#he's just like “THAT IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY TRUE”
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MY BREAKAWAY CONNOR BEDARD
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pairing connor bedard x reader
SUMMARY connor says the criticism isn’t getting to him until it does. a single bad game is all it takes for the cracks to show. eventually, he admits the pressure got to him, and you remind him he doesn’t have to go through this alone. word count 0.4k
warnings angst, hurt and comfort
note he doesn't deserve all the criticism he's getting ☹️
CB98 MASTERLIST MAIN MASTERLIST
WHEN YOU WALKED in, the apartment was quiet. The only light came from the TV, casting a dim glow over the couch where Connor sat. He was staring blankly at the screen, posture slumped, with hands resting on his knees.
You knew tonight’s game had been rough. The team was struggling, and even though Connor had insisted he was fine, the tension in his shoulders told a different story.
“Hey,” you said softly, stepping closer. “You want company?”
He looked up, forcing a small smile. “Yeah, of course.”
You sat beside him, tucking your legs under yourself. The game highlights were playing, looping through turnovers and opportunities the team missed before flashing the final score. 5-2, another loss. You watched the way Connor's jaw tensed when the commentators began to talk about him. About how, for all his talent, he seemed to be underperforming. About how Chicago needed more from him.
You grabbed the remote and muted the TV. “You don’t need to listen to that.”
Connor exhaled, rubbing a hand over his face. “I don’t,” he admitted. “But it’s not like they’re wrong.”
You frowned. “Connor, don’t do that.”
“They drafted me as a game-changer.” His tone was soft and frustrated. “And I’m not changing anything.”
“That’s not true.”
He let out a short laugh, but it was humourless. “Feels like it.”
You shifted closer, reaching for his hand. He paused before allowing you to slip your fingers in through his.
“You’re nineteen,” you reminded him. “You’re carrying an entire team on your back, and you’re still making plays no one else can. Do you know how ridiculous that is?”
Connor shook his head and looked down at your clasped hands. “I just hate losing. I hate feeling like I’m not doing enough.”
“You are doing enough.” You squeezed his hand. “And I know you. I know you won’t stop, no matter what anyone says. But you can’t take all of this alone.”
He sighed, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “I don’t know how to turn it off,” he admitted. “I go home, and it’s still there. The pressure. The expectations. It’s like I can’t escape it.”
You removed your hand from his and stroked your fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes at the sensation. “You don’t have to escape it,” you said softly. “You just need a break from it.”
Connor was silent for a second and then turned his head, his eyes meeting yours. “And you’re my break?”
You smiled softly. “Yeah. I am.”
He didn’t reply, but the tension in his shoulders relaxed a bit. Then, without warning, he shifted. He laid down, pulling you with him until your head rested against his chest. His heartbeat steady against your ear.
“Can we just stay like this for a bit?” he murmured.
You nodded. “For as long as you need.”
CB98 MASTERLIST ✷ MAIN MASTERLIST
#connor bedard x reader#connor bedard#nhl x reader#nhl fanfic#nhl imagine#connor bedard x you#connor bedard imagine#connor bedard fluff#connor bedard angst#nhl x you#nhl fic#nhl#hockey#✷ isaadore
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So I’m at my best friend’s house and something weird happened. He just told me how much he knew I love muscular guys with strong facial hair and said he had a really early birthday gift. He took a selfie then took a picture of me and now, I feel all weird and foggy in my head. I think I can see his big fat���dick through his briefs. I rubbed my face and, do I have mutton chops growing in? I just, please help me I’m not sure what’s going on, I don’t think I like it
First off, I’d like to wish you a happy early birthday! Turning 22 isn’t the most exciting thing ever, certainly not as fun as turning 21, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy it! And before you correct me and say that it's not your actual birthday yet, or that’s you’re not turning 22, let me just say this: give it a moment.
You feel that tingling across your body? The strange sensation that’s like a sunburn that somehow underneath got underneath your skin, or static electricity dancing across your muscles. That’s the app your friend downloaded doing its job. I’ve talked before about InstaJock, the app that turns people who use it into a jock, and how there seem to be people making knockoffs of it as well, but as the app has grown in popularity, some of the knockoffs have gained traction too. I’d even venture to call a few of them legitimate competitors. Most have done so by finding a gimmick and carving themselves out a place in the digital tf world. Fratbook, for example, is an app that works a lot like this InstaJock, except every more of a frat boy lean. SnapBack does internet fuckboys, Redsky does conservative men, etcetera. There are even some more far out ones, like Polygraph, which is kind of like Twitter (or X or whatever) except everything you post becomes true. But I’m getting way off track, we should get back to you.
I can’t be entirely sure what app your friend used on you, but I doubt the specifics matter anymore. By this point the burning in your muscles and the itch of hair growing across your face and body is unbearable, but it doesn’t remotely compare to the dull warmth that's spread through your head. You said that you didn’t think you liked the change at first, but right now it’s hard to think at all, especially with your friend's fat dick swinging in your face. You weren’t sure when he took out his cock, or when you got on your knees, but as the heat in your muscles calmed to a dull throb, and your new thick black hair has settled across your body, you find yourself just going with the flow. Why wouldn’t you bro? Everything just feels so fucking good!
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Now I have good news, better news, and even better news! The good news is that whatever your friend has done is probably temporary. It was a gift after all, and he also transformed himself, so you’re probably both going to just enjoy being hairy hunks for a while. The better news is that you probably have a boyfriend now, if that's what you want. Your friend probably knew you would hook up, and this might have been your way of seeing if you’re also into him, while living out his fantasy. The better news is that, if you want, it doesn’t have to be temporary. Once you’ve turned back to normal, and you and your ‘best friend’ have had a little talk, reach out. If you guys want to spend more time in your dumb, beefy, hair forms, I might be able to help. ---------- Hey guys! So, I know most people skip over the little out of character updates I sometimes put at the bottom of my stories, but I'm hoping you guys take a second to look at this one because I have a bit of an announcement. I realized yesterday that on February 17th, in just five days, this blog will be a year old! I know I'm only just getting back into doing this, but I'm so proud that I've actually stuck with this for a full year! So I want to celebrate! So, I'm going to be temporarily reopening my ask for...
An Alphaversary QNA!
What makes this QNA special is that you won't just be asking me questions. You can ask a question to me, my character, or any of the characters I've written about in any of my stories! The answers will probably be shorter than my usual work, but will give you guys the chance to ask about anything thats confused you, dig deeper into the world building, or even check up on a character or concept that you're curious about. This will go until February 24th, the day I posted my first original story! Don't be afraid to ask away! Thanks for coming on this journey with me you guys! I can't wait for another badass year!
#muscle growth tf#muscle tf#jock tf#jock transformation#jockification#nerd to jock#instajock tf#1 year Alphaversary!
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PABLO GAVI fluff were he comfort the reader after their big argument please love your works 💫
Thanks💓
Our home —Pablo Gavi.
summary: request.
warnings: none. a little of angst, fight, discomfort, cute, soft, clingy.
words count: +2k.
#SEXYNOTE: Happy Valentine's Day 💌 Enjoy it, love you 🎀
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The sound of your snort clashing with the overwhelming silence in the living room, interrupting the tranquility of the night. You're standing by the kitchen, hands on your hips and frowning as you stare at the pile of dirty utensils you haven't stopped noticing since you got home. Gavi, he doesn't even look at you. He's sitting on the couch, remote in hand and TV on, seemingly oblivious to your frustration.
"Really?" you ask aloud, turning to him with your arms crossed. "How many times have we talked about this?"
He looks up turning to look at you, surprised, but quickly his expression changes to a mixture of tired and defensive.
"I will do it later" he says nonchalantly as he resumes playing again.
"Yeah, like always" you mutter starting to pick things up. You shake your head as you turn on the water.
"I'll always end up doing it myself anyway" you whisper angrily.
"What are you talking about now?" he replies, setting the controller down on the table and turning to you again.
You ignore him, starting to wash the dishes in the sink. You don't answer because you know it will be in anger, you'd rather shut up again.
"Are you saying I never do?" his voice sounds closer and you can feel his presence.
Making him get up from the couch when he's playing video games is a reward for you.
"That then you don't do shit" you spit loud and clear. "You always say the same thing about the dishes, the laundry, everything you always leave lying around" you reply, pointing to the sink with an exaggerated gesture.
"That's not true" he shriek angrily. "I said I would do it later..."
"When were you going to do it, huh?" you ask interrupting him. "After I do it? Tomorrow when you finish training? When?" you shout.
Gavi frowns but you can see his features look angry. But angrier are you. You're not overreacting. These last months living together has become difficult, you fight constantly, Gavi doesn't help you enough and you understand that he's tired after training or whatever, but you also have your job and that's not why you leave everything like that.
This morning you had left with all the mess, dishes from last night, clothes on the floor next to the washing machine, garbage cans full and when you came back, everything was still the same. And Gavi had the day off today. You expected at least the simple, basic housekeeping. You didn't expect him to deep clean, just tidy up. But he'd clearly spent the day playing videogames.
"I can't handle this, you know? I work all day, I come in exhausted, and the last thing I want is to see the house a mess because you can't do your part."
"My part?" he retorts, stepping closer and facing you with open arms. "And what do you think I do all day? I'm not just sitting around doing nothing. I'm also exhausted when I get home."
"But I'm always the one who has to take care of everything," you say, feeling frustration rise from your chest to your throat. "The dishes, the laundry, the cleaning? When was the last time you even tried to pick anything up?"
He rolls his eyes and that gesture fires you up even more.
"Don't exaggerate the situation. It's not like I never do anything. I may not be as obsessive as you, but that doesn't mean I don't help," he says pointing at you.
Oh no. He didn't just call you that. He didn't just make everything worse.
"Obsessive?" you repeat, in disbelief. The word hits you like a slap in the face. "It's not obsessive, it's wanting our home to be a place where we can be comfortable, where I don't feel like I'm living on a battlefield." It comes out as an angry scream.
You can't believe it. Now you are the obsessive and exaggerated one who wants some basic order in your own home.
"It's not like that!" he replies, raising his voice. His tone is defensive, but also weary. "Just because I don't do things exactly the way you want me to, doesn't mean I'm doing everything wrong."
"It's not about doing it 'my way'!" you shout, feeling on the verge of tears. "It's about the fact that I can't handle everything by myself. I'm exhausted, and you don't seem to care."
That shushes him. Gavi turns his head in denial but you turn to continue washing through your eyes fill with tears. All that screaming, the desperation, the anger, it makes you feel bad. You've had a rough patch for a while now and you're afraid this could be the straw that breaks the camel's back. But you are so tired. You just want to finish and go to sleep. Arguments won't get you anywhere but you're exhausted from the same situation.
The atmosphere in the room is tense, charged with unspoken words and pent-up emotions. You don't want to cry because you don't want to look weak but you feel so fragile that if he says anything else, you will cry.
Finally, he sighs and takes a step towards you. You feel him coming closer but you won't move, you just want to finish.
"I'm sorry, okay?" he says, his voice softer this time. "I care a lot, more than you think."
Just then you finish rinsing and deposit everything in the dryer. You take off your gloves and dry the counter, leaving everything clean and ready.
"Then prove it" you reply, with a lump in your throat, as you turn around. "Because when I come home and see all this, I feel like you don't care about our home or the effort I make or even us."
You try to walk towards the room but he stops you, processing your words. He's still angry about the argument, you can see it in the way his brow furrows but you can't go on like this.
"If you cared, you would. I get it once or twice, Pablo. But not for months now, it's pure cohabitation, I'm not trying to force you into anything or ask you to be my maid" you spit out harshly, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes. "And I won't be your fucking maid either"
You release yourself from his grip and move for your room, looking for some quiet. Your bed seems to be waiting for you the moment you open the door and you quickly strip off your clothes, dressing in your pajamas. You just want to sleep. You crawl into bed and turn your back to Gavi's side, covering yourself with your warm blanket. Tears slide down your cheeks as you think about the argument, how vulnerable you are right now. You're scared, maybe moving in with Gavi was a hasty move and you've been thinking about it for weeks.
You love him. You love everything about him but you can't stand that your relationship is turning into what you hate the most. Maybe you are pushing him a little bit but he lives here too, each of you have your obligations and responsibilities and the only way to survive is to work together.
You're not so angry about the argument, you're helpless. Lonely and scared, what if he doesn't want to be with you anymore, what if Gavi is only acting this way because you are broken? The sobs come out of your mouth and you try to cover them but it's unavoidable.
A faint noise makes you swallow a sob and when you feel the mattress sink behind you, you cover your face with the whole sheet. Gavi comes up from behind and embraces you slowly, carefully, waiting for your rejection or acceptance. You say nothing, just melt into the warmth of his arms embracing you, as you sigh calming your little fit.
"You're right" he admits, with a deep sigh. His voice sounds weak, slowly. "I've been relaxing too much, trusting you to do it because you always do. That's not right and I'm really sorry" his words make your heart shrink.
You didn't want to make him feel that way, you didn't want him to be angry, maybe things got out of place all because of your bad reaction.
"It's not true what I said, you're not exaggerating, you're not obsessive" he murmurs hurt as his hand runs down your body, caressing you. "I care about you, about our home and I care about our relationship" he whispers close to your ear, resting his face in the crook of your neck.
Your heart softens a little at his words, but you still feel the weight of everything built up in your chest. You barely nod. You know he didn't have a bad intention and maybe it was you who took it to another dimension but you really wanted Paul to understand.
"I haven't been around much these days and I understand your approach, Y/n" he whispers again.
Your nose rubs the drops of tears and you sigh searching for air. Su cálido cuerpo comienza a calentar te y solo quieres saltar a sus brazos, como siempre lo deseas.
"Forgive me, okay? Please?" he asks in his hoarse, weak voice.
You turn barely, pulling your body out of the fabrics until you see him clearly.
"It's not just about the dishes or the clothes, Pablo" you confess as tears begin to escape your eyes. "It's because I want this to be a home, our home. A place where we can both be at peace"
"I understand" he says, looking you straight in the eye. "And you're absolutely right. I don't want you to feel like you're carrying everything by yourself. I promise I'm going to get better, I really am"
His hands take your face as you turn to him fully. He takes it upon himself to wipe away your tears, one by one, as he pulls you into his warm chest. Your heart aches for everything but you feel more relieved now.
"I'm sorry for exploding like this too" you admit hurt. "I just want everything to work out, that we don't have to argue about these things. And I thought that..."
Pablo looks at you seriously, confused.
"I thought things between us were breaking up, that maybe your pulling away was my fault and I exploded" you confess as the tears come again.
His eyes hold back the tears as his fingers tighten on your face.
"I would never do anything like that, nothing changed between us, I promise. It's just me, being kind of lazy" he says trying to blame homself but you deny.
"I'm sorry, Gavi" you cry exhausted. "I didn't mean to fight with you like this, just.... I'm tired..."
Your body hurts, your mind does too. Maybe you need more sleep than a day is enough and all this anxiety, nervousness, is driving you crazy.
"You are my home, you are my whole life, I just want to be here, for the rest of my life, with you" he says in front of your eyes.
"You are mine, Pablo" you assure with a laugh.
He smiles slightly and pulls you into a warm embrace.
"Let's promise something" he says, whispering against your hair. "Let's talk before things get to this point. If something bothers you, tell me, and I'll do the same"
You nod against his chest, feeling relieved to hear those words.
"I promise" you reply, clinging to him tightly.
His arms come around you again and you feel yourself melt under his touch. Gavi is soft, gentle and sweet. And you love that.
"And I promise I'll always wash the dishes from now on" he adds, with a touch of humor in his voice that manages to get a small chuckle out of you in spite of everything.
You both stay like that, hugging, letting the tensions dissipate. You know you still have room for improvement but you also know that, as long as you are willing to work together, nothing can affect what you have.
The silence in the room lingers as you are cuddled together. He watches you from above, his fingers stroking your back, your arms, your chest. He leaves little patterns on your skin, running over every nook and cranny of your body. You smile. He smiles back. The two of you look at each other and touch again. It is inevitable.
Your body is on top of his, one of his legs is wrapped around you and your hands rest on his firm chest, caressing his pecs. You talk for a while, then kiss, then just lie there. Pablo keeps running his warm hands up and down your arms, resting occasionally on your hip as he kisses your forehead or hair, then back up your back slowly. If touch burns on your skin, but it's the kind of fire that feeds the flame in your heart.
Then you apologize again, talk, joke and kiss again, in a loop. It's warm, perfect and beautiful. You two love and understand each other, yes, you argue but it keeps you stronger than ever, just like right now.
One of his hands goes into your hair, the other resists on your lower back, massages your scalp while your fingers move on his chest. That starts to make you sleepy, you close your eyes but you don't want to stop seeing Gavi, so you open them again.
He spots you and laughs. You lift your head and his eyes are waiting for you, loving, watching you.
"You can rest, baby" he whispers, leaving a kiss on the top of your head.
"See you tomorrow, Pablo" you whisper barely.
"Good night, baby" he kisses your forehead again affectionately.
You settle into his chest again, letting the sound of his heart soothe you. His other hand continues to stroke your hair, and you can feel how his caresses are slow and full of affection, as if he wants to make up for everything he has made you feel. His fingers press your skin to your waist and you feel filled with his love.
And in that moment, even though you know you still have things to work out, you feel that everything will be okay. Because you are together.
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#football imagines#imagine#football one shot#fc barcelona#pablo gavi#pablo gavi x you#pablo gavi smut#pablo gavi x reader#pablo gavi imagine#gavi x reader#gavi
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sorry but I'd like to imagine it's really laios saying that to everyone on discord. I believe you've done nothing wrong tho
good news: everyone has assigned me laios kin already
apparently i say laios-coded things more than i thought i did (and my partner is very chilchuck-coded so i guess we're just rping chilaios now)
#tox answers#when i say “i've never done anything wrong in my life” he won't even do the meme with me#he's just like “THAT IS NOT EVEN REMOTELY TRUE”#so yeah not beating the chilaios allegations actually
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i have a fanfic/universe rewrite in my head of a transformers series and if I ever hunker down and work on it these two will be irrevocably linked together in my head for it
#like my idea of him being a near incomparably unnaturally powerful person who swears complete loyalty to megatron to control and aim him#it just fits perfectly with the song#like my idea is that he was a gladiator slave of the quintessons early on in the cybertron civil war before the Optimus Prime is the leader#of the main political faction of the planet and megatrons war is true and just who is freed by megatron from enslavement and experimentatio#of the quintessons leading to him having the ability to functionally produce infinite energon which can be transferred to his hands for his#P.O.K.E. for potentially unlimited destructive force#after being freed swearing unerring loyalty to Megatron who he views like a god who he believes can truly control the weapon hes been made#he is fully loyal to megatron (not the decepticons) until he dies and becomes galvatron#after some time he fully realizes this isnt his god and upon realizing the control of Unicron is apart of a major assault against the plane#single-handedly destroying thousands of terrorcons and melting miles of the surface just trying to dig his way to unicrons spark to kill it#transformers#transformers animated#tfa#transformers lugnut#lugnut#robot#music#kyle stibbs#the opposite of icarus#character songs#i might also think about making lug trans or genderfluid or something to include Clobber from cyberverse#god i need to work on this#how else am i supposed to get strangers to potentially obsess about this horrible series i hate and want to completely rewrite because i ha#it so much#like i made a basic theology to make unicron and primus ironic foils for each other thats not even remotely important to the plot or world#only kinda to explain why these dead transformers are coming back to life and why the zombies exist#Youtube
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Given everything by Trump has done how can a Christian defend voting for him at all?
This is a loaded question and a logical fallacy that is attempting to lead the person answering to a specific, predetermined conclusion. This is not a question asked in good faith or with good intentions.
Now if you said that there is a lot of less than savory rumors about him and how do we as Christians go about figuring out what is the truth and what are lies and then figuring out what to do with the truth we find out about him, I would play ball with something like that. But as your current question stands, I won’t answer a loaded question.
#shenzi gets anons#practically all the rumors about him are false btw#a lot of people like to claim he’s racist and when I ask for sources people just say#“well everything he says is racist”#which isn’t even remotely true and they can never find a source that can actually back this claim up#a lot of people but especially the left seem to forget that we had a booming economy under him as well as record#RECORD#low unemployment rates which meant tons of people were employed and making money and helping the economy be stable#he actually respects personnel in the military and did what he could to keep them out of unnecessary conflict#that’s a huge plus in my book since I have a lot of family that is either serving or has served#I’m not claiming the man is perfect he is far from it#he’s arrogant and self important but he also hasn’t done nearly any of what people accuse him of#and it’s frustrating to have a conversation with almost anyone nowadays because people either worship the guy#or think he’s the actual devil and there’s little in between#though if I had to pick I would rather talk to people who worship him because at least they wouldn’t feel justified#in physically assulting me just because I say I don’t hate the guy#anyway
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Every appearance of the red-haired menace that is early Laurence forces me to sit here and stew upon how I will fix his introduction in the rewrite. As a coping mechanism. Unfortunately since I can't remember the parts where his character isn't just harassment so I can't cook with the themes the way I'd like to. Like the way he calls Aph "my love" after she very explicitly in the text of the game tells him not to do that... bad vibes. I think I could rock with his character if he'd done the same sort of approach in hitting on Aphmau as heavily, but the moment she lays down an actual boundary, he backs way the hell off. I could even fuck with her trying to be subtle about the boundary and him not getting it and continuing to make her uncomfortable before she snaps at him and he apologizes, saying that he truly didn't mean anything by it, and he respects the boundary she lays like his life depends on it from then on out. It would create some immediate complexity in his need for explicit communication, and backs up the sort of deeper character hinting they seem to try to do when he's talking about Castor and Cadenza, this idea that he deeply cares, if being a bit pushy on accident. It would also make a good detail fueling the conflicts later on with the love triangle that can sort of prevent Laurence from looking like TOO much of a dickhead (him being unaware or misinterpreting situations, and the delicate nature of it making him uncomfortable asking questions, is a compelling reason to see somebody hurting his friends' feelings, and makes him significantly more sympathetic, opening him up for feelings of remorse and guilt).
#mcd#minecraft diaries#jeremiahs mcd notes#laurence mcd#i want autisic/adhd king laurence and im not even remotely joking#i think it would add a lot to his character to give him those struggles#if i'm recalling his character right anyways#i am still very early in the series#But i do recall vaguely there being conflicts where I was absolutely not on his side#and i had a very strong sense of justice as a kid so i imagine that i'm not making that up#but also its been 8 years so who knows#but i think he can still very much get off on the wrong foot with aph and it can still be good#i think honestly having him get off on the wrong foot and then work to make it up to her would be good as hell#bc it's a situation in which she sees him be willing to work on himself without much prompting#(aka as soon as he's told there's an issue he starts to work on it and she doesn't have to ask)#and she goes oh actually. you know what. maybe hes not a dick.#and she starts to be more comfortable around him over time#It might create this dynamic where it feels like he's always trying to catch up to her level#Always apologizing always being the wrong one#and then eventually when she does something that he can't just smile and bear#(as all friends hurt each other on accident one time or another#it is unavoidable we are but human and i believe Laurence would let a lot of things slide bc he knows how much she's had to forgive him for#And I can see as well it not going over well bc aphmau is not used to the idea of being the wrong one#and she had a reason for what she did and she gets defensive#Causing an uncomfortable moment of tension#I also think that there could be a good spot where Garroth is being more controlling as to try to protect aph and she is bothered by it#feeling in that moment very robbed of control and like he's not listening to her#and then here's laurence#who is willing to build himself anew brick by brick with her input#Like this is how I would overthink it if I wanted a true love triangle conflict introduced to the plot here
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Ok no I LIED I'm going to rant about him lovingly in the tags even more
#ok I'm so caught in my affectionate feels rn BUT I need to shout my appreciation for him out to the world#he does so many little things that I just ADORE#the way he says honey. hear me out. he's from north Louisiana but he has a very southern twang in his voice when he says it#and it's just so so so so so adorable#and the fluffiest hair. oh my god#he has. just like. a Heap of Hair on his head and that's wonderful news for ME bc ME LOVE HAIR TEXTURE A LOT#I like to put my hands in his hair and just shake it around and/or massage his scalp bc it's so nice to touch#speaking of hands. it's so cute to see him process the size difference in our hands#his hands are like an inch or 2 bigger than mine and everytime we're holding hands:#he says 'dude. why are your hands so small' and we have a fake debate about his hands being big vs my hands being small#(both statements are true and neither of us would like to admit it)#I mentioned this in the last post but our heights are perfect together#he's just tall enough to wrap his arms around my waist and for me to put my arms around his neck without hurting myself#we're also just about the right heights to do that cute couple thing where one person lays their chin on the other's head#and that's so wholesome to me#those are all just physical attributes too don't even get me STARTED on his personality (I'm already started)#he is so kind to me. like yeah that's basic human decency. I know. but like. He gets worried abt me and I'm flattered by that#like when I'm acting even remotely upset he goes 'are you okay 👁👁 is there anything I can do to help' and that's SO SWEET#he's also incredibly loving on most days. I remember one of the first times I'd stayed over I had an 8 AM the next day#and from the bed he went 'I really wish you could stay <:( ' MY HEART. LIKE. AWWWW#back to his physical appearance bc I forgot to mention: HIS PRETTY ASS EYES#OKOK SO he has fucking HAZEL EYES. super pretty dark dreen with flecks of brown and gold#holy fuck. I mean like. OUGHSBSB#I was looking into his eyes one night and they were a gorgeous emerald green#the next day in the sun? PRETTY ORANGE AND YELLOW COLORS#ok had to make sure to mention that bc I love his eyes sm#anyways#ack I gotta try to sleep soon but. this has been my 2nd infodump abt him#god I love him sm#hi justin 🫶
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watching rory get into her dream school makes me nostalgic ^_^ though this is probably why i identify more with lorelai sr cause when i heard my early decision app to car*negie me*llon was accepted i had nobody to celebrate with, i just sprawled on my bedroom floor and watched pirates of the caribbean on my laptop. but it was the happiest night of my entire high school days, it meant i was getting out.
#nobody really understands how my entire life goal as a kid was to be independent so that nobody could ever abuse me again like my mom did#my dad never believed in the art thing but contrary to his belief i never went willy nilly into art i picked a very intentionally stable#side of the commercial art business just for this reason#and this summer getting this sudden disabling illness and finding myself at the whim of random friends here#was absolutely terrifying#i am relieved that i have been able to get myself back to a level of health that i can work again#even if it means i am so exhausted that the rest of my life stops existing#it isnt like i had much of a social life here in LA anyway#its really really lonely though#thank goodness for my walking buddy#we snagged a half hour walk monday and i confessed to him that he was the only human being i had seen in a week and a half#and its true#working remotely saves me the exhaustion of having to be presentable each day and commuting but its so so lonely#and im still so sick#and im scared this is the rest of my life just nothing but loneliness and vague misery#with the only comfort being silly tv shows that remind me of better days#jrnlsht
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Now that I think about it last night’s dream really hit a bingo of recurring themes tbh
#i should say dream(s) because they really weren’t coherent and didn’t fit much of a narrative#like i think i woke up and fell asleep again at one point#so i had the dream i went on tinder and listed myself as having a flat butt. which is both uncalled for and true#at one point i dreamt i was at a remote house in scotland which.. i don’t know why but i’m ALWAYS dreaming that#had a dream my dad turned out to have been alive this whole time#he showed up 80 years old (which is how old he would be now) and told us the cia had faked his death and put him in witness protection#i was like and WHY would they not also take me#there’s a point at which dreaming that your loved one came back to life actually stops being sad and kinda starts to be funny depending#on the themes of the dream. like not always but sometimes#it’s something you never think will happen until it does#but he was a really funny old man in this dream#it’s been a while since i had the dream. i had one a while ago where he’d faked his death so he could go live with a different family#but then his new wife kicked him out so he moved back in with my mom and she didn’t seem to mind but i was PISSED#i also had a dream that i was doing a phd or something but my a-level english teacher was my professor/supervisor#and our scenarios were really chaotic and required me to make some kind of tomatoey tofu concoction#even in my dreams i crave academic validation and tofu#THEN i had a dream i accidentally texted p#which… can my subconscious leave him alone PLEASE it’s 2024. this does not need to be happening#i think reading my godawful diary from The Time Of P the other day dredged him up#it must’ve done because when i tell you i don’t think about this man day to day. i just don’t remember about him#he doesn’t even post on facebook. i don’t see him#so yeah we really hit every single recurring dream theme that i have last night#i never have full blown recurring dreams but i have themes#we really only missed out hamsters; me being on a doomed voyage or me being an unwanted house guest in a stupidly big house#personal
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I want to speak out against the whole push towards DEI. I feel that ever since you made the push to make identity the forefront of a character it has hurt the stories you tell. Captain Sisay's race was never the focus of her character and she was a complete badass! And I fear if you did it over again Gerrard would be trans, black and disabled just because. It also cheapens the stories of world devastation when characters worry more about their gender than Bolas destroying everything.
The reason I started this blog is so we can have frank conversations about things, so please let’s talk about this.
Imagine if every time you turned on the TV or watched a movie, no one looked like you. For some of us, that’s never happened. We see ourselves constantly, so it’s hard to truly understand what not seeing yourself represented in media is like.
I do have a personal window to this experience. While I am white and male, there’s an area where I am the minority - my religion. Jews are just under two and a half percent of the US population. I have had many experiences where I’ve been in situations where everything is geared towards a group I do not belong to, and zero consideration is given that not everyone at that event is part of the majority.
You just feel invisible and like an outsider. It’s not a great feeling. And I just experience it a tiny portion of time, only things that are geared specifically towards something religious. Most minorities have this feeling all the time, whenever they’re outside their personal community.
Now imagine, after years of not seeing yourself ever, you finally see someone that looks like you, but nothing about the character rings remotely true. They don’t sound like you, they don’t act like you, the facts about their day-to-day life are just wrong. It’s clear whoever wrote the character didn’t truly understand the lived experience of the character, so the character feels fake.
You bring up Sisay. Michael Ryan and I didn’t technically create Sisay (she played a small role in the Mirage story), but we did do a lot to flesh out her character as the creators of the Weatherlight Saga. We turned her from a minor character into a major one.
And while I’m proud, in general, of our work on the Weatherlight Saga, I don’t think we did justice to Sisay as a character. Neither Michael nor I have any knowledge of what it’s like to be a black woman. Nor did we ever talk to someone who did.
And if you’re someone like us that has no knowledge of that experience, you probably didn’t notice. But that doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.
Imagine if we made a movie about your life, and we just made everything up. We invented people you never knew, we gave you a job you never had, and we had you say things you’d never say. The movie might even be a good movie, but your response would be, but that’s not my life - that’s not me.
Now imagine we put the movie out, and people that never met you assumed that was what you were like. When people met you for the first time, they assumed things, because, you know, they’d seen the movie.
That’s what misrepresenting people does. It not only makes them feel not seen, it falsely represents them, spreading lies, often stereotypes, making people believe things about them that aren’t true.
Our move towards diversity is just us trying to better reflect the world and the people in it. We’re trying to do to everyone else what a certain portion of people get every day without ever having to think about it.
But why are we “making it the forefront of their character”? We’re not. We’re making it a part of their character. But in a world where you’re not used to ever seeing it, it feels louder than it is. Things that are a natural part of the world that you’re used to feel like the background of the story because you understand the context to it.
If a man kisses his wife before going off to a battle, that’s not a big deal. It’s just a thing a husband might do to his wife when he leaves. It’s not the forefront of his character. It’s just part of his life. But you’ve seen it hundreds of times, so it feels normal.
When someone does something that isn’t your lived experience it pulls focus. It seems like a big deal, but only because it’s new to you. It’s just as mundane a thing to that character as the man kissing his wife is to him.
Even the turn “pushing” implies that it’s unnaturally here, that we’re forcing something that naturally shouldn’t be. But why? That thing exists naturally in the real world, and it doesn’t make the real world any less. Maybe you’re less aware of it, but is making you aware of how others live their life “pushing” something on you?
How you live your life is represented constantly, everywhere. Why isn’t over-representing your experience at the expense of everyone else’s “pushing” it? Why is media only being the experience of those in power the “proper way”?
Having more depth and variety doesn’t lessen stories. It makes them deeper, more rich, more nuanced. In short, it makes them better stories. In my former life, I was a professional writer. I took a lot of writing classes. One of the truism of writing is “speaking truth leads to better stories”.
There’s another famous quote: “When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.” You’re used to being over-represented, so being a little less over-represented feels like something has been taken from you. But really it hasn’t. Having a better sense of the rest of the world comes with a lot of benefits.
I’ll use food as an example. Let’s say all you were ever exposed to was the food of your heritage. Yeah, that food is really good, but sometimes isn’t it nice to eat foods of other nationalities? Isn’t your life better that you have a choice? Isn’t your exposure and access to the food of other nationalities a positive in your life?
Exposure to variety is a positive. It allows you to learn about things you didn’t know, experience things things you’ve never experienced, and get a better sense of understanding of your friends and neighbors.
Our actions are not to harm anyone, and if you think that’s what we’re doing, please take a minute to actually absorb what I’m saying. You’ve spent your whole life metaphorically eating one type of food, and we’re just trying to show you how much you’ve missed out on.
And while this might not impact you directly, we’re making a whole bunch of people felt seen. We’re bringing joy. Think of it this way. We make a lot of cards. Not every card is for you. But if it makes someone else happy, if they get to include it in a deck, and it makes Magic better for them, how is it harming you that we include it? You have so many cards that you can play.
To this poster or people that share their viewpoint, the narrative that a gain for someone else is an attack on you is just not true. As I just pointed out above, you play a game all about personal choice, about players getting to choose how they play and enjoy the game. Why should life be any different than Magic?
Thanks for reading.
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I think about Azula shooters often and their common refrain of "if Azula hadn't had a mental breakdown, she would've won" and I'm here to tell you that no, she wouldn't have.
There is no universe in which Azula was winning that fight with Zuko (or Katara, for that matter).
Azula spent so much of Book 2 being built up as this deadly terrifying force against whom the heroes are badly outmatched that it can be difficult to catch exactly how quickly Zuko is advancing.
Back up a bit to Book One. For the fearsome exiled crown prince of the Fire Nation, Zuko's not that impressive a firebender. He's not bad by any stretch, and he's able to lay the untrained Sokka and Katara flat pretty easily. Then he gets in the ring with Aang, who is an airbending master, and the difference between a regular bender and a master becomes apparent when Aang literally puts his ass to bed:
People have attributed this to the fact that no one's fought an airbender in 100 years, but I think it's also worth noting that Aang (a 12 year old from a pacifist nation) has probably never fought anyone before. Like, ever. And yet the second Aang thinks "okay, I'll attack back", the fight's over.
Zuko's got the same genetic predisposition for firebending talent that Azula does, yet it never seems to manifest because of his mental blocks. At the beginning of the series, he's already so beat down that all he really has is conviction, pride, and anger, so even with training from Iroh (the firebending master, thank you very much), he struggles. Yet throughout Book 2, when he has no time to train because he's on the run, he actually seems to advance faster. The fact that his bending is literally tied to his character arc (as his morals become tangled and he has to fight off aforementioned mental blocks) is pretty brilliant. Like, by the time of the Crossroads of Destiny, Zuko getting his ass handed to him by Aang is a pretty consistent feature of the show--he just can't match wits with him.
Hell, at the beginning of the series, he and Iroh (again: the actual firebending master) launch a combined power surface-to-air attack...which Aang casually swats away into a nearby ice wall. Come the Crossroads of Destiny, however, and Zuko by himself launches this bigass fireball that blows through Aang's defenses.
Zuko advances so quickly that it's scary. That prodigious talent is in him even if it doesn't come through as cleanly as with Azula. Who, by the way, was busy about to get flattened by Katara some few dozen feet away, until Zuko took over and then effectively stalemated her himself.
All of this in retrospect makes it abundantly clear why Zuko's firebending seemed to skyrocket so much when he learned true firebending from the Sun Warriors: it was really the only thing left. He's hard a hard road learning how to fight waterbenders, earthbenders, and airbenders, and even if unconsciously, he's applying the philosophy Iroh taught him about augmenting his bending style with aspects of other styles (see also, the waterbending-like fire whips he uses in the above gif). Once he actually understands fire and how it works, he's got it mastered. Hence why any gap between him and Azula effectively disappears as soon as their next fight--before her friends have betrayed her and her stability goes out the window. There's no real sense of urgency to their fight at the Boiling Rock prison. True, Sokka's presence with the sword helps, but Zuko doesn't look remotely worried and he counters Azula's every attack perfectly.
All her life, Azula only ever learned fire. She was taught by the best people the fire nation can employ, so she knows all the cool tricks, but she's still poisoned by the corrupted firebending practiced in the modern ATLA timeline. Unlike Zuko, who managed to get the basics if nothing else from Iroh (fire comes from the breath, and can be used to survive as much as to kill), Azula has always used fire as a weapon and a means to hurt others. She has no true knowledge of the craft, meaning she's got the same weaknesses as Zhao, she's just better disciplined to the point she can make up for it.
Zuko's victory was a given considering Azula's complete loss of control by the time of Sozin's comet, but even had she been in a perfect mental state, she'd have lost, because in many ways Zuko is simply the better firebender.
And that's the truth of it.
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Sustained ridicule has the potential to reinforce the downward spiral Trump is now in. He probably likes it when we call him a fascist or authoritarian, because it expresses fear of him, and he aches to be feared. It acknowledges his power. This motivates him and makes him stronger. Ridicule makes him weaker. Ridicule makes him small. Ridicule makes him desperate. He’ll try to respond with ridicule of his own, but he is not a clever man. He’s a stupid man. He has no wit. He has no sense of mischief. He doesn’t read. He doesn’t think beyond first reactions. These nicknames of his, which the press has made such a big deal of over the years—they’re nothing. They’re dick contests put into words. Little Marco, Sleepy Joe. There’s nothing remotely clever about any of them0 [...] People have said, and even I have written, that Trump is bound to regain his footing at some point. I guess so. But what if he doesn’t? What if this new dynamic is just … the dynamic? Against Joe Biden, Trump looked credible to swing voters, simply because of Biden’s age. Against Harris, he looks old (because he is), confused (because he is), far less intelligent than she (because he is), and less genuinely patriotic (because he is). And the best way to ensure that he stays off his game? Mockery. Bone spurs. Orange tanning spray. Hannibal the Cannibal. Sharks versus electrocution. The whole nine yards. The Democrats have finally found Trump’s true Achilles’ heel. They need to keep poking at it, hard..
Finally, the Democrats Have Found Trump’s Achilles’ Heel: Ridicule Him
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designs for a zine piece! enjoy some background story my illustration never needed under the read more (fair warning I did NOT edit this at all):
newbie mage apprentices Sam and Tucker who became friends bc they're kinda… the ones at the bottom of their class and struggle the most, for different reasons. they become besties over time and practice together!
except one night, something goes terribly wrong. they spent the last few nights preparing for a project, a bigger spell that needs an intricate circle with precise measurements to work. but when they try to activate it, well…
oops. they summoned a demon.
which is, for one, extremely illegal. only certified demonologists are allowed to summon demons because they're so dangerous. anything less than a perfect binding circle and thoroughly researched info on the demon, including their true name, is even remotely safe.
but, weirdly enough… the demon seems just as surprised as they are. as Sam and Tuck frantically try to figure out how to dispel the demon, they realize–oh god, did their circle actually sufficiently bind the demon? it can't leave. they watch the demon tentatively poke it's claws into the air around the boundary, and watch it fizzle, retreating back with a strained hiss.
okay. okay, they can do this. without death looming over their heads, they can figure out how to send the demon back. it's cool, it's fine. except while they leaf through their books, they notice the demon watching them. it looks kind of… curious. timid. interested in what they're doing. it catches them noticing his staring, and it. apologizes? it seems flustered?
weird, okay. they keep looking, and the demon starts talking. at first, little comments to itself. mumbles that soon get just loud enough to hear. little “ooh, is that a telescope?" and “is that what fire looks like up here?" and “that must be for making charcoal…”
Sam is the one brave enough to be like "are all demons as chatty as you??” and the demon gets flustered again, apologizing. says he's just never been topside before, he's only read about humans in tomes. oh wow is that the moon outside? it really IS blue up here! is it always blue? what are you doing up? I thought humans slept at night?
Sam and Tuck can't help getting pulled in with the demon's genuine curiosity. they're wary though, since they know demons can be clever, conniving. there's a number of ways a demon can get the upper hand on a summoner who has them bound. if he gets their full names, gets them to smudge and break the circle… there could also be ways they aren't aware of. so they consider their words carefully, but engage in some chatter while they research.
it's almost morning by the time they find a way to send the demon back–but as they prepare the spell, the demon says WAIT WAIT and they stop, uncertain. the demon starts stammering out how this is weird but like… he really had fun tonight. he doesn't get to just hang out much, especially with anyone his age.
Tuck is like “how do you know our ages??" and the demon points out "oh, you said something about Paulie’s 18th birthday party, so I thought…” and they're both like oh shit we didn't even notice we did that?
“Paulina" Sam corrects in her dumbfounded stupor.
“Right, Paulina!" the demon snaps his fingers, but quickly loses his confidence when Sam and Tuck continue to stare at him like they're not sure what's going on. he coughs and fidgets and says “um, well, I was just wondering, I guess… if you wanted to summon me another time, I wouldn't mind. you see those circles there? yeah, that's what summoned me. the candles helped too I think. oh, it doesn't need all those runes though, probably don't want to redraw all those.”
Sam and Tuck are practically gawking, but… for some reason, this demon looks so sincere. so much like them, awkward and lonely and genuinely curious.
it's a bad idea. a terrible one, even. the demon probably noticed they're newbies and not demonologists. it could be hoping they make an error in their circle, or mess up a candle, or reveal their names on accident.
But, well. They're stupid. they're also eager for anything to help them in school, and too empathetic for their own good. they send the demon off with a yeah, no. they then think about it for a week, and end up summoning the demon against their better judgment.
the demon is shocked and so happy, they can't help but be a little endeared. they lay down some ground rules, take care to be as safe as possible… and soon, this demon that introduces himself as “Phantom" becomes a nightly visitor. they talk about their worlds, find out they share a lot of common interests, and help each other in their studies. which, hello, demons also study? bro are you serious??
they play games, laugh till their ribs hurt, and open up to each other on a far deeper level than anyone expected. over time, Phantom becomes a true friend.
Sam and Tuck quietly begin to lament the fact Phantom is stuck in that damn circle. they want to take him places, let him see the human world he seems so interested in. they want to paint his stupid claws and noogie him between his dumb horns and hug him.
but it's an astronomical risk. it's legal for a demonologist with a proper permit, but it's still considered a grave taboo to grant access to a demon outside a circle. there's just too much at risk. demons can be dangerous enough to lay waste to entire towns, take multiple teams of military-rank mages to take down.
they wouldn't risk it… if they hadn't snuck into the library’s restricted section and copy a page from a demonologist book that gives them good framework for a contract. they make some edits to it though, giving Phantom at least a little wiggle room to protect himself if need be. and allow him use of transformation magic so he can hide somehow. but they spend weeks making sure they have airtight wording to ensure Phantom can't cause anyone or anything any substantial harm.
when they finally bring the contract to Phantom, he's stunned. he cries. nothing needs to be said, they all know the gravity of their proposal. even if they ask for proof of Phantom's trust in turn, first. they ask for his full name, so they can bind him. just temporarily. but in that moment, they'll have full control over him. they could instead tell Phantom to serve them, force him to obey their every order. even if it's just for a moment, giving them his full name with the proper circle and incantation, is putting his life in their hands.
Phantom, with tears still in his eyes, smiles warmly and nods. with only a breath to steel himself, he gives them his full name. Daniel James Fenton.
magic sparks in the circle, and Sam and Tuck finish the incantation. ethereal chains sprout up to wrap around Phantom's arms and legs, which makes him jump–but the unwavering trust in his eyes makes the two humans choke up.
they release the binding. all that's left is to break the containment barrier in the circle, so Phantom can walk free.
“Uh, about that…” Phantom laughs sheepishly… then proceeds to step outside of the circle, merely wincing when the barrier zaps around him.
Sam and Tucker gawk. Phantom scratches his neck. “Y-yeah, so… your barrier circle was already broken that first night. It's, uh… right over there. You missed a spot.”
abject horror overcomes them because this entire time Phantom's been visiting, he could have broken out? EASILY?? THEY WOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD.
Tucker falls to his knees, but soon starts to laugh. it's kind of hysterical at first but slowly, he and Sam are genuinely laughing. they're so STUPID, and Phantom is the most un-demonlike demon they've ever HEARD of. Phantom is still flustered, stammering out apologies because he wasn't trying to deceive them or anything! he just didn't want to scare them! without a proper containment circle they technically couldn't send him back either, so he just… went back using his own magic each time they “dispelled" him.
once they've calmed down, Phantom morphs his body into a human form–which shock Sam and Tuck, because uh, only elite demons are capable of that. they were expecting an animal, or straight up going invisible. Phantom laughs it off, says he just, spent a lot of time practicing bc he's so interested in the human world (not a lie, but). he proceeds to adopt the nickname Danny, and they all have FUN WONDERFUL SHENANIGANS
(and sometime in the near future, when faced with something truly threatening he needs to protect them from, Danny reveals that. well. their contract also had some holes in it. and he's had access to his full demon power this whole time. whoopsie! it's a good thing he genuinely loves them and doesn't want to hurt anyone, or their asses would be SO dead lol)
they're about as normal about his full demon form as you'd expect from me btw:
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#danny phantom#dp demon au#everlasting trio#when is it not lmao#zilly art#Tucker: oh I am SO climbing that#Tucker: no I'm serious get me a grappling hook
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The Other Woman
Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3
The doctors and psychologists said it’d be great for your husband’s well-being to be with friends and family. And for the most part, that’s proven true.
Insisting on welcoming Satoru back properly, his students organised a party and invited anyone who had a remote connection with their teacher. Even Nanami had taken time off from work to be here and had given a polite pat on his shoulder and a genuine greeting.
That brought a huge smile to the white-haired man who pounced on the poor guy without remorse, giggling about how he knew he ‘always liked him really’. It felt great to watch him be surrounded by and showered with so much love and support, the kind he deserves; you could tell it was bringing life back to him. After all, it must have been painful for him to have been cooped up in the house trying to reconcile his new reality with the one he remembers.
You keep reminding yourself of that.
Satoru needs this.
He needs normalcy. The normal he remembers, the normal he went to sleep thinking about and not the one he had suddenly woken up to, years passing him by.
Everyone knows this. He knows this. Just as you do.
So why is every person in the party sneaking you pitying and concerned glances?
Sure, no one could possibly think this is easy for you, to be the stranger that Satoru still gets surprised to see in the morning. The one he hesitates to say goodnight to, unsure of the boundaries, the etiquette, the right thing to do. He sometimes forgets to text you if he’s going out, shocked and annoyed, you’re sure, to see the many missed calls and messages from you. And you know he studies the picture frames all over your house like a textbook that would give him all the answer he needs.
All he gets, you’re willing to bet, is the realisation that you’re both the tether he needs to keep grounded, that guides him through the sea of memories he cannot touch, and the leash that binds him to a role he doesn’t remember signing up for.
Are they looking at you with worry because of the inevitable toll this sudden shift has taken on your mental health or because your husband is talking to his ex-girlfriend the way he used to talk to you?
It can’t be the latter, right?
Because there’s nothing to be worried about.
Satoru is simply catching up, trying to stitch up the crater-sized hole in his memory with a familiar face. There’s no reason for your hand to shake as you sip your drink or for your eyes to keep darting back over to them, sat alone at a table like they’re the only people in here.
He’s laughing, throwing his head back and making that obnoxious cackle you love to hear. Loved. Because this one isn’t for you. It’s for her. The woman he shouldn’t be near, the woman he shouldn’t even think about, shouldn’t let touch his arm.
You’re the wife.
You’ve got the ring to prove it.
He’s wearing it. Just not on the hand attached to the arm strung over the back of her chair like he’s protecting her from the rest of the world. Hell, maybe he is. Maybe his infinity is on and covering her. But you don’t have it in you to throw something at them to find out. Either result would be just as humiliating as the other.
There’s nothing to be done.
You can’t interrupt.
Because Satoru needs to know what he said goodbye to all those years ago to know what he says ‘hey, pretty lady’ and ‘good morning, gorgeous’ to now. Or used to say. Now, you’re lucky if he even looks at you without shuffling his feet.
Eventually, the night draws to its natural end.
People bid their farewells twice, once to him and her, and then to you. Each time breaks your heart even more until you feel it crumble inside, little shards falling to pieces he won’t pick up. She stands before you, a small, shy smile, like she knows what she’s done. And says it’s ‘lovely to meet you’, and of course you can’t say it back.
Not when you had been introduced by your name, ‘my beautiful wife’ going nowhere near the tip of his tongue as if those words had never been uttered by your husband. And not when she had been introduced in a hastily withdrawn, stuttered freudian slip of hell.
“This is my girlfr— Sorry, I mean, my friend. From high school. Yeah, high school.”
Satoru blushes, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he waves goodbye to her. And you can tell he finds the act lacklustre, an uninspired, unnatural way to say goodbye to the woman you woke up to and slept beside.
“Did you have a good time?”
He nods, a soft smile playing on his lip as he casts his gaze across the room, sweeping by the empty hall like he can still see every single person that came. “It was nice to see everyone and catch up.”
You’re thankful he doesn’t ask if you enjoyed the evening because you can’t lie to him but you also can’t tell the truth, can’t burden him anymore with the reminder that he doesn’t fill the shoes of your husband, that he continues to stumble with every step, dragging you down with him.
So, instead, you fill the silence with a question that is so harmless, so normal it slips out before you can even think to anticipate the devastating crack that goes through your very soul.
“Ready to go home?”
Satoru nods.
But he’s looking at a seat in the back.
A seat that’s probably still warm. A seat you could never fill because you aren’t the woman he thought, hoped, he would marry.
You’re just the woman he did.
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Text
Shameless
Charles Leclerc x Reader x Max Verstappen
Summary: you + Lestappen + a sex tape leak + one very unamused head of communications … need I say more?
Based on this request
The Red Bull Racing communications office smells like stale coffee and impending doom. Portia, the team’s head of communications, sits stiffly in the center of the storm, knuckles white around her phone. She stares at the video playing on her laptop, horrified but unable to look away.
The footage is intimate, explicit — grainy but undeniably clear. Three people, tangled up in sheets, moaning names, gasping into each other’s mouths. Max Verstappen. You. And, unmistakably, Charles Leclerc.
Her inbox is a dumpster fire of urgent PR memos, emails with subject lines in all caps, and press releases that have already been revised half a dozen times. She hasn’t even responded to half of them yet. No point.
This is beyond damage control.
The door swings open violently, smacking into the wall. Max strolls in first, looking every bit as casual as if he just finished a training session. You follow behind him, your hair in a messy bun, holding a half-eaten croissant. Charles is the last to enter, chewing gum like this is the most ordinary thing in the world.
Portia blinks at the three of you. “… What the hell?”
Max plops into the chair across from her, sprawling out like he’s just arrived at a friend’s house. “What’s up?”
“What’s up?” Portia repeats, incredulous. “You-” She gestures frantically toward her screen. “The video. The world just saw everything, Max! You, her, him-” She throws a desperate look at Charles, who only shrugs.
“Yeah. We saw,” Charles says casually, pulling out a chair and sitting down next to Max. “Kind of funny, no?”
Portia makes a strangled noise in her throat. “No! It is not funny, Charles. None of this is funny!” She can already feel the migraine creeping in, sharp and mean behind her left eye.
Max leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Listen, it’s not like we were hiding it. We’ve been-”
“Friends,” you interject, your voice calm as ever. “Very close friends.”
Charles grins. “Really close.”
Max winks. “Super close.”
Portia pinches the bridge of her nose. “Stop saying that.”
“You’re the one freaking out,” Max says, as if that makes any of this better. “It’s not a big deal.”
Portia throws up her hands. “Max, it’s not just a sex tape. It’s a scandal. Sponsors, shareholders, media outlets — everyone is calling. Red Bull is losing its mind, Ferrari is fuming, and the internet-” She gestures vaguely toward the air, as if the internet is some wild animal loose in the building. “-is losing its collective shit.”
Charles leans back, folding his arms behind his head. “The internet always loses its shit.”
“True,” Max agrees, glancing at you. “Remember when they thought we broke up because I didn’t post anything for two weeks?”
You hum thoughtfully, finishing the last bite of your croissant. “They were so mad.”
Portia stares at the three of you like she’s trapped in some bizarre fever dream. “Are none of you remotely concerned about this?”
Max shrugs. “Not really.”
“It’s out now,” you say, wiping your hands on a napkin. “What’s the point of stressing?”
Charles nods like you just delivered the most profound truth of the century. “Exactly. It’s not like we can put it back in the box.”
“Oh my god,” Portia mutters, pressing her palms to her temples. “You’re all insane.”
Max flashes her a charming smile — the kind that usually gets him out of trouble. “Come on, Portia. You handle worse than this all the time.”
“Not this, I don’t!” She groans. “I mean, sure, we’ve dealt with crashes, team infighting, broken engines, drunk interviews-” She shoots a pointed look at Max, who grins unapologetically. “But this? This is next level.”
Charles checks his phone, seemingly unbothered by her panic. “The fans seem to love it, though. Look-” He flips the screen toward Portia. It’s a Twitter thread full of memes and heart-eye emojis, captioned with things like Lestappen and Y/N living their best lives and Honestly, goals.
Portia glares at the phone like it just insulted her family. “This is not helping.”
Max raises an eyebrow. “Actually, it kind of is.” He points at the screen. “If the fans are cool with it, the sponsors will calm down eventually.”
“Sponsors are not fans.” Portia slams her laptop shut, as if doing so will somehow make the problem disappear. “Sponsors are very rich, very conservative people who do not want their logos anywhere near a video of you having a threesome!”
Charles clicks his tongue thoughtfully. “Technically, it’s not just a threesome.”
Portia shoots him a death glare. “I swear to God, Charles-”
You stifle a laugh, covering your mouth with your hand. Max notices, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he nudges you with his elbow. “See? Even Y/N thinks it’s funny.”
“It’s a little funny,” you admit, which only makes Charles beam with satisfaction.
Portia looks like she’s on the verge of a breakdown. “This is not funny. None of this is funny.”
“I think you need to relax,” Max says, as if that’s the simplest solution in the world. “It’s not like we committed a crime.”
“It might as well be,” Portia snaps. “Do you know what Ferrari is going to do with this? They’re probably drafting some moral code violation complaint as we speak.”
Charles waves a hand dismissively. “They can’t fire me. I bring too much to the table.”
Portia gives him a flat look. “Charles, you are the table.”
“Exactly.”
Max turns to you, his hand casually resting on the back of your chair. “Do you think we should put out a statement?”
You consider it for a moment, then shake your head. “Nah. Statements are boring.”
“Agreed,” Charles says, pulling his phone back out to scroll through more tweets. “No one likes statements.”
Portia exhales slowly, as if trying to summon every ounce of patience she has left. “Okay, so let me get this straight. Your solution to this PR nightmare is ... to do absolutely nothing?”
“Exactly,” Max says with a satisfied nod. “We just let it blow over.”
“Like Austria,” you add.
Portia stares at you, aghast. “Austria? You cannot compare this to a racing incident in Austria!”
Max looks thoughtful. “I don’t know. I think it’s kind of similar. People get mad for a while, then they forget.”
Charles grins mischievously. “By next week, someone else will do something stupid, and no one will care about this.”
Portia groans, dragging her hands down her face. “You are all ... impossible.”
Max reaches across the table to pat her shoulder. “You’ll see. Everything will be fine.”
“Max,” Portia says, her voice low and dangerous. “If this mess costs us a single sponsor — just one — I swear I will make your life a living hell.”
Max’s grin widens. “You already do.”
You burst out laughing at that, and even Portia can’t suppress a reluctant smile, though it’s clear she’s fighting it with every fiber of her being.
“This isn’t over,” she warns, but there’s no real bite in her voice.
“It never is,” Charles says breezily. “But that’s half the fun, no?”
You lean into Max’s side, content and completely unbothered, and he drapes an arm around your shoulders. Charles glances over at the two of you, a lazy grin spreading across his face. “See? We’re all good. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Portia shoots him a murderous glare. “Do not say that.”
Max laughs, the sound low and easy, and for a moment, it feels like the world outside the room doesn’t exist — no scandals, no cameras, no angry emails. Just the three of you, stuck in the strangest mess, but somehow, perfectly fine with it.
And, really, isn’t that all that matters?
***
A few weeks later, Portia is sitting at her desk, sipping her second coffee of the morning, when her inbox pings with a new email. She glances at the subject line, hoping it’s something routine — maybe a press update, or an invitation to a sponsor event.
Instead, her heart drops.
URGENT: New Video — Verstappen, Leclerc, and Y/L/N on Beach Vacation
She groans audibly, slamming her head down on the desk with a dramatic thud. They didn’t listen to her at all.
Opening the email, her stomach churns as she scrolls down to the attached link. The video loads instantly — there’s Max, Charles, and you, sun-kissed and carefree, lounging on beach chairs somewhere tropical. The sound of waves crashing in the background is almost soothing.
Almost.
And then, without warning, it escalates — hands everywhere, tangled limbs, kisses that start off playful but quickly turn into something else entirely. A bottle of rosé tips over in the sand as Max pulls you onto his lap, and Charles leans over, dragging his mouth along your shoulder with a grin.
Portia shakes her head in disbelief, muttering under her breath, “I’m going to kill them.”
Another ping. This time, a text from Max.
Saw the email. You’re gonna love the next one.
She screams into her coffee mug.
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