#he's sending us both to hell lmfao

[shotmrmiller]

Waking up to find Soap peppering kisses on your clothed coochie. And ur like “whatre you doing?”

And he’s js like “just getting in my morning worship”

Alternatively you wake up to his tongue deep inside your pussy

you're like that's sacrilegious??? but he meant it. the wooden beads of his rosary are currently digging into your thigh and the small golden cross around his neck occasionally brushes your skin.

and then murmurs proverbs 18:22 into your cunt

[meadowscarlet]

SECRET’S OUT | HF39.

✩ — summary: you and hector are in a relationship that you both decided to keep private in order to protect yourself and him from fanatical fans and media scrutiny… that is until you are shipped with his teammate which sends him to do something impulsive: post you in public.

✩ — héctor fort x fem!reader

✩ — author’s note: not back i did this for funsies nd in honor for 24/25 sznnnn starting next month also i dont speak spanish i used google translate soz if there’s some mistakes 🫶🏼

liked by hctorforrt_, marcguiu9, pablogavi and 89,567 more

youruser italy was a dreaaaam 🇮🇹♥️🥲 !!!!!! will miss it here sm pero extraño más mi hogar (but i miss my home more)

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friend CHICA HERMOSA TE EXTRAÑO 😍 (beautiful girl i miss you)

youruser ��� gracias amiga (thank you friend)

marcguiu9 será mejor que me traigas algún recuerdo (you better bring me some souvenir)

lamineyamal yo también 😎 (me too)

youruser déjame en paz 🙄🙄🙄 (leave me alone)

pablogavi 😍❤️

* ♥ by author

random OMFGGGG THE BARCA BOYS?????

random she’s friends with marc and lamine?? who is this girl

random probably gavi’s gf? he commented a heart eyes emoji and she liked it

random GAVI NOOOOOOOO

random hector in her likes too stop

random i dont blame him she’s fine asf 😭😭😭

random im gonna kms

liked by hctorforrt_, pablogavi, daniwashington_ and 104,778 more

youruser 💐 volver a casa :) (back home)

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random as if she couldn’t get hotter ofc she’s a culer im in love

random hala madrid

random fuck off

friend stunning!!!!!

random she’s so unreal

random waiting for gavi to reply 🤓

random hector and gavi in the likes this is insane

pablogavi ❤️

random BITCHH

random I SHIPPPPP they look so cute together

random you’re delusional go back to sleep 🤣

hctorforrt_ bienvenido de nuevo (welcome back)

youruser :)

random NAHHHHHHHH FUCK OFF

random HECTOR WHAT

random SHE REPLIED HOLD ON

random wait what about gavi????

liked by youruser, marcguiu9, lamineyamal and 234,897 more

hctorforrt_ contento (contented)

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random THE SECOND SLIDE????? it’s so over

random the soft launch 😭 congrats 😭 whoever 😭 she 😭 is 😭

marcguiu9 vamos hermano ❤️❤️ (let’s gooo brother)

lamineyamal eres tan caliente 😫 (you are so hot)

random LMFAO LAMINE

marcbernal_ hermanoooo ❤️ (brother)

pablogavi vamonoooos 😍 (let’s goooooo)

random oh my god did anyone else noticed the similarities between y/n’s post and hector’s?

random YEAH i thought i was the only one 😭 the matching camera pose???

random but isn’t she gavi’s gf?

random nothing is confirmed

random i like her better with gavi

random girl boo

joaofelix79 hector con novia 😮 (hector with girlfriend)

lamineyamal él debería esconderse (he should hide)

joaofelix79 demasiado tarde 😂 (too late)

random SPILL IT WHAT THE HELL

liked by hctorforrt_, pablogavi, _ferminlopez and 113,767 more

youruser visca barca!!!!! 💙❤️ estoy muy orgulloso y feliz, el partido fue increíble! 🥹 (i am very proud and happy, the match was incredible)

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friend bonita! 😘 (pretty)

youruser gracias linda! 🥲🥲🩷 (thank you pretty)

random i was sitting behind her 😭 can confirm she’s absolutely gorgeous and veryyyyyy kind

random who’s kit was she wearing???

random she was wearing hector’s kit! she cheered so loud when he got an assist w fermin’s goal it was amazing 🤩🤩🤩

random SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. WAR IS OVER.

random i saw her wave hello to gavi?????

random man im fucking confused now

random cant let the gang know i fw y/n gavi hector issue

_ferminlopez 🤩❤️

* ♥ by author

hctorforrt_ tuve suerte 😁 (i was lucky)

youruser me pregunto porque 🤔 (i wonder why)

random ok it’s so obvious alr im crying

liked by youruser, paucubarsi, _ferminlopez and 237,889 more

hctorforrt_ @/fcbarcelona 🔥💯

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youruser chica orgullosa aquí 🙋🏻‍♀️ (proud girl here)

random she forgot the friend

hctorforrt_ hice lo mejor que pude para alguien especial 😉 (i did the best i could for someone special)

random rip gavi 🕊️

pablogavi ¿por qué estoy muerto? (why am i dead?)

random ICBBBBBBBB 😭😭😭😭😭

_ferminlopez 🍬🍬

marcguiu9 orgulloso de tí hermano 🥰 (proud of you brother)

random HOTTTTT

random VAMOS BARCA 💙❤️ (let’s go)

random finally had minutes and u delivered BLESS U HECTOR

liked by youruser, fcbarcelona, pablogavi, marcguiu9 and 457,899 more

hctorforrt_ mi amuleto de la suerte ❤️ @youruser (my lucky charm)

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fcbarcelona 💯🔥❤️

youruser 🥲 mi chico favorito (my favorite boy)

hctorforrt_ te amo niña bonita (i love you pretty girl)

pablogavi FINALMENTE (finally)

hctorforrt_ finalmente 😌 (finally)

pablogavi jaja ustedes chicos 🤦🏻‍♂️❤️ (haha you guys)

lamineyamal MAMÁ Y PAPÁ (mom and dad)

youruser sólo somos un año mayores que tú 😒 (we are only a year older than you)

marcguiu9 😍😍😍 hermosa pareja (beautiful couple)

* ♥ by author

random this is so adorable 😭

random I KNEW IT

random such a hot couple im dying

random they’re perfect i shed tears

random oh my days

random she’s so beautiful 😭🫶🏼

* ♥ by author

alejandrobalde 🔥

random so i can still have gavi 😍

random brother eugh

[theodorenmyth]

LMAO I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS IDEA 😭

Okay SO MALE READER X MATTHEO & LORENZO BUT LIKE MALE READER CAN DEEPEN THEIR VOICE IN AN UNHOLY WAY. IMAGINE THE FEAR THE BOYS GET WHEN THEY HEAR READER SAY “I’m Batman” IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 😭😭

Midnight Pranks

Pairings ; Mattheo Riddle x M!Reader x Lorenzo Berkshire

Summary ; In the dead of night, you decide to prank your boyfriends, Mattheo Riddle and Lorenzo, by using your ability to deepen your voice in an unholy way. Waking them with an ominous "I'm Batman," you send the two into a panic. Amidst curses and laughter, the three of you end up sneaking into the kitchens for a late-night snack, turning a terrifying wake-up call into a memorable midnight adventure.

A/N ; STOP I CAN IMAGINE THIS LMFAO, ENJOY WILL!!

Warnings) ; None

Word count ; 800+

It's well past midnight, and the room is filled with the soft, even breathing of Mattheo and Lorenzo. They’re both sound asleep, the gentle rise and fall of their chests almost in sync. You, on the other hand, are wide awake, a mischievous grin spreading across your face as you glance over at them.

You've been perfecting your voice trick for weeks now, and tonight seems like the perfect time to unleash it. Carefully, you slip out of bed and tiptoe over to the middle of the room, making sure not to make any noise that might give you away too soon.

You take a deep breath, allowing your voice to drop to that unholy depth that always sends chills down spines. You’ve practiced this line over and over, and now it’s time for the grand reveal.

"I’m Batman," you say, the words rumbling through the room like a growl from the depths of a cave.

Mattheo jerks awake immediately, eyes wide with terror as he bolts upright in bed. "What the—" he starts, his voice cracking with panic.

Lorenzo isn’t far behind, flailing as he wakes up and nearly falls out of bed. "Who—what the hell was that!?" he yells, his voice shaky.

You can’t help but laugh, the sound echoing through the room as both boys turn to glare at you. Mattheo grabs his wand from the bedside table, ready to hex whoever—or whatever—just scared him half to death.

“Relax, it’s just me,” you say, still laughing. Your voice returns to its normal tone, though you can’t help but deepen it again for added effect while standing in a dramatic pose. “I’m Batman.”

Lorenzo groans, throwing a pillow at you. “You absolute fuckin' prat! You scared the life out of me!”

Mattheo’s glare softens slightly as he realizes it’s just you, but he’s still breathing heavily. “Do you have any idea what time it is?” he demands. “And why did you think it was a good idea to do that in the middle of the fuckin' night?”

You shrug, still chuckling. “Seemed like the perfect time for a little fun.”

“Fun?” Lorenzo repeats, his voice incredulous. “Nearly giving us heart attacks is your idea of fun?”

“Well, it was pretty funny,” you admit, unable to keep a straight face. “You should’ve seen your faces.”

Mattheo shakes his head, but there’s a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “You’re lucky we didn't hex you into next week,” he mutters, setting his wand back on the table.

Lorenzo flops back onto his bed, still grumbling. “Seriously, you’re a menace.”

You walk over to Mattheo’s bed, plopping down beside him. “Aw, come on. It was just a joke. Besides, I knew you guys would be able to handle it.”

“Handle it?” Mattheo echoes, raising an eyebrow. “We were asleep, you idiot.”

“And now you’re awake,” you point out, nudging him playfully. “So, technically, I did you a favor. You wouldn’t want to miss out on all the nighttime excitement, right?”

Lorenzo groans again, louder this time. “There’s no excitement. Just sleep. That’s what nighttime is for.”

You stretch out, making yourself comfortable. “Well, now that we’re all up, how about we do something fun?”

Mattheo rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling now. “Like what?”

“I don’t know. Midnight snack? Impromptu adventure around the castle? We could sneak into the kitchens and see what’s left over from dinner.”

Lorenzo sits up, looking mildly interested despite himself. “Food does sound good.”

Mattheo sighs, but he gets out of bed, shaking his head. “Fine. But you’re still an idiot.”

“An idiot with a plan,” you correct, grinning.

The three of you sneak out of the dormitory, careful to avoid the creaky floorboards. The castle is eerily quiet at this hour, the only sounds being your own hushed whispers and the occasional distant hoot of an owl.

As you make your way towards the kitchens, Lorenzo nudges you. “You know, if you ever do that voice thing again, I might actually hex you.”

You laugh softly. “Duly noted. But admit it, it was kind of funny.”

Mattheo chuckles quietly. “Maybe a little. But next time, try to keep your pranks to daylight hours.”

“No promises,” you reply, your grin widening.

You reach the kitchens, and the castle-elves are more than happy to whip up some late-night snacks for you. As you sit there, munching on freshly baked cookies and sipping on warm milk, the earlier scare is mostly forgotten, replaced by laughter and camaraderie.

Lorenzo gives you a mock glare. “Next time, I get to scare you.”

You smirk, taking a bite of your cookie. “Good luck with that.”

Mattheo leans back, looking at the two of you with a fond smile. “You two are impossible.”

“But you love us anyway,” you say, nudging him with your shoulder.

He sighs, but he’s still smiling. “Yeah, I suppose I do.”

As the night wears on, the three of you eventually make your way back to the dormitory, tired but happy. You can’t help but feel a little proud of yourself for pulling off such a perfect prank. Even if they won’t admit it, you know Mattheo and Lorenzo will be talking about this for days.

And as you settle back into bed, you can’t help but think about what prank you’ll pull next. After all, there’s never a dull moment when you’re around.

[base0h]

Sorry if I bother you or send you something a bit suck but I wanted to know if it was possible to you to do a hcs (or other forma, it doesn’t matter) with shanks and mihawk with a s/o who can copying everything (Haki, Mouvement, Physic, Devil power fruit, Everything) thanks to a rare Devil fruit..? Than you if you make it and sorry if it’s not corespondent to your blog or rules. 🐙

a/n - watch shanks fall in love with himself 💀 I added Law bec why not 💜

Warnings ⚠️ - g/n reader, s/o has copy copy no mi (copy fruit)

- At first, he thought this was some twisted nightmare where he met himself… “Oh god. It’s me.” He was so disgusted 😭 he was also so embarrassed whenever you copied his abilities, hearing you say “room” and “shambles” made him reconsider what he named his techniques. 💀

- “Room…” -law “SHAMBLES!” -you

- “excuse me y/n. It’s my attack.” Man was offended, you literally interrupted him lmfao 😂 he was all like: bitch don’t take away my spotlight it’s the only thing I have

- “But it’s cool when I get to say it!” He also hates the way his voice sounds now because of this. Overall, he’s very embarrassed of himself, so as a result, you do not use your ability around him much. BUT- he does appreciate it when the marines start targeting you instead of him 🤭

- “LAW. HELP!”

- “Huh? I’m not Law wdym?”

- “YOU EMO MOTHERFU- I WILL THROW AWAY YOUR GERMA 66 FIGURES.”

- “NO-!”

- (ahem, I will calm down)

- enjoys it but also REALLY hates it at the same time. Perona gets you two confused all the time, she’ll ask you where Mihawk’s wallet is and you have to remind her of your abilities. “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHEN YOU BOTH LOOK EXACTLY THE SAME?!”

- “Scars on the back are a swordsman’s shame!” You said, holding Mihawk’s sword in front of a pirate who had tried to take over the island. Your physique and features were perfect, an amazing copy of Dracule Mihawk himself

- “Y/n, I do not say that. The young roronoa says that. If you do something, get it right.” He said, sipping his wine while reading a newspaper under his umbrella. You glared at the man, turning back into your normal self before shoving the pirate off the island with ease

- “Can you at least admit that I am literally a perfect copy of you-?”

- “No, because you’re not.”

- “Why are you so difficult?”

- “Why are you so talented in things that do not matter?”

- “…You think I’m talented? 😖🥹”

- shanks absolutely adores the fact that yo have this ability. It makes for amazing party tricks! Turn into Uta and sing a beautiful song? Easy. Turn into Rayleigh so you can scold him? Hell yeah.

- you turned into him one day, and he was impressed. With himself 💀 “Damn- I look good!” -_- You had enough of him looking at you and complimenting HIS looks. So you turned into Rayleigh, and that my friend, is how you get your red haired man to shut the fuck up.

- “Shanks, do the dishes before I punch you.”

- “Yes sir.”

- man is deathly afraid of Rayleigh’s punch- 🤪 so everytime he starts fo be rude in any way, you turn into Rayleigh, it always works! Except turning into the dark king isn’t exactly great for camouflage against marines.

- they ended up seeing you and chasing you around since you looked like Rayleigh. “I’m not Rayleigh! I’m y/n l/n of the red haired pirates!” They stopped in their tracks, “Y/N L/N! THE LEGENDARY PIRATE?! GET THEM!” That plan of yours severely backfired, they ended up calling reinforcements.

- “Rayleigh you need some help down there?” Shanks asked with the literal most smug grin on his face. You got the best idea, while the marines were confused, you turned into a random soldier to blend in. They then caught sight of shanks and started going after him instead. Man did not think to argue with you ever again.

- “Baby I’m sorry 😭 please don’t ignore me I need love.”

don’t give him hugs

a/n - I loved this idea sm 🤭

[written-in-flowers]

Do you think you can go into more detail about Alicent catching Aegon going down on sister!reader 👀 that fic was so good and I love all the little mentions to things they’ve done together

Caught in the Act

Warnings: implied underage sex (consensual between two teens), cunnlingus, mentions of sex, being caught, Aegon not being a total sex god lol

Aegon always wanted to try it with you, especially after seeing it done in a brothel. He'd been younger then, and much less skilled in bed as he is now. But he saw how the woman reacted, and wanted to give you similar pleasure. He often felt, even at 16, that he did not do enough for you.

So when you two finished your lessons for the day, he brought you to his chambers where he claimed to have a surprise for you. Intrigued, you followed him and closed your eyes when bid. When you opened them again, Aegon was on his knees and already lifting your skirts. He explained what he wished to do, and the suggestion made your body heat ignite.

Kissing and caressing one another as clothes came off, the pair of you eventually ended up on the window sill. You sat on the ledge while he spread your legs apart. He'd only touched you here, so he thought kissing would be the same. Sliding his tongue around your folds, he only heard soft mewling that made him hard. He occasionally glanced up, hoping he was doing something, anything, to arouse you. You shifted around to guide him, so he tried following you.

By the time anything happened, his jaw and tongue ached slightly. "Aegon, my love, do you know what you're doing?" You asked, more amused than mad.

"I do," he defended, lying flat out. He'd die if you thought he could not pleasure you. "I've been taught by the finest brothel madams in the city."

"Then they were terrible teachers," you smiled, kissing him with reassurance. "I'll teach you."

And you did. The sounds you made were...so arousing. His tongue found the hard pearl between your velvety lips and slowly rolled around it. You moaned and grabbed his head to keep him there. He caught you gripping the ledge; he felt you trembling and tensing underneath him. He sucked the juices spilling from your entrance, which he dipped his tongue to taste and make you moan loudly. Soon, you were cumming and he groaned into your sex, satisfied that he'd brought you there. When you'd bent to kiss him, about to return the favor, a voice broke you apart.

"What are you two doing?!"

She startled both of you. Mother, in her green and gold gown and hair held back by a golden band, stood by the door in pure shock. Immediately, you both fell to the bed near the window, bashful and embarrassed by her presence. Aegon hid his erection under layers of sheets, and you put some over your naked form.

"He didn't put it, Mother," you blurted out in hopes to simmer her anger. "He was only..."

"I know what he was doing, Y/N," she said, that usual disappointing tone in her voice. "You two know better. Your both nearly grown, how can you be so thoughtless? Anyone walking by could've heard you. Ugh..." both of you could tell she'd forgotten her real reason for walking in unannounced. "Just get dressed. The both of you. I'll be sending Septa Jeyne to check on you. I cannot believe...Never in all my days..."

Silence followed her departure. Once you were sure she was gone, you reached through the blankets for his cock. "You heard Mother," he laughed, still hard but forcing it away, "Septa Jeyne will raise hell if she catches us." But your mischievous grin always melted his defenses. He kissed you passionately, and gave himself over to your expert hands and lips.

Septa Jeyne arrived right as he was helping you into your bodice. Mother never said anything about it, but Aegon suspects she preferred pretending she'd never seen it.

***

A/N: I wrote this at work, can’t you tell lmfao I absolutely love writing about dad!aegon and his sister-wife, so I’ll take requests on them any day <3

[kairiscorner]

teaching miguel internet slangs and kaomojis since he lives in the year 2099 they definitely dont use stuffs like “LOL” or “LMFAO”

OOOOOO yes. i feel like those words would be like old english to them idk 😭😭😭

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

helping him keep up with the times. – miguel o'hara x reader

you received a text from miguel, asking you where you were. you simply answered him, but with a little bit of necessary cuteness to your message; you couldn't send your text without a cute little kaomoji to express your emotions at the time, it was imperative you'd send one, and it should be cute, as cute as you!

you couldn't help but chuckle at how funny this interaction between you two seemed, he didn't understand the slang in your time and was constantly clueless when you used it around him. hell, even jess and peter b understood better than this man; he was helpless in this department, and you know you shouldn't, but poking fun at him for not understanding or doing research on the slang of your time was your way of having fun.

you couldn't believe him right now, 'ok' was all he could say? for shame. you texted him back immediately, your thumbs going a mile a minute as you told him you're showing him literally the cutest fucking thing in existence, to reply a mere 'ok' is a crime.

"he can't be serious right now," you muttered to yourself in both exasperation and in between fits of laughter seeing him be so clueless, does he seriously think that kaomoji is a creature called 'idek'? wow... okay...

you smiled at the kaomoji he sent, it truly was adorable, that must've been why he sent it to you. you decided to return the favor and send him a kaomoji that reminded you of him, and you decided it would have to be as cree– you mean, as cool as him.

you were certain he was going to ask you what 'fr' meant, but at least he's trying to understand. it was cute seeing him fumble and be confused over the slang and kaomojis you and the rest of the spider society used when texting, but it warmed your heart knowing he (though reluctantly) agreed to use them for you.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @fiannee @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @ophanimgold

[lovelie-ollie]

secrets. - jude bellingham

♡ pairing: jude bellingham x socmed manager!fem!reader

♡ summary: when jude is dating rma's social media manager and the internet finds out

♡ faceclaim: sullendin (on instagram)

♡ a/n: hello again<3 first time writing for jude! again im new to writing so this may not be too excellent♡ all the pics are from tumblr, pinterest and instagram<3

realmadrid

liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, y/nuser and 1,294,495 others realmadrid this is a jude victor william bellingham appreciation post tagged: judebellingham comments user1 jude be looking extra fine in a rma kit user2 HE IS SO???? i want him so bad im going insanee🙏🤧 user3 no other rma player is given a separate post like this🤨something is suspicious here... ↳ user4 bro chill its not that deep💀 the internet overthinks everything these days judebellingham damn i look good ↳ realmadrid you do:) ↳ user5 ?? ↳ user6 ??? ↳ user7 ???? ↳ user8 ????? user9 not jude and rma admin flirting- ↳ user10 hell no😭😣 user11 AND NOT THE FULL GOVERNMENT NAME LMFAOO

realmadrid 3 min ago

seen by judebellingham, vinijr, jobebellingham and 10,420 others *stories are no longer available*

y/nuser

liked by judebellingham, realmadrid, jobebellingham and 100,294 others

y/nuser and my man thank you to my man

tagged: judebellingham

comments

user20 she is so real for the 5th slide lmao😭 user21 she is so pretty?? user22 she can run a car over me and i'd still ask her to do it again user23 THE HARD LAUNCH IS HARD LAUNCHING user24 hottest couple i fear😍 judebellingham where did u get that 5th pic?? ↳ y/nuser pinterest hehe :) ↳ user25 she is just like us fr���� user26 Y/N JUST GIVE ME ONE CHANCE PLEASE ↳ judebellingham no:)

user27 something lgbtqia+ just happened in me. now im y/nsexual🤭

judebellingham

liked by y/nuser, realmadrid, vinijr and 596,825 others

judebellingham my pretty girl tagged: y/nuser comments user31 brb im crying to sleep user32 "my pretty girl" SCREAMINGG 😭 user33 hey just wanna let u know that i just send over the adoption paper. please sign it thank you. user34 my parents😙 vinijr w couple user35 when will it be MY TURN?? y/nuser youre my pretty boi ↳ judebellingham 💕😙🥰 ↳ user36 no no y/n i swear i can be a better bf than him user36 they are both so perfect for each other its crazy😔 user37 me and who? realmadrid love you too😜 ↳ user38 oh yea i forgot y/n is rma admin ↳ user39 not her commenting by real madrid's official account lmfao ↳ judebellingham babe do u wanna get fired??

[amhrosina]

short fic about reader comforting frank after he fails to save a girl who looks like reader!!!!!!!!!!! ANGST PLEASEEEEE (and also smut is okay with me if you want to)

Safe and Sound

(Frank Castle x f!Reader)

a/n: y'all i based this off of safe and sound by taylor swift so uhhh angst ahead

warnings: angsty as hell, canon typical frank stuff - violence, blood, etc., smut but with decorum!!!!, lmfao they do it on the kitchen floor where is said decorum???, anyways some religious imagery, frank just loves reader so much, reader sort of worships frank (who wouldn't??))

-

I remember tears streaming down your face when I said, "I'll never let you go"

When all those shadows almost killed your light

I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone"

But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight

Just close your eyes, the sun is going down

You'll be alright, no one can hurt you now

Come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound

It was all very simple, really, when it came to Frank. The shrill of your phone in the middle of the night, tearing out of your rumpled sheets, rubbing the blur out of your half-lidded eyes and running, running, to his apartment, which was only four blocks from yours. It was so, so simple. He needed you, so you would be there. 

He was covered in blood, hunched over the kitchen sink, heaving into the drain when you found him. A mixture of blood, sweat, and tears fell from his ghostly pale face onto the counter, staining it crimson. You froze, only for a moment, only to assess the carnage in front of you, and lunged toward him, pressing cool hands to his searing skin. 

He trembled against you, clutching at your body, your skin, anything that was an extension of you with blood coated hands. His legs gave out, a muffled sob leaving his throat as his knees slammed into the tile. 

“Frank, baby, what happened?” You gasped, cradling his head against your stomach.  

In a quick movement born of a desperate desire to touch you, his hands ran the length of your body, cupping the back of your knees and tugging, sending you crashing against him on the floor. Your knees straddled either side of his legs, and he used his leverage to crush your body against his in a bear hug. 

“Frankie, are you okay?” You murmured, running a soothing hand through his hair and down the back of his neck.  

He tightened his hold on you, pulling you impossibly closer to him. A shuddering breath released through his clenched teeth before he finally looked up at you. Your stomach dropped at the sight. The warmth that usually coated his gaze was nowhere to be found. When you looked at him, you weren’t face to face with your Frank. Staring back at you was the cold, dead eyes of the punisher.  

And yet, the longer you looked, the more you could see the cracks in his façade - the ones he tried so hard to bury when he left the apartment at night. A mixture of fear and relief stirred in his dark eyes, and all at once you felt both exposed and comforted under his gaze.  

“Talk to me.” You softly encouraged, cradling your hands around his jaw. 

“She looked like you.” He mumbled, searching for the remnants of himself in your gaze. 

“Who did, baby?” You pressed him further. 

“They had a woman,” he swallowed thickly, “She was half dead when I got there. I couldn’t get to her in time.” He shook his head, briefly closing his eyes. “She looked like you, and I lost it. I tore them to shreds with my bare hands.” 

He began to tremble again, and you watched as his eyes grew watery. You didn’t gawk, or scoff, or push away from him like many people would if they knew the brutality his hands were capable of inflicting on others. You didn’t move at all, becoming the steady rock that he so desperately needed tonight. You would not balk at his rage. You would not falter in the face of carnage. 

“I couldn’t stop thinking about it being you.” His voice cracked, and the ghost of a tear slid down his cheek. “I would burn the world if it were you.” He growled, a hint of his fury slipping through his tone. His grip on you tightened as the memories of the night resurfaced. 

“It wasn’t me, baby.” You breathed, running a thumb over the stubble that had built up on his face. “I’m right here. I’m safe.” His arms reflexively tightened around your waist at the word ‘safe’, as though he had to remind himself that you were physically in his arms, the safest place in the world for you. “I’m safe with you.” You murmured, ghosting a kiss over his swollen cheekbone.  

He snaked a hand up your spine, wrapping his hand around the back of your head. For a moment, the world ceased to exist. It was just you and Frank, wrapped in each other, soaked in the consequences of his perilous night. A single tear slid down his cheek. He broke the spell between you by pulling your lips down to his in a feverish kiss. His tongue scraped against your lips, a question and a desperate plead.  

“Need you, baby.” He mumbled against your lips. And that was all it took. 

You opened yourself to him, grinding down into his lap with a ferocity only reserved for wild, untethered nights like this one. He tugged at your shirt, nearly tearing it off your torso, and groaned when your nipples perked at the cool air. His hands roamed the length of your body, and something about his gentle pushes and pulls as he explored your skin told you it was not just out of carnal lust, but out of a desire to touch every living aspect of you. A gentle reminder that you were, in fact, safe and in his arms. 

“So soft, sweetheart.” he breathed, pressing a line of kisses down your jawline and onto your neck. “Can’t believe you’re all mine.” 

“‘m all yours, Frankie.” You arched into his touch, a breathy moan snaking its way out of your mouth and into the world around you. He tugged your pants down as you fumbled with his belt, and even though he was still mostly dressed, and your pants were sitting at a wild angle on your shins, the spark that he had ignited forced you to sink down onto him, grunting through the stretch and leaning into his chest like the devout do when they pray.  

You excused the lewdness of your thoughts, though you also felt like they perfectly described the relationship between the two of you. Frank Castle was your God, and you would worship him like this for the rest of your life. 

It didn’t matter that it was three in the morning, or that Frank’s demons were spectating this joining, or that Frank’s kitchen was covered in blood. All that mattered in that moment was the way your skin felt against Frank’s. The way you moved as a unit, seducing the pleasure out of each other slowly. The way you uncoiled around him, exploding in a desperate prayer to be full of him him him. The way his low, rough moans sparked another explosion as he answered your prayers a few minutes later. 

Sweat clung to both of your foreheads, and even though there were far more comfortable positions that you could switch to, you and Frank didn’t move as your gazes met – the helpless love and worship so plain and obvious in your eyes. Your bodies remained joined for a long while, breaths and heartrates returning to normal. 

When you finally moved, it was only to stumble into the shower, scrubbing the crimson stained skin until it was rubbed raw, but clean. You both fell into Frank’s bed, the late hour and chaos of the night finally catching up with your antics. He pulled you against him and pressed a warm kiss to your forehead as he wrapped his arms around you. You had told him once that this position made you feel invincible because you knew it was the safest place on earth, and he hadn’t forgotten it. 

“No one can hurt you.” He promised, the ghost of the whisper carrying from his lips to the shell of your ear. “You’re safe here, with me.”  

And you always would be.

Tag List:

@xleiaorgana @mukbee @dilfs5678 @kokoterainonago666 @blackwidownat2814 @callsign-mama @minervadashwood @emiemiemiii @h4rrys @messymissy @mylifeispainandiloveit @mossexe @fightmilk @spikedhe4rt @fictional-hooman @merleisapartygod @babyslyth @legocity2 @quackson03 @certifiedhunter @deliciousfestsalad @dumb-fawkin-bitch @americaarse @thatgirljayy @hiyabyeyababy @theesexystallion @scoliobean @myguiltypleasures21 @dnxgma @evyiione @gpenguin666 @desert-fern @day-dreaming-goddess @rayray787 @ginnysculture @ryebreadsworld @laaundromat @megmastersgf @alexxavicry @hallecarey1 @km-ffluv @chiaraxtargaryen @trulylavandedarling @D0wnbad @lilyevans1 @imagineadream @22carolina08 @definitelynotsugar @casualchaoticdevil @peachy-flxwr @nashja @xshewayout @blep--bloop @kpopgirlbtssvt @aynsleywalker @queenofthenoobs

[tokuvivor]

For this past Saturday’s final Halloween Movie Night of the month (this one focusing on the holiday itself, as well as Day of the Dead), once again, you’ll be getting highlights from both me and @violetganache42! So, here you have ‘em:

"Trick or Treat":

The triplets in their iconic Halloween costumes!

The rip having so much fucking camera movement and low volume

The Trick or Treat song!

@puffyducks: "she hurt his fragile masculinity"

The triplets watching Witch Hazel mess with Donald like: "Oh, boy! Violence!"

This fucking panel lmao

"The Town Where Everyone Was Nice!" (Rewatch):

"Have you ever been to Bahia?"

Panchito and José appearance!

Saludos Amigos easter egg!

The whole scene about Donald accidentally dropping Dewey's egg 😂

Scrooge still being a hater lol

Huey: "Uncle Donald, you're very successful. You raised three boys and are rich in love. Isn't that the true measure of success?"

Scrooge and Donald: "No!"

Violet: "How is that not successful?!"

Violet sharing GIFs of various moments from the episode like last time:

Autism diet (Donald's just like us FR!) (i.e. macaroni and cheese)

@alex31624: "Webby has fallen"

Violet: "in Lego City"

Puffy and Violet making FNAF jokes, from the Bite of '87 to Bonnie on the burro tour sign

Dewey's words of wisdom (screenshot from when we first watched this episode together last November):

Puffy wanting to throw Dewey and Louie into the sun a la Storkules

Violet upon seeing Scrooge's reaction to Donald taking his wallet:

@fantasticenthusiasttale: “Webby please we literally know only 3 phrases of english stop asking”

Alex: “is amazing that a brasilian plant knows english at all”

@writebackatya: “I just realized that both episodes have a moment where Donald is being wrestled by someone and he starts tapping out”

Huey and Webby not sucking in this episode

Alex: “who hires a mariachi for a kids party”

Puffy: “they took the gay </3”

Briefly discussing Webby’s party in The Last Adventure!

The Trickening! (Rewatch)

Huey as Gizmoduck!

Louie sucking in both episodes we watched

Duck Twins!

Why do people hate this episode?

“WE’RE GONNA ROB A CANDY STORE?!”

Puffy: “not poor bluebert 😭”

“why didn't they send Webby first she's the one that can fight lmfao”

“what the hell is dewey gonna do if he finds a monster”

Poltergeist reference

“Donald, you’re the victim.”

Launchpad’s ridiculous Halloween backstory

Uno reference

The kid that looked like Timmy Jenkins😠

Donald, Della, and Launchpad being an amazing dynamic

Launchpad and Scrooge’s fight!

Chris P. Bacon being one of the names on the headstones

Dreamy: “‘Last halloween’ meanwhile scrooge is out there 150 y/o still doing it”

Creepy twins!

The Shining references

Launchpad reading the candy wrapper

Beakley as Darkwing!

“I love Hallowoon!”

The poll at the end for whose costume was the best

Puffy: “no it's foreshadowing that huey is gonna DIE”

¡Felíz Cumpleaños!

Panchito and José are back!

The evil piñatas

Puffy bringing up The Book of Life

Will: “I’ve only played the game and had the cereal”

Fin

The charm of Paul Rudish shorts that take place in other cultures

Puffy: “me at 4 years old watching José rattle off Portuguese in The Three Caballeros (I have no idea what he's saying but I am enthralled)”

Will: “damn you looked just like JFK when you were a kid”

Coco

Why do people make Dos jokes about Uno? (It’s Italian (Due), not Spanish)

The opening narration being visualized through papel picado

Puffy:

Ernesto de la Cruz

Puffy: “1942 HE DIED 2 YEARS BEFORE THE CABALLEROS NOOOO”

The mariachi player that Miguel is shining the shoes of being supportive of his dream

@teleportzz: “never name a street”

“Papá is home?”

Dante being the best boy throughout the movie

Miguel’s de la Cruz shrine

Puffy: “my room looks like this but with donald duck plushes”

Miguel getting grossed out by the romantic scenes

Mech: “aromantic moment”

Abuelita smashing Miguel’s guitar‼️

Don’t mess with the dead!

Will: “Cut him some slack he’s just a little kid”

“Thinking by the heart not the brain”

Puffy: “No he should be responsible for all of his actions ever we've established this for fictional characters”

“especially traumatized little boys”

“Your photo’s on your dentist’s ofrenda.”

The guy in question:

The long line for customs

Héctor as Frida Kahlo

Mamá Imelda! (And her frustrations with the computer)

Alex: “the dead use windows”

Dreamy: “Then he finds out he cant have a blessing because hes adopted”

Puffy: “found family is still family”

Pepita!

@spamtoon: “cog this movie's environments are so beautiful” (very, very true)

Dreamy: “Hot take: Ernesto de la cruz is Mariah Carey for dia de los muertos”

The mango scene

Chorizo bullying

Chicharrón’s final death (very sad, but also, this exchange):

Héctor: “And her…knuckles, they drag on the floor.”

Chicharrón: “Those aren’t the words.”

Héctor: “There are children present.”

Miguel and Héctor shouting like Panchito

UN POCO LOCO!

Mamá Imelda singing for the first time in the movie

Puffy: “gonna be awkward when he dies and then he's stuck with all his family forever”

Puffy getting Latinified

Miguel’s dog🤝de la Cruz’s horse

Dante

Miguel and de la Cruz meet

Puffy: “YAYYYY movie over!!”

Dreamy: “Frida kahlo number 2 is his drag name”

Héctor revealing de la Cruz’s true nature (plus the fact that he killed Héctor and put it in a movie, like wtf)

Puffy: “he just has like. a big scary pit outside his mansion”

Spam: “like all billionaires cmon mark installed his last week. real big vanity point (joke)”

The origins of Remember Me

Puffy: “I like the convenience of the whole plot twist working because nobody ever bothered to say each other's names”

Dante the spirit guide!

Sneaking into the Sunrise Spectacular (shades of A Goofy Movie, anyone?)

Me: “If I had a nickel for every time I 2 I was mentioned in the server this week…” (the first time being me showing the recent Dancing with the Stars team dance to the song)

“I don’t know, I’m still mad at you!”

Mamá Imelda singing reprise!

Me: “I’ve never seen this episode of DWTS”

Puffy: “imagine seeing this shit live”

Alex: “you mean dead”

The crowd booing de la Cruz (Puffy: “WHO HAD THE TOMATO 😭”)

de la Cruz getting crushed by the bell again

Puffy: “well now he's gonna be on true crime podcasts so”

Me pointing out that Miguel left his sweatshirt behind

The scene where Mamá Coco remembers Héctor when Miguel sings Remember Me to her (and everyone loses their shit, despite saying they’re not (cont’d.))

One year later…Mamá Coco has died in the interim

Alex: “well, she was old as hell”

Miguel bringing it home with Proud Corazón

Dante and Pepita being friends in the human realm

Watching through the credits because yes

Me: “Hermosa. Una película muy hermosa”

Dreamy: “Another one for the latin-america Alex WOOHOOOOOO”

Me: “Hey, you gotta use 4 semesters’ worth of Spanish some time”

But yes, it was a fantastic movie.

[celestie0]

🪷 CTFUUUUUU your gojo and reader sex tape post was so hilarious omg. Ngl to me they don't give the vibes of a couple that make one (I don't mean this as an insult omfg now that I wrote it it sounds rude as hell) but the type who are professional phone fuckers.

Doja cat's Cyber sex is their national anthem I just know it I had a little locker room talk with reader she told me 😙. And yeah what you said abt gojo's schedule being all over the place as a player I'd thought that too, which is why phone sex is 🔛🔝 for these two. Just two freaky frogs omg I know that dude sluts her out bad and she doesn't want it any other way

He's a player (the *other* type of player) too so ofc he'd have expertise in the area of tasteful nudes but reader's learning curve will be so exponential gojo would be left in the dust in a short amount of time😁 RIP BOZO‼️

Imagine a little roleplay scenario where reader dresses up as a cheerleader for gojo after he returns from winning some final match as a victory treat. That dong goes up at an angle of elevation so steep you could make a mean trigonometric question off of it. I need him BAD I need him esp when he's sweaty after a gym or practice session I'd climb that man like jack was climbing that beanstalk.

Anyway I hope you've been doing well sweets! Thanks for being so nice to me in your last ask and I cannot wait to see what you have in store for us I wanna see that horndog be his authentic slutty self around reader finally 🗣️🗣️

Imagine a little roleplay scenario where reader dresses up as a cheerleader for gojo after he returns from winning some final match as a victory treat.

oh dear sweet baby jesus the scream i SCRUMPT AT THIS…HOW HAVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT oh mygooodd that’d be so fuckin hot 😩😩😩 i ran to add that to my notes LOL my head is in my hands i need to write that so fucking bad. HIM RAILING HER WHILE SHE’s WEARING A SKIMPY LIL CHEERLEADER COSTUME AFTER HE JUST PLAYED AN INTENSE GAME babe u cooked w this ty

HAHAHA i feel like they would make a sex tape but they obv wouldnt post it or anything lol it’d just be something they’d do when they’re both drunk asf while on vacation in their hotel room n then they freak out once they get home n realize they lost the flashdrive n someone out there in barcelona is now jerking off to their amateur avante garde porno

And yeah what you said abt gojo's schedule being all over the place as a player I'd thought that too, which is why phone sex is 🔛🔝 for these two. Just two freaky frogs omg I know that dude sluts her out bad and she doesn't want it any other way

okay you’re so right ab cyber sex being (at least post grad) kickoff couple’s anthem 🤧 that “i wish u were here rn” yup. but also LMFAO THATS SO TRUE AB THE SLUTTIN HER OUT he’d have her so downbad she’s flashing her titties at the webcam just cuz she wants to see him cum all over his stomach while he’s jerking himself off to her pixels ✋🏼😩 i was not anticipating to start this day off so horny LOL

idk i like to think all the nudes kickoff gojo has received in his life have been raunchy asf so when he’s so desperate to get a glimpse of kickoff reader while he’s away for work n is like “babe send me a pic please” for the first time n she sends something that’s genuinely really tasteful n artistic n subtle but sexy n leaves a bit to the imagination i feel like that wld drive him more insane than any explicit nude ever would HAHAHAHA

THE DONG GOIN UP YOU COULD PERFORM TRIG ON IT IM CRYING babe i wish to be half as funny as you are some day 🤣🤣

thanks my lovee omg im so happy you’re looking forward to it :””) 💕 you’re my honeybunch sugarplum pumpyumpyumpkin i love yaaa

- ellie 🐸

[not-goldy]

just because he sings all JMs songs on his live- to promote his music to his unique fans, boost his reach, generate sales from the free ad and marketing- doesn't mean he supports him."

LMAO NO WAY you really think jungkook put jimin's songs out to a bigger audience? how insulting wow. i see now you are one of those jikookers who think jungkook is the bigger artist between the two right... right... how could i forget those stream increases after those handful of lives (never happened btw nice reach jungkook!) or how it boosted jimin's sales (never happened again) no you're right so kind of superstar jungkook to help poor jiminie lmfao give me a break. honestly a shame god free jimin from the likes of you

Screech like a pterodactyl all you want numbers don't lie. And i know you are dumb but Unique fans simply means, in marketing terms, fans of Jungkook who are not fans of Jimin or BTS.

You, as a solo, will count as a unique fan of Jimin while I by virtue if being both Jk Stan and Army as will not count as Jm's unique fan even if he's my bias because I fall within the intersect on the fan venn diagram.

Common sense, should tell you- you don't need to be a marketing expert for this- cross promoting eachother to eachother's unique audience is good for business. If not, hybe wouldn't spend so much money building a platform like Weverse using BTS's massive fan base as leverage and even sometimes deliberately sending notifications of other groups to us acting like it was an accident.

Since they have the same fans, there would be no need for any BTS member to show up on Suga's shows to promote nothing yet here we are- does that make Suga a bigger star than Jimin or Jungkook or any member he features on his show?? Are you stupid?

You are wrong and you know it. Your toxic ass tryna create drama but no one's falling for it mate 😹

I'm glad you enjoy my emojis and gifs- they are cute aren't they😊

Now take your attention seeking drama queen crown off to the misery lounge and bitch complain to the other miserable folks in your band.

You will sit here and complain about Jimin not being pushed and supported and given the same treatment as Jungkook yet turn around puffing your chest out alleging Jimin is bigger and needs no damn support from no one let alone Jungkook.

Choose a struggle. Choose a narrative and stick with it. If JM is big and powerful and successful all on his own why the hell does he need assistance from anyone at all?

And I agree he doesn't need Jk's assistance. What is that going to do for him? Why give Army and Hybe trouble for focusing their energies and resources on the poor helpless ones with the actual problems who need help and support from fans and the company?

Since Jimin got his degree and he knows everything- don't you think it makes sense why Jungkook should be pushed and supported by well everyone? Poor Jungkook he needs to be pushed to be put on the same scale as his successful hyung because he is lacking.

Guys like share and comment Jungkook needs all the help he can get

And turn out your pockets we need money for studio

While we are at it the Pride fight for love shirts are out

Let's do our thing and sell out. We need the money to buy handcream. And keep streaming to keep him on bb🥂

Yall keep setting Jimin up it's crazy

If he wasn't my bias, I wouldn't even want to mention him post him or talk about him to avoid attracting lunatics like you.

Makes a lot of sense why Big OT7s stay far away from Jimin. His solos are toxic as fuck.

And to think, we show random kpop idols love just because BTS mention them or talk about them.

Too many of us had no choice than to accept Jikook just because Jimin fucks with jk. We all have our own ship preferences and yet here we are.

Not long ago I had my own people call me out for supporting Taemin when he'd been accused of making colorist remarks. I could Stan the devil if Park Jimin smiled at him just once. It's crazy the vitriol and hate towards Jungkook even though he's Jimin's favorite- a fact he's made known and iterated over and over.

Naa Jimin, it's time to put timberland boots in the guts of some of your so called Stans. They can't call themselves your stans and hate your family it's crazy.

And I used to hate Army for hating on Jm stans and solos but godamn I'm gonna have to jump on that bandwagon.

Free Jimin from Me, Mr Jimin will pick me choose me over your pathetic ass any day. Wanna bet?

Talking bout yea Jungkook did all that for Jimin but it was in the pandemic years ago- well Hobi went to support him eons ago what's up?

Jk sent trucks to his friends a while ago. So what's your point?

Jimin earned BBs months ago what's your point?

Hybe abused and traumatized him years ago, what's your point?

Nothing you say matters hereon, from your own logic, since they happened years, months, weeks, days, hours and minutes ago- so again what's your point bringing any of them up?

You're gonna act like you know shit when we only know what these men CHOOSE TO MAKE PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE.

Imagine judging someone by the little to no knowledge you have of him and what he does behind the scenes.

Not too long ago he was an asshole and fuck boy with zero social skills- now suddenly he's the model friend sending out trucks and buying jewelry for his friends??

YOU AINT SHIT

[sukirichi]

OH MY GODDDDDD CANON OMIYN KISS OMIYN KISS OMIYN KISSS, WE DID IN LIKE HALF A YEAR WHAT IRIS COULDNT DO IN FIVE YEARS IR WHATEVER 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ she can keep suna - or well… not suna :v

that chapter was insane tho, i hope iris develops a pregnancy ick to vanilla and projectile vomits every time she enters the room. i also know that rintarou’s little act is gonna bite his ass sooooooo hard, like brother pls you’ve never made a single good decision in your life and i know his ass can’t stand iris rn so 😗😗😗 i think no matter how in love yn was before this, it’s not gonna matter anymore, cuz there’s genuinely only so much someone can take before they mentally just cannot handle the heartbreak and disappointment anymore, going forward i think rintarou and yn are gonna work as a team to fight back against the queen, but they’ll never be lovers again me thinks.

that’s okay tho, cuz omi exists and he’s hot and he loves us and the rings mean nothing anymore!!! like genuinely, yn needs to realise morality and ethics are tossed aside when both parties essentially agree on a partner swap 😭 kissing a married man doesn’t matter when his wife is carrying YOUR HUSBANDS BABY LIKEEEE??? stand up yn…. babygirl you’re better than this…. omi’s a good man….. 😔😔😔 it’s time to move on from rinta, he wouldn’t milk a cow for you like omi would 😔

but i do understand, rintarou’s manipulation is harder to shake since despite his words, he genuinely was in love with her and his actions reflected that. it’s hard to rationalise that you need to leave and put yourself first, when the man you vowed to love for eternity through thick and thin and better or worse is like…. a total walking “woe is me” pity party. rintarou’s fatal flaw is that he believes he’s smart, but he’s honestly the most naive character in the story - and we can see him slowly learning, but he’s constantly on the offence when he should really be defence. the queen is good at attacking because she’s got years of experience on how to pick and choose her battles and fight (metaphorically) quick and aggressively, rintarou doesn’t have that.

anyways, banger chapter suki, i’m gonna reread it for the omiyn moments again, need to hear that man whimpering atp 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

(also you don’t have to answer my long ass multi chapter analysis ask if it’s overwhelming, i know it’s like a massive chunk of text, so it would also clog up the dash 😭)

- shhh anon

(ask sent before ch18)

HELL YEAH we managed to do what iris couldn’t in five years lmao 😭 GASP. not you calling him not suna LMFAO. you’re so right though, it’d be nearly impossible for them to work out as lovers after everything that happened between them but it is very likely they will team up together when they have a mutual enemy!

he wouldn’t milk a cow for you like omi would AGDKQLPQ honestly tho omi would do ANYTHING for us! he’s a good man, savannah 😭 and oh god yes that’s like the whole point of rintaro’s character and why he’s so hard to like but also difficult to completely turn away from. i read in some psychology books before that when actions are paired with sweet words, there’s a bigger chance that it leaves quite an impact and right now, rin is half half like he is genuinely in love now but just not... doing and saying the right things so it makes you wonder that like!! what could he be hiding!! why can’t he just be genuine!! and yes so correct, he IS the most naive character in the story like even atsumu has more guts and brains than him bcos we literally saw him pull shady shit just to keep his image good 😭 yes he SHOULD be on the defence ugh i love that, this is why he was never gonna win against the queen because the queen is experienced and knows and controls EVERYTHING in the kingdom. the only reason iris was ever able to one-up the queen is because her mother gave her evidence that the queen was the one who wanted the king gone 😭 also shhh anon thank you SO MUCH for always taking the time to send me your thoughts and theories, i appreciate you so much!! 💓🌷💫

[festivalofthe12]

SO this is probably something covered in the manga which I have since entirely forgotten, but. The Juunishi thing is reincarnation, right? As in, whenever the old Horse or Dog or whatever dies, they're soon/immediately after reborn as another new Sohma family baby?

Obviously there are metatextual reasons why the main characters are mostly grouped around the same rough generational range... but if you think of it that way, it makes more sense: in modern days, there's not that much variation in how old people get before they die, so it kinda makes sense that they tend to die and therefore be reborn at within a couple of decades of one another? maybe????? (of course this has been going on for a Long Time and stuff like infant mortality or just death at a young age due to injury/illness used to be much more common but. ignore that. maybe.)

ANYWAY my point is. Could Sohma adults potentially try to game the system and time it such that their kids will be born around about when older Juunishi members die? Thus giving themselves a way better chance of having their kid be one? (For those who would care about that, which we know at least some do.)

Specifically, I'm not sure if we ever got a stated reason for the huge age gap between Yuki and Ayame... but this sure as hell sounds like a plausible one, giving everything we know about Yuki's mum. Like, IDK if she deliberately tried to get the Snake (the Snake, Dog, and Dragon are all very similar in age, so presuming that their previous reincarnations' deaths weren't super sudden, that'd offer better than usual odds of getting at least one) and then realised she could do better, or if she got the Snake but wasn't satisfied and started planning things out for the Big One...

Though. the Rat would most DEFINITELY have been a high risk/high reward goal. Because. This time around, at the very least, the Rat and Cat both ended up the same age. :'D

Which, now that sounds like a fanfic idea just waiting to happen... but in practice, IDK if it would've really changed all THAT much? Yuki's mum would almost certainly have just disowned Kyou lmfao (possibly while trying to hide that he was even hers so she wouldn't be associated with the Cat??? no clue how she'd manage that though. I feel like the two options are some other random woman gets him and immediately the curse is revealed [and the main house would find out about that, ofc] or Kyou fjucking dies. I guess she could try to pass him off on a single father????????)

anyway uhh I know less about Kyou's parents. but. his dad doesn't seem the type to NOT send his kid off to Akito, especially if there was something in it for him.

So if this isn't that wacked-out 'the Cat gets weirdly lost for a while because he grows up with a random dude who doesn't even figure out about the curse for several years making it way harder for the Main House to track him (and honestly given that the juunishi transform when they're too weak and babies are Definitionally Defenceless even this doesn't seem all that realistic)' scenario. I guess the main difference would be just that Kyou and Ayame are siblings. Presumably in this case Kyou still gets raised by Kazuma and everyone knows his mum is his mum but she maintains some level of status by having the Snake. And I guess in this world Ayame gets treated more like Yuki because she doesn't have a better option this time round and is desperate to distance herself from the Cat lmao.

That's about as far as I've thought it through hahahaha because in the end this is more of a Kyou-centric thought experiment than Yuki really. But it's still kinda interesting (to me)!!!!!

[wa-royal-tea]

Previous | Beginning | Next

(Transcript & Translations under the cut & here - Click Pics for HQ Version!)

@thebrixtons​​​​​​

News Anchor: After the disastrous speech given by Princess Catalina at the veteran’s banquet a few days ago, people’s views of the Princess has began to change for the worse. Many has expressed their anger towards the Princess’ “insensitive” remarks during her speech—

Talk Show Host (Alex): What was she thinking? Does she really think she’s doing something with that speech?

Talk Show Host (Iman): Someone needs to give her a reality check. Does she think that just because she’s about to marry into the royal family, she can excuse what her grandfather did? What a joke!

Person 1: I knew something was off about her! Alfie must’ve been blind if he can’t see it.

Person 2: I know! I don’t want her to be our Crown Princess. So out of touch.

Tweet 1: OKG SHE APOLOGIZED COR HIM NOT APOLOGING ???? WHAT ABOUT THE WAR CRIMES ????

Tweet 2: Our??? What do you mean “our”??? You’re not one of us! Stop including yourself in this!

Tweet 3: amenda yang dia pakai tu?? Dia ingt ni majlis anugerah skrin ke?? 🤢 [What the hell was she wearing?? Does she think this is a movie award ceremony??] 

Tweet 4: the way she stumbled over her words lmfao somebody send this girl back to gb

Reply to tweet 4: i’ll pay for the plane ticket

Tweet 5: Why Catalina Beauchamp’s actions are disgusting. Ini bebenang🧵 [A thread]

Tweet 6: Her dad LITERALLY fights for the enemy. Satu family tu sampah 🚮 [The whole family is trash]

Tweet 7: First it was Alfie with his scandal, now her. Y’all are made for each other. #Sampah [#Trash]

Tweet 8: I want Marie back!!! #NotOurPrincess

The Wind Palace, Ahtolia (12:00pm)

Sofia: Oh god almighty...

Alfie: Mum...

Sofia: No. Let me talk first.

Sofia: *sighs* This...was a disaster.

Catalina: I-I’m so sorry, auntie. I didn’t know it would be like this.

Sofia: It’s already been done. People all around the country are livid. There’s even an online petition asking for the engagement to be called off.

Alfie: You can’t—

Sofia: I know, and I won’t. That petition won’t change anything.

Sofia: How did this happen, Catalina? Did you not have someone proofread your speech?

Catalina: I did! Alfie proofread the speech for me before I gave it to Anna. He said it was fine.

Alfie: She’s telling the truth, mum. I checked and it was all good. It was longer but I thought Lina cut the speech to make it shorter that night.

Catalina: I didn’t. Another page of the speech went missing, a-and I panicked because it was the final page. S-so I improvised on the spot.

Sofia: How can it go missing? Is no one doing their job properly?

Catalina: I don’t know. I already made sure to give all of the speech to Anna and she said she’ll proofread it again and set it up for me.

Alfie: Could it be someone is trying to sabotage Lina?

Sofia: What do you mean?

Alfie: I think this could be a sabotage. Lina has been getting wrong information in the past and was purposely misled. Remember the thing with the Prime Minister’s wife? Lina told me that no one informed her that Mrs. Sanjay is strict when it comes to customs.

Sofia: Hmm...

Alfie: What do we do now, mum?

Sofia: For now, you both should lay low. I already talked about this with Mary. We’ll postpone the tour until the heat dies down a bit.

Catalina: But—

Sofia: It’s for the best, Catalina. This is not a small thing that could be cover up in one day. Your speech clip has gone viral. The best thing for you now is to lay low while your mother and I do some damage control.

Sofia: Take a break, you both. That’s the least you can do now.

[eyelessfaces]

Do you think Llewyn would be a girl dad or a boy dad? I think he’d want two kids of each gender. But it takes a while for him to get a son then well Llewyn’s not complaining. 👀 Basically he’s got a breeding kink.

ough well so in my head I have a very specific headcanon of how your first kid "happens"

it's not planned, of course.

and llewyn is kinda getting used to it, so when you tell him you're pregnant, he immediately figures out you wanna get rid of it, and he hates himself for getting you pregnant and making the both of you go through this.

he's a bit shaken when you tell him you want this kid with him, but from the moment you try to convince him that he would be a great dad he is deep down all for it.

and I'm saying "deep down" because it's still hard for him. it takes him a while to get used to the idea that he will become a father for real (he technically already is with diane's kid, but well...... yk) and that the rest of his life is gonna be dedicated to his kid with you. life has already tried to drown him in shit multiple times, and he's scared it's gonna do the same with this kid, but he also hopes it's gonna do the exact opposite and light it all up for him.

and it happens to go very well. you have a boy that you name mike, and he is his dad's dead ringer. same big brown eyes, same dark curls, and you're even wondering if that kid truly has your dna and if he truly came out of you :') llewyn keeps on telling you that he has your nose and mouth but you can't see it. you even asked his sister to see a picture of llewyn when he was little and you swear that mike is the spitting image of his father.

surprisingly, adjusting to this new life isn't going so bad? music is going well, so llewyn doesn't have to run around the city all day to look for gigs, so he can take care of mike.

llewyn is absolutely obsessed with mike, and likewise. mike is so attached to his dad, if it wasn't so adorable you would be jealous as hell. the way mike reaches for llewyn everytime and the way his little fingers tug on his beard whenever he's in his arms never fails to make your heart burst.

a couple years go by, and llewyn is the one to ask you if you want another kid, because he does. and from now the breeding kink is unlocked👀 and the sex that comes from it is heavenly. maybe he gets a bit rougher, because he really wants to give you another kid. llewyn is usually a one round type of guy, but he wants to be sure that it takes. pretty sure you even leave mike with llewyn's sister and go away for a weekend but spend the entirety of it in bed because he's that determined to knock you up

and after a while it works and you're pregnant with a girl, and to answer your original question, he's BOTH a girl dad a boy dad, trust me. llewyn is obsessed with both his kids. his girl is his little princess and he'd die for her. he would definitely write songs about her and sing her lullabies with his guitar😭 I'm crying

and he definitely loves you even more for giving birth to his angels. he sees you as a goddess tbh.

(this got extra long lmfao sorry I was inspired. I had started a 'llewyn being a dad' headcanon post a while ago but it never saw the light of the day but I was able to incorporate some details from it there hehe)

(send me llewyn headcanons!!)

[nightmarecountry]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN MEME.

NAME: currently we mostly go by Wilds on here, though I (the host) am uh... between names, ha. went through some shit this year that i'm pretty sure triggered a host change/a new host split SO.

PRONOUNS: they/them collectively. it/its too if we're friends i think. it's complicated. host also uses she/her and (rarely, these days) he/him but again... complicated...

MOST ACTIVE MUSES: i mean. the corinthian, obviously, but which Flavour of him i want to write really depends on the day... over on my multimuse it varies WILDLY and often just depends on if there's a particular plot point or theme i'm rotating in my head a bunch.

RP PET PEEVES: look if i get into that here someone's gonna snipe me from the rooftops or something for having an honest feeling in public. i don't like lack of communication (or the passive aggression that comes with it), people feeling entitled to my time/attention/replies, or anyone making me feel obligated to do anything ever tbh.

EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS: i've been RPing for like uhhh... 17-18 years at this point. jesus.

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT: definitely angst. i like reading smut more than writing it (mostly because writing it gets stressful real fast), and i love fluff but it's gotta have substance to it. i feel like the secret fourth answer here is "depth".

PLOTS OR MEMES: hmm... it's sort of both. i honestly like ic asks most of all: not memes, but not threads either. i like having a sort of 'foundation' to work off of and going back and forth with it, but i can only really plot extensively with someone when i've gotten to know them well. i LOVE memes but i tend to need a lot of them because if you only send one there's a solid 80% chance i won't have an answer in mind KJNSDJKNSDF

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: medium i guess! i need to get comfortable doing short as hell replies again but i always worry people will take it as a lack of interest. i don't tend to do suuuper long replies because i have trouble remembering everything i've written lmfao

IDEAL TIME TO WRITE: somehow, 3-4am. i am rarely AWAKE during those hours right now but it's still just peak writing hours for me, probably due to lack of distractions.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: baby i'm not even like myself. but in all seriousness, i feel like as a writer you're always gonna be putting bits and pieces of yourself into your characters - particularly for RP which is a much more uh, 'close contact' form of writing, i feel? i can separate myself very well from my characters when writing fic or other stories, but RP i feel requires you to step into their shoes a lot more often and more consistently... so yknow. anyway man i have DID you'd better believe there are pieces of lots of us in all of our characters. good luck guessing where they are (it isn't hard).

tagged by: @peacereflected but i also stole it from @ohsunshine because i'm in love with them both. hope this helps.

tagging: you. but also @spacereflected and @talentforlying and [spins a wheel] @pohlepen