#he's a lot more willing to express himself in a vulnerable way which makes him better at communicating feelings to others

[meanbossart]

Is DU drow like....traumatized at all? Or is he one of those rare people who are so just adaptable that they don't internalize trauma? He's been through a lot in his young life!

Huh! I gotta admit that this is a surprising, but very interesting question to get. So, lets take a moment to look at the worst of what this clown has to offer WRT to his behavior/belief system:

-Obsessed with being the strongest, most impressive thing in the room at all times and feels threatened when someone is larger or seems more confident in themselves than him. -Has two singular friends (one whom he's bound to mate with until death dating) and is utterly convinced that everyone else in the world is worthless and nothing but a brief source of entertainment or trouble. -Thinks of himself as the sole protector of said friend's lives, and would hold himself entirely responsible for any bad fate that befell them, even if it had resulted from a choice they made on their own. -This also sometimes results in him accidentally belittling or minimizing their accomplishments/capabilities. -Defaults to categorizing people as either a) a threat or b) too weak/pathetic to worry about. -Would be incapable of articulating and working through his own negative emotions without the help insistence of his partner. -Willing to put himself in harms way at any time. -Utterly incurious, if not avoidant, about his own past and previous life, while simultaneously insisting that he's unbothered by and not at all responsible for the atrocities committed then. -Terrified of the very concept of being - and expressing - fear. -Believes that if he ever appears anything but capable and confident, or fails to provide protection or resources to his friend and partner, they will (rightfully so) leave him. -Hates help. Don't help him. -Hates being pitied. Don't feel bad for him. -Believes that his sole purpose in life is providing for his partner and puts himself in harm's way for them constantly, even if it goes against their wishes. -Is resigned to the idea that when Astarion dies, so will he, and thinks this makes him a loyal partner.

Do you see what I'm getting at? Some of these characteristics/beliefs are misguided biases. Some are consequence from terrifying, life-altering events of loss, hopelessness and helplessness. Some are quite literally just coping mechanisms and others are just him being arrogant because he realizes that he looks impressive in a mirror. I won't attempt to draw the line between which is which, I don't think you can.

But my point is, is that sometimes trauma response looks like anxiety, fear, tears, and emotional vulnerability, other times it can just make you a rather unlikable, though hopefully not totally irredeemable person.

[loveundrwrld]

yandere ex bully’s yandere alphabet!

i got the template from this post :)

(cws: violence, mentions of bullying, mention of dysfunctional/abusive family dynamics, stalking)

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

starts out with verbal affection, praise and compliments- which are very intense off the bat, and he won't really scale it down. in his mind, you need to know exactly how he feels about you and why you are important to him. especially if you are not physically in his life... which is pretty likely. he'll also express his affection to you through acts of service- getting you glasses of water, food, etc. or, he'll try to "make you feel safe" by being around you so nobody dangerous can get to you.

to him, he can prove himself to you being nice to you and treating you well- so he's likely to come off as intense as he's very fervent in his effort. if he thinks his darling is more willing to be with him, he'll calm down a bit after a while.

he'll also express his affection to you physically with hugs, kisses, etc, but he'll keep that to when he thinks you are okay with it. he’s not good at reading his darling and he’s somewhat aware of that, so he’ll often mirror things you do to him to you thinking that you’ll be more likely to like it (like using the same pet names, kissing you in the same places, etc.)

Blood:How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

he understands that practically speaking, his darling could very well get upset or afraid of him if he really hurts people like he wants to. so unlike other yanderes he won't kill anyone behind your back. he might snap and hit people/beat people up, but that's as far as it goes.

however if his darling requests it, he can get very messy! he doesn't really have care at all for anyone other than his darling. so, if you ask him to kill anyone- including his friends- he will do so, easily. his only limit is that he won't want to kill his brother, and he'll likely become emotionally distant from you for a while if you ask him to do so.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

i think tanner is much less likely to straight up kidnap you. once he's reached a certain breaking point, he's more likely to just break into your house and just... not leave.

he'll only kidnap you if your living situation makes it impossible for him to do this without him being caught (such as if you have a roommate) or if your living situation is physically unsafe in some way.

he wouldn't straight up mock you though, he's really trying to avoid doing so. he wants to show you how much he's changed and how nice he can be for you! but he might show his impatience and irritation that you still aren’t hearing him out. he wouldn’t yell at you, but he would be blunt and passive-aggressive in some circumstances.

he can come off as cruel and insensitive though as sometimes he can be rather blunt without thinking. like, "why did you date that guy? he's such a little bitch." this side of him comes out more often if he's jealous.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

not intentionally, but practically speaking that's often how it turns out (see "Affection" above- he's not good at reading or predicting his darling.) probably ends up hugging and kissing before his darling would prefer, as he genuinely thinks that his darling is likely ready for him to do so.

he's less cautious about this if he thinks his darling is willingly in a relationship with him of their own free will... which, likely isn't what's happening. but, he will quickly back off with physical contact if asked.

he's a lot more blunt about asking consent for anything sexual though, and will likely just wait until you bring it up of your own volition. he's too worried about messing up your first time with him to risk anything.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

one of his insecurities is being seen as "soft"- it's why he became a bully in his youth in the first place, due to his deep seated insecurities with himself. he wants to be seen as a tough guy, like your guard dog or something. he wants you to think he's strong, and someone to rely on.

he also wasn’t the best in school, and struggles sometimes with things. so he also doesn’t want you to think of him as “stupid.”

he doesn't really want to be vulnerable, to show you that he's upset if it's not to show you that he cares about you. he'll say things like "i missed you so much" or say "i'm hurt that you did that" for instance, but will try to hide anything like him crying, nightmares, etc. basically to him, if it's not related to you? you don't really need to know about it.

his darling probably can guess as to what is going on a lot of the time though, as he can often drop disturbing facts about his childhood in casual conversations without realizing (as he genuinely doesn't understand how bad his upbringing really is.)

he also may act weird about some things and not tell you why- like huffing a bit in frustration if you offer to pick up something heavy for him or to calculate the tip on a bill for him and not explain why, which probably signals to his darling that something is up.

he'll close himself off a bit if you try to talk to him about how he feels about his childhood or any insecurities though. it takes him a long time to actually be vulnerable with you.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

sad :,(

he'll be obviously visibly hurt but, to him this isn't very surprising. he expected this as a possibility. he lets you know that you can hurt him as much as you like if it helps you feel better! (this doesn't work the way he had hoped it would.)

he wouldn’t stand for being continuously hit over a long period of time though. then, he’d get impatient, as he wanted to get your trust in return the first few times. if he doesn’t get that, there’s no real point to it for him. it’s less that he’s concerned about his safety, moreso that he has his limits with his patience.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

not a game at all, he would not enjoy watching his darling escape. his goal is for you not to be afraid of him after all.

especially if he actually abducted you to his house or a secondary location- since he'd likely only go for that route if he deems your usual lifestyle too unsafe or something. do you really hate him so much that you'd go back to your previous life, even though he'd do anything for you??

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

well, the whole concept of his character is that he's his darlings former bully- so, it could very well be him bullying them as a child. he isolated them from getting friends when they were younger and made their school life unbearable.

aside from that, i think the worst case scenario would be a darling who already has a significant other. that would really cause him to snap out much faster than he would normally. possibly even before he really reconsidered what his relationship to his darling in the past was like, which would make him far less considerate to his darling.

tanner is a bit willfully deluded sometimes, and sees things in a certain light due to paranoia or jealousy- so he's likely to freak out from just minor signs that you are unhappy, and pin that on your partner mistreating you. he then used that as an excuse to threaten them and hit them.

even though he usually lets you go anywhere you please, he also might be more likely to kidnap and isolate you if you already have a long term partner you are living with. though just for a bit- his goal is that he wants you to forget about them.

to have a partner that the darling loves and feels safe with, only for that person to basically be terrorized by tanner enough for the partner to leave the relationship and then subsequently be forced to be around someone they fear and hate... that would probably be the worst experience for the darling.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

when he was younger, his older brother had given him little tips on what to do in a relationship- and it was geared towards him dating a woman. hold doors open for a date, carry your date’s bags, walk your date home... etc.

due to this, he has a specific view on how he wants a romantic relationship to be. he wants to take a typically masculine, provider type of role. he doesn't particularly care how his darling presents themself or what their gender is, he just wants to treat them a particular way, especially if they're in public.

(although, if your condition of being with him is that YOU take that role instead... he may be willing to reconsider his ideas ;))

does want to get married and live with you in a mutual, loving relationship where you feel protected and safe with him- that's his ultimate goal for the future.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

yes, he gets jealous. he'll often lash out against the person (not the darling.)

in very mild cases, he might just grumble and be blunt/passive aggressive with how he talks about that person around his darling.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

depends on the situation!

if he thinks you feel safe around him/are willingly choosing to be around him? very sweet, nice, and a bit flirty and affectionate.

if he thinks you dislike him? he's very desperate, clingy, trying to show you how good he can be for you.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

literally, with letters lol. he wants to let you know just how much your mind, and is all too honest in how he expresses just how obsessed he is with you. phone calls too until you block his number.

likely keeps to sending you letters and stalking from afar- until he thinks that you are hinting at him that you want him to approach you. in which case, he'll try to arrange a meeting through the letters he sends you.

although, if he thinks that you may need him being around closer for one reason or another (generally if he believes your current lifestyle to be very unhealthy/unsafe) he will not wait that long and may just... break into your house and not leave, so he can be there to supervise you a little.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

yes, lol. due to a combination of what i said earlier re: his insecurities with being seen as "soft" and him just generally not caring about people other than his darling... he acts VERY different with his darling in private than he ever would around anyone else.

at his job he's not smiling, he's very straightforward and isn't really friendly with anyone. he keeps himself from straight up mocking others (so he doesn’t lose his employment) but he doesn’t reign in his expression or tone much. he'll be clearly annoyed if anyone wants help or asks questions. around you, he's bright and happy to spend time with you, doing whatever you ask him to do.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

not the type to punish his darling! he's more the submissive type. if he's upset with you he may be passive-aggressive or distance himself from his darling for a little bit. if it gets really bad he'll get a bit catty and talk to the guys he works with about you behind your back. but he wouldn’t punish you as he doesn't think it's his place to do so.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

generally he lets you do whatever you want! it's just that a lot of the time, whether you know it or not... he will also be there. lol.

if in the extreme circumstance he kidnaps you, he's already on edge and nervous that this will cause you to hate him. he's not likely to do much other than to not let you outside or talk to others. but that’s for practical reasons, so you won't alert anyone to your current situation.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

sometimes he gets impulsive and emotional and breaks some of his darling's boundaries. but otherwise he's pretty patient! he's trying to be, he just gets caught up in his own feelings sometimes.

he can be a little easily agitated, though, even with his darling. he more or less is expecting you to have a grudge against him, but you repeatedly insulting him or yelling at him would make him a little irritated. he’d feel like you aren’t giving him a chance to redeem himself. he’s more soft when it comes to his darling being afraid of him, though.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

absolutely distraught and devastated if his darling died... he would be in a state of regret thinking he could have done something different for a long time, likely not doing anything to move past the situation for basically the rest of his life.

if his darling escaped though, his reaction would be much less drastic. he's upset, and he's going to put as much effort as he can to try and find you again, but he's not nearly as depressed.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

if he realizes that you are scared of him?? VERY guilty, deep regret. he doesn't like doing things that make you upset!

there really isn't any circumstance where he would willingly cut contact with you all together, though. is he aware that that would be for the best? sure. but he's way too far gone for that. to him, you're the only reason he has to be happy.

closest thing he'll do to that you space for a week or so (like, if you brought it up as an ultimatum.) after the week ends he’ll go back to you immediately afterwards acting needier than he was before.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

poor childhood upbringing, mostly. his parents were neglectful to the point of being abusive, and he was basically raised by his older brother, who was also a troubled teen himself and treated him poorly.

since he never really had a place to feel safe or appreciated, he wanted to be seen as the "toughest" guy in school as a kid. he wanted to feel powerful. this is what caused him to become a bully and fixate on you strongly- you likely seemed to be an easy target.

his lack of a proper upbringing also caused his yandere qualities later in life when he realized he wants you as a lover. he has a very black and white thinking due to a poor childhood- it's either you, or no one else. and, since he often feels like what he cares about has often left or been taken away from him- he is very obsessive over you, as you are one of the few things in his life that make him feel things this strongly. he generally feels like he has to "earn" a persons respect that is important to him, because that's how it was with his older brother.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

upset :( he doesn't like seeing you like that! it's a little unnerving watching you break down like that, he's going to try to be desperate to get on your good side.

if it's just isolating themself, though, he's not as worried. he just thinks that the darling needs some time alone and doesn't really think much of it. unless the darling is missing meals or something, he's not going to say anything.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

yep! he's pretty carefree about what his darling does, more just wanting to be around his darling rather than control them. you can have a job and a regular life for the most part.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

well, he can be impulsive if he's caught up with his emotions- this causes him to make some obvious mistakes that his darling can then use to their advantage.

for instance, it's pretty clear that he's stalking you through the letters he sends you, and he's honest about many things if you just ask him. he also offers to kill people for you... which, if you play your cards right, could lead him to going to jail.

also: very easy to manipulate. it’s really not that hard to engineer opportunities for you to be left alone so you can prepare for an escape.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

he's really trying hard not to, especially physically. he doesn't want to risk scaring or upsetting you at this point. the only thing i could see him doing is grabbing his darling's wrist too hard if he's pulling them- but he would have to be very caught up in his emotions for him to do that.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

he very much worships his darling and puts them on a pedestal. to him, you are kind, mature, and well-adjusted... regardless if you really are those things.

he's willing to do ANYTHING to win his darling over- and he's very insistent they give him the chance to do so.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

depends on a few factors. if the darling is already in a relationship? very quickly, maybe after just a month of stalking and seeing what the dynamic is between the darling and their significant other.

if the darling is in an unsafe environment or is extremely neglectful of their health, it would take even less time. maybe even less than two weeks- which isn't good for the darling, because he hasn't fully processed how he feels about the darling at that point, and will likely be much less patient or kind with them as a result.

but, generally speaking, it takes about about a year or so of him stalking you to get to the point where he feels like he needs to send the letters to you.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

pretty unlikely, actually. they might have breakdowns and definitely don't appreciate him being around, especially at first. but he's not likely to emotionally break them to the point where they don't act anything like themself, he’s not a cruel type of yandere to his darling. if they are so upset that it's extremely obvious to him, he will try to be nicer to them in some way or another.

[hwnglx]

this man is a complex person, i tried my best to explain it with my limited english heh 🥹 hope it's still an enjoyable read

mingyu's ideal type

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

physical traits

youthful facial features. big, bright and expressive eyes. (i can see him liking glittery and sparkly eye make up on girls) fair complexion. athletic and firm build. fairy like but intense. strong air and fire influences. i keep seeing taeyeon from snsd.

personality traits

mingyu wants a person who's unconditionally loyal to him. i remember for my svt love reading, i got lethargic energy from him, and i think a lot of that might come from mingyu feeling misunderstood. his birth chart is so interesting, with that sun and venus in aries plus virgo mars, he can come off strong to people. but that pisces moon softens him up a lot. he is much more sensitive than one would think.

there is this big reluctance in him when it comes to being open about his inner conflicts or self doubts, because it feels like people either won't take it very seriously, or believe he'll get over it anyway, since he usually presents himself in such a confident manner. (he can also just get embarrassed about being such an emotional man) this reading surprised me, actually. mingyu seems to really want and need a person who's patient and understanding with him. who's willing to invest their time and effort into the relationship, who's okay with the relationship probably requiring more work than others, just because he seems to not be a guy who's overly comfortable or familiar with more longterm connections.

mingyu wants a lover, who can change his perception of love. who can make him believe that love is legit, and he is a person worth trying for, a person who is capable of a committed connection. i'm in his energy, and can truly feel this inner sadness. there is this feeling of being burnt out, like no one will in fact care enough about him to put in the effort.

mingyu wants a person who can open his eyes to the better version of himself. and in his eyes, that is the version of him, that is capable of loving someone boundlessly. i keep hearing “change my mind”. i also thought of the song change me by justin bieber (again lol), which hits home to an almost scary extent, for the way mingyu seems to feel. it appears to be at this almost delusional level, of sincerely hoping there is that one person out there who will help him change. he wants to be able to let go of his ego, and show his lover his more vulnerable side, without shame. yet again, i keep feeling embarrassed for him, like it's just uncomfortable. he's deep in this perception of “men shouldn't be like this.”

mingyu likes generous and selfless people, he wants someone who will display how much they care for him in an open manner. whether that is through their words, or their actions. he seems to really love the idea of this more “traditional” wife material (the empress!), someone who will know how to nurture someone's emotional needs. he wants someone capable of intimate and deep emotional connections. he's (as many pisces moons are) someone who sees himself in other people. he subconsciously tends to mirror people, so it's an essential need for him to have someone by his side, who is more comfortable with the things he still struggles with.

he also likes people who are protective over their own territory, who look after their responsibilities and obligations in a reliable manner. mingyu wants his lover to have a clear idea of what they want in life. someone who just aligns perfectly with what he wants as well. however, he finds it very charming when they can get more shy and almost childlike and 🤭🥰 all cute and giggly when in love. he likes getting a reaction out of the person he likes.

him as a boyfriend

+ this keeps coming up again and again, but mingyu will really want to let go of his insecurities when with his lover. they tend to weigh on him so much (someone check on this man ㅠ). most of his insecurity seems to be based on his actions, which makes sense with his perfectionistic virgo mars. so, in a ❤️ connection, he feels like he needs to step up his game, and do everything in his power to satisfy his lover.

he's very giving. once mingyu is in love with someone, he'll be open and expressive about his affection towards them. there is this profound desire in him to showcase his love in a direct manner, he's very passionate. his love language is mostly based on physical touch, words of affirmation and giving gifts. he has so much aries energy, which can make him come off as very self-centered, but he's at his most generous when he starts a romantic bond. i can see him buying you the most extraordinary gifts, he'll really want to impress you, and be immensely proud if you show him the happiest reaction. like he fulfilled his mission. he truly wants to be a good boyfriend.

he's also very private when it comes to his relationships. he believes it's an intimate, and special thing, that only the two of them should be involved in. mingyu will put much value into keeping the details of the relationship a secret. i can see him loving this idea of sneaking out with his lover at night, or doing things they shouldn't be doing, at inappropriate times, with no one knowing. he loves the thrill of it. the mile high club popped into my mind, so.. do with that what you want, lol.

- well, a lot of this passion can be a short-lived sensation. mingyu will be extremely invested in the beginning stages of the relationship, feel a lot of enthusiasm and drive (“you're the love of my life”), but i can see him growing tired quickly because of all the effort and patience a relationship requires. there is this vibe of, expecting you to do a lot to keep the relationship going, but not seeing himself able to remain patient enough to do the same. blaming you for not doing the things he himself isn't even doing.

there seems to be regret, and the realization that he was the main problem in many of his failed relationships. he is now realizing, that relationships shouldn't be based on passion and emotion only, but require the ability to continuously remain committed and dedicated, which is a struggle for him. so, he wants and needs his lover to do what he can't do, and teach him a less thrilling, but more consistent way to love someone.

“i know i can often mess things up and suck at relationships, but if you believe in me and don't give up on me, i know i can turn into a better man.” is what it's giving.

[mysadcorner]

Hii! I just saw that your asks are open, and that you write for Kingsman. Yesterday I discovered the two Kingsman movies and I watched them both, and now I'm obsessed with both Harry and Merlin.

I wanted to ask you for a Merlin or Harry fic (whichever you want) of angst and the grovelling trope. Like, maybe he has a terrible day and the reader tries to confort him, but he ends up snapping at her and telling her some real hurtful things and so he has to grovel *a lot* to earn her forgiveness or something like that :)

If you don't want to write it or you're too busy I completely understand :)

Also, if you do write it, please tag me, I don't want to miss it for the world <3

Ps: My name is Leyla and I'm also 20 lol what a coincidence haha

Harry Hart Grovelling For Reader Headcanons

- Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters wanted in headcanons and read request rules -

Masterlist Navigation

• Harry would never mean to offend you or snap at you in any way, so when he does it’s just as much of a shock to him as it is to you afterwards. He’s usually very calm and polite, even in stressful situations, so he must have been under a severe amount of stress to even snap at you unintentionally.

• Despite what others may think of him, he would absolutely grovel to you in private if you’re truly not willing to forgive him. It only takes one bad look for him to start trying to get on your good side again and will beg if he feels like he’s not getting through to you in private.

• It would get quite emotional for him, mainly due to him not being used to being vulnerable or exposing his deeper feelings quite often. He’s extremely reserved, so when his emotions do come out they’re quite powerful which shows how genuine his grovelling for forgiveness is.

• Not only is he going to grovel, but he’s also going to do things for you that may win back your favour or your forgiveness for him snapping at you. Small acts of service would be his way of expressing his affection, much easier than him showing emotion in various ways, so this would be one of the first things he would resort to if he can’t get through to you.

• The guilt would be visible on his face whenever he sees you, even if you have forgiven him. So, even if he’s done with the grovelling and begging for your forgiveness, he’ll still make it very much known that he’s sorry for whatever he said for you for quite a while after the incident.

• His behaviour is never reckless, but for you it can be in subtle ways. As a part of his grovelling he may put himself into more dangerous positions for you, or go out of his way to prove how much he cares for you while others may only suspect that he had a small slip up while in action or getting a job done, mainly because everyone knows how capable he is. It’s only after you forgive him that his small reckless actions end.

[idyllic-affections]

to be quietly loved.

summary. what would dan heng be like as an older brother?

trigger & content warnings. mentions of injury and nightmares.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff, found family, very slight angst if you squint. dan heng (including il, towards the end) & younger sibling figure!reader. 1.1k words. they/them pronouns used for reader.

author's thoughts. i just remembered i have free will and can write fics about who i want to whenever i want to (/lh) so i wrote platonic dan heng content!

dan heng would be very quiet and subtle in his care. he is undoubtedly a fantastic brother! but his love language is very quiet, only noticable to those who pay close attention.

his gestures of care are quiet, and his words even moreso, but... well. it's fitting for someone like him.

he pays attention—very close attention, actually.

if his sibling seemed interested in something (perhaps their gaze lingered somewhere too long), or if they offhandedly mentioned a potential new interest to him, he would make a mental note of it.

his sibling might find the book they've been wanting to read or the cool ring they saw in a shop's window sitting in front of their door on the express a day later. <3

he's not the kind of brother to bully his younger sibling LMAO

he would rather do things for them—little acts of service to show his love in a wordless way—rather than bully them into doing things for him.

another way dan heng subtly expresses his care is in battle. he always has their blind spots covered. it's... a bit more obvious than his other displays, but really, it doesn't matter. what matters most is his sibling's safety.

and if they haven't left their room in a while? whatever the reason may be, mental health or physical health or any other reason, he's leaving meals by their door. he sends them little texts throughout the day, giving them the opportunity to seek support if that is something they need while also not forcing himself into their safe space if they just want to be alone for some time.

of course, his quiet nature does not mean he doesn't verbally express his affection. he does, but only in the soft moments in which he is alone with them.

(march would relentlessly tease him otherwise.)

late nights spent reading together in the archives, observing the stars together when everyone else is asleep or otherwise occupied... moments like that.

additionally, moments of hurt.

especially moments of hurt.

if his sibling happens to have nightmares about their own past, much like he does, he will offer them the security of his comfort and support. he'll always be there; that is one thing he can safely assure them of.

(maybe he'll live longer than they will. maybe he won't. either way, he will be there for as long as he is able.)

he offers to reassure them over text if they aren't really comfortable or ready for physical contact, but he will also offer to let them spend the night in the archives with him. whatever puts their mind at ease.

dan heng is always willing to hearing their story if they are willing to share. maybe he isn't quite ready to reciprocate that same vulnerability yet... but he does reassure them that his lack of openness is not because of them or something they did. it has nothing to do with them. they'll be the first to know when he is ready, he swears it.

or if they get physically hurt... he's there in an instant, finishing off whatever monsters dared to harm them and then rushing them back to the express to get their wounds treated, even if it really isn't that serious of a wound. he sees blood and goes into worried mode immediately.

he spends a lot of time with them while they're recovering, to the point where welt and himeko will teach him how to clean and rewrap their injury.

if it was preventable, something they could have avoided with just a little more patience and awareness, he will absolutely scold them for their lack of care, but...

he thinks they've already suffered the natural consequences of their actions, so his lecture on safety is very short.

"...Sorry, Dan Heng. I know I should have been more careful."

"You should have," he agreed, gingerly rewrapping the gauze on their arm. The gash, as a consequence of taking a rather brutal hit from a member of the Antimatter Legion, was healing well. "...I forgive you, though."

They smiled, leaning their head on his shoulder. He adjusted his position slightly for the sake of their comfort. Their weight provided a soothing reassurance that they were alive and well. He still recalled the sheer terror that had struck his chest when they cried out for him in the midst of battle.

"I mean it, [Name]. Be more careful next time. What would have happened to you if I wasn't there?"

"Probably something bad," they admitted, reaching over to his freehand and mindlessly toying with his fingers. "Thank you for being there."

Dan Heng sighed, freehand tenderly raking through their messy hair. "I will always be."

'It is the least I could do for you.'

he's very protective in that way. he genuinely doesn't know what he'd do with himself if something happened to them when he could have done something to keep them safe. he would never forgive himself, really.

he'll also teach them to fight for their own safety, if they don't already know how. if they do? he'll spar with them and help sharpen their skills.

dan heng does his best to not leave his sibling unprepared. he knows deep down inside that he cannot always be there. he wants them to be prepared to defend themselves, to be able to survive without his presence and support.

and when he does finally ackowledge and accept his past...

man.

he's even more protective, if that is even possible. it's some kind of instinct within him, like the way a mother feels inclined to protect her child, or how a lion does to its young. he feels an inexplicable pull, a need to keep them away from harm.

dragon instincts, basically.

he would literally obliterate anything that posed a threat to them fr. he also hates seeing them wounded in that form. he hates it normally, but in his vidyadhara form? it ignites some kind of deep-set anger and worry in him.

aeons forbid they were ever seriously injured.

the things dan heng would do in their defense would... not be very pretty.

on a fluffier note, i just know he gives really secure, safe hugs, especially in his vidyadhara form. if something happens to frighten them? well. his arms are always open. he's always there to comfort and reassure them, even if it happens to be something silly that scared them.

he'll also let them braid his hair in his nonhuman form if they ask nicely enough! he doesn't even try to hide the style when its done. he just walks around the express with it, even if march and stelle and himeko all giggle a little about how cute it is or how well it suits him. welt just smiles knowingly.

overall 10/10 he is a wonderful older brother <3

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[avocadotoasting]

most attractive quirks and traits to haikyuu characters; grab bag

sugawara, nishinoya, yaku, aone, oikawa, hinata, akaashi, atsumu, komori, hirugami

sfw | gn reader | fluff

sugawara

he does like someone that gets along well with children, him being around them a lot himself, but what’s most attractive to him is someone that can make kids laugh. he loves when someone really lets their goofy side come out just to make kids smile. it gives him a good laugh too.

nishinoya

being an adventurer, nishinoya loves people that have a mind just as, if not more, open than his own. what really strikes him is when someone is actively a daredevil, willing to try anything once just because. he loves creating experiences with others, especially if they’re experiences that are once in a lifetime.

yaku

yaku is gregarious and not afraid to take up space or be loud. he laughs openly and loudly when something delights him, and something that always gets him cracking up is when someone is trying to tell a joke, but can’t stop laughing while telling it. what others might find frustrating, yaku finds very endearing, and usually even funnier than the joke itself.

aone

aone has a discerning eye when it comes to his surroundings. when he notices someone that goes out of their way to pick up trash or unpleasantries around that others may miss or ignore, he finds his heart warm. typically only he catches these eyesores, but he has a deep appreciation for any courteous soul who would also go out of their way. he wonders what other hidden delights hide in that person’s character.

oikawa

something about oikawa is drawn to strong opposition, likely because of his competitive nature. he loves when someone challenges him, and finds a lot of fun in playing games, having light-hearted debates and arguments, anything that invites someone to take him on. he sees it as a sign of confidence, and confidence is something he finds deeply attractive.

hinata

no stranger to self expression, hinata loves to find other like-minded individuals that are unapologetically themselves. especially people that don’t care who see them dancing in public if music is playing--there’s something so freeing and lovely to see someone deeply enjoying themselves and music; watching the whole ordeal could practically put him under a spell.

akaashi

having a non-stop train of thought can be an unfortunate burden for akaashi, so when he is around someone that loves to tell stories and wax poetic for hours at a time just so he can submerge his mind into someone else is soothing to him. not to mention, it gives him great opportunity to make mental notes about someone he may want to hold dear.

atsumu

he shared everything his whole life, which makes atsumu a little territorial of his things, meals, clothes, and whatever else. but something about someone that always offers to share no matter what it is really warms his heart--he’d been forced to share so much he finds it charming when someone is so willing to do that without provocation.

komori

komori can’t quite explain it. he’s really into sweaters--he loves when someone wears lots of sweaters and warm clothes, especially ones with corny patterns or graphics. as active as he is, his favorite way to unwind is a good cuddle on the couch, and it’s hard to resist nuzzling into a plush blanket or sweater.

hirugami

hirugami, despite his depth, has simple needs in a partner. he really loves people that love animals. hirugami does have a small preference for dogs above the rest, but any animal lover is more than capable of showing a side of vulnerability he really treasures. he’d also really like to play with their pets (if they don’t mind, of course.)

[whateverisbeautiful]

♥️ Ranking Richonne

#17: You Led Me Here (S7E12)

Of course Say Yes has found it’s way back to the list. 😊 This is such a powerful and important conversation between these two. And the scene is stunningly acted from them both. It’s moving every time I see it and while it’s heartbreaking that this van scene ended up having some foreshadowing with the fact that Rick and Michonne will in fact “lose” each other 2 seasons later, it also is such a beautiful declaration of how much they love, respect, trust, need, and believe in each other. Rick and Michonne have had such a valuable impact on each other and this scene depicts how aware they are of that...

First, I love how Rick wanting to extend this trip with Michonne came up consistently in so many Say Yes scenes. And it’s super sweet that he wants her to know how much he loved this time with her when he pulls the van over and says he could've gone a few more days and would have liked that.

He knows Michonne's feeling a lot rn, and he wants her to know that while that was a scary moment with the whole Walker/deer thing, the overall honeymoon trip has still been everything they could’ve wanted.

If they could’ve stayed on this run for a month, homeboy would have been down for it, I'm telling you lol. He so openly loves her and wants to be around her. He has for seasons, and I love that post-canon he now gets to more directly express that.

Then Rick just breaks my heart and boosts my respect even more when he admits to her that he hasn’t been sleeping thinking about what they lost and thinking about his friends.

I love that Rick is always so willing to be vulnerable with her and let her see his most human side.

Side note: Another thing I think about is how in the TWD pilot, Rick talks with Shane and shares that while in front of Carl, Lori asked Rick if he even cares about her and Carl at all. It’s a line that intentionally has some real irony to it, as throughout this series we see Rick go on to demonstrate just how much he unquestionably cares about and will do anything for his family. But clearly, because Rick and Lori weren’t actually each other’s person there’s this inability to truly understand each other. It’s really one of TV’s most compelling depictions of a fail-marriage if you ask me. And I noticed that Lori always felt like Rick didn’t open up and show his care enough for her liking, which just makes me think about how much Rick grew over the seasons and how much Michonne brought out a side of him that was so different than with Lori. You know Rick found his true person in Michonne because he is always so willing to express himself with her. He shares his fears, his pain, his secrets, his hopes, and especially his adoration for Michonne always. And I just love seeing that Rick knows he can let Michonne into every part of his heart. 😊

And Michonne is always so willing to be there for Rick in these vulnerable moments like the one in this van because, upon hearing this, she immediately reacts and puts her focus on him, allowing what he’s sharing to resonate even above the personal state she’s in.

You can just see how much she feels for Rick and doesn’t take it lightly that he’s confiding in her right now.

Ok so then this is when these two don’t take their foot off the gas when it comes to getting me emotional as heck. Cuz Rick opens up about Glenn which is already just heartbreaking to hear them talk about him, but then he says how Glenn saved him but he couldn’t save Glenn. And it’s just tragic. 😢

Like you really feel the weight of this loss when Rick says this, and it’s painful knowing he feels almost like he let Glenn down by having to just sit there and not save him in the lineup.

Then when Rick says “it’s normal I know that” cue my tears because seeing him get teary trying to grapple with these heavy emotions and remind himself it’s normal to be stuck on it is just so heartrending. Like the way Michonne is looking at him at this moment is how I’m looking too. You just feel for the guy. 😢

(Another side note: I’ve seen people dismiss Say Yes as filler, but I actually think there’s important things that happen in this ep. I mean, even if the episode was just a time of levity for Rick and Michonne to enjoy their love and have some well-deserved alone time on their honeymoon before the war, I’d personally still have been sat and satisfied. But regarding the series, this is where we get valuable insight into two very important characters' mindsets about the looming war, their recent losses like our baby Glenn, and about life, which is necessary to see imo. And this particular Say Yes scene plants a seed for the show's future as we see Rick essentially choose a successor for who he thinks is most fit to lead the people if something were to happen to him. Which is notable. And, of course, Rick's choice of who should lead the others forward is his own leader - his exceptional wife. 🤗)

When Rick says they went through something that’s not cured, Michonne does just the most heartfelt thing as she softly places her hand on his face and whispers, "Rick, I’m sorry."

I adore the way she comforts him. The way they always hear each other and are present with each other. The way she sees him feeling so much and just instinctually reaches for him and expresses empathy. It’s beyond beautiful. 

And then it’s Rick’s turn to do the sweetest thing ever when he looks at her with so much love in his eyes and takes her hand and kisses it. It’s similar to when she did the same and kissed his hand in a very special scene earlier in the episode (oh we’re gonna talk about it 😋).

The way Rick cherishes Michonne is so evident as he kisses her hand and continues to hold it close to his chest. I’ve always adored how Rick and Michonne are these fearless warriors to everyone else but with each other that’s their baby who they would do anything to care for and protect. And that profound love for the human in front of them was on display in these two gestures from them. 

Rick tells her how they’re going to fight the saviors. He says that’s what happens next, and they’re gonna lose people, maybe a lot of them. I’ve always felt like there’s this layered sadness in Rick finally having to talk to Michonne about the real possibility of this war not ending how they hope it will.

Because throughout this ep, Rick so enjoyed seeing Michonne happy and he wanted to stay present in this positive bubble with her. But as the trip concludes, and as Michonne has now learned that losing Rick could potentially make her empty out to the point of dropping her katana in the face of walkers, Rick now knows he has to let talk of unfortunate possibilities in this war enter into their bubble.

And while it’s not fun to talk about, I appreciate how he still holds her hand throughout this cuz he’s comforting her while knowing this topic is not something she or he really wants to consider. But as the leaders, it’s a discussion that has to be had.

Then Rick says how they may even lose each other. Which again, how Michonne reacts is how I react because we are not trying to hear that.

She turns away and stays quiet because both her winning mentality and her love for Rick won’t even allow her to entertain the idea of losing the love of her life.

But Rick isn’t wrong. It’s possible. And I just like that he puts them in their own category because there are the people they love - and they really do love their people - but the idea of losing each other specifically is a very unique type of devastating for them. 

Rick says, "Even then...it’ll be worth it" and, watching it back, maybe it’s just me but I really do hear something in his voice that says he’s not 100% convinced about that point. But he’s trying to believe it and help her believe it too because he knows how distraught she became thinking she lost him and wants to remind her the fight has to continue even if she’s without him.

And if I wasn’t shedding big tears before...this next part happens.

After shaking her head at the notion of losing each other, Michonne starts to open up as she says, “When I thought that…” and just the trailing off alone is gonna break me every time. Because she can't even bring herself to say the words of thinking he was gone.

And then Michonne pauses and turns to him and, in the most devastatingly beautiful and vulnerable way, says, “I can’t lose you.”

When I tell you I react to that moment like I’ve never seen it before every time. My heart breaks every time. 😭 The love she has for that man is just so deep, and that was so extremely clear in this moment. I’m shedding a tear every time I hear it idc. 

Like wow. It’s such a big deal for Michonne to feel this and express this. She was the ultimate lone wolf when we were introduced to her. This was a woman who had lost so much so abruptly at the refugee camp and felt she had to then keep people at a bit of a distance to avoid being heartbroken yet again.

To see how far she’s come to have opened herself up so fully to team family, and to the Grimes family, and particularly to Rick to the point that now she loves him so much she feels she can’t lose him. It's so meaningful.

And this actually speaks to Michonne's strength because her strength isn't just derived from her katana or her ability to fight and survive - Michonne's strength is also radiantly reflected in her willingness to be vulnerable and open her heart up again even despite the risks.

When I tell you this well-rounded character is an inspiration. I stay looking at Michonne (& Danai) like...

And then y’all, those magnets seem to be kicking in cuz Rick is getting as close as he can to her to remind her that he hasn’t forgotten what she said when she asked him what kind of life they had just surrendered. I love that one thing Rick will never do is forget Michonne or anything she's ever said or done. 😊

Rick expresses that he agrees it wasn’t a life, but what they did while out on this run (and I do think he means everything they did on this run 😋) and fighting for their kids and the communities is what living really is.

It’s precious seeing Michonne nod through tears as she agrees with him about how making a future for their daughter, Judith, and Glenn and Maggie’s baby and fighting the fight is living. Rick repeats her words from earlier in the ep by bringing up 'fighting the fight' which is sweet.

Again, Richonne tones for the win as Rick tells Michonne that she is the one who showed him that’s living. I love that he always gives her so much credit and acknowledges the positive influence she has on him. Not only does he trust her to have this power in his life but also to straight up tell her she has this power in his life because Michonne would never use her influence for bad or to manipulate.

Rick says she can lose him, and Michonne and I really just be on the same wavelength lol, cuz when she turns and says "no," I felt that. Like even though she knows they have to fight for the future, she still loves Rick so much that she doesn’t want losing him to be on the table. 

But Rick says she can and that he can lose her. As I’ve noted before, it’s def meant in a literal sense of a physical possibility of losing each other rather than an emotional ability to lose each other and be fine. 

He softly places his hand on her as he shares they can lose friends, and people they love, and while we hadn’t heard 'I love You’s' by this point, you still just knew how aware they were of how in love they are on this trip.

Interestingly, Rick says, "it’s not about us anymore." The "anymore" makes me think it's said that way because at one point it was somewhat about them for Rick. Not losing Michonne, Carl, and Judith and having more time with them was a big reason why Rick didn't want to fight beforehand.

Then it is a very big deal when Rick tells Michonne that she’ll have to lead the others forward if he doesn’t make it because she’s the one who can. He says it with such conviction, and I adore how much he wholeheartedly believes in her. 

Michonne is truly so perfect in Rick's eyes and so capable. They are each other's biggest fans in the best way.😊

After all this time spent as the head leader, Rick entrusts Michonne most to pass the baton to in his absence. They’re such equals, and he knows that she can carry the torch and continue doing what he has dedicated his life to doing - which is leading the others forward. 

It’s powerful and also heartbreaking foreshadowing that she’ll have to do just that when he’s taken away. But seeing Michonne protect their ungrateful community post-Rick’s departure was heartwarming to me because it felt like her honoring what Rick shared with her in this van in 7.12.

Michonne asks how he knows she’s the one who can and then Andy just perfectly delivers the line, “Because you led me here” Powerful. I adore that the scene ends on this. It is so moving and so fitting for Rick to acknowledge the way Michonne has led him here.

Michonne has truly led him in so many ways, and I love that Rick is fully cognizant of that and seems so happy to look at her and let her know the immense impact she has. Rick is always going to give Michonne her flowers. Always. 😌💐

It’s great seeing Rick get to lift Michonne up and instill some empowerment, honesty, and encouragement to her with this whole conversation. They're both so good at speaking right into the other's heart.

It was a beautifully acted scene, a powerful conversation, and also very telling to both how Rick and Michonne feel about each other and how they’ll proceed when they eventually do get unwillingly separated.

And thank goodness losing each other wasn’t permanent and these magnetic soulmates will finally get to be back in each other's arms once again. It’s where they’re most meant to be. 🥰 

[k-popanimeotomeandyanderes]

More len kagamine, please more Len

Part 1

•Len really struggles with his feelings towards you. He's so jealous, but he doesn't want to seem vulnerable. He's used to being the one pined after, not being hopelessly in love with someone else. He doesn't know how to express it, so he'll try to seem indifferent to you or sleep with other people to get his mind off it.

•When he's in a "relationship" with you, he'll only ever cheat when he knows you'll be aware of it. He'll bring people over and make sure you hear everything. He'll make it obvious when other people are texting him or trying to hook up with him. Depending on his mood and your reactions, he might punish you by making you watch him sleep with other people.

•If winning you over by trying to seem in demand doesn't work (which it probably won't), he'll stop eventually. Maybe he'll just play hard to get instead. He might try to ignore you for a little while, but it never works, especially if it doesn't seem to bother you.

•Instead, he'll try to force your affection. This isn't necessarily sexual, but it might be.

•He really likes sleeping next to you. He finds it comforting to wake up next to you and know you're there with him instead of someone else. He also likes cuddling with you and feeling your body against his.

•He prefers not tying you up when you sleep, but if you don't willingly sleep in the same bed, he will.

•He doesn't show it, but he's actually really hurt if you reject his affection, especially the more emotional and wholesome things. He does actually like you.

•After a while in the relationship, if you still don't accept his affection, he'll get more forceful. He doesn't like hurting you or punishing you, but he feels as if he has to. If he can't make you love him, the next best thing is to fear him.

•He doesn't like to leave scars. He loves your body and couldn't stand the idea of knowing he'd left a permanent mark on you like that.

•Since he doesn't want to do enough damage to scar, his physical punishments aren't as intense as some other yanderes. He tends to avoid actual weapons and embraces the more kinky side of punishments. Len really likes choking you and seeing you helpless beneath him.

•Another common punishment is degrading. Len might be in love with you, but he's very willing to say horrible things about you. He feels bad making you cry, but in his mind, it's worth it in the end. He'll also project and call you a slut or a whore, even when he's way more likely to cheat.

•He has a short temper when it comes to you. You make him really emotional, and all his inner turmoil builds up. He'll snap at you or yell at you a lot. He tries to be calculated, but because of all his emotions, he ends up being more impulsive.

•Len feels bad after his outbursts or punishments, especially when you're hurt or if you cry. He'll be affectionate and caring after. He'll cuddle you and kiss the places he hurt you. He'll praise you if he degraded you or made you feel insecure. For some time, until you do something to upset him again, he'll be really sweet that you almost forget how awful he was before.

•Len is one of the more lucid yanderes. He knows what he's doing is wrong, and he does feel guilty about it, even though he tries hard to hide that from you and himself. He won't keep you tied up forever, and he's not going to isolate you from everyone. Ideally, he'll make your relationship seem normal. He wants you to genuinely fall for him someday. If that happens, or if you at least stop trying to escape from him, you'll go on dates and do pretty normal couple things. Eventually, you might be able to live a decent life with Len compared to some other yanderes.

[yanderes-galore]

could you write the yandere alphabet for Sans (Underfell)?

I can try, sure. Hope this came out well. Darling is implied to be human bur I kept it mostly vague.

Yandere Alphabet - UnderFell! Sans

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Possessive behavior, Violence, Jealousy, Isolation, Kidnapping, Murder mention, Stalking, Dubious/Forced relationship.

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

I don't think Sans shows his affection in an over the top way. Past all the edge he does express some sort of care. He expresses his obsession through protective/possessive behavior.

He can be intense just in general, especially when pursuing you.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

In a world where it's Kill or Be Killed, I imagine he wants to get messy. However, him using his powers makes him a target. So he may restrain most of his powers and kill in private.

The moment he snaps though? Everyone's in danger, perhaps even you.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

If he abducted you it's because he has either possessive or protective intentions. In terms of mocking you, yes. He probably mocks you at times.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

I'd say he would, yeah.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Sans is careful when showing vulnerability. In fact you'd rarely see it unless you two were really alone. Sans always looks intimidating and rarely slips from that.

The only time he's vulnerable around you is during a mental breakdown. Even then he can get volatile.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Amused for the most part. He is capable of restraining you but appreciates the fact you have some fight.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

A little for both, he does find it all amusing. Unless you get on his nerves

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

In UnderFell, there's a lot of bad experiences. In terms of Sans? Well...

A mental breakdown from him can release his powers, which could hurt you. An idea he loathes.

Even when he shows frustration, like when you refuse him, he may accidentally harm you. So... any moment that makes Sans lose control may be the worst experience

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He doesn't really care. He just knows he wants you to himself and wants to keep you away from Asgore.

Even if it means locking you away from everyone.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Yes he does get jealous. He wants to lash out but tries to soothe himself for the sake of keeping his powers hidden. Trust me, if he had his way?

He doesn't mind a bit of murder.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Protective and possessive. He is always around you in some way, just watching your journey. Others have a feeling he's taken a claim to you.

They can just tell with the way Sans' temper flares around others staring at you. In a way you are very safe... yet also in the most danger.

Because you befriended him he acts nice, but you should know what he's capable of.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He starts by just watching from a distance. When he feels like he can, he'll talk to you face to face. He's slow with his obsession until he feels rushed... like you being in danger.

If he feels your life is in danger, he'll step in. By step in... I mean he may abduct.

You're one of the only things that matters to him.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

A little, yeah, he's more caring with you.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

I would assume he would, but he has to be careful. If he disciplines you too much then he may break something. As much as his anger wants him to, he tries to stay away from physical punishment.

Stuff like isolation or restraints... something to keep you in place.

Although... push him too far and who knows what will happen.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

A lot, but to be fair, in a land where Asgore rules you didn't have many anyways.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Moderate patience, borders on impatient.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

With time... but he never really forgets you.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

A little but for the most part no, also no.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Childhood/His environment.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

He leaves you alone for the most part, he isn't good with comfort.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

More violent (?)

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Not any I can think of.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Unfortunately yes.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Not a worship yandere but would kill many for you.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

He can pine for awhile as long as he knows you're safe.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Yes.

[misc-obeyme]

Hey CC I have a question!

I'm tryna create my own character who is based on Beel. It has been years since I played Obey Me, I don't really remember Beel's or others personalities.

What I wanna focus more in his innocence, what makes him so naïve? Does expressing you're feelings for him or flirt with him work? Does seducing work on Beel? If It's MC or another person who likes Beel. What else could he be naïve for?

As I'm tryna out this innocence to my own character as for other traits between Beel and my OC are very different.

Hi there, anon!

Hmm. Well, in my opinion, Beel isn't exactly naive so much as he's just... willing to be vulnerable. And a lot of people read that as naive because it means he's putting himself out there, which could lead to him getting hurt. So I guess he's very truthful and honest with his feelings without being overly guarded of them. He wears his heart on his sleeve.

Expressing your feelings for him would definitely work. If you told him directly how you feel, without couching it in confusing language, that would actually make him very happy. Especially if he feels the same way. He'll tell you right then if he hasn't already.

Flirting will also work, but perhaps not too subtly. Beel isn't stupid, but he's also not likely to make assumptions about how you feel unless you express it clearly. It's less that he doesn't understand and more that he doesn't even register that flirting is happening because you haven't indicated to him clearly that you feel anything other than friendship for him. He doesn't try to read your mind or figure out how you're feeling. If you don't tell him, he assumes you don't feel that way. If he's uncertain, he'll ask you.

Seducing will also work. In this case, he might be flustered if you do it without indicating any kind of feelings previously. If he thinks you're just friends, he'll be confused by you trying to seduce him. He'll know what you're doing immediately, but it won't make sense to him. And in this case, he'll ask you about it, too. He might not ask you how you feel in that moment, but he might say something like, "Are you sure?" or "Is this what you want?" He's willing if you are, but he wants that clear reassurance. This guy doesn't do mind games.

What a lot of people see in Beel as innocence is really just honesty.

Because when it comes down to it, it's risky to be completely honest with how you feel or what you're thinking. You're always opening yourself up for potential hurt when you do that.

And by not being guarded, it makes it feel like Beel has never been hurt. Which in turn can make him seem innocent.

But we know that Beel has been hurt. He watched his own family turn on each other. And yet he's still able to be vulnerable, still able to take that risk.

I think it's because for Beel, that painful experience didn't teach him he has to protect himself. It taught him that he has to protect everyone else. And in his eyes, being honest with you will prevent you from potential hurt though misunderstanding. Even if it also leads to him being hurt.

And this is how he would be especially with MC who has earned his trust and friendship. That's a person he wants to protect. And if that means exposing himself to possible pain, he would do it willingly.

Wow anyway, not to get too into character analysis here, but this is how I characterize Beel. The game gives us the very edges of this, but this is how I've come to understand his character when writing it for myself. Hopefully it helps with your OC! Feel free to ask me more questions if you like, though!

[divorcemotif]

this is going to be kind of all over the place but I wanna look at how martin conceptualizes his loyalty to jon specifically in like, the changing contexts of the later seasons, ig. of all the fucked up martin thesis statement moments in mag 170, "always following, never leading" and how it's placed as a foundational part of his self-conception—within the structure of the episode & dream logic of the house—is the one that’s haunted me the most I think. this episode is in the context of his whole willful ignorance & rejection of choice thing going at this part of the show; he refuses to listen to the statements, or hear about his domain, or make the decision about going into jude’s domain when jon offers it to him directly. and his avoidant tendencies are central to the logic of this episode; the slipping away is enabled by his not wanting to examine things—about himself, about the world—because it’s easier.. “maybe the fog’s here because I want it here”; running away from another person in the house when trying to connect gets too difficult & overwhelming. and then his mantra at the climax of this episode sees him assuring himself that jon will find him, not that he will find jon; although getting out of the fog in this episode ends up being pretty textually thanks to his own willpower rather than jon’s abilities, framing jon as the active agent is what he always does.

it’s this interesting dynamic where “never leading” as an identity maybe isn’t something he likes about himself, but it’s something he’s resigned to, which he frames as intrinsic, and which he’s continually choosing in a lot of subtle ways. if he’s always fundamentally secondary and unimportant—to jon, relatively, to the universe—then there’s no responsibility for him to carry; he doesn't need to dwell on things that are uncomfortable. from a detached bystander's position he can freely make suggestions and criticize jon’s decisions, while evading responsibility for anything that actually happens. but of course, jon being the only vessel through which he has any power to interact with the world or gain information leaves him no influence further than what jon is willing to humour him—and jon is certainly ready to do things martin does not want him to do (or not do things which martin does want him to do) where their convictions diverge. for his own reasons, he can be as selective about what he tells martin as martin is evasive in what he asks.

there’s a pivotal emotional shift in the transition from s4 to s5 and the catharsis at the end of 159, where in a sense martin goes from one extreme to another—from isolating himself and cutting jon out to accepting dependence on jon pretty absolutely, in ways that are exacerbated by the context of the fear apocalypse. but ofc in another sense it’s consistent; even if his decisions in season 4 were made in isolation and jon wasn't involved—or was even actively opposed to them—everything martin did was still about jon somehow, ideologically, which is what doesn’t change going into season 5. the idea he expresses multiple times, in 170 and in season 4, that he’s been alone on a fundamental level his whole life (the line “it’s just me. always has been” in 158 actually connecting his loneliness to the independence of his motivations, wrt his betrayal of peter lukas) is not a contradiction with the idea that he’s always been “following”; the incredibly isolating experience of being his abusive mum's carer having made caring for others—commitment, loyalty—something he’s practiced at doing from an emotional distance, and he’s not used to navigating a reciprocal relationship at all (when they're together martin's selective about sharing his insecurities with jon while expecting jon to make a constant effort to be more vulnerable with him, and doesn’t seem to register this hypocrisy).

and like, from the early seasons most of the major things he does for jon—running into the tunnels in 79; staying with him in the storage closet in 39; returning to carlos vittery's basement in 22, if that counts; generally bringing him tea and pestering him to eat—were always based more in his own ideas of what jon needed/would respond to, than anything jon was or was not asking of him (jon was not singling him out in this regard). so season 4 was not out of line in that respect. and in the final conflict at the end of season 5 he's still making his position about jon, about what's best for him, even though what he and jon want has diverged.

it's in some ways an evasive thing, focusing on jon—whether trying to influence jon’s actions or centring jon in his own—but you also get this kind of muddying of cause and justification. being unable on a fundamental level to conceive of himself as an active player in his own right—wanting things but not knowing how to approach the responsibility that would be implicitly accepted in pursuing them, either by himself or for himself; I think it's a big part of his “it’s not a betrayal if you’re doing it to help” philosophy, where ultimately his loyalty to jon as he conceives it can manifest in going actively against jon’s wishes

[hetagrammy]

do you have any thoughts about Wales with the pacific siblings?

Wales my beloved, and oft overlooked (including by me). I honestly need to look more into Welsh emigration/history, but I do have some inklings about their interactions. Character-wise, I think that Alwyn was typically there to pick up the slack that Arthur left behind when he had to go abroad or was otherwise occupied with matters of state. Hazards of being your brother's confidante.

So for Alfred... how about those Welsh Quakers? Alwyn adored the chubby, occasionally sickly, little bean Arthur brought home just as much as anyone. I think that was compounded by the fact that Arthur was so emotionally attached to and open with Alfred when he was a baby. Alfred was a little ray of sunshine, and I think the idealism that came so naturally to him was endearing to Alwyn. Like in Ireland, the aftermath of the American Revolution actually inspired some nationalist sentiment in Wales and a lot of Welsh people moved to areas like Pennsylvania. As for Alfred, I think he loves Alwyn of course, but I don't think he exactly appreciated Alwyn in the way that he probably should have. He was loving and warm, but who in his childhood wasn't? I think it was lost on Alfred how much actual parenting/co-parenting Alwyn had to do behind the scenes, as well as the amount of influence he had on him.

Apparently the Welsh had a big hand in building up Canada during the 19th century, and I feel like that's indicative of the relationship between the two. Definitely won't underplay the influence that Alasdair had on Matthew, but I think that Alwyn was able to act as a good guide for him as well. In a family that has trouble expressing vulnerability in earnest ways, Alwyn is probably the most well-adjusted, and I think that Matthew would be drawn to that as someone who is more sensitive himself. I think that Matthew finds Alwyn can relate to him best as well, as they serve as family peacekeepers (especially on Arthur's behalf), and tend to fade into the background because they serve that role. They're both diplomats who will kick ass when pushed, and I like to think that Alwyn had a role in that. Sitting a young Matthew down and telling him "Taking the path of least resistance doesn't mean putting up no resistance." Where Alasdair acts as a protector and Arthur as a stern father, Alwyn is a role model. I think he's also one of the few not to underestimate Matthew.

Alwyn was indulgent with Ralph in way he wasn't really getting from anyone except for Molly and Matthew, which was further complicated by Molly's long stay in America post 1851 and Matthew's prolonged periods in Canada post 1848. Alwyn is smiling and nodding when little Ralph is showing him pictures of lizards from his homeland and asking if he can show him any dragons in return. I think their shared love of animals was a big bonding point for them, with Alwyn being willing to take him out and about in the woods or mountains to go birdwatching or exploring. Sure British fauna isn't so exciting as Australian fauna is, but it was something to give Ralph some entertainment and intellectual stimulation.

Alwyn is Zee's favorite uncle and I will stand by that. Eleanor takes a lot after Arthur what with the grumpiness, the practicality, the bluntness, the obstinance. That's something Alwyn understands very well having been around Arthur for so long. However, she's more down to earth, curious, and forward-thinking than Arthur could ever hope to be, and I think that Alwyn makes a better attempt to understand that than Arthur does at times. Arthur doesn't understand her, but he indulges her, Alwyn indulges her but also tries to understand. Eleanor in turn appreciates this, and she finds him to be a stable and comforting presence who lets her just be herself. I also think their shared love of rugby is definitely a strong bonding point as well.

I guess the ongoing theme here is that Alwyn is a person who operates off of understanding what makes people tick, and using that knowledge to make people comfortable. He's a diplomat at heart, and he's at his best when using those skills with the people he cares about. Rather than piling expectations on his niblings, he's there to sort of guide them through how best to fulfil those expectations from where they are.

[misfithive]

Thank you for the way you handled that ask about Wille's and Simon's drama. Because that sentence 'On the other hand, Simon needs to have a bit of more drama thrown at him' made me so furious. It was so insensitive! The fact that he suffers in silence and alone in his room not to bother other people doesn't mean he doesn't suffer enough and needs some more! The fact that he didn't jump on the table or say he feels like dying doesn't make his experience any less traumatic than Wille's. What he needs is to process his trauma rather than brushing it aside, not to get some more.

Once again thank you, you put it all beautifully.

Yes 😭 this is a very common hope for Simon to get pushed to the point of a breakdown but it’s like .. at what cost?😩 He has been thru enough trauma for a lifetime and a half. And the thing is, most people cannot actually stop and process the trauma if they are constantly being hit with more. I think we are more likely to get simon opening up if he is able to find safety which he did not really have. he is expected to be the strong one by everyone in his life. His friends try their best but still, telling him to rebound is the same message him mother gives him of “you are strong”. Bc they dont want him to sit with his feelings and cry (it’s uncomfortable and not the norm for them), they want him to forget about the Prince and move on. Up until s3 he has not had someone to cry to- thats why he writes his songs and holds wille’s sweater. Even when he is talking to Rosh and Ayub in the kitchen if he was actually crying to them i feel they would show it- it appears he probably cried on the way home before they came (this is my hc if yall think he cried to them u can believe that if u want)

i think Simon’s character is very accurate to what a lot of men, people socialized as men, and also people of color experience and how we deal with our emotions. I get that for a lot of people it is cathartic to sob but for many of us, crying like that especially in front of someone else is terrifying. we are conditioned that letting other people see u in that vulnerable state is a weakness (puts you in danger or will be used against you & that anger is safer). I know some men who have not cried since they were children and told me they dont even remember what it feels like to cry or how to actually let the tears fall from their eyes. It is messed up. Is that fair? No. Is it true that it is a weakness? No. But not everyone learns that. The patriarchy sucks and harms us all lol i wish people would understand that and have empathy for the deep sadness that simon is carrying and hiding whether he lets it out or not.

Not to mention everyone deals with their trauma differently and i think it is cool that the show is realistic and shows people dealing with things in different ways. Simons character is relatable bc of this and instead of people saying “it’s not fair that Wille gets to express himself in this way and Simon doesn’t” i want people to think about WHY Simon is not be able to. I know wanting simon to cry comes from a good place but it does upset me a little bit bc even if he doesnt have a breakdown s3, that doesnt mean that the writers hate him and arent doing his story justice which is what people say abt s2. At the same time, if he does have a break down, that would be totally warranted. i'm just saying that if it doesn't happen that's valid too.

THAT BEING SAID. I think s3 is a great opportunity for Simon to hear from Wille that he doesnt always have to be strong and that Wille can be a reliable safe space. I think Wille’s tenderness is something that Simon sees and now that they are on good terms and Wille has worked to rebuild the trust, I hope Simon will turn to Wille for emotional support however that looks.

Ermmmn I’m very sorry that this turned into a dump but i had to get it off my chest.(made a few edits for clarity and spelling mistakes bc i posted this in the middle of the night)

[bagelsunshinecoffee]

Season 2 Chris and Chim comparing surgeries. Chim waking up in the hospital after his stabbing and Chris is the only one there, he escaped from his dad to go see Chim. Chim saying “i guess I’m catching up to you.” Chris telling him not to eat the hospital meatloaf cause that’s how he lost a tooth.

People love to say Chris is eternally optimistic and an “angel” (don’t even get me started on the infantilization) and I agree that he has a truly sweet, caring temperament and enormous capacity for joy. But I’m fascinated by the ways he actually mirrors his dad and, in a lot of ways, Chimney. Especially as the seasons go on and his trauma increases he deflects from vulnerability more. Like Chim he puts on a smile and makes it easy not to notice what’s going on under the surface until he reaches a crisis point.

I love the two of them connecting, seeing something in each other. It also opens an interesting question that the show doesn’t really explore, which is the disability narrative in the teams’ constant injuries. What is it like from Chris’s perspective to watch these people grapple with injury and healing when they put such a high value on what their bodies can do, and especially when Buck expresses feelings of worthlessness after his leg is crushed and he can’t do his job? When he pushes himself too far because he can’t stand being unable to do something physically? And what lingering effects of the teams’ injuries do we not see? Does Chim have any cognitive issues after the rebar incident? Do Buck and Eddie struggle with lingering pain they never mention?

Eddie brings Chris to Buck when Buck is struggling with his injury both because that relationship is healing for him and also to show him that “Chris never complains.” Even the people who love Chris the most fall into narratives that reinforce the idea that Chris’s disability is a tragedy/thing to be overcome and that Chris is special because he is never frustrated or sad. Kids are really perceptive. They pick up on that stuff. How much of Chris’s “positive” attitude comes from the pressure to perform it?

This isn’t meant as negativity to any of these characters, but definitely some fascinating flaws and questions that go semi-unexplored in the show and are often ignored in fandom.

Getting back to the original point that is why I love the moments between Chris and Chim. There’s a glimpse of something there, and understanding that I would love to see explored more. Two people who experience medicalization from different perspectives, feel a sense of outsider-ness that they won’t admit to, hide their vulnerability behind cheer and humor. Buck and Eddie never joke about (or even really acknowledge) their familiarity with hospitals. Chim is saying hey, actually we have something in common. He’s willing to identify himself, to some degree, with disability.

I didn’t realize how obsessed I was with Chim as a character until this rewatch. Part of it is also that Kenneth Choi is a really good actor that brings such nuance to the character. I think Gavin McHugh does that as well, especially for a child actor.

Give me more of that Chris and Chimney love!!

[timetravelersdoctor]

What does the TFP autobots and TFA autobots reaction on each other?

Thank you for the Ask! This is going to be a long post so enjoy reading! (For the Tfa Team I'm not going to put their reactions to all the Tfp Autobots just a select few since there are so many of them)

TFP Optimus: Optimus is first thought of Tfa Optimus is that he is very young and inexperienced but when he sees Tfa Optimus spar with his team he realizes that Tfa Prime is more than capable to lead his team to any victory he sets his mind to, But he notices that Tfa prime has a lot of self doubt and self worth issues, Tfp prime is determined to help him. When Optimus sees Tfa Bumblebee he is reminded of how Tfp Bee used to be, he's glad that the Tfa war didn't make Tfa Bumblebee lose himself. He sees a survivor in Tfa Ratchet and would be more then willing to hear him talk about how the first Tfa War was. Tfp Prime likes Prowls calming presence and enjoys listening to him talk about earth's nature. Tfa Bulkhead impresses him with his knowledge on space bridges and his artistic side.

TFP Ratchet: Ratchet doesn't like hanging around Tfa prime for to long because he reminds him to much of Orion Pax, not that he'll ever tell Tfa Prime that. Whenever he hears Tfa Bumblebee speak he is reminded of his supposed failure to help Tfp Bumblebee but he'll let the young adult talk his audio sensors off anyways. Tfa Bulkhead is his favorite because he doesn't hide any injuries. Ratchet tends to Hang around Prowl whenever he need quietness. Him and Tfa Ratchet do not get along well they clash heads to often for many reasons. one of which is the fueling situation ( if you know, you know)

TFP Bulkhead: He doesn't know how to handle knowing that Tfa Optimus is younger then him and how vulnerable he can be. Bulkhead is very surprised at how talkative Tfa Bumblebee is and he would get annoyed if it wasn't for the fact that he's just glad this Bee still has his voice. He is a little jealous of Tfa Bulkhead being smarter than him but thinks his art is awesome. Tfa Prowl makes him a little uncomfortable due to his quiet nature so he doesn't know how to act around him. Bulkhead sees Tfa Ratchet as a grumpier version of Tfp Ratchet.

TFP Bumblebee: Bee thinks it's a little jarring to see Tfa Optimus act the way he does because he's used to Tfp Prime acting more like a mentor than a big brother/ father figure. Tfp Bumblebee finds that as talkative as he used to be Tfa Bumblebee is far more talkative but he likes that about him. He likes Bulkheads artistic side and enjoys watching him and Tfa Bumblebee interact. He enjoys being able to talk with Prowl as he is unbothered by how Bee speak ( he doesn't ask questions). Bumblebee likes that Tfa Ratchet takes slag from no one.

TFP Arcee: Arcee doesn't understand how Tfa Optimus can be so calm about what was done to him for something that wasn't his fault. She thinks he should be angry but he's not. Tfa Bumblebee annoys her very much due to his need to make jokes but she does her best to tolerate it. (she does well most of the time) She's surprised to see Tfa Bulkhead being conscious about his accidental destructiveness and is impressed that he expresses himself through art. When Arcee learns what Alt mode Prowl has she challenges him to a race but neither of them will admit to who the winner was. She doesn't understand why Tfa Ratchet avoids her and when she confronts him she respects his need for space after learning why.

TFP Smokescreen: He challenges Tfa Optimus to a spar only to get his aft kicked, Smokescreen is determined to win against him one day. Smokescreen and Bumblebee get along well... a little to well they're pranking everyone. He likes to paint with Bulkhead even if he can't do it well he tries. He likes to chat with Prowl every once in a while and when he learns that Prowl is a cyber-ninja he asks him to teach him some moves. Smokescreen finds out why the Tfa team respects Tfa Ratchet the hard way.

TFA Optimus: Tfa Optimus is shocked that Tfp Optimus is the entire Autobots leader he has no idea how Tfp Prime Handles it all. He finds Tfp Ratchet to be a stubborn person that seemingly only tolerates him and his team. Tfp Smokescreen reminds Tfa Prime of his younger self from before the incident he hopes that Smokescreen never loses his spunk.

TFA Ratchet: Tfa Ratchet recognizes the affects of war in Tfp Optimus immediately and he decides to make him take a nap. He absolutely does not like Tfp Ratchet due to Tfp's stupid decisions regarding the fuel situation because even if he understands why, he knows that what Tfp Ratchet has done isn't right. Seeing Tfp Bumblebee makes him appreciate the fact that Tfa Bee still has his voice. Tfa Ratchet sees Tfp Bulkhead as a very strong individual.

TFA Bumblebee: Tfa Bee immediately want's to race Tfp Bumblebee. He thinks that Smokescreen is pretty cool and wants to spar with him. He thinks Tfp Arcee is someone who will do what it takes to protect her friends. Bee is a little weirded out at the difference between Tfa Bulkhead and Tfp Bulkhead.

TFA Bulkhead: He is in Awe at how Tfp Bulkhead is unbothered at the thought of only being good at breaking things (which isn't exactly true). Tfp Ratchet scares him a little because he is a 'younger version' of Tfa Ratchet. Tfa Bulkhead is surprised at how professional Tfp Prime is compared to Tfa Prime. He sees Tfp Bumblebee as a lesser excitable version of Tfa Bee and wants to help Tfp Bee have fun.

TFA Prowl: Prowl sees Tfp Primes need for peace and quiet and immediately offers to teach him some meditation techniques. He greatly enjoyed the race with Arcee but refuses to tell anyone who won the race. He is caught off guard when Smokescreen asks him to train him but after some consideration he agrees. Prowl understands that sometimes Tfp Bumblebee needs someone to talk to that won't ask about his voice so he becomes that person.

[lilithh6]

“I will have you without your armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”

Or, in other words, Amita’s brilliant performance as Inej.

I keep seeing people praising Freddy’s spot-on performance in season 2 (he embodies Kaz Brekker just as I pictured him reading the books, there’s no denying he is the perfect Bastard of the Barrel), but I don’t see enough love for my gal Amita!!! Her Inej is the perfect counterpart to Freddy’s Kaz, and, even though her trauma is far from being explored as deeply as Brekker’s, Amita manages to shine through in all of her scenes. Especially in this particular one.

To be honest, the scene on the show is not quite like I pictured it in the book. To put things into perspective, in the book that conversation happens after Inej confesses that she’s going to learn how to sail and set off to hunt slavers, right near the end of the first book. 

“Purpose”, Kaz said thoughtfully.

I think that sets the tone of the scene. Inej has found her purpose, a goal beyond survival and freedom. When Kaz takes her hand and asks her to stay in Ketterdam with him, we can peer into her internal monologue. It doesn’t matter how much she wants to say yes, she won’t settle for what he is willing to offer. And so throughout the whole conversation, Inej doesn’t hesitate. By no means is she harsh or lashing out or even angry, she has just accepted that she won’t have a relationship with someone who won’t meet her in the middle. 

Maybe it was because his back was to her that she could finally speak the words. “I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.”

He’s not even looking at her when she says the words. After the tiny bread crumbs of vulnerability that he just gave her, he can’t even bear to look at her when she expresses her wishes. In fact, throughout the scene Kaz is described in a sharp tone (his voice rough stone, with eyes fierce, the face he wore when he was fighting). Inej is not going to settle for this rough façade he’s built around himself. In her mind, she begs for him to say something so she can believe that the boy who saved her is worth saving as well, but Kaz is at the very beginning of his evolution as a character. 

Now, on the show, we obviously can’t know what’s going through Inej’s mind, so it’s on Amita’s performance to show us how difficult this conversation is for Inej, not just for Kaz, how she wishes for him to say anything that will show her she’s wrong, that he is willing to take off his gloves (both physically and emotionally) for her. To me, this makes the whole scene a lot lot more softer in an amazing way, and her speech becomes so raw, natural and realistic. The little hesitancy before touch in “so our lips never touch”, the sighs, the way she finally says the quote with the softest softest softest eyes ever? Perfection. The way she holds still once she’s done, looking into his eyes, waiting for him to say something that will prove her wrong.. and then he just gives a tiny nod and you can see the acceptance in her face but also the slight disappointment. 

However, this difference in tone isn’t only influenced by the change in medium. If we take into account the context of the show compared to the book, show-Kaz has started to evolve further compared to book-Kaz during this same conversation. The change is a subtle one, but I think show-Kaz has showed many more of his cards regarding how much he actually cares for Inej, even if it’s in his own emotionally-constipated way. By this point he’s already managed to freed her from her indenture, he’s already sort of tended to her wounds and, right before this conversation, he even confesses that he has been secretly trying to find her brother for her (which are all parallels to Crooked Kingdom scenes). To compare his attitude with his book counterpart in the specific scene, book-Kaz won’t even look at her once he realises she’s kinda rejecting him, but show-Kaz, though he struggles, always end up looking right back at her. He is looking right into her eyes as she states what she wants. 

And so she knows that he’s willing to do a lot of things for her, but is he willing to be in a relationship that’s not entirely on his terms?

I think that’s my main difference between the show and the book. In the books it feels like Inej is stating facts (this is what a relationship with you would actually be like, that is not what I want even if I love you) while hoping that he’ll give her a reason to stay. However, in the show it feels more like she’s asking a question (is a relationship with you going to be like this? because I love you but that is not what I want) while knowing that the answer is not going to be the one she wishes.