#he's only been with the cullens a short time and still feels very lonely and now this pretty girl likes him

[goldeneyedgirl]

TwiFicmas23 Day 4: Anathema

Today has been a bit of a mess, and now we've had a small change of plans because today's intended fic is missing a chunk.

So we have two scenes from Anathema since @sonyawix asked so nicely. These follow on straight from Alice and Jasper's very awkward and public first meeting; Anathema is so fun to write honestly.

I hope everyone has a good day, and I'll be back tomorrow!

anathema

The car ride home from the meeting was silent, with both Freddie and I mulling over what had just transpired with the Cullens, and exactly what it meant for us.

Because there was one thing we didn’t want anyone to figure out, especially the council. 

And it was the fact that I wasn’t entirely human. I wasn’t just gifted. 

My biological father was a vampire. 

It was practically unheard of, according to Jeannie. Nearly impossible for a vampire to father a child, let alone for the mother to carry the pregnancy to term. And Jeannie had never heard, in all her family’s diaries and archives, of any of the mothers surviving the birth. 

My mom had been no exception. Lilian Brandon-Myer had died within moments of my birth, when I had ripped my way out of her body with her sharp little teeth. The human body isn’t designed to survive that kind of trauma. I keep telling myself that - there was no way anyone could have saved her. It was a damn miracle that she had even made it that far, really. 

I really didn’t know that much about her. She’d been twenty-seven years old, worked at an art gallery, and had been married for two years, to Richard. I had one memory of her, wispy and thin since I was only moments old - wide blue eyes in a thin, pale face; dark hair, and a lot of blood. She was probably already dead. 

My mother had been Freddie’s baby sister, and he had doted on her - I’d heard all the stories, how much he’d adored her. He’d been completely and utterly destroyed when my mother had died. Hell, Jeanie had alluded that she and Freddie had cared for her during her pregnancy, trying to keep her alive long enough to give birth. And then I had been born a freak of nature, growing so much faster than a human baby. They couldn’t dump me on social services when, by my first birthday, I was already the same as a human three-year-old. 

And Mom’s husband had been too… normal to take me, and I’m not sure he’d have wanted to; I was what killed her. He never would have been able to cope with the realities of the supernatural, let alone raising a vampire-human hybrid who aged three times faster than an ordinary child. Jeanie, at least, had one foot in the supernatural world, and generations of family lore and history to navigate raising me safely. 

She always said that she and Freddie had never been blessed with children of their own, so I was their special gift. I don’t know if either of us really believed that but it was a nice sentiment. 

Even my ‘sister’ wasn’t really any relation to me. Cynthia was Richard’s daughter with his second wife, and my one link to the real, normal world. I had no idea how Freddie convinced Rich to let us be raised as ‘sisters’, but I was grateful - I adored Cynthia, and I wish we could have spent more time together. Rich was actually a really nice guy; he called me on my birthday, and sent me gifts, and always told me that I was the spitting image of Mom and she would have been so proud of me. Honestly, everything I know about Mom, I got from Rich; Freddie never spoke of her, and Jeanie always promised she’d tell me more when I was older. 

“What are we going to do?” I asked softly, and Freddie sighed and shook his head. “D’you want me to go to the beach house?”

Freddie and Jeanie raised me in an isolated house near Neah Bay for the first couple of years, to keep me out of sight - Freddie commuted to the funeral home as needed. As far as the Forks’ locals knew, I had come into their custody when I was ‘twelve’; in reality, I was fully-grown at seven years old and was just slight enough to pass as a middle-schooler with a few adjustments - it’s amazing what a too-big dress and a pair of pink plastic glasses could do. I really had looked like a child being raised by an older couple; awkward and unfashionable. 

But we’d kept the beach house; Freddie and I drove up a few times a year to make sure it was maintained and secure. Freddie had gone to no small amount of trouble and expense to make sure that no one knew we owned the property, especially anyone in Forks. It had to stay as a safe house in case everything went sour. 

One thing that Jeanie was intensely aware of was the Quileutes’ history with the Cold Ones, and she swore that they could never, ever know about me. That she didn’t know what the Blacks and the Clearwaters would do if they found out about me. They would certainly argue that we couldn’t function as Mediators, because we couldn’t be impartial when my sperm donor was a vampire. There was a very, very good chance they’d banish me from the reservation, and hold me to the treaty - if not try and run Freddie and I out of town entirely. 

Or even try to hurt me. 

I hated that; the idea that Sue Clearwater - who had done so much heavy lifting in our household after Jeanie died - could turn on me. That Leah and I wouldn’t tease each other, or that I’d never be able to go down to La Push with the twins again. Besides, I was functionally human - I ate, I slept, I bled, I used the bathroom, I wasn’t venomous - Jeanie had run dozens of tests over the years. My heart-beat was faster than a humans, and I ran warm on a good day, but now that I was mature, I was just me. Just Alice Brandon, illegal mortician. 

And Jeanie and Freddie had established so many precautions over the years - Jeanie had avoided feeding me blood as a baby or any sort of meat - raising me as a vegetarian human - and to this day I wonder if that’s why I’m so small, that my growth was somewhat stunted. But it was a choice she made for my best interests, so I couldn’t hold any resentment for that. I had been kept away from other children and most other humans until I was fully grown and could understand the severity of the situation and how important the rules were; and even then, I had dozens of rules about things I could and couldn’t do, so not to ever reveal any similarity to vampires. 

But Jeanie was certain that Sue and Billy Black would basically turn me into a pariah if they ever caught wind of the situation, and she hadn’t wanted that for me. So, we had kept that a secret. We never spoke of it. 

But now that the Cullens were here, everything was at risk - would they know? Would they guess? Had they guessed? Vampire senses were so strong, and perhaps Jasper’s reaction to me had been because of my biology - would my reaction to Jasper Cullen clue anyone in, or could it be hand-waved away by my gift?

And if they did figure it out, would they tell the Council - perhaps use it as a bargaining chip to renegotiate the treaty?

I didn’t know. I couldn’t know; no decision had been made. But I didn’t want to discuss it with them, perhaps negotiate for their silence, in case they hadn’t worked it out. 

Ugh, I hated this so much. I was already mentally packing my bags to hide up in the beach house until we could guarantee I was safe. I’d have to stay there alone; Freddie had the funeral home to run. I’d be lonely and bored and worried, stuck in an old house that was full of ghosts. It was Jeanie’s house, and being there without her… I didn’t like it. 

We pulled up in front of the funeral home and Freddie looked at me. “It’s alright Alice,” he said finally, sounding tired. “We’ll go in and talk to the others, and worry about everything else tomorrow. There’s no need to panic, I promise.”

“I didn’t mean to cause trouble,” I said softly, and we both knew I wasn’t talking about my moment with Jasper. 

“I know, pet, I know.”

//

I made coffee faster than any living being in the world before hightailing it downstairs, to the funeral home’s parlour, where the meeting was happening. Or rather, five adults were having a nuclear meltdown.

“He will not be allowed anywhere near her!” Freddie’s face was bright red as he paced the room. “I want it added to the laws! He’s a damn monster, and I will not lose another…”

“We know, Freddie,” Sue sighed, arms crossed over her chest. “And we agree with you that the Cullens should be informed that Alice is off-limits.”

“But can we do that?” Charlie Swan looked exhausted. “Can he do that? Billy - one of the imprints; could one of the wolves physically stay away from their imprint? Does it work the same way for vampires?”

The Clearwaters and Billy Black exchanged looks. 

“I don’t know about vampires, but no, the wolf could not stay away from their imprint. We’ve seen it attempted before,” Billy said finally. “And most attempts do not last long. We don’t know what a long-term attempt would look like for the wolf or the imprint.”

“Sickness?” Charlie asked. “Feral behaviour? Violence? Madness? Death?”

They all exchanged glances and I decided it was time to make my presence known.

“You’re not going to hurt Jasper?” I asked in my most innocent voice, my eyes wide, and my lip trembling. It wouldn’t work on the Clearwaters, or Freddie - he was too upset - but I knew Charlie Swan wouldn’t be able to deal with a crying teenage girl.

Harry took the coffee tray from me as they all exchanged loaded looks. 

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” I said, sniffling. 

“Calm down, Alice,” Billy said in an even voice. “We’re just discussing our options.”

“I don’t like the idea that keeping them separated could result in violence,” Harry said grimly. “We can’t risk it.”

“But you’re willing to risk Alice?” Freddie exploded.

“He’s not ‘risking’ me!” I yelled back. “No one is! Jasper won’t hurt me!” I looked Freddie in the eye. “You know that!”

“None of us know that,” Freddie shot back. “And I refuse to stand by and let history repeat itself with those monsters!”

“Mom was attacked and raped by Red-Eyes!” I shot back. “The treaty said the Cullens can’t drink human blood! All Jasper wants to do is hold my hand and talk to me!”

Billy Black snorted, and I saw Sue and Harry exchange looks. 

“Alice, he was sniffing your hair,” Sue said slowly. “And the look on his face…”

I looked at her bewildered, and quickly ran through the overflow of visions I’d had. There were a couple that got… well. I would have protested doing that with such a large audience, and it was obvious that his brothers and sister wouldn’t have let him get very far. The fact that that was one of his initial reactions to me was… well, I was a little flattered, to be honest.  

“Oh,” I said, shaking my head. “No, he changed his mind, like, 30 times in less than a minute. That’s why my visions went haywire - my brain couldn’t process that much information that quickly. I think he was doing something, like he w-“

“He’s gifted?” Sue interrupted me. 

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’d have to ask him. In person.”

Freddie was already shaking his head. “Absolutely not.”

“We negotiate. I’m sure the Cullens will be agreeable,” I said soothingly. “Chaperoned meetings, like in the olden days, for my protection. All above board and very G-rated. Hell, we can even sit here in the parlour. Just talking.”

“It would lower the risk of any sort of violence to get to Alice, it’s on neutral territory, and we have no idea what keeping them apart could do to Alice,” Harry sighed. “An imprint can feel the effect of a strained bond, it can take a toll on their long-term health…”

“It’s not happening!” Freddie threw up his hands. 

“Freddie, you need to listen to us,” Sue said, trying to act as peacekeeper. “I don’t know what a mate bond looks like in vampires or how it’s formed, but what we do know that in the wolves, it will actively hurt Alice to be kept away from him - she will get sick.”

“What if it was Leah? Or Jacob and the blonde vampire?” Freddie snapped back. “Or Isabella or Seth? Would you still be standing here, telling me that this is a-a risk I just have to accept? Even without Lilian…” Freddie put his face in his hands and took a shuddering breath. “Would you?” he glared at Sue.

Sue frowned. “That is a totally different situation, Fred,” she said evenly. “I don’t believe our genetics would allow such a bond to form. But if it were Leah, I would do every single thing I could to protect her from harm - the harm of a vampire and the harm of a broken bond. I would not allow my daughter to suffer in such a way.”

Freddie was shaking his head. “No, no, I don’t believe you. And Alice isn’t your daughter. She’s my niece. She’s staying right here. He can stay on the Cullen property! They’re never seeing each other again.”

“No.”

Everyone swung around to look at me, and I caught a look of myself in the mirror over the console table - I didn’t look like myself at all. My expression was hard and mutinous. My voice was stern and flat. 

“I don’t know what’s going on. I can only work through the visions I’ve had. But you cannot stop Jasper Cullen and I from seeing each other,” I said in that same, flat tone. There was a tight feeling in my chest, and all I could think of was that look of naked hope on Jasper Cullen’s face when I protested his brother’s roughness. His voice telling his alpha or father or whatever that I was his. He was also mine. 

Freddie was looking at me in horror, and even Harry was looking a little worried. 

“Alice…” Charlie sounded pained, and Billy had taken to gulping at coffee that he looked like he wanted to throw on me. 

“Better a chaperoned meeting than him climbing in her bedroom window, or running away with her,” Harry muttered and Freddie choked. 

“I promise that I will obey whatever guidelines I am given,” I said carefully. “I won’t hide any relevant information from the Council, or put anyone in unnecessary danger. I don’t know what this is, but I do know that meeting Jasper Cullen was inevitable. I’ve Seen him before.”

I think Sue chose that moment to remember my vision about the gurney, as she turned grey, then red, and then looked like she needed something stronger than coffee. 

“Do you know what happens if you don’t see him again?” Charlie asked.

“No, I don’t. And I don’t want to,” I said frankly. 

Freddie sat on the couch, looking exhausted.

“Someone’s going to need to make decisions for Alice in the Council,” Sue said finally. “Freddie, you’re our Mediator. You can’t be objective if you’ve got Alice to worry about. None of us can do it. And none of the Cullens can do it. We’re all compromised.”

“Ask Dulcie,” I said and everyone looked at me. “She’s been here for years, I think she deserves to be read-in. She can be my guardian ad litem in the Council, and she’d finally understand some of the weirder stuff that goes on around here. Like the limb-bucket.”

Charlie winced at the reminder of that particular incident. 

Freddie sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. “Dulcie’s not a bad choice,” he admitted. 

“Plus, now you’ll have to marry her,” I said cheerfully. “Now, I’m going to bed, so you can finish talking about me without me.” And with that, I headed back upstairs for a hot shower and some sleep. 

[denimbex1986]

'Queer cinema has been an important presence at the Provincetown International Film Festival since it began in 1999. Several past Filmmaker on the Edge award winners, such as Christine Vachon and Todd Haynes, and a trio of provocateurs — John Cameron Mitchell, Luca Guadagnino, and Bruce LaBruce — have created indelible LGBTQ characters and stories. But no past honoree has devoted himself so profoundly to exploring the issues of love, sex, and intimacy among gay men as Andrew Haigh, this year’s Filmmaker on the Edge, who will sit down for a conversation with the festival’s own John Waters at Provincetown Town Hall on Saturday.

Haigh is best known these days for the much praised drama All of Us Strangers, which was released last winter. He adapted the screenplay from a novel by Taichi Yamada. But it feels extraordinarily personal, as its main character, played by Andrew Scott, is a television writer trying to imagine coming out to his parents, who were killed in an accident when he was a young boy. It’s a mysterious and beautifully dreamlike story involving conversations with ghosts (his parents, played by Claire Foy and Jamie Bell) in his childhood home and, in the present, in his mostly deserted apartment building with a neighbor (Paul Mescal) who is interested in him romantically.

Like most of Haigh’s films, All of Us Strangers is about the loneliness of adults living in or out of relationships. “It’s definitely a theme I keep coming back to,” Haigh says. “I think loneliness affects a lot of people. It certainly affects a lot of queer people. We’ve experienced what that feels like growing up in a world where you don’t entirely fit in. That’s a perfect way to create the feeling of loneliness.

“But actually, my films are about how characters try to work through loneliness. They’ve had enough of loneliness. They’re trying to survive it; they’re trying to figure out what it’s about and move forward. My films aren’t about people being depressed. They’re about people taking the next step forward to make things feel better in their lives. Which, I suppose, is the quest of all of us: how to get through the day and make it a little better than the day before.”

All of Us Strangers harks back strongly to Haigh’s 2011 film Weekend, which is about a gay man in his late 20s (Tom Cullen) who works as a lifeguard at a Nottingham public pool, meets up with an artist (Chris New), and spends the next couple of days getting to know him. Weekend was Haigh’s second feature, but it became an international art-house sensation and transformed him into a filmmaker to watch. It’s shot in an almost documentary style, and it’s an intensely close and detailed look at a gay bar hookup with the potential of turning into a romance. It’s a revelatory film that’s still as powerful and accessible as it was when it was released.

Talking about Weekend, Haigh, now 51 with a partner and two daughters, becomes aware of the context in which it was made. “I’m really glad that people still respond to that film,” he says. “It’s been more than 12 years, and so much has changed fundamentally — in terms of queer representation, and what it’s like for us living our everyday lives as queer people. I recently watched a bit of Weekend, and I realized that it’s such a time capsule of how I felt back then. I imagine that a younger audience might feel it’s dated. But at the time it was very pertinent to me. And I think that’s what I’ve always tried to do, especially with queer subject matter — to do what feels right to me, interesting to me, rather than thinking I need to have a message for the queer community.”

Haigh doesn’t only deal with queer subjects, of course. His 2015 film 45 Years, which he adapted from a short story by David Constantine, looks at a married man and woman whose bond of trust is suddenly broken as they’re about to celebrate their 45th anniversary. The film stars Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay and deals with the repercussions that occur when the body of the husband’s old girlfriend is found frozen in the Swiss Alps, reviving memories and feelings and making the wife question how much love actually exists between them. Rampling was nominated for an Oscar for her performance.

Like All of Us Strangers, 45 Years deals with the corrosive influence of the past. “What I’m trying to say in both of those films,” Haigh says, “is not that the past can necessarily destroy us. It’s just there, under the surface. And our ability to be stable in our lives can be thrown off balance so easily. I feel that we live in a world where we try to ignore the past: ‘This is me, I’m in the present, and I’m going to strive forward.’ But that’s not how our lives work. They’re informed by what has happened to us.”

Haigh has created two series for television: Looking, which had a two-year run (2014-2016) on HBO, followed the amorous adventures of three gay men living in San Francisco (played by Frankie J. Alvarez, Jonathan Goff, and Murray Bartlett) and The North Water, a 2021 arctic whaling drama for the BBC and AMC here in the States. He says that working for the small screen took some adjustment for him. So does the current trend toward replacing theatergoing with streaming.

“Cinema is a place to go see nuance, to have real engagement with the audience,” he says. “When I make a film, the idea that it wouldn’t be shown in the cinema is devastating to me. I can’t imagine it just turning up on a streaming site, then vanishing somewhere within that site. I saw somebody the other night watching a movie on his phone! At least watch it on a big TV! I’m at my happiest when I’m watching movies in a cinema.”

Haigh is tremendously excited about coming to Provincetown. “I’ve never been, and I’ve always, always wanted to go. Even in Weekend, [Chris New] has got a T-shirt that says ‘Provincetown’ on it. My partner and I are coming, and I can’t wait.” And then there’s his upcoming interview with John Waters at town hall. “I’m both excited and a little bit terrified,” Haigh says. “John Waters will always be a magical figure in the life of cinema.”

Say Haigh

The event: A conversation with John Waters and Filmmaker on the Edge Andrew Haigh at the Provincetown Film Festival The time: Saturday, June 15, 5 p.m. The place: Provincetown Town Hall, 260 Commercial St. The cost: $30, free with some passes, at provincetownfilm.org'

[tonesplash]

dancing to nothing at all

pairing: edward cullen x fem!reader

warnings: a little over 2k words,inconsistent pov?, friends to pining lmao, cursing, vague highschool sports mention, canon-compliant stalking/jealousy, vague descriptions of partying, underage drinking+ drug use, EMETOPHOBIA WARNING!!, reader is a year above ed and an athlete, i might have coded her, crushes, almost-kisses,im gonna be real this is just highschool fantasy cheese 😭

a/n: like the last full fic posted, this too was written in a day. fuck rome :3( this one was almost gender-neutral i think there's 2 times the reader is gendered I'm sorry )

(Y/n)- Your name (L/n)- Last name (B/n)- Bitch name

He meets you on a game day. You're a year above him, face painted in the colors of your alma mater as you and a majority of the athletic department storm into his lunch period to... start a riot? Maybe? A cacophony of thought storms at the interruption, dozens of uniformed teens flooding in with their noisemakers and megaphones and drowning out any bit of coherency to rally for a game that doesn't start until sundown. Alice had been excitedly watching the door since she’d sat down, ignoring the many messages pinging her phone in favor of waiting for the fanfare. She squeals now, as the crowd parts just right and when he follows her line of sight—

You stand at the center, smiling brightly and laughing with your friends as a chant starts and he can distantly hear the admins and hall monitors filing out of their offices to shut it down, but he doesn't spare them more than a millisecond of thought to watch you. Your body moves hypnotically to the stomps and claps around you, undeterred by your brightly colored uniform. Your (h/c) hair twists with every movement and he can see how delightfully the exertion has flushed your face, and Edward thinks he can feel the warmth of it across the hall.

Your head whips around at the first call for order from the hallway, breaking from the rhythm to push further into the room, your gait completely changed as you break away from the crowd.

The rest of the crowd hadn't caught on yet, still hollering and clapping to another song, but you kept your head down, flawlessly mingling between the lunch-goers as if you didn't bring a tsunami of sweat and adrenaline down upon them all. An adult spots you breaking off from the second floor, knowing very well the only person who could gather a crowd this large before noon. She calls your last name over the banister.

You don't seem to notice, now breaking past the normal lunch crowd to his lonely corner and—Edward braces himself just in time as you push past two loitering lower classmen to slide onto his bench. He tries to hold his breath, but the heat of your thigh is hard to miss with the way your shorts stretch high over the muscle as it presses almost completely to his own. He wonders if you were sent to punish him. Alice smiles darkly at the both of you, picking up her phone for a less-than discreet picture.

“Act natural or I’ll throw bricks at your house.” You deadpan and wink when Alice sniggers behind her hand, flicking the other playfully towards you just as a woman approaches toting a radio and overflowing keyring. Edward eyes the space between the two of you and how her presence seems to roll over you like water off a duck's back.

You pull an apple out of your decorated letterman and prepare to take a bite—

"With me, (L/n). You know the drill." Sandra Simpson, guidance counselor currently on lunch duty, and currently very over seeing your last name embroidered across your back everywhere she turned.

He has to admit the shock and confusion on your face is convincing, and you already look plenty comfortable next to him, all things considering.

"What are you talking about, miss?" Your pretty nose scrunches in barely contained irritation, ready to stomp your foot to escape, but not quite yet, and he appreciates the restraint and finds that most days it's his favorite thing about you.

The older woman waves her fingers in a 'come hither' motion while she signals a varsity athlete off of a tabletop. You remain unaffected, sweeping your jacket off in a wave of perfume and draping it across the table to keep your arms from the cold. You fold them and use one to support your head while you ignore the motion, bored with this conversation already.

"I'm not doing it today, sweetheart, let's go.'"

"What did I do?" Your delivery is flat this time, not as pitchy to really put the 'G' in gaslight as you finally bite your apple. Your foot bounces under the table. A sophomore girl is caught mid-cartwheel a few tables down and another chip bag explodes in lieu of fireworks.

"Oh, so you don't see the foolishness around me right now? Am I imagining that?" She's losing her patience and he can see in Alice's mind—you, home and alone for the first Friday in weeks, and Edward decides immediately that can never come to pass.

"I didn't—" He cuts in before you can implicate yourself, smoothly leaning around you to address the admin and swooning internally when your perfume wafts from your hair and burns his lungs. He carefully articulates when he says your name for the first time.

"Ms. Simpson, (Y/n)'s been sitting with us for twenty minutes, she couldn’t have led them here," Edward says, high and even with eyes so clear and golden, he could have told her she could fly and she’d’ve believed him. He senses a change in tonight's forecast, but he can't bring himself to look just yet.

“I think it was (B/n).” Alice helpfully provides as you stare each other down. You take another bite to drive your innocence home and blink boredly as she purses her lips, the decision already made as she makes an unimpressed noise.

"Next time I see you here, it better be during your lunch, (L/n)." She warns before another crowd passes the double doors, jogging in her pumps to catch up.

You spin so fast to face him that the ends of your hair whip him in the face, but he doesn't mind the sting as long as you keep looking at him like that.

"So, you guys are coming to shake some ass tonight, right?"

He finds out later that Rosalie had been keeping you to herself all this time. That you'd made quick friends the semester before and hang out occasionally in between whatever his family does when they aren't haunting public schools. He asks about you and she scoffs, making a note to text you about it later. The lack of surveillance initially offends his sister, who figured if he had anything to say, it'd have come months ago.

He'd declined, by the way, when you'd asked him to come to the game. It was still early autumn. If he left at the right time he might find a shady spot — He said no to the after-party invitation too, though Alice had gotten the details of the party from you before the period ended. You didn’t seem all that turned off by his indifference either, instead stroking a soft hand over his arm and thank him for his help before leaving him to sit with Alice. She suggests place settings as she goes.

Its hours after the game has ended when he has the gall to seek you out, you're calling your mom from a payphone outside the stadium while your friends wait in a clown car on the curb, swearing across your heart to spend the entire night at (F/n)’s, you promise while twining your hands and ankles behind your back and imagining all the things you were going to get into far away from anyone's home. He imagines what talking to you on the phone would be like, would you also cross your ankles to relieve any giddiness? He can't see himself flustering you, but the idea makes him crack a smile.

Edward knows what the nightlife can be, better than most, he likes to think. So, being safe, he trails the overstuffed sedan further and further from home until you are too many towns down and dangled by your ankles by some loud little boys who don't even know your last name. They could at least keep your hair off their shoes.

It makes him seethe with something dark and green for the first time in a while, but he has the decency not to ruin your night— lets you finish the keg and wipe your chin with your shirt before they set you right side up again, the cheering crowd hitting an all-time high before dying again to music and conversation.

You stand there for a second, swaying in place like you’d forgotten what you were doing. Someone claps you on the shoulder, and when you look up, he thinks you're too drunk to notice him through the crowded living room and blinding lights, but you do, (e/c) honing in on widened gold as you push through more drunk party-goers to approach him. He can smell the spiked punch. It practically rolls off your heated skin in waves, and there are bits of confetti tangled in your hair. His hand unthinkingly reaches for the blue bit near your eye and does his best to pretend he didn't put it in his pocket.

You smile dumbly at him, losing your train of thought again before rebooting, batting your lashes, and pinching the shirt Alice told him you’d like between your shiny nails.

“This is really nice, is it boyfriend material?”

His initial response is to frown and deflect the question, but it makes your brows scrunch in a pout at the soft rejection. That fraction of displeasure on your face at his response makes something in him explode.

In that second, he isn’t dead and damned, cursed to sin and steal and kill—

He is just someone who likes a pretty girl. A pretty girl who invited him out, and probably wouldn't do it again if he screwed this up. You would need a ride home, anyway.

Edward has never hated himself more for what he's about to do. He leans closer and flashes his pretty teeth and you mirror it, forgiving the snub entirely.

“Sorry, I don’t believe in love at first sight. Can you do that again?”

Talking with you is easy, Edward thinks. He can see how you could befriend even Rosalie by the way you speak, your body moving animatedly as you make something he’s witnessed before sound like the word of God. You’re the life of the party, and no matter how often he pulls you away for more private chats or dances, someone or something always comes creeping up to bask in your light along with him.

When you ask something of him, he can’t help but relent, saying things he knows he shouldn’t, but you're just so warm and light he can’t help but let the words flow freely. He does as much as he can to keep you talking, bringing your drinks and snacks upon request and at some point, a thc battery that loosens you up that much more, the last stress of the night falling from your shoulders in a serene moment before you cough violently, nearly throwing yourself off the bathroom counter he'd convinced you to steady your legs on.

“Is this boyfriend material?” You ask again, this time in the quiet of the backyard after you’d snuck out in another bid for privacy as you sway slowly in each other’s arms. He’d thought you’d fallen asleep when your arms slipped from his shoulders, but your breathing isn’t even enough. You aren’t far off, though.

Edward knows he shouldn’t be here, he should be at home chasing a deer, or something, not here, holding an absolutely blasted human girl in his arms, who is very soft and warm and feeling more and more like home-

He stops the slow circles you’d been turning, and when you lift your head to ask what's wrong, he can’t help but admire the way your hazy eyes shine in the moonlight, makeup lost somewhere on the third couch of the night. Your hair sticks to your skin in some spots, nothing near the state you'd had it in this morning, but he thinks he's seen nothing more beautiful as his hand leaves your waist to cradle your face, your eyes sliding shut in contentment before focusing again, this time on his lips.

While he would love to indulge you, your stomach gurgles once in warning before he’s aiming you away from his shoes and over the deck. You thank him later, but for now, you silently wipe your mouth and stare at the soiled grass as if it’d asked for a sample.

Your eyes are unfocused again, but this time they’re glassy with embarrassment as you wait for the earth to swallow you whole. Edward doesn’t catch your discomfort at first, instead just guiding your shaky form over to the patio set a few feet behind you. It’s the way you sit that sets him off, stiff as a board, and then all at once on yourself as you sniff pathetically.

“We lost, by the way.” You croak. He can hear you already from where he stands, but he pulls up a chair to listen quietly as you confess your sins into the muggy night air. At some point, you sit up and reach for his hand where it rests on his knee, his unbeating heart soaring when you are unfazed by it's coolness as you watch the stars.

He thinks you’re too harsh on yourself, that the calm you feel in a room full of people looking your way is well deserved because you are kind, and smart, and the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. He hadn’t realized he’d been talking to himself until the text came through on his watch.

ALICE: that was great! maybe look at her next time? 😋

He turns at the waist to find you knocked out against the metal chair, head against your shoulder at a harsh angle and features softened in a way he’s never seen by sleep and the lilac of the early morning sky.

Edward knows you won't remember tonight, but he still tucks you under plenty of covers and kisses your hair before the sunlight can reach your window.

[troquantary]

Edward Cullen: That Boy Ain’t Right

So I was doing a reread of @therealvinelle 's collection of Twilight metas, as one does, and in "Edward, Denial, and a Human Girlfriend" she mentions that she doesn't believe Edward is sane. I thought, "ha, yeah, he's definitely not," and also, "but wait, what does that mean exactly, please say more about that." But since she's already inundated with asks, I've decided to use my own head-muscle and explore this idea. (TL;DR: I start out more or less organized, synthesize some points Vinelle has made across several posts (and have hopefully linked to them all where relevant but please tell me if not), touch a little on narcissism, then take a hard left into the negative effects of being a telepath.)

Just a couple things to note at the outset, though. Theses have been written already (probably) about Edward as an abuser. Edward being insane doesn't negate that at all; he's definitely an asshole and just...a disaster of a human being. (I find it more funny than anything, but YMMV.) I'm also going to try to avoid talking specifically about mental illness and how it relates (or doesn't relate) to abusive behavior -- that's territory I'm not really equipped to discuss, like at all. My starting point is "Edward has a deeply warped perception of reality," not "Edward has X disorder."

So: deeply warped perception of reality. The evidence? Goes behind a cut, because my one character trait is Verbose.

Vinelle provides a great example of it in the post linked above, which I'll just quote because she does words good: "[Edward] keeps acting like his romance with Bella is a romantic tragedy, and all the cast of Twilight are actors on a stage making it as sublime as possible." Edward's the one to pursue Bella, but he does so with the full belief, from the very beginning, that it will never last; Bella will "outgrow" him, go on her human way, and he can spend the rest of eternity brooding magnificently over his too-short romantic bliss. [Insert premature ejaculation joke.] Turning her is never an option, even though Alice, Noted Psychic, says that romancing Bella will either end with her dead (exsanguinated) or dead (vampire).

This framing, where he's a dark anti-hero in love with -- but never tainting! -- the pure maiden and eventually leaving her in a grand, tragic sacrifice to preserve her soul? It's fucking bonkers. Bella isn't a person to him in this scenario. As Vinelle points out, Bella's never really a person to him at all; he falls in love with his own mental construct, cherry-picking from what he observes of her behavior and her responses to his 20 (thousand) Questions to convince himself that she is the ideal woman.

Bella's not the only one who gets the projection/cardboard-cutout treatment. Edward sees everything and everyone through a highly particular, personalized lens. He filters his entire reality, which we all do to an extent, but the thing with Edward is that he starts with his conclusions and then only pays attention to the evidence that supports those conclusions. Often that evidence consists of what he admits in New Moon are only "surface" thoughts -- but recognizing that limitation doesn't keep him from taking those thoughts as representative of what people are. Edward then becomes absolutely convinced by his own "reasoning" and won't be swayed from what he has decided is Objectively True. It's obvious with Bella; it's also painfully obvious with Rosalie. (Vinelle explains this and brings up Edward's raging Madonna/Whore complex in the same post, so refer to that again -- she's right.)

He also catastrophizes. Everything. Bella's just vibing in her room, rereading Wuthering Heights for the 87th time? She's gonna be hit by a meteor, better sneak into her room while she sleeps. Bella's going to the beach with the filthy mundanes their human classmates? She's gonna fall in the ocean. Jasper's cannibal pals are stopping by for a visit, but know not to hunt in the area? DISASTER, DEFCON 1, ALSO FUCK YOU JASPER FOR EVEN EXISTING IN MY AND BELLA'S SPHERE YOU UNSPEAKABLE BURDEN. Edward must believe that Bella is vulnerable and in near-constant peril, to support the reality he has created in which he is the villain turned protector and maybe?? hero??? (!!!) for his beloved. So when the actual, James-shaped danger arrives, he goes berserk, snarling and flipping his shit and generally not helping the situation. His fantasy demands that Bella remain human, so instead of doing the very thing Alice, Noted Psychic, assures him will neutralize the threat (and not just a threat to Bella, either, but to Bella's family and any other human James might decide to include in the "game"), he vetoes it immediately, no discussion. Bella Must Not Turn, and he sticks to those guns despite James nearly reducing her to ground beef, despite leaving Bella catatonic with depression (but human! success!) in New Moon, despite Aro's order and his family's vote and, let's not forget, Bella's clearly and repeatedly stated desire to be a vampire. It's going to happen. But he doesn't accept it until Renesmee busts out of Bella like the Kool-Aid man and the poor girl's heart finally, unequivocally stops.

Sane people don't behave this way. I don't want to slap labels on Edward, but I can't help but note that he comes across as highly narcissistic. He's the only real person in his universe, the lone player among us NPCs. That probably has a lot to do with him being frozen in the mindset and maturity of a seventeen-year-old boy, but I think it's also just...him, on some fundamental level. His failure to connect with others and recognize them as full, independent beings with their own wants and priorities isn't like Bella's failure -- she's badly depressed. Edward is...something else, and I get the sense that his sanity has been steadily deteriorating over time. And a cursory google of narcissistic traits turns up some familiar-looking stuff. He's self-loathing, yes, but also grandiose; he hates himself for the monster he is (and hates most vampires besides Esme and Carlisle for their monstrosity, too) but still feels superior to humans, to the extent that he felt entitled to human blood and resented Carlisle for depriving him of his "proper" diet. He eventually returns to Carlisle, but he's far from content -- the beginning of Midnight Sun finds him in a state of ennui, bored and dismissive of (if not outright disgusted by) everyone around him, that has apparently persisted for years and years. He doesn't play the piano, he doesn't compose, he doesn't enjoy anything...at least until Bella comes along and then he becomes obsessed to a disturbing degree with her and his new, romantic tragedy spin on reality.

[Next-day edit: I’m not sure where else to fit this in, but the way Edward casually contemplates violence against people who have, at best, mildly annoyed him is...chilling. I have a hard time writing off his strategizing how to murder the entire Biology class as a result of bloodlust -- it’s so calculated, nothing like the blackout state of thirst Emmett describes when he encountered his own “singer,” and that is probably the default for when a vampire is extremely thirsty. But even ignoring the Biology class incident, Edward still does things like consider, with disturbing frequency, how he might grievously injure or kill Mike Newton, all because...Edward considers him his romantic rival (despite Bella barely giving the kid the time of day). He thinks about slapping Mike through a wall, which might be an amusing slapstick image, except as a vampire Edward’s actually capable of turning this boy’s skeleton to a fine powder. So it’s, y’know, kind of sick when you think about it.

But even worse than that, when Bella tells Edward about how she flirted with Jacob to get at that sweet, sweet vampire lore, Edward chuckles and then, after dropping Bella home, flippantly observes that now that the treaty’s broken, why not genocide? I’m not even kidding, it’s right there in Midnight Sun; he seriously thinks about the fact that he’d be technically justified now in wiping out the entire tribe because a teenager tried to impress a girl with a spooky story. That is fucked. Remember, Edward was there with Carlisle when the treaty was first established. He knows how remarkable it is that they even came to a truce in the first place, that it was only ever possible because Carlisle is...well, Carlisle, and that it marks a pretty significant moment in supernatural history. He doesn’t care; he doesn’t respect it, or he’d never think something like “Ha ha, if I went and killed them all, I wouldn’t even be wrong. I mean, I won’t do it, but I’m just saying, I wouldn’t be wrong.”

Again: not the thought process or behavior of a sane person. (Or a person that respects life in general -- sorry Carlisle, big L.)]

Finally, whether he's a narcissist or not, I think the fact that Edward has constant, unavoidable access to everyone's thoughts is a powerful contributing factor to his instability. He can tune out the mental noise to an extent, but he can't stop it -- so he comes to rely on it like another sense. This causes issues with disconnect and lack of empathy, of course, but there's another facet to this shit diamond: he's basically experiencing a ceaseless flow of intrusive thoughts. His narration in Midnight Sun suggests that he "hears" the words people think, can "see" what they visualize in their mind's eye, and can sense the emotional "tone" and intensity of their thoughts. Therefore, perceiving Jasper's thirst through his thoughts makes Edward more aware of his own, "doubling" the discomfort. This would be a lot to deal with even from just his immediate coven members, but Edward gets all of this pouring into his head like a firehose on a day-to-day basis because the Cullens live right alongside humans. I know Meyerpires have galaxy brains or whatever, but that's a ton to process.

Besides the compounding effect on his own thirst when he "feels" the thirst of others, Meyer never suggests that Edward has difficulty separating his own thoughts from other people's; even when he was newly turned, he recognized Carlisle's "voice" in his head as Carlisle's. That would create a whole different host of issues around identity, but it looks like Edward's escaped that particular torment. However, I can easily imagine that what he does experience is just shy of unbearable nonetheless, with an eroding effect on his sanity over decades. He can't sleep to escape it; he's on a dishwater diet and probably (like the rest of his family) experiencing a perpetual, low-grade physical discomfort due to his thirst never being fully satisfied; and he's around far more people than is the norm for vampires -- even discounting all the humans, his own coven is unusually large -- meaning more noise.

Honestly, it would be weirder if he were all there, considering.

And even though I feel like I lost a sense of structure around where I started ranting about telepathy, I've written like 1.5k words about Edward fucking Cullen and I think that's enough for one post.

[therealvinelle]

Carlisle wouldn’t want to be human

This really goes for most of the Cullens, Rosalie excepted (I think Edward would last one day without his telepathy and superpowers before this happened (well honestly I think his denial would keep him from ever admitting this but this isn’t an Edward post so we’re cutting this thought short right now before it spirals)), but I see both Edward and general fandom just sort of take it for granted that if anyone offered Carlisle a miraculous human again pill (and I’m just picturing that as some hokey pill being sold on ad TV) he’d praise Jesus and swallow that down immediately, and I’ve to see anybody argue with that so here I go.

First of, if Carlisle were to suddenly find himself human again I have every belief that Aro would materialize and go, “My dear Carlisle has been made a human? How tragic! Never fear, old friend, I’ll fix that for you. Om nom nom.” and then Carlisle would not be human. And I’m only half joking when I say that, because Carlisle has a lot of friends, and while his animal diet is all well and good, if he were to actually do something like this they’d be very sad his human obsession has gone too far and stage an intervention. “We’re doing this because we love you, Carlisle. Now please try not to be too delicious. Om nom nom.” And then we’re back to Carlisle being a vampire again, though with slightly longer hair this time.

More seriously, if Carlisle was offered this miracle pill, then as a doctor he’d probably be less than enthused about it. He was there to see what happened to the Native Americans when the Europeans came carrying brand new disease, and after viruses and bacteria have had 350 years and a globalized planet to evolve, our seventeenth century priest is going to be in trouble. He’s unvaccinated to boot. He also has a completely different intestinal bacterial flora than modern humans do, which I imagine would not be fun for his digestion. This guy would be a sickly, constipated mess.

As for the main reason - why would Carlisle ever want to be human?

Before he’d mastered his thirst, then he’d probably feel obligated to. For as long as he hadn’t mastered it there was always the risk of him losing control and killing somebody. In his early days he certainly would have jumped on the chance. But none of this is a problem anymore.

So, to take the reasons why he wouldn’t say yes in the present day - first of, why would he not want to be a vampire? He is past worrying about his thirst. His vampirism is at this point purely an asset to him. It makes him great at his job. All his friends and family are vampires. If he were to become human again, he’d not just suddenly suck at his job (as I imagine he has incorporated his super senses into his work to the point where he would pretty much have to learn everything anew if he still wanted to be a doctor), his brain would be slow and limited, and he could never see his cherished friends, people he has known for centuries, again. He’d have to start over with another fake identity in a new place, and sure, this time he could stay until he died of old age, but he’d still be lying to everybody he met about his identity. Carlisle is very much a social butterfly, and he’d be unable to form meaningful friendships when he could never get truly personal with anybody.

In other words, Carlisle would be signing himself up for a lonely life of being average if not bad at his work. And his work is incredibly important to him.

Then there’s the fact that as a doctor, modern viruses aside, when it comes to health problems Carlisle has seen it all. He would know better than everybody that even if the modern viruses don’t make him a sickly mess, even if he doesn’t join the statistics of people who die in tragic accidents, he could still get a brain aneurism at the age of 24 and his human LARP is over. And who knows, maybe he had some nasty disease lurking in his DNA just waiting to ruin his life had he lived long enough, such as ALS. But assuming that Carlisle says “I’LL RISK IT”, even if he makes it to an older age, aging is no joke. Dementia, gout, incontinence, the general and inevitable decline of his body - this is the looming shadow hanging over all our heads. For an immortal who has seen countless humans succumb to it, why choose this?

And for what?

So he could have kids of his own, presumably with Esme?

He has a whole family. Rosalie and Edward especially are his children. Just, this guy loves his whole family so much, I can’t imagine he’d throw them aside in favor of some faceless toddler concept. I also don’t think he’d even want kids of his own, but I think that’s for another post. And also mostly a vibe.

So he could grow old with Esme?

Again - why? She’d be just as much an outcast as he, and face all the same health risks (except I suppose for the modern viruses, she hasn’t been dead for that long). I can’t imagine he’d want to sit idly by and watch her either die ahead of schedule, or live long enough to become unable to care for herself.

Then there’s the fact that at most he’d have six or seven decades. To him, that’s just the blink of an eye. And, again, a very unpleasant blink where he loses everything, is less intelligent, and slowly dies.

Lastly there’s the fact that the human he was is dead, his time has passed. Carlisle doesn’t belong in the human world any longer. He interacts with it because helping humans gives him joy and meaning in life, but he’s a man out of his time and this brave new world is not the one he once lived in. He would not in any way belong, and I think he knows that quite well.

Just, the whole idea that Carlisle would want this is founded on Carlisle having some sort of innate worship of humans where being human is inherently better. I’m sorry, but that’s Edward. If Carlisle felt this way, he wouldn’t be turning others into vampires, and he wouldn’t have vampire friends all over the globe. To him, thirst isn’t a problem, and his vampirism means he can save more humans than he otherwise would. The remaining concern would be God, but Carlisle’s life philosophy is that being a vampire is not by itself a sin, so he’s fine in that regard too.

In summation, I think Carlisle is quite happy being a vampire, and wouldn’t have it any other way.

[justcallmenikki7]

BTS Reaction To: Boyfriend Moments

Twilight!Au & Imprint!Au

Hyung Line

Summary: cute moments with your protective, goofy, werewolf boyfriend

Warnings: twilight/imprint!, mates, cutesie shit, badboy!hobi, protective hyung lines, sassy seokjin, jin roasting a girl, sad?insecure?reader?, namjoon’s part is pretty emotional and the reader is depressed/distressed? I don’t know how to explain it. min yoongi being whipped for read. I think implied d/s relationship for both yoongi and hobi’s part. Oh, hobi being whipped 10000000%%%

W.C.: 2.17 k

Notes: I don’t know why namjoon’s turned emotional but it did, I guess I wanted to show the emotional side/connection that the imprint bond brings in the relationship. Also, in this on yoongi’s and hobi’s part, I tried to dabble in the d/s theme a little bit… I hope that is okay? I’m trying to expand my writing a little bit!!

Kim Seokjin:

Too be honest, and you are saying this with all of your heart, your boyfriend, or imprint, is one of the most extra person ever.

And also, one of the sassiest person, or werewolf (besides Jungkook and Taehyung), ever.

It is very entertaining though, especially when someone pushes his buttons when it comes to cooking, sense of humor, or and most especially, you. When someone, especially women with no boundaries, he is defending you until his death. There are times when certain, rude, women try to flirt with Seokjin (because have you seen the man?), and they purposely try and act that you are not even there. So, Seokjin, being himself, brings you into the conversation.

And that is one the one thing that you love about the man, he makes sure and puts his paw down by showing you off to that woman.

An example would be right now.

The pack and the imprints are at the local bar, or night club, and are enjoying the Friday night that Namjoon had allowed due to the victory of defeating the newborn packs with the Cullen’s. Everyone is dancing with their imprint and are having a blast, but you and Seokjin are relaxing at the bar, not feeling the dancing spirit like everyone else is. You are cozied up into Seokjin’s side, loving the protectiveness and warmth that only wolves and their imprints get with one another. It is very peaceful and nice, especially with the two young ones making a scene by dancing like idiots and having dance offs with one another. The looks that both of their imprints are making to one another is having you giggling, the look of embarrassment that is mixed with adoration warms your heart.

“Well, you look lonely,” a woman’s voice purred, knocking you out of your thoughts.

Shifting in your boyfriend’s embrace, the first that you see is a older woman, who in your opinion is beautiful, is ogling your boyfriend, clearly ignoring his hold on your waist (which is now gripping it).

“I’m clearly not,” Seokjin commented, his tone is as if he is talking to a peasant. “If you have not noticed, I am with my lady,” Seokjin spoke, making you blush.

“Well, she is not that entertaining since you seem bored. I think I can help you with that boredom,” shocking you to the core due to her insinuation. You cannot believe she just said that with you standing right in front of her.

Seokjin right away sensed your discomfort and down mood, knowing that you want to speak up but cannot due to your anxiety. Sighing, “It is a shame that some women do not follow the girl code…” he began, “But also have, you need to realize that throwing yourself at someone does not look good on you, sweetheart, desperate does not suit you.” And with that, Seokjin grabbed your hand, pulling you towards the other end of the bar, “Come on, love, let’s go someplace else.”

You still think that you do not deserve Seokjin, and as if hearing your thoughts, Seokjin squeezed your hand a little harder, and pressed a kiss to your forehead. And that is all of the confirmation and comfort that you needed.

Min Yoongi:

Some people found it very adorable on the dynamic that you and Min Yoongi, your imprint and werewolf boyfriend, had. It was never a bad view on your relationship, in fact, it was the best view that you believe people had on it.

To the outside world, Min Yoongi was the cold, reserved, grumpy, or in Stiles Stilinkie’s term, “sour wolf,” person. The reason why people viewed this is because they can never see the adoring smile that he held for you out in public, but you can see it and the pack can see it. Yes, it may look like a blank face, but only those who know him can see the twitch at the corner of his lips and the head-over-heels look in his eyes.

“Please?” You whined, pouting at your boyfriend in the candy store at the mall, wanting to get some more snacks.

“No.” Your boyfriend grunted out, trying to not fall into the trap of giving into your adorable puppy (lol) eyes.

Stomping your foot, earning a look from your boyfriend, “But why?” You asked in a cute, whiny, tone that made Yoongi melt along with his wolf.

But, not liking the stomping of the foot that you made, he gave you a daring look. “Don’t stomp your foot at me, princess.”

Looking down at your feet, you slumped your shoulders, realizing that you were not able to get candy because of the orthodontist explaining that you have been having too many sweets, especially with your braces, and that you need to cut back on them. But! In your defense, you have another four months that you will not see them, so you can start cutting back on next Monday! Knowing that your boyfriend is very protective and always is very concerned for your well-being, he takes these kinds of things very seriously – even having a nightly flossing schedule that you both do every night.

Hearing the defeated sigh that held sadness with it, both Yoongi and his wolf can not and will not stand the thought of knowing how devastated you are. Sighing himself, Yoongi wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest and pressed several kisses that earned your giggle, a sound that brought joy to him and his wolf. “You can have a little bit of candy, but this should last you several weeks because we cannot have you sick off of candy and running around like a hyper bunny.” Yoongi bargained, a bargain that you agreed to and happily chose the candy that you wanted.

Yoongi only forgot that a little to you is three bags of candy – he just could not be mad.

Jung Hoseok:

One thing that the pack was for sure about when it came to Hoseok whenever you were not near him, was that he was constantly texting you. Now, this did not upset them at all, in fact, they were happy to see their hot headed, angry, but caring pack member happy. When you and Hoseok first met, they knew that it was going to be a long journey of finding your guys meeting points. But, the whole time it was worth it because they got to see their brother become a better person and a happier person.

Anyways, Hoseok was currently texting you, a small smile on his face, but a serious expression apparent. Everyone was out at the beach, a bonfire put on by the maknae line, wanting a fun Saturday night. You were showing up with your cousin, inviting her with you to the groups hangout since she was in town for the next few days. You felt your phone buzzing with texts from your boyfriend, the feeling of your heart doing flips with just the thought of your lover. Pulling out your phone, you smiled at the message.

           Hobi: when will you be here? I miss youuu

Smiling at the sentiment, the one thing that Hoseok will ever show you and not anyone else. He only acts like a whiny puppy with you, always wanting to keep his cool front on in front of everyone else. But you have began to notice that he has started to let his walls come down in front of his pack.        

           You: almost there! I cant wait to see you!!

When you and your cousin showed up at the bonfire, the first thing that your cousin noticed was that the man who had a stony expression and a powerful aura surrounding him that screamed danger stood up from the chair, making their way to you. She could see the way your body lit up, smile shining so brightly that it made her smile also. The look of love and adoration was what surprised her when she saw it shine on the males face.

Ah, that is the Hoseok that you were talking about.

When Hoseok reached you, he brought you into a short, but sweet kiss. The both of you did not want to pull away, but having respect and liking to keep that part of your life to yourselves anyways. Hoseok wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side protectively before realizing that he has yet to meet the cousin you have been talking about for the past week.

“Oh!” You gasped, bringing Hoseok’s attention solely to you (as if it was not already on you). “Hobi! This is my cousin, Linda! She’s the one I’ve been telling you about! Linda! This is Hoseok, my boyfriend!” You introduced the two happily.

Linda could see the smile that was brought onto Hoseok’s face so easily, jealousy slightly burning at that. She wished for something like you and Hoseok, especially from everything that you had told her about. She knew that Hoseok took great care of you.

“It is nice to meet you, Hoseok.” Linda spoke kindly, smiling at him.

Nodding his head, a kind small smile on his face. “You too, miss.”

“Let’s get food! Linda! Come, come!” You made sure to not leave your cousin alone since she is new here. “Hobi! We forgot an extra chair. Is there one that we can borrow for Linda?”

Not giving it another thought, Hoseok leant down and kissed your forehead before taking off to find a chair. As if on a mission to find gold, Linda watched your boyfriend search for a chair, realizing that you, his girlfriend, did not realize how your boyfriend would fight through hell if it meant to make you happy.

You truly are the luckiest girl, ever.

Kim Namjoon:

If there is one thing that Namjoon is for sure about, it is knowing you like the back of his hand. Now, he is not saying this just to say it, he is saying it because it is true. Ever since he met you at the farmer’s market, accidentally bumping into you, he has observed you every minute that he is with you. He knows your little quirks, your dislikes and likes, wants, and your favorite terms. He knows that you hate burning hot chocolate milk, so he makes sure it has cool down just enough to still be warm, but cool enough to where you have to blown on it to where it is not burning your tongue.

Another thing that he knows is that you have moments where you are completely down. It is as if a switch got switched off, making you completely emotionally vulnerable, the one thing that you are needing is comfort and his attention – but you hate asking for help. You are completely stubborn, hating to ask for comfort and his time because you know that he is busy with the pack. But, what you do know is that Namjoon knows when these times happen. They happen once you are completely happy, having no worries in the world, but once you get home, you shut down because you believe that you do not deserve happiness. Why? Because in your past, every time you had a good day, or feel happy, and something snatches it from you. Something like a text from a friend that sounds mad, but you know in the back of your head that you cannot read emotions over text. Or, your mother snapping at you for something that was out of reach. It has, and Namjoon knows that this will always happen, but that is okay, because he knows you and he loves you.

So, once you opened the door from a night out with your friends, Namjoon can sense the sudden wave of sadness from you. He could feel it once you left the bar, a imprint bond perk that he loves so he knows what to do, and he could feel your distress from a mile away. The distress being your questioning of whether or not you deserve happiness. And as you are taking off your heels, Namjoon comes up behind you, helping you take them off by kneeling down and unzipping them for you.

You stare down at your boyfriend with tears forming in your eyes, suddenly crying, but Namjoon this from your heartbeat beating a little faster. Standing up, Namjoon wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you into him, the both of you relaxing at the touch of one another. Breaking down, you clutched onto him tightly, fearing that he will disappear on you.

“I don’t know what happened, everything was perfect and I had a good time—” you were cut off by your sobs, face nuzzling into his neck, the familiar sent of him helping you calm down.

“I know baby, I know. It is okay, I’m here, I’m not leaving beautiful.” He promised, kissing you the side of your head. “You’re okay, you’re okay.”

[twilitty]

Waiting pt.3

Waiting

@twilitty​

part 3/?

word count: 2.2k

warnings: none

read this first! Edward explores what is causing his wife to act so detached.

Edward was paralyzed with fear. It was a similar feeling to when he watched himself nearly drain Bella of her blood after James had bitten her. The feeling when Jasper nearly attacked and killed her. It was the feeling of a broken man who has now broken another person. He was a porcelain doll with cracks along his figure, and the beautiful, fragile doll next to him gets knocked over by some force that he’s caused. 

Bella has been acting differently, more than should be expected after beginning her new life. She’s been unusually distant, taking her vehicle to Port Angeles and not telling him why. She chooses to hunt on her own in the mornings, but Edward knows that she is not only hunting. He can smell her trail when he goes out later in the afternoon, she takes a long route and ends up by the stream bed. No blood along the trail at any point, no scent of an animal she’s killed. 

When Nessie is asleep she hands her off to Edward or Rose. When Nessie wakes up she’ll play momentarily before claiming to have forgotten to do something. It’s as if she shows no interest in her daughter, and why? She had chosen to have this child, chosen the child's life over her own. And now she seems disinterested in every aspect of her life.

This burning, paralyzing fear is what pulled Edward out of his home that evening. Entrusting his daughter to her more than willing aunt and uncle, he went to the treaty line. 

Standing at the edge now his thoughts run circles around his feelings, taunting him and scaring him. Telling him he’s an awful father and husband, that he made a mistake when he chose to pursue a future with Bella. But what about my daughter? Regardless of his feelings towards his wife, he has to agree that his daughter was the best possible outcome. 

All he had wanted was a future with his love, a future where him and Bella could live in peace. And they were given a beautiful daughter, warm brown eyes and red unruly hair. If he had to choose to go back in time and remain away, could he? I can’t imagine a life without her, he thinks mourningly. His daughter is his whole life, he spends every moment he can with her, he enjoys nothing more than being a part of her life. 

When she smiles at something he’s done it’s as though his heart will simply burst. He cannot abandon his daughter, there is no reality where he can imagine ever doing so. His wife may be unhappy now, she may be secretive and reclusive, but that is a worthy price for bringing him his beautiful daughter. 

“What do you want, old man?” It’s Jacob Black, standing on the other side of the treaty line. He’s in what likely used to be jeans but are now sliced along the thighs unevenly creating an unflattering pair of shorts. His chest is bare, as it always seems to be, and his hair is braided in two strips that fall over his shoulders. He had gotten Edwards' text.

After the birth of Nessie, Bella had appointed Jacob as the godfather, which very few found endearing. This sentiment had brought Jacob closer to the Cullens, often he would be found running perimeter around the family home or bringing new toys and clothing to the little girl. He wears a necklace around his neck that she had assisted in making for him.

It’s a pink shoelace with orange, yellow, and red beads laced through it. It was part of an arts and crafts project Jacob had brought over. He wears it constantly. It’s long and hangs down over his stomach so that when he shifts he can still wear it as a wolf. 

Now, Jacob plays with it absently as Edward regards him with pressed lips. “Alright, bloodsucker, let’s spit out your words,” Jacob thinks with little sympathy. It’s a major blow to the vampire's pride to even broach the topic with this man, and knowing that the entire pack will soon hear about it does little to ease his conflicting emotions. 

“I would like to discuss Bella with you,” Edward says formally. Jacobs eyes trail over him lazily, as if looking to pick out his flaws and toss them back in his face. “She better not be pregnant again.” Edward chooses not to respond to this. Of course she isn’t, it isn’t possible.

Finally Jacob responds out loud, “You already married her, what more do you want?” A smirk spreads over his lips, “If you’re looking for a second wife I’ll happily offer up Leah.” 

“I don’t want anything-”

“Right, right, you’re so selfless and holy and better-than-thou,” Jacob snorts which only adds to Edwards mounting anger. “Let’s get this over with, colonizer.” Edwards eyes roll back in his head, arms crossing over his chest. 

“Please, try and take what I am telling you seriously,” he says a little too forcefully. He doesn’t want to argue with Jacob right now, he’s trying to have a civil discussion and instead Jacob is taunting him. Can this boy not take anything seriously? 

“Fine.”

Edward gives him a curt nod, “Thank you.” With an awkward glance around the forest, Edward begins his speech. “I was not present when Bella was going through her troubling… phase,” he says the last word gingerly as if not wanting to awaken it from it’s sleep.

“Depression,” Jacob corrects mentally. Edward cringes at the word but continues as if nothing was thought.

“But I have seen its worst parts through the minds of others. I am worried she may not be as happy as she once was. I’m concerned.” The statement doesn’t phase Jacob physically or mentally, instead his thoughts remain strangely silent and he merely shifts his weight to the other foot. “I’m not sure what to do, she is away today and I thought about following her-”

“Are you an idiot? Did you spend the last three hundred years working towards your doctorate in the school of dumbasses?” Jacobs' tone is cruel, his facts incorrect, and his demeanor more than a little concerning. He’s on the defence, as if something Edwards said has offended him. “Sometimes I wish kicking your ass wouldn’t force your daughter into therapy.” 

If anything his poor daughter will need therapy from the infinite amount of insults her godfather trades with her father.

“So I’m going to assume you don’t think following her to an unknown location is not a good idea?” It’s a rhetorical question and the century old vampire quickly continues on, “Need I remind you that the second she thought her mother was in trouble she offered herself up on a silver platter?” 

What was supposed to be a civil conversation has instead turned into a nasty argument, and Edward isn’t sure what caused the change. “Need I remind you that if there weren’t any vampires that wouldn’t be a problem?” Jacob’s words hit too close to home and he notices this when Edward winces at the statement. “What? You feel guilty now?”

“Yes, yes, I feel guilty because she very clearly is not happy!” Now Edward is yelling, matching Jacobs energy and escalating the situation even more than need be. “Do you not think I wish I could intervene? I have been trying to discuss this with her, bring up speaking to psychologist-”

“She doesn’t need a psychologist, she needs a friend.” Edward wasn’t meant to hear the thought and quickly Jacobs' mind focuses on the necklace between his fingers, trying to avoid that line of thought. “This wood is so smooth…” 

“She has Rose,” Edward sputters uselessly, pale hands coming up as if to grasp his wife’s mentally well-being out of the air. “She has Alice, she has Esme. Her and Emmett get along quite well-”

“And she has me,” Jacob says aloud. His tone is quiet, stating a fact and nothing more. He isn’t looking to antagonize Edward and is no longer defensive. “And I’m the only one her age. The only one who isn’t a vampire. The only one who isn’t part of the family she married into.” It’s like running into a brick wall, the reality of the situation hits Edward in the face and it’s all he can do to not falter backwards a step to try and right himself. 

His fingers begin to twitch at his sides, eyes eerily still as his brain processes the plausibility of what Jacob Black just told him. “She’s lonely?” He says at last, the word breaking as it escapes his lips and crashing to the floor like a porcelain doll. His wife, the woman who told him she wanted to be a vampire, wanted to spend eternity with him, is lonely?

“She’s-” Jacobs cut off as a howl rings through the forest. The noise echoes off the trees around them, Edward reads it through the other man's mind. It’s his turn to run perimeter around the reservation. “I’ve gotta go.” He turns around and sprints off into the shadows of the forest. His steps quicken and then are replaced by the heavy thudding of four paws. The sound of the wolf running quickly escapes Edwards hearing distance and the forest remains silent.

The vampire stands alone in the forest, the canopy of trees above him cutting off the filtered sunlight of the dreary day. How could his wife be lonely? Didn’t she choose this life? 

He feels some piece of information stuck in the back of his mind, just out of reach and he growls in frustration. This was his family, his life, his wife. And of course he didn’t have a clue on how to fix any of it. 

How could he have allowed this to happen?

It’s a split second decision that sends him through the woods, angling towards the nearest city. He’s the fastest of his family, matching miles in seconds and never needing to slow down or catch his breath. He doesn’t even need to breathe. It’s a wondrous escape from the bindings of human life, being able to exercise his supernatural body to the full extent of its abilities. His strides quicken as he pushes them to go faster, his muscles pull and release in perfect harmony and work upon their own accord. 

Bella had experienced this as a human, clutching onto his shoulders as he tore through the forest with her on his back. It was everything he had wanted. Showing the girl he loved most the side of him that no other human got to see. And she had loved him back. Had. Where are her feelings now?

He slows as he reaches the edge of the highway, it’s lanes converging into slower moving traffic as the city opens before him. Brick buildings stand at attention along main street, the exteriors primed for maximum tourist appeal. Old signs hang from stoops over the doorways, restaurants and gift shops alike. Edward already knows the exact route he had taken when Bella had come here as a human, when she was trapped in that alleyway- “But where would she be now?” He asks himself aloud. 

She had driven here, not run as he had. He supposes he could look for her vehicle and then trace her scent to her current whereabouts, but then what? He finds her and approaches her, tells her that he’s been searching her down to confirm that she does in fact still love him? No, he can’t do that, he knows that. Jacob had told him specifically not to do what he is currently doing. Not to follow Bella, don’t act like an idiot.

Yet, here he is. Acting against his and Jacobs better judgement.

He had purposely not spoken to his wife about her trips to Port Angeles because he didn’t want her to feel like she had to ask permission to leave. He wanted her to develop a sense of self as a vampire, not rely on him to sustain her only. He had wanted her to explore her new senses and abilities. He thought everything was going so well. Perhaps Rosalie was right, Bella was better off as a human. 

He steps out of the forest, grateful for the dim sky which clouded his skin. He walked aimlessly towards the main street, allowing his senses to take in all that is around him. He smells the fresh bread of the bakery across the road, the sickly sweet scent of melted ice cream sitting somewhere in a trashcan. He smells everything, but comes up without his wife. He hears the cars and the chattering of people as they go about their mindless, petty tasks, but his wife is not anywhere on this street. 

He eventually finds her vehicle, a black suv with tinted windows. She had parked at the opposite end of the city, under the shade of a large pine and beside a public park. He sniffs the air experimentally, her scent is travelling in every direction, but the north trail into the park is more potent. She’s been here recently. He looks through her passenger side window, a box of tissues sits on the seat alongside an open glasses case. None of them wear glasses, and this discovery startles him a little. 

He follows the trail north.

- let me know if you want to be tagged when i upload!-

@edwardsmate4ever​

[welllpthisishappening]

Welllp These Are Books: the February 2021 Edition

Most of my last month was spent on deadline and waiting for people to respond to my emails, which meant I did not have the time (or energy) to write much of anything, but had plenty of time to read, quite frankly, an absurd number of books. Some of which were very good, some of which were very cheesy, and some of which I have now told multiple people was quite possibly the worst book I have ever read. As always, though, what are my opinions if I am not sharing them with the internet? Ridiculous headlines, links, and those aforementioned opinions under the cut. As always, part two, feel free to send me any and all recommendations. It cannot possibly be worse than this one book. Seriously, you’ll understand in a second.

———

Quite Possibly the First Book I’ve Gone Out of My Way to Buy On Release Day Since Breaking Dawn, Which Says a lot About Me. As a Person.

A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

Nesta Archeron has always been prickly-proud, swift to anger, and slow to forgive. And ever since being forced into the Cauldron and becoming High Fae against her will, she's struggled to find a place for herself within the strange, deadly world she inhabits. Worse, she can't seem to move past the horrors of the war with Hybern and all she lost in it.

The one person who ignites her temper more than any other is Cassian, the battle-scarred warrior whose position in Rhysand and Feyre's Night Court keeps him constantly in Nesta's orbit. But her temper isn't the only thing Cassian ignites. The fire between them is undeniable, and only burns hotter as they are forced into close quarters with each other.

Meanwhile, the treacherous human queens who returned to the Continent during the last war have forged a dangerous new alliance, threatening the fragile peace that has settled over the realms. And the key to halting them might very well rely on Cassian and Nesta facing their haunting pasts.

Against the sweeping backdrop of a world seared by war and plagued with uncertainty, Nesta and Cassian battle monsters from within and without as they search for acceptance-and healing-in each other's arms.

I’m not kidding when I tell you that I was counting the days until this came out. I was kind of indifferent to Nesta after the original ACOTAR books, but intrigued enough that I was like, I need to read this, and then I did read this and now I care quite a lot about Nesta. And how in love with Cassian she is. And vice versa. Because, let’s be honest, dude is in l o v e. There were some parts of the story I was not super into — namely, Ferye having to die in childbirth. Like, you’re telling me Cassian could have his guts hanging out at one point and we don’t know how to do a c-section? Nah, that ain’t it. Also, pregnancy as a storyline is not always my favorite thing, but more on that in a second. Also, also, here’s a bunch more words about ACOSF.

A “Huh, So That Happened” Sort of Ending. Which Was Disappointing.

A Vow So Bold and Deadly by Brigid Kemmerer

Emberfall is crumbling fast, torn between those who believe Rhen is the rightful prince and those who are eager to begin a new era under Grey, the true heir. Grey has agreed to wait two months before attacking Emberfall, and in that time, Rhen has turned away from everyone--even Harper, as she desperately tries to help him find a path to peace.

Fight the battle, save the kingdom. Meanwhile, Lia Mara struggles to rule Syhl Shallow with a gentler hand than her mother. But after enjoying decades of peace once magic was driven out of their lands, some of her subjects are angry Lia Mara has an enchanted prince and a magical scraver by her side. As Grey's deadline draws nearer, Lia Mara questions if she can be the queen her country needs.

As the two kingdoms come closer to conflict, loyalties are tested, love is threatened, and an old enemy resurfaces who could destroy them all, in this stunning conclusion to bestselling author Brigid Kemmerer's Cursebreaker series.

I loved the first book in this series. Absolutely adored it. So much so that I pretty quickly got the second one and read it. Enjoyed that on its own, but like I said in that one ask, I’m fairly certain A Curse So Dark and Lonely could have very easily been a standalone story. Should have been a standalone story? There was just SO MUCH going on here, and not nearly enough of it was resolved. Plot points just hung by the end of the trilogy, I was not ever entirely convinced Rhen and Harper were actually in love, let alone liked each other, and I thought Rhen got the very short end of an exceptionally cracked stick by the time the whole story wrapped up. Really, I think this  tried to do too much in not enough time and there should probably be another book. Also Lia Mara getting pregnant was dumb. There I said it.

Free Books On Amazon Unlimited That Were Better Than Expected, But Also Read Like Fic

The Bargainer Series by Laura Thalassa

Everyone knows that if you need a favor, you go to the Bargainer to make it happen. He’s a man who can get you anything you want … at a price. And everyone knows that sooner or later he always collects.

Callypso Lillis is a siren with a very big problem, one that stretches up her arm and far into her past. For the last seven years she’s been collecting a bracelet of black beads up her wrist, magical IOUs for favors she’s received. Only death or repayment will fulfill the obligations. Only then will the beads disappear.

But for one of his clients, he’s never asked for repayment. Not until now. When Callie finds the fae king of the night in her room, a grin on his lips and a twinkle in his eye, she knows things are about to change. At first it’s just a chaste kiss—a single bead’s worth—and a promise for more.

For the Bargainer, it’s more than just a matter of rekindling an old romance. Something is happening in the Otherworld. Fae warriors are going missing one by one. Only the women are returned, each in a glass casket, a child clutched to their breast. And then there are the whispers among the slaves, whispers of an evil that’s been awoken.

If the Bargainer has any hope to save his people, he’ll need the help of the siren he spurned long ago. Only, his foe has a taste for exotic creatures, and Callie just happens to be one.

No one is going to be able to convince me this wasn’t ACOTAR fan fic. I don’t care about timing or dates, or whatever. The similarities just...did not stop. In all three books, even. There were three books in this series, by the way. Most of which I really enjoyed. I read them all in like four days of email waiting, so they must have been doing something right. Des was a good love interest and I really liked the flashbacks in the first book. Also Callie didn’t super annoy me. That being said, whoever edited this book. Oof. Some of the prose was so goddamn cringe, I literally lol’ed. Right out loud. Every now and then it was like we had to be reminded that Des was a BAD GUY ™ but it felt very Edward “I’m a killer, Bella” Cullen, and Callie’s internal monologue was occasionally hysterical. Not in a good way. Also Temper was the worst. She was so annoying. Every time she talked, I was like, oh, her again. The first book was the best one.

HITTING ALL MY ROM COM BOXES! BASEBALL! ROMANCE! PINING! ONLY VAGUELY UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN THEY HAD SEX IN THE PORT JEFF DUGOUT BECAUSE I’VE BEEN IN THE PORT JEFF DUGOUT.

Fix Her Up by Tessa Bailey

Georgette Castle’s family runs the best home renovation business in town, but she picked balloons instead of blueprints and they haven’t taken her seriously since. Frankly, she’s over it. Georgie loves planning children’s birthday parties and making people laugh, just not at her own expense. She’s determined to fix herself up into a Woman of the World... whatever that means.

Phase one: new framework for her business (a website from this decade, perhaps?)

Phase two: a gut-reno on her wardrobe (fyi, leggings are pants.)

Phase three: updates to her exterior (do people still wax?)

Phase four: put herself on the market (and stop crushing on Travis Ford!)

Travis Ford was major league baseball’s hottest rookie when an injury ended his career. Now he’s flipping houses to keep busy and trying to forget his glory days. But he can’t even cross the street without someone recapping his greatest hits. Or making a joke about his… bat. And then there's Georgie, his best friend’s sister, who is not a kid anymore. When she proposes a wild scheme—that they pretend to date, to shock her family and help him land a new job—he agrees. What’s the harm? It’s not like it’s real. But the girl Travis used to tease is now a funny, full-of-life woman and there’s nothing fake about how much he wants her...

Living her best life means facing the truth: Georgie hasn’t been on a date since, well, ever. Nobody’s asking the town clown out for a night of hot sex, that’s for sure. Maybe if people think she’s having a steamy love affair, they’ll acknowledge she’s not just the “little sister” who paints faces for a living. And who better to help demolish that image than the resident sports star and tabloid favorite.

Legit, I saw the description for this and I was like—did I write this? Kind of. (Shameless plug to read my own rom com, it also has baseball and pining) It didn’t matter, I loved it. Seriously, it hit all my rom com boxes: childhood friends, best friend’s sister, coming back home under duress, FAKE DATING and, let’s be honest, I am not immune to the use of “baby girl” as an endearment. Every time Travis called Georgie “baby girl” I was like, oh, ok, this is cool. It was cool! I only have two quips. One, that the fake dating didn’t last a little longer. The pacing of the story felt very quick, but that’s also this genre’s style. So I kind of get it. And two, that it happened in Port Jefferson, which is a town in Suffolk County that I have not only been to, but have spent significant time in. Meaning I could picture every single thing, knew exactly where they were and have used the exit on the Northern State Parkway that the final moments of the book took place at. The Port Jeff girls basketball team won a Long Island championship last weekend. In real life, not the book.

In Which Spinoffs Continue to be my Kryptonite. Especially Well-Written Ones

Mistletoe and Mr. Right by Sarah Morgenthaler

Lana Montgomery is everything the quirky small town of Moose Springs, Alaska can't stand: a rich socialite with dreams of changing things for the better. But Lana's determined to prove that she belongs...even if it means trading her stilettos for snow boots and tracking one of the town's hairiest Christmas mysteries: the Santa Moose, an antlered Grinch hell-bent on destroying every bit of holiday cheer (and tinsel) it can sink its teeth into.

And really...how hard could it be?

The last few years have been tough on Rick Harding, and it's not getting any easier now that his dream girl's back in town. When Lana accidentally tranquilizes him instead of the Santa Moose, it's clear she needs help, fast...and this could be his chance to finally catch her eye. It's an all-out Christmas war, but if they can nab that darn moose before it destroys the town, Rick and Lana might finally find a place where they both belong...together.

I mentioned The Tourist Attraction in my January list, and this is the second in the Moose Springs trio. And it’s so good! I wish people were all as nice to Lana as Rick was. It’s what she deserved! More small-town antics, more kissing, another moose. This one was just as cute as the original book, especially because it brought back original characters and Zoey and Graham were so goddamn adorable as a committed couple I genuinely feared for the state of my teeth.

Enjoy the View by Sarah Morgenthaler

Former Hollywood darling River Lane's acting career is tanking fast. Determined to start fresh behind the camera, she agrees to film a documentary about the picturesque small town of Moose Springs, Alaska. The assignment should have been easy, but the quirky locals want nothing to do with River. Well, too bad: River's going to make this film and prove herself, no matter what it takes.

Or what (literal) mountain she has to climb.

Easton Lockett may be a gentle giant, but he knows a thing or two about survival. If he can keep everyone in line, he should be able to get River and her crew up and down Mount Veil in one piece. Turns out that's a big if. The wildlife's wilder than usual, the camera crew's determined to wander off a cliff, and the gorgeous actress is fearless. Falling for River only makes Easton's job tougher, but there's only so long he can hold out against her brilliant smile. When bad weather strikes, putting everyone at risk, it'll take all of Easton's skill to get them back home safely...and convince River she should stay in his arms for good.

Wrapping up the Moose Springs trio, this one might have been my least favorite, but that’s not really saying much. Since I loved them all pretty equally. River and Easton’s banter was grade-A, top-notch, which is a one-way ticket to my reading-heart. Maybe part of the problem (I say problem like there really was one) was that most of the story took place on a mountain. I kind of wanted more small-town shenanigans, and updates on the condos and the state of the town and Graham being mayor. Still, this was very cute. I swooned multiple times. I’ll probably read anything Sarah Morgenthaler writes from here on out.

Seriously, What Is YA? Does Anyone Know?

The Beautiful by Renee Ahdieh

In 1872, New Orleans is a city ruled by the dead. But to   seventeen-year-old Celine Rousseau, New Orleans is a safe haven after   she's forced to flee her life as a dressmaker in Paris. Taken in by the sisters of the Ursuline convent in the middle of the carnival season,   Celine is quickly enraptured by the vibrant city, from its music to its fancy soirées and even its danger. She becomes embroiled in the city's glitzy underworld, known as La Cour des Lions, after catching the eye of  the group's enigmatic leader, Sébastien Saint Germain.

When the body of one of the girls from the convent is found in Sébastien's own lair--the second dead girl to turn up in recent weeks--Celine battles her attraction to Sébastien and suspicions about his guilt along with the shame of her own horrible secret.

After a third murder, New  Orleans becomes gripped by the terror of a serial killer on the  loose--one who has now set Celine in his sights. As the murderer stalks  her, Celine finally takes matters into her own hands, only to find  herself caught in the midst of an age-old feud between the darkest  creatures of the night, where the price of forbidden love is her life.

Like I said last month, I put a hold on pretty much everything Renee Ahdieh had written in my library. And this was just as good as the last series I read. Her world building is just—chef’s kiss, gorgeous. I dream of writing this airy, magical way, that makes you feel like you’re in New Orleans. That being said, I do not know what kid is reading this because apparently this is YA and I had to read every single word to figure out what was going on. Now, I know there are two more books in the series, but this one felt like a lot of set up and I spent most of it being like...will this make sense eventually? It did, but only during a very rushed climax of final few chapters. The sequel isn’t available on Kindle at the library, and I haven’t bought it yet. So, that’s probably kind of telling.

In Which You Cannot Always Depend On Old Favorites

No Judgments by Meg Cabot

When a massive hurricane severs all power and cell service to Little Bridge Island—as well as its connection to the mainland—twenty-five-year-old Bree Beckham isn’t worried . . . at first. She’s already escaped one storm—her emotionally abusive ex—so a hurricane seems like it will be a piece of cake.

But animal-loving Bree does become alarmed when she realizes how many islanders have been cut off from their beloved pets. Now it’s up to her to save as many of Little Bridge’s cats and dogs as she can . . . but to do so, she’s going to need help—help she has no choice but to accept from her boss’s sexy nephew, Drew Hartwell, the Mermaid Café’s most notorious heartbreaker.

But when Bree starts falling for Drew, just as Little Bridge’s power is restored and her penitent ex shows up, she has to ask herself if her island fling was only a result of the stormy weather, or if it could last during clear skies too.

I love Meg Cabot. That should be stated upfront and at the very beginning because for a very long time I have claimed that being Meg Cabot was my dream job. I’ve read pretty much every book Meg Cabot has ever written and was fairly certain I’d be into these once I did read them. Only I was...not. Not really. Everything in this book happened so quickly, I felt like I was the one in the hurricane. People were kissing and then they were having sex and there was a storm and pets and then—it was over? The pacing was all over the place, I had no idea why Drew and Bree liked each other, some guy kicked a dog at one point?? It was weird. Which leads us to—

No Offense by Meg Cabot

A broken engagement only gave Molly Montgomery additional incentive to follow her dream job from the Colorado Rockies to the Florida Keys. Now, as Little Bridge Island Public Library’s head of children’s services, Molly hopes the messiest thing in her life will be her sticky-note covered desk. But fate—in the form of a newborn left in the restroom—has other ideas. So does the sheriff who comes to investigate the “abandonment”.  When John Hartwell folds all six-feet-three of himself into a tiny chair and insists that whoever left the baby is a criminal, Molly begs to differ and asks what he’s doing about the Island’s real crime wave (if thefts of items from homes that have been left unlocked could be called that). Not the best of starts, but the man’s arrogance is almost as distracting as his blue eyes. Almost…

John would be pretty irritated if one of his deputies had a desk as disorderly as Molly’s. Good thing she doesn’t work for him, considering how attracted he is to her. Molly’s lilting librarian voice makes even the saltiest remarks go down sweeter, which is bad as long as she’s a witness but might be good once the case is solved—provided he hasn’t gotten on her last nerve by then. Recently divorced, John has been having trouble adjusting to single life as well as single parenthood. But something in Molly’s beautiful smile gives John hope that his old life on Little Bridge might suddenly hold new promise—if only they can get over their differences.

This isn’t a sequel SEQUEL, but another one of those “exists in the same universe,” or same town, as it were, and it was better than No Judgments. Molly and John actually had a few legitimate conversations before they started kissing. The conflict was still weird and sort of forced, this was not Meg’s usual banter (I fell like I can call her Meg at this point, y’know?) and, again, the ending just felt like it...happened. I don’t know guys, maybe I should just reread The Boy Is Back. Or that quasi Persephone-Hades series. It’s been awhile. On that one, at least. I read The Boy Is Back like six months ago.

ABSOLUTELY INFURIATING ROM COM THAT I CANNOT BELIEVE I FINISHED, SOMEONE GIVE ME A PRIZE FOR FINISHING THIS

Fight or Flight by Samantha Young

The universe is conspiring against Ava Breevort. As if flying back to   Phoenix to bury a childhood friend wasn't hell enough, a cloud of   volcanic ash traveling from overseas delayed her flight back home to   Boston. Her last ditch attempt to salvage the trip was thwarted by an   arrogant Scotsman, Caleb Scott, who steals a first class seat out from   under her. Then over the course of their journey home, their antagonism somehow lands them in bed for the steamiest layover Ava's ever had. And  that's all it was--until Caleb shows up on her doorstep. 

When pure chance pulls Ava back into Caleb's orbit, he proposes they enjoy their physical connection while he's stranded in Boston. Ava agrees, knowing her heart's in no danger since a) she barely likes Caleb and b) his existence in her life is temporary. Not long thereafter Ava realizes she's made a terrible error because as it turns out Caleb Scott isn't quite so unlikeable after all. When his stay in Boston becomes permanent, Ava must decide whether to fight her feelings for him or give into them. But even if she does decide to risk her heart on Caleb, there is no guarantee her stubborn Scot will want to risk his heart on her...

When I tell you guys that this was the worst book I have read in recent memory, I am not kidding. Might actually be the worst book I have ever read. Bar none. And that’s saying something because one time I had to read Ender’s Game in college and that, like, physically pained me. This was awful. Awful people. Awful plot. Awful resolution. AWFUL. Where to start? Well, I’m not going to apologize for spoilers, because God help us all, do not read this book. Ava has been through so many horrible things in her life it was like someone was trying to set a record. Bad parents, cheating ex-boyfriend, dead former best friend who was former because of the cheating ex-boyfriend. Naturally, this made her a control freak because—of course, or something. And Caleb! Oh my God, fucking Caleb Scott. The dickwad. I’ve never rooted for anyone to not get the girl more. When Ava “broke up” with him (they were never really together) I might have cheered. Shitty things does not give you an excuse to be a dick, and Caleb was a dick. Seriously, he started crying about how his ex-fiance KILLED THEIR BABY and I was like—this cannot possibly be a real book. It was! With lots of abortion opinions out of FUCKING nowhere, and weird possessive behavior from, like, every dude in it. Both Ava AND her best friend (not the dead one, a different one) got assaulted at one point. I kept reading solely because I was desperate to see how they rationalized Ava and Caleb getting back together at the end and they didn’t. He showed up on her flight when her boss came up with a fake work trip so he could sit next to her on the plane. What? WHAT?? It was so dumb. So bad. I can’t believe I read it. 

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Cold (White Demon’s Love Song, Part 1.)

Series description: A new job was what the reason you found yourself on a lonely roadtrip on the western coast, ending up in the woods of Olympian Peninsula. Yet a sudden car malfuction was what cause your unplanned stay in Forks. To your surprise, there was a lot of sinister things going on under the veil of fog. 

Part summary: On your way to Port Angeles, your car just suddenly gave up, dying just in front of the Forks welcome sign. Well... It was time to call the local mechanic.

A/N: The series’ name is obviously a call-back to Twilight Saga: New Moon soundrack, A White Demon Love Song (by the Killers), used in the ending credits. Honestly, the song is amazing and you should give it a listen, or two, because it reminds me of Jacob so much.  

Word count: 4.5 K

Twilight playlist: ✨ Twilight Crackheads ✨

Series masterlist: H E R E

PICTURE SOURCE 

Dedicated to the best hooman being I know, my dearest, @missdictatorme​

It was nothing but a small town, located close to the western coast, standing in the middle of nothing but deep, dark woods. Its population never crossed the milestone of 4.000 people at one time - neither it had a chance to do so. The town was located in northern America, in the state of Washington. Its name was Forks - close to Forks, there was a native-American territory named the Quileute reservation, La Push being its tiny, beating heart; a slightly bigger town named Port Angeles, and one big city - Olympia.

The forests and nature of the Olympian Peninsula was one of the most mysterious and beautiful to ever be experienced by a human being. There were mountain lions and bears, wolves, and bigger, more dangerous animals hiding in the deep, all-year-long green woods. For such a small town, Forks had its fair share of unnatural, mythical, and legendary creatures roaming around/in it. The deepest nightmares of horror and fairytales coming true, if you will. It also seemed that the town just can't leave the cycle of repeating events, one man in the woods thought.

It wasn't just a man, no, that wouldn't be accurate to say. It was a man with a literal animal inside his body. An animal about which he hoped will never come on the surface once again. All he wanted was to grow old without complications, that was his whole deal. Now that he was left alone, behind and Cullens, the residing vampire family, had left the town, he and his brothers had a chance to do so... Finally. Five years ago, he and Sam Uley, the leader of another pack, watched the Cullens leave the city for another... Hundred years or so. It appeared it's the time to stop with the whole wolf thing, letting them let the wolves inside of them die.

Being a werewolf, a child of the moon, a wolf, or a shapeshifter, whatever you wanted to call it, wasn't as brutal as it was described in horror stories over the years. More than anything, the men and women of the Quileute tribe were carrying the spirit animal inside - the animal was waiting inside, sleeping, until it was called to rise once more. Not everyone could become a wolf - only the ancestors of the first big chief, Taha Aki, could do so. There also needed specific things to happen for their transformation, whether it was the first one or another beginning of the cycle. They needed to smell the scent of vampires.

No-one could predict a pack of vampires taking refuge just a small bit from Forks, again. Yet this time, it wasn't the 'good' vampires feeding on animal blood; these were wild, unpredictable, and red-eyed. These could not be debated to reach any sort of agreement or truce, as the Cullens did a century ago. These had to be stopped, killed, and burned. Whether they would be acting nice or not, they were a threat to Forks and everyone living in it. Which the spirits realized - they started to re-awaken once more.

First, it caught most of the pack unprepared - both alphas of the Uley and Black pack started to feel the sensation of intense heat, of rage and fury all of a sudden. For Jacob Black, it happened when he was in his workshop, repairing an old engine. He barely had the strength to walk out of the building. His muscles were tensing uncontrollably, a high fever appeared all of a sudden. Just muttered groans of pain and heavy breathing could be heard as Jacob walked past the first line of high trees, waiting for the feeling to rip him apart like a rag doll. This shouldn't be happening. There were no vampires in Forks anymore, why was the wolf urging to come out?

The man fell on both his knees. In despair, his fingers dug deep into the forest soil as he let himself cry out in pain. No-one could see him or hear him now, it was fine. The spasms made him fall on his back as his pupils were wildly rolling. If any Catholic priest would see him, he could easily claim that Jacob was possessed by a demon. Another groan left Jacob's body, which was still writhing in convulsions until the part came - the one where his human form just exploded, a hoard of russet fur sprang out as the wolf tried to get on his feet. The man was highly confused. Why did this happen? He wasn't left in the dark for too long - soon, he heard the familiar voice of Sam Uley, who was just a few years older than him, inside his head.

Sure, both of them decided to separate some time ago, creating two packs in Forks, but they could still communicate telepathically - as two alphas, the leaders of the pack. - 'Is that you, Jacob?' - Sam screamed into the void, being scared beyond his wildest dreams. It was understandable - back in the day, Sam was the first to awaken his spirit wolf when the Cullens moved back to Forks. Naturally, he was alone and didn't get what was happening to him that much - until the elders told him. This time, it might've been the same thing, again. Naturally, Sam was relieved when he felt another mind connect into the web of shared thoughts, even if it was just Jacob. - 'Did it just happen to you too? Are you the only one as well?' - Sam asked with anxiety. - 'Yes. I can't hear Seth or Embry or Quil. You?' - Jake informed about his current situation. - 'I can't hear anyone either. Do you know what's happening?' - Yet this time, Jacob was silent.

He didn't know what was going on. The only thing he knew was that he has to protect his territory by all costs - and that something is going on around Forks.

A few days later, road 101:

"You are now tuning into Radio Forks on 140.5 FM. The weather is nice today, but remember to be careful on the roads anyway. On a request from our listener, we will now play The Violet Hour by Sea Wolf... Take it away." - A woman in the radio said, her voice mashing up into happy guitar rhythms in the end. The song was nice and fast, so it made you dance in the seat of your Beetle while you gripped on the steering wheel. The car was most probably at least twice as old as you were, it wasn't in the best condition and the stereo was also kind of shit, and the AC worked only when you pulled out the lighter out, but it was still your car in the end. Well, you couldn't afford anything better from a teacher payment anyway - the Beetle never gave up on you, it had never malfunctioned and even if it did eat a lot of fuel, you still loved the car.

Now, you were on your way to Tacoma because of the work you've been given there - starting in a few weeks, you've already had moved most of your stuff into the new apartment which you shared with a roommate. It was exciting, starting another stage of your life in Tacoma. Sure, your mom was a bit scared when you told her how far you were moving out, but you promised to call and text her all the time, so she would be calm.

But before your final settling down in Tacoma, your friends advised you to take a short trip along the western coast - especially the upper part of it. So you did as they told you - you were now close to some small town named Forks, which you wanted to just drive through quickly, before continuing to Port Angeles. These towns were small and hadn't much to offer, but according to your friend, it was magical to stay there, even just for a while. So far, you hadn't stopped in many towns, but you had to say that you liked the weather - hot, sunny days? You were starting to question them after spending a week on the road. The higher you got in Washington, the more cloudy and rainy it got. More importantly, it was freezing in this part of the world. What was the sun? You didn't know. You hadn't seen it since you entered the deep, green, and rainy woods of the state. The roads were always slipping from the rain, so you had to focus on the damn road at all times.

There was deer here and there on the road, but even if the view was mostly the same, you liked it. The air was cold and humid even though, in the nights and sometimes even during the day, it got very cold up here. You've chosen to move to Tacoma, didnt you? This was what you should be prepared for.

Quickly, you glanced over the map to see if you're still on the right road when your eyes widened in horror. The motor just made a damn weird sound. Oh no. Oh crap! You cried out internally as you felt the car slowing down. All you did was to ride to the roadside with panic as the car made a few very unpleasant sounds before the engine stopped completely. The Forks sign was mocking you from the distance, telling you that you were just a small while from the city. So much for just passing through, huh? Without too much waiting, you tried to call the local post office, the only number you had on your phone and to your surprise, the woman knew a number on the local mechanic. Why wouldn't she? According to the number on the board, this town was damn small.

Or, maybe, a lot of people called her and asked her for a towtruck.  

More so, she switched you over to the workshop just moments after. You've been sitting in the car, already having your winter jacket pulled on since it was getting cold in there rapidly, watching the damn sign just mocking you silently. You were in the temptation to stick your tongue out, but it was just a dumb sign. - "Jacob Black on the phone, what can I do for you?"

First off, the voice, regarding the polite question, sounded almost fed up and annoyed - and you haven't spoken out yet. Someone had a bad day. Second of all - the man sounded quite young. Did the post-office-lady switch you to a bad number? - "Hello? Is someone out there?" - The Jacob mechanic asked again. The tone, again, was unpleasing to listen to. But this time, you gathered yourself to answer. - "Yea, yea. Hi, I got your number? They told me you're the Forks mechanic with a towtruck? Is that right?" - You quickly got out of yourself. While you were talking, you got out of the car and walked around the car in circles, trying to warm yourself up. Which was borderline foolishness when it was drizzling outside, but whatever. - "Where you're stuck? What happened?" - The man said without a hint of caring about the topic.

"My car just... Stopped suddenly." - You described. After a quiet sigh, you could almost hear the Jacob man rolling his eyes. - "I'm just a few yards from the Forks welcome sign. Can you help me or should I call someone else?" - Wow, you got straight to the point. Damn, you didn't need some fed up, annoyed mechanic. He could at least pretend to care. It wouldn't have killed him. - "Listen, miss. The nearest towtruck, except me, is in Port Angeles. If you don't wanna pay ridiculous prices for the service, it will be wise to hire me, okay? It's one mile... So I'll be asking for five bucks just to get your car to my garage, with the services and everything counted in. Is that alright?"

Again, even if the question was meant to be polite since you were his potential customer, it was said in such a manner that couldn't be described other than rude. Jacob was straightway rude with you. Also, five dollars for a mile were a bit overpriced. You could be glad that the mechanic of such backwater didn't ask for ten bucks... Let alone how much would the Port Angeles mechanic want? You had some money with you, but it wasn't much either. And for now, you had to save until you'd get to know what's wrong with your car. - "Okay. How long until you'll be here?" - You asked, now you were fed up as well. That made two of you annoyed, great conversation. - "In about... Half an hour. See you there." - And the phone line went dead. With empty gaze, you were staring into the woods with both your eyebrows raised as you listened to the long, beeping sound.

Half an hour? Did he want to let you freeze out there, in the woods, lost on the road 101? And for the love of God, you couldn't wait for the moment you'll talk with the man from eye to eye. That will be an unpleasant conversation, you could tell already. Quickly, you ran back to your car. For some time, you tried to get at least the almost non-existent heating system on, but the car was dead. It didn't even start. You were sure that you'll freeze to death before the towtruck comes to save you. And you almost did - by the time you've seen an old, big Chevy truck with a hook on its back, your mouth were already feeling your teeth-gnashing being fully set. You were hugging yourself inside the car, there was mist slowly coming out of your lips. Well, this was bad.

The man jumped out of the towtruck, watching your car in horror. How old was this thing? Sixty years? Well, it was certainly older than its owner, who was sitting inside. It could be told you weren't used to such cold, because you were looking as if you were about to die any minute. With your eyebrows knitted, you watched the man approaching your window. The first thing that punched you in the eyes was the fact he was wearing just a plain, short-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of old jeans. The man also had long hair pulled into a man bun and damn, these eyes could start shoot bolts of lightning at any time.

He also was... Huge. You'd swear you hadn't seen a man who would take as much space as him. This man was at least six feet tall... And a lot of inches more. As he approached you, you suddenly felt the need to scold him down about politeness fading away. As he knocked onto the window, you rolled it down with a super awkward smile, feeling every inch of you being scared by the man. As soon as you rolled the window down, the man leaned both his palms into the door - with a glance, you figured out he would be able to just break the door if he'd want to, and leaned closer to you.

"You were the one that called?" - The man asked, annoyed once more. So, this was Jacob Black himself - the local mechanic in all his glory. A freaky dude, in your opinion. - "Yep. 't was me." - You peeped out while trying to keep the smile on. Jacob straightened up and sighed, looking away from you for a moment. The way you were smiling, as if you weren't feeling physically well, was giving him the creeps too, don't you worry about it. - "Get out, I'll help this bad boy up." - Jacob patted your car's top. For a moment, you were afraid that the car might break down to pieces as the cartoon cars did - the trunk would fall, the tires would roll away and you would be sitting there on the seat with the steering wheel in your palms. That, thank God, didn't happen.

As the man worked on pulling your car up so you could drag it to the workshop, you could ask him a ton of questions - why was he naked in the middle of such weather? Was being pissy his all-around mood? How was he doing? Yet out of respect, you were just standing there with the same terrifying smile and watching him doing all the job. If you weren't standing there and if you weren't watching him without moving, he'd have so much easier job. Jacob would just take the car, drag it to the hook and click to place - but solely because of your stare, he had to pretend he was struggling with the task a bit. Yet even though he was pretending to struggle, he was done in a few minutes. - "Well, get into the trunk. We don't want you to get... Cold." - Jacob spoke out to you carefully, trying to lower the level of annoyance in his voice.

It was just a simple misunderstanding - while Jacob was worried that the weather around here, to which you quite obviously weren't accommodated to, had done something to the muscles in your face, you were just worried that the man might do something to you if you say something wrong. That was the whole problem. You couldn't know that Jacob wouldn't ever hurt anyone and he couldn't know you're just afraid of big boys. With a nod, you walked to the cabin of the old Chevy truck. It was pretty old, but taken care of  - the black paint wasn't that old, it was still shiny in the drops of rain.

The way to the workshop was as quiet as hell - and uncomfortable the same. Jake didn't know what he did wrong and how to start a conversation with you. Honestly, you were just glad that the cabin of his truck was nicely warm. The color got back into your face in no time. And seemingly, the worried smile had disappeared as well. The way was quick - sooner than you'd say, Jacob already had the car inside his workshop. - "So, here's what I'm going to do. I'll check your car, see what's wrong and what can I do for you. You wanna a coffee, tea, or a cup of hot chocolate in the meantime? There are some magazines in the waiting room too, if you're interested." - The man looked at you while he cleaned his palms in the rug. - "The chocolate sounds nice if you don't mind." - "That's a buck worth of excess fare." - He mumbled to you, but walked to his office, getting the coffee machine ready. You almost wanted to tell him something back - yet just at that moment, the man turned his head at you.

His palm quickly pulled a strand of his black hair behind his eyes while his brown, warm eyes gave you a look. - "I was joking. It's counted into the services." - Jacob explained quickly. Oh. You nodded. It didn't sound like a joke, but who were you to judge that. Were all the people in Forks like this? If they were, well, this was sure a great place to live at. Just after he put the small cup on the table in the waiting room, he made sure the heating is on in there. After that, he disappeared into the workplace. All you could hear was some quiet music and rattling of tools as Jacob got into work.

All you did was that you sat there like a small kid, sipping on the warm treat. It was making you feel a bit better. Suddenly, the man almost kicked the door, standing in there with a horrified expression. - "How old is the car?" - Jacob asked simply, rubbing his palms into the rug again. Something in his eyes told you he's being freaked out by what he had seemed. - "I don't know. I bought it six years ago from my neighbor who was forbidden to drive because she couldn't see anymore." - You answered immediately, standing up to look the man in his eyes. - "I don't know how did it drive for so long. This is a wreck." - The mechanic informed you and turned on his heels, marching back to the shop. When you didn't get his hint and didn't follow, he turned his head at you and rose his eyebrow. You were there in no time at all.

"I don't even know where to start. The AC is busted, the hoses in the engine are clogged by various stuff, your alternator... Wow, I'm wondering that it's one piece..." - He was pointing his fingers around, talking about the breaks, some small parts, and various other stuff. - "Um, Mr. Black, I don't understand what you're trying to say, so... Can you get to the point? What is wrong and how much will it cost to repair the car?" - The expression you had on your face told Jacob that you, indeed, were confused as hell. He knew women, Rosalie Hale and such, who were into cars massively, so he would never say that cars were just a 'guy thing' - yet there were people who just weren't gifted in this sort of thing. - "Uh, I think it might be better to just buy some new car," - Jacob started, but your face told him you weren't thinking about leaving the beloved Beetle behind. - "Or, I can try to figure out what to do, yeah." - Suddenly, he walked to his small desk and started to work with his calculator, writing things down on a list. Then, he showed you how much you were about to pay - and the sum made you sit on the chair he had there. With a long sigh, you leaned your elbows to your knees, trying to keep it together.

700 dollars with his work counted in. That was quite something - somehow, you were positive that Jacob Black gave you a pity-discount as well. Sure, you had something saved - but you needed to eat something in Tacoma and 700 bucks wouldn't be healthy for your dying bank account. As a university student, you had multiple loans and stuff, you also had to pay the rent... And certainly, you didn't have spare 15.000 bucks to buy a new car. And you needed one. With a shaky sigh, you put your head to your palms and tried to keep it together. - "It will take me at least two weeks to get all the parts I need and then... Listen, I didn't know the car's this bad either." - Suddenly, you realized that the man is standing next to you, smoothing your shoulder. He could understand people in bad financial situations - he hadn't much himself, though it was significantly better than when he was younger.

He wanted to help you somehow, but the parts were simply too expansive against his liking. Especially for something like the Beetle in front of him. This bad boy needed to take care of everything - and Jacob, sure of his experience with old cars, knew he can repair it... Somehow. - "Is there a motel somewhere out here? Do you know the prices?" - You asked silently. Dear God, were you crying? What should he do? A crying woman, when did he encounter a situation tricky as this one the last time? His brain circuits almost burned up when he thought about what should he do with you. And suddenly... The small bulb was there. - "Um, are you a murderer or something like that?" - Jacob mumbled, trying to joke - and to his surprise, you joked back. - "I won't be killing anyone for you to repair my car with a discount." - This made him chuckle.

"That's good to know. I'll present you an idea, okay? Since I'm now sure you're not so mentally okay..." - "What did you say?" - Suddenly, you sprang up, making Jacob grin even more as he walked around the room. - "Nothing. All I'm saying is... The motel could get expansive for a long-term stay and I have one spare room above the shop. It's used for visitors mostly, so nothing you'd have to worry about. I'll ask ten bucks for a week and it would be kinda fine if you'd buy some food sometimes... And if you'd like to, you can help me out here - and in exchange for that, I'll give you a discount. I think I can lower the sum to 500, maybe 450 if I'll be lucky. I have to make something outta this, you know?" - The man leaned his ass into the car standing behind him, smiling at you carefully. Okay, this sure as hell was an act of pettiness, you could tell just by the look he gave you. But, honestly, he didn't seem to be that bad now.

Also, this was genuinely nice of him. When you imagined how much you'd pay for the motel, the car, and your food altogether, just for the two-week stay, your eyes rolled on their own. - "Why are you doing this?" - You asked quietly. You appreciated the help, you did, but it was strange. Maybe, if everyone was like the mechanic Jacob Black in Forks, the town wasn't half bad. - "Listen, I'm not some dude who would be into a kidnapping or other weird stuff... I just know how it's like not to have much money. You're young, driving this piece of crap, what do you work as, might I ask?" - "A teacher. I'll be starting in Tacoma this September." - Jacob didn't answer to your answer, he just rose his eyebrows to get his point across. - "Take it or leave it. That's all I'm saying." - "You also did miss the fact that I don't know cars at all." - There you were again, the joking-around girl he had seen just a few moments before. - "I also didn't say you'd get near my cars, God protects you if you'd try to do so. I have... Uh... Some problems with the administration if you wouldn't mind. Paperwork isn't my thing and picking up calls isn't my stick either." - "I've noticed."

For a moment, you've been looking at the dude in dead silence. Well, it was a risky plan - but you weren't in the position to do much more. Jacob gave you the best possible alternative you could hope for, it was just because he, under all the annoyance, could maybe be a pretty reasonable guy. - "I'll take your offer, only if I can tell the chief of local police that I'm staying in this workshop." - Jacob snorted at your condition, but he needed to say it was fair enough. - "Sure. So... Is that a deal?" - The man offered you a palm and you stood up, shaking it. - "It is a deal, Mr. Black. Name's Y/N, by the way. You probably should know that."

[colorfullfalls]

Warm me up

Embry Call x Reader

Between Forks and La Push, supernatural occurances were constant. Vampires, wolves, but the new visitors were witches. A coven of witches moved directly between Forks and La Push, which created a massive headache for the Cullen's and Quileutes.

The witches were unpredictable and everyone seemed weary about them. The imprints were strictly told to steer clear of them. Worry coursed through the wolves veins as the thought of the love of their lives being magically hurt in any way.

Y/N was bored. Embry was patrolling a lot lately for the Black Pack due to the additional supernatural beings. She admired his dedication and hours upon hours protecting the people. But she missed him. And even more so, she was bored.

"Sweetheart, please don't go anywhere without someone who is.. well... A wolf or vampire. It sounds dumb but we aren't sure with what we are dealing with."

Embry's honest genuine worries flowed through her brain every time she thought about saying fuck it and leaving the small house.

She watched movies, cleaned again and again, organized a thousand times, played with the dogs in the yard, danced in the kitchen, painted and even sewed. Still, she yearned to actually go out in public. Walmart roaming at 2 am seemed like an absolute dream, but Embry would go into cardiac arrest if you went there, let alone so late.

He always claimed that late nights made people lonely and that led to them doing bad shit. He was so paranoid that you would fall victim to someone's boredom gone wrong. He loved Y/N more than the world and God, he wanted to shelter her and keep her safe.

The imprints were alright with doing whatever their wolves said. Stay inside- they did. Don't talk to the cullens- they did. But Y/N was not like that. She was stubborn as a mule, and Embry knew better than to try to treat her like that. She was a free woman who refused to bend to whatever others wanted.

Embry grew up respecting women. Growing up with his mom made him realize how strong women are. Tiffany didn't need a man's presence, money, or help to raise her son. He knew felt proud to have his mom. He loved her almost as much as he loved Y/N. Which is an insane amount considering Y/N was his life.

Sitting on the counter with Embry standing between her legs, she knew shit was serious. His wide brown eyes held sorrow and fear as he explained how dangerous the witches could potentially be. And that he knew she hated trying to be told what to do, but she would save him loads of worrying if she would please listen.

Y/N solemnly agreed because she knew that this matter was serious. What she didn't realize was that he would be absent so much. She missed him. Having him home would make the time fly by. His very presence was all that she needed. Craved it.

Y/N had a sudden idea. Having a hammock would be nice. Two beautiful oak trees rooted close by would be a wonderful place to hang one. She could read on it, paint on it, and stare at the sky for hours. She blushed as images of her and embry on it ran through her mind.

Leaving was a bad idea. Her mind said, no. Be smarter than that. Her heart said that she wanted that hammock and needed it. She bit her lip as she glanced at the clock. Embry wouldn't even know. Y/N decided she would lie and say she had the thing all along if he were to ask about it.

That's it, she was going. She went, got it, and felt great. Happy. Fulfilled. Excited to put it up.

She was halfway home when her car slowly halted. Gas pedal was down but the car was not moving.

"What the fuck?!" She stated, hitting the gas pedal a few times. Y/N groaned as she threw her head back. If she wasn't home soon she would be found by a very angry and dissapointed wolf. A metaphorical dog house, ironically.

Tapping left to her head made Y/N jump, screams rippling out of her throat. Hand on her throat in surprise she turned.

Gorgeous piercing green eyes looked expectantly at her. Tattoos spread down her arms, but they were almost unnoticeable due to the black hair cascading over them. Y/N swore that she never saw such beautiful hair before.

The woman had a calm look on her face, but she was intimidating none the less. She opened the car door and all Y/N could do was watch as her heart beat out of her chest.

"Wolf girl.... Could sense you miles away." She said, leaning on the door.

"Im- uh- hah, I'm not a wolf..." Y/N stammered, clinging to her seat belt in fear. Embry was for sure going to scold her for hours now.

"An imprint, whatever. You have association with them. It's simple. See, you came from La Push, their territory. No one goes there really. So you're a wolf girl one way or the other."

Y/N sheepishly nodded, glancing away from the woman and to her phone. Maybe if she got ahold of Embry he could save her before anything happened. Her hand twitched to grab it but suddenly she gasped, crippling pain invading her body.

Y/N cried out in pain as she sank into the seat. An instant headache crept up the back of her head as tears spilled.bShit shit shit. This witch meant business, and wasn't scared to use powers already.

Flame like feeling stopped and Y/N gasped for breath in her driver seat. She hit the steering wheel a few times in frustration.

"God, maybe use your words next time?" Y/N venomously spat, glaring at the green eyes witch.

"Waste of my breath, hun. Girl talk isn't girl talk if you call your wolf man."

"Don't want girl talk." Y/N mumbled, still calming down from being hurt. She didn't want to anger her but sometimes it was hard to bite her tongue.

"Let's cut to the chase. You need to tell the wolves to lay off. Stop pacing around our area. Witch business is none of their concern" The witch knelt down and got closer to Y/N's face.

"Tell them that... You think they listen to me? Sure, I'm an imprint and I can voice my opinion, but the pack does as it chooses. I have no power over them." Y/N softly said.

"Seduction. You own your wolf. I'm familiar with how imprinting works. You control this man's life! So don't give me that 'I can't control anything' speech. You can and will relay the message."

Anger coursed through Y/N's veins. How dare the asshole witch act like Y/N can just suck off Embry and then he does whatever she says? He didn't own her, and she didn't own him. Insinuating that Embry was Y/N's toy made her want to scream. She kept calm and shook her head.

"You're oh so wrong..." Y/N mumbled shaking her head, "You should've talked to them because Embry is not going to be happy when he finds out you did this. Infuriated, actually."

"Wow, so Embry is his name? It's a handsome one, truth be told." The witch stood back up.

"Don't."

The witch's tongue poked out to wet her lips before she spoke in a scary calm tone, "Do as I say...you'll live. Simple. task. Look, I'm not stupid, I would never face a wolf alone and right now I'm the only one home. But you see, 'm getting rather fed up with all the sneaking around our place. I'm actually angrier than I thought...."

"shit" Y/N whispered

The witch looked at Y/N thoughtfully, "Maybe if I hurt you a bit, they would get the hint..."

Y/N shook her head, "You said you know about imprinting, but obviously not enough because going after a wolf is idiotically stupid. They're sacred. Not to be messed with. They would die for us."

At that moment snarking was heard. Y/N felt a tear of happiness roll down her cheek as she felt relief rush through every cell in her body like a river that had been dammed up. Embry was about to save her ass.

The witch jumped around in time to see Embry approach. She flicked her wrist as if to hurt him the way she hurt Y/N, but she was quickly jumped on by Bella. Bella choked her so that she would pass out.

Jacob ran out of the woods to help Bella tie up the woman's arms and legs. Embry shifted back, scrambling to throw on shorts and racing to your side.

His hands grasped her face as he checked her for any injuries. His stony expression broke as he cried out in relief, kissing Y/N's face all over.

"Baby, thank God we found you!" Em exclaimed, hugging her to his chest. Tears flowed down her face. That witch scared the daylight of out Y/N, and Embry saved her life.

°°°°

Hours later Embry sat with his chin on the edge of the bathtub while his lovely imprint sat inside of it. Bubbles filled the area up to her chest. Embry's heightened eyes couldn't see anything besides her shoulders and head. Her hair sat delicately in a bun to avoid getting damp.

Embry smiled smittenly at how pretty she looked in the candle light. Her doe eyes stared back at him equally lovingly. She blushed, looking away and sinking deeper into the water.

Baths always made her feel better, and after the day the imprint had, she needed one. As soon as they got home Embry ran the water and helped her in.

50's music softly played through the bluetooth speaker as the couple shared such an intimate moment.

Embry interlocked one of his hands with his imprint's soapy ones, "Thought I was gonna lose you today..." He murmured, brining the interlocked hands up so that he could kiss hers.

"For a while there, me too..."

Embry whimpered and kissed her hand a few times to center himself. Seeing that witch in front of his soulmate awakened things inside of him that he never knew he had in him.

He wanted to rip the witch's limbs slowly one by one, her screams echoing through the land. He wanted the witch bitch to beg for mercy and apologize relentlessly until her last breathe. But then his eyes moved to his scared girlfriend, and all he thought about was getting to her as soon as he could. Holding her in his strong arms and assuring her that all would be okay.

"Talked to Jake and I'm not patrolling for a while. Can't leave you again." He said with every fiber of his heart.

Y/N nodded, understanding that his inner wolf was still going crazy from the danger she had been in. She felt guilty for being dumb enough to leave the house over a hammock.

"Thank you for not yelling at me. I deserve it, like big time. I went to buy a fucking hammock. All of this, over a fun outside prop..." Y/N ranted, angry with herself.

"I was going to, but three seconds after I realized you were in danger... Scolding you was the last thing on my mind. Telling you to stay home and then never being there was hard on you, I get that. I'm sorry." He confessed.

Embry blamed himself. He knew Y/N hated being at home and with him not being there, she would hate it even more. His Y/N was a social woman and restricting that wasn't right. Not without him keeping her company.

"Apology isn't necessary, but thank you. Im a grown woman who should have more common sense."

A comfortable silence settled over the pair. Embry stroked his thumb across her hand as her eyes fluttered shut. She was tired and he could tell.

"Love bug, why don't we dry you off and go to bed? We could both use sleep, hmm?"

She sleepily nodded.

Ten minutes later Embry spooned Y/N, squeezing her close as he could without hurting her. He felt her body shake a bit. Concern filled his face as he lifted up to look at her through the moon light.

"Y/n?"

She turned and instead of crying, she was laughing. Laughing so hard that her body was shaking. Embry slightly smiled, unaware of how to react.

"I bought a hammock today. I risked my life... For a hammock. But hey," she laughed harder, "now we can use it whenever. Because we have so much time alone. Trapped here."

Embry now grinned. He knew she was delirious and tired, but he thought it was cute, "We can lay in it tomorrow, all day. Just us." He whispered, nuzzling his nose agaisnt her cheek.

Y/N stopped laughing, "Id like nothing more. I'm so in love with you," she whispered suddenly serious. He felt his heart flutter as her lips brushed against his. He lost his breath as she kissed the corner of his mouth.

"Tease" he mumbled, caressing her face to bring her in for a propper kiss. She hummed as she pulled her wolf closer to her, drugged by his closeness. His warm body heat made her toasty as he slipped his tongue in her mouth. She slightly pulled away.

"Warm me up, wolf boy." She said, kissing him once again. Embry almost lost his Y/N, but God was she alive with him at 2 am. Very alive.

[finding-the-daylight]

Twilight Headcanon: Everyone is a Thriving Adult (part 2). This one will be focusing on the Cullen family (since I started by writing about Edward and Bella). Part 3 will be about the wolfpack. If there are any other specific characters you’d like me to add in to this au, let me know. Also, I am very flattered by the comments asking me to turn this into a fic. Y’all are so sweet and it’s so appreciated.🥺💖 However, I am not gifted at writing dialogue or in story format, so if any of y’all wanna take this and run with it, feel free. That being said, here we go. I’m putting it below the break because it’s long af. They’re a big family. 

Carlisle Cullen’s backstory remains largely the same. The biggest difference is that he was the head pastor of a church and he had leading vampire hunts on his own for quite a few years. He had lived to be 40 years old, so as far as his society was concerned, he had already lived a good, long life (the average life expectancy was 35-45 years during this time). However, during a hunt, he was turned the same way he was in the og Twilight story. Waking up, though he was disgusted with what he was, he realized he had a tremendous gift - he was no longer limited by a short life. Despite his fear of what this may mean for his eternity and afterlife, he was determined to use all the time he had been given to help others. It took him about 100 years, but after he got his thirst under control, he began to practice medicine. Due to his vampirism, he was able to work with medical professionals from varying cultures throughout the world. This allowed him to create many medical breakthroughs that no mere mortal could. Often, research would be published under the name of a student-in-training he was working with as to protect his identity, but he continued to learn. Though he did feel lonely at times, he didn’t feel the need to create a coven of his own. He only began to when asked and when it became a personal matter. In present day of this au (where Edward and Bella have already met as mentioned in part 1), Carlisle and Edward consistently work together to bring about advancements in medicine. He is the lead doctor at Forks Hospital and he works with some of the most prestigious universities (under a pseudonym of course). He also donates large sums of money to help set up volunteer hospitals where patients in need can receive free healthcare (because healthcare ain’t cheap in the US). 

Esme and Carlisle meet for the final time when she’s 40 and that’s when he turns her. In their time apart (she and Carlisle ran into each other several times throughout her human life), Esme began working and earning her own income. She worked as an artist and sold paintings. It didn’t generate amazing income, but it was good enough. On the side, she held writing classes and worked as a tutor. The last years of her human life were some of her best. She ran into Carlisle at the hospital where he realized she was sick. He then, with her permission, turned her. The two began to fall in love almost immediately and Esme didn’t mind being a vampire as she had lived a decent life (her loving husband [this is my au and nothing bad happens here let me have this please lmao] had passed on and her child had grown and moved out) and would now have eternity to accomplish even more.

Y’all already know about Edward, you got that in part 1. His mom asked Carlisle to change him when he was sick except he was 28 and not 17. 

Rosalie deserved better and I hate basically everything about how she was written so this is my au. Rosalie’s parents were always trying to set her up with one man or another, but she wanted to become educated and live a life of freedom. She wasn’t opposed to marriage with someone she truly loved, and she liked the idea of a family, but only if it was with the right person. This led her to distance herself from her family and make friends with the neighbors two doors down. Rosalie was actually close to the Cullen family prior to Carlisle turning her. She and Edward got along cordially, she was 25 when they first met. There was no attraction between the two and Carlisle was well aware. At this point, all three vampires had extreme control of their bloodlust and enjoyed having the company of this bubbly human. She always had a smile on her face and viewed Esme as a second mother. During the day, Rosalie would sip tea and paint with Esme in the garden. Though she knew she would probably never end up working, she was always interested in Carlisle’s work and the two often studied together. After spending so much time with the Cullen family, Rosalie figured out what they were. She told them, and unfortunately, Carlisle had an upcoming visit with the Volturi. Aro, having his gift, demanded that the girl be changed. Rosalie was absolutely heartbroken, but trusted Carlisle immensely. She mourned her human life, but knew she would at least having a loving family after being changed. Thus when she was changed, she felt like she belonged in the family and it was never for Edward’s benefit. Though she didn’t exactly love being a vampire, she loved her family and that was what mattered most. This is also why she was so angry with Edward for bringing Bella around. As much as she loved the Cullens, Rosalie didn’t want Bella to be faced with the same dilemma. Had it been an option, she would’ve still chosen to stay human, but she’s nowhere near as upset as canon Rosalie because she enjoys the perks of her new life (unlimited education, being viewed as an equal by her family, supernatural abilities to help others, etc). AND when she was changed, it was because her family loved her and for no other reason. 

Emmett’s backstory I’m also not really going to get into too much because I don’t know much about him as a character (we were robbed). Same thing though, he’s in the same age range as Rosalie. Emmett loved hunting and lived for the thrill of the chased. Aside from this, he studied biology with a special focus on zoology. The man basically loved studying how animals work. Rosalie found him after the bear attack and took him to Carlisle because she had never seen someone so hurt before. Carlisle rescued him and that’s that.

These are all of the backstories I wanted to touch on for the Cullen family. Basically I wanted to make life better for the characters and get rid of the sexism. 

[hyungbean]

Lost and Found | Jasper Hale

Request: Hello first I love your writing you are very talented.Could you do a Jasper Hale, where he meets the reader at the time he was with Maria, they fall in love, but seeing that the reader could come to disrupt their future plans Maria "kills" the reader (she thinks the reader is dead but not). After many years, the two meet again. During the time they were apart he stayed with Alice, so because of that he ends up not sure what to do. If possible could make a happy ending. Thank you.

Genre: Angsty-ish, Fluff

A/N: AHH I’m sorry I didn’t follow the request exactly, I forgot to double check the request but I had already finished writing it :( ! But this one is kinda long ! ALSO I’m so dumb and accidentally deleted my masterlist so I’m reposting it again.

masterlist

It was chilly, that was the first thing you noticed when your eyes peeled open and focused on the twinkling stars above you. You had been turned into a vampire a few months ago and have been traveling from place to place, never really settling down in one particular area. 

A nomad of sorts. 

Sitting up you scan the area around you, making out the shadows of the pine trees and sprouting grass. Not a moment later you sense two figures running in your direction at an inhuman speed, tensing as you realize that you were about to be confronted by two vampires. 

A split second later you’re met with the sight of a beautiful black-haired woman who bore the same blood red eyes as yours. Beside her is the most handsome man you had ever seen, his wavy blonde hair falling down and framing his pale face. 

“Hello child.” The woman’s voice cuts through the tense atmosphere like a warm knife cuts through butter, her voice smooth although you can detect the mistrust. 

“Hello.” You keep your expression blank and your posture tall, trying to put on a tough facade. In your short amount time of being a vampire you learned quickly that the timid and cowardly ones never lasted too long on their own. You didn’t trust these two strangers but something in your gut told you to go with them. 

“Are you on your own?” This time it was the cute boy who spoke, his voice was warm and carried through the air in a rough texan accent. You felt yourself stare at him with wide eyes, smiling unconsciously. To your surprise he reciprocated the gesture, smirking at you.

“Yeah. I’ve just been on my own, I got turned a couple of months ago. The nomad lifestyle can get lonely though. I’m Y/N by the way.” You clamp your mouth shut, realizing that you were spilling unneeded information to them.  The two raise their eyebrows and share a look of understanding, one that you couldn’t decipher. Shifting uncomfortably, you back up and try to hide in the shadows as they silently communicate. Before you could make your grand escape, the woman suddenly snaps her gaze to you, smiling wickedly. 

“How would you like to join my coven?” The chirping of crickets were the only thing that the trio could hear before you stepped forward, looking at the blonde boy. 

Not taking your eyes off of him you smiled, “why not.” 

It had been a couple of months since you had joined the mysterious woman’s coven, you quickly learned her name was Maria and the handsome blonde was her right hand man, Jasper. At first it seemed they had something going on but it soon dissipated when you and Jasper locked eyes when you were alone, a surge of warmth and giddiness coursing through the hollow veins of your body.

Maria thought nothing of your relationship with Jasper at first since she was confident in her manipulation skills, but she soon realized that you were Jasper’s true mate. Although since the two of you didn’t know the true extent to your bond, you didn’t pursue a relationship since the tasks of the coven always came first.

You learned quickly that you were a natural at fighting, dedicating your skills and time into training the newborns. Along with that, you discovered that some vampires had powers that made them more powerful than normal vampires to an extent. Much to Maria’s dismay, you happened to have quite powerful powers; you were able to mimic other vampire’s powers which made you quite possibly the most powerful vampire that existed. 

The discovery evolved randomly when you touched Jasper’s hands and suddenly new emotions radiated in your body, vibrating through the cells of your body. When Jasper learned of your abilities, he was ecstatic, not only was the girl he like a total badass but it also meant that Maria was obligated to keep you around.

At least that’s what he thought. 

“Hey Jasper, Maria said that she wants me to come with her to complete a small task.” You walk towards the blonde with a bright smile, your red eyes glistening from the glow of the moon. Jasper raises his eyebrows at the strange request but keeps quiet nonetheless, knowing how much impressing Maria means to you. 

“Be careful please.” He says pouting, pulling you into his embrace. 

“When am I not?” 

Over the past few weeks you and Jasper had grown closer and closer and now had developed a secret relationship. You guys knew Maria did not tolerate distractions so you had to keep quiet and hope that no one would catch you guys. 

Unbeknownst to you guys, Maria had already found out about the affair almost right as it began. She was beyond angry but she maintained her composure, not giving away any sign that she knew, but her anger was bubbling over and she planned to smooth things out that night.

You and Maria were currently running away from the coven base and deeper into the dense forest. After an hour of running or so she suddenly came to a stop on the edge of a cliff, the drop nearly 200 feet high into an angry river, beating against the rocks. 

Crossing your arms you go to stand next to her as you look into the distance. 

“So what was the task you needed me for?” 

She doesn’t take her eyes off of the views but you visibly notice her posture go rigid and a sinking feeling flows through your stomach. Every cell of your body is telling you that something is wrong and you start shifting away from the older vampire only for her to turn and face you. 

It was as if her eyes had casted you in an ice block, your body seemed frozen and you could only watch as her face shines in distaste.

“You know Y/N, when we first met I thought that you were intriguing and when your powers evolved I couldn’t be more happy to have such a useful asset in my coven. But you’ve betrayed me, you’ve gone and done the unforgivable.” 

Your mouth goes dry at her words, unable to process what she was accusing you of doing. 

“I’m sorry for this, but you can’t have him. I need him still.” If it was possible, her eyes seemed to glow a brighter red, a window into the rage that she kept hidden for all these months. 

Before you could respond she roughly shoves you over the mini-cliff, your body crashing harshly into the water. Before the world goes black you feel your head smacking against a cold rock and the sound of your body cracking. 

That night Maria ran back to the base in fake panic to break the news that you were attacked by an enemy coven on the way to pick up resources, and how you had bravely sacrificed yourself for her. 

That night Jasper mourned your death in quiet sobs as Maria held him close to his chest, at peace as she was finally fully in control again. 

That night your body was dragged out of the water by a wandering nomad, surviving Maria’s attempt on your life unbeknownst to her. 

It had been nearly two centuries since you last saw Jasper, not that you were keeping count. 

You definitely were.

A lot had changed since then, you finally became a vegetarian and you cut your hair shorter. Now you had finally found a place to settle down for the next five years or so before you would have to find somewhere else to move. 

It was only a matter of time before people start noticing that you looked exactly the same from when you first moved into town. 

As you picked up the last box from your car you hear someone yell ‘hey’, and because no one else was outside you could only assume that they were talking to you. 

Furrowing your eyebrows you turn around and see your neighbor, a tall man with a sheriff’s uniform, getting out of his car followed by a younger girl who refused to look at you directly. 

“Hello there! You must be our new neighbor. I’m Charlie Swan and this is my daughter Bella.” 

Smiling kindly at the man, you balance the box on your knee and stick your hand out for them to shake. As Bella shakes your hand, you look her in the eyes and she seems startled and visibly gulps.

“I’m Y/N L/N, pleasure.”

“Your eyes..” She mumbles, stepping back and staring at you. 

Charlie chuckles awkwardly before looking at your eyes again, “Oh wow they are beautiful.. do you have any family here because I swear your eyes are identical to the Cullens.” 

Hiding your shock with confusion, you tilt your head to the side, lifting up the box again. 

“Nope, no family here. My parents are in LA right now and they’re paying for me to live here for a while because they’re convinced since I’m almost 18 I can handle myself. Besides they could use the alone time.” The lie rolls off your lips naturally, already used to lying on the spot from two decades of experience.

Charlie nods understandingly but you notice Bella isn’t too convinced, from the frown she pulls.

“Well it was nice meeting you Y/N, but Bella and I will be on our way now.” 

Nodding, you wish them farewell, catching the unsure glance Bella threw at you. 

She couldn’t have known could she? 

It had been a couple of days since you met Charlie and Bella and ever since, Bella had been quite nice to you and you hoped that whatever happened the first day you met was all in your imagination. 

As you were finishing up the decorations in the hallway, someone rings your doorbell and you open it to find a nervous Bella smiling at you. 

“Hey Y/N.. this is last minute but I was wondering if you wanted to catch a movie or something.” Smiling brightly, you nod to her request, quickly grabbing your keys and throwing on your shoes, excited to finally get to know the shy girl. 

Not much later you were sitting in the passenger seat of Bella’s truck, driving to her friend’s house really quickly so she could grab something she left there. You didn’t mind, you liked long car rides and you had no intention of leaving the vehicle anyway. 

“Woah. Your friends sure have a nice ass house, I could never afford to live in such a nice place.” You pulled up into the driveway of a large house with larger than necessary windows, it was in a nice and quiet opening surrounded by the forest trees.

As Bella gets out of the car, she sees that you’re not making any move to get out with her. 

“Oh are you staying in the car?” 

“Yeah I just figured it’d be awkward if I just walked into their house without actually knowing them and stuff.” 

She nods hesitantly and slams the door before walking towards the house, glancing back at you when she reached the door. Your eyebrows raise at how weird she was acting but you figured she was just naturally like that. 

Leaning the seat back, you decide to take a quick rest while you wait for her. Not even five minutes after you lean back in the chair you hear Bella screaming frantically inside the house. 

“Y/N! Please help!” Without a second thought you practically rip her car door off, sprinting towards the house. You quickly kick the door down and run into the nice house, finding Bella standing in the middle of a room with a group of people behind her.

“Stop your cult ritual folks! You can’t have her! Bella are you-” Your sentence is cut short when you realize that she’s perfectly okay and actually holding hands with one of the boys. 

“You’re okay?” Now you were beyond confused, but she just shrugged. 

“I had to get you inside to meet the Cullens. Guys this is Y/N. She’s a vampire too.” You go rigid as you look at the group of pale people, realizing that Bella had acted weird around you because she knew you were a vampire.

Damnit you knew you should have worn contacts.

As your eyes trail through the group your mouth goes dry as you make eye contact with a star struck blonde man. But he wasn’t just any blonde man, he was Jasper. 

Your Jasper.

“Jasper?” 

“Y/N?”

“You’re not married to Maria?” “You’re alive?”

You both speak over each other as the others stare at you guys in confusion and disbelief. Without warning, he rushes over to you and picks you up by the waist, spinning you around. 

You bury your face into the crook of his neck as his strong arms tighten around you. He pulls away first but keeps you at arms length, staring deep into your identical golden eyes. 

“What happened? You just left with Maria and then she comes back and tells me you died.. it was so hard without you.” His voice cracks at the end of his sentence, mumbling quietly but you know everyone can hear him.

“She tried to kill me, and she almost did but another nomad saw it happen and dragged me out of the water..Garret. An old friend of mine.” You explained watching as his features morph from relief to slight anger. 

“But it’s okay.. we're okay.” 

He nods hesitantly before cupping your face and pulling you in for a kiss. You missed the feeling of his lips molding against yours. You run your hands through his hair, forgetting about your audience. 

Pulling away for air you peck his lips before hugging him again.

“That was long overdue.”

And for the first time in a long time you felt that everything was going to be okay.

[stanathanxoox]

Mum and Dad

gif is mine

Anonymous said:

Could you do a Halloween Carlisle/Esme x reader where she’s the daughter of Hades but like, the forgotten Demigod so she usually just walks around with a ghost she befriended and maybe she gets into a fight with one of the cullens and she summons a whole army and they try talk it out with her and offer her a home and to get to know her, and eventually they want to adopt their godly child and her ghostly friend and R accidentally calls them mom and dad

Your walking through the forest with your friend and only companion these days, Brontë. The two of you were talking about how far you'd fallen in such a short amount of time. You had been your father's pride and joy, though the less common daughter of his that was known to the world, you had always been his little girl. That is until you feel for the grandson of Tartarus, a lion who could transform into a human whilst on earth, Nemean. He was the happiest part of your life until Nemean was banished back to the underworld by Zeus and Poseidon. You had hated your uncles for ruining your happiness but they swore that Nemean was going to cause too much damage on earth and destroy mankind. Because of the fall out between you and your uncles, you had been banished from the heavens and they had forbidden you from setting foot in here as well. Your only communication with your father was through your prized necklace that you always carried with you. You stumble into a clearing and find someone fighting an animal, another on the other side, the vampires look over at you, teeth bared as they charge at you, within seconds your powers are protecting you, the spirits of the dead forming a shield and your deadly scent begins seeping through the air.

“Edward, Rosalie stop” a voice calls out and you turn to see who has joined you. Two friendly-looking faces stand at the opposite side of the clearing and they race towards the other vampires. When the vampires lower their guard and take a couple of tentative steps away Brontë turns to you and says

“Y/N, I think you can lower the shield now” you look over at Brontë and nod, slowly lowering your shield and recalling your scent to you.

“What was that?” one of the vampires asks

“Are you a vampire?” another asks and you shake your head

“No I am not a vampire” you say and they all raise an eyebrow

“So what are you then?” one of the older vampires ask and you look towards Brontë who just shrugs. Taking a deep breath you say

“I'm Y/N, demigod and daughter of Hades of the Underworld” you say, and the blonde lady bursts out laughing at you. You raise an eyebrow, before the others quieten her as the blonde one steps forward

“No, I remember something about her in the history books. She was Hades and Persephone's favourite daughter but when she fell in love with Nemean the lion her uncles banished him back to the underworld and banished her to earth, not a lot of people talk about her because nobody really remembers that she was a part of history”. You nod along to what he said, as the others gasp

“Wait, so your truly a demigod?” the blonde lady asks and you nod

“Yes” you say

“How old are you?” she asks and you raise an eyebrow before you say

“Nearly 3600 years old, I'm the youngest of Hades children”. You watch as their jaws all drop.

“Wow, and here I thought Carlisle had seen everything being over 300 years old” you snort.

“Not quite, he hasn't seen all the wars that I have seen” you say before shaking yourself.

“Well, I feel incredibly rude. We know who you are but we haven't introduced ourselves” the brunette woman says before she points out each person “that is Rosalie, Edward, my husband Carlisle and I am Esme” she gives you a warm smile and you nod

“Its nice to meet you all. Honestly, I haven't had any physical company in over 100 years. This is my friend Brontë, she was the last person who I connected with and when she was dying my father cheated a little and set her spirit free, she's been following me around ever since” you say as Brontë makes herself visible to the others, giving them a wave and a shy

“Hello” before disappearing again.

“That must be incredibly lonely” Esme says and you nod

“Well yes but I've spent most of my life alone”.

It's not long before the Cullens invite you and Brontë back to their house and you're introduced to the rest of the Cullen coven. You quickly learn that these are the best types of vampires you had met in a long time. You wanted the world for them and when they offered you a spot to join them in their family you didn't even have to think about it. It was nice to feel wanted by someone again, even Brontë was accepted by the coven, quickly forming a very special bond with Renesmee and Jacob something that had surprised you. Having never been to school before, you were set to join Renesmee in her first year at high school in Forks, though she was a sophomore and you were coming in as a junior. The two of you would hang out and eat lunch together, work on assessments at the library at school and complain about the workload as the two of you progressed through the year. You quickly began acing all of your tests and exams, having lived through all of these events and being there to experience a lot of them first hand. At the end of your first school year, you and Renesmee rushed through the front doors after school, both of you holding up your report cards as you rush up the stairs and enter the lounge, Renesmee running over to Edward and Bella as you rush over to Carlisle and Esme, holding up your report card as you say

“Guess what? All A+ baby!” you say as you hold out your report card, feeling giddy, you had even managed to pass PE with an A+, a shock to you as you really did not enjoy that subject.

“Oh that's great sweetie” Esme says as she wraps her arms around you, and Carlisle places his hand on your shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze as he says with a happy smile

“We're proud of you Y/N”. You squeal in delight before throwing your arms around both of them and whisper

“Thank you so much mum and dad”. Feeling the two of them still, everyone in the room is watching you, you pull back from the hug before you awkwardly try and explain away what you had just said. Esme is the first to recover and she pulls you close.

“Don't you dare take that back Y/N. We are honoured that you think of us that way” she says placing a kiss on your forehead and you smile, as tears spring to your eyes

“Its true, we love you a lot Y/N. We would be honoured if you would truly like to join our family?” Carlisle asks and you look between the two, before you look around at the others who are all smiling at you, giving you gentle smiles

“I would love too. It's so nice to feel like I belong again” you say and Esme pulls you in for a hug, Carlisle pulls the two of you in, before Renesmee joins in, and slowly the others are hugging you too. It's one of the most special moments of your existence, you take a deep breath, looking down at the ground, hoping that your father is happy for you and the little family you had found.

Tag List: @tiva-jenry-caskett-rizzles-densi, @jimmybpride, @dressed-up-just-like-z1ggy, @nikkiwierden, @samchelforever007, @kirkspockbones, @xoncisxncislaxncisnolaox, @lasalle-pride-sebastian-love, @haliannej, @brooklyn-99-amyxjake​, @mizzezm, @genius2050, @twilight-twihard, @cullencoven2019, @captainxholmes, @luciferxchloeislove, @drethanramsey-ismybabe

Tag List for Twilight: @jasper-babyxx

[therealvinelle]

Thank you guys for the list! Such good food! TT0TT If you don't mind me staying on the Book v Movie topic, I wanna know what your thoughts on Charlie and Renee are with both (like who is better for Bella). B!Charlie likes the Cullens right off the bat(big ol' Carlisle man crush, but who could blame him)BUT he really shows his ass when it comes to Jake, while M!Charlie seems all around chiller. Both Renees seem more or less the same but that could be we just don't see enough of her in either. -Sw

(Anon is referring to this post.)

Glad you liked it!

Charlie I think was adapted pretty well, he’s not the exact same but his part in the story is to be Bella’s lonely and gruff but devoted father, and he did that perfectly.

I’m not by default opposed to changing characters a bit in an adaption, not at all. I’m not even opposed to radical changes. One of my all-time favorite movies, Total Recall, lifted only the premise of its source material, apart from that the story goes a completely different place. It understood the spirit of the short story it was based on, “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale”, and made a fantastic movie out of it. Quite notably, the short story is a very typical short story, and there are things in it that I don’t think would translate well to screen. “Total Recall” is the best place they could have gone with it.

I was going somewhere with this...

Ah, yes.

Charlie of the movies gives a slightly different vibe than Charlie of the books, but I don’t mind that at all.

When it comes to his response to the kiss, I was going to write that in defense of book!Charlie, it doesn’t come across clearly that Bella was in fact assaulted, he just sees his daughter squabbling with the guy he’s sure is right for her, and that he wants it to be lover’s quarrel so he laughs it off. Well, I reread it, and fucking hell, Charlie. It’s made very clear she was kissed against her will, and he could not more thoroughly side with Jake. It’s to the point where I don’t think this guy should be sheriff at all, nevermind in a small town, because I don’t trust that he’d act with integrity if he were called to a home for domestic disturbance and happened to be buddies with the wifebeater.

The only thing that can be said in his defense here is that it’s his best friend’s kid, he’s watched Jacob grow up, he believes down to his very core that Jacob is good. He loves his daughter, so it’s not like he thinks people assaulting her is funny. I think his strong bias in Jake’s favor and even stronger desire to see Bella with the guy who’ll be good for her clouds his judgement.

Still, this is just... nope. No. I sincerely hope he leaves his biases at home when doing his job, or Forks is gonna be a pretty miserable place to live.

Back to your question, I’m glad the movies took that out. It was a moment that said a lot about Charlie, but none of us wanted to see that.

I do think the movies should have been more clear on Charlie’s hatred on Edward. He’s not just hating on his daughter’s boyfriend because that’s what fathers do, he was a fan. It was New Moon that saw him alienated, he hated Edward for what he did to Bella. That she then went back to him was in Charlie’s mind an unmitigated disaster, which only got worse when she ghosted on Jacob. The intensity of his Jake/Bella shipping was also played down, I get why but considering how boring that love triangle was, Charlie’s parental angst was the most interesting part so I wish they’d had him less Generic Shovel Talk Father.

Book Charlie had very good reason to feel the way he did about these two guys, movie Charlie is just dishing out shovel talks.

But, let me be clear, I liked movie Charlie.

As for Renée, I agree that she’s the same. I’ll say this, though, the thing about her is that in the books we meet Bella, then meet Renée and go “Oh, so that’s why Bella’s like that”. In the movies, Bella had a lobotomy (can’t for the life of me find the right meta. Have this link that touches on the same thing instead!) so there’s no mother complex for Renée to explain. Renée is unchanged, but her context is not.

So, I’ll say with caveats that the movies did well by Charlie and Renée.

[sheyshen]

Lyra Trevelyan (headcanons)

She's the youngest of five and the only girl and mage.

Her family kept the fact she had magic secret until she accidentally caught the stables on fire when fighting with her brothers.

Was sent to the Ostwick circle, but was allowed to go home for family events, which were fairly often.

She had very few friends in the circle and mostly kept to herself and her studies.

Her one friend that she was closest to was a templar that was about her age. They would spend what little free time they had together sharing stories about the things they've seen in the circle, tales from home, things she'd read

He taught her how to use a sword and shield since he wasn't very good and kept losing during sparring sessions with the other recruits and wanted to learn against someone of a similar skill

He also claimed that "magic is too unreliable. A spell could fail or be turned against you, but a sword is different. Steel won't stop working just because you're tired"

She picked it up quickly and ended up better than him with the sword. though her blocking wasn't always the best.

They were still good friends by the time the rebellion happened, he had gone to stay at her family's home to keep them safe when she was asked to accompany a representative of the mages to the conclave.

He thought her dead after news of the breach reached them and was pleasantly shocked to learn that she ended up being titled herald and more so when she became inquisitor

They reunited when he accompanied a group of templars and mages that wanted to join the inquisition

She prefers defensive magics normally, but she enjoys a little fire and lightning here and there.

She specialized as a knight enchanter due to the versatility of it and her previous skill with a blade.

It took her a while to get used to using a spectral blade instead of a physical one.

She had another close friend in the circle that had gone with her to the conclave, but she died in the blast.

They had spent the better portion of their lives together, and learning she had died was a huge blow.

In the inquisition, she's closest with Cullen (they're together), Dorian, Cassandra, and Varric. And greatly respects Vivienne.

She prefers to wear rogue leathers to mage robes but has them lined with ring velvet for comfort. (Also she loves the color teal)

She wears a flower crown almost constantly and is well known for her positive attitude and flowers in her hair to her friends and allies

Those that have earned her wrath, however, compare her to a revenant and that image has stuck in rumors.

She already had so much thrust upon her due to rumors so she did what anyone else would do and started keeping a revenant helmet just in case.

While she loves her room in Skyhold, she often ends up sleeping in Cullen's bed, even before they were actively banging.

It was initially because she was lonely, and developed into just wanting to spend time with Cullen since they were both quite busy almost constantly

She has an extremely difficult time sleeping alone, and commonly would wander around until she passed out due to exhaustion. That’s stopped since she started sharing a bed with Cullen (while home at Skyhold) or with Cassandra or Dorian when in camp (usually the latter because cass kicked her in her sleep a handful of times now)

Her gauntlets are enchanted so she can wear the plating without gloves since she dislikes having things covering her hands. (Also my only explanation to how those things stay on honestly)

When she was growing up she always wanted to see the world, and as inquisitor, she's getting a chance to make that dream a reality

She's done what she's could to keep her family from getting involved in the inquisition but one of her brothers came down with her friend to join up

She does her best to spend time with the both of them, but between meetings with the advisors, running around skyhold to speak with her companions, taking a few moments to get some time with Cullen, and trying to help where she can she doesn't have much time to spend with them (She's grateful they seem to be close so she doesn't feel as bad that she has so little free time)

She was honestly a little afraid of Leliana when they first met, but she'd warmed up to her since. Morrigan mentioned that she used to sing when they traveled with Rana (my hof) and since then she's been dead set to hear her sing at least once

Doesn't like nugs all that much, she thinks they're cute but their little hands creep her out.

Had wanted a mabari since she was little, so was very excited when Cullen stole found one at the winter palace.

She gets along well with the wolves in the hinterlands and Crestwood. It confuses the hell out of her team, but every time she runs into some they immediately warm up to her and will follow her around for a while and have even helped them fight

She'll sometimes lounge around in Dorian's little window to read and chat with him. Other times shell lay in the grass by where Cassandra trains to do the same with her

She's been trying her hand at writing adventure stories and is using varric as the hero for one. She hasn't told him yet, but she thinks he'll like it when she's done. (Cullen in the only one who's read it so far, but she suspects Leliana probably has too)

She isn't religious at all, and dislikes the chantry. She likes the idea of it, that they're supposed to help everyone no matter their rank or race, but they don't and that bothers her.

She is in support of what the circle and templars were supposed to be, a place of learning and a force of protection from magic, but feels its become corrupted. She does hope that both can be rebuilt with those ideals under a new divine

She gets along well with hawke, almost terribly so.

She has been to other circles (kirkwall and the white spire are the most notable) while accompanying the grand enchanter or knight commander, but only for short times and she didn't wander from the group much.

out of her family she got along most with her mother, and as the youngest and only girl she was spoiled to no end before having to go to the circle.

Of the letters from home she's been getting, some have been proposals of marriage (almost as common as requests for help at this point). Cullen has started handing them off to Varric before they even get to her desk, to use as either kindling or reference for his books.

Her nickname from varric is siren. Since she often smells of the ocean, wears teal almost constantly, and has a cute face but can kill a man in more ways than he's comfortable with

The funny thing with that nickname is that she can't sing very well, she's a bit pitchy

[fatiguing-thoughts]

“New Moon” - Jasper Hale Miniseries Part 2

I woke up in the morning to an empty side of the bed next to me.

“No, no, no!” I exclaim, running my hands sporadically throughout the spot where Jasper laid next to me last night.

This couldn’t be real, but it was real.

I grabbed my phone off the desk and called Jasper.

“Sorry, the number you have called is out of service.”

I called the rest of the family, all the same. I wanted to scream, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My head was spinning, I was having a panic attack. I felt like I was dying.

Before I knew it, I hit the floor.

I woke up hours later, waking up to my living nightmare. It felt like my heart was ripped clean out of my chest, with no promise of return.

How could life rob me of the people I loved most in my life? Take away my families that gave me love, twice?

When the car accident happened on my way home from high school graduation, it killed my entire family. I was the only survivor. I moved to Washington to start a new life, I was too depressed to live in my home anymore, I couldn’t bare to live in that house. I moved to Olympia and attended Evergreen State College. Portland became too much for me, I had to go.

After I met Jasper and his family, things grew easier for me. The hole in my heart slowly filled. I felt loved again, people cared for me like a family. They loved and respected me; I was not lonely anymore. Holidays weren’t spent crying alone anymore, they were spent surrounded by love. I miss my family dearly but was grateful for a second chance for a family. But now, it was once again ripped from my hands at the hand of someone else.

 I stumbled over to my desk, looking at the pictures of my handsome boyfriend and myself. I noticed that he took one; I hope he looks at it as much as I look at them.

 I thought back to how I met Jasper. I was shopping in Port Angeles, as I like to drive and take road trips at any given chance. I ran into three beautiful women on that rainy day. The tiniest of the three, who I then learned was Alice, looked at me, stared blankly, and dropped what was in her hands at that time. The other two women turned to look at me, before going back to her. She whispered something to them. They all looked at me quizzically before approaching me. I hung out with them for quite some time, befriending them. I know now that she had a vision, she knew I was Jasper’s mate. Rosalie and I clicked very well. We exchanged numbers and agreed to hang out at some point. I spent the rest of the day with them. At one point their adoptive brother, Jasper, met up with us as he needed to shop too.

 When Jasper and I made eye contact, all of the air left my lungs. I almost collapsed to the floor, my knees buckled and I gripped onto Rosalie’s arm for support. Alice was smiling uncontrollably as the same thing seemed to happen to Jasper.

 “Hello, my name is Jasper Hale.” He says, reaching out his hand for me to take.

 “I’m (Y/N Y/L/N).” I said, short of breath, meeting my hand to his.

 He grabbed my hand and kissed it, causing me to blush uncontrollably.

The sweet memory caused me to smile, before heading back into reality.

The situation daunted on me, I was alone. I had nobody with me, wouldn’t have anyone with me for quite some time. My best friends, my family, my love-- they’re all gone without a trace.

 So I did what I could, I laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling for God knows how long. I had class in an hour and had to go, so I wouldn’t lose sight of my goal. Only now there was a new motive: to see Jasper sooner.

 I went to my class, but none of it felt real. It was all a blur. When I returned to my dorm room, I stared out my window.

 And that’s how I spent all of my time now, watching the world around me change as I stayed the same. I was too depressed to do anything extra. I went to class, tried to listen, and did the work I had to do. People spoke to me, but it fell upon deaf ears.

 I left Jasper and Rosalie voicemails on a daily basis. I wrote letters for Jasper daily, planning to give him them all at once when, even though it felt more like an if, I ever get to see him again.

 Being indefinitely separated from my mate left me feeling as if I was living in hell. My nightmares came back, and they came back worse.

 I would wake up screaming, having the RA banging on my door to see if I was okay, as people called it in thinking someone was dying. Though I wasn’t physically dying, I felt like I was. I was emotionally and mentally drained as the weeks went on. Weeks turned into months. By the time October rolled around, I still hadn’t talked to anyone. I was so isolated that I even forgot that other people attended this school.

 Until one day, a kid in my busines statistics class spoke to me.

 “Hey, do you know what we’re doing? I don’t really understand this.” He says to me, trying to smile in a friendly way.

 “Uh, yeah.” I say shyly.

 I explained the problem to him and turned my attention back towards the lecture.

“Thank you, (Y/N).” He said nicely.

“You know my name?” I said surprisingly. I was so down and lost in my own head, I never learned his name.

“Well, it is on your paper.” He said chuckling.

“Ah yes. That’s true. And your name?” I ask, trying to force myself to talk. After all, this is the most social interaction I’ve had since Jasper left a month ago.

“Mark. It’s nice to finally hear something out of you.” He teased.

I smiled back and chuckled out a “Yeah, that’s fair.”

The class came to an end and with that, I left to go sulk in my room.

Every class, Mark tried to talk to me more and more. He was very nice, I just didn’t feel a need to make any friends anymore.

“Hey listen (Y/N), I know you didn’t do anything for Halloween. Thanksgiving break is coming up in a couple of weeks. I think you need to have some fun. My friends and I are hanging out this weekend at my place. I think you should come by and try the whole, social, thing.” Mark kindly offers.

I sat and thought about it. What was there to lose? I didn’t necessarily want to go, but maybe it would be a nice distraction that wasn’t staring out my window all weekend.

“Ok Mark. I’ll stop by for a little while.” I said calmly.

“Oh wow, actually? That was easier than I thought.” He laughs.

He hands me his phone with a new contact page up. I add myself and hand the phone back.

The class ends and I head back to my dorm.

After sitting for about an hour looking out my window, my phone buzzes. It was Mark.

“So we’ll see you tomorrow at 6:30. Please try to have fun.”

“Yeah, I’ll be there. I’ll try my best.” I respond.

I started writing Jasper’s letter before I stare at the backpack I’ve yet to open.

I can’t explain why I couldn’t. I was just so nervous. But it was time. It’s been almost two months since the Cullens left.

I unzip the massive backpack and see an absurd amount of cash, some papers, and some little packages. I open the papers first. One is the address of the new apartment and the other two are sealed with my name on it.

I open the first one and see a receipt? I look closer and see that he had paid off the duration of my tuition here. I almost cried at the thought of it, and I would’ve if I had any tears left. 

I open the second one and see his handwriting. I stopped breathing for a second.

“Dear (Y/N),

         I’m so sorry for what is happening Darlin’. I hope this ends sooner than later because not being with you is the worst pain that I could ever fathom. I hope you treat yourself well, please take care of yourself. I can’t wait to see you again, my love. Soon enough, we’ll have forever together. Do well in school, it’s important. I left you what I think you’ll need in this bag, please don’t miss anything in it. I will see you soon enough, doll.

          Love always,

Jasper Whitlock Hale”

My tears dropped upon the paper. I opened the rest of the bag.

I saw a little rectangle box. I opened it and gasped. It was a necklace with a “J” on it. I held it close to my chest before putting it on.

It almost felt like he was real again. It felt like I wasn’t just imagining everything that happened to me.

I grabbed a picture of he and I before climbing into bed and holding it to my chest. I laid there until I fell asleep holding it.

When I woke up, it was 10 am. I did some homework and decided to finally go see the apartment that Jasper picked for me.

I ate some breakfast and got in my car. About an hour or so later, I pulled into the parking lot of a cute complex. I go up to mine and look around. It felt so empty despite being furnished. I walk into the kitchen and see a note on the counter. It was from Jasper.

“Hey Doll, it looks like you found the apartment. I hope you like what we’ve done with it for you.”

I almost instinctively crumpled the note up in my hands as I held it to my chest, but stopped myself. I put it back on the counter before finding my bedroom. It was customized just for me, that’s for sure. My eyes welled up with tears and I couldn’t control myself when I saw the framed picture of Jasper and I on the wall. I looked out the window and admired the view of the tree line. I missed my boyfriend more than anything. This was going to be hard. At about 4 or so, I decided to head back to school after dropping some of my stuff in the apartment.

 I get back and get ready to go to Mark’s hangout. This would not only be my first social setting in some time, but my first big group of people in months. I was so afraid I could get sick.

 I drive to the address that Mark gave me and let him know I was there. I looked around and noticed that this was definitely a frat house. Well, let’s hope for the best.

He came outside to come get me. I exited the car and followed him inside to see about 25 people in the living room and kitchen area. This was going to be a nightmare. 

“Hey (Y/N), thanks for coming. Can I get you something to drink?” Mark offers.

“No thank you, I have water with me.”

“What? You don’t want a shot or anything?” He asked me confused.

“Mark I’m driving. I also don’t drink, but thank you.” I tell him.

As I look around I become increasingly aware of the fact that I’m the only female here.

“Did I crash a boy’s night or something?” I ask him.

“No I just wanted everyone to meet you.” He says.

“Oh?” I said puzzled.

“Is this her? Is this (Y/N)?” A large man comes up and asks Mark,

“Yes it is.” Mark answered. “(Y/N), this is Joe.”

“Hi Joe. Nice to meet you.” I said shyly.

“Hello. You’re right Mark, she is really pretty. You should ask her out.”

Ah there it is, the reason I was invited.

“Please go away, Joe.” Mark said as he pushed Joe out of the conversation.

“Well…” Mark trails off, looking at me.

“Well what?” I ask back.

“Would you wanna go out some time?” He asked nervously.

“Mark, I’m flattered. Thank you but I’m actually with someone. It’s pretty serious. I appreciate the gesture, though.” I say nicely.

“So why are you alone all the time?” He asks me, with kind of annoyed tone.

“Because he’s not here right now?” I said questioning his tone.

“Well, let’s just get you to have some fun tonight.” He said, pulling me further into the house by my hand.

As I walk through, all I see is drunk men. I haven’t been this uncomfortable in so long.

I sit on the couch alone and look around. I check my phone, nothing.

“What’s a pretty girl like you sitting all alone for?” I hear from above me.

My stomach turned as I look up and see a guy about the size of Emmett.

Emmett. I miss my chaos twin. I miss them all so much.

I lost my track of thought when I felt the couch dip next to me and someone throwing their arm over my shoulder.

Once again, the feeling of nausea was returning. The pit in my stomach was turning.

“So, what’s your name? Jasmine? Jade? Am I close?” He says, reaching out to twiddle his fingers around my “J” necklace.

I quickly grab my necklace from his grasp.

“No, my name is (Y/N). The J is my boyfriend’s initial. His name is Jasper.” I snapped at him.

“Oh, so where is your boyfriend, then? Why would he leave you all alone? Doesn’t seem like he cares very much if you’re alone all the time, or if you came here alone.” He said in a whisper as he caressed my arm. I could smell the liquor on his breath.

I wish I knew where he was.

“He does, he’s busy doing something important.” I said harshly as I pull my arm away quickly.

My phone begins to go off in my pocket, I get up to look at the screen. It’s an unknown number. Hell I’d answer anyone, even a spam call, to get out of this situation right now.

“Hello?” I say into the phone, happy just to have a break in whatever that situation was turning into.

“(Y/N), leave. Now.” It was Alice.

“Alice?” I basically scream into the phone.

“(Y/N), please leave. Never speak to them again. Get out, go home.” She says as I hear the call end.

I ran out of the house, started my car, and left. My worries weren’t for nothing. They were going to hurt me.

But as I drove home, none of that really stayed on my mind.

Alice called me; I couldn’t even trace a number. I couldn’t call back. For once I felt like they were real again. I began to cry, I missed them so much. The most I heard from them in months was a fifteen second phone call. I didn’t get to talk, it was just so I wouldn’t let myself get hurt.

I pulled into my usual parking spot and headed up to my dorm room. Hoping that this semester ends soon enough. I only have two weeks before Winter break. This couldn’t come sooner.

I crawled into my bed, staring at the J on my necklace until I fell asleep.

 Jasper’s POV

Hearing the phone call was too much for me.

Hearing about Alice’s vision was too much for me.

This was all too much for me. I needed to see (Y/N).

I needed to go there and kill every single one of them. If it wasn’t for Emmett and Carlisle holding me back and calming me down, I’m not sure I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself.

I was sick of just hoping my fragile (Y/N) would be okay. It wasn’t enough for me that Alice was watching with her visions.

I have an anger so deep within me that I could destroy anything in my path. So that’s what I did with Emmett. We went outside and broke boulders about fifteen miles from where we were staying. It was how I was gonna keep myself calm.

“I’m really sorry Jasper.” Emmett says to me.

“Thank you, Emmett.” I look back at him.

“We all miss her too, I know it’s different. But it hurts us too. I wish she could’ve come. But we’ll see her soon.” He says to me.

“I want it more than anything. I would also like to show up to that party.” My voice trailed off. If vampires could cry, I’d have been crying from the start of this conversation.

“I know, but we can’t. We have to be happy nothing happened to her. So I really can’t let you go do that.” He pats the back of my left shoulder.

I nodded to him. Emmett was truly the best brother I could ask for. Rosalie picked an amazing mate, and I owe her one for that.

“Do you smell that?” He says, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

“Bears?” I say, a little bit of the predator side in me taking over.

“Yeah, I think it’s time for dinner.” He says smirking.

And just like that we were off, racing to find a bear.

 *********

Word Count: 2973