#he’s been evicted
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#he’s been evicted#daily kuzunoha#devil summoner#devil summoner raidou kuzunoha#gouto-douji#shiragiku
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WE'RE GETTING EVICTED FROM OUR APARTMENT.
#ok yeah not the best news to suddenly reappear on after almost a month of radio silence#but a shit ton has been happening lately its fucking wild#i had to call the ambulance for my mom :[ DW she's ok !!! just some stomach problems#i went to the club the like last last week ish ?? it was.. okay i wish my friends werent super self concious#abt dancing bc damn it was kinda boring.... almost just stood there for 5 ish hours#got plastered the other day at a friends house too#and we stayed up and watched the whole entire cars franchise and this is probably my biggest hear me out yet...#lightning mcqueen.#LIKE NOT THE FUCKING CAR OK LIKE IF HE WERE A REAL GUY HE WOULD B HOT#......yes its owen wilsons voice yeah ok i get it yeah. shut. shut it. SHUT UP.#anyway cars 1 is a classic a masterpiece muah muah cars 2 is abysmal and cars 3 is pretty good#ALSO I MISSED LESBIAN VISIBILITY WEEK I AM DEVASTATED WHAT DO I DO I FAILED YOU LESBIANS IM SO SORRY........#the karmic debt from me missing it will curse me somehow..........#anyway yeah we r getting evicted i think idk so were apartment hunting and its so difficult everything is so expensive :']]]]#landlords r actually the spawn of satan#thats it for the update ill doodle smthn maybe i dunno zzzz#frambling...?
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I don't have any money cuz I had to pay my housemates rent and he hasn't paid all of it back yet so I texted him this morning like hey are you able to pay me back 180 so I can take pollux to the vet but he could only give me 100 so now she just gets to suffer I guess
#I am kind of irritated about the rent thing anyway#because it was late to the point that our landlord was pretty much like if you don't pay this I'll start the eviction process#and my housemate just didn't say anything to any of us?#and then I paid it and he's not able to pay me back rn and I'm like. what was your plan dude#like what was the fuckin plan there#this is sort of a reoccurring problem which I think is another reason why its irritating me#plus it almost felt like he was trying to guilt me when he couldn't hive the 180 this morning?#like sorry that I want MY money for my dying rat but whatever#anyway sorry its just been a stressful and irritating time and now pollux has to suffer for it for no fucking reason#ghost posts#text
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Maybe I need to follow F1 closer because I totally missed the part where everyone became Logan Sargeant’s number one fan.
#or is it the james vowles hate club I cannot tell#logan seems like a really nice guy but he’s never shown any kind of potential for f1 if we’re being real#I don’t think putting a f2 guy in his place is the smartest move but it’s not like I don’t understand where williams is coming from#also yes I’ve read the articles about what’s been happening with williams#feels a little too dramatic is all#it’s funny when people couldn’t care less about nyck being evicted last season
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miscellany (again),, tags in the last image by @pyrotechnicarus
#adamandi#vincent aurelius lin#quincy cynthius martin#ambrose wellington bassford#portia elizabeth harper#beatrix valeria campbell#bit of nonsense bit of sillies (ohhh she thinks she's so funny huh.. anyways the brainrot. out out out)#please don't ask me about them take them at face value laugh and move on or smth i keep worrying i've read them Wrong#these have been living in my head rent free for a week and i'm now evicting them politely#anyway i drew all these as scribbles in my sketchbook in-between exam week and today i wanted them out of my head. so digital it is#i've spent two hours on this haha as a. would you even guess. a break from the beatrix thingy i've been planning because that one's rendery#quiet little notes on this... um.. i have started drawing quincy (idk how!!!)#yknow after the last ambrose literal study. i'm kind of mad about the fact that doing an unintentional study Worked???#like. he's the ONE character i have a grasp of how to draw. everyone else is 'randomly whack until you get the vibes and vague structural#integrity'. can we talk about shape language real quick though because ambrose is oval beatrix is circle quincy is rectangle#vincent is square and portia is triangle. that's how it is in my head.#texture wise. vincent is charcoal and graphite. ambrose is traditional painting blended. beatrix is crosshatching and ink.#quincy is like... marker? and watercolour. portia is digital and cell shading. i can't explain any of the correlations they just Are#for the. oddly detailed quincent i Wasn't intending to draw i had to pull up the musical and re-reference them. could draw one then not the#other?? so i struggled with quincy until i Got them and then i couldn't for the life of me get vincent right.... is it something about like#drawing one character at a time? like there's only room in my mind to understand one set of proportions at any given moment???#a fun little fact was just that i began photo refs as always from hahnji jang's page (which has been? saved in my search autofill now??) an#i didn't even have to get a specific image of quincy being in angst. but for smiling vincent i had to purposefully find oh ms reporter#well! consider this yet another part in the trying to figure out how everyone looks like/vibes as/gets drawn as Characters#a secret little code i keep for the stuff i make now is that i need to have something about the drawn medium that makes it unique to itself#as like opposed to a gif or screenshot or photoedit. it has to have extra meaning. and this appears two ways: one is through Implications i#the more Finished stuff. (aka poster series?) and the other one is by engaging in Ideas (generally posts. or memes/incorrect quotes/etc.)#had a really really interesting convo with a friend irl about fanart and fandoms. they were really active for genshin and stuff and so the#experiences between large and small fandoms were fascinating to compare.. i think i prefer the .. intimacy(?) of just doing what i obsess#over instead of looking for the statistics and clout and notes now. the art i make feels more meaningful and intentional that way.
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It’s the fact that the legend that is Cirie isn’t even being taken out by some huge strategic move that was concocted to outplay her social game and rip the rug out from under her but instead she’s being taken out by two men who’s only game moves have been winning practically every competition since jury started with no real strategy behind them and Fucking Bowie Jane
#I HATE IT HEREEE#this should have been cory😭#he would’ve made this theaterical#and not shit talked cirie the whole time#he’d be praising her to the high heavens fr#like ya i’m evicting you but it’s bc you’re absolutely incredible and i adore you#BUT NAH WE’RE STUCK WITH MATT JAG AND FBJ ACTING AS IF THEY’RE THE GREATEST BB PLAYERS EVER#AND SAYING SHIT LIKE CIRIE ISNT GOOD AT THIS GAME#UGHHH LET THE SEASON END#bb25
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The only character that mattered
#we happy few#whf#nick lightbearer#fanart#wehappyfew#lightbearer#he's been living in my head since 2016 and I don't have the heart to evict him#my art
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he's refusing to share. send help.
#lily talks#i've been evicted from my silly little bed#his now#(i love how he matches with the sheets though)#(makes the brain happy)#(plus he does look very silly)
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i want to be clear that i'm not genuinely rooting for anyone atp in the game. mostly i'm rooting against jared bc he's nasty, and inspecting everyone else like they're a bunch of interesting ants in an ant farm
#bb25#i want cirie to go far but i'm praying on jared's downfall so idk what that means#i used to like matt but he's been giving wierd vibes thus recently#anericory is cute but easily distracted i want them to at least get to jury + maybe one gets evicted and a revenge tour#bowie jane#ms felicia vs red; the lieutenant war interests me and i'll watch that#jag chicken is there#meme i believe in you! but the collective case of crazy in this cast is not.. in your favor#izzy? :/#cameron can choke i hope he's next weeeks boot#blue why.
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My energy is too frazzled to color this but (hits your postal 1 dude with the dilfification beam) (hits your postal 1 dude with the dilfification beam)
#postal 1#postal dude#postal#this is meant to be if he did get evicted so hes not doing suuuper good on the right there but hes not dead! <:'D#in a healthier world hes probably a little more like on the left#still am not budging on the hairline though fight me-#this is around i want to say 40s to 50s. He also just wrinkles more#cause i dont think that man has ever NOT been stressed in his life (said in the most loving way possible)#but im still kissing his forehead gently
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the problem of the matter is i did internalize so much of what ex friend believed about me. even though i knew he was wrong and knew what was happening and tried to stop it and if i took more action to stop it would have been abusing power i held in a way i couldn't live with myself for.
#A BAD PERSON TRYING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE WOULD'VE GOTTEN YOU FIRED AND EVICTED IN WINTER IN ALASKA YOU MOTHERFUCKER. WHICH I DID NOT DO#he was renting a room from my dad. for cheaper than he wouldve been able to find anywhere else. his brother was too#his brother didn't pay rent for over 6 months and my dad just forgave him the debt because my dad knew how much of a difference it wouldve#made when he was that age. and i had told him ex friend was family to me & my dad applied that to the brother too. bc he is a good person.#and one of the strongest parts of my support system. and i didn't say a word to him about what was happening until i knew he already had a#plan for when he would be ending ex friend's lease. so there would be no subconscious impact on ex friend's housing either#mgmt at work straight up asked me if i thought ex friend should be fired immediately multiple times and i'm in retrospect livid they put me#in that position but told them to go by the strike system in the employee handbook and to follow policy that ex friend knew perfectly. that#it couldn't be on me as acting assistant manager to choose#and after 10 months of workplace harassment i got a different job to save my life. ex friend didn't get fired.#he did saw trap shit to my brain!!!!!! jesus christ#he moved cross country to live with his long time gf he called his wife despite never having met irl. to a way more conservative state.#despite being gay. and she left him this summer lol#hadn't checked his twitter in over a year when it got pulled up frm an old link and i saw that. and when he was already at a low point too#me voice. oh no who could've seen this coming. from how you behave in every relationship in your life#may delete this in the morning. but i have to talk about it sometimes#i'm never reaching out for closure both bc he wouldn't give me any and because i know it would trigger him and i don't intentionally trigge#people. unlike him :)#vampire pit#like. i have to talk about it sometimes. i have to talk about it.#jam posts
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she's all tucked in w me
#gotta keep her warm#sort of just waiting for her to pass.... I'd take her to the emergency vet for euthanasia#but I had to pay one of my housemates rent this month or else we'd be evicted lmao#and he hasn't paid me it all back yet and I have like 20 dollars#which does not cover a vet bill believe it or not#I texted asking if he has at least 180 he can give back because thats the amt at the emergency vet#but it's like 8am so#I'm just listening to her little wheezes#trying to tell her its okay for her to go#but she's always been stubborn#ghost posts#image
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still reeling over the fact that almost 2 months ago the guy i was talking to (not dating, but definitely 'seeing') took another girl TO MY AND MY ROOMMATE'S APARTMENT to FUCK HER ON OUR AIR MATTRESS while i was ON VACATION THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY
honestly. how do i get myself into these situations
#followed by him being blackout drunk sleeping on our DOORSTEP the very next day#he said he thought it was weird i said i liked him so soon into meeting him#but he would constantly say shit like 'falling for you more now' and 'my friend told my sister i have a new gf now'#like OKAY HOMEBOY#so dude it's so fucked i'll give more details in these tags in case anyone cares for a lil more context#before my trip back to california for sdcc i talked to him#said hey i know we're not dating but while im gone for almost 2 weeks are we gonna mess around with other people? like where is ur head#he said 'you can sleep with other people because you have a higher sex drive than me but i won't be doing that but you go ahead'#and im like okay weird response but okay cool#before i ended up leaving actually i did end up hooking up w someone and when i came back to my apartment he said 'looks like someone had a#'fun night' but he said it like....in a salty fucking way and i was like ur not allowed to be mad bc you refuse to be in a relationship wit#me despite me LETTING YOU LIVE WITH ME AND MY BFF FOR THE LAST ALMOST MONTH#oh yeah that part too#he was evicted and was staying with us for a few nights that turned into almost a month#NO he did not pay rent YES he did eat all our food#YES im an idiot for not seeing his red flags sooner but i was infatuated#so anyway my friend goes 'he's salty you fucked another dude' and im like excuse me how the fuck is he gonna be mad when WE TALKED ABOUT TH#*THIS#now granted it was a day before my trip so it wasn't ON my trip that i slept with someone else#but im like. how are u gonna be mad im gonna go enjoy myself when you've made it painfully clear you want me but want 0 strings#so anyway while im in california my bff calls me like hey dude john is on our air mattress naked with another girl#i was like excusethefuckME#because 1. he wasn't supposed to be at our apartment anymore so i was surprised he was there at ALL#and 2. how are u gonna ever be living RENT FREE with someone and INVITE SOMEONE ELSE OVER TO FUCK IN THEIR PLACE#i could honestly go on but i doubt anyone read this far as it is#this situation has fucked me up#first red flag should've been his name being JOHN
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Tried to get back into my Serrennedy childhood friend AU. And if I am allowed to be very personal on main for a moment, I think my being unable to work on a fic where Leon has a shit load of trauma because of my trauma is Something
And I'm realizing there's probably a lot more to unpack than I thought. I thought the reason trying to reread any of it and working on the draft for the next chapter was simply because I wrote it while in the traumatic situation, so it reminded me of it.
I didn't ever intentionally channel what I was going through into the fic… but it slipped in. Leon's hair not being washed often enough. One of the many, MANY traumatic things that happened this year was our landlord illegally having our water shut off, which we pretty much just lived with because we didn't think it was worth fighting. So I did go an extended period of time without bathing. (We had a gym membership where we could shower, but I have sensory issues with showers so :/)
Leon having no one except Luis. That's not a more specific trauma, but I've struggled with feeling lonely for a long ass time now, and the more recent big trauma fest definitely worsened the problem, because literally no one knows the full extent of it. I can't really talk about it because some of it is stuff that's been slowly building for years and the trauma dumps would have their own trauma dumps. Even with a couple close friends, that already know the background and wouldn't need all the context, I haven't felt like I could talk about it because a lot of the most traumatic elements are almost entirely self inflicted, which makes it embarrassing to admit to. (Things would have been traumatic no matter what, but it could have been significantly less traumatic.)
The dirty hair and loneliness are currently the only connections to my personal trauma that I'm aware of, but I'm certain more of it slipped in that I'd notice if I reread all of it. After having the realization about those, I just had to close everything I had open related to it because I'm just. Not ready to unpack all of that.
I think unpacking it will be necessary and therapeutic, but it'll be messy and probably get worse before it gets better, and the one very amazing event that served as my lifeline to keep going and not just give up on life when I was in the thick of the bad situation is in less than a week, and there's absolutely no way I'm going to risk jeopardizing my enjoyment of it by falling apart before it.
#i feel bad putting this in the main ship tags but i really need to get this off my chest#it's been festering for a long while#serennedy#serrennedy#rlly wish i was a fictional character so someone would make a post psycho analyzing me#bc the childhood friend AU is def a unique convergence of a Lot of trauma bc it's the only one that hits me so fucking hard#seriously it hits me HARD. ugly sobbing every time ive tried to revisit it. even tho other things w pieces of trauma don't do that to me#the piece of the rockstar AU that has luis sleeping in his car because he was evicted? absolutely 100% certified Heather's Trauma™ moment#and yet the rockstar au just makes me HAPPY. no tears#ok im done w this topic now. gonna get off here and have a geddy lee therapy session#(letting myself ugly cry while listening to a specific rush song) tonight but tomorrow will be happy#god i hope i don't wake up embarrassed i posted this tho
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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
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just found out my BIL who lives w us has paid rent 2 times this year and paid utilities once. so he owes us like $6000 . and we asked him about it 2week ago (before doing the totaling up of how long it's been since he contributed money) and he had no excuse and still hasnt communicated if he is paying or not
#to be clear we have a mortgage so the bank has still been getting paid our monthly rent#so we arent getting evicted or anything#but i thoight he was sending money to my fiance and my fiance was sending it to me with his cheques#and my fiance thought he was sending it straight to me#lol . lmao
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