#he's just a little buzzed

[prlssprfctn]

AU, where Bruce accidentally gets de-aged (physically and mentally), and the first person he bumps in is... Red Hood.

To Jason's defence, he didn't connect the dots at first. He was just patrolling around his usual turf, thinking of nothing in particular, when he saw a small child in a ridiculously serious suit, sulking around Crime Alley. He looks distraught, and considering that he looks rich, it is no surprise - that is not a place for him. So, he is either lost or something happened, right?

He takes the helmet off, as he usually does when he is dealing with kids (they got scared easily) and carefully approaches a brooding baby.

'Hey, shrimp. Where are your parents at?'

That said shrimp turns around, his big blue eyes looking confused and lost, and Jason thinks he looks awfully familiar.

'I am not shrimp,' he protests instantly, pouting at him. 'And they are somewhere... here. We just left the movie theatre together!'

Jason glances at the abandoned movie theatre, back at the little rich boy with a familiar frown, and it clicks. This is his fucking dad. Suddenly, a kid - but it is fucking Bruce Wayne, for sure.

'Was watching Zorro by any chance?' Jason still asks, just to be sure that he is not going insane.

Bruce - and it must be him - beams at him.

'Yes! This is a great movie, by the way.'

Oh, hell. At least, he didn't witness his parents' death just yet. Jason wasn't sure he would be able to deal with his father being so small, and mourning his mom and dad. He would probably cry himself at some point.

'Hey,' Jason calls out for him slowly, squatting down; God, who would've thought that this little shrimp would become so tall and big in the future. 'Aren't you... You must be Thomas's kid, right?'

Okay, yeah, Jason is going to lie to this kid. Because there is no way he manages just to steal Bruce as a stranger to bring him back home; it is still a kid, even if it is his father. Right?

'You know my dad?' Bruce tilts his head, little fingers tugging on the hem of his jacket; suspicious.

'You could say that,' Jason nods. 'Alfie... I mean, Alfred called me. Asked me to pick up a kid, since Thomas and Martha got an urgent call.'

Fuck his life and stupid life choices. What the hell he was even doing? He looked like a mugger; or like a psycho. But Alfred was his best bet - he could call him, after all; ask, well, support his idiotic made-up story.

'No one calls Alfred Alfie but my dad,' Bruce pouts in a very, very spoiled manner.

'Well... I do. We served together in the army,' he blurts out.

His armour, apparently, is enough a proof for the kid to nod slowly.

'Okay. But you gotta take off your strange mask first,' Bruce folds arms on his chest.

...???

Did this kid just agree for an unknown man to take him home? Like this? Who could've thought that this pouty child would become the most paranoid man alive in the future?

'Uh, why?'

'So I can remember your face and do an identikit, if you turn out to be a bad guy,' Bruce smirks stupidly. 'Duh.'

Jason is going to cry. This kid is so cute.

'Yeah, duh,' Jason huffs, but despite his better judgment takes the domino mask off as well. 'Go on, take your time. My identikit should be the prettiest, shrimp.'

Bruce... gawks at him. His eyes are comically wide now, mouth open, and then, he jumps a little closer to him - oh, God, he is jumping when excited? - putting his hellishly cold hands on Jason's cheeks.

'Woah. You look like dad.'

'Uh,' Jason nods awkwardly, and because he is an idiot, adds a joke: 'We are brothers, actually. Just don't talk much.'

...Apparently, little Bruce can't take jokes. Because he lets out an adorable gasp, and throws himself on Jason as if they knew each other for ages now.

'Uncle? That's so cool. You look like Zorro!'

Damn this little kid, and this stupid family. Damn Joe Chill and the night he killed this kid's parents. Damn it all. Bruce might be an asshole sometimes, but he was so... cute and innocent.

'Thanks, shrimp,' Jason slides a domino mask back on, picks up little Bruce with one arm, and grips a helmet with another. 'Come on, let's go home. Alfred will make your favourite tiramisu.'

'You know my favourites?!'

Jason sniffles.

'Yeah. Yeah, I do, kid.'

If he gets so emotional over this kid, he has no idea how worse Dick is going to be once he finds out.

Oh, this is going to be one hell of a night.

[starry-bi-sky]

have just recently decided that Danny's nickname (one of them at least) for Dick in the blood blossom au should be "Bobby"

why bobby? Robin -> Rob -> Robert -> Bob -> Bobby

this confuses. so. many. people. who do not know the origin behind the nickname. It's the same kind of bizarre, seemingly unconnected nickname that Bruce has, where Danny calls him "Buzz."

[faaun]

Trying 2 be so normal rn

[sukugo]

the thought of an unhinged feral satoru where sukuna has to be the one to placate him, and he's so calm and collected as he takes his wide-eyed boy into his arms and runs hands along him and whispers soft words into his thrumming skin until satoru gradually melts into him

[sysig]

Portal 2 replay review: Hrmnnngggngmngm 💕💖💝💞✨❤️💗

[forlovewithyou]

"When you have someone around you who can't tell you're unhappy"

I like Ty’s expression of hating the world but being helpless🥴

[xenomorphicdna]

Flames,, blanket boy, my beloved

I gotta draw more art like this of him, he's such an odd creature I love him so much

There's so much to his character that I never talk about aaa I'll make a lore post eventually

[quietwingsinthesky]

genuinely debating myself back and forth whether lucy calls him “vidic” or “warren” in her internal narration because the difference between these in Monumental for the purposes of writing her

[velvetjune]

technically alan wake 2 final draft (spoilers ahead) is a Happy ending for the characters, but the spiral writers room video calling his enlightened self a possible demiurge or demon unsettled me far more than the original ending. that version, by his nature, already existing and overlapping with past loops, influencing and manipulating things without known reasons (to us and the Alan we play). it really makes that Alan out to be something else entirely through ascension and that this is inevitable. this could partially be because I kept seeing people say that the final draft was the happy end with a happy resolution for everyone, but I can’t stop thinking about what this means for Alan—and Alice!—going forward. That, along with the direct parallels to Yötön Yö playing out. It’s SO much to unpack

[vendarkoe]

playing slow damage rn why'd they have my beautiful genderqueer king cut off his hair at the end of his route what are we doing to our queens

[wackywatchdotcom]

list of tadc characters who would LOVE neopets:

kinger

gangle

[mercymaker]

god idk how this never crossed my mind because i always just sort of assumed that lathorien's parents were both dead (which was the reason for his passion to help other drow).

but like.. what if he had cousins? aunts? uncles? just one of those? like.. what if mal has living kin just at least one!! somewhere!!

what if when astarion finally finds the little drow community for mal, they're also there? still alive? what if they remember her???

[achillean-heartbeat]

good afternoon beautiful people i am going sick in the head thinking of Neil wearing his orange bandana. just neil and his bandana,,, yeah,,,

[lungthief]

really funny that sebastian stan went from being in like the worst movies in the entire world (and black swan) to being a lead in a huge tv miniseries and a couple of really interesting and well received movies but not to ever enough to distance himself from being known as That Guy Who Played Captain Americas Gay Lover

[dootznbootz]

hi! im so curious abt whether or not you have any hcs/thoughts abt when helen and penelope found out abt what happened to agamemnon and then later clytemnestra? (srry if youve answered smth similar before! i looked thru the tags and didnt seem to find anything)

With Penelope, I kind of have it planned where I go into a bit with how Nauplius, the father of Palamedes, goes and fucks with the other kings by going to their homelands and telling their wives they're bringing back a new bride so that the queens would, you know, take on a lover or boot out the king when he comes back.

I think it's funny af that Palamedes' dad went around trying to fuck with the other king's kingdoms and it worked as most of their wives had affairs but then you have Penelope, the WIFE of the guy who set your son up to get murdered, and she wasn't buying it. Got revenge on all the kings except for the one who was truly responsible because his wife was too cool.

I love imagining him trying to convince Penelope, who's already like "You're telling me, my husband, the embodiment of simping, is going to replace me? When he knows I'm the best thing that ever happened to him?"

But when she realizes who this man is??? She's fucking FURIOUS. this is the father of the man who put their CHILD in such a dangerous situation and is the reason why her husband is away from her. She throws him out but Nauplius gets to Odysseus' parents and...tells them he died. He lied so at least he could hurt Odysseus in some way at least...Also Ironic as Palamedes I'm pretty sure is a distant descendant of Poseidon. There's something there >:D

But idk for sure how EXACTLY I'm going to have it go down but I like the thought of the family at least COMMUNICATING and sometimes visiting each other. Maybe Penelope visiting Hermione as her auntie kind of. Maybe visiting her siblings, mother, and father (until he tries to convince her to remarry again. then she avoids him :( ). Same with Clytemnestra. And idk for SURE but everyone has an inkling that she's having an affair with Aegisthus but no one knows for sure. Penelope tries to bring up Nauplius but...isn't able to get anywhere (can't spoil everything!)

When she finds out what happens it's a "I KNEW IT!" and anger as she's saddened as she cared for both these people so much as she grew up with them nearby. First Helen was kidnapped, her husband is gone, she can't see her siblings as often, now another person she grew up with and cared about is not only dead but also the one who killed them was another person she cared about! And she doesn't know how Ithaca, being a smaller island as a whole, could help their children. She's sad for them but also knows that she already has so much on her plate that she can't really help them. (also somewhat selfish :P Her and Odysseus are like-minded)

There's a part of me that thinks that, being the somewhat "I will do whatever I have to do to get on top" part of her would just "play along" to get resources from Mycenae while deep down feeling like "There will be consequences" or she would completely ignore and no longer do things with them until Orestes takes it back. She's got a lot going on with the suitors as well so idk for sure yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

WITH HELEN, that's much more complicated. She's been gone so long, and has to worry about getting back to her kingdom and looking forward to seeing her family again only to realize that some of her family has done something horrendous. Her sister killed her Brother-in-law! Menelaus' brother!! She grew up caring for Agamemnon as well! And also her husband is grieving!!! There is...SO MUCH going on. She's probably able to grieve a bit while in Egypt (because if I remember correctly they find out through Proteus, yeah?) There's grief for the sister she knew. She was ripped away from Hermione, how could her own sister not only kill her husband, but also send her children away and be so horrible to them?! But kind of in the same way as Penelope, so much on their plate with just returning, that they don't know how much they can do until later. I don't think they would be willing to do any sort of interaction with Mycenae afterward though. :P

Little side thing, but since I love MenOdy's BROTP, I'd like to think that Menelaus, being told by Proteus, a deity, where Odysseus was at, was kind of "mind-wiped" until Telemachus comes as "it's not the right time yet" with the gods. Menelaus and Helen realize afterward of "HoLY FUCK WE SHOULD'VE TOLD PENELOPE!!!" as they care about both Odysseus and Penelope. Also doesn't help that yeah, gotten news about bro/brother in law being murdered so there's a LOT going on. but I don't like to think they simply forgot??? when for one thing, I plan to write them as all very close?? NO >:(

It was just prophecy shit of "Hey, it HAS to be 20 years, mm'kay?"

[mothbeasts]

my mom is convinced our grey shorthair cat is a russian blue and idk how to tell her that. no he's just a grey cat