#he's so horrible but... maybe we can be minor villains... together?

[silverselfshippingchaos]

HIS SMILE...

[reconditarmonia]

Dear Trick or Treat Creator 2023

Hi! Thank you for writing/drawing for me! I’m reconditarmonia here and on AO3. I have anon messaging off, but mods can contact me if you have any questions.

Dishonored | Motherland: Fort Salem | Sleep No More

General likes:

– Loyalty kink! Trust, affectionate or loving use of titles, gestures of loyalty, replacing one’s situational or ethical judgment with someone else’s, risking oneself (physically or otherwise) for someone else, not doing so on their orders. Can be commander-subordinate or comrades-in-arms.

– Heists, or other stories where there’s a lot of planning and then we see how the plan goes.

– Femslash, complicated or intense relationships between women, and female-centric gen. Women doing “male” stuff (possibly while crossdressing).

– Relationships that aren’t built on romance or attraction. They can be romantic or sexual as well, but my favorite ships are all ones where it would still be interesting or compelling if the romantic component never materialized. Stories whose emotional climax or resolution isn’t the sex scene, if there is one.

– Uniforms/costumes/clothing.

– Stories, history, and performance. What gets told and how, what doesn’t get told or written down, behavior in a society where everyone’s consuming media and aware of its tropes, how people create their personas and script their own lines.

– Minority/diaspora feelings and themes.

Smut Likes: clothing, uniforms, sexual tension, breasts, manual sex, cunnilingus, grinding, informal d/s elements, intensity.

General DNW: rape/dubcon, torture, other creative gore; unrequested AUs, including “same setting, different rules” AUs such as soulmates/soulbonds; PWP; food sex; embarrassment; focus on pregnancy; Christmas/Christian themes; infidelity; unrequested polyamory; focus on unrequested canon or non-canon ships; unrequested trans versions of characters; breakups; jealousy; focus on grief; unequal levels of investment in a relationship (including concerns about same that turn out to be unwarranted), or the idea of a character accepting something they're unhappy with as the most they're going to get; characters who are written in a sexual context within the fic being ignorant about sex/anatomy (inexperienced is fine); the word "pussy"

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Fandom: Dishonored (Trick/Treat - Fic)

Character(s): Delilah Copperspoon, Kirin Jindosh, Breanna Ashworth

I love these assholes! Whether together or separately, they're ambitious and awful and smart. A few starter thoughts:

Delilah's thoughts on her art, her art style and how she developed it! Talk nerdy to me. I love that about her, that her art is magic and evil but she's also a legit famous artist in-universe with a really distinct style.

I likewise love that Breanna also has a full-time job with a prominent social position and a heavy workload as the head curator of the Conservatory! What is her day-to-day life like? The notes we see from her about the magic she's working on are so analytical and scientific, too - I'd love to get into her head more.

Delilah/Breanna villain fluff

A World as it Should Be that's more like THIS, or at least more like in the closing narration where it talks about how all her subjects loved her and she had a bunch of adventures

Witch recruitment/assembling

I dearly wish the player could have recruited Jindosh, like we recruited Sokolov, who was equally horrible, in the first game. Jindosh's motivation is to prove that science is great, anyway; I bet he'd be persuadable. And then he could make machines for you!

literally just more Jindosh code comments, I love his code comments in the robots

Delilah and Billie during Billie's time in the gang, when she had Billie's submission and maybe even some level of trust - what do they see in each other?

Breanna and Billie! Gosh, I'd love something with them meeting (closer to the DH2 timeframe than the KoD/BW timeline, but accepting the retcon that Breanna had been there in BW)

Breanna and Jindosh's terrible friendship/working relationship. Is their distaste for everyone else enough to overcome their distaste for each other? Put them at a fancy party (Luca’s or otherwise) kvetching about other people. Get them drunk. Give them another project to collaborate on.

I've got more prompts from previous requests in my "dear author letters" tag.

Fandom-Specific DNW: any reference in any way whatsoever to Jindosh's nonlethal ending.

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Fandom: Motherland: Fort Salem (Trick/Treat - Fic)

Character(s): Original Historical Witch(es)

The alternate history that the show has created is so interesting and I’m craving expansion of that through fic! Tell me about the Bellweather ancestor who was a slave and ended up powerful and influential enough to begin a dynasty, and how she met and was recruited by Alder. Or other enslaved witches, witches in the American Revolution or the Civil War, or the founding of Fort Salem and standardization of American military magic with its various influences. How were these women able to teach each other and to win not only freedom but power? Were they able to get other enslaved women free via their own position in the military? What even was the original original witch military like in the 1690s and shortly thereafter, the whole process of making this witchery into a military; who were the key people involved?

Or Chinese or Jewish or Mexican immigrant witches (that wasn’t an exhaustive list) who maybe came from different magic traditions and might have had to make the choice of whether or not to reveal that they had magic (if the system knows you because of your descent in the country?), serving their country but also binding their daughters and granddaughters forever. (I appreciate, for example, that there are a couple of Asian actresses in the cast and that some of them are even “High Atlantic” American royalty, but they all have English names - I want to know their families’ stories in the same way that we have an idea of how influential Black witches were to the witch military!) What did they bring to the American magic tradition and what did they have to lose or sand off?

Fandom-Specific DNW: I didn’t enjoy the overt eugenics plotline in season 2 and would prefer that nothing about breeding witches for stronger magic or particular traits (as opposed to any social reasons for arranged marriage and high society matching) be present in the fic.

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Fandom: Sleep No More (Trick - Art, Fic)

Character(s): J. Fulton, Female Speakeasy Bartender, Speakeasy Bartender, Bald Witch, Porter

'Tis the season for spooky Sleep No More fic/art! I love fic and art that allows me to mentally revisit the atmosphere of the McKittrick. (I apologize that I'm not a frequent art requester nor do I have an especially visual mind, so I don't have great or many art prompts, but the main thing I want out of SNM art is The Vibe, tbh. Non-drawn art, like embroidery or something, would also be really cool if that happens to be your jam?) Caution: Spoilers for Porter's 1:1, if you care about that.

You can probably tell from my character picks that I'm the sort of guest who sees any part of the actual Macbeth plot happening and wanders away to look at something else. Proud 4th floor stan here - I love all the small magic and folk magic up there, the precise little rituals that reach out to or guard against the world of darkness and magic that is Outside their town but also underlying/intertwined with it - but I also hung out with the Porter a lot last time and I love him now. I'm really interested as well in how magic and outsider-ness and queerness all interact in the world of SNM - stuff like:

the occasional new cross-casting of Speakeasy Bartender! (side note: I'd read the character as a butch woman, learned afterwards that the performer is nb and uses she/they pronouns, but either way, it's interesting to me that this Speaks is a gender non-conforming character in a way the usual one is very much not. I'm also pretty psyched that some of the show ephemera now refers to the character in a gender-neutral way. Please take it as read in this letter that Female Speakeasy Bartender refers to the gender non-conforming version of this character.)

the way that the Fulton/male!Speakeasy duet where they search each other for witch marks starts off like they're trying to pick each other up

everything about the Porter, but especially his (her?) 1:1

I mean, the witches' everything

An assortment of prompts (but feel free to do anything else too!):

how does Bald Witch interact with the normal world (Paisley/the hotel/etc.) or deliberately carve out other spaces (like the apothecary shop)? I love the apothecary shop and Bald Witch’s scene in it. how much does she have a day-to-day life vs. witching all the time? what's her relationship with Sexy Witch?

the intense queerness of Fulton's trip to the speakeasy, whether that's about having an extremely homoerotic encounter with a male Bartender that he may or may not have partly sought out, or a confounding one where not only is he entering this underworld location to confront a creepy magic person, but there’s also the gender transgression aspect of f!Speaks (and on the other other hand, she’s not the way he might have envisioned a witch either!)

more of Fulton's little charms and rituals. more of Porter's little charms and rituals!

what actually is the difference between being a witch and being a human familiar? more about how Speaks and the witches interact?

...Fulton/Porter?! (in a story where Porter is a man rather than a closeted trans woman)

I love the d/s vibes of the Hecate/Speaks relationship, especially with f!Speaks as Hecate’s creature/enforcer/weapon. How/why did Hecate choose Speakeasy and what does she think of or do with their devotion and service? (THE VIAL OF TEARS SCENE asdsjhasjkhd, it killed me.)

I know I only picked "trick" but fic/art about Porter getting to eventually escape and also transition, if that's how you read that 1:1, would be sweet

sexy rituals, ritual sex, art of nude or partly nude people with sigils on them

what's f!Speaks's story? Were her GNC presentation or sexuality a factor in her getting involved in the underground booze business and/or Hecate’s service, and how do they affect her dealings with people now? Did she do small magic before becoming Hecate’s familiar, or did that come after/as a result of it?

by structural design, the canon can't really engage with race and racism, but I'd be fascinated by a story that got into a character being a racial/ethnic minority in Paisley/McK in a non-race-blind-casting way

I've tried not to make this section TOO long, especially since I've had previous exchange requests for just one or another of these characters, so you can look at my "dear author letters" tag for additional previous prompts and thoughts for f!Speaks and Bald Witch as well if you'd like!

Fandom-Specific DNW Exception: if you write Hecate/f!Speakeasy, consider my DNW of unequal investment waived, as long as Speaks isn't under the impression that it is equal or upset by that. You don't need to act as though any of the unrequested f/m ships for the requested characters (eg. male Speaks/Sexy Witch, Fulton/Agnes) aren't canon, but I'd rather they not be focused on, please. I'm also not interested in the Porter/Boy Witch romance being the focus of a story (because I haven't spent much time with Boy - go into Porter's queerness as much as you like). If you have other questions about which ships can be present, please drop me a line.

---

Thank you!

[ground-zero-idiocies]

I got a funny Fallout 4 prompt. So basically the Sole Survivor has all of their companions together in one room. Sole comes up with the most insanely stupid battle plan imaginable, that will never succeed and will just create a huge disaster and fail horribly. As they are describing their completely insane and idiotic plan, Nick Valentine being the Dad he is to Sole grounds them/puts them in time out, in front of everyone.

I like it. Let's do it.

Fallout 4 Companions React: A Terrible Battle Plan

Oh no! The [Bad guys] are invading from [direction]! Nora needs a plan to deal with the dastardly threat of the evil [villain]! Nora and friends meet in the Sanctuary War room, which may or may not have been a wine cellar before the bombs.

Now, let me explain something to you, dear reader. On this particular day, Nora is drunk. As in, probably-should-get-to-a-hospital-for-alcohol-poisoning-but-hospitals-don't-exist-anymore drunk. With that context, we shall continue.

Nora slowly stumbles up, dropping their sidearm and not noticing. "Here's the...uh...plan. We charge straight into their base, quicksave a bunch of times, and then kill the bad...ugh...guys. Foolproof plan."

As Nora nearly falls over, Nick Valentine catches her and sets her down on a chair. A look of pained irritation comes over his robotic face, his patched skin only serving to make his emotions more clear.

"Are you out of your mind?? You want us to charge in, guns blazing, right into the heart of enemy territory? You're the general of the Minutemen, a Sentinel of the Brotherhood, Second-in-Command of the Railroad, oh, and leader of the God-damn Institute! Do you know how many lives can be lost when you're too stoned to make a tactical decision, the day before our big counter-strike? I don't like this, but go sit in the corner. I mean it. You are in time-out. If you want to get us all killed, fine. My time's far come and gone, but you don’t get to mess up the whole damn Commonwealth because you couldn’t be bothered to put down the psycho can!”

Nick huffs and sits back down. The Companions murmur to each other; they’ve never seen Nick so angry.

Cait: “Well honestly I don’t see you you’re so damn angry. Not like there’s anything wrong with chems, now is there mister Valentine?? And the plan might’ve been total shite but who even follows plans??”

Codsworth: “Mum, I have to tell you that I am disappointed! I knew that I liked would sustain damage in the counter-strike but I did believe that you would at least attempt to create a valid plan of attack as to save as many lives as possible! Truly disappointing. What would sir have said?”

Curie: “My databanks show that tactics such as yours fail approximately 83% of the time. Zis plan is historically unstable and dangerous and I cannot be a combat medic if we all are incinerated before we even enter zee base!”

Danse: “I have to agree with madam Curie here. Brotherhood records show that this plan will likely lead to not only the deaths of your entire unit but also an extremely minor setback to our enemy, probably not delaying their plans in any major way. This was irresponsible, Sentinel. I’m extremely disappointed.

Gage: “Nicky, I don’t know why you’re chewin her out like that! That is a tactically sound plan. My boys use it literally all the time.

Hancock: “Sister, you know how much I love chems. Jet, Psycho, Mentats, everything. But even I know when the time to not use them is. If you really need to do important shit, you better put the box away until after you’re done. You gotta think straight, man! Your head’s all fucked up.”

Longfellow: “You got high for a meeting? How does that help anything? You gotta get drunk for a meeting! Come on. This is like…being alive 101. Maybe you should go pour yourself a bath. It does smell kinda fishy in here anyway..”

MacCready: “Look lady, the gunners aren’t exactly known for their amazing tactics and even I could tell you that that plan sucks. Maybe you deserve to be chewed out by Nick. Really, you gotta do better.”

Nick Valentine: Angry Dad Staring

[womenofwonder]

Option on RWBY ships:

Btw, I don’t usually ship characters. Romance is usually the least interesting part of the story for me so expect a lot of meh.

Arkos: obviously I love this, it’s perfect

Blacksun: ehh, it’s cute. I started out feeling kinda meh, it was sweet but not really interesting, but now it’s growing on me. Ironically the same thing is happening with Bumblebee, although I still like Blake and Yang better platonically

Bunanas: so this is a ship between Velvet and Sun, and it’s honestly really cute to imagine even if it is completely random. I like it better then Blacksun…I think?

Candy Cane: this is just weird. I can’t imagine Nora being anything but a older sister to Oscar. The age gap makes it creepy too, not the four years is much of a gap, but when your teenagers it’s a big gap.

Chocolate Arc: this is hilarious to imagine but obviously yeah, Coco isn’t going to fall for someone like Jaune

Cinnabun: I barely know anything about Yatsuhashi but he and Velvet are cute, I guess? Still like her better with Sun

ClockRose: heck no!

Coconuts: again, can’t see Sun doing anything but annoying Coco. I really don’t like the whole ‘badass jerk of a girl falls for goof ball trope.’ It always ends up feeling sexist in several ways

Combat Boots: honestly outside of an AU I can’t see Yang ever forgiving Mercury much less falling in love with him. Also Mercury just doesn’t deserve her

Combat goggles: I feel like Yang and Neptune would have fun causally dating each other and slowly realizing they actually like (Blake/Sun/Jaune/whoever) and become each other’s wingmen. That fanfic better be lying around somewhere

Crimson Lotus: okay, if I didn’t love Renora and Rosegarden so much I’d probably ship this. It’s really cute

Crimson Sun: this feels like an excuse to write lemons of the two hottest characters

Crimson wings: look I understand most of the shipping heroes with villains because they’re both hot and the villain/hero dynamic is always fun. But Cardin…he’s not even hot. He’s not even interesting. And yet people ship him with Ruby? Why?

Daddie Issues: you know I see where this is coming from but they would just end up murdering each other.

Dairy Farm: obviously this is downright creepy in cannon, but in an au where Neo isn’t evil and both are closer in age, this would be adorable. I feel like Neo’s main problem is she’s incredibly lonely—other then Roman no one bothers to understand or talk to her. If Oscar reached out to her, and she began to protect him…it would be perfect. In way even better then Rosegarden because I think Neo would still be a bit of pycho even when good, and it would be fun to see her lose it when Salem hurts him.

Ilia/Adam: I just want to say I am forever grateful the show went out of its way to avoid this obnoxious, cliche ship from being canon

Dragon slayer: I see why people ship Jaune and Yang, I really do. They’re both the team mom/dad of their team, they’ve got the whole goofball/badass thing going (which is a trope I do like when the badass isn’t a jerk), they both have a good sense of humor, etc. But I just can’t see them as romantic. It feels really weird. I can’t even explain why. I understand shipping them but I really can’t ship them myself.

Emercury: I really love this ship, but I also don’t mind at all if the show decides to make them platonic. I enjoy their relationship in general and it works either way.

Oscar/Emerald: again, feel creepy. I love the idea of a sibling relationship and can’t see them possibly being romantic even without the age gape.

Cinder/Qrow: yeah again. Both are sexy and good for angsty lemons. I’m not into that stuff so I don’t ship them

Fall Stinger: I just don’t know why anyone would ship Tyrian with anyone. Unless it was Salem and even that is super creepy

Firerobber: I like villain relationships but Roman already has Neo and Cinder is a hot mess. Literally

Firewall: I don’t know why anyone would ship Watts with anyone. He’s even worst less ship-able then Tyrian

Footloose: I don’t actually ship it but just imagine Mercury and Melanie bonding over weaponized feet.

Freckles: Yeah this is just painful. The two most adorable characters (Penny and Oscar), who go through the worst things imaginable. It’s endless fluff, angst, and whump, and I love cute romance and tragic romances, so this is definitely something I ship.

Frostbite: seriously, this is so weird and toxic. Having Adam fall for Weiss or vice versa. Maybe it would work in an AU or something but it’s just too creepy

Funky Beats: it’s cute, I ship it.

Gelato: yeah I love healthy villainous relationships! Neo and Roman are freaking adorable, and I’m sad that we didn’t see more of them together.

Grandmasters: I obviously don’t ship Salem and Ozpin because that’s just creepy, but I do like their romance. I like tragic romances, and this probably the most tragic one in existence

Greek Lotus: I don’t see the chemistry and crashes two of my favorite ships so…

Green Knight: well, she kinda helped kill his last girlfriend so…unless it’s AU this isn’t going to work. Even if it is an AU. This feels like another ship made solely for lemons

Velvet/Cardin: yeah, a bigot changing his mind when he falls in love with a minority isn’t cute. Isn’t sweet. It isn’t romantic. I don’t even excuse lemons that use this trope. Even porn ought to be above that

Weiss/Cardin: WOULD EVERYONE STOP SHIPPING CARDIN WITH PEOPLE

Hummingbird: it’s hard to ship something when you only know one character, but I was interested in the theory that Qrow was actually Ruby’s father. But then in season 7 Qrow’s description of Summer made me rethink it, and it didn’t sound anything like how you’d describe a romantic relationship. So I don’t really like that theory anymore

Iceberg: this is just cliche and boring. I get them dating but it wouldn’t last that long

Flynt/Weiss: I really love this one, it’s my favorite ship with Weiss. I don’t want it to actually happened in cannon because that would be random, but I feel like it would be fun for both their characters. And they both share an interest in music. I’m imagining an AU where he gets her into jazz and she starts singing it at all her concerts to the horror of Jaques.

Iron Maiden: honestly what. Why. Gross

Iron witch: well I definitely see why people like it. I actually wouldn’t mind it being cannon, It’d be a good combination of funny/tragic and I’d like to see Glynda mentoring Winter

Jailbirds: this just feels forced and also Qrow is probably too old for her. I like their relationship and don’t want it to be romantic

Knight fall: lemon ship. Moving on

Knight Life: I feel like Jaune just gets shipped with everyone but this is cute I guess

Lancaster: it’s cute, but I can’t ship it because it feels cliche. I was worried that Jaune was going to be her love interest when they first met and was relieved to see him with Pyrrha instead. It just feels forced and boring to have him end up with Ruby

Pyrrha/Mercury: this really popular for some unfathomable reason. I like Mercury but Pyrrha deserves better

Marrowgold (May/Marrow): I just don’t see it

Nikong: Pyrrha and Sun would be cute together, but I don’t really love this ship. It’s kinda meh.

Nora’s Arc: no. Just no. It technically would work but their platonic relationship is way too good to lose

Old Silver: this is Maria/Pietro, and I think it’s adorable. They both strike me as really flirty for their ages and both are very good mentors. They can be the crazy grandparents of the team

Ozglyn: just don’t see it

Phoenix: yeah Raven was a horrible girlfriend/wife. I don’t ship her Taiyang

QuickSilver: Ruby deserves better than Mercury.

Rehab (Qrow/Glynda): the fact that this is called rehab explains why I don’t ship it

ReNora: yeah, this is probably my favorite ship. I don’t think I have to explain why.

Robotic Knight: I briefly shipped this but now disagree

Rosegarden: I really love Rosegarden, they’re just too adorable together, though the whole Ozpin does make it a little awkward

Rosewick: I can’t see this happening, even in an AU

Coco/Fox: I don’t know enough about Fox to really ship them, but the fact that Coco canonically slaps his butt during battle definitely makes me want to

Mercury/Neo: I could see this working. It would be pretty cute

Silent Knight: again, it would have to be an AU and even then I don’t see it working

Snowbird: so at first I really liked the idea of Qrow and Winter being ex’s, but now that I think about it he has to be at least twenty years older then her. Also, I have to say that while they have chemistry I think they would just end up killing each other

Speakeasy (Flynt/Coco): I got to say I like this ship and could see them having a lot of chemistry together

Strawbanna: I just can’t see Ruby and Sun together. It feels weird

Sunflakes: Can’t see it working

Sunflowyr (Ren/Yang): don’t see any chemistry. Again this just seems random

Tauradonna: this is obviously as toxic as you get.

The Hunt (Cardin/Blake): stop shipping Cardin with anyone!

Mercury/Cinder: Mercury is way too young, and even if he wasn’t this would be really weird. Also Cinder makes him look like a stable, peaceful person, so also no.

Toxic Petals: I swear I’m done with this. No more Cardin, Tyrian, or Watts ships. They too gross

Velveteen Knight: Aw, they’d be cute together

White Knight: I really hate this ship. It’s so obnoxious and boring, and nearly falls into the jerky badass/goofball trope I hate

Winter Soldier: ew, no, Ironwood is like her dad

Wise Dragon: anyone care to explain why this is so popular? Sage barely has any character to him, I can’t ship him with anyone

Yellow rose: Yeah, I kinda ship this, but again, it’s difficult when you barely know one character

IronQrow: I understand why you would ship this but I just don’t see it. Guys can hug without being gay you know

Martial arts: why?

Noah’s Arc: why?

Sea Monkeys: again I understand why you could ship it but I don’t. They’re obviously just friends to me

Shovel Knight: like most Oscar ships it feels weird. Jaune is obviously a big brother to him

TaiQrow: As funny as it is for Tai to sleep with every member of his team, I don’t ship it.

Fair game: I really can’t stand Clover so again, don’t ship it

Achilles heel: Cinder literally kills Pyrrha, why would you ship them?

Baked Alaska: lemon ship

Black glass: annnd, another lemon ship.

Blood Mint: yeah I don’t see Emerald and Ruby ever being a couple

Catmelon: I found Ilia’s crush on Blake kinda cringy and I can’t see them being a couple

ColdMurder (Weiss/Cinder): even in an au I don’t see it working

Cold Steel (Penny/Winter) eeewww, they’re practically sisters

Cream Machine (Neo/Penny): I mean…if she wasn’t evil…and wasn’t so much older…it might work? Maybe?

Crosshares: cute but I feel like Velvet is too much of a doormat for Coco

Digital Clock: Ciel obviously didn’t care much for Penny, and she was barely a character at all. I don’t see it

Pyrrha/Nora: don’t see it, and also can’t stand the idea of breaking up the two best ships

Falling Petals: I get that Cinder is hot, but can we stop shipping her with the kids she’s trying to murder? Because I can see several things wrong with that

Freezerburn: again, for no reason that I can think of this ship just doesn’t work for me. Much like Dragonslayer it just feels weird

Gingersnaps (Penny/Nora): that would be chaotic. I can’t really see them romantically though like most Penny ships it would be cute

Guilty Conscience (Bree/Winter): oh please no. They really don’t have any reason to be together

Ladybug: I just can’t see Blake with Ruby at all. Blake feels way to old even though she’s only older by two years.

Milk and Cereal (Ruby and Pyrrha): I guess it would work but I just don’t any chemistry

Mint chocolate (Emerald/Coco): if Coco managed to forgive her for everything that happened at Beacon I could maybe see this happening. There is some chemistry

Mommy issues: Nah, can’t see this working out.

Monochrome: Blake and Weiss have never had any romance chemistry despite plenty of opportunity to have it, so again, I see them as strictly platonic and shipping them feels almost like incest. I know that doesn’t make sense

Nordic Winter: I can’t see Weiss handling Penny, but again, any Penny ship is pretty cute

Nuts and Dolts: I would ship, but I like them together platonically too well. Definitely understand the ship, though I find it funny that Ruby, who insist she likes weapons better then people, would fall in love with a personified weapon. I know that’s probably racist against robots

Overheating (Penny/Cinder): I take back what I said about every Penny ship being cute

PennyWeiss: but this one is pretty cute

Pink Lemonade: can you imagine the chaos of Yang and Nora dating each other? They both need someone with a cooler head to keep them in check

Scheenoks: with Weiss’s fangirling I can definitely see were this is coming from, but Weiss is too mean for Pyrrha

Steadfast: I really don’t ship any of the ace-ops with anyone. I found them all boring and annoying except for Marrow

Strawberry Shortcake (Neo/Ruby): not seeing it

Sugar Rush (Ruby/Nora): Again, too much chaos. They both need chill partners. And I love Rosegarden and ReNora too much

Thunder cat (Blake/Nora): don’t see any chemistry between them

WhiteRose: I can see why this is shipped and I don’t dislike WhiteRose shippers. I just prefer Rosegarden, and find Weiss and Ruby working better together romantically

Bumblebee: again, I see this working better platonically, not romantically. It kind of annoyed me at first, but it is growing on me, much like Blacksun. I still like Blacksun better though

Enabler: No.

[geenawrites]

'Black Widow' and undermining Dramatic Intent (II)

[PART ONE]

The 'Civil War' Effect

4): Elements that could’ve made Black Widow Natasha's personal journey are reduced to quick conversational bites told to Natasha instead of experienced by Natasha and the audience first hand.

The film could've built the story around her family selling her off to the government (on some eugenics mess). It could've set the stage for the subplot regarding her mother’s search for her until she was murdered, and Natasha trying to learn about her past pre-assassin.

For all the moments where we simply see her on her own, a lot of that alone time isn't used to explore how she feels, what she's thinking, or a personal throughline. It's just a montage of her looking gloomy and wearing comfy sweatshirts.

The only time Natasha truly feels like she is the emotional center of the movie is the opening act of the film. There, she’s portrayed by Ever (Gabo) Anderson and not Scarlett Johansson.

And as a film touted-as a vehicle for Johansson, that is bad. But also underlines why Florence Pugh’s Yelena was considered the real protagonist of the movie.

Black Widow could've been about Natasha wanting to reclaim her past from the Red Room (her abductors) because she reunites with her sister and parents (her surrogate family), and needed to finally deal with the consequences of killing Antonia (her ghost).

Instead, Black Widow is really Yelena’s story and emotional journey. Yelena justifies the presence of Alexei and Melina more-so than anything in Natasha’s history. As centered as Natasha was in the prologue, it works more as a establishing point for Yelena versus something like Natasha’s lost family or working with Clint Barton in Budapest.

Yelena being tasked to save the Widows (by the elder Widow who created the mind control cure), killing Dreykov, and destroying the Red Room are immediate issues that directly impact her arc and development as a character. Natasha is largely along for the ride, bringing Yelena where she needs to be in each act.

Natasha isn't as centered in her own her film as she should be. Simply compare the structure of her story to the structure in the Captain America (x2), Ant Man (x2), Thor (x3), and Iron Man (x3) films, and how those narratives focus on Steve Rogers, Scott Lang, Thor Odinson, and Tony Stark. Those films are about their emotional journeys while maintaining a healthy supporting cast that don't overshadow them.

Black Widow in comparison feels more like Captain America: Civil War, which is more of an Avengers film than it is a Captain America story. The emotional center of Civil War is Tony Stark and Zemo. Steve and his cast are simply underpinning Stark and Zemo's arcs. It also tries to introduce a new character (Black Panther) with the exact same story beat (revenge) as Stark and Zemo, and a MCU-wide subplot (Sakovia Accords) that ultimately goes nowhere later on.

The consequences of Civil War "Avengering" a solo film are on display in Black Widow in a big way. It's introducing new characters, and trying to tackle a trilogy's worth of storylines (the Red Room, Budapest, the Widow family, Civil War-fallout).

She doesn't even get a decent postmortem send off. The post credits, wherein Yelena mourns Natasha, is turned into a comedic skit and a teaser for the Hawkeye series. It's not allowed to remain a moment of mourning between two sisters separated by literal death.

As an Executive Producer of the film, I know this was not lost on Johansson. She might be an awful person, but she doesn’t strike me as someone so unaware of her environment that she set the stage to be undermined by her co-star. No, I think, given the timing, Johansson knew this was always going to be about setting up her successor.

Wrong Time, Wrong Place

Choosing to set Black Widow after Civil War was just a poor choice on Marvel’s part. Natasha circa 2016 has more or less come-to-terms with her history as a state-sponsored assassin for both Russia and the United States. Her arc as seen throughout the Avengers and Captain America films has come full circle following the events of The Winter Soldier. Now all she has left going forward is the arc dealing with Thanos' genocide and resurrecting everyone.

There is nothing to mine in terms of personal character drama because, at this point, she has laid it all to rest. It's nothing that torments her akin to Bucky trying to square away with his past as an amnesiac assassin.

All of Natasha’s threads are focused on the break-up of the Avengers. At first, seemed like her arc was going to be about not falling back into bad habits (being mistrustful of everyone). That it was going to deal with how she felt let down by the team (after trying to be the reasonable party among everyone), but the film doesn't really commit.

After that one conversation in Budapest, "getting the Avengers back together" isn't even a focal point. We just get awkward callbacks that tell the audience that Natasha isn't on the same level as Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor.

Yelena forgiving her family is used to tack on the sudden parallel idea that Natasha has been convinced she can personally bring the Avengers together again as a surrogate family once things work with her Widow Family.

Again, even in her own film, Natasha is playing the sacrificial matriarch of a Boy’s Club (whose event films she features only as a supporting character. Something I think people are only just realizing). That says to me the MCU never valued her beyond her ties to the male Avenger cast.

”You’re such a mom!” becomes a lot less funny in that context.

If this film was immediately set after The Winter Soldier or even Age of Ultron, wherein all of her history and SHIELD’s was leaked for public record, then there might’ve been a chance for an emotionally resonant story arc.

How would a Natasha scrambling to create new covers, and new ways to protect herself, deal with the sudden public attention of the world knowing that she was a foreign assassin that bought her way into the United States and became a celebrity superhero? How would a post-Winter Soldier solo film deal with Natasha’s past in way that she didn't become overshadowed by her own supporting cast?

How would a post-Age of Ultron solo film handle her past as informed by her nightmare (which stuck closer to her history as a trained dancer in the comics) on top of the events of The Winter Soldier?

But even as a post-Civil War narrative, Black Widow should've really cared to explore how Natasha felt about having to revisit her history with the Red Room, on top of being betrayed by Alexei and Melina. Instead of giving all those emotional beats to Yelena, actually show us Natasha confronting them beyond “it wasn’t real!”

How would the story turn out if parent with the biggest hand in the facilitation of her abuse (Alexei) wasn't turned into a flat comic relief character? What if he actually got chance to really consider her grievances, show remorse for his actions, without being turned into a “ha, ha, he’s do dumb (and fat)!” punchline (after setting him up as the total opposite in the prologue)?

Melina could've been an interesting co-antagonist working with Dreykov, but the film skirts past how she is complicit in the harm that her daughters faced (Yelena especially) with a fake Heel Turn moment that only undermined Dreykov as a threat.

And that’s really the problem with Black Widow. The film, or rather Marvel Studios, doesn’t want to really tackle Natasha’s past or pain like they were willing to do with Steve Rogers in The First Avenger, and The Winter Soldier.

Maybe because that would mean approaching the story with the emotional maturity of The Bourne Identity, a PG-13 film that was plenty violent without being excessive. It was also emotionally resonate by dealing with the fact that Jason Bourne was, pre-amnesia, a US assassin that did awful shit.

Instead we get a plot about mind-control, and magic red dust that can break said mind control (that apparently requires invasive surgery of the brain).

Whedon seemed comfortable with getting close to the actual violence that was asked of Natasha (vs. done to) by the Russian government as a kid. The screenplay for Black Widow can talk past Natasha willingly doing awful things, but doesn’t want to confront that by having her or Yelena deal with an army of assassins who are walking down the same path Natasha did, fighting and killing for another government without any sort of mind control.

This is why Natasha's assassination of “Dreykov’s Daughter” (Antonia) as the thing that happened in Budapest also doesn't land. The movie doesn't want to deal with how Natasha learned to live with murdering a child to buy her freedom into America. They make it so that she didn’t kill her, actually, just gave her a bad case of pizza face. She’s not even the one that pulls the trigger, the film suggests that it was Hawkeye.

Her mustache-twirling villain of a father, who somehow survived the explosion and building collapse with zero burns or broken bones, is the one who does all the truly horrible things to his daughter (turning her into a mindless slave).

The Original Sin that Natasha is defined by is swept under the rug in the same way her history as a killer is blurred by the script. It’s akin to rewriting Xena’s history with Callisto as the killer of her family and village, and deciding, “No, Xena didn’t kill them. They all survived with minor burns! Callisto can now forgive Xena!”

Natasha's Antagonist

Dreykov is a weak antagonist/villain because the screenwriting seems determined to accredit the abuse of the Red Room entirely to him instead of making a systemic issue. What started off as a clandestine organization for the KGB throughout most of the MCU is rewritten in Black Widow as the personal playground of a thinly veiled Harvey Weinstein analogue who puppeteers his personal assassins to do bad things, thus rendering them all innocent of their wrongdoings. It makes them "perfect victims" in way.

(Johansson has gone on record saying that this film was influenced by the #MeToo Movement. Well, celebrification of it, anyway)

Dreykov doesn’t challenge Natasha, or her family. There’s never an immediate danger or stakes being driven by Dreykov. He’s not doing something they have to stop “before time runs out”, he doesn’t have anything on any of the characters that could push their actions.

He takes a backseat to the family hijinks, so the journey to finding and destroying the Red Room has no urgency (Natasha being dead already notwithstanding). As the supposed architect of their misery, he’s about as threatening as Mason (Natasha’s Black Best Friend who buys her things while in hiding).

Dreykov fails like the rest of the MCU’s villains (not named Erik Killmonger) because there's no depth to the character. There's no real loyalty to the character as a demonstration of his power or influence. Again, all his victims are blameless in their violent actions. No one with speaking lines or face time (that isn't a G.I Joe grunt) is working with him because they believe in his goals or ideology.

Complicating that matter is that the script never reveals what his goals or ideologies are besides, "I can create chaos with an army of assassins. I am so evil."

It’s wild to me that so many are rushing to defend the implementation of this sloppily written (and miscast) character because, “he works as a villain because he's a human trafficker” and “he mind controlled his own daughter.”

“He does terrible things”, or a character representing awful things that happen in the real world, isn't enough to make an effective villain. If that was all it took, then 90% the MCU’s villains wouldn’t be so forgetabble.

(He’s not real, I shouldn’t be reading posts like, “he doesn’t deserve screentime b/c he’s an awful human being! He earned his lazy death scene.” Girl, what???)

If you’re gonna tackle human/child trafficking as defined by one antagonist, then really make it part of the story. Make it something that Natasha and Yelena are actively trying to stop. Don’t montage it over a bad Nirvana cover and then shift gears into a G.I. Joe scenario in a floating fortress.

If you're gonna make Dreykov the abuser of so many women, then make it crucial to your protagonist's narrative. Don't add a silly Angry Beavers plot where his stinky musk can control a woman's bodily functions because as a weak analogue to "how men police women's bodies".

Because Natasha has no real conflict with Dreykov, confronting him in the climax goes nowhere. Dreykov is Yelena’s antagonist. It's why Yelena gets to kill him instead of Natasha, so it would've made more sense for her to confront him instead.

The film eventually establishes he's no real threat to Natasha because the writing pulled a Xanatos. The character feels like he exists only so Johansson can sass him, and make a callback to the Loki Interrogation scene (a scene that only worked because of the audience misdirection.)

Dreykov could've been an effective villain if he was anything like the Headmistress characters in the Samee-Waid Black Widow series from 2016.

The Headmistress and Anya (the new Headmistress later on) were characters with emotional connections to Natasha and the Widow children she was trying to save. They taught these girls to believe in the totalitarian philosophy of the ruling class. Natasha and the other Widows couldn't live without them until they were able to escape their influence.

The Headmistresses were women, which makes it plain that women are also perpetrators of abuse. It isn’t just something that men do, which is how this script has approached this subject entirely (Captain Marvel did the same thing as well). Abuse being exclusively a male theater of action.

Antonia's death could've been meaningful in regards to Natasha and Dreykov as characters if Dreykov cared that Antonia was murdered by a Red Room assassin. Natasha admitting that she killed his daughter and regretted it would've made a lot more impact than just having him shrug it off because he's so heartless and so evil.

Or, as other people have said, imagine if it was Antonia who was the antagonist gunning after Natasha because of what she did, not only to her, but her father as well.

It would not only render the mind-control plot pointless, it would re-center the focus on Natasha, and force the writers to do something else with Yelena, Alexei, and Melina (assuming they're even necessary in this scenario). Then, Natasha would have a genuinely threatening antagonist because the stakes are personal on both sides.

It would've been a hellva lot more meaningful than using Taskmasker as a plot-twist (after hyping the character up as the controller of the Red Room and Natasha's personal nemesis).

Callisto’s story as a villain resonates because she cared about what she lost, and Xena knew there was no real forgiveness for what she did to her. Imagine if they approached Natasha’s role in Antonia’s death like that.

(But that's probably asking for too much nuance from Disney and Marvel.)

Conclusions

In story that wants to be about the abused reconciling with their past and family, the film effectively robs the abused of their autonomy by going the extra of mile of making them zombies. In the same way the Star Wars sequel trilogy avoided Finn’s history as an indoctrinated and enslaved Stormtrooper, Black Widow doesn’t want to deal with the ramifications of indoctrination.

How people buy into and protect organizations that strip them of their humanity by making them complicit in violent systems. Oh, sure, they’ll nod and wink at it (as they do with Natasha and Melina’s past), but they won’t go any further than that.

Instead of dealing with how a forced hysterectomy effects Natasha physically and emotionally, we get a joke that isn’t any better than Natasha calling herself a monster, or the “time of the month” joke that got rebuked by the director and the cast.

Instead of reflecting on her time with SHIELD and the United States, the United States is portrayed as "the good-guys who gave her a real family” (ignoring even the half-hearted criticism of the US that The Winter Soldier made), while Russia is still out there doing nefarious Cold War Things and ruining people's families. All of which just feeds into uncritical Russian stereotypes and Red Scare that the film’s foundation is built on.

I enjoyed the film, but the more I think about it, the more I realize Black Widow really does nothing except undermine Natasha's darker elements and self-imposed redemption arc (as written by Whedon).

On top of rewriting key elements about the Red Room (the movies being broken as the comics is a true irony), It minimizes Natasha's violent past to make her into a clean, and boring superhero whose solo film thinks lamp-shading sexism is the same as subverting it.

[thunderheadfred]

🤚Shigaraki HC's🤚

Part 1 of my Shigaraki Thesis HCs. The Second Worst: 1 - 2

This was rough because even though Shigaraki is one of my favorite characters of all time, I have nothing sexy to say about him canonically.

that's a lie, i'm lying. i had to break this post into parts, that's how much of a liar liar pants on fire i am

Warnings for quite possibly everything. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

Okay first of all:

You know it. I know it. We all know it. This man is not boyfriend material. He disintegrates boyfriend material for fun.

You don’t want to date this man.

Frankly, you can’t date this man.

Seriously. Run.

If you’re a villain, you’re his underling. Maybe, if you squint, you’re kind of like his... um... least-hated workplace associate. What do you want, a trophy?

If you’re a hero, good luck not dying horribly. Maybe you’d make a cute hostage. Hope you can escape cuz he is NOT letting you out alive.

If you’re a civilian, perhaps that’s the best case scenario. He stalks you a little before he becomes infamous. You go on the worst date of your life but luckily you don't tell him where you live. Later you see him on the news standing in a pile of rubble and you just think, “ohhhhhhh.”

If he somehow, impossibly, against all odds, manages to develop a single affectionate feeling toward you, AFO is going to hunt you down for sport. You are NOT getting in the way of world domination. Again, good luck with that.

If somehow you managed to clear all those hurdles and kiss Shigaraki Tomura square on the lips, I can see one of two things happening.

1) You’re his body pillow now. Goodbye sunlight. You live in his room. He doesn’t have to chain you to the bed, because you know escape is pointless. Congratulations, the end is nigh.

2) Total mind break. At the first sign of genuine human affection, his trauma vault is instantly unlocked. Memories come rushing in, his quirk goes nuts. There’s like a 99.9% chance he’ll accidentally kill you and it will destroy his soul forever. But let’s say you’re the lucky 0.01% - then it’s time to fuck off together to a foreign country. He’s terrified, traumatized, and possibly broken beyond repair, but I guess he’s not a villain anymore? Have fun nursing him back to... semi-sanity.

Moral of the story: you’re better off getting hit with a quirk that takes you to an alternate universe where the worst thing Shimura Tenko ever did was throw a Playstation controller at his sister’s head. He’s an aspiring video game journalist with zero charisma and severe self-image issues. He has no earthly idea how hot he is. Please, for the love of God, fall for that guy instead.

haha just kidding

join me in hell, fellow Shigaraki fuckers:

- - - - -

Scenario the first:

so apparently you enjoy living in a cage?

Listen. He does not smell right. He doesn’t need to bathe much because his skin is constantly annihilating itself. So he’s not exactly dirty, but every instinct in your body is screaming in confusion, unsure if he’s alive or dead.

Breath of the damned. Sweet as moldy lemons. Whatever he eats just... rots. He doesn't produce enough spit.

He will kiss you very deeply. Until you choke. Forget the cold, chapped lips because they're the least of your problems. He's got those skeleton hands caging your face and you're trapped against a wall and his gigantic biting teeth are prying you open. He licks inside your mouth like he's trying to steal your soul. He'll probably succeed.

His hair is exactly as soft as it looks. Too bad you'll never get to touch it.

He’s either got no sexual impulses at all and will laugh at you for trying, or he’s a full-on incel. I don’t know which one. I don’t want to find out. Apparently you do, and I salute your resolve.

You will be lucky if Shigaraki treats you like a pet. He loves his Nintendo DS more than you.

Consent is not applicable. You showed interest in him once, now you're his plaything forever. There's a power imbalance between you so wide you could chuck a planet in there.

Safewords? lol

Doesn't want to break you, because what would be the point? He's already broken enough things. He wants to keep you around for a good long while. He'll take good, good care of you.

Unless you disobey.

Obsessed with making you cum whether you want to or not. Yes, this IS a high score thing. It's just so flattering. Say hello, orgasm torture. Was that another one? Aww. You barely moved. Oh, what's that? You're begging him to stop? Haha. He won't.

Don't cry. He'll drink your tears.

He'll touch you everywhere with bare fingers. Slow, feather-light strokes, like some kind of demented ASMR artist. This is not a trust exercise. He knows exactly how much it terrifies you.

Oh yeah. You're getting finger FUCKED. Do you fantasize about having a loaded gun shoved inside you? Same difference.

Will eat you out like nothing else, but not in bed. That's the kind of shit he does on a boardroom table where anybody could walk in and see you writhing. Spreads you WIDE open and sucks on you. Makes out with your asshole. The whole nine yards. It's wet and loud and nasty.

Only time you're out of his sight (and not locked in your room) is when he shoves a remote control vibrator where the sun doesn't shine. Operates it through an app while he calls you and jerks off. Wants to make your knees fail on a crowded train.

Come here. You get to sit on his lap like a dog. Four fingers on your throat, dick hard under your ass. He'll dry hump you in front of God, the Devil, and everyone else.

If he's playing video games, you're cock-warming. He does not care which hole. He won't even look at you.

He might get hard but he does not get naked. You do not know Shigaraki Tomura on a personal level. You have only the vaguest idea what his dick looks like. It feels long and thin, almost sharp. Maybe he's actually been fucking you with an ice pick this whole time. His hip bones dig into you and bruise. He likes to kiss and bite the marks he leaves.

He mocks you for being so fucking pathetic. Have you always been a such a needy slut or is he really that special? What is wrong with you? Even he thinks you're crazy.

Shigaraki won't kill you, but All For One will.

- - - - -

The Second Worst Scenario:

The half-mad ghost of Shimura Tenko is in love with you, and your life is about to become a tragic wreck.

(this half of the post went completely off the rails and turned into like... a whole-ass Victorian Novel)

[whump-a-la-mode]

Would you continue the villain nausea whumpee? To show how he is after he is removed from the chair? Do they set him free since he won’t be violent anymore ?

I loved the idea of Villain being set free, and ran with it a bit! I hope you enjoy! Thank you so much for the ask!!

This is a continuation from here, and, once again, the story below is below a read-more to prevent any accidental viewing of content that could trigger emetophobia very badly. I would hate for anyone to see it as they scroll past.

However, this time, the first scene is shown, as it contains no potentially triggering content.

CW//Emetophobia, graphic description of vomit, self-hatred, medical malpractice, low self esteem, hatred of former friends, Stockholm syndrome, whumpee liking whumper, minor eye whump mention, nausea

The auditorium crackled with the feedback of a thousand microphones, shoved towards the stage, frequencies battling and screeching against one another in chaotic choir. From a mass of bodies, of cameras and clattering boom mics, the wire spheres emerged in their dozens, all pointed centrally.

All pointed at the stage, and the podium that lived upon it, glistening in freshly-polished hardwood and media attention.

Behind the platform stood a figure, as equally basking in fame, and equally as glimmering. Upon their face, perfect white teeth glowed as freshly-fallen snow, pressed together in a wide grin.

In Hero’s eyes, it was pride that shone. The pride that came with accomplishment, with recognition, with glory, with perfect hair and thousand-dollar suits and the attention of the world, all upon their face. Their words.

“Thank you, everyone, for being here.” With a greeting alone, the world tucked back in hushed quiet. “Now, we will have plenty of time for questions later, but I wanted to start off with what has surely found itself on every headline this morning.”

A pause. The expected clamor erupted from the horde of media, incoherent shouting and stomping. A rioting crowd.

“Now, now.” It was a practiced ritual, between lion and tamer. “I will be taking all of your questions at the end, but let an old guy speak a little, first.”

Laughter queued.

“Well, then. I’m sure you’ve all seen the headlines-- you guys especially, you wrote them! But, for everyone at home, yes, the rumors are true. A villain is now loose in the city.”

A practiced gasp.

“And it’s a good thing! You see, for years, now, our in-house villainous psychology research has been working on a technique that they have dubbed Reaction-Based Morality Rehabilitation. Now, I’ll let you in on a little secret.”

The hero leaned forward, hand cupping the microphone, playful smile clear upon their face.

“They gave me this paper, and it was like, 100 pages long. And I didn’t know half the words in it.” They backed up, smile remaining. “But, trust me when I say, those guys in R&D? They’re amazing. They know exactly what they’re doing, even if I don’t.

But, I won’t leave you hanging. I do understand the just of the procedure, even if I’m not so sure on the jargon.

It’s a very simple solution to a very complicated problem. I am a firm believer in the fact that people are not born as villains. We are all born as heroes. Some of us, through unfortunate means, however, turn rotten. Through this technique, however, me and Organization believe to have found a way to separate the villain from the person inside.

By using innovative methods of therapy, our psychologists are able to help villains reject their evil ways, all the way at the center of their neurology! We have heard many concerns about the possibility of relapses, of a villain turning sides upon their release. Yet, with this technique, changing sides is not a conscious choice. It is as much a thought process as it is a carefully embedded instinct.

Of course.” They straightened momentarily. “That does not mean we are simply allowing once of those who have harmed you return to our beautiful city unsupervised. We ensure you, multiple surveillance methods have been put in place. This is only a trial run.

We at Organization wish to think each and every one for your cooperation and participating in the beta test of this revolutionary new technique. If this run receives positive results, you can all think of villainy as a thing of the past!”

From the crowd emerged a cheer. A cheer for glory, for fame, for progress!

For the destruction of a foe.

For unquestioned success. A villain defeated!

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

Villain’s fingers brushed over the top of the kitchen’s oak-stained counter, kicking up enough dust to suffocate, even as their tightly pursed lips protected them from such.

This was a house.

Their fatigued, half-haunted gaze turned to move over the surrounding interior. The kitchen was fully-featured, oak accented with shimmering, mottled granite. Not that anyone had bothered to clean in the place. Beyond the room and its attached dining area, a step lower, a carpeted area was positioned, furnished in felt couches and a television.

But this was not a home.

With a scratching nail to their neck, the villain moved forward numbly, to the base of the stairs and up them. Beneath their skin, the tracking chip was an awful feeling. Buried just deep beneath that it could not be seen, yet shallow to the point that its presence was unyielding and unignorable. A constant itch, embedded between twitching folds of muscle.

Maybe they could take it out. Maybe with the right kitchen utensil-

Halfway up the stairs, they dropped, keeled over themself with sickly pea soup filling in the space behind their eyes. In an instant, their mind retreated desperately from the thought, or any semblance of it, even as their stomach heaved with the residual ghost of it.

The tracking chip was fine and they didn’t care about it and they wanted it to stay there forever because it wasn’t coming out.

Legs now taking on an appearance that ever so slightly more resembled gelatin, the villain leaned upon the railing, ascending with a considerable additional difficulty up the stairs. In the very brief tour they had been given, their bedroom had been identified as the dark spruce door at the hall’s end.

Moving to it was a struggle on its own, insides still twitching and squelching with the remnants of acute nausea. Yet, their agony was only internal. They made it, and, all the way, kept their mind empty. Thoughts clear.

Not thinking of anything that could make them fall.

The bedroom was a bedroom. A dust-coated vanity. A small attached restroom. A nightstand. A bed.

At the very least, the quilts had some color to them.

Struggling in an attempt not to clutch their own stomach-- an action that they had learned, time and time again, only made the organ flip-- Villain shuffled to the piece of furniture that had been designed for use when they slept. Dust coughed from beneath the covers as they lifted them, crawling under.

Laying down helped, at least in some slight way that may or may not have been a placebo. It meant they could close their eyes. Make unwise thoughts that much less likely to happen.

For a moment, Villain succeeded in blackness. A blank mind. A world unmarred by the horrible jolts within their brain, the firings of neurons, the innate jostling of their frontal cortex.

Yet, it only lasted a moment.

With a jerk, they curled to a fetal position, legs bent and tucked beneath arms. Their body struggled as though weeping, though they had long ago learned not to cry. It was terribly difficult to produce tears, after all, when the metal drew their eyes to unbroken wakefulness.

This was a nightmare. They were certain of it.

That had been their first thought, of course, when the news of their liberation had been shared with them-- after it had been shared with the wider public. Things did not reach their cell very quickly. They had believed it to be a dream, for there was no other possible explanation.

Villains did not deserve freedom. They knew that. Violent little scumbags.

When they had been driven to the house, that was when the orinique connotations in their mind had flipped-- when dream turned to nightmare.

It was their home. Such had been stated clearly, so many times. Upon a thousand channels of media syndication. They had been given the keys, had stared at them for an agonizing moment. Watched them dangle between their fingers.

Hero had practically had to shove them through the doors, and even so, their attempts at escape ceased only after the fourth time they had been reprimanded for them.

Somewhere, something mechanical twitched. Moved. Buzzed. One of the cameras. They knew they were here, obvious, blocky, black eyes. At the very least, they provided some semblance of comfort.

Of home.

Of safety.

Oh, how desperately Villain wanted to go home. Everything had made so much sense there! Was so fantastically, wonderfully simple! If they were placed in their cell, they stayed in their cell. If offered food, they ate. When seated in their chair, they watched.

It was so easy. So invariable. Strict and stringently controlled, as the life of any vile beast who called themself a villain should be. Not a chance they could make a mistake, that they could do anything wrong. Only the slightest opportunities for their mind to slip, their thoughts to wander, to go somewhere bad.

Somewhere that would send them to their hands and knees, heaving and retching.

Food came often, with how difficult it was to keep it down. They’d counted once. Certainly the chefs must have become tired after preparing thirteens meals in a single day. Yet, in the end, they had only managed to fully digest one.

Especially since that was only the day on which they had counted-- it certainly wasn’t notable.

Now, there were no chefs. No cells. No chairs. No screens to watch. Order was gone, and chaos reigned.

Terrible, bloody chaos.

The house was far too large. So many times, Villain had begged for a schedule. For orders. For what they were meant to do-- when to get up, when to go to sleep, what to do inbetween.

Yet, the answers always came the same: A shrug, and four terrible words. “Whatever you want to.”

That which they wanted was not that which should be carried out! They were a villain! A terrible, retched thing! A monster! A devil! Their thoughts deserved no attention, their wants deserved only the click of the IV.

The sickness.

Somehow, despite the inherent maleficence that it most certainly carried with it, an idea manged to work its way through the folds of their brain. A thought. A plan.

A good one. One that did not incite their stomach to heaving.

Certainly, if they laid here, in this bed, then their freedom could not lead to the harm of anyone else. The world would remain safe, regardless of their liberty. And, when the cameras at last noticed, the heroes would be forced to return. To bring them back to the cell and the chair. To return them to where they belonged.

It was perfect-- though that wasn’t to say that anything they created could possibly be good.

Thus, they put the plan into action. Beneath the chains that were covers, upon the chair that was a bed, Villain waited.

Their plan worked for perhaps an hour.

An hour. Then the door was kicked in. This time, that which seized their chest had nothing to do with nausea, nothing to do with conditioning. Everything to do with terror.

Even their wildest dreams, their most optimistic ambitions, did not expect that the heroes would have come so soon. If they had, they would have knocked.

They curled tighter into their fetal position, fingers gripping skin until both turned white. Desperation and willpower, even together, could not stop their mind from tracking the noises as they moved through the house. Through the kitchen. The living room. Up the stairs. To the hallway outside.

Certainly, they would have noticed the lack of dust on the bedroom’s doorknob.

Perhaps it was a member of the public, come to take their righteous revenge. Such would certainly be deserved. Or, perhaps, a wayward hero, disliking the arrangement that had been made. Having decided to take the matter to their own hands. They deserved that, as well.

But, when the voice came, Villain knew that their hopes were as far as could be from the truth.

“Villain?”

Blank mind. Don’t think. Blank mind. Don’t think. Blank mind don’t think.

Beneath the blanket, they twitched.

“Oh, thank goodness.” Footsteps dashed to the bedside. Hands upon them. There was such a wholehearted relief to the voice, an unimaginable burden relieved.

Yet, such was impossible, as villains did not have hearts.

“We were so worried, so, so worried. You have no idea! Come on, come on.”

A hand, to the top of the blanket.

“There’s about a thousand cameras in here, buddy, so we need to get going. Everyone at base has been so nervous, all day. Ever since we heard... My car’s just outside, we need to go, quick.”

Villain’s only solace was torn away.

“Buddy? What’s wrong?” The voice was practically a whisper. “It’s me. It’s-

Supervillain.”

A blank mind, filled with thoughts.

The initial strike of nausea was enough to make them wail, even as they had no ability to. They hardly remembered getting to their hands and knees, hardly remembered as they began to heave. No. They registered only the horrid, green-and-brown mess that exploded upon the pale white bedspread.

Again, again, a thousand exhausting times, the heaving struck them, until chunky vomit was spilling off the side of the bed, ruining the antique carpeting. It only ceased to spill when their insides were well and truly empty.

That was when they were picked up.

It was a caring, warm hold, tucking them close to the chest of a vile demon. Yet, they had not the slightest ounce of energy to resist. Any muscles not exhausted by fatigue went back to work, heaving and coughing, even as nothing more emerged.

“I’m sorry.” With a broken voice, Supervillain spoke. “I’m so, so sorry. Let’s go back to base, okay? Everything’s going to be okay, I promise, I promise, buddy.”

No.

With evil like this in the world, nothing was even going to be okay again.

[all-the-dabihawks]

Quills - Chapter 3

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Pairing: Dabihawks

Format: RP

Length: Way too long (multiple chaps 100k+)

Warnings: enemies to lovers, eventual smut, eventual happy ending, multichap, hawks acting like a bird, dabi being a shit, hawks being a shit, hawks has a spring season, smut 18+ minors dni, eventual spoilers, hurt/comfort, the commission is evil

Summary: Hawks’ new mission is to join the LOV. Dabi’s not an idiot. Until he is.

🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶🪶

Hawks stares down at the book curiously. It's gonna be boring and dry and full of crap. And Dabi's made it very clear that he'd better read every word. There go his precious days off.

"Yeah sure. Whatever you say." He'll do it. Because he has to. Maybe he can pull some files from the commission on the group. At least then he can play it on audio.

He leans back against the desk as Dabi flops down, opening the book and paging through it. Dry dry dry. There aren't even any pictures.

Hawks looks up at the villain, affecting a bored look. "You could've just brought this outside." he points out. Does Dabi expect him to stay? Downstairs? Probably not, it sounded like all bluster before. "Or was all this just to get me into your room?" He cocks a brow at the arsonist.

Dabi drops his hand, resting it on his chest, and turns his head to fix Hawks with a bored gaze. “You wish.” He snakes his other arm under his head.

“I’m not a fuckin’ delivery boy. Besides, there’s no point in pretending that we trust each other in the slightest. Think of me bringing you here as an olive branch. Reachin’ across the table, extending some semblance of trust out there. We’re gonna be working together pretty closely from here on out, and I’d rather not have a sword at my throat and a flame in my hand.”

He turns his head to stare up at the ceiling again. “And, I figured if you saw everyone as they are now, you’d get a chance to see that they’re all just people who are down on their luck. Call them fanatics, or whatever you want, but they’re just scrambling for something to believe in and a way out of their own suffering. I don’t know what you want from all this, and I don’t give a shit. But I know you don’t have passion for this project. You’re so detached from what life is like for us, I doubt you even viewed us as people before you walked in here.”

-

That's not entirely true. Hawks looks away. He can relate to these people in a strange way. Villains. They're villains. They're not civilians, he needs to stop thinking of them like that. Villains have never been an abstract to Hawks. They've always been painfully real.

He shrugs, feigning nonchalance. Dabi doesn't need to know any of that. No one knows any of that, other than the commission. But they'd still plucked him off the street, made him a hero.

"You make a lot of assumptions for someone who doesn't know a thing about me." He says it with a smirk, but somehow it feels like it falls flat in the almost empty room. No one is born a hero.

He toes at some invisible dirt on the floor. "I really doubt there's any semblance of trust here." Hawks returns. "And seeing your little base isn't gonna change that."

-

“I make a lot of assumptions because I know what heroes are like.” He sits up again, shooting Hawks a piercing look, “How do you think I got these?” He runs a thumb over the seams on his face, where the scarred skin was sewn to healthy skin and held together with staples. “I don’t need to know anything about you. Heroes are all the fuckin’ same. Selfish. Conceited. At least a monster like me is open about the fact I don’t give a shit about anyone but myself. You would never admit that, though. You wanna sit on your high horse and pretend like you’re a good person. But we both know the truth. You’ve done horrible things before, haven’t you? Bet you have a lot of skeletons in your closet. Have you killed anyone? Hurt anyone? Justified it as necessary? Had it all covered up for you so the public can continue to sing their praises and adore you?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer to his rhetorical question before scoffing and lying back down. “That’s enough for me to draw all kinds of assumptions. And no, I don’t trust you. But at least I’m making an effort. More than you can say. What’ve you given me to work with besides dodgy answers and that charming mask you wear for the public?”

-

What the hell planet is he living on? Hawks knows for a fact that heroes work hard. Long patrols, always in the public eye. Always on the hook for damage and injuries and liabilities. And it's not like he models because he has so much free time. It's a part of the job. Being visible. Being a rolemodel. Being what Endeavor was to him as a child. Being a reason for people not to end up like the would be villains downstairs. Being a hero is so much more than just nabbing the bad guy. The role is important. He wouldn't work himself into the ground if he didn't believe that.

But Dabi doesn't know crap. What did he call them? Fanatics. That's all he is. Killing indiscriminately to fuel his ego.

"What do you want?" he queries before he can stop himself. He's authorized to prove himself. Hasn't he done that already? "Almost getting killed for your little show wasn't proof? I'm here aren't I. Alone with a wanted criminal."

-

“You know damn well why that little show was hardly proof. You’re here, sure, but I can’t figure out why, and as far as I’m concerned, you’re here to get Intel and sabotage us. So no, you haven’t given me shit to work with.”

He’s watching him from the corner of his eye, intent on picking up any micro movement, and slight change in expression that might give him away. Nothing. He expected no less. Hawks is a professional, after all.

“I want you to tell me why you’re here. Or, if you don’t want to do that, maybe I’ll believe your dedication if you let me burn proof into your skin. Maybe right on your shoulder where no one will ever see it. Just like a tattoo. Won’t even hurt, my flames are so hot, they’ll burn right through your nerves in a second. Then I could tell the others that you’re one of us for real. What do you say?” Dabi lifts his hand, a small flame igniting from the tip of his index finger like a lighter. He’s not being serious, not in the slightest, but the stone-still expression gives little indication that he’s joking.

-

Seriously? He's wondered if they do some kind of tattoos or something but burning the recruits?

He eyes Dabi suspiciously, deciding a half truth is better than getting burned. And better than the bull crap story the commission told him to use.

"For someone so against heroes you sure don't know a lot about us." Hawks scoffs with a smirk. His eyes are fixed on that flame. It's so shiny he's finding it distracting. "What if I told you something needs to change? That they can't keep working us into the ground then patching us back up just to send us out again?" It's sort of true. "If they didn't have the healing quirks they use I wouldn't be my pretty self anymore." That much is true. He's been injured countless times. Not just in skirmishes but in their brutal training too. Not that he minds though. They did it for his own good, training him to become the hero he is today. They're the only reason he reached his dream. "I'm sick of being controlled and ordered around. I want a world where I can be free. I don't eant to be used anymore." That feels a little too close to the bone. He's the commission's tool and he knows it. But he's doing good right? Saving people? So that makes it alright. When he'd seen this mission he'd baulked at it. Authorized for violence? To sleep with the enemy? To mutilate his body and others to prove his loyalty? His handlers keep telling him the end justifies the means but it doesn't feel that way to Hawks. He wants to be a hero, not someone authorized to be a villain. This wasn't what he'd dreamed of as a child.

-

Dabi was damn good at reading people. The flame continued to dance and flicker on the tip of his finger as he listened and hung onto every word.

To his surprise… Hawks was telling the truth. At least, Dabi believed he was. He raised an eyebrow, trying to make sense of it.

It was a valid reason. And apparently an honest one, too. It wasn’t enough to gain his trust, not even close. But it was something.

“Well, we’re nothing if not free here.“ He watched his own little flame, lost in thought for a moment before grounding himself back to reality. “You gave an inch, I’ll give an inch. Cmere, and I’ll show you something.” He wasn’t sure why he was offering the hero anything. He didn’t owe him jack shit. Dabi was in charge here. But… There was something in his words that felt raw, pained.

No, he didn’t trust Hawks. But what hero society put him through? That was evidently real. Maybe with a little bit of coercion, some suggestions here and there, Hawks could join their cause. And for that to happen… He would have to gain his trust.

-

He blinks when the flame goes out, snapping out of his little shiny trance. Geeze, he's usually better at ignoring his instincts. It must be the stress of the situation. His handler would have noticed, luckily Dabi doesn't.

He crosses over to the bed when Dabi beckons him, relieved that he seems to have passed whatever test the villain was throwing at him. That or he's just getting Hawks in nice and close so he doesn't miss.

"Better not be what I think it is." he quips cockily to cover up the nerves playing in his chest.

-

“No, I’m not whipping my dick out.” Dabi says flatly, sitting up again. His ignites the tip of his finger again, turning it so Hawks can see. The flame glows brighter and brighter until it’s nearly white.

And there’s a sizzle as it begins to burn Dabi’s finger. He puts it out immediately, shaking the pain out of his hand. The smell of burning flesh is wafted into the air at the motion.

Showing was much easier than verbally confessing that his own quirk burns him. What was he supposed to say? ‘My shitty, weak body can’t handle my own quirk’?

He had mom to thank for the body suited for an ice quirk, and dear old dad to thank for the ill fitted fire quirk.

It was a fair bit of intel to share, something personal that Hawks wouldn’t be able to do anything with anyway. The burns never slowed Dabi down in a fight before. His goal was always more important than his self preservation. Either that, or he was just fuckin’ crazy. Probably both.

“And that’s all you get for your little sob story.”

-

The taller man's bluntness never fails to amuse Hawks. He's used to dancing around things with innuendo but Dabi calls him out every time. If he wasn't nervous it'd be hilarious.

The spark of the flame has Hawks riveted when it flares to life again, that is until the smell of burning flesh hits him like a truck. His cocky look is gone in a second, bending into a frown.

"What the hell Dabi? You don't need to burn yourself to prove a point." That's what just happened right? His own flame burned him. He's heard of quirk mismatches before but this is fundamental. Imagine if Endeavor's flames burned him.

He tchs at the villain. "You could have just told me." He looks up at the villain, searching azure eyes. "If it hurts you why do you do it?" The scars suddenly make sense. A sickening kind of sense. He wasn't kidding about the injuries he's sustained training as a hero, he'd fallen many time when his wings were still small. Broken bones. Cut himself learning to control feathers. But those things were because he wasn't good enough, because he needed to try harder, not because his quirk had turned against him.

-

“Would you have believed me if I said it? I’m a man of action, not words. I gave you proof.” His eyes lock with Hawks’, burning turquoise meeting molten gold. He doesn’t back down. He’s not sure what Hawks is hoping to find in his eyes, but he sure as hell won’t offer it easily.

“Because I gotta. If I can’t use my quirk, I’m useless. And I’d rather die than be that. Not planning on a long, happy life anyway. Not for someone like me. Once I get what I want, I don’t give a shit what happens to me.” It’s that ambition that drives everything in him. Eyes on the finish line. Everything else is background noise, unimportant.

“What about you? If being a hero hurts you, why do you do it?” He turns the tables suddenly, repeating the hero’s words back to him. “You don’t have to be used. You could walk away. Do whatever you want. Why bother changing it when you can just leave it behind?”

-

He has this weird impulse to reach for the villain's hand and blow on the burn. He vaguely remembers seeing that somewhere. Maybe in a movie or something. He hates seeing people in pain.

"I'd have believed you." Hawks counters. "Why would you lie about something like that?" Call him naive but there's no gain for Dabi in this, revealing a weakness.

If I can't use my quirk, I'm useless.

Shit. That- it sounds like Dabi is giving voice to a thought he's had too many times himself. He should argue with the villain, remind him that people can get regular jobs, can work in support services. But nothing comes out. Not in the face of his own doubt.

He shrugs when the villain asks him why he doesn't just leave it behind. Dabi wouldn't understand. No one does. All they see is the number two hero, adored by the public, posing on billboards, laughing his way through interviews on the news. "Because the world needs heroes still." He shrugs again. "And I've got nothing else." Shit that sounds too vulnerable. He takes a step back from Dabi, his hand going to the back of his head as he laughs, carefree like there's a camera in his face.

-

Dabi watches him curiously as he backs up. He’s unreadable, for the most part, and the villain hates that he doesn’t have the faintest idea what Hawks could be thinking about.

His answer pulls a smirk from Dabi, and he looks up at the hero through lazy, half-lidded eyes. “You’re a little naive, aren’t you? Cute.” It’s meant to come out as a condescending insult, but Dabi is startled to hear that it lacks the usual harshness it usually has when he’s putting someone down. In an attempt to save it, he adds, “Careful you don’t get eaten up by the wolves. ‘The world needs heroes still’. Tch. That shit’s the hopeful, optimistic outlook that people take advantage of.”

Dabi bounces his knee, unsure of what to say. Sickening naivety aside… Hawks seemed oddly serious for a moment there.

Maybe the two of them weren’t so different.

“Damn, your laugh is annoying. Why are you here still? That book’s not gonna read itself.” The smirk widens into a shit-eating grin. He knows that read will be dull as fuck, and he’s not at all jealous that Hawks is the one who’s gotta memorize it and spread the word.

-

Cute? Hawks blinks at that, his cocky smirk faltering. What the hell? Why the hell is a villain calling him cute? His fourteen year old fangirls call him cute. Not grown ass men.

He chuckles. "Told you my charm works every time. Don't go falling for me, hotstuff." He shrugs though when the arsonist continues, tucking his free hand in his pocket so he can't fidget. Another bad habit.

Seems like it's a habit Dabi has too though, Hawks' gaze flicks down to catch his leg bouncing. His smirk returns full blast. Oh. He's embarassed is he? The hero is not at all surprised when the next thing out of Dabi's mouth is to tell him to leave. Ah but he wants to be a shit and push his luck~

"Aww~" He takes a step closer to the bed. "Thought maybe you'd read it to me. Y'know, since I'm just so cute and all." He flashes Dabi his trademark grin, if a little toothier than usual. He waves the book at the villain, returning his earlier favor of disrespecting personal space.

-

Dabi cannot believe the fucking audacity of this asshole in front of him. He didn’t— He didn’t mean it like that. But trying to clarify that would only give Hawks the satisfaction of seeing him flustered, stumbling over his own words, and awkwardly backtracking. Like that would ever happen. It was bad enough that he could feel heat rush to his face, cheeks burning with embarrassment. Hopefully, his scars were enough to make it unnoticeable.

He narrows his eyes, increasingly irritated at the book being waved in his face. He couldn’t let Hawks walk out of here thinking he had won whatever game they were playing. And he had a reputation to maintain.

Charming and flirting weren’t his strong suit, but making others uncomfortable was.

Dabi snatched Hawks’ wrist, yanking him forward so he was forced to lean down, before growling into his ear. “Only if you sit on my lap, pretty bird. Careful who you antagonize.”

-

Oh oh. He wants to play this game does he?

When crispy puts his hands on him, suddenly it's not just banter anymore. It's a fucking challenge. One he isn't letting Dabi win.

"Woah there hotstuff~" Hawks coos. "Who said I'd be the one in your lap?" Avian eyes sparkle with challenge, golden dancing. Nice of the other to assume he'd be bottoming.

He leans forward in kind, his mouth almost brushing Dabi's ear. "'sides, gonna be pretty hard for you to concentrate on reading with me so close, don't ya think?" He huffs a breath against the villain's ear for good measure, mirth bubbling in his chest.

-

Heat radiates off of Dabi in waves and a shiver runs up his spine. He’s got some feelings to work through, ones he wasn’t prepared to at this very moment. His face is flushed and hot at the uncomfortable mixture of emotions swirling in his chest. Embarrassment, anxiety, and… Shit. Okay, maybe he’s a little turned on.

But he would rather die than let Hawks know that his heart is racing, that he’s not used to anyone talking to him like this; His ugly mug isn’t exactly everyone’s cup of tea, and his past experiences were all action, no unbearable flirting or teasing.

He knows the hero is just fucking with him, that’s obvious, but he can’t stop the nervousness from clawing at him.

“I would fucking wreck you.”God, he hopes the falter in his voice isn’t that obvious.

A nervous hand tangles itself into Hawks’ hair and yanks his head backwards. His own lack of experience is pissing him off, and he takes it out on Hawks, biting down on his now-exposed neck, hard. It’s not sexy, there’s no sucking to leave a pretty purple bruise. Just a childish way to inflict pain on his antagonizer. “Get the fuck out of my room.”

-

That's a nice reaction. The villain's shiver is followed by a wave of heat and Hawks knows he's won this little game. That is until Dabi speaks.

I would fucking wreck you.

Hawks has to suppress a hard shudder of his own at the tone of Dabi's voice. A threat and a promise and holy fuck he kind of wants to let the villain do it. Where did that come from? Despite his poker face, the hero's wings betray him, arching up over his back to fill the room, Dabi's heat radiating against the flammable feathers.

Before he can get out a reply, and he's not even sure he's capable of one, his head is yanked back and teeth sink into Hawks' neck, canines going deep in a different kind of burn. And fuck him, it feels good. It really shouldn't, it's pure pain, but it does. A little ngh escapes him audibly into the room.

-

Dabi is sure that he got his point across, and he pauses, expectant that Hawks will wriggle away from his grip and run away, but…

But he doesn’t.

The sound that comes out of Hawks is delicious, and it goes right to his cock.

“Oh.” The realization dawns on him when he pulls back to look at Hawks’ face. “You liked that, hmm? A little fuckin’ masochist.”

A low growl rumbles in his chest at the thought, and he goes back in for another bite.

Fuck he wants him. Why does he want him so badly? This hero has been nothing but a headache since the first time they spoke.

He untangles his hand from blond hair, soothing the second bite he left with peppered kisses, and runs his hands downward, mindlessly finding Hawks’ hips and tugging him forward. It gives Hawks the chance to straighten up and either slide into his lap or back up and leave the room.

Dabi’s not sure which he’s more hopeful for.

“Last chance to walk out of here before you really piss me off.”

-

A masochist? He knows what it is, but he has no idea if he is one. His 'experiences' have been few and far between, dictated by the HPSC in the form of women with NDAs presented for his choosing. They've never felt like this before. And after a couple of disatisfying encounters he'd stopped having them back to his penthouse. The commission hadn't offered him men even though they knew. Too much risk to his image.

Hawks is way too slow to offer any kind of biting comment back because by the time he remembers his own name teeth are back at his throat again. The edges of Dabi's canines scrape directly over his nerves, a shiver going through his feathers even though he manages to suppress the one that threatens to move through his frame. He lets out a little involuntary sound, a hand landing on the villain's thigh for balance. He fights to gather up his wits, taken completely by surprise by the arsonist's actions.

The blond staggers back a step only to be pulled forward by the hips. "I don't think you getting pissed off is what's happening here." he manages to get out through clenched teeth as he rights himself with hands on the villain's shoulders. The book falls forgotten on Dabi's thin mattress. He has a choice to make, and fast. He's authorized for this but he'd never intended to follow through with it. One of those lines he'd drawn for himself in the sand. But he'd never expected his contact to be so fucking- provocative. So shoot him if maybe he's sporting a semi and he can already picture himself sliding into Dabi's lap. Why's he giving Hawks an out though? Offering to let him walk? What does that mean? He's a villain for god's sake, shouldn't he just be taking what he wants? And fuck does Hawks want him to. It's just a little too much time for the wing hero to think, to logic himself out of a very impulsive, very speedy decision. He reaches for Dabi's chin, smirk already in place. It's not his fault if his tone is a little husky. "Already told you Dabs, you gotta buy me dinner first." He releases the villain and hops back a step with a beat of his wings. "M'not that easy."

With that he's making a swift exit, not waiting for Dabi's reply. Thank god for baggy flight pants cause the second he dips down the stairs there are dozens of eyes on him again. He doesn't bother walking, making a beeline for the door and cold night air - anything to cool his clouded head.

-

Dabi is almost expecting something to come from this. He was so close to just wrestling Hawks onto the bed and relentlessly fucking him.

But he knew what being taken advantage of felt like. And he wouldn’t put someone else through that. Even if said person was an annoying chicken.

He silently cursed himself for giving Hawks a chance to leave at all when the hero leaned in and teased him before making his speedy escape and leaving Dabi frustrated with a raging hard-on.

Asshole.

Dabi snorted a laugh, shaking his head in utter disbelief. Fuck, he’d make Hawks pay for that eventually.

For now, he had to begrudgingly accept that he had been outplayed. All things considered, it could’ve gone worse.

In minutes, Dabi is back on his bed, eyes closed and hand in his pants. Yeah, definitely could’ve gone worse.

Chapter 4

[itsnothingofinterest]

I’ve often said that it seems like a lot of the main pros below All Might seem to end up representing serious flaws in hero society; specifically the ones on the hero side of things. So as a fun little exercise I thought I’d go over all those main pros and what flaws they represent (should be easy, they’re usually their own personal character flaws). Maybe also give my assessment to what I think their chances of living to the end of the series are while I’m at it, since representing serious flaws in the old guard can be hazardous to your health if treated poorly.

Endeavor

A man who needs no introduction if you’re any kind of HeroAca fan. love or hate him, everyone knows the new no.1.

Funnily enough, he’s actually the main exception to the rule we mentioned before about a pros’ character flaw being the flaw they thematically represent. See, his character flaw is that he focus so much on heroics, his career in heroics, or just his own general needs over his family; to the point that he only had a family to have children he could live vicariously though, and felt no obligation to love the ones he couldn’t live through. What he represents, is actually two-fold: 1) the toxicity of the ranking system which makes heroics so competitive and encourage heroes focus on some arbitrary number, and 2) the power heroes have that let them do horrible things and get away with it. They’re connected concepts, for sure, but not exactly synonymous.

And with that said, what are his chances of survival? Well, the ranking toxicity is out of his hands, but besides that...it can be hard to tell. He has, under semi-aggressive guidance of his family, publicly taken responsibility for the things he’s done and vowed to make up for it; which helps his chances considerably. But in that same scene he also said that the only way he can atone is to keep doing what he’s always done; beat up villains and at least 1 family member. It sends a mixed message. But in general; I want to say that he’s gotten enough development that he doesn’t feel set to fail his arc now. I’d be tempted to say his chances look pretty good...were it not for all the separate reasons I think he’s likely to die anyway. Oh well, no one’s situation can be perfect.

Hawks

The controversial hero; Hawks!

I’ve summarized Hawks’ main flaw before as ‘hubris’, partially because he’s an Icarus figure so generalizing it like that feels clever, but it’s a bit more complex than that. Hawks main flaw isn’t so much pride as it is self-righteousness. Hawks represents the belief that everything is just right as it is, and the status quo must therefore be protected at all costs. A denial that the heroes he believes in have done anything wrong even after staring their mistakes in the face and spending months talking with those the heroes failed. In fact to contrast Endeavor’s line to the press; Hawks tried to excuse what he did as though it had to be done. That’s the opposite of promising.

With that said, what are his chances of survival? Well, I’d actually put him at 50/50 odds; since I see 2 endings for him, and it’s too early to tell which is more likely. See, while we’ve only got two instances of a “pattern,” Hawks seems like a guy who falls to the ground, recovers and gets back up, only to fall even further down because he never learns. So his two futures are either: A) To actually learn. Take a fall so hard that in the aftermath, he can’t convince himself he was right all along. Maybe he gets Endeavor killed, or does something to sever their relationship. Something that’d force him to self-reflect. B) To take a fall so hard it proves fatal; his mistakes catching up to him in a way that doesn’t give him a chance to self-reflect.

Best Jeanist

Sir Long Neck McImagine Obsession himself.

Best Jeanist represents the self-interest in hero society can have over justice itself. Already known for being focused on superficial image; he’s dramatic reappearance revealed just how deep that went. For when it’s revealed by a villain that a hero has committed great crimes that ended up motivating that villain’s actions; Jeanist’s immediate concern was the damage this would do to the reputation of heroes. More than what kind of person he’s been working alongside, and even more than saving lives, Jeanist’s first thought went the wellbeing of the industry he works in and how bad they would collectively look to the public; that’s what he’s most angry at Dabi for.

Chances of survival are...maybe 40-50%? There’s no real leaning one way or another frankly, so that kind of feels like it’d put him at even odds for the exact opposite reason as Hawks. Will he live? Will he die? Who can say? Leaning just a bit towards death though, because again, representing flaws in the old guard can be hazardous to your health.

Mirko

And here we have the violent one.

While I’m tempted to lump this one with Hawks, I actually think Ms.Mirko represents the heroes use of incredible violence best. See, Mirko is someone who really likes to beat people up, even once in a spin-off said Bakugou’s drive to murder was a good thing in a hero. And while she won’t even feel the need to kill like Hawks apparently did, her response to fighting the High End Nomu was something like “finally, some villains I get to just kill with no ethical issues, that makes things easy”. (Which, considering the High Ends are sentient is, um, hmm). Her love of violence borders on villainous, and she freely admits it is simple obligation that prevents her from crossing that boundary. It’s reminiscent of when Shigaraki pondered what the difference really was between heroes’ & villains’ violence. And, well, if it closes the gap in morality between heroes and villains, it’s going on this list.

Regarding her chances of survival, like Jeanist she’s not exactly defined enough to really say anything for sure or end up on any extreme end; I’ve no real reason to think she’s very likely live or die. That said; on the one hand she seems a bit more eagerly reveling in the flaw she represents, plus a blood knight getting back into the fight after sustaining heavy injuries is never a good sign. On the other hand, Horikoshi clearly likes her for reasons we won’t address here. I think I’m gonna average it out to 50%. Maybe even 60%.

Kamui Woods & Mt. Lady

You wouldn’t think some of the most plain as bread heroes would be joining the ranks of the problematic, and in fairness that’s because they mostly aren’t, but they are the ones who best represent a serious issues with heroes. They represent the way heroes will focus on flashiness & the problems they cause/exasperate in the process. Misconduct performed in the quest for fame; in so many words. Kamui showed this in chapter 1; calling a giant purse snatcher “evil incarnate” because that villain was attention grabbing and disturbing the peace. This is especially noticeable in hindsight, after we’ve see some real problems heroes could be dealing with but aren’t; like lost children on their way to becoming villains. And Mt. Lady represent it by how she operates in a big city despite her powers really working better for more rural or neighborly environments; because city work makes her more popular and rakes in the cash (that she loses paying for repairs).

That said, even if those are flaws I feel are highly associated with them, none of that is stuff they’re actively involved in; they’re naïve at best, and have already improved considerably (for minor characters at least) into better heroes. Frankly speaking, their changes of survival are probably averaging at 85% (80% for Kamui, 90% for Mt.). Like, they’re not gag characters per se; but they’re not super serious characters, they’re not connected to the MCs in any real way, and they don’t knowingly contribute to any of society’s corruptions. Really, so long as big H doesn’t really want to off someone we know for a shock, they’re probably fine.

Gran Torino

And lastly, the only non-big shot on the list, the unpleasant old geezer himself; Gran Torino!

What GT represents better than any other, I think, is the idea of passing any blame a hero may have for the actions/very existence of a villain on to the villain in question, thus allowing the heroes to better absolve themselves. You know like how with Shigaraki, he ignores any fault he has with that guys’ existence and simplifies him down to a criminals they can only beat down; and how dare he exist and thereby hurt Toshinori’s feelings. On that note, I’d say he also represents the idea that the villains are what they are, they’re too far gone, and there’s nothing the heroes can do about it. The most convenient excuse to not ever have to try to make up for what they did wrong, which you can’t even blame them too much for because they “tried their best” (even if they really didn’t).

So, what are his odds? Well frankly I wanna put him at 0% just cause he’s so old that if a villain doesn’t get him, time will. But that’s cheating. In actuality, it’s hard to say; dude’s a stubborn old man, and it really feels like it will depend on his ability to admit how wrong he handled things regarding Tomura. Now admittedly, he did admit to making the wrong choice in handling Kotaro, but he’s said nothing of Tomura so far. For now I’ll put him at 30%, but we’ll have to see if he sticks to his guns regarding current events next time he talks with All Might or whoever to really get a gasp on his chances.

And that’s about all the big ones so we’ll wrap it up. Anyway the point is it feels like a lot of heroes are gonna need to get their acts together lest they risk coming down with Not Alive Syndrome sometime in the future.

[franniebanana]

CQL Rewatch - Episode 4

Okay, it’s been a hot minute since I was able to get to watching this episode, but here we go!

Great intro. Remember last time how Lan Wangji got to pick Wei Wuxian’s punishment? Well, it seems that Wei Wuxian was up late into the night working on transcribing and, surprise! he’s not done. And unless I’m mistaken, he’s actually spent days doing this, because when they first arrived, the salute ceremony was ten days away, and here we see Wei Wuxian is almost late for it. So by this point, I’d expect Wei Wuxian to have some serious hand cramps from all that calligraphy.

While I enjoy this comical moment and introduction to Nie Huaisang, I have to wonder why he thought bringing a bird into the salute ceremony was a good idea. Birds make noise—they tweet, flap their wings, try to escape cages! Anyway, it’s a goofy moment, but we got some cute expressions out of Xiao Zhan and some disdainful looks from Wang Yibo, so I can’t complain.

Xiao Zhan does a really good job of looking very young here at the beginning: his mannerisms, his facial expressions, how he carries himself, all really creates this feeling of being young and carefree. On the other side, Wang Yibo (who is six years younger than Xiao Zhan) does an equally good job of portraying someone more severe, mature, elitist. Lan Wangji has a reputation for being above people—for creating an aura that implies other people aren’t worth his time. In fact, he doesn’t even have any friends, as we found out in the last episode.

Wangxian really suit each other, even before they know each other at all: Wei Wuxian has this light, carefree nature to his character, while Lan Wangji’s is darker, more austere.

First of all, those fuckers. Gossiping about his lineage in full earshot of not only Jin Guangyao but also Jin Zixuan. This poor guy has practically clawed his way up to where he is, only to be an attendant to a clan that he has no blood relation to. His own father refuses to acknowledge him, his mother is gone, and these jerks gossiping—ugh! Hate it, regardless of who he grows to be later on in the series.

I really love Jin Guangyao and seeing how he changes from beginning to end is honestly a delight to watch. Like most of the characters, he seems so pure, so simple, such a kind person, and his relationship with Lan Xichen is something that you can’t devote enough time to. I think it gets shortchanged a little, but they only had 50 episodes, so I’ll take what I can get. Even in the book, I was left wanting to know more and see more about them (but I wouldn’t trade my wangxian content for that, so I guess I shouldn’t complain).

Last thing I want to say is, DIMPLES! Look at those adorable dimples!!

This is so insane—he literally set this guy on fire! How can he get away with this?! Anyway, enter Draco Malfoy—I mean, Wen Chao. Ahem. This series wants to throw a lot of villains at you right away: we already have Wen Ruohan, Xue Yang, potentially Wen Qing (we don’t know at this point), and now we have Wen Chao. They’re really pushing the Wen Clan is bad agenda. And as if being generally rude and probably mentally unstable isn’t bad enough, Wen Chao literally sets fire to one of the Gusu Lan Clan disciples, while the other disciple basically does nothing about it (why is that guy so useless? Doesn’t he have some spiritual energy to throw at that magic fire?).

Wen Chao is one of those characters that I think most people love to hate. He’s so evil, so horrible, yet charming, in a way. He is a villain and he’s proud of it, y’know? There’s no ambiguity here about his actions, which is kind of refreshing in a series filled with grey characters (and I love grey characters, don’t get me wrong).

Oh! And I just noticed while I was saving that screenshot that Wen Ning can’t even look at what’s going on. Very accurate to his character—non-confrontational, just wants to float along and do as he’s told. Really shows he’s under the thumb of the Wen Clan. I also like how Wen Qing is the one to put out the flames. You get to see that healer side of her early on.

Jiang Cheng and I had the same expression here—I really wanted to know what their gift to Lan Qiren was. If this is something in the book, well, then I’ve forgotten. Wei Wuxian and I have that trait in common: bad memory.

LWJ: Bro, can I hit him?

LXH: Nah, bro.

I missed this on my first viewing—or just forgot, most likely. Lan Wangji is so poised and collected, but also so defensive. He’s the brother who will be the first to go on the offensive if he sees something wrong happening, which I love. But I also love Lan Xichen’s chill attitude—yes, this guy is clearly a troublemaker, and he’s dissing our clan, but let’s settle this in an adult manner. According to the wiki, Lan Xichen is only a few years older than Lan Wangji, but you can see that he is a lot more mature in just those few years. Like I said in the last episode, he kind of had to be a parent to his younger brother and set an example of how you should behave. Of course, he’s also the clan leader, so he can’t really act like a spitfire.

Of course, if anyone is more defensive than Lan Wangji, it’s Wei Wuxian. Even though Lan Wangji has been a bit of a pain in the ass to him, Wei Wuxian still rushes to their defense. Even this early on, he’s started to form an attachment to the Gusu Lan Clan, whether he’s really aware of it or not. I’m wearing my wangxian goggles, but the “you offended the Jiang Clan because my brother was in the middle of his salute” kind of feels like an afterthought.

But of course it’s in Wei Wuxian’s character to be heroic like this—to rush to the defense of others, whether it’s asked for or not, and I don’t get the feeling that Lan Wangji disapproves of this. I think he takes note of this and future events, adding it to what he’s compiled of what makes Wei Wuxian tick. And by this time, I think he’s also decided to give Wei Wuxian another chance—Lan Xichen has planted the seed in his mind that he could be a good friend to Lan Wangji.

I know he’s not supposed to be gay.

I know.

But…come on. The way he’s looking at Lan Xichen right now—it’s a look certainly of deep admiration and respect. And there’s not a hint of jealously either, even though Jin Guangyao has every reason to be jealous of Lan Xichen: the respect he commands is great—he can even subdue the Wen Clan. But instead of hating Lan Xichen, Jin Guangyao instead becomes close friends with him, very much a parallel to Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian. Fascinating! These characters are so rich—so many layers, so much to talk about!

The first time I watched this, I was so annoyed with Nie Huaisang—any additional scenes that were added just drove me crazy. But now, having watched it all, I actually really appreciate these moments of comic relief, even the ones that are unique to CQL. As the series progresses, it gets darker and darker, and these lighter moments are honestly precious when you know what’s coming.

Someone explain to me why Jiang Yanli is making soup when meals are being provided to them? Yes, we know she takes care of her brothers, but why is it always her making soup? This is the first of many soup scenes, and at a certain point, it’s like beating a dead horse. I actually would have appreciated a little scene of them eating Gusu Lan Clan food and getting to see Wei Wuxian complain about it. I wouldn’t mind a disapproving look from Lan Wangji at overhearing it either.

Yeah, remember when I was saying Lan Wangji was taking note of the good things Wei Wuxian did? Well, he’s also very aware of how naughty he is. At the beginning, Wei Wuxian’s good traits are heavily outweighed by his transgressions, though, by comparison, they are minor ones. It’s ironic that later on Lan Wangji will overlook major transgressions without a second thought. Shows what a deep relationship they are able to cultivate.

I feel like, in a way, this is Wei Wuxian’s way of apologizing for offending him earlier—like, I’m being cute, Lan Zhan! Obviously it only makes Lan Wangji more annoyed, but it’s the thought that counts, right? Wei Wuxian is really testing boundaries here. He has such a fixation on Lan Wangji, one that definitely annoys Jiang Cheng (and makes him jealous to boot, in my opinion), but it works to his advantage, since Lan Wangji can’t really keep his eyes off of Wei Wuxian either. And the circumstances that follow just keep drawing them together.

After Wei Ying gets told to leave the lecture and go to the Library Pavilion, he doesn’t look at anyone except Lan Wangji. I wonder if he wants to know Lan Wangji’s reaction—is it disappointment, anger, something else? Whatever it is, he wants Lan Wangji’s attention—that’s what he seeks above anything else. You could argue that he doesn’t look at Jiang Cheng or Jiang Yanli because he knows they’re disappointed or upset with him, and I think that’s fair. And maybe he doesn’t seek their attention because he knows he has it—but he doesn’t feel like he’s gotten Lan Wangji’s attention here and that bothers him.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 |

[michibikionmain]

This isn’t THE tommyinnit villain essay but it sure is one of them

Ok ok so 4 those of u who aren't on discord with me: i have two main essays that have been in the works for MONTHS, these being my Complete Dream character analysis essay going in-depth for nearly all of his canon interactions and finding his character traits and motivations through the story, and my Tommyinnit (and Wilbur Soot) were Always The Villains on the server essay talking about how the only reason so many people view them as the good guys or heroes is because we see the story from their perspective mainly. This essay? Is not either of those. BUT, it does go through a lot of my thoughts on Tommy and Dream’s characters so I figured I’d post it. maybe itll help me organize my thoughts 4 my Mega Projects lol

@ranboocore bc u helped me pop off on this so hard LMAO

Warning, it’s VERY Tommy Critical, what a suprise. I do not like Tommy as a character lol. idk what triggers yall might need me to tag but if u need one in particular pls lmn!

My biggest issue with tommy's character is that he SAYS hes learned but he never does he is exactly the same person he was at the start of the server just More Sad and with Trauma, when out of all the characters he's had the most push to change. c!Tommy is a very tell-don't-show character which can make it hard for some people to connect to him, especially those who don’t directly share his trauma or see themselves in his character. Of course, there is still a MASSIVE amount of people who relate to his struggles and thus love him regardless of his writing, but those who can't relate to him will always feel some kind of barrier until the things they've talked about are actually shown to the viewer instead of being spoon-fed to them.

It is a very beginner writing thing, and I'm hoping that Tommy is figuring out how to fix this, maybe with support from the many other writers on the server. There's the 3 you mentioned, plus fundy, niki, and maybe tubbo who also play dnd, plus Dream who said he would've been an English major and does a lot of personal writing for fun.  I think the biggest issue in the writing lies in the individual ccs being inexperienced in the medium, particularly with planning out their own character growth. 

Another glaring issue I have with c!Tommy is how he's framed to be sympathetic and he goes through all these horrible things without acknowledging his role in any of them. The things that have happened to him are a direct result of his actions, but the thing is HE won't acknowledge and so it falls flat. This isn’t to say that being abused is his fault, because it’s NEVER the vicitm’s fault, but being exiled? His multiple fights with c!Dream? His friendships falling apart? Losing the disks in the first place? They’re the direct consequences of HIS OWN actions, but he never acknowledges this and constantly just... brushes off any accountability by either saying that it’s Dream fault or simply SAYING he feels bad without properly showing it through redemption and GROWTH.

Denial is useful in storytelling sometimes, but Tommy's character has been in denial since the very beginning of the server and at this point it's just exhausting. He only ever switches between denial and depression, not really going through all 5 stages of grief properly. His violent/upset reactions would be more powerful if they were any different from how tommy usually acts, but this is always how he is. When he “lashes out” because he’s reached the end of his patience, it doesn’t SEEM like the snap it is because that’s just... it’s seriously just his standard reaction to everything. It hold no WEIGHT to see c!Tommy yell at someone violently or threaten to fight them because he does that anyways!

Static characters can be a good thing, and can be interesting if done correctly, but not every character SHOULD or CAN be static in a story.

Static characters need to have their position or behavior challenged and question, where they look into if the way they see and interact with the world is really the 'correct' one or just evaluated to see if they truly believe in them. This questioning period is CRUCIAL! and NEEDS to be well done in a way that ACTIVELY SHOWS the conflict between the two ideals. If they decide to hold onto their beliefs/continue their behavior then, it feels deserved, because rather than just being a flat "they do thing its who they are" they have defined WHY. WHY is a very important question to think of when telling the difference between dynamic and static characters. The why of a character is ESSENTIAL to developing them as a relatable, sympathetic person rather than a flat story telling device. It makes them a human rather than a puppet. When a character's motives aren't well defined or discussed, they're doomed to fall flat in everything else, because the WHY is the foundation of what makes them who they are.

c!Tommy has an underdeveloped "why", his motivations are weak, rarely properly discussed and when they are it doesn't particularly stick with him. His motivations change without showing us the internal struggle that should come from literally shifting your driving principles. There are some good MOMENTS of him reevaluating the importance of certain things, but they're so spread out and contradictory and immediately spat one that they're hard to piece together. He TELLS us what his motivations are as well, which is another big flaw when it comes to all that but we don't have time to unpack all THAT Anyways, the key to static story telling is reaffirmation. The character goes through a complete journey and ends with the same beliefs because they've looked into why they have them and determined that they still matter to them. A great example of static writing in my eyes is c!Techno, who since the beginning has believed that governments are bad. c!Techno enters the server to destroy a government, and still ends up doing that because he sees and we see him experience that the reasons he didn't like government before still hold true and he has no reason to support them any more than before, and so his anarchist beliefs are REAFFIRMED, proving to him that they way he handles things is the right one for him.

c!Tommy’s attachments are all just... they're all so weird.  like he LITERALLY SACRIFICES HIS LIFE MULTIPLE TIMES for L'manburg. By action of sacrifice it seems like it should be the most important thing to him, but then he throws it away for some disks that mattered less to him just a minute ago.  But then it's all about how c!Tubbo is worth more than Anything and maybe he's found something more important! but then he shoves THAT out the window for the discs again ig!!! but then it's about l’manburg again? Make it make sense.... pls....

Here's smth that really irks me about Tommy's character, and is kind of weird but give me a second to explain: Tommy has never actually permanently lost much of anything on the server. Every punishment he's ever received he's tried to find some way around. And like... I'm not expecting him to be HAPPY to face the consequences of his actions but seeing him constantly have his cake and eat it too is very irritating, especially when there are characters who DO have to deal with actual permanent sacrifices. The whole thing with the disks. where he WILLINGLY OFFERED THEM UP AND GAVE THEM AWAY THEN SPENT FOREVER TRYING TO STEAL THEM BACK WHILE CLAIMING DREAM STOLE THEM FROM HIM, is the biggest example of this, but it's generally his characters way of dealing with things. He's very backhanded and conniving, constantly calling himself "big man" except for when he wants things from people and he plays up the "iM a MiNoR" card to try and get them to give him things or feel bad. He's not just some sweet innocent kid like people paint him, he knows damn well he's messed up and while he SAYS he feels bad about it, he has never once really shown, with his ACTIONS, regret for what he's done except for the stuff with c!Sapnap, which could it could be argued he did because he thought it would help get c!Sapnap on his side to fight Dream and he knew c!Sapnap was a skilled warrior and could possibly be persuaded to fight with dream.

c!Tommy is in NO way some sweet innocent child, he knows what he's doing. He KNEW l'manburg was a drug empire, and wanted to turn his hotel into the same He was FULLY prepared to just murder c!Schlatt for legally winning an election that he KNEW was rigged AND INTENDED TO HELP RIG HE LITERALLY TEAMED UP WITH c!TECHNOBLADE KNOWING THAT HE INTENDED TO BLOW UP L'MANBURG AND ONLY LEFT WHEN HE REALIZED IT WASN'T GOING TO ACTUALLY HELP HIM--

The line of c!Wilbur saying "Tommy, are we the bad guys?" wasn't him mentally going batshit it was him realizing that the entire time they've been doing terrible things. c!Wilbur was literally ALWAYS Vilbur but the time people CALL Vilbur is when c!Will himself realized he was a villain.

[honey-hippie-harper]

through the burning shell

Hello it’s been 84 years.

This is fun :): I wrote this as a Christmas present for @obsidianfr3sk (YES DAWNIE KEEP POSTING YOU CHRISTMAS FICS DURING MARCH. YOU GO GIRL) and it’s a sequel to my other fic “through the bleeding shell” where I basically try to save Simon and Hugh from the queerbaiting MM turned them into by adding a certain degree of complexity to their relationship. This is a story about gays, grief and a dead friend + Simon defending Nova bc I don’t roll with Supernova. Hence, I am not morally obligated to obey canon <3

Anyway afgdhjafghsj i don’t think you need to read the first part to understand this, and I hope you like it <3. I don’t want to give much away, but this sort of turned into a collaboration that got out of control and @obsidianfr3sk might write a third part in the future ;)

through the burning shell

“There have been rumors that the public revealing of Agent N is to include a public execution as well.”

Being all together, right there, Simon saw Hugh narrowing his eyes, staring directly at Genissa Clark, formerly Frostbite, now neutralized, along with the rest of her team.

Well.

Almost all of them.

“That’s true.” Hugh started, and Simon couldn’t help but think he shouldn’t have answered. A part of him was getting a pretty bad feeling from this. “For his crimes against humanity, Ace Anarchy has been sentenced to death.”

“Why stop there?” Said Genissa. “I would argue that his accomplices deserve the same fate.”

The same fate.

His brain struggled to make a connection between that sentence and the one Hugh had uttered. At first, he didn’t understand. A couple of fast seconds later, Simon realized that, by saying “fate”, she was referencing something.

She was referencing, more specifically, Ace Anarchy’s sentence.

A death sentence.

Accomplices.

The Anarchists.

“Nightmare deserves the same fate.” Nova deserves the same fate. “Nightmare must die… And I want to be the one to do it.”

Nova must die.

And I want to be the one to do it.

A child killing another child, publicly, with the Renegades’ permission.

A child they had taken under their wing, Genissa Clark that is, killing another child, who had been in Simon’s house, who had touched Adrian’s heart, and who had made bad choices but was still a person. The official version of the events said she had stabbed Max, and Danna claimed she was Nightmare, but they hadn’t taken any declarations or anything, so that story might as well just change.

Simon couldn’t help but feel she didn’t deserve to die.

Maybe because she actually didn’t. It didn’t feel fair.

One thing was sentencing Ace Anarchy, the man who had lifted an entire city, leaving a ridiculously huge number of deaths in the process, who had stolen, broken and burned, who had killed a man (the mayor) and his pregnant wife, who had killed his own brother, sister-in-law and possibly his two nieces...and another, pretty different thing was to allow this 19 year old girl kill a 16 year old one, who had some crimes that could put her into jail for like 3 or 5 years, but weren’t horrible enough to give her a death sentence. She was a minor. She wasn’t yet beyond repair…

And if she was to be executed, then she was still a minor. She didn’t deserve to be humiliated like that. She didn’t deserve her life to be taken away with so little dignity.

Not by Genissa Clark.

Not like that.

And, stars, please, not now.

Not right now.

It was unthinkable, it was barbaric, it was animal, it was almost as if…

A quiet chuckle.

A quiet chuckle that, suddenly, interrupted his train of thought and, with all the pain in his heart, he was able to recognize in a blink.

Evander was chuckling.

Genissa Clark, nonchalantly, was blackmailing them. She was trading her silence for the legal permission to kill someone, in front of a crowded arena. And Evander was chuckling.

Genissa Clark wanted to murder Nova, and Evander was chuckling.

“Is that all it will take to quit their complaining?”

What else did he want?

“Works for me.”

Simon almost flinched to the audacity. To the severity of the implication. To the way he was saying it. So smug. So relaxed, so….Evander it almost made Simon mad.

That was so Evander lately.

Because, lately, Evander didn’t understand anything. Not even because he had a pregnant wife waiting for him at home. There was life inside that woman. Life that had come from him.

How couldn’t he understand?

How could somebody be so cold?

“These are lives we’re discussing.” Simon reminded him, shooting a look in his direction.

“Villains’ lives.” Evander responded. “Nightmare doesn’t deserve mercy any more than Ace Anarchy does. She was the one who neutralized them, so it seems fair to me.”

Villains’ lives were still lives.

Nova was a person.

Nova was...Nightmare, but before Nightmare, she was Nova, and Hugh and him had met her personally. Adrian had met her personally.

And, besides, with this logic, then all the Renegades were to be executed.

After all, Agent N was meant to be used by Renegades. They were the ones who were planning to neutralize people when they felt threatened. But when Nightmare did it, then she immediately deserved the death penalty.

Hugh would understand that. Everyone would understand that, just like Simon did.

They had to understand it.

Hugh had to understand it.

-.-

Yet, he didn’t.

Some time ago, Hugh had pledged to understand. Not directly per se, but he had pledged it in the name of his cause.

He promised he would understand.

And then, when he needed to understand the most, he didn’t.

He said he would.

Then he fucking didn’t.

“How can we run a city, much less an entire world, if we’re busy dealing with every trivial bit of bureaucratic nonsense that comes up?” He said.

“This solves two problems at once.” He said.

And he said that to Adrian’s, their son, face. Their son, who was just trying to help, by questioning how morally correct was to do something like that, just like Tamaya, Kasumi and himself had done, being ignored in the process.

“We need that right now. And we need to be united in this decision.”

“And why’s that, exactly?” Adrian asked. “Do we not want the world to know this is actually a dictatorship?”

In that moment, Simon knew Adrian had never spoken to Hugh like that. He had always been a pretty calm kid, who liked to question their decisions sometimes because, as a Renegade himself, of course he would feel uncomfortable or have doubts sometimes. But never had he called Hugh out. Not in that tone. Not with that entire bottle of venom flowing out of his mouth, melting his teeth, and mixing with his boiling blood.

Simon felt unable to tell him to stop, after his own voice had been ignored, and Hugh pretended Evander was the only one who mattered in the team. And it wasn’t that Evander didn’t matter.

It was just that he was wrong.

Besides, harsh as that sounded, Simon still couldn’t believe that those stinky, rotting, putrid, nauseating words had come from Hugh’s mouth. His Hugh. The man he had decided to marry, because he loved him so, so much, for him had been able to see him even when he was invisible. Literally.

Right in front of his eyes, Hugh morphed into a caricaturesque villain. His hands, which Simon had held so many times, were suddenly covered in both dry and fresh blood, red as an apple, but smelling like death.

Death.

The same death that was living like a parasite inside of his eyes, the only place that other people could harm. And the parasite was traveling through his system, all the way to his brain, spinning it around like a mirrorball, and eating from it like he was nothing.

Hugh’s hands were tied, too, and the strings were made of rope, a material he could easily tear apart, but seemed to have forgotten about that.

He was like a puppet, as the press, as society, and as tons and tons of eyes pulled from the ropes.

And nobody knew how to free him, not even himself.

“Do we not want the world to know this is actually a dictatorship?”

Adrian’s voice haunted him for days. The way in which he said that haunted him for days, and after a while, Simon just accepted he wouldn’t be able to get rid of it. It had become another one of the wounds he carried, open and bleeding, through life. The worst part of it all, was that Simon knew Adrian was right. That, at this point, everyone but Hugh, Evander and Genissa Clark were right.

But if he knew where had they gone wrong, and if he knew he didn’t agree with this monstrosity...why did it hurt so much?

How did you speak to a person who didn’t want to listen?

And, most importantly: Where were you supposed to get the courage to do it from?

 -.-

 Nova had spent seventeen days in Cragmoor Penitentiary when Adrian said he wanted to see her. He had been so mad at her, that it caught Simon off guard.

Not that he wasn’t able to understand it.

Adrian had had a couple of girlfriends and boyfriends throughout his life but, from what Simon could see, Nova was by far the one he had been the most serious about, to the point it almost seemed she was the one who would stay. Simon would’ve wanted to see his partner too, no matter how mad he was at said partner, if he knew they had been sentenced to death.

As fast as they could, knowing they were facing an authority (Adrian had asked them to be with him in the room), the wardens brought her right away, in a matter of minutes.

Through the glass, Simon saw her, on the metal platform, with her arms and legs being held, tightly, by braces, which were equally made of metal. For the look in her eye, Simon could almost hear her desperate begs for her visitor not to be Adrian. Yet, he had been, and he wasn’t alone, which, if anything, only made it worse.

Simon, from his part, was staring at two different glasses at the time. The one that divided them from Nova, and Adrian’s glasses, which revealed the pain he was penetrating Nova’s soul with, and also the rage he was entitled to feel.

But Nova looked small.

She, in fact, looked as small as she actually was.

She was almost a kid. She hadn’t yet started living. Yet, she was locked up here, and would only be taken out to be killed.

Nova’s body was shaking, just like Adrian’s. Her chin was quivering so much it almost seemed like she was cold, and Simon felt a twinge in his stomach. He felt nauseous and dizzy. And so evil and so guilty.

For some reason, he pictured a child, because Nova had been a younger child once, full of joy and innocence.

 He pictured a child. Just like that.

 Maybe she was wearing pigtails, had a gap between two of her teeth, and bruised legs, because she liked to play outside with her friends. Maybe, before she became Nightmare, she had something else to hold on to. Maybe she, like many people out there,  had hoped for the Renegades to come, and when they didn’t do it, something became numb, and cold, and she started freezing to death, just like she would remain freezing, suspended in History, as the interrupted life who was the proof the Renegades had become the one thing they promised they would never be.

And Simon didn’t want to be part of that, yet he was still here.

He was still here, thinking about how fortunate he was that Nova wasn’t staring back at him, but at Adrian instead, as selfish as that might’ve sounded.

Simon felt he had lost the right to look her in the eye, having been the one who promised her, on several occasions, that she could look into theirs.

With each one of his limbs becoming tense, Simon took a deep breath. His mouth tasted like bile, and his whole body was pounding along with this heart. It felt like one of those times when you were almost a hundred percent sure you were having a heart attack, despite knowing that, if that was the case, you would already be on the floor crying for help.

Next thing he felt was the sudden and strong urge to speak.

He would’ve liked to talk to Nova, but through this glass, she couldn’t hear anything.

Besides, Simon knew that this moment wasn’t about him, or Hugh. They were involved in it. They were carrying it in their backs like a cross, but it wasn’t about them. It was about Nova and Adrian. There was glass between the two. They could press their hands together through it, but they couldn’t touch the other’s skin. They couldn’t feel the air the other breathed in the short distance. They couldn’t kiss. It was scary. It was sad. And it wasn’t awfully familiar.

But it wasn’t about Simon or Hugh.

“Do you need some privacy?” Simon asked, perhaps to both of them, knowing one wouldn’t be able to hear him, even if she tried.

In response, Adrian turned his gaze away from Nova, staring at Simon instead, nodding.

“I think that would be nice.”

Before Simon could say anything else, Hugh reached for his son’s shoulder, and once he touched it, he caressed the fabric, and the skin beneath the fabric, briefly.

“We’ll be in the lobby.”

Adrian nodded again and then, after gulping, he said:

“I love you, okay?”

The weird thing was, he didn’t look them in the eye for much. He did, but he turned his gaze away pretty fast, barely leaving time to process his own words. For that reason, nor Hugh or him responded.

They left right after that, leaving Adrian alone inside the room.

With Nova, but alone.

 -.-

They dropped Adrian at the hospital once they left Cragmoon. There was barely any sound throughout the whole ride, except when Hugh asked if they wanted something from the store, and when they said goodbye to Adrian.

Obviously, Adrian couldn’t get close to Max. Not if he wanted to avoid being neutralized by him, but sometimes, according to Adrian himself, he liked to stay in the waiting room, and help the staff with whatever they needed, for he liked Max to know he came to visit often, and that he wasn’t alone, even if he couldn’t touch, or be in the same room with him. So they just allowed him to stay in the hospital as much as he needed. After all, it’s not like he was hurting anybody.

After that, everything was silent, all the way home, because, instead of driving towards the Headquarters, Hugh drove towards the mansion, leaving Tamaya in charge, under the excuse they would take a two hour break to have lunch together at home. She wasn’t so happy about it, but agreed anyway, because it’s not like Hugh had given her an option in the first place. He had just notified her. At this point, Hugh’s volume was getting the tiniest bit loud.  And Simon wasn’t talking about his voice.

Upon arriving into the house, Hugh threw the keys by the entrance’s table and proceeded to walk all the way towards the living room, to lay on the couch, one arm covering his eyes, without even taking his costume off. He didn’t have a reason to, because they were supposed to be back at the Headquarters in two hours and, besides, the elephant in the room was making it cold. Maybe he felt his armor would protect him from what they were doing, and from what they were still doing.

Sadly, the fabric of Simon’s costume wasn’t as warm. And as he took his mask off and placed it next to keys, he felt nothing but cold wind. He was back again at being Simon, and Simon only, without anything protecting him, in the same room as the husband who rarely ever kissed him anymore.

There was an elephant in the room, and it was killing both of them, though Hugh looked like he was already dead.

Simon tried not to pay attention to him, but when he was crossing to the kitchen, he couldn’t help but ask, in an unintentionally harsh tone:

“Are we going to have lunch or did you just want to make Tamaya more stressed?”

Hugh lowered his arm, staring at him with an arched eyebrow, lifting his neck just a little, to have a clearer view. Simon was starting to feel bad for having snapped at him, but not enough to take it back.

Sometimes you had to do the right thing, and sometimes the right thing was not taking it back.

His husband, from his part, looked rather confused, as if he couldn’t recognize the person in front of him.

“Are you feeling okay?” He asked.

The question caught him off guard.

Was he okay? Simon wasn’t sure, nor did he want to answer. In times like these, Hugh wanted people to answer him what he wanted to hear and, sadly, this time Simon didn’t have any answer he would like.

“Did you take your pills, Si?”

Something inside of his body turned into a tight knot, and Simon turned his gaze towards him, in a violent act. He frowned so deeply he felt his skin itching, and though he knew that, under normal circumstances, he would’ve just interpreted this as a routinary question, this time it wasn’t the case at all. This time it felt like an attack. Like something Hugh had to take back immediately because it was not his place to ask it, that is:  a question he always asked anyway.

But not this time.

Because ,this time, he wasn’t okay.

“Don’t pull the anxiety card on me, Hugh.” Saying that left a bitter, disgusting firm on his mouth, right under his tongue, which was dry. He felt like he had just chewed on a pill.

“The anxie--” Hugh narrowed his eyes, shifting into a sitting position. “I’m not pulling that card on you. I’m just asking a question.”

“Then don’t ask that question.” Simon snapped again, heading towards the kitchen to get a class of water. His feet were making too much noise when in contact with the floor, and his mouth was too dry. It was making him crazy.

It was only then that he realized they still had something else pending, and for some reason that was enough to make him stay. Simon spun on his toes, facing him. Hugh was breathing heavily, and his brows were almost touching each other.

“You didn’t answer my question, though.” He told him, in a dry tone. “Did you want to have lunch with me or did you just think taking a break while Tamaya loses her mind would be fun?”

“If Tamaya didn’t want to be in charge, she would’ve told me, and you know that.”

“Tamaya talks back when she is given a chance to.”

An empty feeling of freedom filled Simon’s body, pushing his way into the hollow all his mixed feelings had been carving at the center of his stomach.

And it wasn’t just about Tamaya, really. It wasn’t just about how lately none of her ideas were taken into consideration. Rather, it was about how nor were Kasumi’s, or his own ideas, when they tried to speak up. It was about how things were getting weirder and weirder as time went by, to the point where Simon would see a very pregnant Tamaya in the hallway, apparently fine, but stating she didn’t know if her water was breaking or if she just really needed to use the restroom (the restroom where she didn’t fit in); it was about how everyone knew damn well that Kasumi wasn’t good at public speaking and that, if anything, it just worsened her selective mutism, and yet many important speeches were given to her; it was about how Simon felt like he was talking to a wall, and how that made him feel, suspect, even, that Hugh was back to being trapped in a closet he was already too big for.

It wasn’t just about that, in conclusion.

It was just the tip of a bigger and more messed up problem.

“Well, if you want Tamaya to go bathe in her Greek goddess shower-pool-whatever that thing is, then fine. I’ll call her, I’ll tell her to take the day off, and we go back to the Headquarters.”

 “That would be great, actually!” Simon laughed sarcastically. “But you know what would be even better?”

“I don’t, Si. You tell me.”

It was a rhetorical question.

The nerve.

“That we would act like a team. That we would stop lollygagging around and take realistic turns to have our breaks, because each one of us have lives, and we’re not the only ones who have needs.” And that was about Kasumi feeling like she couldn’t do it today but having to anyway; it was about Tamaya crying in the BBQ Sunday, explaining to her husband how she wanted her baby to be with her, as a baby bawled into her arms, trying to reach for his father, because she spent so little time at home her youngest son wouldn’t recognize her sometimes; it was about Evander claiming Sandy didn’t feel like being alone with her baby bump today, but showing up at work anyway.

And yes, they had pledged to do this, but they were supposed to be in it together.

“But how should I know?” Simon hissed. “It’s not like we’re a Council or anything.”

The bile was all over his mouth now, and Simon felt possessed. He didn’t know how to stop it, and the words just kept coming, and coming and coming, as Hugh stared, half-startled, half mad.

Simon felt like he was a loaded gun that was ready to kill everything that moved, for a reason and a cause.

All those repressed feelings. All those things he desperately wanted to say but never could. The anxiety. The desperate, insatiable craving for a touch that never came. For a kiss. For anything. For a sign. A sign of whatever. One single sign, that would just let him know Hugh was still here.

“It’s not like you needed the majority of us to agree to sentence that minor to death.” He let it go, and all the air, along with his soul, left Simon’s body. “It’s not like Evander and you needed such thing, did you?”

Hugh’s confusion frown suddenly shifted.

Then, all Simon saw was the embodiment of anger, with his cheeks becoming flushed, and his knuckles becoming yellow.

“So that’s what this is all about.”

There was one word to describe that tone, and that word was condescension.

To Simon, the gut-wrenching feeling of frustration that caused him was indiscriptable, and he didn’t wish it to anybody. He would’ve preferred Hugh to scream at him, or just refuse to answer at all, because he couldn’t take it.

He had had people talking down to him his entire life. He wasn’t willing to keep tolerating that.

And in the moment he stared into Hugh’s blue eyes, Simon knew there was no turning back. Because sometimes the right thing to do was not taking it back.

Others, it was not holding it back.

“No. In fact, it’s not about that.”

“WHAT IS IT, THEN?!”

“YOU TELL ME!” Simon howled, getting one step closer to him, and all the memories started flowing...more likely, overflowing, including that time when he had talked to Kasumi and Tamaya in the living room, just like as if they were teenagers, instead of grown ass people, about how Hugh was leaving, even though he was still right there.

Right there, looking like a corpse.

A blue, stiff corpse.

“Why don’t you ever kiss me anymore?” Simon asked, and his voice sounded way less threatening than he had intended. “Why?”

“Are you really going to pull that card on me?”

“I am going to pull it because I want to know!” Simon barked, pointing at his own chest, which was getting tighter and tighter with every second. “Why don’t you ever touch me anymore? Why am I always invisible to you, even when I’m not? Why are you so fucking cold all the time? Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?!”

Hugh wheezed, maybe pretending it didn’t make sense, or maybe pretending he hadn’t understood at all. Still smirking, he ran his fingers through his hair, and stared at Simon, scratching his chin, and clicking his tongue.

“So...Sex.”

Simon’s heart was pounding.

“Yes, sex!” He yelled, shameless. “And kisses, and hugs and my husband! That is what am I asking for!”

“WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?! WE’RE BUSY!”

“WE’RE NOT BUSY NOW!”

“SO YOU WANT TO GET LAID NOW?!”

“I’M NOT GETTING LAID WHILE THINKING ABOUT HOW A CHILD WILL BE EXECUTED BY ANOTHER CHILD BECAUSE I WASN’T ALLOWED TO DO ANYTHING TO STOP IT FROM HAPPENING!”

“SHE TRIED TO KILL ME! SHE TRIED TO KILL MAX!”

“FIRST: AN ATTEMPTED ASSASINATION IS NOT ENOUGH TO GIVE SOMEBODY A DEATH PENALTY, AND, SECOND: THAT’S WHAT GENISSA SAID!”

“ISN’T THAT ENOUGH?!”

“THAT’S NOT ENOUGH!” Simon screamed, covering his ears with hands.

He didn’t know why, specifically, the ears, knowing that, in reality, his eyes were the problem, because every time he closed them, he saw Nova in that chair, like an animal. And he saw Genissa standing in the lobby, playing with them like puppets; he saw Evander’s despicable smirk when he told Genissa to go ahead; he saw Adrian’s furious eyes as he called his own dad a dictator; he saw Hugh.

Mostly, he saw Hugh, and the caricaturesque villain version of him, which Simon despised with every inch of his being.

Then he was back at the beginning. At Nova.

Nova, who had tan skin, pitch black hair and slanted blue eyes. And Nova, who looked familiar when she smiled, because she looked similar to that man who had come to the Headquarters asking for help, whose smile looked similar to the other person who carried their blood.

And Simon couldn’t help but consider it as a real possibility. And if he happened to be right, then they were failing her.

For the second time.

“It’ll never be enough, Hugh.” He declared. “Because she…”

Simon’s internal knots became tighter, to the point they were suffocating him.

“How do we know who this girl is?” he questioned. “How do we know it isn’t her?”

“Her, who? What are you talking about?”

“Her. The one we failed to protect.” Simon felt a tear slipping from his eye, as he became closer and Hugh walked backwards. “Uh? How do we know that? How do we…?”

But something stopped him.

 And that something was Hugh’s eyes, turning grey as chromium.

He was breathing fast. Faster with every second, and where maybe he saw anger, Simon saw nothing but deep, stored pain, flowing out of him like sweat, or like the tears that weren’t there.

There was Hugh’s bleeding shell again, protecting him like he was a small child curled up on the floor, in a ball, through a polarized surface where Simon and him couldn’t touch, and where nothing could hurt him, while everything could at the same time.

There it was.

The despicable, horrid, bleeding shell.

Except this time it wasn’t bleeding. No. No.

This time, the dense, bubbling blood was falling off it, reaching Simon’s feet, and the shell was in flames. Tall, untamable flames, that were burning the roof and everything surrounding them.

The shell was burning, while Hugh was inside of it, and nobody could get him out before he was burned to death.

Why didn’t he let anyone help him?

Why did he insist the flames weren’t there?

Why couldn’t Simon hold his hand?

Why was he so far?

“We didn’t fail to protect her. She died.” Hugh declared, and when Simon saw his lips quivering, he realized they weren’t talking about Nova anymore.

“She didn’t fail. She died. “ Simon saw the silver painting Hugh’s fingertips, as tears started rolling down his face. “She died! SHE DIED, WHEN IT SHOULD’VE BEEN ME, SIMON!”

The bleeding shell was burning, and Simon still couldn’t find his way in.

“IT SHOULD’VE BEEN ME! AND SHE DIED! SHE DIDN’T FAIL TO PROTECT ANYONE! SHE DIED! IT SHOULD’VE BEEN ME! SHE DIED, SIMON! SHE DIED!”

Their eyes met for a couple of second, and the connection vanished after a blink.

“IT’S NOT HER FAULT SHE DIED, IT’S MINE!”

Hugh was sobbing, like a small child, and Simon was too.

“...It’s...it’s mine, Simon. Always has been.”

And they were so far, despite being so close, that they were left with holding themselves tight.

Because there was no way to get into the burning shell, for Hugh, strangely as it sounded, had never said those words out loud, because he thought the picture on the wall behind him, the one with the woman wearing a floral pink dress with their son -who was also hers- sitting on her lap, would hear him and that would make her sad.

Yet, Simon knew she wasn’t sad at the moment.

He knew her well enough to know she would’ve been disappointed, instead.

Anybody would be if they had to see their family kill the one thing they had died trying to protect.

“No.” Simon declared, calmly. “But I’m not going to go and try to convince you otherwise because I know it’s not the right time.”

Hugh started shaking.

“Si…”

“And I won’t be a part of this, either.” Simon declared, firm, still staring at the picture through the corner of his eye, yet still fully focused on Hugh. “From now on, all you’ll get from me is silence in regards to the issue. I’m not willing to be a part of it. I don’t agree with this. I will never agree.”

“You don’t understand.”

“And I’m glad I don’t. In fact, I hope I never do.” Simon wiped his tears with his palm, and before continuing, he tried to find his Hugh one more time.

He was still there.

Simon hadn’t yet given up on him, but he didn’t feel like telling him that at the moment.

For some reason.

“If Adrian wants to see me, tell him I’ll be at Kasumi’s.”

“Simon.” Hugh grabbed him by the wrist, and a simple wave from Simon’s hand was enough to get it off. Way too easy, for a person who happened to have super-strength. “Simon, please. Don’t do this again. Please. SIMON!”

But Simon did it again anyway.

Later, he wondered what Adrian had felt when he abducted Max from the hospital and left a note for them.

He also wondered what everyone else had felt when the real Nightmare showed up.

Not that he was mad at them.

He just wondered what they had felt.

[saltedpeppermintmocha]

into the night (bakugou x reader) - Chapter 5/?

Summary:

You were born to die.

It is a fact you’ve known since your quirk first manifested, and one you have been denying for just as long. You refuse your supposed fate and try to live the best life you can while remaining undetected.

But maybe fate has another plan. A chance encounter on a mountainside changes your life forever.

Chapter One

MATURE : MINORS DO NOT INTERACT // 18+

Your eyes lock with red ones.

They widen, flickering down your dusty uniform and back up to whatever shocked expression is definitely on your face right now. For a moment, you are sure he is about to say something, but it never comes. Instead, the ground vibrates violently all around you and he breaks eye contact to look back down the street. In the distance, you can see one of the cloth dolls, closer than before. He doesn't look back, just takes off in a burst of smaller explosions.

A cough behind you brings you back quickly to the more important matter at hand. You turn around. “Eito, are you okay?” You ask, looking him over. The man coughs a bit, also covered in debris dust, and holds up a thumbs up. You rush to his side, taking his post beside the patient, and begin to pack the wound, applying pressure when necessary.

The battle now behind you must be getting closer. The ground vibrates more often around you, and explosions sound more intense than before. A shadow passing over makes you look up. A male hero with messy black hair and a green vest is blown through the air, crashing into a building further down. It looks extremely painful, but the hero appears again soon enough and runs back into the fray.

“Shit.” Eito coughs a bit more, watching the action as it continues.

Why isn’t anyone here yet? The location isn’t that far from the path you all already took. It shouldn’t be that difficult to find with the flare. You look desperately down the street in the direction you came from, eyes searching for any signs of help. There is a lot of smoke, but you’re not sure where it's coming from. Did something happen? If extraction was impossible, you would get a radio notice. So why haven’t you?

The radio.

You reach down to your side, grasp at the radio, and bring it up. It’s still working, the sturdy material is not damaged in the action. Turning it on, you radio out to your coworkers. It takes a minute before you get a response. You ask for an update or an estimated time of arrival.

The voice on the other end is choppy. “Did you…flare?”

“Yes.”

“Can’t…” It cuts out entirely. A moment later. “...smoke.”

You glance down at the patient. Time is ticking for him. Three options left: leave, stay, or split up. It’s a dangerous and risky move to split up in the middle of a battlefield like this. The smart move would be to call it a loss, to leave together. You know that. But you can’t just leave the patient here. He’s alive. He has a fighting chance.

You speak into the radio. “Sending help.”

But, who stays? Who goes? The person who leaves faces an unknown future. You have no idea what is happening behind all that smoke. Maybe it's okay, or maybe the streets and buildings are crumbling, or maybe there is another battle going on just beyond that veil of smoke. There’s no way to know.

You glance back at the battle raging behind you. It’s definitely getting closer. It won’t be too much longer before it’s practically on top of you. That comes with its own set of risks, and it’ll take someone used to this type of environment in order to make the final call on when to stay and when to give up. In the end, there isn’t a choice.

“Eito.” You look over. “You gotta go.”

“What?” His eyes go wide.

“Somethings wrong, they didn’t see our flare. Go get them, lead them back here.” He looks like he wants to argue, like he doesn’t want to leave you, but nods anyway. Standing up, he gives you one last look before rushing down the street. You watch him until his back disappears. You hope he’ll be okay. You hope he’ll be back in time.

You look back down at the patient, now-bloody hands holding his chest to stem the blood. The wound seems to be doing better after the packing, but it still presents the most immediate medical threat to the man. You’re not sure how much blood he lost in total, or how much more he can stand to lose. Biting your lip, you consider using your quirk. It’s a coin toss, really. It could solve most of your problems, it could solve the immediate threat, and give the patient more time to live. Or it could turn one patient into two.

“Fucking-WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!” You startle from your thoughts, looking up at the loud voice. Ground Zero flies overhead in a burst of orange light, landing on a large piece of debris a few meters away.

You open your mouth to reply, accidentally breathing in a mouthful of dust disturbed by his explosions. Crouching, you use one hand to hit your chest and the other to gesture down at the patient. You hope he understands.

“GO!” The blond gestures angrily and turns around, facing the looming threat. You put your hands back on the patient's chest and follow his line of vision. It’s close enough that you can see the hero with the black hair and green vest fighting. The man slams his hands on the ground and vibrations echo through the area. Another hero, a blond woman dressed in blue, runs around the base of the cloth doll. Ground Zero heads back into battle.

You look back at your patient. He’s pale but still breathing. You apply a snug pressure dressing over the packed wound and are able to let go. If the transport gets here soon, he’ll live. That’s not a medical diagnosis by any means, but something you feel in your gut. Maybe it’s just your stupid hope.

Still, the battle rages around you as the cloth doll takes another large step in your direction. You glance around at your potential escape routes and hiding areas if it were to get much closer. Other than monitoring the wound, there is not much else you can do at the moment for the patient. You look up at the battle.

The blue and green heroes run around the cloth doll, inflicting damage. It trips, but stands up and attacks another building. Ground Zero flies around the top, blasting the doll with explosion after explosion. The doll is mostly black from the attack, and partially on fire. Still, it continues to take another step in your direction. One massive hand flies up, hitting Ground Zero from the air. The blond goes flying back over the top of you, steadying himself with some well-placed blasts.

“MOVE IDIOT.” That angry yell is as clear as day. He pauses over top of you, looking down. Too far away to see his face. You shake your head slowly. No. You are not leaving him yet. There is still time. Curses rain down upon you in that gruff voice as he turns back towards the puppet, blasting into battle.

A yell from behind you grabs your attention. You turn around. A figure runs towards you from the smoke followed by one more...two more, both carrying a stretcher. Relief hits you smack in the chest. Shit, they made it.

Your team makes quick work in mobilizing the patient, working together seamlessly to deposit him on the stretcher and lift him up. Eito acts as a lookout as the three of you begin to carry him out of the attack area. Soon enough you see the ambulance lights ahead, a bit surprised to see an additional vehicle at the scene. They must have called for backup when they didn’t see your flare.

You all work quickly to get the patient into the free ambulance and jump in yourself. You end up staying beside the patient to monitor him as the others jump into the back and front, running different assessments that you couldn’t in the field as the vehicle begins to drive.

Honestly, he looks horrible. He is extremely pale, blood pressure and heart rate low. Despite your gut feeling in the field, he might not make it. His body is trying too hard to do everything at once. You and Eito work hard to stabilize him as much as possible but, it might just be too much. He’ll make it to the hospital, but after that, you don’t know.

Something tugs at your chest. Patients don’t always make it, you know that. You’ve had your fair share of patients you’ve saved die at the hospital, as well as those who die before they even make it. You feel for every one of them, for their families and loved ones. But something about this patient just makes you need to save him. You wonder why.

No, you know why. Now that you have a moment to breathe, you can’t help but realize the similarities. You flashback to a month ago, sitting in an ambulance and doing the same assessments on a patient less than half your age. The kid had gotten caught up in a villain attack and had been hit by some sort of emitter quirk in the chest. You had done everything you could and had been relatively confident as you loaded him in the ambulance.

He hadn’t made it to the hospital. His body went into sudden shock and there had been no way to bring him back. That was it.

You cried harder that night than you had in years. The next day, you went to your boss and demanded your vacation.

Now, your first time back in the field, you’re facing another chest wound. Another race against time. You always want to save patients, but you need to save this one. Reaching forward, you take the pressure dressing off. Eito gives you a weird look, turning to alarm when you begin to take out the wound packing.

“What are you doing?!” An appropriate response, really.

“We need new packing.” Wrong. Very wrong. “Can you grab some more?”

It's a testament to both just how new he is to the job and how nervous he is that he doesn’t question your order and simply turns to grab more dressing. This would not have worked with any of your other coworkers.

The second he looks away, you reach out a hand and place it on the patient's chest. Even if things go wrong, you’ll be okay. You’re on the way to the hospital anyway, right? Focus.

Pain sears through your chest. White. Hot. Nausea threatens to overwhelm you. You try to ignore it, continue until you feel the wound close beneath your hand. Something runs down your chest. Liquid. Your uniform begins to stick to you.

Eito turns back, immediately screaming out your name. You can’t say anything, the pain is too much.  The man appears at your side, his mouth moves, but all you can hear is ringing.

Your vision goes black.

---------

Waking up in the hospital is never a great experience. Waking up alone in the hospital is even worse. You immediately register a lack of pain, probably from the drugs. You take a moment to orient yourself, looking around the room and remembering exactly why you are here. Reaching over, you press the button to call a nurse.

It’s daylight. Probably the next day. There doesn’t seem to be any cloth dolls roaming the streets from what you can see, so the heroes must have won. For once, you’re actually tempted to figure out what happened.

The nurse appears quickly, looking relieved that you are awake. He begins his own assessments, checking your vitals and asking some questions. He is satisfied with your results and answers, informs you that the doctor will be here to check up on you in a minute, and leaves.

You spend the next however-as-long staring out the window. You’re on a high floor, with a pretty nice view of the city. Your thoughts run slower than normal, but you wonder about your coworkers, the patient, and even the heroes. You hope they’re all okay. You’ll have to ask as soon as possible.

A knock on the door brings your attention to the doctor standing inside the room. She must have walked in without you noticing. She smiles at you and introduces herself.

“As you know, you suffered a deep chest wound due to impact trauma.” She explains, speaking in layman's terms. It’s probably a habit, but you’re too tired to correct her. “We were able to stitch you back up and get you stable. Now that you’re awake, I have full confidence that you’ll make a successful recovery. You’ll have to stay a few days for monitoring, but we’ll get you home soon enough.” You smile and thank her for her work.

“It is a bit strange though.” The doctor continues, looking down at her clipboard. “Your wound appeared under your uniform, but your uniform itself wasn’t damaged at all.” She looks up at you for an explanation, brows furrowing.

“Hah, that's weird.” You mutter, looking away. A moment of awkward silence, then you continue. “Do you know what happened to the other patient taken in at the same time?”

“I cannot tell you the status of other patients, my apologies.” She replies. Incorrect, in a way. You will find out the moment you flash your badge, but you don’t fight it. “Did you know him?”

“Uh, no.” You reply. “I was one of the EMTs that brought him in.”

The doctor looked shocked. “You're...an EMT?” She asked, looking down at her clipboard. She flips to the other side, narrows her eyes, and lets out a frustrated breath. “Why does nobody ever fill these out correctly?!” She mumbles, reaching into her pocket and grabbing a pen. She scribbles something on your chart.

“I’m sorry about that.” She finally looks back up, seemingly a bit embarrassed that she’s been speaking to another medical professional in layman's terms. “I didn’t know. They filled in your occupation as a student.”

“It’s okay.” You give a small smile. “Guess I should be happy they thought I was young enough.” Oh, that was a bad attempt at a joke. Damn.

She places your chart in the holder near the foot of the bed. “The other patient you came in with is being looked over by another doctor. I’ll get the information for you. For now though, just rest. You know how important this stage is.” She leaves soon after that.

You glance at the tv, considering. The news would be on, likely covering the attack in full. But you can feel the drug-induced drowsiness begin. It won't be long before you’re asleep. Turning on the tv doesn’t seem worth it. You look back out the window and daydream.

It takes less than five minutes before you fall back asleep.

You drift in and out of sleep for a while after that, never knowing exactly how long you were asleep for. Sometimes you are awake for longer, as the painkillers stop working and you have to call a nurse for more, and sometimes you are awake for only a minute or two.

The doctor does come back one of these times. As she adds more painkillers to your system, she informs you of the other patient. Apparently, he is stable, and in good condition, although he hasn’t woken up. The doctor in charge of him doesn’t seem to be concerned.

Hearing that is like a weight off of your back. He lived. You did your job and he lived. There were no casualties on your watch. While it doesn’t absolve you of your lingering feelings of regret towards the kid, something inside of you feels just a little more ‘right’ after hearing that. The doctor leaves as you fall back asleep, feeling much better than before.

-------------

You are startled awake by a loud sound.

“Where the FUCK is she?!” A familiar gruff voice. You blink yourself into more consciousness and glance around. Your room is still empty, the screams coming from the hallway.

“Sir! You need to calm down!” Another voice.

“Then tell me where she is!”

“Sir! You’re not allowed to-”

The voice cuts off just as you see a flash of orange and black pass through your slightly open door. The orange pauses, directly in front, and the door opens.

It's him.

You stare up at him in shock from your hospital bed. What the hell is he doing here? The blond is dressed in his hero costume, the same one that you saw earlier but...cleaner. Do heroes have multiple versions of their suits in case one gets dirty? How do you even clean some of those suits? Is there a thriving hero suit cleaning business somewhere? Wait, what are you thinking?

You blink to focus your thoughts. Damn drugs.

The blond hero stomps over to the side of your bed, a scowl on his face. “What the fuck were you thinking?!”

You flinch back at his loud voice. What. is. Happening.

“Why didn’t you fucking move, idiot?!” His voice is a bit quieter this time. Just a bit. “You risked his life, your life, that other extras life, for what?! Don’t be out there if you freeze, dumbass.”

Oh, this is a lecture.

“I couldn’t move him…” You find your voice.

“Hah?!”

“I thought-” You clear your throat. “He might have had a spinal injury. If I moved him, I risked injuring him more, or worse.”  You look down at your fingers, clutching the blanket. When he doesn’t immediately respond, you look back up. Those red eyes are looking at you with a narrowed expression. You can’t read him.

“C’mon, we need to go.” A new, deep voice comes from the door. You look over towards the door, where a man stands in front of a team of nervous-looking nurses. It must be another hero, not that you recognize him. A blue man dressed in a puffy black jacket and blue pants.

“Yea, yea. One fucking minute. ” Ground Zero responds, not looking away from you. “What the fuck were you even doing out there?! You’re not supposed to be inside the perimeter!” Your head hurts, his loud voice echoing painfully in your skull. You want this to be over, whatever it is.

“He survived.” You look back up to him, meeting his eyes as calmly as you can. “Because of what we did , that man is going to live. Without the flare, would you have even seen him? Without Eito using his quirk, would you have been fast enough to save him?”

The blond doesn't seem to react, but you notice his hands curl into tight fists at his side. You can’t imagine what he could say to your words, you speak the truth after all. While it had done absolutely nothing for your team, the flare is what led the heroes to realize someone was there and alive on the street. There is no way they noticed before, or else the man would have been moved earlier. And no matter how quick the blond can move with his explosions, that building would have crumbled on top of all of you without Eitos quirk being able to pause it. The man would not have lived through that. He would have been buried and forgotten.

You continue to meet his eyes. “It’s my job. Surely you of all people would understand, hero .” Your voice is darker than normal, angrier after being yelled at for no reason.

“Ground Zero. We need to go.” The blue man's voice is more insistent. In the corner of your eye you can see a larger crowd has formed behind him in the hallway. The blond straightens up, eyes flickering over you in the hospital bed. The scowl fades into a more confused frown.

“Now.”  The blue man says. No room for argument.

The blond's eyes look at your angry face one last time before he turns and walks out the door with the blue man. The crowd begins to disperse quickly afterward.

“What was that?” Your nurse from before pops his head in, looking between you and down the hallway.

“I have no idea.” You shrug. “My head hurts, though, can I have a bit more of the meds?”

He chuckles, walking over to check if it was possible. A moment later, he confirms. “After all that, sure.”

---------------

You feel more awake the next time you wake up as if you know you’ll be able to avoid sleep for at least a few hours this time. Unfortunately, it looks like the sun is setting outside. You missed the day.

Something new is on the little table beside the bed. A plastic bag, full of probably the items that you had on your person as you came in: your I.D, your work badge, and your phone.  It is the phone that gives you pause.

You think about not looking. It can’t be that bad, right? It’s only been... probably less than 24 hours since the villain attacked. Nobody is going to freak out in that little of a time.  

Who are you kidding?

You grab your phone and turn it on, grateful that it still has battery life. You’ll ask the nurse for a cord later.

[ 10 Missed Messages ]

[ 15 Missed Calls ]

You let out a long breath, skip the messages and go straight to your contact list. There are only two people who would have called you: Dad and Naoko. Naoko, as your emergency contact, should know that you are in the hospital and okay. Dad though… You hit call.

It picks up on the second ring. He screams your name into the phone, making you cringe and hold it further from your face.

“Hey, Dad.”

“ARE YOU OKAY?” He screams again.

“Yes, I’m fine. Stop screaming!”

He goes on. “Where are you? Why didn’t you respond? Are you injured? Should I come get you? I’m coming to get-”

“Dad, stop.” You interrupt. “I’m okay!”

“Did you use your quirk?”

Hesitation. “No. I wasn’t even in the area of the attack. I was at the office.”

“What was with the pause?” He insists. “Are you lying to me? You know you can’t use your quirk. If they find out then…”

You look around your hospital room. “No, I’m not lying to you.” Your heart hurts. Your eyes feel hot. “I didn’t even know there was an attack, really. I was working on this big accounting...thing.”

A long silence where you can just hear him mumbling on the other side. Then, “Just...text or call me next time, okay? I was worried.”

“I know.” You sigh. “I’m sorry. I’ll be better about it.”

“Okay.” He replies. “I gotta go. Talk to you later. Love you.”

“Love you.” And he hangs up. You feel...a bit empty as you lay back against the bed. You hate lying to him, but that's what your life has become.

Your hand rests on your chest, lightly running over the bandage you can feel through the loose t-shirt you are wearing. It’ll probably scar. How are you going to explain that? He’s going to know. He’s not dumb.

Your quirk doesn’t have a fancy hero name, you never thought of one for it and none was ever assigned to you as you are legally ‘quirkless’. It’s a simple quirk at face value, where you can heal hypothetically any wound by touching them. You never tested the limits of your quirk, so there may be some you don’t know of. The wound gets transferred to yourself, healed by a random chance of anywhere between 25-75%. That means that no matter what, the wound is healed by at least 25%, and could be almost completely healed. Cool, right?

Not exactly. You have to ‘roll the dice’ on your own health any time you try to heal someone. If you were to try and heal a fatal wound and get unlucky, you would die. You also cannot control what part of the wound heals in the process. The wound doesn’t heal in a ‘most important’ type way. The 25% that might heal during transference might be the smallest or least helpful part. You cannot rely on it. For example: if you were to use your quirk on a gunshot wound, you may end up with healed skin and no visible entry wound, but have all the remaining internal injuries. Not only could this make dying faster, but it could make it much more difficult for medical professionals to help. It is beyond risky.

Your quirk had manifested when you were about five and playing with some kids at a park. You had initially been really excited at your glowing green hand, despite not knowing what exactly it meant, and ran home to tell your dad. However, your excitement dropped instantly at the look of pure horror on his face. You had been a late bloomer in regards to your quirk and he had been hoping that you would be like him, quirkless.

Instead, you ended up with a healing quirk. Healing quirks are very rare and very sought after by hero agencies. You don’t know of a single person with any sort of healing quirk (big or small) that doesn’t work directly in the hero industry. They are usually recruited at a young age and brought to special training, to hone their quirk as much as possible to use on heroes.

That’s what happened to your mother. She had been a top healer in many large agencies throughout her life. Her quirk allowed her to heal others using her own energy. If she fell asleep or got injured, the healing would stop. Dad says she was always drinking energy drinks and caffeine to keep her levels up. In the end, her hero work is what killed her. You’ve heard the story many times throughout your childhood, Dad working hard to ensure you won’t follow in her footsteps, to ensure that you won't end up a victim of the (as he called it) ‘healing quirk curse ‘.

Well, look at you now. Maybe he was on to something about the curse.

You take another moment to recoup before going back to your contact list. You hit the call button.

[ Contact: Naoko ]

She picks up after three rings. “ARE YOU OKAY?”

“Not this again.” You groan. “Yea, I’m fine. Didn’t they tell you?”

“Well, yea.” She replies, voice quieter. “But it's different to hear it from you versus some random nurse. I tried to come to visit you to see for myself, but they wouldn’t let me in.”

“That’s weird.” You mutter. “You are my emergency contact.”

“I know, right?!” She grumbles. “So, what happened? I assume it was in the villain attack.”

“Yeah.” You begin your story, leaving out Ground Zero (you would tell her later) and just how close the attack had been (it would only worry her). “In the end, some debris fell from a building onto us. That’s how I got injured. Luckily we had the patient already in the stretcher and the team got me to the ambulance.” Your heart pulled angrily at the lie. It always felt bad, but after your phone call with your dad, it just hit harder.

Someday you’d tell her. You told yourself that every time. You trust Naoko a lot, and the girl could keep a secret. It’s just...difficult. Not only would you have to admit that you’ve been lying to her for years (something she might not forgive you for), you’d have to tell her everything . It’s a lot and...something you’ve been putting off for a while.

“You’re gonna put me into an early grave girl.” She sighs. “Talk to the doctors and I’ll come to bring you some stuff. When are you being released?”

“In a few days, apparently.” You reply. “Can you bring my laptop too? I feel like I’ll be bored as hell in here.”

“Of course!”

The two of you talk for a few more minutes before you hang up. You hit the ‘call nurse’ button and wait for them to arrive. Time to find out why your friend was denied access.

[ifbrd]

Not Sugar-Coated, ToBecky Critique from a ToBecky Shipper

Let’s talk about Tobecky and it’s toxicity! And for once, let’s not hold back! I think what I’m gonna do for this post is focus on the dynamic they have in the show, mostly criticizing my own misogyny but calling out the fandom in general as well, as I’ve seen other’s do these same things. Later I will reblog it on the Word Up blog and continue my thoughts on the ship and how it affected Word Up.

The first thing I will say is that I am a Tobecky shipper, ever since Tobey’s first shorts when it was revealed he had a crush on WordGirl. I started watching this show as a kid, I would have been 9 or 10 when it started airing on PBS. If I were to get into this show today, however, I don’t think I would be shipping tobecky, because as an adult I can recognize its toxicity which I didn’t have the proper knowledge or understanding to do back in the day. And I think the real reason I still ship today is purely nostalgic. Though I won’t deny that their dynamic is interesting and that likely affects my shipping brain too.

As a kid, I think I shipped it because, well it seemed inevitable. It seemed like the only endgame option. How many romcoms start with a girl liking one boy, only to realize later she should be with a different guy, usually an underdog the audience is supposed to root for. How many romance stories start with the two not liking each other, ranging anywhere from minor annoyances for each other to full-blown enemies, only to later understand it was all a guise to hide their true feelings. It seemed obvious that Becky/WordGirl would end up with not Scoops, whom she had a crush on, but instead Tobey, the underdog she always was fighting or arguing with. Factor in Tobey’s crush, my very underdeveloped ability to think critically, and the fact that the writers in early seasons seemed to really take the time to focus on the potential chemistry between these two (their interactions in “Department Store Tobey” and both of them having a good time together in “Have You Seen the Remote?” etc) and it seemed there was only one boy for Becky to logically end up with.

The first time I can recall really questioning this ship, I mean really questioning it, was sometime in probably my sophomore or freshman year? Maybe my junior year? I recall my health teacher teaching us about healthy vs unhealthy relationships. In this unit, I realized several of my favorite ships across various fandoms were unhealthy but that’s a whole other topic. At one point I remember him giving his two cents about the phrase “opposites attract” when being applied to romance. He said this can be true, but only if the two are “opposites” in personality, and not “opposites” in values. If a couple’s values, their morals, don’t align, they probably aren’t going to make it. And in all honesty, I think Tobey and Becky have the worst possible combination for this.

They have very similar personalities, and while this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it can make it easier for them to encourage their negative traits instead of helping them overcome them. The traits they both share like pridefulness, attention-seeking, and being a bit obsessive, have the potential to be the traits they bring out in each other. The best counter-argument for this is the fact that Becky is willing to and would call Tobey out for everything wrong or ridiculous he does, and try to help him. But that doesn’t matter if Tobey is not willing to listen to her when she calls him out, or accept her help when she offers it and he needs it. And it’s especially worthless if he’s not willing to help her back.

Meanwhile, the biggest weakness for this ship is their opposite values. Their morals couldn’t be more apart from each other. Get these two together for long periods of time and a morality war would easily ensue. And then combined with if their similar personalities do end up bringing the worst in each other, then any relationship they could have would be disastrous.

The worst issues with their pairing all go back to Tobey. I love Tobey as a character, don’t get me wrong, but we need to be honest, and please excuse the language--Tobey is a piece of shit! He is disrespectful to everyone around him, except his mother, and that’s only because he’s scared of her He thinks he’s better than everyone else and has no issues expressing that opinion, even going as far as to try to define words for WordGirl. He goes as far as to belittle her in “Tobey or Consequences” criticizing her word choice. He has been shown on multiple occasions to lose his mind when he doesn’t get exactly what he wants and will do anything to get it, without regard for others’ property, feelings or safety. He’s manipulative as seen in “Tobey Goes Good” and “Have You Seen the Remote.” He’s unwilling to take responsibility for his actions, as demonstrated when he attacks the candy factory for making candy because he got a cavity, instead of realizing that he should have taken better care of his teeth.

And worst of all, despite what he and the audience often believe, he clearly doesn’t give a single shit about WordGirl. If he cared about her he would have acknowledged her disinterest, if he cared about her, he wouldn’t have tried to force Becky into admitting she’s WordGirl in “By Jove, You’ve Wrecked My Robot.” If he cared about her, he wouldn’t have pretended to be good or trick her into spending time with him or forced her to read poems about him. In the Halloween special he thought Violet was WordGirl just because she was wearing a WordGirl costume, failing to acknowledge that Violet is blonde and white and WordGirl is clearly not.

The episode “WordBot” makes it very clear what kind of relationship Tobey wants from WordGirl--and it’s not a relationship. It’s a dynamic where she simply showers him with never-ending adoration and does whatever he wants. Tobey cares about one person and one person only and it’s not WordGirl, it’s himself.

And I’m not even counting “Go Gadget Go” in any of this! That episode put him in such a bad light that most fans pretend it doesn’t exist because his behavior is so inexcusable. And yet even without that episode, we have plenty of toxicity coming from Tobey’s end.

I once saw someone say they hate the tobecky ship because the argument for it often is that Becky will be willing to put up with Tobey when they’re older. First of all, if that’s your argument in tobecky’s favor you need to go take a good hard look at yourself. Becky putting up with Tobey’s messed up behavior is essentially hoping she ends up in a horrible, toxic, unhealthy, relationship that would be borderline abusive if she didn’t stand against him. Secondly, while I don’t deny the existence of this argument, (I once read a fanfic where the two were married but still a hero and villain who battled regularly) I disagree with the idea that this argument is most often used to justify the ship. Instead, the most common argument to justify it is the idea that Tobey has it in him to change. This is certainly a better argument, as Tobey changing is really the only hope for this ship.

But I think it’s really easy for us, myself included, to struggle with the line between finding evidence that Tobey could change vs excusing his actions; the line between finding an explanation for his behavior vs finding an excuse for him. It’s a very easy line to accidentally cross without realizing it. And it really says something when, as discussed in another post, we are not giving other villains like Victoria--who have more of an “excuse” --the same treatment. It’s incredibly misogynistic.

I’m not going to try to argue that Tobey doesn’t have the capability to be good, of course, he does. We can see this in the cute note he leaves in Becky’s backpack in “Trustworthy Tobey” and in the very last moments in the Thanksgiving special, and of course in our favorite example, “It’s Your Party and I’ll Cry if I Want to.” I’m also not saying that Tobey’s actions and psychology aren’t the product of the environment and circumstances he faces daily. Of course having no father figure present, a single mother who is always working, and no friends is going to affect a child. What I want to question is when is Tobey responsible for his own life, choices, and actions? Maybe not now at age 10-11, but what about when he’s 13? 16? 18? 21? 40? Where do we draw that line? I also don’t want to discourage looking for the good in people and characters and thinking critically about how their past and psychology is affecting their actions. I want to encourage that in all characters, not just the boy who happens to have a crush.

And while it’s nice to speculate that Tobey will follow a better path in the future, not so much for tobecky as much as for the betterment of Tobey himself, we need to realize that it’s just speculation. We have no canon proof of where his story goes post-WordGirl. He has his moments of hope but overall this kid has a terrible track record. When it comes to others, Tobey makes terrible choices. And that’s exactly what “going good” will be--a choice--his choice.

I also want to take a moment to talk about something @fromtheplanethexagon said in this amazing post you should totally read because it’s great. They commented on how very few people when writing tobecky fanfics takes the time to explore her perspective of their feelings for each other. Where her feelings originate and why she would like him. This is something I am absolutely guilty of and will be paying attention to in the future. After reading that passage from their post I thought for a while why Becky would like Tobey, and I honestly struggled with it a bit, which shouldn’t be happening if I’m trying to write a healthy tobecky story. That’s all I’ll say on this for now because beyond this I would use Word Up as an example, so I’ll save that for later.

The older I get the more I realized how toxic this ship is. Heck, who knows what I’ll realize about it in the future when I’m even more mature. In the past I’ve tried to convince myself it’s okay I ship it because I never shipped Tobey with WordGirl, I shipped him with Becky. I know they are the same person, but Tobey doesn’t know that, and the dynamics between him and each of her egos are very different. The dynamic between Tobey and WordGirl reminds me of Gideon and Mabel from Gravity Falls. Meanwhile the one between Tobey and Becky reminds me more of the one between Jimmy and Cindy from The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron. That’s better right? Even if just a little bit? Well no, not really, because we all know darn well if Tobey fell for Becky instead of WordGirl he would treat Becky exactly the same as he treats WordGirl. He would ultimately have the same “WordBot esc” expectations. If anything he might try to treat her worse. With WordGirl there is a clear power balance, and while it’s still technically there with Becky, Tobey doesn’t know it’s still there and might try to use that to his advantage.

And to conclude I’d like to add to @fromtheplanethexagon above-mentioned post (here’s the link again, seriously, read it!). Regarding their final thoughts that it’s fine to explore the ship, and it’s fine to explore the unhealthy parts of the ship. But we need to be careful to not glorify the toxicity of the potential pairing.

[dangerouseggwolfangel]

Truth be told, Sonia was one of the units I was really waiting for in my Askr. Mainly because her connections with many characters are interesting to me, Ursula above all. Want a taste of what I mean?

-------------------

It's been over 4 years, and Ursula was here since the beginning. She has really made a name for herself, helping in all of the wars, partecipating in voting gauntlets and beach trips.

Her aloof personality and perfectionist attitude, along with her peerless skill in magic helped her get a legion of secret admirers among the less experienced spies/assassins/criminals of Askr.

"Ursula is so cool. She is hard to approach but she is so strong and fearless. Whenever I'm on a mission with her, I'm relieved. She is PERFECT. She is so confident and it seems nothing can even hope to bother her."

And then Sonia gets summoned and Ursula's brain turns into mush. Nobody has ever seen her act this way. She constantly comes up with excuses to spend time with Sonia, does everything for her, sometimes managing to bring her what she wants before she even speaks, almost as if she could read her mind, she BEGS the summoner and Commander Anna to get paired with Sonia, with promises of incredible feats of magic that can only be accomplished when two PERFECT mages are completely in sync, something she insists is not possible for anyone except the two of them.

Even worse, when asked about her strange behavior and about her exact relationship with the alluring woman she becomes flustered and angry and nervous, everything she normally isn't.

Nobody can make sense of the situation, until Dorothea connects the dots and compares Ursula with some friends of hers that acted similarly in the past:

"I know what's going on. There is only one explanation for her sudden change. Ursula is... a useless lesbian. Probably the kind that denies the truth even to herself, poor dear. There is one person we can ask to confirm it without a doubt."

And when asked about it, Plumeria confirms: "yeah, she's really got it bad. That ugly woman is the protagonist in all of Ursula's dream. In some dreams they walk together holding hands the entire time. In others Sonia praises her in public, proclaming that Ursula is the only person worthy of her time. They even go on romantic dates. How indecent, to think she would have such lust for a married woman. You humans are disgusting."

This discovery caused a minor scandal. Some of Ursula's admirers were heartbroken by the revelation that the invincible woman they adored like an idol never existed. Others were happy to know that she was just a normal person after all, with emotions and flaws. It humanized her and they found that, if anything, this made her even more amazing.

------------------

So, at this point maybe I should really start making fanfictions, analysys, headcanons and all that good stuff. I can't always count on others to make the content I want to see, I have to contribute. Anyway, just so we are clear Ursula having the big gay is an headcanon. Sure she ADORES Sonia, she lives and dies for her, her summer alt thinks about how Sonia would look in a swimsuit and start giggling (this is true, look it up) but we live in a world that still denies that there's something going on between Raven and Lucius, so nothing short of an actual declaration of love will make it canon, despite all the evidence.

Anyway, despite my deep fascination for their dynamic, I don't really ship Ursula and Sonia. For me (like 99% of villains) they can both be redeemed, but they just aren't... good for each other, you know? Sonia is interesting. All morphs are perfectly aware of what they are and there's no reason for Nergal to lie to her, since she would have been obedient either way. The only explenation is that she knows, but lives in denial which is what makes her interesting. Ursula is interesting too. She seems to need the validation of a person who is her superior, a perfect being, and she is completely fine with being used like a tool by her mistress, knowing full well that if she ever disappointed her it would be all over. YIKES! Honey, you need to stop objectifying yourself and change this toxic way of thinking. You deserve better than this.

They are horrible for each other. Ursula keeps feeding Sonia's massive ego and makes it way easier to live a lie instead of facing the truth. Sonia needs a partner who is capable and charismatic (she only interacts with PERFECT humans, remember?), but also not a simp. Someone who won't fall for her tricks and will actually confront her. And Ursula simply needs someone who would love her as an equal.

Clarisse would be a good girlfriend for Ursula, they are similar in many ways, and could bond over their traumatic past (ok, we know nothing about Ursula's past, but come on. You don't end up being an assassin without some trauma). Another option would be someone who appears inherently superior, like a queen, which would make Ursula want to serve them, and then be surprised when she gets treated well. Elincia? Eirika would be an option too. But definitely not Edelgard. Edelgard x Ursula would be cursed for many reasons.

Sonia is a bit trickier. The best candidate would be someone with a lot of life experience and a sharp tongue. She doesn't need kindness, she needs a big, fat "reason you suck speech" to destroy her before she can build herself back as an healthier person and only after she is at peace with herself the relationship could start. Maybe Michalis? As someone who also had both his pride and body destroyed and managed to come back as a better person he could do the trick. I'm sure there are many other options I'm not thinking of.

So in conclusion, Sonia is cool. If people won't start making more content for her now (other than the horny content which is 100% coming. Plumeria is disappointed but not surprised) I might have to take things into my hands.

[otomelavenderhaze]

I was actually feeling pretty guilty in liking the “Seduce the Villain's Father” because of how the story starts off with a kidnapping and the marrying situation, that I will explain further. Not mentioning that Yenni, the female lead, has a real need to be around Eru, the male lead, if she doesn’t, she could die, like literally. Btw, spoiler alert ahead from the light Novel and the Manhwa.

So convenently and in a very pushy matter, everything on the plot try to tie them up together in the start.

The kidnapping and the marriage proposal from her part are the strings that tie Yenni and Eru together, so they would know one another better and actually fall in love. If wasn't for that, they wouldn't have spend any time together because, at first, there is no reason to. Then we found out that Yenni is sensitive to manaa and Erudian's devine's powers are the quickest and the harmless way to keep her from dying, since all she needs literally is stand besides him to get energized by it.

And basically that's when Yenni comes up with the marriage thing that I mentioned before, yep, she asks him to marry her numbers of times throughout the manhwa hoping that he could say yes... Because he is the perfect medicine for her condition and because she wants to save him... It's not because she is in love with him.

So the marriage for her is more a matter of convenience, than love. Which, I need to admit, bugged me so much at first.

But then I understood why they did it when I read the Light Novel and saw some of the spoilers.

Eru was bond to marry the real Villain from the history, Elard, for polititcal reasons. Elard’s plan is marry him for his divine power, so through their son, she could create a path that would lead her to control someone that has divine and dark power together (since she does have dark powers, that Eru KNOWS NOTHING OF). Her goal is reach the god’s world and be powerful. Of course, she would make their son kill his father, Eru.

Yep, my boi Erudian was bond to die by the ends of his own child, all planned by Elard that actually wants to kill Eru since the beginning.

Erudian is afterall, a direct descendent of the god Raulus, the being with the strongest divinity power and his children would also be born with those powers. That's what Elard wants, like I already said.

Yenni knows that, because that world actually belongs to a novel that she read in her previous life and got in by mistake after dying in another world (our world).

When she got into the novel’s world, she knew everything that could happen, everybody that would eventually die or suffer through it.

Starting for her pregnant sister that would be kidnapped by Eru, that kinapping would trigger a chain of events that would basically deeply hurt Yenni's new family and other characters around her, that she cares about because a) she read their sad story on her previous life and b) because now they're ppl that cares for her in this new life, so she cares for them too. 

Interesting thing tho: Yenni should be a side-side-side character, she is a such minor character that none of those sad and hurtful events would actually harm her. So she could've lived a peaceful and good life if she wanted to.

DESPITE THAT Yenni, instead of letting Eru kidnapping her sister, hid her sister and tried to hide from him - but Eru actually found Yenni and kidnapped her, since his goal all along was just kidnapping someone from the royal family to use as hostage. I guess what he wanted was some vantage in an economic and political situation that Yenni's country created with his own, so that he would make tbe negotiations go his way. 

I don’t know, the whole thing is complex, but I guess, Eru isn’t what you could exacly call as a good person or a benevolent Emperor.

He is actually kind of a jerk. 

And problematic. I admit. 

He never learned to have emphaty towards others, - since he became the Emperor in a young age and since he had no family around him that could've taught him how and care about something else besides the country’s political's interests. 

With that, the romance was really settle in a weirdly way for me, very pushy, despite the art being so soft and the characters being really interesting, I was worried for where it would go from there. 

Since yeah, Erudian is a jerk. Kidnapping. Marriage by convenience. Not really the most promising mix. 

However, I think that Yenni is the character that really makes the difference on that type of plot. 

She was really well placed and well thoughtout. Everything Yenni does comes from a base of personal interest, she have strong motivartions for everything, she’s quite brave too despite the weakness of her body and petite figure. 

But most than anything, Yenni feels strongly responsible towards those characters because of what she knows all the awful/harmful things that could come out from the plot without her interference. And since he’s the only one that really knows the extension of their traumas, she feels responsable for doing something about it, not only for them, but also for herself. 

Look, Eru won't always act like a hero, but Yenni always acts like one. 

She isn't a genius, her plans fails and she don't really get always the outcome that she wants, but Yenni don't stop trying, because it's not only about Erudian's survival, it's about her survival too, it's about not letting someone meet a horrible fate when you have the means to do something about it.

Even so Yenni isn’t hopeless good. 

She chooses to act upon the things that she knows that going to happen. 

She isn't pushed towards it only for morality, it's for survival, it's for taking the chance and making a choice for the a better outcome, because despite being kidnapped by Erudian and him not being the most benevolent Emperor, dying by the hands of your own alienated/corrupted child and letting that same child be born to hurt her sister's baby girl (the actual heroin of the Light Novel that Yenni read before), is out of question to her.

But I will give it to Eru: everything he does towards Yenni is actually a reaction of things that he observe her doing. 

He starts to take the action only after taking a like for her as a person. He doesn't care for her just because. He cares because she is something that he feels responsible for, someone that depends on him (since he was the one that kidnapped her) in a more personal matter than the rest of his subjects.

Yenni, on the other hand, since their first encounter, make him step back with every action and choice that she makes. 

Yenni shaked his whole world with her determination, honesty and endearing careless manner, he sees everything good on her, everything he lacks himself and he loves it.

There is a moment on the Light Novel when even Yenni's plan of make Erudian marry her starts to backfire, because she actually starts to fall in love for real for him.

And the story progress to a point where: a) Yenni could be cured of her sickness without actually having to marry Erudian to do so; b) When Eru actually learns that Elard is trying to harm him and will not marry her no matter what and c) Yenni has the chance to come back to her country and be free from Eru and never having to meet him again if she wants to.

Despite that, and maybe because the same circumstances that put them together starts to force them to be apart, they actually do the last step to be together. 

That's when their first kiss happens. When the ppl that are meant to take Yenni back home are at their doors and Erudian is thorn for having to be apart from her, because, dammit, he loves her already.

Erudian fells in love for Yenni, cuz she is harmless, he can relax around her and she actually makes him feel like having a good time, because she is so cheerful, always teasing and playing around, so different from how anyone has ever treated him, that he simply fell for her. 

From Yenni’s side, Eru is actually far more unpredictable, far more fun and far more caring than she expected him to be, not mentioning that he is quite helpless without her, which is so cute as well. 

So they get apart from one another by 2 years on the light novel. 

On those two years they only exchange latters. Yenni has no obligation to marry Erudian and she is out of his hands, despite that, and despite having plenty of suitors around her, Yenni still chooses Erudian.

So he tries to propose to her this time (WHAT GOES AROUND COMES BACK AROUND, SON), despite Yenni’s country having nothing that could be beneficial to his country and despite her family hating his guts (haha, karma).

And just like that, they fixed the main issues of the story. 

Mind you, this will happen in THE MIDDLE of the Manhwa.

Maybe the writer was mindful of all those plot's issues since the start, all the things that ppl are sick of and so many other Manhwas have no issue on doing, the writer decided to actually fix while delivering character's and relationships development.

I just love this surprise, I love Yenni's journey for survival, love and pursuit for her own happy ending. How everybody points her to be the weakest, but she still stands for what she wants and believe to be right, how brave and kind she is despite of being so powerless and how she changed everything around her, how she saved herself and the ones around her.

I saw a lot of ppl calling her clingy and boring, just because she isn't a villainess, but they failed to see that woman is normally perceive as the weakest and that's when we can take the stand and show our strongest resolves. That's why I loved the story so much.

I'm still so obsessed with it, I can't wait to see everything in the manhwa that btw, still has a really long way to go, even the light novel trasnlating still hasn’t catch up with all the spoilers that I caught on by other’s ppl translate from random events from the light novel in korean - that is done for what I heard of, the autor is just releasing side stories now. 

It's a really good, strong and heartwarming love story, I love all the characters, I love how everything changed it's flow accordingly with the changes that Yenni caused and the new choices that all the characters made. It's shows that it's never too late to change, to take action and find happiness through diversity and pain.

Maybe that's why I'm so invested on it, because Yenni's and Erudian's love surprised me in the best of ways.