#he’s being defensive lolll

[divinely-ruled]

(yap session incoming. can the "i ain't reading all'at" and "bad listeners" kindly jump out the window for this one ? <3)

Kai, do you crave submission because it reflects your vision of order, or merely a repudiation of the radical freedom that their dissent represents? Does your denial of rebellion come from a terror of the Other's autonomy, and the confrontation of the contingency of your own constructed authority? Does your dominance work as an assertion of your power, or is it a bad faith attempt to deny the inherent plurality of being-for-itself? If submission brings you peace, is it the peace of unity, or the silence of oppression? When faced with rebellion, do you see it as a mirror of your own unchosen absurdity, or do you flinch because their autonomy exposes the emptiness under your authority? Do you sacrifice others' autonomy to affirm your own sense of meaning in a word otherwise devoid of it, or do you do so to avoid facing the fragility of your own loneliness? Is their submission a compulsory condition for your own self-definition, or simply a way to protect yourself from the anxiety of their unrestrained freedom? Basically, are you scared of a thinking mind? Does someone thinking for themselves make you nervous? Does a free mind make you feel out of control? Do you find comfort in the silence, or does the noise of independent thought make you tremble? When people ask questions, do you flinch, or do you simply turn away, pretending you heard nothing? Is someone else's freedom to think a threat to your power, or just a nudge that you've been holding onto empty power all along? — 🎀

Your wordy psychoanalysis is sweet, really. But let me break it down for you: submission isn’t about fear of rebellion or some existential dread of freedom. It’s about intimacy—a connection that’s deeper than all your philosophy-book drivel. Strip away the noise, power, control, what’s left is the truth that I crave—someone who chooses to give themselves fully to me. Not because they’re forced, but because they want to. That’s not fear; that’s strength.

You think I flinch at autonomy? No, I recognize it for what it is: a tool. People have the right to think freely, sure, but too often they squander it on meaningless rebellion or hollow independence. What terrifies you is the idea that someone might willingly surrender that freedom—not out of weakness, but out of trust, loyalty, and purpose. And yes, maybe I have my reasons, but don’t confuse that with cowardice.

The silence you call oppression? Sometimes it’s peace. The unity you call submission? Sometimes it’s love. So, next time you want to psychoanalyze me, try looking a little closer—because I’ve already looked deeper into myself than you ever could.

[whitehartlane]

told my friends i went to a chess camp when i was a kid and they made fun of me (fondly) for being a nerd and i refuted that claim thoroughly (they don’t need to know i watch professional chess)

[hyunjins3rdleg]

Returning The Favor

I’ve had this on my brain for 2 days and needed to get it out. Maybe yall will think it’s cute too idk lmaoo <3

Pairing: Model!Hyunjin x Assistant Fem! Reader

Warnings: cursing maybe, and I didn’t proof read it lolll *SFW*

WC: 1k+

It’s always Y/N taking care of her spoiled brat client but what about the times when that sweet boy takes care of her when she needs it the most?

Series Masterlist here

When you’re sick he’s making sure you’re not neglecting your health by focusing too much on him. Do you have your medicine? Cough drops? Have you been refilling your water bottle at an appropriate time? Oh, you’re cold? He’s bundling you up in a heated blanket like a little burrito and wiping the snot from your nose if he’s got to just so that you don’t have to unbundle yourself.

Dealing with his schedule AND him definitely gives you headaches so he takes it upon himself to give you shoulder or head massages if it seems to bother you more than usual. These were his favorite moments because it was the rare times he’d have full permission to touch you without fighting for his life with his fist up in defense.

You’re on your period? Oh, he’s at your beck and fucking call! Heating pad on your stomach, your favorite candy or snacks near your hands at all time, and for once the boy is actually quiet. He finds time to paint or game silently in the other room to let you have your alone time, and the best part? He manages to handle his schedule and food all on his own without a single question. His parents would be so proud!

There was this one instance where he insisted on washing your hair for you when you were severely jet lagged. It was an insanely busy week for the two of you with back to back photoshoots, private parties, and God knows how many meetings about potential projects. You’d flown to three different cities in the span of 7 days and to say you were both sleep deprived was an understatement. You’d remember commenting on your head killing you and how tired you were but unable to fall asleep when he’d gotten the bright idea to wash your hair. Of course that was a cure all! So there you were, entertainingly laid across the counter of the hotel suite you’d booked with your head resting in the sink as he massaged away, humming a sweet tune. You slept like a baby with your hair towel wrapped turban style afterwards.

On the rare occasions when his schedule’s completely free and yours aligned up with your friends, you’d have a well deserved girls night out. Most of these nights ended with you yapping about God knows what as Hyunjin prepared you for bed, a duty he’d given himself to settle his own nerves. There was just one instance months ago where you commented on how the uber driver accidentally took a wrong turn and joked about being kidnapped. Now, Hyunjin can’t sleep until he’s picked you up himself and safely returned you back into your shared home where you belong. He was always the perfect gentleman when you were drunk too, that was one thing you could remember the few times you weren’t blackout drunk. He always watched where his hands landed, he turned his back to you when you got undressed for bed, and he would hum politely in response as you talked his head off no matter the conversation, patting your head goodnight as he left you be for the night.

He knows if you get too focused that you may forget to eat. So, there are many times where he’d show up with a grin and your favorite food, plopping them on your desk and having a seat either on the floor or in a chair beside you if one was available.

Hyunjin had a fix for every inconvenience you may encounter and even though you never say anything, you think it’s really sweet. Your hair starts bothering you and you don’t have a hair tie? He keeps an extra one on his wrist at all times; a satin scrunchie specifically to not ruin your beautiful tresses. You lose your lip balm? He has the exact brand you wear in his bag for emergency purposes. You’re pissy because you’ve lost your expensive pen? He’s got a brand new pack in his bag just because of how annoyed you get when you don’t have them. He has everything down to tampons just in case an accident occurs.

Hyunjin would constantly express how thankful he was for your help. He never forgot to say thank you and he always spoke encouragement into you whenever he felt keeping up with his insane schedule was tiring you. Which leads me to believe he’d have no problem spending a check on you.

In this universe I’d think you wouldn’t spend an awful a lot of money on yourself. Of course if you wanted something and could afford it you’d purchase it, but in Hyunjin’s eyes you never spent enough. So, it was often he’d show up with gifts that he just “couldn’t let stay on the shelf” once he spotted it. You currently have a very expensive, gold status membership at a spa because he thinks you deserve to be pampered on his dime.

The most insane thing I’d say he would have done for you was buy you a car. Model!Hyunjin would 100% pay cash to gift you a car and you can’t convince me otherwise. It would’ve been only a few months into your new job when you’ve just barely straightened him out ( Lord knows his reputation had declined tremendously, which is why his parents hired you in the first place) and he’d finally done enough to earn the privilege of handling his own money again. The very first thing that idiot did was buy you a Porsche SUV. He was still an arrogant little shit at the time, so he claimed it was because “a pretty woman associated with me should ride only luxury”.

When the reality was he heard you talking to your mom how you car was on its last leg and you didn’t have the funds to buy anything new just yet.

That man takes such good care of you just as you do for him, and that’s something you wouldn’t be able to deny if asked about. Even if you thought he was the most annoying human being on the planet.

You were the best thing that’s ever happened to him (and his career), that’s one thing both he and his parents could agree on. Hyunjin just hoped he could be that for you too.

**Find My Masterlist Here**

Join me for Happy Hour. Request are closed!!

Taglist: @velvetmoonlight @night-storm7 @byeon-bae @jeonginsleftcheek @chuuyaobsessed @moonlightcandy00 @iovecb97 @forever-changing-bias @paborachaslvt @wormieieie @rebecca-johnson-28 @chuuyaobsessed @skzfairyyydreamz @sillyhal @mimihwang248 @raehawthorne @miraculous-disaster @straykidscoded @ladybeautiful18 @143il0v3you @nightmarenyxx @do-you-remember-summer-127 @aalexyuuuhm @minhosprettywife @ot8xbangchansgirlsblog @amarecerasus @my-neurodivergent-world @rhonnie23 @deadpool15 @velvetmoonlght @katsukis1wife @wooyoungsbrat @like-diamondsinthesky

Lmk if you’d like to be added or removed <3

Minors will not be added to the taglist

[toxic3mmy]

prompt: alex is your new and annoying stepbrother

warnings: incest (kinda?), taboo, smexual scenarios, and again… INCESTTTT

not everyone is interested in themes like this and that’s okay! keep in mind, this is all made up and i am by no means encouraging blood relative incest lolll

also, im trying something new— this will be a mini book with hopefully more than two chapters so stay tuned!

Part One

you sighed as you looked at your reflection. new town, new life, new school, but the same old you.

you only had one person you knew in this new city but even then, you didn’t want to overwhelm him with the fact that he’s all you had. you sighed again as you finished getting ready.

a text message from him let you know that he was outside waiting for you. you grabbed your keys and purse before making your way to his car.

“for someone that doesn’t want attention on them, you sure look hot tonight” he winked

“oh shut up. you know i don’t want to go to this party, missa”

“i know, but hey, it could be a good way to make friends you know?”

“i guess you make a good point… let’s go”

he drove you to the house party and you hesitantly followed him inside. immediately as you walked in, missa was greeted by a lot of different people. you felt a little jealous that he had so many friends already. still, you smiled as he let you know he was going to be with his friends and to meet him later in the night for a ride home.

you decided to make your way to the kitchen to find some alcohol to help loosen you up. hopefully you’ll be able to socialize after a drink or two.

you made yourself a simple orange juice and tequila drink and soon wandered off to the vacant backyard. you sat in one of the benches and watched the moon rise.

you weren’t excited about moving, not one bit. but you knew that your mom had a long distance relationship here and you just wanted her to be happy.

you sipped your drink and enjoyed the nighttime breeze. you weren’t too bothered by being by yourself, you were actually quite used to it. you just hoped that it would be a decent college year, considering it was your senior year.

“y/n! hey, want to smoke with me and my buddies?” missa suddenly appeared from inside

“um.. sure, if you’re okay with that”

“of course i am or i wouldn’t have asked” he laughed and led you to the other side of the wraparound back porch

“guys, this is y/n, she just moved here from texas. she’s pretty cool” missa smiled

you nervously waved at his friends and stood quietly as they introduced themselves briefly and passed around a blunt. you weren’t much of a smoker so you knew to take it easy. after you took a small puff, you went to hand it to one of missa’s friends that was standing near you. just as you approached him, he turned around and ran right into your outreached hand with the blunt, burning his arm

“im so sorry—”

“aw fuck! god, watch what the fuck you’re doing you clumsy bitch!” he yelled right in your face

“it was an accident! you don’t have to be such an asshole!” you spat right back

“woah, chill alex, she didn’t mean to do that” missa suddenly said sternly, defensively standing in front of you to shield you

“you’re seriously gonna defend this bitch?” alex narrowed his eyes at you

“dude, i think you’ve had enough to drink”

“fuck you missa… protect your prissy little whore all you want” he mumbled

you had had enough of his insults and you threw your ice cold drink in his face, smiling as he began to cry out that his eyes were burning

missa quickly grabbed your hand and led you through the house and into his car. the two of you were suddenly laughing uncontrollably.

“so much for a first impression” you said, shaking your head

“well, it could’ve been worse. but hey, at least tomorrow you’ll make a better first impression when you meet your mom’s boyfriend and his son” missa shrugged

“i guess you’re right”

he dropped you off at your aunt’s house and you got ready for bed.

~

you woke up early to make sure that all your things were packed and ready to go.

although your mom was in a long distance relationship, her boyfriend had proposed to her a month ago which is why she decided to move the two of you all the way to california.

you had been staying at your aunts house with your mom for about a week now and today was the day that her fiancé was back from a business trip.

this meant that it was also the day the two of you were moving in with her fiancé and his son. yeah… it was definitely a lot to take in. his son still lived with him even though he was in the same grade as you. this was probably because his dad was always away on business trips. at least you’ll have one other person you’ll know at your new college.

“ready to go, mija?”

“yup” you smiled and the two of you said goodbye to your aunt

the car ride to your mom’s fiancés house wasn’t too long. you looked around the neighborhood and admired the huge houses.

as you approached a house at the end of a cul de sac, you almost gasped at the sight. this house was beautiful. it had so many windows which definitely meant a ton of rooms. you were in awe.

your mom put a code in at the front gate and she parked in the driveway. the two of you started unloading your luggage just as a tall handsome older man approached your mom.

“hola hermosa, im so happy to see you” he smiled and embraced your mother

“and you must be y/n, it’s very nice to finally meet you” he took your hand and kissed it gently

“it’s nice to meet you as well” you smiled

the three of you brought in all the luggage from the car. the inside of the house was even more beautiful. you admired its entirety as your mom and soon to be stepdad were catching up a bit

“well, feel free to look around ladies. i will show you to your rooms and— oh yes! i wanted to introduce you to my son. vieja.. y/n… this is my son alexis” he gestured to the figure that was making his way downstairs

your blood immediately boiled as you realized exactly who he was. you said nothing as your mother hugged him and introduced the two of you. you felt enraged and embarrassed all at once

this is definitely going to be a shit show.

[ampblamp]

AU: Here's How Billford Can Still Win

(part 1: make that triangle miserable)

tl;dr: i want bill to have his ability to live in denial about what he did shattered by several important figures from his past BEFORE he can enact weirdmageddon. this way the yaoi can be messy and toxic (at first) but NOT doomed. it's self indulgent for sure but i'm doin my best to keep it IC as i can 🫡

this first post is just me figuring out how i think things would have to go down on bill's end for billford to have any chance of working out. take my hand. come away with me to my autism world

i'm still figuring out all the details of what would have to change to like. weaken bill's mental defenses enough because he HAS been able to shove his guilt down for so long. i do think everything with ford would be one of the key factors cause he had never connected so much with any of his prior human partners and obviously things souring fucked him up enough to have a turbo breakdown. (i know it's also because of the amount of times the plan has failed but i think he's also feeling rejected by so many humans not liking him lolll)

i think his breakdown after getting wasted at o'sadley's would happen like in canon, save for its repercussions. once bill starts thinking about his mom and everyone else from euclydia around when he's about to be arrested, maybe it would open the door for thoughts of them to keep slipping through his defenses. and suddenly thinking about weirdmageddon and hearing himself and other people talking about it could have a chance of triggering him.

i know personally that trauma can jump in and completely drag you back in time regardless of any logic, and i think him having that kind of episode sooner might be the key to getting him to face that he doesn't want to keep repeating what he did to euclydia because it's never going to be enough to convince the small, small voice in his head saying 'stop'.

because that's just the thing. bill has forced himself down a path of destruction to Prove to himself that its actually for the best to tear down "miserable reality" and replace it with his own vision. his drive and impatience to get weirdmageddon going is BECAUSE he wants to permanently cement that narrative in his mind with the ultimate "proof". because if the narrative fails, not only will he not be able to mentally cope (without help) he'll completely fail the henchmaniacs, who he promised a new home, and look vulnerable and weak, which he's TRAINED them to view as what should be destroyed.

i think the o'sadley breakdown and my proposed worsened repercussions of it would destabilize him, but it wouldn't be enough to stop him. what would push bill over the edge in this hypothetical would be several powerful entities from bill's past like the axolotl, the oracle, and time baby working together to somehow target his mental weak point. cause remember, time baby canonically KNOWS bill's weak point.

also like. To Me. the axolotl and the oracle are people bill was close to and has seen himself in at one point* but they matured and he didn't, and that's why he's SO hostile towards them.

*the oracle being an ex-henchmaniac is canon but i say this about the axolotl because of xolotl. look him up, it'll freak your bean.

alsooooo... ford not being as immature and vengeful as bill hoped he was is probably why bill broke down so hard - because it reminded him of the axolotl and the oracle. all the people who he actually connected with on a deeper level have left because of the same reason. but bill was always too terrified to confront everything he's done, which would be necessary to follow them.

so ends part 1... next, i think i'm gonna try to figure out how ford and bill would meet again (haha). ford is sucked into the portal right after (maybe even during?) the whole o'sadley's deal iirc sooo... fun point in the timeline to play with!

also hopin to draw stuff for this AU in the future :]c calling upon the power of my newly aquired ADHD meds lmao

[tastybluesprite]

LMK TICKLE HEADCANONS!!!!

Ok I started this a couple days ago but now it’s time I posted it. I only did a few characters but maybe I’ll do a part 2 with more heh

MK

- Most Ticklish guy ever to exist fr

- Like he’s insanely so

- Mei loves torturing him lol

- She knows ever one of his weak spots and it drives him crazy

- I don’t think he’d be embarrassed about it but if I pair this along with my headcanon that he has adhd and can get overstimulated too quickly, I’d say he can’t handle it for too long

- His worst spots are his feet, underarms, and sides

- But his death spot is probably his belly

- He can’t handle any touch there like it’s too sensitive lmao

- His laugh his loud and bubbly and is endearing to majority of people who hear it

- He’s honestly a ler also

- Not as much as most people he knows though

- He won’t admit it but he’s never won a tickle fight before (ESPECIALLY with Mei)

- He doesn’t really tease the person he tickles so much as he more complements the person he tickles

- “Awww your laugh is so cute!!!”

- “Wow how’d you get your skin to be this soft?”

- (He actually learned this form of teasing from Wukong lolll)

Mei

- I honestly don’t think she’s that ticklish tbh

- Like she’ll giggle and stuff if you tickle all the normal places one would be ticklish, but besides that not much

- It KILLS MK that he can’t get her back easily

- Buuuttt she does have one death spot

- *cough* Her feet *cough cough*

- Get her feet and she’s thrashing and begging for mercy

- But she LOVES tickling MK

- She thinks his laugh is so adorable and just constantly enjoys hearing it

- She’s a RUTHLESS ler

- An absolute menace

- She can dominate almost anybody in a tickle fight

- Part of what makes her so dangerous is that she can take mental note of each persons reactions so she can easily figure out all their weak spots and death spots

- She loves to use baby talk for teased

- It’s so damn flustering lmao

Sun Wukong (Monkie King)

- I hate this loser so much /affectionate

- As much as he loves tickling people (being the trickster he is who loves making people laugh), he is actually super ticklish himself

- Also do y’all remember him having stage fright (which had me laughing my ass off lmao it was so funny), because him being ticklish would make him even more adorable

- His stomach, ribs, and thighs are pretty bad spots, but get his armpits and he’s literally dead

- He’ll probably do almost anything you say lmaoooo he’s so ticklish there

- When MK found out he had a field day

- I mean, THE Monkie King, all powerful god and deity… is ticklish?

- He made MK swear not to tell anyone (wouldn’t want to ruin his rep after all) but of course MK told Mei

- Also if his laugh gets loud enough he’ll snort

- Which is another thing he’d also rather die than admit

- Funnily enough he isn’t that embarrassed about being ticklish

- He understands that’s just the way body’s work and sees it more as a instinctive defense mechanism to protect yourself

- But he’d rather die than admit he likes it lmfaoooo

- He’s he’s a ruthless ler also

- He likes to tease by stating the obvious of the matter

- “Ohhh I’m sorry does this tickle?”

- “Bud I can’t hear you over all that laugher it’s too loud!”

- It’s honestly scary

- But he is a trickster so what would you expect lolll

Macaque

- Just like Sun Wukong, he’s also ticklish

- I like to think he’s equally as ticklish, and has similar tickle spots to Wukong

- Though he has a death spot on his ribs

- Digging in there will have him hysterically cackling

- Unlike Wukong, who doesn’t actually mind being ticklish, Macaque would honestly rather die than admit it

- Wukong loves to torture him

- When they get into fights that become physical, Wukong will use tickling to take him down

- Sometimes when he’s being a little shit, Wukong uses tickling also to bring him down a few pegs

- I love the idea that he’d be very much incapable of saying the “t word”

- He absolutely cannot and it’s hilarious

- Even hearing it is flustering and embarrassing

- Sometimes Wukong will tease him by randomly saying it (such as “that has me tickled pink!” that sort of thing)

- He HATES it lmao

- Wukong is the worst teaser and tickler for him but it’s only because he knows him best

- He knows just what to do and say to torture him and take him down

- Someone help him lol /j

[johnslittlespoon]

Opinion on a/b/o or omegaverse?

yes 😎 !! ok tbh i don't actually know a ton about the workings of it, it's a trope(?) i haven't ever looked into much for some reason, but the few things i do know about it are sooo fun to brainrot about

idk how much yapping you've signed yourself up for but i word vomited as usual so xoxo ik it's usually pretty heavily sexual obviously and this is out of character for me to say but the first thing that comes to mind with buckbucky when i think of omegaverse headcanons is actually not nsfw, shocking??

i always think about nesting/scenting, because of this post i made (jokingly) (mostly) theorizing about john sleeping in gale’s bed during the stalag episodes, and because it looks like he drags his face across his pillow before the fight in the yard which could easily be mistaken for him inhaling gale's smell

pairing that with all the dog coded tendencies and it’s like. the perfect recipe for being obsessed with gale’s scent and wanting to bury himself in it/in anything gale, ie: curling up in gale’s bed, stealing gale’s clothes/pillows/blankets (i actually have a bit i wanna include in yad(iym) where john swaps his and gale's pillows for 'comfort' lol i feel like this feeds into it), loving to bury his face in the crook of gale's shoulder (crease of his thighs... armpits... yk the vibes) and inhale or mouth at him.

i'm always torn on the actual alpha/omega roles though because i feel like they both equally exhibit traits of each one so it's hard to decide which fits better yk? obviously speaking with my own headcanons and characterization of them in mind since everyone views them differently, but with the most cliche/obvious traits i've seen– they're both quite equally protective/defensive, i don't see either of them as 'smaller'/more gentle/docile, i very much headcanon them as switches and verses so i don't see one of them being more submissive than the other, etc. i think i'd be boxing my brainrot in with settling on one dynamic for them in my head lol

i don't care for mpreg/any pregnancy tropes lol so i don't have opinions on that aspect but i've said how i feel about breeding and domesticity kinks so >:)

i feel like john is Very bite–y in all contexts so the claiming bites fit him so well LOL, gale's probably used to being a dart board for his teeth atp so it's not too far fetched for them. tying it into all the wordless ways they promise the future to each other... there could be so much feeling in it.

and then yk. both of them wanting to dick down/be dicked down 24/7. natural lubricant would be Mighty convenient LMFAO, this is a case where i feel like omega john would fit so well because i usually write him as being a lot more sex focussed/easier to work up due to him being more impulsive and less filtered, so being able to just yk. get to it. would very much enable his constant state of wanting to jump gale's bones :-)

that's all i've got i think, that's really the extent of what i know about the dynamics of omegaverse stuff so feel free to add! shocking that as a past teen wolf fanatic i didn't read more stuff about it lolll but hey wwII yaoi wasn't on my 2024 bingo card, talking ab wwII omegaverse shouldn't be shocking either sigh <3

[seelestia]

right back at u! >:D

also i hope college has been going well for you too and that you're able to take breaks /gen but ye fr gonna need that strength cuz i'm hanging in there ;v; but npnp!

HEJSKFJ IN MY DEFENSE I COULDNT RESIST CALLING SUNDAY "FUNNY CHICKEN MAN" 😭😭😭 but jokes aside i started calling him sunny and sometimes even "birdie" because i like to think he gets shy from affection and touchstarved smh

eheehehe in that case calling him pretty princess is worth it (and he has a soft spot whenever i smile so there's that too),,yk speaking of which i would ask him if he wqnts to read some old fairy tales with me cuz he used to do that with robin when they were kids :00

anywayyy, how have u and ur selfships been doing? (btw i saw u like aventurine and i thought have u ever affectionately called him mr peacock /lh)

thanks, vi!!! dw, i'm taking pretty good care of myself here ^_^ it's always nice to indulge in selfships with you ‹3 also, i hope u don't mind if i compile your asks and answer them all in this one!

the way you said you couldn't resist calling him "funny chicken man" LOLLL it reminds me of this:

sunday: from where I stand, society's ideal system should be "seven rest days". following sunday, there should ensue a second, a third, and indeed an infinite procession of sundays—

vi: heh. i like your funny words, magic man.

those nicknames are sooo cute waaa! i agree, and if i may add, i also think that he'd feel shy (taken aback) bcs since he had been raised in an environment that prioritized etiquette and propriety, nicknames like "sunny” and “birdie” would contain a sense of casualness i think he secretly finds refreshing (altho, it takes some time to get used to)! ty for giving him the normalcy he deserves. robin and i are cheering for you two <3

use that soft spot of his to your advantage!!! /lh. SUNDAY WOULD SAY YES!!! c: actually, i can see him as the type to go in depth about a particular scene in such a passionate way like he used to do with robin that he doesn't even realize it himself. and when he notices how he's been rambling so 'uncouthly', he clears his throat and apologizes... please do not comment on his reddening cheeks.

my selfships are doing well :3 i have more interest in hsr lately, so my main one rn is liaven (me & aventurine)! oh, i fear just liking him is an understatement /pos. he's been in my head since the start of penacony and he still hasn't left 😵‍💫 and to answer your curious thought, i used to! but sarcastically during our pre-relationship stage where we flirted/argued with each other often LOL. but !!! now that we're in a relationship, i mostly just call him by his real name (which took some time for him to tell) ‹3

—✶—

AWWW!!! double date sounds cute >< trying to have sunday and aventurine get along will be the hardest struggle pfft /j. but that's so cuteeeeaugsuasghsh. aventurine is deffo the type to get a bit "jealous" and he shows this by subtly distracting the cats with smth like a treat or a toy. “now that we'd be undisturbed for a few moments, where were we?” and he says this so innocently too LOL this silly guy smh /aff. . . wbu & sunday? :3c

+ i agree btw! altho i'm allergic to cats (their fur & saliva gives me skin hives T_T), but i still think they're super cute ‹33

—✶—

oh, no worries! i also have an idea baking in the oven muahaha. responding to your pun with another pun bcs this is one of my love languages /p!! WHEHWHWH ALSO ROYAL AU HELLOOOO ><

mhm, aventurine would deffo be a prince too imo! altho, the story of how he became one won't differ much from his canon backstory if he still retains the same 'luck'. . . so, in my imagination, i see him as a prince that was once a poor commoner child who lost his entire family to war AND LIKE being the only survivor, people deemed him "lucky". this caught the intrigue of a wealthy noble who gave him work as a servant. then, eventually, he climbed his way up the ranks! SORRY FOR RAMBLING but basically yeah, i agree with you that he'd be a prince who didn't become one by blood. don't wanna go too in depth bcs i'll just expose how not normal i am abt him /lh.

as for me, a servant/maid to a noblewoman maybe? but the trope would be that my lady wants me to be a wingwoman for her and aventurine — but he ends up falling for the wingwoman instead (cue facepalm). so it's also forbidden love in a sense, similar to you and sunday! :0 STEALING THE GROOM HAAHAHA fae vi just sprinkles dust on the attendees like nope, y'all saw nothing /j

how did you and sunday meet in this au? did he venture to the forest and get lost before being found an enchanting fae? :3

[toournextadventure]

since this blog has lost all rules and 🕷️ got some advice here, hopefully i could too?

so basically i’m in a trio (ik- first red flag) and it’s me, S and Z in this gc. i started noticing in the past few months that S and Z have gotten closer and started sharing more stuff privately but then they’ll bring it up in our gc and when i go to ask about the info or joke, they shut me down, ignore me, or outright say it’s not my business.

(before anyone suggests they’re together, S is a girl and Z is a guy and Z is sooooo gay. he’s not out but it’s super obvious so it’s just me and him being homiesexuals while S is straight- just some context lol)

so with that being said, i’m not at all saying they can’t have their own friendship and they’re not allowed to talk privately, however, when they bring their private tea, jokes, and plans into our gc and then act like it fine with 3rd wheeling, i’m sure you can see how this would get tiring, which it has.

so i just was wondering what advice you could give for this situation- and i also just kinda wanted to vent lolll

thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any advice :)

-🎸

Y'all can always ask for advice! I'm all of y'all's older sibling now, remember? I've adopted y'all. But I promise I wasn't ignoring you! Yesterday got hella crazy and I had to have a good think about this one since I've never been in this kind of situation (I've never had a gc with friends, does that make me sound lame? 😭). So that being said PLEASE take this with a grain of salt, yeah?

First, I don't think being in a trio is necessarily an immediate red flag. I don't think I've ever been in one, but I would imagine it's not necessarily a bad thing. And branching off happens sometimes, and like you even said, it's not even necessarily a bad thing or an issue. Like, it happens, you know?

But, that being said and as you mentioned, it's not that they're having their own convo it's just that they're bringing it into the gc and, lowkey, turning the gc into their private chat but with an audience. And, understandably, it's not fun to be the audience when the purpose is to be a gc.

SO I'll tell you what I personally would do. Again, take it with a grain of salt, I've never been in this situation, I don't know much background, and in the end it's up to you! But I personally would try and have a chat with whichever person you're closest too because they would be the least likely to try and turn it into A Thing when it doesn't have to be. It can be over text, a call, in person, whatever you're most comfortable with. But you can essentially just say you have no issue with them talking, but the gc should function as a trio gc, where it's an equal space and everyone is on equal ground.

I guarantee it won't go that smoothly, because it never does with real people and real talks. But end of the day, whichever one you're closest too, just try and talk to them and let them know how it feels. They might get defensive (most do, it's natural), but make sure you say how it appears/feels to you. All you can try to do is get them to at least see it from your perspective. I can't say if it'll make a turn for better or worse, but I'd bet you'll feel at least a bit better getting it out.

End of the day, if you ever wanna come rant, feel free! I promise it's a safe space, rant just to get it off your chest or advice, or even just to yell into the void. Love ya, smooches 🫶

[itadorysss]

I loathe you for the update. A little 😭. Mikasa's mom has to ruin their dinner and Her dad is such a 'Fake it'. But Eren as always, saved Mikasa 🥹. Is he really planning to marry Mikasa or it's because he was caught off guard? 🫣. I liked that from the last chapter you made us happy and for the latest one you made us sad. Are you planning to send us to psychiatric ward?😭😂

LAUGHED SO HARD AT THIS OMG 😭 I'm sorryyyy

but yeah, her parents really aint it at ALL, its no wonder she had issues with previous relationships, after seeing the way they are with each other, her mothers defensiveness partly stems from obstinacy and partly from guilt, and I think her dad genuinely doesn't think that hes been a bad parent to her, but being passive to the point of becoming uninvolved is also a form of emotional abuse, so I think this was a big eye opener for him

and eren being the greenest of green flags of course! as for the marriage thing: I don't think Eren would say something that he doesn't mean, so I think in that moment he was absolutely being serious, but they're only 21 so I think they still have a while before that happens lolll

I had to make everyone happy before we delved into the depressing stuff, just to soften the blow yk? 😭 you might miss the next chapter in a psych ward so stay sane for me okay?😭💛

[withleeknow]

JEN HAPPY MONDAY HAVE YOU SURIVEEEED OUR NYANGRACHA IN NEW YORK??!! the unfortunate T.H collab is haunting us once more but- they're glowing + i'm extra happy mimo got the chance to attend (his doe-like boba eyes are especially endearing at these public non-skz events 🥺) ✨️ I flipped my shit seeing this video: tinyurl.com/pehy3kd9

my face the entire time reading lifeline: 🥺 also what is up with you and your choice of last lines??? menace behaviour. and THE ROSEEE ref. 😭😭

[🍙 tmi: one of my biggest regrets of this year is not seeing the rose when they came to the o2 - I was distraught seeing clips of their coachella set one month later 😢 woosung's just announced his own solo tour this autumn + I am 100% vying for tickets when they go on sale 🫡 if you were london-bound I'd secure them for the both of us <3 😶‍🌫️]

no but thank you for accepting me into your safe space 🌱☁️ it's developed a more wholesome side of brainrotting where I'm gently reminded of you and/or your writing in random moments in the day w/ lyrics or uppie plushies or the fist-biting content of the algorithm- here you go: tinyurl.com/m5ecxxf8 I think this performance is a great rep. of experiencing the enha-rotation-dilemma: zero focus. cross-eyed. vocals + arms.

...i saw that exact video and sent it to everyone and fell to my knees screeching like a banshee.

in my defense i am in love with his face card and his pretty hair and his boba eyes and not so much the fit bc once again TH is the enemy of fun lmao, but yes oh my god look at nyangracha they're so beautiful 😭 i'm so glad that he was in nyc before me (according to my original plans i was supposed to be there at the same time) bc otherwise i would've actually exploded at the mere thought of being in the same city as him :D

if there's one thing i'm proud of with my writing it's my last lines!! sometimes i center whole fics around the last line 🤣 fun fact: lifeline - the rose is on the wt playlist :p

i would LOVE to see the rose live one day 😭 my friend went to see them in budapest back in march and it looked so fun!! she cried 😭 i would 100% take you up on your offer to see woosung in london but unfortunately homegirl requires a uk visa lolll that's why i need skz to have more shows in the schengen area 🤣

oh my gosh i keep thinking about our uppie skzoos holding hands COME ONNN 😭 i appreciate you very much and maybe this is my daily delusional hours but imagine 🍙🌱 in london WAHHHHHH 😭

i've accepted that i have a bias line in enha and it's heeseung/jay/sunghoon in no particular order and they're all just dragging me down the rabbit hole more and more each day my GOD

[gabrielsaiki]

my favorite saiteru things to see in fanfictions are

1. teruhashi stuttering and messing up a lot around saiki (since she’s the perfect pretty girl it’s really different but it helps saiki see more that her feelings r really real)

2. teruhashi being snarky and bossy and stuff, or making jokes around saiki that doesn’t seem like behavior of the perfect pretty girl

3. saiki making jokes around teruhashi and getting embarrassed when she calls him out for actually liking her- like let’s say he’s asking her on a date (he’s gonna say it indirectly bcuz he’s saiki) and then she says “are you asking me out on a date” and he gets embarrassed and defensive

i might make a head canon list thing later lolll

[wonwoonlight]

📣: boyfriend! Minghao // fluff // meeting the members :D // 1090 words

warning: yn is also insecure D:

A/N: this was so cute to write AAAAAAAAAAAA btw i alrd have another seungcheol meeting the member req soooo im looking forward to writing that too hoho thanks for the request anon! i keep on hearing minghao’s little giggle as i write this lolll happy weekend guys!!

find the rest of requested drabble here

“It’s going to be okay!” Minghao laughs as you shake your head and try your best to pull him to you. “They are not going to do anything to you, I promise.”

“What if they don’t like me?” you ask instead, a pout making its way to your face. “I don’t think it’s time yet, Hao.”

Minghao rolls his eyes as he steps closer to you and then loosely wraps his arms around your figure. “They’d be a fool not to like you. We’ve been dating for like, what, six—seven months? It is definitely time to meet them.”

You lean forward, your forehead leaning against his shoulder as you mumble something into it.

He chuckles a little, then brings his hands up to take your face in them so you’ll look up at him. “You know I can’t hear you, right?”

“I’m just shy and I don’t know what to say to them,” you repeat.

When Minghao has told you he’s bringing you to the dorm today, you think it’s because everyone’s out and he finally gets the chance to show you the painting he’s been working on. So, when he tells you he’s introducing you to the members, you immediately go into defense mode and try to talk Minghao out of it.

It’s not like you don’t want to meet them, but the thought of meeting all of them at once scares you and, most of all, you’re afraid they’d think you’re not suitable with their brother. All in all, you know Minghao wouldn’t care even if they think so, but they’re his brothers and you don’t want them to clash opinions because of you.

The insecurity within you has always won and today it’s side by side with your tendency to be shy and nervous around strangers.

“I’m going to be there, aren’t I?” he tries to convince you. He doesn’t even know how long the two of you have been standing in front of the door to his dorm. “Plus, they’d understand if you don’t talk a lot because it’s your first meeting, after all.”

Your fingers grip the side of Minghao’s coat, all sort of thoughts surging into your mind. You’re genuinely afraid they’ll talk bad about Minghao’s choice of girlfriend, though it’s not because you think they’re bad people. Frankly, you know they’re better than that, but the thought still doesn’t comfort you enough to stop the exaggerated scenarios in your mind.

Minghao holds back a sigh, instead he moves his arms upward from your waist to your neck. He dives you into his embrace, his lips brushes against your forehead as he leans down a little. He’s about to whisper you words of encouragement when the door suddenly opens, a very flustered Seokmin stops in his track at the unexpected sight.

“Oh…?”

Minghao drops his arms, one of them wrapping itself around your waist to help you relax. “Hi, who’s inside?”

“Just Mingyu, Seungcheol, Junhui, and Hansol,” he answers, his eyes curiously peeking towards you.

You don’t dare to meet Seokmin’s eyes, instead looking at the ground. God, this is so gonna be a bad impression, isn’t it? Minghao has always told you Seokmin is probably one of the kindest person he’s ever known, and yet that suddenly doesn’t matter because you just know he’s going to dislike you and—

“Let’s go in?” your boyfriend asks hesitantly as his eyes lock into yours.

To be honest, you feel bad for being difficult when you should be happy that Minghao thinks you’re good enough to meet his members, but the insecurity within you is going bigger and bigger and it’s getting harder not to listen to them. But you nod, you can’t disappoint Minghao further by rejecting this offer when the door in front of you is already open.

As you take your shoes off (without letting go of Minghao’s hand), you can hear their voices and the sound of what you assume to be TV. They’re laughing to themselves, someone laughs loud enough that his voice thunders over the others.

“Oh, Minghao, you’re home already?” Seungcheol greets him, not seeing you standing behind Minghao.

Mingyu tilts his head to the side. “Is there someone behind you?”

You’re thankful that Minghao just chuckles in amusement instead of being annoyed at you latching to him. But his arm goes to where you are to push you forward so you’d stand by his side. “Wanna introduce you to someone.”

Your hand is still gripping the side of Minghao’s coat as you bow to them, Minghao telling them your name. You don’t see it, but Mingyu makes a silent ‘Ooh’ and he has his teasing grin out when Minghao immediately shakes his head, telling him not to do it.

“Hi, I’m Seungcheol,” the leader speaks first, you don’t even know how he’s suddenly in front of you. “Thanks for taking care of our Minghao here.”

You smile hesitantly, taking his hand. “He’s the one taking care of me,” you tell him, your voice small though it seems like Minghao’s happy with it by the way his grin is widening.

“The tall one is Mingyu, next to him is Hansol, and then that’s Junhui. Seokmin is taking out the thrashes,” Seungcheol says gently, pointing at each member as they simply wave at you. Mingyu’s grinning so widely, you notice, his wave a bit more intense than the others.

You look at Minghao, and you don’t know how he gets what you’re thinking, but he just whispers that Mingyu is always excited when meeting new people.

They seem to understand your shy nature, as they all don’t pressure you to talk to them. Junhui simply says he’s heard a lot about you, and you let out a small laugh at the way Mingyu whines at your boyfriend for never telling him about you.

After a while, Minghao pulls you with him to his room. The members don’t say anything, simply lets you be because they know you’re not going to be comfortable (yet) with their teasing.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he grins as you plop down in his bed, your face already buried in his pillow. “You even laugh at their jokes a few times.”

You just grunt a little, making Minghao laugh. He rolls you to the side so he can see you, your pout immediately greets him after.

He laughs again as he takes the space beside you, his hands go to your cheeks to push them together. “4 members down, 7 more to go.”

[lemonyyellowboi]

addressing the couch situation ie raf's couch in sonny's office situation

please do excuse the style I'm super unhappy with this show right now lolll also full disclosure i only fully watched 2 eps+read some news articles & reddit posts of season 23 and i'll put my complaints in the endnote

⋯

Endnote: if you are someone who thinks olivia & svu writers literally can do nothing wrong heyhowareyou...then this might not be for you ;-)

TL;DR Obviously, these are not personal attacks against anyone's fav per se, I know they're all written by the writers. And I for one am not a writer, I did not conceive any of those characters, and my opinions are not valid uwu.

And the world sucks right now, I hope everyone is still hanging in there.

The 500th ep:

Watched this one to get the couch scene. Turns out it was a deleted scene. *sighs

Am I mistaken, or for some reason, with half a million dollars budget, S*U cannot find someone to write a fully-fledged, self-contained, coherent, and reasonable story that would last the whole 40 minutes? For their important milestone episode?

On the other hand, the delivery is just so cringe, like they (the characters) are all pretending to like each other and be excited about their reunion. Why is Nick here, he doesn't have to be here, just to be trashed, again? All the reddit Stabler simps want him instead, may as well, but I don't really care.

On Liv's (yet another, is that really necessary, why are there so many) past fuckbuddy "mask off"...yikes. It feels like just another non sequitur to be added to the Benson Trauma Bingo Card™ and never mentioned again. (I heard there's some age gap inconsistency, hmm.) And for all her readiness-to-call-everyone-a-victim-to-be-coddled she completely dismisses any implication of herself being one (like it's a bad thing and I'm so good it couldn't possibly be me) is some serious psychological issue that's never gonna be addressed. Well, I supposed it was also like this with William Lewis.

The Barba ep:

I hope they would leave Rafael alone.

In principle, I understand why he has to come back as a defense attorney. I've made this point on twitter before, the big guest spots in an ep are usually the victim, the perp, and the defense. And I sure don't want the other two for him. I can even excuse him just going straight to Rita style, we knew he's been having shady side business after all.

But, BUT, the reasons, the motives--two of them now if we count Sightless--are just so lame. He takes this case so he could go easy on Liv on the witness stand despite...professional integrity? And how does he even know about this case in advance before it even goes to trial in such detail that would propel him to do that? Who's tipping him off?

That said, I really don't know much about that case, I don't watch OC or any other eps and both sides suck IMO they can just have a fistfight downstairs at the courthouse, see if I care lolll. Weasley *really* should stop touching Raf. (and I know his name, the misspelling is intentional)

Also, I hate how Liv talks to Rafael now. It was like this also in Sightless, very--have to buzz the buzz word-- gaslight-y. Only she can turn a blind eye to the wrongdoing of whoever she deemed empathize-worthy that day; only she can bend the law to suit whatever agenda she's having at the moment. "I don't trust you," she says. Well, she says that to everyone who happens to piss her off that day. That sounds nothing but emotional blackmail, everyone who values her trust and thinks they are normally trusted is subjected to this, Nick, Amanda, and Rafael specifically. (Weirdly never Sonny, they don't have that kind of relationship IMO.) And it's a shitty move.

She is also increasingly condescending to her colleagues which...

I saw someone on twitter asserted something along the line of "how DARE they think they are entitled to help Olivia Benson", to which I say, it is this kind of thinking that enables that kind of behavior.

Anyways, we get 2 seconds of barisi eye contact so I'll take this W.

[lycanresistance]

wait how did you get to talk to jason in your about KSDJFLKJFD

LOLLL its so funny i used to be on this aphmau fancast that would stream on twitch when s6 was airing which got like a decent viewership (decent enough to attract jasons attention haha) (we made him prove it was him, by liking tweets too lol) he got really defensive abt criticism of s6 (we had previously been super positive and loving the season but this was at like the end of the season so aaron was a serial killer and the incest they later retconned was still canon so everyone was becoming a bit more critical though we were definitely still talking about how we enjoyed it) specifically linking this video essay about how the creation of naruto.

so the other panelists were watching it but i kept talking while they were because its kind of a bad fancast if you have like 22 minutes of dead air but he got angry at me. thus the screenie was born

he was kind of just being. the joker

(this was one when we were assuring him that we liked the series)

this was the peak of my relevancy and therefore its very interesting to me that people know about this blog but not that! this was in 2019 and i honestly wouldnt have remembered it (or gotten all these screenshots) if i hadnt sent a message to someone that i could ctrl+f 'jason' to search. im not offended over it or anything i dont take this kinda stuff to heart i just think its super funny

[shoutogepi]

Best Friends

┌───────── ⋆⋅✧⋅⋆ ─────────┐

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 2.7k

[ ☁︎ ]  angst

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : unrequited feelings :’( really brief mention of sex (not nsfw tho!) & also (underage?????) alcohol consumption! 

𝐛𝐢𝐨 : On your last night in the dorms, Shouto realizes he has feelings for you, his best friend. 

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : idk honestly i started writing this last night and was gonna abandon it... but then val tagged me in an angst ficrec and i was like ok well! this is a sign to post bc then i will have at least one sho angst on my masterlist lolll oops :o

└───────── ⋆⋅✧⋅⋆ ─────────┘

   ─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

🅃onight was the last night in the dorms. Three long years had come and went, and now everyone’s belongings were cleaned out and secured away with cardboard and tape, leaving an empty wing that was currently filled with bodies, neon lights, and red solo cups. Music was pounding through the hallways, reaching every room and allowing no one total escape from the celebration.

You had been occupying the dance floor with Mina and Tsuyu for the last half hour, and now that you had sweat off the latest drink of the night, it was time for you to set off and find your more moderate-tempered companion. The pink-skinned girl wiggled her eyebrows at you when you alerted them of where you were heading off to, Tsuyu planting a love tap on your ass as you made your way from the swarm of people. The frog girl wasn’t usually so loose, but the alcohol that pumped through everyone’s veins had left only a select few unaffected. Tsu, just like you, was one of the ones that was happily allowing the weight of daily student life slip from her shoulders.

There were plenties of warm bodies swaying with the heavy bass rattling the hallways, shadows of couples and interested singles leaning against the walls, whispers and rowdy laughs echoing as the entire graduating class of UA partied the night away. Skimming by the line outside the bathroom, your feet found their way toward the end of the hall easily enough, taking the path you had so many times before.

A creak sounded as you pushed the cracked door open, the sight of the open shoji screen allowing moonlight to stream onto the bamboo mat floor which crunched quietly underneath your tentative steps.

“Shouto?” you whispered his name, eyes taking in the silhouettes of the packed boxes against the walls before you turned and saw a shadow sitting on the mattress beside the door.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Your voice jolted Shouto from his wandering thoughts, his attention turning to you right away. He seemed surprised to see you standing there, and he peered up at you from his slightly hunched position on the couch. He acknowledged you with your name, his voice low and steady. By the sound of it, you wondered briefly if he had even had a drop to drink tonight.

Blinking at him a few times, you tried to adjust your eyes to the contrast between the bright moonlight and dark shadows. When you could finally see the planes of his handsome, somber face, you spoke, trying your best not to slur. “What are you doing over here all by yourself?”

He paused, lagging for a second before the corners of his mouth curled and his eyes crinkled at the sight of you. “Just thinking,” he answered, examining you in that intrigued way he always did. After a moment he must have reached the conclusion that you were some level of smashed, for he patted the empty space next to him on the bed with a smirk and said, “Come sit with me.”

For a moment you wondered why he was alone, but then your brain caught up with you, and you realized that his other friends were probably busy with their own issues or endeavors. Ever since Midoriya finally grew a pair and asked Uraraka out, the two had been going at it like rabbits every spare second they had. And you could only imagine how busy Iida was as class rep, trying to keep the party at least a little bit under control. Momo was definitely helping him, and you had seen Bakugou begrudgingly holding Kaminari up with Kirishima under his other arm when you’d passed by them in the hall… Leaving only you to come and rouse the half and half hero from his solitude.

“Well that’s not allowed tonight!” You exclaimed, fist slapping against the side of your thigh. You would’ve used both hands for emphasis had the other not been occupied with a half-full plastic cup. Your legs felt like jello as you moved toward him, his cool hand wrapping around your arm to offer his support and steer you into the spot beside him. You almost fell but he held you up with the one arm, chuckling as your butt finally met the safety of the duvet.

“Thinking’s forbidden?” he laughed at your insistence, the sound rich and deep as his hand lingered on your wrist.

“Yes,” you nodded vehemently, pulling your hand away from his to cradle your precious cup and shooting him a playful, sideways glare.  “Brain turned off for the night. It’s in the fine print of the party rules, of course.”

Shouto gave you a funny look, eying you from the side. He repositioned himself, sitting upright and closing his eyes. It was hard for him to remain stoic when the quiet sound of your amused giggles tickled his ears, but he managed a nod before his eyes settled on you again. “Okay, I think it’s off.”

Conversation was always natural between the two of you, he never had to struggle to keep it flowing. And he liked talking with you, being in your presence. Which was the only reason why he was still entertaining this ridiculous charade.

“How do you feel?” you inquired, a goofy grin on your lips.

There was a twinkle in your eyes as you teased him, but Shouto held no qualms with your playfulness. Most people were still afraid to joke with him, believing that he was too obtuse to understand humor. Sure, he had struggled with the transition to school life in the beginning of their first year, but after you had transferred into their class second year, he found himself opening up even more than he already had.

“I feel… the same.” The grin on his lips remained, his eyes settled on your drunken form. His gaze flicked to your smile, shining in the moonlight and making something twinge in his stomach. He cleared his throat, pushing down the feeling that haunted him every time he looked at you too long. “This doesn’t really work, does it?”

You pretended to entertain the thought for a moment, eyes rolling as you considered it animatedly before your lips broke into a beautiful smile again. “No,” you giggled, shoulders shrugging in your cute, drunken fit. “But it’s easier when you’re not sober!”

He turned, faux surprise hung from his brow. “You’re drunk?” Sarcasm dripped from his voice and splashed onto you where his jean-clad thigh brushed against yours.

“Shut up!” You punched at his shoulder and pushed him away from you, shuffling yourself in the process.

Your hair swished with the movement and suddenly the soft, sweet scent of you was crashing over him. He breathed it in shamelessly, allowing himself to indulge in the warm feeling that suddenly emanated through his chest.

“You could try it, if you wanted. It really does help,” you offered your cup to him, shrugging.

Shouto eyed the red plastic cup, hesitant. He really wasn’t one to drink, but then again, neither were you. Tonight was about celebrating your graduation from UA, opening the next chapter of your lives. The thing was, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to move on when it meant leaving all his relationships either behind him or pushed to the side. Okay, maybe he was kidding himself… there was only one person he would miss having in his daily life, and that person was sitting right beside him— the same one who was the source of his conflicted feelings.

“Or not!” your hand retreated and you took a little sip, the sweet jungle juice washing down your throat easily. “No pressure. It’s your choice, Sho.”

He nearly groaned at the nickname, the one he only allowed you to call him. Grabbing the cup from you, his calloused fingers brushed over your soft knuckles. He smirked at the excitement that surfaced in your gaze as he brought the lip of the cup to his mouth, emptying the contents in one long go. The liquid was sickly sweet, masking the bitter poison that entered his body alongside it.

“That was… truly disgusting.”

“Whaaat?” You balked, grabbing for the cup in dismay. He kept it out of reach, even though it was empty, setting it on the far table instead. “It’s good, I dunno what you’re on. It’s really, really good. Heheh, just like me…”

Shouto blushed at the innocent innuendo, looking at you as you closed your eyes and let out a noise between a sigh and a laugh. He gulped, realizing that the alcohol was already taking effect and he was beginning to slip under its influence. Your method of “turning your brain off” was proving to be much more effective with the alcohol’s aid, but that was a whole other issue which he failed to foresee. 

He usually preferred to keep his brain on and fully functioning, especially when he was alone, with you. That way, when you roused the butterflies in his stomach and pulled on his heartstrings, he could tell himself to just ignore it and focus on how important your friendship was to him. But now, his defenses were failing him, and there was nothing he could do to stop his heart from beating faster, palms getting clammier.  

“You’re good?” he reiterated quietly, watching the way your tongue swiped across your lips, enchanted by it.

You chortled, finding the thought entertaining, apparently. “Yes! I feel really good right now.”

“Ah,” he murmured, sitting back and allowing the pillow he had propped up to sink around his form. “I feel... kinda good, too.”

A mix between a laugh and a scoff escaped you at his confession. “You feel something already, Sho? Wow, that’s so efficient.”

Shouto didn’t really know what you meant by that, but he only smiled softly at the happy look on your face. He closed his eyes and listened to the fast rush of blood in his ears, the feeling of warmth prickling at his skin. He wasn’t drunk, per se, but he felt a little lighter than usual.

You had said that drinking would turn his brain off, but it seemed only part of it wasn’t functioning. The other side of his mind was working overtime, much to his chagrin. 

He was suddenly aware that this would be one of his last moments with you before everything would change. You were going to an internship not too far from his, only an hour away by train. But seeing you wouldn’t be nearly as easy as walking down the hallway… and it could only happen if the both of you found a time that worked and had the motivation to travel the distance to meet one another. He wasn’t sure if you wanted to do all that, just to see him.The realization hit him hard. 

No more sneaking to one another’s room and having whispered, midnight conversations. No more studying together and simply being in your presence. No more opportunities to let his gaze linger on you longingly, nor chances for him to grab your hand when your knuckles brushed against his in the middle of your walks. 

He felt sick at the thought of living without you. Maybe… maybe it was time for him to face his feelings head on. He had spent so long denying the recognition of them, the acceptance of them. The loss of you was imminent, unless he could finally force himself to say something, and it had to be soon.

As if you had picked up on his distress, you hummed quietly and shuffled closer to his side. His quirk spiked at the sudden proximity, heat flaring up as your head came to rest on his shoulder.

“I’m a sappy drunk, so I apologize for what I’m about to say,” you mumbled into his t-shirt, his skin prickling as your warm breath wandered through the seams and onto his skin. 

He huffed out a laugh to ease your worries, but he stayed absolutely still, unwilling to move a muscle in case it would somehow scare your body off of his. 

Then you whispered, “M’so lucky to have met you, Sho.”

Shouto choked on thin air, subtly wiping the moisture on his palms across the tops of his denim-covered thighs. Your scent surrounded him, and he couldn’t resist resting his head on top of yours, slowly breathing between your locks. “I… I feel the same, Y/n…”

It was quiet for another moment, his mind playing out a hundred ways to confess, trying to find the right words. Meanwhile, you were simply enjoying his reciprocation and the peacefulness of the quiet away from the party, completely unaware of his inner turmoil.

You sighed and he shivered as your breath scattered across his collarbone again, almost jumping when your fingers landed softly over his. How you remained so soft with their vigorous training, he had no clue. But your fingers felt so warm, so right lacing with his. His throat was thick with apprehension, a lump forming there as the seconds ticked by. It wasn’t often the two of you were sitting so close together, and he wondered if he was a piece of shit for thanking whatever God there was out there for you being kind of inebriated and so touchy right now. 

Slowly, he turned to look at you, eyes wide and conflicted, taking in how truly astonishing your beauty was up close. You lifted your head from your perch on his shoulder, gaze locking with his before your lips curled into a meek smile. Digits tightening around his, you squeezed his hand and rubbed your thumb across his knuckles.

He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, screaming at him to do something— anything— whatever it took for him to just form the words and tell you that he was in love with—

“Thank you for being my best friend.”

—you… He blinked, the words registering. 

You continued. “I know we’re moving away from each other, but I never wanna lose you. I cherish our friendship too much for that to happen, Shouto.”

Your words cut him. 

Friends. Friendship. 

His blood felt like it had frozen in his veins and he had become a statue, stock still as you carried on thoughtlessly, eyes now flickering over to the moon hung low in the indigo night sky. 

“Please promise me that we'll never change. We might grow as people, but… our friendship will stay intact, right? I don’t wanna grow apart.”

It hurt. 

Time had stopped and his lungs shriveled up, his body aching as if you had just lodged your knee straight into his ribs. His tongue tasted bitter suddenly, and he could almost hear the sound of his heart cracking.

But Shouto was good at hiding his emotions, years of compartmentalizing them giving him an edge that no one else he knew had. He kept his face neutral, even if it felt like he was withering and dying inside.

“I just… don’t ever wanna lose you.”

It was almost impossible to force his lips into a thin, hollow smile. But he managed, even if it felt like prying iron with a crowbar. He looked into your eyes and nodded.

He understood. To some extent, he truly understood. 

“I don’t want to lose you either, Y/n... Don’t worry,” he took a deep breath, forcing the next words out even if he felt like he was about to be sick.

He cherished his bond with you too much to risk chancing it, confessing to you, and throwing it all away after your certain rejection.  He loved you too much to ever hurt you, and he was too selfish to let go of you, too. The only one that would suffer from this was him, and he was alarmingly alright with that.

If it meant that he got to hold onto you, even for just a little bit longer. 

If it meant that you would be happy... Even if he wasn’t.

“We’ll always be friends... I promise.”

   ─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

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afJSNKJKDKJ WRITING ANGST FOR MY BABY IS SO HARD AHH I LOVE U SHO PLS... reader is so dumb to see u only as a friend i hate that dumb bitch  ughhh (TдT)

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𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐩𝐢 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏 . 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.