#he’s bald and wearing sunglasses with tattoos up and down his arms

[skinreflectsthesun]

.

[dreamcatcherrs]

spending new year’s eve with them; mcyt x reader

+ HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

++ let*s hope for a much better year, cause 2021 was officially the worst year of my life :) don't forget to wear safety goggles!!!

♡ dream ♡:

driving out to a viewpoint in the middle of the night to watch the fireworks together

counting down the seconds when the time hits 11.59 pm at the top of your lungs

getting drunk together and eating mcdonalds at 4 am, laughing as you annoy the employees

setting off fireworks together and screaming at the loud noises

kissing once the time hits 12 am

♡ georgenotfound ♡:

wearing the most ridiculous hats and taking photos of each other wearing them

playing video games all night

popping the champagne bottle open and drinking it straight from the bottle

sitting on the floor, telling each other stories from your past

watching the fireworks from the window with his arm around you

♡ sapnap ♡:

going to a new year’s party and getting dressed up for the occasion

dancing on the floor together, enjoying the last day of the year

kissing somewhere in a corner and missing the countdown to midnight, only caring about each other and nothing else

coming home to watch your favourite movie on the couch whilst eating snacks

falling asleep together while watching the movie

♡ badboyhalo ♡:

renting a cabin just for the two of you

playing board games while the new year’s channel runs on the tv in the background

ordering chinese food and eating way more than you can handle

setting off fireworks

posting videos on twitter of each other in secrecy

♡ technoblade ♡:

wearing matching technoblade pyjamas all day and all night

logging onto random minecraft servers and playing games you haven't played for years

cooking dinner together and then filling your tummies with ice cream

cuddling up on the couch with floof and watching whatever’s on tv

talking all night and celebrating him hitting 10 mil as well as the new year with a kiss

♡ wilbur soot ♡:

going out into the city and wandering the streets all night

buying matching ugly sunglasses from a random corner store and taking funny photos together

getting scared of the fireworks because they’re so close to you and then laughing at each other getting scared

laying in the grass at a park nearby and watching as the sky lights up with your fingers intertwined

♡ corpse husband ♡:

going to a bar someplace nearby

and shouting a big ‘fuck you’ to 2021 once you enter 2022

getting shitfaced drunk and planning on forgetting the past year

getting tattoos you picked out for each other

having to rip his phone out of his hands before he accidentally does a face reveal while drunk

♡ karl jacobs ♡:

driving around town in a shopping cart you took from a mall

wearing 2022 headbands

going to eat at an expensive restaurant and then get stared down by the rich people as you run out and ditch the place with a wine bottle in hand

spending the rest of the night with friends and family, playing fun games for a memorable night

♡ quackity ♡:

playing horror games where you have to drink every time you get jump-scared

watching videos of yourself from this year

kissing with fake moustaches on to match the weirdness of this year

shaving his head and making him bald while he's asleep

nah jk, you’ll just photoshop him to look bald

♡ punz ♡:

crashing at a party where you don't know anyone and no one knows you

competing against each other in beer pong

and because you lose he makes you jump into the pool

he jumps in too and you share a drunken kiss under the water

laughs at your angry frenzy but then gets you warmed up afterwards to make it better(👀)

you leave at 6am and sleep the whole day once you get home

♡ tommy ♡:

streams minecraft with you until midnight

and then you spend time celebrating with his family, taking a photo together with hats on and posting it on twitter

begs you for a kiss when the clock strikes zero and pouts when you only kiss his cheek

rambles on about how he’s gonna stay up all night

and then ends up falling asleep with his head on your lap an hour later

♡ tubbo ♡:

you guys stay up all night streaming a bunch of different games, keeping  each other awake when the other is tired

taking a small break from streaming to watch the fireworks go off in the neighbourhood

as soon as the stream ends you both flop onto the bed, signing off almost immediately

you manage to mumble a “happy new year” to each other before blacking out

♡ ranboo ♡:

you have your own at home karaoke with hits from this year and songs that you both love

your plan was to go out and enjoy the fireworks with friends, but instead you ended up staying home to hang out with each other

you watched the countdown on tv and he hugged you tightly once you entered the new year, kissing your nose

you played minecraft together on your own server, just the two of you

he makes sure to cover your ears to protect you from the loud noises from the fireworks as you watched the colours in the sky change

____________________________________

tag list✰

@zayenz @terribletoothbat @0t0n1n @0125cm @yukiuheh @shinee-is-5-forever @regularnoceur @b01nk-b0w@christhebish@nutritious-emo-crackkk@bookishreid@giavanna-707 @reddiesmcdonalds@cosmins@vixxzial@autumnpleaves@paradigmax@meaganjm@shiningsunrises@moralofwalls@username1212131@gxldentaestuff@innitdream @televisionpresent38 @bubblyanis@zurami@highoffhockey@popinjaytaylor@196os@livsbaby@doubts-of-gold@bunlina@retrav @mcyt-is-my-life@aleaisntcreative @my-shitpost-of-writing @my-shitpost-of-writing@clownsdrowning@pissbabywastaken@shiningsunrises@tie-dyed-dumbass @death-by-rats@simpfordraco @bippity-boppity-boopa@neongreendaydreams  @vibin-by-myself@littlepotatos0w0@christhebish @pipp-poppz@btsiguess-kpop@prettysmallfries@hiyoko-kos@kenmxskitten@fudrudy@weepingartanimespy@rhino-zucchini@goldenstarofthunderclan@melonmarz@ubeicecreamisthebest@polaroidinurroom @ady-yoo@isimpforeveryone@edenhollandd@ineedtogetoutofhere@glitter-night @hamilsandersfam@mothheart-witch @wrong-exit@trashcanfullofdork @hellfirepheonixx @marshmallow-babe@isimpforeveryone @ky50621 @randomcloud@wormie4k@dinonuggies50  @p4rty-t4ttoos@aspenthegremlin@book-of-anarchy @jeyacore @thetattooink@gogywasfound@millavalntyne@junob1ade@ubeicecreamisthebest@karida @i-have-paws-love@drvgonraja@eatasslikegrass@creamofweep@venusomega@lunarfedora@rowe-n @wreny24 @vincent-stargogh@floatingplanets@vernon-dursley@childhoodgrunge@fivxss@hexagonclash@crazyjuls12@littlebabysandboxburritos@shifted-dreams@lenamarie666@reinyrei@sozvuchiy @weaslvy-mxlfoy@aiofheavenandhell@honeyglaazed@carisle-mikealson@ineedtogetoutofhere@twist3dtinkerbell@cracraforfandoms@angel-dazey @leia-starly @smiithys@squiddyyyy@c0wc0ww@animeweeb019284 @m00-bl00m-k0le@stqrs-thoughts @jenlouvre@uhhhguiltypleasures@trappedchest@punzrights@trashgremlin36@cyberrsoot@elebeleb @k3nn3dis-crap@karlshoodies@rascal-in-banishment@heartbroken-writer@bartok-the-magnificent@ihavenoideashelp@goldiefox1@bethybop@helluhru@venuzblr@pha5ed5tar50 @cscooop@bethybop@lunareclipse-13@http-strawberryy@mahitophobic@ahmya-4@dracoscumwh0re @darkdaria1 @jiminifiess@orchardangel@shyorchider@cupcake54492@natsueyama@honeyconnie@notacardigan@maybeshroom @sbi-is-my-onlysanity @yoshi-rikuaeshetic@gayyysunflower@sarahwasfound@ditzyjitters@queenelkiexx @jinxy175 @starlight-writes-stuff@youngstarfishdinosaur@dilfpunz​ @officialsimppage​ @sa-edal​ @lemon-cow @someinsanefangirl​ @noncannonships@simplestradicalform @buzzer-s​ @ariespirate​ @moonlight-394​ @sloxth-poe​ @loonyprincelupin​ @pearlsposts​ @strxbrymilkkuu​ @trash-chiold @andreamalik6​ @froggyy06​ @ryxjxnnx​ @elizaaaaabeth @shadowwalkersoldblog​ @tapesfrom1980​ @littlws​ @antisocialweeb @loonylovegood13​ @vtte@hjbbyyy​ @cheesysin​ @milky-toast​ @softdumplingposts​ @nanmno​ @verulous @m00nsthet1c​ @sophtheaven​ @marrymetheonott​ @agentmargo​ @theseuskey​ @tinyegg​ @lakifaki​ @raspberrylemonadewitch​ @sufloerfs​ @the-anonymous-ones​ @a-shrimp-for-you​ @smuttasticc @cherriesradio​ @hehet-ateez​ @a-panseuxalmess​ @queennightsetz​ @quackitys-amor​ @fruitkith @viridian-rose​ @heyxxitsxxtay​ @almost-a-ladybug​ @killzandchillz​ @aceofbroken-hearts​ @toodeepintofandoms​ @this-congressdoesnotspeakforme​ @why-do-i-love-life​ @seraphqueen123​ @nerdytomorrowxtogetherateezpeach @valeriieesblog​ @ranboosday @st4rstr 

[mapleglasses27]

Izuku Midoriya, Denki Kaminari and Shoto Todoroki with a Stoner s/o. [Requested]

Request - can you do hcs with izuku, katsuki, shoto, and Denki with a stoner s/o?

Sure!

[Characters are aged up to at least like 19 for logical reasons, but there is no NSFW.]

Midoriya Izuku.

How you met

- He probably found you passed out in an alley.

- First instinct, PANIC.

- Grabs you and just kinda runs home with you.

- So you wake up, and you see all might posters absolutely everywhere.

- It's fair to almost punch him in the face.

- But he's a muscle pig, so it's fine.

- He sits down, asks you what's wrong,

- And that really hits you in the feels.

- It's been a long time since someone cared.

- But you're still skeptical, so you just close your eyes down to slits and say thankyou.

- He flashes you the cinnamon roll smile.

- You wished you had your sunglasses.

- He let you stay over, Inko made her famous katsudon.

In the relationship.

- After seeing the sheer amount of cigarette packs you have, he is terrified.

- Grabs the most he can, and throws em out.

- You were mad at him, but still felt nice someone cared.

- But oh no no, it isn't that easy to get rid of addictions.

- Unlike most of your exes, he doesn't try to convince you to go to a rehabilitation place.

- No, he IS all the rehab you'll need.

- Who doesn't feel warm and fuzzy inside when you wake up to a cuddly broccoli?

- He is in LOVE with your motorcycle.

- Lowkey tries to match your style.

- He still looks kinda cute.

- You appreciate the effort.

- Ngl, half of 1A passed out when they saw you pick him up on a weekend.

- Who knew the cinnamon roll had a badass tattooed stoner gf who had a MOTORCYCLE?

- They're highkey jealous.

- You stay over a lot at his house, at this point half of his posters have been taken over my MCR posters.

- He loves it anyway.

Kaminari Denki

How you met

- I feel like he accidentally did something to your motorcycle.

- He thought that some huge bald guy owned it, and he was dead asf

- But when he saw you smoking a cigarette, wearing your edgy clothes and helmet tucked under your arm,

- Everything went slo-mo for him.

- It was slo-mo until you [harshly] asked what happened to your bike.

- He knew he ****** up.

- He tried to be smooth, miserably failed, and then just asked if he could make it up to you by treating you to some lunch.

- You had half a mind to not agree and demand money, but you were hungry, and you had a mechanic friend who owed you quite a few favors so you could get the bike fixed, so you went with him to a restaurant.

- I personally headcanon that Denki is somewhat of a street kid, so when he takes you to a hole-in-the-wall kinda place with exceptional food in some alley of Musutafu, don't be surprised.

- Just enjoy the food.

- He'll definitely try to ride your motorcycle.

- The moment he lays his hand on your motorcycle, you decide to get insurance for the first time in your life.

- Cue both of you being extremely confused as to how these forms are, and you're not even sure you're filling out the right ones.

- Eventually, you guys figure it out, and he rides your motorcycle.

- Crashes within the first minute or so.

In the relationship.

- Expect your leather jacket to be gone at all times.

- It's literally never there.

- always with him.

- To spite him you take his Pikachu-themed jacket.

- Yeah, it didn't work, he loved you in it.

- You are now stuck with a Pikachu Jacket.

- He probably does have you meet the bakusquad at one point, but it's not a rushed thing.

- You and him on dates = Cheetos for dinner, doing something that's kind of illegal, and waking up in a hotwired car.

- It's perfect, really.

- You both also just get on your motorcycle and drive aimlessly on holidays, live off of motels and junk food, and eventually come back after your time off is over.

- You both never really settle at one place, you're like nomads with a house you only come back to after you all are kinda tired.

- All in all, it's all he imagined.

Todoroki Shoto.

How you met

- Shoto heard of the concept 'rebelling' from mina.

- His naive ass googled it.

- So now, he kinda likes the concept of rebelling, and of the most stereotyped things to do while rebelling, he decides to sneak out of home, go out to a party, and come back home without anyone noticing.

- Hell somebody definitely noticed.

- He tried to climb out of a window and stumbled and fell.

- And you, who are heading out of the said party, see him in leather clothes trying to get out of the house through a window, you decide to...

- Mercilessly laugh at him as you approach him.

- You ask him, "Hey kid, what are you doing?"

- He is offended you thought he was a kid.

- "I am not a kid, Im 19."

- As you focus on his physique it does make sense.

- "Then how the hell do you not know how to sneak out? And you're 19 anyways, why do you need to sneak out?"

- Good job, you just nudged him into an existential crisis.

- He was gonna have one soon, anyways

- Ends with him moving out of the Todoroki house, because hell, he's 19, a decent scoring hero, has money, and did I mention he's 19? - So now Endeavour is confused as shit, because he woke up to his son halfway through a window, IN LEATHER CLOTHES, eyes wide, mouth open staring into nothing while a strange person who he is certain is not a good influence is mercilessly laughing at him and like a week later he moves out to a condo?

- Endeavour is angry and confused as shit now.

- So he naturally just stomps over to Shoto's condo and sees you, the strange person and shoto, sipping on coffee.

- Great, now shoto's drinking coffee. You are definitely a bad influence.

- He says, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY CHILD."

- You reply, "Oh I don't, given him a life?"

- Cue Endeavour screaming his signature, "SHOTOOOOO-"

In the relationship.

- When you both aren't roasting endeavor, you help shoto catch up on the things he missed out on in childhood.

- For instance, you took him to a roller skating rink

- Where he promptly fell down

- Watched frozen with him

- There is now an ice castle in your backyard.

- Took him to a Walmart's

- You were practically swimming in cereal.

- Ok so maybe it isn't going that good-

- But the important thing is he has a lot of fun.

- As for you, he helps you get over your bad habits.

- No cigarettes, chewing tobacco, or literally anything.

- Even energy drinks are banned.

- Besides coffee, coffee is a blessing.

- For dates, you both go to a coffee shop and talk, play board games and then you eventually ditch it to go to a Walmart to pick up clothes.

- Yes, they're dirt cheap where else would you go?

- H&M?? Hell no.

[Sorry I couldn't do Katsuki's, but I may come back later and complete it. Hope you liked it, Anon!]

1306 words,

Skylight Maple

[24hlevi]

Dangerous Lovers

Suguru Niragi (Alice In Borderland) X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff? i don’t really know tbh

Summary: Upon first meeting Y/n, Niragi always had his gun in her face. Now, he points it to anyone who threatens or does something he doesn’t like to Y/n

Word Count:  1.5k

A/N: Italics means flashbacks, i love niragi so im very happy i got this request 💙

gif is not mine !

When you first arrived at The Beach, you still had barely any clue on what was going on. You had played a few of the deadly games but still had no idea what anything meant. So when you stumbled across the large location and being forced inside. Well, it didn’t exactly go very well.

You sat in the chair with your hands tied behind your back with a group of people surrounding you. When the man with long brown hair and sunglasses on cleared his throat, you looked over at him.

“Welcome to The Beach. My name is Hatter.” He said to you. “Now tell me, do you know what this place is?”

You shook your head in response, glancing around at everyone else who was in the room.

“Then I shall explain. This is a safe location where we all contribute to one thing, collecting all of the cards of the deck and helping 1 person go back home.” Hatter explained. “Do you understand the cards and their meanings?”

You shook your head again, “No.”

“Ah.” Hatter nodded. “So here’s how it is then. Spades mean a strength game, Clubs mean a team battle, Diamonds mean wits, and Hearts mean betrayal. The number of the card is the level of difficulty. Quite easy to understand, yes?”

You nodded slowly, “Yes.”

“Good! Now let me see the cards you have.” Hatter held his hand out towards you before realizing you were still tied up. “Oh, that’s right, Hey.” He snapped his fingers and pointed to the man that was leaning up against the wall with a sword in his hands, hood over his head as tattoos ran down his head and face. “Untie her.” Hatter pointed to you.

The male nodded, walking over to you and raising his sword before cutting the rope that held your hands tied together. You looked from the man to Hatter who had his hand out towards you still. You dug into your pants pocket and took out the one card you had which was an 8 of hearts.

Hatter looked at the card and a smile lit upon his face as he looked back at you, “Well, my dear, here’s what you can do. Join us at The Beach and help contribute to collect all the cards, or leave and die very quickly.”

You didn’t respond for a few seconds as you looked around before back at the man standing in front of you. “It seems I don’t have much of a choice so I’ll join, I guess.” You replied.

“Great!” Hatter clapped his hands together. “Before you go, though. There are 3 rules here at The Beach. 1, Always wear a bathing suit. 2, Feel free to live your life exactly as you wish, that included drugs, alcohol. And 3, death to all traitors.” He told you.

Your eyes widened a bit at the last rule he said but you nodded anyway, “Okay.”

“Great! Now someone get her a bathing suit while I get her a room.” Hatter told everyone before walking away and out of the room.

You stood up from the chair and glanced around before stopping once you noticed a raven-haired man with many piercings looking at you, gun over his shoulder. You quickly looked away and started to walk but you didn’t get very far before the male rushed in front of you, putting the tip of the gun right in your face, making you stop abruptly, eyes wide.

“What’s your name, hot stuff?” The man smirked at you.

“Y/n.” You replied quickly.

His smirk remained on his face as he spoke again, “Come with me then, Y/n. I’ll show you a real good time while stuck here.”

“I would accept, but you’re still a stranger.” You responded, continuously looking from him back to the gun that was still pointed at your face.

“Tsh.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes as he clicked the safety off the gun. “I’d chose your words carefully, princess.”

A tall and extremely intimidating bald man walked by you two and he stopped beside Niragi. “Cut her some slack, Niragi. You can’t go around killing our new recruits, especially when she got us a high card for hearts.”

NIragi scoffed again and took his gun away from your face, looking back at you. “I ain’t a stranger anymore, so how about you come with me? But you can’t say no.”

You just nodded in agreement, not wanting to get killed the first day you were there.

A smirk fell back on Niragi’s face as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders, “Let’s go then, princess.”

After that happened, you had grown to develop a liking to the male but not exactly knowing why. But after a few drinks with him one night and long kissing sessions, you two had decided to make it official that you were his and his only. Shortly after that he taught you how to shoot a gun and protect yourself in case anything went wrong and he even convinced Aguni to let you carry a gun with you anywhere you went. Since that, you two had become known as the dangerous lovers from the people at The Beach after Niragi taught you how to also not take shit from anyone and how to get what you want and when you want it.

Now, everyone knew not to mess with either of you, but you especially because they knew the consequences that would happen if they did anything to you that Niragi didn’t like or felt was threatening to you. When you first met Arisu who was extremely sweet to you, Niragi took notice and pointed his gun at the boy.

“The hell do you think you’re trying to do?” Niragi growled, pointing his gun right at Arisu.

Arisu’s eyes widened as he raised his hands up in surrender, “I wasn’t trying to do anything I swear!”

Niragi eyed down the boy and scoffed, rolling his eyes, “Sure. You’re just being ‘nice’ to my girl.” He clicked the safety off the gun.

Arisu’s eyes went even wider as he looked between you and your boyfriend, “I didn’t know, I swear! I just wanted to find out how everything worked here!”

You put your hand on Niragi’ shoulder and he turned his head to look at you. “It’s okay, babe. Besides, I have a feeling we’re going to need him.”

Niragi looked back at Arisu and tossed him a hard glare, taking the gun away from his face and putting it back over his shoulder, “Just know this, kid. She’s mine.”

Arisu nodded quickly, “Got it!” He said before quickly walking off.

You let out a short chuckle while watching Arisu speed walk away and you looked back at Niragi, “Trust me, baby, you won’t ever lose me.”

“Damn right I won’t.” Niragi leaned down and kissed you.

Then there was another time when Chishiya wanted to be an annoying fuck like he is when you were at a game with him and Niragi and he kept helping you with strategies and he even dragged you away from Niragi for a bit of the game.

“Chishiya what the fuck are you doing?” You hissed quietly in a whisper, “Niragi is by himself.”

“That man can take care of himself.” Chishiya responded.

You rolled your eyes at the male before questioning him, “You’re doing this just to piss him off, aren’t you?”

“Obviously.” Chishiya nodded, “It’s funny seeing him get all mad.”

“Fucking hell.” You mumbled to yourself before looking back at him, “You know, I’m not even surprised anymore.”

“You little fuck.” You heard Niragi’s voice from behind you, causing you to turn your head and look at him, seeing he had his gun pointed at Chishiya.

“Ah look, there’s the boyfriend of the year.” Chishiya said sarcastically, raising his hands up in defense.

Niragi glared harshly at the other male and grabbed your hand, pulling towards him, keeping the gun held at Chishiya. “Fuck off from my girl or else your brain will end up scattered on the floor.”

“Whatever you say.” Chishiya said as he walked away from you both. “But we both know Y/n could use a little variety in her men.”

“You little motherfucker!”

You had to admit, you liked it when Niragi got protective over you and would scare the shit out of people, but you knew when to stop him if it was getting too far which it almost never did because everyone would usually back off immediately after seeing the gun up in their face. Plus, it meant that everyone knew you were his, and you both wanted to keep it that way. And you did the whoke time. Sure, there were scary moments when he would lose his head for a couple minutes, but you knew how to deal with it, and Niragi loved that. Knowing that you weren’t scared of him and he could go as far as he wanted and you still wouldn’t be scared of him. He didn’t know the reason why, but he didn’t care much. You two were the couple that no one wanted to fuck with.

A pair of dangerous lovers.

[goc-at-735]

I'm curious, what's the appearances of all the team members, I wanna draw them someday

Bullfrog: Big man. Broad shouldered, bald-headed. Black. Sunglasses never come off. Some people think he has a potbelly, but it's all muscle. Looks like he'd be equally at home wearing a "Kiss the Cook" apron and grilling up homemade kielbasas as he would kicking down a door in full tac gear. Always finds a way to be the guy who gets assigned the biggest gun available. Big smile.

Kitten: You know this meme pic of a tall blonde lady in a Japanese convenience store?

Pretty much this, except with bigger arms. The type of woman who looks like she does Ninja Warrior for fun.

Skunkboy: Ever since he got out of the Corps and didn't need to live up to Marine Corps grooming standards any more, he's let his hair and beard go to shit. Could be mistaken for a homeless guy except he actually washes and dresses fairly well. Black hair, tanned skin, regularly mistaken for middle-eastern or Hispanic. He knows he's neither, but his family history is so freaking bizarre he just thinks of himself as "American." Skinny as hell, slouches all the time, has a tendency to just kind of blend into crowds.

Kitten: Chinese-American woman. Black shoulder-length hair. Easily the shortest member of the team. Probably the most conventionally attractive. Has two styles that she flip-flops through on a regular basis: "on her way to an indie nu-metal band concert," and "heading to the farmer's market to buy herbs and scented candles for the coven meeting tonight." Extensively tattooed: giant tattoo of the Kaballistic Sefirot on her back, Horus Eye on inside left wrist, Elder Sign on inside right wrist, various others. Always has a knife on her.

[yikeswtfmate]

Jenga

previous part // It’s All Fun and Games Series Masterlist // next part

main masterlist

Summary: The gang goes to Tony’s pool party. Y/N finds out that Bucky lost at Jenga.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: swearing; threats of violence

A/N: ok, i’m having so much fun with these that i don’t even care they became an entire series without me even realising it; plus, who cares i’ve already posted 4 parts in a week already????

ironic how i’m writing about a heatwave when we’re literally going through a huge storm rn tho....i miss summer so much 😭

Y/N loves Tony. What she loves most about Tony, however, is his pathological need to throw a party for the most insignificant of reasons. It is no wonder then that he’s now invited all of his closest friends to his penthouse, that has a casually built-in pool, to celebrate the first day of the heatwave that’s supposed to torment New York for the next week.

Making her way out to the patio, idly chatting with Maria about a book they’ve both read, Y/N notices how there’s now a huddle of people right outside the glass doors. She can hear Wanda’s shout of surprise, while Clint doubles over in laughter, Viz just puts a hand over his mouth in shock, but she can’t see anything because Thor and Steve are right in front of what they’re looking at. Tony leans back, enough so he can see Y/N from behind Nat, and wiping away at a corner of his eye under his sunglasses, he calls them over.

“What’s going on?” Maria asks as the others break rank to let them notice it’s Bucky they’ve been judging.

“Aw, babes, I was wondering when you’d get here. I thought Sam’s gotten you hostage or something.” Y/N goes to hug Bucky, but she stops in her tracks when she notices the cap on his head.

There’s complete silence, as every gaze is trained on her, watching her narrow her eyes, a frown deepening between her eyebrows. She senses something is wrong, but she’s too focused on what’s wrong with Bucky to comment on their silly behaviour. He’s completely still, his breathing coming out in short bursts, as if afraid to scare her if he’d make any loud noise or move too fast. He licks his lips while one of her hands slowly grabs his cap and yanks it off.

Her mouth falls open, unhinged from its socket and someone takes the cocktail glass from her hand before it slips from her fingers. The blood drains from Y/N’s face and with an animalistic growl in his direction, she turns around and storms back inside. A door slams somewhere inside the apartment, before Bucky can even shout after her.

“Aw, man, come on! I thought she was gonna lose it!” Sam shouts in disappointment, suddenly breaking the eerie silence.

“Well, it could’ve gone so much worse.” Nat says, taking a swig of her beer. “I was expecting broken glasses and maybe a concussion.”

“Shouldn’t someone go after her?” Pepper asks, tone laced with concern, still looking into the direction Y/N’s disappeared.

“No, don’t worry.” Bucky replies. “She’ll come back out to punch me after she’s processed it.”

He brushes a hand through his hair, trying to get used to the short strands himself. He guesses he could’ve handled it better, maybe given her a warning before she took off the cap, maybe even told her before he’d done it in the first place. But he lost at Jenga, and the rules were set by Sam, which he now realises in hindsight were stupid to begin with. There’s nothing to be done now, he thinks with a shrug. Besides, hair grows back, and if she really hates it that much, he’ll just wear a cap around her until it grows back.

Tony slaps him on the back, congratulating him for not looking like a ‘ratty hobo’ anymore, although he himself concedes that Y/N’s going to kill him eventually and with that, everyone disperses into different directions to entertain themselves and enjoy the sunshine and the pool. Steve’s the only one left next to him, arms crossed in front of his chest, water still dripping from his trunks, and yet he still looks like a disappointed parent. Bucky sighs and moves towards the bar, trying to ignore his best friend who just follows him determinedly.

“I just want to say that for all I appreciate you finally deciding to give that ridiculous bun up, do you really think it was the right choice to do it because you lost at Jenga?”

“Hey!” Sam shouts, right behind them. “Last time I lost I had to wear all my shirts inside out for a week. This is fair. A loser’s a loser and he agreed beforehand.”

“Man, these were so easy on them, give me a break.” Thor’s head pops over the counter of the bar. He hands them each a bottle of beer and as they all sit on the stools, he points his finger towards Steve in warning. “Y/N made me tattoo a smiley face on my butt when she was playing, so be grateful she wasn’t there last night.”

As the conversation falls into the typical subjects like jobs, holidays, and how they can annoy the girls next time, Bucky realises half an hour later that Y/N still hasn’t come out. Just then, Nat places a hand on his shoulder, shifting his attention from the debate on who would win in an arm wrestling match.

“She’s in the last guest room on the right. You better go and talk to her or I’ll rip your eyelashes out.”

Bucky nods, leaving them behind as Clint announces that none of the guys would win because Nat would just beat them all up with her eyes closed. He makes his way through the apartment that feels more like a mansion, until he finds the room, which surprisingly is open.

Y/N is laying on the floor, head turned toward the windows, probably watching the fluffy clouds. There’s no point in him questioning her choice of position, considering there’s a perfectly made, heavenly looking bed a few inches away from her, so Bucky just lies down next to her, right in her line of sight. They look at each other for a few minutes, neither saying a word, and Bucky interlaces their fingers together between them.

“What did I say?” She finally grumbles.

“You say a lot of shit, baby. You’ve gotta be more specific here.”

“Don’t be a smart mouth with me, you little asshole.” Her free hand pokes his ribs, hard enough to make him wince. “What did I say?”

“You said I’m not allowed to ever cut my hair.” He sighs.

“And what did you do?”

“I cut my hair.”

“Why?”

“Because I lost at Jenga.”

Y/N sits up a bit straighter, leaning on her elbow, a frown still on her face. “No. You cut your hair because you’re an asshole. You could’ve agreed to literally anything else.”

“Fine, babe. You’re right.” He concedes. “Now, can you stop being mad at me and come out? The pool is really nice and I can’t chicken fight without my best partner.”

“I’m still mad at you, Barnes!” She pouts, trying in vain to escape Bucky’s arms as they lean on the side of the bed, but he manages to grab her and tuck her under his chin, blocking her with his legs.

“I’ll grow it out again if you really hate it that much.” He whispers with a kiss to her temple.

She looks up at him, her hand yet again going to his hair and she tugs at the strands in her usual manner. The curls bounce back, and she smiles softly. “I don’t hate it. It’s just…that bun was so you. I guess I just have to get used to it.”

“Hey, at least I didn’t shave the beard as well.”

Y/N’s eyes nearly pop out of her head and she punches him in the shoulder, earning her a laugh. “Don’t you fucking dare. I will end you, Barnes.”

“Eh, you’d live.” He shrugs. “You’d love me even bald.”

“Debatable.”

“Wanna bet?”

“Do you really want me to cut your balls and you don’t know how to ask?”

“Why do you insist on being so violent with me?” He asks.

“Because I love you?” She offers with a shrug.

“That’s a good reason.” He concedes. “But it’s not the answer to everything.”

Y/N shrugs again and extracts herself out of Bucky’s arms. She stands up, offering him a hand. He throws an arm over her shoulders, and with their fingers interlaced, they make their way towards the pool again.

“How the fuck did you lose at Jenga anyway?” She pipes up, a flare of anger emerging again. “Didn’t I teach you everything you need to know?”

Bucky just stops in his tracks, and leaning to the side in order to look at her, he frowns. “You’re shit at Jenga. You literally won only once.”

“And it was enough to bestow the best sentence in history!” She declares.

“I don’t know about that. Thor seems to love the tattoo.”

“That fucker. I’m going to so beat him at chicken fighting now.” Y/N yells, nearly dragging Bucky behind her now.

“Ah shit, here we go again.”

***

Taglist:

@imma-new-soul​ | @feelmyroarrrr​​ | @bxrnsfeyson​ | @welostkirsten​ | @free-as-fishes​​ | @jessyballet​ | @fckdeusername​

[taking-over-his-life]

The leather bitch

t was a fantastic summers day. I had ridden down to Kent to be at the bull bikers bash, a hells angel run biking event. I was in my horniest leathers, laced jeans high boots leather shirt and jacket. Sunglasses just tipped the balance I was a horny fucker and knew it.

As the day rolled on I was getting hornier and hornier, some of the men were just out of this world, hot, hairy, dirty bikers, muscled and greasy woof, just what I liked. I followed several but got no where, they all seemed straight.

They were after the bitches here, and some of those were really hot, High thigh high leather boots leather trousers, bras, damn gorgeous, they even made me feel a little hard.  I had followed one guy a good distance through the crowds and had rubbed against him a couple of times, tats, sweat ,leather, hair, woof ,my kind of man. I was disappointed when he met up with this bitch.

She was about 5 8, short black hair, very pretty, dressed to fucking kill, more leather on her than a cow

His dick jumped when he saw her, fuck I wish I could been her for an hour or so as what followed just stunned me. He got down and pulled up her leather skirt and was straight into her cunt, licking like a good one, she was in ecstasy. Then he pulled her towards his dick and rammed it straight in, massaging her tits as he entered deep into her, it was heaven to watch.

He finished and went away, she looked at me, ‘did you like that’? She said, ‘yes’ I said ‘but not the way you think’. I’ bet I know, bum boi’ she said ‘you watched his arse more than mine’.

I blushed, ‘you got it, wish I could have been you for that session’ I said. ‘Now that would be interesting wouldn’t it, you'd have a cunt as well as a hole, huge tits, and lots of men. Saying that id be able to try outa dick, wouldnt mind trying.’ she said. ‘if only’ I said smiling at her taking in every curve.

I went back to her tent with her, It was covered in leather gear, we chatted for ages, and got on real well. Her name was Ann. We talked about possessing each others bodies and what we would do, it was so hot and horny. She let me touch her, all over and it got me going. My dick was hard and she sucked me off. First time for a bitch.

She pulled off her leather boots, 'smell these’ she said, and as I did I was getting horny, she liked it. ‘If you could change bodies would you,’ she said, Im not sure ’I responded ‘but id like to try’. ‘Take this’ she said and gave me a tablet, . ‘Do you want to swap gear, pretend your me and I'm you’, I looked at her standing there in full gear, ‘sure’ I said

She was so curvaceous in her gear, I would love to be her.

She stripped off and passed me her knickers. Her cunt had leaked the guys cum, but I wanted it and put them . they were warm and soft as they pressed against my dick. my dick was solid. Then she took off the suspender belt and stockings and passed them to me, I pulled the belt up so it was around my waist and started to pull on the stockings, They were black fish nets, not easy to manoeuvre, but soft and silky as I pulled them up on my legs and attached them to the belt..

‘I want your body Mr ‘she said ‘whats your name’ I responded ‘ Dave’. ‘Your now Ann’ she said’, I'm Dave’.' Call me Dave' she said  I did

She passed me her leather jeans tight and horny then the stiletto thigh boots, fuck I felt so good. The jeans were tight as I sat down and pulled them on then over my dick. The stilettos were high I pulled them on so the top came to my waist, I tried to stand up, difficult, but they felt hot.

At the same time she was wearing my gear, she took off her lthr jacket and bask then the bra

‘Suck these’, I sucked at her tits, ‘you want them, ’she said.  ‘you bet I do. ’I responded

I put her bra on ,it was warm where her tits had been, soft leather, she tied it for me, ‘here’, she said as she passed me some stuff to fill them

Then she helped with the bask and pulled it tight, I was feeling like her.

I pulled on here arm long leather gloves, and started to feel myself all over

We were dressed as each other. ‘Whats your name’ she asked, ‘I'm Ann’ I said. She was strapping a huge dildo to her waist. ‘On the bed bitch’ she shouted, I did as i was told, balancing to the blow up mattress on the floor of the tent, feeling the strangeness of her gear all over me. The tablet was taking effect and i was so damn horned up by this.

Suddenly my legs were in the air, a back zipper had been opened in my leather jeans, at the dildo she was wearing was entering me. ‘whats it like to be a bitch Mr.’ she said ‘I want your body and life and you will have mine.’

She fucked me deep and hard, and I played along, ‘Dave fuck me deeper’ I cried ‘fuck me hard I'm your bitch’ I screamed as I moaned with delight as the dildo went deeper and deeper into me. I looked at her in my gear the thought of a transfer was incredible. The tablet enhancing it.. I came in her knickers, and she got down and licked them out.

Gradually we both fell to sleep

I woke up about 4 hours later, with the noise of someone moving. As I looked I saw the back of leather clad guy leaving the tent, he was tall and had the same gear as me. Strange I thought. I stood up and was feeling really strange.

As I stood up I noticed I was wearing stocking and suspenders, I must have changed with her, I thought, yes i remember the role play last night. fuck, nice, but as I started to feel them, I felt different, fuck I thought, as I moved my hand to my dick, it was gone and a cunt was there instead, It was warm moist hairy, and it was a cunt, shit!!. I was terrified, what had she done, ‘no, no NO.’ I shouted but it wasn't my voice,  I got a mirror and looked, she had done it, I was her, it was her face, her body she had stolen mine.. Fuck want am I going to do

I was terrified, sweating ad pacing the tent. Looking around it was her gear bitch things. I started breathing slowly to calm down, and I started to feel my new self, huge tits, and boi are the nipples sensitive, huge hips, and a huge cunt as I touched it I tingled.

I stripped off, and lay there feeling and examining. I liked it, I could have that greasy biker now.

I searched around and found a pair of leather knickers and put them on, leather suspender belt and fish net stocking. I found some leather jeans and I had problems getting them on they were so tight, but fuck did they look good, no the thigh high leather stilettos fuck I thought. Can I walk in this.

I found a leather bra and a bask on the went, and boi did they fit well, then long leather gloves .

I needed to get out and get fucked.

Boi did I turn heads as I walked out. There was so much dick I could have, then I saw too black bikers, there dicks were sticking through their leather, woof I thought.

I went over too them and within minutes I was in a wood behind their tent

Their dicks were out and I was on my knees with both of them in my mouth God that was good.

There pre cum run down my chin, there hands caressing my tits, the feeling was unbelievable.

I let there dicks slide out of my mouth and stood up, one a huge guy, shaved head with a moustache pulled me to him and started to kiss me his tongue entered my mouth and caressed me, his hands pulling me too him and holding me firm, the other was stripping off my boots and jeans, licking at my arse and cunt, I was in heaven, then I felt the head of his dick against my arse gently pushing in, the second guy let me go and took out his dick and put it against my cunt, his hands were on my tits.

I pushed against his dick and it started to go in, the second guy entered my arse, his hands were on my nipples, the first guy started kissing me again and his hands were on my arse, Both got into a rhythm and both started to enter deep into me.

This was unreal, the feels just so intense, they started to pound me from both ends as well as deep tongue and nipple play, I just lost myself and got totally into it, deeper and deeper they went, I was totally into this, and didn’t want them to stop. After about 30 mins they bothy came inside of mf pushing so deep and hard I could feel their juices filling me, then they pulled out and we all lay on the ground.

After a few minutes, the bald one started to kiss me again and play with my tits, the other was stretching my legs apart, then I felt his tounge deep inside my cunt, he was licking me out and sucking his m8s cum they were gods .

Then it happened an orgasm, my first female orgasm, I was just lifted to another sphere, it was so so intense, I shuddered and screamed,

The in it was time to go, they handed me my leather knickers and I slid them on, enjoying the feel of the leather against my new cunt and ass hole, my new body and the gear, just turned me on I wanted to cum , but couldn’t, again. they watched me intensely. Then the leather bra, over my sensitive tits, fuck they were huge, the nipples sore and very sensitive after the session, then the jeans nice and tight, the boots, and the jacket and gloves, I was sex on legs and was looking for more.

Both kissed me and rubbed my cunt and arse and off I went.

I went to a tent with a bar. As I walked in the wolf whistles started. I got to the bar and this hairy muscled tattooed god, offered me a drink. Whisky and soda. I knocked it back and we began to talk. He passed me an e. I took it more whisky, and he wanted to dance . I got up and strutted my stuff. He was rubbing his erect dick against my pussy, and I liked it.

He got hold of me and led me outside. ‘I want to fuck you so much’, he said. ‘Me too, I want you in me’ I said. We went to his tent at the far end of the camp. By this time I was out of my head, he carried me part way, and I just looked up at him, fuck me I said

He stunk of oil, leather and sweat, his nazi metal helmet, cut of studded waistcoat and jacket, muscles and hair. My cunt was seeping, I was tounging him as he laid me down.

His head just moved and he started to lick at my leather crotch, I placed both gloved hands on the back of his head and pushed his head in.. he started to lick through the leather, while at the same time, massaging my tits,

I could feel his dick growing as his crotch was on my leg so I started moving about to stimulate it. I wanted him in me.

He got up on his knees, and started to pull my thigh high boots off me, one at a time,

Smiling at me with such a filthy smile he unzipped my jeans and gently pulled them off me, inside I was bursting . he got on top of me and started to tounge me, deep and penetrating. His leather covered dick pushing at my wet hot cunt.

He sat up and took out some quaffs, lit up and passed one too me, I took a drag. ‘They are strong babe’, he said, 'he stronger the better' I said, ‘I'm sure that cock of yours is thick and long, I may need this to survive,’ I smiled, he lifted his eyebrows, ‘then lets see’

He unzipped his dick and it emerged from the leather a good 12 ins and really thick. It was like a telegraph pole and I wanted it

I pulled him down on me and started to feel his hairy chest I want you in mw I said

He puled down my damp leather knickers and pointed his dick to my cunt, I grabbed hold of his arse and pulled, he started to enter me. Deeper and deeper, it was so good he was filling every inch of me.

In seconds we were both but naked and he was hammering me. Drugs flowed and two other bitched came in, I was fighting for his attention and didn’t like. It then 4 guys, and fuck was of them was Dave, my old self, fuck Ann you look hot he said

He was on me in seconds in a dark corner of the tent. You enjoying this, yes I said, I am too, having a dick is great, I wan t to fuck you rigid, please I said.

Soon I saw my own face and body feeling my own dick. I'm not giving this back Ann, you will when u tire, no never this is mine, I'm Dave, I started speak and he covered my mouth and forced an e in me, rest Ann, enjoy your new life, he forced his dick deep into me.

[psychovigilantewrites]

Chapter 7 - Queasy

Pairing: Jason Todd/Reader

Word count: 11,285

Trigger warning: this chapter contains sexual content, violence, gore, and mentions of torture. 

A/N: I’m so sorry for the wait, guys! This is my longest chapter yet, and I’ve really put my all into it. Thank you for all the kind words of encouragement! It really helped me get through my bad days. 

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

One would assume that the docks would smell like the sea.

Wrong.

It smelt like shit. Literally.

A lot of Gotham’s sewage ended up in the sea , and trash that wasn’t from the sewage ended up there as well. Gothamites liked to pollute, and it made the docks smell.

But if you held your breath and closed your eyes, it still sounded like the sea.

The crashing waves, the sound of the breeze ruffling your hair, the rapid gunfire-

Oh right.

You were in the middle of crashing Red Hood’s illegal shipment party.

Dodging a rain of bullets, you hopped across some shipment crates towards a group of hired guns to incapacitate them with a flying kick. You hit the large muscly man- who was wearing sunglasses at night, for some reason- flat in the chest with one leg. With your other, you kicked aside the weapon in his hand, which flew straight into his partner’s head, making him stumble backwards.

Taking the two of them down, and looking back at the other eight unconscious bodies behind you that you had dealt with in under two minutes, you took a deep breath and smiled to yourself for you excellent work, before running off to where Bruce was.

Bruce had went on ahead to confirm the shipment and catch Red Hood, well, red handed, while you covered his back and deal with security.

You ran past the crates and metal containers that created a maze.

“Robin,” you heard Batman’s breathless voice in your ear, “Shipment is confirmed, call GCPD.”

“Okay, I’m coming your way,” you replied.

You dialled GCPD on your phone.

“Suspected terrorist attack at Dixon Docks.”

You hung up. Terrorist attacks always made the police rush more.

Finally, you heard the sound of gunshots get louder and you turned a corner to see Batman’s looming dark figure in a direct fight with Red Hood.

“Where’s Robin, B? Got bored of her already? Throw her away like the two before her?” Red Hood jabbed, dodging a punch from Batman.

All Batman did was growl and never stopped attacking.

“When are you going to tell her that she’s disposable? It’s not good to keep stringing women along, you know?” he poked, “Especially those you call your children.”

Batman succeeded in tripping him, making Red Hood stumble backwards for just a second. A shout distracted you from the fight, making your head snap in the direction of Moehler barking at his workers to hurry with loading wooden crates onto the back of a truck a few feet away.

You ran past Batman and Red Hood and towards the two men who were loading the last crate.

“Ah, there she is!” you heard Red Hood chuckle.

You were almost there, you needed to stop them before they could drive off with the weapons. Suddenly, you felt something grip your ankle, making you trip forward.

It was as if you were falling in slow motion, the ground slowly approaching your face. The next millisecond you heard a loud bang, and felt a sharp pain at your right earlobe.

As you broke your fall as to not hit your face, you realized that the thing around your ankle was Red Hood’s grappling hook, wound tightly to stop you from approaching your goal.

Struggling to get up, you felt a wave of disappointment crash onto you when you heard the sound of the truck’s engine start, and the tyres screech as it hurried to drive away. Before it could escape your view, you threw a tracking device you had attached to the armor of your uniform at the truck, which you saw suddenly bounce away as Red Hood shot it out of reach of the truck from behind you.

He ran from Batman’s attacks and towards the port, jumping onto a speedboat, and the two of you silently watched as he gave you the middle finger, while Moehler drove the speedboat away.

You untangled yourself from the wire around your leg and stood up, watching his figure get smaller and smaller into the darkness. That fucker actually gave you the middle finger. You could scoff at how juvenile it was if it weren’t for the fact that you were blaming yourself for letting the truck get away.

“You’re bleeding,” Batman’s gravelly voice made you jump.

You touched your right ear, and winced. You were sure a bullet had grazed it when Red Hood tripped you earlier.

“Huh,” you stared at the blood on your fingers, “I didn’t even notice.”

“You called Gordon?”

“Anonymous tip to GCPD,” you informed.

“Terrorist attack?”

“How did you know?” you smirked.

“You’re predictable.”

“Ouch,” you faked, “Someone’s in a bad mood.”

You glanced at him, earning yourself a scowl.

“It was like he knew my moves,” Batman suddenly expressed, “Like he’s familiar with me.”

“Sounded like he’s also familiar with my predecessors too,” you added.

Batman stayed silent.

“On top of the fact that he’s very familiar with my uniform,” you continued, “He seemed to know the moment I reached for my shoulder that I was going to throw a tracker at the truck and shot it out of the way. Not to mention that signal button a while back too.”

More silence.

“And the fact that he knows we’re your children,” you pointed out, “Which means that you have to assume he knows all our identities.”

A clenched jaw.

“Do you know who he is?” you narrowed your eyes at him.

Nothing.

“I trust you to know which information you tell me- or don’t tell me- is beneficial to me or harmful,” you lectured him in frustration, “Which means I’m not going to go digging around. So you better tell me when you figure things out. Trust goes both ways, Batman.”

“I’ll deal with the police.”

Sure enough, you heard the sirens slowly approaching. You glanced again at the dark sea, illuminated poorly by the distant city lights and the hidden moon, wondering who was under the red helmet, and what he meant by ‘disposable’.

***

Jason fired one loud bullet into the ground, breaking the chaotic commotion that came with unloading the crates in one of Moehler’s warehouse turned into base operations. He watched down at them from a raised platform, the two dozen or so hired by Moehler stopped what they were doing and turned to him, along with Moehler and some of his associates- mainly relatives.

“How many did we manage to get?” Jason asked.

“All of them, Red Hood,” a tall brute with distasteful face tattoos answered smugly.

“But just barely,” Jason snapped.

Jason felt the mood subtly shift. They knew why he was mad, and now, he could smell their fear.

“Can anyone tell me how Batman knew?” he calmly asked.

Everyone was avoiding eye contact with him, looking either at each other or their own feet.

“When I find out you know how this information got leaked, and trust me, I will find out, I will come after you and your family,” he simply shrugged, “So someone better step up and confess. Right. Now.”

Jason waited for 3 seconds, and then-

“It was Dave,” a bald brute stepped closer to him, the head of Moehler’s security detail, “We heard that he got arrested last week. It must have been him.”

“One of your own got arrested, and knowing that our meeting could have been compromised, you decided to keep quiet?” Jason articulated.

The man gulped, “We- we didn’t know for sure.”

“Didn’t know for sure?” Jason started chuckling softly, before pointing his gun at the man, “Tell me why I shouldn’t gun you down for your incompetence. Or are you still unsure?”

“His wife called and told me she hadn’t heard from him in three days,” his eyes now wide and pleading, “Only yesterday we confirmed that he had been arrested, but that’s about it. Our inside man said that the arrest report said he was arrested for public urination. We didn’t think much of it then.”

Jason thought for a split second, deciding whether or not to kill him.

No, it wasn’t a strategic move. The story sounded genuine, and if he killed too many people without actual cause, everyone would start to hate him and could want to start a coup. He needed to be specific about his rules.

He put down his gun and started chuckling, earning a sigh of relief from the man before him. He gripped the mans shoulder and squeezed hard- showing both friendliness and threat.

“Fine, we all make mistakes, right?” Jason laughed.

“Y-yeah,” he stuttered, “Sorry, boss.”

“Just be sure not to overlook things like this again,” Jason warned and gave him a hard pat on the back, “Now, I have another issue to address.”

The relief of the room just now was turned into tension again.

“Who was the brave man who shot at Robin to stop her from getting to the trucks?” Jason asked, “I have a reward for him! A token of courage, if you will.”

“It was me, boss,” the same man with the inked face answered proudly.

“Oh, it was you, huh?” Jason grit, “What’s your name again?”

“Snake, sir.”

“Snake?” he burst out laughing, “Okay, okay. What are you waiting for, Snake? Get up here!”

Snake strutted to Jason’s side, smirking all the way. Jason put an arm over his shoulder.

He saw that some of the others were already shaking their heads at their colleague’s ignorance.

“So Snake,” he started, “You were really brave tonight. You know why?”

“Because I tried to stop Robin?” he answered.

“Yes,” Jason agreed, “In fact, you shot at her, am I right?”

“Yeah, I did,” he grinned.

“Even when I specifically ordered everyone not to?” Jason asked softly.

Snake tensed.

“If I remember correctly,” Jason announced to his audience, “I said that anyone who tries to kill or harm Robin without my orders will be severely punished, didn’t I?”

Silence.

“DIDN’T I?!” he bellowed.

A mumble of “Yes’s” and “Yeah’s” were heard.

“Thank you,” he said sarcastically, “Now, my fellow associates, what should I do with our buddy Snake here?”

No one dared answer him.

It didn’t matter. Jason already knew what he had to do.

“Oh, right,” he pretended to remember, “I was going to give you a token of my appreciation.”

BANG. BANG.

A loud wail came from Snake. He fell to the ground and started crying and screaming. Jason could hardly blame him. He did just shoot both his kneecaps.

“What do you say to daddy, Snake?” Jason stepped on one of his knees, “Daddy gave you a gift, didn’t he?”

“F-FUCK YOU!”

Jason shot at his elbow, making him scream even louder. “Manners!”

“T-thank y-you,” Snake gasped in between sobs.

“Didn’t quite catch that.”

“Thank y-”

BANG.

Jason gave him a gift right between his eyes.

Whenever Jason killed, he didn’t feel better or worse. Killing was just part of the job, just merely strategic for him.

But killing the guy who almost killed you if it wasn’t for the fact that he pulled you down and made you trip using the grappling hook he had?

He felt better.

He took a deep breath.

“Whoever defies my direct order again, will get worse than this fucker!” he yelled, “No one touches Robin but me. Even if it means you get taken down, you don’t. Shoot. At. Her. GOT IT?!”

“Yes, sir!”

“Good. Now someone clean this up,” he nudged the body with his foot, “Before the shit comes out.”

The part he hated most about killing and disposing of bodies was when the muscles relax and he has to deal with shit and urine that comes out. Not everyone will shit and urinate themselves when they die- it depends on whether they were holding it in to begin with- but when it doeshappen, it’s disgusting.

And Snake looks like he’s just full of shit. Whatever. He’s glad he has people to do the dirty job for him now.

“Moehler,” he growled, “I need to speak to you.”

Jason hopped off the platform and walked straight to the straw haired American-German man.

“Where are we with Black Mask?” he asked.

Roman Sionis. He was one of the defiant ones who refused to work together with Red Hood. Black Mask used to own all these gangs; Moehler’s, Ibenescus’- and Jason had snatched them from underneath his nose.

He wasn’t happy about it.

“Still putting out hits on you,” he gruffly stated, “And also taking down my men.”

“Why haven’t you dealt with him yet?” Jason hissed through the voice scramble of his helmet.

“He’s got a whole armory, boss,” Moehler complained, “And many men who are still loyal to him.”

“They’re not loyal, they’re afraid,” Jason corrected, “I’ll deal with him.”

“Let me know if you need help,” Moehler added.

Jason had already picked out what he wanted beforehand, as per agreement with Moehler, and all he has to do is bring it back with him to his safehouse. The rest of the weapons were to be sold to various gangs or anyone who was interested, and he would take 40 percent profits, as per agreement with Moehler.

Besides Batman’s interference that night, everything was going smoothly. Yet, he was stressed.

He needed to blow off steam.

Ah, right. It was time to enter phase 2 of his plan.

***

You fell on the comfort of your bed, and looked at the time. It was nearly three in the morning. You stretched like a cat, relieving your body from the aches and pains. You had already showered and refreshed yourself, along with slapping a bandaid on your grazed ear. It wasn’t too deep.

You checked your phone, and saw that Sexy Hunk From Library had left you a text about half an hour ago.

Sexy Hunk From Library: You up?

You grinned.

You: Yes! Hi. Sexy Hunk From Library: Hello. I thought you were already asleep. You: Nope. Just on Netflix. As usual. Sexy Hunk From Library: Let’s get on video.

Your heart raced at his directness. Before this he would ask you politely, or played coy with you. But now he wasn’t asking you if you wanted to get on video, he told you to.

And you liked it.

You took the initiative and dialled him first.

“Hey,” you heard his warm, yet tired voice first before you got the video feed and saw him lying on his bed.

Shirtless.

You gulped.

“Hey, you,” you smiled. You were sitting upright, your knees brought to your chest as you leaned against your propped up pillows.

“You hurt yourself again?” you saw him frown. His room was dark, and his face illuminated by the light from his phone.

“Oh, this?” you automatically touched your ear pinna where the bandaid was, “Yeah, I made an impulsive and stupid decision to pierce my cartilage at a really dodgy looking shop, now that I think about it. It got infected.”

For some reason, Jason thought it was funny, because he burst into a laughing fit.

“I-I’m sorry,” he choked, “Stupid decision indeed.”

“Hey!” you giggled, “Like you’ve never made a stupid decision in your entire life.”

“You caught me,” he conceded.

“Well, what was it? What’s the most stupid thing you have done in your entire life?” you demanded.

“Hmm,” you saw him bite his lower lip as he thought about it. You licked yours. “Well, I’ve done many stupid things. One of them is not going to that library sooner. I could have gotten to know you way beforehand.”

You blushed. “You know, I’ve never actually asked you what your age was.”

“My age?” he laughed, “Why? Do I look old?”

“No, no,” you quickly denied, “I’m just curious.”

“Guess how old I am.”

“Twenty-four?” you guessed.

“Woah, back up a few years,” he shook his head.

“Twenty-two?” you tried again.

“Close,” he nodded, “I’m twenty-one this year.”

“Argh, so close!” you said.

“How about you, princess?”

“I’m eighteen this year,” you told him.

“Phewh!” he gave an exaggerated sigh of relief, “Thank God for that.”

“Why?” you giggled, “Any specific reason why you would be relieved that I’ll be legal this year?”

“Of course,” he answered as a matter-of-factly, “There are so many reasons why I would be relieved.”

“Like?” you prompted.

“Like, I want to get into your pants?” he said bluntly, causing you to laugh out loud.

“Very direct, Jason,” you chuckled, “No sugar-coating at all.”

“Why would I?” he raised an eyebrow, “You should already know that I like you. You’re smart, beautiful, funny, not to mention hella clumsy.”

“Clumsy?” you shrilled.

“Yeah, I mean, for some reason you always get injuries. That cut on your forehead, now the infected ear,” he listed down, “I'm pretty sure if I got to know you longer I'd have more to add.”

“And that's a turn on for you?” you skeptically asked.

“No, but it makes for good entertainment,” he grinned, “But in all seriousness, you’re amazing.”

“Thank you,” you blushed, “You’re not too bad yourself. But actually…”

“What?”

“The legal age of consent for sex in Gotham is seventeen,” you stated, “So you shouldn’t have had to worry too much. Unless you thought that I was younger than that.”

“Huh. Didn’t know that,” he responded, “And hold up. There’s no way I would have thought you were younger than that. You’re too… developed.”

“Developed?” you laughed, “Interesting choice of words.”

“What can I say?” his expression changed, his voice lower, “I’ve stared more than I should.”

Oh, you were really blushing this time.

Not to mention the heat that shot down between your legs.

“Naughty,” you teased, “Unfortunately for me, all you wear are baggy hoodies so I can’t exactly stare back.”

“Hmm,” he hesitated for a while, and then raised his phone up high, so it could capture the rest of his shirtless upper body.

You tried to keep your reaction cool, because even in the dim light, you could see his ripped body. His pecs looked hard, and his abs- you wanted to lick them.

Your favourite part was the V that cut into his pants, teasing what was underneath.

“So what do you think?” he winked.

“Uhm,” you gulped, “Very nice.”

“Very descriptive,” he chuckled, and then brought his phone back down, “Your turn, sweetheart.”

“My turn?” you panicked.

You weren’t exactly wearing the sexiest choice of pyjamas. It Dick’s old and faded Superman t-shirt with shorts.

“Yeah, your turn,” he pressed, “I wanna see what you wear to bed.”

“O-okay,” you answered.

Slut. Your mother was back.

You straightened your knees and gave Jason a view of your upper body.

“Nice t-shirt,” he said stiffly. You thought you saw his jaw clench. “Superman fan?”

“It’s my brother’s. I’m more of a Batman and Robin fan,” you answered, smiling to yourself at the inside joke.

“I can see your nipples,” he pointed out.

Your eyes widen. Right, you weren't wearing your bra, so he would have been able to see them poking through the soft cotton. You brought your phone back closer to you.

“Aw, don’t be shy,” he smiled devilishly, “I think it’s hot.”

“I think you’re hot,” you blurted.

Whore.

“Very direct, angel,” he mocked your previous choice of words, “Oh yeah. Remember last week I said I had a dream about you?”

Oh, you remembered very well. “Uh-huh.”

“Well,” he began, “Wanna know what it was about?”

“I do, actually,” you bit your lip, “I was curious. Especially after you said that you were… finishing it.”

“It’s inappropriate,” he reminded you.

“I know.”

“Which means it was sexual,” he stated.

“It’s okay.”

“Well, we were at the library,” he started without hesitation, “At the bookshelves. I had you against one of them, and you were in my arms.”

“What were we doing?” you prompted.

“I had my tongue in your mouth,” he smirked, “And I was touching you.”

You were rubbing your thighs together, and you realised you were breathing slightly faster.

“Where?” you pressed on.

“Your tits,” his voice was now husky, “Your hair. Everywhere.”

“Oh.”

“Want me to go on?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, your free hand secretly cupping your sex underneath your shorts.

This was all new to you. Very new. You have wanted this so bad. You wanted to be naughty and inappropriate with boys you found attractive, but mother always stopped you.

It was too late for mother to stop you now.

“You were grinding against my dick,” he went on, “It felt really good.”

“I bet,” you grinned.

“Princess, are you really trying to be smart with me while I’m talking dirty to you?” he reprimanded lightly.

“It depends,” you shrugged.

“On what?”

“Whether or not you have your other hand down your pants like I do,” you boldly stated.

Jason really had the power to completely take off your mask, making you expose your true self to him. The one you had so desperately tried to hide from your parents, your peers, your family. Maybe it was the fact that he was basically a complete stranger that you could just cut off after. Maybe it was the fact that he didn’t know you enough to judge you.

Whatever the reason was, it made you more confident, which evidently caught Jason off guard because of his current shocked expression.

Which turned into a much darker, and sinister one.

“Caught me,” he gave a side smile, “I’m really hard right now. Been hard after I saw your nipples.”

You let a finger between your pussy lips and felt that you were soaking.

“Oh,” you raised your eyebrows.

“What?”

“I’m wet,” you grinned at him.

“Fuck,” he breathed, “Do you wanna like, you know?”

“Wanna what?” you teased.

“Wanna touch yourself with me,” he continued, “You don’t have to show me anything. Just, let yourself loose.”

You pondered for a while.

The masked you would never ever do anything of this sort. But you figured that there was no harm in letting your mask slip completely from time to time if it wasn’t hurting anyone.

Besides, you’ve always wanted to do this.

You leaned back completely on the propped pillows, the camera on your phone only framing your head and your upper chest. You took off your shorts and spread your legs, brushing against your clit with a finger.

You moaned softly.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he concluded excitedly. You saw that he was moving, busy with something using his other hand which was out of frame.

“Are you taking off your pants, Jason?” you asked.

“Yep,” he simply replied, “Aand, there. My dick is now free from its confinement.”

You giggled, now looking at him. His camera also framed his face and upper chest. His eyes were closed and you could see the corners of his lips slightly upturned.

He let out a short yet deep moan.

You bit your lip and started circling your clit.

“So, where was I?” he opened his eyes, “Oh, right. You were grinding on my dick. And, you were even begging me.”

“Begging you?” you sighed in pleasure.

“Y-yeah,” he confirmed, “You were begging me to hurry up and fuck you.”

His voice was sensual. The way his words rolled off his tongue was smooth like butter. You loved it when he said the F word. It sounded sexy.

“And did you?” you desperately asked.

“Not yet,” he told you, “No, I wanted to tease you more, so I just started finger fucking you-”

“Oh,” you sighed.

For some reason, you remembered when Red Hood stuck out his middle finger at you earlier. You imagined that very same long, thick finger inserting itself into your pussy. You tried to shove that thought away.

“Are you the loud type or the quiet type, Princess?”

“I’m not too sure,” you admitted, “I was never in any situation where I needed to be quiet or loud.”

“Means that we just have to find out, huh?” he teased.

“Yeah,” you nodded, “Yeah, i’d like that.”

There was a moment of silence where the both of you were just enjoying the pleasure you were giving yourselves, looking at each others expressions on screen and listening to the heavy pants of each others laboured breathing.

“What happened next?” you prompted.

“Your begging was too much to handle, so I started fucking you,” he continued, “You were loud.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. In fact, even if you're the quiet type, I don't think you'll be able to stay quiet if I'm the one fucking you, sweetheart,” he said.

“Mmm,” you hummed, lost in the fantasy of Red Hood fucking you hard until you screamed.

Jason. You meant Jason.

“I was- mmm- I was super stressed out today,” he explained, eyes closed. You could see one shoulder and the top of his bicep making small movements, probably stroking his cock.

You wanted to see his cock so bad.

“What happened?” you breathed.

“Long story,” he grunted, “A colleague annoyed me. I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

You understood, and also made a mental reminder to ask Jason what he was working as while waiting to apply for the police force.

“Then what- what do you want to talk about, Jason?” you asked, pleasure slowly building up, heat spreading from your core to the rest of you.

You’ve never been that turned on in your entire life. Granted, you never put yourself in any situations that would have aroused you. You’ve never seen porn.

But you knew that at that moment in time, you were horny as hell.

“I want to talk about how perfect I think your tits would look like,” he said, “If they were bouncing in front of me right now while you ride me.”

You moaned loudly at his words. He was good at dirty talk. You liked it very much.

You wondered if Red Hood liked your tits, since he got to grope them quite a bit.

“You sound sexy,” he commented.

“So do you,” you replied, “Fuck, Jason. I’m so horny.”

“Me too, princess. Me too,” he agreed, “I really want to fuck you.”

His eyes were hooded, looking at you through his own screen. You saw that his arm movements were getting faster.

“I want to lick your cock,” you said, before laughing to yourself.

“What’s so funny?” he asked, a smile appearing on his lips.

“I never thought I’d actually say that to someone,” you confessed.

“There's always a first for everything, angel,” he jested, “Hmm, now you've put the mental image of me fucking your mouth in my head.”

“And how does that image look?”

“Looks like I can come to that image alone.”

“Mmm, I think I’m getting close.”

You started speeding up, feeling all your juices leak and spread onto the whole of your pussy.

“I want to hear you come,” he groaned, and picked up the pace and force. You knew, because you heard a sound coming from Jason’s end.

A wet, slapping sound.

“Jason, your dick sounds are really hot,” you panted.

“Your expressions are really hot,” he responded, “Also your moans.”

“Mmm, Jason,” you breathed, “I think I’m-”

You felt a tightening in your core as you sped up your rhythm, your eyes closed shut and your mouth open in a silent scream. You built and built and built until-

“Fuck! Red!” you cried as you felt your pussy flutter and you reached your peak.

“Shit, fuck- ah!” he gasped. You opened your eyes immediately to see him with an almost angry frown and biting his lip too hard.

You felt your clit tingle when you saw him in that expression.

He opened his eyes and let out a long sigh.

“That felt good,” he panted.

“Yeah,” you giggled.

“Red?” he asked, looking amused.

“What?” you asked, confused.

“When you came, you said- well, moaned- Red,” he pointed out.

“Did I?” you panicked. You really didn't have any control over yourself when you were at that state of ecstasy. “You must have misheard me. Why would I moan a colour?”

“You tell me,” he smirked, a twinkle in his eye.

“I really don't know what to say,” you denied.

What the fuck? You moaned Red, as in Red Hood?

“I guess random things slip out when people come. It's fine. But I’d like to do that again, baby girl,” he smiled sleepily at you.

Baby girl.

“Me too, but, uhm,” you mumbled, “Please don’t call me that? Everything else is fine.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he hurriedly apologised, “I didn’t realise-”

“No, it’s fine,” you shook your head, “It’s just that- this guy I really despise likes to call me that. If you call me that, you’ll remind me of him.”

“I get it,” he frowned, “Why don’t you tell him to stop?”

“He won’t listen,” you almost laughed at the prospect of Red Hood apologising for calling you that.

“Who is he?”

“Some jackass I ran into and for some reason won’t leave me alone,” you rolled your eyes.

“That sounds serious,” he pointed out, “Is he a stalker? Why don’t you go to the police?”

You snorted.

“What?”

“Uh, sorry,” you mentally slapped yourself, “I mean, I don’t think the police can do anything about this guy.”

“Why, is he like the president or something?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Or something,” you revealed vaguely.

Jason looked genuinely concerned about your safety. You found that so sweet. You might actually consider a long term relationship with him.

“Well if you see him when we’re out together, tell me, because I’ll beat him up for you,” he assured you.

You thought about what would happen if Jason and Red Hood got into a fight and resisted chuckling to yourself.

“Of course. I won’t even stop you,” you humoured him.

“Good,” he yawned.

“You should go to bed,” you yawned back.

“Mmkay,” he mumbled, eyes drooping, “I’ll text you in the morning, okay?”

“Okay,” you acknowledged.

“Goodnight, princess. Sweet dreams.”

“Goodnight, handsome,” you winked, and ended the call.

You sighed and lied down, staring at the ceiling.

It was definitely a different feeling, doing it with another person over video call. Jason had a way with words, making your experience even more intensefully heightened.

You enjoyed yourself a lot, but after ending the call with him and rethinking about everything, you suddenly felt a wave of guilt crash over you.

Because you just whored yourself out, you pathetic bitch!

There she was again.

You wondered if you could ever get rid of her.

You buried your face in your pillow and tried your best to ignore the haunting voice of your mother in your head.

You felt guilty for thinking of Red Hood too. This would have been the second time you orgasmed to him. And you’ve only orgasmed twice anyway, which meant that you’ve orgasmed to him every single time you masturbated, which meant that you couldn’t orgasm to anyone else besides Red Hood, which meant that-

You groaned.

You didn’t want to overthink your obvious sexual attraction to Red Hood, because how could you ever face him and fight him again the next time you see him?

***

Jason chuckled to himself as he cleaned the cum from his abdomen.

He thought that you were hotter, sexier than he ever imagined you to be. Phase 2 of his plan was going way too easy. You were already thinking about him.

You were thinking about Red Hood when you came.

It was too easy.

He shook his head and laughed. He guessed that Batman never taught you how to resist seduction.

He chuckled again before closing his eyes.

Too easy.

***

You gagged.

You felt bile rising from the back of your throat, your stomach feeling queasy and uneasy, as if your stomach acids were full and overflowing. Like if you were to do a handstand that very moment, all your stomach juices would come out down your oesophagus.

“Robin, don’t look away,” Batman asserted next to you, “Don’t be queasy.”

You took a deep breath- wait, bad idea. It smelled like blood.

You gulped and willed yourself to look at the three decapitated heads that were pierced by 3 pikes, spearing through the cut off neck, blood slowly dripping down the wooden stick.

The spears were driven into the wooden panels of the bar floor in a row, the warm dim light only barely illuminating the scene before you. All were male, all were brunettes. One was staring blankly at you, his pompadour messy, while the other two had their eyes shut in an expression of grimace.

At least you were at a bar on a Saturday night.

“If you look away, you’ll miss things,” Batman explained to you.

Batman had tapped into the GCPD radio feed like he did so many times before, and someone had called 911, describing an armed man with a red helmet had started to attack some people at Black Bass Bar in the East End, on Murphy Avenue. The both of you were patrolling The Bowery when Batman heard the call.

Despite rushing to the location much faster than the police department, Red Hood was already gone, leaving an empty bar with shattered glass all over the floor and three heads on pikes, their bodies dumped in the far right corner of the room.

Each body were missing every single finger except the middle.

Now that you looked at the heads, you couldn’t stop. You felt an eerie pull towards them, an unsettling feeling of anxiety settling at the pit of your stomach.

It was different from the mauling the Ibenescus faced at the club. Indeed, the mauling was more gruesome and the thought had disturbed you quite a bit, but you figured the adrenaline rush that Red Hood had incited that day due to the fight had prevented you from fully taking in and processing what had happened.

Because as of now, the room was empty and quiet. You weren’t in a hurry, and you were forced to take in everything.

It felt like the first time you’ve ever seen a dead body. You didn’t know why you were afraid of a cold empty shell, yet you couldn’t stop looking.

You couldn’t believe that you were justifying Red Hood’s actions. You couldn’t believe that you were sexually attracted to him. This served as a reminder as who he was-

A sick, depraved human being.

You closed your eyes at an empty attempt to try to forget the image, but it was too late. It was already seared in your mind.

What did these people do to deserve such a cruel, undignified death-

“Hmm,” Batman hummed, making you open your eyes, “Red Hood must still have trouble with the human trafficking ring.”

“What?” you frowned.

“Alexandru and Elias Ibenescu,” Batman pointed to the two heads from the right, “And Jarick Bucinschi.”

Right, you could see it now.

Alexandru and Elias Ibenescu were cousins of the main 4 brothers that lead the human trafficking ring- the ones who were mauled. Jarick Bucinschi was a Slav who married into the Ibenescu family and joined the ring.

You had read it all in the case file when the Ibenescus’ got murdered just over a week ago. You were too preoccupied with being disturbed by the heads to recognize their faces.

From what you read in their files, these people kidnapped women and children to sell them off to disgusting people to be prostituted or harvested for organs.

You didn’t feel sorry for them anymore.

But that didn’t make the scene before you any less gruesome.

There was blood smeared all over the floor, and some footprints all leading out, already oxidizing and turning into a shade of dark brown.

“I wonder why they’re so insistent,” you voiced out, walking towards the bodies in the corner, “The others submitted to Red Hood just fine.”

Batman was bending down and looking at the heads where the neck were cut off, the sounds of police sirens from outside getting close.

“Not everyone,” Batman answered, “It’s only been a week since Red Hood showed his dominance on the underground. These people and their families have been controlling their rings for decades. They wouldn’t submit so easily.”

“So who else?”

“Black Mask, officially. What’s left of the Ibenescu ring was supposed to submit too, but like Gordon said before, it was a massive operation with several people the Patru Frati appointed to directly work under them. The cousins must have thought that now the leaders were gone, they would be the next in line to take over,” Batman deduced.

Patru Frati. The direct translation of ‘Four Brothers’ in Romanian.

“So what is this, a statement? A warning of sorts?” you guessed.

“It seems so,” Batman straightened up and walked towards where you were, observing the headless bodies, “Hmm.”

“What is it?”

“Tell me what happened here,” he asked.

A test.

“He sliced off their heads pretty cleanly,” you pointed out, “He’s skilled with a sword, most probably a katana.”

“What else?”

“Obviously the middle finger he’s trying to show us again,” you grumbled, referring to the amputated fingers, “I don’t know if he cut them off post-mortem or not.”

“Yes, there’s too much blood from the decapitation,” Batman agreed.

“How much do you want to bet that he did it while they were still alive, that fucking psycho,” you muttered.

“What can you tell from the amputation?” Batman pressed.

“That he’s mocking you, just like how he was at the docks,” you concluded.

“Jesus Christ,” a tired sigh came from behind the two of you.

You turned to see Gordon grimace, not unlike the expressions on the heads.

He looked at you, and then to Batman with concern, “You sure she’s not too young to see these things, Batman?”

“I’m fi-” you started.

“She can handle anything I can,” he replied sternly.

That made your heart swell.

He looked at Batman through judgemental eyes, and then proceeded to walk over to the bodies.

After a few moments, he chuckled, “How old is this guy?”

Batman gave him a glare.

Gordon shrugged, “Just an observation.”

The forensics walked in, and immediately scowled when they saw the two of you. They were never big fans of Batman and Robin, because the two of you would arrive at locations first and “contaminated the crime scene”.

You smirked, your nerves slowly calming down the more people arrived. It made the atmosphere less eerie.

Because the truth was, you weren’t fine. You thought that Gotham could throw anything at you, and you would be able to stomach it.

You were wrong.

“I trust you have the files on these three,” Batman told Gordon.

“Yeah,” Gordon nodded, “These three were always able to get away without getting charged. I almost gave up at one point. I don’t want to say good riddance, but… well…”

“We’re done here,” Batman stated, and you started to follow behind him as he proceeded to walk out.

“Wait,” the commissioner stopped him, “You should know that there’s a gang war brewing, according to my informant.”

“As expected,” Batman acknowledged, and walked out.

***

“Did he really need to take all that time and effort to make such a statement?” your voice echoed in the Cave.

Bruce had taken out his cowl and was sitting at his large computer table, logging the events of that night. You were standing next to him, leaning against the table with a mug of hot chocolate in your still gloved hands.

“I mean,” you continued, “Isn’t killing them already enough of a warning?”

“You have to understand that these criminals kill on almost a daily basis,” Bruce explained without taking his eyes off the screen, “Dead bodies are part of the job. They’re desensitized to death.”

“So in order to strike fear, he has to do more than just kill,” you pieced everything together, “He has to make it look painful and... degrading.”

“Exactly,” Bruce paused typing and turned to look at you in the eye, “You did well today. Are you okay?”

“I can handle whatever you can handle,” you grinned, repeating his own words.

“Good,” he praised, “Things will only get worse. You will see worse things.”

“More so than people getting mauled by robot dogs and decapitation?” you rolled your eyes.

“Lazlo Valentin is still in Arkham,” Batman reminded you, raising an eyebrow.

He was right. You never had a Professor Pyg case before. From what you’ve read about him, you thanked your lucky stars.

“Yeah,” you admitted, “And let’s hope he stays there.”

“Indeed,” he agreed, “However, it is perfectly normal for these things to keep you up at night. Will you tell me when it does?”

“I will,” you promised.

You tossed and turned that night.

You didn’t want to close your eyes, because you didn’t want to see the scene again. But it wasn’t any different from staring in your dark room.

You were afraid to fall asleep, because you had just woken up from a nightmare. The heads again. This time staring at you with all of their eyes wide open, the glassy emptiness of their expression somehow pulling you in closer.

You couldn’t stop looking at those eyes.

The overwhelming sense of anxiety of dread drowned you, and you woke up, sweating despite the cold temperature.

“Fuck,” you groaned, and squinted at the sudden bright light of your phone when you looked at the time. It was already 5 in the morning, the sun would be up in less than two hours.

Thank God it was a Sunday.

When you finally managed to fall asleep, you slept in late. It was already midday when you woke up and went down for breakfast. Bruce gave you a break from training that day, because he somehow knew that you had trouble sleeping.

That was fine, you had another mission that day.

Your mission was to get over your fear of mutilated bodies.

So you sat yourself in front of your laptop on your study desk. You would have tried going to Gotham Public Library- a replacement for the one you lost- if it wasn’t for the sensitive nature of your research.

You first went through Bruce’s files on the more gruesome cases in Gotham. He wrote very detailed description of the cases, along with pictures he snapped from the camera in his cowl. You were glad you weren’t around when some of these criminals were active.

Most of them were in Arkham Asylum. The Joker, Lazlo Valentin, Victor Zsaz. After Jason Todd died, Bruce made sure they would never get the taste of freedom ever again- unless rehabilitated.

We’ll see how long that lasts. They always find a way to escape.

So the crime in Gotham were now dominated by gangsters. They were harder to charge, because they were slick and rich. Filthy rich.

They could bribe the judge, the jury, the officers- anyone. And they had the money to hire the best lawyers, and somehow also get rid of incriminating evidence.

Hence, the heavier crimes you saw when you started as Robin were gang related.

You wondered for a second how Jason Todd dealt with the surplus of mentally insane criminals. He’d probably know a thing or two about brutal deaths.

You caught yourself chuckling, and then felt immediately bad.

Your phone buzzed.

Thinking of ex-Robins, Dick was calling you.

“Hey,” you answered.

“Hey, sis! You busy?” his warm voice comforted you.

“Nah, I’m just going over some old case files,” you told him, “What’s up?”

“Can’t I call to just ask you how you’re doing?”

“You already called last week,” your voice leaked suspicion.

“I can’t call you again?” he asked sarcastically.

“Bruce put you up to this,” you stated.

He paused. And then-

“Yeah,” he confessed, “He was worried about you after… After last night.”

“I’m fine, Dick,” you sighed.

“Well, if you’re not then you can talk to me,” he offered.

“Actually, yeah,” you agreed, “How did you deal with it? Did it affect you?”

“The gore?” he started, “Of course it did. It was scary. I remember when I saw my first dead body. Kept me up for days.”

“Yeah, it did for me as well,” you admitted, “But then I just got… used to it, you know? But then this asshole comes and starts mutilating people. I mean, the occasional amputated limb or decapitated head is one thing, but he arranged them on spikes!”

“Yeah, must have been a spectacle,” he said, “But, really, I know these things are part of the job and all, but it affects everyone. You shouldn’t pretend that you’re fine when you’re not. Talking to someone about it really helps.”

“Well, I’m talking to you aren’t I?” you teased.

“I guess you are,” your brother chuckled.

“So how did you get over it?” you inquired.

“Well,” he began, “It really affected me, that’s for one. I always had trouble waking up for school the next day because of the nightmares, and well, thoughts. The darkness and silence really gets to you.”

“I know what you mean,” you agreed.

“And really, I talked to people about it,” he explained, “People who knew what I was going through. And after a while, it became easier to think that you’re not the only one affected by it. Anyone normal would be.”

“And did it ever go away? The fear?”

“Eventually, it did. I kept on thinking that it doesn’t get worse than whatever that was I saw then, but oh trust me, it kept on getting worse. To the point where I just… Treated it like another case to solve,” he told you.

“So you’re telling me to just expect the worst?” you scoffed.

“It doesn’t sound like much, but it helps you deal with it in the mean time. When you expect something so horrible, but it ends up being not so bad as what you imagined,” he continued, “You’ll be relieved to see just a decapitated head.”

A moment of comfortable silence fell between the two of you as you took everything in.

“Hey, Dick?” you tried, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“How did, uh, he deal with it?” you winced to yourself. You didn’t like bringing up Jason Todd because of how it affected everyone around you, which was why you never really brought him up to begin with.

You heard a long sigh.

“He came to me as well,” Dick reminisced, “He used to call me up in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep. It was almost every night. He was sensitive- for a while. And then he gradually called less and less when he learned how to deal with it himself. He got braver and more confident. He was a smart kid too. Hardworking. I bet he probably did some weird cognitive therapy on himself to get over his fears. Wouldn’t be surprising.”

You felt a sudden spark of jealousy when you heard Dick talk about your predecessor in such a tone. You wondered if you were better than Jason Todd.

That was an issue you never really figured out how to solve.

Your constant competition with a phantom of the past.

“I’ll have to look for that cognitive therapy then,” you lightened the mood, “Thank you for calling, Dick. Talking to you helped.”

“No problem, kid,” he assure you, “Call me if you need to talk, okay?”

“Okay.”

After that, you moved on from Bruce’s case files to documentaries and articles, some of them making you cry as you read them.

Because the reading material you had on the Murder of Junko Furuta was only the Wikipedia page- and it was enough to make you choke back tears. You couldn’t finish reading the article.

You wondered if you could ever be desensitized to these things. You wondered if you actually wanted to be. But what Dick said earlier resonated in you. Anyone normal would be affected by it.

Because it must take a heartless, soulless person to not blink an eye to such brutalities.

But you couldn’t stop looking for more.

And somewhere along the way, you started watching videos.

The deep web was a scary place. The highest level of the deep web was full of depravity, the epitome of human wickedness.

And the scariest thing? The internet we normal people surf on a daily basis, the ones that pop up on search engines, makes up only 4% of web content. The other 96% of the digital universe is on the deep web- the stuff you can’t just Google.

Sifting through movie pirating websites and file sharing users with questionable content, you ended up watching leaked videos of beheadings and drug cartel torture.

After a couple hours, you found yourself able to handle the disturbing images better. You were more intrigued rather than scared.

You felt better.

But that was because you were sitting on a chair, in the comfort of your own room. No smell of blood, no dim lights and eerie silence.

Now you found yourself wanting to be tested again, hating the fact that by doing so, you were basically anticipating another brutal murder by Red Hood, just to prove to yourself that you had succeeded your own personal mission.

***

There was a sort of an annoying buzz in the air.

Like a mosquito that wouldn’t stop bothering you.

You felt restless.

It had already been more than a week since The Black Bass Bar, and it was Tuesday morning, and you were in class, and you were looking out the window, shaking your knee. You felt like your joints were aching, like right before you got a cold. The last two days had been uneventful, even during patrol.

No sign of Red Hood whatsoever. No gang related crimes.

It was like the underworld was holding its breath.

Maybe even Red Hood needed his break from time to time.

That night you went on patrol like you always did during a weekday. You were split from Batman- on your own motorbike- but not too far away from each other. You were currently in Chinatown, zooming past little alleyways to find a perfect place to park.

It was around 11pm, yet the area was still bustling with life. The red lanterns that hung above you contributed little to the illumination of the town, because the brightness came from many chinese stalls and restaurants that were open, full of merry people drinking their beer at the array of large round outdoor tables that occupied half the street.

As you appreciated the smell of seafood and bak kut teh that wafted through the air, overpowering the usual smell of pollution, you suddenly heard a loud explosion coming from the direction you were heading to.

You somehow knew who you were going to meet that night.

Finally, you thought.

You were getting bored.

You wanted to see him. He got you excited.

But in a curious way.

The past week that you were researching criminal behavior and also brutal murders, you got intrigued by his philosophy, and you wanted to know more about how he thinks.

You weren’t scared of him anymore.

“Robin,” you heard Batman’s voice in your ear, as expected, “Wait for me.”

“But I’m five minutes away, Batman,” you argued, “I think it’s at that warehouse complex. I’ll circle to the loading bay.”

“Do not proceed without me, Robin,” Batman growled.

“But by the time you reach here, he’ll get away,” you frustratedly reasoned.

“You don’t know who it is,” Batman hissed.

“But-”

“That’s an order,” he commanded, “Stay-”

You pressed the button in your ear, and click, he was gone.

“To hell with your orders,” you muttered to yourself and drove high speed to the loading bay of the warehouse, the lights of the town dimming behind you and a new orange light came slowly into view.

The warehouse was old, but not run down. It was a complex that consisted of 6 blocks, and a large loading bay for trucks. Two blocks were ablaze, fire licking the wooden crates you could see from the opened metal doors.

And there was Red Hood, who just threw in a grenade at a third opened door, and walked away from the explosion calmly towards his large, black superbike.

You drove your bike to a halt right in front of his.

You expected him to get on the defense, to take out his guns, to try to escape- anything. But he just leaned against his bike with his arms crossed, like he was expecting you.

You ignored the way his biceps flexed underneath his leather jacket.

“Where’s the old man?” his scrambled voice reached your ears.

“On the way,” you got off your bike and got into a defensive position, keeping your distance from him.

“Hmm,” he simply said, cocking his head to the side like a curious cat.

“Who’s warehouse is this?” you asked.

You knew he wouldn’t do things without a reason.

“Black Mask,” he shrugged simply, “His main armory.”

“Why did you kill the Ibenescus?” you straightforwardly asked.

“They’re filth who refuse to work with me,” he simply answered.

“Why did you do it in such a violent way?” you inquired.

“As a message to others,” he replied without hesitation.

“You tortured them alive,” you pointed out.

“So?” he scoffed, “They deserve much worse for what they do. You have no idea what they put innocent people through.”

You frowned in deep thought.

“What’s your end goal?” you demanded.

“Controlled crime,” he answered.

You didn’t have time to think about his answer then, or ask him more. Batman would be there any second.

“I’m going to have to stop you now,” you told him.

“Oh, baby girl,” he drawled, “You can try.”

You attacked him in a low sweep kick, which he easily avoided by jumping, but the moment he was midair, you quickly got back on your feet and tackled him into his bike, causing it to fall over.

Before you could stand, he had one hand around your neck, restricting your airflow.

He landed a punch at your stomach, making you want to vomit. He then used his grip on you to throw you on the ground. You felt a hard blow at your ribs when he kicked you, making you cough.

He stood over you as you scrambled to get on your feet.

He kicked you again, and you gasped as the air escaped out of you forcefully through his blows.

You felt his abnormal strength from his grips and kicks. Every time you tried to stand, he would kick you on the side.

“I don’t enjoy this,” his static voice started, “Stand down.”

You struggled to roll over on your stomach to get on all fours. You secretly reached for the R shuriken on your left breast, hiding it from his view, and then turned around in a flash, throwing it at him.

The bastard saw it coming, and he dodged it. During the one moment of distraction, you shot up on your feet and attempted to punch him. He caught your fists with a hand, and lifted his other fist.

You waited for the blow to your face.

But it never came. His fists were still in the air, aiming at your head, yet it never landed. You took his moment of hesitation to throw an undercut.

You felt a small crack in his helmet when the blow connected with your gauntlet covered knuckles.

You grinned, pleased with yourself as you watched him stumble backwards, tripping over his own bike.

Even though he was wearing the stupid helmet, you felt him glare at you. His right arm reached for something, and then you were blinded by a white light.

You hissed and closed your eyes, cursing at yourself for not looking away sooner before he threw the flashbang.

You heard the sound of an engine starting, and you stumbled forward in your blind daze.

When you finally regained your eyesight, the first thing your eyes saw was a disgruntled Batman with his arms crossed, looming over you.

Judging from the slight downturned corner of his tightly closed lips, he was practically fuming.

“I almost had him,” you winced, as you felt the pain from the blows you took now that your adrenaline rush was over.

He remained silent.

“He would have gotten away and we wouldn’t have known who it was that did this,” you tried to justify.

Without breaking eye contact with you, Batman pointed to a CCTV that was very much still active.

“I still think I made the right decision,” you shrugged.

“You disobeyed a direct order,” he fumed.

“I acted how I saw fit,” you argued, “You always say to follow your instincts-”

“Not if your instincts contradict my orders,” he retorted.

“Wow,” you scoffed, “Just- wow.”

He didn’t say anything.

“Well, since I’m sure you’re going to dismiss me for tonight, I’ll be heading back now,” you walked to your bike, grimacing at the pain the whole way.

“Robin,” Batman called before you could drive away, “Have Alfred check your injuries.”

You paused.

“Okay.”

*** “Take a deep breath and hold it,” you heard Alfred’s voice coming from the speakers in the small X-Ray room in the very far end of the cave.

You winced and did as you were told. You heard a beep, and then breathed normally again.

You walked out the room in a thin cotton robe and sat on a medical examination bed in the centre of the cave.

“Well, no broken ribs or fractures,” Alfred came out, holding the X-Ray image of your thorax, “Thankfully, your injuries are merely superficial.”

“Good,” you huffed, “Still hurts, though.”

“Yes, bruises tend to hurt,” he agreed, “Any other injuries I should know of? Your head, in particular.”

“No, no head injuries,” you shook your head. He specifically did not give you any head injuries.

“Very well, then. You are good to go,” Alfred dismissed you.

By the time you were ready for bed, it was half past midnight.

You admittedly felt bad for arguing with Bruce the way you did earlier. You rarely ever disobeyed him- but when you did, you would lie in bed for hours feeling guilty.

After all, he took you in, raised you, trained you, made you who you were. And you were forever grateful for that.

But sometimes he was just so frustrating.

It was either his way or the highway. But you guessed that’s the deal with most parents.

You sighed to yourself. You needed a distraction. You’ve been feeling anxious and restless the past few days.

You called Jason.

“Hello?” he answered, his voice slightly breathless.

“Hey, it’s me,” you greeted him, “Are you busy?”

“Nah, I’m good,” he said.

“Would you like to hang out tomorrow after I finish school?” you asked, “I was thinking Robinson Park.”

“Really?” he blurted, “You’re feeling okay?”

You were taken aback.

“Of course I am,” you replied, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I just thought that you were busy on school days, that’s all,” he chuckled.

“I’ve got nothing on tomorrow,” you explained, “I just feel like winding down for a bit. Take a stroll, eat ice cream.”

“Okay, then. See you at Robinson Park at…?”

“I finish at three, so I’ll be there around three twenty?” you told him.

“Awesome! I’ll see you tomorrow at three, princess.”

“See you, Jason.”

*** The weather was nice, considering that it was Gotham. You got lucky that it wasn’t all too gloomy that day, and there were actually birds chirping about.

You were sitting on a bench at Robinson Park in a tank top and shorts- you took the time to change before you came- watching as joggers passed by and kids chased their dogs. Suddenly, you had an ice cream cone pushed up in front of your face.

You looked up and saw Jason grinning, holding the cone.

“I didn’t know what flavor you liked, so I just got this one. If you don’t like it I can go back and buy another-”

“No, no,” you insisted, taking the cone from him, “I’m fine with this. Thank you.”

He sat down next to you. He was wearing a tight light grey shirt that stretched marvelously across his chest. It was the first time you saw him wear something that showed you what he actually looked like underneath.

His biceps reminded you of Red Hood’s flexed-

No, stop it. What was wrong with you?

“So,” he began, “What’s up with the…”

He gestured to your knuckles, which were taped and bandaged. You had cuts and bruises that needed to be bandaged on your knuckles, due to Red Hood’s hard helmet.

“Oh, I do MMA,” you answered smoothly, a lie that you had perfected over the years, “It’s funny, actually. I sometimes show up to school with bruises on my shoulders, or a black eye- stuff so bad that makeup couldn’t even cover it. Everyone thought my dad was abusing me.”

You let out a well practiced chuckle.

“So you not only get injured over glass doors, but you also let yourself voluntarily get beaten up?” he laughed.

“It’s a sport, okay!” you giggled, “I’m not too bad at it.”

“I’m not too bad at fighting, myself,” he grinned, and then licked his ice cream.

You forced yourself to not stare at his wet lips.

“You know martial arts?” you exclaimed, “Wait, what am I talking about? Of course you do. You’re planning to join the force.”

“Well, yes,” he said, “But I bet you’re better.”

“Are you kidding me? Look at the size of you!” you blurted.

“And there you go talking about my size again,” he feigned a hurt sigh.

“Oh, please,” you playfully slapped his arm, “Oh, I saw a meme this morning that reminded me of you- wait, let me show you.”

“Meme?” he asked.

You looked at him weird.

“Yeah?” you said slowly, “Don’t you know what a meme is?”

He blinked at you.

“Oh my god,” you gasped, “Have you been living under a rock all these years? Where were you in 2010?”

You saw him frown slightly, and clench his jaw.

You immediately felt bad.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” you started.

“No, it’s fine,” he said, “It’s just that I’m not really on the internet much. No Myspace, or whatever.”

“Myspace?” you giggled, “Myspace is dead, Jason. It’s all Instagram now.”

“Well, let’s just say that living under a rock is quite an accurate statement you made,” he chuckled, yet no humour was in his eyes.

You tried to decipher the joke, but failed.

“Hey, wanna fight?” he changed the subject.

“Sorry?”

“I mean, spar,” he smirked, “It would be fun.”

You paused for awhile, thinking of your injuries. They were minor and usually you would be on patrol the day right after a light beating as well, so you figured why not.

“It’s on!” you stood up and gobbled up your ice cream, “Let’s find a nice spot.”

The two of you followed the park’s path, and settled on a flat area of soft grass a few metres down.

“I’m gonna have to touch you places, princess,” he warned, “You okay with that?”

“Oh, you can touch me anywhere you want,” you winked back at him.

His expression changed from excitement to a darker glint in his eye.

You got into your usual defensive position. You figured you were just going to go easy on him.

You went in for a right hook, which he dodged easily. And then a jab. He dodged again. You weren’t really aiming to hit him, as it was just a sparring session.

You kinda just want to tackle him to the ground.

So you went in for a low sweep, which he surprisingly avoided too. You frowned, thinking he was much better than you thought he was.

“I thought you said you weren’t too bad?” he gave you a smug look.

You narrowed your eyes at him, and then an idea popped into your head.

You wanted to just tackle him to the ground? So that’s what you did.

You ran head first in his direction, body bent low just like a football player, and tackled him to the ground.

He landed with an “Oof” on his back, but before you could even think of your next step, he had his hand around your neck and flung you off of him.

You laid on your back, letting the wet grass seep into your clothes, wide eyes and in shock.

“Oh, shit. Are you okay? I’m so sor-” Jason approached you to help you up, but you reflexively backed away from him.

It was illogical of you to back away from him, especially since he didn’t hurt you, but that move he made, it seemed too familiar.

“Fuck, princess,” Jason panicked, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. You just caught me off guard and it was like a reflex. I swear, I didn’t mean to.”

You looked up at Jason’s wide, blue eyes. He was slightly sweaty, and his lips were apart, breathing heavily. He looked kind and concerned. You shook your head and laughed to yourself at your own ridiculousness.

There was no way your Jason could be Red Hood.

“It’s fine,” you chuckled, “I wasn’t expecting that move, that’s all. Come on, help me up.”

You held out your hand, and he pulled you up.

“Could you help brush off the grass from my back, please?” you asked politely.

“Yeah, sure,” he nodded and then proceeded to do as you asked. He didn’t even hesitate to brush off the grass off your butt. After he was done, he gave it a small slap, and grinned cheekily.

“Naughty,” you eyed him, smiling.

The two of you continued walking on the path, deciding silently not to continue sparring. You bickered and joked for around half an hour, before you needed to go back.

“I had a good time, Jason. Thank you, I needed this,” you said.

“No problem. You can call me anytime,” he suddenly hesitated and avoided your eye, “And uh, I’m sorry about just now. I really didn’t mean to.”

“I told you, it’s fine,” you dismissed.

“No, it’s not fine,” he grabbed your hands and stood in front of you, close.

So close, you could feel the warmth of his breath on your face and count the little white scars that littered his skin here and there, even some freckles, and you could see how long and thick his eyelashes were.

“I’m really, truly sorry,” he whispered, lifting your chin up, “I would never ever hurt you, okay?”

“Okay,” you breathed, consumed by his closeness and the icy blue of his eyes.

“I’m not a creep,” he chuckled lightly, “So you can trust me.”

“Okay,” you repeated.

“You’re really pretty close up,” he laughed nervously.

You hadn’t realised that the two of you were inching closer and closer together, until you felt his lips brush against yours lightly, as if he was asking you if it was okay.

You crashed your lips against his, eliciting a small gasp of surprise from him. He tasted like vanilla and strawberries- from the ice cream he had before.

The kiss was short and sweet- as you were in a public area. You broke it off and blushed.

“So, uh,” he panted, “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah,” you sighed back, “I’ll see you around.”

Once you were out of his view, you squealed to yourself as you rejoiced at your first kiss.

[crowshapedvoid]

Image ID: a digital drawing of the Gaang from avatar. They are pictured by the thighs and up. The background is white. From left to right the characters are Toph, Sokka, Zuko, Katara, and Aang. The Gaang are all dressed in modern clothing. Toph is wearing high waisted green pants and a white shirt that says “Melon Lord” on it. Over this is a long multi green coat with a white pattern on it. The sleeves are long and have big openings for the hands. Toph is wearing a black choker. She has a green headband and her hair is up in the same style as the show. She’s smirking. Her hands are in the pockets of her coat and her body is angled forward and slightly to the right. Sokka is a white turtleneck and brown pants. He is wearing a grey coat. His hair is the same as seasons one and two of the show. He has sunglasses pushed up over his head. His body is angled to the left but he’s looking to the right. He is behind Toph so some parts of him, including his right hand, aren’t visible. His left hand is similar to the Arthur fist, but a little looser. He is smiling. Zuko is wearing a maroon shirt and brown pants. He is wearing an open white collared shirt over his maroon shirt. His right hand is holding onto a brown strap, implying that he’s wearing some sort of backpack or bag. His left arms is by his side and his left hand is partially cut off by the bottom of the image. His hair is the end of season 3 shaggy look. His body is angled to the left and he is standing slightly behind Sokka. His expression is content and he is looking to the right. Katara is wearing a white turtleneck that cuts off above her stomach so some of it is visible. She is wearing high waisted green pants. Her mother’s necklace is not a chocker and instead the carved part is on a string to the carved part hangs above her chest. Her hair down but tied back. She is wearing a jean jacket. The sleeves are rolled up so the end above her elbows. She has a bag and her right hand is mostly out of view, seemingly hanging on to the bag. Her left arm is bent at the elbow so her forearm is mostly horizontal but angled downward in front of her. Her body is angled to the right and she is smiling and looking to the left. She is smiling and standing slightly in front of Zuko. Aang is wearing an orange hoodie with the hood up. A little bit of his white shirt underneath the hoodie is visible. He is wearing brown pants. There is a yellow line down his sleeve mimicking his airbending tattoos. He is still bald and has his Airbending tattoos. His body is angled to the left but he’s looking towards the viewer and smiling. His arms are out to his side like he’s trying to balance on a skateboard. His right hand is blocked by Katara but he is mostly standing in front of her. Next to Toph’s right arm is the artist’s watermark. It is a star next to the artist’s name, Ikimaru, in all caps. End Image ID.

got around doing some modern atla at last! 👌

[succulentsstars]

Deleted/Unlisted Video notes

So a few months ago, I came across a list of some unlisted and deleted D+P videos and decided that for my own personal interest as well as some others’ perhaps, I might take some notes. Though I initially tried to keep my personal opinion out, I️ eventually gave in So if you’re interested- here it is! Unlisted/Blocked Video Notes Phil- 79 Dan- 36 3 videos a day average 23 a week AT LEAST 2005 38 uses for a cushtie Feb 7 P- 18 D-13 • Never uploaded to YouTube • Mother in kitchen • Hedgehog and lion (not the) on bed • Buffy cutout • Cream corner couch • In childhood home • Unknown ‘girlfriend’ • Dad at computer • W/ four friends. Guy and three girls. • Girl w/ pixie cut • Girl with eyeliner • White Calvin Kline underwear • Girl w/ eyeliner again • Turtle? • Guitar red • Another unknown girl • Another unknown girl • Unknown guy • At some sort of pool? 2006 Awaiting the Tide Feb ?? P-19 D-14 • First vid uploaded? • Beach setting • Black hair/short/spiked • Plays Micheal • Mellisa • Louise • Argue over Phil • Terrible acting • “Sorry girls I’ve chosen Daniel” • Licks horse?kangroo? (Donkey) • Blue walls/living room? • Blue carpet • In Phil’s childhood home living room • April Harper • Victoria Maclean The game- a short horror film set in future March 12 P-19 D-14 • Described in Tatinof • Hair getting longer • In Phil’s uni room • Picture wall • Kill bill above Phil’s bed • Lesbian couple • White Levi’s shirt • Door has bathroom like handle • Rooms numbered • Door to left of entry hall, then switch back staircase • They all come out of this door, maybe this was Phil’s room? • Other door on left between Phil’s door and staircase • Shower labels • Shower room separate from sink (to left) • Downstairs door? • At least three levels • Sink on second level across from stairs to right is shower • Two doors? To right of shower on wall • Three girls and four boys? (Including Phil) • Entry hall has at least two doors on left and at least one on right • Third level- two doors on left • Door across from stairs leads to bath (room) and closet? • First door on left third floor is bedroom • Kitchen is on first floor opens up to other area with lots of doors? Concrete floor • Fiona Sheldon- one of two lesbian couple, dark brown, long dark brown hair, brown eyes? • Pete tannion. Thin glasses, slight under chin beard. Thick eyebrows. Light brunet • Cat Lofthouse. Little bigger, shoulder length mid brunette hair • Rob Davies. Mid brown hair, half bowel ish hair, thick ish glasses • Tessa Blake. Other lesbian. Short dark brunette hair • Andy Day. Played killer. Really spikey hair brunette. • Andy helped Phil write it My first videos Aug 13 P- 19 D-15 • Complication • Someone taking shots? • Kitchen • Four girls in their house living room- big tv, white flap curtains, dark green walls? • Two walking outside by fence • Unidentifiable song • Other room w/ computer in corner • Karrina and Phil • Pool • Mum/ family at Grand Canyon • Australia • Martyn! • More shots • Australia • Kangaroo • Laughing with Ella in house bedroom Kerrina visits my House Sept 21 P- 19 D-15 • In Phil’s childhood home • Orange Jacket • Black hair getting longer • Starts in oranger and yellow striped room with multicoloured bedspread • Fancy glass and wood front door • Grey car out front • Kerrina dirty blonde with over shoulder length hair • Yellow armchairs in living room (2) facing tv • Yellow couch to left, facing wall • Blue pool table behead a chair • Phil can juggle (sorta) • Playing bubble bobble • Phil bossy with game • Jeremy Kile show • Old phone flip phone • Finding ringtone • It’s a lion • HUGE backyard? • Fenced in by orange wall? • FUCKING PALM TREES ON RIGHT • stone walkways in fountain?? • Door covered in pictures • American flag on ceiling • Looking out at backyard from room • Window across from door Strange Dreams (Episodes 1-5) 18 Nov P-19 D-15 • ‘The mystery lion’ • Rapid voices • Almost bald? Guy in glasses/ black winter clothes • Phil has long hair • In green shirt • Steve the giraffe • In Phil’s childhood home • In bedroom • Buffy stickers in door • ‘The journey’ • Phil in hoodie • Room change • ‘Wake up’ • In bathroom • Wooden door • Old camera • Coming up stairs into hall • Into multicoloured bed room • Ian? • ‘Dreaming’ • ‘Man from future’ • Glass room W/ houseplants plants • Me and Anja Test My Camera Dec 27 P-19 D-15 • Phil likely visiting family on Christmas vacation • Filmed Christmas Day • Hair not nit to shoulder • Bw striped shirt+ black jacket • Hold wall • Anja- hair lot like Phil’s- Black, fringed • Window from Pinof! (Crappy church window) • Camel • Definitely in Phil’s house • In hall • Simon the camel • Photo with door to left of window in hall • Pressable screen?!? Omg! • Weather in 1242 haha • “Very welcome...Phil and Anja are going to shout happy Christmas now” “child” omg Phil’s mum calling him child I love her • To Alex • Barking at you? • Bye • Going to play board game now, rapido 2007 Car Journey to Leeds Feb 4 P-20 D-15 • New Year’s Eve • Dark hair, styled shorter • Mark is driving • Dark b hair, bowel ish cut • Raining • Emily is back left- shoulder length straight platinum blonde, somewhat round face • Victoria is back right- wavy brown hair thicker eyebrows. From awaiting the Tide videos • “Hello Philip” • Emily Resolutions “eat less crap do more exercise get with less dickheads” • Mark- “your grandchildren are going to see that Emily” • Phil says Emily and Victoria going to kiss • At midnight • Now! • No • We’ll have you having sex on the back of the ** in no time • Mark roar like a lion • Emily’s going to kiss Phil • YESS! • Wait no I’m going to change that • Phil in green tee shirt • They do little kiss • Highest motorway in world • Yesterday is calling me Big Ben strikes 12 Mar 1 P- 20 D-15 • In front of Big Ben on corner of road going towards it and road going past it • In London • It’s 12 • Slightly longer hair • White shirt with black stripes on sleeves • Freind with glasses who looks like mr sersion • Ian? • Maybe Pete Tannion his roommate? Awaiting the Tide 2 Mar 1 P-20 D-15 • Michael- Phil • In yellow diagonal stripe tee • Hair covering neck • Melissa and Louise • Episode two return to the beach • Pans over flower bed • In orange stripe room • Palm tree • Has sunglasses folded in shirt neck • Singing along to perfect day? • Outside house? • In glass greenhouse thing • Tv in there • Redish wood house • No it’s Phil’s fence • Filmed at Phil’s house • Louise has dog grey? Biggish lion, turtle?, and rabbit? Stuffed animals • Wearing old reindeer antlers Phil had on facebook profile • Sitting with Melissa in living room? With dark wooden doors? And green couches and curtains • Hold hands and skip • Fancy place with hill overlook, pillar like fence, Roman • At top of Phil’s yard- upward hill to right • Old lady? His grandma? • Care home?? • Room with yellow bed sheets • Fake gun • In yellow sitting room- not Phil’s house? • “I care about Micheal so much but now he’s with Daniel” lol • Haha terrible acting • To be continued • April Harper • Victoria Maclean- went to Leeds • • Phil’s Video Blog- 18th March 2007 Mar 18 P-20 D-15 • Hair almost brownish? Maybe camera • Green green hoodie • I’m back at home now • Thanks for all the giraffe names • Cuts to pic with Phil and giraffe (at uni) • Prize is amazing • His pet goldfish Nemo- covered in black splotches • Laying in tank • People kept saying it’s going to snow • Just a bit of snowflakes • Have to get on plane on Tuesday • Anxious • Sick of winter weather • Going to Florida • Mother’s Day • 1 year since first vlog • Lol bad editting • Haven’t changed much • Videos too long • Gets animal- lion • Grandma visited- shows her • Welsh in her head- doesn’t know it • V old • Gives thumbs up 10/10 grandma • Martyn visits • In glass room • VC? What it means • It snows!!! • Grandma there next day • Wow pics of subscribers • Have a great waster • • Florida One- Intro and Gatorland Apr 7 P-20 D-15 • Brownish hair • Down to neck • L blue shirt • Arrived in Florida- at house • V white • Shows street • Looks like typical neighborhood but nice and with palm trees • Shows house • Not one in 2017- only one floor • White Mini Cooper??? • Ian has come on holiday with us • Short short brown hair, thin glasses • Lake behind house • Mum and Dad! • At Gatorland • At squirrel paths • The sun is too hot Florida Two- More Gatorland Apr 8 P-20 D-15 • Same day • “Yes!” With Mom • Shows Dad and Mom lots • Steve Jenny Sarah susa • Feeds llama • Ian scared • At show Florida Three- Horror Movie Trailer Apr 8 P-20 D-15 • New day • Phil in Forrest green tee • We’re going exploring • In cap, Gatorland? • Orange yellow sunglasses • With Ian • Only? • Wading through Forrest and falling • ‘The trees have ears’ • “Probably gonna die out here” Florida Four-Old town, hair dye, strange dream Apr 9 P-20 D-15 • Old town is amusement park • Ferris wheel opening shot • Sky dive? • Red truck parade? • Hula dancer • At gift shop • Someone thrown from bull ride • Ride like wimpy kid movie • Rocky on tv • Pointing camera in mirror • Yellow tee with Florida • Baseball cap • Ian walks in- dared to dye his hair blonde • Black and white filter-blogs about dream • Checks himself out in camera hello • In my garden having picnic- room was glowing, ran over my video camera (he’s vlogging with) started to melt ran over- room started shaking big flash of light “oh god I’m going to die” then woke up in strange room got dragged out by man and Phil had red tattoo on arm. Man told him to get in line getting scanned green or red- shooting red people. Phil got green- he’s troop leader, got star. Blackness out window. In lecture room “welcome to new age of humanity” realest dream • Wants to go back • Sounds like Dan lol • Ian is ginger-y • Phil put in text it was ginger • Little giggle Alligator eats raccoon Apr 10 P-20 D-15 • Unlisted • Same yellow shirt? • Brownish long hair • Alligator in our garden- Liam • Jumped out of lake and ripped raccoon in half • Birds watching • In Florida House • Alligator flinging raccoon • Probably unlisted for violence Florida Five- Disney Mouse Ears April 10 P-20 D-15 • First shot in car • Orange tee shirt • Making faces • Drive through Disney gate • “Disney World” • Zooms on Ian • Walking to Epcot with parents and Ian in front of him • Orange shirt says dp haha my emotions • “I’ve put on this orange T-shirt to distract people from Ian’s hair” aww he’s so cute • “Cheers Phil” • The Seas with Nemo and Friends • Caption says ‘worst ride EVER’ aw :( • Ian says his experience is rubbish • In space ride? • ‘We got bored of America’ ‘so we went to Japan’ • Watching drum show • Koi pound • Phil in wizard hat • Ian in bob Marley Mickey ears • Phil in hatter hat • Ian in pirate hat • Phil in... spider hat??? • Mom in Minnie ears and Dad on top hat w/ ears lean in together • Holy cow all these hats • Finally settled on pirate • “We’ve become a family of mice” • “Are you filming?” “Yes” “ask me something” “phil?” “Yes?” “Do a micky Mouse impression • Idk what he says • ‘Oh my god’ • Wearing swim shorts • Attacking elephant statue • Meal of salt • Ian try’s to cut it • Fireworks display • Over lake??? • Showing obscure stuffed toys • Dinner noises in back Florida six- who is right?! April 11 P-20 D-15 • In green striped polo • Tan wall • Sitting in bed? • No hands so must be on tripod • Hi • Me and Ian didn’t agree on a lot of things on holiday- let us know who’s right • Mouths I’m right • This room really echos • What is size of platepus • Phil thinks it’s smaller • Different shirts • Phil green with star • Penguins (emperor) Ian-4 ft Phil-1ft • ‘I saw Davey ***?” ???? • Most haunted real? • Phil thinks fake • Phil likes Ian’s hair- Ian doesn’t • Phil’s shoes • Don’t even bring the shoes up • Ian hates them • “The best shoe ever” • Other than that we’ve got on this holiday • Phil punches Ian The tornado and the Comic Book April 30 P-20 D-15 • Opening shot of tornado white in yard • Just looks like dust • Sunny day • In a car • With Ian • Lol his blonde hair • Him and Ian making animal noise in car • Green and white baseball cap with diamond? • Wow I️ didn’t even notice how light his hair has gotten WOW • Written on paper “Ian is a liar you don’t need a gun to kill him” in all caps • Phil slashs paper across his neck • Denny’s • Orange world pass by • Celebration Ave • Driving • “I️ was the only survivor of the tornado encounter” • Tells Ian he’s supposed to be dead • “Sell my body to strangers on the street to make a living and maybe eat the occasional pigeon” • “This is my final broadcast, goodbye everyone it’s been fun” • 1974-1948-1963 • First bomb has hit New York • “Drive Sebastian DRIVE” @ his Dad Phil’s wilding lol • Rorr • Phil’s Dad says something • Someone’s being arrested lol • Steven Speilburg is on a cloud • “Give me your money or dragon will die” • ‘Dad told me to calm down’ written on screen wow it’s so weird to think of Phil as teen • Boring tv • Bites lip • About maths • Parents talking indisctiily • He gets it wrong and everyone laughs • His mom suggests two times table • I️ love his mom • • Alternative Muse Trailer- MEWS Sept 15 P-20 D-16 • Starts w toys • Narrator? Professional • “Coming soon the amazing new album from MEWS • Meowing Muse songs • Sounds kind Phil • Cuts to Phil and Ian in his bedroom meowing and laughing • Phil’s hair is p black again • Phil laughed • They kept laughing • “C’mon, meow- seriously” • There’s literally Buffy everywhere Phil is the real stalker here • Weird ceiling pattern • At home Christmas Monkey December 23 P-20 D-16 • Four people • Phil- hair black and shoulder length • Ian??? Or Pete • Girl in red with long aburn hair cat??? • Guy with duty blonde buzz cut • Ian in antlers • One word stories about monkey • “And-the-monkey-lived-happily-ever-dead” • Probs in dorm 2008 Coin of Destiny Jan 9 P-20 D-16 • Still stock cabin image with title written • Blonde guy??? • Holding duck • Knock at door • Pete comes in • “Hi Jake, tommy” • At dorm??? • In room ugh light blue walls and pool table and jaws poster • Nvm it’s Phil’s house • Coin- endless fortune or pain • Tosses it • At Phil’s house • Phil and someone??? • Stroking things plus noises • Welcome to year 3000 • Heads • “Lucky child” lol • Other guy on hall floor? • Idk him???? Latino looking • In tan room • Ian saves Jake • At gate of destiny • Blonde girl (don’t know???) • Welcome to the gate of eternal destiny • His hair is so long fml • Guy shows up to kill girl Ian saves her • Ben Dawson as Jake • Emily pepperday as gatekeeper • Mark hesketh • Stephan claxon • Danish Mahmood • Filmed at 3 am aww my B.B. • “I️ love you guys” I️ love you Phil Prague #1- Arrival Jan 13 P-20 D-16 • Opens on empty train platform outside • Three guys (or girl one w/ long hair) • “We’re just waiting for the train everyone’s a bit bored” • One guy is doing this dance thing and jumps into the other’s arms • Hangs down • Starts doing sit ups and makes a kissy noise • Guy hold him pretends to slap his face • Jumpcut to room • Guy w/ black long hair dancing • Steven • Omg Phil’s hair is down to shoulders • Pretty black • Wearing blue hoodie • Room is small • “Got our own bathroom so no sharing with scary men” • Likes painting on wall (rose) • Phil bonded with Andy on the plane • Ian • Little quiz for people at home • Andy or Phil? They are facing back • Andy is one w/ long black hair • Lion hate • Ian reading paradise bar card • Sexy women on it • Private dance, go go dance, lap dance • Whistle • Maybe he’ll visit Tomorrow • Describes day • Phil didn’t like English pub at first • Angie made the lion hat • Steven posed naked with lion hat over his crotch • Shows actual picture • Andys in bed Ian’s asleep • Slow mo jump • Everyone has own twin bed Prague #2- Exploring Jan 13 P-20 D-16 • Opens on town/city • We’re in old town square • Gothic towers • Really big Christmas tree • Astronomical clock • ‘Anticlimax’ in text as clock goes off • Going to top of tower • Phil looks like snape with a tan scarf lol • View from top • Tower has the highest suicide rate in Europe • Phil runs up to camera and says fascinating • Steven sniffing maniquen • Zoo on her head • Wow so pretty • Soldiers • Do a little skip • Harry and Hermione good graphite drawings from ootp • Picture slideshow • Show with clown dude 20 Days Mar 8 P-21 D-16 • Text ‘20 Days’ • Sped up • Math socks • Hair v long and black • Got to write 1000 words in 24 hours • Opens textbook and flops his face into it • At college? • Has hiccups • Someone films him flipping pancake • Shirts keep changing • Feather woman • Going in car wash at night • Hanging upside down • Had little blue haired figure ‘I don’t want to write another 2000 words’ • Matching couple going down stairs • Fiona- brown hair with bangs • And Seth • We’re going shopping together • Ill • W coffee • Lion • Outside in fenced in • Wow 20 Days went by fast • I️ think I️ need to start appreciating each day • What are you doing today? • Maybe..you should.. do something memorable • =] Zac Efron for President April 9 P-21 D-16 • Hello • Sea blue shirt • Weather channel saw his last video • Give us sunshine again • Andrew somethings video • He got jones soda • I’m unidentified place with white • It’s can • Angry • He’s in Florida • New tshirt • Went shopping during rain • Got matchy watch • A lizard climbed the tree outside didn’t film it • Badgeline • Zac efron for president • On button • Sea monkeys Katie sent • Ling ling painted lion • Wow this vid is so cringe lol AmericanPhil April 15 P-21 D-16 • Phil is doing American accent • Watching baseball and drinking Gatorade • Holy cow it sounds so weird • Oh it’s another dude speaking • I️ think? • Totally awesome The sliver button May 3 P-21 D-16 • I️n Florida still • Duvet in background • Shiny button on house plant • Somethings coming • Has scarf on head • Change in dimension • Black white now • 1000s of people all watching • I️ can see your eyes you’re all staring right back at me • Sock puppet • Not again • On flip phone • No orange button • Stop watching video • Fake crying • Selfish people • Sock eats him • Never be able to understand what you’ve just done • Entered vid in competition • *competitiom cancelled Sock perfection May 8 P-21 D-16 • Still in Florida • So excited • Are you ready for something exciting • Shoe sock • He’s so happy omg • Red striped shirt Stuff #3 May 25 P-21 D-16 • Text- ‘there was a folder on my computer called ‘stuff 3’ it contained 15 videos and one song’ • I️ challenged myself to make a montage in 10 minutes • Girl saying hello Philip and something about a flip • Dark blue room with guy in red sweatshirt walking away • Anja roaring • Someone in glassed in pool • Phil’s mum is filming • ‘It’s a video’ • Aw she’s so cute • Looks like pool from 2017 Florida trip with dan • They stay in same house! • Red sweatshirt guy ‘You’re editing this film not me’ • Phil in purple tee in front of bushes • Clip of Phil wearing watch • Family • At his dorm with Christmas tree • Clip of guy? • His giant Backyard • City? • I️ am sat on the floor DANGER! June 20 P-21 D-17 • Essay- got a 53% • Upset • Fiona’s Birthday- video • Ben’s Birthday • Booked place with sauna and stuff- recommends • Messy room- dorm?? • Hair is lots shorter • Slightly lighter? • Sped up footage of party • Shot glasses?!? • Girl and at least three guys • Standing in a kitchen • Singing happy birthday • Two girls- four guys • (5?) • Phil likes house • People playing twister • Swimming pool • Ping pong and pool table • Three people dancing on balcony • Girl squished her boobs • In swimsuit • The happening- thought it was going to be really cool • Didn’t like it too much- awkward • Nobody talks like that • Pops pink balloon with hands • Fake cries • Mom is from north- Dad from down south • Mix of two • *accents • Does north accent Curious Mico Aug 10 P-21 D-17 • Hair getting longer • Blue shirt • Orange and wears a tie question time with Mico • Has red guitar • Real? • I’m his brother’s room at moment • Martyn- sure he’s been in one of my videos before • Pic of martyn skateboarding • Weirdest thing in room- loud koala alarm clock • He has new has • Bell- rang it in shop and got shouted at • At the moment really likes mire cats • And polar bears • Marks cat • Cute laugh • 4 In morning about to go to bed • Look down and he stepping on Mouse • Cats are vicious killers • Superstition bc Mom • Fingernails, shoes • Don’t say “I️ hope you die on your birthday” • Makes weird noises • And it noises people • Footage breaks down • “Rest in peace Mico” Dude, an amazing forest hurricane! Oct 5 P-21 D-17 • Other people • Wearing shirt from profile omg first one I️ recognized • Three people- two guys and girl- all long brown hair • Zebra • “We call a zeebra a zebra” “REALLY?””Yes, you were wrong” • Holy cow the girl looks/sounds kinda like Cat (caterific) • Central Park • Doing story • Umbrella • We’re in New York • In band • John • Space exhibition- which was boring • Snacks- discussing biscuits • Abbry • Nvm two girls • At natures museum • It’s a squirrel pig • Re: The BEST advice Oct 27 P-21 D-17 • Close up on face • Purple shirt • ‘Hi andrew’ • ‘My name’s Phil, I’m from England’ • We say the word like this • SORRY • Growls 2009 AmazingPhil Big Brother Audition Jan 13 P-21 D-17 • At home- in his bedroom • Wearing cat whiskers • Omg • Hi- meow • My name’s Phil I’m a boy and I️ make video diaries on YouTube • Jumpcut to lobster • Bare chested- towel tied around shoulders • I’ll join the gym at university • “And then I’ll be irresistible” • God he’s hot • Christmas vacation • Feels need to tone myself • Used to talking into camera • Likes lions • Like these shoes • Like these boxers- musical note ones (Dan has worn them fml) • Doesn’t want to be put with annoying famous people • “So please pick me” • “And I️ will give you a kiss on the face” SNOW April 29 P-22 D-17 • Snow filter • Animals noises • Red shirt • Just making faces ☠️ April 30 P- 22 D-17 • Purple ish footer • Amazing eyes • I️ can hear a noise • I️ can hear someone coming closer and closer to my room • Filter switches • Puts string in mouth • Screams with beep • Pretends to die Bradley Sept 22 P- 22 D-18 • Been really long time since video • Doing American accent • Get naked • BW shirtless jumpcut • Lessamazingphil everyday • Went to wales • Thought he was was going to get serial killered • They were driving • Moving ball of fluff • With friends • Badger • Never seen badger • Badger through itself in front of car • Killed it • Haunted by badger and ferret • Bought glasses today • Called Seth • Checker shirt change • Actually blind • Bradley gave eyetest • Eyelid rape • American cup • Lol it’s a yellow solo cup • Going back to Florida in April • Parents want to get house there • Used to this face • Twice a year in flordia • Writes “a really freaky woman has moved in” • “Hello, I️ will be here for two weeks” • Writes- ‘she keeps her butter in the cupboard • Moving out on Wednesday • Moving back to Manchester forever • So he’s still at uni rn • Going to become a man • Love you all a lot • Battery died • Lion and lioness • Green grapes Flashing Images Sept 25 P-22 D-19 • Text ‘this video contains flashing imagines’ • Flashing images set to music • Most seemed to be filmed at his home • Guy walking down street • Cards • Calculator • Notebook • Buffy on tv • Inverted colors • Pill • 8 ball • Young Phil? • Screen splits several times • Hands with oilers, hourglass, smashing, knife • All footage is ten years old OHHH (1999) I️ like fire and petrol Nov 5 POST 10/19/09!!! P-22 D-23 • In room at house • Got hit by firework as child • Stupid friend called Katie • Picked up unused fireworks and put them in fire • Afraid of fireworks now • Love smell of bonfires • Weird • Aftershave would wear • Fireworks and scooters direct- shop in his town • Now we can ride the scooter to the fireworks display • Back roll OMG • Got purple face mask in P.O. box • Thanks • House made weird noise • Mattress on side?? • American candy- livesavers • Smell • Mickey Mouse boxers • Medium so rly big • Parents said if you don’t have job by November kicking you into the street • Actually just advised him • Haven’t done • Not sure what he’ll be • Brain heart surgeon • Physic? • Now kiss me • Vet • Tatoo artist (only face whiskers) • Lion tamer • Long tongue • History folder- doodles • Didn’t care for history • The final quack • Apartment red filming in Ireland • Woman at airport made him cry • Lioness is pregnant • ‘But you only licked my chin’ • The were on laptop keyboard • W/ Stephan • Apple computer • Set • Wearing suit w/ purple tie • Fake cuts off head • HICKEY on his left between shoulders and neck • Dan was last with him nov 1 • 5-10 Days ago Dreams of the future Nov 22 P-22 D-18 • Meows • Sorry I️ haven’t been around much • Hair down to ears • Wearing jacket he wore for Halloween • Life has been crazy • Cutest face now • Entered video into contest • Dan’s in the competition • Cut to Pinof • Dan saying ‘should I️ have a sex change’ • After you vote for me pleaseeee could you vote for him as well? • Cleans screen • Double screen • Takes photo • Idk if I️ told you but you look really beautiful today • Talk to past • 2047 • Dino dream • We all sleep in xxx chambers • Robots everywhere • When I️ like something it makes me do this *shirt sparkles* • Blue polo ish shirt btw • Not actually human • Show you inside of my head • Cut to flashing images video • Gives me ability to travel trough time • Red- he’s not who he says he I️s • Colors invert • Music kicks in • Travel into past and warn you • I️ have been on this planet for thousands of years • 2047 • Red shirt (with sharpie streaks) no shirt • He has your soul now • I️ warned you to stop watching • End of our story • Like dreams not all stories have a happy ending • Wraps up glove in Black • Going to return to my mind now • I️ want to wake up • His eye Captain stress relief December 5 P-22 D-18 • Stop motion w/ lion • For giffgaff • Mobile network • 18th time filming • Lion hasn’t been talking to him • Guy in bubble wrap • Captain stress relief • Have a cheeky pop and relax • Popping medley • I️ don’t see this as a job I️ see this as my life • At Phil’s house • So high up • Wearing cat sweatshirt/jacket • Another dude in phils living room Have a bear exam coming up • Mom • I’m so stressed with all this cooking • In kitchen • Giffgaff to hire (V DAY VIDEO- FEB 13- P-23 D-18) My fish died :( Mar 1 P-23 D-18 • Bed made • SAME SHIRT AS VDAY • SAYS ARFF OK YHEN • jackienchan • Dad displayed fish body outside conservatory window • We need to mourn him Phillip • 100,000 subscribers • Self conscious • Clip of HI IAM PHIL WELCUM TO MAH FIRST VIDEO BLOG • shudders • Imagine if you all were in the room with me • We’d probably die • Didn’t know peeps • Karen sent him peeps • Christmas trees • Very sugary • Very nice • 6 1/2/ 7 • He and dan tried making American pancakes • Cut to clip of them • Clip of it snowing • In orange room now • Today’s draw Phil Naked • Him riding a cow in space • Mating call of camel • ‘Hey do you want to head up to the bedroom..’ • Prize time • My soul • Boxers • He and Dan semi finalist • In video contest • Halloween’s mirror self of them OHai Mar 30 P-23 D-18 • Purple graphic tee • Cat whiskers • Close to camera • In bedroom • Haven’t made video here since Christmas • Say hello • Going on boat tomorrow to Isle of Man • Isn’t most exciting place • Buy ds and Pokemon to play • Hasn’t played Pokemon since Pokemon Silver • Asleep and kept hearing door bell in dream • Actual doorbell • Ran downstairs • Was excited for big package • Pokemon platinum • Game is small compared to old box • Can’t play bc no ds • Plays with slinky • Thanks everyone who helped by watching captain stress relief • But DANIEL • (Danisnotonfire) • He’s in Twitter part of contest • Help dan out • Giving away crazy prizes • Yawn • Going to bed at odd times • Doesn’t know how he coped when he went to Australia • Do you like these videos? • I️ will appear in your bedroom BOAT APOCALYPSE Apr 14 P-23 D-18 • In room but sitting at Pinof angle • Back from Isle of Man • Black polo • Hope the Easter bunny was kind • Never want to see white choclate ever again • ‘It’s your favorite’ • Had couple of Easter eggs before going on boat • People suck everywhere • Didn’t throw up • Dana gave him Easter egg • Real bird egg filled with chocolate • Looking at apartments in Manchester • Want to get one with really high skyscraper • Pretend everything is mine • Creepy guy breathing in his ear on bus • Don’t like people breathing in his ear • Got red photo camera • Penguin mating call • Ds arrived • Shows other side of his room • Big lion on chair • Draw Phil Naked • Him on a unicorn • Starts singing always I️ want to be with you • Apartment red • He and Steven • Lion family Swine Flu May 6 P-23 D-18 • V day shirt • Not in room • Feel like you and me should be pillow fighting in slow motion in our underwear • Thatd be hot • Tried to make video outside • Think he’s in Florida • Mosquito down his shirt • In geeze? Bottom corner of Florida • 8 hours to get there • Only eating trail mix • Too sacred to go into sea- idk why I️ developed sea phobia • Snake or alligator • Sea panther lurking • Bought grow your own aquarium • Only thing I️ shop that not shell • Shell jigsaw • Hammock jumpcut • He has swine flu • Guy with green t shirt on plane coughed • It’s been 3 weeks • Got sonic boxers • Fish in house • Pinof 2 • Own tv show on apartment red PRIZES July 8 P-23 D- 18 • Crawling forward on bed • Lion tee shirt • Patch beard • Facial hair grows weirdly • Nvm not lion shirt but black • So this video is about PRIZES • We the Kings day in the life • Announcing winners • Sending postcards to address • Permission to scrape out his eyeballs • Phil I️D.C. About contest • Something exciting in September • Clip on repeat EEE • Only good things can come out of a Moomin box Viewer Mail! Louder! Aug 30 P-23 D- 19 (As I️t is exactly same as listed video, no notes) SUPERNOTE 2010 Oct 4 P-23 D- 19 • Omg Dan is here • In new apartment • On black couch in front of microwave • Dan wearing red sweatpants and has bracelets • Phil in blue polo and black jeans? • Readyness face • Making mouth movements at each other • Big breath in • Dan counts down on fingers • Singing notes • Contest • Dan has v relaxed face • He lasts 42 seconds • Phil lasts 52 • D “holy crap what the fuck, freak” • Dan makes squawk noise • Wave goodbye • Dan starts again and Phil shoved his face • Screams in Phil’s ear • Dan and Phil get down! Oct 30 P-23 D- 19 • Dan fake playing video game • Phil sitting behind him • Dan wearing twilight shirt • Phil in yellow shirt • I️ heard if you say this thing 3 times into a mirror something scary happens • Dan replies sarcastically ‘ooh what is that then?’ • Bleeding llama dance party • No summos ancient Japanese wolf demon • Please it’s Halloween • Phil groans and gets up and goes to bathroom • Starts to say I️t • “Phil no think about this for a moment” • Scary imagines flash • Dan and Phil standing in front of balcony doors • Dan is taller than Phil omg • Stop motion • Dancing • Cycle • Phil eventually puts on wolf mask and mauls dan • Runs to camera • Happy Halloween • End screen 2011 Has WINNERS Mar 5 P-24 D- 19 • Dan and Phil • Terrible sound • In new apartment • Phil in red tee Dan in grey sweater and llama hat • Half full Ribena in back • Co judge: dan... the llama • Emotional piano music • All so good • I️ wish I️ was creative • D- so was I️ • Rachel triops queen and three year old daughter • Dan thinks they’re gross Phil likes them • Bonus chance for Simon • Dan does little swaying dance • Runners up • Dan will make sure Phil contacts people • Salad fingers character • But good • Dan likes text • Girl we met my chemical romance • With pink hair • Dan rolls eyes at Phil giving career advice • Jumpcut after dan plays with balls • 7 evil ex’s- dan is Ramon of flowers??? • Dan rawring at Phil • Dan should be art teacher • Dan says he should be everything teacher • Final fantasy character • Phil grabs Dan’s face when he’s annoyed • Don’t grab my face • ‘Personal bubble’ • Rude • Dan playing with bracelet • Secret unlisted video • Llama head butt • Don’t know how to stop camera Totoro Winners! June 5 P-24 D-19 • Phil wearing purple New York shirt • Dan wearing grey sweater • Terrified dan • Giraffe scared Dan • Not just creativity • Whisk face giraffe • Hard choosing • Goat • Dan scared of giraffes forever • Michael eagle washing machine • All these get small rotor is • Giraffe pocky • Wonder why Phil likes I️t • Hippo ice cream • Phil wants to eat I️t • Mural on side of his house of octo sloth • Dan likes spaghetti panther the best • Sitting on left side of tv • Tv is on • Fair amount of Knick knacks • Unbridge on unicorn • Fair amount of jump cuts • Phil just finished portal • Dan calls for taxi?? • Ultimate winners • Someone calls dan • Hello? Hello? • Jump cut he’s not on phone anymore • Phil loves disturbing • Dan says we a lot • Dan goes to get his taxi • Twerks in camera • Phil says no • Gives rec for vid • Unidentifiable song find I️t Speaking fail Aug 10 P-24 D-20 • He’s going to be doing an official apartment tour on his channel • Over and over • Red button up plaid • In bedroom • Keeps messing up DOG-A-LIKES! Oct 7 P-24 D-20 • Last day before Florida • Dan can’t fit in fride • Heat wave • Dan’s butt after heat wave • What dog is each person • Phil • Dan • Peej • Lion • Charlie • Chris • Idk why I️t made Chris so fat • Phil and Buffy baby • Phil and pikechu baby • Cookies and cream straw • In tv room • Drinks milk • Check out vyou • Clip of Phil eating after camera stopped • Bonus Phil mail 3.5 December 6 P-24 D-20 • In bedroom on side of bed • Lots of stuff • Camera and IMovie lost his footage • Red shirt • Jade sent him letter with draws (and cat whiskers) • Red panda stamps • Phil can’t wink • Wearing shorts • Heart hands • Timothy get downstairs right now • Going to read story in bed tonight • Likes to read before bed • Pocky • Promises he reads all letters • Final fantasy music? • Thank you for the sexy story as well... • Fake eyelashes maybe for philippa PROJECT FOR AWESOME 2011! somewhereto_ Dec 17 P-24 D-20 • Eating out of advent Callander • Sitting in chair in front of tv • Christmas tree up • Sonic shirt • Juggling polar bears • Walking down street • Omg this is where the cuts where he swears come from • Looks like mike from stranger things lol • Helps find people find space to do things • Draw Phil Naked • Snowed today • Dan saying it’s a blizzard harry in background 2012 LETTERZ Jan 25 P-24 D-20 • Sitting on bed longways • New covers • Jacob mask • Wearing blue orange and white bracelets- silly bands? • Wearing tie • Indigo shirt • Jesus stamps • Watching you since 2009 • I️dead to prank dan • Hide alarm clock in his room- that’s a good one • Working on that • I️ went cross eyed for you I️ love you that much • And now even moar • Red curtain • Now In living room • Sitting at breakfast bar • You should visit Canada someday • Likes the name Hope • Cara lee is a cool name • Wearing lion hat • ‘I’m sorry don’t stop watching the video because I️ did that’ • 8 years old viewer • WHOLLY SHIT ITS TIFAS THEME • SHITTTTTYTTT • shirt change • Doesn’t like colored pencils FANK YOU Jan 30 P-25 D-20 • Not at home • At parents house? • Grey plaid shirt • Bday thank you • Had a really nice day • Guinea pig • Mom made him cactus garden • Mapless chocolates • Shaver bc his broke and stubble growing • Didn’t know what to ask for for his bday • Sexy socks • Chocolate tasting club • Dad wrote ‘have a nice birthday or ill eat your liver’ • Spiked himself on cactus • Final destination • Go to bed • Should do updates more • Mysterious news AmazingPhil Next Vlogger May 6 P-25 D-20 • Jacob mask • Kill Bill poster above his bed now • My name’s Phil and I’m known as AmazingPhil on YouTube • From Manchester England • Vlogs, comedy sketches, interactive vid, and lions? • Loves interacting with people all across the world the most • In future wants to keep doing what he’s doing • Get better at editting • More interactive • Life vlogging • Juggles apples • Yeah I️ can’t juggle But what’s the catch!? May 23 P-25 D-20 • In another dudes house? • With Alex Day • London • Says London accent • Offers with price • 5 million will you shave off all body hair forever • Phil would for month or year • That’s mental no • Phil would for a billion • Saturday • Lose laugh or read minds • Phil seems flirty • Draw time • Bored on train Phil wrote these QUESTIONS! and a pickled shark Sept 10 P-25 D-21 • London apartment !!! • Side channel vid • Pinof 4 tomorrow filmed • Need questions • Usually uses formspring • In room? • Shark HO HO HO Dec 25 P-25 D-21 • At parents house • Tan room on couch • Take break from eating to wish happy Christmas • Puts on antler • HIS BEDROOM IS TAN • Not couch bed • Tetris alarm clock • At 6:30 when filming • Or is that his alarm??? • Dog puppet • Radio 1 website • 9 pm • Working on show all of December • Interacting on bb1 twitter • Going to eat and go into food coma • Goodbye guys oh dear • DAN IN RELFEVTIOM OF ALARM on computer • Ewatching? • Or Phil’s background 2013 HAIR MODEL! May 7 P-26 D-21 • Deleted • Finally feeling like summer • Mouse situation • Mouse in our house • Mouse cam • Their tv • Time to get cat • Weird woman • Hand first • Would you like to be a hair model • Different hair styles • Nial mask • Homeless guy saying I️ wonder who would win in a fight between you two • Phil wins • Lemon phone case • Jack Howard is avoiding haircut • Asking phone genie • Who in avengers? • C’mon Thor (Phil is so gay for him) • Black widow twins • Mcr in background • Names all Tom • Knows his middle name • Mum uses full name when he’s in trouble • Why is there a dying rabbit on my bed • I️ May tell u about someday • Interrupt this video for announcement • Danni boi jumps in (literally) • You just broke my bed • Radio Show nominated for award • People’s choice • London edition Ditl if they win • Grandma and dog vote • Phil was wearing pj bottoms while Time 2014 Dan and Phil LICK RACE June 16 P-27 D-23 • Sky shirt • Dan in horn hoodie • Usual spam emails • Hello Phil from Oreo • Lick race • Free double stuff Oreos • Nice angle • No teeth just tongue • Need a dispute to settle • Mail button • Phil is heavy sleeper • Ah domestic • Not answer door from more • But wait there’s more • Loser face decorated • Dan takes hello kitty mug • Dan has powerful younger • Phil sliding I️t over tongue • Dan slow powerful licks • Work out • So good at ice lollies now • Dan wins • Dan draws lick off • Sprays Phil’s hair • Ok I’m to go now • Dan licks camera Welcome! Sep 8 P-27 D-23 • White background • Probs in house • Wearing dan and Phil T-shirt’s • Dan in black and Phil in purple • Dan and Phil • Official worldwide dan and Phil shop • Posters • Llama and lion • Stationary sets • Dans ear 7cm long • Please stop that • Up there somewhere • Newsletter • Thanks for supporting • Phil’s heart hurts • Get that checked out • Should we go make some videos • Or eat • Dan laughs at the end god that was awkward Thank you! Sep 8 P-27 D-23 • Same setting as last • Dan- hello valued customers • If you’re watching this means you bought something • Or someone just sent you link • Phil hugs camera • To late now they just should enjoy the embrace • Go before • Super cringe sPOOPy Nov 5 P-27 D-23 • Darkness and flashing • Flashlight • 1D poster • Close up on Nial • Phil ‘rahhh’ • Sitting on toilet probs The Dan and Phil ADVENT CALENDAR Nov 17 P-27 D-23 • In gaming room • Phil in Jake sweatshirt • Dan in black T-shirt • Hello disciples of the Dan and Phil newsletter • No • We’re calling them that it’s my turn • So much worse than buddies • Didn’t know if we were going to do this if not • Hilarious • Phil wanted to • Bigger than looks on camera • Dan has big head • Had chocolate tasting • Strange moaning noises • Photo booth challenge behind each • Chocking on chocolate • Americans don’t have • Another joint • All get a bit fat together • Yayyy CHRISTMAS MERCH!! Dec 5 P-27 D-23 • In Christmas jumpers worn in dirl • Hello Christmas elves • Missed opportunity to say ho ho hello • Live in same • Follow newsletter • Do I️t • Please • Please • Working for long time • Best thing ever made • Calendar • Don’t spoil I️t • Customized dates • Twiiter plans • Pixal t shirt • Phil likes galaxy coat • Dan likes dinosaur • And Phil’s Pizza tshirt • Dan should put I️t on • Dan says not to look • Don’t want you to see my nipples • Phil covers his eyes • Phil sings sexy music • Dan thinks it’s cool • Dan is smiling to much too fake • Wrapping paper • Gift card • Dan doesn’t trust relatives • Put lot of love • Festive make over • Lots of gaming videos • Ho ho ho Phil closes in on camera Christmas one word story game! Dec 17 P-27 D-23 • Sitting on gaming couch • Dan in Santa hat and earrings and black Santa sweater • Phil in reindeer and purplish patterned sweater • Reindeers don’t say ho ho ho • Ahhh • Greetings and ah • Man named Jerome who killed Santa and wore his skin while visiting children • That was terrible idea HAPPY NEW YEAR! Dec 17 P-27 D-23 • Bonus video • In gaming room • Jellyfish tee • Dan in black • Purple Pokemon pillow • Merry eve • Phil what was your favorite thing of 2014 • Meeting Kylie benoge • Hanging out • Amazing video • Australian slang • Worst thing- • Either being stuck on rollercoaster or squirrel • Dan smiling • Best • Nick jonas hug • Body warmth • Worst • Buying leather t shirt • Regrets • Enjoy hanging out with robots and hover cars in future • Both give thumbs up 2015 ZZZZ Jan 28 P-27 D-23 • In gaming room • Door open • In gaming room • Pikacu pillow and green one • Phil in logos shirt • Dan in black tee • Dan does double peace signs in opening • Phil does single wave • That was weird • Dan and Phil sim buddies • Do something for people who have trouble sleeping • We both stay up too late on the internet • Like miles or owls • Bedtime story game • Ahh • Filter • One night in florist land there was a little squirrel called Herbert. Herbert’s face was swollen bc he licked a bee Herbert is sad bc of his face as he won’t be able to ask Susan to prom remember that faces are not important and dogs are loyal • THAT WAS GOING SOMEWHERE • ALL YOU HAD TO SAYIS WHATS INSIDE COUNTS AND YOU SAID DOGS • Dan is wild • Why are you wearing pyjamas • Bc it’s bedtime • Phil walks away • What a disaster • Sorry Ring Ring Roulette 2! Feb 15 P-28 D-23 • In gaming room at an angle • Phil in gray space shirt • Dan in alien shirt • Hello dan and Phil games sims buddies • Awkward • Need to stop that • Randomly call people using • Using our dan and Phil sim • Mailbox you have called not available • Hello? • Is this mainly? • Starts crying • Oh my fuck • Hi this is Dan and Phil • I’m amazed • How long have you watch vids? • *gargled answer • Dan would win in fight to death • Do you have any pets • Cat called salemgaylord something • Dan likes lazy fat cats • Phil would like a unicorn • Give us best unicorn impression • Lovely to speak to you • Thanks for getting out Dan and Phil sim • This has been amazing thank you • Both wave to phone • Dan mirroring Phil THANKS! Mar 2 P-28 D-23 • In gaming room • Poke ball and crash bandicoot pillow • Phil in owl sweater • Dan in black shirt and grey hoodie • Touching • Hello sim buddies • Wanted to make video to say thank you on sim adventure • Controlling our lives- pic of running • Sneaking things into our tweets • Phil tweet- “some days you just feel like a moist diplodocus. Put on a snazzy outfit, go to the zoo and have a feelsposion over a capybara.” • Finally getting Dan to change his icon • Cat whisker and eclipse shirt • Yep that finally happened • Dan found I️t fun • Dan senses you all strange texts • Won’t randomly call you... for now • Phil summerize this entire thing with one noise • Brleee! • Beautiful ^_^ Mar 12 P-28 D-23 • In gaming room at weird angle • Dan in Eye shirt • Phil in some graphic tee (white) • Hello sim buddies • Night (completely dark) • We’re waiting and we’re ready • Sounded creepy • Randomly dialing • Dan had huge ass smile on his face • Not available • Sh sh • LAUREN • Hello? • Um yes • This is Dan and Phil • Oh hi • Answer I️ wanted to hear • Refreshing for like hours • Do you have any pets • Dog called chip • Cross terrier • Do any tricks • Jump cut • Probably a cat • Nothing more exotic? • Bearded dragon not baby dragon • Impression • Phil does impressions • 11/10 • Hello internet • Phil waves at phone again • Lauren was nice • Asking people to do phone impressions isn’t good etiquette • Phil asks Dan to do impression and he does aww |||RRR||| Apr 1 P-28 D-23 • Even weirder angle in gaming room??? • Dan in skull shirt and Phil in red plaid • Hair is flipped ohhhhh • “Are we not going to call them dan and Phil sim buddies this time?” • Sim friends • Mobile isn’t available • On toilet or something • Man’s voice • Is this Chloe • Not your sim • Man’s voice • Unicorn impressing • Barry • Thanks Barry • That wasn’t Chloe... • Nicole • This is Dan and Phil • I’m just sat down • No just sitting • Have a snake • Bella • Hiss • Since 2010 watched videos • The Pinofs are favourites • Happily sitting • She’s so chill • Hello internet • Phil wants a snake • Didn’t wave • Dan in blue dining room chair DAN AND PHIL SHOP ‘END OF SUMMER/CLASS IS STARTING AGAIN AHHH’ COLLECTION Aug 22 P-28 D-24 • Pixal fade in • Crash and flappy bird pillows • Dan in b tee w pocket lion • Phil in mint green lion pocket • Hot new season • End of summer/class is staring again season • Such a long time • Lllama lion t shirt • Rubbing my boob • Text ‘wow it’s like a little trip to 2011’ • Debuted piece of jewelry • Whiskers necklace • Phil wears I️t • Put I️t over face and look like u have whiskers • How amazing is that • Collabed with spiral backpacks • Pixal and Galaxy • Phil will use galaxy • Worked rly hard • Bye • Pixal fade Dan and Phil Merch EXPLOSION 💥 Nov 18 P-28 D-24 • In gaming room • Dan in fringe sweater • Phil in tour t shirt • Flappy bird and crash pillow • Dan’s voice bad bc tour • Attack on Titan Phil sings • Most merch ever • V busy this year • This guy • Dan does dance • Phil wants explosives makes dan edit • Rolls eyes • Didn’t know it’s coming • 2016 Calender • Work Calander • Strippers • January sailors • So sorry • Phil’s fav aug • Fireman • Police is most suggestive • Photos regret • Sweater is by artist • Black tee • Prodigy and 5 secs of summer • Tours on back • Tour tee • New poster • Next chapter • Advent calander • Good chocolate • Festive morphs • Wait for each day • Thanks to Martyn • Newsletter • Hope you’re having a fab day 2016 New Merch! CALENDERS AND SPACE! Nov 18 P-29 D-25 • Both in galaxy merch • Dan sweater • Phil tee • Gaming • Crash pillow and flappy • Boy do we have a thing for you • Sit down • 2017 calander • At movies • Dan likes marvel January • Phil looks better than Chris • That’s bold • If you worked out.. • Phil jumped for hogwarts • Sorry for sherk July • Stare at us all the time • New galaxy merch • Dan likes design • Dark space • No ugly dan and Phil anywhere • Darker back pack • So many secret flaps • Shame is strong • I️ don’t want your head on my boobs • Crime against Christmas • The big C • Snapchat filter dan and Phil • You sneaky lil shits have I️t don’t deny • Horrifying • All out now • It’s cool if you don’t • Newsletter • First spamming in comments section • B b b B.B. bye • — — — — - Dan — — — 2006 Bower’s Castle Highscore B Dec 28 P-19 D-15 • On Dan’s MySpace • In living room • Yellow walls • Red carpet • On May • Fire place • Big old tv in corner • Starts w him walking on mat • Black socks and some sort of black sweatpants • V blurry • Black shirt • Ddr • Looks shorter • Uh let’s see • Ooh • Six misses only six • High score see 2009 Did you order some sex? Nov 3 P-22 D-18 • Wow link was broken • Same angle as hello internet • Tv with drawers • Shirt or something on top • Body bag still hanging from door • Hey everybody • Excited voice • YouTube actually removed for shocking images • Penis 3 ft long flowing blue • Rectal exams are so saintly • Text ARE YOU SRS • rant • New angle • Hair almost looks black • Sitting • Black long sleeve v neck w/ leaves? • Vloggy break from professional normal videos • Back from Halloween gathering • Met lots of people made friends • Got far too drunk *small laugh* • Looking down • This internet thing is crazy • New angle • White pants • Pulling them down • Blue underwear • Sorry didn’t make this vid yesterday • Tree fell on train tracks and he was standing there for ages • Your free socks are in the mail rn (butterfingers subscribers) • Bc that’s what I️t said- SOCKS • not secks • What kinda pervert would say that • Side note • How do you mail sex to somebody • Knocking on window • In mask and hood • Window door • White • Uh hi ups • Why you at the Back door • Free sex right to this house • BEND OVER • Looks at camera • Clip of him zooming in on screen with text ‘it’s over 5000!!’ • *dies* • Look what you did! • I’m going to get a not shit camera • You piece of crap (camera) • All see my hidious face in high quality *groan* • Follow me on twitter for interesting things I️ did • Woke up • Eating toast • Making orange squash • Kitchen is mess • So having a crap • Red underwear • Tmi • Dailybooth for naked photos • Has princess ketchup and kittens unrest • Stick finger YouTuber eating Google’s ass • Pure and innocent soul • Lazy Belemic • Smile • 10 points if you get that joke • So many jumpcuts • Proper video with tassels and everything • Heart hands I️ PUNCHED A BEAR IN THE FACE P-22 D-18 • Same angle but sitting • Hey guys • White ball by drawers • Joker tshirt • Echoy • Me and Amazing Phil in competition on clipstar.com • Votes money as prize • Amazing subscribers • Vote for me • Says via like vIa • Might not even have weekend job in few weeks • If he wins will buy camera • Committed to YouTube • Yellow carpet • Lexis videos • 90% so my audience is female • Doesn’t matter • I️t doesn’t matter if you’re 12 call me • Wink • Insecure • Radiating masculinity • Get back male audience • Puts on flannel • Manly cracked shirt and ginger facial hair • Man things • Beer out of special beer glass that’s not my dads • Eating raw meat • Biting Deer • Watches the football • Camping other week • Loincloth and pointy stick • Puts on bear costume • I’ll nut ya • Sigh • I️ don’t think this is working • Stick to sarcasm and humiliating myself What did YOU get for Christmas? Dec 25 P-22 D-18 • In room with Christmas blanket • Gradient small tree • Wrapping paper • Waking up • ITS CHRISTMAS AHHH EEEEE • not one of those people who hates Christmas bc I’m rly cool • Love Christmas • Fav day • Divine advent calander • Religious • Glory to god in highest etc • Inflict Christianity on me • Actually potrey Jesus family from Middle East • Not white • You to post video respond • Portal to Christmas memories • B/w jumpcut in muchdash • I️ got a *miidle finger* kill yourself f*ggot • Got- pants, socks • Truffle chocolates • Maltesers ‘so beautiful’ • Indoor fireworks • Evil laugh • Orange M.D. more chocolate? • Movie ‘Australia’??? • Loves I️t • Bailey alcohol • ‘Goodbye liver’ • Lol Christmas jumper • Shit ones • One solution puzzle? • Shirt grey • Book • Plaid pants • Sorry Mom never buy clothes for me • Twilight • Get out • Pretty awesome • Kill Bill- fav movie ever • Money • PHILS TOY • Goddam tonbury! • Hugs camera 2010 hi there Feb 27 P-23 D-18 • Holy fuck he’s in India • Birds in the background • OMGOMGOMG • Red t shirt • Towels over raining • Blue wall • Channel is danisnotintresting • All 8 hundred and something of you you super sneaky detectives • Am in middle of holiday in India • Palm trees and animals • Not horrible winterness I️ left behind • Drum • Hotel-PRESA di GOA • Bedroom- white sheets, dark, posts w curtains • WiFi • People talking in background during WiFi clip • Shirtless filming in mirror • Bathroom lighting is attractive • Breakfast area- outside grass hut roof things and chairs and tables • Swimming pool • Lagoon color surrounded by trees and some pool chairs- empty • Actual hut house things • Stone monkey on roof • Gardener watering plants • Black dog • India’s pretty cool • Nice and hot • Nice to wear shorts again • View from airplane • Back in UK now • Now can make more vids • See you all soon • *kiss* muah Aeroplane Adventures- with danisnotonfire Feb 28 P-23 D-18 • Unlisted but Danni BOI has made I️t unavailable I️t looks like • Ralph Lauren polo • Vlogging in mirror on plane • Hello and welcome to aeroplane bathroom adventures with Dan • Snuck into first class toilets • Lots of stuff • Giant • Airplane toilets scare him • Create black hole in room • Flushing toilet Uncle Ken Apr 14 P-23 D-18 • Note- unlisted for being generally awful but I️ won’t private I️t for archeological reasons (wtf does that mean?!?) • In grey sweater vest thingy • Better quality • Only the yellow wall as background • Just blog for first time- for many reasons • Wants to talk • Looks white • Where is his channel going • Style • Suck at posting regularly • Worst at doing anything • Idea sheet • Has to be five minutes epic • Twilights last • Video everyday in April • Considering I️t doing • Checking websites till dinner • Playing rock band till he goes to sleep • Singing bad romance • Maybe in aug • Going to Portugal with Phil in few days • Expect vid • In Manchester for next week • Mom got log cabin for garden • Outdoor shot • Lots of trees • Path to cabin • Staying at grandparents overnight • Weird shuffling noises outdoor • Door freaking open • Gown standing in doorway • Uncle was watching tv downstairs • Pretends to be sleep • 3 minutes I️t watches him • Rape me in sleep • I️t left after watching grandparents • He • Come upstairs now to uncle • Oh that’s uncle Ken • Relative of yours you haven’t met from up north • Dementia • Comment below • Had nice Easter • Bye bye LETS HAVE A QUICKIE Apr 30 P-23 D-18 • Black tee • Sitting on side of his bed • Waredrobe • Quickie vid • Interactive truth or dare next vid • 2nd channel suggests • Pick most entertaining • Some things that I️ wouldn’t pic • Not doing naked handstand on motorway • Oww... • Chocolate • Birds outside • Returning to dailybooth • Neglected I️t for last three months • Sign up • Fav online community • Phil stuffy ‘prized!’ • LucyX won peace of hair • Won competition for gimp • Shout out Phil for no dance vid • He was lazy • Shot Pinof 2 • Omm nom nom nom • Bloopers • Shut up at helicopters outside E3 2010! L.A. Vlog June 17 P-23 D-19 • In hotel • With Phil • In grey graphic tee • Phil in l blue polo • First few days for trip to La • Phil forgot they went to Disneyland • How could you forget we went to Disneyland • (Day 1) • Clip of coaster • Space mountain was awesome • Met American friends • More friendly than English people • Toy story 3 tournament • Is really good • Phil seems kinda out of I️t • Tron bags • Clip at Disney • Dan ‘tron bagssss’ • Someone legend of Zelda t shirt • Molly • Has tron bag • Blonde • Might wear I️t every day • Phil in purple • Dan in vest and twilights last • Phil is on light bike • World of color thing • Mufasa dies nvm rainbow • Going to make him remember • Segway tour • Venice beach tour • Dan loved I️t • Why don’t you get bike • Cut to shots • With blonde girl and dude • Dan segwayed wo hands • Pj? • Qued waiting for cirque de sol • Weird shoulder pads robes • Jump cut • Crazy • Kinect • Phil got to see press conference • Tonight get to see you story 3 • Best week ever • Funky playing around that wave been doing • Peace sign and three finger • Small world about to have soil ruptured • Phil roars SELF MUTILATION Jul 18 P-23 D-19 • In room on bed? • Grey patterned ish shirt • Worst habit • Suit on door • Cuts to him throwing off leopard print underwear and stabbing his dick • Wearing llama shirt in jumpcut • Leave spot on face alone • Dan has to remove I️t • Tiny red spot on face • I’ll just v subtly • Black screen screaming • *five minutes later* text on screen • Condiments and beef jerky on face • Over jumpcut with joker shirt • Going out tonight don’t want anyone to see • Side eyes • Add so reasons why Dan’s a fail • PO box • Danisnotonfire PO box 3612 Workingham RG40 9JL • England • Ik my subscribers • Don’t actually send me dead babies or underwear • Rawr argblarbleawblrwarblgablrbleweblbll Jul 26 P-23 D-19 • holy fuck Jamaica • ITS THAT ONE CLIP • plays with hair- look- wave- holds nose close eyes- splash underwater- opens eyes briefly while coming up • Wearing earrings Extreme Tubing Fail Aug 1 P-23 D-19 • ITS ANOTHER JAMAICA BLESS • people on tube • So after seeing that do you want to do I️t Phil? • Phil is so soft omg • Yeah • Two others on boat • One looks like driver • About to die • Girl • Dan likes I️t more than Phil • Both fall • Basically me and Phil died • Dan elbowed Phil in face Pelvic Thrusts Aug 12 P-23 D-19 • Danosaurs • L blue t shirt • In bedroom • Quick vloggy vid • Updated on life • Shit at vlogging • Kittens out shit • No scirpt • Just notes • Jamaica was fun • Not live in country with incests • Phil and him have bites everywhere • Everything wants to kill you more than people • To vids v proud of • We spent days editting them • Watch I️t again • Mortal combat scene was funny • Summer in city last weekend • Meet up in field for three days • Like 50 lovely people • Jonny Barum • Gave I️ Love you robot shirt • Intoxicating when gave I️t to him • Also a youtuber • He’s lovely • Charlieisso cool • It’s a hair flip • Phil is moving out • To own flat in Manchester • 14th floor • Looking forward to shooting vids there • Dump all my shit in his house stay there all time and eat his food • Truth or dare next vid • Outside with public • Send in YouTube message do t clutter comments • Fuck a duck • Promised people he would spon • Get featured uk • Spon • He’s made 4 vids without putting them up • This vid has gone but to shoutouts • Pelvic thrusts to make up for I️t • Bunch of perverts • I️ will upload 7 minute videos bc I’m awesome text at the end watch dan talk about a competition you helped him win Oct 5 P-23 D-19 • In bedroom at corner • Wearing grey vest thing and white t shirt • Spent long time editing • Uploading whatever to channel • Don’t expect good things • Invisible friends • Omg the editing • Clip star finalists • Vote for him and Phil • Terrible text • Win prizes for free • One of 30 postcards • Signed worn topman boxers • Steven Phil and His script • Pic chosen in glitter pen • Return to dailybooth • Vid of him and Phil dancing • Better channel layout • Happy dan full of smiles • Happiest Dan in world • See you guys soon University Life Oct 21 P-23 D-19 • In uni halls • Not askaban • On bed • Heart dude • Then Edward • Confusing 3 week’s • Settled • This place is actually beautiful • Joked I️t wold be horrible • Scenic window view • Piping in building • Vintage prison feel • No window kitchen • L shaped lounge • Fridge for 12 people • Exposed brick work • Hard working convicts that built this place • Zooms on someone on computer • Through window • Hello • Creeper text • Rly like room • Bat and gym and shops • Closest halls to lecture • Roll across halls in pjs • Marelyn drew his room across from rape factory • How does smoke say rape • Zoom on papers • Intense parting every night • Earlier this week • Him playing wit hair • Someone knocks on door • Hey what you doing • YouTube thing I️ do • Rightttt ok I’m I’ll leave you to I️t • Dan slaps his face • Forever alone meme • Thumbnail • Lesbian action • Sorry but he did try • Knocks on girls door • V pretty girl- purple nails, brown hair and tanned skin • Lizzie and Ellie upstairs • Indian accent • Wants to speak to girls • What do you want to speak to girls about • Oh I’m just making a video • Girl in grey beanie • Nicer room • Hi are you busy • No • Can you be thumbnail of my vid • Hot girl looks p uncomfortable other looks ok • V attractive • Take of all clothes and make out • Serious? Yes! • What are you filming • I️ tried • Post vid response • Showing uni halls • Aww kitty! • Hello! • What are you trying to say the game? 2011 Dan Mail Jan 16 P-23 D-19 • At uni • Sweatshirt grey • Guys aren’t fans • Periodically make them • Some text • T shirt • Dan is not on fire t shirt • Dead babies and underwear on paper • I️ love you Dan raffe • Drawing • Sticks up drawings on wall • Likes every time of music • Loves moulin rouge • Loves edge cronicals • Fav color gold • Bumto fav drink? • Can’t write back • Will email • Sabrina • PlZ don’t put glitter • Hello kitty • Team Jacob • Make twilight vid • Native American likes • Basketball bracelet • Matt Belemy heart hands • Pokémon drawing • Toy zebra • Unfold letter • Huge letter • Chain cow • Paper crane • Short attention span • Can’t say happy birthday to everyone • Silver candle • Evie • Freddie off skins • Big compliment • Hawaiian Punch mix • Lava • Kiss marks on envelope • He likes native Americans • Dan get the hula hoops off Phil • Condoms • Put butterfly tattoos on face • Earrings • Friend walked in on him in bathroom • Drink not for him • Dramatic music • Tampon with his face and Phil’s face on I️t • Few of them • Disturbed • Scared • Stains • Horror laughs • Beheaded doll • Decorates Wall • Heart hands • Why the hell have you watched • Space background • Shorter in future WORLD’S FASTEST COIN STACKER Feb 23 P-24 D-19 • In uni I️ think • Uni sweatshirt • Long time no see • Had haircut • Likes I️t • Guinness world record tried to get him to break his record • People cried over him cutting hair • He hated his hair • Phil wanted Dan to say he spent previous night asleep on someone’s floor so that’s why he looks like dying monkey • Me Phil Bryony Ed • (Paper lilies and eddplant) • Other non internet people • Omg that hair... • Fastest stack of coins • After ten minutes of practice • Dan’s teem has spit shirts • Phil’s has stripes • Phil’s stack falls • Then Dan’s • He blames everyone in room • Acted humble but I️t wasn’t ok • 38 secs • Phil is confident he can beat him • Dan says Phil is just a jumble of nerves • This is hilarious • Dan’s falls • 31.617 Phil has new record • One good thing has to happen to Phil in his life • Dan was happy for him • Shot to him crying on bed • Compete against roger black • Olympic • Fastest one handed toilet tool • Ik I️ look retardo • Cocky • Katie weasel • His roll failed • Dan disqualified • Final fantasy music sad • Never wipe him again • V sore loser lol • Went home last week • Suitcase full of letters • Falls off chair Dan Mail 2 Mar 3 P-24 D-19 • Uni • On red spinning chair • Necklace thing? • Can’t react • Happy birthday changes camera angle • Happy birthday at this point • Good friend who showed the video • Now he never has to do that again • Never not show a letter • Pink llama • Llama hat • Cool girls always wear them • He can’t bc he’s boy • In vid he will • Dan mobile drawing • How hair is? • Straighten I️t • Dan and Phil in lot of things • Says envelope weirdly • Dancing in underwear in pic • Naked playing xbox drawing • Talented creeper • Has to stop recording every letter • Retarded • Good work my minions- for laying down • Prize for whoever finds how many time he says awesome and incredible • Hello kitty • Silly band (OMG) • Justin Bieber stickers • Guessed Indiana • Looks like brendon urie • Seeing panic in April • I️ pad but didn’t have any spare ones • Kristen Stewart disabled face • Porn • The game • Fussing over camera quality • Teacher thought she’s weird for thinking microwave is onomatopoeia • Will there be Pinof 3 • Kisses from Bulgaria • Bebe from Bulgaria has friend • Summer time or vampire money fav song on album • Ties up hair • Looks like troll • Likes my dimples • Nickname- bear SCREAMMMMM • Placenta fav word • Pandas over koalas • Fav yougurt vanilla • Dogs over cat • Plays piano, drums, ocurina? • Oh dear another box... • Lots of love and blood • Another decapprd doll • Actual placenta ? • Another vid later • Updated wall • In apartment red • Tv episodes • Fiesta music • The game on his door PSYCHO FRENCH TEACHER Apr 22 P-24 D-19 • In dorm • Twilights last shirt • Danacodes • New series • 16 • Gcses • Thought he was good • Doctor brown • New teacher • Not mister- doctor • Woofs and meows • Friend joe • Dog biscuits in drawer • Broken cds • Coffee cups disappear • Dan saw coffee cup • 20 dirty coffee mugs • Everyone looked • Locking people in cupboard • Singing alpha theme song • Translate in French • Csi • Had clothes in drawers • All go home bc dr brown • Runaway teacher • awkward silence • I️ was abused as a child • Vanished • Hilarious teacher • Got C • Sadness • Pom bear massacure was good (last video) • Excited from Easter Dan Mail 3 May 11 P-24 D-19 • I️ love you robot shirt • In dorm • Sunglasses they fall • Conclusion to trilogy • Sorry for being ugly • Other idk • Summer here • Wasp • Guess 13 minutes • Cool names • John and Susan • Star sign is Gemini • Such a strong man • Never throws away • Likes girl band kpop • Another boy yayyy • Not going to small things • Drops camera • Also lovemaking wrist accessories • Danmark • Plays wow • Another boy yes • Card that represents maturity • Where’s free socks? • 2005 on MySpace likes into shakari • I️ must be depressed • Ninja Jew • Tongue tattoos • Does one • Fire • Banana trumpet edit fail • Handlebar mushdash would suit him • Fantasy about you in bed bath fantasy about cutting him open while naked Phil watches tied up • Bra • Playboy perfume • Valentines cards for him and Phil • Would be breaking guidelines if shown • Creepy doll with hair • O_____x • Next dan mail at home bc he’s going home for spring break • Text saying it’s now may 11 and already filmed I️t • Delia Smith Gamer girls are HAWT June 7 P-24 D-19 • At Phil’s place • Graphic tee • Bi annual vlog • Raped and pillaged by vids • Filming at his flat for no reason • Background boring jazz I️t up • Gets pillow • Hair at lion mane • 2nd June finished exams • Woke up in morning of each exam and wrote notes • Don’t-do-don’t deserve to pass • Paying to procrastinate • Good luck! • I️t only gets worse as u get older • Last year in La... • Don’t like Wii U • But u probs don’t care • Do girls like games • Mario with grandma • Guitar hero is good • Question applies to boys too • Going to be 20 • Tramantic • Complete child • Youngest youtuber • Still young and pretty • Vyou • Redesigning website • 5000 unanswered • Going back soon • Video ideas • Would you rather • Him and friend playing • Don’t know you friend will be lol • Phil • PHIL IS WEARING CORNIELA SHIRT I️ THINK • mildly sexual • Ask me ask me ask me! • Byeeee • Totoro dancing • Delia Smith I️ Am Mexican Aug 15 P-24 D-20 • In Phil’s place • In black couch • Time machine • Was in Sicily for two weeks • Zelda? Watercolour shirt • Shorts • Looks black/ Mexican • P offensive • Jumpcut to his room • Clothes everywhere • Filmed two things at Sicily • Snorkelling • Jumpcut • Bright blue trunks • Music • Evil Black Sea urchins • Death balls • Last day at catacombs • Dead bodies • Freaky but awesome • Wall of dead babies • Reading festival • Reading and Leeds • Every year at end of August • Wristbands • Been for last four years • Doche patrol • Thin wrists so they make him look less like Ethiopian orphan • Nice to have color • Pictures • With two guys and girl sitting at knees • Other dude • One guy has purple hair • Tents • Best moments in live • Good camper • Did I️ mention I’m going with Phil • Come stalk me • Looking forward to mcr • Muse is reason he and Phil had to go • Twilights last • 10th anniversary • Origin of symmetry his and Phil’s all time fav album • Highlight • Lost Dan Mail 4 video file • Comment best live bands • Muse, arcade fire, the prodigy, rage against machine, panic • Shorts • Red pants • His and Phil’s new apartment • Gif of him on breakfast bar • Bloopers • Traditionally Aeroplane Adventures 2- with danisnotonfire Sept 15 P-24 D-20 • Saying title • Zoom on face • Had cold which is why he sounds like duck • Chris and pj • Chris won contest • Phil next to Dan • Free seats • Cheese tray and chicken salad • Lemon scented hand towel • Free champagne • Phil laughs • Phil shouted at him for blowing bubbles • *embarrassed Phil wishes I️ didn’t exist • Coffin toilets • Us four are least business class people • There is not enough business in this class • Theo pthetis • From dragons den • On same flight • Phil pointed I️t out • Anticlimax • In robe endscreen • Music EPIC PRANK OFF! Dec 1 P-24 D-20 • In room at new apartment • Bright blue shirt • Wirrow drawing above bed • Blue stripped pillows • Tv in side • Guitar hero stuff • Other side of bed • Video contest • Prank off • From mr wiggly things • Don’t prank pets • Pillow on door and Phil walks in • Phil wearing plaid blue • Do you want a Ribena- yeah please- shoots him- • On laptop • Party popper • Phil in shower • Robert Patterson • Porn on computer • Salt in coffee • Their laughs sound same aw • Dribbled all over himself • Goes to get dan • Washes out mouth • 500 pounds • 5 best get Danisnotonfire tshirt • Powder in Phil’s hair dryer • On same side of bed • I️ hate you • Worst day ever • Making sequel to this called death of Dan If Dan was a Suerhero.. Dec 21 P-24 D-20 • On couch against wall • Party tricks • Flip wrists • Dining room table • Pick up chicks • Hippo noise • Film chronicle shirt video contest • Satrodophone poke song • Polar bears on face • Phil says he isn’t talented • Llamas kill everyone • Famous places • World becomes llama • Calming music at end 2012 Narcoleptic Laptop Feb 3 P-25 D-20 Deleted PRANK WINNERS! Deleted danisnotonfire Next Vlogger! May 6 P- 25 D-20 • Sitting on bed, camera is facing door • Joker t shirt • Bulky computer • Black comforter • Blue, black, and tan ish pillow • My name is dan • Known as Danisnotonfire • Made YouTube account 2006 • Oct 12, 2006 • Was 14 years old (haha same as me!) • And nothing I️ could do about I️t • British from Workingham • Currently lives in Manchester • Tell people stories of horrific experiences to himself • Near death experiences- Jamaica jumping off cliff clip plays • Cut to Manchester uni sweatshirt annoying people in cinemas • Time mum red browsing history • Llama hat in that • Vlogging communicates with people on personal level • When he says he stabbed someone bc no left hand scissors an gets comment ‘FAG’ • User blurred out • Think got wrong one • PaigeeStudd- basically saying I️ feel you • Makes I️t worthwhile • Channel is support group for people who hate peoples • Excited *effects* about next vlogger take vids to next level • Tapes lamp shade to ceiling for lighting • Better vids to laugh at • Danisnotonfire outro SuperNote 2012- THE LLAMARMY Oct 1 P- 25 D-21 • Black screen w/- “we are interrupting the normal Dan broadcasting schedule.” • Woah Dan this isn’t a Thursday • In living room • Eclipse shirt • Thursday still happening • Looks bare- old shelf • Team captain of supernote 2012 • Wearing bracelet? • Ended up winning • 2008 • YouTube community • Longest note out of mouth • You guys if want to join my team • Sexy, sad, manly • Video response • Police car outside • Team name: llamarmy • P big deal • You guys post vid responses, bullying him in comments, edit his face onto giraffes • Sweatpants grey • Longest note, llama hat and danasaur t shirt • And personal note • Others win totoros and wrist bands • Wow old vid • Phil comes in • Wearing grey make videos everyday shirt • Aww Phil looks so cute • Phil’s going to win • High five that hurts • Phil wearing llama hat • Phil lower note • ‘Dan you are so hot’ written below • Dan lasts longer • Underdogs • Get lots of people • Deadline Oct 31 • Danisnotonfire outro • Galaxy end Life’s Unanswerable Questions Oct 12 P-25 D-21 • Collab with Alex day • Wearing multicoloured tee • Sitting in front of fire place • Tetris lights • Hello internet • Unanswerable questions annoy • Found website in comic sans • Erradicate I️t • He likes to share opinions • What came first chicken or egg- egg • Tree would make sound • Bothers him • Ate tounge what would taste like • Tried to fail and succeed what have you done • Dan answers with sandwhich • Color is mirror • I️t has no color • Chameleon • Car at speed of light turn on headlights • Paradox • Can guy names nick have nickname • 4 out of 5 diahrea enjoy I️t? • Marsquakes-no • What is the speed of dark • Why can’t woman put mascara on with mouth closed • Dictionary in dictionary? Yes • What is meaning of life • Sirens • Best way to lose weight- cut self in half • Dan believes in aliens • Aliens aren’t going to look weirder than jellyfish • Bus driver closedoor • Can cry underwater • How old would you be if didn’t know your age • Someone vanished w/o trace how do people know missing • Timmy for a decade • Don’t try to get people to like you for the wrong reasons • Outro • Sexy endscreen dance • More interesting than space endscreen Men vs Women Dec 8 P-25 D-21 • On couch • B/w Brit flag pillow • Camp and grey t shirt • Earrings that are multicoloured • Which sex has is harder • Cat ears • Carrie • Opinions aren’t meant to be taken seriously black screen • Hit I️t rn • Getting kicked in balls or giving birth • Rly hurts • Guys never ask to be kicked in ball again • Squeezing watermelon out of ass • Dan wasn’t aware girls couldn’t lie on front • Nipples are useless • Joy of lactation • Man can’t have multiple orgasms • Sucks • Men get arosed and no one knows • Old ladies read 50 shades • Think grandma • Men can pee standing up and that sucks • Girls can multitask • What is so bad about periods • Don’t get into argument • Don’t ask if I’m Period • Dan had done that • Bleeding out of penis forever • Women live longer • Men don’t understand women have I️t harder • Women win • Debated in comments • Both sexy endscreen 2013 GOOD NEWS EVERYONE Jan 12 P-25 D-21 • In living room • Black long t shirt • So cold • Spicky jumper from topman • Jump in jeans • Repression how hardcore he is while life • Ryan from X factor wearing I️t • Burn I️t? • Mouse in bedroom • Trying to catch I️t humanity • BBC radio 1 • Phil comes next to him • Phil’s been making him not swear • Every Sunday unless they get fired • Watch entire show • 7-9 pm • Phil in blue sweashirt • Schedules • He’s loosey goosy uploading • Shit looking photos need more of • YouTube angry mob • You tubers don’t follow through • Dan Unspecific • Video on school • Never really talked about • Have nice day unless I’m Jamaica then I hate you bc you’re warm • Endscreen zooming on house objects w/ sexy music 2014 Dan and Phil SIM SURPRISE PHONE CALL! Dec 18 P-27 D-23 • In gaming room • Dan in horn hoodie • Phil in purple sh jumper • No pillows in back • Surprise calling random person • Phil is scared • Awkward on phone • Oh my goddd • Person is freaking out • Casey • Was just doing hw • English hw about them • How much she fangirls about them • Did you see photo of dan at bbc in Dino onesie • Not saying I️ hate but that was terrible • Told Phil about cat dying on YouTube • Watching for 2 Years • Collab- so many favs • Fav animal llama • Sorry about Phil • I️ need to tweet about this • That was so funny • Animal impression helps • Maybe next victim 2015 HOW TO PARTICIPATE IN THE DAN AND PHIL TOUR Oct 4 P- 28 D- 24 • Sitting in theatre looking behind chairs • Lots of stuff on stage • Rehearsal space • Dan in eclipse • Phil in constallion lion • 5 days • More tickets • Oct 8- Nov 4 • Danandphilbook.com • Want audience participation • Come hour early • 7 sec, weird kid, isg, crafts • P.O. box videos from back in day • Might not be able to keep I️t • Thinking about people from rest of world • Dan winks • Phil does I️t too to help 2016 HOW TO PARTICIPATE IN THE DAN AND PHIL TOUR! April 19 P-29 D-24 • In dressing room • From 360? • Dan in plain black t • Phil in show attire • Sup-a-de-fiddle • Dried mango • Cool creative ways • Arrive early • 7 sec, • Show box • Weird kid, show examples • Craft examples • No bigger than medium otter • Can’t keep them • Phil said mems • Chow • For now • Was that necessary? HOW TO GET INVOLVED IN #TATINOF Aug 12 P-29 D-25 • In same room • Oh it’s same video lol

[theoddcatlady]

A Work of Art

When you’re a broke actor, you’ll take any job thrown your way.

I was one of those broke actors. I hadn’t caught my ‘big break’ yet. I’d go to every audition, and throw my heart and soul into each part. But the most I got out of it was a few plays and almost a commercial, if I hadn’t gotten appendicitis two days before we began shooting. I was immediately replaced and they didn’t attempt to make contact again.

So I was broke, the landlord was banging down my door, and I was going to cry if I didn’t nail something soon.

Celia was my neighbor and fellow actor. She had bouncy blonde curls and a chipper attitude that couldn’t be let down, no matter how many times she was turned down. She kept me going really, while we ate dinners of cheap ramen noodles and searched the internet for more work.

‘We’ll get our big breaks! Just wait!’

Then she told me about a modeling job that she’d gotten both of us.

I’m not much of a model. It just wasn’t a route I intended on going, besides, I was starting to bald prematurely. But she insisted that she’d gotten it for both of us, and that it would pay great cash as long as we showed up and posed.

I admit it, I was ready for it. So after I got on my nicest clothes and made sure to shave, we got on the bus and headed to the place.

It was a studio on the nicer side of town, and the door was answered by a man with a thick accent and a very white smile that stood out sharply with his dark tan. “Welcome! Welcome! Come on in, make yourselves comfortable.”

Celia was handed an envelope and the man shook her hand. “Thank you once again, Celia. Don’t worry, ah, Andy was it? I’ve just worked with Celia before, don’t worry, you’ll be paid after you’re finished. Just take a seat by the others and get comfortable.”

I was one of maybe three male models, the other six being women. I took my seat besides identical brunettes, one with her hair hanging past her shoulders and the other with her hair in a messy bun. “I’m Andy,” I said.

The one with her hair in the bun giggled. “I’m Gwen. This is my twin sister, Gertie. Who referred you?”

“Friend.” I eyed the table in front of us, with grapes and fruit. “… Are we allowed to eat those or…”

Gwen laughed. “I mean, he said just do what’s natural, so,” She picked up a bunch of the grapes and held one up to my lips, “Say ahhh…”

Once I loosened up, things really got fun. The other models were having fun. The man, apparently a photographer, broke out the camera and just started taking shots. We weren’t called to do anything really specific, maybe adjust our bodies so we faced the camera more or smiled more. It was a great time, I knew not every job would be like this but perhaps I should take up modeling more often.

When the photos were done, Celia got up. She’d been having a great time chatting up one of the guys but now she looked ill. “Um, Andy? I’m gonna wait outside, I don’t feel so good.”

“Eat something bad?” I guessed. I mean, we did just gorge ourselves on fruit and wine, maybe it just wasn’t sitting in her stomach.

Celia grimaced. “I think it’s… just nerves or something. I’ll feed your cat,” She said before walking outside.

Feed my cat? I’d be back tonight.

I didn’t get much time to think about it when the photographer returned with a woman from the back room. I hadn’t seen her when I came in, then again, I really couldn’t make out her face, she was wearing a black hood.

“Everyone? Strike a final pose, please!”

After being told to do so all day, it only became natural, even though he hadn’t gotten the camera out.

The woman removed her hood.

I can’t really describe the sensation of being slowly petrified. I suppose it’s similar to that static feeling in your legs when they fall asleep, except over your entire body. My cheeks went numb, my eyes went dry and my eyelids refused to close. My lips parted but only for a second, to permanently stay.

I was stone.

I couldn’t move.

The woman stepped forward, her hair crawling and writhing around her shoulders. Her slitted eyes danced across the statues. Then she smiled, her fangs glinting in the photo lights of the room.

“My love, Alex. You have done so well.”

The man put on sunglasses before he turned and placed a kiss on her scaly green cheek. “Demetra, my dearest. It’s not hard to find those desperate for cash. I just had to make them relax before I could let you at them.”

Demetra nodded before she paced around the room, examining each statue she had created. “Oh, do not fret, darling! You have your art as well. I would never intervene with it, it’s almost as charming as my gift.” She paused by me and cocked her head. “… I rather like this one, we can keep him.”

“But he’s so plain!” Alex proclaimed in shock.

Demetra giggled and ran her clawed fingers over my cheek.

“But that’s why I want him, Alex. He’s plain, yes, but there’s a uniqueness about him. The curve of his nose, maybe. Or his eyes. They’re so full of soul!” She wrapped her arms around me and her hair crawled over me, its soft tongues buzzing against my stone skin. I wanted to scream, to run, but I couldn’t even twitch.

Alex sighed. “Fine, I’ll place him over in the corner.”

The two of them picked me up and left me sitting to face the others. I could see each one now. Gwen was still gripping a wine glass, which had turned to stone. Her eyebrows were slightly raised, questioning what the situation was. Gertie wasn’t so slow to react. Her face was twisted in horror, her hands raised in defense from something she could not defend.

Demetra hummed, examining each one. “I think we can get a lot of money out of most of these… except for her.” She sneered at Gertie. “She ruined it, damn her soul.” Demetra strode over to the corner, shedding her hooded coat. I could make out tattoos crawling over her back and shoulders, thick, black, and tribal in design. “I’ll dispose of her. It would give me great pleasure to do so.”

She walked back into my line of sight with a sledgehammer.

I screamed as she lifted it and took it down on Gertie’s head. The statue shattered, pieces flying across the floor and dust rising in the air. I wanted to scream at least. All I could do was stare.

Demetra smiled. “Clean it up, Alex. Then put these ones up for sale.” She dropped the sledgehammer and strode back over to me, kneeling down and stroking my chest.

“You are lucky, you know.” Her dry lips pecked my cheek as I continued to stare blankly at the models in front of me.

“I don’t keep many of my statues.”