#he's just genuinely a good guy and I love that for him

[tan1shere]

My Winner

Billie Eilish x female reader !

A/n: This is how we cope ladies and no gentlemen. Enjoy my loves <3

Summary: after the grammys, Billie finds a way to forget. But you find it hard. Knowing that nothings truly ok. (You'll see.)

Warnings: angst, but heavy on the comfort I promise <3 reader has anxiety so mentions of that

Tags: @trulyy-yourzz @eilishslut @chrissv4mp @n0vabug @dollyvuu @dollarbils @sweetcherriexs

^comment if you want to be added^

Masterlist

What an anxiety filled night. It was nearing the end. The grammys. You know, the big event that always either turns someone's life around or ruins it. You had been anxious all day, surprisingly Billie wasn't. She was so excited to just be there. Happy to be with you especially. But you knew as soon as you took your seats she was masking how anxious she was.

The red carpet was full of stars, full of heaps of people you didn't know either. There was always something about your anxiety, and ever since you had the hunch that your anxiety could always tell you if somethings up, you've been listening to that hunch heavily. Billie also knew of this, but you tried keeping extra quiet currently. If she knew you were anxious that'd set her into a complete state of worry. Knowing you seem to get this way when something is up later on. You couldn't let her get anxious about the night. You hold her hand, walking along as photographers took your photos.

You were next to Finneas and Claudia also, Finn spotting your anxiousness in seconds. You really thought you were hiding it better. He pokes your arm as an interviewer talks to Billie. "Hey whats up?" You look up at him. "What do you mean?" His brow raises. "I've known you for how many years now? Don't bullshit me what's up?" His hand rubs your arm, you grab it softly removing it. "I-" You sigh. "Ok, I'm really anxious for today, I have this odd feeling. I don't want her to see me like this though. She's enjoying herself and I'd like to keep it that way."

"Y/n." - "Please don't say anything." He's now the one to sigh. "Fine, but if she notices something is up, tell her. You know she always worries about you." You nod. "I know I know, just want her happy." He gives you a soft smile, kissing the top of your head. It was nice, he was always so brotherly towards you, you always wanted an older brother. "Like I told her, if we don't win anything it'll be ok." He pipes up. You were about to say, everything about the fact she deserves this though, she has a great right to earn this achievement. But you stay quiet, knowing he is right. You just want what's best for her. Knowing she's always so gracious.

She walks back over to you guys. "Hey, it's almost time to go, you ready?" You nod at her, giving her a smile. As she leads you out with such excitement, you look back at Finneas. He gives you a reassuring nod. Settling some nerves within you. Your mind talks as you get there, finding your seat and such. Telling yourself that this will all be ok. If it doesn't turn out good, you can be there for her. Give her encouragement, telling her she did amazing regardless- "Hello, earth to Y/n." She says standing infront of you. You snap out of your trance. "Hm?" She giggles at you. "Silly cutie." The name eases everything within you, looking into her eyes.

"I said here are our seats." She beams. You sit down, watching everyone else do so. "You excited to perform baby?" You smile sweetly at her. She smiles back. "Hell yeah. I mean a little bit nervous but this is honestly second nature to me now. I'm pumped." You could see how genuinely happy she was. It sooths everything you had previously been worried about.

But not for long, when they were up there singing your chest feels heavy, ignoring it like usual, even not in this situation you enjoy your girlfriends performance. But it doesn't go unnoticed by Claudia. "Babe, you alright?" You turn to her. Her comforting tone makes you let go for a moment. "Im still worried, I don't even know why I said in my mind whatever happens it'll be ok." She places her hand on your shoulder. "I think you're more worried about this than her." You lower your head. "I know." Sighing, but Claudia gets you to look at her. "And that's fine I hope you know, you care so much about her. It's really sweet." You felt teary. "I just want her growing more, this place can be a bit.. stingy." She laughs.

"Yep, don't we all know it." She goes to wipe one tear, but you stop her. "It's best if I get then out now so I won't- just in case of anything." The two if you share a laugh, it felt nice. Considering you usually talk to Billie about your anxiety. But that was off limits right now. You pay attention to her again, feeling calmer after your talk with Claud. Vibing to the music, less stressed. But now the roles were reversed. As the categories she was nominated for go on she seemingly is off, not as bubbly as before. But she puts up a front. "That's ok there's heaps more." You reassure her. She turns to you and smiles, wrapping an arm around you. "I'm so glad you're here." Your eyes flutter shut. "Glad I could be here baby." Her grip on you tightens a bit. And it makes you worried.

Nonetheless you push that down, you wanted to be strong for her. Be there for her. You rub her back going to sit back up as more people come to perform.

Billie was off taking some photos, you spotted her loosening up again, enjoying herself. You just thank whatever. Happy she's not as worried. You though, your anxiety was starting to come back. Little did you know it was all for a different reason. Because as soon as that last nomination comes round you didn't feel as worried, your anxiety was still present but it was for something you couldn't put your finger on. The last one was called and as they spoke, you immediately look at Billie, not hearing her name. Feeling devastated but ready to comfort. Your hand lands on her shoulder.

Noticing her eyes glaze over. You weren't expecting that to be quite honest. I mean sure upset, but it catches you off guard. You gently kiss her cheek. "You're amazing. You're my winner." And it's like she flips some sort of switch, smiling at you. But not saying a word. Odd. She claps like the rest, standing up, randomly seeming different from her state a few seconds ago. You saw it though, you knew she wasn't ok. The flip so fast, it couldn't possibly be all alright. The night ends and you all leave, getting in her car in silence. It was worrying you more. You go to speak but she does before you. "Let's go to Paris."

Your head turns towards her faster than anything. "Billie- what?" You were struck with confusion. "Let's go, get away. I know you've been talking about wanting to go for months, years even. Let's do it." You were at a loss of words. "Baby, you have tour this month, not to mention it's going to take us half a day to fly over there." She shrugs. "Yeah, but tours not until the 18th we have plenty of time." You had zero clue on what to say. "Billie-" You say concerned. She knew you were going to say something so she speaks. "Come onnn let's be spontaneous. Let's get out of here. We can go home and pack or I can just buy you whatever when we are there."

To say the least you were overwhelmed. Turning your head, looking infront of you as she drives. You tossed with the decision. Maybe it would be cool to get away. You suspected she didn't want to talk about anything tonight, so you'd leave it for a few days. "What do you say huh?" She seemed too pumped, it made your worries linger. "Yeah, sure. Let's do it." - "Yes! That's what I like to hear."

You had packed things that you'd need. But it wasn't distracting you from the events of tonight. Not like it is seeming to do with Billie. "Have you told Finn or Maggie and such yet?" She shakes her head. "Nope, it'll be fineee." That set your stomach on edge. No it wouldn't, you always kept in contact. "Better yet as soon as we get there lets put our phones on flight mode!" She goes to grab your zipped up suitcase. You let out a sigh. "Letsgooo." She says, heading for the door. "Baby." You then say, and she freezes. "Leave something?" She looks at you avoiding everything that leads to tonight. Talking, comforting. Crying.

Maybe she needed this, needed to forget, you keep to your word of doing so in a few days. "Nope, just wanted to say I love you." You smile. She comes over to kiss you. "I, love. You. Right to Paris we go!" This could potentially be fun now the moments sinked in, and you had been wanting to go for quite some time. You follow her out the door heading onto your travels.

Sitting and waiting for the flight, in a silence. Again. But it truthfully didn't last long, almost as if she didn't want to be left with her thoughts. "Ok, let's turn our phones off." You were a bit hesitant. But maybe that'll also make the trip more fun. Just with one another, enjoying the moment. You grab your phone going to do so, noticing she had posted a photo on her story of the airport. You decide to keep quiet, thinking on if this whole thing really was a good idea. You hand her your phone. "It's off." She smiles. "So is mine." You tap your your foot, moving your knee feeling that anxiety coming back. Oh. This is what your body was telling you earlier...

This.

It was 20 minutes away. You had taken a nap, had some food. Billie? None of that, they brought food around but she insisted on you having it. Making your heart tighten. Feeling so wrong still. Nor had she been asleep for all of those nearly 15 hours, staying up all day and night. It wasn't good. "Hey look at the sunshine." She points out the window. You turn your head, seeing it. Then everything floats past you. "Wow." You say amazed. You had always dreamed of coming here. It's just now set in that it's a reality. "That's, the Eiffel Tower!" You beam with excitement. "Sure is." It was beautiful. All the buildings. You smile contently.

When you land and get out, you're greeted by people with their beautiful accents. "bonjour!" Someone greets. You smile, having had practiced a tiny bit of French. "Salut!" They smile at you. "Wait you can speak French?" You nod. "Just a little. Told you this was my dream." You both smile at one another. "You're going to love our hotel room then! Looking right at the Eiffel Tower." You open your mouth. "A- wha- are you serious?" She nods, smiling more. "Oh my god!" And her plan was slowly working, not for too much longer when you figure it out though.

You arrive at the hotel, settling in. "This is breathtaking." You go out on the balcony. "Is this even real I feel like I'm in a movie." She comes out with you. "Very real my love." Then it strikes you on why she's doing this- But her mind was quicker than your own. "You see the tower there?" She points, making your mind distract as you look. "Got us a table at the restaurant there." You're shocked. "What?! How?" She smirks. "I have my ways." You laugh at her. "Say, why dont we go shopping just in time for tonight?" You nod, going to go for a pee.

She sighs a little. "Back on track." Her eyes wander off to the scenery, taking it all in.

Shopping was heaps of fun, all the pretty clothes, all the beautiful sights. But almost all of these were too expensive. "Maybe we could just-" Billie grabs the handful you were about to put back, putting it near the till. "Why don't you get those shoes you liked!" You stood there for a moment. "Billie.. Those are so much I-" "Nonsense, go go!" It took you a second to snap you out of, well honestly. None of this felt real. Then that heaviness returns to your chest. When you go to protest she had already paid for it. Shoes and all. "Baby I-" Her finger waves in your face.

The reality truly hit you. She was distracting you, she was avoiding everything. She goes to pick up the shoes heading out. You trot after her. "Can we-" "Oou let's go find a cute Cafe!" Your brows lift upwards, sewing together. Your worries were starting to fly right back. But she takes your hand as you go off to do whatever.

This was far from normal. You were getting ready, doing your makeup but you can't shake the feeling of the past 24+ hours. You felt like your mind was going to explode. You had to talk to her, you couldn't wait another day. You walk out of the bathroom, dress on and everything noticing she was dressed up to. You had nearly forgotten the topic that you wanted to discuss. "Uhm, babe?" You say, she turns around, jaw dropping. "Woah." You swallow. "Are you ready? You sure look it oh my god." You walk over to her. "Can we talk for a second?" She knew exactly what was about to come. "We don't want to be late, I made the reservation for 7." She goes to leave but you grab her arm.

"Baby-" She sighs. "I'm getting a bit peckish, are you?" She was avoiding it like the plague. You wait a moment. "Yeah, sure." She smiles, kissing your cheek. "Sweet!" And so it went on, you get to the beautiful and iconic tower, mesmerized. "Oh wow it's beautiful." She grabs your hand. "Not as beautiful as you." You stare lovingly in her eyes, such a romantic city, a forgetful one too apparently. Because just like that you were focusing on it more, finding yourself getting hungry.

The night goes on, it was peaceful. But your mind was not. There was a voice in the back telling you to just say something, but the other is battling it, saying you should enjoy this moment and the fact it doesn't happen very often. The food was delicious the view was unbelievable. Just for tonight.

It's now two days later. You cursed yourself at the fact you haven't tried talking about it. But that ends today, she needs to just let it out. You know it's hurting her deep down. The way she's handling it wasn't healthy. You were currently out getting a massage, 'her treat' which is basically been the moto this whole trip. You didn't want to waste it or seem ungrateful. But you had snatched your phone from her bag, you had to see if anyone texted. And surprise surprise they had. Maggie blowing up your calls. Finneas texting you non stop. Fuck. You regret it getting this far. You wanted to tell them but not until you talked to her first. Your finger moves to tiktok, watching all that was going down.

People saying that we've gone missing and that no ones heard from us. "Jesus." You whisper. "You alright my love?" The sweet French lady asks. How the hell did anyone even know so quick. "You're very tense." - "Yeah just- just some stuff going on right now. Sorry." She chuckles. "No need to apologize my dear. That's why you're here, to relax and be calm." You take in a deep breath, feeling her massage you further. You wish Billie was here with you, but she had been off for a run when you had woken up, seeing the little note and directions to come here. Then your eyes flutter shut and you soon fell into a peaceful slumber. One you hadn't had the night before. Due to all the tossing and turning.

Billie wasn't facing you but you knew she wasn't asleep. Fuck sake. You just can't not talk about this anymore. "Thank you, for the lovely massage." She nods gently. "Look after yourself mon amour." You give her a smile. "Merci." You reply politely. You head back, opening the hotel room to see her sitting there. "Oh you're back! How was it?" You plop your bag down. "Good but can we-" "On my run I saw this cute little wine tasting Vinyard ad, we can get a taxi and head out to it tonight! We could also stay-" You breathe slightly. "Billie-" "Or maybe that'd be too much we could stay there for the rest I know they can do-" "BILLIE!" You finally snap.

Silence.

Dead, fucking silence.

You stare at one another, and you go to speak. "Talk to me please." She averts your gaze. "I dunno what you want me to talk about." Your eyes look up, hating this weird behavior. "Billie you're frightening me. You've never done such a thing before." - "May want to elaborate." You just wanted her to let you in. "Stop shutting me out then and maybe I will!" More silence. "Please, I'm begging you lets just tal-" "I don't want to talk." She gets up but your body moves in her way. "No, you are. I'm done trying to forget, you need to let whatever this is out and this time you will not distract me." She had no. Emotion on her face. "Baby please." Your eyes were teary. "Let me help. Please." You start to sob quietly.

That's all you wanted to do, ever since that night. And there it is, her own sobs cascading down her cheeks. You nod. Proud to see it. She goes to you, hugging you, putting her head in your neck. You kiss her head over and over, trying to calm your heart down. "Its ok, I'm here. I promise." You hold her tight. "Let it in, it'll feel better afterwards." She sobs uncontrollably, having had it built up for days. "I'm so fucking sorry." You shake your head, getting her to look at you. "Don't, you didn't do anythin-" "I did, I went all fucking weird, took you here to forget, just move on. And that look on your face before fuck I'm so s-" This time you cut her off. Putting your hand over her mouth.

"Can I say something?" She nods. You go to wipe her tears. "Theres no need to apologize. If anything I'm sorry for not just doing this sooner, I thought you needed time then you'd come round. But I couldn't anymore. You were hurting and that was hurting me. I couldn't bear it any longer." She swallows. "Since I didn't get to say it then. I'll say it now. I am so fucking proud of you. You don't need some silly shiny award that honestly means nothing in the long run. You are amazing regardless." She hugs you tight. "I don't want to loose you." Your brows furrow. Confused. Then you realize why she's done all of this. She could've resulted to drinking but it was this cold outburst instead.

She was afraid she'd loose you over some silly award. You get her to look at you. "Is this why you took me here? To the place I always wanted to go buying me all this stuff?" She nods sheepishly. "Baby.." Your head shakes. "When did we meet." Now she was confused. "2015 ofcourse." You nod. "When did you first get recognized?" ... "2017 ish.." You hold her face. "I've loved you, as a friend, a partner way before any of this even happened. If that's what you're worried about, think again. Because you could loose all those trophys and I'd still be here. You matter more to me." You smile softly. "You're the only trophy I need." She says. You kiss her sweetly. "Soo, are you calling me a whore?" Her face panics making you giggle. "I'm teasing you baby." Her eyes roll.

"You're a doofus." "I'm your doofus and you're stuck with me." She smiles. "I can certainly live with that."

Everything felt clear. You two did stay in Paris for a few more days, this time with no worry in the world. Truly enjoying yourselves. That is after she texted her family back.

You sat out on the balcony, drinking your whine and her some bubbly water. The night air, cool but refreshing. "You know." She began. "There was a category I was nominated for that they didn't mention." You turn your head, utterly confused. "Having the best girlfriend." Your smile creeps on your face.

"And I fucking won."

:,) ugh cuteness.

[willowsnook]

an experiment (18+)

hey, could you write a story like the one you reposted of max ”popular“ but for lando? I absolutely loved the plot and never saw one like that before, but don’t feel pressured! thank you<3

A/N: Didn’t want to do the exact same plot but did the same kind of reporter x Lando vibe where they don’t like each other.

Lando Norris x Reporter!Reader

The media room was bustling with reporters, and your eyes were trained on Oscar Piastri as he answered the question you had just asked him, nodding along.

“So you’re not worried about team orders, then?” you asked to confirm, and he shot you a grin.

“We’re only 20 points apart, so no,” he replied, and you smiled, turning off your recorder. “Good to see you, Y/N. When are you coming to an overseas race?”

The other reporters around left as you stayed behind to talk to Oscar. “Not really sure. I’m mostly covering IndyCar this year. I’m only here today because our F1 beat reporter caught some kind of bug.”

You had covered F1 for ESPN last year and had a blast doing it, but the travel was a lot. When the chance came up to switch to IndyCar, you took it, wanting to stay in the U.S., where you were from. You did miss the F1 drivers, though. You had a good working relationship with all of them—well, except one.

You and Lando got off on the wrong foot last year, and things never really recovered. You asked him a simple question, and he bit your head off. Instead of folding, you challenged him and called him an asshole to his face, so things were a little testy after that.

You glanced up from your notes, keeping your expression neutral as Lando approached. “Norris.”

He sighed, barely looking at you. “Let’s just get this over with.”

You ignored his tone, pressing the record button. “You had a solid P2 in practice. Do you feel confident heading into qualifying, or are there still issues you need to address?”

Lando shrugged, crossing his arms. “Car’s fine. We’ll see what happens.”

You blinked, waiting for him to elaborate. When he didn’t, you pressed on. “McLaren has been closing the gap to Red Bull in recent races. Do you think this track gives you a real opportunity to challenge for the win?”

He exhaled sharply. “You lot love asking the same pointless questions every weekend, don’t you?”

You kept your voice even. “I’m asking because fans and analysts are genuinely curious about McLaren’s trajectory. If you’d rather not answer, I can move on.”

Lando let out a humorless laugh. “Right, because you’re just here for the ‘fans and analysts’—not to pick apart every word I say.”

Your grip on your pen tightened, but you refused to take the bait. “I’m here to report, Norris. What I’m not here to do is argue with you.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” he muttered.

You inhaled slowly, keeping your professionalism intact. “Alright. Final question—realistically, where do you see yourself finishing this weekend?”

Lando gave you a flat look. “Ahead of where you think I will.”

You held his gaze for a moment before calmly closing your notebook. “Noted. Thanks for your time.”

He scoffed. “Yeah. Sure.”

You watched as he walked off without another word, then sighed, shutting off your recorder. Interviews with Lando Norris were always a test of patience—but at least this time, you hadn’t given him the satisfaction of a reaction.

“Y/N!” You heard Carlos call out, and you instantly brightened. He was one of your favorites on the grid, and you truly missed him this season.

“Hi, Carlos,” you said, walking next to him as you were both leaving the pen. “How are you?”

“I’m good. How are you? Still beefing with Lando, I see,” he teased, and you rolled your eyes.

“He’s such a pain in the ass,” you muttered, and he let out a loud laugh.

“Please, the tension between the two of you—nothing like it,” he said, and you stopped short, giving him an incredulous look.

“What on earth are you talking about?” you asked, and he grinned.

“There are literally three different bets I know of on when you guys will get together,” he said, amused, and your eyes narrowed.

“I don’t even cover F1 races anymore,” you said.

He shrugged, holding the door open for you.

"That doesn't matter," Carlos said with a mischievous grin. "The sparks between you two are undeniable. Even from across the pond."

You scoffed, shaking your head. "You're delusional, Sainz. There's nothing between Lando and me except mutual disdain."

Carlos raised an eyebrow. "Is that so? Then why does he always ask about you when you're not around?"

You froze mid-step, turning to face him. "He... what?"

"Oh, yes," Carlos nodded, clearly enjoying this. "He tries to be subtle about it, but we all notice. 'Has anyone heard from Y/N?' 'Is Y/N covering this race?' It's quite amusing, actually."

You were about to argue when you caught sight of Lando across the paddock, talking to his race engineer. For a brief moment, his eyes met yours, and you felt a simmer of the electricity Carlos was talking about. Lando looked from you to Carlos and frowned, looking away.

“Whatever, Carlos. I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said, dismissing him as you headed to where your car was, thinking about what he said.

Lando was an asshole to you. That was a fact. But there were things that were off: he always took your questions first, his eyes lingered on you from across the room—almost always—and you could tell how irritated he was anytime you were talking casually with another driver.

Pair that with the fact that your boss had asked if you wanted to be moved last season to cover a different team, to which you replied no because there was just something so exciting about getting under his skin. You always had a thing for guys like him, and it didn’t really help that he was as hot as he was.

You were still irritated as you got back to your apartment and quickly texted your group chat, begging to have a girls' night out. Luckily, most of your friends were free, and one of them snagged a last-minute reservation at a place nearby.

A couple of hours later, you were two drinks in, laughing about one of your friend’s most recent Hinge horror stories. Smiling, your eyes wandered around the room, landing on a very familiar mullet.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” you muttered, and your friends looked at you and then over to where you were looking. Grace was the first to laugh.

“You two are truly like magnets. Carlos was right,” she said. You shot her a pointed look. They all knew about your disdain for Lando, and you had told them what Carlos had said, hoping they’d back you up about it being ridiculous, but they had all agreed with him.

At the attention of all your friends, Lando’s friends looked over at the table, some of them smiling widely when they recognized you. It didn’t take long for one of them to come sauntering over.

“Hey, ladies,” he said. “We’re about to wrap up and would love if you guys joined us at the next bar.”

“No,” you said at the same time that your friends said, “Yes.” You groaned, putting your head into your hands.

After paying your bill, you reluctantly followed your friends out and to the next bar. Lando and his friends were hanging out on the patio, and they were excited to see your group make it. Lando smiled at all your friends, introducing himself, but then narrowed his eyes when he got to you. You rolled your eyes, muttering that you needed a drink, and walked off.

You leaned against the bar, waiting for the bartender's attention. The night air was cool on your skin, a welcome relief from the stuffy atmosphere inside. You couldn't believe your luck—or lack thereof. Of all the places in the city, Lando and his crew had to end up at the same spot as you and your friends.

"Fancy seeing you here," a familiar voice said behind you. You didn’t need to turn around to know it was Lando.

"I could say the same to you," you replied, keeping your eyes on the bartender. "Shouldn't you be resting up for qualifying tomorrow?"

Lando moved to stand beside you, effortlessly flagging down the bartender. "I could ask you the same thing. Aren’t you supposed to be covering the race?"

You finally turned to face him, crossing your arms. "I'm allowed to have a life outside of my job."

"So am I," he said, mirroring you.

"You sure about that?" you asked, tilting your head. "Because the way you act, it seems like your entire personality revolves around racing and being a pain in my ass."

Lando chuckled, shaking his head as he took a sip of his drink. "You love it, though."

You scoffed. "I tolerate it."

He stepped closer, just enough that you could feel the warmth of his body in the cool night air. "You tolerate me? Interesting. Because from where I’m standing, you go out of your way to get under my skin."

You arched a brow. "Funny, I was about to say the same about you."

Lando’s gaze flickered to your lips for a fraction of a second before meeting your eyes again. "Maybe we just enjoy the game too much."

You refused to be the first to look away. "Or maybe you just hate that I don’t fall for your usual charm."

His smirk deepened. "Who said I was trying to charm you?"

"Oh, please," you scoffed, taking a slow sip of your drink. "The lingering stares? The petty jabs? The way you just so happened to end up at the same bar as me tonight?"

Lando leaned in, his voice dropping just enough to send a shiver down your spine. "Maybe I just like watching you get all worked up."

You swallowed hard, suddenly too aware of the way your pulse quickened. "Keep dreaming, Norris."

He smirked, stepping back just enough to let you breathe but not enough to break the tension crackling between you. "Sweet dreams, then, Y/N."

And just like that, he walked away. But before he could get far, you yanked his arm to turn him around and crashed your lips against his.

The kiss was electric, a charged collision of all the tension that had been building between you for months. Lando's surprise quickly melted away as he responded with equal fervor, his hands finding your waist and pulling you closer. The world around you blurred as you lost yourself in the sensation of his lips moving against yours.

When you finally broke apart, both slightly breathless, you found yourselves staring at each other with a mix of shock and desire. The background noise of the bar slowly filtered back in, reminding you of where you were.

"Well," Lando said, his voice husky. "That was..."

"A mistake," you finished, even as your body screamed otherwise. You took a step back, trying to regain your composure. "An experiment."

"An experiment," he repeated. "And what exactly was the hypothesis?"

"I’m shocked you know that word," you said, avoiding the question.

"Y/N," he warned.

"A mutual friend hypothesized that the way we act toward each other was because of something other than hatred," you admitted, thankful that you were on drink number four now.

"And the conclusion?" he asked, tipping his head curiously.

"Inconclusive," you said, and his eyes flickered back down to your lips for a second.

"Probably need more testing," he said darkly, and your pulse quickened.

"Probably," you agreed, not breaking eye contact.

"Let’s go," he said, grabbing your hand and pulling you toward the exit.

"I just got my drink," you complained, but made no move to stop him.

His hotel was only a couple of blocks away. That was the only thing he said the whole walk over, but his hand gripped yours tightly.

By the time you made it to his floor, his pace quickened, like he didn’t want to give you a chance to change your mind. The door opened, then closed, and suddenly you were pressed against it, his lips on your neck.

It lasted a minute before you gripped his hair, yanking his head back so you could press your lips against his.

The kiss was rough and demanding, both of you fighting each other with something other than words this time. He tugged at the bottom of your shirt, and you lifted it up, watching his eyes widen at your bare chest.

Lando's eyes darkened with desire as he took in the sight of you. His hands skimmed up your sides, leaving goosebumps in their wake. You shivered under his touch, your breath catching in your throat.

"God, you're beautiful," he murmured, his voice low and husky.

You rolled your eyes, trying to maintain some semblance of your usual dynamic. "Shut up and kiss me, Norris."

He smirked, clearly enjoying your impatience. "So demanding," he teased, but obliged, capturing your lips in another searing kiss.

Your hands roamed his body, tugging at his shirt until he broke the kiss just long enough to pull it over his head. The feeling of skin on skin was intoxicating, and you couldn't help the small moan that escaped you as he pressed you further against the door.

His hands trailed down from your waist, past the loose band of your pants and under your panties. He lightly traced over your clit before moving to where you wanted him. 

“So wet baby, are you sure you hate me?” He teased as you moaned out. 

“Positive,” you got out before he slipped a finger inside, finding your g-spot and massaging it. 

Your head fell back against the door as Lando worked his fingers inside you, his thumb circling your clit with maddening precision. But you weren't about to let him have all the control. With a sudden surge of strength, you pushed off the door, forcing him to stumble backwards towards the bed.

"My turn," you growled, shoving him onto the mattress. Lando's eyes widened in surprise, but the smirk never left his face as you straddled him.

"Thought you hated me," he teased, his hands gripping your hips.

You ground down against him, relishing the groan that escaped his lips. "I do," you breathed. "This is simply an experiment."

Your fingers made quick work of his belt and zipper, freeing his hardening length. Lando hissed as you wrapped your hand around him, pumping slowly up and down. 

“Don’t tease,” he grumbled and you smiled wickedly at him, swiping your thumb over his head causing him to whimper. The noise took you both by surprise and you knew he was embarrassed. 

“I thought you hated me,” you threw his own words back at him. “But it sounds like you don’t.”

He started to argue back but you quickly shifted your hips, slowly sinking down on top of him. 

You both gasped as you fully pushed him inside you, the sensation overwhelming. For a moment, you stayed still, adjusting to the feel of him stretching you. Lando's hands tightened on your hips, his eyes dark with desire as he looked up at you.

"Fuck, y/n," he breathed, voice strained. "You feel amazing."

Instead of responding, you began to move, setting a slow, torturous pace. Lando's head fell back against the pillows, a low moan escaping him. You couldn't help but feel a sense of triumph at reducing him to this state.

"Look at me," you commanded, voice husky. His eyes snapped to yours, pupils blown wide. "I want you to see exactly who's making you feel this good."

Lando's lips curled into a smirk, even as his breathing grew ragged. His fingers dug harshly into your waist and he started to move you faster against him and you groaned out. 

Lando suddenly sat up, wrapping his arms around you and flipping you onto your back in one fluid motion. The change in position drove him even deeper inside you, eliciting a gasp of pleasure. His eyes locked onto yours, blazing with intensity.

"My turn," he growled, echoing your earlier words.

He hooked one of your legs over his shoulder, the new angle allowing him to hit spots that made you see stars. His thrusts were deep and purposeful, each one drawing out a moan or whimper from your lips. You clutched at his back, nails digging into his skin as the pleasure built.

Lando's lips found your neck, kissing and nipping at the sensitive skin there. The dual sensation of his mouth on your throat and his cock inside you was almost too much to bear. You arched your back, pressing your chest against his as he continued his assault on your pussy. 

"God, you feel incredible," he panted, his rhythm faltering slightly as he fought to maintain control. "So tight, so perfect for me."

Your back arched off the bed as he hit a deeper angle and your climax crashed over you. He sounded animalistic as his own release was triggered, spilling into you. 

The two of you breathed heavily for a moment looking at each other. Finally you pushed yourself off the bed and headed into the bathroom to pee and clean yourself off. When you returned, Lando was leaning against he headboard watching you as you put your clothes back on. 

“Leaving?” He asked.

“Yes,” you replied, finally looking at him. “This was just an experiment remember, it wasn’t real.”

“I remember,” he said, still watching. “You could stay.”

“I have never in my life stayed over for a one night stand,” you said. You don’t know why you told him that, he didn’t need to know anything about your personal life. 

“Are you serious?” He asked, shocked. 

“Very.” 

Lando's eyes widened at your admission. "Never? Not even once?"

You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant as you slipped on your shoes. "Never saw the point. It's called a one-night stand for a reason."

He sat up straighter, the sheet pooling around his waist. "But what about... I don't know, cuddling? Or morning sex?"

You couldn't help but laugh. "Cuddling? With you? Please."

"Hey, I'll have you know I'm an excellent cuddler," he protested, a hint of a smile playing at his lips.

You rolled your eyes, but found yourself hesitating by the door. "Look, Norris, this was... satisfying. But let's not make it more than it was."

Lando's expression sobered. "And what exactly was it, y/n.”

“An experiment,” you said again, leaving before he had a chance to ask what the result was. 

[bloomstream]

omg hii bloom!! i love your works so much so can i request

headcannons 4 mha boys /w their cheerleader girlfriend !!

⋆˚࿔ cheer fever

synopsis: being the mha boys cheer captain girlfriend! (,,>﹏<,,)

— includes: kirishima + kaminari + sero (in that order)

𓂃　♪　𓈒 cw: f!reader, fluff, established relationship

𓂃　★ 𓈒 a/n: wait i love this request too it’s so wholesome. no shinsou this time cus i can’t envision him here, sorry 😓

⋆˚࿔ e.kirishima

eijiro is your sweet jock boyfriend, making you the typical football player x cheerleader couple.

following this trope; your boyfriend is so obsessed with seeing you in his variety jacket. literally gets cuteness aggression and pinches your cheeks.

eijiro LOVES when you’re in your cheer uniform. everytime time he sees you in it he fumbles over his words trying to explain how good you look!

he gets so flustered when he sees you cheering for him on the sidelines. it gives him so much motivation knowing your cheering for him.

after a game he runs straight to you and spins you around, kissing you alllll over. “we did it!” he believes you give him all the strength he had to play (you do).

walks you home after cheer practice.

one time you got him flowers to celebrate his last game of the season. when he saw them, he cried because he got you flowers too! the biggest sweetheart ever.

half of his post on social media are of the both of you after games! he always posts on his story letting people know that his team will be playing and that you’ll be cheering as well. he’s so supportive.

⋆˚࿔ d.kaminari

denki is a loser, everyone knows. so everyone is also confused on how he bagged the most attractive cheerleader in the school.

he brags to EVERYONE about you, it’s a bit embarrassing, but still charming.. “oh yeah, my girlfriend!? she’s the cheer captain!” (no one asked)

forces his friends to come to games so they can help him support you. he’d bring a huge sign with glitter and your name spelt with macaroni while screaming “that’s my girlfriend!!”

still a flirty dork; “need help with your stretching exercises?” randomly asks you to do flips and splits because he genuinely thinks it’s cool.

tried to learn how to braid hair so he can do your game day hair, but he’s not very good at it </3 still, he helps apply your glitter and lipgloss.

no need to hire a photographer because denki will take an album full of photos of you when you're cheering.

after games he gives you a big hug and kisses the crown of your head. “another amazing job, you never miss.” he’ll also take you shopping after special occasions.

+ wore your cheer uniform as a joke once but ended up really liking it on himself.

⋆˚࿔ h.sero

chill boyfriend x cheerleader girlfriend: you guys are a power couple.

hanta was kind oblivious about cheer at first so he does a lot of research to make sure he’s supporting you properly. and he does it every time; chocolates, flowers, and small gifts.

when you tell him he had the body and muscle to be a cheerleader (mostly joking) he freaks and offers to help you practice. he quickly becomes your spot when you're practicing at home!

hanta is obsessed with hearing the drama going on between you and your cheer team, “no way she said that! seriously, she needs to pick a struggle.”

carries all your makeup and equipment wherever you need it.

fixes your bow/skirt and gives you a big smooch before each game. if he notices that you’re nervous before a performance he’ll give you the silliest pep talk to make you laugh. “go out there and show them what you got, yeah?”

when you’re studying together, he’ll beg you to ‘cheer’ him on. sometimes you decide to give him that pleasure just to see that wide grin on his face.

[ariays]

What makes Minho a unique teen romance male lead:

1. He’s the “Mean but Not Malicious” Type

A lot of teen series have the classic bad boy male lead who’s brooding, mysterious, and sometimes outright toxic (cough Nate Jacobs from Euphoria or Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl). But Minho? He’s different.

Yes, he starts off snarky and arrogant, but he’s never cruel. His “mean” moments are more about sass, self-confidence, and playful teasing rather than being manipulative or emotionally unavailable. He’s that guy who thinks he’s all that—but is actually really soft underneath it all.

2. He’s a Himbo, But a Smart One

Minho gives off major himbo energy—he’s rich, ridiculously good-looking, and very aware of it. But unlike a lot of stereotypical “dumb jocks” in teen dramas (think Reggie from Riverdale), Minho actually has depth. He has goals, he cares about his friends, and despite his superficial exterior, he’s pretty emotionally perceptive—especially when it comes to Kitty.

3. His Character Growth Feels Earned

Some male leads in teen series tend to change too quickly once they develop feelings for the female lead. (Looking at you, Hardin from After). But Minho’s growth is gradual and believable. He doesn’t just flip a switch from “annoying rich boy” to “perfect boyfriend material.” Instead, his feelings for Kitty creep up on him, and you can see the shift in how he interacts with her.

He still teases her, but it becomes more affectionate. He still acts cocky, but you start noticing those small, vulnerable moments—like the Chuseok kitchen scene—where he actually lets his guard down.

4. He’s Unapologetically Dramatic

Minho is extra in a way that most teen drama male leads aren’t. He’s not just confident—he’s theatrical. From his grand entrances to his over-the-top reactions, he brings a comedic flair that makes him entertaining without making him a joke.

A lot of teen drama male leads tend to be serious, broody, or deeply angsty. Minho, on the other hand, brings comedic energy while still being emotionally compelling.

5. He’s Stylish & Unapologetically Metrosexual

Unlike the usual rugged, broody, or athletic male leads in teen series (think Nate from Euphoria or Conrad from The Summer I Turned Pretty), Minho embraces fashion, skincare, and self-care in a way that isn’t played off as a joke.

A lot of male leads in Western teen dramas either: ✔ Stick to basic, "masculine" fashion (hoodies, leather jackets, plain tees) ✔ Look effortlessly disheveled (the whole ‘hot but doesn’t care’ aesthetic) ✔ Avoid anything remotely “feminine” to maintain their "tough" image

Minho, on the other hand, is deliberately put together. He’s well-groomed, he cares about his appearance, and he fully owns it. From his tailored fits to his expensive skincare routine, he has a level of self-awareness and confidence that makes him unique. Instead of needing to be macho, he leans into a softer masculinity, which is refreshing.

6. He’s Not the Broody, Emotionally-Closed-Off Male Lead

Most classic teen romance male leads fall into one of these categories:

The dark, brooding, emotionally unavailable love interest (Conrad from TSITP, Hardin from After)

The soft, nerdy best friend who secretly loves the female lead (Ben from Never Have I Ever)

The overprotective, jock-type boyfriend (Noah from The Kissing Booth)

Minho doesn’t fit into any of these boxes. Yes, he starts off as a bit of a snarky, rich-boy, but he’s not emotionally closed-off. He expresses himself, he reacts dramatically, and he’s not afraid to show his feelings, whether it’s through humor, frustration, or genuine care.

His emotional openness, combined with his flair for the dramatic, makes him feel more alive compared to brooding, silent male leads who struggle to express affection.

7. He Exudes Non-Traditional Masculinity

Most male leads in teen dramas stick to a traditionally masculine aesthetic—either super muscular (Noah from The Kissing Booth) or effortlessly scruffy and rebellious (JJ from Outer Banks). Even the ones who are more “soft boy” (like Josh from To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before) tend to be written in a way that contrasts them against a tougher male lead.

Minho, however, balances both masculine and non-masculine traits in a way that makes him unique: ✔ He’s confident, but not aggressively dominant. ✔ He’s fashionable and expressive, but not reduced to a stereotype. ✔ He’s attractive, but not in the rugged bad boy way—his appeal comes from his charisma, playfulness, and charm.

His character doesn’t need to be hyper-masculine to be desirable, which is a refreshing departure from traditional male leads. He’s proof that a guy can be well-dressed, expressive, and a little flamboyant while still being a compelling love interest.

8. He’s Secure in Himself (Without Trying to Prove Anything)

Minho never tries to “prove” his masculinity. A lot of teen male leads are obsessed with dominance—whether it’s through fighting, being emotionally unavailable, or acting like they don’t care about anything.

But Minho? He doesn’t need to do that. He’s secure in himself. He knows he’s attractive. He knows he’s stylish. And he owns it. He can be extra, dramatic, and funny, but it doesn’t make him any less confident or appealing.

This is what makes him stand out from the usual teen romance male lead—he doesn’t fall into outdated ideas of what it means to be a man. He’s just him, and that’s enough.

[dis-plus-fanfic-reblog-writes]

A/N: I was asked for more, so I am attempting. I’ve never written anything like this. I just love the idea of dad bod Logan…or muscular, fit body of Logan’s with a tummy or a decent gut. It’d be cute. Don’t judge me.

One evening when the guys returned from a merc job, Logan goes to the bedroom to get a change of clothes while still in his suit. He can wear an outfit under it rather comfortably but this time, he noticed his suit was tight in the middle. He went into the bathroom and looked at his profile where he got his confirmation that he had a tummy. He began to strip out of his suit and kept checking himself out in the mirror, not liking what he finds. Once he pulls off his tank top, he sees that it isn’t really a gut, just pudge. Just a layer of fat on his otherwise muscular form from eating three meals a day. He wonders if he should go back to alcohol and one meal a day. He shook his head since he feels better, feels healthier, and can tell what he is doing is good for him. He has more energy and much better alertness but he doesn’t like the pooch at all. He decides to go back to one meal a day while keeping the alcohol down and just making sure to drink water instead. He can do this.

What Logan doesn’t expect when he makes this decision is how Wade acts.

Three days later after Logan has returned to eating one meal a day, Wade immediately notices the change and doesn’t like it. By the second day, he decides to eat out at places he knows Logan likes but the man refuses saying he isn’t hungry. Wade knows he is lying. The man eats like him due to maintaining his healing factor.

At day three, Wade decides to pull out the stops, he wakes early to go to that bakery Logan loves their pastry to get him a dozen with half of it solely for Logan. The man glares at Wade over his black coffee and again claims he isn’t hungry.

Now, it is the morning of day four and Logan is having his black coffee and reading the newspaper.

“So, grandpa, how’s the crossword going?” Wade asks.

Logan sips his coffee and grunts. He sets the cup down and turns the page.

“Got the funnies? I’d love to see what that stupid orange cat is doing to Jon today. “ Wade sips his khaki color coffee full of sugar and creamer.

“No, this doesn’t have funnies,” Logan explains.

“Damn. I was hoping to see what that Valiant knight was up to too. Any sudoku?” Wade pokes again.

Logan quietly rumbles as he flips through the pages and removes the pages the sudoku is on before nearly slamming it down in front of Wade. “Is there anything else you need, princess, before I go back to quietly reading the paper?”

“Actually, yes,” confirms Wade.

Logan sets the paper down and gives Wade his undivided attention.

“Why aren’t you eat? You barely have one meal a day. What changed, peanut?” Wade’s eyes are lidded and he’s frowning. Logan can smell his genuine concern. Not wanting to admit the worry, as superficial as it may sound, he shrugs. “Just haven’t been hungry for some reason.”

“I smell bullshit, Wolvie, and you know it,” argues Wade. “I don’t understand why you’d limit yourself when you’re looking great.” Logan snorts at that but Wade continues, “You seem to have more energy, are seemingly happier, and haven’t even wanted to drink more than a few beers daily. I mean, you’ve been going on jobs with me which is always a blast when you come. What could be so important that you cut back on food of all things?”

Logan mumbles an answer that Wade doesn’t hear.

“I’m sorry, honey badger, could you say that for the whole class to hear?” Wade pushes.

“My suit’s tight,” Logan barely whispers as his ears pinken.

“Your suit’s tight?” Wade’s eyes incredulously asks. Logan refuses to make eye contact and stares at the table.

“Yeah, ok?! I need to lose some weight,” Logan rumbles angrily.

Wade leans back and relaxes his body, trying to seem as non-threatening to the upset beastly of the man who has his heart. “I do sew, Logan. Why don’t you let me help you out with this?”

Logan snorts and shakes his head. “Even I know letting clothes out, let alone this suit, is challenging without matching…everything,” he acknowledges. Wade is surprised Logan understands the complexities of sewing.

“True, but I know how to get matching material and where ,” Wade grins, haughtily.

Tag: @asgardiansofthegalaxyvol3

Logan moving in with Wade and gaining weight because not only is he eating three square meals a day, but he also picked up baking because both Al and Wade have a sweet tooth, and of course the sweets are there, he’s going to eat them too. But now he’s getting kind of chubby. Which isn’t a problem really. He looks healthier than he has in decades. Except…

Wade stopped flirting with him. Straight up just stopped. And yeah Logan’s been ignoring it right along because he knows Wade isn’t actually serious about it, but it was still kind of nice to be wanted. Especially since he came from a reality where he was literally the most hated man alive. And of course now he has actual feelings for Wade, he wants the option to be there.

So he decides to not only start going to the gym but also to stop eating. And of course Wade notices and has to sit him down and ask what’s up, he’s been super healthy lately why is he changing that

And Logan can’t admit why he’s doing it so he deflects. “So going to the gym isn’t healthy?”

“You practically live there now. You’re a certified gym rat. You’re overworked and underfed. THAT isn’t healthy.”

And they go back and forth until Logan finally admits it’s because he gained weight and doesn’t feel attractive anymore. “Hell, you don’t even flirt with me anymore and I’ve seen you hit on inanimate objects before.”

And Wade stares at him for like 10 full seconds before he busts out laughing, like genuinely knee slapping chuckle fest because, “You think I stopped flirting with you because I’m shallow??? You honestly think I look like a burn victims even uglier ball sack and I’m being picky with how someone else looks?”

Logan tries to shrug it off with a “Everyone has preferences.”

“Trust me, Peanut, it isn’t that.”

“So then what is it?”

And now it’s Wade’s turn to be defensive until he realizes their conversation is just going in circles and Logan won’t stop destroying his body until he comes clean. So he has to stare at the wall as he tells Logan that it isn’t that he’s not attracted to Logan’s body anymore, it’s that he’s hyper attracted to it now, that he looks so healthy, so well fed, so inadvertently loved, and that it’s a reminder of all the domesticity of their situation that he’s actually fallen in love and can’t trust himself to casually flirt with Logan anymore because he’s genuinely afraid he’s going to do something and ruin their friendship now.

And they make out sloppy style and confess their love to each other of course

[hotchnersangel]

The Manuscript.

Aaron Hotchner

a/n; hey so i hate myself after this bc my heart hurtssssssss. Oh my god i cant breathe why have i done that ouch

warnings; implications of sex, heartbreak, age gap, light mentions of eating struggles, emotional hotch

---------------------

You and Aaron had a loving and happy relationship for the most part, no, for the whole part. You always felt safe with him, content when in his arms and no matter what was going on, you knew that it would be okay because you had Aaron, but... now you didn't. You no longer had him and that was the issue, the root of your internal pain- the feeling of claustrophobia as you're trapped within your own body, being suffocated and closed in on very slowly and agonisingly.

Your relationship had happened hard and fast. One day he was your boss, the next you were entwined in his arms and suddenly all you knew was him. Now and then you re-read the manuscript of your relationship. A silly, stupid, gutwrenching piece of paper displayed with your handwriting. The only place the two of you were still together.

The concept seemed silly now but the two of you promised to write out letters to one another on extremely special occasions. It held a greater sentiment than leaving a message when it was handwritten. You had only one but that one manuscript was the bane of your existence, drawing you in like a moth to the flame. It was enough to sentence you to a life imposing as a lamb to slaughter, at his hand. You hated how he always had an effect on you, even after all these years, he was always your because. The manuscript in question? His hand written confession of love. You scoff looking over the paper, tracing your finger over the ink scrawling and silently curse Aaron Hotchner and his utter romantic mind.

'I'm not a donor but I'd give you my heart if you needed it.'

A sentence that haunted the ghost of who she had become.

It had been a very long and passionate night between the two of you. Let's just say age had not effected you man's ability to perform when it came to you. Over and over and over. You were laying in bed besides him, tracing his cheek with the pad of your fingertips, memorising the features of his face. "I don't know what I prefer, being given the opportunity to be this intimate with you... or being able to talk to you about anything and know you still care." "You don't have to prefer one or the other," you reply with a smile, kissing his nose. "You will always have both." "Don't say things like that uness you want to be pushing our baby's stroller," he jokes with a loving smile and you laugh. Your pretty sure your heart just burst with love and adoration for this man.

But, soon it was over.

The reason he broke up with you was 'simple', because of you age gap, he deemed it to be inappropriate. Sure, you were in your late twenties and he may be in his fourties but it had never been a problem to him before.

In the age of him you wished you were thirty, if it meant that much to him. Just a few more years and it would have been fine. You wouldn't have lost the love of your life. Your soulmate, your person. Because that's what he was. He understood you, he accepted you and most importantly- he loved you.

You had dreams while in the relationship and post-relationship about making coffee every morning before work in his fancy new french press. Coffee was a huge part of your job enrichment so to start with a genuinely good coffee was always a reason to smile that day. Though, your favourite part of that damn french press was the coffee scented kisses. Every morning before you got in the car, Aaron made sure to kiss you with every ounce of love he had for you, no matter if you were both running late or urgently called out, he never forgot. The kisses tasted like him, it's strange how the smell and taste coffee could be so distinct to a person; to the point where it takes over all of your senses. You haven't drank coffee since you guys broke up.

After the breakup, you went back home to England to stay with your parents. You never understood how much a breakup could effect you until you stayed in bed all day, not even your own, your mother's bed. She held you as you cried for days on end, trying to coerce you back into an everyday routine once again but soon giving up because she knew it would not work. She regularly brought you a bowl of cereal, trying to get you to eat something. Though, you rarely ate it, especially in the first few days.

"It was your favourite when you were little, I thought maybe some nostalgia could help." Your mom explained with a soft smile, holding you like you were still a baby, because you would always be her aby and all she wanted to do was protect you.

Eventually you started dating again, this time a boy who was your own age. Though, you couldn't help but compare him to your Aaron. This boy was immature, didn't know what he wanted and cared only about parties. A bad choice, you knew that not all boys your age care about so little but they would never compare to Aaron. A man who wrote you a handwritten confession of love and kissed you so gently like you were soon to be framed in an art gallery.

He often told you that you were wise beyond your years which you accepted as a compliment. You had to mature sooner, with the actions of your irresponsible father, you were forced to learn to live without him in your life. Maybe that's part of the initial appeal to Aaron.

Years ad passed since your breakup and life no longer felt real, maybe you over-depended on Aaron but it was far from unhealthy. Your life felt like a cruel drama you watch on an occasional weekend. In the time apart, you went to university back in England, studying a psychology masters with hopes of diverting from police work into psychological fields. But goddamn, everything reminded you of him.

The professor had told us that looking backwards may be the only way to move forward in life, not appealing to us, but to the degree, though it played at your heartstrings and you knew what you had to do.

You booked a flight out to Quantico, Virginia as soon as you could. The plane ride was like a death trap for you. A feeling of distraught ripping at your insides, something that had never truly gone away these past years. Suddenly you wonder if he had been feeling the same these past years. They say water holds memories so when the tears stream down your face with adamant precision, you knew that you were about to rip open a half stitched wound.

The sheet of paper was the only thing you brought with you.

You started to get nervous at seeing him again for the first time in many of years and hopefully, it was the last. Hopefully the dreams would stop, the reminders would stop and you will be okay again.

You walk into the FBI building, the security still recognising you and letting you through the building and you press level 6 when you get into the elevator, for the very last time. You exist the elevator and look into the familiar building, seeing the team in the bullpen as you walk through. Emily looks up and catches your eye, immediately shocked to see you. A ghost of her unit chief's past.

"Hello you- what are you doing here?" She smiles and pulls you into a hug dragging everyones attention. Soon they all swaddle you in hugs and welcomes.

"I'm not here for long, I just came to... drop something off." You say with a flat mouth and you know damn well they can see the effect it is having on you.

"Do you want one of us to give it to him?" JJ asks kindly, placing her hand on your shoulder, offering a polite smile.

In reality they can all see that you had yet to heal from your breakup, you still looked exhausted, you looked hollow. Like a part was taken from you and it seemed all too familiar to them because you looked like Aaron, maybe even in a better condition than him.

"No, I want to seee his one last time." You say simply and point up the stairs. "is he up there?"

They nod and so you knock on the door and open it, your heart shattering at the sight of him. He was far from looking after himself, you knew him enough to tell despite him looking professional. He looks up from his work load and stares at you, his mouth falling into an 'o'.

"What..."

You shake your head, "Aaron, hi." you breathe out softly, a huge weight on your shoulders.

"Hi... please come in." You do but you don't sit.

"I'm here to give-"

"How've you-"

You both overlap one another, letting out a soft sigh with a smile.

"How've you been?" His eyes are glassy, probably from how he was rubbing them to see if you were really stood infront of him or not.

"Fine."

"How's London?" He asks again, softer this time.

"Good. I needed my mom."

"Yes." He nods and looks at you longingy. The silence is thick.

"I- I came to return this." You say softly, handing over the sheets of handwritten paper. "I think it is inappropriate to keep considering our circumstances."

He takes the sheet, his finger brushing against yours and you feel your heart shatter in your chest. Tears burned your eyes and you handed him it and he took it, opening it to see if it was true. He looked at the paper and visibly frowned, tears mimicing yours in his eyes. "You're giving it back? You flew here to...give it back?"

"The only thing that is left in us healing is the manuscript-"

"Oh," he wipes his eyes, not even hiding his feelings. "Can I hug you?"

You nod, knowing this is the last time you will get to experience this again. "Take it as my last souvenir from my trip to your shores." You laugh through tears, holding onto him like it was the last thing you will ever do.

You cry into each others arms, holding one another so tightly. "I re-read that so many times and i realised... the story isn't mine anymore."

[tkomptgoedluv]

girl with one eye.

icantbelieveiletyougetaway pt.4

pt.1 here | pt.2 here | pt.3 here | pt.4

joost klein x f! reader

tags: dead dove do not eat, f! reader, non-famous! reader, reader is finally seeing a therapist, established relationship, they’re so so in love i wanna cry, reader just wants a good night sleep, joost just wants to help, a loootttttt of hurt, maybe too much of comfort, all characters are dutch and speak in dutch but dialogue is written in english for obvious reasons.

word count: 2,833.

warnings: very detailed descriptions of SA, very brief allusion to drugging, semi-vague descriptions of a panic attack, rpf.

notes: hello angels! this is veryyyyy overdue but it’s finally here! the ending is a little rushed and i’ve only half-proofread it so please forgive me for any errors. also — this part comes with a MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING for those of you that struggle with SA, please do not put yourself at risk by reading if it’s not meant for you!

on a happier note, i’d like to give credits to @spentandpent for drawing that first image of joost in my little header thingy. their fan-art kinda inspired this whole part <3

also i wanna shoutout @howisjoostfanfictionforfree simply because sloane is one of my favourite people on this whole entire app, and she’s been so so supportive of me since my very first fic post. i ♥️ you, sloane my bbyg xx

── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ──

you wanted to kick yourself.

genuinely, you felt a little sick whenever you thought about all those years you’ve wasted by being just a little too stubborn for your own good.

all those sweet, early mornings where the sun would peak through the blinds and you’d wake up to find him still curled all around you, and how you would run from them just because they started to feel a little too real. all those nights where you’d leave him still tangled up in the sheets, breathless and wishing you’d stay just a little while longer whilst you were already halfway out the door.

for years all you did was run, and you’re yet to forgive yourself for it. because this — this was heaven and you could have had it so much sooner if only you hadn’t been such a fucking coward.

you blame it all on those three little flings that you had over the years; those three no-more-than-six-weeks-long ‘relationships’ that still, somehow, almost ruined you. the first was a guy that seemed to love his pills and potions more than you, the second was once the ‘love of your life’ before he stuck his dick in someone else, and the third was nothing more than a few too many bad hookups with a guy you couldn’t quite shake.

they were what did it for you, in the end. what convinced you to avoid anything more than the odd one-night-stand here and there. you just weren’t cut out for the whole ‘dating’ thing, apparently, and that was fine. you were fine with that; happy about it, even. as long as it meant that you wouldn’t have to go through anymore disappointment, you’d live with it. or without it, rather.

so when you found yourself stood outside in the pouring rain, arguing back and forth with joost about something you can’t even remember anymore, you still thought it to be out of the question. you were refusing to believe that you were anything more than a stress-reliever to him, because that’s all you could ever be. all you ever wanted to be.

whatever it was that you and joost had, it was special. you couldn’t explain it, and you certainly weren’t willing to lose it by feeling all the wrong things for him. you had no idea that he was the one who’d fallen down that rabbit hole, the one who’d started feeling all those wrong things first — not until he kissed you that day.

with the rain soaking the two of you down to the bone, tears pooling in both of your eyes. his chest had been heaving and your throat had felt all scratchy from the yelling; still, he had been so gentle with you. even more so than he usually was. he had his hands cupping your face and the way he’d looked at you, still to this day it gives you goosebumps whenever you think about it.

how lucky you are that for the past six months joost has kissed you just like that, every single day.

every morning now, when you wake up to the sun shining through the blinds and joost’s arms still wrapped around you, you don’t dare to move. you wait until you hear that low grumble in your ear that’s always followed by a sweet kiss to the back of your shoulder, and only then do you roll over to return the favour. sometimes it unravels into something more, other times you’re both able to show some restraint.

the afternoons are always a little more unpredictable with joost’s job being what it was. there were days where he’d say his goodbyes before midday and wouldn’t return until the early hours of the next morning. there were the months where you’d be lucky to even get a whole day together at all. but there were also the days where he’d only be out for a few hours, either at the studio or one of the boys’ houses. on those ones, whether it was your place or his, joost would always come home to you with pastries in his hand and some new art of his to show you.

for the first time in all your years of living, things were finally good. you were happy; you were in love. it was only right to assume that with that, everything else was bound to fall into place.

but you just weren’t sleeping.

you drift off for a while, tucked neatly away into joost’s arms as he engulfs you, him always being so insistent on being the big spoon. for a couple hours you’ll sleep like that, tossing and turning until you’re all the way over on the other side of the bed, and it’s there that you wake up struggling to catch your breath, shaking like a leaf.

usually, it’s just bits and pieces of that night all jumbled up that you see. quick ‘flashes’ of his face, the bloodied crack in the bathroom mirror, the feeling of the porcelain sink digging into your stomach as he bent you over it. nothing truly coherent, but enough to still wake you up in a panic at three o’clock in the morning. then it becomes a gamble as to whether or not you’re able to fall back asleep. most of the time, you’re still laying there wide awake when the sun starts to rise, still far too afraid to close your eyes again.

though for whatever reason, tonight’s dream had been particularly awful. you could’ve sworn that you were actually back there this time, relieving the whole thing. you could feel his hand on the back of your neck, squeezing, keeping you pinned down. you could feel your skirt all in a bunch around your waist again and your tights barely hanging on from how he’d ripped them to near shreds.

and now you were here, staring at the ceiling and trying not to cry too loud whilst the clock ticked closer and closer to dawn. it was almost five o’clock in the morning so really, it should’ve felt as though you’d gotten at least a couple hours of good sleep. instead, you were exhausted; wide awake with your heart pounding inside your chest, but exhausted as tears slipped from the corners of your eyes.

this wasn’t what you expected, not when joost had painted such a beautiful picture that therapy was the be all and end all cure for any and every problem. it had you convinced that by the time you were a few months into your sessions, things would’ve gotten at least a little bit easier. perhaps it was your fault for getting your hopes up the way that you did.

you were trying to keep it quiet, your crying. you hadn’t told joost about what had actually happened that night yet, let alone the nightmares about it. he had a habit of carrying other people’s pain so that they wouldn’t have to themselves — you didn’t want to be one of those people.

after a while though, you didn’t have that choice anymore. there was a bang from outside, nothing more than just an old, cheap car backfiring, and you jumped. you made the bedframe shake a little more than it already was and yelped just loud enough to wake joost up from his sleep. you swore underneath your breath as he grumbled something you couldn’t quite hear before looking back over his shoulder at you.

“you heard that too?”

when you didn’t say anything he turned over fully, the sheets rusting and the mattress creaking as he moved.

you heard him whisper your name, just in case you really were still asleep, but even in the dark he could see that your eyes were open and staring blankly at the ceiling. it was a quiet sniffle that gave you away in the end, because the dark did well at hiding the wetness in your eyes. still, it couldn’t conceal the quick wipe of your nose; even in the dark and without his glasses on, joost could still see that.

“hey, are you crying?”

you didn’t mean to flinch when he went to brush a strand of hair out of your eyes, and you didn’t mean to worry him by doing so. it made his eyebrows furrow as he pulled his hand back and sat up slightly, propping himself up on one of his elbows.

“what’s going on?”

“nothing, i just…i’m just being a bit stupid. i’m fine; you can go back to sleep.”

maybe if there wasn’t that waiver in your voice you would’ve gotten away with it. joost would’ve mumbled something of an ‘okay’ and kissed you goodnight before rolling back over. you would’ve been left alone to wait for the sunrise, a cold sweat coating your skin despite the warm summer air that was rolling in through your open windows.

but even if he was half blind without his glasses on, joost’s ears worked just fine. he heard the waiver in your voice as well as the sniffle in your nose, and he knew.

joost wasn’t stupid; he noticed things. noticed the way the bags under your eyes had been growing heavier over the past couple months, and saw how even the smallest things were making you jump out of your skin. he knew what you were like though, knew better than to try and ask you about it. all he could really do was hope that the therapist you had now would be enough.

but he’d found you near-sobbing at five o’clock in the morning now; heard the fear in your voice, saw the tears in your eyes. it didn’t surprise you to see him immediately sit up and reach over, switching on his bedside light before turning back to face you. but it did bring on a wave of sickness to your stomach, the kind that made your hands feel clammy.

“no, you’re not fine. what happened?”

you wiped at your nose again, and then at your eyes. as you spoke you refused to look at him, keeping your gaze fixed on the ceiling because you truly did believe that all of this was stupid. your tears, the heavy beating of your heart — all of it.

“just had a bad dream, that’s all.”

you heard a soft sigh from bedside you and felt gentle fingers in your hair, finally tucking that one strand behind your ear. this time, you didn’t flinch. you leaned into the touch, letting a single tear slip down your cheek as you realised that soon, this might be the last time he’ll ever want to touch you.

“anything i can do?”

you really didn’t want to do this, but you knew you needed to.

“can i…can i talk about it? you know, about what happened that night?”

joost didn’t hesitate, he couldn’t — not when this was such a rarity for you. he nodded and laid back down, his tired eyes watching as you rolled over until your back was facing him. he couldn’t bring himself to ask why you wouldn’t look at him, just listened quietly as you sucked in a deep breath and watched as you curled yourself into a ball.

“the guy, he was nice at first; saw that i was on my own and wanted to know how i ended up there, i guess. he seemed normal, like he just wanted to get to know me.”

your voice was shaking as you spoke, and you were struggling to breathe through your stuffed up nose.

“i should’ve known that something was wrong when i started to feel like, drunk drunk, after only a couple of drinks. maybe he slipped something in one of them, i don’t know, but when he asked if i wanted to do a line with him i didn’t think i could say no.”

a large hand squeezed your hip from over the covers when you paused for a moment, a few tears getting caught in your throat when you tried to swallow them down.

“i uh, i followed him into the bathroom and i let him lock the door behind us, and i did the line he racked up for me. he promised me that it was a gift, that he didn’t want anything for it; he knew i didn’t have any money to pay him and he said it was fine. but when i tried to leave he told me that he’d changed his mind, said i could pay him back another way.”

joost’s hand fell from your hip when you slipped out from underneath it and curled in further on yourself. it meant that all he could do was watch from the other side of the bed as your shoulders began to shake from the small, pathetic sobs that you couldn’t hold back.

“i said no, joost. he got me up against the door, tried to reach underneath my skirt, but i said no. he didn’t like that — didn’t like it when i hit him, either. he…he bent me over the sink, hit my head against the mirror, told me that i owed him for what he’d given me.”

you had to fight to get the words out through all of your blubbering; through each of the hiccups and all of the gagging. you truly were in a bit of a state now, spiralling further and further down into the memory, but you needed to do this. no matter how much it hurt, you just needed to get it out.

“he held me down by my neck and he…he laughed when i told him i couldn’t breathe. i couldn’t move, joost, i couldn’t get him off so i just…”

when you started to trail off, a pair of arms scooped you up and gently pulled you across the bed until you were flat again joost’s chest. you felt him rest his head in the crook of your neck, a dozen salty tears of his own dripping down onto your shoulder. for a while, neither of you said anything else; you’d gotten yourself too worked up to find the rest of your words and quite frankly, joost didn’t need to hear anything else. he had an imagination, he knew what happened next.

you caught him off guard when after a couple minutes, just after the silence had settled, you started to apologise over and over again. like a child too consumed with guilt, you were spewing out desperate ‘i’m so sorry’s one after the other until the words all slurred together.

“hey, hey, hey, stop that. you don’t need to do that.” you felt him kiss the back of your ear, your neck, your shoulder. “i’m never gonna blame you for it, okay? — it’ll never be your fault.”

joost’s grip on you tightened when you began to cry harder, your tears soaking the pale, bare skin of his arm. he nuzzled his face deeper into the dip of your neck, listening to the unsteady beat of your pulse as you breathed in quick, shallow breaths.

“i-i’m sorry.”

“shhh, hey, it’s alright. just focus on breathing, honey. that’s all you need to do.”

it took you until little drops of sun were spilling through the blinds to finally relax enough to breathe right. neither of you had moved an inch, you were both still all wrapped up in each other, only now the tears had dried and your eyes were growing heavier.

carefully, you twisted in his arms until you were facing his chest, and it was there that you curled up again. you felt him leave kisses all along your crown; in your hair and on your forehead. as you hooked a leg over his, he used an arm to pull you closer, only satisfied once you were as close to being under his skin as you could be.

the warm summer air was still blowing in through your bedroom windows. it made the whole room hot and sticky, making you sweat even more than you always were from being so close to joost. beads of sweat were gathering along your hairline as well as his, and the bedsheets were beginning to cling to your skin. it was clammy and uncomfortable — still, you wouldn’t move.

“thank you, by the way.”

it was the sound of your own voice to break the silence again, but it was your words that made joost shift a little, only to tilt his head down to get a better look at you. when he met your eyes he saw that you were already staring up at him with something of a smile tugging at corners of your lips.

“for what, baby?”

“for letting me talk about it…and for not running away afterwards.”

with his eyes drooping and his breathing slow, joost simply scoffed. his hands danced their way up to your jaw and cupped your face, his thumbs gently stroking along the pink blush of your cheeks.

“i could never run away from you.”

[verchante]

Ishq hai - LN4

cw: fluff, desi!reader as always, based on an debate i literally had one of my frnd. veer-zaara, om shanti om, and devdaas are goated idc

lando adjust the camera as he waited for people to enter the stream. "chat you need to fix something," his tone solemn. "don't start before me," a voice yelled from the hallway before his girlfriend came into the view. she handed him his cup of chai before sipping on her coffee.

"chat remember whose fans you are," lando says. "that's cheating!" his girlfriend exclaimed. "babe how is it cheating when some bhen ka lauda said 'we're yn's fans lando'," he read one of the comments. "bhabhi hai teri," lando says to the camera as if directly threatening the person who left the comment.

lando norris who is that? i'm js here for yn 😍😍😍

actually she's my fav engineer

lando move i can't see yn

"alright guys, what do you think is the goated srk movie and why is it mohabbatein," he says. "you know mohabbatein jimmy shergill reminds me of neil perry from dead poets society," his girlfriend chimes in. "but the goated ones are om shanti om, veer-zaara, and devdass," she added.

lando scrunches up his face at the movies she listen, already having been traumatized by devdaas. "mohabbatein literally serves everything. devdaas and om shanti om are just plain trauma," he argued. "nah, uh om shanti om, devdaas, and veer-zaara are just goated," she repeated.

kuch kuch hota hai, laughing in the corner

"i literally don't believe ki there are people who like kuch kuch hota hai. that movie doesn't even make sense," she scoffed. "oh so om shanti om and veer-zaara makes sense?" lando sassed. "a guy who died reincarnation 30 years later and took revenge for his dead love?" he added.

"exactly! that's actually like so green flag thing," she replied. "and an iaf pilot left his job to go to pakistan to confront his situationship so that she can marry someone else. mind you that girl went to pakistan overnight," he rolls his eyes.

"okay i get it but it's not like the entire story is bullshit. i mean kuch kuch hota hai just doesn't even make sense. i have this theory ki rahul has a type. he's into feminine girls and jab anjali ko dekha in sarees he wrote a letter to his daughter signed by tina."

"vaise bhi hai toh tharkulla red flag. uss bhen ke laude ko dono chaiye. matlab peak bakchodi. and i genuinely can't understand that kisi ki favourite movie is kuch kuch hota hai," she added. "you cannot talk about logic in movies when your favourites are om shanti om," lando argued. "please my favorites are much better than mohabbatein," she rolls her eyes at him.

"please apna kalesh aapne pass keep karein," lando scoffs at her, referencing to her kaleshi aurat teeshirt. she gasped, "i'm returning you to cisca, you caught on my sass," she punched his shoulder. "dil se movie bhul gaye kya," she read one of the comments.

"wait that's the one with chaiyya chaiyya na? meine dekha nahi hai. behenchod i even forgot the hook step of chaiyya chaiyya," she mumbled. "it's literally this," lando moved his chair away from her, demonstrating the hook step while being seated.

"behenchod a white man knows the hook step to chaiyya chaiyya and i don't," she stopped herself. "actually mujhe hindi bol na chaiye varna mera aadhar card le lenge," she chuckled. "even my name is khan is a good movie too," she reads in the comments.

"anyway songs," lando says moving chair to it's original place. "look i don't care what you say ishq hai is goated. what? g o a t e d, fucking goated brother," he claimed. his girlfriend next to his gasped. "this is so embarrassing. meine isse itne acche gaane sunaye and he likes ishq hai!" she complained.

"baby no, ishq hai is literally so good!" lando says. "it's fucking overrated. like yeah it's a good song but it cannot be goated when sajda, o rangrez, yeh tune kya kiya, bheegi si bhaagi si, chaand sifarish exists!" she exclaimed.

"you know what let me pull up my playlist," she said, opening up her spotify. "also it's mainly love songs wali playlist which i listen to almost daily. like the ealry 2000s and abhi wale. toh mujhe koi bakchodi nahi chaiye ki arey kun faya kun kyu nahi hai," she warned. "actually most of the songs in my playlist are goated." lando makes a face at her words.

"see apna bana le, not so goated. arijit singh have better romantic songs than this so not goated," she said. "agreed," lando chimes in. "zaalima, not sure you guys decide," she said. "i mean it's good but not goated good," lando justifies.

"ajab bi, mast magan, tujh mein rab dikhta hai, fucking goated." "no! tujh mein rab dikhta is not goated," lando argues. "like the other one is goated but not the rab song!" he added. "loud and wrong," she shook her head. "rangisaari," she announced. "not goated," they said in unison.

"raatan lambyian, fucking goated," she proclaimed. "you know yeah. it's you need it injected into your veins kinda songs," lando says. "heer ranjha, ishq wala love, not goated."

"okay the goated ones now." "main agar kahoon, kalank title track even luteron ka lootera version, khuda jaane, chaand sifarish, tere naina, o rangrez, teher ja, haule haule, rang jo lagyo, bheegi si bhaagi si, ye tune kya kiya, and sajda," she listed.

"these all are goated," she proclaimed. lando chimed in regularly with hmms and nahs. "i still believe ishq hai is above all," he states. "fuck off!" she rolled her eyes. "just accept that ishq hai is better," he says. "sajda is literally THE goated song," she insisted.

[cuntyji]

taking a break from my own shitty writing to read some GOOD GOOD literature...the goodest of them alll....the baddest, the realest....the okay let's just get started.

gojo is the type of guy to buy a "slay and yaas and twink" shirt with you, i don't make the rules.

geto suguru.....geto suguru.....!!! i have been infected by a virus (getoism) because of daphavocadokuna and let me tell you geto's part of the fic is the one that gagged me the most. he is such a romantic...i need 10 of him and another 500 for all my gays and girls. also geto is THEEEE gossip queen i love it when people write him as such, and having it confirmed by leader of geto-ville herself...gege write that down

guys i'm genuinely rolling down the wall [edit: isn't it sliding??? girl bye they see me rolling LNJNHDHUHDUUADH] when i read the sukuna one because i was like "oh flower ! 😄 what is this link? 🙀 OH DEAR GOD THAT'S- *gunshots*" don't even play with me rn daph i think i shed a tear I. LOVE. YOU!!! he is so like....himbo coded. but like a himbo who drank too much monster. do you get the vibes...man i need to write more of soft idiot in love sukuna!! *stares at my current wip manifesting it blossoms into a soft fic*

toji.....toji fushiguro....guys did u all know i went for @nkoprra's wedding with toji it was saur romantic.....anyways 💗 i feel like he is more of a dry texter than sukuna and the CALLLINNGG he is deffo a call > text guy, i think he'd send more voice messages too. he deffo gets you the best gifts on occassions, he's saur money [peak english here]🕺🕺

DAPHHNNNENENENENENEE NANAMI'S HAD ME CRYING I CAN'T CHOOSE BETWEEN HIM AND SUKUNA FUCK MEEEE. i need a man who corporate responds to all my shared videos than say nothing at all. "thank you for sharing" IM CRYINGGG U HAVE NO IDEA I WAS GIGGLING SO HARD. as someone who likes having someone sit by them as they fall asleep this was such a cute detail to add and im in tears im honking weeping wailing even

choso they will never make me hate you and your chick flick liking ass....love ur characterization of him he is deffo more than just an awkward weird boy....he is THE boy

"objection. we had sushi two days ago" WHY IS HE LIKEEE THIS AHHAHAHA. a man hiding his smile behind his hand is such a hot thing to do i don't know why + bonus points if they lean further into their hand to cover their entire face oh MAMA 🐕🐕🐕

naoya is the typa lad who'd quadruple text you in a row saying "im going. going to bed. going to sleep. i'm closing my eyes. this is your last chance fr. this is naoya's father did you ever care for him" LMAISJDFIEHUWHU he's such a drama kweenie.....i never even thought of reading naoya fics icl once indie wrote an ex!bf naoya fic and that's it, but you dear pookiekuna [to me atleast] have become synonymous with naoya [in a good way] because you write him just so dang funny and dorky i fear i would fold like a lawn chair [is that the saying?] for him.... bonus points if we wildly smooch in public. I AM WAITING FOR BOLTER SEASON 2 PLELASEEE DAPH VALENTINE'S DAY SPECIAL EP WHEN MY GLORIOUS QUUE- *GUNSHOTS*

kashimo is giving pimento and rosa's relationship from b99 idk why he just seems like such a stupid lad. also daph wtaf stop playing u're making me realize how fine half of the jjk cast is oh im gonna be SIIICKKKKK

"it is natural for others to admire beauty such as yours. however, they must know it's not theirs to claim" sir if someone said that to me i would have a mental breakdown. he's the "you're killing my tough guy personality" guy. HE SEEMS SO BITEABLE DAPH I CANT VOCALIZE MY THOUGHTS IM SHAKING WRITING THIS IM GENUIENLY GOING OOGA BOOGA CAVEMAN STYLW WHAT THE FAWKKKKKKKKKKKKK DONT CHAT TO ME

pick your love story °🍵⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ jujutsu kaisen edition (sfw)

gojo satoru ☆ childhood friends to lovers

loves to tease you, and he'll always poke your cheek, ruffle your hair, or steal your food just to get a reaction. if you're shy or quiet, he lives to make you flustered. buys the most ridiculous gifts, including matching sunglasses and designer items that cost more than your rent. acts like your personal heater, always draping himself over you, wrapping his long arms around your shoulders, or sneaking his hands under your sweater to press them against your skin. if someone flirts with you? well, he's throwing him arm around you so dramatically, calling you his 'beloved' in the most obnoxious way possible. if the person doesn't back off, his carefree tone disappears and he gives them a chilling smile. loves late night drives and cafe dates, he's so the type to blast music in the car and sing off-key on purpose, always laughs when you tell him to zip it. his love language is definitely physical touch and words of affirmation, and he needs to be touching you at all times, and he constantly reminds you how much he loves you in different playful and heartfelt ways <3 he's even softer when he's sleepy, nuzzling into your neck and shit, voice always dropping to a quiet murmur as he spills whatever's on his mind.

geto suguru ☆ best friends to lovers

pretty chill, protective and a faux deep thinker type of guy. gentle and attentive, always knowing what you need before you even ask. if had a rough day, he's gonna run you a bath and try to get your favourite drink. tries to sit still and listen patiently while you rant. lowkey a bit overzealous when it comes to jealousy, but never petty. he doesn't get outwardly possessive. but if someone flirts with you, he'll wrap an arm around your waist and give the person a pretty sharp look, enough that they'll back off and shit. always takes pictures of you, and he has an entire album of random shots of you reading, laughing or even just existing bc he really does think you look beautiful in every moment. loves bookstore and vinyl shop dates, and he enjoys those sweet peaceful moments with you (flipping through books, aka arguing about different genres). he's super big on quality time + acts of service, and if he sees you struggling with anything, he'll try to take care of it before you even have to ask. loves running his fingers through your hair, and he claims it calms him, and sometimes he just gets so lost in thought while doing it, that you have to snap him out of it. he's the type to whisper sweet things in your ear absentmindedly, like 'you have no idea how much i love you' when he thinks you're not paying attention. goes all red and dismissive when he realises you actually did hear that :D and he says he's not in gossip and drama but no one talks shit like he does, lets be real

ryomen sukuna ☆ prob sum weird enemies to lover shit

claims he doesn't date, but somehow ends up trying to figure out your favourite flower. calls you stupid shit like 'brat' or 'pet' more than your actual name, but if someone disrespects you, he tears them apart without hesitation. gets jealous easily, but he won't admit it, and if someone looks at you wrong, he'll grab your chin and kiss you (not that you mind <3) his love language is physical touch and dominance, expect him to always keep a hand on your waist, neck or chin because as much as he pretends otherwise, he loves feeling your skin against his. gaslights you over silly things for fun ('i literally told you that' 'no you didn't' 'oh, so you're forgetful now). also whispers absolute nonsense in your ear just from time to time, 'did you know that octopuses have three hearts? bet you didn't, but now you do. you're welcome'). will open a jar way too aggressively to try and show off his strength but breaks it, and now you're left with no pickles and a sulking sukuna with pickle juice on his hand. carries you like a sack of potatoes on his shoulders if you piss him off. pretends he doesn't gaf, but always shares his food with you and tries to order what you like.

toji fushiguro ☆ reluctant friends to lovers

grumpy but soft for you typa boyfriend who doesn't believe in using full words in texts. only texts in 'ya' or 'nah' and he accidentally replied 'k' to you saying 'i love you' and he called you immediately afterwards because he knows he messed up. loves pda but in the most lazy way possible, and will always drape himself over you like a weighted blanket and refuse to move. always steals bites of your food (half the meal) but will act offended if you do the same. once won you a stuffed animal at a carnival and acted like it was no big deal, but he actually used up all his carnival tickets trying to win you the biggest prize. spoils you in a reckless way, and he'll hand you a wad of cash and refuses to tell you how he got the money. he just tells you to go buy something nice. love language is acts of service and physical touch because he claims he's not amazing with words, but his hands always find their way back home to you. loves lazy mornings, and grumbles when you try to get out of bed, pulling you back in with an arm around your waist.

nanami kento ☆ love at first sight

exhausted but devoted you get me, and he claims that you energise him and light up his life. lectures you when you only sleep for three hours a night. replies to the tiktoks you send with corporate replies 'that was humorous. thank you for sharing. i love you.' he thinks you're absolutely the most beautiful person on the planet, and always lets you know. pretty gentle, mature and devoted. shows his love in sweet, meaningful ways. always puts your comfort first, and he tries to take things off your plate without asking. loves cooking for you, and believes cooking is its own love language. hates unnecessary, brash pda but loves quiet intimacy. holds your hand, brushes your hair against your ear. lingering kisses on your temple. reads to you at night, and he'll sit beside you if you have trouble drifting off. his love language is absolutely acts of service and quality time, and he doesn't just say he loves you, he'll prove it in every little action of his. loves taking you out to scenic parks and hikes, and just stares after you with so much love as he tries to adjust the focus of his camera lenses to try and capture you as well as he can.

choso kamo ☆ strangers to lovers

kinda awkward but genuinely, really quiet sweet. overthinks everything, and at the start of your relationship, he even started overthinking how you said 'goodnight!' and wondered if you were mad at him, because there was no heart or emoji. would die before making the first move idk, like you're going to have kiss him first or else, otherwise i fear he's going to have a stroke. holds grudges as long as he can, and will bring up little shit (like you stealing his lunch) six months later 'remember that time you betrayed me?'. but he can only really give you the silent treatment for two whole minutes when you tease him, and then immediately apologises because he feels bad. a lot of friends tease the two of you because they think choso is too quiet or a pushover but the truth is that he's actually pretty snarky, clever and observant. very determined and always sticks to his morals, even at times when you disagree with him, he's able to put his foot down. love language is quality time and gift giving, because he's the type to remember everything you like and surprise him with it. loves watching movies with you, and pretends not to care for 90s chick flicks, but he's digging them deep down. loves holding your hand, and even in public, he'll reach for you quietly.

higuruma hiromi☆ coworkers to lovers

overworked but loves you so bad. he sometimes reminds you of a tired, single dad but he's truly joyous to date. if you call him baby in public, he immediately malfunctions and blushes. you once kissed him in a courtroom (not even when court was ongoing!) on the tip of his gorgeous nose, and he almost choked. will 100% object to random things just to irritate you, with topics like takeout for dinner, 'objection. we had sushi two days ago.' takes everything pretty seriously, until you do something cute. then he just sits there, hiding his smile behind his hand like an adorable anime protagonist. tries to be strict or protective, but you just make him super soft. secretly likes pda but pretends that he doesn't. grips your hand so tight like he fears you might disappear. loves when you rest in his lap or against his chest as he reads over cases and paperwork. you told him that he'd look hot with glasses, and you caught him browsing through lens frames.

naoya zenin ☆ arranged marriage (kinda ooc naoya btw, bear with me)

sort of a menace who should have been left on read a long time ago, but this wasn't your first choice. somehow, he folds for you almost immediately but you think he'd rather dig his own grave and neatly fold his hands over his chest as he buries himself at his own funeral before he admits that he likes you. calls you annoying but will drop everything if you text him that you need help. always saying dumb shit to you, or trying to make fun of you, but if someone else does? they're gone, like he's going to stalk them, find where they work, and get them fired from their job. texts you the stupidest things like 'if i was ugly, would you still love me?' 'i just saw an ugly baby. damn' 'what would do if i got arrested? be honest.' saw someone flirting with you once at like a fancy event, and rolled his eyes, pretending that he didn't give a flying fuck. ended up at the bathroom mirror, gripping the sink and trying not to throw up. if you ignore his texts, he's gonna send vaguely ominous messages, like 'answer me' followed by 'this is how it ends?' 'i'm leaving btw, i'm going to pack up and leave you forever and go live on my own in the wild.' you check his location and he's still at home. naoya thinks he's the prize in the relationship, he's not. definitely a pda menace, and he loves just kissing you in public.

hajime kashimo ☆ enemies to lovers but in that 'we met when we were fighting' way

your relationship is just him being reckless with no survival instinct, and you trying to keep your boyfriend alive. aka trying to stop him from licking the power outlet. will randomly challenge you to fights for no reason, never mind the fact that he'll feel bad and back out at the last minute. has no concept of personal space, and will stand nose to nose with you just to make you uncomfortable. if you back away, he's gonna follow you and ask where you're going. if someone flirts with you, he's not even going to do too much, just laugh in their face and ask the offender if they really thought they had a chance. kashimo has no concept of an inside voice at all, so god forbid you try to take him somewhere quiet. energy level always at 200% and it's a mission to even take him someplace like a grocery store. if you said 'i love you' first, it might have been the only time that someone else has bested him in something. hajime physically can't process emotions and goes green and pale (he loves you so much btw) and he looks vaguely ill at your confession. stares for five minutes before throwing himself at you. definitely a words of affirmation type of guy, instead of actions, because sometimes, he's all bark and no bite.

noritoshi kamo ☆ sweet, rom-com crush

he's actually a bit traditional, but very sweet. unfortunately, he's also so formal that it hurts sometimes. but it's fun when he asks you things like 'would you like to accompany me for an evening meal?' or 'shall we go for a stroll?' if you hold his hand, for the first few months, he sweats profusely but acts as though he's totally cool (narrator: he was not cool). lowkey believes that he doesn't deserve you and he absolutely treats you, the love of his life, like royalty. super observant and determined to make you as comfortable as possible, so you're never really left wanting for anything. if someone flirts with you, he doesn't really get jealous, but rather gets philosophical. 'it is natural for others to admire beauty such as yours. however, they must know it's not theirs to claim.' a key forefront runner of the sassy men apocalypse, even though you wouldn't be able to tell at the start. super quick-witted, but he's the type to keep his thoughts to himself, but luckily, he gets more comfortable sharing his jokes with you as times go on. blushes super easily, and he hates it because he thinks it ruins his aloof/mysterious guy persona.

[ellouchi]

One-shot: "Forget me not"- Jimmy (gn/nsfw?)

Disclaimer: unreliable narrator, Jimmy being Jimmy, implied SA in the ending.

Side notes: I knooow I've said I'd post it yesterday, but I was on four hours of sleep and completely exhausted from work so sowwy guys. I've tried my best to fix as many mistakes as I could so sorry again if you see any, I'll probably edit this fic again later but for now... enjoy!

Today, Jimmy would make sure you would never forgot him again.

First he just had to wait until it was the night time on the ship, when it was darker and quieter, without any extra pairs of eyes and ears putting a wrench in his plans. Standing in the doorframe, the man observed you like a beast it's pray — you were writing a report about your performance in the common rooms. You often got out of your own room to sit there, same old walls giving you an eye sore, you once said. You used to turn around, wave at him when he passed by, but now you didn't even acknowledge him when he finally entered the room — Jimmy had to tamper the sudden pang of annoyance that shot through his body and instead appear to be as nonchalant as he could master.

Turned out there really was just a single step between love and hate, Jimmy though to himself. It was a shame things couldn't be the way they were at the beginning.

Before all that, when you first boared Tulpar, you were just a temporary crew member assigned to be babied with until the management decided to throw you on another ship. Something instantly clicked for Jimmy when captain Curly introduced you to the crew, and no wonder: you were smart enough to stick to Jim — not too close to the sun, but not crawling in the dirt.

Jimmy didn't show it, but he quickly noticed how you sought after him more often than the others, turned up to him for advices about work related matters and laughed at his quips and jokes that he made. Hard work really does pay off, Jimmy would think to himself, while laying on the bed with his brand new piloting license gleaming like a precious gem in his hand. Unlike with other people, everything about you felt so genuine, so seamless and easy, Jimmy didn't need to try hard for you to look up to him. He could be himself.

Best thing was, the signs told Jim that the feeling was mutual. You were the first one to greet him with a good morning, last one to part with a good night. Looked at him with shining eyes, smiles lingering longer than they should. If you sitting almost thigh to thigh next to him on the couch wasn't the obvious signal from you, then Jimmy didn't know what was.

Even ship's underwhelming conditions turned out to be a blessing in disguise when the AC system broke down, forcing you to work with your blue jumpsuit peeled off from your shoulders. The man never missed the way you tugged at your yellow t-shirt, suddenly his own coveralls feeling a bit stuffy and uncomfortable to be in. At his playful suggestion for both of you to strip you merely laughed, but never disregarded the idea...That evening Jimmy, however, let his hand and imagination run wild with the thought of your hands exploring everything covered by the pesky blue suit and a plain white shirt he wore.

Problems started to arise when Swansea took a note of your budding chemistry. He usually would run his trap hours on end, complaining about this and that, patronising as ever with his "age and experience" seemingly giving him permission to preach and lecture others.

"If I were a green fool like ya I would stay a mile a way from our "watchful" co-pilot. He's more bark than bite, but all the pain in the ass." Jimmy overheard Swansea call out to you when you two stood together to get the melted sweet treats from the vending machine. Said co-pilot clicked his tongue in annoyance, throwing back a jab at the uninvited mechanic, fortunately prompting a laugh from the old man. Ignorant of both men's concerns you simply chuckled at the sight, not digging any deeper. Despite this, you begun dressing a bit more modesty, robbing Jimmy of the opportunity of gawking at you. That damn Swansea.

Days, turning into weeks passed uneventfully. You concluded your training, which meant now you were officially just another cog in the corporate machine. Same all routine settled on the same old freighter ship, except for a few things. The captain seemed to finally acknowledge his esteemed co-pilot by dropping onto him his own "important captain assignments". Which was false, Jimmy knew Curly was just growing too exhausted to fulfil his daily quota, though the reason eluded him. Another odd thing was regarding you. Jimmy had a feeling he saw you less and less with each passing day, without counting the times you spent actually performing your work. You were the first one to finish the meals, the quickest one to get out from the shower and the space ship manual practically never left your hands. Jim hated it to admit this, but he missed you.

The pieces fell right into their places when Jimmy entered cockpit one ordinary shift to hand in the paperwork he did in captain's stead.

To be frank, Curly was slowly getting on Jimmy's nerves for some time already, this whole "all capable and reliable" act seemingly never ending. However, no feeling of irritation could compare to only what could Jimmy describe as betrayal running through his veins when he saw you bowing and shaking captain's hand with "thank you". His "friend" was standing way too close to you and you — to him, no, straight up leaning in.

Suddenly snippets of you two hanging out in the common room flooded Jimmy's mind, you skipping out of the cockpit with a smile on your face a few days ago, you asking Jimmy out of blue what Curly was like when he was younger and Curly praising you for your efforts during the piloting--

"Am I interrupting something?" escaped Jimmy's mouth faster than he could register. His nails left marks on cheap rough papers he clutched, sweat blurring away the ink, all the boring tedious work done for nought.

"Oh hey Jim. No, not at all. Just helping out our new college with excess workload." Jimmy gaze hardened over the fact that it was Curly who stepped up first to clear things up. "You know how it is with Pony Express: setting high standards with small deadlines and...." Jimmy stopped listening to anything else that left Curly's mouth, his focus shifting entirely to you. You refused to meet his gaze by staring dumbly at the metal floor.

Why were you silent now?

Why did you avoid looking in his direction?

Why did you turn up to Curly for help and not him?

You, who followed Jimmy like a puppy prior, buttering him up with empty talks, asking him a favour after favour. In the end only to abandon him when you raised high enough on the ledder to turn up with your issues to the captain himself. And Curly, whom he considered his closest friend, instead of helping Jim tried to snatch you away. Being well respected captain wasn't enough, he had to lure away you too....

Jimmy should've figured it was all too nice to be true.

The man didn't wait for Curly to finish or you to start, instead he just threw the papers onto the fax machine and waved his hand in dismissal as he left, lessons learnt and mood completely spoiled for the rest of the week.

It hurt. But Jimmy had to keep going forward. Curly crawled back to him eventually like he always did — reminiscent of a dog with its tail hidden between the legs. At least Curly seemed to take the hint and grew distant from you, pushing the professional approach all the way. The captain managed to make amends, he had to, if it meant keeping the peace on the ship.

No, Jimmy didn't care about his friend's betrayal. What drove him up on the wall was your reaction, or the lack of it. Because you pretended like nothing happened, resuming your busy day to day life, but this time avoiding Jimmy almost entirely. Ignoring you in return wasn't an option as the relationship between you two didn't reach the point where you'd feel anxious without his attention. Jimmy felt sick — he grew too comfortable around you and it bit him back in the ass.

Here he was, struggling to keep his composure without hearing a familiar lazy "good morning" coming from you at the dinning table every day. Any attempts at catching your gazes never resulted in anything other than a pit heaving in his stomach. Jimmy begun skipping game nights altogether when you found yourself a new spot at the armchair near the massive screen. The man grew desperate enough to eavesdrop on your unimportant daily chit chats in distant hope to get anything out of them to use. Rummaging through your stuff also proved to be fruitless. Everything to no avail.

Jimmy grew sick and tired of waiting for you to come to him. It was time for him to come to you.

"We've got a fax message from the corporate. You might wanna check this one out."

Luring you out was too easy, the man almost felt bad for abusing your innocence. But it was your fault for being an ignorant fool and trusting a person you slighted. Jimmy never said it was an update about your placement, just a message from the management — everything else was your wishful thinking. You proded co-pilot for any information on your way to the cockpit, but the later remained tight lipped and instead chatting you up about the most mundane things happening on Tulpar. If you hadn't lowered your guard down, you would hear the click of the lock sealing your fate.

"Alright, let's have a look at what those higher ups prepared for me" you said with a sigh, landing on the free seat with a paper in hands.

Jimmy humoured you a little further, standing right in front of you with his arms folded in the waiting stance, observing impatiently how your eyes skimmed through the text.

"Uhh...Jim this is just a general reminder that our haul is reaching it's destination in 30 days."

"I know" he flatly replied.

"Sooo why did you invite me here then?"

"Man, I can't believe some people can be this dense. Goes to show we can't trust others with anything. Even reading the room." Jimmy grumbled, yanking the document from your hands and letting it settle down onto the floor. Suddenly the man buckled over the pilot seat you were sitting on, both strong hands forcing your wrists down on the leather armrests. "Do you still not understand why I've dragged you here?"

This got your full undivided attention — you shrunk in the armchair, trying to slip your arms away from the bruising hold. You were akin to the fish thrown out of water with how your mouth opened and closed, before you gathered back your thoughts to respond.

"W-wait what are you talking about. I don't understand...." Jimmy searched for anything that could resemble a lie in your frighted eyes, but came up with nothing. You really were painfully oblivious to all his suffering this whole time.

"Is it that easy for you to discard people from your life? Hm? Must be nice to go about your day without a care in the world while I'm left to wonder what I have done wrong to be treated this way."

You remained silent, simply staring at the man in front of you in disbelief. God, just why he had to deal with someone as slow as you.

At last it clicked in your mind, your brows knitting together.

"...you don't mean us spending less time together right? Or is it about that one time with Curly? I just have my own work to take care of, and the captain has already told you that we were j--"

A heavy slap landed on you cheek before you had any time to finish. The sting wasn't going to hurt as much as other things Jimmy had in store for you — you didn't know it just yet.

"Don't try to bullshit me now. I know exactly what was your plan from the very beginning" uttered Jimmy, bringing his face right in front of yours. He wanted to see you cry so badly, beg for his forgiveness — Jimmy was almost willing to beat you up with his bare fists if it meant getting what he desired. "If you really think you can screw me up and not suffer any consequences you are dead wrong. I was being nothing but kind and patient, even taught you things no-one else would, and that's how you repay me? By going behind my back to fuck your way up by using Curly? Sorry to disappoint you, but you're not even in his taste."

Once again the man could read complete bewilderment from your facial features alone. Burning pain on your cheek all but forgotten, you raised you face to meet Jimmy's. Tiny drops of glistening tears gathered at the corners of your eyes, you lower lip instinctively bitten and chewed on from the tension. It had to be one of the most beautiful faces you've ever made: full of confusion, fear and submission.

"Jimmy... you got it all wrong, please just listen to me." You've tried, earnestly tried to calm the man down, to find a way out of the situation you were forced into. But there was no reasoning, no bargaining, nothing left.

Jimmy leaned in to where your ear was, letting out hot puffs of air as he spoke. "You had a chance to explain yourself, but you've missed it. Don't forget that you brought this upon yourself. You"

Jimmy saw you gasp in horror before he smashed his mouth against yours with such force your head hit the back on the chair. Your lips have already been parted so he wasted no time tracing your lower lip with his tongue, hot and slick from all the waiting. That wasn't what Jimmy initially planned, but it felt right at that moment. All pent up emotions suppressed for god knows how long suddenly taking a hold of his better judgement. Actually, this would work too — it would make you never forget about him ever again.

You squirmed against Jimmy's hold once again, trying to turn your head away to the sides. Jimmy had to crawl on top of you to secure your head against the leather pad of the seat, fully inserting his tongue to violate your mouth. He lapped at you like a starved man, not caring about his stubble scratching at your skin or about the saliva seeping down your chin.

Jimmy caught a sights of your eyes squeezed shut which he didn't like at all. It seemed like his words didn't get through your thick skull after all, so he dug his knee right into you groin, making you jolt, stilling your struggles momentarily.

"Don't. Ignore me." Jimmy growled staring straight into your eyes. "If you want this to be over then just do what I say. Understand?" he finished, waiting for your response.

If it wasn't for the twisting ache in your throat, you would say something to Jimmy, but instead you gave a jittety nod.

This prompted Jimmy to finally smirk: a dark variation of a smile you were used to seeing whenever the man was about to say something witty. You instantly regretted your choice, cruel hand zipping down the fly of your blue uniform in a swift motion — from your chest to your abdomen, only setting the regret deeper and deeper...

"Then do me a favour and stay still, will you?"

[setmeatopthepyre]

WIP wednesday enabled/tagged-ish by @peapodbond & @geddyqueer <3 really felt like sharing this slice of antarct-fic. enjoy!

-

Katie slides the bottle towards him. “Drink up, kid. The rations don't carry over.”

Buck happily obliges. They drink in companionable quiet for a while, Katie occasionally providing commentary on the people coming and going or doing the rounds, telling Buck who they are, how long they've been coming to the Ice, pointing out the winterovers and the ones with interesting stories.

They're watching two pilots (“That's Hisham, helo pilot, third timer. Girlfriend's a kiwi, she's at Scott base. Other fella's one of the Canadians with Ken-Borek. Loïc, think it was. Fixed wing pilot. They tend not to get along.”) get into an argument that both men seem too tired to actually escalate, when Buck speaks up.

“Katie, have you ever been in love?”

She dangles her bottle from between her finger tips, eyes still on the argument unfolding. “Sure.”

He props his head up on his hand to look at her. “What happened?”

Katie levels her steely gaze at him but something she sees makes her soften a little. Shrugs. “She ran off to go study insular dwarfism in Madagascan chameleons. Left me behind.”

Buck's eyebrows raise along with the corners of his mouth. “Oh. S-so you're--”

She nods, taps her bottle against his. Leans in and mock-whispers, “There's more of us than y'think, kid. Even out here.” Considers it. “Perhaps especially out here. The Ice tends to attracts people like us.”

Buck watches her take a swig of her drink and lets the words sink in. “Wait, what do you mean, 'people like us?'”

Her pale eyebrows inch towards the edge of her bandana. “What do you think I mean, Buckley?” She gestures at herself. “The gays, the dykes, the-- whatever you are. You know. The queers.”

“Oh.” Something uncomfortable twists in his gut. “I-I'm not--”

Katie leans back, genuine surprise written across her face. “Well I'm sorry, kid. I could'a sworn last night you spent all of three beers waxing poetic about your helo guy.”

Buck makes a face. “W-well. He-- he's not my... but--”

“You're in love with this man, yeah?”

And he can't help the lovestruck smile that's tugging at the corners of his mouth, dips his head. “Yeah.”

“And you're a guy.”

“Uh, o-obviously.”

“So you're...” she gestures and Buck realizes he's supposed to finish the sentence. He shifts in his seat, discomfort gnawing at him.

“Yeah, I, uh. Yes, I-I guess that would make me...” he trails off, looks at her pleadingly, not sure if he wants her to give him all the answers or just drop the subject entirely.

“So, what, are you homophobic?”

Katie's raspy voice still carries, and Buck casts a panicked glance around the bar. Thankfully, no one seems to have heard her. Or they're really good at hiding it. “No! No. No, of-- of course not. I-I'm... I've always been an ally.”

She raises her eyebrows. “An ally who's in love with a man but can't even say out loud that he's... what? Gay? Bi?”

He gives her a desperate look from where he has his face practically pressed against the tabletop. “Right? I-I should know, shouldn't I? How-- How can I-I not know?”

He's whining. That was definitely a whine.

As if by some miracle, Katie looks less unimpressed with him than she usually does, which doesn't say a whole lot, especially considering the fact that she's not even looking at him right now. She's staring off into space as she takes a long swig from her bottle. When she speaks, her voice is uncharacteristically gentle.

“You came all the way out here to follow the guy you're in love with,” she says, slowly, as if trying to explain something to a particularly dense but, arguably, loved child. Then she sighs, puts a calloused hand on his. “Look, kid, you don't need to choose from a whole bunch of labels. Hell, the only labels I knew 'til well into my thirties was dykes and fags.” And Buck tries not to flinch, but she clocks him anyway if the roll of her eyes is anything to go by.

She pats his hand. “You don't need any labels at all if y'don't want them. God knows they probably never think about it.” She gestures at the other bar patrons with her bottle. “But there's not needing a label, and there's bein' ashamed of what that label means, and a lot of us older folk used the former as an excuse for the latter for a long time. Claiming that label means something to us. It doesn't have to, for you, but if your guy spent any time in the closet, it might mean a whole lot to him.”

Buck takes a moment for the words to sink in. “What, so he thinks I'm... ashamed of my feelings for him?”

She pats his hand twice more before removing hers and leaning back. “Hell if I know, I'm not a mind reader.”

-

no pressure tagging @ambernotember @sugarpenchant @geddyqueer @beanarie @epiphainie @leashybebes @iphyslitterator @rcmclachlan @trombonechurchill

[zepskies]

@lamentationsofalonelypotato

I'm so excited for you, my friend!! Thank you for diving in. 🥰

I like this line, because it's what made Dean stop. In my head I feel like this version of Dean has pushed away so many people and the reader is the first person in a long time to genuinely say that she was "worried" about him, and it strikes something in his chest because he couldn't remember the last time it happened. That's the headcanon in my head anyway lol.

Oh yeah, that's a totally accurate observation, poor Dean. 🥲 He hasn't allowed himself to be "worried about" in a long time, since he and Sam started up their own lives.

Also the spice was.... 😱🌶️🔥. I literally cannot write smut to save my life, but you always write it so well! I also liked that you didn't do it as intense as omegaverse usually is, because we both know how it can be 👀

ahaha thank youuu 😘 It's really not easy for me, but I write it when I feel the story warrants it. And totally, the more subtle approach was what I was going for loll! I don't think I could write the aggressive smut that omegaverse fics tend to be. 🤪

OH MY WORD DEAN SHUT UP! I promise it's okay! She loves you and she can see that you're not a bad person because you literally have been nursing her back to health with her broken ankle 😭 Not to mention you guys are fated! She's not going to let you go no matter what you do.

Lol RIGHT?! How many times do we have to go over this, Dean???? 😭

But again... on brand for Dean to hate himself and to think he's not good enough -sigh- just means that you get to spend more time wrapped up with him trying to convince him 😊😉. I also believe that Dean loves intimac, that he does crave that connection with someone, not to mention I still love what you do in your Midnight Espresso series with Dean being a little touch starved for non-sexual touch. I feel like you've also implied this here and it is marvelous!

This is where I have to beat down the "not worthy" aspect of Dean's personality when it comes to love and intimacy. 😭 But I SO agree with you -- he craves it, even though he doesn't feel like he deserves it half the time. That's a big theme in Midnight Espresso, so I love you so much for enjoying that aspect in that series and in this one. 🥹💓💓

I'm literally cackling. I can hear Dean saying this to his significant other. Meeting Baby for the first time holds the same place in his heart as meeting Sam for the first time 🤣 ALSO, I wasn't ready for the palm kiss. Palm kisses and forehead kisses DESTROY me.

LOL this part of the scene was so vivid in my mind -- I have no doubt he'd be just like this when his girl meets his Baby. 🤣🤣 Oh same. I LOVE hand kisses and forehead kisses. They're so wholesome. 🥹

I like that this was an alternate ending to the dumpster fire that was the end of Supernatural. That it's Dean and his girl out on the open road listening to a Led Zeppelin song holding hands in the front seat of Baby was just beautiful in the best way and a perfect ending to this mini-series my wonderful friend!! I am going to miss this couple so much, but it really was a fitting end for them 🥰

Honestly that's the biggest compliment I could get on this story! 💕💕 It's the two of them riding into the subset to some Zep tunes, on their way to see Sam and his new little family. I might come back to write their little reunion, but until then, I'm so glad you've enjoyed this snowy, angsty ride. 😘❄️💜💜

Against the Wind - Part 4

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x F. Omega!Reader 

Summary: You wake up in a strange alpha’s cabin in the middle of a snowstorm, all with a busted ankle. He holds shadows in his eyes, even though his hands are gentle. There are iron shutters around his heart, even though he saved you. You might just save him in return.

AN: The grand finale...

Song Inspo: “Against the Wind” by Bob Seger

Word Count: 3.4K

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, knotting, claiming, fluff and feels.

Series Masterlist || Bingo Masterlist

Part 4: Running to Live

His cold hands are warming on your skin as he slides them underneath your sweater. They move smoothly up your back, bunching up the material. You break from his kiss only to help him get the sweater off you, followed closely by his pants.

Your sweatpants slide down your legs with just a sharp tug, baring most of your body to his gaze. His eyes drag over your exposed neck and shoulders, your breasts cupped in your bra, down to your panties and bare thighs.

A shiver runs through you, both from his heated gaze, and from being exposed to the cooler air. Even with the fire going and the heater running in the cabin, the frigid air outside is unforgiving.

You have no problem with the way Dean guides you down from the chaise to take advantage of your nest on the floor, right in front of the fire. He draws you into a sensuous kiss, sucking your lower lip into his mouth and grazing with teeth.

“Were you nesting, Omega?” he teases, between the sinful meetings of his lips with yours. You hum your affirmation before his tongue swipes across your lower lip, seeking entrance.

You open yourself to him in more ways than one; you slip your hands across his naked shoulders and explore the smooth planes of muscle, the dips and softness in between. You encourage him to lower down, to cover you with the length and broadness of his frame. His weight is a welcome one between your thighs and against the softness of your body.

“Was worried about you,” you whisper a confession against his lips. Dean briefly pauses, meeting your eyes.

“Thanks for waiting up,” he says, with a hint of a smile.

Your lips curve upwards in return. You reach up to caress his cheek, feeling the prickling of his stubble. Your fingers thread into his hair, and you pull him back down for a devouring kiss.

Dean’s brows furrow as he holds you to him, wanting to feel every part of your skin against his. His calloused fingers map their way down your side, and across your back to unhook your bra. His lips veer away from yours to burn a wet, heated trail along your neck. His teeth come out to graze your skin, down your throat, down the lovely valley between your breasts.

“Dean,” you gasp, encouraging him when his hand cups one of your breasts. He explores the other with his mouth, teasing a pebbled nipple with his tongue. Your fingers tighten in his hair, your thighs rubbing together between the cage of his knees in the mess of blankets. Already you feel slick forming at the apex of your thighs and slipping down in between.

“Beautiful,” he murmurs against your skin. “Fucking beautiful, you know that?”

You can’t help but smile. Your face warms either from the fire dancing shadows across your bodies, or from him, his attention, his warmth, and the heat in his eyes when they meet your again. His hand slides down your body, over your hip and squeezing your thigh as he opens you up further for him.

“Tell me what you want, Omega.” While I still have control, his tone implies. His voice is gravel and sin while his hand moves swiftly and smoothly up the inside of your thigh.

“Touch me,” you breathe.

Nodding, he hooks his fingers around the hem of your panties and slides them down. You help him kick them off. Afterward, his thumb brushes over your mound, making you sharply inhale and squeeze his shoulders encouragingly. His fingers dip inside your wet heat, his brows raising with a smirk, as he feels the sheer amount of your slick already coating his digits.

“Fuck. This all for me, baby?” he remarks.

You hold onto the back of his neck with both hands as you nod, biting your lip. Your hips begin to cant against his hand on reflex, urging him to touch you.

“Alpha, please…” you implore, in a ragged whisper. He swallows your plea with a ravaging kiss, but he still gives you what you want. His thumb circles your clit, earning a moan from you into his mouth.

Soon, two of his fingers plunge slowly inside you, working you open, drawing more gasps and shudders of pleasure from your body. His length continues to strain hard against your thigh, but for him, it’s worth it to draw every sound, every time your body writhes and arches against him, craving release.

With a few more purposeful strokes, your inner walls clamp tight on his hand, and a flood of slick coats his knuckles even more. You gasp his name, your hands squeezing his arms just as tight as your pussy around his fingers.

Your skin is beginning to get dewy with sweat, and he kisses some of it off you when he trails down your chest. You stroke down his arms, down his back, whatever you can reach as you catch your breath. But then, his name falls from your lips with a firmer tone.

Dean raises his head, and you gently push at his chest. His brows furrow in confusion, only for it to be replaced with a smile of surprise when you curl a thigh over his hip and guide him onto his back. His head just manages to fall on one of your pillows, but he still utters a small grunt. You giggle down at him, bowing to meet him for a kiss.

He smirks and holds onto your hips, playfully squeezing your ass. “My wily omega.”

“Thought I was your cheeky omega,” you tease.

He snorts. “That too.”

You giggle some more as you treat him to the same path of open-mouthed kisses down his neck. Except this time, you hook a hand behind his neck, and you trail your tongue around his mating gland. You feel his jolt of surprise, as well as his instinctive growl of pleasure in response to his mate. Or at least, not yet…

His heart pounds in his chest.

“Omega,” he says, a warning not to tease as his grip tightens on your hips.

The command in his voice makes you shiver, but you smile and nuzzle his cheek in affection. You kiss your way down his body, playing special attention to his nipples, his stomach, the soft V and the happy trail of light brown fuzz leading you down between his hips.

Your fingers slide down his hardened desire through his underwear, earning a grunt from him, along with a shifting of his body against the blankets. Your lips curve as you nuzzle him there as well, letting your lips drag across his impressive length.

His fingers tangle in your hair when you hook your nails around the waistband and free his cock from its confines. His boxers join the rest of your clothes somewhere, and finally you get to see all of him, as much as he takes in all of you. Your hand wraps around his girth, your thumb circling around the sensitive, weeping head of it. Dean groans, a sound from deep in his chest.

You don’t know this, but it’s been a while since anyone but his own hand has touched him. That’s not the only reason his body has been calling to yours, but it plays a part in how fucking good it feels, and how much more he wants you.

He feels your intentions when your hand moves down his shaft in a teasing caress, your fingers tracing around his knot. A shudder rattles down his spine, makes his desire burn hotter in the pit of his stomach.

He can’t fucking take it anymore. He needs you, needs to be inside you. Needs to take you the way his instincts demand.

He grasps your shoulder before you put your mouth on him. You blink up at him, with a question forming on your lips, but he hefts you up onto his chest by your arms. He cages you there with a kiss filled with abject need.

“I can’t. Can’t wait anymore,” he says. He drags his fingers through your folds and earns another moan from your when he finds your clit. “You ready for me, Omega? Need my knot?”

“Yeah,” you nod, agreeing against his lips. “Need you, Alpha—”

No sooner had the words escaped your lips, when Dean rolls you back underneath him. But this time, he guides you onto your stomach, then raises up your hips, until you’re on your hands and knees. You catch your breath as you regain your bearings, shooting an incredulous smile over your shoulder at Dean. He smirks back at you, but his gaze is intense, his pupils darkened with the alpha inside him. 

Still, he soothes a hand down your back and steadies you with a hold on your hip. You feel him slot himself behind you, guiding his cock at your entrance. His chest presses hotly against your back.

“Last chance, Omega,” he says, his voice tight with restraint.

You look back at him again over your shoulder, your mouth threatening to frown. You reach back and sink your fingers into his hair with a sharp tug. “Do it.”

He sinks into you with one smooth plunge. It’s a relief for both of you, your mingled moans echoing in the near silence. All that’s left is the sound of your quickening breaths, of skin against sweat-slick skin as you move together.

Dean brushes your hair away from your neck. He kisses and licks his way along your bare shoulder, and finally the back of your neck. You’re trembling by the time his lips find the sensitive flesh of your mating gland. It echoes with the pulsing from your core as he continues to drive into you.

“Alpha,” you gasp on reflex. You squeeze his arm; he has it wrapped tight around your middle. Your pleasure builds ever closer to that crescendo, especially as his thrusts become ragged, at an angle that zips delicious tingles through your core. “Close…just…I need…”

Dean isn’t so far gone. He hears you, and helps you, reaching his hand around to strum his fingers insistently on your clit, along with his final thrusts.

Finally, it tumbles you over. Your inner walls become impossibly tight around him as he draws out your second release—one that triggers his own. Dean groans into your ear; his knot swells and locks into place, and he spends himself deep inside you. He pants hot against your neck, but even though he fastens his lips there, he hesitates, once again making you shudder. 

“Do it,” you repeat, in a coarse whisper. You’re close to tears. “Please. Want you, Alpha. Need you…”

Once again, he hears you.

His teeth sink into the back of your neck, making you cry out. But your pain is quickly overshadowed by a deepest pleasure, thrumming along with his.

 Afterward, Dean holds you in his arms. The warm glow of the fire paints your skin in its light, despite the utter darkness in the rest of the house. 

While you both wait for his knot to subside, you revel in the fact that you know he’s content. You can feel it through the newly formed bond. He traces random shapes in your skin, which still glistens with a fine sheen of sweat. The fire he stoked doesn’t help to cool you down, but you don’t care.

Nothing else matters but this. You turn your head toward him over your shoulder. He meets you there with a gentle kiss, much more gentle than any other you’ve shared before. It feels right. 

When he parts from you, he presses another kiss to your forehead. Then he leans back a little and sighs. You feel his thumb trace the raw flesh around the claiming mark on your neck. A small shiver runs through your body. Maybe on another day, you’ll mark him in return.

“It’s too damn late,” he says, breaking the silence. “You realize that right?”

You shoot him a frown. “Too late for what?”

“For me to let you go,” he says. 

His words both warm you and make you sad. Just how little does he think of himself?

“Dean,” you say, endeavoring to be patient. “You’re my true mate. Do you know how rare it is that we’ve actually found each other?”

Dean remains quiet.

“And after everything you’ve done for me,” you add, “how can I not think you’re a good man? How can I not think this is right?”

He seems to consider your question. His gaze briefly falls, then meets your eyes again.

“You don’t know me that well,” is his answer, with a wry turn of his lips. 

You reach back to caress his cheek. “Then tell me. Tell me about, um…tell me about how you became a hunter. From your dad’s journal, I got the sense that it’s a family thing.”

A vendetta, you wanted to say, but you keep that thought inside.

Dean chuckles, dropping another kiss onto your shoulder. You feel the pleasurable rasp of his stubble.

“Yeah, more like a family business,” he says. 

He tells you why John Winchester started writing in that journal in the first place. Dean explains it in his own words, of what his family was before and after a demon broke into his brother’s nursery. Your heart continues to break for him, over and over, the more story he tells. Your shock can only reach new heights when he tells you about angels and demons and everything in between. 

There are moments where he pauses, needing the time to find his words. He’s talked for so long that his knot finally softens, allowing you to withdraw from him, just to turn in his arms and be able to see his face. He bundles you in the blankets to keep you warm, but he also keeps you close, with a loose arm around your waist as he continues. 

You sense that he’s not telling you everything. How could he? A lifetime of blood and wins and incredible losses; family gained, and family lost, endless saves, and so many near misses. You listen with rapt attention (and a lot of shock) to everything he can share, but your heart twinges when you see how he struggles to talk about his mother’s most recent death. Then his best friend Cas. 

You realize that this man, for all his self-deprecation, is a hero. More so than you already knew.

“After the whole Chuck thing was done, I thought we’d just…go back to status quo. Me and Sam against the world, you know?” Dean says. He gives a rueful smile. “Then Sammy tells me he knocked up his mate.”

You smile. “You’re happy for him though.”

“Course I am,” Dean nods. “He never thought he’d get to have all that. A badass chick who can keep him on his toes, a house, the kid, the whole damn thing. He’s downright respectable again.”

His brotherly pride and his humor are tinged with something else though. You think you begin to understand. His losses have weighed him down, leaving him aimless and living in that in between, not unlike the ghosts he used to hunt. You know the feeling. 

You thread your fingers with his, earning his attention. 

“You can have that too, you know,” you say. “I mean, I don’t want to skip ahead, but I feel like things are going well here, despite the whole busted ankle thing.” 

Dean slowly smiles, shaking his head. He brings your hand up to his lips. 

“Okay, enough about my Hallmark movie life. What about you?” he asks. 

So you tell him. 

You two continue to share and explore, both in words and with your bodies, until morning comes. 

It’s another week in the cabin before Dean insists on helping you down the mountain. Your ankle has gotten a little better, but at this point, you need to see a doctor. It takes a couple of days, going as slow as you need to. He ends up carrying you for most of the way anyway. You tell him over and over that he doesn’t have to, but your alpha is stubborn. 

Once he gets you back to the city, you two take a shuttle to the nearest hospital. X-rays are taken, and you get a new cast for your officially fractured ankle. At the very least, you don’t need surgery. You’re able to call your mom from there and let her know where you’ve been, that you’re all right, and best of all…that you’ve found your mate. 

You cry along with her on the phone, this time for a good reason. The best reason. 

When you’re eventually released from the hospital, Dean picks you up in a sleek, black Chevy that has your eyes wide. 

He grins at the look on your face. “Hey, sweetheart. Come meet my Baby.” 

He parks the car and keeps the heater running while he comes around to you in swift strides. He takes your crutches and slides them into the backseat, then helps you into the passenger seat. 

“It’s beautiful, but my God, how old is this thing?”

“She. She’s a she.”

“Oh, pardon me,” you say in amusement. “Do I have some competition here?”

Dean gives you a teasing smirk. “Well, technically, she’s been with me a lot longer than you.” 

You scoff incredulously. He laughs and takes your hand, pressing a kiss into your palm. You discreetly study him and marvel at how much lighter he seems. You don’t know how much is because of this, what your hand in his symbolizes, and how much is because he’s reunited with something important to him. 

“It’s okay, Omega mine,” he says, with a measure of desire in his eyes. “From now on, you’re my priority.”

Your spine prickles with the same arousal you can feel from him through the bond. You lean across the way and share a thorough kiss. 

Until a horn honks loudly from behind. You both jolt, but Dean’s face falls into annoyance. He shoots up a choice finger at the car behind him in the rearview mirror. You laugh as he begins to peel out of the curved pick-up and drop-off zone in front of the hospital. 

“Where are we going, Dean?” you ask, still smiling in amusement. 

“Wherever we damn well please.” He turns to you with a hint of a smile reforming on his lips. “Want me to take you back home? We can sort out the logistics on, uh…well, this.”

You think about it. He poses a good idea, but at the same time, you’re not quite ready for this part of the adventure to end. 

“How long has it been since you’ve seen Sam?” you ask.

Dean blinks at your question. He whistles lowly. “About a year. Jesus, since my nephew was born.”

You smile and reach over, resting your hand on his thigh. 

“Let’s go see him, then,” you say. “I want to meet your family. Then you can meet mine.”

After that, you two can figure out the rest, like where to live, and how you’ll live. 

Dean raises a brow. “Really? That’s like, a thirteen-hour drive.”

You shrug. “I’ve always wanted to go on a real road trip. Can we get some food first though? I’m starving.” 

He laughs and nods as he stops the car at a red light.

“What do you know? A woman after my own heart,” he says. His amusement eases into a gentler smile the longer he stares at you. You smile back, and you give into the urge to lean in again, meeting your lips with his. He brushes your cheek tenderly with his thumb. 

“I know what this needs,” he says lowly. Your brows draw together in a silent question. 

He pulls away to reach into the side compartment along the driver door. He fishes out a cassette tape labelled Zeppelin IV. You bite your lip and try not to say anything smartassed.

Damn, this man is old school. 

He skips ahead until he finds Track 7, just as the light turns green. A melodious guitar riff fills the car as he turns onto the main road with your hand wrapped in his. 

Made up my mind to make a new start.

Going to California with an aching in my heart…

AN: And that's all, folks! 🥹 I truly hope you enjoyed Against the Wind!

Like I said in a recent update, I have more stories in store for you guys. January 3 will be Part 1 of Outlander -- sequel to The Honorable Choice -- a Western AU with Dean as our resident cowboy! I'll post a sneak peek on that one soon.~

But in the meantime, I hope you'll let me know what you thought of ATW! 💜💜

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[roseverdict]

i kinda wanna know what kinds of insane unholy discourse sprouted up in ninjago over the idea of writing prime empire fanfiction when prime empire is a whole entire person and also a bunch of other whole entire people

#rosie babbles #ninjago

0 notes

🥋 i-am-okino-no-really

It has come to my attention that there are individuals writing fantastical tales describing adventures that I and others from within Prime Empire could potentially embark upon. While I would not request that these individuals cease in their actions, as several of these tales are genuinely quite entertaining, I do insist that people refrain from sending me any more of their…evocative…fiction detailing myself and my friends "getting it on freaky-style."

Unagami has also expressed distaste for the fiction depicting him as he was before he reunited with his creator, though especially when it is used for the purposes of depicting him "getting it on freaky-style." To be entirely honest, such purposes unnerve him regardless of the form used. If you simply must write such tales, please do not label them in such a way that a "Borgle" "Search" will immediately bring them up.

Please.

#prime empire

6.4K notes

🏎️ 7ace7-sevens-stee7ing-wheel

guys what do i do my url doesn't reflect blazey's name anymore but "blazey-h-speeds-stee7ing-wheel" is already taken 😭😭😭😭😭

24 notes

🌩️ jaybird-64

so apparently i still have my avatar from the game and idk how to feel about being able to make myself look like a dude whenever i want. i sure hope this doesnt awaken anything in m

WAIT STOP EVERYTHING I STILL HAVE AN ACTIVE CREDITS WALLET

IM BOUTTA DO SMTH WHOLLY UNWISE

#j64 chirps

314 notes

❄️ detectiveninja

Many, many thanks to @.bike-tones for the lovely drawing of myself and Pixal dressed as private investigators! I will be posting the art shortly, of course, but I just want to hoard it to myself for just a bit longer! 🤍

#my posts #re: #submissions #and #fanart

576 notes

🚲 the-purple-ninja

why did i just see somebody celebrating in the middle of the street

i nearly ran them over with my bike >0< i feel so bad

3 notes

🏎️ blazey-hype7-speeds-stee7ing-wheel

absolute galaxy brain idea hit me just now so OBVIOUSLY i went with it immediately no regerts

#heheheheheh

20 notes

🥋 i-am-okino-no-really

What is an "R.P.F." and why do people keep replying to me by mentioning it?

❄️ detectiveninja

I say this from the bottom of my heart: please do not ask. Only Kai dares venture to those corners of the internet with regard to ourselves and our adventures; the rest of us stay away for our own sanity.

⛈️ beta-jay-137

Why would you specify "with regard to [y]ourselves and [y]our adventures"? 🤨 /lh

⚡super-star-rockin-j

cmon @.detective-ninja leave my ninjaball run rpf alone!!!!! 😭

❄️ detectiveninja

Ah, so is that why I just heard you run face-first into the monastery wall?

🥋 i-am-okino-no-really

Now this is what I call entertainment. :)

#not prime empire

413K notes

🌩️ jaybird-64

ive got good news and wack news.

wack news: nearly got bowled over by a paperboy but like. i was in the middle of the road because of the good news so thats kinda on me

good news: SO, TURNS OUT IM A GUY-

#j64 chirps #all hail prime empire #free and instant top surgeey #*sugery #*SURGEU #*SURGERY #FSM #AAAAAAAAAAA

254 notes

😨 roseverdict

idk i just think ninjago's version of tumblr would be wild :D

[whorediaries-09]

they don't last enough;

pairing- sirius black x shy!reader warnings- hurt/comfort. a/n- hello hello! i'm not dead guys just a bit busy, sorry xx.

the diner

sirius thinks it's a rash decision. harry would say it was, anyways. but, his heart aches. he couldn't just leave you out in the middle of a blizzard. even though, essentially, you're just a stranger.

and he wasn't the only man who was making the rash decisions tonight. you had hopped into his car too, with a promise of heat and a charger. he promised a good, cozy bed, for the night.

the car ride back to his cabin is cruelly slow and silent. sirius doesn't like the silence. not when his heart thumps into his ears. but he doesn't say much either. while uncharacteristic of him to stay quiet, he thinks he'll oblige. shyness is etched all over your face. the way you bite your lower lip, the way you fiddle with the zippers of your cartoonishly buff puffer jacket, the way your brows are furrowed, and the way your shoulders are tight.

he doesn't want to bother you. he thinks of making a joke, but thinks against it, letting your stay in your comfort zone. he halts his car, parking it into his garage. you hop out, standing in the middle of his garden. your yellow jacket a startling sign against the pearl white snow around you.

he stifles a snicker. you look like a warning sign, he thinks. he jingles with the keys, walking closer to you, but not enough to intrude your personal space. his voice is quiet, a raspy purr,

'you gonna come inside, love?' he asks, the nickname rolling off his tongue so casually, it almost makes your breathe hitch. almost. you nod, before speaking up. it's more of a whisper, he thinks.

'yes,' you begin, 'i'll come inside.' he smiles, before running his fingers through his shoulder length black hair, brushing off snowflakes. he walks towards the front door of a cabin, a gesture for you to follow him.

you quietly tread through the ankle deep snow behind him. he's very kind, you think. you were essentially just a stranger, after all. it almost makes you think if he's a serial killer, or worse, a rapist. but you don't dwell on those thoughts. you can't. not when you see a genuine warmth behind his gray eyes. not when you see a genuine kindness in his gestures.

he fiddles with the key for a moment before unlocking his door open. he walks inside, dropping his keys in a chipped bowl which stands by the door. he's got no hooks for keys, you notice. he flops down on the couch, untying his shoe laces. his hair falls in front of his face, hiding the porcelain skin on his cheeks. it's stupid, and unfair, you think, how his skin appears so perfect even when the winter's winds are being so cruel. distastefully, you bite your lip. your tongue darts over it, feeling the chapped skin beneath it.

'you're gonna just stand there, love?' he asks, taking off his second shoe. his hair still covers his face, and even though you can't see him, you can hear the smile in his voice. it makes your stomach wrestle and churn.

'no, i-uhm-' you mumble, sheepishly. your throat feels like it's on fire, like it always does, when making conversations with others. he waves a hand, dismissively. he pats the space next to him,

'i don't bite, love,' he begins, 'come here.'

normally, you would've found the idea of a stranger asking you to sit beside them downright repulsive, but right now, you listen to him. the blankets on the couch look cozy enough. maybe you'd crash on this stranger's couch for the night. the snowstorm wasn't stopping anytime soon, anyways.

you sit down on the other edge of the couch. you shuffle with your own boots, pulling them out, before folding your legs. you hide your toes between the folds your thighs and calves create, sighing contently at the warmth of your own body.

'thank you,' you say. you scold yourself for not saying it earlier. you didn't want this man to think you were taking advantage of his hospitable nature.

'it's okay,' he says, 'i'm sure you would've done the same.'

you nod, silently hoping he won't make more conversation with you.

'what made you drive so recklessly in the snow anyway?' he asks. it wasn't a question you were caught off guard by. you were...expecting it almost. in fact, you had been thinking of a thousand different lies you could've come up with to answer this question. but now, your throat felt hot. constricted.

your eyes drift to the fire that burns in the fireplace. he's covering you up with a blanket. it smells of cinnamon and tobacco. it's a weird smell, but not completely repulsive. in fact, it's comforting, in it's own weird way.

you stare at your fingers. you can feel his stare on your form, gray, curious eyes waiting for a response. the fire crackles the wood, the flames consuming it. it reflects on the thin band of gold around your ring finger.

ironic, you think.

'i was trying to escape confrontation,' you say. it's a quiet whisper. anyone who wasn't waiting for you to speak would've missed it.

sirius raises an eyebrow.

'confrontation?' he asks. your tongue darts out, wetting your chapped lip.

'yes,' you respond, quietly. you clasp your fingers around your ring finger, fiddling with the band around it. 'my..uh, fiancé was-is cheating on me. i didn't want to confront him about it. not now, not ever, if that's possible.'

you're breathless, a little, by the time you stop speaking. your eyes reflect unshed tears. sirius thinks it's cruel, to put it shortly. he watches you fiddling with the ring. he wants to clasp his hands around yours. comfort you, soothe you. tell you lies that'll give you momentary relief from the hurt you feel.

'i'm sorry,' he says, finally. a little sheepish, he continues, 'what's your name?'

you smile, despite yourself. for the first time since you've met him, your gaze finds his.

it almost makes his breathe hitch. he thinks it's beautiful, in a cruel, fucked up way. the tears in your eyes. the flush in your cheeks. the tousle of your hair. the way your tongue and teeth constantly fidget with your lower lip.

it's ridiculous, he thinks. ridiculous because he finds you beautiful like this. bared out to him. open to him. begging to be patched up by him.

quietly, you offer him your name. he nods, though his mind is a little messy with the potential scenarios he could explore, with you. but he's not ruthless. with a slight curl of his lips, he says.

'i'm sirius black.'

'like the star?'

'exactly like the star,' he confirms. you nod. the name suits him, you think to yourself. his eyes shine like stars.

the silence that follows is marred by the snowstorm that howls outside, the fire burning under the mantle. the quiet sounds of your synchronized breaths. it's not awkward. at least, neither of you think it is.

'so-you, uh, how did you find out?' he asks, testing the waters. unconsciously, he scoots closer, afraid you'd break.

'lace underwear in my car,' you answer, bluntly. he grits his teeth. a single tear rolls down your right cheek. he grimaces internally at the sight. he can sense the pain behind your eyes, but a conflicting thought urges him. he thinks you look pretty when you cry. maybe he'll let you cry.

the thought, albeit tempting, is cruel.

his eyes follow your left cheek, and another tear follows pursuit. unconsciously, he drags his thumb on your skin, a numbing action to ground you, to soothe you.

he watches your throat hitch, breathing turn ragged at the unexpected touch. but it's only momentary. you lean onto his touch. it's rough, the pad of his thumb. it's calloused, the palm of his hand, which cups your cheek.

'you're okay,' he whispers. it's a lie, but neither of you acknowledge it. but it's a balm to your soul which burns to weep. yet you find yourself asking.

'am i?'

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****************************************

[simari]

Good Ol' Days

The sun hung high in the sky, casting a warm glow over the patio where Enzo and Alessandra had spent the morning setting up for Easter. Spring flowers filled the tables, and the air carried the aroma of roasted chicken and empanadas. As Enzo stepped onto the patio, he felt a wave of excitement wash over him.

“Querida,” he said, pulling Alessandra into his arms, “I’m so excited to see our families and spend time with you.”

Alessandra looked up at him, her eyes sparkling with affection. “Me too, Sweetheart. It feels just like old times, doesn’t it?” Before they could linger in the moment, Enzo spotted his parents across the yard. “There’s my mom and dad!” he exclaimed, breaking their embrace. He made his way over to them, a broad smile lighting up his face. Jose and Lori greeted him with open arms. “Enzo! It’s so good to see you!” Jose said, clapping his son on the back. “I’ve missed you guys,” Enzo replied, his tone warm and genuine. Lori turned her attention to Alessandra, who had followed Enzo. “Alessandra, darling!” she exclaimed, rushing to give her a hug. “You look wonderful!” “Thanks, Lori! It’s so great to see you!” Alessandra replied, returning the embrace with equal warmth. As they shared their greetings, Alessandra noticed her own parents nearby. Angelo and Mirabella were chatting, their faces lit with joy at seeing their daughter. Alessandra approached them, feeling a familiar wave of love. “Papa!” she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Angelo, who lifted her off the ground with a bear hug. “Look at you, my little girl! So beautiful!” he said, setting her down gently, his pride evident. Mirabella smiled, giving her daughter a softer hug. “You’re doing so well, Alessandra. Your new house is stunning!” “Thanks, Mom! I’m still decorating, but it feels like home,” Alessandra replied, feeling grateful for her parents’ support. “Okay, everyone!” she called out, gathering everyone’s attention. “Let’s eat! Enzo and I prepared roasted chicken and empanadas. For dessert, we have strawberry angel cake!”

The family settled around the table, laughter and chatter filling the air as they enjoyed the feast. Alessandra glanced over at Enzo, who was talking with his father. Memories of their childhoods danced in her mind—family gatherings filled with joy and love. As dinner wound down, Mirabella and Lori began reminiscing about their high school days, laughter bubbling up as they recalled old stories. Alessandra watched them with a smile, grateful that her mother had her best friend Lori over the years. After dinner, the music began to play softly in the background, and the family gathered around the patio, mingling and enjoying each other’s company. Lori approached Alessandra, a warm smile on her face. “It’s so nice to see you, Alessandra. It’s been too long. How have you been?” Lori asked, her voice filled with genuine concern. “Lori, you look great! I’ve been doing well, actually. I’m sure you saw the article about Enzo and me,” Alessandra replied, a hint of laughter in her tone. Lori nodded, rubbing Alessandra’s back gently. “Yes, I saw. I was sad to find out about your relationship that way, but it happens when you’re in the spotlight. Your mom and I always pictured you and Enzo together, but we never pushed it. You bring out a warmer side of him, Sandra, and for that, thank you.”

With that, Lori enveloped Alessandra in another hug before returning to Jose. Alessandra took a moment to chat with her parents, enjoying the warmth of their conversation. Mirabella continued to rave about the new house while Angelo inquired about her artwork and upcoming projects. As the evening wore on, the families said their goodbyes; the sun dipping below the horizon. Alessandra ended her night with a glass of wine, savoring the sweetness of the day. Yet as she settled into bed, an eerie feeling crept over her—a sensation of being watched. Despite the unsettling thought, she brushed it aside, closing her eyes and drifted to sleep.

[separatist-apologist]

We Never Go Out Of Style

Could end in burning flames or paradise

Summary: When Gwyn breaks up with her boyfriend on the eve of Nesta's destination wedding, Nesta Archeron has only one objective: set Gwyn up with her high school crush.

Note: Based on this tweet from @heathermcwrites: "One of my bridesmaids just broke up with her bf who was supposed to come to my wedding & I was sad for her for about 3 seconds until I remembered that her crush will also be at the wedding (single) and I'm now more committed to this 2nd chance romance than to my own marriage."

"I should also note that this is a destination wedding so there are EVEN MORE opportunities for uh…shenanigans"

Read More: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | AO3

She needed to get Jonathon out before anyone else noticed him. Azriel seemed genuinely surprised, frozen in place beside her. What happened when his brain caught up to what was happening and did something they’d all regret. She pressed her hand to his chest, cognizant of the place they were in. 

The music thudded in time with her own panicked heartbeat. Jonathan was going to ruin whatever was blooming between her and Azriel before it ever had a chance to start. She wanted to sink into the floor and die.

“I’ll be right back!” she yelled over the music. Azriel nodded once, his eyes blazing with shadow even in the dark club. He clenched his jaw but didn’t move as Gwyn maneuvered through the bodies for Jonathon. He seemed so out of place in his skinny tie and his buttoned up shirt, better suited for an academic conference than a boozy night club. 

Jonathan seemed to think her hand on his chest was a positive sign. His fingers curled around her sweat slicked wrist, causing Gwyn to look over her shoulder. Azriel was still watching, though if he saw the point of contact, she couldn’t tell—it was simply too dark.

God, this was such a mess.

“Outside,” she demanded, her fury rising to match the fear she felt. He couldn’t just show up and demand she talk to him. They were over? Hadn’t someone taught him that no truly meant no? Apparently not.

Outside, a crescent moon hung far in the sky, framed by the few spackling of stars visible beneath the pollution of artificial light. The air felt good, and Gwyn, wrenching her wrist from his grip, pulled her hair up off her neck in an attempt to cool herself off.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, resisting the urge to shove him violently to the ground. Asshole!

“I needed to talk to you,” he said, running a hand through chestnut hair. “You…Christ, Gwyn, I was thinking about calling in a welfare check.”

Gwyn nearly exploded, turning in a half circle to keep herself from screaming on the busy sidewalk, where any number of tourists might also call in a welfare check. At least it would be deserved.

“Breaking up doesn’t require a trip to the psychiatric ward,” she snapped when she was able to face him. God, how had they spent so long together? Looking at him, half illuminated in the harsh orange fluorescent of the nearby street lamp, all Gwyn saw was an insecure man. A pathetic man.

A man she’d once loved. She tried to pull up even an ounce of that love to keep herself in check, but found only revulsion. That was going to make the confrontation between them difficult. It was only moments before that she’d been afraid of the violence Azriel might exact, but now she was afraid of her own capacity for violence.

“Go home,” she said, trying to keep her voice level. The last thing she needed was a scene. 

“No,” he replied, taking a step toward her. “Not—not until we talk.”

Gwyn threw her hands up in the air, her frustration mounting. “What is there left to say?” As far as she was concerned, she’d said everything she needed to when they’d ended things. 

“A lot,” he challenged. “Is there somewhere…else…we can go?” 

Gwyn looked upward at the stars, smoothing out her hair beneath nervous palms. It had been so easy to let him be the bad guy on this trip, but the fact of the matter was, she had interrupted his proposal to break up with him, blocked him, and had let Azriel spend nearly two weeks antagonizing him. Did she owe Jonathon an explanation? 

“Fine,” she agreed, stalking off in the dark for one of the many hammocks not too far out. She wasn’t going to sit in one, but it got them away from people who had phones at the ready where they could record whatever explosion was brewing and then slap it on the internet for views.

To his credit, Jonathan followed along without remarking on how much he detested tourist traps, resorts, or the flip flops someone was louding smacking against the pavement. 

“I asked you to marry me,” Jonathan blurted out, as if he couldn’t keep the words leashed for a moment longer. They’d only just reached the grassy courtyard, where the pavement branched toward all the differing buildings the resort housed. A playground stood empty in the distance, an empty swing swaying slightly from a phantom breeze. She could hear the nearby splash pad spraying water for children that would return in the morning, distracting her for a moment.

“I don’t want to get married,” she lied. Gwyn did—just not to Jonathon. 

“That…why?” he asked, his tone slipping into desperation. 

Gwyn was shaking her head before she’d formulated a response. “I…”

Jonathan seized on this, reaching for her hand to pull her closer. “We were perfect together. Everyone thought so. I…I envisioned a future for us, Gwyn. A family, even,” he added, though he’d never once mentioned children to her. He didn’t seem the type—his writing and research would always come first. 

For a moment, Gwyn was overtaken by an image of it all. She’d stay home, because of course she would. Taking care of their home, their children, their lives while he soldiered on. Perhaps he’d reach the level of fame and success he’d always dreamed of, and she’d become a footnote in the back of his book. Her life was far less glamorous—researching private schools and arranging playdates or pouring through cookbooks.

It wasn’t a bad life. It simply wasn’t the one she wanted for herself. 

“I don’t love you,” she told him, pulling out of his grasp as she shook her head once more. “Not like that, anyway.”

Pure pain flashed across his expression, leaving them both paralyzed by the silence. It was a brutal, yet truthful, thing to say. Gwyn wanted to cry all of the sudden, though she wasn’t sure why. Leaving him had felt like a weight being lifted from her very soul, replaced by a lightness that left her buoyant. Now, though, she felt those familiar chains, attached to a cinder block that threatened to bring her sinking back into despair. Guilt began clawing at her throat, demanding she say something else to erase that look on his face.

She wasn’t a cruel person by nature. 

“How do you just stop loving someone?” he asked her, his own voice strangled with emotion. “I don’t understand it.”

Neither did she. Gwyn shrugged helplessly, already drowning in her misery. He was ruining what was supposed to be a good night. Already, it seemed a million miles from her, distant and half forgotten in her hazy memories. Had Azriel truly asked her to be his girlfriend? And had she actually been happy about it? Gwyn didn’t think she’d ever been happy for a moment in her life.

“I can’t explain it,” Gwyn said, trying anyway. “But I knew, when you asked, that I couldn’t say yes.”

“We’ll go to counseling—” he tried, but Gwyn’s hand flew up, palm facing upward to stop him as she violently shook her head.

“You need to go home,” she said again, this time with more force. “I’m not going to change my mind. This is over. It was good, but…we were all wrong for each other and I think deep down, you know that’s the truth.”

It was his turn to shake his head, his desperation hardening into something angry. Something mean. “It’s that guy, isn’t it? Azriel.”

“He has nothing to do with any of this,” Gwyn said truthfully, though the snappish way she said it likely did her no favors. Who cared if Jonathan thought she was being honest or not. He was looking for something to latch onto—something that would explain why she hadn’t fallen into his arms after this grand gesture, or agreed to work on things. He simply wasn’t ready to accept things were over.

He’d make her a villain to all their mutual friends, and that irked her. Maybe that was unavoidable. That didn’t mean she liked it, or wasn’t going to defend herself. She hadn’t even known Azriel when she’d ended things, though she doubted Jonathan would care about that distinction. Was she rushing into things with Azriel, she wondered? She'd jumped from one relationship seemingly into another with practically no time to breathe. What had started as a fun fling felt like so much more, but viewing it from the eyes of a stranger, Gwyn wondered if she wasn't just grieving the loss of her relationship with Jonathan. Would she wake up one day and realize it was all a rebound? 

She wanted more than that from Azriel. 

“No?” Jonathan challenged, looking over her head. Gwyn turned, suppressing a groan. Azriel was walking toward her, Cassian and Rhysand trailing a few feet behind with drinks still in their hands. It was hard to take either of them seriously, especially as Cassian’s mouth attempted to find the pink, curly straw without looking down at his beverage.

“I have this handled,” she called behind her, because she did. 

Mostly. 

Azriel was going to make things worse. She could see, from the expressionless look on his face, that he didn’t think so. They hadn’t been gone that long. 

Jonathan was spoiling for a fight, and Gwyn didn’t need to be clairvoyant to know exactly how it would end. Azriel had the kind of hands that weren’t strangers to blood and bruises, but Jonathan wasn’t the fighting type. Had he imagined this scenario playing out as he’d flown down? Fighting for Gwyn’s honor, as if violence had ever once impressed her.

She was quick to get between them, arms thrown out. Azriel stood close enough her fingertips brushed his shirt. It was comforting, in a way, though she wished he wasn’t here to witness this humiliation. It would have been much better to tell him about it when they were both in bed together, and she’d had enough alcohol to find the whole thing funny. 

“Is this because of you?” Jonathan demanded, half shoving Gwyn out of the way. Azriel held up a finger, his eyes flashing a warning.

“Don’t put your hands on her,” he warned, his voice cool. 

“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want,” Jonathan replied, getting closer to Azriel. It was almost comical—Cassian chortled when he saw how much taller Azriel was in comparison to Jonathan. How much muscle Az had on her ex. It made Gwyn cringe—she knew where this was headed, a train wreck she both couldn’t stop or take her eyes off of. “Did she tell you she had a man? Or was that part of the fun?”

Azriel merely looked down at him, fingers flexing at his sides.

“Don’t,” Gwyn pleaded softly. Azriel’s gaze cut to her, jaw tilting upward in agreement. 

“You sound drunk,” Azriel said instead, doing his best to diffuse a situation that was practically begging for a violent altercation. “You should go home.”

“Why don’t you come with…ah, don’t do that,” Cassian called, but Jonathan shoved Azriel, which did nothing tangible. Azriel didn’t budge, though his expression darkened. Shadows seemed to curl around him while even the temperature of the air dropped just a little. Gwyn shivered, waiting for a blow that never came.

He’d said he wouldn’t. She exhaled. 

“Come on,” Gwyn whispered, slipping around Jonathan for Azriel. “Go home, Jonathan.”

“Fuck you, you…you bitch!” he yelled, his anger getting the better of him.

Everything happened too quickly to track after that. Azriel’s temper snapped, his fist colliding with Jonathan’s face. Gwyn screamed and Cassian swore as Jonathan crumpled, his skull bouncing off the pavement before he went still. For one horrible second, Gwyn thought Azriel must have killed him.

Jonathan groaned a moment later, still among the living, though his brain slightly scrambled.

“Don’t ever talk to her like that!” Azriel snarled, surging forward to hit him again. This time, both Cassian and Rhy dropped the drinks, the plastic cups clattering to the ground as they grabbed their friend by the arms to hold him back. Some voice she didn’t recognize started yelling as Gwyn looked upward at the sky.

Everything felt ruined.

And she had no one to blame but herself.

—

“How’d you sleep?” 

Azriel looked up from the cot in the Italian cell he’d spent the night in. Of course Jonathan wanted to press charges, though the Italian authorities didn’t seem to care too much, one way or the other. They couldn’t care that much if Cassian was bailing Azriel out on his wedding day.

He’d assumed he’d spend the day there.

“Fine,” Azriel lied. He’d slept like shit. Gwyn hadn’t looked at him in the aftermath, as if she couldn’t stand the sight of him. She’d spoken to the police softly before Nesta and Emerie had taken her away, arms slung over her slumped shoulders.

Azriel didn’t regret his actions, even if he’d hurt her. He didn’t blame her for being angry, though. She’d asked him not to, and he’d let his temper get the better of him. It was just…fuck. Azriel ran a hand through his hair, his thoughts replaying on a loop. She’d told him she wanted him—only him—and for a moment everything had been perfect. And then her ex appeared, dragging her off with him and all Azriel could think about was how she’d get back together with Jonathan.

Of course she would. Seeing the two of them together…he couldn’t explain it. He’d always thought himself better than Jonathan until he saw the man in person, put together and crisp in a way Azriel was never going to be. His insecurities had gotten the better of him, and with Cassian and Rhys in tow, he’d gone to see what they were discussing.

He’d almost gotten away with his girl in tow, his temper in check. It was hearing her called a bitch that set him off—it was Jonathan’s voice, but it might have been his fathers, hurling another insult at his mother. 

He hadn’t meant to retaliate. One minute he’d been seconds from slipping his hand into Gwyn’s and the next his knuckles ached and blood was splattered against his cheek. Azriel ducked his head, following Cassian out after signing himself out and collecting the few belongings that had been in his pocket.

“It’s your wedding day,” Azriel said, blinking against the bright, cheery sun.

“Yeah. Nesta’s pissed,” Cassian agreed cheerfully, nodding toward Rhys who was leaned up against a black sedan in a three piece suit. 

Azriel groaned.

“You owe me money,” Rhys said as if he’d ever try and collect it. “Get in. You look like hell.”

Azriel only sighed, sliding into the back of the air conditioned car. A plan was made, haphazard and yet doable—they’d rush back to the resort where Az would take a very short shower, dress himself, and be waiting in the lobby to head down to the beach before Nesta could grow any angrier. 

It left him no time to talk to Gwyn, which was the only thing Azriel wanted to do. He needed to tell her he was sorry…he needed to tell her a lot of things, if he was honest. The truth about his feelings, which hadn’t seemed terribly important when they were standing in the middle of a busy club. He regretted that, now. He should have taken her out of there and opened himself up.

Not that he had much experience in that realm. 

Azriel sprinted across the resort when they were dropped off in the circular drive, heart pounding. He didn’t expect to see Gwyn in their shared room, but also didn’t expect to find all her things were gone. The room was neatly made up, and his things were exactly where he’d left them. Hers, though, were gone. 

Azriel’s heart sank into his stomach. Trying his best not to think about the implications of her coming home alone, packing up all her belongings, and leaving, he showered quickly, shaved the stubble from his jaw, and flung on his suit which still hung in the closet. 

Rhys was waiting outside for him with a carefully neutral expression. “You good?” Rhys asked. It was an opening—Azriel could have been honest with his friend and said no, he wasn’t good. What was the point? He wasn’t going to chase Gwyn down across a continent like her last lover. If she was done, Azriel would walk away.

Even if the thought of it made his chest impossibly tight. As he followed Rhys, who remained blessedly silent after Azriel nodded his head that he was, indeed, good, Azriel tried to take deep, calm breaths. At least on the outside, Azriel hoped he projected calm indifference, even on this inside he was drowning in his anxiety.

There was no time to talk once they got in the lobby. Elain Archeron had taken over, shoving him into a line beside Emerie. Gwyn was walking with Rhys, draped in a silken, silvery blue dress that made his knees shake. She hadn’t looked at him, her gaze fixed on Emerie as she adjusted a loose curl around her friend's face. Gwyn looked just as good from behind, which soothed him only a little.

Look at me, he pleaded silently. She didn’t, shifting in her flat shoes and fussing with the clingy fabric that hugged the soft curves of her body, but never turned to look back at him. Azriel focused on the color of her hair, curled softly as it hung loosely down her exposed back. Sunlight gleamed against the cinnamon colored tresses, bringing out the rich hues of red and brown. He flexed his fingers at his side and waited for instruction. 

A beach wedding was, perhaps, not a choice Azriel would have made for himself. The wind whipped Nesta’s veil around her face and the waves made it difficult to hear anything the officiant said, even when Azriel stood close enough behind Rhys that they were nearly back to chest.

Sand poured into his shoes and even when the ceremony ended with Cassian dipping Nesta into a kiss, giving Az time to covertly shake out his shoe, he didn’t manage to dislodge any of it. Azriel tried to be happy for Cassian and Nesta—he was happy for them. Truly. Cassian deserved every good thing he got, and Nesta was his favorite addition to their little group. 

Gwyn vanished with Emerie and Nesta, appearing occasionally for group pictures before melting into the background again. Azriel tried to track her, but it was as if she’d found a way to step into the very air itself and hide from him.

It seemed an obvious answer to his question. A better man would have just cut his losses—it was a vacation romance, after all. What had he truly expected? The wedding was over, and they would all be packing and heading home in the coming days. Sure, he’d asked her to be his girlfriend, but maybe that didn’t mean much, either. Maybe Azriel had only ever been fooling himself, thinking what was happening between them was ever going to be more.

The reception was a mix of indoors and outdoors, held in one of the ballrooms the resort hosted. It was on the smaller side given the size of their party, with an open bar and a balcony that overlooked the glittering ocean. 

Azriel’s first point of business was a drink. Straight whiskey, no chaster, poured as a double in a glass as if he wasn’t about to drink it like a shot. Which he did—twice. He hadn’t eaten since the night before, and had barely slept, which was hardly anything new. Gwyn was doing her damndest not to make eye contact with him, and though Azriel knew a confrontation was brewing, he wasn’t quite drunk enough for it yet.

If she was going to end things, he wanted to be thoroughly numb when it happened. 

Azriel found Emerie dancing with Mor and dragged her away with what he hoped was a subtle nod of his head. Her smile slipped into a grimace that made his stomach lurch. 

“Hey Az,” she said, holding her shoes by one finger as she walked across the swirled, marble floors. Gwyn was nowhere to be seen, missing with Elain Archeron doing god knew what. 

He didn’t know what to say, hadn’t planned that far ahead which caused him to stand there helplessly, mouth half opened as he waited for eloquence to flow from his lips.

Emerie seemed to understand, reaching for his arm to squeeze gently. “Just give her some space, alright?”

Space. “Yeah,” he agreed, throat tight. That was the last thing Azriel wanted to give her. Every inch of him was on fire, screaming that he needed to just explain himself, which had never truly been his forte. Neither were relationships, though. How fitting that it would end before it ever truly began?

That was his luck.

Azriel tried to find some enjoyment during the wedding. He shared another drink with Rhysand and Cassian and danced when they asked him to, feigning joy as though he felt it. It was easy enough to put on a facade, slap a smiling mask on his face, and spin Feyre drunkenly around the room while Rhys glowered from his perch on the wall. Azriel had almost found peace with Emerie’s advice until he saw Gwyn slip out of the room for the hall. He followed silently, well aware she didn’t realize he was there until she pushed open the door of the single bathroom and he caught it just behind her.

“Az,” she breathed, swallowing like she was scared. Azriel stepped into the room with her, hand reaching for the knob behind him while she pressed further in. The women’s bathroom was nice. The men’s was fine, though it smelled faintly of urine, but in the womens there was a full length mirror, a plush red sofa, and a backlit mirror.

“I need to go to the bathroom—” 

“Just…” Azriel’s eyes closed when the door to the toilet closed. A better man would have taken that for what it was and walked away, but he knew if he didn’t tell her how he felt, he never would. He’d bottle it up and let it haunt him at night, like so many of his other past failures.

“I know I fucked up. I’m sorry, I…” he swallowed, certain he sounded drunk and too much like Jonathan for his liking. “He shouldn’t have called you a bitch.”

She opened the door, her own eyes suspiciously glassy while her cheeks and nose were bright red.

“I’m not mad,” she whispered, arms wrapped around her frame. Azriel’s blood went cold. “I just think…maybe I need to be alone for a while, Az. To figure myself out.”

“Figure yourself out,” he repeated. She was ending things, then. He wanted to die. 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered as Azriel shook his head.

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, heart thundering loudly. “Take whatever time you need. I ah…I’ll be around if you ever…”

Fuck, he didn’t know. 

She nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I know.”

Azriel turned to leave, needing to breathe air that didn’t smell like her. He didn’t know what caused him to stop, the words tumbling from his lips before his brain managed to catch up.

“I’m in love with you, and I’ll wait,” he heard himself say, taking himself by surprise. A sharp inhale of air came from Gwyn, though he didn’t dare look back at her face. He was certain it would shatter him.

Azriel stepped out and took his own shaky breath of air.

It was time to go home.