#he's still doing this shit at 50
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Random Unaffiliated Headcanon #1:
There are a handful of doctors and health care professionals who've figured out Batman's identity because at one point or another Bruce Wayne showed up in the middle of a seminar or took an online course they taught.
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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manifested shit so hard (IGNORE THE FUGLY FLASH I HAVE THEM IN PHOTOCARD HOLDERS) (the box i got was elita aswell omfg)
"Elita is a dilligent worker and a leader who always gets the job done, no matter the odds. She always puts dedication to her job first. Elita is proud to have overcome difficult challenges with her peers and come out on top." - google translate idk if it's accurate
#i dont believe in manifestation but I jsut might have too I have other stuff in lucky draws desperately need#WHEN I TELL YOU I FUCKING SCREECHED. I screeched so loud people came running#I HAVE 50 I WANT TO POST THEM ALL BUT I'M STILL FUCKING SICK#YEAH STILL. CUSTOMER COMPLAINTS ISN'T WORKING DO I COMPLAIN ON HERE MORE i hate being sick#but i couldn't wait any longer to share that i got elita i got these a few days ago#I got 2 WHEELJACKS LIKE OH MY GOD#AND THE ENTIRE(??) MEGATRON SET (i have 3) (does he have 3 cards i think he might) (shit it might be more)#elita one#transformers#elita 1#transformers one#tf one#tf one elita#tf one trading cards#If you told me beginning of the year I would be using to kpop photocard collector shit to protect tfone pcs i wouldn't believe you
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Crazy wild shit man
#how are we straight up accepting the emmrich romance lich choice for how it’s written#does anyone feel me#hello???#no one else can see the inherent tragedy in this?#maybe I’m too mort ass pilled but um. trading away your life to escape death is no life at all#and why can’t rook be like. you killed yourself and took yourself away from me and now you have no skin for me to caress and no warmth for#me to share and though it’s still your consciousness you’ve a) gained a perspective I can never ever share and b) you have accepted#outliving me so thoroughly that I will be just a drop in the bucket of your life even if I get another good 50 years out of life.#why can’t I ask him is all this worth it without your heart????!??#why can’t I break it off?!!!???#why do I HAVE to celebrate this choice#emmrich volkarin#dav spoilers#and that’s not even getting into the philosophical questions surrounding fear and what it means to live like.#emmrich… has ocd. and I have no doubt that those fears are truly debilitating (despite this almost never coming up in the narrative)#and essentially this choice is one about how to deal with it. acceptance vs avoidance. and we see no consequences for either!!!#if he chooses to accept this fear as a part of him and work through it WE SHOULD SEE THAT WORK#he should struggle!! and that struggle should lead him towards making peace with that fear#AND!!#if he chooses to escape from that fear— to actively avoid ever resolving it— we should see him struggle with that too!!!!#molding your entire existence around this fear to the point you embody it… where are the emotional consequences for that!?#WHY DO I— AS SOMEONE WHO SUPPOSEDLY LOVES HIM— NOT GET ANY OPPORTUNITY TO PUSH BACK OR ASK SOME TOUGH QUESTIONS?!?#in a game about the tyranny of immortality… we can send our beloved to kill his mortal self to come back as an immortal husk.#and we’re not even allowed to be sad abt it the very next scene is some goofy cartoon shit at the lighthouse where every single person just#immediately accepts this reality and has no issues. not even taash 😭
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Source (https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/keanu-reeves-joins-sonic-3-shadow-1235874487/)
#i.... dont know how to feel#ive only known keanu from john wick...? idk i didnt watch the full movie. i was on a plane when i watched it#i feel like. keanu is too old for shadow#lets not forget that shadow is still a teen. he was just frozen in ice for 50 years or something#idk i cant imagine it. ill have to hear a voice teaser or smth#idk maybe... stop hiring celebs to do voice acting shit#etc
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Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay
#you are a straight man correct? Yes. Attracted to someone you view as a woman correct? Yes... But you are afraid that makes you gay?#Afraid is a strong word but also stop asking stupid questions#The end result is I tend to date a lot of men who either then realize they are women or bi or gay and I am there when they are taking out#the messiest parts of that on whoever they are with at the time#and on one hand it means I created a space that made them feel safe enough to self examine#but on the other hand I'm their last stop when the fallout hits#OR they just realize they find the expectations put on them for masculinity to be really oppressive even negligent or abusive#I would say I need to adjust my strategy and stop trying to 'woo' men the same way I don't actually -flirt- with women#but I have already solved this problem by refusing to date ever again#The retrospective is funny though#The problem is I am attracted to men in a gay way and to women in a gay way but no one tells you the consequence of that and looking#like a pretty butch is that it really confuses the straight guys#Like why is this guy who's usually hmmm... as dom and masc as you would imagine suddenly in my lap and red and having entire feelings#about the way I am holding his hip? He doesn't knoww either and he's really pressed about it#And that thing messy lesbians do where they act jealous of you and also like they want to fuck you at the same time that looks like a red#flag from hell? Imagine dragging that out of unsuspecting straight guys -menTM-#They don't know why they are acting like that around me either but it's going to go one of two ways#either it will seem overtly threatening and aggressive to everyone involved including themselves or they'll have enough social sense#and tact to be playful about it but still not be sure if they are flirting or whether they like me at all#I have patience for one of those and unfortunately[?] it's the guy who's in my lap looks like he's being tortured and can't find his footin#not the guy telling me how much he's going to beat my ass at some game and I am going to like it or some macho bullshit#And I will be oblivious for the first 50% of it#because if there are gods they are cruel#He never realized he's actually the little spoon be nice and give him a minute#He can't tell me he likes me if he doesn't know he likes me but I opened a jar for him and asked him about his feelings and now he's warm#I actually ended up never dating many women at all because of weird lesbian mixed signals and things#At least not while they were women#I don't flirt or make friends I just decide that people are mine and start taking care of them [while respecting their autonomy and shit]#and I am starting to think this is how I make problems for myself#yes I am playing 5-d chess with gender and am now a he/they but it is not what it is cracked up to be
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Day 124 | id in alt
A little bit of a rematch and my opinion on why you never see Mai's six(seven) shooter again.
Read from left to right.
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#zenin mai#i was on that crazy shit when coloring thay in-between panel#i just wanted to make it look like it was two seconds short of being a comically fucked impact frame#we all know mai was tweaking the fuck out when her gun shattered it took her half a business day to walk up to Kugisaki and try to shake he#they hate eachother they do violence#Kugisaki had another nail in her hand but its blocked off by the thick ass borders lmao#writing for Kugisaki is like breathing air#IM FUCKING SERIOUS BTW IF I SEE ANU SLANDER ON KUGISAKI I WILL FUCKING CAST 1000#1000 PLAUGES UPON YE I WILL NOT TOLERATE SLANDER ON MY GIRLS NAME FRRR#Plus tbh. be creative with it. Jjk fans regurgitate the same shit over and over snd most of the ones i see cant comprehend shit unless#unless its shoved down their throats and even then its like a 50/50#anyway i just love thinking Kugisaki always just bites back shes built like that built aggressive#bear agenda Kugisaki is still hear yall trust trust#also now i low-key have a simmering animosity towards Fushiguro. some people just make me mad. its almost getting as bad as the#the hate i have for yuta. i will not explain myself and i WILL mind my own Business#i will draw yuta for other folks tho#its whatever your honor#maybe my sodium intake is catching up with me#the lizard comment low-key stems from the fact i aggressively called the queen of England a biped lizard#i dont fade into weird political theories but it was kinfa funny to me#ive been thinking about making an au where Kugisaki is a robot. trust i can make anything work#i will not elaborate
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habeas corpus – detective comics #1086
(ID in alt!)
#loved this back up feature so much and seeing that bruce timm shit made me annoyed enough to actually transcribe it#first the way hes depicted as having to stand trial and ARGUE and fight for the rights of using the coin#rather than it just being a compulsion and something he must do before a decision....#like every time. every time when he's 'leaving it up to chance'—thats a time when harvey won. thats a time when harvey fought for the right#to use the coin and make it at least a 50/50 chance instead of 'crawling away until the hard part is done' like two face pushed for#every single time. regardless of the results regardless of knowing theres only a halfway chance of it actually achieving anything#or lessening the damage two face can/will do. every time hes fighting for and still believing in a fair trial and that everyone deserves on#it isnt him being weak. it isnt him avoiding responsibility. its him fighting and forcing and pushing for it as hes internally at war#with himself 24/7. even when two face wins he doesnt give up & continues to fight for what he believes in despite the injustice done to him#the way he tells Judge Janus that it isnt about HIM (himself!) while defending the right of existence to the jury of other societal rejects#the way he gestures to himself only at the very end. he asks the judge does that sound like anyone he knows and janus replies in two faces#voice but harvey keeps going. he keeps fighting for others. but at the end in actually acknowledging two face being part of him#(and by extension harvey being part of two face) and how harvey is fighting just as much to have a place as two face is#(but more within his own mind & upholding his belief system still despite knowing how it continues to fail them) and just FUCK#and two faces snaps! how theres no jurisprudence system above there either ! just no one will admit it!#how harvey knows!!! look what happened to him when he was doing the right thing!#look how many criminals and mob bosses paid their way out! look how the police are corrupt!#but still believing in it and how a system has to be in place despite being a direct victim of it as well and just GOD#I LOVE YOU GOOD HEARTED AND WANTING TO HELP PEOPLE HARVEY DENT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME !!!!!!!!#taking away how he genuinely wanted to help people and bring wrongs to rights takes away literally everything hes built on#it takes away the entire fucking tragedy of his character (and in many ways it changes how bruce himself operates and believes because#harvey WAS a good man doing everything by the books. he was trying to bring justice in the 'right way' and believed in the system. he was#what people tell bruce he should be and look where it got him. look how the system failed 'even the good ones' because the system itself is#corrupt. it isnt flawed—it was operated to oppress and thats why it cant just be fixed but must be entirely rebuilt and why bruce must#operate outside of it. it also gives more depth because harvey is one of batmans first and biggest failures. he didnt protect him.#he didnt save his parents as a helpless child (as bruce) but he couldn't save his parents as BATMAN.#it wasnt just random chance like his parents tragedy but this was calculated and something bruce didnt stop. its ALWAYS going to eat at#him if he could of prevented it by telling harvey his identity. by doing something different. by being more prepared or somehow#knowing it was going to happen. harvey is the face of tragedy in so many ways that cant fit in these messy rambly tags but its ALLL!!!!!!!#bc harv was (and still is despite it all! despite two face!) a good man!! because he originally was a glimmer of hope to bruce & the city!!
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Fellas? We ain't okay over here.
#I feel like shit#Still#I mean like... What else do I even feel right now#I thought my grandpa was the that offered me a place to stay#And last night he told me he was doing just fine before I moved in.#Like I even had a goddamn choice in the matter#Like it was either here or the fucking streets in my mind by that point.#And I wasn't even the one that called him it was my mother#So I don't understand how the hell this is even my fault.#And I'm the burden because I didn't have a choice on where to go???#Like I'm sorry I eat food?????? Is that the problem?????????#Because that's all I really do. I'm not breaking anything#That's my uncle. He's breaking shit all the time.#I eat the food he makes.#He asks me to do something and I do it.#I keep quiet and stay out of his way.#So the one fucking time I vent my frustration about my stuff it's like... I'm the burden now??? And my uncle isn't???????#My uncle is the one that's fucking 50 and still living here.#My uncle is putting shoes in the microwave#He's breaking the washers. He broke 2 actually.#The only thing I can think of is that I've just got 4 different things going on with my psychology#So he has to drive me to all sorts of appointments#And like... I'm sorry I was born with autism????#I'm sorry I was born with ADHD????#I'm sorry I was born with a mood disorder that makes me cry a fuck ton????#I'm sorry that after years of your daughter abusing me that I have anxiety????#Like none of that shits my fault#It's not like these things are contagious or that I can force my body to have these issues.
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Devastating news: my brother is a normal person. It doesn't run in the family, I'm just a weird freak for no reason
#i'm exaggerating but not that much. my parents are like that because they're in their 50s. they were young adults once#okay so my brother. 18 years of age. just started his fancy higher studies in maths. tiny baby goatee he's not shaving.#went to a friend's week long birthday party in a house in the countryside#made out with a girl there?? apparently???#started drinking alcohol. and has now been going out longer and more frequently and sleeping at other people's places#and bestie. let me tell you. i was never doing any of that shit. in fact i am not doing any of that still and i'm a few years older#i don't go out much. i have like four or five friends at all times tops. i certainly don't come back late or god forbid sleep over#never drunk alcohol (don't want to. i could! i just don't. i'm the sober idiot in the corner when everyone else is drunk)#never kissed anyone or had a partner or anything of the sort#he decided to sleep over at midnight?? with zero preparation??#buddy it would have to be pouring acid rain for me to have an unplanned sleepover#without my toothbrush? my pyjama? my phone charger? my plushies? possibly my own pillow/blanket? be for real#my brother is a normal teenager/young adults with a social life and no weird hangup about romance and alcohol and spontaneity#and i'm some kind of freak i guess. having a normal time#older sister girlfailure forever i suppose. how the fuck do i feel like my younger brother is cooler and more normal than me???#i don't even want to be like that i like myself i thought i left all this stupid unfounded insecurity behind with school!!#arghhhhhh#wow i have a ramble tag now
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Having established I’m so useless at art that I can’t even draw basic shapes, I’ve spent the past hour or so focusing on the basics: lines, and a lot of them. I’m getting the hang of fluidity and making a single mark rather than scratching or wobbling my lines, and now I’m practicing connecting one point to another point. It’s going… well, it’s going. But at least it’s going somewhere!
I’ll do my best to keep my mouth shut and stop tormenting everyone with my pity parties from here on out. I was panicking because all of the starting points I found were still way beyond me — small and stupid as it is, I’ve found something I can actually work with, so maybe I can move forward now!
#in which peaches is so fucking useless that he celebrates being able to draw solitary lines#the program I found recommends spending half your time on guided practice and half on drawing for the hell of it#so in that other half I’d like to attempt my usual fare here and there! but it’ll probably be mostly random studies and shit#I’d still like to go through my ancient sketchbook and do a Take 2 on some of the pieces in there just to gauge where I’m at#that’ll be tonight’s second 50% I guess!
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i'm the mayor of misandry town actually i will nuke this disgusting neighbor of mine
#I HATEEEE HIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM#GGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR#GET A FUCKING LIFE BRO#IMAGINE BEING 50+ AND STILL LIVING WITH YOUR FUCKING MOM#IMAGINE HITTING ON A FUCKING TEENAGERRRRRRR#BROOOOOOOOOOOOO#I'M NOT A TEENAGER ANYMORE BUT HE'S BEEN DOING THIS SHIT FOR SOOOO LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG#mayor of loserville
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anyway having to call an ambulance is so very stressful what the fuck is up with that.
#rai.txt#im. like. i havent yet processed yesterday fully honestly.#what do i do with myself.#is that woman like gonna be okay like???#surprisingly i wasnt scared abt talking on the phone which was weird bc i fucking hate talking on the phone#shit is weird#and also my dad said hes never had to call the emergemcy services ever. and hes like. late 50s. which wild.#anyway im still super freaked out by it tbh and if i think abt it too much ill cry so. im gonna shut up now
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Also I am VINDICATED that literally all bosses and p.e.s at my new job has said to me "wow you're good at this. This is the fastest anyone has picked this up. You'll advance fast if you actually stay here" Because I can spot design flaws that take like idk engineering sense? I just know what kinds of things are important in design.
So vindicated that I'm a good engineer. Vindicated that I held that company together. They can keep it going (because I set them up to be able to do that) but there is nothing to hold them together. I told the principals that what they'll lose with me is someone to make sure all the parts of the business work together and someone who can make holistic solutions, and that's what they're seeing.
The implication was always that I wasnt a talented engineer. That's what they thought from literally week two (which I know from sources). I wonder what about me made them think in two weeks I was bad at engineering 🤔 I wonder what about me made them think that when I was still learning things like who our customers were and being introduced to people 🤔 literally before I ever took on an engineering project 🤔 not sure! A mystery!
As I was saying in the 'think of things no one has thought of' business class: I have come up with industry standard systems. Is it small? Yes. But it was 100% my design with no co-designers.
#totes bro#is this me not being humble? maybe#but I legitimately think im good at engineering. like i really think im not bad at it#now that everyone around me keeps telling me im good at engineering at the new job (lol)#working in an over 50% female (over 50% nonwhite too) office is great because people dont automatically assume im an idiot#the misogyny in engineering is unbearable#apparently all of the contractors my coworkers work with commit misogyny crimes regularly so its not my imagination#also our whole kind of thing is men make us do their work for them for free because we check for the publics interest#and they dont even try to work inline with what is best. they just try to get away with shit.#EXCEPT for the female PEs! they try to do a good job! so we dont have to pick up their slack#anyway women are simply better engineers. having everyone assume youre bad at engineering makes you better imo#will anyone ever tell you youre better? no.#OH. ALSO. at my last job if the fraud engineer sales guy presented my solutions and products as his own he would get praise from customers#so i eventually stopped saying things were my designs because at least i could get credit that they were good when he presented them#this isnt engineering ethics this is me bitching about misogyny#also with the last post all fields are subject to the military industrial complex. let mech e (and aerospace but you should have known) is#a specific hell because its such a conservative engineering still
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i appreciate a quick response but it also scares the shit out of me how fast my PI responds. like FUCK!!! i wasnt prepared to deal further with this for at least a couple hours
#like when i first emailed him last summer to ask about joining his lab i expected a response within like maybe 3 days bc thats what im used#to with most academics and professionals but he literally responded in three MINUTES and i felt like shitting myself#like. when does this man sleep. bc im emailing him my draft at 10pm and get a response right away when i know hes also in the lab at the#first moment he can. i have no way of saying if he gets there earlier than 8 bc you know my ass is getting there at 9 but im pretty sure its#8 at the latest. AND he works out in the mornings. GIRL????#hes like yeah during my phd i went to the gym at 5 was in the lab for 8 hours went home cooked dinner etc and would go to bed at midnight#so. he functioned on about 5 hours of sleep for at least 4 years and im pretty sure he still does. what fucking witchcraft is his body#chemistry doing in there. HES IN HIS 50S TOO
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Time for me to be completely changed as a person! *just watched falsettos*
#the klock keeps ticking#oh dude we’re so back oh its so back#how am i supposed to live my life after this how am i supposed to go on#its funny cuz ive seen this damn show actually a thousand times i know it forward and backwards#and i dont really cry ever in general and ive become so familiar with falsettos that i dont cry anymore#but it still has the ability to destroy some deep part of me every single time in a new way#I will stay firm in my belief that its the greatest piece of media ever made#if i ever get to see falsettos on broadway (pipe dream ik) like#thatd be it for me man like how the hell are you supposed to leave and drive home after that akdnsk#i cant remember the last time i watched either i think it mightve been like. when i first moved into my old apartment 😳#and ive gone through quite a bit of shit since then and im smarter. i think#so yeah it hit me very hard this time i always stick to something different#im very much wrecked about this fucking family lets just say that#lets just say ‘shes cooked for some 200 guests i know we’re not that many actually we’re 7’#really hit different this time KID DO YOU KNOW HOW PROUD I AM#DONT KNOW WHY BUT HE LOOKS LIKE MARVIN#so so good so lovingly written and performed so real and beautiful and tragic FUCKKKK#yeah basically prepare for me to write like 50 essays for a few days about all the characters every song every lyric every sound yeah#falsettos is probably deadass the reason im like this it shaped me so much#just like. the ending of tragedy that was so unexpected and unfair#and it looks at the fucking homophobic shits who preached all about this being just desserts for the perverted behavior#and it says ‘this man could’ve kept that unhappy heterosexual life and avoided all of this but he chose the one that killed him because#it made him feel like himself it made him happy despite how brief it was and hed choose this route in every universe’#just a piece of art that is so true to queerness i dont think anything else has instilled a sense of pride in me like falsettos has#the tight knit family marvin tries so hard to keep together is falling apart worse and worse with each attempt#but once marvin is happy and loves himself and is loved by others the family ends up growing and sticking together naturally#aaughhh yeah ahahaha yeah man everyone please love your friends so genuinely love yourself and keep going 🥰
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