#he's the stupidest man alive but knows this

[pickles4nickles]

Last year, I wanted to do some kind of jank, made in Powerpoint VGAs-type stream, but… that requires me to put a Powerpoint together and a speech for each thing… and I’d wanna make a cute little suit for my PNGtuber and I’d need to find the TIME…

And that was too much pressure for me to get everything together.

So instead, I did a blog post rundown of the games that were released in 2024 that I either played or experienced through a stream that I liked or have something to say about it. The fact that any video game is released is kind of a miracle in and of itself and I think that deserves an award, even if it’s not “The Most” or “The Best” of something!

So without further ado, here’s my version of the 2024 Video Game Awards:

The Worst Use of the Name “Mililani” Award | Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth

LaD: Infinite Wealth was the latest release in the Yakuza series, where ex-yakuza man Ichiban Kasuga goes to Hawai’i to find his mom and shenanigans ensue. The man who is supposed to be Legally Dead and Not Alive known as The Dragon of Dojima, Kiryu Kazuma is also there. He’s having a mortality crisis. It’s fine. If you’ve never played or experienced a Yakuza game, the vibe is essentially big crime J-drama with interludes of silly side stories in-between. Some of these side stories include games that involve taming and getting into cockfights with middle-aged weirdo men and running a vacation resort with cameos from characters of the Japanese equivalent of Sesame Street.

I actually wrote a really, really long review about this game back in the Spring, so I’ll keep this section as short as I can. LaD: IW is a game that attacked my soul as I am a Hawai’i born and raised Gamer™. For the most part, I did enjoy the 100+ hours I put into the game and I did like the battle system and side games, but I have some gripes about the story and I do kinda cross my arms at the way the game portrayed my hometown. That being said I think Infinite Wealth is… ffffine and I’d recommend it if you like the Yakuza series or big JRPGs, just… be wary of the intercultural perceptions.

The Productivity Killer Award | Balatro

Balatro is a roguelike deck building game that revolves around making the highest scoring Poker hands, while using various Joker and other cartomancy-kinda cards to manipulate your score, but also editing your deck by modifying or adding to the traditional 52 that you’d use in regular Poker.

Balatro’s just… good! It’s really easy to pick up even if you don’t know how to play real Poker (like me), but there’s also an insane level of mastery to be had with it. There’s just something kinda fun about breaking the rules of a long-established card game that feels great.

The Tiniest Terry Award | Tiny Terry’s Turbo Trip

Tiny Terry’s Turbo Trip is a game by the Wuppo devs where you’re a little blue guy who drives his car around the town of Spranklewater, collecting Turbo Junk to upgrade his car to launch it into space. You also have a pipe. To assert dominance :)

TTTT has this really specific dry and absurdist flavor of humor that I really, really like. And on top of that it’s just a really fun game to run around in and play. Massive overworld maps that you find in bigger budget games can get overwhelming, but this game has just the right amount of places to go and poke around in.

The Stupidest Game I’ve Played This Year /pos Award | Thank Goodness You’re Here!

Thank Goodness You’re Here is a game where you’re a little man in a delightful 2D, hand-drawn British town and you just kinda slap things and help people with their problems. Sometimes there is a dick joke. Sometimes there is just straight up A Dick. Because British humor.

I don’t have too much, like, deep and meaningful insight about this one… because it’s really not that type of game. I really like the art style of this game, the whole thing is pretty much just one, big interactive sketch comedy. It’s a game that’s very unapologetic about its culture by just forcing you to sit with how grimy it can be at times, and it’s great!

The Devotion Burger Award | Great God Grove

Great God Grove is a game from the Smile for Me devs about a world in which every thirty or so years, a giant rift in the sky opens up that acts as a portal between the mortal plane and the realm of the gods. An elected human can enter the rift and ascend to godhood, but if left open too long, the rift will suck up and destroy the world. The gods have always joined together to close the rift, but this time around, The Grove is in chaos. Due to some nasty letters sent out by the next-god-to-be, King, it doesn’t seem like the gods will come together in time to stop the apocalypse, so it looks like it’s your job to straighten things out. With your trusty tool, the Megapon, you can suck up the words people say and shoot them at other people to help people communicate and solve puzzles.

So you’ve all been seeing me draw fanart of this game. This game got into my HEAD. LimboLane’s character designs and writing are always so unique and quirky and they’re not afraid to put their feelings and emotions into their art (I have been learning recently that that is very hard to do). I was initially interested in this game because of its style, went in as blind as possible, and I did not expect this game to fall into my lap when I really needed it most because it touched upon some subjects that I’ve been kinda struggling with recently. This and Tiny Terry’s Turbo Trip would probably be my Game of the Year picks if I was making that a concrete award for this.

The Gay Fish Award | WEBFISHING

WEBFISHING is a multiplayer lobby (but you can play it solo!) game where you make a little animal guy (cat or dog) and you fish and hang out with your friends. As you fish, you earn money that can be exchanged for cosmetics.

WEBFISHING is a really, really simple game and that’s, like, not a bad thing or to undermine the devs or anything at all. Most multiplayer games have a very concrete goal in mind where players usually have to focus on the main goal to participate, and a lot of us just don’t have the time or the energy to be actively and continuously present for something like that anymore. The nature of WEBFISHING is just hanging out with your pals, popping in and out as it suits you. And we need more games like that.

The Why Have You Done This Award | UFO 50 - Mooncat

UFO 50 is a pack of fifty retro-style games from the Spelunky devs and friends that emulates a fictional video game company’s legacy through the years. Mooncat is one of those games where you play as… what- what the hell is that- An orange (red?) pickle-shaped creature with Grinch feet and unknown motivations.

The directional buttons move the character left and face buttons will move the character right. Pressing a directional button and a face button at the same time will make the character jump and doing so again while in mid-air will make them do a ground pound.

Hey, so, I dunno what mad lad in specific came up with this game, but this is simultaneously one of the worst and best things I have ever played and I think this game should get spotlighted for that emotion alone.

The “Close Enough, Welcome Back Pokemon XD” Award | Beastieball

Beastieball is basically what if Pokemon was also Haikyuu- this is a game that’s Pokemon double battles but also a volleyball game at the same time. As you recruit new critters to your team, they’ll learn new plays, maybe metamorphose into new forms, and make bonds with their teammates.

At the time I initially started writing this, I hadn't finished the whole game- I’m near the end, though, at this game’s version of The Elite Four. The game is also still in early access with a lot of Beasties having unfinished visual assets. Despite all that, BEASTIEBALL IS SOLID. I might write up a longer review of it once I’m done with the game, but as someone whose favorite Pokemon game is Pokemon XD and we haven’t had a solid PvE experience in that franchise in YEARS, Beastieball definitely scratches that itch.

The Cardboard Crack Award | Pokemon TCG Pocket

Pokemon TCG Pocket is Pokemon’s new trading card game app where you collect cards and play a simplified version of the long-running card game. 

I’m putting this here because for being a free-to-play live service kinda game, it’s been… pretty good all things considered? At least for now? Yeah, there’s some decks that aren’t FTP friendly and the RNG will have your head in your hands sometimes. I dunno, as someone who fell hard from playing Pokemon VGC where I got overwhelmed with the amount of plays I had to retain, this was a nice change of pace. I’ve been having fun talking about the different kinda decks that have been going around with friends, sharing the cards we find, and I get to experience the serotonin of opening a card pack without having to spend real world money so... good! While there’s a nonzero chance that the game will fall to ruin a la Pokemon Go, I’ve enjoyed the time I’ve had with the game at the moment.

The “Games I Watched but Didn’t Play” Honorable Mentions

Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom

“Shmovement”- type platformer where you’re a little car with an acceleration button. Has a really great soundtrack! Not-so-subtly dunks on the muskrat man. I don’t have a lot to say about this game because, again, I watched it and didn’t play it and a lot of what makes this game neat is the platforming of it all. It’s on my to-play list, though! So maybe one day.

Crow Country

Survival horror game where you uncover the secrets of the eponymous amusement park, Crow Country. Has an unsettling vibe, goopy monsters, but doesn’t really have any jumpscares, if that helps anyone. I also don’t have a lot to say about this, not just because a lot of the experience comes from having the controller in my hands, but… horror’s not really a genre I go to very often. But I guess if a scaredy baby like me wasn’t put off by the early Playstation-style graphics and could sit through it, that’s a good sign?

Uncle Chop’s Rocket Shop

An auto shop repair roguelike where you consult in-game manuals on how to repair different modules under time pressure. Has a lot of swearing for Vibe Reasons. From what I’ve seen, this game can be FRANTIC, so if you’re looking for a chill game, this might not exactly be for you, but there are two modes- one with smaller jobs, but more time pressure, and another with less time pressure, but bigger jobs that you need to do almost perfectly. I’ve been burnt out on roguelikes, but I might actually consider picking this one up, as the test of skill isn’t necessarily reaction time or muscle memory like your traditional roguelike, but gaining knowledge to fix modules quickly without consulting the manual. And I think that’s neat! I don’t think we’ve had a game like that just yet. That being said, the game has been buggy at times, but the devs have been patching it up regularly, so if you’re interested in picking it up, be aware of that! And waiting a little bit before grabbing it might be a solid move.

Egg Squeeze

If Thank Goodness You're Here! was the stupidest game I've played this year, this is the stupidest game I've watched this year.

I refuse to tell you anything about this game.

Persona 3 Reload

It’s the same Persona 3 we all know from the early 2000s with a LOT of quality of life changes and fully voiced social links! That being said, it is still Persona 3, so your mileage may vary and please note the literal trigger warnings.

I… was not able to finish watching a playthrough of it because the end of the game does get kinda heavy and I haven’t been in the right headspace for it (I do not handle death and mortality very well), but in my opinion, of the more modern, easily accessible Persona games (Pour one out for 1 and 2), I think P3 sticks to its thesis and theming the best.

Metaphor: ReFantazio

A game from the Persona team where it’s the same kinda day-to-day hang out with people to strengthen your bonds, fight RPG dungeon monsters kind of deal, except instead of a Japanese high school, a high fantasy setting. 

I liked watching this game- there’s a lot of twists that made me metaphorically (heh) get up from my chair and go “NO FUCKING WAY” and I do like a lot of the characters and their social links. However, this still is the Persona team and, no, they still do not know how to write young adult women. In terms of overall story, Metaphor asks the question, “In times of fear and anxiety, can the general public be trusted to choose a trustworthy leader?” While the game’s plot and themes swing hard in the beginning, the game’s ending kinda pulls its punches.

Despite all that, from what I’ve seen, there’s a lot of quality of life improvements in this game compared to past Persona games - social links ALWAYS level up for each event, the game will very clearly tell you whether an action will progress time or not, the battle system is very polished, and a lot of people seem to like the Archetype system which allows your party members, not just the protagonist, to change battle classes.

Also, shout-out to some of this game’s enemy designs, as some of them are inspired by Hieronymus Bosch paintings. I don’t think a boss battle has ever filled me with the rawest emotion of “okay what the hell am I looking at” as much as this game.

Astro Bot

In the past few years, Team Asobi, a first-party developer for Sony, has been making what are basically tech demos for the Playstation, featuring their little cutie robot player character, Astro Bot. This year, they released a full-on collectathon platformer! A green Minion-ass lookin’ alien breaks apart your spaceship and scatters your robot buddies to the winds, and it’s your job to save them.

I’m just gonna sound like a broken record at this point because, yeah, this game won the VGAs and so many people have sung its praises, but I’m genuinely glad this won GOTY. Even though it’s a very “Sony wants you to remember how good they are/used to be” kind of game that pricks you with a needle and pumps 50ccs of nostalgia into you, it’s still a very solid game without it. To me, the visuals are the best part, with bright, colorful worlds that have so, so much polish into them and you can tell the team had fun making it. I’m glad this game won the GOTY because I want this industry to realize that games don’t need to be gritty and realistic to have value, they just need to be made with heart.

And Two Games I Played This Year that were 2023 Releases

In Stars and Time

Dude, you’re still on Tumblr, you probably heard of this one.

In Stars and Time is a black and white RPG Maker kinda RPG where you play as Siffrin, who is So Very Okay And Not Having A Rough Time At All and stuck in a time loop. The battles operate under a literal rock-paper-scissors weaknesses system with a ATB (Active Time Battle) meter and a Persona-like All-Out Attack style system, which builds as you use the same types of attacks in succession.

It has The Character (Siffrin) with The Character Design. It has the object head character. It has maybe the most casual conversations about being trans and being ace that I've ever seen in any video game so far. It has the narrative that will rip your heart out and possibly inspire you to consider therapy (not as a bad thing). It has so much!!

I have a lot of feelings on In Stars and Time as this was maybe the most cathartic game I’ve played in a while that put into words a lot of feelings I haven’t quite been able to name. That being said, I don’t have too much to say other than, like, it’s good? While a lot of games have the ludonarrative dissonance problem, this game achieves ludonarrative harmony. Although the cast has been traveling with the protagonist prior to the start of the game, Siffrin being emotionally distant from them means there’s some stuff they don’t know about their friends, so you get to learn what’s going on with them along with Siffrin. As you go through loop after loop after loop, you’ll maybe get a little frustrated and the game realizes that and reflects that narratively! A lot of RPGs also have trouble nailing the ending or, like, either the gameplay is good and the story falls short or the other way around, but… ISAT’s pretty much nails everything!

If I had played this in 2023 (and Hi-fi RUSH didn’t exist), it might’ve been my GOTY.

Chants of Sennaar

A point-and-click-ish deductive reasoning game where you use cultural and societal context clues to translate language!

I think this is a game that’s best to go in knowing as little as possible, like, if the premise sounds interesting at all to you, go and pick it up. If you’re on the fence about it because puzzle games can be difficult, the game has a note-taking journal system that’ll help you confirm translations and show any notes you’ve taken on-screen as you’re puzzling stuff out, so you don’t have to worry about getting overwhelmed. I think that’s all I can say about it without spoiling anything, so go grab it if it piques your interest at all.

[bookwyrminspiration]

everyone SHUT UP and look at him. THE main character of all time. was your fav the god of the sun in a past life turned prince of destruction destined to destroy the world? i didn't think so. AND he's bisexual

[glitchfang]

imagine being sega and looking at the state of the franchise at that point and going “yknow what’s really holding our series back? shadow the fucking hedgehog” and electing to never make him actually playable again for decades and your games still sucked. how embarrassing is that. if i was the employee who pushed for that i wouldnt show my face

sorry. still insane to me how people looked at sonic 06 and its atrocious troubled development and went “ah yes! i know what went wrong here! sonic has too many friends and the games have big stories!” and THAT was the lesson that sega took from 06. and then we kept getting shitty games made under terrible conditions but then the stories were nothingburger and the cast was mostly obsolete.

[peachsukii]

✮ content. fantasy au. reader is known as the "Tundran Thief." slight predator/prey vibes. reader is "captured" by bakugo. bakugo is an esteemed hunter + semi-royalty.

⇢ winter thief au (prev) | (next)

This might be the stupidest thing you've ever done.

His challenge to hunt you sends a chill down your spine, the adrenaline rush fueling your sudden burst of energy, bolting for the trees to the north. He growls watching you run — a devilish smirk tugging on his lips as he gives you a head start. It’s not long until the familiar hefty crunching of snow under his feet echoes through the trees around you, louder than your own footsteps as you’re desperate to escape. He wasn’t kidding, he’s fast.

And then…silence.

It stops you in your tracks, your first mistake. You should’ve known better than to stop running. A large hand grasps your shoulder in the blink of an eye, easily throwing you onto your back into the snow with a softened thud. It knocks the air from your lungs, your eyes wide as he loomed above you. He slams the blade of his sword into the ground right next to your cheek, a mercy and a warning.

“I said you wouldn’t get away, little rabbit.” He finally gets a closer look at you, hating how his stomach churns at the sight of your flushed face. He quickly disguises the feeling with a crooked grin, flashing his canines at you. “Pretty little thing, ain’t ya?"

“Just kill me already,” you quip breathlessly with an eye roll. You're in no room to protest, and yet, your sassy attitude persists.

He snarls at your insistence as he stands back to his full height, removing his sword from the ground and returning it to its sheath. “Nah, need ya alive. Yer comin’ with me.”

Gods dammit.

Before you can fight back, he’s got your hands and feet bound with your body thrown over his shoulder like a hunted animal. Usually you’d find yourself kicking and screaming, refusing to be anyone’s captor, but you didn’t have a choice this time. This man is twice your size and fully armed. What the hells could you have done?

“You gonna turn me in?” You mutter sometime later, grumbling in defeat while bouncing on his shoulder. “Bet you’d get a hell of a reward.”

He pinches your thigh roughly, eliciting a squeak of surprise from your lips. “Ow! The hell?!”

“Shut it, princess,” he growls back. “Not turnin’ you in.”

“Why not?” You dare to ask. “You know—”

“I know who you are,” he interrupts and pinches your thigh again. “Takin’ you home. Don’t make a scene an’ keep yer head down.”

He tosses his fur pelt over your body, hiding you from plain sight. Unless up close, no one would be able to tell who — or what — you are. It's not long until the sound of busy streets and commotion fill your ears. Are you at a guard post? Was there even one nearby?

“Prince Bakugo!” A man greets. “Welcome back. I see the hunt was a success.”

Bakugo? Where have you heard that name before? And then it hits you — Bakugo, as in the family of prestigious hunters, the warrior tribe of the East. Your captor is the gods damn prince of the most dangerous village on the continent.

"Mm," Bakugo grunts back in acknowledgement. "Sure was."

[deaddee-anime-brownfanlady]

Everything! Everything this man is saying is so damned true. If you are someone who willingly voted for Trump while knowing what he'll do once he gets in Office again.

Deeply FUCK YOU! If you're a person that refuses to vote against him and didn't do anything to stop him at all than FUCK YA'LL too.

If you are a Muslim or Latino or a Non-Black POC that supported and voted for Trump and are now worried about being deported and banned from the country, I really don't feel sorry for any of ya'll. Some of ya'll non-Black POC countine to showcase that ya'll will always choose White Supremacy and Whiteness at the end of the day while simultaneously voting against your own self interests while still being anti-Black as hell.

You won't get any sympathy from me whatsoever. Ya'll Fuckers wanted this so deal with it.

To the percentage of White Women who yet again let down Black Women & other Women of Color by voting for having less bodily anatomy and less rights than you're great great-grandmother, Ya'll don't deserve any sympathy neither.

Pro-Palestine people, FUCK OFF too. Ya'll are also full of bullshit and have showcased that ya'll truly don't give a Fuck about Palestinians or Gazans lives when you let a raging White supremacist like Trump who have said he'll let Netanyahu " Finish the Job", and will have no remorse or issues Nuking the hell out of both Gaza and Palestine altogether.

Ya'll aren't " activists " of any kind and have shown just how unserious, radicalized, brainwashed extremists ya'll truly are in terms of your so-called " Support ".

To the percentage of brain-dead Black men who also voted for this bastard, I rarely used the N-word in my vocabulary. But ya'll are truly some stupid-ass Nigg*s. You're character as a person is garbage and you are a disgrace to your grandparents and many other Black people of the Civil rights movement who fought and died for your fucking ass and this is how you repay them.

By voting for a White supremacist and beyond racist piece of shit. Ya'll Uncle Tom's or I should say Ruckuses don't deserve any sympathy neither.

The third-party voters and those who wasted their vote on Jill stein as a protest vote, ya'll are the stupidest group of people alive and FUCK ALL OF YA'LL as well.

I've seriously had enough of this shit. I'm tired and sick of being held hostage by the ignorant and stupid and hateful people of this damned country.

I'm just so fucking sick.

Ya'll won't get any sympathy from me if you actually wanted this man in power again or refused to actually vote against him during the election.

You've shown ya'll true characters and how horrible of people ya'll truly are.

Don't expect any sympathy or empathy towards you if you're the one who wanted this to happen.

[diyasgarden]

diya, i need you to write some EX patrick, it's a need, i don't have a plot in mind but he's just DESPERATE

Errand Ex

rating: suggestive

word count: 3.3K

summary: After breaking up with Patrick, you realize there are other ways he can be of use to you.

contains: suggestive language

author's note: I love when you send me requests <3 Ex Patrick is so yummy. Desperate Ex Patrick is even yummier. I feel like there is already a lot of Ex Patrick out there, so I combined couple ideas I had into this and it turned into short fic. I'll be so honest, I did not proof read this.

----

“Why the fuck were you making out with him?” Patrick exclaims the minute he has pulled you outside of the bar. You’re not drunk, but tipsy enough that the fast motion makes you feel dizzy and you have to take a moment to process the fact that Patrick Zweig is once again standing in front of you. It’s a somewhat disorienting sight. No scratch that. It's a very disorienting sight. It feels like a cruel joke that just as you were trying to move on, this was when Patrick decided to make a reappearance in your life.

For the past two weeks, Patrick lingered in the back of your head. He was your boyfriend and suddenly he was nowhere to be seen. No texts. No calls. Nothing. It was exhausting waiting for some sign he was alive, and then finally you decided you had enough. You sent him a message saying it was over and decided to go out with your friends. Some guy bought you drinks, and well you were single now so you thought might as well talk to him. He wasn’t exactly your type, but you needed the distraction. One thing led to another, and in your tipsy state you both ended up kissing. It was just some fun. Up until Patrick came out of nowhere, pulling you away from the man, and dragged you outside. Now where you both stand. Patrick says your name which pulls you out of your thoughts, and you realize he is waiting for some response.

His expression is half confused and half angry. He’s upset? What right does he have to be upset? The more you look at the expression the more ironic this situation feels. If you weren’t so pissed, you'd probably be laughing in his face.

“Because I can?” You snap back without a second thought. 

“No you can’t” He snaps right back and he is starting to look more angry than confused. 

This just pisses you off more. You want to say something clever or snappy, but nothing comes to mind. “What the fuck” You exclaim. It comes out simultaneously as a question and a statement. 

“You’re my girlfriend!” he exclaims back, the confusion returning back to his face once more. There is a beat of silence. Now you look confused too. You take a moment to just process the whole scenario. Patrick Zweig who randomly disappeared for two weeks acting like you’re still his girlfriend. This is when you actually start laughing. “What the fuck,” Patrick says watching you laugh. His brows furrowed in confusion and anger once more.

“We,” you pause and make a motion in between the two of you (dramatic but it felt fitting). “Are not dating,” you finish. Your voice is stern and definitive, like putting your foot down. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. The confusion on his face just grows, which causes your expression to soften just a little bit.  “Did you not see my message?” you ask him, slight confusion in your voice now too. He just blankly blinks at you. “The one where I said we’re done?” you ask again, voice slightly trailing off. 

“That…” he starts and his eyes dart to the side as he thinks about it. You can see the exact moment in which he realizes, because he immediately looks back at you. “You were serious?” he then asks quickly. 

It feels like the stupidest question in the world. “You went MIA for two weeks!” you exclaim back as if it explains everything he needs to know (which in all fairness, it should). 

“I was out of town for a tournament!” Patrick says back, and you just scoff. “I was busy!” 

“For fucks sake,” you mutter as you turn around and start walking away from him and the bar. After this interaction, you don’t have the energy to go back into the bar. You walk in the direction of your apartment building, ready to get in bed and forget about any of this happening. Patrick follows behind you. 

“Can we talk about this?” he asks.  

“No.”

“I really was busy!”

You both go back and forth like this until you get back to your apartment building. It’s a short walk, but you think for those five minutes it must have been amusing to anyone who saw you both bickering as you walked. You infront, him a little behind you. You’d also be lying if you said you didn’t find it somewhat endearing that he followed you home like a kicked puppy. 

“I think you’re overreacting,” Patrick says, as you open the door. “You know I can be bad at responding to messages.” He wasn’t wrong. He had a habit of taking time to respond to your messages, but usually he responded. Or at least you’d see him. 

You scoff and roll your eyes in response, “Leave me alone.” You realize as soon as you say it, you don’t mean it, but you quickly walk inside and start going up the steps to your floor so he can’t see that realization on your face. You feel relieved when you hear the old steps creak behind you as you walk up. 

“Please,” he says as you both get to your apartment door. You huff as you take a second to unlock the door. It never opens easily, so you channel all the frustration you have towards him and use it to push the door open. Once you’ve done so, you turn back to look at him. A part of you wants to let him back in and forget about the past two weeks. Then you remember this is the same man who just disappeared for two weeks. That was enough to snap you back into reality.  

“Goodbye,” you say as you walk and slam the door in his face.

----

The next morning you woke up on your bed in the same clothes as last night. You realized you must have fallen asleep as soon as you got back. This prompts the realization that you forgot to tell your friends you left, and you grab your phone to send them messages. As expected you see texts from your friends asking if you were okay. What you didn’t expect was the spam of messages from Patrick. 

Patrick: I’m sorry 

Patrick: We should talk about this. 

Patrick: This isn’t a big deal 

Patrick: Let’s talk?

Patrick: ????? 

Again you found yourself mildly endeared by the messages. Your finger moved to type, but you didn’t know what to say. You’d say yes and fall back into a relationship with him? You’d say no and would he keep sending more messages until you agreed to talk? Both possibilities would have taken you down a path to a location you were trying to avoid. You decided it was just best to ignore them, telling yourself he’d stop sooner or later. 

----

Well he didn’t stop. He took a complete 180 turn when it came to texting. You were constantly receiving messages. 

Patrick: Please can we talk about this. 

Patrick: It was a mistake. 

Patrick: Please I miss you. 

The content of his messages differed, based on when he was sending them to you. He sent messages throughout the day, but he would spam at night. Couple hours after midnight is when they would be most explicit. . 

Patrick: [Image Attachment]

Patrick: [Video Attachment] 

Patrick: I can’t get my hand to feel as tight as your cunt. 

(He sent a good amount of dick pics and jerking off videos)

After a couple days you also start getting messages like this. 

Patrick: Okay fine. You want to be done? We’re done

Patrick: Going to go find someone else to be with. 

Couple hours later those messages would be followed up by messages like this. 

Patrick: I thought about you the whole time.  

Patrick: No one feels as good as you. 

Patrick: I only want you.

It was also pretty easy to tell when he was drunk. 

Patrick: Plrssw. Cqn I cine ocet?

Sometimes they could be sappy. 

Patrick: I want to hold you. 

Patrick: I miss holding you. 

Sometimes they could be random. 

Patrick: I saw those cookies you like at the grocery store earlier today. 

And sometimes they managed to be horny, sappy, and random all at the same time. 

Patrick: I smelt your perfume in public today and I got hard. 

Patrick: It didn’t smell as nice as it smells on you. 

Patrick: I miss how you smell. 

Everynight he spammed. It was a combination of all of these messages, and you never really knew what to expect besides the fact that you’d be getting spammed in the first place. 

Waking up to all of them was a treat. Going through the spam was your version of reading the news. You’d wake up, get ready, grab something to eat, and sit down on your couch while you scrolled through all of them. You wondered how long this would go on, while also hoping it’d never stop. 

----

As you sit down on the couch with tea and a bagel, getting ready to do your morning scroll through everything Patrick sent the night before, when you hear a little zap sound. It takes a moment to realize what happened, but when the room suddenly feels a little more dull, you realize one of the light bulbs fizzed out. 

You look up at the ceiling and notice that in the four lights in the living room ceiling, only one is still working. “Fuck, did another one go out too?” Cailee, your roommate asks as she walks in, seeing you look up at the ceiling. You nod still looking at it. “One in the hallway went out too,” she adds with a sigh as she looks up at it. “This place is a dump,” she mutters, as she sits down on the couch beside you. 

She wasn’t wrong. While the both of you did the most to keep it nice, the apartment building itself was old, and it was clear in all the little repairs neither of you got around to. Whenever you brought it up with the landlord, he simply shrugged you off. Saying he’d get around to it (he never did). 

Changing the light bulbs was a small task compared to the other things that needed to be fixed. It was just an annoying one. You’d need to get the mini ladder and it reminded you of all the other things that needed fixing. “Guess one of us should handle that before the last light goes,” Cailee says looking up at the lights. As you looked up at it, a little light bulb went off in your head. 

----

You: Can you come over? I need help changing some light bulbs. 

Patrick: Seriously?

You: Yes

Patrick: On my way.

----

“So he’s really just came over for that,” Cailee asks as she takes a sip from her coffee. Both of you are standing in the kitchen watching Patrick screw the light bulb in. He’s tall enough that he is standing on a little stool and is able to replace the lights. 

You nod in response as you watch him do so. She looks at you with an expression that shows she clearly doesn’t believe in you. “I’m dead serious. He kept texting me, so I asked him to come over for this,” you say with a little head shake. 

“And he’s just here to change the lightbulb?” she asks again in a voice that shows she doesn’t believe you. 

“Cailee. Just that,” you tell her with a little huff, as you look back at Patrick. He’s nearly done with the light bulb. 

Your roommate just sighs with a shrug. “Well if you say so,” she says as she takes another sip of her coffee. You know she doesn’t believe you fully so you just roll your eyes. Patrick steps off the stool now and she must realize he’s done too. “See you later,” she whispers to you as she walks away from the kitchen back to her bedroom in the apartment. You watch her go and when you turn back to look in the direction of the living room, you see Patrick walking towards you. 

“Fixed the bulb,” he says, his voice slow as if he is trying to lead into something. You know he is going to apologize or ask about getting back together or something like that. Before he has the chance to say anything you decide to speak. 

“Come there are some more you need to replace,” you say quickly as you drag him into the hallway to change more light bulbs. 

----

Once the light bulbs were finished, you started to realize how many other things in your apartment needed fixing. Well you already knew that, but now it was glaringly obvious how much they needed to be fixed. 

“I just think we can call him over to help with some other things around here,” you say with a shrug looking over from your place on the couch to where Cailee is sitting. She looks at you with a raised eyebrow and then laughs. “What?” you instantly question. 

“You just want him around,” she says with a smile. 

You roll your eyes in response. “No, of course not.”

“Hmm yeah sure,” she says sarcastically. 

You roll your eyes again, “I just think there are a lot of things in the apartment that need to be fixed.” You move your hands around a little bit for dramatic effect. “You agree.” Caillee slowly nods her head as well. “So he could come help us,” you add with a little shrug. 

She just sighs with a little laugh, “Yeah okay he can.” It’s clear she doesn’t believe this is not about seeing Patrick again, but her voice is genuine as well. It’s the acknowledgement that he could actually help out, that makes you give her a small smile.

----

You: There are some other things I need help with

Patrick: Okay

Patrick: Are you asking me to help?

You: Yes 

----

You knew it was somewhat cruel to keep him coming back for more things. You reasoned that it wasn’t necessarily exploiting his kindness either. You knew Patrick was only saying yes because he wanted to get back with you. So in a way his behavior was self serving too. If anything you were just making the most of the situation. 

Over the next couple weeks, Patrick was at your apartment every other day to help with something. He helped patch up that weird dent in the wall that was there when you moved in. He helped fix the front door, which now opens without a struggle. Sometimes he’d come even if you just needed help moving furniture around. 

He was still sending you messages, except now he wasn’t spamming as much and the messages were scattered throughout the day. Your text history looked like this: 

Patrick: Do you want to get dinner together?

Patrick: ???

[seen by you]

You: Need some help fixing the ball and chain in the toilet. 

Patrick: On my way

You were pretty sure that some of the things you asked him to do were things he had no idea how to do either. When you called him to help clean your drain, you caught him looking at a youtube video on how to do it. Somehow more than the help itself, the fact that he was actively learning how to do it for you made it more endearing to you. There was also something very attractive about watching Patrick do these things. The way his muscles flexed. The way his shirt would raise just enough when he raised his arms. The little grunts if something was hard. (Although you’d never admit this to him). 

The bad part was that he tried striking a conversation with you after everything he did. While he tried doing this over text as well, it was easier to ignore him there rather than in person. Anytime he finished whatever errand you needed help with, you would suddenly “remember” that you had some work you needed to finish up or that you were late to meet with a friend. Somehow this always worked. 

----

Eventually, you ran out of things for him to do around the apartment. He resolved nearly every thing you and Cailee put off and what your landlord ignored. Not that you stopped asking for his help, you just started asking for different things. He was now regularly helping you pick up your groceries and mail. 

You: Can you help me take some things to the laundromat tomorrow? 

Patrick: Yeah 

Patrick: Are we’re back together?

[seen by you]

Patrick wasn’t the only one under the impression all of this meant your relationship was basically repaired. “You do realize he’s basically being your boyfriend now,” Cailee said when you told her about how you and Patrick were both going to the laundromat. 

“No, he is just helping.” 

“Yeah okay sure,” she said with a little laugh. Most of your other friends assumed you were back together too. It was frustrating. You just needed the help. He was willing to help. It was nothing else. 

----

You realized how much of a mistake the laundromat was the minute you put everything in the machine. 

“Can we finally talk about it?” Patrick asks. 

You sit down on the bench in front of the washing machine and shrug. “There is nothing to talk about,” you say, unable to make eye contact with him. 

Patrick scoffs and looks at you. “I made a mistake. I want to be with you.” He pauses and then asks, “Isn’t this enough?” He makes a little motion to the washing machine as he asks, although you know he is referring to everything he has done for you in the past couple weeks. In retrospect, you had him doing things for you for a longer period of time than he actually ghosted you by this point. 

“I just needed help,” you say, turning to look at him. “I’m sorry if you’re 

“No you wanted to see me,” he snaps back, leaning in a little closer to you as he says it. Now you scoff, but before you can say anything, he goes, “Don’t fucking deny it. You asked me to help you at a laundromat?” 

“I couldn’t carry it all by myself,” you say back quickly to depend on yourself. You realize how stupid it sounds the minute it leaves your lips. He scoffs again, but before he can say anything, you snap back, “Well no one forced you to come.”

He just looks at you for a moment with a slight smirk and mutters, “Fuck this.” He then stands up and storms out of the laundromat. You just watch him go.

You end up handling the rest of the laundry by yourself. You spend the entire time at the laundromat, and then walk home thinking about Patrick and the conversation you had before he left. Even when you walk back into the apartment and look around, all you can see are the things Patrick helped you out with around the place. 

----

The next day you wake up to no text messages from Patrick, but instead a package delivery. “I think it’s that bookshelf we ordered,” Cailee says as she drags the Ikea box into the living room. 

As Cailee begins to open the package to confirm what it is, you can feel your hand pull out your phone without thinking. It was a reflex at this point. 

You: Want to help me build something?

It feels a bit silly the moment you realize what you were doing. Even sillier the moment when you click send. The feeling goes away completely the minute you hear the ding of a text notification. 

Patrick: On my way. 

Well, some things never change.

author's note: Thoughts? This was just a silly idea I had. Hope you enjoyed!

[shanastoryteller]

HAPPY PRIDE! Can i get a continuation of zagreus?

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

Thanatos brings Zagreus's people to him directly, when he can. It's easy to tell, now that he knows. Zagreus's power clings to them even in death, a whisper of what kept them alive this long curling around their immortal soul.

He can't take everyone, but he's close. Hypnos seems relieved to not have to sneak quite so many people into Zagreus's rooms and has yet to ask questions of any of them, even if he so obviously knows something is going on. He's not sure if that's his brother's stupidest move to date, or the smartest.

People are always delighted to go to the Prince's Court.

Usually it's mixed feelings, even to those he brings to Elysium, but Zagreus's realm brings only excitement and happiness. It's the only place in the underworld where people don't have to fight to exist.

He steps through the castle after dropping off an old man who'd run from him as soon as they arrived to embrace his mother, a women who looked twenty years younger than him. It's twilight, the not-sun his grandparent made dimming enough to bathe everything in a blue glow.

"Looking for me?"

He turns to see Zagreus leaning against a pale white column, flames licking up his feet and a cocky grin that's been getting Thanatos in trouble his whole life.

"Yes," he says. It's almost true. He's always looking for him. "Hades is going to start noticing the dip in numbers soon."

Zagreus shrugs. "What's he going to do about it? I'll just kick his ass."

"I fear you are not taking this seriously," he sighs, bridging the distance between them, close enough that it would be so, so easy for nothing to separate them.

Zagreus grins, head tipped back. He's so bright, red in blood and flame, but in this light he's tempered to a softer violet. In this light, he almost looks touchable. "A fear well founded."

[kaleldobrev]

Stupidest Person Alive

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Summary: After a near death experience in which you almost lost Dean, you tell him that you can’t risk losing him again.

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: Cursing (9x), Fluff, Soft!Dean, Parent!Dean

Authors Note: I refuse to accept the canon ending of Supernatural after all these years | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

You don’t know the exact amount of time you’ve been sitting in this uncomfortable hospital chair, curled up, huddled underneath a random flannel of Dean’s that was in a duffel bag in the trunk of Baby. You rubbed your eyes, trying to get rid of the sleepiness; surprised that you even managed to get a wink of sleep.

The last few days have honestly been some of the worst days of your life, as you were told by doctor after doctor that Dean’s condition didn’t seem to be getting any better. It stayed the same, which was a good and bad thing. He was in and out of consciousness, barely awake long enough to have a conversation. His eyes would just flutter open and he would briefly look at you. And you would smile at him, and he would do the same. His lips always looking like he was about to say something but he never did as his eyes just shut again. Each and every time his eyes shut, a part of you hoped that it wouldn’t be the last time.

The last few days have given you a lot of time to reflect, reflect about your time as a hunter; thinking about all of the good you have done, but also thinking about all of the times you’ve nearly died or have actually died. In the words of Dorothy, “you’re not a real hunter unless you’ve come back from the dead.” And you, Sam, and Dean have come back from the dead more times than you could count at this point, but you’re pretty sure Dean had the highest death count.

“Not awake yet?” Sam asked, two Styrofoam cups of coffee in hand.

“No,” you answered as he handed you one of the cups, “Thanks.”

“I’m surprised you fell asleep,” he said, taking a spot in the chair next to yours.

“How long was I out for?” You asked, taking a sip from your coffee. You hated the taste of hospital coffee, but the caffeine it contained had to do for now.

“Only half an hour,” he stated.

“You get any?” He shook his head. “You really need to get at least a little rest. We’re no help to Dean tired.”

Sam couldn’t help but agree, but he had the same mind set as you; he wanted to be awake when Dean woke up. “I’ll sleep when I know he’s okay,” he said, stubborn as he usually was.

When Dean finally woke, he didn’t really know where he was. But all he knew was that the lights were too bright for him. He struggled to keep his eyes open as he squinted, trying to adjust. “Fuck these lights are bright,” he said weakly.

You almost had wanted to laugh, hearing Dean say these words. The man had been out for the last few days and the first thing he had to comment on was the fucking brightness of the lights. But if you were being honest, it was pretty on brand for him. “Hey Sleepy Head,” you said, getting up from the hospital chair.

“Hey there Sweetheart,” he smiled. “Sam with you?”

“Yeah, just talking to one of the doctors,” you said. You took his hand and held it in yours, and all Dean could do was just stare at your face, admiring it like he was just seeing you for the first time.

“How long was I out?” He asked. “My head and stomach are fucking killing me.”

"A few days," you replied. "To be fair, you've been on pain killers pretty much the whole time and not a lot of actual food in your stomach."

"When we get out of here, can we go get a couple of cheeseburgers?" He asked, grinning at you.

"Of course we can," you smiled.

"So, I really fucked my body up bad this time uh?" He asked, letting out a small chuckle.

“If you call nearly killing yourself fucking up your body than yes,” you said, no humor in your voice. He could tell that you were pissed. “You know Dean, I love you, but you’re honestly the stupidest fucking person alive.”

“Love you too Sweetheart,” he grinned.

“I’m serious. I thought I fucking lost you for good this time. Me and Sam…” you took a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. There was no point in getting upset, no point in being mad at Dean. “We thought you were dead, dead this time.”

Dean looked at your face, hearing the sound of your voice, and it started to break his heart. He didn’t realize how much pain his actions had caused you and Sam over the course of the last few days. When he killed that vamp the way that he did, he wasn’t thinking about himself in that moment, wasn’t thinking about you or Sam. All he could think about was killing that vamp with the items that he had surrounding him. Being resourceful was one of his most useful and best qualities (at least he seemed to think so). “I’m sorry I scared you…and Sam.”

“It’s not your fault Dean I’m just…I was so fucking scared,” you felt yourself about to cry, but you didn’t want to tear up. “You and Sam are all I have left.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” he tried reassuring you, but he knew his words weren’t going to stick.

“But I almost did. And I can’t…I can’t have that again,” you said, your voice slightly shaking. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Can’t do what?” He was afraid to ask, hoping this wasn’t you cutting and running. But he wouldn’t blame you if you did. You deserved a far better life than what he could give you. And despite him loving you, he wanted you to be happy, even if it wasn’t with him.

“Hunting.” A wave of relief washed over Dean. “We’ve died so many fucking times. More than, more than anyone. And, I know as hunters we save people, save people from all the monsters in the world but, I’m tired. I’m tired of the constant moving. The constant fighting. The constant looking over my shoulder.” Like the Winchesters, hunting was the only life you had ever known, but having a life away from the monsters and demons was something that you had dreamed of. And it was a dream that you had pictured doing with Dean; it was something the two of you often talked about.

“Okay,” was all Dean said to your speech. He agreed with all of it, and you knew that he did, as having a life away from hunting was something you two often talked about. But neither of you ever thought that it would be possible for you, as this was really the only life either of you really knew. “As soon as I get out of here, we’re done. And done for good this time.”

Five Years Later…

The aroma of your homemade chicken noodle soup filled the air as you did another few stirs in the pot on the stove. You heard the front door open and close, and you smiled, quickly wiping your hands on your kitchen towel. “Honey we’re home!” Dean yelled, his voice cheerful as always.

“Mommy, mommy, mommy!” Your daughter yelled, her voice equally as joyful as her fathers as she ran to meet you in the kitchen.

Her arms opened up wide as you went down on your knees to greet her at her level, the two of you embracing each other. “Hi baby,” you smiled, kissing her on the top of the head.

“Hold me?” She asked, giving similar looking puppy dog eyes to that of her Uncle Sam’s.

“Always,” you said, picking her up in your arms. “How did you do at the doctors?”

“I was very brave,” she answered. She pointed to a sparkly strawberry sticker on her shirt. “The doctor gave me this because I did a really good job,” she said and then looked over at Dean. “Right daddy?”

“Bravest kid there,” he smiled. “Doctor even told her she’s her favorite patient.”

“Favorite patient uh?” You smiled. “Now that’s really something,” you said, giving her another kiss on her temple.

“Mom, after dinner can you and daddy tell me some more of those spooky stories?” Your daughter asked. You smiled, and so did Dean. The spooky stories that she was referencing were all of the hunts that you and Dean had been on throughout the years, but it was something that you never straight out told her (not yet at least, the both of you wanted to keep her as naive as long as possible). You never used either of your names, or Sam’s, you always changed the names, but these were stories that she had grown to love, and always expected a new one every single time. Thankfully, but not too thankfully, you and Dean were always able to tell her something new as the two of you had decades worth of hunts between you.

“Of course, what do you wanna hear about today?” Dean asked.

Your daughter thought for a moment, putting her thinking cap on until a lightbulb in her little head appeared; the biggest grin on her face. “Ghosts!”

You and Dean exchanged looks, almost thankful that she picked an easy topic for todays story. “How would you like to hear about the Van Ness House?” You asked her.

“It sounds spooky already!” She beamed.

Five years you and Dean, along with Sam and Eileen have been living the domestic life, none of you have hunted for the last five years. In all honesty, you were surprised that you and Dean had managed not to hunt, as hunting was something that the two of you had only known. When Dean told you five years ago that he was done with hunting for good because you said you were done, there was a part of you that didn’t believe him, as the last time he said he was done he got roped back in (which meant you got roped back in), when the both of you found out that Sam had returned from the pit.

But these last five years have been life changing for the both of you, as not only did the two of you have a beautiful daughter together, but you were happily married in addition to that — two things that neither of you ever thought would happen nor would ever be possible.

Tag List: @roseblue373 @beansproutmafia @queenie32 @deanwanddamons @missy420-0 @jackles010378 @mrsjenniferwinchester @syrma-sensei @k-slla @justletmereadfanfic @deans-daydream If you'd like to be added to a tag list, let me know!

[sundew199]

Angel

Tags: fluff?, no specific p/ns

He loves you. Cannot go a day without thinking of new ways to show his undying devotion to you. To him you were the balm to his weary soul, the calm after the storm and all things good that he himself wished to possess. At times he felt so unworthy of a love like yours, swearing it was meant for someone else, someone good and without a tainted soul that held the weight of his sins. Sins that no matter how many times he washed or prayed away, would cling to him like goo.

But you didn’t see his sins. Didn’t see the brutalities of a brainwashed twelve year old who sought approval from the people that drove him to his choices, you saw him. Just him. You saw the sunset in his golden irises when he’d look at you, the love embedded beneath shining through at a mere glance. He was just Reiner in your eyes and that was it. No honorary Marleyan, no armored titan, no shield of Marley, just Reiner.

There were times he hated that you loved him, because he was so undeserving of it. Your love could be poured into a better man, a man who didn’t waver at his own self deprecation, stood proud for who he was and what he’d achieved in his life. But you chose him didn’t you. And for whatever reason that was, Reiner may never know. He wanted to know deep down, what you saw in him, how you managed to remain by his side after everything he told you, because any sane person would leave. Though that wouldn’t be fair to assume about you, considering you were still here, by his side from the aftermath of it all. Maybe this were another cruel joke, working to get his hopes up only for it to be ripped away, it’d be a fair punishment for him.

You didn’t like the way he spoke about himself, hated how he couldn’t see the good in his heart, and how above all, it outweighed his past. Reiner understood that sentiment and toyed with whether he should work on getting better at how he saw himself or to let it fester. He would’ve if you didn’t cradle the side of his face so softly he felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes, the determination and belief you had in him to heal and recover. You wanted that for him, that’s all you ever wanted for him. Reiner deserved a second chance and to throw it away now were unfair to those who gave up theirs.

He’d never come close to deserving you, but he’d cherish you like one of the world greatest wonders. That’s all he could do, cherish and devote all the love that settle deep inside him tucked away for the sake of a mission years ago, until maybe one day he did deserve you. Because he wanted to feel worthy of your love, wanted to not second guess why he lived and the others didn’t, needed to hold and kiss you and never wonder if it would be for the last time. Reiner couldn’t have gotten as far as he did if it weren’t for you, so he’d be the stupidest man alive to throw it all away due to unhealed trauma. He’d work on that, first on his list that way his mind could roam with just thoughts of you, what all the future had in store later on down the line.

You were the angel with an out stretch hand pulling him from the water, wrapping your heavenly arms of comfort around his weary broken soul, fitting the prices back together one by one. If he were to ever understand why it was him and not anyone else, Reiner may refuse. He didn’t need all the answers, something he was learning as he lived on, even if temptation dangled dangerously on front of him. You were all he needed, the answer to all his questions.

Reiner would work to become a man deserving of your love and affection, a small repentance of his sins and appreciation for all you’d done when you didn’t have to. Because where would he be now if it weren’t for you? No where near the happiness he felt sitting with his arm around you, in a home he built for you, watching the sunset weave throughout the sky in departure for the night.

A/N note: Does this count as fluff? I feel like it does

[chaostroberry1]

Haii can you do a hcs of the Greek brothers (Zeus included but it's fine if you don't want to) to their S/O who is a mortal from the modern era?? I rllyy like your writing especially the Apollo's one ^^

Ofc! I'm sorry for the long wait 🙇‍♀️ I've been eating and rotting in my bed for a while. I dont really know about what you are requesting, there's only very little description. So I'll try my best ^^

RoR Greek bros with modern mortal s/o

Zues

- Mf is old as hell, literally. He'd be asking you all sorts of crap and wonder about the technology you have. He already knows about it, but he does like to stare and wonder what you do all day in that little rectangular piece of technology.

- He also tries to find ways to make you immortal, cus duh, he really likes you. But I think he'd be interested in cute little farm games online when you show him the stuff that you can do on your phone.

- he asks you to buy him a gadget, which you do so. but man, he sucks ass at it. You find him trying to figure out how to use it. Holding it upside down, pressing on all sorts of buttons until you have to lend me some help.

- he's also fond of the slangs and way you talk. He often uses your words too. Like "Lmfao!" Or "LOL!!"

- he wants to learn more about modern society, and everything there is to learn about. Until he found out about google. Mf now keeps on asking the stupidest questions, and even calls his brother's on facetime, just to talk to them about the stupidest shit.

- he'd laugh so loud when it comes to you telling him jokes from your TikTok brainrots and all.

- you talk to him about all the newest things happening, and all. And drama. But I think he's more interested in learning new words.

Adamas

- yes he does use the slangs too. I bet he'd randomly gangsta talk outta nowhere and make the most out of pocket statements.

- give him some love, he's just having fun especially after all the stuff he went through.

- I know damn well he makes yo mama jokes, no matter how old that stuff be. He's older than you bro, he's been alive for a very long time. So you better teach him more to mama jokes.

- your fashion sense was interesting, he wanna dress cool too. So he's gonna force you to show him clothes that he'd like to wear, and he'd pick the edgiest ones. 😭

- he often gets annoyed at how you're always on your phone and not paying attention to him, which makes him wonder what's so good about it.

- you gave him a gadget, which he now likes to watch anime in, or sports probably. Basically anything interesting.

Hades

- he finds you very endearing, and loves you very much. He'd find a way to turn you immortal so that he can care for you forever.

- yes he installed wifi in his place so that you could stay happy, and do whatever the hell you do on your gadgets.

- Bet you bought a TV and watched anime there with him, or maybe TV series or shows. Could even be horror movies. He loves to cuddle up with you whenever you guys watch a horror movie, cus he knows that he'll be the one to protect you when you get scared or tired.

- when you gave him a gadget, he didn't know what to use it for, but you said that he could chat with other people no matter where they at. And even store photos of whatever he wanted.

- it truly amazed him how far humanity had evolved. Now he can just search up anything he had questions about, or facetime his brother's, or buy something for you.

- he likes to listen to songs he finds, and now he's never really bored like he used to be. Maybe gadgets weren't so bad. He knows how to limit himself, and that's why he tries to limit it fro you too. He doesn't want your eyes to hurt, and wants you to get rest.

- there's so many things he wants to learn from you. And how humans do their daily thing. It's amusing to watch.

Poseidon

- Bro he really loves you a lot, he just doesn't show it. But it definitely caught his attention seeing the odd way you talked or acted.

- when you introduced him to a gadget, he just shook it off, not wanting to get into pathetic little things like that, but you insisted. So now there he was.

- he really thought that humans were babied. The fact that they all gotten so lazy over the centuries gave him the ick.

- but he did find some helpful words to use whenever it came to describing stuff. But that's till doesn't help with anything. Like y'all have google, you don't need to waste your time studying when you can just do a quick search and boom, all the answers are there.

- you guys had online shopping, you didn't need to use your legs to do some work when you could just order online. And so much more. Humanity was babied. Everyone was pathetic in his eyes.

- but, you were an exception. Cus he liked you lots.

- I believe that over time, he'd catch himself talking like you, like "it gives me the ick." 💀

- he's such a bitch, but it's ok. Cus it's Poseidon.

[kaiserposting]

Michael Kaiser — Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy

PAIRING: Michael Kaiser/Reader WORD COUNT: 1.3k TYPE: Angst, Post-break up WARNING(S): Don't read if you're sensitive to medical stuff, also tw for KAISER-TYPICAL MELODRAMA

“Are you fucking kidding me? That just sounds made up.”

“Sir,” the doctor, who’s been having to deal with Kaiser acting like the hospital is a debate club for the past fifteen minutes, says. Then he lets out a sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose. In all honesty, he does not want to deal with this. “While there’s an existing argument about the classification of broken heart syndrome, it is a real thing that happens. And you have it as we’ve deduced.”

“I don’t have health problems,” Kaiser says. Of course, those words fly out of his mouth without trouble even when Ness had to call an ambulance on him and everything, since he looked like he was on the brink of death today at practice. “Much less from bullshit reasons like a broken heart.”

“You don’t need to take it literally. That’s just the name. The trigger for the stress varies from case to case.”

Kaiser hopes his defensive statement didn’t reveal anything too personal, and decides to throw off any suspicion by staring down at his lap while frowning like a kid who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. At least the doctor doesn’t seem to care because he’s not prying for unnecessary details. Not yet, anyway.

“For how long have you been ignoring the symptoms?”

“I haven’t been ignoring anything,” Kaiser says.

Sure, he was dizzy a few (many) times and short of breath, and disregarded it. And while he can sense the tightness and pain in his chest each time, a recurring physical and tangible ache, Kaiser interprets the experience as some kind of metaphor for the figurative stabbing he was a victim of. The arrhythmia is a natural indignant response to whenever your irritating face pops up in his imagination, since you’re the perpetrator.

All this over some shitty break up. While it’s stupid for someone whose career is in sports to shrug off such obvious signs, until today Kaiser never truly thought it was serious enough to warrant such an overreaction from his body. You shouldn’t have this much power over him. He’s going to kill you next time he sees you for doing this to him.

He’s deep in denial and the grave he’s been digging with his stupid lies is shallow in contrast, inefficient. Can’t even deceive himself.

“It’s most common in people over fifty.”

Kaiser rolls his eyes. “Thanks. I really needed to hear that.”

“What I’m saying is, I assume you’ve been ignoring this for some time and it escalated to a bad attack. So, do you recall if you’ve gone through severe stress recently? Anything traumatizing even, either physically or mentally? When was it? If you could be exact, that’d be helpful.”

Traumatizing? Traumatizing? Is this man fucking kidding him right now?

Kaiser stares at the doctor as if he’s the stupidest person alive. Forget a person, he is a bug for such a suggestion. Through grit teeth, he relents, “There was something two weeks ago. By the way, it wasn’t traumatizing! That’s ridiculous.”

What’s even more absurd is the notion Kaiser wouldn’t know how much time has passed with perfect accuracy. Fourteen days he hasn’t been sleeping well, hugging his pillow and crying like a loser, cursing you, wanting you back, both a worshipper and a heretic.

What was he feeling at that moment, when you broke things off? Was it overwhelming anger which got him to this point? Though he’s been reliving the moment over and over, Kaiser still can’t identify it. Just something intense zapping him through his veins, a devastating shock, a surge of adrenaline. But surely it was resentment at your audacity to throw him away like disposable trash? He doesn’t like the thought that he’s been so pathetically sad, he got sick because of it, so this is what he’ll go with.

Thinking about it is enough to make him start picking at the skin on his neck like he’s trying to peel the ink off. It’s almost vile. At least he retains the common sense not to squeeze it in front of a medical professional who can send him away to a psych ward with ease.

The doctor, too, looks at Kaiser like he is an insane person. Good thing they pay him enough for this — otherwise, he doesn’t know how he’d deal with having a strange man with a bizarre haircut give him attitude over his diagnosis when it should be reserved for his barber or whoever is responsible.

“Two weeks ago, okay,” he says, writing it down. “Lucky for you, this is temporary and reversible unlike most other things we checked you for. You’ll be fine in about two months with the treatment.”

“So, like I thought, it’s not a big deal. I can still play football, right? Don’t need to lay off or anything?” Kaiser asks.

The doctor sighs. Again. He wants to measure the circumference, thickness and density of Kaiser’s skull. “You’re not listening,” he says, clearly exasperated, but still trying to exert patience. “Your heart is weak and not functioning properly at the moment. You can’t immediately jump back into living the way you usually do. It’s still serious no matter what you say and it can cause complications.”

Kaiser makes an annoyed expression like this is all one big inconvenience rather than a threat to his quality of life. “Are you serious? You’ve got to be shitting me.”

“I’m honored you seem to think I’m a hilarious comedian, sir, since this is your nth time asking, but it’s not the case,” he says levelly.

“Don’t get clever with me.”

A sharp inhale through the nose and the doctor’s back on track, maintaining a feeble grasp on his inner peace, at least enough not to snap. Then, after this brief recollection, he reaches out to grab something, then holds it up. It’s a picture that looks either like an abortion-to-be or a black and white photo of lasagna… maybe. “This is your heart.”

Kaiser almost forgot about the ultrasound or whatever since he was strung out and sedated- relaxed throughout that whole ordeal. At the sight of it now, always theatrical, he decides the best course of action is to wrinkle his nose and say ‘eww,’ even though he’s not squeamish. But treating the matter seriously means admitting he has a problem, and he can’t have that.

The doctor pretends he can’t hear anything and points at the relevant area with his finger to illustrate the crux of the matter better. “You have apical ballooning. Do you get it? Even if it’s temporary, you can’t treat it lightly. So-”

Kaiser tunes out the rest of the explanation. Blah, blah, he could harm himself, very original. His gaze is stuck on the echocardiogram, though, and this time he’s nauseous for real, the tiniest bit. It strikes him as particularly ugly and deformed. Organs are repulsive to begin with, anyway, but this… thing is his, and he’s seeing it now. In any case, nothing so disgusting is worth loving or treating with care.

Is this how you’ve come to see him? What does Kaiser look like in your eyes? Ugly and maladjusted on the inside? Someone who likes laughing at other people’s misery, but can’t take even the slightest puncture? So out of touch with his emotions — and of his own volition —, he’s started experiencing them in the most visceral way possible. His desire for you: torment, a disease.

Would you find him dramatic? Maybe, but at least you’d make him laugh and smile and anything else his troubled mind has decided he needs at the moment, from you alone. Doesn’t matter, though. He’s not privy to that kind of thing, not anymore.

There’s a sting in his eyes and Kaiser wipes away his tears with a hasty swipe, though a few more stream down his cheeks. He doesn’t even know what he’s crying about again.

The doctor observes the display with the distanced apathy of someone who’s watched people die and shit themselves.

He gets discharged with a prescription and elaborate instructions on how to go about his physical activities until it’s deemed he’s fully healed at the later check-ups.

Great. Pitiful.

___

What's funny is that Y/n's probably having a good day while all this is going on

[akai-akai]

this is all over the place I'm sorry, but bear with me.

"suave, intimidating lieutenant simon" "quiet war-hardened mysterious simon"— NO

Simon Riley is a DORK.

Like imagine this big ass war-weathered 6'4 lieutenant who weighs over 200 pounds and has the build of a Spartan and a downright terrifying reputation. He's all aloof and intimidating and unapproachable and then at the most random of times, he rattles off the stupidest pun ever and just... Pretends nothing happened. Continues his day while some poor recruit is left wondering what the fuck that interaction meant.

Give me Simon Riley who mulls over which corny line to say in that subtle thinks-he's-the-funniest-man-alive tone. Does that dumb little ₕᵤₕ ₕᵤₕ ₕᵤₕ when he's especially proud of the fuckery that just came from his mouth. Then gives a look that says "they'll never believe you" and walks off.

And when he has his mask off when it's just him and the boys, he gets this little quirk in his lips as he comes up with a new one and gets ready to deliver it. And if he receives an equally hilarious unbearable one back, his lips will stretch into a rare, crooked downturned smile, a tiny flash of his teeth— barely noticeable— showing through a small part in his lips, where scarring has given them an irregular shape and they don't quite seal together.

Or sometimes (usually) he'll receive an exasperated, agonized groan from Johnny, and his nose will scrunch slightly, eyes crinkling and the corners of his lips twitch, and he's so satisfied with himself that Johnny can't even be mad.

Other times, it'll be with a completely straight face, voice devoid of all emotion as he spells out yet another twisted pun and Johnny pinches the bridge of his nose and wonders what the hell is going through Simon's mind when he says shit like this. ("this one's great, I should say it. I'm gonna say it. I'm saying it.")

Johnny is his usual victim, and occasionally Kyle, so they're somewhat used to it, but the first time he drops one of these on the captain???

John thinks he's lost his fucking marbles and later checks Simon's file to make sure he didn't have any flags in any recent military-mandated therapy appointments or psyche-evals.

Johnny and Simon will be quietly coexisting together, like sitting in Simon's barracks while Simon does his tedious post-mission paperwork and Johnny attempts to nap on Simon's bed. Except he can't fucking nap because as soon as he begins to drift off, Simon's clearing his throat and Johnny just fucking knows it's coming.

"Don't," he'll try to say, but Simon's already opened his mouth to speak, it's happening.

"What do you call kids in the military?" No response. "......Infantry."

Johnny promptly stuffs Simon's pillow over his head, huffs, and considers chucking the pillow at the other man's thick skull.

NSFW:

When there's finally a moment of privacy and Johnny is balls deep and patiently waiting for Simon to give the go-ahead to move, but then Simon pauses and catches Johnny's eyes and Johnny will give him a "please no" expression, but then Simon's lips twitch and his mouth opens and— Oh, oops! Sorry Simon, Johnny didn't mean to move his hips like that and ruin your definitely-hilarious joke and replace it with such a scandalous sound.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

he's so funny I love him. this is probably out of character to some people, but it just scratches my brain.

[lemonhemlock]

what are they doiiiing, man

The more I believed I wasn't a book puritist, the more this show is trying to make me one because what are they doing?

Everything is inconsistent from episode to episodo and from season to season, like they're not even trying to make it believable

The only good thing is fr Daemon plot and this does shock me because I wouldn't have believed it before lol

And they're kind of making me feel angry about the green (alicent the most, because what are you doiiing? Not even on a book!alicent point, but from the same shows, she is always something different and it's humiliating really)

Idk, i try to take all with a light heart but... it's still able to make me quite mad

And sorry for all the typos and errors, I'm in a rush dhsjal

i mean it's a really disappointing season

i've said it before in my critiques, we can argue all day about characterisation (maybe some actually see aemond as an emotionless psycho, maybe some actually buy that alicent would sell out her own sons for rhaenyra), but there is little to no buildup for these HUGE changes and they don't even make sense in the context of the story. the greens are so, so emotionally flat and one-note melancholy with stunted dynamics. if they don't give a shit about each other, why and even HOW could the audience? where is the tragedy? ok, you want to make those changes from the books and create completely different versions of these characters: you have to make me believe it, man. you have to put in the work.

but these writers don't even understand the politics of the world they are inhabiting. they're not fixing any plot holes from the books, they're creating more. how the heck is house hightower JUST fine with having TWO members of their family dismissed in quick succession from the small council? who is financing this war? uncle hobert should be writing angry letters to aemond demanding appropriate reparations or else the hightower armies go back to oldtown. if they are not going to advance their own interests further as a house, why are they fighting this pointless war? tyland lannister should have given aemond some lip back for his attitude since house lannister has resources (i.e. armies, ships and gold) that aemond needs. these people have power! we've already seen the riverlords take no shit from daemon and he has a dragon too!

i've said this already to our dear @stannisfactions, so i'm gonna repeat myself here, but if alicent somehow became convinced that aemond was so off the rails he was going to get helaena killed................ there are ways around that that DON'T involve selling out your entire family to rhaenyra (certainly your male relatives, even the ones who didn't do a damn thing to you, like your brother, your uncle, your cousins, YOUR OTHER SON (THE NICE ONE), who are only following YOUR lead at the end of the day, because YOU put aegon on the throne and told them to mobilize forces and declare for him and now rhaenyra will see them all as traitors.

has everyone forgotten how to stage a castle coup? i know vhagar is big and scary, but she's parked way outside KL and aemond is just one man who was NOT shown to hustle for his own connections and personal network of friends. smack him in the damn head and throw his ass in jail!! tell everyone else the now-conscious KING aegon told you to! alicent was ruling queen for many years, it makes no sense for her not to have her own resources and courtiers who could help her do this.

can you imagine joffrey baratheon, surrounded by lannister guards loyal to and paid by tywin lannister, whose war is financed by the lannisters, dismissing tywin or cersei (or even tyrion) from his small council? are you laughing yet? why doesn't alicent have her own private army of hightower guards loyal to HER? unless you want (and need) her to be the stupidest person alive so that you can write your rhaenicent fanfic 🤌

they want to humiliate alicent so much to „punish” her for ~choosing the patriarchy~ instead of her bff rhaenyra and girl power. it's such an overdone storyline. other shows, books, media have done it to death, why is it in my dragon show, too? she can't have been a competent regent for viserys and not know how to do these things or not have acquired the resources to do them if necessary. how can she be both competent and incompetent when the plot requires it? it's giving wanting to still have the cake after eating it and throwing it into outer space

[thebreakfastgenie]

Not to keep Dooming but... I think this current political era does prove to an extent that democracy is nation-building on Very Hard mode, because after a certain period of prosperity your population will develop a number of people willing to burn it all down out of boredom and spite. You can't just execute or jail or disenfranchise these people on principle, because then you're no better than Russia or China. But what are you going to do if every 4-8 years they decide to hurl the entire country toward the closest cliff for fun?

Yeah man. Democracy is a system where you have to convince the stupidest people alive to let you do things for the common good. But you know:

This gets quoted as a snarky quip sometimes but it’s true! Democracy is hard. I believe it’s worth it. I had a campaigns and elections class the day after the 2016 election and my professor told us liberal democracy was in more danger than at any point since WWII. I’ve often wondered what he said about this year.

Democracy is nation-building on very hard mode! But it’s not hopeless!

[lovelovelovelovelove987654321]

His Knight In Shining Armor

Simon doesn't quite think this is real. You. Him. The warmth. Doesn't quite understand how he can touch you without hurting you. Yet, at the same time, not hurting you is the only thing he understands. He would rather be buried alive- again-, would rather be surrounded by the rot and death that is his brain forever than lift a finger towards you. You are his everything. His sun, his moon, his rock, his ocean tides. Everything he does is governed by the push and pull of your mere existence. 

“Time izzit?” You asked oh, so sleepily, lips pressed against his throat, nose tucked under his jaw. “Time for you to go back to sleep.” And with a small huff, you do. He still marvels at that, you know. The way you trust him so much, that you take everything that comes from his mouth as truth. The way you feel safe enough around him to just close your eyes and sleep. Near him. The monster, the demon, the husk of a human being, the creature made up of the shreds of humanity left on the battlefields once the corpses have been dragged away. The thing that can't bear to look in the mirror because what he sees there shouldn't be allowed to roam the earth. Not in broad daylight, at least. Him.

Yet you just saw a man. A closed off, emotionally unavailable, stubborn man, but a man all the same. He’d surreptitiously ask what your eye scores were after every time you went to the doctor, because maybe you were hallucinating, just a little. A lot. Because how could you see anything worthy of love in him? 

He knew that, in the conventional western view, his body was attractive. He hated this body. It works, and that's good. But he hated how it accompanies him everywhere he went. He wished he could become a fleck of dust, maybe, be breathed in by you and settle in your lungs, listen to your heartbeat for the next several centuries. 

When he looked at his hands, he saw them dripping with dirt-thickened blood. When he saw his legs, he saw them broken and bruised. When he saw his feet, he saw the harbingers of all the death that followed him. When he saw his arms, he saw simply tools of war. When he saw his torso, his chest, he saw Roba. He saw the organs that should have done the word a favor by failing him long ago. He saw the heart he could no longer feel beating. When he saw his face, he saw no trace of the man he might have become. Instead, he sees a machine. 

When he sees his scars- oh, when he sees his scars- he sees the evidence of death and pain and hate and despair that surrounded him everywhere he went. He saw nothing deserving of life. 

But you. You.

When you saw his hands, you saw the hands you held when you were happy or scared. You saw the hands that had caressed you so gently, so lovingly. You saw the hands that had picked you flowers and given you gifts and brushed your hair from your face. (“I love your hands,” You’d told him once, twice, a million times.) When you saw his hands, you saw love.

And that gave him hope.

When you saw his legs, you saw the legs that had tangled with yours as you slept. The legs that took up room on the sofa, the legs that cracked and popped every time he stretched. You saw the legs that got humped by your best friend's dog, the legs that had run to catch up with you at the carnival and the supermarket and the park and the campground and everywhere else you had ever been. When  you saw his legs, you saw love. And that gave him hope.

When you saw his feet, you saw the feet that had tickled yours in the pool, the feet that had gotten buried under the sand at the beach, that wore the stupidest shoes you'd ever seen. You saw freckles and pale skin (“They look a bit like dead fish, Si!” You’d once said as you laughed.) You saw the bad circulation and wool socks and too-long nails. When you saw his feet, you saw love. 

And that gave him hope.

When you saw his arms, you saw the arms that had kept you warm on cold nights. The arms that had held you safe as you watched movies. The arms that had kept you together, had kept you from breaking apart, when you had laughed and cried and everything in between. You saw the arms that reached things on shelves that you couldn't, the arms that were strong enough to lift you up and twirl you around. When you saw his arms, you saw love.

And that gave him hope. 

When you saw his torso, his chest, you saw the solid plane of flesh that you leaned on for support. You saw the dips and curves, all perfect places for you to rest your head. You saw the weighted blanket you used him as. You saw the lungs that breathed in your laughter and smiles 24/7/365. You saw the heartbeat that kept you on track, reminded you that it would all be okay. You saw the organs that kept Simon alive. When you saw his torso, you saw love. 

And that gave him hope. 

When you saw his face, you saw the smiles he reserved only for you. You saw the eye crinkles, the nose scrunches. You saw the lip quirks and the dimples and and the beautiful brown eyes that housed the soul of your beloved. You saw the pale eyelashes, the under-eye bags, the smattering of extra pigmentation that were scattered across the bridge of his nose. You saw the furrowed brows and the crows feet. You saw his laugh and his voice and his whispers and his hums. When you saw his face, you saw love. 

And that gave him hope. 

When you saw his scars- oh, when you saw his scars. You saw his pain, yes. You saw the gruesome stories that were carved into his skin. You saw the death and the blood and the hatred that had imprinted itself in his very being. 

But.

You also saw the proof of how much he loved you. You saw the saga of his love, the confirmation that, no matter what, he would come back home to your arms. You saw perfect trails  to follow with your lips, the perfect places to press caring kisses now and then. You saw silly shapes of animals and constellations and plants and boats and maps of make-believe kingdoms. You saw everything that he was, everything he had done. When you saw his scars, you saw love. 

And that gave him hope.

Hope that he could be a better man. Hope that he could keep you safe and happy forever. Hope that, one day, he might be worthy of your love. Hope that maybe he could be something more than just the sum of his parts. Hope that, perhaps, your goodness might seep into his pores and infect him. Hope.

[cranberry-writes]

How Ted Lasso Characters would react to PDA!

Characters; Ted, Rebecca, Keeley, and Roy

Warnings; None, but i don’t know how british people act or talk so this may be a bit OOC

Ted Lasso:

-This man is the definition of a gentleman

-He probably won’t do much PDA next to handholding or cheek kissing unless you make the first move

-He’s all about making sure you feel comfortable

-You don’t feel like hugging right now? That’s okay! Do you want some tea? Coffee?

-I’d imagine he’d left something at home and you’d stop by the club to drop it off, he’d kiss you on the cheek and thank you for being so kind

-Definitely uses a pet name like “Sugar” or “Darlin”

-You kiss him on the lips and wish him a good day before leaving

-He’ll have the stupidest smile on his face for the rest of the day, if anyone asks why he’ll say something like “I’m the luckiest man alive, that’s all.”

Rebecca Welton

-She would be TERRIFIED about bringing you into the media’s attention

-She knows what it’s like to be picked apart and belittled by the media for no reason other than who she was dating and would do anything to make sure it didn’t happen to you

-Might hold your hand, probably won’t to much more than that in public.

-(In private she loves to hug, kiss, cuddle, everything)

-One day she leaves the house to go do something and you pull her in and kiss her goodbye, but before she leaves you tell her that you’d love to go public about your relationship

-She’s nervous, she tells you how draining it can be

-You don’t care, you want to be able to kiss your lovely girlfriend after a game or hug her at work

-She’s still minimal for PDA compared to others but she still hugs and kisses you on the cheek when ever she can <3

-Extra; Calls you “Darling” or “My love”, and if english isn’t your first language you bet she’ll call you a pet name in your mother tongue.

Keeley Jones;

-She LOVES PDA, she’ll almost always be holding your hand, hugging you, something

-Still super respectful if you aren’t super big on PDA

-If you also love PDA then expect her to never leave your side

-She won’t get risky or anything like that, but she just loves to show off how much y’all love each other

-Sometimes wears your clothes out in public

-Calls you “Babe” or “hot-stuff”

-At her office and you want to surprise her, when you see her she has her back facing you.

-You slowly walk up behind her before hugging her and kissing her on the cheek, she makes a noise then quickly starts laughing when she realizes it’s you

-“Babes! I love you but some warning would be nice.”

-Overall she’s just super nice n sweet :)

Roy Kent

- Not to big on PDA, while he will rest his hand on your waist (or vise versa) or hold your hand, he dosnt do much out side of that

- with one exception

-this man is jealous, and gets jealous fairly easily.

- some random person starts flirting with you? Roy will be all over you for the rest of the night

- Roy may seem kinda cold but he does love to show you affection, ask him to give you a massage or cuddle and he’ll do it in a heartbeat.

- Just like Ted he’s all about making sure you feel comfortable, literally anything you need, he’ll do it.

- If you initiate PDA he might be caught off guard, but he’ll recover fast

- You’re at the pub one night, celebrating a win with the team and the rest of the club. Right as Roy gets up to grab another round of drinks you pull him down and give him a heavy kiss

- when you pull back he looks shocked for maybe a second, he’ll quickly get a smile on his face and say something british smart-assish like “You cheeky fucker.”

- He’s a sweet ass that’s a bit protective