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eppysboys · 1 year ago

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Sam Leach and Joan McEvoy's Engagement Party, 17th March 1962 🕺💃

Earlier in the evening, The Beatles performed at the Village Hall in Knotty Ash, Liverpool. The evening was billed as a "St. Patrick's Night Rock Gala". Sam Leach, (Liverpool concert booker) booked The Beatles and Rory Storm and The Hurricanes to draw a big crowd so that he could make enough profits to pay for his engagement party, scheduled to follow the night's show. Both bands attended Leach's party, which didn't end until the following afternoon. Also present at the party was Mike McCartney, Paul's girlfriend Dorothy 'Dot' Rhone, Brian Epstein, Bob Wooler and Ted 'Kingsize' Taylor.

In his book Sam Leach has a distinct memory of 'a gang of us' (presumably including Beatles and Hurricanes) travelling to the party from Knotty Ash in a van. Their driver (not Neil Aspinall) pulled out from the Village Hall into the path of a speeding articulated lorry which seemed to have appeared from nowhere. Everyone braced themselves for the inevitable impact but miraculously the lorry, its brakes screeching hysterically, managed to stop less than a foot from the side of the van. Shocked, stunned, shaken and stirred, everyone in the van travelled the 1.5 miles to the party in complete silence.

Hurricane Johnny 'Guitar' Byrne diary entry for 1962 mentions the party:

"Bought Zodiac. Knotty Ash, Orrell, then Sam Leach's engagement party. Had row with Eileen. Got home 6."

The party was at the family house in Huyton, thrown by Dolly, mother of Vera and Joan McEvoy.

"I can vouch for the fact that Brian fell in love with Vera and pursued her all night. In fact after the party he wrote more than one letter to Dolly asking her could she help him fix a date with Vera. Unfortunately for Brian she wasn't interested." Sam Leach (She seemed a little interested, as displayed below)

"Brown, who was married (but separated) at the time of her liaison with Epstein in 1962, describes him as "...very emotional. He always gave the impression of being cold and icy, but he was very softhearted, very tender, very gentle, and he had a lot of feelings. And he was all man, I don't care what they say." (Ray Coleman, The Man Who Made The Beatles)

"We’d been to the Knotty Ash Club for my sister’s engagement. The Beatles had played there, as did Rory [Storm] and a few other groups. Afterwards, as usual, we all went back to the house and Brian came along.

If you saw the Beatles in my mother’s they were just a scruffy bunch of boys. And who’d look at them? I wouldn’t bother with them but then Brian stood out and Brian looked like the real thing. He was handsome. He was tall. He was immaculate. That’s why I let Brian get behind the bar with me and help me serve the drinks. He was the best of the bunch.

So we were just behind the bar when Elvis came on, 'Heartbreak Hotel’. He loved it, I loved it, and we started dancing. There wasn’t much room. You know, you could go two steps forward, three steps back and that was it. So we sort of got a bit close and everyone was laughing at us, saying, like, 'What’s going on?’ But if you moved sideways you fell over the crates. There were crates of beer in there and everybody’s coats. We ended up on top of the coats or on top of the crates if we just moved the wrong way. And we got pretty close but I wasn’t surprised by the way he was acting towards me.

We were dancing and kissing at the same time. He was probably one of the sexiest fellas I had ever met. People say, 'Oh well, Brian was gay.’ but he wasn’t very gay with me. He was just like any other man and more. He was very easy-going and casual and funny. He’d make you laugh and he could dance. You know he could move. He said to me, 'I’ve seen you in different places and I thought you were stuck up.’ And I said, 'Well, I thought you were stuck up because I remember being in your shop and you were like the big boss.’

I think he was pretty fresh. In a house where people are looking at you it’s not like a club with all the lights out and people tend to be aware of others but Brian wasn’t that bothered. He was interested and he showed it. Maybe he’d had a bit too much to drink. I don’t know. But I can’t say that because I met Brian afterwards and he was still interested.

The next day he called round to the house. I wasn’t there so he talked to my mother about poetry. I don’t know how they got talking about poems but Brian came the following day with a book of poems for my mother with a little letter. He also gave her a letter thanking her for having the party because everyone had made such a terrible mess of the house. It was full of eggs and rubbish and bottles everywhere and he apologized for the actions of everybody else at the party.

Well, my mother just thought he was the most wonderful person in the world. At last a gentleman has come through this door and not Teddy boys and hooligans and all the rest of it. In the first letter he said he’d enjoyed meeting her, loved coming to the house, felt so welcome and would she mind if he came around again to see me. I said to my mum, 'Well, that’s impossible. How can I see him? You know I can’t go out with Brian.’ She said, 'You will have to’.

My mother was in love with Brian: 'He’s beautiful. He’s wonderful.’ So she sort of arranged it. I didn’t want him to come and pick me up at the house because I didn’t want people to see us going out. I arranged to meet him in a little cafe in Bold Street. We had a coffee and a chat and then I can’t really remember where we went. We went somewhere for a drink around Bold Street where there were all these little dives at the time. But I had to be back for nine o'clock. Another time I met him in the Tower and we had a little chat. We met in the back office and had a talk.

I liked Brian as a man and I think Brian liked me. But then he suggested if we were to go out we’d have to go to Southport or Manchester - anywhere out of Liverpool because he didn’t want to walk into my husband in Liverpool. We were separated at the time but it was a little bit awkward, you know.

It’s hard for me to believe Brian was gay. I think if I had been free and if I’d seen more of Brian I think we could have got serious. I think he was all man. I just can’t accept that he was gay.

In the shop Brian seemed like a man, like your dad shouting at you and superior. He had an attitude of superiority. But later on I discovered he was just like any other man. I thought he was a very passionate, loving person. He was like two different people. So if there’s a third person involved - this gay person - I just say he’s one hell of a man to be able to please everybody. You know, he was just unique. That’s all I can say." Vera Brown, In His Life, The Brian Epstein Story.

"George always fancied Joan and when I began dating her, he asked her to let him know when she finished seeing me. 'But don't tell Sam', he added. 'He’d batter me!' Today she probably feels like battering me for spoiling her chances." Sam Leach, The Rocking City

"Later in the evening, Joan had a headache and said she was going upstairs for a lie down. I went to fetch a couple of aspirins from the kitchen and said I'd follow her. Bob Wooler then made a typically cheap remark about pre-marital sex. Before I had a chance to sort him out, Paul and George grabbed him and made him personally apologise to Joan." Sam Leach, The Rocking City

"Rory Storm was lying on the floor hopelessly drunk. He shouted up to Paul, 'I wanna be in the picture'. So, as you can see, Paul bent down and lifted his foot into the shot." Sam Leach

"The night rolled on and I found Lennon, completely sloshed, sitting in the kitchen rolling raw eggs down Ann Barton's birds-nest hairstyle. Each time one broke, he gave a gasp of astonishment at the gooey yellow mess spreading across the tiled floor. Dolly found out and gave him a severe rollicking, which sobered him up enough to utter a sincere, 'Sorry, Mrs Mac'. Everyone liked and respected Dolly McEvoy and that was the only time I ever saw Lennon genuinely humbled. He disappeared for a while after that and was found later fast asleep in the bath.

When he finally came downstairs, he once again started to apologise. Dolly had forgotten all about it, but he was still apologising as he left at nine the next morning. As we stood outside, he shook my hand gravely. 'That was the very best party I've ever been to . . . honest,' he croaked. I was pleased everyone had enjoyed themselves, but when John started thanking me for a third time, I put him in a taxi and packed him off home. As he left, I slipped an egg into his pocket. He never did tell me how that hatched out." Sam Leach, The Rocking City

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jfleamont · 1 year ago

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Hello! For the Beatles prompts… “Treat me like you did the night before” for Jily, please? 👀

Aaah thank you! This one could get spicy 👀

The common room was packed, filled to the brim with students celebrating the beginning of the Christmas break; the train was set to leave the following morning, and everyone was busy saying goodbye.

Most of the Seventh Years had opted for staying, and James was one of them. It took him a solid minute to find Lily among the crowd: she was in the middle of a conversation with a young boy, no older than thirteen.

“Evans? Can I steal you for a second? I just wanted to run some ideas by you.”

Lily, of course, had seen him approach; she turned to him slowly, almost as if she was annoyed by the interruption.

But he knew she wasn't.

“It's about Head stuff,” he added, smiling apologetically at the young boy.

“Conor, do you mind if we talk later?”

“Sure, don't worry! I'll try your method and I'll let you know,” he replied and waved them goodbye.

James stepped closer to her, unable to keep his distance. They were in public, but no one was paying them any attention. He could get away with it.

“What method?” he asked nonchalantly.

Lily shrugged. “He had some questions about Potions, I helped him out. Now, what did you want to talk about? Head stuff, you say?”

The smile that was tugging at her lips was driving him crazy.

“You know I didn't mean it that way.”

She tilted her head, feigning confusion. “Oh, do I?”

You'd think that someone who wanted to keep things secret would try to be more subtle.

James cleared his throat and looked around the room, not because he was afraid of getting caught, but because her eyes alone were doing things to him. “Can we go somewhere else?”

“You can tell me here.”

He raised an eyebrow as if to say really?, but she merely smiled.

“Alright. You're leaving tomorrow, right?”

She nodded.

“And do you remember the last match?”

Lily's eyes widened, and she was instantly aware of what he was asking her. “You were very nervous,” she murmured, “at least at first.”

“Yeah, turns out that a good night's sleep does wonders,” he replied, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, “along with some other things.”

Lily visibly shuddered. “Oh?”

“I want you to treat me like you did the night before.”

She grabbed his wrist, squeezing it gently. The wicked smile on her face was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.

He couldn't believe his luck.

“Well, I am leaving tomorrow. Would be a shame not to say goodbye properly.”

James smiled triumphantly. “A right shame.”

#beatles prompt game #jfleamont rambles #jily #james potter #lily evans #jple #this was fun!!!#asks #beatles drabbles

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vivi-in-the-sky-with-diamonds · 2 years ago

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What Goes On In Your Heart? (MedStudent!reader x Paul)

(Photo by Linda McCartney <3 also to note, I personally imagined 1964ish Paul in this but you can imagine whatever you like since it really has no impact on the story lol anyway, I chose this photo for *ahem* reasons)

This wasn't my original post plan (especially given I was due to post yesterday, oops) but I remembered I wrote this a couple weeks ago and thought I'd post it instead! It's heavily inspired by this post by @mysweetgeo (not connected but you should read theirs first because I said so /hj) and my stupid amount of knowledge on the cardiac system (thanks, autism!). That said, that hyperfixation was awhile ago, though I did research while writing it, but if anything is inaccurate, let me know and I'll make changes! Originally written with a specific character in mind, but changed to be a fem!reader, so if there are any remnants of her written Scouse accent, please ignore lol. Proofed in UK English, like all of my Beatles fics. Anyway, enjoy c:

CW: light nudity, brief sex joke (can tag if needed)

I walk into the bedroom I share with Paul. “Paul?” He hums a response as he continues flipping through the book he’s reading. “I have an exam coming up tomorrow, and I was wondering if you could help me study.”

He sets his book down. “’course I can. Not sure how much help I’ll be in your field, though.”

I giggle. “That’s alright. I mainly just need you as a dummy.” I stop before saying, “Not a dummy, like a mannequin!”

Paul chuckles. “I dunno. I fit the dummy quite well.”

I slap him playfully. “You do not! Er, could you strip to your pants for me? Professional reasons only!”

He smirks as he does as told. “What exam could you possibly have that needs me like this?”

“Exam on the cardiovascular system. Well, it’s less of an exam and more of a project. I’m supposed to give a cardio exam to someone I know and report the results,” I answer. “I’m gonna be using my stethoscope, alright?”

“Whatever you need, love.”

I straddle him—only because it’s the easiest position for what I’m doing—before beginning my run-through. “Right, so first I’m supposed to check a bunch of things; make sure you don’t have cyanosis or oedema or things like that.”

He chuckles. “I dunno what any of that means but I put my trust in you.”

I laugh slightly. “Well, you’re not blue, pale, or swollen and you’re breathing fine so that part’s finished.”

I run through the rest of the visual things very quickly. “Alright, now, give me your wrist, please.” He follows my directions. “Ninety. Interesting.”

As I write the number down, he asks, “Is there somethin’ I should know about that number?”

“’s normal, if that’s what you’re asking,” I reply. “Well, a bit high but still in normal range. Something on your mind?”

“Oh, no,” he answers sarcastically. “Just watchin’ my bird straddle me, stethoscope round her neck, lookin’ like the sexiest doctor I’ve ever seen.

I blush slightly. “Shut up! Can I have your other wrist, please?” I feel for a moment before saying, “Okay, good, that’s in sync. Right arm, please.”

“Aren’t you gonna explain any of what you’re doin’?” he asks, giving me his arm. “Most patients, includin’ me, don’t have a clue what you’re up to.”

I blush. “Right, I forgot that part. Alright, what I just did was check your pulse and made sure it was synced in both arms. Now, I’m checking your pulse in a different spot.”

He chuckles as he watches me. “How many times are you gonna check it?”

I stick my tongue out. “Well, I only had two more, but now you’ve earned a third, since you wanna ask stupid questions.”

He pouts. “That’s no fair.”

I roll my eyes with a smirk. “Bollocks, where have I left my— oh, it’s right here.” Paul chuckles at me as I continue, “Blood pressure. Checking it in both arms. Professor said lying and standing aren’t both required so we’ll just do lying.”

“I don’t like that thing,” he whines as I strap on my blood pressure cuff.

“You’ll be alright,” I reply. “’sides, you agreed to this, didn’t ye?”

He pouts again. “That was before I knew it entailed all this.”

“Keep quiet, I can’t hear!”

A look of pure sarcasm covers his face.

“126/80.” I write the number down as I continue, “A bit high but normal, to match that ‘a bit high but normal’ pulse you’ve got. Gonna check the other arm now.”

“How do you even know what you’re listenin’ for?” he asks when I finish the other arm.

“Identical,” I murmur to myself before saying, “Come here.” I strap the cuff around my own arm and situate my stethoscope. “I’m gonna squeeze the cuff. You’re gonna hear a thump, alright? That’s what you’re listening for.”

He nods—though I’m not sure he completely understands—before closing his eyes to dedicate his attention to his hearing. “Oi, I hear it!” he says after a second.

“What’s the number?”

He squints to read the tiny numbers on the metre. “110.”

“Alright, tell me when the sound is gone.”

A silent moment passes before he speaks, “There. 70.”

I give him a sly smile. “Congratulations, Macca. You’ve just done your first blood pressure reading.”

He gives a proud smile. “Alright, what’s next?”

“Take a wild guess,” I answer sarcastically.

He rolls his eyes. “Where this time?”

“Neck, but I’m gonna listen first. Chin up.” I place the diaphragm of my stethoscope against his neck. “Breathe in and hold, please.”

I can tell he’s getting a bit put out with the number of things I have to do in an exam.

“Right, nothing wrong there.”

“Pardon me for askin’,” he interrupts, voice dripping with sarcasm, “but what was that for?”

Ignoring the tone in his voice, I answer, “Just checking for murmurs and bruits so I don’t give ye a stroke.”

He quirks an eyebrow but chooses not to pursue the question. I place two fingers on his carotid pulse.

“Everythin’ good?” he asks, his voice vibrating my fingers.

“Yep, still ninety,” I reply. “Right, time for your punishment pulse check. Spread your legs for me.”

He blushes and asks, “Why?” as he follows my directions.

“Gonna check the pulse in your femoral artery,” I answer. I place my hand where his leg meets his groin, putting my other hand on top. “Interesting how the pulse here is 115.”

He blushes deep red. “I dunno why I agreed to this.”

“Because you love me, yeah, yeah, yeah,” I sing. “’sides, my professor didn’t ask for that pulse so I’m not writing that down. Right, here comes the fun part. Well, fun for me. Checking your pulse again but on your chest this time. Hands to your sides.”

He does as I ask before I place my hand on his chest. I check in a few different spots before he says, “I’ll bite. What you doin’ now?”

“Making sure I can’t feel any murmurs. You can feel some of ‘em, ye know.”

He makes a surprised face. “I actually didn’t know that.”

“Now this is my favourite part,” I say emphatically, donning my stethoscope. “Mainly because it’s the easiest since I’ve never actually seen a patient with a murmur.”

He chuckles a bit and asks, “Well, what do I need to do?”

“Be very quiet.”

He lets out a little chuckle before going silent as I begin auscultating every area of his heart with both the diaphragm and bell.

“How’s it soundin’ in there?” he asks, startling me slightly.

“Still ninety, if that’s what you’re asking,” I reply after gaining my composure. “Or are you asking for a listen?”

“Askin’ for a listen on you,” he teases.

I roll my eyes with a grin. I know he’s not serious, but I humour him anyway. “Mitral. Tricuspid. Pulmonary. Aortic.” I move the diaphragm around with each word. “And just for you, Erb’s point. Not a valve but we listen there anyway. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know.”

“Mitral’s my favourite,” he blurts.

“Don’t go all ‘cardiologist’ on me, Macca,” I laugh. “Don’t worry, it’s mine too. And with that, I can safely say you, Mr. McCartney, are healthy as a horse, as far as your heart’s concerned.”

He smirks. “So, what do I get for participatin’ in this?”

“I’ll give you a stress test later.” I give him a quick kiss before climbing off him and reporting the rest of my findings.

#mine #paul mccartney #paul mccartney x reader #paul x reader #the beatles fanfiction #beatles imagines #beatles imagine #beatles x reader #the beatles #beatles #vivi in the sky with fanfics

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whenyourbirdisbroken · 2 years ago

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For your Beatle fic categories...hottest/sexiest/smuttiest?

Hmmm anon this is tough because people find different things sexy :) but here are some that I personally think are hot/sexy/smutty. Don't judge me ok

Boy, You've Been A Naughty Girl by @scurator: This is a proper wonderful love story fic, not PWP or anything, it's just also super hot and sexy. Paul dresses up like a girl for a bet with John and it awakens something in both of them.

I Gave Her My Heart (But She Wanted My Soul) by @muzaktomyears: This is unfortunately incomplete but it's a sexy, slow breakdown of John and Paul deciding to try anal. And rimming! Beautiful.

You Twist So Fine by @chut-je-dors: Just a short but impactful fic of Paul getting horny from listening to music and John fucking him

such a lovely audience by manhattanvalleys: John tells Paul if he wants to get into the band he has to wank in front of him. It's really fucking hot.

We've Caught A Dirty One by MarionP: Trapped in a hotel, the boys decide to entertain each other and end up gangbanging Paul

baby, it’s all relative by @pauls1967moustache: Daddy kink anyone? This is a really hot fic, beautiful writing.

in the middle of a dream by downtothelastdrop: Paul has a dirty dream about John and then they act it out.

Lovely Boys by bigwhoop324: I know not everyone is into the George Martin thing, but this is George Martin "punishing" John and Paul for having sex in the studio.

Rock and Roll by bigwhoop324: Not McLennon! This is George/John. Not a pairing that I normally read but this is just a very sexy fic about George trying to convince John to let him join the band...

#fic recs #i'm sorry i've been flooding everyone's dash with these #but as long as people keep sending me asks I'll keep answering them!

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inspiteallthedanger · 2 years ago

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Hello, Beth!

1, 5 and 6

Cristina! Thank you :-).

Which Beatle is the best in bed?

Obviously this depends on what your preferences are. But I'm going to go with George because I think he would take his dedication to things and turn that onto making your body sing. For me, I like a unflashy sort of focus.

5.Sexiest Beatle Outfit?

Shea Stadium outfits for me. I'm also very into the Sgt Pepper ones. But let's leave that there.

6. Horniest Song

This is the only correct answer: She's So Heavy. It's transcendent. The way it carries on with peaks and troughs. God. Yes.

#ask games

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beatle-george-smut · 5 months ago

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He was born a smutty sex god.

#george harrison #beatles smut #the beatles #ask me stuff #fanfiction #smut #he's the smuttiest beatle #george harrison smut #sexiest beatle

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pissjesus · 3 years ago

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question: what about murdoc made you go so feral? i am equally as unhinged, and i find it interesting how over the years the Murdoc in my brain is nearly a different murdoc we tend to get in canon nowadays.

Short answer: to quote my favorite US President, Jessica Rabbit— he makes me laugh. I think bass is the sexiest instrument. He’s bisexual, and I’m bisexual.

Long answer: he just seems to tick all the boxes when it comes to my favorite character archetypes: dubious parental figures, crusty old men, mansluts, vampiric in nature, wet and pathetic like a newborn deer, mean, bisexual, short kings—you know? I had a major Beatles phase when I was younger and he looks like a rejected Beatle so it’s probably also a Pavlovian response. He has a strange sexual allure and yet he’s so pathetic and it only makes him more compelling. Not only does he wear capes without a doubt in his mind that it makes him cool, but he only started doing it in phase 2, when he was pushing 40. At his big age he decided he’s gonna wear a cape. He’s a disgusting womanizer but in a masochistic way that somehow makes him non-threatening. He’s angry and horrible but with just enough tragedy in his backstory that I can project all my angst onto him. I could fix him but I like him better as a wretch. Here’s some images of him that I like:

To answer the second half: The discrepancy between Murdoc in our brains and Murdoc in canon is probably in part due to like, we idealize our favorite fictional men, but also the way they write him now is so neutered compared to the way he started out. We don’t even get to see his ass, he doesn’t make fun of celebrities by name, he’s supposed to be nice now but instead of actual writing or anything he just cries. You know, the usual gripes

#asks #anonymous #murdoc niccals #gorillaz #kinda funny that when I first got into them 2d was briefly my favorite #I know the tag and the actual content is so oversauturated with him #but i’m not complaining

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piratewithvigor · 4 years ago

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My first thought in regard to every band that gets played on my radio station

ACDC: Every dad’s favourite band

Adams, Bryan: Every mom’s favourite singer until Michael Buble came along

Aerosmith: haha they thought Vince Neil was a lady

Alice Cooper: he’s a Game Of Thrones fanboy and I have proof

Alice In Chains: my sister doesn’t like them because she decided AC were Alice Cooper’s initials ONLY

Allman Brothers Band: good music for dropping acid to

Allman, Gregg: That’s too many Gs for one name

Animals: House Of The Rising Sun, or who even cares

Argent: Sometimes Hold Your Head Up is really catchy

Asia: Tuesdays

Autograph: one of the members went on to be a pharmacist

Bachman-Turner Overdrive: There are just so many pop culture jokes about Taking Care Of Business that whatever I say won’t be as funny

Bad Company: with their song; Bad Company, off their album; Bad Company

Benatar, Pat: Always getting her confused with Patti Smith

Black Crowes: I like them for Lickin, but it doesn’t seem to exist outside of one shoddy video on youtube and my old CD

Blackfoot: this band name feels kind of racy

Black Sabbath: Dio was not better or worse than Ozzy; just different

Blondie: I like Call Me, but Blondie confuses me stylistically

Blue Oyster Cult: MORE COWBELL

Bon Jovi: Hello, childhood trauma, I missed you

Boston: ONE GUY. ONE GUY DID IT ALL AND NO ONE KNOWS

Bowie, David: Don’t let your children watch The Man Who Fell To Earth, or David Bowie’s will end up being the third penis they see in life

Browne, Jackson: Another musician ruined by Supernatural

Buffalo Springfield: Jack Nicholson was at the riot they sing about

Burdon, Eric: no ideas, brain empty

Bush: ditto

Candlebox: ditto once more. Who are these people?

Cars: This band feels so gay and so straight at the same time, I can only assume they’re the poster children of bisexual panic

Cheap Trick: I played Dream Police on Guitar Hero so fucking much because it was the only song anyone who played with me could keep up with

Chicago: Chicago 30 exists, but they do not have 30 albums. Fucking riddle me that

Clapton, Eric: 6 discs in one Greatest Hits is too many. That’s called “re releasing your discography”

Cochrane, Tom: For some reason, everyone thinks Rascal Flats did it better

Cocker, Joe: Belushi did it right

Collective Soul: who?

Collins, Phil: If his biggest hits were done by MCR, they would be emo anthems, but because he’s 5′6″ and from the 80s, they’re not

Cream: *Vietnam flashbacks on the hippie side*

CCR: *Vietnam flashbacks on the war side*

CSNY: David Crosby; meh

Deep Purple: THEY’RE SO MUCH MORE THAN SMOKE ON THE WATER

Def Leppard: the only music for when you’re a heartbroken bitch but also a sexy one

Derek And The Dominos: Clapton and ‘Layla’ broke up

Derringer, Rick: Tom Petty if he was from the midwest

Dio: You thought it was an anime reference, but it was me, Dio

Dire Straits: You can tell how bigoted a radio station is based on how much of Money For Nothing they censor

Doobie Brothers: I have yet to smoke weed, but I listen to the Doobies, and I think that’s pretty close

Dylan, Bob: I take back everything I said about him in my youth

Eagles: Hotel California isn’t their best song, but the memes that come from it are second to none

Edgar Winter Group: @the--blackdahlia

Electric Light Orchestra: Actually an orchestra and sound a fuckton like George Harrison

ELO: I really hesitate to ask what happens with the 7 virgins and a mule

Essex, David: no prominent memories of him

Fabulous Thunderbirds: cannot spell

Faces: Who on earth thought that was a good album name?

Faith No More: I got nothing

Fixx: One Thing Leads To Another is a damn bop

Fleetwood Mac: I ain’t straight, but I’m simply not enough of a witch to enjoy them to full potential

Fogerty, John: He got sued cause he sounded like himself

Foghat: Slow Ride slowly becoming less coherent feels like a drug trip

Foo Fighters: He was just excited to buy a grill

Ford, Lita: deserved better

Foreigner: dramatically overplayed

Frampton, Peter: a masterful user of the talk box

Free: dramatically underplayed

Gabriel, Peter: leaving Genesis changed him a lot

Genesis: if someone likes Genesis, clarify the era, because yes, it does matter

Georgia Satellites: sing like you have a cactus in your ass

Golden Earring: Twilight Zone slaps, but it doesn’t slap as hard as this station thinks it does

Grand Funk Railroad: Funk

Grateful Dead: I like their aesthetic more than their music

Great White: there are so many fucking shark jokes

Greenbaum, Norman: makes me think of Subway for some reason

Green Day: the first of the emo revolution

Greg Kihn Band: RocKihnRoll is literally the most clever album name I’ve ever seen

Guns N Roses: They have more than three good songs, but radio stations never recognize that

Hagar, Sammy: I’m still trying to figure out where he lived to take 16 hours to get to LA driving 55 and how fucking fast was he driving beforehand?

Harrison, George: He went from religious to rock, and if he had continued rocking, he would have gotten too cool

Head East: I respect people who use breakfast foods as album names

Heart: Magic Man and Barracuda are played at least once every goddamn day. They’re not even the best songs!

Hendrix, Jimi: I have both a cousin and a sibling named after Hendrix references

Henley, Don: Dirty Laundry gives me too much inspiration

Hollies: Somehow sound like they’re both from the 60s and the 80s at the same time

Idol, Billy: he’s doing well for himself

INXS: Terminator vibes

Iris, Donnie: knockoff Roy Orbison

James Gang: too many funks

Jane’s Addiction: if TMNT had a grunge band representative

Jefferson Airplane: *assorted cheers*

Jefferson Starship: *assorted boos*

Jethro Tull: The only band to make you feel not cool enough to play the flute

Jett, Joan: icon

J. Geils Band: I requested them on the radio once and it got played

Joel, Billy: he really did just air everybody’s business like that

John Cafferty And The Beaver Brown Band: literally wtf is that name

John, Elton: yarn Elton sits in my basement, unstaring. Please someone take him from me

Joplin, Janis: Queen

Journey: Stop overplaying Don’t Stop Believing. It takes away from the rest of the repetoire

Judas Priest: literally started the gay leather aesthetic

Kansas: another fucking band Supernatural stole

Kenny Wayne Shepherd: the man confuses me to the point where he isn’t in the right place alphabetically

Kiss: Mick Mars and I will simply have to disagree on the subject

Kravitz, Lenny: runaway vibes

Led Zeppelin: Fucking fight me if you don’t think they’re the most talented band (maybe not the most talented individually, but collectively, no one comes close)

Lennon, John: My least favourite Beatle for reasons

Live: I got nothin

Living Colour: slap a decent amount

Loverboy: do you not get TURNT the fuck up to the big Loverboy hits? Who hurt you??

Lynyrd Skynyrd: Sweet Home Alabama is a Neil Young diss track

Marshall Tucker Band: no opinion

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band: VERY STRONG OPINIONS THAT THEY AREN’T GOOD

McCartney, Paul/Wings: Power couple

Meatloaf: I have nothing but respect for a man who willingly named himself Meatloaf

Mellencamp, John: voted cutest lesbian of 1987

Metallica: I liked their appearance on Jimmy Fallon

Midnight Oil: I get them confused for Talking Heads a lot

Modern English: who?

Molly Hatchet: Hollies vibes, but also Georgia Satellites vibes

Money, Eddie: DAN AVIDAN, IF YOU SEE THIS, COVER TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT

Motley Crue: Stan Mick Mars and John Corabi. They’re the only ones who deserve it

Mott The Hoople: no one loves them except for David Bowie

Mountain: props for naming an album ‘Climbing’

Nazareth: I want to make a John Mulaney joke here, but I can never come up with one

Nicks, Stevie: witch queen

Night Ranger: I get them confused with Urge Overkill

Nirvana: Kurt Cobain was the ally grunge needed

Nova, Aldo: he’s Canadian, at least

Nugent, Ted: *serves a ghost as jerky*

Offspring: nothing here

Osbourne, Ozzy: this bitch crazy

Outfield: Your Love is kind of a sketchy song, but it slaps hard

Palmer, Robert: low quality Eddie Money

Pearl Jam: *grunts in Eddie Vedder*

Petty, Tom: I have so many feelings about Tom Petty and they are all good

Pink Floyd: which one is Pink?

Plant, Robert: solo career is a crapshoot, but his voice is unparalleled

Poison: I want them to write a song called ‘Alice Cooper’

Pretenders: I want to say good things, but I have nothing to say

Queen: A doctor of astrophysics, a screaming girl, a disco queen and a diva walk into a bar. It’s Queen; they’re there to play a gig

Queensryche: neutral opinion

Quiet Riot: they got big because of a song they hated. I love that

Rafferty, Gerry: the second-sexiest sax opening in all of music

Rainbow: Ritchie Blackmore created something very magnificent

Ram Jam: one good song and they didn’t even write it

Ratt: I’m sure they have more than Round And Round, but I don’t know it

RHCP: funky, but if you have paid money to hear them, you’re going to The Bad Place (I don’t make the rules)

Red Rider: basically Golden Earring

Reed, Lou: Walk On The Wild Side would be such a cool song if it wasn’t so dull

REM: American Tragically Hip

REO Speedwagon: Props for having a dad joke as an album title

Rolling Stones: Never in my life could I imagine the drummer being named anything but Charlie

Rush: How to make being uncool the coolest fucking shit

Santana: The world needs more Santana

Scandal: There’s something really funny about The Warrior being my brother’s “song” with his girlfriend

Scorpions: Was Wind Of Change written by the CIA? Only the spotify podcast I got an ad for once could say

Seger, Bob: A different variety of Eric Clapton (frankly a better variety, but that’s just me)

Simple Minds: we ALL forgot about you

Skid Row: Sebastian Bach is prettier than all of us

Soundgarden: music that makes you feel like you dunked your head underwater

Springsteen, Bruce: my arch-nemesis. Maybe someday, he’ll find out about it

Squeeze: according to my friends, the stupidest band name ever, but they’re theatre kids, so you know

Squier, Billy: If he can make it through 1984 alive, you can make it through whatever bad day you’re having

Stealers Wheel: Yet another band who I always mistake for George Harrison

Steely Dan: my house’s nickname for the Robber in Settlers Of Catan

Steppenwolf: Either makes me think of Jay & Silent Bob, Jack Nicholson, or that time I had to cut 6lbs of onions

Steve Miller Band: when you’re in the right mood, they slap hard

Stewart, Rod: my soundtrack to summer 2015

Stills, Stephen: Love The One You’re With Is Catchy, but the lyrics are questionable

Stone Temple Pilots: the only band to write a song about goo you smear on yourself

Stray Cats: an obscene amount of merch is available for them

Styx: Supernatural would have ruined them for me too if I hadn’t been into them previously.

Supertramp: I hunted for Breakfast In America for two years and it was worth every hunt

Sweet: I will never understand my two-month obsession with Ballroom Blitz when I was 15, but it was legit all I listened to

Talking Heads: you may find yourself in a pizza hut. And you may find yourself in a taco bell. And you may find yourself at the combination pizza hut and taco bell. And you may ask yourself; ‘how did I get here?’

Temple Of The Dog: I keep confusing them for Nazareth

Ten Years After: somehow still relevant

Tesla: not the car or the dude

The Beatles: Evokes a lot of opinions from people. Mine is that I love them

The Clash: I showed my sister the ‘Lock The Taskbar’ vine ONCE and it still kills her

The Doors: evokes teenage terror from deep within my soul

The Guess Who: Canada’s answer to confusing question-themed band names

The Kinks: kinky

The Police: wrote the theme of 2020 and everyone somehow forgot it was about a teacher resisting becoming a pedophile

The Ramones: playing all of their songs in a row wouldn’t take more than 2 hours

The Romantics: you don’t think you know them, but if you’ve seen Shrek 2, you have

The Who: If someone can explain Tommy to me, I’d be glad to hear it

The Zombies: I think they happened because of the 60s

Thin Lizzy: Could the boys maybe leave town?

Thorogood, George: blues, but make it modern

Toto: the most memed song behind All Star

Townshend, Pete: just makes me think of the end of Mr. Deeds

T-Rex: Mark Bolan is an icon

Triumph: The no-name brand of Rush

Tubes: like the yogurt

Twisted Sister: they did a christmas album and my mom does NOT hate it

U2: U2 Movers; we move in mysterious ways

Van Halen: RIP Eddie

Van Morrison: honestly, who’s named Van?

Vaughn, Stevie Ray: Steamy Ray Vaughn

Walsh, Joe: The Smoker You Drink The Player You Get

War: Foghat, but even groovier

Whitesnake: the most successful band to be named after a penis

Wright, Gary: the 90s thanks him for writing the song every movie used for the “guy sees cute girl and it’s love at first sight” scene

Yes: To Be Continued

Young, Neil: The best part of CSNY

Zevon, Warren: the album cover of Excitable Boy makes me deeply uncomfortable for reasons I don’t understand

ZZ Top: has been the same three guys since 1969. Lineup unchanged.

3 Doors Down: They feel a little modern to be on a classic rock station, but whatever

38 Special: Why 38?

#I made this instead of doing homework #Classic Rock #Meme

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glarmphtruther66 · 3 years ago

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How easily we forget the sins of the past.

Glarmph Beatle was an 8800 pound adult male elephant seal, and one of the five founding members of the English rock band The Beatles. He was widely considered to be the most attractive Beatle, showing up at the top of several "sexiest man alive" lists during his lifetime. Glarmph was credited by multiple publications as the reason for the band's massive success.

His time with the band was cut tragically short on the 26th of May, 1966, during the recording of the song Yellow Submarine, when Glarmph was shot and killed by Ringo Starr, who was jealous of his popularity. Following the incident, the four remaining Beatles, with the aid of the U.S. Government, covered up Glarmph's death, a practice they would soon grow accustomed to after the death of Paul McCartney on November 9th of that same year.

Despite their efforts, the sound of Glarmph's murder is infamously audible in the radio version of the song.

(Re-Upload of the original Glarmph video, since the powers at be are dedicated to erasing him from history.)

#glarmph #glarmph beatle #the beatles #true crime #ringo starr

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flowerfan2 · 3 years ago

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Let Me Whisper In Your Ear

Please enjoy this fluffy bit of ridiculousness, brought to you by that friend who when I said “gee, I doubt there’s a Ted/Trent tentacle fic yet” said they wanted to read it. 🐙. Title from the Beatles’ song “Do You Want To Know A Secret.”

Ted/Trent (aka Tent), 1800 words, M, A03

Ted is sitting on a bench near Richmond Bridge, nursing his cup of coffee. It’s a few weeks after the catastrophic Man City game, and he finally feels like the team is putting it behind them.

When he woke up this morning, Ted considered checking something off the long list of tourist activities he had assigned himself back when he first got to London. But in the end he decided that taking it easy was more to his liking.

It's a pretty spot, here by the Thames. There’s a good bakery nearby, tucked into a converted arch near the bridge, and the server didn’t seem to mind putting good old cow’s milk into his cup. He’s considering going back for another coffee, or maybe even a cupcake, when someone sits down next to him.

He looks over and breaks into a smile, pleased despite himself. “Well, if it isn’t Trent Crimm, of the Independent.”

Trent rolls his eyes. “I think at this point you can just call me Trent.”

“Now, where would the fun be in that?” Ted leans in and presses a quick kiss to Trent’s cheek, hardly more than a greeting between friends. Trent blushes ever so prettily, and it sends a rush of affection through his chest. “It’s nice to see you this fine morning.”

“As if I’d be anywhere else on your day off.”

Now it’s Ted’s turn to blush. This is new between them, and he’s not used to being someone’s priority, not like this, anyway. His schedule is demanding, but it turns out that a journalist of Trent’s caliber has quite a bit of flexibility schedule-wise, and who knows, maybe in other ways as well.

Ted focuses himself back on handsome fellow next to him. “This here’s a right nice place to sit,” he says. “And not too crowded. I’m glad you suggested it.”

Trent hums to himself and looks around. “Gets busier on the weekend. Still, you might want to be careful.” He gives Ted a knowing look. “It’s not exactly private.”

They sit in comfortable silence together for a little while, Trent drinking his tea and Ted finishing off his coffee. There’s music coming from somewhere, a busker playing a fiddle, and the breeze is soft and almost warm. Ted knows that he’s not ready for public displays of affection yet, he hasn’t even told Rebecca or Keeley about this, but he’s confident he’ll be ready soon.

There’s a shout behind them, and Ted turns to see a few kids kicking a ball around.

“Don’t worry, I don’t think they’ve seen you,” Trent says. “Your secret’s still safe.”

“What, that this football coach prefers coffee to tea? I don’t think that’s much of secret.”

Trent laughs, soft and low, and Ted wants to hear it again. “What do you say we go back to my place, see if we can get into some trouble of our own? Or yours, I’m easy.”

It works, as Trent chuckles in amusement, and they stand up. Ted wants to take Trent’s hand, but he stops himself in time, instead bumping their shoulders together.

They’re walking down the road, hands shoved in their pockets after depositing their coffee cups in the trash, when Trent’s posture shifts. “Ted. You’re not the only one with a secret.”

Ted glances at Trent. “I know. I get that you have to be careful too. But you haven’t been reporting on Richmond-”

“No, I don’t mean about us.”

Ted comes up blank. “Okay.”

They continue walking, and then Trent stops and turns to Ted. “Aren’t you going to ask me what it is? What my secret is?”

Ted catches Trent’s eyes. “Now, that’s the beautiful thing about a secret, isn’t it? You don’t have to share it. It’s not for public consumption.” He doesn’t know what’s troubling Trent, but Ted does know a thing or two about privacy, and wanting to keep certain things to himself. It’s not always a good idea, but then again it’s not always a bad idea, either.

“You are not exactly the public,” Trent says, mildly affronted.

“Fine, I appreciate that. And I’m mighty glad. But you still don’t have to tell me.”

*****

A few weeks go by, and Ted doesn’t dwell on what kind of secret Trent might be keeping. He trusts him, and he figures that whatever it is, Trent will tell him when he’s ready.

They’re on Trent’s couch, engaging in what Ted is chuffed to call snogging (he’s quite pleased at the way his British-isms are coming along, he’s even starting to think in British), and it’s getting rather hot and heavy. Ted is halfway in Trent’s lap, and Trent’s hands have wandered under Ted’s shirt, his palms stroking tantalizingly up and down Ted’s back.

Trent is making encouraging noises as Ted kisses the life out of him, and Ted wants to get his hands on Trent too. He shifts, tugging a little at the worn t-shirt Trent has on, his jacket long since tossed aside. Trent strips his shirt off, and before long they’re down to their respective underwear, Ted’s boring boxers and Trent’s delectably snug black briefs.

Trent gasps against Ted’s neck as they grind together, and then has the sense to drag Ted up and off the couch. “Bedroom?” he asks, and Ted nods, too worked up to even wonder why he hadn’t thought of it sooner.

Trent’s bed is huge, and he sprawls across it, pulling Ted after him. “I’ve wanted this for so long,” he breathes into Ted’s skin, and then proceeds to suck kisses down his neck. Ted leans his head back against the pillows, tangling his hands in Trent’s hair. This is the first time they’ve gone this far, and Ted has a feeling he isn’t going to last, so he wants to savor every part of it.

Trent finds his way down Ted’s chest, giving an experimental lick to a nipple, and Ted hisses in response. “Good?” Trent asks, his finger circling it now.

“Yes, yes, very good.”

Trent returns to his task, licking and sucking, and then gives the other one some attention. Ted is on fire, and he needs to have his mouth on Trent. He tugs him back up and they kiss, fiercer than ever before, their legs wrapping tight around each other as they find delicious friction.

Trent is cupping Ted’s head with one hand, the other gripping his waist, and Ted is doing much the same. He angles his hips, feeling Trent hard against him, and shifts, trying to press them together. Then he feels Trent push his boxers away and take him in hand, and he groans, sensation overtaking him and fireworks exploding behind his eyes.

Trent comes soon after him, letting out a low moan that might be the sexiest thing Ted has ever heard. They’re both panting as they come down, Trent stroking soothingly along Ted’s flank.

Ted tilts his head and kisses at Trent’s palm, loving the feeling of Trent’s hands along his face.

His hands, plural, along his face.

Ted runs his fingers along Trent’s arms, around his elbows and to his hands, and holds still. Yup, hands are all present and accounted for. So what, exactly, is rubbing soothing circles into his side?

“Trent?”

“Mmm?” Trent blinks at him, and Ted is momentarily sidetracked. Sex-sleepy Trent is adorable.

“A little while back, you told me you had something to tell me…”

A beat, and then Trent goes rigid. “Oh my god.” The soft caress on Ted’s hip disappears, and Trent’s eyes go wide. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I can’t believe-”

“Hey, hey, calm down,” Ted says, his hands on Trent’s shoulders. “It’s okay, whatever it is, it’s okay.”

“You can’t possibly mean that, you don’t know-”

“But you’re gonna tell me now, I imagine, and then it will be okay.” Ted is pointedly keeping his eyes focused on Trent’s face.

“This is not how I planned on telling you. I was - you distracted me - not that it’s your fault-”

“I guess we did get carried away, and I’m sorry ‘bout that.” Ted says. “I mean, I’m not altogether sorry about it, because it was amazing, truly amazing, but I’m sorry for whatever has upset you.”

Trent buries his face in Ted’s shoulder for a long moment, and then seems to come to a decision. “Right, then. Just please keep in mind that I’ve not had to share this with someone new for a long time, and while I am generally very good with words-”

“And humble, don’t forget humble.”

“I think it’s best if I just show you.” Trent lays close to Ted and takes a deep breath. One hand is on Ted’s cheek, and the other finds Ted’s hand and claps it between them. And then Ted feels it again, a gentle touch skimming its way across his hip, up his side, to his shoulder.

“I’m fairly certain that there are only two of us in this bed,” Ted says quickly, his nerves kicking in, “right?”

“Right,” Trent says, “No one else here. that’s just me.” He pulls back so that Ted can see. Ted is trying really hard to be respectful and understanding, he really is, but he thinks he lets out a squeak. “Is that, is that a…?”

“It’s a tentacle,” Trent says, haughty and tense. “I don’t know why I have it, it’s very rare, I’m not an alien, and it won’t bite.”

Ted draws in a deep breath and squeezes Trent’s hand. Whatever else is going on, this is still Trent here with him, exposed and vulnerable. “Well, that last one’s a shame, because given how helpful it was with our recent shenanigans, that particular ability might have been interesting.” Ted slides his hand through Trent’s hair and pulls him in for a kiss, ignoring the tentacle for the moment.

Trent chokes out a nervous laugh against Ted’s mouth and kisses him back, then almost giggles with relief. “You’re really okay with this?”

“Does it hurt? Is it, um, dangerous in any way?”

“No, not at all. It’s just unbearably strange.”

“Not unbearably.” Ted lets his fingers roam over Trent’s back, stopping as he reaches his shoulder blades, until Trent nods against his chin. He strokes down his spine, and then he finds it, just at Trent’s waist, almost like a tail.

“It’s not a tail,” Trent says, as if reading Ted’s mind. “It’s just its own ridiculous thing.”

Ted circles the base with his fingers, and Trent gasps.

“Whoa there,” Ted says, letting go. “Is it, um-”

“Sensitive,” Trent replies, hiding his face against Ted once again.

“Sensitive, like?” Like sex, his brain fills in.

“Yes.”

Ted laughs then and pulls his bristling boyfriend close, rocking him in his arms. “Oh my lord, you are just the bee’s knees, aren’t you.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Trent mutters.

“No need to be embarrassed,” Ted assures him, returning his hands to the safer and just as lovely terrain of Trent’s plentiful locks. “When you’re ready - only if you want - we can have a lot of fun together, with whatever parts of your body and mine we’re comfortable with. But no matter what, sweetheart, your secret’s safe with me.”

#Ted Lasso #Trent Crimm #Tent #Ted Lasso fic #Tent fic #Tentacles #Well one tentacle #crack #fluff

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ceriseisland · 3 years ago

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Ship ask game for specialshipping and oldrivalshipping! They were my otps when i was a literal infant and in my first fandom so I’ve got a soft spot for them both

This will probably be lower than you think ^ ^'

Special

Rating: 6

Do I ship it: Not really. Used to though

Why don't you ship it: It's a cute first crush pairing, but I can't see Red and Yellow getting past their awkwardness to start a relationship. I don't think they're what the other needs, and I like poly Red/Blue/Green much better because they literally complete each other's character arcs. Red and Yellow don't do much for each other in terms of character arcs outside of Yellow's crush on Red, so I think it would work better as one sided, or Yellow grows out of it or something. I rate it 6 because it's adorable, but I just can't see it ever going anywhere

What could have gotten me to ship it: If Yellow kept her debut personality I could imagine them getting together since she's more direct and less awkward, though they would also have to fulfill a need of the other to make me ship it. Either that or if they had actually gotten together in canon I might

How I would like them to get together: Mmm I've been toying with the idea of a yellow arc rewrite for a long time, and if I mess with the setup of their relationship I could make myself ship it. Idk have to think about it

What I don't like about fancontent for them: The pokespe fandom has a way of fanonizing characters, and Red and Yellow are particular victims from the fanfiction.net days. You know exactly what I'm talking about

Song that reminds me most of it: Anything for You by Ludo, Hi Hey There Hello by The Mowglis, and I Want to Hold Your Hand by the Beatles

Any last unpopular opinions: It really is just a first crush pairing. I loved it as a kid but as an adult I just don't see it anymore since I don't think they have much chemistry outside of both liking pokemon. It's super cute though

Oldrival

Rating: 8 for viability

Do I ship it: Sort of. Mostly part of a Red/Blue/Green poly relationship

Why don't I ship it: Oldrival is another one I loved as a kid but not as much today. I think they have more chemistry than any other kanto quartet pairing, and the fact that we see them both mature into adults through the story makes a romance between them seem a lot more realistic. My problem is that I like Original too and a semiromantic poly relationship between the three of them makes the most sense to their character arcs

What would have gotten me to ship it: If Red didn't exist or if Blue and Green fulfilled a need in each other that Red didn't also as a trio

What I like about it: I love their vibe. They're the sexy bitches of Kanto, but there's also an tender undercurrent, since Green is badly traumatized Blue would have to be empathetic to her, which is a skill he needs to learn

What I dislike about it: Again it just works better with Red. Green canonically overcomes her trauma through her friendship with Red and Blue, and Blue grows by becoming more like Red and vise versa. They're meant to work as a trio so you lose something by separating them

What I like about fancontent for them: You really don't see much these days

The song that reminds me the most of them: Genius by Sia, Wow and Flutter by April Smith, Love Love Love by Of Monsters and Men, and Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande

Any last unpopular opinions: They got together because they realized they were the sexiest people in the friend group and therefore must date to increase how sexy and powerful they are

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