#he's reading really disturbing and depressing things ever written as romance

[ophelian-darling]

𝐁𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠.

Yandere Suguru Geto x Female reader.

Summary : Blessings form in different shapes and bright in different colors; Love being the fairest and liveliest one.

TW : Obsession, minor character death, discrimination, pregnancy, manipulation.

enjoy ♡

It is divine to think how hell would be regarded into grotesquely crimson images within the human imagination: Sufferance is too common, wounds as a thorn prick and lasts as a heart's ache, Yet consider this when we think of heaven: purity- innocence of Eden in its prime, everything that sources its beauty and continence from a glass sphere no soul ever stepped on, farthest from the nearest paradise which we -so far- know of. Every now and then, the glass sphere's page of the sky would rain glossy drops, bright in the charm of a moon's haze, kissing earth's soil ever so gently after a long fall through the dark space. The drop; a seed of everything that derives all good in this life, either blooms into flowers, little joys that are worth living for, or even people- lost angels on devil's land. 

Suguru believes he has an eye for perfection: the images of others reflect on his irises and pass, be a fragment of a forgotten dream and ghost in a corner within his anamnesis. life ought to be lived as a sort of a sweven, destined to be erased once the reaper sinks in its teeth; Not like you have much of an option as a sorcerer, you just keep fantasizing and drawing rose-colored glasses about a life you know you can't have, sighing when conjuring a dear friend's lineaments, feeling a warmth under an eyelid when a beloved's smile flickers through a faint image of cogitation. a needle of duty had sewed up every passage to his heart; there was no horizon to look up to, except that one of exorcising curses to no end, saving that little part of happiness that was rightfully his to others who already had a fair share of it.

Suguru would burn the candles of thought and wander around a series of scenarios: what would it be like to love? What color is romance and what taste are kisses? There must be a reason why the moon was put on a pedestal of artistry, or a color of blood to abridge all tongues and words of ardor. There had to be a reason why someone was so eager and willing to hand their hearts on a platter to someone else, someone who was looked upon as the apple of eye. It seemed absurd: humans are merely products of vice, planted to sin and harvested to destroy, every letter and word they utter weighs nothing heavier than a lie, So why would such a morbid creature empty the jar of heart on another morbid creature? It is a wounding, shameless lie.

Cease to feel and halt to sense, there was no meaning in draining the amphora of emotion on someone, a one who can't taste curses to know how much of a grace it's devouring. it's pointless to break the glass of heart over a bod that ignores your agony to indulge in its little world of pink lies. He just wishes- Only if, if he slices that part of him that screamed of humanity everyday, the part that made him extend a wing to shield the helpless from their demise… He hated having a heart. 

Once during a green summer, one that had a breeze of May and the pink warmth of Valentine's day, The sphere wrapped a blessing in a curse's fabric; a gift so pristine it competed with the glimpses of eternity with a smile and tore the horizon's edge with a kiss, a form of life that its existence on this cursed land was the vilest injustice ever committed towards its chastity. The Angel; now blossoming from the sphere's seed into a human with flesh and blood, nerves and bones, eyes and a beating heart, is left to be stained and tarnished, munched and swallowed by the imperfect- the bad seeds, the swirl of everything evil. a tear of a curse could lace a sea of blessings, and you had to be protected: from the serpents, the devils, the flawed, or anyone else that wasn't him.

"Y'know, Suguru, sometimes when I look through your eyes, I can see you fighting yourself, as if you were your own worst enemy" You started the conversation like this, so casually, with no hint or intention of digging too deep into his psyche.

July, casting blazing rays and nearly melting the shadows outside, while the pair of you decided to remain in class for no obvious purpose. Suguru didn't mind having you around, aware that you weren't going to engage in tittle-tattling, leaving him with the room to think. It's been a long year. 

With a strike of sudden concern, and maybe a little suspicion, He directs his whole posture towards you, noticing your relaxed position on the seat beside his. a silence of something that was about to begin stretched before he asked "What do you mean?" 

a Winter night smile drew itself on your lips. In a movement of Bonnie Parker leaning on her motorcycle, you faced his confused comportment, rolling your eyes playfully before replying "You thought that no one would notice? That's cute. but I must admit, you're so good at hiding it, even Satoru wasn't able to see it, I'm surprised!" something brightened in your expression, contradicting the words you just said. As if you were Suguru's Anima; you spoke so confidently, insisting on extracting a part you didn't like of him.

And that confidence stirred a certain sentiment within him. something he would see as… vulnerability?

He stared. 

Another silence, silence of an absurd play, one that the audience certainly didn't need to absorb the scene. 

You continued "Amanai was a human like any other, someone with dreams and hopes, fears and triggers, and a family- and a lot of friends. she lived her life to the fullest… Well, maybe not completely, but at least she had some taste of blessing before her death. people aspire to horizons, living enough to reach it and sometimes not, savoring both sweet and bitter times before kicking the bucket. But that's not what we're talking about here" 

His eyes couldn't get any wider, the images played slowly and vividly while the cassette of that memory didn't seem to stop.

"She's a vessel that can be replaced. Lord Tengen wasn't in that need for her anyway. But are we sorcerers any better? no. we're replaceable as well, unless you are Satoru, which we aren't. Yes, we are strong, but still replaceable. The Jujutsu world needs to continue existing or else cursed spirits will blow everything to bits, and of course, we're the only ones who can keep it going and exorcise these creatures." 

Your fingers twiddled with your necklace, rolling it slowly as your tongue flowed. "I wanted to go everywhere too, I wanted to have a lot of friends to love without worrying that they'll die at any second. I wanted to wander around and behold flowers and snow without seeing an ugly cursed spirit…" 

His tongue wouldn't unwrap, au contraire to his thoughts. his mind moved as fast as forgetfulness would spell, drinking in all of your heart's tears. Perhaps, after all, he wasn't the only one who awakened to a harsh knowledge. 

You, are special.

"It's not fair… why should I be the one who gives up on their happiness to save people who know nothing of my sacrifices…" 

"I-.." your rant comes to a halt, a veil of guilt slides down your expression. 

"Sorry… I didn't mean to remind you of… back then, I talked too mu-" 

"No." He interrupts, his usual resting face painted over. 

"You can continue, I understand you…" Suguru smiles.

Ever since the curtain on your heart was pulled, you seemed to confide in him more; drifting away from Satoru and Shoko slowly and subtly. He didn't want to think of it, yet these pages of poems and lines of serenades whispered something to him everytime he looked through you. She must be unhappy too, Unhappy people are sensitive to the unhappiness of others¹. and to confess, it balmed a little comfort on his soul to see that misery brought you together. Day by day, both of you would speak for hours, crafting an imaginary horizon where everything was a haven for a winsome world, goodwills falling like spring rain. Night by night, He who becomes the one to count the nights, scripting his nightdreams and rehearsing his hopes to a shadow of you that lingered in the corners, only for every word to blend into space once the daybreak spills through the clouds. 

Your voice; it is the voice of his mind now. The shadow of you is melodizing his thoughts and troubles of the heart, lulling his reveries and caroling his visions. The pages of romance flip like petals in the wind: as the silk of your vocal cords tailors the letters with red and pink, he is finally allowed to relish the true colors of so-called love. Yozo² is no longer fool in Suguru's thinking, for wanting to die alongside the one he loved, which Suguru Geto himself now, secretly, hopes to achieve with you.

"Have you ever thought about death?" Green-colored smile, surely wasn't grayed by anything. Suguru just thought, what did you think? Did you want to be with him no matter the place? 

The roles have been reversed. now you're the silent one; you were sure that you did talk too much that day, pouring your wounds into him that now they're his wounds. Guilt stinged your heart, only if you remained silent back then. 

"Um- yes, I'm already accepting it, we're sorcerers after all…" you struggled to compose a thought he'd like, it came out as what a child attempting wisdom would say. speaking to your friend has become a difficult task lately, you didn't want to lose the thread of thinking you shared together, and he seemed quite pleased to talk to you. 

He chuckled. 

"Never thought of making it better for yourself at least?" 

What…

"I used to think so too. But slowly, I'm finally able to see what I was too blinded to see. Remember when you said that you wanted to have a lot of friends and go everywhere? that's rightful of you to ask- but you can't get it whether you plead for it or not. I'm telling you; I know it very well when I say you can have everything you want if you step up and take control." stated he.

As if looking for any other person who seems to notice that there's something odd, you glanced around. nothing was in sight except the trees and grass of the long forest line. 

His face didn't move when he continued "You see, we forgot that we were stronger, smarter and more skilled than the ordinary, say evolution theory: creatures go through a long process of development to become advanced in brain and muscle. some reach the highest stage of development and become a human, while others simply stop in the middle or never start, thus remaining monkeys" 

For some reason, you imagined yourself operating on his brain: cleaving the front of his skull with a sharp scalpel, lifting up his scalp in a way a box of chocolates would be opened, unwrapping and milling his brain convolutions, looking through his memory and mind's eye to see when and where these ideas have crossed his mind so you can uproot them- it is your fault, you filled him with so much tangles for a sweetly simple soul as him.

"...And since monkeys can't survive on their own, we were the ones who would acquire and use their talents to establish Jujutsu and save them, doing it out of kindness and altruism, they give us curses and we cure them in response, continually and with no recognition of our merit…"  

Something in his eyes twitched; he sounded as if he was letting go of an ancient burden, the Messiah's cross thrown off by his back.

"... You, me, Satoru or anyone who uses Jujutsu is the purest form of life on this earth, we're destined to rule as much as we were to protect, to punish as we were to love. we sorcerers are chosen by the heavens…" 

"...Monkeys must die." the corners of his mouth were altered to a frantic excitement, seeming like he'd seen after years of being dim sighted.

It is a blessing to be ignorant. 

It started out subtly. Suguru would continue smiling- the line and twist on his face metamorphosed into one you have no knowledge of: it was strange, uncannily simple and eerily sweet, more of looking at a portrait of a goner and less of seeing a friend. His compassion faded, a mock-lively kindness replaced it, by the nature a moonlight would mimic a sunray's warmth. it is not change, nor epiphany; your friend was dying with no hearse set or heart settled- Suguru slept to no awakening so the priest in Gojo-gesa can breathe to every aspect of life. 

Eyes that used to behold the blessings in everything are now glaring with violence, gnashing its teeth to whoever and whatever didn't wield any cursed energy. it is visible for you to only see, all of the ink and blood jarred behind his eyes, masked perfectly and contained in a patient smile he wore to his subjects— our subjects darling! he would say, giving you a saddened look, as if his gift of a thousand obedient monkey wasn't enough to thrill you as much as it did to him.

“You know how much I love you, right?” he murmured, holding your hand. your eyes pierced the reflection on the vanity glass: a husband and a wife sharing an intimate moment, scenery of a devoted Genji holding a torn Fujitsubo³ and kissing away all of her distress. you switched your sight towards his hand, the one that stroked yours, the one that had on its ring finger a silver band twirled.

“And I'm willing to offer you everything I have, anything you want” He placed a kiss on the crown of your head, billing and cooing in his words “I just ask for a little smile in return, or a little ‘thank you’ for everything I do to us”

“You're taking advantage of innocent people, Suguru”

He scoffs “Are they really that innocent?! All they do is cause destruction and corruption. you're too kind to even call them people” the last word dropped like a glob of mercury, heavy and tarnishing. he's annoyed for sure that you ruined the romantic mood by mentioning monkeys yet again. 

“You're murdering people who came to you for help, Suguru…”

You saw it without looking at it, the flash of rage and loathing, with all its redness and heat a fire had less or more of. you hoped in despair ,maybe there's still the lingering blush of compassion in his heart; the comity of your dear friend Suguru, not the hatred of your husband the monk. His fist flew in front of your face, grabbing your chin and rotating your skull to his penetrating eyes. for a second, a thread was pulled in your chest, cutting your heart with a feeling of fear, was he about to strike you?

“I told you thousands of times… those you cry for so much are. not. people. Do you understand me?!” He pressed on each word, heavy breath fanning your face. you could only look back and try not to recoil under his gaze.

“They ruin our lives, they kill us, they cause suffering and they taint this earth with their filthy emotions… if it wasn't me who gets rid of them and cleans their trash, only heaven knew how much time left for us to live…” he digs his nails into your flesh, gritting his teeth at you “They made you unhappy, they tried to kill me while I was risking my life to save them everyday!” he raised his hands in the air, snarling with full volume. you're sure that Nanako and Mimiko are in another room hearing, and utterly aware of their agreement and devotion to Suguru. 

Frantically, he unwrapped his Gojo-gesa and threw it on the floor, shooting you a glare while he freed himself from the sleeves of his haori. his stare kept lining yours, and when he stripped from the white hada-juban, you've seen it, as if at first sight.

“Shouldn't a wife support her husband?! Why do I feel like everything else except for me matters to you?!” He yelled. it is not the first time you see the scar on his chest, in fact, you've seen it too many times that its lines were as familiar as the dimness of your eyelids. 

“Whom am I doing this all for?! for us! for our family! they're just like us, they've been belittled and cursed by monkeys and they had their happiness snatched brutally from their hands… all just because they were sorcerers” he calmed, yet not eased judging by how sharp his expression was. He dropped his arms to his side, reaching to cup your face and force you to see his eyes “You were hurt too… you begged me to save you years ago… you do remember the day we sat together in class and talked”

You do remember. 

The echo of that hour reverberated through his eyes. in their dark shade, you watched a reflection of yourself, helpless and gray, sew the first threads of his insanity. you wished if life had been a little more cruel and tore off your tongue before you ever got the chance to speak with him.

It's you who chiseled the priest.

He feathered a finger across your cheek, crooning honey “And you remember our dates too, all the kisses and embraces, our wedding and our nights together…” serene as a sea in spring, animating the past into a sweet lull. his eyes smiled to you, cording your heart when continuing “You love me, you love our family, our paradise— and him” His palm spidered to your stomach, stroking the node of flesh “You would never abandon him, would you?”

Can you even? He sojourned far in, tethered to you through a wall of flesh with a string stretching inside of him. the memory of his existence would carve lines in both of your bodies even after his birth.

“You're so selfless, that's why I fell for you darling” whispered he, drinking your silence in taste of obedience. Was there any release from the cuffs you wrapped around your own wrists? Suguru wasn't an imprisoner, he just smelted a bracelet you wished to wear, eager to please and in hunger for your praise, while you, in words and smiles, altered his brain to see in dark color.

“Why don't you say you love me?”  he coated demand with love, pouring foam on your ears in a whisper.

Your skin felt light underneath, like you could walk out of it as a coat. In times like these, when he gave affection and demanded it back, you could only say one thing, unlike a full colored prism of flirtation he can murmur to you.

“I love you so much, Suguru…” at first, saying it was like uprooting a rotting tooth, but as time passed and your tongue knew the taste of lying, it became like picking a fruit.

He smiled “Good girl…” 

His eyes glinted in red “...I love you too…”

[winns-stuff]

I have a hot take people might hate. I dont inherently dislike seeing Apollo's "side of the story," but it needs to be in a better written story and/or just not this one. This could be a time to disect the privlage and dilution he has built for himself by showing fundamental flaws in his thinking like maybe Apollo using Zeus bad leadership as an excuse for his actions but taking this thought to an unnatural degree. Not for us to sympathize but see how he is twisted and what causes him to be this way like cracking open a curious egg. It can still be a bad egg, but I want to know how it's bad. But, I do agree it fell closer to sympathizing vs. Exploring. Personally the first time I read it I expected it to be a dive into twisted logic and that's how I read it. However, I 100% see what people mean about it falling too far into dismissive and sympathising. I think that kind of in depth storytelling is better for a different story that is not Lore Olympus targeted at children who might not read it as an analysis of evil. Maybe less "his side of the story 🤔" and more "a look into the thoughts of a delutional monster."

Yeah I agree, I don’t think a lot of tweens just looking for a cute romance story to latch onto would really think too much about the complexities of a rapist. It’s weird honestly, I can see what she’s trying to do but the SA is already pretty much crumbled in this story and I’d rather her just forget about it completely. Rachel bringing this up now has made it clear that the sexual assault was only ever used for drama, it’s clear that she ran out of good plot points (that actually made sense in the story) and she realized that fans still wanted Apollo to be dealt with since it was literally framed in a way that he was going to presumably face some consequence. So she had no choice but to put this flimsy and rushed sequence together, it’s quite sad honestly.

I only say this since she’s written Persephone out to be the perfect victim of her own SA. Everyone believed her right off the bat despite Apollo’s crystal clear image, her trauma doesn’t have any disturbing or even depressing sides to it that we know of (we only get small peeks into it), what happened to her doesn’t affect ANY of her male relationships and she’s framed as being more content and safe with them rather than any female character she’s ever interacted with, she’s still so incredibly sexually active and most of all ready for any sort of intimacy with her partner no matter what. The comic has literally been showing us that Persephone rarely cares about her trauma since she treats it like such an after thought and whenever she does remember it it’s played off as some kind of inside joke more than actual trauma.

The whole SA is disgusting and Rachel should’ve never put it in her damn story if she didn’t know how to actually handle it not only correctly but with any sort of respect at all. It’s deplorable how she’s still dragging it on just for shock value and whenever she’s run out of things to put in her story. SA or any sort of terrible crimes against another person is not to be used as drama or some kind of “spicy” romantic development in your story, it’s so incredibly disrespectful to real victims and yet Rachel continues to do it which is why I have no respect for her. There’s just some things you don’t do for money or engagement and this is one of the things.

[captain039]

Drink your full

Dracula x reader

From:Dracula BBC version

Warnings: Gore, vampire things, mentions of religious things, sexual, intimacy, anxiety, depression, fluffy things used to calm anxiety. age gap

This will be after he finds out he’s not scared to sunlight blah blah, he just doesn’t die.

Artistic reader

This may be triggering just for the anxiety and depression, this is what I go through I just find writing about it helps my mind ease.

The night was cold, wind blowing through your window. You hadn’t closed it that night, passed out from exhaustion of crying. You woke shaking, groaning softly as you willed your body up to close the window. You shut it, body drained and tired. You glanced to the clock, 4 in the morning. You fell back into your bed, grabbed your phone and laid on your back. You read for a while, some free romance novel in the store. It was badly written but you had nothing else, you didn’t want your thoughts to cloud your head again. You read till morning, got dressed and left without waking your parents. You left a note on the fridge saying goodbye for the day and you’ll be back when classes ended. You listened to music on your way there, ignored the loud beeps and cars around you before you found yourself in front of your classroom door.

“Ah Y/n!” Your teacher greeted as you came inside while you took your earphones out.

“Morning Mrs Jones” you said voice a little groggy.

“Not sleeping well again my dear?” She asked and you nodded. Nobody was in the room just you and your teacher Mrs Jones. A sweet old lady who had taken a shine to your and your works.

“Well come sit, paint or draw your mind away, I shan’t disturb you dear” she smiled sitting down and sipping her tea.

“Oh I must warn you though, we have a visitor coming in a Mr Dracula? I think he said, odd name really” she said and you raised an eyebrow.

“Is he a vampire?” You joked tiredly and she scoffed chuckling.

“If a vampire enters here I will surely know everything before I die” she said and you shook your head smiling. You put your earphones in again and sat down. You grabbed your art book and pencils and laid them out before you continued your piece. A fantasy creature, fantasy was one of your main likings. It was large, owl like face and large leathery wings with a leathery body. Strange combination almost like a bat owl if that made any sense. You heard the door open, you assumed it was another student as you looked up but it wasn’t. It must have been the man coming today, early.

“Y/n!” Your teacher called and you paused your music.

“Oh don’t disturb her” he said while you took your ear buds out.

“It’s alright” you said curious.

“I wasn’t in a zone yet” you said as he stared at you.

“This is Mr Dracula, this is Y/n one of my prized pupils” your teacher grinned making you flush a little at the compliment.

“Ah and here is Jake” you glanced to the boy coming in. Quiet lad, skinny with blonde hair, cute in a way.

“Oh, hello sir” he said a little nervous making you smile. He saw you, gave a small wave and laid all his books on his desk.

“Who is that?” He came over and whispered.

“A Mr Dracula the master vampire himself” you grinned seeing his slightly scared face.

“I’m messing! Goodness, his name is Dracula though I don’t know why he’s here” you shrugged still whispering as you gave them a glance. He was looking at you, eyes curious making you frown. Nobody was ever interest or curious in you.

“Likes you” Jake mumbled as you went to smack him he dodged and chuckled. You rolled your eyes putting your earphones in as more students arrived. Your teacher let you do your own thing while she went over something with the class. You had been drawing since you were five and taught yourself all the way to now. You couldn’t hear anyone just felt the scrap of the pencil and the music in your ears thrumming with your heartbeat. You flinched when you felt someone by you and pulled your earphones out glancing behind you.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle, this is excellent work” the Mr Dracula said looking at your piece.

“A leathery owl?” He asked curiously and you shrugged.

“Skin like a bat” he said and you nodded.

“Curious mix” he whispered.

“Both night hunters” he added and you nodded again confused by his fascination.

“I like it” he said finally and you thanked him softly.

“Y/n? Was it?” He asked and you nodded.

“Mr Dracula” you said hardly believing the name. He chuckled softly nodding you half thought he might change it to a real name but he didn’t.

“I am curious though as to why you aren’t following the class, I can see why but is this not new to learn?” He asked kneeling and leaning against your table. You sat awkwardly looking slightly down at him.

“I know this- well sort of- I’ve taught myself everything I know, Mrs Jones says she can’t teach me new things with how I work, so she let me do my own thing and just do the written assignments when they come up” you shrugged speaking softly so you didn’t disturb anyone else.

“Fascinating” he said looking to your picture again.

“I guess- it’s not like everyone else’s, I’m not comfortable drawing human bodies or pieces of old” you said glancing around you. They either had portraits or a simple naked person posing, some form of olden art they copied or redid.

“I like your style” he said and you thanked him again.

“I thought you’d be more into the olden pieces, no offence of course- just” you shrugged hands cupped together in your lap as you fidgeted.

“None taken, I’m a man of new things, and this is quite new” he chuckled softly glancing to your hands and frowning.

“Are you-“ he went to speak but an alarm went off.

“Oh not another one, right come on everyone to the courtyard!” Mrs Jones called and you stood quickly ignoring his question and going out the door. Your anxiety has rocketed by the attention you received, you struggled with the crowd and stood by Mrs Jones as everyone gathered.

“You alright dear?” She asked and you nodded.

“Where’s your bag?” She asked seeing your nervous fidgeting.

“In the class I forgot” you mumbled and she sighed softly.

“It’s alright we shouldn’t be out here long” she said patting your back.

“What’s happening?” You jumped slightly as Mr Dracula appeared by Mrs Jones side.

“A fire drill, we’ve had more in the past month than last year! All because of the first year in science blowing up the Chen lab” she scoffed and you saw the man tense.

“Poor lad felt horrible, but that’s why you do not play with chemicals” she huffed making you smile lightly. She hated science and what they sometimes did in the labs, she’s been scared of it since her childhood by something that happened.

“Kaleb felt horrible” you whispered to her and she sighed nodding.

“I know, just I wish they’d be more careful” she huffed making you smile and nod. You glanced to the man his eyes on you like he was studying a creature. Your hands shook again and you avoided eye contact before the drill finally ended. You went back to the class quickly grabbing your bag and unzipping it. You held a hand sized stuffed bunny with super soft fluff over it. It was fake, silly little nose and eyes but ever since your mum bought it’s been your tool to calm down. The feel of the soft strands of fur, just something that helped you. Your phone vibrated and you glanced to it seeing Jakes name. You opened the message seeing an are you ok? On there. You smiled looking to him and nodding before closing your phone and putting your earphones in again. You drew silently, besides the music, in a zone, one hand in your lap with the bunny, the other sliding across the paper. Your class ended though people had gone without you realising. You sat alone still drawing. You pulled out your earphones and looked to Mrs Jones.

“Sorry Mrs Jones” you called and she looked up from her computer.

“Oh nonsense it’s quite alright you know I don’t disturb your zone” she chuckled making you smile and begin to pack up. Mr Dracula had found a spot in the corner sketching on a piece of paper.

“You draw?” You said as you walked to Mrs Jones desk.

“I used to, afraid I’ve lost some talent” he said turning the picture to you. You froze, it was a drawing of you, leaning over your table eyes focused. He capture so much detail.

“That’s- well detailed” you said as you glanced to Mrs Jones.

“I’m afraid everyone left before I got inspiration” he chuckled turning it back to himself.

“Oh” you whispered gulping slightly.

“I haven’t offended you have I? I’m afraid I do have to copy from somewhere” he said and you shook your head.

“No I’m-“ you stuttered slightly.

“Nobody’s drawn me it’s strange” you said flushing slightly.

“Nobody? What a waste of beauty” he said softly as he stood and gave you the piece of paper.

“Beauty?” You said confused and he smiled.

“You’re a beautiful girl” he whispered and you flushed. As creepy as it was your heart raced and your mind stopped working for a moment. You had never been interested in people your age, young men, no it was the older and matured ones like him that caught your attention.

“Thank you- I’m afraid I have to go my mum will be waiting” you said looking to Mrs Jones who was about ready to put the man in the corner.

“Ah yes, can’t keep parents waiting, I hope you can teach me one day of your skills” he chuckled as you waved goodbye to them both and left.

You rushed to your mums car and sat down quickly gripping the bunny.

“What happened?” She asked.

“A man came in today, odd name, he drew me” you said handing her the picture. She looked at it stunned as you were.

“Was he handsome at least?” She asked and you rolled your eyes at her light hearted jokes.

“Yes mum, but this is creepy!” You snapped softly.

“I know, I know this is strange, did Mrs Jones see?” She asked starting the car and leaving.

“Yes, she was about to put him in the corner” you smiled to yourself.

“Well that’s good then” she smiled at you.

Back home you laid awake for a while, the man on your mind, he had strange handsome features about him, probably old enough to be your damned father and yet your mind wondered stupidly.

Next Chapter

[letterboxd]

Love Thy Neighbor.

With her nineteenth-century American romance, The World to Come—starring Katherine Waterston and Vanessa Kirby—screening now, director Mona Fastvold talks to Ella Kemp about the need to create images, striving for ASMR storytelling, and just how much we owe Terrence Malick.

“We’ve seen a lot of movies during this time period in America about what the husbands were out doing… but they had wives who are at home, living their completely separate lives. What were they up to?” —Mona Fastvold

In the American Northeast in the nineteenth century, life for farmers’ wives is physical, lonely, subject to both the extremes of weather and their husbands’ moods. When Abigail (Katherine Waterston) and Tallie (Vanessa Kirby) become neighbors in The World To Come, their lives become infinitely more bearable.

What unfolds is a careful study of the ways affection and understanding can bloom in the most unlikely places. Based on Jim Shepard’s short story of the same name, Mona Fastvold’s desperately romantic film starts where Abigail’s diary also begins: with a new year, and new neighbors. Through lyrical voice-over and closely drawn scenes, Abigail tells of how, in the wake of unimaginable loss, her life is cracked wide open by the arrival of effervescent, free-spirited Tallie. She speaks of grief and exhaustion, but also of astonishment and joy.

Katherine Waterston as Abigail and Vanessa Kirby as Tallie in ‘The World to Come’. / Photo by Vlad Cioplea

It’s a story felt through whispers as much as kisses, framed by the blustery winds of the East-Coast frontier—and by the spectre of their husbands (Casey Affleck as the downcast Dyer, Christopher Abbott as the jealous, disturbing Finney) finding out about their new love. Fastvold gives each character just enough attention to let the relationships that matter most rise up all on their own. She does so with words, poetry that somehow feels alive, and with music—specifically, a stunningly passionate clarinet soundtrack.

The World to Come won the Queer Lion at Venice last August (where it miraculously had an in-person premiere), and won many more hearts at Sundance in January. It’s Fastvold’s second film as director, after 2014’s The Sleepwalker, which also starred Christopher Abbott, and was co-written by Fastvold’s partner (and Vox Lux director) Brady Corbet.

What did you feel when reading Jim’s story for the first time? Mona Fastvold: It was a home I wanted to move into. It was this feeling of thinking, ‘This belongs in my universe, and I belong in this universe.’ And I all of a sudden had a few images that I felt a very strong need to create. The first thing that I felt really compelled to do was creating this physical expression of joy after the first kiss. I had this image of Katherine in this wide shot, completely open and just exposed. And I was really compelled to shoot her in the snow by the grave as well.

I also wanted to frame her being tied to the house with a rope, working her way through the snowstorm. There was a lot of amazing text and maybe fewer images in the script, because it’s written by these two really wonderful writers and authors of novels, not so much screenplays. So it’s not a very technical screenplay, and there were a lot of things left to me to work out, which I enjoyed. But the foundation was this really good text.

Mona Fastvold on the set of ‘The World to Come’. / Photo by Toni Salabasev

The text is so striking, in the way it’s so verbose but never feels stiff. How did you keep the words intact while bringing these emotions to life? I cast some really good actors, so that helps! Then when you’re working with this kind of text, it’s not really a text that you can improvise or play around as much, you really just need to honor it. For me it’s really about finding the movement that will support the beats of the text. I like the edit to be motivated by a gesture, something that says, “I want you to look at this”. I’m trying to make the rhythm more exciting. Ping-ponging back and forth is less exciting to me.

When rehearsing, we’d create movement either physically, or find changes through long pauses already in the text, and then upon finding those organic beats I’d figure out with my DP how we can stay in one take for as long as possible, until we find that moment which motivates a change. I never like there to be a camera movement just for there to be something cool visually. And there’s all this subtext in the text, all these messages Abigail and Tallie are trying to send to each other. When are you being direct? When are you being understood? When are you not?

Particularly in recent years, we’ve been fortunate to have a number of films that reframe period pieces about forbidden lesbian romances. Why do you think we keep coming back to this kind of story? A lot of people feel compelled to say these stories have always been there, and to claim that part of history. It’s not modern, it’s not a new thing, but it’s just that these stories have not been told much. Especially a love story that takes place among farmers. We know a little bit about upper-class stories from some literature, but not that much from that time period. So part of the appeal for me was to say: this is a part of history. Even though it’s not a story about Napoleon, this story about these two quiet, introverted women is still worth exploring. And we’ve seen a lot of movies during this time period in America about what the husbands were out doing. I’ve grown up watching these movies, but they had wives who are at home, living their completely separate lives. What were they up to?

Finney (Christopher Abbott) reads Tallie’s mail. / Photo by Vlad Cioplea

You mention the husbands—I felt watching this film that it was set in a very different world to the likes of Portrait of a Lady on Fire, which a lot of people loved precisely because of how few men were in the film. But here the husbands play a really important part within the story about these two women, helping to convey their frustration and limitations, without taking over. All characters in a story deserve equal counts of love and attention from the writers, directors and actors. It was incredibly important to portray the men with as much nuance as Abigail and Tallie. It makes for a more interesting story for them, that their relationships with their partners are complex—they’re not just these male archetypes who are terrible and awful. Dyer was an interesting character, in that he’s striving to understand even though he doesn’t quite. And he had different ambitions as well, but this is the situation he’s in, and he’s chosen a practical partner who he respects, and I guess loves and cares for. But they’re running a farm together, they’re business partners as well and depend on each other for survival. When he says “I’ll die without you” it’s quite literal, in a way. I wanted to break these characters open and make them more difficult to deal with, for themselves and for the women as well.

Your picture includes a beautiful, and really unexpected score by Daniel Blumberg—particularly in the use of the clarinet, which feels like its own kind of narrative. Can you talk me through the process of weaving that into the story? I brought in Daniel even when I was developing the script and working on casting early on. I kept listening to ‘Three Pieces for Solo Clarinet’ by Igor Stravinsky, and somehow the instrument felt really connected to Katherine’s voice-over. It was important that the voice-over was not slammed on top at the end. It’s there, I hope, to have a bit of an ASMR effect where you feel it draws you really close to Abigail in a hypnotic way. That you feel like you get this intimate experience of that character by having access to her life even if it doesn’t explain things too much.

So we wanted to have the score speaking to the voice-over, which we recorded long before we started shooting as well. We would play it on set and Daniel would come in and play music there. So constantly being in dialogue between the text being read and the music being played was an important part of the process.

It’s time for some Life in Film questions. What is your favorite ‘forbidden love’ story? A film I really love, which inspired The World to Come, is Olivia. It’s from 1951 and it’s directed by Jacqueline Audry, and it was one of the first lesbian on-screen kisses ever captured. It’s a great movie directed by a female director when that wasn’t so much of a thing. It was an important trailblazer for this film.

Marie-Claire Olivia and Simone Simon in Jacqueline Audry’s ‘Olivia’ (1951).

What’s your favourite “Dear Diary” movie, the one that best uses a confessional voice-over? Terrence Malick pretty much cornered that market with some beautiful, beautiful attempts at that. We definitely have to pay our respects! Particularly Days of Heaven is pretty amazing. The voice-over work there is extraordinary.

What is your go-to comfort movie? It’s funny because I was asked that a while ago and normally I would just be like, “Anything Nancy Meyers makes is just so lovely”. She makes these films that are just like candy. But during the pandemic, it’s just too hard to watch these cozy movies, because it just makes you feel depressed. So right now, the film I’ve watched the most in my lifetime is Eyes Wide Shut. I also find it to be a Christmas movie… If it’s on anywhere, I’ll always leave it on, or just watch a little piece of it.

What should Letterboxd members watch after The World to Come? First of all they should watch Olivia if they haven’t seen it, and then the other day I watched Martin Eden—it’s an incredible movie. So beautifully made.

What is the one film that first made you want to be a filmmaker? I grew up watching a lot of movies. My family are cinephiles and I’ve always loved films. I grew up on a steady diet of Ingmar Bergman’s films during my teenage years, and Tarkovsky too. Seeing those films made a really big impression me. But what really inspired me in many ways was seeing Claire Denis’ films. The way she approaches storytelling is so intuitive. It’s so exciting. That resonated with me, and later on I recognized some of that in Lucrecia Martel as well. I just love how she handles time and logic and character.

Related content

120 Lesbian Films to Watch Before Saying All Lesbian Cinema is the Same

Pride: A Chronological History of Queer Interest and LGBTQ+ Cinema

Films Directed by Women

Follow Bleecker Street on Letterboxd

Follow Ella on Letterboxd

‘The World to Come’ is currently in select US theaters, and will be available on demand from March 2, via Bleecker Street.

[booksbookssomemoviesandbooks]

Book Recs

Hello! so for my first post, I'll recommend some books, so y'all can have a closer look at some fandoms I'll post about! enjoy!!

1.  

Harry Potter By J.K. Rowling is definitely an interesting, well-written series! there are 7 books however, and the books get bigger as the series progresses. It's sometimes difficult to know the exact order, so I'll list it below:

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Although the movies are great, they don't include all the amazing details, as with all movies. A short summary:

Harry Potter, a young boy who’s being constantly abused by his uncle Vernon and aunt Petunia, gets a peculiar letter from the magical school of Hogwarts, where he spends most of his time, becoming his home.

Quotes:

“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." ― Albus Dumbledore

“You’re just as sane as I am" - Luna Lovegood

“Mischief managed" - Fred and George Weasley

It is Important to know that j*r is a huge transphobe, along with other things, and is currently being erased by the fandom itself.

2.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians, along with the other series by Rick Riordan, is a definite must-read. With each book, you can really notice the character developments and a lot more! There is loads of representation in this one, with lgbtqia+ characters, black characters, Muslim characters and more. It's very action-packed and addicting, sucking you into the magnificent world of Half-Bloods and Demigods within the first page. The first series consists of 5 books, in the following order:

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief

Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters

Percy Jackson and the Titan's Curse

Percy Jackson and the Battle of The Labyrinth

Percy Jackson and the Last Olympian

THE MOVIES ARE TRASH SO I DEFINITELY DO NOT RECOMMEND WATCHING THEM BEFORE READING THE BOOKS!!! There were many changes and the movies aren't nearly as good as the books. A short summary:

Percy Jackson, a 12 year-old who lives with his mother, Sally, and step-father, Gabe, attends the private boarding school Yancy Academy. While on a school trip, his teacher, Mrs. Dodds, turns into a fury and attacks him. This, in turn, triggers a series of other problems and adventures.

Quotes:

“If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself.” - Percy Jackson

“With great power, comes great need to nap. Wake me up later." - Nico Di Angelo

“Even strength has to bow down to wisdom sometimes." - Annabeth Chase

3.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins is one of my most recommended series! With everything it deals with, from the Capitol to the districts to the champions, the books are amazing! 

Order:

The Hunger Games

Catching Fire

Mockingjay

Starring the movies is the amazing Jennifer Lawrence, but with all books, the movies have slight differences, although I definitely recommend watching them when you're done with the books.

A Short Summary:

In what was once North America, the Capitol of Panem maintains its hold on its 12 districts by forcing them each to select a boy and a girl, called Tributes, to compete in a nationally televised event called the Hunger Games. Every citizen must watch as the youths fight to the death until only one remains. District 12 Tribute Katniss Everdeen has little to rely on, other than her hunting skills and sharp instincts, in an arena where she must weigh survival against love.

(FILM SYNOPSIS)

Quotes:

"May the odds be ever in your favor." - Effie Trinket

"Fire is catching, and if we burn, you burn with us!" - Katniss Everdeen

“Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.” - President Snow

4.

Divergent is another book with a huge fandom, and rightfully so. This book is amazing, and you honestly can't live without having read it!

Order:

Divergent

Insurgent

Allegiant 

Surprisingly, I haven't watched the movies yet, but I hear that they aren’t that bad, so you should give them a go!

Summary:

In a world run by fictional classes known as factions, children who reach the age of 16 begin to choose which factions they wish to call home for the rest of their lives. Each faction comes with its own ups and downs, so it's definitely a hard choice, especially for someone as unique as Beatrice.

Quotes:

“Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it“ - Four

“We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.” - Dauntless Motto

"We are not the same. But we are, somehow, one." - Tris

5. 

You might have heard of this series, and it's really addictive, trust me! The Mortal Instruments is one of the most astonishing books I've ever read, and it's most definitely my go-to when recommending a book series!

Order:

City of Bones

City of Ashes

City of Glass

City of Fallen Angels

City of Lost Souls

City of Heavenly Fire

Again, (I know this is rather disappointing) I haven't watched the movies, but do check them out!

Summary:

Clary Fray's search for her missing mother leads her into an alternate New York called Downworld, filled with mysterious faeries, hard-partying warlocks, not-what-they-seem vampires, an army of werewolves, and the demons who want to destroy it all.

via: https://shadowhunters.com/shadowhunters-novels/the-mortal-instruments/#:~:text=Clary%20Fray's%20search%20for%20her,want%20to%20destroy%20it%20all.

Quotes:

“Heroes aren't always the ones who win. They're the ones who lose, sometimes. But they keep fighting, they keep coming back. They don't give up. That's what makes them heroes.” - Clary Fairchild

“If I cannot move Heaven, I will raise Hell.” - Sebastion Morgenstern

“The descent into Hell is easy.” - Motto of the Nephilim

6.

Gay. What more needs to be said?

SADLY, there isn't a movie yet, but I think they're working on one, or sure though

Summary:

Set in a world in which a female Democrat from Texas wins the presidency in 2016, Red, White & Royal Blue chronicles the illicit romance between the president's son, Georgetown senior Alex Claremont-Diaz (Dad is a Mexican-American senator), and Prince Henry of Wales, his childhood nemesis.

Via: https://www.wsj.com/articles/red-white-royal-blue-book-summer-beach-read-11565285001#:~:text=Set%20in%20a%20world%20in,of%20Wales%2C%20his%20childhood%20nemesis.

Also, classic enemies-friends-lovers arc and honestly it's amazing

Quotes:

“As your mother, I can appreciate that maybe this isn’t your fault, but as the president, all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term.” - Ellen Claremont 

" 'that’s because you can’t hear all the menacing gobbling.' 'Yes, famously the most sinister of all animal sounds, the gobble.' " - Harry and Alex

"History, huh? Bet we could make some." - Alex

7.

I’m sure you've heard at least a little bit about this book. While not nearly as famous as ones mentioned above, it's still just as good, of not better. I'd say this book is one of my favorites, to be honest. It speaks about a lot of topics people usually find disturbing, and it makes me so happy that it's there, it's written, it's amazing. PTSD, coming out issues, abusive relationships and more, this book is truly awesome.

TRIGGER WARNING 

Summary:

A young boy named Charlie usually dissociates, and pushes other people away. He’s afraid of beginning high school, until he meets two other students who show him how bizarre and amazing the world is.

Quotes:

“And in that moment, I swear we were infinite” - Charlie

“We accept the love we think we deserve” - Mr. Anderson

“You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love" - Sam

8. 

This book is honestly pro-feminist and I think that's much more than enough

Summary:

Kaur explores the true impact of sexual abuse and harassment, as well as the difficulties of immigrating, being a female, and depression.

It's also a poem

TRIGGER WARNING

Quotes:

“what is stronger

than the human heart

which shatters over and over

and still lives”

“you do not just wake up and become the butterfly 

- growth is a process”

“on the last day of love

my heart cracked inside my body"

9.

This book isn't very well-known, which really sucks because I really love how it speaks about the consequences of WWII from the German point of view. And about the Germans who did not believe in Hitler's ways. It's also based on a real story, and it's so cool

Summary: 

A nurse working in a nursing home meets a peculiar old lady who decides to tell her her story when she meets the nurse's younger son, Karl, who reminded her of her brother. Lizzie (the old lady) speaks about life in Dresden before the war, and even after it. She also tells them the story about the strange, magnificent elephant in her garden.

Quotes:

“That was the only way of keeping our hopes alive, by looking beyond all we were seeing around us, and the shadow of disaster that hung over us.” - 

“I think I have always had a strong sense of justice, of fair play, of what is right and what is wrong.” - 

“Our home should be an oasis of peace and harmony for us in a troubled world.” - Lizzie (Quoting Papi)

10.

This book is pro-blm and it's ahead of its time (by like 2 years but still). 

Summary:

Sixteen-year-old Starr Carter moves between two worlds: the poor neighborhood where she lives and the fancy suburban prep school she attends. The uneasy balance between these worlds is shattered when Starr witnesses the fatal shooting of her childhood best friend Khalil at the hands of a police officer. via: https://socialjusticebooks.org/the-hate-u-give/#:~:text=Sixteen%2Dyear%2Dold%20Starr%20Carter,hands%20of%20a%20police%20officer.

Quotes:

“Sometimes you can do everything right and things will still go wrong. The key is to never stop doing right.” - Lisa

“Daddy once told me there’s a rage passed down to every black man from his ancestors, born the moment they couldn’t stop the slave masters from hurting their families. Daddy also said there’s nothing more dangerous than when that rage is activated.” - Starr

“Everybody wants to talk about how Khalil died,” I say. “But this isn’t about how Khalil died. It’s about the fact that he lived. His life mattered. Khalil lived!” I look at the cops again. “You hear me? Khalil lived!” - Starr

[bangtanscenery]

May Flowers Masterlist

As the showers settle, seeds bloom into flowers and love flows through the air. Come May, and the flowers colour the fields and the sun gives warm rays of joy.

Introducing the second part of our two-part collaborative project: April Showers Bring May Flowers.

Below the cut, you’ll find stories that’ll bloom warm feelings, written by an amazing group of artists. Be sure to also check out our April Showers Masterlist!

AEQUOREUS

After finishing college, you finally get the chance to fulfill your childhood dream of opening your own restaurant with your best friend. The only difference is that in this one, you’ll actually have real food, instead of imaginary. Everything was going smoothly until you meet Seokjin. He may be one of the best cookers of whose food you had the pleasure to try, but his attitude… Oh dear, his attitude is deal-breaker.

written by @httpangelicjimin​ ~ READ HERE

BOY WITH LUV

After you graduated from college, you forgot all about Seokjin. That is, until he shows up at your high-school reunion. Will you two mend past conflicts or will you stay enemies?

written by @heyitsmeee2​ ~ READ HERE

SUFFERINGS

Growing up together, Seokjin had never thought that he'd end up falling for his best friend. He wasn't even sure if his friend was gay, all he knew was that he was madly in love with him. What happens when he finally musters up the courage to confess his feeling?

written by @bts-poetry​ ~ READ HERE

KNUCKLEHEADS

Sometimes you have to work a little harder to rebuild what was broken.

written by @randomkoalablog​ ~ READ HERE

STRAWBERRY AFTERNOONS

in yoongi’s eyes, you were the sweetest strawberry out of the bunch and no one could tell him otherwise.

written by @kitsutaes​ ~ READ HERE

AMARYLLIS: THE FUTURE

Everything always comes full circle. A soul falls into the ether, hoping to be reborn in the next cycle. If a desire is strong enough, it can manifest across space and time. Two souls reunite and are given a second chance, hoping that their love will be rekindled even stronger than it was before.

written by @thebiasrekkers​ (Admin E) ~ READ HERE

FLORAL

Reader has moved back with her parents in her small hometown; after her life hasn't turned out the way she had hoped, and dealing with bouts of depressive thoughts. When she runs into an old friend from school, can he help her through her low point to see the sunlight after the storm?

written by @boywivlove​ ~ READ HERE

LOVE BEGINS

After waking up and discovering that Hoseok is well and alive, the two of you have to figure out why the timer on your wrists says zero. In midst of it all, the two of you have to plan your upcoming weeding, dealing with family members and friends. You and Hoseok take on the challenge and grow stronger together.

written by @namluve​ ~ READ HERE

WRITTEN IN THE STARS

Hoseok had always been big on supporting his friends. Thus it came as no surprise that he ended up spending his free time at Namjoon's latest buiseness venture: a little dessert cafe. He didn't expect to fall for the cute barista who always worked when he was there though.

written by @moccahobi​ ~ READ HERE

AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES

You really want to leave a post-it behind saying something like: 'Going on a road trip with Namjoon, don't know when we'll be back.' But you're an adult, you're not petty. Except you totally are.

written by @joonsrack​ ~ READ HERE

SLEEP ALONE

Kim Namjoon, suspected leader of a drug ring and your recently discovered soulmate, has been arrested for the murder of two people. It’s up to you and three of his friends to prove his innocence and free him from his wrongful imprisonment.

written by @spicykoreantatertots​ ~ READ HERE

TEARS OF ANDROMEDA

Blind, but not broken - Namjoon has learned to live with his new ailment. He went on to continue working for the UK based firm. One day when meeting a new client - he is disturbed by the streams of light filtering in his vision. Then he hears a familiar voice.

written by @thebiasrekkers​​ (Admin T) ~ READ HERE

BREATHE: FOR THE REUNION

Jimin’s curse is broken, allowing him to return to his own time. But there is a sense of emptiness that lingers inside of him as he readjusts to his former life. Just as things start to make sense again, he’s greeted by a face he’s longed to see once more.

written by @thebiasrekkers​​ (Admin E) ~ READ HERE

SUNSET HEARTBEAT

The time had come for the seventh sun to rise. For the seventh and last color in line to have its cycle. As one indigo supernova signified the coming of a purple nebula, you and Taehyung spent the remaining of your last day together creating something of your own. If it comes into fruition can only be known years in the future. A decade after you found someone unlike anyone. Truly one of a kind. Someone with a destiny they couldn’t outrun. It has been 10 years since the birth of a purple sun.

written by @moonmintrails​ ~ READ HERE

AND MENDED HEARTS

the truth was out, there was no way for him to keep you away, he was your soulmate. as jungkook comes to terms with everything, he decides to help you recover your memories; taking you home and trying to recreate all of the most important events of your previous relationship.

written by @ddaenysus​ ~ READ HERE

PETAL TO THE METAL

every sunday, the farmers’ market took place in the center of town. vendors from near and far traveled to sell their crafts, their produce, their teas. as the local florist, you figured that running a booth each weekend would boost your business and bring in new clients. at least, those were your reasons in the beginning. but, now? now, you returned each and every sunday just for the handsome blacksmith who set up his handcrafted jewelry booth next to yours.

written by @luxekook​ ~ READ HERE

A FAIRYTALE’S EVER AFTER

Three months of adventure, three months of friendship, of romance, of love found and then lost. They aren't about to let it end like that, not when their happy ending was just in reach- and if the curtain falls too early? Then they're ready to push past any obstacle in place. or Dreams have a funny way of toeing the line between fantasy and reality. Three months before one of the happiest days of your life, your graduation, you find yourself into a mysterious bookstore called 'The Magic Shop', setting off events that lead you on a rollercoaster ride. Seven men arrive into your life- and they're determined to stay, for good this time.

written by @bangtan-dreamland ~ READ HERE

A ROLLERCOASTER (OF EMOTIONS)

As it turns out, a little will and a lot of love were all it took for (Y/N)'s bad day to become monumentally better. [Alternatively: The maknae line is very excited, the others just want to sleep, and there is an amusement park involved. Needless to say, chaos ensues.] 

written by @2dreamcatcher8​ ~ READ HERE

INFINITATEM VENATUS

After the first encounter with an Agent of Hell, the truth comes out about the world around her. Now Hobi strives to show her that, even if she is one of the chosen few, his love for her is real. Jimin also struggles to help Saoirse find the worth in her existence after losing her best friend to the darkness. While at Tenebrarum, Layla continues to confound the Devil - and he's not exactly sure how to deal with it.

written by @thebiasrekkers​ (Admin T) ~ READ HERE

[manuscripts-dontburn]

Prisoner of Night and Fog

Author: Anne Blankman

First published: 2014

Pages: 432

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 5 days

Though the first part seemed aimed at younger readers and I was ready to plough through many YA clichés, this is, in fact, a really well-written, solid historical fiction. Anne Blankman has certainly done her homework and her fictional character of Gretchen Müller, her sadistic and unpredictable brother and her seemingly weak mother are woven so seamlessly among the real historical characters I actually stopped reading at one point to look them up (and confirm they are indeed fictional). True, the inevitable romance was... well... inevitable from the first chapter and personally, I thought more time and character development would have made our heroine´s journey even more interesting and suspenseful. However, the moments which are meant to be disturbing ARE disturbing, the points meant to be creepy ARE creepy and I also very much appreciate the considerable historical accuracy backing the whole plot. Also, the fact that this takes place quite a long time before WW2, merely hinting at what is to come, rather than presenting the most overused - and overwritten - conflict and horror of the past century. Definitely a book more readers should try if they are at all interested in historical fiction that is written well.

A Supernatural War: Magic, Divination, and Faith During the First World War

Author: Owen Davies

First published: 2019

Pages: 304

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 10 days

Fascinating in focus and yet very tight and even sparing in style, this is a very interesting book that serves well to provide yet another piece to the puzzle of the social history of the First World War. My only major critique would be this: certain parts felt like encyclopedic entries which left one "hanging" - wanting more information but either there isn´t any or the author has decided not to include it. The author himself, too, acknowledges that white Christians were far from being the only ones entangled in the fighting and does mention beliefs and superstitions of other nationalities and faiths, but half a chapter does not do them justice. In other words, this study could have - and should have - been longer, because it calls to us through the ages with everything that is human, naive, fragile and hopeful.

To Be Taught, If Fortunate

Author: Becky Chambers

First published: 2019

Pages: 135

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 2 days

This was both beautiful and rather depressing. Becky Chambers has impressed me before and she has managed to do it again - on 135 pages of this novella. Her talent as a writer, her imagination and her sensitive treatment of the human psyche is undisputable.

Death of a Romanov Prince

Author: Terry Bolland, Arturo E Beéche

First published: 2018

Pages: 240

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 2 days

Unfortunately, this book was a huge letdown. The Konstantinovichi branch of the Romanov family have always had a special place in my heart and I jump at every piece of literature that concerns them - there are few in the West! Arguably Prince Oleg was the most promising of the last "imperial" generation and I definitely appreciate that somebody tried to bring attention to him. Sadly, this publication suffers from the same weaknesses as any of the books published and edited by Arturo E Beéche: A great number of typos and mistakes within the text. Amateurish formating. Sometimes the original photographs were very small and they are so enlarged you cannot see anything since they are very pixelated. Information and quotes are repeated numerous times. But those technical things could be forgiven if the text had value. I am sad to say that there is very little new information - on the contrary, the book takes such a broad scope to cover various relations and palaces (without providing pictures of what is being described) that it has no time to go in-depth at all. Case in point: there is not a single reference to the homosexual tendencies of Oleg´s father and uncle, even though their sexuality greatly affected their lives. The book spends time listing German and Russian and Greek relatives and mentions Oleg´s intelligence and good character but nowhere does it present any evidence of it. This is not an insightful biography I had hoped for. It is an encyclopedic, sterile and confusingly put together attempt at.... what exactly? I don´t even know. A great opportunity wasted.

The Good Bee: A Celebration of Bees – And How to Save Them

Author: Alison Benjamin, Brian McCallum

First published: 2019

Pages: 192

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 4 days

I very much appreciate the intent with which this little book was written and it certainly holds some fascinating information and helpful tips. At the same time, the text does not flow too well and reminds one more of a textbook rather than something that would truly inspire one to take up bee-keeping. I suppose I just wanted something else out of it than what it gave..

Hesse: A Princely German Collection

Edited by: Penelope Hunter-Stiebel

First published: 2005

Pages: 287

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 2 days

A well-put together catalogue, introducing just the right amount of information and full of beautiful, high-quality photographs.

The Forsyte Saga

Author: John Galsworthy

First published: 1921

Pages: 752

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 7 days

See my full review HERE

Girls of Paper and Fire

Author: Natasha Ngan

First published: 2018

Pages: 384

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 6 days

I liked the possibilities and the setting more than the final execution and plot. Other than that I just feel like I am too old for this kind of books. So maybe the problem here is me, really.

Lucia: A Venetian Life in the Age of Napoleon

Author: Andrea di Robiland

First published: 2008

Pages: 384

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 3 days

I have learned long ago that I am most open to gaining new knowledge through the stories of individual women. By looking through the eyes of Lucia I have finally understood the mess which was Northern Italy before, during and after Napoleonic times and I got introduced to an interesting lady. Definitely a win for me.

Pohorská vesnice

Author: Božena Němcová

First published: 1855

Pages: 181

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 4 days

Když jsem se konečně přenesla přes nářečí i slovenštinu, když jsem přestala kroutit očima nad tím, že celý příběh je o nedostatku komunikace, dokázala jsem ocenit krásný obraz českého venkova, jak jej Božena Němcová zachytila. A konec mne dojal oproti všemu očekávání.

Hitler's Hangman: The Life Of Heydrich

Author: Robert Gerwarth

First published: 2011

Pages: 433

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 5 days

Perhaps not the most exhaustive, but still very informative biography of one of the worst humans ever. The terrifying thing about him was especially the fact that he was so average and unremarkable in every single thing - and then he rode the storm and changed to always be on top. The author´s style is very readable and he manages to strike the chord between the academic and more personal tone well.

The Wife Upstairs

Author: Rachel Hawkins

First published: 2021

Pages: 290

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 2 days

I am not big into thrillers but this got me sold on "Jane Eyre inspired". It was quite good, though this type of writing does not make me crazy.

Conspiracy of Blood and Smoke

Author: Anne Blankman

First published: 2015

Pages: 416

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 3 days

A sequel to Prisoner of Night and Fog, this was solid, unfortunately it was not as good as its predecessor. The first book is about a girl waking up to the world, finding cracks in what she has been taught all her life. It is about her deciding to think for herself and how this affects her life and relationships. And since it is pre-Nazi Germany, these changes in her thinking are very dangerous. This second book, on the other hand, is primarily a detective story without a pay-off, and way too many things are spoon-fed to the reader or feel convenient. I also felt that most of the book followed a theme of "we know where to find information - we go get it - Nazis get there at the same time - we somehow manage to escape." On the other hand, if something did work, it was the romance. Passionate, devoted and loyal, and yet mature and believable.

The Empress of Salt and Fortune

Author: Nghi Vo

First published: 2020

Pages: 121

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 1 day

Lovely and breathing of history and legends. Modest in length, rich in the story.

The Library of the Unwritten

Author: A.J. Hackwith

First published: 2019

Pages: 440

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 8 days

First of all, as an author who is yet to finish any of her projects, I felt RUDELY called out by this book! Second of all, this is an absolute blast. An adventure with a heart, characters you cannot help but care for and so, so witty and clever in using mythology and even Biblical stories. Brilliant work!

Mansfield Park

Author: Jane Austen

First published: 1814

Pages: 584

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 3 days

I suspect that my enjoyment of Jane Austen novels usually comes with how interesting her heroines are. And so when I was given Fanny Price, who for the first 200 pages merely breathes and observes, I was almost less than excited. But once I was willing to understand Fanny was not there to amuse me, she was there to provide a comfortable, quiet place among the bustle of feelings and happenings of others, who only later recognize how much she herself was interwoven into their lives. Mansfield Park does not have the wit and comedy of Emma or Pride and Prejudice but stands on the ground as solid as Sense and Sensibility. It was slow and perhaps even a bit too long, but I enjoyed it a lot.

[yazzydream]

yazzy, i trust your taste so much now, since i found both russian roulette and heae the silence by your fanarts, so please rec' fanfiction

Oh maaaan. That’s so flattering. Lol. 

Since you haven’t specified for which fandom, I’ll just post my very favorites in general:

As you’ve mentioned we’ve got

Hear the Silence by EmptySurface - [Naruto, SI OC]

Russian Roulette by Vixen_Tail - [KHR, SI OC]

(For those who don’t know them.)

Harry Potter

Prince of the Dark Kingdom by Mizuni-sama - [AU] This one is… my all time favorite fic ever. It’s unfortunately not been updated since 2014 ;_; But still has 147 chapters. This is a ‘Voldemort won’ story where Harry stumbles back into the British Wizarding World and somehow Voldemort becomes his mentor. NOT Dark!Harry. That’s what’s so wonderful. You can see how the circumstances and changes in history led to everyone becoming the way they did while still being true to themselves.

Timely Errors by Worfe - [Harry Potter] A short sweet Harry-travels-to-the-Marauders-time fic. This actually has my favorite version of Harry.

Across the Universe by mira mirth - [Oneshot, time travel] This is… totally tropetastic and great. lmao. Like, you’ve got cynical Harry dimension traveling to a world where their Harry died that fateful Halloween night and James and Lily survived. The BWL is Neville. But it’s all from James’ pov who is simultaneously happy to have his first son back but is incredibly aware that Harry’s not what they expected to be.

Full circle by tetsurashian - [HUMOR, Harry/Voldemort] An absolute blast. This fic is so so fun. Harry and Voldemort/Tom have been in a neverending cycle of rebirth until they ended up in what seems to be their original timeline. There are all these amazing omake snapshots of their previous lives at the end of some chapters which are seriously amazing. My favorite so far is the life where they’re both girls who end up ruling their strict all girls-boarding school with an iron fist. lmao.

Ibex by AgeOfAlejandro - I will never get over how relieved I am I stumbled upon this fic again on AO3 after I thought I’d lost it forever years ago during one of FF.net’s purges. Uhh… how to explain this one. It’s Dark Lord Potter. The best version of dark!Harry imo. He’s manipulative and ruthless, but he still loves. All those things that make him care about people is still there. It’s just taken a backseat to what he feels is necessary. Last updated in 2012, so I’m not sure the author will come back to it, but it’s worth reading all the same.

Icarus by budchick - [Oneshot, Harry/Tom Riddle] It’s been a while since I read this. But Harry ends up in a world where Tom Riddle is raised by Tom Riddle Senior. It’s… well. He’s trying? But having a witch-boy who does some really scary shit and keeps traumatizing the servants is very stressful. Lol.

Naruto

Ghost by cywscross - [time travel] I am a trope whore. loool. So. We’ve got adult Naruto (aka Yuurei) time traveling to when his younger self was still with the original Team 7 to start off.  And, I gotta say I love it when the older self mentors the younger version of themselves trope. This is all from younger Naruto’s pov.

The Guardian Crow by dianamoth - [SI OC] SI is reincarnated as a summons. It’s such a good idea that makes way for a less complicated life when compared to other SIs honestly. So It’s good to relax with. 

With Nothing On My Tongue by sunshineinwriting - [team 7-centric] Naruto’s use of the kage bunshin changes a lot of things in how he absorbs information and matures. It sends a ripple down to everyone. Badass little child soldiers everywhere.

Claws Amidst the Cracks by Undead Artist - [OC-centric] Not quite self-insert, but OC-centric. And INCREDIBLY BRUTAL. Definitely heed the warnings. It’s super intense and fucked up, and made me cry so many times. OC wakes up as Sasuke in the aftermath of the massacre. OC, who is from our world, did not have a great life either. Anyway, it’s brilliantly written and I love it, but I know some people just cannot with how graphic it can get.

Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

Chroma Diamonds by Brick - [KHR, R27, 2772, R2772, AU] Slow burn, best burn. We’re nowhere near the romance bits, and it’s fantastic. The set up is: No one came to train this universe’s Tsuna (and yes, other dimensions existing is a plot point) and he grows up kind of twisted with his Flame sealed. Tsuna’s not… a bad person per se. But without anyone there to kick his ass into gear, he makes decisions that would probably freak out canon!Tsuna. Lots of Flame lore and culture. Namimori is a mafia retirement town. Ayye.

Colorire by The_Plot_Bunny_Whisperer - Just a feel-good SkyArcobaleno!Tsuna fic, good to relax with.

Welkin by Shivani - Another SkyArcobaleno!Tsuna fic. This one’s… huh, actually the only bashing fic on this list actually. Lol. 

Sidelines by esama - In one of those other universes that taken over by Byakuran, this Tsuna is the only one who remembers it when things are returned to “normal” by canon!Yuni.

For the Love of the Game by metisket - [Yamamoto-centric, character study] This snippet covers it pretty well: “It strikes him as weird that he’s had to struggle not to kill people, that it’s been such a challenge. He’s pretty sure that for most people, not being a murderer is way easier than being one.“

Undertale

Metamorphose by tuesday and The Great Boondoggle by Masu_Trout - [Oneshots] These are written by two separate authors but they follow similar themes and characterizations of Frisk which I adore. Which is that Frisk isn’t some sweet baby angel. All those possible choices that the player can make in Undertale? Yea, that’s part of their history. Frisk made those choices to kill or be killed, to commit genocide, or be a pacifist. Chara isn’t a separate entity that exists as a convenient scapegoat who possessed them. All those awful and wonderful things are part of their personality. It’s great. That said, neither of these fics are heavy/angsty. 

Orot by MiniNephthys - [Oneshot] Post-neutral ending. Frisk returns to the Underground.

Crossovers

The Warrior & The Wolf by worldtravellingfly - [HP x Naruto Crossover, Oneshot, Fem!Harry, Harry/Kakashi] Kakashi reincarnated as Sirius’ son.

Somewhere Far from Victory by ewfte - [Naruto x BnHA Crossover] Kakashi is reincarnated as Todoroki Shouto. I’m not really into bnha, so I usually have the wiki open to me as I’m reading. Lol. But it’s so entertaining. It’s fascinating (and sad) seeing what Kakashi makes of the world where he isn’t required to kill for his village from age 6, but still has to deal with… you know, Endeavor.

Whispers in Corners by esama - [HP x Sherlock, Harry/Mycroft] Harry makes a living as a “psychic” calling up the spirits of the dead. Mycroft hires him to tie up some loose ends, and they end up building a relationship.

Impetus by Crunchysunrises - [BtVS x Hunger Games] Buffy ends up in District 12. Which implies there’s more to life outside the Districts which is a no go for the Capital. So barely even understanding each other’s language, Buffy is “chosen” for the Hunger Games. It’s amazing. Because Buffy’s this sweet delicate looking valley girl who likes makeup and looking good, but she can still kick the ass out of anyone in the Districts, and they don’t see it coming.

Others

Apples Equals Cyanide Equals Light by Silver Pard - [Death Note] A highly entertaining introspective by Ryuk about Light. Who really really was very different from other humans.

Brightly Burning by Aishuu - [Hikaru no Go] For want of nail. Basically, what if Hikaru hadn’t joined the Go world until after Sai disappeared? Hikaru is fucking terrifyingly strong and depressed, is what. This last updated in 2009… so probably discontinued. Lol.

No One Left To Blame by Wix - [Oneshot, Team Iron Man, Not Team-Cap Friendly] A one-shot that pretty neatly encapsulates what I think Team Cap deserved post-Civil War.

A Disturbance Beside Him by ghuune - [Daria, Daria/Trent, Smut] It’s sexy definitely, but it’s their characterization during and about sex with each other that really really sells it.

THIS ENDED UP SO MUCH LONGER THAN I EXPECTED. I guess I had a lot more on my rec list than I thought. Or rather, when it comes to my favorite fics I always have to say something about it, don’t I? Whoops.

[bthump]

If you could change one thing about the whole Bersek series, what would it be?

Hands down, Guts and Casca hooking up.

That is the grit around which nearly every writing choice I hate grows like a terrible pearl. So maybe this is an unfair answer lol, because by erasing Guts and Casca’s sexual relationship we erase just about everything I hate about Berserk, so it’s kind of more than one thing, but I’m still going with it.

Like, Guts and Casca’s hookup shows up to the story 5 minutes late with starbucks and derails a shitload of what I actually love about it, and I’m not even talking about the gay subtext because it doesn’t derail that at all lmao.

Before Miura came up with the bright idea partway through of adding Guts and Casca’s relationship for the sake of more Eclipse drama (ie a long offensively gratuitous/eroticized/manpainy/etc rape scene), Berserk was a story about a dude and his own personal trauma. Black Swordsman Guts’ parallel backstories of childhood abuse and the sacrifice were all about things that happened personally to him, which is surprisingly refreshing.

Even the fetus wasn’t a fetus but just a random creepy demon meant to symbolize Guts’ own burgeoning monstrosity, with a much more sad and pathetic vibe than the beast of darkness, which tbqh I preferred.

After they get together Berserk is manpain central. During the Eclipse Guts doesn’t even care that Griffith sacrificed him, he only gets angry when he realizes all his friends are dead followed by the rape scene. And yeah okay in fairness I do kind of love that Guts doesn’t blame human Griffith at all or seem to hold any hard feelings towards him lol, but Guts feeling personally betrayed by the sacrifice as an echo of his childhood trauma is still way better writing and I’d take it over the Eclipse rape any day.

And everything just snowballs from there. No regressed baby Casca (who still gets fanservice-y panels, eugh). We’d have some entirely different plot to replace the Elfhelm sidequest, and chances are I’d enjoy it more. No moonlight boy, Guts would still be dark and fucked up but he wouldn’t sexually assault his infantalized ex girlfriend, the fetus would still be a symbol of Guts’ pathetic monstrousness maybe as a telling contrast to the “cool” beast of darkness, Guts wouldn’t be motivated by a fridged damsel in distress. I wouldn’t be living in dread that Miura is going to keep teasing the possibility of Guts and Casca living happily ever after together even after he assaulted her.

God just the prospect of Berserk not expecting its readers to ship Guts with a helpless baby woman who’s afraid of him, and find their dynamic heartwarming and sweet instead of disturbing as all fuck would be an enormous relief. Like I’m sorry, the narrative wants me to read scenes like the one where Moonlight Boy first appears and everyone awws about how Guts and Casca look like its parents and feel happy and hopeful??? Even if it’s set up for eventual tragedy, which I’m 90% certain it is, it’s still fucked up to expect the audience to want them to live happily ever after.

Also without the Eclipse rape NeoGriffith’s storyline would be so much less awkward lmao, and would actually work tonally. Like, all Miura had to do to prove that Femto is evil is have him like, casually murder a few surviving Hawks or something. Easy peasy.

Oh even back during the Golden Age, Casca wouldn’t need to be depowered so Guts could rescue her multiple times as a prelude to romance. I mean maybe we’d still have the one time, when they fall off the cliff, because that whole scene is more significant to Guts’ Griffith-related storyline than future het romance, but at least she could take Silat out herself, and she wouldn’t be casually sexually assaulted by Wyald just so Guts could quippily wake up in the nick of time and save her.

She wouldn’t have a breakdown by a waterfall and weepingly declare that she lied about caring about Griffith’s dream and wanting to support it, really she was just in love with him all along, because that ~revelation~ was just a set up for sex with Guts. Like she could’ve just been motivated the whole time by sharing Griffith’s vision for the future! She wouldn’t suddenly decide apropros of nothing to ditch the Hawks she considers family to leave with Guts, without getting any internal conflict about it or the same sense that she’s choosing to abandon loved ones that we got with Guts (that still completely floors me lol, what the fuck Miura. Guts leaving was a huge tragic production but Casca deciding to leave is neither here nor there? Fuck off.)

And we also wouldn’t have that painful “am I feminine enough for you Guts???” shit lol, complete with Guts’ wonderful “yeah you’re a hysterical woman ofc you’re womanly” response to one of those moments. Also in general the vast majority of Guts’ most unlikeable moments, at least in my opinion, are when he’s interacting with Casca after she becomes his love interest. We could cut most of his misogynist tirades, more sexual assault when he grabs her tit while she’s angry with him, yelling at her after Wyald nearly rapes her, and all the times he treats her like shit post-Eclipse even before the assault scene.

We could’ve had a great rivals to reluctant friends who bond over their mutual feelings towards Griffith type of relationship between them throughout the Golden Age! Just thinking about how much better that would be is depressing lol. And then when Guts destroys Griffith and his dream by leaving Casca could actually be genuinely incredibly angry with him because he actively ruined her life and hopes and dreams as well. God like, Casca’s storyline would be so much richer with the romance removed.

The only negative would be that she would’ve died during the Eclipse with everyone else. Like while I can imagine amazing scenarios where she’d survive and get a tertiary narrative of her own without being Guts’ love interest, I gotta admit that’s not what Miura would’ve gone with lol. But she’s been functionally written out for 250 chapters anyway now, at least a sad death scene would’ve been more respectful. And it’s not like I’m turning to Berserk for good female characters and representation anyway let’s be real here.

lol sorry this just turned into a long ranty list of everything i hate about berserk lol. Also to be fair if I had to pick just one thing to change, while keeping the rest of Berserk as close to the same as possible, I’d pick the Eclipse rape. Change it to Femto driving Casca insane with magic mental torture or something. It could even be significant to Casca’s narrative, like, hell, we could get a revealing hallucinatory and nightmarish trip through Casca’s mind and memories or something like that.

But yeah my first choice would be cutting the romance.

[innerpostmentality]

Sometimes Beginnings Start With Goodbye III - The Puzzle

This is a TRR AU fan fic inspired by the Choices book series The Royal Romance All rights and many thanks are given to Pixelberry Studios for the use of their characters. This fic is written for my friend @tornbetween2loves it started as a birthday fic and has expanded. Please read these stories in order or they won’t make sense. The series links can be found in my Masterlist. There will be more parts to this series. Pairing: Bastien x Olivia Rating: M - Mature themes/ Erotica                                      

Word count: close to 3000

Warnings: depictions of depression Tagging: @tornbetween2loves @gardeningourmet @kennaxval @stopforamoment @bobasheebaby @cora-nova @indiacater @hopefulmoonobject @drakewalkerwhipped @carabeth @darley1101 @furiousherringoperatortoad

     Olivia strode into the intensive care waiting room her black velvet stiletto heels echoing on the granite floors just as the clock marked 11:30. She immediately focused on Bastien as he rose to greet her. Her heart constricted as she saw how tired and broken he was. Not a hair out of place, immaculately groomed in his traditional black on black but it was there in his eyes, a dullness.     She wanted to cry. She straightened her spine and squared her shoulders, lifted one perfectly shaped brow and pierced him with her emerald gaze. “Have you eaten?”    He gave her a small bow, “Your Grace, Lord Beaumont ordered us a pizza when he got here… Thank you for coming.” She was here a bit earlier than he actually had expected her. Runway ready as always, every hair in place, her ensemble a dark burgundy linen sheath dress with stiletto black pumps, a medium handbag he knew was designer without having to look, and a simple string of pink pearls. Her elegance undeniable as ever. He looked in her emerald eyes he’d always found disturbingly attractive though he would never admit it, and he saw something softer there than he’d ever noted before.   Her voice brought him out of his contemplation. “So you haven’t actually eaten then.” It wasn’t a question.    She walked over and gently shook the sprawled and snoozing Maxwell awake. Bastien noted that she was gentler than usual as she leaned over and called to him. “Max. Maxwell…” He blinked and smiled at her. “Max I’m going to take Bastien to get something to eat and get him out of here for a bit. I need you to stay here and call us if anything changes or any new information is given to you.” She watched him for a moment as he sat up straighter nodding.  

“Let’s go for a walk and find something to eat, Bastien.” She slipped her arm through his and led him out of the waiting room and down the hall to the elevator. “Your Grace,”     She cut him off. “Olivia.” “Olivia, I believe there is a cafeteria that stays open in the basement.” “Bastien I’m getting you out of this hospital. You aren’t doing any good here. You are wound tight as a spring.” She lifted her brow at him. “We’re going for a walk and something decent to eat.”    He let her lead him out of the hospital and down the street a few blocks farther they found a bar still open. The neon sign was small but informed the night that Maenads was open. And the mouthwatering scent of grilled meat permeating the air insured the grill was still open.      Bastien opened the door for her and she headed for a long booth in the back. The bar was actually busier than Bastien would expect this late on a week night. Many of the customers seemed to be hospital staff judging by the scrubs that seemed almost as common as more usual bar attire. And Bastien noted that most of them had food and the look of someone taking a work break rather than partying, so he thought the food would probably be reasonable, fast, and good.       He slid into the booth on the opposite side from the Duchess as a young woman in a uniform that was designed to look like a Hollywood version of Greek nymph wear came up to the table and asked for their order. Olivia ordered an appetizer plate of spanakopita, dolmades, and falafel, Cider and tomato juice to drink, and plates of moussaka for them both after speaking with the server about when it was made and what went into it.     She ordered without asking him then looked across to him after the server had taken the order to the kitchen. Her voice was gentle, “I know you don’t feel hungry. And you probably wouldn’t have ordered so much food. But you called me. And right now I need you to trust me.” She impulsively reached across and patted his hands where he was holding them together on the table. She looked in his steel gray eyes a long moment until he nodded at her. “Good. Now I need to freshen up a bit. I’ll be back.”    He watched her slide out of the booth with the graceful ease of years of practice maneuvering out of vehicles and sitting in couture dresses so fitted they could have been painted on. He watched her walk to the lavatories so gloriously in command. He watched her as he’d always watched her with admiration that somewhere through the years had turned into something more.    Olivia went into the ladies’ room and was glad that no one else was in there. Picking a stall that had the buildings stone wall as one of its sides she laid against the coolness of the stone breathing in as she counted slowly to ten then out. She only allowed herself ten repetitions of this calming ritual before she used the facilities and washed her hands. She examined herself critically insuring that she was in perfect order before going out to join Bastien. The appetizers had arrived and he was just staring into his tomato juice.  “Bastien?” She slid into the booth opposite him.    He looked up at his name and she sucked in her breath at the devastation she saw in his gray eyes. Her voice was soft and gentle, “Did Maxwell call? Have you heard anything?”    He shook his head. “No, I… I’m sorry your Grace.”    She looked at him a long minute. Then nodded. Flagged down one of the staff and told them their order needed to be packaged to go.    Bastien looked up confused. She held one finger up at him. Then called Maxwell.    “Maxwell I need you to stay there until at least Liam and Giselle arrive. I’m taking Bastien home.”    Bastien started to protest and she pressed the finger she was holding up at him gently against his lips to silence him.   “Call me if anything changes. Otherwise I want peace. Do Not disturb Bastien. And Maxwell… Thank you.”    A few minutes later and they were walking out with a hefty bag of well packaged food and getting into a Lyft heading for Bastien’s house. Bastien was silent looking out the window. Olivia put her hand on his back. She expected him to tense up but he didn’t so she left her hand there. When they arrived she climbed out with the food and paid the driver before Bastien could.    He climbed out and held the car door for her expecting her to get back in. She locked eyes with him and shut the car door. “I’m staying.”    Bastien started to say something. Olivia lifted one brow her eyes never leaving his. He closed his mouth and offered her his arm and escorted her into his house. “Where do you want to eat? We are going to eat before this gets cold.”    He led her into the dining room. “You don’t have to stay, your Grace. I appreciate you coming for me.”    “Sit down Bastien.” She started pulling the food out of the bag and setting it out on the table for them.    “Would, would you like something to drink?” He was nervous. Suddenly very aware of her, of their privacy, of the clean, crisp scent of her.    Olivia pulled the bottles of cider and cans of tomato juice that had been packed with their food out and handed them to Bastien. “Could you open those for me please? This is rather like a picnic isn’t it? Complete with plastic fork, spoon things.” She examined the plastic utensil curiously.    Bastien knew she was trying to distract him. And it was working. He never thought he would have the Duchess of Lythikos sitting at his dining room table. There had always been something about Olivia that attracted him. But his duties never allowed him the time to focus on her as he was tempted to do. There was a svelte grace she possessed that was captivating.     He opened the bottles of cider and she smiled and took a sip.    “Not bad.” She grinned. “Not the first crop so it’s just crisp not bitter. Here, try it.” She handed him the bottle she had sipped from and watched as he took a drink. “Well, what do you think?”    The cool, tart sweetness actually reminded him of her and brought a hint of a smile to his face as he watched her. “Wonderful.” He took another sip as he admired her.    She picked up one of the dolmades and nibbled it. Then nodded and swiped it through some Tzatziki sauce tasted it again. Then offered him a bite. “Do you like them better with the sauce or without?”    His gray eyes studied her as she fed him. He had never really thought of her as a care giver and this side of her was a revelation to him. He was very aware of her touches. He wasn’t sure if it was conscious on her part. But he knew it comforted him at some primal level.    She looked in his eyes and gently stroked his cheek then took her seat. “Let’s try the moussaka. It should be good.”    He picked up the spork and tasted the food certain if he didn’t she would feed him. While he wasn’t opposed to her care he was feeling more inclined to eat now and watch her enjoy her food.    Her green eyes were attentive to him. And she continued to casually touch him as they ate. “Bastien, may I ask you something?”    “Of course, your… Olivia.” He caught himself, his voice was soft as he said her name.    She hesitated a little before she met his eyes. “I’ve known you for years and yet actually know very little about you, Bastien. How is it that I know your birthday is November 11 but I don’t know what drink you prefer, or if you like cake?”    “We socialize in different circles, … Olivia. When you are socializing; I am working.” He searched the emerald beauty of her eyes for a moment. “I’m surprised you know my birthday to be honest.” He looked down a little surprised to find he’d cleaned his plate. “As to your questions,” he smiled softly. “I like Zeos lager. And chocolate cake.”    Smiling she nodded. “I would have guessed chocolate cake. But not the beer. I would have thought, martinis or something more like aged single malt whiskey, straight.” She looked over the remains of the food and handed him the last bit of spanakopita then stood up and started picking up the empty containers and putting them back in the bag. She asked him where the trash was and disposed of it then came back and took his hand. “Come on Bastien it’s bed time.”    He looked up at her surprise registering in his grey eyes. Then he took her hand and stood up. He led her upstairs to a guest bedroom. Opening the door and turning on the light. He went in and pulled a set of sheets and a comforter out of the closet.   She watched him a moment with a thoughtful look. “Have you got a spare tee shirt I can borrow? I can make the bed if you’ll get me a shirt to sleep in.”    He nodded, “Of course.”    A moment later he returned with a soft, fresh smelling shirt and helped her finish making the bed. When they were finished making the bed she went and hugged him. It took a moment before his arms wrapped gently around her. Then he found himself reluctant to let her go as her warmth seeped into him and her arms around him gave him comfort. But he did. Bowing over her hand, air kissing it. His voice soft and hoarse, “Thank you, Your Grace, Olivia.” He squeezed her hand and met her eyes one more time before leaving the room closing the door quietly behind him.    Olivia looked at that door frowning for a long moment before she stripped out of her clothes slipping into his tee-shirt and hanging her clothes in the closet. She went to the bathroom and rinsed her mouth still not liking that Bastien was alone out there. But she wasn’t sure how much she could push. She climbed in the bed and looked at her phone. No messages. It was 1:30 in the morning. At 2:30 she was still not asleep so she got up and padded her way downstairs in search of a glass of water.     He was at the kitchen table sobbing. She went to him and wrapped her arms around him. After a moment he turned and wrapped his arms around her weeping into her chest. Taking his hand she tugged him gently urging him to follow her. She led him upstairs to his room turning on the bedside lamp before she started undressing him.     He didn’t know how she knew to come to him. He wasn’t sure if this was a good idea. But she was an angel of light in a world that was so dark she was salvation itself to him in that moment. So he watched though his tears as she carefully undid his tie and his shirt buttons and his belt slipping them off him. He watched as she turned the comforter and sheets back and pushed him gently to sit. And he sat and watched her take his shoes off and socks and pants then she laid him back in the bed covering him and went to the other side of the bed and climbed in next to him. She pulled him to her side wrapping her arms around him. And finally, carefully he wrapped his arms around her. Curled his body to her side and closed his eyes.    Olivia closed her eyes holding him. Feeling the tension in him she stroked him soothingly, kissing the top of his head.    Neither of them realized exactly when comfort turned to desire. When his large hand splayed across her stomach drifted to her breast beneath his tee shirt. When she lifted his chin to look in his eyes before she sealed her mouth to his, gently, slowly, teasing across his lips with her tongue, inviting him. Neither spoke fearing to break the spell of healing passion that was growing between them.    Their eyes locked, acknowledging, granting permission. Their breaths shortened, syncing as they explored each other touching, savoring the taste of kisses realized only in dreams before these moments. Olivia reached down and pulled her thong off. Bastien kissed her hands reverently then locked eyes with her again as he placed her hand on his boxers over his erection. She lifted her shirt and brought his mouth to her breast before she slipped her hand in his boxers to stroke the velvet steel she found there. He moaned so low she felt it in her bones more than she heard it. Then he was slipping his boxers off. His eyes never leaving hers as he slipped a finger along her slick labia watching her reaction. He spread her folds with his fingers then rolled over her kissing her, moaning his need as he entered her, slipping carefully into her slick channel. She gasped as she stretched to accommodate him. Tears were running down his cheeks as he thrust into her looking in her eyes with such profound need her tears joined his. The intensity of their passion so honed, so synchronized they saw the instant their orgasms blossomed together. He tried to pull out knowing there was no protection but she locked her legs around his hips holding him in her deeply as she came with him her body so thirsty for all his love their eyes locked together as her body milked him of every drop of seed he could give her.  He looked in her eyes in the grip of their passion and understood. At last that puzzle that had been before him was solved. How she healed him. Why she came for him. What it was in her voice. Why he had never married.      They were in love.     He didn’t know when it had happened. He suspected for him it had happened years ago. Now he was looking at it clearly in her eyes. And he finally had to speak. His voice was a deep soft caress as their breathing evened, bodies still joined. “Olivia, I love you.”    She burst into tears and covered his mouth with her hand. “Please don’t tell me that Bastien. Not now.”    He looked in her eyes and stroked her tears away. “Very well. But it is true.”    “There’s too much going on. And you are too hurt right now. And I.. I can’t bare the thought that when Drake gets better you might regret… So just please, not now. I need to know, to be sure it’s not this thing going on. I’m such an idiot at times.   Just come here and hold me. We have to get some sleep.” She saw his smile and his eyes were clear for the first time since she’d arrived.    Bastien rolled over and turned off the bedside lamp then rolled back and pulled her to him spooning her tightly against his body and went to sleep.    She felt him relax and heard the soft rhythm of his breathing, his arms wrapped around her. His body pressed close and she murmured the words her heart had kept for so long. “I love you too, Bastien.”

[lexpistachio]

Hi lex, i had a question. Are there lgbtq books/comics that you enjoyed that you think are more representative and are narratively better than cp? If you do i would love to check more out and get a feel for the differences.

Not gonna lie, I’ve been hemming and hawing about how to answer this ask haha. But thank you for your q!!!

Yes, there are a lot of lgbt books/comics that I have enjoyed better than CP and that I think are narratively better and which treatment of LGBT issues I did find more satisfying.

But I’ve also read (and critiqued) CP by itself, like how I read any other works, and try to come up with things that are objectively enjoyable about it and things I don’t like about it in a vacuum.  I wanted to shy away from making any comparisons, lest it be incongruous or void. I didn’t want to be unfair in comparing it to a work of a different medium or genre, or make hierarchies on works that tackle LGBT issues based on their treatment of it. And anyway, I feel like the brunt of my criticisms about CP has something to do with its abandonment of some of its storylines and its uncompelling character arcs and story. That is to say, I think… maybe any other well-structured, well-written story will do? 

For instance, I just recently finished Andre Aciman’s Call Me By Your Name, and it’s a coming-of-age love story between two guys with a sizeable age difference, and further, it’s a story where there are no extrinsic deterrents to their relationship and what drives the story are just their feelings, how they act on it and don’t act on it, and y’all it doesn’t even tackle coming out, or homophobia; in those aspects, you can compare it to CP, and it just does a better job of addressing the issue of age difference or in general, just expressing the nature of desire and physicality and confusion that comes with First Love. The younger guy’s insecurity, while it was assuaged, never really went away, but at least it was addressed. Are the two works really comparable? No. But did I enjoy it better? Absolutely. And it’s the same for like, I guess 90% of LGBT works I’ve read vis a vis CP.

And I have read a lot of stuff. In the interest of full disclosure, I did grow up reading shonen-ai and yaoi?? If you know what those are, you won’t be surprised at how fluffy comics with “queer” characters has existed long before CP (or, while at it, how reminiscent zim*its is of a traditional yaoi pairing with the Hunky Seme and blushing virginal Uke; might be also why i hate the pairing for how i’ve seen that dynamics a million times before). Though I make no value judgments about yaoi, I guess what I’m trying to say is that there are a LOT of romance (and even scifi and fantasy) LGBT works that don’t focus on queer issues, and they aren’t less enjoyable for that fact. The key is deciding early on if queer issues such as  homophobia is something to be dealt with in the comic’s universe, and not flip flop midway and ending lacklustre and lacking like how CP did it. I guess I wanted to address the point that our criticisms of its lack of discussion about stuff is waived because CP is “supposed to be fluffy”; I maintain that it’s worthy of criticism because it wasn’t consistent on its discussion. Shhh this stays as a secret lol but one of the earliest yaoi novel I remember reading was this pulp trashy novel Only The Ring Finger Knows and it’s about two guys falling for each other and navigating their relationship and living together and they don’t really face scrutiny for being gay. But all their insecurities and all the misunderstandings were addressed properly, and it’s not Man Booker material but I remember feeling satisfied.

In addition, I do believe that the Coming Out story where the protagonist comes out stronger™ for it is as cliche as they come. 

One of the most nonchalant mention of sexuality that I can remember is from one of my favorite webcomics ever– The Less Than Epic Adventures of TJ and Amal--when TJ gets asked if he’s gay and he replies, “I ping all I am ninja.” But it’s also a story about a POC who’s gay and trapped in an arranged marriage, but it doesn’t dwell on that and the story keeps moving. At the heart of that comic is just two guys finding themselves and falling in love while on a roadtrip. That’s as tropey as you get, and yet the character development is to die for.

There’s a lot of LGBT stories where the queerness aren’t used solely as a device to drive a larger story. There is A LOT.

Off the top of my head, Sarah Waters has historical novels like Fingersmith and Tipping the Velvet that are more plot-driven, doesn’t deal with the queer issues, but have women falling in love and being happy together. Fingersmith is also where the movie The Handmaiden is based from, which if you haven’t watched, should. Some of David Levithan’s stories deal with homophobia, but most are just guys falling in love and being happy and cute.  Hanya Yanagihara’s A Little Life–a read I don’t recommend to anyone dear to me– has its protagonist fall in love with his Hollywood celebrity best friend (though I think the takeaway from this novel is that love doesn’t cure trauma, though people suffering from it can be happy) and there is no fuss about their queerness at all, and the book is actually nominated for a Man Booker.

There are also works like Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (POC, LGBT), or Perry Moore’s Hero, or  Tillie Walden’s autobiographical graphic novel Spinning (LGBT, sports) that are about coming-of-age and aren’t afraid to tackle the warping effect of homophobia, the feelings of shame and fear that comes with being queer in a realistic world, and yet did not demure to end on a hopeful note.

I know the webcomic Tripping Over You is but a fluffy slice-of-life that’s just two guys who are in a relationship, talking it out and that’s it?? And it’s satisfying, and I can’t help but highlight how the coming out story of one of its characters, Liam, to his father was nothing but his decision to make, despite all the hiding he did was affecting his relationship with his partner as well. That coming out arc was a blip in the larger story arcs that are… their relationship and about being adults. 

And I mean you even have fanfics that include that feature its characters coming out, and I have read a disturbing amount of fics you guys, even hockey rpf featuring different pairings, that discuss the issues that CP seemed to present (but didn’t follow through on) in a better way. I remember this lowkey one about a beat reporter starting a relationship with a professional hockey player, and the difference in their status is addressed, financially and in other terms, and that both of them are fully cognizant about these things as they proceed with the relationship. And the hopeful coming out scenario is a product of playing out the consequences of it and the alternative. I also remember this moment in that fic where the main POV character deals with a panic attack with his partner present, and it’s so much powerful to me than anything CP has shown about mental health. 

In terms of mental health, I remember reading Tobias and Guy which is as light and fluffy as you get when a guy (literally named Guy) falls in love with a demon guy, and has this arc when Guy dealt with depression while in that relationship, and it was short and succinct but dared one of its characters to at least ask “but his family are loving and are supportive of him. how can he think like that?” for the sake of expounding the topic. I think it’s an okay portrayal of how partners in a relationship might deal in a situation where on suffers from mental health illness. I feel like the show You’re The Worst has also been exemplary in that regard. SKAM’s season 3  deals with internal homophobia and mental health illness while in a relationship and coming out (with none of the backlash of homophobia like CP) but doesn’t deal with cliches, and remains as a compelling and moving story.

In terms of insight into sports, a notable read for me is Nina Revoyr’s The Necessary Hunger (LGBT, POC, Sports), as it treated the sport the characters are in as integral part of who they are, which, I think is an effective use of the sports as a genre. As a manga-reader though, I’ve been spoiled by sports manga which are the best! sports! comics! (Slam Dunk! Hajime no Ippo! Hikaru no Go!) because they deal with their respective sport with so much insight, aplomb and passion, viewed in the eyes of the hero who’s in a journey to triumph. In manga, even baking bread can be a sport haha. To be honest these sports comics don’t need to have an athlete’s insider info on the world it’s set in. They just have to be believable. CP, I think, lacks both believability and insight, and more importantly, a deep tangible way the sports affects its protagonist. I find that so unsatisfying. I’m looking forward to how well C.S. Pacat’s Fence does.

My favorite college slice-of-life comic isn’t LGBT however, but it’s about a group of occasionally-starved college students in an art school. I read/saw the anime when I was in high school and has since stuck with me. I was equally invested in each of the characters’ storylines, not much like how I lost interest in CP after Rans and Holster and Shitty and Lardo were relegated to the fawning supportive straight friends stereotypes. The main romance doesn’t detract from the characters having their own stories and careers they want to fulfill. Even the POV character, who wasn’t my fave, had an endearing and compelling story.

As a bottomline: I don’t think there is a holy grail of lgbt works insomuch as they subjectively appeals to us. These are just some works that stand out to my memory and there are various takeaways from each for our purpose of comparison, but there are tons of material out there, LGBT and otherwise. SERIOUSLY. And I think there’s nothing wrong with trying it out one work at a time, see if it pings you. Trust your judgment friend!

[lizabethstucker]

The SFWA Grand Masters, Volume 2

Edited by Frederik Pohl

A selection of short stories and novellas from the second group of five authors named Grand Masters by the Science Fiction Writers of America:  Andre Norton, Arthur C. Clarke, Isaac Asimov, Alfred Bester, and Ray Bradbury.  The stories are science fiction and fantasy, some a mixture of both.  The styles may be different, but all of these authors captured the imaginations and loyalty of readers throughout their decades of writing.

 Pohl has selected a decent group of stories, five each except for Asimov who only has four.  Each author’s section has a short biography and an overview of their writing career.  Pohl also provides a list of suggested books.  Overall, this is a solid 4 out of 5.

 Mousetrap by Andre Norton

There are strange sand monsters on Mars, ones that are highly desired by museums back on Earth.  Unfortunately, they are too fragile to capture for transport, dead or alive.  Until prospector Sam Levatts is approached by hustler Len Collins.  Part tragedy with a hopeful ending.  This was a sad read and yet very satisfying in the denouement. Incredibly short, yet tightly written. Norton was a favorite of mine in middle school once I actually started reading science fiction.  I much preferred her science fiction stories to those with a more fantasy bent at that time.  Despite being marketed to children, her stories didn't pull any punches in regard to violence, depression, and even suicide.  Some of her works haven't aged well, but then you'll come across something like this and remember just why she was so very popular among all age groups.  4 out of 5.

 Were-Wrath by Andre Norton

Lady Thra of Laniat flees deep into the forest after the last of her liegemen is killed.  She stumbles across a hut, a cat who speaks telepathically, and an unfinished carving on an armoire.  Then the man-creature appears.  Soon Thra will be forced to face a greater evil than any of the were.  One of the things that Norton was best at was how she gave life to outsiders and how strong her female characters were.  Thra, once a lady, now a woman who has been stripped to a fierce survivor.  Farne, abandoned by his birth family, finds love with a mother-figure until she was taken from him.  There's magic and a hint of romance at the very end, an enthralling fantasy.  As I stated earlier, Norton's fantasy wasn't something I cared for when I first began reading her works.  That changed by the time I hit high school, thanks to Tolkien and Fritz Leiber, among others.  Makes me eager to dive back into the author's fantasy works.  4.5 out of 5

 All Cats Are Gray by Andre Norton

Steena was known by many free spacers, a quiet woman who gathered knowledge through listening and a photographic memory.  Her peculiar knowledge had helped many of the men around her, never accepting any reward.  Until she's given Bat, a cat, by a man whose life she saved.  Now she helps another free spacer hoping to get control of an abandoned pleasure spacecraft with a dangerous reputation.  Creepy, cool, and another story with an important cat character.  Steena could resonate with those young girls with a thirst for knowledge, that lived in our own type of gray world, filled with acquaintances and friends rather than lovers.  This is an unusual portrayal and use of an extreme type of colorblindness.  A good read.  3.5 out of 5.

 Serpent’s Tooth by Andre Norton

Seeker Modic chooses Rentarn to guide him and his group into the Questionable Lands.  Modic is determined to find the city of Lonscraft, long deserted, hoping for treasure despite the danger.  But as he says, the treasure isn't the kind Rentarn might think.  The legends and myths learned by all who live in the Between Villages may be Rentarn's only hope of survival.  That and his genetics.  More a novella than a short story, Norton has an interesting treasure hunting quest that mixes fantasy with a tinge of science fiction, leaning heavily toward horror with the mysterious events in Lonscraft.  Who the blue men in the heart of the palace might have been is never truly answered, the reader only receiving hints.  The intriguing possibilities are never confirmed.  A fascinating story.  4.5 out of 5

 Rescue Party by Arthur C. Clarke

When the crew of the exploration survey ship S9000 is notified of an inhabited planet's sun going super nova, they rush there to save as many of the inhabitants as they can.  As the increasing heat has already begun to decimate the surface of the planet, it is difficult and dangerously time-consuming to search for any possible survivors.  Defeat followed by surprise followed by a hint of more to come makes for a tightly written story.  And it is an interesting viewpoint, even if filled with old-fashioned science fiction tropes, from tentacles to collective minds.  This is the first story written by Clarke, done in 1946.  A decent enough start for a newbie.  3.5 out of 5

I found it amusing and telling that Clarke’s nickname in fandom was “Ego”.  I doubt if it was entirely friendly.  Despite his constant bragging that he solely invented satellite communications, that wasn’t entirely true.  Yes, he wrote about it in a trade paper, but he wasn’t the only one working on the concept, nor was he the only one who published.  I never cared for Clarke, mostly for his extreme arrogance and weirdness portrayed in interviews, both written and filmed.  I don’t know if this affected how I reacted to his work or not, but he was rarely on my reading list.  There were a couple of stories that I enjoyed, but mostly I veered away from him.  

 The Secret by Arthur C. Clarke

Henry Cooper, a science reporter, has been sent to the moon by the United Nations Space Administration in an effort to generate support for the Pluto City base.  He has been there before, so he is aware of how things operate.  But this time there is something off.  He contacts an old friend, currently the Plato City Police Department Inspector General, to ask what is going on.  The answer is nothing he could've expected.  *sigh* This is the type of crap that turned me off of Clarke's stories.  It's a great setup but had no real payoff in my opinion.  Yes, we're told the answer to the mystery, nothing past that.  This story was published in 1963, long before the moon landings.  Clarke's views were very pessimistic of that event.  Vastly disappointed, yet not really surprised.  Hopefully the next few stories are better.  The setup helped squeak this rating to 3 out of 5.

 Reunion by Arthur C. Clarke

Aliens are returning to the Earth that they claim to have colonized millions of years ago.  They became aware that the change in the planet's environment had led to mutations in some of the colonists.  Not a problem, they can help fix anything!  While the ending may be trite, almost expected for a story published in 1971, it doesn't make it any less fun to read.  A remarkably tight story for two pages.  4.5 out of 5.

 The Star by Arthur C. Clarke

A deep space survey vessel is exploring the Phoenix Nebula, a sun that went super nova centuries earlier.  On the planet farthest from the now dead sun was found a vault that contains the records of the people who died in the blast.  One crew member, a Jesuit who is their Chief Astrophysicist, finds his faith stuttering by what he discovers.  This is actually a good question; can religious faith survive deep space travel?  Yes, I knew instantly what the core idea would be, but in 1952 to deal so directly with faith and science in a science fiction story would've been very brave of the publishers to put out there.  It is also a subject much discussed by both non-believers as well as more scientific-minded believers.  In fact, it was a subject discussed at great length by my Episcopal Middle School Bible Study class with Father Alex Boyer, a man who would've been a Jesuit if he had been Roman Catholic.  This story could be a great discussion starter as well as a good read.  3.5 out of 5.

 A Meeting with Medusa by Arthur C. Clarke

Howard Falcon had been seriously injured while piloting a test flight of the Queen Elizabeth IV thanks to a news camera platform that crashed through the dirigible.  Doctors had put him back together, giving him some extras that will come in handy with his next adventure:  a trip to Jupiter, the first gaseous planet to be explored by man.  If this type of story was more Clarke's usual output, I might be able to understand why he was considered one of the Big Three in science fiction.  The sense of adventure is neatly woven into the story, particularly the suppositions made by Clarke about what might be found on and above Jupiter if we continue with ever closer flybys that can delve deeper into the atmosphere.  I will say that the extent of Falcon's "enhancements" took me a bit by surprise, making me wonder just what was left of his physical self.  Best guess would be his brain and nothing else.  Fascinating and disturbing in equal measures.  4.5 out of 5.

 The Last Question by Isaac Asimov

As mankind's computers expand in knowledge and abilities, there is one question that is asked over the ages that doesn't receive an answer other than "insufficient data".  But as the millenniums pass and the Galaxy fills with life, immortal life, the question becomes ever more urgent.  How can you reverse or stop entropy?  The ending!!  I should've seen it coming, but surprisingly I didn't.  I really enjoyed the glimpses into how man and computers evolved over the trillions of years, yet both still struggled with the basic question of survival of that which provided power and life no matter how both learned and adapted.  Asimov, in this publication date of 1956, postulates solar power and mankind's increasing reliance on super computers, not to mention increasing overpopulation driving exploration even more than curiosity.  4.5 out of 5.

 Ah, Asimov.  So much incredible talent and so much wide-ranging interests he had. Surprisingly I’ve only read a few of his works, particularly the Foundation series and his I, Robot series, as well as some of his short stories.  I was more likely to read his non-fiction works, from science to the bible, or the short story collections he edited.  I would devour his introductions even more than the stories themselves. I’ve found the introductory biography on this author to be more enjoyable as Pohl had a lifetime friendship with Asimov, giving it that personal touch.

 It’s Such a Beautiful Day by Isaac Asimov

The day that the Hanshaw Door failed to operate was the day that 12-year-old Richard Hanshaw Jr. began to avoid using it to go to school and back home again.  Nothing his mother tried could deter him other than on rare unexplained occasions. Yet Dick didn't seem to mind using the Door to visit New York or Canton, China.  His mother reluctantly agrees with his teacher to take him to a psychiatrist for probing.  Asimov has provided a most prophetic story about how technology can cause people to withdraw from experiencing the outdoors.  The reasons and type of technology might be different, but the results wind up the same.  Video games, the internet, television, and other media all do the same. Thought-provoking.  4.5 out of 5.

 Strikebreaker by Isaac Asimov

Sociologist Steven Lamorak visits the first asteroid world in order to gather facts about Elseverse's society.  While there he learns it exists under a strict caste system. Igor Ragusnik's family has overseen waste reclamation for generations.  Unfortunately, this makes the family outcasts, unable to meet with nor interact with the rest of the community.  Igor has decided to go on strike until his family is accepted, although the leaders of Elseverse are determined to not give in.  The consequences for the community are dire if something isn't done.  Intriguing as well as an echo of other Earth-based castes such as the Untouchables in India.  A very disappointing solution by Lamorak.  And, frankly, I think his estimate as to how long changes would occur was out of line.  And, as a sociologist, Lamorak should know better.  3.5 out of 5.

 The Martian Way by Isaac Asimov

Earth is getting testy about the amount of water used by the Martian colony, especially that used for propulsion by the scavengers who catch shells discarded by rockets launched from Earth for their metal content.  After a year of politicians pontificating, a ration is set up, one that will essentially stop all scavenging.  Certain of the scavengers understand that this could be just the beginning of Earth’s hold on the colonies tightening.  The newest of the scavengers, Ted Long, encourages them to look elsewhere for their water, cut ties with Earth.  Long’s idea?  A newer source of water, the rings of Saturn.  The idea of using water for propulsion purposes in low or no gravity situations really isn’t that far-fetched, but as shown here it would require having a virtually endless supply available.  Asimov has another valid point.  For any colony to be truly valid, they must be self-sustaining.  3.5 out of 5.

 Disappearing Act by Alfred Bester

General Carpenter is leading the War for the American Dream, directing good citizens to become sharply honed tools.  His motto is “a job for everyone and everyone on the job”. After all, how else can they defend the American Dream of Beauty and Poetry and the Better Things in Life? Then a perplexing mystery appears in Ward T of the U.S. Army Hospital that requires an expertise not readily available in Carpenter’s America.  This was beyond a hoot!  And all too possible, at least in regard to a country so involved in a long-term war that they focus their attention on specific talents needed, not the softer interests.  I have little actual knowledge of Bester’s works.  I’ve always known the name, but somehow missed reading anything from him. This story tells me just what I’ve been missing, so I’m looking forward to the remainder of his section in this collection.  5 out of 5.

 Fondly Fahrenheit by Alfred Bester

James Vandaleur and his android are on the run after the android kidnaps and kills a child, something previously thought impossible. I don't know how to describe this. It is a confusing narrative with multiple fluid viewpoints.  Fluid as in it can be hard to understand who is narrating, whether there is two or three present during certain scenes.  Once farther into the story it gets easier to understand what Bester is up to.  But despite the initial confusion, this was an intriguing psychological story.  As Mr. Spock would say, fascinating.  4 out of 5. There's a short commentary following the story itself in which Bester discusses his writing process in general and regarding this particular story.  A nice glimpse into how the sausage is made.

  The Four-Hour Fugue by Alfred Bester

Pollution and a lack of great quantities of fresh water for bathing and cleaning has led to an increased use of perfume in the urban jungle slum of the Corridor.  When Dr. Blaise Skiaki's latest product development slows almost to a stop, the company he works for begins an investigation as to the reasons behind it. Mystery and romance over-layered with almost supernatural aspects.  More fantasy than science fiction in my opinion.  I also found the ending a bit rushed, but still adequate.  What I didn't like much and almost turned me off were the racist overtones, especially for a story published in 1974.  For example, the use of the term "gook" and the statement "slitty eyes that would need careful watching". Perhaps Bester was merely implying that the two characters involved with racist, but it was still bothersome to me. 3.5 out of 5.

  Hobson’s Choice by Alfred Bester

Addyer is a statistician by day, dreaming fantasist by night, wanting to live in another time period.  When he finds that, despite the ongoing war and the effects of the atom bombs, the population appears to be increasing, he pinpoints the epicenter to be in Finney County, Kansas.  Directed to go there, what Addyer finds is not even close to what he expected.  An interesting look at those who long to live in another time, with some reality checks regarding the differences that might be encountered.  As the immigration man says, every time is the Golden Age to someone other than the one that they live in.  3.5 out of 5.

  The City by Ray Bradbury

The City has waited for twenty thousand years for this moment.  A rocket filled with explorers from Earth has arrived.  The City awakens, at long last able to fulfill its programming. Creepy.  Very creepy tale of long forgotten actions that resonate with the hapless Earth men.  Short and sharp story.  3.5 out of 5.

  The Million-Year Picnic by Ray Bradbury

Timothy was no fool, even as young as he was.  He knew this sudden vacation was more than a fishing trip.  His mom and dad seem nervous.  To keep his younger brothers calm, Timothy plays along, waiting for his dad to explain. This short story turned out to be the first installment into what became THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES.  What this story did was setup the reason why the Mars community ever started, why the original colonists fled Earth.  THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES is one of my favorites and the first Bradbury book that I ever read.  This has me itching to read it again.  Sounds like a trip to the library is in my immediate future.  4 out of 5.  

  All Summer in a Day by Ray Bradbury

Venus only stops raining for two hours every seven years. The children don't remember it from the last time the sun came out as they were too young. Margot is the exception. A frail young girl whose appearance appears to be washed out with the constant rain, she desperately wants, needs to see the sun again. Children are brutally cruel, something Bradbury has shown in horrible prose. The ending was so horrible, yet so simple. Quite possibly one of the saddest stories I've read in quite a while, even if realistic. It made it hard to rate. 3.5 out of 5.

  There Will Come Soft Rains by Ray Bradbury

A smart home continues its daily routine, from cleaning to cooking to announcing important dates, for days and days.  Doing its programmed tasks to empty rooms.  Talk about gut-wrenchingly sad.  That view outside the house can rip your heart out. And the dog.  4 out of 5.

  The Affluence of Despair by Ray Bradbury

The lure, the addiction of publicity, of seeing ourselves on television.  Not for our accomplishments and successes, only for the bad and the tragic.  A little over two pages and published in 1998, this is anything but fiction.  Take a good look at yourself, world.  4 out of 5.

[bylerchoseme]

Read at your own risk.

I can’t believe there is always BS that pops up in the Scorbus tag from people that just don’t get it. It boggles my mind how low people can sink especially now when someone said only straight people refer to Scorbus as queerbaiting. Are you fucking kidding me? I feel like I am watching comedy become less funny. By the logic only straight people believe Cursed Child is queerbaiting,that’s basically stating JKR could have ended the book with Albus and Scorpius together and straight people wouldn’t mind. It’s nice to know queerbaiting thinkers are limited to straight people. You can have your own opinions about the play but when it comes down to stereotyping people, that’s not okay and never will be in any way, shape or form. 

Why are the hater’s so adamant on saying male friendships can be as deep as Albus and Scorpius? I like to ask you this, why does every male dynamic in Harry Potter have to be friendly? Why isn’t that question being raised? Why can’t we have one male relationship be gay where the two boys (Albus and Scorpius) love each other wholeheartedly and literally can’t live without each other? Why is same gender relationships always a problem? Why not pose the same questions for opposite genders? It seems to me like if people support two people of opposite genders as a couple, no one complains but the moment a gay pair is shipped, there is a sudden outburst. 

Whether you choose to believe it or not, no matter what the sexuality you are, Cursed Child is QUEERBAITING. Pretending it never happened or being completely blindsided to the reality of the problem doesn’t mean it’s not there. I would really appreciate if those who want other’s to think there wasn’t queerbaiting to stop forcing their views on others. That’s not going to happen. Each person is entitled to their own freedom of speech. Everyone has a different perspective.

You are trying to tell me, Albus and Scorpius separating and having an entire staircase sequence dedicated to them is a friendly moment, where they are broken beyond repair. They mean the world to each other and neither is stable without the other to a point Scorpius is depressed and Albus telling Delphi he is destroyed by Scorpius;s absence . Let’s not forget the line, ‘Both full of unhappiness.’ The separation was meant to make these two realize there is no life for them unless they are together.

What about the moment when Scorpius saw Albus talking to Delphi and a part of him not liking it? That’s also friendly? Right? If it was truly about the fact he doesn’t want to be replaced as a best friend, he wouldn’t have shut her down into coming with them. He doesn’t want her around. He feels something for Albus otherwise the part of him not liking it would have not been scripted. Each line is for a reason. 

Not only was Scorbus beautifully built as a gay love romance, they were set up from the very beginning with smiles toward one another before Albus even approached him. After finally meeting, thing’s would be the same anymore for either one. Explain to me why Scorpius wanted to go on adventures with him while knowing the decision’s weren’t positive but regardless, following him everywhere anyway. 

Moving on to the hug on the train. Albus initiated this particular hug and considering it’s their first hug, Albus hugged him with fierceness and it was held for a beat. Also keep in mind, they awkwardly dislocated. If the hug was so friendly, why would they awkwardly end it unless it had another meaning? Friends do hug each other. It’s normal. Apparently, not for Albus and Scorpius because it wasn’t an ordinary hug. 

Albus threatens his dad about what would happen if he doesn’t stay away from Scorpius followed by tears at the thought of not having Scorpius by his side. That’s intense for a father/son relationship. Albus can’t stand not having Scorpius in his life which is why telling him they have to separate ways was the most painful thing. Even Scorpius didn’t take the news very well. He was crying his heart out because of the forced distance between him and Albus.

At the library, Albus gave Scorpius a speech about he makes him stronger and toward the end he says, “when my dad forced us apart-without you- he clearly had more to say here. However, he cut the sentence short. That’s when Albus realized he has a special place for Scorpius in his heart. Scorpius responds with, “I didn’t much like my life without you in it either.” They are complete when together and incomplete when they are not. It’s in canon.

Delphi told Scorpius, him and Albus belong together and that’s the honest thing anyone has ever said in the entire play because it’s the truth. Albus and Scorpius do belong together and both know it. Albus realized it at the library, a little sooner then Scorpius. They hugged and Scorpius remembered it was the second hug Albus gave him. He keep’s tracks of his supposed friend’s hugs. So friendly, not……..

Scorpius was heartbroken when Albus left him. Why would the script say heartbroken? Surely, other words could have been the choices like devastated, sad, broken, etc…..heartbroken is typically used for couples once a relationship has ran it’s course. Interesting enough, the word was given to Scorpius in a scene where Albus had to let him go. In no way is that coincidental. Again, there is a purpose.

Who can forget the scene with Scorpius and Snape? Snape tells him, “You’re giving up your kingdom for Albus, right?” He even tells him to think about Albus because all it takes is one person and then Lily was brought up into the equation to describe the concept of Scorbus and we know Snape loved her and Lily loved him at one point. That was done on purpose. 

Albus told his dad, Scorpius is all he needs and when Harry attempts to encourage him to talk to other people, all Albus needs is Scorpius. That’s another thing. Neither Albus or Scorpius want to interact with others expect each other. If you’ve paid close attention, they are inseparable and are constantly together. They are joined by the hips.

Scorpius was the one that went to the library to see Albus and in doing so made Albus say, “If she finds us, we will be forced apart forever.” He begged Scorpius to hide inside the invisibility cloak with him to not be caught. I can’t imagine what would have happened if Scorpius didn’t oblige. Professor McGonagall saw them on the map and instead of busting them, she smiled to herself and said, “Well if you are not here, you are not here.” She walked off leaving them there. 

The third hug was in the water, a difficult task and Scorpius still managed to hug Albus. He delivers this line, “You have no idea how glad I am to see you.” He is way too happy to see Albus and was happy. He just went for the hug because he needed it and after such a long time, this is the first time Scorpius initiated a hug which shows they have come a long way. 

Delphi pointed the wand at Albus and he didn’t care whether he lived or died. He told her to do her worse and she pointed the wand at Scorpius to kill him and that’s what frightened Albus the most. She went crucio on Scorpius and Albus begged her to stop and that he will commit to whatever it is she needs him to do because seeing Scorpius at the verge of death and in pain bothered him. It also makes you think. Of all people and everything in his life, Scorpius dying is the worst thing that can happen to Albus.

Finally, we get a fourth hug (second hug initiate by Scorpius) and when Albus said, “What’s this? I thought you said we don’t hug.” And while hugging him, Scorpius says, “I wasn’t sure. Whether we should. In this new version of us I had inside my head.” Well, they are best friends now. So what new version can he possibly mean other then the inevitable boyfriends version? They can only go beyond friendship and not as anything less then a friendship. There you have it. He see’s Albus as boyfriend material.

The play was queerbaiting to the max because after all was said and done, Rose popped in Scorpius’s mind out of nowhere and he formed a fantasy of her even though they only spoke once, had no build up, and were basically dead. She even rejected him and yet we are supposed to believe they are the love story. It was unnecessary. The worst part is, she was only around to force heteronormativity which was beyond abnormal. Albus and Scorpius are the victims. Plain and simple.

There are enough male friendships in Harry Potter and the one and only time two males were undeniably gay based on the evidence in text (far from a friendship) they had to be stripped away from their will to be boyfriends. It was forced upon them. Albus and Scorpius didn’t ask hetero BS to come in between their non friendly love. 

The play should be called: The cursed child, the victims of heteronormativity. I haven’t seen worse queerbaiting in my life. Not making Scorbus canon is despicable, disturbing, disrespectful, homophobic, and horrifying behavior from the writer’s part. 

If the writer’s didn’t want a gay couple and were afraid if they took the risk, no one would watch the live show let alone buy the book, Albus and Scorpius shouldn’t have been written so gay and approved by JKR as such only to be played in the end for no reason at all. The queerbaiting was intentional.

Cursed Child writers reeled the Scorbus fanbase along for the ride in false hope they would become more then a friendship because everything was leading up to that climax and pretend Albus and Scorpius weren’t in love with each other. You can’t erase their history just because your (everyone involved with cursed child) biased writing’s attempt to brainwash us into falling for Albus and Scorpius being straight failed. None of you could have done a worse job. 

In conclusion, the play received backlash because of the writer’s poor decisions, as it should because the stunt that was pulled against Scorbus getting their right ending was cruel and deceitful. Next time if you don’t want gay characters, don’t sink so low to lead the reader’s on and instead, try writing the friendship properly without gay undertones if that was your intention.

ALBUS AND SCORPIUS ARE GAY. YOU MADE TWO GAY CHARACTERS. ACT ON IT. THEY ARE IN LOVE. 

[authorstalker]

My April & May Reads

Mischling, Affinity Konar - Is that not one of the coolest ever author names? Affinity Konar! This was a book club pick, and one of the best things about book club is being forced to read something I’d otherwise avoid. For example: I wouldn’t have chosen to read a novel about twins being experimented on in the Holocaust, but I’m glad I did. I learned a lot, I was deeply disturbed, and the writing is really, really lovely. Plot-wise, it somewhat lost my interest by the end, but everyone in book club thought it was great.

Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding - An embarrassing admission: this was my first time reading Bridget Jones! I loved it and I laughed a lot. The weight stuff is insane but this was written in the ‘90s, ya know? Ignore that nonsense and you have a practically perfect romantic comedy.

The Debut, Anita Brookner - The first line of this A+ little book: “Dr. Weiss, at forty, knew that her life had been ruined by literature.” Need I say more? It is ridiculous that I hadn’t heard of Anita Brookner until now (thanks, Kate) because her subject matter is everything I love: sad girls/women, bookish girls/women, sad/bookish girls/women strolling solo along city streets, observing strangers’ happiness. Ugh, I’m obsessed with her. Start with The Debut; it’s depressing and hilarious all at once.

Americanah, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - I thought this was going to be Serious and Important, but it’s actually a page-turner romance story with a lot of commentary on racism in America. A++++ (except for the last page, which I hated! But the rest of it is completely wonderful.)

Golden Prey, John Sandford - Y’all know I love me some John Sandford, particularly his Prey series. This is the 27th Prey book and I think it’s one of the best. How does he do it?! This time around, the focus is on cyber security and how everything can be or is already being tracked. Technology is cool, technology is terrifying, etc. 

[linandara]

My Last Jedi review

I like how this has been a bit of a "coming out" season: Serious, edicated, professional people suddenly post Star Wars reviews, sometime very critical, and I realise they really care, and are crazy life long fans just as I am.

Here is my contribution. I watched The Last Jedi (TLJ) twice. Discussed it with the family, then read other reviews. I did enjoyed quite a lot of it and may watch it again but my overall opinion is, sadly, negative. Spoilers are coming.

The biggest, greatest mistake is the lack of good strong relationships. Space is cold, but ALL previous Star Wars movies always had plenty of warmth from the the various forms of love and affection: between children and parents (Luke's towards his father, Anakin and his mum, Jyn Erso and her dad), best friends (Han, Luke, Chewie, Lando), siblings (Luke and Leia), teachers and students (Obi-Van and Qui-Gon, Obi-Van and Anakin, Luke and Obi-Van, Luke and Yoda), lovers (Leia and Han, Padme and Anakin). Where are any of these in the new movie?

Whatever was developing between Rey and Finn, Finn and Poe in The Force Awakens (TFA) is mostly forgotten. Rey and Luke are not getting along, which is particularly disappointing. Finding a lost close relative (father, sister) always was a Star Wars shortcut to developing a relationship and strong feelings. Alternatively, people spend years "in the same boat" and have got to the same point, when they knew and cared for each other. Rian Johnson did none of those. It seemed for a while that there was a spark between Rey and Ben Solo but it went nowhere when they parted. A glimpse of something between Finn and Rose was at the very end. A very short heart warming scene with Luke and Leia and that's it. I really liked the moment when Yoda said he missed Luke in his nicely mocking way. But all was just some rare raindrops in a wast emotional desert. Even through Luke had known Obi-Van for a day or so, he was so upset when the old man died. Yet Rey and his own sister didn't spared a tear for him. Like saying "this was for the best".

I really liked TFA and "Rogue One". I was looking forward to seeing TLJ a great deal. Now I like TFA less as its promises went unfulfilled.

Plot holes and apparent disregard for the laws of nature was another blow. Did rebels abolished autopilots? Why did they need to sacrifice pilots with their ships? How they better than the First Order then? Why can the admiral trust her soldiers and explain the situation avoiding a mutiny?

Creating a consistant fantasy reality or suspension of disbelief is essential to fictional stories. Only once before this was broken for me in Star Wars: in the Revenge of the Sith when Anakin turns to the dark side. His downward ark was badly written which was a pity because the first half of that movie was really good and strong. In TLJ this was happening several times! Leia floating in space didn't work. Lots of aliens were badly made (including Yoda himself). I thought we are past this with the modern technology! The "Luke milking an alien" scene was disturbing because in Star Wars it is often difficult to distinguish between intelligent and non-intelligent species. One of the frases Rey said to Luke sounded definitely awful. Why wasn't it retaken? The Luke's face when he was thinking of slaying teenage Ben in his sleep was so wrong, probably because Mark just couldn't believe his character, who saved Darth Vader despite all odds, would do that.

I think, the Luke's last stand and dying scenes were good. Well made, dramatic and original. I think, him projecting through the space rather than being here in person was necessary because he was already too weak to face Kylo Ren. That's the reason he never got back. He appeared to his former student and Leia younger, as he would look like before his exile, because he wanted to be remembered strong, proper Jedi, not a broken old man already dying far away, alone.

I wish it all happened in the next movie because I just have nothing to look forward any more. Unless JJ will have a lot of Luke's ghost appearances - which would be something new for the series. Luke was the most unique and alive character in TLJ. Grumpy, weird, but thinking and feeling. None of the young characters are good enough for me to care. Especially when Rey is now really nobody from nowhere, which is boring (unless Ben lies about her parents). And she is a "Mary Sue", which is boring again. Pity, because she had a good potential to be a great character after TFA. Ben has tantrums, which is funny but I can't take him seriously. Finn, Rose and Poe are just you average token generic good rebels, nothing much to say. They are nice and are played by good actors, but it's not enough. We need true heroes for these movies to work. Luke was a simple rebel character in the New Hope which never was my favourite Star Wars movie. But he grew steeply into a proper wise knight, which was the main point of the original series to me. Rian Johnson made him broken by guilt and fear, destroying everything he had achieved. That I could potentially forgive because he finally redeems Luke and brings my favourite ever fictional character back, when he returns to Leia and confronts Ben Solo. I wanted more so much - but instead he dies.

I really hoped Luke will leave his exile and go on a quest (several quests - even better) together with Rey, his new apprentice for years to come, building a strong relationship, whether they related by blood or not. When I've seen the casino pictures I thought by some reason that this will be one of their destinations, like great scenes with Obi-Van and Anakin, Obi-Van, Han and Luke, Rey and Finn in alien bars. Nope.

As Han dies quite suddenly and frankly pointlessly in TFA, a connection between the generations seems to be unfortunately lost. I think Han should have been very seriously injured but survived his meeting with his son for a better plot.

Lots of plot lines in TLJ lead nowhere. One can say this is what real life is but if the movies will be "nothing in particular happened on that day" what would be the point of watching them? Art is in selecting and prioritising what's matters, in making good stories, not simply copying the mundane.

There was so much of an introduction from Maz for the master code breaker - and then another one chosen. And then it all was unnecessary after all. A silly Rose monologue about evils of arms dealing and revenge on the rich, just to erase all that by showing that the rebels shop for their x-wing fighters at the same casino planet… Incidentally, were rebel generals so overdressed because they were planning to go arms shopping here after the battle? I loved the costumes and the jewellery (even hope to buy some replicas) but it was too much for the rebel situation. The casino planet, as Finn noticed, was beautiful - apart from some badly made aliens. And captive animals suddenly released in the wild are not likely to survive, Rose and Finn! Whole "rebels loose all the time" situation reminded me of Blake's Seven, which I find very depressing.

Were Knights of Ren got to? Phasma was easily killed without any chance to do or to say anything important. Characters which don't enrich the story are not necessary. It's not a tv series, time on the screen is pressious.

The sword battle in the Red room was very good and the way Ben killed overconfident Snoke was, I thought, excellent. Although unfortunately we didn't learn a thing about Snoke.

Unlike many critics I liked the humour in TLJ. Luke winking to C3PO, brushing dust of his cloak and saying to Ben something like "see you around" just before he died was good. The red sand planet was hauntingly beautiful. Riding the huge alien beasts was fun to watch althrough that whole part of the story was pointless. I liked Rey in the "dark side" cave but the scene didn't gave as anything apart from feeling weird. What is the dark side about? What is the attraction?

The movie is criticised for paving the way for merchandise to be sold. Rubbish. I wish me and my friends, teenagers in the Soviet Union, had any merchandise to cherish when we watched the Original Trilogy. Instead we had to stop the videotape and take black and white photos to have at least something.

The music score in TLJ was the worst of Star Wars. Especially painful because TFA and Rogue One scores were so good. Almost no unique tracks to listen, just a mishmash of old tunes plus something reminding totally childish Harry Potter music.

Another big problem is the meaning of good and evil. How Snoke got to Ben? Why did Ben chose the dark side? Why Rey didn't? It is good that Luke admits the Jedi Order's flaws to Rey but why didn't he went to the dark side knowing all that? This is a big problem for the whole Star Wars saga. In real life people do horrible things thinking they are doing good. Nobody "chooses evil side". So Snoke, a vilian for the sake of being a vilian, already was a mistake in TFA. I think it was Aristotel who said that confrontation in a story should be between relatives or former friends to keep us engaged. This is why Luke, Leia or Han are needed to oppose Ben. Unless Rey is Ben's cousin after all. An opportunity for a romance (which would bring some necessary viewer engagement) for those two young people, I think, is already lost as nothing even started so far, after two movies.

TLJ is very entertaining to watch but that's not good enough for Star Wars. For Jurassic Park or James Bond, yes. A Star Wars story needs a strong emotional connection with the viewer and the latest doing lots of thinking about "What is Good?" because of what he sees.

All the flaws were very surprising considering that movies are done by groups of people. Could somebody brave point the mistakes and the weak moments to the director? How so many "professional" reviews ignored them and why?

I hope JJ will rescue the ending of this three parter but not in a way in which the ending of Lost was done, ruining the series! And maybe in a few years time somebody will make good quality CGI movies or an Dragon Age Inquisition/Witcher-like choice game, either set in alternative reality or in between The Return of Jedi and TFA. To give Luke, Han and Leia a bit more screen time they deserve and to reestablish the good proper heroes they originally were.

Saying that, I think all movies, games and books should come with a waring "To avoid disappointment, write your own stories" ;)

So here's the list of Star Wars movies in the order I rate them, from the favourite and much loved ones to the less loved.

The Return of Jedi

Empire Strickes Back

Rogue One

Attack of the Clones

The Force Awakens

A New Hope

Revenge of the Sith

The Phantom Menace

The Last Jedi

Still, I think it's the best film series made so far on this planet and any one is far ahead (in my rating) of other sci-fi, adventure and fantasy movies I ever enjoyed watching. Honestly I tried to find other good stoies and other good heroes many times since I was 15. Maybe I will one day.

[abitoflit]

A-Z List of Books to Avoid

Listed below are a collection of my least favorite novels meant to be a humorous collection of books to stay away from. Enjoy!

A- All Over Creation. In addition to a host of bland characters, this novel introduced problem after problem, conflict after conflict, only to have them all solved and wrapped up with a neat little bow at the end. It was as though someone waved a magic wand and whisked everyone's troubles away, making it rather unrealistic.

B- Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer. More paranormal romance, more vegetarian vampires, more stupidity... no thanks.

C- Chosen by P.C. and Kristin Cast. To be honest, I didn't mind the beginning of the series; but, then it began to repeat itself and become a clusterfuck of tangled lovers with stupid personalities and traits. Honestly, if I hear Stevie Rae described as the country bumpkin with the "Oakie-Twang" one more time I may be forced to bite someone.

D- Dewey: The Small-Town Library Cat Who Touched the World by Vicki Myron. I want to start this review off by saying that I am a cat person and one day, if I get lonely enough, I may wind up being the crazy cat lady of my block. But, I really don't know how I got through this book. It was all about a cat and the pictures were cute but it was so dry and boring I wanted to die. And in a way, I felt as though I was reacting to the book as would a cat. The pictures made me want to pay attention to it, because who doesn't love pictures? And then the words made me feel as though I'd had enough, at which point I'd put the book down and walk away.

E- Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer. Yes, these books are so bad they warrant being on my list three times. (You will notice them again under the letter T). Like seriously woman, I question what goes on in your head.

F- Fifty Shades of Grey (and subsequent nonsense). These novels are simply trash; I don't know what else to say. The prose is weak, the subject is weird and the relationship between the two main characters is disturbing.

G- Go Ask Alice, written anonymously. This book is just plain depressing for starters. As far as its prose is concerned, it's not the strongest either. I know it's supposed to be the diary of a teenager and what not, but I felt as though it left a lot to be desired.

H- Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad. I discussed this novel with a friend of mine a few months ago. We were both pretty confused by it. We're certain that one of the characters died and then came back to life. We're certain he's secretly a zombie or something, but this novel isn't a zombie novel. (Did they even have zombies back when it was written)? I don't know, but either way, we were both just as confused as you are.

I- The Iliad by Homer. I'm not a big fan of books, which are set up in the "traditional epic fashion," so that certainly didn't help this number. I also really didn't like the storyline--it's all about getting home; but, going all over the damn place before getting there. I mean really, doesn't anyone have a map? The chapters involving Penelope were also rather slow and predictable, which was no fun. Also, how dumb are these suitors? Can't they tell that she's taking her work apart? I mean really.

J- Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George. I vaguely remember reading this book in elementary school and wondering what the point was. I felt like nothing happened and didn't like the prose.

K- Instead of stating a title, can I just comment on how many books have a title that begins with "kiss" and how ridiculous it is? Because it's fucking ridiculous and confusing.

L- Lord of the Flies by William Golding. NOT MY PIGGY YOU BITCH!

M- Moby Dick by Herman Melville. I know it's supposed to be a classic and everything, but I really didn't feel as though I needed to read a treatise on whaling smattered with some of Captain Ahab's crazy.

N- Number the Stars by Lois Lowry. I read this book in elementary school and remember disliking it. Part of that dislike stemmed from the depressing subject matter and the rest from the fact that there seemed to be a certain disconnect between the author and the subject matter being discussed in the novel.

O-  Othello by William Shakespeare. A few words: dost I care?

P- Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Three words: dry as fuck.

Q- Questioning; always questioning why these books were ever written.

R- Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier. I read this book in high school as part of a fairy tale literature class and could not have been more appalled. This novel is based loosely upon the "Bluebeard" tales, which describes a man who marries several different women only to kill them. Disney certainly didn't prepare me for this!

S- The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I have a secret! This book sucks. It's just a repetitive bunch of crap about the "law of attraction," filled with pointless stories and wannabe science. I would definitely give this one a miss.

T- Twilight (and series) by Stephanie Meyer. Two things. First, the relationship between Edward and Bella is unhealthy and setting a bad example for young readers. First, Bella's dependence on Edward and need for his presence is frightening. It makes it seem as though women need men in order to function and quite frankly, they don't. Second, and this is not something I usually have much of an issue with, the age difference is staggering. It's like my great great grandfather, (if he were still living), trying to date my best friend. What the heck? And just for the record, I firmly believe vampires are supposed to burst into flame and turn to a big pile of smelly ashes in the sunlight, none of this sparkling shit! Finally, vegetarians? VEGETARIANS? You suck animal blood people, you're not vegetarians thank you very much.

U- The Ugly Duckling. So, the duck didn't notice it had an extra baby? As in, it forgot how many eggs it laid and that duck babies don't look like swan babies? Doesn't it live with other birds around the pond or is everyone relegated to their own section of the land too?

V- Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead. Haven't we had enough of bloodsucking assholes already?

W- Why? Oh why did I ever bother sitting through the vast majority of these?

X- marks the spot? I can't say that I can think of anything for this letter.

Y- Yes Please by Amy Poehler. I was really excited to read this novel and then completely disappointed by it. I always found Poehler funny, especially when she teamed up with Tina Fey; but, this memoir was simply a dry collection of memories, recounted like a laundry list. Her tone also betrays a hint of arrogance, which I found rather unappealing. Overall, not my cup of tea. 

Z- zzzzzzzz. Wha-What? These books put me to sleep. *wipes drool from the side of my lip and waves hand* you saw nothing and these are definitely not the books you're looking for!