#w.fics

[somanywips]

Sanji puts his fingers inside of Zoro's mouth and Zoro bites them. Not enough to hurt, not even to leave a mark, but he could do it. Could bite down hard enough to rip them apart, reach inside of Sanji's chest and rip his ribcage open, squeeze his heart until it stops. He could.

But he lets Sanji's fingers rest on his tongue, tasting his skin, feeling the ash from the cigarettes. Let's him drag his nails across his back, leaving thin red trails that lead to nowhere good.

[somanywips]

Zoro calls Sanji his wife normally. It started as a joke, because Sanji sometimes acts like a 50s housewife (cooks, cleans, takes care of the children strawhats), but it just stuck after a while, so whenever he goes somewhere to run an errand for Sanji he's like "my wife wants this shit *hands list to whoever*" so everyone is like Who Is The Mysterious Wife of The Greatest Swordsman. The marines, some old enemies and some rookies want to find out in order to kidnap the "wife" and it use "her" as leverage against Zoro. Some people try to follow him home, but he has yet to acquire a sense of direction (the Baratie has stood in the same place in the All Blue for the last 15 years, no one has any hope left that he will learn the way back), so people start coming up with weirder and weirder ways to trick the Wife to come out from wherever she's hiding, but all they get is a sword in the ass. But one day, when Sanji's came to collect Zoro to take him back home, some spy disguised as a merchant just goes and asks Zoro who the fuck is his wife and Zoro like, puffs up and smiles all proud of himself before pointing at Sanji and saying he's Zoro's wife (Sanji rolls his eyes even if his face is really red, cause damn the Marimo is such a lame old man). The spy goes like Well Fuck and tells the people who wanted to know to think of another plan, cause the "wife" is actually Blackleg Sanji, who Will put down an entire fleet of marines without even breaking a sweat (Sanji's wanted poster gets updated later to Roronoa "Blackleg" Sanji and he goes "fucking finally! It's been almost 20 years!").

(when Zoro's mad at Sanji he calls him husband and Sanji goes like 🥺 Husband don't love me anymore? Husband divorces me😭🥺🥺? No booze for husband 😡! No booze for husband for a thousand years!!😡😡😤🤬)

[somanywips]

The fact that Sanji is an universal blood donor while Zoro is a universal blood receiver makes me insane a little like. ZoSan literally complete eachother, Sanji will give every part of himself away and Zoro will hold everything close to his heart. Like whatever. I'm not thinking crazy thoughts. I don't even care actually. Zoro wouldn't eat Sanji's heart willing given by the cook's own hands. Whatever. This is fine

[somanywips]

I think it would be hilarious if Zeff had beef with Zoro. Like, whenever he does Zeff would just huff and go like "The little eggplant could find a better one" just to be an ass. And he would also argue with Sanji about it like

Zeff: are you sure you want that cabbage

Sanji: for the millionth time, yes

Zeff: he doesn't even have a job

Sanji: Look!- well you have a point

And Zeff continue bullying Zoro for no reason

[somanywips]

I just started thinking about Zoro gaining the habit of getting up early and making coffee for Sanji. Just a simple coffee, nothing fancy, black with the tiniest amount of sugar, and he gets really good at it too like, his coffee is actually more than just decent, and he makes it everyday for Sanji and then a macha tea for himself.

The thing is. Sanji Hates coffee, he always drank it back when the crew was together all day everyday so he could stay awake, because it's stronger than green tea, so naturally, the swordsman assumed he liked. But he never really enjoyed it as a drink. But then Zoro starts waking up before him just to make him a cup of coffee, so they can have a drink together while they watch the sunrise. So coffee becomes his favorite thing in the world, not because he actually Likes drinking it, but because he gets to share this moment with Zoro.

("You know, I don't actually like coffee"

"You don't like coffee?! I've making it for you for the past five years!"

"I love coffee! It's my favorite drink"

"But you just said-"

"Well I don't like drinking coffee, but I love this coffee, because you made it for me"

"... Stupid cook, I could've made you tea instead"

"I would drink anything you made for me you shitty swordsman"

"Fuck you, I'll keep making you coffee until we are on our death beds"

The next day Zoro makes Sanji a green tea with honey and a splash of milk)

[somanywips]

Sanji figured out he was in love with Zoro of all people, he immediately started planning how to kill the shitty Marimo. His favorite plan was to lure the damn swordsman in for a fight and then wrap his legs around his head and squeeze him and- well, by that point Sanji's head would wander off and when he came to himself he was already thinking about Zoro with even less clothing than usual. That man left nothing for the imagination and that would probably kill Sanji one day, because his mind could conjure Zoro's body with an accuracy that could be scary for some. So Sanji had a mission: Stop Loving Moss.

Step 1 of the mission would be to stop thinking about him. Which was easy, since differently from that idiot, Sanji actually had a job that he needed to do constantly instead of napping in the sun the whole day and- well. That step was doomed to fail anyway.

But step 2 would be easier! Don't think about why he fell in love with the Marimo. Zoro didn't have any good qualities outside of fighting. Except maybe how gentle he was with Chopper, or children in general, and also how he took his role as the crew's protector so seriously he trained religiously everyday, and also his determination to fulfill his dream to be the world's greatest swordsman, and- well, Sanji might be delusional at times, but even he could see that this step was simply impossible.

But he could skip straight to the third step! All he needed to do was fall in love with someone else! A lovely lady with luscious hair and pink lips, not the patch of grass Zoro had on his head or his chapped and dry lips, even if his hair was actually really soft, and running his hands through it had become one of his favorite things, and his lips weren't really dry thanks to how much water Sanji made the swordsman drink throughout the day.

And Sanji probably could come up with a thousand steps, but the shitty swordsman would slash right through them. At the end of the day, Sanji would still end up in his arms, with their hearts interwoven in a mess that only the two of them understood.

When Sanji found out he was in love with Zoro, he simply kept falling.

(I think Zoro figuring it out would be like:

Zoro: *acquires the brain cell for one second and the first thing he thinks about is Sanji smiling

Zoro:

Zoro: well now I gotta keep him forever I guess

And then he went on with his day)

[somanywips]

The cook was good with children. And not even because he was an omega, because Luffy was an omega too and Zoro had never seen kids run to him for anything other than playing.

So the cook was good with kids, whatever, it didn't matter. Except that seeing a tiny baby in curlybrows' arms made his body feel hotter than the sun. He almost feared he had a rut coming in out of the blue even if his cycles are the most regular of the entire crew.

So the shitty cook looked like something divine with a baby in his arms. Whatever. No big deal. Zoro could be normal about it.

That statement got proved entirely wrong when Zoro was, in fact, not normal about it. Or perhaps dreaming about your crewmate (who you "hate") being with a kid on his hip and another on the way was normal. Or perhaps not. Most likely not.

So maybe Zoro wanted to get Sanji pregnant, and maybe that was slightly crazy since they weren't even courting. But he could fix that, he Would fix that. It would take a little while but he would make sure Sanji had a baby in his arms.

[somanywips]

After Sanji gets more comfortable with himself and starts wearing dresses and skirts and all sorts of clothes, Zoro just goes "this is free real estate". His hands are somehow Always up Sanji's skirts, sometimes he's not even doing anything, his hand is just there resting on Sanji's upper thigh or ass, other times, because he's also a pervert and a freak, Zoro just puts his hands Inside Sanji's underwear, that either leads to a fight or a good time (most times it's both, because they're both freaks and fighting is foreplay for them.), Zoro is a big fan of the mini skirts, makes his life easier, all he needs to do is bend the cook over the nearest surface and boom he's got a whole feast right there. He starts drinking less so he can buy Sanji more mini skirts and mini dresses and sometimes even lingerie when he's feeling like tempting fate a little. Sanji starts wearing more skirts and short shorts simply because seeing Zoro get so riled up over his legs is hilarious

(it's worse when they're older cause Sanji's always wearing skirts and little dresses and everyone kinda thirsts over his legs so Zoro makes it his mission to make it Very Clear that the cook is indeed very married thank you)

[somanywips]

Anyway Sanji who smuggles animals in the ship. He's a little bit of a Disney princess, because animals (especially small ones) just flock to him. First he gets a little rat (not even one of those domestic ones, just straight up a rat), he takes really good care of it obviously, to the point where the rat is completely used to being handled and is just such a spoiled little guy. He gives it away to a kid a few months after he got it, the crew didn't even know about the existence of the rat. Then it's a bird, and after that another rat, Zoro only finds out after the kitten and he only found out because the kitten was sick and Sanji stayed in the galley for way longer (longer even that he used to stay there) and he missed the blond in their bed. Sanji made him promise he wouldn't tell the crew, and so they took care of the kitten and Sanji gave it away on the next island. After that, Zoro keeps covering for Sanji's multiple strays (he gets more kisses as payment so he does that gladly). It's another rat, then a cat, then a bird, then a whole litter of puppies. The crew finds out after the puppies, because there are like five of them and it's impossible to keep them in the galley. They give away most of the puppies, but keep one in the ship (Sanji always got so sad when he had to give away the little animals he rescued, so the crew decided to give him a little doggy). Zoro and the dog compete on who loves Sanji the most

[somanywips]

Au where you're pulled towards your soulmate, kinda like magnets.

So like, Zoro actually had a pretty good sense of direction when he was a kid. Not matter where you put him, he always knew where North was and could go wherever he wanted, but that changed when he turned 8. No one had no idea why, and Zoro was also completely clueless because he was always being pulled north, but then it just... Changed places one day. It kept moving around for a while until it settled somewhere else. And whatever it was that was pulling Zoro that way had always been north, so he just went Alright Guess The World Can Move Around and didn't question it. So he went on with his life, with his north sometimes shifting around.

When the cook joins the crew, it gets worse because now the north is always where Sanji is and the shitty bastard can always find him no matter where or how far Zoro goes.

And Zoro has no idea why his feet always seem to take him where Sanji is, why he always ends up in the galley at the end of the day, sitting on the floor, just watching the cook work, just existing near him.

And then they kiss for the first time, and he finally understands that Sanji has always been his north

[somanywips]

Zoro sometimes says the most romantic shit out of the blue. And he doesn't even do it on purpose!!!! He's completely oblivious about it being romantic and he's saying stuff like "I would rather break my swords than lose you cook" or "I don't care about getting lost cause I'll always find my way back to you" and Sanji always. Always. Gets so flustered that he makes Chopper scared about him having a fever, he becomes a babbling mess, because while saying sweet things or being flirty is basically a personality trait for him, accepting that people are reciprocating the flirting is whole beast. So he always gets flustered, and also kicks Zoro to the middle of the ocean.

[somanywips]

Zoro loves biting (to the surprise of absolutely No One), everything he owns is covered in teeth marks, from his swords to even his shirts. Even before they got together or did anything sexual, Sanji was also Always covered in bite marks because Zoro liked biting him while Sanji cooked so he would get annoyed, but wouldn't fight else he risks something happening to the food, so it was very common to see Zoro pulling Sanji's shirt down and biting his neck or just his cheeck. When they get together it somehow gets Worse, Zoro's mouth is somehow always attached to Sanji, sometimes a neck, a shoulder, his calf on one particularly pathetic display of jealousy from Zoro. It gets to a point where it's weirder to see Sanji Without any bite marks than to see him covered by them.

[somanywips]

I think it would be hilarious if like, Zosan had children and none of them looked like Sanji. Like, ohh the mighty Germa genes, the strongest of them all- Nope, mini marimos for you. I imagine they have three kids, the older one is a literal copy of Zoro, like, imagine pre-time skip Zoro, that's him, not a single change (well, the kid does shower a lot more and isn't as grumpy, but other than that? A clone). The middle child had the Potential of looking a little bit like Sanji, they thought the kid was born with blond hair, but as it turns out, it was just a very light green, and got darker after he grew up, so he also has green hair just like Zoro, and he looks just like Zoro's dad looked like, the only similarity he has with Sanji is his eyes, which are also blue. The youngest child was the only girl they had, also a copy of Zoro, even the mannerisms are the same, the only difference is that she doesn't like fighting with swords, preferring Sanji's fighting style. The crew jokes that Sanji grew a vegetable patch with so much green running around him.

[somanywips]

By the time they reach their 40s, Sanji's at least 20 cms taller than Zoro, and he's Ruthless with the nicknames. It's little moss, plankton, shortie, any nickname about him being shorter than Sanji. Zoro Hates it with a passion, like What The Fuck Zoro was taller than Sanji for most of their 20s, and then all of sudden this bitch goes and gets taller????? So Zoro annoys him back by just. Picking him up and throwing him on his shoulder, like he doesn't even weight anything. And he'll do it at the most random times too! Just picking Sanji up and walking away, sometimes to their room, sometimes out on the deck. And they just keep annoying the shit out of eachother

[somanywips]

40yo Zosan where Zoro just can't keep his hands to himself. Sanji can't take him anywhere cause the marimo's hands always find themselves under his clothes somehow. And if he's wearing a dress? It's better to not even leave the house cause Zoro never lets him stay with intact underwear for very long.

Belly, tighs and back are free real state for Zoro, it's his god-given right to always be making skin to skin contact with Sanji

[somanywips]

I like to think Sanji's haki got that good because he's the Find A Lost Zoro Club leader (he's the only member). His haki has an insane reach, because Zoro always wanders way too far from the ship and Sanji ain't got time to be searching for him, so it only makes sense to hone his haki to such degree that now he can always hear Zoro's heart even if they're a whole island apart.

(He couldn't sleep in Whole Cake Island, too used to having the swordsman's heartbeat in his ears when he went to bed, a steady thump-thump that lured him into dreamland, but Sanji had strayed too far, even his haki couldn't reach that great of a distance. All he could think of was who would find Zoro now? Who would lead him back to their home?)