#he's a demon he lies

[drconstellation]

The Newton/Crowley Mirror-Parallel in S1

Future Echoes from the Past #2

Let me take a moment to try and explain the process of how I approach meta writing. I’m not new to this. I might be new to this fandom, but I’ve been writing metas for twenty years in other fandoms. I’m an old hand at this, and I learnt how to do it with some pretty critical masters of the game. I’ve been wrestling with this meta for several days, which never a good sign. I thought I was on the right track here but got to a point where I was trying to make my biased square blocks fit into the round holes I was expecting to see, and they weren’t, and thought, nope, it’s time to back off and see what is there instead. When things don’t fall and click into place, when you can’t see the next connection easily, when it becomes too convoluted - and actually, I think some of the story is missing in the crucial places - that's a dead end for the time being, so the meta I was expecting (and hoping) to see didn’t emerge. But there is still something there to be revealed, and it was from a bit that I didn't think had much importance.

A few days ago I posted a meta about how the paintball fight at Tadfield Manor was a loose re-creation of the Great War in Heaven that lead to the formation of Heaven and Hell. It was more a description of events and the two sides, and I didn’t assign any of the S1 characters to the celestial characters that we would have expected to be involved with the rebellion. For example, the manager Nigel strikes me as standing in for Gabriel, and jaded old Norman, who is on the verge of retirement, and who organized the “team building exercise” is most likely to be Lucifer  - he is the leader of the Yellow team, who are quite unhappy and full of complaints about the others in the office. But other than those two, the other bit players amongst our regular cast were missing, or unclear. And this was a problem, a BIG problem, because while there hints to who was Crowley, the match to Aziraphale was nowhere to be seen, and he should be there. So, let’s leave that for the time being, and move on.

In the middle of all this is Newton Pulsifer. He oddly arrives in the office, destroys the electrical system, then leaves before the war begins. And there is an even odder follow-up exchange in the car park of the office as he departs. I had to ask why - why add this in?

[It should be noted, at this point in the discussion, that while the paintball fight was written in the original book, the office scene that is the prelude to the fight, and the scenes with Newt that I’m about to discuss, weren’t. They are from the tv series only.]

I have been building up a library of notes and screenshots to help me with my metas, and Newt and Anathema have been on my radar. I came across this screen shot of Newt lying on Anathema’s bed after his accident in Tadfield and went “Huh, he looks very Crowley-coded there with this black/grey clothes and yellow and red socks. That’s not the line I of thought I had been following..”

I kept going and then @ennas-aesthetic posted this meta about Jesus in S3 and mentioned that Anathema was an Aziraphale parallel, so that would make Newt a corresponding Crowley parallel – which would explain the screen shot mentioned. Then the final pieces for this meta were these two posts, one from @mouseonamoose about their thoughts on angel!Crowley and one from @cornchrunchie on part of the exchange between Aziraphale and angel!Crowley in Before the Beginning, at the start of S2E1. I’d already had a thought about another set of lines in this part that formed a parallel to Newt, but getting a second set of lines to tie it in to this S1E2 segment was a bonus, I must say.

So where am I going with all this rambling? Right. Let’s get down to business.

Hopefully by now I’ve established that one of Newt’s roles in the office scene that sets up the rebellion is to be not just a parallel to Crowley, but a mirror – he’s kind of the opposite, in a way. It’s like they are on opposite sides of the looking glass.

At the beginning of S2E1 we are shown angel!Crowley, the Starmaker – the Engineer. And what is Newt supposed to be? A computer engineer. Only, angel!Crowley engineers light, while Newt engineers darkness. Everywhere Newt goes, he turns out the lights. Which is why when he runs into Shadwell shortly after and is given the newspaper advert that declares “ASSISTANT REQUIRED TO COMBAT THE FORCES OF DARKNESS” if he joins the Witchfinder Army that I was cackling at the irony of this. Perhaps we’d better not get sidetracked with that though.

There’s a critical point here that I’d like to highlight that I noticed, and how I made the link, because it may have implications in the future, maybe in S3. In Before the Beginning, Crowley sets everything up to get the nebula started, then there is a slight pause.

Az: …is something meant to happen? Cr: Oh, right, sorry, yes yes. Knew I'd missed one. Let there be light.

It struck me that Newt’s efforts in making anything with electricity, the modern source of light, don’t work because he doesn’t check that he’s got everything right. He blacks out his neighborhood as a child without checking the circuits, he shuts down the entire office without checking his work.

Why would you need both light and dark? You can't really have one without the other. It's the yin and yang. Its balance. To see the light you need darkness. And to see shadows you need light.

So we get a short scene of Newt heading off to office, with his Almighty mother handing out some lunch rations, and wishing him luck. Hmm. He’s holding a box that contains, amongst various things, a pot plant (a bromeliad) with a deep red flower, for all love. Ngggkgk.

At the office, Newt is given the cold shoulder by the senior co-worker opposite him (I call her “Pearls,” because I don’t have the S1 script book and I’m not sure what she’s called.) She asks his name, but never offers hers. Sounds familiar, where have we seen that before…?

Az: Um, hello. I'm Aziraphale. Cr: Nice meeting you. Okay, here goes!

@mouseonamoose mentions that angel!Crowley wouldn't feel the need to mention his name if he was a high ranking angel here, he would expect other angels to know who he was. [op adds another item to their list of pointers to angel!Crowley being a senior Archangel...it's up to 18, btw. Yes, I know its only fanon at the moment...] Just like the Supreme Archangel "fucking" Gabriel hasn't got time for a bit of social chit-chat before Aziraphale!Crowley is supposed to be executed in the hellfire in S1E6. Just get on it with it, pleb! We've got better things to do with our time!

Outside, we see Newt has been given his marching orders. He's leaving already. A sharply dressed woman in a masculine-cut suit approaches quickly. I don't know about you, but she looks like a demon to me. Black suit, red hair, pink (which is a tint of red) shirt - she's a copy of Crowley. This is another Crowley-copy about to give some internal criticism to a Crowley-mirror.

"Need a hand, Dick?"

Then she power-walks past. Newt is not even worth her time stopping for.

*Snort* - and ouch. That's a below-the belt joke.

She's just called him a wanker. In the US you might use the term jerk instead. Someone who's a bit egotistical and more in it for themselves than others. (and I never thought I'd be fact-checking the meaning of this word ever, but there's always a first time...) She's basically just equated him Gabriel, in my book (and in more ways than one.)

That doesn't sound like the Crowley we know, does it? Maybe, maybe not - but it does reveal to us a world of information about what the other demons think about Crowley, and more importantly perhaps it gives a hint of what he was like pre-Fall and why he was cast out as a sacrifice for the team, a scapegoat and example for the losing faction, in addition to the asking of questions reason.

It's quite notable that Crowley doesn't have any other demon friends or allies, even after 6000 years. Plus, he seems to have gotten special treatment during that time. Furfur complains about this in the dressing room in 1941, remarking :

"No, what's ridiculous is demons like you doing what they please. And somehow still getting on, while demons like me graft for hundreds and hundreds of millennia and never get a sniff of a promotion! Well, not this time. Expect a Legion to come for you first thing tomorrow. Enjoy your last night on Earth."

Hastur calls him "Mr Slick," and thinks he's been up on the surface of the Earth too long. And you kind of get the idea that Lord Beelzebub is holding back their hand somewhat in their conversation in S2E1 when they summon Crowley down to Hell for a little chat about the missing Gabriel.

CROWLEY: [waving flies away] Augh. Oh, I thought we had a [spits out flies] generalized understanding. BEELZEBUB: We don't. You're still a traitor. I could put a price on your head any time I wanted to.

But they haven't put a price on Crowley's head. And they don't intend to. Crowley is still being given the special treatment. Also in that particular conversation is a hint that he was once on a similar footing to Beelzebub, and Beelzebub was also a high ranking angel before the Fall - they aren't Grand Duke of Hell and Satan's right-hand demon for no reason.

Its ever-so subtle, but its there. Those traces of privilege we were pointing out that Gabriel and Beelzebub flaunt when they abscond? Once upon a time Crowley had them too. But the passing millennia has slowly worn them away until we can barely see the traces of it. Although, it still shows up occasionally.

We should finish off the scene back in S1E2 with Newt, though, because he does show us s little bit more of our mirror-Crowley in the car park scene. As the demon-lady walks past him he calls after her:

"My name's not actually Dick, it’s the car's name. You can ask me why if you like."

Aww. Poor Newt. While Crowley was stopped from asking questions, and cast from Heaven because he wanted to ask questions, his mirror-character Newt is offering to answer questions for other people. It's just that they aren't interested in doing that either. Either way, the conversation stops, doesn't it.

To finish off, I'm going to leave you with this. I know, its about Newt not being a computer engineer, but since we've been discussing how Newt is a mirror-parallel to Crowley, perhaps it's something we need to tuck away in the back of our minds for S3 as well, when the past comes back to haunt us.

Further reading in this series:

#1: The Great War of Tadfield Manor

#3: "Not Even At Gunpoint!"

[drconstellation]

Oh he definitely remembers both Furfur and Saraqael. He's playing power games here, but two different ones.

The one with Furfur is interesting, and I did a post about it here. It has some interesting implications for S3 around possible betrayal, and the iteration of the King Arthur/Camelot theme that is lurking in the background. Recall there is an odd out-of-place Agnes Nutter prophecy that might be related to this as well, peeps. Ah - this one:

Prophecy 3011: "The exer... and churches be laid open to ... oppressed shall prevail, and oppose the cruelty of foreigners. For a Boar of Cornwall shall give his assistance, and trample their necks under his feet."

Not sure exactly what it means, a but apparently the "Boar of Cornwall" relates to King Arthur. In the dressing room scene, Furfur is Arthur, the one being betrayed in the love-triangle. This accounts for some of his bitterness, but yes, he is also bitter at Crowley's professional success - which then raises a whole bunch of other questions connected to the conversation Crowley has with Beelzebub in S2E1 on the two thrones, or even just deepens the implications that one gets out of that conversation there.

The interaction with Saraqael links her with the dark horse theme. in S2. While there are big arrows pointing to Aziraphale being a "dark horse," there are other minor dark horses doing odd things here and there, such as the Marley horse statue in the book shop and the Dirty Donkey pub. I think most meta writers have settled on Saraqael being a helping hand in Heaven in an unexpected way in S3. Look how they helped Crowley, by not setting the alarms off that he was there and letting him see what he essentially came to find out - the only alarms that were set off were by Aziraphale doing his halo toss back on Earth.

The gravity conversation is pure forgetfulness, it was so long ago. Forgive him that one, at least.

Crowley’s Memory of Saraqael and Furfur

There’s a distinct parallel to be drawn from Crowley’s interactions with both Saraqael and Furfur. Both times, Crowley pretends that he doesn’t know who they are. Both times, the opposite party explains who they are to him in detail. But what are the differences?

Furfur. Furfur comes into the dressing room with just Crowley and Aziraphale. He tells Aziraphale that they’ve never met, but Crowley has met him. Furfur explains to Crowley that they were in the same legion before the Fall. Crowley says that he remembers going into battle, but not going into battle with Furfur. Furfur becomes agitated and explains how they fought together. Then says that it doesn’t matter, because Crowley broke the Infernal Code by consorting with an angel. Then the rest of the scene ensues. But why did Crowley say that he didn’t remember Furfur?

It was the only power that Crowley could show in the situation. If he lashed out immediately then Furfur knows for certain that he’s guilty. If Crowley acts like he doesn’t remember Furfur then it could be plausible that he didn’t know that Aziraphale was an angel. It’s plausible deniability. His status in Hell also helps with this. From what we know the lower demons wants to be him and the higher demons are annoyed by him. The lower demons know that he gets to work on Earth, almost for himself, but the higher ups don’t like that he acts indifferent and can be quite arrogant. So when Furfur comes saying that he’s broken some rules, Too Cool For Hell-Crowley starts answering, “Who are you? I can’t even remember who you are. How was I supposed to know he was an angel? Who cares?”

Saraqael. The first thing that Saraqael does is answer Crowley’s question to Muriel about Gabriel’s trial which he hadn’t even started to ask yet. They say his chosen name and then say that they didn’t think that they would ever see him again(not too affectionately but not hateful either). Crowley says that he doesn’t know them and it seems genuine. Saraqael says ‘when you were an angel; we worked together on the Horsehead Nebula.’ During this statement, they’re almost smiling, but then he answers that he meets a lot of people whilst laughing, and this annoys them(similar to Gabriel later). But did he actually remember them or not? If he doesn’t, why pretend?

I think Crowley remembers who they are after they mention the Horsehead Nebula. Simply, because he laughs. At first, he looked like there was a blank, but of course, a nebula would trigger his memory. If he remembers them or not, he has two options: tell them he knows them or tell them he doesn’t. Pretending that he remembered them would maybe give Saraqael a reason to trust him. If they trust him, maybe they will let him look at the file anyway. If he does the opposite, pretend he doesn’t know them(or maybe he really didn’t), then it almost looks more honest and trustworthy. For some reason, most of the angels don’t take the time to remember them whether Crowley knows that or not, up for debate. But if he really wanted to get into the file, then wouldn’t the best way to be making a friend like he did with Aziraphale? But for some reason, he knows that it isn’t. Because I really do think that if he had told them that he had remembered, they wouldn’t have believed him. I think either way, they were going to let him into the file. The archangels believed that Crowley and Aziraphale had more information. Yes, he got himself into the file and all that, but Saraqael didn’t try to smite him, and that means that he chose right.

Between these two interactions, Crowley acts very differently to the two people involved. To Furfur, he acts indifferent, but also agitated. He’s wearing his hat to his brow with his glasses on and he keeps his legs turned away from him. To Saraqael, he looks them in the eyes with glasses that are quite light, comparatively. He doesn’t turn away and he stays engaged. He even laughs. The first thing that Furfur brings up the War and the Fall. Two things I don’t believe Crowley likes to remember. The first thing Saraqael does is answer questions and reminds him about stars(some of Crowley’s favorite things). They don’t bring up the War or the Fall or even Eden. They bring up the fact that they worked together on the stars. I think he respected them for that.

So does he remember them? I think so. I think maybe that he was drawing a blank on Saraqael, because from what we see in Before The Beginning, Crowley was very absorbed in his work. So he might would need some specifics to help him out. Furfur, on the other hand, he might not have remembered, because he blocked him out, because he tried to block the Fall and the War out. Either way, it was plausible deniability on his part. My main reason for his memory being intact(perfect?no) is Muriel and Gabriel. When Gabriel is in the bookshop with just Crowley, they talked about gravity and he said that it seemed like a good idea when “we” were all talking about it. He also knows Muriel’s rank and class without them ever mentioning it prior. He also knows exactly what their job entails. He also remembers where Gabriel was pulling those lines from when he would “wake” up. Crowley seems like he has a handle on his memories. Now, could there be something wrong with them or did something happen to them? Were they fixed? Maybe, he walled some of them off like humans do. Either way, I’m excited to find out.

[dead-girl-tells-stories]

DC x DP Idea

After several years, Danny and Damian meet each other again at a gala. But there was no heartfelt reunion since the moment they led eyes on each other it was all-out war. Damian takes out a sword from somewhere and Danny just starts throwing hands.

The fighting is intense, and blood is being spilled (what are those glowing green specks?). They are screaming at each other in Arabic as it's easier to slip back to your mother tongue when in rage right? This makes the fight more personal.

Most people don't understand what they're saying but those who do look at the boys then Bruce. Bruce then back to the boys again. Like B, we know you're stupid but you fucked this person twice.... did you NOT see the red flags the SECOND TIME!?!?

The fight ends with Damian on the ground with the sword grazing his neck. He looks up to Danyal with the fear of god in his eyes, knowing that with one swift movement, he'll be dead on the dance floor. But Danny's eyes were cold and tired, they were dead. No spark, no sense of life in those chilling blue depths.

Calmly, Danny spoke to Damian. His voice was crystal clear, cool like a mountain stream.

"Just because you jumped into the fire behind me doesn't mean you felt the pain I did.  Your hand was held above the flames while I was being burnt in the fucking fire."

Damian begins to cry because he knows that Danny is right. No matter what he went through, it would never compare to what happened to his big brother. Even more so, when he feels long lanky arms wrap around him, a cool hand rubbing his back soothingly, and whispers of sweet nothingness entering his ears.

He cries because no matter what he does he will never be like his big brother.

[clownowo]

🤨

bonus:

[tk-duveraun]

During his Abyss mourning years, SY manages to travel by himself to watch the migration of Demonic Purple Liege Butterflies, so he's just out in a field when a tear in reality opens up and LBH falls out, broken, beaten, slightly charred and fresh out of the Abyss

SY is, sadly, a deeply stupid man and instead of running cleans him up and nurses him back to health in the cottage he's rented to watch the migration. Maybe he's waving his own death flags, but what is he supposed to do? Leave LBH to suffer more?

Imagine his surprise when LBH wakes up and cries with joy to be reunited with his Shizun and home(ish)

He doesn't remember how he fell into the abyss

[mutantfactor]

Fangs of Fortune 𓆩𓆪 Zhuo Yichen & Zhao Yuanzhou

[azfellco]

Me right now

[starry-bi-sky]

Who is the more well-adjusted twin; Damian, or Danyal? Why, it's Damian, of course!

And I have an explanation for this! But first I wanna preface this that this is just me like, rambling about this thought I have and it's not an attack on the trope as a whole. I love the Danyal Al Ghul au which is why i'm so deeply passionate about it, because I think it has a lot of potential to be explored. It's no secret that I've mentioned before that I think Danny's psychological development tends to get overlooked and underutilized in DAG aus, and the impact that growing up in an assassin league often goes ignored. This is just me further expanding on that.

Now lets set the stage! This is specifically for Danny who is adopted by the Fentons later down in life. Lets go twin au. At 10 years old, Damian goes to the Wayne Family, Danny is adopted by the Fentons (regardless of their affiliation with the League). By 14 years old, who ends up the better adjusted, more socially aware, spiritually in-tune with themselves, sibling? Why, Damian is! Why is that?

Because he has the actual support he needs compared to Danny. And I'm not talking about good or bad parents Fentons, because either way my opinion doesn't change. Damian would end up the better off twin, because, frankly, his family knows his background. They know he grew up in the League, they know what the League's teachings are, and they know he's a born and raised assassin. Knowing this, they can then help tackle and dismantle the teachings and lessons he has been given and ingrained into by the League. They may be a dysfunctional family, but they're functional enough to at least actively help deprogram all of the League's teachings that have been ingrained in Damian throughout his childhood.

Can't say the same for Danny.

Lets say Fentons here don't know his background -- and even if they do, the results may just stay the same if they play their cards wrong, -- Danny's now just been thrown into the deep end of a pool and is essentially being told sink or swim. Regardless of how he got there -- undercover, faked death, etc -- he has no proper support. He knows the League is meant to be secret, he's not gonna speak on it for various reasons. Whether it be some still lingering loyalty, fear of harm, or whatever. Whatever the reason is, he does not have a proper support system in the Fentons, no matter how nice they are. They can only tackle the surface level stuff and whatever Danny allows them to see -- if Danny ever lets them see it at all. For what do assassins do when they don't want to be caught? They hide. Sometimes in plain sight.

"But Jazz--" Jazz is a child. She is 2 years older than Danyal and no better at giving him a proper support system than the two adult Fenton parents, even with parentification. We don't know when she got into psychology or how long she'd been studying it by the time Danny's 14. We just know she's really into it. Even then, Jazz is not a licensed or reliable therapist, or even an experienced or implied good therapist, and should not be used as one either. It's a disservice to her character to reduce her down to 'supporting female emotional crutch'. Besides, therapy only works on people who want to get better. Danny, who'd be hiding who he really is, has very little incentive to want to, or to even think something is wrong with his way of thinking, even with exposure to the outside world.

When people's beliefs are outright challenged, they tend to double down on them, and Jazz canonically has a habit of psychoanalyzing her family and declaring what she thinks is the problem -- regardless of whether or not she's right about it. Jazz would get into psychology, try and psychoanalyze Danny, and all it would do is cause him to clam up, shut into himself further, and throw up even more walls so that she can't figure out that he has been lying this whole time. It would do more harm than good, and would actively hinder any progress he'd make in trying to open up to them. Roads and good intentions and all that.

That being said, I think Danny's development and dismantling of the League's teachings would be slower than Damian's. Much slower. Because he would be the one having to pick apart everything and figure out what is right, what is wrong, what he wants to keep, and what he wants to toss. Everything he unlearns would be stuff he has to unlearn himself. If he even gets to that point at all -- depending on his experiences, he very well could not change at all, or change very little. The League acts as a purge for humanity, meant to reign in their hubris and retain balance, they just also happen to be assassins for hire. Danny's time spent in Amity Park could as well strengthen his belief in their teachings just as much as it could weaken it, especially if it goes as canon and he gets bullied.

Regardless, being tossed to a civilian family as someone who is very much not a civilian, without any support, would be actively detrimental to Danny's overall mental health and development. Especially to strangers like the Fentons. Damian was closed off and standoffish even with blood family, and it took him time to open up to them -- Danny, with the Fentons, would be even more so. He doesn't know them, he doesn't trust them, he has no rhyme or reason to open up to them, and since the Fentons don't actually know him, they can't help him the way he needs. Once "Danny Fenton" is made, he has even less reason to open up. So long as Danyal allows it, they will only ever know Danny, and they'll never know Danyal.

TL:DR the Fentons aren't the better family option just because they're civilians, and actually that makes them the worser option between the two because they can't give Danny the proper support he needs. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

[share-the-damn-bed]

You think I don't want to see you? I know you don't.

[ineffable-suffering]

Aziraphale, I love you. But you lied. And here's why.

Okay. I’m not gonna beat around the bush for too long. It’s time now for me to also throw my try at a personal Good Omens Season 2 Magnum Opus into the mix of already existing magnum op..i? Opusses? (Smited? Smote?)

If I’m honest, it isn’t fully my own magnum opus, as I read this meta not too long ago that made me go: „Oh! My God! That’s it!“ And I’m pretty sure a lot of other people have clocked this too by now. Of course I’m not saying it’s the objective truth but after having mulled it over for many endless nights and days, wading through the onslaught of coffee theories, body swap theories, The Metatron re-writing the Book of Life theories and many, many more, this is the one I think is most plausible and, if you look closely, most obvious.

And it goes as such: Aziraphale lied.

To all of us. All of them. And most of all, to Crowley. He lied to him. Well, he sort of did and also sort of didn’t. He certainly didn’t tell the truth. At least not all of it. I hear you ask: “OP, what the fuck are you talking about”. I answer you: Let’s start from the top and under the cut.

(Small note: this meta ended up being way too large for Tumblr, which is why I will redirect you to an external doc at the end of the post, where I have written it all down nicely and accurately. It's about 35 digital A4-pages long, just in case you want to save it for later.)

(Word count: 12.831 | Approximate reading time: 50 minutes)

Let’s start with a short recap of what happens before the Metatron crashes the bookshop party and everything goes to shit. The proper visuals for this are in my Tumblr post but I am absolutely convinced that right up until when the Metatron comes to take Aziraphale away and talk to him, the angel is fully ready to get into Crowley’s Bentley-chariot and finally ride off into the sunset (or Alpha Centauri-set or whatever). You can see it in his face and body language. You can see when the penny drops for him that a) Crowley loves him b) he loves Crowley and c) they can finally start their happily ever after. Aziraphale realizes this all throughout said Brielzebub reveal in the bookshop. And he’s such a lost cause once he does. 

I mean, look at that. Look at it. This (very shitty recording, sorry, I'm not tech-savvy enough to avoid the Amazon Prime screen recording blocker) is the very second Aziraphale realizes hat Crowley loves him. When he hears him suggest Alpha bloody Centauri as a getaway for Gabriel and Beelzebub, as Crowley has done to Aziraphale for so, so many times now. He finally understands what Crowley was trying to tell him with that all those times.

Aziraphale realizes this all throughout the Brielzebub reveal in the bookshop. And he’s such a lost cause once he does.

Right when Crowley suggest Alpha Centauri as a nice getaway spot to the two, Aziraphale looks at him and he gets it. That Crowley has loved him, has been loving him for millennia. Truthfully, they've both known that for a long while now. But there's a difference between knowing, wanting, craving and actually being able to finally have something. And that's exactly what we see on Aziraphale's face here. This is it. This is where it all starts working out for Crowley and him. This is were they can start their eternity together.

So from that second on, Aziraphale only has eyes for Crowley. He keeps physically pawing at Crowley with complete heart eyes, as if to say „Look, look, that’s gonna be us too! Finally!" He’s actually so smitten that he doesn’t even hear what Crowley is saying when he asks Shax if he can have back his apartment now because he’s sick of living in his car. (Also, what way to drop that bomb right in this moment Crowley, lmao). 

Once the Metatron comes in, the first thing Aziraphale says is that they don’t need to talk because „he’s made his position quite clear“. He doesn’t even want to talk to the Metatron, because in his mind, he’s already made the choice. Actually, he made the choice way before the bookshop showdown. For starters, I’m convinced that the Jane Austen Ball actually never was for Maggie and Nina but for Crowley and him (you can read more about that here). And apart from that, for this whole season we have seen Aziraphale trying to advance his relationship with Crowley romantically and domestically and move them to the literal next base (our car!). And after everything he just witnessed with Brielzebub, the final nail in the coffin of ethereal-infernal romance being possible, his choice is absolutely crystal clear: It’s Crowley. It’s always been Crowley and it always will be Crowley. And now it can be Crowley. They can be an us.

The whole of Season 2 is such a massive learning curve for Aziraphale’s character, with him remembering all those important pivotal points of his past,  and this very moment is the peak, with him not only understanding that Crowley loves him (because he certainly knew for quite some centuries now) but accepting that love, letting himself have that love, being allowed to want that love and taking that love and starting their new and final chapter with it. Nevertheless, the plot clock ticks for them. The Metatron saunters into the bookshop, evil and stinky as Metatrons do, and urges Aziraphale to come with him with his whole Take The Coffee schtick, which I will get into later. And Aziraphale, immediately sensing there’s Something Up, does. Can’t really turn down someone as high-ranking as the the voice of God, after all. Even if you were currently already planning how you were going to elope with a certain red-haired serpent of Eden. 

he next time we see Aziraphale on screen, it’s so painfully evident on his face that he is neither happy nor excited. Not even the slightest bit. We’d know if he was, thanks to Mr. Michael master-of-microexpressions Sheen. None of the usual “Aziraphale is happy”-signs are there. No blinding eye-smile, no giddy wriggling, not giggles and gasps. No, when the Metatron tells Aziraphale to „go tell your friend the good news“, his expression looks like this:

I’m gonna go out on an entire limb here and say: That does not look like someone who’s absolutely tickety-boo hyped to tell his demon soulmate that he just got the juiciest promotion and that they can both be angels and live happily ever after in ethereal eternity now.

This, folks, looks like someone who knows exactly that the news he has to break right now, are going to be tickety-shit awful and very upsetting to said demon soulmate. And already, from that very short snippet of conversation, we can tell that Aziraphale isn’t really given a choice by the Metatron. Because while the Metatron does tell him that he doesn’t have to „answer right away“, he immediately follows it up by: „Go ahead and tell your friend the good news!“ Very distinct and definitive choice of words here. It’s “good news” because it’s already been decided. Because it’s already a done deal. There is no “yes, no, maybe”. This is the only choice he’s giving to Aziraphale. Because it’s ‘Coffee or death’. 

And he already gave him the coffee. 

***

Tumblr won't let me continue this over a certain character limit and I am not even remotely done yet – so, I feel like this is a good moment to redirect you to the continuation of this insane meta before we're in too deep. You can do so right here!

I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions about this once you've fought your way through it. Hope you have a good time with it!

[usertoxicyaoi]

"They despised you, trampled on you and cursed you, just because you don't belong to the same race as them. How did it feel? Don't you hate them? Don't you feel aggrieved? You're not a sinner, but they still hate you."

FANGS OF FORTUNE (2024). EPISODE TWENTY FIVE.

[still-searching-for-something]

Moderator: Do you regret your actions on January 6th?

Trump: Let's talk about how MILLIONS OF BROWN PEOPLE ARE RAPING AND MURDERING YOU RIGHT NOW, AS WE SPEAK!

Moderator: Okay, but do you regret--

Trump: AND THEY'RE ALSO EATING YOUR DOGS AND DELIVERING TRANSGENDER SURGERIES ON ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS IN PRISON WHILE THEY RAPE AND MURDER YOU!

Moderator: But--

Trump: YOU MARXIST!

[alaynestone]

i'm just having a hard time forgiving and forgetting here, you know?

[everyryuujisuguro]

[koszmarnybudyn]

They are creatures.

[nuctua-larc]

Currently rewatching the entirety of demon slayer to prep for the new season and...yea this was inevitable.