#he’s playing creepy mind games. they were codependent as kids

[juniperhillpatient]

ok I hate the protagonist’s best friend & her husband like they both went from “mildly annoying but I’ll give them a chance” to “please let the brother kill them” sooo fast. I’m obviously rooting for some twisted romance between this girl & her serial killer brother but if I can’t have that I at least hope she ends up with the hot young detective. no matter what tho I need the husband & the skanky bestfriend to die tho 🙏 like no matter what

[elizabethrobertajones]

Hot take: 13x23 is 5x18 “Point of No Return” but they’re married and they’ve adopted the anti-Christ. And also no Adam.

counterpoint: Jack is Adam but filtered through 9 years of Dabb regret for introducing both Jesse and Adam to the story and then constantly being asked about them when neither were intended to play any further part in the narrative but THIS is the child he would sculpt from that experience if Buckleming are gonna force more creepy baby stories on him :P 

5x18 starts with Dean defining himself by all the things that are the dismal tools of his trade and core identity, boxing them up to give away (technically the Lisa exchange was also written as the opening of the episode but it got shuffled over one episode to be the end of the previous, which I think is a solid decision but I’ll throw it in here for sake of argument). Dean is primarily defined by his leather jacket, gun and car keys, all of which hark back to John and the identity that he crafted to be half a John knock off, half what he thought John would want Dean to be which may be better/different than John but only to John’s own specifications. Stripped down of all that he wrote his “where we’re going we don’t need roads” letter to Sam and Bobby, meaning for that to be pretty much it.

In the open of 13x23 the “good times” define Dean in a completely different way. He has Sam and ~a~ Bobby, but also his mom, Cas and Jack. Cas plays a pretty small role in the very open of the episode, not being included in that letter, and it makes sense to me in the way that Cas is still very much a fellow solider rather than a family member - he’s very much deep in the stuff that even just the next year will have solidified him to Dean as so important that season 6 hurts like it does, but they’re still in that forging fire and having crucial bonding conversations - my favourite from season 5 is literally in the previous episode. 

And it’s interesting in the open of 13x23 that we see a sort of ~normal life resumes~ period for them, which includes Dean driving around hunting, but he’s doing it with Sam and Cas and Jack, and it’s so wildly different from the grim identity as a hunter that he inherited from John. They’ve made it their own way to the point that they have an angel that’s got their backs and a lil nephilim baby who is making a normal werewolf hunt devastatingly easy to the point of being kinda comical. (Obviously that’s not a lasting thing since Jack is depowered by the end but they got to enjoy it). And this leads to a dead opposite version of Dean’s suicide note, where instead he daydreams out loud to a present Sam, taking their life from a POV where he can think about a HAPPY endgame, the beach holiday, the drinks with lil umbrellas, and Cas is there. Then he wanders off and is parental towards Jack.

The whole Lisa and Ben endgame was also one of isolation and removing hunting and personal life, but the Good Times construct a world where Dean has it all - present parental figures rather than an absent memory, his brother, a spouse and a kid. Jack overlapping with Dean’s parenting of Ben in his emotional landscape doesn’t subtract from his life - Jack’s the reason he can even wonder if he and Sam and Cas can take his beach vacation he has been craving out loud basically since John died. Where they’re going they still need the car but only to get around for good reasons, you know? 

So these being the two underlying mindsets Dean has before attempting to/actually saying yes to Michael is fascinating because one of them strips him bare as removing all his personhood, putting the weight of the world on his shoulders, and painting him the idea of a paradise where the lucky few survive and everyone lives happily in Heaven. Michael’s endgame is in Pamela and Leah’s descriptions that convince Dean in the 2 previous episodes - that maybe it’s not so bad that some people get to go to Heaven. But Leah then goes evangelical club of lucky 1000 people style Heaven ascending, and this is where the spoilers about Michael in season 14 overlap with her message so obviously 5x17 might be a key thematic episode as well, as 5x16, 17 and 18 make Michael’s mission and intent so extremely clear. (5x13 too but brr, there’s so much that happens in that exchange I’d need another post :P).

AU Michael sees them as Paradise AU, while they’ve been viewing his world as Apocalypse AU, and I think those 2 perspectives are a very clear meta commentary on the way that his vision was presented back in season 5 as well - that he was going for that full Christian judgement day where the sheep and the goats are separated or whatever, and the planet is cleansed. He already attempted it in the Apocalypse AU but it clearly went awry and it sounds from spoilers like he’s gonna have a second go at realising this properly? I haven’t really been paying clear attention to the spoilers but it stood out to me having Dabb tease the sort of stuff I’ve been describing because that was barely implicit in season 13 since of course AU Michael made such a hash of the apocalypse on his first go at it. But of course for budget reasons he’s being more careful and less openly destructive in Paradise AU. And the very fact that the main SPN verse is Paradise AU to him is utterly fascinating when layered over season 5 and what we glean of Michael’s plan post-Lucifer killing, which our original Michael seems to see as an irritating first step even back then. 

And then to get to season 13, Dean in this wonderful happy good place is going to be the time he ends up saying Yes because it’s not the weight of the world on his shoulders - I mean, yeah, it is, but. It’s the weight of his family. And Sam and Jack are the ones who are taken - the haemorrhaging brothers Zach casually used as leverage in 5x18 - and we get Dean bargaining with AU Michael just like he bargained with Zach and Michael in 5x18 to worm his way to a change of mind and a “no”, he ends up in the place where to save his brother and son the only option is a yes in another room.

Carver being Carver - and we have his whole showrunning to use as a focus lens on this - went the route of that codependency debate about whether Dean would even care to save Adam or just Sam’s sweet bacon and manipulated Adam into feeling like they wouldn’t care, that they were the cause of all his problems, and Adam was caught in the middle, lied to, and wanting to see his mom again and Zach’s abuse of him in this way to get what he wants is the mirror of Lucifer getting to Jack and trying to prove he can be a good father while attempting to sweet talk Jack enough to agree to zap them off Earth and away from Michael’s plan. It DOESN’T get framed as a Sam and Dean us or them, the break comes before that when Jack for himself sees Lucifer being an abusive ass, and disowns him, and rather than a loss of Adam it’s a distinctive gaining of Jack as a permanent family feature. 

The confrontation with him, Sam and Lucifer goes on to finish making that extremely clear, with Sam and Jack competing to die for each other - not for Dean - and showing the bonds and strength they have as their own father and son relationship that has grown outside of the Sam n Dean codependency that Michael manipulated to make it look like even in the last moment they had “lost” Adam to it, rather than him stealing him from under their noses. They did actually intend to rescue him, though I think the staging of it was more like a careless moment of Dean helping Sam through the door first, it wasn’t a Huge Choice To Ditch Adam - though that careless priority of Sam comes back around in 6x11 as well so it’s not like a non-element, it was still not like, a Fuck You Adam I Only Care About Sam. 

Obviously in 13x23 with Jack the focus of the abduction and Sam leaping in on it HEROICALLY, there’s of course the sense that is heightened for us the audience that Sam is in trouble as well but while 5x18 had a Save Adam thing and this was a Save Jack thing, in every other way the emotional lines come down about family as a unit not a playing favourites game OR any commentary whatsoever on codependency except in its absence, while 5x18 is one of the only episodes to even actually use that word to describe Sam n Dean. It happened to be Sam and Jack in this situation but any combination of his peeps could have triggered this response in Dean, I feel. This is just the narratively neat way it played out.

And, of course, to get to the worst part… Which i still can’t even handle even when it’s been the focus of my icon for at least a month… Cas having to deal with Dean saying yes, after 5x18 was such a huge argument and point of pain between them, the one time Cas has turned violently on Dean was for attempting to give up and say yes to Michael in that episode, and it caused him a complete loss of faith, and was his impetus to help them get to Adam but in the cattiest fuck you possible in that last moment outside the warehouse. He describes going into the suicide mission to clear out the angels as not having to deal with watching Dean say yes, so of course in 13x23 his role is to chill with Dean as his accepted husband, third wheel, whatever else, part of the beach vacation, unquestioned part of the family, only for Dean to suddenly do the thing in front of him that in 5x18 had been their lowest point, personally and emotionally and interpersonally. When they had no faith in each other, and were both suicidal and miserable. 

And Cas is left in moments having to deal with losing potentially his entire family - son, brother, husband - to Lucifer and Michael, and it’s like they’re right back at the start. So much has changed and it’s not about faith, it’s not about believing in each other… He and Jack are part of this Winchester family and their investment is so different. But it’s seeing Dean make this sacrifice for family in front of him when of all of them Cas and Dean know the stakes of saying yes to Michael the best in the sense of having fought it out like that before. Because it’s the thing that forged them. That on the other side of it, Cas told Dean he wasn’t the broken shell of a man he thought he was or whatever he said in 5x21 when apologising for his lack of faith in his surprise that Dean hadn’t said yes. That last minute reconciliation and forging of what was the core of their bond from then on…

I think for Cas, still, his belonging is a bit more tenuous and Jack helps - he’s helped all of them by the brief “good times” montage at the start - but he’s always doubted his place in the family and the role he has and Dean’s always been his strongest connection, and having Jack and a settled few weeks to months with all these people around feels like a good way to give Cas time to feel truly in a part of the family unit. But even in 13x06 you can see they all have all their different bonds and dynamics and with Jack there it gives Cas another purpose and connection and Jack is also firmly connected to Sam and Dean. It’s sort of a joke that they’re all his dads when Rowena says it, but it’s seriously not untrue. For lack of any other relatable life experience and the circumstances of Jack’s existence, Dean, Cas and Sam are his fathers for the roles they’ve played to him, and those new bonds are like a thicker glue between TFW that none of them can really argue their way out of when it comes to emotional doubt about belonging. If Cas struggles to see the Bunker as home and his purpose on earth, then Jack DOES, and can clearly name his family, who matters to him, what he wants and where he wants to be, by the last moments that Lucifer steals his grace, Jack is avowedly a part of their world, and that’s a link Cas now has that sort of chains him there one step further than he ever had before that his doubts are going to have to listen to. And, you know, 10 seconds later Jack is gone and Sam is gone and Dean is saying yes to Michael. 

It makes Cas in 5x18 even more interesting just because this is the moment of shattering for him, and thinking back to how he was and what he stood to lose then is both deeply personal but so removed from what he has in season 13 that it’s hard to grasp at it, except that it’s so so connected to Dean and Dean only, that in the same way that losing Jack and Sam at once challenges the codependency set up that Zach presented via Adam, you have Cas no longer laser focused on Dean. And yet, of course. He stays behind with Dean to see him say yes, because in 5x18 that was his laser focus of emotional characterisation and as much as Sam and Jack mean to him, this is how to hurt Cas to his very very core. And still, even in this new family, shows the pressure point is Dean, and this very personal history they share when it comes to saying yes to Michael. How Dean represented Cas’s faith, and when they lost their faith they lost it together, and then gained it back together, because of each other. Leaving Cas to watch that happen… ugh, it’s illegal. I don’t even have words for the magnitude of what Dabb put him through and I’ve been wrangling with it all summer and now it’s September and it still hurts on a cosmic level :P 

And yet in the end the episodes end the same - hubris and losing a character to Michael, who still manages to sneak a victory and a vessel out of the scenario, even after Dean bargained with him and stabbed a smarmy adversary and seemed for a moment like the biggest badass and a fuckin hero to Sammy and defended their family and independence and place in the world. But in this case, Dean had already let Michael through the door, and he didn’t have to settle for a second rate vessel. Dean always bargains with himself and this time, the bargain that he gets to kill the bad guy in exchange for Michael’s cooperation failed, and like in both scenarios Michael took his vessel by force and trickery, because for Michael, the “yes” has always been a pretty hypothetical necessity in the first place >.> 

[jisungjuice]

8th Year Group Chat

so i started wrting this the other day when i was a bit drunk and it’s silly and very long so forgive me

draco: okay so i created this chat because we need to talk about the elephant in the room

wayne has left the chat

pansy: what’s an elephant

blaise: are you kidding

ron: it’s like a hippogriff but with no wings or beak or claws and it’s fatter and it has a trunk

hermione: that’s the worst description of an elephant i’ve ever heard

theo: how many have you heard?

hermione: shut up

draco: it’s a muggle expression pansy for fuck’s sake

lavender: spit it out malfoy

millicent: lav love, draco doesn’t spit, he likes to swallow

draco: SHUT UP

dean: LOL

seamus: POWNED!

hermione: it’s supposed to be “pwned” which it’s actually supposed to be “owned” which doesn’t meake any sense to me? why would they own you when they insult you?

daphne: oh my god

ernie: are you sure you didn’t add me by accident? this seems like a slytherdor thing

hermione: ?

pansy: slytherdor?

padma: that’s what the rest of us call it when your houses get chummy

susan: which happens more than you’d think

blaise: we do not get “chummy” with the gryffindors

seamus: we hate each other so?

anthony: yeah, you “hate” each other so much you forget everyone else exists

hannah: last weekend, who were the only ones playing truth or dare until seven am after everyone else had gone to sleep?

hermione: ...

padma: malfoy, parkinson, zabini, bullstrode, potter, weasley, granger, finnigan, and brown

millicent: not true. me and lav went to bed WAY before all those losers

ron: hey!

ernie: they can’t help it, they have to impress each other every chance they get

dean: no we don’t!

theo:...yes we do. our houses are completely disfunctional and codependent

seamus: get bent, nott

theo: make me

seamus: is that a dare?

theo: see what i mean?

hermione: someone read the psychology books i suggested

blaise: yeah, thanks a fuckton granger, now he won’t stop analyzing everything we do

draco: everyone SHUT THE FUCK UP im trying to talk about something here!

theo: you should really work those anger issues

terry: is this about the dirty dishes in the sink because if so i agree, we need to talk about it

draco: no

neville: hey everyone!

gregory: i didn’t leave those dishes!

ron: literally no one said it was you

justin: had anyone finished slughorn’s essay? i could use the help

mandy: you can borrow mine tomorrow, but i should warn you that i did it at 3am and can’t remember if it’s good or bad

draco: THIS ISNT A STUDY CHAT YOU KNOB HEADS

lisa: *sigh* hurry up and tell us, some of us have things to do

draco: right

draco: we all have to share a common room now, which means we need some ground rules so we can get along

pansy: we have ground rules, granger made that very clear in the first official 8th year weekly assembly

pavarti: yeah, we all signed the contract

draco: but i think we need to add a new rule

michael: couldn’t you just have brought it up during the next weekly meeting?

draco: no, corner, i fucking couldn’t because this is urgent and needs to be said now

tracey: daphne, did you borrow my mascara again?

susan: you could have just texted granger about the new rule

draco: NO. EVERYONE NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS

theo: or, you just need to be the center of attention

ron: it’s definitely that

hermione: malfoy, would you just tell us already?

terry: i’d like to add a clause that enforces the ‘keeping the dishes clean’ rule

hermione: noted

terry has left the chat

draco: people shouldn’t be able to walk around on their underpants in the common area

lisa: ?

daphne: oh my god

lavender: who does that?

seamus: i was extremely drunk and it only happened once!

dean: and i think everyone appreciated it

millicent: *gags*

ernie: weren’t you the one who convinced finnigan to remove his trousers?

millicent: ... why do you always remember everything?

draco: are you all fucking blind? this is about potter!

mandy has left the chat

neville: haha, good one malfoy

anthony: may i ask if this entire chat is an april fools joke of some kind?

blaise: draco’s entire life is a joke

gregory: *high five*

susan: malfoy, some of us have things to do

draco: for the past few days every time I go down in the mornings to make tea, potter's there without any trousers on!

pavarti: are you trying to tell us he was... naked?

draco: what?! no of course not!

rom: what's the big deal, we've all seen harry naked in the showers after a game

blaise: i must certainty haven't

lisa: neither have i

ron: well the ones who play quidditch have

hermione: i don't play quidditch and i've seen harry nude

pansy: that's because you're a pervert

neville: hermione's not a pervert!

theo: right, she's just secure in her sexuality and actually mature

padma: this is why no one likes you

blaise: yeah, because everybody loves ravenclaws

tracey: more like ravenpuffs

gregory: good one!

tracey: thanks greg

susan: malfoy i've seen harry every morning this week and never once was he naked

draco: I DIDNT SAY HE WAS NAKED

draco: he was in his underpants like the common room was some kind of french bouyeristic cabaret!

daphne: oh my god

daphne has left the chat

seamus: that... sounds amazing

seamus: can we do that?

pansy: no

lisa: no

ernie: no

millicent: if it's only the girls, yes

dean: don't worry babe, we'll do it in the gryffindor dormitories

neville: no

hermione: malfoy, harry wasn't in his underpants, he was wearing shorts

draco: what's the difference

anthony: are you kidding

anthony has left the chat

hannah: shorts go over your underpants

draco: but i could see his legs

tracey: so?

draco: I DONT WANT TO SEE POTTER'S LEGS

susan: so close your eyes for merlin's sake stop bugging everyone about it

padma: wow nott is right, malfoy has some serious anger issues

theo: oh, now you like me, patil?

padma: no

neville: that was kind of rude

ernie: see? slytherin and gryffindor always stick up for each other

michael: wait, harry isn't on this chat

draco: that's because we need to discuss this without him

susan: he's literally the only person that really needs to be in here

susan has left the chat

hermione: malfoy, we can't forbid people wearing shorts

draco: this is UNACCEPTABLE

draco: what's next? am i going to be forced to see potter shirtless just because it's hot outside?

hermione: ... i don't think so?

draco: are you saying he wouldn't do that?

draco: there's no risk of that happening?

justin: i need help with my dada homework, does anyone know where harry is? i don't care if he's wearing shorts

pansy: he's probably haunting draco's dreams

hermione: harry's sitting next to me

draco: WHAT

pavarti: oh plot twist

draco: has he been reading all of this?

hermione: no, though i did ask him if he's been walking around in his underwear which he found strange

ernie: topics of discussion for next ravenpuff meeting; new slogan, playlists for studying, and how to deal with slytherdor's sarcastic passive aggression

ernie: whoops wrong chat

seamus: ha-ha very funny macmillan

michael: they are secretly very worried that we do have meetings because they know we'd rule them if we wanted to

tracey: michael please, you would look prettier with your mouth shut

hannah: and all slytherins would look prettier with a hufflepuff on their arm but go off I guess

theo: a slytherpuff couple would have an interesting compatibility profile

blaise: then why don't you date one

theo: jealous?

dean: uh oh, trouble in paradise

dean: looks like we continue to be the best same-house couple @seamus

theo: shut it or i'll murder you in your sleep

draco: who has anger issues now?

blaise: that's my bf

ron: oi, I'm trying to see if I can defeat everyone in our year at chess, who haven't I played with?

justin has left the chat

ron: was it something i said?

millicent: you haven’t played me weasley, but that’s because i’ll destroy you

ron: you’re ON

lavender: i can’t decide if my ex and my current lover competing against each other is hot or creepy

pansy: hot

hannah: hot

lisa: hot

neville: a little creepy

draco: so how are we going to solve this potter thing? I think we all agree it's a BIG and rather disgusting problem

lisa: *eye roll*

padma: oh don't worry malfoy, we are all working very hard to ensure this gets sorted asap

draco: really?

draco: I mean... good.

draco: I think getting full access to potter's wardrobe would help

ron: i agree, i think malfoy deserves a place inside harry's closet

blaise: and vice versa

draco: what are you talking about potter's got terrible taste

lisa: and annoying too, he's got a taste for some terrible and annoying things

draco: exactly

hannah: wow you were right pansy, it's truly unbelievable

neville: and harry's even worse sometimes

dean: ugh yes, so frustrating

draco: what are you nitwits talking about?

ernie: oh, nothing really

ernie: except that we've been having another chat without you trying to work out a solution to this stupid problem

draco: what?

pavarti: @everybody NOW

lisa, millicent, lavender, ernie, blaise, michael, dean, seamus, hannah, tracey, pavarti, and neville and have left the chat

draco: WHAT

padma has added harry to the chat

padma: good luck malfoy!

padma has left the chat

gregory: oh shit are we doing this now?

gregory has left the chat

hermione: harry, malfoy here thought it was time you two had a private chat

pansy: and he thinks you've got nice legs

draco: PANSY

hermione: yes that too

hermione and pansy have left the chat

harry: what

ron: sorry mate

ron has left the chat

draco: ...

harry: so...

harry: I heard you have a problem with my shorts

draco: i do

draco: they're bloody distracting

harry: okay

harry: maybe if you weren't such a prick you'd be able to mind your own business

draco: shut up potter

draco: wanna go to the lake this weekend?

harry: ...okay?

draco: it's gonna be a hot day

draco: so

draco: just saying you should dress accordingly

harry: :)

theo: it's interesting that our year has a higher than average amount of non-heterosexual people. potter, what would you say has defined your sexuality the most? a) epigenetics, b) environment, c) upbringing

harry: what the fuck

draco: theo, fuck off

theo has left the chat

draco: :)

[benchgenderstudies]

Chloe Dykstra:The Groupie that Expected Too Much Out of A Celebrity's Rebound Relationship

Why Women  Are Not Above Bad Relationship Blame When Their Decisions Insist Bad Relationships for Ulterior Motives. The environment of the abuse

by Michael Bench

The scandal surrounding Chris Hardwick broke in the recent hours centered around a past relationship and a blog alleging itself a confession by Chloe Dykstra. What should raise your awareness is “Why” and “Who is she?” I don't mean like “Who is she to allege this?” I mean “Where do her wants choose compromise against what she wants.”  In her post on Medium she said she desired to have a 1) a partner, 2) someone to confide in ,3) someone to share things with ,  4)not be judged ( you're going to be judged , stop being insecure),5) “Someone to be there for me”, 6)”What I felt that this man wanted was a woman who would feed him, sleep with him and go to events with him”. In most of these, she's asking for a therapist. For the same reasons women are asked “Why didn't you leave”, they also get bugged out why men leave them. Judged:Not working out, snoring, adult acne, interest conflicts, not wanting kids, wanting too many kids,  prefers wood heating, prefers Birkenstocks, White Inferiorist etc etc.

Alright, do we have that? 6 reasons that Chloe Dykstra says she wants.  I'm going to alter number 6 a bit . Beings that Dykstra was attracted to the scenery around Chris Hardwick, we can rewrite that “ I want to go to events”. Further on  in the blog we have the clarity moment “Nobody can save me but myself”. Exactly, So this is where female relationship checklists have to move into the new age of deciding when they aren't getting something, making sure they SPEAK UP as to whether it's available, or whether its time to move on ..even if the person is bound for fame. If a characteristic is not available or not changing, its not any females role to try to mother it either. It's their duty and responsibility to MOVE ON and not self induce frustration for no reason at all. These are hardset rules'; don't fuck with it.  

Whether the person is bound for fame or not ..their fame isn't your fame and a lot of fame is a poisonous batch of the wrong people making it popular.. such as Dykstra's obsession with diets.

What aggravates me about Dykstra's so called confession is she admits what she wanted out of a relationship with Hardwick is an arm on his redcarpet moments. It goes without saying that if she didn't like anal sex ; which she is yet insecure of, that its the wrong relationship from the beginning. In a broader sense of the topic, people who desire celebrities must understand they should make no expectations of monogamy, make no requests of exclusive relationships , and let celebs be celebs as far as you are willing to be okay with what they want.

Dykstra accepted a condition of staying in a hotel during a San Diego Comicon? Are you kidding yourself? Did you want to go or not?  This is why I started the blog “Who is Chloe Dykstra (for herself).This is your life Dykstra, you have to be willing to know what's more important to you:Codependent carpet rides or experiencing it for yourself. Nobody can “live you” but you. If being Hardwicks pet is what you decide on , that's on you. Congratulations on deciding to get out eventually. I'm not going to pat you on the back for airing his dirty laundry specifically for your revenge though.

Perhaps it's good his flaws are out.

If Hardwick is that person lets not ignore he didn't give his so called friends much time in his life either. I don't say that to normalize the treatment. I say it for females/everyone to realize your minimal treatment should be expected at least on par with (his) longer term friends. What seems to be outted here at least from this blog is Hardwick might be gay and the result of trying to play a heterosexual male is lousy treatment of women around him. If he's not bisexual , then his needs of dominance either suggest low self esteem despite his celebrity status (as alcoholics will be) or a flawed want of dominating people for his own sadistic impulses. This is usual for people with Narcissistic personality disorder; a factors which I feel both Dykstra and Hardwick share? Expect an apology? Not likely. Dykstra's blacklisting from the industry isn't something I can fact check.

There's a lot of reciprocity expectation in this Dykstra confession blog but she doesn't make expectations of reciprocity early enough. If you want a relationship, demand the same of it. Don't loiter for this random schmuck to roll the carpet out for you to walk on. Don't be the chick behind the scenes, Own your own fame, Dykstra. That's what I don't like .. seeing women awestruck with trophy dating taking a backslide to traditional underserving roles for their own conveniences.

Is it convenient to not demand a night of pegging Chris with your own strapon if anal sex isn't your thing??? Dammit Dykstra, a relationship is about self respect. The relationship with Hardwick was a task of disrespect according to you. So who's to blame for knowing what creepy and uncomfortable is and not walking away? Unlike many other cases of domestic abuse where we have no alibi for why women stay, this one was clear: Dykstra wanted her trophy Comicon star for the secondary flashbulbs and tabloid images. It's part of her own eating disorder. She wants to reinforce her presumptions being emaciated is normal when .. its not. And for the people at home, don't buy this “ I just didn't see the flags”. She saw the fucking flags .. she was in it for herself and as anorexics will be.. accepted the external pain for her wants well into an unhealthy casual relationship. Its a relationship she distortedly told herself was going somewhere. It wasn't . Are you a woman or a hermitcrab, Chloe? Do you have decency for yourself or just keep looking for shiny shells?. The “Confession”Concludes Dykstra was settling to be a sidegirl for her own life. Thats whats sad

I'm not sure if Chris Hardwick also wants a dick in the ass or whether its an obsession with his celebrity status. I'm suggesting the latter. Since I have a ref shirt on here for Gender Studies.. if the starfishing was done to be painful and perhaps even rectally tearing , Dykstra can elect a pitch hitter to settle that up. Flag on the play!!!!  

Sex is physical love Hardwick. If you need dominance, get in the ring and have an even bout for the pain, to the pain.  There's people out there that stick their gonads together with disgust and vile treatment of each other in roleplays. That's their choice. I suggest look at the whole relationship and decide if spicing it up is just prolonging something thats over by treating each other badly. In that case, Go to your corners. Go to your locker rooms. Leave the building from separate parking lots and begone with both of you.!!  Still , I'm troubled but this accusation “Dykstra went along with a sexual assault. “ Went along with? Were you having sex and he wanted a rape role play you weren't into ? This is not clear. After 17 drafts of anger its thrown into the mix like a “whatever” situation. Like it was needing a “#MeToo coattail when it didnt. If it applies , it applies.

I'm not sure whether its better to speculate he cornered into her hotel room when he couldnt get laid by any famous other comicon celeb or whether this was part of his personal assault as a narcissist. Lack of details disservices the seriousness of the accusation/crime. Since I did suggest he brought along  a backup sidegirl for his comicon appearances, it occurs to me this situation is a double fault outcome of how two narcissists feeding each other with nothingness and role playing come to injure each other.  Hardwick is a former game show host and Dykstra is unknown to me; Both are not familiars.

This story deserves the attention of a new movement that does not excuse women for ulterior motives and loitering a relationship with nothing in it other than avoiding the fear of being single. It's a real tragedy.. The women who are owed respect cannot be offset by those that crawl along a sidewalk gutter looking for their quick meal ticket to fame. The Melania Trumps for example. Low an behold, they'll let themselves be treated like the gutter and thats no woman; They have to own up to their bad decisions, their lousy low bar for what being a female is and thats why I wrote it. “The #DontDefineFemaleLikeYoureAFuckingIdiot Movement”.  

So as you ought clearly see. I apply blame to select situations where the female owed her person better of known wants and settled to be the codependent sidecar. Too long we’ve heard the term victim blaming instead of address the circumstances being raised. If we are a competent race then we understand that blaming a female for her assailant isn’t on the table. The assault behavior is by one actor’s own decision. Shout it out when you see the victims posse try and raise it like its a norm of the conversation. Its not. Females who will not face the blame of their issues will not seek to change the behaviors that enable male bad behavior. Its real, so don’t ignore the blame. The first one I can name is women who either “play hard to get” or endorse it when they really caved to unwanted repetitive harassment. 

Final points:

Females.. before you decide on dating celebrities, read the various “Guides to Dating Musicians”.:Never invest time today you expect to get back tomorrow.  If you have a spotlight, its you're  duty to also not make it too easy for random groupies of your own just to slink in and out of. Be mindful of  your own accomplishments or why the lack thereof is happening. All people have a right to hookup so just don't presume more of celebrities if you managed to hook up with one. The sea of sex partners is many. Choosing to settle for the “very next one', “being fed up with dating”, “looking only for someone invested in long term relationships”... are the people insecure and lazy for themselves. Long term dating rests on good short term dating. I can tell you why women don't leave bad relationships. They “feel above the bother” of meeting more people. Women settle, Men exhaust them for attention and thats the street level problem of the laymen dater too insecure to let things change.

Dating is like a Buffet, Not a Crowded Parking Lot. Get better at dating, not eating.

Till Next Time..

Sincerely

Michael Bench, MEP,GCERT