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targaryenrealnessdarling · 1 year ago

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These Tender Hearts Beat as One

Aemond x widowed!female character

Summary: Aemond reunites with his childhood friend, a former ward of his mother || Word Count: 7k || Warnings: too much fucking backstory lol, p in v sex, breeding kink

Aemond could always tell when his mother was stressed. Out of all her silver-haired children, her second son had seemed the most adept at knowing before she even knew herself. All that remained was for him to discover the root of her worries, and calm her ever-heightening nerves if he could.

When Aemond was stressed, angered or oftentimes merely bored, nothing truly compared to the feeling of riding Vhagar, splitting through the air above King’s Landing to stretch her large, tattered wings. His beloved dragon appreciated the exercise in any case, restless from her days fought in wars, it was some consolation for him that flying was just as therapeutic for her as it was for him.

But when his dear mother was stressed, it was rooted in self-destruction, picking ceaselessly at her fingernails ‘til they were bloody and sore. And though he bit his tongue, not wishing to replicate the behaviour of his grandfather, sometimes it felt near impossible not to say anything, not to ask what was on her mind. So that whatever was swirling around her head with panic, could instead be shared out, and therefore less weight for her to carry.

Had Aegon done something perhaps?

Was there more trouble with Rhaenyra?

Or perhaps his father had said something to upset her, which seemed the most likely. Even in his sickly state, he was still capable of unknowing cruelty.

Even at five and ten, Aemond understood this.

His mother remained quiet, and it was not ‘til he sought out the company of his dear friend, that the truth became clear.

She had been his mother’s ward for little more than three years, and already Aemond had witnessed her enter the Keep as a clumsy, loud child and blossom into what many would consider a young woman already grown, though she was little older than Helaena.

Her age in comparison to him had never once strained their friendship. In fact, at first, when Aemond was still freshly scarred emotionally by the trauma of losing his eye, he had remembered clapping his lone eye on her and scowling, thinking of her little more than a quarrelsome child.

And, as Aegon had put it, ‘aggressively annoying’.

Which, at the time, was true enough. And yet it did not deter her from trying, Aemond would allow her the compliment of that.

She was much like him, a child created and born as a sort of secondary plan in case the first did not come to pass. A mere second daughter, and not only that, but bumped even further down the chain by her three older brothers, the eldest already wed with several children of his own. It was made abundantly clear by her own parents that she was merely another nuisance and therefore when placed into the care of the Targaryen royal family, the look of relief on their faces somewhat angered him, coupled by the manner in which they left with a goodbye that rivalled his own father’s attitude towards his children.

His empathy for her situation had drawn him to her, despite his stubbornness in wanting to pretend he did not crave friendship, especially from a girl. And her own stubbornness surprised him when he discovered she did not blindly seek the acceptance of any similar-aged child, she set her sights on Aemond alone and did not relent until eventually, he came to her instead.

He found a camaraderie with her that he had yet to find with his other siblings, feeling very much like friendship with her was more natural and spontaneous, where the ones with his family were calculated, planned and rooted in a cold necessity to keep up appearances.

Not that she cared much for appearances.

Her Septa berated her for what seemed like every other day for turning up to her needlepoint lessons with dirtied skirts and stray petals in her tangled hair, all from chasing one another through the bushes of the Keep to find some entertainment. Yet, even in the face of punishment, her smile never faltered, and insisted that it was all a bit of fun.

She somehow managed to inject her bright personality into his otherwise darkened life.

Because of her, there was beauty in everything. There was serenity in sitting in the Godswood and watching the petals settle in the breeze that ran past his neck and made him shiver. There was a startling allure when he introduced her to Vhagar for the first time and her hand ran across her darkened scales, seeing her expression lift in sheer wonder, experiencing her bewilderment as if it were the first time. And there was virtue in the innocence of their relationship, and how his heart began to swell with a childlike sense of belonging in her.

The unconditional power of her friendship he was sure was all he ever needed. In the way she always uttered, dragged away for her lessons in etiquette, but beaming at him.

‘My friendship is always yours,’ she would say, like a mantra.

‘Just as mine shall always be.’

He thought for a long while that he was the most hideous person in this world, not least since Aegon had dragged him to the brothels only a few years before. And yet when he shared a chaste kiss with her under the Weirwood tree. Clumsy and impractical and yet all magical all at once, he thought that when he was older, stronger, he would ask her to be his wife.

Aemond could feel the anxiety seeping off her as soon as he stepped into her chambers. Like she had a lot on her mind but not the courage to open her mouth and say it.

“What is it?”

His heart lurched into his chest when she lifted her head, swallowing her feelings and taking a deep, shaky breath.

“My sister has succumbed to a fever. She is dead.”

Aemond sighed, as if absorbing her grief. But when he took one step forward to comfort his friend, she shook her head, “there is more.”

Her tone of voice alone was enough to set every nerve on edge. Aemond stood as if stuck to the flagstone floor, and realised that the once clumsy, small girl he had once known was acting very much like a young woman now. Worlds apart, despite being stood before her.

“I am to honour the planned betrothal with Lord Lefford, under my father’s orders.”

It was the only moment Aemond remembered wanting to vomit with nausea, he had not felt such churning in his gut even on the day he lost his eye.

She sat, looking at him as if to gauge his reaction to the news, knowing perhaps in her own heart the feelings that were shared between them. And Aemond felt his churning nausea turn to anger, at how easily she had allowed her will to be broken by a command from her father, which in his opinion, she need not obey. She was, after all, a near half a decade younger than her sister, and the man in question older than her own father.

How could she have given up like this so easily.

“You will go through with this?”

He did not mean for his tone of voice to appear accusatory, but when he saw that wide-eyed helpless expression, he knew immediately it had.

“I can hardly argue with my father, Aemond.”

He felt his fists clench hard in his hand, fingernails creating crescent shaped indents in his flesh that reddened, his reply is stiff, “you simply act as if you have no choice in the matter.”

“Not all of us get one.”

“You cannot leave.”

“I must,” she insists, her voice breaking somewhat at the look of disappointment and betrayal on his face, “please do not make this more difficult than it already is, Aemond.”

“I am not the one making this difficult,” he replies flatly, his head throbbing with an incoming migraine, “If you are as much my friend as I am yours, you will not leave me.”

She could feel herself stepping towards him, drawn by some invisible force for comfort that he was not yet providing. She knew he could be capable of being cruel, but to be on the receiving end after all they had gone through was heart-breaking.

And though she was a year his senior, standing so small before him, she felt so much a child.

“Aemond, please-” she begged, reaching out for him and wincing when he pulled away, his brows drawn together in disgust.

“Marry him and I shall never speak to you again.”

Her hand dropped to her side as if limp, as if all life had drained from her body as well as the colour from her face. Her lip quivered, “you can't mean that.”

He looked in her eyes, the raw grief of watching her slip away filling him with an unmistakable bitterness, though for what? Her? Himself? Their friendship? He could not put it into words.

“I mean every word.”

That is the last memory he has of her, looking every bit as broken as he'd intended her to feel. In the days that followed, as her family arrived once more to steal her away, Aemond felt the gnawing grip of regret when he chose not to see her off at the courtyard, watching from his window as she scanned the space around for her good friend's presence and didn't find it.

It was then Aemond began to hate himself for every bit of cruelty enacted against her from him. Her carriage disappeared into the distance until it was nothing, leaving a pit of pain in his heart.

Not a day passed that Aemond did not at least think of her and wait for any correspondence to arrive, with his name etched into the paper in her curved, feminine handwriting.

But as he'd feared, she had taken his words to heart, and no letter ever arrived, and eventually, it felt no use counting the days and moons since he'd last seen her.

The guilt would eat away at him for years, the memory of her pained expression etched into his vision. Even as he grew into a man, it would never fully fade, though he was quick to tell himself that he shouldn’t care, that she was no longer the same girl he had loved so much, not since she chose her own fate.

In an attempt to fill the hole she'd left behind, he busied himself with the sword, intent with some level of obsession at becoming the most skilled swordsman in Westeros.

Aemond would train for hours at a time, the dull ache deep within him pushed away by the strain of sparring drills and intense workouts with the sword. Though even in the midst of training, his thoughts would always be in the back of his mind, taunting him with the guilt that he felt, the shame of how he had treated her at the end.

By itself, it was not enough, but even burying his nose in books did not blur that heavy ache. But it did not mean he could not at least try.

Which is why he sighed in annoyance as he sat by the fireplace in his chambers, a large tome opened in his lap and two knocks rapped at the door.

“Enter.”

He did not tear his attention away as the maidservant entered with a short and quick curtsy, hands clasped, “Your grace, Queen Alicent has requested your presence.”

That alone was enough to draw his attention away from his reading. His mother did not request him for a small matter.

He had wondered if perhaps Aegon had managed to slip out of the Keep again, for yet another one of his excursions into Flea Bottom, and send him to retrieve his brother.

Perhaps his mother finally thought enough time had passed and he was much of a man to suggest a marriage proposal. For some reason, the thought made him ill.

“Thank you, Ser Criston,” he heard his mother say in a muffled tone once he was announced.

Aemond raised his gaze to his mother, relieved to see her calm, and dare he say, happy.

“Aemond,” she greeted softly, her smile gentle and her touch on his arms comforting, “do not look so forlorn.”

“You wished to see me.”

“I did,” Alicent beamed, clasping her hands at her front, “Come.”

He could not help but give a puzzled expression as he walked beside his mother through the winding halls of the Keep, wondering perhaps why her behaviour was so different than usual. A sort of anxiety fed through her, but not the self-destructive kind.

“We are to receive some guests today. I would like you to greet them.”

Aemond quirked a brow, confused and somewhat annoyed in equal measure, “I am not accustomed to greeting-”

“They have travelled a long way, so remember to be courteous,” Alicent added, flashing one of her tight-lipped smiles, which only served to confuse Aemond further. His mother led him to the top of the staircase of the empty, echoing foyer and instructed quickly, “do be a gracious host, Aemond.”

He did not have a mere moment to question her, before he was watching the back of his mother disappear down the very same hallway they had just walked together. All he managed was a baffled shake of his head, as if by some miracle this was all some mad dream he had conjured. He questioned why on earth his mother would allow him to greet these esteemed guests alone, out of all her antisocial children.

But ever dutiful, he descended the stairs, hearing the low voice of Ser Westerling greeting whomever was arriving in a warm, formal tone, with their silhouettes casting blurred shadows onto the flagstone floor. Aemond’s feet were planted firmly on the step without even realising it.

This esteemed guest was no stranger to him.

Though the years had matured her gracefully, Aemond is sure he would recognise her anywhere, as she looked every bit the same as that day he regretted seeing her carriage leave King’s Landing. She stood tall, her cape fastened at her front with her house crest nestled in the middle, her dark skirts framing her womanly figure as her eyes trailed the details of the Keep that had changed since she had last been there.

Aemond stared wordlessly, the emotions so long buried resurfacing as if they had never left. His breath felt hot, his mind struggling to accept what his lone eye beheld before him. That she was here after so many years separated, in the very flesh, and yet he was unable to utter a single word.

She wandered about the space, commenting to the young woman beside her, who carried a child no older than three in her arms, how it had all looked so much larger in her youth. So he took this moment where she had not yet noticed him to look upon her with wonder, frozen entirely in place with the unexpectedness of her return. His mind raced with the thoughts of what this meeting could mean, for him, for her, and for their future; and he could not deny the strong tug of guilt in his chest for how he had treated her all those years ago, and how her renewed presence only made them more real.

Clearing his throat as he approached, the lady beside her noticed him first, “Prince Aemond,” she greeted with a curtsy, prompting her also to lay her eyes on him once more.

“Your grace,” she smiled warmly with a quick curtsy, with such a formality that made his heart ache.

He craned his head to bow lightly at her, “My Lady,” he replied with some stiffness, before gazing once more into her friendly, soft eyes and allowing his shoulders to relax, “I wondered perhaps if you would recognise me.”

Her laugh made his stomach flip, “I do not think I could ever forget you. Though I must confess, I wondered the same for myself.”

Her smile could not be described as anything less than perfect and a feeling that he harboured for her so long ago began to creep back in before he could stop it, “my Lady, I must apologise right away.”

But she shook her head, looking down at her hands, “it was a long time ago.”

He did not wish to upset her further by mentioning such an incident that had harmed his pride since, but knew that her memories of it were just as vivid as his own, “And I have not forgotten. You did what was expected for a lady in your position, and yet I was too selfish to understand that at the time. Please forgive me.”

He could not take the desperation out his tone, no matter how hard he tried. And still, she smiled sadly at his words.

“You must know that I did not wish to leave you.”

“I do,” he replied quickly, the memories of his guilt burning a hole in his throat, trying to hide the bitterness he felt towards himself, “I must confess - I have missed you greatly.”

Her hands clasped at her front, she blinked slowly and swallowed thickly, “I have missed you too.”

The silence stretched between them. Years of separation and longing had left them both yearning, but lacking the courage of knowing what to say. Aemond cleared his throat, his hands behind his back with anxiety, seeing that her ‘favoured’ husband was still not yet present.

“Are we to receive your husband as well?” he asked with some stiffness, or perhaps bitterness.

She cocked her head ever so slightly, eyebrows pulled together in confusion, until a small smile of realisation graced her features, “I regret to inform you I am recently widowed.”

In any other situation, Aemond would have been mortified at her reply. But with her smile came a rush of realisation himself, and hope swelled in his heart, and he shifted his weight from foot to foot, hoping to all the gods that she could not see the way his thought ran wild in his head, and made his breeches tighten, “Widowed-”

“Indeed. I am sorry to disappoint you, my Prince. In truth, I have just come out of mourning,” she nodded, biting back another coy smile, showing in her mannerisms that it was no great loss to her.

“I am sorry for your loss, my Lady.”

She shook her head softly, “my husband left a suitable will, so that my child and I live comfortably and so there is no need for me to pursue future marriages should I not wish to.”

Her careful wording was not lost on him, and Aemond could not help the sense of glee at this new and recent change in her life, the bitter anger at having lost her to some decrepit old man years previous seemingly dissipating. And yet despite this, he attempted to keep it hidden, not wishing to seem disrespectful to her late husband.

“Might I present you my daughter,” she added, taking the child from the woman beside her into her own and resting the shy young girl on her hip. The child’s wide-eyed innocent expression unapologetically took all of Aemond in, as children often do, and he was reminded very much of his dear friend when she was small.

She was the image of her mother, save for the slightly lighter hair, with every feature of her etched into her daughter’s youthful face. And the reality of such similarities made him feel both joy and sorrow all at once.

“She is beautiful.” His voice was quiet, seeing the child in her arms was shy and reserved, unlike her mother, but thankful somewhat that her little one was not in the slightest alike to the man she had been forced to marry. Looking into the eyes of her child felt much like staring at the girl he once knew, and with that, a rush of affection.

Aemond thought, that in different circumstances, this child could have been theirs, a shared expression of their affections for one another. That all those years ago, had her father not coerced her into honouring her late sister’s betrothal, that she and Aemond would have their own children by now.

Before he could think too long, the small girl whined in her arms and she put her down immediately, the little patter of childish feet nearly had Aemond break into a grin, watching her run off with the nursemaid chasing behind.

“I am afraid she is a curious little thing. Like mother like daughter I suppose”, she smiled brightly.

Aemond nodded, the rush of memories bringing a wistful smile to his face, “Like mother like daughter,” was all he managed to reply, watching the mischievousness unfold. Yet, once the child and the nursemaid had left them alone, she chuckled softly, feeling his heartbeat slow in pace with hers.

“May I confess something to you, without fear of judgement?” Aemond asked, his heart thudding as she nodded in return, “You may think me foolish, but I must confess that my mind still lingers on the memories of our time together, and I have found no way to erase the feelings they carry with them - your return to King’s Landing has only reinforced them,” he confessed, looking into her warm gaze, “for now, when I look at you, I cannot help but feel just as I did then.”

He watched her swallow thickly, and take a deep, meaningful breath, like what she was going to say would be heavy, “and, what feelings are those, might I ask?”

His heart felt as it was beating so fast it was cracking his ribs, throat closing with anxiety. The feelings he had tried so hard to hide with a mask of bitterness now overflowing with terrifying intensity. Yet, to say such feelings out loud to her, someone he had trusted so much in his youth, made it feel all the more real. And as he stared into her eyes, he wanted nothing more than for her to share them, despite their years of absence from one another.

“That I love you - and have from the moment I met you.”

The words came out quickly, and as soon as he uttered them he felt his cheeks grow hot, knowing her response was either one way or the other and that he, a man so long disconnected from his own feelings, hiding them with his pride for so many years, was now opening up his vulnerability.

He wanted her to love him. So desperately.

She sighed quietly in relief, “I have loved you as well. And I was saddened to have left you - and will forever be vehemently sorry for that.”

Though his relief was palpable, but he shook his head first, “You were right then, and always have been, that you had no choice or opinion in the matter. Therefore, I will accept no apologies.”

Her eyes glistened with emotion at his words, and when Aemond stepped forward and took her cheek in his palm, her breath hitched in such a way he was sure they would spill forth in tears. But the strong person she had always been, she held them back.

“I feared - you would not desire me,” she confessed quietly.

Aemond smirked, “It may take more than a few years of separation to extinguish what was once there. I have loved you since that day beneath the Weirwood Tree, and I will love you until this life ends and the next one begins.”

She gave a watery smile at his sweet words, “though I have been wed once already with a child?”

He was silent for a moment as he considered her question, and not a bit of him even wondered whether it were possible, “my love is no fickle thing,” he smiled, “in time I hope I may become as close as a father to her as I may become a husband to you.”

He watched as her unshed tears formed a constellation on her eyelashes, but a relieved smile graced her delicate features. Aemond could not remember the last time he had been this close to her, able to detect the delicate scents brushed through her hair and the way her cheeks warmed at the close proximity between them, and undeniable tension.

The thought of kissing her, having her to himself, made something arousing tighten in his breeches, to his embarrassment.

He drew in a breath, leaning forward to capture her lips, but both drew back a pace suddenly.

“My Lady! Would you care to join us for supper this evening,” Alicent smiled brightly, as if knowing some great secret seeing them both stood straight and blushing. And she had to take a moment to think and stammer out her reply,

“Oh - yes, I would be delighted-”

“Wonderful! I shall see you to your chambers,” the Queen beamed, giving Aemond a sideways glance as the two women he most respected in life walked alongside one another.

He felt as if the entire evening was a true test of his will and determination. Aemond is certain Alicent meant no ill will by inviting the woman he unequivocally loved to supper with his family; but as he sat beside her, remembering how close he had been just a few hours before, it was almost as if everyone around him was aware and simply dangling the situation in front of his face.

And he cursed any god that existed that Aegon was not drowned in his cups that night, as he usually was. On this night, he was frustratingly lucid and hyper-aware.

Helaena, at first, was impartial to the sudden get-together, but as soon as she and Helaena saw one another, it was as if no time at all had passed. They were, of course, the same age when she had been his mother's ward, and as well as with Aemond, had formed a close friendship.

The princess was of course eager to catch up, and even invited her up to dance, to which she happily obliged as Aemond watched from his spot at the table. It was nice to see Helaena happy for a change.

A sorrowful thought had occurred to Aemond that both his friend and Helaena were pressured into marriages and motherhood far too young. And seeing them very much acting like young girls with one another, only exacerbated this feeling.

They talked quickly with excitement, planning to have their children meet up with one another and play in the gardens. And while they were engrossed in conversation, Aegon slid next to his brother, with a knowing smirk on his face.

“She is just as animated as I remember,” the young prince smirked, raising his eyebrows at Aemond over the rim of his cup.

“I will hear none of your depravity about her.”

Aegon threw him a faux-offended expression, “I had not even got there yet. Do you have such a low opinion of me?”

Aemond ignored him and sipped his own Dornish Red.

“You wish to marry her.”

“And you are perceptive.”

“Gods, I love it when you compliment me.”

“And insufferable.”

“What makes you think grandfather will allow you to marry her anyway? He's a dry old cunt, he will not care if you love her or not. He would have you wed to some plain-faced twat from who-knows-where.”

For one infuriatingly brief moment, Aemond had to concede that Aegon was probably right. And with one restless finger tapping against the table, he glanced over at his mother and grandfather suspiciously squished together on one end of the table, leaning towards each other and whispering in low voices, with Otto Hightower looking at his beloved friend from beneath his brow.

They were talking about her. Discussing her. And by the expression on his grandfather, analysing her.

Aemond felt his heart beat faster at the prospect that they were speaking so secretively about her without her knowledge. It seemed a stark contrast to the way the two women on the other side of the table were laughing and smiling brightly, something so rarely seen on Helaena’s face nowadays.

“She is no maiden, that is for certain. Though if you are lucky, perhaps only the first three inches of her have been tainted by Lefford’s withered old cock.”

Aemond wrinkled his nose at Aegon’s depraved quip, despite his somewhat polite request for him not too. Perhaps he’d expected too much courtesy from his elder brother. Or perhaps, more likely, with the exciting renewed presence of Lord Lefford’s widow, Aegon felt the need to perform, and exaggerate his usual unfortunate traits of his personality.

“‘Tis almost as worse as our dear sister being wed to me.”

“I am certain there is nothing worse than that,” Aemond replied quickly, behind the rim of his cup, failing to keep his gaze from forever drifting to the figure of her from across the candles and ornaments.

Aemond found himself captivated by the way she moved, the subtle grace in her gestures that spoke volumes of the woman she had become. Gone was the innocence of youth, replaced by a quiet strength and resilience that only seemed to enhance her beauty. He couldn't help but notice the way her laughter rang out like music, filling the room with warmth and light. It was a sound he had missed more than he cared to admit, a reminder of simpler times when they were just children with the world at their feet.

But now, as he watched her twirl across the dance floor with Helaena, there was something undeniably magnetic about her presence. It was as if she had blossomed into a flower, her petals unfurling to reveal a depth and complexity that left him breathless.

He attempted not to move too quickly once the festivities were over, afraid of showing her in his actions his desperation to be close to her as he offered his arm, “might I see you to your chambers, my Lady?”

She gave a shy smile that morphed into one of amusement, and Aemond is sure he felt something akin to that stomach-flipping sensation when he was flying out on Vhagar when her hand rested on the inside of his forearm, “Very well.”

Aemond chose to ignore the low snicker of his elder brother, showing him his back instead, with the woman he loved on his arm.

“You are aware I know this Keep better than I do my own home, and am perfectly capable of finding my chambers myself?” she said with a teasing lilt.

Aemond couldn't help but chuckle softly, the sound echoing in the empty corridor. "Forgive me, my Lady. It seems my chivalry gets the better of me in your presence."

Her laughter rang out, filling the silence with warmth. "Chivalry or a desire to prolong our conversation, Prince Aemond?"

He felt a surge of joy at the playful banter, grateful for the opportunity to spend even a few moments alone with her. "Perhaps a bit of both, my Lady. Though I must admit, the thought of your company is a temptation I find hard to resist."

She looked at her feet, as if to hide the rising warmth to her face, “I must confess, it is nice to once again be somewhere familiar, with the company I admire most. When my husband was alive it could often get rather lonely.”

Aemond fell quiet for a moment, swallowing thickly, trying to navigate his feelings in the midst of a difficult situation, “I hope that he was kind to you.”

She glanced up at him, her eyes revealing a depth of gratitude that stirred something within him. "He had his moments," she admitted with a small smile, "but kindness was not his strongest suit. Still, I suppose I cannot fault him entirely. He provided for me in his own way."

Aemond could sense the underlying weight in her words, the unspoken struggles she had endured beneath the facade of mere cordiality. He didn't need to ask to know that her late husband had been less than supportive.

"You deserve far more than just provision, my Lady," he said earnestly, his gaze unwavering as he spoke.

Aemond could almost feel his heart sink as he had realised they were stood before her chamber doors, her hand slipping from his arm, and yet a fire stoking fierce then at the thought of an invitation inside.

She clasped her hands delicately, her warm eyes meeting his with a gentle intensity. "I couldn't help but notice Queen Alicent and the Lord Hand engaged in such ceaseless conversation," she remarked, her voice soft and thoughtful. "I do not wish to presume—"

Aemond, catching the subtle implication in her words, swiftly interjected, "I cannot claim to know their exact sentiments." His gaze met hers, offering reassurance without a hint of desperation. "But I refuse to allow something as trivial as their approval to deter me. I've already endured the pain of losing you once."

There was a quiet determination in his voice, a resolve that mirrored the fire in her own eyes. In that moment, they shared an unspoken understanding, a mutual agreement to pursue their feelings despite the potential obstacles that lay ahead.

She nodded, a faint smile playing at the corners of her lips. "Your courage is admirable, Prince Aemond. But we must proceed cautiously. The court is a web of intricate politics, and our actions could have far-reaching consequences."

Her words were crafted in such a way that reminded him of her personality in their youth, understanding of the repercussions and yet boldly standing tall in the face of them. And with her small, mischievous smile, he knew all the same that whatever she uttered was only done so to extend her cordiality.

"I understand," he replied, his tone tinged with determination. "But I cannot ignore what my heart tells me."

"Nor can I," she admitted softly, her gaze meeting his with a mixture of vulnerability and resolve.

Silence settled between them for a moment, the weight of their unspoken desires hanging in the air. Then, with a subtle shift in her demeanour, she turned towards her chamber door. Without a word, she reached out and gently pushed it open, leaving it ajar. A silent invitation hung in the air, enticing Aemond to step inside.

Aemond's heart skipped a beat as he watched her gesture, his pulse quickening with anticipation. Without hesitation, he took a step forward, drawn irresistibly towards the open door and the promise of privacy within.

With a shared glance filled with unspoken understanding, Aemond turned towards her chamber doors, crossing the threshold into the privacy of her chambers, where their hearts could speak freely without the constraints of the outside world.

She spoke quietly, her face illuminated warmly by the soft flicker of candlelight. "I hope you do not think less of me for this," she murmured, her voice tinged with vulnerability. "You can imagine, for me there is no great ceremony in it."

Aemond's heart swelled with tenderness at her words, his gaze filled with an understanding that transcended mere words. "I could never think less of you," he replied softly, his voice brimming with sincerity.

Aemond slowly closed the distance between them, their expressions never wavering, his steps deliberate yet gentle. He reached out, his hand cupping her face tenderly, as he gazed into her eyes with an intensity that spoke of his deep affection. In that moment, the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them suspended in a timeless embrace. The flickering candlelight cast dancing shadows across their intertwined figures, bearing witness to the union of two souls bound together by love and longing.

Her lips parted to whisper, “I do not wish for you to do all of this out of guilt-”

She caught herself when his thumb traced her cheek, waiting for him to answer, “I do not make this bid out of remorse. I wish to be with you, and I wish to make you mine.”

Aside from the crackling heat of the fire within the hearth, her breath was all that was audible between them, coming heavier from between her lips as his thumb feathered down her cheek and to her bottom lip, caressing the skin there. After that, he felt her eyelashes against his cheek flutter when he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers with a tenderness usually unbecoming of his personality.

Years of longing had each of them pressing closer to each other, lost in the sound of their soft kisses, and Aemond felt his clothing below his waist become tight with need once he caressed her tongue with his and pried her lips apart like the petal of a flower and tasting the sweet nectar within.

Her hands that had found his shoulders slid over the sleek leather to his front, tenderly and gingerly pulling the buckles apart to loosen his doublet. Her actions, instead of spurring embarrassment, renewed a deep-rooted vigour beneath, and Aemond’s new task was to pull at the laces of her dress behind her, and pull the fabric that had hidden her body from him.

He felt her shiver, pulling the heavy dress from her shoulder to pool at her waist, pushing them as fervently off her as he was able, “was he at least good to you,” Aemond asked in a whisper, his breath hot at her neck while she pulled at the laces of his breeches.

“I do not wish to speak of him,” she answered with determination and confidence, but a breathless, wanton whisper herself, wanting nothing more than to consummate years of harboured affections masked by friendship, “I only want you.”

Her words had his heart stutter in his chest, pulling her now almost bare form atop him as he sat back onto the bed, with her hair loosened like this and her shoulders blossoming with gooseflesh, he found that he was incapable of keeping his hands at his sides and explored the shape of her feminine body beneath the shift she wore.

Even the sheer motion of her brushing against his hardened member and her breasts filling his palms could have been enough for Aemond, but there was no returning at this point. She sighed against his lips as his fingers dipped beneath the hem of her shift to ruck the thin fabric up around her hips, squeezing the flesh of her thighs to pull her closer onto his lap.

Warmth bloomed at her cheeks, but it did not deter her as she reached between them and smiled at Aemond’s loud moan, stroking his rapidly hardening length in her palm, focussing her attention towards the velvety tip.

She lifted herself in his lap, fingers threaded at the hair at his nape as if to anchor herself to him, and both sighed with the utmost relief of their union once he pressed himself into her, and she sank her warmth onto him, enveloping him with her body. Her lips parted at the stretch, somewhat prepared and yet the intrusion still stealing the air from her lungs.

Foreheads pressed together, Aemond's hands gripped her at her waist, pushing his hips up into her as hard as he could to sink deeper inside her, “I have dreamt of this - for so long - being with you like this -”

A faint sheen glimmered on her collarbones as she slowly moved her hips on him, Aemond's legs parted somewhat, widening hers and opening her up more so he could rock up into her with her rhythm. The closeness of their position had the blunt head of his cock massage that sensitive patch within, her eyebrows knitted together in sweet pleasure.

“That's it -” he cooed quietly, almost watching the way she moved with admiration and curiosity, her tight, silky walls squeezing his length with every thrust of herself down. He felt her arousal coat the base of him, and the sound of their ever-quickening coupling filled the otherwise quiet chambers.

She held onto his shoulders, the amber glow of the fireplace picturing her expression in the most arousing way Aemond had ever imagined. Pulling her shift down her chest, he groaned lowly at the sight of her breasts and took one in his palm and mouthed at the other, taking her stiffened nipple between his lips in a way that made a shuddering moan slip past her lips.

“Gods - I would adore to watch you swell with my child - would you like that -”

All she could do was nod feebly, words unable to occupy her mouth where soft, sweet sounds of pleasure were pouring out. Aemond smirked, grazing his teeth over her bud.

“yes, you would like to serve your husband - give him children, wouldn't you - fuck-” his voice strained at the effort it took to hold himself back, his hands sliding down the column of her back to her plump backside, palms gripping tight and guiding her rhythm onto him, over and over.

She moaned loudly, the motion of being pulled back and forth and yet still impaling herself on him driving the fat head of his cock into the deepest and most forbidden parts of her.

“Aemond -”

“And once you have one - I'll fuck yet another one into you - keep you fat with child” his breathing grew ragged and shaky, “- take it - like a good little wife should-”

“Yes - yes-” she breathed quickly, the words slipping out without realising what they were for, her blind acceptance of being his wife, or the rising waves of pleasure coursing white, hot through her body.

He felt her squeezing him and hastened both of her rhythms, dragging her back into his lap and pushing up into her wet heat ceaselessly. Both the numbing ache of her peak and her bud rolling against his body in quick succession had her hands gripping around him, burying her face in the crook of his neck as her limbs flooded with warmth.

“That's it, ābrazyrys -”

“Gods, Aemond-” she squeaked, completely overcome and possessed by the heights of pleasure rolling through her, the endless rhythm of him fucking up into her only prolonging it.

Her tight walls squeezed him so deliciously that Aemond's heart leapt into his throat, completely surprised as he pulsed thickly and spilled within her, his lone eye tightly shut. His own fulfilment had his hips twitching, shallowly pushing his seed into her, and hoping that it took.

Even once he was completely spent and exhausted, softening inside her, neither moved, and he simply felt her tender fingertips at his shoulders in light soft circles, massaging him. And thought, that this is how it always should have been, had he fought for her.

Her breath fluttered against his skin, herself tired in exertion from their shared pleasure.

“I was a fool - for allowing you to slip from my grasp.”

She sat up, to look down at him, her face flushed, hair in messy waves, looking every bit as beautiful as the day he'd lost her.

But she smiled, her finger tracing the pattern impressed on the leather of his eye patch, “you may have been a fool,” she started.

Her finger hooked beneath it, and lifted it away, her expression unchanged as her thumb stroked the indent of the scar at his cheek. Aemond felt his heart soar in a way that almost felt terrifying.

“I never slipped from your grasp,” she uttered gently, “my heart was always yours.”

Aemond brushed her hair from her features, her words sending waves of ecstasy thrumming in his veins.

“Just as mine shall always be.”

General Taglist: @aemondsfavouritebastard @bellstwd @blairfox04 @buckybarnesb-tch @castellomargot @hb8301 @jamespotterismydaddy @mochi-rose @natty2017 @nenelysian @randomdragonfires @risefallrise @thelittleswanao3 @theoneeyedprince @thetrueblackheart @tsujifreya @urmomsgirlfriend1 @valeskafics @valleyof-goldenlilies @virtualsweetsqueen @watercolorskyy @emmaisafictionwhore @minholy223

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gay-dorito-dust · 6 months ago

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LOOK. This post is for a huge joke. Pardon me for God's sake

Bill can control people's bodies? He takes over their minds and does shit.

What if he took over a person's body to find out what physical sex is?

He still wouldn't understand what's so interesting about it. BUT! After that a reader was born lol

Bill somehow finds out about it and when he meets the reader he dramatically screams "I AM YOUR FATHER/MOTHER (he takes a second to try to remember whose human body he was in for effect)!!!! YOU WERE CREATED BY ME! YOU ARE MY CHILD!!!"

The Pines family is already on automatic in horror looking at Bill, then at the reader, thinking their a traitor, but then all beginning to question the reality of what's happening

What if! Reader gets powers since they’re technically Bill’s kid? I just like the thought of that for some reason! Reader who’s bill’s kid but has powers, it’s not the least weirdest thing in Gravity Falls in comparison to their parentage.

I can just imagine you’re hanging out with the Pines family, having no recollection of your father/mother as they were never talked about but there was obvious signs that they weren’t…normal to say the least. Other than that you weren’t all too miffed about not knowing who they were as they clearly had no intentions of staying even if they did.

So imagine while your on your phone, Mabel is doing some arts and crafts, Stan was watching tv while Dipper and Ford were comparing notes they both made about their latest monster hunt, Bill just appears out of nowhere and was about to say something sarcastic but his eye landed on you and all he says is;

Bill: You! *points at you* I am your creator and you side with my enemies to kill me! I did not raise you like this at all!

You: who the fuck- you didn’t even raise me! Who the fuck are you!

Bill: your mom/dad! You’re grounded forever for interacting with the enemy!

Mabel is looking between you and Bill much like everyone else. ‘You’re y/n’s mom/dad? Is this a joke because it was a bad one. How can you be y/n’s parent! You’re a triangle!’ She cries.

Ford furrows his brows. ‘Unless he’s possessed someone during this time.’

The pines family just all looked to you and you couldn’t help but feel a little upset at how quick they were to suddenly become suspicious of you.

You: why the fuck are you looking at me! I’m learning this just the same as you! What? you’re thinking that I was playing coy on Bill’s order? *scoffs* typical.

Bill: *appears on your shoulder* it’s just me and you kiddo. You don’t need these losers. Parent and child, ruling over Gravity Falls side by side, we could make this a family business!

You: piss off Dorito chip. I don’t owe you shit.

Bill: like a chip off the old block aren’t cha! *playfully punches your shoulder*

The pines family: ????

#gravity falls x reader #gravity falls imagine #gravity falls imagines #gravity falls

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faeble-drabbles · 7 months ago

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Hello! I could go for some NSFW poly Vegeta x reader x Bulma 👀 maybe a one shot where the reader is a bit insecure about her looks compared to Bulma (bc let’s be honest she’s super hot)? Thank you 😁

I've been wanting to respond to this one for a while //sobs But work training has been kicking my ass lol (Imagine going from potato lifestyle to immediate athletics work + kids)

So I'm still a bit tired so I can't do a full one shot story style, but I WILL do my usual headcannon style!

NSFW under the cut so MINORS DNI - 18+

•°• VEGETA x Insecure!Reader x BULMA •°•

+ Imagine you all had gone to a beach trip the week before. You were ready to stun your two lovers in the new swimsuit you picked out. But all that confidence went out the window when Bulma came out in her bikini looking absolutely gorgeous.

+ Ever since the trip you got a bit distant and it was starting to show little by little. Bulma and Vegeta had not a single clue why you would be upset, especially after such a nice vacation. It wasn't until they notice you staring solemnly at your reflection in a full body mirror that Bulma got a hint. Vegeta on the other hand needed some explaining.

+ Bulma would slip into the room behind you, wrapping her arms lovingly around your body. "What's with the sad face? You're looking at such a beautiful figure~ What is there to frown about?"

+ At first you tried to jokingly brush it off and tell her you were fine, but Bulma has her ways of getting the answers she wants. It wasn't long before you admitted to her how you felt...lacking in comparison. Bulma was both flattered and upset when hearing this. She was happy you felt so highly about her physique, but not if it meant shaming your own figure.

+ A small smirk appeared on Bulma's face as she hatched an idea. Her hands began to roam over your body. "I think all of you is stunning...your legs...your hips...I especially love these" As the words trailed from her lips, her hands traveled underneath the fabric of your top and began to massage your breasts.

+ You moaned and squirmed as she worked your breast with one hand as the other began to slip downward into your panties. "I think this part of you is quite beautiful too..." She purred before slipping her fingers between your folds.

+ Bulma would then turned you to face Vegeta (Which caught you off guard, how long had he been standing there??) tugging your clothes out of the way so she could put you on display for the prince. "Anything you'd like to say to our beautiful lover??" Vegeta just let out a grunt in response as he stepped forward. He definitely was not the type to show his affection with words, but he had other ways of showing it.

+ You were perfectly sandwiched between the two of them. Vegeta had captured your mouth in an intense make-out session and had wedged his thick thigh between your legs to grind on. Meanwhile Bulma was continuing her ministrations with your breast with one hand and toying with your clit in the other as she nibbled on your neck.

+ It didn't take long before your orgasm hit you hard, causing your body to shudder between the two of them as you rode it out. Vegeta gave you a smug look as he tilted your chin up at him. "Don't think we are done just yet..." You heard Bulma chuckle behind you as she leaned her head on your shoulder. "Oh definitely not...We are going to show you how much we love this body of yours...even if it takes all night~"

+ Prepare for a night of body worship and a LOT of orgasms.

#dbz x reader #bulma x reader x vegeta #vegebul x reader #vegebul #bulma x reader #vegeta x reader #smut #minors dni

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lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 8 months ago

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Hello! I read your "Third Enoshima" works, and I've gotta say that I absolutely loved them! If it isn't much trouble, would you mind writing something with a Third Enoshima!Reader who is constantly comparing themselves with their sisters?

They're still going agaisnt their plain of causing despair of course, but they can't help but feel a bit insecure of not having such a fit and strong figure like Mukuro or how they don't even get close to having such a nice and clear skin like Junko as they wash their face with a bar of handsoap. They refuse to join dinners and constantly push themselves to the extreme to try and please the other student, it goes from simple, yet harmful, things like wearing clothes they are clearly uncomfortable wearing to doing some heavy physical training without having eating anything since they woke up. Is it detrimental to their health? Yes! Will they stop? ...probably not...definitely not.

I wonder how their classmates or even their sisters would react or what comments they'd make towards Reader's behavior! (If they don't already have their ears ringing by the end of Ishimaru's lecture, lol.

(Sorry if this is written badly, English is not my first language!)

Comparison | Yandere Danganronpa with Third Enoshima Reader

It’s a phase that usually comes when you’re a preteen

But it’s not hard if it stretches further

They both are so amazing – despair aside

They’re able to excel in their alternative ultimates just fine

Using their skills to further their agenda

All while still having the time to dote on you

It’s easy to compare

Is it because they are insane that they’re so talented

Or is it just the genes you happened to miss out on

Whatever it is it haunts you and it’ll eventually slip out

Whether with a snide comment or a nervous questioning

They notice awfully quick

“Dawww Baby-bird wants to be just like us! Then quit yer whining and follow me!”

Junko sees it as a compliment and an invitation to put you in despairing situations

Of course, you may not know your life isn’t in danger with her but she’ll let you believe it

Constantly goading you to be like her

She’ll dress you like her, get a wig if she has to

Before Mukuro pulls you away seeing that this isn’t working

“(Y/n) you are perfect in your special way! If you’d like to do what I do I’d be happy to teach you!”

Taking you to shooting ranges and destroying you in paintball or airsoft

Just shows the distance between you two even better

She’ll try and get you to try wielding more simple weapons

Dazzling you with her speedy knife skills

Unfortunately though, instead of cheering you on she ends up just gushing over you

“Aaa~you look so cute with your little bulletproof vest. M-maybe I should have you wear my helmet~!”

“Mukuro I don’t think this is–”

“J-j-just a few more pictures! Aaa~ I can’t wait to wear this after you.”

They aren’t much help in the end

Both just letting you slink off

Your sisters aren’t exactly emotionally available enough to coach you through it

But there are…some intentions

If it lasts all the way until you get your ‘tailored’ classes at Hope’s Peak

there are very few who actually notice what you mean when you vaguely comment about what you’re missing

“(Y/n) you seem to be especially hurt about your features, why is that?”

Celestia won’t beat around the bush

She wants to know who put this silly notion in your head

She needs to know if she needs to kill them

Knowing it’s your sisters makes her hesitate

You’d be upset about it right

But she’s going to bluntly tell you what your strengths because clearly your too dumb to see it

“I’m going to list all your admirable traits clearly. So listen closely.”

Nekomaru oddly enough pays enough attention to you and works his hardest to understand what those comments you make are all about

“IF YOU WANT TO GET THOSE THINGS IN YOUR LIFE WE’RE GOING TO GET THOSE THINGS YOU HEAR ME!”

“What are you talking about!”

His goal is to coach you on the areas you feel like you are lacking

Even if he doesn’t know about that particular area

So he takes the extra time he’s forced+ into spend with you to praise you for the little things.

“YEAH!!!!THAT SEEMED LIKE A SUCCESSFUL NUMBER 2 ONLY YOU COULD PULL OFF!”

“Nekomaru! I went number 1 and it’s not that big a deal!”

“YEAH IT IS! IT’S BECAUSE YOU DID IT! BECAUSE YOUR THE BEST HUMAN IN THE WOOOORLD!”

He honestly has no other idea how to get across his affection

Not without ruining his image as the ultimate team manager

He also invites you to train with him and Akane if only to see you use your cute muscles in person

And to find your weaknesses so he can be your savior

Despite his boisterous persona his encouragement and praise is honestly kind of helpful

Someone else who’s really helpful is someone who relates

“(Y/n)...for a long time I’ve pretended to be someone I’m not. Settling to just compare myself to the people I wish I could be. But now I’ve changed and I’ve decided to work on making myself more like them in my own way! I-if you want w-w-we can do it together? The….training I mean….yeah.”

Chihiro knows the feeling and if you take him up on his offer he’s thrilled

More time to plant new tracking devices

Even better with the preplaced cameras

Taking your insecurities and turning them into things you’re working on helps a lot with self-esteem

Giving you a lot more pride when you do compare and notice changes

It’s not perfect but it’s helping you

And it’s surely going to bring you and Chihiro closer

Maybe even close enough that you’ll come into his room

Your sisters will be happy…in their own way that you’re happy

But if you notice they start putting more urgency into their plan for despair

It may have something to do with the amount of time and smiling you’ve done with others in Hope’s Peak

“I can’t wait to show those neets the truest extent of despair! It’s going to be euphoric!”

“KillthemallKillthemallKillthemallKillthemallKillthemallKillthe-.”

“Patience, despair is coming Piggie! You know what just to give them a taste maybe we’ll make sure (Y/n)’s got to take a couple of sick days! I can’t wait to watch it eat at them when they don’t respond to their messages!”

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usuallydyinginside · 3 months ago

Text

Dragon Age Veilgard Spoilers 👇

TLDR: I never want to hear anyone criticize Neve about “the choice” in Act 1 ever again.

I’m on my second play through for DAV, and one of the things I was most curious about was how the Act 1 choice changes the game. I’ve seen endless hate for Neve and the way she acts if you don’t save her city, and was curious if Lucanis is like weirdly graceful and forgiving about it by comparison.

lol, NOPE.

Here’s the thing, friends. Yes, Neve’s upset when you don’t go to her city, but Lucanis is so much worse about it AND HAS SO MUCH LESS JUSTIFICATION?!?

If you save Treviso:

You’re told upfront that the Venatori will take over if you don’t save Neve’s home. What you aren’t told is that their first order of business before you can even show up post-dragon is to immediately find and wipe out the Shadow Dragons. When you next visit the city, you’ll find a bit of damage from the dragon but there are literally corpses and gallows littering every street—many wearing Shadow Dragon uniforms. Every NPC that you meet at the Shadow Dragon headquarters is either dead or only shows up very occasionally for quests. The entire SD base is deserted, and they basically tell you that everyone but like four people have been killed. Keeping in mind, of course, that this is an org made up primarily of regular and poor people who are fighting against a corrupt regime to end slavery. That was their crime.

Oh, and to top it all off, Neve tells you that her own m little apartment was destroyed too. She has a whole conversation about how the Lighthouse is her only home and your team is most of her remaining family.

Even with all of this, even with how angry and grieving and hurt Neve is, she still forgives you. You can still fully romance her or raise her friendship high. You just have to work for it.

MEANWHILE…

If you save Minrathos:

To me, it sounded like it would be way worse. They put up a big show of how it’ll be mostly civilians who are harmed and how the water will be poisoned. Hence, the first time I did it, I went the other route and saved Treviso.

Except it’s comparatively not nearly as bad?!? The Crow headquarters is, by my count so far, missing only 3 people (Fletcher, Heir, and guy I am suddenly blanking on name who gives a couple quests). All the important Crows are not only still alive—they��re still exactly where you expect. They talk about how empty it is, but it’s really not very and outside in the courtyard it’s downright crowded with crows. Illario is alive and well (haven’t gotten to other surprise family member but I will be shocked if they aren’t also just fine). Teia and Viago are fine. Even Jacobus is so far just fine.

Lucanis still has a giant ass mansion, a fortune, his family, and the majority of the Crows. The Blight is presumably fixable by the end of the game (unlike the Venatori taking over), and the city shows a lot of signs it’ll recover just fine. The only corpses are from the dragon attack which would have really been there anyway despite what the game shows cause either way a big ass dragon attacked.

However, Lucanis becomes immediately dropped as a romance option if you don’t save his city. He reacts objectively more severely after losing far less.

To be clear, I don’t even mind him reacting that wqy! It makes sense if either of them do. What I mind is how many fans are channeling their internalized sexism into dissing my girl Neve.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#dragon age veilguard #rook dragon age #dragon age #neve gallus #da veilguard #dav #lucanis dellamorte #justice for Neve #the choice #leave Neve alone

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breadandlottery · 3 days ago

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I think I'm going to make people upset but let's go Do you think Gi Hun has grown in terms of character development? In my opinion, what bothers me most about round 6 is the lack of significant growth in gi hun because he doesn't seem to have lost several people in the first season he remains naive I expected an improvement or development from a person who has already won the games. I would like you to answer me, I love your analyses.

My dear anon, apologies in advance for what is sure to be a very lengthy response…

I would like to say first that this is a tough question for me to answer with confidence since we haven’t seen season 3 and because it feels a little like a season 2A and season 2B situation.

I’ve been working through scenes that I’m flagging in my mind for moments that should have raised red flags for Gihun but, from what we’re shown, didn’t. As I often tag ramble about, I do hold out some hope that he had legitimate suspicions of 001 and a loose backup plan. I have also noted that, interestingly, s2 does not have any of the flashback/realization scenes we were given several times in s1 and honestly, that feels very intentional? Like we’re supposed to notice it’s missing (I also have thoughts about ADHD Gihun, but that may just be me projecting because I’m real familiar with the exact kind of lightbulb moments he has, lol). My hunch/hope is that the show has been misdirecting us to make us believe everything you just said about the apparent lack of character development.

Now, I do think there has absolutely been character evolution. I can understand fans not seeing it as “development”, because I think we tend to think of character development as positive growth, but honestly, it doesn’t have to be… like a villain arc is still character development (just an example, I do not think this is a villain arc situation). I think instead of a lack of character development, I’d be more apt to call it a lack of “learning his lesson” or a lack of apotheosis (the point of realization/epiphany).

If we view squid game as monomyth/hero’s journey, he’s kind of not to the point yet where that would have happened (because the end of S2 would be the abyss?). Now, am I certain that the story being told is a hero’s journey? No, although I am somewhat confident.

So— I'm working under the assumption that we have a hero’s journey told in trilogy format. We have a LOT of comparison media out there… the Matrix, Star Wars, LOTR, among the most popular. What does the end of the middle installment of all of these have in common? They’re bleak af.

Matrix: Neo unconscious, Agent Smith breaking into the real world

Star wars: Luke battles Vader and loses his hand/almost dies, Han encased in carbonite

LOTR: Gollum’s betrayal, battle of Helm’s Deep (a win but with an ominous warning accompanying it)

The psuedo trilogy structure is where I do feel slightly perturbed at netflix for passing off a split season as 2 separate seasons. With a “real” trilogy, each component should be able to stand alone (like with 3 act structure-- set up-> conflict -> resolution) which is true of the examples above because the primary narrative conflict is actually resolved but super not true of squid game s2. Which means s2 and 3 combined could be the middle of the trilogy, with the mystery future season being the final part, but I don’t know that that’s in the cards.

As an aside, we could just be totally wrong about the direction this is going in. Narrative arcs that involve the protagonist “learning a lesson” isn’t a universal concept. I always think of James Bond movies (especially the older ones) as an example of a “flat arc” character, because like, if you sleep with her she’s probably gonna die James, didn’t you learn this last time? If you’re too reckless there will be consequences, didn’t you learn this last time James? Like. That guy never learns. Not every character learns from their mistakes. Do I think Gihun is ultimately gonna be a flat arc character? No. Is it possible? I guess, man, look at the world, anything’s possible!!

So, ugh, sorry that’s a ton of speculation and uncertainty that isn’t directly answering your ask, but I do think that any of these possibilities can explain what we’re calling a lack of character development because we’re just not at that point in the story yet.

NOW.

Personally, I do think that Gihun is very perceptive, and I hold out hope that he wasn’t as trusting and oblivious as we’re made to think. I also believe that even if that is the case, he’d still have further to go/more development needed before he could actually reach the end of his journey. The reason for this (and I think one of the reasons people sometimes think of him as not smart) is the narrowness of his worldview. Not narrowmindedness, just literally not having broad knowledge about the world. Like not knowing where Pakistan was. Or not really getting that neither he nor the Frontman have the power to end what's happening because it is a symptom of a much larger, systemic problem. And in complete fairness to this sweet man, lack of perspective and a narrow worldview is an incredibly common flaw in people.

So a few things that can be interpreted as Stagnation or Lack of Development:

Still a gambler: as seen in Russian Roulette and in going back into the game. Definitely risky, definitely reckless. He is like kinda suicidal though, so I don’t know that the underlying cause of this behavior is the same as it was in s1.

Still just out here trusting everyone: Yeah. That’s what he does, though. He came right out and said it, he doesn’t do it because he thinks people are trustworthy, he does it because what else is he gonna do? Is this a dumb-as-shit approach that should be “character-developed” out of him? Or is it a very important key defining feature of who he is as the hero of the story? I could go either way on that, tbh.

Naïve/easy to fool: I don’t think he ever was all that easy to fool, I think he consciously chose to let a lot of things slide and/or second-guessed his intuition because people called him stupid and slow all the time.

Things that I think are Character Development

Ability to Focus: Maybe I’m ADHD projecting again, but this guy was all over the place in the beginning of s1, now he’s running a whole ass operation (maybe the medicine Mr Kim brought over was secretly adderall lol).

Leadership: I’ve said all along he just naturally exudes leadership, but he wasn’t really aware of it or comfortable with it in s1. In s2 he’s really embracing decision-making (even if they’re bad decisions) and seems comfortable being the one planning and leading, which is impressive.

So. To sum up a very very long answer:

I do see character development, if not the “hero finally learned his lesson” kind

I do still think it’s possible that Gihun wasn’t quite as clueless as we’re shown, and I’ll cling to this delusion until at least June 27th lol

I think it’s possibly too early in the narrative for his full revelation, anyway, but-

Part of why that feels “off” is because s2 is missing the “last Act” of the story it was telling (like don’t split a sequel in 2 and try to shoehorn it into a trilogy if it’s not an actual trilogy please for the love of god it throws off the balance)

#nice human #anon #squid game #squid game meta #squid game analysis #characterization #character development #more capital T Thoughts about the narrative #i will say that everything i know about hwang dong hyuk makes me trust him to take the narrative and the characters exactly where they need #to go #is any of this at all accurate or am I just blinded by my unconditional love and devotion to the character #the world may never know #analysis

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the-real-sasuke-uchiha · 1 month ago

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It's been, like, a decade since the story has completely ended (... I don't acknowledge that spin off with the kids or the weird novels), but I still don't understand what people mean when they say Sasuke has a lot to apologize/repent for. What exactly does he have to apologize for? The only thing he ever did wrong was attack Karin to get to Danzo, and he already apologized to her for that. His desire for vengeance was completely selfless and motivated by love and respect for his clan. He didn't attack innocents. He didn't involve anyone else in his problems. Yet, so many fans love how Shikamaru got revenge on Hidan when, to me, it just emphasizes how selfless and justified Sasuke is in contrast. Shikamaru wants to avenge Asuma who died fairly in battle on a mission because he wasn't strong enough. He even tells Tsunade he would leave the village regardless of if she allowed it or not. He involved Ino and Chouji, rushed in without knowledge of Kakuzu, and almost got them killed immediately. And Asuma is just a teacher! not even a fmily or clan member! They all would've died if it weren't for Kakashi being there to help them. Whereas Sasuke takes on his burden alone.

And for all that the fandom likes to critique Kishimoto on his writing choices, he's not a horrible writer. This sequence is purposeful. Shikamaru was the one who led the Sasuke retrieval mission. And shortly after Hidan's death, Sasuke kills Itachi. It was a well-structured sequence showing the validity of Sasuke's motivations compared to Shikamaru's whose motives weren't as justified in comparison, despite the validity of his feelings.

So, it's not that no one in the story can understand Sasuke--they can! All the characters just want to project things onto Sasuke. Naruto wants Sasuke to be a surrogate/prerequisite for the village to validate his sense of self and carry the burden of Naruto's loneliness. Sakura wants him to return her empty "love." Kakashi wants to right his wrongs vicariously through Sasuke and making him return Sakura's affection like he wished he could have for Rin, be a present friend for Naruto like he wishes he could have for Obito, not seek revenge because Kakashi is a mediator meant to to maintain the status quo in the village (a guard dog/"Hound" lol). Itachi wants Sasuke to be a blank slate anyone can impress whatever upon: he wants Sasuke to value the village over their clan and family (which itself is incomprehensible with the feudal structure the setting is based on). The village, and Naruto once he becomes Hokage, wants Sasuke to be a tool to use for the village's benefit. Maybe the only thing Sasuke has to apologize for is being a the protagonist of a revenge-based seinen but forced to be the deuteragonist in a battle shounen 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Dear anon, thank you for this gem. I don't know what else to add, because this is so perfect on its own.

For the record, I dislike Shikamaru, but I think he was right to want to avenge his sensei and go after Hidan. What is totally enraging is that he gets sympathy and assistance for doing all the things that Sasuke is trashed for. He is hateful and vengeful, and nobody tells him to just let go and not get consumed by revenge. He risks his friend's lives and gets zero reproaches, while Sasuke gets emotionally blackmailed by Naruto for all the kids that risked his life trying to forcefully bring him back, even when Sasuke had zero control over that. Kakashi goes far and beyond to help him, when he had tied Sasuke to a tree to lecture him about revenge. There is just so much hypocrisy that it hurts.

I am tired of reading all the ridiculously absurd "wrongs" that Sasuke supposedly did. This is a freaking show about murderer ninjas, but nobody seems to have a body count except for Sasuke. Which gets inflated to ridiculous levels, because Sasuke is apparently to blame not only for the crimes he committed, but also for the ones he imagined. He has no right to be angry and upset, he has no right to fight for his justice, because, in a world where the end justify the means and shinobi are meant to behave as tools that sacrifice everything for a mission, Sasuke is the only ninja that is demanded to find his way without even scratching a fly.

Sasuke has nothing to apologise for. He is the one being owned serious apologies and reparations. From everyone. From Sakura, for sexually harassing and trying to murder him. From Kakashi, for being the shittiest and most biased sensei, for being a hypocrite hokage that never attempted to make justice and for never prosecuting the surviving instigators of the Uchiha massacre. And from Naruto, for glorifying Hiruzen and for the same reasons as hokage Kakashi, because he too swept everything under the rug and never even tried to make justice.

Sasuke did nothing wrong. He grew just too magnificent for an antagonist, and they had to murder his character and his soul to make main character shine in his dumbness.

#ask #anon #pro Sasuke Uchiha #Sasuke did nothing wrong #anti Naruto #anti Naruto ending #anti Shikamaru #anti Kakashi #anti Hiruzen #anti Sakura #anti Itachi #anti Konoha

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faynthearted · 1 month ago

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(this is going to be a ramble about boring writing stuff btw)

I’ve been consciously working on my writing style lately. I came across some fantastic and life-changing writing advice a few months ago, and since I’ve started implementing it, it’s made me hyperaware of other things too.

in case you’re interested, the writing advice was essentially about eliminating the word “know.” for example, instead of saying, “He knows she’s upset,” you can write something like, “Her eyes are fiery and hard, her upper lip curling up.” basically, don’t just say a character knows something — tell your readers how they know. describe what they’re experiencing, emphasize things that are directly observable. one person said something like pretend you’re cross-interrogating the character in court. when asked how they know something, how would they answer? that’s how you should describe things in your writing. but anyway.

practicing that advice made me realize I struggle with another thing: the verbs “think” and “feel.” if you’re writing from only one character’s POV (which I always do), it’s obvious that whatever you’re writing is what the character is thinking or feeling. more often than not, you can straight up delete phrases like, “He thinks it’s unfair,” and just turn it into, “It’s unfair.”

same thing for the verb “feel.” instead of saying, “He feels the mattress sink as she sits beside him,” just say, “The mattress sinks as she sits beside him.”

and while you’re at it, just get rid of the verb “see” altogether. don’t say, “He sees the cat walk by,” just say, “The cat walks by.” precise/concise language wins every time!

of course, you can’t always avoid using those words. it’s not a cardinal sin to use them. but imo, the quality of writing increases exponentially when you find ways around them. the first piece of advice about not using “know” is especially impactful. I seriously am having so much more fun with my writing ever since practicing it! and it’s crazy to see how often I habitually rely on “know,” “feel,” and “think” in my writing.

the author of that initial advice also discussed not using “is” either, but that’s something I’m still working on. for example, instead of saying, “She is a kind person,” say something like, “She puts out a bowl of wet food for the stray cats every morning, making sure to wave hello to her neighbors on the porch while she’s at it. Her toothy smile brightens their day every time. No one in the neighborhood has ever hesitated to approach her for a quick chat.”

so yeah. boring stuff, I know. idk if anyone will even read this. but I promise, as a writer, it’s really fun to try all of this!

I’m in the process of thoroughly editing/revising all the available chapters of desecration before I post chapter ten and my god, there are some improvements I’ve made/added that are really neat imo. I kinda wanna post a before-and-after example lol. I always lament the fact that there’s no real equivalent to the WIPs, speedpaint videos, and “artist growth comparison” posts of drawn/painted artwork when it comes to written works… but that’s a topic for another day lol 🫶🏼

#fay talks #writing advice #also the revised chapters of desecration haven’t been posted yet so don’t go looking for them! I’m gonna release/update them all at once #probably at the same time that I post ch 10

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dufferpuffer · 18 days ago

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In what ways would you say Molly and Arthur are different?

Aside from a shared intense love for their children, the ability to command a room and a blazing rage at injustice - a lot.

Molly reacts with emotional fear and defensiveness. Her no. 1 focus is keeping people 'safe', even if it means hurting them - but she doesn't think about the big picture. She just does what feels best at the time and can get explosive when things don't go her way. She wants to control others so her anxieties quieten - even if that means trimming their wings and tying them down.

Arthur reacts with pragmatism, empathy - a more open mind. He is more concerned with the emotional health of people. He isn't reckless but he treats safety practically, not as a gut feeling. Without a fear as deep as Molly's (she can't defeat a boggart) he feels more safe if they are well informed. He hates the idea of tying people down from their wants, whims and dreams.

Arthur can be more passive than Molly - but he isn't afraid or unable to stand up to her, speak against her or reason with her. He is her anchor, cooling her down and pulling her leash, while she drives him forward and keeps him focused.

+ When finding out there was a werewolf in the same hospital room as Arthur - Molly reacted with knee-jerk prejudice. Despite knowing Remus she immediately questioned if he was safe to be around.

Arthur, meanwhile, reminded her it was still two weeks till the Full Moon (aka the New Moon, the furthest time away from Full Moon) and he had already tried to give the werewolf comfort and camaraderie.

+ Molly was against telling Harry about Sirius Black. She thought he would be scared to know the truth, that they should trust Hogwarts to be safer than Azkaban - and trust that Dumbledore and the Dementors can handle everything. She doesn't show much understanding of Harry and is upset when engaging with the concept of Sirius Black at all. 'But no one's really sure that Black's after Harry-'

Arthur puts his foot down and insists he not only has a right to know - but knowing that Harry and Ron are both cheeky wanderers who will find ways to slip out of iron-grips, if they don't fully understand the danger they are in they'll walk right into it.

+ Molly doesn't like Fred And Georges' desire to be business owners. She is constantly questioning them and even destroying their hard work to stamp it out of their heads. She is frustrated that they didn't get amazing OWLs like their brothers, instead 'wasting their time and money' planning and experimenting for their dreams.

Arthur, while still apprehensive about them taking risks - and in general passive regarding his wife's temper - shields them. He warned against them betting their money but allowed it to happen, he told them off harshly for testing a sweet on Dudley but then tried to protect them from their mothers anger... he is less strict about their behavior in general, engaging with the fun of it. They're the first ones to shout 'Dad's back!' when he comes home.

... Not comparisons - just some extra little things I thought of: Molly is appalled by things like Bill's long hair, Muggle medicine being used to try and save her husbands life, gnomes in her garden - she wants things to be controlled to her standards - and 'normal'. She can hate something one minute, like Fleur or her twins' dreams, but flips to loving them deeply when they please her sensibilities. She seems to struggle to understand the strengths of others, or anticipate their viewpoints.

Arthur thinks gnomes are funny, that House Elves deserve better treatment and is sensitive to Muggles in fear and confusion. He can drive, which I think is fun. He doesn't mind bending rules for the sake of fun - if done responsibly. He understands others' strengths and needs and treats them with a high level of importance - he never tries to control, only reason.

Okay this turned into a ramble - one day I wanna do a big meta post on this lol. But this is what you get for now B^)

#hp #arthur weasley #molly weasley

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prettyboykatsuki · 2 years ago

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not enough trust to believe (not enough feeling to care) | a. shinonome

✮ tags ; fem!reader (usage of she/her towards reader + mentioned to wear make-up), established relationship, making-up, jealousy, hurt/comfort, light angst / happy ending, aged-up characters (this is sfw), single suggestive comment at the end.

✮ wc ; 4k (how.. literally what happened.)

✮ a/n ; the minute i touch that app a demon takes over and i end up daydreaming about this mf and toya . peace and love i feel insane. also for what its worth i do think adult akito is very good at communicating his emotions in comparison to now so if u find him ooc my apologies.

title from rental by brockhampton. shoutout if u know what manga this panel is from lol. also if ur a minor please do not follow me. u r welcome to read.

"Y'know, Akito - you're being a bit of a hypocrite right now."

"Shut up, Toya." Akito grumbles, forcing himself to tear his eyes away from the bastard you're currently giggling with "I'm not."

An laughs from the other side of the room.

"You so are being a hypocrite right now," An threads her fingers through Kohanes hair, the other currently seated on the floor while she styles it "What was it you said? It's nothing to get jealous over so don't worry."

"Akito-kun, it's not good to be dishonest."

"Kohane-san, you're being corrupted. I can't believe you'd join these two on this."

Kohane shakes her head.

"I'm not being anything. It's just not right."

An wraps her arms around Kohane's shoulders from above, chin resting on her head. Akito sighs, leaning his head back on the wall behind him with his eyes still closed - only bothering to open them again when another giggle falls from your lips. This time it turns into full blown heart eyes from that corny bass-playing bastard.

Akito Shinonome is not jealous alright? He isn't. So, this reaction is not by any means hypocrisy.

VIVID BAD SQUAD has officially been on tour for 6 months. This is their first international tour of their career, after releasing their first studio album. It was received well in Japan but surprisingly had more of an audience overseas. So, they'd been performing all over North America with another band.

You've been apart of the VIVD BAD SQUAD team for quite some time before then, working as a roadie for tours back home. Akito has been dating you for well-over a year, and so far - its been great. He gets to see you often and manages to sneak you onto the performers tour bus sometimes. He likes not having to be apart, even if he is incredible busy. A little is better than nothing at least.

A few months ago, the two of you got into a bit of a spat. You'd told Akito that you think he gets a little too friendly when girls come to meet him backstage. Went on a whole spiel about understanding his career and persona, that he doesn't need to be cold but that you wish he put a little more distance between them.

Akito had retaliated with the fact it's nothing to worry about. He's loyal to you and him being friendly isn't anything meaningful. You were upset about this reply and the two of you got pretty intense.

It took Kohane and An's intervention and plenty of convincing to get you two back on good terms - with An promising that she'd keep and eye out and scold Akito properly. You started talking again after that at least, and things went back to normal.

But nothing had really gotten resolved. You still seemed to feel upset every time he'd act too familiar with fans and Akito still didn't see it as a problem. To him it was just a fake part of the persona, and he didn't think it was like you to get so jealous about something like that.

Then, a few months ago - word got out that the bassist of the band they're traveling with has a crush on you.

FLASHBANG, a smaller indie rock band that everyone on tour is very fond of and a perfect addition to their set list. Both bands are friendly with one another. He'd assumed the news of their bassist having a crush on you was nothing more than some rumor. He just couldn't believe it having met them.

Sure, not everyone knew you two were dating but surely Akito would've noticed that before. He just wanted to double check.

It's been weeks now, and he's sure. Hiroaki Miura, bassist pretty boy, has a fucking crush on you. It's so obvious he has no idea how he didn't pick up on it before. He has no idea how you haven't picked up on it either.

He'd mentioned it to you just last week, just to see. You laughed a bit, but asked if he wanted you to stop hanging out with him as much or if there was anything you could do - all while assuring you didn't think that was the case.

"If it makes you uncomfortable, I can put some distance between us. Miura-kun isn't interested in me at all, though - I don't think. We're just good friends, we went to school together."

Ultimately he said that wasn't necessary. Akito stares at the two of you together now and scoffs. Haah. Good friends because you went to school together? He's practically making googly eyes at you.

"Looks like they're coming over here," Toya mumbles. Akito closes his eyes and pretends to be asleep, eye twitching when he hears Toya exhale.

"Hey, guys - great show! The duets today were just so vocally smooth and—oh shit, is he asleep?"

He hears An laugh and forces himself not to react. "Yeah. He was exhausted after today."

"Oh, really? Some sleep will be good then." The affection in your voice is so obvious he temporarily forgets whats happening until another, much more annoying voice comes through.

"You guys going straight back to the tour bus tonight?"

"Yeah, probably." Toya confirms.

"Ah, okay cool. We," He pauses, and Akito can only assume he's gesturing to you "Are gonna go check out a manga pop-up that's open here a few blocks down."

"Just the two of you?" An asks, very obviously barely holding in a laugh.

"Oh no, Eta-san is coming with us."

"Y'know, I wanted to go alone with you," Miura says, and Akito really thinks about waking up and hitting him "But Eta really wanted to come so I couldn't say no."

"I like how honest you are with your feelings, Miura-kun. Very refreshing."

"I don't have anything to hide," He insists, and Akito feels his hand clench "It was just nice we ended up tour together. We haven't seen each other since highschool so I thought I should make the most of our time together."

"I don't remember you being so sentimental. I actually remember you bullying me more than anything."

"Hey, quit it! I wasn't bullying you, i-it just came out wrong. I'm not good with my words and all."

"I know," You say completely good-naturedly. Akito knows objectively you're being friendly and thinking nothing of it. He knows that this is nothing to be bothered over and that you've been nothing but loyal. But god he’s annoyed."You would make fun of me then turn around and lend me your stuff. After I figured out you weren't a bad guy I wasn't scared of you."

"You guys have quite the history," Toya comments. You laugh.

"Yeah, I guess so. We lost touch after I moved for my internship so it feels like a big coincidence! Always good to see old friends."

Before any more conversation happens, another staff member calls Miura for whatever reason - leaving you alone. Akito keeps his eyes closed, hearing Toya sigh for a second time.

"Should I tell Akito where you went?"

"Oh, would you? That'd be great, thanks. I figure he wouldn't want to come, or else I'd invite him and go together."

"Why do you think that?" Kohane asks.

"I'm not blaming him or anything! I just don't think he'd be very enthusiastic about it, that's all. I don't want to force him. Me and Miura-kun bond over this stuff, Eta-san too."

"I'm sure he'd be happy to get to spend time with you," Toya assures. He can't see you but he can hear the insecurity seeping through your voice and something in him starts to bend.

"I know, but you know. It's weird lately with tour and all. I think getting my mind off it would help."

"Oh, no." An sighs. Akito's chest tightens "You poor thing."

"Oh stop that, I'm fine! Getting some air will be nice though, you know? For both of us maybe. I did want to tell him myself though."

"It'll be fine, I'll make sure."

"Thanks, Aoyagi-kun.

"And just so you know, Akito-kun really loves you!"

"Of course. I have no reason to feel stuffy about it. Just makes me wonder if I should still be apart of the picture if that's part of his career, no? Dating would hinder that."

"Don't think like that." Toya interjects. You laugh but even Akito can hear how sad you sound. He had no idea you'd even been thinking that.

"I'll try just for you. Now all of you, stop moping over my silly dating problems okay? It was an amazing show today!! Cheer up and I'll see you guys later."

"Where are you going now?"

"Gonna wait backstage for Miura-kun."

"Have fun," Kohane says last. You laugh brightly and assure you will before your footsteps trail off and get lost in the music. When you're gone, Toya punches him in the shoulder - hard enough to hurt a little.

"Ow, what the fuck?"

"You're such a jackass," An says seriously, shaking her head.

"I told you that it was gonna be a problem that you acted like that when we're a duo," Toya reprimands seriously. Akito can't do much to counter it "You should talk to her properly."

"About what," Akito grumbles "It is part of the gig. It doesn't mean anything to me."

"Oh my god, you're so clueless!" An says, exasperated, startling him "It bothers you this much that she's talking to Miura-kun but she should just deal with it when random girls act like to you all the time?"

"An-chan, don't get too mad."

"If I don't no one will! Did you see how sad she looked! She was even trying to be all understanding. That's not fair to her at all."

"...I also understand Akito-kuns view. But if that's the case, then that doesn't mean that she needs to tolerate it, right?"

"What are you saying, Kohane-san?"

She shakes her head.

"I just mean she doesn't have to continue if it's hard for her. If it's not something you can change, then she shouldn't endure it forever, right?"

“What the hell? Are you saying we should break-up?”

“Maybe. If it can’t be resolved, then isn’t unfair to expect her to always endure it?”

“That’s a mature way of looking at, Kohane-san.” Toya comments. Akito shoots him a dirty look. Toya shrugs, unbothered.

“Her and Miura-kun are a good match. They have a good atmosphere and Miura-kun doesn’t care about things like that,”

Akito sits up in frustration, nearly grabbing Toya by the collar.

“Don’t fuck with me.”

“Think about whats best for her in the long run.”

Akito stands to his feet, glare hardened but Toya doesn’t budge at all. He doesn’t have to listen to this shit.

"This and that isn't the same. It's work to me, that's it."

"Everything that she and Miura-kun do is strictly platonic to her. She's not flirting with him, and it's not her fault if he has a crush on her. She even offered to stop seeing him if it made you uncomfortable."

Akito stays silent at that.

"But what about you? You just immediately dismissed it because it's part of her job and didn't even apologize to her later. You seriously think that's fair?"

He sighs at that, and shakes his head.

"I'm leaving."

Toya shakes his head once Akito is out of ear shot.

"So stubborn."

___

It’s close to midnight and you haven’t returned to the tour bus.

Akito knows its stupid to worry but knowing you were out with that goon all day is grating on his nerves. So he’s been waiting. Pacing around and smoking cigarettes, going in and out - he even texted you couple times to check in. You responded with pictures of your items, and selfies.

You had a long day, you drank a bit, you'd be back to the bus soon, you miss him. All in a row.

The longer the time goes on, the dumber Akito feels.

He leans on the bus as he waits on his phone, fingers growing cold. He hears you before he sees you, the sound of quiet giggling followed by a loud laugh. Akito's head snaps up almost immediately.

He hasn't seen you since the afternoon, but you changed. You're wearing your going-out outfit and it looks like you've put on some makeup too, smudged and worn. Eta is between you both as you carry her - Miura just has lovesick as when Akito saw him last. His stomach drops a little.

But the feeling is washed away when you brighten, eyes landing on him. You wave with a bag in your hand and Akito waves back. He waves to Miura too, if only to be polite.

"Akito-kun," Miura is the first talk as all three of you approach "What are you doing here?"

"There was some stuff about tomorrow set we needed to talk about," Akito says, gesturing to you. You blink owlishly.

"Just for you guys? Not FLASHBANG?"

Akito nods. You hum, then look over at Miura.

"Will you be okay taking Eta-san?"

Miura nods.

"Of course. I can't believe she drank so much in the first place, but I oughta to walk her back to our bus." Miura says as you off-load the weight on your shoulder "I'll see you again for tomorrow. Had a lot of fun today."

You giggle, clearly a little tipsy as you give Miura a thumbs-up. "Me too. See you tomorrow!"

Miura laughs a little before turning the corner, mumbling some light reprimanding to the drunk Eta before going on his way. Akito waits until both parties have disappeared - all the way out of ear shot before he looks at you with clear eyes.

If he's come to any conclusion it's this one - Akito doesn't want to break up with you.

He can't give up his career either, and maybe that's selfish. Maybe that's the whole problem. He can't pick. He thought about it, whether or not breaking up would be the right solution. He landed on maybe. Rationally he understands it. But it makes him angry just to think about it.

Akito stares at you as you hold your bag in comfortable silence and look at him. Wide, honest eyes - so dazzling he can hardly breathe. He reaches forward and cups your cheek in the palm of his hand, smoothing his thumb underneath your eye.

"You're back late," He murmurs, though it's not accusatory "What were you doing?"

"Well, a new store opened up at the mall in Tokushima, a bookstore that had a little pop-up for an anime Miura-kun likes. So we shopped around for a while, then stopped to see a movie, then went to an izakaya to drink a bit."

"Did you drink a lot?" He says, gentle as he holds you "You're gonna get a migraine."

"I had 2 mixed drinks. They had shochu in them but it wasn't very strong. Some water will sober me up." You pause inbetween your words, brows furrowing "What happened with the set list?"

"I was lying," Akito admits without thinking twice. You look surprised and he laughs "I just wanted us to be alone."

You tug on the lapel of his jacket weakly "I said I'd put some distance between us if it made you uncomfortable."

"It's not that," And it's true. Akito just really, really needed to be with you alone for a while "I was getting grilled earlier."

"From who?'

Akito rolls his eyes "Who else but Toya?"

You giggle.

"What was he grilling you about?"

"...You," Akito answers after some time "Us."

A beat of silence passes.

"Were you really thinking about breaking up?"

You look a little startled before looking away and something in him is crushed.

"Is that what he told you?"

"It's what it sounded like," Akito replies back. He reaches for your hand and squeezes it "Do you?"

"It's not that I want to,"

"Then what is it?"

'We're gonna go around in circles again," You say through a wet-laugh, like you're already gonna cry again. Akito fucked up bad. He brings your free hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles gently.

"We wont this time, swear."

"I know it's just work to you. It doesn't bother me all the time, either - like sometimes it doesn't bug me at all. But then, it's like, if I can't handle this much, maybe we should break up," You explain carefully and slowly, not trying to be too harsh at any point "I don't want to resent you or get in the way of your career, y'know. I know you're not gonna cheat on me. I'm a little insecure about it, but tough shit you know?"

"What do you mean?"

"It just...I dunno. It feels bad to watch you flirt with your fans, but if it's work for you than that makes it a me problem right?" You say thoughtfully, a sad but gentle look in your eyes "I don't know if I can handle that. So maybe, it's better to nip it in the bud now before things get serious."

"Aren't they serious already?"

"Yeah, but it's not like we're married. Or public. Like this, it's a normal break-up. It'll be awkward for a bit. But we get through it and things go back to how they were."

"It sounds like you don't take this seriously." Akito says, accusatory. You sigh and shake your head.

"That's not true at all. If you mattered to me in any less, it might be easier. Like if I loved you just a bit less, I could come up with a better solution," You hum. Akito believes it more than anything, that you love him. Even knowing doesn't make everything better "I love you and I know that your career is the most important thing to you. I would never want to make you choose."

"So what? You just cut yourself out of the equation so I don't have to?"

Where Akito expects you to disagree, you laugh and nod your head.

"Yeah. At least we'd be on good terms that way."

Akito stares at you in disbelief. He's partially angry, and partially devastated. He knows what you're saying, and it makes sense rationally. Logically at least. It's a problem with no good outcomes, like if there's already a stalemate - whose to say things will get better. It's in character for you to think like that. Where Akito is hard-headed and passionate, you're calm and analytical. To overthink to such an extent, to think so seriously about your futures. Both Akito's future and yours.

But it's not what he wants. His career is important, of course it is. What he's built is important. But does that mean he has to give up on you?

When Akito reflects on it, he doesn't think your original ask was that hard to fulfill. It hurts the worst to know that. Had he heard you out properly the first time, thought about it a little more - it'd be clear that it's nothing that serious.

Nothing worth making you worry over. Nothing worth making you question your entire relationship over.

But he didn't do that the first time, and now he's stuck listening to you think of all the ways things could go worse from here. It's his fault, really, for not thinking about it. He's always been this way about his career.

"You've been thinking about this a lot." He says first, almost paralyzed. You laugh humorlessly.

"I was going to wait until tour was over to talk about it."

"...Cause you were worried about how I'd perform."

"You're an important part of my salary," You joke, trying to lighten the mood.

"...Man this feels like shit,"

"Sorry."

"No, not it's not that. It's not your fault."

"It's not yours either."

"But it is," He says, exasperated with himself "If I would've just fucking... heard you out a few months ago. You wouldn't have been thinking about all this. If I had just done something then,"

"I don't see it like that, Akito."

"I know but it doesn't matter, cause it's my fucking fault anyway." He looks at you seriously. Shit, he almost wants to cry. "I don't want to break-up with you. I'm really sorry."

"A-akito?"

"I'll stop flirting with the girls who come to meet us. And I'll announce our relationship after I talk with the managers a bit,"

"A-akito, you really don't have to—"

"My career, music, everything we've built so far is important to me," Akito looks at you seriously, hoping it all comes out right. That everything comes through the way he intends "But shit, so are you. You're not...less important to me than any of that."

You stay silent, like you're in disbelief.

"Really?"

"Fuck—god, yes of course. I'm sorry. I really screwed up this time. I don't want to break up. I want to be with you, for a long time. Longer than this."

"I'm gonna cry." You say with a warbly laugh.

"Don't cry," Akito mumbles, pulling you into his arms. He hears you sniffle as he tucks your face against his chest, his arms around you tightly as he comforts you "I'm sorry for being an idiot. I love you,"

He presses a kiss to your head, looking at your tear-stained face with a sigh. He leans forward, knocking your foreheads together before littering kisses along your cheeks and face until you laugh again. He finds himself smiling too, before another somber wave of emotion washes over him.

"I'm sorry for being a shithead," He says with a sigh "An called me a jackass and I can't believe I have to agree with her."

You laugh "I don't think you're a jackass."

"You totally should though," Akito says back "I was pissed off the whole day."

"Really? Why?"

"Why do you think?

You look genuinely confused for a minute before something seems to click.

"Was it because of Miura-kun?"

"Yeah. Fucking walking around so lovey-dovey, making googly eyes at you."

You smile impishly "He confessed to me earlier today."

Akito stiffens immediately.

"What?!"

"Yeah. We were in an alley and waiting for Eta-san and he just... told me outright."

"...And then what?"

You roll your eyes "Of course I accepted and now we live together, happy ever after." Your sarcasm bleeds through your words as you flick Akito's forehead "Obviously I rejected him gently and said I was seeing someone."

"And then?"

"And then he asked who, and I said and then he was silent for a while before tearing up a little." You reply thoughtful, fond smile on your face "He said he wishes he did it in highschool and I comforted him for a bit. Guy cheered up really fast,"

"Seriously?"

"Congrats on being right," You lean into Akito, wrapping your arms around his waist "He bounced back after a drink or two and it hasn't been awkward at all. He can't hide his feelings for shit so I'm sure he's fine."

"Seriously? It's over just like that?"

"He's a positive guy and he doesn't dwell on things. Kind of dopey you know? Pure-hearted to a fault, the only thing he's really smart at is music and sports."

"So he's over it? There's no way."

"I wouldn't say he's over it," You say thoughtfully "More that he just accepts things as they are. I'm not into him so that's that. But we're still friends, and that won't change any time soon. I hope that's okay."

Akito widens his eyes.

"I mean, yeah it's fine - I guess I feel better about this way but. I mean, shit."

"I thought you'd be celebrating a little more."

Akito scoffs.

"He's still gonna make those stupid heart eyes at you, just not in front of me."

"He does not do anything of the sort!"

"Oh yes he definitely does. Ask Toya if you don't trust me."

"Maybe I will." You reply, sticking your tongue out.

"Ask him when we get to our bus."

"...Is that okay? Did you ask your manager?"

He laughs again, holding you close a second time. He tilts your chin up towards him, placing a kiss on your lips.

"Don't care," He says brazenly "I need you with me tonight."

"That sounds dirty, Akito."

"Oh, it is baby," He teases, turning his voice low "Try not to be too noisy. Kohane-sans a light sleeper."

#akito shinonome x reader #akito x reader #project sekai x reader #pjsekai x reader #writing tag

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bartxnhood · 2 years ago

Text

lost in reality | s.h

shawn hunter x fem!reader

summary: lost in his cloud of doubt, shawn thinks you don’t like him. however, when you come to his doorstep one night changes everything.

warnings: none, this one is just pretty short and not that well written lol

requests open

not proofread

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“she likes you man, it’s so obvious!” cory is watching his best friend, shawn, pace around the living room. “you’ve seen the way she’s with eric! there’s no way she likes me.”

shawn remembers you interacting with eric. he feels his chest swell with jealousy, the way you touched his arm while you laughed, or the way you pushed your hair away from your face.

he was so frustrated with his own emotions. shawn had loved you for years, he was so madly in love with you that it hurt him.

“think about it” cory starts, pushing himself off the island and walking over to his friend. “she always gets shy around you, she can’t look at you more than a few seconds, or else she starts blushing like…” he tried thinking of a comparison. “well i.. i don’t know what but still!”

shawn finally stopped pacing to look at cory, trying to think back to all the times you had done this. but, still, he wasn’t convinced. “i don’t know man..”

“i’ve been seeing angela, she’s really cool and i like her but..” shawn shrugs, “she isn’t y/n.” cory sighs, crossing his arms. “well at least you could talk to her. figure out what’s going on.”

the following week you spot shawn at the cafeteria and you planned on stopping him in hopes to talk with him. “shawn!” you wave your hand and he walks over. “what’s up?” he offers a smile, standing above you. “i was just wondering if you had time to talk for a sec?” he nodded, “of course, what’s up?”

“well.. you start, it’s kinda about us..” you were about to continue when angela walks up, lacing her arm around his. “shawn!” she grins, “we still good for our date this weekend?” she asks, he smiles fondly and nods, “yeah, of course!” angela grins and kisses his cheek softly before walking away.

shawn turns back to you, his eyebrows raise, “what’s up?” you feel a knot in your stomach and shake your head gathering your things. “nothing.. not important. i’ll see you later.” you say, and stand up and walk away, leaving shawn puzzled.

you’re sat on topangas bed, rambling about how frustrated you are with his shawn had been acting as of late. “it’s killing me!l you plop back onto your back with a loud sigh.

“it’s like..he doesn’t even notice me..” you’re visibly upset and topanga doesn’t know how to comfort you. “maybe he’s just going through something.” she says and you disagree. “no..i know when somethings wrong. i’m his best friend, i know him. but lately, he’s been so different.”

you both fall silent, you’re stuck thinking about how you could fix them. “i have to see him” you say, abruptly getting up from topangas bed and reaching for your jacket, “y/n! it’s pouring out there!” she tries stopping you, concerned for your wellbeing. “topanga, i have to tell him. i can’t just stand by watching him fall in love with someone else.” you turn to your best friend, tears brimming in your eyes. topanga understands, knowing if it was cory she’d be running out in the rain like that.

“please, just be safe.” she nods, giving you a look of sympathy.

“y/n? you okay?! it’s pouring!” shawn opens the door and drags you inside from the rain.

“i love you.” you blurted, fidgeting with your hands. “oh..oh my god..that just…” your hands are shaking and your chest is tight while looking at shawn. “i love you,” you repeat and watch as shawn stands up from the stool and you see the confusion on his face.

“im so in love with you. it’s like i can’t stop thinking about you. you’re like..in me..” you laugh, trying to hold back your tears. “like you’re some kind of disease. i can’t think of anything except you.” now you’re tearing up. “i…i can’t sleep, i can’t eat…” you pause, “i can’t breathe..” your voice is breaking, and you feel the tears on your cheeks. “i just love you all the time… i love you, shawn”

this had been building up in you for so long, and you had to get it out and it felt so much better to just say it.

“you don’t have to say anything or love me back. i just needed to tell you..” you wipe away the tears from your cheeks and start to turn around but shawn grabs your arm, spinning you around to face him.

his touch is so soft against your skin, the way his thumb caressed your cheek made you melt. his eyes were soft, “y/n..” he starts, his voice is soft like honey. you could listen to him speak for hours, his voice could lull you to sleep. “i love you too. i have loved you for years. all i can ever think about is you and how badly my heart aches for you.” he smiles, tears begin welling in his eyes. "this-" he points at his chest "—this belongs to you. always."

you replay his confession over and over, feeling your heart swell with love. shawn is resting on your chest while some random movie is playing on the tv. it was something he had gotten from the movie store. you had thought he had fallen asleep long ago but when he spoke it startled you.

“why do you love me?”

you blink a few times, wondering where this came from. “what?” he sets up, “why do you love me? i..i have nothing to offer you, y/n. i..i don’t have a fancy house or..or anything. why?”

you look at him, mind racing as you try to collect the right words, “i love you because you care, you’re funny, you take time to learn about people, and even though you may get on my nerves” you pause and laugh, your hand rests on his cheek. the pad of your thumb rubs against his cheekbone.

“i love you. i’ve loved you for so long, shawn.” you smile and watched as shawn pulls you into his arms, letting you rest against him. “god, i love you too. y/n.”

#shawn hunter #shawn hunter x reader #shawn hunter x you #shawn hunter x y/n #shawn hunter fanfic #shawn hunter imagine #shawn hunter boy meets world #bmw fanfic

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inchidentally · 1 year ago

Note

https://www(.)autosport(.)com/f1/news/stella-singles-out-exceptional-japan-f1-podium-as-piastris-2023-highlight-/10559510/

I think you've posted about Andrea Stella's relationships with Lando and Oscar before and I've been thinking about this and just needed to share my thoughts with someone.

when Oscar talks about his best weekends, its always Qatar where he felt like he really maximized his result and SIlverstone which he talks about as one of his most complete performances despite missing that podium.

When it comes to Japan and his first podium, it's like he's happy with the result and what that meant for the team, but it's not actually a weekend he reflects on super positively in terms of his race. I feel like he's never the one bringing it up, it's always like a reporter being like "and Japan?" and he's just like "yeah I guess that was nice too", but he doesn't really talk about it as a personal highlight (even though I'm sure he isn't like... upset over it, just not a performace he rates as his strongest).

all that to say I love that Andrea actually picks out his qualifying performace there as a highlight of his season, because it was! it just feels really subtlely supportive of him to bring up a moment that Oscar doesn't really talk about himself, and kind of got lost in all the comparisons or race pace between him and Lando.

idk i just needed to tell someone this lol

oh anon and I am so glad you shared it with me bc I wanna go offfff

truly this quote is the kind of thing I could see making Oscar feel emotional about and puff up with pride. it's the sort of meticulous score card that his big brained A-levels overachieving ass must eat up with a spoon:

"In terms of speed, in terms of capacity to learn very rapidly, in terms of collaborating with his engineers and extracting the information that he needs to grow so rapidly, in terms of his own awareness of where he is in the various stages to go from: ‘I know nothing about this track, first time in a Formula 1 car' to being P2 on the grid. And also the way he keeps himself calm, controlled – therefore always capitalising on his potential because he doesn’t create any unnecessary stress - that’s quite exceptional. And I can see why he was so successful in junior categories."

and god, the stern but loving dad role Andrea has taken with Lando and Oscar. especially when you think from Oscar's perspective how he was coming into a team fresh off of a dramatic court case and filling a seat that everyone - including Lando - was still deep in mourning over. from what I remember Oscar's "promo" by McLaren was more like something they'd do to announce a new reserve driver rather than Lando's new teammate. especially considering the weeks of emotionally overwrought posts and content about Daniel leaving. I'm guessing a lot of that had to do with trying to mitigate the comment sections turning rancid on any Oscar content (and I'm being generous saying that). but there was exceptionally low fanfare attending Oscar's arrival, especially considering him having such a scorching record coming up to F1.

so for someone like Andrea to come into his new role and choose to watch Oscar so closely when Oscar was honestly sort of - either ignored or still hated bc of Daniel and Alpine - during those races before Silverstone has come good in the huge revolution of public opinion about Oscar. Lando was already comfortably at home and only needed a little managing. side note I love how many times in challenges Lando would pretend to pout and say "Andrea said there has to be balance and fairness between teammates sooooo" akgfkasgs he had Lando's number already <3

but for all that Oscar has been a trooper about having to kind of operate without the kind of consistent found family that Lando has and dealt with the press and DTS dutch angle drama interviews in such a mature way idk. I feel like sometimes Oscar sees himself as only existing as one of the drivers once he's actually in the car. he's never found that footing of becoming one of the F1 personalities the way that even Logan has (thank you Williams and thank you Alex).

a lot of the time you could confuse Oscar's presence in the garage and the paddock with another engineer. and tbh when you consider how much of an online meme he was in F2 and F3 and how strong his twitter game was it definitely feels like he's intentionally suppressing his personality to maybe ? just get through his rookie F1 season with as little drama as possible. I've gone on and on and on abt how Prema Oscar would have made the perfect fan favorite dynamic with Lando the same way he was with Arthur or Robert. but Oscar's personality has only come out on camera a few times and otherwise he just watches Lando or stiffly gets through his own parts.

that's why I had to compile these instances of Andrea seeking Oscar out and being so incredibly tender with him. Lando is the always beloved child at McLaren and he absolutely earned that. but he was also definitely thrown by Oscar choosing to go so quiet and under the radar - I don't think in a bad way, but I will be interested to see the clips from DTS that haven't been chopped to hell so we can get a better glimpse of that.

but someone in higher authority than Lando needed to go out of their way to regularly remind Oscar that yes, he's One of The Big Boys and yes, McLaren is his home now. he has as much right as the rest of the drivers all feel to stand up and ask for what they want and speak for themselves and even cause a little trouble if they feel they need to. an F1 grid are always drama queens to some degree because they're basically the lead singers of a band. they had to as Lando rightly said "be fairly selfish" to get to their rarefied position. not that they're bad people at all, just that they have to treat themselves as of utmost importance in order to achieve the performance and mentality to even get a shot at F1. but not only is Oscar not naturally like that (his forms of self-care involve sleep and seeing friends lol) he certainly wasn't going to stir things up anymore than he already had.

but! what Oscar does have is incredible courage, unflappable calm and towering competitiveness. like I said once he gets in the car his focused self-belief overtakes everything else. the amount of times his rookie season it was down solely to the car or to other drivers that resulted in taking him out of a race or knocking him down the grid as opposed to pure rookie error or personal mistakes is amazing. and guess who said that back in August:

"For us being in this journey with Oscar, it makes it even more exciting, because it was very clear right from the start – the level of talent.

“Even the analytical behaviour, looking at things, trying to learn, and at the same time always remaining very calm. He is able to absorb things, execute things, always staying very calm, which I think is a strong point of Oscar.”

and guess who gives us some of the best insights to the kind of driver Oscar is when no one else can? (apart from sexy daddy Mark ofc)

“I think the quality which, if you want, maybe one of the key enablers [of] why he can grow so rapidly is just the man beyond the driver,” Stella told GP Blog. “He’s so calm. He’s so good at keeping himself in a status in which he can use the best of his talent.

“I don’t have that quality, I have to think very actively about ‘What am I thinking? What are my emotions?’ I have to think about my psychology to actively keep myself in the most productive state. For Oscar, this seems to come quite naturally. That’s the main enabler.

“I think he, potentially, has a natural gift. Or, maybe he worked throughout his young career through that. I don’t know. But, certainly, he’s remarkable. And even when I’ve seen great drivers currently or in the past, all of them sort of sometimes underperformed because they don’t stay in the status in which they give their best. I think, for Oscar, this is quite natural.”

oh and guess who also tells us the most about the fact that Lando has taken his role as established driver and leader seriously wrt Oscar and how well they've complemented each other?

“So Lando can say ‘ok, we can do this in this corner’, and so on. And likewise, obviously, for Oscar with Lando. The second element, which is remarkable this year, is how similar the comments are between the two drivers.

“And this is not only in the off-line debriefings, but it's also when the drivers come back after they run the first run during a session. They actually use the same terminology, like it looks like they are in communication before reporting their feedback.”

papa is giving his boys their props!! they did him proud and he's not going to hold back on telling the world!

and I even love how Lando and Oscar both choose Silverstone without any hesitation as their favorite race of 2023 and that Lando said how much Oscar deserved to be up there with him. that's exactly what Andrea had instilled in them and shows his values have fully sunk in.

you're absolutely right anon, we should never forget that Andrea is the one who went to Oscar when Oscar needed it and that Andrea established the team culture that has let someone like Oscar thrive at the same time as someone so different from him like Lando.

articles sourced:

#inchreplies #inchidentallyanessay #oscar piastri #andrea stella

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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 1 year ago

Note

could i request some chris pontius or steveo x shy reader? where maybe it's her first day on set and she like works in makeup and he's just flirting w her making a blushing mess lol tysm

Cat and Mouse

Y/N gets her first real job and gets caught up in a romance she could have never imagined!

Steve-O X Fem!Reader

(Fluff)

2.8k Words

Warnings: Suggestive content, slowburn, flirting, teasing, crude language, drinking, accidental injuries, praise, stalkerish behavior from Y/N if you squint

An: Thank you so much for the request!! Finals hav been kicking my ass lately but I somehow managed to crank this one out XD There’s something about the dynamic of this fic that just enchanted me and I would be more than happy to write this kind of fic for some of the other guys! I’d especially love to see what would play out with Johnny, but maybe that’s a little self indulgent X) Anyways, as always, my requests are open and I’m still accepting fic requests for my 100 follower special, so keep sending them in!! I have a few good ones of my own coming down the pipeline so keep your eye out! ;)

It was your first day on set, so it was understandable that you were nervous as you walked into the trailer on the Paramount lot, your makeup kit in tow. All you were told when you first got the job was where you would report to and that you would be working on a movie set- that’s it. Kinda sketchy but hey, maybe it’s a privacy thing. It was just you in the makeup trailer as you collected yourself, taking a deep breath as you flipped the bright white vanity lights on and started to set up your gear on the counter.

You were so immersed with arranging brushes and products that you didn’t even hear the trailer door open as your client walked in, only being alerted to his presence as you felt the foldy director’s chair he was sitting in shift a little as he took a seat. Holy shit. Speechless, you blinked a few times, trying to register who you were looking at- not that you didn’t know him, it’s just this was too good to not be some dream. “Are- are you Steve- O?” He chuckled, flashing you that boyish smile as he sat back in his chair, “In the flesh, baby.”

It was about then when you realized that maybe you were leaning a little too close to him- your boobs were practically squished against the back of his head. He didn’t seem to be that bothered by it, not looking upset in the slightest as you stepped away, blushing. It would be impossible to deny that you’d had a crush on Steve ever since you saw him on TV, back when he was swallowing goldfish for a living, and this first impression wasn't helping the feelings that stirred inside of you.

Trying to distract yourself, you grabbed a shade of concealer that looked like it matched his skin tone to cover up the blotchy mauve shiner that covered nearly a quarter of his face- a product of a movie star lifestyle you could only dream of. “Hey, don’t worry about it.” Steve gestured to the glaring mark with a finger, his voice low, “Kinda wanna keep it there. Looks pretty rad, y’know?” You nodded, the only response your body could give, your eyes wide. He seemed so cool, so calm in comparison to his usual obnoxious stunt dude behavior.

And so you continued with what you were being paid to do, trying your damnedest to stay professional. This was hard, especially when you needed to lean in towards him, maybe four inches away from Steve’s face, tilting his chin up with your left hand to get the angle you needed to look at something or other. Of course, he wasn’t making it easy for you with how he kept catching your gaze the whole time with those sweet eyes of his. Part of you was a little pissed off- what gives him the right to do this? To make you all flustered with nothing but a look- but another part of you was maybe a little too excited at all of this.

A few minutes in the same room as him and you were already wrapped around his finger. Hell, you weren't in the slightest turned off when you caught him stealing glances down your shirt when he thought you weren’t paying attention. Weirdly, you found that kind of endearing, maybe even attractive. Those five minutes in the makeup trailer felt like an eternity and you breathed a sigh of relief as you stood up after you finished your job. Turning around, you went to zip up your case when you heard something behind you, “Hey, what’s your name, makeup lady?” Your heart jumped a little when he spoke up, his raspy voice barely above a whisper. You whipped around, nearly nose to nose with Steve as you avoided looking at him as much as you could, concealing your pink face, “My name’s Y/N.”

You couldn’t see it, but there was a little glint in Steve’s eye when he realized just how much he was affecting you. “Well,” His voice took on a slightly different tone, “I guess I’ll be seeing you around, Y/N.” And just like that, he was gone out the trailer door that he didn’t bother to close on his way out.

And you wished it ended there- that you could just be left alone with your silly schoolgirl crush on the cool movie star, but of course it didn’t. It couldn’t. Of all places, it happened in the white food tent around lunch time. You were going down the line of fold up tables, picking through what the catering services had brought in those silver aluminum pans- chicken, some vedgie thing, and some crinkle fries- when you heard someone call to you from a ways back, “Hey, makeup lady!” Assuming it was some production supervisor (they never seemed to respect you), you rolled your eyes, not even looking back as you replied, “I have a name, you know.”

“Oh yeah! Shit, what was it…Y/N!” Your heart sank when you realized who it was as they slipped in next to you in line. Steve seemed totally unphased, still as friendly as he was before but with a suggestive tone in his voice that made you shiver, “So, how’s your first day goin’? Everyone nice?” He didn’t take anything from the trays as he moved along, seemingly only there to talk to you, “If not, I’ll totally kick their ass.” You hoped Steve didn’t notice how much your hands were shaking as you nodded and smiled, hiding the warmth on your cheeks as you speed walked away with half a plate of food.

He wore that smug ass look on his face with pride as he sat down at the table with the guys like he just won the Super Bowl. Understandably, they were a little confused at his bravado. Johnny wasn't impressed, “What the hell was that?” Steve just grinned as he took a sip of his beer, shooting a glance over to where you were sitting with your back turned to not look conspicuous, “That chick’s in love with me. Watch.” Steve turned his head back and just as he did, you whipped around almost on command to try and catch a glimpse of him with that needy look in your eyes like a lost puppy. Unbelievable. Of course, all the guys besides Steve immediately turned towards you and made eye contact. Faced with this, you were a deer in the headlights, and quickly returned to your food.

Bam chuckled, a sly grin spreading across his lips, “Dude, if she’s got the hots for you that bad, you gotta get that ass!” He spoke as if he was some experienced playboy, but he had no clue. It’s not just about sex- there was a lot more to whatever it was that was going on between Steve and the makeup girl. When broken down, the two of you really wanted the exact same thing, the only difference was that she was too shy to admit it and he wasn’t. It evolved into a hunt- a cat and mouse game. This was more than getting ass. “Whatever, Bam.” Steve rolled his eyes. Ryan leaned to one side to get a better look at you, “Oh yeah- you gotta tap that.” Johnny cracked up at his bluntness and Pontius simply shoveled a bite of food into his mouth, flipping Steve a thumbs up.

You knew it was in violation of your contract but something you weren't proud of inside you compelled you to do it. On the lazy afternoons you weren't doing makeup but you were still on the clock, you found yourself snooping around the set in hope of getting a glimpse of Steve. It wasn't a tall order to blend in with the nameless PAs and set people, so you mostly went unnoticed, ducking behind corners and slipping into empty dressing rooms. Every time you saw Steve chatting with the guys with a beer in hand, or in the middle of a stunt if you were lucky, you had to hold yourself back from giggling like a teenage girl. However, it wasn't always that easy to get your fix.

This routine went on without any hiccups for about a week before a problem was presented. Filming was outside for a stunt involving the Three 6 Mafia, but the dense summer heat was pushed completely out of your mind as you peeked out from behind a white trailer. There, in front of all the cameras, was Dave, Bam, and Steve, filming some bit where Dave eats horse shit. All vomiting aside, the only thing you could see was how cute Steve looked in the little farmer’s outfit that the costume department whipped up. Sweat glistened on his skin under the midday sun as he took off his straw hat, using it to fan himself. It’s rare for a guy to be able to pull off the overalls no shirt look, but he certainly could. Damn.

But just as you were thinking about how you wouldnt mind shucking his corn, you accidentally made eye contact with Bam. Oh shit. There wasn't a way in hell that he didn’t see you. You hadn’t even noticed that you were steadily creeping out from your hiding place until you were far from the safety of the trailer wall, so, acting on prey animal instincts, you ducked behind the nearest object.

“Hmm?” It was only then that you noticed what you ducked behind was a man- Ryan, to be specific. God, if this could get any worse. Drink in hand, he just raised an eyebrow, looking down at the strange scene- you, crouching behind his foldy chair, “Makeup lady?” Oh, you were screwed. You could feel your fingers go numb as you panicked, your fight or flight instincts kicking in as you skirted away, your heart beating out of your chest. Ryan shrugged, taking a sip of his beer.

It was embarrassing how flustered you got around Steve but you just couldn’t help it. You had a lot of time to mull over it before you came into work the next day and it was apparent; something had to happen or else you were sure you would spontaneously combust. The tension was killing you, but there was no way he’d pay you any mind. Immagine a celebrity like him dating- hell, going on a date- with some makeup artist he met on set. Be reasonable, you thought, cleaning off your brushes idly.

Steve strutted into the makeup trailer, cool as ever, “Hey! How’s my favorite girl doin’?” Your knees felt a little weak under you at his words, holding yourself up with one hand on the back of the chair as he sat down. His favorite. No, no, he didn’t mean it like that. No way he would. “I’m, uh- I’m good, yeah.” You hardly noticed the smirk on his lips as you hurried to distract yourself, busying your hands with your brushes to still their nervous shaking. This was not what you needed this early in the morning.

Suddenly, time froze as you heard the hard thwack of your elbow against the side of Steve’s face. Your jaw fell and you stumbled over your words, hurriedly apologizing at your absentmindedness, “O-oh my god! I am so sorry- I can’t believe-“ He was still a little stunned, the mark on his face reddening, when you realized that you had instinctively reached out, gently touching the soreness on his perfect cheekbone out of concern without realizing what you were doing. It was like lightning shot through your fingertips, traveling up your arm, and your face said it all. Steve just smiled that cute, boyish smile, making eye contact for just a second longer than a person normally would, “Hey, it’s cool. I don’t mind.” You felt the tips of your ears get hot as he winked at you, “But hell, you of all people know how’t touch it up.”

Taking a deep breath, you pushed down all your nerves as you cleared your throat and tried to sound confident as you grabbed something to cover up your blunder, “I really liked your performance yesterday.” It was a vain attempt at small talk, sure, but it was something. He looked up at you, “Oh, did you?” There was a funny tone in Steve’s voice- sweet and kinda teasing- that gave you butterflies in your stomach and made you wonder if you were really as sneaky as you thought you were being, “What part did’y like? The puking or me shovin’ stuff in my ass?”

God, how he laughed when Steve saw how embarrassed you got. Stuttering a bit, you tried to come up with an explanation, but he just waved you off, “Ah, I’m just fuckin’ with ya. But I mean, if you wanna watch sometime,” The euphemism wasn't lost on you and he could practically see the thoughts running through your head as he continued, “I could bring you to check out the set sometime.” All you could do was nod. Oh, he knew. And the worst part was he didn’t care.

Steve chuckled as you practically led him around the set. It was like you knew the place because, well, you did, but he pretended not to know about your little stalker activities. While you were busy, Jeff came up and tapped him on the shoulder, “Hey, dude. Rick needs you- something about that rake jump stunt.” And when you looked back from ogling some camera equipment, Steve was gone.

But from across the set, you met eyes with Chris who smiled at you with that dopey grin you’d seen so many times on tv. One week in and you were still getting starstruck. He walked over to you, striking up a conversation, “Hey, Y/N! You know what I heard?” Chris leaned in towards you like he was gonna tell you a secret, shooting a nod towards Steve as he was walking away, “I heard he’s awesome in bed. I mean, that’s what I’ve heard from the ladies.” You could tell that Chris saw this as a perfectly normal conversation topic, but you still got a little flustered, “O-oh, he is?” Chris nodded.

Sitting on camping chairs under one of those fold out tents you see at barbecues, Johnny and Bam watched from afar, cracking open cans of Miller High Life. Bam turned his head to one side like a dog, peering around Chris’ shoulder, “Looks like Pontius is tryin’t steal Steve’s girl.” Johnny chuckled, bringing his can to his lips, “Once he gets his claws in her there’s no way he’ll get her back. We oughta’ go interviene.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a blur of two men who you recognized as Johnny and Bam. Chris waved, “Oh, hey guys! We were just talking about how great Steve is in bed!” He gave Bam a nod, “Isn’t that right?” His eyes went wide for a second before he caught on, “Oh, yeah! He’s, uh- he’s great.” Johnny quirked an eyebrow from behind his sunglasses, “Have you slept with him, Bam?” It was like a Three Stooges bit as Bam rushed to cover his ass, putting his hands up, “No- no! I mean, I heard that he was good.”

“I mean, I’d get it from Chris, but I never expect that from you.” Ignoring Johnny’s teasing, he reached out a hand to you at the perfect time to formally introduce himself, “Hey, I’m Bam. I really like girls.” Eyes wide at all the action that was suddenly happening around you, you just nodded. You couldn’t decide if this was him hitting on you or not when you felt a protective hand on your shoulder as someone spoke from behind you, “Okay, guys. Get lost.” Jumping a little, you turned around and might as well have leapt ten feet off the ground. It was Steve. All the guys joked and dispersed as he spun you around, turning you to face him and that smile that always got to you, “They didn’t say anything bad about me, did they?” You fiddled with one of your nails, looking anywhere but his face as you joked back to try and ease the tension, “Oh, on the contrary!”

Steve smiled, leaning a little bit closer to you as the low tone of his voice slipped into nearly a whisper, “I’m gonna be honest with ya, Y/N. I really like ya.” The way that he could just go out there and say that with such confidence made you break a sweat, and you were practically glued to the ground you stood on as he nearly whispered into your ear, “Let’s get drinks sometime, yeah?” All you could do was nod in response.

#jackass #bam margera #johnny knoxville #ryan dunn #chris pontius #steve o #jackass fanfiction #jackass fanfic #fluff #jackass x reader #steve o x reader #I used to be INCREDIBLY shy irl so Y/N’s behavior is partially based off of me! hehe

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