#chuuya x chuoya
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âWinners Donât Do Drugsâ
Summary: chuuya and chuoyaâs celebration of 4:20 is cut short when the weed police arrive to investigate an anonymous tip
Notes: HAPPY 4/20 BITCHES HAVE A FUCKIN MEME LOL
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âoh shit bro i think imma bout 2 nut on ur bodeyâ chuuya grunted as chuoya shoved his patent-pending Pussy Rekter 69 TM further up his tight little ass.
âboy howdy pardnerâ chuoya purred seducktevly, yanking chuuyas nipple piercings with one tiny lil babby hand and shoving the bick further, ever further, up the tightest ass in yokohama with the other. âi cant wait to feel that sweet dick gravy all over my biscuits yallâ
âHOLD UP THE FUCK BROâ chuuya SHRIEKED, shoving chuoya off the racecar bed and onto the pile of empty cheeto bags and mountain dew cans on the flor (chuuyas a fucckin l33t af mlg pro, thats why he was 360-no scoping that ass). ânow is NOT the time for the sexk!â
chuoya gasped, clutching his cowboy hat to his rippling, nut-splattered pecs. âbut pardner isnt it ALWAYS time for the secks?â teers rolled down chuoyas cheeks. teers of nut rolled down his ass cheeks. âi thought yall were the hron 4 meh. is my rough-ridin stallion of a bod not sexy enough for yall?â
âits not thatâ chuuya assured the orangenette, patting his sticky head. âim very much hrorny for ur body and lov making the sex on u bUT-â he jestured wildly at the ninjago alarm clock on the bed stand. it looked like cole from ninjago- chuuya had asked for one that looked like lord garmadon but his bitch ass mom got him the wrong one. thx obama. right on coles chest (behind all the nut) there was a clock that said 4:20
the ninago alarm clock bussted out its ninjago alarm cOCK and ejaculated on the chuuyas. âITS NINJA O CLOCKâ he cried, gyrating his shapley birthing hips.
chuuya gravely patted the ninjago alarm clockâs throbbing erection âu bet ur sugar sweet ass it isâ he said very seriously. he turned to chuoya, also, very seriously, with seriousness in his eyes. âit is has become THE TIMEâ
chuoya smorked. âwell shove a horses tallywacker up my feedin hole and call me mom!â he said, pulling a bong out of his ass. âlooks like its time for some good ol fashioned plant-fuckin!â
âoh yahâ chuuya moaned, shoving the bong into his face mouth. âimma giv this weed the real good succ. i lov to smonk weedâ
âyeehaw!â chuoya agreed, injecting preciesly one weed into his dicc.
âim so fucckin high rn!â chuuya whimpered, licking the rim of the bong to suc up that dank weed juice.
âHIGH!??? NO ONE IS GETHING HIGH WHEN THE WEED POLICE IS AROUND!!!1!â the door was knocked down, revealing EGGNOG SACKAGUCHI who had knocked down the door.
âEgGNOG??????â chuuya exclained. âhow did u knock down that door?â
eggnog grinned. âthey dont call me sackaguchi for nothin.â he frowned and shook his massive girthy sack at the chuuyas. âim here 2 arrest u for snorting weedâ
âu dont snort weed u fuckin loserâ chuuya snorted. âhav u ever even done a weed in ur life u fuckin n00b?â
âya, i bet yall were REALLY popular in high scoolâ chuoya added. him and chuuya slapped their peens together. it was like a sekret handshake but like with dicks.
âi dont know what u do with weed bc im not a filthy MISCREANTSâ eggnog sackaguchi screamed. he was is cry bc the chuuyas were right and he was a fucckin loser. his tears fell onto his limp ballsack. âall i know about weed is that weed is BAD and u fuckos are going to WEED JAILâ
chuuyas dick got super duper mega erect with excitement!!!! âa hole jail made of weed!??â he screamed. âall my dreams are coming tru!!! next thing u know it gordon ramsay will burst thru the wall like the kool aid man and start giving everyone hot blowies!â a 6â2 angery blond guy burst thru the wall like the kool aid man and chuuya cremed his jenes! âOH MY FUCK ITS GORDON RAMSAYâ chuuya whimpered loudly, thrusting his eager and ready asshole toward the new arrival. âTAKE ME RAW GORDEN, MY BODY IS READYâ
the blondette pushed his glasses up his nose so they did the anime thing. âim not gordon ramsay u ignrorant slutâ he growled. âyeah this is my weed police partner kunikidonkâ eggnog said smugly. he said everythign smugly bc he was a stupid fuck.
kunikidonk knodded. âyea that. i am heer to handcuff u-â
chuuya sprinted ass-first at kunikidonk shriekign at the top of his lungs âYES DADDY YES!!!!TIE ME UP SCOTTYâ
eggnog slapped chuuya in the face with his massive sack. âDONT TAKE THE NAME OF STAR TREK IN VAIN U FILTHTY WHOREâ he shrieked. he got so angery he popped a sack boner!
âbut w8 yall!â chuoya exclaimed. âhow did yall even know chuuyall and me were doin weed?â
kunikidonk did the anime glasses thing again. âwe got a tip off from an anonymous sourceâ
âyou can get your tip off on me anytime gordon daddyâ chuuya panted, humping kunikidonks leg. âi can locate ur lam sauce- in my ASS!!!!!1!!â
âyall just waitâ chuoya growled as sackaguchi handcuffed him to his massive sack and dragged him out the door. âill find out who snitched if its the last thing i do!â
âyoull NEVRE find out!â eggnog laffed cruelly. âit was a top-secret classified anonymous person and i would never tell u that it was cyuya!â
chuuya stopped grinding on kunikidonk long enough to be outraged. âIT WAS CYUYA?!â
âHOLY SHIT IT CAN READ MY MIND!!!â sackaguchi screeched. he was so freked out that he uncuffed chuoya from his sack and jumped out the window! at least he meant to jump- his thicc sacc got stucc and kunikidonk had to push him out.
kunikidonk shook his head sadly as he handcuffed the chuuyas and dragged them out the door. âyou too are going to b behind bars for a long, long timeâ
âoh daddy how long is it?â chuuya salivated.
kunikidonk crouched down so he could look chuuya seriously in the eyes. âten to twenty-fiveâ
chuuya fainted from pleasure!!!!!
as kunikidonk pulled his sick-ass polise car out of the apartment, chuoya looked out the back window and saw cyuya smirking evilly.
âWHY DID YALL BETRAY ME BROTHERâ chuoya sobbed over the sound of his breaking hart and withering boner. âWHY DID YALL CALL THE WEED POLICEâ
cyuya shook his head in sadness as he pressed a button on the remote control he was holding. the remote control was to control the bomb he planted in kunikidonks police car and when he pressed the button it blew the fuck up. tears poured down cyuyas face, wiping away the blood and nut stains on his cheeks. âwinners dont drugs.â
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My bestie aka Chuuya didn't. Enjoy Chuuya falling on his assâ˘.
#nakahara chuuya#chuya nakahara#bsd chuuya#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungou sd#bungo stray dogs#cosplay#dazai x chuuya#chuoya
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CHUUYA X CHUOYA
They say that birds of a feather flock together.
But they never said that one typo could create such a magnificent human being.
Chuuya, like most people, was incredibly perplexed, as well as fucking pissed that the common typos of his name manifested into a separate entity.Â
The Eldritch-Lovecraft-Shitpost-Lovechild-esque being being called âChuoyaâ, for convenience. To say his name was but a delicate mistake, a slip of the tongue. But even despite that, there was an urge, for but a split second, for Chuuya to slip his tongue on his fellow uhâŚentity?Â
It was strange, because they were not the same. Sure, they wore the same clothes, apart from a strange cowboy hat on Chuoya, who claimed it was from an interdimensional adventure after fighting a very, very high moon. They looked the same aside from this difference, although due to this frustration Elise tied a red ribbon around one of Chuoyaâs sleeves.
Not that Chuuya would be able to tell if the two werenât wearing anything.
âŚ
God fucking damnit he thought that.Â
âYes yâall did.â What the fuck.
Chuuya turned to see the object of his affections, his heart racing because who the fuck randomly bursts in like that. With a seething tension he forgot how damnâŚsiren-like that southern drawl was.Â
âWho the fuck randomly bursts in like that?â
âYâall say that, but yâall didnât go on forgetting about what you just thought.â Sapphire eyes squinted in a smirk. Chuuya had no fucking clue what he was saying.
âHow did you even know that?â A red flush, and an attempt to salvage. âIf I even did think that. Which I didnât.â
âI thought youâd know.â Chuoya tips his cowboy hat. âItâs my ability.â
ââŚFor the tainte-â
âFor the YAINTED SORROW.â A wide beam, âInstead of defying gravity, I just defy physics.â
âUhâŚâ
âItâs called breaking the fourth wall. I mean if you squint your eyes enough you can see that after I say something thereâs a full stop and some quotation marks.â Oh, and Chuuya will probably have some confused reply.
âGod I could kiss you right now.âÂ
âWell hey, subverting expectations is part of comedy and-â Chuoya ceases his decimation and taking over the third person perspective. âW-What?â
âIâve thought about it for too long, itâsâŚâ
âBecome a part of me.â
Chuuya gasps softly, âHoly fuck we even finish each otherâs-â
âI hate that trope in cheesy romcoms.â Four eyes of sapphire widened at each other. â
Iâd write more, but letâs just say that there may as well have been a Chuuya with the ability Beast Beneath the Moonlight because honey, they were going at it all night. Also, I donât write nsfw. Iâm a memefucker, not a meme fucker, very big difference. I do however, would like to take this metaphorical fade to black sex scene trope to appreciate the fucking madmen that do write this shit. All the keks my friend.
Speaking of kicks, 69 weeks later they had a child. Well, like most memes, they had a satanic creation. Chuoya chopped off part of his âhair noodleâ and planted it with their meme farm. Yes, the Port Mafia has a meme farm. How the fuck else do you think Bones gets this shit? You think this is an accident? No, this was all planned from the very beginning. First itâs the memes, then itâs your mind.
âCHILLING WITH A HAIR TIE.â The beautiful chirp at 5 am like crows screeching in a gothic film. âNO NOODLE WiTH SOME SWEATPANTS ON.âÂ
âI am so proud of our son.â Chuuya weeps, clinging onto Chuoya, their son was growing healthy, eating kale and quinoa salads sprinkled with salt and pepe. geddit because yâall hc chuuya as french and pepe and pepper and frencaise eat le frogs.
kill me.Â
this was not written by dazai, probably. âWhat in gravitation?â
âWeâre running out of the joke.â
âI am the joke.â
âWho is writing, who is typing, time is an illusion.â
Either way, there is one thing to be certain of in life.Â
And that is that like the endless black void that will with 69 eternities consume itself, love and memes also are constants within the universe, corrupting, giving life and death in our universe.
#i want to die#chuuya#chuoya#bsd#my writing#april fools#also fucking ao3 is down so i cant crosspost this fuckery rip
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happy girthday
Summary: when chuuyas villainous twin brother cyuya murders his weed dealer ranpo, chuoya attacc, but he also protecc
Notes: crackfic won the poll so i figure what better way to celebrate fanfic writer appreciation day or whatever its called than with some good ol fashioned meme fuckery and bagel ass eating, have fun kids
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âromeo no homeo, wherefore art that tight little ass romeo?â chuuya grunted hornily as he jacked himself off over a balcoeny. heâd gotten drunk off his ass watching the 2004 phantom of the opera movie adaptation with jerard butler in it again which always put him in teh mood 4 dicks n secks. unfortunely for chungus nobody loved him enuff to squeeze his sweet summer sausage. chyuuya began 2 cri.
âo woe is meâ he sobbed, sadly storking his half-limp shrimp dick âi wish I had a romeo of my very own 2 take big hits off my beef bong and/or fuck me senseless on top of a shandeleerâ
ranpo appeered out of NOWHERE with 3 bongs up his ass and 2 to seven blunts crammed in each arousedly quvering nostril. âdid sOMEBODY say WEED????â
âi sed bongâ chuuya repleyed angrily crossing his arms and also his dick
ranpo poked chuuyas dick with his extendable flexible sexily bendable scrotal snake. âIS THAT A WEEDâ he shrieked as his noot-noot started doin the shoot-shoot.
kermet the frog burst thru the door like the cool aids man and shanked rabpo to deth with a giant ass green crayawn that was actuelly his frock (frog cock). âITS NOT WEED U PEACE OF SHIT STONERâ he scremed as he beat the shit out of ranpo
ranpo dragged  his bloody pulp of manggled flesh toweard chuuya useing his weener like a grappleing hook. âo daddyâ he whimpered tragically. he coughed up blood, nut, and ten to pounds of the devils lettceplay. âi am the dedâ he died.
while chooya was crieying/nutting over the smushed up corpse of the artest formerly known as ranppo, kermot creped toerd the bodey and snagged up the weed with his long veiny tongue.
âYOU IGNORANT FOOLSâ he cried swelling to his magestic height of 5â3â as his boner swelled to ITS majestic height of 6â8â. his frog skin slid away to revel a green tracksoot with wite stripes and he tore off a rubber mask so his radient orange hair could flow freely except it couldnt cuz it wass matted with nut and also the blood of his enemies. there was no noddle. âITS FITNESS TIME MOTHERFUCKERS!â
chuuya GASPEd. âcYUYU HAKOSHO??!??â he exclammed. he remmaried the clam and then exclaimed âHOW UNFORESKINNABLEâ
âthats rite slut!â said cyuya smugly as he shoved each tender leaf of mariagge iguana up his tite little ass. âtrembol in fear, for u and ur loose buttholed compainon rampo never stood a chance! its time for u to fitness gram pacer test-â he wipped out a glock and also his erecktion â-DEATHâ cyuya stuck his sexinâ noodle into the trigger and flexed it to shoot chuuya in the hed
âYALLDVE GONNA GET REKT PARDNERâ yelled chuoya angerly as he leapt in front of chuuya and proteccted him  from cyuyas rath. the bullet rebounded off chuoyas rock hard erection and hit cyuya in the dick hole. cyuya collapsed in a heap of corpse.
chuoya cradled chuuyas head in his bara tiddys. âyehaw buddy youve been thru a rough ridinâ rooty tootinâ ready for shootinâ kinda day aint ya pal?â
chuuya sniffled and wiped his nose nut onto chuoyas hair noddle as he fondled the tiny sheriff badges chuoya wore over each perky nipple. âi most certainly have good comradeâ he whimpered sexily. âpls, wipe of my tears with ur cowboy crotch cableâ
âill do ya one better mâpardnerâ chuoya replied tipping his hat and winking with all three eyes, âill make ya brekfastâ
âjust dont make it tWO fast if u now wat i meanâ sed chuuya seductively as he spred his noddle limbs wide for his cowboy compainon. one of his legs brushed over ranpos ded bodey so he moved it back. âtake ur tim daddyâ
chuuya was dissapointed when it turned out chuoya actuaely ment that he was making brekfast. âoâ he sighed disapointedly âso when u sed uâd make brekfast, u ttoaley ment itâ
chuoya took 8 bagels out of the toster. âwat else could i possibley hav ment? now shov these up ur assâ
ânow ur talkin dady!â chuuya shrieked exceitely as he opened up his buttholeio with glee
chuoya slowly and tenederly insulted the bagles into chuuyas ass. âget in there u punk bitch motherfuckERESâ he roared âur bagel mothers never loved u! that outfit makes ur bagle ass look too flat for a rap song!â the bagels sobbily lept into chuuyas anus
âi am packed to the brim with bagely goodnessâ chuuya whimpered satisfiedly ânow pack me with ur schleen queen 2017!â
chuoya tenderly inserted his titanic tallywacker into chuuyas fresh young asshole so preceisly and smartly that it went thr the holes in the bagels and pulled them all out at once like a shishkabob. âhappy girthday bitchâ he whispered sexily into chuuyas poop chute.
chuuya nutted 17 times at once! chuuya and chuoya ate bagels rosted on a fire they made out of cyuya and rnapos corpses and they all fucked happily ever after the end
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so to celebrate my last week before moving back to wisconsin for the school year (and distract myself from the misery that is NOT being in wisconsin for the school year already) im gonna be writing a fic and im vaguely curious as to what sort of fic people would be interested in seeing so why not have a vote?
also heres some more in-depth examples that might help anyone whos familiar with my fics
crackfic- âa tale of three chuuyasâ (its chuuya x chuoya x cyuya, need i say more?)
mild meme fuckery-Â âonce upon a timeâ (the chuuaku fic where chuuya says âim a thirsty boy, akuâ and talks about his fuckably delicious strawberry cheesecake) Â
angst-Â âIâm Hereâ (the chuuaku fic where aku fuckin dies and chuuya tries and mostly fails to drag himself out of his depression)Â
super angst-Â âAftermathâ (that skk torture fic i wrote like a million years ago thats literally just describing dazais mangled ass body and chuuya breaking down for a few thousand words)Â
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honestly I love the chuuya mispelling meme iâm writing chuuya x chuoya fanfiction rn but all I think of when I see Cyuya is Jacob Satoriusâ Sweatshirt
it haunts me
#chuuya#cyuya#chuoya#bsd#i can't believe those are fuckig tags now#periperichickenchatter#...CHILLING WITH NO HAIR TIE- NO HAIR NOODLE WITH THE SWEATPANTS ON#KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME
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