#he's been in that kind of content for decades. there's nothing special about translating him to film

[helicarrier]

I die a little inside every time someone says that Bruce Banner only works well in a comedic setting, and their only “evidence” of that is Ragnarok’s commercial success.

[vladdocs]

ENG Letter from the Voivode Vlad Draguli Tepes of March 14, 1457. *** By content: This letter finally clarifies the political situation between Wallachia and Transylvania, which became the cause of the conflict in 1457 and later. However, to understand the situation, it is worth reading first two other documents, the first, the agreement between the parties, the terms of assistance, the second, the document of the request for help from the voivode. This document follows in this chain the third, interesting from the point of view of the conflict. After the voivode did not receive an answer, according to the agreement, he goes to the lands where the applicants for the throne of Wallachia and their accomplices are hiding. According to the agreement, if you remember, the party on whose land the applicant and his people are hiding, preferably, betrays (meets the voivode as a friend) intruders, or does not interfere with their search. Probably, the governor did not meet any assistance in Transylvania, which is not surprising, given this attitude. Having crossed the Turnu-Rosu pass and arriving at the places where the aforementioned gentlemen were hiding, but faced with complete indifference, the voivode made an attempt to persuade Transylvania to reckon with itself. The result of this was the burned villages of Kasholts, Khosman and Nou Romyn near the very Sibiu. For decades, Transylvania, which had been shaking the nerves of the governors of Wallachia, was literally shocked by such an act, unprecedented in its kind, so that echoes of indignation reached us in the form of pamphlets, legends, stories, where from year to year, from decade to decade, the number of “innocents” increases, just like the number of "victims". In those stories, it comes to the point where the death toll during that period significantly exceeds even the number of all who lived at that time in one of the largest cities in Transylvania, Brasov. What exactly prompted the governor to take such a decisive, long-needed step? Was it the indirect participation of Transylvania in all the coups in Wallachia?, the murder of his family?, an attempt on his own murder?. It is unlikely that the voivode was so restrained and patient that, having come to power “without any help,” he concludes a strong peace with Transylvania and approaches it very responsibly. This letter is also very interesting, with a phrase that some historians even interpret as a threat: “If you don’t want even more, then immediately inform us so that we can rule and govern”. However, from the point of view of the choice of vocabulary, "quod nos regere et gubern {are p} ossemus" is completely neutral and, speaking figuratively in modern words, has the following content: the voivode, being a ruler, will be able to begin to regulate the current situation only when he finds out about the further political course of his neighbor, Transylvania, and does not want to be in the dark about that, therefore he asks to inform about his decision. There is nothing else in this phrase, "reign and govern", "herrschen und lenken", in any translation, that is, to be the ruler and therefore to control the situation. For all that, few people focus on the fact that they tried to kill the governor in Transylvania when he needed help. They also pay little attention to the fact that the voivode expresses, albeit tactfully within the framework of necessary diplomacy, about his attitude to the origin of the applicant: “his infringement on our right of the true (!) Heir”, “a monk from Wallachia who calls himself a son voivode ", the latter is twice specially indicated. Given these moments, I personally cannot understand why Vlad The Monk is definitely considered the illegitimate child of Dragul, when among his sons his father is not mentioned anywhere in the documents, not even once, and one of the sons frankly says that the Monk is an impostor. In my opinion, Vlad Monk is another Neagoe Bassarab, of which, as we remember, there were plenty of them. With only one commander Dragulya Tepes, duplicated Mirchi, Vlada and

forged documents suddenly appeared. Letter from the governor Vlad Draguli Tepes dated March 14, 1457. *** Noble, prudent and far-sighted men, advisers, fathers, brothers, our sincerely dear friends and neighbors, as you remember, and you should be well aware of that, there is a commitment between us, and vows backed by unshakable loyalty have been taken; and these obligations and vows must not be violated by anyone and never, while we are alive, at any time, which we personally specifically pointed out to you in a letter. From our side of evil, we did not do you and did not intend to start that. But today a rumor has reached us and we have learned about all that, that at a secret council you were with the people of a monk from Wallachia, who calls himself the son of a governor *, settled their affairs; Moreover, Peter Gereb * from Virishmort, and Peterman *, the son of the noble Peterman, who were neighboring with you, took part in this. You were personally promised to transfer all the fees to you in Rukar and Brail for a long time, promising that Wallachia's income. * Remember the time when I wandered and arrived in your lands *, you then did not let me into your council, but instead, out of loyalty to the noble lord, the governor of these lands, Vladislav entrusted the noble men John Gereb from Wingard and Nicholas from Salzburg to capture us in the city of Joaju and to end us. But by the will of God, we ourselves were able to return our lands without any help *, but with you, we made a strong peace and thus made your enemies ours. Today we fully understand that you support a monk from Wallachia, who calls himself the son of a governor, and his people in an encroachment on our right to be a true heir, and we also understand what bad consequences for us everything can lead, since you are already Advice with him, and he, having made his way to Amlash, remained there, and is there to this day by your own will. Therefore, with this letter we ask each and every one of you that in the name of the God and according to the commandments of the Catholic faith, as well as for the sake of maintaining fraternal peace and friendship between us, after reading our letter, you will certainly write to us or report back, whether you wish further observe the order established by us and you in writing and be loyal to it. If you do not wish that more, then immediately inform us, so that we can rule and govern. Given in Targoviste on the second day after the feast of Blessed Pope Gregory, in the year 1457. Vlad, Commander of the Transalpine lands, your faithful brother, son and friend in everything. Comments: * Identity of Vlad the monk is speculative only. * Peter Gereb * from Virishmort was a judge and head of Sibiu in 1467, later he was executed in the city square because of his participation in the uprising against Corwin considered bloodthirsty). Peterman was a wealthy Sibiu merchant from Wallachia, Kampulung; the city was located on the trade route from Rukar to Brasov. The German-speaking community living there maintained close relations with Sibiu. * Fees from you in Rukar were the most important source of income for Wallachia, therefore they were never the object of donation or lease. Braila Port, located on the Danube, was the country's most important port and was of exceptional importance for trade in the western Black Sea region. The decision of the self-appointed claimant to take away the income from the country and give it to Transylvania was also unprecedented, his desire to curry favor was painfully strong. * After an unsuccessful attempt to regain legal power in November 1448, the voivode fled to Moldavia. However, there is no evidence that he was present at the court of Bogdan II. Perhaps he found refuge among the Moldovan boyars who were supporters of his family. Later, the voivode is forced to move to Transylvania, after Vladislav finds himself in the same situation as many voivods before him and therefore loses the support of the Hungarians. * Joaju (Rom. Geoagiu, ung. Algyógy) is located in the Hunedoara

Sudce, where the Hunyadi family owned vast estates and were surrounded by numerous supporters. The authors of the book Corpus Draculianum contradict themselves, first they write that the Hungarians removed Vladislav because of his pro-Ottoman policy, and then that the murder of the governor could have been ordered by Hunyadi, so that, literally: “Hunyadi wanted to prevent Vlad's attack on Vladislav, so as not to violate the truce with by the Ottomans ". Several different statements. And why would Vlad even then be in Joaju, "where the Hunyadi family owned vast estates and were surrounded by numerous supporters." Honestly, I am alarmed by the attempt of the authors of the book to constantly challenge the words of the voivode in the documents (I often notice in the comments, they say, “the voivode is misleading,” or “in fact, the reason was something else, and not indicated by the voivode” (they apparently, instead of the governor, they know much better what was the cause of what was in the 15th century, in this case the same example, after all, everything is written in black and white, who attempted and why) and suppose “their own” version. I do not know the purpose of such comments. An example, one of the many about challenging, openly refuting the words of the voivode in his letter with his statement, is the commentary on the phrase “But by the will of the Lord we ourselves were able to return our lands without any help.” In the commentary to this phrase, the authors of the aforementioned publication, the governor is accused of lying, citing a completely empty formal oath to Postumus in March 1456 and arguing that (as it turns out, it was not Hunyadi who wanted to kill, as they had previously stated) with the help of Hun eadi. In support of the versions, documents are cited that are not evidence of the indicated facts, even indirectly. In some comments, the authors of the publication accuse the voivode of issuing an ultimatum without offering any negotiations, and this is for this phrase: “Therefore, with this letter we ask each and every one of you that in the name of the Lord and according to the commandments of the Catholic faith, and also for the sake of maintaining fraternal peace and friendship between us (!), after reading our letter, you certainly wrote or reported to us (!) whether you want to continue to observe the order established by us and you in writing (!) and be loyal to it. If you do not wish that more, then immediately inform us, so that we can rule and rule. " I don’t know how even softer it is possible to write after an attempted murder, after a betrayal and a secret conspiracy, the ruler who previously concluded an agreement with you asks you to inform us about your preference in actions. I cannot understand what the authors are pursuing with such comments. _____________________ RU Письмо воеводы Влада Драгули Цепеша от 14 марта 1457 года, перевод группы Воевода Валахии XV века Влад Цепеш Дракула. *** По содержанию: Данное письмо окончательно проясняет политическую ситуацию между Валахией и Трансильванией, ставшую причиной конфликта и в 1457 , и позже. Однако, для понимания ситуации стоит прочесть сначала два других документа, первый, договор между сторонами, условия содействия, второй, документ просьбы о помощи от воеводы. Данный документ следует в этой цепи третьим, интересным с точки зрения конфликта. После того, как воевода не получил ответа, согласно договору, он отправляется в земли, где укрываются претенденты на трон Валахии и их пособники. Согласно договору, если помните, сторона, на чьей земле скрывается претендент и его люди, предпочтительно, выдает (встречает воеводу , как приятеля) злоумышленников, либо не препятствует их поиску. Вероятно, воевода не встретил никакого содействия в Трансильвании, что и неудивительно, учитывая подобное отношение. Переправившись через перевал Турну-Рошу и прибыв в места укрывательства перечисленных господ, но столкнувшись с полным безразличием, воевода предпринял попытку убедить Трансильванию считаться с собой. Результатом этого стали сожженные

деревни Кашольц, Хосман и Ноу Ромын близ того самого Сибиу. Десятилетиями трепавшая нервы воеводам Валахии Трансильвания была в буквальном смысле шокирована таким поступком, беспрецедентным в своем роде настолько, что отголоски возмущения дошли до нас в виде памфлетов, сказаний, рассказов, где из года в год, из десятилетия в десятилетие, и число «невинно убиенных» становится все больше, и смерти все краше. В ряде рассказов доходит до того, что число погибших в тот период значительно превышает даже численность всех, живших на тот момент в одном из самых крупных городов Трансильвании, Брашове. Что же именно подвигло воеводу на такой решительный, давно нужный шаг? Было ли то косвенное участие Трансильвании во всех переворотах в Валахии, убийство его семьи, покушение на его собственное убийство. Вряд ли, воевода был настолько сдержан и терпелив, что, придя ко власти «без всякой помощи», заключает крепкий мир с Трансильванией и очень ответственно к тому подходит. Данное письмо очень интересно и фразой, которую некоторые историки даже трактуют как угрозу: «Ежели не желаете того более, то тотчас сообщите нам, дабы мы могли властвовать и править». Однако, с точки зрения выбора лексики, «quod nos regere et gubern{are p}ossemus» вполне нейтральна и , если говорить переносно современными словами, имеет следующее содержание: воевода, будучи правителем, сможет начать регулировать сложившуюся ситуацию , лишь тогда, когда узнает о дальнейшем политическом курсе своего соседа, Трансильвании, и не желает быть в неведении о том, потому просит сообщить о своем решении. Ничего другого в данной фразе нет, «reign and govern», «herrschen und lenken», в любом переводе, то есть, быть господарем и потому управлять ситуацией. При всем, мало кто акцентирует внимание на том, что воеводу пытались убить в Трансильвании, когда ему нужна была помощь. Также мало акцентируют внимание и на том, что воевода высказывает, пусть и тактично в рамках необходимой дипломатии, о своем отношении к происхождению претендента: «его в посягательстве на наше право истинного (!) наследника», «монаха из Валахии, кто величает себя сыном воеводы», последнее дважды особо указывается. Учитывая данные моменты, я лично не могу понять, почему Влада Монаха определенно считают внебрачным ребенком Драгула, когда среди сыновей его нигде не упоминается в документах самого отца, ни разу, а один из сыновей откровенного говорит, что Монах самозванец. На мой взгляд, Влад Монах очередной Нягое Бассараб, которых на деле, как помним, было полно. Только с одним воеводой Драгулей Цепешем внезапно появились и дублированные Мирчи, Влады и поддельные документы. Письмо воеводы Влада Драгули Цепеша от 14 марта 1457 года. *** Знатные, благоразумные и дальновидные мужи, советники, отцы, браться, наши искренне дорогие друзья и соседи, как вы помните, а о том должно вам быть хорошо известно, есть между нами обязательства , и даны клятвы, подкрепленные непоколебимой верностью; и сие обязательства и клятвы недолжно никому и никогда, пока мы живы, в любое время нарушать, на что мы вам лично особливо в письме указывали . С нашей стороны зла мы вам не творили и не намеревались то начинать. Но нынче дошел до нас слух и мы обо всем том узнали , что на тайном совете с вами были и дела свои улаживали люди монаха из Валахии, кто величает себя сыном воеводы*; пуще того, принимали в том участие и Петер Гереб *из Виришморта, и Петерман *, сын знатного Петермана, соседствующие с вами. Вам лично пообещали надолго передать все сборы с вам в Рукаре и Брэиле , посулив тем доходы Валахии.* Припомните же то время, когда скитался я и в ваши земли прибыл*, не пустили вы тогда меня в совет свой, но вместо этого вы из преданности знатному господину ,воеводе тогда этих земель , Владиславу поручили знатным мужам Иоанну Геребу из Вингарда и Николаю из Зальцбурга нас в граде Джоаджу пленить и с нами покончить. Но по воле Господа смогли мы сами без всякой помощи земли свои вернуть*, а с вами же мы заключили крепкий мир и тем сделали ваших неприятелей нашими. Нынче мы всецело разумеем то, что вы поддерживаете монаха из

Валахии , кто сыном воеводы себя величает, и людей его в посягательстве на наше право истинного наследника, а также понимаем и то, к каким худым последствиям для нас все может привести, раз вы уж и совет с ним держите, и он , в Амлаш пробравшись , там и остался , и там доныне находится по вашей же собственной воле. Потому сим письмом просим мы всех и каждого из вас о том, чтобы во имя Господа и по заповедям веры католической, а также ради поддержания между нами братского мира и дружбы, вы, прочтя наше письмо , нам непременно ответ написали или доложили, желаете ли далее соблюдать письменно установленный нами и вами порядок и быть тому преданными . Ежели не желаете того более, то тотчас сообщите нам , дабы мы могли властвовать и править. Дано в Тырговиште на второй день после праздника блаженного папы Григория, в год 1457. Влад, воевода земель Трансальпийских , ваш верный брат, сын и слуга во всем. Знатным, благоразумным и дальновидным мужам, бургомистру Освальду, судье и советникам Сибиу, всем нашим мужам саксам из Семиградья, нашим искренне уважаемым друзьям и соседям. ___________________________________________________________________________ Комментарии: *Идентификация личности Влада монаха лишь предположительная. * Петер Гереб *из Виришморта был судьей и главой Сибиу в 1467 году, позже его казнят на городской площади из-за его участия в восстании против Корвина (последнему, выходит, отмечу от себя, можно так поступать с заговорщиками и претендентами на власть и не считаться кровожадным). Петерман же был богатым торговцем Сибиу родом из Валахии , Кымпулунг; город располагался на торговом пути от Рукара в Брашов. Проживавшее там немецкоязычное сообщество поддерживало тесные отношения с Сибиу. *Сборы с вам в Рукаре были самым важным источником дохода для Валахии , потому они никогда не выступали объектом пожертвования или аренды. Порт Брэйла, расположенный на Дунае, был самым важным портом страны и имел исключительное значение для торговли в западно-черноморском регионе. Решение с��мозваного претендента отнять доход у страны и подарить его Трансильвании также было беспрецедентным, больно сильным было его желание выслужиться. * После неудачной попытки вернуть законную власть в ноябре 1448 года , воевода бежал в Молдавию . Однако, нет никаких доказательств того, что он присутствовал при дворе Богдана II. Возможно, он нашел прибежище среди молдавских бояр, которые были сторонниками его семьи. Позже воевода вынужден перебраться в Трансильванию, после того, как Владислав оказывается в той же ситуации, что и многие воеводы до него и потому лишается поддержки венгров. *Джоаджу (рум. Geoagiu, ung. Algyógy) расположен в судце Хунедоара, где семья Хуньяди владела обширными владениями и была окружена многочисленными сторонниками. Авторы книги Corpus Draculianum противоречат себе , сначала пишут, что венгры убрали Владислава из-за его проосманской политики, а потом, что убийство воеводы мог заказать Хуньяди , чтобы, дословно: «Хуньяди хотел предотвратить нападение Влада воеводы на Владислава , чтобы не нарушать перемирие с османами». Несколько различные утверждения. Да и зачем бы Владу вообще тогда находиться именно в Джоаджу, «где семья Хуньяди владела обширными владениями и была окружена многочисленными сторонниками». Меня, честно, настораживает ко всему попытка авторов книги постоянно оспорить слова воеводы в документах (не раз то замечаю в комментариях, мо��, «воевода вводит в заблуждение», или «на деле же причиной было иное, а не указанное воеводой» (они, видно, вместо воеводы куда лучше знают, что же причиной чего и было в 15 веке , в данном случае тот же пример, все ведь черным по белому писано, кто покушался и зачем) и предположить «свою» версию. Бессмысленно то. А вот какова цель подобных комментариев мне неизвестно. Примером, одним из многочисленных об оспаривании , откровенном опровержении слов воеводы в письме своим утверждением, является и комментарий к фразе «Но по воле Господа смогли мы сами без всякой помощи земли свои вернуть». В комментарии к данной фразе авторы вышеупомянутого издания обвиняют воеводу во

лжи, приводя основой совершенно пустую формальную присягу Постуму марта 1456 и утверждая, что (как оказывается, уже не Хуньяди убить хотел, как ранее ими было заявлено) с помощью Хуньяди. В поддержку версий приводятся документы, не являющиеся доказательствами указанных фактов даже косвенно. В некоторых комментариях авторы издания обвиняют воеводу в том, что он выставил ультиматум, не предлагая никаких переговоров, и это к данной фразе : «Потому сим письмом просим мы всех и каждого из вас о том, чтобы во имя Господа и по заповедям веры католической, а также ради поддержания между нами братского мира и дружбы (!), вы, прочтя наше письмо , нам непременно ответ написали или доложили, (!)желаете ли далее соблюдать письменно установленный (!)нами и вами порядок и быть тому преданными. Ежели не желаете того более, то тотчас сообщите нам , дабы мы могли властвовать и править». Уж не знаю, как еще мягче можно написать после покушения на свое убийство, после предательства и тайного заговора, правитель , заключивший ранее с вами договор, просит вас сообщить о вашем предпочтении в действиях. Не могу понять, какую цель преследуют авторы такими комментариями.

[dhwty-writes]

Surprise the Child Surprise

It's my birthday and I can't celebrate because of Covid. So, I decided to treat myself (and you guys) to some self-indulgent birthday fluff. The last scene is a bit emotional but besides that nothing bad happens, no angst, no drama, just 4,6k words of happiness. Enjoy! 

Summary: Jaskier and Geralt almost forget Ciri's eighteenth birthday and Jaskier just won't have that. He plans on celebrating it as it should be. Everything goes horribly wrong - until it doesn't. 

Read on AO3

Jaskier woke with a start, cold sweat pooling at the base of his spine with the dreadful feeling that he had forgotten something.

Now, that wasn't unusual, not really; he forgot things all the time. Only this time his mind cleared with the horrible certainty that it was something important.

He sat up, heaving in the mild spring air while he took stock of his surroundings, desperately searching for whatever he had misplaced. It wasn't his bag, that was beneath his head, and it wasn't his lute either, that was tied to Roach's saddle – which meant that he hadn't forgotten his witcher either (not that that happened often, but, to his shame, it had been an occurrence in the past). They hadn't forgotten Ciri either, she was sleeping peacefully on the other side of the fi- ‘wait a fucking minute.’

"Geralt!" he hissed quietly. The witcher grunted in his sleep and blindly groped around to pull his lover close. Jaskier jabbed him sharply in the ribs. "Geralt!"

"What?" he snapped and opened his eyes, alert for any danger. "What the fuck, Jaskier?" he growled when he noticed that they were the only ones around. "It's the middle of the night."

"I know!" Jaskier whisper-shouted. "Be quiet or you'll wake Ciri!"

He groaned and flopped back down. "Don't I deserve the same courtesy?"

"Shh!" he made again. "It's about Ciri!"

"What's about Ciri?"

"It's almost Belleteyn," he informed him solemnly

"So?"

"So, your child surprise is about to turn eighteen years old."

"Shit happens," Geralt grunted and turned to his side. "Lie down and go the fuck to sleep, Jaskier."

"What do you mean, shit happens?" he gasped, doing a very poor job of keeping his voice down. "We have to do something about it!"

He sighed exasperatedly and rubbed at his temples. "We can't stop a birthday, bard. Now get back here, so I can sleep."

"I don't want to stop it, idiot!" he hissed. "I want to celebrate it."

"Jaskier!"

"What?"

"Not now!"

"Right," he mumbled dissatisfied and moved to lie down beside him in his outstretched arms. He sighed content when Geralt wrapped himself around him, and even threw one leg over his hips to keep him in place.

And while Jaskier's body settled down, his eyes drooping tiredly, his mind wasn't quite able to shut down. There were a lot of austerities on the Path, Jaskier knew. His foot started tapping nervously. In the past twenty-eight years he had learned to live with the blisters on his feet and the reappearing holes in his clothes as well as the occasional dry spells, both in a literal and a figurative sense. But not celebrating Cirilla coming of age? That surely went too f-

"Jaskier," Geralt groaned.

"Yes, my dear?" His foot stopped twitching as he focused on the rumbling in the chest behind him.

Geralt nuzzled his neck gently. "You're thinking too loud."

"Right, I'll just stop doing that!" He rolled his eyes. "Great idea, Geralt, why didn't I think of it myself?"

He groaned wordlessly and tightened his grip on him. "Please," he whispered, "mercy. Anything to let me go back to sleep..."

Jaskier sighed. "Just keep holding onto me?" That usually helped him ground himself. He knew that Geralt was right. It was no use driving himself crazy now. He only hoped that his tireless mind that knew no rest would come to the same conclusion soon.

In the end, he must have fallen asleep, for Jaskier woke the next morning with a terribly foul mood that usually came with not enough rest. Ciri was joking around with him, completely unsuspecting of anything and Geralt didn't stop shooting him reproachful glances that he translated as ‘told you so’.

They broke camp a bit slower than normally but soon they were back on the Path again. Ciri galloped off on her mare a few times while Jaskier and Geralt enjoyed a more leisurely pace, Jaskier using her absence to continue conspiring with a hushed voice: "Geralt," he hissed and leaned over to him.

Geralt rolled his eyes and pushed at his shoulder. "You're going to fall off," he chided.

"Pfff, fiddlesticks!" he scoffed. Still, he sat upright in Pegasus' saddle again. "We need a present," he determined. "A good one."

The witcher shook his head disbelievingly. "I still don't know what all that fuss is about."

"She's coming of age, Geralt!" He threw his arms open wide, tugging sharply on the reins in the process and Pegasus snorted in annoyance. "This is a special day!"

"What are you two talking about?" This time Jaskier truly almost fell off.

"Ciri!" he exclaimed while trying to regain his composure. "Melitele's tits, you scared the living daylights out of me!"

She snickered mischievously. "Twenty-eight years on the Path, Jaskier, and still that jumpy. By the looks of it I'll soon be the one protecting you!"

"Well, that only speaks of your prowess with that sword of yours," he answered light-heartedly. "But I assure you, I won't be in need of your defence in the near future."

Geralt snorted. "You couldn't handle anything more dangerous than a very determined squirrel."

Jaskier gasped in mock offence and swatted at him while Ciri laughed. "How dare you?" he bristled. "I could handle a very determined rabbit at least! Besides, I trust that you will burden yourself with the duty to rescue me from any further possibly lethal situations. Just as you did in the past."

Geralt hummed quietly but it was a soft hum, the kind that always managed to set butterflies loose in Jaskier’s stomach. ‘After all these years,’ he thought happily, ‘I am still the luckiest man on the continent.’ And how could he not, with his quiet witcher by his side, who showed his love daily in a thousand ways that never required words.

"So, what were you talking about?" Ciri asked curiously and brought him back to the present.

"You don't want to know," Geralt grumbled the same moment that Jaskier winked exaggeratedly and said: "Oh, nothing, dear."

She wrinkled her nose. "Gross," she declared and spurred off again.

As soon as she was gone, Jaskier shot Geralt a pointed look that said as much as 'Do you understand why I wanted to talk about this at night now?' and the witcher sighed.

"Fine," he conceded. "But no dramatics."

Jaskier gasped and clutched his chest dramatically. "I would never!" A wide grin spread on his face. Secretly, he had been making plans for months. He already knew what gift he would present her with, he knew what cake he would order in a bakery. He even knew a nice quiet clearing with a lake in the area where he had once deflowered a fair maiden but now it would be perfect for the birthday celebration of the Lion Cub of Cintra – who he really should stop calling Cub, now that she was a woman grown, come to think of it. With the xenovox he even could invite the rest of their little family.

“Jaskier…,” Geralt growled as warning but it only made him grin wider. He was sure that everything would go just perfectly. 

~*~

"This is horrible!" Jaskier croaked and sniffled.

"Come on, Jaskier," Geralt said softly, "it's not that bad."

He coughed violently and clung to his lover. "I'm sick, Geralt," he lamented in a whisper, the loudest sound he could manage, "I'm sick and can't sing. This is a catastrophe as terrible as there ever wa-" The rest of his tirade was drowned out in another fit of coughing.

"Shhh," the witcher made and rubbed his back soothingly. "Don't overexert yourself. And stop talking, you're only making it worse."

"You sound entirely too pleased with my miserable condition."

"I assure you; I am not. I prefer your singing to your whining. I mean it, though. Stop talking."

He rolled his eyes and shot him a look that said as much as 'as if that's ever gonna happen'. Judging from Geralt's snort the witcher found his own joke hilarious, too. "You're horrible!" He swatted at him. "I am lying on my deathbed and-"

"I assure you; you are not."

"-you are still treating me badly. I don't even know why I put up with you!"

Geralt smirked. "I've been asking myself the same thing for the past three decades..."

Jaskier let out a strangled shout and punched him weakly in the chest. The witcher only laughed and responded with a kiss. 'I guess it does have advantages to have a lover who can't get sick,' Jaskier mused.

"You're cute," Ciri said fondly as she stepped through a portal onto the clearing.

"Ciri!" Jaskier exclai- well, tried to exclaim and whispered instead. "Oh, I am so sorry that I am in this wretched state today of all days," he said and tried to scramble to his feet only to be promptly pulled down by Geralt again. "Stop that, you donkey arse, I'm trying to wish your daughter a happy birthday."

"The sentiment is very much appreciated," Ciri told him and squatted down beside him, "but I am not the incapacitated one." She smiled softly and held out a vial. "Got you medicine. Drink up, Jaskier."

He scowled angrily which undoubtedly resulted in a ridiculous pout, but didn't try to resist too much when Geralt uncorked the vial and held to his lips. He did complain, though; it was one of his greatest strengths after all. "That tastes like piss," he lamented.

Ciri laughed and arched an eyebrow. "And you know what that tastes like because...?"

He winced. "That's a story for when Uncle Lambert gets you drunk the first time this winter."

Geralt's grip on him tightened. "No, he won't."

"Sure," Jaskier drawled and winked at Ciri who grinned excitedly. 'Just you wait,' he mouthed and made grabby hands towards her. "Can I give you your annual birthday hug at least?"

"That you can!" She wriggled closer and batted Geralt's hands away. "Scoot, you can have him again, later. Right now, it's my turn for the best hug on the Continent."

Pride welled up inside him when he heard that as if he had just won the Oxenfurt bardic tournament. And even though he was not willing to admit it there was a tiny tear in the corner of his eye when he pulled her close. "Happy birthday, Ciri," he whispered, the tears stealing his voice as much as his ailment. "I'm so, so very proud of you, cub."

"Thank you, Jaskier," she answered, her voice just as heavy as hers.

It felt nice and Jaskier allowed himself to sink into that feeling until- "Who are you and what are you doing to my daughter?" the sharp voice behind him startled him and he tried to scramble away.

"Yennefer, what the fuck?" he croaked hoarsely.

The sorceress just laughed and even Geralt snorted amused. "Gets you every time. What is that, a knee-jerk reaction, or-!"

"Oh, ha ha, very funny," he rolled his eyes only to be pulled into another hug.

"Oh, shoo!" Ciri said and held on tighter. "I'm not done here yet and I'm the birthday girl. Besides, I'm his as much as I'm yours."

'Huh,' Jaskier thought as he closed his arms around her again. ‘Whatever she means with that.’

To his even bigger surprise, Yennefer agreed: "Yeah, we did a pretty damn good job raising that little rascal." There was a tiny pause. “All three of us did.”

Geralt hummed and closed his arms around him again. 'Oh,' Jaskier thought as he realised what they were saying and there was no stopping the tears now. He had never thought himself as part of Ciri’s chosen-few of educators doubling as parental figures. ‘And yet,’ he thought, ‘here we are.’ “Are you serious about that?” he whispered quietly enough that he hoped Yennefer didn’t hear.

“Sure am,” Ciri answered and squeezed him tightly.

"Are you crying, bard?" Yennefer mocked, but there was no true edge to her voice. "That's pathetic."

He sniffled and raised his middle finger in response. The sorceress laughed and Ciri slowly let go. She got up and walked over to her to receive her birthday wishes, too. Jaskier used the time to get comfortable in Geralt's lap again.

The witcher had already congratulated her early this morning when Jaskier had still been certain to meet death on the damp forest floor somewhere in Kovir of all places. After ten pathetic minutes of his whining, Ciri had taken pity on him and opened a portal to go get medicine somewhere. He hadn't asked where but knowing her mother — or rather any of her parents — there was no way there wasn’t some level of illegality involved.

"So, I guess we're staying here for today?" Ciri asked, turning towards them again.

"That was the plan anyways," Geralt mumbled.

"The plan?" Ciri asked disbelievingly. "You had a plan?"

"Now come on, Cub, that would hardly be the first t- yeah, shutting up," Jaskier mumbled as he saw the three pointed glares directed at him.

"Please," Ciri mocked, "you don't do plans. None of you."

"That's untrue," Yennefer chimed in, "we do, in fact, do plans.”

Jaskier added: “Alas, they’re always deferred by fate.”

“They’re shitty from the start,” Geralt concluded.

They all shared a hearty laugh which ended in another coughing fit from Jaskier. Geralt fell silent as once and glared at him angrily. "If you don't stop talking now," he growled, "I'll gag you."

Ciri and Yennefer gagged in unison. "Gross," Ciri declared. Ridiculously, he was relieved to see that. 'Come on, Jaskier, she's not a completely different person just because of one stupid day,' he reminded himself. But when Geralt squeezed his hand, he knew that he was not alone with his thoughts.

"So," their daughter asked as she sat down against a log, "what was the plan?" She looked at them expectantly.

Geralt 'hmmed' and made no apparent attempt to start talking. Jaskier rolled his eyes but determined to elude a smelly rag shoved into his mouth – he had no doubts that the witcher would go through with his threat – he kept his mouth shut and began jabbing him in the ribs with his finger instead while he gazed at him pleadingly. "No," the witcher said sharply but began talking at least: "Jaskier wrote a song for you. Wanted to serenade you. Pity he can't do that now."

Yennefer snorted. At least Ciri smiled sympathetically. "I'm looking forward to hearing it. Once you can hold a note again."

Jaskier hit Geralt sharply in the ribs with his elbow and made grabby hands.

"Will you be able to keep from singing, if I hand you your lute?" the witcher asked doubtfully.

He nodded eagerly and Yennefer shook her head, laughing loudly. "Liar."

Geralt patted Jaskier's head but made no attempt to fetch him his lute. Defiantly Jaskier crossed his arms. Not that anyone of the present people cared for it.

"There's also cake," Geralt continued. "Jaskier insisted."

"Where?" Ciri arched an eyebrow. "With the horses?"

"Hmm."

"Ah. I think you mean to say there was cake." She pointed her thumb at where Roach was happily munching out of- the black saddlebag the cake was stored in.

"No!" Jaskier croaked and jumped to his feet. "Bad horse!"

But before he could dash over to her, Geralt caught him by the scruff and pulled him back down. "Bad bard," he growled. Yennefer and Ciri didn't even try to hide their laughter.

"This is the worst birthday I've ever planned," Jaskier moaned woefully. That alone sent the two women into another fit of laughter and once Geralt clamped his hand over his bard’s mouth and they resumed their discussion with wide gestures (Jaskier) and pointed glares (Geralt) they were positively howling with laughter.

"So," Ciri said, once she had recovered. "You wanted to stay here for a whole day doing what? Listening to one song and eating a cake?"

"Of course not! Who do you take us for, Ciri?" Yennefer asked. "I wouldn't dream of punishing you with one of the bard's mediocre songs as your only present."

He showed her his middle finger. Again.

She smiled brightly and continued: “There’s a banquet table waiting for you behind another portal. With proper cake.”

He held up his second middle finger, too, for good measure. At least until Geralt pressed his hands down again.

"Show her," he told Yennefer and Jaskier sat up a bit more. Geralt had refused to provide him with so much as a hint for whatever he had planned for Ciri's birthday, but judging from his secretiveness it had to be huge.

"Are you sure?" the sorceress inquired. "It was your idea, after all."

The witcher just shrugged, and then Yennefer shrugged, too, and handed Ciri a velvet pouch. "Happy birthday, ugly one," she told her with a soft smile.

The girl looked at them questioningly before opening the little bag. She turned it upside down and Jaskier leaned forward to get a better look. They gasped in unison when the silver chain slid out. "Where did you get that?" she asked disbelievingly as she traced the wolf's head on the medallion with her thumb.

"Found it years ago," Geralt said simply as if he hadn't just gifted her an incredibly rare artefact of his school. "Was waiting for the right moment. Gave it to Yen for safekeeping. Thanks."

"Well...," the sorceress said, "I might have... modified it."

"Yen...," Geralt said reproachfully but she only raised her hands in innocence.

"Don't worry! None of the original qualities are lost. I know this stuff. After all, I've done it before." She tapped the amulet around her throat. "Remember Ellander, Ciri?"

She nodded, her eyes still on the medallion. "I couldn't look away from it."

Yennefer smiled. "This is just the same."

She raised her eyes. "Geralt..."

Jaskier felt him shake his head behind him. "It's nothing. You're a witcher, aren't you? Trained in Kaer Morhen like the rest of us. You're meant to have one."

Without any sort of warning, Ciri flung himself at Geralt, trapping Jaskier awkwardly in the midst of their hug. "Thank you," she said over and over again, "thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you."

Jaskier uncomfortably cleared his throat. "Umm- D'you want me to?"

"Shut up, Jaskier," they said simultaneously. Ciri let go with one arm to point at Yen. "And you! Stop pretending and join the hug!"

"Now that's no way to talk with your mother-" Ciri and Jaskier groaned and rolled their eyes. "Fine," she decreed. "Just don't think too much of it." But then, to Jaskier’s astonishment, she came over and hugged them, too. 

Ciri sighed happily. "This is the best birthday I could have wished for," she confessed. "And the best family, too." And, in the end, that was all that mattered.

Yennefer stayed for the rest of the day but when they all woke up on the next morning, she had already said goodbye to Ciri and vanished without a trace. Geralt insisted on waiting for another day but Jaskier wanted to hear none of that. He was feeling well enough, he claimed, and they could resume their travels.

~*~

It took a week for his voice to fully return and another for him to find a quiet moment to finally give Ciri her present. Geralt had gone off to- do something, he was sure and he approached Ciri nervously.

"Hey," Jaskier said softly and sat down next to her, gently nudging her with his shoulder, "watcha thinking about?"

"Hmm," she made stoking the fire until sparks danced up into the night. "Just... stuff."

He nodded. "I imagine," he agreed but made no attempt to press her further. She wasn't like Geralt in that aspect. He knew she'd open up eventually.

After a while she asked: "Do you think we'll ever know peace?"

"The continent? I'm sure of it."

"No," she shook her head. "We. You, me, Geralt. Yennefer and Triss. Lambert and Eskel. All of our little family, I mean. Do you think we'll ever have a place to call home? Where we won’t have to fear?"

Jaskier laughed at that. "Who knows? There's nothing certain in life, little cub, you should know that. There might come a day when you and Geralt sheathe your swords. A day when the last portal closes behind Yennefer. Or there might not be. There's something that won't change, though, and that's a promise."

"And what's that?"

"Wherever you go, my songs won't be far behind. You'll never be alone on your Path. And that's a little bit like home, too, isn't it?

Ciri smiled. "I guess it is."

"Now, I believe I promised you a song, didn't I? Would you like to hear it?"

"Yes, Jaskier, I very much would."

"Great!" He shot up and wheeled around, lunging for his lute. He slung the lute strap over his shoulders and bowed with a flourish that made Ciri laugh. "Ladies, gentlemen and noble steeds," he announced, "I present to you my newest creation: The Ballad of the Lion Pup." He hesitated for one moment. "Just- this is for your ears only, Ciri. I mean every word of it, but no living soul must ever hear it. Do you understand?"

“I know.” She nodded solemnly and tipped her head back to gaze at the stars. "Just sing it already, Jaskier."

"Right..." he said and gingerly plucked the first few notes of the song. Then, he began to sing:

 In a time of dark and blood and war

There was a princess fair.

And though she knew the woes of life

She did never despair.

 When the White Sun rose above our heads

And the Lioness did fall

The Lion Cub then quickly fled

To escape from Nilfgaard's thrall.

 For years she ran, for years she searched

For a wolf as white as snow.

And when they met, their fates entwined,

It was the end of all their woes.

 Up north inside the White Wolf's den,

The Lion Cub did grow.

Amidst the stone and winds and ice,

New life and love did rise.

 And though she had arrived a Cub,

She never left as that.

The Cub did turn into a Pup,

Part of the White Wolf's pack.

 The White Wolf was the first to love,

His destined Child Surprise.

And so, the Wolf both strong and rough,

Held the young girl when she cried.

 The wise Grey Wolf taught what he knew,

As he'd done for all his life.

So, in the Den life grew anew,

The pack again did thrive.

 The Strong Wolf and the Small One, too,

Loved their Pup just as much.

For after years of grief, they knew,

The glory of a laugh.

Then there joined into the fray,

A lonely Griffin in his nest

At night they loved to sing and play

Whatever they loved best.

 In sorcery she was well trained,

For witches she knew two.

And so, the Pup a sister gained

And then a mother, too.

 Do trust that this whole song is true,

For I was there, as well.

And I loved her 'til the end of time,

So, believe the tale I tell.

 In a time when our whole world burned

There was a princess fair.

But she was loved and loved in turn

So, she did never despair.

 The last notes drifted off into the night and Ciri looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered.

There was a quiet harrumph from the edge of the trees and Jaskier spun around. "Geralt!" he exclaimed happily, taking in the fond expression on his face. "Did you listen?"

"I did," he confessed quietly opening his arms for the bard. He quickly set his lute down and hurried over to him.

Ciri got up with an exaggerated sigh and roll of her eyes. "Ughh," she said and grabbed her bedroll, "I'll set up camp elsewhere."

"Don't go too far!" Jaskier called after her.

"Don't be too loud," she replied, obviously doing her best to sound annoyed and failing miserably. "I fucking hate it when you're loud."

Jaskier snickered quietly and turned to loop his arms around Geralt's neck. "Just like her father," he whispered against his lips, "feigning annoyance to mask her softness."

"Hmm," Geralt made and kissed him. "I'm doing a better job, though."

"No, you're not. And I love you for it." He pecked him on the mouth.

"I also seem to recall another father of hers who's horribly dramatic. And whines three days about splinters up his arse after sitting on a log I told him not to sit down to."

"That's not fair." Jaskier wrinkled his nose. "You see, you don't have all the facts."

"Which are?" the witcher asked and pulled him closer.

"That I happen to be endowed with a rather shapely arse," he replied grinning cheekily, "which you aren't allowed to touch if there's so much as a sliver of wood in it."

"Hmm," Geralt made contemplatively and lowered his hands to grasp his backside firmly. "I'm not convinced. Might need to get a better look at it."

Jaskier laughed loudly and dove in for a kiss. "That you shall have," he promised and tugged him towards their bedrolls.

When they laid side by side afterwards, as naked as the day they were born with tangled limbs and mingled breaths, Jaskier sighed contently. "So," he said, pillowing his head on Geralt's chest, "some review? Three words or less."

"Shapely arse indeed," he mumbled, his voice heavy from exhaustion and bliss.

He slapped him lightly. "Not that, you idiot witcher. The song. Did you like it?"

"Hm." Geralt buried his face in Jaskier's hair. "Loved it. Love all your songs."

"Really? Because I seem to remember some comment about my singing and its resemblance to a fillingless pie."

He groaned. "Fuck, Jaskier, that was years ago."

He snickered. "Always love to tease you about it."

"I'm aware." After a short pause he added: "Can I ask you something?"

"Always, darling."

"In your song... It's not like the songs you sing about me. It's not about... her deeds."

"No," he agreed, "it isn't."

"Why"

"Because the people needed reminding that you were their protector all along. With Ciri they need reminding that she is more than just their protector. As does she herself." He propped himself up on one elbow and gently stroked Geralt's hair. "In a century or five or ten, stories of her will fade. They won't remember the colour of her hair, or her favourite food or that she fell in love with that lovely girl three months ago." Geralt shot him a bewildered look and he sighed. "Though I can hardly hold it against them if her own father didn't know."

Geralt scowled. Tired as he was, it was the most adorable effigy of a pout. "I still don't understand."

"They will always remember her heroics," he explained patiently. "That's not what's important, though. The important thing is that she's loved and loves in return. And that she never forgets it."

"Hmm," he hummed and frowned even harder. "I love you."

Jaskier blinked stunned for one moment. 'Oh Geralt,' he thought as soon as it hit him, 'you only needed to ask.' In his mind there were a thousand odes to Geralt's love already, a myriad of songs that had never been sung, never out loud, at least. Not even when it had been only him had he dared to do that, but now- "And I love you, too," Jaskier sighed contently and snuggled closer. He kissed him on the cheek. A promise, a sacred oath between them, understood without ever saying the words. 'I'll sing of your love, too.'

His mind was already drifting off to sleep when he heard Geralt whisper: "There's peace in your arms for me. There's a home in your songs. With you, there’s nothing I fear."

With a content smile on his lips, Jaskier slept. Peacefully.

[tigpooh67]

New interview from Pedro.    Did my best to translate to English.

Enjoy!!

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Looks like Pedro Pascal is in every possible universe. Here and there. In the past, in the present and in galaxies far, far away. Today, the actor is considered the great benchmark of entertainment and one of those in charge of saving a franchise that seemed lost. Sufficient reasons to talk exclusively about discipline, gastronomy, creeds and how he swallowed his dad in 30 seconds.

 The SAR defines 'creed' as the set of ideas, principles or convictions of a person or group. For example, by creed, one can leave his country and be in exile. It just so happens that one can leave the loved one behind. Or simply live in another reality. And you can also put on a helmet to pretend never to take it off again. If that is the way to go, the creed says that it must be done with the profession of faith and without stopping to look. As he turned the pages of the script for The Mandalorian, the Disney+ series that revived passion and nostalgia for the Star Wars franchise, Pedro Pascal came across this definition in every dialogue and moment, and reflection worked his way.

It has been more than two decades since the Chilean-American Pedro Pascal began his acting career and today, named as the great benchmark of 2020, misses the theater and still hurts him not to have the discipline to exercise and maintain a healthy diet while recognizing the ironic of having the best year of his career in the midst of one of the worst in recent history. But even in physical solitude, the man who carried Christmas's best-selling baby rescues many positive things and shares the vision of the universes he has traveled through, his passion for distant galaxies, and how to traumatify your family with a simple TV scene. In interview, the Mandalorian of Latin America.

 IMDB named you the 2020 benchmark in entertainment, a year in which the world took refuge in fiction. What was it like to live your best time locked up and what do you rescue on a human level from him?

The strength of family relationships and friendship. For them, we endure this physical loneliness. I find it ironic that in 2020 I received projects so well received by the public, although they were carried out before the pandemic and their impact was during this one, and that year I was isolated and alone. But I must stress that loneliness is a privilege when many people had to keep working, surviving and maintaining the functioning of the world. We just had to be alone, but they had more than that and you have to value it too.

 Among the activities you've lost, how much do you miss the theater?

A lot, really. It's something I miss most and being with people without feeling afraid. See a play and return to those experiences of being with people doing and living things in common. That's what I need most, besides my loved ones.

 Disney went into streaming and its strong card has your face, what do you think of the discussion of platforms against movie theaters?

In streaming there are amazing things and many people develop great projects that they didn't access before. The diversity of voices is taking its way and it is important to recognize that opportunities grow exponentially and limits change. It's amazing how much availability we have to very well-made content and how creative people can share their work in different ways. But I also want to be honest: limiting the experience of viewing content only on our gadgets or at home is a mistake that affects the stories we can tell. A mix of opportunities and challenges must be achieved.

Leaps between the fictional universes that mark the last decades until they reach the universe of universes. What is your first Star Wars memory and how do you sum up the essence of this legendary story?

For me, Star Wars is nostalgia itself. It's one of the primary things in my memory, of my childhood. I came to the United States with my Chilean family when I was under two years old and one of my first memories is going to the movies with my dad to see the saga; it becomes one of those romantic things about childhood, that open your mind, so imagine how special it is to participate in this project. I think the creators of The Mandalorian fully understand this nostalgia and power, and they managed to count on that element as a great ally for the Star Wars world and I can't be happier to be a part of it. (Of which we look forward to the third season The Mandalorian)

 The Mandalorian exploits the power and nuances of your voice, did you have that letter on your resume?

I didn't know I could do it, but I resorted to my theatrical preparation, which was very physical at all levels and feelings. There are elements that have to do with creating a role, and they teach you that voice is a primary thing, something you have to start with and can't hide. Now I've learned a lot more about the importance of that, and how to use it with economics. The body also has to do with it, because something very subtle communicates something. At The Mandalorian, I had a great time figuring out how to do it, they gave me the opportunity to develop it in different ways. The opportunity to be very intense in it.

 What about the ego when someone works under a suit and mask?

In the conversations about the project, before doing so, we were informed of the idea and concept of the whole season, so I clearly understood what it was. I wanted it to be the most powerful version of what they were trying to accomplish, so it didn't make sense for me to involve my ego, you know? It was already very clear what the project meant, so I knew about the character, the piece he represented for himself and the opportunity it was for me, so I was just focused on better executing the part that touched me in all this. In the theater, I worked several times under a mask and it helped me develop the experience.

It seems that The Mandalorian has a very theatrical base...

Exactly, and thanks to the physical experience of working in theater, making a play a few times a week, discovering how your body and your voice communicate, being part of an entire image, and how you will tell that story visually, I achieved this character. I never imagined it would be something I would have to use in such an important Star Wars project.

 On the list of entertainment greats, there are names like Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, do you think John Favreau's should be added to the list?

I think his name is already included. Without a doubt, it's in that category and it's amazing. I'm fascinated by his vision. I remember a chapter in the second season, and I had some boots and I walked so much in the snow, that it stuck to them. He noticed, so he talked to the art department about the kind of boots you need when you're in the snow. They came up to me and gave me some new ones that fulfilled the idea I was looking for. He noticed it in an instant. It is such a wonderful detail and is repeated at scale in every session with it. Think of absolutely everything and your vision of using technology is admirable. He's someone who makes you feel motivated and always sees how to achieve the goal.

 One of the reflections of the series is on how and under what circumstances a man can break his creed and the way he lives. What makes you break up with your beliefs?

I think you must follow your heart so as not to repent of anything; even if it sometimes brings pain or conflict, deep down when you go back, it's all worth it because it's what you heard in your heart. I'm very afraid to deny that feeling or not to take care of it. Now I'm 45 years old and I can't believe I have a finer philosophy. Make him more disciplined. It's ridiculous, but I'm trying to accept that I am and that's all I can say, "Follow your heart." Although, you know, I still don't follow a good diet, I still have trouble sleeping or exercising.

 Are you still good at Chilean empanadas?

Yes, I couldn't stop. And also how good that I don't live in Mexico City because I would only spend it eating. I could move my whole life to the defe just to eat.

 I want to deviate and ask you, who did you see the chapter of your death in Game of Thrones and what trauma did you cause to your family?

For me, no trauma. I separate myself well from the characters, although I fully understand that if I were a Game of Thrones audience and loved that character, it would make an incredible impression on me. Thank you, it wasn't. I had to interpret it and there was a model of my head to be crushed that way with the tubes and the fake blood, you know? I lay there, with pieces of my flesh, it was funny in the end. But not for my family. There's nothing funny about them and it's traumatic. My dad totally changed his voice when we saw the episode, turned around and said, "I didn't like it, Pedro. No, Pedro, not this."

 The media found similarities between your villain in Wonder Woman: 1984 and Donald Trump. When you play a character with characteristics like that, do you humanize or understand it?

The project had nothing to do with the former president. I was always told that my character in Wonder Woman:1984 was emotionally messy, and I took that and took it as far away as possible. Instead of creating it with images or certain inspirations from life, it was more working with what was on the page. Personally, what made sense to me is the size of the story being told and there's always more, and we all want more. Creatively, if this makes sense, that meant "flying it out of the park." Connect a hit with the character and be committed to telling their story faithfully, in a way that was true to me. So all the exterior elements found their way.

 What way to start 2021 with the theme of the Capitol... how do you perceive that moment?

I am not a politician and it is not that I have no opinion on such events; However, there is no need to express the obvious. My opinion would be very simple compared to that of a person who studied this, who knows how to act in these kinds of scenarios; I think I'm next to the majority who lived this, which is the logical result of what we've been through over the years and we're all horrified. It was distressing to see this violence.

 If you had the monolith in your hands, what would be your wish?

My wish would be... it's impossible, the truth (laughs). I think it's being together again, with less fear and people having a chance to connect.

 What is your position of the reality that Chile has experienced in recent years and how has the relationship with your country been since exile?

It's something I'm developing and I keep doing it in my life, trying to understand that it's my home. Being in Chile is being at home, but my life has been very nomadic, living different things and having many influences; so it's strange, I don't feel the title of a full Chilean identity or an American.

 Neither from here nor there?

In a sense, but I'm also completely both. My parents are Chileans, my brothers were born there before my parents traveled, and I returned sometimes because my family is so big; in fact, my parents came back. It's always been there, it's still developing, and it's going to be a part of me. I don't know if I answer your question, but it has a lot to do with who I am.

 What is your relationship with Latin American cinema? Interested in you?

A lot, it's invaded me in life like American cinema. The movies I have in my heart, seeing something like And your mom was also something that changed me; I also love the work that comes out of Chile, and all I can say is that it is a cinema that needs more access and projects.

You got a comedy with Nicolas Cage on your doorstep today, can you tell me something?

It's my first chance at comedy, as a complete story within the genre. Speaking of American influences, in the 1980s I saw all the films where Nicolas Cage was coming out, he came into my life and it's great to be his partner after seeing all his performances.

 What's your relationship with the comedy genre like?

I love it, I've done a lot of comedy in the theater, what happens is that in film and television themes, I was always part of drama castings. And in the cinema, you go where the doors open; although I identify with one or the other, I think being an actor, you go and do what you have to do. Comedy is something unique, it's very challenging because it has to be very real to make it funny, you can't hide or use normal tricks. I was very excited to have this challenge in front of a camera.

 Finally, Pedro, after going through so many fictional worlds, literally, what do you dream of when you sleep?

I dream that my bathroom is dirty, that I haven't done my math homework, that the oven and all that stuff are on. Of course, there are times when I close my eyes and see myself in all these projects, although my conscience is with the anxieties of the day you can imagine.

[fayewonglibrary]

Interview with Alex San (2007)

Faye Wong liked to record in Beijing and was very casual when she worked. In addition to being willing to do heavy work such as moving musical instruments, Faye Wong was highly collaborative when recording in the studio. She also played pranks on the sound engineer from time to time, requesting to tell his fortunes, otherwise she would not let him off work.

In the past ten years, Alex San has developed in the Hong Kong music industry. He has produced/arranged music with many big names such as Leslie Cheung, Faye Wong, Aaron Kwok, etc., and is currently one of the most valuable musicians in Malaysia.

Who leads the trends in the Chinese music industry? Whose talents are the constant topic of conversation? I believe that there is only one answer: Faye Wong. No matter how many indulgences you have other than music, as soon as Faye Wong's voice appears, you will only listen to her and no longer think about anything else.

Nowadays, many singers like to sing cover songs. In terms of brilliance, there is almost no one that can surpass Faye Wong's covers of Teresa Teng songs in THE DECADENT SOUND OF FAYE, released in 1995. That album allowed the market to reevaluate "bubblegum pop", raised Faye Wong's music status to another level, and made a name for producer/arranger Alex San who shined during that album.

*****

INTERVIEW BY: Zhang Guoxiang, director of the entertainment section of Guangming Daily (Malaysia)

Q: Honestly speaking, the first time I heard the name Alex San was in THE DECADENT SOUND OF FAYE. One day, a senior colleague said that Alex San is a Malaysian. I was surprised that Malaysia had produced a musician who could work with superstars. Basically, among locals, your name carried a halo on your head.

ALEX SAN: Many people only began to know me on that Faye Wong album. However, in her previous albums such as PLEASE MYSELF, RANDOM THOUGHTS and others, my name had already appeared. I also wrote a song for her before called "Honeymoon". Most people are also aware of "I Don't Want To Be Like This Either". But the one that I truly worked with her on was THE DECADENT SOUND OF FAYE.

Q: How did you meet Faye Wong?

ALEX SAN: I first met her producer Alvin Leong. We often worked in the same studio. He probably overheard me working! One day, he knocked on the door and in the first sentence asked: "I don't know if you are interested in making arrangements for my female singer... She is Faye Wong..."  He was very humble! In fact, Faye Wong was already popular in Hong Kong at that time.

Q:  It is undeniable that Faye Wong, with her unique temperament and extraordinary fashion, has been a trend setter for more than a decade. The styles were shocking. Classic styles such as pineapple head, sunburn makeup, and smoky eye makeup attracted a large number of followers, and even now people still imitate them. After THE DECADENT SOUND OF FAYE, many people's impression of her changed a lot. She sang Teresa Teng's songs as "Faye Wong" without losing the original flavor. I often joked with my friends that if I can bring only one CD to a deserted island, I will choose THE DECADENT SOUND OF FAYE.

ALEX SAN: There are a lot of inside stories about this album. The decision-making on this album rested with Faye Wong. She chose all the songs herself and she said that she did not want to produce it in Hong Kong, so all the recording work was moved to Beijing.

Q: Why does she not like Hong Kong? Is it because of the paparazzi? I remember that Faye Wong at that time had become the main target of the paparazzi.

ALEX SAN: This is one reason! I think maybe her relationship with her boyfriend (Dou Wei) was also in Beijing. The producing/arranging for that album was originally supposed to be done half by me and half by Dou Wei. But in the end, I was forced to complete it.

Q: Why do you say that you were "forced"? Isn't it a beautiful thing to collaborate with the Heavenly Queen?

ALEX SAN: I really “shed tears” for that album. I took a recording engineer and we lived in Beijing for two months. There was only one thing to do in two months - make 5 songs for the album (the other 5 by Dou Wei) and try to "wow" people. But then the problems started. Within a few days of going up to Beijing, Faye Wong disappeared and no one could find her...

Q: Looking back at the reports at that time, many Hong Kong paparazzi went up north, hoping to catch her and Dou Wei.

ALEX SAN: Beijing is too big. If Faye Wong hides, the paparazzi will not be able to keep up. In fact, the real reason why she hid was to avoid people from the record company. In terms of [the album] concept, Ah Fei and the record company were at odds.

Q: Then what about you? What happens when the singer does not show up to  the recording studio?

ALEX SAN: When time was nearing the end, Ah Fei showed up, so there was no particular worry...The only worry was just how to elevate Ah Fei.

Q: A moment ago, you said you had to complete all the songs?

ALEX SAN: One day when I was working in the studio, an unexpected guest suddenly appeared - it was Ah Fei. She didn't say anything, as if nothing had happened. She was holding a package of various CDs in her hand and threw it on the table: "Alex, Dou Wei quit, you can handle the other 5 songs......." I was shocked and quickly begged for mercy: "Big sister, let me off the hook......" But Ah Fei didn't say anything, just told me to fix the other songs. In the end, I had to take the field. I arranged 7 songs for that album and I really didn’t have time to do the remaining 6 songs, so I found someone else. [NOTE: This should be where Adrian Chan comes into the story.]

Q: Speaking of the topic that Faye Wong likes to work in Beijing, it reminds me of one thing. I once met Faye Wong herself in a restaurant in Beijing. I observed her for a long time and she was not dressed up. But the interesting thing is that from the beginning to end, no one ran forward to ask for her autograph, take photos or anything. I think this is why she prefers to be in Beijing!

ALEX SAN: There are also many big stars in Beijing and the people there treat Ah Fei as an ordinary person. Ah Fei didn't have anything fancy while recording. Many recording studios in China are built “inside”.

Q: What is “inside”?

ALEX SAN: It is the kind where you must walk through a long corridor or alley, and the path may be blocked by many musical instruments. One time, I was walking with Ah Fei and saw that the corridor was blocked by a lot of equipment. The men began moving the equipment away. Ah Fei came forward naturally to help us and she moved the drums!

Q: She was a diva...

ALEX SAN: It was strange. We didn't think about this problem at the time. After Ah Fei moved it, she was covered in dirt.

Q: Does Faye Wong have any habits when recording?

ALEX SAN: Ah Fei is like a child. In the recording studio, she laughs heartily like an aunt. We were really happy when we worked together. Ah Fei knows where she is going to sing, sometimes she would automatically stop and say ‘try again’ in the middle of singing. Basically she can already be her own producer.  

Ah Fei is also very superstitious. My sound engineer was in a miserable situation because he had very little knowledge about fate [horoscopes / fortune telling]. Faye Wong kept staring at him. Every time from the beginning to end of work, she would catch him and said she wants to read his horoscope. Once when I was very tired from work, Faye Wong ran up and spread out her hands and said, "Come on! Let me read your palms!".  Ah Fei is a cute girl but the public takes her too seriously. 

Q: Leslie Cheung's later works were a bit similar to Faye Wong, the content was very ethereal. Even Lin Xi, who wrote lyrics, said that when writing songs for Faye Wong and Leslie Cheung, he often couldn't get away from that style.

ALEX SAN: Gor Gor [Leslie] liked Ah Fei very much. Every time he went to KTV [karaoke], he must order Ah Fei's songs to sing. I know Gor Gor and Ah Fei because of Alvin Leong. Alvin was always the producer for Gor Gor. Once Alvin brought a song to the studio and asked me if I could re-arrange it. He said that Gor Gor didn't like the previous arrangement, so can I re-arrange it?

Q: What was the first thought that came to your mind?

ALEX SAN: Gor Gor Leslie Cheung! Later, fortunately, he used my arrangement.

Q: What was that song?

ALEX SAN:  The theme song of the sequel to "He's a Woman, She's a Man" called "Caring Person".

Q: Later, when Gor Gor asked you to collaborate, were you given any special instructions?

ALEX SAN: Gor Gor was very direct, he was straightforward. He just said that he hoped to have the feeling of "Faye Wong", and was confident in me.

------------------------------------------------------------------  

SOURCE: GUANGMING DAILY // TRANSLATED BY: FAYE WONG FUZAO

[e-ampersand-c]

Fiesta

Author's note : I AM SO SORRY. This took longer than expected...Though it is a long chapter, so hopefully I'll be able to put up content much faster. Anyways, please enjoy :D

Ang Unang Araw

(The First Day)

"Para sa inyo po señora! Ginawa po ng mga magulang namin para sa pagpapasalamat sa inyong pamilya, na tinanggap at hindi tinalikuran ang iyong mga kapwa hanggang ngayon." Masayang sinabi ni Maya habang hinahawak ang mga kamay ng mga bunso.

Ngumiti si Maricela, alalang-alala ang totoong rason kung bakit niya kailangan manalo sa kanyang kaso, ngunit nalaglag ang puso niya sa ngiti ng tatlong bata.

English Translation:

"This is for you señora! Our parents made this to thank you and your family, who accepted us and never turned your back against your fellow people until now." Maya smiled brightly as she held the younger children's hands.

Maricela smiled, remembering the true reason why she needed to win the case, but her heart sank deeply at the innocent smiles of the 3 children.

----------------------------------------------------------

Maricela was just about to leave the house when a knock was heard. She opened the door to find the three youngest children of each of the families living on her land: Maya Dela Cruz, Theresa Santos and Ernesto Espiritu.

Maya has brought freshly picked fruit, Theresa has brought finely sown silk shawls and Ernesto brought cooked food, still warm from tender cooking to celebrate the fiesta week and to thank Maricela and her family for the kindness they have shown for the past decades. Maricela is grateful for the gifts but seeing the innocent children living a great life without knowing it might collapse should she fail, her heart sinks to depths too far down for light to reach it. She sends them off with gratitude and quickly meets up with with her friends.

Upon arriving, Maria Clara, Crisostomo and Enrique chat lightly amongst themselves. When Enrique catches a glimpse of her arriving, he can't take his mind off the fact that Maricela has glazed eyes.

He waits for her to join the group and he asks whats wrong almost immediately. Maria Clara and Crisostomo look at her and notice the look on her face as well. This catches her off guard.

"Ah este! I am just tired from not getting enough sleep last night. I was excited for the fiesta to start."

Enrique looks quizzically at her until Crisostomo speaks.

"Maricela, make sure to drink lots of water. I'm sure it will help you sleep better."

Maricela thanks him for the prescription and continues with the chattering.

Enrique did not buy the excuse however.

Ang Ikalawang Araw

(The Second Day)

Maricela took the previous night's cloudburst as a sign of misfortune. Morning however was blessed with golden gleaming sunlight, but it did nothing to calm our heroine's rattled heart as she painstakingly trekked to the town hall with Enrique to finally submit her proposal. Enrique was the only one to greet her as Maria Clara and Crisostomo went to shop at the market place. He had his leather suitcase with him that carried the proposal.

They continued with Maricela covering half of her face with her fan. Enrique followed behind her, knowing full well they are in public. A group of talebearers caught sight of the two, and insantly gossip shared among the women.

"Are they making their way to the town hall?"

"Who is the gentlemen following behind her?"

"Is he a bachelor? Such a refined mestizo that man!"

"From what I have heard, A new lawyer and Crisostomo's collegue"

"That man is at a loss, why would he take an impossible case as a first job?"

"A waste of time and resources that hellspawn the now departed possessor of the San Augustus conglomerate decided to keep around"

"How awful to make a man work aimlessly. Making the life of the man harder!"

"Desperada!"

Pondering how deafness would be a blessing in disguise at thay moment, Maricela could only sink her face further into the fan, the words playing again and again in her mind.

"Desperada?"

Enrique relayed back to the women having spun around, his mere status alone in the situation socially communicating for the group to challenge his look. They could only hide behind their fans and continue to gossip.

They arrived at the town hall and Maricela requested to wait outside. Enrique went in by himself and passed the proposal. The man at the reception looked at him questioningly, Enrique merely responding with an impatient look until the man finally placed the proposal in a neatly propped paper stack that will be passed to the mayor.

Enrique made his way out to find Maricela pacing until she saw Enrique come out of the office. She stopped and was about to approach him until a fast calesa zoomed past her, the wheels splashing her with sewage water. She tried to stumble back in shock but ended up leaning against a rickety food stall that flipped at her weight. The food went flying and landed everywhere on her. Her hand was bleeding with cuts and splinters from the stall.

The degrading sight of a woman sullied by the poor cleanliness of the community brought out only cackles and whispered affronts. The vendor of the food stall was outraged and started yelling at her to pay for the damages or she will tell the guardia civil to arrest her.

Enrique quickly put himself between the vendor and Maricela and told her he will be the one to pay for the damages. He handed the lady money from his suitcase and the vendor went on with her day contented.

He then helped the poor girl up, who was shaking from everything that had happened. Her face trained well to remain stoic but her tear ducts betrayed her, shedding enough droplets to let her eyes twinkle under the golden gleams of sunlight. Enrique quickly brought her to the side and removed the splinters from her hand. He cleaned her cuts and guided her to the market place.

They came to a humble tailor, looking for new garments among the designer clothing. Enrique chose a matching blue tapis and saya and paid for it. Maricela's eyes widened as he handed her the clothes and told her to change.

A few moments later she's changed and fresh, just having gotten out of an inn that Maricela compensated excessively, but her expression is still gloomy. They both walk out and Enrique thinks of a way to lighten her mood. An ensemble playing jovial music and a few street dancers dancing with ribbons livening an enitre crowd thickened, rather conveniently, so Enrique brings Maricela to watch. The crowd cheers on but Maricela is still emotionless. Enrique sighs and tries to leave to find something better when the street dancers come towards the both of them and drag them to the middle

"Ladies and Gentlemen! We now present the lucky two who will dance one round!" They passed their maracas adorned with ribbons to the two and the ensemble prepares their next piece.

Maricela gives a mortified face while Enrique smiles confused.

"I c-can't dance..."

Maricela lets out as the music starts.

They follow the street dancers and at first the music was calm and the two of them were surprisingly doing well with Maricela grinning little by little until the music suddenly changed to a fast speed and the street dancers were twirling and changing positions. Maricela started to lose composure until Enrique called her name.

She carefully followed his steps and it seemed that she was dancing proffesionally. In between spins and cycles of dance steps, Maricela could have sworn to have seen a familiar face next to the would be band leader smiling genuinely right at her. She started laughing and smiling and before she knew it the segment ended.

The street dancers thanked them for their participation and they both left with a smile.

Ang Ikatlong Araw

(The Third Day)

Maricela finds herself at a new spot she's frequented. Not the homes of the people on her properties, not the church she now prays to for the approval of her proposal. But at a quiet and cleaner community where her parents now lay resting.

Dead.

They were buried with memories of an unresolved argument. Their deaths couldn't have been more... inconvenient. Maricela remembers how she snapped and shot back at them, refusing to be married off so the San Augustus fortune may be passed to an inheritor chosen by her parents. She clearly recalls how she ended their final argument, shouting.

"Sana 'di na kayo bumalik!"

The process of the arranged marriage was going to be started the moment that Maricela's parents came back home from their business trip. They left the day Maricela uttered those words. Left for their business trip, and left this world leaving Maricela scrambling to secure what they couldn't bring with them.

"I wish you never come back."

She thinks a second time. Remembering those words and how empty they really were the moment they slipped out. Whoever granted that wish clearly couldn't understand. Coping with their deaths has brought out great anguish, as expected. So Maricela had them burried in this peaceful community further out from the toxicity of the town's hustle and bustle. She asked for comfort but what she really needed was to act fast, just like how she was told. Word has already got out that a large fortune is legally waiting to be claimed, many has been stammering to attain it.

Breathing in, Maricela scans the cemetary. Noticing graves of wooden crosses and tombs craved from stone. The former signifying a poor man's burial and the latter for those higher in social standings.

"Nice to see none of that matters around here." Maricela comments to herself. Did all cemetaries house the departed's graves of different backgrounds?

"I think it adds to the beauty of this resting place."

Maricela then turns to find, Enrique?

"Did you... have business here too?" Did Enrique have someone special to pay respects too? Why was he holding sampaguita garlands?

"Oh these are for you. To give to who you're here for." Enrique says handing the flowers.

"They're beautiful, thank you. But how did you know I was going to be here?" Seemed quite supspicious for him to know something quite personal.

"I-I asked around at that church. The one where we first met and I happened to actually find someone who knew you. Well apparently. They even knew I was helping you in your case." Enrique replies, assuring that he hadn't been following her.

"Oh, that's alright then. I think I have a pretty good idea of who told you." Surely it had to be Crisanto. Maricela thinks to herself.

"Did you have something to do that involves me, Enrique?"

"I wanted to check on you after yesterday's...events." Was that the right word? The first thing that came to mind was disaster but was it really?

"But I hadn't thought I would intruding on something like this. Hence the sampaguita." He says pointing at the garlands.

"Right, I should put them on then." Enrique stepped forward and offered a hand to show he wanted to help. Since he did bring the pure as white blooms, she figured she should let him. They crouched just low enough to decorate the stone graves of the San Augustus with the flowers. Their fragrance seemed to smell sweeter after.

They only stood there when the pair were done. Their silence made comfortable with the sounds of rustling leaves and shaking tree branches in the wind. Enrique tries to read Maricela's expression. She didn't seem upset but in deep thought. Looks like she still has plenty to reflect on. He decided to risk it.

"I'm sorry for your early loss, I genuinely hope you've been coping with as much support as needed"

"...You speak with experience?" Maricela breaches.

Enrique nodded, looking up towards the sky as if it held the words he was looking for. "My father was taken from me and my mother too early. The doctors say it was most likely by a heart attack...though it happened too fast infront of us. One second he was gasping in pain while clutching his chest...the next he was gone. Just like that. I was only 14 when that happened and what followed after was a mere blur in my life."

The blur he didn't want to remember vividly. The funeral, his mother grieving, and the years spent in isolation studying.

Maricela looked at Enrique, who was now staring down at the ground.

"I am...truly sorry for what has happened to your father..." Maricela slowly placed her hand on the lawyer's shoulder. Her touch snapped him out of his haze and he slowly lifted his head to meet her gaze.

"If I may...what took your parents away too soon?" Enrique asked lightly.

"It-" 'It was my fault' she truly thought.

"It...happened unexpectedly as well. They were on a business trip and along the way...they were ambushed by tulisanes...the guardia civil found them a day later. I received the news after the day they were founded..."

Enrique's eyes widened. He did not expect such grotesque deaths. He noticed the dates carved into the cold stone, both of them died on the same day. The lawyer thought it was more subtle than an assassination. Perhaps a disease or a fire. Anything but an ambush.

"I had no idea...I shouldn't have asked-"

"Oh it's alright señor," Maricela tried to smile. "It was something I had to accept..."

Enrique stayed silent. Maricela spoke up after a few minutes of quiet contemplation.

"Seems as though grief is what binds Filipinos together these days." Maricela eyebrows curved and drew closer to her eyes to show concern, despite how she initially came to the cemetary to wallow in her own grief.

"Bonding over what you would give condolences too, because somehow we can set it all aside to hear each other out."

"In our case it seems it's because we didn't have the leisure to mourn. Deprived of voicing what we want say and longing for what we want to be said to us. " Maricela shrugs.

"Well I should say my father's death wasn't as recent as your parents. But it was untimely too. My education wasn't going to wait for me to find comfort in something, and your proposal brought up from your parents' departure must have forced you to stop entertaining the same sentiment. So I suppose I'm... just reaching out to you as someone to... mutually find solace in... should anything still be unresolved, because someone like you... deserves as much" Being a lawyer Enriques' sure to be excellent in oral communication, but in that instance he faltered, at least from his usually firm and assuring tone.

"It... wasn't the most elegant of consulations. But somehow it felt like the most genuine anyone has been with me"

Her hands clasped together and a soft smile on her face were details that shouted a thanks she's been meaning to say and mean.

Ang Ika-apat na Araw

(The Fourth Day)

The return home was comfortingly silent for Maricela and Enrique after spending the fourth day of the fiesta together with Maria Clara and Crisostomo, or it was at least devoid of articulating any more bottled and unresolved heartstrings to proverbially pull and drag like a rag doll. They aired out enough of how abruptly destitute they were of their parents, confiding in each other to find the comforting finality. Disclosure to now feel closure.

The clopping of the horses' hooves and the colliding of the wheels with stray stones on the road filled in for the absence of chatter. The kalesa is ever so closely reaching Maricela's residence. It felt clingy for Enrique to "walk" Maricela home when he offered, but nonetheless here they were "walking" home this late into the night. Now that remembering that it was late, it made sense for him to have offered.

Enrique opened the door for Maricela when they stopped, the driver not leaving yet as he still needed to take Enrique back to Crisostomo's home. The pair walked closer to the San Augustus estate, and briefly resting on intricately carved benches before lighting any lanterns. The moon makes whatever attempt to illuminate the mansion, but Enrique finds himself appreciating the soft glow as the two lounge outside for a while.

"Your home is quite surreal under the weak moonlight, how much more under an actual full moon?"

A little thing to ponder over, but thinking it over it gives Maricela one more thing to repeatedly appreciate once she wins her case. The moon will shine luminously every month on HER home.

"Together, I'm sure we'll be able to ensure you may gaze on it under a bright moon whenever."

Funny how "together" will mean so much more in the end. Unknown by these two now of course.

"Together?" Enrique asks.

"Of course, or rather I hope you think of us doing this together." Maricela replies

"Pardon? O-of course I do, why would I think otherwise?" Where was this coming from all of a sudden? Enrique thinks.

"Because it always felt like our exchange has been one-sided. That I always need assurance from you for everything I seem to unload on you?" Maricela replies, her tone saddening at near the end of saying it.

"There are still notable people who I can be thankful to, less by 2 now... but nonetheless, and you've become the one I am most appreciative of. But I just can't seem to return the favor." Reclining lower on the bench she occupied, Maricela says so guiltily.

"Then what was yesterday?" Enrique only hears a questioning "hmm".

"I found comfort in you as you did to me at the cemetery right? Doesn't seem like I've shared that part of me to anyone, no?"

"I suppose not." Maricela smiles a bit. Maybe she could deepen that exchange further. "What was your father like?" She asks.

A reasonable pause passed for him to properly summarize his father.

"I like to think ideally he was far too ahead of his time, and that hopefully enough that what he was has been passed on to me." He answered quite happily.

"What do you mean?"

Another pause, ended by him saying that his father had a very rare perspective of progressiveness.

"Barriers exist between us Indios and the Spaniards but he always seemed to see pass that. He married the woman he wanted, a full blooded Indio, and from an early age he mentioned how I could do the same with his blessing. From that I figured he would never have had me engaged to anyone. So here I am left to choose who I suppose."

"I see, he was quite the man indeed." How Maricela wished it was like that for her before. "Had you ever entertained the thought of having that freedom before?"

"No, there was always something apparently. Have you?" Enrique replies.

"I like to think I would have, but another day I'll share the first time me and another mutually agreed that we mean to each other not as spouses." Maricela attempts to jest. They're opposites in that regard, the ability to choose their own partner, but both ended up as now having that choice be put aside. Enrique has seemed to distract himself all his life to avoid that part of adulthood, and Maricela has spent most of hers resisting her parents than actually socializing and paying attention to who she's interested in.

"Haha, seems like quite story. But really, has there ever been anyone you've been genuinely interested in?"

As each passing meeting with each other, Maricela's idea of an ideal man seems to shift, referring to her lawy-

"Some, but only one as of late." She's thankful she's said it so inconspicuously.

"Well I bid you and them the best of luck." Enrique then stands excusing himself to not keep the coachman any longer, and they exchange goodbyes under a brighter natural light from the sky.

[timegal25]

The Odd Side of Youtube

     YouTube, the popular video sharing website, has been around for over a decade. It’s had it’s over abundance of videos themed around Fortnite, “emotional apology videos” stuffed to the brim with ad revenue, a disturbingly high number of poorly animated nursery rhymes, and surprisingly graphic skits targeted at kids. But it’s also been an outlet for creative expression and connection for those outside the mainstream. For a socially awkward and isolated kid who found companionship in watching YouTube, fandom videos offered a sense of connection, belonging and reassurance that there were “odd people” out there who shared his interests and passions.

While the vast majority of people know about things like “Gangnam Style” and “Let’s Plays,” not as many can say they have extensive knowledge of the various niche fandom videos that make up a good portion of the website itself. These are the odd clips that either you only come across by looking up directly, or have randomly pop up in your recommended feed with no real reason as to why.  In my case, I remember a majority of these from watching them when I was younger, and then rediscovering them when looking deep into the site on late night nostalgia binges. It’s  a common hobby of mine, and it usually leads to me finding some of the strangest things as a result. Oddly, a great many of these strange finds just so happen to include Sonic the Hedgehog.

Let me preface this by saying what follows is in no way an attack on any of the creators of these videos, nor is it a call for others to go out and harass them. In fact, that’s part of the point. Many of the people who create some of the more odd or innovative content on YouTube are doing it as creative expression of who they are or what interests them. It’s a place to express a part of themselves, and it takes courage to do it. It’s easy for those who aren’t so brave to attack the creators.  I actually enjoy a lot of the content I’ll be referring to because the people behind it are genuine and clearly having a ton of fun making it. This is all done in good fun, and shows just how strange and odd fandom culture as a whole can be. And for some of these innovators who dared to put themselves out there, it paid off big time just by how fondly remembered they are by those who talk about them. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s begin.

Part One: Hedgehogs and Dragon Balls

To start things off, let’s look at a project that is fully animated. Before YouTube, there was the popular website Newgrounds, a place where you could watch videos, play games, and just mess around. This is where a lot of influential and important creators got their start by posting their little animations on the site. On August 14, 2006, user Chakra-X (real name Aaron Cowdery), posted the first part in a three-part movie called Sonic: Nazo Unleashed with part two coming a week later and part three following in 2007. All three parts were later uploaded all into one HD remaster under the title of Sonic: Nazo Unleashed DX on YouTube in 2014. The film follows Sonic and his friends as they take on the mysterious and powerful Nazo, an unused form of Sonic from a promotional video for the anime Sonic X.

Now what makes this special from say the dozens of Sonic themed fanfics that follow a somewhat similar premise? Chakra-X did something no one had dared to do before. The animation was very heavily inspired by the anime megahit Dragon Ball Z and its then airing sequel Dragon Ball GT . The sound effects used and the presentation of special moves were ripped right from the series and even parts from the climax are just ideas presented in the show such as two characters fusing to make one new powerful being. In 2006, it was unheard of to see Sonic characters perform such high speed anime action. What was even more notable is that it was created by one single guy on the internet.  The professionally produced Sonic X TV show that was airing at that time paled by comparison, even with a team of professional animators with high tech equipment.

In the decade since Nazo Unleashed originally came out, Chakra-X has been a part of various animated collabs and now works for Titmouse Inc , an animation company that has done work for companies like Warner Bros., Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network, and even Disney. What was even more inspiring for me, Chakra-X is a young black man . This was the first I’d become aware of anyone who looked like me being a much sought after animator. It told me that I could be him, I could be in his position if I put in as much effort and love into a creative project. And with how amazing the upcoming sequel he’s working on looks, I feel that kind of hopeful inspiration even more.

The next piece I’m going to examine is another well known series in the Sonic fandom community that also is heavily influenced by Dragon Ball Z. While it is also animated and is full of high speed action packed fights, this one has its own amazing identity. The series I’m talking about is the always spectacular Super Mario Bros. Z by Mark Haynes, aka Alvin Earthworm, starting in 2006 and going until 2009. While this series was originally created on Newgrounds, it’s real exposure and popularity came from being uploaded to YouTube.

The series follows Mario, Sonic and friends as they go on an epic race against time to secure the powerful chaos emeralds from the clutches of the evil Mecha Sonic. Much like Nazo Unleashed, the influence of Dragon Ball Z series is anything but subtle, with the plot of “good guys need to find powerful objects before bad guys” being one of the key ways to describe Dragon Ball as a whole. One of the key things that makes this stand out on its own is the fact that this entire series is animated using sprites from the games. Just about every character that wasn’t made specifically for the series has their models taken right from their games. Mario and Luigi for example come from the Mario and Luigi role playing game (rpg) series on the Gameboy Advance (GBA), while the Sonic and Shadow sprites come from Sonic Battle also on the GBA. An extra step is taken by having the characters act like they do in their retrospective series. Mario and Luigi never actually use dialogue boxes in their games, with other characters still understanding them. The same is true here with the brothers’ words never actually being seen on screen. Going that extra step to emulate the games made the videos feel more authentic.

I was relatively young and new to the internet when Super Mario Brothers Z  (SMBZ) started popping up. I wasn’t fully aware of what sprite animations were, as they weren’t as easy to make or common back then as they are now, so I would see all the action and Sonic and Mario on screen together and I thought that it was an actual game. I wanted to play it so badly on my Gameboy Advance SP. On one trip to a Gamestop, my young self boldly walked up to the lady working the register and asked “Hey, do you have Super Mario Bros Z ?” She gave me this look that said either she knew exactly what I was talking about or didn’t have a single clue at all and just nicely said that they didn’t. I went on to repeat this at several more gaming stores before I realized that it wasn’t a real game, nor did it ever claim to be. It was then that I started looking for games I wanted myself because sometimes just saying a title out loud can make you look like the strangest person around.

What made the SMBZ series so attractive and so entirely different from anything found on YouTube at the time was the animated action. You might think  that since the series is using pre-made assets and models, that there must be some limitations on what can be done. However, with a bit of help from some custom new sprites as well as some fast editing and sound effects, things can get insane . Being able to translate the speed and intensity of a Dragon Ball Z fight is hard enough to copy with regular animation, yet Mark was able to do this with 2 dimensional sprites and flashing lights. And even that pales in comparison to the pure adrenaline of fights concerning the series main antagonist, Mecha-Sonic.

Originally starting off as a mostly side boss in Sonic and Knuckles , Mecha Sonic became a fan favorite thanks to this series. Like any good antagonist, he can easily prove himself as a threat to the heroes while also being able to take the hits himself. This comes across easily in the series most popular episode, Brawl on a Vanishing Island . This 30 minute episode has a variety of characters going up against each other, but the mood quickly turns the second Mecha Sonic arrives and absorbs the power of the Chaos Emeralds. What follows is an absolutely brutal beatdown of another team of antagonists, the Axem Rangers X. The speed, the sound effects, alongside an amazing remix of Sonic and Knuckles’ Doomsday Zone playing in the background, this is a simply amazing bit of animation that can’t really be put into words without it sounding absolutely ridiculous. And much like with Nazo Unleashed, so much of this was done by just one guy.

After episode 8 in 2009, things basically ended on a cliffhanger with the series being presumed over. Haynes had his own life and things to deal with, and something that took up so much time to make could be easily seen as poor use of it. In the years following, many others tried their hand at sprite animations with heavy action scenes with that becoming its very own subgenre on YouTube. Then, in 2016, Mark made a glorious return with the first episode of what was basically a reboot of the series. Fans loved it, amazed to see how far things had come. And then..there was basically nothing else. Originally, Haynes had a Patreon set up so that fans could fund him making this as well as possibly being a way for him to make this his job. It was shut down, most likely due to him directly saying it was going towards the series and Nintendo seeing it as someone else profiting off their IP. With any funding that could go towards rewarding all this time and effort being taken away, as well as Haynes having more important personal things and depression, it is unlikely that we’ll see an update anytime soon. It’s been three years since the first episode went up on YouTube, and while I still hope someday he’ll return, but as someone who knows that forcing yourself to make something others want even if you don’t want to is like, the personal happiness and health of Mark Haynes is so much more important.  He’s already left an amazing legacy on the net, and the stuff he’s given us is already great enough as is.

And now to go from flash animation, to sprite animation, we’re reaching the next logical step. Out of all the series discussed in this part, this one is my absolute favorite. And it is one of the weirdest things out there. Another crossover series featuring the world of Mario and Sonic, alongside a few notable others. One that’s full of action and character, and it’s all animated in PowerPoint (no, I’m not kidding), this is Chocobro Cinemas’ The “Dimension” Saga. Strap in, things are gonna get really, really weird.

The series started in 2007, with Dimension Mix-Up as it followed various characters from Super Mario Bros, Sonic the Hedgehog, Frogger, Invader Zim, and Calvin and Hobbes. That was all 100 percent serious, and to the credit of both this and Super Mario Bros Z, there is a feeling of self-awareness running throughout the whole series. I unironically love this entire series from start to finish, mostly just due to the fact that there’s so much creativity and love being put into something that most people would just brush aside as another cheap fanfiction. When I originally found this back in 2007, it was like the most amazing thing ever. The computer I had at the time took forever to not only load flash animations, but even playing them took like 5 years for just a few seconds. I hadn’t really known what Newgrounds was fully back then either, so Super Mario Bros Z also wasn’t something I watched at the time, and I came across this. An action filled adventure that had characters not only from Sonic and Mario, but also Invader Zim which was still super huge at time, and Calvin and Hobbes?! To a megafan of all those things who would actually spend their time on Fanfiction.net reading stories about this stuff (Yes, even Calvin and Hobbes), this was like the holy grail. Also Frogger was there, so...that was cool?

This story should not work, these characters all being together on screen expecting viewers to care for them all should not work, this idea of using powerpoint back in 2007 to simulate animation of any kind should not work. Yet somehow...it does. Even with the fact that this is clearly just a camera recording a screen at this point, there’s something rather entertaining about it all. And the action isn’t half bad for something made with a tool that clearly was never meant to be used in this way. It can actually be creative with how some fight scenes are done. The whole of episode 6 is able to show off a giant robot boss battle with some pretty decent speed, while episode 8 can trick viewers with its looping backgrounds. The best part of this comes just from watching how not only does the quality of the video improve over time, but so does the writing and the story. Dimension Takeover and Dimension Obliteration are amazing and admittedly addicting watches that have the same level of love and care put into them as the previous two series discussed in this. Giving the fans such high quality action and adventures while also doing a really great job of making all the interactions feel like they’re from their source material. Well, at least as close and one can get when you have a hedgehog talking to an imaginary tiger and a group of cartoon frogs. I can’t say thank you enough times to the people who’ve made all their series, as my love of writing stories based on my own favorite series probably wouldn’t be as strong today. And hey, one can surprisingly do a good job with powerpoint. At least it wasn’t just a slide show.

Part Two: These literally are just slide shows!

Sticking to the topic of Sonic, he seems to be a super popular subject for crossovers. Besides Mario, he and his friends have appeared in both official and nonofficial meetups with all kinds of pop culture favorites. The one series that seems to dominate the realm of Sonic crossovers online is My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic . The series itself has had quite the impressive run of nine years, with its final episodes airing this year. What probably would have been seen as just another cheap product placement by the majority of people if it hadn’t been for the rather large audience of grown up fans that for a time basically ruled the internet. While in the later years the fan base has shrunk as all fandoms do, there are still those that happily enjoy watching cartoon ponies and doing various things related to them online, myself included.  

Now how does a super fast and cocky blue hedgehog that saves the day from an evil egg shaped man and his army of robots have any kind of connection to a cartoon about six colorful and talented ponies as they go through their lives learning about and solving problems with the power of friendship? Well, both are series that have similar characters with Sonic and Rainbow Dash both being blue,fast, and cocky. Both series deal with giant world ending disasters by using powerful gems and the power of teamwork. And both believe in the real power of friendship. So, yeah. There’s bound to be a ton of fan series based on seeing these two worlds meet up. And hoo boy, Youtube sure seems to love hosting a ton of them.

The common theme in all the Sonic/My Little Pony Crossovers in this part is that they’re all going to be slideshows. There might be a few clips from the shows or games, maybe a piece of fanart or two, but 99 percent of the stuff in these videos is just going to be static text. Let’s start with the...highest quality one of the three brought up in this part, Sonic X Equestria by Speedstar Productions . The plot is nothing new. Eggman shows up to wreak havoc and Sonic must team up with the cast of My Little Pony, or Mane Six as they’re called, to help stop him. When I said most of these are just slideshows... I wasn’t kidding. The entire series will go from random screen cap to random promotional images, with text overlaid on the bottom. There is no original voice acting either, with the only voices that occasionally can be heard coming from the clips or sound bytes. There is no promised sense of consistency either, as photos of the characters can be pulled from different seasons, games, comics and shows all together. In this, Sonic is supposed to have his normal modern look but some screenshots are from Sonic Boom which is a show with different designs. Another example of this comes from shots of Twilight Sparkle. This show takes place in the My Little Pony world after Twilight becomes the princess of friendship and gets her own wings. Even shots from the first episode will use photos of her without them. It’s never actually a thing that matters to the show, as it acts like everything is on model, and that we can perfectly see everything that’s going on.

Another thing that this and many others like it seem to have in common is the idea that Sonic is the one doing all the work, while all the ponies just kinda...watch in the background. Sure, Twilight will pitch in with her magic every once in a while, but if Sonic’s taking on Eggman? He’s mostly going in solo. Sure, these ponies have easily taken on things like chaos incarnate, and powerful tyrants with black magic. But a man in a giant robot suit? Too unpredictable . Sure, one could argue that it’s because the mech being used in the fight only has images of Sonic fighting it...but in a later episode , the girls join in a fight that’s entirely animated! I shouldn’t be mad about this, yet I am!

Though..despite the rant, I still find myself enjoying watching this series. I can’t fully explain if it’s ironic or if it’s unironic. Maybe it comes from the fact that everyone still acts in character to their on-screen counter parts, leading to interactions that fans wanted to see. We want to see the ponies talk to Sonic characters, and help take down Eggman. The use of actual pictures from the shows and games helps too, making us help visualize it as if it were an actual episode.  Maybe it comes from the fact that it feels like something I would watch in the early days of Youtube. The kinda low effort yet also decent attempt of trying to make events appear coherent in some way, even if the images shown aren’t the most in continuity. Though, episode 11 is literally the Shadic vs Nazo fight from Nazo Unleashed. Those things aside...this is still kind of a guilty pleasure watch that I’ll binge from time to time.

Sometime last year, I was looking up Nazo Unleashed videos late one night, due to that time bringing out a large sense of nostalgia for days gone. As I was looking, I saw a thumbnail that stuck out to me. Or rather...a title that stuck out to me, as well as a runtime that had my interest set to max.

The Adventures of Sonic in Equestria Nazo Unleashed The Movie HD , by Adam Selvig, is a title that feels like it should be one of those videos that promises an upload of a current movie in HD that only links to scam sites that will give your computer a virus. It isn’t that. This is a slideshow that’s the length of a movie. College lectures aren’t this long. The best way to describe this one is that Sonic and the ponies must come together to defeat Nazo as well Tempest Shadow, a character from the My Little Pony movie. Also, Sonic and Rainbow Dash have a daughter called Sondash, which is literally just art of a child Rainbow Dash. This series is weird. Another strange thing is that a lot of the channels posting Sonic / My Little Pony stuff in series like this...usually have around 1K subs. That’s nothing to any major Youtuber, but the idea that even just one thousand people subscribe to watch this stuff as soon as it comes out..is just mind blowing.

This film is part of a series, one that started all the way back in January of 2018. The playlist for this thing says that the series as of March 4th, 2019...is 103 videos long?! And with seemingly all of them in the 20 minute range...the question becomes, how long has Selvig been working on this thing, and does he have others help him with it? And again...why is it always Sonic that seems to be doing everything around here? Are the ponies just lazy now that an outsider is here?

The odd thing is that there are so many Sonic/My Little Pony crossover videos on Youtube, but when looked into, so many of them are the exact same content. Stills and transparent photos with clear backgrounds with text overlaid. And so many are able to get these creators at least a few hundred subscribers. In a surprisingly deep sea of similar executions, are there any left that stand out above the rest? Good news, there is at least one series that goes in another direction. In more mixed news, well…

This is Harmony and Chaos by Michael Evans. While originally popping up as text on gradient background sometime in 2017, the whole series is now being voiced over by its creator. That’s all this is. Text on a background while one man narrates over it in various voices. And for the most part, there isn’t much there at all in terms of action. Now, I’m only nine episodes in this seemingly sixty plus episode run with multiple seasons series, so I might be wrong. The main focus of this series is romance, and boy is there a lot of it. If there’s a male character from Sonic and a female character from My Little Pony that interact a lot in this thing, there’s a pretty good chance they’ll end up smooching somewhere on down the line. This sounds exactly like what many seem to see fan bases as general as, writing overly long amounts of fan fiction that are also chock to the brim with romance and needless drama. In this series, Rainbow Dash is getting a divorce from her husband who she thought was cheating on her, when really he only made it seem that way so that she wouldn’t have to know that he was dying from a deadly disease. It’s a move right out of the soap opera playbook.

Despite all of this, I find myself coming back to all of these series and watching them in huge chunks. It comes from a sense of odd curiosity on how the story is going to play out.  It also helps that the people behind this stuff seem like just genuinely nice people that want to post their creations online and share it with the world. It’s just that the stuff they make is really weird, not bad, just strange. And even then, it’s not the most strangest thing on the net that’s out there.

Part Three: Big Adventures, Bigger Casts

The best way to start this final part was with an image. An image that perfectly tells someone everything they need to know, as well as absolutely nothing at all. Welcome to Pooh’s Adventures , a seemingly endless number of movies and tv shows that are “edited” to include characters from Winnie the Pooh, My Little Pony, Transformers, Thomas the Tank Engine and so, so many more. I put edited in quotes because really, does this count as editing in any way, shape or form? To give a basic plot outline of just about every single Pooh’s/Thomas’/Insert Character name here’s adventure, large group of characters are inserted into popular movie or show, where they help the main character of said movie or show against the antagonist who is now usually joined by other villains from various forms of media. Rinse and Repeat for every movie ever with vague hints of events from previous adventures running into this one.  Take any movie, and there’s a good chance there’s at least the idea for a Pooh’s Adventures on it. Like for example Winnie The Pooh vs. Jaws , which while not a real movie as of this writing does have a devoted page on the fan wiki . And it seems to promise quite the cast of characters.

It can actually be somewhat hard in trying to find some of these, due to the fact that they’re just full movies with other copyrighted clips put in at random intervals. Those that are still up on Youtube seem to be the ones that use the most obscure of movies as their source . And just like with the Sonic/Mlp stuff, all of these channels seem to have at least a few thousand subscribers thanks to it. Of all the adventures that still remain on Youtube, Winnie the Pooh Goes to Hotel Mario / Pooh’s Adventures of Batman Forever is the one I’m most proud still remains. There is no connection between the two, besides the fact that both Hotel Mario and Batman Forever are both seen as surreal experiences that have very little connections to their source and are enjoyed in a “so bad it’s good” way.

There are still ways to find both older and newer uploads of the various adventures online. Many of the members will just upload their older stuff to Google Drive or Dropbox , and more recently, a lot of uploads are being moved to Pandora.tv, a mostly Korean based website where they can run ads on the video.

The wiki for this fandom is massive, with there being over thirty five thousand articles as of the time of this being written, with new ones being added or updated seemingly every few minutes. Most fantasy wikis can’t reach numbers that high! Though, most of the pages on it are bare-bones with only a single line or two for a ton of characters while others are pages clearly ripped right from other fandom wikis. There’s also ideas for series that are just the title and then nothing else, along with transcripts and posters put next to dozens of dead or empty links. For a site that seems so bloated and full, it’s actually pretty empty and hollow upon closer look.

I wanted to share all of this because so much of this resonates with me in some way, even Pooh’s Adventures , since I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought up crossovers with insanely large casts that really should have nothing to do with each other.I guess in a way...I saw these all as the things I wanted to make but never knew how to. I’ve always wanted to animate, to tell my stories with these characters that I know and love to as many people as possible, to hear their feedback on all of it. That’s why I got so passionate talking about all certain moments or episodes, it’s all the things I would do! They’re people just like me, and that’s why I wish Mark Haynes the best in his life, why I’ll say the guys who work on the Sonic and My Little Pony  seem like nice people. That’s why I’ll be so amazed by someone having a thousand subs or more. I see myself in these creations and the experiences of their creators. The pains of depression, the joy of seeing how their work has influenced others, the effort and care put into these things. I want to see them succeed and be supported, because that shows me that I can succeed too.  

[sunshineandfangs]

Compassion

Step 10: Holiday Volunteering (Very little actual volunteering)

@howeverlongs and @joey-prue

Warnings: misunderstandings, one-sided pining, (overuse of) royals in disguise trope

Also, special thanks to Luiza who gave me the basic premise for this drabble.

HRH Caroline of the Forbes Kingdom of Mardenia heaved a tired sigh. The paparazzi would surely have had a field day had they been there to catch her without her normal sunny deposition. Thankfully, they were not.

Stepping away from the window, the blonde collapsed backward onto her bed, staring at the ceiling with arms sprawled across her duvet. She huffed a breath to blow a rogue strand of hair from her face and contemplated, not for the first time, how her life would have gone had she been an ordinary citizen.

People tended to forget in the modern era that being a royal could be surprisingly trying. True, Caroline would never know what it was like to go without food or water, she had servants to clean and cook, and more money than she could ever personally spend. However, the public felt entitled to know every detail of her life from what she had for breakfast to her deepest secrets. And unlike most people, Caroline was one day expected to run a country, become a figure of power that could single-handedly start a war with one mistake.

So, trying as she said, to say the least.

However, (and perhaps it was a bit childish and petty of her) Caroline’s current source of woe was her fiancé. The one she had been betrothed to from birth. Frankly, it was one of the more anachronistic things about Mardenia, the fact that arranged political marriages were the norm not the exception.

See, the Founding Five came to Mardenia in the 1500s: The Fells, Forbes, Gilberts, Lockwoods, and Salvatores. Each decided to embrace the whole veni, vidi, vici idea and subjugated the various natives in order to establish their own dynasties. Now, for the most part, Caroline had no qualms with any of the other four Founding Kingdoms, and she would be largely content with her lot in life if it weren’t for one little wrench in the cogs of her life.

Just over two decades ago, the Salvatores grew power hungry and made a play at imperialism, taking first the Fells then the Lockwoods. They had been closing in on the Forbes and the Gilberts and, with the Salvatores’ surprising victories against the Fells and Lockwoods, both were vastly outmatched. This was when King William, her father, entreated them for help.

The Mikaelsons.

Despite the lofty title, the Founding Five never actually founded anything per se. The Mikaelsons were the true Original Kingdom of Mardenia, able to trace their line with certainty back to the early 900s with rumors that claimed even earlier ancestors. Regardless, the Mikaelsons were the smallest, but most powerful of the Kingdoms, and with their help, King William successfully beat back the Salvatores, chasing them from Forbes land and then out of the Fells and Lockwoods lands as well.

With the balance of power shifted in favor of the Forbes and the seeds of a strong, lasting alliance with the Mikaelson's in place, King William made a decision that Caroline curses to this day. A few days after the Salvatores officially surrendered, her mother, Queen Elizabeth, went into labor and delivered a healthy baby girl into the world. Heir in hand, King William solidified the alliance by promising her hand to the then yougest Mikaelson, Prince Niklaus, thus elevating a third son from fourth in line to future King Consort.

Everyone went away happy.

Except for her, goddamnit!

Fed up with her wallowing, Caroline launched herself from her bed. Right, she wasn’t going to let this ruin her day!

“I beg your pardon?!” Caroline internally winced at the frequency her voice raised to at the end, thanking god that only she and her father were in the room. Although the look he leveled at her could peel paint. She cleared her throat. “I mean, I think I may have misheard you, could you repeat that for me, please?”

“Prince Niklaus has just returned from his trip and thought it would be a good time for you two to finally meet. I agreed.”

Caroline took a deep breath. “I see. Is now really a good time, though? This week is back to back charity events and volunteer work.”

Her father actually looked amused at her suffering. “Well, I told him that actually. He said he wouldn’t mind helping out.”

Teeth grinding, smile painfully wide, Caroline bit out, “Well, how gracious of him. But I really do have to get going now. I’ll see you tonight.”

Rushing out, Caroline admitted that was a childish display to herself, but she couldn’t help it. It seemed petty of her to already have such a negative opinion of the man, especially considering his public persona was relatively clean. Nothing like his much wilder younger brother, Kol. However, she had heard nothing but nasty things about him from Elena which wouldn’t have been enough by itself. But despite what everyone else believed, Caroline had actually met the Prince before. It was several years ago now, but she had been covering for a friend and purposefully looked nothing like her normal self. And Prince Niklaus was a rude, condescending, asshole to her. Frankly, she had no desire to get to know him when she already knew how he would treat his supposed inferiors.

Niklaus had known he had a betrothed for a long time. He wasn’t always happy about it, especially in his early teens when he fancied himself in love with Tatia Gilbert. However, as he grew older the idea gained greater appeal. He figured they each would be mature enough to be amicable at the very least. What he hadn’t expected to happen was that he would fall in love with Caroline Forbes.

His feelings hadn’t had the most auspicious of starts, what with him still being bitter over Tatia’s rejection and deciding to take Kol’s advice of all things. ...It was a dark time.

According to Kol, the Princess was a bit stuck up which stupid, newly 17 year old Niklaus translated to “making an absolute tit of himself would surely impress her”. In hindsight, it was a very, very good thing that he never ran into her that day.

But over the years, though he had tried to meet her in an official capacity, neither of their lives aligned quite right. She was away at school, he was doing his service in the military, she was doing charity work in Africa, he was serving as an ambassador in the UK. It went on and on, so Niklaus subsisted on the stories of her, the ones from friends and even the ones in the news (though he took these with a grain of salt). All of them painted a story of a beautiful, intelligent, and kind young woman.

Then one day he met her, though she didn’t know it was him.

“So, how do I look?”

Henrik blinked. “Really odd, Nik.”

Niklaus snorted, amused. “But do I look recognizable?”

His brother tilted his head, making a show of circling him as he hummed, examining him from all angles.

“Nope,” the boy announced cheerily.

“Fantastic.”

Niklaus sat along the side of the road, hissing as he prodded at his swollen ankle. He wasn’t sure how he managed it, but his foot got caught while he was trekking through the woods, one clumsy trip and fall later and here he was. Stuck on a woodland path miles from the castle and no cell phone service. He didn’t even have a guard seeing as he had snuck out.

He cocked his head as the rhythmic thuds of what sounded like a horse reached his ears. Perhaps they could be of some assistance? Glancing down the path, he was astonished to see just who the rider was. It was Caroline, his fiancé Caroline.

He was gaping a bit when she halted her horse before him.

“Are you alright, sir?” She called down, seemingly genuine in her concern for a stranger.

Without thinking, still rather stunned by her unexpected appearance, he leapt up to greet her properly, as any non-royal would, only to yelp as he jolted his ankle and very gracefully fell on his arse.

He had reflexively closed his eyes as he fell, mortified, and was startled a second time when a warm hand fell on his shoulder. Looking up he met the concerned eyes of the Princess.

“What happened?”

Niklaus scratched his cheek with his finger, feeling awkward. “Ah,” he coughed, “It’s a bit embarrassing, but I sprained my ankle while trying to hike through the woods.”

She scolded him, “And you thought it was a good idea to jump up?”

He looked away, feeling heat creeping up his neck. “Well, you are a Princess,” he muttered.

She huffed at him. “If there were ever a time to not stand on ceremony…” Shaking her head she switched tracks. “May I have a look? I know some basic first aid, maybe I have something on me that can help.”

“If you wish, Princess,” he said slowly, a bit confused by the amount of effort she was going through for him.

With a half smile, she sat down in front of him gesturing toward his right ankle in question. He nodded. Moving to roll up his pant leg, her eyes flicked to his as she said, “You can just call me Caroline you know? I don’t mind. Especially seeing as formality somewhat got you into this mess.”

His eyes widened, though she didn’t seem to be expecting a response as her gaze returned to his ankle. A frown grew on her face as she gently prodded at the injury.

“Tell me where it hurts most.”

“There,” he hissed as her fingers pressed into the curve of his ankle, just above the start of his foot. Nodding thoughtfully, the Princess ran her fingers along the rest of his foot, circling back around and up his ankle for a second pass.

“Right, I think it’s just a sprain, but you shouldn’t be walking on it.” Looking thoughtful, she rose her eyes to meet his once more. “Lark is the closest town where you could get a professional to look at that, but that’s still a mile or so away…” She stood abruptly clapping her hands together and nodding to herself. Pivoting on her heel she strode toward her horse, rummaging in one of the saddle bags and pulling out a roll of bandages. Striding back she knelt down again, gently pulling his boot off to wrap his ankle.

“So here’s what we’re going to do,” she started, pulling the bandage wrap tight, “You’re going to ride my horse into town and avoid any further damage.”

Niklaus’ jaw fell open for the second time. Was she really this selfless?

Job done, she started to reassure him, confusing his shocked awe with concern. “Don’t worry, Mystic is really well trained.”

In demonstration, the Princess clucked her tongue calling the horse over and with a second set of clucks and a hand gesture had the horse kneeling so he could easily get on.

And that was the beginning of the end for love not being part of the equation on his end.

So here the Prince was, swallowing nervously as he stood outside the banquet hall of the Princess’ first charity of the night. Taking a breath, Niklaus strolled in to look for his fiancé. Catching a flash of blonde from the corner of his eyes, he turned tracking it across the room. It was her, a simple silver circlet in her hair.

Her voice drifted to his ears as he neared.

“Thank you for your generous donation, Lady Lockwood.” Her eyes flicked in his direction and her lips twitched. ���Could you excuse me for a moment?” The Lady Lockwood turned, catching sight of him.

With a laugh the Lady departed, “Oh no, take your time, Princess.”

The blonde marched over, crossing her arms across her chest. “So you deigned to show up, after all.”

Niklaus startled, a little hurt and taken aback by her harsh tone and surprising words. Was she so unhappy with the arrangement that a complete stranger gets more kindness than her fiancé?

Smoothing his features out, he tried to be as nonchalant as possible. “Well, you’re deigning to be here are you not, Crown Princess?”

A scowl crossed her face for a split second before she pasted an utterly fake smile on. “That’s different.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “This is what I do. The holidays are a time for giving, even the toughest misers do some good this time of year.”

He took a challenging step forward. “I’m not sure where you got this poor opinion of me, Princess, but even if you do think lowly of me then, in the name of holiday spirit, shouldn’t I be able to do some good too?”

Her smile faltered, evidently not expecting that response from him. She regarded him thoughtfully, looking a bit less hostile.

“And what good would that be?”

“You tell me, Princess.” Niklaus sketched an elegant bow, far deeper than it needed to be even if he was only a third son before an heir apparent. “I am at your disposal.”

AN: Poor Klaus :( Don’t worry they sort it out soon enough (probably). Timeline wise Klaus chased after Tatia when he was like 16 and yes, as I’m sure you guessed when he made a “tit of himself” that was when Caroline got her poor impression of him. Man, so many problems could have been solved if not for those darn royals running around in disguise. lol 

In present time, Klaus is 25 and Caroline is 24.

Also Elena was saying nasty things because she remembered Klaus chasing after her cousin, Tatia. And she is a) protective of Caroline even if she’s going about it in the wrong way and b) isn’t close enough to Klaus to actually know him. (Yeah, I know Elena’s well meaning in this. Shocking for me.)

[pinkchaosart]

In response to Mr. Prager

If you haven’t seen it, this is the video that this essay is in response to

So, obviously I disagree with this video. Let’s go through it: welcome to my ted talk.

1. Universities - First of all, let’s get this out of the way: just because one professor has an opinion about his school becoming a “laughing stock,” doesn’t mean that all education is going down the tubes. In reality, more people of colour and women are being educated than ever before. Kids are graduating high school more than ever, and education is more accessible than ever, at least according to the National Centre for Education Statistics. I don’t know if Mr. Prager has ever been to a modern, public university, but the only people that shut down vs debate are people who are not open to new ideas, who feel overwhelmed and persecuted because their opinion isn’t the only one in the school. Also, Christopher Columbus (pictured in the video as a pillar of education) was a genocidal lunatic. He murdered the Tainos people, didn’t discover America, and didn’t prove the earth was round. Go read about that.

2. The Arts - “The primary purpose of art was to elevate people.” I don’t know if there is a single time in human history when this stands true. This is a topic I’ve personally studied and so I’m going to tell you that, for most of human history, the primary purpose of art was for the rich to show off their money. Portraits were paid for by wealthy people to immortalize themselves. Selfie culture who? I also want to point out that, in the animation in the video, an example of “classic art” given is a painting by Monet, a modern artist who’s work was seen as shocking at the time due to it’s non-photorealism. The only reason we see it as beautiful now is because of time and the art prestige classifying it as such. I would also like to point out that the urinal in the next bit of the video was actually “made” around the same point in time. By no means is it something anyone would consider a current piece of art. I would also like to point out that Mr. Prager is being a hypocrite here, employing the imagery of “urine and feces” for shock value, the very thing he had just criticized. Pablo Picasso said, “What do you think an artist is? ...he is a political being, constantly aware of the heart breaking, passionate, or delightful things that happen in the world, shaping himself completely in their image. Painting is not done to decorate apartments. It is an instrument of war.” Art isn’t for beauty, it’s all politics, war, sex and money.

3. Literature - “The English department of the university of Pennsylvania replaced the portrait of the greatest English writer who ever lived, William Shakespeare, with a picture of a black lesbian poet.” Yes they did, and that poet’s name is Audre Lorde. First, William Shakespeare’s work is not prestigious. His work was not considered refined when it was produced. It’s full of lewd and ridiculous jokes. “Much ado about nothing” roughly translates to “everyone wants the pussy”. “Nothing” was slang back then for vagina. But let’s go back to Lorde. Mr. Prager said that they replaced Shakespeare with her because they value diversity over excellence. What he’s implying is that Lorde is not worth revering, despite being a very important writer of her time, five thousand times more serious than Shakespeare ever was, and her writings are much deeper than Prager gives her credit for. In fact, he gave her no credit, didn’t even say her name.

4. Late-night television - “In America, late-night shows were completely apolitical” This is completely wrong. Late night TV started in the 1940-50’s, and often they were based on politically charged comedy, just like they are now.

5. Religion - “In many churches and synagogues, one is more likely to hear the clergy talk about political issues than about any other subject, including the Bible.” First of all, I would like to point out that political issues were what Jesus mostly talked about. “Love your neighbour” was a direct comment at the racism Jews experienced and held towards others. “Turn the other cheek” was about how to make your aggressor look like a total jerk. What is the point of church if not to give people usable tools in our modern world? That’s what Jesus did. I would also like to point out that, again, this is Prager’s opinion, and it’s clear what kind of content he thinks should be taught.

6. Freedom of Speech: “Yet the whole point of free speech is that it allows people to express any political or social position, including what any one of us considers hate speech.” Except that it doesn’t. Freedom of speech is described: “everyone shall have the right to hold opinions without interference” by the International Human Rights Law, but it also states that the rights carry “special duties and responsibilities” and are “therefore ....subject to certain restrictions ... for respect of the rights or reputation of others ....or the protection of national security of public order or of public health or morals.” Freedom of speech is not absolute, and common boundaries are hate speech, food labeling, pornography, obscenity, slander, copyrights, etc. I would also like to point out that him arguing to be allowed to use hateful words is pointing out the obvious: that he hates us, ie: people that he describes in or agrees with this video.

7. Race - “America has become the least racist multiracial society in world history” ding dong, this is so unbelievably wrong. Let’s talk about “systemic racism” for a minute. This isn’t some “angry diatribe,” but a legitimate and historically accurate concern. It is a form of racism expressed in the practice of social and political institutions, reflected in disparities regarding wealth, income, criminal justice, employment, housing, health care, political power, and education, among others. It is a reality that millions of North Americans (yes, Canada’s not clean on this issue) experience daily. For example, Caucasian people and black people consume the same amount of pot on a national scale. Black people are way more likely to be arrested and receive convictions for it. In America, once you receive a criminal conviction, you are no longer able to vote. So even though equal amounts of white and black people use marijuana, black people are arrested and convicted (and therefore cannot vote) because of a system designed to take away their voice. Let’s also touch on the “red lining” from a half-century ago which allowed banks to not lend money to people of colour which created ghettos, which is now home to an overwhelmingly poor and coloured population. That’s systemic oppression and it has been going on for decades. Mr. Prager is the epitome of White Privilege. I’m as white as he is and even I can see that this man hasn’t had to question his good fortune a day in his life and instead chooses to blame others for not “working hard enough” even though they’ve worked harder than he ever has.

8. The Boy Scouts - “They’re not even the Boy Scouts anymore, they’re just the Scouts. The left forced them to admit girls” - So? “The Boy Scouts have helped shape tens of millions of boys into independent and strong good men.” Okay, so wouldn’t you want your girls to grow up strong and independent? How is adding MORE PARTICIPANTS destroying the Scouts exactly?

9. Male-Female - “In New York City, parents do not have to select male or female on a newborn’s birth certificate.” Again, so what? How is that going to affect anyone other than that family. Also, designations of gender at birth on a certificate aren’t set in stone, they can be changed later. It’s not a big deal. Allowing a child to grow up unrestricted in gender norms, won’t create confused people. Letting your boys play with dolls isn’t going to make them want to be a girl, and letting your daughter roll around in the dirt won’t make her a lesbian. Mass confusion doesn’t just happen because of an “x” on a birth certificate.

“America is only bad compared to Utopia.” No, America is bad in comparison to most other first-world countries. The only thing that America excels in is making war. It spends billions of dollars occupying other countries while its people can’t afford health care, food, education, and other basic human rights.

What i find really interesting about this video is that it is completely his opinion. There’s no facts or sources given, he’s chosen his quotes very carefully (even taken them out of context), and I have to conclude that a video like this is only meant to drive the “us vs them” mentality. At it’s best this philosophy is unhealthy, at it’s worst it can kill millions of people and has started countless wars. Mr. Prager isn’t well-educated on most of what he’s talked about. He has an undergraduate in Middle Eastern Studies. Everything else he’s studied appears to be related to orthodox religions. He hasn’t done his research, got some of the most basic ideas completely wrong, and nobody should be listening to a word he has to say on any of the topics he’s talked about in this video.

As someone who used to go to a radical church and was part of the “us vs them” mentality for a number of years, I know that my words aren’t going to change many people’s minds. But what I will say is that we have more in common than we have differences. He said he wants us to debate, so here’s a rebuttal. You can have your opinion but only if you can defend it (not using religious texts). Videos like this are just dividing our culture even more than it already is. My uncle referred to “leftists” as vultures. How awful is that? To dehumanize people so extremely is a great first step to calling for their destruction.

Just ask your German Jewish friends, Mr. Prager.

[the-apocryphal-one]

Novel Review: Uprooted by Naomi Novik

“Our Dragon doesn’t eat the girls he takes, no matter what stories they tell outside our valley. We hear them sometimes, from travelers passing through. They talk as though we were doing human sacrifice, and he were a real dragon. Of course that’s not true: he may be a wizard and immortal, but he’s still a man, and our fathers would band together and kill him if he wanted to eat one of us every ten years. He protects us against the Wood, and we’re grateful, but not that grateful.”

I’m sorry, but when you open up your book with that paragraph, intentionally invoking and subverting typical fairy tale tropes with a fun tongue-in-cheek narration...you’ve got me hooked. And if you get me hooked like that, you’d better follow through. And this book did. Hot damn it was good. I binged it in a day.

Apparently the author used to write fanfiction; it shows, because she took away all the good lessons you learn from it and left behind the bad parts. Uprooted is a stand-alone medieval fantasy with a refreshingly original tale and lovely use of fairy tale tropes and you should definitely check it out.

Summary: Once a decade, the Dragon comes and Chooses a single girl from the valley he protects as payment. Agnieszka (Nieshka for short) doesn’t worry about being taken; she worries about her beautiful, talented, perfect best friend Kasia, who everyone knows will be Chosen. But for a reason Nieshka can’t fathom, the Dragon picks her instead, and she gets sucked into a world that is dark and horrifying...but not in the ways you’d expect it to be.

Spoiler-free cliffnotes review:

- After a while, YA female protagonists start to get cookie-cutter. Nieshka is not at all cookie-cutter; she’s unique, sweet, and genuinely flawed. I never found myself irritated with her, and I kept getting prouder and prouder of her as she grew into her own.

- Likewise, YA romances tend to be cookie-cutter and feel shallow or lust-based. And don’t get me started on the love triangles. But thankfully, there are no love triangles here, and the romance is background, slow-burn emotional goodness. Bonus points for neither lead being hot; they’re actually kind of plain. Poor Nieshka especially gets called horse-faced and nothing special to look at.

- The other characters are all developed well; Kasia, the wizards at court, the royals, the antagonists, they all have their own distinct personalities and motivations. And boooooooy I love Nieshka’s friendship with Kasia, it is Good and Strong and we need more platonic relationships like that in literature.

- Worldbuilding was enticing, I was genuinely interested in the different legends and histories and songs. Downside is the world itself felt a little confusing in terms of layout; nothing that created a plot hole, but I could have used a map.

- Novik’s prose is beautiful, and especially shines when she’s creating atmosphere, but can be a bit too long at times. It definitely slowed me down while I was reading.

- She’s great at pacing and tension. The stakes start small but important, and then they grow a little larger, and then they just spiral up and up and more and more is at risk and I kept holding my breath waiting to see how the heroes would get through it this time.

...And have the spoiler version below the cut:

The Gushing:

- honestly I love Nieshka because she is just so unlike your typical YA protagonist. A lot of them are cold, brave, loner-types who don’t need help. Nieshka’s a self-admitted coward, genuinely clumsy (she’s always dirty from spilling stuff on herself and tripping), and anxious...but also a big sweetheart, idealistic, and kinda spacey. Like the Dragon took her to teach her magic, and she keeps thinking about how restrictive it is. Then she starts thinking about it in terms of wandering through the woods not knowing what she’s looking for, but she’ll know when she finds it, and she’s picking berries in her head, and suddenly: boom, magic. And the Dragon is furious because that’s too unorganized, what do you mean woods there aren’t any woods here, how are you doing it????

- it is essentially Wizard vs Sorcerer, to put it in DnD terms, only she is the only Sorceress in a world of Wizards and they can’t. get. it. it’s hilarious. (but she also can’t do their stuff, she has all the power without the precise control. They’re all stronger working together, so it’s not “super specialness”, it’s a fair trade)

- Delicious slow-burn, enemies-to-friends-to-lovers romance, yum. It’s written subtly and beautifully; I love the detail when she stops thinking of the Dragon by his title and starts thinking of him by his name. You just see the relationship changing without being told it is. 

- speaking of, I love the Dragon. He’s laid out as nuanced and “not a bad lord” from the start--protective of his vassals, enough to personally step in to help them, but also extremely distant. He thinks of the needs of the many vs the few, he’s grumpy, he never socializes, and he demands a sacrifice of a girl every decade--just to clean his tower, but everyone thinks the worst because he doesn’t do anything to make them think otherwise. So no one likes him except in that local proud “he’s our lord” way. And he keeps getting taken off-guard by Nieshka (again: “HOW ARE YOU CASTING LIKE THAT?!”) in a way that’s kind of adorable.

- Nieshka's profession at the end is becoming a druid-type healer. I LOVE THAT. there’s like some stigma against women doing feminine things in YA literature, and Nieshka just goes for it. She has the power to be a war-witch, and she’s used her magic that way, but she hated seeing battle and death. She goes “nope, I’m gonna peace out and heal the damage caused by this war.”

- I love how Nieshka knows the Dragon is gonna run from their relationship and decides she’s not gonna beg him to stay bc he needs to figure that out for himself. If he doesn’t come back, she’ll be sad, but she’ll move on. Her life doesn’t revolve around him, that’s refreshing, and it makes the moment he does come back (bc of course he does) that much better.

- Nieshka and Kasia’s friendship is the Good Shit, they’re just completely devoted to each other and it’s not at all framed in a romantic way. ACTUALLY their platonic love is the central relationship of the story instead of the romance, and I LOVE THAT, because romance shouldn’t be The Only And The Biggest bond in our life. But they also have their secret envies and hurts, but their friendship just grows stronger for it??? it’s just so good???

- Okay, for some non-Nieshka things (but seriously I love her), how about the side characters? They’re never reduced to “stop mattering when the hero leaves the screen”, they get motivations explained and other facets of their character explored. Alosha the witch-blacksmith, the Dragon’s rival the Falcon, KASIA, Prince Marek. Marek is like the perfect shadow archetype of Nieshka, they both really want to save someone they love from the Wood, they both refuse to quit, and it’s just plain bad luck that his quest was doomed from the start. So even though she hates what he does, she understands why he’s doing it, and admits she might well have done the same in his shoes.

- The Wood is terrifying. Novik uses a lot of pretty descriptive words in her narration that borders on flowery at points, but when it comes to the Wood, it underlines how horrific that place is. At one point, the Wood corrupts Kasia, and she describes sap seeping out of her eyes and mouth and I gagged reading it. Or here, take this paragraph:

“I could see light shining through my own skin, making a blazing lantern of my body, and when I held up my hands, I saw to my horror faint shadows moving there beneath the surface. Forgetting the feverish pain, I caught at my dress and dragged it off over my head. He knelt down on the floor with me. I was shining like a sun, the thin shadows moving through me like fish swimming beneath the ice in winter.”

- yes thank you I really needed the imagery of living evil fish swimming under someone’s skin in my life (translation: beautiful prose but ahhhh!)

- plus the Wood is alive and incredibly smart. It spends the whole book playing speed chess and keeping you double-guessing every apparent victory the heroes have. Combined with the supernatural/horror aspects, it really feels like an eldritch and dreadful force of nature. 

- there are like three books’ worth of plot in this one, but they all get developed and paced well. there’s just so much content, and it’s varied and exciting and gripping--training with the Dragon, rescues in the Wood, courtly intrigue, a siege on a tower, kickass magic battles, and The Big Final Mission which ends in a way I don’t want to spoil, even in the spoiler section.

Critiques:

- I really wish Novik included a map of the land, because I just kept getting confused where everything was. At first I was under the impression the Dragon’s tower was to the west, closest to the Wood; then it and the Wood turned out to be in the east? And the capital is...north, northwest of that? But then why are Nieskha and Kasia crossing mountains to get to the Dragon’s tower in the south, the mountains are in the east too, dividing them from Rosya, right??? where even is everything??????? it’s possible I was a dumbell and just misread/misremembered stuff, but that’s why a map would have been helpful.

- Novik’s writing style is beautiful, it’s fairy tale-esque and fits the setting...but once in a while it’s too much, you know? She really, really wants you immersed in the physical sensations of the world she created, and in cases like the Woods, it works well to convey the sheer monstrosity of the place. In other cases, it feels kinda like a slog; there’s one point where she writes at length about the pattern of a carpet. How interesting.

- Usually in YA fiction, the heroine doesn’t care about her parents or vice versa. Thankfully that’s averted here, but Nieshka mentions she has three brothers...who she doesn’t really think or care about. There’s a nice scene when she first arrives at the tower and starts crying about how she’s lost her parents, but her brothers? Nada. They don’t even get names or show up, with no explanation; at the very least a line about how they’re so much older than her that they’re not close would have satisfied me, but there’s nothing like that. It’s not huge, but it’s jarring.

- while I love the Dragon and Nieshka’s emotional relationship, I do admit the physical aspects felt sudden. Novik basically has it so that magically working together creates a charged intimacy between them, and the first time it happened I loved it because it seemed like it was gonna be ‘the gateway’ to more. Instead, it kind of ends up a crutch for their physical relationship. It’s like “slow burn, slow burn, magic, KISSAGE, slow burn, slow burn, magic, SEX”.

[yeonchi]

2020 In Review

It’s that time of the year again. At the end of every year, I write a post to sum up what I did this year and share my (controversial) opinions of the year’s current affairs. However, because I had so much to say for the latter, I’ve moved it to the Red Pill Year post - as obvious from the title, I’ve become red-pilled on quite a few things this year.

Things have been very different due to the coronavirus; while my transition into society has been forced to slow drastically, I did manage to achieve quite a lot over the six months in lockdown (from late-March to October). The lockdown has given me a good excuse to be a NEET and do all the things I want to do because I actually become a productive member of society.

Before I go into detail over various aspects, let’s start off this review with a list of...

What I did during lockdown

Finished my uni degree (I only had one subject left at that point and it was a beginner’s course to Cisco networking)

Reposted my reviews of the Sea Princesses animated series (which I completed last year)

Did some analysis on how Kamen Riders are not weapons

Played Warriors Orochi Z

Did a little reminiscence post on Kingdom of Paradise

Played Dynasty Warriors 8 and collected every 5 and 6 star weapons for each character

Launched Kisekae Insights as a soft reboot of the Yui Hirasawa Kisekae Project

Made a Change My Mind post about freedom of speech, censorship and cancel culture

Translated and reviewed the ten Princesas do Mar books, with the blessings of the author, Fabio Yabu

Played a bit of Dynasty Warriors Multi Raid 2 and 6 Special, no posts made for those games

Kept working on my personal project for a bit before putting it on hold

Checked and rewrote every story in my personal project (it’s still not finished yet)

Looking back at the year

Doctor Who

In case you haven’t read about it already, I decided to take the red pill on this series after watching The Timeless Children. Check out the hiatusbreaker update for some post-review thoughts that I made months after the end of Series 12.

Of course, I’ll be reviewing the New Year’s Special, Revolution of the Daleks, and Series 13 when it premieres late 2021. Be sure to check out my review of the New Year’s Special when it comes out the day after New Year’s Day.

Sea Princesses

For the third year in a row, I’ve done something significant for Sea Princesses. in 2018, I collected the English episodes as they were posted on YouTube. In 2019, I worked on the episode plots and transcripts for the wiki while also downloading the Amazon raws and collecting the remaining episodes that weren’t posted on YouTube (because the Mr Bean and Friends channel has finally given up after years of shitty marathon streams). In 2020, I brought the ten Princesas do Mar books and translated them into English.

When I emailed the author, Fabio Yabu, at the end of April to tell him of my intentions to translate the books, I didn’t get a reply from him until the middle of July. By that point, I had already brought the books from Pure Brazil (on Amazon) and I had finished scanning most of the books. In reflection, if I had known that he would offer to send me his manuscripts, I would have emailed him last year and not a week before I decided to buy the books. However, what’s done is done and at the very least, I’m probably the only person in Australia to actually have the books.

My original plan was to buy the books when I had gotten a job and saved up some money from each paycheck until I got the amount I needed. Looking back, I think it was a stupid idea and I’m glad I decided to cave. Considering the time it took me to scan and translate the books being unemployed and under lockdown, who knows how long it would have taken if I were studying or working full-time.

It’s funny how I’ve tried to spread the word about my efforts to revive the series and yet, I ended up doing all the work. Maybe it was because very few people cared as much about the series as I did, or maybe I didn’t make an effort to promote it enough because I was quite reserved about reaching out on platforms other than Facebook or Tumblr. This whole experience has taught me that in the end, if you want something done, you have to do it yourself.

In addition to this, I’ve also reposted my reviews of the cartoon series that I did in 2019. You can find all the reviews on this page. On top of that, I wrote three instalments on the series’ involvement in my personal project for Kisekae Insights. All in all, they made up the bulk of content that I posted during the lockdown.

Just as a note, only the English, Brazilian Portuguese and Castilian Spanish dubs have both seasons online in full, whether on YouTube, Amazon Prime or my cloud drive. As for the Latin American Spanish dubs, only the first season is available and I know someone at Southern Star is screwing with us because I have evidence that the second season was broadcast in that region as well. While this channel doesn’t have all the episodes and the videos were filmed with a camera in front of a television in not even 360p quality, it’s probably the only place where that version of the series is available. The second season wasn’t even released on DVD, which complicates things even more, but hey, that’s what happens when a series goes lost and forgotten for a decade.

Yabu has published translated versions of the first four literacy series books on Amazon Kindle and is planning on publishing translated versions of the main series books. As for the main series books on Kindle, there are errors in two of the books. In A Shadow in the Water, there’s two chunks of text missing at the start of Chapter 10, namely the Turtle King’s call to Miss Marla, so that the Turtle King says, “Hello! It’s cancelled!” before Leia gets off the bus and goes to the whale without any context as to how it got there. In The Windy Letters, there was a line missing at the end of Chapter 12 (13 in the Kindle version) saying that Tubarina passed out as she was leaving the cave. I was going to mention this in the epilogue for the book reviews, but I decided to cut it because I thought that Yabu would fix it. Sure enough, the second error was fixed (albeit haphazardly), but the first error hasn’t, and it’s been three months since I pointed it out to him. In hindsight, I’m kind of glad that I have the physical books because I wouldn’t have known about this if I just had the Kindle books.

I didn’t promote this until now because it’s not that important, but the literacy series books (with the exception of Turtles in Danger, I don’t know why distribution rights are all over the place) are available on Ubook in both ebook and audiobook formats. Interestingly, some of the narrators listed on the audiobooks include Eduardo Drummond, Ana Elena Bittencourt and Jullie, who are known for voicing Marcello, Tata and Leia on the Portuguese version of the cartoon. I can likely deduce from this that they managed to get some of the original cast back to do the audiobooks. This is yet another reminder that the series receives more love in Brazil than it does in Australia. I can bet that if the series were to receive English audiobooks, then whoever’s making them won’t bother to find the old cast. I won’t hold it against them if they don’t, but I’ll give them props if they do, even if they just get Paige Walker back as Tubarina.

If anyone wants to know about the production of the series, a few guys did a study on the Brazilian animation industry and Flamma Films, one of the producers of Sea Princesses, is covered in section 3.1. There is nothing special to be gleaned from it that I haven’t known or deduced already; the series is still decent even though there were places where it was screwed over. Although, it’s a shame that this series was never picked up by anyone who could have done better than Southern Star or that Yabu left Flamma in 2009 because I think there was more potential in both him and Sea Princesses. But hey, that’s just my opinion. I might cover the production history on the wiki someday.

With this, all canon material for Sea Princesses has been covered. I will still work on the wiki and moderate the content on there as admin, it’s just that it won’t be as groundbreaking as it was for the past three years. I’ve done all I can for the series and regardless of the reception it has or will receive, it’s time for me to move on.

Kisekae Insights

During the lockdown, I decided to launch Kisekae Insights as a means of sharing my personal project outside of my circle of friends. It also served as a reboot of the Yui Hirasawa Kisekae Project that I attempted to launch in 2015 before abandoning it due to commitments.

At the moment, I’m taking a break from this series to focus on other things, but in 6 months, I managed to make 16 instalments of this series centred around various aspects of my personal project. I don’t know when I might decide to start making instalments again, let alone if, so if you’ve been closely following the series, be prepared for the possibility that the series will stop at any point. I still have a portion of the project I want to write before finishing up, so I want to focus on that first along with revising older portions of the project.

Censorship

This was a topic that I wanted to cover in the Red Pill Year post, but I decided to move it to here because I wanted to get that post published before focusing on this one.

I’ve been on social media for 10 years now and over that time, I’ve seen many cases of censorship (not just on both sides of the political spectrum, but on many other spectrums) and been a victim of it myself. There have been so many different types of censorship that I’ve found it difficult to generalise into a single category until now.

When Donald Trump announced that he wanted Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act revoked because his tweets got fact-checked, I was almost onboard with him until someone who owns a (controversial) website I browse regularly pointed out that he would have to shut down his website because of the potential lawsuits that would be filed against him. The sad thing about this is that Joe Biden is looking to revoke 230 as well and no major website is making an uproar about this, given that they were so vocal about things like SOPA/PIPA, Article 13 and net neutrality in the past. I swear, this site is the only site I’ve seen that is actually talking about this.

Basically, the main gist of Section 230, or “the twenty-six words that created the internet”, are as follows: “No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider.” In other words, websites can’t be held responsible for content posted by users of that website, including posts, comments or videos, and thus they can’t be sued for it. Without 230, websites (particularly big websites and social media websites based in the US) would have more incentive to censor as they would be liable for that content; even with the amount of money the big companies have, they can only fight so many lawsuits before their money runs out, and that’s even if they want to bother doing that in the first place.

Social media sites define what seems to be clear rules for the use of their sites, but lately it seems that they keep moving the goalposts on content that touches the line at best while content that outright breaks the rules (like gore and child porn) remains hiding in the shadows or isn’t deemed a problem when reported. Their moderation systems are heavily reliant on AI with little, if any, human guidance, which basically means that their rationale for censorship is based on reports from, in order, corporations and IP owners, left-wing (SJW) biases and people who cry hard enough (en masse) to get something taken down.

Copyright takedowns are also a form of censorship because it’s mostly corporations being absolute Jews with their content. This is a problem with people who post content with copyrighted material because they run the risk of having the material taken down or demonetised, particularly in the case of content creators who use YouTube as their main source of income. The lines of copyright have been so blurred over the years that many people don’t care about it beyond crediting the original creators or not. At this point, it’s practically common knowledge that corporations are still stubborn over copyright even though they have other sources of revenue, not to mention the way they exploit their assets (franchises, celebrities and so forth).

In summary, political bias is a problem when it comes to censorship, but corporate bias and people gaming the system are just as much of a problem. The political biases of social media can seem like they flip-flop between two sides, but that’s what happens when you let AI do your work for you.

Who remembers the Tumblr NSFW ban of December 2018? I honestly can’t believe I’m saying this, but Pornhub has just gone through a similar purge, now only allowing official partners and verified creators to post because of rape, trafficking and child porn. You know what the common element between the two purges is? It’s burning down a large part of the orchard just because of a few rotten trees. A lot of perfectly legal content has been caught up in the crossfire because Tumblr and Pornhub are a bunch of pussies who are too lazy or afraid to have people go through and delete illegal content like child porn. Is anyone getting a feeling of déjà vu here? However, the situation with Pornhub is more financially motivated because their payment networks, namely Visa and Mastercard, terminated their services with them. I’ll get back to them in a bit.

Going on a bit of a tangent, YouTube has blocked all age-restricted videos from being played on other sites in their embedded player, meaning that users have to go onto their site and log into their account in order to watch those videos. That’s just great. How am I supposed to watch old Chris-chan videos now without having it appear in my internet history or even my Google account history?

Conservatives believe that the amount of censorship that is happening on social media sites is making them look like publishers instead of platforms. Sadly, I agree with this, but the even sadder thing is that Section 230 makes no distinction to such nor mentions “platforms” in any context. Therefore, I don’t believe that Section 230 should be revoked, but I do believe that there should be a reform in order to cover things like platforms, publishers and recourse for people who have been deplatformed. The Communications Decency Act was first passed in 1995; at that time, the internet was in its infancy, but in 2020, it has expanded to levels that people would never have imagined back then. Of course, the government shouldn’t be the only party to do something about censorship; social media sites and their uses have responsibility in this as well.

“bUt PRiVaTe CompanIES cAN dO whaTEveR THey WaNt, ThEy aREN't oblIgeD tO HOsT yOUR CoNTEnt” No. Anyone who still unironically believes this in current year, after all the government and corporate bullshit that has affected and threatened the integrity of the internet, can go fuck themselves. What about all the people who have been unfairly deplatfomed in recent years despite not doing anything illegal? What about #StopTheLeftPurge? I and many other people knew that the karma of censorship would somehow hit back on people eventually, so nobody should be defending any website for the actions they take to censor people. I’m all for getting scammers and people peddling illegal content off of social media, but we’re at the point where people are being deplatformed for things like copyright, wrongthink and criticism “as harassment” and innocent people are getting caught in the crossfire. My attitude to the current state of censorship on the internet is pretty much the same as my attitude to the police: How can we trust social media sites to moderate their users and content if they keep moving the goalposts, being vague about their justifications and believing victims practically all the time?

Here are some suggestions for how I would reform censorship.

Define large social media networks as public platforms: Despite all the alternatives that have sprung up, such as Gab, Parler, MeWe, Rumble, BitChute or the like, very few social media sites will have the potential to become the new Facebook, Twitter or YouTube, which has become so ubiquitous in our society. The alternatives may be good in their own ways, but the main reason why people are moving to them is because the mainstream sites have deemed their content or presences unwelcome. We’re talking about companies the size of supermarket or fast food chains compared to small businesses or businesses with a few branches in less than a few states. I realise that defining Facebook, Twitter or YouTube as “platforms” alone won’t do anything to reform censorship, so I should note that the next few suggestions should be just as important as this one.

Lessen punishments for people who post copyrighted content: Let’s face it, deplatforming YouTube channels after three copyright strikes is unfair considering that this is a fairly minor offence and the lines of copyright and fair use have been severely blurred over the past decade. If the content is from TV or something, then the most that should happen is that the video is removed or the ad revenue goes to the copyright owners, but if a channel is outright impersonating and/or plagiarising (original) content from another channel, that’s a different story.

Allow opportunities for discourse and appeals: When I was postblocked on Facebook thanks to some gaijin bitch who was too butthurt to take or respond to my criticisms of him, there was no way for me to appeal his reports of my content or the postblocks that resulted from them. When I tried to post something, a window would pop up saying that I was postblocked and there would be a button saying something like “Something’s Wrong”, but even after I clicked on it, nothing ever resulted from it. I would have been postblocked for 30 days or even deplatformed if he didn’t agree to rescind his reports after I called him out on his bullshit again. I’ve also heard of other cases where people’s appeals don’t seem to do anything or only make the problem worse.

Prevent abuse of DMCAs and reporting systems: Adding onto my previous point, there needs to be a way for people to say “these people are trying to get me deplatformed even though I did nothing wrong”. On one hand, I think there should be a limit on how many times people can report a particular page per week, while on the other hand, people need to be told to grow a spine and stop being crybabies over content that they shouldn’t be affected by (in most cases). In regards to DMCAs, I’ve found that some people abuse the system to get any criticisms of them taken down. Criticism is covered under fair use, but there needs to be a distinction between creative content and things that people say on social media.

Rely less on AI moderation and more on human moderation: During the Tumblr NSFW ban, they decided to ban “female-presenting nipples” except in contexts such as breastfeeding or surgery. However, the AI they used caught male nipples and female nipples that fit the exceptions for that ban. Social media relies too much on AI for the moderation of their content because they don’t want to expose human moderators to that stuff, even though that is technically part of their job. The content bots on YouTube make this worse with things like ContentID, COPPA or even the automatic detection of age-restricted videos. I’m convinced that AI alone cannot moderate content fairly; there should be another level of moderation where humans judge the moderation of the AI. For the past year, I’ve been doing a work-from-home thing where I assess Google search queries to see which results satisfy the needs of the user making the search. Having something like that for Facebook, Tumblr, YouTube and the like would be good, but the only problem is ensuring that they have a diverse range of political standings and interests in the moderator pool.

Finally, there are a few things I would like to clarify. Firstly, when I say “censor”, I don’t mean putting content warnings on things (in fact I’m all for them because some people might not like certain types of content), but I mean outright deleting them and/or punishing the users for posting them. Secondly, when it comes to NSFW content, I believe that “either all of it is okay or none of it is okay”, particularly when AI moderation can’t tell things apart most of the time. Thirdly, I make exceptions when it comes to things like rape, trafficking and child porn because they are exploitative and non-consensual. Fourthly, I believe that fan art and artworks, including hentai and Rule 34 (while contentious at times), should be treated differently to real life and live-action because while it is a subjective debate, there are generally no victims in the former.

Of course, those are just some of my suggestions for reforming censorship; there may be some that I haven’t brought up. My point is that knee-jerk reactions can end up hurting more people than they benefit.

There was another suggestion brought up by the owner of the website I mentioned earlier. He believes that the solution to fixing censorship is to make banks and payment networks like utilities (gas, electricity, phone, internet), meaning that they can’t blacklist anyone unless they have actually been convicted of financial crime (or sanctioned by other countries). When I first read it, I couldn’t figure out how to connect the two, but now that I know the circumstances behind the Pornhub purge, I realise that all these companies really care about isn’t just money, but whether they can be paid by conventional means. Small sites can afford to use alternate means such as cryptocurrency, but big sites have to cater to the mainstream. There’s a difference between being banned from a business because you’re being belligerent and being banned from a business because you’re a controversial figure who has said some controversial stuff online, particularly in the past. I’d also suggest that social media be considered an utility as well, but compared to the examples I’ve given, it’s pretty much a non-essential service.

In my first suggestion, I named some alternative social media platforms that people have been using in recent years. I don’t really intend to sign up for those platforms because a) I don’t post contentious stuff all the time and even when I do, it either follows the community guidelines or flies under the radar (with the exception of petty snitches and bitches) and b) I don’t have a strong enough fanbase nor do I have enough fans who are willing to follow me to wherever I decide to migrate to. After cutting off other social media platforms like Twitter or Pinterest due to lack of use, the only platforms I have left are Facebook and Tumblr. Various factors have kept me from posting as often as I have done in the past; I’m struggling to find enough things to post per month just for the sake of it.

Even if you follow the rules, you should still be worried about censorship, because before you know it, you might be the next one on the chopping block.

Political correctness

I’ve been as tolerant as I can be about changing the way we say or do things because of political correctness, but some of the changes I’ve seen, particularly in the past year in response to Black Lives Matter, has me questioning why. I mean, yes, of course the answer is about racism, but my main question with it is that if people had a problem with something, why didn’t they say something earlier? Why did it take the death of a black drug user who was arrested for using counterfeit bills for people to do something instead of all the other black people whose deaths led to similar protests in the past? Why didn’t black people say anything when they began to be treated fairly following the Civil Rights Movement?

Some people have said that removing monuments and memorials of figures related to Confederacy or slavery is destroying or censoring history. I think that a better idea would be to keep them, but teach people why those figures should or should not be revered.

As for casting changes, it seems that the trend is to have characters of marginalised demographics being portrayed by people from those demographics; black characters being portrayed by black actors, transgender characters being portrayed by transgender actors and autistic characters being portrayed by autistic actors. On one hand, I can kind of understand, particularly when it comes to live-action works, but on the other hand, they’re just actors and it’s in their profession to portray different characters as the job requires. In animation, you probably wouldn’t be able to tell who’s the voice behind the character if you don’t bother researching the actors in the credits. I get the idea of diversity and casting the right person based on talent, but sometimes, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

I don’t understand the motivation behind political correctness sometimes. Either that or I just don’t like things changing so drastically (when there’s very little problem with it in the first place).

On another note, check out my Red Pill Year post to see why I prefer to use the term “coronavirus” over “COVID-19″.

Cancel culture

I’ve said it before and I’ve said it again. Cancel culture is just people overreacting to things people did, particularly in the past which nobody should be caring about anymore. This then leads to censorship and arguments about political correctness.

Personally, cancel culture should be more like iDubbbz’s Content Cops; someone does an exposé on a problematic figure, they get a chance to respond and the rest of us either accept their response or mock them for their shit response or lack thereof. Such a shame that iDubbbz has fallen so low after the RiceGum Content Cop though...

In any case, people need to learn how to think critically and stop being so petty over trivial things. Also, getting someone fired just for something they said or did outside of their workplace is just as petty. People need to learn to separate the internet from real life and about what professionalism is.

Other miscellaneous stuff

A few more things before I finish up.

Between publishing the Red Pill Year post and this one, some mutant strains of the coronavirus, originating in the UK and South Africa, have begun spreading all over the world along with some new cases and clusters in Australia. Hopefully we’ll be able to contain these new cases like we did with all the other ones, but some blame still needs to be put on governments for allowing the pandemic to get this far and people for not following social distancing guidelines.

I decided to randomly search my Tumblr blog in the Wayback Archive recently. There’s not a lot of stuff there, but one thing that alarmed me was that two posts from 2017, namely my Content Cop parody and my rant about Facebook pages, were archived more than 20 times. I don’t know who initiated it or whatever, but if it is who I think it is, then I would have thought that archiving the post forever would be the last thing they wanted.

In a way, I’ve begun to understand why the right tends to say “All Lives Matter” in response to “Black Lives Matter”. They think we already live in an utopia where racism is all but eradicated, so they think that the movement is merely attention seeking, virtue signalling and so on. Would we be complaining if there wasn’t any injustice in our society? The same question could be said for Hong Kong and any other place where there is injustice.

Over the past few years, I’ve come to realise that corporations are not our friends. If my time writing English dub rants has taught me anything, it’s that corporations rarely listen to their customers; the only reason why shills and cucks support anything corporations do is because their interests happen to align with whatever they’re doing. It’s the same logic as corporations supporting Black Lives Matter. The main objective of a company isn’t to virtue signal because they have very little or no place to do so. They should just give us customers what we want, take our money and fuck off.

And if you thought that last line sounded familiar, that’s because it’s from Ricky Gervais’ monologue at the 2020 Golden Globes in January. How good was that? Anyone who disagrees with what he said is, knowingly or unknowingly, defending the kind of culture he is criticising.

Lockdowns aside, the time has come for me to resume my transition into society, but not without precautions. Of course, I’ll still be around, but I’ll probably be posting less in 2021 compared to 2020, not that it really matters anyway.

Before I go, I’d like to leave you with some final words.

Black lives matter and Hongkonger lives matter.

All cops are bastards.

Corporations are not your friends, even if they make something you like.

Stay safe, practice social distancing and wear a face mask when going out.

願榮光歸香港 (May glory return to Hong Kong.)

Happy New Year everyone. I wish you peace as we move from a very turbulent 2020 to what could possibly be an even more turbulent 2021.

[lia-nikiforov]

Winter Anime Final Impressions

I was supposed to do this like two weeks ago but with Gundam ending so late and me getting swept up with many things, I didn’t have the time, but here’s a quick rundown of the best and worst of the Winter season. I’m gong from best to worst and also since I watched very few shows this season, I ‘m not gonna break them down in best/meh/worst

Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu: Sukeroku Futatabi-hen

A masterpiece to the very end, as heartbreaking as it was full of joy and love. There was this weird insinuation at the end that didn’t sit well with me at all and I’m not sure why they felt the need to do it, but I can overlook it because the rest of the picture is so wonderful and special and heart-wrenching. When Konatsu asked Yakumo to make her his apprentice, I actually cried. What a beautiful show. Don’t let the obscure antique Japanese art keep you from experiencing one of the best anime of this decade.

Ao no Exorcist: Kyoto-hen

I was a bit worried about this one because lately, when an “old” show gets a sequel many years after it last aired, said sequel turns out underwhelming and poorly done. See D.Grayman HALLOW (which also adapted my favorite arc from that manga) and Berserk (production values aside, the decline of this is due to Miura’s gross storytelling, so I guess it was inevitable). But I was more than surprised and ecstatic to see this rendition of the Kyoto arc did justice on the source material, with excellent production values, a good pace and wonderful emotional and action scenes alike. AoEx is one of the finest examples of the battle shonen genre and that translated wonderfully to this new iteration of the anime. I can only hope we’ll see Izumo’s and Shura’s arc eventually too.

ACCA-13-ku Kansatsuka

I was a Little on the fence on this one at the start, but once they laid down all the cards and tied all the loose threads, it became absolutely amazing. I’m sorry I ever doubted you Natsume Ono, your ability to craft smart and fascinating adult stories shall never be questioned again. Definitely worth checking out if you want to try something different to your usual anime genres. Helps that the visuals are really interesting and that Mauve is such a bae. I still feel Jean was the weakest link with his absolute nonchalance, but even that somehow worked at the end. Definitely worth going through the somewhat slow initial episodes.

Yowamushi Pedal: New Generation

NGL i’m not a fan of Kaburagi, he’s so much like Naruko I don’t feel he adds anything to the team. But this is now officially the Teshima show and that compensates for the snooze that is Kaburagi because Teshima has become so fabulous and cool I’m just excited every week to see what he’ll do next. Also the First-year race was a true highlight and I’m very disappointed Sugimoto didn’t make the cut, they did a fantastic job in making him likable, so it was sad to see him lose. Hopefully he’ll get to assist Imaizumi when they’re 3rd years.

Little Witch Academia

This show’s a lot of fun, with really sweet animation and it also sports the Best Girl of the season, Sucy Manbavaaran, although I gotta say there were a bit too many fillerish episodes and it was frustrating to see them take so long to get the plot going. I’m not hating on the show, it is in fact extremely entertaining, but it’s a little lacking on the plot department. Hopefully we’ll get more of that on the second cour.

Classicaloid

I’ve never been happier of not quitting a show as I am about Classicaloid. By episode 3 I was on the verge of giving up because it wasn’t what I had expected, but I kept going and I ended falling so hard in love with this show I’m ecstatic it’s getting a second season. Once I embraced the absurdity, it became the best comedy of the season, and I honestly would watch Schubert’s fishy misadventures for 52 weeks a year. It’s an acquired taste for sure and not easy to recommend, but if you’re willing to let go of all reason, you’re sure to have a good time.

All Out!!

I have a lot of love for this show and its characters (and Sekizan’s ridiculous hair), but I’m afraid the pacing they chose basically doomed them because with the abysmal sales, it seems unlikely we’ll ever see a second season and therefore we’ll never get to see if Jinko does get to Hanazono. It’s a perfectly competent sports series, that does a really good job of developing its huge cast, definitely much better than the likes of Prince of Stride or DAYS, but its inconclusive ending is quite frustrating. I really do hope we get to see more of these boys, but Madhouse’s never been all that good with the whole getting-sequels-done so…

Kuzu no Honkai

In spite of its low ranking, this is actually a really good show and a unique take on teenage female sexuality that you wouldn’t normally see in this mostly sexist medium. Hanabi made for a truly interesting protagonist and I liked seeing her explore herself and her relationships. I was however quite disappointed by how little focus we actually had for Hanabi and Mugi’s relationship. I felt there was more telling than showing in that regard, especially in the latter half of the show. The ending was pretty good and mature in spite of everything, and as always, I’m just really fond of all the vaginal imagery in the ED animation. Could’ve done without Moca though.

Gundam: Tekketsu Orphans

At the end of the Fall season, I expressed my concern about pointless, meaningless deaths. Clearly the Gundam writers thought I wasn’t concerned enough because the amount of characters that died pointless deaths went on to, I think, the double digits. I wouldn’t have minded the carnage if there had been some sort of payoff to the sacrifices. For example, if Shino hadn’t stupidly and conveniently missed his one shot because the show couldn’t afford to kill Rustal yet. I always felt Orga, Mika and Akihiro had a ton of death flags looming over their heads, but I certainly didn’t expect all three of them to get to the chopping block. Orga’s death was particularly random and pointless, but then again, what they did with Orga in general was very confusing. That he agreed to McGillis’s sketchy propositions to become “king of Mars” never made a whole lot of sense to me and that’s the result we got. I’ll also never get over how creepy and weird the whole Atra giving Mika a baby thing was. In short, I have very mixed feelings about it.

Hand Shakers

I could write thousands of words for everything that was wrong with this series but I think it wouldn’t make justice to the absolute experience that is watching this amazing trainwreck. Go watch it to see a masterclass of how not to anime. Honestly I had such a good time hating this show, it was so horrible in every possible way. Good job GoHands, even animate, who sponsored this show, won’t give it any publicity.

Super Lovers

I’m not sure of how this production team managed to put out 20 episodes of nothing actually happen. Like you just have to give kudos to the writers for managing to simply not do anything over the course of 6~ hours of content. No drama, no decent comedy, no character development, not even relationship development in a BL romance. It’s kind of amazing how pointless the whole thing is. The dog’s still cute and the relationship is still creepy and gross and that’s about all there is to say about this.

Although most of the shows I watched turned out great, it did feel like a weaker season because there wasn’t that much that was interesting (my Wednesdays were literally empty). Or maybe everything looks lackluster in this post-Yuri on Ice world D: But there was Rakugo and rakugo is good and I’m glad we live in an age in which such a niche, quiet and adult artistic show could be made and tell a complete story.

[michaelfallcon]

Everything You Know About Tea Is Wrong

It’s true! Everything you know about tea is wrong—or at least, if you’re me. I grew up on tea bags; I can still see them right now, a yellow box of Lipton tea bags, hanging out in the back of the middle shelf of the bank of cupboards in my mother’s kitchen. Maybe this article should have been titled “Everything Jordan Knows About Tea Is Wrong”—I apologize for making assumptions by using the royal you.

Until a very short time ago, tea was this very ancillary, secondary, overlooked thing in my life. I usually drank it (if I drank it at all) served as iced tea, sweetened of course if I was in the American South, or served dry as a bone over great hulking chunks of ice with a lemon wedge on that rare hot day in the Pacific Northwest, where I grew up. I didn’t take tea seriously—I ignored it on coffee shop menus, I didn’t make it for myself at home, I couldn’t really tell you anything about the various styles and varieties. I didn’t own a gaiwan or any tea-making gear, even at the entry level. I was oblivious to its many cultures and subcultures and rich history.

I was fucking up and I didn’t even know it.

And then very suddenly, everything changed. It started, like literally every major event over the last decade in my life, because of coffee. More specifically, because of a story I was assigned to write for Sprudge. We had noticed an uptick in tea quality at high-end cafes, specifically here in Portland, where the San-Francisco-based tea company Song Tea was showing up on the menu at a couple of the good local coffee bars. We started following Song and realized they were being placed in several well-respected cafes around the country. A hypothesis emerged.

In the early days of Sprudge you could tell if a coffee shop was any good just by the gear. If you walked into a coffee bar in 2009 and they had a La Marzocco and a Mahlkönig, you knew they likely gave a shit. Nowadays it’s harder to tell quite so easily, as the third wave coffee movement has exploded and things like gear and interior design have become more copycat. But maybe this tea brand was on to something; maybe Song was sort of like a third-party quality control vetting system, and that by only going into good coffee shops, we could look at them as a kind of hack. “If a cafe serves Song, they must be good.”

Photos from our 2016 interview with Peter Luong by Zachary Carlsen.

And so I went to San Francisco and interviewed Peter Luong, Song Tea’s founder, who grew up in his family’s tea shop and has been traveling for tea sourcing since he was a kid. You can read the interview here—it’s an okay interview, I think, and it helped turn more people on to the good work Peter is doing. But the subtext of that interview is what leads us here today. Because throughout it, while I asked Peter rudimentary questions about Song’s approach to tea in a coffee context, he was making tea the entire time. Teas like I had never, ever tried before—wonderful buttercream oolongs and chocolatey roasted tieguanyins, Cypress smoked black tea like a campfire jujube and endlessly complex Sichuan greens, all of it served in a procession of simple, stunning, utterly pleasurable teawares. Peter was serving me his own personal take on gong fu cha as I interviewed him, and honestly, it changed my life.

I left high. Floating. Tea drunk, tea stoned, whatever you want to call it. (Although if we really want to get into what psychotropic most mimicked by a sizable consumption of tea, I think it’s closest to a gentle microdose of psilocybin.) Blowing like a feather in the wind around Pacific Heights, with a laptop full of notes and no particular place to head next, clutching my backpack now full of teas for steeping back home.

And steep back home I did—pot after pot, with a strict 10:00pm cutoff so as not to mess with my sleep schedule, chasing the sensory memory of that incredible experience in San Francisco. I love a rabbit hole, a new world to explore, and tea—like coffee, and like natural wine—offered a vast and never-ending beverage culture to soak up like a sponge.

Tea quickly became a daily part of my creative and personal life. I found myself writing better, or at least writing more voluminously (which I know should not be mistaken for “better” but often feels like it) while consuming an ever-growing raft of teas. I started exploring different brands, seeking out interesting tea accounts on Instagram, pouring through websites big and small, from tea purveyors based in China to tea purveyors based a few blocks from my house. I started collecting teawares, began following talented ceramicists from around the world, and started—slowly at first—to begin making tea for others, as a form of expression for this new passion.

I also began traveling with tea in mind, seeking out tea experiences in different parts of the country and digging out time for tea alongside Sprudge’s busy travel schedule. An hour here, an hour there, ducking out of a festival on my lunch break or landing with an extra day to explore tea shops across a city. Along this path I started talking with the people who run these tea shops and bars, asking them about their own journeys with tea, their own perspectives on the drink and the multitudes it contains.

And through it all, I learned a couple of surprising things.

First, tea people are by and large kind to each other. I learned this first by haunting the Instagrams and Reddit forums for tea drinkers, and by taking on some local tea writing for the alt-weekly here in Portland, which got me into more and more local tea bars, begetting more and more happy, sunshiney, tea-stoned conversations. On the internet, and IRL, tea conversations appear at least to this outsider to be mostly full of positivity and kindness. It’s one of the nicest Reddits, which is really saying something, and on Instagram you have to look hard to find tea people being shitty to each other. I can assure you this is not always the case in coffee, and it is really not the case in wine.

Tea scoop and rest inside Floating Mountain. Photo by the author.

The notion of tea’s inherent kindness landed while I was sitting in a tea bar on New York’s Upper West Side called Floating Mountain, whose owner, Lina Medvedeva, escaped the world of Manhattan finance to open a serene, meditative, beautiful little second floor tea bar and gallery above W 72nd Street. Over a single pot of Phoenix Dan Cong (I can still taste its warm red comforting flavors now, months later writing this) we talked about her past life, her upbringing in Russia’s far east, near Vladivostok (“We grew up drinking tea like water”), and how Floating Mountain came to be. It was once a tailor shop, and today is imbued with the most glorious Manhattan light, streaming in through floor to ceiling windows, like an oasis of energy and calm in the middle of the city, just blocks from The Dakota and Central Park.

Lina’s gong fu cha is minimalist, with everything just so—nothing extravagant, nothing loud. A tea scoop from the Czech Republic, made from vitrified bogwood. A simple porcelain gaiwan. A glass water kettle. An hour became two, and I was then hopelessly late for my next appointment, but I remember asking: “Is it just me, or do tea people seem rather content? Like as a culture, it seems to be a pretty positive place…do you agree?”

“You can never know the inside of another mind,” she replied, “but the tea speaks. There isn’t much left to say.”

The house of Liquid Proust. Photo by the author.

A few weeks and a thousand miles later I sat for another tea experience, where I learned a lesson on tea’s power to transform our very souls. This time it was inside an unassuming house, on a nondescript street amongst a row of clapboard little boxes in suburban Columbus, Ohio. This is the home of Andrew Richardson, who goes by Liquid Proust on Instagram and runs a fast-growing digital tea company of the same name. His focus is on rare and aged teas, typically from Yunnan but also some truly remarkable oolongs from Taiwan and eastern China. His entire business and network of tea community happens online, and walking up to the house, you would never in a million years guess that inside it dwells one of the foremost young American collectors and distributors of vintage single-origin tea.

Nearly every surface inside of Andrew’s house is covered in tea: tuongs, satchels, bags, parcels, caddies, ceramic resting jars, wooden commemorative chests, boxes and boxes and boxes with China Post shipping labels affixed (oh, what the mailman must think!) and enough shipping material to ensure safe passage between here and Mars and back, Express Class. There is more tea in this house than one person could drink in a thousand lifetimes, though I suspect Liquid Proust would die happy trying. In his cluttered office (tea, tea everywhere) across an industrial minimalist metal tea table, Andrew brewed me a procession of increasingly rare and fine teas, and talked to me at length about his growing business.

Liquid Proust began as a side hustle from Andrew’s full-time job, which is as a business advisor and student in a corporate MBA program. He fell down a particular sub-section of the tea rabbit hole, chatting with tea purveyors in China and Taiwan and Malaysia using auto translate programs, assuming financial risk by purchasing lots–large and small–of vintage tea, and documenting all of it on Instagram. Today his website is an ever-changing array of tea offerings, collaborative buys and special lots, handpacked from his home in Ohio.

Tea has been a transformative force in Andrew’s life. “Tea has taught me to be accepting,” he told me. “I grew up in a very conservative religious family, and without tea, I think I be like… somebody totally different. A Christian conservative Trump supporter, most likely.” He grew up drinking Bewley’s tea bags with his family, he tells me sheepishly, and I can relate. As tea gained more and more prominence in his life, the old vestiges and relationships of his past life fell away. He fell into a new world of tea drinkers and tea lovers—diverse, international, accepting, kind. His doors are always open to fellow tea heads on the same journey.

“People come to this house from around the world,” he tells me, as we look over jar after jar, bag after bag, an entire living room given over to boxes to ship, every square inch of kitchen counter overflowing with tea from his remarkable collection. “We just start laughing together, and talking. It’s almost like drinking beer—if you drink enough tea you get silly after a while, and then you get to really hear about people’s lives, their views on religion and love, and who they truly are. I would have never had this conversation before—I would have never known you.”

Too soon I was back outside in the Ohio chill, waiting for a Lyft to take me back into the city, my bag and mind and heart crammed full to bursting with tea. I started crying in the back of the car.

As a Western tea drinker, tea doesn’t need me. Not economically, not culturally, and certainly not spiritually. Indeed, there is something almost comically absurd about obsessing over tea here in America, thousands of miles from where it’s cultivated and revered, separated by a vast ocean both literal and cultural, although I’d like to think it’s kind of modern and cool too—bridging language and culture gaps digitally over a shared love for something truly good. But the economy and language of tea is quite happily percolating along in the countries where tea is produced, a brisk market of sales and consumption and obsession. Tea is not, like coffee, primarily an export crop. It’s more like wine—the cultures that grow it most revere it, and typically keep all the good shit close to home.  Indeed, as I understand it is only relatively recently that truly great teas from China and Taiwan have even been available for mass consumption in the United States. General access to premiere quality tea in America is a fairly new thing informed by the opening up of China’s flexible take on communism vis-a-vis small business growth, the linking of our world through the towering modern marvels of online shopping, international shipping (thanks China Post!) and global free trade.

Tea prices, trade wars, globalism: all of this is made possible by international commerce and the free movement of goods and services and ideas through international markets. Like coffee, tea is an unexpectedly and explicitly political product to consume in the best of times. And today? When these trade freedoms are imperiled by tariffs and racism and shudderingly incompetent political leadership? Drinking good tea in America right now is a profoundly political act, more so than at any time since the American revolution.

Tea doesn’t need the West but I think we need it. I think we could all stand to sit with this stuff as a regular part of our lives; not to replace coffee in the mornings, or instead of wine at night, but as a bridge and a complementary force alongside the other drinks we already love. Tea is a vast, bottomless, endlessly complex world of styles, producers, history, modern expression, accoutrement and idiosyncrasy. It is a lifetime—indeed, many happy lifetimes—of culinary inquiry. Drinking good tea can make your life better. Drinking good tea has definitely made my life better, made me a happier person and a more creative thinker, a better friend and colleague and partner. It has comforted me in times of sadness and tragedy, and I have celebrated good news with it, and it has been there for me as alacrity fuel of the highest order on plain old boring work nights.

I strongly recommend drinking a lot of good tea to anyone who wants to better know their own mind. Bathe your brain in theanine any possible chance you get. Think of it almost as like a performance-enhancing drug for your life.

I will end this essay by telling you a secret. I’m “the guy from Sprudge” which means that every so often at an event (be it family or promotional) someone expects me to make coffee. And I can do it serviceably well enough. I’m okay at it, but I don’t think I’m particularly great at it, or that I approach it with the easy confidence and muscle memory of a champion barista or anything. My coffee brewing prowess is nothing special, and I always kind of dread being asked, because it comes with a lot of expectations that frankly I’ve done nothing to deserve beyond stringing lots of flowery words together.

But I love making tea. Adore it, really. I love making it for myself, for my friends and family, for guests at our Sprudge offices in Portland, at parties or brunches or pretty much wherever. I love (and I mean love) the ceramics; I love the tactile change from dry to porous; I love the flavor variation across a long session; I love the steeping rhythm; I love the intimacy it creates, the way you really get to know someone somewhere between the fourth and seventh cup. Some of the very best conversations of my life have taken place over the last two years, with friends new and old, across a gaiwan.

My dream is that someday I will be able to give my own personal expression of gong fu cha to someone else and change their life, too, by opening their eyes and mind up to what tea can be, just as Peter Luong and Lina Medvedeva and Liquid Proust have done for me.

It’s the least I can do.

Jordan Michelman (@suitcasewine) is a co-founder and editor at Sprudge Media Network. Read more Jordan Michelman on Sprudge. 

Editor: Liz Clayton. 

All photos by Anthony Jordan III (@ace_lace) unless otherwise noted. The top image for this feature depicts a ceramic teascoop “chahe” from Russian ceramicist Anton Filonov, distributed in the United States by Liquid Proust. 

Sprudge Tea Week is presented by Breville USA.

The post Everything You Know About Tea Is Wrong appeared first on Sprudge.

Everything You Know About Tea Is Wrong published first on https://medium.com/@LinLinCoffee

[epchapman89]

Everything You Know About Tea Is Wrong

It’s true! Everything you know about tea is wrong—or at least, if you’re me. I grew up on tea bags; I can still see them right now, a yellow box of Lipton tea bags, hanging out in the back of the middle shelf of the bank of cupboards in my mother’s kitchen. Maybe this article should have been titled “Everything Jordan Knows About Tea Is Wrong”—I apologize for making assumptions by using the royal you.

Until a very short time ago, tea was this very ancillary, secondary, overlooked thing in my life. I usually drank it (if I drank it at all) served as iced tea, sweetened of course if I was in the American South, or served dry as a bone over great hulking chunks of ice with a lemon wedge on that rare hot day in the Pacific Northwest, where I grew up. I didn’t take tea seriously—I ignored it on coffee shop menus, I didn’t make it for myself at home, I couldn’t really tell you anything about the various styles and varieties. I didn’t own a gaiwan or any tea-making gear, even at the entry level. I was oblivious to its many cultures and subcultures and rich history.

I was fucking up and I didn’t even know it.

And then very suddenly, everything changed. It started, like literally every major event over the last decade in my life, because of coffee. More specifically, because of a story I was assigned to write for Sprudge. We had noticed an uptick in tea quality at high-end cafes, specifically here in Portland, where the San-Francisco-based tea company Song Tea was showing up on the menu at a couple of the good local coffee bars. We started following Song and realized they were being placed in several well-respected cafes around the country. A hypothesis emerged.

In the early days of Sprudge you could tell if a coffee shop was any good just by the gear. If you walked into a coffee bar in 2009 and they had a La Marzocco and a Mahlkönig, you knew they likely gave a shit. Nowadays it’s harder to tell quite so easily, as the third wave coffee movement has exploded and things like gear and interior design have become more copycat. But maybe this tea brand was on to something; maybe Song was sort of like a third-party quality control vetting system, and that by only going into good coffee shops, we could look at them as a kind of hack. “If a cafe serves Song, they must be good.”

Photos from our 2016 interview with Peter Luong by Zachary Carlsen.

And so I went to San Francisco and interviewed Peter Luong, Song Tea’s founder, who grew up in his family’s tea shop and has been traveling for tea sourcing since he was a kid. You can read the interview here—it’s an okay interview, I think, and it helped turn more people on to the good work Peter is doing. But the subtext of that interview is what leads us here today. Because throughout it, while I asked Peter rudimentary questions about Song’s approach to tea in a coffee context, he was making tea the entire time. Teas like I had never, ever tried before—wonderful buttercream oolongs and chocolatey roasted tieguanyins, Cypress smoked black tea like a campfire jujube and endlessly complex Sichuan greens, all of it served in a procession of simple, stunning, utterly pleasurable teawares. Peter was serving me his own personal take on gong fu cha as I interviewed him, and honestly, it changed my life.

I left high. Floating. Tea drunk, tea stoned, whatever you want to call it. (Although if we really want to get into what psychotropic most mimicked by a sizable consumption of tea, I think it’s closest to a gentle microdose of psilocybin.) Blowing like a feather in the wind around Pacific Heights, with a laptop full of notes and no particular place to head next, clutching my backpack now full of teas for steeping back home.

And steep back home I did—pot after pot, with a strict 10:00pm cutoff so as not to mess with my sleep schedule, chasing the sensory memory of that incredible experience in San Francisco. I love a rabbit hole, a new world to explore, and tea—like coffee, and like natural wine—offered a vast and never-ending beverage culture to soak up like a sponge.

Tea quickly became a daily part of my creative and personal life. I found myself writing better, or at least writing more voluminously (which I know should not be mistaken for “better” but often feels like it) while consuming an ever-growing raft of teas. I started exploring different brands, seeking out interesting tea accounts on Instagram, pouring through websites big and small, from tea purveyors based in China to tea purveyors based a few blocks from my house. I started collecting teawares, began following talented ceramicists from around the world, and started—slowly at first—to begin making tea for others, as a form of expression for this new passion.

I also began traveling with tea in mind, seeking out tea experiences in different parts of the country and digging out time for tea alongside Sprudge’s busy travel schedule. An hour here, an hour there, ducking out of a festival on my lunch break or landing with an extra day to explore tea shops across a city. Along this path I started talking with the people who run these tea shops and bars, asking them about their own journeys with tea, their own perspectives on the drink and the multitudes it contains.

And through it all, I learned a couple of surprising things.

First, tea people are by and large kind to each other. I learned this first by haunting the Instagrams and Reddit forums for tea drinkers, and by taking on some local tea writing for the alt-weekly here in Portland, which got me into more and more local tea bars, begetting more and more happy, sunshiney, tea-stoned conversations. On the internet, and IRL, tea conversations appear at least to this outsider to be mostly full of positivity and kindness. It’s one of the nicest Reddits, which is really saying something, and on Instagram you have to look hard to find tea people being shitty to each other. I can assure you this is not always the case in coffee, and it is really not the case in wine.

Tea scoop and rest inside Floating Mountain. Photo by the author.

The notion of tea’s inherent kindness landed while I was sitting in a tea bar on New York’s Upper West Side called Floating Mountain, whose owner, Lina Medvedeva, escaped the world of Manhattan finance to open a serene, meditative, beautiful little second floor tea bar and gallery above W 72nd Street. Over a single pot of Phoenix Dan Cong (I can still taste its warm red comforting flavors now, months later writing this) we talked about her past life, her upbringing in Russia’s far east, near Vladivostok (“We grew up drinking tea like water”), and how Floating Mountain came to be. It was once a tailor shop, and today is imbued with the most glorious Manhattan light, streaming in through floor to ceiling windows, like an oasis of energy and calm in the middle of the city, just blocks from The Dakota and Central Park.

Lina’s gong fu cha is minimalist, with everything just so—nothing extravagant, nothing loud. A tea scoop from the Czech Republic, made from vitrified bogwood. A simple porcelain gaiwan. A glass water kettle. An hour became two, and I was then hopelessly late for my next appointment, but I remember asking: “Is it just me, or do tea people seem rather content? Like as a culture, it seems to be a pretty positive place…do you agree?”

“You can never know the inside of another mind,” she replied, “but the tea speaks. There isn’t much left to say.”

The house of Liquid Proust. Photo by the author.

A few weeks and a thousand miles later I sat for another tea experience, where I learned a lesson on tea’s power to transform our very souls. This time it was inside an unassuming house, on a nondescript street amongst a row of clapboard little boxes in suburban Columbus, Ohio. This is the home of Andrew Richardson, who goes by Liquid Proust on Instagram and runs a fast-growing digital tea company of the same name. His focus is on rare and aged teas, typically from Yunnan but also some truly remarkable oolongs from Taiwan and eastern China. His entire business and network of tea community happens online, and walking up to the house, you would never in a million years guess that inside it dwells one of the foremost young American collectors and distributors of vintage single-origin tea.

Nearly every surface inside of Andrew’s house is covered in tea: tuongs, satchels, bags, parcels, caddies, ceramic resting jars, wooden commemorative chests, boxes and boxes and boxes with China Post shipping labels affixed (oh, what the mailman must think!) and enough shipping material to ensure safe passage between here and Mars and back, Express Class. There is more tea in this house than one person could drink in a thousand lifetimes, though I suspect Liquid Proust would die happy trying. In his cluttered office (tea, tea everywhere) across an industrial minimalist metal tea table, Andrew brewed me a procession of increasingly rare and fine teas, and talked to me at length about his growing business.

Liquid Proust began as a side hustle from Andrew’s full-time job, which is as a business advisor and student in a corporate MBA program. He fell down a particular sub-section of the tea rabbit hole, chatting with tea purveyors in China and Taiwan and Malaysia using auto translate programs, assuming financial risk by purchasing lots–large and small–of vintage tea, and documenting all of it on Instagram. Today his website is an ever-changing array of tea offerings, collaborative buys and special lots, handpacked from his home in Ohio.

Tea has been a transformative force in Andrew’s life. “Tea has taught me to be accepting,” he told me. “I grew up in a very conservative religious family, and without tea, I think I be like… somebody totally different. A Christian conservative Trump supporter, most likely.” He grew up drinking Bewley’s tea bags with his family, he tells me sheepishly, and I can relate. As tea gained more and more prominence in his life, the old vestiges and relationships of his past life fell away. He fell into a new world of tea drinkers and tea lovers—diverse, international, accepting, kind. His doors are always open to fellow tea heads on the same journey.

“People come to this house from around the world,” he tells me, as we look over jar after jar, bag after bag, an entire living room given over to boxes to ship, every square inch of kitchen counter overflowing with tea from his remarkable collection. “We just start laughing together, and talking. It’s almost like drinking beer—if you drink enough tea you get silly after a while, and then you get to really hear about people’s lives, their views on religion and love, and who they truly are. I would have never had this conversation before—I would have never known you.”

Too soon I was back outside in the Ohio chill, waiting for a Lyft to take me back into the city, my bag and mind and heart crammed full to bursting with tea. I started crying in the back of the car.

As a Western tea drinker, tea doesn’t need me. Not economically, not culturally, and certainly not spiritually. Indeed, there is something almost comically absurd about obsessing over tea here in America, thousands of miles from where it’s cultivated and revered, separated by a vast ocean both literal and cultural, although I’d like to think it’s kind of modern and cool too—bridging language and culture gaps digitally over a shared love for something truly good. But the economy and language of tea is quite happily percolating along in the countries where tea is produced, a brisk market of sales and consumption and obsession. Tea is not, like coffee, primarily an export crop. It’s more like wine—the cultures that grow it most revere it, and typically keep all the good shit close to home.  Indeed, as I understand it is only relatively recently that truly great teas from China and Taiwan have even been available for mass consumption in the United States. General access to premiere quality tea in America is a fairly new thing informed by the opening up of China’s flexible take on communism vis-a-vis small business growth, the linking of our world through the towering modern marvels of online shopping, international shipping (thanks China Post!) and global free trade.

Tea prices, trade wars, globalism: all of this is made possible by international commerce and the free movement of goods and services and ideas through international markets. Like coffee, tea is an unexpectedly and explicitly political product to consume in the best of times. And today? When these trade freedoms are imperiled by tariffs and racism and shudderingly incompetent political leadership? Drinking good tea in America right now is a profoundly political act, more so than at any time since the American revolution.

Tea doesn’t need the West but I think we need it. I think we could all stand to sit with this stuff as a regular part of our lives; not to replace coffee in the mornings, or instead of wine at night, but as a bridge and a complementary force alongside the other drinks we already love. Tea is a vast, bottomless, endlessly complex world of styles, producers, history, modern expression, accoutrement and idiosyncrasy. It is a lifetime—indeed, many happy lifetimes—of culinary inquiry. Drinking good tea can make your life better. Drinking good tea has definitely made my life better, made me a happier person and a more creative thinker, a better friend and colleague and partner. It has comforted me in times of sadness and tragedy, and I have celebrated good news with it, and it has been there for me as alacrity fuel of the highest order on plain old boring work nights.

I strongly recommend drinking a lot of good tea to anyone who wants to better know their own mind. Bathe your brain in theanine any possible chance you get. Think of it almost as like a performance-enhancing drug for your life.

I will end this essay by telling you a secret. I’m “the guy from Sprudge” which means that every so often at an event (be it family or promotional) someone expects me to make coffee. And I can do it serviceably well enough. I’m okay at it, but I don’t think I’m particularly great at it, or that I approach it with the easy confidence and muscle memory of a champion barista or anything. My coffee brewing prowess is nothing special, and I always kind of dread being asked, because it comes with a lot of expectations that frankly I’ve done nothing to deserve beyond stringing lots of flowery words together.

But I love making tea. Adore it, really. I love making it for myself, for my friends and family, for guests at our Sprudge offices in Portland, at parties or brunches or pretty much wherever. I love (and I mean love) the ceramics; I love the tactile change from dry to porous; I love the flavor variation across a long session; I love the steeping rhythm; I love the intimacy it creates, the way you really get to know someone somewhere between the fourth and seventh cup. Some of the very best conversations of my life have taken place over the last two years, with friends new and old, across a gaiwan.

My dream is that someday I will be able to give my own personal expression of gong fu cha to someone else and change their life, too, by opening their eyes and mind up to what tea can be, just as Peter Luong and Lina Medvedeva and Liquid Proust have done for me.

It’s the least I can do.

Jordan Michelman (@suitcasewine) is a co-founder and editor at Sprudge Media Network. Read more Jordan Michelman on Sprudge. 

Editor: Liz Clayton. 

All photos by Anthony Jordan III (@ace_lace) unless otherwise noted. The top image for this feature depicts a ceramic teascoop “chahe” from Russian ceramicist Anton Filonov, distributed in the United States by Liquid Proust. 

Sprudge Tea Week is presented by Breville USA.

The post Everything You Know About Tea Is Wrong appeared first on Sprudge.

seen 1st on http://sprudge.com

[mrwilliamcharley]

Everything You Know About Tea Is Wrong

It’s true! Everything you know about tea is wrong—or at least, if you’re me. I grew up on tea bags; I can still see them right now, a yellow box of Lipton tea bags, hanging out in the back of the middle shelf of the bank of cupboards in my mother’s kitchen. Maybe this article should have been titled “Everything Jordan Knows About Tea Is Wrong”—I apologize for making assumptions by using the royal you.

Until a very short time ago, tea was this very ancillary, secondary, overlooked thing in my life. I usually drank it (if I drank it at all) served as iced tea, sweetened of course if I was in the American South, or served dry as a bone over great hulking chunks of ice with a lemon wedge on that rare hot day in the Pacific Northwest, where I grew up. I didn’t take tea seriously—I ignored it on coffee shop menus, I didn’t make it for myself at home, I couldn’t really tell you anything about the various styles and varieties. I didn’t own a gaiwan or any tea-making gear, even at the entry level. I was oblivious to its many cultures and subcultures and rich history.

I was fucking up and I didn’t even know it.

And then very suddenly, everything changed. It started, like literally every major event over the last decade in my life, because of coffee. More specifically, because of a story I was assigned to write for Sprudge. We had noticed an uptick in tea quality at high-end cafes, specifically here in Portland, where the San-Francisco-based tea company Song Tea was showing up on the menu at a couple of the good local coffee bars. We started following Song and realized they were being placed in several well-respected cafes around the country. A hypothesis emerged.

In the early days of Sprudge you could tell if a coffee shop was any good just by the gear. If you walked into a coffee bar in 2009 and they had a La Marzocco and a Mahlkönig, you knew they likely gave a shit. Nowadays it’s harder to tell quite so easily, as the third wave coffee movement has exploded and things like gear and interior design have become more copycat. But maybe this tea brand was on to something; maybe Song was sort of like a third-party quality control vetting system, and that by only going into good coffee shops, we could look at them as a kind of hack. “If a cafe serves Song, they must be good.”

Photos from our 2016 interview with Peter Luong by Zachary Carlsen.

And so I went to San Francisco and interviewed Peter Luong, Song Tea’s founder, who grew up in his family’s tea shop and has been traveling for tea sourcing since he was a kid. You can read the interview here—it’s an okay interview, I think, and it helped turn more people on to the good work Peter is doing. But the subtext of that interview is what leads us here today. Because throughout it, while I asked Peter rudimentary questions about Song’s approach to tea in a coffee context, he was making tea the entire time. Teas like I had never, ever tried before—wonderful buttercream oolongs and chocolatey roasted tieguanyins, Cypress smoked black tea like a campfire jujube and endlessly complex Sichuan greens, all of it served in a procession of simple, stunning, utterly pleasurable teawares. Peter was serving me his own personal take on gong fu cha as I interviewed him, and honestly, it changed my life.

I left high. Floating. Tea drunk, tea stoned, whatever you want to call it. (Although if we really want to get into what psychotropic most mimicked by a sizable consumption of tea, I think it’s closest to a gentle microdose of psilocybin.) Blowing like a feather in the wind around Pacific Heights, with a laptop full of notes and no particular place to head next, clutching my backpack now full of teas for steeping back home.

And steep back home I did—pot after pot, with a strict 10:00pm cutoff so as not to mess with my sleep schedule, chasing the sensory memory of that incredible experience in San Francisco. I love a rabbit hole, a new world to explore, and tea—like coffee, and like natural wine—offered a vast and never-ending beverage culture to soak up like a sponge.

Tea quickly became a daily part of my creative and personal life. I found myself writing better, or at least writing more voluminously (which I know should not be mistaken for “better” but often feels like it) while consuming an ever-growing raft of teas. I started exploring different brands, seeking out interesting tea accounts on Instagram, pouring through websites big and small, from tea purveyors based in China to tea purveyors based a few blocks from my house. I started collecting teawares, began following talented ceramicists from around the world, and started—slowly at first—to begin making tea for others, as a form of expression for this new passion.

I also began traveling with tea in mind, seeking out tea experiences in different parts of the country and digging out time for tea alongside Sprudge’s busy travel schedule. An hour here, an hour there, ducking out of a festival on my lunch break or landing with an extra day to explore tea shops across a city. Along this path I started talking with the people who run these tea shops and bars, asking them about their own journeys with tea, their own perspectives on the drink and the multitudes it contains.

And through it all, I learned a couple of surprising things.

First, tea people are by and large kind to each other. I learned this first by haunting the Instagrams and Reddit forums for tea drinkers, and by taking on some local tea writing for the alt-weekly here in Portland, which got me into more and more local tea bars, begetting more and more happy, sunshiney, tea-stoned conversations. On the internet, and IRL, tea conversations appear at least to this outsider to be mostly full of positivity and kindness. It’s one of the nicest Reddits, which is really saying something, and on Instagram you have to look hard to find tea people being shitty to each other. I can assure you this is not always the case in coffee, and it is really not the case in wine.

Tea scoop and rest inside Floating Mountain. Photo by the author.

The notion of tea’s inherent kindness landed while I was sitting in a tea bar on New York’s Upper West Side called Floating Mountain, whose owner, Lina Medvedeva, escaped the world of Manhattan finance to open a serene, meditative, beautiful little second floor tea bar and gallery above W 72nd Street. Over a single pot of Phoenix Dan Cong (I can still taste its warm red comforting flavors now, months later writing this) we talked about her past life, her upbringing in Russia’s far east, near Vladivostok (“We grew up drinking tea like water”), and how Floating Mountain came to be. It was once a tailor shop, and today is imbued with the most glorious Manhattan light, streaming in through floor to ceiling windows, like an oasis of energy and calm in the middle of the city, just blocks from The Dakota and Central Park.

Lina’s gong fu cha is minimalist, with everything just so—nothing extravagant, nothing loud. A tea scoop from the Czech Republic, made from vitrified bogwood. A simple porcelain gaiwan. A glass water kettle. An hour became two, and I was then hopelessly late for my next appointment, but I remember asking: “Is it just me, or do tea people seem rather content? Like as a culture, it seems to be a pretty positive place…do you agree?”

“You can never know the inside of another mind,” she replied, “but the tea speaks. There isn’t much left to say.”

The house of Liquid Proust. Photo by the author.

A few weeks and a thousand miles later I sat for another tea experience, where I learned a lesson on tea’s power to transform our very souls. This time it was inside an unassuming house, on a nondescript street amongst a row of clapboard little boxes in suburban Columbus, Ohio. This is the home of Andrew Richardson, who goes by Liquid Proust on Instagram and runs a fast-growing digital tea company of the same name. His focus is on rare and aged teas, typically from Yunnan but also some truly remarkable oolongs from Taiwan and eastern China. His entire business and network of tea community happens online, and walking up to the house, you would never in a million years guess that inside it dwells one of the foremost young American collectors and distributors of vintage single-origin tea.

Nearly every surface inside of Andrew’s house is covered in tea: tuongs, satchels, bags, parcels, caddies, ceramic resting jars, wooden commemorative chests, boxes and boxes and boxes with China Post shipping labels affixed (oh, what the mailman must think!) and enough shipping material to ensure safe passage between here and Mars and back, Express Class. There is more tea in this house than one person could drink in a thousand lifetimes, though I suspect Liquid Proust would die happy trying. In his cluttered office (tea, tea everywhere) across an industrial minimalist metal tea table, Andrew brewed me a procession of increasingly rare and fine teas, and talked to me at length about his growing business.

Liquid Proust began as a side hustle from Andrew’s full-time job, which is as a business advisor and student in a corporate MBA program. He fell down a particular sub-section of the tea rabbit hole, chatting with tea purveyors in China and Taiwan and Malaysia using auto translate programs, assuming financial risk by purchasing lots–large and small–of vintage tea, and documenting all of it on Instagram. Today his website is an ever-changing array of tea offerings, collaborative buys and special lots, handpacked from his home in Ohio.

Tea has been a transformative force in Andrew’s life. “Tea has taught me to be accepting,” he told me. “I grew up in a very conservative religious family, and without tea, I think I be like… somebody totally different. A Christian conservative Trump supporter, most likely.” He grew up drinking Bewley’s tea bags with his family, he tells me sheepishly, and I can relate. As tea gained more and more prominence in his life, the old vestiges and relationships of his past life fell away. He fell into a new world of tea drinkers and tea lovers—diverse, international, accepting, kind. His doors are always open to fellow tea heads on the same journey.

“People come to this house from around the world,” he tells me, as we look over jar after jar, bag after bag, an entire living room given over to boxes to ship, every square inch of kitchen counter overflowing with tea from his remarkable collection. “We just start laughing together, and talking. It’s almost like drinking beer—if you drink enough tea you get silly after a while, and then you get to really hear about people’s lives, their views on religion and love, and who they truly are. I would have never had this conversation before—I would have never known you.”

Too soon I was back outside in the Ohio chill, waiting for a Lyft to take me back into the city, my bag and mind and heart crammed full to bursting with tea. I started crying in the back of the car.

As a Western tea drinker, tea doesn’t need me. Not economically, not culturally, and certainly not spiritually. Indeed, there is something almost comically absurd about obsessing over tea here in America, thousands of miles from where it’s cultivated and revered, separated by a vast ocean both literal and cultural, although I’d like to think it’s kind of modern and cool too—bridging language and culture gaps digitally over a shared love for something truly good. But the economy and language of tea is quite happily percolating along in the countries where tea is produced, a brisk market of sales and consumption and obsession. Tea is not, like coffee, primarily an export crop. It’s more like wine—the cultures that grow it most revere it, and typically keep all the good shit close to home.  Indeed, as I understand it is only relatively recently that truly great teas from China and Taiwan have even been available for mass consumption in the United States. General access to premiere quality tea in America is a fairly new thing informed by the opening up of China’s flexible take on communism vis-a-vis small business growth, the linking of our world through the towering modern marvels of online shopping, international shipping (thanks China Post!) and global free trade.

Tea prices, trade wars, globalism: all of this is made possible by international commerce and the free movement of goods and services and ideas through international markets. Like coffee, tea is an unexpectedly and explicitly political product to consume in the best of times. And today? When these trade freedoms are imperiled by tariffs and racism and shudderingly incompetent political leadership? Drinking good tea in America right now is a profoundly political act, more so than at any time since the American revolution.

Tea doesn’t need the West but I think we need it. I think we could all stand to sit with this stuff as a regular part of our lives; not to replace coffee in the mornings, or instead of wine at night, but as a bridge and a complementary force alongside the other drinks we already love. Tea is a vast, bottomless, endlessly complex world of styles, producers, history, modern expression, accoutrement and idiosyncrasy. It is a lifetime—indeed, many happy lifetimes—of culinary inquiry. Drinking good tea can make your life better. Drinking good tea has definitely made my life better, made me a happier person and a more creative thinker, a better friend and colleague and partner. It has comforted me in times of sadness and tragedy, and I have celebrated good news with it, and it has been there for me as alacrity fuel of the highest order on plain old boring work nights.

I strongly recommend drinking a lot of good tea to anyone who wants to better know their own mind. Bathe your brain in theanine any possible chance you get. Think of it almost as like a performance-enhancing drug for your life.

I will end this essay by telling you a secret. I’m “the guy from Sprudge” which means that every so often at an event (be it family or promotional) someone expects me to make coffee. And I can do it serviceably well enough. I’m okay at it, but I don’t think I’m particularly great at it, or that I approach it with the easy confidence and muscle memory of a champion barista or anything. My coffee brewing prowess is nothing special, and I always kind of dread being asked, because it comes with a lot of expectations that frankly I’ve done nothing to deserve beyond stringing lots of flowery words together.

But I love making tea. Adore it, really. I love making it for myself, for my friends and family, for guests at our Sprudge offices in Portland, at parties or brunches or pretty much wherever. I love (and I mean love) the ceramics; I love the tactile change from dry to porous; I love the flavor variation across a long session; I love the steeping rhythm; I love the intimacy it creates, the way you really get to know someone somewhere between the fourth and seventh cup. Some of the very best conversations of my life have taken place over the last two years, with friends new and old, across a gaiwan.

My dream is that someday I will be able to give my own personal expression of gong fu cha to someone else and change their life, too, by opening their eyes and mind up to what tea can be, just as Peter Luong and Lina Medvedeva and Liquid Proust have done for me.

It’s the least I can do.

Jordan Michelman (@suitcasewine) is a co-founder and editor at Sprudge Media Network. Read more Jordan Michelman on Sprudge. 

Editor: Liz Clayton. 

All photos by Anthony Jordan III (@ace_lace) unless otherwise noted. The top image for this feature depicts a ceramic teascoop “chahe” from Russian ceramicist Anton Filonov, distributed in the United States by Liquid Proust. 

Sprudge Tea Week is presented by Breville USA.

The post Everything You Know About Tea Is Wrong appeared first on Sprudge.

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Meet the Russia specialist who worked on 2 of Fusion GPS' most controversial projects Thomson Reuters Sen. Dianne Feinstein unilaterally released the Senate Judiciary Committee's interview with the cofounder of Fusion GPS this week. It introduced a new name into the Russia investigation: Edward Baumgartner. Baumgartner worked with Fusion on two projects that have garnered high-profile attention in recent months. Sen. Dianne Feinstein's unilateral release of the Senate Judiciary Committee's August interview with Fusion GPS cofounder Glenn Simpson was applauded by those who called it a win for transparency — and a nail in the coffin of GOP lawmakers' attempts to distract from the probe into potential collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia. Others, however, viewed the content of Simpson's testimony as validation of a talking point often repeated by President Donald Trump and his allies in the media and Congress: Fusion GPS was working both for the Russians and against Trump — albeit on separate projects — during the 2016 election. The accusation lacks the necessary nuance — Fusion was working for an American law firm, Baker Hostetler, that had been hired by a Russian holding company, Prevezon, as part of a money laundering case in New York's Southern District court. Baker Hostetler hired Fusion to look into the wealthy investor Bill Browder , who had told the Justice Department that Prevezon was implicated in a $230 million tax fraud scheme that was uncovered by Browder's tax attorney, Sergei Magnitsky, in 2008. The research Fusion did on Browder made it back to Baker and, inevitably, to Prevezon's Russian attorney Natalia Veselnitskaya. In late 2015, Fusion was hired by the Republican megadonor Paul Singer to work on an entirely separate project: opposition research on Trump. That research, according to Simpson's testimony, was done using open-source information and covered a wide range of subjects, including the Trump family's reported use of sweat shops in Asia and South America to produce Trump-branded merchandise. Christopher Steele , the former British spy who had spent decades on the Moscow desk at the UK's foreign intelligence service MI6, was not the only subcontractor Fusion hired to research Trump, Simpson said. But his research on Trump's Russia ties, conducted between June through December 2016, was arguably the most explosive . Once the timeline of Fusion's projects had been established, Senate investigators asked Simpson whether any of Fusion's employees or subcontractors worked on both the Prevezon and Steele projects. Enter: Edward Baumgartner Associated Press/J. Scott Applewhite Simpson told investigators that Edward Baumgartner, who has a degree in Russian language and runs his own consulting firm similar to Fusion (but with a focus on Russia and Ukraine) worked on both projects. Simpson said he had been impressed by Baumgartner's "knowledge of the region and his general abilities," which, for Fusion and Baker Hostetler, mostly involved discovery — gathering Russian language documents, reading media reports, and interviewing witnesses who speak Russian. "I don't speak Russian, I've never been to Russia," Simpson said. "So it would be ordinary course of business for me to identify a specialist who could supply me with that kind of specialized expertise." Baumgartner, who cofounded the UK-based intelligence consultancy Edward Austin in 2010, agreed with that characterization in an interview on Wednesday. "What I do is not a particularly radical or novel skill in London," Baumgartner said, referring to the large number of Russians that live and work in the city. "In the US, though, we're actually quite rare." Baumgartner, a fluent Russian speaker, said he was hired by Fusion to serve as "an interface" with Veselnitskaya, who does not speak much English. They worked "very closely" together in Washington and Moscow, Baumgartner said, reviewing documents and finding witnesses who could bolster Prevezon's case. He said he overheard Veselnitskaya speaking by phone to the Russian prosecutor, Yuri Chaika, several times in a way that struck him as being "friendly, like a family friend," rather than hierarchical. 'She never told me anything' Thomson Reuters Chaika's relationship with Veselnitskaya was heavily scrutinized last summer after Donald Trump Jr. released emails showing he had been promised incriminating information on his father's opponent Hillary Clinton from the "crown prosecutor of Russia" — an apparent reference to Chaika, Russia's current prosecutor general. Veselnitskaya attended a meeting at Trump Tower on June 9, 2016. She brought with her what she considered to be dirt on Clinton and the Democrats: a memo that suggested the American firm Ziff Brothers Investments — which she said had helped Browder illegally buy up Gazprom shares — had "financed the Hillary Clinton campaign." Trump Jr.'s eyes glazed over, according to one source familiar with the meeting. Trump's campaign chairman Paul Manafort and son-in-law Jared Kushner were similarly unimpressed, according to their own recollections of the rendezvous. It is not clear whether that was the only document Veselnitskaya brought to the meeting. But a memo that closely mirrored the one Veselnitskaya brought with her had been given by Chaika's office to US Rep. Dana Rohrabacher two months earlier , suggesting a degree of coordination between Veselnitskaya and the Russian government. Baumgartner, for his part, said the last time he met with Veselnitskaya face-to-face was sometime in early June — possibly the day of the Trump Tower meeting, but he couldn't recall the exact date. "She never told me anything about what was going on," Baumgartner said, referring to the Trump Tower meeting. "She's obviously very good at compartmentalizing." Veselnitskaya didn't tell Simpson about the meeting, either, according to his congressional testimony. "Natalia respected Glenn's work, but they rarely spoke to each other," Baumgartner said. "She never went to his office, and even if they did have a conversation, Anatoli would have had to translate it." Baumgartner was 'never made aware of' the dossier Mark Wilson/Getty Images Anatoli Samochornov is a US citizen who had translated for Veselnitskaya in court and for her lobbying group, the Human Rights Global Accountability Initiative Foundation. The Delaware-based NGO, which was founded in February 2016, has been lobbying to overturn the Magnitsky Act sanctions spearheaded by Browder. Baumgartner said that while he stopped dealing with Veselnitskaya in June 2016, his legal involvement with the Prevezon case formally ended in October 2016. By that point, he had been working with Fusion GPS on its election-related opposition research for about three months. "I was helping them on this other project, which was unrelated, and they mentioned it to me in July 2016," Baumgartner said, referring to the election-related research. "I was never made aware of Chris Steele's work or the dossier, and it was kept that way deliberately. I would have had nothing to add, anyway. I produce memos based on information that is in the public record that can be given to the feds or shared with journalists." Baumgartner declined to speak in detail about the election-related work he did for Fusion. But he said his responsibilities involved, among other things, writing reports that compiled "everything publicly known" about Trump campaign associates like Carter Page and Manafort. With regard to what Fusion told journalists about the research it had been doing throughout 2016, Simpson, like Baumgartner, said the firm discussed things with reporters that were already "in the public record." Specifically, he said, that included "open-source public information pointing towards the possibility that the Russians had infiltrated the Trump campaign." "So we spoke broadly to reporters and encouraged them to look into this," he told the Senate Judiciary Committee. 'They offer people business deals as a way to compromise them' Pablo Martinez Monsivais/AP Simpson went on in the testimony to describe in more detail how Fusion went about analyzing the raw intelligence Steele reported back to the firm from his sources in Russia and elsewhere. Page's trip to Moscow in July 2016, for example, was closely scrutinized by the firm following Steele's report that Page had met with Igor Sechin, the CEO of Russia's state oil company. Sechin, according to Steele's sources, had offered Page and his associates the brokerage of a 19% stake in the company in exchange for the lifting of US sanctions. "It comports with my knowledge, and Chris's knowledge, of how the Kremlin does this," Simpson told the committee. "Which is they offer people business deals as a way to compromise them." Sergei Ivanov, who served as Putin's chief of staff until August 2016,was managing the election interference operation, according to Steele's sources. "So w e looked into Carter Page and we also looked into Igor Sechin and whether Sergei Ivanov was in a position to be managing the election operation ... and we determined that he was," Simpson said. Steele was wary of being fed disinformation, Simpson told the committee. A central concern among those scrutinizing the overlap between Fusion's work for Prevezon and its Trump-related research was whether the Russians would catch wind of that project and plant disinformation to undermine it. Simpson said Steele was armed against those kinds of tricks. "What [Steele] said was: 'Disinformation is an issue in my profession, it is a central concern, and we are trained to spot disinformation," Simpson said. "'And if I believed this was disinformation, or I had concerns about that, I would tell you that. And I'm not telling you that. I'm telling you that I don't believe this is disinformation.'" NOW WATCH: Here are the 12 best Trump memes of 2017 January 13, 2018 at 02:21PM