#he's my little goober guy. a lovely of sorts. a friend :) with a lot of love

[aroacewxs]

i can slowly feel the yttd brainworms eating up my mind

[the-bus-called-graveyard-8]

Madagascar in Nickelodeon Magazine (part 1 of 4)

Madagascar was first featured in Nick Mag in the June/July 2005 issue, shortly after the film's May 2005 release.

Here we have the cover of the magazine, featuring Alex, Gloria and the Penguins

Next we have an ad for the tie-in video game

Finally we have a two-page spread featuring an interview with the main cast. Full transcription of the interview under the read more!

We talked to the stars of the new animated movie Madagascar. The film is about some animals from New York City's Central Park Zoo who suddenly find themselves stranded in the wilds of Madagascar, an island of the coast of southern Africa.

On-screen best friends and real-life pals Ben Stiller (near right, who plays Alex the lion) and Chris Rock (far right, who plays Marty the zebra) talked to us about their characters.

Nickelodeon Magazine: What is your character like? Ben Stiller: Alex is sort of the king of the Central Park Zoo. He enjoys being the main attraction and would be happy for things to always stay the same. Chris Rock: Marty is the adventurer of the group. He's not content in the zoo. He's the guy who asks, "What more could we be doing with ourselves?"

Nick Mag: Are you at all like your character? Ben: A little bit. [Like Alex,] I'm a New Yorker and a creature of habit. I like the comforts of home. And Alex is sort of an actor. He's a performer who has the self-delusional, self-involved thing that I think every actor can identify with. Chris: [Like Marty,] I always wanted to get away from where I grew up.

Nick Mag: What was the hardest thing about recording your lines? Ben: The time frame was crazy. It was like, "Wow, we're still doing this? They were serious about [this taking] four years?" At one point, I felt like all I ever said was "Marty!" Literally, for years. Chris: "Am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes?" How many times did I say that?

Nick Mag: Do you ever feel caged up, like you're in a zoo? Ben: Sometimes, when you're not happy on a movie set, it can be like that. Chris: Yeah, movies can be like that. Ben: I remember doing a movie once where, on the first day of rehearsals, I realized, "Uh-oh, this is not good." And I had four months to go.

Nick Mag: Did you do research for your role? Ben: I ate a bowl of Frosted Flakes because of Tony the Tiger, and then I realized I was playing a lion and that I was really off.

Nick Mag: Favorite movie snack? Ben: I'm a big M&M's guy—peanut or plain. Chris: Popcorn and Raisinettes, but I wish they served banana cream pie!

We got the skinny on Jada Pinkett Smith's big character, Gloria the hippo.

Nickelodeon Magazine: What is your character like? Jada Pinkett Smith: She's like the mother of the gang. She wants to make sure that everybody is happy and taken care of.

Nick Mag: Are you anything like her? Jada: I have a real loyalty to my friends, just like Gloria does.

Nick Mag: Was the recording process hard? Jada: It was pretty challenging. You have to be really patient. You don't have the other actors there, there are no props, and you don't know what the scene looks like. It's just you and some paper with words on it.

Nick Mag: Do you have any pets? Jada: I have three dogs and a cat. And I'm about to get three more dogs!

Nick Mag: Do you like the outdoors? Jada: You have to be very cautious, but I love the wild. My intention for the next couple of years is to do more camping and go whitewater rafting in the Grand Canyon.

Nick Mag: Are you freaked out by nature at all? Jada: Not at all. Insects are the only things that kind of freak me out, but I can get used to them.

Nick Mag: Favorite movie snack? Jada: I usually do a mixture of popcorn and Goobers. Now I want some!

David Schwimmer talked to us about his character, Melman the giraffe.

Nickelodeon Magazine: What is your character like? David Schwimmer: Melman is a hypochondriac. he's afraid of almost everything and needs a lot of attention.

Nick Mag: Are you at all like him? David: I'm the opposite. My character couldn't be happier having bars around him so that nothing can get in. Personally, I'd go crazy. I'm low maintenance. I like not having a routine. Also [unlike Melman], I have to be forced to go to the doctor.

Nick Mag: What other kind of animal would you like to play? David: A black panther. There's something powerful and mysterious about it. It's got those green eyes and the sleek black coat. It would also be fun to be a water creature, like a dolphin. [Zelda the roving reporter: You're already a good Schwimmer.]

Nick Mag: Do you ever feel like you're in a zoo? David: I waited tables for seven years at restaurants where I felt like that. I also had a crummy job working in a tiny room in the business center of a hotel in Chicago in a suit and tie from six AM to six PM.

Nick Mag: Do you have any pets? David: I don't. I travel too much. But I had many animals growing up—dogs, a lizard, turtles. I love turtles. Their only protection is hiding—I love that about turtles.

Nick Mag: Favorite movie snack? David: There's no substitute for good, fresh popcorn.

[abbysdruidess]

˜”°•.˜”°• headcanons about you and abby's wedding - modern au •°”˜.•°”˜

wc: 1.1k

warnings: wedding w modern au(obvs), crying, tooth rotting fluff, allusions to sex, no use of y/n

a/n: lmk what you guys think of this one and whether you'd like more of reader and Abby in this universe! don't hesitate to send any requests<33

this is sort of on theme with a previous fic where abby proposes to you, this one can be read as a standalone though:))

❦ after the proposal, you guys hurrying too much to get the wedding off the road and on the rails- you're still extremely proud and giddy to call each other your fianceé, and you've sent about 100 pictures of your wedding ring to everyone.

❦ it isn't until one night where you're having dinner over at jerry's that he brings up the wedding preparations and you're like oh shit, you two kinda need to haul ass and start sending invites.

❦ you decided on a small affair, only your immediate families and close friends over. I imagine that in the insistence of your future brother in law Lev you sent out RSVP invitations that were ocean themed with cute little sharkies on the front that say in a vast ocean of people we found each other(💀). A lot of people found them pretty funny though, and Lev was pretty excited about them.

❦ on par with the beach theme of your engagement, you decided to have the wedding on a beautiful beach resort in the beginning of June-not too hot, not too cold;)-with the ceremony and the reception on the shore.

❦ of course, you couldn't leave out the bachelorette party! You and Abby travel to Vegas with your respective friend groups for a weekend of clubbing and partying in general. And lets be fr, someone from either of two groups ends up getting lost and you have to recover him Hangover style. Thank God you didn't arrange for it the day before the wedding.

❦ the days before the upcoming event are mostly a blur, both of you making last minute arrangements about the food, the flowers, the music. Your gown with the final adjustments is delivered and you have to hide it in a fridge box in the basement so Abby won't take a peek.

❦ "But baaabe, I just wanna see what it looks like! You know this stuff about bad luck isn't actually legit." "I know, but it will be more exciting to see the final look at the wedding. I promise you."

❦ finally the big day is here! And let me just say, as a very emotionally constipated person, you'd probably be a little teary eyed all day long. When you put on your gown and look at yourself in the mirror and realise that holy shit, I'm about to marry the love of my life, my Abigail, she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. And this just hits you all at once and a few tears run down your chin.

❦ if you have any wedding traditions from your culture that you'd like to honour, Abby would be 100% down for it. It makes her feel closer to you, and part of the new family she's going to be in. She also really likes listening to its origins and what it's supposed to represent. In my country, we do this thing where the wedding squad writes all their names down in the couples' shoes and by the end of the night whoever's name is the most smudged is the one who's going to get married first. Let's be real, if they did this, it'd probably Manny whose name had almost disappeared and he'd freak the fuck out.

❦ once you're ready to walk down the aisle, and you glance at Abby you let out a small ᵍᵃˢᵖ at the sight, with Abby dressed to the nines and a glowing expression on her beautiful face. Her mouth also formed a little O at the sight of you, ready to become her wife, looking so so happy and a slightly teary eyed.

❦ during the actual ceremony, you two keep stealing glances at each other, smiling kinda goofily like :]. You two are goobers fr.

❦ for the vows, I think the game establishes that Abby is a big bookworm, so she chooses something perhaps from Emily Bronte or Jane Austen. Of course this isn't the entirety of what she wrote, she just finds it more accurate to express her love for you through someone's else perfectly adept words.

❦ once the reception kicks in, you're carefully wiping tears from your eyes so you don't smudge your makeup, and take some photos with the wedding party on the beach. You're accepting everyone's congratulations for your newlywed status, and settling down to prepare for your first dance.

❦ you had decided on dancing to Por Una Gabeza, and had actually rehearsed the slow tango a couple times so your movements are synchronised. By the end of the dance, you're in each other's arms, cheek to cheek simply enjoying the moment.

❦ by the time you've finished you meal, the party is in full swing, and you join in for a few dances until you decide on a cake break and allow Yara to be Abby's dancing partner. By the way, your wedding cake? Exquisite, chocolate ice cream with strawberry.

❦ I also imagine you guys doing the whole tossing the bouquet thing and -surprise surprise!-it ends up on Manny's lap on accident. He almost leaves.

❦ by the night, you're both clinging to each other, ready to resume your lives as Mrs and Mrs, and also ready to break into the bridal bed. Seriously, you can feel Abby's fingers feeling up your thigh and she's been whispering the things she wants to do to you all night. By 2 in the morning you're home, very much exhausted by the preparations and the emotional high, but also very ready to let Abby peak what's under your bridal gown.

❦ for wedding gifts to each other? She hands you two tickets for some exotic island you guys always talked about going, and make it your honeymoon. You get her an antique vinyl record player, because she had always been going about getting something to listen music to while cooking. Needless to say you both love each other's gifts:D

❦ a week or so after the ceremony you receive the photographs, and Abby makes it her duty to hand them on every corner of the house. Seriously, at some point, you could see a photo of you two in your field of vision pretty much about everywhere.

❦ her favourite one remains in her desk, one where you two are about to leave, sweaty and drunk, the camera capturing your musky faces as you sit on her lap clinging for dear life. It's so sweet and endearing, and it reminds her why she married you in the first place.

[rainbowdelicsunshine]

Rate TF2 characters fave to least and why

OH JESUS CRIMINY THIS IS GONNA BE SO HARD SINCE I LOVE ALL THE MERCS EQUALLY FOR THEIR OWN INDIVIDUAL REASONS!!!!!!

I'll try my best lolol!

FAV TO LEAST

------------------------------------------------

The Soldier

My Loud Autistic American Darling...

He's Literally Fucking Hilarious

Soldier in Expiration Date is Peak Autism and Solly at his Best!

His love for raccoons and other weirdo animals alike

Has a Fantastic Smile

The Sniper

Tall Hot Autistic Aussie..... (he's so hot why??)

His Voice is Fucking Peak and Could Listen to it All Day

He Takes Psychedelics (LSD and Shrooms) and is Awesome to Trip With

He's a Smooth Talker Who has AMAZING Lines

Also a Lowkey Animal Lover (even if he hunts them too)

The Medic

Meet the Medic and Emesis Blue were HUGE culprits to this placement!

Archimedes is the Best Birb!

HE'S FUCKING HILARIOUS MY GOD!!!!!!

AND HIS VOICE IS CREEPY AND ITS ADORKABLE!!!!!!

Plus he and Heavy's relationship is so sickeningly sweet and I love them!!!

The Engineer

He's Super Smart and I LOVE how he's Basically Study Partners with Medic!

His Accent and his Speech Pattern are to Die For!

HIS GUITAR PLAYING AND THAT HE MAKES MUSIC!!!!!!

His Giant Ass Ego that He Somehow Keeps More in Check than the Others

He's a Goofy Goober Yall!!

The Demoman

HIS LORE AND HALLOWEEN STUFF ARE SO RAD!!!!!

He's Actually a Hard Fuckin Worker and Deserves a Lot of Credit for It

HIS LINES!!!!!!! HIS VOICE MAN!!!!!!!!!

The Angst about His Childhood, Losing His Eye, just an ANGST MACHINE

LOVED DEMO IN EMESIS BLUE!!!!!!!

The Spy

He's so Fucking Fascinating and Intriguing, Makes me Wanna Learn More About This Fucker

Is Lowkey a Snarky Shit (like his son lolol) and I wish they would showcase that side of him more ("Oh Scout, please, go fuck yourself"!)

Would LOVE to see how he is as Dad!Spy (Either to Scout or another kid he has in the future)

I WANT this man to say Fuck and Shit WAY MORE OFTEN!!!!!

I Like that He Does Actually Care for the Mercs (Just in his Own Secret Way)

The Scout

He's a Funny, Snarky, Lud Lil Shit!!

He's Actually Lowkey Hilarious

HES FUCKING PEAK IN EXPIRATION DATE!!!!!!

He and Ms. Pauling are SO FUCKING ADORABLE AND TWIDASH CODED FITE ME!!!!!!!

I See Him as a Brother Figure of Sorts and I Really Like Him for That!

The Pyro

A Sweetie Pie, A Cutie Patootie, A Little Guy...

....Will Still Burn Down a Village with No Hesitation!

Even Though They Have Their Setbacks, They're Still Very Intelligent and Successful (hello comics)!

They Have AWESOME music tastes!

Pyro is a Force to be Reckoned With!

The Heavy

A Big Man with a Giant Heart (Literally and Metaphorically)!

This Fucker and his Sandvich will NEVER cease to amuse me!

HEAVYMEDIC ARE THE PEAK CANON TF2 COUPLE RAGGGHHH!!!!!

Super Intelligent and Super Sweet

He, Like All the Mercs, is Fucking Hilarious, My God!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS TOOK FOR-FUCKING-EVER!!!!!!!!

This was a LOT of work and fun that I had here, I really hope you enjoy reading through it all!

I hope you come back here again and have a wonderful night my friend!!

[bonefall]

who is a character that you love in BB (for better or for worse lol) that you haven’t talked much about yet?

These kinds of questions can be difficult because my brain will just forget completely the minute I'm asked. Who am I. What's warriors cat

BUT it's probably some of the little random background guys who have interesting stories I haven't gotten into yet. I've actually been thinking about WindClan a lot.

Galerunner is one of them. Galerunner and Smokehaze are now the kittens of Brushblaze and Whitetail-- both exes of Onestar. They're born near the start of AVoS, and are pretty young when their dad dies collapsing a tunnel to save a ton of Kin escapees.

Smokehaze dies like she does in-canon, to the Impostor, but Galerunner is going to be present to the modern arc. He's Heathertail's little half-brother, in an odd way. Whitetail wasn't involved in raising Heathertail, but openly offered to Onestar that she would if he wanted.

So Heathertail's relationship to Galerunner is closer than her relationship with their mother, bringing them ALL together, and it's just really sweet. She tells him a lot of stories of Brushblaze (who was a really good friend of hers!) and eventually becomes his mentor.

Gale's a cheeky bastard, too. Very smug, self-assured. He thinks he's a cool guy but he just looks like a goober.

There's also Gorsetail, the mother of Thistleheart and Sedgewhisker. She has a lot going on but I haven't figured her out entirely yet.

First of all, she's Crowfeather's childhood best friend. They had a massive falling out over some dumb shit neither one of them even remembers, and drifted apart as young adults. If they ever remembered what it was, they would feel bitter that THIS is why they stopped talking-- but before a certain point, would just blame each other for not making the first move to reconnect.

She fell head over heels for Beechfur on the Great Journey, but he was waaay better at hiding his forbidden love than his sister Swallowtail. He saw it more as a fun fling. When she got pregnant in Po3, he ghosted her immediately. Gorsetail held out hope he was just busy for months-- even naming one kit "Marsh Thistle" as a secret reference to RiverClan.

In terms of personality, I know she was vaguely fun-loving as a kid and probably still has that goofy streak if you can get her to relax. There's probably a bit of a bitterness inside her, and she's not satisfied with her life. She never got to have a happy mateship, she lost one kid, not really powerful or significant. I think she gets more adventurous the older she gets, looking to make some sort of change in her life.

Her and Crowfeather reconnect, once they're older and a bit more self-aware. Passing each other a heatherhoney lozenge like it's a smoke break and commiserating in how wrinkly they are now.

WindClan's full of some interesting dudes now in my effort to distribute more personality outside of ThunderClan. Stoneclaw and her traumatic muteness, Willowclaw the ferocious and her love of kibble, Cranberrysplash the ex-street urchin whose old name was Spaghetti Bolognaise. Leaftail and his onesided rivalry with Hallowflight of RiverClan.

Shame they neglected WindClan so badly and there's so few warriors there with established personalities, but hey. Opportunity for me to build cool stuff.

[ithseem]

The court of darkness tag is looking lonely. Who’s your favorite consort and why?

If I had to pick my absolute favourites, they would have to be:

#3: Toa Maybe it's because I kin Toa, but I also have a soft spot for soft-hearted people. I'll admit he was a bit intimidating at first, but as we get to know him he's shown to be a pretty great person, and a lot more wholesome than I had expected. Take for his example his sweet tooth and his love for animals. Him being an older brother/single father to Knight is really cute to me too. He goes out of his way to protect the wellbeing of his closest friends and I respect that. His book 1 was a fun read and I like how he grew as a person. He got to truly stand up for himself against Guy and to his family in his own way. Also his love for animals is so endearing to me. Him being done with all the bullshit around him is a mood.

#2: Rio I also have a soft spot for himbos and he was actually the first character I fell in love with. He's like a more reserved version of Ash Ketchum in XYZ. Even if his magic truly kicked in later in life than most, he still does his best to protect the ones he cherishes, with or without magic. He's basically the academy's therapy dog. His family is lovely too, so that's nice to see. And don't even get me started on his endearingly jealous side.

#1: Aquia I think anyone's who's been following for me a long time knows that I absolutely adore this lil' goober. He's shy and understated and has a good heart. He's just a lil' guy who loves his flowers and his family. He sees the good in almost everyone and everything. To me, he's quite similar to Neville Longbottom: shy, a little bit anxious, good with plants, and can technically do magic but can't because of some sort of trauma iirc. I also headcanon he has some abandonment issues. Spoilers for his book 1 btw: we know from Guy's path that he tends to the flowers in the castle gardens, but he has a secret garden of his own on a hidden balcony, and my heart melted at this scene. Probably my favourite part about him is that he's willing to go out of his way to care for the vulnerable. Hell, he even managed to convince Guy to heal his hamster familiar, Mel, when he found her laying in a bush on the brink of death. How he ended up so sweet despite his cold and distant dad, bitchass mom, and bitchass grandpa is a real feat. Also, this expression nearly made me yeet my phone across the room

This is for the people having a hard time believing Guy ang Aquia are brothers

Honourable mentions: everyone in the main and supporting cast except for J*sper.

[the-drayster]

I am here to drop several emojis hehe

🐚 for whichever guy on the blog :) ? (@/arven-x-drayster-4ever)

🐚 for your own guy. because I can do that >:]

🌱 I’ve always thought of Drayton as a “he cares about and loves his friends but sucks at communicating and is also lazy to the point of not being bothered to check in” over a he doesn’t care type of guy yk. at least those are the vibes I’m going for for mine lol

annnd finally ☀️. I always think of your blog as THE Drayton. like whenever I think of rotomblr + Drayton it’s your guy. not even my own one lmao

hope this isn’t too overwhelming <3(/platonic)

// OUGH YIPPEEE. ALSO not overwhelming at all! Thank!!!!

🐚 for whichever guy on the blog :) ? (@/arven-x-drayster-4ever)

I like how silly your Drayton is. He is such a goober, and I think that's amazing. It's so fun to come over and poke at him. He's like one of those dog toys that squeak. Give him a good stomp.

🐚 for your own guy. because I can do that >:]

One thing that I think a lot of people miss when they talk about Drayton is the fact that his motivation for the whole Kieran situation was not selfish. He wasn't doing it for himself. Sure, he got petty about the whole "Ex-champ" thing near the end, but he wasn't trying to knock Kieran off his throne as a revenge sort of thing. The big big big thing for me is when he talks about how Kieran was before the Teal Mask situation.

"Here’s the Drayster take: I liked Kieran better when he had his hair down. He used to be this quiet little guy. Trembled like a leaf. Had all the spine of a Wimpod. He’d hide behind Carmine if you so much as breathed too loud. But I’ll tell you what… When it came to Pokemon battling, I never saw so much joy in anyone’s eyes as in his! But then, outta nowhere, he changed. Now he’s relentless-pushes himself, pushes everyone around him… Nothing good’s gonna come out of this. Someone’s gotta snap him out of it."

^ that's not him saying that he liked Kieran better when Kieran was a wimp. That's him saying he liked it better when Kieran was happy.

He isn't trying to knock Kieran off his throne to get revenge—he's trying to knock some sense into him. Kieran goes on a whole "I have to be the very best that no-one ever was" arc, and Drayton realizes this is unhealthy for him. And another big thing is that Drayton tried to beat Kieran before the player shows up! I wish his quotes page was complete so that I could pull that one out as well, but I remember him talking about how he couldn't beat Kieran to take his spot as Champ back. He realizes that he can't fix the situation himself, and so he goes out of his way to bring the Player in to do it for him. Yeah, he definitely doesn't do it in the best way. He's being pretty manipulative. BUT. He's doing it for a good reason. All he knows is that this exchange student was the one who beat Kieran before, and to his knowledge that's the reason why Kieran got so Weird about battling. He can't beat Kieran to show him that the "Train myself to death" mentality doesn't actually do anything, so he finds someone who can. He doesn't know if the player would actually go along with his plot, and he isn't willing to take the risk that they aren't, so he just goes forward with pulling strings.

But above all, it isn't a selfish thing.

🌱 I’ve always thought of Drayton as a “he cares about and loves his friends but sucks at communicating and is also lazy to the point of not being bothered to check in” over a he doesn’t care type of guy yk. at least those are the vibes I’m going for for mine lol

Yeah, that's pretty close to how mine is. He definitely cares, he just isn't always good at showing it. A combined "He's trying to keep up the care-free persona of his" and just a general lack of "reading the room" ability make it kind of tricky for him to do those sorts of check-ins. He may never go out of his way to ask you how you're doing, but if something is obviously wrong he will absolutely try to fix it.

annnd finally ☀️. I always think of your blog as THE Drayton. like whenever I think of rotomblr + Drayton it’s your guy. not even my own one lmao

Thank you so much for that- I'm really happy I do a good job of him, haha. That means a lot, friendo!!!

[libertys-lovers]

*sharp inhale*

HAPPY BIIIRRRTTTHHHHDDDAAAYYY!!!!

Another year has passed for these six goobers! Another year of being silly, another year of being goofy, and another year of being jobless little NEETS! 🥰 (Even though they’re technically not jobless? They work on their own show, don’t they? Anyways-).

I know I’ve talked about it before, but these 6 have had such a huge influence on my life, it’s almost embarrassing. Their show is easily the most consistent fixation I’ve ever had, and their lives are a nightmare-scenario that I am so damn happy I get to indulge in. In self-ship lore, I’m proud to call them my friends. In real life though, damnit, I’m just glad I heard of them at all. Perhaps I shouldn’t get too personal, but every single brother’s had some sort of influence on me.

…

And, of course, that includes the catalyst brother for all of this.

As you can imagine, Kara is especially important to me. He’s somehow a culmination of what I am and what I want to be. We’re both really dramatic & artistic in a way, and we both act despite how others perceive us; I just really need his confidence! And, of course, he’s important to me purely based off the fact I wanna smooch him silly. But… there’s another part of it too:

Kara, to me, represents two of the most influential aspects of my life; self-shipping and Oso-San. He may not be my first F/O, technically; Ichimatsu was my first official F/O, and Dororo may as well have been an unofficial F/O since I was a kid. But, Kara is the earliest on the list, he somehow came back on the list after being removed during a rough-ass time, and he has caused the most brainrot without a damn doubt. In a way, he kinda summarizes the entire self-ship experience for me. And, ya know, the Oso-San representation is self explanatory. I have other “most influential” franchises, like Homestuck or FNAF, but Oso-San is the most persistent hyperfixation I have. It got me through high-school & through the pandemic, and it’s by far the series I revisit most.

I’ve been thinking about that a lot recently, and I realized that Kara even represents my closest friendships (well, 2 of them anyway!). The two fixations he represents are closely tied to my friends; I wouldn’t be hitched to him if it wasn’t for one friend, and I wouldn’t even know about him if it weren’t for the other. I still remember watching clips of the show with @vhshipping , which actually caused dreams that literally gaslit me into watching the show NWKEKD; we ended up binging a bit of the show together, which I think solidified its place as a fixation in me lol. And I remember @self-shipping-payaso asking about the lil men I was posting about on my story, leading to them helping me realize that they could be F/Os! It’s crazy that a single character can bring back so many wonderful memories with such wonderful people. I hope those two realize how damn important they are to me, outside of their wingmaning as well! They better! I’m sending this to them so they should! You! You two! I fucking love you! 👋🥹

Needless to say, this has greatly increased his value as a character for me.

But… the question might pop up of “why are you talking about all of this in a birthday post?”, and the short answer is that “this is my blog and I’ll do whatever I want!”. But, if it wouldn’t kill me to be serious for five minutes, well, I guess it’s to showcase why I bother to make birthday posts about the bros in the first place. I usually don’t make big deals about fictional character birthdays, but these guys have had such an influence on me that I almost feel obligated to do it for them NAKDMDKFK. Maybe this is all my way of trying to justify why I’m so attached to them, idk.

Truth be told, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to properly explain everything they mean to me, but this was certainly a valiant effort!

So uh… TL:DR… Happy Birthday to the Matsunos~!

[sphylor]

Ramble about a special interest, now, go I wanna hear

🫰🫰🫰

okay okay okay so!! my favourote book series of all time ever literally ever is called the chronicles of st marys by Jodi Taylor. i literally love it so much UGH andni havent read any of the books in a while so my memory is a little rusty but it is definitely a special interest of mine fhshhfj. basically its about this group of historians who "investigate major historical events in contemporary time" (time travel). its actually incredibly respectful in the way it handles it too.(spoilers under the cut)

it mostly focuses on british history for the most part (its a british bookseries) but they do visit troy, the battle of agincourt in france, constantinople (during the sack might i add which. yeah. that was a stressful moment for sure....) etc etc. its so fucking funny like it has me in tears laughing whenever i read it but its literally do devastating at the same time (my favourite book in the series, "and the rest is history", made me cry 8 times in one read through because of how tragic it is...). but its really well written and researched and youd think with like 14 books in the series, multiple short stories and a spin off sister series it would get a bit stale but honestly it doesnt. the characters are so full of life and, well, character.

speaking of the characters. theres Maxwell who is the main character and who we see everything unfold through the eyes of. shes so funny and witty and doesnt know when to stop which can be her downfall sometimes. she acts a lot through anger and does things very impulsively especially in the beginning. it can lead to some very funny moments (like the time she drove her boyfriend's car into the lake when he gave her the cold shoulder and was rude to her (neither of their faults tbh its complicated fhdhhf)) i see a lot of myself in Max. theres a lot of hurt masked by anger inside of her. shes the reason why i chose the name Max fjdhhf

she faces a lot of struggles as well... but its okay because her best friend Tim is there to save the day (and piss on her a couple of times accidentally). He is my favourite character 100% hes funny in a smooth and charming way. literally such a puppy dog i just want to ruffle his hair and give him treats. also have i mentioned that all of these characters that work at st marys are 1000000000000% audhd like these goobers are so neurodivergent i love em all. but yeah Tim is a proper gentleman super sweet and caring and always there for you but also he ends up going through so much shit and it breaks him it fucking destroys him and its so sad to see...

Markham is my next favourite little guy hes such a little guy a little skrunkly wunkly woo a grimey little goober. his characterisation is pretty weak in the first couple of books but he soon becomes really important and fleshed out. hes the court jester the class clown the village idiot. super funny but he also has a tragic past and when he gets serious he gets serious. while Max and Tim were historians, the ones going out of jumps to different time periods to collect data, Markham is security. he makes sure the st marys building is safe and secure and also goes out on jumps with the disaster magnets also known as historians to make sure they dont get into trouble (its actually more like to get them out of trouble at the very last minute when they inevitably do get themselves into trouble tbh djbfhdj) hes indestructible. hes been shot, blown up, fell off of a 3 story tall burning building, frequently has some sort of illness like mange or worms, and the only bit of permenant damage hes recieved is that a chunk of his ear is missing.

then theres Leon... i have a love hate relationship with him. hes Max's love interest. original Leon from the first 3 books is fine i guess...... he does a lot of shitty things but so does Max honestly.... and their relationship gets ruined over one event where really Max was in the wrong but what she did was understandable... still incredibly morally wrong but yeah.... and neither of them stopped loving each other even when they were apart. and then. and then book 3 throws a massive curveball and kills him off. they never made up with each other. and then Max is rescued from being kidnapped by a younger version of Leon from before they met each other and its rough because this Leon is in a very bad spot and not doing well At All. hes almost a completely different person from who Max knew. and she has to convince him that life is worth living. she knows how the rest of his life will go already. she knows he'll meet her and be happy for a while. and she knows that this is the last time she'll ever see him again. and that she cant even say sorry to him now. and that he will never know what this meeting truly meant to her. its fucking heartbreaking and i ugly sobbed every time i read it. and then she dies gets plonked into a different universe (long story) and in this universe shes the one who died and Leon lived. now this Leon i absolutely love to bits hes so sweet and kind and caring. they both know how lucky they are to be given another chance and theyre not going to screw it up and they really do make it work between them.

theres do much more i could ramble about. like Dr Bairstow and Clive Ronan... or Dr Dowson and Professor Rapson and how those two are totally in love... or how Guthrie or the time Max got stuck in the past... but 14 books is a lot to cover fhshhf I'll leave you with the fact that i actually have a signed copy of one of the books which i am super super happy about !!

thank you for giving me the space to ramble <3<3<3

[tasklinemgr]

✨ 🌺 🍀 🌂 for any of your ttcc guys

I'll answer these for Kit McCrane because I think they would be the most interesting with these particular questions

✨ - Honestly, I came up with Kit kinda on the spot because I liked how it sounded. And then I made up the surname McCrane because he's a construction worker and it sounded nice with Kit.

🌺 - Kit is dating my OC Terracotta, who is the father of my OCs Basil and Cilantro. Kit doesn't see any issue with herself, a cog, with a toon for a partner, because he feels he has more in common with toons than he does with the cogs at the top of the capitalist hierarchy. The two have only been dating for about three years, and Kit hasn't even met the kids yet. She hopes they'll like him. (Spoiler, they won't </3)

🍀 - Honestly, I'd started to conceptualize Kit a while after I'd already decided on Terracotta having a cog partner, which makes me feel a little bad because it reads like Kit was written to be a love interest and a love interest alone. (She has plenty of connections and relations separate from him, though.) They were written with a lot of traits that mirror Terracotta's.

🌂 - Cartridge, the city I made up in which Kit and Terracotta live (and Basil and Cilantro grew up in), is a bit of a gritty setting, especially compared to Toontown, so I could easily see Kit being the protagonist of some sort of dystopia.

And, just for fun, I'm gonna put the Kit lore I have written down under a cut in case anyone wants additional context for this or wants to learn more about my beloved goober. (Since I don't post much OC lore to tumblr)

This gentle construction worker is known by his peers as someone that gets easily distracted. They're a worrier, who can come up with about a million different ways any given situation can go wrong. She tries not to let this keep her from getting out and doing things, and actually has quite the adventurous side.

If Kit told you they have a criminal record, you'd probably think she was telling a weird unfunny joke. No, he hasn't been to jail or anything, but he's been slapped with fine after fine for the repeated offense of climbing skyscrapers in Cartridge. One might wonder why someone so anxious would do something so dangerous, but for Kit, it's the perfect outlet to calm their nerves. Her loved ones really want them to stop though, especially after seeing what happened when they fell down that one time. (If it weren't for a generous favor from a friend, she'd still be paying off that repair bill.) Honestly, Kit doesn't understand why everyone worries about him so much; he does more than enough of that already.

If he had a "dream job", it would be a costume designer; they're quite passionate about theater. But they're satisfied where they are, content to help her partner Terracotta make clothing as a mere hobby. (Their coat is actually a gift from him!) Kit loves asking his partner to sing for them; his voice is just so beautiful. They're also looking forward to being able to finally meet Terracotta's kids. She doesn't find it strange at all that they chose to date a Toon, after all, she has more in common with them than she does any of the wealthy Cogs of Cartridge. Strangely enough, one rich person, the mayor of Cartridge herself, has taken a liking to Kit; she even bought him and Terracotta live tickets to its favorite game show.

Sometimes, when Kit goes in for maintenance, people notice a strange file on their hard drive. Nobody's been able to decrypt it though, and Kit spends a lot of time worrying about what it is and why it's there.

[howshemovesnj]

The “Short Men and Dating” Controversy

A man’s height is controversial in dating and there are MANY angry discussions about it online, so since I’m 5”7, let’s dig in! I have never been called short by a woman but of course, this is the type of thing that would never be said in polite conversation. I know I’m perceived as short, because in fifth grade, I was called “Short Dweeb” by another kid I was arguing with. In my late twenties, I got into an argument online with a guy I knew in person. He referred to my “little hobbit ass.” Why use that as an insult? He had never seen my hairy bare feet, so the only reason he’d compare me to a hobbit would be because I’m short, right? I have no concrete evidence if my height has been a factor in my luck with dating, so let’s explore the dating histories of four short guys I know of.

              Guy A was a close college friend. He was even shorter than me and had a nasal voice plus kind of an obnoxious, pushy personality. He had bad luck with girls his freshman year. He even pissed a girl off because he “stalked” her at a school carnival (her words were relayed back to him through a mutual friend of ours). His sophomore year, he got a hot blonde girlfriend taller than him. He told us she said he was handsome. I was sitting with my other group of friends at dinner once, and the two of them walked in. My tall bodybuilder friend remarked, “How’d he pull that off?” I said, “She says he’s handsome.” He replied, “I’m insulted!” People are aware of leagues in dating, and my muscular friend was obviously surprised, even annoyed that my other short friend could get a hot blonde. So, Guy A and this girl went out for three years, but it didn’t work out. He and I kept hanging out after that, and he went back to struggling with women, complaining about the “friend-zone” and how they want “bad boys” while he deserves love just because he has a good job, apartment, etc. He’s now 40 at the time of this article and I don’t believe he’s had a girlfriend since. He has had many female friends. However, he did date that babe for a while. He’s what I call a “one-hit wonder.”

              Guy B is only a bit taller than me and is also a one-hit wonder. He had a cute girlfriend over a decade ago but has been single since. He’s nice, good, and has a lot of close, loyal friends, but I think he’s just not perceived as sexy. I’ve mentioned before how I can tell when a man is attractive. He is by no means ugly, but he has this sort of goofy face that almost makes him look like a cartoon character: cute but not hot, if that makes sense. I know of another middle-aged guy like this who has this same goober face, and I don’t believe he has had a girlfriend recently. He also has a history of posting footage from strip clubs and raunchy television shows on social media, so make of that what you will. I think he’s very horny, and I can certainly relate! Talking about someone’s face may make me sound very shallow and judgmental but let me tell you why I bring it up: I THINK I MYSELF HAVE THIS KIND OF GOOBER FACE. I mentioned before that I’m no Channing Tatum, but I think I might also have a “cute but not sexy” face. Because people are polite, I can only speculate that this combined with my height puts me in that harmless unsexy friend category with women.

              Guy C is also short with a goofy face but is married… to a heavy woman. I know, whoa, body shaming! However, I must point out her weight to do a true deep dive into this issue. This fact is relevant because many short men and “incels” complain that they can only get fat women, and not the “hot” women they want. As for Guy C and the missus, looks are not everything. There is no doubt in my mind that they could have something deep and meaningful beyond physical appearances. But for the sake of what I’m discussing, it is worth mentioning that neither one of them is pulling a supermodel anytime soon. Could they be wonderful human beings who are perfect for each other? Absolutely! There are many successful relationships and marriages between two average or below-average-looking people. Long-term commitments are based on interpersonal and emotional factors that go way deeper than physical sex appeal. But if you only want a fit woman and you’re not a tall stud, your mileage is going to vary. There is also nothing wrong with that. I am fit and although I’m not tall, I do not settle for anyone who isn’t fit herself.

              Lastly, Guy D was kind of short, but he was very good-looking. He didn’t have a goofy face. He might have even been considered for a modeling contract, and guess what? He was a CrossFitter who was dating an attractive girl with a fit body who worked out at the same box! Here’s a crazy fact. One day, our box did this competition in the Poconos. We all went to dinner afterwards and I could hear a conversation Guy D was part of. He sheepishly mentioned that amongst his group of male friends, he was the “only one who could get laid.” There you have it! Everything about your physical appearance is a factor. If only I was as good-looking as Guy D.

              Why explore this issue? With all the grievances that have been made online ten times over about short men not getting women, I have never seen a real nuanced discussion of personal experiences and comparisons amongst a variety of short men. I’ve seen guys state they can’t get dates because they’re short, I’ve seen responses to them telling them to change their attitude and just “be confident,” and I’ve seen people give the example of that one short dude they know who has everything else going for him and never has a problem with the ladies. Tom Cruise is somewhere in that equation. I just decided to unpack this myself and share it with the world. Cheers!

[sketchybeats]

Rating BHC characters by how likely we are to be friends

-------------------------------------------

Sans

7/10

We'd definitely get along and be bros but I dunno I kinda feel like we'd be a little awkward as well? Really love this guy though and we both love the stars so ummm star gazing picnics maybe? 🥺

Papyrus

7/10

I ADORE Papyrus and his energy is IMMACULATE but we don't really have a lot of similar interests. I think we'd still get along super well though! I'd love to cook with him 👉👈

Blue

8/10

BLUUEEE MY LOVEE he's so wholesome and I feel like we give off super similar vibes but we also don't really have a whole lot in common except our intense love of mothman. We would definitely be cryptid hunting buddies 🔦👻

Stretch

10/10

AAA STRETCH PLEASE GOD BE FRIENDS WITH ME We are practically the same person like it's kind of uncanny. We have the same sense if humor, same interests, same energy level, we even both drink honey (I have literally done that since I was like 6) so yeah we'd be besties 👫

Red

6/10

Do not get me wrong I LOVE Red he's frickin AWESOME. But I just think we'd have a lot of trouble communicating? Also I get my feelings hurt SUPER easily so I have a feeling we wouldn't be the best match. Would watch him play video games on the couch though ☺

Boss

9/10

OMFG MARRY ME

In all seriousness though this guy just. AAAAAAA. I LOVE HIM. He gives me intense gender envy I WANNA LOOK LIKE YOU. I just know we'd get along. I don't even know why. We just would. Minus a point cause he'd probably say mean things to me but he'd also watch Disney movies and sing villain songs with me so I'm willing to overlook it 🥰

Nox

4/10

Y'all finna hate me but LET ME EXPLAIN.

We have absolutely NOTHING in common. At all. I really can't see us having anything besides kind of an acquaintance sort of relationship. Don't get me wrong Nox is nice and all and I don't dislike him in the slightest, we just wouldn't really click.

Rus

10/10

Ah yes another skeleton that is way too much like me. We'd probably have a bit of trouble warming up to each other because ya know, we both have intense social anxiety and are very NOT Neurotypical, but I know DAMN well we'd be INSEPARABLE after we got to know each other. We're both HUGE 80s song dweebs and I can just imagine the karaoke nights now. Also he'd definitely cuddle with me and we'd help each other with our anxiety so yeah (also I feel like he stims when he gets excited so we'd probably stim out together)🥺🥺🥺

Ash

9/10

ASHHHHHHH. I adore Ash so much. We both just want silence, grass, dirt, bad jokes, and Bumble Bees. I'd love to just sit in his garden with him and watch the clouds roll by as we talk about our favorite bugs (would highkey move into a woodland cottage with him) 🐝🌺🌻🌹🌷

Poplar

7/10

I love Poplar he's such a goober! We wouldn't be like BEST friends or anything but we'd definitely be good pals! I love listening to people talk so I'd be a pretty good match with him I think! Also apparently he's artsy and I'd love to paint with him! 🎨🖌️💕

Go follow @bonelyheartsclub and @owl-bones please and thank you<3

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Forty-Two

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Fluff and Smut. 

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

Harry wakes up feeling your butt shift against his pelvis. He opens is eyes slowly and sees you scrolling on your phone. You were reading something, but he couldn’t make out what. His head didn’t feel too bad, but he knew he drank too much. He felt so happy he had you to take care of him. He was also happy that your drama with Sarah had come to a close.

The arm that’s draped over you moves up from your stomach and to your breast. He presses his morning wood against you. He kisses on your neck and you wince.

“What’s wrong?”

“Spot’s a little tender.”

“M’sorry, did I hurt ya last night?”

“Didn’t hurt while you were doing it.” You turn onto your back so you can look at him. He gets a better look at it.

“Yikes, I’m sorry. I’ll, uh, cool it there for a bit.” He rests his head on your chest. He lightly plays with one of your piercings. “You have such a beautiful body, you know that?” You giggle and run your hand through his hair.

“Thanks babe.”

“You took care of me last night?”

“Mhm.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have drank that much.”

“It’s okay, you weren’t that difficult to take care of.”

“Are you sure?” He props himself to look at you. “Sometimes I can be a real goober.”

“Oh god.” You groan while he laughs.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t get over it. What a weird name for candy!”

“But they were good right?”

“Yeah I actually really liked ‘em.” He kisses your cheek. “Is there anythin’ we need to do today?”

“Grocery shop, laundry, other chores.” He groans.

“I hate cleanin’.”

“Well…you don’t really clean.” You stroke his cheek gently.

“Wha’? I clean.”

“And then I re-clean.” You smile. “I really don’t mind. I kinda like doing it myself. If you want maybe you could meal prep the lunches.”

“Deal. And I can do all the laundry.”

“Oh, I like the sound of that.” He moves to hover over you, and he kisses on the less tender side of your neck. Your phone starts to go off. It’s Niall.

“He can wait.”

“It could be important, Harry.” You swipe to answer the call. “Hey baby what’s shakin’?” Harry glares at you. He can hear Niall chuckling.

“He still in bed with ya?”

“Mhm.”

“You’re funny.”

“I’m aware. What’s up?”

“Do ya have plans later today?”

“Well it depends on when I finish all my chores and stuff, why?”

“Wanna come over for dinner?”

“Just moi?”

“Just toi! Sarah’s totally cool now.”

“Oh that’s great. Did you two have a good night?”

“Very good.”

“Yay! Okay sure I’d love to come for, shit, dinner.” Harry’s hand moved between your legs and started rubbing on your clit.

“You okay?”

“Mhm, I’ll text you later okay?”

“Alright, BYE WIFEY!”

“Bye hubby!” You hang up the phone and put it on the nightstand. “Very funny doing that while I’m on the phone.”

He moves your legs to wrap them around his waist.

“You know I don’t really like the husband/wife shit.”

“It’s just a joke, chill.” He nods.

“Hm, chill?”

“Yeah, chiiillllll.” He plunges two of his fingers into you. He smirks at your reaction. You tighten around him and moan out. You loved having sex in the morning, you were always way more stimulated. “Fuck.”

“So he invited you over tonight?”

“Harry please.”

“It’s a simple question.”

“I, fuck, don’t wanna think about him right now.”

“Good answer.”

He pumps in and out of you faster. You move your hips along with his fingers.

“Harry, please use your cock.” He pulls his fingers out of you completely.

“Nah, we gotta go grocery shoppin’.”

“What…what do you mean nah?”

“We have shit to do today, love.” He gets off of you and goes into the bathroom, leaving you there stunned. What in the actual fuck? Was he seriously edging you? He comes back out and smirks at you. “C’mon, time to start the day.” He starts getting dressed. You get out of bed, glaring at him.

You were completely frazzled. Not only did he deprive you of his dick, but he deprived you of an orgasm. Rude. You get dressed, and go through the shopping list on your phone. Harry throws a load into the wash before you leave. The car ride is quiet at first.

“Harry…you’re not mad that I’m hanging out with Niall tonight, are you? Would you have preferred I asked before agreeing?” You’re asking in a genuine tone. You didn’t want his feelings hurt.

“Not at all.” He places his hand on your thigh. “Want ya t’hang out with your friends. Why would you think I’m mad?”

“I don’t know…this morning…” You pinch your legs together.

“Left ya hangin’ did I?”

“Little bit.” He nods but doesn’t say anything else.

You get through your shopping. You clean up the kitchen while Harry flips the load of laundry. You turn some music on, and start mopping. Harry watches while you dance around with the mop. Next you dust and vacuum while he starts prepping your lunches for the week. It was a pretty good system. You really didn’t mind cleaning. You knew he wasn’t going to deep clean certain things. Plus, you loved when he cooked so you knew you’d enjoy your lunches even more this week.

“All done babe.” He says throwing the sponge back in the sink. You hug him and kiss him on the cheek.

“Thank you so much! I can’t wait to eat your delicious creation this week.” He wraps his arms around you.

“My pleasure. Thanks for cleanin’ everything else up.” He squishes his nose to yours and you giggle.

You tilt your head up to kiss him. You were still feeling sort of deprived from earlier, so you deepen the kiss. His hands slide down to your butt and kneads your cheeks. His eyes glance over to the clock. You feel him smirk against you.

“What?”

“Nothin’, you should get goin’, wouldn’t wanna keep hubby waitin’.”

“You are mad at me…”

“I promise I’m not. Go on, have fun.” He kisses you on the cheek.

“I don’t have to go right this second, we could-“

“Nah.” He shrugs and goes over to his desk. “I have some stuff I need to get done, love.” You sigh and grab your things.

“Alright, I’ll be back in a little while.”

//

You drive to Niall’s slightly annoyed. You knew exactly what Harry was doing to you. He wanted you to want it so bad it would be all you thought about while you were with Niall. Maybe you wouldn’t want to stay as long, or maybe he just wanted you to think of him the entire time. You ring Niall’s buzzer and he lets you up.

“Hey!” You both say at the same time and hug. You come in and hang your jacket up. “I ordered a pizza, know you don’t get to have real cheese too often.”

“God that sounds amazing.” You both get settled on the couch.

“Thought I would put that Wet Hot American Summer series on in the background while we chat. Haven’t watched that in a while, but it’s not somethin’ we need to pay attention to.”

“Good thinking.” He turns on Netflix and puts the show on.

“Okay, I want every single dirty detail, and I want it now. How was the first time?” You take a bite of the pizza.

“Where should I begin…”

You tell Niall everything, even down to Harry accidentally coming on your face. You both laugh hysterically about it. You tell him about the couple of times after that, and you laugh even harder when you talk about Niall walking in on you.

“That was so awkward.” You say.

“I felt terrible about it. Literally was the last thing I was expectin’.”

“So everything really is cool with you and Sarah now?”

“Yeah, we talked through a lot. She felt really bad for trying to ruin our friendship. She explained she just needed more reassurance, which I’m happy to give her.”

“Little Niall, in love.” You jostle the hair on his head.

“It’s a great feelin’ for sure.”

“And she was fine with giving up a date night to let you hang with me tonight?”

“Yeah, she said her and Rachel were going to hang out.”

“Oh good.”

“And Harry was okay with it?”

“Mhm. We got all of our Sunday chores out of the way today, so tomorrow we can do whatever.”

“So what’s he up to then?”

“Working, I think.”

“Do ya want anythin’ t’drink? I have tequila.”

“Yes please! Do you have anything to mix with it?”

“Orange juice work?”

“You bet!” He comes back with the drink. “Thanks.”

“Alright, so, I know we’ve both been busy so I’m assumin’ you haven’t watched the second season of You yet?”

“Nope.” You grin.

“Shall we take the opportunity to binge?”

“I don’t think we have a choice.” Niall pulls up the show, and you both get comfortable.

“The first season was so good, I hope this is a good follow up.”

“I’ve heard excellent reviews.”

//

Harry didn’t realize how much time had passed. He had ripped through a ton of his freelance work and had actually gotten caught up. When he looked at his watch and saw that it was nearly 9:30, he got a little worried. You said you were just going over for dinner. He didn’t think this would be a late night thing. It was Saturday night after all. He wanted to call to see when you’d be home, but he didn’t want to seem controlling.

//

You were on your third drink, and third episode. You knew it was getting late, but this is what you and Niall used to do all the time. You would binge entire seasons of shows together. You were also just enjoying the quality time. You guys had a lot of time together at work, but it was nice to not talk about work.

“I love the way this show is narrated.” He says.

“Me too! It really feels like someone’s inner thoughts. I also just like the way his voice sounds. The cadence is interesting.”

“Agreed.” You finish your drink. “Hey, could I have some water, I should probably start to sober up.”

“Sure!” Niall gets up and fills a glass for you. “Here ya are.”

“Thanks.”

“You know I can just drive you home?”

“I know, but then I’d have to come to get my car tomorrow and it’ll be a whole thing.”

“You could call Harry. Bet he would just uber over here, then he could drive your car back.”

“No, I don’t wanna bother him.” You sigh. “I don’t think he likes that we’re married.” He starts laughing.

“Harry? I never would’ve guessed.” He says facetiously. “Jesus, he’s not gonna start gettin’ all jealous now is he? We just got over all this drama.”

“I don’t know, he was acting weird earlier. I don’t think it’s jealousy, I think…I think it’s a territory thing.”

“Ohhh, yup, I could definitely see that. Something I’ve learned about him over the years is that once something is his, he doesn’t really like having to share it, even if that thing has someone else in their life.”

“So…he’s done this with other girlfriends?”

“No.” You raise an eyebrow at him. “M’talkin’ about Louis.”

“Oh! Like when him and El first got together?”

“Even when him and his ex were together. Harry got very territorial with him. But Lou was also territorial with Harry.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know really.” He shrugs. “They had this like big brother/little brother thing. They were just protective of each other. I also think, at the time, Harry couldn’t wrap his head around Louis only wanting to be with one girl since he was happy just hookin’ up.”

“You don’t think he’d try to tell us we couldn’t hang out, do you?”

“Nah. But I could see him making sure it’s known that you’re no one’s but his.”

“He knows that.”

“Yeah, but he wants to make sure everyone else knows that…I’ve told ya before, he’s sorta needy. Little bit clingy.”

“So I’ve noticed.” You smile.

“You don’t mind?”

“Honestly? No. I kind of like it. I’ve never been with someone who just likes everything about me the way he does. I think…he really sees a future with me.”

“And movin’ in together didn’t make ya realize that sooner?” He smirks and swat your hand at him.

“He’s just been dropping small comments lately. Like, for example, he mentioned how our potential new place had room to grow.”

“For like a dog?”

“That’s what he said when I asked him to clarify, but I think he meant for like a baby.”

“He loves babies.” He chuckles.

“I know! And then last night when he was drunk, I made a joke about something for the rest of my life or whatever, and he was like I hope so.” You sip on your water. “Like…does boy wanna marry me?” You giggle.

“Y/N, you really read too far into things. I don’t think he’s been thinkin’ about it yet…even if he has, so what? A lot of people get engaged after being with each other for a year, sometimes less. Oh! Like in I love you man, Peter and Zooey get engaged after only eight months and they’ve been livin’ together.”

“Oh my god, how cute of you to compare us to one of the best film couples of all time.” You put your hands over your heart. “We need to watch that movie again, I love it so much.”

“Maybe that could be our next double date! We could invite Rachel and Lora too.”

“If Harry and I get the apartment we could have a small house warming and watch it!”

“Why are we literally the two most brilliant people in the world?”

“This is why we’re mom and dad of the division, I swear to god.” You both laugh.

Around eleven you decide to call it a night. You were itching to get home to Harry. You were surprised he hadn’t texted you, but to be fair you hadn’t texted him. You help Niall clean everything up.

“Text me when ya get home.” He hugs you.

“Will do.” You hug him back. “Thanks for a fun night, love ya!”

“Love ya back!”

//

You key into your apartment. Harry was wrapped in a blanket on the sofa watching TV. You smile when you see him.

“Hi baby.” You say.

“Hi there.” You walk over and sit down next to him, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Have fun?”

“Mhm.”

“Didn’t think you’d be gone for so long.”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve texted you to check in. Time just got away from us.”

“What did you guys do?”

“Caught up on life. Then we binged the first few episodes of You season two. It’s really good so far. I can’t wait to keep watching. We’ll have to use our lunch breaks to keep watching together.”

“That’s all you guys did, sit and watch TV?”

“Mhm, we love watching TV together. We like to make insightful comments with each other.” He can smell the tequila on you.

“Did you drink?”

“A little, but don’t worry I sobered up. That’s why I’m home so late, I didn’t wanna be buzzed.”

“You could’ve called me.”

“I didn’t wanna bother you babe. What did you do tonight?”

“Got caught up on all my freelance shit.”

“That’s great!” You smile at him. “I appreciate you being so cool about me hanging out with him tonight. He really is one of my best friends, and I’ve missed spending alone time with him.”

“I get it, making time for friends is important. Just maybe next time could you let me know when you’re going to be home? I didn’t know if I should wait up or not, and then I got kinda worried.” He rubs the back of his neck. “But I also didn’t wanna call because I didn’t want you to think I was up your ass.”

“I’m sorry baby, I feel bad you were worried. I’ll definitely check in with you next time.” You yawn. “Are you ready for bed? I’m tired.”

“Sure. Did you, um, think of me at all tonight?”

“Course I did.” You kiss him, and get up. He follows you into the bedroom.

You go into the bathroom and do your nightly routine. When you come out Harry’s in the bed with his glasses on, an arm behind his head, and the other hand has his book in his hand. You notice it’s a new book. You get into bed.

“What’s this one about?” You tap the outside of the book.

“Oh, this is a good one. This is a friend’s to lovers story. I think I’ve read it like four times already. It’s one of my favorites.”

“Would you read it to me since you’re just starting it?”

“You’re going to fall asleep though, I’d want ya to be fully invested.”

“I’ll tell you what, I will sit up while you read, and if I feel really tired, I’ll let you know. I love when you read to me, please?” He chuckles

“Alright.” You shift to sit up against the headboard. “Ready?”

“Proceed.” He clears his throat.

“’They had been friends for as long as he could remember. They had been through everything together, he was even in her wedding party. Eric was the best friend Jane could have ever had. When her husband left her, he was right there for her. Being a single mom to a two year old was not easy. Eric often helped Jane out on the weekends. He would babysit so she could have some time to herself. He loved that child like it was his own.’”

You were hooked immediately. You loved the way the words fell from Harry’s lips. You couldn’t wait to learn more about Eric and Jane. When you hear Harry yawn you look over at him.

“Think that’s enough for tonight.” He dog ear’s the page he’s on, and puts the book on the night stand. He takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes. “What do you think so far?”

“I am invested.” You giggle. “Do you always reread books like that?”

“Sometimes. I get into these funks where I just miss the characters.”

“God, Harry, you are so sweet.” He turns off the light, and you lay on his chest. “Seriously, you are the cutest thing in the world.” You look up at him. “You’re so sensitive, it’s so sexy.” He feels his cock twitch.

“Really?”

“Mhm.” He rubs your back lightly. You move to straddle him, surprising him a little. “I mean, there’s a lot of sexy things about you.”

“Like what?” He plays innocent.

“Well, for starters, these lips.” You brush your thumb over his bottom lip. “So sexy.” He kisses your thumb. You move your other hand to stroke through his hair. “And your beautiful, soft hair? Incredibly sexy.” You make a fist and tug at it. The hand near his mouth slides down to his throat. You run your thumb over his Adam’s apple. “God, and that deep voice of yours? When you whisper in my ear…I mean, fuck, that’s sexy.”

He leans up and kisses you. There was nothing more he enjoyed than when you loved on him like this. He missed you all night, and you were totally making up for it. His hands move to cup your cheeks as the kiss deepens. Your hands flatten on his chest. Your tongues drag against each other and you moan against him. Your hips roll down on him, and his lift up to yours. You reach between the two of you, and grip his hard cock. You lift slightly, and guide him in. You both moan out at the contact. You slowly grind down on him. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, and hide your face in his neck.

Harry’s hands move down to your hips, and grips you tightly. He helps you move up and down on him as he thrust ups into you. You could feel your forehead sweating against his neck. You were letting out small moans. He was getting in so deep from the way you were sitting on him. You kiss on his collarbone, and suck his skin into your mouth. He gasps at the sensation. He moves you faster on him. Your hands move to his hair. You were feeling so good.

“Harry.” You moan into his ear.

“Talk to me, angel.” One of his hands moves to your clit, and he rubs slow, sensual circles on it.

“You feel so good inside me.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. Do you like how tight I am around you?”

“God, yes.” His head nearly rolls back as you continue to move together.

“You like fucking me like this?”

“Yes.” He says through gritted teeth.

“You make me feel so hot, Harry. I’m so fucking wet.” You tighten around him.

“Oh, fuck.” One of his hands moves to your back to press you as close as he possibly can.

“I love you so much, Harry. You’re the only person I ever want to fuck me.”

“Shit, shit, Y/N.” Harry shoots his come up inside you. Between the warmth from that and the way he’s rubbing on your clit, you release as well. “I…love…you too.” He breaths heavily. He presses his head into your shoulder.

You move your hands to tilt his head up. You make sinful eye contact and kiss passionately. He shifts the two of you so you’re lying on your back. You feel him getting hard again inside you. You wrap your legs around his waist, and rest your heels against his butt.

“You’re the only person I ever want to fuck.” He says into your ear. He takes both of your hands in his and lifts them above your head as he moves in and out of you. “You feel so good around me.”

This was some of the best sex you two had ever had. It was so passionate. You could feel the sweat pooling between both of your stomachs and it didn’t bother you at all.

“Keep talking, baby.” You moan.

“I’m going to fuck you into this mattress.” Jesus. “I’m going to have you screaming.” Oh god. “I’m going to have you begging me to never stop.” Mother of fuck.

Harry delivered on everything he said to you. You had sex four times. FOUR TIMES! You lost track of how many orgasms you had. He had you all over the bed. Eventually you just felt too raw to keep going. You both fell asleep with big smiles on your faces.

//

The next day it hurt to walk. You felt like if you even sneezed your vagina was going to fall out. It honestly felt like after the first time you ever had sex years ago. It also hurt extremely bad to pee. You wondered if your body would ever get used to the way Harry stretched you out.

He was walking on sunshine when he got up. He was enjoying your state of being way too much. He didn’t want you to be in pain of course, but he was very proud of his work. You were completely and utterly fucked for him, and knew it. 

[thankskenpenders]

So, about the movie...

At long last, a week after it came out, I was finally able to see the Sonic movie. The Daytona 500 being held across the street from my favorite theater and conflicting work schedules had been keeping me away, but now I’ve finally seen it. And it was...

Decent!

Which is way, way, way, way, way better than a movie with this awful premise has any right being. That’s for damn sure. I enjoyed my time at the theater. I don’t know how they did it, but they did it. If you like Sonic and haven’t already seen it, you will probably get a kick out of this film. If you don’t like Sonic (or Jim Carrey), there is very little in this movie for you

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, it’s time to break that whole movie down. This will contain full spoilers for the Sonic movie

This movie kinda gave me deja vu because it’s set up so similarly to the Bumblebee movie. Both open with a slavishly faithful CGI sequence on another planet to ensure long time fans that the creative team gives a shit, but a conflict sends the title character to Earth. There, they form an emotional bond with the human lead as they’re pursued by the bad guys, who are working with the US government and tracking the energy signature of the title character. This setup worked extremely well for Bumblebee, because it’s so similar to the usual plot of Transformers. For Sonic, it was... a mixed bag. But it worked better than I expected

(This shot does not happen in the movie.)

That opening though, huh? Green Hill Zone looked great, and I was pleasantly surprised to see they did, in fact, use the Hyper Potions track from Sonic Mania in the actual film. (The piano rendition of the Green Hill theme used later was also lovely.) Longclaw was also interesting. I’ve seen one person bring up all the bird-themed ruins in Sonic 1 and 2 as a possible source of inspiration for the character, and I think that’s a valid take. And man, the echidnas! I wasn’t expecting that AT ALL. I guess that was probably the Knuckles Clan or something? I would never, ever picture them being alive during Sonic’s lifetime, but like... I guess Knuckles had to come from somewhere, right? If they do another movie with Knuckles, will the rest of his kind have died out?

Sadly, though, this sequence felt like it was over in a heartbeat. We barely see Sonic’s life on his home planet, and we’re expected to feel emotional over Longclaw’s sacrifice when she only gets like three lines before Sonic is sent to Earth. This is a common theme with the film--it goes for these big emotional beats that it just does not earn with its rapid fire pacing

Anyway, then we fast forward and Sonic’s a teen. This is actually kind of an interesting one if you’re constantly neck deep in Sonic Character Analysis like me, because it’s a pretty different take on the character. It’s hard to give them credit for doing something somewhat fresh with the character, though, because like... how much of that was intentional, and how much was just Hollywood writers trying to squeeze a generic action-adventure movie out of Sonic? (Honestly, it’s probably mostly the latter.)

The closest other piece of Sonic media to the movie would probably be Sonic X, a story in which Sonic isn’t really the protagonist. The Sonic of the anime is fairly emotionally distant. He cares deeply about his friends, and does nice things for them, but he’s totally fine with running off on his own for extended lengths of time, and he doesn’t really talk about his feelings. He’s not the character the audience is meant to sympathize with, but is instead this cool older kid who Chris wants to impress. This is pretty much in line with how Sega likes to depict the character. He cares about his friends, but he’s also cool with being a loner. It feels like he only runs into them incidentally, usually when Eggman is causing trouble, and then when the crisis of the week is taken care of he’s back to going on his own adventures. There’s a reason why one of his catchphrases is “long time no see”

The Sonic of the movie is the polar opposite. His main conflict is that he’s lonely and desperately seeks friendship. He’s also an overly-eager, extremely earnest goober. He literally flosses twice. (Which I loved.) I’ve seen him compared to Silver, and honestly, that’s not a bad comparison. I did like it, though! I don’t mind Sonic being a more emotionally open character, like he was in a lot of older Western media. I mean, he cried in like the second or third episode of SatAM

It’s just that, like many things in the movie, it feels less like a deliberate creative choice and more like a logical string of decisions to make when writing a generic action-adventure film for general audiences. Sonic’s the only one of his kind on Earth, so of course he’d be lonely. He has to have some sort of arc for audiences to connect with him, and if he’s gotta be accompanied by James Marsden for the whole movie, well, his arc’s gotta be about them becoming friends

I’ve gotta say, though: Ben Schwartz is great as Sonic. As much as I like Roger Craig Smith, I wouldn’t complain if he became the new main voice of the character. And thanks to the redesign, he looked great. I can’t imagine how nightmarish this movie would’ve been if Sonic wasn’t cute

My main fear with this movie, though, was that Sonic wouldn’t really be the protagonist. As a fan of Transformers, I know all too well that the cost of doing a full CGI character usually means that said character can’t really be the star of the film. Optimus and Bumblebee aren’t the stars of the Transformers movies--they’re supporting characters who are primarily present for the sake of the action scenes. The humans are the real stars in those movies, and the robots are barely even characters. I was terrified that Sonic would be the same, with the actual character I paid to see taking a backseat to James Marsden The Cop

I’m not quite sure if they struck the right balance there, but they did better than I worried they would. Sonic is central enough to the film and gets enough screentime that you can easily say he’s the protagonist. BUT there is absolutely too much of Tom and his family. The human cast is fine, the performances are fine, and there were a few good jokes, but every time the movie tried to get me to care about Tom’s life I was bored out of my mind. It’s just so trite and passionless. The other characters barely felt fleshed out at all, including Tom’s girlfriend (wife?) and Agent Stone. The little girl who gives Sonic the shoes had some cute moments, though

I do, however, love the part in which James Marsden is walking around in a San Francisco t-shirt, to remind us that he’s planning on moving to San Francisco... which then becomes the excuse for Sonic to think about San Francisco and accidentally send his warp rings there, which becomes the excuse for the buddy road trip aspect of the film. And as much as that was a focus of the marketing, the actual road trip part is like... maybe 20 minutes of the movie? There’s like three scenes with Sonic and Tom on the road and then they’re in San Francisco for act 3. The movie tries to act like they’ve formed this deep bond and I just did not give a shit. I don’t care about the cop. All Cops Are Bastards, and that absolutely includes Tom, whose dream in life is to join the extremely corrupt San Francisco PD

The whole excuse for Sonic having to sit in the passenger seat of a car going the speed limit for a good chunk of the movie is also, just. Stupid. If he doesn’t know where San Francisco is and time is of the essence, just... give him a map?

And then there’s Jim Carrey. I was worried about this one. The previews tended to highlight his most Jim Carrey Being Wacky moments, and as fond as I am of movies like The Truman Show and Bruce Almighty, that’s just. That’s not Robotnik. I was pleasantly surprised by the actual movie, though! I thought he was pretty good. I’m not sure what incarnation of Eggman I’d most compare him to, but like... it was close enough, and he was entertaining enough. I’d pay to go see another movie with him as Robotnik. Sure. (Especially with how he was looking at the end of the film.)

There were some other little interesting tidbits here with Eggman, although again, a lot of that is less “let’s do a new take on Eggman” and more “let’s do a marketable movie with Eggman in it, which requires us to explain some stuff.” Like him straight up just being a normal human from Earth, with none of the confusion present in the current “two worlds” canon of the games. Or him apparently being an orphan who was bullied in school, and who trusts machines more than other humans. It’s a safe way to depict the character in a Hollywood movie, but I thought it worked

The way they got to his nickname was kind of funny, though. Like, obviously they didn’t put Jim Carrey in a fat suit, and thank god for that. So instead of mocking his weight, the nickname is derived from the egg-shaped robots he uses. Which made sense, I guess. It at least felt logical for this incarnation of Sonic, who had annoyingly been calling Tom “Donut Lord” the whole movie, to make up the nickname “Eggman.” (Said robots, by the way, were a weak point of the movie to me. They just didn’t have that Eggman whimsy and felt very safe and very Hollywood. Honestly, though, if they had just made Robotnik’s ship grey and slapped some hazard stripes on it, it’d probably be fine.)

As a whole, I thought the humor of the movie was... okay. Sonic had a lot of good moments thanks to Schwartz’s great performance, as did Robotnik. There were just so many weird lines, like James Marsden telling Robotnik that he was breast fed, or the agonizingly long child trafficking joke with Sonic in the duffel bag. Stuff like that

The action was great, though. They definitely owe a lot to the Quicksilver scene in that one X-men movie (I forget the one), but they had a lot of fun with Sonic’s powers and it felt extremely true to the character. Seeing him do one of his Smash poses during the San Francisco fight was great. The action scenes were an absolute delight

And then the ending. Oh, that ending

So, I had already heard that Tails shows up in the stinger before I saw the film. And when I heard that, I expected it to be like, the classic Tails origin story. Maybe Sonic would return to his planet, and run into this precocious kid who decides to follow him around... but no! Not at all! Tails is already the Tails we know and love. He’s already an inventor, he’s already tracking down Sonic. I’m shocked that Sonic actually stayed with Tom instead of running off to have new adventures, but hopefully this is a sign that more characters will be brought into the fray if they make a sequel

And boy, they better make that damn sequel. This movie had a great opening weekend and a positive reception. They have no excuse not to. GIVE US SONIC AND TAILS GOING ON AN ADVENTURE

Other stray thoughts

Holy shit they put Sanic in the movie

The Sega logo animation meant that Kiryu from Yakuza was in this movie for a few seconds

The pixel art credits sequence, which featured both the Sonic 2 special stage and Get Blue Spheres as well as the Eggman logo screens from the Studiopolis Zone boss, was cute

The Saturn logo could be seen on the diagram of the other habitable planets

Robotnik had a label for “Badniks” on his circuit breaker. I wonder if the drones in the movie are intended to be Badniks, or if we’ll see actual ones if a sequel gets made

Also, was it implied that Robotnik committed war crimes for the US government

One of the government guys who I think only got one line was played by Garry Chalk and as such sounded exactly like Optimus Primal

I can’t tell if Sonic getting a red race car bed was an intentional shout out to the Archie comics or if it’s just a coincidence, but I loved it

A dude about my age wearing a Sonic Mania t-shirt literally stood up and clutched his head in shock when Tails showed up

After the movie a very excited kid got his mom to take his photo with the Sonic display in the lobby. Afterwards he was so excited that he flossed

I can’t believe they talked about Olive Garden so much

[goron-king-darunia]

@hannikka Regarding a comment on this post. “i know this ask has nothing to do with me, but i will be honest with you, before you said to take this with a grain of salt i was going to fight you XD (not really, but still XD) because i definitely and actually fell in love as in real lovewhen i was very young and it lasted years, so i was horrified for a moment, but then again like you, said our experiences are not universa” Again, like I said, I have not been a child in a very long time and I am demisexual so my threshold for attraction is VERY different from the standard. I can only speak from my experiences as a child and what I’ve seen regarding other kids I’ve worked with. It’s not impossible to fall in love, real genuine love, as a kid. I just think that’s VERY rare for it to happen and it seems to be the exception rather than the rule. Obviously this is anectdotal rather than data driven and even then, in the USA, narratives involving children and romance are heavily sanitized because in the USA implying that children are people with feelings like adults is very scary strawberry territory for censors because god forbid we imply children are complex people. Even worse if we imply children and adults can be friends, good heavens. The USA tiptoes around intergenerational friendships like a plague corpse in the street because if something even remotely resembles pedophilia, it’s BAD. Like, the USA buries that shit so hard, to the point where when the Professor Layton games came out I was confused for the longest time about what relation Luke had to Layton because in the USA one does not simply just have a grown man mentoring a young boy that isn’t his son or a blood relative of some sort. Like... there were memes about Layton being a guy that kidnaps orphans because that, for some reason, seemed more probable than the actual explanation which is that Luke is the son of one of Latyon’s close friends, and he and Luke bonded over solving a mystery together in town. Hell, even Layton being adopted was kind of a revelation for me when that showed up in the narrative because the USA had a BAD track record of underrepresenting non-traditional family structures. So I’m sure my view on children is partially cultural as well. The USA doesn’t want to admit it but we’re STILL barely out of that old phase of “children should be seen and not heard” bullshit of treating kids like extensions of their parents and swung right around to some weird other extreme of “if we even acknowledge kids at all, we either make them wise beyond their years or infantalize them to hell and back because what even is a child anyway? Baby? Yeah, we know what that is. Helpless cinnamon roll that can never do anything bad ever. Teenager? Yeah we know what that is. That’s like that weird stage of development where you’re like an adult but with now power and lots of feelings and you’re terrible with everything. IDK if I just grew up overly sheltered (which is probably the case) but like... seeing all these new shows on Netflix that acknowledge that teenagers have sex feels... transgressive somehow. Like, I LIKE that we’re acknowledging it. Because we’ve known for ages it happens and clearly doing pearl-clutching and trying to pretend it doesn’t won’t stop teen pregnancy. But it feels so terribly RECENT that we’re actually not actively shoving that under the rug. The Lion King (the good animated one, not the CG one) firmly cemented in my head when I was a wee baby watching it that “friends” and “lovers” were separate categories (even though Nala and Simba are a couple, LOL) because like, yeah, thinking about getting married to my best friends was WEIRD (even at a time in my life when a lot of my friends were boys. XD) So I was totally with Simba when he was like “Ew, I can’t marry her! She’s my friend!” It’s really only been in recent years that the idea of friendship and romantic/sexual relationships aren’t mutually exclusive has become mainstream. Or at least, it’s only recently that I aged into a group where these stories were targeted. IDK, I feel like I’m getting into the weeds here and talking in circles. But the point is YES, I am totally only speaking from my own experiences here, I am 100% not an authority, I am only giving an opinion, and my opinion is largely shaped by experiences and media that are not universal by any means. XD. I was relatively sheltered, have conservative parents, was a neuroatypical child and still am neuroatypical as an adult, turned out to be demisexual which is pretty different considering most of the world is some flavor of allosexual, an I grew up in the USA where basically the only acceptable adult/child relationships are parent/child and teacher/student (and if you’re a teacher you’re on thin fucking ice, fucking YIKES) because the USA treats every other possible interaction between an adult and child as highly suspect. The only factors I have mitigating these views is that I’ve worked with kids and took developmental psychology in college. So I am aware children are a lot more complex than the culture in the USA gives them credit for being. Children aren’t some weird alien species. They’re largely just very tiny adults with very little power/little ability to act on their agency and very little experience. I have met 10 year olds I would trust more than I trust myself, honestly. Kids that are more mature than me and just... understand things I would definitely NOT have at the same age. So, like, again, I’m not saying it’s impossible for kids to fall in love. I’m just saying that usually kids aren’t concerned with that, and when they ARE, they’re usually practicing the particulars of love. but this is just from my own childhood and my limited experience working with grade school kids. Kids I worked with were far more interested in friendships than romances, and as a kid, my romantic interests were, like, Link from Ocarina of Time and I couldn’t decide if I liked fucking Knuckles the Echidna as a dad or as a boyfriend and I think I settled on dad material because I have an old old old illustrated story that I might have even uploaded here where Knuckles is my dad. XD So, like, for real, take my opinions with a FAT grain of salt because I am literally just a goofy goober and have been in exactly 2 romantic relationships and one of them only lasted a year. XD (The other is basically from college until now which is practically 10 years, but also largely long-distance so, like. Definitely not the usual experience. XD) But also, for real, if I say something controversial, weird, or just plain wrong, you can 100% feel free to fight me because I am an idiot and I say dumb shit all the time. That one debunked post that went around about the “Azhar Library bombing” is a big case in this. XD I am basically an educated adult child. I know some things, but more than anything I know enough to realized that I actually know VERY LITTLE and my whole life should be a learning experience. So I am absolutely not opposed to being wrong and getting taught things because that’s honestly half the reason I’m even remotely as good a person as I am today because I was a garbage kiddo and a garbage teenager and still probably a garbage young adult and was educated out of it. I have a lot of internalized beliefs that were changed because of college and listening to people online, and I can only learn more and grow more my having good friends throw down and fight me over stuff when I say a dumb thing. XD Literally I am probably only on the Left because good people educated me on politics when no one else would. I legit could have been one of those awful cases of a disenchanted teen that was led down the alt-right pipeline. Scary to think of but my parents weren’t teaching me so thankfully better people stepped up to do it. So, legit, you are welcome to fight me any time, man. I want to learn. I want to be inoculated against bad ideas and educated away from any bad opinions I hold.

[braindeadskeletons]

Hello!! Can I have a matchup please?? It seems like every time I ask someone for one, something happens in which they can't 😂😂 but that's fine lol,, I'm a cisgender bicurious female of which the curious part is aimed towards males! The only men I've ever liked are fictional smh,, my friends tend to think I'm bubbly and very open, and they relate me to the colours orange or yellow! I'm also British and I have a love for horror movies and psychology. I would go on but,, happy writing!! Love ya

I'm a very naturally femine person in appearance. My room is full of pastel colours, mainly pinks and purples, alongside plushies and lots of duck ornaments! Since my favourite animal is a duck (fuck geese they scare the shit out of me). Despite this, a lot of people don't expect this? Apparently I seem like the kind of person to have a much simpler or perhaps darker room. So I usually tend to shock people when they see what my room looks like lol. I love unique fashion! Stuff you see on cat walks - christmas themed dress, teacup shaped t-shirt, whatever! You name it, I've probably seen something like it! Because of this, I also have a love for weird decorations. My kitchen is flamingo themed, my bathroom is winter themed (yes, I have a santa clause toilet), and my office is fulled to the brim with 90s and 80s memorabilia. Stuff you wouldn't find nowadays without some digging!! I'm currently in college taking an accounting degree, also alongside business. After that, I also wish to take a literature course to help with my fanfiction writing (perhaps I could eventually write a novel? I don't know haha) Crude humour is the key for me to be happy. As much as silly humour and stuff is great, say something vaguely offensive and I'll crack up! As long as it's not meant to be taken genuinely, then I'll find it funny. Although I have to be close to the person for me to actually start laughing at stuff like that

Hey there! I'm so sorry this was a wait! I basically had some stuff come up and it delayed my work a lot. Plus the added time from the added information you gave me, which I thank you for by the way <3 I had a lot of fun writing this! I hope it doesn’t disappoint lol. Instead of delaying this further let's just get right into the matchup, shall we?

I match you with Undertale Papyrus!

This might've been a little too obvious huh? I just couldn't help it, you two seemed like such a natural pair! I try not to go with matches that are too obvious but sometimes you just have to go with it.

The first thing that naturally attracted Papyrus to you was how open and bubbly you are! He can relate a lot to that himself and seeing how much of a natural you are while interacting with others just convinced him further that he just had to talk to the pretty lady! Of course, the moment you two start talking you both hit it off. It’s kind of physically impossible for anybody to hate Papyrus or for Papyrus to hate anybody. You know those fanfics on AO3 that are slow burn, friends to lovers, 140+ chapters? That’s what this is. There is no better way to put your relationship before you both are dating. Papyrus means well, and by god is he a good person, but he’s a bit of an airhead when it comes to romantic attraction. You could literally tell him that you want to marry him and have ten monster/human hybrid children and he’d still be like ‘BUT,,,AS FRIENDS,,,?’ You’ll need to wait for him to understand his feelings himself. It’ll hit him at one of the dumbest times possible. For example:

----------

You: geese are just,,,,kinda,,,,horrible

Papyrus:

You: fuck geese

Papyrus: 

You:

You: Papyrus are y-

Papyrus:  I THINK I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU???

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Yup. Just like that. No warning, no proper build-up, nothing could have predicted this. It’s just silly moments between the two of you that make him so smitten. Like you’re such??? A dork??? How could he not fall in love with you?? It’ll be a huge smack in the face for him that he’s fallen in love with you. Probably it’ll be the same for you if you’re the type of person who is oblivious with love. If not, then it was horribly obvious he likes you and you were simply waiting for him to say something first. The blushing, constantly trying to impress you, his lovestruck gazes at you when you laugh at his antics, etc. The signs were all here if you’re able to spot them. Now that Papyrus is aware of the fact that he likes you he isn’t going to let this opportunity pass by. Time for the dating manual!

This part is actually going to be the worst. Yes, the hard work and effort are absolutely precious and you’re very flattered he’s trying to “court” you as he puts it but it’s going to be overwhelming. Unless you’re fully on board with flowers being left at your door, love letters, great “acts of love”, serenading you with a not so great voice, randomly inviting you out to “friend dates” that are actually regular dates in disguise, complimenting you every waking moment, and more you might want to stop him and just tell him you like him too. Once you tell him you feel the same way,  prepare for the most wholesome hugs and kisses from the big goober. Fully expect to wake up the next day and everybody already knows you’re his date-mate. Papyrus is going to tell everybody and their great grandmas that he landed himself with the greatest human ever. 

So you mentioned that your kitchen is flamingo themed? Uh,,,don’t get used to it. Not that Papyrus would ever openly try and change your home, he loves your decorating! He doesn’t really understand how people wouldn’t expect you to have such an adorable home! He has named all the duck ornaments, become well acquainted with your stuffed animals and the real animals, is slightly afraid of the Santa Claus toilet because Santa is the evil man sans told him about, etc, etc. But we all know how he gets in the kitchen. If you care about the wellbeing of your flamingo decorations maybe move them somewhere else? Papyrus swears that he won’t set fire to your home but we both know how that goes for everybody involved.

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Papyrus: HUMAN

You: Yeah?

Papyrus: HOW ATTACHED WERE YOU TO THE FLAMINGO DECOR

You:

Papyrus:

You:

Papyrus:

You: Hun, I love you

You: but if you fucked up the flamingo decorations I swear to god-

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This is a regular conversation you two need to have. Somebody, please stop him.

He really really loves your sense of fashion! Since the two of you have been dating, he’s actually gotten into it a bit himself. Papyrus tries not to invade your privacy but one time he stumbled into your office and saw all of your memorabilia dedicated to the 90s and 80s and immediately fell in love with the aesthetic. It’s all he could talk about for weeks and god knows he isn’t stopping anytime soon. Try introducing him to some more fashion! Papyrus probably won’t get enough of all of it. Watch him show up to your home dressed like the whole circus.

When Papyrus hears of how you’re studying right now, he’s going to go on a little bit of a rant about how he knows plenty of stuff about school! Not really. He just thinks he does because he has his face in a shrub at Toriel’s school. This isn’t to downplay his intelligence of course but monster education and human education have a lot of differences. When it comes to accounting Papyrus isn’t exactly going to understand anything, but he will be very supportive! He may not understand much about accounting but he surprisingly knows a lot about business?? Yeah, it’s a little strange but I guess you shouldn’t be that shocked. Papyrus is supposedly the ‘mascot of monsters’ and he’s also friends with the monster ambassador. To say the least, he’s surrounded by a lot of really important people. If you’d like, he’ll even take you to meet a couple higher-ups! Whatever he can do to support you he will.

As for your love for writing, Papyrus would probably have to redirect you to Alphys. Don’t take this the wrong way, it’s just that the humans on the surface have been a little…intense...for Papyrus and Sans. He’d like to take a break from any sort of writing for a long long time.

Onto the final section! Date nights! Which for Papyrus might as well be every night. His idea of an ideal date would probably be something extremely outlandish, but he knows humans can’t handle a lot of the stuff he can so he tones it down. Making dinner and watching a movie is good enough, right? Papyrus knows you love horror movies in particular. This poor guy is trying his very best. Please be patient with him. He wants to prove that he can protect you and be the bigger monster but he’ll end up clinging to you the whole time and maybe even crying?? Just a little. As a treat. 

Yeah, so go gentle on the horror movies. Poor guy is gonna pass out.

His main goal during the date will be to make you smile at every possible turn. You’re in luck with the crude humor! Now you may be thinking ‘but Papyrus isn’t crude, he’s such a sweetheart!’ and you’re not wrong really. Most of the stuff he says is entirely on accident or he’s just genuinely oblivious to the implications of what he just said. If anything that only makes it all the more hilarious to witness. If Papyrus catches himself with what he said he’ll try apologizing profusely only to be met with your adorable smiling face. He may not get what’s so funny but seeing how your smile reaches your eyes makes whatever he just said worth it.