#practically all the rumors about him are false btw

[shenzi-hemlock]

Given everything by Trump has done how can a Christian defend voting for him at all?

This is a loaded question and a logical fallacy that is attempting to lead the person answering to a specific, predetermined conclusion. This is not a question asked in good faith or with good intentions.

Now if you said that there is a lot of less than savory rumors about him and how do we as Christians go about figuring out what is the truth and what are lies and then figuring out what to do with the truth we find out about him, I would play ball with something like that. But as your current question stands, I won’t answer a loaded question.

[kittsyspaw]

✦ ❝ 𝐂𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐬𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭? ❞

𝑆YNO ✦ .ᐟ AcademicRival!Jay Jo makes you do a favor after catching you cheating on an important exam in exchange of him not telling on you

WARNINGS !¡ Blowjob no actual sex scene but its implied, SHELLY AND JAY AREN'T TOGETHER IN THIS, collage au, Exam cheating, degrading, OOC JAY BTW false persona etc, One-shot

Panicked students rushed to their seats, some prayed, others took looks on their notes or books while some practiced with each other for the last but not least exam. Well, except the two smartest students in the class, who sat at the back, one had his attention out of the window while the other sat right beside him, a smile plastered on your 'calm' face.

While in reality, you were panicking, your palms were oily from the sweat emitting from them. You were so busy the past two weeks, you didn't have the time to even grasp any learning material. But...the reason you were nervous wasn't just because you didn't study but because of the small ink writings that covered your whole wrist like tattoos. You have to pass this exam, or your frame will be ruined.

Jay hadn't paid you any mind, he would never confess to it but you angered him, always getting first place, just a few, a little nudge of more points than him. It made him jealous, it made his mother angry and his friends confused. The girl who always sat in the back, people feared to befriend you, hell, they even were too terrified to ask you for homework because you were on a totally different hierarchy level of intelligence.

You were what people registered as a rare breed of genius, many schools, projects and other companies begged to hire you, to meet with you or have you in one of their projects. You were a raw mystery. Nobody really knew you or who you really were, only a speck of an image spat about you from one gossiping ear to another.

Jay didn't care. At first, he didn't. He had ignored all the scandals and warnings, they told him not to compete with you, they challenged his smarts. Right away, the stoic male noticed the sheer difference in your presence, he lost, the person who bet on you winning a huge sum of money when you passed the last exam effortlessly, scoring 0.5 points more, winning the golden podium.

Ever since, he had been concealing the bitter resentment he had for you, why were you better? How come? Why did you have to be exactly in his class like a fucking curse, Jay jo kept up his monotone act, it was hard. You greeted him everyday, only him. As if the others didn't exist or never even did. You didn't even remember their names, or jay thought so.

He had a little... pride, you didn't acknowledge others to the point where people just started treating you like a goddess, one that just serves her brains and beauty, not allowing anyone in her little circle. Classmates feared you. Jay jo didn't, that's what made you start liking him, you just always had an eye on him.

But today, something was off, Jay had scraped off every little detail about you, he learned it by heart now, your whole dialogue started by you greeting him, organizing your books and pencil case, looking out the window before flashing him a smile then sitting up–straight, there was no dirt to dig up on you...always so...perfect. The other jealous people made up rumors that were hard to believe because you never revealed anything about yourself.

'I want to become a skilled surgeon.'

You had once told the black haired male and it never left his head since, on repeat like a mantra. The one, minuscule you exposed, you trusted Jay with it and boy did he gatekeep that information. He didn't question you any further, scared that you'll pull out of the small connection you two made because he's too pushy.

Yet...today, it was off, a fraud smile, no look out the window, your pencil case not set in a perfect 180° angle, you water bottle sluggishly standing on your desk and the constant jitters of your clenched palms, your posture shrinking. Your little jump when the teacher placed the last exam paper on your desk. "Eyes on your papers, you have two hours and forty minutes, breaks are not allowed, start."

Jay held his black pen between his thumb, pointer and middle finger, his name drawn on the papers before he viewed over the questions, starting with the hardest before continuing his way to the easiest one. Jay had done the sin to glance over at your desk, his glasses reflected the light on the ceiling as he progressed what he was seeing.

The fury that stirred in the male made his fingers clench around the pen, almost twisting it around. All this time? Fucking 'intellectual' his ass, he was gawking at the cheat sheet on your wrist with a clenched jaw, a vein popping on Jaye forehead. All the arguments he got into with his mother, the days he spent praying that you'll change schools for his own good, all of that frustration came from the fact that you cheated? Did you do this with every exam?

He wanted to yell at you right away, rat you out to the teacher right away instead of that...he was quiet. Jay could use this to his advantage, it was a huge piece of blackmail, a dust that he scratched off, that could ruin your life if you wanted to pass this year. And Jay wasn't an asshole either...but it was a win-win situation.

The time flew past your presence and just as you wrote the last answer, ending it with a period, the end-coming alarm went off and the teacher started collecting the exam sheets, you let out a huge sigh, the previous state of you being nervous finally subsided to a normal flow again. "How did you do?"

You shrank at the question, the guilt from being deceitful made you bite down on your bottom lip, chewing on it. "Good, i think." Jay narrowed his eyes at you, his teeth screeching against each other painfully, how dare you? And now you're lying? Looks like that neat persona of yours was faked too.

"oh I bet you did."

The reply you gave was perplexed but Jay shrugged it off so you copied him, not reasoning much with it, just being glad that you didn't get caught in the middle– "I saw you, you know that, Right?" The whisper in your ear made your bit hunched back straighten up immediately, looking at Jay with horrified eyes.

"What are you talking abou–" you tried brushing it off as a joke, your smile faltering when you caught on, you were unshielded from the comfort of thinking that nobody had an idea you were cheating on the exam, your fists clenching at Jays solid face. "Yeah? Did you?" Your lips puckered out in a whiny, sarcastic way.

The shock rotated to Jay who was buckling up in the change of identity, your bitchy and sassy side was seeping through the cracks of the collapsing walls in the perfect person facade.

Jay readied himself to cool down from your defensive come-back, cold eyes not separating from his distant, black hues. "So what? Ya' gonna rat out on me? Awh! finally you got some tales to tattle about to teachers about me?" he was bewildered, absolutely taken aback, Jay got whiplash from the switch of tone...you had suddenly become someone else.

"And if i do? You can smooch your future of being a surgeon goodbye."

Oh now he did it. He touched the most sensitive and easily angered nerve in your body, pushing you to your limits. "Don't you fuckin' dare." You hissed through your teeth, the little smirk that showed Jays canines made you frustrated, your painted fingernails digging into the wood of your desk, you two were the only ones in the empty classroom that was just filled with conversations, papers being flipped, zippers opened and keys jingled.

"Or what? What are you gonna do?"

Your bottom lip trembled, your eyes glossy and when Jay caught sight of that, his ego faded...did he feel good making you almost cry? You trusted him with sour dream job and he used something that wasn't even bad-gossip as a weapon "Don't cry. I'm not an asshole.... we're gonna make a deal, yeah?"

"What...is it?" You stuttered out, afraid to ask for what the agreement was going to be. Jay looked you deep in the eyes, turning his body so it was in your direction before speaking with no hesitation at all.

"Get down on your knees."

The request left you speechless, your mouth agape, scoffing right after. "Excuse me?" The male tilted his head, as if you had said something wrong, you had no right to question this, your future was on the line. "What is it? You don't understand? It's our deal."

The bold letters of humiliation were printing inside your head as you slowly pushed the chair and got down on your legging covered legs, folding your hands in your lap, refusing to look Jay in the eyes. He taunted you by chuckling, placing his veiny hand over your head, patting the hairs enough for his fingers to get between the spaces of your hair.

Pulling harshly, you yelped at the sting, hands clawing at Jays wrist violently, your face scrunching up as he made you look up at him towering over you, the grip withered, he stroked your head again, was this revenge? "Don't act coy, I bet you've done this multiple times before, didn't you, cheater?"

Your ego was hurt by the insult and you were distracted by the sound of a zipper after that, gulping in anticipation...you were gonna do this. For your surgeon future. Well, a hidden part in your tummy was thrilled, finally the eunuch with no desire for any girls touch that you were crushing on was making a move... although this was the wrong situation.

"Go on..."

Batting your lashes a few times, you took out Jays cock...oh it was huge, to your shocker,...it didn't fit in your hand completely, licking your lipglossed lips at the pearly pre-cum collected on his reddish tip. Jays dick was perfect...he was well groomed, two veins on it, one longer than the other and it throbbed teasingly at your cold touch.

Giving it a few kitten licks, Jay groaned, glaring at you through his thick eyelashes, his entire mood changed to a humid one, anyone could walk in at you two and that feeling made his breathing heavier. His hips bucked up after you finally made a 'o' shape, welcoming him in your mouth, only the tip ...your tongue flicking at the slit, licking away the salty drops while your hand twisted up and down his shaft.

Fuck, it definitely wasn't the first time you did this....fucking whore Jays mind was snatched away from him when your real gig started, you bobbed your head up and down, saliva coating up his dick where all the blood in his body had rushed too.

Jay jo was so turned on by you, so painfully. Your alluring eyes that only sirens would behold, your sinful mouth and the way you worked yourself to pleasure him, through his dim vision, Jay caught your wrist sneaking beneath your pencil skirt, rubbing yourself even when a thin layer of leggings covered your heat. You gagged at the penetration against the center of the back of your mouth, Jays hips working together with you.

Did he just get bigger in your mouth or was it your imagination? It was getting harder to breathe with your nose solely, it wasn't going to be any easier with Jay down your throat. Sultriness was pulling Jay in, his mind was turning into mush, the liquid in your mouth, the warmth of your throat and the way your cold hand fisted the rest of his dick.

"F-fuck...you chea– Ahck!" His words were abducted from continuing when you sucked fiercer, moving your head around and your tongue swirling and whipping at him. Just as he was about to cum, you spat him out of your mouth, a bubble of saliva mixed with cum popping with an embarrassingly loud noise that echoed. You coughed a few times before speaking up,

The knot in his stomach was long gone, just seconds before it was gonna go off like fireworks and make his vision darken, eyes roll back as the muscles of his eyebrows pulled them up in pleasure. His glasses almost slid off his nose, they sat crooked there, his cheeks were reddish and it definitely wasn't a fever, the sweat glistened.

"still calling me that? Oh poor baby, couldn't cum?"

You stroked his thigh, resting your head on it as you looked up at the dishevelled Jay who was taking long, big gasps. Your painted pointer finger placed itself on top of his slit, playing with his dick, moving it back and forth, allowing the mess to slide around freely. "Fuckin' Hell... don't do that or I'll cum, yeah?" Jay stared at you with vulnerable, glossy eyes, not even mad that you cut him from his ecstasy.

The male found a grip on your head as you gave him doe eyes, purposefully making him even more feral than he was. "It's okay, i understand....you want to be fucked, right? Fucked so good...you won't even remember your name..." Your puffy, slick lips curled up seductively, running your tongue over them slowly for Jays gaze, you nodded, giving him a pleading look.

His eye twitched, he was gonna fuck that stupid face off, for humiliating him earlier and making him so chaotic at the fact that you were smarter than him. Jay knew that you were anyways, but this time, this was for his own good. He was gonna use this for a while, maybe even have you teach him a few things.

Yay, im kinda on fire lol, but i want the webtoon windbreaker tag to be about the webtoon cuz the anime has taken over lol

The last part was rushed again but im practicing to write smut so yeah

[kidcooperart]

I LOVE YOUR 2000'S AU SO MUCHHH

can you give us some hcs about it

Also, in this au harumi and hanzo are friends(or more?) with kuai ??

Love your character designs and the 00's fashion chices hope you make more 😍😍

Thanks! I can give some general stuff my sister and I have for the au 🫡 It's been fun making these designs for everyone and researching back on 2000s fashion. It's my favorite type lol, growing up I wished I could dress like all the older girls, and now I can dress up characters like it!

Mileena has a booked schedule; AP classes, soccer, fashion club, and student body president duties. She likes to keep herself busy as well as make her parents proud. She's an awful driver but hasn't gotten into an accident yet so she has a lot of false confidence lmao. Her best friends are Tanya and Rain, they give off gay friend group vibes but they gotta be in the closet I think (big inspirations for Mileena is late 2000s fashion, dipping into the mcbling era, a bit of scene as well. Total Millionaires influence as well)

Kitana is in cheer and photography! She likes being active in a way that works her whole body and keeping some grace to it. She enjoys taking photos of her friends and family, not wanting to forget a moment. She's top of her class while still finding time to roam the mall and enjoy her youth. She spends a lot of time looking out for her sister, however. (Also we hc she has a bit of a crush on Kuai Liang) (inspirations for Kitana are Britney Spears in her prime. Very girl next door, Michelle Branch inspo)

Bi han does shot put for the track & field team, and hates having to wait for Kuai Liang to finish his runs. He plays on his Xbox at home, co-op Halo matches with his friend Sektor. He's the designated driver of the group and he hates being chauffeur. Into divorced dad rock crush on kitana btw (inspirations fashion wise was lowkey LeoDicap for some reason? He's also my outlet to express how much I love grungy emo rock of the 2000s)

Kuai Liang does long distance runs for the track & field team, incredibly thankful Bi Han waits for his practice to end to drive him home. He's into skateboarding as well, often hanging at skate parks with his friends Hanzo and Harumi. He plays guitar as well, picking it up to play his favorite rock songs. He does a lot of house maintenance, going grocery shopping and cooking for his brothers. (Inspiration fashion wise was Fred Durst lmao idk why it just fits him in my brain. Also the guitar stuff comes from us just thinking Kuai being a Santana fan makes sense)

Tomas is in 5th grade and likes hanging out with his brothers and their friends, it makes him feel cool and included. He, Syzoth, and Ashrah are a little friend group of outcasts, he doesn't care and will defend his friends. He loves movies, especially ones of up and coming actor Johnny Cage. He dips his toes into the early internet, playing online games like Neopets and checking out cool websites. (Inspiration is Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle lol and really myself growing up in the 2000s. I'm projecting your honor)

Some miscellaneous stuff is these guys mentioned above are neighbors! They've known each other a long time and get along...decently. Shao is business partners with Sindel and Jerrod, often leaving Reiko to be babysat by the twins (to their dismay). Reiko is one of the kids who picks on Tomas and his friends, finding it irritating they aren't afraid of him.

Jade is Kitana's close friend, she's a member of the field hockey team and loves shopping. Tanya and Rain are in color guard! Skarlet plays bass guitar and is trying to start a band. Nitara has a reputation of dating people and stealing their wallets, also rumored to be a vampire. Sektor and Cyrax are friends with Bi Han, they're Sci Fi fans and kinda geeky but they hide it well. (Sometimes).

Johnny is a fresh actor with a breakout movie under his belt, he's a little excited about how quick his career caught wind and is signing up for everything. He makes tons of appearances, loves interviews, signs up for the smallest of projects, and answers every fan letter. He moved out to LA with his girlfriend Cristina, and she hired 3 bodyguards since worries about Johnny getting lost in the excitement. Jax, Sonya, and Kenshi work for Johnny and are exasperated at how much he revels in his fame, but also how he stays genuine and kind.

(As for the Harumi, Hanzo, and Kuai thing...the three are definitely friends. I could go either way about the dating stuff, whatever is more fun lol)

(Also, additional hcs, the Lin Kuei Brothers are half Chinese half Mexican. Tomas is still Czech and adopted but he is my honorary Mexican. The Twins are Vietnamese and...something. Haven't decided if they'll also get hit with the Mexican beam through Jerrod or if Jerrod to me is just South Asian, haven't deciphered something specific yet)

[unnecessarywriting]

Mr. Protector Man - George Weasley

Request: Hey i never ask for a request before but here: like George and female reader are together and she is the daughter of Sirius then the year with Umbridge come and wont leave the reader alone because of her last name then George get very protective and make sure nothing bad is gonna happened to the reader. Ps i really like your writing! AND Hii! I like your writing and i was wondering if u could write a George Weasley imagine where the reader is Sirious Black daughter and its during the year where Umbridge is there and she’s giving a hard time to the reader and George is there to protect her and help her? Sorry this is veery long! Thank you

A/N: Thank You for Requesting. BTW Requests are always open. I kinda ran with this idea and played up dad!Sirius because I love that image. I hope you all enjoy it. Thank you!

Mr. Protector Man

There were only a few weeks left of your summer before you returned for Hogwarts for the final time, at least as a student. Your years at Hogwarts had been filled with twists thanks to the appearance of one Harry Potter, but you really couldn’t complain. In fact, you were quite grateful for his appearance. With someone with a more famous name than yours, you could finally move out of the spotlight and into something that you could call confidence. Not that you were not a confident person, but the constant reminder that your father was a murderer didn’t help in the whole “making friends” part of your life. Luckily, a pair of twins made their way into your life, and you could never explain how eternally grateful you were for their presence. 

In your fifth year, however, the attention turned back to you when your father escaped Azkaban. It would have been terrible for you, had you not had Fred and George constantly reminding you of how incredible you were. Overtime, however, you grew more comfortable with the knowledge that your father was free, and when Remus met with you to tell you all that he had learned, you were ecstatic. Finally, you could say that your father was worth the love that you had stored away for him. 

Your sixth year also brought about changes to your personality. You found that your confidence grew since people were no longer talking about you and your father. To say that you were grateful Harry was placed in the tournament was selfish, but you were happy to know that you could live your life without being put on trial for everything that you said and did because of your last name. Throughout that year, you were able to send a couple of letters to Sirius that were filled with your life story. He was thankful that you grew up to be happy and didn’t suffer at the hands of muggles like Harry did. All he ever wanted for you was for you to be happy, so when the summer came around, he was stuck at Grimmauld Place, you jumped at the opportunity to finally be with your dad. There were people, those that will not be mentioned, who thought that this was a terrible idea, but Remus suggested that this would be a good opportunity for the both of you.

When you finally moved in, you were nervous to be around the man who was never there to raise you. There was a part of you that resented him, but you understood the circumstances and swallowed your pride. When he saw you for the first time, he practically burst into tears, and you didn’t hesitate to launch yourself into your arms. You were both filled with joy at the thought of finally being able to become a sort of dysfunctional family. The rest of the day was filled with tears and laughter as he told you about his school days and you told him about yours. When Remus came to visit the happy family, he was shocked by how quickly you two got along. He thought there would be some awkwardness, but instead it felt as if the two of you had been together the whole time. He was delighted to see one of his oldest friends return to the world of the happy and see his smile be genuine. 

When the Weasley family joined what felt like a party of two, you were even more excited than before, although you were slightly disappointed at the loss of time that was going to be spent with your father. Your routine had changed to accommodate the gingers, but worst of all, you had to keep things under control with George. Sirius was aware that you were seeing someone, but he chose not to think too much into it. It wasn’t until he found the two of you cuddled up on the couch that he realized that your boyfriend was sleeping in the room right beside yours. Now, cue the protective father instinct, and you find Padfoot sleeping in the hallway between the two doors most nights. The problem with this logic was that Sirius was a deep sleeper, and so long as you didn’t step on the poor dog, you could get away with just about anything. You easily tiptoed across his sleeping body to find your boyfriend. George was worried about making this move, so he often let you do it to avoid him losing his life.

With only a few days left, you found that you were beginning to worry about what school would be like when you got back. There were rumors spreading and false information making its way into headlines. Both you and Harry were at risk to some bad treatment from the school, but you just remembered all of the stories Sirius told you about his time at Hogwarts and tried to channel his cool energy. Sirius could sense your change in demeanor, but he chose not to question it. He even looked to George to see if he noticed it as well, and he was pleasantly surprised to see that your attentive boyfriend was indeed acknowledging these small changes. They both wrote it off as some before school jitters, but Sirius and George were still worried about you.

Now, fast forward to meeting the pink toad. Everything in your body ached at the sound of her shrill voice. More than anything, you wanted to throw something at her in hopes of finally shutting her up. It wasn’t until your first class with her, that you really began to feel hatred bubble up inside of you. You were aware of how she mistreated others, especially Harry, so you tried to stay off her radar. Sadly, she was very aware of who you were and reminded you of it every chance she got. 

“Miss Black, please put away your wand.” You grimaced at her voice but maneuvered your wand away from the view of the wretched woman. You sighed and started writing down the useless information from the book. Everything that was written down and published was nearly a lie. You put your head in your hand and continued to sketch down those ideas of what a useless institution called “defense against the dark arts.” How was this even true? You lived with Remus and for a while with your father. Both people taught you defense knowing that your last name would be troublesome. This information was vital to your life, but this class was killing you slowly. 

“Ahem,” her voice made you want to shove the quill into your ears. “Miss Black, sit up straight and show some respect. It seems that you cannot act like a lady in this class. I will see you in detention tonight. Maybe then you will learn how not to act like the daughter of a murderer.” You scoffed, but you remained quiet. You thought back to your last talk you had with Sirius.

“You know, there are still going to be people who will say things about me.” You sighed at your father.

“Of course I know. I know the truth though, and for now that’s all that matters.” Sirius smiled at your commentary, but  he knew that words about your family can hurt, especially when they are pointed at you. He was someone who was unaware of the comments that can be made. He was worried before you were born that his name would be troublesome, but there was never a time that he believed that it would be his own fault. 

“I need you to understand that it is not your duty to defend me. The world will not believe the truth, especially given these times. They don’t believe Harry or Dumbledore, which means that they are not going to believe you. Please, promise me that you will take care of yourself first.” You reluctantly nodded your head.

“Fine, but I’m not going to be happy about it. I hate being a reflection of a lie.” You wanted the rest of the wizarding world to know what an amazing man your father was. You wanted to be seen as more than the daughter of someone who murdered his friends without a second thought. You gave your father a hug and murmured a promise to him that you meant to keep.

As you stand before the door that led to the devil, you questioned why you would make a promise that constituted you to put yourself in danger and to lose all that you had worked so hard to maintain in your life. Your night was spent with a throbbing, bloody hand, and a single tear that was not for the physical pain, but the emotional loss you acquired by allowing this witch to have an impact.

The following weeks, you met with the toad in detention. Most of the time, they were small offenses that typically would go unnoticed by other professors. You kept your word to your father the entire time, despite the physical and emotional turmoil of these events. The word “insubordinate” stained your hand and was a constant reminder of how you felt. You felt useless and worthless. This didn’t go unnoticed. George saw this change in your behavior. Your smile was forced, and your eyes were red with tears that he was certain met only your pillow. He knew that he had to take action. He felt terrible for doing something before, but he never knew how bad it was until he saw you that one night in the hallway.

You sat down on the ground and let your back trace the freezing bricks. You took your hand and wrapped it in a bandage, something you knew to bring with you now. You placed the wrapped hand against the wall, as a way to numb the stinging. You didn’t let any tears fall. Instead, you stared ahead of you and drowned out any noises. That was how George found you. He walked over to you and sat down beside you. No words were shared in this exchange. He didn’t know what to say or do to help, so he stayed by your side in silence, hoping that you would say something.

“I’m sorry that you have to see me like this. I will head back up to my dorm and get some sleep. You should too.” You stood up and placed a chaste kiss on cheek and walked briskly to your dorm. George watched your retreating form and realized that he failed to protect you like he wished he could. He made a promise to himself that he would not allow anything else to happen to you.

You were sitting in the great hall when George appeared beside you. He pulled you into his body and kept his arm over your shoulder. You forced another smile and tried not to get emotional. It felt strange to be held like you were so important to someone. George didn’t let you go for a while. Then you both made your way to the classroom that was known to bring pain and grief to many of the students. You sat down and tried to keep your cool. No matter how hard you tried to not cause any trouble, the woman always found a way to bring attention to you in a negative light.

“Miss Black, you should know by now that I am not a fan of your attitude, but this is unacceptable.” You weren’t even sure what she was lecturing you about. Honestly, you couldn’t care less what the issue was. 

“Professor, I think you should be respectful of this girl. She has done nothing wrong. You just don’t like her because you don’t like her last name. You should mind your tongue.” Those harsh and direct words came from the mouth of the one person who would always have your back. 

“Mr. Weasley, I will see both you and Miss Black in detention. Now, sit down and do your work.” George scoffed and walked over to where you were sitting. 

“I don’t think so. This class is over for today as far as I’m concerned.” His act of defiance came to a close with you being led out by him with a shocked look on the woman’s face. 

“George. George, stop it right now. We can’t just walk out of class. We are going to get into more trouble.” As you two continued down the hall he stopped abruptly. 

“No Y/N. I am not going to stop. You’re the one who needs to stop lying to me. You can’t keep letting her have an effect on you. We both know that you are so much more than the reputation that comes with your name. She’s just jealous that you are more famous and pure than she ever will be. She’s a disgrace to the world. Not your dad, and most certainly not you.” His words brought the tears back. His love for you was unbelievably pure and unconditional. 

As George watched you fall apart in front of him, he held you. You clung to him as if he was going to disappear if you let go. You both stood in the middle of this empty hallway without a care in the world. Neither of you were aware of how much time was spent there. Your tears started to dry, and your hiccups eventually dissipated, much to your appreciation. You two only became aware of your surroundings when the sound of footsteps echoed.

“Mr. Weasley, Miss Black. Why aren’t you in class?” You turned your head in the direction of Professor Mcgonagall. As she saw your tear stained expression, her face dropped. She assumed what the issue was. Throughout your years at Hogwarts, she saw a lot of Sirius in you. You reminded her of the chaos your father and his friends brought to school, but you also reflected his kindness and sincerity. There had always been some dissonance between you and some of the professors, but she had always had a soft spot for you. With the terror of the woman in pink, she could only assume that you and Harry were getting the brunt of it. The Weasley twins as well, but she suspected that they were intentional in their actions.

“Sorry professor, but I couldn’t sit there and listen to her talk to Y/N like that any longer.”

“Please professor, it was my fault. Don’t let George get in any trouble for protecting me.” You couldn’t handle knowing that you were the reason George was in trouble two times in the span of an hour with two different professors.

“Did you two receive detention from her?” You both nodded. “Well, I will make sure that it is spent with me instead. Now, I don’t expect you to return to that class, but please try to be punctual to the others. Oh, and Miss Black, don’t let her words get to you. We both know the truth.” She offered you a smile and assured you both that she would see you in her office for detention, which you both know would not be a real detention. 

That night, you sat by George and talked. For the first time in too long, the two of you discussed how you were feeling. 

“Y/N you know that your name is not a representation of you. Her words are nothing more than a  jealous filled disgust. She holds the opinion of the ministry who refuses to acknowledge the truth of our times. But I need you to come to me if she ever says or does anything to you when I am not around. I will always do what I can to be there for you because you are worth the world.” You shifted to move closer to his body, and you nodded. You were grateful to him for being there as your voice when you couldn’t be there for yourself.

“Thank you Georgie for being there for me. I love you so much.” He chuckled quietly.

“I love you too, but this wasn’t a one time thing. I am here to be your hero, which I have already proved to be earlier, if I might add. You and I are going to do this together, and I’m not going to let her hurt you anytime soon. I will, however, be working with Fred to get some revenge going. You are welcome to join me, but you can’t be out in the field with us. I’m not going to let you get caught, and get into more trouble. Understood?”

“Yes George, I understand.” You giggled. “Mr. Protector Man.”

“That was all you came up with? I’m ashamed.” He laughed, and you joined in.

“Give me time, I’ll come up with something better eventually.”

When you returned to Grimmauld Place for the holidays, you were ecstatic. Your dad was just as happy to see you, especially to spend the holidays with you for the first time since you were an infant. Sirius was also aware that he owed a lot to your boyfriend. George had sent a letter to his mother that included an additional note for Sirius. He wrote about the issues that you were dealing with due to the pink witch, and how you did everything you could to uphold your promise to him, despite the physical pain you endured. Sirius was proud of you for being strong, but he felt guilty knowing how hurt you were because of him again. 

“Y/N, come here. I think we should talk.” You walked over to your dad and sat down beside him. “I know you made a promise to me earlier on, but I hope that we can acknowledge that this woman is not worth your time and energy. I know, because you're a lot like me, that you want to tell her off, and I think maybe you should. I just need you to be careful about it, because I don’t want you getting hurt anymore.” You nodded and thought about all that you wanted to say to her. You always bit your tongue, but you also thought that maybe it was a blessing in disguise that you never told her off. George knew exactly what to do and say to avoid you getting into any more trouble, but you knew that if you spoke your mind, then you probably would get into more serious trouble.

“Thank you, but I think I’ll keep silent a little longer. Plus, I’ve been helping Fred and George with their pranks, so I think that is enough for now.” Sirius’ face lit up knowing that you pranked the toad. That is exactly what he and James would have done.

“So, this George guy,” Sirius began with a smirk on his face, “I approve of him. He’s a good one, and I’m happy he’s with you.” You smiled at your dad.

“Me too. He really is the best.”

“I think him and I need to have a word though.” You sighed at him and gave him a knowing look. “It won’t be anything bad, entirely.” You laughed and stood up and patted him on the back jokingly. 

George appeared in the doorway and made his way over to your father. You left the two of them alone, knowing that their conversation was going to be a good one. 

After a long while, longer than you expected, George reappeared.

“So, what did you two talk about?” You urged, pointing a finger at his chest.

“You know, a little of this, a little of that. He just wants to know that you’re happy and that I am doing my job. Protecting you of course, and he offered a nice little threat that I should never even think about hurting you because then he would willingly find himself back in Azkaban.” You gasped playfully, knowing that your father would never actually hurt him, and that George could never hurt you either. 

“Well, the ministry thinks he is a murderer, so who knows what he might do.”

“I am your own personal Mr. Protector Man, so I don't think that he is going to be able to touch me.” You both laughed at his comment.

“I thought you hated that name. You told me you were ashamed.”

“It’s growing on me. I love you Miss Black, surname and all.”

“I love you too Mr. Weasley, but I think I like Mr. Protector Man a bit more.” You giggled and rested your head on his chest.

[the-archlich]

Went back to read some of the old spotlights (thank you btw for all the amazing work you put in it’s the only way tumblr blog I’ve read consistently the past few years), in regards to Guanqiu Jian- how much validity do you think the points in the edict he made were against Sima Shi? For a long time military commander who served in countless battles, he would have had to know his rebellion was going to be a suicide pact without a massive army. Just seems like a terrible error of judgment.

Oh god. Old spotlights. Sorry about those. Y’all deserved better quality articles. But moving on...

On the one hand, it was a very political document, phrased very carefully. All of the criticism is leveled at Sima Shi specifically, sandwiched between effusive praise of other members of his family. It’s possible he hoped to convince Sima Shi’s own family to turn against him. Guanqiu Jian may have even been benevolent enough to spare the rest of the family if they did, although it’s hard to imagine any of the Sima would credit that.

Guanqiu Jian was probably thinking the same thing most rebels are. That when he raised his flag and started to march against the evil usurper, others would join him. But history (even his recent history) shows that’s too idealistic. Just look at how many people were content to sit back and let Dong Zhuo do whatever. Most people find it easier to live under a tyrant than fight one.

As for the accusations themselves:

Now Sima Shi, an official in the prime of his life, feigns ill health while he has no real disease, yet has strong troops under his command; he does not serve the sovereign as is proper to a subject. The court officials criticize him and men of principle jeer at him. It is something of which the whole Empire is aware. This is his first crime.

This, I think, is false. We know that Sima Shi did indeed have a major disease that required ocular surgery. And beyond that I don’t think his reluctance to personally lead armies is really a fault. But it was a marked contrast to his father, and no doubt it offended the soldiers.

In preparing to attack the rebels, Sima Yi would have grain for the army unhusked in large quantities and set definite dates for launching his attacks. Sima Shi, as a high official of the State, ought to eliminate the national calamity (i.e. Wu and Shu); as a son he ought to bring his father's work to completion. But he ceased mourning for his father, and had all his work stopped. As a subject, he is disloyal; as a son, he is unfilial. This is his second crime.

Again, I don’t think this one is a fair criticism. There was a long precedent for ending mourning rituals early, and aggressive campaigns against Wu and Shu were always a risky proposition. This is another charge that I think was intended mostly to alienate Sima Shi from the soldiers.

While the rebels withdrew to Dongguan, he mobilized the troops; the three (jiangjun with the word) zheng (in their titles) advanced simultaneously. But our troops were lost and our army defeated; the military preparations of many years went to ruin in one day, so that the rebels were induced to come. The Empire fell into disorder, the people suffered from death and injury, or wandered homeless. This is his third crime.

Here, Guanqiu Jian criticises Sima Shi for Wei’s losses in February 253; most notably the defeat at Lake Chao; and for Zhuge Ke’s retaliatory invasion. Guanqiu Jian himself fought on that campaign, and the losses at Lake Chao forced him to quit the field without achievement. This is actually a fair criticism. Others, notably Fu Jian, had objected to the campaign in the first place. As its architect, Sima Shi does deserve his share of the blame.

The rebels mobilized the entire forces of their State, and with five hundred thousand men, as they claimed, they advanced towards Shouchun intending to proceed to Luoyang. It happened that we and the taiyu Sima Fu proposed the strategy of blockading key positions without crossing arms, and returning to strengthen the defense of Xincheng. The generals and troops in Huainan rushed against spears and trampled drawn swords, defending their positions day and night. They were engaged in this strenuous work for a hundred days, the dead strewn on the ground. Since its very beginning, the Wei army has never suffered a more severe hardship than this. Yet Sima Shi has arbitrarily made no proposal to enfeoff and reward the heroes in this campaign. Power was in his hands, but he did not use it to record the merits of these men. This is his fourth crime.

Guanqiu Jian is referring to the defense against Zhuge Ke in 253. While Jin Shu says that Sima Shi took command of the overall campaign, SGZ seems to disagree. Guanqiu Jian himself names Sima Fu as the commander, which agrees with other accounts. Guanqiu Jian claims that Sima Shi didn’t grant due rewards to those who earned glory during that great battle. This accusation is likely true, although a closer look at Cao Mao’s annals probably could solve that question.

The late zhongshuling Li Feng and others, considering that Sima Shi did not act as is proper to a subject, wanted to denounce and expel him. Knowing of this, Sima Shi invited Li Feng to come to him, and that evening struck him dead, carried off the corpse and buried the coffin. Li Feng and his associates were high officials and in the confidence of the sovereign. Yet he applied brutal measures to him on his own authority, killing him without first having charged him with a crime. Sima Shi did not respect the authority of his sovereign. This is his fifth crime.

Guanqiu Jian criticizes Sima Shi for executing Li Feng and his conspirators without any sort of due process. It’s a fair criticism. While that group was planning to kill him and some action had to be taken against them, Wei had formal structures for such an event. Sima Shi bypassing them entirely is worthy of criticism.

Sima Yi used to express his admiration of the Prince of Qi and would say that he was worthy of being a sovereign; he thus fixed the relationship between sovereign and subject. Having served as guardian for fifteen years, he wanted to hand the power of government to the Prince of Qi: He inspected arsenals and ordered the bodyguards not to leave their posts without permission. Knowing well his own wickedness and iniquities, which secured blessing neither from the spirits nor from men, Sima Shi dethroned his sovereign under a false command from the Empress Dowager, charging him with crimes. Sima Fu, a paternal uncle of Sima Shi, is by nature good and filial; when he bade farewell to the Prince of Qi, he could not control his grief; and the multitudinous officials were all angry at Sima Shi. But Sima Shi was insensitive and did not pay attention to the cardinal principle governing the relationship between a subject and his sovereign. This is his sixth crime.

This one speaks for itself. Guanqiu Jian is denouncing Sima Shi’s removal of Cao Fang under a forged or forced command from the Dowager. That definitely happened. Even if the details are a bit muddled by contradictory sources, Sima Shi certainly used his power to remove an inconvenient sovereign. This is probably the most significant charge Guanqiu Jian could point at him, and arguably the only one that matters.

Then again, the late guanglu dafu Zhang Qi was innocent of any crime, yet he put him, his wife, and his children to death. Even the mother of the State, the Empress, was affected: he pressed the August Person to send her away. At that time, all were grieved and astonished, there being none that did not lament. Yet Sima Shi called it felicitous and rejoiced. This is his seventh crime.

This, too, is related to the conspiracy with Li Feng, Xiahou Xuan, etc. Seems a little sloppy of Guanqiu Jian to put it here.

Since the accession to the throne, Your Majesty, intelligent and martial, has applied his mind to all matters; he wanted to economize and make things simple. The Whole Empire, hearing of this, rejoiced. Yet Sima Shi would not improve and repent, nor practice the due obligations of a subject; instead of doing this, he levied troops and brought havoc to the palace, the feudal lords taking their own protective measures. At the beginning of Your Majesty's accession to the throne, he did not appear at Court to pay homage. When Your Majesty wanted to visit him at Sima Shi's home to inquire after his ailments, he refused to admit you, thus disobeying the laws of the land. This is his eight crime.

This is discourtesy to the emperor. Certainly a capital offense, though I don’t know if we have any evidence of it beyond Guanqiu Jian’s words. Of course, given the circumstances under which Chen Shou’s records were written, there is reason to be a little cautious about what he might have omitted.

Recently the lingjun Xu Yun had been appointed zhenbei jiangjun. Because he had made a gift of government property, Sima Shi impeached and punished him. It is true that he was merely banished, but he killed him by making him starve on the road. Hearing of this, the whole Empire grieved. This is his ninth crime.

Guanqiu Jian criticizes Sima Shi for his treatment of a respected official Xu Yun. This is all accurate. He committed a minor crime and was dismissed, which (indirectly, as Guanqiu Jian admits) led to his death.

The defense of the three quarters had become deficient, but he selected picked troops in large numbers to serve as his guards; the troops in the Wuying had become deficient, yet he would not supplement their number. Arms and weapons he took in quantities for his own barracks. The whole Empire knows of it and every one resents it; rumors course through the highways of the land, and the Empire is suspicious. This is his tenth crime.

Guanqiu Jian charges Sima Shi with building up his personal guard and resources while neglecting the needs of the state. However it should be noted that Guanqiu Jian speaks in terms of rumors and things “everyone knows” so this charge might not be authentic.

By profusely granting leaves of absence to the troops, he would win praise and make the four quarters empty of troops. He monopolizes power in order to exult his vicious intentions. He drafts men for the military agricultural colonies; he distributes rewards and obstructs the military work. He dares to disturb the ancient laws: he has the various feudal princes and dukes assemble in Ye, his intention being to kill them all. On one day he started a coup d'etat and dethroned his sovereign. Since Heaven does not help the wicked, it made his eyes swell, so that his attempts were frustrated. This is his eleventh crime.

In this last charge Guanqiu Jian says first that Sima Shi is taking measures to make himself popular with the army at the expense of its effectiveness and proper conduct. That’s probably accurate. It also reiterates the criticism for removing Cao Fang, which is certainly fair. However Guanqiu Jian also accuses him of planning to kill all the various members of the Cao clan in Ye, which doesn’t seem to have ever been on the table. That part is probably rumor or slander.

So all in all, I’d say that the charges are more accurate than not. Sima Shi was absolutely guilty of the most serious accusations, even if others aren’t quite so straightforward as Guanqiu Jian suggests.

[pimbilucha]

Trigger Warning.

-this post mentions Statutory s*xual behaviors with a minor (no intercourse) mild mention of self-harm and eating disorder-

I have never talked to anyone about this because even though i conceptually know it was not my fault, i was a child that was tricked by someone double her age, i still felt guilty and ashamed. i still do hence the reason why i am doing this anonymously or at least as anonymously as i can. For a long time i had just given up on talking about this and decided to deal with it on my own, but recently something happened that encouraged me to tell my story, maybe not as a comfort to myself but hopefully to help prevent this happening to anyone else.

At this point, many of you have already heard about what Millie Bobby Brown said about her relationship with Drake, the moment i read this it raised multiple red flags, and as i have seen it did the same for others as well.  I also imagine that there are many others that might think “these Tumblr dweebs always making such a bit deal out of everything” “its not that big of a deal” and i also imagine that there are kids around Millie’s age annoyed that people are reacting that way. So, i want to use my personal experience as an example to show you that it t isn’t always exaggeration and SJWs trying to find something to complain about. however, before starting i want to make a disclaimer that although i find DRake’s behavior problematic and gross, to be honest at the end of the day i do not completely know his intentions so i do not want to falsely tarnish his name (you know i don’t want to get sued or whatever) i am just using this recent situation as an example i suppose.  

When i was 14 i felt a lot of pressure to fit in, as many of us do. Due to this pressure, i did a lot of stupid things i wish i had not done. one of the things that i was so harsh on myself about was dating, because of the society we live in and the media and such kids are basically told to start dating as fast as possible, if they don’t then there’s probably something wrong with them; i am not trying to vilify dating, i mean if you want to start dating at 13 or 14 sure go ahead i mean i do feel it’s too young to go through all not so pretty parts about dating but as long as you want to and it is someone around your age 13-14 or 15  go ahead but i also want you to know that if you don’t date until much later in life or not at all even that is also okay don’t force yourself to do it, because that's what i have done multiple times and i regret it deeply. The first time, when i was 14 i had never liked anyone i actually didn't have a real crush on a real person (none celebrity or fictional) until i was 19, but during my preteen years my lack of interest in anyone troubled me i felt like i was odd, like there was something wrong with me so every once in a while i forced or tricked myself into having “crushes”. one, in particular, was on a boy who lived in the same apartment complex as one of my “friends” at that time, which coincidentally was located across the street from my apartment complex so you can imagine that i spent a lot of time in her house. The biggest coincidence was that this boy’s stepfather was my new volleyball coach, he worked at our school, a Catholic all-female school. As i had been practicing volleyball since i was in 5th grade (my school goes from pre.K to 11th-grade high school when you graduate) my “plan” was to get close to my coach so i could get close to his son. I can now see how seriously flawed and troublesome this was but alas, i was a child and all my “friends” seem to think it was a perfect idea.  i feel like a need to give a little background so to make this a little bit less of a huge mess. for starters these “friends” i keep mentioning were part of a bigger group of friends, we were about 10 or 12 and we had all been friends since 3th grade, most of the time it was my best friend and i and the rest, however in 7th grade our teachers separated us and my BFF and i were in different classrooms and the rest were all divided with us. I was in the same classroom as three of our friends... let's call them “TCA” i remember that during 3 and 4th grade would always fight with those three but we always made up, i haven’t talked to them since btw. T is the one that lives in the apartment complex across from me and in the same place as the coach. My best friend and i drifted apart during that year but her parents still drove me home after volleyball practice every week *that’s relevant to the story later* 

The “plan” started off going well, i mean at least i thought it was. I remember thinking if the coach thought i was pretty he would start talking to his son about me, that's what my grandma did every time she saw a good looking boy why would this be any different?? so i started trying to look as pretty as i could during practice ( i can’t help but shake my head at 14-year-old me) on time TCA and me were at T’s apartment and we decided to go look for the boys to ask them if the wanted to hang out with us, when we got to the coach’s house his son wasn’t there, nor was his wife or his daughter (that went to school with us but was younger) yet he still thought it was okay to invite us in, we accepted because i think we thought “oh my God! we get to see the inside of a teachers house!!”  but now i know that this should have been a warning sign. To make a long story short, i started spending a lot of time with the coach, i don’t know how or when but apparently what i was perceiving as a friendship? or his help to get close to his son now i know was something else, what i thought was friendly funny banter he probably thought it was flirting? Then at some point even though in a way i knew it was weird i started enjoying the attention i was getting and although i felt guilty when you’re 14 and you already think there’s something wrong with you for not dating or having crushes and then suddenly someone is giving you that attention you felt you needed, its ..intoxicating. he started finding ways to get me alone with him, it was weird i felt a little uncomfortable, i knew things were heading in a completely different way i had imagined, and i didn’t want it to go that way, i was scared and nervous but the attention made me feel special, mature even. Then one day for volleyball practice my best friend couldn’t stay, therefore i didn’t have no one to take me home, there was no one at school. i spent the two hours in that were usually designated for practice in the gym with all the gym teachers until one by one they all started leaving, as i was about to leave the room the coach stood in front of me and kissed me. it was my first kiss, i was 14 and a 40 something married man with kids whom i trusted took it from me. that day while walking home, something i wasn’t supposed to do, it took me 2 or 3 hours to get to my house (you can study far from your area where I’m from) and during the whole walk it was so confused, i felt gross and wrong i kinda wished i was run over by a car, but at the same time i felt special too in such a twisted way i can’t even explain.  A few days after that he told me to meet him at night, i thought and hoped it was to tell me that what he had done was wrong, so i made up a lie and left my house, meet him somewhere and to my horror he took me to a motel, i tried to convince myself it was so no one could see us while we talked, i was only half right. 

i still remember every moment of that night and it sends shivers down my spine, i feel repulsed and gross i feel like i want to bathe in bleach. i am thankful that i was able to keep my clothes on the whole time, i am also thankful to god there was no intercourse just touching and kissing. It wasn’t mutual, i just remember laying there and wanting to go home, just waiting for it all to stop. i felt shame, i felt gross and evil, i didn’t want it but i never said no, i just let it happen, laying there to scared to move, i did say no to other things though, like getting into the tub or something he kept mentioning he saw in “American pie” i did say no to that, but i never stopped him from touching me, i remember he grabbed my hand in tried to make me feel how “turned on”I had made him, it was scary it was gross i just pulled my hand away and pretended it didn’t happen. i was confused really confused i didn’t want it but part of me was like “well you like the attention, what did you expect you’re not saying no so you must like it” the rest was scared. when it finally finished, he took me back home, he left me a few blocks away and as i walked i felt dirty, like trash undeserving of respect, part of me wanted to die. i got home and pretended as if all was fine, but the more time passed the dirtier and the more disgusted i felt with myself. i hated everything about me, after that night i just avoided him like the plague but i still had to see him in class, i also started hearing rumors. i was terrified, i was ashamed, i felt guilty (i still do) and i just wanted to die. i remember he even got another teacher to get me to talk to him, i just blocked them all and tried as hard as i could to pretend nothing ever happened, or at least on the outside because in the inside i was withering away and so where my grades and everything else about me. 

In a desperate attempt for me not to fail a year my parents sent me to the U.S, you might have asked yourself where were my parents until now, they were at home they were there and i know they tried but they were also busy with a 1-year-old and a 9-year-old, they were also trying their best to give us the life we had: private schools, good neighborhood and such all with the income of one parent, in addition to that puberty, is a dangerous time where you build a wall against them for no reason. they tried i know they tried, when i walked home that time they were furious my school let me leave the premises without proper authorization given that i either rode the bus or my friends parents would drive me so i had no reason to walk home, after that my school implemented strict rules for letting students leave school property by foot, but i also know that because of how parenting is where i am from i would have probably just gotten yelled at and grounded (which would have been better tbh). anyway in America, i started cutting, i also started making myself throw up after each meal, i feel like in a way it was just a desperate cry for help, i never really made myself bleed they just looked like scratches but each time my family would find out my parents only yelled at me, and seeing how much it broke my grandparents hearts was enough to make me stop. I never really got the help i needed but i started focusing on myself, getting better on my own, getting good grades and forgetting it. When i want back to my old school in my home country, the coach was not in my school anymore, he had quite but his daughter was there for a few more years so i had to see his ugly evil face a few more times, i also saw him near his house since it was so close to mine, it always brought back terrible memories that made me want to die and burn myself but i was back with my real friends and although they don’t know everything that happened they gave me their love and support. 

to this day, i more often than not get random flashbacks of that time, they still fill me with shame, guilt, and pain. although i know i was groomed that doesn’t take the thorn of hatred i still have for myself, that doesn’t help me forget or forgive myself all i really learned how to do is live with it and try as hard as i can to pretend that it never happened. No one yet knows the full extent and my family has no idea because i don’t want me to look at me differently i don’t want them to not see me like the daughter they love, i don’t want people to see me as a (pardon my language) sl*t that didn’t say no. i know at this point that i probably didn’t do what i said i was and this probably doesn’t help to identify predators or gives any help at all. I just want you to know that if you read thus far that please be wary of any older person that shows a little to much interest in you, i know it might make you feel special and that the attention feels nice and it might be something you need but please stay away and tell someone. it can start innocently like a friendship, a  help or a guide and it may just stay like that, i hope to god it always stays like that, but sadly we share this world with gross gross people, that like taking advantage and grooming young naive kids. I don’t know how to put it into words, but just stay away from them, ask why are they showing so much interest in someone younger and much vulnerable than them i know it might sound like i am insulting you but i really mean it, why can’t they find friends their age? why are they showing such selfless interest in your love life? why are they asking you to not share seemingly innocent conversations or interactions with other? ask yourself that, ask someone you know and trust that. That’s why what Millie said rang some bells, again i am not trying to tarnish Drake’s name given that this is all just a misunderstanding, but you can’t just tell a 14-year-old “i miss you” and expect it not to sound predatory he may have good intentions, but i don’t know him and from this perspective he sounds like a threat i know all too well now. And even if! he is just trying to be a guide, he should be more mindful of what he says or does and maybe be aware that their interactions shouldn’t be so private, he is the adult he is the one with the power and he is the one that should know. i don’t even know what point I’m trying to make now, but just please be careful. 

Age is nothing but a number is only valid to motive you to not let it stop you from following your dreams, not as an excuse to be in an unbalanced relationship. during your first decade of life, every year is so different, i was a completely different person when i was 13 and when i was 14 and there's only a year difference, at 13 i was still interested in some toys and playing with my friends and i said i woullld never drink in my life, at 14 i was like uughhh! so lame to all of that and i got drunk for the first time ever; at 15 i was also much different than at 14, same as 16 and 17 each year it was as if i was a different person, with different tastes, style, thoughts, fears different everything, it wasn’t until 18 when i became more established in who i was and what i wanted, and even though now at 22 i am a little different than then the changes are minor, they’re more of knowledge and stability and anything else. i don’t think i could have a conversation with myself now and me at 14 it would be impossible, so why would someone much older than you want to be in a relationship with you? in a real stable healthy relationship? they don’t, they want to be in control, they want to handle you and use you how they want they want to trick you into doing what they want you to do even if you might feel uncomfortable. sure if you’re 20 and you’re in a relationship with someone a few years older (up to 7 feels okay) that's fine because you’re established as your own person now, you know the world a little better,  and both of you are in similar mental places which leads to you being in a balanced equal position, were both of you respect each other.  IDK just be careful, i don’t know how to explain what i want to say. 

one more thing!  boys i know society always shows you it is okay too and that you are a bigger man when you are able to get the older woman or guy, i can name movies and shows that imply that but it’s not okay, this goes for you too!

again! i am not trying to tarnish DRakes name, i am aware i might be translating my personal experience into this situation and making it a misunderstanding. in the off chance, it is this case i apologize but i am not sorry it still serves as an example. please stay away from younger girls. YOU HAVE THE SAME AGE DIFFERENCE WITH MILLIE AS MY PARENTS HAVE WITH ME, A 17 YEAR DIFFERENCE. YOU COULD BE HER FATHER IF YOU WOULD’VE HAD HER YOUNG. so stay away, she has other younger people that can help her with boys. if your intentions are not bad i apologize but stay away.

[bigbluebarns-blog]

ABLEISM REDUX

Well… There are so many different dimensions of disability that people can be ableist toward those with different disabilities than their own. …And it’s only in the last couple of generations (within my lifetime, at least) that Disability Rights groups have banded together in a common cause (Rather than, say: Rights groups for the blind working only for the blind, Rights groups for Cerebral Palsy working only for Cerebral Palsy, etc.).  Matter of fact, based on my own recollections, I think working together for universal access rights only really got any steam in the 1970s – when I was already a teenager.

Confession time: until relatively recently (like, the last 10 years, or so), as a physically disabled person, I was biased against those with intellectual disabilities, and would get quite insulted if anyone mistakenly thought I was “R

—–ed.”

@theborkplanet IDK HOW TO SEPARATE MY COMMENTS FROM YOURS AND COMMENTS FROM YOURS. HENCE THE CAPS. 

I WAS ALSO BIASED AND PROBABLY STILL AM SOMEWHAT, TOWARD PPL WITH INTELLECTUAL DISABILITIES(ID). I TOO USED THE R WORD. GROWING UP MY EXP WITH PPL W/ ID WERE NEGATIVE OR GROSS, AND NO ONE EVER BOTHERED TO EXPLAIN SOMEONE’S ID TO ME, SO ALL I KNEW WAS NEGATIVE BEHAVIORS EG JO GRABS STUFF AND SCREAMS; NO ONE EVER EXPLAINED HER AUTISM. MOE HAS DOWNS SYNDROME, IS OBSESSED WITH SAYING “BOOBIES” LOVES THE EFFING BEACH BOYS AND FARTS A LOT AND NEVER SHUTS UP; HOW ANNOYING; NO ONE EVER TOLD ME ABOUT PERSEVERATING, OR THAT DS CAN CAUSE GI PROBS SOMETIMES. AL MUTTERS, HE STINKS, AND HE KNOCKED OUT HIS AIDE SO I’M AFRAID THAT AL WILL GET ANGRY WITH ME AND KNOCK ME OUT; NO ONE EVER EXPLAINS HIS CONDITION, SO I GLEAN MY INFO FROM EAVESDROPPING and RUMORS. THE ABLE-BODIED ADULTS DIDN’T BOTHER TO PROMOTE UNDERSTANDING EVEN THO WE WERE ALL TRAPPED ON THE SAME SPECIAL ED BUS, SO THE PASSENGERS WITHOUT ID TALK SMACK ABOUT THE ONES WITH ID. THE ONE TIME I ASK, “WHAT’S AL HAVE?” ABLEBODIED ADULT SHAMES ME FOR ASKING AND BLATHERS ABOUT CONFIDENTIALITY. NOT TRYING TO JUSTIFY MY PREJUDICE; JUST RELATING EXP. I’M ALSO WORKING THRU IT BUT U R RIGHT; NEVER 100% DONE. 

I’m working through it, and like to think I’m getting better (and one huge part of that is learning just how deep and intertwined institutionalized ableism really is, in our societies). But as with being a White woman dealing with racism, I have to remember that it’s a case of continuing recovery, and not something I will ever be 100% over and done with.

Thanks for sharing, @aegipan-omnicorn. You’re lovely.

@bigbluebarns, I don’t personally know anything about suffering racism, being a white american myself. However, I do know a thing or two about suffering ableism, both at the hands of able-bodied people, and disabled people.

People are incredibly social animals and will band together in groups with other similar people. This is natural, and it is good. It can be healing and cathartic to hang out with people who “get it.” But this tendency can also have an extremely dark side, as we see with “isms.” This is going to get long, so I’m going to break it here in consideration of people’s dashboards. Again, I can only speak to ableism and sexism so please keep that in mind.

OMG, I LOVE THESE NAMES AND TRADEMARKS. DID U INVENT THEM?

Ableisms I have suffered at the hands of disabled people:

The Cripple Police™: These are the people who, in an overzealous bid for limited access available, arbitrarily decide who is disabled enough to use a mobility aid, bathroom stall, parking spot, and even sometimes the label of “disabled.” If you are not Crippled Enough, you can be subject to any form of social punishment they deem to be necessary.

I HATE THE CP AND I’M CONSTANTLY REMINDING PPL THAT U DO NOT HAVE TO APPEAR DISABLED IN ORDER TO USE HANDICAP PARKING. IT’S LIKE THEY WANT U TO WEAR A TAG STATING U R DISABLED SO THEN THEY CAN ASSESS IF U MEET THEIR RANDOM CRITERIA.

Example: I used to be able to walk longer distances with a service dog, but was still a high fall risk. My doctor (a licensed neurologist) prescribed me a parking placard so that none of us had to worry (as much) about me passing out in a parking lot where no one could see me, and getting run over. A lovely woman in a wheelchair, who just happened to park in the accessible spot next to me, proceeded to scream at me and my service dog all the way into the store. A manager rescued me by going along with my ruse of knowing him, and invited me into the back were I fucking hid away until they told me she had left the store. It. Was. Scary.

EGAD SOUNDS HORRIBLE. BUT YEAH THERE IS A DISABILITY HIERARCHY

The Born This Ways™ : The experience between people who were born disabled, and who acquired disability later in life, vary a great deal from one another. BTW ableist types actively minimize the experiences of other disabled people, simply because they hadn’t been baptized since birth by xyz. In other words, the suffering was not identical to their own, thus must be invalid.

Example: I became disabled after adulthood, and tried to find solace after being subjected to ableist responses from friends and family members who were unable to cope with the “broken me.” I found lots of great disabled people who helped me, but I also found people who routinely scoffed at my experiences, again informing me that I was not “disabled enough,” and suggested I was being deliberately weak, or histrionic. Sometimes it was almost eerily word for word what my ableist friends/family said. How strange…

I’VE SEEN THE ACQUIRED DISABILITY IS BETTER. TM ADIBS MIGHT IMPLY, “WELL I’M A QUAD, BUT AT LEAST I GOT TO EXP BEING ABLEBODIED; I’LL HAVE EXP U SADSACK LOSER BTWS WILL NEVER HAVE. I GOT TO BE NORMAL FOR A WHILE” MOST OFTEN I SAW IT COME FROM PARALYZED PPL WHO WISHED THEY COULD WALK AGAIN. I WAS BORN WITH CP AND AB PPL ACTUALLY ASKED ME “WOULD U RATHER BE BTW OR AD?” BEFORE I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, I SAID “BTW, CUZ THATS ALL I KNOW AND I’VE HAD IT FROM DAY1 FALSE EQUIVALENCY WHEREAS ADIBS HAVE TO ADJUST” NOW THO I KNOW THAT EVEN I AS BTW HAVE HAD TO ADJUST TO CHANGING SYMPTOMS. DO U WANT 2 BE A TREE OR A MOUSE...UHHH...FALSE EQUIVALENCY ALERT, CAN’T COMPAPARE APPLE N ORANGE.

The Faker Police™: I think anyone with an invisible illness has experience with this one. This is when people who “look disabled” refuse to believe someone who “does not look disabled,” and proceed to treat them as hysterical attention seekers instead of…well, anyone else. These people often practice double ableisms–I have noticed that many also tend to judge Disabled Enough based on mobility aids. Then, they try to chase the “fakers” out of the community, because everyone knows “fakers” are why we have additional burdens added (like further hurdles to access, government aid, etc).

ALSO IF U HAVE AN INVISIBLE DISABILITY LIKE YOURS AND ME ALSO, I SEE THE “WELL EVERYONE GETS DEPRESSED/SAD/TIRED.” I END UP FEELING LIKE I HAVE JUSTIFY THE DISABLING NATURE OF MY DEPRESSION/ANXIETY TO A WEG. 

Example: Before my condition had progressed to me needing a mobility aid, I was already facing discrimination in the workplace. I requested an accommodation to have the crappy fluorescent lights removed from above my desk, as they provoke bad neurological symptoms. You’d think it was a little thing, but when I asked for advice on dealing with skeptical and belligerent management, I met the same reactions in some disabled people, followed immediately by “Fakers like you are why we see knee-jerk reactions like the word ‘no!’ Come complain when you’re actually disabled and need to have a ramp installed! Until then suck it up!”

The Totally Qualified Disability Judges™: This one seems to arise from the natural tendency of people to compare their situations to the situations of others. If they arbitrarily judge another person’s situation to be better or more favorable, then that person is not As Disabled, or Disabled Enough, or Disabled At All. Then, based on that judgment, they try to socially punish the condemned, or to excommunicate them.

Example: Some conditions are really straightforward and don’t vary widely. People with the condition all seem to have similar limitations. My condition is the exact opposite of that. I have the chronic form of migraine disease. Lots of people get migraines, but not all of them have more than 15 a month, and migraines can last anywhere from a few hours to three days. To some people, pain is the most disabling feature of a migraine, to others, the accompanying neurological weirdness is. (Migraines are often proceeded by cortical spreading depression, a phenomenon also exhibited in epilepsy. Just for an example).

So, when people hear what my condition is, they remember that one lady they used to know who had to lay in the dark for a couple days each month, and wonder why the hell I’m in a wheelchair. It doesn’t make sense to them (who cares that migraines don’t make sense to the most brilliant neurologists in the world), so they decide that I just must not be disabled. Or, if I am, it’s hypochondria. 

 I’VE SEEN: YEAH HAVE U TRIED XYZ CURE? IT REALLY HELPED THAT 1 LADY. IF U DON’T TRY XYZ WELL THEN UR LAZY N ALSO PROBABLY FAKING THE EXTENT OF UR DISABILITY?

Fun fact: Internalizing ableism from medical doctors, and from some close friends and family, and THEN the disabled people I came into contact with later, and from whom I seeked guidance, prompted so much self doubt that I had a licensed psychologist work me up for hypochondria and other related psychological conditions. It…turns out that I am not a hypochondriac. I could not find relief from all of these experiences until I encountered a neurologist familiar with my condition, and fellow disabled people who have been around the block, and who are not so embittered by their experiences that they deigned to expose others to the same.

For that reason, I will always be vocally critical of ableism within our community. I will not sugar coat it, nor will I flatter ableist disableds by giving them another name. That goes for my own ableism, too. Now that I have worked through a lot of my own, I can use my aids with confidence and obtain a freedom that is at least emotionally similar to the one I had when I first formed my adult identity (which was as an abled person).

AH YES, IN MY CASE, INTERNALIZED ABLEISM=ANXIETY N DEPRESSION. STILL NOT SURE IF DISABLED PPL CAN BE TECHNICALLY DISABLED BUT THAT’S JUST LINGUISTIC SEMANTICS.

CLEAERLY WE BOTH KNOW DISABLED PPL ARE CAPABLE OF ASSHOLERY.

CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO BOLD TEXT IN POSTS? #TUMBLR NOOB

For an example of sexism from women, see my post Never Underestimate Old Women, in which an old lady cashier schools us for self-righteous activism.

Thanks for the discussion!

[yukiwrites]

Fleeting Smile

Some time ago I asked you guys if you would read any original work I had, and since I got a very good response, I decided to type it! I don’t really know how to tag it, but feel free to ask away anything you wanna know about the plot, characters or sequels. This one will probably have only 3 chapters since it’s a short story, but depending on how you guys like it, I might post another originals later ;v;) I got inspired to write this after I watched the Shelter anime (it has absolutely nothing to do with it btw, only the song inspired me, so I highly reccomend listening to it as you read), so here you go! Please tell me what you think ;D

This is a land where magic is widely known, but hardly ever practiced. The reason for such is because the most powerful magical beings, the witches, were born without the ability to have feelings. Most of said witches do not concern themselves with human matters, though it is not uncommon for some of them to respond to human's strong feelings and make a contract with such human.

While the contract lasts, the witches are able to perceive emotions through their human host. As such, those magical beings curious enough to experience these sensations resonate easier with the human kind.

One of them, however, never once tried such fleeting and dangerous pass-time. Not because she never felt like it, no, but because the power contained inside her body was of a such great extent that not a single human's managed to demonstrate feelings strong enough to summon her throughout her ever-lasting life.

Witches are known not only by their deeds but by the contracts they have made -- and their aliases become their true names after they've forgotten their birth ones. This particular Witch, however, has had no name from the start of her life, and, because of that, she was known as The Void (or Devoid, depending of who was speaking of her).

Despite being some sort of legend around the magical world (dragons usually kept to themselves, but they loved to test their magical strength against witches from time to time, so their gossip was the one who flew faster), Devoid hasn't been heard of for over seven years.

Coincidentally, during that time, a single young man has been rumored to have incomparable power...

The wind had been strong at the wasteland, kicking up sand and making it difficult to travel as well as see the path ahead. From the distance, a single figure could be seen through the dust, its figure tall but hunched over, the steps strong and resolved.

Upon closer inspection, the figure was composed of not a single man -- he was carrying something, or rather, someone, on his back, hence the reason why he was hunched over.

Worried, he kept looking over his shoulder to the sleeping blonde little girl he carried. "Damn this place; there ain’t a single tall rock! How can I make camp, now? I don't want Suzu to be scratched all over by this fucking sandstorm." He grumbled.

The girl's white dress fluttered around the strong wind, her body as unresponsive as always. But he heard something inside his head and almost tripped due to the mental ear-pull.

"Aight, aight, sorry, Suzu." He laughed and groaned after rolling his eyes, "I ain't saying bad words anymore."

His black, tattered overcoat danced with the wind, though in a completely different direction, as though it had a life of its own. The long, eastern sword he carried on his hip did not move at all; like such measle wind was going to make it budge.

Once again, the man groaned. "Okay, fine, I give up." He crouched and placed Suzu on the ground right beside a wilted tree trunk. He let out a faint and tired smile as he put some strands of hair behind her ears before his eyes turned somber as he looked to the dark shadow far, far ahead into the wasteland. "If you're not letting me find a good place for her to rest, I gotta finish you off right away."

The air crackled around him and the figure, as though the sandstorm itself had breathed in and out, preparing itself for battle. Without taking his eyes off of the approaching darkness, the man took off his overcoat and placed it over the little girl. Her hair and clothes stopped fluttering; the coat served as a barrier against the climate, making Suzu look like she was simply sleeping peacefully covered with a tasteless black blanket.

Swiftly, the man took his overgrown sword out of its scabbard only to place the sheath beside the tree trunk. "Protect her, you hear?" He whispered and immediately a purple barrier enveloped the area around the sleeping girl.

The long sword he carried -- it had a deep, black blade.

No, it couldn't be called as such since it wasn't made of steel; it was made only of raw power. He had chosen his weapon to look like a sword because it was similar to what he was used to wielding in the past -- but it could shape itself in virtually anything he wanted it to.

Sensing his strong feelings and tight grip, the dark blade started to sway, ready to take the shape of anything its master ordered through their bond.

Free of his coat, the man could be seen on his entirety -- he had short, black hair and had countless scars around his body as well as a single cut in the middle of his face. Each step he took towards the darkness made his heart thump more.

"You knew I was coming, right? You guys always seem to." He yelled, his steps getting faster, his legs making him run.

Once he was close enough to the darkness, it towered over him by at least 30 meters, but he didn't cower.

He had but one fear, and that only surfaced after each fight he picked.

Without needing words to communicate, an Earth Dragon finally made itself seen through the sandstorm: It had a large turtle-like beak protecting its mouth, and, out of all of its species, it was the most physically strong dragon. Its scales were deep brown, contrasting with its hooves. It didn't have a tail and its wings couldn't take it out of the ground, but it had total control over each and every thing that belonged to the earth -- even the smallest shard of stone -- making it a terrible foe to winged enemies.

The Dragon let out a roar, accepting the challenge, already aware of the conditions.

"Ya'll are some gossipy grannies, ya know? Sheesh." The man complained, effortlessly jumping twice the Dragon's height so as to dodge a stalagmite it had created on the ground right in front of him moments before.

The sound leaving the Dragon's mouth could be heard as laugh, though its jaw wasn't made for speech. As soon as the man was vulnerable on the air, the Dragon made the hundreds of thousands of sand grains to condensate into earth needles before he shot them all at him.

"Oh!" The man let out an exclamation of false surprise as his sword moved too fast for the eye to see -- soon there were no shards around, though one or two made their way to scratch his face.

He never really researched about the foe he was going to battle, hence the amount of scars he carried throughout the years. He never really minded the physical pain, since any wounds on his body could be recovered.

As long as he held onto hope, nothing could faze him. Not pain, not giant dragons, not never-ending wastelands.

Not even death.

As long as he could avoid the fear he felt after each fight -- as long as he could hold onto the hope of being successful in his endeavors… He would defeat any foe in his way.

The Earth Dragon, despite having the best physical defense out of all, also had an incredible magical affinity, as every dragon in the world. The man's sword was made out of magic, though he himself used it as a melee weapon.

The battle was bound to last a while -- the man would try to cut his way through the physical and magical defenses by blindly hitting his overgrown enemy. If he had spared a thought and made an effort to look into the Earth Dragon's weaknesses, he would have found out about the five crystals engraved into the Dragon's scales: one inside each leg and another under its tongue.

But alas, the man was as brute as always, and his sword swayed impatiently. Having none of that, it abruptly raised itself over his head. He frowned and looked up to it. "Hey!"

A magical circle began to appear around the sword's hilt and the dark blade melted into a black smoke, bleeding into each and every symbol the circle created.

The Dragon felt a sudden chill over its spine -- if the next attack hit it, it would cease to be.

The magical circle grew and grew, until it covered almost the entire wasteland around them.

Then, time stopped.

Rather, it seemed to. It was the fickle time between breathing in and breathing out -- the calm before the storm.

The man held his breath, his hand still bound to the sword's hilt, now merged into the circle, before countless rays of darkness flew out of it at the speed of sound.

To protect itself, the Earth Dragon erected wall after wall around its weak points, but they were shattered to pieces under the immense dark power leaving the circle.

More sand kicked up, making the man cough and look over his shoulder to the place he had left Suzu: the barrier had held everything out, even the tiniest spec of sand. As though his hand wasn’t shooting a dark ray of death, the man breathed out in relief and cracked a smile looking at the little girl.

After everything was done, the circle bled back into being a sword and the man slowly glided back to the ground. His ears rang with the sudden silence after such tremendous explosion and he glared at his hand before taking a step towards the Earth Dragon.

However, no matter how many steps he took, he couldn't find the gigantic body. "Great, did you pulverize him to death, Witch?" He spat on the ground.

A weak laugh was heard a few paces away from where he stood. "Ahaha, nay, she did not. It was a close call, however."

"Oh, yer older than I expected." The man said bluntly to the shadow that made itself seen through the dust in front of him.

Once again the Dragon laughed, but now on its humanoid form -- it was a tall, black and old man, his beard treading over the ground in front of him -- as he approached the winner. "I should say 'watch your tongue', but alas, I have lost a fight against you once; I cannot fight again that soon."

The man scratched his head, fear finally creeping into his heart. He stuck his sword on the ground and approached the Earth Dragon while checking his pockets. He was looking down, afraid to hear the same answer he had been getting for the past seven years.

Feeling the young man's anxiety, the Earth Dragon simply shook his head and looked towards the purple barrier, far behind the human.

"So, uh, since you already know what this is all about..." The man started, finally raising his gaze to meet the dragon's. "Please... please, save Suzu!"

Unlike witches, dragons were born with feelings -- and theirs actually resonated with human's more easily. The weight of that young man's feelings; the intensity with which he begged to save the little girl's life... it all struck the Earth Dragon deeply. He grimaced and spared a glance at the sword before opening his mouth.

"I'm afraid there is only one way--"

"NO!!" The man yelled, covering both ears with his hands, his body instinctively hunching over. "DON'T... Just... don't say it!"

The Earth Dragon's lips trembled as he looked at how the man pitifully kneeled on the ground, his entire body shaking. From the side of his eyes, he could see when the sword evaporated into a thick smoke and flew to the man's side, now showing itself on its true form.

"You have had the answer alongside you all this time, have you not, young man?" The Earth Dragon mourned, looking at the witch standing beside him.

She had deep purple skin, and her hair and clothes were of such a deep black they couldn't be discerned from each other. Her once expressionless face now only weeped.

"It has... it HAS to have another way! It can't be just this..." The man clenched his fists and hit the ground with all of his strength.

Without taking his eyes off the witch, the Earth Dragon pursed his lips, his heart aching. "For someone so powerful to be known as The Void to be seen like this..." He whispered, his eyes looking into the bright purple iris of Devoid's, the black sclera of her eyes of such a depth that could suck a lesser man inside. "You shall be known as The Weeping Witch from now on."

Tears fell down tirelessly from Weeping's eyes, as they have been for the past seven years. "A fitting name," she agreed, her voice sounding despite her mouth staying shut.

She cried the tears her human did not, for his feelings were now hers. She hadn't stopped crying from the moment they were united, all those nights seven years ago.

The tears his heart shed every single day for his slumbering little sister.

Controlling his sorrow, the young man finally stopped trembling and reached out once again for his pocket -- to a dismantled map he had been using since the beginning of his journey.

He got up and handed it to the Earth Dragon, his jaw hard and his eyes escaping reality. "Anyway, mark here. Ya should know what, right? Ya gossiping pussies and all."

Suzu was far away, but he could almost feel the mental ear-pull for the curse word, but he ignored it. The Earth Dragon looked down from his tall height to the small human.

"Young man, you already--"

"JUST-- MARK IT!" The man yelled, looking away. "I won't give up. There has to have another way."

Once again the Earth Dragon looked at Weeping. Her tears streamed down in spite of her as she woefully looked at the human's back. "... Very well," the Dragon said, taking the map and using magic to mark a path on it to where they should go next.

For the past seven years, man, girl and witch had been challenging powerful magical beings -- to the point of such beings looking forward to the challenge and waiting in specific locations for them. The Earth Dragon was waiting for him after he had defeated the Water Siren. Now, the Dragon was marking one of his sibling's lair -- the Lightning Dragon's domain -- so the man could once again ask a single answerless question.

After the older man was finished, the young man snatched the paper away and turned his back to the Dragon, heading towards his sister.

"Young man," the Dragon called and the man stopped without turning away. "Might I ask what do you go by? Surely a human such as yourself was given a birth name."

He looked over his shoulder, his deep brown eyes without a single glint. "Hohoe. Though that's not my birth name." He said and went back on his way.

'Fleeting Smile', the Earth Dragon thought.

It was the name his little sister called him long ago -- the most precious person in her life, her beloved big brother, Hohoemaru.

[handsingsweapon]

How well do you think Yuuri of precious things understands the events that occurred in Victor's life to shape him into the person he is? he must have followed Victor's relationship with Saga, and maybe even heard rumors about previous dalliances? btw, love precious things so so so much!

this is such a great question! but it has kind of a downer answer unfortunately: yuuri is not well acquainted with the dark sides of victor's past experiences. what he knows he read in magazines and interviews, which were victor-sanitized narratives. those just reinforce the false victor picture that victor has been painting all these years ... the victor who exists on a pedastal - instead of victor growing up without his parents, yuuri sees victor's top notch training with yakov. yuuri has no idea saga cheated or that victor was a pretty inattentive boyfriend. there will be a lot of build to this effect in the next few chapters. the good news is his intuitive, emotional sense of what victor is really like is so much stronger than his intellectual knowledge of victor's past history. maybe more practically speaking, there's an incredible scene in the movie good will hunting where robin williams' character upbraids matt damon's genius: "do you really think i could learn what there is to know about you by reading a book?" when they do finally discuss all this stuff, post barcelona, he'll be in a much better place to form that whole picture. and then i think he'll see it all the clearer, if that makes sense!