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hartigays · 3 years ago

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Rafebarry Prompt for you! So what about some of Barry’s pals being over at the trailer and they’re all just like “Damn Bro” at seeing Rafe (who’s just living his best chaotic life, being Barry’s housewife/partner in crime) and Barry’s just all smug about it like “Yeah. I’m hittin’ that. Be jealous.”

tw: mature themes (drug use, sexual implications) and some homophobic language (just a comment from some loser tho)

rafe’s bike tears through swampy grass and dirt with a vengeance as he pulls into barry’s front yard, leaving tire marks in his wake.

when he pulls off his helmet, the first thing he sees are people spilling in and out of the trailer. people rafe doesn’t recognize - some of them attractive, even.

which is… infuriating, to put it lightly.

barry clearly hadn’t felt the need to keep rafe in the loop, inviting him over without informing him that half of the cut would be in attendance as well.

like, seriously, what the fuck? rafe had thought - well. he’d intended to come here to pick up some blow, and maybe, possibly, perhaps let barry have his way with him while he’s at it.

barry can’t have his way with him if half the population of north carolina is stacked up inside the trailer. and that’s just. frustrating.

rafe kind of wants to drive his bike straight through the trailer, mowing some partygoers down and end this whole shebang right here and now. but, as barry has made explicitly clear time and time again, rafe is Not Allowed to harm and/or kill people on his property.

it’s sometimes irritating, this whole thing they’ve started. this casual fling that’s maybe not-so-casual anymore considering rafe agreed to be exclusive with barry not even two days ago.

there are just. so many rules, like no maiming, or killing, or… actually, that’s about it. but that’s two rules too many. rafe doesn’t like rules, or being told what he can or can’t do.

barry is just lucky rafe likes him. kind of. sort of. somewhat.

otherwise, barry would be drifting along the bottom of the ocean somewhere, flesh being nibbled away at by fish and sharks and the like.

rafe flings his helmet towards his bike, not bothering to see if it landed anywhere convenient, before storming across the yard and shoving himself through a cluster of people to get inside the trailer.

barry is sitting on the couch, all sorts of people surrounding him, looking like he’s already fucked up beyond belief.

which is also annoying, because he was supposed to get fucked up beyond belief with rafe, then mandhandle rafe into bed to have his wicked way with him. like always.

“ayy, country club!” barry practically shouts over the noice, his accent even thicker and more drawn out than usual. “you made it!”

“yeah, barry, i made it,” rafe snaps, then sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

look, he’s not against parties or anything. actually, he’s quite in favor of them. he just… did not plan for his day to go like this.

rafe wanted barry’s full attention, which is now virtually impossible given the amount of bodies that are currently filling the room.

barry just looks at rafe with glazed eyes, leaning back casually against the couch cushions. “aw, don’t you go pouting on me ‘n shit, rafe cameron. ain’t you always down for a party or some shit like that?”

“a little heads up would’ve been nice,” rafe tells him, his temper rearing it’s ugly head again and bleeding into his voice. “look, can i just get my shit so i can get out of here?”

rafe moves around the coffee table, elbowing a few drunk idiots out of his way as he does. barry eyes him as he comes closer, before suddenly swinging one arm out and wrapping it around rafe’s waist. he ropes rafe in close enough that rafe stumbles a bit over barry’s feet, sprawling right into his lap.

“see, ain’t that more like it, country club?” barry purrs, his lips pressed against rafe’s ear.

rafe feels a shiver rocket down his spine, but also a flare of anxiety.

barry is certainly fucked up beyond comprehension, and they haven’t exactly talked about making their relationship public. rafe has no idea if this is something barry will regret in the morning and end up cutting rafe off.

but to be fair, if barry did wake up and decide to tell rafe to fuck off, rafe would probably just kill him. he might just kill him anyway, just because he feels like it.

and since barry’s inevitable death is hurtling towards them at breakneck speed, rafe might as well enjoy barry’s final moments while he can.

so he lets barry kiss him, full on the mouth, on display for the hundred or so other people milling about the room.

rafe, regrettably, makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat when he feels barry’s tongue dip into his mouth, sweeping across his own.

regrettably, because some fucking weird ass next to barry leans in close to watch. rafe can see the movement out of the corner of his eye.

but barry isn’t deterred. he might be a little encouraged, even, because he deepens the kiss even more, pressing in so close that rafe feels like they could crawl inside of each other and form one cohesive nightmare of a person.

“ain’t peg you for a fag, barry,” the guy comments, his words slurring. he burps after he speaks, and barry detaches his lips from rafe to look over at the source of the noise.

“the fuck you just say to me?” barry snaps, digging his fingers into rafe’s hips to keep him in place when rafe moves to get up, ready to just slit this guy’s throat and be done with it. “ain’t you in my damn house, fuckass? who the fuck you think you’re talkin’ to?”

“hey, man, didn’t mean no offense,” the guy says, raising his hands in mock surrender before burping again. “jus’ askin’.”

“getcho’ dumbass out my house, bro,” barry tells him, removing one hand from rafe’s hips for only a moment, just to shove the guy out of his seat.

the still nameless man just shrugs, gulping down the remnants of his beer before getting up and disappearing into the crowd.

“i think you guys are cute,” a girl giggles from where she’s seated, across from the couch rafe and barry are currently planted on.

barry looks up at rafe, and it’s almost fond and god, that’s disgusting. rafe wants to soak himself in it, let it marinate until it’s deeply ingrained in every fiber of his being.

“sho’ are,” barry agrees with her, still looking up at rafe. he’s got one hand beneath rafe’s shirt now, nails raking over his back.

rafe shudders, wishing he could dissolve every person in this room right this very moment so he can curl up inside barry and make a home there.

“gotta say, ‘m a little jealous, man,” some other guy pipes up from barry’s other side.

rafe looks over at him, one brow arched, finding the guy staring right back as he hits some sort of pipe.

probably filled with meth, based on the state of the guy’s teeth.

classy.

“guess you just gon’ have to be jealous, then,” barry tosses back, not bothering to spare the guy a glance before returning his mouth to rafe’s.

the party comes and goes, faster than rafe anticipated, but that maybe can be attributed to the fact that barry keeps rafe glued to him at all times, practically devouring him every chance he can get, and showing him off to every person who happens to look their way.

rafe will admit, it’s a little satisfying, knowing how proud barry is to have staked his claim. he’s surprised that he’s so okay with barry being so possessive of him, too.

rafe cameron normally does not like the idea of being owned by anyone or anything. at least, he hadn’t up until now.

at this point, he’s pretty sure he’d let barry put a dog collar on him that reads property of barry the coke dealer, without complaint.

now, lounging in barry’s bed, sweat-soaked and panting, rafe sparks a blunt. he takes a long hit and passes it to barry.

“you did this on purpose,” rafe says, knowingly.

barry just grins up at the ceiling like a shark, shrugging as he hits the blunt.

“you’re pretty, rafe cameron. and you’re mine,” barry tells him, passing the weed back. “what’s it hurt to show off a little? you ain’t die or nothing.”

“never said it was a bad thing,” rafe snorts. “just maybe give me a little warning next time you plan to parade me around as your trophy wife.”

“like you ain’t get off on all them people talking ‘bout how jealous they are that i get to have you.”

barry has a point, rafe will admit. not out loud, mind you, but still. in the quiet of his mind, where no one else can hear, he agrees with barry wholeheartedly.

“can you blame them? i mean, look at me,” rafe says with a snooty little sniff, running a hand along his jaw. “you landed yourself a masterpiece. people are gonna notice.”

“you so damn full of yourself, country club,” barry snorts. “imma have to knock that ego down a peg. i been too nice to you.”

“says the guy whose ego grew ten times larger just by being a show-off about his boyfriend.”

barry rolls over onto his side, watching rafe hit the blunt with heavily-lidded eyes. “boyfriend, huh? ain’t we a bit old for that?”

“you literally called me your boyfriend like, fifty times today. do not even- ”

barry shuts him up mid-sentence by taking the blunt from rafe’s hand and putting it out on the ashtray next to the bed, tangling his fingers in rafe’s hair, and pulling him in for a kiss that’s all tongues and teeth.

rafe wanted to finish his sentence, had planned on finishing it, but barry doesn’t give him the chance. not with the way he’s kissing him right now.

within a matter of moments, rafe forgets what he was planning to say in the first place. but whatever, he’s fucking tired, barry feels good and smells good and tastes good. so what if he’s a trophy wife, so what if he may or may not get off on people being jealous that barry gets to date him. to own him.

it’s all arbitrary.

instead of figuring out what he was going to say, rafe breaks away from barry’s lips, fastening his mouth to barry’s neck and biting down.

his teeth sink in deep, and he hopes with everything he has left in him that it leaves a scar.

#rafebarry #outer banks #hope u enjoy!#my fics #ask #goodnightandbillyrobicheaux

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modern-oedipus · 3 years ago

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Therapy Notes #?

I haven’t mediated or wrote in my mental health journal for nearly two months, and now, starting them feels overwhelming. So instead, I’m making a Tumblr post about 5 things I’ve successfully done today, to remind my brain that I’m not only unfinished tasks. (This was a psychiatrist advice— when I told her I don’t want to use medicine and I want to regulate my mental health without antidepressants. Thankfully, it worked for me, as I wasn’t a severe case. Anyways.)

• I read 3 stories from Rashōmon, Akutagawa’s book. Moreover, I borrowed that book from my girlfriend yesterday, which makes me feel like I’m running through her brain, which is equally exciting as— just being lovers. But like. Intellectually. I remember how she always gets very excited showing her books from her chaotically huge library. I think I even interrupted her speech midway just to kiss her. Life is quite fanfic-like nowadays. 🧿🎈

• I posted one Instagram post at @nilashh and wrote about how and why Akutagawa’s stories and his life inspired me. I developed a sense of genuine respect to him as I read his stories. Our writing style is similar. I think I understand what he means at the core of his writing. But, I had to google some specifics parts to see if I missed anything. I also made a private instagram as Nila because I want to share more photos of just me being me. It’s private, though, I only keep those who are dearest to me, those whom I trust. I also don’t keep anyone irl on that account. Which means I’ll probably have 10-15 people only but 😂Good enough! Some things are better in privacy 💖 I hear a lot from people that, I look attractive to them, and some were quite to surprised to find me looking like that because you know, they just so happened to read my fics and didn’t expect I’d look “this good” or something? Anyways, it surely is a pleasant reaction when I do a face real. I also feel the same thing, like most of my friends are FREAKIN gorgeous! Some have colored hair and all! Inspiring!

• Told my mom to bring our canary over the grandma’s since he was home alone. Here, there are 2 more pet birds. It is more fun for him to hang out with them. I’m happy I came up with the idea. He is here now.

• I called my father to check up on him. I also vented him about how I saw in my dream that he had a new baby daughter and how I wanted to strangle the daughter because I’m his only princess, and my dad was freaked out at my agression and ensured me he’s not gonna have any more kids 😂 It was funny. But, seriously. It may sound odd but I’m glad I only have my brother. I feel like I’d constantly compare myself if I had a sister (who’s prettier? Who is thinner? Who has more friends? etc.) but with a male sibling, I don’t feel any competition. Of course, I am only talking hypotehtically, maybe I would love if I had a sister, but honestly? I always hated the thought of sharing my spot with anyone. So I am glad I only have my younger brother and no one else. My father is my most beloved human on the earth so I would feel very jealous if I had to share him— and funny thing is, I told all of these to my dad, and he was freaked out 😂 Well, not my fault. If he didn’t want me to make him my favorite person, he shouldn’t have been a fantastic gentleman with an interesting personality (outside of him being a parent) and also a safe parent. Only natural that I’d strangle a potential sister if she were to ever ask to share my spot. I wonder why I had such a weird dream, tho. Both my parents are passed the age of getting kids and we are old, no one is getting kids. It was so weird for sure. Anyways, it was just a dream in the end.

• It’s so hard to find something I productively did today. But I was having a chat with my 15 years old cousins— and I noticed, the parents usually do not listen to them wholly. But I decided to listen until they finish their words, be kind, validate their ideas and respectfully tell what I think as well. Because I think teenagers, kids, or even pets; deserve personal space and respect. It’s not good to act all high and mighty even if you “know” the best as an adult. This lead to a very entertaining conversation with 5 male teenager cousins in a room. I feel like I can actually talk to them better compared to when we were younger. I guess we all are growing up and that’s inspiring.

Anyways, I’m too tired, so here are 5 QUICK notes of things I’m grateful for: 🧿 (I saw that this evil eye emoji thingy is kinda?? Like a charm?? To keep bad shit away if you’re happy? I AINT TAKING ANY CHANCES)

• being alive

• having my loved ones alive (and RIP to all loved ones we lost this year..)

• my dog— actually I’ll just share my doggo

That’s the doggo! 🤍💖🧿

• being healthy. I am kinda having some health problems ritht now but they are not too harsh and I am not on any medication.

• hmmmm what else

• my lover ofc

• the fact that I finally can read books after training my brain and patience for so long. I sometimes have symptoms very similar to adhd (but I don’t have adhd, I learned that some other issues can MIMIC the symptoms of adhd but are not chronic like it) so I kinda tried adhd hacks — consistently for. 2 months and they worked!

Anyways my head hurts and i was just gonna write them on notes section of my phone but since some of my mutuals said they do benefit/enjoy therapy notes series, i decided to share! Give me a hug we all are tired!!

#therapy notes #nila stuff #akutagawa ryonosuke #reading #writing

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elanska · 5 years ago

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Miss not so sidekick - chapter 91

Latte, who we highly suspect also having penchant for violence, thinking inwardly how cutesy and adorbsy the inhabitants of the scary looming black tower were.

Yes, she was seeing blue beating red and thinking it's cutesy. Maybe she's being affected by murderous bunny and his tower's conduct (as it certainly not befitting a lady) (meanwhile our standard reaction is screaming MAGE FIGHT! MAGE FIGHT! but we're not a noble lady)

anyway, Latte noted that the tower inhabitants seemingly young. Combined with the trivia that tower is a place where only the most talented magicians can reside (I'm actually kinda interested to see what will the test to get inside the tower and became its resident be), there seems many young mage geniuses (but bunny is still #1! yeah, errr...so is his childishness as well)

anyway, blue quickly encroached Latte's personal space (again, we see his master's influence there) and *very* formally introduce himself as bluntbob (we're gonna let him keep his name, because, not gonna lie, we don't know many haircuts enough to make a joke)

meanwhile Red goes, "tf u so polite for?" but bluebob (oops sorry, old habit dies hard) bluntbob remind him that this creature is the master's guest (a RARE creature! ....what, does they suspect her to be dragon-in-disguise or something? that can shoot laser from her eyes?) (oy, what are you thinking about bunny?) (well, if he's interested in something, it can't be good...I meant it must be something unique, right?)

Red, I meant Veryred (not gonna lie #2, it seems the author also didn't have many knowledge about haircut either. Meanwhile, I was very sure that haircut is standard-short-waxy/wavy-cut-with-bangs-on-the-side, but veryred sounds perfect) introduce himself with a wink and teehee - which offend bob's aesthetics somehow and went for a strangle (CHOKEHOLD! CHOKEHOLD!) and both bickering about their preferences of nickname for Latte. my, how childish these two kids are. how immature. heh heh.

(...............) (....what?) (..nothing. just glad you're over that) (? we're not gonna saying how idiot she was last week?) (woah! wouldn't you look at that, psychopath division? what a cute kitty!) (*RUNS OFF*)

AAAAND OUR FAVORITE BUNNY IS HEREEEEEE!!! and send his own crazy underlings with just a mere sentence! damn, like a boss! wait, he's the boss. and not to mention that he's actually the most pyschopath here. A...Anyway, Latte thinking that Arwin's tyrannical presence can instantly scatter the persistent red & bob duo like somebody blewing the dandelion seeds to the remotest edge of a country - and that's a very cute imagery (okay Latte, there's something wrong with you. The smiling dandelion pic is cute tho).

Arwin, the CONFIDENT man who sees female lead Ibelin singing on stage and very matter-of-factly claim 'I'm Prettier." lean close and ask if Latte referring ('that's cute') comment to him. Latte is, hey how on earth are you cute (btw, in case you forgot, she thinks that monster are cuter than him. but don’t worry bunny, you already have your ‘prettiest’ and ‘op as fuck’ throne) so Latte said that comments is referring to her. and Arwin is like 'oho? you're cute?' and Latte is 'Yes, yes, I'm so so very cute, watch my lethal wink beam of cutesyness' (and we thought to ourselves how veryred would tearfully relinquish his cutest-in-tower throne once Latte reside here. Sorry, red, you just didn't have the chance).

Alas, Latte forgot who her opponent is! As the master of the tower of magic, of course, Arwin will be immune even to deadliest charm spell ever was. Too bad, but don't be sad Latte, it's not your fault, it's just bunny that's abnormal, that's all, feel free to beam us again with your lethal charm spell! (.......are we serious?) (what? you want us to chant SPELLFIGHT! SPELLFIGHT! instead?) (hey, actually, don't you think charm spell fighting between Latte and Arwin will be a interesting?) (yeah, but Latte is not a magician) (and she'll lose once Arwin like, leaned *real* close to her face, no mp need to be involved)

Arwin also asking if Latte is sane (hey! that's rich, coming from you bunny!) (but wait, seriously. Latte just saying something about lethal in front of the tower lord, it could be perceived as threat right? uh? maybe? I didn't know what psychopaths thinks *looking around to check pyschopath division* ('well, hell~o there kitty *low whistle and then start serenading in garbled italian while kitty looks in disgust*) (....forget it, we don't know that shameful creature *nod nod* okay, let's just move on)

anyway, psychopath bunny half-joking (or maybe not, we can't tell) that being in those fools presence seemingly making Latte even crazier and should he *takes care* of them? and by *takes care* he meant kill, as in outrightly says it, because he's the master of magic tower and didn't give a fuck about police.

Latte, though not really right in the head herself (sometimes) but definitely know which one of them is crazier and immediately call it! and also immediately shutting herself up, because reminding a psychopath that he's a psychopath is never a good move. Fortunately (or unfortunately for those who still want a date chapter) in-walked another third wheel-Arobrock.

/by the way, just a quick review on dis pair progress: + Arwin no longer attempt to get into Latte's face (learned the safe distance) + Latte, no longer defer herself as court clown (must appease the sireeeee, if wanna liveeee). She can be the clown at her own pace now, tyvm. (well, she got that super rare 'won't kill you' card) //

Anyway, Arobrock mentioning his surprise that Arwin back so early since he's usually spending his sweet, sweet time pummeling the irritation, so why? Arwin is like, "eh, I feel like it" *steal glance to Latte*

Arwin-Arobrock freely talking about their threatening other country so casually. And the conversation so casually devolves into murder plan. Particularly Arwin mentioned that since he had give the koi country a nice reminder ('I let you go this time with compensation money, but next time, your head will flies off’) - so if the kois still dare to came next time, Arobrock should just kill them by himself *If we’re in gangster movies, this must be where the FBI wiretapper pumps out their fist and shout in joy that they got the murder plan confession on tape or something*

By the way, just for recap: Two kois came to the tower with their guards and wrecking about. The tower owner returned, extremely displeased and delivered them back with a warning and demand for reparation. If we thought Tower as independent nation, it'll be like, Vatican? it's small, and located within another country, but have their own government. To fucking attack it = declaring war on another country = reparation needed. Honestly, why does princes keep making mistakes like this, do they think Tower as some kind of cheap bar where they can flaunt 'don't you know who I am? I'm a prince!" *gets slapped and then the owner morph to a dragon who breathes fire/pummeling the king or whomever it is until they agree to give compensation*

BTW, why the wizards seemingly like money? well, since they only have small land (only the tower and its surrounding?) they probably didn't have any resources except their wizardly selves (and various magical objects/potions/artifacts they make). It's not like they can tax all the wizards in the world......? actually, that would be....no no no, it's still hard to do, magicians are spread far and wide all across the continents (they're too snobbish to get along together in same place?) but since they're magicians, they are UNDER the tower's administration and jurisdiction. So theoritically, if the Tower Lord issuing command that all magicians gets into war with country A, they must serve? Well, *theoritically* but since magicians are prideful snobbish bunch, they might get 'huuuh? never heard you before in my life and now you told me to kneel and heel? want to taste my fireball?'-> which I think this is why the Tower Lord's seat is only for the strongest - so if it comes to it, the tower lord can just burn that rogue mage with his *stronger* fireball and carry on the plan without any more hitch. see Arwin's laughing face as the tower cower in fear here? It make a good motivational reminder poster.

............but it's kinda makes a question why does the Tower just let the koi princes makes a mess in the first place. and Arobrock just answers that with a money sign.

#miss not so sidekick #arwin x latte #arwin hebrim #latte ectrie #crazy tower magicians #arobrock

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twilightofthe · 5 years ago

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Chapter Six liveblog of The Mandalorian! Let’s go!!!

Wait this wasn’t from last ep I guess no flashback this time?

Hmm some sorta space station

SIR YOU ABANDONED YOUR CHILD AGAIN

Huh, Mando Man has friends? Surprising

Nice old hobo man

I’m seriously worried about Baby Yoda being left on the Razor Crest alone

Oh good Mando Man’s getting some money

Lol but let’s be real he probs won’t get the money

Ahaha as a member of a Star Wars RPG group with the explicit plot of “five random yahoos for hire clumped together to do some kind of infiltration job”, lemme just say that this won’t end well at all

Oh nevermind not nice old hobo man :(

Hmm so hired man number one. Mayfield? Does he have a personality?

Gah Mando Man’s voice is so friggin attractive hlep

Hmmm sharpshooter? Wanna bet Mando Man’s still better than him?

Wait shite those guys are gonna have to share a ship with Baby Yoda that’s not allowed at ALL

Obligatory Canto Bight mention to try and tie it into the larger Star Wars universe xD

Hello Burg, lemme guess, you’re big and scary

Oh that’s Clancy Brown, I’d know that voice, cooooool!

Zero looks like a bug

Xi’an-- oh wonderful, a Harley Quinn knockoff

No, no, I’ll give her a chance

Hmm putting a new beat over the title sequence

Not sure how I feel about that

“The Prisoner” wait who’s this prisoner taken by anyway? New Republic?

Ey Zero stay out of Mando Man’s stuff

Yepppp New Republic

Everyone needs to leave Mando Man alone :(

Mayfield’s voice and face seem familiar

I reeeeeally don’t trust these ppl on a ship with the baby

I’m worried Xi’an might fuckin’ try to eat him or something

I do like that they gave a Twi’lek woman visible fangs tho

STOOOOOOP TOUCHING HIS STUFF

“Why are they all dead?” Well the Jedi were the greatest warriors in the galaxy too and they died sooooo, guess it’s just bad luck???

If this guy tries to take off the helmet imma fight him

DO NOT TOUCH THE BABY

BABY BETTER BITE THEM

BITE HIM BITE HIM BITE HIM

HE IS STILL TOUCHING THE BABY PLEASE REMOVE YOUR GRUBBY MITTS

SON OF A BITCH YOU DROPPED HIM I WILL MURDER YOU

Idk why those ppl are all so surprised about the Crest, the Falcon’s just as junky, ships last a while

Ok I do like Xi’an’s theme violin

This prison type is new, cool looking doors

I appreciate all the Lucas-era species

Mouse droid!

Awww he shot it!

Aaaaand they’re caught

Hell yea Mando Man show em how it’s done

That’s hot

Assholes could be helping him rn

Poor Mando Man you deserve So Much Better

“It seems your presence has been detected” OH GEE I WONDER WHY, IT WASN’T LIKE YOU ALL MADE A BUNCH OF NOISE OR ANYTHING

And Tumblr spoilers have confirmed for me that Helmet Dude is Matt Lanter! Hello!!!! Always a pleasure!!!!!!!!!!

Actually ya know what this show is really rude about putting helmets and ugly hats over really cute guys, I’m offended xD

“Egghead” ok lol he’s got a point

Awwww Mando Man’s tryna be nice :(

Aaaaand there goes Xi’an, “Crazy Twi” indeed

Awww, goodbye Matt, see ya in TCW this February!

How the hell are these guys still more competent than my RPG group

Ohhhh total betrayal, of fucking course

And he still doesn’t get paid!!!!!

Those bastards are gonna try and take off with the ship and Baby Yoda

Baby Yoda better pull some sorta Home Alone type shit on them

Oh hell yea did Mando Man kill the lights?

YES HE DID HELL YEA

HE GONNA KICK THEIR BUTTS IN DRAMA LIGHTING

AND THERE’S BABY YODA, GET HIM BABY GET HIM

HE WAS GONNA SHOOT THE BABY KILL HIM DEAD

What did all these other mercs even get promised for locking Mando Man up? I doubt Xi’an has that much cash on her

So Ran wanted Mando Man dead???? Why???????

Aight Oin’s crazy act isn’t any more charming than Xi’an’s is

C’mon Baby get the droid get him

Ya know what, I wanna see MANDO MAN play Home Alone with these guys

Oh boom strangling, Saw works too

Oh wow this guy does not squish

Aaaaand Xi’an’s probs gonna kill other dude by mistake

Wait nope Mando Man drops doors on him instead haha

Smart baby hiding, I love him

Aaaand now Mando Man has Xi’an too?

Oof ouch this flashing light business is not seizure-friendly

Boom Mando Man sneak!!!!

Hell yea they got what they deserved

Wait, so Ran wasn’t in on killing Mando?

OOOF BABY YODA’S GONNA FUCK YOU UP DUDE

BABY YODA FUCKED YOU UP BIG TIME LOOK AT THAT EX

Oh nvm, that was just protective daddy xD

Guess he took care of Oin too, is what he deserves

Wait nope nvm I forgot Mando Man is nicer than I am lol

Omg he actually gets some credits to feed his son praise

They’re still gonna report him to the Guild tho aren’t they

Or Ran’s pilots will for some reason? Why does literally everyone want him dead

HAHAHA MANDO MAN SICCED THE NEW REPUBLIC ON THEM!

And here come the three pilots who Tumblr spoilers have also told me are the three directors!

Hi Dave Filoni aka TRAPPER WOLF David you gotdang nerd with an aesthetic I love you

Aaaaand Mando Man and Baby are out of there!!!

AND HE’S GIVING BABY HIS TOY

AND COMMUNICATING WITH HIS SON I LOVE THEM BOTH SO MUCH

Good now you shiny beautiful man go get your son some food

And Mando Man didn’t even kill them! Aight he has to know this’ll just mean more future enemies right???

Oh so Faveau didn’t write this one

Aight so imma agree with what others have said, this ep is probs the weakest of all of them so far. The merc squad was just kinda annoying and none of their characters were easy to appreciate. I liked the familiar faces brought back in tho and I still am a sucker for Baby Yoda because I’m easy like that. Also loving Mando Man’s competence, that’s just highkey hot to see. Overall, still really pumped for the last two episodes and kinda really scared about how Season One’s gonna end!!!! o_O

#mando man of mystery #liveblogging the mando show #the mandalorian spoilers #the mandalorian #sw the mando show #star wars #sw stuff

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colourthestarts · 5 years ago

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Bad Days and Baby Steps

Warning: smoking (kids do not smoke!) and swearing.

Sachihiro Kondo. Also known as Sachi had a sort of relation with y/n that Kuroo had with Kenma. They grew up together and they both joined same type of sports which were jiu jitsu and judo. They met Mika together in first year of high school when Sachi very rudely hit on Mika and she slapped him in the face. Y/n howled the whole day and then kicked Sachi’s ass during training the same day. Then both of them got twenty push ups for slagging each other off. Then another twenty for asking why. But neither regretted cause they met Mika and clicked together well.

By the end of the year y/n and Sachi were not as close. Y/n was no longer training and the group would eat together and hang out but there was still that distance. Then it got bigger when Sachi got a girlfriend or well… few girlfriends over time. The issue was not that he had girlfriends but rather the type. Somehow they all turned up jealous of his two female friends. But they were all understanding for their age, tho sometimes still argued.

Third year started to change when Sachi started to pester y/n more often once again. This did not go unnoticed in school and a small rumour started that they were dating. Which got the attention of Sachi’s girlfriend Yua who was seeing him a lot less lately. So it was not surprising that eventually she would come to the girls on the whereabouts of her boyfriend.

“Y/n, Mika have you seen Sachi?”

“No.” Y/n stated while trying to cram in that bloody chemistry chapter for the test tomorrow.

“Probs in your classroom.” Mika replied while trying to understand the geography homework.

“Yeah, he’s not there which is why I’m asking. He’s been recently hanging out with you two. I barely see him at all.”

“We’ve been hanging out since first year. That would be normaaaal.” Mika sang, which irritated the girlfriend more if not for Sachi walking in. Yua immediately approached him.

“Awww Sachi let’s have lunch and hang out!” But she was swiftly ignored when he passed her and sat in front of y/n, closing her book which was met with a whine.

“Sweetie, I need to study. We got a chemistry test tomorrow and I need to know my study sessions with Kuroo are not a massive waste of time. Can your existential crisis wait till tomorrow?”

“Come back to me.” Sachi stated.

“Ehhh… you might want to be a bit clearer when you say stuff like that.” Y/n nodded towards the girlfriend who looked like she was gonna explode. And rightfully so from her perspective.

“To the club. Come back to train.” Y/n face became sour.

“No.”

“I know that you’re done with physio.”

“Wait what? Seriously?” Mika asked.

“Yeah. So what? I’m not coming back.”

“Be my vice-captain. We can go back to before the injury.” Although y/n understood this came from a good place to say so, she just couldn't take it that way. There was nothing good with this.

“Let’s make this super clear. There will never be a "before the injury". And I am not coming back so go deal with your girlfriend and kindly fuck off.”

The same day Sachi broke up with Yua with the explanation that she was too clingy. Y/n did not shut down. Instead she blanked the whole day and when school ended she didn’t go to physio. Cause there was no more physio. Nor did she have a chemistry session with Kuroo that day. In theory she knew she should study for the test but she didn’t want to go home. So she spend her time in the wondering in the shopping centre then to the cafe and when that wasn't good enough she just walked around the streets until finally sitting down.

That was the worst decision and she knew it. Cause when y/n felt upset and with no way out she smoked. It happened rarely and it was a disgusting habit, yet she didn’t quit. On her second cig she was woken up when it was taken straight out of her lips. Y/n expected her brothers, Mika, Sachi even the police, but definitely not Kuroo.

In retrospect, Kuroo was shocked when he was walking towards train station after getting himself a new pair of volleyball shoes, seeing y/n sitting with a cig between her teeth. He never thought that she was a smoker. Suddenly he started to get sort of pissed off. No reason why but that feeling was there. So he walked up to her and asked what was she thinking, but she completely blanked him, the same way she blanked her lessons. After not getting a response after few more times Kuroo just took her cig right out of her mouth which seemed to wake her up. With few blinks she finally responded.

“What are you doing here?”

“Didn’t think you were a smoker.” Kuroo stated while taking out the cig and sitting next to her.

“I’m not.” Then Kuroo pointed at the pack. “Rarely. Until the next time happens I guess.”

“Have you talked to Mika?”

“Nah, not there yet.”

“What about Sachi? You two are close right?”

“Yeah… he’s not a good option at this time.”

“Your brothers. They seem chill from what I’ve seen.” That was Kuroo’s honest opinion. Sometimes after sessions he would stay longer when her brothers were around to have dinner. It was always insisted and he honestly liked the extra company. Once in a while Kenma joined too.

“I can’t cause I’m mad at them.”

“Aaaaaa….”

“Yeah…”

“… You can talk to me? I mean I can listen or not listen.”

A minute later y/n stood up, putting away the pack back into the bag.

“Let’s walk to the train station.” Kuroo nodded and tagged along. At least he offered his help. Y/n tho considered his offer and though that she’d go with it. You never know. “I think better in motion so this will be easier as we walk. Plus then I don’t exactly have to look at you and that makes me feel more comfortable. Although I don’t mean looking at you in a negative way.”

“Okay…”

“So basically I’m out from physio. It’s all done.”

“That’s good news right?”

“Well technically yes. But this now brings the opportunity to go back to training, but I don’t think I’m quite there yet in a weird way. But then Sachi just flew in on the break saying I should come back and be vice-captain and like as if everything is fine but I know... I’m not fine. Dunno why but I know I’m not. And now Mika knows too because of him and she’s gonna be all happy and supportive and she’ll team up with Sachi who I kinda wanna strangle for this.”

“So you’re angry cause he’s pushing you? If you don’t wanna do this why don’t you tell him that. You’re pretty blunt usually.”

“Thanks. Not angry, more like feeling suffocated." Y/n commented with a chuckle. Tho both knew it wasn't funny. A minute later they stopped and y/n turned to Kuroo. "I can’t cause he was the one who injured me. Well he thinks he did. I think that I fucked up and its on me and we never agreed on this issue in the first place. So now he probs thinks that this is a remake. But since I can’t even think about training without having a nervous breakdown it’s a fucked situation for everyone. Hence smoking.”

Wow. Not exactly what he imagined nor he could relate to her situation. He really didn’t know what sort of advice to give. He never had a serious injury. Never really felt stuck like this with Kenma. Maybe Yaku, but it was just arguing with banter. Definitely never with Bokuto or Akaashi.

“I’m sorry.”

“Lol for what even. You said you’d listen and you did. If it makes you feel better this kinda made me feel better.”

“Weirdly helps. By the way why are you mad at your brothers?”

“Sachi doesn’t walk to physio with me. I banned him after the whole surgery and stuff. He was a nightmare. Mika didn’t know I was done so she didn’t tell him. Which means my dumb ass siblings told him which was frankly none of their business.”

“I don’t think they meant to harm.”

“Of course they don’t. So I can’t be mad at them either. I am just royally fucked in every way.” When Kuroo made a face she quickly realised. “I just heard how that sounded, but the basic point stands.”

“Okay… didn’t know you were such a badass tho. Judo? Really?”

“And Jiu Jitsu. And even MMA once in a while cause Kisho does that.”

“So you can easily beat me up anytime.”

“I wouldn’t and haven’t trained in ages, but if necessary yeah think so. Deffo could break a few bones.”

“You are terrifying.” Kuroo stated intrigued. To him this somehow made y/n even more attractive. Same didn’t registered with y/n tho.

“Thanks. That’s what all girls wanna hear.”

"No no, I mean in a good way! Like a badass! Not like that you're boyish or anything."

"What's wrong with girls being boyish?"

"Nothing at all! God I'm just digging myself in a bigger hole aren't I?"

"Just a bit." Y/n mused, she knew he didn't mean it like that. Tho she also struggled to be a bit more feminine to say so. She wished she was tho. "I'm pulling your leg, don't worry. C'mon the train station isn't far off."

The journey home was more pleasant. There was some small talk but y/n mostly was quite clearly didn't feeling good yet. Also her hands gripping her backpack also indicated she wasn't completely fine. So when y/n got off at her station so did Kuroo.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Walking you home."

"You're what now?"

"Walking you home. You honestly expect me just to let you off like that."

"Like what? I'm fine."

"Yeah just the way you also are amazing at chemistry."

"It's a dumb subject! And we're not talking about that! You need to get on the next train." Y/n commented while waving her hands. Kuroo noticed she did a lot of that when she was explaining or arguing like now. Well she can keep doing that while walking home.

"There'll be 3 more trains. I got plenty of time. Let's go."

The way to y/n's was far more talkative cause y/n kept pestering for him to go back. But Kuroo shot back with the chemistry test that was due tomorrow so the rest of the walk up to her gates was him quizzing and her mostly whining.

"Can't believe you just tortured me with this."

"We have a test tomorrow. Can't have you failing."

"Pfff I've never failed a test so you better watch your own ass. At this point I'll do better than you."

"Dream on." Kuroo chucked as they approached the gate. The lights were on so someone was definitely on possibly waiting to give hell to y/n. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"You mean those two? Not the first time I got home so late so I'm used to a bit of telling off. Besides once I mention Sachi they'll shut right up. You should go or you'll miss your train."

"I will, you should go inside."

"You should go first. I'm literally outside my house."

"You-"

"You insisted to walk me home and quizzed me on chemistry. Can't you do this for me?" Kuroo noticed that she was waving her arms again. It was adorable.

"Okay I'll go first. But if you feel like that again where you wanna smoke text or call me."

"Sorry, I can't promise that. Text me when you get home or if you missed your train."

"I will, see you tomorrow."

"Bye "

It was when he reached the third house that he herd y/n yell thank you. But when he turned around she was already gone.

On the other hand once y/n got in she was met with Norio's dissaproved face.

"Where have you been I've been worried. Mike and Sachin had no idea where you were your phone is off. Have you lost it?"

"It's with me."

"Then what the hell?"

"Was it you or Kisho who told Sachi physio was done?" When she was met with silence she immediately knew. "So, both of you. I'm going to my room have a test tomorrow."

After some revision and finally getting to bed it was not a surprise that she couldn't sleep. Over think everything was an awful personality trait of hers. But this time it wasn't as bad as usually despite her weird day. Instead she had a weird feeling because of Kuroo that she couldn't quite identify.

Maybe it was graditute.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #nekoma #Kuroo Tetsuro x reader #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu imagines #what am I even writing #sorry #Kuroo Tetsuro

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claidi · 5 years ago

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My take on Star Wars: Spoilers Ahead

Going into this, my expectations were low. I heard it was low rated, had too many things going on, and was too safe. Well, since the previous movie kinda killed my investment in this trilogy anyway I wasn't to concerned. I figured it'd be a good spectacle and I wanted to be in on the conversation around it.

After sitting through a long span of trailers and an epilepsy warning the music kicks in. The opening scroll starts and I... I start losing it.

"The dead speak!" That's the first thing someone decided I needed to to experience. Palpatine is back and here to be the villain. I thought it'd be something revealed to the characters during the movie, a big dramatic moment. Instead, he's just back and who really needs to know why.

After that, the movie opens proper on a Kylo Ren tantrum. Just letting you know now, I'm not a fan of the Kyle. We get him tracking down Palps because apparently Kyle isn't enough of a villain to stand on his own in even the first minute of screentime. Inexplicably Snoke is revealed to be a clone / science experiment or something and ol' Palps has behind everything all along. It's so gloriously cheesy I can't help but laugh at every new revelation.

After that we finally get to our heroes. It's kinda fun to see our leads actually interacting like they're close to each other. A spy is mentioned and automatically I know it's gonna be Hux which amuses me once more, given I walked out of the last movie fairly certain that he'd be plotting Kyle's death if any justice was given to his character.

I have mixed feelings about Rey training with Leia. On one hand, I love me some Leia. On the other hand, I'm worried that was added just to give Rey credentials and stop the whiners who complain the main character of a Star Wars movie is too over powered... But it's fun when Rey's friends get back with the Plot and we get some trio interaction for once. Didn't like that the Kyle force Skype calls are still a thing but whatever, it's time to save the universe in 16 hours!

Speaking of Kyle, when he fixes his helmet I read the red sections as burning hot metal at first and thought he was actually burning his face to wear the thing for the drama. The fact he actually used like red hot glue or something is even more hilarious tho.

We get an adventure to find a knife which shows more plot threads, that Rey can Force heal, Finn has something to tell her, and the most ridiculous tug of war match is ended by a little lightning. It's pretty clear what Rey's newly retconned family situation is shaping up to be and someone is gonna be deathly wounded for her to heal. Meanwhile I guess Finn probably tells Rey he has the force in some deleted scene I guess because even when it comes back up it's never properly resolved...

We have some flirts with character death. It's kinda hilarious actually. They aren't even played out for drama as they're resolved fairly quickly. Meanwhile Rey's plot has pretty much just become her Skype calls to Kyle. They keep talking about why Rey didn't "take his hand." I know what they mean but I just keep cracking up because my brain just adds "in marriage" after that. Seriously, it works as Kyle whining about "why don't you liiiiike me?????" but eventually he drops the bomb on her parents identities a second time. Like seriously, why do they keep having Kyle do this? Is it his job? Like Vader revealed Luke's parentage, Kyle must update Rey on hers to live up to him? It's especially delightful how Rey's Palpatiness told, dancing on the base story given last movie as it retcons it away.

Oh yes, Rey's parents were nobodies. It's her grandpa who's the important one! XD

I can't make this up.

So like I know this *said* Rey was sold to protect her but like... Is the drinking money still canon as well? Cause that was never directly addressed. Was is a 2 for 1 deal? Protect daughter and have credits for booze before zombiebot Palpatine's cult kills you? I just... The keeping half of it and glossing over the rest is as funny as Kyle just randomly knowing the "wrong" past last movie.

Also I don't want to know why Palpatine had a son. I'm just saying he was a science experiment and moving on because I do Not like the alternative.

The heroes continue the quest. Rey keeps getting isolated from the group. Finn meets a new friend I half expected to be revealed as his sister because it's been that kind of movie. Like seriously, there was even a scene where Kyle strangled someone criticizing the Sith as some mystic cult to harken back to a New Hope. It would have been on brand.

Rey finds the plot mcguffin. Fights herself. Kyle shows up from literally nowhere. They fight so the special effects team can practice their water effects. Leia dies to say Kyle's name for some reason and this turns him good?

Well whatever it's just about climax time!

Rey has a brief detour where Luke Skywalker tells her that maybe hiding on a porg filled planet isn't the answer. We find Leia got Jedi training but put it aside seeing that it would lead to her son death. That's just... Really something in hindsight. But regardless, Rey's on her way to fight Palps with two lightsabers and the resistance at her back.

Now the real fun part! Palpatine! A Sith choir! Lightning! A ridiculous soulmate plot that I'm wondering was poached from a probably better written fic!

I love that it's supposed to be a shock that Palpatine wanted Rey alive. Like I was confused when he claimed the opposite. This is the villain who is evil for the lolz. He doesn't think anyone could truly bring him down, no matter the power he thinks himself on step ahead. And yes! Gloriously yes! Palpatine is seriously written from pieced together memes. He is nothing but "dew it" and "the dark side has many powers some would call unnatural" and "strike me down with your hatred!"

He's a zombie robot thing who's been behind everything. He has these super duper stardestroyers that all have death star lasers and lightning powers so strong he can... Temporarily disrupt all the electronics on a fleet of ships? Like it's not enough to actually kill anyone just pause the battle I guess? Oh but he has ALL the Sith in him and whoever kills him then gets possessed as well. And he can heal himself by sucking energy from Rey and Kyle's extra special soulmate bond. And he has a choir backing up his evil sith ways.

It's so over the top.

I can't take it seriously.

And I think that's my review.

It's hilarious, ridiculous, and I didn't take anything seriously. It's great for a laugh.

We get scenes like Chewie finally getting a medal. Anakin Skywalker's lightsaber being buried in the Tatooine sand. A resurrection. We get a bunch of joke theories thrown in a blender and given a budget. Critically speaking this is a mess. Speaking as me it was a cracktastic laughfest.

#star wars spoilers #star wars rise of skywalker #star wars ix #star wars #star wars review

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grandmasterofwangxiancultivation · 6 years ago

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MDZS ch.99

I am so nervous I can’t even begin to explain guys, people keep telling me these chapters are gonna break me and i am like do i want to go through with this? do i? well, apparently, yes.

But he didn’t know that after Lan WangJi, Wen Ning, and he departed from Lotus Pier, Jin Ling secretly went to find him. Realizing he was gone, he threw a tantrum at his uncle who ran madly around, making people unsheathe their swords. He criticized that Wei WuXian ran away all because of him, and Jiang Cheng slammed him on the ground right after. And so, Jin Ling decided that he might as well do everything, taking Fairy to trace Wei WuXian’s tracks.

nxhwkdydo BABE. T-that’s my boy, I- I am touched omg- HE WENT AFTER WWX. HE WENT A G A I N S T HIS UNCLE. FOR WWX.

Guys I love Jin Ling so much, I need him safe and warm and protected somewhere away from here xkshxkshzkai

EDIT:

Jin GuangYao, “Find it and kill it. The dog’s quite bright. It wouldn’t do us well if it led someone over.”

YOU ATROCIOUS BASTARD, IF FAIRY DIES-

THAT’S IT, YOU’RE HOPELESS IF YOU’RE EVEN GOING AFTER A DOG, I WANNA STRANGLE YOU

EDIT 2:

Jin GuangYao asked instead, “A-Ling, what are you doing here?”

Jin Ling glanced at Wei WuXian, unsure of how to respond. Suddenly, Lan XiChen spoke up, “Sect Leader Jin, Jin Ling is still a child.”

(I'M SO NERVOUS RN

JL not saying he was worried about wwx is so sweet and angsty, I need them to talk it through in a calm and peaceful environment, so KILL JGY AND GO

Lxc won't let anything bad happen to you. I know. He wouldn’t.)

Jin GuangYao broke into a smile, “Brother, what are you thinking? Of course, I know Jin Ling’s not only a child but my nephew as well. What did you think I’d do? Silence him by murder?”

(honestly? Yeah. That's what all of us is thinking, you bitch. So try to fool someone else)

EDIT 3:

Jin GuangYao turned around, “They still haven’t dug it up yet? Tell the people inside to hurry up!”

What the hell is he even doing

EDIT 4: again, why does it always look like when the bad and the good guys are talking, it’s like they met up for tea, i love this easy going/killing intent atmosphere

Lan XiChen, “It was quite a shame. I was fooled by lies and lost my spiritual powers. Even though I carry Shuoyue and Liebing, they will not be of much help.”

Wei WuXian, “No need to feel ashamed. After all, lying is one of LianFang-Zun’s greatest skills.”

There, THERE, lxc didn't betray anyone, of course, and wwx managed to tell him not to feel sorry with a couple of words, I love them.

EDIT 5:

Jin GuangYao ordered the monks, “Lay out an array. When HanGuang-Jun comes later, stop him as long as you can.”

Wei WuXian, “How are you so sure that HanGuang-Jun would come?”

(Wwx. Darling. Even walls know.)

Lan XiChen, “Young Master Wei, if WangJi is around, why is he not with you?”

Wei WuXian, “We’re acting separately.”

Lan XiChen, however, paused in surprise, “I heard you injured yourself when you left Burial Mound. Why would he act separately with you at such a time?”

(I know lxc, I know. That's the kind of obliviousness I dealt with for almost a hundred chapters. Pls be patient with him)

Jin GuangYao found this strange, “You two got two rooms?”

Wei WuXian, “Who told you we’d definitely get one room?”

(okay, this- ptf- this is a bit funny, okay? The thought of lxc chatting with jgy about his brother's affection for wwx... dunno, it's funny how, even if they are enemies, they all look at wwx like "are you serious? different rooms? please")

EDIT 6:

However, there was no joking tone in Lan XiChen’s voice, “Young Master Wei, did something happen between you two?”

LXC ONE-TRACKED MIND SCREAMING "PROTECT BABY BROTHER" and wwx reminding him that this arc's enemy is watching and smiling at them? I'll add this to the reasons why I love this novel

EDIT 7:

Jin GuangYao, “Of course not. I just had to comment. HanGuang-Jun spent so many years in yearning, and even today he hasn’t gotten his happy ending yet. Not only does Sect Leader Lan have a good reason to feel impatient, even an outsider can’t bear watching it.”

SERIOUSLY

SERIOUSLY?!?!

Ekxywkxuwluxoeudos

IS JGY AMONG EVERYONE GOING TO SAY IT?

REALLY?

I'M FREAKING OUT

IS THIS THE WAY WWX WILL FIND OUT-

I REFUSE

THIS IS NOT HAPPENING RN N O T H A P P E N I N G

This is not fair.

I WANNA STEP OF JGY'S FACE SO BAD

EDIT 8: wwx is getting angsty (AND IT’S BREAKING MY HEART TO SEE HIM LIKE THIS, LIKE HE IS HURT AND HOPEFUL AT THE SAME TIME) and lxc and jgy don't understand if he is playing dumb or not. I know guys, i know, but he is really that oblivious, you need to be patient. JUST NOT NOW, OKAY? AND IT'S NOT ANY OF YOUR BUSINESS LET WWX AND LWJ SPEAK ABOUT IT- tho, if no one explains it to wwx, the truth will never find the light.

WHAT SHOULD I HOPE FOR-

EDIT 9:

Lan XiChen was shocked, “Young Master Wei, could it be that even after you spent such a long time together with WangJi, you still do not know of his feelings?”

SHIT IT'S HAPPENING. OMG I need to pause for a sec.

*breathes*

YEAH RIGHT PAUSE, AS IF

EDIT 10: OMG OMG OMG WWX BABE

EDIT 11:

Wei WuXian, “Whip scars?!” He grabbed Lan XiChen again, “Sect Leader Lan, I really don’t know. Please tell me, just how did he get those injuries? How could they possibly be related to me?!?”

Anger could be seen on Lan XiChen’s face, “If it were not related to you, could he have done those to himself without a reason?!”

i knew it. I'm sobbing so hard. it was so obvious. omg this is too painful, i can't bear it.

EDIT 12:

But after he scrutinized Wei WuXian’s expression, he suppressed some of his anger, trying, “Your… memory is damaged?”

DAMAGED what wait no i'm not ready for this, too. i am not ready to find out about the rest of wwx's story pls-

EDIT 13:

Wei WuXian murmured, “The time at Nightless City? I-I’ve always thought I somehow walked back on my own. Could it be…”

I don't understand, what is lxc trying to say, i'm scared of reading the rest. I don't want to. Help help help i don't want to read but I wanna know-

I'm thinking something very atrocious right now and I don't want it to be confirmed. a part of me hypothesised that maybe lwj hadn't been there when wwx died, which sounded kinda impossible, but if it's like this...

EDIT 14: this is so, so sad and yet so lwj. he limped after him in the battlefield, followed him, gave him his spiritual energy. how in love lwj is, one can never truly marvel at the strength of his feelings for wwx, or imagine how hard it must have been for him to do the right thing and fight against his love while trying to protect him. I'm crying so hard I just... *takes a deep breath and keeps reading*

EDIT 15: omg

EDIT 16: No no no no no

EDIT 17: this is not true. Omg pls stop talking, lxc.

EDIT 18: NO NO NO NO NO OMG I can feel my heart breaking and it's killing me. God, he wasn't there when wwx died. Pls

EDIT 19: OMG OMG OMG I'M DYING ISLXJELCW I JUST IMAHSLAnxjsmzjslsjxow

EDIT 20:

... In his whole life he had been honest and righteous and immaculate—you were the only mistake he made! ...

this is... i think this is the climax of it all, this is, in a way, so painful and so beautiful, i need to think about this for a while and i am loving lxc more than i could ever imagine

EDIT 21: okay no no no no no no no wait- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL TO WRITE GUYS PLS HOW WHY IT'S NOT WWX'S FAULT, HE DIDN'T TRICK LWJ HE JUST DIDN'T KNOW AND YES HE WAS AN ASS BUT-

EDIT 22: lwj iS WHERE SORRY HE IS HERE???? DJSHZJUWHD HE HEARD?? OMG stop this. Stop this right now. This angst is too much TOO MUCH BUT OF COURSE, SINCE MXTX GAVE US SMUT NOW SHE'S TRYING TO KILL US

EDIT 23:

But with nervousness, Wei WuXian felt all of the things he wanted to say crumple up inside of his stomach. His abdomen cramped. He could only murmur, “… Lan Zhan.”

Please- *holds her breath*

EDIT 24:

Lan WangJi’s gaze landed on Wei WuXian’s neck. His face paled slightly.

An almost unnoticeable guqin string, light and golden, was tied around Wei WuXian’s neck.

I'm gonna throw up from anxiety. I'm dying. THIS CAN'T HAPPEN NOW, AFTER ALL THAT'S BEEN SAID. someone takes that thing away from wwx and freaking CRASH JGY. CRASH HIM. THAT BASTARD HAD IT ALL PLANNED OUT, DISTRACTING EVERYONE WITH THAT. CRASH HIM NOW.

#grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #the grandmaster of demonic cultivation #the founder of diabolism #the founder of evil magic #mdzs novel #mdzs fangirling mode #mdzs ch.99 #mdzs translation spoilers

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alo-piss-trancy · 5 years ago

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SD/R2 OMO HEADCANONS (Pt1)

Decided it was probably time for me to post a list of my omo hcs for this game since I did the THH chars! Like with the other list, I'll be excluding a couple I have no interest in thinking of omo content of (in this case, Hiy/oko and Teru/teru). I'm breaking this one into multiple posts throughout the week as I compile my thoughts (I'll add a link to all of them on the fic masterlist page later so you can find them all) because I feel this is gonna be a lot longer than my THH post haha!

Here we go, the first 3 (or 4) chars! Please stop reading now if you don't want spoilers for the game bc there will be several!!!

~~~

Gun/dham:

* I firmly hc him as vegetarian (not vegan. He will consume byproducts like milk/cheese/eggs/etc, but only harvested himself or from small farms/sources that he has personally vetted/researched where he knows 100% that the creatures are treated ethically.)

* That's actually not omo-related besides milk oops but it relates to my next point, which is that for the most part he prefers Natural food/drink. Water, fruit or vegetable juices/smoothies, etc. He's not really used to strange 'Human' confections like soda or coffee, so the caffeine and diuretics hit him hard and fast and make it difficult for him to estimate how much time he has. It also makes him jittery/hyped as hell which Does Not Help.

* As long as he isn't screwed over by caffeine or a ton of drinks, he has a decently strong bladder and can hold for a long time. He has a lot of practice from hiding/waiting to help certain animals, laying trapped under sleeping cats/dogs, etc. And also avoiding public restrooms like the Plagues they are for most of the day...

* He's bladdershy AF and has been since early childhood. I saw he had signs drawn on the doors/curtain in his room during my playthrough (including the bathroom) and that is definitely his safezone. Can't go outside either bc 1. He's paranoid he'll be seen by other ppl and 2. That feels disrespectful to the nature deities despite the logic that animals do it all the time. He knows that's dumb and he hates himself for it.

* Sometimes I do like to ignore the bladdershy hc just for some variety. Even in that case tho he'd still be a bit of a diva about which public bathrooms he uses. If it's gross or weird he's gonna avoid it/complain/refuse to go even if bursting. He's stubborn af

* We all know he canonically goes commando. Therefore he is in extra danger because any leaks will go straight to his pants RIP Since he usually wears black it isn't that visable (as long as it's just a bit and not a full wetting), but if he ever has to wear smth else u know he's screwed c':

* He's not very vocal when desperate at all. Mostly strangled whines or grunts (only when alone or if so urgent he can't hide it), he's just so easily embarrassed that he can choke most sound.

* He can also hide his body language pretty well. He can manage to keep himself to rigid posture and the occasional shudder or fidget if needed. Only when he's beyond caught and about to wet will he resort to obvious grabs or dances in front of others.

* Even if he wet he wouldn't cry (I don't seem him crying much for anything tbh, barring extreme things like death). He's angry at himself and extremely ashamed. He would get red as a tomato, attempt to slink away and avoid any witnesses for several days. Could get snippy or hide in his shell all pitiful, depending on the person.

* When alone or sure he can't be caught, he'll fidget more once things are dire. Mostly his long-ass legs. Jiggling, crossing, bending at the knees or bouncing up and down, shuffling from foot-to-foot, everything. He doesn't really do much with his hands beyond a quick crotch-squeeze.

* He'd def let Haj/ime or So/nia dom tf out of him as far as making him hold/lose control, he's submissive and enjoys the challenging test of limits. However, I could also see him totally having a thing for 'marking' his partners during the times he doms.

So/nia:

* Lowkey has a bladder of steel tbh, tho you'd never expect it by looking at her. It takes a lot to get her desperate and even more for her to crack enough to show her needs to others.

* She had a lot of long lectures/lessons, meetings, social events, formal balls, etc. growing up, so she just got used to waiting a lot between breaks so as not to interrupt or be rude to her guests. This also makes her wicked good at remaining completely calm on the outside and keeping the quiver out of her tone even when she's absolutely dying.

* Even once people know her problem, she would NEVER grab herself or dance. Literally the most you'll get out of her is legs crossed at the ankles. For the most part the only sign of her desperation is the slight fullbody shivering where she has her muscles and posture strained. If you're very lucky she may wince or her voice will start shaking/get breathy (her breathing gets super fast and shallow when at her absolute limit. Like nearly hyperventilating fast).

* While not shy at all about asking/telling others where she's going, she was raised with manners. She refuses to interrupt while others are busy, and will wait until she feels the time is appropriate to but into convos or leave the room, even if that could take a long time. She will not skip out on a group task if she can help it bc she feels very strongly about doing her part and not coming off as a slacker (so group investigations/new island exploring/building for Us/ami in Island Mode are all LONG tasks she will force herself to stick out without complaint, even if she's about to wet herself).

* Despite being a princess, she definitely doesn't view anything as being 'beneath' her. If someone asks her to just go outside/in a sketchy place/strange receptacle, she'll do it without question as soon as they agree to glance away. In fact, sometimes it's actually a little thrilling.

* If she did wet herself she would certainly be embarrassed, maybe even teary-eyed depending on the situation/who was around. However, it certainly isn't the end of the world for her, and she would be able to brush it off fairly easily once she got cleaned up and had a chance to breathe. Could probably start making jokes about it by the next day, or just wait patiently for everyone to forget about it.

* Probably has a big piss kink (for others. She isn't much on doing holds herself, minus an occasional 'Damsel in Distress' type roleplay). And honestly just a big one for domming others (sometimes sweetly, sometimes cold/cruel like True Royalty). She looks cute but She Nasty (tm). Gun/dham and Haji/me (to a lesser extent, bc his smart-ass take-no-shit attitude makes him a bit of a brat sometimes lol) are her bitches.

M/ikan (I have to split hers in two bc I have polar opposite hcs) :

Non-Despair M/ikan -

* Is every bit as shy uwu ohnoooo~ as you'd imagine. Super blushy and fidgety and teary-eyed but never admits what's wrong even once it's obvious, to the point of potty-dancing in place (but she's Totally Fine she can hang in there and doesn't need to stop what she's doing)! You literally have to drag her away to the bathroom if u don't want her to have an accident. Would rather die than inconvenience anyone by telling them she has to go, will berate herself for the inconvenience when that backfires and she's made a mess of herself, 120% convinced everyone hates her and p much refuses any comfort bc she's so trapped in the spiral. Bawls her eyes out.

* If on a rare occasion she does work up the nerve to speak up and is denied, that's it. She will not dare ask again even if the person didn't realize how badly she had to go. Nope. Clearly her only option is to hold it until she can't anymore, or until she's alone and can run off by herself.

*Also she totally would whimper to herself in The Worst omo video star voice lmao "Oh noooo I'm leaking into my panties~, it's cOmIng OuTtttt~ uwu uwu uwu" (i'm not making fun of those istg but u know Exactly what 'sexy baby' voice I mean. That is Mi/kan. Don't be so fake bitch We Know u didn't fall spread eagle naturally)

* Says 'Potty' unironically. It's the only word she uses for the bathroom.

* Surprisingly not bladdershy at all. She's actually the opposite. Will go Anywhere (but will be embarrassed while doing it).

* She's used to holding a lot bc afraid to leave class/stuck helping patients for hours on end. However while she has a wicked high capacity and stays very hydrated, she has pretty shaky control. Leaks A LOT, be it in general or bc she gets startled/nervous. She's like a chihuahua lmao. She wears medical liners when on duty as a nurse or during school, but for general hangouts she forgoes them (totally bc she forgot and Not bc she wanted to show her wet panties off to strangers/peers when she falls again, that would be Slu/tty and Improper).

* Once held for ages and then ended up wetting herself just bc Hiy/oko told her to. It wasn't actually a request, just a one-off snippy comment that H forgot about like 10 min after she said it and walked away. When she found out Mi/kan took it seriously she absolutely lost it laughing for the next few days

*Her potty dances include lots of thighs rubbing together/hunching over, hands wandering dangerously close only to pause and grip her skirt/dress hem, hopping from leg to leg and shaking at the knees. She's pitiful when desperate and very cute. Pants and whimpers near constantly, nibbles at her knuckles to try and muffle it.

* Knows when she's at risk of actual damage from holding, but it's still a 50/50 shot of whether she'll break down and go or keep trying to hold. She knows it's unwise, but due to her complete lack of self worth she doesn't really care if her own body is damaged.

* That said, she monitors everyone else very closely and will harass them firmly to take breaks if they're at risk.

Despair/True Mik/an -

* MASSIVE PISS KI/NK. Loves to be dommed/told to hold until she wets. LOVES to do the same to others and tell them all the mean things for a change. She will borderline Break You.

* Takes great satisfaction in watching others struggle. If given an opportunity to make others desperate/prevent them from getting to a bathroom without revealing herself, she will definitely take it. She has no sympathy.

* The Queen of lacing things with diuretics, but can also often find that boring/too easy. A bit disdainful of that method tbh.

* Tying ppl down to hold or hooking them to IVs and 'misplacing' the call button is more her style.

* Used to hold for Jun/ko a lot to appease her. Would be willing to hold for Na/gito, but tbh he's just as willing to hold for her so it's a bit of a stalemate and they've yet to work out who does what.

* Will piss on her victim/lover while staring them directly in the eyes. Does not flinch. She toes the line between sexy and just plain creepy lol

#omocute #omorashi #fandomo #fictomo #bear txt #drspoilers

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sillyfudgemonkeys · 6 years ago

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Persona 5 Problems: “Goro can’t escape Shido” doesn’t make sense

Might be a pt 1. But before I get into it, what I mean here is “Goro can’t escape Shido” doesn’t makes sense in the context of the characters interactions that we see nor the rules or the world we see in Persona 5.”

I probably could title this as “Atlus doesn’t know how to utilize it’s Metaverse and everything around it is shit pt 1: In relation to Goro” but that’d be too long, and it gives you more insight on what’s in store. 8U

Also this isn’t to rag on Goro, but the failure of the writing with P5. I mean I hate Goro, partially for his writing partially for how I think he’s a jerk and not in a fun way (cause I do like characters who are jerks but he just doesn’t jive with me)....this for full transparency (esp if you are new). 8U That being said I wont’ tag it as Goro cause I’m not a jerk, I’ll tag it as anti I guess but...........yeah in retrospect after typing this I do kinda take a dump on his writing so anti tag it is. 0u0

Now why arm I talking about this? Well a new chapter of P5MM came up and.....well this picture appeared:

Now I love Saito, the manga is pretty good, so this is nothing against Saito. My issue is.....I guess the over victimization of Goro esp when it 1) makes no sense and 2) is contradictory.

Now do I think an antagonist that is a victim doesn’t make sense? No. What doesn’t make sense is that P5 doesn’t bother to develop it. P5 throws out the bare minimum of hints all while making NO SENSE how that could work. So fans have to fill in the blanks, and that’s either making him more sympathetic or like me who’s either deciding to start master blasting holes everywhere or is ready to throw this suit case out all together.

I know a lot of fans, and adaptations (such as this) kinda lean towards making Goro more sympathetic. I DON’T BLAME THEM. Like I said, there’s a lot of holes to fill in. And one of them is his relationship with Shido, something VERY crucial to the plot and is.....glossed over with like a few min worth of dialogue.

Anyway what am I getting at? The issue that annoys me a lot, and that was shown in this picture that hair-triggered me into wanting to write this, was the fact “Goro is being controlled by Shido/Goro has no power and Shido has his claws into him/Goro can’t escape Shido.” As seen in the pictured above, you see Goro has hands to his throat and Shido has an overwhelming presence. Goro is trapped by Shido. And a lot of people will agree with this. It’s understandable because the game half assidly will say things like “you know what happens to people who defy me!” and basically threatening Goro’s life. EXCEPT IT’S ALL BULLSHIT!

“Woah that’s a little extreme what do you mean?” I mean it, Goro is not being controlled by Shido. It’s annoying P5 even INSINUATES that possibility in its writing! It makes no sense for Goro to be the powerless one here, not with the game we were given. And it’s amazing this wasn’t caught in the writers room. This is how that scene should’ve gone down given what we know:

Shido: You know what happens to people who oppose me! Goro: Yeah motherfucker, you send me! What do you want me do? Kill myself? What are you a 14 year old troll on the internet? Do you want me to kill you for threatening me-you scrotum looking asshole?

Just freaking think about it, Shido or his confidants want a breakdown? Send Goro. They want a shutdown or to possibly kill someone? Send Goro. What the fudge is Shido doing threatening the guy who does his dirty work? Is he gonna kill him himself? No. Shido is a gd moron.

“But what about the cleaner guy?” Great question! And here’s my answer! What about him? No seriously what could anyone but the PT or a god do to Goro? Nothing.

“But how is that nothing?!” Easy, Goro can take him out, breakdown or shutdown, before he could hurt Goro. If Shido sic’d anyone on Goro, Goro could easily take down Shido, the cleaner, and anyone related to either who know they should take Goro down. All thanks to the Metaverse. And because of that “Goro is trapped by Shido because he’s threatening Goro with death” is such a BS excuse by the game.

“But what about Shido’s knowledge of the Metaverse? Didn’t he say he could utilize it?” Yeah what about it? The game doesn’t showcase HIM using the Metaverse. He always sends Goro. Which is REALLY FREAKING WEIRD considering he still acts this way, knowing full well Goro is missing. Like how are you going to do it Shido???? 1) you need an app first and foremost, 2) you’ll need a Persona or else you’ll get rekt’d! YOUR LOGIC MAKES NO SENSE! And him knowing about how the Meteverse works is just bs plot device so that we can shoo away how he could believe Goro in the first place let’s be honest.

The only people who use the Metaverse that we don’t know how they got there was the SWAT team that busted the MC, and while not explained it’s possible Goro had something to do with it (either giving someone his phone, since multiple people can go in with just one phone). That’s the only thing that makes sense, since only app users (aka PT+Goro) can got to that world. Tho the cut content seem to indicate even the police don’t know:

And it seems that you only get the app if you have a Persona (minus Goro, MC, and Futaba), cause that’s what Yadly wants:

(btw Ryu’s first pic is pre awakening and the 2nd is post awakening, Futaba’s the only one to get her’s before her Persona with the exception of Goro/MC, but Yadly must’ve thought she was useful or some shit judging by his dialogue early on in the game XP)

But yeah, bringing this up because it’s relevant to know who can and who can’t use the Metaverse. Goro CAN. Shido/Shido’s confidants CANNOT. Goro has the advantage. Shido does not. Goro holds all the cards. Shido’s a gd moron.

As for how Goro could end Shido and his Confidants. If for some reason Goro doesn’t know some of Shido’s confidants JUST BY WORKING WITH THEM, then he can find out through Shido’s Palace. Shido’s Palace literally contains every single one of his CoOps in Cognition form. Which means he probably knows their name, and all Goro really needs is a name cause that’s the hard part. Once he interrogates all the Cognitions and Shadow Shido, he takes Shadow Shido out, go after the real CoOps’ shadow, interrogates them (plus cognitions if they have a palace), and work his way down the latter until know one is after him. He can also squat in the Metaverse if for some reason the heat is really on him, and what’s the worse that could happen? They get pulled in with him? Well that’s bad....FOR THEM! Cause Goro has more powers there, his Persona, he’s stronger and more durable. There’s really no losing here.

So again, one last time. “SHIDO’S THREATS ON GORO’S LIFE MAKES NO SENSE BECAUSE GORO HAS THE POWER TO END SHIDO NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!”

“Well what about his strangle on giving Goro affection?” Ok, ngl....been awhile....but I legit have NO RECOLLECTION of Goro or Shido showing any possible fatherly affection. I feel like I’ve seen more of the fans make this argument then the game. If the game did then it was just....such a throwaway line, and it’s a classic “P5 tell don’t show” move. Coupled with how contradictory the writing is with the way the story is built (like show literally above in how Goro’s life should not be threatened like AT ALL). P5 goes out of its way to show how much Goro HATES Shido and HE CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HIM GO DOWN! That doesn’t seem like someone hesitating cause he wants a hug from daddy. The only reason he waits so long was because he wanted him to be prime minister (or just close to election) and then bring him down from the highest pedestal. THAT’S IT. He has so much more backing that then “I really wanted a daddy figure that gave me pats on the head and told me I was a good boy.” If P5 WAS going for that then they did an even piss poor job than with the issue above.

And listen, I’m NOT saying that’s not something that couldn’t have happened, I’m saying the writing makes it not really support it or have it make sense. (edit: after typing this I vaguely recalled Shido saying that all Shido had to do was tell Goro he was a good boy and he thought he had him wrapped around his finger-of course this could’ve just been a tumblr post I read that’s how much I remember Shido praising Goro XP, and lkfsd;lakvl;vs this is soooooo batshit all over the place, are you controlling him with fear of death or love???? cause neither are working here bro. Btw at the bottom I go into a route in which this COULD work, but it means dropping the whole fear of death bs argument I made at the very beginning, and even then it’s not Shido actually controlling Goro, it’s him thinking he does.)

And if anyone says “What about destroying his career and social-hood by revealing Goro is a bastard?” And give Goro the platform, the audiences’ full attention for him to be like “YEAH AND GUESS WHO MY DAD IS?! :D” Like, considering Shido figured out Goro was his son, it’d be even more stupid of him to think he could do that when it’d be social suicide for him. As for Goro? That was his plan all along, nothing to lose! Maybe it’s not as high of a fall that he wanted, but he’s still bringing him down!

Now despite this rant, I’m NOT saying Goro isn’t a victim. As a bastard/foster child in Japan, he is a victim for their horrible treatment towards that group. That can’t be argued and in all honesty if it was just that I’d be happy. What I don’t think he is a victim of is Shido, at least beyond the parental abandonment (he is a victim for his dad being horrible and not marrying his mother and stuff like that OBVIOUSLY), by Shido I mean the Conspiracy related stuff. Making it out so that Shido controlled Goro the whole time, that Goro had no agency, that Goro couldn’t oppose him. That’s what I hate. I hate how people make him such a woobie victim when....he very well probably wasn’t. When he made Goro kill, it’d make more sense for Goro to be scared of losing his connection to Shido (aka not being able to monitor him and continue his plan) than be scared Shido might kill him (I mean he had freaking superpowers what the fudge?). But if people looked at it like that then Goro would be more in the wrong no? Choosing to value his goals of revenge over other’s? Maybe he didn’t want to kill but he still CHOSE because his own goals meant more than someone else’s life. But noooooo that would hurt him being a victim right? We need to make it all Shido’s fault! Goro did nothing wrong! Right? So we made it seem like Shido could threaten Goro’s life, make it a kill or be killed situation, even when it made no sense.

I think Goro could been good, could’ve been complex. A boy who was an abandon bastard son of a politician, mistreated and abused by society until teenhood, suddenly granted the power to get revenge on his father, and going to any lengths, even if it broke his own moral code, because he was that dedicated to bringing down someone? That’s interesting, it’s simple. But “ A boy who was an abandon bastard son of a politician, mistreated and abused by society until teenhood, suddenly granted the power to get revenge on his father, forced to go to any lengths because he ended up in a trap by said father he wants to take down, even if it MIGHT (cause Atlus be chickens and “ambiguous”) be against his own moral code but like he’s being forced by his dad so is it really his fault? That? Fudge that. That’s needlessly confusing, it’s bending itself all out of shape to try to purify this character....and I hate it.

There’s also the weird contradiction on Shido’s end where it’s like “He’s super paranoid that he kills people, and he doesn’t trust Goro since he plans to kill him, but he trusts him enough for certain things that he doesn’t need to double check on himself even if it poses a threat to him like I dunno checking IF THE GD MC BODY IS DEAD?! >:(”

I dunno, I just think Goro having the strongest conviction to take down Shido (even killing because he wants to take him down so badly for what he did), with Shido not knowing Goro is his son and actually trusting him (with maybe gaining suspicions later towards the end for plot drama) because he’s so confident he groomed Goro into being his perfect little follower, is just so much more interesting? Goro is still a victim, but he’s not the perfect or “bending the character out of shape” to be perfect victim. He was hurt horribly and chose to deal with it in an....unhealthy way. It also makes the two seem reasonable, Shido thinks he’s in control because he took this starry eyed follower under his wing not because he’s threatening him with violence. Even tho we know Shido isn’t in control, Goro just likes to think he’s in control.

;tldr: I hate how people (and even Atlus/the game) try to twist Goro into being this perfect victim, all while saying “well he does do bad things but it’s because of Shido!” instead of letting Goro be accountable and have it make logical sense in the game (because the game is a hot garbage mess).

So yeah this concludes a 5 am rant I started yesterday. 8U

#persona 5 #p5 #anti-goro akechi #anti goro akechi #anti goro #anti-goro #this doesn't even cover the possibility that goro's real personality might be 100% shit bag and might be fine with killing #queue #q #random hyper focusing at 5 am woot 8U #persona problems #persona 5 problems #again this is more an issue with the illogical and inconsistent writing in P5

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huangfilms · 6 years ago

Text

Prince!Chenle

summary: you’re a member of the royal family and I didn’t know and you ran into me in the village and I completely told you off oh my god || prince!au

(A/N) o-oh my god i’m back from the dead with some prince chenle hope u enjoy (im a lil rusty so leave me some feedback Please! also,,, its not proofread haha aslkdjfhals Please Spare Me)

okay so you live in the village

your mom told you prior that you need to just walk over to your grandma’s house and drop sumn off

and to get to her house, you have to cut into the uhhh

the place where all the store stands are

u know like the market place ish

and so your holding a lot of stuff in your arms and you just walk with your eyes on the floor, watching where you step

and you lift your head up at times so you can see if you’re ever going to bump into someone

guess what

you rlly done goofed cause you Look Up and right as you do theres this body that collides with yours

and you drop

e v e r y t h i n g

then you just stop and you get rlly pissed off

you look up rly dramatically and slowly and you meet a pair of eyes that actually look a lil scared

(ugh poor bby chenle im rlly srry)

‘are you serious??? were you just not paying attention??? do you seriously have no coordination on where you’re going??????’

and then you let out a huff and start to pick up your things and place them back in your basket

while you do that you’re just muttering to yourself, ‘GOSH my mom is literally going to whoop me if she finds out i dropped gma’s stuff’

and then you see the guy kneel in front of you and start to help

‘um...... i can do this by myself, you can go ahead and bump into someone else now’

and he just looks at you with this expression you cant read

then he slowly gets up

‘prince chenle, we need you back at the kingdom right away, your mother is asking for you.’

and then you freeze up

p-prince ????? w-what ????????

two plus tw o equals pie ??????

then you start to panic and you hurriedly place the rest of your stuff in the basket and Run

you just Run To Your gma’s house

but you hear a soft ‘wait!’ when you run but you just Cannot

you’re SOOOOO embarrassed and when you arrive at your gma’s house your face is RED

and your ears are all flushed and your gma asks whats wrong

‘i just told off the prince because he bumped into me-’

in your defense he rlly didn’t look like a prince (wdym chenle ALWAYS looks like a prince smh)

he was wearing .... regular clothes so he Did Not Look Like A Prince

like,,,,,, yeah i dont know LOL

but then all your grandma does is LAUGH AT YOU

whats so funny??? blease omg hes gonna Have My Head omgomgomgsdhkjah

so your grandma just looks at you like you’re overreacting and says, “chenle is a nice boy!! he comes and visits me all the time sweetie.”

and then you freeze up because-

w hat ???? let me ??? move my ??? bang real quick ???

“grandma you what”

“chenle visits me all the time??? very nice boy, you’d like him !!”

and all she does is feed you then kick you outta the house to go home before it gets too dark

when you walk back your just rlly thinking ‘.... that happened huh ...’

AND THEN !!! you hear a lil yell of ‘hey!!’

and when you schnapp your head up you see the prince waving up at you with this Look on his face ???

so you just give him a weird glance and walk slowly towards him

“listen, about earlier i am so sor-”

“it’s fine !! hope you aren’t beating urself over it too much !! have a great evening ...?”

then u tell him ur name yadda yadda then he leaves and then ur like !!! haha what just happened !!!

so you go home and just sleep on it cause you kind of just dont want to think about it HAHA

so the next morning when you wake up your mom says to go to your gma’s again

just cause your gma wants to see you .. which is kind of odd

you only see your grandma during special occasions and when you drop things off

only because school/work has been taking a lot of your time

but just for your gma,,,,, you’ll visit her and forget the responsibilities for now

you walk there with confusion on your face because,,, although your grandma loves you, she doesn’t just spring on you and ask you to come over

so youre just curious about why she wants to see you (there isnt anything wrong with it !!! its just a lil odd)

when you arrive to her cottage you see this car outside and immediately become anxious

youre just treading slowly to the door, and then you raise your hand to knock,,, but youre hesitating A LOT

so time goes by (max. of like .. 5 minutes) and the door swings open to reveal your grandma

she puts you into a bone crushing hug, and then pulls you inside

“thank you for coming dear !! i want you to formally meet someone.”

and then you get SCARED scared

so when you turn to go into the living room, you nearly SCREAM

cause on the couch is mr prince chenle and you feel like one of the guards is going to strangle u with the glare they’re giving you

in your defense, you didnt Know ............ you told off the Prince .......

“chenle sweetie, this is my sweet grandchild i was telling you about !! they did tell me recently that you recently met.”

chenle blushes when he makes eye contact but you rlly dont now why cause You Told Him Off and thats rlly all you can think about HAHA

BUT in reality chenle isnt too bothered by that cause you didn’t immediately treat him like a Prince, you treated him like a regular person (albeit a lil ... Yikes)

and he actually thinks that you are the most gorgeous being in the World !! mayhaps lil prince even has a tiny crush on you !!!

when you Formally Introduce urself to him

ur grandma hits u w that, “sweetie can u help me n chenle garden some things !!”

and then she gestures u both to follow her in her backyard

she tells the guards to make themselves feel at home and leave out like lemonade or sumn

so you and chenle are just super awkward at first cause you dont know how to break the tension

also all you can think about once again: was that u rlly told him off

but then chenle starts to laugh really loudly at a joke your grandma says and then you just-

YOU WANT TO COO !! cause even tho his laugh is Super Loud, you find it endearing that he’s just letting loose like this

he catches you staring tho and he stops and he Blushes Again and you want to !!! squish !!

who doesnt want to squish chenle he’s literally such an angel and hes so adorable ugh i lov baby

so you both just start talking more and then by the end of the day you guys are just best buddies

you forget hes the prince too

but then u walk in to see the guards and ur all lik e... righ t...

its ok tho !! chenle is a person too !!

and honestly you guys make this a regular thing

you and chenle go to ur gmas house to garden every day or when you guys have the time

and essentially its just you guys pulling out weeds while talking about new and exciting things that happened to you recently

and your grandma just watches you guys get along and her heart is happy

cause chenle sometimes talks to her about him not making friends cause they always use him for his status

and so ur gma knows u arent like that and shes just really happy to see the two of you get along really well

days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months !! and you guys become really really close friends

some feelings develop too or .. whatever ..

but you dont acknowledge them cause youre just a person who lives in the viliage while hes a prince

chenle does though

and hes so shy about it that he blushes everytime you say his name or just smile at him

cause his heart goes !!!!!

he rlly likes you

and u rlly like him but u just dont know !!!

ye wutevr its 2018 and status rlly shouldnt matter but ur just rlly conscious about being judged and stuff

like even if u started to date him would his parents accept you

and then u snap out of ur thoughts cause chenle looks worried and you havent answered his question

haha he asked a question ???

‘you want to hang out with me tomorrow?? thats not gardening?? i-i mean its ok to say no haha i love gardening with you i just wanted to know if y-you wanted to try something new with me? i-i understand if you want to say no-’

‘chenle, sweetheart, breathe,’

and then he Blushes cause oh they just called me sweetheart and he just breathes

then you say you would love to !!!

and ur gma is just watching the Entire Thing with the guards

with popcorn and tea

and its literally the cutest little exchange ever cause youre both just blushing and red

so when tomorrow comes

chenle meets u at ur gmas house

and so like he holds his hand out for you to take and ur just !! heart into overdrive !!!

and then !!! he takes you to this ice skating rink cause youve mentioned before that you havent been

and he rented out the whole place so people wouldnt be bothering you two

and hes just nervous and so are you but since ur dont know how to skate youre just clinging to him for dear life

and hes such a blushing mess omg

the guards are just cooing at the both of you, some even join you on the ice

and you guys are just cracking jokes and having such a good time

there was a time where one of the guards fell on their ass and u two couldnt stop laughing

then chenle falls but since youre holding onto him you fall down too oops

and so ur just kinda ... laying down on him awkwardly and your guys’ faces are so CLOSE

but then you clear your throat and then you jump off of him

it gets kind of late and the guards are just like, “hate to break this cute and adorable moment, but your momma is calling you to be home prince”

and so chenle just blushes and gets up first, then holds his hand out again to help you up

it makes you sad when he has to leave, but he drops you off at home

when he does, he walks you to your door and then he says goodbye, but before he leaves

you feel a little bold and you kiss him on the cheek !!! so cute !!! cause then hes just RED ! and hes so flustured and he just waves bye and when he gets into his car

he just clutches his chest and has this big smile on his face and hes just so in awe

and the guards are teasing him but he really Does Not Care cause you just did : THAT

you kissed him on the cheek and hes so !!! about it

but you guys go out more often after this

and sometimes is just to hang out with your gma cause chenle has grown to love her HAHA

its become a thing where you kiss him on the cheek goodbye

wow cute

one day though, hes saying bye and hes looking away while youre about to kiss his cheek

but then he remembers he needs to tell you something

so right as your lips are about to kiss his cheek

his head turns and you two share a lil innocent peck

AND YOURE BOTH BLUSHING WOW

AND THE GUARDS ARE SO !!!!

o-ohmy gosh im so kilig you guys

CHENLE IS SO FLUSTURED THAT HE FORGETS WHAT HE WANTED TO TELL YOU

oh right he was about to CONFESS confess but like

ur flustered too so u rush out a goodbye and you LEAVE

and chenle is just !!!! ok ill tell them tomorrow !!!!

well tomorrow comes

and you dont show up

ur gma tells him that u’ve been exhausted cause of school, theyll probs be back tomorrow

so then he comes back tomorrow

and you arent there again

and this goes on for like a week

and he just Knows ur avoiding him

but like hes so fed up because he has been Waiting for the Right Time to confess to you

and so he goes over to ur house and then knocks

you answer the door and then your eyes grow wide and then u shut the door again

but chenle pushes it open and just “WAIT”

and so you just slowly open the door

“why have you been avoiding me??”

and ur just speechless cause haha avoiding you ?? why would i do that ???

and he gives you This Look

and then ur all like ... “OKAY !!! so ive been avoiding you .... what about it..”

and he just sighs and hes all serious and ur all !! cause chenle is barely serious alsdkf

“Listen,,, i really like you,”

you pause and you just look at him before grinning

“i really like you too chenle!!”

and he just looks Frustrated cause he thinks you arent getting it

“more than a friend way!!!”

and then you start to smile and ur all like .. “the feeling is mutual bub !”

and now HES pausing cause w-what

m-marty

but then you just hug him tightly and tell him how much you really like him !!!

and he goes !!!! oh my gosh !!!!

then you guys are just looking at each other and you really do forget that there are other people around you and he kisses you !!! wow !!!

please spare me ive never had my first kiss before HASKDJFHASD

BUT ANYWHO

you guys are always together now !! and he even lets you meet his parents and they immediately: love you

you basically hang around him a lot and when he says he has to do sum prince duties ur all like ... huh ... i forget ur a prince LMFOAJFH

but everything is good everything is well !!!

youre just content with what you have with chenle even tho u started off a lil rocky

you just !!! like him so much !!! life is good hehe

anway end !!! prince chenle: cutest lil headcannon but chenle is ALREADY a prince !!!

Masterlist

#nct #nct dream #nct scenarios #zhong chenle scenarios #abby writes #chenle scenario #zhong chenle #chenle #nct chenle #nct zhong chenle #chnel headcanon #prince!chenle #prince!au #nct dream scenarios #I AM BACK ... MOMENTARILY TO DROP THIS OFF .....#MAYBE ILL BE BACK AGAIN LATER !!!#MAYBE .#I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS ..#UH PLEASE LEVAE SOME FEEDBACK !! I NEED SUMN CAUSE I FEEL SUUPER RUSTY AHH #SDKJLHFASD #I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS AND IM SORRY ITS SO OVERDUE I FEEL SO Basdskjasd #ANYWAY IM WORKING ON A FEW THINGS !!!#HOPEFULLY WHEN I GET THE MOTIVATION TO DO IT ILL BE BACK AGAIN !!!#love you all with my heart thank you so much for 800 !!!#this isnt a milestone post or anything its just been in my drafts ..... for y-years ....#OK PERIOD THIS ISNT PROOFREAD SO IF THERES MISTAKES LEAVE ME ALONE AND ILL PROBABLY FIX THEM ...#PROBABLY

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flightfoot · 6 years ago

Text

Apollo has PTSD

So I’m planning on going through all of Apollo’s various mental issues that I’ve seen, was going to go through them all here... and then realized that PTSD was long enough to deserve a post on its own. Seriously, he’s shown signs of PTSD from SEVERAL different sources, though surprisingly enough, none from the events of TOA itself... yet. I’m betting that’ll change with Jason’s and Crest’s deaths, though.

PTSD

I think most people know what this looks like. It’s been discussed in popular culture rather a lot in recent years For those who don’t, here’s a quick briefing on it. I’m using that guide for my PTSD criteria.

Daphne: Even after all this time, he still harbors an intense guilt over her fate, has a tendency to start crying when reminded of her, and tries to avoid forests:

I wanted to say: You remind me of someone. But I didn’t dare open that line of conversation. Only two mortals ever had broken my heart. Even after so many centuries, I couldn’t think of her, couldn’t say her name without falling into despair. (THO 23)

As I said earlier, I was generally not a fan of the woods. I tried to convince myself that the trees were not watching me, scowling and whispering among themselves. They were just trees. Even if they had dryad spirits, those dryads couldn’t possibly hold me responsible for what had happened thousands of years ago on a different continent.

Why not? I asked myself. You still hold yourself responsible. (THO 43)

A woman whispered in my ear. This time I knew the voice well. It had never stopped haunting me. You did this to me. Come. Chase me again.

Fear rolled through my stomach.

I imagined the branches turning to arms; the leaves undulated like green hands.

Daphne, I thought.

Even after so many centuries, the guilt was overwhelming. I could not look at a tree without thinking of her. Forests made me nervous. The life force of each tree seemed to bear down on me with righteous hatred, accusing me of so many crimes….I wanted to fall to my knees. I wanted to beg forgiveness. But this was not the time.

I couldn’t allow the woods to confuse me again. I would not let anyone else fall into its trap. (THO 83)

Apollo can’t stop remembering what happened to her, checking off the “Re-experiencing” box. He shows avoidance symptoms: he tries to avoid things that remind him of her (which is pretty difficult, considering that “trees” are on that list, and he happens to love the outdoors). He doesn’t seem to have the arousal and reactivity symptoms all that badly, unless feeling tense while around reminders of the event counts. He definitely has the cognition and mood symptoms though, since he has those intense feelings of guilt and negative thoughts about himself, which he admitted in his failure song:

I sang of my failures, my eternal heartbreak and loneliness. I was the worst of the gods, the most guilt-ridden and unfocused. I couldn’t commit myself to one lover. I couldn’t even choose what to be the god of. I kept shifting from one skill to another—distracted and dissatisfied.

My golden life was a sham. My coolness was pretense. My heart was a lump of petrified wood. (145)

Of course, Daphne isn’t the only cause of his PTSD: not by a long shot.

Hyacinthus: While Apollo doesn’t seem to have quite as many PTSD symptoms in regard to Hyacinthus’s fate - his guilt over his death doesn’t appear to be quite as intense for starters, since Zephyros can reasonably be blamed for most of it - he still exhibits some of the symptoms. He feels intense sorrow over Hyacinthus’s fate, and has a tendency to break down when reminded of his death:

I opened my eyes and saw a ghost—his face just as precious to me as Daphne’s. I knew his copper skin, his kind smile, the dark curls of his hair, and those eyes as purple as senatorial robes.

“Hyacinthus,” I sobbed. “I’m so sorry…”

He turned his face toward the sunlight, revealing the ugly dent above his left ear where the discus had struck him. My own wounded face throbbed in sympathy.

“Seek the caverns,” he said. “Near the springs of blue. Oh, Apollo…your sanity will be taken away, but do not…”

His image faded and began to retreat. I rose from my sickbed. I rushed after him and grabbed his shoulders. “Do not what? Please don’t leave me again!”

[...]

How cruel to see them—the flowers that I had created to honor my fallen love, with their plumes stained red like his blood or hued violet like his eyes. They bloomed so cheerfully in the window, reminding me of the joy I had lost. (141).

Later, in Burning Maze, Apollo loses his temper in his grief over being reminded of Hyacinthus by Herophile’s crossword puzzle:

First the maze forced me to read Walt Whitman. Now it taunted me with my own past. To mention my dead love, to reduce him to a bit of Oracle trivia... No. This was too much.

I sat down on the rim of the fountain and cupped my face in my hands.

[...]

I surged to my feet, my sadness converting to anger. My friends edged away. I supposed I must have looked like a crazy man, and that’s indeed how I felt.

[...]

“Enough is enough! HYACINTH!” I yelled into the corridors. “The answer is HYACINTH! Are you happy?” (TBM 350-351)

His grief still feels fresh, even after all this time. Mind you, I don’t think what’s shown here alone is enough to say he has PTSD over Hyacinthus’s death in particular, but it just compounds the symptoms of PTSD he already had from other events.

That’s still not the end of PTSD symptoms Apollo has accrued over his lovers’ fates. Can’t forget about Commodus.

Commodus: Now, I’m gonna have some trouble categorizing “flashbacks” here. Apollo regularly gets overwhelmed with past memories while in his mortal form, and they frequently don’t appear to be PTSD related, such as his flashback to transforming Emmie and her sister into gods or his memories of Herophile’s past. Still, he’s traumatized by his flashbacks of Commodus in ways that he isn’t for other flashbacks.

When Calypso asks Apollo about combat ostriches, he’s thrown into a flashback of the last time he saw Commodus before he became emperor. He’s distraught after the vision ends:

Then he left the tent - walking, as the Romans would say, into the mouth of the wolf.

“Apollo,” Calypso nudged my arm.

“Don’t go!” I pleaded. Then my past life burned away. (TDP 124)

The vision’s ended at this point, since he’s aware of Calypso again, but mentally, he’s still there, pleading for Commodus to come back - because he knows what will happen to him. But what’s done is done, and no amount of pleading will change the past.

He has a much worse flashback later on, when he remembers murdering Commodus.

Her words struck me in the gut like one of Artemis’s blunted arrows (and I can assure you, those hurt.)

We can take him.

The name of my old friend, shouted over and over.

I staggered to my feet, gagging, my tongue trying to dislodge itself from my throat.

“Whoa, Apollo.” Leo rushed to my side. “You okay?”

“I-” another dry retch. I staggered toward the nearest bathroom as a vision engulfed me... bringing me back to the day I committed murder.

[...]

But as I stumbled to the bathroom, ready to vomit into a toilet I had cleaned just yesterday, dreadful memories consumed me. I found myself in ancient Rome on a cold winter day when I truly did commit a terrible act. (176-177)

Other times Apollo’s had flashbacks, he’s collapsed, but he hasn’t felt this much distress. Needing to strangle Commodus affected him BADLY, as he accounts at the end of the flashback:

Britomartis was wrong. I didn’t fear water. I simply couldn’t look at the surface of any pool without imagining Commodus’s face, stung with betrayal, staring up at me.

The vision faded. My stomach heaved. I found myself hunched over a different water basin - a toilet in the Waystation.

I’m not sure how long I knelt there, shivering, retching, wishing I could get rid of my hideous mortal frame as easily as I lost my stomach contents. (TDP 182)

Honestly, this flashback really comes across as being at least influenced by PTSD, considering his highly negative physical reaction to it, which fulfills the “re-experiencing” criteria.

As for avoidance: well, he tries to avoid still pools of water in order to avoid memories of the murder (kinda sucks how commonplace Apollo’s triggers are).

For arousal and reactivity: Apollo just doesn’t have these symptoms as much. Immediately after being reminded he’s slightly snappish, but I don’t think it’s enough to really qualify.

And finally, for cognition and mood symptoms: well he definitely has some feelings of guilt over this, though guilt over the murder itself isn’t all that distorted since, you know, he DID murder him. But he also feels guilt over the events that led up to Commodus going off the deep end, which aren’t really his fault:

I sobbed and hugged the commode - the only thing in the universe that wasn’t spinning. Was there anyone I hadn’t betrayed and disappointed? Any relationship I hadn’t destroyed? (TDP 183)

Negative feelings about oneself: check. Distorted sense of guilt or blame: considering that Apollo didn’t really have a choice in this, him either killing Commodus, or letting someone else do it after he destroyed Rome some more, I’m gonna say check.

So yeah, at this point Apollo doesn’t really have any faith in himself to even HAVE relationships, though he at least seems to feel a little better after a visit with Jo.

Not all of Apollo’s trauma is related to his dead lovers, though. Who can forget the first source of his trauma, Python!

Python: So the trauma with Python is more hinted at, than fully explored. I have a feeling we’ll see it more in subsequent books, as Apollo gets closer to taking him down again. At least this trauma doesn’t fill Apollo with guilt, so, small mercy there. Also, his memory loss is actually kinda nice here, since the memory of fighting Python is blurred. Python TERRIFIES Apollo, especially in his vulnerable mortal state. He had nightmares of Python for centuries afterwards, and he has a phobia of scaly reptiles, to the extent that he only barely tolerates Hermes’ Caduceus’ snakes. He hasn’t really had flashbacks to the fight that much, though he DOES remember being trapped in Python’s coils when Meg is ALSO caught in a serpent’s coils:

I knew the strength of such a serpent. I remembered being wrapped in Python’s coils, my divine ribs cracking, my godly ichor being squeezed into my head and threatening to spurt out my ears. (TDP 201)

So I guess that MIGHT count as a flashback? Overall though, his trauma with Python seems to mostly just be “that was a nightmarish and scary fight”, but he won and it doesn’t really seem as emotionally taxing as the other things I’ve listed. At least this one doesn’t cause him any cognitive or mood symptoms.

Lastly, I want to talk about something I’ve left OFF the list: Zeus’s lightning. As much as it would make sense for him to have PTSD over being zapped by it, he doesn’t really show signs of it. He acknowledges being hit by the bolts and says he hates it, but the most obvious trigger, lightning, doesn’t actually seem to freak him out.

Still... something was strange about his use of lightning. I could always recognize the power of Zeus in action. I’d been zapped by his bolts often enough. Jamie’s electricity was different - a more humid scent of ozone, a darker red hue to the flashes. (TDP 361-362)

He certainly notes the similarities to Zeus’s lightning, but he doesn’t seem to have any flashbacks or be scared of it. And in TBM, he doesn’t seem especially freaked out by Jason’s use of lightning, even though it WOULD feel the same.

Before he could recover and decapitate her, Jason got overexcited.

I say that because of the lightning. The sky outside flashed, the curved wall of glass shattered, and tendrils of electricity wrapped around Timbre, frying him into an ash pile.

Effective, yes, but not the sort of stealth we’d been hoping for. (TBM 251-252)

Apollo just isn’t all that much more freaked out by lightning than he should be. I’m not ENTIRELY sure why that is - though I do have some speculation - but regardless, he doesn’t seem to have PTSD from this in particular, at least.

Apollo has a crapton of PTSD, and with TBM’s events, I’m betting it’ll get worse before it gets better. He does a pretty good job of functioning though, even WITH PTSD, and doesn’t tend to take it out on others (not that he can at the moment). I feel bad for Apollo, and hope that he can come to peace with some of these issues - at least somewhat - by the end of the series.

PTSD isn’t the ONLY issue Apollo has - not by a long shot - but that’s an analysis for another time.

#trials of apollo #lester papadopoulos #apollo #PTSD #my analysis post #THO #TDP #TBM

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celticmess · 6 years ago

Text

Dystopian Descendants City Au or smth idk they’re taken from their hosts and trapped in a city

Starring:

Antisepticeye

Darkiishu

Dorkiplier Darkiplier

Peevils

Infelix

Madzia

Including:

Sanders Sides

JSE Egos

Iplier Egos

Madpat

Blankgameplays (Corrupted Crank, Ethan’s one)

Apocalypse (Tyler’s one)

Now for the details!

Location

they’re held in a small, secluded + abandoned city by humans

they’re given free rein within the city

egos like Dark + Anti call other egos that they share a host with “siblings”

there’s no government

no law

the place is run by violence

everyone is short on temper for different reasons

all of the egos and their host were taken by special services

no one knows where they are now

two rules: do not attempt to escape + no killing

once a month the humans gather them in the city centre and one figment is taken

for now they’ve only taken a few minor figments + characters (Paultin, Pluck, Heathen + the Author)

no one knows where they go

or why

but they don’t come back.

Anti

like our Anti, but edgier.

hangs around with Darkiishu, Dark, Peevils, Infelix + Madzia

fights with Dark regularly

basically daily

and it never surprises anyone at this point

he’s from a large ego group (they call each other siblings)

he’s the oldest ego but they alienate him the most

he terrifies his “siblings” when he’s angry and/or drunk

usually stays out of the house messing about with his group

by messing about I mean tearing up the area

he comes home when his “siblings” are asleep and leaves before they wake up

whenever he’s home before they go to sleep, they end up being really hostile

never physically, but it’s implied

they know they can’t beat him in a fight

everyone can tell when to stop pushing his temper

his glitches get more uncontrollable as his heart rate heightens

you can hear him before you see him, the sound of static follows him everywhere

Darkiishu

has everyone on strings

you need something? You have 2-3 choices depending on what you need: Darkiishu, Phantom + Darkiplier

only hangs out with Anti, Dark + Infelix because they work as bodyguards without knowing it

bc as if you’re gonna attack a lady who hangs with the power trio

only likes two people: Peevils + Madzia

and she even ends up arguing with the sometimes

they’re usually able to talk it out tho

unlike Dark + Anti who’ll beat the shit out of each other anywhere anytime

can never be in photos bc her ability blurs them

the blurriness of he photo changes with her mood

if she’s happy, it’s not too bad, but photograph her pissed and it’s a blurry mess

she stays in a random old broken apartment she fixed up herself

sometimes Anti crashes on her sofa

she’s always the one who hosts Ladies Nights on Saturdays

she controls illusions

Do̴rk͢ip͜l̶ier Darkiplier

a lot more reckless than our Dark

wears a lot of hoodies

he has a ornate little silver bracelet to keep his powers in check

the googles made it for him

he probably turns it into the top of his cane later on

his hobby is pissing off Anti

starts the fights on purpose

sometimes to vent, sometimes for entertainment

either way, Anti is happy to fight

he’s the third oldest out of his ego group

the host and Wilford are older than him. There was the Author...

he argues with Wilford a lot and Host too when he comes out of his library

he scares the younger ones (Bim, Ed, Silver, King, etc.)

he also doesn’t control his aura very well (hence why he has the bracelet)

so his shell cracks a lot more frequently than it does in our universe

Peevils

lives with Darkiishu most of the time

can manipulate reflections

if you’ve pissed her off avoid any and all reflective surfaces

she can and will summon your reflection from said surface and have it murder you brutally

she’s very close with Darkiishu

if you mess with one you mess with both

and both are scary

she could not care less about Dark, Anti or Infelix even if she tries

has nearly gotten into a fight with Anti on many occasions

will most likely leave the apartment if Anti is crashing for the night

her and Anti avoid each other as much as possible

is dangerously close to strangling Infelix with his own reflection

Infelix

lives with Madzia in an isolated apartment in a place no one knows about

none of the others have ever been there

he has eyes everywhere

quite literally

can create semi-sentient ink monsters

he’s the most powerful entity

and everyone knows it

even if he doesn’t fight

the other figments and entities can fight over a subject

but Infelix says something about it? that thing is always considered

low-key cares about the people he hangs out with

he pretends he doesn’t tho

he finds Anti + Dark’s fights highly entertaining

makes it his mission to try and start a fight between Anti and Peevils

Madzia

the sclera of her eyes are a faint pastel colour (she can change whenever she wants)

when she uses her powers, her whole eye goes the colour of her sclera

she’s part siren

so she can charm anyone except sirens

she doesn’t need to sing

she lives with Infelix

they get along really well

she enjoys her Ladies Night with Peevils and Darkiishu on Saturdays tho

she gets really fed up with the fights

she herself is actually pretty docile

doesn’t mean she’s harmless though

her, Peevils and Darkiishu are always there for each other

they all love each other’s company

they’re so close because they’re basically the only females

Sanders Sides

by far the most harmless figments

Logan spends a lot of time with Dr. Iplier and Dr. Schneeplestein in the makeshift infirmary

he makes a lot of the cures with what they have

if it weren’t for these three, the no killing rule would’ve been broken ten billion times

Patton runs a safehouse for the smaller, peaceful egos (King, Bim, Silver, Ed, Robbie as well as Heathen and Pluck occasionally) and was one of the most emotional when Heathen and Pluck got taken

Sometimes Virgil hangs out with Patton’s group, sometimes he joins Darkiishu, Peevils + Madzia for Ladies Night

his best friend was Heathen

losing Heathen hit him really hard

now he hangs out with Robbie, JJ and sometimes Marvin when he’s not running around with JB and Roman

Roman loves playing hero with JB and sometimes Marvin

occasionally Silver will join in

the group break up fights before the no kill rule gets broken

Deceit doesn’t “hang out” with anyone

but he’s a good source of information

his top clients are Dark, Peevils and Phantom

NWTB Egos

there’s a lack of entertainment in the city

so Mare performs in the city centre regularly

sometimes he’ll have Anti drum for him

it usually attracts a crowd

there isn’t really anything in the city to do except fight

so most of the population turns up

he’s also had a fair share of fights

Sharper is the one who fixed up the place that the battle egos stay in

so the place is full of tools and random machines

he always patches up Mare and Phantom when they get into fights

he doesn’t trust them not to kill the doctors

Phantom isn’t home very often

usually when he comes home it’s because he’s hurt

the rest of the time he’s in his office

he won the place in a bet

and traded info for interior decoration

it doubles as a bar and it’s pretty popular because it is the only bar

Mare and Phantom were livid when Heathen was taken

fortunately Sharper built a saferoom when he fixed up the place

he had to lock them in for several days

JSE Egos

none of them trust Anti

JB goes into protective mode if Anti turns up while they’re awake

the only one who goes near him is Robbie and sometimes JJ

the others all tend to keep their distance

JB loves spending time with Roman when he’s not protecting his siblings

stopping fights make him feel like a real hero

it also boosts his confidence and every time he goes home he feels more prepared to defend against Anti

he’s convinced Anti is planning something and is determined to keep his siblings safe

on the rare occasion JB isn’t home when Anti is, Marvin steps up

he’s not as confident or as hostile as JB

or as powerful

but he’s just as protective

on the nights he knows Anti is staying with Darkiishu he joins Roman and JB

he loves those nights

JJ is very curious

him and Robbie are the only JSE Egos who have willingly and peacefully approached Anti

When JJ first walked up to Anti, it surprised Anti so much he dropped his croissant

a croissant he stole from Peevils

then he tried to scare him away

but JJ just smiled at him

they don’t interact often at all but JJ will always try and calm JB and Marvin down before they attack

Anti is always hella grateful but never gets a chance to show it

Robbie shocked Anti by straight up walking into his room and sitting down

he finds the static noise that follows Anti really comforting

and Robbie didn’t seem like a threat so Anti let him stay

Robbie always leaves to go back to his room before Anti wakes up

it stops the other egos from jumping to conclusions

Chase is hardly home

but when he is he’s usually a tad drunk after a night out drinking with Paultin, Pluck and occasionally Warfstache

when Paultin and Pluck got taken his mental health took a nose dive

he began to stay out longer

he got drunker

and it got out of hand and he became increasingly depressed

his brothers love him but it gets extremely tense whenever he comes home drunk

he usually starts a fight with Anti on purpose

the nights he comes home sober are the best in the eyes of the other egos

they’re fun and Anti stays away

and it takes Chase’s mind off Paultin, Pluck, Stacy and his kids

one time Chase and Anti both came home drunk

JB ended up fighting both of them to get them to stop while Marvin got the others out of there

they went to Patton and the other sides for safety

the fight lasted all night

the end result was an injured, unconscious Chase with an empty gun, a passed out Anti (sleep deprivation) and a seriously injured JB

Anti avoided them for weeks after

Chase stayed with them while he recovered

Dr. Shneeplestein was the one who saved JB and Chase Brody from dying of their wounds

when he’s not with his siblings, he’s with Dr. Iplier and Logan in the infirmary

the three of them get along incredibly well

but as much as he likes work, he also likes his family

he gets incredibly nervous around Anti

when it was just him and Anti, Anti took great pleasure in messing with the Doctor before he met his current friends

by “messing with” I mean bringing him to the brink of death but stopping at the last second

so Schneep is real wary of Anti

Iplier Egos

They’re more organised than other groups

King, Silver, Ed + Bim spend all their time with Patton in the safehouse that he built

When Dark isn’t home, he’s out on the streets tearing it up with Anti, Infelix, Darkiishu, Peevils + Madzia

he lives for thrill

it’s why he fights Anti

they both love it

the Googles run the place

the place being a several storey building

the second floor is the Google’s lab

sometimes they work with Madpat

Blue thinks he’s too unpredictable, Ollie think’s he’s scary, Green considers him a risk

Red gets along with him just fine

most of the time though the googles work alone

they’ve banned Anti from the building

Wilford is avoided by everyone

he’s unstable, volatile and unpredictable

Anti has tried to goad him into a fight but Dark stopped him

when Wilford’s bored he spends time with Chase

it surprises everyone

but it’s Wilford Warfstache, he always surprises

The Host used to stay on his library floor with the Author

he stopped coming out of the library after the Author was taken

Oliver tried to get him to come out but he gave up eventually

Lesser Known Egos

Madpat

he’s a crazed scientist

he hangs with Natemare a lot

The pair cause trouble but don’t really get into fights

he also enjoy dragging Google Red into his projects

Blank

Blank doesn’t have friends

he walks the streets aimlessly

just shivering

he’s cold to the touch

don’t test that fact

touch him and you slowly freeze from the outside in

Apocalypse

he’s a brute

he’s big, strong and scary

he’s also the subject of many fights

him and JB always end up in a fight

they don’t get along

he starts most of the fights on the streets

The rest of the population are egos that we don’t even know exist yet.

#jacksepticeye #markiplier #natewantstobattle #Thomas sanders #sanders sides #antisepticeye #darkiplier #natemare #virgil sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #nwtb phantom #nwtb sharper #markiplier egos

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thistlecrimes · 7 years ago

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Hannah watches “The Penalty” (1920)

How do i begin to talk about this movie and how relevant it is to my interests.

Okay, so basically it’s about a guy who gets mangled in a car accident/botched surgery as a child and then grows up to be a bitter, sassy crime lord with a proclivity for art and playing the piano. Oh and also an obsessive desire to revenge himself upon the surgeon who unnecessarily amputated both his legs above the knee. And he’s played by Lon Chaney.

So this FBI agent, Rose, gets sent in to stop his evil schemes and tries a couple times but she falls in love with him because he’s got a tragic back story and plays music real good. And he catches her betraying him and is like “I should kill you but you operate the pedals on the piano for me really well so I guess you can stay.” But that’s like just the beginning. Also look how cool his house is:

So the surgeon who fucked up Lon Chaney’s legs when he was a kid, he has an adult daughter, Barbara. And her surgeon dad and her shitty fiance who’s her surgeon dad’s assistant are all like “Barbara, when are you gonna give up on art and submit to the patriarchy like a good 1920s lady?” and Barbara’s like “NOT UNTIL I SCULPT THE DEVIL HIMSELF, FOOLS” so she literally puts out an add in the paper like “hey, do u look like the devil? come to my apartment.” and of course Lon fucking Chaney sees this shit and he’s like. “IT ME”

This is the moment of dramatic irony he’s been waiting for. I guess she must have put her name in the ad because he knows she’s the surgeon’s daughter. So he zips the fuck over there and like has his thugs make sure nobody else has a chance to model for this girl and at first she’s kinda like “eurgh” but then she’s like “well u do like a lot like the devil tho” and there’s this dumb street urchin kid she hangs out with named Bubbles or some shit - wait i looked it up it actually is bubbles wtf - anyway this kid’s like “hell naw man I know this guy he’s real fucked up” but Barbara is like “BUT THINK OF HOW DOPE MY SCULPTURE WILL BE THO” and so she starts sculpting the shit out of this sick-ass bust of Lon Chaney with sexy devil hair. And Lon Chaney’s like chatting her up, he comes in every week, talks to her about art theory and how his own father hated him after he got his legs chopped off. and shit’s going pretty well but her dumbass fiance keeps showing up and being all suspicious. Which i guess is fair because Lon Chaney is an asshole in this movie but this guy seems to hate him just because of the legs thing. What a prick.

So anyway, Lon Chaney falls in love with this girl and he decides to make his move, even though his original plan was just to fuck up her dad and her life and stuff but she seems cool and she listens to him talk about how smart and tortured he is and shit. And I mean, she did seem pretty cool up until this point. But then he’s like “Hey so I love you” and she just laughs in his face and he fucking loses it and tries to lunge at her presumably to strangle her but then regains his composure and apologizes because he’s decided to go back to the original plan of fucking everybody up so he needs to seem cool. And she’s like “Yeah okay sorry I laughed I guess I was just surprised” and he’s like “Yeah maybe don’t laugh at amputees okay cool cool cool. I’m going to leave now.” and then the shitty fiance shows up and he’s like “fuck you get out ur worse than me because i have legs” and Lon Chaney’s like:

So Lon Chaney leaves but then like watches through the door as the fiance is like “Art is dumb you want to be a wife and have a family and that disabled guy made you forget that with his degenerate corrupting influence” and she’s like “Yeah you’re right art is dumb and I will marry you” and I’m like “NAW MAN FUCK NO” but it’s the 1920s so what did I expect.

I wanted her to be a strong single art lady because all the men in this movie are terrible (I mean, Lon is a sympathetic villain but still terrible. He like, hits a lady who works in his factory, it’s not cool.) but again. 1920s, male director, etc. etc. Meanwhile FBI lady has sort of taken a backseat in the plot, while Lon’s off two-timing her, the shite. Anyway. So basically Lon Chaney’s all like “okay so how about we take the fiance guy. And just. Put his legs. Where. My legs. Would be.” and his crime underling confidante guy is like “dude no that’s not how anything works what the fuck are you talking about?” and Lon Chaney’s like “CRAZY LIKE A FOX!”

So he calls up the stupid fiance and is like “yo i stole your girlfriend come over 2 my place let’s rap” but it was a lie! a cunning ruse! a trap! So anyway the boyfriend comes over and Lon’s like “Ur legs for ur girlfriend y/y?” and the guys like thinking about it but Lon just straight up trap doors that sucker right into his fully equipped basement operating room that he has built in to his fucking house jesus christ. Then he calls up the doctor and does basically the same thing, “hey i stole your friends better come perform surgery on me” and the doctor agrees to operate on him, but then guess what there’s a twist ending nobody saw coming and the fbi lady comes back and anyway just watch the fucking movie it’s ridiculous and Lon Chaney’s facial expressions are gr8. Any given moment he’s onscreen is a perfect reaction gif. Look at this:

But in all seriousness I know that by having a character with a disfigurement/disability as the villain it falls into a shitty, tired trope, but the movie also makes that character the most magnetic, interesting, dynamic character in the story. It’s a product of its time obviously, but it gets into some really interesting concepts, even if the way it handles them is flawed. It’s an incredibly engaging movie, which is why I’m writing a shit post about it at 1am instead of sleeping. Check it out. You can get it with a nice orchestral soundtrack through a free trial of Shudder on amazon prime and then just cancel that shit when ur done.

#silent film #lon chaney #the penalty #poto #1920s #film review

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idealisticrealism · 8 years ago

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Blindspot recap 2x16

(Aka the one where Cade is the source and Patterson’s tooth is the mole)

Happy Blindspot day! Here’s a rather late recap, as is kinda typical for me at the moment (nightshifts take up a lot of energy haha). But anyway, have a look below the cut for a lot of rambling about how much I love Jeller and how much I want to hug Patterson haha

Oh yeah, Nas is being strangled. Forgot about that. But oooh I love the car-seat trick and then like flipping herself over into the backseat??That was kinda badass. I'm always approving of seeing ladies beat the crap out of bad guys. But anyway he's dead now (nice work Nas, I’m sure Weller didn’t want to interrogate him or anything) and anyway she's got the info-- which if there's really info about Sandstorm on that USB, then clearly he wasn't the one that put it there (bc he would have just used a decoy) meaning that if it’s legit then her source and this killer are not connected. Which lbr we already know they aren’t.

But nvm about all that bc this scene is far more important. The team are all hanging at Weller's and laughing and toasting and drinking and ughhhh remember early last season when Zapata and Reade had never even been in his apartment?? And now they're all hanging out?? Being besties?? And omg Patterson is such a cutie, insisting they toast every time (maybe I’m going to make a variation on that rule and always toast to Patterson herself before I do a shot haha) and they all indulge her and ughhhh my babies. And then Jane is there, walking straight in without knocking bc lbr this apartment is always open to her. Do I dare even consider the fact that she has a key, ‘in case of emergencies’??? But anyhow clearly Weller had invited her (because of course he did, he probably suggested the group drinks in the first place just to have an excuse to invite her over), and she probably had wanted to come so much but had already agreed to plans with Oliver and felt she couldn't cancel on him... especially not when she would be doing so to go spend time with the guy she’s actually in love with. That would probably be a kinda unfair thing to do to your date. But lbr when he bailed n their dinner she probably wasn't even that upset bc she was now free to go be with her family instead ughh. Also it's weird to think that this is all taking place immediately after last ep? Like only hours after the team all split into pairs to hunt down the smuggler. I mean Zapata's looking good for someone who got shot in the back of her vest, and Weller seems to have recovered well from being tased haha. But anyway they're all like ‘yaayy Jane's here’ which is so cute lol, and Zapata's like 'wait what about that thing you had on' (ugh look at this supportive lady-friend being all discreet haha) and Weller looks up with that 'I-really-wanna-hear-this-but-also-really-don't' expression bc I'm sure that even if Jane hadn't told him she had a date when he invited her to the drinks, he would have known it anyway bc she would have been all flustered and awkward and also clearly bummed about missing out on being with the team and ugh I bet Weller is fighting off a grin rn to know that she's here with him-- er, I mean with them-- and not with some guy and aww Patterson immediately involves her in the toasting thing and ugh look at my babies all being so happyyyyyy. And then Zapata immediately finds a excuse to whisk both of them off into the kitchen so they can have a ~girl talk~ (omg her "boys. so sensitive." comment lol. I feel you there girl.) and ugh I am SO HERE for this bonding and supportiveness and lol considering Weller got up and headed somewhere right the same time that they did, I'm totally picturing him hiding around the corner sneakily trying to listen in haha. Whereas meanwhile Reade and Patterson are left awkwardly at the table and she reaches out so earnestly, telling him she's worried about him, and he just walks off. Excuse me, I will not tolerate this rudeness towards my baby. Go back and apologise. And then omg Jane has snuck into the nursery (love the mobile with Aussie animals on it, like it’s a nod to my country for producing Sully haha) but anyway ugh I love the way that Jane looks around the room; it's not a wistful "I wish this was mine to share with him", though I'm sure that there's definitely a bit of that buried down deep. Mostly though she just looks at it all with such tenderness and pride, because she can see what a good and loving father Weller is going to be and it makes her love him all the more. And then oops Weller busts her (lbr he'd been fully aware of exactly where she was every moment since she stepped into the apartment, and was just waiting for his chance to spend some time alone with her) and she's adorably embarrassed and guilty about snooping but he doesn't mind at all bc lbr Jane has 100% free access to anything in his life bc he loooooves herrr, and then ugh Allie gets mentioned and Jane tries to suss out what the situation will be after the baby is born bc lbr she's secretly picturing her and Weller’s future life together, whether she realises it or not. And then she apologises for overstepping and takes the question back, just like he did when he asked her about Oliver, and ugh I love that these two are doing this little dance and wanting to be closer and know all these things about each other but they're afraid that the other doesn't want to share that connection so they apologise and try to step back again, but the other one always reassures them it's alright and then opens up a little more and ughhhhh these two are so clearly inchinggggg their way back toward each other again and ugh this is such a honest and vulnerable moment that could have easily led to something even deeper but of course by the very nature of the Jeller moment, it means that they have to be interrupted-- and so right on time there's a text from Nas (since she couldn't barge in in person, she had to make do) and ugh we’re all sitting here like 'okay you nearly died? cool well you would still have been not-dead in five minutes, how about next time you be more considerate and give everyone some time to themselves before demanding all the damn attention’. Sigh.

And so now the team is all back at the FBI and I'm curious as to how they got there, bc I'm certain that all of them except Jane would have been too intoxicated to drive. Like seriously tho did they all pile together into her car?? Who got to ride shotgun?? Weller, since he's the bigest and also the boss? And also so he and Jane could throw loaded looks at each other while she drove? Or what if Weller was feeling gentlemanly and let Patterson sit up front so she wouldn't be squished, and instead Zapata was the one sandwiched between Weller and Reade, poking her elbow into Reade's side lol? I really hope they did all drive together, I mean it’s just a far more entertaining thought than FBI people picking them up. Though it'd be kinda funny if they took cabs or ubers instead, like 'hey we're a bunch of FBI agents take us to our headquarrters stat'. But anyhow, I'm getting distracted. The team arrives in the lab, Weller checks in on Nas just long enough to get the USB with the info. The team tosses ideas back and forth about who the source is and if he had anything to do with the attack, then Weller sets Patterson to cracking the USB which will take all night. Ugh, my poor baby works so hard. Though lbr it's not like Weller is gonna go home and to bed either; he’ll probably spend all night working in his office so he’s readily available if she needs him. And then lol now Patterson's busy with her computer and Reade & Zapata have apparently decided they have some place else to be, so when Weller walks away, Jane can go after him alone, touching his arm (yaaaasssss Unnecessary and Lingery Touuuuchhhhh) and asking him if he's okay and ugh he's so upset and Jane just steadies him like no one else can and promises that they'll get Shepherd and then she touches his arm again (oh lord help me) before going to help Patterson and ughhhhh I love Supportive Wifey Jane and ugh I know I've said it before but I'm just so glad these two are partners again ughhh

Naw Reade and Zapata have just had another one of their joint gym sessions which I think is adorable. And lol he's talking about a woman he thinks is kinda cute (lbr tho man you're not exactly being picky these days) and she grimaces at him, which is basically a pretty good reflection of how I feel about Reade and his proclivities atm lol. And then oh hello random drug screen lady! That was a funny moment with "it's your lucky day"/"we finally have hot water in the showers?"/"we have soft serve in the commissary??" lol you sassy buggers. But more importantly than all that is the horror on Reade's face when she tells them they're going to be screened today-- yep, this is called karma, bro. You were mean to my baby Patterson and now the universe is punishing you. Also I love Zapata's “Couldn't you have given us a heads-up on this” and the lady's snarky reply. I like her already. And I like that she didn't take any of Reade's crappy excuses about not feeling well. It’s time to face the music, sucker.

Awwww Jane sitting on the floor with Roman and trying to get him to eat and worrying about him sleeping on the hard floor and ugh he asks her about her night and about Oliver and then ughhhh "I don't have much, but what little I do have I owe to you". That is such a true statement, and it kinda encompasses the good and bad? Like yeah he's in a cell and has no memories and that's because of her but he's also alive and being cared for and free of Sandstorm and that's all because of her too. Ugh their situation is such a complicated and interesting one but I really wish she would be honest with him about the zipping. He's been a little more settled lately, no huge outbursts in a couple of days, so maybe it's approaching the right time to start telling him the truth?? Please???

Back in the lab, Nas has emerged from the med bay, and so Patterson shows her and Weller the photos that she got off the USB-- pictures of Shepherd and Sandstorm peeps from the day before. And then the source calls and tells them where to bring him money before he gives them any more info on Shepherd's location. And yes this is all very important but rn I'm actually much more interested in Weller's loose necktie situation bc damn I'm digging it. Also I wanna know what happened last night? Like did he go home? Did the others go home? Was there any point in them sticking around anyway if only Patterson could run the decrypting program? If he did go home, did he sleep at all? I need to know these things. But anyhow Jane catches up to him in the corridor, and she opposes his plan to stake out the meet site beforehand, worried that they'll spook the source and lose their chance at a lead. And lbr she's kinda like his inner voice, here? He's having to do things a certain way bc he's the boss and he's supposed to do things by the book and prevent risk to his agents, but all the arguments she's making are exactly what he feels himself, yet he has to ignore them. Ugh I love the fact that even when they appear to be at odds, they’re still in tune?? #soulmaaaates

Oooooh Zapata's questioning Reade about his weird behaviour and lol she teases him about handling his hard liquor like a preteen (tho I would hope that preteens aren't drinking hard liquor lol) and then jokingly prods him about if he’s really worried he's going to fail, and then he's all 'well, yeah' and she's like wait what. Then he gets called up and walks out like a guy going to his execution and seriously son you would never be in this situation if you hadn't made such terrible life choices lately

Meanwhile the rest of the team is actually working, trying to hover around inconspicuously as Nas goes to the drop point. Which is kinda ridiculous tbh bc literally the source would recognise both Jane and Weller instantly so I feel that this is not a terrific plan. Then he calls and tells Nas to go to a nearby hospital and gives her directions on dropping the bag into a laundry cart before leaving. Then some guy collects the cart and puts the bag in the laundry chute-- so Weller accosts him and shoves him into a wall. Ah, my cranky son. (Tho lbr I quite enjoy watching Weller manhandle people. I would not mind watching him shove Jane into a wall in a much gentler and more romantic fashion haha). Anyway turns out the guy was just paid to do it, and they realise that the source is down in the laundry room at the base of the chute, and Weller is all like 'quick, to the stairs!' and Jane's like 'nah son I got this' and legit jumps down the chute, slowing her fall on the walls and doing a kickass roll when she gets to the bottom. Dude. Life. Goals. And then she immediately pursues the source, only for him to circle behind her and put his gun to her head-- and the moment he speaks she realises it's Cade. Okay so Cade has been the source all along? Or maybe both he and Markos? Or maybe he, Markos AND Remi? But then anyway in another incredibly badass move, she dodges to the side of the gun and disarms him and throws him over her shoulder and ugh I am so down with this fight bc while Jane is definitely going to be the more skilled, she is probably the person who taught him to fight well in the first place?? Student vs master. And them bam she has the gun on him and tells him that they're on the same side and that she killed Oscar and ooooooohhhhhh I bet he didn't see that coming. And then suddenly Weller is there, impressively not out of breath considering the fact that he probably just sprinted down like five flights of stairs to get here and protect his wifey. And Nas is there too, and says 'Cade! in surprise and recognition(??), and I guess she knows what he looks like from a sketch of Jane's or something? Still, it's weird how quick she was. And then he reveals he's the source and everyone is like whaaaaaaa lol

Oooh Reade's in trouuuuble. With Zapata, that is. And he insists he was just blowing off some steam and she shuts him down, making it clear that what he's doing is waaaay more serious than that, and insisting that he tell Weller. And awww she says that they're all family, but Reade blows her off. So he really doesn't believe that the team is family to him? That's sad. And wrong. And then he even questions Patterson about tipping off the drug test people and I'm literally offended on her behalf. She's being cool about it ("agents can't call for random drug tests. They're random.") but I bet his suspicion hurt. And then Jane joins them and I feel like she picks up on the vibe, but they all focus instead on Weller, Nas and Zapata as they go in to interrogate Cade. Why three of them? Why is Zapata there? I mean she’s great and I'm always happy to see her being badass, but I'm just a little confused. And anyway Cade is being a smartass about 'where it all started' (aka the big bang) and the ladies are basically like shut up and get to the point lol. So we hear his backstory about why he joined Sandstorm (dad died in a mining accident and lawyers robbed the family of compensation etc. Because apparently the only response to tragedy and injustice is terrorism) and then he tells them that he left Sandstorm when he realised that Shepherd was only fighting for herself, not his cause. While listening, Jane has a flashback to Roman talking to Cade about all the people that are going to die in phase 2, and Remi shuts down the conversation. It definitely seems like the memories we see these days often have Remi seeming like much more of a jerk then she used to (not that she was ever a ray of sunshine before tho tbh). Idk it might just be a product of what's triggering the memories. Anyway Cade explains that he stayed with Sandstorm so he could do more damage from the inside, and Weller gets pissed at him about trying to kill them (or really, trying to kill Jane, which is the part that actually upsets him). And Cade says he did it both to try to stop the plan-- bc back then Jane was much more central to it, right?-- and also as revenge for Oscar killing someone he loved. I'm so intrigued by the way he talks about Markos-- "Markos made me whole" sounds like much more of an intimate connection than family/brothers-in-arms. Whether they were involved that way or not, I'm definitely headcanoning that Cade was in love with Markos.

Aaaand so Weller is not happy with Cade’s demands for money and immunity. He storms into his office (does he really ever enter his office any other way?) and I love that Jane is confident in her right to be there but still hangs back a little, giving Nas a chance to make her case first, pretty much bc she knows it won’t work haha. Only Jane can get through to him when he’s like this. And ugh one of Weller's main arguments against Cade going free is that he tried to kill Jane. Lbr that’s totally an unforgivable crime in Weller's opinion. And ugh again I’m so glad about this whole moment-- like if this was happening in the early eps of this season, even if Weller would have admitted his anger over Cade trying to kill Jane at all, Jane certainly wouldn’t have been there to hear it and know that he felt that way. But now she is, and even if she tells herself that he's really just making excuses not to work with one of Sandstorm’s members, a little part of her would cling to his protectiveness of her and revel in it. But anyhow I love that she puts a hand on Nas' shoulder and is all like 'good try, but dw, I got this.' And she follows him and locks eyes with him and tells him that they have to put their baggage with Cade aside, like Weller did with her, and he's all "that was different" and ugh she reminds him about telling Zapata he didn’t even want to be in the same room as her and ugh it hurts me that that memory comes to her so easily. How much it must have hurt her to hear that, and how much Weller must regret it now and want to take it all back and tell her he never really meant it and he actually loved her all along and ughhhhhhh. And ugh he drops his gaze from hers and you already know that he'll let Cade go. He'll do anything for her. Lbr a lot of the time Jane is the most powerful person on this team bc of the sway she has over Weller, but it’s a power she would never abuse. Plus, she would do literally anything for Weller in return, and close to anything for every single member of the team. Ugh, my loyal baby.

Anyway so Cade gets his deal and tells the whole team about Shepherd meeting with a smuggler person, possibly to be smuggled somewhere herself. So they send out a team to lie in wait for ehr, but just as they're ready tog et into position, they see smoke coming from the building, and race in only to find that the guy Shepherd was meeting is already dead and a bunch of his files are burned. So they think Cade sold them out and pre-warned Shepherd, leading to an angry confrontation and he's all 'uhhhhh I've been here the whole time? literally how could I have gotten any kind of message out" lol and then he tells them that maybe they have a mole, which pisses Weller off. Uh, Cade, you might want to be careful. People are a little sensitive about the ‘M’ word around here....

Ughhh Jane suggests that they use Cade to try to jog Roman's memories and Weller allows it bc she's his beloved wifey and he wants to make her happy ugh. And it's such an interesting dynamic with Cade and Roman. "I don't know whether to choke you or feed you soup. Or maybe both" lol. And then Jane is all sweet with Roman when he can't remember anything, and it must be strange for Cade to see how not-Remi she is?? Though he still throws a jab at her about wanting her brother in a cage, which sets off another memory for her about keeping Roman from talking to Cade. As a sidenote, I love Remi's flat, dead voice and how different it is from Jane's. But anyhow clearly the doses that these two were zipped with were very different, or Jane’s has been wearing off or something, bc she is definitely much more susceptible to triggers than he is. But ugh my fave part of this scene was probably when Cade says that mean comment to Jane and Weller just grabs him roughly by the arm and drags him outta there. No one’s mean to his wifey and gets away with it...

Zapata and Reade get their results back, which were thankfully negative (though part of me wishes his had been positive just so he had to face it and get help). Also I love that they have these very private conversations in the locker room-- like cmon guys someone could be literally right around the corner. But anyhow ugh Zapata is so serious and worried rn and she insists again that he tell Weller and get help (work-dad will fix it!), but Reade is refusing to seek help bc he’s kinda a butthead these days. And so Zapata-- while making it clear that she's doing it out of love-- tells him that she will tell Weller if he doesn't, and his reaction to that reminds me of a little kid: "but... but you're my best friend" *lip wobbles*. Uh yeah, dude, she is! That's why she will do whatever it takes to protect you, even if you hate her for it! Ugh. Poor Zapata, she should go talk it out with her BFF Jane. Meanwhile Weller locks Cade back up, and then being the sweet marshmallow he is, actually pauses and tells Cade that he's sorry about his father. Ugh, my big softy. He mentions that his uncle was a miner too, and Cade's all ‘yeah I know, Shepherd talked about you a lot’. Which is creepy but unsurprising, I guess?

Over in the lab, my baby Patterson is looking at files on Borden, which is upsetting. She gets another headache, then is looking at pictures of Shepherd when she suddenly puts it all together, realising what's been going on with her and why Sandstorm always seems to be ahead of them. Also lol at the lab tech who comes up to ask her something and she's all "not now" and they back away respectfully from their queen haha. But oh my poor baby, this must be a horrible feeling, to realise her own role in all of this. Weller would never blame you though honey!

And speaking of Weller, he's back in his office when Jane comes in all shy, and she's like 'um, weird question, but... are you my supervisor?' with literally THE CUTEST expression on her face, and tbh it's kinda funny to consider her as part of boring old workplace ladders bc she's just ~part of the family~ (or rather jst like an extension of Weller, lbr) and Weller is like 'uuuhhhhhhhh yeah I guess I am' which shows he never really thought about it either lol. And lbr, she kind of went from victim-->asset-->Weller's partner-->traitor-->prisoner-->asset-->Weller's partner, so she never really fit neatly into the whole boss/employee thing. But anyhow she shows him the requisition form that she needs him to sign, all the stuff she wants for Roman, admitting she can't stand to see him so unsettled. And Weller literally doesn't even hesitate before signing it, despite the fact that someone like Roman could very easily use those things to craft a weapon or escape tool or something. He just signs it bc not only does he trust Roman not to do that, and also cares about her and hates seeing her sad, but also he remembers feeling the same way when Jane was first brought to them. Which squeezes my heart bc he acted so aloof at the start but you just knew-- KNEW-- that underneath he really felt for her and wanted to help and comfort her. Which he soon did, though as professionally as he could (until the feelings won out over professionalism haha). But ughhh I bet it hits her hard when he says that about having the same feeling-- bc she LOVES Roman. That's why it hurts her to see him like that. So if Weller felt the same way about her, even back then....

But anyhow, of course this tender Jeller moment is just begging for an interruption, so in steps Patterson, showing them warnings on her ipad as she talks about having a bug in her servers that she needs to fix, and ugh every word she's saying is so clearly about herself and fixing the 'bug' in her before it corrupts the whole FBI 'server' and ugh she's holding herself together so well and Jane looks confused and then concerned and Weller just looks aggrieved and ughhhhhh I NEED there to have been a moment after she leaves (after writing on the ipad to tell them to gather the others and meet her in that metal cage thing that radio signals can't penetrate) where Jane just reaches out to Weller and comforts him bc lbr they're like the parents in this family and Patterson is daddy's little girl and ughhhhh how sad and angry and frustrated and horrified they must be all at once and ughhhh. I just feel like Weller needed a hug and Jane wanted to hug him but couldn't-- not it his glass-walled office, not with unresolved stuff still between them-- but she would have at the very least stepped close and had her hand on his arm and murmured comforting words and ughhh. But anyway the whole team is in the cage now, and Patterson tells them all about the bug she found in her tooth, which is seriously crazy small. It couldn’t possibly exist in the real world. But anyhow Jane, the protective mama, is like 'Let's go get it out right now' but Patterson, my brave baby, looks at Weller and suggests they use it to lure Sandstorm. Which is a very good idea, lbr. Which then leads to them all hanging out in Weller's office reading from scripts, and it's kinda hilarious to see actors playing people who are bad actors? Like their reading is so stilted but I guess it still sounds believable enough to Sandstorm, so that’s all that matters haha

So now Sandstorm is coming to the safehouse where Cade is being kept, to kill him before he can ‘trigger any more' of Roman's memories. Borden's the one making the calls since apparently Shepherd is out on a barge in the middle of the ocean for whatever reason (lbr who knows why Shepherd does literally anything except for ~Insanity~). I'm sure that will become clear eventually. So the trap is set; Reade and Patterson are in the safehouse with Cade, presumably settling him in, when he overpowers Patterson, steals her gun, and fake-shoots them both before making a run for it, forcing the Sandstorm guys to race after him. I appreciate seeing Borden getting tricked by the very people he tricked, and it all almost works too, except apparently he has superhuman eyesight and notices a floodlight up in a tree. All the others are surrounded, but he escapes off another way-- only to be caught by Patterson, who wounds him with a shot then chases him into a barn. Meanwhile the ringleader of all the others manages to shoot all three of the others before shooting himself, and come on, really? What if he'd fired at the FBI? Someone would have taken him down immediately. So why couldn't they have killed him after he fired the first shot, or even shot at one of the other guys in the leg to drop him and then kill the main guy before he could re-aim and kill them too? I guess we're gonna have to suspend our disbelief here and just roll with it, bc lbr how could our crackshot team (especially Jane) not be able to stop this from happening?

But anyhow. On to more important things, which is my baby chasing Borden into a barn all alone, despite Weller shouting orders not to. And ugh as she walks in you can see that like literally everything in this barn (propane tanks, paint thinner, etc) is flammable, and well this is surely a very bad sign. And then she demands that 'Nigel' turn himself in, and ugh he shoots towards her and nearly hits the tanks and the she corners him and yet again they're facing down from either side of a gun, and ughhh she's telling him that he's going to spend the rest of his life in a cell and he actually reassures her, telling her that it's okay that she wants to kill him and omg okay maybe he's just saying that bc he assumes that she does, but then again maybe he KNOWS? If Sandstorm has been able to hear everything she's said in the past couple of weeks, then they have heard all her sessions with Dr Sun, the ones that (as she admitted to Reade) usually end with her sobbing. How many times did Borden come into the control room and volunteer to take over a shift listening to their bug; how many times did he sit there and listen to her cry and rail about how he'd betrayed her and destroyed her?? Ughhh and while I don't feel sorry for him (okay, maybe the teeeensiest bit), I do believe that he DID care about her. It just wasn't enough. And then ughhhh she's yelling at him now for what he did to her and there's tears in her eyes and he tries to apologise and I appreciate that he's made no move to shoot at her (I don't believe he would anyway) bc I'd hate for her to have to kill him bc that would mean even more emotional trauma-- like Jane with Oscar. And then he holds up the grenade instead, ensuring he'll die but also giving her enough time to make a run for it, to survive. And ugh if I’d known from the start how this would go I definitely would not have started shipping them all those eps ago lol

Ugh, back in the bullpen poor bruised Patterson is staring at the photos of Borden and the other Sandstorm operatives and ugh my sweet Jane comes up to check on her and it's super clever how there's originally no sound other than the music, like Patterson is kind of separate from everything. She's holding a little radio scrambler like it’s a talisman and ugh I just feel so sad for her. It's going to be so long before she is comfortable again in her own skin, until she no longer feels betrayed and violated and ruined. And Jane says much the same, telling her how killing Oscar made her feel more betrayed and unsafe. Ugh she's so sweet and supportive and doesn't push when Patterson says she can't feel anything, just makes sure she knows that she's always there for her. Ugh. Jane would die for any member of this team in a heartbeat and it kills me. As does her sorrowful face as poor Patterson walks away. And then ugh my baby goes to the med bay to get the tooth out, which is very symbolic and (hopefully) cathartic, and ugh she's so angry and so far from her usual bubbly self and she refuses any anaesthetic for the pain and ughhhh this is just awful

I'm impressed that Nas actually lets Cade go with the money. Are we sure she didn't poison it somehow, or put a tracker in it, or...? But regardless, Cade refuses to stay and help, and Nas is sounding pretty doom and gloom about their chances of stopping Phase 2. But naw Weller believes in the team, and he's confident that they've weakened Shepherd-- after all, her right-hand man is now dead, and her two former proteges are now on Team FBI (aww, he considers Roman to be on their team). Also speaking of Roman, he's now lying on his bed with his soft sheets and a book and ughhhh I'm so happy to see him smile ugh my baby puppyyyy. I hope that he remembers these little signs of love when the truth about the zipping comes out...

Ooooh Reade deliberately left without talking to Weller, calling Zapata on her 'bluff'-- but ugh given the stunned and upset look on her face, it was no bluff. She knows she's going to have to go to Weller now, even if it costs her her best friend. And ugh she shows up at Weller's door, rather than just walking right into his office when she had the chance-- like she had to go home and mentally prepre herself/talk herself into it. And of course Weller lets her straight in and ugh he looks so concerned both for her and for Reade and ughhhhh he's such the Dad of this family ughhhh

Sigh Oliver texted Jane and she went right to him. I suppose it's sweet that he cooked this whole fancy meal as an apology... and then ugh she kisses him, probably to shut him up so she doesn't have to hear that accent anymore-- and tbh I'm actually glad when the guys show up to kidnap them before any items of clothing have come off. Now THIS is one scene that I don't mind seeing interrupted...!

#Blindspot #Blindspot recap #Jeller #we're getting closer to the Jeller every single week ugh

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