#he's not judgmental but he /will/ act like your dad sometimes and i just think he's a funny lil fella <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[tvrningout-a]

ko vc: i am disgusted--

[mrsparrasblog]

Take Me to Church

Summary: John MacTavish, the black sheep of his traditional chatolic family, hides his polyamorous relationship with his boyfriend Simon and you their pregnant plus-size girlfriend from his judgmental relatives. When you visit his family while being 9 months pregnant you need to face the reality of his cruel family.

Normaly I think his parents are the most supportive folks but this idea popped up in my head.

TW: Pregnancy, mention of labour, mention of homophobia, fat phobia and strong catholic beliefs, has a happy end

John MacTavish was always the black sheep of his family, and for most of his adult life, he was okay with it. Seeing his family only three times a year made him endure the hate he got from his brothers. In their humble opinion, he was wasting his life; a career in the military wasn’t sustainable. He would risk his life for what? For no wife to come home to and no bairn. If they had seen his single-room bachelor apartment in Glasgow, they would cringe even more. Moving to Glasgow was another thing they disapproved of. He could have lived on the farm like every other MacTavish, crowded with all his nephews. He really loved them, but coming back from every deployment to help on the farm left him with no freedom and several set-up dates with "proper" Scottish girls.

If it had been his grandma’s choice, he’d marry a thin, catholic Scottish girl. And despite the girls being absolutely beautiful, it just wasn’t what he wanted. John MacTavish only had four wants in his life, and his family could only respect one of them (the want for a good whiskey). Becoming a Military Captain wasn’t one of them, dating his Lieutenant (coming out as BI would be an early grave for his grandparents and dad), and his fourth want was you, the beautiful, soft girl who made him and his Lieutenant go crazy. His family would have approved of you being a girl, but you being an atheist, not from Scotland, a plus-sized girl (which he and Simon absolutely adored), and you being in a relationship with both of them at the same time, would be another matter. Sometimes he laughed thinking about what would scare his family more: him being bi, only dating soft, curvy women, being in a poly relationship, or dating two "foreigners." He decided the poly thing would be the final death blow for his family.

So he hid this side of himself for years, hurting himself and, more importantly in his eyes, hurting you and Simon. Both of you tried hard not to act hurt when you spent another Christmas without him because he needed to attend his family gatherings without his dark secret.

The thing about secrets is they can never be kept, especially if his secret was crying in his strong arms with the famous device with two lines in your hands. “Johnny, what am I gonna do?” you sobbed while he tried everything to ease your mind. He knew it was his, always knew. Simon couldn’t be the dad; he had decided as soon as he was 18 to go to the doctors and take the responsibility to never have children.

The first months of the pregnancy were beautiful despite all the throwing up. When you thought you had two guard dogs before the pregnancy, you were so wrong. You didn’t even know that people could get so protective. Simon was attached to your hip every second he wasn’t on deployment, shooting death glares at anyone who even dared to look at you. Johnny didn’t allow you to clean or cook. “Won't let ma pregnant girl cook. What kind of lad do you think I am?” Johnny huffed as you complained about being pregnant and not sick. Even the sex got better; you were living the life with your two perfect boyfriends.

To his surprise, Simon was happy about the news. A child wasn’t something he thought was in his cards, but with you and Johnny, it could be possible. Even if he had the fear that the baby would only accept Johnny as his dad, you immediately told him that he was an idiot—the child would see him as the dad he was. "Who cares about fucking biology?"

Until your last weeks of pregnancy, when it was finally time to drop the bomb on Johnny’s parents. You wanted grandparents and uncles for your baby so badly. In the end, you regretted your decision.

Scotland, Kingussie

You wore a cute sundress, one of the only things that still fitted you since the pregnancy. You looked radiant; pregnancy suited you. And Johnny’s hand in yours, waiting for his parents to open the door. Johnny told you only half the truth when he said his parents were happy to meet you. They were, they just didn’t know half of it. And you were long asleep when Johnny and Simon had a fight about him finally telling his parents about him and that he mattered too. This didn’t help you prepare for what would happen once you entered the cozy farm in Scotland.

The door opened, and an older woman hugged Johnny immediately. “We missed you, my sweet boy. Show me the lovely lass you brought home.” One glance at you was enough to make her gasp. “Dear God, you’re pregnant!” Her blue eyes scrutinized you. To her credit, she really tried to hide her disgust, not wanting to judge you. “Is it yours, son?”

“Mom, of course it’s mine.”

“Well, congratulations.”

She walked inside the house while you and Johnny removed your shoes. Both of you fell into an awkward silence. “Johnny, what the fuck was that?”

“Mo leannan, I’m sorry. They’re a bit catholic, but they mean well, I promise.”

“Johnny…”

“Please, give them a small chance, and then we can leave whenever you want.”

You sat down at the enormous table. Fourteen pairs of blue eyes stared at you like you were a foreign alien invading their beloved home.

“So, you’re Johnny’s lass?” his father asked gruffly.

“Yes, Johnny and I have been dating for four years,” you smiled softly. Simon and Johnny were the best four years of your life.

“Four years, so I assume that bairn is yours, Johnny?”

“Of course it’s his,” you snapped, offended that he even asked. You would never cheat on Simon and Johnny. There wasn’t even a reason—the relationship and the sex were perfect.

“I didn’t talk to you, lass. I asked my son.”

“Dad, of course it’s mine.”

“So, you’re telling me that you compromised that poor girl?”

“Compromised?” you asked, confused.

“Not even English by her lack of vocabulary,” his grandfather chimed in.

“I told you, Johnny, you can’t just let your urges win. Look at you, knocking that poor woman up and not even asking for her hand in pòsadh,” his father gripped the table, trying to calm himself down.

“Do you know how much shame you bring to this family, Johnny? I would have given you your great-grandma’s ring, but no, you decided to take the MacTavish name even further into ruin. We accepted all your poor choices, lad, but now you’ve got a non-Scottish girl knocked up without any wedlock.”

“It’s not like the ring would have fit on her fat finger anyway,” his brother mocked, and that was Johnny’s final straw. He grabbed your hand, ready to leave.

“I won’t bother you with my shame anymore. Come, mo leannan.”

“Please, Johnny, stay. I promise Dad and Grandpa won’t say a word. We just never heard of you having a girlfriend, and now she’s pregnant. It’s a big shock.”

Johnny wanted to protest, but you really wanted your baby to have grandparents to love her. You whispered in Johnny’s ear that you needed to stay, at least try it for Sophia’s sake.

Another choice you regretted as soon as you saw haggis on your plate. “Johnny, what’s this?”

“I’m sorry, mo leannan. I told them you’re vegetarian,” he said apologetically.

“It’s good for the baby, lass. At least try it before you mock it,” she said, and you hated yourself for being a people-pleaser because the minute you tasted it, you ran to the toilet, throwing it up.

“That was a tad dramatic.”

“I get it, lass. When I was pregnant with my cute Johnny, I couldn’t hold anything in. Do you already have a name?” His mother really tried to make amends, giving you a bit of slack while his other family members couldn’t.

“Yes, we thought about Sophia.”

“That’s not a Scottish name,” his mother’s tone was full of disappointment.

“You cheated on John!” his grandpa started to scream at you.

“What?”

“The MacTavish family has never born a girl. Never.”

“Grandpa, you better shut your mouth.”

“How dare you talk this way to me in my own house!”

“Mo leannan, start the car already. We’re leaving.”

You went as fast as your swollen pregnant legs could carry you, trying to close your ears to the conversation.

“You won’t see my bairn. You disrespected the fucking love of my life. Who cares if she isn’t Scottish, or not Catholic, or fat? I fucking love her like this. She is the most intelligent, funny, beautiful woman on earth, and I’m going to have at least three babies with her, and you won’t see any of them. Or me. And by the way, I also fuck a man too.” He ignored the screams of his grandfather, how he was disowned, the pleading of his mother to rethink his choice. All he needed was to get back to you, the baby, and drive you to Simon, his perfect family.

“Mo leannan, I’m sorry. I should have done this years ago.”

“I just want to go home, Johnny. I’ve had enough.” You weren’t sure if you wanted to be mad at him or thankful for protecting you and your baby like this. But before you could decide on that, your shoes were already soaked. “Johnny, the water broke.”

“Yeah, I’ll fix it at home.”

“What?”

"Well, I don’t have a screwdriver here, and I won’t ask my dad for one."

"Why do you need a screwdriver?"

"To fix the car. You said the water broke; you meant the leak, right? Simon was already on it, but I guess it’s opened again."

"No, Johnny, my fucking water broke."

He stared at you in horror before he scooped you up and started to run. "Where are you running, Johnny?"

"To the hospital."

"We have a bloody car."

"But it’s leaking."

"Johnny, I’m leaking, not the bloody car," you screamed in pain after one of your first contractions.

"Fucking hell, I can bring that baby. I helped a cow with labor; it’s the same, right?"

"Johnny, you’re going to drive me to a fucking hospital. I’m not some highland cow."

-----------------------------

After 16 hours of painful labor (MacTavish babies are huge), your sweet girl was finally born, and Johnny didn’t even faint, much to Simon’s surprise, who almost caused six car crashes on the way to you. And now you were lying in bed, barely awake, looking at your tiny bundle of joy in Simon’s burly arms. It was enough to make a grown man cry. Kyle, Johnny, and Simon were just amazed by the baby.

The door went wide open. "How is my girl?" John ran towards your bed, looking to see if you were injured, hurt, and alive, holding you tight in his arms. He didn’t even look once at Sophia; he was just too afraid about you. "Sorry, I was afraid something happened to you with these muppets." You always wished to experience a father’s love, and right now you realized you didn’t need to have Johnny’s dad or grandpa for this—you had Captain Price.

"It’s okay, Dad," and this was enough to make Price bawl his eyes out. He always wanted a daughter, but infertility was a cruel curse on him. He kissed your forehead. "Let me look at my granddaughter." He accepted this role without hesitation, when you saw your baby between her two loving fathers, her uncle Kyle, and her Grandpa Price, you knew she already had the family you were searching for.

A/N: I don't approve of anything his family said if this isn't clear, I was almost in the same situation (without pregnancy) meeting the strongly prejudiced grandma of my partner. So please don't come at me with hate, already have enough of it in my asks :)

[raya-hunter01]

Not My Sister's Keeper Pt. 4

Roman X OC(Kara)

Jey Uso X OC (Tia)

Rating: 18+

Warning: Smut; sex, fluff, couple arguing, Jealousy, infidelity, pregnancy

Roamn’s wife recently left medical school and returned home to save her marriage. Upon her return, she finds out things are not what they seem. Her sister is pregnant by her best friend Jey Uso, who is also Roman’s cousin, and her husband is acting suspicious.

What happens when a conversation overhead on a baby monitor blows her world apart?

Jey’s House

Kara’s POV

“Home sweet home,” Jey said putting my bags in the corner of his spare room as I sat down on the bed in a daze.

“Do you need anything?” Jey asked as I sighed. “I need none of this to have happened, Jey,” I said as Jey sat beside me.

“I know, but this is the card you’re being dealt, and you got to figure it out.”

“All I can think about is all the times we spent on that bus, and they had sex there,” I whispered trying not to cry. “She did it on purpose and he fell for it.”

“What is your sister’s deal?” Jey asked as I shrugged my shoulders. “We never really got along. I kept to myself, and she was the outgoing one,” I said really trying to pinpoint where the hatred came from.

“Did Roman take responsibly for his actions,” Jey asked as I shook my head. “He begged, said he was sorry, but I don’t think he truly knows how bad he hurt me.”

“Well, are you going to forgive him or is this it?” Jey asked as I looked at him like he was crazy.

“Jey, he slept with my sister and had a baby with her. It’s over,” I said as Jey seemed relieved with my answer.

“Just checking to see where your heads at beautiful.”

“I outta fuck somebody’s brains out on the bus and have him find us. That would hit his ass where it hurts,” I rambled as Jey took my hand in his.

“Aye, are you serious?” he asked as I shook my head.

“No, I’m just angry and rambling,” I said, standing up and pacing as Jey stopped me.

“If you were serious, you know I would help you. You know that right,” he said as I nodded.

“I know but I don’t know about crossing that line, I don’t want to hurt our friendship. I would never forgive myself,” I said truthfully.

“When I’m 38 and your 36,” Jey whispered as I smiled at the memory.

“Jey we were kids then,” I said remembering the pack we made when we were 22 and 24. “We didn’t know shit,” I said as he chuckled.

“I knew I wanted you,” Jey said as I blushed. “Yea, but you weren’t ready then. You were trying to find your way in the world, then wrestling came along. You had alot to figure out.”

“If I would have been ready then, could I have, had you?” he asked as I contemplated his question.

“Yea, you could have,” I answered honestly as Jey nodded.

“Well now it’s the opposite, I’m ready and you’re not,” Jey said as I shrugged my shoulders laying back on the bed as Jey lay beside me.

“Guess that is how it happens sometimes,” I whispered as he kissed my hand.

“Lucky for us both I do know what I want, and I’m willing to wait until you’re ready,” Jey said leaning over, wiping my tears.

“You want me to stay wit you?” he asked as I nodded settling into his arms.

I couldn’t sleep but I felt content in his arms, I felt safe.

I didn’t have to pretend to be ok, I could be me and right now I wasn’t ok…

---

Pensacola General Hospital

Roman’s POV

The stares….The judgmental stares from Kara and Tia’s parents as I held my daughter didn’t bother me. All I carried about was this beautiful little girl in my arms.

“She looks like you, Roman,” Tia said as I nodded entranced with my baby girl.

“Yea, just like my baby pictures,” I said caressing her little face.

“Don’t you want to see that little face every day. Roman we could be a family, nothing is stopping us now,” Tia whispered as her dad got up and walked to the door before turning to look at us.

“Rebecca, I ain’t partaking in this bullshit, If I stay in here a minute longer I’mma kill him,” he said before slamming the door as Tia’s mom just stared at her.

“I wanna say I can’t believe you…But I know you,” she said as Tia sat up in bed avoiding her gaze.

“Mama, we didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did,” she said as I frowned at her remembering the first night she came to me…. How she took control, how she said she didn’t mind being Kara for me.

“Tia, you can fool people some of the time, but you can’t fool your mama none of the time. I gave birth to you, and I know what I raised,” her mother said as Tia frowned.

“What you trying to say mama?”

“You did all this on purpose to hurt your sister, and I just wish I knew why,” Rebecca said getting up grabbing her purse before turning her attention to me.

“Mama, I’m so sorry, I know you must hate me,” I whispered as she sighed.

“Son, I pity you, because you’re gon’ reap what you sow. It may come today or years from now, but you’re gonna reap.”

I couldn’t look at her, I already was reaping. Kara is probably done with me; Jey is trying to take her from me, and I’m stuck raising my daughter with a woman I don’t even love.

“I’m gonna make up to K-”

“What! I just had your baby and you still talking about her!” Tia screamed as Logan shifted in my arms with a small cry.

“Shh, daddy’s got you,” I whispered as Logan instantly calmed down.

“Why are you yelling, and that baby is trying to sleep? You knew that man was married to your sister, loved your sister, and you still chased him.”

“You just have to keep telling me he loves her, and I’m destined for a life of hell since you found out Logan is his. Do you even love me? All I’m hearing about is Kara…Kara-”

“Tia, I love you both…I love all of my children the same. That little manipulation shit may work on your dad sometimes, but not me.  It ain’t never been favoritism ever in this family, we loved all three of you the same.

“Mama, I get it,” Tia said as Rebecca walked over and grasped her chin, making Tia look at her.

“You may not like it, but as your mother it’s my job to tell you when you wrong. Tia you dead wrong for what you did and you’re going to reap most of all,” she said as Tia snatched away from her.

“Just leave mama.”

“I’ll be by in the morning, since you said they are releasing you sometime tomorrow evening,” Rebecca said turning to leave again as Tia wiped her tears, before snatching Logan from my arms as she began to fuss.

“Give me my baby, I don’t need none of ya’ll,” she hissed as Logan became antsy and began to wail.

“You scared her,” I said as Tia tried to comfort her, but it wasn’t working…. “Hell, did Logan even like her mama?

“Tia give Roman the baby back, she’s picking up on your energy and your scaring her,” Rebecca said as Tia tried to rock Logan in her arms but she just kept crying louder.

“Fine… Take her,” Tia sighed in defeat allowing me to take Logan from her. Instantly Logan settled down in my arms.

“Daddy’s got you baby girl. You go back to sleep,” I soothed as Rebecca shook her head.

“See……. Already reaping,” she whispered pointing at Tia before leaving.

I knew Rebecca was right….I had a lot to answer for but I couldn’t think about that now. Logan needed me, I just hope with time Kara could accept Logan as my daughter and be a mom to her.

“You’re going to love your stepmom, Logan” I whispered as Tia rolled her eyes.

“Don’t you mean auntie, because she bout to divorce yo’ ass and jump on Jey’s dick so fast it’s gon’ make your head spin,” she chuckled as I shot her a look…

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s true…My sister is big on honesty and cheating is a deal breaker for her. You did both…Your done,” she said as I frowned.

Deep down I knew I had a long road ahead, but I had to try…They were releasing Tia sometime tomorrow, but Logan was going to have to stay a few more days for observation.

I knew Kara had left with Jey and Jimmy so I told Tia she could crash for a few days.  When we bring the baby home, I will go to her house for awhile to stay and help.

Her mother had offered to stay but Tia turned her down. She wanted me to help her instead.

I knew I was asking for trouble, but I couldn’t leave her alone. She had just given birth to my child and was alone, even though it was her own to isolate her family.

----

The next Day

Jey’s Condo

Jey’s POV

“I had to help her give birth to his child,” Kara said shaking her head in shock still.

“And then she tried to get you to hold the baby,” Trin asked as Kara nodded. “Yep, telling me Logan needed me and to please hold her.”

“That is a grimy bitch,” Trin hissed as I nodded in agreement.

“I just don’t understand how this even happened but at this point it doesn’t even matter. Logan is here and nothing can change that.” Kara said defeatedly.

“You can’t bottle it up, you gotta let it out, sis,” Jimmy said as Kara played with her food.

After last night, Kara spent the majority of the night in my arms trying to make sense of everything, and I had no answers for her. Finally, today she slept for a couple hours and got a shower.

Trin and Jimmy brought dinner for us, which I was thankful for. Roman had been texting and calling Kara but she had been ignoring him and rightfully so.

“If I let it out I’mma go too far Jimmy, you saw me last night. If ya’ll hadn’t showed up that damn house wouldn’t be standin’ and I’d be catching an arson charge for burning that fuckin bus to the ground.”

“Look, we can talk about all of that later. Right now, I need you to eat,” I said as Kara just pushed her spoon around her plate.

“You gotta eat boo,” Trin said as Kara signaled at Jimmy as he opened a bottle of tequila.

“I just don’t feel like it Trin,” Kara said as Jimmy poured her a shot.

“Well, that ain’t helping anything, you trying to get her drunk,” I said as Kara downed the shot and Jimmy shrugged his shoulders.

“Aye, she asked for one, and I’m happy to oblige. Hell, we all need a drink after all that shit that happened last night.”

“How could he do this? How did he put himself in this position?” Kara asked as I reached up and placed a comforting hand on her leg.

Before I could respond Kara’s phone beeped as she sighed cautiously opened it.

“Who is it?” I asked as I saw the tears fill her eyes, as she read whatever had been sent, her hands shaking.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Trin asked as Kara passed her the phone, wiping her tears.

“Now if I go up to the hospital, and beat her ass, everybody will say I’m in the wrong.”

 “What is it?” I asked as Trin looked disgusted reading whatever had been sent. “It’s an Instagram post from Tia, she tagged Kara, Roman, and WWE in it.” Trin said shaking her head in disbelief.

“I know she didn’t,” Jimmy said as Trin nodded. I looked at Kara and I could see her heart breaking all over again.

“On yesterday, Roman and I welcomed a beautiful baby girl. A special thank you to her auntie for delivering her, I don’t know what I’d do without you, Kara, we all love you.” Trin read as Kara’s took a deep breath trying to calm down.

“Is this a joke?” I asked, taking the phone from Trin reading the post and seeing the picture Tia had posted with it. It was a picture of Roman holding Logan and she had disabled her comments.

“Kara are you ok?” Trins asked as Kara waved off our worry.

“Yea, I just need some air,” she said going outside as Trin sighed.

“Tia keep playin’ with fire, and I’m bout to take a damn charge for getting’ wit dat ass,” Trin said as Jimmy cleared his throat.

“Oh, you ain’t gotta worry bout dat, cause’ as soon as Kara sees her again, it’s on sight,” Jimmy said as I got up to go check on Kara.

Kara’s POV

“That bitch must don’t realize she ain’t pregnant no more,” I muttered pacing as I felt my anger growing at the disrespect.  She was too bold; she thought this shit was cute. She was relishing in my pain and suffering.

“I’m not going to ask if you are good because I know your not. I just wanna know how you want to handle it,” Jey said walking towards me as I shrugged my shoulders.

“Jey, I know what we talked about last night, but let’s just say we do..um-”

“Have sex,” Jey says casually as I rolled my eyes at him.

 “Yes, that….. Doesn't that make us no better than them, and what they did?” I asked as Jey smiled at me.

“We are not those two, you can’t even compare us to them,” Jey said caressing my arms as I sighed.

“I respect our friendship too much, I don’t want to ruin it,” I said as Jey pulled me into his arms.

“I told you I was ok with it…I’m down for whatever you want to do, just say the word,” he said caressing my face as I gave him a small smile.

And just like that a few hours later we were pulling up and parking down the road a little from the house and walking to the bus.

Reaching under the front grill I got the spare key. Roman had already had the bus fixed, it was as if I had never defaced it or had its tires slit.

“We ain’t gotta go in there Kara, we could go in the house,” Jey said as I ignored him and went inside.

“I want to do it on the bus,” I whispered looking at the place once filled with love, it felt cold now and I couldn’t stop imagining Roman and Tia alone in this bus, and all the places they probably had sex at.

“Leave the door open,” I said as I saw Jey about to close it.

Walking back to the bedroom, I opened the door and I felt numb.

“Are you ok? You know we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Jey I said as he pulled me to him.

“I want to feel better,” I whispered as Jey caressed my face.

“I told you that whatever would make you feel better, I would do it,” Jey whispered pulling me closer as I felt guilt seeping into my mind, but what did I have to feel guilty about.

Roman did it first…Did it plenty of times…Had a whole baby, and with my sister no less.

“Can I kiss you?” Jey asked in whisper as I nodded, his soft smile putting me at ease. “Kara, I been waiting for years to kiss you, I want to hear you answer me,” Jey said as I released the breath I was holding.

“Yes, you can kiss me.”

The air was thick with anticipation as Jey claimed my lips in a gentle kiss that shocked me with its passion.  I moaned against his lips, as he gently pushed my sundress off my shoulders as it fell in a pool at my feet.

His fingertips grazing my skin sending shivers down my spine.

I felt shy and exposed under Jey’s powerful gaze as he caressed my body in awe.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered with a smile undressing himself as I blushed.

I don’t know what came over me but as I watched his tattoos glisten in the moonlight my heart began pounding faster.

“Are we really about to do this,” I whispered as he captured my lips in a searing kiss. So powerful, I felt helpless, melting into his embrace as he carried me to the bed.

“It’s your call,” he whispered as his lips found my kissed my neck, as I moaned in pleasure.

Kara, they deserve it, my mind screamed as I relaxed under Jey’s touch, as he removed my underwear. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I knew Roman would be home soon.

By the time I’m finished, Roman is gonna want to burn this bus to the fuckin’ ground himself.

“We don’t have much time,” I gasped as Jey groaned. “I know, and I hate it,” he panted wrapping my legs around his waist.

“Kara, look at me beautiful,” he whispered, grasping my chin and holding my gaze.

“Tonight, we end this, it’s the first and last time we do this to make someone jealous. The next time we do this, it's gon’ be for us because you gon’ be my lady,” he moaned as I nodded claiming his lips in a passionate kiss.

An inaudible gasp fell from both of our lips as we became one for the first time. Twenty years of friendship changed forever; our souls even more intertwined than they already were.

“Shit, you feel better than I ever dreamed,” Jey moaned against my lips as I trembled against him. Each powerful methodical thrust caused my head to bang slightly against the headboard, and I couldn't care less.

“You feel so good,” I gasped as Jey sank deeper, burying his head in the hollow of my neck, resting one of his arms above my head, stopping me from hitting the headboard as I gasped unable to think.

“Shit, so do you lo'u loto,” he moaned, kissing, and nipping at my neck as I felt the worries of the world float away. He had called me his heart in his native tongue. I always loved it when we would speak Samoan.

Faintly I heard the Roman’s truck creeping into the driveway as I groaned in frustration, not wanting this moment to end just yet. I had a taste of him and I wanted more…Much more….

“Jey, I hear the car,” I rasped as Jey rolled us over. “Jey!” I gasped at how even fuller I felt being on top.

“Mmhmm, I’m deep up in dat pussy now, fuck. Gon’ make dat shit count before he comes in and get you a nut,” He moaned as I nodded bracing one of my hands on his thigh, the other on his chest as I began wining my hips, our moans of pleasure filling the bus.

“Jey..Jey..Mmm,” I purred as he groaned, gripping my hips.

“I’m here Kara… I got you, and I’m right there too,” he moaned meeting my thrusts as a strangled cry escaped my lips.

“Mmm, fuck,” I moaned as Jey sat up holding me tight as we bounced in sync against each other.

“No regrets,” Jey whispered overpowering me with a kiss.

“No regets!” I gasped against his lips as he smiled. “When you ready….I’mma make you mine forever,” he panted as I cried at his beautiful words.

Jey wiped my tears as we heard footsteps coming towards the bus. It was showtime but we both needed release first.

Grasping Jey’s throat, we fell back onto the bed as I began to ride him, hard and deep as he groaned biting his lower lip.

“Fuck, gon’ get yo dick then,” he rasped, his arms spread wide on the bed, his head thrown back in pleasure.

 “Is it mine?” I asked, moaning as I felt my thighs becoming Jello but I wanted this. No, I needed it…We both did.

“Hell yea, it’s always been yours,” Jey confessed, his words making my heart skip a beat.

“Look at me, Jey,” I moaned as our eyes locked, and we both groaned sharing a brief kiss, knowing everything was about to pop off at any second.

Roman’s POV

“I told you to stay outside with my mom,” I hissed at Tia as she followed me closely. I wasn’t in the mood; Kara wasn’t returning my calls and mom picked the wrong time to just to pop up for a visit.

“Listen, I hear something,” Tia muttered cutting the light on up front and closing the door behind us.

“Jey! I’m cummin!” I heard a familiar voice scream as I felt my heart stop.

“Kara,” I whispered as Tia covered her mouth in shock.

 “I know you are, cause this my pussy now, say it,” Jey moaned as Tia ran off the bus.

“It’s your pussy!” I heard Kara exclaim as I felt sick. “Kara,” I muttered again in disbelief as I heard her cum…I knew that sound anywhere.

My feet were stuck, I couldn’t move. The sounds of their bodies being one with each other filling the bus, I could hear Kara wetness as she gave him my pussy as she rode out her high.

My eyes widened in horror because I just knew Kara wouldn’t do this. Slowly, I made my way to the door.

She wouldn’t do that…..Not here….I felt my face twitching as their moans got louder.

“Yeah, that's it...Now, I want you to cum again for me,” Jey moaned as I snapped, kicking the door open.

There was my wife on top of my cousin. They didn’t break away from each other, Kara looked back at me out of breath.

“Can you please leave it’s my time to enjoy the bus. Since you and Tia have had your fair share of time on here. Jey and I gotta catch up,” she moaned still riding Jey as I reached out and tried to grab her.

“Have you lost your fuckin’ mind, Kara!” I Yelled as Jey moved her out of the way. “I’mma kill you dead!” I hissed attacking Jey as he tried to put back on his sweats.

“What’s wrong can’t take what you dish out, Uce?” Jey gloated catching me with an uppercut as I saw Kara grab her dress and run out into the living room area to probably get dressed.

Jey’s POV

“What you mad for, it’s the same shit you did with Tia,” I said punching Roman in the face as he fell against the wall.

“You motherfucker!” He yelled running towards me as we spilled out into the living room area trading blows.

“You stay away from her! I’ll kill you!” Roman shouted as we fought for dominance. I gauged his eyes, before smashing his face into the table as he fell onto the ground checking his nose.

“You stay away from Kara, you don’t deserve her,” I hissed as he chuckled.

“I see you still hit like a bitch,” Roman sneered as I growled pouncing on top of him and punching him as I heard the door opening.

“I heard you fuck like one,” I hissed as we tussled around the tight space. “Boys! Boys! Stop this now!” my aunt yelled as I paused in my actions as Kara looked at her in shock.

When the hell did she fly in?

“What is wrong wit ya’ll?” she cried as I climbed off of Roman trying to calm myself as Kara came to my side.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as I shook my head. “I’m good,” I said putting my shirt back and shoes back on as my aunt looked at Kara and me with disgust.

“I know ya’ll weren’t doing what I think you were in here?” she asked as I sighed.

“Yes, they were,” Tia instigated turning on the waterworks as Kara rolled her eyes.

“How could you do this to me, Kara,” Roman said getting up as Kara reached over and slapped him as soon as he got on his feet.

“How could I!?...... How could I do that to you?!”

“Yes, that’s a good question. How could you be out here sleepin’ with your husband’s cousin?” Janice said with disdain.

“Auntie, you don’t know the whole story,” I said as she shushed me.

“You’ve done enough Joshua! I can’t believe you did this, and at Roman’s home no less!” she hissed.

“I can’t believe you did this to us, Jey,” Tia said as I saw Kara out the corner of my eye about to leap so I stepped in the way. “Now ain’t the time,” I whispered as she stopped herself.

“I never took you for a slut, Kara…..Tia, I am so sorry this happened,” she said as Kara looked at me with pleading eyes to let her go. Seeing a  few tears escape her eyes, I released her.

Kara’s POV

I know damn well she didn’t just call me out my name. Looking around I saw how Roman was trying to shift blame as well as Tia and I realized she didn’t know.

She probably didn’t even know she had a granddaughter.

“You out here spending my son’s money and sleeping with his cousin. How low is that? I told him you were no good for him,” she said as I looked at her in shock.

I was no good for him…I was tired of crying but damn I had to let this hurt out to move on with my life. Watching her comfort Roman made my skin crawl.

“Yes, how low is that, huh,” I said walking towards her as Roman stepped in front of her.

“Kara,” he pleaded as I pushed him aside.

“How low…. And disgusting is that!” I gasped truly hurt by her words.

“Kara stop,” Roman interrupted again as I scoffed. Yea, she didn’t know but she was about to know now.

“I’ll tell you…You wanna know?….I’ll give you the lowdown on how low all this is,” I said, as she seemed on edge, not knowing what I was going to do or say.

“Your son started screwing my whore of a sister on this bus…. I was faithful, I gave up everything for him, I loved him, and that’s how he did me. Did you know she had his baby yesterday?” my voice cracking with emotion as she looked at roman in shock.

“A baby?” she whispered as Roman hung his head in shame.

“Yea, you’re a grandma,” I said as she looked at Tia who avoided her judgmental gaze.

“I don’t know how the hell it started with Roman and her, but I can tell you how everything started tonight with Jey and me…..It was Deliberate!………We did it on purpose,” I said looking at roman as he looked sick.

“And with every touch, kiss, caress…… Ever gasp as he claimed me, I felt better,” I said invading Roman’s space as he was crumbling before my eyes, as I explained my infidelity to him.

“You can stop now, Kara,” he whispered as I saw his face contorting from disbelief into anger at the thought of me having sex with not just anybody, but his cousin.

 “After every nibble, lick, and thrust, I felt even more better knowing you will never be able to step foot on this bus without picturing Jey and me in that damn bed and you deserve it,” I whispered my tears almost clouding my vision.

“There’s the part of you I knew existed Ms. Perfect,” Tia said as I grabbed her by the throat before anyone could stop me, throwing her up against the wall, choking her.

“I hate you! You’re like a fuckin’ cancer!” I screamed as her eyes widened in shock as she tried to pry my hands from around her throat.

“Kara! She just had a baby!" Roman yelled trying to move towards me but Jey stepped in front of him, wrapping his arms around my waist.

“It’s not the time, she just had a baby, Kara,” he whispered as I let out a scream of frustration, letting her go. I just wanting just five minutes alone with her to beat her ass.

“I always knew you were crazy,” Tia coughed trying to catch her breath as Jey continued to hold me back as Janice shook her head at the scene playing out in front of her.

“I’mma see you again Tia, 'cause’ you gotta answer for what you did. And Roman, you will be hearing from my lawyer,” I said deathly calm, before storming off the bus with Jey behind me.

“Damn, I didn’t expect auntie to show up,” Jey said as we walked back to the car. I paused, turning around to face him.

“I’m sorry, I got you involved,” I said as he cut me off with kiss.

“No regrets,” he said with a smile as I nodded.

 “No regrets,” I whispered as we embraced…

----

Roman’s POV

“Roman, I’m ready to go in the house,” my mother said her voice full of disappointment.” Here are the keys, I’ll be in,” I said as she nodded leaving Tia and me alone.

“Wow, Kara, was really outta control,” Tia whispered as I turned and looked at her.

“You really have fucked up my life,” I whispered as Tia jumped back as if I had struck her.

“Me! You could have said no.. You ain’t Mr. Innocent,” she screamed as I put my hair back in my manbun looking at the damage to the bus.

“Just tell me how much Tia?” I asked as she frowned at me.

“How much what Roman?” she asked as I sighed.

“You’re really gon’ make me ask you, huh…..Fine, how much will it take for you to leave town and sign over your rights to Logan?” I asked.

“Are you crazy, I’m not signing over my rights. Logan is my daughter Roman, and we are a package deal,” Tia said as it was my turn to frown at her.

“5 million.”

“No, Roman.”

“10 million, and I’ll get you a one-way ticket anywhere you wanna go. And I’ll even get your contract switched to raw if you still want to wrestle.” I said seeing the wheels turning in her head.

“It’s a starting point, but still not quite good enough,” she said with a smile as I growled.

 I was in my own personal hell......

“Tia, just leave me alone,” I said as she smiled getting off the bus, slamming the door behind her.

“You fucked up!” I hissed to myself, memories creeping in of the good times Kara and I shared here on this bus…The bad, where I destroyed my marriage, and tonight where Kara destroyed my soul.

“She’s, my wife!” I shouted picking up the chair beside me throwing it through the window, growling at the thought of Jey, hell, any man being inside her.

“Just had to keep sniffin’ around her!” I ranted knocking over anything I could, even kicking the door off the hinges in the bathroom.

Looking in the bedroom, the realization hit me hard.

“I caused this, I caused it all,” I muttered looking at the bed, the tangled sheets, the image of Kara on top of Jey, her moans as he claimed her invaded my mind.

Kara was right, I’ll never be able to step foot in here again without thinking about her and Jey…

“Welcome to my own personal hell,” I whispered into the night, and I finally realized I had nobody but myself to blame.

-----------

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[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

You Make Me Wanna 4

Warnings: dark elements, noncon, age gap, best friend’s dad trope other dark elements. Proceed with caution.

Note: Please let me know what you think as it helps me a lot with ideas and I love interacting with you all.

Part of The Club AU

You don't hear from Faye. You don't expect to. Can you blame her? You're much happier with your absentee dad than an overbearing brute like hers. And it's fair to assume you snitched her out, why would she suspect her own father of tracking her phone? 

That's deranged. Truly. Once more, you're thankful that no one really cares enough to be strict with you. Sometimes you swear your mom forgets she even has kids. 

She's on the porch that day when you leave for work. You have the green grocery store blouse on with a pair of thrift store slacks that don't breathe. It's hot out and many of your neighbours are hiding inside with their window fans and raggedy old AC units buzzing. Some kids run through a sprinkler at the end of the street and two men drink cold ones on their stoop.

The block can be shady but it's home to you. The few times Faye came around were fleeting. She only stopped by to pick you up or drop you off. You often caught the look in her face, that one of judgment but pity. 

You don't hold it against her. She can't help the gap between you. You've accepted your place. You'll ruin your arches slaving away as a cashier and she would have stopped talking to you anyway once she finished school. Frankly, you're surprised she hasn't already. 

A honk makes you jump. You stop short as a car pulls up in front of you before you can cross. You back up as you recognise the finish. You cross your arms. What the hell? 

You go to circle around the back of the car and he shifts into reverse. You huff and he rolls forward as you go back the other way. You stop and stomp your foot. The window rolls down on your side. 

"Mr. Marshall, I'm on my way to work," you grit.  

"You? Work?" He says. 

Your rage simmers and you measure your breath. He's not going to ruin your day. You stand still and stare over his car. 

"Some of us have to," you sniff, "isn't that what you always said?" 

"Didn't realise you listen to me," he scoffs. 

"Are you going to let me pass?" You snip. 

He's quiet as he idles by the corner. He leans over the passenger seat to see you better, "you got home safe." 

"Don't act like you care," you retort, "alright? If you're looking for Faye, I haven't heard from her. Besides, don't you have GPS?" 

"I didn't say anything about Faye," he insists. 

You curl your fingers as your frustration mounts, "then why are you bothering me?" 

"I'm on duty. Was in the neighbourhood," he says coolly. 

"Right, sure," you mutter and check your phone. 

"Gonna be late? Hop in." 

"You're not serious. After last time--" 

You stop yourself. Why is he doing this? He just wants a rise out of you but why? Why do you matter to him? He only ever thought of you as a bad influence for his angel of a daughter. They can both piss off. 

"You really don't let things go," he chuckles. 

"Speak for yourself," you sneer. 

"So... this your neighbourhood?" 

You turn on your heel and cross the other way. You're done. You're not going to stand there and be mocked. Maybe if he ever asked instead of glaring and growling, he'd know more than he assumed. 

You don’t look back and he doesn’t follow. You’re happy at least for that. You get your fair share of jackasses at work, one on the way is too much. 

🌙

Your shift drags on. You’re thankful for the air conditioning but not the work. Customers barter over the cost of potatoes or complain that you’re out of their preferred seasoning. You try to look like you care but that’s the hardest part of the job. 

The dinnertime rush peters out and you lean on your till. Brandy goes to stock the shelves with Ricky as Ariel texts away on her phone. The monotony is set to drive you crazy, that and the dad rock wafting from the speakers and droning through the mostly empty aisles. 

You pore over an Archie comic as the seconds tick by. You’re only taken away from Riverdale as you sense a shadow at the end of your lane. You stand up and close the magazine, tucking it back on the shelf. You nearly let your disappointment bubble out to sigh as you recognise your customer. 

Walter sets down a glass bottle of root beer and one of the ready-made meals from the deli. You don’t say a word as you push them across the scanner and to the other side of your till. You hit total. 

“Cash or credit?” 

He doesn’t answer. He steps close to the other side of the till and looks over easily at you. You squint back with derision. 

“Sir, you gotta pay--” 

“Is it any good?” He points to the tray of rice and fixings on the far end of the till. “The General Tao chicken? Don’t want crunchy rice.” 

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I can put it back on the shelf if you don’t want it.” 

“If you had to recommend something--” 

“I don’t eat that stuff. Too pricey,” you focus on keeping your eyes from rolling back in your head. 

“Sure, still cheaper than the burger joint across the lot,” he takes out his wallet, “long day. I’m starving.” 

You tap the machine to signal him to pay. He taps his card and you print his receipt. You place it on top of the tray of chicken and rice and reach for the Archie comic once more. 

“So you haven’t heard from Faye?” He asks. 

“I knew--” you stop yourself, “no, Mr. Marshall,” you lean back and open the book, fluttering through to find your page, “she isn’t my daughter.” 

He lets a breath out heavily through his nostrils. He grabs his soda and the chicken. You ignore him for the antics of Jughead, his existence lingering just along the edge of your vision before slowly stalking off. 

You can’t help but wonder why he’s looking for Faye and if she’s okay. 

[miheartsedthings]

Part Seven

NSFW ModernBilly x FemReader (Minors DNI)

Summary: Nancy isn't impressed with how you're handling your relationship with Billy, leading to a confrontation neither of you saw coming.

Warnings: Fighting, Angst, Dubious consent, pregnancy risk.

At first, you didn't notice the faces Nancy was making as you told your story. You sat across from her at lunch, so caught up in the details, adding dramatic flourish to make the whole thing as fresh for her as it was for you. The fight with Billy which had felt relationship-ending. The smashed vases and Molly Kellerman. Then, the apology. You arrived at the little slip of envelope with heartfelt joy, which is when you finally noticed her. She was staring back at you with skeptical eyes, one of her brows cocked in judgment. You shrunk, finally understanding why people called her Princess Wheeler. 

“What?” You asked. She sighed. 

“Well, I mean, I know you like him but…are you really gonna forgive him just like that?”

You were a little taken aback. 

“I mean…I know we have a lot to work on. But he apologized and that's not easy for him.” 

She rolled her eyes. 

“Yeah, he apologized for one thing and then did like 50 additional things wrong.” 

“It's complicated, Nancy.” 

“Is it? I mean listen to the story you just told me. He was being violent and disrespectful at Amber's house, which probably cost her parents lots of money. Then he was almost inside another girl when you caught him-” 

“He wasn't gonna go through with it.” 

“Yeah, so he says. You put way too much faith in him when his actions are telling a whole different story.” 

You couldn't help feeling hurt by this. Defensive in the face of her accusations. 

“I already made it clear that his behavior has to change. He knows that. But no one gets by in life without making mistakes. Sometimes you have to be patient with people.” 

She scoffed, crossing her arms. 

“Is it patience, or is it being a doormat?” 

Anger flared up in you. 

“Take that back,” you said. “maybe I'm more forgiving than others but I'm not a doormat.” 

“I will not take it back! He's hurting my friend, how am I supposed to forgive that?” 

“Forget I said anything.” 

You gathered your stuff and stood to leave, making her stand, too. She rushed after you as you went out into the hall. 

“Y/N, you know I’m right. You’re being blinded by your feelings for him and it’s making you dumb!.”

You spun to face her, the two of you were alone in the hall now, your raising voices echoing down the empty corridor. 

“If you think I’m so dumb why are you friends with me?” You asked. 

“I didn’t say you’re dumb, I said he’s making you act dumb.” 

“It’s crazy how little faith you have in me. Don’t you think I could tell if someone was taking advantage of me?”

“Obviously you can’t,” she spit back, “Do you know how many girls like you my mom sees at the clinic? They mess up their lives over some pathetic asshole. I never thought you’d be like one of them, but maybe you are.” 

Her words stung you quiet and you fell back a step, searching her face. 

“Are you serious?” 

“Y/n-”

“As if your mom has room to talk.” 

Something flickered through her eyes. 

“Excuse you?” 

“I’ve seen your mom at the pool, Nanc. Eye-fucking a seventeen year old kid whenever she gets the chance. She’s like a cat in heat, it’s gross.” 

Her gaze went cold. 

“Shut up.” 

“Why? If she’s gonna look down at other women we might as well talk about her. Do you know what kind of shit she used to text Billy when he first moved here? Your dad would have a heartattack.” 

Her eyes were burning with anger. 

“As if he doesn’t toss himself around. As if he wouldn’t bang anything with legs if he wasn’t with you. Hell, he probably does it anyway.” 

Your hand flew before you can stop it, making contact with Nancy’s already reddened cheek. The two of you shared a moment of stunned silence before she lashed out at you. Suddenly, the two of you were exchanging blows. A crowd quickly gathers, jeering and hollering as you two wrestle each other to the ground, slapping and clawing and then punching each other. She got a fistful of your hair as you swung blindly, making contact though you couldn’t see where. 

“Hey! HEY!” 

Someone’s yanking you up but the two of you clawed and kicked, desperate to inflict as much pain as possible. Then, you were pulled away, all you saw of her was a rat’s nest of brown hair and blood before you were whisked off to the principal's office. All of it was over in less than a minute. 

You sat in the office with an ice pack on your fist. The side of your head was ringing with pain from where your former best friend had taken a fistful of your hair. You rolled over the fight with Nancy in your mind, amazed at the violence you'd shown each other. Two hours ago, you never could've imagined hitting her, yet you had. Then again, you never thought she'd be so judgemental. Sure, you can admit, she's not wrong to worry about Billy, but it isn't her place to force you into anything. You have your boundaries, and if the time ever came when he crossed the line, you would leave Billy. You know you would. Until then, she should understand. 

“Ms. L/n,”

You looked up to see the secretary waving you into the inner office where the principal's was. On the way in, you passed Nancy and her mom. Nancy held an ice pack to her cheek and avoided your eyes. Her mother, on the other hand, glared at you. You received a week of detention and of course, they called your mom. Leaving the office you saw Billy waiting for you in the hall. His eyes went wide when he sees you, already unable to contain his mishievious smile. 

“Tell me you’re not skipping class,” you said, dragging your feet to him. 

“Baby, what the fuck? You and Wheeler?” 

You sighed, a headache still thumping through your skull. 

“Don’t even ask.”

“Don’t need to,” he says. He turned your head to one side and then the other, examining you for damage. “She couldn’t touch you.” he added with a smirk. You couldn’t help being pleased by this, but groaned and fell into his arms. He pat your back. “C’mon, you’re alright.” 

You rubbed your eyes, mumbling into his chest. 

“God, my mom’s gonna be pissed.” 

“Come over to mine. Old man’s in Nevada on business.” 

You shook your sore head. 

“And piss her off more? What am I even gonna say when she asks me what happened?” 

“Tell er Wheeler’s a bitch,” you can’t help chuckling. 

“Stop,” you whined. 

He rubbed your shoulder as the bell rang. At the same time, your phone vibrated in your pocket. Your mom was there to pick you up. 

“Why? That’s what happened, right?” 

You looked up at him, finally, and noticed that behind all his joking and his lighthearted smirk was a hard stone of concern. 

“She’s worried, which, on Nancy, looks like being a bitch. And she said some really off the wall shit about me and about you, and when I told her the truth about her mom she didn’t take it well.” 

He scoffed, pulling your tired body into a hug. 

“Don’t say I never warned you.” 

“You warned me,” you admitted, “But fuck.”

. . .

“So you’re the bitch who fights her friends over a boy?”

You sat watching the trees roll by the window, regretting the grind of your mom’s voice against your ears, reviving the last of your headache. 

“No,” you said. You’re careful to keep your voice clear of any edge. 

“No? That’s what you did, isn’t it? She told you some hard truth about that raggedy boy and you got so mad-” 

“Why are you taking her side?” 

“I’m not taking her side, obviously you beat her ass, now it’s time to deal with you. You think it’s cute fighting over some boy? You think that’s gonna get you somewhere in life?”

What a dumb question. You conceal your eye-roll. 

“No.” 

“What did she say? I wanna know what’s worth getting in a fight and jeopardizing your future.” 

The car fell into an agitated silence as she waited for you to speak. You sat there leaning against the door, leg bouncing, eyes closed, praying for the thumping in your brain to stop. You saw Nancy’s face, flushed in indignation. Embarrassment crept up your throat when you remembered how excited you’d been to tell her about the little note. The tiny victory of Billy’s apology. It was a victory, but it isn’t exactly untrue that Billy’s behavior has to change. So why does it feel so shitty the way she says it? 

“Not gonna tell me? Then it must be about that boy.” 

Your head rung and you squeezed your eyes shut as hard as you could. When you arrived home, you made a direct line for the stairs, only to be called back by your dad who extended his hand. 

“Phone,” he said. You groaned and handed it over, watching him turn it off (Thankfully. Your life would truly be in danger if they discovered your text thread with Billy) and place it on a high shelf in the pantry. You spent your evening absorbed in homework before getting ready for bed early. By then your headache had faded, and all that’s left of the fight was the lingering hurt of lost friendship. No matter how you tried to lay there without thinking, your mind scrolled back to the fun you’d had at the party. The way she’d been there for you during the pregnancy scare and spent the whole day cheering you up. A painful feeling sank into your chest at the thought that you’d never talk to her again. 

Maybe you had been a bad friend to her. It wasn’t impossible to imagine. You did get selfish sometimes, and Billy took up a lot of your emotional energy. For all you knew, Nancy had been going through things herself and never felt she was able to tell you. Then, the thought flips on its side. How were you supposed to know she needed support if she never said it? You flipped over, unable to find comfort. It’s not your fault she held things in and got all full of resentment. So why do you feel like you failed? 

Maybe you were being stupid about Billy…maybe a little more pliant and patient than a person ought to be. You’ve only been together a handful of months and he’s made you cry so many times. There’s plenty of reason to break up. Except that the thought of it turns your stomach. 

You flipped onto your back with a sigh, staring at the darkened ceiling. Okay, so maybe you were accepting more than you should from him, but it was only to balance out all the contrary treatment he’d gotten thus far. You saw the stark lack of people in his life who loved and prioritized him. Rarely, if ever has he felt safe, and after spending years like that, especially formative years, one can’t be expected to be a perfect partner right off the bat. 

You had your boundaries with his behavior, you made your feelings known, and in the best way he could, he honored them. Plus, he was getting better all the time. You were certain he’d only keep developing the skills to be a better partner and if he didn’t…you flipped onto your stomach. 

If things never changed and your relationship remained in a cycle of secrecy and blame…then you’d handle it. Meaning, of course, you’d leave. The pain in your chest was re-doubled to imagine this. A lost friend, and then a lost love. And what would that make you? 

Your thoughts carried on in a similar, muddled fashion for the next hour until the strain in your body finally pulled you into a dreamless sleep. Two little taps woke you up. You laid there blinking in darkness trying to register your surroundings, then it happens again. Two tiny clicks against glass. Your eyes went to the window and after a moment you realized what you were seeing. A hand tapping the glass. 

You hopped up, rubbing your eyes and crossed the room quickly. When you let Billy in, he was careful to swing his legs into the room without a sound. You took his shoes and tucked them under your study table, where a towel was waiting for them. You'd come to think of it as his Welcome mat. He took you into a hug and, still groggy, you sagged against his body. He closed the window and half carried you to bed where he laid you down before shedding a couple layers. His jacket and jeans got tucked under the bed, and he crawled under the blanket with you in his boxer briefs and T-shirt. 

His warmth filled in the space behind you as his body came in flush with yours. He trailed a few kisses along your neck and ear, a little sigh expressing his contentment. You made your own small sound, wiggling back to press yourself into his body. 

“Couldn't sleep?”

Your voice was low, hardly rising above a whisper. Billy was holding you across the torso with one arm, while the other found your hands and laced his fingers in with yours. 

“You never told me the full story.” He said. His breath was soft against your ear, rising goosebumps along your neck. 

“Mmm. Nothing to tell.” 

There was a stretch of quiet. In it were little gestures, the slow swipe of his thumb across your knuckles, his teeth nibbling the lobe of your ear. You knew what he was asking. Of course, he'd want to know what had driven you to fight your best friend, but you couldn't say it. 

“Well, if it was nothing then you shouldn't have kicked her ass over it,” he said with a little chuckle. 

Something about that struck a nerve. 

“I told you she said something fucked up,” you said. He sensed the tension in your body and turned his face into your neck, as you spoke, breathing softly, his arm curling yours in so he was hugging all of you to his chest. “why do you even wanna know?” 

Now, he had you all collected in his arms, and you couldn't deny how good it felt. How happy you were that he'd shown up. You turned your head until your lips are close enough to touch. He returned the kiss with that private urgency which sometimes took him over. It seems he needed something just as much as you did. He props himself up on his elbow so he could look down at you, the lamppost light outside your window offering plenty of visibility. 

“I won't get mad.” 

You hadn't been prepared for those gentle words. They slipped right through your defenses and pierced you. He was looking at you so sincerely. And so, quietly, you explained the upsetting back and forth from that morning. All the while he watched with intent focus, and remarkable patience. Proving your point all along. You didn't know that he'd ever been so quiet and non-defensive while hearing someone's unkind opinions about him. As you explained, your eyes took breaks from his, falling to where your fingers idly twirled a loc of blond curls. 

When you finished, you found yourself exhausted, your chest aching again. Your eyes burning. 

“So that's it.” You finish, “she's not my friend anymore.” 

Your voice broke and he pulled you close, kissing your forehead. He said you were fine. You didn't need her, and you knew the intent was to uplift but you just felt smaller. You tried to swallow the first sob that came out, but he was so close he heard it and hugged you closer. Kissing your neck. 

“Baby,” he said, softly. He wanted to say more. He wanted to kiss your ear and say baby, my little baby. Really suffocate you with the full force of his affection. But still, even with you, he was terrified of being overwhelmed by these emotions. He wanted to love and care for you from a solid place where he could remain in control of himself. If he spoke too much tonight he knew he would cry. Which he couldn't allow. Not while it was your turn to cry and his turn to comfort. So he fell quiet, and rocked you a little in his arms. 

He kept you. Kissing your neck and holding you so close, and inside regret and anger needled you. You could used more words from him. Added reassurances. 

“She wouldn't listen to me,” you added this useless detail, hoping it triggered extra comforting and he did amp up the tender caressing of your back. He told you she was wrong not to listen. A real friend would listen. But it all served to make you sadder, and you started to cry harder than you could contain. Nancy was your only friend in this town. The only one with whom you could talk about anything without worrying she'd get angry. At least, you thought she was. The loss was monumental and you cried shuddering sobs into Billy's shoulder. 

The more you cried, the more desperately Billy wanted to calm you. Rubbing and kissing wasn't working, you were heartbroken over the loss of your friend. As much as he was battling to keep the thought at bay, he knew it was his fault. The way he was had hurt you yet again. Left you inconsolable. Something in him threatened to break apart if he couldn't fix it. A shiver invaded his body, a thin shudder under the skin of his hands as he held you, touching, rubbing, searching for the friction you needed. 

Shoulders and hips, he massaged down your back and kneaded your ass. All the while you cried. Shattering him. He wanted to say he was sorry for fucking up your friendship. An urgent desire to be forgiven coiled tight in his chest, a taut rubberband threatening to snap. He made a sound, then stifled it by kissing you. His cheeks wet with your tears, his mouth swallowing your mewling sobs. His tongue tasting your salt. His hand was under your chin and you felt it as an insistence to remember that he loved you. In actuality, he couldn't risk you turning away. 

You could’ve easily turned out of his kiss in disgust. Realizing that he was the problem all along. He wasn't worth the trouble. He kissed you harder, stealing your breath, and in a sudden flush of inspiration, sought to overwhelm you. If you couldn't think, you couldn't come to the truth. He rushed, not exactly gentle as his hands removed your thin t shirt and panties. His own nakedness coming so abruptly you were startled by the rush of his skin, his hardness pushed between your spreading thighs. All the while he kept you tangled in frenzied kissing. 

You broke away just enough to breathe and already he was pushing into you. 

“Billy.” your voice was soft and warbled and useless. He shoved his length into you, earning a strangled whimper from your chest. His hand curled around your neck in an effort to keep you quiet and still. Your hand found his chest while the other grabbed his wrist, and yet you knew there was no fighting it. There wasn’t air enough to breathe let alone speak, and truthfully, he felt good inside you. As always. 

His mouth was hot and full of need and his weight rolled onto you as he buried himself fully inside. You were filled to the brink, certain if he was any bigger you couldn't handle it. A chesty groan vibrated in you, in the relative silence of the room, the slight squeaking of bedsprings. He fucked you deeply but without much speed, his skin flush to yours, and suddenly you felt like he was trying to hide all of himself within you. His whole body burrowed to your center where he could remain. 

You realized then that he was feeling something he hadn't explained. His face was obscured, either in kissing you and thus too close to observe, or tucked sweetly into your neck. You pulled his hand from your throat and he rested it on your clavicle. You kissed his cheek a few times, and then his neck. You lifted your hips to meet the rutting of his. He was heavy, his hot skin forcing you to sweat, but you felt no desire to escape. 

You came with his hand clamped over your mouth, legs shuddering around him while he muttered curses into the clammy skin of your neck. Your insides were slick with cum, but your head was too cloudy to worry about that. That would be tomorrow's problem. For now, you let yourself be held, and fell asleep thinking of nothing. 

. . .

In the morning Billy was gone, your window cracked. You rushed to the bathroom full of anxieties. The risk of a UTI the most pressing. Luckily, emptying your bladder felt as it always did and you were free to move on to the next issue. Pregnancy. You’d need money for a pill and thought all through your morning routine about how to get it. Finally, you settled on telling your parents the school was fundraising for a children’s hospital. It’s a terrible thing to lie about, but you figured in a roundabout way it was alright. They’d think they were helping sick kids and really they were preventing unwanted grandchildren. These things were in a similar vein. 

“Nancy’s giving 60,” you said to them over a quick breakfast. 

“Oh? And that matters to you why? I thought you didn’t fuck with her.” Your mom said, giving you cool, scrutinizing eyes. You turned your back to retrieve orange juice. 

“We’re not funding any silly feuds between you and your friends,” your dad added. 

“There’s no feud,” you said, pouring yourself a glass. “I just don’t wanna be the only one giving less.” 

You knew that would get them. As much as they didn’t want you to realize it, your parents compared themselves to other people. They didn’t like the idea of you doing the same. They looked at each other for a long moment, and you saw their desire to discourage this behavior butting up against their need to be on par or superior to other families in town. They gave you 70.

To be continued ~

Thanks for reading ~

[the1975attheirverybest]

Concept ! Imagine Matty and the reader are fighting and Matty (you know he can get real mean sometimes probably ) gets into that mode but the reader / girlfriend is suddenly meaner in a smart way like he doesn't know what to reply anymore then him hahah how do you think this would end up

Ooohhh… Yeah, I definitely think Matty’s smart mouth gets him in trouble in arguments. My dad’s kinda like that. Like he’s so smart and so blunt but sometimes THATS NOT WHATS NEEDED and he gotta learn when to shut the fuck up a bit, lmao.

I’m gonna just go off of something that Matty himself has admitted to. “I’m better at writing…”

So, like, maybe his gf is also a musician. Or maybe she’s a writer. Maybe she asked him for his feedback on something, but instead of telling her what works and what doesn’t, he starts taking issue with the very premise of the thing that she’s writing. “Well if that’s how your character felt, why didn’t she just- stop going out with this guy. It doesn’t make sense. The reader needs to feel invested. I feel no investment in this plot whatsoever.” He shrugs self-satisfied.

“I didn’t ask you about the plot, Matty. I asked you about the building that this scene takes place in.”

“Never got to that part. Got bored after the second paragraph cuz I wasn’t buying into it.”

She gets frustrated “thanks. That’s unhelpful.”

“I would say that’s extremely helpful! Saved you a conversation with your editors.”

“You did no such thing, Matty. Instead of meeting the story on its own terms, you completely re-wrote it. It’s not about why they continue to stay together! Sometimes things aren’t that simple you know.”

He’s staying cool in the face of her frustration which is her least favorite thing ever. It makes he feel like she’s overreacting even when she’s not.

“It’s okay to suck sometimes. I do it too on occasion. But you don’t have to act like that cuz you know my way is better than yours. Just cuz you’re a writer, doesn’t mean you shit gold. Not everything that you come up with is gonna work.”

He thinks he’s won the argument. He sits back in his chair, legs open wide, taking up the space proudly.

“Oh, I know. Sometimes I make mistakes. We all do! It’s part of the writing process. I just feel sorry for you cuz you live in such a narrow reality that you can’t stand the idea of someone doing things differently that you. Just because YOU would quit on a situation like that, doesn’t mean my character should. I’m writing her story, not yours. Art doesn’t always have to be slavishly adhering to your specific perception.”

He opens his mouth to reply, “oh yeah? If I’m so narrow minded, then-“ nothing comes to mind.

“I’m just gonna go work on this on my own. Thanks for nothing, my love.” She walks away and goes back to her desk. He’s just sitting there. His mouth STILL open. He blinks and tries to take in what she said.

Ends up pouting for hours. Stewing in his is. Rage. He can’t BELIEVE she called him narrow-minded. That’s the last thing that he wants to be. That’s why he works so hard at trying not to be judgmental and make sure he’s open to arguments. Then he realizes that he behaved in the exact opposite way towards her. He wasn’t open to ideas. He just pushed his reading on her from the get go, and when she got frustrated with him, he told her it was her fault for not being able to see things her way.

So he starts jotting down thoughts on paper. Goes over to her office, and is like “okay, I’m gonna read out loud from this thing so I don’t put my foot in my mouth again. I’ll stick to the script…” he apologizes, then he makes a calm case for what he thought needed fixing, why he thought that (respectfully), and what he liked. He’d begggg her to let him see her draft again and he’d be on his best behavior.

[bioethicists]

i'm not the op of the og ask but i'm somewhat curious as someone who is uncomfortable around alcohol use bc my bio dad was p abusive and drank a lot; how do you divorce the two? it's genuinely really hard for me to be around alcohol and its use bc of what i went through w/ him. but at the same time i'm aware that he would've been an asshole with/without it, yk? and it feels wrong to judge based on drinking but idk how to NOT reflexively do so

tbh i think it's ok for you to feel uncomfortable around drinking! like i don't think you have an obligation to make yourself comfortable with alcohol use so long as you make an effort to remind yourself that ppl who drink are not Bad People. but if your boundaries are "this brings up a lot of painful stuff for me so i don't want to be around it" then those are yr boundaries!

in terms of the judgement piece, i also have/had this around drugs/alcohol often- i frequently spiral over worries that i'm a bad person for doing drugs due to my upbringing. it can be helpful to remember that sometimes flashbacks are not memories but having the same feelings you were having during a trauma during a different situation. so just grounding yourself, validating that your feelings in the past were valid + things are different now, practicing being uncomfortable without allowing that discomfort to dictate your reality. like to just be around it + notice "i am feeling judgmental + disgusted right now but that is not coherent with my values so i am going to act based on my values now".

thoughts/feelings are not bad or dangerous or wrong, so long as you check in with your values before you act on them. it's when ppl try to justify their disgust or judgement in order to feel less ashamed or uncomfortable that things become toxic

[criticallyobs]

Why Saifah has never been bad

(From the notes of Dangerous Romance Ep 8 Critical Discussion podcast ep)

After watching the episode and sitting with it for a while, a switch flicked in my brain and I started thinking about the way Saifah was represented up until now and how other characters interacted with him, and how we started being apprehensive about him (like I literally started the reaction with Saifah is full of shit).

Then I saw how Kanghan’s dad behaved with him and I started having this unpleasant feeling because I felt like we were led on to be as prejudiced regarding him as Kang’s father was in episode 8.

I started reconsidering some scenes that featured him.

So in the beginning he’s trying to reassure his brother that he doesn’t need to take part-time jobs. He tries to reason with Sailom so that he doesn’t judge him for being a bit manipulative with the people in his care to get what he wants.

We, as the viewers, already think highly of Sailom, because this is how he has been represented until now and Saifah seems dicey in comparison. Then we judged Saifah for being unreliable, because he prepared that meal, but, doesn’t it look like love? Like him trying to lighten Sailom up? Yeah, he’s wasting the money, but isn’t it okay to do that sometimes, especially when you don’t have much? Do you always have to be stressed and depressed and not allow yourself to have anything nice? He’s not only trying to provide for Sailom, he’s trying to cheer him up as well. Sailom sees it as a waste because of course he does and he decides to take that job because of course he does. But did his brother ask him to do that? No. It’s just Sailom’s way of being.

Then his creepy smile in the hospital and I even remember a post about it on Tumblr, (I’m sorry I can’t remember who posted it), but it was about him having a forced smile when meeting Kang’s grandma. But look at the situation. The person who took your brother in, the only family that you have, is keeping him safe, is paying off your debts has been placed in the hospital where you work. Yes, you don’t like and distrust rich people (rightfully so, obv), you probably had bad experiences with rich people and you think it’s unpleasant to serve them, but wouldn’t you feel like you have to go to that person who’s helping you so much and offer your help? Isn’t that the most decent thing to do? And wouldn’t you say "yes" if they request your further assistance, even if you don’t really want to be around them?

I feel like the narrative has been framing this character up until now.

Sailom knows his brother and he doesn’t expect him to do something drastic. He doesn’t take his comments about the safe seriously, maybe that’s Saifah’s humor. He likes pretty things. He likes money, why wouldn’t he? We were given the information that he’s being arrested later, but we can’t know if he actually deserves that.

Why did we assume he’s guilty? Aren’t we acting just like Kang’s father? There’s a big step from taking advantage of someone’s kindness to committing an actual crime against a person who’s been only kind to you.

So if this pattern that I’m seeing here is correct, then they’re doing a very interesting and daring thing here, by making us face our own prejudice.

What if we’re complicit in framing him as well?

I’m already questioning my own judgment. I might be wrong and maybe he does do something stupid or he’s coerced into it, maybe he’s rotten to the core. I have been wrong before. But if they’re kind of putting us in Kang’s father's shoes, then it’s a fucking mic drop moment, and OMFG.

And also maybe his face looks unhappy when he receives the medicine because he’s facing his own prejudice, that not all wealthy people are pieces of garbage.

Also, we didn’t like Saifah meddling and making Sailom insecure regarding Kanghan’s devotion, but wouldn’t it be something that a big brother does? He clearly has seen his brother in distress because of that boy, he sees how much energy and time Sailom dedicates to him. He doesn’t want him to get hurt again. He’s not aware that they were fucking made for each other and that the universe pushes them together and that they’re the literal embodiment of the wind and windmill. He’s normal!

[mr-downer-2024]

like really what the fuck am I supposed to do. my sister can come home in tears on my parents dollar cause her little bf broke up with her but the moment I just need them to leave me the fuck alone and let me figure things the fuck out it’s “oh you can’t say that to your father” my old man knows I can beat his ass too so trying to act like a big dawg on me isn’t going to end well. They know I don’t put up with hostility I don’t understand why the fuck my dad just can’t talk to me like a normal person sometimes because I hear how his dad was always so confrontational about anything my dad did (like having pierced ears) and yet he hasn’t learned shit.

And it’s not like my environment is bad stuff like this rarely happens but when it does it’s always my bad for having a bad reaction when I get hit with that judgmental ass tone the moment he sees me like I hadn’t even stepped inside the house yet, and now I’m yelling on the front porch for the whole street to hear cause he thinks I’m just going to go “yes EN1” and let it be that.

[19orionis]

🖊 Lazare or Manfri (or both!) :]

I thought I’d compare and contrast an aspect of both of their personalities, one that can be kind of unsavory at times, one that can cause them to clash with each other. Because that’s fun!

Lazare and Manfri both have very strong convictions. Morals. Ways they think things should be. Lazare because he’s terrified of turning back into the person he was in his twenties, and Manfri… for a variety of factors. Scrupulosity is a facet of his OCD. He’s had a lifelong tendency to think in black and white. His brother went down a bad path, hurt the rest of his family, and he’s trying to distance himself from that. He wants to keep being good. Lazare is trying to be a type of good he’s unsure if he can ever be again. He feels like he’s tainted himself permanently.

Both of them can be judgemental. This aspect is something that Manfri actually has more self-awareness with, because he is the more rigid of the two, has been this way all his life, and he’s more confident in his convictions. He can go “sure, I’m being judgmental, but they deserve it.” Lazare, because he’s more willing to play nice with people and keep his thoughts inside his head, has a bigger blind spot when it comes to his own tendencies. He can go a lot longer, turning up his nose and harboring resentment towards someone for a decision they’ve made or a belief they’ve had before noticing that he’s doing it. Admitting it is even harder, but he’ll do it, begrudgingly.

Manfri tends to judge other doctors and surgeons. Harshly. Some mom-shame, he doctor-shames. In the real world, this is probably good to an extent, but in roleplay it’s made him act inflammatory to other Medics 😂 even if their unconventional practice is working for them. He’s also generally very lawful and is pessimistic about people’s ability to change, so if one was a thief or conman years ago, and he knows about it, he’ll treat them as if they did that shit yesterday until he’s told to cut it out. Even THEN sometimes…

Lazare judges… people like Manfri! He can’t squint too hard at past actions if the person shows they’re remorseful, or he’d just start internally beating himself up for the millionth time over his own crimes. But he also very very deeply judges smokers, despite losing his dad to that addiction and knowing that it isn’t easy to quit. He’s very terrified of secondhand smoke. Used to just take others’ cigarettes and put them out without warning. It’s the one thing I could see him getting smacked for. I can also see him really hating people who don’t have an indoor voice, etc. He is NOT confrontational in public (or in general, he tends to beat around the bush and take a lot of time to say what he wants to), but if your feet are up on a chair, or if your cart’s in the middle of the aisle, he will make some kind of face at you.

Because of all this, the two don’t exactly talk very much. Lazare avoids Manfri more than the inverse, but Manfri can feel the mistrust coming off of Lazare and it kind of creates a feedback loop. Even though, if they could JUST GET PAST THEIR OWN EGOS, I think they’d have a lot to talk about!

[fancyfade]

I do really want to think of how i want Bruce and Damian's relationship to go down b/c I think their dynamic is greatly influenced by Bruce's failures as a father and some of those failures are IC but some of them are stupid as hell.

Also note: this is kind of my thought appendices to this (link) reblog chain

it can be hard to square Son of the Demon Bruce with Batman and Son Bruce (and like. impossible to square him with Batman Inc Bruce). But it might be able to be done (we'll see that later). first

The failures that I think are in character to Batman at that time (2000s)

Being exacting in his standards and uncompromising: Bruce is a perfectionist and he applies this to everyone he works with (except sometimes Tim and Robin Jason) much to their utter annoyance. He's also fairly egotistical and thinks that his way of doing things is right, so he wants people to be perfect his way, not whatever way they are doing.

(examples from this from text: Damian often feels like Bruce just orders him to be a mini-me and doesn't explain things in Tomasi's run on B&R, and honestly like... Bruce doesn't explain things. He's like "don't go on patrol b/c I todl you not to" he doesn't mention that Nobody is out*, he didn't explain his connection to Nobody, probably more that aren't on the top of my head at the moment)

Being predisposed to judging Damian harshly: Thinking of this post (link) about Bruce referring to Cass (when talking to cain) as "You made her like us" when referring to her training. Bruce seems to put a lot of focus on actions, rather than like 'you're innately a good/bad person'. That's probably why he was so reluctant to believe that Cass killed someone at first, he was convinced the video was faked. And Damian has done a lot of actions that Bruce would hate -- as well as attacking Tim, who did have a favorite-syndrome going on at the time. Like Bruce was consistently the best to Tim in that era. And since Tim was in Bruce's house when this was going on it is possible Bruce feels like he was responsible for not 'controlling' Damian better. That could hypothetically influence later interactions.

Not being emotionally available: He is pretty much never emotionally available, it would be OOC if he was emotionally available.

With the combination of those 3 factors, it's very easy for Damian to feel like his only connections to his dad are what he can do for him in the field and blood.

I also think that Bruce's failures as a father are not really that OOC to Son of the Demon Bruce, because while Son of the Demon Bruce was very enthusiastic about having a kid and like 'he'll be the happiest baby in the world!' there was an incredibly important second part which was he became controlling of Talia to the extent that he acted like an idiot (tried to force her out of combat when they were in the battlefield, causing someone to sneak up on them and she had to kill that person to save Bruce's life). Talia winds up faking a miscarriage to try to get him to act like himself and not a possessive overprotective weirdo who will throw away everything he was working for previously.

and when he does see her next, in detective comics annual 1, he is very cold to her and judgmental of her despite them having parted on not hostile terms (he obviously didn't know she faked a miscarriage).

Like my assumption is he has so many emotions wrapped in this that he would be afraid to address them (as typical) and make many mistakes.

But then like.

The failures I think do not work for him period:

Him wanting to give Damian back to the League of Shadows because he had a vision that evil future batman damian would get gotham destroyed. I'm sorry but like. If your Batman is pro sending a child into an abusive situation based on some dream they had you don't understand batman, fundamentally, at all.

Not caring what's going on with Damian as long as he's not destroying the world (this is like. TT2016 to modern era stuff). Like if anything I think he would tend to micro-managing out of worry (like he was in B&R 2011) or being demanding and exacting, not like "oh not my problem." maybe if Damian was living w/ Talia (non-morrison version) he'd be a lot more hands off, since he was fine w/ that after RRAG. But like. that damian was not living w/ any of his parents or family members.

anyway it is so frustrating when like. one character's interactions are very tied into things that don't work for another character but i hope I can make it work.

*granted I'm sure if Damian knew that Nobody was out he would've been like "ah so it's dangerous and you need my help even more" XD

[triplexdoublex]

Hi earlier I think I saw a anon on here saying how Colson and Megan need to be careful with what they do bc how mean kids are and colson admitted in the past that Casie had to put someone in thier place for saying something mean or maybe it was a different account lol anyways I just wanted to add that this diddnt just go away bc even in the documentary Casie herself said that even to this day kids will go up to her and are like why is ur dad so sad, why is he so depressed, why does he dress like this or do these weird things being very judgmental so I could only imagine what they say about Megan and how she acts and what they do as a couple. Like Megan has this mentality that oh my kids don't use the internet they are to young to see what I'm doing right now so it's ok, or oh it's ok bc my kids go to a hippie school with other celebritiy kids in their school but Colson has a whole 13 yr old daughter who as far as we know is in a public school, most definitely has a phone and has kids always picking on her dad and is constantly defending him. They both need to consider the impact this is having on Casie who is the one probably always defending them. Megan even thoe she admitted in a interview years back said "I don't want a daughter bc then I woudint be queen B anymore, im used to getting all of the males attention" needs to understand that there is a 13 yr old who even thoe she loves her dad very much she can't run away or hide from the couples own consequences and is the one that actually deals with the publics opions of it. Casie is all over colsons page and music videos and movies and I know she loves him but at the same time imagine the impact this has on Casies and Megans relationship when she's having to defend her dad's fiance for letting her dad pretend to do coke off of her. Like even if she doesn't follow colson on social media I'm sure she somehow hears about it from the other kids

Yeah I really do feel bad for Casie in all of this. I know she said on Life in Pink that she likes Megan and blah blah blah but it felt so forced to me and not just from her but from the others saying it too. It was so awkward like ‘let’s just have a section in this documentary where everyone talks about how much they like Megan’ it didn’t come off genuine at all. And yes even if they try to keep her from seeing things online or even if she’s smart enough to shield herself from it, I’m sure her classmates and peers are still seeing it and teasing her about it, kids are brutal at that age. Imagine how embarrassed you’d be at 13 if your dad and ‘stepmom’ posted pics on social media for the world to see of your Dad having your ‘stepmom’ on a leash in fucking bondage gear! I swear sometimes they just do shit for attention and don’t think about how it’s gonna effect their kids 🤦🏻‍♀️

[ravenousnightwind]

When I first came into the picture around 13 years ago with my partner, his brother had already had two young kids. Then comes me this weird guy in black with their uncle. They didn't know who I was, but they asked a lot of questions. They'd come to spend the night, and they realized right away we didn't sleep in separate beds like they've seen other people do.

We're talking like 4 and six year Olds okay? They start asking all kinds of questions. Like how come you guys sleep in the same bed? We're like cuz we're together. Oh but you're both boys? Yes we are. Oh..cool! And ever since it was just normal. The oldest even considered us married even though we're not because I'm disabled. Which we also had to explain. They even had opinions on that too. "You guys should be able to get married. It shouldn't matter.

When we went on a boat trip once, their friend had never really been around any lgbt people before and was like omgosh you guys are gonna be gay together!? Started to kinda get behind the oldest nephew. He got real snarky and was like what're you doing get off me! His friend then says that we're (me and my partner) gonna be gay together and then nephew goes SO!?

Sometimes, the oldest, who was six or seven at this point, maybe a bit older. Would be saying how he didn't think it was such a big deal for two guys to like each other. Didn't understand why it was such a big deal. Kids in school would say stuff I guess, make it a big deal at times. Told me once how it's not weird at all. It's normal.

Their mom actually thought it was kinda funny when I told her about the we're gonna be gay thing from the boat too. Which is how I found out the oldest considered us married. She said when kids grow up with people in their lives who are lgbtq, it's just a normal thing, but when they're not and everyone acts weird about it, they'll react that way too. Thinking it's unusual.

So we actually had a pretty interesting experience overall. The oldest is now 13, and he doesn't see us as any different. He hugs us. Tells us he loves us, still wants to be around us and stay the night. There's no judgment from either of the two. We only ever talked about it when they brought up questions. We'd answer and they'd just accept that answer as being we're just people who love each other. It was as simple as that. Nothing more or less. No inappropriate conversations or anything like that. Even from the rest of the family. We're just accepted as two uncles now.

Kids will just accept things, even if they ask questions it is fine. You don't have to explain sex. You just have to say they like each other. That's what we did and everything turned out. Nobody even bats an eye when we walk in the door. We just normal people part of the family. Nobody says shit about it, it's just normal. If people outside the family say anything we've never heard about it. We've even watched their neighbors kids before and nobody said shit about it.

Even my partners brothers wife's mom, who is very Christian, doesn't even care. We went to their communion at the church and we're fucking pagan!!!! Here we are, two pagans, in a catholic church, seeing nephew in first communion. Nobody said anything at all. Nobody fuckin cared!

All the hateful nonsense is just propaganda trying to demonize and ostricise us. Normalizing lgbtq people into society isn't that hard if people just let kids be kids and answer any questions they have in an age appropriate way. All it takes is exposure, and just saying, "Yeah, we're just like your mom and dad."

Yall wanna hear a kinda funny, kinda sad story about my grandmother and hetero-normativity?

Ok, so... when my grandmother was in her 50s (I was an infant), she met a woman at the Unitarian Church. And, as can happen when you meet your soul mate, this event made it impossible for her to deny parts of herself that she had fiercely hidden her whole life.

All the drama- their affair being found out, the divorce with my grandfather, the court battle over who got the house, happened while I was a baby. Even in my earliest memories, it's just Mama Jo and Oma, and my grandfather lived elsewhere (first his own apartment, then a nursing home, then with us.)

But here's the thing- no one ever explained any of this to me. No one ever sat down and was like "hey, Rosie, so do you know what a lesbian is?" It was the 90s. It was Texas. I think my mom was still kinda processing all this, and just assumed that like... I was gonna figure it out. Don't mention it, let it just be normal. Like I think my mom thought that if she explained the situation, she would be making it weird? I dunno.

But like. In the 90s, in all the movies I had seen and books I had read, do you know how many same sex couples I had seen? Like. 0. Do you know how many "platonic best friend/roommates" I had seen? A lot. I had no context, is what I'm saying.

I literally thought this was a Golden Girls, roommates, besties situation until I was like...I dunno, 11? 12?

It was actually their parrot, an African Grey named Spike, imitating my grandmothers voice saying "Johanna, honey, it's getting late", that triggered the MIND BLOWN moment as I realized that *there's only one master bedroom and it only has 1 waterbed* when all the pieces finally clicked.

Anyway. I think it's a real important thing for kids to know queer people exist, for a lot of reasons, but also because kids can be clueless and it's embarrassing to have your grandmother be outted by a parrot because everyone just thought you'd figure it out on your own.

Anyway, here is my grandma and her wife, my Oma, after they moved to Albuquerque to be artsy gay cowboys and live their best life. They helped run a "Lesbian Dude Ranch" out there (basically just with funding and financial support. As Oma has explained "traditionally, most lesbians don't have a lot of money" so they wrote the checks and let the younger ladies actually run the ranch.)

[1d1195]

EXACTLY WHAT I THINK TOO! Which is why I full on thought you had a brother lol And it's sweet that your sister helps you out! What is your style though or like aesthetic that you tend to gravitate towards?

My dad wants to look more into the native tribes around the area he was born because apparently his grandmother spoke a fluently a native language?! Crazy lol And honestly bestie I support you unleashing extended family DRAMA! It's for the ✨plot✨. Oddly enough I've mentioned to my mom she should do one but she fears it will cause drama on her side and dare I say i would like to see that unfold lol

I LOVE a good deal so whenever I have time/energy I am in there! I forgot that you were like a full on young adult when they were popular which makes more sense because although it was definitely a CHOICE on my end I was a child lol. BUT I understand why you were hesitant and that's okay!

I GET IT SO MUCH ABOUT BEING EMOTIONAL!! And it hard to have so much love to give yet the people who you want to show it too don't accept it or it's just not expressed in a way that feels like its for you. That post right there is such a good example, I loved reading it! And I think overall the act of being SEEN is so fulfilling and craving that is valid! Expressing love or anything remotely "soft" depending on your environment can be draining and sometimes feels embarrassing since your the only one. But it seems you have so much to give because that's natural to you and that's not weird at all. It's hard to be the first one to do things that may seem "weird" but it's YOU, you can't keep suppressing the love that you have, it may feel/sound selfish but trying for yourself is enough! easier said than done you deserve that nourishment that you give to other too!

AND SAM YOU LITTERALLY SAID WHAT MY THERAPIST HAS SAID TO ME HAHA But really though i feel so much and so the instances where I have gotten hurt for sure have closed myself off but I do appreciate you saying those things💗

I had such a BUSY weekend that the book was not on my mind at all lol BUT I DID GO TO A CONCERT AND IT WAS GREAT! I needed that honestly and so worth the lack of sleep lol Which explains why my reply is so late so sorry for the wait! But I hope yours was good at least!

Now... THE BALCONY EXTRA 😭 Tell my why I had a feeling she was going to be pregnant😭 and the way HARRY FIGURED IT OUT 😭 ugh it was so cute seeing how he was trying to not freak out haha and I love the comedy aspect that you add to your stories like that pee joke was hilarious i giggled lol That was such a cute little extra it made my heart feel so warm! Great as always!! Also side note, that divider was so cute!!

Ily so much Sam! Hope the week is treating you well!-💜

LOL style. I think it's called "millennial-retro classic" ☠ I don't think I have style. I am a skinny jeans, cardigan, side-parted hair (granted my hair is frizzy/wavy/curly so I look like a serial killer with a middle part), ballet flats kinda girl. But I'm also a teacher so I feel like I dress like one most of the time. This looks like how I dress:

I'm pretty reserved when it comes to clothing but I almost don't care? It's just pretty much I buy what I want to buy. I'm a leggings/jeans and t-shirt combo on my days off hehehe. What's your style like?

I don't want to pry into your family life too much but it sounds like you could snag a GREAT deal on your FAFSA if your fam is such a high % Native 👀 Also on the family thread, I love the vibe. I'll let you know if the drama is ever unfolded in my life. I just like the vindication of being right. It's petty and mean of me but the family I love but don't like is often two-faced and I think they could all be knocked down a peg.

I went to an extremely judgmental high school (I know every high school is like that) but I grew up in a pretty affluent/vacation/trendy area and it felt like I was less for not having real Uggs or a NorthFace jacket. Then I went to college and everyone was like "just get it at Target" and I was like "WHERE?!" Eye-opening. The real stuff they don't tell you about college hahaha

I never expect anyone to take my advice but I know since we're so similar it's nice to hear from other people what you want to hear (even if you don't use the advice) it's kind of like confirmation? So of course, do what you have to do and live your life how you see fit. I just don't want you to have any regrets 💕

A CONCERT how nice! Who was the concert for? It sounds like a nice pick me up! My weekend was once more exhausting. My school district has their spring break next week. ALSO I was in the partial eclipse path yesterday and it was SO cool and just what the little astronomer in me needed 💕

THANK YOU SO MUCH. (Tbh I think I'm hilarious--I'm my own target audience) but of course it's so nice to hear that you think my humor fits in well enough to my stories! I really didn't know what to do with them so I thought making her pregnant might be a vibe hahaha I'm glad you enjoyed as always!!

Glad you had a good weekend and hope you're having a good week too!

xoxo

[abigadia]

The Reason Why I Left My Hometown

A Personal Narrative

The journey of my life has been a roller coaster ride full of ups and downs, challenges and achievements, joys and sorrows that have shaped me into the person I am today. In this autobiography, I will tell you about the heaviest obstacle I've ever experienced in my life. My hope is that by reading my story, you will be inspired to live your life to the fullest and to never give up on your dreams, no matter how difficult they may seem.

I was the happiest kid in our family—both dad's and mom's sides. I sometimes become a clown to make the members of my family laugh. I had a good relationship with them despite my parents' divorce. Both sides always care for me, feed me, accompany me, and celebrate with me every achievement I have. It was all well. Not until this walking disaster, problem, idiot, and uneducated person came into our lives. There's this uncle on my mother's side that I've never met, even after my mother gave birth to me. My grandma always tells stories about how he misses our uncle and that she wants him to come home already since she has never seen him since some incident happened within our family years ago. She always describes him as the "pinakamabait" and "pinakamasipag" son of hers. She often tells us what a joker he is in our family.

One day, when I got home from school, I saw how smiley my grandmother was and she told me that the uncle she always talks about would be coming home. She wants the uncle to stay in the house with us because we don’t have any men in our house and there’s only me, my sister, and my grandmother. Curiosity filled me up. I expected something more from him since he's the "city boy" wannabe in our family. When I first met him, I was like "Oh, here he is—not what I expected". I greeted him with generosity, and actually, we had a good start in building the relationship between uncle and niece. He gave us his "pasalubong" and even gave me a bag and a shoe. I was thankful, but something inside me doesn’t want him to come near me. It’s like my inner self is telling me that something bad will happen sooner. I saw glimpses from the uncle that make me shiver with fear; it really makes me uncomfortable, but I push the negative thoughts away because maybe I was hallucinating and just being judgmental. The first three months with the uncle living in the house, things didn’t go well. He took back the gifts he gave me without telling me the reason why, and I didn't bother to ask because maybe he just realized that he needed those not until I saw the gifts from one of my cousins. My cousin was wearing the shoe he gave me, and the bag was hanging from my cousin’s shoulder. I didn’t bother taking it back, thinking it was the lamest thing I could do. I don’t want to act petty over things that aren’t fully mine to be obsessive over.

Every time I’m in the house, I always wear the coziest house outfit: shorts and an oversized shirt, but ever since the uncle came, I never wear those. He always stares at me and gives me lustful glimpses with his tongue out and arching eyebrows. One night I have no choice because I no longer have clothes to wear. I wear the housefit I always wear, and I didn’t expect to receive unkind remarks from him. I heard how he lustfully said how nice my "sit-upons" are. I told him it was the uncomfiest comment I got from him, and with respect, I asked him to stop that. He got angry and got up from his chair. He shouted at me, body-shamed me, and told me bad things that made my confidence stoop low. How ironic. Ever since that night, whenever I got out of my room, he would stare at me and tell me things like "body shaming, "face shaming, and even laugh at how my family got broken up. It was frustrating and draining. I told my grandmother about it, and she told me "Hayaan mo na". I have no choice but to deal with it every day and every night. I started wearing baggy clothes and other men's outfits just to cover up my body. I never went out of my room unless school or a very important event happened. I got scared. I have anxiety. I started hating my grandmother for the way she reacted to things that happened to me. I told my sister about it, and I didn’t expect that she and I would be in the same situation. We got closer because of that, and we even go out of our room together.

Verbal harassment specifically bodyshaming isn’t the only thing he did to me and to my sister. I remembered that night when he came home drunk and ate the food that was supposedly mine. I told my grandmother about it and scolded my uncle. He got up from his seat and pushed the plates away from the table. He got so angry that he walked towards me and slapped my face with his heavy, raspy hands. I cried as he forcefully pulled my arm and gripped it. My sister fought. She impaled the uncle with her nails and scratched his eyes out. You wouldn’t believe me when I say we punch him a lot of times and even kick him. He couldn't fight back as he was dizzy from the alcohol. We shouted "tulong" when we got out of the house. Our neighbors accommodated us and comforted my sister and me. They insisted on calling the police, but my grandmother begged them not to.

Even after that incident happened, my grandmother and other family members on my mother’s side would just always say "hayaan mo na, tito mo pa rin naman yun," and I started hating them. I no longer hangout the way I used to before. My father’s side also hated my mother's family. They’ve been there with me even though they live far from our house. They never disappoint me when I call for help. Things got worse and worse every day and every night. My mother would just cry as she couldn't do anything—she was working abroad. When my father came home from Cavite, that’s when my mother decided to send us to my dad, even if it was against her will, as she no longer knew what to do.

Yes, I left my favorite hometown because of this incident. The things that happened there still haunt me. I got insecure and anxious about my body and the way I looked to people. I just want to say I love you to those people who experienced the same thing that happened to me. Harassment is a serious problem that needs to be addressed. Don’t invalidate someone who is a victim of harassment, and stop victim blaming. I hope people will be more open-minded about this matter and be helpful to the victim.

[princecharmingtobe]

I added a new song to V’s playlist the other day, finally found one that sort of works for his relationship with his dad.

The song is Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own by U2. Not my favorite in sound, but the lyrics work.

You’ve got...

“Tough You think you've got the stuff You're telling me and anyone You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight You don't have to always be right Let me take some of the punches For you tonight

Listen to me now I need to let you know You don't have to go it alone “

Which is V essentially calling out Rowen’s tough and edgy attitude, and acting like he doesn’t need or want anyone. Telling him “You don’t HAVE to be alone, let me, let ANYONE be there for you, support you, love you! You don’t have to be the tough guy, you can just be my dad, for ONCE!” 

Then there’s...

“We fight all the time You and I, that's alright We're the same soul

I don't need, I don't need to hear you say That if we weren't so alike You'd like me a whole lot more “

Last night we were actually talking about them having a fight, in which V accuses Rowen of being scared to change. “You don’t know who you’d be if you weren’t suffering alone, and that terrifies you!” and they get into it about V wanting Rowen to change and Rowen wishing he would just accept him how he is. V calls him a stubborn ass, and Rowen tells him “It runs in the family!” before they storm off in different directions. And it hits on something I’ve brought up before, that they are essentially two sides of the same coin. And the things that frustrate Rowen the most about his son are things he sees in himself. And I think V sees it too and it probably scares him to consider how much like his father he really is...

“And it's you when I look in the mirror And it's you when I don't pick up the phone Sometimes you can't make it on your own “

There was also a joke about Jack trying to talk to Rowen after the fight and saying “You’re son’s kind of a cunt, huh?” and Rowen responding by bloodying his nose and telling him “He gets that from me.” 

We’ve more or less determined that V’s character arc is going to be about him learning to lower his standards for other people. He has particular ideas about what qualifies as “good”, and while he’s not stereotypical paladin level Righteous Judgment about it, he can be judgmental about it. Especially when it comes to the people close to him, he will try to steer them toward his idea of being good. And he sort of gets told in more than one way by more than one person that he needs to adjust his expectations of others. That he can’t change everyone to fit his personal standard of goodness. Even his dad. Which is hard, cause he desperately wants a relationship with his dad, but they butt heads morally a lot.