#he's reading really disturbing and depressing things ever written as romance

[winns-stuff]

I have a hot take people might hate. I dont inherently dislike seeing Apollo's "side of the story," but it needs to be in a better written story and/or just not this one. This could be a time to disect the privlage and dilution he has built for himself by showing fundamental flaws in his thinking like maybe Apollo using Zeus bad leadership as an excuse for his actions but taking this thought to an unnatural degree. Not for us to sympathize but see how he is twisted and what causes him to be this way like cracking open a curious egg. It can still be a bad egg, but I want to know how it's bad. But, I do agree it fell closer to sympathizing vs. Exploring. Personally the first time I read it I expected it to be a dive into twisted logic and that's how I read it. However, I 100% see what people mean about it falling too far into dismissive and sympathising. I think that kind of in depth storytelling is better for a different story that is not Lore Olympus targeted at children who might not read it as an analysis of evil. Maybe less "his side of the story 🤔" and more "a look into the thoughts of a delutional monster."

Yeah I agree, I don’t think a lot of tweens just looking for a cute romance story to latch onto would really think too much about the complexities of a rapist. It’s weird honestly, I can see what she’s trying to do but the SA is already pretty much crumbled in this story and I’d rather her just forget about it completely. Rachel bringing this up now has made it clear that the sexual assault was only ever used for drama, it’s clear that she ran out of good plot points (that actually made sense in the story) and she realized that fans still wanted Apollo to be dealt with since it was literally framed in a way that he was going to presumably face some consequence. So she had no choice but to put this flimsy and rushed sequence together, it’s quite sad honestly.

I only say this since she’s written Persephone out to be the perfect victim of her own SA. Everyone believed her right off the bat despite Apollo’s crystal clear image, her trauma doesn’t have any disturbing or even depressing sides to it that we know of (we only get small peeks into it), what happened to her doesn’t affect ANY of her male relationships and she’s framed as being more content and safe with them rather than any female character she’s ever interacted with, she’s still so incredibly sexually active and most of all ready for any sort of intimacy with her partner no matter what. The comic has literally been showing us that Persephone rarely cares about her trauma since she treats it like such an after thought and whenever she does remember it it’s played off as some kind of inside joke more than actual trauma.

The whole SA is disgusting and Rachel should’ve never put it in her damn story if she didn’t know how to actually handle it not only correctly but with any sort of respect at all. It’s deplorable how she’s still dragging it on just for shock value and whenever she’s run out of things to put in her story. SA or any sort of terrible crimes against another person is not to be used as drama or some kind of “spicy” romantic development in your story, it’s so incredibly disrespectful to real victims and yet Rachel continues to do it which is why I have no respect for her. There’s just some things you don’t do for money or engagement and this is one of the things.

[captain039]

Drink your full

Dracula x reader

From:Dracula BBC version

Warnings: Gore, vampire things, mentions of religious things, sexual, intimacy, anxiety, depression, fluffy things used to calm anxiety. age gap

This will be after he finds out he’s not scared to sunlight blah blah, he just doesn’t die.

Artistic reader

This may be triggering just for the anxiety and depression, this is what I go through I just find writing about it helps my mind ease.

The night was cold, wind blowing through your window. You hadn’t closed it that night, passed out from exhaustion of crying. You woke shaking, groaning softly as you willed your body up to close the window. You shut it, body drained and tired. You glanced to the clock, 4 in the morning. You fell back into your bed, grabbed your phone and laid on your back. You read for a while, some free romance novel in the store. It was badly written but you had nothing else, you didn’t want your thoughts to cloud your head again. You read till morning, got dressed and left without waking your parents. You left a note on the fridge saying goodbye for the day and you’ll be back when classes ended. You listened to music on your way there, ignored the loud beeps and cars around you before you found yourself in front of your classroom door.

“Ah Y/n!” Your teacher greeted as you came inside while you took your earphones out.

“Morning Mrs Jones” you said voice a little groggy.

“Not sleeping well again my dear?” She asked and you nodded. Nobody was in the room just you and your teacher Mrs Jones. A sweet old lady who had taken a shine to your and your works.

“Well come sit, paint or draw your mind away, I shan’t disturb you dear” she smiled sitting down and sipping her tea.

“Oh I must warn you though, we have a visitor coming in a Mr Dracula? I think he said, odd name really” she said and you raised an eyebrow.

“Is he a vampire?” You joked tiredly and she scoffed chuckling.

“If a vampire enters here I will surely know everything before I die” she said and you shook your head smiling. You put your earphones in again and sat down. You grabbed your art book and pencils and laid them out before you continued your piece. A fantasy creature, fantasy was one of your main likings. It was large, owl like face and large leathery wings with a leathery body. Strange combination almost like a bat owl if that made any sense. You heard the door open, you assumed it was another student as you looked up but it wasn’t. It must have been the man coming today, early.

“Y/n!” Your teacher called and you paused your music.

“Oh don’t disturb her” he said while you took your ear buds out.

“It’s alright” you said curious.

“I wasn’t in a zone yet” you said as he stared at you.

“This is Mr Dracula, this is Y/n one of my prized pupils” your teacher grinned making you flush a little at the compliment.

“Ah and here is Jake” you glanced to the boy coming in. Quiet lad, skinny with blonde hair, cute in a way.

“Oh, hello sir” he said a little nervous making you smile. He saw you, gave a small wave and laid all his books on his desk.

“Who is that?” He came over and whispered.

“A Mr Dracula the master vampire himself” you grinned seeing his slightly scared face.

“I’m messing! Goodness, his name is Dracula though I don’t know why he’s here” you shrugged still whispering as you gave them a glance. He was looking at you, eyes curious making you frown. Nobody was ever interest or curious in you.

“Likes you” Jake mumbled as you went to smack him he dodged and chuckled. You rolled your eyes putting your earphones in as more students arrived. Your teacher let you do your own thing while she went over something with the class. You had been drawing since you were five and taught yourself all the way to now. You couldn’t hear anyone just felt the scrap of the pencil and the music in your ears thrumming with your heartbeat. You flinched when you felt someone by you and pulled your earphones out glancing behind you.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle, this is excellent work” the Mr Dracula said looking at your piece.

“A leathery owl?” He asked curiously and you shrugged.

“Skin like a bat” he said and you nodded.

“Curious mix” he whispered.

“Both night hunters” he added and you nodded again confused by his fascination.

“I like it” he said finally and you thanked him softly.

“Y/n? Was it?” He asked and you nodded.

“Mr Dracula” you said hardly believing the name. He chuckled softly nodding you half thought he might change it to a real name but he didn’t.

“I am curious though as to why you aren’t following the class, I can see why but is this not new to learn?” He asked kneeling and leaning against your table. You sat awkwardly looking slightly down at him.

“I know this- well sort of- I’ve taught myself everything I know, Mrs Jones says she can’t teach me new things with how I work, so she let me do my own thing and just do the written assignments when they come up” you shrugged speaking softly so you didn’t disturb anyone else.

“Fascinating” he said looking to your picture again.

“I guess- it’s not like everyone else’s, I’m not comfortable drawing human bodies or pieces of old” you said glancing around you. They either had portraits or a simple naked person posing, some form of olden art they copied or redid.

“I like your style” he said and you thanked him again.

“I thought you’d be more into the olden pieces, no offence of course- just” you shrugged hands cupped together in your lap as you fidgeted.

“None taken, I’m a man of new things, and this is quite new” he chuckled softly glancing to your hands and frowning.

“Are you-“ he went to speak but an alarm went off.

“Oh not another one, right come on everyone to the courtyard!” Mrs Jones called and you stood quickly ignoring his question and going out the door. Your anxiety has rocketed by the attention you received, you struggled with the crowd and stood by Mrs Jones as everyone gathered.

“You alright dear?” She asked and you nodded.

“Where’s your bag?” She asked seeing your nervous fidgeting.

“In the class I forgot” you mumbled and she sighed softly.

“It’s alright we shouldn’t be out here long” she said patting your back.

“What’s happening?” You jumped slightly as Mr Dracula appeared by Mrs Jones side.

“A fire drill, we’ve had more in the past month than last year! All because of the first year in science blowing up the Chen lab” she scoffed and you saw the man tense.

“Poor lad felt horrible, but that’s why you do not play with chemicals” she huffed making you smile lightly. She hated science and what they sometimes did in the labs, she’s been scared of it since her childhood by something that happened.

“Kaleb felt horrible” you whispered to her and she sighed nodding.

“I know, just I wish they’d be more careful” she huffed making you smile and nod. You glanced to the man his eyes on you like he was studying a creature. Your hands shook again and you avoided eye contact before the drill finally ended. You went back to the class quickly grabbing your bag and unzipping it. You held a hand sized stuffed bunny with super soft fluff over it. It was fake, silly little nose and eyes but ever since your mum bought it’s been your tool to calm down. The feel of the soft strands of fur, just something that helped you. Your phone vibrated and you glanced to it seeing Jakes name. You opened the message seeing an are you ok? On there. You smiled looking to him and nodding before closing your phone and putting your earphones in again. You drew silently, besides the music, in a zone, one hand in your lap with the bunny, the other sliding across the paper. Your class ended though people had gone without you realising. You sat alone still drawing. You pulled out your earphones and looked to Mrs Jones.

“Sorry Mrs Jones” you called and she looked up from her computer.

“Oh nonsense it’s quite alright you know I don’t disturb your zone” she chuckled making you smile and begin to pack up. Mr Dracula had found a spot in the corner sketching on a piece of paper.

“You draw?” You said as you walked to Mrs Jones desk.

“I used to, afraid I’ve lost some talent” he said turning the picture to you. You froze, it was a drawing of you, leaning over your table eyes focused. He capture so much detail.

“That’s- well detailed” you said as you glanced to Mrs Jones.

“I’m afraid everyone left before I got inspiration” he chuckled turning it back to himself.

“Oh” you whispered gulping slightly.

“I haven’t offended you have I? I’m afraid I do have to copy from somewhere” he said and you shook your head.

“No I’m-“ you stuttered slightly.

“Nobody’s drawn me it’s strange” you said flushing slightly.

“Nobody? What a waste of beauty” he said softly as he stood and gave you the piece of paper.

“Beauty?” You said confused and he smiled.

“You’re a beautiful girl” he whispered and you flushed. As creepy as it was your heart raced and your mind stopped working for a moment. You had never been interested in people your age, young men, no it was the older and matured ones like him that caught your attention.

“Thank you- I’m afraid I have to go my mum will be waiting” you said looking to Mrs Jones who was about ready to put the man in the corner.

“Ah yes, can’t keep parents waiting, I hope you can teach me one day of your skills” he chuckled as you waved goodbye to them both and left.

You rushed to your mums car and sat down quickly gripping the bunny.

“What happened?” She asked.

“A man came in today, odd name, he drew me” you said handing her the picture. She looked at it stunned as you were.

“Was he handsome at least?” She asked and you rolled your eyes at her light hearted jokes.

“Yes mum, but this is creepy!” You snapped softly.

“I know, I know this is strange, did Mrs Jones see?” She asked starting the car and leaving.

“Yes, she was about to put him in the corner” you smiled to yourself.

“Well that’s good then” she smiled at you.

Back home you laid awake for a while, the man on your mind, he had strange handsome features about him, probably old enough to be your damned father and yet your mind wondered stupidly.

Next Chapter

[letterboxd]

Love Thy Neighbor.

With her nineteenth-century American romance, The World to Come—starring Katherine Waterston and Vanessa Kirby—screening now, director Mona Fastvold talks to Ella Kemp about the need to create images, striving for ASMR storytelling, and just how much we owe Terrence Malick.

“We’ve seen a lot of movies during this time period in America about what the husbands were out doing… but they had wives who are at home, living their completely separate lives. What were they up to?” —Mona Fastvold

In the American Northeast in the nineteenth century, life for farmers’ wives is physical, lonely, subject to both the extremes of weather and their husbands’ moods. When Abigail (Katherine Waterston) and Tallie (Vanessa Kirby) become neighbors in The World To Come, their lives become infinitely more bearable.

What unfolds is a careful study of the ways affection and understanding can bloom in the most unlikely places. Based on Jim Shepard’s short story of the same name, Mona Fastvold’s desperately romantic film starts where Abigail’s diary also begins: with a new year, and new neighbors. Through lyrical voice-over and closely drawn scenes, Abigail tells of how, in the wake of unimaginable loss, her life is cracked wide open by the arrival of effervescent, free-spirited Tallie. She speaks of grief and exhaustion, but also of astonishment and joy.

Katherine Waterston as Abigail and Vanessa Kirby as Tallie in ‘The World to Come’. / Photo by Vlad Cioplea

It’s a story felt through whispers as much as kisses, framed by the blustery winds of the East-Coast frontier—and by the spectre of their husbands (Casey Affleck as the downcast Dyer, Christopher Abbott as the jealous, disturbing Finney) finding out about their new love. Fastvold gives each character just enough attention to let the relationships that matter most rise up all on their own. She does so with words, poetry that somehow feels alive, and with music—specifically, a stunningly passionate clarinet soundtrack.

The World to Come won the Queer Lion at Venice last August (where it miraculously had an in-person premiere), and won many more hearts at Sundance in January. It’s Fastvold’s second film as director, after 2014’s The Sleepwalker, which also starred Christopher Abbott, and was co-written by Fastvold’s partner (and Vox Lux director) Brady Corbet.

What did you feel when reading Jim’s story for the first time? Mona Fastvold: It was a home I wanted to move into. It was this feeling of thinking, ‘This belongs in my universe, and I belong in this universe.’ And I all of a sudden had a few images that I felt a very strong need to create. The first thing that I felt really compelled to do was creating this physical expression of joy after the first kiss. I had this image of Katherine in this wide shot, completely open and just exposed. And I was really compelled to shoot her in the snow by the grave as well.

I also wanted to frame her being tied to the house with a rope, working her way through the snowstorm. There was a lot of amazing text and maybe fewer images in the script, because it’s written by these two really wonderful writers and authors of novels, not so much screenplays. So it’s not a very technical screenplay, and there were a lot of things left to me to work out, which I enjoyed. But the foundation was this really good text.

Mona Fastvold on the set of ‘The World to Come’. / Photo by Toni Salabasev

The text is so striking, in the way it’s so verbose but never feels stiff. How did you keep the words intact while bringing these emotions to life? I cast some really good actors, so that helps! Then when you’re working with this kind of text, it’s not really a text that you can improvise or play around as much, you really just need to honor it. For me it’s really about finding the movement that will support the beats of the text. I like the edit to be motivated by a gesture, something that says, “I want you to look at this”. I’m trying to make the rhythm more exciting. Ping-ponging back and forth is less exciting to me.

When rehearsing, we’d create movement either physically, or find changes through long pauses already in the text, and then upon finding those organic beats I’d figure out with my DP how we can stay in one take for as long as possible, until we find that moment which motivates a change. I never like there to be a camera movement just for there to be something cool visually. And there’s all this subtext in the text, all these messages Abigail and Tallie are trying to send to each other. When are you being direct? When are you being understood? When are you not?

Particularly in recent years, we’ve been fortunate to have a number of films that reframe period pieces about forbidden lesbian romances. Why do you think we keep coming back to this kind of story? A lot of people feel compelled to say these stories have always been there, and to claim that part of history. It’s not modern, it’s not a new thing, but it’s just that these stories have not been told much. Especially a love story that takes place among farmers. We know a little bit about upper-class stories from some literature, but not that much from that time period. So part of the appeal for me was to say: this is a part of history. Even though it’s not a story about Napoleon, this story about these two quiet, introverted women is still worth exploring. And we’ve seen a lot of movies during this time period in America about what the husbands were out doing. I’ve grown up watching these movies, but they had wives who are at home, living their completely separate lives. What were they up to?

Finney (Christopher Abbott) reads Tallie’s mail. / Photo by Vlad Cioplea

You mention the husbands—I felt watching this film that it was set in a very different world to the likes of Portrait of a Lady on Fire, which a lot of people loved precisely because of how few men were in the film. But here the husbands play a really important part within the story about these two women, helping to convey their frustration and limitations, without taking over. All characters in a story deserve equal counts of love and attention from the writers, directors and actors. It was incredibly important to portray the men with as much nuance as Abigail and Tallie. It makes for a more interesting story for them, that their relationships with their partners are complex—they’re not just these male archetypes who are terrible and awful. Dyer was an interesting character, in that he’s striving to understand even though he doesn’t quite. And he had different ambitions as well, but this is the situation he’s in, and he’s chosen a practical partner who he respects, and I guess loves and cares for. But they’re running a farm together, they’re business partners as well and depend on each other for survival. When he says “I’ll die without you” it’s quite literal, in a way. I wanted to break these characters open and make them more difficult to deal with, for themselves and for the women as well.

Your picture includes a beautiful, and really unexpected score by Daniel Blumberg—particularly in the use of the clarinet, which feels like its own kind of narrative. Can you talk me through the process of weaving that into the story? I brought in Daniel even when I was developing the script and working on casting early on. I kept listening to ‘Three Pieces for Solo Clarinet’ by Igor Stravinsky, and somehow the instrument felt really connected to Katherine’s voice-over. It was important that the voice-over was not slammed on top at the end. It’s there, I hope, to have a bit of an ASMR effect where you feel it draws you really close to Abigail in a hypnotic way. That you feel like you get this intimate experience of that character by having access to her life even if it doesn’t explain things too much.

So we wanted to have the score speaking to the voice-over, which we recorded long before we started shooting as well. We would play it on set and Daniel would come in and play music there. So constantly being in dialogue between the text being read and the music being played was an important part of the process.

It’s time for some Life in Film questions. What is your favorite ‘forbidden love’ story? A film I really love, which inspired The World to Come, is Olivia. It’s from 1951 and it’s directed by Jacqueline Audry, and it was one of the first lesbian on-screen kisses ever captured. It’s a great movie directed by a female director when that wasn’t so much of a thing. It was an important trailblazer for this film.

Marie-Claire Olivia and Simone Simon in Jacqueline Audry’s ‘Olivia’ (1951).

What’s your favourite “Dear Diary” movie, the one that best uses a confessional voice-over? Terrence Malick pretty much cornered that market with some beautiful, beautiful attempts at that. We definitely have to pay our respects! Particularly Days of Heaven is pretty amazing. The voice-over work there is extraordinary.

What is your go-to comfort movie? It’s funny because I was asked that a while ago and normally I would just be like, “Anything Nancy Meyers makes is just so lovely”. She makes these films that are just like candy. But during the pandemic, it’s just too hard to watch these cozy movies, because it just makes you feel depressed. So right now, the film I’ve watched the most in my lifetime is Eyes Wide Shut. I also find it to be a Christmas movie… If it’s on anywhere, I’ll always leave it on, or just watch a little piece of it.

What should Letterboxd members watch after The World to Come? First of all they should watch Olivia if they haven’t seen it, and then the other day I watched Martin Eden—it’s an incredible movie. So beautifully made.

What is the one film that first made you want to be a filmmaker? I grew up watching a lot of movies. My family are cinephiles and I’ve always loved films. I grew up on a steady diet of Ingmar Bergman’s films during my teenage years, and Tarkovsky too. Seeing those films made a really big impression me. But what really inspired me in many ways was seeing Claire Denis’ films. The way she approaches storytelling is so intuitive. It’s so exciting. That resonated with me, and later on I recognized some of that in Lucrecia Martel as well. I just love how she handles time and logic and character.

Related content

120 Lesbian Films to Watch Before Saying All Lesbian Cinema is the Same

Pride: A Chronological History of Queer Interest and LGBTQ+ Cinema

Films Directed by Women

Follow Bleecker Street on Letterboxd

Follow Ella on Letterboxd

‘The World to Come’ is currently in select US theaters, and will be available on demand from March 2, via Bleecker Street.

[booksbookssomemoviesandbooks]

Book Recs

Hello! so for my first post, I'll recommend some books, so y'all can have a closer look at some fandoms I'll post about! enjoy!!

1.  

Harry Potter By J.K. Rowling is definitely an interesting, well-written series! there are 7 books however, and the books get bigger as the series progresses. It's sometimes difficult to know the exact order, so I'll list it below:

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Although the movies are great, they don't include all the amazing details, as with all movies. A short summary:

Harry Potter, a young boy who’s being constantly abused by his uncle Vernon and aunt Petunia, gets a peculiar letter from the magical school of Hogwarts, where he spends most of his time, becoming his home.

Quotes:

“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." ― Albus Dumbledore

“You’re just as sane as I am" - Luna Lovegood

“Mischief managed" - Fred and George Weasley

It is Important to know that j*r is a huge transphobe, along with other things, and is currently being erased by the fandom itself.

2.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians, along with the other series by Rick Riordan, is a definite must-read. With each book, you can really notice the character developments and a lot more! There is loads of representation in this one, with lgbtqia+ characters, black characters, Muslim characters and more. It's very action-packed and addicting, sucking you into the magnificent world of Half-Bloods and Demigods within the first page. The first series consists of 5 books, in the following order:

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief

Percy Jackson and the Sea of Monsters

Percy Jackson and the Titan's Curse

Percy Jackson and the Battle of The Labyrinth

Percy Jackson and the Last Olympian

THE MOVIES ARE TRASH SO I DEFINITELY DO NOT RECOMMEND WATCHING THEM BEFORE READING THE BOOKS!!! There were many changes and the movies aren't nearly as good as the books. A short summary:

Percy Jackson, a 12 year-old who lives with his mother, Sally, and step-father, Gabe, attends the private boarding school Yancy Academy. While on a school trip, his teacher, Mrs. Dodds, turns into a fury and attacks him. This, in turn, triggers a series of other problems and adventures.

Quotes:

“If my life is going to mean anything, I have to live it myself.” - Percy Jackson

“With great power, comes great need to nap. Wake me up later." - Nico Di Angelo

“Even strength has to bow down to wisdom sometimes." - Annabeth Chase

3.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins is one of my most recommended series! With everything it deals with, from the Capitol to the districts to the champions, the books are amazing! 

Order:

The Hunger Games

Catching Fire

Mockingjay

Starring the movies is the amazing Jennifer Lawrence, but with all books, the movies have slight differences, although I definitely recommend watching them when you're done with the books.

A Short Summary:

In what was once North America, the Capitol of Panem maintains its hold on its 12 districts by forcing them each to select a boy and a girl, called Tributes, to compete in a nationally televised event called the Hunger Games. Every citizen must watch as the youths fight to the death until only one remains. District 12 Tribute Katniss Everdeen has little to rely on, other than her hunting skills and sharp instincts, in an arena where she must weigh survival against love.

(FILM SYNOPSIS)

Quotes:

"May the odds be ever in your favor." - Effie Trinket

"Fire is catching, and if we burn, you burn with us!" - Katniss Everdeen

“Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.” - President Snow

4.

Divergent is another book with a huge fandom, and rightfully so. This book is amazing, and you honestly can't live without having read it!

Order:

Divergent

Insurgent

Allegiant 

Surprisingly, I haven't watched the movies yet, but I hear that they aren’t that bad, so you should give them a go!

Summary:

In a world run by fictional classes known as factions, children who reach the age of 16 begin to choose which factions they wish to call home for the rest of their lives. Each faction comes with its own ups and downs, so it's definitely a hard choice, especially for someone as unique as Beatrice.

Quotes:

“Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it“ - Four

“We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.” - Dauntless Motto

"We are not the same. But we are, somehow, one." - Tris

5. 

You might have heard of this series, and it's really addictive, trust me! The Mortal Instruments is one of the most astonishing books I've ever read, and it's most definitely my go-to when recommending a book series!

Order:

City of Bones

City of Ashes

City of Glass

City of Fallen Angels

City of Lost Souls

City of Heavenly Fire

Again, (I know this is rather disappointing) I haven't watched the movies, but do check them out!

Summary:

Clary Fray's search for her missing mother leads her into an alternate New York called Downworld, filled with mysterious faeries, hard-partying warlocks, not-what-they-seem vampires, an army of werewolves, and the demons who want to destroy it all.

via: https://shadowhunters.com/shadowhunters-novels/the-mortal-instruments/#:~:text=Clary%20Fray's%20search%20for%20her,want%20to%20destroy%20it%20all.

Quotes:

“Heroes aren't always the ones who win. They're the ones who lose, sometimes. But they keep fighting, they keep coming back. They don't give up. That's what makes them heroes.” - Clary Fairchild

“If I cannot move Heaven, I will raise Hell.” - Sebastion Morgenstern

“The descent into Hell is easy.” - Motto of the Nephilim

6.

Gay. What more needs to be said?

SADLY, there isn't a movie yet, but I think they're working on one, or sure though

Summary:

Set in a world in which a female Democrat from Texas wins the presidency in 2016, Red, White & Royal Blue chronicles the illicit romance between the president's son, Georgetown senior Alex Claremont-Diaz (Dad is a Mexican-American senator), and Prince Henry of Wales, his childhood nemesis.

Via: https://www.wsj.com/articles/red-white-royal-blue-book-summer-beach-read-11565285001#:~:text=Set%20in%20a%20world%20in,of%20Wales%2C%20his%20childhood%20nemesis.

Also, classic enemies-friends-lovers arc and honestly it's amazing

Quotes:

“As your mother, I can appreciate that maybe this isn’t your fault, but as the president, all I want is to have the CIA fake your death and ride the dead-kid sympathy into a second term.” - Ellen Claremont 

" 'that’s because you can’t hear all the menacing gobbling.' 'Yes, famously the most sinister of all animal sounds, the gobble.' " - Harry and Alex

"History, huh? Bet we could make some." - Alex

7.

I’m sure you've heard at least a little bit about this book. While not nearly as famous as ones mentioned above, it's still just as good, of not better. I'd say this book is one of my favorites, to be honest. It speaks about a lot of topics people usually find disturbing, and it makes me so happy that it's there, it's written, it's amazing. PTSD, coming out issues, abusive relationships and more, this book is truly awesome.

TRIGGER WARNING 

Summary:

A young boy named Charlie usually dissociates, and pushes other people away. He’s afraid of beginning high school, until he meets two other students who show him how bizarre and amazing the world is.

Quotes:

“And in that moment, I swear we were infinite” - Charlie

“We accept the love we think we deserve” - Mr. Anderson

“You can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love" - Sam

8. 

This book is honestly pro-feminist and I think that's much more than enough

Summary:

Kaur explores the true impact of sexual abuse and harassment, as well as the difficulties of immigrating, being a female, and depression.

It's also a poem

TRIGGER WARNING

Quotes:

“what is stronger

than the human heart

which shatters over and over

and still lives”

“you do not just wake up and become the butterfly 

- growth is a process”

“on the last day of love

my heart cracked inside my body"

9.

This book isn't very well-known, which really sucks because I really love how it speaks about the consequences of WWII from the German point of view. And about the Germans who did not believe in Hitler's ways. It's also based on a real story, and it's so cool

Summary: 

A nurse working in a nursing home meets a peculiar old lady who decides to tell her her story when she meets the nurse's younger son, Karl, who reminded her of her brother. Lizzie (the old lady) speaks about life in Dresden before the war, and even after it. She also tells them the story about the strange, magnificent elephant in her garden.

Quotes:

“That was the only way of keeping our hopes alive, by looking beyond all we were seeing around us, and the shadow of disaster that hung over us.” - 

“I think I have always had a strong sense of justice, of fair play, of what is right and what is wrong.” - 

“Our home should be an oasis of peace and harmony for us in a troubled world.” - Lizzie (Quoting Papi)

10.

This book is pro-blm and it's ahead of its time (by like 2 years but still). 

Summary:

Sixteen-year-old Starr Carter moves between two worlds: the poor neighborhood where she lives and the fancy suburban prep school she attends. The uneasy balance between these worlds is shattered when Starr witnesses the fatal shooting of her childhood best friend Khalil at the hands of a police officer. via: https://socialjusticebooks.org/the-hate-u-give/#:~:text=Sixteen%2Dyear%2Dold%20Starr%20Carter,hands%20of%20a%20police%20officer.

Quotes:

“Sometimes you can do everything right and things will still go wrong. The key is to never stop doing right.” - Lisa

“Daddy once told me there’s a rage passed down to every black man from his ancestors, born the moment they couldn’t stop the slave masters from hurting their families. Daddy also said there’s nothing more dangerous than when that rage is activated.” - Starr

“Everybody wants to talk about how Khalil died,” I say. “But this isn’t about how Khalil died. It’s about the fact that he lived. His life mattered. Khalil lived!” I look at the cops again. “You hear me? Khalil lived!” - Starr

[manuscripts-dontburn]

Prisoner of Night and Fog

Author: Anne Blankman

First published: 2014

Pages: 432

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 5 days

Though the first part seemed aimed at younger readers and I was ready to plough through many YA clichés, this is, in fact, a really well-written, solid historical fiction. Anne Blankman has certainly done her homework and her fictional character of Gretchen Müller, her sadistic and unpredictable brother and her seemingly weak mother are woven so seamlessly among the real historical characters I actually stopped reading at one point to look them up (and confirm they are indeed fictional). True, the inevitable romance was... well... inevitable from the first chapter and personally, I thought more time and character development would have made our heroine´s journey even more interesting and suspenseful. However, the moments which are meant to be disturbing ARE disturbing, the points meant to be creepy ARE creepy and I also very much appreciate the considerable historical accuracy backing the whole plot. Also, the fact that this takes place quite a long time before WW2, merely hinting at what is to come, rather than presenting the most overused - and overwritten - conflict and horror of the past century. Definitely a book more readers should try if they are at all interested in historical fiction that is written well.

A Supernatural War: Magic, Divination, and Faith During the First World War

Author: Owen Davies

First published: 2019

Pages: 304

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 10 days

Fascinating in focus and yet very tight and even sparing in style, this is a very interesting book that serves well to provide yet another piece to the puzzle of the social history of the First World War. My only major critique would be this: certain parts felt like encyclopedic entries which left one "hanging" - wanting more information but either there isn´t any or the author has decided not to include it. The author himself, too, acknowledges that white Christians were far from being the only ones entangled in the fighting and does mention beliefs and superstitions of other nationalities and faiths, but half a chapter does not do them justice. In other words, this study could have - and should have - been longer, because it calls to us through the ages with everything that is human, naive, fragile and hopeful.

To Be Taught, If Fortunate

Author: Becky Chambers

First published: 2019

Pages: 135

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 2 days

This was both beautiful and rather depressing. Becky Chambers has impressed me before and she has managed to do it again - on 135 pages of this novella. Her talent as a writer, her imagination and her sensitive treatment of the human psyche is undisputable.

Death of a Romanov Prince

Author: Terry Bolland, Arturo E Beéche

First published: 2018

Pages: 240

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 2 days

Unfortunately, this book was a huge letdown. The Konstantinovichi branch of the Romanov family have always had a special place in my heart and I jump at every piece of literature that concerns them - there are few in the West! Arguably Prince Oleg was the most promising of the last "imperial" generation and I definitely appreciate that somebody tried to bring attention to him. Sadly, this publication suffers from the same weaknesses as any of the books published and edited by Arturo E Beéche: A great number of typos and mistakes within the text. Amateurish formating. Sometimes the original photographs were very small and they are so enlarged you cannot see anything since they are very pixelated. Information and quotes are repeated numerous times. But those technical things could be forgiven if the text had value. I am sad to say that there is very little new information - on the contrary, the book takes such a broad scope to cover various relations and palaces (without providing pictures of what is being described) that it has no time to go in-depth at all. Case in point: there is not a single reference to the homosexual tendencies of Oleg´s father and uncle, even though their sexuality greatly affected their lives. The book spends time listing German and Russian and Greek relatives and mentions Oleg´s intelligence and good character but nowhere does it present any evidence of it. This is not an insightful biography I had hoped for. It is an encyclopedic, sterile and confusingly put together attempt at.... what exactly? I don´t even know. A great opportunity wasted.

The Good Bee: A Celebration of Bees – And How to Save Them

Author: Alison Benjamin, Brian McCallum

First published: 2019

Pages: 192

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

How long did it take: 4 days

I very much appreciate the intent with which this little book was written and it certainly holds some fascinating information and helpful tips. At the same time, the text does not flow too well and reminds one more of a textbook rather than something that would truly inspire one to take up bee-keeping. I suppose I just wanted something else out of it than what it gave..

Hesse: A Princely German Collection

Edited by: Penelope Hunter-Stiebel

First published: 2005

Pages: 287

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 2 days

A well-put together catalogue, introducing just the right amount of information and full of beautiful, high-quality photographs.

The Forsyte Saga

Author: John Galsworthy

First published: 1921

Pages: 752

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 7 days

See my full review HERE

Girls of Paper and Fire

Author: Natasha Ngan

First published: 2018

Pages: 384

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 6 days

I liked the possibilities and the setting more than the final execution and plot. Other than that I just feel like I am too old for this kind of books. So maybe the problem here is me, really.

Lucia: A Venetian Life in the Age of Napoleon

Author: Andrea di Robiland

First published: 2008

Pages: 384

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 3 days

I have learned long ago that I am most open to gaining new knowledge through the stories of individual women. By looking through the eyes of Lucia I have finally understood the mess which was Northern Italy before, during and after Napoleonic times and I got introduced to an interesting lady. Definitely a win for me.

Pohorská vesnice

Author: Božena Němcová

First published: 1855

Pages: 181

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 4 days

Když jsem se konečně přenesla přes nářečí i slovenštinu, když jsem přestala kroutit očima nad tím, že celý příběh je o nedostatku komunikace, dokázala jsem ocenit krásný obraz českého venkova, jak jej Božena Němcová zachytila. A konec mne dojal oproti všemu očekávání.

Hitler's Hangman: The Life Of Heydrich

Author: Robert Gerwarth

First published: 2011

Pages: 433

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 5 days

Perhaps not the most exhaustive, but still very informative biography of one of the worst humans ever. The terrifying thing about him was especially the fact that he was so average and unremarkable in every single thing - and then he rode the storm and changed to always be on top. The author´s style is very readable and he manages to strike the chord between the academic and more personal tone well.

The Wife Upstairs

Author: Rachel Hawkins

First published: 2021

Pages: 290

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 2 days

I am not big into thrillers but this got me sold on "Jane Eyre inspired". It was quite good, though this type of writing does not make me crazy.

Conspiracy of Blood and Smoke

Author: Anne Blankman

First published: 2015

Pages: 416

Rating: ★★★☆☆

How long did it take: 3 days

A sequel to Prisoner of Night and Fog, this was solid, unfortunately it was not as good as its predecessor. The first book is about a girl waking up to the world, finding cracks in what she has been taught all her life. It is about her deciding to think for herself and how this affects her life and relationships. And since it is pre-Nazi Germany, these changes in her thinking are very dangerous. This second book, on the other hand, is primarily a detective story without a pay-off, and way too many things are spoon-fed to the reader or feel convenient. I also felt that most of the book followed a theme of "we know where to find information - we go get it - Nazis get there at the same time - we somehow manage to escape." On the other hand, if something did work, it was the romance. Passionate, devoted and loyal, and yet mature and believable.

The Empress of Salt and Fortune

Author: Nghi Vo

First published: 2020

Pages: 121

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 1 day

Lovely and breathing of history and legends. Modest in length, rich in the story.

The Library of the Unwritten

Author: A.J. Hackwith

First published: 2019

Pages: 440

Rating: ★★★★★

How long did it take: 8 days

First of all, as an author who is yet to finish any of her projects, I felt RUDELY called out by this book! Second of all, this is an absolute blast. An adventure with a heart, characters you cannot help but care for and so, so witty and clever in using mythology and even Biblical stories. Brilliant work!

Mansfield Park

Author: Jane Austen

First published: 1814

Pages: 584

Rating: ★★★★☆

How long did it take: 3 days

I suspect that my enjoyment of Jane Austen novels usually comes with how interesting her heroines are. And so when I was given Fanny Price, who for the first 200 pages merely breathes and observes, I was almost less than excited. But once I was willing to understand Fanny was not there to amuse me, she was there to provide a comfortable, quiet place among the bustle of feelings and happenings of others, who only later recognize how much she herself was interwoven into their lives. Mansfield Park does not have the wit and comedy of Emma or Pride and Prejudice but stands on the ground as solid as Sense and Sensibility. It was slow and perhaps even a bit too long, but I enjoyed it a lot.

[yazzydream]

yazzy, i trust your taste so much now, since i found both russian roulette and heae the silence by your fanarts, so please rec' fanfiction

Oh maaaan. That’s so flattering. Lol. 

Since you haven’t specified for which fandom, I’ll just post my very favorites in general:

As you’ve mentioned we’ve got

Hear the Silence by EmptySurface - [Naruto, SI OC]

Russian Roulette by Vixen_Tail - [KHR, SI OC]

(For those who don’t know them.)

Harry Potter

Prince of the Dark Kingdom by Mizuni-sama - [AU] This one is… my all time favorite fic ever. It’s unfortunately not been updated since 2014 ;_; But still has 147 chapters. This is a ‘Voldemort won’ story where Harry stumbles back into the British Wizarding World and somehow Voldemort becomes his mentor. NOT Dark!Harry. That’s what’s so wonderful. You can see how the circumstances and changes in history led to everyone becoming the way they did while still being true to themselves.

Timely Errors by Worfe - [Harry Potter] A short sweet Harry-travels-to-the-Marauders-time fic. This actually has my favorite version of Harry.

Across the Universe by mira mirth - [Oneshot, time travel] This is… totally tropetastic and great. lmao. Like, you’ve got cynical Harry dimension traveling to a world where their Harry died that fateful Halloween night and James and Lily survived. The BWL is Neville. But it’s all from James’ pov who is simultaneously happy to have his first son back but is incredibly aware that Harry’s not what they expected to be.

Full circle by tetsurashian - [HUMOR, Harry/Voldemort] An absolute blast. This fic is so so fun. Harry and Voldemort/Tom have been in a neverending cycle of rebirth until they ended up in what seems to be their original timeline. There are all these amazing omake snapshots of their previous lives at the end of some chapters which are seriously amazing. My favorite so far is the life where they’re both girls who end up ruling their strict all girls-boarding school with an iron fist. lmao.

Ibex by AgeOfAlejandro - I will never get over how relieved I am I stumbled upon this fic again on AO3 after I thought I’d lost it forever years ago during one of FF.net’s purges. Uhh… how to explain this one. It’s Dark Lord Potter. The best version of dark!Harry imo. He’s manipulative and ruthless, but he still loves. All those things that make him care about people is still there. It’s just taken a backseat to what he feels is necessary. Last updated in 2012, so I’m not sure the author will come back to it, but it’s worth reading all the same.

Icarus by budchick - [Oneshot, Harry/Tom Riddle] It’s been a while since I read this. But Harry ends up in a world where Tom Riddle is raised by Tom Riddle Senior. It’s… well. He’s trying? But having a witch-boy who does some really scary shit and keeps traumatizing the servants is very stressful. Lol.

Naruto

Ghost by cywscross - [time travel] I am a trope whore. loool. So. We’ve got adult Naruto (aka Yuurei) time traveling to when his younger self was still with the original Team 7 to start off.  And, I gotta say I love it when the older self mentors the younger version of themselves trope. This is all from younger Naruto’s pov.

The Guardian Crow by dianamoth - [SI OC] SI is reincarnated as a summons. It’s such a good idea that makes way for a less complicated life when compared to other SIs honestly. So It’s good to relax with. 

With Nothing On My Tongue by sunshineinwriting - [team 7-centric] Naruto’s use of the kage bunshin changes a lot of things in how he absorbs information and matures. It sends a ripple down to everyone. Badass little child soldiers everywhere.

Claws Amidst the Cracks by Undead Artist - [OC-centric] Not quite self-insert, but OC-centric. And INCREDIBLY BRUTAL. Definitely heed the warnings. It’s super intense and fucked up, and made me cry so many times. OC wakes up as Sasuke in the aftermath of the massacre. OC, who is from our world, did not have a great life either. Anyway, it’s brilliantly written and I love it, but I know some people just cannot with how graphic it can get.

Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

Chroma Diamonds by Brick - [KHR, R27, 2772, R2772, AU] Slow burn, best burn. We’re nowhere near the romance bits, and it’s fantastic. The set up is: No one came to train this universe’s Tsuna (and yes, other dimensions existing is a plot point) and he grows up kind of twisted with his Flame sealed. Tsuna’s not… a bad person per se. But without anyone there to kick his ass into gear, he makes decisions that would probably freak out canon!Tsuna. Lots of Flame lore and culture. Namimori is a mafia retirement town. Ayye.

Colorire by The_Plot_Bunny_Whisperer - Just a feel-good SkyArcobaleno!Tsuna fic, good to relax with.

Welkin by Shivani - Another SkyArcobaleno!Tsuna fic. This one’s… huh, actually the only bashing fic on this list actually. Lol. 

Sidelines by esama - In one of those other universes that taken over by Byakuran, this Tsuna is the only one who remembers it when things are returned to “normal” by canon!Yuni.

For the Love of the Game by metisket - [Yamamoto-centric, character study] This snippet covers it pretty well: “It strikes him as weird that he’s had to struggle not to kill people, that it’s been such a challenge. He’s pretty sure that for most people, not being a murderer is way easier than being one.“

Undertale

Metamorphose by tuesday and The Great Boondoggle by Masu_Trout - [Oneshots] These are written by two separate authors but they follow similar themes and characterizations of Frisk which I adore. Which is that Frisk isn’t some sweet baby angel. All those possible choices that the player can make in Undertale? Yea, that’s part of their history. Frisk made those choices to kill or be killed, to commit genocide, or be a pacifist. Chara isn’t a separate entity that exists as a convenient scapegoat who possessed them. All those awful and wonderful things are part of their personality. It’s great. That said, neither of these fics are heavy/angsty. 

Orot by MiniNephthys - [Oneshot] Post-neutral ending. Frisk returns to the Underground.

Crossovers

The Warrior & The Wolf by worldtravellingfly - [HP x Naruto Crossover, Oneshot, Fem!Harry, Harry/Kakashi] Kakashi reincarnated as Sirius’ son.

Somewhere Far from Victory by ewfte - [Naruto x BnHA Crossover] Kakashi is reincarnated as Todoroki Shouto. I’m not really into bnha, so I usually have the wiki open to me as I’m reading. Lol. But it’s so entertaining. It’s fascinating (and sad) seeing what Kakashi makes of the world where he isn’t required to kill for his village from age 6, but still has to deal with… you know, Endeavor.

Whispers in Corners by esama - [HP x Sherlock, Harry/Mycroft] Harry makes a living as a “psychic” calling up the spirits of the dead. Mycroft hires him to tie up some loose ends, and they end up building a relationship.

Impetus by Crunchysunrises - [BtVS x Hunger Games] Buffy ends up in District 12. Which implies there’s more to life outside the Districts which is a no go for the Capital. So barely even understanding each other’s language, Buffy is “chosen” for the Hunger Games. It’s amazing. Because Buffy’s this sweet delicate looking valley girl who likes makeup and looking good, but she can still kick the ass out of anyone in the Districts, and they don’t see it coming.

Others

Apples Equals Cyanide Equals Light by Silver Pard - [Death Note] A highly entertaining introspective by Ryuk about Light. Who really really was very different from other humans.

Brightly Burning by Aishuu - [Hikaru no Go] For want of nail. Basically, what if Hikaru hadn’t joined the Go world until after Sai disappeared? Hikaru is fucking terrifyingly strong and depressed, is what. This last updated in 2009… so probably discontinued. Lol.

No One Left To Blame by Wix - [Oneshot, Team Iron Man, Not Team-Cap Friendly] A one-shot that pretty neatly encapsulates what I think Team Cap deserved post-Civil War.

A Disturbance Beside Him by ghuune - [Daria, Daria/Trent, Smut] It’s sexy definitely, but it’s their characterization during and about sex with each other that really really sells it.

THIS ENDED UP SO MUCH LONGER THAN I EXPECTED. I guess I had a lot more on my rec list than I thought. Or rather, when it comes to my favorite fics I always have to say something about it, don’t I? Whoops.

[innerpostmentality]

Sometimes Beginnings Start With Goodbye III - The Puzzle

This is a TRR AU fan fic inspired by the Choices book series The Royal Romance All rights and many thanks are given to Pixelberry Studios for the use of their characters. This fic is written for my friend @tornbetween2loves it started as a birthday fic and has expanded. Please read these stories in order or they won’t make sense. The series links can be found in my Masterlist. There will be more parts to this series. Pairing: Bastien x Olivia Rating: M - Mature themes/ Erotica                                      

Word count: close to 3000

Warnings: depictions of depression Tagging: @tornbetween2loves @gardeningourmet @kennaxval @stopforamoment @bobasheebaby @cora-nova @indiacater @hopefulmoonobject @drakewalkerwhipped @carabeth @darley1101 @furiousherringoperatortoad

     Olivia strode into the intensive care waiting room her black velvet stiletto heels echoing on the granite floors just as the clock marked 11:30. She immediately focused on Bastien as he rose to greet her. Her heart constricted as she saw how tired and broken he was. Not a hair out of place, immaculately groomed in his traditional black on black but it was there in his eyes, a dullness.     She wanted to cry. She straightened her spine and squared her shoulders, lifted one perfectly shaped brow and pierced him with her emerald gaze. “Have you eaten?”    He gave her a small bow, “Your Grace, Lord Beaumont ordered us a pizza when he got here… Thank you for coming.” She was here a bit earlier than he actually had expected her. Runway ready as always, every hair in place, her ensemble a dark burgundy linen sheath dress with stiletto black pumps, a medium handbag he knew was designer without having to look, and a simple string of pink pearls. Her elegance undeniable as ever. He looked in her emerald eyes he’d always found disturbingly attractive though he would never admit it, and he saw something softer there than he’d ever noted before.   Her voice brought him out of his contemplation. “So you haven’t actually eaten then.” It wasn’t a question.    She walked over and gently shook the sprawled and snoozing Maxwell awake. Bastien noted that she was gentler than usual as she leaned over and called to him. “Max. Maxwell…” He blinked and smiled at her. “Max I’m going to take Bastien to get something to eat and get him out of here for a bit. I need you to stay here and call us if anything changes or any new information is given to you.” She watched him for a moment as he sat up straighter nodding.  

“Let’s go for a walk and find something to eat, Bastien.” She slipped her arm through his and led him out of the waiting room and down the hall to the elevator. “Your Grace,”     She cut him off. “Olivia.” “Olivia, I believe there is a cafeteria that stays open in the basement.” “Bastien I’m getting you out of this hospital. You aren’t doing any good here. You are wound tight as a spring.” She lifted her brow at him. “We’re going for a walk and something decent to eat.”    He let her lead him out of the hospital and down the street a few blocks farther they found a bar still open. The neon sign was small but informed the night that Maenads was open. And the mouthwatering scent of grilled meat permeating the air insured the grill was still open.      Bastien opened the door for her and she headed for a long booth in the back. The bar was actually busier than Bastien would expect this late on a week night. Many of the customers seemed to be hospital staff judging by the scrubs that seemed almost as common as more usual bar attire. And Bastien noted that most of them had food and the look of someone taking a work break rather than partying, so he thought the food would probably be reasonable, fast, and good.       He slid into the booth on the opposite side from the Duchess as a young woman in a uniform that was designed to look like a Hollywood version of Greek nymph wear came up to the table and asked for their order. Olivia ordered an appetizer plate of spanakopita, dolmades, and falafel, Cider and tomato juice to drink, and plates of moussaka for them both after speaking with the server about when it was made and what went into it.     She ordered without asking him then looked across to him after the server had taken the order to the kitchen. Her voice was gentle, “I know you don’t feel hungry. And you probably wouldn’t have ordered so much food. But you called me. And right now I need you to trust me.” She impulsively reached across and patted his hands where he was holding them together on the table. She looked in his steel gray eyes a long moment until he nodded at her. “Good. Now I need to freshen up a bit. I’ll be back.”    He watched her slide out of the booth with the graceful ease of years of practice maneuvering out of vehicles and sitting in couture dresses so fitted they could have been painted on. He watched her walk to the lavatories so gloriously in command. He watched her as he’d always watched her with admiration that somewhere through the years had turned into something more.    Olivia went into the ladies’ room and was glad that no one else was in there. Picking a stall that had the buildings stone wall as one of its sides she laid against the coolness of the stone breathing in as she counted slowly to ten then out. She only allowed herself ten repetitions of this calming ritual before she used the facilities and washed her hands. She examined herself critically insuring that she was in perfect order before going out to join Bastien. The appetizers had arrived and he was just staring into his tomato juice.  “Bastien?” She slid into the booth opposite him.    He looked up at his name and she sucked in her breath at the devastation she saw in his gray eyes. Her voice was soft and gentle, “Did Maxwell call? Have you heard anything?”    He shook his head. “No, I… I’m sorry your Grace.”    She looked at him a long minute. Then nodded. Flagged down one of the staff and told them their order needed to be packaged to go.    Bastien looked up confused. She held one finger up at him. Then called Maxwell.    “Maxwell I need you to stay there until at least Liam and Giselle arrive. I’m taking Bastien home.”    Bastien started to protest and she pressed the finger she was holding up at him gently against his lips to silence him.   “Call me if anything changes. Otherwise I want peace. Do Not disturb Bastien. And Maxwell… Thank you.”    A few minutes later and they were walking out with a hefty bag of well packaged food and getting into a Lyft heading for Bastien’s house. Bastien was silent looking out the window. Olivia put her hand on his back. She expected him to tense up but he didn’t so she left her hand there. When they arrived she climbed out with the food and paid the driver before Bastien could.    He climbed out and held the car door for her expecting her to get back in. She locked eyes with him and shut the car door. “I’m staying.”    Bastien started to say something. Olivia lifted one brow her eyes never leaving his. He closed his mouth and offered her his arm and escorted her into his house. “Where do you want to eat? We are going to eat before this gets cold.”    He led her into the dining room. “You don’t have to stay, your Grace. I appreciate you coming for me.”    ���Sit down Bastien.” She started pulling the food out of the bag and setting it out on the table for them.    “Would, would you like something to drink?” He was nervous. Suddenly very aware of her, of their privacy, of the clean, crisp scent of her.    Olivia pulled the bottles of cider and cans of tomato juice that had been packed with their food out and handed them to Bastien. “Could you open those for me please? This is rather like a picnic isn’t it? Complete with plastic fork, spoon things.” She examined the plastic utensil curiously.    Bastien knew she was trying to distract him. And it was working. He never thought he would have the Duchess of Lythikos sitting at his dining room table. There had always been something about Olivia that attracted him. But his duties never allowed him the time to focus on her as he was tempted to do. There was a svelte grace she possessed that was captivating.     He opened the bottles of cider and she smiled and took a sip.    “Not bad.” She grinned. “Not the first crop so it’s just crisp not bitter. Here, try it.” She handed him the bottle she had sipped from and watched as he took a drink. “Well, what do you think?”    The cool, tart sweetness actually reminded him of her and brought a hint of a smile to his face as he watched her. “Wonderful.” He took another sip as he admired her.    She picked up one of the dolmades and nibbled it. Then nodded and swiped it through some Tzatziki sauce tasted it again. Then offered him a bite. “Do you like them better with the sauce or without?”    His gray eyes studied her as she fed him. He had never really thought of her as a care giver and this side of her was a revelation to him. He was very aware of her touches. He wasn’t sure if it was conscious on her part. But he knew it comforted him at some primal level.    She looked in his eyes and gently stroked his cheek then took her seat. “Let’s try the moussaka. It should be good.”    He picked up the spork and tasted the food certain if he didn’t she would feed him. While he wasn’t opposed to her care he was feeling more inclined to eat now and watch her enjoy her food.    Her green eyes were attentive to him. And she continued to casually touch him as they ate. “Bastien, may I ask you something?”    “Of course, your… Olivia.” He caught himself, his voice was soft as he said her name.    She hesitated a little before she met his eyes. “I’ve known you for years and yet actually know very little about you, Bastien. How is it that I know your birthday is November 11 but I don’t know what drink you prefer, or if you like cake?”    “We socialize in different circles, … Olivia. When you are socializing; I am working.” He searched the emerald beauty of her eyes for a moment. “I’m surprised you know my birthday to be honest.” He looked down a little surprised to find he’d cleaned his plate. “As to your questions,” he smiled softly. “I like Zeos lager. And chocolate cake.”    Smiling she nodded. “I would have guessed chocolate cake. But not the beer. I would have thought, martinis or something more like aged single malt whiskey, straight.” She looked over the remains of the food and handed him the last bit of spanakopita then stood up and started picking up the empty containers and putting them back in the bag. She asked him where the trash was and disposed of it then came back and took his hand. “Come on Bastien it’s bed time.”    He looked up at her surprise registering in his grey eyes. Then he took her hand and stood up. He led her upstairs to a guest bedroom. Opening the door and turning on the light. He went in and pulled a set of sheets and a comforter out of the closet.   She watched him a moment with a thoughtful look. “Have you got a spare tee shirt I can borrow? I can make the bed if you’ll get me a shirt to sleep in.”    He nodded, “Of course.”    A moment later he returned with a soft, fresh smelling shirt and helped her finish making the bed. When they were finished making the bed she went and hugged him. It took a moment before his arms wrapped gently around her. Then he found himself reluctant to let her go as her warmth seeped into him and her arms around him gave him comfort. But he did. Bowing over her hand, air kissing it. His voice soft and hoarse, “Thank you, Your Grace, Olivia.” He squeezed her hand and met her eyes one more time before leaving the room closing the door quietly behind him.    Olivia looked at that door frowning for a long moment before she stripped out of her clothes slipping into his tee-shirt and hanging her clothes in the closet. She went to the bathroom and rinsed her mouth still not liking that Bastien was alone out there. But she wasn’t sure how much she could push. She climbed in the bed and looked at her phone. No messages. It was 1:30 in the morning. At 2:30 she was still not asleep so she got up and padded her way downstairs in search of a glass of water.     He was at the kitchen table sobbing. She went to him and wrapped her arms around him. After a moment he turned and wrapped his arms around her weeping into her chest. Taking his hand she tugged him gently urging him to follow her. She led him upstairs to his room turning on the bedside lamp before she started undressing him.     He didn’t know how she knew to come to him. He wasn’t sure if this was a good idea. But she was an angel of light in a world that was so dark she was salvation itself to him in that moment. So he watched though his tears as she carefully undid his tie and his shirt buttons and his belt slipping them off him. He watched as she turned the comforter and sheets back and pushed him gently to sit. And he sat and watched her take his shoes off and socks and pants then she laid him back in the bed covering him and went to the other side of the bed and climbed in next to him. She pulled him to her side wrapping her arms around him. And finally, carefully he wrapped his arms around her. Curled his body to her side and closed his eyes.    Olivia closed her eyes holding him. Feeling the tension in him she stroked him soothingly, kissing the top of his head.    Neither of them realized exactly when comfort turned to desire. When his large hand splayed across her stomach drifted to her breast beneath his tee shirt. When she lifted his chin to look in his eyes before she sealed her mouth to his, gently, slowly, teasing across his lips with her tongue, inviting him. Neither spoke fearing to break the spell of healing passion that was growing between them.    Their eyes locked, acknowledging, granting permission. Their breaths shortened, syncing as they explored each other touching, savoring the taste of kisses realized only in dreams before these moments. Olivia reached down and pulled her thong off. Bastien kissed her hands reverently then locked eyes with her again as he placed her hand on his boxers over his erection. She lifted her shirt and brought his mouth to her breast before she slipped her hand in his boxers to stroke the velvet steel she found there. He moaned so low she felt it in her bones more than she heard it. Then he was slipping his boxers off. His eyes never leaving hers as he slipped a finger along her slick labia watching her reaction. He spread her folds with his fingers then rolled over her kissing her, moaning his need as he entered her, slipping carefully into her slick channel. She gasped as she stretched to accommodate him. Tears were running down his cheeks as he thrust into her looking in her eyes with such profound need her tears joined his. The intensity of their passion so honed, so synchronized they saw the instant their orgasms blossomed together. He tried to pull out knowing there was no protection but she locked her legs around his hips holding him in her deeply as she came with him her body so thirsty for all his love their eyes locked together as her body milked him of every drop of seed he could give her.  He looked in her eyes in the grip of their passion and understood. At last that puzzle that had been before him was solved. How she healed him. Why she came for him. What it was in her voice. Why he had never married.      They were in love.     He didn’t know when it had happened. He suspected for him it had happened years ago. Now he was looking at it clearly in her eyes. And he finally had to speak. His voice was a deep soft caress as their breathing evened, bodies still joined. “Olivia, I love you.”    She burst into tears and covered his mouth with her hand. “Please don’t tell me that Bastien. Not now.”    He looked in her eyes and stroked her tears away. “Very well. But it is true.”    “There’s too much going on. And you are too hurt right now. And I.. I can’t bare the thought that when Drake gets better you might regret… So just please, not now. I need to know, to be sure it’s not this thing going on. I’m such an idiot at times.   Just come here and hold me. We have to get some sleep.” She saw his smile and his eyes were clear for the first time since she’d arrived.    Bastien rolled over and turned off the bedside lamp then rolled back and pulled her to him spooning her tightly against his body and went to sleep.    She felt him relax and heard the soft rhythm of his breathing, his arms wrapped around her. His body pressed close and she murmured the words her heart had kept for so long. “I love you too, Bastien.”

[lexpistachio]

Hi lex, i had a question. Are there lgbtq books/comics that you enjoyed that you think are more representative and are narratively better than cp? If you do i would love to check more out and get a feel for the differences.

Not gonna lie, I’ve been hemming and hawing about how to answer this ask haha. But thank you for your q!!!

Yes, there are a lot of lgbt books/comics that I have enjoyed better than CP and that I think are narratively better and which treatment of LGBT issues I did find more satisfying.

But I’ve also read (and critiqued) CP by itself, like how I read any other works, and try to come up with things that are objectively enjoyable about it and things I don’t like about it in a vacuum.  I wanted to shy away from making any comparisons, lest it be incongruous or void. I didn’t want to be unfair in comparing it to a work of a different medium or genre, or make hierarchies on works that tackle LGBT issues based on their treatment of it. And anyway, I feel like the brunt of my criticisms about CP has something to do with its abandonment of some of its storylines and its uncompelling character arcs and story. That is to say, I think… maybe any other well-structured, well-written story will do? 

For instance, I just recently finished Andre Aciman’s Call Me By Your Name, and it’s a coming-of-age love story between two guys with a sizeable age difference, and further, it’s a story where there are no extrinsic deterrents to their relationship and what drives the story are just their feelings, how they act on it and don’t act on it, and y’all it doesn’t even tackle coming out, or homophobia; in those aspects, you can compare it to CP, and it just does a better job of addressing the issue of age difference or in general, just expressing the nature of desire and physicality and confusion that comes with First Love. The younger guy’s insecurity, while it was assuaged, never really went away, but at least it was addressed. Are the two works really comparable? No. But did I enjoy it better? Absolutely. And it’s the same for like, I guess 90% of LGBT works I’ve read vis a vis CP.

And I have read a lot of stuff. In the interest of full disclosure, I did grow up reading shonen-ai and yaoi?? If you know what those are, you won’t be surprised at how fluffy comics with “queer” characters has existed long before CP (or, while at it, how reminiscent zim*its is of a traditional yaoi pairing with the Hunky Seme and blushing virginal Uke; might be also why i hate the pairing for how i’ve seen that dynamics a million times before). Though I make no value judgments about yaoi, I guess what I’m trying to say is that there are a LOT of romance (and even scifi and fantasy) LGBT works that don’t focus on queer issues, and they aren’t less enjoyable for that fact. The key is deciding early on if queer issues such as  homophobia is something to be dealt with in the comic’s universe, and not flip flop midway and ending lacklustre and lacking like how CP did it. I guess I wanted to address the point that our criticisms of its lack of discussion about stuff is waived because CP is “supposed to be fluffy”; I maintain that it’s worthy of criticism because it wasn’t consistent on its discussion. Shhh this stays as a secret lol but one of the earliest yaoi novel I remember reading was this pulp trashy novel Only The Ring Finger Knows and it’s about two guys falling for each other and navigating their relationship and living together and they don’t really face scrutiny for being gay. But all their insecurities and all the misunderstandings were addressed properly, and it’s not Man Booker material but I remember feeling satisfied.

In addition, I do believe that the Coming Out story where the protagonist comes out stronger™ for it is as cliche as they come. 

One of the most nonchalant mention of sexuality that I can remember is from one of my favorite webcomics ever– The Less Than Epic Adventures of TJ and Amal--when TJ gets asked if he’s gay and he replies, “I ping all I am ninja.” But it’s also a story about a POC who’s gay and trapped in an arranged marriage, but it doesn’t dwell on that and the story keeps moving. At the heart of that comic is just two guys finding themselves and falling in love while on a roadtrip. That’s as tropey as you get, and yet the character development is to die for.

There’s a lot of LGBT stories where the queerness aren’t used solely as a device to drive a larger story. There is A LOT.

Off the top of my head, Sarah Waters has historical novels like Fingersmith and Tipping the Velvet that are more plot-driven, doesn’t deal with the queer issues, but have women falling in love and being happy together. Fingersmith is also where the movie The Handmaiden is based from, which if you haven’t watched, should. Some of David Levithan’s stories deal with homophobia, but most are just guys falling in love and being happy and cute.  Hanya Yanagihara’s A Little Life–a read I don’t recommend to anyone dear to me– has its protagonist fall in love with his Hollywood celebrity best friend (though I think the takeaway from this novel is that love doesn’t cure trauma, though people suffering from it can be happy) and there is no fuss about their queerness at all, and the book is actually nominated for a Man Booker.

There are also works like Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (POC, LGBT), or Perry Moore’s Hero, or  Tillie Walden’s autobiographical graphic novel Spinning (LGBT, sports) that are about coming-of-age and aren’t afraid to tackle the warping effect of homophobia, the feelings of shame and fear that comes with being queer in a realistic world, and yet did not demure to end on a hopeful note.

I know the webcomic Tripping Over You is but a fluffy slice-of-life that’s just two guys who are in a relationship, talking it out and that’s it?? And it’s satisfying, and I can’t help but highlight how the coming out story of one of its characters, Liam, to his father was nothing but his decision to make, despite all the hiding he did was affecting his relationship with his partner as well. That coming out arc was a blip in the larger story arcs that are… their relationship and about being adults. 

And I mean you even have fanfics that include that feature its characters coming out, and I have read a disturbing amount of fics you guys, even hockey rpf featuring different pairings, that discuss the issues that CP seemed to present (but didn’t follow through on) in a better way. I remember this lowkey one about a beat reporter starting a relationship with a professional hockey player, and the difference in their status is addressed, financially and in other terms, and that both of them are fully cognizant about these things as they proceed with the relationship. And the hopeful coming out scenario is a product of playing out the consequences of it and the alternative. I also remember this moment in that fic where the main POV character deals with a panic attack with his partner present, and it’s so much powerful to me than anything CP has shown about mental health. 

In terms of mental health, I remember reading Tobias and Guy which is as light and fluffy as you get when a guy (literally named Guy) falls in love with a demon guy, and has this arc when Guy dealt with depression while in that relationship, and it was short and succinct but dared one of its characters to at least ask “but his family are loving and are supportive of him. how can he think like that?” for the sake of expounding the topic. I think it’s an okay portrayal of how partners in a relationship might deal in a situation where on suffers from mental health illness. I feel like the show You’re The Worst has also been exemplary in that regard. SKAM’s season 3  deals with internal homophobia and mental health illness while in a relationship and coming out (with none of the backlash of homophobia like CP) but doesn’t deal with cliches, and remains as a compelling and moving story.

In terms of insight into sports, a notable read for me is Nina Revoyr’s The Necessary Hunger (LGBT, POC, Sports), as it treated the sport the characters are in as integral part of who they are, which, I think is an effective use of the sports as a genre. As a manga-reader though, I’ve been spoiled by sports manga which are the best! sports! comics! (Slam Dunk! Hajime no Ippo! Hikaru no Go!) because they deal with their respective sport with so much insight, aplomb and passion, viewed in the eyes of the hero who’s in a journey to triumph. In manga, even baking bread can be a sport haha. To be honest these sports comics don’t need to have an athlete’s insider info on the world it’s set in. They just have to be believable. CP, I think, lacks both believability and insight, and more importantly, a deep tangible way the sports affects its protagonist. I find that so unsatisfying. I’m looking forward to how well C.S. Pacat’s Fence does.

My favorite college slice-of-life comic isn’t LGBT however, but it’s about a group of occasionally-starved college students in an art school. I read/saw the anime when I was in high school and has since stuck with me. I was equally invested in each of the characters’ storylines, not much like how I lost interest in CP after Rans and Holster and Shitty and Lardo were relegated to the fawning supportive straight friends stereotypes. The main romance doesn’t detract from the characters having their own stories and careers they want to fulfill. Even the POV character, who wasn’t my fave, had an endearing and compelling story.

As a bottomline: I don’t think there is a holy grail of lgbt works insomuch as they subjectively appeals to us. These are just some works that stand out to my memory and there are various takeaways from each for our purpose of comparison, but there are tons of material out there, LGBT and otherwise. SERIOUSLY. And I think there’s nothing wrong with trying it out one work at a time, see if it pings you. Trust your judgment friend!

[bylerchoseme]

Read at your own risk.

I can’t believe there is always BS that pops up in the Scorbus tag from people that just don’t get it. It boggles my mind how low people can sink especially now when someone said only straight people refer to Scorbus as queerbaiting. Are you fucking kidding me? I feel like I am watching comedy become less funny. By the logic only straight people believe Cursed Child is queerbaiting,that’s basically stating JKR could have ended the book with Albus and Scorpius together and straight people wouldn’t mind. It’s nice to know queerbaiting thinkers are limited to straight people. You can have your own opinions about the play but when it comes down to stereotyping people, that’s not okay and never will be in any way, shape or form. 

Why are the hater’s so adamant on saying male friendships can be as deep as Albus and Scorpius? I like to ask you this, why does every male dynamic in Harry Potter have to be friendly? Why isn’t that question being raised? Why can’t we have one male relationship be gay where the two boys (Albus and Scorpius) love each other wholeheartedly and literally can’t live without each other? Why is same gender relationships always a problem? Why not pose the same questions for opposite genders? It seems to me like if people support two people of opposite genders as a couple, no one complains but the moment a gay pair is shipped, there is a sudden outburst. 

Whether you choose to believe it or not, no matter what the sexuality you are, Cursed Child is QUEERBAITING. Pretending it never happened or being completely blindsided to the reality of the problem doesn’t mean it’s not there. I would really appreciate if those who want other’s to think there wasn’t queerbaiting to stop forcing their views on others. That’s not going to happen. Each person is entitled to their own freedom of speech. Everyone has a different perspective.

You are trying to tell me, Albus and Scorpius separating and having an entire staircase sequence dedicated to them is a friendly moment, where they are broken beyond repair. They mean the world to each other and neither is stable without the other to a point Scorpius is depressed and Albus telling Delphi he is destroyed by Scorpius;s absence . Let’s not forget the line, ‘Both full of unhappiness.’ The separation was meant to make these two realize there is no life for them unless they are together.

What about the moment when Scorpius saw Albus talking to Delphi and a part of him not liking it? That’s also friendly? Right? If it was truly about the fact he doesn’t want to be replaced as a best friend, he wouldn’t have shut her down into coming with them. He doesn’t want her around. He feels something for Albus otherwise the part of him not liking it would have not been scripted. Each line is for a reason. 

Not only was Scorbus beautifully built as a gay love romance, they were set up from the very beginning with smiles toward one another before Albus even approached him. After finally meeting, thing’s would be the same anymore for either one. Explain to me why Scorpius wanted to go on adventures with him while knowing the decision’s weren’t positive but regardless, following him everywhere anyway. 

Moving on to the hug on the train. Albus initiated this particular hug and considering it’s their first hug, Albus hugged him with fierceness and it was held for a beat. Also keep in mind, they awkwardly dislocated. If the hug was so friendly, why would they awkwardly end it unless it had another meaning? Friends do hug each other. It’s normal. Apparently, not for Albus and Scorpius because it wasn’t an ordinary hug. 

Albus threatens his dad about what would happen if he doesn’t stay away from Scorpius followed by tears at the thought of not having Scorpius by his side. That’s intense for a father/son relationship. Albus can’t stand not having Scorpius in his life which is why telling him they have to separate ways was the most painful thing. Even Scorpius didn’t take the news very well. He was crying his heart out because of the forced distance between him and Albus.

At the library, Albus gave Scorpius a speech about he makes him stronger and toward the end he says, “when my dad forced us apart-without you- he clearly had more to say here. However, he cut the sentence short. That’s when Albus realized he has a special place for Scorpius in his heart. Scorpius responds with, “I didn’t much like my life without you in it either.” They are complete when together and incomplete when they are not. It’s in canon.

Delphi told Scorpius, him and Albus belong together and that’s the honest thing anyone has ever said in the entire play because it’s the truth. Albus and Scorpius do belong together and both know it. Albus realized it at the library, a little sooner then Scorpius. They hugged and Scorpius remembered it was the second hug Albus gave him. He keep’s tracks of his supposed friend’s hugs. So friendly, not……..

Scorpius was heartbroken when Albus left him. Why would the script say heartbroken? Surely, other words could have been the choices like devastated, sad, broken, etc…..heartbroken is typically used for couples once a relationship has ran it’s course. Interesting enough, the word was given to Scorpius in a scene where Albus had to let him go. In no way is that coincidental. Again, there is a purpose.

Who can forget the scene with Scorpius and Snape? Snape tells him, “You’re giving up your kingdom for Albus, right?” He even tells him to think about Albus because all it takes is one person and then Lily was brought up into the equation to describe the concept of Scorbus and we know Snape loved her and Lily loved him at one point. That was done on purpose. 

Albus told his dad, Scorpius is all he needs and when Harry attempts to encourage him to talk to other people, all Albus needs is Scorpius. That’s another thing. Neither Albus or Scorpius want to interact with others expect each other. If you’ve paid close attention, they are inseparable and are constantly together. They are joined by the hips.

Scorpius was the one that went to the library to see Albus and in doing so made Albus say, “If she finds us, we will be forced apart forever.” He begged Scorpius to hide inside the invisibility cloak with him to not be caught. I can’t imagine what would have happened if Scorpius didn’t oblige. Professor McGonagall saw them on the map and instead of busting them, she smiled to herself and said, “Well if you are not here, you are not here.” She walked off leaving them there. 

The third hug was in the water, a difficult task and Scorpius still managed to hug Albus. He delivers this line, “You have no idea how glad I am to see you.” He is way too happy to see Albus and was happy. He just went for the hug because he needed it and after such a long time, this is the first time Scorpius initiated a hug which shows they have come a long way. 

Delphi pointed the wand at Albus and he didn’t care whether he lived or died. He told her to do her worse and she pointed the wand at Scorpius to kill him and that’s what frightened Albus the most. She went crucio on Scorpius and Albus begged her to stop and that he will commit to whatever it is she needs him to do because seeing Scorpius at the verge of death and in pain bothered him. It also makes you think. Of all people and everything in his life, Scorpius dying is the worst thing that can happen to Albus.

Finally, we get a fourth hug (second hug initiate by Scorpius) and when Albus said, “What’s this? I thought you said we don’t hug.” And while hugging him, Scorpius says, “I wasn’t sure. Whether we should. In this new version of us I had inside my head.” Well, they are best friends now. So what new version can he possibly mean other then the inevitable boyfriends version? They can only go beyond friendship and not as anything less then a friendship. There you have it. He see’s Albus as boyfriend material.

The play was queerbaiting to the max because after all was said and done, Rose popped in Scorpius’s mind out of nowhere and he formed a fantasy of her even though they only spoke once, had no build up, and were basically dead. She even rejected him and yet we are supposed to believe they are the love story. It was unnecessary. The worst part is, she was only around to force heteronormativity which was beyond abnormal. Albus and Scorpius are the victims. Plain and simple.

There are enough male friendships in Harry Potter and the one and only time two males were undeniably gay based on the evidence in text (far from a friendship) they had to be stripped away from their will to be boyfriends. It was forced upon them. Albus and Scorpius didn’t ask hetero BS to come in between their non friendly love. 

The play should be called: The cursed child, the victims of heteronormativity. I haven’t seen worse queerbaiting in my life. Not making Scorbus canon is despicable, disturbing, disrespectful, homophobic, and horrifying behavior from the writer’s part. 

If the writer’s didn’t want a gay couple and were afraid if they took the risk, no one would watch the live show let alone buy the book, Albus and Scorpius shouldn’t have been written so gay and approved by JKR as such only to be played in the end for no reason at all. The queerbaiting was intentional.

Cursed Child writers reeled the Scorbus fanbase along for the ride in false hope they would become more then a friendship because everything was leading up to that climax and pretend Albus and Scorpius weren’t in love with each other. You can’t erase their history just because your (everyone involved with cursed child) biased writing’s attempt to brainwash us into falling for Albus and Scorpius being straight failed. None of you could have done a worse job. 

In conclusion, the play received backlash because of the writer’s poor decisions, as it should because the stunt that was pulled against Scorbus getting their right ending was cruel and deceitful. Next time if you don’t want gay characters, don’t sink so low to lead the reader’s on and instead, try writing the friendship properly without gay undertones if that was your intention.

ALBUS AND SCORPIUS ARE GAY. YOU MADE TWO GAY CHARACTERS. ACT ON IT. THEY ARE IN LOVE. 

[authorstalker]

My April & May Reads

Mischling, Affinity Konar - Is that not one of the coolest ever author names? Affinity Konar! This was a book club pick, and one of the best things about book club is being forced to read something I’d otherwise avoid. For example: I wouldn’t have chosen to read a novel about twins being experimented on in the Holocaust, but I’m glad I did. I learned a lot, I was deeply disturbed, and the writing is really, really lovely. Plot-wise, it somewhat lost my interest by the end, but everyone in book club thought it was great.

Bridget Jones’s Diary, Helen Fielding - An embarrassing admission: this was my first time reading Bridget Jones! I loved it and I laughed a lot. The weight stuff is insane but this was written in the ‘90s, ya know? Ignore that nonsense and you have a practically perfect romantic comedy.

The Debut, Anita Brookner - The first line of this A+ little book: “Dr. Weiss, at forty, knew that her life had been ruined by literature.” Need I say more? It is ridiculous that I hadn’t heard of Anita Brookner until now (thanks, Kate) because her subject matter is everything I love: sad girls/women, bookish girls/women, sad/bookish girls/women strolling solo along city streets, observing strangers’ happiness. Ugh, I’m obsessed with her. Start with The Debut; it’s depressing and hilarious all at once.

Americanah, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie - I thought this was going to be Serious and Important, but it’s actually a page-turner romance story with a lot of commentary on racism in America. A++++ (except for the last page, which I hated! But the rest of it is completely wonderful.)

Golden Prey, John Sandford - Y’all know I love me some John Sandford, particularly his Prey series. This is the 27th Prey book and I think it’s one of the best. How does he do it?! This time around, the focus is on cyber security and how everything can be or is already being tracked. Technology is cool, technology is terrifying, etc. 

[linandara]

My Last Jedi review

I like how this has been a bit of a "coming out" season: Serious, edicated, professional people suddenly post Star Wars reviews, sometime very critical, and I realise they really care, and are crazy life long fans just as I am.

Here is my contribution. I watched The Last Jedi (TLJ) twice. Discussed it with the family, then read other reviews. I did enjoyed quite a lot of it and may watch it again but my overall opinion is, sadly, negative. Spoilers are coming.

The biggest, greatest mistake is the lack of good strong relationships. Space is cold, but ALL previous Star Wars movies always had plenty of warmth from the the various forms of love and affection: between children and parents (Luke's towards his father, Anakin and his mum, Jyn Erso and her dad), best friends (Han, Luke, Chewie, Lando), siblings (Luke and Leia), teachers and students (Obi-Van and Qui-Gon, Obi-Van and Anakin, Luke and Obi-Van, Luke and Yoda), lovers (Leia and Han, Padme and Anakin). Where are any of these in the new movie?

Whatever was developing between Rey and Finn, Finn and Poe in The Force Awakens (TFA) is mostly forgotten. Rey and Luke are not getting along, which is particularly disappointing. Finding a lost close relative (father, sister) always was a Star Wars shortcut to developing a relationship and strong feelings. Alternatively, people spend years "in the same boat" and have got to the same point, when they knew and cared for each other. Rian Johnson did none of those. It seemed for a while that there was a spark between Rey and Ben Solo but it went nowhere when they parted. A glimpse of something between Finn and Rose was at the very end. A very short heart warming scene with Luke and Leia and that's it. I really liked the moment when Yoda said he missed Luke in his nicely mocking way. But all was just some rare raindrops in a wast emotional desert. Even through Luke had known Obi-Van for a day or so, he was so upset when the old man died. Yet Rey and his own sister didn't spared a tear for him. Like saying "this was for the best".

I really liked TFA and "Rogue One". I was looking forward to seeing TLJ a great deal. Now I like TFA less as its promises went unfulfilled.

Plot holes and apparent disregard for the laws of nature was another blow. Did rebels abolished autopilots? Why did they need to sacrifice pilots with their ships? How they better than the First Order then? Why can the admiral trust her soldiers and explain the situation avoiding a mutiny?

Creating a consistant fantasy reality or suspension of disbelief is essential to fictional stories. Only once before this was broken for me in Star Wars: in the Revenge of the Sith when Anakin turns to the dark side. His downward ark was badly written which was a pity because the first half of that movie was really good and strong. In TLJ this was happening several times! Leia floating in space didn't work. Lots of aliens were badly made (including Yoda himself). I thought we are past this with the modern technology! The "Luke milking an alien" scene was disturbing because in Star Wars it is often difficult to distinguish between intelligent and non-intelligent species. One of the frases Rey said to Luke sounded definitely awful. Why wasn't it retaken? The Luke's face when he was thinking of slaying teenage Ben in his sleep was so wrong, probably because Mark just couldn't believe his character, who saved Darth Vader despite all odds, would do that.

I think, the Luke's last stand and dying scenes were good. Well made, dramatic and original. I think, him projecting through the space rather than being here in person was necessary because he was already too weak to face Kylo Ren. That's the reason he never got back. He appeared to his former student and Leia younger, as he would look like before his exile, because he wanted to be remembered strong, proper Jedi, not a broken old man already dying far away, alone.

I wish it all happened in the next movie because I just have nothing to look forward any more. Unless JJ will have a lot of Luke's ghost appearances - which would be something new for the series. Luke was the most unique and alive character in TLJ. Grumpy, weird, but thinking and feeling. None of the young characters are good enough for me to care. Especially when Rey is now really nobody from nowhere, which is boring (unless Ben lies about her parents). And she is a "Mary Sue", which is boring again. Pity, because she had a good potential to be a great character after TFA. Ben has tantrums, which is funny but I can't take him seriously. Finn, Rose and Poe are just you average token generic good rebels, nothing much to say. They are nice and are played by good actors, but it's not enough. We need true heroes for these movies to work. Luke was a simple rebel character in the New Hope which never was my favourite Star Wars movie. But he grew steeply into a proper wise knight, which was the main point of the original series to me. Rian Johnson made him broken by guilt and fear, destroying everything he had achieved. That I could potentially forgive because he finally redeems Luke and brings my favourite ever fictional character back, when he returns to Leia and confronts Ben Solo. I wanted more so much - but instead he dies.

I really hoped Luke will leave his exile and go on a quest (several quests - even better) together with Rey, his new apprentice for years to come, building a strong relationship, whether they related by blood or not. When I've seen the casino pictures I thought by some reason that this will be one of their destinations, like great scenes with Obi-Van and Anakin, Obi-Van, Han and Luke, Rey and Finn in alien bars. Nope.

As Han dies quite suddenly and frankly pointlessly in TFA, a connection between the generations seems to be unfortunately lost. I think Han should have been very seriously injured but survived his meeting with his son for a better plot.

Lots of plot lines in TLJ lead nowhere. One can say this is what real life is but if the movies will be "nothing in particular happened on that day" what would be the point of watching them? Art is in selecting and prioritising what's matters, in making good stories, not simply copying the mundane.

There was so much of an introduction from Maz for the master code breaker - and then another one chosen. And then it all was unnecessary after all. A silly Rose monologue about evils of arms dealing and revenge on the rich, just to erase all that by showing that the rebels shop for their x-wing fighters at the same casino planet… Incidentally, were rebel generals so overdressed because they were planning to go arms shopping here after the battle? I loved the costumes and the jewellery (even hope to buy some replicas) but it was too much for the rebel situation. The casino planet, as Finn noticed, was beautiful - apart from some badly made aliens. And captive animals suddenly released in the wild are not likely to survive, Rose and Finn! Whole "rebels loose all the time" situation reminded me of Blake's Seven, which I find very depressing.

Were Knights of Ren got to? Phasma was easily killed without any chance to do or to say anything important. Characters which don't enrich the story are not necessary. It's not a tv series, time on the screen is pressious.

The sword battle in the Red room was very good and the way Ben killed overconfident Snoke was, I thought, excellent. Although unfortunately we didn't learn a thing about Snoke.

Unlike many critics I liked the humour in TLJ. Luke winking to C3PO, brushing dust of his cloak and saying to Ben something like "see you around" just before he died was good. The red sand planet was hauntingly beautiful. Riding the huge alien beasts was fun to watch althrough that whole part of the story was pointless. I liked Rey in the "dark side" cave but the scene didn't gave as anything apart from feeling weird. What is the dark side about? What is the attraction?

The movie is criticised for paving the way for merchandise to be sold. Rubbish. I wish me and my friends, teenagers in the Soviet Union, had any merchandise to cherish when we watched the Original Trilogy. Instead we had to stop the videotape and take black and white photos to have at least something.

The music score in TLJ was the worst of Star Wars. Especially painful because TFA and Rogue One scores were so good. Almost no unique tracks to listen, just a mishmash of old tunes plus something reminding totally childish Harry Potter music.

Another big problem is the meaning of good and evil. How Snoke got to Ben? Why did Ben chose the dark side? Why Rey didn't? It is good that Luke admits the Jedi Order's flaws to Rey but why didn't he went to the dark side knowing all that? This is a big problem for the whole Star Wars saga. In real life people do horrible things thinking they are doing good. Nobody "chooses evil side". So Snoke, a vilian for the sake of being a vilian, already was a mistake in TFA. I think it was Aristotel who said that confrontation in a story should be between relatives or former friends to keep us engaged. This is why Luke, Leia or Han are needed to oppose Ben. Unless Rey is Ben's cousin after all. An opportunity for a romance (which would bring some necessary viewer engagement) for those two young people, I think, is already lost as nothing even started so far, after two movies.

TLJ is very entertaining to watch but that's not good enough for Star Wars. For Jurassic Park or James Bond, yes. A Star Wars story needs a strong emotional connection with the viewer and the latest doing lots of thinking about "What is Good?" because of what he sees.

All the flaws were very surprising considering that movies are done by groups of people. Could somebody brave point the mistakes and the weak moments to the director? How so many "professional" reviews ignored them and why?

I hope JJ will rescue the ending of this three parter but not in a way in which the ending of Lost was done, ruining the series! And maybe in a few years time somebody will make good quality CGI movies or an Dragon Age Inquisition/Witcher-like choice game, either set in alternative reality or in between The Return of Jedi and TFA. To give Luke, Han and Leia a bit more screen time they deserve and to reestablish the good proper heroes they originally were.

Saying that, I think all movies, games and books should come with a waring "To avoid disappointment, write your own stories" ;)

So here's the list of Star Wars movies in the order I rate them, from the favourite and much loved ones to the less loved.

The Return of Jedi

Empire Strickes Back

Rogue One

Attack of the Clones

The Force Awakens

A New Hope

Revenge of the Sith

The Phantom Menace

The Last Jedi

Still, I think it's the best film series made so far on this planet and any one is far ahead (in my rating) of other sci-fi, adventure and fantasy movies I ever enjoyed watching. Honestly I tried to find other good stoies and other good heroes many times since I was 15. Maybe I will one day.

[graceivers]

Review #19 - Make Me

Make Me Author: Tessa Bailey Genre: Contemporary Romance Rating: ★★★★½ Recommendation: give it a shot; might read again Summary: Russell has been in love with Abby for a long time but refrains from engaging in an actual relationship with her when he doesn’t believe he deserves her. Abby just wants people in her life to stop ignoring her and making false assumptions about her. She believes Russell to be that person. Or is he?

Female Lead: There are two major things I must mention when discussing Abby as the female lead. The good part? She wants people to love her for who she is. She rarely steps out of line but instead complies so people find her agreeable. That’s relatable. There are a lot of opportunities in various aspects in her life where she can throw a proverbial tantrum or toss money around to make people interact and care about her. Abby does not do that. People at work ignore her because she got her job via nepotism and think she does nothing. Not true at all. But instead of throwing a fit and complaining, she does her job—a very important one that her father and stepmother have all but forced onto her given her father’s issue but at the same time one that everyone else has no idea she’s working so hard to complete. Despite falling in line, I still see strength here. And then, when there’s finally some communication between her and Russell, Abby calls the guy out for basically making decisions for her when all she ever wanted was what they had. The character is strong and courageous in these moments, and that’s what I loved.

The bad part? Abby states it herself: she’s flighty. Not necessarily in the reckless kind of way, but the character is somewhat indecisive, and that didn’t seem to mix well with how I described her above for me. Yes, she is inexperienced when it comes to relationships, and I believe she didn’t necessarily see the signs with her and Russell at the beginning due to that inexperience. But the push and pull on her side—rather than his—was what I had issues with. After’s Russell’s first seemingly rejection where Bailey writes her hurt, she still goes to see him with cupcakes and then gives into temptation with him. And then when Russell leaves her again after they had sex and she’s rightfully mad at him, she still pulls him into her when he goes to see her. Yes, I know you’re attracted to him, but I thought you were mad. I don’t think her actions matched her emotional state. And fine, maybe people’s actions don’t always match up with their thoughts, but this mismatch was disappointing to me because I thought Abby was a better character than that. Everything else about Abby was great—especially when she singlehandedly fixed her family’s business/financial situation—but her flightiness here was disappointing. Male Lead: Oh, Russell. I really liked his character, but there were things about the way Bailey wrote him that… sigh, also disappointed me a little. I understand the way Bailey wrote Russell’s thinking/logic, and I loved that he had this big insecurity of not being good enough for Abby. No, the man does not have to be the breadwinner in a relationship for it to work; it’s the twenty-first century for God’s sake; I’m not getting into this. However, what still struck me was the fact that Russell, as a person, didn’t feel he like he was worthy of Abby. That’s relatable—believing that you’re not good enough for someone because you have nothing to offer. And Bailey really marinates in this idea; it’s what drives Russell to do basically everything he does. Everything is for Abby. He dedicates his work and life to her because he wants to be worthy. He loves her so much that he wants to be better, to do better, to offer her the world. Money issues and bad decisions aside, I personally think that’s pretty noble.

But then there were some things Bailey inserted into Russell’s characterization that were taken too lightly when they were in fact pretty heavy subjects. The fact that he was the one that found his mother after she accidentally committed suicide? And then never got help for it? That’s a huge weight he’s carrying on his shoulders that’s never been addressed, and that’s a little troubling. But what was more disturbing was the little slips Bailey put in there about Russell’s emotional state when he thought he hurt or lost Abby. There are repeated lines that say something along the lines of feeling like his organs and body were being sliced apart and that he wished his heart would stop working. I know this is fiction and Bailey probably didn’t intend for it to be serious, BUT THIS IS NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY. Given the fact that Russell was the one front and center to watch the demise of his mother who battled depression, these types of thoughts shouldn’t be ignored. Yes, Russell doesn’t voice these thoughts, but still. It seems like no one is paying attention to him when they’re all worried about Abby. Poor guy. I felt for him despite his mistakes and am glad he got his happy ending. Plot & Writing: I got to hand it to Bailey, when she writes a book that’s in my wheelhouse of things I like and feel comfortable reading about, she usually delivers. Make Me is no different. She makes sure she paints adequate backgrounds for her leads, so that their actions are generally justifiable. She incorporates some—enough—character development so I’m not left unsatisfied with stagnant and bland leads. She writes relationships with a little desperation, which I am a personal fan of because it heightens the tension between the leads and usually includes a good amount of angst for me to get sucked in. All of that is in this book.

What I loved about this book a little more than the others of hers that I’ve read is that there is a preexisting friendship between Russell and Abby. In the others that I’ve read, the leads just met and there was a lot of lust at first sight and instalove going around. It worked fine in those books because I still believed in those relationships, but I loved that in this one, we know right off the bat that the leads are friends and that Russell is already in love with her. Writing it that way makes me question the ensuing relationship less. And to further help her cause, Bailey really gave us nice examples of how important that relationship between Russell and Abby was even in the friend zone. The friends to lovers trope worked well here.

One thing I did question was the juxtaposition between how concerned and caring Russell was towards Abby and yet the type of sexual relationship they had, which I would not describe as concerned and caring. Russell fits Bailey’s typical hero role as being an alpha male, and I guess his sexual preferences kind of matched that kind of personality. I’m just wondering if that supported the kind of relationship Bailey wanted to portray between Abby and Russell. Honestly, I could see the logic for the way she wrote it as well as if Bailey had written their sexual relationship as more tender. I don’t necessarily have a problem with the way she wrote it; I just found it intriguing that she chose to go that route since it clearly contrasts from how much Russell cares about Abby. Then again, it was stated that he was kind of ‘harsh’ with her due to his sexual frustration. I don’t know… I just thought it was an interesting point… Secondary Characters & Plots: I didn’t read the other books in the series (and I’m not sure if I will), so I didn’t know anything about Abby’s and Russell’s friends. They were fine, cool people. I loved that the guys all had different backgrounds but were good friends. Things like Russell giving Louis a dollar for attorney-client privilege, and Ben going into professor-mode. The girls were good too. They didn’t exactly have definitive personalities here, though they probably do in their respective books. But I’m glad that they were there for Abby, who clearly sorely wanted friends to talk to and people in her corner after feeling so abandoned for most of her life.

Yay for Russell for getting his bank loan! Yay for Abby for being the adult in her family, taking on a huge workload without a single complaint while no one had any freaking clue what she was doing, and basically fixing everything so her father, family, business, and all its employees would be taken care of. Seriously. That’s incredible! That’s what I loved about her character the most. Favorite Part(s): When Mitchell, the lawyer for Abby’s family business, shows up, and Russell takes off his shirt and puts it over her. SERIOUSLY. Everyone else is literally like, ‘who the hell is this and what is he doing here?’ But not Russell. No, his singular thought in that moment is COVER HER UP AND PROTECT HER. That’s it. That’s what I want and need when I’m reading alpha male heroes. Russell’s first and only thought is Abby, and in that moment, not even hesitating to cover her by any means necessary, his protectiveness over her shone so brightly, and it was glorious. Final Thoughts: I was in a reading rut—having started a couple of series, one I couldn’t not finish and the other I’m still working on. So, I decided to cross off another Tessa Bailey book on my list because I knew it would be an easy read that would leave me generally as satisfied as her other books have. I was not disappointed. Make Me is quintessential Bailey—dirty-talking alpha male, a nice dose of angst and desperation, and a fulfilling happy ending. Bailey has become a go-to when I’m in need of a quick read, and this book fit the bill perfectly.