#GODDAMMIT NYU

[stina-is-a-punk-rocker]

‘always and forever, lara jean’: a bungled mess of my thoughts while watching the movie

Alright, cards on the table: I never finished reading the book. I got bored a couple of pages in, so I just read up the summary on Wikipedia and called it a day.

Not gonna lie, I expected better from the movies. I loved the first movie; it was cute, it was fun, it hit all the right places. The second movie was… eh. Jordan Fisher is cute, so that’s a plus.

And then we got the third movie; the final in the To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before trilogy.

And it was somehow even worse.

Maybe I’m exaggerating. Despite its shortcomings in the plot and character development-related departments (the fact that Lara Jean wrote addresses for letters she never meant to send is something that will bother me on my deathbed), the movies have their merits. They’re cutesy and charming and enjoyable, overall; movie-LJ is sweet and unashamedly a girly-girl, which is a refreshing change from the #NotLikeOtherGirls, pick-me girls and bruh girls we had in loads of other YA movies growing up. Peter’s pretty cute, too; he’s not a possessive freak like so many other love interests (The Kissing Booth, After, Anna and the French Kiss), and his and Lara Jean’s dynamic is cute, too. Not to mention- we finally have an Asian lead whose Asian-ness isn’t the whole focus of the story!

Again, maybe I’m being extra with all this. The series is, at its core, solely for entertainment purposes. Not every piece of media has to have an underlying message and you shouldn’t need to read between every goddamn line to find something worthy of enjoying. They’re certainly helpful for whiling away a couple of hours; perfect for bingeing with a pint of ice cream in hand, and all of this is in good fun.

Also, it goes without saying, but: spoilers ahead.

The film beings with Lara Jean scribbling a postcard to Peter while she’s in Korea with her family. The inclusion of that little snapshot of Asian culture made me so happy- seriously, fuck everyone who says diversity in media doesn’t matter. I’m not even Korean, and I was overjoyed at seeing a couple of scenes just from the same continent I’m on. The K-pop music in the background was a fun touch, too (although all Korean music isn’t K-pop, but that’s a rant for another day).

(Also: Blackpink has so many more suitable songs than Pretty Savage that go with the theme of the movies. Kill This Love in the second movie while Lara Jean is getting ready to go to her boyfriend’s match is bad enough- they’re supposed to be in love in that scene, goddammit.)

One thing that bothered me throughout the movies is how obviously non-Korean Lara Jean and Margot look. It’s like whoever chose the cast went for any random Asian- Lana’s Vietnamese and Janel Parrish is half-Chinese, and it’s so obvious. You seriously couldn’t find two Korean-Americans who even vaguely resembled each other so they could pass for sisters? The actresses do a stunning job and I don’t want to shit on them, but I just wish they didn’t go with the ‘all Asians look the same, what’s the difference?’ mindset.

Also, a nitpicky thing I’ve noticed in movies with characters who read a lot: no one holds their books up while they’re reading. Your arms start to cramp, which is why you keep your book in your lap while you’re reading, or you rest on your belly and hold the book in front of you. My spine and shoulders didn’t suffer years of torture as a chronic reader for you to include characters who hold their books up while reading.

A major gripe I have with Always and Forever, Lara Jean is how the characters are almost jarringly out of character- not from the books, but from the two previous movies, too. Lara Jean didn’t have much of a character to begin with, so I can’t say much about her (she dissed Oasis at one point; it’s okay for me to be mean to her), but the rest of them are either caricatures of themselves or just totally different people.

Movie Peter >>> Book Peter. He’s almost too perfect (except for the fact that he unironically loves The Fast and the Furious, which… ew), almost too much of the ideal boyfriend. Not that my perpetually single arse would know. How do boyfriends even work? I wouldn’t know the first thing to do with one; how often should you feed it? Do you need to take it on walks?

(In the notes I’ve written towards the end of the film, I’ve complained about Peter being immature and making Lara Jean feel bad about following her dream to go to NYU. He confuses me.)

Not to mention how distractingly adorable Noah Centineo is from some angles and under certain lighting conditions (other times, he reminds me of the human version of Shrek and that bothered me). King of weird Tweets and Instagram captions though he may be, he’s got a really nice smile, and his gravelly voice is both parts sexy and disturbing.

But I digress.

I’ll never forgive the directors for what they did to Kitty and Chris- two of my favorite characters, from both the books and the movies. Kitty’s annoying to the point of being borderline unlikeable- gone is the occasionally snarky comic relief we all came to love; in her place is an annoying brat whose every line comes out forced. Also, making soap is fun; fuck you, Kitty.

Chris is essentially Dixie D’Amelio’s character from that TikToker Grey’s Anatomy ripoff; the main character in One Direction fanfiction from 2012 who doesn’t want to go to the concert but her best friend gets a ticket for her so she can’t bail but Harry Styles sees her in the crowd and falls in love at first sight and 50k of mutual pining and misunderstandings late, they get together. She’s cynical and snarky and hates capitalism and consumerism and prom (because of course she does), but secretly, she’s into it (because of course she is). My guess is that she’s there to appease all the arseholes (including myself) who accused the characters of being too one-dimensional, but it seems too out of place in a movie that doesn’t have much plot to begin with.

I really, really hate how Lucas was done dirty- throughout every single movie. Of course, it’s Lara Jean’s story so not every side character has to be fully fleshed out- but you’d think three. entire. movies. would be enough to give Lucas a bigger role than the GBF and the token black guy for the diversity brownie points. Every single time Lucas shows up, it’s to push Lara Jean and Peter’s story forward. I would’ve liked to see a romance for him pushed forward instead one for Chris- especially because he says, at one point in a previous movie, that it’s hard to find other gay boys, so it would’ve been sweet to see him find love- and Chris’s character arc could’ve been focused on reconciling with Genevieve. Instead, we see the OG Reggie from Riverdale be the one to show Chris the bright side of monogamy, and Lucas gets a date to prom as an afterthought (another darkskin black dude, so no one thinks the film is racist).

Genevieve’s character in this movie gives me whiplash. Look, I’m all for girls supporting girls- healthy female relationships are something way too many YA movies lack- but she goes from bitch queen extraordinaire to friendly the moment the next scene calls for it. Her character isn’t consistent. A redemption arc should be executed cleanly and believably; you can’t have a character be a total prick one moment and then suddenly be, “Hey, if you get into NYU, let me know,” the next.

And Genevieve’s still an arsehole to Chris; at one point, in NYC, while they’re at the NYU campus grounds (I knew that Lara Jean was going to go to NYU the moment she saw all the banners; I fucking called it), Genevieve tells Chris, “University is for people who actually have a future,” and I recoiled. I’m not the nicest of people and yet that was going too far. Chris doesn’t hesitate to shoot back a, “You peaked in high school,”, but still. Y i k e s. You can’t convince me someone’s turned over a new leaf when they say something like that.

Lara Jean’s dad (forgot his name; gonna call him Dr. Covey) is as unremarkable as ever, and his new wife (forgot her name, too… Trisha? Trina? Eh, something like that) is… unsettling. I mean, I get that they’re all loved up and twitterpatted, but there’s something about all the smiling they’ve got going on that chills me to the bone.

Also, Trisha/Trina kinda looks like TikTok’s ThatVeganTeacher and it bothers me.

Another huge problem with this movie even being made is that the series never had enough plot to continue onto a trilogy. Lara Jean’s letters are what the plots of the first and second movies revolve around; the third only mentions them in passing. The final love letter from Peter was a cute callback, but there’s a massive continuity issue with the first two movies and this last one- both character and plot-wise.

Maybe I’m not articulating this clearly enough, so I’ll use an example: take Harry Potter, for example. Harry’s main goal throughout the series is defeating Voldemort. And it takes all seven books for him to get there, to finally achieve this.

Lara Jean’s goal in the first movie changes midway; from keeping up the façade with Peter so she can avoid the crap with the rest of the letters getting out, to making her fake relationship real. It forms a bridge with the second movie; the letter that went out to John Ambrose, and her dithering between Peter and perfection (I’m not sorry). But what does the third movie have to do with any of this?

There were way too many music montages. You couldn’t go five minutes without a random pop song playing in the background, and it was annoying as hell. Don’t Look Back in Anger was w a s t e d on this stupid film. The artsy scenery shots were even worse- no, I don’t give a fuck about the New York skyline or a bird’s eye view of whatever vehicle Lara Jean is in. A few shots of Seoul would’ve sufficed; the rest was overkill. This movie is way too damn long already (almost 2 entire hours!!!); cut out a couple of those. No one cares.

I thought they’d pull the whole Aladdin trope with character-A-keeps-trying-to-tell-character-B-the-truth-about-a-lie-B-believes-in-about-A-but-B-keeps-interrupting, but Lara Jean (typing her name out is annoying, why couldn’t she have a single name, like both of her sisters?) comes clean earlier than I expected. Peter’s reaction about LJ not getting into Stanford is… uncharacteristically mature? No “Why did you lie to me?”, no accusations, not an ounce of betrayal. Which I did not expect from a guy who’s a little bitch for the greater part of book one (I really don’t like Book Peter, in case you couldn’t tell). I know fuck-all about book three’s Peter, so I can’t tell if he really did adopt this mature, well-adjusted persona, or the movie did it to make Peter seem like less of a dick (like they did it with the sextape-that-wasn’t-a-sextape in the first installment).

On a sidenote, how do these main characters in YA books get into really good colleges with zero to no visible effort? These arseholes fuck around for the entirety of the story and have way too much going on to actually do schoolwork, but they waltz into Ivy Leagues at the end. And apparently, I’m not the only one bothered by this.

There’s something to be said about how the movies don’t really sexualize minors (characters who are minors, to be fair. None of the MCs look anything like teenagers), though. It’s almost weird to see them not getting drunk and partying and having sex all the time. Maybe that’s why Lara Jean trying to get her hand on Peter’s dick felt so stilted and awkward (I cringed so hard when she kept trying to touch him and he kept pushing her hand away, holy shit).

And the kissing. It’s to be expected from a romance film, but there was so. Much. Kissing.

The amount of product placements (… actually, I could count only two: Apple and a pair of Beats headphones Lara Jean puts on at one point, but the movie shoved so many iPhones in my face that I’m obligated to exaggerate) would’ve made anti-capitalist Chris mad.

I’m guessing this all takes place in a parallel universe, sans the coronavirus. Still, being in quarantine this past year and being socially awkward for every other one, it was agonizing seeing everyone so close together in NYC. When Peter kissed the ball (lol) (I have the sense of humor of a straight boy in middle school, don’t judge me) when him and Lara Jean go bowling, I had a visceral reaction. And what are the odds of Peter meeting his estranged dad at the very same bowling alley?

Speaking of Peter’s daddy issues (I’ve written “Hardin but diluted” in my notes; I watched this movie at, like, 1 AM; I’m not entirely sure what was going through my head at that point)- I hated how they guilt-tripped Peter into giving his father another chance. In the wise words of Hannah Montana, everybody makes mistakes- but leaving your wife and two kids for another woman is pretty far from a little oopsie on Mr. Kavinsky’s part. I don’t blame Peter for hating him, and I’m not in a place to judge whether Mr. Kavinsky (does he get a first name?) should be forgiven or not, but I feel like they let him off too easy and made Peter seem like a misunderstood teenager with anger issues for not accepting Mr. Kavinsky’s (crappy) apology at once.

And it adds nothing to the story at all; Mr. Kavinsky peaces out after having one (01) coffee with his firstborn, and he’s never seen again. If you’re going to introduce a subplot, make it tie into the main storyline- the very least you could do is make it an important enough part of the story to have more than 10 minutes of the run time. It makes no sense as to why they’d bring up Peter’s dad in this last film, when he’s already gone through two perfectly fine. I guess it was a ‘tying everything up’ part… even though no one cared.

Lara Jean’s handwriting is surprisingly ugly for someone who’s written that many love letters. And her styling took a definite nosedive; her outfits in the first movie were so effing cute, but now they’re just… meh.

There are so many conversations and lines that the writers must’ve thought sounded good enough for someone to type out the quote in curly font and slap it on a screenshot from the movie to post on Instagram, but when it comes to the actual delivery, they just sounded… weird.

Peter says one time near the beginning of the film, “You know what I’m looking forward to the most in college? Never having to say goodnight,” because he expects him and Lara Jean to get into the same college.

But I guess the word they should’ve used was ‘good-bye’, because this just makes him sound stupid.

At one point, Lara Jean asks Kitty how much Kitty’s gonna miss her when she goes off to college, and Kitty says, “A four.” Later on, she confesses, “I’m gonna miss you a twelve, Lara Jean,” and all I could think was, “But we’re endgame, Archie!”

(In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t let people know I’ve watched Riverdale; it lessons my credibility.)

Still, there remains some good to be found: all the baked goods looked very delicious and made me crave chocolate chip cookies. Peter wearing the socks Lara Jean gifted him at the beginning of the movie was a cute gesture, and Lara Jean giving Peter her teal hatbox? The one she kept her love letters in? Was so? Cute? Help?

And hey, it’s a cliché that’s been done to death, but I’m always a sucker for that part in movies where the girl walks down the stairs in a pretty dress with her hand on the banister and the boy turns around and his mouth falls open and all he can say is, “Wow,”- and this film did not disappoint! Not to mention how cute both Lara Jean’s and Chris’s prom dresses were.

Dr. Covey and Trisha/Trina’s wedding was cute, too- I struggled to decide whether Kitty wearing a necklace that says ‘feminist’ and a tux is a bit too on-the-nose, but I’ve decided that it’s nothing to get my knickers all in a twist about (for clarification: it’s not the necklace or the crossdressing that made me debate this; I just wish they didn’t make a big deal out of it- I wish they didn’t have Kitty and Lara Jean get into an argument about her not wearing a dress, if that makes sense?).

And the final letter- the one from Peter to Lara Jean- I ate that shit up; it was so, so, so cute.

In conclusion (why is it so easy for me to crank out 3k about my thoughts on a Netflix movie and yet when it comes to English Lit. at school, I’d stare at a blank sheet of foolscap for ages?), did I enjoy the movie? Not really. There were parts of it that I liked, but it was overall too boring and I kept wishing I’d watched the new SKZ Code episode instead every few minutes.

But that doesn’t mean that it was bad. I kinda feel a little sad, actually, now that Lara Jean and Peter’s story has come to a close; To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, the first movie, is one of my favorites, and bitch though I might about them, the kinda grew on me… like an innocent plant, at first, but then like a fungus. Not a parasitic fungus, just not mutualistic, either… kind of like a commensal.

Maybe I should stop with the biology similes.

[blazardragon]

English Translation of Korotan B: Chapter 4

In this chapter, Pui meets Isogai’s family! Apparently, they have a traditional household sauce. I wonder what it’s made of? Other highlights include Terasaka, Itona, and Korosensei getting duped, Chiba, Hayami, and Nakamura discussing catchphrases, and Pui’s backstory finally getting revealed! 

Also, unlike last chapter, while boobs are mentioned, there’s no sexual harassment this time (phew!)

Chapter 4: An Assassination You Can Be Proud Of Time

“This is my house. Go ahead and come in!”

Isogai brought Pui to his house after school.

When Korosensei asked his students if there was anyone willing to provide a home-stay for Pui, Isogai was the first to raise his hand.

“Isogai-kun, you’re good at taking care of others, making you more than qualified for the job. Obtaining an understanding of each other will be a boon to your assassination attempts.”

Korosensei, too, indulged in Isogai’s offer.

When Isogai opened the door to the entrance, he found two primary school-aged children waiting for him.

“Welcome home, big brother!”

“Wewcome hoowme!”

Isogai patted his little brother’s and little sister’s heads.

“I’m home! Where’s Mom?”

“She’s asleep now!”

“I see. Then, let’s be quiet so that we don’t wake her up, okay?”

“Okay!”

Isogai took off his shoes at the entrance and explained to Pui,

“You take off your shoes and then you come in.”

After watching Isogai’s example, Pui timidly entered his home.

~~~

The Isogai household was having hot pot tonight. Pui prepared some wild hare he caught when he was deep in the mountain, while Isogai added some Kawahara* grass.They flavored the hare meat with wild perilla and ginger and seasoned it with the Isogai household’s traditional sauce. Everyone circled around the now finished hot pot. This was the first time Isogai had ever eaten hot pot made with hare meat, and he was struck with admiration for the taste,

“To think hare meat would taste so good! We’re able to try new ingredients all thanks to you, Pui!”

Pui made a satisfied expression upon receiving appreciation from Isogai and stuffed his cheeks with meat.

When it was time for bed, Isogai put away the dining table and pulled out futons from the closet. His little sister and brother were put to bed in one futon, and when Isogai placed the other futon down, the floor became fully covered.  

“Sleep here. It’s narrow, but it’ll have to do.”

Pui got into the futon as Isogai told him.

“Where will you sleep, Isogai?”

“I’ll sleep at the entrance.”

Isogai pointed to the entrance with a smile and started to head toward it.

“No way. I doesn’t want Isogai to sleep at the entrance.”

“Don’t mind me! I can sleep just fine even at the entrance!”

However, Pui wouldn’t listen to him and shook his head.

“If Isogai sleeps at the entrance, I won’t be able to sleep. Sleep with Pui.”

“Eh?”

“I always sleep in the same bed with my little brothers and sisters. I won’t mind.”

Pui grabbed Isogai’s arm and pulled him to the futon. Isogai gave in to his pushiness and reluctantly got into the futon with Pui.

Isogai’s younger siblings fell asleep in no time at all. Isogai, on the other hand, being in the same futon as Pui, a killer whose age wasn’t too different from his, was too nervous to feel drowsy.

‘Even if he’s a killer, he’s almost the same age as me, and we’re both human, right? What am I so afraid of?’

Isogai told himself to break the walls in his heart.

Suddenly, Pui began to speak.

“Isogai, I have one little brother and two little sisters.”

“You have even more than me? They must be quite the handful!”

“My brother is nine-years-old. He’s more useful at home than Pui. I want to protect them…”

Pui abruptly stopped talking.

“Pui? What’s wrong?”

Pui didn’t answer his question. He turned on his side and stayed quiet.

Although Isogai could practically feel Pui’s silence, he hadn’t yet closed the gap between them, so he felt that he couldn’t press on further.

‘I wonder if I was being too intrusive. However, I want to say one more thing.’

Isogai spoke to him one more time.

“If you’re ever in any trouble, let me know. My friends and teachers in Class E are pretty reliable.”

After saying this to Pui’s back, Isogai closed his eyes and fell asleep.

~~~

The next morning, there was a crowd of students in front of the classroom. Pui was showing off his talents on top of a platform. He prepared three empty boxes of caramels. One of the boxes had a mark on the inside. It was a game where Pui shuffles the boxes, and if the spectator chooses the box with the mark, they win. However, Pui’s judgement was brilliant, so it was hard to win against him. Terasaka was an easy mark for Pui, and he lost one game after another.

“Goddammit, I thought for sure it was the middle one! You’ve gotta have a trick set up in these boxes! Show ‘em to me!”

Terasaka took the boxes from Pui, flipping them over and tapping them as he searched for some hidden trick. Muramatsu laughed at the sight with his trademark “Shi shi shi”.

“Only Terasaka would be dumb enough to be caught in such a simple trick. You should be angrier at yourself.”

Frustrated at having been made a fool of by Itona as well, Terasaka made a face and yelled,

“If that’s what you think, then how about you try!? Tryin’ to make a fool outta other people…”

“Sure. I’ll show you a good example.”

Itona switched with Terasaka and stared at the platform closely. Pui grinned as he shuffled them, changing each box’s position one after another.

Pui movements were mysterious, giving the illusion that he had three, or even four, hands.  Itona watched so closely it seemed as if his eyes would become bloodshot, and at Pui’s call he immediately pointed to the box on his left. Pui moved to touch the box, but stopped when Itona told him to wait.

“I’ll be the one to flip it open, okay?”

“If you want.”

Pui did as Itona told him and raised both his hands in the air. Itona opened the box, only to find that there was no mark.

“How lame! You can’t make fun of other people now, can ya!?”

“……There must be some kind of mistake. I’ll get the next one right for sure.”

Pui grinned, showing his white teeth to Itona and Terasaka.

“You’re all quite noisy today. It’s almost time for class.”

Korosensei had entered the classroom. The sight of Pui playing with Terasaka and Itona put a satisfied smile on his face.

“Pui-kun, is it alright if sensei has a try, as well?”

“Sure!”

Pui lightly shuffled the boxes, showed him the box with the mark, and then mixed them together again so that he wouldn’t know which one was which.

“This is a type of street gambling common in many countries outside of Japan. You’re quite experienced with it, I see. However, you cannot deceive the eyes of a Mach 20 super-creature!”

When Pui stopped his hands, the three boxes were side by side.

“Pick which one you think is right.”

Without hesitation, Korosensei chose the box in the middle. When Pui opened the box, there was no mark to be found.

“Nyu-yah!?”

With a calm face, Pui began shuffling his boxes again.

“My eyes must have deceived me…… though, there’s no way that should be the case.”

“Let me try again!”

Pui flipped all the boxes open to show that there was only one box with a mark before shuffling them again.

“I won’t make any mistakes this time. I can clearly see which box has the mark!”

When Pui stopped his hands, Korosensei exclaimed, “It’s this one!”, and held down the left box with his tentacle.

“May I be the one to open it?”

“Go ahead.”

Pui let go of the box. Korosensei carefully opened the box, which, as one would expect, didn’t have the mark on it.

“Nyu-Yaaaaah!!?”

The whole class erupted in laughter.

“T-this can’t be……..”

Korosensei was staring at the boxes so intensely he could bore a hole through them. At that moment, a knife flew at him from the back of the class. Korosensei managed to dodge it by just a hair’s breadth, panting as he shouted with a hoarse voice,

“W-Who did that!? Sensei’s kind of in the middle of something right now!”

“Huh~ Your reaction time was pretty slow this time. So, if you’re absorbed in gambling, your reaction time falls.”

“S-so it was you, Karma-kun!? Good grief……”

Korosensei fixed his necktie and turned toward Pui.

“Pui-kun, your technique is magnificent, but don’t become too involved with gambling. There are people who have gone crazy with gambling in every country.”

“I understand, Korosensei. I’ll be careful.”

Pui pretended to bow before thrusting at Korosensei with a knife he kept hidden from view. Even if the first strike is dodged, he would press on with his attack and swipe at his sides. This would push Korosensei to the door, cornering him. Or, at least, that’s what was supposed to happen, but instead, Korosensei was back at his podium in a flash. Struck with a sense of powerlessness, Pui’s hands dropped to his sides.

“That attack was quite good. You’ve certainly made a lot of progress in the past two days. However, it’s not quite enough for that flower-circle.* Let’s polish your blade even more!”

After dodging Pui’s knife attacks, a flower-circle mark appeared on his face. Pui’s suddenly began to glare at Korosensei, eyes filled with hatred. This sudden change in his demeanor piqued Nagisa’s curiosity.  

‘I wonder why Pui is so obsessed with him? If he was just driven by a pro’s sense of responsibility, I don’t think he’d look so vindictive.’

While Nagisa’s head swam with doubts, he pulled out his notebook for class.

~~~

Once class was over, Pui finally sat down in a chair. He made many attempts on Korosensei’s life during class, until Korosensei ordered him to stand for the rest of the lesson. Seeing Pui stick out his lips and pout, Karma smiled gleefully and said,

“You want me to spell it out for you? One of the rules of this classroom is that our assassination attempts are not to hinder his class. If you want the 300 billion yen reward for assassinating that octopus, I suggest you follow them~”

“……300!? Isn’t it 100!?”

“If a group assassinates him, then the reward is 300. It’s so we combine our powers to assassinate him rather than try to trip each other up.”

“I see…… Then, Pui won’t lose anything if Pui cooperates with you guys?”

“That’s right.”

Nagisa joined Karma’s and Pui’s conversation.

“I’ll teach you about Korosensei’s weak points. They’re all things we’ve noticed while together with him.”

“Please, teach me.”

Nagisa flipped through his memo pad.

“First of all, Korosensei’s speed decreases when he panics. He exposes his weaknesses when he tries to act cool, and he has a surprisingly short fuse. Also, he’s weak to big boobs, so it’s good to aim for his life when he’s lovestruck by them.”

“……Every guy is weak to big boobs.”

Okajima and Itona instantly held their thumbs up in approval of Pui’s opinion.

“That’s your only reaction!?”

Nagisa couldn’t help but comment on the two’s reaction to Pui. Chiba, who was sitting in front of them, turned around to speak.

“Hey, if you’re working together with us, you’ll share any new information if you happen to get any, right?”

“Sure, Chiba!”

Pui nodded with a convincing look on his face.

“Ah, that’s right! This is important. Suicide attacks are no good. That was my first assassination attempt, and Korosensei got angrier than you could imagine!”

“How’d you try to kill him, Nagisa?”

“I put a toy grenade around my neck, which would scatter anti-sensei pellets everywhere, but he covered me with his molted skin, so I failed.”

Pui opened his mouth wide with shock.

“He can molt!?”

“Yeah, it’s his trump card, which he can use once a month. His speed drops after he molts, so it’s also something we aim to make him do.”

Pui’s eyes shone brightly.

“That information about molting is really valuable. But why are suicide attacks no good? It should be fine as long as you kill him.”

Nagisa felt that Pui’s question was only natural. Nagisa had a hunch that the reason lay with Korosensei.

“Korosensei told us at the start to, “Have an assassination that makes you smile and puff out your chest with pride”.  We don’t really understand his reasoning, but it’s the major premise of this classroom.

“An assassination that makes you puff out your chest with pride…..? I am always doing assassinations that make Pui puff my chest with pride. I kill for my family.”

After Pui said that, he fell silent.

‘I think I put him in a bad mood.’

Worried, Nagisa wondered if he had somehow angered Pui.

“Just leave him be, Nagisa-kun.”

Upon being told by Karma, Nagisa quietly separated himself from Pui. Pui wasn’t angry at all. In fact, Nagisa’s words were echoing inside Pui’s head.

‘I wonder if, this time, I can have an assassination that makes me puff out my chest with pride?’

~~~

“Your English is improving quickly, Pui!”

“As one would expect, the concentration power of a pro assassin is something else.”

Chiba and Sugaya started praising Pui after English class was over.

“Hey, hey, Pui!”

Nakamura approached Pui’s seat, peeking at his face as if she was dying to ask him something.

“You’ve done a lot of work up ‘til now as a killer, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have a catchphrase you use when you kill someone?”

“A catchphrase……?”

“Like, words you’ve decided your targets will hear as they’re dying. I wanna know what it’s like to hear one from a real killer.”

Pui was stumped by Nakamura’s surprising question. Hayami took that chance to interpose herself into the conversation from the side.  

“I don’t think that a real killer would say anything like what you see in manga or movies.”

“I wonder. I think that different killers would have different traits and styles, so there must be a few in this world that have a catchphrase. For example, something like, “If you’re feeling resentful, resent my client”.”

Chiba also got onboard with the conversation.

“In a drama, the assassin would say, “Someone wishes you dead, so please die,” or, “Allow me to explain the reason behind your death. It’s because you said too much”.”

“They’d be focusing on their work, so I don’t think they could afford to do something like that. Even so, they might bluntly say “Sorry” or “I was asked to give you a present”.”

Hayami was thinking more realistically.

“You’re so persuasive, Hayami-chan! It’s because of that professional air you have!”

Nakamura nodded her head to everything Hayami was saying.  

After having time to think, Pui finally replied to Nakamura’s question.

“When it comes to catchphrases, I…… don’t really have anything in particular. I press my hands together in prayer, then I kill them. That’s all.”

“So, you’re the kind of guy who works in silence, huh? That kind of stoicism is cool, too~”

Pui became sullen upon being told he was cool by Nakamura and hung his head down in shame.

“Hey, Pui, can I see your knife?”

“Sure.”

Upon Chiba’s request, Pui took out his knife from the bamboo scabbard he had hanging on his belt. Chiba examined it thoroughly, flipping it over and touching it in various places.

“It looks incredibly sharp.”

“Don’t touch it too much, or you’ll hurt yourself. It cuts better than a standard knife.”

“Seriously? You must take great care of it, then.”

Chiba carefully returned the knife to Pui.

“Hey, hey, who taught you how to be a killer, Pui? You must have had a teacher, right?”

“Half of my skills I taught myself, the other half I learned from my master. There’s a lot of martial artists in my village. My master is really good at splitting people’s heads open with his elbow and skewering people with tree branches!”

“Skewering people with tree branches……”

“Master always makes his own weapons. There’s always tree branches, nuts, and stones lying around, and those can be turned into weapons you can use to kill others. Even that grass over there can be used as a knife to slit your opponent’s throat. The most amazing technique my master can use is to shoot and kill people with pebbles he flicks with his fingers. He can flick them away like a gun shooting bullets!”

“Are you serious… no way…”

“You don’t believe Pui? Want Pui to do it to you?”

Pui threatened before laughing and lightening the mood with a “Just kidding!”

“Hey, don’t scare me like that.”

Chiba let out a cold sweat.

“Though, I guess a lot of things must have happened up until now for you to become a killer at your age. Why did you become a killer, anyway?”

“There was no other way for Pui to make a living. My village is close to the border of my country, and we’re constantly at war. My father got hurt when he stepped on a landmine, and the fields are all burned down.”

The classroom fell silent as Pui told them his harsh personal story.

“I didn’t get to go to school very much. A lot of my friends got involved with the war and died. I also have friends who were shot by my country’s own soldiers. I learned a lot from my master so that I could protect myself. I learned martial arts and English so that I could kill those soldiers when I needed to. I’ve killed them with traps made from bamboo spears and knives. It became my job. In order to feed my family, I’ve continued that work. But, this time, my job is different.”

Pui pulled a photograph out of his pocket. In the photo, two adults, one man and one woman, and three children were tied up and restrained. There was also a man wearing a black suit and sunglasses and another man with a scorpion tattoo on his upper arm who was holding a gun.

“This is my family. We are being threatened. If I don’t kill the target and win the 100 billion yen bounty, they will be killed.”

The students of 3-E froze. The color drained from Isogai’s face as he listened.

“The money is due in three days.”

“You should’ve said so sooner!”

Nagisa blurted out in Japanese without thinking. He took the photo and ran to the staff room. Korosensei was flipping through a book called “Guide to Conquering the World’s B-Grade Gourmet* Foods” before lifting his head.

“Oh? Well if it isn’t Nagisa-kun. And everyone else, too. What on Earth happened?”

“Please do something, Korosensei! It’s your responsibility!”

“Wha-What!? I have no idea what’s going on! Please explain from the beginning!”

“Here, look at this! Pui’s family is in this picture! If Pui doesn’t assassinate you in three days, they’ll be killed!”

Korosensei was overcome with a cold sweat as he looked at the photograph. After taking a moment to examine the photo, he placed it on his desk and turned toward the window.

“Pui-kun is a killer. This may sound cold, but when you make killing a business, such dangers are an unavoidable part of the job.”

“But that’s…! That’s terrible! Are you just going to abandon him!? Can’t you at least give him a chance!? He studied to together with us over these past two days and improved his English so much!”

Nagisa tenaciously appealed Pui’s case.

“……I guess I did tell him to study and assassinate together with you all. I’ve given you students a chance to hone your blades and assassinate me, so I suppose it would be unfair of me not to give the same chance to Pui-kun.”

“Right!?”

“Then, let’s test him to confirm that he has been polishing his blade properly. I will hand him a test to measure the progress of his English. If he passes, then I promise I will give him a chance to assassinate me.”

A smile flashed on Nagisa’s face.

“It’s a promise!”

Nagisa and the others quickly returned to class. Korosensei once again examined the picture of Pui’s family left on his desk.

“So, his family is being held hostage…… It appears there are some people in need of help.”

 ~~~

After class, Pui alone remained in the classroom to take Korosensei’s test. To ensure that his students don’t help Pui cheat out of pity for his circumstances, Korosensei chased the other students out of the classroom and supervised the test alone. Worried about the results, the students of 3-E loitered outside the school building, quietly waiting for the results.

“……Do you think Pui will make it?”

Nagisa anxiously asked Isogai.

“He made a lot of progress in such a short period of time. I’m sure that’ll show in his test results!”

‘If only I had listened more to what Pui had to say last night. Please, do your best.”

Recalling the impact Pui’s confession had on him, Isogai continued to wait for him, praying for his success.

“It’s almost time, I guess.”

Sugino couldn’t stay still, frequently checking his watch as he stretched. Then, the window to the classroom opened with a rattle, and Korosensei’s head popped out.

“The test is over. I will be announcing the results of the test, so those of you who are interested should head inside.”

And so, the students who were scattered outside the school building all ran inside.

 ~~~

“Pui-kun, please come here. I will hand you your test.”

Pui was almost pitifully nervous as he walked to the front of the class. His fingers trembled as Korosensei handed him his graded paper.

“You scored 95 points. A magnificent job. The passing limit was 90 points, so you easily cleared this test.”

“Alright!”

Class E cried out with joy. However, as for Pui himself, his expression relaxed only a little. He didn’t show any joy.

“Korosensei, you’re gonna give him a chance like you promised, right?”

“Yes, of course! A promise is a promise!”

“What kind of chance are you going to give him?”

“Preparations are already complete. Look!”

Korosensei pulled out a hemp rope.

“I’m going to use this to tie myself to a tree, and–

Class E all began to boo at him.

“Nyu-yah!?”

“What!? That’s not even a handicap!”

“That’s totally unfair! You should give him a better chance than that!”

“You better not run away from this, you damned octopus!”

Isogai, Nakamura, Terasaka, and the others all hammered Korosensei with complaints. Korosensei nodded thoughtfully.

“Pui-kun, everyone in Class E is telling me I ought to give you a big chance. Are you prepared to bet on it?”

“Of course!”

Pui answered immediately.

“Good. Then, let’s move to a place more befitting of such a big chance. I’ll also allow those who have supported you up until now to help you.”

Korosensei brought out a huge travelling bag out of nowhere. While everyone was taken aback, Korosensei stuffed Pui and several of the students into the bag in a flash and flew away.

“They’re gone!?”

The remaining students could only look around, wondering where they had gone.

Notes:

*Kawahara (河原) was a town located in Yazu District, Tottori Prefecture, Japan. It merged with other cities to form the city of Tottori.

*The word Korosensei uses is 花丸, which means flower circle, which is used in Japan as an equivalent for those gold star stickers you earn in primary school for doing a good job. It’s the mark you see him use a lot when he grades 3-E’s papers. Personally, I always thought it looked like a Naruto. 

*B-Grade gourmet refers to dishes that are delicious, inexpensive and provided in abundant amounts.

Ughh, this chapter was long... Pui’s home country sounds a lot like Korosensei’s. Can you guess who Korosensei packed in his bag? I’ll give you a hint: there are six students accompanying Pui. 

[speedystarfield]

Whoever is tired of Comet Woman is tired of life.

❝ . . n-nyu??❞

❝ excuse me Melody, I will be taking that. ❞ nail interrupt before taking the mail on hand.

❝ n-nyu?! nyu nuuuy..!❞

❝ Calm your shell kid, I'm just gonna investigate this message for safety measures. and make sure it's not Wily trapped or one of those goddamn grey-faced wierdos. ❞

❝ n - nyu nyu nyuun..❞ well, she didn't have more to add. Nail was older then her and her owner so, in a sense, he's bend to be the wiser,, right?

❝ heya Mel! ah got us sum cry- ❞

❝ HEY!, th' hell ya doin' wit' mah inbox mail?! ❞

❝ OH GODDAMMIT-!! ❞

*YEETS OFF*

❝ HEY! GET YER SCREW ASS BACK HER'!! ❞

*CHASING AFTER HIM*

. . .

❝ nyunyu.. ❞

❝ . . . ❞

[krustywhore]

sick of losing soulmates

(the title is both a pun on race being sick and also a song by dodie clark so yeah i’ve basically reached my peak)

here’s a cute little soft!sprace one-shot for a lovely anon! i really hope you guys like this!

find it on ao3 here!

Spot had already headed off to class when he finally heard from his best friend.

Racer: hey sorry about last night

Racer: I hope I wasn’t too much trouble but thanks for not leaving me behind :)

Racer: anyway I’ll let you focus on class

Racer: see ya later spotty

Spot smiled, looking around the lecture hall for a moment to see if anyone would notice before typing out a quick response.

Spot: yeah no problem, T

Spot: I’ll be home at noon so I’ll grab you some soup on the way

Yeah so maybe Race had stayed up for almost two days straight to finish an essay he had yet to start, and maybe the next morning he had his audition for his spring semester ballet, but he was definitely fine. Or at least he was fine until they went on a completely platonic movie outing that night and literally passed out onto Spot on the way down their apartment hallway.

So Spot definitely did not think he was fine. At first, Race was annoyed because goddammit he could take care of himself, but he had to admit, having someone there to take care of him was nice. Sure, maybe part of it was that it was Spot and any excuse to see his total softie side was an opportunity Race always took, but it totally had nothing to do with his major crush on him or anything. Nope, definitely not.

Still, as he sat curled up on the couch in their shared apartment, he popped one of the Advil tabs Spot had left out for him and turned back to his phone.

Jack seemed like a reasonable person to talk to in the moment.

Racer: Jack help I’m having boy troubles again

He chuckled a little at how, despite how much he hated when they called him out on it, Jack really was like the dad of their friend group. Race was often deemed the ‘asshole teenager that does nothing but complain about boys’. It was pretty accurate, to be honest.

Jack: shut up I can’t do this anymore

Race rolled his eyes knowing he deserved it, but Jack was just as bad, if not worse, before he finally asked out Davey, so he had it coming.

Racer: do I have to remind you how our conversations used to go six months ago?

Jack: …fine

Jack: what did he do now

Racer: ok so we were going to go to the movies last night but spot thinks I’m sick now so that didn’t really work out

Racer: basically I kinda passed out on the way out of the building and spot took me back home and took care of me

Racer: but I’m not fucking sick I swear I was just tired

Racer: it was nice though

Racer: it’s fun to rub it in everyone else faces that he only gives me attention so that’s a bonus at least

Jack: ok first of all fuck you he likes the rest of us

Jack: probably

Race couldn’t help but smile at that. Jack was right, obviously, but Spot always liked to pretend he didn’t care about anyone, but never Race. It served as excellent teasing material, not to mention the fact that it only fueled how badly he was falling for his best friend.

Jack: but I get it, we all know he likes you the most, just don’t let it get to your head

Jack: maybe try telling him after all this time

Jack: it’s been almost a year race, come on. what’s the worst that could possibly happen?

Yeah, he was waiting for that.

Racer: hmm, well there’s always the possibility that I lose the best friend I’ve ever had and the one person that makes me happy

Racer: but yeah that’s no big deal at all, I should just do it already

Jack: ok calm down asshole, you of all people should know he’d never do that to you

Jack: even if maybe he didn’t feel the same, he cares about you more than probably anyone on this planet so I think the chances of that ever happening are pretty much nonexistent

That helped. Damn, the thought of being the person Spot cared most about? Yeah, that was downright dream-worthy.

Nonetheless, Race couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

Racer: thanks jackie

Racer: I’m not promising anything I’ll say, but I’ll talk to him

Jack: fucking finally

Jack: let me know when you find out how wrong you are about all of this

Race: I’m blocking you

Just as he was about to send Jack one final ‘fuck off’, the familiar sound of Spot’s gym bag hitting the floor outside their door was enough for him to practically leap off the couch and dash to the door. On the other side was Spot, just like he knew it would be, with his key inches from where the doorknob had just been.

“So it seems you’re up,” Spot smirked once the initial surprise wore off. His expression softened a little as he noted his very own NYU film department hoodie practically drowning the other. “You feeling better?”

Race blushed a little and shrugged, leaning against the doorframe.

“T, I know you’re sick, trying to pretend like you’re not is completely pointless,” he spoke, a fond smile on his face as he stepped inside, pulling one of Race’s arms over his shoulders as he led the refuting boy back over to the sofa.

“I’m not sick, you should know this by know, I’m just very dramatic,” Race drawled, earning a legitimate laugh out of Spot as he sat beside him, sliding his hand down from around his shoulders to hold comfortably around Race’s waist instead.

“Race, you fainted straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes,” Spot teased, receiving a glare from the other boy before he moved closer, leaning his head against the other’s shoulder. “You’re sure you’re okay though? I don’t believe for a second that you aren’t sick, but did the Advil at least help a little?”

Race just nodded, sinking into the comfort of his newfound pillow.

“Good, well if you’re tired I can leave you be. If you need me, I’ll just be in my room, okay?” Spot offered, standing up from the sofa, not looking back at Race as if he was hiding something.

“Wait, no,” Race spoke up softly, surprising Spot, who turned back around with wide eyes and redness in his cheeks. “Will you stay? Please?”

The tiny smile that brightened Spot’s face was completely contagious as he nodded and slid onto the couch beside the other, Race, once again using Spot as a pillow as he curled up into his side with his head on the boy’s chest.

To say Spot didn’t know what to do was an understatement. He was pretty sure he was about to have a heart attack as his shaking hands curled around the other boy, holding him closer as he watched him slowly fall asleep. Or so he thought.

“Is this okay?” Race mumbled nervously, pulling away from Spot slightly, much to the other’s dismay.

“Of course,” Spot started, a mixture of fear and longing mixed on his face. “Is…is something wrong? Did I do something?”

Race quickly brushed him off, curling back into their previous position.

“No, it’s just…your heart is beating really fast and I wanted to make sure everything was okay,” Race continued, his own heart doing the same, whether he knew it or not.

“Oh,” Spot blushed, tightening his hold on the other. “I guess you just have that effect on me.”

His words weren’t meant to be as real as they were. It wasn’t unusual for him to express his actual feelings by phrasing them like a joke so no one knew he was serious, but if there was one person who could always see through them, it was Race.

“Do you really mean that?” Race’s nervous voice broke him from his thoughts.

“I…yeah. Yeah, I mean it, T.”

He could feel Race nod against his chest and almost cried right then and there as he felt him sit up.

“Tony, I just-“

“I really hope this is what you meant because if not I don’t know how you’ll ever forgive me for this,” he spoke in an incredibly rushed tone as he refused to look up at Spot. The latter, however, was absolutely terrified, but in mere seconds, it was gone.

Race leaned forward, sliding his arms around Spot’s neck as he connected their lips, gently and far too quickly for either of their likings.

As Race pulled away as quickly as the kiss had lasted, Spot simply just stared up at him in awe. Race looked terrified as if he was already planning how to flee the country, but Spot had other plans. He sat up, level with the other, and held his face in his hands. His thumbs brushed gently over his cheeks before gently leaning again and connecting their lips once more, this time longer, smoother, and so worth the wait.

When they finally broke apart, they were both slightly out of breath and extremely red in the face. One look at the other was all they both needed for smiles to crack through their amazed expressions.

“Fuck, I probably just got you sick,” Race chuckled nervously, their foreheads pressed together and their lips mere centimeters apart.

“I have literally never cared about anything less in my entire life,” Spot stated, simply leaning back down and pulling Race back with him.

They resumed their previous position, Race curling into Spot’s side and resting his head against his chest as Spot held him tightly in his arms, kissing his forehead gently before they quickly fell asleep for a well-deserved nap. Neither of them had ever slept better than they had in each other’s arms.

[thedisneyfanartdidntdie]

The Argument

He gets so close to saying it - to saying he loves me and that he wants me, but every time he almost crosses the line, something haunts him and he puts the walls back up. I see it cross his face; he gets so close and it seems like he's gonna fly through that cage, but then he gets scared and puts his wings back down and pulls the cage closed again. I can't tell is he's getting weak with exhaustion putting up the front and just giving in to the crumbling of his cover, or if he's getting stronger as he's healing and beginning to release his feelings.

I keep replaying that argument in my head; can you admit you have feelings for me? I can admit I'm still hurt and it's still messing with my feelings. But can't we just move on and be happy together? and he looked at me with a blank face and afraid eyes. We both know. The way I pleaded; we both know we love each other. The pain painted on his face. The way he scrunched and bit his lips, unsure how to respond. I want to move on, I just don't know which parts I can let go or which parts I need to hang on to... I don't know what I want to hang on to. The way he shook his head in frustration as his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes searched the sky for an answer. What does moving on even mean? Does it mean getting the balls to try again and risking it all again or does it mean not hanging on to anything so that it doesn't hurt me? I remember the burning in my throat before I started screaming. What do you want?! You said you wanted me before! His terrified face morphed into a face of anger, but I saw the fear lingering in his eyes, the way his irises were so pale and his fear sparkled like shards of ice pricking his eyes. His voice was a freezing cold whisper and I still don't think I've ever seen him so angry and so hurt. I told you what I wanted and you didn't believe me. A furious pause. I told you and you didn't believe I chose that for myself. I told you I wanted happily ever after with you and that I'd give anything to make it for you and you didn't believe it was my heart and soul talking! you said I needed to chose you - well I didn't have a choice Minerva I fell for you and when I offered everything to you you didn't want it. I spat his anger right back. I didn't say I didn't want you! You're right you didn't say anything! You got on a plane to move across the country and never spoke to me again!

He was right. He was so right. He tried and I just ran. And that's why he's so scared; because his vulnerable honest 18 year old self had offered me all that an 18 year old in love could and I just ran, ran because I denied myself everything I ever wanted and was too selfish to realize I was denying him everything he wanted too.

Well look at how you handled that you called me for 2 months and then what fucked some attractive people to try to feel something?! I said it without thinking.

He chuckled spitefully. I did feel something - I felt the world and more for you. I wish I felt nothing after that maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much.

I remember the way we just looked at each other, so angry but he was so cold; his normal warm loving self had frozen over after that terrible day. And I felt awful. The guilt gnawed at me and now I'm desperate to make it right. We had stared each other down, breathing heavily and infuriated. After a moment we both said "I'm sorry" but Mickey wouldn't look at me after we said it. I remember the exasperated sigh I gave. I couldn't help the tears that came after.

I pulled the crystal necklace off myself and chucked it off the balcony into the maze garden. I had wanted that necklace so much when I was at NYU, but that necklace meant nothing when I wanted Mickey and to be with him so much more. I couldn't help breaking down in my own regret and self pity. I saw Mickey hitch his shoulders up and freeze even tighter into a sharp grimace. He always said he hated to make me cry.

"Goddammit," I spat, standing next to him at the balcony. "I wish I could just go back and say I love you." It was out before I could stop it. I gasped, but then the hesitancy and the vulnerability really didn't mean shit compared the hurt that I felt and that I know Mickey feels from trying so hard to not be honest with each other.

"Mitchel I love you. I always loved you and will always love you and I know now that it was cruel and horrible of me to not say it back but I just..." I shrugged, I've never been so frustrated in my life. My shoulders felt like the literal weight of the world was weighing me down. "I couldn't be honest with myself and I was prioritizing all the wrong things and - "

"Min," he tried interrupting.

"No dammit Mitchel let me finish. I couldn't say it before so let me get it all out now," I interrupted. I've said his full name maybe once in my whole life and now I had just used it twice in one minute. "I regret not telling you and I'm so sorry and I'm sorry I cut you off and I'm sorry I let myself think my insecurity and feelings of self doubt and low self esteem were stronger than our feelings of love for each other."

I hadn't been daring to make eye contact with him, but this all would really convey how much love I truly held for him if I said it while looking deep into his beautiful blue eyes. When I turned to him his eyes were slightly widened and his brows were slightly raised and his mouth was slight agape. I took one last deep breath, and blew out my insecurities with the air as I exhaled.

"I love you and I promise I will do everything I can to make it right." I shook my head. "there's so much I regret."

Mickey looked away for a minute and his jaw tightened as he swallowed.

"I regret a lot of things that I have and haven't done too.. But I also think some of it was necessary because I grew and matured a lot as a person from it," he had whispered without looking at me. "those people I had.. the people I had sex with really didn't set my heart on fire, I just felt my heart race with them."

He raked his hands through his hair like he used to do when he was stressed. Why am I so selfish? "Do you regret your time with me?" I asked, and I had only pondered asking him that for a moment before I let the question slip out. This was a selfish question, but it was also an honest one.

Mickey clenched his jaw again. "I regret not fighting to make our time together last longer," he whispered, still not looking at me.

My heart broke yet again; he loves me, he has to, but I don't deserve it. I'm a horrible person. Mickey shook his head and shrugged with a deep exasperated breath. He sounds and looks so tired. "Maybe some things we don't chose but, I want to chose to use these experiences for good. Maybe some things happened that were outside of my control but I can control what I do with those experiences - you know, what I do after."

This is how I know he's matured - and so drastically too.

"And what do you choose to do? How do you choose what's next?" I asked.

Mickey chuckled silently. "You can never just let things be can you? You just have to have an explanation for everything."

He was right - again. "I guess I feel like things can't be as simple as happily ever after," I admitted.

"Why not?" he asked, his voice and body language softening slightly.

I shrugged. "That only happens to princes and princesses written for happily ever after. That stuff doesn't happen in real life."

"So what do you think you are?" Mickey shook his head. "I wish you'd change your perspective a little bit," he said, his voice less hostile but definitely more sad. "You never felt like dreams could be real when you were with me?"

"I didn't say that," I said quickly. Every moment with him was too good to be true, was the real issue.

"It was just.. too good to be real," I admitted.

Mickey looked me, and I couldn't categorize his facial expression into a single emotion - it seemed like it was a harsh mix of sadness, confusion, amusement, surprise, anger, and frustration.

"If you think all the good things in life are just too good to be true, you're never going to be truly happy," he said. For at least the dozenth time tonight, he was right again. Wow, he really has wisened up since we were last together.

"Maybe I don't deserve true happiness," I wondered out loud.

Mickey chuckled bitterly. "Do any of us?"

It was quiet for a moment.

"You do," I said, hoping he could hear my honesty. "You deserve everything and anything that makes you the happiest in the world because you make the world so much better."

Mickey clenched his jaw and looked at me. We stood there looking at each other for a long time. "You wanted me to choose things like what I feel for you, and yet here you are saying I 'deserve' things I can't choose," he said. He shook his head. "you confuse me."

I wanted to cry again. "I confuse myself too." I don't know if it was primarily my self pity making me this way or just the emotional exhaustion of trying to get myself out of my comfort zone to grow up.

"You think way too much," Mickey continued. "Just let things be, accept things as they are. If you keep going through life with this unrealistic expectation that all things are chosen or justified or expected, you won't really be living life - you'll be living in a tormented fantasy. You say you love me, then just fucking accept it and let it remain as true."

He shook his head. "No disrespect Min, but maybe this whole breakup and everything was meant to happen, because right now.." he sighed trying to think of the words he wanted to say. "Right now you're not ready to add my dreams and realities to your mix, and I'm not ready to try to add sparkle and magic or love and trust to someone's life who can't even believe she's seeing it with her own eyes because she thinks the good things in life work only for those who deserve it or choose it."

Mickey's eyes were intense. "Love is not a choice, and life shows no mercy - life just happens and it is what it is."

Everything Mickey's saying is true and right. What the hell do I say to all that?! I couldn't decide what words to let out so I just took a deep breath. Mickey looked at me for a minute longer, then got up from his perch against the balcony and moved to rejoin the party.

"For your sake, I really hope you get out of this funk," he said, then walked away from me.

I remember feeling so dumbfounded. I wanted to call for him but nothing I said was gonna accurately portray all the mixed intense emotions in my heart, making me nauseous and feeling faint. And as sobering as this argument had been, his wise advise and strong words just made me fall more in love with him.

[brittababbles]

Can you write a Jason Todd x POC reader where the reader became Dick's friend and an intern of Bruce's after Jason died. She meets Jason for the first time at one of Bruce's galas and Jason tries to hit on her but she is not having it. But the next time she sees him is when he comes back to the manor to get first aid from Alfred after his patrol but Alfred isnt there so the reader patches him up and they hit it off.

Author’s Note: We should establish ahead oftime that I’m a firmly middle-class white woman, which makes me feel a littleunqualified to write a POC reader fic, but I gave it a try. I altered thedetails of the request just a little bit; I hope that’s okay. Obviously I haveno ownership of any of the DC characters. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCESATTEMPT SHOULDER REDUCTION AT HOME.

 Warnings: amateur surgery? Mention of injury,Jason being a bit pushy in the first part.

 So it’s true whatthey say: the best way to get a job is to know someone on the inside.

 ExecutiveAssistant to Bruce Wayne. You’re pretty sure what sold it was when you wrotedown “Dick Grayson” next to the line on the application asking if you knewanybody currently or previously employed at Wayne Enterprises. You’d known Dicksince Gotham Academy, when he’d befriended the new girl who was there on ascholarship, and you’d wavered in and out of touch with him since graduation.You’d been in an out-of-touch portion of your friendship when you’d submittedthis application, six weeks out of NYU with a business degree and back inGotham, desperate for income. Apparently he had fond memories of you, though,because you’d gotten a call back for an interview less than 24 hours later. Twointerviews and a shadowing later, you’d landed this job.

Let’s be real, youweren’t expecting Bruce Wayne’s assistant to have to assist him outside theoffice. Technically the gala was work-related. Or at least work-adjacent. You were getting paid for it. Mr. Wayne hadnodded in approval at the sight of you out of business wear and dressed up inyour copper ball gown, the braids that had taken hours to create carefullytwisted on the top of your head.

So here you were,holding a beaded clutch in one hand (that secretly contained your phone, asmall notepad, and several pens. You kept reminding yourself that this waswork), and a flute of champagne in the other, trying to decide if it wasreasonable to drink it with your boss watching. You leaned your weight slightlyonto one leg and sighed, staying within earshot of Mr. Wayne without getting underfoot.You took a small sip of the champagne and wrinkled your nose slightly againstthe taste. Expensive, and painfully dry.

“Not a champagne girl, huh?” a voice askedfrom your right.

You turned yourhead and spotted a young man grinning at you. He was vaguely familiar, but youcouldn’t quite place him.

“Jason Todd,” hesaid, extending a hand.

Ah. Dick’s littlebrother. The…dead one? You shifted your glass to your other hand and took hishand. They were strong, and more callused than you’d expected. Not the hands ofa rich kid.

“I’m –“ you began,but he interrupted you.

“I know. Iremember you. Dick’s friend,” he grinned, “You turned out...nice.”

Your eyes narrowedas his swept the length of your body.

“Uh-huh,” youresponded doubtfully.

“Wayne Gala,” heobserved, “they’re tedious. Wanna get out of here?”

“Yeah…I’m on theclock,” you said sharply, “I should probably stay close to Mr. Wayne.”

“Bruce wouldn’tnotice. He might propose business at these things but he won’t do it untilmorning.”

You fixed him withyour firmest glare.

“No,” you saidflatly.

He held up hishands in defeat, seemingly getting the message.

“Okay, okay, Ithought I’d offer,” he said.

Your glarefollowed him as he slipped across the ballroom and out of sight. You frowned atthe spot where he’d disappeared into the crowd for a second before turning yourattention to your boss, who was grasping the hand of a very important-lookingolder man. You took a deep breath, arranged a dazzling smile on your face, andstepped forward, ready for whatever Mr. Wayne needed. That was, after all, whyyou were here.

  You opened thefiling cabinet behind Mr. Wayne’s desk, slipping the manila folder into thedrawer. Time and a half for all hours outside the office made it totally worththe awkwardness of working in your boss’s study. You sank into the chair behindthe desk, reading off the laptop screen in front of you when you heard a loudcrash from the hall, followed by a shout.

“Goddammit…Alfred!Shit…” a voice called.

You poked your headaround the doorframe and spotted a silhouetted figure at the end of the darkhall, leaning slightly to one side. You slipped across the hall and grabbed theunlit candelabra off the side table opposite the door to the study. Creepingdown the hall as quietly as possible, you noticed the shadowy figure pawingrather gracelessly at the grandfather clock against the wall. You approachedsoundlessly, candelabra raised high.

“God…fuckingclock…why can’t he just…umph,” muttered the person.

A pair of headlightsflashed through the window and in the brief light you saw a flash of scarlet.The Red Hood. Your stomach clenched as you came closer; The Red Hood. What hewas doing in Mr. Wayne’s home was not a curiosity that you could even considerat this distance. You sidled up behind him and brought down the candelabrasharply.

In the subsequentscuffle, a lot of shouting echoed around the hall.

“Shit! What the…hey you’re that girl from the… Jesus woman, stop!”

“I. Won’t. Until.You. Tell. Me. Why. You’re. Here!” you yelled, punctuating each word withanother whack from the candelabra.

“Stop! It’s me!It’s me!” he yelled.

Abruptly thelights came on, courtesy of his hand slapping into the switch on the wall. Hepulled his helmet off and you were stunned at who you saw.

“Jason?”

“Yes!” he gasped,“What the hell was that for?!”

“There’s no oneelse here. It was self-defense,” you said, frowning at him.

“You just hit mewith a candlestick!”

“It was handy,”you snapped.

“Yeah, well…ack!”he broke off, clutching at his right shoulder.

“What’s wrong?”you asked, abruptly concerned.

“I think it’sdislocated,” he answered, teeth gritted, “Is Alfred here?”

“No, it’s just me.Mr. Wayne said something about going downstairs and I haven’t seen him since.”

Jason frowned.

“That’s not good,”he muttered.

You sat back onyour heals and looked him over, thinking.

 “Once completed,apply a sling to the injured arm,” the video concluded.

You and Jasonlooked at each other.

“It’s not hard,see?” Jason said calmly.

“You want me toput your shoulder back in socket based on a YouTube video?” you asked incredulously.

“You can’t make itany worse,” he answered.

“I really think Ican,” you said, shaking your head.

But he was alreadyawkwardly pulling his shirt off. Your eyes lingered on the skin beneath justlong enough to feel your cheeks heating up.

“Okay, fine. Itlooks like you need to lay on the floor,” you said, restarting the video.

Perhaps thehardest part was when the video instructed you to be patient. Steady but firmpressure was a much easier concept to describe than to execute. Jason didn’tscream. Instead he bit hard on his bottom lip until it bled.

Finally, after anaudible clunk, you felt somethingchange in the position of his shoulder. The raised portion had disappeared andhe let out a sigh.

“I think you gotit,” he said.

“I certainly hopeso,” said a voice from the door.

You both looked upto see Bruce Wayne and Alfred standing there, watching. Your eyes went wide, immediatelythinking off all the ways you could be fired. Jason, however, grinned.

“Hey, Bruce. She’sdefinitely the best assistant you’ve ever hired.”

[alt-ernativewonderland]

This bitch™

THIS CHEEKY BITCH ASS WINKING BITCH needs a SLAP God he’s so infuriating and cocky and smug and nonchalant and so darn attractive and...what was i saying...?

“-Their eyes trace Tom’s line of sight over to you in confusion.” Oh boi oh boi oh boi Oh bOi this was so obvious i’m so glad that Haz and Harry are a little slow on the uptake goOd loRD #shoOk

“Do you, uh,  know something we don’t?”

Not much except what Tom looks like undressed and the kind of sounds he makes and the things he says in bed and what his face looks like when he.....what was I saying?

"You looked up to see Harrison smiling softly above you. “Typical,” he said and offered you a hand." HARRISON - HARRISON!!!!!! BBY BOI you are so WHIPPED i can’t it’s too much boi you is gonna get your heart broken 😭😭😭

• hnnnnnnnnnggggg Harrison he’s so sweet and fluffy i want to take him home i personally would like to thank you. for. this. whole. airport. interaction truly blessed me with this and i thoroughly enjoyed reading it

“You sure you’re okay?” Harrison asked lowly as you shuffled through masses of people. “You’re walking kind of funny.” “Goddammit Tom.”

HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA THIS

THIS

oooohhhh nooooooo oh my god Harrison i don't think you want to know the details babe FOR GODS SAKE THOMAS

“And where have you two been?” Harry asked with a grin when he saw you walk up together.”

This.....this line.....makes me think he ships it.....does he ship it? Is he just subtly giving Harrison shit? God i love me some good Harry tidbits you know i love me some teasing Harry oof THIS IS THE GOOD STUFF 👌💕

“You’re really not going to tell me where you and Harrison snuck off to just now?”

OOOOHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT i love it i love it i love it I. LOVE. IT. i need more i love jealous Tom ooft it’s too good i mean really he deserved it after that stunt he just pulled

“Is Tom bothering you?” Understatement of the year Harrison

“The girl who’d left the states back in July wasn’t the same girl who was flying back now. And you’d always known it would be that way, but everything was different now. You were in the final stretch. After this was all over Tom and Harrison and Harry would fly back to England and you’d stay in America. You thought you’d feel more relieved.” Oh i really loved this little tidbit of self reflection Y/n defs needs a well deserved holiday after this rollercoaster crafted from the very definition of the word drama itself...and chaos. Chaos-coaster!

“Here, you can hold my hand if you want.”

SMOOoOOTH HARRISON god my heart he is the softest boi can I please have him? Pretty please?

and they kept holding hands

1. jEaLoUs tOM

“Tom still insisted on getting your carry ons down from the overhead compartment so you wouldn’t hit yourself in the face despite the fact that you weren’t talking to each other.” #oldmarriedcouple

"They’d waitlisted you, but now you were back working on a major motion picture so who was laughing now?" HAHA SUCK IT NYU thats my GIRL RIGHT THERE

"There weren’t any lights on in your room, but it was still bright from the fluorescent lights of billboards shining through the sheer curtains."

Again agaaaaaiiinnn with painting the picture so well you are so good at it i love these little details 😭👏

SO. MUCH. HARRISON. CONTENT. uuugggghhh you really done treated me with this chapter and y/n was such a boss, so much BDE (dick and dork cause she clumsy af we love her to bits though) and i’m glad she’s still standing up for herself a little and still not taking any of Tom’s shit lying down (unless it’s in the bedroom if yaknow what i mean 😉😏😏)

**** Harrison name count mention - 14 including that one sooooo much love for you rn ****

This was soooo late enjoy this gif of Tom it will be the death of me and so will this damn fic

We’re Only Kidding Ourselve- Part Nineteen

A/N: ayyye nineteen parts, I’m nineteen years old…. noice :)

Prompt: Enemies to lovers au (from @marvelellie‘s 1k writing challenge!!)

Summary: You work as a production assistant for the Spider-Man: Far From Home crew, or rather as Tom Holland’s handler. The two of you don’t get along very well to say the least, but you won’t quit and he can’t fire you so you’re stuck with each other.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of previous smut, anxiety

What I listened to while writing: Phantom of the Opera lol I was a theater kid

Word Count: 3.1k

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine| Part Ten | Part Eleven | Part Twelve | Part Thirteen | Part Fourteen | Part Fifteen | Part Sixteen | Part Seventeen | Part Eighteen

Tom’s eyes searched the crowd once more, looking for someone through the masses of people until he finally met your gaze. You stared straight at him with murder in your eyes and watched in disbelief as he winked at you.

You felt your jaw drop open in shock as you held his gaze. There was a look in his eye that said checkmate and you were this close to shoving your way through the crowd and socking him in the jaw. Give him another mark on that pretty face to worry about. You might have done it too, if you weren’t preoccupied with the concern that you might pass out.

Keep reading

[soupysuki]

ok status update the starbucks is only free for three days and the hot chocolate ran out ;-;

[waylangoeswooo-blog]

the one school I really want to go to and that I manage to get into, I can't afford.