#he's a real professional the minions would be proud

[xehanortsreport]

i know the most logical sequence of events is MX meeting up with Braig after he has finished his shifts, but since we only ever see him in uniform I think it's way funnier if Braig was out here doing all his henchman shit on his lunch break.

[richeeduvie]

so we know roman is extremely jealous and territorial about baby and he hates if someone so much as looks at her, so what happens when some man that Logan is trying to make a business deal with is chatting her up and there’s really nothing roman can do about it because Logan would kill him if he sabotages this deal

His entire body squirms, but his neck is the worst when it comes to twitching. He tries to roll his head into his neck. But still, face tense and eyes whiny - hurt, Roman has made sure not to say anything.

You're proud of him.

"You're gonna get your cock drained tonight if you keep it up. But the fact that you're acting as if you'll piss yourself because you can't claw at him is still something punishable."

You tilt your head from side to side to say so-so.

"Not even worth punishing, hence the cock draining. Might as well."

"He's being fucking - he's not even a familiar type of freak. It's just blackening on the heart, his flirting is an equal at what it's like to have to take a shit at the DMV."

"I don't think you've ever been to the DMV."

"You and me got our permits with Connor on the same day. Nice try trying to play pseudo-savior for minimum wage minions."

Roman scratches his neck, jolts his head like a bug just flew into his ear. The man chatting you up must be staring across the room.

"Why aren't you pulling down my pants and gobbling to show his attempts of warming up his cock within the walls of your vagina is pointless. Do you wanna fuck him?"

"This is a professional event for your dad's sake. I don't wanna piss him off by cooing my way through this deal."

Roman slumps against the wall, defeat in his movements. He knows Logan would like it either, that Logan knows very well what the two of you have been since you and his son were fourteen, and as much as the both of you become awkward, panicked fourteen year olds at the thought of Logan witnessing the...intense, you and him and him and you forever PDA, you know Logan's accepted said PDA as well as Patriarch Roy can.

Still, a make-out, a perpetual caress would get harsh eyes from him for you and a backhand on Roman.

"...Just a kiss? Please?"

"You can't possibly be serious."

Roman pffts, snorts. It's all disbelief as he doesn't meet your eyes with his. He fixes the cuffs of his shirt.

"Even though my tone when I'm doing a bit and when I'm being for for real are similar because that's what actually makes it funny and not boring as fuck...I'd think you would know."

You sigh. Roman still doesn't look at you, just his cuffs.

"Just a granny kiss, I'm not prying you up for everything. Just one. Whatever. That's all I'm asking."

He sounds small, even in his defense with all it's sharpness on the tongue. You know you'll have to smile when you kiss him, if you don't, it'll get at Roman more.

Your love for him has to be as pleasurable for you as it is for him.

You peck his cheek. Roman smiles with teeth, eyes low but somehow looking into you. It's love there, as smug as it is.

You check to make sure the room is bustling with no eyes on the both of you before you push him into the wall. It's quick, ending in a loud, blunt thud.

"Ow! What the fuck?"

"Trust me, that shows anyone, including DMV fucks that me...and my vaginal walls are only for you more than a kiss ever could. I love you."

You kiss the corner of Roman's lips before you shove him again.

"Fuck! I'm cumming and also bleeding!"

[famej]

Model

Mammon x Reader

Camera flashes filled the room, capturing the demon’s face. Poses after poses, from cute to extra hot and with or without clothes, every little patch of Mammon has been immortalized.

I was sitting on a bench, far away from all  the lights, on the side of the shooting spot. Mye yes were glued to the handsome demon, unable to understand how this man who always made bad decisions for himself and getting himself in trouble most of the time, coudl also be a model for the most famous fashion brandin all the devildom.

Apparently, his thirst for money could make him do anything and «  anything » meant becoming hot to the point he’d make you wanting more.

The flashes died down and the photographer put his camera down.

-«  Five minutes break and we’ll do the swim suits » he said before the crew scattered around in the studio.

Mammon looked in your direction and waved before leaving his spot and trotted twoard you.

He stopped right in front of you with a bright smile, you stood up.

«  How was it ? Did I make your heart melt with my beauty ? » he teased, flexing his muscles exageeratingly.

After rolling my eyes and chuckling at his antics, I answered :

You were really good ! Honestly I have trouble admitting that the Mammon I kno can be that good looking and charismatic »

«  Ah thanks ! I knew you… Oi ! What does that mean ? I’m always good-looking and charismatic ! And you forgot smart as hell ! »

«  Sometimes more than others… » you teased «  Want some water ? » you asked, grabbing the bottle of fresh water you’d kept especially for him.

He accepted your gift and took a big gulp ; he didn’t even finish drinking that a member of the staff came to take him to get changed.

«  See you later, MC, don’t take your eyes off me  or you’ll miss one of my glorious pose » he shouted through the room before running off.

I shook my head and let myself fall back on the bench.

While Mammon was in the changing room, the background completely changed . The color whent from white to night blue  and on the floor was a sort of low pool of water . Going with this set up came hoses placed above the water. Only with the materials before your eyes, you had a brief idea of what could be the incoming photoshoot.

Next thing, Mammon re-appeared, wearing a white swim trunk, matching his hair and fitting perfectly i ncontrast with his tanned skin. Oh and were those abs I was seeing ? Yeah they were ! It definitely wasn’t the same person you were living with ! The one doing stupid things, who stole his brothers’ stuff to buy ridiculously luxurious items, and who ended more often than not hung by his feet from the chandelier. But this Mammon walked past you, throwing yo a wink over his shoulder before settling in his previous spot. He stepped in the water while the photograph ordered two of his minions to work the hoses.

 « This one will be for summer, you’ll make all the girls fawn over you and the other demons will be crazy jealous ! Give it your all and you’ll be our next face, Mammon » he told his model

The staff turned the hoses on and the avatar of greed received the water from above, switching to super model mode. Arms extended and head lighlty thrown back, eyes closed with a satisfied smile. The water poured down on him, drops glistening on his exposed skin.

«  Yeah ! Just like that ! »

Mammon brought his hands to his hair, pushing his wet mane back, then gave a seductive look at the camera. Followed, was a cliché of him sliding his hands from his neck down to his lower belly, stopping a few seconds on his defined abs. The photographer was capturing every bit of his sexiness as, well as you, trying to immortalize this image in your mind forever.

«  For the last one, be sexy as hell, we want our readers to drool »

The demon grabbed the hem of his swim trunk and lowered it enough so the white hair of his happy trail was exposed. He lowered it even more to show off the very last few of his pubes before his engine. V-line perfectly shadowed and garanteed to please all Majolish fans.

The photographer let out a bunch of satisfied noise and obscene onomatopeias before putting his camera away.

«  Perfect ! Mammon, dear, you will be Majolish next man model, you’re amazing ! »

The latter looked at you and gave you thumbs up, punctued by a wink, with an exaggerated mouth movement. Yeah, usual Mammon was back.

I waited quietly until he came back from changing, all the previous sights of Mammon clear in my head.

« Y/N are yo uready ? »

I shook my head, chasing my impure thoughts away and followed him out of the studio, eager to got my hands on a copy of that magazine.

**

Two weeks later, Majolish had published their new edition of their ashion magazine and on the cover was an unknown handsome demon.

Knwoming the release date, thanks to that unknown demon who kept throwing hints your way, in case you forgot, you decided to wait for the morning opening and buy as much as you could.

When you left, a bunch of girls were gushing over Mammon’s pictures and you thanked yourself for being so well organized, ‘cause the news had spreaded and all the copies have been sold out within the first minutes of the shop’s opening.

The house of Lamentation was rather quiet at this hour, weekends meant that the inhabitants, except Lucifer would sleep in, leaving the household in utter quietness.

So, itw as easy to trottle back to your room without been seen. Arrived there, you sat on your bed and spreaded all the copies on your blanket. Your took one and admire dit. The picture was beautiful, Mammon’s skin was wet, his hair pushed back and trunk low on his hips. Sooooo hot !!! You couldn’t refrain a squeal of happiness. Yo uhad to keep those copies somewhere safe where no one especially the second born, who has the curious habit to rummage through your stuff like a raccoon, would find it.

Speaking of the devil, he bursted through your door, screaming, terrorizing you in the process.

«  MC ! Have you seen the cover ?! I received the picture by e-mail a minute ago. I’m so hot ! »

He speed walked to your bed, not caring that he was still in his pajamas, his hair looking like a bird’s nest.

Before you could do anything, his eyes fells on the numerous magazines.

«  Ugh… »

None answer came to your mind due to the embarrassement you were feeling.

«  How many of these did you buy ? Damn, this picture is amazing ! What do you think ? »

He looked at you intently, his self pide evident on his face.

«  Why do you think I bought some many ? You look marvelous ! »

It was too much to look at him, you kept your eyes on the magazine, hoping that not seeing his face would prevent the incoming blush. The silence became heavy, normally Mammon would blabber nonsense to fill the blanks.

«  AHAHAH Of course I am ! I always look fabulous , I’m the great Mammon after all ! »

It shoulve have sounded so confident but the stutter and blush didn’t make it very convincing.

«  You’re right. I’ve seen you during the photoshoot and it’s not surprising, you’re a really good model. Here, take one as a souvenir, I keep one for myself and distribute the others to your brothers, I bet they’ll be proud of you » you smiled at him, handing him one of the copies.

He seized it and looked at the cover, before lowering the magazine, and looking at the floor.

«  Do…you really think that ? »

He looked adorable when he was flustered. Oh Mammon…

«  Of course ! And if you ever get the other pics I can make an album so you’ll have you own professional book that we can look at whenever we want »

He perked up at your words and dared to show you his flushing face.

«  Well, thanks, I’ll think about it. But… you know, you have the real me to look at right ? »

That made you get off your bed and walk up to him. And got on your tiptoes and kissed his cheek, which made him blush even more than he already was.

«  I know that . But I’m just showing how proud of you I am, Mammon »

And then you wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tightly.

The avatar of greed was speechless, his arms laid at his side,  under  his disbelief. But he slowly  encircled your little frame, letting himself slump against you, even burying his face in the crook of your neck.

«  Thank you » he whispered , holding you thight

«  Don’t thank me for pointing how amazing you are, Mammon »

That was the only thing he need to start tearing up in their embrace, thanking whoever decided to send you to him.

[sepublic]

Kikimora and King Parallels?

           All right, so some discussions I’ve had with @50shades-of-blue have got me further thinking with the idea of Kikimora being King’s parallel. Honestly, I could just be projecting my speculation onto her… But with the smug way she passive-aggressively talks to Lilith in front of those kids, and how quick she is to cave into Luz’s threats while otherwise trying to be proper…

           …She lowkey gives me vibes of King, if he like. Had access to ACTUAL power and authority, like he rode on the coattails of Luz or Eda as they ascended, and he KNOWS he’s above everybody else as a result of this! And he’s proud and smug of it, like, “Look at my friend, they’re so cool and powerful! And I’m THEIR friend, what’re you gonna do about it!?” There’s that subtle energy of being a little shit and a gremlin beneath it all… And Kiki comes across as more ‘mature’ because she’s had more experience, access to lessons on ‘proper manners and dignity’, and isn’t constantly frustrated by a lowly position in society and is thus less prone to temper tantrums, but.

           By the end of the day, she’s still a gremlin, and like King, she can get in over her head; So at the first sight of a legitimate issue, she caves into Luz’s threats (though this could just be blamed on runtime issues), just as King quickly defaults to getting the help of someone like Hooty, or running from Half-Cursed Eda! But maybe like King (or not these characters are also contrasts as well), Kikimora is someone who WILL lay her life down whenever her friends are directly threatened… Hence her genuine concern at seeing what Luz did to Belos, and insisting she avenge him afterwards.

           Then, there’s what @50shades-of-blue suggested about Kikimora having been with Belos since the very beginning… Like, the concept of her having been a lowly grifter/scavenger like King, a petty thief down-on-her-luck and with a napoleon complex because of how helpless she was… But she takes to Belos, and acts as a bad-idea friend and lowkey enabler, sort of like King with Luz… But there IS some tenderness and genuine sweetness, perhaps! Like maybe Kikimora DOES care for Belos as an actual friend and not just a vehicle for power (not to say she doesn’t enjoy those benefits either)…

           And you know how King is an author and talks big of himself? If Kikimora is his parallel, then what if she was someone who helped Belos write propaganda and speeches, helped persuade the Boiling Isles to how GREAT this dude was, wrote history in his favor and basically acted as his hype-woman? Sort of like King, but he’s directing his hype-talk towards his friends, which is also something he’d totally do!

           Alternatively, perhaps her relationship with Belos is a lot less warm… Again, as a contrast to Luz and King amidst the parallels, and like how Lilith and Amity are a lot colder and more professional towards one another! Perhaps as a dark reflection of Luz and King’s friendship, Belos and Kikimora only really value one another for what the other can provide; Belos lets Kiki around because she acts as his public face, hyping him up to young generations and spreading his lies to the news outlets. While Kiki supports Belos, because this means power and authority- Almost commensalistic, but Kikimora still has her own things to provide!

           Maybe Kikimora’s relationship with Belos is like King, where she gets away with stuff because she can basically ‘hide behind Belos’ for protection, even if she’s also capable of magic as well! Can you imagine a younger Kiki acting like King, getting a younger Belos roped into her ludicrous schemes to get power or money or whatever, and like Luz, Belos goes along with it… But because he’s not exactly Luz, Belos keeps doing things without really considering the consequences? And he rises as Kikimora’s ‘top minion’ but eventually seizes control for himself… But at the same time he still keeps Kikimora around as a friend and a subordinate, you know?

           And so it’s this idea of Kikimora having lowkey raised him/assisted in his rise to power, kind of like King was a reliable friend to Luz and treats her like as his ‘top minion’, but also as a real friend and makes sure to give her emotional support and love himself! And just as Luz is shaping up to be a powerful witch and likes to humor King’s fantasies, Kikimora helped Belos ‘ascend’ from common thief, as he began to take initiative and control once he got used to how things worked! Just as Luz makes the decision to challenge Belos in Eda’s absence, while King happily follows, even if he also sees himself as having to take care of and protect Luz, regardless of the fact that it’s likely to be the other way around!

           Imagine Belos and Kiki having been like Luz and King, except there’s no Eda to keep them in line… Perhaps their relationship was also a bit more toxic, with Kikimora treating Belos more like an underling at times, but either way some fondness still existed, so when Belos DID rise and ‘overthrow’ Kiki, he still kept her around as a subordinate… Maybe in part to flex the reversal of roles, and because she has genuine use as his hype-woman and not somebody who’s a walking, melting body horror of a flesh-puppet.

          But still; Imagine Dark Luz and King, except they’re just very selfish and enabling towards one another without stopping for self-reflection! Perhaps some issues will come into play about Kiki wanting Belos for himself or something alone those lines, or Belos forgetting about his friend in favor of other connections… Who knows? If Belos is Luz if she never learned her lessons, then perhaps Kikimora could be King sans character development!

          What if when Belos and Kiki first met, she also threatened to eat him or whatever like King joked about, and for a while Belos was legit afraid of this… But he also still hung around her because she provided companionship and guidance! Like Luz and King, troublemakers with hearts of gold, but those hearts are only directed towards one another, mostly, and otherwise they do NOT care about how others are harmed! Basically just utter children by this point.

          For all we know, Kiki’s own past immaturity (a mirror to King’s) lowkey influenced Belos into becoming the horrific, genocidal dictator he is today, a man with no regards for the lives of others he doesn’t care about or who don’t ‘fit in’ with this ideals! Like, perhaps like King during Really Small Problems, Kikimora didn’t want to lose Belos and was possessive of him…

          But instead of maturing, Kikimora opted to isolate Belos from any other friends and positive influences, which contributed to Belos becoming so terrible! And if Belos realizes this, or does… Would he care? Would he care on the principle of how reliable Kiki is to him, or have they reached a point where she’d never betray him regardless because of what SHE has to lose? Not to mention how Belos may see his current path in life as the ‘proper’ one, so perhaps Kiki isolating him was for the best….

          Maybe it’ll directly parallel King’s antics with the Trash Slug, or Sergeant New Guy; Maybe Kiki was even deliberately harsh towards Belos to keep her sense of power and control, but also to keep him dependent upon her… But in the end, Belos became stronger and rebelled! But at the same time, he still kept Kikimora around… Perhaps because there was still some fondness there? Because they still had uses for one another? Maybe Kikimora still has some level of control and manipulation over Belos, at least enough to convince him to keep her around, even if she’s no longer in charge like she used to be…

          And just as Belos may be codependent and even parasitic to the Titan, perhaps Kikimora is the same to him as well? Or at the very least it’s a lot better… Could you imagine if Belos ‘realizes’ Kikimora’s power/manipulation over him? And Belos decides that he’s had enough of her ‘parasitically’ riding on his coattails, but not providing him anything that couldn’t easily be replaced… So he cuts ties by firing Kikimora and replacing her? And alone and dejected, Kiki has nowhere else to gobesides the Owl House?

          Alternatively, Kikimora acts as the only person Belos will listen to that can actively act as a buffer between him and going completely all-out with no reservations or brakes… But then Belos decides to ‘discard’ her because he thinks Kikimora is limiting him, when in reality he’s actually keeping Belos from going too far? Maybe she’ll act as his Voice of Reason, as the only person Belos will listen to when it comes to criticisms and reconsidering his actions…

          Only for that to abruptly end as the Day of Unity nears and Belos becomes more anxious? As Belos’ public face, Kikimora could function as someone who reins the Emperor in. because she’s most familiar with/concerned about the Emperor’s Coven appearing palatable to Belos’ subjects, given how that’s her entire job? So she’ll sometimes advise Belos NOT to utterly eradicate this small community off the face (not the actual skull) of the Boiling Isles, just beat them into submission?

          Not out of a genuine concern for these people, mostly just to be pragmatic, and/or she IS concerned about Belos getting a little too nuts… Then again, we also see Kikimora suggest attacking the Owl House in retaliation for Belos’ damage, and it’s Belos who makes the decision on his own to ‘sate’ the public by pretending to spare Eda’s life, and doesn’t bother trying to actively arrest/suppress them –even if they’re in the middle of the Conformatorium- because that’s just not necessary, and he has better things to do?

          So perhaps instead, Kikimora will operate from an inferiority complex and be the hotheaded one, like King, vouching for Belos to utterly annihilate his opponents, just as King tells Luz to ‘beat up the man and steal his things’, while Belos/Luz offer a more calm, pragmatic approach that doesn’t require violence because they’re more practical like that? Or alternatively…

          It’s BOTH options, just like how King will sometimes encourage Luz to decimate their opponents, but when the time calls for it, he can act as a voice of reason and tell Luz NOT to challenge the Emperor himself! Sometimes Belos wants to commit genocide and Kiki has to rein him in, because what of his reputation…? And sometimes Kikimora will want to go for the nuclear option while Belos calmly suggests just reasoning with people and keeping them satisfied!

          Kikimora suggests making petrifications hidden from the public to prevent them from turning on Belos… But then the Season Finale happens, she feels power slipping away and panics in-part because of her inferiority complex, so she suggests petrifying the ENTIRE crowd as an example! And of course, Belos calmly reminds Kikimora that this isn’t necessary, that believe it or not, people won’t rebel if they’re given what they want!

          Kikimora advises revenge against the Owl House because her pride has been hurt, because she’s felt threatened and vulnerable for the first time in a LONG while, which means she has to utterly eradicate the opposition to leave no room for doubt who’s in charge, to leave no chance of more threats? But Belos is calm, and has control of the situation, he’s not as insecure as Kikimora and is thus less liable to acting rashly when he feels threatened. In essence, they both take turns sharing the brain cell… Just like Luz and King!

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 4 episode 17

"Absolute Power"

Notes by me

- abydos !!! Kasuf!!!! Abydos needs to always be Noted bc it was the First Planet < 3

- the ghost of sha're perhaps? Ive always said this show needs more ghosts

- goggles

- The sand speaks to Daniel. He is the sand god, guardian of the sand

- poseidon quivers before him

- "whos calling???" Hes so professional

- STEP SON!!!!!!! "Shifu" I love you, you are so cute omg

- this kids got ears for days

- I wish I had nanobot to make me grow fast. Would love to be 7 feet tall within 2 weeks

- Oma taught him to forget certain things. I would also like to have this power, there are certain things i would like to forget not gonna get into specifics

- "its always better to have a big long wick" someone arrest him

- am I finally getting Daniel and Step Son content . if I dont, this is false advertising

- this kid talks in riddles like Gollum

- wouldnt be surprised if he started saying "it cannot be seen, it cannot be felt...."

- awkward! Poor Daniel has to talk about apophis being his biological father

- "wed be filling his head with a thousand hitlers" colorful description

- Daniel in protective dad mode

- they want to go into this poor kids head who wants to bet this is a bad idea

- shifu is very Asian culture and it looks great on him

- OR WE CAN BLAST DANIEL TO THE FLOOR you know normal father son bonding time

- no glasses! Daniel

- he gave him the memories didnt he

- this episode was written for me specifically

- is Daniel becoming evil ? The writers love me

- is he reading WITHOUT glasses????

- oh boy hes lost his shit

- Very dismissive of tealc , almost like hes a goAULD!!!!!

- his IQ fucking spiked

- jack: youre being a little bitch!

Daniel:

- this isnt good! Could explode his brain!

- visions of Blasting Jack with a ribbon device is normal I suppose

- visions of killing apophis...less normal

- ONE WHOLE ASS YEAR LATER????

- he lives in a mansion like a rich bitch

- shifu is living with him😭😭💖💖

- ah his marbles are no where to be found

- everyone wants to BEAT HIS ASS and yeah I would like to see it

- HE HAD TEALC MURDERED IM CANCELLING DANIEL HE IS NO LONGER A "SMOL BOI" HE IS NOW ENEMY NUMBER 1

- okay of course he has cameras in the prison. this is just normal insane rich ppl stuf

- the over confidence. Shanks stop making me love u

- Daniel wit those white pants

- he has his own SPACE SHIP ???? Wheres my space ship

- *shoots Daniel with no hesitation*

- okay that didnt work. Plan b for Before he kills you

- "you never were that bright" alright. He needs to die. *cocks gun*

- jack: its the goauld! Theyre controlling you!!

Daniel: youre forgetting one thing. I'm an asshole

- he just blew up moscow and his minions are like just another day at work

- omg it all in his head JUST LIKE WHAT SHA'RE DID TO HIM

- shifu was proving the govrnt cant be trusted????

- or that the memories of the goaulds is too dangerous to remember

- daniel in a coma one minute, doing a jig the next

- oma is a good Mama 😭

- "thank you for telling me of my mother"

"She would have been proud of you"

"Of you as well"

- leave me alone I need to Process

- hes the same being as Oma (big light thing)

- BYE SHIFU I LOVE YOU I HOPE WE MEET AGAIN SWEET BOY 💖💖💖

~

Whump under the cut

Daniel jackson whump: shifu touches his forehead and his finger emits a bright light, Daniel falls to the floor with a yell and passes out. .noises, hospital scene, vivid recall, intrusive memories/visions, is generally evil thru out episode

No glasses!Daniel 🤓 several scenes thru out the episode for several minutes

🎶listening to Awake by Josh Groban🎶 just thinking about Daniel telling shifu about all the times he and sha're sat together and talked about archeology and him teaching her about languages and her teaching him about ancient Egyptian culture and shifus face lighting up at everything Daniel is saying bc this is his REAL dad and maybe some things he heard about sha're are familiar bc he does those too? Maybe they have the same laugh. Maybe they both like star gazing. Maybe they both like wearing daniels glasses to tease him. The words of this song also remind me of daniels depression about her death and how much he misses her but I like to think he found a little peace in telling her son about how much he loved her.

[stillness-in-green]

Stress Management

Guess who woke up with post-Deika Shigaraki/Re-Destro on the brain?  (Spoilers: it me.)  

A few months after Deika, when everyone is beginning to settle into the new status quo, Rikiya finally gets to meet Shigaraki’s other most mysterious ally.  (Content Warning: Ujiko, Shigaraki being kind of handsy.)

       ---  ---  ---       ---  ---  ---       ---  ---  ---       ---  ---  ---       ---  ---  ---

When Rikiya entered the lab, mouth still tasting unpleasantly of bitter black ichor, his first thought upon seeing the twelve tubes and their contents was, Ah.  So, we never could have won, after all.  

“Why didn’t you bring these with you to Deika?” he asked, gaze taking in the obsidian-black Noumu floating in their rows.  “It would have saved everyone some injury and expense.”

Shigaraki Tomura, slouching as ever undisturbed behind him, huffed out, an edge of exasperation to the sound.  He didn’t have time to answer, though, as the figure in the chair at the end of the room turned to face them.  

“He hadn’t earned them yet,” the little man replied, eyes masked behind thick green lenses.  

Curious, how much function shaped form.  Rikiya had never met a true mad scientist before, but of course he had imagined how this one might look when Shigaraki had, the day prior, called him out of the blue and told him to make time for a doctor’s appointment.  And here Ujiko-obvious-pseudonym-Daruma sat, a perfect embodiment of Rikiya’s idle imaginings.  

“I have to thank you!” the man went on.  “The winter training retreat was getting fairly dull, but I couldn’t ask for a better result.”  

“Training retreat?” Rikiya echoed, raising an eyebrow.  He looked back at Shigaraki, who never had bothered to explain what he and his team were doing up in Niigata when the Liberation Army made contact.  “How—youthful.”  

Shigaraki rolled his eyes—a perfectly youthful response—and the doctor chortled.  

“Come, come.  Sit down, Yotsubashi Rikiya!  I want to talk about your quirk.”  

A skinny robotic arm extended from behind Ujiko’s chair (truly, the Platonic ideal of what one imagined when asked ‘what sort of man creates things like the Noumu?’) and indicated the rather more mundane folding chair across from him.  

Rikiya hesitated for only a moment—he still wasn’t accustomed to his new prosthetics, and that cluttered floor looked to be a nightmare—before a hand alighted between his shoulder blades.  He stiffened at the four little points of contact, his skin prickling, suddenly hyper-sensitive to where the fifth might fall.  

“You heard him,” Shigaraki Tomura, middle finger hovering, said in the casual voice of a man who knew he didn’t need to threaten.  He pushed Rikiya forward—well, pressed him forward.  Despite everything, Shigaraki lacked the physical strength to do more than suggest. Suggestion might as well be doctrine, though, when it came from a hand like his—certainly if one appreciated the uncertainty of living another day.  Rikiya went, picking his regrettably wobbly way over the sprawling oversized cables.  Shigaraki ambled along behind, hands back in his pockets.

Manilla folders sitting upright in a wire organizer, a somewhat dated laptop computer, a mug full of writing utensils—up close, Ujiko’s desk was a spot of normalcy amidst the lab’s draping shadows and looming, flickering observation monitors.  As Rikiya sat down, the doctor examined his new legs with a professional eye.  

“Better quality than that stump your magician was working with,” Ujiko aimed over Rikiya’s shoulder, to the sound of a snort from Shigaraki.  

“You haven’t seen what they put together for him since then.”  

“Detnerat is very proud of our upcoming prosthetic line,” Rikiya put in, aware of the commercial-quality falsity of his good cheer.  “Those who give their all in the line of duty deserve only the best.”  

Shigaraki actually laughed at that, a throaty snicker mostly drowned out by Ujiko’s slapping at the arm of his chair amidst belly-shaking guffaws.  The sounds echoed up through the canyon-curve contours of the room, perfectly at home and perfectly unsettling.  Rikiya didn’t move, didn’t react, didn’t let the smile fall off his face, but felt his stress spots swell a fraction of an increment larger.  

“Government subsidies!” Ujiko barked in his humor.  “They do buy the best, eh?”  

Rikiya settled for inclining his head.  Modesty was generally a good tactic, he’d found.  

Still chuckling, the doctor pulled a folder over and slid a sheet of paper out of it.  Rikiya accepted it when offered and skimmed over the contents as the other man brought himself back under control.  

“Does it look accurate?” he asked, his mustache still bristling around a smile.  

Rikiya’s name, his alias, a brief on his meta-ability (titled his quirk, of course), one on his personal history, followed by a section on one half of his parentage and that man’s ability.  The paper was a non-standard size and, sure enough, the bottom looked slightly uneven, as if a portion had been cut away.  

“In general, yes,” he replied, trying to pass it back over, then letting it settle in his lap when Ujiko made no move to take it.  “What did the rest say?”  

“Considerations for my work here,” Ujiko answered, prompt if unspecific.  “Now, tell me!  You transform your ‘stress’ into power.  Was there ever a time when you did so inadvertently?  Can it happen by reflex, or must it always be a conscious choice?”  

“It does have an accumulation condition, if that’s what you mean.  Imagine the board meetings if it worked solely on reflex!”  

Ujiko did not laugh at that joke, only leaned closer in interest, eyes narrowing behind his goggles.  That proximity was less alarming, though, than the sudden twin weights on his back.  

Shigaraki had leaned on him—not dropped those deadly hands over his shoulders, but, from the feel of it, propped his thin elbows on them instead.  He was close enough that Rikiya felt the brush of his hair—still overlong despite Rikiya’s tentative suggestion of a trim and Trumpet’s frequent backroom complaining.  

Rikiya’s stress markings gave another twinge.

“Ho!  Hohoho!  So there is a degree of reflex involved!”  Rikiya looked back up to find Ujiko staring intently at his forehead.  “What admirable self-control you must have, then!”

“Getting brought up to be a cult leader will do that for you,” Shigaraki said, the sneer audible in his voice.  

Rikiya almost opened his mouth to protest the designation, but the sensation of Shigaraki’s fingers (his good hand; he seldom wore the prosthetic Detnerat had produced for him) tapping restlessly over his shoulder killed the objection before it could reach the internal committee governing the kinds of smart remarks Rikiya allowed himself to make out loud.  

No rhythm, no real pattern, but somehow never all five fingers at once.  Rarely even four, in fact.  And Shigaraki Tomura was the successor of All For One, as that beast who had so recently joined his group unceasingly reiterated in its refusal to call the youth by name.

Really, it’s no wonder he laughed so freely back then.  Rikiya relaxed, incrementally, ignoring the doctor’s interested hum.  I must ensure he’s able to do so again soon.

Ujiko, it became rapidly clear, had brought him in to sound out his quirk for the purposes of placing it in one of his Noumu.  Quite an alarming prospect—I’m afraid I can’t be parted from it! he’d said with jovial force—until Ujiko waved off the protest with a dismissive comment about rudimentary genetic splicing he’d mastered in college.  

“Even so, it’s quite distinct, as meta-abilities go,” Rikiya argued.  “Part of why I can do what I do is my position.  I can’t have that position brought into question by a High-End Noumu rampaging through, oh, Sapporo or somewhere, with stress blots mottling its skin every time a hero lands a good hit.”  

Before Ujiko had done more than inhale to volley back, one of Shigaraki’s spidery fingers touched Rikiya’s forehead, causing them both to look up.

“No one would see it.” Shigaraki’s red eyes flicked to Rikiya’s and away.  The young man’s touch skated lazily over his skin, following the pulsing movements of his stress markings—across his temple, around the hollow of his eye, over the bridge of his nose.  “I’ve seen you covered head-to-toe in this gunk.  It’s not that different-looking from those things.”  

Ujiko sputtered briefly, probably torn—at a guess—between protesting the unique wonders of his “children” or backing up Shigaraki in hopes of swaying Rikiya’s opinion.  Shigaraki went on.

“If I know the doc, they’ll all perform different anyway.  One with your quirk”—he paused, then grinned wide enough that it probably hurt his cracked lips, and continued in a mocking tone—“sorry, your meta-ability.  People won’t even raise an eyebrow, as long as it’s just doing the armor-buff thing.”

“Naturally they all perform differently; that’s called scientific progress, you brat,” Ujiko said with his strange, amicable malice, then reoriented.  “In any case, Mr. CEO, as you’ve pointed out, you don’t make a habit of getting into brawls in front of news cameras.  Just good sense, really.  Until you all decide what you’re going to do with that footage out of Deika, no one even knows what the combat applications of your quirk look like.”  

“Think Skeptic’ll leak a video or two?”  Shigaraki leaned over him, leering.

“Of course not,” Rikiya demurred.  “Not Skeptic or anyone else.  They are all loyal to Destro’s will.”  

“And remind me who’s the one carrying that these days?”  

Rikiya sighed, settling back into the chair.  Shigaraki’s weight shifted with the movement; he was left curled over Rikiya’s right shoulder, radiating self-satisfaction.  Rikiya truly had not expected the leader of the League of Villains to be so—touchy-feely?  One day, he hoped to gain enough of Shigaraki’s favor to find out whether it was a mark of affection or a display of dominance, or perhaps some strange blend of both.  

“You, Shigaraki Tomura,” he said, voice level.  “As I said in the ruins of Deika.”  

“Right.  So be a good minion and roll up a sleeve for the nice doctor.”  

Rikiya obeyed.  

“How droll.  Well, he’s no Gigantomachia, young man, but he’s not a bad start,” Ujiko said with shades of approval, rummaging in his desk and pulling out a syringe with unsettling rapidity.  He drew two vials of blood, movements brisk and efficient—part of Rikiya, the part not preoccupied with the way Shigaraki’s chin tilted into a prouder angle at the compliment, considered this evidence that, terrifyingly, Ujiko Daruma might actually run some kind of day-world clinic where he worked as a perfectly normal doctor, all-unbeknownst to an unsuspecting populace.

The bright blue and yellow child’s band-aid he applied to Rikiya’s arm after removing the needle did little to allay the suspicion.  What a disturbing souvenir, he thought, rolling his sleeve down as they stood up.

“Where will it be?” Ujiko asked, pulling a truly appalling assemblage of brain and legs, red tennis shoes and bulging eyeballs into his lap like a favored pet.  “Back to the office?”  

Pulling his jacket back on, Rikiya looked down at Shigaraki.  “I keep a water pitcher in the mini-fridge.  It should help with the—flavor residue.”

“The office, yeah. I wanna hear more about that hero line of yours.  See you ‘round, Doc.”  

A grunt from Ujiko, whose attention was obviously straying further by the second, and then the sudden engorgement of sticky fluid, bursting in his mouth like a rotten grape. This method of transportation really was just awful.

Back at the office, Shigaraki spat the goo out onto the tile with no sign of embarrassment whatsoever and stalked over to the mini-bar.  Rikiya sighed.  The young man had no manners at all.  

But then, etiquette was one of the first restraints one learned as a child.  Of course, there were limits to how charming such coarseness could be, but…  

He allowed himself a small smile.  

Well, it wasn’t as if it was the worst thing Custodial had ever had to clean up off his floor.  

      ---  ---  ---       ---  ---  ---       ---  ---  ---       ---  ---  ---       ---  ---  ---

(And now I’m going to post this on AO3, where, incidentally, everyone who likes this pairing should go read the other post-Deika fic about it, A Different Kind of Weight.)

[thisiswhatwereupagainst]

An assortment of little-known Marvel characters that I like! Info on them under the cut:

Aqueduct - Peter Van Zante was a soldier in Vietnam who gained his aquakinetic abilities from an experimental medical procedure that saved his life. He originally called himself The Water Wizard and tried to use his powers for simple robbery, but was stopped by the Ghost Rider, who traumatized him so badly that he spent time afterwards in a mental institution. However, he did not change his villainous ways, and later joined Force of Nature, a quartet of supervillains who each had an elemental power and worked as the muscle for a group of eco-terrorists. He renamed himself Aqueduct with them, and has gone by it since. Aqueduct is not a bright man, that’s probably fortunate, as his water powers could be far more lethal if he had more ideas on how to use them effectively. He’s also moody, being very down on himself when he fails, and euphorically egomaniacal the second he starts to win. Overall though, he seems happier since he quit his solo act and joined a team! Asp - A longtime member of The Serpent Society and later the B.A.D. Girls, The Asp hails from Egypt, and is a mutant with the ability to fire what she calls “venom bolts”–  a unique form of radiant bioelectricity that she can channel as lightning-like blasts  that causes a rapid paralysis of the nervous system similar to the effect of the neurotoxic bite of certain venomous snakes. Asp’s real name is allegedly Cleopatra “Cleo” Nefertiti, but given that she is also an exotic dancer in addition to a mercenary, it is likely this is a stage name. Though she is often a villain, Asp is still articulate, polite, intelligent, proud of her dancing, and a loyal friend. Black Mamba - Another member of the Serpent Society, as well as a B.A.D Girl alongside her best buddy Asp, Black Mamba aka Tanya Sealy (who has also used the alias of “Tanya Sweet”) gained her succubus-like Darkforce powers when the Roxxon company augmented her into a superhuman. This granted her the ability to summon “love phantoms”, living shadows that appear as the person that the target loves and desires most, and drain their victim’s life as they embrace them in coitus. Tanya was also given the ability to breathe and otherwise function deep underwater, as Roxxon needed her for an undersea mission, though she’s had little occasion to use this since. Tanya has also worked as a fashion model and professional escort in addition to her supervillainy/mercenary jobs, and was even a superhero in the Women Warriors for a time alongside Asp and Skein. Tanya is a loyal friend like Asp, and considers herself an expert on sex and romance, as well as a great lover of men…and of money! Skein - Sybil Dvorak is a Romanian mutant with the fairly common ability of telekinesis, but due to the fact she can “feel” whatever her telekinesis is manipulating, she refuses to use her powers on anything except soft objects like fur, feather, and fabric. She originally called herself the unfortunate moniker of Gypsy Moth, using fabric wings to lift herself in the air, and attacked high class parties to frighten the rich for fun due her belief that her wealthy actor boyfriend was cheating on her. After his mysterious death left her with his house and money, she nonetheless continued her criminal activities. However, she joined the “good guys” for a short time (and shallow reasons) in the 90s, taking the new codename of Skein, making a new and very revealing costume, and showing a new hyper-sexual, flirtatious, thrill-seeking personality, in contrast to the cold, formal persona she had as Moth. Impala - She’s a mysterious woman from Zambia who is known only by her codename. She has no known superpowers, but is extremely athletic, agile, and skilled in African stick-fighting. Impala is said to be wanted for crimes in her homeland, but she seems to be more simply a thrill-seeking adventurer rather than any sort of villain. For instance, she once joined a fight she had no reason to be in, simply to even the odds, and she aided Asp and Black Mamba simply for the fun of it (making Impala an honorary/temporary BAD Girl too) In addition to loving danger, Impala also seems quite proud of her body, given her revealing costume and the way she taunts other women (such as calling the not-even-overweight Battleaxe “obese one”) who are not as lithe and lean as she is. Dragonfly - Nothing is known about the life of Veronica Dultry before the Maggia altered her for Count Nefaria into one of his Ani-Men to do battle with the X-Men. It is also unknown if her transformation is willing or not. We do later learn that she has an estranged sister, Margaret, who is a famous actress, who tries to take advantage of Veronica when she mutates further into a giant dragonfly-like monster due to absorbing radiation. This transformation is, thankfully, reversed, though Dragonfly has yet to change her villainous ways—or show any actual personality on-panel. Besides her ability to fly with her insect-like wings, Dragonfly can also hypnotize others with a psychic signal that emits from her antennae. Meggan Puceanu - Meggan Puceanu is a British Romanichal mutant with an array of powers, namely control of nature and the four elements, a powerful link to mystical and magical energies, and being an “empathic metamorph” who changes her shape to reflect the feelings and desires of people around her. This last one caused her to be severely physically mutated as a child, and, not knowing she could willfully change her shape, she grew up kept in her family’s camper with only the television for company. As an adult, she took on a beautiful blonde form and join the British superhero team Excalibur, becoming Captain Britain’s girlfriend. Meggan was naive and insecure, and became very dependent on Captain Britain, who often did not treat her well. However, they have both grown considerably since, and the two now have a child. Threnody - Melody Jacobs is a mutant with a unique link to death (hence her codename; a “threnody” is a song of mourning), allowing her to sense when someone is dying, and absorb the release of energy from their passing. What’s more, she can then rechannel this energy as destructive blasts. It seems that this sensitivity to death drove her to insanity, and she was found by Sinister as a delusional, rambling homeless woman. He outfitted her with small “neuro-locks” on the sides of her face helped control her powers, and she regained sanity, but also had to serve him. Seeking to free herself, she attached herself to Nate Grey, and eventually fell in love with him. However, when she became addicted to the death of other people, she found herself feeding on the death energies that clung to Nate Grey due to how his own powers were killing him—and her feeding on him just weakened him further. For his own good, Threnody broke his heart and left him. Her tragedy did not end there, however, for she gave birth to a monstrous child that also needed to feed on death energy. She teamed up with Deadpool so that she could collect the death energy of his kills for her baby, but Deadpool himself ended up killing her child when she tried to murder a pregnant woman for it. Threnody has not been seen since, but wherever she is, it’s doubtful that she is happy. Darkstar - Laynia Petrovna and her twin brother Nikolai were mutants born in the Minsk. Previously it had been the policy of the USSR to kill all mutants, but shortly before Laynia’s birth, they decided that it would be better to use them to serve the state. Thus Laynia and her twin were taken away as newborns and raised, along with a mutant called Ursus who could transform into a bear, at a state facility. Laynia was able to control the Darkforce, enabling her to fly, fire concussive force blasts of darkness, and create constructs out of darkness such as shields or platforms. From this, she took the codename Darkstar, and served Russia as a superhero. She later joined X-Corps and served with them in Paris, where she was killed on a mission. However, as is typical of Marvel characters, she returned to life and has returned to Russia to serve in the Winter Guard, Russia’s post-Soviet superhero squad. Starlight - Dr. Tania Belinsky was a brilliant neurosurgeon in the USSR who struggled with her love for her country and her hate for some of what her government was doing. Though she had no superpowers, she had a secret vigilante identity as the Red Guardian (not to be confused with several other Russian heroes who had this name) and joined the Defenders when she came to America to help Dr. Strange with a brain surgery case. However, she was forced to return by the KGB, who took her to the supervillain known as The Presence (who was also the long-lost father of Darkstar, by the way). He had decided she was his ideal mate, and he exposed her to radiation to give her powers like his own. She gained new powers, such as flight and nuclear blasts and the new name of Starlight, but at the expensive of her free will. Poor Tania was now under the mental thrall of the Presence and served him as both his lover and minion. She eventually freed herself and joined the Winter Guard as a superhero once more. Silhouette Chord - Silhouette Chord was born with the power to control and teleport through shadow. She and her twin brother, who had enhanced strength and reflexes, tried to clean up the streets of their native NYC by infiltrating gangs. After a sting gone wrong, however, Silhouette lost the use of her legs when a policeman’s bullet went through her spine, and her brother became a gang leader for real. Silhouette went the opposite path, joining the superhero team The New Warriors and becoming the lover of fellow member Night Thrasher. She and her brother later discovered that their unique abilities came from being the product of a cult in Cambodia that had sought to create super-powered children through years of selective breeding that would allow them to tap into the mystical energies of “The Well of All Things”. Snowbird - Narya is the half-human daughter of the goddess Nelvanna, part of a fictional pantheon in Marvel called “the Inua” who are associated with the First Nations people of Canada.  The Inua are opposed to a group of monsters called The Great Beasts who seek to invade Earth, and Narya was conceived in order to one day battle them. She was raised by Dr. Michael Twoyoungmen, a Native Canadian and the most proficient shaman in Canada, and she grew rapidly to adulthood. She also grew rapidly into her powers, which included flight and the ability to change into any animal native to her homeland. The two were discovered by the Canadian government and offered membership into the superhero team Alpha Flight. They accepted, taking on the identities of Shaman and Snowbird respectively. Mysterious and aloof, Snowbird is easily overwhelmed by the instincts of her animal form, disoriented by bright lights and colors, prefers to hunt her own own food, and was often very overconfident in her own abilities. After The Great Beasts were seemingly all slain, she desired a normal life…yet returned to being Snowbird at the first subsequent emergency. Cybele - Cybele is an Eternal, a race of immortal and super-powered beings who are a cousin race to humans, engineered by the “space god” Celestials. Cybele has been around since Ancient Greece, where she was worshipped as Rhea, Gaia, and other “earth-mother” goddesses. She is a very minor character herself, but is the mother of Thena, an Eternal who chose to become a superhero among humankind. After the death of her husband Zuras, Cybele chose to leave the other Eternals, and dwells alone in a Colorado forest. In addition to the usual myriad abilities of Eternals, Cybele can also block herself from the senses of others, essentially becoming invisible to them, making it easy to keep herself concealed in the nature she so loves. Saturnyne - Hailing from one of the countless worlds within the Marvel multiverse, Opal Luna Saturnyne is the Omniversal Majestrix, Her Royal Whyness, who dwells with Roma the Omniversal Goddess in her Starlight Citadel as her second-in-command and helps her oversee the Marvel multiverse and all its worlds. Not so much on the side of good as the side of order, Saturyne is intelligent, ambitious, and a ruthless cutthroat bureaucrat with no qualms about wiping out an entire world if it is for the greater good of the multiverse…though she does carry a soft spot for the Captain Britain of Earth 616. Sat-Yr-9 - Opul Lun Say-Yr-9 is the evil counterpart of Saturnyne from another dimension. A dictator in her own world, she was overthrown and imprisoned by her people, until she escaped to the dimension of Earth 616. Once there, she killed her counterpart in that universe (Courtney Ross, an ordinary banker and the ex of Captain Britain), took her place, and bedeviled Captain Britain and the Excalibur team ever since. She in particular seemed to have great plans for Shadowcat, whom she was grooming for as of yet unknown purposes until her true identity was revealed to Excalibur. To the wider world, however, she is still believed to be Courtney Ross, and she even became the White Queen of the Hellfire Club under this identity. Aireo - Aireo is an Inhuman who rebelled against King Black Bolt, and was imprisoned for it. Black Bolt’s treacherous brother Maximus, who desired the throne for himself, freed Aireo and a crew of other Inhuman rebels if they agreed to serve him in his schemes, which they did. Aireo was exiled from the Inhuman city of Attilan for this, and joined Force of Nature with the codename “Skybreaker”. While Aqueduct represented the element of water, Aireo/Skybreaker boasted the element of air, being able to fly and manipulate wind. Aireo is haughty, proud, and disdainful of all humanity, as is typical of Inhumans, though he is also quite critical of how his own species runs their world as well. Poor guy just isn’t happy anywhere!

[astrofireworks]

STORYTIME THAT MAY INDUCE BINU. I WAS SHOPPING TODAY WITH MY FRIEND FOR A DRESS TO THIS WEDDING AND I WALKED OUT OF THE DRESSING ROOM TO LOOK IN THE FULL LENGTH MIRROR IN THE HALLWAY AREA THAT PEOPLE WAIT IN FOR PEOPLE TO COME OUT IN THE CLOTHES THEY TRIED AND I THOUGHT SHE WAS RIGHT THERE BUT SHE WASN'T AND I ASKED "HOW DO I LOOK" AND THERE WASN'T A RESPONSE UNTIL A RANDOM DUDE'S VOICE SAID "YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD WIN A PAGEANT" AND HE WAS THE ONLY ONE THERE. IN CONCLUSION, I GOT HIS NUMBER

LISTEN WEDDING ANON YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE WEDDINGS ???????? TRIPS OVER MYSELF TO PRESENT U: MORE BINU TRASH

“Guys, we need to tell you something." 

Jinjin’s sitting opposite Bin and Rocky in one of their favourite cafes, hand tightly clutching MJ’s under the table 

Bin looks at Rocky 

Rocky looks at Bin

Oh my god

It can’t be 

??????? 

Bin, cautiously: "You’re pregnant?" 

Rocky, nodding fervently: ????? 

Bin: "listen we told you to have safe se-" 

Jinjin reaches across with his free hand & knocks Bin’s head into Rocky’s

They might be best friends but 

Truly his best friends are idiots 

"He said yes!!!!" 

And before they know it Rocky sees Jinjin swing his & MJ’s hands above the table, silver bands glinting in the light

And it’s suddenly all celebration and laughter and MJ squealing and Bin choking in glee and Jinjin beaming proudly and Rocky has never, never felt this proud of Jinjin in his life 

His hyung might be an idiot but !!!!! Now he’s officially MJ’s idiot and Rocko couldn’t be prouder 

!!!!!!!!!!! 

@ myungjin: "ur going to have sunshine babies!!!!!! With sunshine beams!!!!!!!!!!!!!! & ur going to power five villages for years!!!!!" 

And so toasts are made and months go by and more plans are made and 

Bin: "Oh my god rocky" 

Rocky: "What" 

Bin: "We’re the best men”

Rocky: “Well I know we’re the best men, Jinjin and MJ asked us like three months ago" 

Bin: "No but we’re the BEST MEN" 

Bin: "We gotta get TUXES”

Rocky: “Oh”

Rocky: “Oh shit" 

Rocky: "oh S h I t" 

Bc wow truly have you seen the boys in tuxes for that AAF photo shoot truly A+ the A in Astro stands for Amazing-visuals 

But the S in Astro also stands for Styled-by-professionals 

Rocky and Bin

Are not professionals 

Fast forward to two weeks before the wedding: Rocky and Bin finding themselves in a tux store, frantically begging the tuxedo gods (ie, the store managers) for suggestions 

And so the magic workers toss them a couple of different cuts to try out to see what fit them the most 

And naturally Rocko picks the first one he gets because 1) he really cannot be bothered to try more than one he would totally go to Jinjin’s wedding in a hoodie and jeans if he had the choice 2) they all honestly look the same to him 3) I mean he’s rocky he looks amazing in everything 

So he lets the tailor take his measurements and flops over on the fitting area sofa to wait for Bin 

Who has gone through at least three different cuts of pants and four different blazer designs 

He’s honestly crying why doesn’t he look good in any of them

He looks good in all of them, Rocky doesn’t understand what he’s saying 

(Flings open the fitting room curtain to pose in front of the mirror for Rocky) 

"This one makes my butt look flat" 

"Bin your ass looks flat in everything" 

"That’s unTRUE PARK MINHYUK TAKE THAT B A C K" 

Rocky cackling and throwing another pair of pants at Bin 

On Bin’s fifth pair of pants and eighth blazer though, Rocky gets bored 

And he smells 

? Food?? 

He leans as far back as he can on the sofa and cranes his neck to peer out the fitting area door 

Food????? :–) 

Yes that’s more Rocky’s style 

He peers back at Bin’s closed fitting room curtain and silently gets up from the sofa 

He’ll be back real quick, he promises Bin in his head 

And nips off outside to see whatever it is that smells so amazing right outside the store 

Oh my god

It’s a pretzel food cart bless uP

Walks past two arguing brothers (?) 

"Hyung, I sat through that damn minion movie the least you could do is sit through this one fitting with me" 

"But you’re so,,,, oddly shAped they’ll take forever to take your measurements and I’m hUngry" 

"MINIONS" 

Eunwoo grumbling and shoving Sanha’s shoulder 

Damn Sanha for getting into the final round of that competition 

I mean, Eunwoo’s proud of him but 

Who even wears a blazer to a guitar competition anyway 

That’s dumb, Eunwoo decides, plopping his butt down on the fitting area sofa while Sanha goes off with the store managers

Wait

There’s someone mumbling from a fitting room

Huh talking to himself, Eunwoo guesses and goes back to tapping aimlessly on his phone 

Bin: "Rocky oh my god i think this is it" 

Bin: "My ass actually looks good??" 

Ass? 

Eunwoo looks up 

Bin: "And this blazer fits my shoulders so well?????" 

Bin: "wow Pacific Ocean coming through wew nice shoulders Binnie”

Bin:

Bin: 

Bin: "Rocky?" 

Bin, ripping open the fitting room curtain: "Yo dude how do I look" 

Eunwoo, sort of stunned because wow this guy’s right his ass does look good in those pants 

Huh nice shoulders too

:–)

Well, he doesn’t know who this Rocky guy is but 

“You look like you could win a pageant,” he offers cautiously 

Bin whips around

That in no way resembles Rocky’s voice

Rocky’s voice is a little like snow, powdery and soft and rough all at the same time 

But this man 

His voice (pardon the lack of poetics) sounds like someone gently hit icicles with other icicles and the result was a light, tinkly icy echo 

“And the thing about your ass?” the man continues, “Very true.”

Bin flushing because 

what 

the 

ding diggi ding diggi ding ding dong

is this man saying !!!

also wow 

if Bin thought Eunwoo’s voice was beautiful

he truly set himself up for a surprise 

the man himself 

literally the most ethereal being he’ll ever have the fortune to meet

excepting the fact that Eunwoo walked into a tuxedo shop in a minion t-shirt 

Bin isn’t sure at this point if Eunwoo’s aware he’s staring very hard at Eunwoo’s beautiful face

Eunwoo truly enjoyed the ass and shoulders but wow the minute Bin whipped around

startled cat eyes and slightly worried pout and mussed up hair from changing 

wow 

truly 

wow 

Rocky: “Hey Bin, I’m bac-”

Sanha: “Eunwoo, what do you think abo-”

Rocky blinking in confusion because wow Bin isn’t angry that Rocky went missing??

Sanha blinking in confusion because Eunwoo isn’t whining about waiting??????

wait 

Rocky and Sanha squint at their friends 

who are staring at each other 

because wow truly Bin has never seen someone with a face that small or with eyes that bright or a smile so amused 

Eunwoo finally breaking the eye contact and coughing slightly and going, “well i really think you should get that pair of pants”

“uh rigHT YES PANTS”

“i mean if you ever want a second opinion on clothes or whatever you should uhhh definitely uh call me ??”

Bin:

Bin:

Bin: :–)

Sanha, squawking slightly because wow Eunwoo complains so much about shopping with him but would willingly go on shopping trips with a stranger he just met??????? would give second opinions on clothes????? would hand him his phone so that he can input his phone number into Eunwoo’s contact list????????

Rocky sighing in relief because holy heck Eunwoo can suffer shopping with Bin then 

ie, Bin looking at two hoodies in different shades of black and humming over them for half an hour before deciding on a white one

i’m highkey bin

I HOPE YOU CONTACT HIM WEDDING ANON LMK HOW IT TURNS OUT I’M SCREAMING I LOVE 

[movietvtechgeeks]

Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/supernatural-fandom-gets-mirror-held-cyberbullying/

'Supernatural' fandom gets a mirror held up to the cyberbullying

Sadly, it seems that within many groups there will be a small contingent that likes to take its anger and frustration out on others, and many fans of the show "Supernatural" have felt this type of onslaught. It normally starts with a simple tweet, but then it quickly spirals out of control as the people getting attacked will defend themselves and wind up being called the bully. Yes, it sounds insane to the average person, but this is what happens as the bully pulls in their contingent of supporters to attack one person into submission. While it's a minority within a large group, it's a minority that has honed their skills so their voices are heard in the cacophony they create on social media making it look like an uprising. We've had this happen to us three different times even once having another website try to call us 'racist,' and anyone who reads our opinion pieces would realize what a load of bunk that it. In the past year this bullying of others, not to mention some of the actors and guest stars on "Supernatural" has taken a much uglier turn with tweets being taken out of context in an attempt to smear someone mainly because they hold different beliefs or someone just doesn't like their politics. There's plenty of other reasons, but many of these reasons just feel completely overblown, and in a different time would have been met with just a groan or roll of the eyes. Now, every slight is met with an army of frustrated minions who refuse to let things just roll off their back. The people doing this don't consider themselves bullies but as the victims and immediately go crying to their contingent when someone stands their ground with them. We're taught that when someone bullies us, we can defend ourselves, but this new kind of bully will continue battering away until they get the person to blow up on Twitter in frustration. Then this bully will say how out of control that person is feeling they have finally proven whatever point they were trying to make. It seems that there are much more beneficial ways to spend your life, but for some people, this is their life. One of our writers forwarded a very insightful post from Tumblr that truly hits things on the head with what has been happening within the "Supernatural" fandom minority. Having spoken to so many within the #SPNFamily, I've been told countless times how much they hate how this small contingent has created such a divide, but they also don't want to say anything as they know they will be next on this hitlist just for voicing a differing opinion. So, sometimes it takes someone to hold up a really big mirror to the people causing the problem to help unite people again and move forward. While it might be strong in its wording, I dare anyone to say that this person is wrong on how things have gotten so out of control. Our Carol Hansson touched on this regarding the recent slam on Jared Padalecki for a bad joke, but the one below really hits everything home. I thank Surflove808 for standing up and making the following statement and allowing us to reprint it here:

Do you think this cast is problematic and insensitive?  Gather around the fire with me, you delicate tulips.  Let me tell you a story.

There will be potty language.  And there will be no straddling the fence to appease both sides.  So, read at your own risk.  But, absolutely always feel free to respond and engage in discussion! When I got into this show, I fell down the rabbit hole like everyone else, and watched con footage and interviews and became more invested than I ever have in a show because of all the (perceived) incredible positivity and kindness reflected from the cast to the SPN Family and vice versa.  I had never seen anything like it.  And I was so impressed with this fandom and proud to be a part of it that I do something I rarely do - I gushed about it to friends.  Even though I knew they’d give me shit.  Because we think we’re too cool for school or something.  I don’t know. My love for this show and fandom eventually led me to Tumblr and the actors Twitter feeds.  I went full fangirl.  I thought, “Yay!  Other people who enjoy this amazing show.  Gifs!  Funnies!  Fanfics!  Art!  Support!"  And there is that, undoubtedly….but there is also this seedy underbelly that gets far more attention that it merits.  And I have become so disillusioned and angered by the shit I see here on the regular, not to mention Twitter…. that I feel like I need to disengage from following both (SPN-wise), so I don’t burst a fucking capillary. Before I do that…. to the handful of "fans” that have caused a Twitter uproar and instigated shortsighted and nasty smear campaigns regarding:

 Jareds inappropriate joke

 Mark Pellegrino and William Shatner defending Jared over some other Twitter bullshit.  They didn’t cause the initial offense, they merely defended their buddy against all the flamers….which, apparently is not allowed for these specific individuals.  They’re so evil.  How dare they have a human response to seeing their friend get charbroiled online.  It’s like they think they’re real people….

 Jensen supporting his FRIEND JDM when he was harassed and lambasted on Twitter and Instagram for wearing a Blue Lives Matter t-shirt.  *Also, see #2*

 Jensens retweet of Pellegrinos very nice message welcoming India to the SPN Family (flooding Jensens feed with demands that he not support his castmate and friend because Mark stood up to them or because they don’t agree with Marks ideology.  Way to take something positive and turn it ugly, BTW.  Sorry, India.  Truly.  I’m secondhand cringing over here.)  *Also, see #2*

 *See previous rants on this page*

Can you please fuck off already?   I hear Antarctica is nice this time of year, and that knitting is a great way to take your mind off things and meditate.  I might follow my own advice, in fact.  But stay the hell away from my yurt.  I am stabby when it comes to you people. There are always going to be people who feel compelled to stir up a lot of shit over anything these guys say and do, and they generally also apply that rule to most things in life, I’m guessing.  And I know opinions are like assholes (everyone’s got one), but really, there seem to be a handful of folks that LIVE for the drama around here. Get a grip.  Be useful.  Because what you seem to enjoy doing - Tearing down public figures in order to promote your own agenda, and making threats and accusations and spreading them like cancer?  It’s not productive. It’s toxic. With regards to THE JOKE: I don’t want to tell the joke.  TELL IT!  No, my jokes are all inappropriate.  TELL it!  Nah… TELL IT ANYWAY, WE DON’T CARE!  *Tells joke*  *Sees personal integrity torpedoed and potentially damaged career/legacy due to an influx of online articles based on a handful of tweets by reactionary “fans” who probably weren’t even there*  Nice set-up, people. Neither one of these guys is or has ever been anything but gracious to fans, not to mention caring and supportive.  That’s why fans from all over the world come to see them and share their personal stories of hardship with this cast.  And they are certainly not proponents of rape culture. These conventions are for adults, by adults.  And if you bothered to even watch a sampling of con footage of these guys, your delicate sensibilities would probably be overwhelmed by the sexually charged and deeply inappropriate things that get said BY some fans TO these guys.  But here’s the thing, these actors take it in stride and treat their fans like friends.  And these cons are very intimate and personal, open and extremely funny.  Is content inappropriate sometimes?  Yes, thank Chuck. THAT’S USUALLY WHAT MAKES IT FUNNY. Have you ever watched a comedy routine?  How do you handle dark humor?  Can you?  If you can’t?  Don’t watch.  Don’t play Cards Against Humanity either.  In fact….turn the internet off and spend time around real people.  Build up some tolerance.  Take your newfound tolerance to a domestic violence shelter and volunteer your time.  Immerse yourself in a new culture.  Read a few books.  Educate yourself a bit and grow wiser.  Pick your battles and fight for what’s right.  Not for what you “think” is right for Twit hits. And you know what?  If you’re the type of person who is going to go on a witch hunt that results in these guys having to share the same platform with guys like Weinstein and Spacey, with potentially irreversible damage done to their professional and personal lives over something like THIS? Congratulations.  You’ve become the thought police.  You’re demonizing people who have done a tremendous amount of good in the world around them via campaigns that stem from a desire to reach out to their fandom and support of people in crisis, particularly women, over a lame joke that Jared and especially Jensen, didn’t feel was appropriate to share in the first place.  These are genuinely kind and decent men, maybe do some more background research and check your motivation before you irrevocably damage someones well-being and livelihood. And because I don’t know any of your names or whereabouts, I can’t actually fuck up your life, can I?  And even if I could?  Why on earth would I??  Anonymity’s great, though….isn’t it?  We can go online and sit on our own virtual Mount Olympus, raining down accusations, judgments and sentences with minimal effort, foresight or concern for the ramifications of our actions. And Jared is a prime example of that sometimes.  I’m sorry to say, because he is a good dude, but he’s guilty of some of the same flamebroiling of people that you excuse yourselves from in the name of self righteousness.  The difference is - you can hide behind your anonymity.  He can’t.  And I’m down with calling people on their bullshit behavior (clearly), and Jared has had it coming a few times, but THIS?  This is ridiculous. Since you seem to be fond of extreme responses, I could make the comparison that encouraging, no….demanding that someone do something that they don’t want to do, and then shaming them for it when they do what you’ve asked? That’s REAL textbook abuse. Chew on that for a minute. Congrats again, because when you search either of their names, that’s the FIRST thing that comes up.  "Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles made a rape joke".  The joke in and of itself doesn’t and shouldn’t negate all the good they’ve put out in the world, but in the eyes of the general public outside the fandom?  NOW it does.  THAT’S what people now see. It’s amazing how a 7 word joke can lead to online character assassination that tears down over a decade of good works.  And I wouldn’t blame them one bit for shutting down future cons and/or reducing their conversation with fans to subject matter that strictly pertains to the show. And if you have stated any iteration of “I will no longer be a fan or watch this show because of these horrible meanies”… GOOD.  FUCKING.  RIDDANCE. It would make the SPN Family a much better place to be if ya’ll and your other easily offended brethren who can dish it out, but can’t take it, would fuck off to parts unknown to fixate on something else and leave us in peace. While this may offend some, I do feel many others will celebrate and revel in its reminding us that we do live in a country where we can voice our opinion whether or not everyone agrees with it. We never learn by surrounding ourselves with only like-minded people. It's the people with differing opinions and ideologies that can teach us to grow and become better informed individuals.

Movie TV Tech Geeks News

[evolutionsvoid]

Before becoming what he is now, Englorious Shaid was once a human sorcerer. While some may use some magical prowess for good, Englorious only cared to use his talents to further his own goals. He desired more and more power, and did so through magical experimentation and the collection of ancient magical artifacts. Those who were unfortunate enough to live near the accursed tower he called home knew well that their land and homes were his testing grounds. Whatever artifact or tool he got his hands on were tried out on the locals, with no regard of their safety or lives. Eventually, his cruel antics caught the attention of a band of heroes, who sought to purge this evil. The team attacked his home and defeated his various minions, all building up to the final battle. The clash that ensued was one worthy of legend, as the sorcerer threw all his power at the knights. Seeing that swords and blades could not fell such a powerful foe, the heroes took one of his ancient tools and turned it against him. The spell tore Englorious' soul from his body and fused it into one of his crystal balls. An empty husk, his once proud body crumbled to dust, and the sorcerer was vanquished. The heroes took the imprisoned sorcerer and presented it to the king as a trophy of their conquest. For many weeks, the soul of Englorious was locked away in the guarded halls, screaming from his crystal prison. For some time, they guarded his sealed soul, but as the weeks rolled on, security got lax. With no proof that Englorious could use his powers in his current state, they believed that he was no longer threat. When the orb was left unguarded, Englorious' minion, Kree-Tal, crept in and rescued his master. 

The trapped soul was spirited back to his destroyed tower, with pursuers no doubt following behind. Using old safeguards placed within his home, Kree-Tal was able to activate the pre-placed runes and teleport the entire tower to a hidden location. The massive spell succeeded in relocating them to unknown territory, but it also caused even more damage to his base. Regardless of his home's condition, Englorious worked with Kree-Tal in finding a way to release his soul. After many attempts and failures, the best they were able to do was crack the orb and free Englorious' magical abilities. With his power, he was able to create a false form to move about with, but his soul remained locked away in the orb. With no real solution in sight, Englorious was content with this temporary solution and looked to rebuilding his home and strength. As he fixed up his tower and curated his surviving artifacts, he believed that this new form would work so much better for him then a measly fleshy body. At first he welcomed this new shadowy form, seeing the potential it had. As time wore on, though, Englorious began to miss the simple pleasures of having a body. Eating, drinking and sleeping was something he longed to do once again. With that, Englorious has now brought his focus upon finding himself a new body, and a spell that would allow him to move his soul into it.   

Attitude - Englorious is a patient and methodical person, trained in these ways by his years of using magic. Anything he does calls for planning and tactics, a practice that he can spend hours on. Anytime he looks to launch a mission or seek out a magical artifact, every little thing needs to be researched and looked into. He prefers to do things in a slow and elegant manner, with no rushing or blind flailing. Everything must be organized and put in its proper place, which can be seen with his vast collection of magical artifacts. His archives is meticulously sorted, labelled and stored, to the point where he loathes using any of them in fear of damaging them or screwing up his system. Educated in the ways of magic and other talents, Englorious enjoys studying and reading the many tomes that his library contains. Some say that his desire for planning and research is just an excuse for him to read through more books and scrolls. As an educated man (as he likes to call himself), he looks down on the brute force of physical combat and the blindly aggressive ways of warriors. To him, the use of swords and shields is one peg up from smacking one another with sticks. Those who do not care for reading, studying or any kind of planning are instantly seen as dumb in his eyes. Such love for elegance and finesse is the driving reason he wants a body again. When he was human, he enjoyed good food and wine, which is something he can no longer have. His shadowy form is incapable of taste, smell and touch, which has begun to drive him mad. Though his new form offers many other benefits, he yearns to be able to drink his favorite wine once again, while enjoying a good tome next to a warm fire. This desire has grown so much that Englorious has his servant, Kree-Tal, cook fake meals for him to eat. At the designated times that one eats, Englorious sits himself at his banquet table to "enjoy" the food that Kree-Tal prepares for him. Though he cannot eat, drink or even smell, he acts like he can, often commenting that the food "smells delicious" or that the use of spices is "exquisite." Outside of this fantasy of his, the food and drink just ends up landing on the floor, which Kree-Tal then cleans up after the meal. Englorious knows that this seems ridiculous to others, but he goes through this ritual just to keep himself sane. It is just another reason why he needs to find a new body and the correct spell that will let him claim it. He can spend countless days researching and looking into the perfect form for him to inhabit, and his top picks will frequently change as he weighs the pros and cons. When in pursuit of a physical body, even Englorious can stray away from his well laid plans, as his desires get the best of him and he rushes to claim his prize. This usually ends in defeat for him, which only strengthens his belief that meticulous planning is a must for everything.   Relations - When a human, Englorious never worked with any one else. Seeing himself as superior to all others, and having a vast array of spells at his fingertips, he never saw the point of working together. Now that he has been knocked down a couple pegs and is working to regain his former glory, Englorious has turned to outside sources of help. His main source of aid (and grief) is King Olaf the Seventh. Englorious only knew of Olaf because the teleportation of his tower landed him near the mountain range that Olaf rules. Englorious met with the power-hungry king and was immediately turned off from the immature ruler. He saw Olaf as foolish, egotistical and just plain stupid. The king's plans and goals were absolutely ludicrous and shoddily put together. Englorious saw no need for the king and looked to never speak to him again. It was only with Kree-Tal's prodding that he agreed to meet once again with Olaf and discuss a partnership. While Englorious had magic and knowledge, he lacked resources and manpower, which Olaf had in droves. This partnership was further solidified when Olaf revealed that he possessed an ancient, indecipherable tome known as The Stitched Manuscript. This book of primordial knowledge was passed down by his ancestor, but the ability to read it was not. Englorious took interest with it, as he believed it could contain the spell that would at last give him a new body. So with that, the two formed a partnership. To this day, their deal still holds, but it has been very rocky since day one. Englorious' first impression of King Olaf has not changed at all, as the bumbling ruler is still a pride-driven fool. Olaf constantly demands results and rarely follows plans, which infuriates Englorious. This irritation is only increased when Olaf tries to steal magical artifacts from Shaid's archives, and complains that he never lets him use them. Even when Englorious is given access to The Stitched Manuscript he is still bothered by Olaf. The king is extremely protective of the book and requires dozens of Tin Soldiers watching over Englorious at all times. Englorious despises the controlled environment that Olaf forces on him when he is trying to decipher the tome, and finds it very difficult to get any work done. To top it all off, they always end up arguing with each other when things fall apart, blaming one another and refusing to take responsibility. At times it is a wonder on why they even work together.

Outside of Olaf, Englorious has had run ins with various other characters. While working with Olaf, he has met Marianess, a shade from the Underworld who also helps the king out from time to time. Englorious dislikes her as well, as he finds her brutish, blunt ways offensive and simple minded. In turn Marianess sees him as a know-it-all snob. The only time the two can agree with each other is when it comes to complaining about Olaf or making fun of him. They can at least bond over that. He has met Baalastor during his time with Marianess, as the shade loves to drag the ancient demon around with her. Out of the whole lot, he is the only one that Englorious is fine with being around. Baalastor acts much more professionally than the others and takes time in his actions. The only thing Englorious dislikes about him is his lack of motivation and the fact he doesn't really seem to care about whatever they are doing. Another run-in has been with Ver'Rahl the necromancer, but these meetings have been brief and not very professional. The two have just seen each other on the battlefield, when their forces seek to destroy the Knights of the Wrong Table. Englorious despises the idea of even talking with Ver'Rahl, mainly because he is a necromancer. Englorious always says that necromancers are the drama queens of the magic world, never shutting up about life, death and other stupidly "dark" things. Even away from that, Ver'Rahl is a pretty vile person to begin with, so Englorious sees no point in working with him.     Subordinates - The one being that he has working for him is Kree-Tal, a sentient crystal ball that has been passed down through his family. Kree-Tal does the work of a butler, taking care of the tower and maintaining the vast collections. Though Kree-Tal does the cleaning, organizing and cooking, Englorious does not look down on him. Rather he treats him like an equal, asking him for advice and running ideas past him. He sees Kree-Tal as an important source of information, as he has served under his ancestors for many years. The two work well together, and Englorious would never think of mistreating his servant. In the rare case where Kree-Tal objects with an order or task, Englorious will actually respect him and think it over. Abilities - To list Englorious' abilities would be a near impossible task, as he has many spells at his disposal. As a well-trained sorcerer, he can unleash a devastating amount of elemental spells, as well as weave illusions and other magical tricks. When in simple combat, he is content with hurling missiles of ice, fire and lightening at foes. It is during tricky situations when he uses more complex spells. His shadowy form aids these abilities for him, as it is impervious to all physical damage. His shadow body can become intangible at any time he wishes, so blades and arrows will simply pass right through him. This helps when he is unleashing explosive spells, as he doesn't have to worry about damaging his shadow limbs. He is also capable of creating more than two arms at a time, so that he can hurl multiple spells. When enraged or need of a quick retreat, he can produce dozens of shadowy arms and barrel through the battlefield at blinding speeds. The other benefit his shadow body has is the lack of flesh. Since he does not have mortal flesh and muscle, he does not have to worry about mana poisoning or Mancer Syndrome. There is no physical body for him to taint, so he can use a variety of powerful spells without worry. This gives him a heads up above other mages and sorcerers who must manage their mana use in fear of poisoning their natural mana.   Tools - Due to his vast collection of magical artifacts, and the fact he is always looking for more, Englorious has a wide array of tools at his disposal. The problem is that he values them more as antiques and collections, then as weapons for war. From time to time he will pull one out for use, but often he is very hesitant and worried about damaging them. He also possess tomes and scrolls that he can use to craft spells and other abilities. When on a mission, he will handpick ones that will work best for his goals and bring them along. Outside of the realm of magic is his spider legged pedestal. This is run by the mana that courses through his orb, which allows him to move about on his own. This set of legs is not used as a weapon by any means, and is just used for locomotion.     Weaknesses - His biggest weakness is the orb body that his soul is trapped in. Despite his large, shadowy form, his true body is held inside the spider-legged construct. Attacks and blows on this small body will disrupt his shadow form and whatever spells he was casting. With it being small, it can easily be launched or thrown, which will drag his shadow form with it. If the orb is shattered, it will splinter his soul into fragments, effectively killing him, unless it is fused back together quick enough. Another problem is his reliance on magic, seeing it as the one and only tool. With mana and magic on his side, he can be a devastating opponent, but if he is cut off from his source or drained, he can do little else. His desire for a body to inhabit can cause him some problems, as it forces him to make plans that involve capturing opponents alive. This just adds more difficulty to his efforts and more things he has to take care of. It also can force him to make rash choices, as he is desperate for a new body so that he can eat and drink once more.   ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Englorius Shaid, a character whose name I should probably change to something less stupid, but I kind of like it too much.

[shadowofimpendingdoom]

OK LIKE HELL AM I GONNA LEAVE THAT BE here are some new and improved Avery lines

@pasteldot this is your fault

Select:

“Lemme at ‘em!”

Pre-round introduction:

“Time to paint the town red!” “It’s very knife to meetcha!” “Youse ain’t gonna like any of what’s comin’ to ya.”

Samson: “I’ll teach ya a thing or two 'bout backstabbin!” A: “Chief, you don’t know what you’re doin’!” S: “Could say the same for you.”

Vice: “Don’t even try ta stop me!” “You can do better than this and you know it!”

Avery: “Hey!! Who do you think you are!?” “Lookin’ good. Now get bent.”

Krieg: “Wanna play Cat & Mouse!? ...Or would it be Goat and Bird...?” “You’ll never take me alive!” K: “I usually refrain from harming minors, but...” A: “If that ain’t the biggest load a’ bull I’ve heard today!”

Hungern: “And just when I thought we was gettin’ along.” “All you cops are the same, after all.”

Lev: “*nervously* I don’t know 'im!” (referring to Samson) A: “Just how many people has Sam pissed off?” L: “Every being he’s ever met.”

L: “You are not safe with him, little one.” A: “And you’re supposed to be any better?”

Sagan: “Start autographin’, pretty boy!” A: “Sure would be a shame for showbiz if yer face got messed up.” S: “Hey, I heard scars are all the rage these days.”

S: “I’ve killed more Skullgirls than you count, newbie.” A: “Should be a good time for retirement, then, yeah?”

A: “What up, doc?” S: “That’s my line!”

LG: “No hard feelings!” “Show me what’cha got, Red!”

Sekhmet: “Seriously, how many people did Sam piss off!?” “Nuttin’ but a dry well here, sister! Breeze off!”

Tara/Bee: “You don’t tell me what ta do!” “Outta my way!”

Buer/Gae: “Let’s see if all dat stuff they pumped into ya was worth squat.” “Guess Needles needed friends as creepy as her.”

Andy: “Step down, Andy! This is professional work!” “Go back ta your shows. I got this!”

Robo LG/Shamone: “What in the bull hickey?" “Guess this is happenin’ today.”

Skullheart: “Ain’t no runnin’ away now!" “Let ‘er go, skullbag!”

Combat:

“Real funny...” (Recover)

“You’ll pay for that!” (Recover)

“Oh, boohoo!” (Enemy recover)

“Drop dead already!” (Enemy Recover)

“Ya seem to be on edge.” (Enemy Recover)

“Stick around!” (Grab)

“What’s the rush?” (Grab)

“Wingin’ it!” (Grab escape)

“Open wide, blubber-mouth!” (Blockbuster)

“Dammit!” (Failed blockbuster)

“No, no, NO!” (Failed blockbuster)

“Uh oh.” (Failed blockbuster)

“Hey, git back 'ere!” (Failed grab)

“YOU WANT SOME!?” (Infinite Break)

“GET LOST!” (Infinite Break)

Switching/Tagging:

“Toucan play this game!” (Switch in)

“Save some for me!” (Switch in)

“Make way~!” (Switch in)

“Hate to cut and run.” (Switch out)

“All yours!” (Switch out)

“I’ll be back!” (Switch out)

“What’s-yer-face!” (Switch out)

Samson: “Chief!/Hair for brains!/Boozehound!/Rip ‘em open!”

Vice: “Minion!/Lackey!/Torpedo!/Break a leg or two!/Bruno!"

Avery: “Good-lookin’!/Yours truly!/Hot stuff, comin’ through!”

Krieg: “Fuzz!/Bad cop!/Soulja boy!/Officer~/Buttons!/Ten-hut!” A: “I won’t go to jail for this, right?” K: “Today.”

Hungern: “Fuzz!/Good cop!/Eyeball!/Pleasure workin with ya!”

Lev: “Wisehead!/Grandpa!/Stiff!/BBQ, anybody?”

Sagan: “Pretty boy!/Done powderin’ yer nose?”/ S: “This doesn’t mean we’re friends.” A: “Thank Venus.” / A: “This is a one-time thing!” S: “Please word that better.“

LG:  “Red!/Algae!/Kiddo!/Newbie!/Short stuff!/Show ‘em what for!”

Sekhmet: “Canary!/Chippy!/Dish!/Dame!”

Tara: “Jane!/Give ‘em hell, sister!/Give ‘em a shock!/Make yerself useful.”

Bee: “Bee’s knees!/Buzz!/Stingy, are we?/Feelin’ swell?”

Buer/Gae: “Droppers!/Palooka!/Tear ‘em to pieces!/Lessee what’cha got!”

Andy: “Kiddo!/C’mere, brat!/Make yerself useful.”

Robo LG/Shamone: “Uhhh./Sure, I guess?/Sams--! Wait.”

Skullheart: “No funny business!/I’m watchin’ you./McGuffin!

Win:

”Good knife and sweet dreams!” “Ya don’t seem t'be in a stable condition.” ’*Woody Woodpecker laugh*’ “That’s all, folks!” “I hope Boss hears o’ dis!”

Samson: “That’s what’cha get!” “You had it comin’.”

Vice: “I told ya--I’m the sharpest!” “Join me already!” “Typical slice-of-life drama.”

Avery: “That’s... uncomfortable to look at.” “There can be only one! The best lookin’ one!”

Krieg: “Yer job’s a heavy birden.” “No egrets!”

Hungern: “Well, yer better than yer brotha.” “Should’a stuck to babysitting.”

Lev: “I’ll pick my own friends, thanks.” “Chief’s got weird taste.”

Sagan: “*sarcastically* Poor rich kid.” “Sign ‘ere. Make it out to Peacock!” “Quit rufflin’ yer feathers!”

LG: “You’ve still got a way to go, twerp.” “What’s your deal?”

Sekhmet: “I’m tired of yer cuttin’ remarks.” “Go exit stage left, broad.”

Tara: “Try all ya want, you’ll never be my level!” “*mockingly* Does Tarry need new batteries?”

Bee: “Look’s like I’m the bee’s knees, after all!” “All swagger, no substance.”

Buer/Gae: “The heck’s Lab 0 up to?” “Braindead’s got nothin’ on me!”

Andy: “As usual, I gotta do all the work.” “Leave this to the professionals, kiddo.”

Robo LG/Shamone: “And I thought Buer was creepy.” “O-kay! Never again!”

Skullheart: “Rest easy, doll.” “I did it... I did it...!”

Lose:

“’M sorry, Boss...” “No fair...!” “I... can’t lose...” “You’re so... dull...” “*dreamily* Candy canes...”

Samson: “Filthy traitor...!” “You won’t get away with this...!” “Double-crossin’ sonnuva...”

Vice: “Don’t... trust them.” “But I’m the brains...!”

Avery: “That’s just uncalled for...” “Load a’ baloney!”

Krieg: “Child abuse not in yer book!?“

Hungern: “So much for that...” “Like big bro, like lil’ bro.”

Lev: “You’ve got issues...” “Still not... convinced.”

Sagan: “I hate you so much...” “So those weren’t special effects...”

LG: “No fair...!” “What's with you!?”

Sekhmet: “No... don’t....!” “Don’t hurt them...!”

Tara: “Anyone but... you...” “But I’m the better one...!”

Bee: “Laugh it up...” “Can’t believe this...”

Buer/Gae: “I can’t lose to... you...” “Wrong on so many levels...!”

Andy: “No... seriously...!?” “Dunno if I’m angry or proud...”

Robo LG/Shamone: “I feel... irrelivant.”

Skullheart: “Patty...!” “I can... still...”

Draw:

“Well I could’a done that.” “That was on purpose!” “I’ll get you, gadget...!”

[eorzeaisnotcrash]

(ARR Diary #11) OH NO IT’S CUTE (also cheese)

I get to go with Y’shtola for this mission! When we arrive at Robot Pirate Island, Merlwyb greets us and is reamed out by Y’shtola for encroaching on kobold territory, which is why they’re upset enough to have summoned Titan. “Even a pirate must one day reap what she has sown,” she says as she looks right into the camera. I send Mash a screenshot with the caption “Y’shtola sees you sinning.” The Admiral doesn’t exactly have a time machine to undo what she did, so Joceline heads for the Grey Fleet, the workplace of one man who helped stop Titan and Leviathan the last time.

This man does not want to help me. He keeps promising he will, but first there’s just one more small task JoJo needs to help him with first. And he’s probably drunk too much to give an accurate recounting of whatever strategy his team used, anyway. After a few rounds of JoJo doing his work for him, the boss walks up and wants to know what’s going on. The ingrate tries to discredit me and then cheat in a contest he insists on having, but I manage to prevail, and the truth is forced out. Nobody here has any experience with Titan; this tool has been exploiting stolen valor in order to get a job (which he is too drunk to actually do). An actual hero can be found over at Costa del Sol.

It’ll STILL be a while before JoJo can get any real help. Here it’s more “won’t” than “can’t” because Gegeruju has some kind of feast scheduled, and I need to go hunt for ingredients. Y’shtola is furious with Wheiskaet for sending me on a food run when people are about to get killed, but RPGs gonna RPG. JoJo jumps through a good number of hoops, which include stealing a giant turtle egg and fighting dragons for a reward of stinky cheese. I honestly don’t mind dealing with the dragons. The goblins they’re harassing seem like nice people who were minding their own business trying to make themselves a new home.

Then I have to deal with some bad-tempered wine snob and his blind associate. The latter is a wounded vet trying to live his last decades in a more peaceful way. I try to keep this in mind and not get too annoyed at him when he has me running around doing his share of the errands. I feel a little bit worse when he tells me to visit another amateur and the poor guy, who says he never even wanted to fight for the Empire, is clearly suffering from PTSD. The only thing I can do for him is take his homemade brew back to the man who helped him. This leads to something big, because a leaf was included that’s supposed to be from some kind of grape they thought was extinct. JoJo is sent to fight a goobbue and collect some fruit, and everyone at Wineport gets hype because they can sell plenty of bottles of the good stuff again. My reward is one bottle of booze.

I don’t really care about wine, other than the royalties I hope JoJo will get for helping rediscover the grapes, but when I finish this portion of the pre-Titan nonsense I realize the game has given me a new minion: a goobbue sproutling. I never thought about what goobbues might look like when they’re small, but

IT

IS

SO

FREAKING

CUTE.

Even the name manages to be cute! How did they do that? Sorry, Valeria, I’ve had plenty of fun walking around with you, but now I want to give my new friend a chance. Her (?) name is Miri, because of the Star Trek episode where the kid tells Captain Kirk she likes him, and Kirk smiles this wonderfully kind smile and says he likes her too. I hope the goobbue sproutling likes me, because I sure like her! Him? It? I’m not sure... I haven’t fought that many goobbues anyway, but like with the treants, I‘m only going after them when I have to from this point on. While I’m at it, maybe I’ll let the mandragoras alone too. I should back away from the cute fanart now.

I also need to return to Forgotten Springs. The nunh wants me to kill... something. Wait, this part of the story might take place before the wine shenanigans. Whatever, I’m just excited to have Miri! She runs around and looks at everything, like she’s exploring the world around her. She even climbs in people’s laps if they’re sitting down. I feel blessed.

Anyhow, when all that is finally over, Gegeruju comes running up and prostrates himself before JoJo. He had no idea the chick running all the errands was the same one trying to help everybody not die to Titan. Wheiskaet and the rest of the people who participated in the hazing assemble and reveal that they were on the team that defeated Titan and Leviathan the last time. They lost a LOT of comrades, and wanted to be sure that I was ready to handle something worse than Ifrit. I do like the part when they acknowledge that I can be hardworking and brave and compassionate (even though whatsisface with the moonshine would probably benefit more from talking to a professional. Maybe Camp Bronze Lake has some mental health services?) JoJo talks a little more with everyone before sitting down to eat and drink (that’s the least they could let her do), and apparently the food is so flipping good that for a moment she’s able to be at one with the universe and comprehend everything. If I don’t die horribly, I would like to eat at the Flying Shark again one day.

The kobolds have managed to put their own aetheryte together; Y’shtola, who is intelligent and skilled and awesome, has JoJo use it, and then it’s time to fight. I’m proud to say that I neither jump off the edge nor get stuck in one of the rocky prisons. I have a good party. Titan is vanquished, and the kobolds run away, warning that they‘ll hold a grudge for many years. It does worry me a bit. On the one hand, these guys feel like their home turf is threatened, but on the other hand, Merlwyb is doing what she must to help her citizens. Thank the Twelve I’m not the one who has to figure out politics.

Oh, what’s this? The Knight of the Slappable Face is spying on me again. His helmet is on today. Small mercies. Some big dude is with him, and he’s concerned about whatever science project is supposed to be in the works. Lahabread is here too. He says they’re fools. Then he looks around... Y’shtola was spying on THEM! Ha! How the turntables. They leave without confirming she’s there. She needs to check on something else, but she bids JoJo return to the Hall of Justice.

I’m totally going to Winterfell.

[clubofinfo]

Expert: In Joachim Fest’s fine biography of Adolf Hitler, aptly titled Hitler, we learn many things never before taught in our World History classes here. To delve into it now with the needed detail from this 700+ page masterpiece would be futile for me, the columnist. There is just so much to digest and comprehend about this Austrian of little education and no professional calling who became the Fuhrer. Yet, throughout the book one cannot help but realize just how much the movers and shakers of our Amerikan empire copied tactics and outright propaganda from the Hitler gang. The use of the term Fatherland to describe Germany rings so close to post 9/11 Amerika’s choice of Homeland as in Homeland Security. Ever since 9/11 and our subsequent invasions and occupations of Afghanistan and Iraq, each time there is a major sporting event they spread out the giant American flag and trot out the honor guard to sing our national anthem. The real connivance is how they always show us American GIs dressed in camouflage,  as if they just came from the battlefield. Check out the Nuremberg rallies and see the torchlight parades and honor guards with their brown or black shirts and swastikas throughout. This mania to salute soldiers who had no business being sent to the Middle East to invade, kill, be killed and occupy foreign lands is sadly congruent to what transpired with Germany’s attacks and occupations of most of Europe. Yet, throughout history this is exactly what empires have done. Why should ours be any different? Hitler was a masterful genius, who had the good fortune, after much manipulation and scheming, to become Chancellor at perhaps the eleventh hour. Fest explains in his book how the nationalist coalition (which the Nazis were part of) could have formed a legal blockade to thwart Hitler’s plans. Yet, the fear of many from Germany’s right wing and centrist political parties, and even some left of center ones like the Social Democrats (forerunner of today’s US Democratic party) believed, as Hitler himself stated: ” One year of Bolshevism would destroy her (Germany).” The interesting thing is how Hitler used phrases and ideals that many of our current right wing have (copied?) been using: “Christianity as the foundation of our national morality, and the family as the basis of racial and political life.” He promised to eliminate class struggle and to restore ‘traditions of honor’. Sound familiar? What really cracks me up, as a resident of Florida, is the slogan used by the ultra right wing cad, Governor Rick Scott, in his successful campaign for re-election:  “Let’s get to work”. Newly appointed Chancellor Adolf Hitler, soon after his ascension, travelled around Germany giving hundreds of “Let’s get to work” speeches to German labor.  Sadly, as with the Nazi party in the early 1930s, working stiffs here in Florida, many with not a ‘pot to piss in’, voted for this clown. Why are we, as a nation, in such a sinking ship? Well, the propaganda has been nearly as masterful as that of Goebbels and his crew. We are a nation, as the late Gore Vidal aptly labeled us, at Perpetual War. We spend over 50% of our federal tax revenues on the military. We invaded Iraq in 2003 so as to ‘fight them there so they don’t come here’. Remember that? Now it is ISIL or ISIS, who, like the original mujahedeen that became Bin Laden’s al Qaeda, Amerika financed and nurtured so as to fight one of our enemies. This writer has many acquaintances who consider themselves ‘right wing’. They sing that same song: “We’re fighting them there so they don’t come here”. Will it ever end? We have states so broke and overloaded with needs that they now want to become legal bookmakers on sports betting. Why do you think Colorado and Washington opened marijuana stores?  Because they are so progressive minded? Come on, it is to raise tax revenues. Of course, this writer would rather see that then legal bookmaking or the stupid lotteries, which attract mostly low income folks who could use that money for more important needs. So, we have a nation filled with our citizens working dead end jobs for lousy pay, living in corporate owned and operated rental housing. Of course, if they are lucky, they could find a home to rent from some predator who bought it on the cheap when it was foreclosed or sold underwater. Finally, here is how the movers and shakers of this Military Industrial Empire are even shrewder than the Nazi gang. What they did, successfully too, was create and maintain a ‘Two Party, One Party” system. They made sure that the two parties, as is the case in the UK, seem to be at each other’s throats… and they are on some issues. We know the Democrats will trumpet a woman’s right to choose, and gay rights, and even a more liberal immigration policy. Yet, when it comes to the meat and potato issues that the empire feeds off, like heavy military spending, bases worldwide, WMDs to the hilt, free reign for big banks, big oil, big Pharma and all BIG BUSINESS, there is little or no difference between the two parties. Look how both Mrs. Clinton and her Democratic Party minions agreed with President Trump over his recent Cruise Missile attack deep within Syria. Look how they all “drank the Kool-Aid” on blaming Assad and the Russians for that (so called?) chemical attack last week. Herr Goebbels would be so proud of that sort of propaganda as this empire eats away at our nation’s soul. If all those working stiffs out there do not finally “Get it” and see through the illusions and propaganda… “Sig Heil!!!” http://clubof.info/