#he's not entirely straight
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50 NSFW Character Questions: Obi-Wan Kenobi
Alright! Here you go, you buncha smut hounds! JK, I was gonna do this anyway, lol. Have funsies.
Biggest turn-on? When you're in work mode and you've completely forgotten he's there, watching you, discreetly, of course. Your confidence in your abilities and the simple grace with which you execute the simplest of duties. The graceful way your hands hold your lightsaber, he knows what those hands are capable of and he often has to cough away a groan that's threatening to break free.
Biggest turn-off? Arrogance and deceit. Don't lie to him, ever. He'll know.
3. Quiest way to get horny? Clandestine touches that linger a bit too long, teasing him. A brush of your foot against his calf when you sit at the same table while crossing your legs, pretending you didn't notice. Lingering glances when you catch him staring at you followed by a quick appraisal of him, you know he's watching and he likes that. When sitting next to him and your hand brushes his knee then takes a little caressing detail on his thigh before pulling away. It looks so innocent and perhaps even an accident, doesn't it? He knows better, and it only makes him want you more.
4. Top 3 places to be touched?
Lower back, shoulders, thighs. Those Jedi robes are so thick and sometimes heavy, especially when wet. So when he's able to get them off and he tugs off his boots after a long day a sweet caress of your hands across his lower back where the aches tend to lodge does wonders for him. Most back pain is psychological and Obi-Wan carries much of his weight on his shoulders so a little gentle and circular pressure on the tight muscles on his shoulders will always put him in an agreeable mood. His thighs, it's a particular situation that finds this type of touch a possibility and it usually involves shim sitting on the bed or the floor meditating. It's the perfect opportunity to slink up behind him and run your hands along his muscular thighs and watch how the muscles tense and flex under your fingertips.
5. Do you like the idea of a threesome or a moresome?
He's no virgin and he surely had some escapades in his youth though those are tales he keeps to himself, certainly. He considers himself a one-woman/man partner. He likes to keep things intimate between the two of you. More than one partner sounds tiring these days.
6. Sex or masturbation?
He indulges in both though he's more likely to enjoy sex rather than masturbation not because he's denying himself pleasure but because he doesn't often think about it without you there to stir his passions. Still, there are moments late at night when you're on his mind and he's missing your touch, or times when the water in the refresher is the perfect temperature and the water gliding down his body reminds him of your lips on his skin...
7. Spit or swallow?
He knows not all women enjoy swallowing so he'll never expect you to. But if you want to see a side of Master Kenobi that few have ever seen, swallow every drop and lick your lips while looking him in the eye. Then ask him for more.
8. Rough or romantic sex?
He's a passionate and sensual lover so he loves taking his time, after all, you deserve no less, don't you? However, there are instances where he's a little more... needy for control. It's about as rare an instance as they come, but even a total solar eclipse comes around like clockwork.
9. Loud or quiet partners?
He's considerate of those who might be within earshot, and it's not about the volume, it's about the enthusiasm. Your quiet little whimpers affect him just as deeply as when you cry out his name. He's a fan of moments where you have to be quiet, keeping his thrusts slow and deep with his finger in your mouth to give you something to occupy yourself. All the while telling you,
"Shh, darling, that's right, we wouldn't want anyone to find us, now would we? That's a good girl."
10. How much foreplay?
Hours. The man will stretch this intimate act out for as long as he can because for him the art of seduction deserves no less. He loves it that you crave him so much that you're practically mauling him to take you.
11. How much teasing does he like?
He certainly likes a bit of teasing but it's never to be cruel. Only to heighten desire and sensation. As for him being teased, even if he begs you to end his torment, he secretly loves every second of it.
12. Hookups or only partners?
He's had a few hookups as a young Padawan, but those tapered off as he took on a Padawan of his own. Now he much prefers the comfort of a relationship with a partner who he knows and trusts, to know you so well that he knows your thoughts and desires before you even think it. All the better for him to please you.
13. How much kissing during sex?
The only thing that stops him from kissing you is the position you're in. If it were up to him, he'd never stop, that's what lips were made for.
14. Favorite place to have sex?
He has a penchant for wanting you when it's least convenient and he doesn't particularly care where that is. But he enjoys it mostly when it's someplace safe and secure like a private quarters. But if a senator's office happens to be vacant for a short time, the mood tends to strike him.
15. Would he have sex in public?
He would never put you in a position where either of your reputations could be sullied by such a sacred act but he would most certainly not turn down the opportunity.
16. Last place he had sex?
His quarters on the ship just before docking, darling, don't you remember? Must have done quite a number on you then...
17. Where would he most like to have sex?
He doesn't care but if he could, he would whisk you away to some quiet planet far from the chaos of Coruscant and the Temple, a place where only the noon sun would wake you and clothing would be optional, of course.
18. Spontaneous sex or does he need to be in the mood?
He has to mostly be in the mood because he is a Jedi Master after all, he does have to restrain himself and duties to attend to. However, when you tease him like you did this morning in that council meeting... Well... Spontaneity can be the harbinger of bliss.
19. Would he go for a hookup at a stranger's house?
When he was younger, probably. These days, no.
20. Biggest kink?
Sensory play. He loves cutting off your senses to heighten all others. Blindfolds, masks, dark rooms, each one isn't only an encounter, it's an opportunity. And he is a man of opportunity.
21. Is he ok with name-calling?
No, it takes real prodding to get him to call you anything worse than his naughty girl. He would never call you his little slut, or so he thinks...
22. Would he do BDSM?
Yes, it's an exercise in complete trust, control and respect.
23. Would he prefer to tie you up or be tied up?
He'll do both. He loves to have you at his mercy but surprisingly enough, he adores it when you take control and restrain him. He loves the feeling of letting go and being overwhelmed by pleasure by one who knows him so well. To know that you can touch him but he can't touch you, after a busy day as a Master on the High Council making decisions and ordering others around, he's perfectly content letting you call the shots.
24. Does he like orgasm denial?
He'll never deny you anything for long, he can't bear it. You were meant for him to touch as please and spoil. Even if he agrees to such a game, he'll be giving in faster than you. On the flip side, he wasn't sure what he thought of the idea at first until he learned to relish the exquisite pleasure of denial and the tsunami of ecstasy that awaited him once you gave in to his pleading.
25. Does he like overstimulation?
Yes, but his tolerance is low. After one he's a bit of a mess and it's a rare occasion when you can bring him to three in a row before he's begging to touch you instead. Pleading for the exquisite torment to end. And when it's his turn, he's unmerciful because he knows you love it when he takes control and you're powerless to stop the tide of pleasure that washes over you on his command. But he will always stop when you tell him to, that's what safewords are for, darling.
26. Does he like pain being involved?
No. Sex is for pleasure, not pain. You've both experienced far too much of that for it to have any place in your bed.
27. Does he like dirty talk?
Oh. Stars. They don't call him the Negotiator for nothing. He's a silver tongue in every sense of the word and he'll use the most eloquent and beautiful words to describe in excruciating detail all the things and ways he wants to ravage your body.
28. Does he own sex toys? How many?
While there are toys available across the galaxy, Obi-Wan prefers a more... blasphemous approach. After all, what greater toy is there than the invisible Force that binds all things and flows through all creatures that he can bend to his will just as readily and easily as you can? Yes, the occasional toy might make it into the sanctuary that is your bedroom but they're never a prominent feature for long.
29. What does he masturbate to?
Mostly memories of you. He's well aware such holos exist but while he's watched them, when he's alone his thoughts are consumed with you. Remembering all the ways you quiver when he touches you and the ferocity in which you shatter for him and how you beg for more.
30. Multiple rounds or will he settle for one orgasm?
Multiple rounds. He is a Jedi after all. Just don't expect to give him back-to-back orgasms, the poor man is a bit delicate in that regard.
31. Does he enjoy giving oral?
He enjoys it and treats it like a performance or a ritual. He relished every taste of you knowing he's the only one who will ever have the pleasure. Connecting with you in a way when you're at your most vulnerable, your most exposed, using his in-depth knowledge of your body to bring you as much pleasure as you can stand.
32. Does he prefer giving or receiving oral?
He's a giver but the poor man rarely allows himself to be spoiled, so sometimes you have to simply take charge. He sometimes seems to forget that pleasure is mutual and once he gives in, it never takes long, he's a mess of a man. Legs splayed wide, his hair a disheveled mess, chest heaving struggling to remember how to breathe, he can't bring himself to stop his hips thrusting upward and even though you're gagging on him he still insists on trying to get out an apology. A gentleman even at this moment. And he's not quiet about it, he's loud. Each moan is so unrestrained it's almost music, especially when he begins to stutter his words, signaling his impending orgasm. When it washes over him he's nearly boneless as if he forgot just how good it feels to be spoiled himself.
33. What makes him orgasm the fastest?
Not that he'll ever admit it, and not that it works for anyone else except for you, but calling him by his title of Master or specifically General seems to have quite an effect on him. When your eyes roll back in ecstasy and you beg him for more, to hurt you a little bit is what usually signals the end for him. It's close to darkness and it's tempting to fall over with you.
34. Does he like/do anal/pegging?
He'll try probably try anything once, if you want him to fuck your ass he'll do it because he wants you and desires your pleasure. And if he's being honest with himself, he's always wanted to have you completely like that. But he would never be the first to mention it or ask for it. As for pegging, it would be a slow and sensual process because it is at that moment about his pleasure and while he might be a bit reluctant to admit it, he wants someone to take control over him. Be gentle with your General here.
35. Favorite position?
Loves having you in his lap because he's thinking about how much he wants to have you riding him in his council chair. Loves having you on top because he can lay back and admire your beauty. He also likes the Lotus, because it goes well with meditation. He also loves the Lazy Dog because it makes it easier to whisper all those salacious things to you and you can't escape him.
36. Does he use protection?
What Jedi doesn't? He would be very careful.
37. Does he masturbate with clothes on?
And risk making a mess of his robes? Never. He likes being naked.
38. How does he prefer his partner's hair/grooming?
He prefers a kept appearance but ultimately he's not terribly particular.
39. What does he wear to bed?
If he's alone? Nothing. He likes the feeling of smooth sheets on his skin because it reminds him of your touch.
40. What does he like his partner to wear?
He's a simple man and he likes you in nothing at all. But he loves finding you in his shirt or just his robes.
41. Does he like his balls played with?
Quickest was to make a mess of Master Kenobi while giving in him a blow job. He loves it.
42. What is his sexuality?
As straight as my spine, but he's loyal to his lover. He is probably pansexual.
43. Does he have extreme or unusual kinks?
Nothing extreme but he has a bit of a taboo role play he likes and that's the classic Master/Padawan, but only with you, of course.
44. How often does he masturbate?
He tends to neglect his personal desires, so not often but when he finds himself in a rare moment of peace, and arousal, maybe several times in a single day. He's never counted.
45. Favorite toy?
You.
46. Does he like roleplay?
Yes, loves it. Conisders it a healthy and safe way to discover one's own darkness and know oneself. Loves the Master/Padawan thing, after he discovered Anakin and Padme's romance he realized he likes the idea of the Jedi and the Civil Servant, with emphasis on the servant.
47. Any festishes?
No.
48. Aftercare?
You could not ask for a better lover for aftercare. He will hold you till you stop shaking, draw warm water for a bath, and sink into it with you while washing your hair all the while telling you how beautiful you look and how amazing you are.
49. Does he ever go comando?
You know it. Jedi robes come standard, underwear? Not so much.
50. Phone sex?
Com conversations are usually not something that can be concealed but if he steps away from earshot he might tell you how much he's looking forward to having you alone again. And if a holo transmission happens to come through and he's alone in his quarters for the night, he'll take great pleasure in instructing you to do as he likes and he'll absolutely return the favor.
Alright! That's Obi-Wan, what did you guys think? Should I do more? Oh, should I do a Sith Obi-Wan???? Who else should I do? Maul? Hux? Quinlan Voss? Enjoy my dears.
@pickleprickle @hereticpriest @decembermidnight @burnthecheshirewitch @starvingbrokestudent @bad4amficideas @split-spectrum @imherefordeanandbones @rivnedell
#headcanon#obiwan head canon#fictional men and their kinks#lord help me i am going straight to hell#obiwan kenobi smut#obiwan kenobi#obiwan kenobi imagine#dark obiwan imagine#he's a switch#he's not entirely straight#daddy wan kenobi#this man needs good sex
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Fox gets kidnapped once. It's because he's the Commander of the Guard and he actually knows a lot about the Chancellor and the wildly different security measures on Coruscant, because at this point, he's kinda responsible for them all. All in one package.
Expect the kidnappers use some sort of tranquliaser or other drug on him, and Fox, who has not eaten for 23 hours and has not slept for at least four times as long, drops like a fucking fly that has been zapped.
Cody gets there with the rest of the 212th after a while and proceeds to beat the shit out of all the kidnappers. Fox has no idea any of this is happening. He's having the best fucking sleep he's gotten in months.
#cody goes to pick him up and carries him to their ship#pics start to circulate very quickly about this and people think fox is straight-up dead#fox is just quietly snoring through all of this#cody and the rest of the 212th notice that fox is absolutely battered and not doing great otherwise either#and they so believe that the kidnappers have been beating him#meanwhile fox has just slept through the entire ordeal#he straight up didn't even know he had been kidnapped in the first place#sw#tcw#Commander Fox#Commander Cody
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as much as i love sam knowing about destiel before dean does, there's something about "i mean yeah my brother and his angel best friend are really weird about each other, live together, co-parent a kid, nearly kill themselves every time the other is gone, stand too close and stare at the other's mouth while they talk, but i mean to each their own i guess??" that's so special to me
#it's just so funny#and when it finally clics he's like#OH#that... explains a lot actually#he's so committed to believe dean's heterosexual act#and you know what i respect sam for it#if the dude says he's straight then it doesn't matter he stares at men lusting! he's STRAIGHT.#i'm sam btw#i had a friend who told me for 6 months he was straights while he performed in my face Telephone by Lady Gaga#and also knew the entire loona lore#but he said he was STRAIGHT okay#i had the audacity (or the politeness ig) to act surprised when he came out#i'm rambling#sorry#destiel#dean winchester#castiel#supernatural#spn#casdean#sam winchester
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3am Prompt/Au Idea
What if, like love evil Dick in DC Vampires, more power to him, but like, imagine for a second...
Bruce, after finding out one of his kids is the self-proclaimed Vampire King, just holds up his hand, gathers up said kids into a room and just-
"I am not mad-" Several exchange looks that are half alarmed and half guilty, seeing as they're unsure why they've been gathered up at this moment. "-nor am I disappointed."
Bruce, fully channeling dad mode, "But what did we agree on for world domination plans?" (Somewhere a snooping hero chokes)
"Not to do it when you're on world so you don't have to at least attempt to stop us?"
"Exactly. Now, which one of you broke the rule and now has new medical information you didn't inform Alfred of...?"
#batman au#prompts#batman#dc#dcu#batfamily#dc vs vampires#vampire dick grayson#batfam prompts#batfam#alfred pennyworth#dick grayson#bruce wayne#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#duke thomas#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#the entire batfam#he gathered All of Them into the room#Batfam all know Dick is a vampire but no one else has any clue what happened#Bruce (straight faced to the JL): False alarm meant to breed distrust I tested all of them#Bruce about his kids: Look if you can't beat em join em#“I couldn't stop them from vigilantism when they were children do you think I could stop them taking over the world NOW that they're older?
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(breathing into a paper bag) FRALIO....
can't believe they gave us another guy. oh my god. so I guess Kelka is more, uhhh, more OOO then, and Fralio is Ankh? not that it matters too much, although they do seem to be doing something with the connected Riders so. who knows. anything goes! or if I may, anything gOOOes! god. of course they're the Ambition parallel. of course they are. oh my god.
fortunately there's nothing else they can throw at me right now that could possibly --
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#art#ride kamens#ride kamens spoilers#OKAY i am caught up through show my cards so i feel more confident about going into main story part 2#unless there's some absolutely wacky lore thrown into the fun rollerblades event WHO KNOWS AT THIS POINT#extra excited for these guys now! can't wait to meet them properly :D#gosh though i am so afraid for jou in part 2#he's grown on me so much and i can't help but think getting backstory so soon is an ominous sign#especially for a wisdom guy i mean COME ON#i'm getting kiriya vibes and i don't like where this is heading#on the one hand if they legit kill off a character in their joseimuke gacha game...i mean. respect.#but also i want jou to be okay :(#i want everyone to be okay except maybe taiten because what is even going on with him#me yesterday: oh i don't think he's straight-up evil :) now let me just finish up the space event...#taiten: let's talk about plan DOMINATE PLANET#damnit taiten#tangentially i do think it would be EXTREMELY funny if the whole soun thing was a fakeout and murakumo was just some other dude entirely#soun's soft spot for uryuu and dislike for taiten is entirely coincidental#(probably based around the fact that taiten is INCREDIBLY evil) (or is he) (i mean yes)#he's multilayered he doesn't need a narrative reason to have opinions about other characters what are you his MOM
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never let it be said that shen yuan doesnt fight for his man with bloody teeth
he started off already risking being sent back to his dead body to protect baby binghe the best he could on his first meeting and then continued to do so once the ooc shackles came off, made sure he felt loved and safe and at home on cqm, gave him every advantage he could think of (and then wondered why binghe got out of the abyss 2 yrs early, honey...), but bc those scum villain blinders were on so tight, he doesnt accept that he (the man shen yuan inside the character shen qingqiu) can change his own path enough to not be killed, and plans his own death accordingly bc he wont ever fight against binghe again if he can help it, i just...
this man loves binghe so much that he couldnt even conceive of a world in which binghe loves him back - and thats not just the comphet olympics in his brain talking, sy genuinely believes he's unlovable and only maybe sort of likeable by his fellow peak lords, and part of that comes from being forced into a scum villains role and not knowing the bigger picture behind sqq's actions (not even touching on how sy barely saw the entire cast of pidw as people until binghe actually looked hurt to him), but the rest was already preprogrammed before he transmigrated, and i want to know who hurt him so bad - bc all sy could imagine is that the whole world should love binghe, bc thats howmuch sy loves him the story is supposed to go, but all he could imagine for himself was gratitude at best and his demise at worst, until the very moment that it becomes clear that lbh has done everything, fucking EVERYTHING, to get sqq to love him back and i just SCREAMS
i cant imagine that sy would just let binghe go if he should ever decide to love someone else, the possession goes both ways with these two, and sy would fight tooth and nail to keep binghe for himself
#svsss#bingqiu#ur honor in unwell about these men#what im saying is i want more content of sy going absolutely feral over lbh being in distress#i want to see sy tearing entire civilizations down for daring to not love his binghe#someone mentions that lord luo is looking at adding more consorts to his castle and sy loses his entire shit about it#confronting lbh the only way he knows how with cold cunning and strategic marriages of those rumored beauties to someone else in the court#before saying some shit equivalent to 'i dont want to share you' but in sqq-ese to lbh#listen im promise ill get back to hatman au eventually but this has been digging at my brain for a week straight now#any world where sqq even gets a WHIFF of lbh suddenly showing him slightly less affection is not a world he will abide by#will he actually use his words to say so? no cuz theres no plausible deniability that way#but will he take action about it??? oh with spiteful glee
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The world isn’t ready for my alpha kid readings.
#jane crocker#jake english#roxy lalonde#dirk strider#homestuck#alpha kids#Jane is the struggler don’t you EVER contest that#many might argue it’s Jake but he doesn’t struggle inherently#usually he just vibes until he’s forced into situations wherein he struggles#Jane struggles from the beginning#her entire arc is a struggle#also had to change it from “the fujoshi” mostly cause I don’t like that and also cause it’s not as versatile as the other labels#I don’t actually think Dirk is boring btw i just think that when put up against his friends he has a lot less complexity going on#like his arc is fairly simple as opposed to Jane and Jake’s#and even Roxy’s#His problems seem inherently a lot more straight forward to me simply because he’s articulate enough to realize he has problems#Jane and Jake are almost there#problems are like on the tip of their tongues#and Roxy is kinda like the John of the team where she isn’t even gonna acknowledge the possibility of problems#girl is like “problems? haha not me#I’m the put together one in this group :)”#and just ignores all her internalized misogyny and heteronormativity#she is a mirror to Vriska in that they both put a lot of emphasis on preforming romanticism as a means of affirming their gender#anyway my alpha kid readings are way too boring so I feel like nobody would really be interested in them Sighhhh
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the barista lady in the treviso café fucking giggles every time you buy the fancy coffee lucanis likes from her btw. can't believe the game is calling out rook and me like this
#I've tried it several times to check it wasn't a fluke and nope it does happen consistently I'm pretty sure it's intentional#bioware Know. they knowwww. they know exactly what I'm like and god bless them for it#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#café pietra barista gazing kindly at rye like 'I know what you are.' (a simp) while the tips of his ears go very very warm#clearly some sort of underlying drift compatability here since rook in one night can somehow manage to hit on all two (2)#of the elements of lucanis' instinctive understanding of courtship behaviour (knives and coffee/food) hfksjdfhas#in lucanis' defense when a guy buys you knives AND good coffee (despite not even drinking the stuff much himself) on a first date...#when your love language is that unhinged and they straight up compose a shakespeare level sonnet in it on the spot#seemingly without even realizing it. I mean what else can you be expected to do but fall so cataclysmically in love#that you'd kill god over it any day of the week easy. wild stuff#even wilder since in my playthrough he isn't entirely sure rye meant anything by it/as more than a friendly gesture#for like. MONTHS.#lucanis is a regular at that place and they all for sure know exactly who he is so can you IMAGINE the gossip that must start#after that conversation starts to take on a flirty edge. hotboi crown prince of the crows returns from the dead and is making eyes#at ~*mysterious stranger*~ who just showed up in town. some I hear netherfield park is let at last stuff going on for these guys#as they watch all of this go down
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#Saw a man bite straight through a chicken bone on YouTube.#I was gripped. In awe.#A jaw strength rivaled only by - I thought to myself - Present Mic#can't even remember how I got onto the video but it's stuck with me ever since#he had a captivating positive vibe. I would enjoy a meal with him. The chicken looked a little underdone though#bnha#mha#shouta aizawa#hizashi yamada#present mic#bnha comic#not even technically a comic this bad boy is two slides#always thinking about the rooftop gang naming Sushi like 'whats everyones favourite food?'#and Yamada says 'fried chicken' like that would be the best name for a cat- actually. you know what. that is a pretty good name for a cat#Might call my next tarantula Fried Chicken. Who knows?#Edited the last panel to take out the speech bubble cause it looked like I was implying it was weird to eat bone marrow#But I meant the entire bone itself like the crunchy bit#But apparently they do that in some places so I thought that it might come across as a bit insensitive and I didnt wanna get cancelled.#eat bones if you want I would love to eat bones but I'm a coward#It's not really a thing in the UK I don't think. I've never seen anyone do it. I guess we just produce a lot of food waste.#so nobody was going to tell me you could eat bones? I just had to find out myself on Youtube?
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Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)
This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)
I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)
Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!
Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!
He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!
Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.
Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:
I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao
Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)
Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:
He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.
To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.
Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)
A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~
The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D
No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.
I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:
He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)
And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:
Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:
Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)
whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now
I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE
#fanart#gravity falls#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#stanley pines#the love god#human bill cipher#human bill design#fashion design#comics#poor stan gets to find out his twin boinked a triangle when the love god shows up at the mystery shack demanding payment LMAO#cue internal panic for stan as dipper and mabel lose their collective shit over the fact that they now have a surprise new grunkle bill#the love god helps himself get paid by teaching the kids how to trap bill in his human vessel for the foreseeable future#bill is bewildered and pissed but also very much 'holy shit i have a FAMILY again??? neat but terrifying??????? what the F*CK do i do now'#he then proceeds to attempt to lovebomb his new family into being okay with the impending apocalypse#all while the three of them attempt to lovebomb HIM into giving up his plans for said impending apocalypse#then two days later ford shows up and is just like. what the ACTUAL F*CK IS HAPPENING???#cue stan immediately screaming 'I HAD TO PRETEND TO BE THAT THING'S HUSBAND FOR TWO DAYS STRAIGHT SO F*CK YOU AND YOUR BAD TASTE FOR THAT!'#stan spends those two days straight dropping very sour hints that he's being punished for someone else's terrible mistakes#bill finds this absolutely hilarious and thus plays along - but not without dropping his own hints that ford is the FAR superior twin#dipper and mabel have ZERO idea of what is actually going on because the love god did NOTHING to clarify the situation#dipper is convinced that stan and bill are speaking in some kind of bizarre code that only adults can understand#mabel is convinced that the code is flirting - which means stan and bill are going to live happily ever after and have tons of kids + pets#NEITHER of them are prepared for ford showing up. not that they were in canon. but still. now it's even MORE crazy#'what do you mean we get TWO NEW GRUNKLES???' 'two grunkles in two days - gotta be some kinda record'#ford then has to decide if he wants to remain justifiably furious at bill or join the other pines in lovebombing him into submission#he then gets to learn that lovebombing bill works surprisingly well because that triangle is just The Biggest Attention Wh*re#the entire AU would just be ridiculous antics with a splash of billford#these tags are an abomination lmao
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20Nov24
The thing that could always bring gladness Will now surely always bring sadness. Four men in black dress Laid their brother to rest. Liam’s gone? What the fuck is this madness?
#liam payne#rest in peace liam#tw liam's death#my brain is entirely disinterested in processing his death#i've made no progress — it's still october 15 and he's still alive#still can't listen to 1D#the funeral coverage seemed very sanctioned#it was kind of his family to let fans in on the grief#i hope they've had a lot of time to grieve privately#i was so moved all four were there#and that they seem to have orchestrated a unified front in terms of displays of mourning#giving the media just enough to write the headlines#but not turning it into a 'reunion' spectacle#what's hitting me hard is seeing them dressed in their funeral blacks#i fell hard for 1D with their performance of through the dark on snl#i didn't know anything about them before that#and seeing these five men in svelte black suits was so contrary to what i imagined them to be#(well — four were svelte. louis was straight up slutty.)#and their funeral attire takes me back to that moment#but 'through the dark' plays in my head like a dirge now#will it ever not be hard?#hope y'all are all ok#liam's funeral
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it’s always good to be prepared
#otherside picnic#sorawo kamikoshi#egg sorawo#my art#i actually went in portal 2 and built a custom chamber for the bg of panel 1#if u noticed the turrets that’s why :3#all the dialogue save for the last panel is ripped straight from the book i literally didn’t have anything planned the entire time#it was just vibes#also sorry to migiwa forgot u were there till i went looking for quotes#he’s just offscreen
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Soap thinks he is the kinkiest of the 141 for sure. He's had a threesome before. One time he let a lassie finger his arse. He's even went down on a girl in a bathroom stall in a club before!
Poor boy is in for a rude awakening on how vast the world of kink actually is when Ghost casually invites him to a members only club as his guest. Price is a member too actually, is going to bring Gaz. It can be a nice 141 night out :)
#mhairidrabbles#Johnny and Kyle out here sure it's an old mans club and saying yes out of finding their superiors officers endearing#Johnny cannot stop staring at the man in full pup gear and about passes out when he crawls over to sniff at him#Kyle is ramrod straight and staring ahead as Price is getting head from a man that looks sort of like him right beside him#holding a full conversation with them the whole time as well - like Price is ignoring the person blowing him entirely
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Prompt 168
So. Apparently halfas are like phoenixes or something, which Danny would’ve really liked to know.
See, usually with ghosts if they’re forced to retreat to their cores they reform as was, but apparently, since they’re still partially living, schrodinger's people and all that, halfas have to regrow their body from scratch. At least that’s what he’s understanding from Frostbite.
But how come he has to deal with it? It’s Dan’s fault for trying to pull such a stunt! Oh, it’s either him or Vlad? Well fuck, he might have calmed down and is going to therapy in both the living realm and the Zone, but he’s waaay not equipped to raise a child except for like, monetarily wise.
Well dammit, how long will this core incubation thing last, he has his new job in… let him check which offer he accepted again… He has his new job in Coast City that he needs to finish packing for and then all the rest of the stuff to do.
What do you mean it’ll take months?! He doesn’t have months?! Urgh, fine. At least being a mortician isn’t that exciting, nor dangerous. Just hand him Dan’s core and he’ll figure things out for the living side of things. He’s sure Tucker and Sam wouldn’t be against helping, if only to try and claim favorite aunt or uncle spots.
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#Coast City is where Hal Jordan lives hilarious enough#I just chose a random city but honestly a green lantern city is hilariously on brand for where Danny would choose to move#He’s just a cheerful space core dude who is glaring down several ghosts & helping others move on while he’s working#He’s also slightly uncanny valley to people outside of Amity & doesn’t realize it#He runs into a reporter Wes at some point & okay the fact he looks like the lady doing math meme when seeing Dan?#Utterly hilarious#Danny holding a newborn with matching slightly pointy ears and claws :)#Wes who is *pretty sure* Danny is cis but is second guessing everything now:#Danny is going to do his best to avoid any hero BS#He’s trying to do his JOB#Who cares if he brings his baby to work he needs to eat and he isn’t going to hire a babysitter#Bby Jordan tried to set the house on fire during his last tantrum do you THINK anyone else can deal with him? That’s what he thought now ou#Ellie visits as well & straight up melts out of the wall sometimes like a horror movie#She has weaponized her goo powers and is also excited to show her dad her new gravity ones#Space Core Danny + Fire Core Vlad = Sun Core Dan#Ellie has a Moon core (something something phases of the moon & travelling across the night sky)#Danny is encountering so many rogues and heroes and just doesn’t acknowledge it because he has a literal BABY who can destroy the entire JL#He’s very tired and would like a nap now
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forced to once again remember how shadow is laughing when he says "i think i figured out what the ultimate lifeform is! it might be you!"
#speaking#he says this while literally actively dying in space losing energy enough that he isn't too prideful to say straight up#that he can't last very long like this while sonic's almost every voice line has some variant of 'shadow you okay?!?!'#he just fucking. laughs. i can only imagine it's that tired exhausted manic state that makes him go 'haha ... sonic!!!'#insane to me. like . jesus christ dude. what the fuck.#i was gonna say this is an unhinged reaction to reframing your entire life and purpose but at the same time i guess he already did that#smth smth 'i have to keep my promise to maria ... and you' (dies) (im talking about myself but him too he dies too)
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What if the tracker Donnie put in Leo worked the entire time Leo was bouncing around the universe?
Maybe Donnie ended up making a spaceship for them to go out into space and find Leo, constantly having to change course when they see his tracker spontaneously move somewhere else. It’s annoying that the tracker moves so often, but it’s also a relief, because if it ever stopped moving, or worse disappeared, then…
At any rate, space adventures for all of them as Donnie, Mikey, and Raph (+ others like April and maybe the Caseys) try to get Leo back and Leo keeps desperately trying to get back home, not knowing his family was coming for him.
#rise comic spoilers#tmnt 40th anniversary#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rise didn’t have space adventures so this ends up working out nicely#also gives way for them to meet people like Renet and Mona and all that jazz#+meeting various alien bad guys#what if at one point the others actually catch up and ALMOST grab him but he teleports right before they can get to him#Donnie after working an entire months straight to distract himself from his grief and desperation: behold! a spaceship#Donnie after working an entire month straight to distract himself from grief and desperation: behold! a spaceship! let’s get going Now
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