#even if it means i am so exhausted that the rest of my life stops existing
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pepprs · 2 years ago
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#to translate this post: someone liked this post i made (on the upper left) on AUGUST 28 having a moment of self awareness that i was running#away from my whole life and not moving or learni ng to drive or anything. it is now march 8. it has been almost 7 months. and i have made#basically zero progress. and there is nothing stopping me but me. i could read the drivers manual and whatever whenever i want. but i am not#doing anything. and i don’t know how to get myself to start.#purrs#i know it’s a cop out excuse but i truly do think it’s covid. i think being in lockdown for a year and a half made me just let go of any#sense of progress. made me scared to take steps forward. and i mean i did bc i lived on campus for a while after that but it’s like.. EVERY#part of my life is stagnant rn it seems. and it’s not just me it’s my siblings too. we’re all getting older but none of us is trying to move#out or gain our independence in any way and my brother isn’t even looking for jobs even though he needs one. we’re all just getting older#but we’ve lost (or maybe had knocked out of us by covid and our mom being so strict) any sense of moving ipward and spreading our wings.#forgotten we have wings at all. and ive done important things like going on a house tour or traveling with my besties (<3). but i have only#made it to page 8 of the drivers manual and i truly do not want to read the rest of it. i have only been on one house tour and im longing to#move out but how much am i really because i can’t bring myself to schedule another tour and start searching for a new home in earnest.#i just come home every day UTTERLY exhausted and spend all my free time trying to process or rest. and im not making room for myself to use#my wings. and it’s truly terrible. why are we all okay with living like this. my younger self would be HORRIFIED if she saw how much i had a#atrophied since graduating and moving back home. my brighton self would be HORRIFIED. i told myself i wouldn’t and then it’s exactly what i#did. and ik im being harsh and ive spread my wings in some important ways during this time but… these are so obvious. such low hanging#fruit in some ways. bc any 16 year old can take this test and pass it so why can’t i at 24? why won’t i let myself? dont i want a nice cozy#home i make my own where i can eat what i want and sleep when i want and have control over sounds? then why am i not running for it?#delete later#i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 my one precious life 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃#also LMFAOOOOO the next tag on that aug 28 post was that i need to get a new campus id card… guess who hasn’t done that either ♥️
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freebooter4ever · 4 hours ago
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watching rory get into her dream school makes me nostalgic ^_^ though this is probably why i identify more with lorelai sr cause when i heard my early decision app to car*negie me*llon was accepted i had nobody to celebrate with, i just sprawled on my bedroom floor and watched pirates of the caribbean on my laptop. but it was the happiest night of my entire high school days, it meant i was getting out.
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chastiefoul · 11 months ago
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when he says "please."
ft. genshin characters
characters: neuvilette, wriothesley, diluc, xiao genre: fluff and a smidge of angst in diluc's. just a little one i promise!! a/n: will be making more from this prompt any character request perhaps??
neuvilette
he pulled you close, eager to be pressed against you after having to be away from you for hours because of work. you smiled at the proximity, the longing was in fact mutual. he eyed your lips so attentively; such delight after a hard day of labor, surely you’d grant him that? he leaned it and stopped an inch before your lips met his, his breath tickled your right cheek. “may i?” he whispered, if there’s a time where he’d stop asking permission to steal a kiss, it was not that day. and that fact made your stomach go all crazy. you indulged in his eagerness for a minute, teasing your lover who had the patience as wide as the sea. “...please?” he mumbled, sounding a little desperate. you put your arms around his neck, bringing him closer, pressing a sweet kiss on his lips. “i’m all yours, neuvilette.”
wriothesley
“should i remind you that this is still work hour and i needed to be out of this fortress like an hour ago?” you scolded him, yet it did nothing to the tightness of his grip around your waist as you went to get up from his lap. “baby you honestly had too much faith in me if you think i could resist letting you go when you came in all pretty like this to visit me,” he continued to rest his head on your shoulder, closing his eyes with no worry in the world. “wriothesley.” you sighed, your tone reprimanding. “five more minutes for the special meal from the coupon cafeteria?” he tried. “are you bribing me...?” you asked, fighting a smile that’s dangerously close to invading your lips. “is it working? i could throw something else in there, like three of sigewinne’s rare stickers maybe?” he asked playfully, planting kisses all over your cheek and you couldn’t hold the grin. “cute that you believe she gave the rare stickers to you.” you smiled mischievously, wriothesley’s face immediately understood the unsaid words. “no,” he said at the betrayal. “mhm, she gave me the full limited collection too so your bribe means nothing now,” you said, raising an eyebrow in challenge. he just chuckled,  “figures.” you tried once more to get off his lap thinking that you caught him off guard but of course he didn’t budge. “wrio,” you whine. “five more minute. please baby, you can give me that at least, right? i’ll be good i promise.” he pleaded, and you rarely see him do that. you sighed, knowing you’re defeated way before he begged for you to stay. “five minutes it is.”
you end up staying there the whole day.
diluc
the life of an adventurer kept you busy, going to all sort of places and meet all kinds of creatures and that bounds to give you wounds and injury both physically and mentally. and of course diluc was the one to be concerned over you more than yourself. he never offered any complaints about the path you chose, as he gave you his full support instead. although a little part of his heart sometimes slipped away after seeing you home with another cut added to the barely healed skin from the wound before.
on a somewhat quiet night as he knelt in front of you as he tend to the injury on your knee he spoke, voice barely above a whisper. “can you try to be more careful?” he pressed the cotton on the wound with alcohol, earning a little hiss from your mouth. “i am being careful, you should see what happens to the other guy.” you smiled, offering a joke but when you didn’t see even an ounce of amusement on your lover’s face you know this time it’s serious. his hand stopped moving, he took a deep breath. “please, love. i can’t.. i don’t know if i can handle more of you falling into my arms out of exhaustion, and you’re barely conscious.” his voice incredibly weak, his eyes glassy as he gazed the floor. your heart felt like it’s being ripped into a new one as you saw him. you pulled him into his chest. “i’m sorry. diluc i’m sorry. i promise i’ll be more careful. no more taking commission until i’m fully healed. i’m sorry, love.” he just nodded, basking in your touch. as long as you come back to him alive and well, it’s all good.
xiao
“here comes a thought,” you said out of nowhere. xiao just hummed, letting you to proceed with the said thought as he’s sure it didn’t even matter what’s his response was. “you’re too demanding, at times,” you boldly claimed, as the sentence left him speechless. demanding? “how so?” he asked quietly, clearly bothered by what you said. “i was kidding. demanding isn’t the right word, it’s just, sometimes i wanna hear you say please, you know?” you reassured his doubt. xiao just stared at you blankly, face clearly telling you that he’s in fact does not know. “alright, that’s not a hard request.” he complied almost immediately. “okay, then say it?” you asked.
“now? but i am not currently asking for anything,” xiao said rationally, and that’s not what you’re looking for. “okay, pretend you’re asking for a kiss,” you said, smiling playfully, “what?!” the yaksha quickly became flustered. you took his hand, and he let you. “i’ll even give you one for real-“
“y/n, please.” he covered his face with his free hand, bashful beyond belief that he begged for you to stop talking because he’s not currently functioning properly. for someone who lived through two thousand years, he’s just not quite immune to your teasing and never will be, it seemed. you smiled happily, “that’s not so hard, was it?” xiao who just looked at you who’s all smiley just couldn’t help but mirror your expression with a little smile of his own.
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hyunebunx · 2 months ago
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Wow I’m stupid I pressed send way too fast 🩵 with Lee Know??
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˖˙ ᰋ ── 🩵 - kissing in the rain with Minho
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﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. genre: a teeny tiny amount of angst but it has a happy ending
﹙ʚɞ˚﹚. a/n: thank you sm for requesting!!! <3 i had soo many ways of writing this in my head that i struggled lol. i really hope you like what i came up with. it's loosely (very) based on the rain scene in pride and prejudice so enjoy!! <33
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Arguments were not a usual occurrence in your relationship. Most of the time you managed to settle any disagreement before it could escalate to such heights, the perfectly communicating couple all of your friends couldn’t help but feel a little envious of.
Now was not one of those times; your stress and emotions were getting the best of both you and Minho in the most unpleasant way. You hated arguing with him, getting angry and unable to see the other’s point of view, clouded by the desire to be right and make each other understand where you were coming from.
“You don’t get it.” Minho shakes his head with a sigh, forearms resting on the wheel as the rain poured outside your safe haven, hitting the windshield at an alarming pace and preventing you from seeing anything, even with the headlights on.
“Explain it to me, then!” You bite back, body facing his in the heated passenger seat that was keeping you warm and cozy despite the chill outside. Even when arguing you could admit Minho was the most considerate person alive – you didn’t ask him to turn on the heat, he must have done it when he noticed you trembling like a leaf after getting in.
He surprised you after work, dropping by and driving directly to one of your favorite restaurants just in time for dinner and a well deserved date night. Everything was perfect, the location, the food, and especially the company, laughing and having a great time with the love of your life.
Until things turned sour on your drive home, and what started as a silly disagreement turned into a full-on argument about something you didn’t find significant enough even to remember.
“That’s what I’ve been doing for the past ten minutes but it seems you don’t want to listen!”
You’ve been walking (or driving) in circles, with him getting frustrated and you following right on his tail until the car came to a stop right in front of your apartment building.
It’s not like you didn’t want to listen or care to hear him out, it’s just that Minho seemed to make something out of nothing, insisting and pushing forth the same idea like you were nothing more than a child who lacked basic comprehension. It was frustrating and exhausting, especially after the long day you’ve had.
“Min, I’ve been listening.” You try to smooth things over, warm hand landing on his thigh comfortingly. “Just because I’m not giving you the answers you want doesn’t mean I’m not hearing you.”
Minho remains silent, head turned the other way to stare out the window and not acknowledge your presence. When the silence stretches on, you give up with a sigh and retract your hand, reaching for your purse in the backseat and opening the car door in the same breath.
“What are you – “ You close it right before he can finish the sentence, set on getting inside with or without him to finally take the bubble bath you’ve been daydreaming about all day at work.
“Kitten!” His voice follows a moment later, the sound of the car door slamming louder than him amongst the deafening rain. “Y/n!”
Despite yourself and the insanity of spending even one more minute in this storm, you stop and allow him to catch up, not protesting as his warm hands land on your shoulders and turn you around almost desperately.
“Where are you going? We are not done talking.” He states, dark hair and clothes getting soaked at an alarming pace as the rain spares neither of you.
“But I am!” You exhale, the chill settling into your bones. “We won’t reach an agreement like this so let’s just stop!”
His eyes widen as he pulls you closer, chest to chest, figures illuminated by the bright headlights almost blinding. “Baby, wait – “
“I hate fighting with you, Min.” Without meaning to, you interrupt him once again, reaching up to cup his face and drag him closer. “I’m sorry, okay? We can talk this over calmly inside after we cool down. Just not like this, please, I can’t do it anymore.”
He nods instantly, agreeing without a doubt and most likely seeing his faults too, and not only yours. Then, when you expect him to let go and finally follow you in, Minho surprises you the second time tonight by leaning over and connecting your lips in a kiss full of passion and love, reminding you once again that the heart in his chest beats first and foremost for you. His upper limbs cling to your body just like your clothes, hugging you tightly while your hands squeeze his face affectionately, a smile sneaking past and pulling one from him as well, on the verge of beaming into the kiss.
The rain seems to disappear, the cold too, like you weren’t bothered by either in the first place. Minho has that effect on you, helping you see the good in every situation. Sure, the location was not ideal – nothing could be less romantic than a barely lit parking lot – but as always, the company mattered more. And the message he was trying to send. When words failed you, actions worked better, speaking louder and getting your point across without much effort.
Sure, the argument wasn’t resolved but you both managed to make the other understand what mattered the most. You might be disagreeing now, momentarily stuck in a small pothole along the way, but you still loved each other, you would get over it and be okay in the end.
Because that’s what true love meant. Getting through things together and continuing to walk down your joined paths, hand in hand, no matter how many potholes or rough patches you encounter. A small setback won’t ever erase your feelings for each other, or make you forget all the beautiful moments you’ve shared.
And maybe, just maybe, a kiss was all you needed to finally understand Minho’s point when you sat down and resolved things that night. He, on the other hand, needed a few more to be satisfied.
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nyctoaerah · 5 months ago
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★ TAKING CARE OF YOU!
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CONTENT: Fluff, Crack, Domestic Life, Timeline was two years after the final battle, Sexual Themes, Sanemi’s vulgar mouth (lmao)
PAIRINGS: Sanemi Shinazugawa x Fem! Reader
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Sanemi hummed deeply as his calloused fingers tossed the pale yellow rice in the hot skillet.
You nuzzled your worn body against his back and inhaling the comforting scents of ginger and soy that rose from the pan. Wrapping your lone arm tightly around his waist, you pressed a gentle kiss between his shoulder blades and let out a contented sigh.
“You alright, love?”
Sanemi questioned upon hearing your weary exhale..
“A little bit tired...” Sluggishly, you tried squeezing him closer to convey your meaning, but your grip had slackened.
Concern rippled through Sanemi’s frame at your words. “Rest then,” he replied gruffly.
“But I wanna help,” you protested weakly, lifting your head with effort. Shifting to peer over his shoulder, you pulled your best pouting expression, though your exhaustion likely dulled the effect.
Sanemi huffed a sigh and rolled his eyes at your attempt.
“I’ve got this covered. You need to recover your strength,” he insisted, free hand rising to card through your disheveled hair in a rare gentle gesture, he frowned slightly as he saw that your usual radiance was muted, lovely eyes dull with exhaustion.
His eyes swept to your leaning form with a inspecting gaze that lingered on the space where your other arm had been.
“You can’t just expect me to let you cook and clean the house on your own when you only have one hand,” Sanemi muttered gruffly, turning back to the yakimeshi.
“Rest. You need it.” His voice was gentle as he tenderly ran his fingers through your hair, planting a soft kiss on your temple.
You furrowed your brows, a mix of exhaustion and defiance in your eyes as you stared at him. Your protest was on the tip of your tongue, but as Sanemi shot you a firm look, the words died down in your throat.
“Now.” he repeated, his tone leaving no room for argument.
With a defeated sigh, you begrudgingly pulled away from him, elbowing him lightly in the side as you did so. Sanemi let out a grunt of irritation, his eyes rolling in response to your brattiness.
“Just go rest, for me, darling...”
“Say please first.”
Sanemi shot you an exasperated glare, the lines on his forehead deepening in irritation.
“Just go and rest, for fuck’s sake, woman,” he grumbled, shaking his head in frustration and fondness.
“Nuh-uh. Say pretty please f’me, Nemi~” 
You couldn't help but taunt him further, a sly smile curling at the corners of your mouth.
“Say pretty please or you have no balls” you quipped, knowing exactly how to push his buttons.
He deadpanned at you.
“My darling [Name], my love, my soul, you let me fuck you senseless most of the time and you have the audacity to say that?” Sanemi’s voice was laced with disbelief, his narrowed eyes locking onto yours.
“what even is the connect of you having no balls to that...”
You muttered, weirded out at his bluntness as your smug facade crumbled under his scrutiny, a sudden rush of uncertainty creeping into your mind.
Before you could come up with a retort, frustration bubbled up within you, culminating in a defiant gesture as you raised your middle finger and stuck your tongue out petulantly.
“Rest now.” he commanded, his tone brooking no argument. You opened your mouth to shoot back a snarky remark, but his next words stopped you in your tracks.
“Or maybe I'll just fuck that attitude right out of you, and make you beg for rest,” he declared bluntly, a hint of amusement dancing in his eyes despite his bold words.
“You disgusting freak.”
A frown marred your features. You knew all too well that he wasn't one to make empty threats, his actions always speaking louder than words.
“Yeah, yeah, i am a disgusting freak. Now go.” He shooed you away.
“Fine,” you grumbled under your breath, not really in the mood for it, and casting a final eye-roll his way before reluctantly making your way back to your shared room.
“Hmph.” Sanemi scoffed.
As you left, Sanemi’s gaze lingered on you for a while before he went back to cooking again.
It has been two years since the demon slayer corps was disbanded.
And you and Sanemi now found solace in each other, joined as one in marriage — Just like the two of you had always dreamt off in the past — getting married together and making a family.
It was a bit tough for you two, since the both of you are technically amputees because of the final battle, but you two managed to make it work.
Though Sanemi had lost several fingers in the battle, your wounds ran far deeper — your left eye was gone, as was your left hand — it got sliced when you were fighting with the uppermoon one on the infinity fortress
It was tough being like this, but with you, he was happy.
After finishing cooking and preparing the fragrant yakimeshi, Sanemi hurried to your shared room and carefully placed the steaming tray of food on the polished wooden table, the aroma wafting through the air.
As he expected, you were not peacefully resting but reclining on the bed with a pout on your face — still seemingly bitter about him previously telling you to let him do all the work.
“Hey... Food is ready,” Sanemi announced, observing your reaction as you turned towards him, a hint of irritation in your expression.
“Are you forgetting something?” you questioned, arching an eyebrow expectantly.
What did you mean by that..?
Oh.
Oh..
Sanemi rolled his eyes before gracefully picking up the tray and lowering himself to his knees, presenting the delicious meal to you in a humble gesture.
“Here you go, your majesty. Your feast awaits,” he declared playfully, a smile tugging at his lips as you couldn’t help but giggle at the theatrical display. “Good, you may rise now,” you commanded in a regal tone, attempting to sound majestic, which only made him chuckle at how stupid you sound.
You curled your fingers around the smooth porcelain bowl, feeling its cold edges press into your skin as you lifted it from the tray.
Sanemi took the tray and placed it back on the table, as he kneeled before you once again.
“Can you eat it alone?” 
he asked, purple eyes searching your face.
“Of course I can,” you replied, feeling a small twist of irritation.
“I’m not paralyzed.”
“Just because I’m missing one hand doesn’t make me helpless.”
“I know that,” he grumbled, voice low. Reaching out, he cupped your thigh in one hand, calloused fingers brushing your skin in idle circles.
“But let me care for you, just this once,” He continued.
“Let your husband take care of you, just for once, hm?”
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©𝐍𝐲𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐚𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐡 || 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬, 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝.♡
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aethelwyneleigh27 · 1 year ago
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Husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley with a Pregnant!Wife!Reader
Headcanons and Scenarios
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Am I back with baby fever? I mean yeah but this is less baby fever and more if Husband!Simon in honor of my first ever post that reached 1k likes in 4 days. Also you guys know Ghostie by now right? @connorsui mentioned that she wonders how Ghost and the reader met, guess who's writing about that?
Edit: SHIT, THIS POST HAS BEEN UP FOR SO LONG AND I FORGOT TO ADD CREDIT, I'M SO SORRY. The render above is by @ave661
Taglist: @puff0o0 @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @shadofireshinobi @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @ghosts-cyphera @cutenote @connorsui @capuccino192 @theredurzikdjinn @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb
Also @puff0o0, my most favorite moot has helped me come up with how they met, UGH ILYYY <333
My CoD Masterlist <3
Warnings/Disclaimers: Reader is pregnant, sick!Reader, mentions of vomiting (not detailed), pain of birth and all the other pregnancy warnings out there. (Extreme fluff)
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❥ Husband!Simon who had no fucking clue how to react when you first told him you got pregnant, I mean he knew at some point it would happen but not this soon?!
❥ Husband!Simon who in your early stages of pregnancy was the one holding your hair up while you empty the contents of your stomach on the toilet most mornings. He was the one who had a warm hand gently rubbing up and down your back while mumbling light encouragements, careful not to agitate you from the sickening feeling.
❥ Husband!Simon who was gradually getting the hang of things, getting clingier the further into the pregnancy. Once the baby bump comes in, bye bye personal space, Dad!Simon needs to have his hand on the bump no less than 10 times a day.
❥ Husband!Simon who is a sucker for kissing the baby bump, especially your stretch marks. He will be more gentle if you ask him to because your ticklish, but don't expect none of his stuble.
❥ Husband!Simon whose breath hitches when you took his large calloused hand onto your baby bump and felt movement, he had to blink twice up at you and look down again. Only now it was two hands holding the bump, waiting for more kicks.
❥ Husband!Simon who lets you do all the shopping with baby stuff because he has no idea what looks cute, every once in a while showing you something he thinks looks good and asks for your approval.
❥ Husband!Simon who looks back up at you in concern as he hears you whimper, as much as he wants more movement and feel the little one kick, you were in pain and uncomfortable. Some soothing words might help..?
You let out a soft whimper as you felt the baby kick again, god did she have her father's strength..
Simon still had his warm and heavy hand on the bump, feeling the little one's movement.
"Pumpkin.. give your momma a rest, she needs some sleep" Simon sleepily mutters. Just like that the movement stops.
"I swear she only ever listens to your voice, it's obvious that she's already a daddy's girl"
❥ Husband!Simon who is more than obsessed with the baby bump, albeit his ear over the bump to hear the baby, big calloused hands always have to be some place on it. You'll just find your husband clinging onto your bump, his head on your chest while his arms are wrapped around the loves of his life.
❥ Husband!Simon who was far more panicked than you were during the birth, he literally cannot even pay attention to the pain of your hand almost breaking his from the gripping because his heart is pounding in his chest while you push out the baby.
❥ Husband!Dad!Simon who was trembling the moment you forced him to open up his arms so he could hold the baby. She's so tiny, her whole body almost fits in just one of his hands. The moment he held her, she stopped wailing, trying so hard to open her little eyes.
❥ Husband!Dad!Simon couldn't help but pull you up into his arms too because you couldn't move up from exhaustion. Your hand on the little one's body that was cradled by her dad, his other arm wrapped around your shoulders while he kissed your sweaty forehead, singing praises to you about how thankful he is that you brought life to your little girl together.
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A/n: Hi guys, just to start off. I haven't been in a good space for a while now, I don't think I'm in the right headspace either. Not to say I'm taking a break, fuck no, I'd lose all my relevance if I did and I also think that taking a break from this won't be good for me or you guys because I don't want history to repeat itself.
If you guys don't know yet, I've been on the break in 2020 and didn't officially start writing again till 2023, finally entering a different fandom. I feel like taking a break would result into this whole thing again and I can't go through that all over again. I love writing so much and it hurt when I lost all my relevance on Wattpad.
My personal life outside of Tumblr is weird to explain, see things haven't been good regarding my situation with a friend. Neither do I feel good in school, everything in that place just sucks except for two other closer friends. There's still the dreadful 3 weeks left till Christmas vacation. Not only that but I get anxiety over so many things that may be little to most of you.
A mutual of mine so graciously has given me ideas for the next Ghostie posts, I love them, it's accurate and it's great and all however some part of me makes me feel so insignificant. Like why didn't I think of that? Why am I even writing if I'm just relying on other people's ideas? This is no shade to that mutual, thank you so much, hell I loved everything they told me. It's just always my anxiety and insecurities getting the better of me.
Apologies for the length of this. I'm quite busy and my clumsy fingers accidentally published something again 😭Anyway, more Ghostie content is on it's way :))
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 19 days ago
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Death Wish 10
Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of crime, violence/abuse and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.
My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.
Character: mob!Bucky Barnes
Part of the mob drabbles au
Summary: you’re desperate for a way out of your life and you ask a powerful man for help (plus!reader)
As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️
Photo Inspo
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“Come on, doll,” Barnes takes your hand and leads you across the room. You follow as you will for the rest of your life; obediently. 
His grip is like a vice as he guides you through the hall and down the stairs. Silence meets you at the bottom as your sisters no doubt hear the descent. Yet he doesn’t let you go nor make a move to leave. Instead, he brings you into the front room. 
He squeezes your hand, pressing the large ring into your finger, and releases you. He steps forward as Kitty turns away from the window and Adrienne stands from the sofa. He commands any room he enters and you don’t think you’ll ever be used to that. 
“Sisters,” he declares brightly, “that is what I will call you from now on.” 
He goes first to Kitty and places a kiss on her cheek, then does the same to Adrienne. Each watch him in confusion. You stare blankly. 
“And you can call me brother and ask for anything and everything you need,” he says. 
“Sir,” Kitty moves towards your younger sister. 
“I ask discretion for the time being as I tie up a few loose ends,” Barnes explains. “And we get you all settled where you need to be.” 
Your sisters blink at you then each other. You can’t say it out loud. That makes it real. 
Barnes turns on his heel, “speaking of loose ends, I should go.” 
He comes towards you and takes your hand again. He raises it, certain to show off the glaring diamond, and kisses it. The gesture makes your blood run cold. It is a statement. It isn’t the same as when you kiss his ring, it isn’t deference, no it is a show of ownership. 
“Have a good night,” you say at last. 
He pulls back and lowers your hand. He grins, “it’s already spectacular, doll.” 
He lets you go and steps past you. You stand, stuck in place, as he leaves. The door opens and closes, the hinges jarring you into motion. You go to lock it behind him and Kitty calls your name. 
“What’s going on?” She appears in the doorway. 
You take a breath before you face her. You shrug. Adrienne scrambles around her and snatches your hand. 
“Oh my god, it’s huge.” 
“Stop,” you try to tug your hand back. 
“You’re marrying him?” Kitty’s voice deflates by the last syllable. “Why?” 
You look between them. You can tell one sliver of the truth. “To keep us safe.” 
“Us? We’ll be fine. Barnes says we get an inheritance, we get houses, money--” 
“And then what? It’s not enough to last forever,” you argue. “Even if we can find work, we’ll never make enough to keep that. How long did you work at the yogurt shop before daddy threatened to burn it down? And I have about a week’s experience down at the diner.” 
“We can start now--” 
“We can start now and never reach the finish line,” you insist. “Kitty, you know who daddy was. You sat there and watched what they did to that man today. This isn’t a life you walk away from, even if he’s dead.” 
Adrienne sniffles. She’s on the edge of tears again. 
“So, you do it over? Marry another one? Go through it again?” Kitty challenges. 
“He can make sure that neither of you have to--” 
“We don’t need you to be our martyr,” Kitty argues. 
“I’m not--” you seal your lips and sigh. You wish you could tell her. You wish you could say I shot that fuck and he deserved it because you know she would have loved to do the same thing. Yet, saying it out loud means admitting that you’re all trapped for that moment of vengeance. “Kitty, how much choice do you think he gave me?” 
She stares at you. She knows exactly how it works. There is no asking with these men. 
“We could all go. Disappear.” 
“And they wouldn’t find us? How far could we get, really?” 
“Not far,” Adrienne pipes in. “Kitty, would you rather daddy still be here?” 
Your older sister is silent as her jaw squares. 
“I could marry instead. Maybe not Barnes but someone else. It shouldn’t be you. I’m the oldest--” 
“It is me,” you say, “and it could be any one of us but this is how it is. It’s... not the worst.” 
“It’s not?” Kitty says. “That man stood and ordered another beaten to death. He didn’t flinch.” 
“I know,” you say. 
“No, you don’t know,” Kitty insists, “you can’t be sure that he isn’t like daddy.” 
She’s right. Barnes might have helped vanquish the monster but it can’t erase his own misdeeds. Yet, you asked for all of this. You went there in the middle of the night and sold your soul. You could excuse yourself with naivete, but you deserve more to be branded by it. 
“If it keeps you two from men like daddy--” 
“Stop,” Kitty grabs you by the shoulders. “None of us deserve it.” 
“You stop,” you wrap your fingers calmly around her forearms and peel her hold off of you. “Should I go hand that man his ring back or do you want do it for me?” 
She untangles her wrists from your grasp and recoils. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes up against the threat of tears. She stamps her foot in frustration. 
“You tell me,” she points her finger at you. You’re almost stunned by the fire in her voice and face. Kitty is the sweet one, she’s gentle, but she has your mother’s quiet strength. “You tell me if he ever puts a bruise on you. You fucking tell me.” 
“Kitty,” you murmur. 
Adrienne covers her mouth and watches, swept up in the fraught emotion of it all. 
“No, because I spent a lifetime watching you two cry over that beast we called a father,” she snarls. “I will not waste the rest of my life doing the same. I thought—I thought we were free. I wanted us to be free.” She curls her lip and exhales heavily. “So, you will not lie to me again. And I will know. I will see right through him so you don’t even try to cover it up. One bruise...” she wags her finger then throw up both her hands with a frustrated growl. “I sound like him.” She turns and drags her feet to the stairs. She sits on one and hangs her head. “I sound like daddy. I’m just so... tired.” 
You look at Adrienne and reach for her. She gives you her hand. You bring her over to Kitty and touch your elder sister’s shoulder. She looks up through sparkling eyes. 
“You will know. We will all know. We are sisters and this doesn’t change that,” you say. “We stick together, no matter what.” 
“Oh, we will,” Kitty insists, “I will be at your damn house every day and I will look at that man and I will see all the cracks. Trust me you. He will not take you from us.” 
“Kitty, Ade,” you look from one to the other, “no one can take us from each other. If daddy did one thing, it was making sure of that.” 
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myslutwritings · 2 months ago
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Hi, i was wondering how the uppermoons react to the reader aka the love of their life crying herself to sleep after a huge argument, like they walk into their shared bedroom to find the reader laying on the bed with tear stained cheeks flushed face mouth slightly open, i know i know it's way too angst-y but i love being comforted when i cry and i am a cry baby so... Pretty please🥺
wowie😂 y’all seem to dig the crybaby reader headcanons so here’s some angst my lovelies!!
➤ Uppermoons comforting reader after an argument.
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pairing/featuring: crybaby!reader x the three uppermoons! content warning: lots of angst, douma has emotions, OOC!uppermoons, semi-nsfw, smaller reader, size difference, crybaby!reader.
— note: sorry if this comes off as cheesy! this is pure fluff headcanons for those who are sad and find comfort in our three lovely demons! so i wanted to go all out😅 so the uppermoons aren’t going to be THAT in character. [not proof read btw]
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KOKUSHIBO <3
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Kokushibo (the uppermoon one) and you got into one extremely heated and serious argument that day..
Is argument even the right word at this rate? more like a fight.
Like so bad you guys were screaming at each other the same way toxic parents who weren’t ever in love would fight. 🥲
The fight was so severe to the point where kokushibo just upped and left you alone for hours. He didn’t desire to fight that night and was exhausted from your constant screaming.
However..
Returns later that night to apologize since the fight was his fault only to find you crying in y’all’s shared bedroom..
Gods.. what has he done?!
Okay now he feels even worse. this is going to be troublesome considering he already has a hard time being intimate and expressing his feelings.
After all, koku here is very avoidant. but he’s not trying to be.
You immediately stop crying once you feel his presence. How long has he been standing there?
you want to tell to go away
you want to tell him you hate him (you don’t)
you want to say you love him
you want to say so many things
But nothing comes out.. you just can’t speak properly due to the utter anguish you’re in over the fight..
you’ve always been the biggest crybaby, a sensitive soul.
Kokushibo has always reassured you that he loved that about you. as if you’re the purest and most beautiful flower. an angel sent from the gods themselves.
Finally, you muster up the courage to speak
But right before you blurt out anything Kokushibo gathers you up on his arms and cradles you on his lap.
The gesture makes you eyes water more and you just end up sobbing into his shoulder muttering: “i’m sorry” over and over again.
some phrases you’ll hear from Kokushibo while crying are;
“i’m deeply sorry, my love. my intention was to never make you shed this many tears. That’s the last thing i want to do..”
“Please, no more tears, my dearest petal. I can’t stand witnessing you in such a state of misery. I’m so sorry for leaving you alone.. it’s my fault and i should’ve tried to communicate with you instead of leaving you alone like that.. you’re my one and only and i’ll never do something this foolish ever again.”
Koku isn’t the very best at communication nor is he the talking type but when it comes to you he’ll go out of his way to talk to you all night long until you feel better! <3
The both of you end up cuddling all night.
He plays with your soft hair and keeps an eye on you as you rest.
Even if you fall sleep he still won’t leave. He’s going to hold you in his protective embrace while you sleep me until you wake.
DOUMA <3
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Oh my! his poor sweet lotus crying to themselves after an argument? now, this won’t stand..
Now let’s skip the part where he feels emotions for you.
Anyway-
Douma is not really an argumentative kind of guy..
i mean, sure, he’ll joke around with lord-akaza but that’s all for great fun! :D
And lets not forget the numerous times muzan has chastised him or when he had to listen to his long-rants about how worthless he and his superiors are for not being able to seek out the blue spider lily.
So, when you two break out into an argument.. he doesn’t yell back. he kinda disregards your feelings and accuses you of being silly and just teases you for it.
I mean, you are being over-dramatic, right?
Honestly, he’s not used to it when you yell and break down afterwards..
Douma’s never seen you so upset before! :(
Okay, he may know how to ‘comfort’ people but we all know that’s a façade.
Deadass doesn’t know what to do. it’s different because with you he actually cares (more than you know.)
Is torn between giving you space and just forcing you into his embrace and babying you until you stop crying like how he does with his disciples.
Douma is clingy. he’s always been very clingy and touchy. this rainbow-eyed man is glued to you 24/7. 🥹
As predicted, his clingyness gets the better of him and he follows you like a lost puppy once you runaway in tears.
He didn’t mean for this to happen nor to make you so upset.
You’re crying on your futon and he stands there for a good second witnessing you in distress. he’s still feeling hesitant.
He isn’t used to these emotions bubbling up into his gut right now.. and doesn’t like it one bit! he needs it to vanish as fast as possible.
Douma ignores your protests while he gathers you up into his strong arms and lays you across his lap bridal-style.
Kisses your tears away and gives you love bites since he has a habit of doing that. usually it makes you giggle when he does that but this time you only recoil from his touch.
“Aw, don’t pull away from me!”
**cue the pouting**
Douma will legitimately comfort you this time instead of putting on that act he does with his followers.
Some phrases you’ll hear from douma are:
“Hush now, my darling! it’ll be okay! i- i didn’t mean to upset you, honest! i can’t let you go.. i can’t leave you alone when you’re crying like this..”
“Hey, hey! shh.. it’s okay sweetie! i’m here for you! let’s wipe those tears off your pretty face, hm? oh, you’re beautiful no matter what even if you’re crying but i would much rather you smile for me! can you do that for me, dear?~”
“I love you so much, [name]! I promise i didn’t mean to make you upset.. it won’t happen again! please just try to communicate with me more so we won’t fight like this again!Of course i’ll do the same in return.. these emotions i felt today were something i never want to experience gain!”
Much like kokushibo. Douma isn’t the best communicator either.
Sure, the man may be a yapping machine but it takes him a hot minute to realize his wrong-doings and talk it out with you!
By the way he’ll probably tease you after this night so be prepared.
Probably would initiate sex to make you relax since you’re so damn tense but will understand if you decline. 
AKAZA <3
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Good lord, he’s the MOST emotional and sympathetic out of everyone.
Akaza tends to yell a lot, he suffers from anger issues and can be passive aggressive so it’s quite easy to get him riled up.
This fight in particular was worse than usual.
Like wayyyy worse.
Akaza actually hates, hates, HATES, HATES, fighting with you.
So he’s on the verge of tears himself and angry with himself for being so weak to argue with you back instead of being the bigger and stronger person in this situation.
More importantly, he made you cry, he’s most disappointed in himself for that.
Akaza isn’t too clingy, on very rare occasions he is though.
Akaza has attachmemt issues but doesn’t show it that often (that’s my headcanon for him)
So bro’s attachment issues are literally SPIRALING in this moment.
Calls out for you when you runaway but you don’t turn back and that’s what he knows he’s fucked up.
Will do ANYTHING to make you forgive him and to stop crying.
Wants to respect you but he knows he’ll go apeshit if he leaves you alone so he takes a hot minute before running after you.
He’ll knock on your door. f you don’t answer he’ll just waltz right in like he owns the place.
Starts yapping as soon as the door swings open.
Poor thing, he’s flipping out. 😭
“Baby!! please don’t cry!! shit.. i’m sorry!”
You look at him
Is he.. tearing up?
You feel guilty for overwhelming him but you’re also still mad at him.. you can’t bring yourself to apply him with the reassurance and comfort he craves in that moment even though you want to..
Akaza will get more needy if you ignore him and crawl into bed with you to spoon you from behind. His hands swiftly snake around your waist and you feel your back flush against his bare chest as he buries his face into the crook of your neck.
He’s mumbling “i’m sorry, pretty girl..” under his shuddering breath.
He is NOT letting you go until morning.
Akaza will pepper feather-like kisses upon your neck from behind and squeeze your waist while whispering comforting words into your ear.
He’s really not letting you go until you forgive him. 😞
Phrases you’ll hear from Akaza after an argument:
“Come here, honey.. i’m really sorry. believe me, i didn’t mean anything i said. i was a damn idiot!”
“Sweetheart, i love you so so much it hurts.. you mean the fucking world to me! i would kill for you, i would even die for you.. you bring out this special part of me in which i feel like myself.. only YOU have the power to do that. i would never leave you or let anything bad happen to you, honest!”
He embraces you and will probably end up turning you around so you can face him.
he appreciates it when you look into his eyes when he’s talking to you about something important.
You making eye-contact with him sends him onto cloud nine 😩
Akaza just wants to see your pretty face! 💗💗
Even if you take your time forgiving Akaza he will understand and never love you any less.
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caitified · 14 days ago
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Hi again! I am the one who asked if you wrote for kelsey plum but speaking of my wife I don’t have a specific idea but honestly anything with her and a pregnant reader (if your comfortable with it) anything super fluffy please💓
growing
kelsey plum x reader
warnings: pregnancy, ivf, i’m so sorry for keeping you waiting for so long!! hope this is okay. another kelsey fic coming out at the same time. 🖤
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kelsey hadn’t stopped smiling since the moment you told her you were pregnant. every time she looked at you, there was this glint in her eye, a mix of wonder and pride, like she still couldn’t believe that the two of you were about to become parents. she’d always been focused, intense even, on the court – but lately, her focus had shifted, and all that energy had turned into this fierce, protective love for you and the tiny life growing inside you.
the ivf process had been extremely taxing for both of you, and now that you had reached the other side kelsey was more protective than ever.
tonight, she’d come home from practice a little later than usual, exhausted but excited. you were curled up on the couch, resting a hand on your belly and watching your favourite show on the tv. when you heard the door open, you looked up, smiling as she dropped her gym bag by the door and made a beeline for you.
“hey, mama,” she murmured, bending down to kiss you softly before settling onto the couch beside you. her hand immediately went to your belly, her thumb brushing gentle circles over the fabric of your shirt. “how are my girls?”
you chuckled, placing your hand over hers. “we’re good. she’s been kicking a lot today – i think she misses you.”
kelsey’s face lit up, and she leaned closer, whispering to your belly, “hey, little one. i’m right here.” she pressed a soft kiss to your belly, and you could feel her warmth and excitement as she whispered sweet words to the baby. it was one of those things she did that made you fall in love with her all over again.
after a while, she sat back, her arm around your shoulders as you snuggled into her. “i still can’t believe this is real,” she said, her voice soft. “i mean… we’re having a baby. you’re gonna be a mom.”
“we’re gonna be moms,” you corrected with a smile, reaching up to tuck a stray hair behind her ear. “and you’re gonna be amazing at it.”
kelsey looked at you, her expression serious but full of love. “i’m just so grateful. for you, for her, for all of this.” she paused, her thumb still tracing gentle patterns over your shoulder. “i know the season’s been a lot, and you’ve been dealing with so much on your own. i just want you to know i’m here for you, no matter what.”
“kelsey, you don’t need to worry,” you reassured her, squeezing her hand. “i know you’re busy, but every time you’re here, you make me feel so loved. that’s all i need.”
she leaned in, her lips meeting yours in a slow, lingering kiss that made your heart race despite the familiarity. when she pulled back, she rested her forehead against yours, her hand finding its way back to your belly.
“i can’t wait to see her,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “to see her little fingers, her first smile… she’s already got me wrapped around her finger, and she’s not even here yet.”
you smiled, feeling tears prick your eyes. “she’s lucky to have you.”
do we want more of this? thanks for reading! requests open.
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superhaught · 4 months ago
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Sweetest Girl (Chapter Three)
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Pairing: Regina George x Reader
Warning(s): angstttttttt
Word Count: 2100, Part 3/?
No summary because "so much happened i don't even know what to think" - @sapphicantics
Thank you once again to @sapphicantics for being the best ever <3
Part 1 / Part 2
You saw it coming but it surprised you all the same. Not even two minutes into the fourth episode of Real Housewives that Regina had insisted on starting, she was completely passed out on your shoulder.
Your surprise wasn’t at the fact that she fell asleep, the girls’ exhaustion was obvious. What shook you was that she ended up comfortably tucked against your side, her head leaning on your shoulder, and her gentle breaths tickling your neck. 
You took her Mac off of her lap and gently closed it, setting it aside on the bed while trying to avoid moving too much. 
It was late. If you were someone else, your parents might have expected you home by now. Might even be calling to find out where you were. Might have bothered to get the phone number of the person’s house you were going to in the first place. But you weren’t someone else and you were fairly confident that your presence wasn’t missed, nor would your absence be noticed. 
It was this thought process that pulled a deep sigh out of you which ended up waking Regina. She sat up with a bit of a start and glanced around her room and then back at you, and your shoulder, as she processed where she had positioned herself in her sleep-addled state.
“What… I fell asleep?” She furrowed her brows as she noticed the small trail of drool that had escaped the corner of her mouth. She wiped it away quickly and grumbled, “fucking Christ…” 
“Hey, it’s okay, you were tired. You should go back to sleep.” You started to scoot to the edge of the bed, intending to get up and get going so as to not prolong her embarrassment. 
The blonde, however, did not allow this. She reached out and grasped your wrist, “what are you doing?” 
You stared at her, “I… I’m gonna get out of your hair so you can rest.” 
“No!” Her cheeks flushed the second she realized how she sounded, “no… I mean… I can’t drive right now and I’m not letting you walk home when it’s this late. Just stay.” 
“Stay? You’re sure?” 
“Yeah…” she nodded, “of course, I’m sure. You can, right?” 
“I guess so… is there, like a guest room or a couch you want me on?” 
“What are you talking about? No, just stay here.” 
“What? Won’t that bother you?” 
“No, dummy. Clearly I was able to sleep just fine with you here,” she tried to stop it but Regina couldn’t help but yawn and it made you smile. It was cute. 
“Just,” she fought to speak through the yawn, “grab some clothes you can sleep in out of my closet and then get back in bed…” 
“Regina, are you-“ 
“Shut up. Yes, I’m sure.” She started shoving decorative pillows off of the bed and then slid under the covers and collapsed onto her own pillow. “And hurry up and turn the light off on your way back.” 
You watched her close her eyes and you knew there was no more back and forth to be had. You walked over to Regina’s closet and eventually found a drawer containing a mixture of old summer camp t shirts and knit shorts so you hastily changed into them, turned off the bedroom light, and crawled into Regina’s bed, opposite from her. 
You pulled the covers over yourself and exhaled. Her bed was so comfortable it was insane. It was insane for anyone to have a bed this nice.
And how did her bed smell so good, too? Did the linens get washed every day? You nuzzled your face into the pillow and breathed in. It wasn't a laundry detergent smell, it just smelled like her. 
You closed your eyes and got comfortable. You could hear Regina’s breathing slow down next to you and then you heard her whisper, “‘night.” 
“G’night, Regina.” 
You had the most peaceful sleep of your life. You didn’t know when you last slept in past 8 am at the latest. But at 10 am on this Sunday morning at the George’s, you were still blissfully unaware of the world. 
It wasn’t until you felt motion in the bed that you started to come to. Your eyes cracked open just slightly and were met with an expanse of blonde hair. 
That was weird. 
Your senses clarified quickly then and you realized that your arm was draped over a body, that the body’s back was against your front, that yours and the body’s legs were intertwined. 
You were squarely in the center of your pillow, though. It was the other body that had shifted in the night. Her half of the bed was empty and her bottom arm splayed across her pillow, which she had abandoned in favor of taking the edge of yours. 
The girl took a deep breath and shifted slightly again, rubbing one of her legs against yours. 
You didn’t know what to do. Waking her would mean confronting this situation right now. Pretending not to notice and going back to sleep felt like it would be violating somehow… you ultimately decided the former was better. 
Gently, you gave her upper arm a slight shake and whispered, “Regina… hey, Regina…” 
She grumbled but didn’t wake up. 
You tried again, “Regina… Gina…” 
The blonde sniffled and groaned, “whattime’sit?” 
“Uh… I don’t know,” you answered, “Regina, you’re…” 
She woke up a little more, felt you so close to her, felt that she wasn’t entirely on her side of the bed. She started to sit up. 
“We must’ve-“ 
“Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck!” Regina sat up the rest of the way and pushed your arm off of her, “this was a mistake.” 
You sat up, too, startled by this reaction, “Regina wait, it’s fine-“ 
“No, shut up. My mom can’t see us like this. You need to get up.” 
“Regina, hold on-“ 
“Are you listening?” She hissed, “get up. Now. This was stupid, my fault for having you stay in the bed. We’re going to get dressed and I’m driving you home.” The blonde got out of her bed and beelined for her vanity where she quickly sat down and began harshly brushing through her hair. 
You stood up and took a few steps across the room to go be by her, “Regina, wait, can we talk about this?” 
She looked at you through the mirror and she frowned, “no. We can’t. Get changed.” 
Ten minutes later, Regina was quietly ushering you out the front door of her house and unlocked her Jeep with a click of the key fob. She wordlessly got into her seat and buckled and waited for you to do the same, before backing out of her driveway and starting the route to your house. 
“Regina-“ 
“Whatever you might think last night was… it wasn’t, okay?” 
“What do you mean what I think? I… wait, Regina, I don’t understand. Why are you freaking out? It wasn’t a big deal.” 
“That’s easy for you to say, everyone already thinks you’re a lesbian.” 
“What?”
Regina stepped on her brake as a yellow light turned red and then she turned to face you. 
“That can’t happen again. You can tutor me. You can come to my house like I promised. But that cannot happen again.” 
“But WHAT happened?!” You didn’t mean to shout at her, but you were panicking. 
Regina stared at you. A car behind you honked because the light had turned green. She clenched her jaw and focused on the road again. 
“Pull over.” 
“No.”
“Pull over, Regina.” 
She didn’t respond but she turned her blinker on and pulled to the side of the road and parked on the shoulder. 
“I’m not going home until you tell me what the fuck is going on right the fuck now.” 
She looked at you silently. Her face and eyes were red, like she was on the brink of tears.
Your expression softened, “Regina, please.” 
“You don’t get it, do you?” 
“Obviously not.” 
The blonde sighed and dropped her face into her hands, “for someone who is so smart, you are so stupid…” 
“Then make it make sense. Please.” 
She took a deep breath and then sat back up, rubbing her eyes as she did so, “you’re so sweet… of course you don’t get it.” She faced you then and she looked more upset than you’d seen her, “it was on purpose… I… I wanted to cuddle with you.” 
“You… okay… so?” 
“That’s a bad thing!” 
“Why? Because I’m a nerd?” 
“No! Because you’re not a guy! I can’t like you… like that…” 
You just stared at her. 
“Say something!” 
“I don’t know what to say!” 
“I can’t get that close to you… not again… I can’t… my family can’t know… the school can’t know that… that…” 
“That you might like girls?” 
“That I do like girls. That I only like girls. I’m not out and I can’t come out and so I sure as hell can’t let what happened happen again because… because I…” 
You waited for her to continue. 
“Because I… will want it to keep happening… and then I won’t be able to stop it…” 
“Wait, so… so I don’t get a say? I just… I just have to do whatever the fuck you tell me to… you get to tell me this and then it’s just over? There’s no trying? What if I liked cuddling with you? What if I felt the same way?” 
“Stop. You can’t say stuff like that… you…” Regina started to shake, gasping for air in rapid and shallow breaths as her eyes started to water, “you can’t… I c-can’t… I can’t be… with you… you can’t like me… I can’t-t I can’t…” she was hyperventilating. You reached out and tried to hold her shoulders but she shook you off, smacking your hands away. 
“Regina, breathe… breathe…” you reached for her again only to be met with the same resistance, “no, no. Let me.” You leaned across the center console and wrapped your arms around her in a tight hug. 
Regina gripped your forearm in her hands and squeezed hard. Her manicure pressed crescent moons into your skin and her knuckles were white with the force of her grasp, but you only squeezed her tighter and whispered into her ear, “breathe… just breathe… you’re okay… breathe… come on, now… breathe in… and breathe out… in… out…” 
It took a minute but eventually she followed your instructions and her body started to relax. Her breathing slowed. She coughed and took a deep, but shaky, breath. 
You pressed your forehead against her temple and kept your arms around her while she still held tight to you. 
“I can’t do this…” 
“You can’t do what?”
Regina just shook her head in refusal to answer. 
“Regina… what would make you happy?” 
“That doesn’t matter…” 
“Yes it does. That’s the only thing that matters.”
“No… no…” 
“Regina… look at me.” 
She shook her head in defiance.
“Please?” 
She didn’t respond. 
You reached out and gently tucked your index finger beneath her chin, turning her head to face you, “what would make you happy, Regina?” 
She met your eyes, nothing short of terror written in her expression. She thought for a long moment and then whispered, “I’ve never… felt as free… as I felt last night… with you…” 
You nodded, your own expression saddened by the seriousness of her statement. 
She took another shuddering breath in, “but it’s always going to come crashing down…”
“No… no, come on… it doesn’t have to… can we try… can we please try to figure this out? Together?” 
Regina bit her bottom lip and shook her head, fighting back tears, “n-no… I’m sorry… I can’t. I can’t do this.” 
“Regina-“ 
She pushed your arms away again and then cleared her throat as she pulled her visor down and dabbed her eyes and fixed her hair. 
You stared at her in shock. 
She turned the car back on and pulled back out onto the road. 
“Regina… Regina, please.” 
She shook her head, “I’m taking you home. I’m sorry.” 
“This is fine.” 
“But this isn’t anywhere.” 
“It’s close enough.” 
The blonde glanced over at you, about to ask further questions, but then she just nodded and pulled over. 
You unbuckled and grabbed your backpack off the floor of the car and tried to open the door but she hadn’t unlocked it for you yet. 
“I really am sorry.” 
“Forget it, okay?” 
The blonde frowned. 
“Are you gonna let me out or not?” 
Regina clicked the button to unlock the doors and you got out of the car. Before walking away, you looked at her again, “wait, your chemistry quiz…” 
Regina sighed, “I’ll be fine. I… I just wanted you to come over.”
Next Chapter
240 notes · View notes
nadvs · 5 months ago
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For sleeping with the enemy, can we get Rafe and reader first time saying “I love you.” How would that go for them? Who would say it first?
ofc!! she says it first and it comes out during a fight 👀
based on this fic, mentioned in this blurb
he’s been living a three-hour flight away for one month of their seven-month relationship. she’s still in college while he’s playing in the nba and she’s visiting him for the first time since he moved.
after they got to his condo from the airport, they slept together and now they’re eating dinner in his kitchen. there’s still tension between them, because of how much they’ve been arguing on the phone since he left. because of how they had a silent spell for days and she said they needed it. because they weren’t even in a good place to begin with when he moved away.
rafe asked if that was goodbye sex they just had and she won’t even entertain the thought. she worries he’ll never get over his fear of abandonment, so she reassures him that she doesn’t want to leave him.
he brings up things she said in their last argument, spiteful things she regrets, and she says, “i didn’t mean that. we both say things to hurt each other and we need to stop.”
and he says, “the shit i say isn’t even close to the shit you say.”
she leans back in her chair, her mouth firm. he always does this, tries to convince her that what she did was worse.
“i can’t fight with you again,” she says. “i swear, it’s like you push me away on purpose.”
“me? you’re the one who said we needed a break.”
“we did. but only because all we were doing was arguing.”
rafe stands up, sighing heavily, the heels of his hands covering his eyes. he always does this when they argue, making distance between them. sometimes she’s worried he’ll storm out.
“for fuck’s sake,” he mutters, so damn defeated that they’re fighting again.
she exhales quietly, feeling her throat tightening with tears. this has been so exhausting. she watches him pace around his kitchen. his new high-rise is such a big, shiny reminder of his new life. she worries she doesn’t have a place in it sometimes.
“i just meant i’d rather we take some time off than fight,” she says.
“well, i’d rather fight.”
“and just keep hurting each other?”
“it hurts more not talking to you,” rafe admits.
a few seconds of silence pass between them.
“i don’t want to break up,” she says softly.
“you think i do?” he snaps.
“no. but i think you force me to talk sometimes and then when i do talk, you hold grudges over the things i say.”
“hard not to,” he mutters.
she looks down at the table, eyelids fluttering shut.
“i don’t…” she begins. “my mind is blank at this point. i don’t get why we can’t just be how we were before.”
“because you talk like that,” he says. “like there’s no way we’ll work things out.”
“i don’t,” she counters. “all i’m saying is i miss when we were happy.”
his heart drops. he leans against the counter, eyes boring into her.
“you’re not happy?” he says quietly.
“in general, with you, i am,” she tells him. “but right now? are you? honestly?”
he crosses his arms, jaw tightening as he gazes at her. she looks so broken, sitting at his kitchen table, her lip trembling.
“no,” he admits. how could he be happy when there’s a hole where his heart should be?
she nods in a way that confirms that she knew it.
“it hurts not talking to you, too,” she finally says. “just so you know.”
she watches rafe from across the kitchen, gazing at his profile as he looks down. he doesn’t seem to believe her.
so, even though she’s absolutely terrified that he won’t say it back, that he’s already giving up on them because he seems so convinced that she has, she stands and slowly approaches him, resting her hands on his shoulders, rubbing the back of his neck.
“i love you, you know that?” she says. his eyes soften, the tension on his shoulders unraveling.
“what?” his voice is almost at a whisper.
“you want me to say it again?” she says with a small smile.
“yeah. say it again.”
“i love you.”
“i love you,” he tells her, his words rushed. “i love you so much. i loved you before you were even my girlfriend.”
her stomach numbs.
“you did?” she says.
he closes his lips over hers, his face almost twisting in pain over how badly he needed to hear that. he kisses her over and over, spiralling into breathlessness.
“why didn’t you tell me?” she whispers, their foreheads touching.
“because if you didn’t say it back, i think i’d die,” rafe admits. he’s never told a girl he loved her. he never got even close to love with anyone else.
but even when they were just friends, he’d take every opportunity to stare at her, to sink into the sound of her laughter. he loved her before he knew he could love somebody.
“do you think we could start my visit right now?” she says. “everything before now doesn’t count. we have a blank slate. can we do that?”
rafe nods.
“we can do that.”
“do you want to take a walk around the city?” she asks. “your condo’s nice, but i’d like to actually explore.”
he smirks. and he thinks about how nice it’d be for her to call it their condo one day.
“yeah,” he agrees.
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sabbathbloodysabbeth · 5 months ago
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AHHHH I’ve been rereading some of my past posts (they were created for me and god am I happy I created them) but they have also put this thought into my head.
What if Omega Steve is the only one able to carry Eddie out because he has been doing everything in his power to not be seen as “just another weak omega” on his free time. Working out, purposely preparing for this moment. He needs to be useful. He needs to be needed. And these needs all stem back from his lack of physical and emotional intimacy. He does have some with Robin, and Robin only but Robin is a beta and doesn’t know how to handle an omega so Steve just doesn’t act like one of those Omegas even though it’s in his nature.
Now he can’t deny all of his nature, he does tend to act “motherly” and protective of those he loves and does other smaller things that aren’t that noticeable. In summary, Steve has and most likely will always be in control. (Which is fine but it’s a rare trait in omegas)
But what if in this universe you don’t find out your second gender until you were closer to eighteen. The youngest being sixteen but that was more rare than anything. Which means in season one neither Nancy, Steve or Jonathan are presenting. Along with this, it’s a well known fact that chaotic situations before presenting is a bad thing as it can affect how your omega/beta/alpha is for the rest of your life. (Basically if they are going to be feral, protective, closed of, or any other traits but to a higher extreme that can lead to complications)
So the younger kids are safe as they are no where near presenting but Steve, Jonathan and Nancy are all in the danger zone. All of them are being actively watched at all times by doctors that were assigned to them. (They each get their own) and when the time comes they all start presenting.
First Nancy, she presents as an Alpha (which was effected by the stressful situation, the doctors did the probability check and testing and she was supposed to be a beta) but other than that she is completely fine and an average alpha considering the circumstances.
Then there is Jonathan. It doesn’t take him long but he presents as a beta. And he’s also completely fine considering the circumstances. Besides having a bad anxiety disorder he’s good.
And finally Steve. Steve who is extremely late with presenting. He doesn’t present until after the events of season three. The doctors think it may have had to do with the unknown drugs that were forced into his system.
Steve’s omega is definetly fucked up, and similarly to that of Nancy Steve was supposed to be an alpha. But in the chaos and trauma his secondary gender switched completely but still holds some “alpha traits”. And he is now always on watch just in case. Along with this he can’t have any heats, which means he’s essentially unable to have children.
Time skip back to him struggling in the upside down. Robin can’t carry Eddie, she’s so tiny and can barely hold herself up. Nancy possibly could but she looked just as exhausted, her own Alpha overwhelmed with how much charge she had to take. And poor Dustin is sobbing, Steve doesn’t think he has much choice. And before any of them can stop him he lifts Eddie (who is an alpha) up and carry’s him out. All of them are shocked, and slightly alarmed as something triggers and Steve’s omega has finally done what the doctors said it would. It goes feral.
It takes a couple of doctors but he’s safely detained while he heals and his omega pretty much takes over completely. The doctors describe it as a form of coma, where the main person (Steve) has been forced to go to “sleep” for a while by his omega as a form of protecting him from anymore trauma. And with the amount of trauma he’s gone through they predict he won’t ever wake up.
But thanks to Steve, Eddie is still alive. Sacrificing himself in the process. Both him and Eddie are in comas and after a year when Eddie wakes up time starts to move again.
Eddie gets taken care of and the doctors come to him after a month of being awake (without telling anyone else) to see if he could test something for them. And by test they mean they want them to go into the same room as Steve’s omega and see if that helps trigger him back awake.
The first session (this goes on for numerous sessions) they see a flicker of Steve return to himself but bla bla bla summary of what I’m trying to come back to is that Eddie and Steve have numerous sessions together where Eddie’s alpha helps Steve’s omega out.
Teaches him how to nest, gives him more physical intimacy that an omega needs (except a heat of course) and starts to bond with Steve who is slowly coming back to each day Eddie comes. It gets to the point where Eddie has to move from his room to Steve’s to stay with him full time while they both heal because his Alpha has bonded with Steve’s omega.
I feel as if I’ve rambled enough but this was an idea I had!
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januaryembrs · 7 months ago
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I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE | Marc Spector x reader
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Request: @happyhauntt says - okay i am BEGGING for a fic based on the song 'forest fire' by brighton (be warned that shit HURTS) but i fully cannot decide between poe dameron, steven/marc or spencer reid so i am giving you full creative direction and i look forward to getting my heart ripped out!!
Description: Marc had always carried her with him, since they were small kids playing pirates in the yard, before things got messed up by grown up feelings and burdens. It's not until he sees her twenty years later, he realises he should have saved her.
length: 3.9k
Warnings: Heavy warnings for childhood / domestic abuse/neglect (both from Marc and also reader has a neglectful father) warnings for alcohol, the cave scene, drowning, death etc. you asked for angst, so I served!
authors note: sorry this took so damn long, today isn't even my day off and I have been too exhausted to even look at my computer, but I hope you like it!
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Before Randall was too little to be part of his adventures, Marc used to play on his own in the yard. 
Usually that entailed kicking a football at the wooden fence that lined their garden, trying to knock it off his chest when it would come bouncing back the way he’d seen the professionals do it, even if it had led to three milk teeth coming loose already. 
But there weren’t kids on his street to play with, at least that’s what he thought until the one day he kicked his ball a little too high and watched it fly right over the top of the fence, bouncing into the neighbour's yard, a soft “ouch” meeting his ears. 
In minutes, a little head appeared over the wall, beady eyes frowning down at him, and he realised it was a girl around his age, maybe a little younger. 
“Did you lose this?” She held up his soccer ball he was worried he was going to have to kiss goodbye to forever, the small digits of her other hand holding onto the fence tightly. 
“Yeah! Sorry, I didn’t mean to kick it so high,” Marc said, and with no more explanation than that, she threw it over to his side of the partition, and her tiny head disappeared back below the fence line. 
He felt stunned. He knew there were moving boxes over that way a couple weeks ago, but as far as he could see there was only a man living there on his own, a scowl on his face most days. Marc had seen him shouting at the other kids on his block to stop riding their bikes in front of his house because it ‘upset the dog’, though Marc had yet to see for himself this canine friend he was speaking about. 
But there was a girl living there! A real life girl who spoke to him; granted he had lobbed a heavy soccer ball at her, from what her distaste told him, and he wondered if perhaps, despite the grumpy look on her face he realised mirrored the man he’d seen living there, that she might like to even make friends with her neighbour. 
“Wait!” He yelled, running up to the fence where she had slipped away from him, grabbing on to the top and pulling himself up to the point he was on his very tippy toes and he could only just about see her yard. 
The grass was unkempt, which was odd because Marc’s own dad cut the grass every fortnight, and there were planks of wood with nails sticking out of them strewn across the side of the shed she had used to pull herself up with. He fought the urge to cringe in disgust, because there, looking up at him from where she was making a daisy chain in the long, dry grass, alone in a pink plaid shorts and a white, dirt stained top, was the girl. 
“Do you want to play?” Marc asked, his foot nearly slipping under him where he was trying to rest it on the wood to take a closer look, “I have tennis, or swing ball we could play?” 
She looked interested at the mop of curly, black hair for a moment, before she looked back at the house that he had still yet to see any sign of a dog. 
“I’m not sure my dad would like it…” She said cautiously, almost whispering to him, picking the soil under her nails. 
“My mom could come around and get you, she could talk to him,” He offered, because this was when his mother was still mom and not Wendy. 
Before she had yet to flip his world entirely upside down with her cruel hands and vicious tongue. Before Steven. 
She seemed unsure, biting her bottom lip and stroking her arms like she was giving herself a cuddle. But she nodded, looking up at him, and he tried to hide just how excited he was to finally have someone to play with. 
“I’m Marc,” He said, grinning at her, his tongue poking between the space where his adult teeth were only just growing back in. 
She told him her name back, and it was the first time he understood what a crush was. 
“Marc, I’m not sure we should be doing this,” She said, grabbing his hand so tight he thought his heart might explode. 
“It’s okay, we come here all the time, don’t we, RoRo?” He reassured, looking back to where Randall, now a few years older and big enough to play with them, held onto the side of the cave, his own face nervous. 
“All the time!” The little boy echoed, because Marc knew he had a bit of a thing for her as well, because she was older and cool and smelled like a field of flowers and he hated seeming like he was scared, even though he was. 
He was just a kid. 
They were just kids. 
And being kids, they stumbled into danger without realising it, not even when the rain started coming down outside torrentially and they had to pause their game of pirates to run for cover. They hadn’t expected, in their childish excitement to continue the adventure, that the water would start pooling into the cave; that it would fill up like a basin, whether they were in there or not, and it wasn’t until the screaming started that they realised they were in the kind of danger that required an adult. 
Marc was the first one to get out, his hair soaked, his heart racing, and he used a grown up word he heard his dad use sometimes because he could have sworn they were both right behind him. 
And if that had been true, then where were they? 
He called her name, debated going back in there himself to see where they had gone, then he yelled for RoRo, because she didn’t seem to be answering. 
And there was only silence, except a clap of thunder overhead that said the rain was going to get worse; was not going to stop for hours. 
Which was when he ran to get his dad. 
By the time Elias got there, his glasses wet and steamed, his thick thatch of curls too similar to Marc’s soaked through, all he could see was a head of hair peeking out of the mouth of the cave, and his heart sank. 
He dragged her out of the dark water, arms under her shoulders as he rolled her on her front and started patting her back, trying to get her to spit some of the water out, because her face was ice and her skin was soaked and her playsuit was ripped from where she’d snagged it on the rocks. 
Marc remembered crying into his hands, gaze flicking back to the cave to see if RoRo was right behind her, if he was just waiting to be pulled out as she had been. 
But there was nothing. Nothing but rain water and moss and those damn rocks he’d been gripping onto not an hour earlier. 
His heart leapt when she spluttered finally, after his dad had thrown her over his knee and taken to giving her a one handed heimlich right between her shoulder blades. She spat the water out, her body shivering immediately, eyes bleary as they looked around as if she expected to still be in that dark hole in the wall, and Elias set her down on the grass to go look for his youngest son. 
“Stay with her, Marc,” He barked, uncharacteristically sharp for him though Marc guessed it was fear, and took off towards the cave again. Marc pulled her into his arms, and it was only then they started wailing together. 
They sat there for an hour when the rescue team finally arrived, a medical team with warm hands and even warmer blankets ushering them to the safety of the back of an ambulance, and the last thing Marc remembered for that horrible day was sitting on the stretcher with her pressed against his side, trembling under the reflective wrap they’d been tucked in that made them look like baked potatoes, wishing he had never suggested they go in that damn cave. 
“You’re leaving?” She said, her lip quivering, her eyes lined with tears. They sat on his bed, his duffel bag already packed, his acceptance letter burning daggers into his head from his nightstand, “Military? Marc, just think about this for a minute-”
“I have thought about it. I’m not some dumb kid making rash decisions, I want this,” Except he didn’t, not really. What he meant to say was he wanted to leave, to run away and never come back, but the idea of never seeing her again was too difficult to think about. 
She thought about it for a moment, and he held her hand when he saw her face really start to crumble then. “If you go, I’ll have no one left. You’re all I have,”
He didn’t hide the fact he saw how nervous she was when Marc would pick her up from her house and her father would see her out the door, a nasty, inebriated glare in his eyes at the Specter boy. He saw all the times she would tiptoe around the floorboards, the way he knew too well, as if she was scared of what would happen if she took up too much space, made too much noise. Or when his mother had been kind, way back before any of this had happened, and had fussed over her pretty hair, had piled food on her plate because Wendy said she needed the goodness, she had locked up entirely and looked at his mother as if she was an alien. 
Even now, when they were both seventeen, nearly adults in the grand scheme of things, he knew her father was cruel. 
“I’m sorry,” He said honestly, and he felt his own throat clogging up with real emotion he only ever let himself show when he was with her, “When I get a place of my own, I’ll come back here, and we can pack your bags together, and we can live far away from all of this,” 
And it sounded like he was spinning her a fantasy; which he was. She felt like an idiot for believing him, for flashing him a small smile and leaning her forehead to his which was the closest they ever got to admitting how they really felt about each other. 
He wanted to kiss her then, before he left to start his new life, one where they could be happy together, and he made a promise to himself that when he came back for her that would be the first thing he would do. 
He could see it now; he would be in some kind of flashy car with the top rolled down, a man grown from the regime and fitness they would teach him in the army and she would come running to him like an angel parting the clouds, like a dream that was finally within reach, and he would kiss her then, so hard it would make up for the time they had lost, the time they had grieved together, it might even make up for that day she nearly died because of him. 
So he left her, that fantasy of coming back to her keeping him going in the months of training, during roll call and exams and the small, clinical portions they would serve him in the military. 
But that day never came. Somewhere between losing himself to the alter that had formed and led a full life separately to his, between hiding Steven from the ugly truth and becoming a mercenary after dropping from the army, he tucked the dream away as a what if, and he didn’t return back to that house where his mother had caused so much hell. 
Not until the second day of her shiva, that was. 
-
“Marc?” He forgot how sweet his name sounded from her lips, and he hated to admit it in the middle of his drunken state, but he’d wished he’d never heard it again in his entire life. 
Because the second his front door opened, and a woman in a long black dress, heels and lace gloves stared back at him with a face that looked similar to a girl he once knew, only a notch between her brows that said she had done nothing but frown for twenty years, he wished he had never seen her again. 
She was beautiful, more beautiful than he ever gave her credit for, yet she looked tired. Sunken. Like she had wept and screamed alongside all the frowning. 
“Marc,” She said it more determined this time, pacing down the stairs to his home, her footsteps rushed and worried, “Are you okay?,” 
He knew he must look like a mess. He hadn’t stopped crying for three days since he got the first phone call from his father in almost two decades, since he’d learned his mother had passed, and he was already a bottle of whiskey deep by the time he’d stepped out the cab onto the street he grew up on. 
He didn’t know why he hadn’t thought she would be there. He guessed she would be far away from this place, just like he had been, in a mansion with a 401k and a dog and a neurosurgeon for a husband. She had always deserved it. 
But here she was, grabbing the bottle out of his hand gently, rubbing a hand over his shoulder like not a day had gone by that they hadn’t seen one another, and it didn’t take him much convincing at all to pull her into a hug he had needed since the day he left. 
“My mum’s dead,” Marc said, sounding like a little boy again when he wept into her neck, squeezing her body to his, and he felt her rubbing his back soothingly. 
“I know, Marc, I’m so sorry,” She hummed, and she smelled like a fancy floral perfume he couldn’t afford to give her before, “I know you must be feeling complicated,”
He nodded, because he couldn’t have put it better himself. He felt complicated. 
“I missed you,” She said, like it was a confession, and he cried harder, his face burying into the crook of her shoulder. 
“I missed you too,” 
“How’s Steven? Is he still around?” She asked, pulling him away to root through her pocket for the pack of tissues she’d kept handy for the day. He took a deep breath, rubbing his sleeved arm over his face to dry it even the slightest. He could feel his cheeks sopping wet from where he had sobbed in the back of the cab like a madman all the way here. 
But she was still fussing over him, and she looked just as pretty as he had remembered her, sitting on his bed that day, if not only a little more tired under her eyes.
Ofcourse she had known about Steven. How else was he supposed to explain the times they would be playing boyfriend-girlfriend together and he would become a different person. 
Sometimes Steven would remember her too, because it didn’t matter to her who he was, she was his best friend either way. He remembered a girl who smelled like summer, sitting on the swings and eating ice lollies together, taking it in turns to push each other, blue tongued and happy. 
“Yeah, sometimes,” He replied quietly, as she handed him the tissues, “He misses you, too,” 
She smiled at him with her lips pressed tightly.
“I take it you’re not coming in?” She said in a careful tone, and he shook his head quickly. 
“No- I just can’t,” He said, tears welling up in his eyes in seconds, and she wrapped him in another hug immediately, soothing his hurt as fast as it had bubbled back up.
“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, you don’t have to,” She hummed, stroking down his back gently, and he hugged her tightly as if she was the only thing keeping him together. 
He opened his mouth to speak when his front door opened again, and he worried for a second that it was Elias. 
Instead, he saw a girl no older than five emerge in a cute, poofy dress that met her knees, her hair tucked into a neat braid, lace gloves matching her own as she lingered at the doorway. 
And perhaps the thing that struck him the quickest; she was the damn near double of the girl he’d hit in the head with his soccer ball in that very yard. 
“Mommy,” The girl said in a gentle coo, her eyes empathetic as she met his gaze, more empathetic than he knew children could feel. But, he supposed, if she was her daughter then it didn’t surprise him in the slightest. 
His best friend turned, her face smoothing out into something peaceful when she saw her little girl, and he knew then she was born to be a mother. Nothing like his own, nothing like Wendy, and he cursed himself for not seeing it sooner. 
She was a mother. 
“Yes, baby?” She said, half stepping towards her child as the girl stumbled down the first step towards them, and she was quick to swoop her into her grasp and onto her hip. 
“I need to use the bathroom,” The girl said shyly, peeking a glance at him over her mum’s shoulder, and she waved at him with tiny fingers. 
He waved back, even if the sight of her had dumped a bucket of cold water all over his body. 
“Alright, baby. Just wait in the foyer, I’ll come take you in just a second, I’m just speaking to my friend right now,” She said, stroking over the back of the girl’s hair softly, and kissing her chubby cheek. “Is that okay?”
She nodded, and her mum kissed her once more, plopping her back on the top step to direct her back into the house. And they were alone again. 
She looked at him guiltily, stepping back towards him as she fiddled with her sleeves nervously, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t get childcare and I don’t really know anyone in state anymore-”
“No, it-it’s fine,” He stammered, feeling her watching him for his reaction carefully, “What’s her name?” 
“Dalilah,” She replied, rubbing hands up her arms to calm herself. 
“Where’s her dad?” Marc asked, hoping he didn’t sound bitter, but the whiskey made it sound like a bite. 
She shrugged, “He wanted the cars and the house when we split; I wanted her,” She said calmly, like it wasn’t one bomb after another to be dropped on him. 
He knew nothing about her life. He had tried to run away from that promise he’d made her for twenty years, because he knew he would never be good enough for her; that he could never give her the happiness she deserved, even before he had become the Moon Knight. 
At his core, he would rot her, ruin her. He would destroy her.
And yet hearing it was just the two of them alone, he felt like he could take out the piece of shit who ran out on them barehanded and go home to sleep next to her soundly.  
He felt like perhaps, as much grief and anguish as returning back to that house had caused him, perhaps this was his second chance. His chance to be what she needed, to be something good.
He would be so good to them. He would give them everything if she asked. 
“I’m not really in town much, especially with my dad still around,” She said, gesturing to where her yard still stood, full of junk and a dog that had supposedly been kicking strong for two decades, “But I would love to see you again. Lila has school most days so you’re free to come over any day of the week if you want it to be just us; I work at home,” She scribbled an address about two hours away down on a piece of paper, along with her phone number, handing it to his distraught face with a sad smile, somewhat hopeful he would take the olive branch she was shaking his way. 
He took it with a nod, his bottom lip still trembling before he bit it hard enough to force it to stop. He would love to see her, if he would even allow himself something good. If he would just let go of the resentment for everything that reminded him of that time, he could see the two of them healing one another slowly, but surely. 
She could fix him. And he could fix her. The way it had always been with them. 
“Yeah, I’d love that,” Marc said softly, allowing her to grab him tightly one more time, “I really did miss you,” 
She laughed, not properly more like a sad breath out, squeezing him to her, “I loved you so much. I never let you go, you know that?” 
He tried not to sob, almost holding her so maddeningly hard she couldn’t ever leave. 
But he had to let go eventually, and he watched her walk back up the stairs to where his family mourned, her face glinting with something hopeful, holding a flashlight out to him where he was walking around in the dark blindly.
He tried to smile back, though he knew it wouldn’t be the same, wouldn't be truly untouched by the grief he wallowed in. 
And by the time he got back to his hotel room, alone, even more drunk, Khonshu had another job for him that would whisk him away for two weeks. But he kept her number, the piece of paper gripped in his hand tight, like he was determined to keep his promise this time around.
He dialled her number exactly fifteen days later, his body aching, his nose bloodied, but something lighter in his chest at the prospect of seeing her again. The light in his dark, the girl on the swings he’d once pretended to marry during their game of house (the rings had been tiny daisy chains she’d woven together just that morning, their officiant was Randall who could barely ride a bike let alone remember the vows he was supposed to say.) 
Only when the phone got put through, a different woman answered, and the light flickered back out into something cold and dark and vengeful. 
“Oh, oh god, you haven’t heard?” He swallowed thickly, “She was hit by a drunk driver last week picking Lila up from school,” The woman, her cousin, explained, her voice teary and solemn, and he didn’t doubt she’d had to make a thousand of these calls the past few days, “They said it was quick, and Lila went fast so she wasn’t in any pain- and she was only in the ambulance for ten minutes before her heart stopped so she wasn’t hurting long either-” 
But he put the phone down, his eyes wide, his body numb, his chest empty and lonely. 
Because the very last bit of good in him was gone; because everything he touched was cursed and tainted from the offset. 
It took what felt like twenty cups of whiskey for him to black out that night, he knew sleep would evade him, he knew not to even bother trying. And Jake Lockely woke up for him, something mean and hateful in the black of his eyes. 
He didn’t care who, but someone was going to pay for his cielo being taken from them. 
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solaria-creates · 3 months ago
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Hi, I'm Nevin from Gaza. Please help me and my family escape to safety. Your donation will save my life, my child's life and my parents' life. If everyone donated even 30 euros, of basic necessities, it would help save our lives. Thank you in advance.🍉 https://gofund.me/b44d7cbc
Please go support Nevin Al-Sir and their family's campaign in any way possible!! Whether that be reblogging this post, donating whatever you feasibly can, contacting your local politicians about ceasefire, or spreading the word in your circles, we can all do our part to help these people experiencing something I can barely fathom. Below is the description pulled directly from the linked gofundme, please read and reblog!
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I am Nevin Al-Sir living in Gaza trying to help myself, my family and my child escape the war zone.
Let me tell you my story… I was pregnant before the war on Gaza and when the war came, an evacuation order came to our house, so I moved to my family’s house and I felt very tired and exhausted as there were no cars to transport us from one place to another. When my husband and I moved to my family’s house, an evacuation order came to my family’s area, so we moved again to a tent and it was very difficult as the weight of the pregnancy increased and the tent was small where I, my mother, father, brothers, sisters and their children were.
We took with us nothing but the memories of our home in the hope of returning and resuming our lives. We moved to places that were supposed to be safe, but they became dangerous and we were forced to move from one place to another in search of safety for my family. We have been displaced five times and have not found a safe place yet.
Can you imagine that my elderly parents who have many diseases, children and pregnant women are forced to leave their homes and sleep in the street? After withdrawing from our neighborhood, we rushed back eager to check on our house, but we found it had turned into a pile of rubble. We did not know whether to grieve for our house or for our current situation.
We returned to the tent disappointed. We returned to the street. I completed the rest of my pregnancy in the tent, which was not suitable for living in. My due date came and there were no means of assistance in the hospital. The birth was very difficult. My child was born in the war and grew up in poor conditions, as there was no shelter or clean environment. Because of my malnutrition, my milk supply stopped and I could no longer buy milk because it was expensive. I hope to help us save my life, the life of my child and my family.
To get out of Gaza and live freely and with dignity, far from war and destruction. We deserve to live with dignity and feel safe.
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bitterbutblue · 2 months ago
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COUGH COUGH NEEDING IDEAS??
AM I SUMMONED???
anonymous letters from Robin. she never goes out of anonymous since she doesn’t do this often and doesn’t know how you would think.
then the next day she approaches you, asking about what secret letter you have in hand like she didn’t sneak those into your bag herself :3
Bonus if you tell her anonymous letters aren’t really your thing then just never read it LMFAO
Anyways just need to go back to doing work 🤧
~ 🍷
~ omg we're going back to the LOSER ROBIN AGENDA guys .. in my head the most loser coded IN SECRET is robin (mostly because i love her and im very much attracted to loser coded women even though i am one myself)
making this a high school/college au :] ~
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ────
⤷ she thinks she's being soooo slick
⤷ robin is your typical popular girl- gorgeous looks and incredible smile and the kindest soul you've ever met. every guy thinks they have a chance with her, and she just laughs at them because we all know what she is
⤷ one day, she sits down next to you in the lecture hall for some fucking reason and you're just like. Okay? Um. Wow.
⤷ You did not focus that entire lecture btw u were focusing on trying to act normal and okay and totally not freaking out that your long term crush was sitting next to you in all her glory
⤷ that evening back at your dorm, you found an odd letter in your bag. no sender name, nothing. just a blank envelope.
⤷ lowkey creeped out so you threw it out
⤷the next day however...
You really didn't expect her to sit next to you again- you spent all of last night rationalising to yourself WHY she would choose to sit next to you of all people. The lecture hall had been quite full at that point, maybe that's why she sat next to you? Maybe her friends just didn't want to go to the 9am lecture, that also made sense. Yeah. That's probably why.
Throwing your bag down on the ground as you collapse into the uncomfortable lecture hall chairs, you sigh in exhaustion. These 9am lectures were really starting to get to you and you're struggling to keep your eyes open as you take a drink of your coffee.
"Hey."
You look up tiredly, only to widen your eyes in shock when you see Robin, once again, standing next to you.
"Can I sit here?"
She sounds awfully nervous, barely looking at you and you just nod in confusion and she smiles at you and you want to squeal. She sits down, body tense as she awkwardly pulls out her iPad and whatever else she needs for the lecture. You wonder why she's acting so off.
"Everything okay?"
Robin freezes, a light pink dusting her cheek as she nods awkwardly.
"Splendid. I mean- I meant great, who says splendid anymore... Jesus..."
You just eye her oddly as she turns redder, mumbling awkwardly to herself.
The entire lecture was the most awkward experience of your life. Robin would not stop side eyeing you and a part of you began to panic- did she find out about your crush on her? Is that why she's acting so weird around you? But why the fuck is she still sitting next to you then? Oh god, you need to avoid her forever from now on. The second the lecture ended, you ran out of that damned hall before Robin even had a chance to open her mouth, your bag already packed 5 minutes before the professor even ended. You missed the way she stares dejectedly at you, a crushed look in her eyes.
She thought you read her letter and hated her.
You thought she found out you were in love with her.
Robin refused for you to end things like that though. In the middle of the goddamn fucking night, as you were studying, a knock on your door.
"What the fuck..." You mumble tiredly, throwing down your pen and walking over to the door to check through the peephole whoever the fuck it would be bothering you at night "March, if it's you I-"
The rest of the sentence dies in your throat, throwing open the door frantically.
"Robin!?"
There she stood, eyes red from tears, sniffling as she hugs her jacket close to her body.
"What the fuck- it's almost 12am! What are you doing?"
"If you don't feel the same way, why don't you just tell me!"
"What??"
You take her hand, pulling you into her room and you miss the way her cheeks flush at the contact and her wings flutter slightly as you slam the door shut.
"What are you talking about?"
"If you don't like me that way, you should just tell me instead of hiding like a coward!" She sniffles
What.
You stare at her, eyes wide and mouth agape and in other circumstances, Robin would've probably laughed.
"What?"
"Don't act dense!"
"What are you talking about??"
Robin groans in frustration, angrily wiping her tears away.
"The letter!"
"Huh?"
"The- what? Did you not read it?" Robin's angry gaze falters when she takes in the full extent of your confusion, and you tilt your head to the side like a lost puppy.
"Wh- that was you??"
"You didn't READ IT?"
"Why would I read a letter addressed to no one."
You two just kind of stare at each other, uncomfortable silence filling the room as Robin begins to flush from embarrassment.
"Wait, so why were you acting weird when the lecture ended?"
Now it was your turn to flush from embarrassment.
"Don't change the subject! What was so important about that letter?"
"You're literally changing the subject as we speak- why were you acting so fucking weird?"
You cleared your throat, crossing your arms in frustration as you awkwardly stared to the side.
Fuck it.
"I thought you found out I had a crush on you and that's why you were acting so weird and awkward around me this morning I'm really sorry we never have to talk about this ever again." You say in one breath as you stare down at your shoes, mumbling quietly.
Silence. She's probably going to storm off any minute now, she'll tell everyone you're a weird lesbian freak, and-
You gasp when you feel a tug down on your collar, and before you know it she has her lips on yours and her hand on your cheek. You sort of just stand there at first, frozen and not knowing what to do.
"Oh no, was that too much? I'm sorry-"
"Huh..."
You just stare at her, dazed as you move your hand up to gently touch your lips and Robin practically melts on the spot.
"I like you too, you dumbass. You would've known if you didn't throw the letter away! Why would you throw a letter away, what if it was something important like-"
"Can you kiss me again?"
That managed to shut Robin up as she turns red again, a shy look forming on her face before stepping close to you, tiptoeing slightly as she places a hand on the back of your neck before kissing you softly and in that moment you really regretted throwing the stupid letter away- but hey, she's kissing you and you're smiling like a kid in a candy store. Can't complain.
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cameronspecial · 7 months ago
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some angst inspired by july of noah cyrus?
can't really describe it
Slow Death
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader
Warnings: Mention of Abuse
Pronouns: She/Her
Word Count: 0.8K
Masterlist
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It’s hard to say when they fell in love with each other. It’s even harder to say when they fell out of love with each other. Neither Y/N nor Rafe could tell when they stopped being by each other’s side because they couldn’t fathom being apart, but because the change was a thing they were both afraid of. Y/N thinks it was a culmination that caused the shift in their relationship instead of one event that changed it all. One fight about who is going to do the dishes turned into a constant battle over the smallest and biggest things. 
———
Tears stream down her face as she replays his words in her mind. God, when did you become such a burden? The reminder of the burden she has become to the person she once loved causes a new wave of agony to come over her and as she feels herself hyperventilating, she begins to count to ten like her mother taught her. One, Two. Breath In. Three, Four. Breath Out. Five, Six. Breath In. Seven, Eight. Breath Out. Nine, Ten. Breath In. Her breath steadies and she peaks out to the balcony to see if Rafe is going to come in. Instead, she finds him relaxing on a deck chair with a beer resting in his hand. He isn’t facing her, yet his body language tells her he is in the same amount of pain as her. Exhaustion overwhelms her and she feels her eyes flutter. As sleep overcomes her, she is left wondering why they are both so okay with living a lifetime, slowly dying on the inside. 
———
She wakes up the next day and isn’t surprised to see her bedside empty. Her normal morning routine is followed to a T. The floorboards creak as she pads to the kitchen to make breakfast and annoyance floods her when she sees the kitchen island littered with beers. There has to be around twenty. Topper and Kelce must have come over once she fell asleep because Rafe could’ve never drunk all of that by himself. He sits at the counter, hunching over a bowl of cereal. She knows he has no plan to clean up his mess. “It isn’t that hard to put glasses in the recycling. It is literally at the end of the counter. You wouldn’t have to walk more than five feet to get to it,” she criticizes. Her mind busies as she begins to clean the mess. He grunts, “I don’t need you to mother me, Y/N.” The tone in his voice gives her the courage to stop pretending everything is fine. “What are we doing, Rafe?” 
“What?” The spoon he is holding drops and clangs against the ceramic bowl. She takes a deep breath, “Why are we still together if all we do is fight?” His hand runs through his hair and gives the ends a tug. “Because we love each other,” he argues.
She drops the beer glass she has in her hand onto the table. “Do we? Rafe, every single day, you remind me that I am not enough for you. That I’m not who you want so why am I still here?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“Tell me to leave! Then, I’ll pack my bags and get on the road.”
“I can’t do that. So if you want to go, then you can go all on your own.” 
She processes his words, wondering if maybe they mean there is still hope for their love. Except, she can’t let that hope override what is happening right now. She musters up her courage, “I’ll go.” His mouth parts slightly before he bites the corner of his lips. A shine glosses over his eyes and she is sure her expression mirrors his. Her steps are less certain as she makes her way back upstairs. The hard floor digs into her knees while she kneels in front of the bed to pull out her luggage. She hesitates. Memories of all the time change has screwed up her life come to mind. When she changed university, she ended up hating it because her new school was always on strike. When she decided to move out of her cozy apartment for a new fancier one, the new one ended up being built with a slew of violations. And the most important one of all, when her mother left her father for someone new. Her new stepfather ended up being an abusive asshole. Change hasn’t been kind to Y/N in the past, so why should she trust it now? 
The luggage is left in its place under the bed and she raises, going back downstairs to finish cleaning. Rafe says nothing as she recycles the rest of the bottles and gets to work on making herself breakfast. Because they may be dying a slow death, but at least it will be a familiar one. 
Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming @magicalyoura @rubixgsworld
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