#he's a symbol of hope that people put their faith and trust into

[t-u-i-t-c]

chapter xliv

[liittleemiixeer]

renato's route in wtc is so painstakingly beautiful, my heart bleeds for them. especially if nova is loyal to the others, that shit is on another level of angstiness...

[long rant ahead, as per usual lol]

This specific route and path (add moon heiress nova on top of that cus im a saddist) makes their relationship intense, fraught with emotional turmoil, and filled with moral ambiguity. However, it's so shocking to see stoic and composed renato succumb to anything nova asks him and even change his view on the Church. The main reason for that happening being, precisely, nova

Their connection is one of quiet desperation, forged in the concequences of a crumbling belief system. Both are torn between their deep-seated loyalty to the Church, which has shaped their entire lives, and their growing recognition that the Church's actions are deeply flawed. Nova, struggling with her own identity as a witch and spy, finds herself increasingly drawn to the priest, not only because he represents the faith she once held dear but also because he mirrors her own internal conflict. But she doesn't understand that renato's own change of mind was because of her. She was powerful enough to open his eyes without even sharing her thoughts explicitly. Her presence (no pun intended lol) alone awoke those doubts within him (rightfully so imo).

They are both painfully aware that their bond is forbidden, not just because of his vows as a priest and her role as a time catcher, but because it represents a betrayal of the very institution that has defined them. In addition, when he kneels before her to get closer to one another, he's symbolically placing himself on an equal level with her, rejecting the hierarchical structure that typically places him above Others, most probably. It's an act of humility, but also one of defiance against the constraints of his role as a priest. His disregard for his vow in this moment indicates that he is prioritizing his personal feelings and their connection over the rules and expectations of the Church. He even offered to pray together in the last update, fully aware that it's forbidden for Others to pray in churches. He was so needy for that contact with nova in this scene, he began sobbing in her arms. OH GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH!!!

They are irresistibly drawn to each other, finding in one another a reflection of their own doubts and hopes. Yet it's so painful to see their relationship oscillate between moments of tenderness and cold detachment, as both struggle with the knowledge that their love could destroy them. Renato's earlier confession about his doubts could be a pivotal moment, deepening their connection but also complicating it further, as nova now has to decide whether to trust him with the full truth that she has been discovered and that she actually feels relieved due to her newfound loyalty to Others... or continue her deception and risk putting him in danger due to the Incineration Alliance's mission.

I'm actually hopeful for him to finally see the wrongdoings of the Church and eventually choose to severe ties with them. This way, he can practice his faith freely without being bound to fake laws and feeling guilty about aiding them in harming people. Him and nova could finally be at peace with their minds and with each other.

[azure-cherie]

PAC : General messages for you

Hello loves , i hope you are doing well 🥰❤️ , choose with your intuition, take what resonates and leave the rest since this is a general pac , you can choose multiple and choose another if one doesn't resonate with you . Hope it helps 😉

⭑ࣶࣸ ֺ✦⸼࣪⸳ 𓂃 ⴰ ࣭͘ 🔮⭑ุ 𝁼 ✷⭑ࣶࣸ ֺ✦⸼࣪⸳ 𓂃 ⴰ ࣭͘ 🔮⭑ุ 𝁼 ✷⭑ࣶࣸ ֺ✦⸼࣪⸳ 𓂃 ⴰ ࣭͘ ⭑ุ 𝁼 ✷⭑ࣶࣸ ֺ✦⸼࣪⸳ 🔮𓂃 ⴰ ࣭͘ ⭑ุ 𝁼 ✷⭑ࣶࣸ ֺ✦⸼࣪⸳ 🔮𓂃 ⴰ ࣭͘ ⭑ุ 𝁼 ✷⭑ࣶࣸ ֺ✦⸼࣪⸳ 🔮𓂃 ⴰ ࣭͘ ⭑ุ 𝁼 ✷⭑ࣶࣸ ֺ✦⸼࣪⸳ 𓂃 ⴰ ࣭͘ 🔮⭑ุ 𝁼 ✷⭑ࣶࣸ ֺ✦⸼࣪⸳

Pile 1.

You are going to face some challenges soon however you should know that you're fully capable to face each one of them i feel the challenges are either financial or educational , you need faith the most this time and it will be provided by someone close to you , there is a chance of unexpected help coming to you , be mindful and beware you are manifesting great things , it's just the tower moment before the star arrives , keep pushing through you're almost their . Don't let your ego drive through this situation, listen to someone whom you can trust or listen to your own inner intuition. Your intellect is tested here , practice as much as you can , practice will give you everything, i think this pile also has people who have competitive exams soon , i keep hearing pomodoro technique, recapitulation etc , i also feel really sleep be mindful of your body sleep more , you can remember more that way , don't put so much pressure onto yourself. I feel some people here have been too protective with their resources it's like they never want to share what they have , spirit is telling you to be generous, the more you give the more you get . Like being a miser right now may lead to some financial instability later as a karma i feel, so like to use it correctly. For the other bunch of people i feel there's someone who is coming to aid your financial problems and give you support in that area . I get the message that some people here must change the layout of their door decoration like the elements i suppose , you can install some money attraction signs i feel , change your curtains and also your purse . Gift chocolates to your loved ones and consume walnuts . A deer symbolism is coming through as well . All the best loves.

Pile 2 :

As i start the pile i get the song lyric in my head " I am laughing on the outside crying on the inside coz I'm so in love with you " , i feel recently you have gone through a heartbreak or a breakdown of some kind like something has really shattered for you , however know that this ends here , you have a period of love and stability beyond but it starts with self love first , you will have to work on yourself and heal yourself then only the spirits will send someone to be in your vibration and stay with you or else you are going to attract energy vampires . You will soon earn a reward probably a promotion or a medal or trophy of some kind , it's all a result of your hardwork you deserve it love , you also should work on your mindset a bit , you have great things to receive don't block it by overthinking everything. You could get a new best friend they will be your ride or die and help you in every situation they are wiser and will fight anyone who tries to harm you . They could also be a familiar spirit or someone in the astral realm . Beware of infidel people , okay one second i feel though this friend of yours is coming in your life , in the astral realm it could also invite people who are into mischief and pretend to be your friend, you have to be careful of them , like be mindful who you are inviting, use your discernment, you need it now . Try doing some protection for yourself. There's so much celebration around like promotions, spiritual upgrades, even a birth of a child in your family ( i feel they could be the rebirth of some ancestor of yours ) . Btw your lashes are looking great and your skin needs some nourishment. You will be blessed with greater intuition and many great opportunities are coming your way for you to grab them hehe so happy for you .

Pile 3:

New opportunities are coming for you soon , some of you may buy a new house or restaurant , move to a new place or a new college i feel . For some of you a guru is coming to help you , maybe in your spiritual path you have met some weird people and that's why you have lost your faith in gurus however the next person is divinely sent and is here to help you , it could be an archangel as well . If you are waiting for initiation into a spiritual field you will be getting it soon , there could be shamanic experience for you in about 8 months to a year. Look at you getting the rewards for your hardwork look at your smiling face you deserve it all , i think your past good actions will be rewarded soon , your rewards were delayed or are being delayed because of your limiting beliefs , let them go and see it coming through. There's someone who is going to reconcile with you after a long time , i think you should stay away from them , they are just adding upto your busy life , you should be focused on your goals for now , i mean you can still let them in but are you ready to take the burden they bring. Pay attention to your dreams maintain a journal , they are so important to you right now , people have been communicating to you but because you have been kind of distracted you haven't been receiving the messages, take some time to immerse yourself into transcendental meditation i feel it will help . You are going to completely transform yourself it's going to be so good for you love . You're coming out of the period of stagnation and giving yourselves the world and wait wait you could get a partner as well , loves around the corner babes !!!!!! You could get married if you're also looking for it :) . Love love love for you.

Pile 4 :

Things have been chaotic for you lately and yes i feel someone has been trying to do magic on you for your downfall could be a young women who is really jealous of your success or your beauty, in the past you may have someone whom you both used to love and now they chose you over them so they are doing this to be resentful against you this also could be someone who is very jealous of your wealth. Some people around you feel you have let the success around you get to your head , you might have lost some friends you were genuine, you should ground yourself now . Good things are coming for you as well like new projects and investments . Something about jewellery youll be gifted soon, you can start a jewellery making business it will be successful i feel so . Even though the other person has been trying so hard to see you fall , the universe is saying you must learn to protect yourself, don't be unbothered do something about it soon it will help really , your hope is the way through, you will get through this , there are some losses and they are unavoidable, it's a rock bottom thing you have to reach in some sphere of your life , for example: your career field could flourish but the other fields are going to be in a low state , it could differ from person to person. You will go through minor conflicts, you really need protection, whoever is doing this against you wtf they're nasty as hell , they have a lot of power but idk why are they using it against you coz I feel this is affecting you in ways you don't even understand, you feel as if it's your karma but it's not it's actually ulterior forces . Surrender to the spirit and ask your guides or the gods you pray to for help , you could do some protection spells as well so it ASAP . The good thing here is after this ends , you will go through a major change in your life for the better , you will become a better person and will establish yourself more . I get you might buy a car soon , some of you could also get famous for your strength and for having a beautiful body like a modelling contract i guess . Sending hugs .

Thank you for reading 🧡 have a great day/night ahead ✨✨✨

[adragonsfriend]

The Perfect is the Enemy of the Good, Dooku Style

Finally reading Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi by @stonefreeak and it got me thinking about what Dooku could’ve chosen to do with his position on Serenno.

Instead of delivering hundreds of worlds into the power of corporate interests to accumulate the power necessary to start a galactic war, he could’ve set about unionising those dissatisfied worlds for greater voting power in the Senate. Attempted to organise a peaceful exodus from the Republic. He could’ve just focused on helping out Serenno. He could’ve used Serenno as a platform for advocacy or as a humanitarian (sentiantarian?) outpost in the outer rim—in maybe conjunction with the Jedi or with other charitable groups, whichever.

Nobody cries over Sidious doing bad things, because he’s not narratively presented as a person (in the movies at least)—he’s more symbolic than anything. But Dooku shares Anakin’s fate. He’s a person, a good person with values, relationships to other people, and a desire to help others, who does unspeakable things because he becomes attached to his own ideas of perfection. It’s not an individual he can’t face grieving (well. it is a little bit about Qui-Gon too), but his inability to build a perfect society (anakin has some of this too) that makes him unable to accept his own limitations or ask for help.

All the suggestions above—unions, allies, charities, etc—they all require working with others, trusting that other people want what you want, that hope and compassion are not relics of a dying age, but powerful things which persist regardless of whatever victories which cruelty thinks it has achieved (through Power I gain Victory).

Dooku’s perfectionism—with a little help from Sidious—convinces him he is alone in wanting to change things (Peace is a lie, there is only Passion), and that suffering, his own and others, is the only way to make the rest of the world understand how it needs to act (through Passion I gain Strength). It is an incredibly individualist, not to mention lonely, set of beliefs (through Victory my chains are Broken, the Force shall free me).

It all leads neatly to the propositions:

If i can just tear down enough of society, then i will finally have enough control I need—and deserve—to build something perfect in its place;

I—or the decisive, pragmatic leader i put all my faith in—am the only person who can exercise this power to fix everything;

Any goal less than fixing everything is unworthy, and people who claim otherwise are unworthy of being included in the perfection I will create.

He’s (parts of) both Anakin and the Republic Senate’s arcs a decade early and in a single character. Fascism in a bottle.

In conclusion, a show about Dooku’s radicalisation over time could say some incredibly insightful things about US politics—by which I mean the Republican Party in general, Trumpism, the struggle of Democrats to unify, etc. Such a show probably shouldn’t be made because it would get twisted into a “and that’s why poor baby Dooku is sad and deserves everyone’s bowing-and-scraping-sympathy,” thing (which is not to say radicalized people do not deserve compassion—in fact they require it, lest we circle back to make our own little fascism), but if it was made it should feature Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan narrating and heckling Dooku as time traveling force ghosts (in between seeking genuine understanding of the past through Dooku’s decisions) because calling him weird would I think have the about the same effect as calling US republicans weird is having right now.

[cursecuelebre]

The Anglo-Saxon Rune poem.

Now this isn’t the only rune poem in existence there is Norwegian and Icelandic rune poems. Now I prefer Anglo-Saxon and believe it to be more accurate but there’s nothing wrong with reading the Norwegian or Icelandic and choosing it. But these said poems won’t have all the runes associated with the poems even some extra Runes or less than of the traditional Aetts. But right now I’m focusing on a the Elder Futhark which is all included in the Anglo-Saxon poem at times different names and translations.

This poem is also Galdr and speaking the poems you’re essentially invoking and evoking them. Runes are very powerful letters and magical symbols that must be treated with high respect. Some can be dangerous to use like ᚦ. It’s also used for anyone who wants to study and learn the runes in depth, reading the poems can gather your own interpretation of them. Also the Anglo -Saxon includes a few extra runes. I recommend if you were to use the actual Anglo Saxon Runes look and study the runes because yes it is describing the same rune some don’t look like the Elder Futhark, for instance Ansuz (Elder Futhark) and Aesc (Anglo Saxon) are the same rune but different name or meanings. Anglo Saxons did recreate the Ansuz rune but just putting it out there just because I'm putting the Elder Futhark runes doesn't equal to what that Anglo Saxons used.

ᚠ᛫ Feoh or Fehu - Cattle are compensation for everyone though each man shall greatly share his if he will be awarded honors from his Lord.

ᚢ ᛫ Ur or Uruz - Aurochs is brave and has horns above, this very firece animal fights with its horns, a great wanderer of the moors, it is a proud creature.

ᚦ ᛫ Thorn or Thuriaz - Thorn/Hawthorn is exceedingly sharp for every servant seizing it is evil, and it is extremely harsh to each man who rests among it.

ᚨ᛫ Os or Ansuz - The God is the creator of all language, wisdom's foundation and consolation of sages and everyman's joy and trust.

ᚱ ᛫ Rάd or Raidho - The Ride up to everyman's hall is comfortable and very fast for he who sits high on a mighty horse over the miles.

ᚲ ᛫ Cen or Kenaz - Torch/Pine is a tree known by all for its flame, shining and brilliant it often burns where people relax within.

ᚷ ᛫ Gyfu or Gebo - A Gift from other it is an honor and praise, a help and of worth and for sojourners everywhere a benefit and presence that is otherwise missing.

ᚹ ᛫ Wynn or Wunjo - A Joy possesses him who knows little want, illnesses, sorrows, and himself has prosperity and happiness and also a sufficient dwelling.

ᚺ ᛫ Hagal or Hagalaz - Hail is the whitest of seeds it's circling comes from the lofty sky, it tosses in the wind's shower, it then becomes water after words.

ᚾ ᛫ Nied or Nauthiz - Need is oppressive on the heart although it often befalls this affliction of men to help and to heal somewhat, if it is heard beforehand.

ᛁ ᛫ Is or Isa-Ice is extremely cold, very slippery, it glistens clear, like precious gems, a floor wrought by frost, fair thing seen.

ᛃ ᛫ Gear or Jera - Year is mankind's joy, when the God bequeaths, ruler of the sacred sky, the earth offers splendid crops for the wellborn and poor.

ᛇ ᛫ Éoh or Eihwaz - Yew is a rough tree on the outside, hard and secured in the earth, keeper of the fires, sustained by deep roots, it is a pleasure to have one one's land.

ᛈ ᛫ Peorth or Pertho - Gaming is always sport and laughter where boastful, they sit to make war in the banquet hall cheerfully together.

ᛉ ᛫ Eolk or Algiz - Elk-sledge is native to the marsh, it grows in the water, it can wound cruelly, the blood of any man burns who in anyway seizes it.

ᛋ ᛫ Sigel or Sowelio - The Sun for sailors is always hoped for when they depart over the fishes' bath, until their ship carries them to land.

ᛏ ᛫ Tir or Tiewaz - The North Star is one signal, it holds faith well with nobles, it is always on track, throughout night's darkness it never deceives.

ᛒ ᛫ Beroc or Berkana - Birch is without fruit it bears even so, it bears shoots instead of fruit, its branches are beautiful, high in the treetops decorated attractively, laden with foliage, lofty passage.

ᛖ ᛫ Eh or Ehwaz - Horse is for lords the joy of the aristocracy, horse hooves boastful, where around the hero, prosperous in respect to horses, it exchanges discourse, and its restlessness is ever to help.

ᛗ ᛫ Mann or Mannaz - Person with joy is beloved of his kin, even though each one depart away for moreover the lord wills his fate, the destitute flesh be delivered to the earth.

ᛚ ᛫ Lagu or Laguz - Water seems of endless length to people, if they must venture on unstable ships, and the sea waves terrify them exceedingly, and the ship does not heed its reins.

ᛜ ᛫ Ing or Ingwaz - Lord Ing was first seen among the east Danes it is said, until he later went back over the sea, his chariot following after, thus the brave men named that hero.

ᛞ ᛫ Daeg or Dagaz - Day is the god's ambassador beloved of men, the great god's light, Mirth and also hope, prosperous and poor, all enjoying it.

ᛟ ᛫ Ethel or Othila - Home is very dear to all people if there they have the opportunity to for justice and honesty while enjoying prosperity in the dwelling most often.

-------------------------------------------------

Additional runes to the Elder Futhark set

Ac - Oak is on Earth for the children of men, meat-animal's fodder it travels often over the gannet's bath, the sea tests whether the oak possesses noble truth. (The rune looks like F but the small arm on top is hooked like a check mark or small v and the bottom one is slanted like Ansuz.)

Aesc - Ash Tree, is lofty, glorified by men stiff in its trunk, it holds its position exactly, although it fights against many men. (I explained at top, this rune looks exactly like the Elder Futhark Ansuz - ᚨ)

Yr - Bow is for noble men and warriors everywhere joy and a more of distinction upon a fair horse, steadfast on its course , a part of the war gear. (This Rune is ᚢ but with a small line in between the legs)

Ior - Beaver is a river fish, and although he resides there, he forages there on land he had a fair dwelling, water surrounding that place he joy fully holds dear. (This rune is a straight line vertically with a X in the middle of the line)

Ear - The Ground is loathsome to all men, yet certainly the body will e set upon there, the corpse grows old, the soil accepts its pale bed-fellow, it leaves fall, pleasure depart, men cease to be. (This rune looks like ᛏ but the two small arms are hooked that look like small Vs or check marks)

And that’s it! I do recommend reading other translations and the other rune poem, at times different translations can be worded much better and help to understand a lot better. If you don’t really like the rune poem on this blog there’s nothing wrong either checking out Norwegian or Icelandic rune poems and to see if it will help you better!

[farfromstrange]

Do No Harm

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: The Bolter

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Summary: Matt goes to confession to put some things into perspective (at least one that makes sense to him), and you battle demons of your own, though it is only one of you who has their heart broken in the end.

Warnings for this chapter: ANGST, self-hatred/doubt, religious imagery & symbolism, graphic mentions of past domestic abuse, PTSD, heavy allusions to past sexual assault, Matt is a dick (sorry)

Word Count: 3.6k

A/n: Long time no see. This is kind of a double POV situation because I'm writing from both perspectives, so I didn't want to put in too many details because the next few chapters are going to be full of angst and character development. I hope you still like it.

Read Chapter 13: The Bolter here on AO3!

The grounds of Clinton Church vibrate at the ringing of the bell. It travels through the stained glass window, through Mary and Joseph, and Jesus nailed to the cross above the altar. 

Matt sits with his head bent in the third row. He’s not praying. He wouldn’t even know where to begin. No prayer in the world could erase the guilt he harbors inside. No prayer in the world could cleanse the thoughts he is plagued with. And no prayer in the world could exorcize you from his mind. 

To him, hurting you is vile, but the vile thing seems to be the only plausible choice in this scenario. 

Claire was right. Her voice keeps going in circles around his head, eating into his brain like a parasite. He should have never pursued anything other than distance with you. 

He was selfish to think the two of you ever had a fighting chance. As long as Matt pretends to be only one thing when he is also another, you only have a chance of getting hurt. No matter what he chooses to do, you will end up in the crosshairs of whatever mess he has gotten himself into now, or you will end up hating him for lying to you about his true identity, or both. You will be heartbroken either way. That’s his purgatory. 

It’s pure torture to know he was of sound mind when he made those decisions. You shared secrets of your past with him that must have been so hard for you to utter aloud to a man you’d only just met. And what did he do? He betrayed your trust in him, and he was aware of how wrong it was from the start. Foggy told him he deserved to be happy, but how could he search for happiness at the cost of someone else’s? Matt has dug his own grave. 

No matter what he does, you will be disappointed and hurt, and he will curse himself until the day he dies for making the same mistake time and time again without learning a single fucking thing. 

“Matthew?” Father Lantom asks from behind. 

He lifts his head, the light of the prayer candles reflecting off his glasses. “Father,” he says. “You have a moment?” 

“For confession?”

“No.”

Matt can sense the heaviness of Father Lantom’s breath. “Alright,” he murmurs, seating himself on the bench behind him. “What’s on your mind?”

Matt chuckles. The sound is bitter enough to poison the air he breathes. “I’ve been wondering, you know, about what I do and… and how I do it. The choices I made. The people I’ve dragged into my mess. My faith,” he says, fidgety fingers playing with the fabric of his trousers. “And I realized that… that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to do the right thing, the… the people around me will always end up getting hurt. ‘Cause of me.”

The silence that follows his admission echoes in the space around them and screams in his ear. He tilts his head; the priest’s heartbeat doesn’t waver, only a slight hitch in his breath as he moves suggests that he is contemplating his next words wisely.

Finally, Father Lantom clears his throat. “Well, that’s certainly a sinister take on things, don’t you think?” he says. 

Matt scoffs. “Sinister?”

“Yeah. I mean, I… I’ve known you for long enough to know you’re not malicious. Where is this coming from, Matthew? ‘Cause I’m not sure I believe you came to that conclusion all by yourself.”

“Does it matter?”

Another moment of silence follows. Matt still isn’t sure what he is hoping to get out of this. He’s stuck running in a hedge maze of his own making, and there is no way out. 

Father Lantom picks up the lost words, dusts them off, and says, “It obviously matters to you or you wouldn’t be here.”

Matt tightens his grip on his cane. “Chaos is seeping into every aspect of my life, and I can’t stop it. I can’t…” he trails off, exhaling a puff of air through his nose. “I’ve already dragged one innocent person into this, Father,” he says, barely above a whisper. “But if I break her heart, then…”

“Her?” the priest asks. 

“She doesn’t know what I do, but if I keep lying to her…” He shakes his head and lowers it back toward the floor. “She isn’t safe. Either way, she’s gonna get hurt, and it’s gonna be my fault. How can I… how can I do that to her?” 

Father Lantom pinches the bridge of his nose. “There’s clearly a lot to unpack here, but it’s not something that can be fixed by confession or a few Hail Marys.”

“I know.”

“It’s a deeply personal matter, Matthew. I don’t know...” He takes a moment to collect his thoughts. “I don’t know how to help you. If you want me to tell you to sabotage your life, I’m sorry but I can’t do that.”

Matt exhales a heavy sigh. He knows it’s not something he should ask of his priest. It’s an immoral plea. 

“Have you considered–”

“I’m not gonna stop,” he cuts him off. 

Father Lantom sighs. “Alright, well, does she make you happy?” he asks.

“Doesn’t matter,” says Matt. “The more she knows, the more she will be in danger.”

“Yeah, but you also said she’d be in danger regardless, so… does she make you happy?”

The words refuse to go over his lips. All he manages is a small nod, almost defeated, almost embarrassed that yes, he did feel happier the few times he was with you.

“Could you make her happy?” he asks.

Matt is faster with his response this time. “No,” he says. “Not the way she deserves.”

He doesn’t have to read you like an open book to know the kind of person you are because you wear your heart on your sleeves, and your soul neatly locked away in a maximum security prison. The very thing that makes you who you are could cut him open like a sharp knife if he ever dared to touch it. 

You deserve someone who can pry those bars open, someone who makes you happier than you grew up thinking you deserve. You deserve someone who stays, and someone who doesn’t lie to you. And you deserve someone who can make sure you stay unharmed, always, not add to the risk by putting you in danger. 

Matt can’t deny that he is going to miss you terribly. You’re not the kind of drug he can wash out of his system in a few days. You have left your mark on him, and that torture will be his personal hell for a while; but God would curse him either way. 

Father Lantom opens his mouth to speak, but Matt pushes himself off the bench with the help of his cane. The dull ache in his lips is a cruel reminder of last night’s activities and all that came before to land him here. The dumpster, Claire, and the kidnapped little boy he only barely managed to bring to safety. The memories flash through his mind like the sound of a million blaring alarms. 

“I have to be in court soon,” he says. “Have to convince a jury that a murderer is innocent.”

While Foggy expects him to be on time, it is a pathetic excuse to run from the situation he put himself in. 

Father Lantom gets up, but other than a slight tinge of disappointment he doesn’t seem that surprised. “You know, you can’t run from your problems forever,” he remarks.

“I’m not.” Matt buttons his suit jacket back up. “I know what I have to do.”

As he walks up the aisle toward the bustling of the city, Father Lantom’s voice sounds from behind, “I hope you don’t regret it.”

“Thank you, Father,” he says. Matt doesn’t turn around, his cane steadily tapping against the stone floor until the sun kisses his cheeks, and the wooden doors fall shut behind him.

The sun has long set over the city of New York when you trade the scrubs and the white coat for a faux silk dress. As you look in the mirror though, you know very well that it is not the dress making you uncomfortable; if it were, the feeling would have passed with the countless times you tried to change into something else, even a pair of sweatpants, but nothing seemed good or adequate. 

You spent hours pacing the floor of your apartment, wondering, questioning what you’ve done. You keep thinking to yourself, ‘I can’t do this,’ as if you had the guts to change anything about it. 

At the first taste of the truth, you run like it’s a race. History will always repeat itself just because the one time that you should have bolted, you stayed. 

You convinced yourself that it was okay. Moments of abuse looked like accidents to you even as they were happening. You kept telling yourself that it wasn’t all bad and if you just obeyed, he would love you. You bowed to him, at first, because you thought you loved him and he loved you back, and you found a pathetic excuse for everything he did, but eventually you only bowed to him to protect yourself. 

You couldn’t run. You would have if you had known from the very first time you laid eyes on him, but he had an aura that drew you in—an aura that almost killed you in the end.

With hollow eyes glued to the mirror, you slide a finger over the silk on your body. He used to buy you dresses. For the longest time, you thought it was a token of love. He always did it in a way that made you feel special. 

“A beautiful dress for a beautiful woman,” he used to say. You remember all too well how your heart would skip a beat, and you would smile while covering the ghastly black bruise around your eye with as much makeup as you could. 

He wanted to control you. You were a dog on a leash; all that was missing was a collar around your neck, and even that you would have accepted. Because you were in love. Because you were terrified of disappointing him. Because you were terrified of punishment. 

And when he wanted you spread out and complicit in bed, you complied, too, for even a sliver of affection hidden underneath the sting of his palm against your cheek was enough for you to feel a twisted sense of love. 

Now you know that you were stuck in codependency, associating love with abuse. But the pieces he took, a lot of them, at least, you will never get back. 

A beautiful dress for a beautiful woman. You bury your face in your hands. “Shut up!” you snap at your reflection. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Your head pounds with every directed slap against your temples. 

He split your memories in two and twisted them. If you smashed your head into the mirror, would the same happen? If you abused yourself like he did—even more than you are doing with the constant self-sabotage—would you be able to forget? 

No. You picked this dress yourself. You bought it with your own money, and you decided to put it on. You chose to ask Matt out. You wanted to. No one else had their hand in that. 

Bolting from him now may forever drive him away. Perhaps running would be for the better though. Showing up tonight would mean breaking into a million pieces. Showing up would mean that you could imagine there to be more, and you’re only excellent fun until one gets to know you. You would much rather hibernate in a cocoon of loneliness until the day your ashes get flushed down the drain because no one will be there to pick them up.

Whether it was your choice or someone else had a play in you developing a crush on a stranger you met in the halls of Metro General doesn’t matter because no matter how you twist and turn it, doing the right thing for yourself feels wrong.

You grab your phone from the dresser with shaky fingers. The screen is void of any messages, not even a phone call to be found. After two years, were you wrong about Claire? She pushed you out of your comfort zone just to abandon you. That isn’t like her, but neither is lying to you, moving into your co-worker’s apartment with a cat she is highly allergic to, and telling you some half-assed story about a guy named Mike. 

She was there for you when you needed her, always. She kept you alive these past two years. If it hadn’t been her in the emergency room that night you first met her, you wouldn’t even have a job now. It’s killing you that in your moment of need, she is nowhere to be found. 

You dial her number again, but you’re met with the familiar robot in charge of her mailbox. You decide to leave one last message after the beep.

“If I wasn’t so worried about you, I’d be fucking furious,” you ramble on as you pace the floor. “No, you know what? I am fucking furious! You told me to go out with this guy, and then you’re suddenly too good to answer the phone when I need you. I’m terrified, Claire, and I just need my best friend to hold my hand.” A sob breaks loose from your throat. “You know, I’m so mad that you feel like you can’t talk to me after everything we’ve been through. And I’m disappointed because whatever it is, we would have found a way,” you say. “But… what you’re doing isn’t fair. It’s not. And I’m not gonna ask you to call me back this time because if you can’t find it in yourself to at least answer my texts, I don’t know if I want to hear from you. I—”

The automatic voice on the other end cuts you off. “Sorry, the maximum recording time has been reached,” it says. “Please try and keep your message short, and call back.”

You scream into the silence of your apartment, tossing the device across the room. You don’t care if it breaks. All of this effort and for what? You’re on your own, you always have been. But that means you can’t define yourself by what someone else has done to you. You can’t give into the fear, hoping Claire will magically come and save you from the debilitating voice in your head. Her bandaids won’t fix you—you have to do that yourself.

You pour yourself a shot glass of Whisky in the kitchen, staring at your reflection again. The looming shadow behind you fades to gray. 

“Fuck you,” you mutter. All those who disappointed you can go fuck themselves.

You’re going to meet Matt at the restaurant. You’re going to have a good time, and you’re going to pretend, just for tonight, that things might actually turn out okay.

A few brushstrokes under your eyes get rid of the tears, and you bring some color to your cheeks by pinching them a dozen times. You brush your teeth three times, hoping to bleach the alcohol from your lips with an overdose of mouthwash. All you can rely on is scent.

He picked a fancy place for you to eat. You’re surprised when the cab drops you off on a corner street, yet enchanted by the fairy lights that frame the entrance. Your heart is beating so far up your throat you can taste it—or maybe it’s the iron of your blood from where you bit your lip. 

You like to think that the thought of spiting Claire gave you the courage to show up, but the anger in your veins is quickly placed with an irrational fear of the unknown. Your knees buckle when you set foot into the venue, memories of the last time in a fancy restaurant flashing through your mind. So romantic, such a dream, only for it to turn into a nightmare. What is the probability of that happening again? 

Instead of panicking, you picture Matt’s face in the soft glow of candlelight. It would accentuate his dimples, you’re sure. And when he talks in that mellow voice of his, it’s as though he is wrapping his arms around you. 

You make it inside and to your table without taking off in the opposite direction. It’s a Friday night, and the place is barely busy. 

A few minutes after six, you think, he will be showing soon. No need to order a drink without him. He was punctual the last time, so he must already be on his way—right?

‘Already inside, waiting for you,’ you text him. ‘I’ll see you when you get there.’

You’re not in a rush. 

Fifteen minutes after six. Chances are his cab or Uber got into traffic. ‘You okay?’ you decide to ask anyway. You can never be too careful. 

Couples are seated around various tables, laughing and talking the night away. Good wine is flowing in every corner. The waiters bring our food that, on any other day, would make your mouth water. You’re so nervous, hunger is the last thing on your mind. Nervous, excited, it is all the same to you. 

Another five minutes pass. You’re not proud of checking your phone every five minutes. Everyone around you is so carefree, so why can’t you be? You’re an adult on a date, and that’s a wonderful thing to celebrate. Being late happens to the best of people—right?

You convinced yourself you could do this, and now you’re falling into old patterns: excusing the most suspicious behavior in favor of the other person. At six-thirty though, a sense of doom begins to settle over you like a dark cloud.

‘Hello?’ you text him again. ‘Are you on your way yet? I’m getting worried.’

Realization is slithering up your esophagus like a snake. You don’t want to admit it. 

The waiter comes over again and asks, “Are you sure I can’t get you anything, Miss?” 

You look up at him. “Um, maybe a glass of red wine?” 

“Of course.”

He smiles at you and leaves. You watch him disappear into the kitchen, then direct your gaze back to the entrance. Matt is nowhere to be seen.

The snake crushes your esophagus and breaks through the barrier of your rose-colored glasses. 

It’s six-forty-five now. One glass of wine after another lands on your tab. The snake smothers you with every drink you take. Question marks and desperate ‘Call me!’ texts dominate your chat with him. Claire did the same to you. 

You can’t breathe. The tears burn like hell behind your eyes, but can’t cry in front of strangers. They would know that you waited to get disappointed. 

He’s not coming, you realize. Matt stood you up.

You were wrong about him. So fucking wrong. All this thinking he was a good guy to make yourself feel better for being desperate. He got your hopes up, then left you at the restaurant, drowning your senses in liquor so you wouldn’t have to feel the marble of your heart getting crushed by a wrecking ball. 

That is what you get for having faith in a man who made you feel things you thought had died. It’s the very thing that gets you. You opened yourself up; you felt happy for the first time in years, and he decided to tear it from you with his bare hands. He didn’t even have to be there to set your world on fire. 

Why is everyone suddenly out to disappear on you? 

“Because you’re an infection,” the voice pipes up in the back of your mind. “You were born to kill everyone around you.”

Glasses clink, people chatter; the noise grows louder and louder until it shatters. 

“Unlovable.”

The world might just be better off without you, after all.

In the distance, on a rooftop across the enchanting fairy light front, the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen listens to your heart breaking. No, it’s Matt. His mask is resting only against his forehead as he listens to the familiar rhythm start to race. 

The way you’re breathing causes the sobs to echo in your lungs, and he hears every single one of them. You’re ashamed to be the fool he made of you. You’re entire body is vibrating with hurt and hunger to the point you might explode, and Matt knows he royally fucked up. He fucked up, and he did it on purpose, which is the worst part of it all. 

There is not enough penance he can do to make up for what he just did. He couldn’t even salvage it if he tried. Staying away from you is one thing, but deliberately breaking your heart while he is listening like a sadist in the making truly does show to him that he only has the devil in him. 

“Could I get the bill, please?” he hears you ask the waiter, your voice thick with unshed tears. 

You pay for what you had to drink, even leave a generous tip he would have paid if he had shown up, and then you step back out into the cool night air. Matt tilts his head. You smell of alcohol and despair. How many glasses of wine did you have?

A car honks. You’re inebriated. For a moment there, his heart stops. You manage to step out of the way before the passing car can hit you, but the driver curses you nonetheless. 

“Sorry,” you mutter before finally getting into the nearest cab. 

While he’s putting on his mask, you’re crying in the backseat on your way home, and it kills him most to know that he did this to you.

Tag List: @shiorimakibawrites @allllium @siampie @auroraslibrary @roseallisonparker @abucketofweird @thatonegamefish @capylore @kniselle @sumo-b98 @peachstarliight @danzer8705 @kakamixo @littlehappyperson @atemydadforbreakfast @stevenknightmarc @zheezs14 @shouldbestudying41 @kiwwia-wiwwia @writtenbyred @echo-ethe @kezibear @peterbarnes @littleagxs

[lix88888]

Flowers

It was Ink's idea, because if course it was. Dream thought it was terribly endearing of him, to always propose little ways to show their love. The three of them couldn't go a week without the artist putting an arm on their shoulders and going "Hey, wouldn't it be nice if..."

This was one of his cutest to date, though. Dream sighed happily as he reached Ink's house (they had moved in together a few weeks ago, but Dream still felt hesitant to call it theirs), gently knocking and then opening the door.

Blue and Ink were already there, Ink bouncing off the wall in excitement while Blue watched him with fond amusement as he sat at the living room table. There was an empty vase on it, and given the rainbow splashes Ink was the one who made it.

"Dreamy!" he shouted, coming closer and hugging him, then pecking him on the cheek and pulling him to the table by his hand.

"Come on come on come on!" his pupils were a pink heart and a star "I can't wait anymore!"

Blue, meanwhile, had already pulled out a chair for him. "Ink, let him breathe!" he said with a laugh "We're all excited!" "I know, I know! It's just that- Ah, I just want to see all of the flowers!"

Dream sat down, grabbing Blue's hand while not letting go of Ink's, and laying a kiss on each. Yes, Ink had been the one to suggest the idea, but Dream and Blue too had quickly been taken by it: each of them had to gift a bouquet of flower to one of the others, using flower language as a guide, and then the three different flower arrangements would be put together. A nice, sweet symbolism.

"I know I came last, but can I start?" Dream asked. He was very proud of his choice of flower. "Sure!" Ink shouted "But only if I'm next!" "I don't mind being last." "Perfect!"

Dream opened his inventory and brought out a bouquet of irises: the flowers were a vibrant baby blue, the same shade as Blue's eyes, and offered it to him.

"For you, Blue, irises" he said, watching as his lover held the bouquet and gently hugged it to his chest "They represent faith, trust, wisdom, hope, and valor. All things I see in you every day, and that you inspire in people, and that I love about you."

By the time he was finished, Blue's cheek were colored a very pretty azure shade, only eclipsed by his blinding smile and his overwhelmingly joyful aura. "Oh Dream, this is so sweet..."

There was a couple of seconds of silence, then Ink said: "Well, I fell kinda dumb now." The Protector took out his own bouquet from his inventory and gave it to Dream, his pupils a yellow star and a green square "These are yellow tulips: they mean sunshine in your smile. I thought they were kinda neat, given that you're... well, you're like the sun. And yellow, like happiness."

Now it was Dream's turn to blush. Despite Ink's claim, his simple reasoning was not at all bland or unoriginal. Though... "Let me guess" Dream said with a giggle "you thought of this flower first, and the idea later."

Ink's amused shrug was the only answer Dream needed. Then, he gasped and turned to Blue.

"Now it's my turn! What are my flowers?!"

Blue delicately set down his irises, then grabbed a pink bouquet from his inventory and offered it to Ink, his aura composed in equal part of love and thoughtfulness.

"These" he said, putting his hands over Ink's own "are pink carnations: it means I'll never forget you."

And oh, Ink's face was indescribable: there was so much emotion in those pupils, going through so many shapes and colors.

"Wow... thanks." "Now" Blue said "The best part."

He grabbed his bouquet back, removing the paper around it and raising it at chest height. Dream and Ink followed suit, and then the three of them put all of the flowers together in the vase.

The blue, the yellow and the pink complimented each other so well.

@starsanspolyweek

[marvel-starwarsfangirl]

Ep. 13 "Into the Breach" Review

This was another fantastic episode that packs so much into its 25 minute runtime. Seriously, the finale better be like an hour. I feel like there's so much we have to address, yet so little time. My faith in you doesn't waver Jennifer; you've guided us through thick and thin. I will say that Rampart is surprisingly a really fun character to revisit and I enjoy watching him interact with the Batch. This man doesn't learn, but he's funny now so I give him kudos for entertainment purposes. I loved the dark atmosphere as the finale draws nearer and near. This is the end of the Bad Batch. We know it and they know it.

As usual, spoilers below:

MAMA ECHO RETURNS!!! After so long, he graces us with his appearance and he serves. I loved everything from his action sequences to his sass. Watching him sneak around the Imperial ship, rolling off of crates and working his magic was awesome to watch. That's why he's the Arc Trooper. And boy was he funny too. If it were possible, Rampart would've definitely be set on fire. Between being told he was being demoted to being denied the title of "sir," Rampart was demolished by Echo. It's just so good to see Echo again. I love him so much for his kind heart, quips, and awesome action sequences. The writers delivered!

Rampart, Rampart, Rampart... what will we do with you? He certainly hasn't changed and probably never will. But honestly, I kinda hope he doesn't. Sometimes, people are just aholes who do the right things for the wrong reasons. Rampart provides an interesting moral perspective. And he's still hot. Seeing him cleaned up in the uniform didn't help either. I'm a simple woman guys. He's also hilarious and I love it. Rampart's ego is so big that he unintentionally comes across as whiny and comical. Going forward, I seriously wonder what they'll do with him because he's going to Tantiss. Will he get dropped off? Sell the Batch out? Die in the battle that is to come? Next week will tell. I'm glad he was brought back though. He did his job as a villain well. Now, we get to see him in different situations and it's fun.

Omega, my sweet bean, hang in there. This episode does so well in establishing just how much she's grown over the past few seasons. Omega's always been resourceful and clever. Seeing her scheme to escape the Vault was exciting. You can also see the influence her brothers, particularly Hunter, have had on her. Omega's become more confident and mature. She's a leader in every sense of the word. The other kids look to her for guidance as she plans an escape. I also want to give the other kids a huge hug; I can't imagine what it must be like for them. It's one of the darkest things we've ever seen in Star Wars. Also, Emerie and Scalder rivalry definitely is gonna end with Emerie's true motivations being discovered. Scalder's not gonna let her allow Omega to slip away.

And seeing the boys strip their armor of all their color... that was legitimately heartbreaking to watch. I see it as a symbol of finality. There is no going back once they get to Tantiss. Hunter's "negative" just cements that. The last 5 minutes of the episode were so tense as the boys hitched a ride. As a my discord friend put it, "all roads lead to Tantiss."

There were a lot of smaller moments I enjoyed too. Wrecker was pretty funny this episode. Crosshair and Hunter voicing their trust in Echo was sweet. It furthers just how much the Batch truly trust and know each other. It's that implicit trust that makes me love their dynamic so much.

Anyways, that's all for now. We're truly in the endgame guys. After so long, we've finally made it to Tantiss. All that's left is to get Omega, the children, and escape which is so much easier said than done. I'm so scared yet excited for what's to come. See y'all next week!

[winter-leftovers]

Til The End Of Eternity || Chapter seven Forget me not (7/?)

(Douxie Casperan x f!reader)

Summary: Y/n is trying to figure her life out but is going to be hard since her brother is the new trollhunter and she is plagued by dreams and feelings she doesn’t understand.

Chapter Summary: Y/n and Douxie go on a date. Barbara is worried about her children.

Word count: 2004

Warnings: nono

(Season 1 Episodes 11/12/13)

Song?: Los caminos de la vida by Vicentico

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Masterlist

Myosotis, commonly known as “forget-me-not”, symbolizes hope for everlasting love, remembrance, true and enduring love, trust, and faithfulness.

Y/n looked at herself in the rusty mirror for what it felt like the thousandth time, while she brushed her hair with her fingers.

After Douxie left, time seemed to change. Her shift went so fast and so slow at the same time. She felt her stomach turn like the chicken she had for lunch. Her body and her mind couldn’t believe she had a date with the only person who could make her nervous: Douxie.

She stepped back and saw Jim’s old Gun Robot shirt. She cursed herself for choosing today to use it.

“I think you should clean yourself up before coming to work, you know?” Randy joked from the door of the small bathroom.

“Not funny” Y/n twirl around judging her outfit, again.

“Where’re you going?”

“Douxie invited me for coffee” she mumbled.

“What?” Randy put a hand on his ear and got closer.

“Douxie invited me to get coffee after my shift” she said a little louder.

Randy laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Y/n looked back at him with her arms crossed. She usually didn’t care about Randy’s teasing but today, her nervousness had killed all the fun in her.

“I was right!” He clapped.

Y/n raised an eyebrow

“Come on! Congratulate me for noticing! I never catch this stuff” he laughed.

She rolled her eyes and returned to the mirror.

“Stop looking at yourself in the mirror. You are going to make a hole on it” he put his arm around her shoulders and took her out of the bathroom “You look great! It’s going to go great!”

“You think?” She looked at him hopeful.

Y/n always considered herself a loner. She had never felt a connection with anyone, romantic or just platonic. Not in high school, not in college. Eventually she gave up. She had all the people she needed: Barbara, Jim, Toby and Nana. She didn’t need anyone else. But when she came back to Arcadia and started working at the shop, Randy made his way through the walls she had built.

“Of course! Just one thing, a small, tiny thing” they walked to the counter “Don’t leave in the middle of the date just because your brother calls you”

“What!?”

“Come on, Y/n! I know you! And I’ve seen you lately. Every time Jim calls, you drop everything!”

“He’s my little brother” she left the embrace.

“I know! But you should have some fun without Jim sometimes” he grabbed her by the shoulders “Have fun with someone your age for once! Outside me of course!”

“Aren’t you like thirty?” She joked.

“Hey! I’m the lovely and young age of twenty seven” Randy went behind the counter.

Y/n sighed. She knew Randy was right. Lately everything had been about Jim and the trolls, maybe distracting herself a little would help.

Right?

“There he is” Randy pointed to the window.

Y/n turned around and saw Douxie walking to the door.

“Have fun but not more fun than with me and be safe” Randy said quickly and disappeared in the back.

Douxie knocked on the closed door.

Y/n took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves.

“Hey” she smiled.

“Hello, love” Douxie smiled back with all the confidence he didn’t have this afternoon “Ready?”

“Ready” she fixed the strap of her bag and closed the door behind her.

Douxie looked so beautiful under the dusk light. His dark hair dancing with the breeze, his beautiful hazel eyes looking at her. Y/n was transfixed

“I brought you this” he gave her three little flowers.

“Forget me nots’” she chuckled.

“Yeah, I wanted to buy you an actual bouquet but I wasn’t sure what flowers you’d like” he scratched the back of his head.

Y/n laughed to herself “This is a good pick. I love forget me nots” she caressed the three small flowers “My mom told me this story when I was little about these flowers being named that because they were afraid of being forgotten by god. After hearing that, I became obsessed with the flower. I don’t know. Something about that story really moved little six years old me” Y/n turned and saw Douxie smiling at her.

“Sorry. I got weird” she fake laughed.

“No, it’s okay. I get it” he sounded soft. Softer than Y/n ever heard him.

“So, where do you wanna go?” She changed the subject trying to move on from the awkwardness she felt.

“Follow me”

—

The sun was long gone. Douxie and Y/n climbed to the ceiling of Douxie’s bookstore. Between some sweets and the most delicious tea Y/n ever tasted, they talked about everything. Douxie told her about his friends, the band and moving to Arcadia. Y/n told him about her family, her music and how she didn’t know where her life was supposed to go. She couldn’t stop the words from falling. In any other circumstance she wouldn’t talk so much, but Douxie, Douxie was different. He made her feel comfortable, at ease to talk about anything. Anything. At times, she felt like she had to stop herself from telling him about the secret she’s been keeping.

In contrast with the date, the walk home was quiet. It wasn’t an awkward silence, it was comfortable. They walked side by side observing the view Arcadia had to offer, the calmness that existed during the night.

“This is me” Y/n pointed to her door.

They stopped and looked at each other.

“I had fun” she smiled.

“Me too” he mirrored her and took one step forward “I hope we can do it again” he took her hand.

“Me too” she breathed.

Y/n and Douxie were so close that their noses touched.

“What are you doing?” The door swung open.

Douxie and Y/n jumped back. Douxie grabbed Y/n by the waist and pushed her close.

“Jesus, Jim” Y/n screamed taking a step forward “What are you doing?!”

“Oh, sorry, Y/n! I thought you were a gob…”

Y/n moved to the side so her little brother could see she wasn’t alone.

“Oh, hey” Jim frowned.

“Sorry about him” Y/n pushed Jim into the house with her hand.

“Don’t worry” Douxie smiled, his cheeks were still rosy “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah” she smiled.

“Ugh!” Jim was disgusted.

“Go back inside” she pushed Jim inside once more “I’m going to kill you” she whispered once Douxie was far enough.

—

“Master Jim, you must listen to me very carefully. They’ve captured me and want you to come to the Bridge…Alone. DON’T COME IT’S A TRAP” Blinky screamed .

“Give me that! It appears things have grown awkward, Mr Lake. Meet me in the alley beside the theater if you ever want to see your friend again” Strickler said

“DON’T OPEN THE BRIDGE!” Blinky screamed “UNDER NO CIRCUMSTAN…” and the voicemail was done.

“I’ve listened to it a hundred times now, and I still don’t know what to do” Jim sat in the hospital bed with scratches all over his face.

Last night, after Y/n went to bed, Jim left to take care of trollhunting business that end up in a fight with some goblins.

“You don’t have to do this alone. You’ve got Aaarrrgghh, Draal, Y/n, me” Toby said.

“They said I had to be alone. If I’m not, what do you think they’ll do to Blinky?” Asked Jim.

“Blinky made it clear ‘Under no circumstances’” Y/n reminded him.

“Enough friends have gotten hurt because of me. No more”

“Well, it’s your call. You’re the Trollhunter. Here” Toby handed the amulet back to him.

Y/n sighed

“I picked it up in the woods after they dragged you away. I thought since we found it together, we’d always be in this together”

“Hello, Toby” Barbara interrupted.

“Hey, Dr Lake. I was just leaving. He’s all yours” Toby smiled “ Can you believe it? Coyotes!” He added before finally leaving.

Y/n pinched her nose.

“You have good friends. One even stayed by your side all night” Barbara walked to Jim’s bed and sat at the feet of it by Y/n side.

“Toby is a great…”

“Actually, it was a girl. She said her name was Claire” Barbara corrected.

Y/n wiggle her eyebrows at Jim who was dumbstruck.

“I want you to talk to me and I expect to hear the truth. What were you doing in the woods?” Barbara spoke again.

Y/n sat a little straighter and looked at her brother. She couldn’t help him out on this one.

“Well, Claire thought she heard her brother crying in the woods, so we went in, but it was this pack of crazy coyotes and…”

“The truth, Jim.” His mother interrupted his rambling “Those scratches weren’t from coyotes”

“I swear! You can ask Claire!” He insisted.

“Stop lying to me!” Barbara stood up and looked through the window “You come home from school covered in bruises, sneak out in the middle of the night, get arrested for a silly Chubby Tracker?”

“I know you’re angry but..” Jim lifted his hands and Barbara took them

“Angry? I’m not angry and I’m long past worried. I’m terrified!”

Y/n lowered her gaze. She was so consumed in her apparent loss of memory and worrying about Jim that forgot that her mother.

“I found this in a cookbook” she took out an envelope from her coat. It was Jim’s letter.

“It’s…still sealed” Jim said

“Whatever is happening, whatever it is you’re afraid to say. I want you to tell me, face to face” she put the letter on his lap “Believe it or not, there was a time when you used to share everything with me. Both of you” she caressed Jim’s cheek and grabbed Y/n’s hand.

The siblings looked at each other and lowered their gaze.

“Fine” she stood up “If that’s the way you feel, your doctor has discharged you, Mr Lake. Good luck at the play” she left.

“Mom, I’m sorry” Jim pleaded but her mother couldn’t hear him.

—

Y/n sat in the audience, swinging her left foot back and forth, waiting for the play to start, or at least that was what the people passing by could see. In reality, Y/n was waiting for her brother and friends to return from a dangerous crusade.

Jim, Toby, Draal and Aaarrrgghh were rescuing Blinky while she maintained the appearances at the school’s play. Her anxiety was kicking at her ribcage, her right thumbnail almost gone from the constant biting. Nothing could calm her. She wanted to go and fight alongside her brother to keep him safe, but after what happened earlier with her mom, someone had to keep up with the image. Being the one waiting was killing her. Her brain was filling itself with awful scenarios. Bular was strong, powerful and had many years of training over the trollhunters. Everything could go terribly wrong.

She imagines herself running to the bridge and stabbing Bular with a sword from the exhibit giving an end to all of this. No more stress. No more nightmares of Jim dying. Jim could be a normal kid.

Fortunately, Jim showed up on time and with the news of Bular’s slaying. Y/n felt her lungs fill with air more easily. This wasn’t the end. Jim was still the Trollhunter and more dangers were ahead but tonight, everyone would sleep a little better

A/n: fun fact ig?: I didn’t know the existence of the forget me not until i played the arcana! (And got obsessed with muriel 👀) also read the little story on a fan fic long ago so idk if it's a common story or not. It popped up in my head while writing. Also, the selection for the song on this one was so complicated 😭😭 I didn’t want to put a song in spanish but it is the one that fit the most. Look up the lyrics, is a beautiful song

[bizlybebo]

Because its on my mind Im sending this as a "Ramble about it here when you get to X episode" ask. When you finish the episodes titled black, white and grey please rant about them here. They are great and I want to see your opinions

hahaha. hi endy.

the staring at the wall evolved into falling asleep and randomly waking up at 4am, still processing these episodes.

i wrote down. some of my thoughts now having experienced the full thing and got kind of carried away with um. 1.4k words of rambling :3

it’s not even all i want to say but i. ough. fuck these episodes were so good but so. auugggh.

it’s like 5am now im posting this and gonna try to go back to sleep but. holy fucking SHIT when i get you bizly.

(i don’t at all expect you to read this behemoth of a ramble!! just. need to put this somewhere as well because my brain’s still exploding after these episodes)

When season two started I thought it marked a lot of stuff for, y’know, how the show was gonna get darker. I mean, episode one, people were getting killed by a chaos demon in that prison.

I was entirely expecting all the ugly, gory bits of season two to be… external shit. Stuff that other guys, the actual antagonists, did.

But William felt pressured in Black. And suddenly it sets off this chain reaction, and suddenly one of our protagonists is no longer doing heroic things. Suddenly William is effectively torturing a guy psychologically in an attempt to save thousands more with David’s medical research.

He fell into the crux of a lot of villains: “It’s for the greater good”.

There was no going back after he stabbed Tide with the syringe. Tide, who never even had his guard up around William because despite everything, he trusted him and had immeasurable faith in his boys.

White is probably my favorite and least favorite episode, simultaneously, to ever come out of jrwi. The emotional, symbolic, and hell, even cinematic effect it has is insane.

I could fucking scream forever about Willian’s actions in White. About Vyncent’s inactions and the way he was torn about everything— about the fact that in season one, Vyncent was the “violent” one.

But Mark and Dakota fucking hit me in the heart to an insane amount.

Dakota. MOTHERFUCKING. Cole.

I said this before, but:

It’s the fact that Dakota still has optimism. He still has hope, at the very least, that Mark can change; turn over a new leaf for his kid.

“I think he should turn over a new leaf, like, with a new hero name, like— Soundwave, or something.”

He still thinks, or at least thought, that Mark can change. This was after he saw what he did to Lightspeed. He saw the worst of Mark’s actions but he still had faith and hope that there was a good person in there.

This shows so much fucking growth for Dakota’s character. The entire development of his morals, especially over season 2, is insane.

But Mark tries to kill Dakota. Several times.

He shoots at him, unleashes hundreds of bullets, and even tries to stab him. He couldn’t predict that Dakota would be incorporeal, and yeah, sure, you could say that he didn’t know Dakota forfeited his powers (and even without him he’s still significantly stronger than other kids his age). But even with his powers, Dakota would still have taken significant damage from the attacks.

Dakota and Mark’s rivalry is something I could pick apart and think about every little piece of forever.

They both have overwhelming love for Ashe, but it manifests in different ways.

Mark says it himself, “I am what I have to be.” He’s bringing home his kid by any means necessary. Ashe doesn’t have to like him, she just has to be safe and alive.

Dakota’s entire screaming match with Mark is engraved into my brain forever. It felt so real to witness, and the emotion in it was insane.

Dakota’s entire proclamation gets me. He’s so well spoken throughout despite shaking with how angry he is.

“I have been killing myself trying to train hard enough to save her.”

“If you were doing this for Ashe you wouldn’t do things that she’d hate you for.” But Mark is what he has to be.

Dakota never stands down. He keeps getting back up, and back up, and back. Up. Okehrjwjr I’m actually going to start crying thinking about this again.

When he was searching for Lightspeed and following Wavelength’s tracks, he kept asking himself: What would William do? Because he had faith in William’s decision making and investigation.

But at the very same time, William was wondering what Dakota would think about what he’s done.

And GOD don’t get me started on William and his brother.

In a sick, twisted way, I loved their dynamic. I loved what it meant for William narratively when David congratulated his work of defeating Xavier, even calling him “little brother” as a term of endearment. I was on the edge of my seat for their entire conversation in the meeting room.

David gave William his first drink, like older brothers do. William tortured a man because of his brother. David had apple juice sitting on hand because their mother told him to, just in case William ever showed up. William wanted apple juice. He killed somebody.

Cantrip’s been FUCKING me up. I couldn’t even write the word “death” after her name. It doesn’t feel real.

This can’t be the same show in which Jade was sitting on Xavier’s shoulders during mario kart, nonchalantly offering no help as he fought for his life to win like. Second place.

I mean, Jade was such a candid and real character. She was a teenager, just like the rest of the Prime Defenders, and she tried to take a turn for better things after leaving the fighting ring. She went from villainy to vigilantism, and sure, her morals were kind of skewed with how she seemed pretty okay with Alan killing the Bell Tech employees, but her motives were good, in a sense.

(“It’s all for the greater good”. It’s the same thing William was thinking, except William was directly dirtying his hands by torturing Xavier, while Cantrip was just accepting that Alan killed some people.)

I think there’s something to say for how William creates a vision of Cantrip out of smoke, distorting her into some monster, and how that’s the last time we see her image at all before learning of the fact that she’s. Gone.

The last time we see the real Jade, she’s just trying to escape. She doesn’t even talk, if I remember correctly. She just tries to get out. She gets shot in the arm but still persists.

And William ends up being the one who pulls the trigger; who injects the memory loss shit into her blood.

He’s the one who kills her, despite not knowing it at the time.

And David still masquerades as an innocent man, going as far as to relax at his apartment with him and William’s parents as though the events of the previous night never happened.

It fucks me up how the last words that Will and David exchanged before the confrontation in the apartment was:

“Don’t turn into a supervillain while I’m gone.”

“You either.”

William was starting to believe that David was a guy with awful methods, but good intentions— and William felt as though he was the same way. He saw himself becoming David, but David manipulated him into thinking that, hey, it’s awful, but at least he wouldn’t be… alone, I guess, in being a horrible person.

William and David finally saw eye to eye on the worst thing.

And David. Still. Lied.

Lied by omission.

And Jade was the one who took the fall for William’s actions. Jade, the girl who made fun of William for his crush on Vyncent. Jade, who had a sister she cared about, even if she scoffed about her love of heroes— despite the implication that their parents died because of them (likely caught in crossfire or casualties of battle). Jade, who painted her nails and placed bets on William kissing Vyncent, saying he’d be too pussy to do so. Jade, who found herself in a fucking fighting arena of all places but still found friends through it.

Jade, who was the first one to trust William with her actual name instead of Cantrip.

William, who killed her.

And. Fucking Christ.

Vyncent’s monologue at the end of episode 33 just. Fucks me up.

For the entire greyscale series, he finds himself suspended in inaction, too scared to do the right thing and too scared to stop the wrong thing.

But he finally faces it. He looks at William, certainly with fear after knowing all that he’s done, and even still, Vyncent dances around the morality of the subject. He accepts if William wants to flat-out lie to Dakota’s face about what happened at Bell Tech, though he does warn him of the significant damage it’ll do to their friendship.

And when William asks Vyncent to leave the room at the end of the episode, Vyncent finally takes a leap and becomes no longer caught by his indecision between apathy and guilt.

He looks at William, thinking he’s on the edge of something he won’t come back from, and he takes his hand, and pulls Wlliam back from the metaphorical cliff’s edge. If William does fall, then they’re falling together.

His entire proclamation, starting with “I’ve had so many opportunities to do the right thing”, fucking guts me.

God I’ve been typing for like. An hour now but the greyscale series really fucked me up holy shit.

tldr: AAAAUUUUIGGHHHHKEKGKKSKVMEMGOOCU:$)&2’ynkejvjk4&3&582$2!:$?82&;&/&(929@,@2&(&2&&?EVIL EVIL EVIL GOD IS DEADDDDJGKRMHKSKKKKLLEKCKSJGJKSICIWKFMSKGIWIIIAI&383&5&?&?@39(92@?&&/8:7;&,£,]*+\+<*]¥<**]+<+¥sfkwkfkkwjfkI HATE EVERYTHING AOUUGGGHHHHHH OUUUUUUEHEHRHRHRJKGHRHRHRRRRRRR

i am emotionally attached to this media a normal amount

[kairos-polaris]

I've had a lot of thought about the chapter 236, the way Gojo's death was framed and handled. Now that my hopes for his return dwindle, I am getting around to putting them all in one place with manga panels for reference. I am only going to discuss the chapter in the context of character relationships and narrative wise, a lot of people smarter than me have already analyzed the Buddhist symbolism that hints at Gojo's resurrection.

There will be two parts, both operating under different asuumptions. First one takes the fact of Gojo's death at face value with no hope for his return. In contrast, the second part will be all about how 236 is a perfect set up for Satoru's recurrection. It requires a lot of trust in Gege's writing and planning ahead and as of now I don't have much faith but analysing the possibility of it was fun, so I am including it.

Part One or An Unsatisfaying Attempt At A Satisfying End

Right of the bat we can agree that the chapter is trying to really hard to sell that this is the satisfying ending for Gojo Satoru, him going out in a fight against the one who matches his power, dying without regrets.

Yet the chapter contradicts itself, the more I think of it the more it feels like it's trying to fool not just the readers, but Satoru himself into thinking he has no regrets. Just earlier he thinks about Megumi and not telling him about his dad.

Perhaps I am reading into this too much, but it feels like he is pushing those thoughts away to maintain the allusions of having no regrets. There is no mention of Sukuna possesing Megumi or anything about his students now having to face Sukuna in his stead. Ultimately he failed, not just in reaching Sukuna as Gojo says so himself but saving Megumi and protecting his students. He doesn't acknowledge it because in doing so he will admit he died with regrets.

This chapter is a pinnacle of focus on Satoru's selfishness, the separation between him and other sorcerers.

Haibara's words feel harsh (Satoru even looks upset) and while not entirely wrong, they aren't the full truth. Satoru cares and we have many proofes of it. The most obvious is him opening his domain for as little as possible to protect the people in Shibuya, him becoming a teacher and his desire to protect the youth of his students.

All of those examples focus only on Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer. If you see only his strength, it is no wonder you think he only fights for the kick of it, that this death is fitting. It is a worthy end to the strongest sorcerer, finally having met his match.

Now, with the assumption of this chapter being truly the end for Gojo Satoru, there were ways to keep the focus on him not having any regrets while acknowledging his failures. Just have him say "I wish I could be there for them, but ultimately I know they do not need me. They are my students after all." But for now it feels like a cheap attempt to make it a good ending without actually putting in the work for it to be satisfying narratively wise. I would actually prefer an acknowledgement of Satoru's failures and how there was still so much he could do, both as the strongest and as a teacher. Unless....

Part Two or The Fitting End For The Strongest Sorcerer, Complete Ego Death, And Path To Enlightment.

A more hopeful conclusion I've made after hours of overthinking is the possibility of all of it being intentional. Losing to Sukuna is what will help Satoru reevaluate his own beliefs and how he views his relationships with others. Losing to Sukuna is Satoru also losing his title of the strongest and with it the mindset tied to it and the way people perceive it, as shown both by him and the people in the after life

Something I've concluded in the previous part is how the entire chapter is only about one aspect of Gojo's character, focus only on his strength. It is further supported by him being depicted as his teenage self, whose entire identity was built upon the fact that he is the strongest.

Everyone we see in the afterlife can be related back to Gojo's blue spring. Geto Suguru, his closest friend and his equal; Nanami Kento, his friend and ally, the one who followed his selfless ideals to the very end; Haibara Yu, admittedly we don't know much about his and Satoru's interactions, but we could theorize that it was his death that caused Satoru to want to protect the youth of young sorcerers; Yaga Masamichi, his teacher who he cares for. And then the three people who symbolized the shift in that mindset: Kuroi Misato, Amanai Riko and Fushiguro Toji. He failed to protect the former two, showing that he is not yet the strongest, and the fight with latter, that brings him on the verge of death, makes him stronger than before.

All of those people are in some way connected to Satoru but it is interesting that another character isn't there. Fushiguro Tsumiki*. It could be that she is just less important to him but I believe it is because he met her when his goals shifted towards those we see in the series. He already has a dream, to build a new jujutsu society for which he needs strong allies, which is why he takes Megumi in (Gege's words, not mine). That would also explain why Nobara and Megumi aren't there, even if I would like to believe it's because they aren't dead yet (Gege is allergic to confirming their status).

I would prefer a proper resurrection but Satoru returning through seance the way Toji did would not only be a call back to the parallels between them but also allow for him to truly let go of his regrets the way Toji did.

What I am trying to say in so many words is that I want to believe 236 symbolizes true ego death for Gojo Satoru, a change in mindset that will allow him to build authentic connections with the people around him when he comes back, him leaving his past and his regrets behind.

All of this requires for Gege to have any amout of care for the characters and writing skills so I doubt it would happen but it's a nice thing to think about. I am more inclined to believe that Gege messed up in their attempts to make Satoru's end satisfying and will continue believing. Unless Gojo actually comes back.

[mydarllinglover]

Alone || Rescue Mission

Previous

"Are you going to take the cross too?" Gabriel asked.

After Daryl had introduced Noah, and explained about Grady Memorial hospital, the group devised a plan to protect the church whilst the others went into Atlanta to rescue Beth and Carol.

"What's the problem, I thought God was all around us?" Natalia asked, whilst her and Daryl planted the orchestra pipes around the stairs. "You don't need silly little symbols."

"The cross represents-"

"Talking to the wrong person, buddy." She cut him off. "My faith in God died a very, very long time ago, before the dead started walking around."

He bowed his head, walking away from the pair.

Daryl and Natalia were left alone.

"I'm glad you're back." Natalia muttered, hoping he hadn't actually heard her, but knew she was busted when he looked up at the woman, meeting her eyes. "Sully was missing you a bit, I think. But I wish Carol and Beth were here as well."

He made a gruff noise in agreement.

"We're gonna get them both back, we will, no matter what, we're not losing anybody else." She continued.

Daryl had been caught up about what he had missed whilst he was gone, Bob and the attack.

"I am glad though, that she wasn't there during- when we met... if anything happened to her because I... " Her voice broke off, but he knew where she was heading with that conversation, feeling a heavy weight drop in his stomach.

"We'll get them back." He repeated, nodding at her in some sort of understanding.

Michonne, Carl, Gabriel, Judith and Sully were staying at the church.

The rescue group were bringing Noah along, though Natalia had a bad feeling about him going with, she didn't voice it though, Rick had made the decision for a reason.

Daryl, Natalia and Rick were sat in the cab of the truck Daryl and Noah drove back from the city, Tyreese and Sasha were watching the teenager in the back.

"I've never been in the city after it fell." Natalia sighed, kicking her legs up onto the dash.

"Get your feet down." Rick pushed her legs off, as he drove. "Never?"

"Nope, stayed far from it, heard they were bombing the place, knew nothing good would come out of it, so steered clear." Though she side eyed him.

"We've been in there a few times." Rick told her. "It's dangerous, as long as you stay high and know what you're doing, you'll be fine."

"First time I met Rick, we went into the city cause he handcuffed Merle to a roof." Daryl told her.

Natalia looked towards her friend, stifling a laugh of shock at the revelation.

"Did he deserve it?" She asked.

Rick shook his head around, leaning towards a nod.

"He had to cut his own hand off."

"And you slapped that kid around the face with it."

Natalia looked between the pair as if it were a tennis match.

"Okay, why has neither of you ever told me anything about any of this, that is the funniest and grossest thing I've ever heard."

"They kidnapped Glenn, deserved it..."

"They what? Who?" Natalia asked.

"It was a group surviving in the city, called the Vato's and they were our friends."

"But they kidnapped Glenn?" Natalia repeated, confused.

"We made a deal with them, realised they were good people."

"What happened to them, are they still around?"

"No." Daryl put it bluntly. "They were taken out by another group."

"Oh. I fell off a roof once." Natalia said, not knowing what to say.

"That happened to someone else we knew, he impaled himself, Hershel had to fix him up." Rick told her.

"Oh, what happened to him?"

"Murdered." Daryl answered.

"Yep, course he was, duh." Natalia blinked. "Was it Shane, did he do it?"

Rick snapped his head at Natalia, looking at her with surprise before turning back to the road.

"How do you know about Shane?"

"I have my sources. Carl, he used to accompany me on my watches sometimes, if he was having trouble sleeping. Promised not to tell you, sorry." Natalia caved.

"It's alright, I'm glad he trusts you, and I'm glad you look out for him."

"Course, he's a good kid." She shrugged. "Beth and Carol used to gossip outside my room- cell as well, when I tried to take naps, I used to find it irritating, but now..."

"We're getting them back." Rick breathed, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

"So how'd you fall off the roof?" Daryl asked, his arm was resting on the door, his left boot was on the dashboard, Rick hadn't told him to take it down.

"Doesn't matter." She shook her head, "I didn't die, though, which has been a recurring incident in your stories."

"You had dead people sitting outside your house when we met you." Rick looked at her.

"I didn't know them personally." She shrugged.

"At sundown we fire a shot into the air." Rick had begun explaining the plan drawing the map of what Noah explained on the floor, when they had got into the city, finding a place to hold up in. "Get two of them out on patrol. Then once it's dark enough that the rooftop spotter won't see us, we go. We cut the locks on one of the stairways, take it to the fifth floor. I open the door, Nat will take the guard out."

"How?" Tyreese asked.

"How do you think?" Natalia asked him. "Slit his throat."

"This is all about us doing this quietly, keeping the upper hand. They're not expecting us. From there we fan out. Knives and silenced weapons. We need to be fast. Tyreese, Sasha, take them. Daryl, you take care of whoever is in the kitchen. I got Dawn. If they're smart, the rest of them will give up. Then It'll be 6 on 3. 7 on 3 when we get a weapon to Beth."

"13 on three. The wards will help." Noah weighed in.

"That's best case. What's worst case?" Tyreese asked. "All it takes is 1 of those cops going down the hall at the wrong time. Then it's not quiet. All hands on deck. We're talking about a lot of bullets flying around."

"If that's what it takes." Sasha said.

"It's not. If we get a couple of her cops alive out here, we do an even trade. Theirs for ours. Everybody goes home."

"Yeah, I get it." Rick stood up. "And it might work. This will work."

"Nah, that'll work too." Daryl intervened. "You say this Dawn, she's just trying to keep it together, right?" He asked Noah.

"Trying and doing are two different things." Noah replied.

"You take two of her cops away, what choices does she have? Everybody goes home. Like he says."

"If even a hair is out of place on Beths head, I don't care who's going home." Natalia gave her opinion.

Rick decided to evaluate both plans, before siding with Tyreese and Daryl, assuring that if It failed, they were shooting the place up anyway.

Noah was their bait, he got in the position and fired the shots, gaining the cops attention.

Noah ran into the alley, letting the car chase him to the allocated spot.

They drove in front of him, hitting the kid with the car before hopping out raising their own guns at him.

"Put the gun down, Noah" The female cop told him.

"Put it down." The male cop repeated.

Noah did as they said, placing the gun on the ground.

"Hands up. Turn around."

The male cop walked towards him, pulling out a zip tie, and pulling his arms behind his back.

"I thought you were smart, Noah. Think we wouldn't hear you?" The female cop asked.

The group snuck towards the two cops, aiming their guns at the two's heads.

"Where are those rotters you were shooting at?" The man asked him.

Rick whistled, catching their attention.

"Hands." He said, when the cops turned around, aiming their guns at the five.

"What do you want?" The woman asked.

"Whatever this is, we can help." The man added.

"You do what we say, we don't hurt you." Rick said.

"Okay." The man put his hands up in surrender, no longer aiming his gun, the woman soon copied.

"Good. Now turn around. Put your guns on the floor and kneel."

They did as told, Natalia dealt with the woman, collecting her weapons and pulling two zip ties out, passing one to Daryl, who was dealing with the man, Tyreese helped Noah whilst Rick and Sasha continued to aim their weapons at the cops heads.

"We need to talk." Rick told them. "There's water if you need some and food"

"Mind if I ask you something?" The male cop asked, as their captors pulled them up.

Rick backtracked, looking at the man, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"The way you talk, the way you carry yourself, were you a cop? Believe it or not, I was, too." He smiled.

"Really? I thought that was just dress up." Natalia deadpanned.

"That's Lamson." Noah told Rick. "He'll be down for this. He's one of the good ones."

A car raced towards them, it's tyres squealing as it drove down the alley towards them.

The group jumped out the way, leaving the cops as they began shooting at the car. Tyreese shot one of the windows, revealing another cop shooting at them.

The cops got in the car, driving off.

Natalia shot one of the tyres, Sasha shooting the other one, air hissed out of it.

They ran after the car.

The car had stopped, Rick halted, telling the others to wait as they looked around at the burnt buildings, and the fried skeletons, that were still moving, but were melted into the tarmac.

They saw the cops running away from the car.

"Two, on me." Rick said following.

"I only saw the two." Natalia muttered to Daryl, as she looked around for the driver.

He nodded, in the direction of the RV, putting a finger to his lips.

Natalia opened the door slowly, whilst Daryl aimed his gun ahead, ready for attack.

No one was present.

Before either could realise, the cop flew out, tackling Daryl to the ground.

They wrestled each other on the ground, fighting as a burnt walker inched towards them.

The cop got his hands around Daryl's throat, forcing his head towards the jaws of the walker.

Natalia raised her hand gun, whacking it across the cops temple, knocking him off of Daryl.

Rick appeared, helping Daryl up.

"Nat." He said, as the woman took the gun off safety, aiming it at the cop, her boot on his chest, stopping him from getting up.

"You win, asshole." The cop grunted.

"We only need two, for Ty's plan." She said.

"No, three's better than two." Daryl disagreed.

"Nat, put it down." Rick told the woman.

"He tried to kill Daryl. We don't need him."

"Nat." Daryl said. "Three's better." He repeated.

She let out a sigh, putting her gun back on safety.

"You try anything again, I'll put a bullet through your skull before you even get a chance to run, I promise." She stood off of him, backing up to let Daryl make him stand, using a zip tie to restrain him.

They had gotten back to the spot, all three cops, under their watch.

"Your friend, what's his name?" The female cop asked. "I need to talk to him. Your plan is going to get me and my friends killed."

"We're going to make it work." Sasha said.

"It would work if you had different cops to trade."

This caught their attention.

"Dawns running Grady into the ground. A bunch of us want her out and she knows it. Pretty sure she knows we want Lamson to replace her, too." She continued.

"Dawn doesn't know that." The third cop said.

"She might. And she's smart. So there's a good chance you can't make this deal work and that'll leave us all dead. But if you let us go, we'll take care of Dawn ourselves and we'll let your friends go and this is over."

"No, we're not gonna do that." Lamson said.

"Do you want to die?" The woman asked him.

"No. I just need you to shut up right now." He told her. "You can make this work. But you've got to be able to talk to her."

"Noah told us all about her." Sasha answered.

"I've known her for 8 years, ma'am. I know this woman. And my only interest is peaceful resolution, not dying, and sleeping in my bed tonight. So, please, let me help you. Please."

"And I want my friends, but your people kidnapped them." Natalia shrugged. "I don't care about your wish for world peace or your bed."

Daryl pat her shoulder, turning around to look at Rick and Noah.

"Hey, Rick. You're gonna want to hear this." He said.

They made the cops sit against the poles, separating Lamson from the other two so that he could talk to Rick.

Tyreese and Sasha raided the car with the white cross, seeing what they could use.

Daryl, Natalia and Noah watched Shepard and the other man.

"You know, we could treat that, give you some ointment, clean the cuts on your face." Shepard said, looking at Natalia's back as she paced.

She stopped, looking at the woman.

"I don't need or want anything from your people, shut up and sit still."

"She's just trying to help." Daryl muttered to her, their faces were close as he talked, not letting the three other people in on their private conversation.

"And I don't need it, we're here for Beth and Carol, not trying to make friends, besides, they don't even hurt anymore."

"You still ain't a good liar." He shook his head, stepping away, starting his own pacing.

She looked over to Sasha and Lamson, they were heading out of the room.

"Sasha!" She called after the other woman. "What are you doing?"

"Just gotta take care of something, we'll be back soon." She said, walking out of the room.

A few minutes had passed, and Sasha hadn't returned with the cop.

Natalia was getting antsy, she had a bad feeling.

"I'm gonna go see what they're doing." She said.

"Alright." Daryl nodded at her.

Natalia walked out the room, heading in the way they had went, her gun was in her hand, the safety off, just in case.

She headed into the south side of the building, not hearing or seeing anything strange.

That's when she saw her.

Sasha was on the floor, knocked out cold.

"Rick!" Natalia shouted as she raced towards the other woman. "Rick! Sasha, Sasha, hello can you hear me?" She asked her, checking her over for injurys or blood.

Rick ran into the room, Tyreese followed.

"Sasha!" Tyreese gasped, running towards his sister, who was slowly waking up.

"What happened?" Rick asked her.

"Lamson, he's gone, he must've done this." Natalia said, helping Sasha sit up as she held her head.

"Alright, I'll find him."

"I'll help." Natalia went to follow but he put his hand up, stopping her.

"No, I need you here, keep an eye on the other two, make sure they weren't in on this."

"Rick." Natalia called after. "We only need two for the plan to work."

"Only if we're forced to." He looked at her, before leaving.

Tyreese and Natalia helped Sasha stand, walking her back into the other room.

Tyreese helped his sister to sit down, giving her some water.

Natalia headed over to the cops, pulling her knife out.

"Y'know he was gonna run?" She asked.

"No, we had no idea." Shepard told her. "We didn't know what they were doing when they left."

"And we're just supposed to believe that, right?" Natalia shrugged. "I told you that if you tried anything, I'd kill you." She looked at the male cop.

"And we didn't." He answered, not seeming threatened by the woman.

"Nat." Daryl called towards her, she looked over her shoulder, at him. He was shaking his head. "They didn't know."

She turned back, assessing the pair, trying to catch their bluff, before standing up, putting her knife back in the sheath.

"We need them for the plan." Noah reminded.

"Yeah, it's cracking up to be a great one, if we did it the other way, we would of had our people back by now, not chasing cops down streets."

Tyreese and Noah had moved the cops to sit in chairs by the time Rick had got back by himself.

Daryl and Natalia headed over to talk to him.

"He wouldn't stop."

"This change things?" Daryl asked.

"It has to."

"Maybe not." He thought.

"Well, she said the plan won't work. The guy who did is dead. Maybe we gotta rethink this."

"They also said the cop in charge didn't have any love for him. Maybe you did her a favour."

"I don't know if they'll play ball."

"So we don't give them a choice. They do what we say, or they die." Natalia said.

They walked over to the others.

"He was a good man." Shepard greeted them. "He was attacked by rotters. Saw it go down."

"Huh. You're a damn good liar." Rick replied.

"We're hanging by a thread here. He was attacked by rotters. That's the story."

"You said the trade was a bad idea." Daryl brought up. "What changed."

"Lamson was our shot. So its this or you go in guns blazing, right?"

"Pretty much." Natalia nodded.

"You don't want that."

"If this is some bullshit you're spinning and things go south..."

"I know. I know the good ones from the bad. Let us help you."

"What about you?" Rick asked the male cop. "You wanna live? How much?"

"Dawn's afraid she'll look weak in front of us. Thinks it'll tip things against her. Hell, it will. She'll see this trade as a rip-off if she thinks you took out one of our guys. So its a good thing Lamson got aced by rotters."

They were on board.

The plan was simple; Natalia, Sasha, Daryl, Tyreese, Noah and the cops would wait on top of the roof, Sasha and Daryl were going to keep lookout whilst Rick went to the agreed vantage point, waiting for the two officers to show up.

Daryl snapped his fingers when he spotted the cop car.

"Rick, they're heading towards you." Natalia spoke into the radio.

They waited in silence as Rick made the offer.

They had accepted it.

The two officers had led them into the hospital, Daryl and Rick led the still restrained cops.

They reached the 5th floor, heading down a hallway, behind the door, 4 cops were stood, their weapons in their hands.

Carol, who was being pushed in a wheelchair by Beth, were behind them, with a doctor.

When they saw the group, they put their guns in the holsters.

"Holster your weapons." The voice of Dawn came through one of the cops radios.

"You too." Rick told his group.

Natalia wasn't a fan of this idea, but done as told.

One of the cops opened the door, walking towards their side.

Dawn nodded at Beth, signalling to stand forward.

Natalia reached for her gun when she saw the two stiches alone Beth's cheek and forehead, and the cast on her arm, but a hand stopped her, Daryl's.

"They haven't been harmed." Rick told Dawn.

"Where's Lamson?" She asked.

"Rotters got him." Shepard answered.

"We saw it go down."

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. He was one of the good guys. One of yours for one of mine."

"Alright." Rick nodded with his head, for Daryl's captee to walk forward.

"Move." He grunted, pushing the man forward.

Another cop pushed Carols wheelchair forward, letting Daryl take her bag and push her to their side.

Dawn then grabbed a hold of Beth's arm, pulling her forward as Rick did the same to Shepard.

Rick hugged her when she reached him, before letting her walk towards Daryl and Natalia.

"You alright?" He asked her, placing an arm on her shoulder, she offered a small smile nodding.

Natalia hugged the girl.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, kissing her hair, "I should of been out there with you."

"It's alright." She whispered back "What happened to your face?"

"What happened to yours?" Natalia copied, running a gentle finger just under the stitching on her cheek.

"Glad we could work things out." Dawn said.

"Yeah." Rick nodded, as his group started to walk back the way they came.

"Now I just need Noah." She said, making Rick stop. "And then you can leave."

"That wasn't part of the deal." Rick walked towards her.

"Noah was my ward. Beth took his place and I'm losing her, so I need him back."

"What is your problem, lady? They're kids." Natalia snapped, not able to bite her tongue.

"Ma'am, please-"

"Shepard!" Dawn hissed. "My officers put their lives on the line to find him. One of them died."

Noah went to walk forward but Daryl stopped him, joining Rick's side.

Beth intwined her fingers with Natalia as they waited to see how this turned out.

"He's one of mine. You have no claim on him."

"The boy wants to go home, so you have no claim on him." Rick replied.

"Well, then we don't have a deal."

"The deal is done."

"It's okay." Noah stepped forward, trying to defuse the situation.

"No. No." Rick put his hand out to stop him.

"I got to do it." Noah assured him.

Beth let go of Natalia walking towards her new friend.

"It's not okay." She said, when Noah handed his gun back to Rick.

"It's settled." Dawn replied.

"Wait!" Beth ran forward, towards Noah, hugging him tightly.

"It's okay." He assured her, hugging her back.

"I knew you'd be back." Dawn said.

This seemed to spark something inside of Beth, as she let go of the boy, walking towards the woman.

Natalia took a few slow steps forward, seeing what the girl was about to do.

"I get it now." She said.

She then stabbed something into the woman's shoulder, than a shot ran out, blood sprayed out of Beth's head as she fell to the ground, a gun was in Dawn's hand.

"Beth!" Natalia screamed, running forward, falling to the ground as she held the dead girl, her friend.

Dawn cried out that she didn't mean to, but Daryl didn't give her the chance to finish her sentence, firing his own gun, into her head, her body fell backwards as her own blood sprayed out, splattering the crying woman as she shielded the lifeless teen.

Everyone else in the hallway pulled out their guns, aiming at the opposing sides

"No! Hold your fire!" Shepard shouted. "It's over. It was just about her. Stand down."

"Beth." Natalia's voice broke, her hands shook as she ran her fingers down the girls face. "I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry, I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, either."

The cops put their guns away, but Daryl didn't still keeping his eye as he held back cries.

Carol walked towards him, sniffling as she patted his shoulder.

He bent down besides the woman, as they both cried.

"You can stay." Shepard offered

"We're surviving here." Another spoke up. "It's better than out there."

"No." Rick said, tears pooled in his own eyes. "And I'm taking anyone back there who want's to leave. If you want to come with us just step forward now."

Noah was the only person to walk back.

Daryl picked up Beth, holding her in his arms, as Rick helped Natalia to stand, as soon as she did, she went straight back to the girl, petting her hair, her whole body shook with her tears, following Daryl as they left the hospital.

To Natalia, it felt like the same pain as the night she lost her family, Beth was like the sister she never had, sure they had lost people before, but Natalia never felt close to them as she did with the teenager.

When they walked through the door, outside, Maggie dropped to the floor, sobbing loudly at the sight of her younger sisters lifeless, bloody body.

A funeral was held for the girl in the first field they had found outside the city.

Daryl and Natalia stood next to each other, their fingers were linked, just like they had done when Beth mourned her father at the morgue, the same place they had lost her.

When her body was buried, the group let Maggie have some space with her sisters grave, Noah had shared that him and Beth were planning on going to his old community, where his family were, in Richmond, Virginia.

They had taken separate vehicles, Rick, Michonne, Tyreese, Glenn and Noah rode in one car, the others in the rest.

Carol had a radio, Rick had the other one, that's how they were going to keep in touch with each other whilst Rick and his group headed towards Noah's home, perhaps their new home.

It had taken two weeks to get to Virginia.

It wasn't.

Another funeral was held, for Tyreese.

They had each taken turns of shovelling dirt onto his grave whilst Father Gabriel gave the sermon.

His beloved hat rested on the cross, just like how he had worn it everyday.

Rick had decided that they would carry onto Washington, Eugene had lied about the cure for a reason, and they were going to find out why, even as they dealt with their grief and regrets.

Next

[athenaholmesartistsguild]

Had this card finished for a while before posting, but I was kinda insecure about it lol. I talk a little more in depth on this card's Patreon post (you can view and download it for free btw), but long story short, I got stuck in my head about whether I was embodying the symbolism of The Star and then I realized I didn't have to have a one-to-one counterpart to every Rider-Waite-Smith card lol.

Once I wasn't so stuck in my head, I realized I really like the way this card came out! I usually struggle to draw fire, but I found this quick tutorial and it actually gave me a process to try! Would recommend!

But let's go ahead and talk interpretations. They'll be below the cut as always:

After The Tower's destruction, The Star rises from the wreckage-- a shining beacon of hope.

While you likely experienced a period of pain and upheaval in the past, the presence of The Star suggests that good things are coming your way.

The Star is a card of hope and renewal. It reminds us that even though we went through trauma or generally crappy situations, we can emerge from them confident that things will get better. There are good things coming and we're urged to focus on those.

A lot of the symbolism within this card is somewhat religious in nature. The original woman is kneeling down with one of her feet seemingly walking on water, an homage to the Christian understanding of Jesus. The Star appears to be very in touch with the higher power within her whether her understanding of it stems from religion or her own spiritual beliefs.

In this way, we're urged to have faith in the forces we might not be able to comprehend. Sometimes singular or series of events can happen without us putting much effort into their creation. Sometimes, something we wanted or needed comes to us even when it didn't seem at all possible. The Star urges us to have faith in ourselves and trust that what we want will come to us.

Be confident in yourself, have hope that things will change, and begin to free yourself from the fear that keeps you from living authentically.

Reversed, the once hopeful figure of The Star has lost their glow. They've become lost in their pain and struggle to find any reason to stay positive. There's only so much a person can take before they feel beaten down and hopeless.

An important distinction, however, if that a reversed Star does not mean you have no hope. There are still plenty of chances for our situations to improve and for us to heal, this reversed card simply indicates our own feelings and thoughts.

While it can be frustrating to hear that something's 'all in our head', a reversed Star can be looked at as a sign that we have the power to make things better. Whatever higher power put us on Earth also gave us the ability to alter our reality and create a better life for ourselves.

Of course we may need help along the way whether that be a therapist, doctor, support group, or our loved ones, but that help is out there.

Even a reversed Star is a message that the worst of our pain and suffering is over. The pain we suffered is real and valid, it always will be. But The Star reminds us that we have the power to heal from it and come back stronger than when we started.

When designing this card, I wanted Haruka to represent the Star in question.

After Kiryu's entire family died, he felt like he had no reason to stay alive. The whole reason he went on his journey in the first game was to be reunited with the people he loved. He was willing to forgive those that had hurt him and move on, but in a very short period of time, everything was taken from him.

Everything except Haruka.

Haruka isn't free from suffering, either; her mother was taken from her and her father tried to kill her, but she serves as an anchor for Kiryu to hold onto his desire to live (even if he continues to struggle in the future).

She's an opportunity for Kiryu to get away from the Tojo Clan-- the organization that gave him everything he loved, but also took it away so many times. A beacon of hope leading Kiryu towards the life he actually wants.

Things aren't easy. Healing from such intense trauma rarely is, but there's hope for this little girl who never had a proper family and this man who just lost his.

Fate seemingly destroyed both their lives, but it seems like it also gave them everything they needed to find new meaning in the mess left over.

[thelordofsiriusblog]

THE FOOL KEYWORDS

UPRIGHT: New beginnings, innocence, spontaneity, a free spirit, freedom, originality, adventure, travel, foolishness, carelessness, idealism, youth, lack of commitment

REVERSED: Holding back, recklessness, risk-taking, carelessness, negligence, stupidity, distraction, apathy, irrationality, lack of fun, hope or faith

THE FOOL DESCRIPTION

The Fool usually begins the Major Arcana. The Fool is assigned the number 0, which represents beginnings and endings. The Fool reminds us that the ending of one thing is the beginning of another.  He is ready to journey through the Major Arcana and experience the various archetypes symbolized by each card. He has an open mind which prepares him to learn the lessons that life has to offer. He is empty, like the number 0, and has infinite potential. The Fool is a candidate for self-transformation even though he may not be aware of what metamorphosis will truly require from him. However, The Fool possesses a key trait to be successful in his endeavor, optimism. The Fool is associated with the planet Uranus. The planet of innovation, discovery, and unconventionality.

The color white on the card symbolizes innocence and lack of emotion, or maybe in The Fool's case- lack of concern about what other's may think about his decision to leave it all behind.  The color yellow symbolizes solar energy- mind, intelligence, enlightenment, radiance, completeness, and positivity. The white rose symbolizes pure consciousness. The cliff symbolizes potential danger, which in this depiction seems to be ignored by The Fool.​

Astrologically The Fool is associated with Uranus, the planet of eccentricity, upheaval, raw genius, flashes of insight, non-conformity, revolution, technology, unexpected events, and scientific discovery.

THE FOOL UPRIGHT

The Fool is a card of new beginnings. You may be starting out on a new path in your life and feeling very optimistic about it.

You're taking chances and experimenting, embracing your personal growth, on a mission to discover who you really are.

The Fool has complete trust in the universe. Now is a good time to follow your heart. You're taking a leap of faith and are not concerned about the consequences. 

Unexpected changes may be taking place within your life but you are choosing to maintain a positive outlook about these changes. You are trusting where the universe is taking you no matter how crazy it might seem to other people. You are not worried or anxious about what may or may not happen. Now is the time to go even if you do not feel that you are ready or have everything you may need to be successful. Anything can happen, there is an abundance of potential in the situation. 

Flow with the universe, be present, relax, and have fun. Approach the situation like a child, with curiosity and innocence. Do not give into the fear or self-doubt that may arise within you when you think about making changes in your life. Acknowledge your fear but do not let it stop you. You will be able to handle whatever comes your way, believe in yourself. You will meet the right people and the resources that you may feel like you don't have now will all come to you. There are many lessons to learn and much wisdom to gain that will enhance your soul's journey on this earth. ​​​​​

THE FOOL REVERSED

Something is holding you back and you are preventing yourself from moving forward. You may feel like you aren't ready to do something or that you don't have all the resources that are necessary. The Fool reversed may represent that you have fear of the unknown and that you aren't maintaining a optimistic outlook. 

The Fool reversed can also show us that your behavior is too risky and that you are acting careless. Living in the moment, being spontaneous and adventurous are usually positive qualities if done with moderation and with regard to the consequences of our actions. If not, you may be putting yourself and others at risk.​ Your boredom might lead to impulsivity. Pessimism and a cold-heart might be blocking you from having a social life. The Fool reversed might be a sign of mental health issues and erratic behavior. ​

URANUS

Uranus embodies striving for independence and individual freedom. Uranus represents freedom, equality, and brotherhood. Uranus stands for surprising changes, flashes of inspiration, and sudden upheavals.

Strengths of Uranus are striving for independence on all levels, split-second perceptions, the spirit of discovery, the urge towards cosmic consciousness, and enjoyment of experimentation.​

Potential problems of Uranus are being restless and constantly charged up, being unsettled and constantly searching for change, subversion, revolution, being unpredictable, inconsiderate, destructive, aversion to obligation, freedom at any costs, breach of contract, incapable of being concerned with ordinary problems of everyday life. 

The goal of Uranus is to overcome old structures, attitudes, ideas, and opinions on an individual and collective level. The liberation from old ties and the disintegration of all bonds.

Representatives of the Uranus principle are inventors, technicians, revolutionaries, anarchists, astrologers, futurists, eccentrics and philosophers.

Uranus physically corresponds to the nervous system.

[antiquity1111]

BNHA 389 Japanese to English Translation + Commentary

迫る爆発…‼︎

せまるばくはつ…‼︎

The imminent explosion…!!

No.389 安心と祈り

ナンバー389 あんしんといのり

No.389 Assurance and Prayer

安心 (romaji: anshin) is a noun meaning “peace of mind (as is inspired by the trust you feel through faith in a higher power or a person whose actions have proven them to be a reliable and trustworthy source of comfort); relief; (sense of) security; safety; assurance; confidence.” Ultimately, it makes no difference whether one translates this word as “relief” or “assurance.” What matters is that this word, which makes up the first half of the chapter title, refers to Shouto, who has achieved his identified goal of becoming a Hero who, like All Might in his heyday, “reassures others and puts them at ease” with his mere presence. Because Shouto specifically stated that he wanted to become a Hero who “reassures” people, that is how I chose to translate anshin.

The second half of the chapter title, “prayer,” is a reference to the frightened civilians, many of whom are shown praying for a savior throughout the chapter. Shouto is the answer to their prayers, as All Might was in the past. This became possible for Shouto when he chose to stop Dabi through any means necessary, despite their blood connection and Touya’s visibly precarious health. The civilians were initially wary of Shouto after Dabi’s reveal because they could not be certain that Shouto would not choose his personal obligation to his brother over his professional obligation to the civilians, but Shouto proved that he is someone Heroes and civilians can trust to put “Hero” first by insisting on being the one to “fight” and “stop” the “Villain” Dabi, ignoring Touya’s every effort to connect on a familial level, and focusing exclusively on “subduing” the threat Dabi posed to Heroes and civilians. Their battle was not so much brother versus brother as it was Hero versus Villain, and Shouto was prepared to win to save, whatever the cost. Horikoshi LOVES to use splitting faces vertically into distinct halves as a visual metaphor for conflicting aspects of a person. For both Shouto and Enji, their scarred (left) side, which for Shouto happens to correspond to his fire, represents the Hero profession and their commitment to it. It represents who they want to be as Heroes. The scarred portion of their faces is emphasized when they are showing up as Heroes first, while the smooth, unscarred portion of their faces is highlighted when they are showing up as people first. If you revisit the Shouto- and Endeavor-related chapters of the war thus far, you’ll notice a pattern: Shouto is almost always drawn with his scarred “Hero” side spotlighted and Endeavor’s face is drawn full-on, both sides equally represented (and conflicting), more often than not. Symbolically, this indicates that Shouto was not approaching Touya as a brother. He was approaching him as any Hero would any Villain, and that (and other reasons) is why he failed. Endeavor, for his part, is caught between competing interests. Enji is Touya’s father and needed to have shown up as a person first if he was to have had any hope of reaching him, but he is also the Number One Hero and has a responsibility to Japan and the world to stop the Villains, even if that meant turning his back on his family (= Touya) one more time to prioritize dealing with AFO, as the war’s tactical team stipulated and Shouto demanded, and even if it now means that all he can do is die with Touya in a fiery inferno that should have, could have, and would have been avoided had he at any point prioritized being there for his firstborn son over being a Hero. It seems that in the end Enji was a shitty father, but Endeavor was an awesome Hero.

中心温度の上昇速度が鈍化してる！ ちゅうしんおんどのじょうしょうそくどがどんかしてる！

= “The speed at which the core temperature rises is slowing down!”

計算が更新されてます けいさんがこうしんされてます

= “[I am] updating the calculations!”

じゃあこのまま————

= “So, keeping the same [pace]———”

いや低下はしてない いやていかはしてない

= “No, it’s not slowing down!”

爆発は免れない‼︎ ばくはつはまぬがれない‼︎

= “The explosion is unavoidable!!”

免れる (romaji: manukareru) is a verb meaning “to escape (disaster, death, etc.); to be saved from; to be rescued from; to avoid (e.g., punishment); to evade (e.g., responsibility); to avert; to elude; to be exempted from.”

What is being communicated is that the situation is such that a massive, high-pressure explosion is inevitable and everyone unfortunate enough to be caught in the estimated 5-kilometer blast radius will be incinerated. It cannot be contained. It cannot be stopped. There is no escaping it.

ああ

= “AH”

ああ

= “AH”

アハ

= “AHA”

アハァ

= “AHAA”

I’m torn between thinking this is the sound of Touya breathing haggardly and thinking he is trying to laugh… He did say, “Whether [a person] cries or laughs, tomorrow comes equally. So, let’s laugh, Himiko Toga. People live to laugh! … The ones laughing at the end of that (= the Miserable Parade) will be us” (No.341).

みんなが見てるよ みんながみてるよ

= Everyone is watching / looking at [me].

ああこんなものか

= So, this is what it’s like?

もの (romaji: mono) is a common Japanese word with a number of uses. It can function similarly to the English “because” and indicate that the speaker is attempting to explain and/or excuse something or it can express emotional involvement, often frustration or dissatisfaction. Here, it appears as a sentence ending particle suggesting that Touya remains unhappy despite finally having his family’s attention.

こんな簡単な事だったなら こんなかんたんなことだったなら

= If it was such a simple thing,

Look at that lopsided smile. He’s proud of the Miserable Parade. This is the Heroes getting their “just desserts.” This is Touya Todoroki and Himiko Toga taking a stand for the children they were and striking back at the people who did and have continued to make their lives miserable.

撤退だァ てったいだァ

= “Retreat!!”

巻き込まれるぞ退けえ‼︎ まきこまれるぞひけえ‼︎

= “Withdraw or you’ll be caught in [the blast zone]!!”

もっと早くに もっとはやくに

= [you should have done it] sooner.

Let’s talk about Touya’s final line of the chapter. Beginning on page 6, Touya says, “If it was such a simple thing...” If identifies this as a conditional statement, that is, a statement with a clear hypothesis followed by a logical conclusion. The conclusion is the result of the hypothesis. The basic structure of a conditional statement is “if this, then that,” albeit not all conditional statements are written in the “if-then” form.

The next thing Touya says is “sooner.” Yes, just that. You see, Japanese doesn’t require that every word be given when the meaning can be inferred from context. The second half of Touya’s conditional statement is composed of just two words and one particle: もっと早くに. もっと (romaji: motto) is an adverb meaning “more; longer; farther; further.” 早く (romaji: hayaku) is another adverb meaning “early; soon; quick; fast.” Literally, Touya is saying, “If it was such a simple thing [to look at me], more soon / more quick / more early.” That is a fine sentence in Japanese, but it raises more questions than it answers in English. What does Touya mean by “more soon / more quick / more early”? Context clues can help us to answer that question. There are four types of conditional sentences. Touya’s is the third type, which is “used to explain that present circumstances would be different if something different had happened in the past” (https://www.grammarly.com/blog/conditional-sentences/).

Had Touya’s family acknowledged him sooner, none of this would have happened. Their damning inaction led to his damning action. For two decades Touya had believed that if his family would only look at him, everything wrong would be made right. Now they are looking at him, but nothing has changed. Their acknowledgement comes too late to save his life (or theirs). He burned to death as a child on Sekoto Peak because of their negligence, and he is burning to death as an adult on Gunga Mountain because of their negligence. “Sorry, it’s my fault” doesn’t change reality. It can’t undo the hurt, heal the damage, or rewrite history. It can’t give Touya his life back. Horikoshi has long described the Todoroki family as “Hellish,” but only Touya was actually consumed and destroyed by it. No one else died, and everyone else had at least one person supporting them. Touya was scapegoated and had no one, and it shows when you compare his outcome to his siblings’ outcomes and even to his parents’. This all could have been avoided had the Todorokis sincerely reached out to Touya any time prior to being threatened with their and everyone else’s impending doom and gloom, but they didn’t. Touya, or Dabi, appears to have not forgiven or forgotten their ambivalence. After all, “the past never forgets” (Viz’s translator exchanged “forget” for “die” to create the iconic Dabi line “the past never dies”; that’s a devastatingly cool one-liner, but it’s not what Touya/Dabi actually said). And consider this: Can the apology of a person with a smoking gun pressed to their temple be trusted to be sincere, or are they just saying whatever they think the would-be shooter needs to hear to keep from scrambling their brains? To be clear, I am NOT saying that Enji and/or Rei are lying about being remorseful for abusing and neglecting Touya. What I AM saying is that Touya has no reason to believe they are being honest (before now, they wouldn’t even acknowledge him). Even if we assume that he does believe them, that does NOT guarantee that he will forgive them—or anyone, for that matter—for what happened.

Personally, I am NOT of the opinion that Touya INTENDED to store up thermal energy to trigger a mass-scale explosion. Not long ago, in No.351, Touya was screaming for Shouto to “burn and die for our sake,” which implied that he was fighting not only for someone else’s freedom and survival (= the League of Villains’) but for his own. It would not make sense, then, for Touya to INTENTIONALLY do anything certain to jeopardize both his life and safety and theirs, like the police and Heroes imply he did. We know Touya cares about the League of Villains, but the police and Heroes don’t know that, and when Touya alluded to caring about the League of Villains during his match against Shouto and three of Endeavor’s sidekicks, Shouto and the other Heroes ignored him. They were there to take Dabi down, not to try to understand and sympathize and relate with him. What matters to him does not matter to them. His “personal and ideological” (his words, not mine) reasons for fighting in the war are irrelevant (to the police and Heroes).

Touya’s Quirk is tied to the intensity of his emotions. The more passionately he feels about something, the more powerful and difficult to manage his fire becomes. Touya became increasingly upset as his and Shouto’s battle went on and the condition of his body deteriorated. He tried unsuccessfully to escape the situation by killing Shouto and the others and was blasted by Phosphor, the equivalent of a high-powered extinguisher designed to protect everyone else from his flames, several times, further damaging him and preventing the extreme heat generated by his Quirk from being more gradually released into the atmosphere, causing thermal energy to build up inside his body to an explosive degree. At the time of Shouto’s final combo attack, Touya was sure he would be killed if he was unable to replicate Shouto’s Phosphor. His ingenuity and strong will to live, or at least not to die, are what allowed him to copy the special technique Shouto had spent considerable time developing and has yet to perfect. Upon regaining consciousness, Touya marveled at his good fortune for having survived Shouto’s finishing move but realized that he would physically fall apart before reaching Endeavor if he wasted any more time on Shouto and the other Heroes, so he called out to Skeptic for help and soon after was warped to the Gunga Mountain Villa Ruins. Touya knew before he had even left the Kamino Ward that he was dying. That would upset anyone. And because he can’t calm down (emotional state), he can’t cool down (physical state) enough to prevent the explosion from happening. Rei, Fuyumi, and Natsuo have been trying for THREE chapters to force-cool him to no avail. How much good is spraying cold water on a raging inferno going to do when it’s fueled by emotions that have only superficially been addressed? What Touya needs is to be comforted and soothed, but the Todorokis don’t seem to know how to comfort and soothe him. And of course they don’t. This is someone they pretended not to see or hear until very recently, someone they turned away and turned away from. How would they know how to console him, and how much comfort are they to him anyway?

There are, of course, other ways to interpret Touya’s lines. Pikahlua is a popular translator here on Tumblr and one I respect. What I translated as “if it was such a simple thing, [you should have done it] sooner” they translated as “if it was as simple as this, [do it] sooner.” They explained their reasoning in this post:

I differ from Pikahlua in that I believe the complete sentence would read more like “you should have done it sooner” than “I wish you had done it sooner” or “do it sooner next time” (I don’t think Touya means for there to be a ‘next time’, and he surely doesn’t expect to live for there to be a ‘next time’). Why do I think that? Well, for starters, “you should have done it sooner” sounds more like Touya/Dabi to my ears than Pikahlua’s alternatives. Then there’s the matter of the illustrations. Touya/Dabi is NOT the first character to be drawn featureless save for their eyes. Himiko and AFO have also appeared like this (in No.348 and No.364, respectively). In both cases, it signaled something very, very bad for the Heroes. Why would Touya/Dabi be any different?

Touya/Dabi and Himiko/Toga in particular look alike. In fact, they look so much alike I can’t help but wonder if the likeness was intentional on Horikoshi’s part:

早く‼︎ はやく‼︎

= “Quickly!!”

急いで‼︎ いそいで‼︎

= “Hurry!!”

拳藤ォ‼︎走れェ‼︎ けんどォ‼︎はしれェ‼︎

= “Kendou!! Run!!”

大丈夫‼︎ だいじょうぶ‼︎

= “It’s okay!!”

大丈夫だからね…‼︎ だいじょうぶだからね…‼︎

= “It’ll be okay…!!”

うん

= Yeah.

だって俺たちには——— だっておれたちには———

= “Because we [have]———”

ゴチンコがいるんだぜ‼︎

= “Five Weenies!!”

間に合え——‼︎ まにあえ——‼︎

= Just in time——!!

Take a close look at Shouto’s face. See that scar? That’s his Hero side. He’s charging onto the battlefield the same way he did last time: as a Hero. See that cold, hard stare? That’s also the same as last time. Compared to Shouto’s “inner teen,” Touya’s looked like a hit dog. He looked like a kid outnumbered and jumped in the locker room by schoolyard bullies. Shouto looked like a vicious wolf, ready to kill; Touya looked like a ram, primed for the killing but trying to project strength and confidence. The week that No.351 dropped, I saw a lot of people on my Twitter timeline claiming that these representations of Shouto and Touya are the same age, but that isn’t true. Their uniforms provide insight into their approximate ages. Shouto is wearing his Sports Festival uniform. He was 15 during the Sports Festival, so his symbolic representation is 15. Touya is wearing a standard black middle school uniform, the same one he is wearing in the photograph on the butsuden. 

The most recent picture of the deceased is placed on the butsuden. Touya’s picture was probably taken just before the winter break from school, during which time he disappeared and was presumed to have perished in the terrible fire that scorched Sekoto Peak. He was 13, a week or two shy of his 14th birthday, and still in middle school (8th grade). Shouto was 15 and a high school freshman (10th grade). Schoolboy Touya is two grades younger than Sports Festival Shouto.

While we’re on the subject, and since I have no idea when or if I’ll ever get around to fully translating No.349-352, let me go ahead and point out that Touya is the only person in the series other than Ten/Tenko/Tomura (and Kaina, if you count Horikoshi’s extras) to have more than one “inner child.” The version of Touya’s “inner child” we see in No.351 (“Schoolboy Touya”) is NOT the version of his “inner child” we see in No.352 sobbing and shrieking as Shouto punches and blasts through him (“Sekoto Peak Touya”). It is also NOT the version of his “inner child” we saw in Vol.31 standing alongside Keigo with Endeavor looming overhead (“3-Year-Old Touya”). Here are all three of Touya’s “inner children,” for reference:

Note that with the exception of the Touyas and the Kainas (child, teen, adult), every other character’s “inner child,” or “core self,” is between the ages of 3 and 6. Izuku and Katsuki’s “inner children” are 4, Shouto’s is 5, Keigo’s is 5 or 6, and Himiko’s is 3. Tomura has two 5-year-old “child” selves (one with black hair, pre-massacre, who I call “Ten,” and one with white hair, post-massacre, who I call “Tenko”) and one “adult” self (“Tomura”). Touya’s “inner children” are 13, 13 (slightly older), and 3. I chose not to include “Dabi” in that list as another one of Touya’s “inner children,” but if we were to consider him one, I think 17 would be a good guess at his “age,” as that is how old Touya was when “Dabi was born” (No.350). 

End.

[emilythenavi-animorpher]

What gemstone/gem tail that associate and meaning with Fairy species?

👑Oberon👑; Sunstone: it is said to be a stone of leadership, encouraging the wearer to be open, benevolent, and willing to bestow blessings upon others. French cut, there is no meaning.

👸Titania👸; Redish-Pink Ruby: The ruby gemstone symbolizes love, passion, vitality, and strength. Princess cut, well it's obvious.

🤴Preston🤴; a mix of blue and yellow Star Sapphire: This gemstone is often called the 'gem of heaven' and symbolizes hope, potential, and dreams. Round or circle shape, there is no meaning.

🧚Sebille🧚; Spirit Quartz: it is a crystal of Harmony and Alignment, the is crystal of Harmony and Alignment. Long octagon cut, there is no meaning.

🌈Amitola🌈; Rainbow quartz: Some people refer to rainbow quartz as a "manifestation stone," meaning that it can help you turn your dreams and goals into reality. Same rhombus shape as Kazumi's gem.

⚡Munja⚡; Pietersite: it is believed to be a stone of vision and can be used for a vision quest or shaman journey. The cloud shape represents the weather.

🪄Jinx🪄; Labradorite: known stone of magic and northern lights. 4 luck clover as good luck charm.

✨Fabian✨; Lapis Lazuli: associated with royalty, strength, courage, wisdom, intellect, friendship, and truth. The oval shape is associated with unity and completeness.

💎Diamond💎; Pink Diamonds: associated with femininity and romance often symbols of tenderness, and sweetness, while representing gracefulness and elegance. Diamond shapes are often associated with royalty.

❇️Emerald❇️; Emerald: they are a symbol of truth and love while symbolizing royalty, but also with, eloquence, and foresight, their personality traits are loyalty, faithfulness, love, as well as peace, harmony, and balance. Emerald-shaped or rectangular shapes represent stability.

💠Moonstone💠; Blue Moonstone to represent the Blue Moon. Round shape to represent the full moon stage.

🌕Mizuki🌕; mix of Rainbow Diamond and rainbow Quartz: same info about rainbow quartz, but there is no info about the rainbow diamond. Unique Gem design which would be the rarest out of fairy species.

🌸Kazumi🌸; a mix of Rose quartz & pink Diamond: Rose quartz is a stone of unconditional love, the stone of universal love Pink Diamond gives spiritual freedom by providing clear thoughts. The rhomb shape is a symbol of strength, and invulnerability often associated with royalty, with the apex symbolizing illumination and the four sides embodying the four elements of a successful relationship: trust, understanding, honesty, and communication.

❄️Cryo❄️; Angelite symbolizes soothing and peaceful energy. Snowflake shaped to represent his ice powers.

☠️Doku☠️; Ruby Zoisite: there is no meaning. Stringer tail or the tension to represent the Scorpion tail so, he can use toxic to paralyze, put them to sleep, and poison them but he doesn't want use that.

🌪️Fuji🌪️; Amethyst: a symbol of peace and unification, the amethyst's personality is multi-talented, courageous, and liked for your honesty. Feather shapes represent her wind and air powers.

⛰️Daichi⛰️; Jasper: they are sacred of physical and spiritual protection, it's considered to be strong-willed and determined, they can be strong of self-confidence, and they aren't afraid to express their opinions, they are known to be passionate, enthusiastic about their in interests and pursuits. Triangle-shaped is a symbol of spiritualism and enlightenment.

🌊Eimi🌊; Aquamarine: symbolizes youth, love, and hope, also represents happiness, hope,e, and everlasting youth, also be associated with tranquility, serenity, clarity, and harmony. Pear/Waterdrop to represent her powers of water.

🔥Kazuya🔥; Carnelian: it's symbolic of the warmth, strength, courage, and creativity. Fire shapes represent her fire powers.

🌿Chikao🌿; Jade: it's a symbol of purity, serenity, and nurturing. Leaf shapes represent his plant powers.

💓Aiko💓; Spinal: it believe to encourage great passion, devotion, and longevity, it symbolizes health, revitalization, and connection to infinite spiritual energy. The heart shape represents the center of emotion, affection, and love especially romantic love.

📖Keitaro📖; Purple Diamond: they are associated with spiritual, enlightenment, and pride. The Eye shaped represents his psychic powers.

☯️Hikari☯️; Red Ruby: it symbolizes passion, protection, and wealth, they are thought to be protective of home, possessions, and family also can seek power, exude charisma, and passion, have a harmonic, hard-working nature while bursting with life. Flower shape, thanks to Inaaya for giving me an idea.

⛓️Tsuyoshi⛓️; Snowflake Obsidian: meaning conquering the unknown, and it can encourage you to identify unhealthy behavioral patterns. The spear tip shape represents a weaponized tail that he'll use for the occasion.

🔮Li Jing🔮; Pink Sapphire: they signify love, elegance, compassion, power, strength, and wise judgment, sapphire rules characteristics like energy, likeness, power, courage, vigor, and passion. Star-shaped represent divine guidance and protection while they symbolize excellence, professionalism, quality, and imagination.

👻Shen👻; Black Obsidian: symbol of power and resilience. Ghost shape to represent his ghost powers.

☀️Kira☀️; Citrine: they can associated with abundance, prosperity, and success. Sun shaped represent her sun powers.

🌙Getsumi🌙; Pale Blue Moonstone: it can channel hope, sensitivity, and abundance. Crescent-shaped represents his moon powers.

Li Jing, Shen, Kira & Getsumi belong to great pal @muncho1234.

Aiko, Keitaro, Hikari, & Tsuyoshi belong to my lovely little sibling Inaaya/@multiverseleaderxxx.

And rest of pure and hybird fairy belong me/@mild-secret-au