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chronicdelusionistsart · 3 months ago

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Bernard Dowd and the Art of Recontextualization

I'm what you might call a "fake Batman fan" - that is, I've only watched most of the Batman animated series', all of the live action movies, most of the animated ones, played some of the video games... so, you know, probably thousands of hours of my life in Batman related media. But not the comics! Fake fan!

Frankly, I find the comics medium the way DC and Marvel do it to be really hard to follow. There's the fact that you can't really follow an individual solo character without them getting caught up in massive crossover events that ruin their arc and pacing, there's the soap-opera-iness that encourages cheap and revolving conflicts inherent to the longform monthly release schedule, the writer roulette, and there's also just that going back to try and thread a particular continuity or character is an exercise in frustration. Oh and the retcons. Everyone hates those. They've (basically) never been good. Don't remember this part it will never come up aga

But, you know, despite this - or maybe because of this - comics is a breeding ground for ideas. Because of the quick turnaround and the demand for novel conflicts, comics just churn out idea after idea. Good ideas, bad ideas, doesn't matter. Get it to print. Retcon it later if we write ourselves into a corner. Comics are often soooooo first draft coded. This is why I personally prefer adaptations - they often reimagine ideas and retcon them into new narratives where they can serve a more coherent plot. But what happens when a character is picked up for a second draft ... without actually contradicting the earlier material? While enriching the earlier material, even?

(SPOILERS for Tim Drake: Robin and uh... 20 year old comics under the cut!)

So, uh, quick disclaimer - because I have very little overall knowledge of DC's Comics continuity, there may be more interesting examples of times that what I'm going to point out was done. But I love Bernard and from a writer's POV I'm impressed with the way they did it so we're talking about Bernard lmao

The Beginning (Robin 1993) - Reading comics from the 2000s hurts in a way I can't describe

Okay so I heard Tim Drake is dating a guy now? (Penny Sonic voice) Whoa he's bisexual I didn't know that! I'm sure people on the internet are being very normal about this. Cool let's find out more about his new bf. I like starting from the beginning... so like yeah hold on while I crack open the Robin comic and take down what this guy's deal is.

😬

So basically the TL;DR of Bernard in his original appearances is that he seems to be an attempt to introduce some normal stakes teen drama into Tim's life. He has all the Funny Guy Friend Classics - he's got an inflated sense of his proficiency at pulling girls, he's inexplicably drawn towards the protagonist (who is cooler than him), he wants to date the most popular girl in school, and he wants to get down with older women!

This might just be me but while I was going through this I thought like, he almost reads a little uncanny, like he's been filtered through a Disney Teen Special. In practice he mostly serves to introduce Tim to the Real Plot, Darla Aquista, and be one of his ties to civilian life, which is, like, fine. He's ultimately just a background character and he's so unimportant that he only has one appearance after their school gets shot up(!!!), which is, again, to be more of an accessory to the Darla plot.

After this display of "wow this guy's kind of lowkey insane for offering to his resurrected bestie supervillainess to be her manager actually", he's dropped forever. Comics! We're not gonna unpack that.

The Sequel (Batman: Urban Legends) - We're Gonna Unpack That

Until almost two decades later when he calls Tim up for a date. And while I'm trying to skim over a lot to get to the point here and I don't really know the FULL context, it is notable that Tim is in the middle of an identity crisis / the cusp of adulthood when this happens (I think he just lost a spleen or something. That sucks dude). It's pretty implicit that part of the reason he's going to see Bernard is because he's someone familiar in a time when he's facing a lot of new and scary stuff.

And at first blush, he really does seem like the same dude. The familiar arm over the shoulder, the banter, it's all very casual and similar to the ribbing from high school -

- and I guess nothing has happened to Bernard in the interim haha he's just the funny friend guy right?

I really like the way they did this. I'm just unambiguously going to praise how good this is if you just came off the 2000s stuff. Comics have kind of breakneck pacing by nature but they really manage to condense down and then pull off a neat sleight of hand over the course of like four pages here. They re-establish Bernard as a silly guy and then wham you with the fact that yeah actually we ARE gonna unpack that. Fuck you Tim Drake life is ever changing and nothing stays the same

So the TL;DR on the rest of the Urban Legends storyline is that stuff like, HAPPENED to this guy while our focus was elsewhere. He learned martial arts, presumably so that he wouldn't be so helpless in the next school shooting level event, he got into a pain cult, he's just Not Doing Well. We find out, reading between the lines, that calling Tim on a date was probably one of his last attempts to reach out to someone when the cult stuff was getting really bad.

I've heard people complain that Bernard is uninteresting or not a character or entirely focused on his relationship with Tim, and I think that criticism is really weird considering that his entire re-debut focuses on the point that he's been having his own life and making his own (often wild) decisions - ones that really changed the course of his life - while Tim was gone. And it's also notable that this story is about how the fact that he's his own person and has changed and has made the nerve-wracking decision to take action and call Tim inspires Tim himself to take a leap and fling himself into the uncertain waters of young adulthood.

Me when I have my bi awakening and call to get out of a rut simultaneously because Cute Insane Guy Inspired Me. iconic

So that's how Bernard has changed. But that's not recontextualization, that's just the writers taking a guy and making him do another, cooler thing. Well hold the fuck on because we're not goddamn done.

What did he mean by th-

The Recontextualizerrrrr (Tim Drake: Robin) - Bernard is the funniest person in Gotham City. I'll not be taking constructive criticism on this

Tim Drake: Robin is the followup to the Urban Legends story and Tim is the main character fr. Obviously. but Bernard is also a major character. Later, he even gets to be a POV character. But they don't do that for several issues, instead treating us to his shenanigans from Tim's point of view as he solves a bizarre serial murder case and like, they're cute! And neither of them are normal in the slightest. I love that for them.

Again, TL;DR, there are a lot of interactions where Bernard talks to Tim both in and out of costume, but we don't get to see his POV until they go out to a restaurant and meet Bernard's parents there by accident and Tim has to run off to do Robin stuff. And like... a lot of stuff happens in this one bois. Whammy after whammy

We're suddenly introduced explicitly to a lot that was only implied or just completely unavailable before. Bernard's parents are ragingly homophobic. Probably were never great even before that. He suffers from depression. All that is a lot to. wait. hold on a second

he knows?????

HE KNOWS????

Okay so if you stop at this point and reread the entire run so far you find out that Bernard is in fact the biggest troll in the entire universe. This is the moment that cemented him as my favourite, by the way. Like I had a feeling that he knew and I was just laughing my ass off when my suspicions were confirmed.

But this is really interesting on top of that because Bernard has been revealed to be, at this point, a guy who you should look deeper than the surface to understand. Someone who masks his true self and whose true motivations you can only uncover if you're really looking past the facade. Even with Tim, he sort of offers Tim and Robin half the story each, taking advantage of Robin's "distance" to give out information he wants Tim to think about but that he's reluctant to talk about frankly while at the same time almost daring Tim to open up about his identity.

Absolutely most normal way to tell your bf about your cult trauma. You'll always be famous to me Bernard Dowd

This is a really neat trick by the writers. It makes Bernard a multifaceted character who got to quietly develop while we were mostly focused on Tim, and there's some clever clever foreshadowing they set up in this run to achieve this. If it were just this, I would call it good writing.

But it actually goes one level deeper than that and becomes something really really special. because as we all know, Bernard was not conceived to be this way, he was a one-off guy who was kind of annoying and he was essentially retconned to be, like. Gay? Have depth? Be funny? All of those things?

The Seamless Retcon (Robin 1993 Again) - We took your guy and we gave him gay subtext and it worked astoundingly well

This is not a new observation btw, I've seen a ton of posts to this effect. But oh my god. Some of these panels really hit different with the new Bernard lore. Like holy fuck just read this back to back

There are tons of moments like this. There's SO MUCH that the revelation that Bernard is queer adds to his initially extremely underwhelming tenure in the Robin comics. A reread almost begs the question of what Bernard must have been thinking at any given moment! BRO YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO FUCK HIS STEPMOM. That's completely believable as a next-level closeting move and goes from kind of annoying to turbofunny.

Like yeah of course he's acting like a douche. His father is a status-chasing asshole and he's five racks deep in the closet. Of course he gravitates towards Tim - his gaydar is pinging and he thinks Tim is cute. And it's also pinging that Tim is like. You know

None of this would hit as hard if the writers had not set up Bernard as someone who masks so much. They worked it in that character trait to mean that you could always glean information deeper than the surface from his top level interactions.

Because of this, Bernard is really fucking interesting and he's a good character and he's one that gets better on reread. Like I said, that's a set of observations that are not new to me. But something that really gets to me is how seamless and intentional it is. It really feels like the writer sat down and took their time devising a guy that is believable as that other guy, but only if you read back with certain context.

The conclusion - Comics. Man.

So is this just about how Bernard is really fucking interesting and he's a good character and he's one that gets better on reread and that he can exist independent of Tim and all the haters are wrong. Yeah of course. 💖

But also like, I have thoroughly proven to myself that I was kinda wrong to just reject the published comics medium out of hand. I see now that there's room for the writer's roulette to hit the jackpot and that something I mistook as an outright flaw, the winding and unfocused and often improvised nature of it, can be ridden like a wave if you're skilled enough to do it. Meghan Fitzmarten is a goddamned genius.

I guess I have to read comics now. Fuck

#tim drake: robin #robin 1993 #batman: urban legends #Batman #Red Robin #Tim Drake #timothy drake #bernard dowd #writing analysis #dc comics #If you're a hater in the notes btw get ready to be ignored lmao #Timber #Timbern

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dckweed · 2 months ago

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tiktok made me do it!gf vs deployed tf141 bf

hey friends :) it would be much appreciated if you helped me earn some extra money, without even giving me any of your own (you could even sign up and earn some yourself!) by clicking this link!

Your boyfriend is one of the most highly trained, battle-hardened soldiers on the planet. His dog? The meanest, toughest, most well-trained Rottweiler you've ever seen.

And now? That same terrifying dog is currently under your care, with specific instructions NOT to spoil them…you can listen to the most basics of asks, right?

RIGHT?!?

Captain Price – "a Disney character"

Price kneels beside Ruby, scratching behind her ears one last time before he has to leave. His hand lingers on her thick fur, and his usually steady, commanding voice softens. "You take care of her, girl."*

Ruby lets out a soft chuff, pressing her head into his palm.

You sniffle. "I promise I’ll take good care of her, John."

He stands, turning to you. "I know you will, love. Just don’t—“He pauses, his brows furrowing. "Don’t go doin’ anythin’ weird with her, alright?"

You tilt your head. "Define weird."

He squints. "You know what I mean."

You absolutely did not.

One week later.

You send the first picture.

A delicate, pink tutu around Ruby’s waist. Light-up fairy wings strapped to her back. Her nails painted a perfectly coordinated shade of pink.

The best part?

She looks proud as hell.

Your phone immediately pings.

Price: The fuck is this, sweetheart?

You send another one. This time, Ruby is lounging on her brand new, overly expensive luxury dog bed, wearing a tiny princess crown.

Price: I leave her with ye for one fuckin’ week and she’s already been turned into a bloody Disney character?!

You: Oh hush, she loves it. Look at her face!

Price groans so loudly that his whole unit hears it. Soap leans over, sees the picture, and wheezes. "Aw, hell, Price. She's fuckin' royalty now."

Ghost, glancing over: "She looks happier than you do when your girl spoils you."

Price rubs his temples. "You're all bloody useless."

A week later, he receives a handwritten letter along with another photo—this time, of a handmade scarf for Ruby.

He stares at the picture, sighs, and mutters under his breath: "Jesus Christ, she’s turned my guard dog into a bloody princess."

Ruby is a princess.

And when he gets back? She refuses to go anywhere without her tutu.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick – "Super Hank, Defender of Snacks"

"Alright, Hank, you be good for her, yeah?" Gaz kneels down, ruffling his dog's fur. Hank wags his tail, panting happily.

You pat his head. "Oh, don’t worry, babe. We’ll be fine."

Kyle gives you a suspicious look. "Why do I feel like you’re about to do some shit?"

You grin. "Define shit."

He sighs. "I hate that response."

Two weeks later.

Gaz finally gets phone service and opens his messages.

The first thing he sees?

A picture of Hank, sitting like a goddamn superhero, wearing a full custom-made Superman cape.

The second picture? Hank in a full Batman outfit.

The third? A custom graphic that says: "HANK, DEFENDER OF SNACKS!"

Gaz: BABY WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY DOG?

You: Enhanced him.

Gaz nearly breaks his phone. "Oh my fucking God, she’s turned my damn dog into a cosplayer."

Soap, seeing the pictures: "I dunno, mate. He looks pretty fuckin’ heroic."

Ghost, from somewhere in the distance, voice full of humor. “More capable than you, probably."

Gaz groans. "I hate all of you."

Simon "Ghost" Riley – "for you and boy!"

Ghost stares at you, his hands resting on his hips. "You sure you’ll be alright with him?" Goodbyes always were a little cold and distant with him, a little awkward. This was no different, even though you’d been through many of them work him.

Boy sits beside him, posture perfect, eyes watchful.

You roll your eyes. "Yes, Simon. I think I can handle a dog."

Ghost hums. "Alright. Just—" He looks at Boy. "Don’t let her turn you soft, mate."

Boy wags his tail. Simon plants a fat slobbery goodbye kiss on you and smacks your ass before heading out, duffel in his hand.

A month later.

Ghost finally gets service.

And he immediately regrets it.

The first picture? Boy, wrapped in a crocheted sweater—one that matches a homemade balaclava clearly mid crochet.

The second? Boy, completely limp, letting you hold him like a baby.

The third? A handwritten letter, along with a hand-knitted balaclava for Ghost.

Ghost: What the fuck is this, love?

You: A little gift for you and Boy! He wears his ALL the time. He loves it!

Ghost stares.

Soap sees the picture and immediately loses it. "NO FUCKIN’ WAY. SHE KNITTED YE A BLOODY BALACLAVA?"

Ghost grumbles, but when he next goes on deployment?

He proudly wears the balaclava.

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish – "don’t let him get fat"

Soap kneels, ruffling Bubkiss’s fur. "A’right, old man, be good, yeah?"

Bubkiss lazily blinks up at him.

Soap turns to you. "Babe, don’t let him get too fat while I’m gone."

You scoff. "Me? Never." He looks at you. “Hey, you know im on that new workout thing, he and i are gonna go running every morning..”

“Aye, i know all about you and yer workout things.” Soap says, barely dodging the smack you aim at his shoulder.

Three weeks later.

Soap finally gets a video message.

It’s Bubkiss.

On your couch, under a heated blanket, eating a fucking steak.

Soap: Babe, the fuck is this?

You: Luxury.

Soap groans into his hands. "She’s ruined him. She’s fuckin’ RUINED HIM."

The next picture? Bubkiss, fully tucked into bed.

Soap grits his teeth. "I leave for one month, and you replace me with my own damn dog?*"

Gaz, barely holding in his cackles: "Look at him, mate. He’s got your spot and everything."

Soap glares at the picture. "I hate this."*

When he gets back? Bubkiss refuses to leave your side.

Soap groans. "I’ve lost me fuckin’ girlfriend to me fuckin’ dog." The first night home was spent staring at the ceiling from the bedroom floor, bubkiss snoring up above him. He spent hours plotting revenge on his own dog until he finally had enough and got up, pulling the duvet back, scooping the massive dog in his arms before dumping him on the floor before climbing into bed next to you, grumbling all the while.

MORAL OF THE STORY

maybe you couldn’t follow instructions after all..

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shadowsndaisies · 3 months ago

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the beginning

a/n: part one of the brightest of lights white lantern!reader AU!!! im so excited to share this with you as part of my resolution to posting more often, especially the wips that have been sitting stagnant for so long. it's the first time in a while that i get to return to jason todd, my number 1 always.

main masterlist

the brightest of lights masterlist

wc: 4.2k

“Batcave to Outlaws,” Dick Grayson’s voice flooded the speakers of your new hideout and you heard Jason let out a groan.

“What’s up, Batcave?” you smirk, answering the call.

“Why would you answer?” Jason chided as Dick’s face filled the screen. “You know we don’t like them,” he huffs from where he was sharpening one of his blades.

“I’m bored and their calls usually give me something to do,” you muse.

“Ding! Ding! Ding! The lady is correct. I do have something for you guys,” Dick chimes with a playful smile and Jason shakes his head.

“Fine, I’ll play. What do you want?” Jason asked, moving to stand beside where you were seated at the computer.

“Batman is already on-sight but there was a major crash right on the edge of Gotham. It seems like it’s from space,” Dick teases, and your lips part in excitement as you turn to Jason.

“You had to say space, didn’t you?” Jason sighed looking at you and then to Dick.

“C’mon, Jase, please!” you pleaded.

“If you’re going to go, you should hurry, I think Batman’s gonna call Green Lantern,” a new face appeared on screen, Tim Drake, or Red Robin.

“You know you both are enabling her?” Jason says to his brothers as you shot up from your chair to grab your gear.

“Not our fault your partner’s cooler than you,” Tim smirks.

“You keep this shit up, Timbers, watch what happens,” Jason growled.

You slung your leather jacket on and put on your utility belt before moving back to the screen to grab your phone. “I will leave you here Jason,” you tell him as you slip the device into a lined pocket on the inside of your jacket.

“Damnit, (Y/n), just give me a second,” he sighed, moving from the screen.

“Thanks for the tip, Batcave,” you smile at the two.

“We know you’re a bit of an astrophile,” Dick smiled kindly.

“Yeah, you space-loving geek. What a nerd,” Tim snorted, rolling his eyes in amusement.

“See ya, boys,” you smiled into the camera, “Outlaws, out,” you finished before shutting the call off.

“I don’t understand your obsession with space,” Jason commented as you both mounted your bikes.

“My obsession? Really?” you shoot him a look as you tap your choker, the nanotechnology there crawled over your face producing a helmet of sorts.

“Hey some people like Disney, you like space, I’m not judging, I just don’t get it,” he sighed.

Revving your engine you look over to your partner, “What’s not to get?” you ask, voice slightly distorted before taking off.

By the time you arrived at the crash site, Green Lantern was there talking with Batman, “And here I thought I’d be able to get through a week without having to see him,” Jason drawled and your nanotech helmet dissolved once more leaving you with just your domino mask and choker.

“Play nice, I want to see the spaceship,” you warn your best friend.

You couldn’t see his eyes due to the red helmet but you were positive he was rolling them at your antics. Looping your arm with his you pulled Jason over to where GL and B were.

“Red Hood, I didn’t expect to see you here,” Batman’s eyes narrowed on the two of you.

“Yeah, it’s nice to see you too, Bats,” you smile at the dark knight.

“What are you doing here?” he pressed, pushing past your antics.

“Why can’t we just be doing our jobs as vigilantes to check in on crashes, like this one?” Jason asked, nonchalantly, and while the two leaguers turned to the man with the red helmet, you carefully slipped away.

You had been learning from Jason a lot lately, watching the way he walked, for someone so large and well built, he made virtually no sound. So, as light as you could, you slunk away from the three in discussion and closer to the crash site. The first thing you noticed was that there was a lot of smoke. You pulled your jacket off your body and bundled it up a bit to make a breathable mask for the moment being as you crept through. You also made a mental note to add filters to your helmet for future events like this. You weren’t really sure what you were looking for, but you kept moving, and all of a sudden you found yourself by what had to be the cockpit of his small ship.

“Damnit, (y/n), you couldn’t wait a few minutes?” Jason’s voice crackled over the comms.

You were about to respond when you saw something shift through the smoke, “Holy shit. Red, I think there’s someone alive in the crash,” you said instead, creeping ever closer to the crash.

“What?” he shot back.

“Someone or something alive is in this wreckage, Jase,” you repeat.

“Wait for me,” Jason pleads.

“Fat chance, Red Hood. Hurry up,” you decide as you find an opening.

Carefully you move through the ship, it was about the size of a shipping container, but it had broken into pieces in the crash.

“Hello?” you shouted, squinting through the smoke. “Is someone there?”

There was a flash of white light and a hushed whisper. Definitely a voice, maybe two, but you couldn’t make out what they were saying. Biting down on your lip you surged forwards. Once you cleared a very thick plume of smoke you found what you had been looking for. A body.

It was alien, without a doubt, and he was clad in a white uniform that you most definitely recognized.

“Jase?” you tapped on the comms line, with wide eyes, as you stared at the creature.

Whatever it was, it was bleeding purple blood and its eyes were shut.

“What? What’d you find?” he asked, you could hear him panting a bit.

“It’s a Lantern, I have absolutely no clue what race, but it’s definitely a Lantern,” you shared, but your eyes were analyzing the suit, it was different from the ones you’d see from the Green Lanterns, this one was white, but the design was basically the same.

“What? GL said that no other members of the Green Lantern Corps were detected on Earth,” Jason’s voice crackled a bit.

“I never said it was green,” you shoot back.

Suddenly the being coughed and its eyes opened wide, you surged forward, towards the being, dropping your jacket and your hands moving to the spots that were bleeding.

“Just hold on, alright, help will be here soon,” you whispered as you tried to help the alien.

It’s vibrant purple eyes, focused on you, as you hoped that their physiology was something like your own.

“A Terran, how unforeseen,” it spoke softly and your eyes widened.

This alien whatever it was, was speaking straight into your head.

“Forgive me, but by connecting us, I can assure a clean understanding without a language barrier,” it continued.

“Oh, okay, sure,” you swallowed, even though you really had no clue what was happening.

“I’m afraid, Terran, I will not make it through this,” the being let out what seemed to be a sigh.

“I don’t really know how to help,” you admit.

“Tell me, Terran, do you love? Have you compassion? Hope? Are there things you fear? Things you wish to claim for yourself? Are you angry? Do you possess the strength to balance all of these emotions?” the creature’s voice was gravelly in your mind but you kept your place.

“I-I mean I guess so?” you offered. “Doesn’t everybody?”

“Hmm, show me. Show me the things that you relate to these emotions,” it pushed. “Begin with Anger.”

A memory flashed before your eyes, the night you met Jason. You had just started the vigilante thing when you saw a couple kids getting cornered in crime alley. Some gang that was trying to recruit them had backed them into a dead end. You had left them knocked out and zip tied to a wall with a note for the cops. But those kids, you made sure they were okay, it pissed you off to see good kids stuck in crappy situations, and there were so many of them.

“Hmm, angry for the violence and pain inflicted on others? Interesting,” it hummed, “now, what of greed?” your surprise was definitely clear, this thing, whatever it was, was reading your mind.

This time the memory was the first time you walked through Wayne Manor. It was so huge, and everything you had dreamed about as a kid on the streets. Something that you had always wanted, a life of luxury, and yet it seemed so foreign, it still did.

“What do you fear?”

You saw Jason bleeding on your sofa, two bullet wounds, a cut. You weren’t much better, the two of you had barely made it out of this last fight with your lives. You remembered the day so vividly because Jason had almost died trying to save you.

“And hope, do you possess the purest of all?” he continued.

There’s a little girl on her dad’s shoulders, they’re at the park, she’s giggling and he’s smiling up at her. Jason, Roy, and Kori were with you, the group had decided to take a chill day. There were cups of lemonade, a couple of books, a speaker and you were lounging about in one of the rare sunny days here in Gotham. These were the days that reminded you why you fought so hard, they reminded you of what you were protecting.

“What is compassion, Terran?

It’s almost funny what memory surfaces this time. You’re leaning back against a brick wall in the Narrows, eyes bright as you keep watch. Jason’s crouched down with a bunch of kids around him. He’s giving them lollipops, clothes, blankets; all in all, about a grand’s worth of stuff. You knew that because it was money you had raided from Black Mask a few days earlier.

“Why are you asking me these things? Who are you? What are you?” you interrupted, this thing was reading your mind, and you were trying your best to force it out.

“I will answer your questions, but there is one more. Do you have one to love?” it asked and your breath hitched, because you knew exactly where that would send you.

You saw yourself back at the hideout with Jason; cleaning guns, sharpening blades, watching a movie, and passing out together on the sofa. He was all you needed.

“Hmm, how interesting. Maybe you Terrans have an inaccurate reputation,” it hummed. “You will make an excellent choice.”

“What are you talking about?”

“My name is Ophelius, I am the last ring-bearer of the White Lanterns. And you, you will be my successor,” Ophelius shared and your eyes bulged. “What is your name, Terran?

“Woah, what?”

“Your name,” he pushed.

“(Y/n),” you answered and he nodded.

“A white lantern must embody all the emotions, all the spectrums of the light. You must feel everything, and most of all, you must balance them. Your emotions will be your saving grace but lose balance, fall unevenly to any and you will destroy yourself and everything around you,” he warned.

“Ophelius, just hold on. A Green Lantern is on the way, he’ll be able to save you,” you tried to reason.

“No, there is no time to wait for Oa’s warrior. Listen to me Terran, remember these words, they will be your connection to all those before you, to the power of the light, and to the balance within,” Ophelius warned and he raised his hand to you, four fingers of light green skin, one of which was adorned with a white ring.

“In brightest day there will be light,” he said solemnly and the ring began to glow with a bright white light. “To cleanse the soul and set wrongs right,” he continued and the ring slowly lifted from his finger. “When darkness falls, look to the skies,” it spun carefully in the air, enveloping you and Ophelius in this white light. “A new dawn comes,” the ring placed itself on your finger, “let there be light,” Ophelius finished and the light died away, leaving you in white and Ophelius who looked even paler than before.

“Ophelius,” you muttered his name carefully.

“Be the brightest of lights, (y/n),” he whispered once more and he fell back gently against the ground.

“(Y/n)!” you heard Jason shout your name but your eyes stayed glued to the now-dead alien.

“(Y/n)!” that was Green Lantern’s voice.

“Damnit, (Y/n), where are you?” Jason called out again.

“Ophelius?” you whispered his name but there was no response, the alien was dead and he had left you with the last ring of the White Lanterns.

A hand landed on your shoulder and as you turned your eyes met the cowl covered ones of the Batman. His costume was such a stark contrast to what you were now wearing. Your previous attire had been your costume, a black armour-padded halter top, utility belt, military-grade camoflauge-printted dark cargo pants with a kevlar weave and combat boots. Now? Now you were wearing the exact same thing in white, but it felt different somehow, like there was something thrumming in each thread.

“Here,” the Bat’s gravelly voice called out.

A second later Jason came bounding through the smoke, the Green Lantern right behind him. GL’s eyes narrowed on the alien and then on you.

“That’s impossible,” he muttered.

“Woah,” Jason noted.

“He’s dead,” you whispered, staring at the pale alien and straight into his lifeless purple eyes.

“(Y/n)?” Jason crept closer and squatted down beside you.

“I didn’t think he was going to die,” you whispered, looking at the alien and then to your hands which were covered in his purple blood.

“Hey, doll,” Jason said the term softly, forcing you to look at him, “what’s going on in your head?”

“I just wanted to see the spaceship,” you admitted turning to Jason with glassy eyes.

“What did he say?” Green Lantern interrupted.

“Be the light,” you muttered.

“What?” GL pressed.

“He told me to be the light,” you repeated, eyes still glued to the dead alien.

Shakily you reached your hand out, and gently you shut the alien’s eyes, a tear slipping down your cheek, Ophelius had read our life in seconds, but his presence was still so fresh in your mind, it hurt more than you were expecting when he died.

“We need to debrief her at the Watchtower, now,” Green Lantern pushed.

“No, you need to back off,” Jason growled suddenly.

“Hood, stand down,” Batman warned.

“Back off, old man,” Jason threatened, standing back up. “She’s in shock, you robots!”

“Red,” your hand automatically moves towards his side. Gently it rests against his hip and he turns to you. “Hood,” your fingers grip into one of his thigh holsters, needing something to hold onto.

“Let’s go,” Jason huffed.

He grabbed your hand, not caring about the purple blood now on his own hands and suit, and helped you up, one hand went to your back almost immediately as he forced you to move forward.

“Jase,” you said his name softly as he pulled you away from Ophelius’ body. “Jay, stop,” you fight his hand as you force him to stop moving.

“What, doll? What is it?” he asked, hands moving to your arms.

“We have to go with them,” you mutter.

“No way. We’re not doing their dance, not today, not now,” he argued.

Your gaze dropped to your stained hands, and the ring now on your finger, “we have to.”

Safe to say Jason was not pleased to end up in the Batcave twenty minutes later. Sure, it was better than the Watchtower, but it was still more than he wanted. But you were going, and if you were going then so was he. You were his partner and there was no way he was going to leave you in any Justice League madness on your own. Your hands were still stained purple, he hadn’t even given you a chance to clean up before deciding to start the lecture. Surprisingly, it wasn’t Batman, this time it was GL.

“-absolutely reckless, going out on your own into an uncleared sight. Touching an alien that you didn’t know, talking with it instead of calling us? I mean what kind of bullheaded move is that!” you would have laughed if he wasn’t yelling at you. Hal Jordan was usually one of the more relaxed Leaguers, so this was very uncharacteristic.

“Give it a rest, Hal,” Jason finally groaned.

“I haven’t even gotten to you, yet, I mean you let her wander off,” Hal reared.

“I let her?” Jason scoffed. “In case you missed it, she’s a fully grown woman!” Jason shot back.

“Oh, for the love of god,” you interrupted. “Are you going to help me or not, Hal?” you asked him, hands flat on the table while you stood, looking at him definitely, everybody’s masks were off at this point as you addressed each other.

GL seemed taken aback by your abrupt interruption because for a second he just gaped.

“Oh, now he has nothing to say,” Jason scoffed and you leveled your best friend with a look.

“Jason, not helping,” you tell him, he simply sighed and sat back down.

“Look, Hal, this happened and you know better than anyone whether we want it or not, this ring is mine, so you can help me or you can get out of my way,” you lamented, and he sighed, shoulders dropping.

“You don’t understand,” he shared.

“Understand what?” you pressed.

“The White Lantern’s were supposed to be extinct. The power that comes with a White Lantern’s Light is categorically insurmountable,” he explained and your brows furrowed.

“What?” you repeated.

“You encompass all the colors, (y/n)! All of them! As a Green Lantern I focus on the powers of Green. We are the middle of the spectrum, we maintain the balance, but white? White is all the colors, you can’t focus solely on one in risk of losing balance. You have to learn to balance it all.”

“She can do it,” Jason argued.

“It takes years!” Hal shot back, “She doesn’t even know the Lantern’s spectrum!” he negated and your brain made the connection.

“Love, Compassion, Hope, Fear, Greed, and Anger,” you mutter.

“What did you say?” GL’s head snapped back to you in seconds.

“That’s what he asked me about, he read my mind, looked into my memories. Specifically of Love, Compassion, Hope, Fear, Greed, and Anger,” you tell them, and Hal finally shuts his mouth.

“What else did he say?” Batman spoke up for the first time since arriving back at the cave, his cowl was off as he stared at you.

“A mantra,” you tell him.

“A mantra?” Jason repeated, eyebrow quirked.

“In brightest day there will be light, to cleanse the soul, and set wrongs right. When darkness falls, look to the skies. A new dawn comes, let there be light,” you repeat, the words tugging at your gut as your fingers fidget with the new ring.

“Sounds familiar,” Bruce noted, turning his attention back to the Green Lantern.

Hal ran a hand over his face and groaned.

“I don’t get it,” you admit.

“The ring is only part of it,” He begins, unsurely. “It’s powerful, sure, but most of the colored lantern corps need to recharge the ring with a battery. We all have a, how’d you call it, a mantra? Yeah, we all have one. It’s different for each spectrum, and we use it to pull the energy from the battery to the rings, but a white lantern is different, there is no battery,” he explained and your brows furrowed.

“Okay… so how do I recharge?” you asked.

“Through your own energy,” Hal admits and you blink at him.

“What, like draining her own life source?” Jason scoffed.

“Not exactly, it’s supposed to be more like channeling the different emotions into energy for the rings, if done right there should be no negative side effects. But like I stated she’s not prepared, it can take years to learn how to channel your energy the right way, and if she’s not, she could kill herself.”

“That’s not terrifying at all,” you sarcastically assure Hal.

“Hey, I’m not the one who told you to run off!” he countered. “You were irresponsible! And reckless! Honestly, what were you thinking, galavanting off into some crash before the smoke’s even cleared!” he's shouting again and it’s starting to piss you off.

Your fist clenches and then you’re standing up again, “Stop shouting at me!”

Your chest is heaving as you glare at the lantern, but instead of glaring back at you, he’s staring with wide eyes.

“Woah,” Jason's murmur is what pulls your attention.

“What?” you snap, gaze shifting to him.

“Doll,” Jason’s voice was as soft as it’s ever been, “you’re glowing.”

Jason’s eyes were also a bit wide and when you stared down at your hands, you saw that he was right. A sort of white glow seemed to be emanating from your body, in fact it was lighting up the whole cave.

“I- I don’t-” you stuttered.

“This is what I’m talking about, you’re not balancing your emotions!” Hal began again. “You’re letting the Entity take control!”

“Hal,” Bruce finally spoke up, effectively stopping the lantern. He stalked closer to you and a heavy hand came down on your shoulder. You met his eyes and he nodded gently, “take a breath, (Y/n),” he instructed. You nodded and took a deep inhale. “Again,” he told you once you had exhaled, and you followed his instructions.

You repeated the process a few times but you noticed as the light began to fade and your heart rate settled.

He turned to Hal, “Control is teachable, Hal. Curiosity isn’t,” he reminded him.

You stared at Bruce for a second, there were moments when you could see the dad in him showing, and you could never reconcile that version of him with the Bat. They seemed like two completely different people, it was easy to understand Jason’s irritation. Living with someone who could be so different depending on the hour would take a toll on anyone for sure. Your gaze shifted from Bruce to Hal with a furrowed brow, “What Entity?” you press.

“What?” he stuttered.

“You said that the Entity was taking control, what Entity?” you asked.

Hal sighed before finally collapsing in a chair, “The White Lanterns are the physical embodiment of the Entity, which is the power of life itself. White Lanterns are dangerous and unpredictable, Kyle was closest we’ve ever seen to a true White Lantern. But even then, he was a Green Lantern first, and the Entity reverted him back to the Green Lanterns after. You’re wearing the first real White Lantern ring I’ve ever seen. It’s not like the ones Kyle created, and that’s alarming because it just reminds me that there is so much we don’t know about White Lanterns.”

“So you’re saying that the force behind the White Lanterns is life itself, and it manifests as an Entity which has no real form but white light. Which is why it needs me, a ring bearer?” you surmise, squinting at Hal as you put things together.

“Yes,” he nods and you turn back to Bruce.

“What do you think?” you asked him seriously and Bruce just stared at you.

You may not be his biggest fan most days, but there was no doubt that Bruce Wayne was a brilliant critical thinker, and if anyone could help you right now, it was going to be him. “I think the rings choose the wearer. Meaning nothing short of killing you will result in removing the ring’s attachment to you,” he begins and your brow quirked.

“We are not killing her!” Jason interrupted, and the corners of your lips quirked.

“There’s only one thing to do, train,” Bruce agreed with a small smirk.

“Train?” you repeat.

“And who do you think is going to train her?” Hal interrupted.

“I’d expect it to be you, Jordan, or any of your counterparts, though I do feel both you and John Stewart would have better luck when compared to Guy Gardner, Jessica Cruz and Kyle Rayner,” Bruce shot back and Hal’s eyes blew wide.

“Me?” Hal shot back. “What do I know about training anyone?” he scoffed.

“There’s a learning curve,” Bruce shrugged, eyes lingering on Jason for a second.

“Your nonchalance is inspiring,” you muse, eyes darting over to Jason who was now focused on Hal.

“No dead birds, Jordan,” Jason warns, and you almost choke on your responding laugh.

...

a/n: ps: i know i play a little fast and loose with the lantern rules, im open to suggestions!

everything tags: @butterfly-skinnylegend

dc taglist: @batarella @loninctzencarat @escapenightmare @uh-oh-howd-i-get-here

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withwritersblock · 7 months ago

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Halloween

~Halloween by Phoebe Bridgers~

Author's Note: requested! thehehe blurb :) Summary: Cole and Y/N figure out their Halloween costume for the annual Habs party Warnings: implied smut, Word Count: 769 Cole Caufield x fm!reader

“No, no, Cole we are not dressing up as that, who do you think I am?” she explained while laughing. He tilted his head back chuckling as he continued to scroll through Google photos.

“Okay fine, what about like Peter Pan and TinkerBell? That could be fun,” Cole mumbled as he tilted his head back. She shook her head.

“Why is this so hard,” she groaned as she ran her fingers through her hair. “We did Disney last year, we can’t do it back-to-back,” she turned and met his gaze. He smirked as his cheeks pinked up.

His gaze lowered towards her lips. “Does that really matter?” he asked. Her lips fell into a pout. Cole rolled his eyes playfully as he chuckled, “I guess it does,” he mumbled. He took in a deep breath. “What do you have in mind, my love?” he questioned as he leaned back, resting his hands onto his thighs.

She leaned into him, peaking towards the computer. She scrolled for a few seconds, looking at all of the couple costumes on the screen. Many were too sexy and filled with innuendos.

“What if we were Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce?” she asked hopeful.

“No! No, we’re not doing that,” Cole shut down instantly.

“Cole,” she whined.

“You expect me to put on a Cheifs jersey? Really?” Cole said while shaking his head.

“It’s one Halloween party, baby!” she whined, she rested her hands onto his shoulder, turning him towards her. He continued to shake his head.

“I am a Packers fan and you expect me to wear a Cheifs jersey, that’s like asking me to wear a Bruins jersey,”

“It is definitely not the same thing as that,” she mumbled. She stepped toward him, he opened his legs, allowing her to step closer to him. She slowly wrapped her arms around his neck. He continued to shake his head.

“I’m sorry, baby, my blood bleeds green and yellow, I can’t with good faith put that jersey on,” he explained as he wrapped his arms around her waist. Her lips fell into a pout, as she tilted her head to the side.

“Go Pack go, go Pack go, go Pack go-” he whispered as he raised his fist up in the air, pretending to chant. She rolled her eyes playfully as she tilted her head back giggling.

“Stop it,” she let out laughing.

He dragged his tongue across his bottom lip before he pressed them together. He pulled her closer to him. He leaned towards her, kissing her softly for a moment before he slowly pulled away, keeping his eyes closed.

She pecked his lips a few times before she fully leaned away from him. His hands subconsciously slid up her shirt, resting his cold hands onto the small of her back. He tapped his fingers delicately against her skin.

“Then give me other ideas,” she whined as ran her hands along the base of his neck.

“Okay, rapid fire?” he let out. She nodded encouragingly. “Okay, Barbie and Ken or Batman and Batwoman, or Mario and Princess Peach, or Stu and Tatum-”

“Wait really?” she asked excitedly. He pulled his head back slightly, a smirk toying to his lips. Slowly, he wrapped his hands onto her hips, squeezing her skin tightly for a few seconds.

“What, are you into that or something?” he asked teasingly.

“We’re not-no we’re not going to talk about that,” she let out, lowering her gaze towards the logo on his hoodie. “That could be really fun! I gotta find a wig,” she said excitedly as she slipped away from his grasp.

“Can’t you just do the-ya know-those pigtails,” he offered, he nervously ran his hand across the base of his neck. She spun around meeting his gaze suspiciously.

“What, are you into that or something?” she said mocking him. He rolled his eyes as he followed afer her.

“Do I get the mask or do I just go with the sweater?” he asked as he ran his hands together.

“Is that even a question, baby?” she offered as a giggle fell from her lips.

“So you are into it!” he teased.

“I didn’t say that!” she called out as she jogged away from him. He reached towards her and took a hold of her waist, pulling her towards him. “I didn’t say that,” she whispered. He leaned towards her, pressing his lips against her neck.

“I guess we’ll find out after the party, huh?” he whispered.

“Oh whatever,” she mumbled as she spun around, she rested her hands onto his cheeks. He leaned towards her kissing her urgently.

#cole caufield fluff #cole caufield x reader #cole caufield imagine #cole caufield imagines #cole caufield #nhl imagines #nhl #nhl x reader #nhl fic #hockey #montreal canadiens x reader #montreal canadiens imagines #montreal canadiens

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hanihazeljade · 8 months ago

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Tim Drake as a Rogue "Ursula"

Ursula is known as the sea witch who grants wishes to mers who is desperate enough to ask her to grant their wishes. Ursula is often portray as a mean and bitter octopus who hold grudge to her dearest brother.

And who is more fit to become the Ursula of Gotham City than the Mad Bat himself, Tim Drake.

(CW: Cursing, Disney Plot)

Next - Ursula 2

Tim doesn't want to come back as a vigilante. He rather be a dropped out high school that found a 9-5 job as he was subbing for Bruce as he recuperate on his travels in time.

He finished his job. He is not Robin anymore and he will never go back at being Robin, so that he could be tossed out once he was no longer needed.

He doesn't even want to be associated with the bats and it's colleagues but he can never ignore the pleads of the people of Gotham. Especially, the one who is "desperates", that people who have nobody that believes in them.

So, therefore, he weave a new persona. The one who everyone avoids until they used up all of their choices. The one that is supposed to be left alone, or else you are risking yourself to the cruel contracts.

He became Ursula of Gotham. With his already pale skin, he can easily stain his skin with a sheen shade of blue and he acquired a white human hair wig that he tied in an elaborate ponytail. And of course, you cannot forgot the blood red lips. And knowing some ancient curses is handy and one of the advantages he had for having archaeologists.

Tim is having fun being Ursula. Seeing the vulnerable souls come to him and he gave them adequate contracts while those who tried to manipulate him, let's just say that they got what is equivalent of turning into a sea foam.

Ursula, the wicked witch— what the others dubbed him, has a permanent residence in the Tricorner Island. Many will tell him that he is being an idiot as it was the island that also residence the Gotham City Police Department, but you know what they said, the most dangerous place is where the safety exactly is .

As months pass by, he was establishing himself as the largest shareholder of Wayne Enterprise and putting the fear of him among the WE board. It was a hard feat as some old fossils tried to question his credibility but he quickly shut those down. He understand them as he was just nothing but a dropout highschool student and was employed through nepotism. But with his knowledge on how to fuck with Lex Luthor payed off as he can very much see the fear on those old cunts every time he bring up their bullshit plans for the Wayne Enterprise.

And also in the works of establishing the wicked witch of Tricorner Island, but even with the GCPD in his tail, he was doing nothing illegal, except for some murders here and there — not like the bats will care, he is a rogue not a vigilante, he was now one of the established not to fucked with together with Black Mask, Maroni and Falcone.

Of course he is not going unnoticed by the big bad bat himself. He was doing his own deals when suddenly his door got blown up by the Batman the Second and Robin with swords. He was in the middle of keeping the poor lady on signing her contract.

"I am sorry, young Aisha. It seems like the big old bat has something to say to me, come back tomorrow." Tim, or rather Ursula, said as his piercing blue eyes gazed to the pair. He can see the Batman shivered a little bit in his glare.

As the young lady, was now out of the premises, he looks at the pair with degrading look like how Ursula looks at everyone else.

"Well, pray tell, big bat and brat, how could this poor thing could help you." he rolled his eyes.

"What is your deal?"

Ursula gasped, "I am just trying to help some poor unfortunate souls. I am doing a great charity, I believe."

"Cut the flowery words, Ursula. We don't believe in every single words you've said."

"Well, have I done anything wrong? I am just helping."

"Helping but most of your clients disappear, like a sea foam."

Ursula chuckled, "Now, you are coining a little bit too much to Disney. I am nothing but a human, not even a meta."

"Then how— Robin!" Batman was supposed to further the interrogation but the Robin beside him suddenly shank Ursula, clearly his patience run out.

Ursula grabbed the nearest thing and coincidentally, it was a broom. But still, a wooden broom has nothing compare to the steel swords of the brat. So Ursula, did as any regular people would do and grabbed the kid's hood and spray him with pepper spray that he grabbed somewhere.

He released the kid after knowing that brat inhale too much as he start to coughed so bad. He sighed heavily, "This is why Gotham has so much desperate souls, the knight that was supposed to be protecting us was accompanied by a violent demon. The previous one was more tolerable than any of you." he said and aimed the pepper spray towards Batman, "Leave."

"We are not done, Ursula." Batman said as he carried the coughing Robin out of his residence.

Ursula smirked, "It seems like Batman doesn't recognise who Ursula is."

#tim drake #fanfic #chaotic tim drake #unhinged tim drake #timothy jackson drake #dcu #damian wayne #dick grayson #tim drake as rogue

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annachum · 2 years ago

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👏👏👏👏👏

Looks like Rachel Zegler is biting the hand that feeds her…. or should I say apple?!?

I want to make it clear that I am in no way against a latina woman playing snow white. If you have any negative opinions concerning her ethnicity I would recommend you find another post. Rachel is a very talented and beautiful actress. She has been in many fan favorite movies such as: Paddington, Shazam, and Westside story. Rachel Zegler is also set to be starring in the new Hunger Games movie: The Ballad of the Songbirds and Snakes. However, her attitude towards the iconic original Snow White is just NOT it.

Why is Snow White so important?

Snow White, a sweet lovable princess, was the first princess to be made by Walt Disney. What makes her movie incredibly special is that it is the first full-length animated movie in history. She paved the way for all other princesses to be made. She really is the “it” girl. Snow White teaches compassion, kindness, patience and prosperity. She is loved by all! Well, All except the evil queen and Rachel Zegler…

In a recent interview Rachel has made comments on the films outdated values and lesson. She makes a point saying “shes not going to be saved by the prince, and shes not going to be dreaming about true love.” News flash Disney!! You don’t need to change old animated movies to SEEM progressive. It is 2023 women can win and have a smoking hot bf (or gf) next to them while doing it. One of THE BEST princess of all time did both a career and love. Of course I’m talking about my girl Tiana!!! She never needed a man. She was fine working for what she got, but found love along the way. There is no shame in finding love. After all, isn’t that just what life is all about?!

Anywho! That was just my 2 cents. Let me know what else you think down below!!

English isn’t my first language so if there are grammar mistakes Id love to hear any constructive criticism!!

#THIS #i was actually happy when Rachel zegler was cast #i mean she is talented so #but the second gal was casted as evil queen #i have a gut feeling that its gonna be a train wreck #i dont even wanna watch anything with gal in it since i saw her bland af performance in batman v supes #death on the nile is the only exception cuz i love me a great poirot movie #and the rest of that cast are WONDERFULLY talented actors and actresses #rachel zegler's degrading the og snow white also dont help #walt is rolling in his grave at that #fyi he literally GAVE HIS ALL making his first ever animated movie aka THE FIRST EVER ANIMATED MOVIE IN DISNEY

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idrawweirdstuffnominors · 1 month ago

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I just got done reading the step mom fic, and it got me thinking how the boys would react to being a stepdad

Alr that's it I love your work. bye 👁️👁️

(I love a swapsie lol like the undertale aus also thank you so much <3

The Eltingville boys as stepdads

Bill dickey-

Bill Dickey as a Stepdad (Co-Parenting Edition):

Initial Reaction: When you first told Bill you had a daughter from a previous relationship, he scoffed. “Great. Another mouth to feed and someone else who’s gonna tell me I’m wrong all the time.” But secretly? He was intrigued. He likes being the guy with knowledge. Maybe he could raise a geek who didn’t suck.

Bonding Tactics: He tries to bond by forcing her to watch all 14 hours of The Lord of the Rings Extended Editions in one sitting. She’s seven. She cries during the second orc decapitation. He pauses the movie, grabs her shoulders and says, “No daughter of mine is gonna be a normie, okay?! You wanna live in a society? Then get cultured!”

Parenting Style: Absolutely unfiltered. Yells about “participation trophies” and “woke kindergarten.” If a teacher gives her a B+, he’s writing a 3-page email about academic standards and how Blade Runner had more depth than the entire curriculum. Signs it with “Sincerely, a concerned father and science fiction historian.”

At the Park: Other parents whisper. He’s the guy screaming “IT’S CALLED DEFENSE, MORON!” during a pee-wee soccer game. Your daughter just stands there in the field like, “Jesus Christ.” You threaten to bench him from events, and he grumbles about “censorship.”

Discipline: Somehow both too harsh and a total pushover. He’ll scream about respect and grounding, then an hour later he’s in her room ranting about how “Leia should’ve had her own trilogy” and giving her the Funko Pop he said she couldn’t have.

Arguments with You: Loud, full of sarcasm, usually end with him pacing in a graphic tee muttering “This is why people don’t stay together anymore, nobody appreciates a damn thing…” Then he sees your kid sad about the yelling and awkwardly offers her a comic book. “It’s a mint condition 1993 reprint. Don’t touch it, just look.”

Co-Parenting With You: It’s messy, but he shows up. He brings lunch to school (always themed like Star Wars Day or Batman), he picks her up in his disaster of a car blasting prog rock, he’ll drive across town for the last copy of the Pokémon plush she wants. If anyone makes your daughter cry, he’s outside that house in a trench coat and foam bat, screaming at the clouds.

Secret Softness: Thinks she’s the only person with any brains. Once told her bedtime stories using Dune lore. Taught her how to sort comics by condition. Has a drawing she made of the two of you framed under glass—claims it’s “for tax reasons,” but refuses to let it leave the wall.

Final Verdict: He’s the loudest, most obnoxious, least tactful stepdad in existence. But he cares hard. Under the sarcasm and screaming is a nerd who doesn’t know how to love softly—but he’s trying. In his own batshit way, he loves your daughter like she’s his player 2.

“The Princess Problem”

Saturday morning. You’re already bracing yourself.

You hear the stomping first—your daughter’s light, angry steps down the hallway. Then the heavier, more dramatic stomping. Bill’s.

Your seven-year-old barrels into the kitchen, pouting and crossing her arms. Bill storms in behind her, looking personally offended by the concept of life.

“She said Cinderella’s the best Disney princess,” he growls, pointing like he’s calling out a war crime. “I told her that’s propaganda for passive female leads. And now I’m the bad guy?!”

You set your coffee down slowly. “Bill… she’s seven.”

“Yeah, well, someone has to teach her media literacy before she grows up thinking Pixar is the peak of cinema,” he snaps, pacing in his Skeletor slippers. “I suggested She-Ra. You know, strong female lead. Sword. Sci-fi. Culture. And she called me—” he deepens his voice into a kid-mocking register— “‘a nerdy meanface.’”

Your daughter looks triumphant. “Because you are!”

“Okay, timeout,” you sigh, stepping between them like a ref at Comic-Con Fight Club. “Bill, you’re arguing with a child. Again. And you’re losing.”

“I’m not losing,” he grumbles. “I’m just—ugh—choosing to disengage. Like Picard.”

You crouch in front of your daughter. “Sweetie, Bill has… weird opinions. But it doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.”

“Then why’d he take my Elsa doll and say she needed a rewrite?”

Bill waves a finger. “Because the plot arc was inconsistent! If you're gonna have ice powers, learn some combat tactics! It’s basic hero progression!”

Your daughter makes a face. You shoot Bill a look.

He groans and drops onto a kitchen chair. “Okay, okay, look… maybe I was a little harsh. I just want her to grow up with taste, alright? I don’t want to live in a world where my kid idolizes someone who leaves her shoe behind like a moron.”

“She’s fictional, Bill,” you hiss, rubbing your temple.

He looks at your daughter, scratches the back of his neck. “Listen, kid… if you wanna like Cinderella, fine. But can we agree Mulan kicks more ass?”

Your daughter eyes him warily, then nods. “Only if I can watch Encanto without you calling it ‘emotionally manipulative fluff.’”

Bill sighs, defeated. “...Deal.”

You smile. Bill grumbles something under his breath about Bruno and sits back with his coffee. Your daughter skips off, victorious.

You look at him. “You really are a nerdy meanface.”

“Yeah,” he says, but there’s a faint smile tugging at the edge of his scowl. “But I’m her nerdy meanface.”

Pete DiNunzio-

Pete DiNunzio as Your Daughter’s Stepdad – Co-Parenting Headcanons

Pete didn’t ask to be a stepdad, but when he got involved with you, it wasn’t a dealbreaker either. He just shrugged and said, “Whatever. I ain’t gonna be like those deadbeat clowns on daytime TV.”

He’s not great with kids at first. He’s awkward, impatient, and swears a lot until you start shooting him death glares every time he drops an f-bomb in front of her. Eventually, he swaps in things like “friggin’”, “crapweasel”, or “son of a—whatever.”

Lowkey hyper-protective. If your daughter gets picked on or someone hurts her feelings, Pete’s pacing in the living room like, “Give me a name. First and last. I’ll find their parents. I got time.”

He’s a sucker for movie nights with her, even if he complains about the choice. “You’re killin’ me with this Disney crap, kid. You got taste in there somewhere, right?” But then he ends up quoting the songs under his breath.

When co-parenting with you, he’s blunt to the point of pain. “Look, I’m not sugarcoatin’ nothin’. If she messed up, I’m sayin’ it. If you messed up, I’m sayin’ that too.” But if things get heated between you two, he always calms down first—gritting his teeth and saying, “Alright, alright. Let’s talk like humans. I ain’t tryin’ to screw this kid up.”

He’s got a soft spot for watching her draw or do crafts. He acts like he’s not interested—“What is that supposed to be, a freakin’ horse?”—but he saves the doodles she gives him and tacks them on the fridge behind pizza menus.

If her biological dad is still in the picture, Pete is tense about it. He won’t pick fights, but the energy’s thick. “Long as he don’t screw her up or treat you like crap, I ain’t got nothin’ to say… but I will be watchin’.”

He teaches her how to stick up for herself in his own gruff way. “Listen, sweetheart, you don’t let nobody talk down to you, got it? You walk tall, you speak loud, and you punch last if you gotta.”

Deep down, he’s honored when she calls him “Dad” for the first time—even if he just nods and goes, “...Yeah. Cool. That’s cool.”

"You Look Beautiful, Princess Pete"

Pete DiNunzio sat on the couch with his arms crossed and a grimace like he just bit into a lemon. A sheer, glittery pink scarf was tied haphazardly around his neck, and there were plastic clip-on earrings clinging for dear life to his earlobes. One was shaped like a purple butterfly, the other was a heart that said “#1 Mom.”

Your daughter, five years old and full of power, stood on the coffee table wearing a tutu and holding a plastic wand like a scepter.

"You gotta be kiddin’ me," Pete muttered, staring down at his hands—which now had sparkly blue polish on two fingers and glitter smeared up his arm. “I look like a Lisa Frank hostage.”

"You look fabulous," she said with absolute confidence, waving the wand at him. "You're the princess now. Sit up straight, Princess Pete!"

Pete groaned dramatically and rolled his eyes, but didn’t move. "Look, kid, this don’t leave the house, capisce? If Bill or Josh see me like this, I’ll never hear the end of it. I got a reputation. I’m a horror guy, not a freakin’—what is this, a feather boa?!"

She nodded seriously. "It’s enchanted. It gives you the power to make people eat their vegetables."

He paused. “...Alright, maybe that’s not entirely useless.”

You peeked in from the hallway, stifling a laugh, and caught Pete adjusting the plastic tiara she had somehow jammed onto his head. It was crooked and tiny, sitting like an afterthought on his thick black hair.

"Hey," you teased, arms crossed, "Looking good, your majesty."

Pete narrowed his eyes at you. “Say one more word and I’m puttin’ glitter in your shampoo.”

Your daughter gasped. "No threatening the Queen Mother!"

Pete pointed a glittery nail at her. “This is your fault. You turned me into somethin’ outta a Lisa Rinna fever dream.”

She just grinned and clapped. “Princess Pete saves the kingdom from the evil broccoli!”

He grunted again but stood up, dramatically drawing the scarf like a cape. “Alright, alright. Broccoli’s goin’ down. But we’re havin’ pizza after this, or I’m callin’ child services.”

She giggled so hard she toppled off the table and into his arms. And Pete, still muttering about dignity and betrayal, caught her without thinking—holding her tight like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Stinkin’ kid," he said, kissing her temple. “You better remember this when I’m old and you’re pickin’ my retirement home.”

---

Josh levy-

At first, he overthinks everything.

He Googles “how to bond with your partner’s kid” at 2 a.m. and ends up down a rabbit hole of Reddit horror stories. He panics over what he’s supposed to be—dad? buddy? sci-fi sensei? The pressure low-key short-circuits his brain.

Your daughter is wary at first… and Josh completely misreads it.

She’s just quiet. Normal quiet. But Josh spirals internally: She hates me. She sees through me. She knows I cried at a Muppets movie. You have to talk him down like, “Josh, she’s ten, not Professor X.”

Once they click, it’s over. He’s done for.

It starts small—she laughs at one of his dumb impressions or gets curious about his Star Trek figurines. Josh goes from nervous outsider to full-on stepdad mode overnight. Suddenly he’s building a cardboard starship in the living room.

He gets weirdly territorial about helping with homework.

Especially if it’s science or history. He lives to explain the space race or ancient civilizations in painfully detailed tangents. You have to rescue your daughter like, “Josh, she asked about Mesopotamia, not the entire geopolitical history of irrigation.”

He never oversteps.

He constantly checks in with you and your co-parent. Like, awkwardly. “Hey, is it okay if I take her to the con this weekend? I promise it’s a PG panel. There’s puppets.” He respects the boundary between dad and stepdad, and he wants her to have stability—not confusion.

He asks your daughter for “Stepdad Performance Reviews.”

Completely unironically. Little slips of paper with questions like, Am I cool? Am I annoying? Do I smell weird? and a box for “comments & suggestions.” She once wrote, Stop quoting Data so much, and he was lowkey devastated.

He talks to her like she’s a tiny adult.

He doesn’t dumb things down—he explains everything, sometimes too much, but it makes her feel respected. If she asks a hard question, he answers it honestly but with care. “Why don’t you and Dad argue?” / “Because love doesn’t have to come with yelling, kiddo. It really doesn’t.”

He’s fiercely loyal, even when he’s unsure of his place.

The first time she calls him “Josh” instead of “Mom’s boyfriend,” he melts. The first time she calls him “my stepdad”? He has to excuse himself to the bathroom so he can cry in private and not ruin his rep.

He’ll never pretend to be her dad—but he’ll always show up like one.

Science fairs, orthodontist appointments, awkward clothing shopping—he’s there. He’s the guy holding your purse and a unicorn jacket while she tries on shoes. He's still awkward and neurotic and overthinks half his decisions, but damn if he doesn’t love her like she’s his own.

Absolutely—this has peak Josh energy: awkward, earnest, and instantly wrapped around her tiny little finger. Here’s your mini-fic:

Title: “Daddy daughter dance”

Josh was elbow-deep in a box of tangled wires, trying to fix the busted DVD player (again) because your daughter had recently discovered The Land Before Time and declared war on streaming.

That’s when she appeared in the doorway—eight years old, gap-toothed, wearing sparkly leggings and a serious expression.

Her:

“Josh?”

He froze, a cable dangling from his hand like a dead robot limb.

Josh:

“Yeah, kiddo? You want another juice box or—wait, are you mad? Is it the cables again? I swear I didn’t mean to shock myself that loud.”

She walked in, clutching a folded piece of paper behind her back. Very solemn. Like she was about to read a will.

Her:

“I need to ask you something. And you’re not allowed to laugh.”

Josh (nervously):

“I would never laugh. Except when things are funny. Or uncomfortable. Or—okay, I’ll shut up. What’s up?”

She unfolded the paper and held it out.

It was a crayon drawing—her in a purple dress, smiling wide, next to… him. Wearing a black suit (kind of) with his weird hair and a crooked bowtie. They were standing under a sign that said “Daddy-Daughter Dance!!!” in bubble letters.

He blinked at it. Twice.

Her (quietly):

“My school’s having one next weekend. I can’t go with Dad 'cause it’s not his week. And I know you’re not really my dad. But I was wondering… if you’d maybe… still wanna go? Just this once?”

Josh Levy had faced down furious internet trolls, screamed at teenagers in comic book stores, and once did a Spock impression at a funeral by accident.

But this? This broke him.

His throat went tight.

Josh:

“Kiddo… I’d be honored.”

Her face lit up like the warp core powering up.

Josh:

“Just one condition.”

She tilted her head.

Josh:

“I get to pick the tie. And I warn you—it will have planets on it.”

Her:

“Only if I get to wear glitter shoes.”

Josh:

“Deal. But if we slow dance, you have to promise not to mock my terrible rhythm.”

Her (smirking):

“No promises.”

He looked back down at the crayon drawing. Then at her. Then back at the drawing.

Josh (softly):

“Y’know… if someone told me I’d get invited to a dance by the coolest person in the house, I would’ve said they were nuts.”

She shrugged.

Her:

“You’re not that cool. You just watch cool shows.”

And then she skipped out of the room like nothing had happened, leaving Josh there with a knot in his throat and the drawing still clutched in his hands.

He whispered to no one,

“I’m gonna cry in the car.”

---

Jerry stokes-

Stepdad Jerry Stokes & Co-Parenting Headcanons

1. The Gentle Enforcer

Jerry plays “bad cop” when he needs to, but he’s never harsh. He enforces boundaries with a calm, firm voice, always kneeling to eye level with your daughter and explaining why something isn't okay. He respects your parenting style and checks in before making big discipline calls.

2. He Shows Up

School events? Doctor’s appointments? Dance recitals? He’s there—quietly supportive, maybe a little awkward at first, but eventually the teachers and other parents start recognizing him as “her dad.”

3. Bedtime Routine Buddy

Jerry reads her bedtime stories in his dry, matter-of-fact tone that somehow makes Goldilocks sound like a police report. She thinks it’s hilarious. He always stays until she falls asleep.

4. Stepdad, Not Replacement

He never tries to replace her bio dad (if he’s in the picture). Jerry’s big on respecting her emotional space. If she wants to call him “Jerry” instead of “Dad,” he’s okay with it. What matters is that she knows he’s there for her.

5. Private Co-Parenting Chats

After your daughter goes to bed, you two have nightly check-ins—sometimes wine and soft conversations, sometimes tense strategy talks if she’s having a tough time. He values your instincts and never undermines you, even if he disagrees.

6. Emotionally Attentive (in His Own Way)

Jerry’s not the most emotionally expressive, but he notices. He picks up when she’s withdrawn or off and lets you know, even if he doesn’t know how to bring it up to her directly.

7. Protective but Not Controlling

He won’t hover, but he will watch. When she hits those teen years and starts dating, he’s the quiet force on the porch with his arms crossed. Not threatening—just present.

8. Teaches Her Practical Skills

Jerry loves teaching her things she can use—bike maintenance, self-defense, how to change a tire, how to recognize manipulative behavior. He wants her to be safe, smart, and independent.

9. Holiday Traditions

He starts little traditions just for the two of them. Saturday morning pancakes. Silly Halloween costumes. A secret handshake. He puts in effort because he knows trust is earned over time.

10. The Way He Looks at You

Every time your daughter calls him “my stepdad” with pride, he gives you that look. That grateful, quiet, "thank you for letting me love her" kind of look.

“He’s Just a Little Guy, I Promise”

The living room glowed with the flicker of the TV, the epic score of The Two Towers weaving around the crackling of popcorn in a bowl between them. Jerry sat stiffly on the couch, legs awkwardly spread in his usual way, one arm slung behind the girl curled up beside him.

She had insisted on movie night. You had picked the movie. Jerry had…grumbled. A little.

Now they were an hour in, and she was nestled close, her knees tucked up under his arm like she was trying to shrink.

“Uh-oh,” Jerry murmured, catching the sudden tension in her body.

On-screen, Gollum crept out of the shadows, all twitch and hiss, big watery eyes and that cracked, feral voice.

Her fingers clutched Jerry’s hoodie.

“Hey,” he said, tilting his head down toward her. “You okay, kiddo?”

She shook her head fast, eyes glued to the screen. “He’s scary. He’s—he’s so weird-looking.”

Jerry paused the movie without asking. The screen froze on Gollum mid-snarl.

“Y’know,” he said gently, “he’s not really a bad guy. Not at first, anyway. Just… kinda messed up. Like, messed up. You ever hear that word?”

She sniffled. “Is that like... when people go through something bad and it changes their brain?”

Jerry blinked. “Yeah. Exactly. Like a detective version of you.”

That earned a tiny smile. Barely there, but it was progress.

He nudged the popcorn toward her. “You don’t gotta watch the rest if it’s too much. Or I can fast-forward when he shows up. Or…”

“Can we watch with the lights on?” she asked.

“Sure thing.” Jerry stood, flicked on the lamp in the corner. Warm, yellow safety filled the room. He came back and pulled the blanket around her tighter. “Also, I got a secret.”

She looked up at him, curious.

“I was scared of Gollum too. First time I saw him, I threw a pillow at the TV.”

Her eyes widened. “You?”

“Hey. I was nine. And very brave. Just… with a strong pillow arm.”

She giggled, the fear melting like ice cream in sunlight. Jerry leaned back and clicked play again.

“Let me know if he gets too creepy again,” he murmured. “I got the remote and the pillow.”

“And me,” she whispered, settling against him again.

Jerry blinked once. Then smiled, a small, rare curve of the mouth.

“Yeah,” he said. “I got you.”

#eltingville epilogue #the eltingville club #epilogue jerry #epilogue josh levy #epilogue bill #epilogue pete #welcome to eltingville #eltingville writing

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redhoodieone · 8 days ago

Text

You Belong With Me Part 2

A/N: Here is Part 2!!! Let me know what y’all think!!! ;)

Suffice to say, breakfast was awkward as hell. Dick wouldn’t leave me alone, Damian and Bruce kept checking up on me and made sure I was okay, and my feelings and heart for Jason broke more and more. I pushed myself further to be isolated and away from others considering I just can’t deal with anything right now. All I want to do is run to my bed, throw myself face first in my pillow, and cry like a Disney princess damn it.

Which is why I decided to go out on patrol by myself that night. Landing on top of Wayne Enterprises, I look all around for danger, but surprisingly, tonight’s calm and quiet.

“As if bad guys need a day off sometimes,” I joke to myself.

“They might.”

I turn around and am suddenly face to face with Nightwing, AKA, Dick Grayson. There’s a smirk on his face, and his dark messy hair appears messier than ever, as if he ran his hand through it a lot tonight.

“You’re out alone tonight,” Nightwing mentions.

“I don’t need a babysitter, Nightwing,” I reply in annoyance.

“I didn’t say you needed one. It’s just you shouldn’t be out on patrol alone in Gotham. Ever,” Nightwing says, before he smirks again; he’s trying very hard to butter me up. “Unless you’re Batman.”

“Unless you’re Batman,” I repeat. My lips twitch, as I fight against the smile that naturally wants to form.

“What are you doing out here alone anyways?”

“Just…because…” I weakly answer. I turn away from him. I don’t need his sympathy or lectures.

“It’s because of him, isn’t it?”

My eyes widen when Nightwing doesn’t even beat around the bush. I figured he would question me more, and bother me until I snap and give into him. But no. It’s like Dick actually wants to have this discussion with me. Right now.

“Jason’s with Isabel, Y/N. He’s clearly in love with her or he wouldn’t be with her,” Nightwing explains. “Jason’s changed a lot, Y/N. He’s not after girls for one night stands anymore. He’s changed.”

It starts to rain. I would usually rejuvenate myself in the rain, even dance like a dork, but this time, the rain adds more weight to my shoulders. The rain deepens my pain. The rain isn’t helping me.

With my back still facing him, I feel my chest hurt and tears burning in my eyes. “You don’t think I know that? We’re talking about Jason Todd. He’s not someone who sticks around for a girl unless she’s worth it,” I reply weakly, once more. “He was with Artemis before, remember? He cared for her. He really did.”

“So then why are you punishing yourself, Y/N? Why are you pining after a guy who evidently doesn’t want you?” Nightwing asks harshly, as if he can’t believe he’s asking me these questions. “If he wanted you, you would already be with him.”

“Why are you doing this, Dick? Why do you want to hurt me?” I ask. The tears fall now. I can’t help it.

“Because why would you even want him, when there’s already a guy who wants you?!” Nightwing asks loudly.

This forces me to turn around and look at Dick. The rain is falling hard on both of us. His hair and face are soaked, just like mine. I freeze up. I know about Dick’s womanizing ways. After all, he was swimming back and forth between Kori and Barbara numerous times.

“Haven’t you noticed I’ve been single for a long time now?” Nightwing asks me.

I nod my head. “I…I just figured you were on a break from either Kori or Babs.”

“I don’t want them, Y/N,” Nightwing confesses. He approaches me slowly until our faces are almost touching. “I want you, and only you.”

Then, Nightwing lowers his head and captures my lips with his. When our lips touch, I can feel a static running through my body. It wasn’t fireworks like with Jason, but the static was a strong connection; strong enough to push me to kiss Dick back. His lips are slightly chapped, but soft enough that I kiss him back with the same intensity and eagerness.

Nightwing pulls back for a second to breathe and speak. “You belong with me, Y/N,” he says, before he kisses me back harder than before.

Nightwing walks me backwards until my back hits the door that leads to the stairwell of Wayne Enterprises. He pushes himself in between my legs, until his thigh is pressing up against my clothed sex. Nightwing’s tongue softly runs along my lips, until I grant him access to my mouth. He tastes sweet, as if he was chewing gum before patrol. He moans into the kiss when I wrap one arm around his neck, and my other hand runs through his wet hair.

Despite the excitement running through my body, my heart still aches.

He’s not Jason. You can’t substitute another guy for Jason.

As if my guilt alerted a higher being, we hear boots landing hard on the rooftop close to us.

Nightwing and I both pull back from each other, and we’re equally shocked to see the Red Hood in front of us. From what I can tell, Jason seems angry. His body is tense, and he’s clenching his fists at his sides.

“Step away from her, Nightwing, before I fuck you up,” Red Hood says loudly, his voice scrambler sending tingles down my body.

Nightwing scoffs and stands in front of me. “Shouldn’t you be with Isabel?” Nightwing asks smugly.

“Shouldn’t you be licking Batman’s asshole?” Red Hood retorts.

“Guys stop! Please!” I plead loudly in the rain.

Red Hood and Nightwing don’t even look at me. They continue to stare each other down, hard with hatred.

“Who told you?” Nightwing asks Red Hood.

“Demon spawn.”

“Look, either way, Y/N deserves someone who loves her,” Nightwing says.

Red Hood finally removes his hood and there stands Jason. With the domino mask, his bluish, gray eyes stare into mine. He looks desperate. He looks sorry. He wants me.

“And I do! I do love her! I just-I just didn’t know how to handle it!” Jason answers hastily before he looks at me. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I love you. I’m so fucking in love with you, and that kiss we had…fuck…that kiss was everything to me, but it also scared me because I haven’t felt that way before. But I’m sorry I hurt you. I truly am sorry, doll. But you have to believe me. I love you more than anything, sweetheart. It’s you. It’s only you.”

#dc comics #batman #jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #dick grayson #batfamily #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x y/n #nightwing #nightwing x reader #nightwing x y/n #red hood x reader #red hood x y/n #batman jason todd

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nemesis-writer · 5 months ago

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[Unwanted Ransom (Chapter 5)]

Hollaback Girl TW- Mentions of cheating, a lot of mentions of sex MDNI Masterlist

I always knew that Bruce was never a good father as I've stated before. He technically fucked and cheated on Talia and Regina for fucks sake. He predisposed the others into neglecting me for the 4 years I've stayed with them.

Now they want forgiveness? That's just lazy writing if this goes to Disney. I mean come on I've got a lot of shit to deal with, I don't know why they want me now. I was never a Wayne, first of all, I'm not even a virgin.

They always see me as weak bitch, they "dealt" with a lot of shit. The girls, on the other hand, learned that "you gotta learn jiu jitsu, just to get some dick in you." They think their whole life is some Korean drama movie.

That's why I'm glad to meet someone like Tony, my true father. I learned hacking faster than Bruce Wayne could pull out. So far the only Bruce I love is Banner. I call him uncle Banner, cus' God I hate the name Bruce.

I even got kidnapped once, and they didn't give a shit. Well I kinda lied to dad that I was going on a school trip so...

6 years ago...

Alright so I'd like to take a minute and just sit right here, I'll tell you how I got kidnapped by a girl named Harley.

She threw me on the bed and tied my hands up.

"Alright listen here little bat." She pushed my head into the comfy bed.

"Rich Corinthian leather" was all I could muster out.

"You don't seem scared as I thought you would" she proclaimed. With anger she choked me.

"Listen lady I'm not a fuckin' Wayne. My dad is Tony Stark for fuck's sake"

"Bullshit I've seen the papers"

"Then why would I not be scared?" She then let go of me.

"God, I thought you were gonna kiss me for a second, just know I wouldn't stop you if you did."

"You intrigue me."

"Bitch you just kidnapped me and try to choke me." She then looked at her guards and yelled, "Untie her."

"No need I did it 5 minutes ago." Showing her the ropes, she scoffed at me and had one of them open the door.

"I had a nice time today, plus I only came to Gotham to see Alfred." I winked then left.

"Ms, Jennifer Amala Stark!" a voice yelled. Oh fuck nah men.

"Hey dad. " I scratched my head out of fear, he brought his suit.

"Jennifer" He cocked his eyebrows and looked at me.

"Alright I went to Gotham because I wanted to see Alfred, because he was the butler and wanted to take care of me, and I'll go kill myself." I breathe in.

"You could've told me alright you're my daughter for crying out loud."

"Sorry dad." I looked down like a little child. He wrapped his arm around me and led me to the car.

"It's ok just inform me where you are actually going ."

After that the car ride was silent..

Present...

Alright so technically the when I was a Wayne, the only time I felt truly wanted was when I was kidnapped, ironic huh. I was kidnapped like 7 times, and I laughed at all of their attempts to use me as bait for Batman. So here is my list...

Catwoman, 6 years old. (Let me go)

Penguin, 6 1/2 years old (Let me go)

Joker, 7 1/2 years old. (Jason saved me)

Scarecrow, 8 years old. (Scared him for laughing at the fear toxin)

Two-faced, 8 1/2 years old. (Kept on insulting his Barbie lookin' face)

Random thug #1, 9 years old (shot him in the face)

Harley, 12 years old (Just mentioned now. Plus saved by dad)

To say the least, kidnapping got normal during my time as a Wayne. I used to be so scared of a shithole and ended up in one. This all happened for me to become a Stark.

So back to the story...

I went back home to my bedroom and felt like shit when I saw Jason there. I couldn't help but wonder, why?

Why did Bruce adopted me when I could've gone to a health center?

Why did Bruce adopt me, to neglect me?

Why didn't he save Jason?

Why did he care about shit-head?

Is it because I'm not pretty? Nah, not true, probably because he's gay or some shit. I am irritated of the fact that I was dumb enough to try and impress rocks. This blows.

Oh gosh I remember one of the fights me and shithead had.

9 years ago...

"Hey! That's my seat bitch." Shit head yelled.

"Listen shit head, you don't own the fucking chair." I screamed back, spitting on his face.

"I own the house loser, you don't own shit."

"Alright, so you call the couch, and I call the couch. And we'll see who it goes to."

And then in a blink, I'm trapped in the *white room*, better known as the greenhouse. I hate the smell of pesticide and the fact that the plants that they own aren't even growing.

So, since the door is locked I actually took care of the plants. I'm surprised that they are still alive, I mean they are vigilantes, how would they take care of plants?

I saw one rose wilting, so I quickly poured some water and fertiliser. and I realised how much I related to it. Plants wilt when they're not taken care of properly, just like how I was estranged when they neglected me. Even if others take care of it sometimes, they still need proper love and nurture. Gosh, I look at one fucking plant and all of the sudden I became Socrates.

When Alfred got me out of the greenhouse, he brought me back inside to clean myself up.

"Master Xerxes, I made you some lasagna for dinner."

"Thanks Al, I feel like hell today."

"My pleasure Master Xerxes." And with that he left. I went down just to bring up the lasagna to my room, while eating, I binged watch the Saw franchise. And I can tell you Mark Hoffman and Amanda Young is lookin' fine.

I got bored and when I thought I would fall asleep a message appeared on my phone. I grinned a bit when I thought it was Vincent but by the time I looked on my phone I saw this...

Unknown Number- Hey little bird how are ya' doin?

For fuck's sake now I gotta deal with this bitch now? I quickly blocked him and reported him on my whats-app.

Unknown Number- Come on birdie don't do this to me.

Now he's on my discord wtf is wrong with these people. I blocked him again and then I hacked into their bank accounts and social media accounts. I froze all of their accounts and deleted all of their social media accounts.

Jesus, Tim, you were supposed to put up a fire-wall. Dumbass. And with that I went to sleep in peace...

Taglist-

@lunayaps, @not-aya, @iluvcatzz, @vanessa-boo, @ivyrose9194

{A/N- I'll be sending pics of her room just for a little more detail, but I hope y'all love this chapter.}

#yandere batfam x reader #yandere batfam #yandere bruce wayne #yandere damian wayne #yandere richard grayson #yandere jason todd #yandere barbara gordon #yandere tim wayne #gifs #dad tony stark #tony stark x daughter! reader #assassin reader #yandere avengers #neglected reader

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coimbrabertone · 4 months ago

Text

Offtopic Offseason #3 - Clone Wars Rewatch Thoughts: Part I.

We're deep in the motorsports offseason and I've been on a Clone Wars rewatch for the past week or so. I'm in early season three right now, still before the timeskip, but I've been enjoying it a lot and it's gotten me thinking about Star Wars again, so I wanted to yap about it in a blogpost.

I think I'll even do a part two once I'm done rewatching the whole thing.

For now though, I'm going to talk about what I've watched so far, so seasons one and two, and the first couple of episodes of season three.

So...Clone Wars starts out pretty rough, I'm not gonna lie. The first few episodes are just a bit cringeworthy with annoying battle droid dialogue, the voice actors still finding their footing, and the animation is pretty spotty - I'll talk more about that in a moment - and of course the classic complaints of "Snips" and "Skyguy" and all that.

All of these problems started in the movie - which I most recently watched in 2023 but skipped this time because, well, it sucks unfortunately - but they are still apparent in the early episodes of season one.

The early episodes still have their moments.

The Malevolence arc is pretty competent, Rookies is probably the first legitimately good episode of the show, Cloak of Darkness and especially Lair of Grievous are good, and then from Trespass onwards the show really comes into its own.

That being said, I think season two is better than season one. Season three is another step forward, and from the timeskip onwards I think the show really hits its stride, especially because the updated designs look a lot better and fit with the animation bump.

That being said, already in season two I noticed the animation is getting better.

Season one has that classic CGI cartoon problem where the environments are rather drab, and they can't have too many characters on screen at once since it's expensive to do - and Clone Wars was an infamously expensive show - which led to a lot of battles consisting of...two Jedi and like three clone troopers against five battle droids with two super battle droids in the background. It's an understandable error, and they get much better about it as the show goes on, but it's pretty noticeable in season one.

That's a problem for a lot of CGI cartoons though. Watch Beware the Batman, Transformers Prime, or Jimmy Neutron and you'll notice a lot of these same traits.

Even some of the Barbie cartoons have those problems and it's really noticeable because it's like these blondes in bright pink colors against like a flat brown background. It's pretty trippy.

Alright, enough about the flaws of early 2010s CGI animation.

Here's a two-parter I didn't really pay all that much attention to the first two times I watched it - the first time back when it aired on Cartoon Network, the second time when I rewatched the whole series on Disney+ ahead of season seven - the Zillo Beast episodes.

Before I always just saw them as a pretty basic Godzilla homage - they awaken this giant monster on the Malastare battlefield, they eventually subdue it, but Palpatine wants to study it on Coruscant, it inevitably breaks out, and they have to stop it - but this time, it hit for me for whatever reason.

First there's the electro-proton bomb, and the nuke parallels there - they're obvious enough that I must've picked up on them before but I guess I didn't come to appreciate it - but then even when they wake the Zillo Beast, it never actually tries to leave the hole.

In fact, it doesn't until the Dugs force it out with the toxic gas.

Then the beast is clearly suffering when the shock tanks bring it down.

So, this giant, hurt animal gets sent to Coruscant in the laboratory, and Palpatine wants it killed so he can study its indestructible scales more quickly.

Only then does the Zillo Beast break out and go on its rampage, and even then, the rampage is focused directly on Palpatine.

Then they kill it with the gas bombs, and you can see it suffer as it dies, and the Jedi are so clearly disturbed by all this.

Palpatine, however, immediately tasks the scientist with cloning another one - and apparently that story is followed up on in Bad Batch season two which has unironically given me more motivation to actually watch the rest of Bad Batch than anything else I've heard about that show.

Anyway, the reason why I think this episode clicked with me this time is because this plan has Sidious written all over it, but he's forced to maneuver it as Palpatine.

He keeps trying to justify the Zillo Beast experiments but eventually his patience wears thin, and he just starts threatening the scientist to do his bidding, despite the fact he's supposed to be the kindly old Chancellor here.

Moreover, when the Zillo Beast is after him, it's probably the only time in the whole show that Sidious is in real danger, but he's with Anakin, Padme, and the droid so he can't do anything about it.

The whole show Palpatine is pulling the strings, controlling both the Republic and the Separatists, ensuring no side gets the upper hand.

Except for here, because the Zillo Beast wants to kill him, and he can't do anything about it.

He needs the Jedi and the Clones to kill the Zillo Beast for him, and once its dead, all he can do is task his scientists to clone a new one so he can try again.

It's such a cool thing to do with Palpatine/Sidious and there's a karmic justice to it all because it's entirely his fault too.

So yeah, I used to just dismiss these episodes as "oh I guess Filoni wanted to do a monster episode" but no, there's some substance here and it's pretty great.

It also goes to show that, even before the timeskip, Clone Wars was a really, really great Star Wars show. After the timeskip, it becomes the best as far as I'm concerned.

I'm excited for more Mandalore episodes, I'm excited for the Savage Opress arc - even if his name is even more on the nose than playing the Imperial March whenever Anakin does something evil - I'm excited for the Citadel, and Umbara, and the undercover Obi-Wan episodes.

I'm excited for Maul, for the Sabotage arc, for the Order 66 arc in season six, and I can't wait to finish strong on the Siege of Mandalore which is probably some of the best Star Wars content, period.

That's not even all of it. There's so much good stuff.

I love Clone Wars, it makes me happy.

#star wars #clone wars #the clone wars #star wars: the clone wars

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foxwitchaine · 7 months ago

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What red flags do you think Adrien has?

First and foremost, Adrien hasn't changed during the series. Like, at all. If this had been any other series with a "Status Quo is God" mentality, I wouldn't be so nitpicky. The problem is we were promised plot all the way back in Season 2. And plot typically involves characters changing, growing, and developing along the way. I know I'm gonna sound like a broken record, but Avatar: The Last Airbender is pretty much the gold standard of what kid's shows nowadays should aspire to be like. The old "it's for kids" excuse is only gonna go so far when we've had gems such as ATLA, the Batman Animated Series, the OG Justice League, the OG Teen Titans, heck even anime like Sailor Moon and Dragon Ball Z on air. I'm personally not a fan of Dragon Ball Z, but even I can acknowledge what Akira Toriyama accomplished.

Those works also weren't afraid to get dark and scary while still being age-appropriate. Something modern kid's cartoons can all learn from, be it Disney, Cartoon Network, or even Nickelodeon. And something they all have in common? A strong and well-structured plot. Emphasis on "well-structured". I can't claim to know what goes on in the writing room of Miraculous Ladybug, but it's painfully clear hardly anyone knows what they're doing. And it's resulted in the "plot" of the show turning into a tangled tumbleweed drifting across the desert of discarded but better-written ideas.

Whatever the metaphor is, anyway.

Let's continue.

Adrien's second biggest red flag is his continuous defense of characters like Chloe and more recently Lila. I'm admittedly ignoring Season 4 onward because I cannot fathom disrespecting your characters (and audience) so much you turn a kid's show into your own vanity project just to stroke your ego. But that's beside the point.

Adrien has the unfortunate habit of defending problematic people like pre-"redemption" Chloe (I use that word loosely as I'm doing my own Chloe redemption in my fic with Rafe) and Lila. You could argue that it's because of the way his father raised him. But it defeats the whole purpose of Adrien getting to go to school.

School is a place where you learn and grow. And figure out how to deal with unpleasant stuff, such as bullying, incompetent teachers, and apathetic faculty (I'm telling on myself, I just know). The problem is that Adrien, despite all his chances to figure out how to unlearn the behaviors Gabriel instilled in him, has not once made any active attempts to improve himself. Yeah. I know. I may be a little too harsh on him, but that's because I saw potential in Adrien to be much better than he is now. Disregarding the Sentimonster theory being confirmed (again, I'm also ignoring that), Adrien's stagnation is very telling of both the character and the writers. No matter what happens in the show, the universe bends itself backwards to acknowledge his existence. Do you know what that's called in writing?

A Mary Sue. Or, in Adrien's case, a Marty Stu. You could argue that Marinette is a Mary Sue, but she gets torn down so much in the show the argument is pretty much moot.

Do note that this is not aimed to tear down anyone who's written Mary Sues or Marty Stus. I've created several of my own in my early days as a writer. Who hasn't. The thing is, though, as I grew up, so did my characters and my writing.

Adrien hasn't grown up since the start of the show. And that's very telling.

Then there's the third biggest red flag of Adrien: his behavior as Chat Noir. I know it feels unfair to use that against him, but it's been stated multiple times that Chat Noir is, in essence, Adrien's true self without his everyday mask.

If that is who he is without any limits, then I want him as far away from me as possible.

Preferably, with a restraining order.

I have yet to figure out why this keeps happening when Hollywood and other big-name studios write romance — even by female authors and writers — but it has to stop. Men, most sane women prefer it if you accept the first "no" as an answer. That goes for you too, ladies. No, I don't care if this pisses anyone off. I'm an equal-opportunity realist. And I'm gonna say something that will likely have people calling for my head on a pike:

Relationships in general are built on mutual trust and communication. It's hard work maintaining a healthy relationship, it really is. But more often than not, it's one of the most fulfilling things anyone can possibly dream of. No, this doesn't mean everyone is obligated to say yes to romance. There are those who choose to avoid romance altogether.

And that's perfectly fine. I just happen to be a romantic who enjoys romance. That's my personal preference (no, this doesn't mean I like red flags).

The writers of Miraculous Ladybug seem to be under the impression that teenagers should hook up with the first hot person they meet. And that's a very dangerous message to spread. Because what if the first hot person they meet is a domestic abuser? Or worse: a criminal who has no issue using whatever they can to control and dominate their partner.

Adrien — and by proxy, Chat Noir — has displayed behavior that's alarmingly similar to domestic abusers despite his sunshine persona. He's destroyed property because Ladybug told him "no" (Sentibubbler). He set up a date even though Ladybug told him she had plans, then had the audacity to get huffy and upset about it (Glaciator). He's lied to someone about his relationship with her, then blamed her for the resulting akuma.

Note that the last example was from Copycat, a Season 1 episode. Which bears the disturbing implication that this is an ongoing issue, not a one-time problem.

Adrien Agreste had potential to be a great character.

It's too bad the writers have stressed he's too perfect to change.

#miraculous ladybug #ml salt #mlb salt #ml writing salt #mlb writing salt #adrien salt #writing salt

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popculturebuffet · 10 months ago

Text

The Book of Bill Review: Bye Everyone He'll Remember You All in Therapy (Comission for Emma Fici)

Hello all you happy people and man it's good to be back. After a week's vacation i'm recharged and ready to plunge back into reviewing stuff. For those of you new here i'm Jake, I review various media , mostly cartoons and comics.

Over a week off filled with batman, persona 5, more batman, Truthful Timmy the Blowjob Queen of Saskatoon, and more, I picked up a certain book since my money dropped: Yes folks thanks to a generous friend who also enjoyed the hell out of this book it's time to talk about mildly curesed new york times #1 bestseller The Book of Bill.

The Book of Bill is the latest in something Disney has been doing for a while, some of the only merch they really make for their telveision animation series: Journals! Specifically books following a character from the show in the first person and helping drop some juicy lore. I naturally have all three previous major ones: Journal 3, The Big Book of Spell and Marcy's Journal. There was also one for Ducktales I need to get at some point and an early Star Vs book, but these big three are the important ones, making real books from the show canon and not only being cool props to own, but also nice bits of canon after the show ended. Or in star vs case as the show slowly burst into flames.

Book of Bill continues that trend yet also breaks it: This book is coming out 8 years after the series ended, is an entirely new creation, and is geared towards adults even having a warning label. Granted it's more a pg-13 than the hard r said warning label implies but the fact disney is acknowledging a product from less than 15 to 20 years ago has nostalgic fans is a victory in itself.

And said victory was followed by an even bigger one with the book recently topping the New York Times bestseller list, even topping "we gotta see what that couchfucker is about just in case". This is a huge victory lap that makes me hope we'll get even more content from various disney shows in book form. At the very least it makes the owl house art book an even easier sell and at most i'm hoping Owl House gets more content now, and I wouldn't say no to Hirsch returning to gravity falls if he has another idea. While i'm used enough to Disney's bullshit to see them ignoring this obvious sign, it could really get them to take kids content from this era more seriously or at least try to get it's creators back to get more of that sweet dollar dollar bill ciphers ya'll. Either way this could be a great thing.

Even if it dosen't lead to more books, Book of Bill is great on it's own and something i'm happy to dive into. And since I know it's harder to get the book outside of the us this is also a chance for those of you outside it to get a peak inside. So let's begin as tonight it's gonna get weird.

Book of Bill is diffrent from the other books in that while it follows a narrative, the first half is mostly just bill shenanigans while the second gives us his history from when he was a baby boy baby to he and Ford's messy breakup involving live snakes, it's a small world and jars of spiders.

It works perfectly too: I forgot how much fun bill was till he burst through the page to greet me

Like bill himself the book deftly ballances comedy and horror. Like gravity falls it leans more to the former, as most of bills antics are just him being unsettling and charming as always, but we get plenty of truly disturbing stuff from his collection of heads to a mouth suddnely popping up demanding blood to this lovely bit showing all the many realities where the pines kids didn't exactly win

Also yeah, outside of Bill's fate, the book dosen't move past where Gravity Falls was on the timeline in the extended Disney Television Universe. It does firmly confirm it's all one universe as we get some refrences to owl house with some tapestry showing off the titan and my boy

As well as a cameo we'll get to later. But it's clear Hirsch, for now has no plans to tell us what happened to errybody after the show aside from bill himself and honestly? That's fine. I'd rather he did a full revivial or book about it at some point than drop it in here and before the nightmare fuel sets in the sleep image of the two on the bus with waddles is adorable.

Back on point the book will hit you with horror well but is maily just a non stop parade of good jokes for the first half. The framing device is simple: Bill created this book and Ford found it shortly before he and Stan went off to make movies, make songs and fight around the world. He tried destroying it but befitting spooky books it kept coming back and so he put in an ash williams style warning telling the reader for the love of god don't read more. And like that idiot from evil dead 2013, I didn't listen and pressed on as i'm sure any of you who got the book did too. I mean we already paid our 20 some dollary doos right?

So the book has bill giving the reader advice, trying to trick them and general other wacky nonsense. This book is DENSE with jokes, and there was hardly a page that wasn't meant to be truly horrifying that didn't have one on it. And sometimes even them. Highlights for me from the first half include his self interview where he deflects being phineas' father, dating a howling void and other hot goss, his entire chapter on silly straws (if you murder someone with one it becomes a serious straw), his having you murder an elf for him, dividing a number and brutally murdering it, and Ford claming he'll tell you how to turn ducks into nuclear bombs.. with Bill doing that immediately after and likely being fully aware of what he was doing.

My faviorite bits are him fleshing out his "reality is a hologram" statment

Every bit of this joke works from me from the reveal, to perfectly nailing the classic pokemon trading card style for this gag. Good stuff. Also not sure why the multiverse has only 50 hp, better not to ask.

The other bit I love the most is bill trying to help the readers love life with advice so good it got this book classified as advice

And helping the love cage with some wonderful bilintines

I"m sending I don't want to die alone to my next crush!

This section really is just a vehicle for jokes and general bill chaos for the most part and it does so gloriously. If you liked bill, your gonna love this thing and if you love him.. he'll never love you back but you'll still enjoy this.

The first half does have a few little pitterpats of lore. One of the biggest.. is that we get more dipcifica

Also Dipper's search history as a whole and while some parts I'd rather forget if my brain would let me, there's a lot of good gags here. But yeah Pacifica Northwest Pagent Video. man is crushing. And also mildly creepy but it's still a step up from looking up Wendy's instagram and other things i'd rather not get into because

This segment goes into the casts dreams, most in depthly Dipper, Mabel and McGucket. That last one is just a really hautning page of how much of a tornado his mind is ... bill BARELY got out. Dipper is naturally bill laughing at his embarassment and revealing he put a bunch of fake author images in his head for funzies.

Mabel on the other hand is one of the funniest segments in the entire book as well as revealing exactly HOW he concoted the scheme. A nice thing we get , and that explains why he gave her her own fifedome.. is that bill actually likes mabel as a person. he likes her chaos, loves watching her dreams which is creepy but for him is about as close to kind as he can get. Problem is he went in AFTER the whole Sock Opera mess, so she hates him. Thankfully the people guarding her dreams are Xyler and Kraz, nature's perfect himbos. So he simply gives himself a hat and blonde hair, a neat jacket and the name chill cipher and gets them on board by eating his skateboard. And to his horror has to do a montage from saying no to drugs to teaching a dinosaur with shades to beleivie in himselef. Just imainging bill doing an over the top 80s montage while having the most pissed off uncomfortable look in the world.. it's going to help me sleep at night.

We also find out he found Mable's deepst darkest fantasy... a tape of Mariah Carrey's fantasy.

It's a genuinely good gag and bill finds out from them how down in the dumps she are, her wanting to let summer last etc.. and thus you can thank these himbos for the apocalypse.

Otherwise the only other little tidbits are in a bit on various dreams. We find out Ford is in love with logic (Bill quips he'd be a plansexual which.. accurate), Soos wants to change his name to pins, and Pacifica.. is suffering horrible ptsd. The big bit though is that dipper walked in on a conversation between his parents about something he wouldn't hear and Bill implies it was why they sent them away. It COULD be divorce, it could be somethign else entirely it's honestly hard to tell given both how little we get and the fact it's bill. Bill's about as trustworth as a snake wearing a top hat

On second thought make that Snake mayor stat.. then god emperor.

But yeah you can't really TRUST bill but it's a nice little seed of info nonetheless and it'd be weird if I didn't talk about it. That said I don't have much to say about it. The kids parents MIGHT have had a rough marraige though that would make sense why they cling to each other so much and make Mable's desperation to keep her brother around even more heartbreaking, so i'm all for it.

So then we get to that sweet juicy lore we woudln't stop bugging Alex for: Bill's history. And this may be my faviorite part of the book simply because there's a LOT of good gags and great visuals tucked in here. A crapton of artists who were VERY good at making something look real enough, as well as GF Vetran Emmy Ciecerga who drew all the gravity falls style art for this book and deserves a LOT of credit, make this book look gorgeous. There's all kinds of styles, from 20's newsclippings to photos to disturbing bill images, all of which needed a great graphic design to it. While none of the books so far are slouches in graphics, journal three itself looked gorgeous, this is far and way the best looking of them so far. Since it's bill their not constrained to one style, like marcy's was mimicking her art style (And later Anne's for her third of the book), journal 3 was. Book of Spells has come closest having each queen have a unique style but it still held to star vs.

This being bill this book goes all over the place: you've got brain teasers, photos, photoshopped nightmarish heads, a reaslitic mouth wanting your blood, all kinds of visual trickery that fits what a visually gorgeous nightmare bill could be. Like the other style, a very chaotic style that oscelates from people magazine to several pages of the great gatsby to punish you for wanting to know his weaknesses (get gatsby'd sucker!) all without breaking a sweat.

The history of bill section is where it really gets to shine once he gets to earth.. but before that.. we adress the elephant in the room. What happened to his home dimension?

Yeah one of the biggest bits of narrative blue balls of book of bill is we don't learn hardly anything about the second dimension and learn NOTHING about how it actually died. Both make perfect sense enough narratively to work and it's clear Alex, while great about answering the shows bigger and more importnat mysteries and not just jerking the audience about, does like to keep some things a mystery. The kids parents, shermy pines, why was thor crying that kind of stuff. While I WANTED an answer for my own works, I respect that it honestly worked better to not get one. We get just enough: bill climas to have been well loved by all in the way a flashback would show he wasn't, having seen the third dimension. It adds layers to him and ford's later friendship: both were outcasts with no one at one point or another. But Stanford at least had stan for a while before he was a dick about things.. bill seemingly had no one and is active denial he was hated and feared.

So he tried to merge dimensions.. and we have no idea exactly WHAT happened.. but not knowing.. is more horrifying. Bill tries to retell it but blacks out

It's very clear Bill has ptsd.. and somehow used urkel to kill people. I feared this day would come but never thought such a dread weapon would wind up in the worst hands imaginable.

It's a great section and I honestly like this... it makes the clear bait and switch work as alex knew what we wanted.. but gave us something more fitting the character.. the one moment bill GENINELY regrets.. but due to eons of lying to himself can't admit. He twisted the narrative to be that he freed a bunch of squares when really it was his first mass murder and the only one he clearly still feels bad about. While he was likely always a tad weird, this event is what snapped him into the monster he is, convicning himself their better this way and he did the right thing instead of truly dealing with his guilt. Bill has lied to himself so much he blacks out when even thinking abotu the truth because if he really thought abotu what he did and what happened, he'd have to rethink his whole sense of self. And Bill can't do that because he's built his whole self worth into his ego after this. That he was specail they just didn't get it and it's to the point he can't even be honest that he wasn't liked> he always had ot be great and special. It's honestly.. sad more than anything. That had bill not done this or simply not made what seems like an honest mistake just not to be alone he may of simply been able to escape and find kinship in ways that didn't involve gaslighting and evil overlord ship.

Sadly he did so we find out he found the nightmare dimension , conquered ita nd slowly gathered his henchmaniacas. We find out little btis; 8 ball has a crush on pyronica, pyronica wants to fuck smokey the bear for the sick thrill of pulling it off

Teeth is more a team pet.. all stuff i'm glad we have simply because the henchmaniacs never got fleshed out. Pyronica also has a phd. Bill also has a lawyer named dan crabbleman he uses as a scapecrab because of course. His version of peter I suppose.

Eventually though the good times stopped; While they had nightmare dimension prom (death toll 300), it ultimately was found the dimensionw as dying and we find out HOW bill ended up here and why he hates the time baby so much. .

Now granted the section with the time baby, only a few pages.. didn't do much for me. I've never really been a fan of the time baby: he comes off at least a touch evil, if less here since ANYONE comes off less evil when compared to bill, and the only joke they seem to have is he acts like a baby but is an elder god or something. He's one of the weaker weridos our heroes encountered.

Thankfully bill defeats him and the dinsoaurs would rebound eventually

And we'd only have to deal with time baby a few times after this before Bill kills him

So we then find out why Bill was spread about history. Turns out, not suprisingly, he landed in gravity falls which was perfect for his nonsense. In 30 Million BC he found a small tribe and befriended it's local shaman.. then kinda killed that good will when his first portal created the bottomless hole, let loose sea monsters and killed a lot of people.

This is also where something clever about the book comes about, something I hadn't noticed in the show till Bill's history made it clear: While Bill CAN manipulate a person fairly well he has a huge weakness besides tin foil or techno: He dosen't care enough to hide how unhinged he is. Bill by this point in the story, after eons of self denial and surrounding himself with people who either enable him or he tortured until they enabled him presumably, simply can't grasp that maybe giving a kid deer teeth or a head that's always scremaing isn't the way to make a good first or second impression.

And those moments from the show did set this up well: i'd always assumed he did that shit because it was fun. See the "Your insane!" "Sure I am what's your point?" exchange that's the second thing he ever says. But now I get it's .. well still part that, Bill likes fucking with people.. but it's also that he can't turn OFF his need to fuck with people. Even in this very book instead of giving genuine if shallow love advice he wants you to lock someone in a love cage or become johnny cobra arms. And I mean the second one is sound advice if you've got sufficent padding or a venom immunity, who dosen't want cobra arms, but this book really hammers home that Bill , while good at praying on people's desperation... is REALLY bad at actually keeping them on the hook unless their already as mad as he is or their desperate. He has one exception in ford but as this book, journal 3 and the series all establish.. Ford is also weird, dosen't really get people or social norms. Not saying all societal norms are good.. but maybe don't give your grandaughter a gun Sixer.

It dosen't detract from Bill's threat, as Ford comes to horrifying conclude later... no one actually BEAT bill pemrenantly. The shaman simply banished him and gave out the prophcey for the finale.. a prophecy that ended up not working. Bill constnatly gets shooed away or bribed by people to please shoo, shoo good sir shoo.. but it's not till stan after centuries of work on earth that someone actually BEAT him.

But it does humanize him, even if calling him human is not even a stretch it's just innacurate, but it's the term we got: Bill's ultimate weakness isn't his ego or collection of sily straws: it's that he simply CAN'T stop being him long enough for someone to actually buy into his shit. He actually had the founding fathers listneing.. until he called martha washington hot lips. He nearly gets the US Government to get him to the president.. but can't reissit talking about how fun it'd be to set all the nukes off at once. He makes a truly fun looking silly siphonies style cartoon.. but then it's time to relase the bees

Bill for better and for worse can't help but be himself. his schemes usually drive people to madness or away. He's good at preying on people's desperations and it ultimately needed him his three days of weirdmageddon.. but but he's not good at pulling the long con and only managed it once in his long career.

Thankfully while the book has plenty of great failures from bill from his computer to his do wop group the cipher tones (And the insuing country music backlash record calling him the devil. Please the devil threw him out because living with him is like living in a living nightmare).

There's a few slightly meatier episodes: There's his days in the dark ages.. and one of the few times someone actually got the better of him: he seemingly cons a dark wizard into joining him, sending some knights on a fetch quest to get his copy of monty python and the holy grail. How Disney got away with using the full title I have no idea but they did. God I hope it's not the same copy I have. Turns out though said wizard pulled a sandman and trapped him in a glass orb somehow woven with unicorn hair. Granted it does lead to bill goign on a rampage the second he's free but said rampage gets him banned from Europe so we'll call this one a draw.

The other is the anti cipheretes, a turn of the century group that means well and is engaging.. but sadly tried to preent their findings publicly and their leaders gets intionalized. It's honestly sad.. all this guy wanted was bill out of his head and they lost.

There's also said Silly Symphonies detour where the walt disney expy uses it's a small world (not named directly but barley disguised) to drive bill out.

It's another fun section, filling things in and letting bill fuck with history. He even gets a genuinely heroic moment

Yeah Bill deals with the puritans.. and they piss him off something bad, their lack of imagination making most useless to him, their society being horrifcally stuffy even by the cipher standard of "Stuffy assholes won't let me fill a theater with bees. Charlitans", so he helps an abused local housewive used as a footstool discover what laughter is and soon forms a coven. Said coven inacts a bloody coup, sure.. but it was puritan times, this is the only way a feminism could happen.

We then get the penultimate chapter in our story: At this point it's the 80's, do a lot of coke and vote for ronald regan and bill.. is at the end of his rope. His last scheme is easily one of my faviorites...

I know disney won't because they hate merch but I genuinely hoope a fan recreates these to own. Even the 3d model used here would be appricated for printing.

But then... fate threw bill a bone: he started laughing. Uncontrollably.. lights turned yellow his image was on every computer and breakfast cereal... someone.. opened up gravity falls again.

This is where Ford comes in: In a clever twist the next bulk is from Ford's perspective, with Bill having somehow found pages ford torn out. This is great for two reasons: the first is that it allows us to see their story more on the ground.. and the second is it's a resonable explination why pages that would've defintely told dipper who the author was were missing: Bill points out Ford tore them out due to his own shame and vanity. The former was on display in the last mablecorn, with him not telling dipper and only not getting mindwipped because the horrifying experinces recounted in those pages made him get a plate in his head. The second was in the book: Ford's biggest weakness and one Bill fully took advantage of.. was his ego. Ford thinks a LOT of himself and while he is impressive, it's his need to be seen, to be recognized after being ostrachized most of his life that makes him easy to play like a fiddle before bill and made him stubborn and dangerous after.

Ford can't admit he was wrong and had he left that vunerablity in there the show might of gone diffrently and weirdmageddon probably woudln't of happened.

It also covers in the one gap the journal glaringly left out, but again for plot reasons: that winter Ford was at his cabin. It's a geninely touching story: Ford feels lonely, and bad that he didn't get fiddleford anything before McGucket goes to see his wife back home, and spotted dipper and mable's footprints.. and ends up kidnapped by the krampus and having to rescue a bunch of children because of where he lives. What's heartwaring is fiddleford returns.. and while he fucked up his relationship by forgetting to get her a present, though the shippers certainly got one with this story arc, Ford decorates the portal to cheer him up.

The bulk though is about Bill and Ford: While Fiddleford IS his friend, he's gone a lot because he you know has a life. We see a side we didn't really see too much in the journal but makes sense: Lonliness. Ford is just too dang weird and awkward to be around people, can relate and bill takes full advantage of that. We get to see bill play full on manipulative boyfriend as he preys on Ford's ego, need to not be alone and subtly tries to isolate him when stan comes up and after the heartwarming moment above. It's neat to see just how things went wrong, how Ford got played by bill. Like I said Bill can't hide who he is.. but it works here as Ford dosen't get people so while creepy as hell, Bill leaving a giant pile of dead rats in his name for his brithday and getting him karoke drunk is not a red flag. You also get the sense that while bill isn't remotely a good friend, person or triangle, Bill WAS fond of ford, he genuinely liked the guy and gets shitfaced when eh dosen't on "i'm totally fine juice" and crashes an interdimensional mexican restraunt. Also props to alex I didn't know I needed to see Ford and Bill hammered on seperate occaions but here we are.

Naturally it goes south and the post breakup is easily the most serious part of the book. There's still some great jokes, but it shows how horrifying bill can be. His first actions are, after Ford installs his lab's retinal scanner to keep bill out (since the pupil thing isn't just stylistic, it really happens), he beats the poor guys knuckles bloody trying to claw his way out. He revivies Zombies to stop ford at the mourge as it turns out he can control ANYTHING with a brain. That does lead to a really awesome moment I didn't see coming as Ford admits he's missing him.. but his aim is getting better

Yes they called back to THAT of all things.

It's then things get terrifying: Bill starts writing on ford's post it notes, taking his body at intevals since Ford let him in.. and it's something I just never thought of: while we saw what he could do to dipper, we knew it was a bad idea and he was able to get him out pretty quickly. This segment.. shows what happens when bill can come and go as he pleases. Fordapparenly would just pass out for a second and wake pu with notes.. and when Bill got tired of the post it note tag.. he went a bit further with what's easily my faviorite joke of the whole book

It's just so bill. Grante did' be terrified and probably dead from such a stunt, but it's still just.. so damn perfect.

Ford gets him back with it's a small world after all.. only for us to get to the most unsettlign portion of the book. Ford wakes up on the roof and finds bill left a tape. And while a portion of bills shenanigans, memoralized with polaroid are just hilaroius, like slapping a cop or getting a baby girl tatoo.. we also get shit like eating a jar of spiders (And as an arachnophobe the sentence I keep coughing up siders is.. a lot for me ) and hammering his own hand. We'd seen this kind of shit with Dipper.. but this is what he'd do when he dosen't necessarily NEED the body for himself.

The lowest though is Bill.. trying to call stan. And trigger warning for his next image as it's ... pretty fucking rough.

Yes Bill.. nearly sent a suicide note to stan over the phone in ford's name. It's only sheer luck and likely some lawsuits that saved it but it just hits so hard. Even as much as Ford hates stan.. he dosen't want this and is truly terrified. It strips away the wacky nonsense of bill and gets right to the point: bill is gaslighting and abusing ford, even making him forget his own name for a second, until he gets what he wants. The earlier parts showed him playing the more manipulative roll of abuser but now.. we see what happens when bill goes full on petty and vindictive and there's nothing humorous about it.

Thankfully ford got the plate in his head, he called stan, you know the rest.

It's here the book reaches it's climax: Ford contacts the reader again.. but in a nice bit while he begged them before.. he can't blame them. THe post weridmageddon character development shown in journal 3 stuck: he was where they were. Not only that while he hid the book from his family they found it and instead of turning all into bills.. they just laughed. They'd all grown enough to just find his attempts at playing them funny. They all took his embarssing past in stride. As Stan perfectly puts it "So you messed up a bunch. Guess that really makes you a pines". Stan of all people has EVERY reason to never let ford live this down.. yet does because he gets it. Everyone fucks up and it helps Ford see he's human.. and so's bill. Well again eh's a triangle man but he's ultimately as Ford puts it "A sad theater kid desperate for attention". This book isn't some grand demonic tone: it's the sad last effort of someone who already lost.

We get some fun letters from each pines: dipper and mabel both encourage the reader, and Mabel, even if she threatens to fucking murder bill if he goes after her brother again.. even offers Bill tips on getting over ford. Dipper sympathizes with the reader and also threatens to murder him. And stan.. well stand does what he does best.. promote the mystery shack. Yes even when he's not the owner he can't help plug it. But he also gives bill the biggest kick to the nuts of all: he dosen't care. He hasn't had the personal trauma the others have and just sees bill as another werido trying to steal his wallet like every other thursday in this town. Stan Pines murdered one of the greatest villians in history.. and he somehow tops that by not even carring.

We get Bill screaming STANNNLEEEYYY again, having been beaten and the reader convinced not to swap places with bill. Not only that Stan and co also figured out something important: If bill isn't dead but IS trying to escape.. where he is cant be good.

And we finally find out what happened to him. Which is a mild suprise as while it's VERY nice we found out, as seen in the rest of the book alex is keen to keep some secrets close to the chest. He teased at bill's possible return: the statue in the finale, the axotitl he invokes showing up in a non canon choose your own adventure story, that sort of thing... but it wasn't guarnateed going into this book we'd learn. Thankfully Alex, as ever knows when to not tell us stuff and when it'd be a real dick move not to and not in a funny way.

Bill made a deal with the axitotl to reincarnate. For those less familiar, all two of you the axitotl is some mysterious god taking the shape of that adorable creature whose as kind and benevolent as that sounds and even gave BILL a second chance.

He isn't, thankfully stupid.. and thus after a lifetime of lopsided deals.. just like with Stan moments before making this one.. Bill gets hit with a bad one. And the thing is unlike Stan who just flat out tricked Bill like Bill played so many people, the Axitotl didn't lie: it told bill he'd have to repent. It was bill's own ego that assumed he could scheme his way out

Instead bill is now inside the Theraprism, a maximum security dimensional prison that takes all commers and is filled with sterotypical therapy activites like arts and craft and constant group sessions. And while a tad unsettling it's honestly.. nicer a fate than I expected. It's still pure hell for bill.. but the place isn't EVIL. it geninely wants to help it's patients, even the worst people imaginable and while there's things like a sensory deprevation void, it's clearly because this place is essentially arkham asylym but ran compitently and with actual care towards ehabilitation. To let those who genuinely repent reincarnate.. granted there are options like "cloud of spore sor a butterfly" but I get that maybe Freddy Kruger dose'nt need to come back as a wolverine and possibly maul faces. Let him get a chance at that third time around.

But for Bill.. a place to self reflect, heal and come back as something powerful.. as hell. There's no ESCAPE: whatever's running this place is clearly powerful enough to hold fucking BILL down. Darcy's helmet is there too in a nice little cameo and I wouldn't be suprised if every dead disney villian deemed enough of a threat was here. Honestly making Bill and Belos room together is the punishment they deserve. or belos does, Bill would get a kick out of having someone to torment so maybe just let him do it in moderatoin. As a treat if he participates in group.

It's Bill.. trapped in his own personal hell... a place he can't escape through manipulation, surrounded by people he dosen't respect, with the only way out being self reflection and a cursed arts and craft project that was quickly confiscated before it coudl take the reader. Bill's fate was already great in the show.. but this improves on it> Bil got conned twice and is trapped in a hell he could easily escape but never will because he just.. can't grow. He won't. He refuses to. His ego can't take it. So all that's left in the book is bill pathetically whimpering that SOMEONE wil lcome from him.. but with his henchmaniacs thinking he's dead and having spent his life burning bridges.. no one ever will.

This book is amazing. Read it if you can. A truly great little followup that fills in some gaps, is packed densely with jokes, has some really effective horror and has a truly amazing ending. Check it out if you haven't and if you can.

Thanks for reading

#the book of bill #gravity falls #bill cipher #ford pines #stan pines #alex hirsch #disney #horror #comedy

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ultraericthered · 2 months ago

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Reimagine That Villain!

So Lex Luthor, and to a lesser extent Mr. Freeze, recently got me to thinking about how many times I've seen this phenomenon: where a fictional villain begins their existence defined as one particular thing with a particular set of character traits, but then some new version of what they originated in comes along and completely reimagines the villain into something else altogether for whatever reason (usually to update the material for modern audiences), and that reinvention just hits at something so hard with the consumers of the work that it becomes what more people remember that villain as, or even the new default for how that villain is to be like in every adaptation they'll feature in. And to stress, this is not simply rewriting a villain character (which anyone could do), it is reimagining and reinventing them.

From off the top of my head, these are examples of such.

Lex Luthor famously made a shift from a mad scientist supervillain to a corrupt corporate executive in the 80's post-Crisis reboot for Superman lore, while Mr. Freeze made a shift from a petty criminal with a Freeze Ray to the quintissential tragic Anti-Villain in the 90's thanks to Batman: The Animated Series giving him that portrayal.

Jinx from League of Legends: Silly psychotic villainess -> Tragic psychotic villainess thanks to her portrayal in Arcane.

Tirac/Tirek from My Little Pony: Menacing but weak 80's villain -> a far more powerful and destructive beast in Friendship Is Magic.

Mother Gothel from the fairy tale of Rapunzel: An evil childnapping witch -> A textbook abusive mother figure in modern retellings such as Disney's Tangled or Into The Woods.

Bill Sikes from Charles' Dickens Oliver Twist: A murderous street thug -> A wealthy loan shark gangster in Disney's Oliver & Company.

Flintheart Glomgold from Disney's Duck Universe: Scrooge's "Evil Twin" -> The Poor Man's Scrooge in the 2017 DuckTales reboot.

Magica De Spell, also from Disney's Duck Universe: A Wicked Duck Witch -> The Sorceress Of Shadows in the 2017 DuckTales reboot.

Rumpelstiltskin from the fairy tale bearing his name: A Faustian deal-making, baby-stealing imp -> The Dark One in Once Upon A Time. (Parodic versions like in Shrek are discounted here).

Dr. Robotnik/Eggman from Sonic The Hedgehog: Mad Scientist Supervillain -> Mad Scientist Dictator in the initial US Sonic works, something that still does resurface from time to time and influenced Eggman as a guy with a huge fleet seeking total world domination.

Kevin 11 from Ben 10: Mutant Monster -> Evil Omnitrix Kid.

Prince Lotor from Voltron: Corny 80's villain barbaric prince -> the Magnificent Bastard he is in Voltron: Legendary Defender.

Horde Prime from Masters Of The Universe: Evil Lord of Darkness -> Evil Lord of Light in She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power.

Professor Hugo Strange, another Batman villain: Mad Scientist -> Mad Psychologist.

The Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: A one-off criminal samurai -> the ever-present Big Bad of the franchise.

The Mandarin from Iron Man: A Dr. Fu Manchu-esque Yellow Peril caricature -> a more modernized Fu Manchu character.

Doctor Doom from The Fantastic Four: A vain, vengeful supervillain -> Still that, AND a dictator of his own nation, which was introduced in the second F4 annual and it only got more focus over time.

Magneto from X-Men: A proud and incensed mutant terrorist with racism towards humans -> A sympathetic extremist with very solid reasons for resenting humanity due to their own racist behavior.

Thanos from the Marvel Comics Universe: A mad titan who wants to literally woo Death -> a mad titan who wants to stabilize the universe through mass death that's so well known from the MCU.

Taurus Bulba from Darkwing Duck: A ruthless criminal mastermind -> a ruthless visionary corporate scientist in 2017 DuckTales and the new Darkwing Duck it was setting up (and we still deserve, dammit!)

Roderick Kingsley from Spider-Man: A squandered supervillain -> a creator and abettor of supervillains.

Gabriel Agreste from Miraculous: A squandered supervillain in the show -> A terrorist mastermind in Ladybug & Cat Noir: The Movie.

Giovanni from Pokemon: A thuggish Yakuza boss -> a diabolical and charismatic mastermind mafioso in adaptations and later games.

Ganondorf/Ganon from The Legend of Zelda: An evil pig wizard -> the Great Demon King Of Evil.

Mr. Hyde from The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde: An allegory for the primal darkness and evil vices within man -> An allegory for repressed desire and convenient absolution of one's guilt, seen on Once Upon A Time but it's honestly a take on the Jekyll and Hyde dichotomy I'd love to see more of in more adaptations.

Dr. Griffiths from The Invisible Man: A goofy Sci-fi Horror villain -> a common domestic abuser who is legit terrifying in the 2020 film.

The Wicked Witch of the West from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz: Baum's version -> the movie version -> Elphaba in Wicked (among other movie-inspired adaptations, like Zelena in Once Upon A Time)

Professor Moriarty from Sherlock Holmes: The distant and shadowy Napoleon of Crime -> a more theatrical, flamboyant Lord of Crime in works such as Sherlock, Elementary, and Moriarty the Patriot.

The Penguin, another Batman villain: a campy deformed gentleman thief who uses birds in his crimes -> a High Society crime boss.

Poison Ivy, yet another Batman villain: insane, sexual eco-terrorist -> a compassionate yet detatched and ruthless Anti-Villainess.

Slade Wilson/Deathstroke the Terminator from the DC Comics Universe: A sociopathic masked mercenary -> A psychopathic evil mastermind in the 2003 Teen Titans series. Many later versions of Slade, on some level, take influence from that extra evil iteration.

Tara Markov/Terra from The New Teen Titans: an incurable teen sociopath who joined the Teen Titans as a spy for the Terminator and the HIVE -> the more complex, tragic and redeemable character who, like with Slade, is an influence on all later incarnations of Terra.

Shere Khan from The Jungle Book has gone through various shifts. From the lame legged thug of the original story, the more fearsome and composed villain of the 1967 Disney film, the semi-honorable criminal businessman of TaleSpin, the more honorable vigilante jungle law enforcer of the 1994 Disney film, and the very threatening and psychotic takes on him we see in modern output like the 2016 Disney film and 2018's Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle.

And now to segue into the greater purpose behind this post: I'ma do my own villain reimaginings, to update certain villains into brand new modern takes on them I feel could land just as well as their existing OG iterations, or in some cases hold the potential to surpass them.

PART 1

PART 2

#Reimagine That Villain #villains #trivia #evil #analysis

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