#he’s basically the dumb jock of heaven

[jamskateable]

Gabriel flaunts his pretty body without realizing it. he doesn’t scold any wandering eyes, though. after all, is it such a shame to admire God’s greatest creation?

or he’s just THAT oblivious. no one knows, really.

either way, his charisma, his diligence, and his half-naked lounging have earned him the appreciative eyes and ears of every angel in Heaven.

[sunlitmcgee]

 Hello! This is a ramble-style masterpost type thing about the version of c!Benchtrio that is in my fic “Heal What Has Been Hurt.” It is filled with headcanons, ramblings, interpretations and general behind the scenes things that I’ve had in mind when it comes to how I write them and their various gender presentations throughout the course of the fic.

 I’d like to say that I am a GNC fem-presenting AFAB transman. This is just something to keep in mind when it comes to my thoughts and opinions on the concept of gender, gender identity and presentation. If anything here doesn’t align with your personal experiences, that’s okay! Just please don’t be an asshole, because this is based upon MY experiences with gender identity and is inherently quite personal for me.

 Another thing I’d like to say is that while the majority of what I say here is related to my AU fic, some things reflect my feelings around DSMP canon and my perspectives of the characters 

I always wanna remind that HWHBH!Benchtrio’s relationship is strictly queerplatonic and that anything described here is not meant to be taken as romantic or heaven’s for-fucking-bid sexual. If you think something here is…just….keep it to yourself and don’t say it to me. Pretty fuckin please.

 And on that last note, nothing here is meant to apply to ANY of the CCs who created these characters. This is about the characters and ONLY the characters. This isn’t a place for truthing or whatever. Get the fuck outta here with dat shit.

Don’t be weird, ya dumb piece of cu-

Let’s get into it, shall we!

 For starters, let’s start off with the basic idea that, to me, Mister Author Man, whose opinions on these characters obviously shape the way I write them but shouldn’t be taken as the word of god when it comes to vague stuff that’s more open to interpretation, all 3 of HWHBH!Benchtrio embody a sort of “archetype” of masculinity. A different flavor, one might say. Their presentations and performances of the concept vary, but the core idea of “man-ess” is present in all 3, albeit to varying extents.

 If we want to go in order from “most masc” to “least masc” in terms of traditional ideas/roles, then let’s begin with our darling little draggie goat HWHBH!Tubbo.

 HWHBH!Tubbo is buff.

 HWHBH!Tubbo is fat, muscular, and heavy set.

 HWHBH!Tubbo is short but built like a full-grown bull, horns and muscles and all.

 And above all else, HWHBH!Tubbo is the member of the trio that to me embodies the sort of masculinity that I shall lovingly deem “The Stronk Guy.”

 When it comes to how he’s dressed/often described, you rarely see HWHBH!Tubbo in anything traditionally feminine. He wears tank-tops, button-ups, heavy coats and thick winter pants. He wears overalls,which are a very boyish sort of clothing item commonly associated with the American South and physical labor, usually on a farm. The two sets of horns of his head make up for his generally short stature, making him seem as tall as he is wide, thus increasing the intimidating presence he has thanks to his claws, scales, wings and oh yeah constant smoke that pours out from every hole on his round little face. Round face=wide facial features=square shape. Squares in terms of character design are often used for characters that are sturdy and strong with a big presence in the scenes they’re in. Another very “macho” trait. Manly men get your attention as soon as they are in the room.

 Out of the 3, Tubbo is the one that works out the most.

 He is the one who performs most maintenance-based tasks around the house, such as repairing furniture. 

 He helps with the farms in Snowchester and lifts many heavy tools.

 He’s the one that gets a spider out of the house when it scares Michael when he goes to lay in his little race car bed.

 He picks both of HWHBH!Alliumduo up like they weigh nothing.

 And he is the one that makes Tommy go from “C!Tommy if he had proper therapy” to “stereotypical young teen girl swooning over her popular jock crush in an early 2000’s disney channel original movie” thanks to those burly arms of his. He has a way. With the Tommy.

 Boy could snap you like a motherfucking glowstick-

 Basically, when in regards to his gender and overall presentation, HWHBH!Tubbo is the kind of boy who is best at home in himself when he can go at with his power tools in the lab and go home wiping the sweat from his brow to his two lovely partners so that he can eat dinner, help with all the dishes, take a bath and kiss both his children’s foreheads, then flop himself onto the bed and hug both of his platonic husband’s.

 He isn’t a very girly boy.

 And that is okay!

 HWHBH!Tubbo doesn’t feel drawn to most typical “girly” things. He mostly wears earth-tones along with his coats and leather jackets. He likes flowers, yeah. But everyone likes flowers! And he cannot cook for shit, so in his mind, he really isn’t the “”lady”” of this household.

 (Any usage of words like “woman”, “man”, lady-like or “manly” here are intended to refer to the traditional stereotypical Western ideas behind gender and gender roles. Just as a friendly reminder!)

 But there’s a reason behind heal!Tubbo’s specific brand of manliness that isn’t just his personal preference. Think back to Manburg. Pogtopia era. Think back to the time when c!Tubbo served as a political spy during a time of war against a nation that was ruled by c!Schlatt: a bumbling idiot obsessed with “gains” and protein powder who constantly hurled verbal abuse and beat down on anyone who defied him, be it physically with his hands or politically through various abuses of authority.

c!Schlatt is an almost Comical icon of toxic masculinity. Loud. Harsh. Always quick to Anger. Aggressive and self absorbed. Dismissive of the emotions of others including his own and valuing raw strength and power above all else. On several occasions, there were scenes where he’d directly attack the masculinity of the cabinet members, be it telling c!Fundy(a transman!) that he’ll “never be a man” or talking down to c!Tubbo and calling him weak, soft, cowardly and all manner of insults commonly hurled at people our society sees as men who don’t conform to a rigid binary.

 With hwhbh!Tubbo, he has taken that weakness that an abuser saw in him and Embraced it for the strength it actually is. He is soft. He’s fat with a big round belly! He’s physically strong, yes, again, bulk like a tank. But in terms of his emotions, by Schlatt’s standards, he’s much Weaker than he used to be because of how open and vulnerable he is: and that’s a Good Thing.

 Manliness isn’t toughing it out and beating down on anyone that defies you. Manliness is giving your 2 kids 20 kisses on they little heads as you hold them to your chest and carry them upstairs for bedtime.

Manliness is Softness.

Manliness is Openness.

Manliness is Gentleness.

Manliness can let you Heal.

 Let’s talk about heal!Ranboo. Much like Tubbo, Ranboo has a pretty typically masculine presentation. He wears suits, formal vests, sweaters and button-ups, but has a dash of more feminine apparel with his various earrings and rings and necklaces that contrast to the lone wedding bane and bee-charm bracelet we see on heal!Tubbo.

 Fashion aside, heal!Ranboo’s sheer height makes him stick out like a sore thumb. He’s a tall, thin creature with long, gangly limbs and shiny scales. He’s a fighter! He knows how to handle himself in a scuffle. He prefers to use his words and to avoid fighting via diplomacy, but he is not afraid to use violence(or at the very least Threaten To) when it comes to Clingyduo or his children. It’s best to say he simply has a bit more self Restraint than Tubbo. But only Just.

 heal!Ranboo is the middle child of heal!Benchtrio. Despite this, he is the universally agreed upon “mature one” and often takes the role of the “””straight””” man compared to clingyduo’s goofy mischief.

 With this notable maturity, Healboo, like his counterpart in canon, takes it upon himself to be the household’s main Provider. He’s the breadwinner. The moneymaker. The one who goes out each day to work and toil in the mines to gather resources to bring home. He brings home the bacon! Therefore, he is also the one in charge of the family’s Finances. His name is on the contract for the mansion’s construction. There were many jokes about c!Tubbo being a golddigger, way back when the two first got married. I see no reason to say that there weren’t similar jokes made between the two when they first got together in HWHBH.

 Financial control is a right that’s long been limited to men. Men do the work, pay the bills, own the house and make the Big Choices for a family.

 Going back to the point about his skills in combat, it is traditionally a Man’s job to protect his family. It’s Man’s Work to be tough and fend off the danger. The man brings home the Kill(money and household finances) while the woman cooks, cleans, raises the children and provides whatever Affection her husband may require. Golddiggers, as a concept, are women who specifically seek out Wealthy Men to reap the riches from this(very harmful) arrangement.

 But all of this hinges on the idea that a man is a tough, strong, scary, loud go-getter who’ll lash out at any opportunity to climb up The Ladder ™. 

If not that, then a wealthy man is one who has to be Smart. Clever. Good with his words. A charmer. A suave, dapper figure in fitted clothes with well-kept hair. A man with visible wealth in the form of pretty jewelry. A tall, dark and handsome kind of fella. A princely sort! This type of Man is one you see at gentlemen’s clubs and cashios who most certainly is inclined towards the academics.

 hwhbh!Ranboo is. Basically that. He’s just transmasc. And aromantic asexual. And platonically gay. And riddled with 70 flavors of psychosis that’s worsened by his severe anxiety, paranoia and memory issues.

 (hwhbh!Ranboo is, specifically, a young trans man who had his body hijacked and controlled by an older man in a position of authority who used that control to abuse him and his loved ones. Just a side note to think about)

 Basically, hwhbh!Ranboo has the Aesthetics of the “tall, dark and handsome and filthy Rich suave ladies man” type of manhood…just as a paint over a very anxious, very emotionally-driven young queer boy.

 He spoils his beloveds. He coddles and pampers them. He is a partner who finds joy in showering his qpps with material gifts In Tandum with his physical affection and words of praise. In many “traditional”(read: sexist and fucked up) circles, this would make him someone who is perceived as Weak. He’d be Emasculated for his behavior.

 But ofc, he’d be denied his manhood in the first place in these types of circle, because being trans, heal!Ranboo’s masculinity is one Directly in contrast to the roles he’d be put into on the basis of his birth sex. 

 That makes you think: maybe there’s a reason Ranboo sticks to very masculine dress when he’s out and about, and only wears stuff like dresses and skirts when he’s at home with his two partners. People he trusts. People he feels safe around.

 heal!Ranboo is a breadwinner/provider who turns to those he provides for for comfort and safety.

Manliness is seeking Comfort.

Manliness is not viewing your Fears as a Flaw.

Manliness is indulging in self Expression that makes you feel the most like Yourself.

Manliness is showing Love to those you care for.

Manliness is Caring.

Manliness is Gentleness. 

 Now. Let’s talk about the main character protagonist himself. c!Tommy. The boy. The guy himself. The most character ever of all time in the history of anything.

 hwhbh!Tommy is, to put it simply: A pretty boy.

 He’s very pretty! He’s got long hair that goes well past his shoulders, shiny blue eyes, a lean(for the most part) figure that makes him rather petite next to Beeduo, and a pair of earthy brown wings that have flecks of gold on each feather. He wears skirts, dresses, lace, silk and cardigans. Most of his outfits have either natural earthy tones(greens, blues, browns, etc) or brighter pastels(purple, pink, white etc). He wears jewelry. He had butterfly pins that he bought from Claries. 

 On top of that, he’s got a shit ton of plushies, blankets, pillows and general soft cutesie comfort items. Plushie Henry is a big one.

 He’s got many traditionally girly hobbies and interests. Knitting. Sewing. Cooking/baking. Gardening. He loves to sing and likes to read about the symbolism of different flowers. He’s made a point for there to be plenty of plant life in the Big Innit such as in the lobby and connected cafe. While video games are stereotype as being a “boys’ thing”, one of heal!Tommy’s favorite games is OMORI, which is a game with a very cutesy art style that consists of soft pastel colors and a cute, feel good ost. Again. Very girly, very pretty.

 heal!Tommy is a character that I’ve given a lot of my Personal Gender Stuff as a transguy who found myself leaning into a lot of girly cutesy feminine things when I was first recovering from my trauma. For me, it was a matter of being able to indulge in media/hobbies/aesthetics that gave me a sense of comfort and safety while also further allowing me to explore my gender. 

 For hwhbh!Tommy, it’s a matter of him finally being able to indulge in what gives him the most joy without being hurt for it: loving things, loving people, and caring for them. Being a nurturer.

Who sings to the flowers to help them grow?

Who made a Prime Path and keeps it maintained?

Who inspired Wilbur Soot to make L’manburg, acting as a sibling’s muse?

Who fills the server with music? With song?

Who reaches out and tries to mend broken relationships?

Who forgives?

Who tries his very best to understand, even when it hurts him more?

Who is the person that takes care of the server? 

 c!Tommy is a character who is Driven by Love. Platonic love. Familial Love. This boy loves and he loves to SHOW his love to people by caring for them in whatever way he is able to. He isn’t always the best at it. He is often brash and harsh and loud and blunt and yes, annoying. He’s a little shit.

 He’s weird in a weird little girl way.

 He is also an incredibly caring, sweet, emotionally intelligent person who always puts the needs of others First Before His own, often always to his own detriment. Caring for cWilbur in Pogtopia. Reaching out to cBeeduo during the outpost. Forgiving cEmeraldduo, time and time again. Asking his abuser “why don’t you hurt” while in the prison.

 In my experience as an AFAB individual, women* (*or people society views as women) are expected to 1: keep their own emotions bottled up and tend to the emotional needs of others around them, 2: be quiet, submissive, polite and “ladylike” 24/7 constantly. Or else we will be labeled as annoying hysterical bitches who are just looking for attention.

 Sound familiar?

 In HWHBH, Tommy’s gradual shift from his original masculine presentation of a plain t shirt and pants to his current mix of sweaters, skirts and dresses is a visual way to show his shift throughout his recovery.

At the start of the fic, Tommy was still riding the aftershocks of his near-death in the prison. He wore simple clothes, lived in an empty house, hardly ate, slept and was unable to take care of himself. The entire first chapter is XD watching him nearly freeze to death because he wandered out into the forest without a coat while dissociating. His hair was thin and cut short. He thought that beeduo wanted nothing to do with him. He was unwell. He was alone.

 But look at him now. Long, thick hair. Healthy diet. Gained some weight. (Mostly) healthy sleep schedule. Lots of family members and friends he talks to daily, either in person or over the phone.

He has a garden.

He sings to the flowers.

He sings constantly.

He is always singing or talking or downing something. He enjoys doing chores. He thinks it’s fun.

 Throughout the entirety of the DSMP storyline, c!Tommy was punished for Wanting. For wanting People. For wanting to be Loved. For wanting TO love without having whatever/whoever he cared about taken away. Now he has a child(2 actually, he’s just silly and hasn’t realized it) and a father and 2 platonic partners who love him dearly. He has hobbies and favorite TV shows. He grows his hair out, wears skirts and plays with his father’s make-up. He gets flustered when Beeduo call him pretty or beautiful. He watches Sailor Moon. He made an oc self insert for it. He regularly daydreams about heal!beeduo being tuxedo mask the same way a female lead in a teen romcom talks about going on cheesy dates with her crush. He has a flower cow with buttercups on it. 

 Michael calling him Mummy and Shroud calling him Mimi doesn’t need an explanation, I feel.

 For a character whose main joke catchphrase is some variation of “I’m a Big Man”, cTommy really is very Girl Coded. Hwhbh!Tommy is just the result of me taking that and amplifying it for the sake of comedy and fluff. Mostly fluff. Because I think he’s a character who deserves the softness that can come from “girl stuff” and things we commonly associate with femininity.

Masculinity and Femininity and all forms of gender stuff and gender expression are, at the end of the day, just made up gobbledy gook we humans made up in the same way we made up shit like Money and Language. But I still like to talk about them, because it’s a topic I find to be very interesting and important when it comes to storytelling.

Manliness is Nurturing.

Manliness is Loyalty.

Manliness is the capacity to care for and protect and fight for what you value the most.

Manliness is the attempt, however vain, to understand the people around you(though ofc, there are always times when you shouldn’t because it isn’t Safe for you)

Manliness, like Womanliness, is whatever YOU want to make of it. Same with any other clusterfuck of a queer identity. 

I just think that hwhbh!Benchtrio’s gender stuff is fun to talk about. I hope you enjoyed reading about it :)

[jjtheresidentbaby]

Rating Stranger Things Ships

(I’ve seen so many people do this so I wanted to)

(Some of these don’t have ship names as I can’t remember them or just can’t spell sheubeud)

(Btw feel free to send in any asks you have any these or just want me to talk more abt them)

- Byler 8/10- I love them but I understand the people who don’t. Honestly before season 4 Will and Mike were low on the favorite character tower, they were basically at the bottom actually. But I love Will in season 4 and season 4 Mike is so good to me (even if he’s oblivious). Also them being absolute idiots when they start dating is canon, just little whispers back and forth, Mike crushing will in his sleep, wills constant need to do laundry bc Mike drools in his sleep, Mike posing funny for paintings, Will getting his picture taken by Mike every five seconds- just awe

- Mileven- 4/10- Eh. I didn’t even like them in 1&2 so there isn’t much to say, I think season 3 showed some cute moments and the part in the pizza place in 4 was so cute to me. I don’t really love the idea of them staying together but I get peoples liking to them

- Jopper- 10/10- I mean come on, the best, love them, they need to get married and move in together

- Jancy- 5/10- I loved them in 1&2 but three ruined them, it was just so bad and then 4 on top of that proves they need to break up. It’s that thing where the build up is way better than the actual thing, they just aren’t it and some of their fans get crazy so it makes me dislike the ship even more

- Stancy- 8/10- my loves <3, would be a 10/10 if steve didn’t do that billboard sign thing in 1. Steve being a housewife while Nancy is out making the money sounds like heaven to me. Lovers to enemies to friends to lovers again trope give me (I know they weren’t really enemies but shush) (also if anyone tells me Steve would force Nancy to have kids, fuck off and shut up, disrespectfully)

- Steddie- 3/10- IM SORRY!!! They just got so much hype and for what?? I don’t hate them or anything but they do nothing for me. They’re just eh. Meh. Bleh. Bland I guess

- Ronance- 6/10- I could see it and I could get behind it but it’s not like my otp or anything. They are super adorable and I love seeing fanart for them so yeah, good ship just not my fav

- Jargyle- 10/10- if you don’t think they’re gay you’re just plain dumb. Stoner bfs for life

- Stonathan- 8/10- need I say more? Steve and Johnathan? Yeah. Yup. 1&2 just make them have the best enemies to lovers arc known to man

- Steve x Johnathan x Argyle- 10/10- I feel like this is self explanatory but yeah them, them over so many

Steve x Johnathan x Argyle x Nancy -11/10- YES I NEED IT!!! It’d solve every single problem ever!! Omg I would sob so bad if I ever found a fic of them

- Stoncy- 10/10- one of my favorite ship of the older kids. They’d be perfect and having Robin third wheel at all times is great, they are everything to me. The three of them in 2 makes me feral

- Lumax- 10/10- how can it not be a 10/10??? It’s perfcet!! Max is so great for Lucas and Lucas is so great for max!! I love them!! Would die for both of them <3

- Elumax- 10/10- give it to me now!! They’d be so fucking adorable and just so pure. I’d die for the three of them

- Elmax- 9/10- add Lucas and boom 10/10, I’m a sucker for these two together though and that mall scene remains one of my favorites out of the whole show

- Byclair- 5/10- okay so I see potential but it’s nothing I’m actively thinking about a lot, they’d be cute tho

- Madwheeler- 7/10- id pay money for them to be together in a different universe where they’re snarky sarcastic partners that shit on everyone and love doing it!! Their relationship would make me giggle and I know it. They have actual potential for enemies to lovers but just not canon cause y’know Lucas is <3

- Wheelclair- 8/10- yup I see it and I love it. Nerdy broody boyfriend with jock teasing boyfriend?? Yup. They’d be so smart together don’t even lie, also Lucas teaching Mike how to play basketball is a must. Them skipping hellfire to make out- yup! Mm them <3

- Dustin x Suzie 4/10- okay I like season 4 them as Suzie is a queen but season 3 made me annoyed a bit, like girl shut up about a song when the worlds collapsing

- Henderhop - 6/10- I can see it and they’d be adorable but I wish they had more interactions in the show. Like yes they’d be adorable but I have a hard time picturing it with how little I can think of them that relates to actual scenes

- Lucas x Dustin - 5/10- I see it okay but they just meh for me, like season 1 them yeah but I much prefer max and Lucas

- Dustin x Max- 2/10- I remember rooting for Lucas when watching 2 for the first time and my points still stand, it wouldn’t work out good and I know it. Max is too mature (?that sounds mean but I can’t think of another word) for Dustin and it’d crumble so fast

- Will x Lucas- 5/10- okay yeah I can see it but I think it falls into the category of the not enough screen time together for me to get a good visual of how it would play out

- anything with Billy- 0/10- he’s racist and abusive stop trying to pretend he isn’t

[antepenultimatefantasy]

FFX Playthrough Part 18

Hang on, Sin. We’ve gotta catch butterflies

-Aww yiss. World map. Sidequest heaven.

-So first, I go and collect all of the little treasures hidden in secret areas behind passwords and coordinates

-Then it’s back to Zanarkand to pick up the missing treasure from Tetris land

-With all of the temple treasures collected, we head to the Baaj Temple (fantasy Florida) to beat up ribcage fish

-And meet Seymour’s mom!

-She’s the fayth of Anima, the terrifying aeon of suffering

-Her short story – choosing to become a fayth to give power and confidence to her mixed race son, but ultimately leaving him thirsting for something that he’ll never have – is crazy compelling

-And Anima has such an evocative design

-Anyway, she needs a mom name, so she’ll be Beverly

-We then head to the Calm Lands to pick up everything we need to get the last obtainable aeon, The Magus Sisters!

-Which means kicking Belgemine’s ass for the last time

-Which is really easy with Anima

-God, her summoning animation, where she gets pulled out of hell (?) with a hook in her neck is so badass

-Don’t! Mess! With! Beverly!

-Anyway, Yuna gets the Magus Sisters, who are the three baddest drag queens in all Spira

-They’re sassy, classy (and a little bit assy)

-I’m naming them Jesse, James, and Meowth

-Now that Belgemine’s bloodlust is sated, we send her to the farplane and continue on our merry way

-And get ultimate weapons!

-Honestly, I love/hate this part

-Some are so fun to get (Yuna, Auron, Rikku)

-Some are hell (Tidus, Lulu)

-Because I have all the aeons I already have everything I need for Yuna’s, so check that off the list

-Auron’s requires capturing monsters in a bunch of different places, so I’ll do that concurrently with some others

-The poor fiends in the beginning of the game are just getting truly demolished by my team

-UH

-In a moment of clear karmic retribution, at Mushroom Rock Road the team gets totally eviscerated by Dark Jessie, James, and Meowth

-Note to self: don’t go there ever again

-Okay, getting Rikku’s weapon is so fun

-Love hunting these cute little hot mess cactuar guardians

-Of all of the final fantasy enemies, cactuars have to be among the best

-Ugh, same Chava

-Oh fuck, we accidentally push Elio off the airship when we catch him

-You were too good for this world, sweet prince

-Okay, so after slaughtering all of those cute little Cactuar, and destroying whole ecosystems up and down Spira, we now have Yuna, Rikku, and Auron’s final weapons. 

-Now for the hard ones

-It’s butterfly time for Kimahri!

-Honestly I always remember this minigame being much more miserable than it actually is

-It’s honestly made much better by imagining Kimahri prancing through the forest collecting butterflies

-Okay, 4 down, 3 to go

-Getting Wakka’s ultimate weapon though?

-The worst

-UGH

-So much blitzball! 

-Final Fantasy? More like FIFA Fantasy!

-Am I right?

-Anyway, I have to play like 100 Blitzball games because I drank dumb bitch juice and didn’t space it out throughout the journey

-So I break it up with other ultimate weapon getting

-All that’s left is Tidus and Lulu

-The two hardest ones….

-RIP in peace me

-OMG

-By some pure stroke of luck, I got Tidus’s within like half an hour! 

-The balloon/bird god was smiling down on me

-I’ve only ever gotten it one other time and it took me like three days! 

-Take that, Chocobo jock lady!

-Getting Lulu’s though?

-Dodging that lightning?

-It’s literal hell

-Like I get it in four tries

-But my blood pressure and stress levels are so high throughout the whole thing

-My lizard brain literally thinks I’m being hunted by predators and my heart rate is racing

-I literally think I’m going to have a stroke while dodging the last 10 bolts

-Ugh I’m so glad that’s over

-And then it’s just an endless expanse of Blitzball in front of me

-I’ve recruited like a really good team so I don’t even have to expend effort to win, which in some ways is worse because each game is SO BORING and takes SO LONG

-Fun little hack though, if you hang out in your own goal and all of the opponents are far enough away, no one will come bother you and you can run down the clock 

-Easy!

-Also, after playing 44 games (I counted) the recruitment on all the teams got super wonky

-The original Aurochs now mostly play for Luca? 

-The Guado Glories now have a total of 2 Guado on them (out of 6 players)

-The Al Bhed Psyches recruited a couple of Guado?

-Guess they got over all that *checks notes* genocide

-And finally, when I feel like I’ve forgotten the plot of this game, we have everyone’s weapons!

-Last stop before story time? Omega Ruins

-Basically where a dude 700 years ago hated Yevon so much that he turned into a giant superboss

-Honestly, that’s not such a bad deal

-This cave is filled with real bad baddies

-Including a fake of Omega?

-Who you can just bribe to go away?

-Anway, when it comes time to fight the real Omega, Jessie, James, and Meowth make short work of him

-And it’s all sort of anti-climactic?

-Auron’s just like “Shoo back to the Farplane”

-Then we leave

-Welp, that’s everything I wanted to do before beating the game! (No, I’m not gonna overpower everyone and take on all of the wild stuff that happens at the monster arena)

-Most everyone’s already doing 5-digit+ damage, so I think we’ll be fine

-Back to world saving!

[kpopchangedme]

Saint-Agnès de Roma | Mark Tuan

A scholarship student like you has no business hanging out with the cool, filthy rich, teens of your private Academy... But somehow you still end up playing a naughty game with that one guy…

|| M.List || GOT7 ||

Protagonists: Mark Tuan & You

Word count: 8.2k

Genre: (N)SFW | Seven Minutes in Heaven | Boarding School | Enemies | First Love | **Unholy stuff**Catholic references**Swearing**Suggestive**

Lysandre’ note: FINALLY POSTING A NEW FIC. Trying to see if my shadowban is gone for ever and ever and ever. :’D I’m excited (can’t you tell?) and hope you like this.

Snippet: “You were kind of expecting the Reverend Mother to appear and throw the door open, yelling at you and Mark to get on your knees and recite Hail Mary any seconds now. He smiled, face glowing, illuminated only by the small rays of light coming through the door crack. Mark had a dangerous animalistic smile, one exposing canines and baring far too many teeth, often it made him look spooky.  “Relax.” He commanded, hand climbing slowly on your side as his breathing neared your cheek. “I’m not gonna jump you. You were such a tease earlier. Is this really your first time?””

It was the long weekend of Thanksgiving, which for the rest of the students of the country, meant enjoying great food with their loving families. To the students of Saint-Agnès de Roma however, it was merely an opportunity to leave the dormitory and go wild for four days straight. If Jackson – the youngest son of the Wang family, and occasionally your best friend – was the one telling this story, he’d probably put it that way: Thanksgiving was the Saint-Agnès get-fucked Holiday. For all those ridiculously rich teenagers that long weekend meant; ski trips to the Rocky Mountains, manors deserted of any parental figures, countless parties and even shopping sprees to London or Paris.

You couldn’t care less about all that.

For you, every year, holidays only meant having the girl’s senior dormitory all to yourself. For a few nights only, you wouldn’t be woken up by your roommate’s grinding her teeth, your studies wouldn’t be delayed by some jock disrupting the peace and quiet of the library. Thankfully, they were only a few students that stayed over during the rare weekends of freedom: the ones with family issues so bad they’d rather be here than home, and the ones with an official school punishment.

You were neither; the exception, the scholarship peasant, there merely to make others feel better about themselves.

This year’s get-fucked Holiday however, you had agreed to do something quite unorthodoxy.

Soothing imaginary wrinkles on your skirt, you breathed in slowly to gather courage as you neared the Wang’s mansion. You were beginning to wonder why you accepted to come in the first place. You shouldn’t have given in to your best friend’s plea, him begging didn’t make you special in any way. Jackson had always been extra like that. He was a social butterfly and he was ‘close’ with everyone and their mothers. You guys were polar opposites and there were days where you were convinced Jackson believed himself to be the center of the universe, which was only partially right.

Still, even with his amazing social skills, sometimes it seemed that Jackson couldn’t understand the most basic things about humans in society: Birds of a feather flock together.

No matter how hard he’d try, his friends would never accept you.

It wasn’t true that finally joining one of his little ‘get-togethers’ would suddenly make you fit in with the cool crowd. Besides, it’s not like you even wanted those rich brats to like you. You’d gone through Middle School and most of High School invisible. You could endure what was left of Senior year being known as "that kid”. It wouldn’t kill you and you’d much rather spend your Friday night alone at the dorm, binging the latest tv show on Netflix, than with all of them.

Unfortunately, Jackson would never forgive you if you bailed out now. He freaked out when you tried to refuse his invitation for the hundredth time. He kept insisting tonight was going to be the ‘greatest night of your life’. Unfortunately, if all the invitations to his previous parties were anything to go by, you bet you’d still hear this argument to try to convince you to come to the next one too… And all the ones after that.

Jackson couldn’t stand the idea of people staying on the sidelines, and you knew why. He was just as righteous and idealistic as his father, Mr. Wang – probably the only billionaire in the world who always insisted to be called by his first name.

Ruiju Wang was one of the biggest benefactors of, not only the Middle School of Sacred Heart and its big sister’s Saint-Agnès de Roma Academy but also of the local orphanage. That was the only reason a kid like you got to meet a golden spoon heir like Jackson in the first place. You being a big bookworm and nerd was only coincidental, and Ruiju, seeing your potential, offered to the Sisters of the orphanage to sponsor your studies in the top schools of the area. You had always been thankful, graduating from Saint-Agnès Academy, despite your unfortunate background, guaranteed you’d get into one of the best universities of the world.

Thanks to the Wang’s gigantic fortune – mostly made in the late 70s by grandma Zhou, who Jackson once told you built a highly illegal traffic ring of tobacco and opium in British controlled Hong Kong – you now had a promising future. Perhaps that’s why you hated to disappoint your best friend. A future was a gift most orphans of the world would kill for.

Perhaps that’s also why you made it to his giant wooden front door, Friday of this Thanksgiving Holiday. Your finger hovered for a short second over the doorbell, still hesitating to join the party. But even so, your choice had already been made, you promised Jackson...

Seconds later, you were already following your very excited friend through the maze of corridors. It seemed you were heading to the East living room where you had already been countless times for the Wang’s charity events. It was an isolated part of the house, as opposed to where the rooms of the three living servants – but they called them employees – were. Ruiju and Sophia Wang had left for Australia to visit their eldest son and his family. Jackson opted out, favouring this little get together instead.

“I am sooooo glad you came y/n! You are not going to regret this!”

You could only lie through your teeth, this would be your first party ever and you didn’t belong here at all. If it was anything close to what you heard from rumours at school or seen in 90s teen movies, you’d flee without hesitation.

“TA-DAH!”

Jackson threw the doors of the living room open in front of you, spreading his arms widely. The small group of partygoers inside turned to stare at your entrance, as though you dramatically interrupted the most serious talk ever. He wasn’t kidding when he said it would be a small gathering, there was only around ten people, and you knew all of them from school.

“Wow, isn’t this a sight to behold.” Salome – head of the Senior’s Girl Dormitory, Captain of the Girl’s Lacrosse team and second-best student of Saint-Agnès – giggled, staring at you up and down. She was the devil incarnate and you threw an accusing glare at Jackson, who had conveniently not mentioned her being here. She hated you for always placing first despite lacking the help of expensive private tutors and made sure your life was hellish because of it. “How’d you manage to leave school y/n? I bet your convent strongly opposed.”

“I took the bus.” You answered sarcastically, choosing to ignore her last insinuation. You weren’t a nun, and you took the glass of colourful punch Jackson was already handing you as if to prove it.

You drank the cold alcoholized juice, walking closer to the group. It tasted like what you always imagined a vacation to the Caribbean would; sugary, with too much stuff going on, but overall enjoyable. Tonight would be your first time really drinking alcohol, but you were determined to try to blend in and that clearly meant boozing. A lot.

“I didn’t know public transportation served this neighbourhood,” Salome mused, frowning in disapproval.

It didn’t. You always had to walk 30 minutes after the nearest bus stop to make it to the Wang’s.

“Anyway, I’m glad you could join us.” A dangerous smile stretched her lips and you swear you saw Mark Tuan – descending of a long lineage of Saint Agnès alumnae and infamous serial-dater – squeeze her shoulder to ease her. It looked like these two were on again, his right arm was stretched to enclose her against his chest, as if afraid she’d dare breathe if he’d let go for a second.

“Everyone, this is my best friend y/n, she goes to Saint-Agnès too.” Jackson beamed as you carefully sat at the last empty spot of their circle. In front of you, Salome exchanged a long look with her friend Marissa – a total bitch from a new money family. The others all smiled and nodded, nonchalant at best. You had known most of them for years although you’d never spoken, and you were pretty sure they also already knew who you were. “Be nice, she’ll join our game! Where were we?”

“Katy was about to tell us about the weirdest place she has ever woken up in!” Salome laughed and Katy’s boyfriend Luis – the grandnephew of the Tsar of Bulgaria, or whatever – groaned, embarrassed for her.

“Come on, tell us!” Someone else’s pressed on, impatient. “It can’t be bad enough for you to strip.”

Immediately it clicked, and your gaze widened, staring at the pile of abandoned socks in the middle of the circle. Apparently, even filthy rich teenagers had nothing better to do than playing dumb games at parties. Still, you were glad their attention had left you completely.

Truth or Strip was sort of a legendary game at Saint-Agnès de Roma, and, as far as you knew, it was the first time an outsider was witnessing the closed circle of cool kids playing it for real. Maybe your luck just turned, this was a great behavioural observation opportunity.

“I once woke up in a…” Katy paused for effect and Luis tilted his head, frowning in anticipation. “... Gentlemen’s Club in Miami!”

“Boooo!” Marissa exclaimed as soon as the confession left her mouth. “Who hasn’t?”

You laughed as everyone did, certain 99,9% of the world’s population had never even set foot in that sort of exclusive place.

“BUT,” Katy raised a finger to defend herself, “the night actually started in Los Angeles!”

Impressed clapping followed, and you smiled in your glass as their sick oversharing game moved on. Apparently, you were as invisible here as you were in school, which was a relief, even if you promised Jackson to make friends. Everybody got drunker by the minute and almost an hour later, they were still playing the game.

Jinyoung Park – of Park Films, by far the largest movie production company in Asia – lost his shirt in a very gentlemanly manner, refusing to give away the name of his first conquest. Mark Tuan lost his too, refusing to share the weirdest place where he ever had sex. Chao-Xing – daughter of a Chinese real estate mogul, rumoured to own more than a third of Vancouver – took off her tights to keep the phone number of Justin Bieber her dirty little secret. Hyunwoo Son – of the South Korean ambassador’s family – gave up his (rather outdated) Ralph Lauren’ Polo to avoid spilling the tea on the craziest thing he used his diplomatic immunity for.

Everyone kept losing pieces of clothing except you, and you were starting to feel the dangerous buzz of the alcohol through your veins. So far it was all fun and games, perhaps it really was a great thing you’d come to this party.

Looking at them making fools of themselves felt surreal and oddly satisfying.

Studying these people in their own habitat could be great for your plan of pursuing an Anthropology Major. It made you feel like your very own Jane Goodall in the Kenya jungle, learning how to interact with primates.

“Jackson!” Jaebum Im – rumoured to be the secret love child of a top actress and one of Hyundai’s already married chairmen – slapped a hand on the built shoulder of your close friend, ready to get him to confess some horrible deeds. “Who’s your first love?” There was a collective roll of eyes at the easy question, but it caught your attention. “Truth or Strip!”

“Y/n,” Jackson answered immediately, not embarrassed the least by it and you blushed when everyone looked at you. Your friend was way too honest at this game, he only lost a single sock so far. He bluntly answered almost everything.

“What!?” Marissa – both of them infamously dated for a year during your time at Sacred Heart’ Middle School – sneered, staring dagger at you. “When?”

“My family sent me at least a day per week at her place when we were young, so we got really close.”

“Your parents sent you to... a-an orphanage?” Her mouth dropped, clearly horrified by the idea. “Is that even legal?”

“Yes.” You replied before Jackson could get offended for you, grinning at her unemotionally. “We used to play together every weekend since we were 8 years old.”

“Well well…” Salome, who seemed to have forgotten your existence until then, smiled diabolically. Perhaps she really had forgotten, everyone was pretty drunk by then. After all, the party was already going on a full swing when you joined. “Looks like we haven’t played with you yet… What should we ask y/n?”

“It’s not how the game works.” Youngjae Choi – golden son of one of the teachers, Mrs. Choi, and main soloist of the Saint-Agnès choir – cut in, trying to stop her. Half of an official nerd himself, he was already too familiar with her dirty shenanigans. Lord knows what he was doing here tonight, maybe your common friend forcefully dragged him too. “It’s Jackson’s turn to ask!”

“Fine.” She rolled her eyes, miffed. “But it has to be y/n since she hasn’t played yet.”

“Y/n…” Jackson frowned, seemingly unable to think of a question invasive enough to satisfy the vultures, but still soft as to not make you regret you’d come. “Um…” Also, he already knew everything about you. Growing up in a Catholic orphanage wasn’t exactly the most propitious background for nurturing some dark and wild secret.

“Come on…” Another one sighed.

“Are you still a virgin?” Jaebum asked curious, earning himself a warning glare from the host.

“It’s too obvious she is,” Katy giggled, turning his more innocent question into something displeasing. As though being a virgin was nasty and shameful, you clenched your jaw. “Has she even ever been kissed to begin with?” From the corner of your eyes, you spotted Tuan straightening, probably ready to join in and make fun of you.

“Give me a second, I’ll think of something.” Jackson – your actual first kiss, by the way – ignored them, but you felt your face warm up.

Ultimately, the impending question didn’t matter, because you knew just the way to remain in control of their game, stay ahead and not give them the pleasure of embarrassing you. It’s the only advantage to being picked on often, you learn to understand the rules better than the ones making them. It’s like chess, if you’re always a move ahead, they can never truly get to you.

To survive tonight and fit it, you’d have to channel your inner Jane Goodall; think like a primate; become a primate.  

It was a good thing you were done with your second drink. Already, your mind was numb in the most perfect way, you felt courageous and unbeatable.  You were going to show them – those rich brats – show them you weren’t scared of anything. You could be fun. You could play and act dumb too. You could misbehave just like them.

Just as Jackson was opening his mouth to ask something, you started to pull at your dark t-shirt, riding it up and out of your suede skirt. The room automatically fell silent, everything stood still. The only thing you could hear was the sound of the stereo in the background, playing the dirty pop of the Hit 40. All the other girls only had stripped off their socks, tights or blazers so far, not wanting to take off anything more substantial, but you weren’t like others.

You’d rather expose yourself before they’d try to expose you.

After you threw your t-shirt on the pile of already stripped clothes, you sat there in silence as the boys cooed, highly conscious of your bra and mini skirt. Thank God you were tipsy enough to still act confident. Like another – primate you.

“What the heck?!” Jackson yelped, gaze crazy wide as he looked anywhere else but your exposed skin. “I haven’t asked my question!”

You shrugged, playing cool, “My answer is Strip.” Turning to Salome, you mimicked her earlier smirk. Right now, she looked like she had swallowed something nasty.

See? Virgins can be so much fun.

“Awesome...” Jaebum clicked his tongue, clearly entertained. “Looks like it’s your turn now, brainiac.” The boy’ Lacrosse captain handed you a third colourful drink, eyes dangerously lingering on the curve of your boobs.

By your standards, Im was the most handsome guy at the Academy, not that you’d ever tell anyone. He appeared out of nowhere at Saint-Agnès in 10th grade. According to the rumours, he earned himself this one-way trip by stealing his dad’s favourite sports car and crashing it into the Han River. His father was said to have sent him to Catholic boarding school only because his mother cried and begged for it not to be Military Academy. Jaebum was a ‘no comment’ type of guy, so nobody ever got to the bottom of his story. If it was true, you had to admit his mom horridly failed him. You were pretty sure Saint-Agnès’ Reverend Mother was scarier than any drill inspector could ever dream to be.

Accepting the drink, you blushed for everyone to see. It felt as though Jaebum’s eyes were fire on your neckline, as though it were his fingers and not simply his gaze that was on you. You didn’t feel exposed, you felt seen. Every single guy in the room – except Jackson – had his eyes glued to you and surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be.

“Let’s stop now.” The host gloomily stared away. You knew him enough to be aware he thought he was responsible for letting his schoolmates corrupt you.

“Yes, let’s play another game.” Salome agreed all too eager, having recovered from your little stunt. You smiled widely as you took another big sip of the tropical punch, aware she was fuming.

“The Knot?” Marissa suggested.

“Strip Pong,” Luis replied, running his hand up and down Katy’s thigh.

You rolled your eyes as the ideas kept coming, all games you had no clue how to play and clearly involving losing more clothes and dignity. Mark Tuan snorted at your dramatic gesture, catching your attention.

He was also childhood best friends with Jackson, but you never hung out together after you entered High School. Jackson was the only one who kept publicly addressing you, whereas that jerk played the other kids’ scheme, the invisibility one. Mark offered you one of his legendary lopsided grins as you held his gaze. You quirked a brow in distaste for him to see, a part of you wanted that almighty guy to know he had no effect on you whatsoever. Not anymore anyway, you were way past that naive 11 years old phase where you thought he was kinda cute. Nowadays you weren’t one of his fangirls, dying for him to notice her.

Coming from alumni and rich – you-have-no-idea-how-rich – kind of family, Mark Tuan stood at the very top of Saint-Agnès eligible bachelor hierarchy, the type you bet student’ parents slyly mentioned at family suppers: “Are you friend with the Tuan kid? I hear he’s as beautiful as his mother. She was a Miss Universe in the late 80s.”: “Isn’t the oldest son of the Tuans in your class? He’s old money, they left Mainland China many generations back.” or perhaps even: “He’s worth 20 billion at the very least. Please, do shag him and get knocked up”.

You, however, had no parents shoving you his way. Mark Tuan had been the quiet and hard to get close with type even in Middle School, and of course, it took a Jackson Wang to break down his walls. But he wasn’t the shy kid following you two around anymore. Now Mark had found his own species and returned to the wild. Like all of them, he was all about Gucci tees, yachts, drugs, fun and whatever. You definitely hadn’t seen him at Sunday mass in a while.  

From what you heard, he had become as superficial as these other rich jerks, going through girls as models go through clothes. Curiously, Salome always seemed to find a way to pull him back somehow. Why even bother? These two started dating on and off between Middle and High School and never stopped. The same summer you and Jackson had a fling. Why did Tuan like the she-devil though? Even Jackson didn’t have any clue, nor could justify his friend taste for the dark side.

Filthy rich players like Tuan weren’t a ‘catch’, they were the poison of modern society. They thought they could get away with anything.

“Suck and Blow.” Salome decided on the game Authority herself, unaware her very shirtless boyfriend was still checking you out. And boy was that a sight, even you had to admit it. He might’ve grown up to be a piece of shit, but Mark had become one damn good looking turd.

Once everyone agreed, you all stood and – Thank God – got dressed. You picked up your own t-shirt from the pile to put it on, relieved. Sure, you were confident, but you didn’t want to chill with them half-naked all night either. Done, the party spread in a circle again and, sensing your confusion, Youngjae pulled you by the wrist to his right. He then leaned in to whisper in your ear, not as subtle as he intended to: “We just pass a card around with our mouths without dropping it. It’s about timing, the pair that drops it has to deal with a punishment.”

“Ew, that’s disgusting.” You grimaced and he shrugged, apparently already familiar with the game. You didn’t peg him for the type to come to these parties often, but perhaps you were wrong. Perhaps the choir sweetheart had a secret thing for booze and dirty games… How intriguing, you turned to consider him anew. “Are you good at this?”

“I...” Youngjae hesitated a second too long, doubt shading his features, “am really, really bad.” He confessed like a sin, making you laugh. He was cute in a ‘pure guy’ kind of way, you were familiar through Jackson and often shared a table to study quietly at the library. Youngjae was also in Saint-Agnès’ top 5 and didn’t come from a particularly wealthy family, thereby an ally. Jackson once told you that Youngjae attending the Academy was in his mother’s teaching contract. His financial background made him comfortable and relatable somehow. At least you had someone like him here with you tonight. Jackson was way too busy hosting to notice you didn’t know where to put yourself.

“What’s the punishment?”

“Well, obviously, there’s a risk you’ll… kiss, by accident.” He cleared his throat, accidentally adorable. They were far worse fates than sharing a kiss with him, you decided. “And if you drop the card, the usual pun-”

“Have you never played, y/n?” Tuan, who somehow had appeared to your own right chuckled, amused by how clueless you were. “Cute.” You gulped, staring in his almond eyes, he was about the same height as you now. In your Middle School friendship years, he’d been shorter by many centimetres, never managing to grow fast enough to catch up to you. “Don’t worry.” Mark plucked his lips your way and winked, gaze dropping in your neckline. “I’m good enough at this for us two.” If you were reminiscing of young innocent feelings, his douchebag attitude definitely brought you back down to the present.

Strong of your alcohol confidence, you feigned to look over your shoulder in confusion. “Are you talking to me?” You pressed your chest with both hands like honoured to be blessed by his recognition. “Can you really see me?” Tuan blinked, taken aback and Youngjae snorted to your left. He was always a great public, easygoing and always laughing at your stupid jokes.

“Of course, y/n. Your bra was kinda hard to miss earlier.”

Having recovered, Mark’s rude tongue darted through his parted lips to taunt you and your face warmed treacherously. It had been forever since you two last spoke or stood this close. The way Mark was looking at you now felt unsafe, predaceous. You almost took a step away instinctively, but that wouldn’t have been a very ‘primate y/n’ thing to do so you held back.

“Good girl gone bad... I’m all here for you.”

Instead, at that, you rolled your shoulders and exchanged a glance with Youngjae.

“Well, you must not know a lot of good girls, Mark… We’re the very best at being bad.”

Youngjae immediately coughed and the player’s brows shot up, a new glimmer in his eyes. What the fuck was primate y/n doing, flirting? Why would you ever say something like that? Jesus.

“Well, colour me intrigued.” Mark exhaled before taking a sip of his cup and you stared, trying not to hate yourself for saying shit like that aloud. “Then a good girl like you probably has a few bad tricks to teach me.”

You were about to reply with something – hopefully clever – for him to sod off, when Jackson announced the start of the game, standing on the other side of the circle. Your jaw dropped, realizing it meant you’d play between Youngjae and Mark. You’d sooner eat a live spider than kiss that jerk. Oblivious to your inner turmoil, Jackson winked at you, taking out a credit card from his wallet. (Lord knows where it had been!) Without wasting a second more, he put it on his mouth, sucked air and lowered to Salome to his right, passing her the card.

The game had started. Suck. Blow. Suck. Blow.

Pretty simple and self-explanatory. You tried to concentrate on watching the others play with ease to prepare yourself. If you mastered the technique, there was nothing to be afraid of. Still, you suspected it was a lot harder than it looked though and you peeked at Tuan, nervous. In a matter of seconds, it was your turn and Youngjae lowered himself above you, brows furrowed in concentration. You sucked the card successfully, disgusted at the sensation of wetness on your lips. Dreading the next exchange, you turned to the man to your right, not without a certain sense of responsibility. You were usually good at games and you could own this one too. Tuan’s face drew nearer, and you stilled, trying to make it easier for him. You passed the card without any difficulties. Thank God, you sighed, watching it make its way faster and faster around the circle.

You would get herpes because of this stupid party game. Ew.

You lacked time to dwell on that new disgusting realization before it was your turn again. Clearly, the unspoken rule was to accelerate to make things harder. No one had dropped the card yet. Youngjae chuckled gladly when he successfully passed it to you once more and you tried to ignore the dirty wetness from all the other players this time. This time, Mark wrapped his hand around your neck to stabilize himself when you turned to him. Other players had done it too and it made the exchange easier, so you tried not to think much of it. Like you did earlier, when you felt him suck, you blew to let the card go. Only this time, to your absolute horror…

The card fell.

You barely managed to retreat away from Mark’s plucked lips in a panic to avoid any skin contact. Drunkenly stumbling backwards, you hit Youngjae who held you up with strong hands. The small gathering collectively laughed at the fail and Mark winced, falsely apologetic.

“Gee!” He snapped his fingers like a 30s cartoon character who just made a blunder. You stared, bewildered as he bent to pick up the credit card, tossing it to Jackson under a thunder of woos. Mark lost on purpose. You were almost sure of it. Next, to the awfully serious host, Salome was livid, looking like she was about to murder you on the spot.

“Seven Minutes in Heaven!” Bambam – a 2nd generation heir from Thailand, newly transferred after being successively kicked out of his four previous boarding schools in Asia (and very proud of it) – announced your punishment.

Unfortunately, you knew how to play that game.

“W-What?!” You gasped in dismay, desperately turning to Youngjae for help as Mark shrugged at you, smirking.

Seven Minutes in Heaven?! More like: your own personal Hell.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Salome crossed her arms in front of her petite frame, head about to burst. “She obviously dropped it on purpose!” Your mouth opened in befuddlement. It was the stupidest accusation in the history of mankind. “Mark.” She warned, and the young man shrugged again, unbothered by her dirty glare.

“Rules are rules.” He said with a laugh.

“It’ll be the most boring seven minutes of your life, Mark!” She snapped, lacing venom in her words and the others self-conceited asstwats stifled their laughs.

“Excuse me?” Insulted, you narrowed your eyes at the brunette. Alcohol was apparently making you forget that these rich brats’ opinion of you couldn’t matter less. Boring? Why was she taking her anger out on you? You weren’t the one who failed the game and it’s not like you were trying to seduce her disgusting boyfriend.

“Please y/n, everyone knows you’re frigid.” Spiteful, Salome snickered, but no one found her funny this time. Jaebum even took an instinctive step between you two. Wait… Was she jealous, of you? The thought made you secretly ecstatic. Jeez, she should keep Mark Tuan on a leash if she cared that much. It’s not like he wasn’t running around giving it to anybody in the first place.

“Sally, don’t–” Even he tried to stop her, but she cut him off.

“I mean, isn’t she saving herself to take the veil or something?”

Your jaw clenched at that one last insult. You were aware of your prudish reputation, an overly Catholic childhood tends to stick to anyone, but you hated it. Salome regularly used that to publicly ridicule you. This time was different though, and she was either too drunk or stupid – or both – to realize that. She had just shown you her entire hand.

You smiled, she’d given you leverage, the upper hand, something invaluable you never had before. Now you knew her weakness.

“Jackson?” The summoned boy winced at your call, apparently dying a thousand deaths. It was too late now, you were worked up and he recognized that expression on your face. There was no point trying to stop you. “Where’s the closet?” You asked, as if there was some sort of unholy place specially dedicated to playing that game.

“W-What?” He couldn’t have looked more alarmed

“Tuan and I obviously need a heaven.” You pressed on, rolling your eyes. You should’ve stopped, but you were getting way too defiant.

“We do?” Mark whispered for only you to hear, slight panic now showing.

“Rules are rules.” Primate y/n replied to him sarcastically.

You wouldn’t have played Seven Minutes in Heaven with that asshole just to abide by the rules of this stupid party, but if it made Salome lose her mind... Then it was the only reason you needed to be willing. You’d do almost anything to give her a taste of her own medicine.

Youngjae pulled at your elbow, mouthing a very clear ‘don’t’ as a warning, probably thinking you had a death wish. There was no way she’d let you live when she got back to the dormitory after the Holidays. Too bad for her, the she-devil was already making your life a living Hell. You grinned at Tuan, trying to look convincing. You didn’t see him anymore, he wasn’t that former childhood friend nor the school’s hottest manwhore.

Now he was it, your own personal vendetta.

“A closet?” Jackson breathed out, mind completely blank. You bet if it was anyone else playing, he’d laugh and cheer, turning into his usual overdramatic bubbly self. Right now, he looked nothing but dejected.

“To show Tuan a not-so-boring time.” You enlightened, seriously exasperated. This time everyone else came alive to guide you two. Mark, who followed with heavy feet, clearly had a change of heart, but you didn’t care. He was the one who dropped the card. He didn’t have to do it for laughs, to bluff like that. What an ass.

‘We’re still young and they aren’t all that bad. You need to learn to have fun y/n!’

That’s what Jackson had said to convince you to come. I’m trying, you thought, I’m being; not boring. You bet now he was regretting ever inviting you.

You had to enter a guestroom to find an actual closet and it was empty and surely uncomfortable, like pretty much anything in the Wang’s gigantic mansion. Still, in a daze, you stepped it, followed closely by Mark. As soon as the door closed behind, you heard a chair being dragged to block it.

Now if either of you wanted to make a run for it, you couldn't. Great….

“Why’d you do that for?” You immediately ushered and hit his arm, freaking out at the dramatic shift of atmosphere. Before, you were sure he lost on purpose and he must have had intricate ulterior motives. There was no way one of the biggest playboys of the Academy did that just to earn himself seven minutes in the dark with your nerdy ass.

“Weren’t you begging for this to happen just now?” Mark drew nearer and you backed away until you couldn’t escape anymore. His arms found the wall on each side of your head. That proud asshole didn’t seem half as reluctant at the thought of you now that nobody could see him. This situation felt awfully intimate... Even though Salome was probably counting the seconds until she could open the doors.

“Besides, I haven’t done anything yet.” His whisper made you shiver as his breath fawned over your face.

You exhaled anxiously, staring back at him, oscillating. “Your girlfriend is going to kill me.” Perhaps you shouldn’t have drunk that much. Sure, you told Jackson you would try to fit in, but right now, with Mark, locked in this closet... It felt as though you had succeeded at becoming an entirely different person and you wondered if you’d find yourself back once the door reopened.

Jane Goodall did struggle after she left the primates to their jungle and returned to her own reality.

“Who?” He questioned innocently, “When I’ll date for real I won’t play around.” Mark’s right hand found your hip bone in the semi-darkness, thumb brushing your stomach through the fabric. You stilled, not knowing how to react to that. “Sally’s just a little intense,” he glanced down at your lips, “sorry she’s being hard on you.”

“That’s the understatement of the year.” The last world barely left your throat. From this close, this turd… He smelled kind of nice. Dammit.

“So… Are you really a good girl?” Mark hummed softly, leaning closer, voice deeper than the freaking Pacific ocean. Betraying goosebumps immediately spread on your skin. Right, you closed both eyes in defeat. That was why he made sure to lose the game. He knew it would turn out like this. “I bet it’s true...”

Mark's tongue darted out, catching the light and your eyes dropped on his lips. It was unfair. You weren’t prepared to face that kind of threat tonight. He was getting all predacious again and you were an easy prey. Sure, you hated the guy… When sober, collected, in control of yourself… Apparently, being pressed against a hot torso in the secrecy of a closet can change one’s perspective. You were almost trembling, blood boiling, body turned to stone; trapped.

“That you’re good at being bad.” Mark let out a weird small exhale, almost inaudible, tilting his head to the side.

Oh God, he was going to make this happen.

You had kissed boys before – OK fine, mostly Jackson and only when you were about twelve – but you had never made out in a dark closed space with anyone and surely that was bound to be sinful. Just being this close with Mark was surreal, electrifying, completely wrong. Did all guys smell like that? Jesus.

You were kind of expecting the Reverend Mother to appear and throw the door open, yelling at you and Mark to get on your knees and recite Hail Mary any seconds now.

His thumb pressed that spot on your hip and you inhaled sharply in apprehension, almost a purr. How humiliating, you’d never even made a sound like that. That jerk’s touch was more inhibiting than alcohol. Primate y/n was a traitor. Hopefully, you’d remember not to ever trust her again tomorrow morning, when you’d sobered up. Mark must have heard it because he smiled, face glowing, illuminated by the small rays of light coming through the door crack. He always had a dangerous animalistic smile, one exposing canines and baring far too many teeth, often it made him look spooky.  

“Relax.” He commanded, hand climbing slowly on your side as his erratic breathing neared your cheek. “I’m not gonna jump you. You were such a tease earlier. Is this really your first time?”

Mark wasn’t that much of a talker in Middle School, this new him was the worst. He chuckled silently, unaware of your thoughts and a resolve birthed in your chest at his amusement. You weren’t about to let that guy boast later to the whole school about how inexperienced you were. Especially not to his bitchy non-girlfriend. Strong of determination and anticipation, you put your own hands around his hips, unsure where else they should go. You weren’t going to freak out. You weren’t going to be boring. You might as well go all out if primate you were about to do this to herself.

“No,” you lied, almost convincing your drunk self. “it’s not.”

“I’m gonna kiss you...” Mark announced with his alpha tone, not buying the lie. Although his statement should have sounded awkward, it made you shiver at the suspense. Through the tip of your fingers on his shirt, you felt his heart thump loudly in his chest. Was he nervous? Surely not, you bet he’d kissed a thousand girls in dark closets.

“Well…” You faked confidence again, acutely conscious of how hot he was now– in every possible way… Even if he was a disgusting manwhore. “Is it coming today or...”

Mark was still baring his toothy grin when your noses brushed. You’re the one who met his lips in the middle, surprisingly tilting your head to help.

He tasted of Caribbean punch, a mix between warm nights, fresh fruits and bonfire. It was addictive, not half-bad. Instantly, Mark’s kiss became insistent, his mouth opened against yours, adding pressure and you obeyed, too dazed to do anything or have second thoughts.

He was trapping you against the wall roughly, ravaging you. He had absolutely no mercy and you were pushing back with all your might to survive, hips, lips and hands all over. This wasn’t about the reality outside at all, any thought of the others completely vanished the second Mark slid his hand under your shirt. You let him do it, skin awaken by the touch, discovering a thousand new nerves on your body.

Yes, you had become another y/n.

That was the only explanation. A y/n that makes out in dark rooms with cool kids and grinds into them shamelessly, but just for seven minutes.

Seven extremely messy minutes.

Mark groaned in your mouth, skilled fingers caressing your stomach softly and you curved against him, craving more, possessed. Your skin was buzzing, like screaming, begging to feel him more. His left hand hiked up your body in a hurry, climbing under your t-shirt in your back and you prayed the door wouldn’t shed light on this scene. It would be terribly embarrassing; you were letting him put both of his hands up your shirt. Mark pressed his leg between yours that opened automatically, and your fingers entangled themselves in his hair, almost for support. He never broke the kiss. He too, probably knew better than to waste any second of whatever shared craziness this moment was.

“So good,” Mark grunted, words shaking to escape his throat and you opened your eyes in amazement, “but so bad.”

Shared hysteria. That was what this was.

You both weren’t done though. He adventured his left hand on the fabric of your bra and you froze briefly. Mark must have felt your hesitation because he kept it there. He didn’t push it further nor did he take it away and it felt weird. Like your heart was about to burst through your left breast for him to hold. Sometimes you dreamed of being touched like that, but it was even better than what you imagined, overpowering.  

Even if it was by Mark Tuan, or perhaps even more frighteningly; because it was him. This was all Primate y/n’s doing, anyway, not yours.

The Reverend Mother would’ve had a heart attack if she knew where you were and with whom. Your head was spinning, imagination taking this even further. This deserved at least a thousand Hail Marys, a plethora of Rosaries.

“Fuck,” He whispered in your mouth, the sound like thunder. “Who knew.”

Not you.

You had no idea you were so easy, such a whore. He resumed kissing you as though this was perfectly normal, but perhaps he just couldn’t stop either. You could feel him through his pants, the bad boy wasn’t so unphased by you. This was so new, everything was exhilarating. Mark rocked between your legs, causing your eyes to roll back in your head. You were enjoying every second of this, you were right; Seven Minutes in Heaven with Mark Tuan was your own personal Hell. Whatever this was would haunt you later on for sure. The smell of his skin, the taste of his tongue, the touch of his hand. But you were shameless, you took it all. You didn’t have any second to waste before reality hit. Mark pushed against you again and you pressed closer involuntarily, wondering if he was doing it on purpose.

The direct friction on your tights and panties was going to make you lose your damn mind. You slid one of your own hands under his shirt to feel the abs you spotted earlier during the Strip or Truth game. You ran your nails on his body, and he moaned.

Mark Tuan, actually moaned while making out with you.

You stilled for a heartbeat, unsure if this was supposed to be good or not until he bit your lips, rolling it between his teeth. And you came alive again, because... Jesus. That was unexpected. And Lord, that felt like Heaven. Your hands slid to his back to pull him closer and Mark obliged, fingers caressing the curve of your boobs endlessly, every bit of skin not covered by your bra. In the moment, you wanted to ask him to touch you under the fabric, wanted to know if you would break, but your mouth was too busy being full of him.

As though he heard your thoughts, or unable to refrain from it anymore, Mark’s left hand finally slipped under your bra to touch your breast. He brushed your nipple, causing you to make another embarrassing inhuman sound, something low that he swallowed and kept to himself. Thankfully, Mark only became more eager after that. He used his other hand to press you harder on him through his pants, rolling his hips forward. Your whole body was ablaze, alive in a way it had never been before, and surprisingly Mark seemed as equally taken. His kisses were messy, his breathing on your face heavy as if he was running a marathon. According to your heart rate, you certainly were too.

Mark mumbled unintelligibly, something about his will failing and doing this sooner, as he slipped his free hand to where your thighs met. Before you could process what he said, he touched that forbidden place through your tights and panties, even just like that it felt overwhelming and dangerous. Instantly, you fidgeted and dug your nails in his skin. He hissed and stilled too, but you pulled at him, undecided on what you wanted to do next. Reality was still waiting outside that door.

“Mark…” He seemed to recognized the call for whatever it truly was, and his fingers started to move cautiously on the fabric.

“Shhh, don’t want them to hear, do we?” Mark’s head dropped in the crook of your neck to suck on your skin. Your whole body was humming at his touch, like wanting to be heard, to scream for the world to know.

Right. Reality. You covered your mouth with your hand, flustered. If you were still logical, sober and calm, you’d push him away, ask him to stop, but you didn’t want that. You wanted Mark to keep going, keep that up for an eternity, nothing else mattered. “Mark, this is s-so…”

Summoned, he grunted on your neck pleased you kept calling his name. “Good,” he asked, lips now brushing yours “being bad?”

Reprobate. Wrong. Lewd. Vile. Immoral. His fingers were still rubbing you, and you sighed, clinging to him, unable to say anything else. Perfect. Mind-blowing. Addictive. Perfectly right.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” Hot.

“Me?” Hot. “Have you lost your mind?” You giggled and he joined, complicit.

“Yeah,” Mark’ hands abandoned their dirty deeds to cup your face, pulling you in for a deep kiss, “long ago.”

“When?” Seeing your frown, he grinned way too largely again. He was just about to answer when reality interrupted.  

“ONE MINUTE!” Someone loud – very Bambam-esque – hit the door and you both jerked away, startled.

How many bases did you two run anyway? Suddenly, you wished you knew baseball enough to get the sexy metaphors. Was that only the first base? This felt like way more.

“Fuck,” Mark swore again, exhaling loudly. “Y/n, that was… so hot.” That word again. It was the first time someone used it to describe something about you. Then again, tonight felt like a night full of ‘firsts’. Mark reached for your skirt that had riled up your hips and pulled it downwards, hiding how far your game had gone. The fact that it was his first move gave away how accustomed he was to that kind of heated make-out sessions and you shook your head from side to side, remembering who you were with and why. Right. He was the player of Saint-Agnès de Roma, a manwhore… Surely that was why.

“Did you drop the card on purpose?” You asked hurriedly while he was making sure your t-shirt was back to its original place.

He blinked, staring at you for a long second like you were a dimwit. “Yes.”

“Why?” You were determined to leave this place with a clear answer.

“Well, y/n,” Mark murmured, pressing his lips on yours and running his tongue at the edge of them one last time, “I don’t think I could make myself any more obvious.”

“W-What?”

“TIME’S UP!” Someone yelled – yep, it was Bambam – letting the too cruel light shine on the scene inside the closet.

Thankfully, Mark was standing at a safe distance when the door opened. Still, he must have looked guilty somehow, because Jaebum applauded, impressed.

“Jesus Christ,” Jackson swore – a very rare occurrence – when he saw your ruffled hair and swollen lips.

Another day, you’d feel like hiding away, but, probably because of the rush of oxytocin and all that Caribbean Punch, tonight, primate you just shrugged it off. Your mind was caught up elsewhere, up in the clouds. No wonder that jerk was so popular with girls.

After those Seven Minutes in Heaven, you had learned three new things:

One, Mark Tuan could Jedi trick you into doing absolutely anything.

Two, you could make him lose his mind...

And three…

You sneaked a look his way while getting pulled by Jackson out of the (blessed) closet. Mark was strangely silent, letting his friends tease him without much reaction. He met your gaze and you misstepped, almost falling on the Wang’s luxurious carpet. Jackson caught you in extremis and your clumsiness made Mark snort, struggling to conceal his inhuman grin. There he was, making fun of you again.

And three... Tonight was obviously going to become a regular thing between you two.

And you weren’t the one making the rules.

|| M.List || GOT7 ||

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

athenas or the new ign videos... hmmm

im gonna go for the ign videos (moze gameplay and sanctuary-iii, no guns yet, i have a reason for that) because athenas hasn’t gotten its sweet instagram video yet. once that’s released i’ll do a full post on it. by the time i got around to finishing this post, they had released the video. oh boy... gonna do the gun post then the athenas post, i think. alright, off we go.

tl;dr: we read the entire end user agreement DAHL thrusts upon us for using the ECHO device, talk about some stuff like how (spoilers) it seems like Lilith will be getting her powers back at the end of the game, and a voice line Lily says that sounds like “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like Tannis said: [inaudible] Siren” (altho im not 100% sure on the [inaudible] part because 1) it sounds weird and 2) there’s a drum beat and also the devs are talking over her, the Siren part seems fairly accurate because of the way her mouth moves). so you know. im gonna be agonizing over that until i can hear what she says. ive already spent an hour just repeating it over and over. i nearly fell asleep lol

we’re gonna start with the moze gameplay (the first 14 minutes of bl3) because chronologically it’s first in both timeline and release date

i love the license plates on the right there

also it looks like they added in claptrap’s old welcome sign from windshear waste! time to stand in front of it for 30 minutes to see if any messages pop up like bl2

fast travel station as well, definitely going to see if/where i can teleport and going there immediately. i imagine this is more for DLC stuff and grinding tho.

also! i do believe we saw Covenant Pass previously. good to know this is actually where it is!

Marcus saying “And Welcome to Pandora!” in the beginning confirms that, yes, they’re going to be on a bus!! i wonder if there will be a fight scene before that though. it’s interesting Clappy mentions that “those jerks who tried to murder you are the children of the vault!” so i mean... there’s gotta be... right?

im also convinced this intro is going to be a mirror of Borderlands 1. i stg if it starts out with the first few notes of Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked and then swaps songs I’m going to lose my mind

also also, the order is totally going to mimic the bl1 one. Fl4k = Mordecai, Amara = Lilith, Moze = Roland, Zane = Brick. We even have Lilith taking Angel’s spot as the mysterious voice in our heads, and probably Marcus driving, AND being dropped off at a bus stop.

bet the reason they changed it from ‘Moze as the Bot Jock’ to ‘Moze as the Gunner’ is because it fits under ‘Roland as the Soldier’ better. Also, ‘Zane Flynt as Himselfs’ would be a play off ‘Brick as Himself’. Amara as the Siren is obvious, and ‘Mordecai as the Hunter’ vs ‘Fl4k as the Beastmaster’ is pretty similar as well, given Fl4k has all those Hunter skills.

the 4 basic emotes im guessing. im so glad we have the option to boop our friends in the face with emotes.

also moze’s little bunny skin is adorable

the ECHOnet used to be called “Riftspace”, “the Spline”, and... “MercTel: A Cyber-Dahl Joint” lmfao

specifically calls out Pandora. also, “artificial megastructures”??? THAT’S SO COOL

AND FUCKING

SENTIENT MEGASTRUCTURES???? 

gearbox. please. i have never ever wanted anything more in my life. please. it’s probably my birthday. PLEASE GEARBOX

also interesting that the user agreement specifically notes ‘Respawns’. I assume this is a joke because New-U stations have been confirmed not canon

“Core law”. Core law? Core... daddy? ... ????

core as in like a core government somewhere that’s not the border worlds? that’s interesting...

“The Legion”, okay, acknowledging TPS, that’s dope

“Project Blackrakk” ... im interested

“Thresher Company” lmao

im curious if Axton was apart of any of the mentioned ones. i don’t think it’s been stated, but i could be wrong

“Chieftain Oort”. also ‘Recently Legless Gary’, lmfao poor dude.

oh yeah im sure this is fine. also holy shit did they google the synonyms for ‘change’ and just start listing them? lmfao

“implicit subscription to the Digby Vermouth ‘Dig’s Gigs’ secret concert subscription service” 

sorry, what?

if this doesn’t come up again in the future- if we don’t get a spam letter or 3 in our mailbox about this concert subscription thing i'm gonna be so disappointed

Dahl hates you if you’re not a fan of hyper-jazz, “you snob” lmfao

my brain hurts, they’re good at writing these 

damn phones exist? i thought everything was ECHO. aight, that’s good to know. i guess there just aren’t any phone networks around the border worlds

also “shared dreamspaces” sound really cool

hm. that’s no good lmfao. also i love that the buttons are ‘Agree’ and ‘OK’. there is no escape, once you agree, you can’t even leave because you’re agreeing that you’re trapped with these rules even if you cancel.

that’s fucked up, DAHL. can’t believe you treat your user base the same way you treat your employees. i guess i shouldn’t be surprised.

anyway, shoutout to literally the only TOA I’ve ever fully read in my life.

also, clicking through this TOA too fast WILL end claptrap’s voice line early. so be careful if you want to hear what he has to say!!

oh shit lmao I gotta go edit that Fl4k post

ok im back ~time magic of being able to save things in drafts and post them at a later date~

sliding preserves momentum, so you can actually slide (nearly) the entire way down! i love this.

small, but claptrap bends his antennae when trying to be stealthy. i thought that was a pretty cool detail

“and some guns include an alternate shooting mode~! try it out!”

player: `immediately shoots claptrap in the face`

i died lol

a very nice look at this sign.

good to know that the twins really are tempting people to join with promises of food. i mean it makes sense, i imagine most of the cultists are desperate for stability and a reasonable life on pandora.

also, Shiv calls himself “holy influencer of the children of the vault” lol. i love that. gearbox really is going for the internet’s throat, isn’t it?

i do like that hovering over an NPC will give you their name only and not name/healthbar.

a better look at one of the signs referencing the Mother!!! i was waiting for this, the only real look we got at one was in that one scene with Moze and IB

“Behold the Mother strength surrender to the truth” 

yeah that’s not ominous...

i assume the mother and father are intended to be tyreen and troy? but idk how i feel about that implication...

i like the new little gear/spring effect for the magnet lol

new lilith! i know a lot of people don’t like it, but i do. she looks better than the bl2 vers. altho i think it’s weird they swapped both bl1 and bl2′s ‘AI’ effect to those dots and then didn’t bring it to BL3. the dots effect felt cleaner. curious why they’re not applying it to bl3 when they went thru all that effort in 1 and 2.

... back up please.

i like that there is a changing icon for long pressing now

“time to check out our slay of the day!” sounds like Tyreen but tbh i legit thought this was moze’s reaction to opening the chest at first lol 

you can hear someone start screaming in agony while she’s walking up the stairs, so i know it’s not moze, but im so used to the VHs talking when they see a new piece of loot my brain just assumed.

also THE MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND IS A REMIX OF BANDIT SLAUGHTER!!! IM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS I WAS FREAKING OUT THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT

also, claptrap when dropping health yells “this could save your life! then, you’ll owe me a life debt!” bullshit im pretty sure you already decided we owed you a life debt the moment we stepped off that bus

“i see it... the great vault” - a line from a cultist you kill

i know i mentioned in this post that the Great Vault may be already opened, but it could also just be a Vault they’re planning on opening and using the propaganda to convince the cultists to help them find it. 

“if you help us get this vault open, you’ll be handsomely rewarded! you’ll get superpowers! you’ll get regular meals! you’ll get money and guns and dates!” you know, the usual stuff. 

either way, elevating the Vault to a higher state (god/heaven/whatever) makes sense if you’re running a cult.

btw there is a hidden chest in the scaffolding to the left of the door, if you’re interested in grabbing some better guns before shiv. personally, i’ll be using the toy guns.

also the TVs are actually playing propaganda now!!

this one is asking questions that i cant understand due to the sound effects of the chest and claptrap talking, but it says something about “... the dust? ... join the Children of the Vault!”

“hey shiiiiiv all your dumb friends are dead!!”

shiv be like

“all my friends are dead”

some cool level-up art! I notice these are the same pictures as used on the japanese site. i wonder if they change depending on which VH you���ve picked (If you’re playing Amara/Fl4k, do you get pics of Amara and Fl4k? the player is playing moze, afterall).

also also “it’s a KIA on the knife wielding maniac. suuuper dead.” 

it’s cool that the VHs have specific lines for the deaths of bosses. i hope that continues and it’s not just a ‘15 min of intro gameplay’ thing. you know, where everything is super detailed in the beginning and then slowly gets less and less as the game progresses? anyway, moze’s little chuckle is fuckin adorable lol

ah. the door closes now so you can’t even explore Shiv’s room before Lilith shows up. gearbox plS you know me too well, i was looking for a g l i m p s e

claptrap’s voice line for getting released is SUPER off time, he hits the ground before going “you did it! i’m sa-ahhhhhhhh!” it’s weird, wondering if that’s just a glitch.

also also we get a nice listen to the revive ally sound. i could’ve sworn it wasn’t in the first look at this mission we got, because i heard it for the first time during the coop Zane/Amara gameplay on Promethea. i might be wrong, tho.

im very curious what these symbols are claptrap is beaming up

i mean you know what im gonna say

they look eridian

and they do

so wtf clappy why u beaming up eridian letters to Lilith

i assume maybe Tannis gave clappy some weird upgrade or something so he could communicate with the crimson raiders without the CoV listening in? it could be that Tannis or someone is decoding this message since Tannis does know how to translate Eridian (as shown in her bl1 ECHOs)

... or at the very least she gave Lilith a translator

the darkening makes it so that you can see the crackening. also this COULD just be a beam that lilith can see from wherever she is, but i want to believe there’s more eridian stuff. bc eridian stuff is fun.

this is so fu cking crisp im dying i love it

lilith’s tattoos spreading down her fingers

same symbol as her chest tattoo. maybe the symbol denotes new powers? like how lily has one on her chest for phasewalking, and a new one on her hand for teleportation

i love how her wings look like actual fire. i fucking love this

lilith is looking so fucking good in the new engine

im glad they got rid of her super red eyes, tbh it looked a bit weird

i think they are really pushing her fire affinity, im sure we’ll see Maya has an elemental affinity as well (im calling corrosive) and im sure Tyreen will too (slag). Amara looks to be Shock because that’s her ‘default’, but who knows until (if) bl4 comes out. but corrosive wings on maya would look SOOO fucking cool. please. please please please.

god she looks so good compared to bl2. i love how the tattoos softly glow in the dark, too. i gotta play this mission late in the day...

“you’re... the voice in my head, right?” i love this so much, i really hope my shitpost comes true.

lilith gives you a grenade mod for completing her mission! im really glad they are PUSHING through the tutorial/intro so you can get right into the game. bl2′s ‘intro’ of all these tutorials was brutal. especially waiting to unlock your action skill.

in 3 you get your action skill automatically at level 2!!! which is insane, i love it! they’re jumping right into it, it’s great. and they seem to be pushing for you to get all the stuff you need right away. 

it’s curious to note that in bl3 we get our class mods at the end of the Promethea demo (after Gigamind), since in bl2 you get your first (usually?) after the hunting the firehawk mission and both seem to take place immediately after we get to the ‘base of operations’ of the game (Sanctuary vs Sanctuary-III).

yep that quest is 100% in line with the quest marker. 

i imagine From the Ground Up may be discovering where the Vault Map/Key actually is? maybe bringing people to the Recruitment Center (notably Tannis)

for this scene. i hope this takes place after the HBC, because i seriously... can’t imagine the twins showing up, taking the Vault Map, bringing it to the HBC, and then NOT taking Lilith’s powers/trying to kill Lily and accidentally taking her powers. it just doesn’t make sense, Vault Hunters be damned, we are level 2 they could melt us easy peasy. 

If anything, it feels like we COULD find the Vault Map in the Recruitment Center, Tannis tries to activate it/fix it, we find out it’s mega broke, and then the Sun Smashers show up and take it. but i seriously can’t imagine Lilith nor the new VHs allowing that to happen while they’re still there. maybe if Tannis sends us to do something while Lilith is gathering other CR members? then it could make sense if they attack while Tannis is alone with the Key...

OR

we end up finding something in Shiv’s room that shows/helps us realize the Sun Smashers bringing the Vault Map to the Calypsos. tho this would mean the quest From the Ground Up is SUPER short and I imagine it’s not. Maybe we raid a camp of theirs like the one in front of Sanc-III with the bridge/ramp? We need to be about level 6 before we go and we start From the Ground Up at 2 so there’s obviously something DEEP we’re missing here. maybe this is a mission where we go gather the other Crimson Raiders? HMMMMMMMM...

.... oh.

nevermind lmfao

she opens her ECHO immediately after this LOL i feel kinda dumb now

raiding their camp it is! the Droughts sounds like a fun location. Very much like the dust. you guys think there’s a Shade situation going on there? i’m excited to see it. Still think we’re going to use Shiv’s room to get that lead, though. i just really wanna watch tv lmfao. i hope this means the bandits run from the camp to the HBC, or we find info that the bandit warchief sent a party to the HBC with the Vault Map. either way, i just don’t want the twins showing up until after the HBC or i will have so many questions. “why didn’t you kill lilith?” being the first. “the god queen wants her head!” ur goddamn right she does, so why doesn’t she (try to) kill lilith???

85% already?! hot damn

also

that’s one badass description there, Moze

also also

while having gun slots locked is pretty normal, im surprised they’re locking class mods and relics, too! i wonder when we’ll be able to equip relics. maybe when we first go to eden-6 or smth. or maybe after we meet up with Rhys. shit maybe he’s just handing us an artifact (im gonna interchange these a lot, sorry!) in that Promethea video lmfao

“ready to chuck some boom and frag some maniacs” lol moze i love you

if you’re playing Zane... `equips grenade mod for checkmark` `immediately equips second action skill and never actually uses grenade mod`

“it’s the firehawk! the god queen wants her head!” 

like i alluded to before, i would not be surprised if Tyreen doesn’t know she can absorb Siren powers... when she goes to succ lilith in front of Sanctuary-III, it’s totally possible she actually was trying to kill her. That could explain why she looks so intrigued at her hand like “oh shit okay lets see what this can do”

might be why she was okay with sending her cultists after her instead of showing up herself.

“alright, we got a foothold. maybe things are turning our way. come on killer, you’re with me” we are going to explore the SHIT out of shiv’s room.

alright alright alright

let’s move on to the Sanctuary-III stuff

yessss

i love the quest objective thing, it looks like we will be able to swap through our quests with the push of a button! also im curious why exactly we’re going to promethea right away. i wonder if the twins say something about moving there after getting the vault map/lilith’s powers, or if we hear from rhys. im expecting something about the vault map, since our vh will admit they don’t know rhys at all when talking to lorelei. but for some reason we need to be within the city limits? since lily says ellie got us within the city limits. 

hmmmmmm. okay, okay, maybe the map was trying to lead us to promethea for vault reasons during that short amount of time that we had it and it was working. maybe promethea is what we see when tannis is activating the key during that one cutscene? ohhh shit how dope would it be if we got that fucking easter egg message? omg “Children of the Vault. Come to Promethea. We are not on Pandora anymore. Tannis is not what she seems. Do not open the Vaults.” and everyone is like ‘uh did that thing just mention Tannis by name??’ and now it’s REALLY important to get the map back just so we can figure out wtf it’s trying to tell us. 

i will question how ‘Tannis is not what she seems’ would affect character relationships, especially if it’s said so early in the game. so perhaps we only hear the first part of the message. maybe it’s corrupted because it was recently broken. iunno. just playing around with ideas. the canon of this game is like flarp putty until sept. 13th

anyway moving on because this is literally the first f r a m e of the video

i like that you can see pandora’s eridian scar. if the destroyer is speaking through eridium to people, it’s gonna bust outta the side of this planet like you wouldn’t fucking believe lmao. eridium is a window to the soul and if you stare long enough into its glossy, shining sides, the destroyer stares back

that or it’s just like a beacon, slowly spreading its influence across the universe. but i like the idea that the destroyer can waltz out of a big enough hunk of eridium. so it will bust out of pandora’s eridium scar. F in chat for pandora but also lmfao the amount of tentacles and rage would be unparalleled.

reality is that the twins are probably farming this scar for eridium to turn into slag for multiple purposes. like brainwashing their cultists, giving them powers, and ensuring their guns have their manufacturer’s quirk (im getting to this in my next post bc im just gonna compile all the ign gun videos into one big post)

the floor art is different from the actual sanc-iii demo. i mention this first in my behind closed doors panel analysis, but im gonna mention it again because this is ~official~. the floor list on the first walkthru of sanc-iii we got had the names of all the crimson raiders and lines leading to their shops. so we had the infirmary/tannis, marcus, moxxi, etc listed on the floor. i imagine this new sanc-iii will change as we get more people on board or if we do a sort of re-decoration of the ship.

also also, it’s cool to see that we have 4 rooms on the minimap, likely one for each of the VHs (and your coop buddies). ive seen speculation that the other, non-played VHs will hang out in their rooms when you’re not playing them, and tbh i really hope this is the case.

we also know this version of sanctuary-iii is after pandora, so there are no promethea citizens aboard yet. which makes me double certain the first sanc-iii video we got takes place either after endgame (explaining why Lily has her tattoos back) or right after Athenas (explaining why Maya is there). which... i mean... spoilers, guys. 

that’s one good lookin fast travel station, holy shit

im in tears over here because “Caution: no steppy”. this is so fucking funny to me

no steppy on me

okay moving on because i will cry laugh over this for forever im allowed

moze’s room is so much different than amara’s

also i notice she’s on the left of the two on the top, which makes me hope the other 4 are reserved for the other VHs (or your coop buddy).

compared to the official sanc-iii demo video

and amara’s room

moze’s is so barren oh my god

someone get this girl like... a colorful throw pillow or something

baaank. also doubles as the secret stash. kinda upsetting, because that is infinitely less loot i can store when i make a lot of characters. also if i upgrade the bank once, is it upgraded across all my other characters too? or are the guns i put in storage slot 11 locked up until i buy the upgrade?

either way, i am saddened because no more mule characters. and way less space the more characters you make and more gear you find, because all gear you put in here is there across all characters. i hope this means our backpacks will be a lot bigger this time around!

supamax mfg shows up again

ppm/04-02 matches up with the number behind the fast travel station. i wonder if this will come into play. if the number changes later in-game im going to freak the fuck out bc that means wherever we are isn’t actually sanctuary-iii

ppm/04-02. remember that 👀

also, the wall behind the golden chest changed from red to steel/greenish. can’t tell the actual color. same as the floor

you know. that color.

“golden keys are popular. you can get some in-game and also get them online”

in-game you say??? im interested! i wonder if there will be some sort of arena (like moxxi’s) where if you complete it you get a key as a reward. i saw people speculating about some sort of randomized boss rush, that could definitely be a way to get gold keys, as well.

oooo engine room! im excited to explore here.

original size is 16. so, we have 40 backpack slots! still... you know... only 1 above the max of bl2, but hey. at least that’s an upgrade. as small as it may be

on the bright side: bank upgrades increase capacity by 5. with a base of 10, and 8 upgrades, we have 50 slots to fill. which is a big leap from the original 24. it is still a shame we have to share these across characters, tho

offline cultist stream? makes me think the CoV really was trying to steal/take over sanc-iii from the crimson raiders and we went to go take it (back?) in Taking Flight. either the CoV found/ordered Sanc-III, or the crimson raiders were building it/fixing it up, their stronghold got taken over, and the CoV were prepping it for takeover.

the shooting range. and if you notice that little CoV symbol in the bottom left there? yeah pretty much backs up my previous theory

all those red bits are tied to ellie’s crew challenge. so we’ll be collecting things for her!

an altar for scooter 😢

“we’re gonna get those cultism sumbitches, believe you me”

where you get yeeted out of Sanc-III. im definitely going to try jumping in it to see if it kills me. doesn’t look like the drop pods are available yet

that’s not clappy, pretty sure he’s hanging out on the bridge right now

schematics for veronica

the thing i was most excited about in this video!

loooots of customizations! which excites me because i know eridium used to get useless late game when you’ve grinded all the raid bosses. it looks like eridum is going to be in ultra high demand. but u can bet ur ass im gonna be unlocking all those fucking customizations asap.

veteran rewards is also super super interesting

hgggggg i wanna know what the shields do!!! 

i like the vault symbol at the top of the item card as well, shows you its a special type of weapon/item. im honestly surprised we’re able to buy ‘veteran rewards’ so early in the game? i mean obvi we won’t have enough eridium (look at the costs!) but it’s wild it’s even accessible. im personally a fan of the first bonus ‘anointed: gain life steal on action skill end’

looks like these guns have been chosen

to give them those special bonuses

i do see that just anointed is not class specific, but the ones that say anointed gunner or maybe anointed siren will be (confirmed by the devs in video).

you pay with eridium, so maybe the vending machine has some way to confer the power of eridium to the guns. or some shit. iunno. it’s possible this won’t be available until the end of the game, hence veteran rewards, and is only being shown to us right now since this is a showcasing video.

pandoran civilian. no promethea civilians today folks! i am CONVINCED that the old sanc-iii demo takes place after the end of the game. at least after athenas.

it’s weird seeing moxxi hanging outside her bar.

is also cool to know that the 4 slot machines are actually available. seems like npcs can play them, but we can use all 4 if we want to. which is really nice

the one on the far left is called the ‘loot boxxer’ and it gives mostly guns lol. i see they are taking jabs. good for them

better pic of the leftmost machines

Zer0 seems to have a bounty board? not sure if this is like a physical bounty board or if they will contact you when they want something dead, but it is cool to note. this isn’t shown in video, just the devs speaking about it.

similarly hammerlock has ‘big game hunts’ where you find “rare, challenging creatures” and kill them for him

apparently we’ll be killing something known as a manvark

this book

i fucking recognize this book

HAMMERLOCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

in all seriousness tho

hammerlock probably isn’t in his room because we haven’t rescued him from eden-6 yet.

a cool thing about the crew challenges: as you progress through the game and do these challenges, sanc-iii will ‘grow and change to reflect the things you’ve accomplished’. altho another dev says “sometimes these are optional things, like challenges” 

so now im like oh shit we’re gonna change sanc-iii as we play the game. i wonder if that means we’ll be changing the hull, too. because you know. the blue paint job. we gotta go STEALTH. sneaky beaky into the calypsos fleety

tannis doesn’t have the saurian on her table. also, interesting note, she DOES have the eridian log in the corner. meaning she must have had that before eden-6. interesting... maybe we’ll find more on Pandora.

she is still covered in blood tho. idk i don’t have an explanation for that. don’t think i want to think of one, to be quite honest.

oh no. (those are skulls next to all the gurneys)

“tannis plays a much bigger role in bl3 than she has in past games”. bigger than borderlands 1? that is... impressive. she’ll be running the health vending machines (which is weird bc i could’ve sworn in the promethea demo, zed was still running them... hm.)

another angle of sanc-iii

clappy? you good there?

the devs said they’re using him to plug a hole. i assume the calypsos shot at the ship as we’re leaving or smth.

lily with no tattoos, who also looks significantly more pissed than her other sanc-iii demo counterpart

you know. because she got her tattoos.

also

fucking

lilith says something right here. all i can make out is “Tyreen took my powers. it’s like tannis said. ..... [inaudible] Siren.” maybe some weird word i haven’t heard before? i swear she’s saying ‘like tannis said: a ‘m...’ Siren” but i am not 100% sure. if someone could help me out, that’d be rad.

so its sounding like lilith rushed in with explicit warning from tannis about tyreen stealing her powers, and tannis knew tyreen was some sort of Siren and warned lily, but lily didn’t listen. it could also be that lily is saying something like “im not a siren” but i can’t really hear it if she is. it sounds like she saying a word that starts with m to me. if someone could help me with this i’d owe you my life

whew. i am. fucking TIRED.

im gonna sleep for like 3 hours and then wake up and make food before the fl4k streams start.

[deseretgear]

Battle Tendency Part II

so i actually finished battle tendency and have started Stardust Crusaders lol but let me run through my reactions to battle tendency first of all my man speedwagon is alive and captured by nazis, but the important part is he’s ALIVE

I had no idea what to expect honestly

i did laugh a lot at joseph’s shenagins. He is a clown. a moron. he has 2 braincells and he uses both of them to be as dramatic as possible

Anyway the nazis are basically like, sure lets resurrect these vampires nothing bad could OH NO HIS BODY IS MADE OF WET SPAGHETTI NO

“Look at your body, now back at mine--whooop nope its into the ventilation ducts”

Joseph why are you like this

I was cackling every single fight he had with the vampires bless this idiot stupid muscle man

Who would win? a million year old superhuman immortal vampire who can kill you by touching you or a dumb jock with sparkly fingers the answer may SHOCK you

ALSO! I LOVE CESAR! CEASER? HE IS A GOOD BOY and a bit of a prick

BUBBLE POWERRRR

I can just imagine Zepelli and Jonathan looking down from heaven at these overdramatic womanizing punks their grandsons turned out to be and being just like

I did not understand a thing about the Hamon dove inside the lady’s mouth. what.

MORE VAMPIRES AND THEY’RE EVEN BIGGER and BETTER

Their butts are the only part of their body that’s flat that’s for sure

These guys are Wammo, Ac/Dc and Cars 2

Cesar’s dad who was a dick but for Good Guy Secret Life reasons also apparently died in cesar’s backstory...too bad for him i guess

Joseph saves the day once again by being a coward and a clown

Fortunately wammo thinks that’s super hot manly and warrior-like or something and asks jo to marry him be his rival so they can battle to the death

Ac/Dc gets on this train and now Jojo has 2 boyfriends rivals

Cars 2 is the only one withought the mentality of a classic disney princess and that’s how you know he’s the Big Bad

look at him he’s the pointiest one...EVIL

Then we get to meet!!!

her

she instantly does the sensible thing and gags Joseph unfortunatley this does not really keep him from mouthing off but A+ for effort Lisa Lisa

also i love the crazy colors and dramatic patterns of some of these moments

Joseph: you can’t drop me down a giant hole I’ll die Lisa Lisa:

anyway joseph doesn’t die he gets out of the hole with his new best pal cesar and then they get beat up by these two guys

and then by the vampires...AGAIN

AC/DC loses an arm and flips out which made me have to pause a bit just to take it in.

its okay, he just had to cry it out. its fine. He stole jojos buff mentor’s arm instead (one of the guys who beat him up before).

Also he has toenail lids to make his evil...blood veins shoot out? that was...okay that was a thing

But don’t worry guys Joseph killed him his body is Kapush

me: me: me: JOSEPH YOU DUMBASS HOW CAN YOU NOT FEEL THA

also since this adorable sassy little maid hadn’t had much screentime before and was suddenly being cute and flirty and backsassing joseph i KNEW something bad would happen to her and I was SO MAD

plot twist SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS

BUT SHE DOESN’T DIE I was honestly very glad joseph didn’t go the “Oh man I have to kill this woman i’m kinda falling for boy that sucks :/” route. Susie Q LIVES

She joins Speedwagon in the Good Sunshine Group Of Folks I thought Would Die But Survived Take That Narrative Drama Hahaha

Then Joseph Wears A Ridiculous Outfit Again where Does He Buy This Stuff

Oh that Nazi guy’s alive i almost forgot about him he’s a Cyborg now

I should be more excited but eh Nazi. not super into this teamup lmao

More to come!

[ibelieveinahappilyeverafter]

Just You And Me - Phic Phight 02

Event: Phic Phight 2019 Team: Team Ghost

Title: Just You And Me  

Prompt Giver:  Ave-aria on tumblr

Prompt Chosen: One side effect of fighting spooks in your spare time? It makes for a lot of good stories to tell around the campfire. While away at camp, Danny, Sam, Tucker, and Jazz get the chance to share some of their best and creepiest firsthand Ghost Stories, with their classmates none the wiser. *Can also be set Post Phantom Planet if desired.

Rating: T Content Warnings: Mentions of past character death (ghost). Status: Complete Final Word Count:1,028

Author’s Comments: Written alongside Kasena/Cheshire-Kas!

Summary: What’s better than real ghost stories around the campfire? Well, it’s a lot more fun when the ghosts actually show up.

              Click here to read the work on Archive Of Our Own.

                           ⍣ I have a Patreon! Support me?⍣                         ☪ I have a tip jar! Buy me a coffee?☪

                                                     ::

They had gotten the campfire going, and now it seemed like everyone was looking around, waiting for something. It was Dash that finally spoke, “So. Who’s got some good ghost stories?”

“Ghost stories?” Danny felt the grin growing on his face as he realized this stupid camping trip he had been forced to go on might end up being more fun than he thought. “Depends on how scared you’re willing to get.”

“Jeez, Fenton, we want something actually scary. What are you gonna tell us about? The little ghost kitten that went ‘meow?’”

“If that’s the only story you think you can handle, Dash, sure,” Sam cut in sweetly. “Just leave it, Danny. Pretty obvious they can’t handle stories like we’re used to telling.”

Kwan leaned forward. “What kind of story would you guys tell?”

Danny looked at their classmates and shrugged. “Just the story about Amber.”

“Amber?” Star frowned, huddled in a jacket and already looking wary. “Amber who?”

“You haven’t heard about Wailing Amber?”

Sam and Tucker looked at him and they all grinned as they leaned forward. “Amber was just another girl. A teenager, she wanted to be a total popstar.”

“She was sixteen when she died, and that was probably about ten years ago.”

Dash shook his head, interrupting almost immediately, “You’re really just gonna start off with ‘oh, here’s this girl who died ten years ago.’ Weak, Fenton. Weak.”

“Well, hang on. Gotta build up to it, first,” he told Dash with a grin. “Amber went to a high school pretty close by. She loved writing songs, and so she had sheet music and a whole bunch of lyrics and stuff around her bedroom, right?”

“It was total music heaven,” Sam laughed. “She loved the guitar, the most, and she was actually really good at it. She could even play a few other instruments, but the guitar was the best for her, and she knew that she and her guitar were going to be famous.”

“Amber, you know, she was a teenager, right? She had a crush on a guy at school. His name was Adam, he was like the Dash Baxter of their school.”

“Aw, yeah, sounds awesome!”

“Dude was totally not awesome.”

“Aw, what? You said he was like me!” Dash whined, a few of the other A Listers snickering or hiding behind coughs. “How bad could the dude be?”

“She asked him out, and he said yes,” Danny said. “He told her to meet him… In the forest right around here. At midnight. You know what she thought was gonna happen. So she came out here to the forest, and she waited.”

Sam picked up the story. “She got there at about eleven-thirty. She didn’t have a watch, or a phone, so she never knew what time it was. Midnight came and passed, and he never showed.”

“She kept waiting,” Tucker said. “She waited until one. Until two. When she finally got home, it was like four in the morning.”

“Jeez, what a douchebag,” Kawn grumbled, crossing his arms as he looked around. “And she was alone throughout all of this? Until that late?”

“Yeah, they basically thought Amber was like one of the losers.”

“Amber went back home and basically passed out in her bed.”

“While she was sleeping, her house caught on fire. Remember all that music and those papers? They lit up. She stayed up so late, she didn’t even wake up. She didn’t make it.”

“They say that if you’re out here, late at night, you can hear her practicing one of her songs while she waits for him to come meet her.”

Paulina gave a huff, crossing her legs, “Please, there’s no way any part of that is…” Paulina trailed off due to the fact that a gentle guitar song was filtering through the trees. “Oh, very funny, Fenton. You can stop whatever you’re playing on your phone, now.”

Danny pulled up his phone. “My phone’s been off this whole time. Sam? Tuck?” Both of them pulled out their own phones, Tucker even turning his on to show that nothing was playing.

“Then one of you guys need to stop it,” Paulina snapped, everyone else quickly pulling out their phones to show they were either off or not playing anything. The guitar was getting louder, too.

“What if we could be… Just us, you and me?”

“Uh, guys?”

“Oh, no way, no way, no way, no way, I refuse to be the dumb jock in the horror movie! Fenton! This was your stupid story do something!”

Just before anyone could do anything, there was a rustling in the bushes near them, and a translucent girl with a glow about her came forward. She looked like any other teenage girl, except obviously ghostly. “You finally came.”

Danny watched with absolute glee as every kid there except him and his friends screeched and then took off running into the woods. It was impossible to hold in his laughter as the ghostly girl’s form flickered before Ember was floating in front of them and looking amused, “Man, babypop, you’re more sadistic than I thought.”

“That’s not sadistic,” Danny defended. “That? That was payback!” Tucker was still laughing, Sam shaking her head with a happy sigh.

“I hope Paulina breaks a heel before they get back to camp.”

Danny stood and looked at Ember. “You alright?”

“Aw, worried about me?” Ember laughed, flying over to ruffle Danny’s hair. “No worries, Danny, I’m fine. Besides, did you see the looks on their faces? Johnny and Kitty are gonna be jealous missing out on this.”

“And hey, that sounded like a cool song,” Tucker pointed out. “You just start writing it?”

Ember blinked, looking surprised before giving a rare, softer smile, “Thanks for the compliment, but that was actually an old one of mine. Thought I might play around with it again.”

“Thanks for the help, Ember. Those jerks totally deserved it.

“Of course! And hey, you know, if you ever told a story about two lovesick teenagers who died on a motorcycle… And then a ghostly motorcycle just happened to run through you all…”

“We’ll save it for next time.”

[utopianvoices]

seven things | h.hyunjin

↭ genre: enemies to lovers au (kinda); fluff

↭ word count: 4.27k (i might’ve gone slightly crazy)

↭ a/n: yEs i is back!!!! here’s a hyunjin scenario that i don’t really like to make up for my disappearance from posting works :D i’m writing this on a whim so it might seem like i’m on crack but really it’s just me on a daily basis,, also this turned out way longer than i expected whoOps

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

ok so

you were waiting outside the cafe that you and hyunjin usually go to

and y’all might be wondering 

why don’t you just go in??

that’s what i’m wondering too

well because

your best friend was late,,, for the 3rd time that week

and to say you were pissed was an understatement

just as you whipped your phone out to message that not so little nuisance, you heard rushed footsteps getting closer and closer

and you turn just in time to get aTTACKEd by this boy

“i’m SO sorry y/n i overslept and like i really tried to come on time but then the bus was late too and-”

“just stfu and never talk to me again”

well then

“noOOoOo y/n don’t say that i’m so sorry. i promise i’ll try my best not to be late from now onwards :(”

and like you really wanted to be mad at him

really

but he was pouting and your heart was going boom boom

because he just looked really adorable

so you just ended up going “ugh fine”

which was the cOmplete opposite of this whole speech you had planned in your head

about how you were going to stop being friends with him and move to another continent,,,,,,,,,,

yea maybe that wasn’t such a good speech

but you weren’t going to let him go that easily too

so, you being the absolute tease 

“you know i think it was better when we hated each other”

oUCh

and hyunjin being the drama king he is

decides to go overboard and clutches his chest, staggering around the entrance of the cafe

you just roll your eyes and walk into the cafe,,, ignoring the poor boy outside

as you scan the cafe for seats, you feel a weight on your shoulder

“you know the feeling of hate was never mutual”

and you look up to look at the party responsible for this new burden

and well let’s just say you were about to combust on the spot

because your best friend was one good looking boy

and like all this violent rush of thoughts took you back to when the only “feelings” you had for him was hate

*cue flashback* i suck at transitions im sOrry

so you were just chilling in class,,, minding your own business as you doodle on your book

when the school’s most popular girl decides to spill her salad juice or whatever disgusting green thing she was drinking, all over your papers 

and i mean, accidents happen ofc and you’re TOTALLY willing to let it go

if she had apologised

IF

but she was clearly too popular for petty things like apOlogies 

so you just open your mouth to fire at her when she cuts you right off

“that was my only juice, but i’ll forgive you since i’m so kind”

and you just stare at her like she grew 3 heads bcs

how is one so dUMb

“oH that was juice??? i thought you were drinking vomit, you know since it kinda matches up with your personality?”

oH no one messes with you

and you were trying really hard to hold your laughter in, because you were the sAss master and no one stood a chance against you

but she just whined like a little girl, with no proper comeback to match up to yours

“hyunjin baby!!! aren’t you going to say anything?!”

and you just realised the being standing behind her,,,, hwang hyunjin

soccer team’s star player/captain and pretty much the most popular boy

half the school was drooling whenever he passed by

and i mean,,, it’s not like the girls didn’t have good taste or anything of that sort

because this boy was sculpted by the gOds,,,, and you would be lying if you didn’t let yourself glance at him a little longer than needed when passing by

but like all cliche stories, the most popular girl and the most popular boy were dating

i mean,,, cmOn it’s a given

till this day you were still wondering how in heavens they ended up together,,, one’s a plain bitch and the other,,, well, not so much of an asshole

but all thoughts of him potentially being nice unlike his girlfriend flew out of the window in like a millisecond 

“hey y/n maybe you shouldn’t have left your bag to block the aisles”

bij say whAT

first of all,,, your bag was tucked close to your table, bcs you were a responsible student who cared for the well-being of other students,,, most of the time

second of all,,, how did he know your name?? 

you were pretty sure you never mentioned it

but as these thoughts were running through your head, rendering you silent,,, the bij thought she had “won” and took hyunjin’s hand with a smug face, walking off 

and you were too busy caught up in your own thoughts to notice the apologetic look hyunjin was desperately trying to get across to you,,,, 

but you knew one thing for sure after that small incident

you hated hwang hyunjin

call yourself a niggling bij but that’s just you,,, you gotta deal with what you gotta deal

so since that day, every time you glanced at hyunjin, your glance turned into a glare and you made sure he caught that “glance” before you broke eye contact and stormed off

your petty-meter was seriously off charts,,,,,

and it pains you to admit it but mAyhaps the reason you were so pissed was because you had this teeeeeeeeeny tiny crush on him, just like the rest of the girls in the school

because although he was a jock and dating that evil witch, he seemed nice to enough to smile at anyone who made eye contact with him and like,,,, basically for being the opposite of being a generic athletic jerk

but nAh that one sentence was enough to snap you out of your delulu and go about your own day,,,, ya know, hating hyunjin and stuff

the usual

so this goes on for weeks, you giving hyunjin your famous glare and hyunjin feeling his heart break every time you do it,,,, bcs he’s never had anyone hate him before

one day you were at the library, rushing your assignments bcs dAmn the queen of sass was also a queen of procrastination

like mate, stop procrastinating

you binge-watched your show over the weekends and now you were seated at the library, regretting your life decisions

and you’re so focused like, it’s a miracle that you’re that focused

but some iDIOT just breaks that focus by sitting from across you on YOUR table

who dares

you look, ready to snap at this soul when you realise who it was

oh

“hey y/n,,, can i sit here?”

“funny how you do it and then ask for permission”

at this hyunjin gives you a sheephish smile and goes

“well i had a hunch you wouldn’t have said yes if i had asked first”

“ding ding ding!!!!!! you’ve got the correct answer and earned yourself no shits from me!”

at this, you go back to your work, ignoring the cute pout hyunjin was now sporting because of your ignorance

3 minutes later and you’re disrupted again

“hey y/n,,, i’m sorry for what happened between you and her,,, i really didn’t mean to say that. i just wanted to let you know that i broke it off with her.”

“oh wow congrats”

you hear him sigh, feeling triumphant that you had gotten him to give up talking to you

well spoiler, you wERE WRONG

not even 2 minutes later

“hey, do you have a pen i can borrow? i lost mine,”

“hey do you know what this means”

“hey-”

tHAT WAS IT

“omG hyunjin i’m trying to finish my assignment will you just shut up for a while? like literally i’m willing to do anything to get you to shut up”

you furiously look back down at your assignment, wanting to get it over and done

and then you hear it

you hear him clearing his voice,,, indicating that he was about to speak again

just as you were about to cut him off

“anything?”

wut,,,,,

“what do you mean, anything?”

“you said you’ll do anything to get me to shut up. will you really?”

“ofC not what do you take me for??”

“okay then i guess i’ll just continue talking :>”

bOi

that did it for you

you slammed your book shut, and looked up at him, narrowing your eyes suspiciously

“what’s your deal?”

at this, hyunjin looks away, thinking for a while

just as you were starting to get impatient, he speaks up

“okay. okay okay okay. this is the deal. i’ll stop talking for the rest of the day if you promise that we can be friends. and that you won’t hate me anymore.”

well that was unexpeCTED

but you weren’t that easy

nah uh

“wOw you’re asking for a lot huh,,, hmmm let’s see,,,,,,,,,, no.”

and just as you were about to pack your stuff and move to another table, you hear something that stops you from moving

“i’ll help you with your assignment. i’ve already finished mine so it’ll be a piece of cake.”

now THAT was a good offer

“but i only help my friends with their assignments”

this lil sHIT

well played hwang hyunjin, well played *slowly claps*

you watched as he smirked at you, knowing that he had caught your weak spot

you had an internal debate with yourself, and finally came to a decision

will you regret this decision??

probably

but you were desperate

so you stare at him for a few seconds before extending your hand

“deal.”

he breaks out into a grin and grabs your hand, sealing the deal and the start of a new friendship

that night, just as you were about to sleep after that oh so eventful day you had, you hear your phone chime

you groan as you reach out, wanting to make as little movement as possible bcs,,,, you were lazy

you grab your phone by the tips of your fingers and check your messages

hyunjin: hey this is my address! [address]. see ya tmrw bestie <3

you roll your eyes at his attempts and type one letter before throwing your phone to the side and drifting off to dreamland, with a slight smile on your lips

you: k

the next morning,, you are there at hyunjin’s front door, right on time

bUt why aren’t you pressing the doorbell???? 

let’s be real,,, underneath all that sass, you were just a nervous teenage girl

before you could chicken out and leave, you smack yourself and press the doorbell

a few seconds later the door opens,, and you come face to face with a middle-aged woman

“hi dear, what can i do for you?”

aWkwArd,,,,

“uhm,,, i’m here to work on an assignment with hyunjin??”

“oh! hyunjin didn’t mention anything, but come right in!”

that little piece of uncultured swine

you walk into the house and stand around awkwardly, not knowing what to do or say

when his mother points you to his room, and lets you know that he’s probably still sleeping with a small shake of her head

hmMm looks like him oversleeping happens often

you contemplated if you should go in,,, cause ya know, privacy and shit

but you had to get your revenge??? obviously

so you silently walk in to the room and voila 

there was that sleeping lump, sprawled across a queen sized bed

as you get closer, you can’t help but notice just how good looking he was

i mean sUre you’ve seen him around in school but

with the amount of peace he had on his face,,, he looked almost ethereal

but with that thought, you snapped out of it

bcs exCuse yOu

you’re here for revenge

not to admire the boy

so you carefully lift your leg,,, and muster all the strength in the world

and BAM

you just kicked him off the bed,,, him falling onto the floor with a loud thud

and it did the trick !!!!

he shot right up and looked around, vision hazy and mind still blurred

just as he was starting to come to his senses, his eyes focus on the one girl standing on the other side of the bed,, smirk evident on her face

“that’s what you get for leaving me alone with the adults in the house”

and you walk right out,, leaving him to stare at you speechless 

time skip,,,, 5 hours later, and you’re all done with your assignment

and although you hated to admit it

it turned out pretty fricking amazing

thanks to your brain, your hardwork, a bit of hyunjin, but mostly your perseverance :D

oK but real talk literally you were screwed if he didn’t help so

you kinda owed him big time

“look man, thanks a lot for your help. i would have died without you”

and hyunjin just counters this statement with a smile and shakes his head, letting you know that it was okay

and you kindA felt bad,,,, i mean, you did try and kill him with your glares the past few weeks

and you weren’t thAt mean

so,,,

“uhm,,, do you think,, maybe,, we could start over? hard feelings forgotten?”

and this takes hyunjin by total surprise,,, like all he ever wanted was just to talk to you after seeing you stare him down the past few weeks

but he’d be lying if he said that his heart wasn’t bursting for joy bcs !!!! yay!!!! you didn’t hate him anymore!!!!! what a baby boy

so y’all start over that very day,,, and as expected, hit it off almost immediately

*end flashback*

sO back to now where you have an amazing best friend

pshhh best friend they say

what no i didn’t say anything

n E ways

oK fine,,, on top of him being your best friend, it was really no surprise that you fell for him

i mean cmon

he’s sweet

talented

bEautiful

and etc

but like bij nAh, you were never planning to confess bcs bij??? that could ruin your friendship????

everybody facepalm with me

so you just keep it a secret and try to live with it

except it was reaaally hard to keep it a secret

bcs you saw him almost every. single. day

he’s always asking you to do something with him

getting ice cream,, watching a movie,, going to the park

you even learned how to play soccer bcs he insisted on teaching you

but despite all this, you were still persistent that he saw you as nothing more than a friend,,, and that he did this with all his close friends

news flash: nO he did not

but since it was too much feelings for you to handle, you spill all of this to your other close friend, jisung

and he’s like 

“oOOoO expected,,, why don’t you just confess??”

and you’re like 

“are you duMB? it’s going to ruin our friendship?? i can’t do that??”

and he’s just like

“you’re the dumb one here sis, but go off, i guess”

bCs literally the whole world knew you two had heart eyes for each other

and by whole world, i mean jisung

and being xTra, he’s like,,, you know what?? i gotta get them together

so he “casually” makes a bet with you

and you’re like ooOoO fun

bcs you love bets

mainly has to do with the reason that you hardly ever lose one :>

so when jisung goes “if i get higher than you on this economics test, you gotta text hyunjin 7 reasons why you like him. no explanations given.”

and you really wanna say no and run away

but like

you were no coward

so you’re like “sUre bij bring it on, i was born ready for thi s”

so the day you get back your results, you’re more nervous for the bet than your grades

like you could fail, for all you care

but as long as you failed higher than jisung,, all’s fine

so when you get back your test with a 86 scribbled at the top, you grin to yourself,, convinced that there was no way he was gonna get any higher than you

but as you turn to show him your score,, your smile slowly fades,,,

bcs on his paper

a big red 92 is written at the top, with an ‘excellent’ scribbled next to it

“so,,, y/n,,, ready for what i’ve planned?”

and he’s just grinning like the cheshire cat, with you staring at him in disbelief, mentally counting down to your doom

the next day, you try to convince your mum that you’re down with a really bad disease, which makes it absolutely impossible for you to go school

but your mum ain’t buying that

so there you were, standing at your locker, looking left and right for any signs of han jisung

just as you thought you were safe, you hear someone calling out your name

your face turns white, as you turn around, expecting to come face to face with jisung

but instead you’re met with a raven-haired boy that made your heart beat unnecessarily fast

“whatcha doing today after school??”

and you’re just like qUick think of an excuse

bcs you were in no position to stay with him any longer than necessary for fear that you may just blurt out what you had formed in your head bcs of the bet

“uhhh i’ve got plans with jisung!! we’re gonna go to,, the market! yea!”

seriously,,,, that’s the best you could come up with??

so hyunjin just gives you a really weird look and draws out a “okay,,,,,,,,”

and you’re just like “yea okay bye!!!”

and you run the heCK away

time skip and it’s the end of school

the time which you were dreading,,, because there stood han jisung, waiting for you to confess to your crush

“jisung,,, i really don’t think i can do this,,, can’t i just like, buy you lunch for a week or something?”

“as tempting as that sounds, nO. you’ve gotta do this for yourself, for humanity, and for my sanity. i swear i can’t hear you talking about him again”

at his, you sigh, knowing that he’s right,,, but still not gaining the guts to do it

“come on y/n,,,, you know that on top of me really wanting you to stop bothering me about him, you really gotta get your feelings out of your system,,, you’re not going to be able to keep everything in.”

and although you just wanted to die and chill in heaven at that moment

jisung had a point,,, which was a rare occurrence 

so you decide to listen to him,,, i mean, what’d you got to lose???

maybe your shame

and your precious friendship

but that’s it

so you whip your phone out and press the top contact on your phone

“ok here i go,,,”

“yEs queen!!! get it!”

you briefly roll your eyes at him, before returning your eyes to the screen

the cursor blinking, almost tauntingly

you breathe out and just take it as a platform to let it all out

i love the way you play soccer

ofc you do,,, i’m the best :P

you feel slight relief at his reply, but at the same time, you couldn’t stop the way slight disappointment filled you at his interpretation of you texts

jisung peeked at your phone from over your shoulder, immediately voicing out objections

“come on y/n!! that’s so lame! that barely counts as a confession!”

you groan out loud, and type on your phone, earning a hum of satisfaction from the nosy boy behind you

i love the way your eyes crinkle when you smile 

why, thank you y/n,,,, but what’s with the sudden compliment spree

“ugh, jisung i’m going crazy,,,”

you actually were,,, moments away from throwing your phone into the lake right beside where you were seated

“you got this love,,, just a few more and you can live with no regrets,”

you knew he was right,,, although it was absolutely embarrassing, you know you would regret not telling him in the future

i love the mole underneath your eye

y/n??? c’mon, what’s wrong? are you pranking me right now??

you take a deep breath, and continue on, with the newly found courage

i love the way you pestered me to talk to you even though i was being a complete ass

hey seriously, tell me what’s happening?

i love the way you always manage to put a smile on my face no matter the circumstance

y/n, please,,, don’t fill me with empty hope,, cut it out if you’re pranking me,,,

,,, empty hope? what’s that supposed to mean??

whatever it meant, it sure did it’s part in speeding up your already dying heart 

you suck it up, butterflies growing stronger as you get closer and closer to your last message

i love how my heart speeds up merely at the mention of your name

tell me that this is what i think it means,,,

you stared at your screen, three simple words written out

but your fingers seemed to be jammed, unable to press the send button

was this all just a mistake?? maybe you could just play it off as a prank by jisung

“you got his honey,,, just do it,, press the button” 

and with this encouragement from jisung, you press the send button without further hesitation, feeling as though your heart physically stopped as you observed how the “delivered” changed to “read”, indicating that he had read your message

i love you.

are you for real???? i’m coming to you now. where are you?

you stare at your phone, unable to comprehend what had happened in the past few minutes, as jisung slowly pries your phone from you

he types your whereabouts, as you continue to space out, heart beating at an unusual pace as you still try to process what you just did

“i’m going to leave now okay? just know that i am really proud of what you did,,,, and don’t worry too much, everything will be fine,”

with this, jisung leaves, leaving you to sit there alone, just wondering how things were going to be between you and hyunjin now

were y’all going to stop being friends??

or maybe you could just completely ignore what had happened and go back to being how y’all used to be,,,,

as you were in your own world, you fail to hear the footsteps that stopped right behind you

you hear someone take a seat beside you and whip your head to the side, almost regretting it immediately

“so,,, your messages,,,,”

and before you could do anything else, words just spill from you mouth with no filter whatsover

“i’m so sorry hyunjin, i really am,,, i know that we’ve been really really close friends and i might have just ruined what we had. i understand if you don’t wanna be friends anymore but i guess i hope we could just forget this and move on? i mean, that’s totally your choice because-”

and you’re cut off, just like that

no warning

nothing

zilch

nada

and the only thing that stopped you from continuing your rant was the fact that there a pair of lips on yours

hyunjin’s ones to be exact

whAT

DID WE EXPECT THIS???

yes, yes we did

but you certainly got the answer to your worries by that one action

as y’all break apart, you stare at him still dazed by the kiss, as he smiles lovingly at you

“i was so afraid that you were just pranking me,,, because if you had been, i would’ve been so heartbroken cause i really got my hopes really high,,, like, super high,, i guess i never replied you tho,,,, i love you too y/n. more than you can imagine.”

and you just snap out of it and do something you always do when you had to cope with intense situation

you laughed

you laughed and laughed and laughed

were you laughing at the fact that the person you loved, loved you back?

were you laughing at the fact that jisung was right for once?

or were you laughing at the fact that you were being a dumbass all this while when you could’ve manned up sooner?

you never found out

but what you did find out, is that being in love was amazing

especially when the person you were in love with was hwang hyunjin

so since then, you’ve been having a pretty frickin amazing life

good grades, hot boyfriend, the whole package

the news that you both were dating spread like wildfire

half of them were surprised, the other half jealous

but people were mostly surprised bcs of the fact that they thought you and him were already dating,,,

like you both were glued to each other every other day

so with that, everyone slowly got accustomed to the fact the school’s jock was once again taken

your relationship with hyunjin didn’t actually change that much,,, other than the fact that y’all kissed and did all the mushy shit

and also omg imagine 

you going for his soccer games, sporting his extra jersey that had “hwang” on the back of it, together with the number he was playing

and also him giving you flying kisses right before the starting whistle blows

and running over to you to give you a proper kiss once the final whistle had been blown, win or lose

and you couldn’t have been happier

∞ end ∞

[definegirlfriends]

favorite fics where one of the boys comes to the realization that they’re not straight?

All of these fics are about them realizing they aren’t straight, or similar enough that I thought they could be included! I put a little ✨ by my favorites! Enjoy x 

Allies in Heaven, Comrades in Hell: (265k) A Catholic school!AU where Louis is finishing sixth form and will definitely be famous someday if Harry has something to say about it, Liam is the racist homophobe that Zayn is dreadfully in love with, and Niall teaches guitar.  ✨

Baby Heaven’s In Your Eyes: (120k) A sixth form!AU where Harry is the fucked up bad boy with too many problems, Louis is the perfect rich boy with too much money and their schools are right across from each other. They meet at a party and that’s the last (and maybe the only) thing they need. ✨

Both Showing Hearts: (113k) Louis Tomlinson is, in fact, not straight. Harry Styles isn’t sure what he is. Together, they figure it out, and maybe fall in love along the way. Or, the Uni AU where Louis helps Harry figure out his sexuality, Niall crashes a bachelorette party, Liam works in a printing centre, and Zayn happens to need lots of printing done.

Completely, and Absolutely: (2.5k) Louis is so completely and absolutely NOT gay that the fact that anyone thinks Harry is his soulmate is just being ridiculous. Including himself. He just thinks they’re mates that are two parts of the same soul, and that’s not weird at all. Okay?Or, the one in which Louis spends the entirety of X Factor so deep in denial that he doesn’t realize he’s gay until he’s already 3000% gone for the dimpled mess in his arms.

Fumbling In The Dark: (21k) Louis is straight, Harry is not. They still shag a lot.

Hiding Place: (365k) Louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. Enter Harry Styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. With one fateful meeting in an X Factor bathroom, Louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because Harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual.From the X Factor house to Madison Square Garden, from the Fountain Studios stage to stadiums across the world, Louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace Louis as the center of his universe. ✨

How Many Secrets Can You Keep?: (11k) Harry, a homophobic Christian, joins Louis’ gay-straight alliance club at school, hoping to somehow attract lesbians (he’ll work out the logistics later). Louis shows him what he didn’t know he was actually there for. 

I’m a Beggar In The Morning (I’m a King At Night): (7k) ever since harry whispered things about louis at the grocery store they’ve been best friends and harry’s straight and louis’ not and that’s just how it is. “Sweet dreams, love,” Louis murmurs, and even though he feels creepy, he slips his hand in between Harry’s thighs and it’s warm and he kisses his cheek. He turns and leaves and doesn’t see that Harry’s eyes snap open or hear that a whine comes from his mouth.

I’m Trying Not To Make A Sound: (10k) Louis thinks he could die right there. He can’t feel anything but the tingling sensation all over his skin. He’s throwing away all his past thoughts on trying to be straight and denying his reactions towards other men, he just wants more of this numbing feeling. Everything else is a long lost memory, can’t think of anything else besides, wow, this feels incredible. or basically, “I am in fact straight.” / “Don’t knock it till you try it.”

Learning to Breathe: (110k) He’s playing football at one of the top universities in England and he should love everything about his life right now, but instead he’s moving backwards. How does your past fit into your present? Louis is still figuring it out. ✨

Let Me Teach You Something: (72k) In the last year of their degree program, the five boys are put in a group for the duration of a year long Capstone class. They will spend days and nights together working tirelessly to finish school. Louis has no problem with his sexuality and has the notches on his bed post to prove it, but will straight-laced, straight-boy Harry change all that? 

My Heart Is Beating For This Moment In Time: (160k) When Louis first saw Harry at the 2010 X Factor Auditions, he thought he was watching a peculiarly special stranger. But Harry has known Louis ever since he was five years old.Because Louis has a rare genetic disorder that causes him to Time Travel to important moments in his past and in his future - and to Harry, always to Harry. When they’re put into a band together, it seems like everything Harry has been waiting and wishing for has finally come true. Except for the small fact that Louis doesn’t know that Harry is in love with him- that Harry’s always been in love with him. Fate, it would seem, is just getting started.A story about growing up and growing together, and the impossible love that makes it all worthwhile. ✨

Nobody Compares To You: (10k) Harry has a long-term crush on his bandmate and best friend Louis, who is straight, at least as far as he knows. He also starts falling in love with this guy he met on tumblr. Who also has a crush on his own best mate. Things are about to get complicated.Or, the one where Harry falls in love twice, Louis is just incredibly sweet and supportive, and Al from tumblr is super nice but also really secretive about his identity - not that Harry can blame him, considering his own blog is run under false pretenses, too.

Not So Typical: (90k) Harry Styles; football phenomenon, academic prodigy and the most liked guy at Washington State.  Harry has it all; the looks, the popularity, the best friends and it doesn’t hurt that there is a line of girls ready to jump his bones at any second.  It all was perfect…almost perfect that is.  Until that one night, with that one too many drink still burning in his throat and those piercing blue eyes infusing themselves into his every thought.

Photograph: (207k) Harry steadies his jaw. “What do you want from me?”Louis’ bottom lip wobbles. “I’m not gay.”“Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?” And at that, Louis seems to completely lose his shit. He rushes towards Harry, banging his fists on Harry’s collarbones in a frenzy, and begins yelling– “I hate you! I hate you! I fucking hate you so much!”Tears are rushing down his cheeks, and then he’s shoving Harry away, drunk out of his ass, causing Harry to stumble back a bit. Louis then begins to clutch at himself, fisting his own clothes to his chest, dribble falling from his mouth, his arms shaky and his back hunched.“Fuckfuckfuckufkcufkc!” He spits, face contorted, hands trembling. “I hate you!”“No, you don’t.” Harry steps forward, face concerned. “You don’t hate me.”- An epic love story in which Harry is too in love for his own good, Louis is in denial of his sexuality, and they write songs instead of actually talking to each other.

Pillow Talk: (25k) “So, do you think I should… find someone to fool around with?” Harry asks, nervous again. “To see if I like it?”  Louis swallows hard but hopes he covers it pretty well with a casual shrug. “I mean, it would probably help to know that you actually want everything that goes along with being with a guy. If you can’t handle the machinery, it’s probably not for you, you know?”  Harry nods and appears to be steeling himself. Louis tenses, afraid that he knows what’s coming.  “Would you do it?”  “Do what?” Louis plays dumb.  Harry has to take another deep breath before he can say it.  “Will you help me figure out if I like it? Being with a boy?” Or When Harry starts having confusing feelings for a male classmate, his sister’s best friend, Louis, helps him figure himself out. Cue lots of kissing, sex, and falling in love.

Red Brick Heart: (98k) Uni AU. Harry had turned up at the halls of residence expecting fun, new friends, and maybe a life experience or two. What he doesn’t expect is a surprise roommate who’s loud and dramatic and obsessed with tea and is maybe, actually, all he’s ever wanted. ✨

Resist Everything Except Temptation: (100k) The one where Louis is the commodore’s son who is forced to become a part of Harry’s crew when he is captured. ✨

Shake Me Down: (208k) Harry’s new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization. ✨

Standing Here But You Don’t See Me: (22k) “Louis being with a guy is something Harry has always known was a possibility. Ever since Louis told them he was gay, he knew that this would come up at some point. But it was just that. At some point. It’s always been a hypothetical. Harry never thought it would bother him. But now, watching Louis squirm as he watches that other guy, it’s just not a hypothetical anymore. And Harry is very bothered by it.“or: Harry’s discovery that he like boys as well as girls. One boy in particular catches his eye and he’s determined to get him.

Supposed to Be: (20k) “I’m making a movie for a film competition, and I want you to be in it,” Harry told Louis. “I think you would be a great leading actor in it.” “Why?” “Because it’s you. I mean, who wouldn’t want to know all about the amazing Louis Tomlinson? It would be a great movie.” “You don’t have some weird crush or, like, secret obsession with me, do you?” Louis asked. Harry bit his tongue so he didn’t say “Ew, I have standards.” He didn’t think that would go over well. Of course, that was assuming Louis understood what that meant. — Or, the Geek Charming AU where Harry’s a film geek, Louis’ a popular jock, and they both need each other to get what they want.

The Impossible Now: (49k) A wish on Christmas Eve sends Louis to an alternate dimension where Harry is a member of One Direction. 

Unbelievers: (136k) It’s Louis’ senior year, and he’s dead set on doing it right. However, along with his pair of cleats, a healthy dose of sarcasm and his ridiculous best friend, he’s also got a complicated family, a terrifyingly uncertain future, and a mortal enemy making his life just that much worse. Mortal enemies “with benefits” was not exactly the plan. ✨

You and Me: (12k) harry is potentially screwed and louis is definitely hopeless, but its ok because as long as they’re in each other’s lives, everything will somehow probably turn out the way that its supposed to.

[dream-dove]

Writing Sample

Just to show how I basically role-play.

Stu Macher

Honestly most men within high school would have two ideas running in their head. One was trying to set a career for themselves for future and the other was at least gaining some girl affection. But for a guy like Stu Macher well his mindset was wired differently as to him the whole world was treating him like some outcast. That this boring world didn’t give no spark of joy until he met Billy Loomis. Oh boy did this those brought a twist to fun with the replacement of murder. Billy was the mastermind while Stu was the back seat rider that tag along out of peer pressure. Stu clearly didn’t have guts to do anything insane before Billy. Like playing out a scary movie where the killers would leave a deep impression on endless victims.

It was only 3 days after Casey and Steve deaths that still rang mystery. No one knew who would do such a horrific crime. Oh wait Stu knew the reason since he did killed that bitch. In his mind she had it coming for dumping him for some dumb jock guy. What a joke! Stu venture forth to one of his favorite diner that had a killing grilled cheese he loved so much. Entering the place as his nose immediately picked up the delicious smell of fry food. “Like heaven I tell you.” He said with a smile before taking seat, waiting for anyone to take this mad man order. His best friend Billy texted him about coming 10 minutes late. Telling him to order something as well. “I bet he’s with that Sindey chick kissing away like a horny bear he is.”

Bella Wilton (OC)

Bella arrived at Pi Kappa Sigma on a cold winter morning. Some red roses peeked gingerly at the low sun, shaking off some snow as they opened to the kiss of light. Mrs Mac marched up the steps and past the balustrade with great purpose, leaving Bella trailing quietly in her wake. Mrs Mac chatted about the house and its present inhabitants with affection and frustration by turns but it seemed good-natured, as it often was with her.

Bella tilted her head slightly, her brown leather suitcase in one hand, her coat and scarf draped over the other. 6 Belmont Street was grand in a mature, if slightly jaded way. It was made of brown stone with large windows and a small garden that stretched around it in a smartly-clipped square. There was a trellis criss-crossing up the wall towards some of the highest windows, which were small and dark and undoubtedly in the attic. The trellis was beginning to flourish too, with dark-green leaves and the faintest hint of honeysuckle emanating from delicate white flowers.

“You’ll meet the girls very soon, I should expect,” Mrs Mac said before tutting as she struggled to open the door. After a few attempts at rattling the brass knob, Mrs Mac cursed and set her bags down. “Goddamn it, this needs fixed.”

Once the door had finally opened and Mrs Mac had staggered through it, they were inside. The interior of the house matched quite well with what was outside of it. It was rather dark and smelled of wood polish and smoke from the hearth in the sitting room. There were stairs that led up towards the dorm rooms on the first floor and the corridor leading to the left of the stairs seemed to follow towards the kitchen. Sounds of morning chatter came from it and the clanking of cutlery against plates and glasses being shifted on the countertop. “Girls,” Mrs Mac called as she made her way towards the kitchen. Bella lingered in the hallway, looking around in demure silence. Mrs Mac looked back to her and smiled a slightly yellow smile. “ Bella, dear, hang up your coat and I’ll show you to your room in a moment.”

Bella nodded and did as she was told, hanging her white wool coat up by the loop at the collar on an already-full peg on the wall. Mrs Mac disappeared into the kitchen and she heard conversation. Excited voices along with Mrs Mac slightly chiding but playful tone. The grandfather clock ticked steadily as it had done presumably for decades. Bella waited. She had not expected Mrs Mae to reappear with two other girls; one slender and brunette with a cigarette hanging from her bottom lip, the other with a long mass of black waist-long jet hair a gentle expression.

“Now you two behave yourselves. This is Bella. She is the newest addition to our sorority.” Mrs Mac puffed out like a mother hen, lifting her chin proudly as the two girls at her back inspected Bella; the brunette with a pointed look and the black with gleeful anticipation.

“She looks real sweet, Mrs Mac,’ said the brunette, huffing smoke out of her mouth. “Can’t wait to see her try to fit in around here with a face like that. I’ll show her to he room.” The brunette explained before guiding Bella to her room which surprisingly was closer to the little hatch to the attic. “I’m Barb. I’m a sense I’m the fun one so keep that a small note. I might be a trouble maker Mrs Mac likes to say.” Bella couldn’t help but chuckle, “It’s fine. I don’t mind. I like trouble.”

Ranni

In the realm of the Erdtree, long before the tumultuous events that would shape her destiny, a young Ranni sat beside her mother, Rennala, under the vast night sky. The stars, like countless diamonds, adorned the heavens, casting a soft, silvery glow over the land. Ranni, with her wide, curious eyes, gazed up in awe, feeling a profound sense of wonder and peace.

Her mother, Rennala, the Queen of the Full Moon, sat beside her, her presence radiant and comforting. She pointed out constellations, weaving tales of gods and heroes who lived among the stars. Ranni listened intently, enraptured by the beauty of the cosmos and her mother's gentle voice. The bond between them was strong, their love evident in every shared glance and whispered word.

In those moments, Rennala's smile was bright and full of life, a beacon of warmth and affection. It was a smile that Ranni cherished, one that made her feel safe and loved. But as the stars continued their eternal dance, a shadow loomed over their happiness.

Her father, Radagon, a powerful and enigmatic figure, would soon leave them, drawn by his own fate and ambitions. His departure would shatter their world, leaving Rennala's heartbroken and her mind fragmented. The once radiant smile of her mother would fade, replaced by a sorrow that even the beauty of the stars could not dispel.

Ranni, too young to fully understand, felt the sting of his absence deeply. It was a betrayal that cut deeper than any blade, a wound inflicted by the deception of love.

As she grew older, Ranni would often return to that memory, to the nights spent stargazing with her mother. It was a reminder of the fleeting nature of happiness and the enduring strength of love, even in the face of unimaginable pain.

Jacaerys Velaryon (I call him Jace for short here)

Jace returned to Dragonstone with a heavy heart, the cold of the North still clinging to him. As he dismounted, he noticed the somber faces and hushed whispers. His heart sank as he hurried inside, desperate to find his mother and brother.

He found Rhaenyra in the great hall, her face a mask of grief. "Mother, where is Luce?" he asked, his voice trembling.

Rhaenyra's eyes filled with tears as she struggled to find the words. "Jace, Luce... he was striked down while completing his envoy. Attacked by Aemond Targaryen. H..He didn’t make it."

Jace felt as though the ground had been ripped from beneath him. Staggering back, he mumbled something about needing to be alone. But not without gaining the embrace from his mother, yet it only did so much to comfort him. Gently he stepped back before pardoning himself to his chambers. Once inside, he slammed the door shut and leaned against it, his breath coming in ragged gasps.

Anger and sorrow roiled within him, a storm of emotions that he could no longer contain. With a roar of anguish, he swept his arm across the table, sending maps and books crashing to the floor. He punched the wall, the pain a mere whisper compared to the agony in his heart. Tears streamed down his face as he fell to his knees, his body wracked with sobs.

His brother, his confidant, was gone. The weight of this loss threatened to crush him, but he couldn't let his mother see him like this. In the privacy of his room, Jace allowed himself to grieve, his cries echoing through the stone walls, a testament to a brother's love and an unbearable loss.

Eddie Munson

One night, Eddie, Gareth, and Jeff found themselves at Gareth's place, laughing and drinking as they exchanged stories and jokes. The night was getting rowdier, and Eddie, with his usual flair for drama, stood up and slurred, "Alright, guys, how about a dare?"

Gareth, always up for some mischief, grinned and said, "Alright, Eddie, I dare you to chug this entire bottle of hot sauce!"

Eddie, never one to back down from a challenge, grabbed the bottle and took a big gulp. Almost immediately, he turned beet red and started coughing uncontrollably. Gareth and Jeff doubled over with laughter, tears streaming down their faces. Eddie's eyes watered as he tried to regain his composure, but it was clear he had failed the dare.

"Looks like you couldn't handle it, Munson," Jeff teased. "You know what that means, right?" Eddie sighed, wiping his mouth. "Yeah, yeah, a tattoo. Let's do it."

The trio stumbled out into the night, making their way to the local tattoo parlor. Inside, they were greeted by the tattoo artist, who raised an eyebrow at their state but didn't seem too surprised. The three friends crowded around a book of designs, arguing loudly about what would be the sickest tattoo for Eddie to get.

"How about a skull with a snake coming out of it?" Jeff suggested.

"Nah, too cliché," Gareth replied. "What about a dragon?"

Eddie, still feeling the effects of the hot sauce, suddenly raised a finger, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "I've got it! A demon head! That would be kickass!"

The tattoo artist smirked. "A demon head, huh? Alright, let's get started."

Eddie winced as the needle buzzed to life, but he bit his lip and held still. Gareth and Jeff watched in awe as the design took shape on Eddie's chest. When it was finally done, Eddie looked down at the demon head inked on his left side and grinned.

"Now that's metal," he declared, and the three friends laughed, knowing they would never forget the night Eddie Munson got his kickass tattoo.

Roman Björn

Roman dribbled the ball with a practiced ease, his sneakers squeaking against the gym floor as he scanned the court. Steve hovered close, determined to block him. Roman feinted left, then spun right, leaving Steve a step behind. He could feel the eyes of the few spectators in the gym on him, and he loved the attention. Nearing the half-court line, he took a deep breath, feeling the familiar thrill of a risky move. As Steve lunged to block him, Roman leapt, releasing the ball in a perfect arc. The ball sailed through the air, and for a moment, time seemed to freeze. Then, with a satisfying swish, it sank through the hoop.

Steve landed, hands on his hips, shaking his head in disbelief. Roman jogged up to him, a broad grin on his face. "Hey Harrington, you might want to consider wearing glasses," he teased, clapping a hand on Steve’s shoulder. "Might help you see the ball better next time." He couldn’t resist adding a bit more salt to the wound. "Man, did you see that? I just destroyed you on the court!" Steve rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at his lips, appreciating the good-natured ribbing from his fellow teammate.

[lost-n-stereo]

they’ll call our crimes a work of art

Part 1

There are miles upon miles of sun scorched earth between San Diego and the Texas border.

He downshifts, the engine purring as he speeds down the deserted highway. Desert passes them on both sides, wide open space as far as the eye can see and he knows with almost complete certainty that they are in the free and clear.

For now, at least.

“Woooo!”

Clarke bangs on the headliner next to him, her hair messy and wild from being trapped under a baseball cap all day. A black duffle bag rests at her feet and even though it’s zipped up tight he knows that inside contains the very thing that they need to survive.

Money. Lots and lots of fucking money.

Two point two million, to be exact. He feels a little like Robin Hood, robbing from the rich to give to the poor. Only in their case, they are the poor.

Well, he’s the poor because Clarke is what she calls “rich adjacent” meaning her family is rich so by association so is she. Ivy League, medical school, scholarships. These are all words that mean less than nothing to him, just a poor kid from the wrong side of San Diego, but to Clarke they meant confinement. Restrictions.

Basically the opposite of freedom.

Murphy looks over at her, a wide smile crossing her pretty face as she rests her bare feet on the dashboard of his Trans AM. It’s a piece of shit that his dad left him before he died but it’s fast as hell and got them away from California quicker than the bus.

It only hurts a little when he remembers that he has to ditch it as soon as they hit Arizona.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” Clarke says, popping her gum as she stares out at the passing scenery. “We are bad ass, baby!”

Murphy laughs, reaches over and rests his hand between her thighs. “You’re damn right we are.”

Clarke grins and reaches over to turn the radio up, rolls down her window and lets her hand make air waves as The Rolling Stones pump through the speakers.

Nothing is ever going to feel this good he thinks as they speed down the I-10. He hasn’t seen another car in miles and doesn’t expect they will anytime soon but they are going to have to stop for gas if he stays at this pace.

“Getting hungry?”

Clarke nods and turns down the music. “Let’s find a diner. One of those old school ones with the red vinyl seats and a jukebox at every table.”

“Kind of a tall order,” he chuckles. “But your wish is my command, Princess.”

If you would have told him a year ago, hell even six months ago, that he’d be pulling a Bonnie and Clyde with the richest girl from his high school he would have either laughed in your face or punched you in the face.

Probably the latter because he’s always been a bit of a shithead.

When he ran into her at a club downtown four months ago she was downright fucked, knocking back tequila shots with a girl named Raven he remembered from their high school.

“What’s eating you?” He asked when she literally bumped into him at the bar.

“No one,” she’d said with a snicker and her hand immediately went to her mouth. “Oh my god, forget I just said that.”

“Not a fucking chance.” He’d just laughed and wondered if she even remembered him. John Murphy, class asshole. Not much else to remember probably but he remembered her all the same. The way she dated both the jocks and the cheerleaders. The hottest girl in school although she cared more about her studies than clothes and makeup.

“How have you been, Murphy?”

To say he had been surprised would be a fucking understatement. In fact he’s pretty sure he actually choked a little on his Jack and Coke.

“I’ve been fine, Clarke. Yourself?”

“I got dumped,” she had lamented, her eyes rolling as if recalling whatever fucked up thing ended her relationship. “My girlfriend found herself a new girlfriend so here I am. Getting sloshed because apparently I have zero self control.”

“Oh, now I don’t know about that,” he’d laughed. “Remember that night in Finn Collins’ basement? We got matched up for seven minutes in heaven and I’m pretty sure you kneed me in the balls when I suggested you give me a little kiss.”

Clarke snorted so hard her hand shook and tequila came dangerously close to flying out of her shot glass. “If I remember correctly, you tried to stick your tongue down my throat and said ‘Hey baby, you know you want some of this.’”

“Sounds like me.”

If he was shocked as hell that she remembered him he was even more surprised when she reached her hand over, ran her pinkie finger up the inside seam of his jeans at his thigh.

“And what about now?”

He had licked his lips, let his gaze fall to the way her black dress clung tightly to her curves. “Now? Now I’d prefer if you begged me for it.”

Needless to say she blew off her friend and ended up back at his dingy apartment, her moans so loud they got the cops called on them.

Twice.

Thinking back on it now it’s kind of funny that they have been dodging cops since they first started this up.

“What are you thinking about over there?”

He smiles, tightens one hand on her leg and the other on the wheel. “Just thinking about when we first met.”

“When we were ten?”

“No,” he snorts. “I mean when this Murphy met this Clarke. Because face it, sweetheart. You are nothing like you were in high school.”

Her scowl actually turns him on. How fucked up is that? “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Relax,” he laughs, even though his mother once told him you should absolutely for no reason whatsoever tell a woman to relax or calm down. “I just meant high school Clarke wouldn’t be caught dead with high school me.”

“That’s not true,” she says, her voice taking on this raspy tone that goes straight to his dick. His heart beats faster when she leans over to rest her lips on the shell of his ear. “High school Clarke thought about you a lot, actually.”

“Oh yeah?” he croaks out, his throat drying up and he’s so hard for her he wouldn’t be surprised if he pulls over and takes her right here on the highway. “What about when you were with Finn?”

“Mhm.” She bites at his earlobe, sending shock waves through his body so intense he’s afraid they might crash.

“Lexa?”

“Yep.”

“Bellamy?”

She stiffens and he wants to kick his own ass for bringing him up. “We aren’t going to talk about him, remember.”

“Sorry, babe,” he says sincerely because he is. Bringing up the guy she almost married straight out of high school wasn’t his brightest idea but fuck if he can think straight when his dick is hard.  

He remembers their breakup their freshman year of college. Everyone though they’d end up together, married at twenty, first kid by twenty two. Mansion in the hills, two point five kids and a Golden Retriever. They were set in stone.

Until they weren’t.

Murphy didn’t go to college due to the fact that he had zero dollars to his name and did fuck all in high school. Instead he got a job right after graduation, and the fact that he graduated at all was enough to make his entire family proud. Or what little family he has left. He does remember the very public breakup since it happened at the restaurant he moonlighted as a bartender at to make some extra cash.

Bellamy gave Clarke a ring. Clarke said no. Bellamy stormed out.

It was a lot more dramatic than that but you get the gist.

“Can I just ask you one thing?”

He’s treading carefully because this is a subject they haven’t gotten into yet. She might shut him the fuck down but he’s at least going to try.

“You want to know why I said no.”

It’s not a question, just a solemn statement and that’s what he loves about this girl. She fucking knows him without him having to say a word.

“Yeah.”

Clarke sighs, her hand still making waves out the window but now he thinks she probably doesn’t even realize that she’s doing it. “My life has been planned for me since I was a little girl. Go to an Ivy League, become a doctor. Marry someone with my pedigree and have the perfect life that my parents have always wanted for me. But I didn’t want that, Murphy. I didn’t want to be some dumb girl that just lived her life the way everyone else wanted her to.”

He motions to the duffle bag resting on the floorboards. “And that’s going to help, right?”

“Yes,” she says seriously. “I want to be with you and yes, I’m sure there was another way than stealing millions of dollars from the Blake’s but this is how it had to be. Bellamy’s family is loaded, almost as much as mine. They won’t even miss it and you and I can get away. It’s better this way.”

There have been a lot of moments over the last few weeks when he thought that she would either bail or dime him out the first chance she got but damn if she proved him wrong.

The plan was simple, steal some cash from her ex’s family and leave town. The Blake’s are practically San Diego royalty, Bellamy Blake being the eldest son and a future Leader of America. Primed since birth to take over his mother’s real estate empire. Millions of cash sitting in barely locked safes, easy pickings for a criminal like him.

Clarke came up with the plan since she was still close with Bellamy’s younger sister Octavia. The Blake’s are vacationing in Belize, the house empty over the weekend since they require no staff when the family is out of the country. Clarke knew how to get in without setting off alarms, had the code to the safe hiding in the library and knew exactly how much to steal without anyone noticing for awhile.

They broke in wearing black clothes and baseball caps, her long blonde hair wrapped up and tucked in just in case any security footage caught them sneaking in and out of the house. The job took less than ten minutes, no alarms went off and they hauled ass to his car that they had parked a few streets down.

All they have to do is dump the Trans AM, no great loss there, in Arizona just in case any neighbors happened to be looking out the window when they drove away with a cool two mil in their car on the way out. He has a buddy in Texas that said he’d put them up for awhile until they figured out where they wanted to go.

It was fool proof and it worked like a charm.

What could possibly go wrong?

***

“If I eat anymore, you’re going to have to roll me out of here.”

­Murphy chuckles as he wipes his face with his napkin and throws it down on the table. “There might not be a jukebox on the table but at least you got your vinyl seats.”

She blows him a kiss before sucking on her milkshake straw and damn he can’t wait to get her in a hotel room tonight.

“Can you order us some extra food to go? I’m gonna go take a leak.”

Clarke scrunches up her nose in disgust and he smirks, drops a kiss to her temple as he’s passing her on the way to the restroom.

An old plasma television set is bolted in a corner of the kitchen, set to some local news channel, and he doesn’t pay attention to it until he hears a familiar name.

“Breaking news out of San Diego, CA. Aurora Blake, real estate mogul, has just filed a police report stating that over 2 million dollars was taken from a safe in her home today. The Blakes are currently on vacation out of the country but have understandably cut their vacation short in order to help police with their investigation. The only known suspects at this time are two individuals that broke into the Blake residence around 8 pm on Saturday night. The suspects were caught on the Blake’s security cameras but because their faces are not shown, it might prove impossible to use these videos to find them.”

Murphy’s heart drops, his eyes darting across the grainy photograph of him and Clarke sneaking through the Blake mansion, their faces completely hidden by the bills of their baseball caps.

He hurries over to where Clarke is talking to the waitress, drops three twenties on the table before pulling her up by her arm.

“Baby, we gotta go. Now.”