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physicalturian · 3 years ago

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[18+] Deranged Love - Hanma Shuji x F!Reader - Part 1

[Probably contains spoilers from the anime and the manga] [She/Her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone is +18]

Words: 9403

Archive of our own

Warnings : Explicit! / Blood / Injuries / Guns / Bruises / Choking / Blood / Graphic depiction of violence / Killing / Murder / Crying / Trauma /

Summary : Wrong place, wrong guy. Wrong in so many fucking ways it only made the attraction more sick and twisted...Yet I wanted more of him and would end up doing anything for him, with him.

If you feel like I should add more warnings, send me a dm or and ask, I'd rather be safe than sorry

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Routine.

This would be how I would describe my way of life, a routine. I liked it like that, it was safe, comfortable and I was sure of what would happen. Far from me the idea of only doing the same things over and over again, I would sometimes go out with my friends or see a movie—doing things on a whim was not off the table. But I liked knowing what I was signing up for. Surprises, however, never were a thing I enjoyed—seeing my friends in my house when all I wanted was to relax after work was something dreadful and annoying to no end. I would pull through and be a good host, nonetheless, making sure everything was enjoyable, but I would be drained by the end of their stay.

Perhaps that need for reassurance, for a safety net, was the reason why I never truly took an artistic path or even considered any artistic career. It was too free, too unpredictable, too risky. Never could I have imagined myself doing such a thing; those who did were in my eyes the boldest and I admired them greatly for following their dream, but I was not bold, I preferred the solace of a job I knew would always bring me money. A simple 9 to 5 job was fulfilling enough for me; for some it was not, but I enjoyed it. It was something I could do and found relaxing to do, even when there was more rush. It just made sense to me.

There was not much thrill in this job. The people were nice enough; the clients were a bit bitter from time to time, depending on whether the job we had done was in their favor or not. Some of my colleagues would tell me crazy stories about some firms they had worked on or with and I would have a hard time believing it, but perhaps it was because different departments would deal with different types of clients. I had simple people: homeowners, tax payers, easy stuff. I liked it.

Now, even if I was keen on this routine that I had of going to my job, using the same transports, the same paths, headphones in to ignore the people around, I knew when following that same path would bring me trouble. I knew when to break that routine even just a little bit.

Tonight was one of those rare occasions. As I walked back home from work after having had to stay one more hour to help my colleague Darren fix his mistake—I made sure to tell him he owed me for helping him this late—I saw a group of men surrounding someone on the street. With one glance around, the entire street was empty except for those seven men and their victim. The usually crowded place was completely deserted and as I wondered how it could have happened, I noticed bikes at the end of the road blocking any possible traffic. It did not take a genius to know this was something far above me, there was no way I would interfere with that. Turning around, I made sure my steps were less heavy, less determined and started walking back. I did not have time to think I was going to get out of there safely when I heard, “Miss! Call the police-“. A thud sound, followed by a pained moan reached my ear.

When I dared look over my shoulder, I saw the man on his knees, blood pouring from his nose. I recognized him, he was a creepy older man that would sometimes stay longer on the train to look at younger women. Glancing at the other people around him, I kept my face as neutral as possible. Should I call the police? The outfits they wore all had the same sigil on them, the same pattern, and since they did not look like high schoolers I hardly believed those were school uniforms. Which led to the conclusion that they were the ones the news talked about a lot. The city was filled with gangs fighting over territory, not hesitating one bit to kill anyone who would cross them. I was sure of myself, assertive, yes… but I did not possess a savior complex. Seeing that man on the floor made me realize how wrong the system was, but I could not risk taking part in the situation and helping him. There were too many and clearly a lot scarier and stronger than I was. Looking away, I kept walking and heard them laugh, “That’s the right thing to do missy, he deserved it-“ “I said I was going to pay as soon as I got the money!” The victim interrupted; he was speaking very fast, but the fist smashing his jaw was faster to tell him to shut up. “It ain’t about that, you know it!”

Playing my music again, louder this time, I walked away and let them deal with everything, taking a different route than the one I would usually take. It’s alright to not have helped, you wouldn’t have made a difference… But he deserved it… I can still call the police… A turmoil inside my head started as I kept walking. After a few minutes, I grabbed my phone and dialed the police department’s number; they picked up quite fast, asking me what the emergency was. “There are gang members beating up a man in-“ “I’m sorry ma’am we can’t help with that, have a nice evening.” And just like that, the person on the other end of the phone hung up. Looking at my phone incredulously, I called again, all while taking a turn and walking by a warehouse, “Hello, you must have misunderstood me earlier—it is not a joke, there are gang members in the-“ This time, I was not interrupted by the person on the phone but by my arms being grabbed suddenly.

My heartbeat picked up, I suddenly felt sick and my head started spinning. When things like this happened, we’d always think it only happened to others, so when I realized it was happening to me, I did not feel well. Blood drained from my face, from my entire body. It all happened so fast: one moment I was walking past the warehouse, then suddenly my phone hit the ground and I joined it when I was thrown on it with force. My cheekbone took all the damage as someone pressed the side of my face onto the wet ground and made sure to put weight on my back to stop me from moving. I was shivering in fear already, but that fear only grew when my hair was pushed out of the way by a bloody hand, its knuckles painted red and brown from fresh and drying blood. The action did not feel one bit intimate, it was scary, intimidating. With the pressure on my back, I was pressed against the hard floor and could barely breathe, but in a situation like this I knew better than to talk.

I knew that. Yes.

So why did I talk? Why were my nerves acting up in moments like these?

“I am sure you got the wrong person—I’m just an accountant-“ A gun was now pressed against my cheek, I took it as a sign to shut up and did so. The man on my back twisted the gun a few times against my cheek, making me open my mouth from the weird movements against my teeth, like someone forcing a dog to open its jaws to get food out of it. “Aren’t we noisy? Tonight wasn’t the right night to feel heroic, girl.” The man asked as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I closed my eyes in discomfort, my breath hitching. Laughing sadistically, he continued talking, this time his tone lowered, “Rats shouldn’t snoop in businesses that aren’t theirs.” I felt the weight shift on my back, then heard him ask someone, “Keep beating him up, I’ll take care of her then we’ll continue having our fun,” His voice was stern but I still heard some tones of him being carefree, he was enjoying this. He then addressed someone else, “Sounds good to you?” The answer consisted of muffled cries, attempts at screams that were cut off by hits then a gun cocking. With a sigh, the man on me pulled the gun away from my face and tutted the man who was bound on his knees.

I felt the weight leave my back but did not dare move, I stayed right where I was. Steps on the humid ground were heard, getting away from me but clearly approaching the man who I assumed was being tortured. The gun fired soon after, startling me as I tensed up and closed my eyes a few seconds before opening them again. The crazy man that put me on the ground laughed loudly, “Come on, it’s just the thigh, you can still walk for now, yeah?” He had said. Turning my head to look at them, I saw the older man on his knees, hands tied behind his back and suit bloody. His tie was undone, and he had wounds all over his face and chest. “I said you can walk, yeah?” Recognizing the voice, I could put a face to my aggressor as I watched him remove his glove before grabbing the victim by his arm and making him stand up, only to force him to wobble a bit. “See! I am being nice! Talk and it’s all over, come on.” He cooed in something that could be seen as sweet if it wasn’t happening in a warehouse with violent people and a man bleeding on the ground.

“I told you! I don’t know anything I-“ The man with the long earring in his left ear did not think twice before punching the office worker in the face with enough force. I believe I heard his nose crack. I caught a glimpse of the tattoos adorning his hands but could not decipher, from how far I was, what was written on them. The crazy man laughed after the punch, “Wrong answer! Haha, you have one last chance, ok?” He said, leaning over so that his face was at the same level as the other man’s. From my place on the ground, I could only see the wicked smile on his face, and it made me feel uneasy. The tall violent man was clearly crazy, having such a man roaming the city did not seem safe at all and it scared me to think of what else was happening in the shadows. “Alright, alright, please Reaper-“ The man he called Reaper gripped his chin tight and chuckled, “Straight to point, I don’t have time to waste on vermin like you, you’re no fun.” He said as a matter of fact, as if they both believed this. His face had turned serious so quickly that I feared the moment I felt like I could escape, he would change his mind in half a second.

The bleeding man nodded quickly, tears streaming down his cheeks, “It’s Silas&Sons—That’s the name of the firm that discovered something was off-'' While I was left in shock at the mention of the firm I worked at, the Reaper grinned and brought the gun to the man’s forehead, “Wasn’t hard, was it?” the man tried to tell him not to shoot, adding that the violent one had promised he would stop. The latter shook his head, “I said it’ll all be over! Listen carefully next time,” He said the last part like a parent berating their child then winked and pressed the trigger, killing the man in less than a second as his body hit the ground, blood spattering behind him. The man with black and blond hair looked at the body on the ground and chuckled to himself, “There won’t be a next time, but you get the jest.” He huffed with a wave of his hand before handing back the gun he had been given earlier. Turning around, his eyes locked on mine. I widened my eyes in pure terror and turned my face to be in the position he had left me in; I was aware he had seen me, but I was hoping he would not mention it.

The other people that were in the room had gone silent and were probably all looking at me, the woman lying on the floor, shaking, dreading for her life. The odds of me coming out of this unscathed seemed to be decreasing the more I observed what was happening around me. A stinging pain reached my scalp making me hiss, as someone lifted my head from the ground to make me look at them. While turning my head their way, I saw two men sitting on a crate, one with two braids that were long enough to go down to his ribcage while the other had shorter purple hair and glasses. Boredom adorned both their features alongside blood stains on their outfits, and yet they were nonchalant about it. I saw a man leaning behind another crate but barely managed to catch a glimpse of his tattoo that the man called Reaper snapped his fingers in front of me. “Here, I’m your tormentor, not them, yeah?” He grinned. Meeting his gaze again, I forced myself to keep my mouth shut and kept my eyes on him.

“You’re being courageous, not even crying yet! You’re a fun one, gotta love it.” He said happily, his hand patting the cheek that had taken most of the damage when he slammed me on the ground. I flinched when I saw his hand approach my face then winced at the rough touch against the bruising skin. “What will I do with you little rat? Eavesdropping ain’t nice, tattling ain’t it either.” The latter was said in a more serious tone as his expression turned somber, any humor that dripped from his words a moment ago was completely gone and he was now looking at me with caution. “Get up, come on.” I did not have a choice, the grip in my hair did not slacken and I had to follow his movement to avoid most of the pain. My clothes were dirty and damp from the humid ground; I felt my legs shake as I got to my feet and hissed at the pain when he yanked my hair for me to follow him quicker.

Pushing me forward, he threw me against the crate where the two other men were sitting. Hitting my shoulder against the wooden item, I swore under my breath and was about to fall to my knees again when the man with the long braids wrapped his legs around my neck and somewhat choked me. Caught off guard, I gripped his shins tight and tried to break free, but his hold only tightened. I heard him mock me while he dug his heels deeper in my biceps from the position he was in, “Stop moving and it’ll stop hurting, fuck you’re stupid.” He sighed with disdain, bringing me closer towards him but it only pressed my neck against the wood. Gritting my teeth, I stopped trying to get him to let go and let my arms fall to my side, when I felt the choke weaken and took a large intake of breath while focusing my eyes anywhere but on the man in front of me.

The manic laughter I had now heard many times in those few minutes I was on the floor reached my ears again, “I can see you wanna live, what are you willing to do to stay alive?” He asked in a light tone. It was a real question, but I did not want to do anything. I wanted to punch them and make a run for it, but they had guns and strength, none of which I could match in any way. I kept my mouth shut again.

The Reaper chuckled again, “I don’t know if you keeping your pretty mouth shut is a curse or a blessing-“ he stopped himself and slapped my now undamaged cheek with as much force as he could, making me yelp at the pain. I kept my face turned the direction his hand had turned it, but he gripped my chin forcefully and made me look at him. His expression had turned almost sour as he stared right into my eyes, “Fucking answer the question, what are you willing to do?” he spat, his face only breaths away from mine. Keeping a frown on, I uttered, “I wasn’t calling on you, there were people blocking another road-“ His mouth contorted into a smile once again as he pushed my face against the crate before letting go as he threw his hands in the air, and turned around on himself once, “She speaks! God it’s so entertaining to see you’re—Still. Not. Crying.” He gritted through his teeth the last three words before leaning over once again, his face very close to mine just like before.

“You’re telling me it’s a coincidence then?” He asked in a playful tone, clearly mocking me.

Fuck I wanted to make a run for it and get away from here. My heart was trying to beat out of my chest the longer I spent time here, the only thought running through my mind was: I am going to die here. How else would I end up? He had killed a man that had told him what he wanted to know, so no matter what I said he would kill me, right? Stammering a bit, I nodded the best I could with legs still around my neck, “Yes, I hadn’t seen you were here, I-“

“You’re funny! I’ll give you that! God you’re-“ He pulled back and made a rapid movement of his arms approaching me, as if putting me on display, “You’re fun! Ran, let her go.” The first part was said in excitement, the latter in the utmost seriousness. The moment he had spoken those words, the man let go of my neck and I was about to stumble when the Reaper grabbed me by the shoulders. He was tall, strangely tall, way above average, and it only added to all the traits that already made him scary. My whole body tensed, I thought this was it. He glared at me for a few moments before speaking to one of his friends, his gaze never leaving mine, “What do we know?”

An unknown voice reached my ear, it was close, so it must have been the other man on the crate, “Seems like a civilian, said she was an accountant. She also seemed surprised when the vermin said Silas&Son.” That perked the Reaper’s interest.

“Oh, so the little girl knows things. Have they sent you?” He asked, forcing me to look up by gripping my chin once more. He did not care the amount of strength he used, he couldn’t care less if I was uncomfortable, to him I was just a puppet that he could throw around and play with. Clearly he was right since I moved along and did not fight back. If I did, I would die, I was sure of it. “I was walking home from work—I saw my usual path was blocked and people were ganging up against a man so I-“ “You ran? The rat isn’t one for conflict, eh?” He patted my head and smiled almost reassuringly before letting go of me, making sure I fell on the floor. “Then? Make this quick, this ain’t the time for a bedtime story.”

“I called the police so that they could check—they said it was none of their business so I tried again and you-“ Fuck I was stuttering, the stress was too much and once I had fallen on my back, he was a lot more intimidating. He could just pull out his gun and shoot me, I could not get up with how I was shaking.

“You tried to do the right thing, right?” He asked, his back now turned to me. I could not gauge his emotion, so I replied sincerely, “Yes, it was all that I could do-“

Suddenly he turned around and pointed a gun at me, grinning, “Wrong! You could have helped the poor, poor man on the street, yeah? But you didn’t, why?” I did not reply right away, so he waved the gun around before crouching right in front of me and taking a good look at me. “They were too many-“ “That never stops a hero, does it? It’s all about charisma, determination, letting your body act faster than your brain, no?” He asked rhetorically, but while I waited for him to continue he sighed and looked down, his gun dropping lower as his arm fell limp. He started mumbling to himself a moment, using the gun to scratch his hair. Perhaps it was not the most adequate time to do so, but I looked at his outfit and saw he was wearing suit pants and a white business shirt. Quite the outfit for a murderer, but he had made sure to pull his sleeves up to not stain it. He was right in doing so since all the blood from earlier was on his black gloves and his forearms.

“Tell me, rat,” He slowly looked up and gave me a wicked smile, “Are you a hero?” He brought the gun to my forehead and all I did was close my eyes in fear. A sob escaped my lips as I tried to back away, but I was only met with the wooden crate, accidentally bumping my head against the shoes of one of the men sitting on it. “Do you believe there is good in this world? That it deserves to be saved? Hm? Would you die for this pathetic excuse of a world?” He pressed the gun even more against my skin. I heard the click as he disengaged the safety and tried to close my eyes even more than how I had already shut them, but found it impossible. My entire body was shaking, there was no helping the sobs escaping my mouth even by covering it.

I felt a gentle hand push my hand away and opened my eyes in confusion, only to see that the man who was holding a gun against me was grinning, “Answer the question.” He turned the gun horizontally and rested his arm on his knee as he placed his head on his free hand, completely relaxed. Getting lost in thoughts, I stared emptily at him while he started counting down, “Three…” Am I a hero? How would one describe a Hero? None of the mythological heroes could define me, none of those famous franchises either. “Two, think faster.” What answer did he want? Should I give him what he wants, or should I just be honest? “One-“

“I’m not a hero, I didn’t call right away because he deserved it, I-“ Taking a deep breath, I tried to take a hold of myself and calm down the best I could. “He harassed people, no one ever did anything about it-“

“See! Wasn’t hard, was it? Good girl,” He patted my head before moving the gun under my chin and raising it with the end of the gun, his finger never leaving the trigger, “You’re also a bad person then, you’re like us, right? Some people do deserve to die!”

Shuddering, I took a shaky breath and inhaled, “I’m nothing like you-“ “If he died it’s because ye didn’t act quick enough, don’t you agree?” He inquired with a pleading look, the mockery never leaving his tone. “I don’t, no.” My words were followed by the gun leaving my person as the man stood up quickly and barked out a laugh before asking his friends if they had heard that, they only grumbled in reply. He tucked the gun in the back of his pants and I quickly let my head down in fear I had triggered him somehow, frightened it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. “I like you, accountant woman. I just wanna see one thing to know what I should do with you—well two, but I’ll start slow.” Bringing his arm behind his back, I tensed again but then felt the gun hit my ankle as he threw it at me.

“Shoot me,” He ordered as he crouched in front of me, his arms crossed over his knees while grinning broadly. “I killed a guy, right? I am bad, killing me should make you a hero.” His little speech was stupid, it only started a vicious cycle of death with no end. Killing a killer that killed one person? It’d make me a killer that killed one person, and so on. But he brought his hand to mine and wrapped my fingers around the handle of the gun before pressing it against his forehead. “Here, you can’t miss from this close, show me you got guts! Come on, do it.” That grin turned into something scary, manic, he was getting off on the thrill. But my hands were shaking, I had never held a gun before, never intended to, but tonight was nothing if not exceptional. When I tried to put my arm down, he grabbed my elbow and kept it up, “It’s you or me, come on, make this fun for both of us-“ “I’m not shooting you in the head! You’re insane-“

Hearing my words well, he barked a laugh then guided the gun to his heart, one of the men behind me sighed and told him to hurry up, but the Reaper only shushed him. “Here, then? Sounds better?” Nothing was right in his head; I couldn’t understand what he was doing. No matter how hard I tried, I did not know the point he was making, but taking all this time to think about it made me lose the position of power he had given me. Forcing my hand to let go of the gun, he took it and, at the speed of light, put it in my mouth, making a sob escape it as he did so. “That’s a missed opportunity, too bad.” He shrugged then as I saw him press the trigger. I closed my eyes, my hands gripping my thighs so tight, it must have left some marks under the fabric of my pants.

The click of the trigger echoed, and I felt myself jump on the spot at how loud the bang was—so this is it? That thought crossed my mind rapidly, but was shoved aside by the loud ringing in my ears. I then heard footsteps echoing around the warehouse. The gun was no longer in my mouth, there were no bullets, it was a blank; I felt my stomach churn and opened my eyes in panic before pushing my tormentor away. I was surprised when he let me do so, but it was better for him. Slamming my hands down, I was on the floor as I emptied my stomach on the concrete. Chuckles reached my ears along with the whispers of a few words, “Can’t even stomach a bit of gun play.” “Should have killed her, blood stench leaves easier than vomit.” The latter comment made one of them laugh.

When I was done, I thought for a second that death was quick, most of the time. And when it wasn’t, you expected it, you weren’t filled with stress. Hence why no one ever spoke of post-mortem vomit. It made me laugh only for a second until I was pushed back on my ass when the man with the earring pressed his foot against my chest, making me wince. “Your name, what is it?” he asked seriously.

Feeling some sort of confidence build up, I looked up at him and leaned over, using the hem of his pants to wipe my mouth, but did not answer. The seriousness on his face turned into the look of someone who had been challenged; he snapped his fingers, then I heard someone say my name, my birthdate and my birthplace. Looking at the person who kept reading out loud, I saw the man with a tiger tattoo on his neck approach before tossing my wallet at me. I did not know when they had found the time to pickpocket me, but they managed to. My cheeks were burning up from the sickness, the stress and the embarrassment this entire situation brought but I still tried to keep my head high, for what it was worth. Bringing my hands to my face, I only now felt the tears that had rolled down my cheeks.

“Okay little tattletale, I think I’ll let you go for now-“ “Are you not going to kill me? Isn’t this what you do?” I asked in a weak voice, not even attempting to get up after all the time you had been mishandled. Both the man with the earring and the tattooed one were standing in front of me. The former reached out for my hand to help me get up, I did not take it, so he sighed loudly and bent over to grab my bicep and forcefully get me up. “We only kill snitches and annoying fucks, are you one of those?” I was about to tell him no when he leaned over suddenly and pressed his index against my lips to shut me up. Startled, I tried to step back but he held the back of my head with his free hand and beamed, “No, you’re not. You’re gonna be useful, you’re just the right amount of malleable,” The finger that had left my mouth moved to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, I shivered in disgust, “I can see it in your eyes that you’ll be a fun one to work with.”

I tried to pull away from him, but his hand gripped my hair tight and kept me in place, stopping me from leaning back when he approached closer, “Since you’re not a hero, we’ll make you a villain then—I mean, it’s not going to be hard considering your stance on killing.” He grimaced at that before turning it into a full laugh and letting go of me.

“Rindou, take her back to her place-“ “I’m not doing that, I got plans with Ran. Send the tiger boy, we’re done for tonight.” The one with purple hair and glasses said as he hopped off the crate, followed by the other man on it. It made the Reaper’s face turn sour as he gripped the one who had just spoken and tightened his hold on his shoulder, “I don’t do escorting, that’s your job.” He gritted through his teeth.

Seeing the tension, I put my wallet back in my bag and cleared my throat, “I’ll—I can walk home on my own, by now they must be gone-“ All of them looked at me with a threatening gaze, I felt like a deer caught in headlights. The man with the braids started walking off, Ran was his name I believe, along with the man with the tattoo on the neck, while the two others stayed right there and glared at me. When I took a step back, taking their silence for permission, the Reaper wrapped his arm around my shoulders and held me close to him, “Right, I’ll do it tonight. Just because she’s a fun one-“ “I can walk home alone, it’s no problem,” I tried to push him away, my hands were shaky and had a few scraps. Without the constant manhandling, not that I missed it, I could feel the dampness of my clothes and how cold it was getting.

Looking down at me without any expression on his face, the Reaper turned us around and waved everyone goodbye, his arm never leaving my shoulders. “We both know that’s not true, if we let you walk home alone you might get beaten up by—how did you put it? ‘Gang members’, yeah, that was what you said on the phone.” He hummed, shoving his free hand in his pocket as he guided us outside. I felt uneasy in his hold, I felt like he was walking me towards my execution. I did not want to lead him to my house, but what choice did I have? He would find it sooner or later; at least that’s what he said, but I did not know how much truth there was to it. In my eyes, it was but a small group of violent men that had killed someone.

“In the end you did get beaten up by a gang member, but it could’ve been worse.” He said lightheartedly as he stopped in front of a car. When I paused my steps and still did not look at him, simply waiting for his next move, I felt him grab my chin and turn my head towards him. My breath hitched in fear as I met his golden eyes. He seemed a bit bored now, but I couldn't care less how he felt, I wanted to bolt away from his touch. “You should disinfect that, and you’ll definitely bruise, but you probably have makeup or something to hide that.” He shrugged.

When he leaned over again, I brought my hands in front of me and closed my eyes to stop him from touching me, but I only heard him huffing a laugh next to my ear as he opened the door of the passenger seat. “Get in, I’ll drop you off.” Looking up at him, I blinked a few times then glanced at the inside of the car. I don’t know what I was expecting, something dirty, bloody, disgusting perhaps. But instead, it was perfectly clean, not a speck of dirt in sight. It looked like an expensive car, but perhaps it was just very clean, I did not know. Still unsure, I hesitantly got inside and was about to close the door but felt a certain strength holding it back. The man was leaning on the door and bent over to peek his head inside the car, thinking he needed something. I pressed myself more against the seat to let him grab what he wanted, but his hand reached for the belt and fastened it for me.

“Wouldn’t want you to escape—ah, I mean, safety first.” He said mockingly before winking and slamming the door shut. My hands found their way to the belt and held it tight as I watched him walk around the car. His steps were too big for me to make a run for it, he would catch up on me in no time, I was stuck with him. As he entered the vehicle and fastened his own seatbelt, he pointed at the glove box and handed me his gloves, “Put them back and hand me a wipe, tattletale.”

His craziness was a lot more toned down, for a second I wondered how many faces this man had. The one I was seeing right now was intimidating from how put together he seemed, the other one was scary from how unexpected his actions were. “Why aren’t you killing me?” I asked without looking at him, focused on pushing the gun out of the way inside the glove box and grabbing the little pack of wipes. Giving it to him, his brow was quirked, “Because you’re a good girl,” He grinned, wiping his hands as he continued, “No one would ever suspect you’re working with the likes of a gang. You’re gonna be useful and that’s all that matters, you should be thankful I didn’t kill you. I hate people who eavesdrop.” He said, as he shoved the wipe in the door compartment.

“I didn’t eavesdrop.” I muttered, looking outside the window when he started the car. The laugh that erupted out of nowhere scared me, making me tense again, I dared to look his way and saw his manic smile again. “So, you’re an accountant, pretty boring. You should be thrilled I chose you.” He said in a mix of pride and humor before increasing the volume of the music then drumming his fingers on the wheel. Thinking about his words some more, I glanced his way and lowered the volume, catching his attention as he looked me dead in the eyes. “What if I don’t want to work with you?” I asked, measuring my tone to not piss him off, it did not take a genius to understand this man was unstable and that I needed to tread lightly around him.

Even with as much care as I put in my voice, his reaction was sudden when he turned the wheel and stopped the car on the side of the road. Passing cars honked in annoyance but the man did not care one bit while I had slammed my hand on the dashboard to stop my head from hitting it. Insulting him under my breath, I looked up and saw he had placed his arms on the wheel, his left cheek resting on his forearm. “Then leave. Get out right now, nothing’s stopping you.”

“What’s stopping me is that you’ll kill me, or you’ll run me over, multiple times,” I could see the smile on his face was spreading, but he did not move. The condescendence in his lack of reaction, of action, annoyed me but at the same time frightened me, was he going to slam my head against the window? Against the dashboard? I did not know, but I continued, stammering this time from how nervous I was becoming, “My life is on the fucking line, that’s what’s holding me back.” I spat. My eyes had never left his, even as his smile turned into a grin and his slender fingers gripped the wheel tighter.

When he did not look away, I did. At the same time, I turned on the seat and fully looked ahead instead of facing him. A silence set for a moment then I heard the car start and the man sighed, content, “You’re smart to stay, you’re only alive because I can use you. If you had left, I’d have shot you and left you on the side of the road to die.” He said in a light tone. The words he had spoken had the same effect of a bullet; my guts took a hit without being truly hit. I did not have a choice at all, I was stuck working for a man I did not know without even knowing what I had to do.

His hand rose and I closed my eyes, flinching slightly, “Type in your address, tattletale.” With the little confidence that remained, I lifted my shaky hand and typed it in while telling him that I had a name. Then added, “You should use it. Maybe there is a name I can call you by?” I was not asking for his ID, nor anything specific, if he had a codename in his stupid gang or something like that I would go with it, but calling him Reaper in my head sounded idiotic. “Sorry doll, I think nark or snitch suits you a lot more.” He hummed a moment, throwing me a glance from the corner of his eyes as his hands moved on the wheel absent-mindedly. Huffing in annoyance, I placed my elbow against the window and rested my chin against my fist, thinking he was done. After all, why should I care what he called me? I should simply call him an asshole if he was so keen on calling me a snitch. Or perhaps I should live up to the title and do exactly that, tell the police.

A hand wrapped around my wrist and pulled me out of my daydream with my head bumped against the window. Wincing in pain, I heard the man laugh loudly while being focused on the road, “That’s deserved for not paying attention.” He said through laughter. “Pay attention to what? The road? I’m not the one driving-“ “To me, you should keep your guard up, snitch. Who knows what I could do.” He said with a deadpan expression. Without looking at me, he brought his hand to tuck my hair out of the way, then glanced at me and smirked. His touch was light, almost gentle. It allowed me to get a proper look at his tattoo, but I could not focus on it at all, I only tensed up before feeling him grip my throat and bring me closer to him. I made a choking sound and complied to avoid as much pain as possible, “You can call me Hanma, as long as you don’t scream it from every fucking rooftop.”

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. This night was not going as planned at all and every time I found any respite, it would be ruined, and the man would turn violent again. I could not let my guard down, I knew it but when he would just stay put, I could not help myself but think he was done. Clearly he wasn’t. His hold lessened a bit, so I took the opportunity to claw his hand away and pull myself back, my own hand around my throat in protection. “They called you the Reaper.” I croaked, wanting him to talk more so that I wouldn’t have to.

“They did, yeah.” He shrugged.

That was it. He did not add anything else. The matter was closed. When I asked him why they did that, he pulled the car on the side of the road again, startling me in the process. With how on edge I was, I did not realize where we were and thought he would be mad again, but instead he looked over my shoulder and nodded, “That’s you, get out.” He told me as his left arm rested on the wheel while the right one was on the back of the seat, casually leaning on it while looking at me. Looking behind me, I saw my house and felt some hope at finally being able to get home and yet… I did not leave right away and instead prodded, “The news talks about your gang, how many people did you kill?” His eyes traveled from my head to my hands then up to my head again, the arrogance never leaving his face as he leaned back against the car door and waved a hand dismissively, “Take a guess, I think it should be fun.”

I was about to give him a number when he leaned forward quickly, his face right in front of mine as he whispered, “Don’t forget those in comas or those at the hospital, they might not be dead, but they might as well be,” He chuckled happily then approached even closer, his lips right next to my ear, “They’re only alive because I said they could be, like you are. One wrong move and,” leaning back quickly, he clapped his hands, “Bang, dead.” He said dead meaning those in the hospital, but I fully understood he was threatening me, I was not an idiot.

Taking this as my cue to go, I unbuckled my seatbelt and when I was about to open the door, I heard the mechanism of the car locking it. Turning around to look at Hanma, I wordlessly asked if he needed anything else. His hand reached out towards me, “Your phone.”

“I didn’t record this or anything, I was not on a call with the police either, I-“ snatching it from my hand while I was rambling, Hanma tried to unlock it but instead was met with a locked screen. Hesitantly, I took it from his hand, mine being a lot shakier than his seeing how steady his were and unlocked it before giving it back to him. A minute passed and he handed the phone back to me, “We’ll be in contact. Things are gonna change for you, doll. Hope you’re ready for what’s coming.”

He was an unusual character, he was confusing, violent, and surely insane. All of those things added up in my mind, making me accidentally let it slip, “How can one be ready with you? Crazy man…” I said it all under my breath and huffed the last part as I pushed the door open. I let out a sigh when the door opened easily, part of me even thanked the man for not keeping me in any longer but I was still on my toes, certain he would say something else as I left the car, but he did not.

Grabbing my bag, I shuffled away from the car that still hadn’t moved and kept glancing over my shoulders until I reached the door where I struggled to put the key in the keyhole. At each failed attempt my frustration grew, the swears flooded out of my mouth easily and soon it turned into a stupid crying of frustration. “Fuck this, fucking shit-“ when the key finally fit, I hurried inside and locked the door behind me again but this time with the sliding lock, knowing full well I would struggle again too much to lock my door with the key seeing how tensed I still was.

The darkness of my home was what welcomed me. It was awful, it was cold and above everything it felt oppressive—my face was heating up, I was suffocating, my clothes were burning my skin, but I was also shaking. Fanning my face, I made my way to the bathroom with heavy steps, my breath was quickening, was it breathing or heaving? I needed to calm down, I needed to ground myself but I did not know how, this never happened but I felt like I was dying. I could not breathe, my lungs hurt at each intake of breath. “Fuck, fuck, shit, calm down“ I panted while taking off my clothes, I needed to take everything off, I wanted to burn them, it was filthy, disgusting and smelled wretched.

As I took off my top, I caught a whiff of the stench of the warehouse and let out a sob but did not let it stop me even if I could not breathe. I removed the rest of my clothes and knelt by the bath, leaning over to turn the shower on but did not wait for it to be warm to step inside and let it pour all over my dirtied body. The coldness made me take a deep breath that seemed to have helped with the panic attack I was having, but it did not help the crying, so I let it all out while I was washing up. What have I gotten myself into? What happens next? What am I supposed to do now? Is he going to ask me to kill someone? Am I going to have to use a gun? I didn’t want to do any of those, I only walked by something I had nothing to do with and—letting out a scream of frustration, I sat down in the bath and let the water rain on me. I ran my hands through my wet hair and placed my elbows on my knees, grunting again, “I don’t do gangs… I do numbers, I don’t have time to murder people…” I mumbled.

Letting my own words sink in, I let out a chuckle at first and focused my gaze on the wall in front of me then laughed again, shortly. I don’t have time to murder people, yeah… “Because if you had time you would?” I asked myself jokingly as I stood up, laughing again. Shaking my head, I shut the shower off and got out, almost slipping on the water that had splattered around the bath. I hadn’t taken time to put a towel on the floor or prepare anything, fortunately I managed to balance myself and took one from the closet. Once I was dry, I wrapped my robe around my form and stopped in front of the mirror, taking a proper look at the damage I had taken.

The scratch on my cheekbone was bruised, there was another bruise on my neck that I could probably hide with a turtleneck, the season allowed it, and if not with a turtleneck then a scarf would do the trick. Disrobing myself just to take a look at the rest of it, I had some bruises on my arms where I was grabbed to be moved roughly, without counting the pain on my ass but no one would see that. Passing my tongue over my teeth, I was glad as I still had all of them, but my jaw hurt, “Did I bite the inside of my cheek? At what moment could-“ A flashback of when the man slapped me with full force appeared in my mind, fueling me with a bad feeling of uneasiness as I put back my robe. “Bastard…” I huffed before opening the door of my bathroom and stepping inside the dark room again. Talking to myself, I continued, “Nothing’s stopping me from telling the police, who does he think he is? I could very well call them, yeah…” I paused in my steps and scoffed dryly, “Not that they’d listen.”

The news was always talking about the gangs in the city, telling us that the police were working on stopping them, but no one knew the people that were supposed to defend and help were a bunch of sellouts, bribed out idiots. The system we had put our trust in had decided to fuck us over and to leave us to ourselves, it was because of them that I was in this situation. It’s not like it had been hard to stumble upon one of their gang meetings. They might claim discretion, but if anyone could find them, it was anything but. “Who am I kidding? I am fucked,” I barked a laugh and turned on the light, “Guess I am a gang member-“ I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the man my thoughts were plagued with, sitting on my couch, his legs crossed with one ankle over a knee. “Not exactly, you still need to prove yourself. But I love the enthusiasm!” He said while placing an arm on the back of the couch and looking at me with a satisfied smile, not even fully facing me, only to look right ahead once he was done talking.

Usually, one would say don’t turn your back on your enemy, but he was the predator here, he had nothing to fear, I was the one shaking in my metaphorical boots. Deciding to not be useless, I was about to shuffle to the kitchen discretely when I saw him beckon me closer by bending his index finger. Thinking I could play it off as not having seen it, I took one step towards the kitchen when I heard him click his tongue over his teeth, “I said, come here.” Stopping dead in my tracks, I did not speak, and silently opened my bag to pull out my phone and start recording. His hand gripped the back of the couch and I heard him chuckle mockingly, “Ran said you were stupid, but we both know you’re not, now come.” Putting the phone properly on the furniture, I followed his order and walked up to him to stand right in front of him, my arms crossed over my chest to close my bathrobe up to my neck.

“How the fuck did you get in?” I spat. He was not driving, which meant he could not throw me out of a speeding car. He was not surrounded by other maniacs either, and if he had a gun and decided to shoot me, I would have proof of it. There was a semblance of safety, even amidst the fact that the man had broken in without caring. It led me to have some confidence.

The man grinned and leaned over, his elbows resting on his knees. His demeanor was one of a man in control, he knew he could do anything to me because I would bend, he said it himself, I was malleable. But not for lack of will, simply by fear. And if he kept bending me this much, I would not last long, I would break. As long as I feared him, he had the upper hand… but I was not feeling fearless yet. With a low chuckle, he simply said, “Broke in with pliers,” then showed me the pair of pliers lying on the couch. I glanced at my door and saw the chain of my lock was broken as he had said, but that loss of attention directed to him annoyed him. Snapping his fingers, he brought my attention back to him, “Here, you should make a double of your key-“ “I’m not doing that. First, you’ll pay me back for breaking my lock, then if you want to meet up for whatever you got planned for me, you pick a spot but not-“

My breath hitched when Hanma rapidly stood up, his form towering mine as he looked down at me with his hair falling randomly on his forehead. “We got a lotta confidence suddenly, don’t we? Go ahead, finish your sentence, I’m listening.” He cooed in a condescending tone, his face approaching mine as he hovered slightly over me. Looking up at him, I looked down to his chest feeling my confidence wane slightly. When I tried to step back, not liking how close he was to me, he placed his hand on my shoulder to stop me. “Come on partner, let it all out, you seem to have a lot on your mind. Keeping it all bottled up ain’t gonna end up well. We should get along if we’re gonna work together, yeah?” He said in a fake listening attitude, we both knew he didn’t care but I was riled up and clenched my fists.

“I don’t want you in my house, you’re a piece of shit. I don’t want to get along, I want you to fuck off—Get out.” I managed to say everything without stuttering, but his grip tightened on my shoulder, making me tense up even if it was not painfully tight. Simply knowing that nothing was holding him back, not his mind, nor his ethics, nothing. His mood was the turning point of his actions, which means one change of emotion could make him go feral and hit me, it scared me. Hissing mockingly, he tilted my chin up to make me look at him, a smirk adorning his face, “Make me leave then, do something about it.” Grabbing both my shoulders, he pushed me back slightly then spread his arms wide, a huge smile on his face, “Go ahead, I won’t do anything—it’s free hits,” He taunted. When I did not move, he pointed at his face and licked his lips like an animal looking at its next meal.

“Do it, show me your guts, little rat! I hit you right? I put a gun to your head, that must be so annoying, right?” Biting the inside of my cheek, I could feel my frustration building up inside me again. He had done all those things, and no regret was written on his face, none. He had killed a man, broken inside my house, manhandled me and hit me. He had mocked me, humiliated me, mistreated me and while it all happened in a short time span, I already felt strongly about him. Reminding myself all that, I hadn’t realized the hit that flew from my person until it landed on his jaw, my fist feeling like it had hit a wall. His face turned to the side by the end of the action.

Using the heel of his hand to wipe the blood that dripped from his mouth, he looked at me with hooded eyes and grinned, his teeth colored red, “That’s hot, but ye shouldn’t have done that.”

[Part 2]

#tokyo revengers #hanma shuji #hanma x reader #hanma shuji x reader #fanfiction #writing #writers #physicalturian AO3 #physicalturian #deranged love #archive of our own #tokyo revengers hanma #tokyo revengers x reader

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lunetteslooneyfangirlingblog · 2 years ago

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I’m probably the only one who’s perfectly fine with Roger. I know others dislike him for contributing to Doofenshmirtz’s backstories, however, none of his actions were done with malice (none that I can remember, at least). The only moments I recall where he hurt Heinz was three times; There was when he put his name on his mother, which we have no proof that he did to hurt Heinz or if he was being cute and Heinz misunderstood. When he ruined Heinz’s masterpiece, which was Heinz’s own fault, actually. And when he made Heinz Mayor during the Beak episode, by which point Heinz made it clear, to even him, that he hates Roger. (Plus, Heinz made a bid deal about being in charge, so maybe he was being petty while saving himself.) Even then, that’s ONE thing he did that was outright malicious. The rest was his parents being jerks and playing favorites, something he had no control over as a kid. I’ve seen others say that he’s just as guilty as his parents as he noticed all the stuff they did to Heinz but, again, he was a KID and probably had no idea back then that what his parents were doing was messed up. Likely, he didn’t think about it. (Plus, the backstories are Heinz’s memories, so we’re getting a very biased view there.) And at first—before Heinz started trying to use inators on him—he obviously cared about his brother. He was genuinely upset in college when “he” ruined Heinz’s artwork and worked for over 20 years to restore it and presented it in front of a crowd of people, announcing that his brother was a great artist so he could get the recognition he craved and deserved. Again it was only later in the series when he stopped caring and by them, he had been the target of several petty crimes just for being a “goody two shoes.” I’ll grant you we see him being nice to Heinz often, but we don’t see him being outright mean, and we never see Heinz being kind to him even once. Roger at least tried. But I digress. Roger is clearly a politician looking for votes and such but he’s still a decent guy who helps people and never abuses his power while being a good uncle to Vanessa. His biggest flaw seems to be that he's (willfully?) ignorant of the way his parents treated his brother, which I think could be easily solved with a heart-to-heart talk that I hope will be in the new seasons. (Probably not though.) I also, ironically like the relationship between Heinz and Roger as I find it interesting with fanfic potential. (Btw, don't think this is an anti-Heinz post. I love the guy just as much as anybody else. I just think Roger gets an unfair shake.)

Phineas and Ferb fans:

another poll!

Explain your answer in the notes if you can ! I'm doing these polls because I'm curious about the opinions of other P&F fans, so I'm also curious about why y'all have those opinions!

#This started as one thing originally then became this #Ah my first unpopular PnF opinion #more to come I'm sure #pnf meta #pnf #roger doofenshmirtz #roger doofenshmirtz defense #kinda #Don't get me wrong he needs to make up for his ignorance to Heinz's plight #but I don't think her deserves the hate #their parents on the other hand...#heinz doofenshmirtz #phineas and ferb

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atinydise · 4 years ago

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Ateez reacting to the other members not liking their s/o (part 2)

❦ Genre: Fluff, a tiny bit of angst.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: 3K7.

❦ Requested: Omg yes lol, thank you! 🦋

❦ A/N Note: ⚠️Since I took an eternity to post it, I advice to read the first part again (or for the first time)! Thank you for liking the 1st one tho! hehe

HONGJOONG

It's been 3 weeks since your altercation with the boys. You didn't talk to your boyfriend yet and he was really sad. He was trying to call you every day at least once, but your phone rang one time and the voicemail welcomed him. You were the only one he wanted to talk with right now. And he wanted to fix this situation as well. "Hyung, do you want to play with-" started San, handing the console remote to him. Still angry at them, he didn't bother to glance or reply neither. He just slammed the door's room loudly. "Us." Finished San. "He's still mad." Declared Yeosang. "Congrats Genius. You found this deduction by yourself?" Asked San, ironically. Yeosang ignored his comment and took his phone. "Where's Y/N working already?" "I don't know. In a café or something." "Where?" "Itaewon." "Okay then put some pants on." "What? Why?" "Wow Sherlock." Replied Yeosang in the same tone San used later. "We are going to apologize to her. Hongjoong was obviously happier with her." "And he didn't have this serial killer look." "Let's go." Claimed Yeosang.

The 2 boys entered at least 16 cafés to find where you were working. They were about to give up when San spotted you, cleaning a table under the terrace. "Y/N! Y/N!" Yelled San, running crazily. You thought that you were dreaming when you saw these 2. It almost felt unreal since they never gave you attention. "What is happening? Are you guys, okay?" "We are really sorry Y/N." They both bowed respectfully. "We had wrong assumptions about you. We are really ashamed of ourselves." Continued Yeosang. "You were not taking advantage of Hongjoong Hyung. But in fact, you made him happier." You felt bad to know that your boyfriend was sad because of this situation. "It's okay..." you smiled nervously. "I guess that you wanted to protect him." Yeosang and San nodded. They were really sorry. "Lift your head boys. We are fine now." "There's a last person you need to be fine with." Added Yeosang. San and you stared at him weirdly. He pointed at the other side of the street, where Hongjoong was smiling at the warming scene. San, completely unaware of this plan, whispered to Yeosang: "how did you planned this? And when?" "You know how long you take to put a pant on?" "Are you a genius?" "Why are you surprised?" Replied Yeosang. While they were talking about their strategy, you asked your manager, 15 minutes break and ran to your boyfriend. His arms were open, waiting for you. "Mission accomplished." Declared San happily. "Congrats Partner."

SEONGHWA

Just when the rest of the group entered the room, Seonghwa was waiting for them with a wide smile. "What is going on? And why are you smiling like that?" Asked Wooyoung. "Yeah. It's scary." Whispered San. "Well boys..." he started. "We have a guest tonight." "A guest? Your mom?" Hongjoong freaked out a bit. Judging that it was the best moment to appear, you came out of the kitchen, an awkward smile on your face. "Hello." You waved nervously. You saw all of their faces darkened at the moment they saw you. "What is she doing here Hyung?" Asked Jongho. "She came here to talk and to arrange the situation." Replied Seonghwa. "But who said that we wanted to talk to her?" Sighed Mingi. "Guys." You tried to interpose, but Seonghwa stopped you. "Let's talk comfortably in the kitchen." He smiled. Even if the boys were reticent, they walked one by one to the kitchen. All of them, taking an empty seat, except San who decided to seat on the counter. Seonghwa and you sat at the end of the table like 2 serial killers waiting for the justice. "I wanted to know why you hate Y/N so much." Started Seonghwa. "I'm sorry if I did something bad." You apologized. "But I would appreciate if you were honest with me instead of being so cold." "How are we supposed to act with you when we know you are just taking advantage of him?" Asked Hongjoong. Seonghwa raised a brow, "taking advantage of me?" "Yeah. She appeared right when we were rising in the charts and stuff like that." You stared at Seonghwa, who was still looking at you. You both busted in laughter. "They thought you were the one asking me out." Laughed Seonghwa. All the boys were confused. "I was the one insisting to date her. I was practically stalking her." "Creep." You whispered. "She had like no interest in me." "Yeah. Zero. Nothing. Nada. Rien. Nieten. Que Tchi. Walou.*" You added. "Hey." "Sorry." "So, you are telling us that we were wrong since-" "The beginning." "She was my prey. And I was the hunter." Smirked your boyfriend. "Seems like we had a misunderstood." Admitted Hongjoong. "Yeah. Seems like." "Can you be friendly with Y/N now?" They all nodded and apologized once again. "Cool! Now should we goo at the restaurant?" "Heck yeah! I could eat a whole bear!" Claimed Yunho. "Babe, do you want to come?" "Yeah sure." You finally accepted, not scared anymore to ruin the mood.

*Nada, Rien, Nieten, Que tchi, Walou: expression to say “nothing” in severals languages.

YUNHO

Your boyfriend was feeling down. He was working for his first k-dramas. he should be happy and in a good mood. But instead, he was simply acting well in front of the cameras and was almost depressed backstage. It wasn't right and you didn't like this at all. The rest of the members were trying to talk to him. In vain, he was simply ignoring them or spending most of the time at your apartment. This behavior would not help to solve this situation. Removing all of your bad thoughts, you planned a quick visit to the other members; especially Mingi and Wooyoung. ["What are you doing today babe?"] You sent a text to your boyfriend, praying that his schedule hasn't changed. ["I'm filming. My break is over in 10 minutes :(. Do you miss me?"] He replied. ["Always haha. Have fun filming too."] Now that you were sure that Yunho won't interfere in your plan, you paid your taxi and get straight to the building. You decided to use the stairs so you wouldn't have more time to think of a strategy. Just right when you entered the hallway, Wooyoung and Mingi were closing the door. For a quick second, the thought of running away settled in your mind. But Yunho's health and spirit were the most important things right now. "Hi." You greeted them. "Hello?" Started Mingi. "Yunho isn't there, he's-" "I came to talk with both of you actually." You said. "Yunho explained what happened 2 weeks ago." "Yeah sure." Growled Wooyoung. "I think it would be easier for us to get along if you tell me what is going on. What did I do wrong?" You asked. "We know you with another guy." Declared Mingi. "And you seemed close enough to hug for at least 2 long minutes." "Listen Y/N, we just don't want Yunho to suffer so we didn't tell him yet that you were seeing someone else." "Are you talking about this tall guy, with a lot of tattoos?" You raised a brow. They both nodded, reminding exactly every detail. "That's my cousin. He moved in Mexico. For his work. So yeah." You sighed. "I hug my family." Wooyoung and Mingi were looking at you dumbly. "Well... what a useless situation." You admitted. Wooyoung ran his hand through his hair and stepped forward you. "I guess you deserve apologies." "Instead of this, can we make a deal?" You offered. "Sure." "Let's get along." You handed both of your hands to each of them." "Deal." Mingi shook your hand, quickly followed by Wooyoung. Before leaving, you asked one last thing.

["Guess who's going to have a dinner with us tomorrow?"] Yunho instantly called you, wondering how you managed to take a selfie with his friends. ["I'm so happy that I could combust right now! How you managed to do this!"] ["Anything for my man!"]

YEOSANG

"Yeosang wait!" You followed him in the hallway. "I want to be alone for now." He replied, opening an empty backstage room. "But you just can't run away like that!" You held his wrist. "Y/N." "We can fix this. Or just at least try to live without them hating me." "I do not think they are ready to do that." Yeosang gently pushed your hand and entered the dark room. Before you could say anything else, he slammed the door in front of you. A quick and loud noise made you realize that he locked the door. Knowing that being loud or begging your boyfriend to open wouldn't help, you decided to fix the problem by yourself. "Okay! If you prefer to stay here and hide, then FINE! I'll handle it!" You gave a quick kick on the door and walked back on your previous step. "What a baby..." Without knocking, you opened ATEEZ' backstage room. They were all gathered around Hongjoong, probably claiming how much they hate you. "I have many things to say guys." You started. "And one by one." They were all looking at you as an alien who just came from another planet. "I'll start by you Kim Hongjoong! As a leader, you should be comprehensive and try to fix things which could hurt any members!" "Y-Y/N." "And you Park Seonghwa! Yeosang told me that you were the nicest here, but I only saw a rude and cold guy! I'm really disappointed." "Please-" "Yunho and Mingi." You sighed, putting your hands over your hips. "You were the first one who were nice with me. But something made you change your mind and you both kept hurting my feeling. Especially when you leave every room I enter." You said angrily. Both of them bent their head, feeling guilty. "Oh, and this trio!" You pointed at San, Wooyoung and Jongho. "I would appreciate if you could stop looking at me like you are looking at a trash. Surprise! It hurts my feelings too! Because YEAH! I have feelings!" You almost screamed. "So, tell me NOW, why you hate me so DAMN MUCH?!" A long silence settled after your monologue. The boys were looking at each other, waiting for one to talk. Hongjoong as a good leader, stepped forward. "We are sorry Y/N." They all bowed to you. You had no idea that your words would affect them that much. "Ah... Huh-Okay." You scratched your arm. "After Yeosang quick departure, we talked a bit about our behavior, and we concluded that we have zero reason to dislike you." Explained Hongjoong. "Let's trying to get along." Said Hongjoong. "For Yeosang." You accepted. "It might be hard for us because you were really not into our heart." Added Seonghwa. "Yeah, don't worry y'all made it clear." "But if you are important to Yeosang, then you are important for us." He said, smiling warmly. "Thank you. I truly appreciate that." You bowed back politely. "Now we just need to get Yeosang out of the room."

SAN

Seongwa entered the kitchen. He was surprised to see San and Wooyoung actually sitting at the same table. San was eating his cereal and Wooyoung was scrolling on his phone. It almost felt like a random and good day. Until Seonghwa asked: "You are finally getting along again? It's a good thing!" San sighed, "why should I get alone with this guy?" "Oh no..." "Just ignore me like you used to do. I'm fine with it." Said Wooyoung, rolling his eyes. "Okay, I should have stayed quiet." Whispered Seonghwa. "Exactly like him. He should have shut his mouth." Replied San, leaving the room, bowl in his hand. "I said that to help you!" He shouted. "Jung Wooyoung." Called Seonghwa seriously. "You should fix it." "Me? Why? It's him which was dating this girl! And you weren't liking her too, right?" "Yeah, but have you seen San these days? He's barely smiling or talking to us." He replied. "You need to fix this. And today." "Today?! Hyung! Come on." Growled Wooyooung. "Not my problem." Honestly, this task wasn't helping Wooyoung to like you, but he needed to do or at least try something for his friend.

That's why, now, he was waiting at the restaurant next to your college. You said that you would show up, but he wasn't sure about that. Until, you sat, in front of him. "Hello?" He greeted you. "Hi." "Okay... I'll be totally sincere and straightforward with you." "As you always do." Wooyoung was surprised by your attitude. But in a good way. "I don't like you because I'm pretty sure you take advantage of my friend." You sneered. "How many times do I need to tell you that I don't give- that I don't care about his career." "What if he was an employee or a technician?" Asked Wooyoung. "Do you date people for their image? I'm not like that. I don't date him because he's an idol. I just love him. For his personality, his kindness. Everything that made San, our San." "You love him?" Said Wooyoung, surprised. "Yeah, of course I do." I thought it wasn't serious at all yet." "Well maybe if you tried to talk more and sooner with him or me, you'll know." "If you us to get along, you should be nicer." "And you, less rude." Wooyoung rubbed his forehead. You were stubborn as him. "How can we get along?" "Are you free right now?" "Huh, yeah?" "Cool. Let's hanging out without beating each other." You offered. "A-Are you sure it's a good idea?" He asked, not convinced. "Well, San, always says that people get closer around-" "A good meal." Finished Wooyoung. "Cool then let me call the waiter." You paused. "But you pay." "Argh... this woman." Sighed Wooyoung.

MINGI

Hongjoong sighed when he saw Mingi, eyes glued on his phone. It's been 2 weeks and still no sign of you. You declined all of his calls, ignored his messages even on social media and obviously you were not sleeping in your apartment anymore. "Mingi, your view is going to be terrible if you don't leave this damn phone." Scolded Hongjoong. The tall boy gave him a dark look. "My view would be fine if you've learned Y/N better. Instead of judging her." Seonghwa growled next do the leader. "Here we go again." Mingi rolled his eyes, still pissed by this behavior. "Yeah, here we go again." He repeated. "It will be like that until Y/N accept to talk to me again. Or just listen to me." "Why does it matter so much?" Asked Seonghwa. "Because she's the one. Why? I don't know. I just feel it. She's the only one I need." Hongjoong and Seonghwa exchanged a quick, guilty glance. "Y'all decided that she wasn't made for me because of a stupid "instinct". Mingi air quoted. "We are trying to help you. We know how sensitive you are." Declared Hongjoong. "Then why do you need to put me in this situation? You are the only ones who are hurting me right now." He finished, plopping angrily on the sofa. The 2 boys remained quiet for a second, looking at each other. Finally, Seonghwa asked: "Okay so how can we help you?" Mingi smirked, when he finally heard those magical worlds. It was exactly what he wanted since these past weeks. "Okay call everyone here." He ordered.

You were sadly applying your night cream on your face. Since your break-up with Mingi, your skin decided to be terrible dry and itchy. You were the worst. Tired of this situation, you buried your face on your arms. You shivered a little when your forehead touched the cold surface. "It's a beautiful night, we're looking for something dumb to do. Hey baby I think I wanna marry you!"* You didn't need to hear it twice to recognize Mingi's voice. Not believing that he did something like this, you rushed to the window. At your big surprise, he wasn't alone. The other members were there too: Hongjoong was holding the phone and speaker, while the rest of the group was holding a sheet of paper saying, "Can you forgive us?" But Yeosang was holding the quote mark in the wrong side. "Song Mingi! Are you crazy!" "Crazy of you!" The members gagged behind him. "We all want to apologize for treating you this way." Claimed Yunho, louder than the music. You were affected by this effort. They all realized that you were not a bad person. "If you accept our apologies than come here so we can have a discussion." Declared Seonghwa, speaking for the whole group. "Got it, I'm coming. Do y'all need snacks?" They all yelled and shouted an incredible about of snacks' brands in only few seconds. Mingi winked at you. Your kindness got them. And food too.

*Song reference: Marry You by Bruno Mars.

WOOYOUNG

Your roommate entered the library again. She couldn't help but to let out a quick sigh when she saw you: your head buried behind a ton of books, which didn't seem interesting. "You didn't move since I left this morning." She sat in front of you. "I need to pass this exam." "You could have at least answered to your phone. I wanted to have a lunch with you." "I forgot my phone." You shrugged. "Did you really forget your phone?" She raised a brow. "Or you made sure to let it on your bed? To avoid texting Wooyoung?" "Study is the only thing that keep me away from my problems." You sighed. "You should confront your problems." Advised your roommate. "I can't. Nobody can force someone to like them." "It's not true. You can do it." She replied. "Meg...." you rubbed your nose. "Even if I want to. I can't." Your roommate opened her mouth to prove you the opposite, but finally she decided to stay quiet and open her books instead. This silence lasted only 30 minutes before someone tapped your shoulders. "Ye- Yunho?!" You freaked out. "Hi." He scratched his head, embarrassed. "Is everything okay? Wooyoung is sick? And how did you manage to find me?" "I'll let you talk in peace. I have my science lesson anyway." Said Megan, burying her books in her bag, before leaving." "See you later Y/N." "Is everything okay?" You repeated. "Yeah, don't worry. Wooyoung is fine." You sighed in relief. "Fine but sad though. He's missing you." "I do too but... I don't want to interfere with his career. I got it. It's important for you and the rest of the members as well." You claimed, sadly. "It is. But we only thought about the group and our success." He added. "It's a complete selfish behavior." "It's okay." You smiled nervously. "You wanted the best for the group." "I can understand if you don't want to forgive us, but we are truly sorry." "For Wooyoung, we should try to get along. And to find the right way to move on." Yunho nodded, happy that you didn't plan a revenge. "So... you are the one who decided to come here? So brave." "Hm... honestly, we are all here except Wooyoung. But I'm the only one who succeeded to jump the gate. "W-Who what?" "If you hear security guard running here than we should run too." "The heck-"

JONGHO

"I can't believe we hide ourselves for 3 hours now." You complained, shoving your hand in a pack of candies. "What do you want to do? Confront them?" You raised a brow, "yeah! We should." "Come on Y/N, we don't even know why they don't like you." "That's why we should open the door, enter the living-room and ask all of them." Jongho sighed, "Y/N." "Jongho." A long eye-contact battle started between both of you. The one who is going to blink will be the winner. "I won't give up." You said. "And I won't give up too." Your eyes started to feel dry and itchy when a loud knock resonated in the whole room. "Jongho, Y/N. Come in the living room please." Requested Yunho." Jongho got out of the bed the first one, you simply followed him. The room was just next to the living-room, but it felt so long at the same time. Your boyfriend gulped and your hands became moist. "We are coming Hyung." Jongho got out of the bed the first one, you simply followed him. The room was just next to the living-room, but it felt so long at the same time. "Why do you want to talk about?" Asked Hongjoong, sitting next to the coffee table. "You asked if we had a particular hate toward Y/N." Replied San. "And yeah, a bit." "At least that's straightforward." You whispered. "Can I know why?" "Well, you made Jongho cry just after 5 days of relationship." The maknae facepalmed and blushed at the same time. "I what? You cried?!" You looked at your boyfriend shocked. "Yeah... it was our first argument. You were really really really mad, and I was so nervous! I was having a mental breakdown and it just happened." He explained. "Only 5 days of relationship." Repeated Yeosang. "So how he would be after 2 years? Depressed?" "Argh no! Of course not. And that's not my intention." You tried to justify yourself. "And an argument is normal for a couple..." "Even after 5 days?" "Seonghwa Hyung..." whispered Jongho. "Yes, it is!" You raised your voice. "You'll understand when you'll get someone in your life." "Y/N." Called Jongho. "I really like Jongho. I don't want to hurt him." You started. "Yes, we have arguments, yes, we cry, yes we ghost each other for few hours or even days. BUT! We will always be going through it." You held Jongho's hand in yours. "Right?" He nodded, completely agreeing with you. "So... I know y'all won’t change your mind instantly, but I'm ready to wait that you give me a chance." You stood up. "here are you going?" Asked Jongho. "Going back home. Maybe you should have a talk with them. "Yeah. We need to gather and explain this situation." Acquiesced Jongho. "See." You winked. "I'll come back tomorrow don't worry." "Okay then." "Thank you for having a talk with us." You thanked the boys. "I really hope you can see me as someone who only wants Jongho's happiness." "We do." Smiled Wooyoung.

#ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez reactions #ateez fluff #ateez x reader #ateez #ateez x atiny #ateez x you #ateez writings #ateez kpop #ateez cute

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awkwardgtace · 3 years ago

Text

Results of Expectations Part 1

This started as a streamer au for like all my ocs....then i decided to traumatize Mira. Yeah it's still kind of streamers and podcasts and stuff but it's very backend lol

TW: Panic, sort of panic attacks, a bit of dehumanization, IDK What else as always please tell me

Part 2 | Part 3

Results of Expectations Part 1

“Thanks for watching, we’ll pick this up next time! Signing off,” Mira smiled as she ended her stream.

It was always fun to have talks with her chat, but lately it’s just been questions about her size and what she looks like. It wasn’t like she was the only one who hid her size, but the others usually talked about things that gave good ideas. She laid her head on her arms, it was tiring. Her phone buzzed and lit up with a name that made her laugh. Ian should probably have changed handles from NervousGamer before streaming. She pulled her phone close and sent him the go ahead to call.

“Hey Ian,” she said, as soon as the call came through.

“Hey,” he chuckled, he was nervous. “How are you?”

“Ian, what’s on your mind? Talk to me!” She was putting on a begging act to get him to talk. She heard the deep sigh and knew she’d got him.

“I…Mik wants to tag along today. He’s worried since you don’t know if this guy is really human. He’d rather you get mad at him grabbing you and leaving than freeze up with a stranger… I would rather him go too.” He added the last part hastily.

“Ian… You and I both know I’ll be fine.” She could hear the lie in her own voice. Ian definitely heard it too. “I’ve been talking to Corus for months, there’s no way he’s a giant. He’s a human. He understood the stuff I’ve mentioned that only humans would. So there’s no reason for M-Mikhail to come with, at all.”

“Mira… you know he won’t hurt you. He’s like a really big brother. It’ll be fine. I’d go too and we’ll stay far away, even leave if he’s a human. Please?”

“Ian, trust me, I’ll be fine. I have to get ready anyway. I'll keep you updated, promise.”

She hung up quickly, trying to steady her hands. She had to get over everything for at least her family. They had giants in their lives and she couldn’t just ignore them. She could at least see them and keep going instead of freezing up. She closed her eyes and took some deep breaths. She had to get ready and go to meet Corus. A human that didn’t know her history was going to be a fun change. He said he moved here a few months ago. Plus he seemed to get the whole no control and hands thing too which was nice. It helped that he was cute for sure.

Corus was antsy as Delphia helped to fix his hair. He was hopeless with fashion, but couldn’t risk looking like a mess today. He’d been counting the days to this meetup, Mira was great. He’d planned this day since they first did a video together. She had been so nervous at first, he never expected humans to be what got her comfortable. Delphia stepped away and seemed to be happy with her work. He stood up and turned to face her, pulling his shirt down again.

“How do I look Del?” he asked. She studied him for a minute.

“Like a mess, but I’ve done all I can. I can’t hide your natural messiness,” she laughed. He acted like she’d shot him, his tongue hanging out of his mouth and a frown on his face. He smiled quickly though, today was too important.

“Thanks again. I don’t think I’d have ever been ready for this without you.” He pulled her into a hug and she patted his back before pulling away.

“Did you do what I said?”

“I told you she’s a giant, it won't matter. There’s no way I misunderstood. She's funny, amazing, kind, I’m sure she’s beautiful too. This will be great.”

“Corus, neither of you ever asked and you set all of this up. Please tell me you listened at least. I thought Ash was a giant after talking with them. It would have been awful if I didn’t know Alessia was human and only planned for giants.”

“Don’t worry Del, I did listen at least. I made sure to pick the park to meet so there’s no chance of trouble from a building. I also planned for us to get food at one of the new places that have every table set for humans and giants. Nothing can go wrong.”

“Just be careful, and don’t be too grabby if she is a human. She may not spend a lot of time around giants when she’s a streamer.”

“I know-” He planned to say more, but his phone beeped. Her stream ended which means he has to go. He waved quickly before running out.

The park wasn’t far and he wanted to be early. He picked a bench that was about midway for either size. He hoped she was a giant, but he wouldn’t change how he felt if she were human. He had every intention to ask her on a real date today. If she said no then they continue on as friends, but he was hopeful. He stared at his phone waiting for the message that said she was on her way.

Mira did one last thorough check in her mirror. A simple black shirt with jeans. They were just two friends meeting, although she definitely wouldn’t mind misunderstanding and this being a date. She pulled her phone out and snapped the picture that would seal her fate. The first image she’d be sending of herself to someone outside her small circle in years. She typed out a quick here’s how I look today before sending. She almost screamed when she got a picture back. Corus sitting in the park, he looked great. She shoved her phone away before her doubts could stop her.

She had called a car to get her there. It wasn’t too far, but walking near giants was…a lot. She was lucky she didn’t have to go out around giants basically ever. If only the ones her family knew could leave her alone. She knew they meant well, but after the way Ian and Mikhail even became friends she didn’t want to risk knowing any. At least Ian felt safe around one and that one would go with him to meet and greets. She shook her head to clear her thoughts as the park came into view.

She hopped out quickly with a quiet thank you before rushing to the human side of the path. She just had to reach Corus before another giant showed up. If another human was around then the giant was less of a risk. She made her way to their meeting spot, panic hitting her when she noticed the large feet up ahead. She felt her breathing start to grow rapid, she just had to get to the spot and wait. She’d message Corus and he’d show up and she could be ok. It almost never mattered who it was, a human made her at least able to handle being near giants. She took a chance to look up, if it was Mikhail she was going to kill Ian.

She almost screamed when she got a look at the giant face. The face that was supposed to be meeting her. That should be on the human bench that was too close to the giant feet. She couldn’t breathe, tears started to pour from her eyes. She was shaking and couldn’t get her legs to move. The giant would see her, know it was her, and grab her. She had to leave, she needed to leave. She watched in fear as the giant foot ahead of her lifted slightly slamming back down. She yelped as she fell back, staring up in fear as the giant head slowly turned to look down.

Corus was starting to get nervous. She had said she lived close, she shouldn’t take too long. She hadn’t sent him anything, maybe she was a human? Close for them usually was a lot slower than giants. He tapped his foot, freezing when he heard a small yelp. He looked down and saw a human knocked over, he must have scared them. He kept his eyes on them as he turned and kneeled to check on them. They had strange hair, bright…lavender?

“Mira?” he asked excitedly. He was honestly confused, he was positive she was a giant. How did Delphia always know these things? He reached forward planning to help lift her back to her feet, but he noticed her shaking before he touched her. Did he almost hurt her? He changed plans, stopping with his hand just a bit above and ahead of her so she could use it to get up. “Are you ok?”

He felt small hands against his fingers, the gentle pressure of pushing against him. He took the hint pulling his hand back. He tried to smile at her, to look gentle. He knew some humans still had nerves around giants, but he could manage this. He didn’t know if he should try to get lower or if that would make her upset. He just wanted a chance, she was perfect and he didn’t want her to hate him. He pulled his hand completely away putting it on his knee. She was still shaking. He hoped she wasn’t crying.

“Hey, uh do you still want to go get lunch?” he tried. That seemed to set her off, he watched as she jumped to her feet and started backing away. “Mira I-”

She was running. He couldn’t go after her, it would only make things worse. He just sat there staring at the little human he desperately wanted to turn around and come back. He just watched as she ran out of the park, was he that bad? He pulled out his phone planning to message Delphia. He took another glance at her and saw the worst thing he could imagine. Mira was running into the human street with a car coming right at her. He acted without thinking.

Mira kept hearing the voices of back then. Talking around her how she was cute and her new sibling would be so happy. The awful month trapped with barely any food and water. Different memories as she kept her world barely together. Bruises that had faded burning with pain. She just ran, she had to get away from here as soon as possible. She wouldn’t let another giant hurt her like that. They were awful and painful and she just had to get away.

Next thing she knew there was a blaring horn and bright lights. She froze as she saw the car coming at her. She was going to die, she couldn’t get her legs to move. Then she was in something warm and firm that felt familiar and awful. She started thrashing immediately, she hated this. This was a bad thing, this was something to hurt her. She started crying before her world filled with light again. She was shaking as soon as she found the giant blue eyes staring down at her. She was frozen again, a giant had her. She’d be trapped again.

Before she even had time to think there was yelling. Then another hand that moved her in a way that made her feel even worse. Then she was wrapped in arms, arms her size. She slowly turned towards the body that pressed into her and saw a face she knew. Ian was here. She grabbed him tightly, shaking only a little less. She took a careful look around, hand they were on hand. She grabbed him tighter, her shaking getting to a worse level and her start. She was pretty sure he said something, but her heart was pounding in her ears. Giants had them, giants would hurt them. Giants would trap them and torture them and kill them and the giant was moving.

She pulled Ian as close as possible. He was supposed to be with a good one. He was still a kid. Then he was pulling her and she was forced to follow. Ian took her to the ground, they had to run. She pulled on him, but he pulled her back. He started leading her somewhere. This was Ian, he was good, he was trustworthy. She followed him, stumbling over her own feet as she moved. Ian would only lead them somewhere good.

“Why were you holding her?” the man asked. His green eyes looked like he could burn right through him. Corus tried to watch what happened with Mira and the other human, but this man stepped in front of him. “I asked why you were holding her?”

“Sorry if you missed it, but she almost got hit by a car,” Corus answered. The stranger’s gaze softened slightly before flaring up again.

“I highly suggest you do not contact her again.” Corus tried to look around them, but they put out a hand to hold him back.

The stranger glared at him, but he wasn’t about to walk away. She ran like he was some monster, nearly getting hit by a car doing so. She seemed terrified when he was holding her, but she had nearly died. He was at least going to check on her. Hopefully they could work something out, maybe another chance. He at least wanted to stay friends even if she had a problem with giants usually. He sighed before finally turning away, the stranger just glaring after him the whole time.

Ian’s hold helped ground her a lot. It took almost the entire walk home, but she seemed to start coming back to the present. She slowly loosened her death grip on Ian and he smiled at her as she did. He kept them walking, he even kept them from being close to the giant paths. He was too good to her. By the time they reached her home Ian was barely holding her hand, she’d pulled the contact away. He waited patiently as she opened the door for them, then helped her inside. He sat her down on her couch and then took a spot next to her, pulling her close so her head rested on his shoulder. They stayed like that for a long time before she felt safe to even think again.

“...I’m glad you both came even though I said no,” she whispered. She felt the arm around her shoulders tighten before starting to rub her arm.

“To be honest, Mik had said he couldn’t let you risk it. Especially not with how you reacted to just trying to meet him. I didn’t disagree,” Ian admitted. She curled in on herself a bit more, leaning into the hold of someone who made sense. Someone her size. “Mira what happened?”

“I was fine and then I got there and there was a giant where we were meeting. I was going to message him, but then I looked up and it was him…” She had to take deep breaths to stop from crying. He’d been terrifying. The images in her mind holding a sneer and reaching to pluck her from her life. “Then I fell and he heard and he looked. Then his hand was there and I was running. Then bright lights and a honking horn and then his eyes. Then another hand then arms then you then the ground. Now we’re here…now I’m barely sure this isn’t some nightmare and I’m still there.”

“It’s ok Mira, I’ll stay until you feel safe again. Do you want me to call the others too?” She nodded into his chest.

He excused himself to walk outside, and make the calls. She knew one was to Mikhail too. She should thank him, even if Corus was safe she never would have managed to say anything. She would have had to rely on him deciding to put her down or call a human for help. If he even knew any humans. Every thought she had made things worse, he could have taken her. It could have been just like back then. Ian came back in and had her lay her head in his lap. At least she had a family that was the right size to help.

“Del, it was awful,” Corus whined. He hadn’t known anyone else to call or even talk to, going straight to Delphia. She was with her partners right now, but he couldn’t just sit on this. “She saw me, acted like I was going to-to kill her or something. Then almost got herself killed and some other guy showed up, grabbed her out of my hand and sent her off with someone who could have been a complete stranger to her. The guy then acted like I’d committed some awful act for even bothering to look at her. He basically threatened me not to reach out again.”

“I was getting worried that might happen,” Delphia sighed. He barely heard the soft voice of Alessia over the line. “What was the handle for her streams again? You never did tell me…”

“I wasn’t telling you cause she hides who she is. I was hoping you’d wind up meeting her so I thought it would be best.” He sighed. Delphia was asking for a reason he didn’t think he’d like it. He flopped onto his bed before he answered. Something about this made him feel like he’d be upset. He could hear Ash’s voice now too. If they were speaking up it had to be pretty bad. “I was meeting PinkEyedMiracle.”

“I knew it,” Alessia’s voice came through loudly. For someone so tiny she never failed to almost blow out his eardrums. “Look none of us can or will get into it, but there was no way that was going to go well. We grew up with her and it’s been like this for most of her life now. She can’t even face Vitus and Dabria who basically raised her. I’ll try to get her to at least be willing to talk to you, but I can’t promise anything. Delphia’s got to do us a favor now bye!!”

He had no time to respond before the line was dead. He stared at the phone for a while before deciding to open his chat with Mira. She didn’t seem to have blocked him yet. He scrolled up through months of chats, to the very first messages about working together. He needed to find where he messed up so badly. How could he have thought someone that terrified was a giant like him? How does he fix it?

It was a bit later than he wanted it to be, but he found his first clue. She said she hated going out lately. Everything in this town was so combined she was always on edge. He’d laughed and said he felt the same. That one still was a simple miscommunication. She was worried a giant would do something, he was worried he’d mess up and hurt a human. It was a clue, but definitely not an answer.

The next message was after they played a game offline together. She seemed really nervous and asked him about ten times if she could admit something. She’d said she was always terrified of the other size. She didn’t say which, and they had just played a horror game as humans escaping a giant together. He slapped his hand to his face, that one was pretty obvious. She said having him there was the only way she got through that game. He thought she’d meant being so small was terrifying, something he related to.

After that night there were so many obvious signs. She was terrified of meets after she heard about how bad things went for the human streamer NervousGamer. She wouldn’t meet this guy her friend had basically become brothers with because his size made her anxious. Of course he was a giant, maybe that was who pulled her from his hand. He tossed his phone on his desk, if he kept going he’d just see how blind he was. How was he going to fix this?

He rolled onto his back and stared at his ceiling. He could just leave it, that’s what that guy said to do. Alessia said she’d try to get her to talk to him. He sat up and stared at his phone. He could call her… He could maybe message her at least. Apologize for today and offer to make it up to her. Although what could she have been through to cause such a bad reaction? He groaned before reaching for his phone and staring at the last message in their chat. A picture of her before the meet up, the opposite of what he saw. She looked happy and confident, he wanted to see that face in person. He had to say something.

Mira spent the night curled up with her family around her. A group of kids who’d lost the people around them taken in by a couple with a soft heart. She loved Vitus and Dabria, even if they were giants. They had saved her, gave her a home where she still knew people, and they never made her talk to them. They were probably the only giants she could handle anymore. They were the only ones she knew wouldn’t do anything.

Alessia had her in a hug, Ash holding them both. The two were supposed to spend the night with their girlfriend, Delphia would have stayed here if she were human. Rhys and Ian were laying on each other on the couch, they fell asleep watching the movie they’d all put on. She slid out of the hug, smiling as Alessia rolled over snuggling into Ash. She carefully stepped out of the room taking a moment to breathe. She needed to think about things.

She had to check things, she had a lot she was supposed to do yesterday. She turned on her computer feeling a pang in her heart. She didn’t know if she wanted to see him say anything. She opened her chat app and saw the bubble she was dreading. She checked her email and posted an update while the bubble seemed to grow bigger on her screen. She hated this, she should get someone else to open it. She was running out of things to do and no one else was awake. She clicked the bubble, looking at a much longer message than she expected.

CorBuster: Hey Miracle, I kind of figured you may want me going back to your name on streams. Sorry I scared you so badly, guess I should have been more obvious I was a giant. I know some humans are pretty nervous. My best guess is I almost stepped on you when I tapped my foot. I was sure you were a giant, but that doesn’t excuse that I wasn’t paying attention. I’m sorry I grabbed you too, I hadn’t planned to go after you I swear. I just saw you heading towards the street and the car coming. I had to do something, I probably could have done something else if I thought about it for more than a second.

If you’re willing could we talk? On the phone or online or even chat like this. I just… Look I really like you and had been planning to ask you on a date officially last night. I don’t plan to push it or anything, but I would like to stay friends. Finish the games we were playing on and off stream. Fuck I might delete this before you even see it. This is stupid that guy told me not to bother you again, but I can’t just forget this. I don’t know why I’m even writing this part, I’ve typed this whole message like six times and deleted it all. I probably won’t even send this. I’m pretty sure the sun is coming up, I hope if I do hit send you think about it. If I don’t hit send I guess I hope you message me….asdfkajfwoihfasklj;nfv;llkjaf

She couldn’t help but laugh at the end. He had done that a lot in their talks, passing out because he stayed up too late. It was part of why she started talking to him more. She didn’t want him to hurt himself just to try and be popular online. She checked the time stamp, he sent it two hours ago. She could just pretend she never saw it, let him wake up and probably delete it.

Alessia had said she thought it was worth talking with him. She couldn’t even start to think of how to start. She had a panic attack and nearly died to desperately get away from him. It wasn’t easy to say she had a horrible fear of giants and actively spent her life avoiding anything to do with them. The only ones that she could even speak to were Vitus and Dabria, but that had to be done one at a time while she was hidden in her home. She can’t remember the last time she actually looked at one of them.

She sighed as she read the message again. At least she could handle telling him that it wasn’t exactly him that caused it. It didn’t help that she could still picture him only as the human she’d imagined. The giant yesterday felt like some horrible stranger. It was probably the only reason she could even stand to think about entertaining this idea. She started to type out a message.

PinkEyedMiracle: Look it’s…a lot to explain, but it wasn’t your fault. The only thing that happened was I should have asked if you were a giant before agreeing to meet you. Let’s just finish our current stream plans and call it done.

She hit send and tried to relax. She didn’t like that her hands were already shaking. That giant could never get near her again, Corus wasn’t that giant. Mikhail had put her down after getting her out of one hand. The giants aren’t bad, they aren’t going to do what the other did. They aren’t going to ignore it if she were to disappear. She had to keep repeating it in her mind as she slowly curled in on herself. A ping sounded and she jolted upright.

CorBuster: I’m willing to listen. Mira I don’t want to lose you even if we just keep being friends. Can’t you tell me what’s going on?

PinkEyedMiracle: Even if I tell you it won’t matter. No offense, but I’ve been through it plenty of times. Besides, I don't want to type out everything and have it sitting there where I can see it again and again.

CorBuster: Let’s video chat, just one time please. Just one chance.

PinkEyedMiracle is typing…

PinkEyedMiracle: …fine…

Corus was vibrating, she had agreed. He could barely wait, hitting the call and waiting for her to answer. She answered, it was so funny how they felt the same size right now. She didn’t look like herself. She seemed small, scared, like the person he’d known couldn’t possibly exist. This wasn’t Mira, the person he learned about slowly over months. This wasn’t PinkEyedMiracle the famous streamer who kept millions entertained almost daily. This was someone completely new. He wanted to know this Mira, this one felt more real.

He watched her as her face seemed to twist when it met his eyes. He wanted that to be the bright smile he’d seen for months. How could he fix this? Did she hate the idea of being with giants? It could be that she had a bad ex or something. He just wanted to keep his friend at least. He had an idea that may backfire, but it was worth a shot to get her to loosen up.

“So,” he started, she jumped and he felt an ache in his heart. “Giants suck. They’re all loud and grabby, and uh big.”

Mira chuckled at Corus’s attempt to help calm her down. That smile that had been something she was so excited for lit up her screen. He looked so human like this. Nothing that made it seem like he was a giant, like he could grab her and lock her away. She had to take deep breaths to push away those thoughts. He cared about her and she cared about him more than she ever thought she could about a giant.

“Look Corus, I…” she tried. She has to explain so much. A lot is horrible. “It’s probably easier if you just go back like sixteen years to find the articles about it. Although none of them mentioned much on the humans, just the poor giant kid who had their life ruined.”

Corus wasn’t sure if she meant for him to do it now, but she wasn’t continuing. He did look it up, a giant kid who had their life ruined and humans were involved. There weren’t many stories about that overall. There was one that came up that took place in this town. She had said she grew up here. The headline alone made him pray that he was horribly wrong. Human girl found with giant sibling after missing for over a month. He clicked the link, the images were all of the giant child and their family. It didn’t look like a single human was even spoken to or directly about.

He started reading and he felt himself getting sick. A giant couple had recently started to adopt orphaned humans. The first the couple took in had supposedly been doing fine and they took in a second. The second had lost her parents to an accident that happened between humans and giants. The girl hadn’t been seen after spending a day with her new family, a large assumption was she was healing. The giant couple claimed they hadn’t even reported her missing because they wanted to keep adopting humans. They were sure she’d come home when she was ready.

“Mira is this-” he tried to ask. He didn’t want to keep going if it wasn’t her.

“Keep reading,” she cut him off. He nodded.

The article didn’t go into much detail on what happened to the humans. It barely mentioned even their status after they were found. It did mention the first human child had been found deceased. Their second child was found after a concerned parent of her friend forced himself into her new home. He started searching and calling out for her when he noticed the couple’s child eyeing a box with a fierce look. The child tried to stop him, but he had forced them aside. He lifted the box, tearing it open and finding the girl. Reports on the human girl said she was emaciated and screamed in fear as the giant who found her went to hold her.

Apparently his wife had come along and took the girl to the hospital. Then the concerned father started searching through the boxes the child kept in the room. The other adopted human was found along with a number of missing humans from the town. All of them deceased. The giant child was charged with murder and sent to serve their sentence in a giants only prison. They were added to the human risk registry banning them from locations that humans lived unless their surviving victim spoke up for their growth. The child’s parents desperately apologized and wanted forgiveness from the human they had meant to take in. He couldn’t read anymore as it just turned into trash about how humans ruin the lives of prominent giants. Seemed like the one who wrote it was just a prick.

“Were you really the one who survived?” he asked. Mira looked up at him with a fiery anger that felt out of place. Anger was probably better to feel about that though.

“Yes I’m the one who barely survived some sicko locking me in a box after my parents were killed,” she seethed. “I don’t care what you say I will never state they deserve to be around humans again. There’s no way anyone like you could understand what that was like for me!”

“Mira I-”

“It’s easy for all of you to say move past and I can’t hold onto it forever! You didn’t fear for your life every day. Hear how people casually discussed you running away or hiding from them like it was just inevitable!”

“Mira… please let me-”

“Go ahead tell me how you think I’m just some cruel size focused bitch. I already heard it all before. You can take all the-”

“Mira!” She seemed to see him again, bright pink eyes filled with fear. He felt awful, he scared her again. “I don’t think you should be over it. I want to punch that person who did all of that and then personally thank your friend’s parents.”

“...what?”

Corus was the only giant outside of Vitus and Dabria who didn’t think she had to change. Delphia and Mikhail knew there was something, but she made the others promise never to tell them. She didn’t want to have them face the comments she’d heard before. Vitus and Dabria heard it all before and they swear these giants wouldn’t think like that. She wanted to believe them, but no one she’d met felt that way. It’s been years and there were others she told, humans always understood and giants always said they were different. The worst giants said she should just get them off the registry, they were only a kid when it happened. So was she…

“I well I think what you went through was awful and wish I could have stopped it. I can’t see where anyone would think you should just get over this,” he said. She watched as he rubbed his neck, cameras made giants so deceptively human. “If people have been saying that to you then I think they’re just focusing on the wrong part. That kid’s life was ruined because they treated people like trash and hurt them. That couple claiming they had no idea seems off too.”

“I need to go,” she said and shut her computer down. She nearly jumped away from the thing. He didn’t mean that, he was lying to her. He just wanted her to believe him so he could keep her like they did. She didn’t even realize she kept backing away until she hit the wall, sliding down and hugging herself. Alessia ran in, she was probably eavesdropping. She held Mira quickly trying to soothe her. It wasn’t panic, this was something else. It was like he actually understood… “He didn’t say I should be over it…”

Corus didn’t have any time to try and stop her. The call ended before he processed what she said. He wanted to know more, more about what that kid did to her. He started searching, he couldn’t find much on any of it. It was like someone made sure all of it was gone. He found one thing though, the couple that had taken her in had their contact information up. He typed out a professional looking email asking for details on the old incident. They replied in seconds with a number happy to take his call immediately. He didn’t wait either, relieved when the line connected.

“Hi, it’s a pleasure to hear someone looking into this again,” Mrs. Ambul said. She sounded almost hopeful, he couldn’t help the way it made him upset. She was probably hopeful that her child would be let loose around humans again.

“I was looking for some new content when I came across the old article. It seemed like the focus was mostly on how someone had invaded your home and ruined your child’s life. Can you give me some details?” he asked. He tried to sound curious despite the anger he had burning inside thinking about Mira’s face. She had expected to be rejected and blamed for something there was no way she controlled.

“Oh well, our child had some strange interests. They thought it would help the humans if they stayed somewhere dark and quiet, like a way to grow up. The first human child we took in had a history of running away and the second had just lost her parents. We had no reason to assume a story that came from a book would cause such trouble.”

“According to the article, there were a number of other deceased humans found alongside the two adopted. Ones that had been going missing from the town for an extended period. Can you tell me more about that?”

“Well there seemed to be a bit of miscommunication in that original article.” He heard forced laughter, he had a bad feeling about this. “Those humans had all been homeless and snuck into my child’s room for warmth. They frequently complained it was too cold so we had a heater in their room year round. The humans got stuck and no one knew they were there, nothing like you’ve heard.”

“I see.” He was going to be sick with his next line. “This adds up to a lot of what I found. Do you think you could connect me with your child? I have a lot I need their take on. A lot that if heard I might be able to get public opinion on their side.”

“Oh well that’s wonderful, unfortunately they aren’t allowed to interact over the phone or internet outside of their giants only community. I can give you their address and let them know you plan to come by maybe today?” The joy in her voice made him want to scream. He couldn’t though, he had to hold back and keep this up. He would probably wind up punching this kid in the face though.

“Tomorrow may be better.”

The woman spoke too quickly for him to hear, but he got an email with an address and the line went dead. He stared at it for a while. That reaction from Mira wasn’t someone who’d been misunderstanding a child’s antics. Their kid was almost ten at the time too. These people made him sick and he would get to the bottom of how anyone could think this was normal. Another email came in from the woman with a list of names. Others she spoke to before they spoke to the human who lied about her child. Things were getting clearer now. The first bits of a plan formed in his head as the dread settled in his gut.

He sighed before pushing away from his desk, he’d need Delphia’s help with all of this. He grabbed his phone and sent her a message. He may need her to contact that podcast friend of hers. That list of names is long and it makes him have a feeling there’s a lot more that got hidden. First he’d need to get some kind of recorder. He wasn’t risking his phone failing on him out there. He got a call after a minute, a bit shocked to see a number he didn’t recognize.

“Hello?” he asked as he answered. He hoped it wasn’t someone telling him Mira hated him.

“Cor, it’s me. I’m with that podcast friend of mine now. My phone’s being used by him for something. What’s up?” Delphia’s voice came through. He smiled, this had to get done.

“Look, long story short I found out about something that makes me sick. I don’t want to explain how I know, but can we meet and talk? Can you both come here? I want to get information on this and it’s a lot I can’t do it on my own.” He heard muffled voices on the other end. Delphia was probably asking, it seemed like she was agreeing. She always had his back.

“Ok we’ll be over in a bit. We weren’t far anyway. Although my friend said if you waste his time you’re paying for what he’d been out here buying.”

“Tell him I’ll do it anyway. Let yourself in when you get here, I’m going to be on my computer searching for some things.”

As soon as they were off the phone he went searching. He found article after article about how an innocent young giant was punished because a human made up lies. Each person on that list had written one, a number of them had petitions to get the giant removed from the human danger registry. Sob stories about reuniting them with their parents. He was ready to go hunt each one down and teach them a lesson. How could they see the way she reacted to giants and think she was just holding a pointless grudge?

Something else started to eat at his mind, she said her parents were killed, but the article mentioned an accident. It would have to be close to when that first article was written. He started searching for information on that. He was coming up with nothing until he widened the search area. He found an article, Tragedy at the Human Roads. It was small, but had more than enough information. A giant collapsed and fell on a human road, causing a number of deaths. The article had a picture of human survivors and it may be a much younger version, but he saw Mira.

He jumped when he heard his door open. This was worse than he thought, he just hoped he could do something about this. He couldn’t make her less scared or anything, but he could make sure that the humans hurt finally got the attention they deserved. He turned to his door waiting for Delphia and her friend. When they walked in he jumped up, it was the guy from yesterday. He was just as stunned, staring daggers at Corus. This wasn’t going to be easy to get help then. Delphia clapped, making them both look at her.

“I guess you two have met, Corus, this is Mikhail, Mikhail Corus,” she introduced them. Corus went back to his computer, closing the article on the accident and pulling up the main one he’d found on the creep of a kid. He stepped back again looking at them both.

“Obviously you already don’t like me, but just read these articles I found. I can’t just ignore all of this,” he explained.

Mikhail narrowed his eyes but approached the computer. Delphia leaned over his shoulder to read along. It wasn’t long before she had tears in her eyes and was backing away. She didn’t have the heart for all of this. Mikhail just kept reading, moving between each article slowly. Corus was getting worried he was actually on the side of the family that let humans like Mira suffer. Mikhail turned to face him once he reached the last article Corus had pulled up.

“What are you planning to do about this?” he asked. His voice sounded somewhat like when they met the day before. An anger thinly veiled under an air of decorum.

“I was curious after this, so I called the family from the article. They talked about how the human who survived misunderstood and how their child was being wrongfully punished,” Corus started.

“Are you intending to take their side in this?” Mikhail raised an eyebrow. That anger seemed to come forward more.

“I want to get the truth and have it reach as many people as possible. The last person the kid’s mother spoke with wrote an article a few years ago. I think if we work together we can make sure the truth about this kid gets out so there’s no risk to humans at all from them. A number of the articles spoke about reconsideration for the sentence. I have some ideas on how to help humans who deal with this too.”

“Corus, I need you to tell us, does this have to do with Mira?” Delphia asked. He knew the look in her eyes, he couldn’t get away with hiding it. He stiffly nodded and the two shared a look. Delphia turned back to him with a strength he didn’t expect. “What’s the plan?”

Mira hadn’t handled the call well. She shouldn’t have even spoken to him. She should have made up some excuse for all of this instead. Alessia had spent the whole day petting her head. Vitus came by at one point, the others had to talk to him. She couldn’t get over how loud he was with each word. He was trying too, but it was too much. Her mind kept thinking of a hand grabbing her, putting her somewhere she can’t escape. Of a single move that would end the lives of everyone around her. His steps as he left made her shake.

“Mira… this time it’s worse than normal isn’t it?” Ian asked. She nodded. Ian was supposed to go to a store with Mikhail today, but she panicked when she saw Ian walk towards his feet. She was going to ruin their relationships like this. Delphia had been on the phone with Ash a lot too, she was making them put things off.

“You guys should go, I’ll be fine,” she said. She was still shaking, this was the first time she’d been held since then. Then she spoke to him and he empathized, it left her mind a mess. She felt a squeeze on her hand and followed the arm up to Rhys’s eyes.

“We’re not going anywhere,” he said. “It’s just like when we were younger, extended sleep over. Maybe we can convince Dabria to get us a giant candy again. That time Vitus was so mad, but he never did anything. He said we looked too happy for him to really be angry at us.”

The others laughed, but Mira just smiled. She remembered that day differently. The giant candy and eating bits of it they handed to her. The others passed out from sugar crashes while she stayed up nervous and anxious. Vitus coming to check on them, shaking in fear when she saw the anger on his face. He hadn’t seen her awake, his hand coming in towards them. She could barely breathe as he took the candy from them. She heard him murmur then walk away, a tense moment that ended with her crying herself to sleep in fear he’d come back.

Part 2 | Part 3

#OC:Mira #OC:Corus #OC:Ian #OC:Mikhail/Mik #OC:Mik/Mikhail #OC:Rhys #OC:Seer/Delphia #OC:Ash #OC:Alessia #OC:Vitus #OC:Dabria #SortOfStreamerAU #gt #g/t #gianttiny #giant/tiny #gt writing #g/t writing

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chancelin-blog · 7 months ago

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I see! I think we misunderstood each other, and we disagree on the specifics of bad. What I mean by "Sarcean was the good guy all along" is the conclusion that he was narratively correct in everything he did (even if he did it by brutal means in response to a brutal system). I want him to be both "he did the wrong things for the right reasons" and "he did the wrong things for the wrong reasons". In some ways, I think yes it is incredibly likely the Light had to be dismantled, and Sarcean's methods may have been violent but necessary. However, the main reason why I see a lot of people dislike deteething Sarcean morality on a personal level is because it would make Will's conflict with himself much less nuanced. I'm not sure how earnest "Sarcean did nothing wrong" is. I'm traumatised by the "Griffith did nothing wrong" meme from Berserk, so I'll just take Sarcean's at face value and ignore Griffith's😂

I know I've stated a couple of times that in my eyes Sarcean's treatment of Anharion should be reprehensible, and in the worst case, yes, he coerces and/or forces Anharion to submit to him. I'm more fluid in just how reprehensible his actions were. Was it r*pe? Was it more dubious? I'm not sure (I tend to have a personal "if it's not enthusiastic then it's bad" approach in real life hence my harsh language, but I do get the nuances it could have for other people's relationships especially in fiction). It could have been a consequence of Anharion being under the Sun King's control and Sarcean having to take that control away by force. I'm not going to take away from the queer fantasy escapism read, oppressed people taking control of the institutions that oppressed them in the first place is a good time.

I still believe that Sarcean's actions towards not just the nameless faceless civilians (especially if the ends justify the means by how brutal Sarcean's adversaries were in return) should be confronted by Will, but also Sarcean's treatment of his loved ones as well, hence why I'm so adamant about Anharion/James's role and why I still stand by my Collar beliefs. That relationship is a much more personal conflict Will has been struggling with in regards to James framed by Sarcean and Anharion, and it is more complex than "don't commit collateral damage on random people standing in the way to your quest for justice". Don't get me wrong, making morally difficult choices because you feel like you have to is going to be a part of it, but I think that James/Anharion could be part of that conversation and not an exception. Just how bad it was could vary depending on circumstances (could have just been problematic BDSM etiquette I suppose, with very dubious circumstances). And this ties in to "Sarcean doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons", and what I dislike about having Sarcean's actions be simply just be a means to an end. But you know, it could also be a source of miscommunication and struggle for both Anharion and Sarcean, hence why there is so much baggage.

On the White Death, you got me there! I would love to read more if you can link me to some of the theories! I haven't been actively searching for Dark Heir theories in months except very surface level stuff so it would be great if I could catch up on some of it at least. I think I vaguely recall something relating to Visander's memories of the Lady and how he was brought back as a Returner.

For now Will's adversaries have been small potatoes compared to his predecessor, but Will has also been a very small potato next to Sarcean. And now that the floodgates for the past has been opened with Visander and Sarcean's army that Anharion alludes to rushing back from the dead, even more crazy stuff from the past is going to be unlocked, around and even within Will. I'm sure that exposing the Light for what a crappy job they have done to their own people and everyone else is going to be part of it. The external conflict would be convincing everyone that they are wrong about Will and whatever projections of evil they have of him, that the Light has been mistreating and failing their own people for generations since the beginning (including Sarcean), while the internal conflict should be the intimate and interpersonal challenges Will has to face about himself and who he is, and dealing with the personal successes and failings he shares with Sarcean. And then James and Will can both be able to understand and reconcile with the past and move towards their future.

No actually I do want Will to alter the landscape of Europe and by extension the system colonialism and destroy the British Empire that would be great.

The Question of the Collar & the Dark Rise Trilogy

I am pro collar. And Ill tell you why.

I have been seeing a couple posts on this topic and people go back and forth, but none have fully encapsulated what I see as being one of the biggest reasons I believe the collar is consensual and probably a kink. I also think there is a possibility it also allows free will, but today I shall argue for why I believe it’s consensual on James’s part, because that is where the doubt lies within the fandom it seems. It is very clear to me that Will is erotically enticed by the collar also, but who really needs convincing of that?

So, firstly, there are so many instances where we see that James is visibly turned on by the collar. See how Will acknowledges James in the quote below as looking already surrendered, and going “pliant as if the same hot gold ran like sweet need through his veins” :

James is clearly very turned on by the collar, it’s in the text in many instances. The words used here are evocative: need, pliant, sweet, and hot. Where do you see that kind of language other than in the erotica and romance genres? It then goes on to talk about how his shirt is open, how his eyes are glazed, and how he is “yielding”. Basically, this is a sex scene without the sex. The collar is an object of lust for the duo, and this is being communicated to the audience. Authors, when writing, do not use evocative language by accident. No. They paint a picture with words to influence their readers emotionally in the direction they want our minds to go. Every detail is planted on purpose when you are a good author. And Pacat is a good author!

But there is so much more. Here, in the next scene, James is seen wetting his lips:

Wetting one’s lips is a sign of attraction. If you don’t believe me, just Google it! We also have another scene where James’s pupils are blown wide when watching the collar in the throne room scene; yet another physical sign of attraction in a human being and something we see in novels all the time.

But Pacat goes further than just showing the physical signs of being turned on. If Anharion consented to a collar that controls him (to what extent it controls him, we are still unsure) we should see the signs that this is something he is possibly interested in emotionally. Or at least, something Anharion was interested in and James responds to at least on some level. And there are so, so many signs. This is shown through what he likes, shown through what he does, says, and what others say about him (not just Will, but Sinclair as well as others). Why is Pacat seeding all these comments about James’s need to serve, to please, other than to put in our minds that there is an aspect of James/Anharion's character that this is something he likes, and that it is a possibility that the collar might have been his choice in the past? It’s a kink for sure, and something James may determine he is not interested in in the next book, but for the sake of argument, look at the screencaps below:

Will is picking up on something about James’s personality, and James is relieved and perhaps surprised that he has been so transparent. It is clear to Will that James likes to take orders. After all, before he was Sinclair’s (the Dark Lord’s) man, he was the exemplary novitiate, wasn’t he?

In an even better example of this below, we see him kind of asking Will that Will's request for James to come to him after opening the gate become an order. But, why ask this? What purpose does it serve James to make Will give him an order? Why does James want it to be an order?

Will catches on and gets it, equally turned on. His lips curl (in a smile) and lowering your lashes is a sign of submission in human interaction; James is lowering his lashes showing submission to Will. James is aroused here too, because in the next moment he asks Will to kiss him.

We have it from others perspectives too, here below, we have Sinclair telling James he likes to serve, he is a born submissive and to “belong” to someone, echoing what James himself has said to Will countless times:

And just to top this with a cherry, Sinclair’s scene with James he tells us James, upon a successful mission, liked being praised and “sitting at his feet”. This calls to mind the imagery of the chain at the bottom of the throne.

In terms of similar character types in Pacat's work, Erasmus from Captive Prince comes to mind. He was a collared slave and we get some glorious descriptions with him being quite the submissive with the “lowered lashes” (ring any bells?) :

May I just interject to reiterate that the language around the collar is really so sexual, I don’t think I need to post more about this, because some of the screencaps above illustrate this, but I am sure you can all imagine and remember how you felt reading those scenes; they were enticing. I just cant imagine Pacat would use such romantic, erotic, and lush imagery if this collar were the instrument of coercion, compulsion, and humiliation, and even possible r*pe, that we are supposed to think because this is YA fantasy genre and not horror. Someone might argue that they weren’t sleeping together when Anharion was wearing the collar, but I would counter-argue that of course they were! Everyone who knew about the Dark King and his Betrayer knew they were in a romantic relationship, from James’s father, to Gauthier, to Kettering. And we are only supposed to think the collar is all these bad things based off the second hand knowledge passed down by characters like Gauthier, or the vague and evasive language used in the last chapter by both James and the narration (but this is not really shown by James's feelings when he has it put on him). But when James first puts it on, he is described as “hating how good it felt” as well as having some rather erotic flashbacks to Anharion and Sarcean (and that didn’t sound coerced to me, it sounded romantic and swoon-worthy, it sounded like he was being "filled up" which is a way my old therapist friend used to describe being emotionally fulfilled by one's partner). So, why would the principle couple be one that started in coercion and assault? Maybe this is something else being said by Pacat about purity culture, and how there is nothing morally wrong with kink as long as the two are consenting, loving adults who trust each other? James CLEARLY trusts Will to "hold the key" so to speak as he asks him to in the throne room. Just because some of us dont explore our sexuality in this way doesn't make it wrong and I think Pacat is challenging the readers (as Will is being challenged) to reconsider their biases about what is "wrong" not through the lens of what other people think but through what two people feel is right in the loving and trusting relationship that they have together through Total Power Exchange. This is not a story about abuse. Who would want to read that?

No, this is something else in my opinion. I think the collar is completely in line with the desires of Sarcean and Anharion, and their reincarnations are now echoing those desires thousands of years later and they will see whether it is ultimately something that they want to explore together in the next book. The collar was consensual: it is not in line with the YA romance fantasy genre to have a couple start out so grossly abusive towards each other, especially when the language is evocative of romance, and the personalities are showing desire. I think we are meant to challenge our assumptions here about people and what is considered “normal” instead of just thinking if a couple doesn’t fit our idea of a perfect mold that there must be something wrong with them. Also, please remember that Pacat is twisting our heads in one direction with the characters own misconceptions and half truths, when I believe he is planting enough evidence to surprise us (and Will) in the last novel with the revelation that has been hidden in plain sight all along: that Sarcean wasn't hurting Anharion. On the contrary. He was freeing him.

#dark heir #dark rise #dark heir spoilers #reblog #my post

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scriptmyworld · 2 years ago

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Black Panther 2: Wakanda Forever (Spoilers Included)

Finally got to see the movie, so here’s just some of my thoughts on it. This review is not spoiler-free. Be warned.

This movie excels in the role of being a tribute to both T’Challa and Chadwick Boseman. There are a couple of scenes that serve just for remembering him, and all of them are done in a way that keeps them from feeling redundant or heavy-handed, and they all tie into each other well too. They represent the mourning process really well, especially when you combine it with Shuri’s arc of embracing tradition. The insight into Wakandan mourning in the first scene was really nice too. A community celebration of life transitioning into a quiet, personal struggle with death.

The music was really gorgeous. I want that siren song permanently being funneled into my ears. The first thing I did (after 30 minutes trapped in the parking garage) was look up the soundtrack, and I’m sure it won’t disappoint on subsequent listens. And on that note, I really enjoy the cultural blending that’s occurred in the soundtracks for both movies—the blend of African and African-American sound for Killmonger, and now the inclusion of Mayan and Latino sound for the Talokanil.

That first scene with the Talokanil and the boat? Terrifying, I want it ingrained into my eyelids. They did a really good job of capturing the eerie horror of being stuck in that situation.

I really liked how explicit Shuri’s personal themes were throughout the movie. Her tension between advancement and tradition really stuck out to me, especially when she told her mourning mother that feeling her brother’s hand during a ritual was a figment of her imagination. Like damn Shuri, that’s your mom. But it’s kinda the idea that rationalizing an issue doesn’t solve it, and I think by the end of the movie she’s learned that. I also really enjoyed how she was juxtaposed between T’Challa and Killmonger. Just thinking about the relationship potential that was between the three of them makes me excited. She’s practical, aggressive, and a little hotheaded like her cousin, but she still shares her brother and her mother’s heart, and their teachings. Ultimately her family won out when she leveraged Namor’s life for the peace of her people, but I hope we get to see that ruthless, vengeful side of her more down the line.

The people who were shipping her with Namor were self-inserting soooo bad like I was looking for chemistry and it just wasn’t there. Namor clearly presents himself as a superior and imposing presence in all their scenes together, not as a misunderstood softboi. He doesn’t give her the clothes and the bracelet to romance her, he does it to appeal to their people’s shared values of liberation, survival, and remembrance. Then he threatens her country and murders her mother. Come on guys.

On only a slightly related note, that’s a queer woman y’all. Shuri was fine as hell (all the women were 🥵) and I hope she takes Riri up on that Bulls game sometime.

Riri was a good inclusion. She took some of the load off M’baku to be the comic relief and honestly she was a tangible example of what Killmonger was advocating for in the first film—protection for their people, whether they’re Wakandan or not. There were a couple times where it was clear she was being set up for a different project (mostly that big ramble about her backstory), but I can totally see her and Shuri being the new science bros in the future. Also, off topic, I know she’s supposed to be smart, but does anyone else get a little 🤨 when the scientists know stuff out of their purview? Like Shuri is an engineer, but she’s also a chemist, and a biologist, and a geneticist? Women really can do it all. Anyways, super excited to see more of her in Ironheart.

I hope that in a future installment we can explore the political and economic ramifications of Wakanda’s existence more. It irked a little that Ramonda completely ignored that one guy’s prompt about their failure to join the world economy. I understand that the demonstration as a whole was to show that vibranium would never be sold or traded, but what about their other resources? Are there different Wakandan strategies to combat chronic illnesses? Are they doing anything in particular to support the African continent? We don’t see any real change from what Killmonger was saying about Wakanda’s isolationism despite T’Challa’s promise to change. While I understand that he was blipped for five years and sick for a sixth, it would be nice to see the positive impact that Wakanda has on the world, rather them just being viewed as a threat to be sundered, a country to destabilize, and a mine to tap.

On the future of Wakanda—will M’baku be king? Will he be challenged? Will Shuri become queen, or step aside to stay in her realm as lead scientist and Black Panther? Will Okoye be reinstated into the Dora Milaje? Will Nakia and Toussaint ever come home? I don’t really have any thoughts about these, I’m really just saying out loud the questions that Coogler left us with. I do think that Shuri’s not ready to be queen yet, if her speech to M’baku was any indication. And it makes sense. She’s never had to think like one. She’s always had her father, or her mother, or her brother in front of her. Hopefully M’baku can fill the role of both king and council, since we’ve gotten to see more of his psychology this film.

Toussaint is adorable, that is all.

#black panther: wakanda forever #wakanda forever #wakanda forever spoilers #mcu #black panther spoilers #lee reviews #movie review

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undertale-writing-times · 3 years ago

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howdy! So I wassssssss wondering if you could write the skelly bois with a s/o who's super beefy, a little tall, and maybe just a little bit of a "bad boy"

If you got no ideas that's fine as well you, of course, don't have to

For sure! For sure!

I'll add the ones that I wanna write for -w- since you didn't say who you wanted, I'll just do all the ones that gave me ideas~ Ou-

Sans- Oh man he loves his datemate. As long as they don't hurt anyone, of course, but he just thinks that they're pretty cool. When he sees them wearing stuff that shows off their arms, he can't help but look at their muscles and get a little flustered. Please carry him, he'd love them if they did. Well... he already loves them, but whatever shut up. If they want to lift weights when he's around, he's gonna teleport and be sitting on the weights looking down at them, making puns and small talk. He weighs close to nothing because he isn't a normal skeleton, but one made out of magic. He just looks fat but he isn't really, unless he summons his ecto; though he doesn't do it all that often.

Papyrus- With Papyrus, he wants them to work out with him! Even if they're a 'bad boy' he doesn't care, as long as they don't hurt him, then he won't really say that they're 'bad' more just misunderstood! He wants to learn about them, which is why they started to hang out in the first place. Now that they're together, he really wants them to train with him, and if they agree, they're gonna learn that he's a lot stronger than he looks. Weird how he's a skeleton that's able to carry them around! He likes to feel their muscles, and enjoys how warm their skin normally is.

Blueberry- I won't lie, he's most likely stronger than his datemate with all the training he's done over the years. He's small, but a strong boy. Most of the time he doesn't care about a person's past, he'll judge them based off how they act and he'll see the good in pretty much everyone, that's how he has so many friends and connections! Everyone thinks he's this soft and way too innocent guy, which he sorta is, but he also does understand how the world around him works, come on, don't be silly! Often he'll ignore his other emotions than happiness so that's something that he needs to work on. If they've ever hurt anyone though, he'll tell them to be careful with that! They could upset them and that wouldn't be good, you know? Plus if you do it too much, his brother might not want them around him anymore.

Stretch- Okay so uh how much of a 'bad boy' are they? Cause if they have any LV, he might not really even want to be near them. If they're just a bad boy as in stealing and stuff like that? Then he doesn't really care, he's stolen a few things in his life too, these stores up above ground are a lot more pricy than he thought that they deserved, mostly at those fancy food places and he'll slip stuff into his pockets. He likes how strong they are! Will often ask them to carry him around if he gets lazy and they're out places, and if they agree he's gonna get this stupid grin on his face, blushing lightly and try to hide his face. He's so happy... Just hope that they never ask him to carry them, because he will use his magic and make them float.

Snackers- Awww he thought that they were so cute! A human, trying to be threatening. Sure, some humans were stronger than monsters in body but try to be stronger when you're bleeding out! Like his brother can make a lot of them do. Even if they're a lot stronger than him, and can most likely overpower him, he doesn't see them as a threat even if they try to be. It's uh a bad idea to try to threaten him though, because there is a chance that he could get too overwhelmed by it and attack, and that's dangerous for them both. Snackers loves their muscles in their arms and well... everywhere on their body though, but more often than not he'll nip and lightly bite on their arms to feel the muscles clench from the pain. If they tell him not to, he'll try to stop and just bite his sensory toys but come on! He loves feeling their muscles tense. It's oddly attractive.

Butcher- Butcher does want to know how much of a bad boy they are, even though he's most likely done so much worse. He's killed so many humans, but he's never eaten them? Does that mean anything? Eh, whatever, he doesn't know. If they're too bad he doesn't really wanna be with them anymore, mostly because he doesn't want to go back to a bad life, like they're above the underground now so he isn't frightened, he isn't scared, he isn't in danger anymore. Not too bad? Then he likes them, and wants to hear what stories that they have and if they can pick him up, that's pretty cool, but please don't because it hurts his old bones. How his brother doesn't feel pain from his old bones, he does not know.

Axe- Dangerous? Are they dangerous to him? That's what he'd think at first, now he doesn't really see them as a threat at all, or even thinks about the fact that they sorta could be, because they can't. He loves his strong datemate, and even though they're strong and a 'bad boy' if someone ever tries to threaten them, he's going to be standing behind his datemate snarling at the person threatening them, looking like a wild animal that's about to attack. He will hurt anyone that dares hurt his datemate, so best to pick your battles rarely, Y/n. No matter how tall they are, Axe is gonna be taller than them and he is going to baby them a little, by nuzzling them and cooing and purring, like a cat.

Red- Oh man, he's gonna be so threatened but also soooo turned on. Sometimes he loves people who are taller than him, and other times he doesn't like it, so he doesn't know how to feel about his datemate when they first met. Half of him wants to flirt, and the other half thinks that he shouldn't, but now that they're together he really wants them to hold him in their big strong arms but doesn't know how to tell them and it's just ughhhh. He himself is pretty much a bit of a bad boy so he most likely won't judge, but he does want to know what they do. If they've killed before, he might not... really want to be with them? He's been through enough murder to last a long time.

Edge- The first time he saw his future datemate, he was caught. They were so dangerous looking, and he wanted to tame them, like a wild beast. After a while though, he realized that that was a weird way to think but they're already friends, then they became datemates, and he very much enjoys being around them. Another being just as strong as himself! A little less threatening than the terrible Papyrus, though, sadly. If they ever want to impress him, and lift him up in their arms bridal style, he's going to get so damn red faced. Oh my god.

Lord- Lord doesn't care how much of a 'bad boy' they're supposed to be, he's stronger and better than them! Unless they can prove that they're better than the LEADER of the royal guard in his world! If they can, they'll gain his respect but he's stronger than he looks. He has to be stronger than he looks, If he isn't strong enough for the others to be threatened by him, then he'll be killed along with his brother and he doesn't want that. Even if they don't beat him, he might have a type of respect for them. He... likes their muscles and will sometimes touch them if they give him a chance, and he doesn't care how much of a 'bad boy' they are unless they try to hurt or corrupt his brother. Then fuck off.

Mutt- He thinks that they're so cool! They look cool with their clothes and how much of a badass they look! He wants to see how they act, and now that they're datemates, he'll often cuddle and nuzzle up to them, humming happily. He loves his datemate that acts like such a cool bad boy. Funnily enough, he might be the more dangerous out of the two with his unstable magic but he won't say that because they seem to enjoy 'protecting him' from things. Whatever that meant? Please carry him too! He loves being carried. Just ask before picking him up.

Corn- Oh honey. They ain't gonna be stronger than him, no matter how hard they try. Both he and his brother are strangely strong, it's just part of their magic and universe, most likely? Corn himself can literally lift a tree and carry it back to the farm. Often he'll pick up his datemate whenever they're trying to show off too much, because he finds their reactions funny. He doesn't care how much of a 'bad boy' his datemate is, they're gonna either help him on the farm if they live there with him, or help his brother. They aren't gonna just be there, lookin' pretty.

Harvest- Just like his brother, he isn't going to let them live at his house without helping out a little. Even if it's just cleaning up, because they weren't raised like that. Unless they can't, but they're strong looking so they'd most likely be able to. If he's to be honest, he doesn't care how they're a 'bad boy' because he's seen worse, and he could be worse than they could ever dream if they try to scare him. He ain't gonna take that, and an angry Harvest, is a bad one. He does like their muscles though and will often rest his head against their arms, glad that they're like this. Alive, you know? If they ever take off their shirt while working, all sweaty? No matter the gender, he's gonna blow up with a blush all over his face. The bright green color would cover his bones so quickly and he'd shout at them to put their shirt back on.

Lover- Oh man he loves them. You know why? Because together they look so cute! He's the soft sexy one, while his datemate is the hard sexy one. He loves how buff and strong they are, and will often drag his finger tips along their arms to watch their muscles tense, and shiver, and he'll often tease them to try to see how they react to things like that, if they blush easily he'll find it so fun. Often, more often than not, he'd fall into their arms while they're both out together and will get them to carry him. What? He gets carried, and they get kisses. He thinks that's fair.

Hip Hop- Honestly, whenever Hip Hop sees his datemate doing anything that shows off just how strong they are, he gets embarrassed and will try to hide his face into his hood. He isn't used to having someone that knows it's him when he dances, like... okay, he does, but not someone out of his group of monsters, you know? Yet sometimes he'll dance with his datemate even without his hood! It's a big deal for him, since what world's he from, you know? If they're a 'bad boy' he wants to know just how much because if it's too much, he might not feel comfortable being near them.

Salsa- Even if they want to say that they're a 'bad boy' more often than not, he'll make them laugh by taking their hands and pulling them to dance with him randomly, he carries around his music player just for that reason! He finds it enjoyable. He doesn't care much about what they did in the past, as long as they don't hurt people now. If they're taller than him, he's going to be a little flustered but mostly just happy to have a dancing partner now!

Rhythm- Dancing for Rhythm is something that he really needs. It makes him feel better, safer, more powerful! Yet everyone thinks that he couldn't, because he always tells that he couldn't. Sure, it made it more dangerous for him, but he hated the idea of people.... judging him based off what he can do. He'd rather them think he's just the idiot who can't dance then be... telling him that he's not good at dancing. His brother has tried so many times to teach him different styles but he always kept saying that he just... couldn't. He liked to dance while hiding who he was, by wearing a cloth over his mouth and his hood over his eyes, plus gloves and... you know, he doesn't need to explain that. His datemate is one of the only people that know he's the dancer and his datemate is the only person he wants to find out about it. He very much likes them, because they're interesting, the whole 'bad boy' thing is a little funny to him.

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