#he's so wife

[somanywips]

Zoro calls Sanji his wife normally. It started as a joke, because Sanji sometimes acts like a 50s housewife (cooks, cleans, takes care of the children strawhats), but it just stuck after a while, so whenever he goes somewhere to run an errand for Sanji he's like "my wife wants this shit *hands list to whoever*" so everyone is like Who Is The Mysterious Wife of The Greatest Swordsman. The marines, some old enemies and some rookies want to find out in order to kidnap the "wife" and it use "her" as leverage against Zoro. Some people try to follow him home, but he has yet to acquire a sense of direction (the Baratie has stood in the same place in the All Blue for the last 15 years, no one has any hope left that he will learn the way back), so people start coming up with weirder and weirder ways to trick the Wife to come out from wherever she's hiding, but all they get is a sword in the ass. But one day, when Sanji's came to collect Zoro to take him back home, some spy disguised as a merchant just goes and asks Zoro who the fuck is his wife and Zoro like, puffs up and smiles all proud of himself before pointing at Sanji and saying he's Zoro's wife (Sanji rolls his eyes even if his face is really red, cause damn the Marimo is such a lame old man). The spy goes like Well Fuck and tells the people who wanted to know to think of another plan, cause the "wife" is actually Blackleg Sanji, who Will put down an entire fleet of marines without even breaking a sweat (Sanji's wanted poster gets updated later to Roronoa "Blackleg" Sanji and he goes "fucking finally! It's been almost 20 years!").

(when Zoro's mad at Sanji he calls him husband and Sanji goes like 🥺 Husband don't love me anymore? Husband divorces me😭🥺🥺? No booze for husband 😡! No booze for husband for a thousand years!!😡😡😤🤬)

[decepticondoll]

I need a swerve housewife NOW

I could treat him right; I swear I could. I'd go out and buy him frilly little things to wear, bring him a new platter of energon treats every other day; but of course, he'd still be able to run his bar. I'd never rip my wife away from his passion. Movie night is officially every night with a new selection each week; one or two from each of his favorite genres.

And every so often I'd absolutely plow him until his mind boggles, and he can't even ramble. I mean, look at him. He's so holdable, you're telling me you wouldn't bend that bartender over and go ham, given the chance? I'd suck his schloing silly style, get crazy with it.

I don't even have a gearshift, but I'd most definitely figure it out. I'll be inside that beautiful bot one way or another.

[gremlincorner]

hey chat what if i was cringe

trick question, i was already cringe

[mikonawa]

your honor?

Astarion isn't my husband. he's my WIFE. thank you.

[c-h-e-r-r-i-e-s]

[tsoeyu]

gregor sketch on my assignment.. (i am tired)

[mywitchcultblr]

Me before Monsieur Neuvillette: French :/

Me after Monsieur Neuvillette: AYY FREENNCH! 😍

[mcl4r3n]

why yes, max verstappen indeed is wife

[ratoncitoscirqueros]

I LOVE MY WIFE ADSFGSJSKLDLSK

mi más honesta reacción:

giggling and kicking my feet

[notherpuppet]

Role reversal AU

[peanutseagle]

Yeah. so. episode three

[bug-hearted]

bill likes to prank fiddleford sometimes. it gets very funny

[cryptocism]

that half-blank, half-apocalyptic look

"i can b ur angle or yuor devil" etc etc "get a man who can do both" etc etc

obsessed with this vamp i think he should get to do whatever he wants forever

[godforsakenpaladinofnigh]

Girl dad 🌸

[chloesimaginationthings]

William is the most divorced man in the FNAF universe

[talaricula]

Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :

Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources

Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)

Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women

Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women

Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)

Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)

Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community

Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS

Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough

Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media

Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards

Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories

Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")

And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue

Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)