#he's just a silly jelly spider :3

[wanderingfaee]

lol after that little mishap of Miguel kidnapping you from your date, he "snatches" (what Hobie proclaims) you up from the pestering annoyance, takes you back to his place and fucks you ruthlessly, everywhere in his apartment, while recording the entire spicy retaliated act with your phone.

Makes sure he gets a few good angles of his enlarged, curved cock driving ever so deeply and ravenously into your tightening hole. Gets a few decently good shots of your clenching, convulsing canal suctioning and leaking out his thick globs of cum and sends it to the said stranger that took you out for a "date", from your phone. Ever so proudly about it too.

Miguel never lets you out of his sight afterwards, and you just laugh and joke on about it at him.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

would love to see a pt 2 where he continues to give her tiny gifts because he doesn’t know reader knows! then one day she finally gives him a gift of his own and he then gets the guts to actually ask her out on a proper date :,)

this is so cute! im so glad lots of you wanted a part 2 :) thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌

secret admirer part 2

miguel o’hara x f reader

wc || 949

part 1 -> here

masterlist

It had been nearly two weeks since you found out the identity of your secret admirer, and to say you were shocked would be an understatement. You never thought Miguel would think of you in that way. Sure, he's attractive, sometimes charming and occasionally funny, but you'd never thought he'd be interested in you like you were him. 

You've always had a thing for him, but who wouldn't? Ever since you joined the Spider Society, you couldn't help but feel drawn to him. You found yourself thinking about him more often and dreaming about him almost every night. You knew it was silly as he'd never reciprocate those same feelings, so when you found out he was the one who gave you the rose, the thought of it all went to your head. 

For the first couple of days, you couldn't quite believe it. You'd find yourself thinking it must've been a mistake, a simple misunderstanding, something you were incorrectly interpreting. But all those wary thoughts were reassured when you received another gift on your desk the following day, a spider charm bracelet.

Every day since then, you found small, thoughtful presents in your office, cute little gestures; like the type of chocolate you've secretly been craving, a cup of coffee you'd desperately need when it gets to 3 pm, a fresh bouquet of flowers to brighten up your space, a new pack of pens when all your others ran out, just anything he thought you might want or need. All these tiny, considerate actions made it impossibly harder to contain your feelings towards him. He didn't know you knew, and you wanted to keep it that way, for the time being anyway. 

So for the last two weeks, you've received an abundance of gifts from your not-so-secret admirer, which has given you a little boost in confidence, like it made you want to do something bold, something in return. You want to give him something back, something that shows you care about him, something that shows how you feel. You wanted to express your repressed feelings, but though his feelings were clear through gifts, you were still uncertain of his intention. You didn't want to embarrass yourself, especially in front of Miguel. If he rejected you, you knew word would get around HQ, and there isn't a way back from that.

You didn't let those feelings deter you. You thought you'd start small, build up to something, build up to something bigger, but you didn't know what. Miguel is naturally a very closed-off man. A man with a thick exterior, rightfully so after everything, and so you were unsure what to give him, what he might like, what he might need. 

You wanted to give him something special, something thoughtful, just like all the gifts he got for you. For the moment, you settled on a generic and brief heartfelt note and a coffee, as he seemed like he needed one. 

'Thank you for all of my lovely gifts. I really appreciate all of the thought you put in. It made me feel so special

Love from your secret admirer’

You wrote the note in your best handwriting, adding hearts over your 'i's before folding it in half. You walk down to the cafeteria and order Miguel's go-to hot pick-me-up drink and a cupcake for you. You slot the note into the heat protector sleeve and pull out the corner so it can be noticed. 

Your knees were like jelly as you made your way to his office. Your nerves were unbearable, but you reassured yourself, thinking of all positive outcomes.

You flatten over your hair and straighten your clothes as you nibble your lips, adding a touch of colour to your face before knocking on his office door.

"Yeah?" he huffs in his usual way.

"Hi. Sorry is this a bad time?" you ask, cautiously making your way inside.

"Querida," (darling) he smiles, now speaking sweet and gentle. "What can I do for you?" his expression instantly softens at your presence. The moment he heard your voice, he melted inside. He'd become an uncharacteristic ball of mush around you. And it was happening right now. "You okay?" he asks, noticing the tense look on your face.

'Querida'? 'Querida'? he called you that often, but you didn't know what it meant. Why did he call you that? You shake off the feeling and walk closer to him. "Yeah—yeah. I got something for you. Thought you might need it," you smile, extending your hand. 

He softly chuckles as he strolls over to you, accidentally brushing over your fingers as he takes the cup from you. "How much?" he asks, sitting at the edge of his desk, facing you. He notices the quizzical look on your face and grins. "For the coffee, cariño. (honey) How much do I owe you?" 

"Oh—oh. No, it's free. It's on me," you smile, watching Miguel's lips sheepishly curl up. "It's a thank you,"

His head cocks to the side with intrigue. "A 'thank you'?" he repeats.

"Yeah," you smile. "Look in the sleeve," you nod towards his hand.

His eyes squint in confusion as he slides down the protector sleeve. He notices the note, and his features instantly lift, brightening almost.

He's silent for a few moments as he reads your letter. He's quiet, far too quiet, and it's making you nervous. It's only two sentences. Why is he still looking at it? Did he feel embarrassed for you?

His gaze finally meets yours, and his eyes soften, but you can still see a hint of something behind them, something uncertain, something apprehensive. 

"I want to take you out for dinner— tonight. Are you free tonight?" 

[bruciemilf]

Baby! Spider Socorro HCs (good parent Jake and Neytiri edition)

Called Jake “Mr. Silly” for the first 3 years of his life; That’s his name on all medical files, now. Mo’at calls him that when he’s being an idiot.

Often wondered through the jungle by himself. Max and Norm were often too engrossed in their work to notice the little bundle of energy and sunshine was gone, and that’s how Jake appointed himself as babysitter.

Pretended not to know trivial information just to have Spider explain it to him, and pretended to be impressed/shocked all the time. “Ikrans can fly?! No way!” “Pandora has stars at night? I didn’t know that!”

Contrary to popular belief, — Na’vi kids and teens love Spider; They play chase, hide and seek, make sure he doesn’t fall off trees, and give him jelly fish snacks when they see him.

After all, they can smell their Toruk Makto on him; It only makes sense.

All these gifts are taken straight to Neytiri. That baby is obsessed with her. He’s so shy and red cheeks and hides behind Jake’s legs when he hands her these presents.

To her frustration, it’s very adorable.

“Tiri? I brought you bebbies.”

She takes a very slow breath. “Berries.”

“And fishies.”

“Fish.”

“ yah ^^ they’re sweet ^^ from the pond ^^”

Slow breath in. Slow breath out. “…thank you.”

Jake brings Spider for dinner once. Then twice. Then once a week. Then, everyday. It’s become a pattern.

“Sweet,” he says, pointing to the fish he caught for them, tiny little things roasting next to the actual dinner. Jake smiles, “Yeah, honey, it’s sweet.” “Ha-ne?”

“It’s a term of endearment you use for people you love. Isn’t that right, honey?” He asks Neytiri, who’s cleaning knives and fixing him with a sweet look.

“Choke.”

Spider points to Jake, then to Neytiri, bright voice giggly, “Honey! Honey, honey honey.”

Someone get Jake a box of tissues that man is CRYING constantly. On his hands and knees begging Neytiri to let him keep Spider around. He’s so CUTE.

“Please?”

“He needs to be with his kind.”

“He HAS no kind. “

Baby Spider who’s barely bigger than Jake’s forearm, following him everywhere, trying to fish, hunt, fight, etc??? He so badly wants to be a mini Jake, gives that man baby fever fr fr

Refuses to get his hair cut; Everytime Norm brings it up, the little sunshine gets this unmoving look in his eyes. “I want to look like Mr. Silly.”

Drew his blue stripes himself; a powerful movement of compassion and strange affection hits Neytiri straight in the chest when she sees it. It’s then, she realizes, perhaps not all sky people earned her ire.

Made a shifty if not janky bow for himself. The string is too loose, the arrowheads are choppy, the wood too skinny. Neytiri takes it upon herself to fix it.

Fiercely protective Jake.

No, honestly, just turn yourself over to the RDA if you upset Spider in anyway. They’d be worlds kinder than him. Jake “try me bitch” Sully wouldn’t lay down belly up if his baby’s threatened

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

After the first post of someone openly sharing their spidersona, I achieved some bravery.

My spidersona takes place in a cyberpunk reality, their name is Alejandro Óvendalian Fernández, spider-bike, spider-motor, spider-cyber, no preference, as long as it's cool.

The general aesthetic of Alejandro is layered tech wear, but way cooler, they have a tank top with blue grafiti that reads "kruton" (aka, crouton.)

Ale's fit is partially glow in the dark, same goes for the spider suit!!

Alejandro's whole ideal is motorcycles. tech, IT, engineering, repair, you name it. making solo motorcycles, and gear for HQ. (And only using scrap metal!!!)

They can deal with any vehicle, multi tasking whilst drifting. sewing as they race, playing rock paper scissors whilst backwards on the motorcycle.. it's awesome.

They were bitten by a corrupted chip, meaning ale has no spider webs, but instead had to use electrical wires, work just as well!

Alejandro is good mates with hobie, and they usually stay at his place for no particular reason, he's just that cool !! :3

I wont go too off, I have so much to blabber about, I'm afraid it'd be overwhelming.

I am autistic, and love making self inserts, a ton!!! It's practically my whole life. So when I heard your open to hear about spider-sonas I got excited.

I hope this was entertaining to read, and I'd be willing to deliver more info if desired!! (⁠•⁠‿⁠•⁠)

“Ale, you’re like so cool! I’m always jelly of the Spiders with the brains.

Psst- hot tip: Hit up Margo for some parts, and I bet you and Hobes' could get our watches cracked and hacked in no time 😈 Huge party in my universe anyone?’

Thank you so much for submitting! I literally love Alejandro (and their name). Their futuristic knowledge with Hobie's edge probably results in some great inventions. With all those skills, hopefully Miguel isn't working them to death the way he is Diane, lol It was definitely interesting to read, and feel free to reply with more! Diane is always breaking stuff and goes to all of Hobie's shows, so they probably run into each other a lot!

________________________________________

This is apart of the Spider-Society Welcome Committee:

Welcome to Spider Society!

Have you ever been bitten by a radioactive spider? Are you aware of the multiverse? If you’ve answered ‘yes’ to these two highly-specific questions, Welcome Aboard! Miguel’s created the Spider Society Welcome Committee - and Diane ‘Disco-Spider’ is your advisor! Armed with welcome pamphlets, extracurriculars, and the greatest gossip, Disco is here to give every spidersona a warm welcome :) [Just a silly thing I’ve doing as art practice. I’m neurodivergent and love seeing spidersonas, so I do this in my spare time. I’d love to hear about yours if you have one. Submit or tag me in art of yours, send me an ask describing them, or just chat away to Disco - The Spider Society Welcome Committee is here for warm welcomes and rad-worldbuilding. No matter the spidersona, or the material you have :) It’s all love and fun]

[franklyshipping]

The Gooper Adventures ~ Day 1 ~ A Markiplier and Jacksepticeye Ego Fanfic

So, do you guys remember THIS lil guy? This lil tickle monster duder that appeared in the Schneeple segment of the Septic Ego Series Marvin the Mischievous (Part 3)? Well, after an inspiring ask, it's time for him to return to the limelight! Lets see what he gets up to, LET'S DO IT!

TAGGING: @schneeplesteinthetickledoctor @schneepleestien @dr-schneeple-switch and @thegoodnewsdoctler @doctoripliler

'Come on, your naptime finished half an hour ago!'

Dr Schneeplestein sighed...at his coat's inside pocket. Was the doctor going crazy? Had he finally lost the last shreds of plot that were already questionable within him on the first place? Thankfully not. He was simply trying to coax a drowsy, grumpy, baby tickle slime monster out of his pocket. Meanwhile, the room was filled with badly repressed giggles and snickers, which made Schneeplestein look up from his task and glare.

'Shut up.'

The owner of the mirth, Dr Iplier, only giggled more audibly at his friend as he replied.

'Aw c'mon it's funny!'

Schneeple pursed his lips and tried to ignore him...but it was a little funny. They were both in Iplier's doctor's office since Dr Iplier was to be undertaking the responsibility of looking after Schneeple's little squishy assistant whilst Schneeple went to spend some time with his kids. It was something that Schneeple had long fought for, and seriously deserved, and Iplier had jumped at the chance to be able to look after the little ball of cute for a week. At the moment though, said ball of cute wasn't exactly being super cooperative....Schneeple's inside pocket was warm and comfy dammit! Schneeple sighed and spoke in his softest coo.

'C'mooon, it's time to wakey wakeeey!'

All the doctor got were a few whiney gurgles....so the doctor sighed once more, and muttered.

'C'mon Dr Iplier is here, don't you want to say h-AH?!'

As soon as Schneeple had mentioned Dr Iplier, there was a sudden squeal from the doctor's pocket along with a burst of green moving up his arm. Before he knew it, Gooper, the squishy green glob, was making high pitched, excited squelching noises whilst bouncing on the good doctor's shoulder.

'Oh so you'll come out for him but not for me? I see how it is....'

Schneeple pursed his lips at the glob on his shoulder, but soon chuckled fondly when he received a loving purr and a nuzzle to his jaw. It was impossible to even feel the tiniest hint of displeasure when Gooper was around, he was just a beacon of comfort and happiness and anyone who met him just instantly adored him. Schneeple extended his arm to an excited Iplier, who extended his hand to meet it, and soon Gooper had slid down into Iplier's hand by using Schneeple's arm as a slide.

'Theeeere's my favourite little goopy menace!'

You know, I feel like there's always something particularly charming and attractive about a man who doesn't care about any 'image' he may uphold when it comes to being faced with something cute. Instant appreciation for cuteness is an important quality and was certainly something Dr Iplier possessed. Iplier cradled Gooper in his hands and crooned over him like he was his own baby, whilst Schneeple watched on fondly since he didn't have the inner strength to interrupt quite yet.

'Whoooo's my favourite squish in the whole wide woooorld? It's you!'

Iplier cooed as he softly tapped his fingertips against the little creature's underbelly, which made him let out higher pitched gurgles and squees as he wobbled like jelly in Iplier's hands. Schneeple snorted.

'And people say you're the serious one out of the pair of us.'

Iplier's cheeks went a soft pink as he looked to his smugly grinning friend with gently pursed lips.

'Shut the fu-I-I mean...shush!'

Schneeple withheld a snicker at the other doctor's sudden urge not to swear in front of the innocent little slime, but he could relate honestly since something about using bad language around Gooper just felt wrong. Schneeple's smile then returned to being fond when Iplier went back to softly molly-coddling the creature; Schneeple was happy that Iplier was going to take really good care of him while he was gone....though he was going to miss him. On that note, Schneeple then pulled out a bundle from inside his coat, and he muttered as he held it gingerly; it was one of his knitted jumpers, and he set it on Iplier's desk.

'Uh, he uhm, likes to sleep in my jumpers or coats otherwise he gets quite shivery-b-but don't leave radiators on too warm because he can overheat! A-And he's not so good with huge height-'

'Henrik....Henrik breathe.'

Iplier placed one of his hands on one of Schneeple's shoulders, his other hand still cradling Gooper as he gazed at his friend softly, but with imploring reassurance. Iplier knew Schneeple was worried, he knew that this would be the first time he was parting with his little monster, who he had such a close bond with. Iplier smiled gently.

'You know I'll keep him safe, I would literally rather step on a pin than let him get hurt!'

Schneeple's worried, tense face had slackened partially at Iplier's interruption, and then completely at his words. The good doctor let out a gentle sigh through his nose as the tension mostly left him; he knew he was being a silly worrier, but that's what happens when you care for something so damn much.

'I know....I know...'

Schneeple murmured gently as he looked to Iplier, but the other doctor knew that Iplier meant it, and that Gooper was going to be okay. The, Schneeple crouched to the level of Iplier's hand, where Gooper let out a happy purr at seeing Schneeple's face close and at his height. He smiled and spoke softly.

'Now you be good okay? I'll be back in a week okay?'

The little conglomeration let out a string of gurgles, before letting out a particular high pitched croon that made Schneeple smile. Over time, the doctor had realised that the little guy did have his own language of sorts; that noise typically meant ''I love you''. After one last farewell pet and a farewell to Iplier, Schneeple then set on his way, nervous...but happy. Iplier now stroked Gooper with the pad of one of his thumbs softly as he exclaimed in an excited, giddy voice.

'I bet we're gonna have lots of fun! I know all of my friends are going to love you!'

The little mound of squish wobbled joyfully, and despite the language barriers here, he definitely understood what was going on, and was certainly excited to meet lots of new people! He loved all the wacky green tall ones, but he really wanted to see what other ones looked like! Gooper mewled curiously when Iplier leant down closer and then proceeded to whisper.

'Plus....they're all beyond ticklish! Like the septics, all Ipliers are ticklish as hell!'

Gooper let out a loud squeak as Iplier giggled deviously, since he was beyond excited to be able to unleash this adorable bundle of ruthless tickles upon all the patients he had this week. Little did he realise however, that Gooper's little brain as processing. His brain was indeed little, but a brain it was nonetheless. All Ipliers....ticklish. All. And...this one was a doc-tor....Iplier. This one....was an Iplier. Gooper's form suddenly started to make low, and arguably mischievous sounding, rumbling noises, which made Iplier furrow his brows curiously.

'Gooper....you uh....you okay? You hungry or something?'

Iplier was somewhat correct. The doctor watched as the globular being seemed to morph, looking like its back half was protruding upwards as if the body was in a pounce-like stance. Iplier's eyes widened....Schneeple had warned him that he was a lot clever than appearances suggested. Iplier's recollection had come far too late though, for now, Gooper was speeding up his sleeve at a pace that would honestly terrify the fastest spider.

'W-Woahwoah-hEY NO WAIT NOT ME I MEANT THE OTHERS NOT MEHE!'

Iplier let out a premature giggle, which only spurred Gooper to continue in his mission. The green ones were ticklish, and had tasty, spicy laughs, and now Gooper wanted to know what the Iplier laughs were like! So, he set about burying himself in one of Iplier's armpits and making his body vibrate and rub against the tender skin, and the little monster was rewarded by an embarrassed squeal and a train of deep giggles from the embarrassed doctor.

'Ohohohoho m-my fuhu-ahaha! Gehehet ohohout gehet ohohohout!'

Iplier was torn. He couldn't bring his arm down otherwise he could squash the poor creature, and he didn't want to risk pulling him away in case he hurt his soft little body....but at the same time it tickled so goddamn bad! Iplier had never felt a sensation like it, not from any fingertips or any tools he'd felt before. It was like thousands of soft, warm, vibrating fibres that were relentless against his skin, and it was making the man do something similar to a one-man-tango. Plus, Gooper's constant crooning was just....teasy.

'Y-Yohohou're sohoho mehehean!'

Iplier's cheeks went pink when, after his exclamation, Gooper growled lowly into his hollow....before scooting down the doctor's ribs so he could race around the doctor's toned tummy like it was a racetrack! Needless to say, Iplier yelped and jumped about a foot in the air before having to grip his desk for support; all he wanted was to be able to curl up and hide as he cackled....and transition from a tango to a near belly dance.

'NOWAIT-IHIHI DIHIDN'T MEHEAN IHIT!'

Gooper of course paid him no mind, he was too busy racing his own little shadow around and around the doctor's stomach, having one hell of a fun time! Iplier's cackles shook his body as his dimples showed themselves, appearing with his wide grin as he threw his head back and wailed.

'STAHAHAP OHOHO GOHOHO SOHOMEWHEHERE EHELSE!!'

At the doctor's cry, Gooper decided to oblige since he wasn't completely cruel! So, he slid down in a leisurely manner to the man's waist, before shuffling back and forth along it jovially; or rather, Gooper would shuffle across one way and their do his own wiggly moonwalk when shuffling back across the other way. Needless to say, this was not the development that Dr Iplier had quite idealised.

'NAHAHAHAHEHEEEE!'

One magnificent squeal later, the doctor transitioned from being doubled over, to being down on his knees, and to finally lying on the floor on his back with said back being sharply arched. Iplier's face was a bright red and he was exhibiting twitchy kicks and sudden jolts at the new tickling; it was of course absolute torture for him.

'BAHAHAHAD BLOHOHOB BAHAHAD BLOHOHOOOOB!!!'

Gooper, meanwhile, was just enjoying this feast of laughter. He liked tickling this Iplier, his laughter was thick and warm, and it only got Gooper feeling more excited for the week to come! The Iplier's skin was so tender and soft to nuzzle, but it was firmer and fun to latch onto in other places too, and Gooper honestly felt like he was being spoiled! At hearing the Iplier call out so loudly though, he decided to relinquish at his waistline and start scooting up his torso so he could see the Iplier's round oval segment with all the features on the front.

'Ohoho.....oho jeheheez....my....ahahaha....'

Iplier was caught between breathing for relief from the mercy, and tittering his heart out from the feeling of Gooper moving across his skin up towards him. Either way, Iplier couldn't keep the smile off his face when Gooper popped up at his collar; the doctor booped him softly.

'Yohou.....nahaughty....awesome lihittle thing....amazing....'

Gooper seemed to just glow and swell at the praise, wriggling and hiding himself in the crook of Iplier's neck and gurgling constantly with joy. He had made this Iplier very happy, because he knew what happy people looked like. They had two pinkish plump things that would stretch and curve when they were happy. Parts of them would turn pink and red, their two special orbs would get all shiny, and then they'd always hold him close and say things loving things. Gooper didn't know exactly what they meant, but he knew that they loved him; he felt all the waves come from them when they held him close...and he loved them too.

'Well Ihi guess wehe....can look at the appointment book....lahater....'

Iplier whispered breathily, the new warmth at his neck helping him relax even more before the babysitter and the babysittee had a well deserved nap. Which one is which is up to you, because I think love and care can be felt by everyone....when it's shared by everyone. 

WOOOPPPP DONE HOPE YA LIKE THIS FIRST PART LEMME KNOW IF YA DO WOOOO LOVE YOUS XX

[sicklylittlesnowflake]

Hi! I know you have probably got prompts coming out of your ears and you are most likely sick of writing riverdale by now but I love your fics and I was wondering if you could do a fic where jughead gets a really bad fever (possibly whilst the gang are all staying at Veronica's) and suddenly becomes really venerable and clingy to Archie and the rest of the gang and he starts to hallucinate because of the fever and sees his mom telling him that she doesn't want him. Thanks!

(You’re too sweet anon! I don’t think I’m getting sick of writing Riverdale any time soon! So don’t worry about it! I absolutely loved this prompt!! Also, this ended up WAAAAY longer than expected, and also became way more angstier than I expected?? Also, i don’t anything about hallucinations so apologies for inaccuracies and general stupidity on my part! Also, there is panic attacks and self hatred, and verbal abuse coming from a parent, though it is a hallucination. Just a heads up! Stay safe!)

Jughead had been lied to his whole life. Not just the typical “you’ll become Spider-Man if you eat your veggies!” or “uh, about Santa Claus..” More on the line of “I promise I’ll stop, Jughead, I’ll get better” or “Yes, Jughead, you can visit one day, just not now.” It was beginning to rub off on himself.

He’d lie to himself; telling himself and everyone around him that he was a lone wolf, that he was fine like this. Fine being on the outside looking in; saying that it gave him a different, richer perspective on life and that he preferred it this way. But as much as he loathed it; there was a side to him that he would never really admit. There was still that part of him that yearned to be a part of something, to be able to live his teenage years like a normal kid. Jughead just wanted to be normal. The way his brain worked, he just wasn’t wired to be it.

When Veronica insisted they all had a sleepover at her house on the last day before Midterm, Jughead’s heart lifted. He wanted this so desperately; be able to be a normal teenager hanging out with his friends like in some 90s teen movie. He would never let anyone know this though; and he complained and grumbled about it leading up, saying how stupid and cliche this was, how it wasn’t his scene. However, deep in his heart, he anticipated it so much, he couldn’t even sleep the night before.

That was also because he had gotten sick.

Of course he had, knowing how lucky his life was. Besides; he had it coming anyway, it had been a grand total of three weeks since he had gotten sick, which was a long time for his standards, and it was going to happen sooner or later.

Friday morning he had woken up sneezing; and to his relief Archie had already gone downstairs so he was safe then. He got himself ready, made himself as presentable as possible and passed his croakiness as the fact that he had just woken up. He roughed it out throughout the day; and made it through without any suspicion so Veronica’s Sleepover was definitely happening. That was all that mattered.

Braving his illness and toughing it out the whole day, suppressing his symptoms and keeping his energy and healthy facade up completely drained him. Halfway through the day he could already feel an uncomfortable heat radiating off his body, as well as a drowsy feeling.

At the end of the day, he had a sure splitting headache as well. But he tried his best to ignore it, wanting to have this day of feeling like he belonged so badly. He kept in his little scream of protest when the group decided they would walk to Veronica’s with this chilly air–which was alright, but the fact they would walk to Kevin’s house to get his stuff, go back to Archie’s house to get their stuff, then next door to Betty’s, and then back to Veronica’s.

Had he been well, this Trek wouldn’t have been a problem at all, but he had a rampaging fever and his legs turned into jelly and he couldn’t even support himself. The gang walked in threes and twos; Veronica, Betty and Archie in front, with Kevin and Jughead not far behind.

Halfway through the walk; Jughead found himself subconsciously leaning on Kevin using him as support. Kevin raised an eyebrow; it wasn’t like he was uncomfortable or anything, in fact he loved physical affection, but this was odd. Jughead didn’t always like to be touched, and had a very limited amount of people who he allowed to touch him (Archie, Fred, Betty, Jellybean and maybe his parents).

Of course, Kevin wasn’t offended by this, respecting Jughead’s boundaries because he was a decent person. But he and Jughead had rarely touched; and while the boy was soft, it was weird. It concerned him almost. Jughead began to shiver very lightly, clearly trying to suppress it.

Kevin frowned, “Jughead, are you cold??”

Jughead shook his head, “N-no.”

Kevin thought about it for a bit, and spoke quietly so the three wouldn’t hear and make a big deal out of it. It was quite easy because the three were obnoxiously loud.

“Can I hold you?” He asked cautiously.

Jughead smiled, he appreciated how much Kevin respected his boundaries. He’d allow anything that’d stop him from this cold, “Yes, you can.”

He had an arm around him and held him close as they walked the remainder of the way to Veronica’s house.

Jughead was somehow able to further repress his symptoms for the next three hours. They had been singing to stupid songs way off key, dancing to Veronica’s loudspeaker, playing silly games and being wild. Of course, Jughead denied his enjoyment and acted like his normal cynical self, but was secretly enjoying this all. He felt like he belonged.

Then, the energy began to crash, and they ended up sprawled across the floor, making stupid jokes, sharing stupid memes. A sudden silence dawned over the group.

Suddenly, Archie’s stomach began to rumble and they all burst into laughter, despite it not being funny at all.

Veronica giggled, sitting up and pulling her phone out, “I’m guessing we should order pizza now?”

Betty turned to face Jughead, giggling, “I’m just really surprised that Jughead hadn’t brought it up the moment we arrived!”

The group began to laugh again, with Jughead laughing along to cover his lack of appetite. Jughead’s appetite was notorious, he could eat any amount of food for a long amount of time, and ate far too much. If Jughead wasn’t hungry, something was wrong. It never translated to his weight though, which effectively annoyed everybody. Perhaps his great metabolism made up for his poor immune system.

“Hello Pizza Hut? I’d like to order one 3 meateor pizzas, two pepperoni pizzas..” Veronica turned over to Betty and squinted at her, “..and one Hawaiian pizza, please.”

Betty pouted, “Pineapple belongs on pizza!”

“Shut up, Betty, get your atrocious pizza choices out of our faces,” Kevin gawked, scrunching his face in disgust.

Betty stuck her tongue out at him, “Anyway, why’d you buy 6 pizzas, Ronnie? We only needed 5.”

Veronica whacked Jughead playfully, “Because Jughead’s appetite demands for a serving for two?”

Jughead’s heart sank at the prospect of eating two pizzas, knowing that his stomach just couldn’t, and if he didn’t eat the pizza, his friends would know something was up and this would all be over.

Jughead punched Veronica’s arm gently, laughing along to mask his terror and his panic at her decision.  

As they waited for their pizza to arrive, the gang sat in a very tight circle, in that their shoulders were all touching. They told stupid stories, talking around random things, but Jughead loved it.

The group began to move on to the more traditionally “feminine” side of things as hair was beginning to be done, new makeup was swatched, makeup was being done, as well as hand lotions, creams and other things. Perfume, was also being tried on, much to Jughead’s annoyance, as it was irritating his already tender nostrils.

As the healthy four’s energy declined, so did Jughead’s, at a worryingly rapid pace. He could begin to feel the heat returning to his weakened body, beginning to feel lightheaded and exhausted again. He felt weak to the bones, so heavy and he couldn’t really focus on anything.

The group conversation took a deep and emotional turn as the pizza arrived, which brought the attention away from Jughead who had barely eaten two slices. The five ate the pizza as they discussed family life. They were all very solemn about it, very understanding and supportive.

Archie spoke about how grateful he was for his family. He talked about how it was sometimes hard that his family wasn’t quite what it used to be, and how he missed his mom greatly, but was so grateful they both loved him dearly. He spoke about how much he loved them; that he could always feel safe and like he belonged.

Kevin spoke next, talking about how he missed his mom and wished she was still on this earth. He told the gang funny stories and how much of an amazing woman she was; and how grateful he was to his dad. He was setting a good example to him, promoting justice, and how accepting he was of him. He appreciated how much his father tried, and loved him, despite how hard it must’ve been for him and how he felt like he belonged.

Betty talked about how horrible it was to pretend to be this typical, all American family with no faults. She hated how overbearing and stifling her parents could often be. However, at the end of the day, despite her parents often doing bad things, it was often out of love. Of course, it didn’t make what they did right, but Betty knew that she was wanted and loved, and that she belonged somewhere.

Veronica talked about how hard it was to see your parents, who you once believed to be perfect, turn out to be anything but that. Seeing her father and mother in a different, darker light was tough and scary, but it made her realise people were not black and white. Her parents were not perfect, and did horrible things but they had some good, that good being they loved her greatly and unconditionally. She felt safe.

As Jughead listened, he found himself leaning on Veronica’s soldier out of pure exhaustion and fatigue, feeling extremely feverish and unwell. He and Veronica never interacted beyond playful and teasing banter, which made Veronica feel very odd. It wasn’t like Forsythe Pendleton Jones III to be affectionate.

“Jug?” Archie pushed gently, letting him know that if he had anything to say and contribute it was his turn.

Jughead froze; unable to relate to anything they had said. Of course, he knew his father loved him, and wanted him, but he couldn’t feel safe with him. He wasn’t even sure about his mother, feeling unwanted and like he didn’t belong. He didn’t know what to say, and he’d rather lie than admit it. He’d rather pretend he was some other than this mess that he was, something other than broken parts.

A tickle in his sinuses caused Jughead to move off Veronica and to the side, and just before he released he realised that if he sneezed to the front, he could spray Kevin, but if he sneezed to the side he could potentially spray Archie. His mind settled on Archie, who had the strongest immune system, and sneezed into the crook of his arm, towards Archie.

Jughead sniffled, “Sorry Arch.”

Archie shrugged, “You didn’t even spray me. You feeling okay Jug?”

Jughead smirked, not wanting anyone to worry over him, “It’s just Veronica’s horrible perfume.”

Veronica chuckled softly, but didn’t even press further because she knew something was up. This whole leaning incident was not something to sneeze at.

“So, Jughead, anything you wanna add?” Kevin asked gently.

Jughead blinked, his fever seriously interfering with his emotions and he felt choked up, feeling his chest tighten a little and his breathing begin to pick up.

Surprisingly, it was Veronica who picked up on what was happening first, and smiled gently at Jughead and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. She grinned at the group, changing the topic as she knew this was something that Jughead wasn’t ready to talk about, “So, let’s stop being Shakespearean Tragedy characters, and let’s watch The Breakfast Club?”

Jughead curled up on the luxurious couch while Kevin started to set up the movie. The Sherrif’s son kept risking glances at the younger boy, concerned for him. Archie and Betty were off gathering snacks and drinks for all of them. Veronica went off to collect some blankets. The  couch was so soft and magical for Jughead’s aching, weakened body, and he curled up within himself to obtain maximum comfort.

Archie and Betty walked back in with two large trays with foods of different assortment. One tray was filled with bowls of popcorn, chips and drinks, while the other was filled with sweet foods like cupcakes, tubs of ice cream and other candy packets. The fact that Jughead hadn’t reacted immediately was extremely concerning for Kevin.

Veronica then returned, her small, petite frame completely bombarded with a huge pile of enormous, fluffy blankets.

Betty giggled, “Ronnie! You look like a little fluff monster.”

The raven-haired girl dumped the blankets on the floor, to which Jughead immediately snatched up a thick, fluffy blanket. The rest followed in his steps, and wrapped the blankets around them as the movie began.

Despite receiving a little bit of warmth from the blanket, which he had completely wrapped around himself so he had resembled a burrito, he was still shivering. He knew this had to be his fever because his friends barely had their blankets around them, claiming it was too hot.

Betty laughed at the sight of Jughead, “Jug, you look like a caterpillar in a cocoon.”

Jughead rolled his eyes, “Im going to become a beautiful butterfly, Betty.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,” Veronica quipped, sticking a tongue out as Jughead glared at her playfully.

As the movie went on, Jughead tried his very hardest to stay present, to be in the moment and relish this beautiful piece of cinema before his eyes. However; he was at a battle with this rampaging fever, a fever that was completely roasting him from the inside and out. But surely he was fine, this scorching fire within his body surely had to be normal? He was sure his fever wasn’t too bad, he was fine.

He was fine right here, surrounded by people he loved. They were a harmonious group of youth, all complex and amazing in their own senses and Jughead held this moment dear to him, knowing he didn’t get this often. This wasn’t something that was meant for people him, it was a luxury. These people, were so brilliant and beautiful, who were loved deeply by him and their families. They were wanted, they belonged.

Then it dawned on Jughead that he was not at all like them.

They were not a harmonious, thriving group.

He was not a part of anything. He watched them from a window, inside a cold, dark room, stifled and trapped. He watched them in the colourful outdoors, smiling, in the sun.

They were all the colours of the rainbow and Jughead was grey; barely human, not like the rest of them, isolated. An outcast, a danger to society, unlovable. A throwaway, a malfunction made in the factory to be thrown away into a dump, pretending it never existed.

Was he even here? Was this just his brain warping himself into some fantasy land where he could actually be loved for him. Perhaps he wasn’t even him, maybe some version of himself that wasn’t a culmination of broken parts.

His mother stepped into the living room, and time ceased to exist. Everything froze; nothing moved. So still, so silent, so eerie. Jughead’s breathing began to pick up, sweat trickling, unable to breathe properly, his lungs begging for oxygen. His mother’s stare was so cold and empty; not full of love and care like Fred Andrews.

It was perfect for an empty vessel like himself.

“Mom..” Jughead whimpered, beginning to shake violently, in fear, in misery.

For once, she smiled. She wasn’t proud, or loving. She was sympathetic, she looked down on him, looking down on this pathetic child. She took his arms, grabbing on them tight, constricting him.

“Look around you Jughead, look how colourful they are. Rich, beautiful colours..You’re grey, Jughead. You’d just ruin those beautiful shades..Do you really want to do that to them? They don’t want you, Jughead. They create a colourful painting and you just..make it dull.”

Jughead felt tears dreaming down his face, “M-mom, please, that’s not..that can’t be..”

She came closer to him and stared at him, examining his face, she looked disappointed.

“..They always said that a mother loves her child unconditionally. Why is it that I can’t? You’re barely even human, Jug. Who are you? Why can’t you be normal?”

Jughead whimpered, “..t-there’s nothing wrong with me, A-Archie said–”

“..Archie’s too kind, Forsythe. You’re broken. Something’s wrong with you. Everything’s wrong with you.”

Jughead couldn’t help the ugly sobs escaping his mouth, “..M-mom, s-stop..”

“I don’t want you, Jughead. No want wants you. Stop lying to yourself,” His mother said coldly.

Jughead shook violently, retreating into himself and sobbing.

He was broken.

He couldn’t be fixed.

No one wanted him.

He was alone.

Betty blinked as Jughead made a small noise, but didn’t quite hear him. She looked over and saw him shivering, she frowned. Betty came closer to him and hugged him lightly, so he wouldn’t be shocked by the sudden touch. They hugged like this for a while, until she got too hot under the covers and kicked them off.

As her body came into contact with Jughead’s skin, she jumped slightly, startled at the sensation. Jughead was burning. This couldn’t be right. This couldn’t be good, he shouldn’t be this hot.

“..Juggie, you’re sick!” She exclaimed, causing all three remaining friends to whip their heads towards their direction in concern.

She put a hand on his forehead, the heat way too warm to be normal. “Oh my god, he’s so warm..this can’t be good, this isn’t normal,” She said frantically.

Kevin made a frustrated noise, “Dammit! I knew it..I should’ve said something earlier!”

“Oh my god..Jug, why didn’t you say anything?” Archie asked, slightly annoyed, but mostly angry and disappointed with himself.

“..M-mom please..that can’t not..that can’t be..”  Tears began to steam down his face.

“What?” Veronica asked in confusion, looking at Jughead with concern. She waved a hand in front of him, “Jughead? What’s happening here? Your mom isn’t..”

“..T-there’s  nothing wrong with me.. A-Archie said–” Jughead slurred.

“Fuck! Guys, he’s hallucinating! This is bad!” Veronica said frantically, ridiculously worried and anxious.

Archie came closer to him, sitting on his other side and came close to him, hoping he could somehow get through to him. His heart was hurting, he had no clue what was happening to his best friend. Silent tears turned to sobbing, the most heartbreaking noise he had ever heard.

“J-Jug,” Archie whimpered, so scared and at a loss on what to do. “Please Jug, snap out of it! I’m so scared..Jug, please..”

Veronica and Kevin were dashing away, looking for a towel to soak in cold water and some medicine and a glass of water, respectively.

“..M-mom, stop!” Jughead cried, shaking violently.

Betty was close to tears, “Jug, Jug..please, you’re safe..you’re safe, please..”

Kevin and Veronica returned with the items they were looking for.

“Get those blankets off him!” Kevin instructed, and once Betty obliged, he placed the cold towel on his forehead, and another on his neck.

“..I’m b-broken..something’s wrong with me..y-you’re right, mom. They don’t want me.”

“What?!” Veronica exclaimed, completely appalled, she approached him and held one hand, “Jughead, we want you, all of you, all the best bits and the bad bits.”

Kevin held the other, “Jughead, you are so loved.”

Betty was crying at this point, scared out of her mind, “You’re like the sun, Jug. You shine on all our lives..”

Archie cuddled with him, “Jughead, there’s nothing wrong with you. You are not broken, maybe a little chipped, a little bent, but you’re still whole. We need you here with us, please, you’re not alone. We’re right here Jug. We’re not going anywhere.”

A sudden clarity came into Jughead’s eyes and he looked around, seeing loving, worried faces. He was surrounded with so much love, and care, that it was all too much for Jughead to handle and began to cry again. This time he wasn’t sad.

“I don’t know what to say,” Jughead choked.

“Then don’t say anything,” Kevin said gently, giving him a kind smile.

“You’re tired, Jughead. You should take some medicine and get some rest. You’ve got a really bad fever,” Betty instructed.

Archie looked sad.

“..Jughead, I didn’t know..”

“..that I was sick, I know Arch, I shouldn’t have hidden it from you..I was just..so excited..for all of this.”

“..no, not that. I didn’t know you felt like that. That you felt so alone,” Archie said quietly.

Jughead shrugged, and smirked to cope, “..You know how I am, the lone wolf.”

“No,” Veronica butted in, not taking it in the slightest.

“Jughead Jones III, you are not alone. I am not having it. I, Veronica Lodge, make it my duty to ensure that you are not. We are all here for you, and you are a part of this.”

Jughead could only smile weakly, before yet another headache took over.

“..Thank you.”

When Hermione came home in the next 20 minutes, she took one look at the boy and got her personal doctor to come in and help Jughead. Jughead protested for so long, but like Veronica, she wouldn’t have it.

Veronica made sure Jughead wasn��t going anywhere, and that he would have his much needed night with his best friends. She would not let him be alone, especially not tonight.

For remainder of the night, he felt wanted, surrounded by love by this weird, but amazing makeshift family. It was then when Jughead realised that grey looked stunning next to these bright, vivid colours.

[themurphyzone]

His World: Fandom

Request from @universe-queen-melissa. 

1. Crisis on the Seven Seas! S.S Mummy’s Curse vs S.S Neon Lights!

“Your primitive weapons are no match for my superior blasters!”

“I summon a demon to jinx your blasters so they only shoot jelly!” 

“Neon Lights shall rise again! We may be few in number, but we shall prevail against the tragedy that is Cleopatra’s personality!”

“Mummy’s Curse is the true winner! We actually have hints on our side! All Danielle ever does is complain about her dysfunctional family!” 

“Danielle risked her life to save Time Ape from the evil clutches of Professor Yorek! And she did it with a broken leg and armed with only a taser!” 

“Cleopatra had a duty to her people! Her intellect is matched by only the Man of the Past, Present, and Future!” 

“Sara, Milo, I’m getting take out from that new Mexican place that opened up downtown. Is there anything you two would like?” Brigitte carefully stepped over the mess in the living room, grabbing her car keys from a table. Sara and Milo paused to allow her through. 

“Extra spicy salsa please!” Sara said. 

“A side of black beans too,” Milo added. 

“Okay, I’ll be back in half an hour and Martin should be home in-wait, is that my eyeliner?” Brigitte took a closer look at Milo’s face. 

“I wanted to get into character,” Milo replied. “It’s kohl.” 

“Looks like a good make up job,” Brigitte said. “Just promise me you’ll clean all this up when Martin gets home. You know Murphy’s Law flares up when he’s extra exhausted.” She waved, exiting through the garage door. 

Sara stood up, dropping the catcher’s helmet she was using as a mask. “And this concludes our monthly ship war. Let’s see, four tallies for Mummy’s Curse, four for Neon Lights, and ten for draw.” 

“Stay tuned for March’s ship war, folks! An episode premiering in two weeks is going to give Mummy’s Curse extra ammunition!” 

2. Fan Mail

“Let’s see, bill, bill, fan mail, fan mail, coupon for fast food, another letter from ol’ Blockhead-this one should be fun, fan mail, bill.” Orton set everything down on the kitchen table, pouring himself a cup of coffee before setting aside the bills. 

The first two pieces of fan mail weren’t that interesting, one of them consisting of a rant about how Adjunct Faculty Member Zone was the worst thing that had ever happened to the series. It wasn’t his proudest moment, but the college students used as extras for that series made the work a lot more pleasant than most people assumed. 

Ah, the third piece is from Sara Murphy, Orton smiled. He had a wall on his bedroom where he pinned his favorite artwork and letters from his fans. Sara Murphy had five of her letters up there so far, and several more stashed away in a box in the attic. He updated the wall every few weeks, preserving older pieces in a scrapbook. 

He decided to save it for last, since he would likely need some positivity after inevitably choking on Block. 

Dear Orton Mahlson, 

Consider joining the Bureau or else. I have the operatives and technology. All you have is your silly, inaccurate prime-time sitcom that undermines the potential of real time travel and mocks our scientists to no end. We will hunt you down if you continue to refuse this offer.

Sincerely,

Mr. Block.

Orton slammed a pen on the table, deciding that his response wasn’t worth killing a few trees and furiously wrote a response on the back of the same paper. That was sure to tick him off. 

What’s up Blockhead,

You’re looking about as handsome as a donkey who wallowed in a peat bog. I take that back. I refuse to insult donkeys when they actually do a great service for people around the globe. I will repeat this for the millionth time. I am not joining your ridiculous organization. For what purpose does it actually serve? Or are you just upset because you got all nostalgic for a bunch of nuts that went extinct? Boo-hoo. Cry me a river. Maybe you can finally replace the Nile. Oh, wait that would just cause more pollution wouldn’t it? 

-Orton Mahlson

He zapped the paper with his own Temporal Transporter. Amateurs. His version had a streaming option for new releases. 

Now he could finally read Sara’s letter in peace. Maybe this would snap him out of the funk Block always threw him in.

Dear Orton Mahlson,

I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned how much Dr. Zone means to me and especially my little brother, Milo. You see, Milo has a certain condition which causes people to treat him differently. Sometimes it’s easy to shrug off. Other times it’s not. It was more difficult back then, before Milo was old enough to handle situations on his own. As his big sis, it’s my job to look out for him. Since we first discovered Dr. Zone, it opened up a lot more opportunities to spend time together as siblings and we’re always look forward to new episodes. Thank you for such a wonderful show!

Your biggest fan,

Sara Murphy

Orton had a new favorite letter now. And there was no better honor for his biggest fan than a spot on the refrigerator. 

3. Contagious

Milo stopped scratching Diogee’s belly, listening to Sara groan from her bedroom. Diogee whined and pawed at Milo’s hand, unhappy that his belly rub time was cut short. “Sorry, boy,” Milo said, knocking on her door. “Something’s wrong. Sara, can I come in please? Are you all right?” 

“Coming,” Sara opened her door, looking unusually cross. She was still in her pajamas, and her empty stomach probably wasn’t doing her any favors either. “Hey.”

“Are you sick? You skipped breakfast,” Milo noticed. 

“I’m sick all right. I caught the dreaded-Milo, you can take the mask off. It’s not contagious. I think. I just have a really bad case of Writer’s Block.” 

Milo tied a mask on Diogee. “I don’t want him getting it either,” he said, his voice muffled. 

“I uploaded Chapter 17 of my shipping fic three weeks ago, and I’ve been trying to finish the confrontation between Professor Yorek and Danielle, but writing about infiltrating a secret, heavily-guarded facility is harder than it sounds,” Sara opened the document containing the half-finished chapter, letting Milo quickly skim through it. 

“Have you tried imagining it in your head?” Milo asked. 

Sara shook her head. “No, I just type what comes to mind.” 

“Okay, how about we try this?” Milo set a Time Ape doll on the windowsill, placing a plastic container around it to act as a cage. “Professor Yorek has captured Time Ape and is holding him for ransom until Dr. Zone arrives with the loot from the Titanic? Right?” Sara nodded. Milo placed a Professor Yorek action figure on top of the plastic container. “But it’s all a front to distract Dr. Zone?” 

“And Danielle is torn because she was childhood friends with Yorek and watched him change after his obsession with the time stream grew. I don’t know how to properly convey that and have her infiltrate the facility at the same time.”

“But she also loves Dr. Zone now, so that makes it even more difficult,” Milo mused. He placed a crocheted doll of Danielle next to Professor Yorek, positioning them so they were holding hands. “What if she had little reminders on her way? Remember the episode “Instrument of Sorrow” where Danielle had a flashback of her playing the glockenspiel with Yorek and he taught her his family’s song?” 

Sara nodded. “A musical reminder is always good. If I play that song while writing that particular part, it would probably help a whole lot. There was also the episode “Spider Lily” in which spiders were used to symbolize Yorek’s growing darkness. And Danielle has arachnophobia in canon, so that would absolutely terrify her once she snaps to reality when she realizes there’s a horde of man-eating spiders in the vents!” 

“See you’ve got it!” Milo took off his mask. Diogee had long discarded his, using it as a chew toy instead. “But maybe you shouldn’t write on an empty stomach. Studies prove you think better after you’ve had breakfast!” 

Sara laughed. “You’re right, little bro. I’m totally going to crush my readers’ spirit after this chapter!” 

“That’s great! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish my fanfic too,” Milo sat down at the computer in his room, opening the document, fingers poised to type. And he waited. And waited. 

After ten minutes, Milo had resorted to trying to balance his pencil on his nose in an attempt to think. His eyes widened. He was right. He was right all along. 

“Sara, you lied to me! Writer’s Block is contagious!”

[tialovestelevision]

Buffy vs. Dracula

So… my viewing order recommendation tells me to go with the first episode of Angel season 2 before moving on to this. But I really, really want to see this episode tonight, so I’m doing it first. Let’s go! 1. Opening on Buffy in bed. I think that’s Riley selbow… yep. He changed positions between shots, though. And now Buffy’s outside running. Someone’s running from her. It’s probably a vampire. Yep. She staked him. Now she’s back in bed with Riley. Opening credits. Emma Caulfield is in them, but Amber Benson isn’t. 2. Buffy and Riley are at the beach. They’re tossing a football. Buffy knocked Riely down. Xander, Anya, Willow, and Tara are sitting. Xander is cooking bugers. Failing to cook burgers. Willow tried to start a fire, but now there’s a huge storm. Willow says she didn’t do it. Apparently, she’s right. Why is there a castle? 3. People are at the castle getting a giant box full of dirt. And someone came out of the box and killed the movers. 4. Giles has Willow archiving his ancient texts to digital. He’s been doing projects all summer. Giles wants to tell Willow something in confidence. He’s going back to England. Willow doesn’t want him to leave. 5. Buffy is having dinner with Joyce. Buffy is going on patrol, and she found a vampire, which she’s slaying. And someone's forming out of fog. The vampire she’s fighting just hit a press slam, but she did a hurricarana and staked him. Now the guy from the mist is stapping out of the shadows. He says they’re not going fight. He’s Dracula. Buffy is delighted. 6. Willow is talking to Xander. Buffy has fought a few Lestats. Dracula says Buffy is famous. She tried to stake him, but he misted out of the way. That’s new. Xander and Willow arrived. Xander is very funny. He turned into a bat. Dracula did, I mean. Not Xander. 7. They’re at Giles’s place, fangirling out about Dracula. Anya has hung out with Dracula. She thinks he’s cool. Giles doesn’t know how Dracula gets his powers. Riley and Xander want to fight Dracula now, while Giles checks the library. Buffy is going to bed. Or to sleep with Riley. Riley wants her to actually sleep. 8. Anya and Xander are being stalked by a wolf. Anya isn’t going back to Xander’s basement. Xander is, though, except he just ran into Dracula. Xander is offering to box, but Dracula hypnotized him to be his emissary. Dracula finds Xander strange and off-putting. 9. Riley is at Spike’s crypt. Looking for information. Dracula owes Spike 11 pounds. Spike thinks Dracula’s done more harm to vampires than any Slayer by publicizing their weaknesses. His powers are just show. Riley wants to kill Spike. 10. Buffy’s at Joyce’s house, asleep. Dracula’s coming in the window as mist. Is he immune to the invitation taboo? Buffy woke up. But he’s using his hypno-eyes on her. He is going to bite her. And did. 11. She’s waking up in her bed again. How did Dracula bypass the invitation taboo? Is mist immune to it? It wasn’t a dream, apparently. 12. Giles’s house. Buffy does not one a jelly donut, but Xander does. Xander is helping them research his dark master. Bator. Buffy is out of it. Willow is still trying to talk Giles out of leaving. Xander’s about to eat a bug. Buffy’s going to fight Dracula. Riley goes after her and makes her take the scarf off. So now everyone knows she’s under the thrall of the Dark Prince. Xander is arguing that Buffy isn’t under Dracula’s thrall and eating bugs. Now Buffy is going to stay in Xander’s basement while Willow and Tara do a protection spell on Joyce’s house and Riley and Giles hunt Dracula. 13. Turns out Joyce invited Dracula in. 14. Xander just locked Anya in the closet. “I’m supposed to deliver you to the master now. There’s this whole deal where I get to be immortal. You cool with that?” So now Buffy’s going to Dracula’s castle. 15. Xander delivered the Slayer to Dracula, and is leaving them because they must not be interrupted. Buffy brought a stake, but Dracula made her put it down. She needs to rethink that thrall thing. Giles and Riley found the castle, though, so they’re coming in through the front door. One of Dracula’s brides is following Giles. Dracula says that they are alone, and there is much he has to teach her. He’s offering her a taste of his blood. 16. Riley just found Xander. Riley just knocked out Xander. Yay Riley! Meanwhile, Giles just fell in a hole. He didn’t get knocked out, though. He found Dracula’s brides. They seem very interested in him. Dracula is still talking Buffy into drinking. Which… she’s doing. And his thrall is broken. “Wow. That was gross.” “You know, I really think the thrall has come out of our relationship.” His blood helped her find her true nature… and that’s the Slayer. She’s kicking Dracula around now. They’re having quite the fight. Riley found Giles, though. And got him away from Dracula’s brides. “No more chick pit for you.” Dracula and Buffy are still fighting. She has a torch, but he went mist, and she staked him as he resolidified. He fell, dusted. “Where’s the creep that turned me into a spider-eating man-bitch. You know what? I’m sick of this crap. I’m sick of the guy who eats bugs and gets the funny syphillis. As of this moment, it’s over. I’m sick of being everybody’s butt monkey.” “Check. No more butt monkey.” They’re leaving, but Dracula starts to re-form. And Buffy stakes him again. He starts to reform. “I’m standing right here.” He gave up. 17. Giles’s house. Giles is talking to Buffy. She’s talking about her nightly attempts to kill things. Dracula’s understanding of her power. She says she needs to know more about what it is to be the Slayer. She’s scared, though. And she needs Giles to be her Watcher again. He seems to agree with her. Though he’s also oddly down about it. 18. There’s a girl in Buffy’s room at Joyce’s house. Joyce says she should take her sister if she’s going out. So now… sister? Overall: That was fun. Bizarre and disturbing - Dracula overrides free will, and that’s creepy as hell when he does it to Buffy in spite of being very funny on Xander - but a lot of fun. Dracula was something unique among vampires, with interesting motivations and fun powers, and the whole story was just… fun. The episode didn’t have a lot to say. There was character development, with the thing with Giles thinking about leaving and Buffy wanting to learn more about her powers, but the core of the episode was fun Dracula stuff. I’m good with that. After the trudge that was Season 4, opening the fifth season on epic silliness was the way to go.