#he's just- he just goin thru some stuff okay

[erregiulydraws]

[popponn]

Hihi, im the same anon that loves ur page!!

the froggys are seriously silly :)

Anyways, can i request some hcs abt bllk boys with a reader who's going thru a depressive episode? im just goin thru stuff rn, if u can't its fine.

So, hows ur day been?

I hope you're well

have a great day! <33

byebye💖

notes: anonnie;;; i hope you are feeling better when you finally read this;;; this took so long, im sorry. i have been busy and there are lot of things going on, but i am fine thank you for asking :> and hey, a depressive episode could be tough. but you got this! okay? try to take it slow and step by step, drink water, eat food, and move around a bit. a light walk or a stretch is okay. like how the clouds always change, things will change. i hope reading this could give you a little happiness, especially when you need it.

isagi

if you are looking for someone who will listen and give practical advice without dismissing your feelings or concerns, honestly he is the one. especially as a boyfriend, you can trust him to be the one who will sit beside you on the sofa while wrapping you in the blanket. will ask you what you want to eat and the moment you decide to fight the cold hard life back, don’t worry, your isagi yoichi will be your #1 supporter! especially if you guys have spent more time in the relationship, he really is good at balancing giving comfort while still giving you trust to walk on your own. though he sometimes couldn’t 100% understand your point of view, but the sincerity in his effort to be always there for you is no joke. he promised every part of him he could give to you and he means every word of it.

bachira

who hurt his baby—he will fight it. somehow. he has this odd sixth sense when it comes to you. just with a glance, he will immediately get how down you feel and what you need. a joke and a cheer up along with many kisses? coming right up. a listener who will hug you like a koala? do you want to do that while cuddling in the bed or in public in front of his friends because he won’t hesitate honestly. just say what you want—if he must eat a cake messily like 5 year old to make you laugh then so be it. will get you out for recreation the moment he could and if he couldn’t that means it’s time for his creativity to shine (and boy does it always shine). but if the one that makes you feel down is someone, bachira is not one for violence but he could you know. if you want. (please stop him.)

rin

if you don’t cry, at best he will be an awkward listener—but a good listener nonetheless. if you cry, though, honestly he will panic. this guy is already not good with his own emotions, so you need to be clear about what you want with him. he is not the best with words though, and advice he offers is usually either “let me just fix this for you” or a straight up detached, objective one that is better offered to someone with a cool head and controlled emotion. therefore, more often than not, he opts to just listen and hold your hand. he will try to help, though, and if he can’t—at the very least you will get a really menacing guard dog who won’t let anyone mess with you while you are trying to get up. (also, go tell him to buy something. his credit card is ready and feeling like he is doing something for you is good for the both of you.)

sae

itoshi gene is harsh and he is somehow worse than his brother in this scenario. he is a naturally critical person towards anything. if you are ready to get your fault pointed out and think up a “what can i do to make this better or avoid this from happening again” go to him, but if you are looking for someone who will listen or give validation, as much as you love him, don’t. him and a terrible headspace is not a good combination. however, a direct “can you hug me?” or a “can you do something for me?” is not completely out of the question—he, after all, still cares about you. high chance he won’t ask, especially if you said you don’t want to say anything, but in this situation the softer part of him who has a hard time saying no to you truly comes out. a movie night, even if it involves the goddamned fries, would happen. he is smart enough to know when to spoil you, especially since he knows your habits and tendencies by heart.

kunigami

the sort of person who sees a hint of gloom on your face and immediately cradles it with a tenderness that no one would expect from someone with his build. he is a good, caring person by nature, if you are looking for someone to help you, he is the best choice. he can be clumsy sometimes and the words he gives to cheer you up have a high chance of being uttered with a lot of pauses in the middle—but the way he acts will probably be enough to bring a smile to your face again (and he will also smile along with you when this happen because by god you are his happiness). all those aside, high chance he can’t give advice, but he will give you top-notch cheering up—words, actions, cuddles, everything—along with genuine validation. (especially after wild card, he has seen hell. “feeling terrible” is something he understands a lot.)

kaiser

for this one i won’t sugarcoat it: jesus christ. why. is there no one else?

jokes aside, as i love to bully him a bit here, objectively—this really depends on the sort of type of person you are. if you are looking for advice or validation or a listener—not him. but if you are the sort of person who prefers a distraction or the “tough love” sort of motivation that is more scathing and heartless—borderline degrading—he is the one. out of spite, his words are probably enough to spur you into action, forgetting whatever blue feeling you have as it has turned into a red raging anger. however, a little note, believe it or not, this actually comes from a caring place in his heart. kaiser is someone with many, many harsh edges—and this comes more from “i rather see you angry and living than seeing you down without me being able to do anything” root that he rather die than say out loud.

nagi

the best you could get is a passive listener. worse you can get is a passive listener who still plays games. the worst you can get is that one scene where isagi has a legitimate concern and gets his hair pulled by this guy. another one who is better to have as a company in seeking distraction for the time than anything. but, despite how admittedly terrible he is in cheering you up with words, he truly makes it up by action when it finally hits him how down and different you are. it will take a few hours or a few days, but he will get there. afterward, expect many small sweet gestures ranging from cute gifts, your favorite snacks, et cetera. your chatroom with him will too suddenly get noisy with many cute stickers and “u ok? :x” for at least a few weeks. (also he is shameless enough to ask out loud to his teammates about what should he do with you when he realizes how stuck he is. so hey. there is that: possible extra brains if you need a solution.)

reo

common knowledge that he never shies away from using that money of his when he needs to and this is one of those situations where he genuinely considers taking you away for a trip so you can feel better near a sunny beach or a peaceful lake—you pick. if you don’t want that, however, this guy is still the best when it comes to understanding you and will be there until you give him a smile. what else do you expect from someone with a complete set of love languages? do watch out though, he is also someone who could get angry pretty quickly, especially when it involves something or someone he cares about—and this time it’s you. on a brighter note, though, this means if you are looking for someone to shit talk with, he is the one. he is a smart caring boyfriend, so talking with him during this time will do a lot of good to you. a good advice along with good validation.

bonus round:

barou — has this very awkward and unique way of cheering you up by getting you to clean the house along with him (and somehow he is less strict with you this time) and then cooking for you after; somehow always works like a charm. yukimiya — do you know all those shoujo manga perfect handsome famous sporty smart boyfriends? this is it. coming to you live. chigiri — shit-talking session that will soon move on to a pep talk that will give you every bit of confidence and drive you to need. a best friend and a boyfriend in one package. one of the people who truly knows and understands how despairing an overwhelming situation could be. karasu — will he tease you a bit like a meanie to distract you, ironically? yes. but if you need an advisor to brainstorm the best possible solution he is also the one.

[loving-delusions]

rambles in the tags because apparently i wasn't done

thinking about lunar hm..

also also i kind of had a thought about lunar being in space, like, when he was still dead with his head blown off by eclipse, and all that

i remember lunar mentioning that he was in space at the time, hence the whole space theme of the song lmao

im thinking.. that this is pretty much the vibes lunar has when he was floating in space. like. he's probably having fun exploring space and playing around with much-needed happiness and a break from the mess, let's be real

this song is just him having fun in space and exploring lol

and i dont know if it ever got confirmed or anything in canon (im not caught up, ahem).... .... but i like to think that lunar's memories while he was in space were gone by the time he was 'reincarnated' by monty into his white-lavender body, hence why he doesn't remember much of what he did while dead/in space

but he still feels nostalgic about it, hence the whole staring up the night sky thing when he's just recently returned to the daycare with Earth

[freyito]

I'm in that 'damn I'm too feminine guess I'll die' phase right now, pretty sure it happens monthly, so, I was wondering if I could ask for Liu Kang with a ftm reader who's normally happy just crashing down one day, specifically because they think they're too feminine for people to perceive them as a guy?

Thank you for writing such amazing stuff btw!! :D

anon, you saved me. you SAVED ME. ive been in such a mood and ive been wanting to write something comforting!!! but i havent been able to think of a prompt and i didnt really have the energy for anything in my inbox. and then you BLESSED me with this absolute banger of a request oh em gee.

and don't worry, you're not alone either anon, im also lowkey goin thru it. twinsies!!!! letting you know, from a very feminine (androgynous, but apparently i seem fem aligned) trans man, its okay to feel this. there really is no definition to masculinity and you are a man regardless of what people say!

added some bonus characters for myyyy self indulgence if you don't mind

cw: male reader, ftm, just fluff, implied romantic relationships w/ all, proofread

ʟɪᴜ ᴋᴀɴɢ (ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴏɴᴜꜱᴇꜱ) + ɪɴꜱᴇᴄᴜʀᴇ ꜰᴛᴍ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

-Liu Kang...

is almost disheartened at the sudden change of behavior. Just the other day you had been so vibrant, bringing color, a certain tone to the world. Something even he didn't think was possible. When he had met you, he was smitten. With your positivity, your optimism, and above all else, you.

To find you, quiet, sullen, hiding from him, it was heartbreaking. The absence of your voice and your light was something that very clearly rubbed off on him.

Finding out you've broken because you do not feel yourself, because you cannot look in the mirror without seeing the man you aren't, it fills him with sorrow. Because, he sees you as a man, regardless. He always will, and it will never change.

To be honest, he's quite unsure how to comfort you. He's by your side, reassuring you that you are masculine, that he and many, many others see you as a man. And he wants to make sure you see that. The best he can be is sympathetic, it hurts that he can't necessarily understand you on a deeper level.

However, that does not change how he sees you. Nothing defines masculinity, nor what makes a man in his eyes. Even as a god, he believes there really is no definition to anything, aside from what you make it.

He lets you know exactly that. There is nothing in the world that could change his mind, no insecurity- no matter how big- you find will ever change his view of you.

-Kuai Liang...

originally thinks you are playing a game with him. So suddenly, you disappear. He looks for his sunshine around every corner, every closet, any possible hiding place he can think of. You are the light of his life, your shining brilliance cannot be matched.

So when he finds you sulking in your room, hiding, back turned from him and the world, suddenly concern eclipses his light. The pit in his stomach forms, ever expanding with worry.

Hiding because you do not see yourself as... yourself. You can almost hear his heart shatter. You are afraid other people see this, too. That you are not a man in anyone's eyes.

At first, he believes someone had put this through your head. Someone had told you this, had made you feel this way. And the fire burned within him, something telling him to find whoever had said this to you. Yet, when he finds out it is simply you perceiving everyone else's looks towards you like this, his mind slows down.

Kuai insists you are wrong. His usually calm temper replaced by him adamantly denying that you are seen as anything else. You are a man, regardless. He has never seen you as anything else but one.

Knowing you put yourself down this this claws at him, he partially feels guilty. But he puts in the effort to make you feel exactly like who you are, to bring your radiant light back into his life again.

-Johnny Cage...

can't stand loosing your positivity, your light is an ever-burning warmth that keeps him rather grounded, despite his wit and charm.

He's plunged into sudden darkness when he wakes up to you with your back turned to him, pushed as far away as possible at the edge of the bed. In an instant, it feels like his whole world is ripped away from him.

But, he's determined to make sure it isn't, and he begins with the questioning almost immediately. This was the quickest you've ever seen him wake up. And to find the reason you've pushed yourself away from him is because you don't see yourself how he sees you, and that you are ashamed- no, no. He can't have that.

Johnny cuts you off immediately, showering you and pampering you with affirmations. He does not allow you any room to let your mind twist your identity. He makes it known that you are a man, he sees you as a man, everyone sees you as a man.

He's serious, too. All traces of the signature Cage tone are wiped out, his voice soft, yet heavy. He doesn't let you, not even for a second, get back into your dysphoric mind-space. He tries, real hard, anyways.

Johnny only lets up when he finally sees even a potential smile on your face. And once he's so sure he's affirmed your gender,- and you've affirmed yourself- he's back to his over-the-top persona, bathed in wit and perhaps even a little bit of pride.

© freyito, 2023 | masterlist | queue | kofi DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN OR USE FOR AI/AI CHATBOTS.

[pondslime]

Do you think that what Bo said about him and his brothers ending up in foster care was also a lie? I've seen some who think he wasn't lying about that but I don't think the timing and the codependency him and his brothers have adds up to them being separated for a bit, ya know? Sorry for bombarding you with a question but ugh there's just so much untouched lore potential I wanna screeeeeam

*cracking knuckles* oh baby u just opened the floodgates I am about to be SO fckn annoying

so personally, I very much believe that bo's spinning an ENTIRE crock of shit during that conversation w/carly and wade

something that I think we all need to highlight more is that the baby idiot himself has SUCH a flair for the dramatic. our favorite caveman is a chronic theater kid. like, okay acting 101? okay thespian? okay daytime soap OPERA??? the scene he sets for this fuckmurdermayhem is just...................SO grotesque and dramatic and entirely UNNECESSARY LMAO

he's a weirdo who has sequestered himself in a town full of corpses and u just KNOW the gaps between the wax nonsense are LONG and BORING and he's ANTSY

the whole time he's chasing carly thru town he's just. blissed out. goin hehehehehhehehehehe be vewwy vewwwy quiet!! we're huntin' wabbits!!! elmer fudd-mode FULLY engaged

he GRINS before he's shot by a fckin crossbow?????????? BABY???? WHAT ARE U DOING??????

he is truly on some other shit!! convinced his bargain bin broadway play will go off without a hitch and he will somehow??? be getting a standing ovation for his foolishness????

sighing DREAMILY

this is the most fun he's had in possibly months, and he's living la vida loca. he's that one tiktok of all the kids performing summer loving in the denny's. this is his golden globes. his bafta (big ass fucking truck absurdity). his academy award winning performance, starring his raging boner & very little foresight!!!!

I think there might be LIL grains of truth to his story, ofc. the best lies have small kernels of truth to them, and bo's lies seem to work the best when he adds those in (mentioning that he's close to the deceased to incur pity/getting nick to agree to follow him to a second location by mentioning that they might have gone up to the house)

but I do believe that most of it is complete bullshit lmao

there is absolutely no way in hell that those boys EVER got separated. to me!!! at least!! nope. they were in that miserable little house together the whole time. vincent and bo's interactions together speak to years of sibling tension and growing resentment. lester's inclusion in all of this w/his role of like. the ferryman to the fckin UNDERWORLD that is ambrose. is so v a marker of his attachment to his older brothers

they're all inextricably linked!!!!!!

bo 100% killed victor tho. u do not mime shooting urself in the head when discussing ur dad's death if u did not shoot him point blank range w/a smile on ur face. u simply do not. not entirely sure if he killed trudy. feel like that might've been vincent/a group job. or. pet theory. she DID just die of natural causes. or. other pet theory. she was actively participating/aware of the first couple murders. we'll never know but. huh

I also REALLY don't buy the "trudy got a cyst in her brain" stuff. I've played around w/it in a couple fics, but I v much think the probablity of it being a complete fabrication? oh 99.9%. most definitely. talking about ur mom getting strapped to the bed & screaming loud enough for the whole town to hear? hsdfjhfdsjhsdf BOY GOODBYE.

like????? that's SUCH a deranged thing to tell someone u just met. and it v much seems like smthn he tossed out to purposefully unnerve them. he didn't have to say that, but he DID. bc he loves the cat and mouse game. that's why he creeps on them @ the campsite. he's so deeply abnormal

it's all this weird sad little story that's designed to make u uncomfortable. also. sidenote......................in this version of the scene that he's set, he's the mourning parishioner sadly recounting a tale of woe that he's notably detached to. who is he in relation to the story he weaves? nobody. just an observer.

if life could be a fckin dream boseph!!!

BTW. he does this in the original script, but it's somehow EVEN weirder.

he is. and I CANNOT stress this enough. roleplaying as a kid in the neighborhood that trudy liked and would spoil.

???????????????????????????????????????????

babygirl is truly going thru it!!!!!! babygirl this is EMBARRASSING!!!!!! ur MOMMY ISSUES!!!!!!!!!!! BABYGIRL!!!!!!!!! they are SHOWING!!!!! they are STAPLED to ur forehead!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

he's so ABNORMAL!!!!!!! I need to make out w/him!!!!!!!! RN!!!!!!!!!!!

vincent waiting 2 hear what dumbass alternate reality bo has cooked up for this batch of tourists:

I always talk about how dumb bo is. and I mean every word of it. I really do. but I do think he's got a couple braincells.

I v much feel like he's v much a creature of habit. he's been doing this shebang for years n years and he knows how it goes. he gets his fuckin n suckin and vincent gets his wax sculptures. bada bing bada boom. showtime baby.

his "plan" is v much as solid as a plastic bag drifting thru the wind, wanting to start again. he is fr hinging this whole thing on a series of events, that, should they not happen, he has no alternative for. and he is so weird and so strange and cannot deviate from his script LEST he get pissymad and ruin everything. he's so dumb. I'm so v in love w/him.

TL; DR!!

I wrote this for my peabrain video essay script and it's all the above bullshit nonsense. but more coherent:

& an unrelated bit. bc it's still my favorite bit of the script & the only part I recorded a voice clip for sfjdhdfjshdfs

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

I FORGOR THERE'S ALSO LIKE... a fucking MYRIAD of alive and inbetween-alive and dead and undead and weird fucking shit in pact/otherverse. if we Wanted to go in that direction or even just make a secondary au there is like,,, a TON of material there for "died badly and came back about it". not gonna be more specific abt it bc i would go on forever n also don't wanna give u spoilers but like. there's SO MUCH there. if u want a creepy ass half-alive william wisp creature type thing. god i gotta stop talking abt pact to u i just say the vaguest fucking shit BUT let's come back to this in a couple business months ok??? >:333

HIIII HI HI OKAY FUCK I FORGOT THIS ONE WAS STILL IN MY INBOX. WOAGH. not goin g to get toooo into the pact stuff yet bc i havent started reading it but definitely putting a pin in this to come back to. ohhh i cant wait to put william thru the horrors some more. i love dying badly and coming back about it . i think for nhw i am leaning more toward the brian fridge style "looks and feels and is extremely horrid but he never actually dies for real" because ive been thinking about that NONSTOP since u brought it up but. just know i WILL be thinking about william when i start reading pact. man.

[papillonthepirate]

A commission I did for @dragonmarquise for one of their friends :D This was an interesting piece to work on since it had to tell a story and I wanted a really consistent tone to show the progression of the emotions. This was a little tough since there was a large time gap between me starting and finishing it due to some sudden health problems I suffered. I have to say that both of the people who requested this one were so very gracious about the delays and just really lovely to work with. This message was from the friend to explain the piece-

(Hi, im the person who wanted this commissioned in the first place, how are you all doin)

Alright so if it isnt obvious, i headcanon Mr. Match and Ms. Madd as trans! I am trans myself, and maybe this is weird or selfish to say, but im kinda projecting myself onto Mr. Match, like he is basically my goal for my transition in terms of looks. My girlfriend feels the same about Ms. Madd (she is also trans and gorgeous just sayin :-)

This set of pics is also sort of a “where we have been and where we are goin” kinda story if that isnt obvious already. I like to think the two of them got through their transitions okay, because me and my girlfriend are kinda hoping for the same for ourselves. And we are gettin there, little by little!

Those of you out there who are LGBT+ and like to headcanon characters to be the same as yourself, and imagine how they could get through tough times to help inspire yourself to get thru it, im the same! Others might judge you for it or think its weird, well we are not doin any harm so dont let it bother you okay? Headcanons are fun and can help you explore your own identity and feelings and stuff too, theres no shame in that. So Happy Pride all year round, not just June! :-)

[everybodyloveshippos]

What has been your favorite moment of your current dnd campaign?

Ahhh okay this is def very hard to answer since this campaign started like,,, march 2020 (in person for a bit, then online, thankfully back to in person now) SO....LONG WINDED POST AHEAD,,,

So we’ve been at it for a while! And things get pushed to the back of my mind or are in my notebook somewhere-BUT we did start a discord channel called ‘that one time when’ where we put memorable moments. So I will do my best to list my top three since i could never sift thru this entire crazy adventure and pick just one <3

The first time Valentine cast revivify! We had just levelled up, I had just learned the spell, and I had just bought diamonds prior to us going to the Cassalanter ball (kinda spoilers for dragonheist ahead). So some cult nonsense starts goin down in the basement, we jump in (to the soundtrack of ballroom blitz) and we’re holding our own, kicking ass, but then victorio casts power word kill to instantly kill Hawkwood (artificer half-elf) and it was our first PC death and we were kinda freaking out.

It was a big character moment for a lot of our party bcus it was one of the highest stake things that had happened thus far. Lucien ripped out victorios throat (lucien is a drow werewolf) despite his hesitation over it (past trauma with being used as a weapon and monster) and valentine realized that ‘holy shit. I care about these people more than I care to admit. What a scary thought.” and then flew over to revive him. The imagery was just very cool and pretty to imagine, with high arches and valentine’s aasimar wings and eyes glowing white gold, holding hawkwood to them as the diamond shatters and the pieces rise in the air and he wakes up! I actually drew this a long time ago here

Another moment that had us losing our MINDS (one of us literally) was we were facing down Yandathul, a mindflayer (i think he’s an Ulitharid) who 3 party members have personal beef with (he experimented on our drow twins, disguised as a drow himself) (he ate nick’s uncle’s brain in front of him. Nick is a Githyanki. He has beef w mindflayers on sight anyways) Also we’d just found the corpse of a Draegloth, another experiment and our ally at the time that he had killed.

So basically we were fighting this guy, and he fuckin….Subdues nick and then eats gothi’s (our dwarf paladin, a newer addition to the party) brain in front of him. Then  he casts planeshift, and as we’re all about to get sent to fuckin WHO knows where, we could all land anywhere, not even together, nick-you know how you need to hit the right tune/frequency to travel to a different plane in dnd or something?-Well he screams for us all to grab his hands as planeshft is cast and he screams out the note that’s gonna make sure we all go TOGETHER AT LEAST to the astral sea, where he’s from It was just so intense and insane and emotional bcus nick was doing a scream of fury and grief and frustration but also doing bard stuff to keep us all safe. And it came after a PC death, and we rlly all almost got yeeted to separate corners of the universe. So we all just. Floated in the astral sea for a bit. With a corpse Valentine (my pc, cleric) couldnt revivify bcus his brain got eaten. I think it was our wildest moment. It stands out a lot because we lost. weirdly enough, the final countdown is a song that syncs up w this moment super well.

God anon im sorry to wax poetic theres soooo much more and obvi im biased to valentine’s moments but genuinely, i think my favourite moment was:

Nick slapping his abusive and terrible father on the deck of their warship in front of his crew. I gasped Out Loud in person it was So good i was shocked. It slapped. And so did nick. Lol

[bugmistake]

this turned into a whole thing so it's goin under a cut! talking about my cousin who was helping me thru some anxiety stuff

it's really rare that i feel loved and like. Seen by my extended family but my god when i feel it. it's like . an avalanche. i was on a plane with them recently and i am..... a nervous flier. turbulence is my absolute worst enemy. and my cousin was next to me on the flight and he was me kind of like. tensed up and shaking a little after a rough takeoff and he was like hey man. do you have headphones? and i said yeah but i forgot to download a podcast . and he was like ok and gave me one half of his wired headphones and played some very soothing synthpop and i crashed RIGHT out. and later after we landed i was like hey could you send me that playlist we were listening to on the plane? i really liked it! and he said oh it wasn't a playlist i was just queueing up songs i thought you would vibe with :) and i was like OH OKAY. THANKS! YOU'RE THE ONLY MOTHERFUCKER IN THIS CITY WHO CAN HANDLE ME.

also last christmas i got ... very very very high like toooooooo high and he held my hand cuz i was freaking outttttt and i fell asleep holding his hand. he rules. he's so chill. i cannot imagine being that calm.

and my other cousin (his brother) came and stood with me when i got pulled over by airport security and they rifled through my whole shit. like the full suitcase. and he didn't say anything he just stood there but it kept me from feeling like i was going to float away :~) anyways. it's nice to be around people who get it. also this cousin invited me to come stay with him and his girlfriend for a weekend in the summer ........ i am not used to feeling this close with family. it freaks me out a little! but 2024 is about vulnerability and doing scary stuff so im gonna DO IT!!!!!

[tfpishere]

Okay i tgink im gonna buy mouthwashing so im writing down what i think/know just from the stuff ive seen on my dash

Curly:

Hes the captain. Fucked up thru an accident? Maybe a ship crash? Idfk. He knows they sell mouthwaash? Maybe? Tried to help anya but didntg do enough? You can close his mouth for an achievement.

Jimmy:

Assaulted anya. Has some fucked up thing goin with curly. Is he his caretaker. Also i t hink he crashed the ship.

Anya: She looks kinda gloomy but if i had to be on a ship with someone who assalted me id be upset too. Her favorite pokemon is glaceon. Im p sure she gets an axe at some point ?

Daisuke:

I dunno much abt him but he seems fun. Token Hawaiian shirt-wearer.

Swansea: all i know is hes grumpy and old

I will update this once ive finished the game

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde, John Egbert, Harry Anderson Egbert

Candy, page 38

ROXY: sup john

ROXY: long time no see

ROXY: well alright then pal

ROXY: i do believe u know the way to the living room

JOHN: yeah, yep.

JOHN: thanks.

JOHN: sorry for staring like an idiot.

JOHN: it’s...

JOHN: i just got done with a whole week of feeling weird about hanging out in my dad’s old house again.

JOHN: I kind of forgot to think about how it would be surreal coming back here, too.

JOHN: some kind of nostalgia whiplash, i guess.

ROXY: fair enough yo

ROXY: harry andersons out if u were wonderin

ROXY: hell scoot back home later so if you make it thru round 1 of awkward ex-family convos im happy to say you can be rewarded with another

JOHN: oh, cool.

JOHN: i’d like to see him, if…

JOHN: if it’s okay with both of you.

ROXY: ya we chatted bout it

ROXY: but like i said

ROXY: one thing at a time

ROXY: lets me n u tear this ol egbert/lalonde estrangement band-aid right the fuck off n see what we got goin on underneath it

JOHN: sounds like a plan.

JOHN: so, uh.

JOHN: i’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently.

JOHN: and i’ve realized some things.

JOHN: some stuff that involves you and some that doesn’t, but all things i think you deserve to know.

JOHN: whew.

JOHN: ok lemme think where to start...

JOHN: you know how jake left jane?

JOHN: i mean, i assume you know.

JOHN: though, uh, no offense, but jane’s version might be...

JOHN: skewed.

ROXY: oh lmao nah i didnt hear it from janey

ROXY: harry anderson filled me in on wat he got thru the teen grapevine

JOHN: oh!

JOHN: are you guys not...

JOHN: nevermind.

JOHN: i’m sorry, i came to apologize for my shit, not pry into your business.

JOHN: we don’t have to talk about jane if you don’t want to.

ROXY: janey n me havent been super tight of late

JOHN: ah.

JOHN: what about politics not coming between friends and all that?

ROXY: lmao well turns out sometimes someones politics make it p clear what kind of friends they value

ROXY: or dont

ROXY: and idk sometimes people you used to like when you were a teen grow up to be assholes or w/e!!

ROXY: i think i was clingin to somethin just to prove to myself that i was doin stuff right

ROXY: ol rolal

ROXY: hella normal

ROXY: v good at sticking with friends

ROXY: the more i thought abt it the more i figured holdin on to that one thing made me lose out on some other shit

ROXY: u might relate

JOHN: haha, you got me there i guess.

ROXY: anyways

ROXY: im not tryna take up all ur big speech time w/ my stuff

ROXY: you were tellin me about how jake n janey finally went splitsways and how it gave you some kind of epiphany

JOHN: no, it’s cool!

JOHN: i’m glad to hear it.

JOHN: we can come back to your shit after my shit, maybe.

JOHN: but yeah, jake, he uh...

JOHN: he and tavros are living with me now.

JOHN: i think for the foreseeable future. we were expecting jane to have kind of a fit about it, but all we’ve gotten so far are some divorce papers.

JOHN: if she knows where jake is and she hasn’t had a drone fleet dispatched to nuke my house off the planet i think that’s a good sign she’s actually just letting them go?

JOHN: which is kind of surprising, but, uh. good, i guess.

ROXY: ok ill b the first 2 admit that janes turned into kind of a jerk lately but u no shes not actually like

ROXY: literally evil

ROXY: lol

JOHN: that’s debatable!

ROXY: sry to disappoint but janes just a person and you cant actually blame her for everything that went wrong in our marriage like i was her helpless thrall or somethin

JOHN: that’s not what i was saying...

ROXY: ok neither of us came here to argue about janey did we

JOHN: you’re right. let’s just not talk about her.

ROXY: yea

JOHN: anyway...

JOHN: i’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how things got to be like they are.

JOHN: i guess i’ll just come out and say it.

JOHN: i completed fucked up your entire life.

JOHN: i’m not going to pretend like there are two sides here. it’s my bad, totally.

JOHN: like, not just what happened to our marriage, though it’s also true that that’s completely my fault.

JOHN: but even before that...

JOHN: i think i fucked up on just this massive, fundamental level, and it’s what i did—

JOHN: or, well, what i didn’t do—

JOHN: that caused every stupid bullshit thing about the way this world is.

JOHN: none of this was supposed to be this way.

JOHN: honestly, it doesn’t feel right that we got married at all, does it?

JOHN: your life was heading in this whole other direction with callie, and i just...

JOHN: i dunno. i just kind of took that from you.

JOHN: i think i ended up taking a lot of decisions from a lot of people.

JOHN: everything took a backseat to what i wanted.

JOHN: whatever cosmic significance the lives here do or don’t have, all the pointless suffering i’ve created is... inhumane. and—

ROXY: oh nah ill stop u rite there my man

ROXY: im sorry john ilu but this is some hot steamin horseshit

JOHN: what?!

ROXY: its some real jerkoff emoji stuff is all im sayin!!

ROXY: you think you choice mattered so much that no one elses could measure up?

ROXY: n then what

ROXY: did u get what u wanted?

ROXY: did your life end and the points got tallied and you came out on top or like what?

ROXY: still p much seems like were movin to me

ROXY: and you sure dont seem like ur winnin so wheres all this good shit you got that you gotta go around handin out apologies for?

ROXY: also damn dude while were at it!!

ROXY: u forgot to actually say sorry in that apology!

JOHN: no, i didn’t — i just meant...

JOHN: i’m sorry for fucking up your life, or making it not—

ROXY: i like my life!!!

ROXY: i mean it aint perf and i got my share of fuckups n mistakes in there but you dont get to tell me its fucked up

ROXY: or that it isnt real or somethin

ROXY: its mine!

ROXY: i mean i felt... somethin i guess

ROXY: but its not just you

ROXY: youve never been the only player in this game u kno

ROXY: do u not remember who all was there when this all kicked off?

ROXY: me n callie wouldna told u u had a choice if it was all just some meaningless bs

ROXY: its not like i was ever some master seer of all that ever was or will be but i do know a lil bit abt what coulda gone down if things were different

ROXY: and u know what

ROXY: i like the way things turned out just fuckin fine

ROXY: so maybe u could stop wastin precious eternity thinkin ur so special that its ur fault everyones not perfectly happy

JOHN: i just kept wanting to find ways to make everything make sense, you know?

JOHN: but maybe it just fucking doesn’t.

ROXY: i know we became grownups in a world built specifically n cosmically for us

ROXY: so i get wanting to find a pattern in everything

ROXY: but not everything has 2 b that deep

ROXY: n when u think abt it

ROXY: lookin at it that way, like evrythin has to be this elaborately purposeful heroic design to be worthwhile

ROXY: is actually p shallow

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: yeah, i guess.

JOHN: i’m sorry. it’s just so hard to not feel like a total asshole.

JOHN: maybe i’m not some grand vizier of destroying time and space or whatever.

JOHN: but we KNOW that there’s a canon timeline out there.

JOHN: and it seems really obvious to me that we aren’t in it anymore.

ROXY: so what

JOHN: “so what”???

ROXY: yea

ROXY: so what

ROXY: tf do i care that theres some other reality out there some1 arbitrarily decided was the “real” one

ROXY: whats that have to do with the life i have now

ROXY: what is there actually that makes this one mean less than that one to the ppl who r actually in it

JOHN: you never feel like it would’ve been better if things had gone a different way?

JOHN: magic or no, i could have done a lot differently, for you especially.

JOHN: stuck around, or... fuck.

JOHN: stayed out of your way to begin with.

JOHN: let you and callie do your thing, or do whatever it was you seemed to be headed off to do.

JOHN: i just didn’t expect it to be me, after...

ROXY: nah dont say that

ROXY: i mean i accept ur apology this time but

ROXY: theres obvs all kinds of ways shit coulda gone

ROXY: and tbh back then

ROXY: with her...

ROXY: mostly i think i just wanted to do stuff right

ROXY: not that i knew wtf that even meant lmao

ROXY: which was prob the problem lmao lmao lmao

ROXY: just like

ROXY: we had this big fresh as hell start at bein people!

ROXY: i had all these conflictin thoughts abt how to be me in the first place

ROXY: like what it meant to date a beautiful skull alien

ROXY: sexualitywise and genderwise and person in generalwise

ROXY: for a while there i didnt know if i wanted ppl to think of me as a woman at all

JOHN: ah, i didn’t know.

JOHN: well, i guess maybe i wondered?

JOHN: but the way young idiot me would have wondered, so not that deeply.

JOHN: and it seemed like you’d forgotten all about it when we got together.

ROXY: i hadnt forgotten about it

JOHN: do you want to talk about it...?

ROXY: i coulda told you then but i kinda felt embarrassed abt flip floppin with my identity i think

ROXY: mean it isnt like i grew up with big airquotes society tellin me what was right n wrong like u did

ROXY: so it wasnt any kind of shamefest

ROXY: just a lot of abstract hypotheticals wed only just started talking about and never got very far into

ROXY: just idk i thought i might do things one way but then i stopped hangin out with callie as much

ROXY: its not like i stopped thinkin abt it

ROXY: or her

ROXY: but it never rly came up with anyone else and i didnt rly feel like i could talk abt it with you so i never brought it up again

JOHN: i’m really sorry you felt that way, roxy.

ROXY: its ok its not ur fault

JOHN: but you don’t regret it?

JOHN: not going for that stuff, and instead just... marrying me?

JOHN: i’m not asking so you can absolve me, i’m just impressed.

JOHN: how do you not second guess every choice you make?

ROXY: i havent stuck my head in the timeline vortex like u have so i dunno what its like to see other options

ROXY: i just do things the best way i think to do em and then shrug n hope it works out?

ROXY: i dont think i can regret anything

ROXY: theres not only one right way to be me imo

ROXY: i like the me i am

ROXY: its not like i went n decided “actually hell ya love to be a woman n do all the shit on the woman checklist”

ROXY: i get that thats prob what it looks like outside of my own self but i dont care abt that

ROXY: sorry lol im not good at this whole explainin what transpires in my brain thing

ROXY: idk this life ive been livin gave me harry anderson

ROXY: that kinda outweighs anything else just for me personally

ROXY: n its not like i ever totally quit thinkin abt that gender stuff

ROXY: i just found a different way to work it out than maybe i was originally gonna

ROXY: i...

ROXY: but lmao john were just adults

ROXY: were not dead!

ROXY: idk i mean were only what... barely middle aged in regular human years?

ROXY: we got all kinds of hypothetical but still prolly finite eternity to work our shit out

ROXY: who tf knows

ROXY: its not like you figure out who you are when youre 23 and then the rest of ur whole life is just sittin back watchin ur shit fall apart or not

ROXY: i mean maybe thats been it for u so far

JOHN: haha. ouch.

ROXY: i just dont think im anywhere near done buildin those roxy self actualization train stops

ROXY: who the fuck can say how many more i got lined up

ROXY: same goes for u

ROXY: if youre willing to look at this life as more than a cosmically pointless dead end failure that is

JOHN: i guess...

JOHN: there’s literally nothing to do but keep moving forward.

JOHN: i may as well not be a big fucking downer about it if i don’t have to be.

ROXY: thats the spirit

ROXY: weve got a million billion lifetimes ahead of us john

ROXY: u dont even KNOW all the ways u got left to fuck up in!!

ROXY: hows that for some inspiration??!

JOHN: it’s...

JOHN: it’s pretty fucking inspirational, roxy.

JOHN: thank you for trusting me with this personal stuff.

JOHN: i know partly you were telling me all that to kick my sadsack ass, but i know you don’t talk about this kind of thing every day.

ROXY: to be real i hadnt even let myself think abt it every day

ROXY: so thanks for lettin me ramble at u out loud instead of just almost thinkin abt it once every few years

JOHN: i guess sometimes it takes hearing the same shit over and over until it sticks.

JOHN: that’s mostly an own on myself by the way.

ROXY: lmao were just rippin off those bandaids left n right over here

ROXY: a coupla professional issue discussers

JOHN: yeah, i’m frankly baffled by how fucking good we are at this?

JOHN: where was this when we sucked so hard at being married?

ROXY: buried under a shocking number of issues is my guess

JOHN: well, it’s nice to throw a few off, for once.

ROXY: feel free to communicate with me instead of spendin the next 300 years in a silent prison of your own making if u so desire

JOHN: hey harry anderson.

JOHN: it’s really, really good to see you.

JOHN: do you wanna go for a drive?

HARRY ANDERSON: yeah, dad.

HARRY ANDERSON: that could be cool.

[heylinfanclub]

Texts to send to my brother about his neurodivergent wife who ran away to holland with their kid and how he treats me and how I think it reflects on his marriage—- plus a video.

Stuff that make me think of me and Kim and potentially [your kid]. Just cause. Hm. Lots of people in the family (not just you, but Scott, my parents, the church people who support me— under all the love they give—) give the vibe of ‘I’m not going to do any research on your condition, I’m going to constantly invalidate it and regurgitate misinformation about this thing you’ve had all your life and will have all your life, give you advice that you can’t act on because of your disorder I refuse to research, make you feel like shit, etc— then blame you for being sensitive and different’.

Older people think the ‘you’re just different, everyone’s different’ is comforting but it’s actually a platitude that stymies real conversation about an actual issue that they want to avoid because it’s ~confusing~ and they don’t want to ~bother~. They just want the other person to be ~normal~. They never actually accept that difference!

They don’t get that the differences mean they NEVER WILL BE NORMAL. and that it’s OKAY. And should be. ‘Different’ is not and never will be a proper definition of the real issue a person is facing!! It’s not!! They told you the diagnosis they have!! Google it bare minimum! Become an expert if you LOVE THEM. Otherwise it’s just a cruel show of a lack of care and compassion, an utter disregard for another persons struggles as anything more than a warped figment of your personal imagination.

If ya can’t quote Browns Model of Executive Impairment in ADHD (2005), ya can’t tell me what I do or don’t struggle with.

TLDR: My therapist once said that children get traumatized not because they suffer, but because they SUFFER ALONE. And kids with neurodevelopmental disorders are prone to being traumatized BECAUSE of their mental health leaving them stigmatized and ostracized and feeling like Nobody understands and Nobody Ever Will (let alone the people most important to them!). At that point. Being Alone becomes a shield from disappointment. So. I do think of [your cHILD] and what she might be goin thru. Cause I went through it too. And I didn’t have the words to express it for 26 years. Probably more still. And I never got to have a close friendship with my parents because of it. Why I could tell dad ‘you’re a good man but I’d never be friends with you if you weren’t my family. Because you could never be truly concerned with my struggles. Only concerned that I’m not meeting *expectations*.’

And despite this text being an agonizing call to action to PLEASE do some modern research on things impacting your family: the video also said ‘it’s okay if they don’t understand, as long as they don’t stop you from meeting your needs however you need to’ and Augh the agony of accepting that alsooo. But putting that into actionable words is like: I said I couldn’t brush my teeth so I made strategies to try to get myself into it. YOU SAID ‘OR YOU CAN JUST KEEP ON TOP OF IT (an IDIOTIC STATEMENT)’. 100% unnecessary and WORTHLESS commentary. I stopped being friends with people for less.

https://youtu.be/Gej2YNMLzrc?si=IZNlcpSktTBkJ4A8

[acaiasahi]

cw: ranting abt my job / cursing lolzies

oop... this girl that quit before i started working full time warned me abt my boss n basically was like "she may seem sweet now, but once she gets comfortable w u, she's fuckin hell" n i think i js saw a glimpse of it bc i asked to come in 30 mins later than my original time bc of some family stuff n she was like "that seems ok but any later than that, i will meal violate. this shouldn't be a common thing bc it ruins ppls meals and breaks" n i was like ofc professional n like "def understand! ty for being accommodating. is there any way i can make this process easier/smoother for u?" n she hasn't responded yet but zamn... i totally get that but this is literally my first time EVER asking for u to extend my start time since i started. u literally have asked me on multiple occasions if i can stay a couple hrs longer and i've said yes each time. i fr don't wanna be THAT worker bc 15/30 mins is definitely not enough for a break, esp bc the us work system sucks absolute balls but like i said, it's my first time asking for a simple change like that... kinda mean how she came in kinda crazy w the thunder n shiii. i do appreciate her saying that she hopes everything's okay n she obviously doesn't know that my uncle's in the hospital, nor does she know that he js came back from a surgery but damn... i thought she'd be a lil nicer bc u don't always know what ppl r goin thru yk? :/ i guess beggars can't be choosers, i'll take what i can get ig. idk, i might even been in the wrong/being dramatic but i just wanna make sure my uncle's doing okay, he is my godfather after all 🫡

[angabby-zzz]

ok back on this point since i think i can make an okay thread on this now....

so ive mentioned the update about angel moving schools very early into elementary. tbh i dont have any idea for where specifically he went but it wasnt a very major move ig? (like this is all in the same state and like. city 👍)

and that isnt like very important on its own ig. like he was a pretty normal kid those first 2 yrs. like hes always been quiet and kinda shy but like. hes literally just 5 years old its ok. probably did have 1 friend or person he hung around with but the bond wasnt so strong since everyone kinda just knew each other or yk

but then jonah came along. and idrk what happened but basically they moved and ines n jonah were part of his family even more than before. or something. anyway yk. new school. hes like still shy and even more so cuz hes going to a new school. but its not bad. he would have a friend in 1st grade eventually but they split up. same thing happened in 2nd grade. either cuz of switching schools or being held back. but idk it was cool he didnt totally fit in but also he was still included enough and had someone to play with

but then 3rd grade is where it got like. Bad. he had no friends. something weird was going on with his ability to stay awake and focused. which didnt help at all when he started to struggle with what they were learning in class. so idk like it was just Not his year. like yk it wasnt Super Mega Ultra bad like suddenly he cant stay up for more than a few minutes or anything but you could definitely tell smth was up. at first it was like kinda chalked up to be some kind of early bloomer thing. like some kind of shift with how much sleep he needs or smth. which like was alr. but the focus and struggling was different. he would ask his mom for help at home obvie but when she would recommend asking his teacher for help as well instead of waiting he would just nod along but like. not do that anyway whether it be cuz he was too anxious to or he just like. forgot that was an option in the moment ig. not rlly helping that he also feels like. bad about how hes doing yet cant figure out whats wrong with him [this is when his interest in drawing kinda kicks off cuz he doesnt rlly care for reading but he does want to make some kind of thing to be there for him when he needs cheering up or distraction]

anyway yeah that happens and nothings rlly improving and his teacher eventually is like yeah no hes just not showing a very good grasp on anything etc etc id recommend he repeat the grade. which is like very shocking to irene cuz she didnt think it was That bad. but anyway she takes this in2 consideration. and like she has this conversation with angel about what hes been goin thru n how he shouldve said more about it and whatever. so he finds out abt how he'll be redoing 3rd grade and hes like so sad. and like idk that happens. then irenes like also were gonna do a sleep study 2 c if like that can tell us anything

which it like. totally does and turns out hes hashtag narcoleptic. n yeah idk. except irenes too like idk. afraid to get him on any kinda meds since hes so young so they just like work on managing his sleep schedule n stuff n like figuring out ways to keep him not so distracted n everything esp for when school rolls around again

[i should also mention those symptoms from his adhd are like kinda just thought to be from his narcolepsy? like oh you cant focus in class. its cuz youre tired i bet. your hand eye coordination isnt that good. its probably cuz your brain is too tired to work properly like that. idk. like it kinda works out since hea got the less active side of adhd]

so then yeahh it does and angels like. stressed out cuz hes gotta get used to new people and like doing everything over again. but also hes gotta lock in. which is kinda hard when you think about that first bit again. but anyway yeah

the first few days are like whatever. cuz you dont rlly do any type of work anyway since its. the first few days. but idk he still doesnt talk to people that much cuz he isnt sure how to insert himself into conversations or friend groups. or when he Does try to say hi it never goes that far and he ends up sidelined by people. so he just kinda stays alone still. which is like. fine ig. like great. but like eventually he does get tired of it and hes like so sad. like it finally sets in ig. hes like alone somewhere at recess and he kinda just has a tiny crying session (which gabby happens to see but also shes busy playing with her friends and like doesnt wanna make anything awkward or make a scene so she just like leaves him be. however this bit onwards she totally does have him like under her eye. like its not rlly tht hard when you have the same class together but yk. maybe she makes a note of trying to get on his team during activities. or asking more questions about work in class when she notices him looking kinda down. idk)

so idk. maybe 2 or 3 weeks go by since the first day. and idk maybe gabby and her friends have some kind of breaking up over something? not rlly sure what but it totally does have gabby rethinking her friend choices since this seems to always happen with her. but then she like remembers like hey yk what. that quiet boy has no friends. and now i have no friends. its like worth a shot ig. like maybe itd work out better having a small group instead.

so yeah she just goes up to him and is like Um hey. whatr u drawing 🙂 and he gets all like shy about it like oh.....um ..... nothing...... idk...... and shes like oh cool. ok. can i sit here. and hes like sure.

so they both just like sit awkwardly in silence for a bit until gabbys like sooo whats ur name. and angel tells her his name. and shes like cool im gabriela. and hes like cool. and idk ig they start to talk abt stuff like Sooo umm r u new i like havent seen you around b4 (like as in b4 that year) and angels like ☹️ oh no i just like. had to redo the grade idk. im not new. been here since 1st. and gabbys like oh cool 👍 ive always gone here.

n idk what else they talk abt its like very icebreaker type stuff. but then they have to go back to class and gabbys like wanna walk w me :) and angels like sure yeah :)) n yk

pre-posting edit of sorts im like sure theres more i couldve written or whatever but im not working on this thing anymore bruh. hope i didnt make any mistakes cuz im not rereading this 😭😭😭

i think maybe gabbys problem in elementary was less of a "people didnt like her" thing and more just... she wasnt one of the most social or "popular" kids and was a pretty awkward girl even if she was kinda cheerful and nice to people. like she was just. there ig. if it werent for angel she prob wouldve just alternated best friends every year or something cuz she Could fit in with the cool people just not for that long

[00gangfriend00]

heyyy bitch you should write a little drivey fic pls 🚙 vroom vroom vibes only

hi babe. vroom vroom! I am at work Not Working so here is your drivey fic.

It's not that he is having trouble sleeping. He can't sleep. Don't matter how many times he tosses and turns, it won't come.

It's been goin on for a week or so now, and he can't pinpoint any real reason why. Rosa tellin' him it's stress, is always going on about stress. Rhea's tellin' him its old age.

Whatever it is, it's fuckin with his mind.

Surrendering momentarily and sitting upright, he flicks on the bedside lamp. Marcus isn't here tonight, which always makes the nights more insufferable. That little squirrel snore across the hall does wonders in quietin' his mind.

He looks around at the warmly lit room. His stuff. Used to dream of this.

Used to dream of having bullshit modern art on his walls. Of walking into one of those fancy ass, white-ass art stores, not even askin' for the price.

Of taking the elevator all the way to the top. Penthouse. Dope shoes. New whip.

Now he's got it. He's at the top.

Still can't fuckin sleep.

So he grabs his keys, tired of staring at the walls, and does what he always does.

It's just going for a drive. Don't matter that the destination's always the same - it's the drive. That's what mellows him enough to finally shut his eyes.

Never mind that it'll l be the third time this week he's shown up outside her house in the middle of the night. There's just somethin' bout the rhythmic suburban sprinkler systems, the twisting parade of manicured lawns, the quiet sigh of each darkened window.

Yah, he knows it makes him look like a fucking stalker, he knows.

Hates it too, its just that he..

"Can't sleep?"

Her voice startles him, he didn't hear the tap on the window, but there she is - shivering outside the car door.

It's cold out, fuck. She's in her little slippers and some thin cotton thing that he's not not thinkin' about.

The window rolls down between them.

"I was in the area."

She grins like each and every one of the 22 minutes it takes to get out here from downtown is personally amusing to her.

"Get in."

'What?"

"You gonna freeze, Elizabeth."

"I was just checking to see if -" She catches herself mid-excuse. He'd been up thinkin' about her and she'd been up thinkin' about him. They're predictable like that. He's not about to deny it, at least. "Okay."

"You look tired". She whispers into the streetlight-lit interior. The light flashes in alternating beats across her face as they pull off the street and onto the highway.

"Gee, thanks." He lolls his head, taking her in and smiling briefly.

She smiles back, something nostalgic and a little forlorn. Her cheeks are wet, he can see the dampness catching blue dashboard light. She notices him noticing and -

"Take me for a drive." She perks upright. Sniffling and buckling her seatbelt with dramatics.

"You got it, boss."

They pull out onto the empty highway, goin' about 20 over. Her hands out the window, bobbing up and down. All that freezing cold air blastin' through the passenger side but - he ain't about to say anything. It's nice, actually, this.

He slows to pull off the next exit. She turns in silent question.

"You hungry?"

"Now?!"

"Yah, now."

"I guess..."

"Nothin' ever easy with you is it?"

He can hear her silent O of accusation without even takin' his off the road.

"I just don't typically eat at 3 o'clock in the morning."

He's grinning as he pulls into a White Castle.

"No time like the present."

--

She's sprawled across him, speak-yelling out the window into the drive-thru speaker.

"I will have a double cheeseburger slider special with the, umm, the loaded fries and.... a chocolate shake."

"Damn."

"Go big or go home, right?" Her shark-tooth grin glistens.

It's hard not to smile back, her nose blushed red from the wind, eyes sparkling. So he does. Like an idiot.

Their haul arrives, and they settle up. (He paid, only cause she didn't bring no wallet, and apparently doesn't appreciate bein' called out on it.)

"No eating in this car, though."

Her french-fry pace doesn't slow.

"Elizabeth, I'm serious."

"Are you kidding me? I am not standing outside."

"We'll eat inside then."

"I am in my pajamas."

"Aint nobody in there."

"This was your idea!"

"You're the one ordering cheese-covered shit, not me."

"I can't go in there." Her arms are crossed like a petulant little child.

He sighs.

"My pajamas are see-through."

"Yah mama, I know." His mouth slips into a smirk as he looks her slowly up and down, and she playfully hits him on the arm.

So they end up in yellow-plastic seats across from one another, with their backs to a ball-pit play area.

It's fuckin weird. It's nice.

Fun, even.

Under the harsh flourescent light, she's even more exposed than before. He's no better in his sweatpants and tee-shirt. No one's around, and with the way she's laughing, the way his body feels relaxed like it hasn't in weeks, it makes him think that very little would shake them from this moment. The whole damn city could come through those swinging doors, and he might not even notice.

Ah, damn.

The sky is grey in anticipation of daylight by the time he pulls back up to her door. They'd been quiet on the way back, yawning from time to time. She'd been humming a simple tune.

They sit like that for a beat in the driveway. Peaceful. Content.

"Dean took the kids."

"When?!"

"This evening. Well, yesterday evening I guess. Last night."

He scrubs his hand over his face, unsure how to play this, scared to expose the way he's feelin'. Been feelin'.

Scared something in his eyes might give away how many nights he's spent sittin' on this very street, pretending she ain't the reason why.

"Shit, Elizabeth. I'm -"

"No. It's okay. I had a really good night." She turns to him now. A shy smile hesitating on her lips.

He nods.

"Get some sleep okay?"

"You sound like my -" But the car door shuts.

She's walking up the driveway and into the sunrise.

He knows he'll sleep the moment his head hits the pillow.

Shit.

[astrxealis]

also also sorta offtopic but: what other games do ya play?? GO FULL OUT IN RAMBLING

ik you've seen me ramble abt twewy all the time but I also love pokémon, kirby, legend of zelda, detroit become human and golden sun !!! my brother has also been playing Hades lately and tho the playstyle isn't my thing bc I get stressed easily IT'S AN AMAZING GAME AND I LOVE IT

someday I will be able to properly try playing final fantasy and fire emblem HAHA if I have the time to play I'll let you know !!! I really want to try those games TT

HEHEHE AHJBHGDBJGH omg if you say so ,, under the cut bcs idk how much i might. ramble GSGBHB <3 <3 <3 warning. just in advance. sorry annie but you've just enabled me HGSBDHJG

( ok i finished writing. uh. i think i legitimately spent more than an hour what. BUT UHM warning it might be really long but idk HSBDHJG but disclaimer yes no need to read it all!! and tysm once again!! and sorry for. so much rambling HSDJHBG )

( edit again bcs i've woken up HOLY SHIT I DIDNT REALIZE I DIDNT POST THIS. I JUST SAVED DRAFT AND THEN POOFED HELP )

OKAY WAIT FIRST. ik you want more twewy moots yes AND THO i do consider myself to like twewy i still am sadly not into it that much yet despite i rmbr uhh neo demo, wanting to watch the animation, and then once it was on sale. i was hyperfixated on it WHFBJH and then moved on to . triangle strategy HJDSBJG which i still don't have but i cld maybe ask a friend who i convinced to buy it bcs he was curious and i was like ROLAND ROLAND ROLAND and i was rlly excited bcs it ws just around release but they haven't even touched it at all so i'll one day force him to lend me it (and i'll never return it JKJKJK HLEP) BUT YEAH. i feel like i wrote that latter bit w no breath breaks

!!! i rmbr you talking abt pokemon once (IN DMS ?? >O< & ff7!!) and ofc ik you love loz HEHE i was goin thru pics some time ago and. came across the link stuff again GDSGB ^^ I DON'T THINK I KNEW YOU LIKED KIRBY AND DBH THO ... kirby is ADORABLE but i've only ever played like. 5 minutes worth of one of the old games HGBSJHD and loz botw which i haven't finished yet bcs i am not enthusiastic to do the bananas and i had to give back the card to my tita TwT DHB okay funny story we had to make smth for school once and i used a somewhat triggering photo and thankfully it wasn’t anything too bad and no one got yeah. also i was rlly young. but DAMN i’m better now thnkfully ALSO i rly wnt to play sometime >< <3

HADES OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT GAME (than and zag. oh god) !!! i'm only a few hours in uhh around 16?? >< i shld def play more ,, can understand it not being your type in playstyle AHBAHFBJ but fr it's amazing and so loveable <3 tbh i kind of get stressed a bit easily like. i could MAYBE be that kinda "toxic" gamer but i'm too nice and don't want to be mean Out Loud so that's good THGBJ i like the stress . somehow. I HOPE YOU CONTINUE ENJOYING!!!!!

okay uhh so we have a lot of games here. kinda?? my game library in my Head is huge but in my actual reality kind of but not really T__T so ofc there's final fantasy!! i like all 15 (and the upcoming 16th) and the spin offs but i definitely haven't played em all yet HSBDJHG 7, 10, 14, 15 i've played! we have 8, 9, 12, and 13 (kinda, doesn't work anymore T_T) >< also type 0 i think but idk </3 i blame/thank my dad's side esp for me w games/anime/ff HGBJSDH!! 14 is kind of obviously my fave game hehe <33

fire emblem!!! 3H is the one i've only played but i LOVE awakening and fates >_< and shadows of valentia!! i know that even less but i love the credits song which i've alrdy accidentally spoiled myself on and the characters i know!

OK SO UHM. there's a lot we have that i haven't actually played so i won't go too much into depth q-q but god of war, xcom, last of us, uhhhhh wait okay

from ones i've played a bit!! or tried to play a bit!! or know outside of actually playing >< drakenier (3, automata, replicant! 3 is. kinda uh sus but i rlly like it and wna know more in the future. we have automata but i haven't played... i LOVE it sm tho and it's just so good,, & the raids in ffxiv i love SDHGJHA and the small spoilers ik </3 replicant same feelings as automata but we don't have it </3) + ghost of tsushima (i played a bit and it's a beautiful game!!) + uh. AH YES soulsborne (okay these kind of games make me scared. i tried to play bloodborne thrice and chickened and i don't actually have or want the guts to not Chicken BUT. I WANT TO HEAR THE MUSIC. and be challenged by the hard gameplay so sometime,, also we have ds3!! i want elden ring/sekiro rlly badly tho ><) + uhh what else. help OAAAAHH THE WITCHER!! okay we have 3 i. meant to start it a bit ago but then ffxiv took my time again SBDGHJH but i love the series!! just close my eyes at times!! i love the witcher man. and there's horizon zero dawn which i've played for quite a while but i'm def not TOO far into it,, it seems like open world isn't rlly my type T___T

i forgot the others. help. SAHGBJH okay from the ones i've finished or play/ed a lot!! persona <3 i like 3 and 4 but dk well yet :(( i love 5 tho!! such a good game, esp w royal <3 anddd then uh. uhm. HJHBF HELP i've barely finished games tbh T___T but <33 UHHH i like cod too! mario! OH MY GOD SUPER MARIO ODYSSEY!!! and other games oh man T~T

I FORGOT FALLOUT EXISTS HELP okay i’m like. really There in fallout shelter but i don’t play anymore </3 fallout 4 and las vegas we have!! i’m scared to play 4!! but yes!! i also feel terrible for forgetting skyrim holy shit i mostly just watched my dad/sis play until i actually started playing myself. i’m a coward and i admit that but that game is my CHILDHOOD... cuphead is also rlly cool i have just played REALLY little myself but <33 animal crossing is rlly cute!! i love new horizons!! also assassins creed!! we have odyssey which i played a bit but it makes me scared to play too ngl!! devil may cry and metal gear rlly interest me but no games or experience playing :(( love the music and memes tho <3

uh. minecraft was my childhood FOR REAL. i played a bit of mass effect then stopped but i’ll cont when i have time. somehow. HSDBGJH ik it’s rlly good !! LEGO GAMES WERE MY CHILDHOOD TOO... my only 100%. man. i fought so much w my twin over those games it’s absolutely hilarious. dragon age is cool i love inquisition soundtrack but i played a bit of origins and then stopped bcs i got stuck and it’s so ANNOYING... red dead redemption 2 i havent played but <333 resident evil is cool but horror. goodbye. GSHGBFBSD AND OH GOD I FORGOT I ONCE PLAYED A BIT OF GTA5. i stopped bcs it rlly was too much even for me who doesn’t mind swearing. i stole cars and did a bit of story and thn stopped i will never forget the man who opened my car door in the road and i drove off HABJGH ... i forgot what other games i’ve played or have or am interested in this is so much oh god . OH GOD WAIT I FORGOT KINGDOM HEARTS EXISTED HELP that series is so weird but means so much to me weirdly. i rmbr so clearly playing literally the first bit of the game. by first bit i mean literally probably just the first hour or less. and i never got past that bcs i never got to a save but then had to stop playing over and over again but wld always go back and play it AAA kh1!!! and thn kh3 i borrowed and man... <3 i love that game and somehow understood and enjoyed even if it’s literally the ending of a saga i think and i never played the rest HELP

i once again lost track of time it’s almost 5 am oh my god i have to get up before 10. BDHGBD i’LL PROBABLY STOP HERE THEN....... i hope you don’t feel like you have to read everything i’m just rlly Yay you asked and uhm enabled me WHEEZE i love rambling but also i do it a lot but also not that much T___T i genuinely do hope this isn’t annoying though! ^^ not in a like Oh i’m annoying way but in a like. this might actually seriously be A Lot JHGSDJHG

i actually barely know anything about golden sun!! but i searched it up rq and rmbrd i’m interested in dragon quest + diablo + castlevania too !! super mario galaxy was my childhood even tho me and my twin barely did anything bcs we were cowards. HELP. we fought too bcs i shaked the controller and then the stars went everywhere and escaped so she got angry at me. why did i even do that what. ANWAYS UHM IDK WHAT i’M EVEN TALKING ABT ANYMORE HELP gran turismo also interests me!! bcs of my dad >< OH MY GOD I FORGOT i also finished littlebigplanet 3!! it was so annoying w my twin /pos!!! we fought also. man. i love twins they suck (affectionate)

i feel like there’s still more i’m forgetting hm but idk. not gna say stuff about ffxiv bcs that’ll be a lot more rambling I’M SO SORRY. also no mobile games orrr free games uhhh there’d be a lot too. help. BUT UHM YES if you do ever someday properly play ff and fe i’d be really happy but pls /nf !!! and i hope you do enjoy if ever!! <3 tbh i’m a bit >:( when it comes to some stuff abt specifically uhh 7 13 15 and 3h but generally i still love them lots <3 personally i’d def rec xiv even if you aren’t a fan of mmorpgs bcs it’s def an rpg first >< also imo the best final fantasy overall!! even best mmo and def one of the best stories i’ve ever seen ,, BJSDHBG but from the single players, it’s a bit depending on your taste but safe best for sure is 9! overall i’d say the best, from what i’ve heard :O below 7 is not 3d yet but i’m biased to 3 bcs of 14, for reasons, and 4 is <3! and 6 def has prolly the best story from what i’ve heard if not for 14!! 8 is heavily romance based ?? but i personally love the themes sm >< 7 is rlly famous and probably the biggest franchise in the ff franchise :O if you ignore ffxiv HJBHDG! i’d def rec it too <3 10 is my first and rlly special to me and i’d def rec it too for sure!! 12 is more political but personally i love it. havent playe dbut uhm yes. tactics i’ve heard is incredibly good ^^ i barely know it. barely being a bit of an understatement uhhh ik some of the story!! yes!! okay squints that’s all i can talk abt rn help it just turned 5 JBGDHJGB ALSO I’M INTERESTED IN OMORI I ALMOST FORGOT!! horror scares me but ik omori is rlly good <3 i’m just watching bcs i might waste money on not playing if i buy it myself <//3 ^^

GN ANNIE!! or good morning. help. HBGSHDBGJ THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN BTW AND SORRY HELP rambling tho helped clear my head more so aaaa <33 ^^

BUT B4 I STOP FOR REAL i just want to advertise rq BUT NO FORCED /nf /nf /nf SERIOSULY it just makes me happy to do this WHEEZE but ffxiv has a rlly good free trial!! lowkey want to send u stuff no spoilers tho and see what wld convince u to play but do be truthful abt it all uhh yes yes gn >< WHEEZEHBGSHJ it’s available on all platforms basically! not like. switch or mobile tho aaaaa T___T </3 but playstation, mac, steam, pc... ^^ it’s pretty time consuming but it’s an experience i’d definitely recommend!! also no time restrictions for free trial :O so yeah >;D