#he's known for years that i've been dating my boyfriend and he's completely supportive.

[pokemonruby]

just reverse came out to my father after he hit me with one of these mid-phonecall:

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Thinking About Eddie Discovering He’s in a Bi 4 Bi Relationship with Lucy in the Dumbest Way Possible

My sister and I were playing around with idea and it made us laugh so I thought I'd share it with y'all

So Eddie and Lucy have been together for a while, Corroded Coffin is finally gaining some notoriety and Eddie has even gone on a short tour as the opening act for a bigger band

He's known he's bi since he was a kid, but hasn't really come out and is only now getting comfortable with it after living in Chicago for a few years and just knowing that other LGBT people are out there

But the AIDS epidemic is still going on, and all the stuff about bi-men especially is really bad so he's just not sure

However with more press centering around him and the band, he figures it's time he at least tell Lucy rather than have her hear something through the rumor mill

Robin has come out to everybody in the group at this point as well as Will, so Eddie thinks it will go over well, but he's still nervous

It's one thing to support one's friends, but he's not sure how much being her boyfriend will change her perspective on things

So imagine his surprise that when he tells her, not only is she totally accepting, but she even tells him, "it's completely normal"

This phrasing takes him aback and he asks her, "what do you mean by normal"

And she looks him dead in the eye and tells him, "well we all know being straight isn't really a thing"

And he, completely astounded by this statement says, "care to elaborate"

And she's like, "well everybody knows that all girls are pretty, and obviously all guys are handsome, but the trouble is that the church and government need men and women to get married in order to have children to maintain the country's work force and maintain property rights. So, they act like men loving each other and women loving each other as this affront against the nation's values or whatever. Which is so stupid since, again, we all like each other anyway so what does it matter who ends up marrying who? But I guess that's the government for you"

And Eddie is sitting there stupefied because like...she's not wrong? But her round about logic is wild, so he's like, "so when David Bowie says he's bi, what do you think that means?"

And Lucy is like, "well he's just saying the quiet part out loud, which gets everybody really mad"

And Eddie is just nodding along as this point and is like, "okay, honey, I need you to answer me this honestly, what do you think a lesbian is"

And Lucy is like, "a woman who dates women, obviously"

And Eddie is like, "okay good, and a gay guy?"

And Lucy is like, "a man who dates men, I do know what words mean"

And Eddie is like, "okay, so by that logic, if there are women out there who are only attracted to women and men out there who are only attracted to men, shouldn't it then mean that there are guys who are only attracted to women and vice versa?"

And Lucy is like, "no"

And Eddie is like, "well then what do you think a straight person is?"

And Lucy is like, "somebody who dates someone who is of the opposite sex"

And Eddie is like, "then because I'm dating you, am I straight?"

And Lucy is like, "no, you just told me you're bi"

And Eddie is like, "so, you're attracted to women?"

And Lucy is like, "yes"

"And you're dating me, so presumably you like guys"

"Of course"

"So you're bi"

And Lucy is like, "well I've only dated you so, technically I'm straight"

Eddie at this point doesn't know how to proceed and then is like, "have you told Steve or Jonathan this theory?"

And Lucy is like, "oh yeah, me and Steve had a long talk about it and he agrees with me"

Eddie now baffled is like, "what?"

And Lucy is like, "yeah, after Robin came out, me and Steve had a long conversation about it and he agrees that everybody is hot and the whole homophobia thing is stupid"

Eddie now completely exhausted is like, "okay, I gotta make a phone call, I love you and we're going to continue this conversation later"

Eddie then calls Robin who confirms everything Lucy just told him and that Steve was also of the same mind set

She had tried to explain to them what being bisexual meant, but neither of them were getting it so she decided to drop it assuming they'd figure it out on their own

Little did she know at the time that the pair of them were sitting so far in the closet together they had entered a state of nirvana by convincing themselves straight people just didn't exist

Eddie almost feels bad when he eventually has to burst her bubble and finally get Lucy to understand that straight people do, in fact, exist and it isn't just internalized homophobia, but real genuine hatred for people who are different that has been driving so much oppression against himself and others; but, it does make for a more open communication between the two of them and each are allowed to be just a little more themselves around the other

TLDR; Lucy and Steve both think straight people are a conspiracy made up by the government and Eddie realizes he is not, in fact, the dumbest bisexual on the planet

[rrelationshipadvice]

I've been thinking about breaking up with my boyftiends for aboit a year. Context.

In 2010 I started dating my first boyfriend. In 2017 I was still with him, but started to get a crush on another guy. I get crushes on people semi regularly, and this was known to my boyfriend. They're usually short lived and I don't act on them.

My boyfriend told me to go for it if I wanted to. He was OK with me being polyamorous. There was a bit of back and forth for him to figure out whether he was comfortable. I had a pretty strong crush and I get a bit loopy when I'm in that headspace. My focus is narrow. I have adhd and my first boyfriend is autistic.

So I am dating the two of them.

Every so often I ask bf1 if he's happy and comfortable. If he wants me to break up with bf2. He says no, even though sometimes he feels jealous. I do my best to make sure he feels loved, but it starts feeling like a chore when he gets more controlling.

In 2022 we break up because he admits that he's never been OK with me being polyamorous, and he assumed he would be eventually. I know I wouldn't be happy just dating him so it's over either way. Bf2 has been patient and supportive, and he'd never speak badly of bf1.

In the weeks before the break up, I knew it was coming while I spent some time away to volunteer for a festival. I wanted to work really hard while I was there to just forget about everything. Make some new friends and clear my head with some hard labour. I ended up meeting someone I really liked and we started chatting.

A month after my breakup I start dating him too. But as usual, I was in Big Crush territory and might have jumped into something new too quickly.

It's been more than a year since all that happened, and I'm still with bf 2 and bf3. I have not seen or heard from bf1 and I don't regret the break up, but I still think about it a lot. I want to break up with bf2 and bf3 about half the time. I just got a full time job, and I love being alone and I have lots of hobbies I enjoy. But my boyfriends mostly seem to want to do nothing. (they've met once and are aware of each other, but we don't hang out all together) They both have issues with anxiety and depression, which makes them low energy and not want to do anything. I can't help feeling like I'm sometimes wasting my time when I'm with them. I don't have sex with bf2 any more because I don't find him as physically attractive as I used to.

I'm pretty sure I'm an awful person and I shouldn't get anyone involved with me if I can help it. But breaking up with them is going to hurt them a lot. I know a breakup is inevitable, because everything ends. I'm not the marrying type so I already know that's not in the cards for either of them if they stay with me. They've both said they're not sure if they want to be parents and I definitely don't.

I still enjoy spending time with them, most of the time. They're kind and they understand me. We have a lot in common and we watch TV shows and movies I like. When do other people generally break up with their partner? When they know it's not going to lead to marriage? When things are completely awful and unsalvageable?

(could you please tag this with #polyamblues so I can find it easily. Thank you)

.

[keichanz]

thank you all so much for your kind words and support, my dear friends. i'm doing alright. to be honest, i'm actually more irritated than upset to have lost my job, because the means in which it happened is absolute fucking bullshit.

i'll give a watered down version of what happened if anyone is curious. also if anyone is curious, i gave a bit of a life update, too.

warning: this is gonna be long lmao #sorrynotsorry

basically a few weeks ago i got sick and couldn't work, so i requested a leave of absence. it was approved for two weeks, from the dates 1/31/24 to 2/14/24. my work computer would be locked during that range, so i would be unable to sign in and work.

during that time frame, i had been receiving emails from my work that required me to complete a task confirming that i would be returning to work on the 15th. those emails were delivered to my spam folder, and i wasn't even aware i was supposed to be getting any emails, so i never even thought to check there.

on the 15th, when i went to sign into my computer, i discovered that my computer was still locked. during the last week, my supervisor had been off of work as well because he was also sick, so all of my calls and texts to him were unanswered. also wanna mention i didn't know he was off because i wasn't told. anything.

so basically, nobody told me shit, i didn't complete the required task because i didn't know i had to, my work was like "welp we didn't get this from you so we're taking it that you don't want to return to work, so you're terminated" and there you have it. i lost my job because of their fuck up and in turn they're saying it's my fault.

pretty fucked up, yeah?

but anyway. i honestly can't say that i'm terribly upset. i'd grown to hate the job. it was too overwhelming, and i've learned that i just cannot handle a call center job. i've known this for a while now so for the past few months i've been applying everywhere for a job where it'll still be an office environment because that's what i have the most experience in, but being on the phone constantly isn't a requirement. remote and onsite jobs because i can't afford to be picky.

and some good news, i have an interview friday morning :) it's actually a remote hybrid position, at least that's what the ad said, so i can definitely work with that. might be good to get out of my house every once i a while. working from home has turned me into a bit of a hermit lmao.

now on to the life update. it's been...difficult. my new year did not start off very well. literally on new years day, at about 8 am, i was woken up to the unpleasant sounds of a cat throwing up a hairball. fellow cat owners, i'm sure you all know the sound. so i got up to make sure he was okay and that he got it out of his system. instead what i found was a trail of phlegm and romeo struggling. then he darted off to another part of my house, and i followed after him, worried.

i'm gonna give a little warning just to be safe: the next part mentions blood.

i will never forget the sight that greeted me when i found him and over a month later the image still haunts me. romeo's front was covered in blood, with the stuff literally pouring from his mouth and i fucking screamed and i SPRINTED to my bedroom to get my phone to call the emergency vet. i made an appointment to bring him in, and when i went to check on romeo again, he was in the same spot, however he'd managed to pass a fucking massive hairball. he seemed to be breathing okay and didn't seem to be in any pain, so not knowing what to do, i called my mom and i was sobbing as i tried to explain what happened. she and my sister (who's now living with my parents temporarily but that's another story) ended up coming over to make sure i was okay because when i tell you i was hysterical when i called her, i mean it. i was barely coherent and crying so hard she couldn't understand me.

while i waited for them to arrive, my boyfriend (who i was in a sleep call with and i woke his ass up) kept me calm until they got here. i love that man seriously.

ashley looked romeo over since she'd worked with cats before when she worked for the ASPCA and told he's going to be okay. they managed to calm me down and convinced me not to go to the emergency vet in the city as it'd be a $200 fee. my mom called my local vet, left a message (as they were closed because of the holiday) and we waited for a call back. romeo was still doing okay and i cleaned him up the best i could. guys the amount of blood was...concerning. like seriously i was terrified to see him like that, i seriously thought something was wrong. god it was awful and i'm pretty damn sure i have some kind of PTSD from it. christ.

when the emergency vet called back, she said that romeo is going to be okay and the blood is probably just because the hairball was larger than normal and it aggravated his esophagus. said to just keep an eye on him, try to get him to eat something easily digestable, and if he's still vomiting, to call back and get him in today via emergency services.

so now, moving on. obviously afterward i made an appointment for him at my local vet, and it was discovered there that Romeo had a large matted hairball in his stomach. the vet had no idea how long it had been there, but it definitely needed to be removed, so he was scheduled for surgery. his surgery was about a month ago, and he's recovering very well. i'm beginning to wonder if that hairball had been the culprit of him constantly throwing up because now he's acting like his usual self of having the zoomies and he's throwing up less hairballs. so he's doing much better and i'm grateful, tho i'm still keeping a very close on him because fuck i NEVER want to go through that again. damn cat's gonna give me an ulcer with how much stress he put me through.

but wait, there's more lmao. not cat related, but something i've also been dealing with that i thought had been resolved last fucking YEAR. so, last year - actually around this time in february - i received a notice from the IRS that i owed over $3000 to them because my 2021 tax return did not match what is in federal data bases. and i was like uuuhh what. i had my dad look it over because im dumb when it comes to this sort of thing, and it was discovered that my social security number was used to claim unemployment benefits for the year 2021 in fucking CALIFORNIA. it's unclear if someone in the unemployment services in CA fucked up and typed in somebody's social wrong and used mine instead, or if someone in CA is deliberately using my SSN, but in either case, it's being used to claim UI. so i had to contact the unemployment services in CA which is called employment development department (i'll be calling it EDD) and guys lemme tell they are fucking IMPOSSIBLE to get a hold of. they are so understaffed that if someone is unavailable to take your call the automated system goes "sorry no one is available" and it just disconnects. so i had to call so many times to get myself into the damned queue, and even then the wait is nearly 30 minutes.

so i finally managed to get a human being, i explained everything to him, and he was able to confirm that yeah, i see the claim, you obviously don't live in california, and he told me to submit a fraud report stating that i don't live in ca, i have never lived in ca, i have no attachment to the workforce in ca, ect ect. i so submitted it, and then that was that and i thought that was the end of it and i didn't get anything else from the IRS for the rest of the year.

it was not.

the only reason i realized that this issue had NOT been resolved was because when i went to check the status of my federal tax return because GIMME MY DAMN MONEY I NEED IT, i got a message saying my refund had been "applied to overdue tax obligations" and i was like HELL NO so i called the IRS and yep they confirmed it was because of that stupid fucking unemployment bullshit and after yet again explaining everything that happened, they instructed me to call the EDD and ask for them to send me a corrected 1099 G form so i can in turn send it over to them then after that fill out an identify theft affidavit. so yet again, i called the EDD five million fucking times, managed to get in the queue, waited an ungodly amount of time to talk to a human, only to be told that lol sorry they can't prove that the claim isn't fraud just from what i told them so they can't send me a 1099 G form. im like?? BITCH I DON'T EVEN LIVE IN CALIFORNIA I NEVER HAVE YOU LITERALLY HAVE MY SSN CAN'T YOU LOOK THIS SHIT UP??? but nope they don't have proof so i was told i need to file an appeal on the "disqualification on the claim" (whatever tf that means) and submit ANOTHER fraud report.

so i did both of those things, then filled out the 14039 form (identity theft affidavit) and now i have to wait until march 4th to see if it was accepted and if i'll be getting my refund. which i desperately need because lol i haven't paid my rent this month :')) whoops.

moving on. since about last may, my kitchen has been getting renovated. so currently i do not have a kitchen. i don't have an oven, a kitchen sink, or even storage. well i kinda have storage because my cabinets were recently put up, but i can't use them all yet. i havent really been able to go grocery shopping and i've been living on microwavable meals and a LOT of takeout courtesy of doordash. it sucks because i MISS my kitchen, i wanna cook meals and actually fucking CLEAN MY HOUSE, but i can't. my dad has been amazing since he's the one doing it, and i'm forever grateful to him. my kitchen is about i'd say...maybe 80% finished. we're working on putting in the new flooring right now, so after that, i'll have my stove and sink again. it's nearly there!! i'll post pictures of the before and after is anyone is curious. so yeah i haven't had a kitchen for like almost a whole year lmao. it's been tough :'))

SO.

there you have it, folks. what i've been dealing with for the past month and a half. it has been stressful AF and please god i just need a break uuugghhh. but anyway, i applied for unemployment and waiting to see if i'll be getting anything from them as i continue my job search. hoping the interview friday goes well. i'll post an update if anyone is curious enough i suppose.

.....so i didn't mean for this to get so long lol thanks for sticking around to read the entire thing if you did. i'm glad some of my followers still care ❤️

i love you all and thanks for supporting me after all these years. grateful to have you guys and call you my friends.

anyway i'm gonna go play some DayZ and kill some zombies.

peace!

welp

lost my job lol

[ava-achlys]

The Boyz NSFW Scenarios

Kim Sunwoo - Hands Off [Requested]

softdom!Sunwoo x gf!reader

Request: Sunwoo likes to play with his girlfriend's breasts

Warnings: mentions of bullying, body image, underage drinking, anxiety (very brief), titfucking

Long overdue request for @ace-seventeen-world , I hope you like it! Also first time writing anything about titfucking, I hope it turned out alright. 🙏🏽

Sunwoo loves you even when you don't feel like loving yourself.

Being well-endowed since puberty hit meant you received a lot of unwanted attention from all genders. Some would pass judgement, calling you desperate for attention; and some would ogle and make lewd comments. This led to you coming to school wearing oversized baggy clothes and even turtlenecks no matter the weather. The less your body was apparent for people to judge, the better, you thought. Except the comments never stopped. You were so sick of your body being the talk of the student population of your small-town high school that you couldn't wait to graduate; and move far away to start afresh in college, where you futilely hoped that people would be more mature about these things.

Moving away for college turned out to be the best decision you made. You made a whole bunch of new, more mature friends who taught you to embrace and appreciate your body. Inappropriate comments from strangers still came your way, but with your new, reliable support system, you learnt to shut them out, and your girlfriends would even try to fight them for you, which made you feel very touched and grateful. Apparently, this sincerity didn't stop with just your good friends. That was also how you met your current boyfriend. Your friends had convinced you to come with them to a party during your first semester, and you allowed them to doll you up, upon much pestering. You were dressed in a nice blouse and skirt, which turned some heads at the party, and though you felt rather self-conscious in the beginning, you loosened up after a few drinks and dances. From there, you didn't care if people paid good or bad attention to you; all you wanted was to have fun with your best friends.

One of your friends introduced you to a gaggle of other first- and second-years, who were very loud and goofy, except for one; who had previously been laughing boisterously along with them until he set his eyes on you. He abruptly stopped laughing when you made eye contact, and you could have sworn he developed a light flush. With pouty lips and dark eyes, and a mop of fluffy black hair, he smiled shyly at you, nodding in acknowledgement and softly introducing himself. His voice was deep and had an attractive drawl and a pleasant raspiness. His name was Sunwoo, and you ingrained it into your memory easily, smiling shyly back at him. You mostly kept to yourself as the rest of them chatted, nursing your drink when a flurry of words and a loud slap shook you. You whipped around to see one of the boys, with cotton-candy hair and sharp feline eyes rubbing his arm and muttering under his breath next to Sunwoo, who was staring at you while whispering something to the boy - Eric, was it?

"Apologize!" Sunwoo hissed, nudging him. You tried to back off but Eric nervously came forward and rubbed his neck sheepishly, stuttering an apology while avoiding your eyes. He didn't specify what he was apologizing for, but you already had an inkling. All your friends were now staring at you, confused as to what had transpired. Unable to handle the stifling awkwardness, you quickly murmured "It's fine, Eric," before speedwalking away to get some fresh air, unaware that a certain dark-haired boy was scurrying after you. You turned to the nearest balcony and hurriedly gulped some fresh air to calm down, all-too-familiar feelings of panic and shame drowning you. You fought back tears, ignoring some of the smokers occupying the same space, who were looking at you with a mixture of confusion and pity. You managed to calm your breathing, and blink back tears, when a figure slowly comes to stand next to you. He doesn't look at you out of courtesy, fixing his gaze straight ahead. "Are you alright?" he asks softly. You nod firmly, trying to seem completely calm. "Eric... sometimes says things without thinking, but I know that's not an excuse. I just want to apologize again, for making you uncomfortable." His voice is gentle and soothing, and you tilt your head to face him, since he was a bit taller.

"It's not your fault, but thanks Sunwoo. And don't worry, parties aren't really my thing, I just came cause my friends were begging me to join them," you chuckle softly, to which Sunwoo gives you a lopsided grin.

"I feel you on that. I'm here to look after my idiot friends."

You share a good laugh, and spend the rest of the evening getting to know each other, but conversation comes easy, like you've known each other for years.

You and Sunwoo's paths seem to cross often, apparently because his faculty was right next to yours, and soon your friend groups merge and become one massive group, and you've even forgiven Eric. Days turned into months, casual meetups turned into lunch and movie dates, and soon you and Sunwoo are constantly switching back and forth staying over at each other's apartments.

Ever since you two started dating and you've gotten used to wearing more comfortable clothes around him, you've noticed him staring at your chest every now and then, but at least he had the decency to look apologetic and embarrassed whenever you catch him. You started to tease him, and he would bashfully hide his face and whine cutely. To get back at you, he'd purposely keep his hands cold and hug you out of nowhere, just to hear you squeal, knowing you're ticklish. Sometimes he'd be even bolder, trailing his hands up your sides and cupping your breasts under your shirt, especially when you walk around the house with no bra on. He'd do it when you're cuddling on the couch watching a movie, or worse, when you're trying to study. You didn't mind it usually, since you appreciated the support from his hands since the weight of your breasts takes a toll on your back, and you weren't fond of wearing a bra 24/7. Except the little shit likes to tease, jiggling them around and squeezing them when he's being extra playful, even grazing your nipples with his fingertips; chuckling lowly in your ear when you gasp or squirm in pleasure.

One night in bed, you confront him jokingly. Your period was on its way soon, and your breasts were feeling extra tender and swollen, something you had complained about, so your dear boyfriend very happily obliged, massaging them gently to ease your discomfort. After a while he gets bored, and starts prodding them, round eyes watching intently as they bounce. You can't help but laugh at how adorably fascinated he looks, so you ask him why he's so enamored by your boobs.

"They're just.. fun to play with, yknow? Bouncy and squishy. Can't help myself okay, you're just so perfect," Sunwoo grumbles, blushing again since he got caught.

"Yeah? What if I lose weight and they get smaller? Will you still like me then?" you ask, feeling rather self-conscious, irrational worries that he only likes you for your assets filling your mind. You try to ignore them, knowing your relationship with Sunwoo was much more than superficial, but trauma and bad memories keep causing you to doubt yourself.

"Of course I would!" Sunwoo gasps, reaching up to hold your face urgently but with such a tender gaze in his eyes. "It's still you, and you'll always be perfect, and I love you no matter what."

Tears welled up in your eyes when he said those words. Few people had treated you with such genuine kindness and you were so grateful to have him as your partner. You squished his cheeks together and pressed a kiss to his lips, surprising him. "I love you too, Sunwoo," you whispered, a small smile on your teary face. A cheeky grin slowly replaces the shock on his face. "Shall I show you just how much I love you?" he drawls, crawling on top of you, making you lay down on the bed. Sunwoo positions you to nestle comfortably against the pillows, helping you take your shirt off afterwards.

Your cheeks start to heat up at Sunwoo's intense gaze raking over your body, and your arms habitually come up to shield your breasts, but he's quick to catch them, gently pulling them away. "Don't be shy. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met, inside and out," he murmurs, making you blush even harder. He kisses you deeply, before trailing his lips down, pressing light kisses down your neck and across your chest, gently nipping at the skin just above your right nipple. He resumes massaging your breasts, admiring the way your face scrunches up cutely in pleasure, his warm hands on your skin making you sigh happily. He leans down again, tracing a circle around your areola, making you shiver. He teases you a little more, flicking your hardened nub with his tongue before finally latching on and suckling on it, rubbing it periodically with his tongue. His hands are still massaging your breasts, twisting and tugging on your other nipple.

He pulls off with a satisfied 'pop' when you whine, pleased with how raw and puffy your nipple has become, glistening with an abundance of his spit. He dives back down to subject your other nipple to the same treatment, but this time, his free hand creeps down your tummy and between your thighs. You moan when he grazes your clit with his fingertips, and you can feel his plush lips smirk into your skin, obviously proud of himself. You willingly part your legs, and he dips his middle finger straight into your folds, your juices coating his finger instantly. He raises his head to look at you, eyebrows raised cheekily. "So wet already, babe? Always knew your nipples were so sensitive," he chuckles, slowly pumping his finger in and out of you. You shut your eyes, the stimulation of his mouth on your chest and his hand on your pussy clouding your mind. He inserts another finger and pumps you faster while he drags his teeth against your puffy nipple, making you shiver and moan even louder.

He starts leaving hickeys and bites all over your decolletage, looking forward to seeing those pretty marks bloom purple tomorrow morning. Finally, he eases up on his ministrations on your chest, and focused on fucking you hard and fast with his fingers, slamming three digits into your core, gleefully watching the way your breasts jiggle from the impact. He glances up at your face, finding your head tossed back, soft mewls and moans falling from raw, bitten lips. You're clutching the bedsheets in a death grip as Sunwoo starts sucking on your clit as he fingers you. He sucks hard, nudging it with his tongue every so often as he slows down his thrusts, opting to scissor you open and drag his fingertips along your walls, rubbing hard against your g-spot when he finds it, indicated by your shrill yelp. "B-babe, gonna c-cum," you gasp, still writhing in pleasure. "Go on, love, cum for me," he mumbles against your core, and soon you're clenching on his fingers, coating them with your cum, and he continues to fuck you through your climax.

Gasping for air, you wince as he pulls his fingers out, pussy clenching on nothing as you watch him idly put them in his mouth, sucking them clean. He smiles lazily at you, telling you how sweet you taste and even gives you a kiss, making you taste yourself. Your cheeks turn crimson again, and you decide you want to return the favor, having felt his hard cock pressing against your thigh when he leaned down to kiss you. You eye the tent in his jeans, and start unbuckling his belt. He looks at you in alarm, grasping your hands to stop you. "Baby, you don't have to do that, this is about you," he smiles gently. You pout at him. "But I wanna help you too! I have an idea that I always wanted to try with you…" Sunwoo takes a moment to consider, making sure you were genuinely comfortable doing so, and his eyes glimmer with anticipation when he nods in agreement. You beam wordlessly at him, helping him out of his jeans and boxers. You can't help but lick your lips at the sight of his erect cock.

Sunwoo's dick always made you feel good, whether it was fucking your pussy or your throat, but you always wondered what it would feel like sliding between your bountiful breasts. You pull him up to straddle your chest, and his eyes widen when he realizes what you want him to do. "Really?" he gasps, dick twitching with excitement when you readily nod. He chokes on a moan when you swipe your finger up his cock, gathering his dripping precum to slather it between your breasts. He slowly slides his dick into the valley between your breasts as your hands push them together, making it even tighter around him, and he groans lowly. Sunwoo thrusts shallowly, loving the way the smooth skin of your breasts feels around his aching cock. He begins to take over, his larger, warmer hands replacing yours, squishing your tits together as he rocks his hips faster, becoming addicted to the the feeling. It wasn't much physical stimulation for you, but you felt yourself getting hot again watching his face contort in pleasure, his tightening grip on your tender, sensitive breasts rather arousing. You can't look away, mesmerized by how good he looks with his lower lip caught between his teeth, grunting softly as he uses your tits to get himself off.

"You look so hot like this Sunwoo," you murmur, your hand resting on his thigh as he continues to piston his hips. He barks out a breathless laugh, "Have you looked at yourself properly? You're fucking gorgeous, babe, don't you ever forget that. Although, I'm down to remind you all the time." he winks. You smirk at him, and your hands come up to squeeze his muscular ass, the same way he likes to squeeze your boobs. He's got a nice butt, you had to admit, toned and sculpted from years of various sports, and it was your weakness the same way your breasts were his. He moans louder when he feels you groping his ass, hips stuttering as he approaches his climax. He throws his head back as he fucks erratically, squishing your tits even tighter together and you keen at the rough treatment. You coax him in a soft whisper to cum all over your tits, and soon he does, painting your chest white as his hips slow down, and he's gasping for air. A little bit of his cum has spurted onto your lips, but you willingly lick it up and smile up at him, your hands still soothingly rubbing his cheeks as he comes down from his high.

You grab some wet tissues from your bedside drawers and clean up your chest as best as you could, wiping away all the cum before Sunwoo flops next to you, resting his head on your chest the way he usually loves to. You lay there in comfortable silence for a while more, stroking his hair and you feel him smile into your skin, his finger absentmindedly tracing the hickeys he's left across your breasts. Maybe going to that party all those months ago was the best decision you ever made (second only to moving here for college), and maybe you and Sunwoo finally get out of bed to shower, and maybe you go for a second round in the bathroom, filling the steamy air with echoes of wet skin slapping and soft proclamations of 'I love you's.

[swcetnight]

It’s Definitely You || kth (m.) 5

synopsis:

Working as a barista in NYC has its perks, but when your ultimate dream of being on the Broadway stage tends to come crumbling down, the only thing that raises your spirits is the comfort of a complete stranger… who seems to have known you for far longer than you thought.

masterlist here

→ pairing: taehyung x barista!reader (also musical theatre performer cause I had to)

→ genre: fluff, angst, future smut | strangers(ish) to lovers… i won’t give the truth away... gonna have to read and find out for yourself ;))

-> warnings: implied sexual themes, emotional breakdown, taehyung is too much of a gentleman and may have you swooning, anxiety, a little bit of yelling… angst is beginning to settle in…

→ word count: 12.8k

authors note:

happy birthday to meeee!!! i’m now 20 years old… that’s terrifying. but what better way to celebrate another year gone by with kim taehyung being the ultimate boyfriend who knows how to take a girl on an official first date??? there is no better way! I'm so sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter out.. life has been.. insane. i just previously moved so i've been settling in with all that comes with it! thank you for waiting for the next chapter and I hope y'all enjoy it!! let's cry over kim taehyung together.

authors thanks:

a HUGE thank you to @hobipaint for beta-reading and helping me put this story into words! seriously, hazels feedback and suggestions are SO freaking helpful. i love you girl. also, a huge thank you to @amourtae for beta-reading and supporting this story!! thank you to everyone who continues to support me and my work... i could not thank you all enough for the kind messages and comments you've left on this series!!! i'm so beyond thankful that you enjoy my writing and are looking forward to the outcome of this series! I believe there will be two more chapters left before I close out this series and finally work on one shots LOL but I hope these next two chapter keep you all on your toes!

if you are enjoying this story, please don’t hesitate to reblog + send me an ask (on or off anon) and let me know your thoughts, feelings, theories, etc!! i would love to hear from all of you 🤍

without further ado, here is chapter 5!

December 8th

The art that stands before you is nothing compared to the concrete knowledge of Taehyung's feelings toward you— even the most iconic of art pieces wouldn't come close to the weightless feeling in your chest. Right now, you're standing before a building filled to the brim with art pieces that go down in history… and yet, all you can truly focus on is the warm hand clasped within your own, a creation unlike any other: an artist's hands.

Taehyung's dark eyes have been flying across The Met’s exterior: a large off-white building, towering above like a concrete cloud with its dazzling architecture catching eyes of nearby tourists who "ooo" and "ahh" at the finery. It beckons you towards the front doors as two red ribbons fall on either side, flowing in the chilly wind like lava; seemingly as bright as the tips of your frost-bitten noses.

You've been to The Met a few times, mostly alone when you needed time to think after a rough day— especially since it was free and provided you time to appreciate others' art, rather than focusing on the failing of your own. Usually, you would walk the halls and glance at the groups rummaging through the exhibits— eyes wide and smiles bright. Usually, you would admire the works you'd seen countless times with a fond smile, quietly making your way through. Usually, you would be walking through these doors alone.

But today was not a usual day.

The breeze brushes Taehyung's hair out of his eyes— as if the universe wanted him to truly see your efforts to bring him here— and he looks happy. A gentle smile graces his lips, his honey-like skin slightly creasing near his eyes with joy and solitude. You can't help but feel a sense of luck.

He is truly beautiful.

“I have no words.” A sigh leaves his lips, his smile full and bright like the sun that shines overhead. “Why did you bring me here?”

A few nights ago, you had briefly remembered Taehyung's confession of having been to The Met over a year ago— which shocked you, ya know, since he is an artist. And The Met is free. Free art for an artist? Why hasn't he gone more often? He assured you that he "just didn't have the time," but you knew that wasn't the truth.

You're getting better and better at picking up on his lies, and it saddens you to know that he tells a lot of them.

“It’s important for you to go to The Met.” You had claimed that night. “As an artist.”

Despite kissing him a few nights ago, you didn't have the guts to tell him that the truth behind your bringing him here was to spend more time with him. You were about to leave for a whole month… and a part of you missed him already. You cursed at yourself, claiming that it wasn't far enough into your relationship to start missing him while away— and yet your heart keeps aching every time you think of leaving him in a week.

“Just because.” You shrug in reply to his question, rocking back on your heels and smirking at him while he marvels over the view.

The fact that Taehyung had cried in the hallway of your apartment building also weighed on you. You still haven’t asked him about it — nor are you going to — but that was the final push towards this trip. He must be facing something extremely difficult, judging by the look on his face that night. He looked utterly broken and horrified. The least you could do was try to help him smile again.

Thus, here you are, standing before The Met, which holds the world's most significant artworks, while you hold an artist's hand.

"This place seems more ethereal now…." He exhales, his shoulders dropping in relief, and you can't help yourself from rubbing his back gently. He turns his head to look at you. "Especially since I get to be here with you."

Cheesy.

Truth be told, this was all very foreign to you: this thing called dating. Which… you couldn't say you were necessarily doing since he hasn't asked you on a proper date yet. Still, your stomach flutters when he looks at you this way— and his dark eyes hold the promises that you've kept locked away for a long time.

If you said that the only reason you hadn't dated when you were younger was that no one was interested, you would be lying. Your parents had gotten a divorce when you were young, then went through second divorces with your stepparents— so to you, love seems impossible. Love seems fake. It seems impossible to grasp.

And yet here is Taehyung, with eyes full of love and a hand that holds yours like a cocoon, keeping those little promises safe. You can't believe that you're lucky enough to have him by your side… to hold him like this and to learn what real love should be like.

Of course, you would never say this out loud… but with every day that passes, you realize that you truly are falling in love with him. No matter how scary that may be, it's inevitable.

"Alright, enough with that." You huff, pushing him towards the doors.

"Am I not allowed to be romantic?"

You shake your head. "Not at this moment; we've got too much to look at and not enough time."

Taehyung laughs at your eagerness, reaching forward to open the door and holding it for you. You pause, staring at him with an annoyed look on your face.

He looks lost.

"What?" He questions.

"I told you you're not allowed to be romantic."

A grin emerges onto his lips, the wind jostling his hair— and you want to slap yourself because this truly feels like a dream. A dream you never want to wake up from.

"I'm holding the door for you, M'lady. Besides, you have to lead the way— and we do have limited time." With that, he grasps your hand, nods to the people behind you in apology, and pulls you through the entrance.

It takes a moment to rebalance yourself, and you nearly fall over again when you notice how close the two of you are, noses touching. Taehyungs arm is around your waist, gratefully holding you up, or else you would've been on the floor by now. An inescapable blush creeps onto your cheeks and you shake your head slowly.

"This is still romantic." You whisper softly.

"Sorry." His voice is soft; his smile is shining brightly. Chocolate eyes run over your features, slowly traveling from your nose, to your lips, to the strand of hair falling on the side of your face, and settling back to your eyes. You're having trouble breathing. "I guess I can't help it."

A moment more of him staring at you like that is enough to make you pull out of his embrace, embarrassment evident as you turn him towards the first room. He's laughing, and you can't contain the smile that stretches onto your lips, despite your bashfulness.

"All hail the artists of artists!" You exclaim.

You had initially come here to raise Taehyung's spirits— and yet you are absolutely entranced by the art before you, maybe even more excited than the artist himself. You're starting to wish you'd studied art in school. Theatre was cool, too, but you felt like drawing the way Taehyung does at this moment. Each piece tells its own story, the metaphors and symbols dancing within brushstrokes and sculpted clay that overlaps and curls in a beautiful pattern. It’s almost like a script full of secrets… where the art is right in front of you, but the meaning within is hidden and up to the viewer's understanding. It’s intriguing.

"This one reminds me of you." Taehyung expresses quietly, standing before a simple painting of a single microphone standing in the center of an empty auditorium. A dim light is cast upon the mic, making it glow and shine in the otherwise dark and gloomy atmosphere. You had to bite back a smile. He sure had you all figured out, didn't he?

You pass so many stories; a woman and a child painting within a painting, a sculpted deer, a weird sculpture that you honestly have no idea the meaning of… it seemed as if the artist was drunk while creating it. And yet, Taehyung stood staring at that single confusing sculpture in awe. The passion that radiates through him as he glances at the awkward objects that make up the sculpture makes you smile. You can feel his enthusiasm within his long pauses and lingering gaze… these small moments make your heart seize; seeing him in his element was a whole different experience.

There's one drawing in particular that makes Taehyung pause for an exceptional amount of time, and you can't bring yourself to continue to admire the lover's hugging sculpture in front of you, too curious about what has him so distracted.

Silence fills the room as the last couple leaves to embark on the next exhibit, but Taehyung doesn't move. He's quiet as he stares solemnly, his hands hidden deep within his jacket pockets. Without asking any questions, you finally look at what's entranced him for this long.

The Clock. by Anpan

It's a drawing of a grandfather clock, a dim reflection of a man's outline with his finger moving the clock's hands in reverse. On the face of the clock, there are different drawings of a girl going through life, from birth to teen years, middle age, old age, and death.

You admire the way it's drawn, all by pencil, not needing any form of color to express the deeper meaning. The meaning of a man going back in time to recall his lover's life. It takes you a moment to finally look away from the drawing, turning your attention towards the gentle eyes that are already settled on you.

"What?" You question, grasping onto Taehyung's arm when his gaze never strays from your own.

All he does is offer a small smile— a boxy shape that outshines the sparkling lights of The Mets Christmas decorations — a smile that you've grown so fond of.

"It's nothing." He responds.

----

December 9th

"You and Taehyung did WHAT?"

You wince awkwardly, glancing around to make sure that no customers in the cafe caught wind of your conversation, which (as usual) is hard to believe since Jimin's excitable self is loud when he takes in mind-blowing information. Sometimes, it's a blessing and a curse. More so a curse in this situation.

You barely move your mouth as you utter, "we kissed," before taking another sip of your seasonal beverage.

This year (courtesy of yourself), the cafe has a "milk & cookies" latte, with customers raving inside and out of the Academia walls over the flavoring. You even heard customers discussing it in a nearby grocery store, which had you smiling ear to ear at the notion of your own flavoring blend exciting their taste buds.

Even Jimin was drinking the aforementioned latte, but he has barely taken many sips since you enlightened him with the topic of you and Taehyung's brief make-out session on your couch.

Jimin's leaning across the small table in eager interest. His smile is probably reaching from the East Village to Washington Heights. "You KISSED? And when were you going to tell me? When I was old and gray??? How did this happen? What happened? Was it good??? Did Taehyung—"

"Oh my gosh, could you be any louder?" You seethe, smacking his hand that rests on the table. He's quick to respond, gasping and rubbing the pain away with an over-dramatic glare. "Yes, we kissed, and yes, it was good and you can shut up about it now."

You brush off the topic like snow off the roof of a car, unable to converse any further without your face igniting into flames. You enjoyed every second of that kiss... every brush of his lips against your own, every time his fingers ran through your hair, every single moan that he released that you swallowed eagerly and wished to hear again.

However, there was no way you dared to speak these feelings aloud.

As if on cue, Taehyung's chilled frame breaks through the doors of the cafe and straight into your direction, wafting cold winter air in with him and cutting off Jimin's next question about the kiss. He's bombarded with bags, shifting his weight as he rests them on the empty seat beside Jimin. They must be his college bags, filled to the brim with binders and folders, the starry night painting plastered atop one of them— most notably his art bag.

He's heaving, attempting to catch his breath as he removes layers and layers of clothing. And yet, he looks stunning as always, his hair parted slightly as snowflakes sit peacefully within the dark waves. It's easy to admire the way one falls onto his nose and melts at the touch. Beneath the mounds of coats and jackets, he's wearing a dark brown sweater that highlights the earthy tone of his irises.

"Woah, woah, woah—"Jimin exclaims, pushing the chair farther from him when a piece of snow falls onto the floor, nearly hitting Jimin's shoe. "Keep the cold outside, will you?"

Taehyung smiles, finally collecting himself as he drags his computer out from the Starry Night bag. "Sorry!" He exhales happily.

His attention turns immediately to you, and before you can even think— he leans over and places a kiss on your cheek, a snowflake falling onto your forehead. You usually would squeal at the cold, but you're too busy suffering from a hot face after an utterly unpredictable kiss was just planted straight onto your skin.

It all happened so fast, and it has you careening.

Jimin is grinning like a buffoon, waving his eyebrows in your direction, which causes your cheeks to grow even hotter. You nearly forget that a kiss on the cheek is a regular occurrence in relationships— which, again, you can't say you have a relationship when he hasn't really put a label onto this whole endeavor.

Taehyung seems unperturbed by his actions, continuing to seat himself beside you and open up his laptop. On the other hand, you are red in the face and have trouble breathing. Does this mean you're official? Does he want to pursue regular relationship actions with you? Did he kiss you on the cheek in a friendly way?

What the hell, Y/n. Kissing is not friendly.

Jimin can obviously tell that your brain is spiraling because he's quick to change the topic, questioning aloud in the brain-wreckers direction. "How's the project coming?"

"I'm almost finished. I have to put my signature on the drawing and then—" He holds out the "n" in "then," shuffling through his many google docs on the screen. When he seems to have found the doc he was looking for, he continues. "Then, I'll be able to send it to our teacher and Kim Namjoon… which is totally freaking me out."

"I'm sure it's amazing." You chime in, quickly shutting your mouth again when he turns to look at you with a smile. Can he tell that you were freaking out literally two seconds ago?

Taehyung speaks nonchalantly. "It's not perfect, but I tried my best."

Nope. He definitely can not tell you're freaking out… good.

Jimin sighs, seemingly coming down from the previous conversation since he's nursing his latte again. "Everything you make is perfect; let's be honest." Jimin leans towards you. "He won almost every single 'artist of the week' award in our school— but they had to mix it up the other times so that it seemed fair."

"That's not true." Taehyung huffs in ignorance.

"It is true. You we're constantly leaving class to go accept your award at the main building."

Taehyung doesn't respond, too busy clicking through files while Jimin mouths "it's true" to you. It's hard not to smile at the thought of Taehyung doing so well in his studies, seeing as he was this stressed out over it the minute he walked into the doors. Even enough to kiss you on the cheek in his haze.

"Do you want to see it?"

You almost don't register Taehyung's question, but the second you do, you find him looking at you with a hopeful gleam in his eyes. What did you know about art? Shouldn't he be showing Jimin? The truth is, you know it's because he favors you and wants you to be happy with his work… and you can't help the fluttering feeling that erupts in your chest at the notion.

You nod. "Yeah! Of course I do."

He slides his computer over, clicking on the link before bracing his arm around the back of your chair. It takes everything in you not to lean into the ghosting heat of his skin, but you refrain and attempt to focus on the painting that splays out in front of you.

The brushstrokes dance and skim across the surface like golden swirling ribbons. Architecture made from rays of the golden sun. It's almost as if you see the theatre in person again, the building radiating with dark brown and golden strokes that paint the exterior of the theatre perfectly. Golden swirls cinch at the top of the double doors which hold shadows of people beyond the grey painted glass. The theatre is sparkling in what seems to be a spotlight, blotches of white accentuating the sparkles across the golden surface. Next to the doors, there’s a sign which reads “Kim’s Theater: Now Open!”

"Oh my gosh, Taehyung." You whisper, catching his lips twitching upwards in the corner of your eye as you lean toward the screen to get a closer look. "This is… Wow. This is incredible."

"Yeah?" Taehyung says quietly. You almost feel as if he's trying not to touch your back, the ghosting heat becoming warmer before fading back to the way it was before. He was trying to put his arm around you. You barely notice this, however, too intrigued by his profound talents.

"Yes. It's almost like you're actually there! You made the exterior so much prettier, too… people will want to see this place far and wide, I promise you."

"Oh! That's not all." He exclaims, moving his arm from the back of your chair to reach towards his laptop. He's changing to another link, and yet another incredible painting comes into view.

This time, it's up on the rooftop. The same chairs and decorations from that night are painted in such a way that you can almost feel the soft, cushy couch beneath you. This is amazing because you're currently seated on probably the most uncomfortable chair you've ever had the displeasure of sitting on.

"You have such a gift." You breathe out quietly, shaking your head at the sheer beauty of his art. The art of someone so passionate, so in-depth with his creations— someone you know tries his absolute hardest to succeed. And here he is with successful projects and art pieces. "Truly."

His left hand, once hidden beneath a wooly glove, is now bare on the table, bracing himself beside the computer. Without thinking, you place your hand over his and give him a reassuring squeeze as you inspect the dotted stars across the top of the painting.

His skin burns at your touch, warm and inviting you to take his hand within yours. He's so gentle in every way; even the feel of his skin is buttery smooth and taunting you in a way that makes you utterly nervous. You attempt to move your hand away from his own, but he's quick to stop you and grab onto your ghosting grip. You can feel your heart beating wildly… he must feel your hand pulsing.

If he does, he doesn't point it out. In fact, he continues on as if nothing is happening.

"I have to be there for the opening night of the theatre…." He pauses, collecting himself with a quiet inhale. "Do you want to come with me? As my plus one?"

You nod, offering him a toothy smile. The smile that grows on your face is inevitable, and after a few seconds, your cheeks burn from the overextended joy. You don't know how Taehyung does this… even the tiniest of things give you an enormous amount of serotonin.

"Of course I do." You respond.

----

December 10th

You're trying to pay attention, truly you are.

When Taehyung offered to help you with house chores, you were eager to say yes and use him to get out of the tasks you didn't want to do: vacuuming, dusting, tidying up, etc. Cleaning is not your favorite thing in the world, but you figured with Taehyung here, it would be easier.

Boy, were you wrong.

Leave it to the two of you to get sidetracked by each other's presence. You had merely scrubbed your kitchen counter before the two of you took a break and erupted into conversation on the couch. Normally, you wouldn't mind having a genuine conversation with him… but the tingling deep within your stomach has you dazed and unable to process the words coming out of his distracting mouth.

His cologne is a bit more prominent today, and it's making your head spin in the most blissful way… it takes everything in you not to lean forward and hug him just so you can soak in it a little bit more. But that would be rude, seeing as Taehyung is trying to have a conversation with you about his teacher's feedback on his project.

"He was actually really nice about the criticism—” he chirps across from you happily, totally unaware of your struggles, “and luckily, he said there wasn't much to criticize… so I guess I won't have to change anything before opening night!"

All you can seem to do is stare at his moving lips, plump and soft— making you heated and dizzy. You continue nodding as if you understand what he's saying, but every other word that leaves his mouth is drowned out. Was this what sexual frustration felt like? If so, it was more than frustrating.

"Y/n?"

You jolt up. "Hm? What?"

He's looking at you with a confused expression, licking his lips in a way that has you cursing his habit. It was cute, you're not gonna lie... but how dare he do that when you're in the middle of a horny crisis?

"You okay?" He questions, moving his hand to the side of your arm to hold you gently, an action drenched in concern.

"Me? Yeah! I'm fine; why?" Maybe it was because you responded too quickly, or maybe it's because you're obviously blushing (judging by the heat of your face), but Taehyung's expression changes slightly before his lips lift into a knowing grin.

"What are you thinking about?" He asks teasingly, scooting towards you slowly before running his palm up and down your skin.

Geez louise...

A smile snakes its way across your lips; you shake your head. "Nothing…"

"I don't know…." He taunts, moving even closer so that the already overwhelming smell of his cologne is more flustering. You have half a mind to jump on him and finally get the attention you're craving for, but the smarter half keeps you seated and nervous within his grip. "You seem distracted."

"Not distracted at all…." But your eyes drop to his lips once more, studying the ever-growing curve of his grin, and he chuckles before finally removing the distance between the two of you and placing his smile onto your own.

You don't think you'll ever get used to this. Your heart is racing when he moves his lips against yours, scooting even closer as he wraps his arm around your waist. The want within your lower stomach grows stronger, butterflies beating their wings against your sides, and you nearly see stars when you feel his hand travel up to the side of your neck. With a gentle hum, he lays you down onto the couch, slowly and carefully, as if you're made of the finest glass.

Every time Taehyung kisses you, it feels like the two of you are the only people in the world… as if he was the only man that existed and was solely created to be with you. Every tantalizing move he makes is like a whispered secret, something only the two of you know. Truth be told, if soulmates are real— you're more than certain that you have found yours.

The only problem is that Taehyung never takes it past a certain point. Even now, as he's kissing your neck and running his hands over the sides of your stomach, you can tell that he's holding back from truly letting go. Veiny hands ghost over the bottom of your shirt, obviously itching to take it off of you, but he keeps still and settles for playing with the edges as he grinds down onto you. You've tried to say something like "it's okay" or "you can keep going," — but he refuses to do so, saying that he "wants to do it right." Which utterly confuses you.

Is this not right for him? It feels right for you.

You partly wonder if he's never done this before, and maybe he's simply too nervous… yet every move he makes seems so natural for him. As if he's done this before. As if a barrier is in place between what he truly wants— and honestly, you would bulldoze straight through it if you could.

You don't want to break his boundaries, though, so you're fine with just kissing him for now.

And so you do.

----

December 11th

It's getting even colder now in the city, almost too cold for your liking, and you're typically one to enjoy it. You enjoyed the feeling of walking in the snowfall, almost like a princess in a fairytale movie with white snowflakes falling around your moving figure. You enjoyed snowball fights with Jimin in central park and warming up inside a neighboring cafe with Taehyung so that you could complain about how much better tasting the Academia Cafes coffee was. But this cold was getting ridiculous.

People are whisking quickly past the cafe's foggy windows, frost clinging to its surface. The passersby are most likely on their journey toward home amongst the freezing temperatures, wearing irritable looks on their faces. At this point, you're wondering if you should just hail a cab back home instead of walking to the subway a mere block away.

At least you weren't alone.

Taehyung is seated on a neighboring barstool, his coffee-colored eyes stealing your attention as they scan the screen of his laptop. He's been working on final touch-ups like a dead man walking. You admire his perseverance to make it even more perfect than it already is… which to you is practically impossible, seeing as the painting looks like it was literally painted by God. Taehyung claimed that it "wasn't quite there yet" much to your surprise.

Still, you couldn't blame him for wanting to continue working on an already completed piece. You're one to continuously work on a musical theatre song, then film it two thousand times until you finally get the worthy enough take. This is probably the same situation.

You're grateful for his company… and he's been around you nearly every day since the night you kissed. Which was nothing to complain about. In fact, it made you feel safe and wanted, which is something you haven't felt in a very, very long time. He wants to pour all of his time into being with you, and sometimes, he looks at you in such a way… a way that makes your heart jump into your throat and your head fog up, and your vision blur. A look of longing. A glimpse of… misery? He looks at you like you'll disappear at any moment. It's unlike anything you've ever seen.

The soft humming of the speaker, which is seated proudly on the bar, distracts you from focusing too much on the artist in the room. The broom in your hand is also a good reminder of what you should be doing, rather than harping on him. Soon you're swaying, rhythmically sweeping to the tune of "You Matter To Me" from Waitress the musical.

You nearly forget that you're not alone when you spin around slowly, dipping lower to free a bit of pastry from beneath a chair leg. Seriously, why do people not clean up after themselves when they drop food? It's not that hard to bend over and pick it up. The trash can is literally a meter away, and these people still have the audacity to leave their food on the ground. Through your muddled thinking, you feel hands wrap around your waist before you have the chance to whisk the arrogant food into the pan. The hands are warm yet still cause you to lurch slightly as a gasp leaves your lips.

"Woah— easy." Taehyung laughs (you love his laugh), lowering his head to gently rest his chin atop your shoulder.

"You scared me." You act as if you're unamused, but you're obviously leaning back into his embrace to soak him in just a little bit further. He apologizes quietly, swaying in time with the music. Your eyes flutter closed. No matter how cliche it sounds, every moment with him is like a musical theatre scene. So perfect, so scripted-- and yet it's not scripted, so Taehyung must be a genius at making you swoon.

"Come out of hiding; I'm right here beside you…." The speaker sings.

Taehyung is quick to remove the broom from behind you and set it against a nearby table. The close proximity of his body against yours is magical, and it takes no effort from him to lift your linked hands and spin you away from him. His movements are smooth, and you have half a mind to ask him if he dances at all— but when he pulls you back in, you're unable to utter any words when your nose brushes his.

With a massive smile on his face— and you mean massive because this boy is totally patting himself on the back for aforementioned smoothness— he reaches forward to hold your waist. Within moments, he's swaying with you softly and holding you in a way that makes your stomach churn slightly…

He's going to be the death of you.

----

December 12th

You don’t see Taehyung today.

No matter how badly he wanted to hang out with you (which he made very clear when he called you in a tizzy), duty called at the theatre, and Taehyung was forced to be there early this morning.

Despite not being with you in the flesh, you’re almost embarrassed to admit that he is literally all you’ve been able to think about today. You wonder what he’s up to… what they have him working on. You wonder what he’s wearing— maybe the coat he bought with you at that old consignment store, the black one that made him look like a businessman and had you weak in the knees.

Still, looking past the fact that he’s ingrained into your thoughts, you continue with your day: doing laundry, cooking lunch to bring to Jimin, who’s working busily at the cafe, and shopping around for some decor for your apartment.

Even Jimin decided to give you a hard time when you checked the cafe for the familiar dark-headed artist.

“This is what they call the honeymoon phase.” Jimin coos, handing you a warm caramel latte with a smirk. When will the day come when Jimin doesn’t tease you over something you have absolutely no control over? That is a question for the ages. And he has the time of his life doing so… judging by the ever-growing smirk on his face when the blush sinks deep into your cheeks.

Jimin might’ve been right.

Even folding your laundry reminded you of him. Reminded you of the night he took you to the laundromat to pick up your clothes and helped you fold them. Lucky you, it was just jeans and t-shirts… if Taehyung had seen anything else, you think you would’ve crawled into one of those laundry machines and tried to spin yourself out of your misery.

It was almost embarrassing how much you missed him.

You shouldn’t be feeling this way when the two of you literally just connected in a romantic way, should you? You shouldn’t feel like you’ve known him all your life when you had barely even begun your relationship…

It was weird and sudden-- yet so familiar.

----

December 13th

The last thing you were expecting this morning was a phone call from Taehyung, bright and early, lighting upon your face as soon as the clock hits nine in the morning. If it were anybody else, you probably would've thrown your phone across the room and dove back into the dreamy state you had been awoken from-- but this was Taehyung, so the only thing you were throwing was yourself towards the alerting device.

"Hello?" You voice groggily, clearing your throat as you wince at the rude reminder that you literally just woke up.

"Wow, good morning." Taehyung chuckles over the line, and you're pretty close to punching him through the phone for making fun of you, but the sweet sound of his laugh distracts you. "Did you just wake up?"

"... Maybe."

"Ahhh, and here I thought you were a morning person! Guess I was wrong." You can hear the smirk in his voice. A faint sound of cars honking is heard in the background, diverting you from your feigned annoyance... Was he out of the house this early? Bless his soul.

"Where are you?" You question, finally propping yourself up against your headboard.

"Out and about running some errands." You can hear his footsteps across the snow, quiet crunching in the background playing like a soothing lullaby, nearly lulling you back to sleep. "We have plans today."

And suddenly, you're wide awake.

"We?"

"You and me." He explains.

A smile grows onto your face as you play with your duvet bedding, containing the relieved sigh at the thought of seeing him again. Even now, your brain revolves around him in the most pathetic way… but you don't mind that much.

At your hesitation, Taehyung breaks the silence once more.

"Are you busy?" He questions anxiously, his frozen footsteps faltering over the line like a sad child who was denied hot chocolate. You can hear the pout in his voice, and it nearly makes you laugh… the desperation seems mutual. "That's totally okay if you are... I just thought we could go on an official date today."

You hide your smile behind your hand and collect yourself enough to respond, feigning nonchalance. "The other days haven't been dates?"

"… They weren't official. This is official." He states, the creaking of a door in the background piquing your interest in what he has planned… Did all his running around and preparation have to do with your date today? What is he planning? "We can do it another day if—"

You jolt up. "No! No— mm, no. I was just joking around."

"Good," he responds, the smile and childlike excitement fully evident in his voice. Honestly, you can't remember the last time someone was this excited to see you… and it wraps around your heart like a heated blanket. "Get ready! I'll pick you up at two!"

You're really not a fan of heights. Actually, scratch that; you've never been a fan of heights. The last time you can remember being high above the ground was back in middle school when you climbed a reasonably small mountain during a field trip, and you nearly blacked out when they took you to the final overlook. You couldn't imagine people willingly coming this far above the ground to marvel at the views, seeing as the views nearly made you sick to your stomach.

Maybe it's because Taehyungs with you that you agree to visit the Summit One Vanderbilt. It towers over the city at an appalling height of 1,401 feet tall— and they expect you to enjoy the views. Truth be told, you were definitely not enjoying the view as you stood and stared up at the building from the sidewalk, the lump in your throat threatening to eat you alive. You're basically the filet mignon on the menu.

Again, maybe it's because Taehyung is with you that you agree to go. Maybe it's because you didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of him by being a total chicken and backing out of his request. Which, much to your disappointment (mostly in yourself), is obviously not working when you cling to his jacket through your thick gloves— scooting the tiniest bit closer to him in the already cramped elevator. Right at this moment, you're praying not only to live but also for your will to live. If you turn even the tiniest bit, you'd be able to see the elevator view going up and up and up— continuously moving like a flowing river even though you wish with every ounce of your being to reach the top already.

"You're doing great." Taehyung whispers, an evident smile in his voice as he wraps an arm around you and pulls you into his neckline. He's holding your head to hide you from glancing at the height— and you know that your cover is blown.

"Not really fond of heights.” You voice quietly, muffled words spoken into the jacket gracing his shoulders, embarrassed to even admit it when you've already come this far. No way you're backing out now.

Still, Taehyung holds you tighter, and you can feel him suppressing a laugh before he whispers gently, the faintest wind from his voice blowing a speck of your fear away.

"I know."

You have to give Taehyung credit for his efforts. He's slowly guiding you out of the elevator when the damned thing finally decides to stop rising into the clouds. Your eyes are still frozen shut in fear, but the warm palms around your shoulders are keeping you grounded… but not actually grounded because you're thousands of feet in the sky.

Stop reminding yourself that you're thousands of feet in the sky!

The farther he takes you, the more curious you get— but despite this fact, your eyes still refuse to open. The view must be horrifying.

"Okay, gotta be careful here cause there's a huge hole in the floor." Taehyung voices quietly, his hands gripping onto you. "Just take a laaarge step; it'll be fine."

And that's when your eyes suddenly fly open; your need to be in control of the current situation is sullying your stubbornness— cause no way in hell are you letting Taehyung lead you over a cliff. Not that you think he would lead you off purposefully, but accidents happen! You shriek aloud, faltering backward into his chest and away from the aforementioned hole… which seems to not exist. Your face is staring back at you through the glass floors, which are completely flawless in design. And that's when you see Taehyung's body shaking behind you in silent laughter.

It takes a moment for your heart to beat again, but as soon as you've regained some of your sanity, you elbow him in the gut. "That is not funny!" You whine, shoving his hands off of your shoulders when he finally lets out a peal of laughter.

And that's when you look up.

Holy– okay, this is high up.

The room is an echo of mirrors and glass windows, making you slightly dizzy as you glance around the room at different versions of yourself and a view unlike anything you've ever seen. At the very top of the city, towering over the hundreds of buildings and thousands of people that are probably whisking away along the streets, you feel like a tiny ant. A tiny, little ant that keeps getting stepped on… but nonetheless finds the solace of a crevice. A crevice to hide in. A hand to hold.

And he's looking at you fondly as you marvel at the view… partly scared and partly in awe. He's looking at you and not the view in front of him… as if this is something he gets to see every day, which you know is not the truth. When you meet his coffee-brown eyes, they hold something within them… something that whispers the softest of I love yous. Something that makes your insides turn out. Something that feels so familiar– and it only takes you a moment to break eye contact out of fear of awkwardness.

Nonetheless, you can still feel his eyes on you.

"From up here, the difficulties we face seem so minuscule, don't they?" He questions, finally turning his attention towards a flock of birds flying across the sky.

You hum in agreement.

The Rockefeller Center is lit up in bright Christmas lights, the snow that softly descends above you dancing within its fluorescence like ballerinas on the stage. At any other time, you would be in awe by the colors around you and watching the light show unfold… but…

"Good! Now, glide, Taehyung. On the ice. Let's go."

To you, it seemed as if Taehyung was good at everything. He was handsome, talented, kind, funny, and every piece of him reminded you of how lucky you are to have him by your side. But right now…He was embarrassing himself by clinging to the side of the ice rink walls.

Maybe he wasn't good at everything.

"I'm gonna fall." He whines like a toddler, holding out his shaking gloved hand when you ask him to reach for you. You can't help the chuckle that bubbles within your throat, and Taehyung can obviously tell that you're amused with his struggles. "Stop laughing!"

His plea just makes you laugh more, doubling over as you attempt to catch your breath with quiet "sorrys" and "I'll stop, I'll stops," nonetheless continuing to sputter out giggles.

"Come on, Tae. Hold my hand." You say softly, the aching smile on your cheeks never faltering as you see his brows knit in concentration. "I won't let you fall, so grab onto me."

You aren't a pro ice skater either, but you've gone ice skating quite a few times and absolutely adored every single moment of it— especially growing up. Your family had a river that froze over every winter, and there was no wall to cling to there, so naturally, you had to learn pretty quickly.

Taehyung huffs, digging his leg closer to you as he shakily releases one hand from the wall, reaching for your own. You can't help but smile at the notion that he brought you here because you said that you liked ice skating. Even though the poor guy could barely get two feet in the rink.

"You're so close! Come on, a little more." You wheeze, unable to help yourself since he looks like a newly birthed giraffe attempting to eat grass, all long limbs stretched out in heated frustration.

"This is hard." He grunts.

"I believe in you."

"I don't believe in myself, y/n."

"You're so close, Tae. Look how close you are! You're doing great, just un-cling yourself from the wall, please and thank you."

"This is the worst moment of my life."

He looks ridiculous…. ridiculously adorable.

When he finally places his gloved hand within yours, you forcefully pull him away from the wall, sending his beautiful face into deep-rooted shock and fear as he holds onto you like a lifeline, attempting to find his footing on the ice as skaters pass the two of you in a flurry. Gotta hand it to him; at least he's off the wall now. Baby steps.

"See," you smile, "you did it." He's glaring at you with snowflake flurries in the dark sea of his hair. His attempt to look angry is squashed by the pure innocence of his appearance. You gently brush them away with your free glove and give him a smile. "You're gonna be a pro-skater in no time."

"You're mean." He whines, but nonetheless, he can't hide the smile on his own face.

Holding Taehyung's hand while you drag him across the ice is most likely the highlight of your day– seeing as you expected to be the one getting dragged, but now you feel somewhat powerful. With legs as frigid as the ice beneath, he slowly begins to skate in the least proportional way possible. You smile at his efforts. He's doing great.

Well, he was doing great, up until the point where said frigid legs decided to give out and topple you to the iced floor. The two of you convulse with laughter, breathing out into the night air of the ice rink as you stare up at the sky with toothy grins. For a moment, the nearby skaters who have to swerve to not run you over don’t matter. For a moment you can appreciate his company as you feel his gloved hand reach its way towards yours.

It’s only until he shuffles beside you that he breaks your resolve.

“C’mon! We’ll be late!” He laughs, attempting to stand but ultimately falling back down. When you question what you’re going to be late for, Taehyung merely smiles.

Within an hour, you're sitting from the top of the ice to the front row before a stage, lights dimming gently as Taehyung taps his feet beside you to the pre-show music. You're holding a playbill in your hand, the paper adorned with pink letters that glisten in the faint light of the theatre. "Waitress," they read. Not only did Taehyung dance with you to one of the songs the other night, but he also bought tickets to see said song live.

You’ve been wanting to see Waitress for a long time. You listened to the entire score in a day and were bursting with excitement upon knowing it was returning to Broadway– but money was tight, thus being the reason why you’ve never bought tickets. Now, as you hold tight to the ticket in your hand, you can feel your chest erupting in excitement. Taehyung's proud smile is still gracing his features when you stop to take a picture of the two of you with the playbill.

Oh my gosh, you bet these were expensive.

You shove down your worry, trying to remember how grateful you are to be spending so much time with him (especially time spent in a theatre) before you leave. Until then, you'll be happy to sit beside him as the music chimes, and the show begins.

Sugar.

Sugar, butter.

Sugar, butter, flour.

Within moments you're the little kid within you again, eyes gleaming as they stare at the art taking place on the stage— and you can feel Taehyung's hand slide into yours, ever so gently. You turn to face him, a smile present on your lips, and he's smiling back at you with admiration gracing his eyes. Every time he looks at you, it's as if you're some art piece that he loves— that sits in an exhibition specifically for him.

For a moment, you think this is the happiest you've ever been.

And then, you see the unwelcoming sight of your apartment door. The wreath that hangs upon the outside does nothing to sully your newfound bad mood. Why do good days have to come to an end? Why can't we live inside of those good days, bundle up and cuddle within its warmth without the cold bite of tomorrow sneaking in?

Why, oh why do you have to leave in three days?

You know the reason why… and you're excited, absolutely. But the thought of leaving the person whose hand is holding your own is starting to leave a bad taste in your mouth. Why does it feel as if you're never going to see him again when you know you'll see him tomorrow?

Leave it to Taehyung to steal any bad tastes from your mouth and replace it with the sweetness of his kiss. It's gentle and soft, all-encompassing as he runs his gloved hand up and down your back. So comforting. This comfort makes you bold as you deepen the kiss, and pretty soon, Taehyung is slowly backing you up against the door. He takes your lower lip between his teeth.

You know this will only last for a moment; you know that he'll end up saying no; still, you can't help yourself.

"Do you want to come inside?" You ask hesitantly between kisses, key at the ready to open that door and beckon his figure through it. Much to your disappointment, Taehyung pauses. Why is he so against taking another step in your relationship? "I can make us some hot cocoa… maybe a movie or something?"

It's another moment of silence before his shoulders drop along with your heart. "I don't think that would be the best idea… I mean, I have to prepare for the opening of the theatre tomorrow night, and I think a good night's sleep is needed." Unable to hide his desperation, Taehyung's eyes linger on your door for a touch longer before he removes himself from your embrace. "Big day tomorrow."

"Huge day, yeah." You agree.

And with a small apology and a goodbye kiss, Taehyung's warmth disappears through the doors.

----

December 14th

Honk, honk!

The abruptness of the rather boisterous sound causes your cream heels to pause before crossing the street, cars whizzing past in a flurry of bright yellow taxis and other colors of the rainbow. If it weren't for the sound of the horn, you would've been hit by the cab whose driver seems to be flipping you off as he continues down the street. He's the one who nearly hit you, yet here he was giving you the middle finger?

Classy.

You straighten up your curled hair, taking a deep breath before releasing your cloud into the crisp of the air. The cream-colored dress that hugs at your waist and falls just below your knees is doing nothing to keep you warm, golden sparkles shimmering in the city lights. A trail of golden leaves dance across its surface, gathering at the top so your neckline and shoulders are smothered with leaves. Luckily, the white double-breasted jacket keeps the chill from nipping too harshly.

With the time it takes to cross the road and the harsh winter winds lapping at your exposed legs, you're starting to regret telling Taehyung that he didn't have to pick you up. Who told the weather that it could be this cold? Still, you worm your way through the cars and finally reach the entrance of Kim's Theatre.

It's as beautiful as you remember it being, only now the sparkling golden party decorations add to its glamour. Gold was an exceptional theme choice.

You feel as if you don't belong here… everyone around you is walking inside in ballgowns and things you'd seen only on the red carpet— outfits you could only dream of affording. They all look beautiful– and now the golden leaf that holds the left side of your hair back and away from your face feels like a childish style choice. Why didn't you choose something more mature? Did you look like a child? Should you go home?

"Ma'am?" The voice that calls your name distracts you for a mere moment. It's the theatre's doorman. "You better come inside. It's only going to get colder!"

It is freezing. And you're not here to worry about your style choice; you're here to support Taehyung. With this change in mindset, you take a deep breath and nod to the awaiting doorman.

Walking through the doors is almost like walking through a fairytale novel; every twinkling light and golden array of decoration is increasing your excitement. The second entrance is decked out with golden and white balloons, strings of silver falling over the door like a hidden entrance to the fairytale world. There are more people inside than outside (which you can’t say you’re surprised about due to the weather), and they stand conversing when you enter. One of them throws you a glance, but immediately delves back into the neighboring conversation. Despite the feeling of not belonging, you're grateful you're here; you're grateful that you're here to support Taehyung; you're grateful that he's looking at you as if you're the star of this night the second you walk into the lobby.

His lips are parted at the sight of you. Maybe pinching yourself would be a good idea because geez Louise, is he handsome. Before tonight, you never really understood the hype of a man in a suit. So what if someone got all dressed up? All suits look the same anyway. But now… a suit on Taehyung is making you weak in the knees.

"Hey." He says, almost nervously. You can't help but smile.

"Hey." You respond.

His eyes run along the leaves scattered across your neckline and shoulders. He smiles softly. "You look incredible."

And just like that, every doubt that you had while walking into the building disappears through the door and out into the chilly air. It's unwelcome at this party. Especially since Taehyung is looking at you as if you're the best-dressed woman here— which is totally untrue.

Nonetheless, a quiet "thank you" leaves your lips before he's grasping your hand with his own and leading you to a neighboring group of people.

More men in suits. Nothing compared to Taehyung, but you know who these men are: directors and actors from the theatre world. The nerves within your stomach are starting to grow, and when a waiter passes by with glasses of champagne, you're quick to grab one. You're gonna need some encouragement to get you through this conversation. Plus, champagne is classy! So maybe you'd look more presentable while drinking it.

"Excuse me, Mr. Kim?" Taehyung voices, drawing the attention of the men before you.

A tall, dimpled man in glasses is quick to raise his head, his smile growing at the sight of Taehyung. They must know each other pretty well now, seeing as Taehyung has been here multiple times a week to draw the theatre.

"Kim Namjoon, this is my girlfriend, Y/n Y/l/n."

The room spins for a moment when you hear the word "girlfriend" spill naturally from Taehyung's lips, and you have to mind yourself before your champagne glass can tip over. He's looking at you fondly, unabashed, pulling you slightly in front of him and presenting you to his colleague.

Yet, all you can think is: he just called you his girlfriend. AHH!!

"Y/n, I've heard so much about you." Kim Namjoon smiles warmly, holding his hand out to shake yours. Before he can utter another word, Jimin is quick to intrude himself into the conversation, grabbing Taehyung's attention.

"I am so sorry to interrupt, but there's a couple here who wants to talk about your drawing, Taehyung." He voices, quickly offering you a smile— you can tell that he's holding back from jumping up and down with you at the fact that you're here and with Kim Namjoon. Much to scream about later over hours worth of a phone call. "You'd better go and talk to them."

Taehyung nods before turning to you.

"Will you be alright?"

To be honest, you don't know how to answer that question. You want him to do what he needs to do without worrying about your well-being, but at the same time, you have half a mind that you'll crumble within seconds of being alone with a group of theatre prodigies.

Get it together, Y/n. This is Taehyungs night.

"Of course, go go!" You whisper excitedly, pushing him towards Jimin, who drags him through the crowd and out of your sight. His gaze never leaves yours until he's turning the corner, offering you a small wave and apologetic eyes.

Namjoon breaks the silence. "He's a wonderful artist."

"He's immensely talented." You agree, turning back to the man whose dimpled smile shines brightly on his face. "And a wonderful person, too."

He laughs. "He's also quite the boaster. He never stops talking about how immensely talented you are. I must say, after listening to you sing, I highly agree with him."

You must be pale in the face. "You've heard me sing?"

"Taehyung likes to play videos of you singing while he draws— it's the only thing he listens to, quite frankly. At least when he's here. He's convinced practically everyone in the theatre to listen to you."

Videos of you singing? Multiple videos? When did Taehyung take videos of you singing? You pause for a moment, taking a glance at your champagne to remind yourself that Kim Namjoon is talking to you, and you should probably answer before it becomes awkward.

He speaks again before you have the chance.

"You have a wonderful voice… one that should be recognized." He states as a matter of fact, nodding before he takes a sip of champagne.

That's the moment you remember who got you the audition in London in the first place… the man standing directly in front of you.

"I— oh my gosh, I can't thank you enough for giving me the opportunity to audition in London." You shake your head, excitement bubbling in your chest. "It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so I sincerely thank you."

Namjoon raises his hand, brushing off your thanks. "No need to thank me. Your talent got you that audition."

"I wouldn't have been able to audition if it weren't for you." You insist.

"I wouldn't have heard you sing if it weren't for Taehyung— so really, you should be thanking him and his love for you. He's very vocal about your talent… and very vocal about wanting you to succeed." Namjoon smiles, taking another sip. Little does he know, your head is spinning at his words.

You should be thanking him and his love for you.

"Y/n!"

With a quick turn of your gaze, the same Taehyung who's occupying your thoughts is making his way across the lobby and grabbing onto your hand. His words are almost a blur to you— you can barely think straight.

"Sorry to interrupt," he apologizes, offering Namjoon a smile. "Do you mind if I steal her from you?"

Taehyung stands beside you in front of his drawing while holding your hand. Onlookers pass by with pleased expressions, studying his art before carrying on with their journey around the theatre. The room smells of champagne and vanilla, with a mix of the woodsy cologne that is sunk into the lapels of Taehyung's suit. Your head is still spinning from the previous conversation with the theater owner, and his scent does nothing to calm you down…

Did Taehyung tell Namjoon that he loves you?

Taehyung must not notice your inner overthinking, too busy conversing with guests and talking about his work. It's only until you hear your name brought up in a conversation that you come back to reality.

"Y/n is an incredible singer. No doubt she'll be on this stage soon!" Taehyung expresses confidently, giving your hand a squeeze.

"You'll have to make her sing for us someday soon!" A woman in her thirties responds, casting you a glance with a gentle smile. "We'd love to hear your voice!"

You smile in return with a quick "thank you," a hint of bashfulness sneaking its way into your bones. It was one thing for Taehyung to talk about you— but truth be told, the last thing you wanted to do was talk about yourself. Taehyung made it look easy, seeing as he brought your voice up in conversations with nearly every guest who stopped to admire his work.

It wasn't until everyone was asked to be seated that he finally halts his boasting and walks you towards your seats. Front row seats. Center stage. The red curtain hides the magic beyond, staring at you in the face and making your excitement rise.

Within minutes, the theatre is open and a symphony is playing a medley of all different art pieces in theatre. Wicked, Phantom of the Opera, Guys and Dolls, My Fair Lady, and even mixing in modern works such as Hadestown, Dear Evan Hansen, and more. Every time you'd sit up straighter at the sound of a familiar tune, Taehyung would steal a glance at you. He's running his thumb along the skin of your hand.

The night is magical, yes, but it's nothing compared to the magic that is seated beside you. Which sounds cliche- extremely cliche,you realize - but it couldn't be more true.

Your feet hurt. Damn those cream heels. Taehyung had offered to take a cab with you back home, just to make sure you got in okay— but you insisted that you walk. You didn't want him spending money on you and truth be told, the theatre wasn't too far, so you weren't about to spend money on a cab either.

This night was everything you dreamed it would be. The music is still thrumming in your bones and it's almost as if you can still hear the violins singing in your ears. You're so proud of Taehyung and his accomplishments, he deserved this. He earned the recognition. He deserves to be happy… and judging by the toothy grin on his face, you would assume that the night was everything he dreamed it would be as well.

"Thank you for coming with me," Taehyung speaks into the night. You don't know why he's thanking you, seeing as he was the one who invited you to a party filled with people you've dreamed of meeting for years. Younger you who played Little Red Riding Hood in Into The Woods used to daydream about a night like this– a night filled with sparkly lights and surrounded by people you looked up to. The only thing missing was your favorite Broadway actor, Jeremy Jordan, kissing you on the cheek and confessing his love for you…

You could care less about Jeremy now.

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world." You smile, dipping to slide your smaller hand into his.

It's quiet for a moment, the two of you lost in thought as you make your way down, avoiding tourists who ooh and ahh at the Gershwin Theatre nearby. Finally, Taehyung breaks the comfortable silence.

"What time are you leaving for the airport tomorrow?" Something in his voice sounds like he doesn't want to hear your answer.

"Eight in the morning." You respond, your own tone of disappointment seeping through.

He clears his throat, turning his eyes to see someone walking up to their apartment building. His hand feels colder. His breathing is kind of uneven. For a second, you think he might be on the verge of a panic attack before he asks something unexpected.

"Can you go another day?"

You smile at the notion that he doesn't want you gone just yet, squeezing his hand tightly in your excitement-

"Like maybe you can catch a flight tonight? I can drive you there right now."

Oh.

Now you're confused.

With your sudden silence, Taehyung turns his head in your direction. You're staring straight forward, gathering the thoughts that he sent running across the city. If he doesn't want you to stay, why would he mention changing the flight date? Why would he want you to leave sooner? This makes no sense.

Is he not happy with you? Did you do something tonight that bothered him?

"Y/n." He cuts off your ragged thoughts. "If I could convince you to stay, I would… but I know this is your dream, and I want you to chase it." His eyes are glossy, the lights of the city reflecting in the coffee brown hues. He continues, his voice is shaking slightly (must be because of the cold). "But I think there's gonna be some bad weather tomorrow and maybe tonight would be a… safer bet?"

Bad weather? You didn't see anything on the radar? You've been checking the news often to ensure this flight wouldn't get delayed. You're already a worrywart when it comes to flying, so of course you would make sure that nothing would make you attempt to crawl out of the aircraft. You don't remember hearing anything about disruptive weather.

"I've been up to date with the news, though - I haven't heard anything about the weather?"

Still, you pull out your golden-cased phone (because of course you had to buy a case for the occasion) and check the weather. Clear skies. Which you show to Taehyung, but he seems unconvinced.

"I just– heard something, I don't know."

He's acting weird.

"Is something wrong?" You question softly, halting your footprints from butchering the snow's crystallized surface. Taehyung stops for a moment, unable to turn his gaze to you. The cloud that proves that he's breathing pauses, then continues, then pauses again. Was something actually wrong? Over the course of your relationship, you've found that you're extremely good at reading people… or is it that Taehyung just sucks at hiding his feelings?

Finally, he turns to you, a smile present on his face as he shakes his head– you try to stop your brain from realizing how ethereal he looks; now is not the time.

"Nothings wrong. I just want to make sure you're safe."

He's lying. You know it, but nonetheless, you don't question him further, pressing a hesitant kiss on his cheek to reassure yourself.

----

December 15th

With the last pair of socks (reindeer socks) stuffed deeply into your suitcase pocket, making you question if you would be able to close this thing, you finally finish packing for London. If you were excited last night, it's nothing compared to right now. Your heart has been doing backflips, unable to control your overwhelming elation and flooded thoughts. Your life is going to change tomorrow. You're auditioning for a West End production. Even though you know this is true, you still feel as if you're dreaming.

You would be lying if you said that you weren't sad to leave Taehyung… not being able to see him every day was not going to feel good, especially since you finally got over yourselves and outwardly confessed your feelings. It was going to be weird not having him there with you. Taehyung hasn't texted you since last night, which is unlike him… and you're trying so hard not to let it get to you. Especially since you already have enough to worry about. Still, you kind of hoped he would bring you to the airport to say goodbye.

Before you let it ruin your mood, you stuff yet another pair of socks into the overflowing suitcase before deciding that you're actually done. You could never have enough socks anyway.

Wheeling your suitcase toward the door, you turn to look back into your quiet and small apartment. The mustard yellow couch (which you thought would look extremely ugly but ended up being the best furniture choice in your entire apartment) sits vacantly, magazines rest on your kitchen counter, and the plant that Jimin had gifted to you last night once the opening was over stands proudly in the windowsill.

You remember the way Jimin bounced in front of you with the unwrapped present, explaining that the yellow color of the flowers meant “success” with an unbeatable sense of pride. You're going to miss everything about being in New York.

It's only a month. You'll be okay.

Taehyung's voice greets your thoughts; a memory from last night when he dropped you off at your door pops into your head.

"You're going to do amazing things…." He had said, a warm smile sitting on those lips you already missed. "And you're going to see me sitting in the front row at your first Broadway show… I promise."

You smile gently at the memory, remembering the feeling of his lips on yours before you pushed him down the hallway and out the door. He would've stayed on your doorstep all night if you hadn't.

With newfound confidence, you reach for the door handle and open the door.

And suddenly you're frozen, suitcase in hand.

Hazy, red-rimmed watery brown eyes are staring back at you, a shaking fist elevated as if he was going to knock on your door at any given moment. Taehyung is wearing the same suit he wore to the opening yesterday, his hair mussed up as he studies your concerned expression.

Did he… Did he not leave last night?

"Taehyung, what are you-"

"Don't go."

Your eyes skim up, glancing into his. They're wide, you notice… almost desperate. The more you stare, the more you realize just how red they are, shaking with the quivering of his lips. You swear you can hear your heart breaking…

"What's going on? Is everything okay?" You question.

Taehyung shakes his head slowly, releasing a deep breath that you think he's been holding all night. Honestly, you're starting to get a little freaked out… Did something happen when he tried to go home last night? Is he breaking up with you? Oh gosh, maybe he is breaking up with y—

"Please don't go." He repeats.

You study his eyes, trying to see if they're speaking words more than his mouth is… all you can see is deep-rooted fear and desperation. You're confused.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Just— please, do not get on that plane and just stay here for another few days." His voice is hushed as he's moving his way through your doorway and gently stealing your suitcase from within your hand.

Despite the tears that hug at his lash line, you can't help but feel the tiniest bit of amusement at his babbling. You know you're going to miss him while you're gone… but-

"Are you gonna miss me that much?" You smile, sinking closer to him as you place your hands on his shoulders. "Do you like me that much?"

You wish you could say that he's smiling back at you, but truth be told, this is the most serious expression you've seen on his beautiful face.

He's quick to respond. "This isn't about that…." He's also quick to remove your hands from his shoulders, backing you farther away from the door and towards the couch. He looks even more terrified in close proximity and it’s easy to register the beating of his heart, fast and heavy, between your linked hands.

Something is seriously wrong.

"What's going on?" You question hesitantly, your smile vanishing from your face.

"Just don't go, okay? You have to trust me on this." He begs with a choked up voice, glancing at your bag before removing it from your shoulder with now quick and frazzled hands. Stopping him before he can remove it completely, you grab the sides of his face.

"Hey, hey— stop. You have to tell me what's going on." You speak firmly. That's the moment you feel your heart drop to the floor... because his body is shaking hard between your palms. It nearly has you dropping everything and obeying his every plea… but your stubbornness is quick to step in. "I'm gonna be late for my flight, Tae. I've got to- "

He cuts you off. "I just don't think this is a good idea. It probably won't turn out the way that you want it to."

You're dumbfounded. Is he saying you're not gonna make it?

"Wha-" You laugh humorlessly, letting your bag drop to the crook of your elbow. "What?"

"Maybe it's just better to stay here."

The one person who's been rooting for you this entire time is suddenly deciding to take back everything he said?

"You've been pushing me since the moment we met to follow my dreams, and now you're telling me that it probably won't work out?" You scoff, eyebrows cinching in confusion.

He winces openly, his eyes squeezing shut. "I- No. That's not what I'm saying—"

"Then what are you saying exactly?"

The volume of your voice is getting louder, obviously catching Taehyung off guard since he pauses for a moment with nervous eyes, mouth hanging open. You don’t know what he’s trying to get out of this, but the desperation on his face is prominent as a single tear falls down his cheek.

Don't give in, Y/n. He's being an asshole.

"I just think it's smarter to stay here." He repeats.

And for you, that's not good enough. You're quick to pick your stuff up, hoisting your bag back onto your shoulder as you move Taehyung backward towards the door. He’s attempting to stop you, but the suitcase greets your hands once he's in the doorway. No way in hell were you not going. What is he even on about? Why is he being like this?

"Why are you being like this?"

"I'm trying to protect you." You try to ignore the tears in his eyes as he stares at you hopelessly, his hands attempting to reach for your suitcase before you roll it away from his pursuit with a scoff.

"Taehyung." You say shortly. "Move."

Yet when you try to move past him, he doesn't budge an inch, and he's gripping onto the sides of the doorway like a traffic barricade. Preventing you from dangers that probably don't exist. Your patience is wearing thin.

"Move."

Nothing.

"Move!"

He cracks. "No— No! I can't lose you again!"

This has your stubbornness wavering. You can't remember the last time you saw someone so worked up… so scared. Still, his comment throws you.

"What do you mean again?" You question, confusion tugging at your facial features when Taehyung goes completely silent.

He's staring at you. Standing still. Staring at you in a way that takes you back to the first day you met him at the cafe. The day he looked like he saw a ghost. The day you were scared of him and thought he was some kind of insane person… But now? Now, he's genuinely crumbling. Now he looks like a lost child asking for help, begging to find his home again.

That's when he breaks down.

With his arms reaching around you, pulling you into his chest, Taehyung releases a quiet cry. A sound you never wanted to hear. His whole body is shaking, quivering in your hold as you attempt to soothe him with a hesitant hand on his back. Still, he's clinging to you like a lifeline, gripping onto every last fragment of you that he can.

It's even becoming difficult to breathe.

"Please…" He cries. "Please don't go."

"Tae…" You speak softly, unable to focus on the time when he's crying harshly into your jacket-covered shoulder. He’s not just crying over you leaving. No, this is something more. "What the hell is going on?"

He removes himself, tears streaming down his face as he holds you by your shoulders. It takes everything in you not to bring him back into the hug… to dry his tears and tell him that everything's going to be okay. Now, you're not so sure.

"Listen," he sniffs, "I have no clue what's going on. I've been so confused since I saw you in the cafe again. That wasn’t the first time I met you and all I know is that you can't get on that plane because it will crash and you will die, so I need you to just stay here for a couple more days, please."

The plane will crash? You'll die? Your confusion only doubles as you try to remain calm; you don't want to call him a liar— but this is so unrealistic that it nearly makes you laugh out loud. Does he think you're stupid? Naive?

"How the hell would you know?" You question.

He pauses, the nervous habit of licking his lower lip returning. You're confused, angry, annoyed, and concerned all at once-- and here he is, being quiet as a mouse, unable to utter the explanation you so desperately want to hear.

"Taehyung-"

"Because I've lived this day before." He blurts.

Now you're quiet, your mind completely jumbled as you try to understand the words coming out of his mouth. Everything he's saying is making no sense… Nonetheless, he continues.

"I don't know how but I–" He shakes his head, red-rimmed eyes falling to the floor. "God, I'm living this nightmare all over again."

Confusion is an understatement.

"What are you saying?" You ask.

"Y/n…" He's now looking at you, his lips trembling as he attempts to catch his breath. It's as if everything he's been holding back from saying is nipping at the back of his teeth, hounding its way to his lips, and trying to escape through his mouth.

And then, he lets go.

"I’m a time traveler."

next chapter (coming soon…)

tag list:

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[fleurlia]

here is part two of this.

[7:13 pm] for all the phases you have been through in the past few months, all of them were disastrous. a couple of months after jeno has told you about his proposal karina and he appears with new rings, explaining to everyone how both just choose to make things more swiftly and not wait until graduation.

you already knew it but that didn't stop you from spending at least twenty minutes crying pathetically in the ladies' room.

certainly when you thought things couldn't get any worse, believe me, they did. you were convinced for the moment karina asked you to help her choose the dress. again, you couldn't blame anyone against yourself.

renjun and donghyuck stood next to you, holding their laughs as she was asking for help in the most loving way. just for when she was gone the duo were shouting loud and attempting to comfort your poor heart. following that, you saw yourself sat there watching karina trying on more than a thousand wedding dresses, for getting married to the love of your life.

it would be easier to hate her if she was a bitch and 20% less attractive. you thought.

and talking about him, you couldn't even hold his gaze without looking weepy and bitter. your friendship existed only by devices, which you believed would be turned off the moment he said yes to her.

after a year of planning and torture, the big day has arrived and even though you have created every possible excuse, none seemed good enough to not going to your best friend's wedding. including a sweet smile, your mom comforted you as you got ready for the wedding, holding up tears and making yourself at least looking attractive on the worst day of your life. you asked more than once for your mother to be merciful and to fake an accident but she keeps telling you how could you get over it if you didn't see "the dead body".

instructed to stay at least a few minutes late, you made everything possible to be delayed. not wanting to arrive and have to deal with the reception and face the bride and groom. not craving to deal with the fact that if you held more than five seconds alone with jeno, you would presumably tell him the truth that was stuck in your throat. then when you arrive everyone was already at the ceremony, your entry causing a small noise that drew attention. jeno's eyes catching yours immediately.

the couple looking supremely beautiful, like always. the dress that karina and you have picked just not fits her but makes everyone around her look poorly ugly. oh my god, i hate myself so much. that was the only thing going through your mind.

sitting down next to renjun, he sends you a glance. "it's almost ended, i thought you were not coming."

"as if i were that lucky"

he chuckles but gently takes your hands. even though you said more than a thousand times that you didn't want anyone feeling sorry for you, he tried his best to make things a little better.

while the minutes started to grow, your mind stopped a few more every time that ceremony got close for the "yes". holding up every tear you possess in your body, you almost failed as the old lady next to you smile in your direction and whispered;

"what are you from the groom??"

"i... i am his best friend, since freshman year at college."

"oh, that's why he is looking right here all the time."

quietly you agreed with her, not even daring yourself to look up and catch all of his stares. the moments pass with you staring to anywhere, you couldn't even look at them without feeling your chest squeeze in sharp pain.

"so lee jeno, do you take this woman as your wife to lover her, respect her, and looking for her?"

wishing to not stand there or even existed, you were close to starting to crying but renjun squeezed your hands and all that people heard at next was; "yes, i do."

lee jeno, the love of your life just got married... but it's was not whit you.

later on, — this including the time you spent crying and sobbing in the car — you were supposed to go to the celebration and that's is what you did as a supportive friend.

the first hour was going like a blink, you have to pretend so much happiness that the idea of the newlyweds just got blanked out of your mind. it was the last straw when jeno's sister approached you with a gentle smile, you could feel her pity just by the look on her face and you felt even more miserable when she said it in a low tone: ''i always thought that on a day like today, you would be my new sister.''

that hurt so much.

the rest of the night passed like a blur, a slow and painful blur. you had taken so many pictures and you were sure that you looked ridiculous in the picture with the bride and groom, donghyuck and renjun were there to support you but your false happiness was quickly destroyed by jeno's stares.

almost at the end of the celebration, everyone full of the food and tired from the dancing, people decided it was time for the speeches and in the crowd of invited people you hid behind your friends. if by any chance the universe hated you that much you would be chosen to give some words and you were ready to make a whole speech based on rose's in "love, rosie". it would be tragic.

karina's mother said beautiful words to the couple and praised jeno so much that you at that moment felt happy for him. many relatives passed by, all of them talking about how perfect they were for each other and at end wishing them happiness. you felt like a jealousy bitch at every second.

almost at the end of all your torture, you already agreed that renjun or one of his friends would take you home because you didn't even want to talk, it was the newlyweds' turn to speak. karina sounded so perfectly in love with every word she spoke out. you were thankful to be far away from the couple because your stomach flipped as you watched jeno stand up, straightening his suit and black hair.

you were about to get up and walk away, not wanting to hear about how much he loved her and was grateful to be married to her but after a second thought, you knew you would draw pitying and pitiful glances in your direction.

"i can give you more than a thousand and one reasons about how i ended up here, married to karina." his soft voice echoing throughout the room. "one of them is because sometimes... we don't notice that what we need is right under our noses. sometimes we even notice... but only a few people dare themselves to confess their love to that person.'' at that point nobody else understood where he was getting at with that speech. just like all evening, you didn't attempt to look at him and be unlucky enough to find him also watching you.

''one more reason why we are here, on this particular night, is that maybe i took too long to realize, waited for too long. i wish i could confess this earlier because... deep down i always knew it was you. the love of my life and my best friend.''

something inside of you clicked. back when you started to date, jeno looked you up one day and you fought, he was just being jealous that your then-boyfriend also claimed to be your best friend and you didn't say anything, the point is that he would never call karina his best friend. on that day, both promise never forgets about their besties and never, never calling anyone ''best friend''.

nobody knew about that.

"if... if i could only go back in time... maybe i would tell myself how i should confess to you.'' you looked up, getting his gaze. you stood surprised when you noticed that his eyes were tearing up. ''if only i had known that we would be here today. i never would have let your lips leave mine years ago, on new years'. i never should have walked away. i never should have panicked. i never should have lost all those years without you... because i've realized that no matter where you are or what you're doing, or who you're with, i will always honestly, truly, completely love you.''

you couldn't believe in your damn bad luck.

you couldn't discover what was more pathetically tragic. the fact that karina would watch the video of her wedding in the future and see her husband confessing his love to someone who wasn't her. or the fact that jeno had chosen his wedding day to acknowledge that he loved you.

karina never kissed him on new year's, their first one was in a cinema. only you did, once in your second year as friends. you two never spoke about it.

karina didn't like romantic comedies, she was a literature major and only liked movies that was focussed on classics. you did. you had made jeno watch "love, rosie" so many times that you both knew the script.

with tears rolling down their cheeks, the two of you stared at each other for what seemed like hours. he loved you too. you both now knew about the other's love. inaudibly while you wiped your tears you both agreed that; maybe in another time, another life, we were meant for a happy ending. but not here, not at this moment.

but it didn't matter, only you two knew how much you loved each other and always would.

ok guys, sorry for making this so long and for any mistakes. let me know if you wanted to me doing scenarios, reactions or timestamps or even let my asks open for requests.

[shihalyfie]

Since we both ship them, I've got to ask for some KenMiya headcanons. How do you picture Ken and Miyako getting together? Who does the confessing? Who initiates the first kiss? How do you picture their general dynamic as a couple? And are there any misconceptions of them as a ship that you'd like to address?

Oh boy! I get to actually talk about the ship in detail!

(By the way, I want to say that, with a few exceptions, I'm open to talking about ships in general; I think people get the impression that Ken/Miyako and Takeru/Daisuke are the only two ships I'm all that interested in, but it's actually just that those are the only two I'm personally comfortable writing as a fanfic writer at this point, which is a huge difference from what I enjoy personally. I'm really picky about my own writing, so just because I like a ship doesn't mean I feel comfortable writing any fanfic with it yet...)

I think one of the most interesting semi-paradoxes when it comes to Ken/Miyako is that a lot of people understand it's canon, and the most common reading of why is that Miyako canonically established that Ken was her type in 02 episode 8 (and never really let up on complimenting the hell out of his looks thereafter). Therefore, the idea is that she'd ask him out eventually. Thing is, though, most people actually into the ship and studying its dynamics have concluded the opposite: that Ken would be into Miyako but it'd totally go over her head. The reason is that the former reading misses one key factor: Miyako has absolutely godawful self-esteem bordering on self-hatred, and you'll notice that when she talks about someone being hot or cute, she's not flirting or anything; she does it as a way of complimenting them, never in the sense of remotely having the illusion that she has a chance with them. So even if Ken turned out to be absolutely her type, she's probably already eliminated the idea that she'd ever have a chance with him and is just grateful that someone so awesome gets to be her friend. (And, of course, 02 episode 25 makes it very clear that she was interested in reaching out to him on more than just sheer attraction; I absolutely beg people to not pigeonhole her into the idea she only took an interest in him because she found him hot.)

So the appeal of the ship comes from the sheer irony that Miyako could have someone who fits her "ideal type" in almost every respect, and that said person could start developing a thing for her because of her lovely brightness and capacity for making others happy, and she would have absolutely no idea because she has such a difficult time conceiving that anyone would actually like her in that way. The way Ken treats Miyako in Kizuna seems to support this directionality (even subtly), and I imagine it's why they don't really seem to be dating at this time even though we're only a few years off from them having their first kid, for goodness's sake -- they've known each other this long, and if they could finally commit it wouldn't take long for them to go all the way, but because Miyako is so dense, it's turned into some kind of bizarre mutual pining affair.

(You might notice that I also write for Takeru/Daisuke, which has similar shades of "trying to get someone's attention but it completely goes over their head due to lack of self-confidence", and now you understand why I write for these two in particular.)

So yes! We have Miyako who's bright, lovely, affectionate, and wonderful, and well-liked by the others in the group, but is dense and self-effacing and probably wouldn't even consider herself someone worthy of that kind of affection, versus Ken who's more straightforward about his emotions and has been spending his time understanding what he better wants and how to speak out about it. In the end, I do think it's going to be him who initiates most of just about everything, because it's an uphill battle of getting Miyako to accept that she's worthy of anything or that she has the right to ask more of anyone. How it actually starts to begin with...well, we don't have a lot of canonical content that gives us much to work with in how they initially hook up (and, maybe a bit selfishly, I don't actually want them to give it to me explicitly, because a good percentage of the reason I write for this is the fun of the challenge of figuring it out), but I'm a little intrigued by the fact Miyako decided to go to Spain. Of all things. Where they speak a language her future husband is known to be proficient in. A lot of people have noticed this one...

Ultimately, they're both very affectionate people! While Ken ostensibly seems more restrained, a lot of his personal character arc was about him learning to embrace affection from his family again (the whole "Ken-chan" thing comes from his mother, after all), and Miyako doting on everyone goes without saying, and they made it clear that she's a wonderful person who makes other people happy and makes them laugh (02 episodes 38, 50). So yes, by choosing to be with her, maybe he signed up for quite a handful in the future, but he adores that handful all the same. And, of course, that Miyako would spare no moment in doting on her kind and loyal and smart boyfriend goes without saying.

[strangertheory]

"anti-Mileven"

I know you submitted this as a message and not an Ask, but I hope you don't mind if I answer your question with a longer post because this is a topic that is important to me but is complicated. I've meant to do a post about this, but kept putting it off because it is a very layered topic for me and my thoughts about Mileven are probably not what a lot of fans want to hear.

I respect that everyone develops an attachment to their preferred couples in stories for personal reasons, and as such any criticism of the dynamic between two characters that are dating can feel like a very personal criticism. I respect everyone's head-canons and favorite ships as sacred ground: I don't want to tell anyone how they should or should not relate to a story. That's unique to each of us as fans, and we will all enjoy Stranger Things for different reasons.

However: I do have some thoughts regarding the way that the narrative has established the dynamic between Mike and El. And I personally do not find their dynamic *as it currently is* to be one that is ideal for either of them yet.

I really care about Eleven and I really care about Mike. They are two of my favorite characters in the story.

To say that I'm "anti-Mileven" is a huge oversimplification of how I feel about Mike and El's dynamic.

I am very much anti:

overlooking the fact El has been treated as a lab rat and abused and isolated from society for the majority of her existence and her ignorance of her own identity and her own desires is repeatedly reinforced canonically. ("How do I know what I like?") El has spent only a few months out in the world beyond her cell at the lab and beyond Hopper's cabin, she knows very little about the world yet, and she is being taught much of what she now knows by her boyfriend who also happens to be one of the few people she interacts with in her daily life. The power difference and social difference between them is huge currently regardless of whether Mike is a nice kid with good intentions or not, and they are both fourteen years olds.

overlooking that it is superficial and not representative of a "deep" relationship to only kiss and make out with a significant other and not do other meaningful activities that establish a real day-to-day relationship (like hanging out with friends and other loved ones as a couple.) There's a popular misconception that the act of two people kissing is inherently romantic and a sign of emotional closeness. But kissing becomes romantic psychologically when two people share a deep affection for one another that is based on shared experiences and emotional and psychological connectedness. If two characters can be shown to care about one another without ever physically touching, they have the potential for a deep connection that is based on more than the thrill of physical affection. Give me a well-developed relationship first, and then kissing will seem romantic to me. Without an established psychological and emotional connection between characters, kissing is merely a superficial representation of the idea of intimacy between characters without any actual substance underneath. Sure that's what kids do when they're figuring out how dating and feelings and physical intimacy work and it's not harmful in itself provided that they are both comfortable with it, but keep this in mind within the context of the other concerns I list here.

trivializing Mike's dishonesty and blaming Hopper for Mike's lying when the truth is Mike could have easily explained to El that Hopper didn't want them spending as much time together and having some space would be better. El is well aware of Hopper's dislike for their time spent together. This should have been a very easy conversation. As Lucas rightfully asks as Mike is ranting about the situation he got himself into: "Why lie?" Good question, Lucas. Good question. El asks Mike this again later at the mall. "Why do you lie?" Mike stares back at her with an awkward expression, and does NOT answer her. Why is this answer not an easy one? Why has Mike still not addressed things with El? I think there is more going on here than just Hopper's threats.

I am very in favor of:

El learning more about who she is and what she wants to do with her life outside of the desires and expectations of other people.

Mike figuring out how to effectively express his thoughts and feelings honestly. He is clearly struggling to do this throughout season 3, and it is uncharacteristic of the kid who defiantly said and did what he wanted frequently in seasons 1 and 2. Clearly Mike is not comfortable and is nervous, which is understandable for someone exploring new emotionally vulnerable territory like dating for the first time, but he needs to learn to be honest and tell people how he is thinking and feeling or else he is also putting himself and his feelings and needs at risk and potentially establishing an unhealthy relationship that will hurt him and hurt others even if he doesn't mean to. Mike's nervousness is STILL present in the final goodbye scene in which Mike and El talk, and El tells him she loves him and kisses him. He is still stumbling over his words and anxious, and he seems notably confused after El kisses him. These small details are not trivial, they are clearly intentional.

Recognizing that Mike is the first person her age that was kind to El when she escaped the lab, and given that she has only known pain and abuse her entire life and has never known friendship let alone romance that her psychological readiness for understanding a romantic relationship is NOT the same as an ordinary 14 year old's and this cannot be stated enough.

Recognizing that societal pressures and personal insecurities might be a huge factor in how Mike clings to El's attention and affection for him, and that there is evidence in the story that supports this interpretation. We know that Mike is bullied frequently, and that there is a layer of homophobia often involved. (Even if James and Troy were speaking rudely about Will, they were still directly confronting Mike. The implication is there.) We know that Lucas yelled at Mike "No Mike. You're blind. Blind because you like that a girl's not grossed out by you!" This reveals that Lucas knows that Mike is insecure and wants validation. Just because Mike has a desperate desire to be loved and liked by a girl does not mean that his appreciation of El's attention is based on his genuine romantic affection for her. Mike might be dating El because he enjoys the attention, he likes being liked, and he likes how having a girlfriend makes him feel more accepted and normal.

Recognizing that every moment that Mike has tried to share something that he is passionate about with El (the Yoda figurine, the dinosaurs) she has been completely disinterested. Since El has no cultural connection to the pop culture stories Mike loves and she lived in the Lab her entire life, it makes perfect sense that she will have no interest in these toys. Her lack of interest in what Mike is passionate about, however, is worth noting: not because it's a bad thing, but because it's just one of many reasons they are "not even from the same planet" and cannot bond and connect easily. El has lived an incredibly different life from Mike, has suffered through so much, and is still learning about the outside world and about herself. She is severely behind in social and personal development. She needs time to learn and to grow and to heal so she can live her best life and recover from what she has been through. (She doesn't really care about your Star Wars toys, Michael, because she just learned what a phone is and is processing a lot of other things right now.)

*I want to credit @kaypeace21 for pointing out many of these particular observations listed above: you can read her very detailed and extensive analysis in her post here: El is Not in Love with Mike.

These are just a few of many thoughts I have regarding Mike and El's dynamic together, and why I find the romanticization and idealization of their dating relationship to be more suited to fan-canon and fanfiction. For El to have a relationship with Mike that I would personally enjoy and appreciate, the story would need to convincingly allow her to establish a notably better understanding of who she is and what she wants, and have time to heal from her trauma and learn a lot more about the outside world. While I suspect that the Byers moving away will be very difficult for Will, in many ways I think it will benefit El tremendously and I hope that she is given more opportunities to learn and to grow.

I also agree with @hawkinsschoolcounselor 's hypothesis that Mike is projecting his feelings for Will onto El. It's impossible for me to see Mike's dynamic with El as entirely separate from Mike's relationship with Will because El was found in the woods when they were looking for Will in season 1, El helped everyone find Will in the Upside Down and saved his life, and El reappears at the end if season 2 and saves Will from the Mindflayer. Until season 3, El's appearance in Mike's life has been directly tied to Will's survival and safety. I do not think this is a trivial aspect of El's narrative. El's importance within the larger story being told is repeatedly tied back to what Will is dealing with. The reason that El and Will's narratives are so deeply intertwined has not been revealed in the story yet, but I suspect that there are some important aspects of El and Will's stories that haven't been fully revealed yet that will bring all of these seemingly isolated plot threads together. The creators of Stranger Things repeatedly tie El and Will together visually and narratively (re: @kaypeace21), and I believe there is a very specific reason for this.

I look forward to seeing what happens in season 4. Whether my interpretation of El and Mike's dynamic is fair or not, I trust the writers have a compelling next chapter in their story for us all to enjoy.

[chaos-and-recover]

I am married to someone with an intense, if only midsized, fanbase. Parasocial relationships have been a part of our lives since long before it was a buzzword. It is weirdly fascinating to us, but sometimes a bit frightening. Now that it is the buzzword of the hour, seeing it misattributed is one of our pet peeves. I have seen people claim any amount of interaction on the fan's end is "pick me" (although fan interaction is necessary for his job) or claim that him utilizing social media makes him more culpable for forcing parasocial relationships on the fans because of power imbalances. If he is obvious about promoting something, though, it doesn't go over well because audiences don't want to feel like their being advertised to. Parasocial relationships are sometimes hurtful and scary on our end. 1) There was a woman who had been following his career since the 90s, when he wasn't as well known. She would often send him letters, gifts. Within the past 5 years something changed. I don't know why, but she suddenly began to consider him a boyfriend of sorts. He had never responded to these letters. I discovered she had been catfishing me under my private, locked social media accounts under a fake name, pretending to be someone I knew from high school. He blocked her on all social media. She harassed his coworkers until they blocked her too. A friend of mine said she went on TikTok to brag about how overly sensitive celebrities will block if you call them out for not being better than regular people. Meanwhile, we got a letter from her last year begging for him to forgive whatever she did that offended him. 2) 15ish years ago, in a magazine interview, my husband states his fave color. 2 years ago, I was having lunch with a friend, without my husband. A younger woman approached the table. She asksnif my husband was around and I said that he wasn't. Immediately her tone and expression changed to something nasty. She asked if I would at least give him a painting she had done of him. It was all done in various shades of the same color. I commented on this and she sneered at me with; "It's his fave color." I am still trying to be polite at this point and casually go; "Oh is it?" and she ery rudely snaps that I am his wife and I don't know his fave color like SHE does, so I have had it and say, assertively that I've had enough and she needs to leave. I gave it to my husband and told him the encounter. He laughed about it and said that it wasn't his fave color anymore. I had never thought to ask about his fave color because it just didn't seem important to either of us. He had never asked mine. Her twitter handle was on the painting so I looked it up. Her and a few friends were discussing the incident, using my first and last initials and my husband's first. They were discussing how clearly they know him deeper than I do, that he must secretly hate me if his own wife doesn't understand him like she does, and she altered the story so that she had seen him there earlier so I was clearly lying and that she had timidly approached the table and I had screamed at her that the color was ugly. I don't watch his interviews unless he specifically asks me to, because this is like listening in on someone's work meeting. This has been misconstrued by "fans" that I don't support him. I absolutely do, 200%, probably more than they support their husband's jobs, but watching his interviews isnt how i support him. I support him in our home, in our phone calls, in other ways he appreciates in our personal lives. Parasocial relationships are absolutely fine, until people start to believe they aren't in one, or that it is somehow more substantial than personal relationships the celebrities have with their loved ones. They truly think that they can Sherlock Holmes someone enough to truly know them better than the ones who actually know them in real life. (Sorry if you got this multiple times. Tumblr said it didnt send my ask.)

(Same anon from before) What fans need to understand is that parasocial relationships are good. It is fine to be a fan of someone, support their career, analyze them and write fanfiction and draw fanart of them or their characters. This is how my husband keeps his job, this is completely normal fan behavior. It isnt bad for the sake of existing. But they need to be aware that it is parasocial. I think the problem doesn't lie with parasocial relationships so much as when those in the relationship aren't aware that it is parasocial. Those who are aware of it being parasocial aren't the ones claiming that I do not know my husband but that they do or sending him love letters thinking their in a relationship with him. Those who know it is parasocial know that there is a difference between him answering questions in an interview (after being coached by a professional on how to appear and how to speak, and going into it knowing 90% of the questions) and having a conversation when there aren't cameras around, behind closed door. There is a difference between remembering a list of favorite things and watching someone enjoy those things in the moment every day in person. You just HAVE to be aware that they ARE parasocial.

First of all I gotta say I'm SUPER curious who you are (obviously you don't have to tell me!)! I've heard and seen things like what you described happen in several different fandoms of varying popularity, and I'm sorry you have to deal with that. But you're 100% right, engaging in regular fandom behaviour is perfectly normal, even interacting with creators/actors/musicians/whoever on social media (or in person if you meet them). It's HOW you interact with them. You need to both have your own and respect their boundaries.

I'm a fan of a couple 80s/90s boybands, as you just... ARE as an elder millennial lmao, and I can understand how easy it is as a young teen to go too far and cross boundaries because you just don't have the life experience or really, emotional regulation to interact with your idols in a normal way. But I've seen that now carry on well into adulthood, the things grown-ass women TO THIS DAY say about the wives of some of these band members is shocking (maybe not to you though since you've lived it!). I've had several conversations where I've had to remind people that literally every interaction they've had with these people at official meet & greets and stuff, even to an extent their interactions on social media, it's like the famous-person equivalent of Customer Service Voice. They're working! Of course they're nice to you when you paid like $500 to talk to them for thirty seconds! It doesn't mean you're friends!

(Not shaming paid M&Gs, I've done them, I'd do them again, it's an opportunity my 13 year old self never thought she'd had but like... I'm not secretly dating a Backstreet Boy because I met them for five seconds, y'know?)

Anyway yeah... all this to say, you're right. Parasocial relationships are a natural part of fandom and they're FINE and GOOD you just gotta respect boundaries.

[thatblondeperson]

Hi! I'm the girl who recommended "All I've Ever Known" from Hadestown from your most recent chapter, which, by the way, completely blew me away.

I wish I could send some of my own TimSteph thoughts/writing towards you, though I haven't done much. You are an excellent writer and I love your interpretations of both characters. They're so perfect together.

1. Do you have any fanfics concerning them coming after this one?

2. You have no idea how much it kills me that I have to wait 7 days to read another chapter. This fic should be CANON and no, I'm not joking.

3. Also, I recommend listening to Mr. Blue. It reminded me of Chapter 9 (was it?) when Steph said she was worried about Tim's mental health.

4. You said in Chapter 11 that you had a soft spot for Steph playing piano (that happened) and there would be more of "fun" Tim. Is it coming soon?

5. Have you seen Marcus To's art of TimSteph? They're so cute.

Again, so sorry for the long questions/responses. I just love TimSteph, which is weird, considering I'm not THAT big of a shipper and I'm more of a book fan than a comic book fan. I actually preferred DickKory when I got into the Batfam comics, and I still have them ranked high, but over time, these two grew on me. It was like, "Ooh, these guys are great BFFs! They can't get any better--"

Then I realized that they were dating, and the more and more I thought about it, THE MORE AND MORE IT MADE SENSE. I COULD WRITE A 10-PAGED PAPER ON WHY THEY WORK SOOOO WELL.

But IncoherentBabblings beat me to it with her incredible post on "Why TimSteph is Nice," and it's one of my favorite posts ever.

Hey hey!! Sorry, busy couple days at work!

I am so happy that you've been enjoying the fic!! I listened to the song and it's so so sweet!! I totally get the TimSteph vibes from it, where it's just the two of them clinging to each other in the face of everything else.

If you ever post anything lmk! I'm always happy to see more TimSteph content! You are too kind about my writing! I am just happy that I'm finishing my first multichapter fic like this. Never finished a big project before, honestly never thought it would happen.

1. I have a whole to-do list of little projects, god knows when anyone will see those. I'm drafting little things now that I'm winding down from FMWBTY. I am gonna be doing a collab project with @incoherentbabblings but we are just in the planning stages so far.

As far as with this fic, I would love to do a sequel to write the relationship more on this timeline, but we'll see! There's a lot more I'd like to cover, idk if it would be as long of a project. I do want to utilize Cass and Damian though, I want to bring them in since Cass is such an important person to Steph, and I'd love to see some forced bonding hilarity between Tim and Damian with Tim playing nice out of respect for Steph lol

2. lololol yeah I though a week would be a good amount of time in between chapters. It's better than waiting for me to write the chapters, I promise. I made my first draft of this thing in 2019!

3. I will listen to that too! It's on the list!

4. I use "fun" in an odd way. I'm trying to have Tim relax around Steph and act like himself again. He's kinda been battered by a lot of shit over the years, so he's kinda receded in on himself. I will drag him out a bit, but that's where a sequel would also be fun. Let him be a jokey, lovey dovey boyfriend for Steph.

5. Love Marcus! Hope to be able to commission a TimSteph piece from him someday. I do wish that she was drawn with more wavy, kind of untamed hair, since I just like the idea that Steph has this super thick hair. But his art is literally always stunning, such clean line work and I like that he doesn't draw the men too bulky, and that the women aren't oversexualized.

Long questions are fine! I think a lot of us started with DickKory in the form of RobStar in the Teen Titans TV show, that was definitely one of my first major ships, and it was a painfully wonderful slowburn. Wonder where I latched onto that trope? 🤣🤣🤣

Idk when I hopped onto TimSteph. I think I just latched on after I started reading Tim because their dynamic was so fun and sweet. And then fandom, cuz when I joined there weren't so many antis and Steph haters. Truly sad to see now.

Thank you thank you THANK YOU for all your support!! I definitely plan to keep writing TimSteph while I still have ideas! ❤💜

[multifandom-girlie]

𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

Imagine requested by @theshyprincess : You take his virginity

Pairing: MG x Vampire!Reader

Warnings: smut

Disclaimer: I am not supporting minor and adult relationships but for the purpose of readers backstory, we are allowing it. Especially considering that is basically what all the shows are about if you think about it. Also I have nothing against MG but I just thought it would be a surprise to not have them dating. Also I thought the idea of the boy being the Virgin is a little more unique considering all stories I've read for this particular request are all girls having their virginity taken, so I thought I'd be different. Also the age of reader isn't completely known to me but I wanted her dating Kol when she was 16 and since they dates for 3 years she must be 19 but I'm not sure if you can stay longer at the Salvatore school unlike normal school. Hope you enjoy !

Since I started the school, Milton's always had a little crush on me but of course me growing up and developing into a women only intensified that crush and here we are. He's not a bad person but I haven't ever seen him in the way he wants me to. But of course he asked me to the back to school dance Lizzie thought would be a good idea to through and of course I couldn't say no. See a few weeks ago, he wouldn't have even dates asking me considering my ex boyfriend is not only and older more intimidating man, not just a vampire but a Mikaelson. Yup, you did hear that right. It wasn't supposed to happen but it did.

See Hope was going home to New Orleans to visit all her family at Christmas around 3 years ago and since I didn't have anywhere to go she invited me. So I went with her met her family and everyone was really nice, but her uncle Kol was particularly nice to me. We were only meant to be staying until the 28th of December and then going back home but Hope was convinced to stay till New Years by her Uncle...Kol. So there we were New Years in New Orleans, drinking champagne. The countdown began, Kol and I were stood in the back and three bottles of champagne had been shared between us both alone. It didn't take long for him to make his move that night, 5 minutes after midnight we were both intoxicated, horny, hot and naked. The amount of times it happened that night, without us giving a care in the world. That was what most of our relationship was like, but I'm afraid it got to careless and he cheated on me with a girl called Davina. He tried apologising but I wasn't hearing any of it, three years down the drain because of lack of loyalty and a bottle of white.

So here we are present day, 20 minutes before the dance and crying into my pillow. Just because I wouldn't hear Kol out doesn't mean the thought of him isn’t heart-wrenching. I pulled away from the pillow, praising myself for using waterproof mascara accidently. I walked to the mirror ran my fingers through my hair, wiped the fresh tears off my face and straightened out my dress. I walked out the door and locked it behind me, walked down the hall and down the stairs to the big hall, where the dance was. I pushed the mahusive brown door away from me and walked into the hall, MG greeted me at the bottom and led me to the middle of the floor.

He grabbed ahold of my waist and hand and started swaying us to the music.

“Look y/n I know that your probably heart-wrenching about breaking up with Kol, so this is the only time I'll mention it but I am sorry. Even if it worked in my favour.”

I looked at him, tears pooling in my eyes. I don’t want to tell him I can't see him that way but I have too eventually, so it might aswell be now.

“MG look. You are the sweetest man I've ever met and your funny and incredibly handsome and any girl would be lucky to have you, but I don't see you like that. I think your amazing but it's going to take me a while for this Kol thing to blow over and I can't give you hope for something to happen when it's more than likely it won't. I appreciate you asking me to the dance and always being there for me but we aren't ever going to date MG, I am sorry.”

He looked down at the ground a gripped me tighter. He looked back into my eyes. 

“Eh it was a long shot anyway. It just sucks that you don't feel that way about you, I don't think you quite realise how much I do really like you.”

I smiled slightly and looked him the eyes, I giggled slightly before I spoke.

“What you mean, when you spend hours getting Josie to teach you how to bake everytime I'm upset so you can bring me some food? when you sprain your wrist getting Lizzie to teach you how to dance to impress me? when you sit in your room crying to yourself when you think about me with someone else? when you blackmailed Kaleb into teaching you how to fight property so you could protect me ? I do see all of this Milton and I've tried so hard to feel the same way, it makes me the only girl who wouldn't fall for it. But at the end of the day, would you not rather have me as a really good friend and never lose me or date me, something goes wrong and then we never speak again.”

He had tears in his eyes and he decided to twirle me.

“You saw all that ? I guess I would rather never lose you.”

We looked deeply into each other's eyes and grinned.

“Okay so we can either continue dancing and be boring or go steal Ric's bourbon and Emma's red ?”

He laughed and dragged me out the hall. We snuck into Alaric's office and grabbed the drinks we then took ourselves to Emma's office and stole her brand new, very tasty, expensive bottle of red. 

Around 1 hour later, we were waltzing around the halls together with empty bottles in our hands and stumbling into everything around us. We then heard Alaric calling us from round the corner so we opened a cupboard and slotted ourselves in. It was the janitors closet, so I watched through the grates in the door so find Alaric. He was looking around completely clueless and I was silently laughing until I realised how close in proximity me and Milton were. The fact that we were intoxicated probably didn't help. His member swiftly brushed against my behind and turned me on more than I realised. His hands travelled down my waist and his mouth did the same but to my neck. His warm breath fanned on my neck.

“We might be safer in here, away from innocent minds and prying eyes.”

His big soft lips brushed against my neck and my eyes rolled back. I suddenly sobered a little but he wasn't completely with it. I turned around so we were facing eachother and his member was definetely an important factor in the conversation now.  

“Milton, honey... have you ever done this before ?”

He shook his head and still continued his movements. Points to the guy for confidence, seriously. I mean what's the worst that could happen, I can't get pregnant because I'm a vampire and he's drunk anyway so he wont't remember that it even happened. I'm still not entirely sure I will yet.

I lifted my dress up and kissed him roughly.

OUTFIT

He pulled away from the kiss.

“Wait stop. Just before we do this... you looked really beautiful tonight.”

I smiled at him in awe and kissed him again.

“Thankyou Milton.”

I ripped the buttons of his shirt and kissed down his chest down to the waistband. He started breathing really heavily.

“Milton, calm down.”

He nodded and slowed his breathing. I smiled and undid his belt and slipped his trousers down. His buldge prominent through his black boxers. I used my hand to stroke his clothed member whilst placing little kisses around his man region. His eyes started to close with pleasure so I ripped his boxers off and flicked my tounge out to collect the pre cum dripping from his tip. His breathing started to quicken as I took his whole cock into my and swirled my tounge around it as I did. His tip collided with the back of my throat and already his dick was already throbbing. I jumped back up before he came and I kissed him passionately. He grabbed my throat and pinned me against the wall.

“I’m okay with teasing but that was too far. Let's see how you like it.”

He lifted me up and ripped my panties off. He held me on the wall and thrusted his cock into me with no warning. It was a very surprising gift. He kept doing it until I was just about to cum, he pulled out and kissed me. We made out for a couple of minutes and he then lifted me higher and stuck his face in between my legs and stuck his tounge straight into my entrance. I was nearly at my peak again when he pulled away.

“Okay Milton, I've learned my lesson. Just please let me come.”

He lowered me into his dick once again and my orgasm was fast approaching. As soon as he's finished his fourth thrust, I released all over his cock. Squirting into his stomach and my legs. He started to rub my clit and I squirted even more. I couldn't handle the pleasure. It was overstimulation at it's finest.

I jumped down with a grin on my face and pulled my dress back over my head. Milton was putting his suit back on before he spoke up.

“The no panties thing was lucky wasn’t it. It's like you knew it was going to happen.”

I laughed and shook my head, I opened the door.

“Don’t get to cocky Milton. It wasn't for you Kol was meant to be coming tonight and whether I forgave him or not, I've been super horny all day. I needed some release and I knew he would give it to me.”

He laughed with me and he walked me back to my room, where there was a surprise waiting for me.

“Kol?!”

He looked at me in horror and walked into my room slamming the door behind him.

“Milton thank you for tonight, it was great. But I need to make sure he doesn't go rouge.”

He smiled and I left him alone. I walked into my room and I'm telling you, i'm dead meat.

Tags: @akshi8278 @theshyprincess

 MASTERLIST

[thatsamericano]

I've been calling your stepbro fic "Life with Savino" in my head like that old show "Life with Derek" where almost everyone shipped Derek and Casey tho most fics I saw back when I was into the show had them dating secretly before they became step siblings. Seeing your posts brings back good memories and I really like seeing how Alfred's and Savino's family members eventually figure out they're in love

LOL, thanks! I've heard a little bit about that show and there are some similarities in the fact that FrUKSpa announce their relationship and that they're all going to live together when Alfred and Savino are 16. Alfred and Savino become stepbros as teens (and knew each other for a substantially long time before that to develop feelings), so they can't just be like "yay, new stepbro!" (and even the platonic Matthew and Feliciano duo I've contrasted Romerica with in this fic see each other more as friends thrown together by circumstance, since they're 16 and 14 respectively). There's also some parts of the fic where I talk about Tolys, his stepbrother Eduard, and their shared half-brother Raivis. Their situation is completely different than the main one in the fic, since Tolys's mom married Eduard's dad when they were four, and then they had Raivis a year later. They grew up thinking of each other as brothers despite the technical titles, which is different from this guy cannot be my brother because I'm in love with him and had strong feelings I hadn't dealt with yet before our parents randomly decided to basically get poly married.

Matthew and Feliciano figured out what was going on before shortly after they all started living together (long before the actual Romerica relationship started), because they know their brothers well and since Alfred in particular was obvious as hell about his feelings. I show Matthew figuring it out the day Savino and his family move in, and Feliciano seems to just be psychic about them from Alfred's POV (since I imagine his realizations were more focused on Savino's side of things). Once they started a relationship, Matthew and Feliciano figured it out the same exact day. FrUK at this point have strong reason to believe something is going on (especially Arthur), but they're construing it more as unrelated teens in the same house doing NSFT things instead of a full-fledged relationship with actual romantic feelings. They've brought their suspicions up to their partner Antonio, but right now he doesn't believe them and comes up with alternative explanations for every suspicious thing he sees. (For comedy purposes, he might be the last to figure anything out, and it only happens when he is told or something so obvious happens that even he can't brush it off.) Marcello, who's only nine, has just figured it out, and I'm working through a plot line where he blackmails them into getting him a Vespa (that Savino will let him take many rides on) because he holds resentment towards Alfred for hurting his feelings in the Christmas card incident and is pissed off when he learns the reason why (and like FrUK, he's misconstruing it as a sex thing and not a "they're in love" thing). So far, a couple people in Savino's extended family have figured it out and think it's cute and approve of the relationship (Chiara, who is trying to protect Alfred from being too dumb and obvious, and Nonno Vargas, who keeps getting reminded of him and his late wife every time he sees them being cute together and is trying to decide when/if to talk to Alfred about the fact he's in love with Nonno Vargas's grandson). Some of the background extended family members have varying opinions (an aunt Patrizia thinking it's kind of weird and an uncle Nicodemo and his wife who mentioned something Alfred said about Savino they thought was funny and cute), but all they have are vague thoughts about them, and they're not the focus.

You didn't ask about friends, but all of their closer friends know what's going on and are okay with it because they understand how it happened and all the pining that went on before they officially got together. Kiku walked in on them making out in the library which was very awkward for him but only because he walked in on his friends, not the stepbrother thing. He knew Alfred liked Savino months before the stepbrother thing, and he feels a little guilty because he said something he thought was true at the time that delayed them being together (basically, without using that label, that Alfred is aroace and just doesn't like people in a boyfriend/girlfriend way). They decided to tell Tolys, who made it clear he was okay with Alfred's feelings months ago and had known for a while but just didn't say anything to him. Since he has a stepbrother he sees as just a brother, Alfred was worried he'd react badly but he didn't since he knew all the circumstances. Savino's ex-girlfriend Emma realized when he needed her help on an extremely detailed art project based on Romerica's first kiss (but he made it two girls in part to disguise what it was). She put the pieces together about why Savino claimed to have unresolved feelings for someone else when they broke up after their brief relationship (this was true, but at the time she thought he was just trying to make her feel better about breaking up with her boyfriend because she only likes girls). Alfred recently told his brother's girlfriend Katya who has been with Matthew for so long that she's become Alfred's friend too. She knew Alfred liked Savino for just as long as he himself knew, and she's been very worried about all the pining, Alfred running away from home and endangering himself, and then more recently Alfred acting like he has a secret that makes him happy but is extremely scared will be taken away from him. She's worried about their families reactions but is very supportive and happy for them finally being together.

[halcyonnhood]

Changes || l.h

Summary: Sarah struggles to come to terms with her feelings for Luke, Ashton's a good friend, and Luke is an understanding boyfriend.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: implied past abuse. lots of emotions. a few curse words.

Authors Note: More Luke and Sarah content! Here the first part if you missed it. This part may seem redundant, but that's okay. I think this ended up being a vent fic, so please just try to be nice to me. If you ever have any thoughts about the luke & sarah universe just send me an ask!

- - -

Love feels a lot like sunshine on the first day of spring.

Not that Sarah would know what love feels like. She doesn't. She doesn't even know if she loves Luke romantically, how could anyone be so sure of that? Luke seemed so certain of his feelings when he told her and she had been oblivious to it the entire time. All she knows is that she feels different whenever she's around the lanky man. She feels warmth from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, as if she were basking in comforting sunny rays. Everything seems so much brighter and prettier with him, it reminds her of seeing flowers for the first time after a long snowy winter. She doesn't know if that's what love feels like. She could just be happy to have Luke home.

If Sarah is honest, she's envious of Luke and all of his certainty. He's always been so sure of everything in life. Sure that he was born with music in his bloodstream and talent flowing from his fingertips. Sure that he was made for fame in LA. And he had sounded positively sure when he announced his love for her when he returned from tour. She hadn't been so lucky, in fact, she is the complete opposite and doubts everything. She hasn't quite found her passion in life, she often times regrets moving to LA, and she can't figure out all of these twisted emotions. She wishes it could come to her that easily.

“What're you thinking about?” Luke questions, breaking the girl out of her daze. He twirls more noodles around his fork and watches her with his kind blue eyes.

Sarah bites the inside of her cheek for a moment and decides to tell him the truth, “Love.”

The response nearly makes him choke on a mouthful of food and his coughing sends bits of liquid spewing everywhere. If Sarah hadn't grown accustomed to both him and the boys, she would've considered it gross. She also would've marked this as a failed first date, but it's Luke and it's nothing she hasn't seen before. The sight just makes her laugh as she hands him an extra napkin.

“Love,” Luke repeats. She swears his eyebrows might fly off his face if he raises them any higher, “Love, right. What about it?”

“It's just that you were so certain about it...And I don't do love, Luke.”

Luke's expression softens, “I know.”

“You know?” Sarah looks up at him in confusion.

“I know you don't do love. I know practically everything about you. Sarah, you've only ever told me you loved me once and that was just platonically. That's okay. It's only the first date, I shouldn't have been so quick to say that.”

The two sit in silence for a while, the slurping of noodles being the only noise between them. Sarah wants to be able to tell Luke that she loves him, because that's just what you say in response to someone who loves you. It's something you should say if you think you love someone. It's definitely what you say after you kiss the man that loves you, but the words never come out. Someday she hopes she'll be able to say it to the man and mean it with her entire heart and soul. All she knows currently is that she's enjoying the date and every time he smiles at her, she feels warmer.

“I don't do love, but I do other things. I bake sweets, I take care of petunia, and I write really nice music reviews on every app I own.” Sarah finally breaks the silence. “It isn't a lot-”

“But it's how you show that you love me,” Luke finishes for her.

Sarah lets out the breath she was holding, relieved that he understands, “Yeah. I know my fears are irrational, but I don't want not saying it to stop whatever this is,”

“I have to say, I've enjoyed this date and it'd be an awful shame if a second never happens.” Luke tells her. She can see the playful twinkle in his eyes, but the words ring truthful.

“That really would be disappointing,”  She agrees. “I am looking forward to you beating traditional ramen. That's pretty hard to top,”

“Sounds like a challenge,”

/ / / /

Everything has to change. The seasons, the time, and emotions all go through changes. The summer turns to fall and long days turn to early sunsets. Sarah's tough exterior turns into a poorly supported shield. Which she isn't very happy about. She is not vulnerable. Or soft. She is consistent and strong. But she still finds herself lacking her normal demeanor whenever the blond curly headed demon is around.

Ashton invited Sarah over to his housewarming party, so naturally, she drives over with the tupperware full of cheesecake strapped safely in the passenger seat. The absurdity of buckling food into her car puts her in a giggly mood, but she didn't spend the night before baking it just to have it spilled onto the floorboards. She balances the gift bag on top of the containers and tries to carry it into the new home with steady hands. The task proves itself to be more difficult than she expected, because the bag covers her line of sight, and she doesn't know the layout of the house. She's barely into the foyer and she's already hit her hip on the sharp edge of a decorative side table, making her let out a hiss of obscenities at the pain. Ambling through hallways blindly is obviously not her strong suit, so when the bag is lifted out of her vision, she's happy to find Ashton in front of her. And to properly see the entrance to his house.

“You swear like a sailor, Sarah. You do know that, right?” Ashton asks her with a dimpled smile.

“Only because you have a table in your foyer!” Sarah huffs. Ashton laughs and turns to lead the two of them towards the kitchen, “Who puts tables in a foyer?”

“My interior decorator. It's been two minutes and you're already insulting my house, I'm wounded.” Ashton shakes his head in mock disappointment. He points towards the empty space on the counter next to the wings, so she can set down the containers.

After setting down the contents, she turns and takes in the sight of his new kitchen. She wishes she could find more to insult, but she really enjoys it, “It looks nice, Ash. I like the blue in here.”

“Me too, it feels appropriate. So, what'd you bring this time? Since you nearly fell protecting it,”

“I made two cheesecakes just for you! It took some research, but I made them coffee and cappuccino flavored,” Sarah tells him with an excited smile. “Just had to feed into the addiction,”

Ashton wraps her into a tight hug, “I think that might be the sweetest thing you've ever done. Thank you, Sarbear.”

“You're welcome. Just try it, loser. Since you're my biggest critic and all,”

Sarah leans against the counter while Ashton cuts himself a piece of each. She lets her eyes wander past the kitchen entryway to the living room where she can see some of their friends messing around. She can hear Luke's laugh before she sees him, even just the sound makes her heart race. When she does finally see him in the back of the room, curls bouncing as he laughs with Michael, it makes her heart clench. After multiple dates, lots of hanging out, and scattered kisses, she can still feel her heart melt into a puddle at the bottoms of her feet. And it frustrates her more than anything, because this is not her and this is not how she acts. Not towards Luke or anyone in her life. She can't figure out when she started looking at the man romantically, not in a best friend way or ‘just a couple dates’ way, but full blown “I dreamt I married him once” way. She does not do emotions, no matter what her stupid subconscious might say.

“It tastes delicious,” Ashton tells her. It breaks her daze and she focuses back on the black haired boy who gives her a sly smile.

Her eyebrows raise in shock. A compliment from her friend is rarely heard of when they like arguing so much, “Wait, really? I'm glad you like it,”

“Of course I do.” He rolls his eyes. “I know that look, by the way.”

“What look?”

“The one you have everytime you look at Luke. It's the same one he's given you for the past year. It's the same look that Michael gets when he thinks about Crystal,”

Sarah is immediately shaking her head, because she knows that look. She's seen Luke giving her that look, “No! There's no look. Besides, you guys have only been home for like three months, how can yo-”

“It's been a lot longer than that, he loves you and you know it. Sarah, I know you're this protected, cold, and unfeeling person, but stop denying this.”

“I'm not unfeeling, I just keep my emotions to myself. You learn to with five brothers at home.” She tells him softly, “I do love you and the boys.”

Ashton looks up from his plate in shock, “I love you too.”

“You all have been my best friends since I moved here. I've been up Luke's ass since day one and accepting that my love for him isn't platonic anymore is hard. All I've ever known is best friend Luke, not boyfriend Luke who is romantic and soft.”

“He can still be best friend Luke, but with a few upgrades. Admitting that you love people will not make the world implode. You'll be fine telling him,” Ashton encourages.

Sarah stares at Ashton silently. She's never realized that he could read her so well, but she's not sure what else she expected. He could see that she loves Luke and he can tell she's scared. She just wishes these things were as easy for her as it is for everyone else.

“And that's coming from the brother who wouldn't say that unless he trusted both of you completely.”

Ashton eats his piece of cheesecake in silence after that, the sounds of their friends filling the empty space. Deep down, Sarah knows that he's right. She knows that Luke loves her and she should tell him that she loves him too, but there's something terrifying about the unpredictability of emotions. She could tell him she loves him and there's the chance that his feelings could change. Or maybe he would realize he never loved her at all. If something ever did happen between them, could they ever go back to being best friends? Even worse than that, she hopes she never has to go back to being only friends.

What's the worst thing that could happen? Sarah knows that Luke loves her, he may have taken a step back from vocalizing it, but he shows it in other ways now. The worst thing is that she gets nervous and bails while trying to tell him. It wouldn't be so bad, to be able to show him her feelings for once. Right when she decides to tell him, Ashton bumps her shoulder and breaks her focus.

He holds his fork out to her with the last bite of cheesecake on it, “It's delicious, I swear. It's just rich and you're over here feeding me two slices.”

“You made the choice to try both,” She shakes her head, but still takes the fork to finish it. “Thank you though. I know how hard it is for you to compliment me.”

“Ashton complimented you? That's a miracle.” Luke comments. The unexpected sound of his voice makes Sarah jump, which brings out bubbling giggles from both men.

“Don't expect it too often. Anywho, I have a party to host. Catch up with you guys later!” Ashton winks at her, then leaves the two alone in the shiney new kitchen.

“Hey, honey.” Luke whispers as he pulls her into a tight embrace, “What were you guys talking about?”

Sarah snuggles into the warmth of his hug, “Just my absolutely amazing coffee flavored cheesecake and his poor choice of tables in foyers,”

“Sounds like an entertaining conversation,” He chuckles. He releases his grip from her and studies her playful expression.

"Oh, absolutely! You really missed out on that one. Just about as exciting as Ashton could get!”

"That's a shame, I must be so boring in comparison. I was just going to ask if you wanted to come over to my house after this.”

Sarah blinks up at his hopeful eyes and tries to keep the smile on her face, but she feels her brows furrowing some, “It'll be pretty late once we leave, Lu”

“I was asking if you'd like to stay the night with me.” Luke tells her softly.

His face has gone all serious and there's something in the sincerity of him inviting her over that just makes her crack right then and there. Sarah wants, scratch that, needs to tell him about the mess going on in her mind. He always knows how to organize the mess and it's not going anywhere until she finally admits what the issue is.

“I think we should talk,” She lets out a nervous sigh. By the look on his face, she can tell that's the wrong response to the invitation, but he recovers quickly and just gives her a tiny nod.

“Yeah, of course! Let's just get some privacy.”

Luke leads her to one of the rooms upstairs and explains that it's a guest room. He keeps glancing at their intertwined fingers and she knows that he must be thinking of the worst possible scenarios. She really wishes he wouldn't, she's just scared and needs to talk to both best friend Luke and boyfriend Luke. To accept that there's a difference in the two now, but all the same. And she needs to realize that no, the world will not implode if she tells him she loves him. It didn't when she told Ashton and it won't this time. The world will still be here continuing on with life and she'll be a bit more soft around the edges.

Except that Sarah has never learned to be soft or vulnerable. She grew up with five brothers and drunk parents. She was never given the chance to act like a proper little girl. It was always screaming, fighting, and blood. There were never any tears shed or lapses in her tough exterior, because the situation hadn't allowed for it. So, when she packed up and moved to LA she tried her best to push her own limits and act girly. She learned how to do makeup on her own and taught herself how to bake, without five boys waiting to make fun of her or parents to take everything away. She was trying to work on expressing herself when she met the boys and being surrounded by four boys meant that the exterior went right back up. They are her family here in LA and that means having three more brothers to protect herself from. She isn't sure she'll ever get the chance to be soft, but she wants to be. Especially for Luke.

Luke squeezes her hand lightly as the two sit on the bed. Sarah can't make out his expression or what he's thinking, but she still squeezes his fingers back in response.

“Are you breaking up with me?” Luke asks, breaking the silence. The question lingers heavily in the air and Sarah wishes a black hole would swallow her whole.

“Of course not,”

This time, Sarah can feel his warm blue eyes burning into her skin, “It feels like you're going to.”

“I'm not, I promise.” She tells him with furrowed eyebrows. She stares at the cream colored carpet beneath her feet and makes a note to tell Ashton that it was a bad choice. Light colored carpets are just asking for stains.

"I know we're still in the ‘new’ stage of this relationship and I'm really not trying to push you into being more serious. But you need to tell me things,” Luke lets go of her hand.

She watches as he paces the length of the room and struggles to piece together the words she needs to say. Everything is scattered in pieces, the words that Ashton told her, what she wants to say, and the stupid fucking carpets. But nothing is coming out, yet again.

“You never tell me things and I'm really trying to understand, but I can't when you used to tell me everything. If you can't talk to me and we're only three months in, we can't do this. Sarah, I am trying my best here and I don't know what else to do.”

"I told you everything because you were my best friend. And now you're my boyfriend and things feel different.” Sarah says quietly.

“I'm still your best friend,” Luke tells her. He squats in front of her sitting spot and strokes a thumb over her soft hand.

Sarah avoids his gaze, “I am used to being cold, it's just how I grew up. I had to. Then I met you and was able to express some things to you. Now that we're together there's a whole new set of emotions and I have never had to deal with them.”

“Are you trying to s-” Luke starts, but she cuts him off. He just pushes a strand of hair behind her ear and watches as she takes in a shaky breath.

“I love you, Luke.” Sarah tells him. And she waits for the world to implode, for the house to crumple on top of her, or for him to laugh. The only thing that happens is Luke looking up at her with glassy eyes as he kisses the backs of her hands.

“I love you too, Sarah.” He smiles, “Is that what all this was about?”

“I was scared that something bad would happen if I told you. That you would change your mind or you would laugh at me...I don't know, my family never reacted well to me talking about love and I didn't want a repeat of that.”

"Oh, honey,” Luke whispers and joins her on the bed so he can wrap his arms around her. “I would never ever do that to you.”

Sarah leans into the warmth, “I'm trying to get better at this. I just have to remember that you guys are different and emotions aren't weaknesses for you.”

"Never. You're human, you're supposed to be emotional. I know your family wasn't very nice to you, but you're here now. You have a loving boyfriend and three brothers who would do anything for you.” Luke explains softly.

Luke wipes the tears from her cheeks and places a kiss on her forehead. He remembers Sarah telling him stories about her family and how she wasn't too fond of them. She ended up in survival mode most of the time, but it never hit him that she was so cold because of it. He doesn't even think that she had realized that before tonight. She was just scared of emotions and didn't know what love felt like due to family. He hopes that she knows that they would never treat her badly.

“I'm sorry for crying all over you, I promise that it's not because of you,” Sarah giggles a bit, “I just love you so fucking much and I can say it,”

“You can say it,” Luke laughs with her, “I love you more than you'd ever realize.”

For once in Sarah's life, she feels completely at peace. She can do the whole “emotional” thing and nothing bad will happen, because all the bad stuff is in the past. It feels good to admit all the pent up stuff. And most importantly, loving luke DOES feel like sunshine on the first day of spring. Warm, fuzzy, and everything nice.

And she's certain that she's happy. So sure of it. She gets to be happy with the best person in her life and that's all she could ask for.

[emma-what-son]

(Echee post) Emma Watson has stalkers and a bodyguard

Posted on March 23 2014

From dailymail.co.uk March 2014, "Harry Potter star Emma Watson has hired a former NYPD officer as  a bodyguard to protect her from obsessed stalkers. The actress – thought to be worth £23  million – is believed to be paying the female officer £90,000 a year after a number of incidents of threatening behaviour towards her. The latest came as Emma, 23, right, was working on her new movie Noah, when an over-zealous ‘fan’ duped studio security staff and got on to the set. Emma, was left screaming, believing she was in danger, and filming had to stop. The British actress, who played Hermione Granger in the Potter films, is now constantly shadowed by blonde former New York Police Department officer Denise Morrone. A source said: ‘The  one person Emma is never without is Denise. 'Emma has had problems with stalkers in the past and, because of her wealth, there is always the threat of kidnap. 'She pays for her bodyguard out of her own pocket and Denise accompanies her everywhere, even when Emma is out for dinner. Denise is always there, making sure she is safe.’ Another source said: ‘Denise is on high alert for one particular stalker who tracked Emma down on the set of her latest film. ‘She is very discreet and very good at her job. She is always there looking after Emma, but you wouldn’t know. ‘She makes sure Emma has plenty of space and freedom. If they are at dinner, Denise is part of the gathering, but is always on duty.’ The new arrangement marks a departure for Emma, who has seemed determined to try to live a low-key, normal private life unencumbered by a security detail. Post-Potter she went to Brown University in Rhode Island, New England, and Worcester College, Oxford, to study for a degree. When she has appeared in public she has had no visible entourage. A spokesman for Miss Watson, who has homes in  London and New York, declined to comment." ^That's what the dailymail says but here below is what Emma said at the time.

From fansshare.com October 2012, "There was a lot of fuss made recently about the fact that a man who has been stalking Emma Watson managed to get onto her set before being chased off into the woods. It was claimed that Emma was terrified by the incident and feared for her safety.  However, it appears that the claims were not true, as Emma has spoken out about the “incident” stating that nothing of the sort happened. Emma felt that she needed to let everybody know what’s what and hoped to clear up any confusion about the stalker situation. Watson took to her official Twitter account to say, “Ok. Few things to clear up. I was not terrified by a stalker in the woods. And he was not fought off by martial arts experts.#whowrotethisstory”. I don't get this DM article because Emma has had this bodyguard for ten years. I think this might be a great big dose of media sensationalism or maybe a planted story so everyone will go, "Aww poor Emma" because she has said some really dumb things lately. I've seen photos of Denise (the older blonde lady we always see her with) with Emma as far back as 2005 Here they are outside the Regis and Kelly show (USA) in 2005 and to the right currently in 2014

^She still looks 15 doesn't she? I've seen one or two candids of Denise with Emma at Brown. I've read an article from a Brown website (thank anonymous for tipping me off) where they were talking about her bodyguards on campus that followed her around. Here's Emma, some guy and Denise at Brown in the fall of 2010 (I can't find the others)

Here she is talking about stalkers in her GQ interview from last year From gq-magazine.co.uk May 2013, "Did you have stalkers? 'Yes. I do have people who show up from time to time in different parts of the world. I've never really known how to respond; I've never really known if I should be afraid or not. This is how I put it into perspective: thousands of women all over the world have to deal with feeling afraid when they walk home from the Tube, on their way to work, when they go out for a drink. Feeling not safe isn't something that is singular to me or my experience as a woman, and I don't think any of these people mean me any harm. They just tend to be people caught up, who don't really realise what they are doing, and I think it is very important that I don't allow it to isolate me further, to be another reason why I shouldn't go out and meet people or walk down the street. Weird guys sometimes take it too far, and that is it. I just keep a friend with me. I don't have a full-time security guard or anything like that. Even at university I went everywhere completely alone, which looking back was probably a pretty ambitious thing that I tried to do there, but somehow I got away with it. There were times when I did feel stressed and anxious and could probably have done with a bit more support. At the same time I would rather make my own mistakes and learn what I need. I think it is so easy when you get famous to just disengage from having a life and that can make some things really dangerous.'" Remember she told rookie magazine she used to lie about walking to places but had a car waiting for her? She was trying to make it seem she has this normal life. I reckon this could be another little white lie about not having a full-time guard because we've seen Denise with her for years. She's the woman that pushes people away and pulls her from signing autographs and even refuses people. How about other instances like Glastonbury where that big muscular man tailed her everywhere. At airports when Denise is not there she has men which looks to be bodyguards to me. When she went to the Box Night Club she had a bodyguard. They're rare shots because most candids are just of Emma and Denise or Emma and a friend or boyfriend. You really think Emma travels alone? For example

Last photo from 2011: Check this out and seethe altercation You rarely catch her bodyguards photographed other than Denise who looks more than just a bodyguard. I think she's more like a bodyguard/assistant. I bet they are always around but you wouldn't know it. I'd go as far as saying they probably follow her from a distance to make it seem like she's really by herself. Here's something she said in 2009 and it was really stupid From wonderwall.msn.com July 2009 (interview with Dan, Rupert and Emma. she started brown in Sept 09) In this film, Ron has sort of a stalker girlfriend. Has it ever gotten strange where you're dating people who are more interested in dating Harry, Ron or Hermione rather than yourselves? Emma Watson: "I'm dating my stalker, actually." It's dumb to even give a stalker the time or day in a magazine discussing them. It will probably embolden them by fueling whatever twisted fantasies they have in their head. If it were me I would not even mention it. In 2010 she said this From digitalspy.com November 2010, "Emma Watson has revealed that she and her Harry Potter co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint used to hide from their security guards. The actress admitted that she "hates" having bodyguards and prefers to deal with the attention she receives on her own. Watson explained: "I hate having bodyguards and when we were younger, Dan, Rupert and I used to try to hide from the people trying to keep an eye on us." The 20-year-old went on to say that she now feels comfortable traveling on public transport by herself. She added: "Now it's like, 'Really, I'm fine'. I take the train and the bus and, if I don't dress up too much, I'm usually fine. Occasionally people stop me but I'd rather deal with that than not go out at all. That'd be really tragic." In her most recent interview for Elle she said this From snitchseeker.com March 2014, “So while Radcliffe reportedly rarely leaves his house without a bodyguard, Watson memorably began her college career by moving into the freshman dorm-the very definition of exposed. She lopped off her hair, appeared in a student production of Chekhov. There were moment, she says, when she thought, “I don’t know if I can do this. Or if this is sensible anymore.” But she held firm, turning down high-profile work that would interfere with her studies. “I just don’t want a life where I can’t have a life, “she says. “And so I’ve been just unbelievably stubborn about it.” ^Peculiar and then this article comes out about her hired bodyguard. Could it have been Radcliffe's people saying, "Hey, wait a minute" and then ratted Emma out? That last quote, the newer one, is of course a total contradiction from what she said about Brown before. I don't know it's that's the truth or this is some rouse to plant the idea she was heckled out of college life. I don't know but one thing is for sure I don't believe most of what comes out of this girls mouth. I'm like those towns people that had it with the games of the little boy that cried wolf. As for the stalking it's the only thing I'll give her sympathy for. I think it would suck. If it's an over zealous stan or a weirdo I don't think it's cool. If you like or even dislike her there are still lines you should never cross and that includes invading her space. She's just one fake ass actress that lives in her own head that plays make believe and makes millions off it. Then of course she complains about it and manipulates the media and her fan base to cover up "the real Emma Watson". She's a prettily weaved illusion designed to trick you. There is no such thing as the perfect person and just because she is pretty it does not make her perfect girlfriend material. Stans and weirdos please understand this.

[darkeyesshine]

At The Studio with (Sik-K) AMBW

𝐂𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐲'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕

Being wrapped up in a fuzzy cover with shaved legs and no pants on is amazing. I grabbed my glass of red wine that was on the nightstand next to me and took a sip of it as I read through some pages of "The Sun is Also a Star." This is how every Friday night would be. At home chilling alone until my boyfriend Kwon Min-sik (also known as Sik-k) would come from the studio and spend the rest of the night with me. He's a Korean rapper and is blowing up by the second. That's why I understand the late nights, the photoshoots, the paparazzi, and the concerts.

But most of all 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠.

I have a love-hate with touring because I hate it when he would go but I also love it because he's doing it for the fans. They are so loving and supportive of him especially with me. Once the news got out that Korean rapper, Sik-k was dating a black girl some people were disgusted and not impressed with us. But his fans would go at it with anyone on social media who would say anything that wasn't right to me. I got to admit, I love it when they do that. But Sik-k one time went on his Instagram live and kissed me on camera just to show the haters that he doesn't care about what they say he will still be with me anyways.

Kwon was always like this with me and that's what I love about him. He is bold, handsome, smart, loving, caring, and did I already say handsome?

Speaking of him, my phone started to vibrate and I saw that it was Sik-k calling me. Why was he calling me in the middle of the night?

"Hello?" I answered the phone.

"Hey, baby. I need your help with something," He says on the other line.

"Why? Is there something wrong?" I put the wine glass down on my nightstand.

"No..well, yeah. It's not something serious but it is important. You know how I am when it comes to my music," He says and I nodded as if he was here in front of me.

"Yeah, so what do you need help with?" I asked.

"With a song, I am working on. I've been trying to find the right words to say but it's coming out the wrong way and you know you're my inspiration now for songwriting. So, I need you to-

"Come over there?" I finished his sentence, already understanding the situation.

"Yeah, that would be so nice. I know you are getting out of your comfort zone and everything." I could hear how sorry he was.

"No, it's fine, baby. I will be there in a sec," I took the covers off of me and threw on some white sweatpants.

"Thank you so much, Cindy. Call me when you get here," He says before hanging up the phone.

I got up from the bed completely and drunk the rest of my wine before getting dressed into a black crop top and Kwon's jean jacket. It looked oversized on me but I still looked cute. I put on white and grey sneakers before going into the bathroom mirror to check my hair. I had knotless medium braids in so I didn't need to do much with them but I did fix my edges a little bit before walking out of the bathroom. I grabbed my phone and keys before heading out of the house.

The studio was literally ten minutes away from our house but the way I drive I will get there in five minutes. I applied lip gloss while I drove on the streets of South Korea and played some of his songs to get me in the mood for studio time. I was a singer myself but didn't start making music until now. And our fans want us to collaborate with each other, which I find cute. Once I pulled up to the studio, I called Sik-k and he picked up immediately.

"Hey, Cindyyyy. Are you here?"

"Yes, bighead. Open the door for me," I heard him chuckle then scrabbling. It sounded he was walking then he hung up.

Once I parked our 2018 Mythos Black Metallic Audi S4 in the parking lot, I came out and walked towards the building. As I kept walking, I saw Sik-k holding the door for me. He was wearing white sweatpants and a black shirt, the same as me. But the only thing he was wearing different from me was his white jacket and he had on a black beanie.

"Hey, boo," I said once I got in the building with him.

"Hey, sweetcakes." He says before kissing me on the lips. I felt his hand go down to my butt and gave it a light squeeze.

"Sik-k, stop!" I hit his chest playfully causing him to laugh. "Not in public." We started to walk down the halls.

"There is no one around," He did a whole 360 on me and I laughed while shaking my head.

𝐇𝐞'𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐲.

"Not even Jay Park, he's a busy man," I asked curiously as we walked into the neon studio. He sits down on a chair in front of the sound booth.

"Not even him, it's just us." He smiled widely as I sat down on his lap.

"Okay, soooo. What did you need help with?" He wrapped his arms around my midsection as I got comfortable with him.

"Well, the lyrics. I need it to sound romantic because it is a love song and it goes perfectly with the beat."

"You wanna hear it? He asks and I nod before he pressed play on a red button.

The music filled the studio and I nodded my head to the beat. This instrumental had Sik-k written all over it and I loved it. Kwon looked at me the entire time with a smile on his face as I listened to the song and I was mentally smiling.

"I am doing this song with Ph-1 and HAON." He paused the song and I nodded.

"Okay, what do you like to do with me?" I got up from his lap and sat on the other chair next to him.

"Make love?" He smudges. I threw the small pillow behind me that was on the chair to help with back supports at him and he laughed.

"Umm...I like to watch movies with you. I like it when you wear my clothes, like how you are doing now." He smiles at me.

"Yeah, what else?"

"Yeah, I really like the way you dress. Let's start with that." He says before grabbing a pen and writing it down on his cute black notebook that he likes to write his songs in.

"Okay, I will record this." He stands up from the chair. "Then you tell me how it sounds once I am done," He walks into the sound booth and tells me to play the instrumental.

생각만 해보고 있어 beach house La pam-pam-pam, 바다 바람 따닥거려 장작 불에 멍 넌 눈에 넣어도 안 아프니깐 내 눈에 넣어 내 폰 사진첩에 살고 있어 넌 왜 받아야 돼 월세, 쭈욱 살고 있어봐 원한다면 천생 둘이 시작하기 딱인 Feng Shui

Baby 나라를 골라 pick one 2주만 보내고 오자 Week 1, 맛있는 술 마셔 Week 2, new outfit 사러 Nike and all designer My drip wetty, wetty, wetty, wet, wet 내 stance daddy, daddy, daddy bad See me, run it up, see me, f$ck it up 얼른, hurry up, hurry up, yeah

As he went on I sat back into the chair and just enjoy the view of a beautiful man rapping lyrics to a beautiful instrumental, that was probably going to be about me. Even though Sik-k and I have been together for three years, he still gives me goosebumps every time he performs or writes music in front of me. I don't think I will ever get used to it.

"Okay, I am done." I heard him say causing me to pause the instrumental. He walks out of the sound booth and sits next to me again.

"So, how did it sound?" He asks nervously and I smiled at him.

"I don't know. You tell me," I said before I pressed play on the song and his voice came into the speakers. I turned to him and saw that he was bobbing his head which meant that he was enjoying himself. I loved seeing him happy and being able to be comfortable with me.

"Yes!" He gets up from the chair and picks me up surprisingly. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he spun us around in the studio. "Thank you so much, baby."

I kissed him on the lips and he put me down on the black couch that was behind us. We continued to kiss passionately as he hovered over me but someone knocked on the door causing us to look. We saw Jay Park standing by the door, looking at us with a smirk on his face.

"Hey, kids. We just got that couch so don't ruin them, okay?" He says before laughing and we joined him. When our laughter died down, Jay came inside and took a pen.

"We ran out of pens from my side," He says while walking to the door. "Peace out." Jay closes the door behind him and I straighten myself on the couch.

"I thought you told me that he wasn't here," I crossed my arms at Sik-k and he shrugs like the goof that he is.

"My bad." He said before we started to make out on the couch again.