#he's so wife

[somanywips]

Zoro calls Sanji his wife normally. It started as a joke, because Sanji sometimes acts like a 50s housewife (cooks, cleans, takes care of the children strawhats), but it just stuck after a while, so whenever he goes somewhere to run an errand for Sanji he's like "my wife wants this shit *hands list to whoever*" so everyone is like Who Is The Mysterious Wife of The Greatest Swordsman. The marines, some old enemies and some rookies want to find out in order to kidnap the "wife" and it use "her" as leverage against Zoro. Some people try to follow him home, but he has yet to acquire a sense of direction (the Baratie has stood in the same place in the All Blue for the last 15 years, no one has any hope left that he will learn the way back), so people start coming up with weirder and weirder ways to trick the Wife to come out from wherever she's hiding, but all they get is a sword in the ass. But one day, when Sanji's came to collect Zoro to take him back home, some spy disguised as a merchant just goes and asks Zoro who the fuck is his wife and Zoro like, puffs up and smiles all proud of himself before pointing at Sanji and saying he's Zoro's wife (Sanji rolls his eyes even if his face is really red, cause damn the Marimo is such a lame old man). The spy goes like Well Fuck and tells the people who wanted to know to think of another plan, cause the "wife" is actually Blackleg Sanji, who Will put down an entire fleet of marines without even breaking a sweat (Sanji's wanted poster gets updated later to Roronoa "Blackleg" Sanji and he goes "fucking finally! It's been almost 20 years!").

(when Zoro's mad at Sanji he calls him husband and Sanji goes like 🥺 Husband don't love me anymore? Husband divorces me😭🥺🥺? No booze for husband 😡! No booze for husband for a thousand years!!😡😡😤🤬)

[decepticondoll]

I need a swerve housewife NOW

I could treat him right; I swear I could. I'd go out and buy him frilly little things to wear, bring him a new platter of energon treats every other day; but of course, he'd still be able to run his bar. I'd never rip my wife away from his passion. Movie night is officially every night with a new selection each week; one or two from each of his favorite genres.

And every so often I'd absolutely plow him until his mind boggles, and he can't even ramble. I mean, look at him. He's so holdable, you're telling me you wouldn't bend that bartender over and go ham, given the chance? I'd suck his schloing silly style, get crazy with it.

I don't even have a gearshift, but I'd most definitely figure it out. I'll be inside that beautiful bot one way or another.

[gremlincorner]

hey chat what if i was cringe

trick question, i was already cringe

[mikonawa]

your honor?

Astarion isn't my husband. he's my WIFE. thank you.

[c-h-e-r-r-i-e-s]

[tsoeyu]

gregor sketch on my assignment.. (i am tired)

[mywitchcultblr]

Me before Monsieur Neuvillette: French :/

Me after Monsieur Neuvillette: AYY FREENNCH! 😍

[mcl4r3n]

why yes, max verstappen indeed is wife

[ratoncitoscirqueros]

I LOVE MY WIFE ADSFGSJSKLDLSK

mi más honesta reacción:

giggling and kicking my feet

[notherpuppet]

Role reversal AU

[peanutseagle]

Yeah. so. episode three

[bug-hearted]

bill likes to prank fiddleford sometimes. it gets very funny

[cryptocism]

that half-blank, half-apocalyptic look

"i can b ur angle or yuor devil" etc etc "get a man who can do both" etc etc

obsessed with this vamp i think he should get to do whatever he wants forever

[godforsakenpaladinofnigh]

Girl dad 🌸

[bluegiragi]

young silco pls just give me one chance

early access + nsfw on patreon

[chloesimaginationthings]

William is the most divorced man in the FNAF universe