#he's so happy that Kaneki has Anteiku to support him

[kyanitedragon]

[captain-astors]

01 Tokis Ghoul :)))

Awful takes ahoy

Favorite character:

It changes frequently but Takizawa has permanent residence in at least the top 3. Recently I've been liking Shikorae.

Least Favorite character:

I've mentioned that the worst offense a character can make is being boring. So I probably don't remember them at all, but of the ones I do know :re Touka. She's so sadly bland and it just feels like her personality hasn't been developed just taken down a couple notches. I like her so much! I don't like what was done with her.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Oh god, in no particular order:

If I had to pick one of the big three kaneki ships: Shuuneki. shuunaki because I read a couple good fics, utaren's very interesting to me romantically and platonically, I heard of Eto Itori and Rize once and it's lived in my mind since. And then one of my many rarepairs that will seem weird or outright nonsensical is furushuu. I won't bother attempting to explain, I'd get nowhere, but if you were me it'd seem so interesting I promise. My favorite genre for all of these except for itorizeto (of which I just think they should conquer the world, the way their names connect so easily makes me happy. They're entirely there if you look at them individually, but as a whole they also overlap with each other!) is one-sided affection. I'm a fan of pining.

Character I find most attractive: 

I've never really sat back and gone "wow that is a pretty person" while reading Tokyo Ghoul. The closest I've gotten was seeing an Ayato cosplayer just pick up a person and carry them, matsumae for a moment, and when I first got into the series, Shuu.

Character I would marry: 

Kanae.

Character I would be best friends with:

Kanae, Kurona, and Nishiki seem cool but they'd hate my guts! Anyone that comes to mind first as an interesting as a friend would probably want me dead, So Hanbee or Koori. They could learn to tolerate me.

a random thought:

When tumblr starts being thirsty over “that old man” I do think of Kureo Mado (Akira’s dad) I Am Sorry. I will not change.

An unpopular opinion:

This fandom is too dead for me to know what a popular opinion is so: Kaneki isn't that interesting after the tsukiyama extermination arc, and Touka's speech to him when he came back to Anteiku did literally nothing. Touka and Hide's influence gives Kaneki brief moments of clarity before doing something stupid that'll hurt people, and then he does the stupid thing that'll hurt people anyways but we should root for him anyways because he's thinking of them... Is suppose.

My Canon OTP:

This is a funny one because I am either neutral or outright annoyed by most canon ships. I guess Nishikimi, they support and love each other and Kimi’s character couldn’t be assassinated to love a man because it was a quality of her personality from the beginning, and even if :re doesn’t devote too much time to her she’s still an influential and decent character.  

My Non-canon OTP: 

I kind of ship almost anything that drifts my way a little bit and nothing passionately. You could give me any of the ones I've mentioned and 50% of those I haven't and I'd go "yeah sure that one"

Most Badass Character:

ETO YOSHIMURA MY EVERYTHING, I don’t care how many times Kaneki changes his hair color she is unmatched.

Most Epic Villain:

Furuta and his weird methods. It’s unfortunate we never got a real idea of how strong he is because kingneki got a final form complete with religious imagery to crush the sinner! And barely took a scratch that entire fight. Seriously if the early confrontation with an aggressive bisexual with a poorly thought out plan trying to eat your main character is more intense than the final fight of the series with a character who’s a living manifestation of all of the issues that characters in this series suffer from, both on the receiving and giving end, I feel like it’s all gone off the deep end.

Pairing I am not a fan of:

The two weirdly-prevalent-in-the-old-fandom cousin pairings. Yes the one-sided attraction is canon, they’re still cousins and I don’t like it when that obsession is romanticized even when rewritten to be “ethical” otherwise. Unhealthy pairings can be interesting if handled well but they’re also related. But if you want my petty "nothing wrong with this the vibes just aren't it" answer, Hinami and Ayato.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

Is all of them an option. Mostly joking but really, so many of them never got a good resolution or were straight up abandoned by the narrative but it's okay because look! Main character got a happy family! Not sure how because from the state we saw him in earlier I don't think he's fit to have a stable friendship let alone a wife and two kids but alright I guess kisses cure issues. I feel the worst for Takizawa, Furuta, Shuu, and Mutsuki currently because I'm thinking about how they never got a good resolution.

Favourite Friendship:

I’m making it friendshipS because there is no way I could limit myself to just 1, Chie and Tsukiyama, Shikorae and Takizawa, the clowns in general, the quinx squad in general, and I know it's not nearly canon but Furuta and Eto were made enemies BECAUSE GOD WAS AFRAID OF WHAT THEY WOULD ACHIEVE IF THEY WERE FRIENDS. I like to ponder the mischief and mind games that would ensue they're so awful.

Character I most identify with:

Oh I'm not self aware enough for this one assign me a person if you wish! I've been made to take quiz things a few times and I believe my results from those have been taki, kuki, and furuta but I don't trust my reading comprehension skills, the quiz makers opinions, or my own answers enough to trust that.

Character I wish I could be:

If we're just talking abilities, Shikorae. If you mean "You literally have to become them", unfortunately how fun it would be to play their role comes hand in hand with trauma, Touma Higemaru perhaps. Bikakus are my favorite kind of Kagune, and he's a pretty blank slate. I could do a lot, anyone with more intrigue ends up dead or completely alone.

I had a lot of fun with this one.

[scariusaquarius]

to taste the freedom of peace. 1.

Ken Kaneki x Female! Human! Reader

Synopsis: Anteiku is one of your favorite coffee spots in Tokyo. When a new worker suddenly pops up, you can’t help but notice.

-

A/n: literally everything else I was TRYING to write wouldn’t let me because I know im too focused with Tokyo Ghoul. Ugh. Anyway, this takes place shortly after Kaneki became a ghoul, so Anteiku still exists

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Genre: Romance, Friendship Rated: Everyone Warning: Fluff, Sweet themes

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Author: ScariusAquarius

- 

It was raining in Tokyo on a Monday morning. As the rain fell, pedestrians of all kinds were hustling for cover, using whatever it was they had in their hands for cover.  You sighed as you watched the world cry, sipping your coffee slightly, your copy of The Black Goat's Egg lying open and forgotten.

Thunder rolled through, shaking the sky and café, and you sighed. It looked like you weren’t going to be going anywhere any time soon. However, instead of being upset, you were happy to be able to get out of your home for a while. With all the new ghoul incidents happening, you had been reluctant to go anywhere…but you can only last for so long before the cabin fever sets in.

Besides, you knew you were in a safe place. Anteiku was a lovely little coffee shop just down the street from your home, and you knew the owner by name. You frequented the place ever since you found it, coming in almost every single day for coffee and a quiet place to read. You knew all the workers, the little girl and her mother, and some of the other regulars. All pretty friendly people. It made for a homey atmosphere.

Finishing your cup of coffee, you pushed the cup away before focusing on your book, losing yourself in the words for a good long while. However, a new and unfamiliar voice interrupted your reading.

“Sen Takatsuki, one of the best-selling horror novelists in Tokyo right now. What’s your favorite part?”

You glanced up, spotting a new face that you had never seen at Anteiku before. Truth be told, he was cute in a boyish, nerdy way.

The boy seemed to be right around your age, black hair cascading around his face, and a white eyepatch covering his left eye. His uncovered eye was a beautiful shade of ice blue, looking almost grey in the sunlight. A cute smile was on his face, and the boy held a new cup of coffee. He was shaking, nervous to be in your presence, and you smiled up at him politely.

“She’s actually one of my favorite authors, so this is my third time reading through her works. Takatsuki is a literary genius, and her use of metaphors and imagery in her works is extraordinary, especially in the prologue. It’s actually my favorite part of the book. What about you?”

The man seemed elated that you were indulging him with a conversation, and he set down your cup of coffee. His ears turned pink a bit, and he answered honestly.

“I enjoyed the prologue as well, but Takatsuki Sen’s debut book is actually my favorite.”

“Oh, is it?”

You thanked him for the coffee, taking a large sip before glancing up at the ceiling as thunder shook the café and lightning struck the sky.

“It’s been raining all morning…makes you wonder what has the sky so sad.”

The boy looked surprised as you gazed out the window for a moment, staring up at the rain, and he asked you.

“Why would the sky be sad?”

You sighed and set your cup down, glancing down at the book that was open before you. A small smile graced your lips and you looked up at the boy.

“Doesn’t everyone get sad sometimes?”

You chuckled at the stupor you seemed to put him in, and you decided to introduce yourself to the new worker.

“You’re very new. I’ve never seen you here before. What’s your name?”

“My name is Kaneki. Ken Kaneki…what’s yours?”

You held a hand out for him to shake, introducing yourself.

“My name is (L/n). (Y/n) (L/n). Would you like to sit with me?”

Ears turned pink as Kaneki processed your request. You wanted him to sit with you? Kaneki rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment, but pulled out a seat while replying softly.

“O-Okay.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his shyness, asking him to divert his attention from the immediate situation.

“Hey, Kaneki? Do you like the rain?”

Kaneki looked at you with interest before gazing out the window.

“Sometimes. It really depends on what kind of day it is. What about you, (L/n)?”

You rest your chin on your hands, watching the water run down the window for a moment as you thought about what to say.

“It can make me sad sometimes because I wonder what it is that made the sky so upset. You can just tell when the world is sad, you know? Rain feels different depending on how the world was treated that day. Sometimes I like the rain, and then other times…”

Your voice trailed off as you lost what to say, and Kaneki offered gently.

“…other times you can’t stand it?”

You glanced at Kaneki before nodding, looking away again and taking a sip of your coffee. Sighing in delight, you murmured.

“Yoshimura taught you very well, Kaneki. This coffee is great.”

“You know Yoshimura?”

The boy looked shocked, maybe even worried, and you laughed lightly.

“I know all the workers here. This is my favorite coffee shop in town. I live just a few minutes away from it, and I like to come here to pass the time.”

Speaking of the old man seemed to summon him, the old man approaching your table with a soft smile only a grandfather could give.

“She’s here every single day once her morning classes are over, save for Saturdays and Sundays. I see you’ve met our newest addition to the family, Ms. (L/n).”

You smiled brightly up at Yoshimura as Kaneki observed the two of you in shock.

“I have. You taught him very well, Yoshimura. His coffee is almost as good as yours.”

Yoshimura looked pleased at that, nodding his head to you in respect.

“I am proud to hear that my efforts were not in vain, but as I always say: the most important thing about brewing coffee is how you approach each coffee bean. Really, the person you should thank is Kaneki. He brewed the beans himself.”

Kaneki looked embarrassed by the praise, but you simply nodded.

“Well, he makes a fine addition to the team. I’ll be glad to have someone to talk to.”

Smiling at Kaneki, you stood up as a timer on your phone went off.

“Looks like it’s time for me to go. I don’t want to stay for too long with it getting dark so quickly. Thank you for your hospitality today, gentlemen.”

Kaneki asked you in concern, glancing outside as it continued to pour.

“Are you sure you’re going to be alright walking by yourself in the rain? You might get sick…or worse.”

The thought of a ghoul getting you made Kaneki’s skin crawl, and he almost fainted when you simply said to him.

“I’ll be alright. I appreciate your concern though.”

Nodding your head to them both, you walked out, saying over your shoulder.

“See you again soon, Ken Kaneki.”

Kaneki was at a loss as he watched you walk out into the rain. It was even more stupefying when he watched you stop, look up, and close your eyes. For a moment, you looked like peace incarnate, and Kaneki was immediately drawn to that freedom.

To say he was excited to see you again was an understatement.

[CHAPTER TWO SOON]

IF YOU ENJOYED THIS WORK, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT AND REBLOG. PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR CONTENT CREATORS.

[maerceci]

hide appreciation post

a list of the many incredible things hide has done:

• became kaneki's voice

• reached out and befriended kaneki

• was there for him when his mother died

• saved kaneki's books

• inspired kaneki to look forward to college and leaving his home

• saved him from nishiki

• protected kaneki's identity from a ghoul cult club in kamii

• saved his fellow cult members

• gave coffee to a starving ghoul

• supported kaneki in his job at anteiku

• revealed relevant intel that saved several lives

• brightened up ccg with his presence

• inspired amon, takizawa, and shinohara to work harder

• read kaneki's books in order to understand him

• placed himself in danger multiple times just to help kaneki

• helped convince arima to spare kaneki's life

• sent kaneki a book signed by his favorite author for his birthday

• saved kaneki from takizawa

• got rid of kaneki's loneliness

• supported kaneki in everything that he did, both in real life and his hallucinations

• inspired kaneki to live and save others

• never laid a hand on kaneki

• saved kaneki's life more than we can count

• helped marude come to terms with the truth concerning his friend

• led the ccg

• fought for ghouls despite the fact that he possibly lost his father from them

• inspired humans and ghouls to work together

• united humans and ghouls

• saved so many lives

• fought and continues to fight for peace

• pushed his love aside to ensure kaneki's happiness

[waraupiero]

Yoooo, good to see you back Ren! ^^ Any thoughts on the recent Tokyo Ghoul chapters? Because I still can't get over it and I'm crying all the time ;__;

gabriela!!! hey it’s so good to see you too, i’ve missed you!!

yeah i have some thoughts, but it’s just so much to take in i’m still reeling over it as well, ahhhh. of course i’m still rereading the chapters and trying to break down the kaneki + furuta connection, since they’re meant to be foils, i feel like … but at the same time i also have some thoughts about furuta’s connection to donato, considering that the two of them both laughed until they died … (if furuta has died. which i think is possible, but if these past few chapters have taught me anything, it’s to not assume someone is dead unless it’s confirmed in plain, understandable text)

with kaneki and furuta, what interests me most is the way they communicate with each other. furuta’s story was really something i wasn’t expecting to see. i thought they would go all out in a very shōnen-style fight, and just have furuta commenting snarkily about kaneki’s ‘hero complex’ or whatever, nothing too deep. and sure furuta did kind of do that, but he got more carried away than i thought he’d be, and he really let out what he felt about the world … which was surprising to me, because furuta never struck me as a guy who’d reveal so much about himself and his own thoughts. i guess on a certain level he must have recognised the similarities and the connections he has with kaneki … i just don’t know how conscious of them he is. does he look at kaneki and wonder what could have been? could he have fully been integrated in either human or ghoul society at a point? could he have had that kind of family or support system? does he think about stuff like that?? i don’t know. but if he does that’s really sad and i’d be sad rip

because it certainly seems possible that there could have been a chance for him to live some other kind of more normal life?? like yeah, he’d still die at 30 or so, but as a kid he took that news so well, saying that he’s gonna live the most out of life before he turns 30 … and i wonder what he encountered that twisted that kind of attitude. like, of course, i know what happened with rize, and his experience within the washuu family … but i’m curious about the little details, like what other things he might have read, conversations he might have had with people, etc. … because as much as kaneki’s perspective has been adjusted by anteiku, furuta’s understanding of the world must also have been influenced by the washuu’s … and i really wonder how they would talk to a kid about things like that. and how they would raise a kid like furuta. probably not super well … and considering that the furuta branch isn’t all that important … idk what kind of philosophy or language furuta was raised in/around

on the other hand, donato … i think it’s telling that both the leaders of the clowns died laughing … indeed, the clowns get the last laugh. although we got to see what furuta was laughing at, we didn’t get to see what was in donato’s mind at that time, which makes me really curious … was he thinking of amon when he was a boy, together with the other kids? was he thinking of amon as his son? and perhaps how ridiculous but perhaps miraculous that experience was? i used to think donato’s laugh was desperate and mocking, but could he have felt? something positive? that makes it so much sadder … furuta’s laugh was positive … he was a kid again, playing with rize and having fun … but that was so heartbreaking to see. nevertheless i’m glad that it seems like he was reliving a genuinely happy memory at the end … that was nice

[whenwillsherlockgetmilk]

Peaceful Flames

A continuation of my firefighter au. 

Part 1   -    Part 2 

5504 words. 

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The TV blurs, the sound of the bustling cafe fading in her ears. Everywhere she goes, she can hear the crackle of a fire, or the stench of smoke. There's always a sense of dread she feels when she sees even the smallest fire, or hears about one on the news. Even the wisps of cigarette smoke is enough to make her anxious. Without fail, she'll be reminded of Anteiku. It's been a couple of years since the coffee shop burnt down, and, as the manager had promised, they opened a new one - :re.

Her thoughts are disturbed when the bell rings, signalling another customer. Yomo is there, but there is an uncomfortable silence, one that radiates to her - and she is in the back room. God, it's like he wants to scare the customers away.  

Groaning, she goes out front, prepared to do his job for him.

'How many time have I told you-'

However, Touka freezes, stunned to see a familiar face, wearing a firemen's uniform. Slowly, she approaches, keeping her eyes trained on the man.

She bows in respect - she practically owes her life to him.

'It's been years, Kaneki.' Maybe it's impolite, and she's desperate to add an honorific, but he doesn't seem to care, pleased that she remembered his name. After all, he did ask her to only say his name.

'Hi.' His tone is breathless, taking in her features. Her hair is light blue, dyed, both shorter and fluffier than he remembers. Her face is gentle, developed, holding a small smile.

If he thought she was cute then, he was wrong - she's beautiful.

It takes them a while to recover, and when Kaneki snaps out of it he realises she is staring too. In her defence, it's hard not too, with his matured features, and his defined jawline. She hopes she's not drooling.

'Coffee?' Touka breaks the silence, gracefully leading him to a table, automatically entrancing him. Everything she does seems to be lead with poise, and he's sure there's a hint of blush on his cheeks.

'Oh, um yeah!' He sounds a little too enthusiastic, flushing as he watches her leave to make his beverage.

She feels embarrassed. It had been years since she had seen him, and their last meeting was when she had cried into his chest. The way he held her is something she still remembers. She almost doesn't realise the coffee's done, too engrossed with her thoughts. Making her way back to him, it feels like his eyes are glued on her, and she doesn't know how to feel about the attention.

'Here, Kaneki.'

'T-Touka-chan,' They are strangers, but say each other's names as if lifelong friends. He is a flustered mess - his lips feel dry, and he feels too distracted to even try drink from the warm mug almost burning his hands.

Why, after being in her presence for a mere ten minutes? (He knows why)

It's probably too ambitious of him, but there's something thumping in his chest, and his pulse quickens whenever she waltzes into his view. People are always telling him to take initiative, to not hold back, to make his own decisions, and this could be the perfect time to try. Or the worst.

'I,' he licks his lips, mustering his courage. The words had been floating in his head since he sat down, but with her in front of him, he feels too distracted.

'Can I see you again?'

-

A year really goes by quickly.

It's all been pure bliss. Spending time with Touka is one of the highlights of his day. Thankfully, she hadn't rejected him, and their dates had been very pleasant. Kaneki is grateful that he managed to stumble into her café after that exhausting day.

He visits her during her shifts, when she's too busy to stay and chat, and Kaneki's contented with simply watching her from behind his books.

-

On some random day in March, a couple months into their relationship, Touka had dropped something into his unsuspecting hand. Something gold, that caught the light. He instantly recognised that ring, noting that it still looks as shiny as when it came into his possession. She didn't get rid of the chain either, which he found positive. At the time, he wondered if she would be weirded out but his adjustment, but Kaneki would prefer it if she didn't lose it again. Especially after her reaction. Years had passed since then, and he still remembers her shaking frame, flush against him, and how he boldly clutched her close to him. The tears had dried on his shirt, but they engraved onto his skin, a constant reminder of her sorrow, that Touka deserves to always be happy.

He'll make sure of it.

Thoughts had been bugging him lately. Recently, it had occurred to him that Touka spends much more time at his apartment than at hers. A couple of months ago, her brother - Ayato, if he recalls - had turned nineteen, and is technically old enough to live alone. And he wouldn't even be alone. Hinami lives with them, and she too is now an adult, though she's always been the responsible one. Maybe it's selfish, but he really wants to have Touka beside him everyday. To eat breakfast together, and lunch, and dinner, and to come home to her open arms. It's too good to be true, and he wants to have the constant reassurance of her beside him, to have her close to him. He can't think of anything better than waking up to the sight of her every morning (her coffee's pretty good too).

There's a lot of planning, trying to think of ways to ask her. He had even asked Hinami, who was very supportive and excited for them. Ayato however, took a little persuading, and he was very grateful for Hinami's presence, for she wore him down.

'At least you're not asking her to marry you, cause you wouldn't get my blessing.' At Ayato's comment, Kaneki turns red, and a little apprehensive. That sort of future with Touka-chan sounds really nice. Ah, he's thinking ahead.

Once he's back in his apartment, it feels much emptier without her presence, even though he had come to this many times before. He shouldn't be getting his hopes up, should he? Shaken out of his thoughts, Kaneki hears the door rattle, and the audible thump of shoes being carelessly flicked off.

'Touka-chan?' Oh god, he's not ready. Sweat forms on his forehead, and the beat of his heart is quicker than it's supposed to be.

'Hm,' she comes in the room to Kaneki, who looks very shaky 'What's up?'

It's now or never.

'C-can we talk?' Touka stills, shocked. That's what people say when they want to break up, right? But this is Kaneki, so she should listen to what he has to say. She doesn't want to lose him, though.

He notes the deep breath she takes, and she sits beside him, almost apprehensively.

Kaneki is quick to grasp her hands, finding comfort in her warmth. God, he feels better already. He puts one of her hands on his heart, so she can understand his anxiousness. Though Touka finds the gesture weird, she doesn't have time to think about it when he slowly begins to talk.

'Do you uh, maybe,' He cringes as his voice goes higher, 'wa-want to live with-with me?'

Please say yes.

Her eyes snap to him, stricken. That's not what she expected - it's better.

'I-I...' her mouth opens and closes, unsure. Would Ayato and Hinami be okay by themselves? Of course they would, they have Hinami. But would they be okay with her living with her boyfriend? Maybe. It would be easier to not to have to travel to both their apartments. And he's already given her his spare key. And she really wants to. The thought of his strong arms holding her in the morning while she steals his warmth sends flutters in her chest.

'Yes.' Her voice is meek, but music to Kaneki's ears.

Thank god, he thinks, as he hungrily pulls her in for a kiss. Their tongues mix, eagerly, and even when Kaneki has no breath left, he wants to keep going, because Touka-chan's lips are just so soft. She returns the sentiment, as she lets out a disappointed sound when they part, panting slightly.

'See you, Touka-chan.' Unfortunately, he has to go to work straight after, but he's on cloud nine, and even Nishiki notices.

'Who sucked your dick?' He comments, but Kaneki doesn't care, not now.

-

It takes a lot longer than expected.

Unexpectedly, Hinami and Ayato weren't surprised when she told them she was going to be living with Kaneki, and Ayato had even commented 'good riddance'.

With their busy schedules, it's hard to find time to move her things to his place, and Touka's usually too tired or too distracted to pack. Her and Ayato spend too much time arguing over things that are obviously hers, and Kaneki argues that he has the same things.

'But it's different.' She huffs - she's already let Ayato keep almost everything, but she really wants that bunny plushie. Ayato will just have to give it up. He had spent years saying that he doesn't care for it, but the second Touka wants it, he's all over it. Hopefully Hinami can convince him, everyone knows Ayato's putty for her.

It sits proud on top of Kaneki's wardrobe, watching over them.

-

'Hey.' Kissing her on the cheek, Kaneki blurts a heavy sigh when he takes his hard hat off, relived to be free. He shrugs off his jacket as Touka makes a cute noise of recognition.

There are still boxes to unpack, but all of her stuff is in his apartment now, and Kaneki could care less about finishing it today. Work is really draining, though he does enjoy it. Helping people gives him a deep satisfaction, that he's needed—

He freezes when she suddenly comes behind him, taking a tuft of his hair, and inspecting it.

'It's getting a bit long, don't you think?' She comments, Kaneki chuckling in return.

'I guess so.'

'I'll cut it if you want.' She's still holding it, admiring its softness.

'Really?' He gasps, feeling himself fall for her even more. Touka replies with an 'of course', before going to grab scissors and a towel.

'Sit down.' Her hands press down daintily on his shoulders, leading him to where she wants him to be. His ash hair is quite straight, so she doesn't feel the need to wet it, and is content with running her fingers through dry locks.

'Lets do this.'

The snips of the scissors are audible, as are her soft hums, which he closes his eyes to focus on.

'Shit.' She mutters, but Kaneki doesn't notice.

The humming stops, along with the snips. He feels her hand brush at his neck, flicking away any stray hairs.

'That tickles.' Kaneki giggles.

'Man up.' Passing him a mirror, Touka winces as he studies himself, putting a hand where his bangs used to be.

Maybe she shouldn't have offered.

'Wow!' He comments, with an unreadable expression 'It's perfect.' Adding a small, sheepish chuckle, he hears Touka groan behind him, her head in her hands.

'I messed up again, didn't I?' She made the same mistake with Hinami years ago, and with Yomo. This should've been her opportunity for redemption. Why does she always make the same mistake?

'Don't worry, Touka-chan.' She can hear her heart thump, his kindness showing in his smile. 'It'll grow back.' His hair does grow pretty quickly.

'You idiot.' She murmurs, before kissing him.

-

At least his hat can cover it.

It can't.

-

'What is that!?' In the changing room, Nishiki guffaws, flicking Kaneki's exposed forehead. So maybe he did a bad job at hiding the bad haircut.

'It looks fine.' He lies, not wanting to offend Touka at all. 'I-uh... I'm going for a new look.' It was very sweet of her to offer, though Nishiki looks unconvinced. He tuts.

'That's not a fucking haircut, only an idiot-'

'Don't make fun of Touka-chan!' He interrupts, Nishiki watching in amusement.

'Oh? And who's this Touka-chan, Kaneki?' He smirks, watching him go red.

'N-no one...'

'Really?' He deadpans, looking him dead in the eye. Kaneki is a terrible liar.

'It's funny, the name sounds familiar.' He does recall hearing it once. Pondering on it, Kaneki gulps when he sees Nishiki's glasses glint, a smirk tugging on the corner, knowing he's caught onto something.

'That girl from that coffee shop!?' Remaining silent, Nishiki gets his answer.

'And you didn't think to tell me, I'm insulted.' He mockingly covers his gaping mouth in astonishment, and false disappointment. Kaneki gulps, it's been over a year, and he didn't want Nishiki to know. Nishio-senpai... can easily insult people, and he's afraid they wouldn't get along. Of course they wouldn't.

'I can't believe you, Kaneki.' Tutting, he puts on his sweater, turning back to look at him.

'I can forgive you, however, if you let me meet this woman.'

-

Pausing outside the cafe's entrance, Kaneki peers over at Nishiki dubiously, who is smirking.

'Don't...' He trails off, knowing his partner's behaviour. Nishiki would do something stupid, or offensive.

'Don't worry,' he winks, only heightening his suspicions 'I won't ruin your chances of getting laid.'

Kaneki is a blushing mess as he stumbles after Nishiki, who enters the shop in a boastful stride.

'Kaneki?' Touka asks, seeing his red face and a stranger behind him 'Who's your friend?' She knows him, remembering glimpses of him being there when Anteiku—

'What can I get you?' Nishiki says nothing, going closer to her. He scrutinises Touka, looking at her every feature. Kaneki watches, slightly confused, and slightly annoyed.

'You got yourself a cute one, Kaneki. What'd he do to land you?' The question is referred to Touka, who simply ignores him.

'Did he pay you or something?' Nishiki tries, and Kaneki blushes, ready to defend himself.

'T-tha— That's not... I didn't-.'

'I'm kidding.' He turns his attention back to Touka, 'Formality aside, I want to know the details. So Touka-chan,' Nishiki continues, blatantly ignoring the helpless man beside him, 'Does Kaneki here satisfy you?' Kaneki sputters his coffee, and Touka fails to hide her chuckle. She'd be calling glasses a pervert if her boyfriend wasn't having such a reaction.

Touka taps her cheek, as if truly thinking about the question, and for a moment Kaneki is terrified. Urgently, he sends her a look, as if saying 'don't answer him'.

'I'm sure he learns something from all those books he reads.'

'He must have quite the imagination.' Nishiki sighs, exasperated, 'He can't even hold off at work.'

This isn't what's supposed to happen. They're teaming up on him. Nishiki he understands, but his girlfriend. At this rate, he'll die of embarrassment.

'He really is a closet pervert.' Before she can reply, Kaneki slams a hand on the counter, louder than he intended, and Touka is thankful the shop is empty.

'Y-yes, that's very amusing, b-but, we have to go now.' Hastily, Kaneki stands, preparing to leave. His companion tails him, and both stop when Touka calls out to him.

'Kaneki, I'll see you at home.' She smiles at him, and Nishiki gapes, looking at Kaneki.

'You live together!'

-

'That was exhausting.' Kaneki complains, collapsing onto the bed beside Touka, who is happily reading her manga. Nishiki had given him so much grief when they left, demanding to know everything. He groans into a pillow, and feels her body shake beside him, chuckling. 'And I'm not a pervert.'

'Don't worry, if you're anyone's pervert, you're mine.' She strokes his hair, lightly massaging his scalp. He closes his eyes, relaxing, and moves even closer to her, resting his head on her shoulder.

'Yeah, but you guys were double-teaming me.' Grumbling like that, he sounds like a child, Touka laughing beside him. The sound is enough to momentarily distract him, as it's rare to hear her laugh, and it's too angelic.

'Don't sulk.'

'Hm...' Distracted, he feels a quiet, peaceful lull take over him, and he beckons Touka to come even closer to him.

'Lets just... stay like this.' He murmurs, pressing his lips to her forehead. Luckily, his eyes are closed, and he fails to see Touka's unusually pink cheeks, flushed with embarrassment. He's too sappy. Still, she craves his contact just as much as he craves hers.

'Okay.'

-

Sometimes they argue, because Kaneki is a huge dork.

'Touka-chan!' He takes the candle from her grasp, quickly blowing it out. 'You can't do that, it's a fire hazard.'

'It's just a candle.' She remarks, and Kaneki gasps, as if offended.

'Touka-chan, do you know how many fires I have to deal with! Because of this!' He points at the object, glaring it down - Touka has to suppress a giggle. She regains her composure, continuing with the debate.

'Hey, I paid for that! It's scented.'

'Safety is worth more than money.' Kaneki chides. She sighs.

'Fine, but you're paying me back.' He doesn't have to know it's fake. After all, she's still afraid of fire.

It's a peaceful life.

-

The irritating chime of his phone wakes them up, Touka turning in bed as Kaneki shoots up, quietly conversing. She can't hear the conversation, but can guess what it's about when he grabs his clothes.

'Do you have to go?' She whimpers, watching him put on his uniform. It always hurts her to see him leave for something so dangerous, and he knows it.

'Don't worry,' he chuckles, giving her a free smile 'I have a very capable team.'

'Yeah, if you can call shitty Nishiki capable.' Grumbling, she pouts at him, Kaneki finding it really cute. Titling her chin, he places a light peck on her lips, smiling when she reciprocates with more fervour.

'And besides,' he adds, making a show of putting her ring on his neck, 'As long as I have this, I'll be okay.' Blushing, she looks away, and when Kaneki finishes with his last button, he gently pushes her down to the bed, staying so close that she can feel his breath on her face.

'It's too early, go to sleep.' He leaves kisses all over her face, lingering on her lips before taking one last look at her as he sets off. She hears the door close softly, and curls up. His job is so dangerous, and she hates having to wait for him to come home covered in ash, and reeking of smoke.

Despite him reassuring her, she can't sleep, stumbling to the living room. She makes herself a coffee, and sets herself in front of the television. Turning it on, she goes to the news, biting her fingernails anxiously. Before she started dating him, she always ignored the news, but now she is always putting it on when he's gone. It's the only way she can know he is safe.

'What the fuck...' The news is chaos. There are sirens blaring, and reporters hastily talking, and Touka gulps when she sees it.

The fire is large, engulfing the unfortunate building. It's bad, worse than Anteiku. The realisation makes her shiver, and she almost shouts at the TV when she sees Kaneki. He's a mere dot in the background, and her hands clench when he begins to take in the severity of the damage. He murmurs something to Nishiki, who give a heavy nod in agreement, and they go in together. The rest of the firemen follow, and she watches as they come back one by one, carrying a different person, then storming in again. At one point, her eyes catch him before he disappears into the building again. Her body hurts when she sees Kaneki. He looks haggard, completely in focus, only from the spilt second she catches. Staring at the screen, she feels dread as she watches Nishiki come out, saying something to their chief.

There must be so many people, and her heart leaps when Kaneki doesn't come out. Faces she recognise have come and gone, even Nishiki, but she can't see him once.

'No no no.' Where is he? A part of the building collapses, and she is immediately putting a jacket over her pyjamas, slamming the apartment door shut.

Where am I going? The location isn't that far a run, but she's not entirely sure where it is. It doesn't take long to find it when she sees smoke from behind a few skyscrapers. The sirens are getting louder, and an ambulance passes her, and she finds herself running after it, though it's not like she can keep up.

It's much worse in person. The flames reflect in her eyes, and she feels something worse than fear.

She manages to sneakily duck under the tape that keeps the public away, approaching the members of his squad. Nishiki curses as he sees her, grabbing her to keep her from getting any closer. Her eyes scan the crowds, and he can see she is worried beyond belief.

'W-where's Kaneki? Where is he?' She thrashes against him, feeling her desperation increase when he doesn't answer her.

'Oi, calm down.' Nishiki keeps her in a tight lock. Breathing heavily, she uses all her strength to try and push him, her delirious state not doing much.

'Please,' Touka sniffles, talking to herself, 'Don't leave me alone.' She can't abandon him either, and she is close to tears as she sees another part collapse, and no Kaneki. Nishiki looks at her with sympathy, and begins to stroke her hair.

'He's an idiot, but not that much of an idiot that he'd leave you, okay?' The contact brings her comfort nonetheless, and she calms down slightly, watching the wreckage. Nishiki' right, he's strong, and he has her ring. So he'll be fine.

-

Breaking the door down, he is thankful when no-one is there, but scared. He has no idea how many people are left in the building, and he can't leave anyone behind.

Something crumbles, and he feels the floor give way, mind going blank.

Time passes for dust to clear up, and he doesn't know how long. His vision is halved, and he realises he can only see out of one eye. He feels hazy, gasping when his legs throbs painfully. Glancing at it, he curses at the state it's in, buried in rubble. Blood drips from his head, and when he shakily touches the wound his whole hand comes back red.

First things first, he needs to get his leg out. Pulling, Kaneki hears the disturbing snap of bones as he tries to free his foot. It twists, uncomfortably, and all of his body feels like it's on fire. Finally, his blood covered leg is released, and the pain is a dull throb, probably from shock. He gets up, slowly, gritting his teeth, and hobbles.

This is bad...

The fire is spreading. Suddenly, the smoke is thicker, and Kaneki drops to the floor, though it doesn't make a difference. Coughs wrack his body as he scans for an exit.

This is hopeless.

His hands fish around, clawing at his chest as he pulls the ring from underneath his vest, clutching it tightly. The chain burns against his neck as it snaps, but he doesn't care as he grips it with all his life force.

A source of strength.

'Touka,' he breathes, chanting her name. He had promised her he'd return safe, and how pathetic would he be if he can't keep that promise.

His heart aches as he thinks of all their days together. Once upon a time, she was in the exact same position as he is now - fighting for air, forcing her limbs to move. Touka is strong, the strongest person he's ever met. She's beautiful, and smart, and stubborn, and his world.

Had he ever told her he loves her? It's all he can think about, usually, but had he ever said the words aloud. What a terrible boyfriend he is.

The flames gather around him, tauntingly, as if closing in. Uneven, broken ground is digging into his back, and his throats feels dry. Something else crashes, and the ground shakes a little, even more unstable. If he's going to die, Touka has to be his last thought.

He can't stay awake. Just as his vision fades, he feels someone grab him.

-

Nishiki is still holding her when they see a disorientated Kaneki being carried out, and Touka immediately detaches herself to run to him.

'Kaneki!'

They put him on a stretcher, immediately throwing on an oxygen mask. His eyes flutter, and all he can see is the smoke filled sky. Vaguely, he can hear his name being called, but pays no heed to it, not noticing Touka by his side.

They're on the ambulance now, and she tries not to be in the way of the paramedics, who are bustling about.

Some of his skin is ripped, and half his face is covered in thick blood. His hair is stained red, and he looks a little delirious, like he's in a dream. His hand is clenched, tightly holding something, and her heart catches when she realises it's her ring.

An angel towers over him, an angel with dark hair and concerned features that looks exactly like—

'Touka...' everything's a blur. There's a pressure on his hand, but his whole body feels numb 'T-Touka... wh- what are you... doing here?'

The vehicle stops, and she runs after them as they pull him along. He is still trying to talk, feeling himself choke up.

The doctors are telling him to stop talking, that he should just focus on conserving his energy, but he can't hear them, only thinking of Touka.

'Kaneki...' Like her voice, her hand wavers, not sure where to place it without hurting him. Slowly, his hand lifts, trying to hold her cheek, but he is too weak, and Touka settles dancing her fingertips along the unblemished part of his jawline.

'You'll be okay, you know that, right?' His head is rolling, eyes dropping, and Touka is terrified. Her words are becoming rushed and desperate, and he can no longer find the strength to speak, feeling the corners of his eyes go dark.

I've worried you. I'm sorry, Touka-chan...

-

Fading in and out of consciousness, Touka can only watch helplessly as the doctors take him away, leading him through doors she isn't allowed to pass. A magazine sits on the desk, which she skims over anxiously, waiting for any news. The hours tick by, and each time she approaches the desk, they offer her no news, leaving her to worry.

'He's not dumb, you know.' The paper flies to the floor, and Touka can feel her pulse quicken at Nishiki's interruption. They sit side by side, and Touka finds the floor much more interesting. She can feel Nishiki's gaze on her, observing her, and she hates it. Biting her lip, she feels her frustration build up, and is about to retort when he interrupts.

'Getting pissed isn't gonna help him.' Her teeth grit, eyes burning slightly.

'Well what do you know.' She grumbles. They are left in silence together, and Touka finds it oddly comforting to have at least some company. That is until he gets up, stretching out his limbs.

'He'll be fine.' he says, before leaving. Touka says nothing, staring at the clock. How long had it been? It's dark outside now, and empty, only her and the useless receptionist sharing the space.

It takes two days. Ayato and Hinami stop by briefly, more than once. They give her several spare changes of clothes, and she's not even allowed in his room yet.

'You can see him now.' Touka knows the receptionist is talking to her, because she is the only one in the waiting room.

She rushes as soon as she's given his room number. Finally... The door crashes open with her haste, and Touka's heart falls because Kaneki isn't awake yet, just... sleeping. He's almost unrecognisable, covered in bandages, and bruises. His snow-white hair is no longer tainted in red, but is wrapped in an off-white bandage. It worries her, and Touka's blood runs with dread when she takes in the one on his left eye. The blood is seeping through; she sucks in a breath, desperately trying not to crumble. Kaneki's not dead, and that's all that matters.

-

Am I dead?

There's something uncomfortable with his eye, and the fluorescent light bursts in. He hears ruffling, and suddenly Touka is there, features marred with concern. There's nothing better than waking up to a loved one, he thinks, and he takes in her face, trying to memorise it.

'Beautiful...' His voice is hoarse, raw, and it makes her breath hitch. 'Am I dreaming?'

Wait...

With desperation, he tries to sit up. The familiar slope of her fingers push his shoulders down, gently.

'Don't move.' Touka whispers, 'I'm here.' She gets closer to him.  

His body aches, arm burning as he reaches for her cheek. Her skin is radiating a warmth only she can give, and he blurts a gasp of relief. Touka, here, with him.

He doesn't have to ask her what happens, he remembers everything.

'You know I love you, right? More than anything.' His voice cracks, and his throat hurts, but Touka has to know, he can never leave again without her knowing.

'O-of course. And I-I love you.' His expression melts into a relaxed one, like he had stupidly thought otherwise. Her hand brushes the bandages, barely touching him, and he winces.

'Is your eye okay?' That's the question of the day, and he can't answer her.

'I don't know, I haven't been told me anything?'

'Does it hurt?' She offers.

'No, not really. It just feels kind of... numb.' Is that a good thing?

They are interrupted when a group of nurses come in, tending to Kaneki; they tell her she should go home, get cleaned up, so they can change all his bandages. And that she's been waiting for days.

He protests, but Touka hushes him with a quick peck before she is gone. When she comes back, an hour or two later, she sees Amon leave his hospital room, solemn. Her footsteps are hasty as she enters his room, seeing his head hung, fingers clutching the blanket. Whatever news Amon told him couldn't have been good.

'What's wrong?' He flinches, and she knows he had been too absorbed to even notice her. Biting his lips, he glances at her, and he looks so fragile that she runs to his side, holding his arm. Shaking it, she frowns, not used to her cheery boyfriend being so unresponsive and sombre. And she hates it.

'Kaneki, are you alright?' Maybe it's cruel to ask him that, because it's obvious he's not.

'No no, I'm fine,' he pauses, and she whispers in his ear for him to continue. 'It's just that... Chief told me that I'm in no condition to work anymore.' His voice goes quieter, struggling to get his next words out.

'Amon-san, h-he told me that... it's too dangerous for me to keep working. Ap- apparently, my eye's too damaged to recover. I'm done.' He splutters, voice breathless and cracking as he buries his face in his hands. He is silent as Touka latches onto him, trying to comfort him.

Maybe he's being selfish, crying like he is now. It's fake when he chuckles, because Kaneki is Kaneki, and he will always try to lessen the burden on others. Touka doesn't know what to say to him, and he feels guilty, wanting to break the silence; she shouldn't have that look because of him.

'My eye's fucked up,' he says, his lip trembling. Right now, he's all over the place, mixed with emotions - this time, he can't. He can't keep himself together, strong. It's hard - Kaneki's just lost his livelihood, and Touka knows exactly how it feels. There's silence, and the stupid thought of eyepatches crosses his mind. A tear is on his cheek, clutching her shirt as he hides his sobs, burying his head in her chest. His body shakes, and doesn't let up even when she plays with his hair, and strokes his back. It reminds her of something, that this situation has happened before. She almost lets out a bitter chuckle - a role reversal, huh? How cruel.

'What will I do now?' He cries, hopeless.

There must be something that can soothe him.

'Work with me. I-in :re.' Her hands dance with his fingers, anxiously waiting for his response. Is that the wrong thing to say, insensitive, after knowing that he's just lost his job. Is it selfish, to want him with her? His sobs clear up, looking at her with something in his eye that she can't place. An intense adoration.

'Really?' He says meekly, fiddling with his hands. Touka offers a warm smile, one that has him transfixed. How can such a perfect person exist?

'Of course.'

[lilacflamesss]

ive been meaning to ask you but what do you think about what happened with hinami in the latest chapter :(( our ayahina D:

I love her, of course, she’s my Princess who can kick ass. :D I got kinda annoyed when it did come out because I felt like her character went backwards? I thought her slapping Kaneki and questioning him in Cochlea meant that she had stepped away from her fixation on him and I really regarded that scene as a huge step for Hinami’s character when she questioned him about his flaws. So seeing 142 was a little upsetting for me because, like she went back to what she used to be? Or at least that’s how I saw it the first time I read the chapter. But my interpretations of that scene with her keeps changing ever since the chapter came out. 

At first I thought she had romantic feelings for Kaneki, but I’ve been hearing that the original Japanese raws don’t seem to imply it? Idk but, either way, the more I think about it, the more I feel really sad for her because let’s be honest, she’s very distant from both Touka and Kaneki right now. 

I was thinking about how Hinami used to be really close with Touka and Kaneki back in the beginning of TG. They were like a mini family of their own and Hinami was always being doted on by them. Even during the post-Aogiri arc, this still continued when Touka and Kaneki were apart and Hinami, who was in touch with both of them, was one of the things that were still keeping them together. Her reaction to Kaneki wanting to go back to Anteiku was that she’ll be happy to see Kaneki and Touka together again. I think deep down, she just wanted that mini family she had back together again and she still keeps holding onto that dream. 

But in :re, her relationship with both of them had deteriorated. Not to say they don’t care about her or anything, but the distance between them had grown to such a huge degree. And in a way, even Touka and Kaneki had gotten distant, but they managed to close that distance recently and really fast as well but there had been no development to Hinami’s relationship with them since she hasn’t had a conversation with either of them ever since they got back from Cochlea and no, her fighting together with Touka and asking Touka to go on ahead doesn’t count.

 So in a way, she’s watching Touka and Kaneki move on and take their own relationship to the next level, while perhaps feeling left behind, 

which is why she’s looking at their backs as they look on ahead. 

Not to mention, when they do have a kid, where would Hinami stand? I’m sure that Touka and Kaneki would still consider her as a part of their family, but the issue here is, would Hinami realise that they actually do, since she believes that she has to prove herself before being able to gain a spot beside them? 

The Hinami in Aogiri was her when she believed she no longer had Touka and Kaneki in her life. It was Hinami standing on her own and acting on her own. She was a respected leader among her underlings and one her peers looked up to and relied on as well. Chapter 33 wasn’t just Ayato standing up to Tatara. Ayato had the support of Miza, Naki and Torso in this-- they all wanted to save her. Miza points out how rare her ability is. Torso had previously also admitted how amazing Hinami is. She was a central figure of their circle. 

Perhaps joining Goat and having Touka and Kaneki back into her life had resulted in her relapsing to what she used to once be, because she’s once again pushed to the sidelines and being made to rely on people, particularly Kaneki who’s the King. Almost everyone, aside from Touka who’s pregnant and probably excluded herself, were involved in some form of mission or at least some strategy meeting when they were in the 24th Ward, except for Hinami. It probably explains the return of her former mindset and why she seems to have gone backwards with her character development.

And with that, her world is back to what it used to be-- Touka and Kaneki.

Hinami probably feels really lonely right now, just like how she felt really lonely after her parents died and in a way, left her behind. Hinami’s relationship with everyone from Anteiku and the 6th Ward gang isn’t what it used to be (eg. that scene she had with Banjou about Akira). She’s not as close as she used to be with them anymore. 

It also probably doesn’t help that these feelings might have all rushed out and intensified with the raid and the danger everyone’s in, which resulted in her desperation to prove herself and to protect everyone in the current arc.

Which brings me to my next point. :D A smiley face to start of some Ayahina discussion. Also, if you’re gonna be a salty asshole about Ayahina, just don’t read any further. 

I wouldn’t write off Ayato’s significance to her as a character just yet. I think it’s worth noting that he’s absent as all these events played out since he’s busy being Dora the Explorer with his squad and those kids right now. If Hinami has all these conflicting emotions within her right now, she’s only left with the option of bottling everything up because her number one confidant is absent right now (for god knows how long as well). 

Even if she isn’t comfortable with telling him about how she longs to be like Touka, does that mean she won’t be comfortable with talking about how weak she feels and how she feels left behind? 

No, because they’ve had that conversation before. 

It was the same with the Akira incident– Hinami’s side of things wasn’t really being considered and she was essentially left alone to deal with her own grief, which was when she turned to Ayato for support.

Ayahina’s relationship is currently very one-way: Ayato’s the one who’s always giving and Hinami’s the one who’s always receiving. She’s always voicing out her troubles and he’s always the one listening to them and at most, giving her one or two words of comfort. Their relationship (outside of work) is structured in this manner, which is probably why in the novel, Hinami seemed to believe Ayato is a quiet person who doesn’t really talk much. And as much as I used to think it was maybe him trying to live up to the Uncle Yomo 2.0 role, it probably was meant to reflect this about their relationship. After all, he’s a pretty vocal person in manga canon after all. (I could also go on about how she had no idea what he was thinking of, while he’s able to easily read what exactly was on her mind, but let’s not go there.) 

But just like what people have predicted beforehand, Hinami breaking out of her old Touka/Kaneki-worship will probably involve Ayato in some way. Her relationship with him is probably the relationship where Hinami has the most agency in. To Kaneki in Goat, Hinami plays the role of support but to Ayato, she’s his ears and let’s not forget how crucial a rabbit’s ears are to a rabbit. Ayato leaves command to her in Auction-- she was essentially the Vice-Commander of the Aogiri team in Auction. She practically stood by his side when they were in Aogiri. 

And if she can stand beside the SS-rated Aogiri Tree Executive Rabbit, then is she truly as weak as she claims to be? Hinami’s fixation on Touka and Kaneki blinds her to this fact. She’s never truly been given a chance to fight alongside Touka and Kaneki for her to see for herself that she isn’t falling behind or holding them back. Even when she fought to protect Touka in this arc, Hinami was on the losing end and she ends up being saved by Kaneki. It’s because of this that she fails to see her own other achievements and that her, as the SS-rated Yotsume who stood above even the leaders of the White Suits and the Blades in Aogiri Tree means nothing to her, not when she isn’t able to help Touka and Kaneki out without ending up a burden to them. 

Which is why I think, it will have to be someone from the Aogiri squad who makes her realise this eventually, because they’re the only ones who had never treated her like a child. But Naki is gone now and I doubt the other White Suits would bother. Between Miza and Ayato, it’ll likely have to be Ayato, who she’s already established a deep bond with.

Also, at some point in time, Ayato’s increasingly stagnant character will have to go through some development as well. His character arc is far from complete after all. In fact, his issues with Arata hasn’t even been touched on in :re at all. When the day comes where the this plot point is addressed, I wonder if he’ll end up turning to her just like she turned to him about her own sorrows about her parents. If that happens, their relationship would also break from that one-way path it currently is taking and it’ll become on based on a more mutual sort of emotional dependence. 

Idk. 

TLDR: Hinami best girl. 

[dreamofcentipedes]

Do you agree with Linkspooky meta about chapter 125?

Drawing me into the tumblr drama, eh, anon? Because we have very different interpretations of the overall trajectory the series is going to take, our views are naturally inimical, and I don’t really want to start anything that might be considered ‘beef’, because you see…

But you did ask, and fandom’s full of debate, right? Because it’s quite a lengthy meta and I want to provide a sufficient rebuttal, this post is pretty comprehensive and/or exhaustive.

Along with theme-related disagreements, there are two major things in the meta that I take issue with: 1) Itpresents a lot of assumptions as fact without making the case for them, and 2)It expects Ishida’s moral system and values to match the analyst’s own, even ifthere isn’t any evidence for it. I’ll be coming back to these two here and then. 

Early on in the meta it makes the argument that the final panel is unlikely to be a 19 because usually reversed Tarot are simply presented as upside down in the manga whereas this one is mirrored. But later, it goes on to argue the case for it being a 16, even though no matter how the image is moved, the 16 will remain in the wrong order, whereas at least in a mirror a 19 can clearly be made out. For that reason I would definitely say a 19 is more likely and could possibly even reflect (lol) Kaneki and Touka’s parallel development.

“Sex isn’t really a net positive or a net negative, it’s just neutral”

This is really justa personal opinion stated as fact, and ignores the very real and very powerfulemotional charge of 125. Such an objective view is far from universal, and inmany circles sex is triumphed as the ultimate form of love, which, I think, iscloser to what Ishida’s view is, judging from the care and dedication he tookto drawing 125. And again:

“having sex doesn’t really resolve any of Kaneki and Touka’sissues” 

This reduces theact to just a quick shag without acknowledging the clear emotional significanceof the experience for both the characters, proved both in the chapter andbeyond it. Sex does really resolve their issues when both of their issuesrevolve around the need to be loved. The comment is a subtle reductio ad absurdumwhich tries to instantly dismiss an argument without really fighting it.

“Having sex, or advancing their relationship might solve theirrelationship arc, but it’s tangential to their individual characterarcs.”

Again, itunderplays 125′s significance and the enormous impact a sexual-romanticrelationship can have on one’s character - it seems like it’s trying toclinically separate the two when, the way I see it, the relationship arc hasbecome a major part of their individual characters now. Just look at the endingnarration for Ch 131: “A reminder that the two of them wereonce two”, i.e. they are now one.

“Kaneki isn’t really experiencing a happiness of his inner spiritthough, considering he started crying in the middle of sex and could notexplain why.”

This is another example of stating assumption as fact. I really don’twhy everyone assumes crying has to be a negativething when tears of joy are a well-established concept. He leans intopassionately kiss Touka right afterwards, so why do people assume his heartisn’t in it? I would argue that he does explain why, butchooses not to do so with the unreliability of words, but the certainty ofaction in the kiss. And again, with evidence from recent chapters, he’sclearly drawing strength from his relationship with Touka in trying times forhim.

“There’s also the fact that they’re having this sex in the darkness,with black borders around the panels and constant cut to black. I hope thismakes a good case for why I think the sun isn’t exactly the perfect fit forthis scene.”

Not really, becausethe final page of the chapter is bathed in light, specifically for the sake ofshowing the illumination in their lives, the way I see it. Furthermore, thepanel specifically makes use of that darkness to make it seem as though lightis emanating from Touka over the naked Kaneki, strongly paralleling the SunTarot.

The darkness does in fact serve one of the purposes the meta argues for- to close them off from the rest of the world. But even then theinterpretation of that feature feels unnecessarily cruel. It goes on to arguethat Kaneki and Touka are being selfish for forgetting the troubles of theoutside world for this one brief moment. Considering everything they’ve beenthrough, and all the incredible effort they’ve put in (and are still puttingin, as the following chapters prove), to punish them for relaxing for a few hoursjust seems brutally unfair. Like yelling at Churchill for pouring a brandy in his room after a day hard spent towards the war effort. If this was just sex for the sake of distraction,then why dedicate a whole chapter to it? Why focus so deeply on the strength ofthe emotions involved, and why portray it so beautifully? As we have seen fromthe following chapters, no-one has suffered as a result of their actions,Kaneki and Touka are still working diligently for the future of the Ghoul, andin fact this experience has strengthened Kaneki’s resolve tofulfil his duty as the One-Eyed King rather than undermined it.

That white hair isGiri, not Ninjo. Kaneki stuck his head in the sand as Haise and wilfullyrejected the greater concerns of the world as the Black Reaper, but his senseof duty now is stronger than ever by working in tandem with his feelings ratherthan against them. Having one night of relaxation with a loved one is in no waya neglectful failure of duty, especially when it’s only improved his workethic.

The next partdoesn’t really make much sense to me:

“In a way it’s an unequal love because Touka can never value Kaneki theway Kaneki wants to use her, as a reason to live, as a symbol for all the goodthings that make life worth living.”

Yet not that long ago I was arguing against a meta by the same authorclaiming Touka had an unhealthy and unrequited fixation with Kaneki. Toukadefinitely wants to be a source of support to Kaneki, but that’s because shewants to return the favour for how he once supported her, knowing how much of adifference it makes first-hand. What we’re seeing with Kaneki now is not allthat different to what we were seeing with Touka back in the original manga’sfirst half, and as such, it is both equal and balanced. I’ve just seen so manystretches from people trying to find ways to claim their relationship is unhealthy,when there’s barely been any circumstantial evidence to suggestthat, let alone definitive. If you’re shooting from a tragic axis, then focuson all those death-flags in recent chapters instead - even though I thinkthey’re red herrings, they’re at least more substantial than this ‘toxiclove’ angle I keep hearing about.

“That being said, defining yourself entirely by the relationships youhave in your life and trying to keep them around is in and of itself aflaw.”

And see, this goes back to my major issue #2 with this meta. This isjust a personal opinion. There really has been very little in the manga tosuggest that Ishida thinks the same. I hear this statement like it’s a giventruth, but really Tokyo Ghoul has been much more focused on finding the right people to rely on than giving upon them altogether. The concepts of both :re and Anteiku are heavily lauded byall upright characters in the series and by the series itself; both Kaneki andHinami’s lives going off the rails upon leaving them and various troubled livesfinding peace within them – Yoshimura, Amon, Akira, and pretty much all ofGoat. These two cafes are founded on the story’s very heart, the current serieseven being named after the latter, and they are institutions that representcommunity and family, not strong-willed independence. Both Touka and Kanekihave been punished for trying to take that latter route and are now only nowfeeling something close to peace because they have embraced the former. Thewhole struggle between Humans and Ghouls exist because they reject interspecies relationships andstubbornly persist on their own path and their own way of being. So for thatreason, I highly doubt Ishida shares the same individualist outlook, whetheryou consider that to be personally right or not. His sympathies, and those ofthe series, lie on a more communal and social axis – a kind-of “power offriendship” for adults, acknowledging the rocky roads that relationships can godown, but for the sake of both parties, insisting that they’re worth preservingnonetheless. Tokyo Ghoul triumphs ultimate interpersonal understanding overindividual integrity as the way forward for societies and ourselves.

“At it’s core it’s a struggle of people from two different worlds trying desperately to connect.”

This bit I agree with! Touken is a microcosm of Ghouls and Humans trying to understand each other. Only because to me the relationship seems so clearly positive, I take that as a symbol of hope for the triumph of peace between Ghouls and Humans as has been the goal from the series start. :re is not the same story as the original was and so is free from its trappings of Tragedy; making it possible to view its developments under a very different, and in my opinion more precise, lens.

“Re: and Anteiku before it was a place where both of them were sheltered and allowed to be mostly innocent to the world.”

No, not really. Touka dealt with her father being killed and lived on the streets as a predatory Ghoul before coming to Anteiku, and even when she was there she became embroiled in Investigator-killing and various loved ones put at risk of death. During Kaneki’s time at Anteiku a loving mother was murdered before his eyes, he fought a Dove who detested his very existence, he was almost made into a meal twice by an insane cannibal who pretended to be his friend, and he was kidnapped and tortured for two weeks. In no way can they possibly be considered to be innocent to the world during their time at Anteiku, and the claim holds even less water when referring to :re after everything they’ve been through in the first series. It’s an attempt to paint Anteiku and :re in a negative light when there really isn’t one.

“At some point theoretically the idea is that Touka and Kaneki will decide for themselves what they view as right and wrong, rather than following simply what Yoshimura or Arima told them, or endlessly substituting new parental figures to guide them.”

This is again a substitution of the analyst’s own rhetoric over Ishida’s concepts. Yoshimura’s ideology has no need to be replaced, because the story has only ever lauded his stance, and Touka is clearly benefiting from following his ideology (calmer, wiser, gentler) as well as providing a positive influence to others (through creating a home for them in :re). Yoshimura’s legacy ought to be honoured and not simply thrown away because it’s not Touka’s original idea; no ideologies really are original - you pick up everything from somewhere. Touka has chosen of her own will to adopt Yoshimura’s ways because she has seen firsthand the good it can do people. She’s not blindly obedient - she is capable of thinking otherwise and disagreeing with Yoshimura, as she did plenty in the original series, concerning how to deal with the Doves, Kaneki’s kidnapping, and his decision to save Touka from the Anteiku Raid - so why should her growing respect for his ways now be childlike deferral? Kaneki likewise has his own reasons for continuing Arima’s legacy, as Ishida has taken care to point out for us:

Kaneki is equally capable of turning against his mentor as he demonstrated when he physically fought against Arima. Respecting and adopting other people’s ideas is no great sin if it appeals to your already present sense of right and wrong, as is the case with both of these two. As for the parental figures part, that returns to the “finding the right people” argument I made earlier. Young people have a natural need for an older generation to guide them as they come into their own, as they have now. Demanding that they leave that hole in their heart empty as they continue to make poor, uninformed decisions is like telling a child to skip high school and go straight to work. Both Yoshimura and Arima have made a great contribution towards these two finding their own identities, and towards a huge and necessary step in resolving their parental issues before they can pass into life’s Adult Stage. 

“Surely she did that because she wanted to love a man, yet you say she wanted to be loved. It’s a good summary of their relationship and the tragedy of Touka’s own self conflicting selflessness.”

I agree with the Adam and Eve stuff as they will effectively be the parents of the new world of the Half-Ghoul ideology, but not the conclusion drawn from Eto’s speech; isn’t the point that she wants both? To love and be loved? Isn’t that exactly what Touka has received?

“Characters consciously wanting to change but being unable to do so is basically the theme of the past ten chapters.”

…But they have changed. In the past ten chapters before 125, and the chapters after them, characters have been addressing their past mistakes and moving beyond them. Their core desires may remain the same but that’s what makes them them. That’s what good, realistic character development is; to change their behaviour and their outlook without ever changing them into a completely different person. Amon has moved past his grudge against Ghouls and even the specific Ghoul that killed his mentor, and hopes to create what is a truly righteous world; Akira has come to drop her father’s vendetta and understand Ghouls as people; Urie is placing his morals above his position in the CCG; Saiko has finally decided to make a stand; Takizawa has found purpose and selflessness in his life once more along with something like a reason to live;and finally, Kaneki and Touka have talked over their relationship that has thus far been fraught with misunderstanding and reaped their reward, finally discovering the love that both of them have been searching for. That’s what makes this the Sun Arc of revelation. They don’t need to become different people, they just need to become the best versions of themselves. 

Then there’s the rest that I can mostly skim over (haven’t read Berserk yet so I haven’t looked too deeply into that segment, but I will say that inspiration =/= exact paralleling):

16 for Tower: 

I’ve already made the case for the Sun and I don’t really see what would be the point in doing the Tower again when we’re already long past that point in the Fool’s Journey. The Sun has much more appropriate timing.

Tsukiyama’s betrayal: 

Impressive analysis of Tsukiyama’s aesthetic/emotional divide, but considering how chill and even excited Tsukiyama was to hear about the Touken marriage, I think the fandom has collectively misjudged the nature of Tsukiyama’s feelings towards Kaneki. He’s already moved past his obsessive stage in the Rose Arc, and now I think, rather than wanting Kaneki all to himself, he just wants to be his friend because most of his other friends are now dead (a comedic omake doesn’t suggest any truly deep emotion on Shuu’s part). And I don’t think that’s an avoidance of reality. Goat was about bringing people from all corners together past their grudges to form a cohesive unit dedicated to creating a better world.

So Tsukiyama’s forgiveness of Kaneki seems to have been the mature thing to do, similar to Amon forgiving Touka, because they all share the same real enemy: the world - the egg they must shatter. Tsukiyama ending his emotional isolation by joining Goat is thus a positive emotional development his character, and so I highly doubt a betrayal. I think Furuta uttering Shuu’s alias was more of a hint to his identity as Souta than any kind of foreshadowing, and Shuu throwing open the door on Kaneki and Touka is due to him being Kaneki’s second-in-command rather than any symbolic reason. 

Hinami will also not defect. I’m concerned that the meta considers Hinami joining Aogiri a positive development for her character and her joining Goat to be negative. Joining a sadistic Ghoul terrorist organisation is never a positive development for anyone’s character, and indeed the narrative punished her for that decision. Aogiri did teach her strength, yes, but Goat allows her to use that strength together with her kindness. Just as it is made very clear that Kaneki was wrong to leave Anteiku, so it is made clear that Hinami was wrong to join Aogiri - the kind of isolated rebellion the analyst prefers is not considered favourably by Ishida, who has consistently championed the benefits of community, teamwork and understanding above the follies of reckless self-destruction. 

So yeah, that’s my two-cents where that’s concerned. Sorry for the delay btw anon, but, uh, you can see why.

[hidewari]

Pls tell us your Ikuhide (Ikuma and Hide) hcs 🙏

Okay,, brace yourself because here we go. (Many thanks to @gifti3​ for coming up with these with me and dragging me into ikuhide hell :’D)

• Ikuma’s super cheesy and affectionate with Hide and gushes over him a lot.• Ikuma’s really comfortable with Hide being human since he was raised by humans and grew up around them.• Ikuma has bad eating habits (since he canonically starves himself because he talks people out of suicide when he goes to the suicide forest to feed on bodies) and has periods when he goes hungry and avoids Hide because he’s worried he’ll hurt him.• Ikuma learns to play Hide’s favourite songs for him on his guitar.• Hide’s always taking interest in new things and asks Ikuma to teach him how to play the guitar. Hide’s really eager to learn since Ikuma’s the one teaching him and he gets the hang of it really fast.• Once Hide gets better at playing the guitar, the two of them often play together and Hide has the voice of an angel 👌• Sometimes they make money performing on the streets together — both of them love the smiles it puts on people’s faces, but they especially love seeing each other’s smiles when they’re playing together.• Before they start dating, Ikuma’s the type of person to say cheesy things under his breath.• HIDE WEARING IKUMA’S HAT

• When they first meet, Hide talks mostly about Kaneki. Topics start to broaden the closer they get and Hide starts to feel more comfortable around Ikuma.• Hide comes to Ikuma with his problems; probably when he’s worried about Kaneki or doesn’t want to bother Ken because he thinks he has to stay strong for him.• Hide being more open with Ikuma makes them grow closer in a way he never did with Kaneki since they didn’t communicate as effectively; there’s more two-sided support in his relationship with Ikuma.• Ikuma does everything he can to make sure Hide knows that he can open up to him since he knows that Hide has no one else to share his problems with (he’s too preoccupied with being Ken’s support system so he thinks he has to be the strong one and not burden him with his own problems).

• Hide starts to get more distant from Ikuma when Kaneki goes missing because he spends so much of his time searching for Ken.• He eventually can’t deal with it alone anymore and goes to Ikuma for comfort — Ikuma’s the first person Hide ever cries in front of (he probably gets embarrassed later).• Ikuma lets Hide keep searching for Kaneki since he knows it helps him cope but he makes sure that Hide doesn’t overwork himself.• Hide passes out from lack of sleep one time and feels bad when he sees how worried Ikuma is. He decides to start watching his health from then on.• One day, while Hide’s performing on the street with Ikuma, Kaneki’s lurking in the crowd. Kaneki sees him with Ikuma and thinks that Hide moved on from him.• Hide tells Ikuma about what he’s planning to do before the Anteiku raid. Ikuma tried to talk him out of it, but Hide’s extremely stubborn, especially when it comes to Kaneki —  Ikuma tends to be quite lenient with Hide, so Hide’s caught off guard when he starts to be insistent about this.• Hide goes ahead with his plan anyway, and Ikuma saves Hide from the sewers after he’s injured by Kaneki. Ikuma carries him while Hide is still conscious and comforts him before he passes out from blood loss.

• Ikuma visits Hide in the hospital after the incident but Hide has become very distant because all he can think about is whether Kaneki survived or not.• Hide seems to blame himself at least partly for what happened to Kaneki, and Ikuma tried to reassure him that it wasn’t his fault, but Hide seems more irritable with all the stress he’s under and ends up lashing out at Ikuma.• Once Hide’s out of the hospital, his injuries cause him to lose full movement of his arm – Ikuma has to take care of him and help him adjust to normal life again.• Ikuma is secretly annoyed at Kaneki for putting Hide through all of this but he doesn’t say anything because he knows how important Kaneki is to Hide.• Ikuma realises his feelings for Hide before Hide does, and he starts to realise how much he really cares for him while he’s looking after Hide.• Ikuma doesn’t think Hide feels the same because of how much he cares for Kaneki.• Meanwhile, Hide subconsciously develops feelings for Ikuma but doesn’t realise it.• Hide’s afraid of close relationships because he’s scared they’ll leave like Kaneki did, which means he denies his feelings for Ikuma a lot and blames himself for Kaneki leaving because he didn’t confront him about being a ghoul.• Hide’s obsession with looking after Ken got in the way of his feelings for others, so, with Ken out of the picture, he’s forced to realise his feelings and feels overwhelmed.• When Hide starts to realise how he feels about Ikuma, he starts to think he’s betraying Kaneki. He’s scared that if he gets too preoccupied with Ikuma, he won’t be able to be there for Kaneki anymore.• Because of this, when Ikuma finally confesses his feelings, Hide rejects him initially.• Ikuma acts like he’s fine and understands, but it hurts him and he thinks that his suspicions about Hide’s feelings for Kaneki are correct.

• After this, Ikuma subconsciously distances himself from Hide and Hide gets scared of losing him like he did with Kaneki. This forces him to reevaluate his feelings but Hide doesn’t really understand his feelings for people who aren’t Kaneki and he doesn’t know what he’s feeling for Ikuma.• Hide is afraid of losing Ikuma, since he realises how much he misses and needs him when he starts to be distant, so he decides to give him a chance.• They go on a date and FLUFF ENSUES.• Hide starts to come to terms with his feelings for Ikuma and begins to accept them, finding that Ikuma really does make him happy.

Holy fuck this was long but I hope I satiated your ikuhide thirst for now lmao

[hysyartmaskstudio]

an equilibrium, however twisted

Before I start, I just want to say that this isn’t a theory I’m entirely sold on myself, but I figured I would put it out there, along with the possible evidence, just in case.

Until now, we have been led to believe that the 24th ward was a hell hole where ghouls skulked around in tunnels cannibalizing each other, evolving into monstrous insane kakujas. Just a wild orderless mess of tunnels and lairs that Eto was lucky to survive at all.

Much of what we have seen of it appears to be maintenance tunnels, drainage systems, and sewer lines. Even the rather spacious place Kaneki’s group has taken up in seems to be built within an abandoned subway project of human construction. Between these underground spaces, we are told, are a series of unmappably convoluted and treacherous tunnels, full of crazed ghouls and traps, such as kagune walls, which, Kanou informs us, must feed on something to be maintained. 

And yet, deep in the 24th ward, we find an entire city.

Cities require a degree of mutual cooperation and organization we have not at all come to expect from the 24th ward. One we haven’t even come to expect from most of the ghouls living on the surface. The ubiquitous mindset that might makes right, that the strong have the right to take whatever they want, whenever they want it, does not seem conducive to what Ayato sees before him.

Not to mention the fact that this city is so far down that it’s almost too deep to carry enough provisions to make it to the surface and back. 

How exactly does this city exist?

How can an entire city of ghouls get enough food to live in even relative harmony so far down?

I can think of several possibilities. One is that they have an alternative food source - some way for ghouls to survive without eating humans. Such a thing would solve the root issue and allow a path for possible lasting peace - and this chapter did finally explicitly bring back that root issue. Kaneki’s people are starving because he refuses to kill. The chapter is called Meal. This is an issue they have to address.

But it’s also kind of an anti-climax. To have that solution handed to them right as Kaneki is so desperate for a solution to the food problem that doesn’t kill humans. While I think ultimately the manga does need to solve this fundamental problem, just finding it down in the 24th ward during this sort of non-confrontational retreat feels too easy.

But it’s a possibility.

Another, darker possibility is that there are humans down there - possibly living in the reverse of life on the surface - creatures that exist to be hunted and killed. It would be far easier to transport or even grow human food, making these humans basically livestock.

A twisted mirror of the world above, rather than any solution at all, would certainly be fitting of the dynamic between Furuta and Kaneki right now and the quote from 101 - reality and the other side, twisted together.

The third idea is the one I want to explore, and it is not necessarily mutually exclusive with one or the other of those above. And that’s that this city has help. Help from none other than V.

In Ch. 66, Furuta, play-acting the loyal V party line, says the following to Eto:

“Revolutions are all well and good, but the more you desperately try to effect change, the more sad and dead you leave in your wake. You even had to kill your own father. If an equilibrium were to be achieved, albeit in a twisted way, that’d be good enough, right? Am I wrong?”

As I’ve said previously, reading this in light of what we now know offers a different insight into what Furuta is really saying. Furuta gleefully killed his own father and is almost more gleefully leaving as much death in his wake as he can. And of course, Eto explicitly calls him out on not caring about V in the least. 

But in this scene, Furuta is playing a loyal V agent, specifically as Eto understands V to be (and wants to show to Kaneki).

We also know that Eto is basing her legacy and revolution in part on the legacy of previous One Eyed Ghouls.

It’s something we hear more of from Nishiki, by way of Kaneki’s research, this chapter, though he might be talking about a different revolution all together - something I tried to hash out in a different post because it got long and is worth thinking about on it’s own [x].

The fact that this account ends with “or that’s how the story goes,” as well as plot threads that still have to be explored, makes me think things may not be so cut and dry.

In addition to Furuta in 66, Kaiko also uses the word equilibrium when talking to Yoshimura before the Anteiku raid.

It certainly could be referring to things as we now understand them - enough ghouls running around to continue justifying the existence of their power structure. Or perhaps it refers to a sort of ecological equilibrium, a system where the number of ghouls never exceeds the amount Tokyo’s population can support without any serious disruption. Still, It’s a strange choice of words for a system that is based on anything but equality and balance.

In addition to the truth about the 24th ward, there are several plot threads involving V, the Washuu, and the Garden that the manga needs to address as it moves ever closer to its final arcs. We know that V does some of its dealings underground, with Cochlea being buried deep in the earth and the V members joining Furuta right at the crusher on the lowest level. 

The 24th ward is described as a labyrinth, and it is from the structure in the labyrinth of the inner ear that Cochlea gets its name.

There is also evidence that even more of their operation, including the Garden itself, might be hidden down there. @kingkishou has a post detailing some of the evidence for that here [x].

And then there is the image of the bird cage with two locks. One below, one above.

It would be far more compelling if where Kaneki and Goat think they will find an answer, an escape from the cage, they simply found more of what they were running from. 

Which brings us back to Furuta’s line to Eto:

“Revolutions are all well and good, but the more you desperately try to effect change, the more sad and dead you leave in your wake. You even had to kill your own father. If an equilibrium were to be achieved, albeit in a twisted way, that’d be good enough, right? Am I wrong?”

What if, with their forces dwindling and V closing in, rather than escaping, this revolutionary one eye made a deal. Ghouls live below, humans above. V would allow, even assist, in the building and maintenance of a place for ghouls underground and would brutally punish any ghouls seeking to violate that arrangement and escape to the surface or disrupt the human world above by living there. Two cities in a twisted equilibrium kept by V.

Such a situation would also preserve the hellish life we have been told Eto was forced to live - hiding away and fighting for her very survival, unable to go up or down without running into V and their forces who sought to eliminate her. Perhaps Kuzen didn’t know about this deal - he was just a cleaner, after all, not born into the organization as much of its members are - or perhaps the tunnels of the 24th are still a better bet than the surface for escaping notice.

This of course would mean that the role of Arima and his squad largely composed of garden children was not so much exploring as keeping an eye on and patrolling the underground. Even if a deal was struck, it doesn't mean the ghouls who fled down there were happy with it. If V had an iron grip on their lives and food supply, it would still make sense for them to build their labyrinthine tunnels and traps in efforts to make forbidden trips to the surface. 

And it’s also almost certain that V is using these tunnels to hide things of their own, things they don’t want ghouls or humans poking into. Secret projects and spaces that benefit from the perception of both ghouls and humans that the place is a labyrinth over run by dangerous, insane ghouls

Like I said, it’s just a possibility, and one I’m not completely sold on myself. Everything we’ve been told by those in the CCG and the Washuu seem to suggest that they were desperately attempting to map and get a handle on the 24th ward, not that it was already within their control.

But this would be far from the first time we have been misled in such a way, and it would go a long way in explaining what Ayato found down there as well as presenting a way forward for many of the mysteries and plots that have yet to be resolved.

Thematically, in terms of the moon arc, our deepest depths reveal a hidden truth we must confront, not an easy solution waiting for us to run across. Just as the truths Kanou revealed to Kaneki in the depths of his lab (another arc full of moon tarot symbolism) were important but painful, one assumes Goat will encounter the same as they dig into the depths of the 24th. 

The depths, in the symbolism of the moon, are painful buried truths that must come to the surface. Dark secrets that hold the twisted root of our neuroses and complexes. The part of ourselves we must shine a light on and understand before we can really move forward into the rebirth of the sun. Only in exposing and confronting our shadow can we truly escape the warped cage it has built around our psyche. True, lasting growth requires this journey to the darkest parts of ourselves, and it is never an easy one.

No doubt Goat will learn something important down in the depths of the 24th ward, and it will likely be something that, in a way, exposes the path forward. But rather than a solution - a new source of food, or an eager and waiting army -  it is likely to expose the true nature of the problem, the twisted roots from which the entire warped bird cage grows.

[midnight-in-town]

hi acchan, i hope you dont mind me asking something about seiakiramon. i dont get why some people blaming akira for not searching for seidou. i mean, its not like she knows about his true feelings (we as readers know, but akira doesnt), all she knows is that the last time they met, he tried to kill her, yet she shielded him and confessed to him. when she woke up, her whole world had changed, but the reason why her world changed had gone. not even a goodbye. now, if i were akira, cont.

Hello Anon! And don’t worry, I don’t mind. :)

The thing is, I am kind of shocked because I don’t recall ever reading that Akira in particular was to be blamed when it comes to Seidou leaving on his own? I surely missed those posts then and tbh I’m glad I did, because that is just plain bullshit (as always, you’ll note that #it-gotta-be-the-girl’s-fault, how original). 

Myself, I wrote and reblogged quite a lot about the Seiakiramon dynamic (because it’s one of my favorite in TG) and basically, from my point of view and as described in these posts, Amon, Akira and Seidou are all to be blamed for the state of their current trio/dynamic.

Just take a look at ch117-121, it’s so plainly evident that I don’t even get the idea of why it has to be only Akira’s fault:

Amon and Seidou saw their own situations changing 4 years ago, because of the ghoulification experiments, when for Akira it happened in the span of a few minutes a month ago…

…when for once she listened to her own feelings and not just to her duty. 

Basically, if anyone needs one quote to fully understand what Akira’s character is all about, it’s this one:

It’s this quote that allows everyone to understand why exactly she saved Takizawa in the first place: Akira always used to cling to the past, so as to not feel completely empty because she couldn’t help losing people over and over again, which is precisely something that she cannot do anymore by the mini arc of ch117-121, all because she shielded Takizawa. 

(under read more because of length)

She used to cling to her dad -> he died, so she clung to the CCG and, even though the CCG cannot be her pillar of strength anymore, by confronting Touka and Hinami she can’t even cling to her hatred of ghouls anymore either, which is why she’s so lost at the time of ch121.

She used to cling to Amon and Takizawa and had feelings for them -> they disappeared so she clung to her new partner, Haise, except that he “died” to become Kaneki, an enemy of the CCG. However, she herself is now an enemy of the CCG because she shielded Takizawa, which goes back to the point above.

In short:

Akira is understandably lost because she was raised to be a ghoul killer and, not only did she shield one of them out of pure raw feelings because she never could let go of who he used to be for her in the past, but she now can’t hate ghouls anymore either and became an enemy of the corporation she and her parents used to work for. 

Now, about the Seiakiramon dynamic itself by the time of ch121:

Seidou is to blame for chickening and refusing to go see Akira once she woke up

Seidou is to blame for not even being able to talk to Amon after saving him and trying to give him his cross back through Kaneki

Akira is to blame for not asking after Seidou

Akira is to blame for refusing to talk to Amon and Kaneki until she confronted Touka and Hinami

Amon is to blame for not going to talk to Seidou

Amon is to blame for not really acknowledging his own situation of being a OEG

Now I say that, but obviously they all have their reasons for acting the way they did, which is why “blaming them” is too harsh a verb in my opinion.

In Akira’s case, it’s what I explained above: she clung to the past until she couldn’t anymore and now she has to process her new situation (triggered by her saving Takizawa). She doesn’t hate ghouls anymore, but she’s not yet ready to fight for them and thus she has to find her own place in this world.

In Amon’s case, even though he learnt to live as a OEG for the last 4 years, he is still not fully accepting his situation (cannibalizing instead of eating humans for example), which is why he’s still not completely ready to fight for the ghouls’ side (as he told Kaneki) and it’s all because of his childhood trauma. 

Amon is a victim of Donato Porpora, as much as the kids Donato and him killed, and through this horrific childhood, he came to hate ghouls because of Donato’s example, which is why Mado Kureo was and still is a good role model in his eyes.

Still, Kaneki is the person who taught Amon that not all ghouls were like Donato but, because of what Donato put him through and Amon not being ready to forgive himself (as symbolized by his cross), to this day Amon still refuses to fight for the ghouls’ side…

…preferring to keep on seeing himself as who he used to be as a ghoul investigator and thus refusing to face the CCG, unless it is to save people he cares about (ex-investigators most of the time). 

What’s important for Amon is to keep on doing what he thinks is right…

Because he’s still conflicted as to what he should do (as a OEG still not ready to choose the ghouls’ side) and what he should feel (hating Donato and looking up to Mado Kureo, but still harboring something besides hatred for Donato), compared to his past self who was human and thus had a more understandable place in this world.

Finally, when it comes to Seidou, he’s actually the only one out of these three who moved on at some point during the last 4 years and who doesn’t intend on clinging onto the past anymore, not even to his feelings for Amon and Akira.

In that, Seidou’s resolve is way more impressive than Amon’s or Akira’s, because he now sees himself as what he has been for the last 4 years:

And because he is moving on, his feelings for Akira and Amon evolved too and he stopped having resentment towards them to switch for redemption…

And redemption includes him thinking that they would be better off without him because he decided to live on as a ghoul, thus shouldering all of “his sins” so far, whereas Amon still saw him as a ghoul investigator during Rushima arc and Akira as her old comrade from before the Anteiku raid arc. 

So you see, as with Kaneki and Touka (another fav dynamic of mine), the problem here is with miscommunication: Akira, Amon and Seidou are still intertwining all together, forever linked by their feelings, but the fact that they’re conflicted about their respective situation is making it hard to solve their also conflicted feelings about one another:

Akira never could forgive herself for losing Takizawa at the same time as Amon when she could have stopped him and that’s why she saved him. At the same time saving him changed her whole life and it’s hard to admit it and face him as a result, which is why she’s just starting to realize that she should find a new way to live in order to be able to accept her feelings for both Amon and Takizawa.

Amon still can’t forgive himself for never being strong enough to stand up against Donato, thus he still has a bias against the ghoul kind and that’s why he can’t fully accept being a OEG, unlike Seidou.At the same time, it’s because Amon had the time to face his own emptiness after becoming a OEG that he can now say that he wants to live by doing what’s right and that’s also why he can support Akira, as he said in ch121.

Takizawa is the only one who moved on from the past, because he knows he doesn’t have the right to hope going back after what he did as a OEG, so as a result he decided to live on as a ghoul. At the same time, it’s because he’s moving on to find redemption and to turn his back to his past as an investigator that he wrongly believes that Amon and Akira would be better off without him. Hence why he left in ch118 without being able to talk to either of them.

At this point, it’s because the three of them are so opposed in their current way of living that it’s hard for them to confront each other: the past can’t be reached anymore for the three of them because the present is too drastically different, but the future still is seen in a negative light because it’s never going to be the past.

The only thing is that Amon and Akira decided to support each other because they’re not ready to completely stop hoping about going back to the past (at least where their feelings are concerned), while Seidou convinced himself that moving on was the only way he had to keep the right to care about making sure Amon and Akira could be happy (”when your own future has gone to shit, all you have left is to live for someone else”).

I also reblogged a lot of great posts about Seiakiramon dynamic, Anon! So if anything is unclear feel free to check the tag on my blog. :) I hope I at least managed to convey somewhat properly why it’s not anyone’s fault in particular but rather the whole dynamic that is complex, because their feelings for now can’t be taken independently from how they intend on living their lives:

Akira has no idea about what to do, what to feel and whom to fight for.

Amon wants to do “what’s right” and he can’t side with either the CCG or the ghouls. 

Seidou decided to live on as a ghoul, but you’ll notice that he’s not joining Kaneki’s rebellion because, despite seeing himself as such, he doesn’t really care about other ghouls and coexistence.

That’s why it’s important for Akira and Amon and Seidou to confront Takizawa: for now, by supporting each other, they stay on the idea that going back to the past (at least where their feelings are concerned) is possible, while this idea couldn’t be less away from Seidou’s mind at the moment, because he’s the only one who fully moved on and accepted his new situation to find redemption. 

Paradoxically, while Amon and Akira are 100% acknowledging their feelings for their little trio (see Akira putting Amon and Takizawa on the exact same level when it comes to her past feelings for them and Amon never despising Seidou), Seidou still has some kind of inferiority complex that makes him think that Akira and Amon are better off without him. That is why he says he wants to live for their sake, forsaking his own happiness through his idea of redemption when the other two never did that.

TL;DR it’s not over and it’s not Akira’s fault that Seidou left but his own because he decided that he had no place next to Amon and Akira (when he does, otherwise Akira and Amon wouldn’t have saved him in the first place).

Sorry it got suuuuper long, but I like Seiakiramon way too much and so I rambled. :/ I hope it’s understandable, have a nice day, Anon!

[jooniereflection]

(Spoilers) Shipping wars & is Touka abusive towards Kaneki?

*Tokyo Ghoul spoilers ahead*

I’ve talked about this in another plataforms (such as Reddit), but I feel the need to make a whole post about this subject in here. Since I’m giving my opinion (that is, by the way, supported by facts), I need to say that since I’ve got in touch with Tokyo Ghoul, both the manga and the anime, that I could see Kaneki and Touka getting together at some point of the story, and yeah I ship it, but I don’t think that it matters tbh. A lot of people liked what has been happening in recent chapters of TG:re (Touken having sex *cough*), and a lot of people hated it. For me it doesn’t matter if you ship it or not, but see that’s exactly the point in here: people read a manga, watch an anime or watch a TV show and everything they care about in the series is based on shipping and that gets kinda stupid, especially when “fans” start to hate on the artist (in this case, mangaka Ishida Sui), destroy merch, etc, just because their ship didn’t sail, or because the ship they hate is now canon. Don’t get me wrong, people can enjoy stuff in their own way, but at least don’t harm the author like this? And why are people making everything about shipping wars? And why are people mad because Kaneki turned out to be straight, when the whole story started with him going on a date with Rize, who happens to be a girl? And why are people saying Touka is abusive (and messing with her Tokyo Ghoul Wikia page, for example) just because they don’t like Touken to be canon? I’m not gonna lie: I loved chapter, why? Because regardless of me shipping Touken (because what I ship doesn’t fucking matter now), this is probably the first time Kaneki is happy since the WHOLE series; and as everyone knows his life was never good at all (especially because of his mother abuse). About Hidekane: Hide was (is, I want him to be alive as well), Kaneki’s best friend and probably the only person he has ever received love from in his whole life. He was with him since childhood and a very special person for him. But, once again, it is pretty obvious since the beginning of the series that Kaneki isn’t gay, and Hide also supported him going on a date with a girl (he even thought it was Touka at first lol), and I’m 100% sure Hide would be 100% for Kaneki right now. Although I don’t care if someone ships this or not, I think we also should try to understand that there is a difference between friendship and romantic relationships. There are m/f friendships too. Not every human interaction means a romantic relationship, keep that in mind.

About Touka and Kaneki’s relationship: I’ve seen people making biased statements saying Touka is abusive towards Kaneki, because she hit on him a few times. I highly believe it isn’t abusive and this is my point based on what I’ve read in the manga: First time we saw Touka hitting on Kaneki and being truly violent towards him was in the beginning, when they first met after Kaneki was turned into an One-Eyed Ghoul. He called her a monster, saying he wouldn’t eat human meat because he wasn’t one, she got mad because she wasn’t used with One-Eyed ghouls (can’t explain this any better sorry D:). Well, we can see where it went right? (Surely Touka wasn’t the only one who got violent with him when they first met, we got Nishiki, Tsukiyama, etc). Then she rejected him for a while when he joined Anteiku, but it isn’t like Kaneki liked her too the firsts times they were together, he even said she was kinda scary. Then they started to get into a better relationship, mainly when he helped her when Hinami’s mother was killed. The story goes on, and I think the next time we saw Touka hitting on Kaneki was when he went to Anteiku first time after he left (edit). She went after him and ended up being bitchy, calling him trash and hitting on him. I believe she was truly mean that time, but there is something that needs to be pointed out: in TG Touka was pretty mad, with an angry personality (just like Ayato did and something she changed in TG:re), she was indeed a bitch that time. But I also remember that she regreted acting bitchy with him, because she thought that after being a total bitch he wouldn’t be coming back to Anteiku at all. Personally, I see this as a growing character: fucking things up and regretting it in a second. She has flaws and made mistakes just like anyone else. Deep down she just wanted him to be back. She was hurt because he left her behind, and mirroring her personality, she raged over him. TG ends with Touka hoping Kaneki will come back, and as a consequence for that she builds :re, a home that he can come back anytime. She didn’t force him to get his memories back as Haise, even though he went to the café and she knew Haise was Kaneki. But she simply didn’t want to force it on him, she didn’t want to do it for her own happiness, and that’s why I think that statements saying she forced herself on him are also biased af. And then she hit on him again after the Cochlea raid… And I have to say that it isn’t abuse either. I’d call it tsundere behavior tbh… I’m not even get deep into this, I’ll just say that it happens in many manga / anime. I just wanna state that Touka was always there for him. Even though he left her behind (because he wanted to protect her), she built a home for him waiting for him to come back, trained him in the beginning even though they didn’t get along very well (something he mentioned somewhere in TG:re), showed deep concern when he was kidnapped by Aogiri and risked her life to rescue him. His mother abused him. His mother was agressive and left him alone. Touka hit on him a few times of course, but it is lame to just see it as abuse (and say it is the same as his mother's​ behavior) when there is so much more to be seen. I think people need to understand her behavior better. The sex scene was, well, beautiful. I’ve seen people explaining it better than me tbh so I’m gonna skip this because it wasn’t the point of this post anyway. I just wanna say that for me it was more than sex and more than romance. It was development for both of them. I think their relationship is very complex and not perfect at all. It is about two people who have walked a long road, two people who acted bad towards each other, two people who were apart for quite long time. But not an abusive relationship.

[todokori-kun]

(Ok, so I wrote out this super-long message but wifi died when I was submitting it. Tumblr told me I’d lost connection so I’m pretty sure it didn’t reach you.

If it somehow did, though…sorry for sending in another one OTL And sorry this keeps happening, my computer is being really weird ^^;;)

Tysm ;-; I’m glad I’m not annoying you or anything :D Queen Luna is honestly one of my favorite people to talk to as well, though. Thanks for being so amazing and supportive <3

Yep. Ishida’s Back.

I’m honestly not too sure how I feel about this pregnancy though. On one hand, since I never really cared too much about Touka I don’t think I’m going to have a hard time caring for this kid, even if they ARE also Kaneki’s child. I also think this wasn’t really necessary and I don’t want drama between Touken and other ghouls over the child- I want the plot to move forward and to get some questions answered…

However, it is really interesting how this parallels with other parents throughout TG’s story. Touken right now reflects the Yoshimura-Ukina-Eto dynamic, and I’m pretty sure the Touken child is meant to connect to Eto.

See, what I’m thinking about is that TG’s parents have a history of abandoning their children in favor of their ideals, even if they don’t always mean to do so. We have Mado, who was blinded by his black-and-white worldview and ended up dead, Arata, who sacrificed so much for his children that in the end he couldn’t even stay with them, Yoshimura, who left his daughter behind to create Anteiku (no matter if he meant well, it still affected Eto in a negative way and Yoshimura’s actions could be seen as partially selfish; he never considered how Eto would feel about this situation, after all), Kaneki’s mother, who was unable to choose between her child and her sister, and Kaneki himself could also count, having completely abandoned the Qs the moment Arima and Eto gave him the title of ‘One-eyed King’.

The only non-background-character who was actually a good parent is Shachi, I think.

So the question is: will Touken (Kaneki really, Touka seems to have made up her mind completely about this) be able to break this cycle? Will Kaneki choose his child like he wanted his mother to choose him over his aunt? Or will this child become motivation for him? (he’s never been the best candidate for the OEK after all, and he basically admitted to Amon and Seidou that he’s seriously depressed and just doesn’t care)

I’m also curious: pregnancies take a few months, y'know. I sincerely hope there won’t be a time skip. Or a miscarriage, because not only would that be too much for Kaneki and Touka, it would also be bad for the plot (why make Touka pregnant in the first place then?). Maybe the baby will be born in an epilogue or the last chapter. Maybe Kaneki and Touka will die, this kid will become the new OEK and Ishida will make a third TG series. Idk.

Wow, I didn’t intend to make such a long rant ^^;;

I think Thor’s new hairstyle looks cool (sorry Queen Luna) but yeah, it does also look a bit weird on him. Like, now I can’t look at him and think 'oh that’s the god of thunder’, I just think of Chris Hemsworth lol

That typo tho 'Nat and Clit’

Even after all that’s happened in canon, I still feel like Blackhawk have a deep bond and understand each other in a way the rest of the team can’t.

I feel like the fact that Sharon is Peggy’s niece alone makes it a 'NO’ ship XD the lack of development for both the relationship and Sharon as a character just added to that.

As for Loki…ah, well. If he wasn't such a jerk he wouldn’t be Loki.

Oh that sounds really cool :D And well, like I said above. It’s Loki. What can you do.

Haha, thanks ^^ I was obsessed with Bucky’s costume for a while after Winter Soldier. I literally had never heard of Captain America up until then so I didn’t even care about him (sorry Steve…do you still ship me with him? lol). I might actually have had a crush on Bucky at the time. Idk. I was nine(?).

I will drag you into Remember This Cold hell no matter what. It is my MISSION. I WILL make you have feels about Loki’s kitty (Steve got him a cat because he thought he might be lonely). I WILL make you sob over Loki’s redemption arc and his reaction when anyone dares to lay a finger on Steve (SPOILER: when he thinks Steve is dead he teams up with Bucky and absolutely destroys Hydra. When he and Steve are captured and tortured for information he threatens to cut open his own veins and summon a beast with the blood to destroy them all…he’s completely serious about that. One of the major things Steve has to help him with is how he gets desperate and suicidal whenever he thinks he might lose Steve).

Oh, so you won’t talk about Kanae, huh?

With my short existence, I can make a difference- I can be there for him, I can be his knight

Imagine this is Matsumae teaching Kanae about kagune usage and what it means to be a servant of the Tsukiyama family. For bonus angst, imagine that the slip-ups ('do it for her- that is to say, you do it for him’) are Matsumae talking about the late Mrs. Tsukiyama (HC that Matsumae was around when Shuu’s mom was alive, though I guess that’s unlikely considering her age…shush. Just ignore it for the angst.)

Kanae singing the 'I love you’ part from If I Could Tell Her as they fall off the building

Kanae singing 'But what you do when there’s this great divide? And what do you do when the distance is too wide?’ when Shuu is ill

 'I wondered how you learned to dance like all the rest of the world isn’t there’ and 'There’s nothing like your smile, sort of subtle and perfect and real. You never knew how wonderful that smile could make someone feel’ as they remember their memories with Shuu as a child.

'I love him, but every day I’m learning- all my life, I’ve only been pretending’ from On my Own when Eto is torturing Kanae

And then most of 'It’s Over, Isn’t It’ is from Kanae to Sasaki/Kaneki, of course, but then imagine that the chorus ('And she chose you, and she loved you, and she’s gone- it’s over, isn’t it? Why can’t I move on?’) is like a duet between Kanae and Shuu. Kanae’s pining over Shuu, of course, but Shuu’s POV is after Kanae’s death (referring to himself as 'you’).

Hope you liked this :)

But wait, if you knew all of Urie’s songs, that means you know Still Sane…does this mean you’re a Lorde fan? Because I thought Still Sane was one of her lesser-known songs. I’m obsessed with Lorde’s music, so…

And I’m also a fan of Fall out Boy and Marina and the Diamonds. It'd be cool if you listen to them as well :D

Seriously?! Because blue is my favorite color…wow!

I haven’t watched FMA but I know quite a bit about it (the Roy rain jokes are the best lol)…we actually talked on your FMA blog once ^^ And I’m excited to hear about any of Queen Luna’s OCs! I’m sure they’re all amazing :D (hahaha, I can relate about embarrassing old OCs. I can’t think of any right now but I know I have some). I’ll send you a little info about my OCs in a seperate submission, since this one seems to be getting a little long (though I can’t be sure) ^^;;

Oh, all four of those are lovely! I feel like the girl with the yellow hat (top row, left) has the most icon-ish look, if that makes sense? She also reminds of Queen Luna a little bit, idk why XD but that’s just my opinion, all four of those characters would make beautiful icons <3

Yep, your internet did die ^^;; This is the only thing I got from you... So no worries about spamming me ^^

Aww *hugs* I love talking to you a lot, a lot! So if you ever need anything, I’m here ^^ (I’d add gifs, but internet is slow).

The pregnancy is as out of place as that chapter (once again avoiding pervy words hahah). But... if Kaneki’s a ghoul (halfway) and Touka is a full ghoul, why does the baby need human food? I’m gonna assume Kaneki is the dad because I don’t want to think about the other options. 

I, too, think that the ghoul eating human food/human eating ghoul food for the baby to survive is a parallel for Eto, but we all know how that ended, so idk how i feel about it. Maybe the baby will be a cute and healthy kid who’ll live a nice childhood? Hopefully? Pls let me hope. 

Maybe Eto’ll adopt the baby since she knows the feeling of being abandoned and will give it a nice, happy childhood? HOPEFULLY???

Honestly, I don’t remember who Shachi is, so...

*gasp* you wound me... How could you like that hideousness that is the hair (or lack of it). Jk, you’re free to like what you want ^^ I mean, it’s not that bad I guess... I just liked the old version a bit more.  A lot more.

So much for avoiding risqué words.

I think their bond is mostly platonic? I mean, if Clint wasn’t married and didn’t have tons of babies, I’d assume there was more, but this way, I’d like to think it’s more of a brother-sister relationship. Why am I getting Love, Rosie flashbacks ;-;

Don’t tell me Sharon’s another Jane, this time with even less character -.-

I guess I’ll just avoid Civil War as long as possible :))

AS FOR KANAE

That’s my feeling about everything.

Well, my music taste isn’t quite definable by ‘likes this artist’ or anything, because it’s mostly a ‘I’m browsing youtube and I like this song, so i’ll download it’ one. So Still Sane just happens to be there. As for Fallout Boy and Marina, I do have quite a lot of their songs there ^^ But, generally speaking, most of my songs that aren’t idol songs ?uncomfortable cough* tend to go in the rock direction. Sometimes remixes and sometimes songs no one ever heard about, like Texas by Magic Man or Change My Life from Ashes Remain. Also, Holy by Zolita, although I mostly like that song because it’s so different from most songs nowadays. It’s a bit weird, though.

I really, really want to see all your OCs, especially the TG one that suffers a lot :))

Oh god, here’s my most embarrassing one, the FMA one:

Kk, her name’s Arya, she’s an alchemist (of course) and depending on how I felt at the moment, she was either shipped with Roy or Ed. Most of the time, it was Roy, so the info I wrote down was based on that. Is the cliche ‘sarcastic, but actually a huge softie’ character with right about 0 character flaws, other than being stubborn (’But it also helps when she’s suspicious about the homonculi!’). Now, this isn’t so bad. But here’s the best part. She has a stepdad (bc no oc can have a normal, fully functioning family) that tried to ‘merge her with a wolf, giving her enhanced senses and strength and making her hair white + eyes purple’. I still cringe when I think about her. Literal nightmares.

Then we have a soul eater one, where the girl is both a meister and a weapon (which is, by the way, impossible by the laws of that universe, since the souls of the two types differ greatly) AND a witch to top it off.

Thankfully, I never went too far with the looks, the white hair + purple eyes was as far as I went, but I knew to change it to normal (or try to make an excuse *coughwolfcough* if the universe was one where the colours were mostly normal. And I never gave them DDD+ boobies. 

As for the newer ones, I don’t have many, but from the fandoms we share, I have 1 for YoI and 1 for MCU (this one was created yesterday :P )

The YoI one’s name is Nara and she’s a skater from Detroit, therefore Yuuri and Phichit’s rinkmate. Honestly, she’s not that talented at skating, but she does try to make up for it by practicing a lot.  However, she doesn’t magically get better and lands 1st place, she’s content doing her best and just participating in the competitions, since she has a secondary job.

The MCU one’s a bit more mary sueish, but that’s what makes it fun. Kya, her power is ‘manipulating’ animals (well, not manipulating, it’s more along the lines of ‘animals like her and listen to her) and in extreme cases (when she gets very emotional), human manipulation (technically, humans are animals). When she was small, she was experimented on, granting her the powers. However, the faculty was attacked, allowing her to escape. She tried to live a normal life and was actually succeeding, but then Loki attacked New York and lo and behold, she actually managed to do some hero work, so the avengers were like ‘we’re not recruiting you, but you could be useful in the future so we’ll keep an eye on you’. That’s as far as I got, but I do plan on expanding a bit.  Also, probably predictable, but Loki is her love interest ^^;;;;;;

Alrighty, seems like that’ll be my icon ^^ I’ll probably change the general colour scheme of the blog, so don’t be surprised if everything’s different the next time you visit :P  The name definitely stays the same, though.

As for the ‘she reminds you of me’, you couldn’t be more right ^^;;; In the whole Love Live series, she’s the most similar to me looks wise, but also personality wise. A quiet bookworm who’s fine staying in the library whole day hahah I always cry during her character arc, because I relate waaay too much ;-;

Also, completely random, but I’m listening to ‘Merry Go Round of Life’ from Howl’s Moving Castle as I write this and it would actually make a pretty nice waltz song...

[toukaisbetterthanyou]

It's unfair to judge the emotional development of Touka and Ken by the same standards. Touka had loving parents and while Arata's raising had some mildly abusive elements, he was overall loving which presented a good example from his children (excluding Ayato's emo phase, he has shown some great emotional strength and understanding much like his sister) and then after a period of abandonment, she was taken in by Yomo and Yoshimura where she had a relatively peaceful life (1/2)

Ken didn't have a loving mother figure and was left isolated for most of his childhood, his empathy is shallow because he learned it from books and fictional characters, his aunt despised him and that is enough to mess up a human on its own but he had to go and turn into a ghoul the one time someone other than Hide shows him kindness then he gets tortured then dies then comes back to life as the son of the man who killed him who handed him a responsibilities too huge to bear (2/3 instead of 2)     

So Ken has had no form of stable relationship save for Hide and heavens know what happened in V14 so obviously he cannot be as emotionally independent and understanding as Touka. There are a lot of things to address in this but I am not good with organized thoughts and words so sorry but just wanted to add my 2 cents                  

Mod K:

Isn’t it, though? While Touka and Ayato had loving parents -- they were also thrown onto the streets and forced to fight for survival for nearly everyday of their lives until they were finally taken in. This is also takes an incredibly emotional toll -- and it’s shown through both Touka and Ayato’s attitudes at the start of the series. Even when Touka is shown to have anteiku as support, she is still quite cold and has a hard time understanding others without exploding. She only recently seems to have gotten past this tendancy.

Note, I am not saying that Kaneki has no had a hard life -- if has had a very difficult life, but there are things about his personality that are survival tactics that he learned as a child that trouble him as an adult. These same survival tactics make it difficult for him connect with others as he has a hard time sharing his problems and being communicative.

I think that his relationship with Touka, and the friends that he’s made gives him a good opportunity to begin to learn to do this, and to learn that he is worthy of happiness, and worthy of life.

I don’t think that it’s good to say that because he is currently unable to be as emotionally independent as Touka -- that he will never be capable of this. Note -- I don’t think that he needs to be completely emotionally independent. Kaneki is quite lonely, and he finds joy in Touka (and vice versa) I don’t think this is a bad thing at all. There is nothing wrong with caring about people and relying on them -- and from what I’ve seen, I don’t see anything that shows that he’s unhealthily attached to her. He’s not trying to control her for his emotional needs, or anything like that so I don’t see a real problem.

I had only expressed amusement in people criticizing Ken because people in the fandom NEVER criticize him. Not because I necessarily agree with them.

[lilacflamesss]

TG:re[quest] Union: Reaction

Hey guys, so I suggested it and some of you were pretty supportive of this so yes, here’s my reaction to the Ayahina novel story! @poclee had kindly translated it here so if you guys want to, check that out first! Special thanks to them for translating it! 

Okie leggo. This story is Ayahina/Aogiri heaven. It’s really the only Aogiri story we’ve ever had and I am so pleased with it because we get to see more of Miza, Naki and even a little of Seidou as well. 

I get a little shippy under the cut with my longer reaction but I want to say something really interesting I noticed. The imagery of the aogiri tree is really strong in here and Hinami compares the organization to a literal tree. As a member, she’s in its shade and here, sunlight never reaches. This lightless image continues when she talks about how she’s used to the night now and how the base, even in the day, is really dark. When she’s with Eto, she calls is the deepest part of the tree and normally, the deepest, is usually the darkest.  But there are times when she talks about light and all these have to do with Ayato. The first time in a while since she goes out in the day is to find coffee beans to make them for Ayato. After some time with Ayato, she’s convinced of a light that’s beginning to shine. And it’s an interesting contrast– the woman who brought her in as darkness and the boy who’s asking her to leave as light. Hinami can only return to the light if she leaves the organization. 

Only after she leaves Aogiri and Cochlea she’s ends up underground, but whatever.

I talk more underneath– weee! Let’s go.

WINGS. Hinami hiding under people’s wings– it has to start with a clear Kirishima reference 

Ayato’s so harsh when he says she’s in the way and all but at the same time, he tells her to take care of herself. Clearly his tsundere meters had toned down from the ‘i’d beat the fuck out of you so no one else can’ level in the original TG.

Hinami wants to cover her ears but she doesn’t because that’s the only way she can tell if Ayato is okay. Hinami cares about him so much as well my heart is breaking oh my god. And she’s super bitter that he’s doing her share as well ahhhh. GODDAMMIT I LOVE THEM. 

Ayato’s first words to her when he’s back was to try and cheer her up and it’s so unlike him. Hinami’s excited to seem him back and god she’s worried if he’s hurt ;-; (especially since he fought for her sake as well)

I love this part where Hinami’s comparing him to Touka but she doesn’t say anything yet but Ayato knows she is and he stops her from saying anything else. I wonder how many times she’s told him he’s like Touka, probably enough till he’s completely sick of it. 

Ayato being burdened with work after work in Aogiri is something I always loved because like, he’s such an important member to the organization, no wonder Tatara was so harsh on him when he was disobedient. But, imagine the possible consequences of his disobedience getting out. Sometimes, I wonder what would happen if we saw more of Aogiri during and pre Rue arc. There has to be some reaction among the members below when Ayato, the strongest and most experienced Executive left the organization. I mean, there’s bound to be some chaotic consequence. Aogiri Tree in general was a really untapped potential and one of the things I’m the most upset about when it comes to Ishida’s writing actually. 

Hinami is sweet and lovable but she hasn’t changed at all?? She’s still worrying about burdening others, but like if Auction told me anything it’s untrue. 

God is she a shojou manga heroine??? 

Yes, give him something he likes, good girl. I think you’re the first person in this entire manga who’s ever thought of making Ayato happy, aside from Touka that is. Good good. Clearly no one bothers enough about what he thinks and feels since they had a wedding for his sister in his absence.

It must be so painful for Hina to be with Ayato? She misses both Touka and Anteiku whenever she’s with him. God, Hina you shouldn’t have left, my girl.

Lmao Aogiri sucks. A ghoul organization that doesn’t have basic coffee brewing equipment. This made me think about that time in Root A when Kaneki was making coffee. Where did those things come from? Did he sneak some out of Anteiku. 

She actually had work to do as well, why does she think she’s useless. Hinami I love you. 

Hinami’s so used to Aogiri now? In the past she used to go out more in the day. I think it’s interesting how her being used to the night ties in well to the earlier imagery of the Aogiri Tree– and how her being under their shade had stolen the sunlight from her life. 

Seidou, sigh. Don’t traumatize Hinami. To be honest, I seriously still dislike Seidou as Owl. But I love Hinami’s reaction to him. She’s so un-Aogiri, yet even when she says she doesn’t belong and all, you can see that no one else (by that I mean the Executives) think so as well. 

Also lmao, Seidou’s head-ball dropped onto the ground and all Hinami thought was how the sound it made was similar to the sound of the heads dropping when Ayato chopped them off. Always thinking about Ayato I see. :’)

Miza is so sassy. I love her.

MIZA IS ENVIOUS OF AYAHINA’S RELATIONSHIP. I’m not sure if Miza has fallen for Naki yet. Technically the manga made it seem like it was after Auction that she realized her feelings for him but I think it’s blossoming even now. But either way, Miza is someone who wants children, so going by that line, I’m sure she longs for a romantic relationship as well. Which means, for her to be envious of Hinami’s relationship with Ayato… huehuehue (Does Miza picture Ayahina’s kids I wonder)

Miza’s relationship with Hinami is precious. I love them. She’s so protective. 

Hinami being unable to fight and kill due to her personality and not just ability and Hinami thinks about how this troubles Ayato. The contrasts between the two of them are so interesting. They’re so different in many aspects of themselves, but in the end, both Hinami and Ayato still struggle with and crave for the same thing. ;-;

Apparently Miza isn’t so good with sunlight. Fun tidbit. I’m glad we get to know more about the other members of Aogiri as well in this story. For an Aogiri fangirl like me, this story is amazing even without the Ayahina. 

HA. Okay, Hinami and Miza have a cute little girl to girl moment here that I absolutely love. They both find each other cute and are envious of each other… They’re adorable. New brotp guys. 

Hinami is so surprised that Miza is over 30 but Miza prefers this to being called Old Hag by the White Suits, aw. Hinami still apologized what a sweetheart. 

I feel some kind of parallel with Miza and Ayato over here? Hinami says that she feels like Miza is always taking care of Naki and Miza response is to complain about how he always rushes into things and how she doesn’t want to be dragged down by him. I feel some similarities to Ayato when he’s with Hinami. 

Miza doesn’t like sacrificing people, aw. I love this new batch of Aogiri leaders. Ayato-Miza-Naki combi is the complete opposite of tg!Ayato-Bin-Yamori combi. There’s so much care and love from the :re batch. 

Hinami thinking about Kaneki. Ahhhh. 

Miza is jealous of Hinami’s aura that makes people want to protect her, but Hinami hates this part of her– Miza and Hinami seem to really want what the other has. Sigh. These two. 

Miza talks about how valuable Hinami is to the organization like, come on Hinami, you’re amazing please. And also, since Aogiri doesn’t have enough girls, it seems like Miza really likes having Hinami around. 

The picture of Hinami and Miza is too adorable. Hinami, your hair. =w= She’s so cute???

Hinami’s so thorough– she asks the clerks and all and spends quite a bit of time in the stores. SO MUCH DEDICATION, GIRL. 

Some blade guy called Mikami appears. (Lmao, Mikami? Death Note ruined this name for me lol.)

Some Blade stuff. Hinami notes how the Blades were more like family and how despite the respect Mikami has to Miza, there seems to be no hierarchy. It’s something we see briefly in the manga as well during the Rue Island arc but it’s nice to see more of it, especially considering how Miza seemed to have lost all of her Blades. I kinda feel sad for her now. 

Hinami starts feeling comforted by Mikami and Miza and she wonders if she’s worrying and pushing herself too much and it’s amazing oh my god how she’s starting to feel better about herself. SHE STARTS BEING MORE POSITIVE ABOUT HERSELF asadlkkhskafa i love hinami 

She wants Miza to try some as thanks WHAT A HINAMI THING 

Okay but Miza the Ayahina shipper surfaces now when she tells Hinami to save the first cup of coffee for Ayato but then later says that Hinami can use her as practice instead. 

This scene is so heartbreaking because Hinami thinks about everyone in Anteiku and the instructions came from different members. She must really miss them so much and it’s really a pity how she’s no longer with them. SHE EVEN THINKS OF NISHIKI OKAY. 

Naki being Naki as usual but listen, he’s dense af and Miza is just too in love I CANT

Hinami wanting to make coffee for everyone but Miza’s like “bruh, didnt you buy this for ayato”. After this story, you guys can’t convince me otherwise. Miza is the number 1 Ayahina shipper in canon. NOT TO MENTION, she told Hinami to enjoy the last two cups of coffee with Ayato coughcoffeedatecough

Ayahina’s scene LEGGO

Ayato came home late and he seems really tired and stressed– my headcanonsssssss ;w; Still, I’m honestly surprised that it’s actually true that Ayato’s a lot busier than the rest are. Even Miza seemed shocked earlier on when Mikami said Ayato isn’t back yet. Tatara, stop working him to the bone gdi. 

Hinami’s so sweet? Even after all the trouble and training, she wonders if maybe letting Ayato rest would be a better idea. I can’t believe people used to say that Hinami probably doesn’t care about Ayato like she is so concerned and worried that she contemplates letting him rest instead. 

AYATO HAS GROWN– god Hinami thinking about this made me chuckle. And I love how she completely sees through that tsundere :’) 

AYATO IS YOMO 2.0 CONFIRMED. When Hinami mentioned how he doesn’t talk much that’s all I could really think about. Ahhhh… 

Ayato’s so dreamy when she’s making coffee for him. It’s like he’s silent and even Hinami commented that his mind seemed to be wandering. I BET HE’S THINKING ABOUT TOUKA because it’s in this same novel where Touka thinks about how she used to make coffee for Ayato as practice. 

Tsundere bunny is so tsun that he can’t even comment or thank her but Hinami knows him so well that she can tell he liked it and that he probably was happier and seriously, this is my favorite part, when she actually thinks that there will be light waiting ahead. Being with Naki and Miza comforted her and made her surer of herself but only when she was with Ayato did she receive some hope and courage. 

The imagery of Aogiri being a dark tree with shadows appears quite a bit here and how because of Aogiri Hinami doesn’t have much light in her life. She got used to the night, the base was dark despite it being noon, etc. But I think it’s interesting how there’s also light in here and all of it has something to do with Ayato– she went out in the day to get coffee beans and utensils for Ayato, it was after he drank her coffee that she was convinced that there will be light waiting for her. 

There wasn’t a break here but I just had to split because I hate this scene so much ;-; 

Hinami you should have just listened to Miza and drank together with Ayato. Your coffee date would have been so much more worth it than giving it to Eto. 

What’s interesting is that when she was going to Eto, it was referred to as her walking into the deepest of the tree. If there’s light waiting ahead, she’s walking away. (I wonder if this is me thinking too much into it, but if Aogiri is what covers Hinami with darkness and shadow, Eto, the person who brought her in is the deepest part of the tree, also the darkest probably. On the other hand, Ayato who’s always asking her to leave the organization is the one who was compared with light here. If there’s light at one end and darkness at the other, one is the kind of life she had without the organization, with Anteiku, the 6th Ward Gang, her parents, etc, while the other is Aogiri.) 

Another thing I like is how, to Eto, Hinami is seemingly dehumanized? She’s just another member in the organization. She’s nothing special. She’s replaceable, etc, just like how Tatara treats her in the manga. Even though Eto knows Hinami is there, she doesn’t bother until Hinami calls out. When she offers Eto the coffee, Hinami describes breathing to be difficult as well. And this is such a contrast to when she was with Miza and the rest, because being with them actually made her comfortable. Miza in fact told her she’s important. 

Reading this after Rue arc makes me a little bitter because seeing how Aogiri is, there was so much more potential in there. The organization was so badly split between the higher-ups and those below. I feel like it would have been really interesting to actually see them falling apart before the raid. Just some untapped potential, which seems to go along well with the rest of Aogiri currently in the manga (ie. Tatara and Eto’s ‘deaths’). Sigh. 

Another thing I find interesting is how Ayato is not enough to save Hinami in a way? Like, the light he provided for her was immediately overshadowed by Eto. Because in the end, Hinami’s own desire is still much stronger– she wants to get stronger so she remains in the organization, she believes so strongly that she’s weak so she doesn’t believe when others tell her she’s not, but when Eto does something to reinforce her own insecurities, she immediately falls even deeper. I really feel so sad for her but I love this bit actually. 

Hinami being eaten up as nutrition for the tree– in a way, she was. Aogiri used her for her abilities, which were clearly very valuable– and then when she’s no longer there, they simply discarded her. I think it’s suitable how in the end, Ayato went to save her with the Anteiku people rather than Aogiri people. Even though she had friends here, it makes it seem like how the Tree had washed its hands off her because it was done with her. It had eaten its fill, you know. 

Sigh Hinami you really should have listened to Miza here.