#he’s a fussy old man but i’m not into it because *i* am the fussy old man

[loveoaths]

okay. two more ultimate Star Wars sins i must confess to committing: i do not find obi wan hot at all, and i thought anakin was hot when i was a 9 year old boy but not anymore.

[plussizeappreciationfics]

Can I request Bill skarsgard x plus! size reader/ Tom Hiddleston so Tom and the reader were dating but Tom cheated on her so she moved on with Bill Skarsgard they got married had kids a whole happy ending for the reader

Sorry for the long wait hun, here you go!!

„Any last words? “, you whispered to your now ex-boyfriend Tom. The British actor shook his head in and bowed his head in shame, just having watched you back your final belongs all while your best friend was waiting outside in your car.

You couldn’t help but let out a frustrated scoff while shaking your head in disapproval. “Really? An hour ago, you had no issues counting all my flaws and reasons why you decided to cheat on me with your friend…”. Tom sighed and shook his head again, still avoiding your piercing glare by playing with his tall fingers. You couldn’t describe the hot and burning anger burning all the way deep in your chest as you continued to shoot daggers at your ex-boyfriend.

“Well, I hope that she was worth it. Look at me and tell me that she was worth throwing away our three-year relationship, Tom”, you demanded with a cold tone. Tom finally lifted his head and looked straight at you, a part of him felt sorry that he had put you through so much betrayal, pain, and misery, but his blue eyes also showed something else. Another emotion. You squinted your eyes and stared at him without saying a word.

“(Y/N), I am very sorry that I cheated on you, but what Zawe and I have is something else…Something better.”.

A lump formed in your throat that was almost impossible to swallow as the tears started to brim your eyes, but you silently refused to give Tom the benefit of seeing you cry and break down again. You had wasted enough tears because of this man. His eyes showed relief. Relief that he now could be honest about his feelings and continue his life with his newfound love.

“Zawe is worth it. I know this must be so fucking hard for you to hear but I want to set my feelings straight. I regret cheating but not the fact that I ‘ve found the love I’ve always wanted. I’m sorry that you’re not it.

Fucking hell, this man had all the audacity and no shame whatsoever.

You nodded your head in pure disappointment and pursed your lips, still trying to swallow the disrespectful words that were just thrown at you. You lifted the final duffel bag and threw it over your shoulder, just wanting to disappear.

“You don’t even deserve any final words from me. “, you hissed and with this turned around and left your once shared bedroom, waiting until you had left Tom’s house and had hopped into your car where your best friend already was waiting to comfort you. You couldn’t even form any words, she had seen the look on your face before waiting until you had put your seatbelt on to give you a quick hug, glaring daggers at Tom’s house and silently wishing him the worst.

Your best friend made sure that you were somewhat stable before driving away, wishing that she could take away all your pain. To have witnessed you losing the man you loved so much was also very hard for her.

5 years later

“Bill” you giggled and watched your husband plant gentle kisses over your swollen stomach, your unborn daughter kicking in euphoria as she loved having her father’s attention. It was about nine a.m., your two-year-old son was still asleep after having a fussy night filled with lots of cries but also cuddles and reassurance that he wasn’t alone and very much loved. You and Bill soaked the silence in and just waited for your little ray of sunshine to wake up and fill your day with laughter and silliness.

Your husband pecked your stomach a few more times and chuckled gently when his daughter showed that she wanted more love by poking her tiny foot out of your left side of your stomach. “Oof”, you sighed and laughed, wondering how something so small could be yet so strong.

“Hey, don’t hurt mommy, ok? She’s taking such good care of you, your brother and me. We all love her so much”, your husband praised before shifting his position so that he was lying right next to you, his hand now gently placed on your stomach and staring lovingly into your beautiful eyes.

You couldn’t help but melt away at this beautiful sight, your heart swelling in your chest as you felt pure happiness and peace slowly tingle through your body. The pregnancy was going fine, and you only had two more months left before your daughter would grace the world with her presence, completing your beautiful family. Bill was the best thing that had ever happened to you.

“I love you so much, (Y/N)”, your husband whispered and gently caressed your soft cheek, drinking in the breathtaking sight of the love of his life just lying there, looking like a goddess. Pride and joy filled his heart as he shook his head in astonishment, still not being able to comprehend the fact that he had to absolute honor of having you in his life, carrying life inside you.

All you could do was whisper that you loved him back while grinning from ear to hear. Bill pulled you closer and let his head rest in the crook of your neck, inhaling and humming in pleasure when your delicate scent hit his nostrils. You closed your eyes and just remember all the beautiful memories you’ve mad with this man.

How weird was it that just years ago, your heart got so destroyed that you had lost all hopes of finding love again. The days and nights you had spent crying yourself to sleep while having your entourage and the social media flaunt the relationship of your ex right in your face. Even going offline and deleting all your social media accounts didn’t help because you were constantly faced with a fact or sight of your ex enjoying his life with his now fiancé and their toddler. You had to quit your job, move away before the deep wound in your heart was able to slowly heal.

And now here you were, lying in bed with the love of your life and enjoying this peaceful moment.

“Mama! Dada!” the voice of your son rang through the room as your baby monitor blinked, notifying that your son was now wide awake. You and Bill both looked at the small screen placed on your nightstand with a wide smile on your faces. The little ball of pure joyous energy was now conscious and ready to turn your day upside down with silliness and laughter. “I’ll get the little man and prepare breakfast for us, my love. You stay still and enjoy a few more minutes and peace and quietness” your husband chuckled before pressing a tender kiss on your mouth, which let your lips tingle and yearn for more kisses. “Thanks”, you whispered before closing your eyes and laughing while your son starting singing a made up song while tumbling around in his small bed, already wreaking havoc.

-Emmanuelle

@ctrlszn l @baggyfaggy l @automaticdelusionstudent l @thefemfem l @ah-blossom l @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes

[80ssunflower]

He gets fussy when I spend too much time reading 😂🥹

This is Baxter! My little man, he’s 9 years old and HATES it when I am sat reading or just on my phone in general because it means I’m not paying attention to him 😂

You’ll be seeing a lot of him🙌

[bigbrainkatrina]

In All the Gin Joints in All the World, He Asks For Coco Moo

"Ah, I'm fuming, Sheila," Drew explains as if that is a very normal hobby. "You remember my arch-foe, James Possible?"

She snorts. Arch-foe. Dumb. "Yes," she chuckles.

"This is his daughter," he growls and then says in an annoyingly shrill voice, "She can do anything!"

"Uh huh," she laughs. "Bitter much?"

i. try the coco moo. it's soothing.

You meet the most interesting characters working late nights in Go City. Weekdays especially. That's what draws out the real sad sacks.

She almost laughs at this Poindexter the second he saunters into her bar. Body so thin and springy, he wobbles like a penguin with each kick of the squeaky shoe. His glasses are unflattering at best, crooked and likely snatched from an old man just trying to read his paper in the park. And God — that suit! Navy blue sport coat with a clip-on bowtie from a party supply store.

Poindexter looks so oblivious looking over the seedy tavern with beady eyes, so it surprises her when his voice scratches like a dog bark and he slouches into the bar and spits, "Appletini. More on the apple, less on the tini and in separate glasses please."

She groans and leans towards him. "Uh huh. Well you know what they pay me for, right?"

He shakes his oblong head. "I'm unfamiliar. A genius like me spends most of their time at coffee shops and libraries, not riff-raff like this, but my dear, it has been a day."

Ah, his braggadocio brings out the nasally underpinnings to his deep voice.

"Uh huh," she drawls. "Cool backstory. Anyways, I'm paid to put a lot of apple and a little bit o' tini into a metal shaker and shakey-shake 'em. Then I give it to you. If you're gonna be a fussy cuss, you can just buy the full bottles and I'll give you your own glass and shaker."

The man scratches his chin — wow, his fingers are like a baby's. So tiny she's surprised they can even bend. "Mm, I would — but then Mother would call me and ask why I spent so much on a bottle of tini."

"Your mother?!"

"Mm yes — well — it's my account — she just — erm — has access to it…" he grumbles and his cheeks glow like mulberries.

"It's not actually called tini by the way but alright," she smirks and slides three glasses over to him. Apple, tini, and whatever Poindexter whatever proportions Poindexter wants it to become. "Closed or open tab?"

"Depends — do you have Coco Moo?"

"What?"

"Nyrgh. Closed tab."

He hands her his debit card and while she doesn't do this for everyone — she sneaks a peekaboo at the name because he's just so much. She needs a name to her pain. "Andrew Lipsky?"

"Yes," his eyes nervously scroll elsewhere. "But if you want to see my work, you can internet my pseudonym: Doctor Drakken!"

Internet my name — what the flip is this guy talking about? She almost asks but spots some regulars somehow managing to jam their entire party of four through the same door frame at once. Ugh. She hands the card back to Poindexter and winds up getting slammed with a rush.

Poindexter gets aggravated early into the rush (it's very noisy) and slaps his notebook shut, leaving behind a very specific clump of cash as a tip. When she has time for it, she counts it off and finds that it's a perfect 15%.

Huh.

ii. to prove that i'm brillianter than the lot of them

If you asked her why exactly he likes her joint so much, she could not even fake a response. But Poindexter struts in every night, at least every night she works. She's a part-timer after all. Monday through Thursday, eight to two thirty AM with one half hour break at eleven. All her other weekday time is devoted to studying — she's a sophomore at Go City U — paying through the nose to get herself a teaching degree so she doesn't need a side hustle anymore.

Well — her weekend life isn't really a side hustle. Her dumb lummox of a brother calls it that — she calls it a charity case. She's actually not that into it — crime fighting that is — but she does have superpowers and regrettably loves violence — so it'd be weird if she wasn't out there saving the world.

It's just part time anywho.

Her big brother though? He wants her to quit the bartending gig and drop out of college because duh um Shego! the city needs you blagh gurmp I'm really stupid. So not happening. Unlike her brothers who never questioned their reality, she has direction. She studies hard and works for those tips because one day — she's blowing this joint. No more superhero antics for her.

God, she's a freakin' superhero. That'll never roll right off the tongue. But yep, she's got the key to the city and everything. You already know who she is. The moody green one from Team Go. And she's the only one with her head on straight. Mego, Wego, Hego — God, she can't believe she let them call her Shego.

To be fair, her pitches — Fuckgo, Shitgo, Pissgo — though brilliant names, were a little juvenile and she should have known better.

iii. the traditional captive - captor relationship

Poindexter ends up being such a character. Beyond that pocket protectin' exterior — he is committed to being a regular at this bar, though he still hasn't decided on his drink yet. But he always ventures to see if the bar has introduced Coco Moo yet, the answer always being no.

So every night is a new concoction. Even an apple with only a bit o' tini is too much for the guy to stomach. She doesn't get what the appeal is for him but he always shows up, and he always sits in the same seat and takes up three other stools with his backpack and binders.

When she has time, she hears him out. He loves the sound of his own voice and over time, his rants become an anthology of all the times that people laughed him out of something. Like the time the kids laughed him off the four square court. Or the time he got laughed off stage in a high school performance of The Tragedy of Julius Caesar. Or the time James Possible laughed him out of college.

Yes, yes. James Possible. She has no idea who that schlub is but he comes up a lot. James Possible this and James Possible that, ugh. She starts to hate James Possible too, if only for making a neat bookends to Poindexter's pathetic life of rejection.

It's about a month into him coming to her bar that he officially becomes a regular. He struts in as always and her coworker elbows her in the ribs. "God, I hate that guy," the coworker growls. "He never fucking tips."

Huh. Weird.

She doesn't know what to say because whenever she serves him, Drew tips a solid 25%.

iv. fo'sheezy it's off the heezy

It's not every night you come out from the kitchen and find that your favorite customer has turned blue, and yet here we are.

He doesn't even seem stressed out about it. No, he's just leafing through the drink menu as always, trying to find something (that regrettably isn't Coco Moo) that could possibly give him some semblance of happiness.

She almost wonders if he's even noticed his new look but she knows she should give him more credit, so she hangs in the back kitchen for a little bit until she can think of a joke. Because something about him being blue is making her anxious, she is so not coming out until she can properly defuse the whole thing.

After ten minutes, she decides to go with the first joke she came up with, even though that now feels stale and disingenuine. But she sells it as an off-the-cuff gag when she leans in and snarks, "Wow. Violet Beauregarde over here, huh?"

Drew looks over his glasses and slides them back up. "Ha ha. And that's not a funny ha ha...but, — mhrm, it is a funny story. You see — it was a Tuesday…"

She rolls her eyes. "Eh, I'm good on storytime." Drew's smile falters and for a moment he actually seems disappointed. But no — he loves it when she kicks his teeth in like that. It's probably because his mom was too nice to him.

There's a quick flush of lime across her own cheeks but she tosses it off. "By the way, I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" he licks his lips.

She holds up two fingers and retreats back to the kitchen, already biting her lip. She really doesn't want to go through with this but it's too late now. There's a simmering pot of homemade hot chocolate waiting for her — or rather, him.

She's embarrassed to say but she actually came in early to prepare this: two cups of whole milk, a quarter cup of sugar, two tablespoons of cocoa powder, a cup of chocolate chips, a teaspoon of vanilla extract, and a cinnamon stick. Simmering for hours with the occasional stir. She used the extra time to power through her homework much to the chagrin of the kitchen staff but no one dared give her any lip — she was scary as Hell after all.

She pops out of the kitchen with two steaming mugs in hand and slides one in front of Drew. His gasp of joy ("COCO MOO?!") is so endearingly shrill she can't help but stare as he slurps the drink all over his face. His eyes shine as his lips purse inward, a chocolate mustache spread across his apelike maw. He leans in and raises an eyebrow to her and very cooly says three words that shake her to the core. "You do care."

She fails to fight off an authentic smile and sits across him. They clink mugs and bottoms up.

v. i'm going to open up a can of freak on all of you

Aviarius is always up to some nonsense. Bird Boy says he's taking over the world but she can never quite make the connection as to how his actions will tangibly lead to absolute, infallible power. Hego says that's because she has no imagination, but really it's because their arch-foe is dumber than a sack of bricks. But Hego won't hear it. Dude's positively convinced that Aviarius is Public Enemy #1.

But will her brother kill the dastardly foe? No, of course not. Moral high ground and all that. Hego has all the power in the world and uses it for — what exactly? Sure, big man likes to pin the baddie to the ground and lecture him on the differences between right and wrong — but...big picture?

That's nothing.

Aviarius is deluded to think that he'll actually conquer the world. There's a few months where she's pretty sure he's in on the joke — but no he's dead serious. He's as career about this as Hego.

So every Sunday morning Aviarius pops up and robs a bank acting like this is it — his big break. And Hego takes it so seriously, and of course Team Go downs the bird once again and locks him up in the pokey. Yet somehow the cops are dumber than the villains and Aviarius flies again.

And Hego is scandalized! Aviarius boasts and brags as if a prison escape actually means something nowadays — though it's the equivalent of climbing out of the baby crib.

God, is there anyone in this city with two brain cells to rub together?

So she does something a little — ah — morally iffy? She — erm — she sabotages a classic Aviarius caper. Yes, she lets him get away. Because fuck it, why not. Possible change in the routine, and an opportunity for Hego to understand how fruitless this rivalry is.

"My Gods," Hego is shaken to the core as he watches Aviarius' silhouette dissolve in the sunlight. "We — we failed the planet. Team Go. We must not rest until we stop Aviarius. It could be this very moment that the mad man takes over the world."

She rolls her eyes and grabs her brother's burly shoulder. "Hey."

"Oh don't give me that look Shego!" Hego growls. "You'll see! You'll be talking about him in your political science class tomorrow! The ramifications of what it's like to live under a totalitarian mastermind!"

"Hego!" her voice catches in her throat. Are they really doing this right now? "Aviarius is an idiot who ran off with a big bag of money but guess what? Everyone knows his ugly mug! You think he can go around spending any of that? No! Chill. Out."

Hego makes to say something but instead sniffles. His bulking frame folds in on itself and he storms off.

Guess not. Today's not the day it implodes. She feels the metaphorical blood dripping from her mouth and wishes there was more of a smackdown in her town….

She feels bad — watching the Big Kahuna drag a thick arm across his nosey-wosey to wipe away the tears and snot. This is actually her fault after all. She sabotaged the mission and now she's starting to wonder what possibly motivated her to allow that.

It's just — petty. She's petty and has some work to do.

vi. ah, my teenage foe

It's been a month since Aviarius' hollow victory and surprise surprise — nothing of any significance happens. Except Coco Moo is officially added to the menu at the bar. While the drink is obviously cheaper than anything else on the menu, Poindexter tips tremendous percentages that mirror the money she used to get off him when he was weaning into over-priced self-destruction.

But this night — the game changes a little. Poindexter doesn't have much to talk about and in fact, he hasn't even brought his notebooks; his backpack is still strapped tight to his blazer.

This is the first night he asks for the Wi-Fi password and it take her a few minutes to actually find it somewhere in the employee handbook. He spends hours pouring over his laptop, tossing headphones on when the late night riff raff storms in to make a ruckus. She tries to make small talk with him but he merely grumbles indecipherable words like "Uhrm...nyrgh…" so she gives it a rest until her lunch break.

Ever since she started working here, she used her lunch breaks to go out for a smoke break and fit in some reading for school — and even though finals are coming up — she uses the half hour to slide onto the stool besides Drew. But he's too focused to even notice her, so she peers over his shoulder.

Kim Possible: She Can Do Anything!

She raises an eyebrow and looks over the site. It's some twelve year old cheerleader who is apparently saving the world with this dumb looking kid and his naked mole rat. Also available for babysitting gigs?

Weird.

The name too. Kim Possible. Why does that sound familiar?

"Yo, Doctor D!" she finally says.

Drew yelps and turns to face her, his blush is purple now because of the perma-blue skin. Super weird but she's also used to it. "Um...hello Sheila."

"You're not using our Wi-Fi to look at porn are you?"

"Huh? No! Wh—what is porn actually? Perhaps I am using it for that…"

She stares at him for so long and he doesn't even flinch, so she is forced to put a pin on that and steam ahead. "Don't worry about it. But um...seriously, what are you doing?"

"Ah, I'm fuming, Sheila," Drew explains as if that is a very normal hobby. "You remember my arch-foe, James Possible?"

She snorts. Arch-foe. Dumb. "Yes," she chuckles.

"This is his daughter," he growls and then says in an annoyingly shrill voice, "She can do anything!"

"Uh huh," she laughs. "Bitter much?"

Drew's face drops and he blushes. "Well my hubbub with James was a formative experience for me and to see his daughter do so well — out of sheer luck at that — "

He grumbles some other things but she stays hung up on the sheer luck part because that's a weird thing to say. So she asks him about it.

"Mm," Drew pauses and purses his lips. "I have a theory — see — this site is called kimpossible.com yes? Well — there's also impossible.com — for Team Impossible — you've heard of them I trust?"

Is it weird for a bartender to have heard of Team Impossible? Maybe? But of course she knows them and fuck it, she actually likes Drew so she tells the truth and nods. Strange she has to mull that over for so long, usually she's more knee-jerk in conversations, but something about Drew makes her want to be careful. Because this friendship might actually mean something one day.

Drew goes on to explain his theory that Kim Possible's first contact was actually trying to reach out to Team Impossible but made a typo...fascinating stuff really. Makes sense too, it's just one letter off.

But she can't stop thinking about Team Impossible…see, it was a week ago that she met them; it was for an interview. She likes their style, this whole capitalist heroism angle. Charging people for their services. Makes sense. The lack of a paycheck is why she can't stomach taking time for Team Go anymore. Freakin' bartending at minimum wage pays the bills. Not superhero antics. Those don't do her any favors. Hego refuses to accept any payment. Because of morals.

What freakin' ever.

Team Impossible turn her down though. They give her some corporate schlock about how their team isn't a good fit for her but she sees right through them; the boys' club just doesn't want to split the cut with her. Well. Okay. They will rue the day they — ugh. She's starting to internally rant like Doctor D.

By the end of the conversation, she's actually proud of Little Kimmie for knocking Team Impossible down a peg. But on the flippity, she hates this brat because once again, a hero who doesn't accept payment is storming the scene and that makes it harder for gals like her….

Gals who just want to put a roof over their head.

vii. has society gone completely to seed

She hates ceremonies — like, she already accomplished the thing, why does she have to show off? It's done. She's not a student anymore, she's alumni. Summa cum laude baby.

And see — now she's annoyed. She wouldn't have been annoyed if she didn't have to doll up for this dumb thing but guess what? She paid for extra tickets and guess who decided not to come anyways? Ah-yup-yup. There's an empty metal chair with a reserved sign over it. She's not stupid; she can tell that the Wegos duplicated themselves to fill out their row.

God fucking damn you Hego.

Among the black storm of everyone throwing tasseled caps in the air she peaces out. Enough is enough. "Where is he?" she growls at Mego.

Mego throws his hands up. "Listen, I don't want a fight right now — how about we just take you out and celebrate?"

"No. Where. Is. He?"

Mego looks aside and grumbles something. Sounds like Aviarius. Unfuckingbelievable. She snarls and spits. "Fuck him," she says coldly. "Seriously. Fuck him."

"I know, he's being a bit of a bonehead — " Mego starts to say.

" — a bit?"

"Okay, a lot of bonehead, I dunno," Mego shrugs. "Fuck, don't take it out on me. Listen if you want to fight let's just do it and get it over with, okay? You can yell and scream all you want right now, but when we're done we're going out — and we're not gonna talk about this — and we're gonna get fucked up. It'll be fun."

There's a long pause. "Should we go home?" the Wegos ask together.

"Yes," she and Mego say together.

After the twins depart, Mego looks her right in the eye. "Hego wants you to exchange your college hours for Team Go hours — "

" — no. I've already committed that time to the bar."

"To the bar?" Mego doesn't mean to sound judgmental but oho — he's really going through the motions of it. "I thought you wanted to be a teacher."

"Yes — what?! It's my job you ass — just because you decided to freeload in Go Tower and not worry about actually trying — you know what? Fuck it. I don't care."

It's not the first time a conversation between them has gone like this, and it's not the last, so Mego doesn't bother. They part ways and she feels kind of gross. He does too, because she's right. She's always been right, but it's easier to call her a crazy bitch and be done with it. But when the chips are down? No duh — Team Go is squandering on borrowed time.

She's shaking for some reason. It's weird. She's quit Team Go like seventeen times — oddly enough she's never thrown in the towel when Hego's around. Only with Mego, whom she actually kind of likes. And she always comes back. Be it a day or a few weeks, she comes back, ready to brawl.

This time though, it takes three months for her to return.

viii. do you think that I'm evil

"Nyrgh…"

"What are you grumbling about tonight? You're kinda pissing me off."

Drew looks up, looking worse than ever. He used to have such good posture — now he's a hunched over lunatic with darting eyes. "Demenz," he says simply.

"Oh God, what is it this time?" she shakes her head. "Did he call you Violet Beauregarde? Because you can tell him I came up with that joke three years ago."

"No, he hasn't quite found his nickname for me yet fortunately — " Drew ponders but shrugs it off. "Demenz invented the weather disruptor machine I've been working on."

"So? He invented it." Drew doesn't even bat an eye so she has to continue her lecture. "He obviously came up with it before you did, if that's what you're implying."

"Ah!" Drew waves a finger in the air. "I did not steal from him! No! I — I invented it too! You see, I came up with the concept independently!"

"Mhm," she smiles wryly.

"He can just build faster because he has an army of henchmen. It's not fair!" he pouts.

Yep. There it is. Another red flag. Drew's been throwing up a lot of them lately; she already knows he's a mad scientist aspiring to be a wacked out supervillain, but he's way too much of a softy for that field. She almost wants to sit Drew down and tell him the honest-to-god truth: that she is a superhero. Then she can give him some real talk pointers on how to get his act together.

Because this Kim Possible kid now? She's huge. She like saved the world six times or something last week. Like she's already graduated from fighting off goons like Aviarius. If Drew — Drakken — wants to compete — then he needs to let go of this stupid James Possible grudge and actually do the work.

"You know Doctor D," she says while wiping off a dusty glass. "You should just steal the weather gizmo from him if you want it that bad."

"Hm?"

"Steal it! You know — spooky evil stuff."

"Aaaaaah…evil..." Drew mulls it over and pulls back his stupid pompadour into a ragged ponytail. "Stealing, huh? Well — I prefer to call that outsourcing and either way, I don't have the manpower to do that, I'm a one-man band."

And that's the end of that for some time.

ix. you think you're all that

Drew gets banned from the bar one night. She's not even there to see it. Apparently Drew comes in with Demenz for drinks on a night she wasn't working and they got into a bit of a spat. Something about Dementor calling him the Genie from Aladdin, and Drew calling Dementor Winnie the Pooh.

Yeah. Dumb. Drew could have cooked up something better. He really needs to spend more time journaling so he can be faster on the uptake.

But there's a spat and that spat becomes a brawl. Everyone starts smashing things and at the center of it is her snivelling Poindexter. It's nights like these that she wishes she helped him out with the whole evil thing because Jesus Christ — someone beats the tar out of him. Yeah. A glass shatters across Drew's face and those splintered shards dig deep. He's got this gnarly scar running down his cheek, leading from the corner of his eye.

Honestly, he got off easy. With the mouth on him it's a wonder he didn't get into more trouble...but yeah, someone got the drop on him and now — that villainy career? It's probably over now. Poindexter doesn't have the moxie. How can he not see that by now?

She feels sad for him. Not enough to go visit him at the hospital but — there was — potential? He had this spark and it could have been fun but now...

...now she's catching herself brewing Drew's Coco Moo. She stops when she realizes he's not coming. She considers drinking it alone but pours it out into the sink.

x. but you're not

By day, she's a superhero. By night, she's a bartender. And every moment in between she's hungry.

She's addicted to job applications. At first she is very selective on what she applies for but there aren't any biters. When she does get lucky enough to score an interview, she hits the employers with everything she's got and somehow never gets a call back. Not even an email. So after some desperate months of that, she just applies everywhere.

She remodels her resume and draws up cover letters as if she's a full time writer. She can sell a book out of her stupid please hire me diatribes. But nothing seems to land and after six months of ten applications a day with no interviews — she gives up.

Because fuck it. It's not her that's the problem, it's the world that doesn't get when they're seeing gold and she's not going to wait up anymore.

So she becomes full time at the bar for some reason. She doesn't know why. Everyone she started with four years ago has moved on to bigger and better things — probably — she just kind of assumes those people are happier than her. The only thing that's consistent are the regulars — aside from Doctor D.

She thinks about him more often than she'd like to admit. She gazes at the door when she punches in, wondering if they'll push open to reveal that ungodly strut he always marched in with. Months pass by as if they're nothing and he never returns.

xi. i do think of us as kind of an evil family

The only reason they're at the chemical labs that night is because Aviarius and Mathter are teaming up to do — something. Who cares anymore. She just shows up because it's an opportunity for her to beat the crap out of someone.

But while she's sneaking around, she sees a man crouched over a safe. He's grumbling very loudly and is apparently deaf because he doesn't hear her footsteps pattering across the metal girder.

Gross, dry black hair, rattail, awful posture, tiny digits, and Violet Beauregarde skin peeping past the high-collar of his coat — oh God.

She squats down and watches him fuck up the safe combination again. He pulls out a notebook and reads off the numbers out loud. "Thirty six...twenty one...four. What — what am I doing wrong?"

She can't hold it anymore; it's like watching your teenager try to march out the door in that outfit. Like — honey no.

"Seriously?" she laughs.

You can hear a pin drop. For a second. And then you can't. Because Doctor Drakken shrieks and scrabbles away, but she grabs him by the boot and he trips into the safe. He looks at her and scrunches into a fetal position almost. Then he blinks and remembers her. "You're — you're — whatsername — the girl from the bar!"

She rolls her eyes but forgives him. Doctor D's not good with names. At least for people he actually likes.

"You're — " he stutters. "A superhero!"

She just grins and lets him process it all on his own.

"You're — you're Shego! Oh that makes sense — your name is Sheila Go, isn't it? I don't know how I didn't get that."

"Eh, most people don't somehow. Everyone in this city's an idiot so…."

"Mm, well I'm no idiot, I'm a genius!" Drakken declares. "I just seem to have copied the safe combination down wrong.

She rolls her eyes. "Are you kidding me with that? Dude, Doctor D, you never use the combination. Those change all the time — you want to bring the equipment — here. Move over."

Her fist lights up into a brilliant emerald and Drakken needs no reminding that he better back up. Her hand closes in on the safe and the metal immediately lights up at the intensity. It's hard to hold a flare this long — but for him? For him it's kinda worth it. So she drags her hand through the safe until she burns a little hole out and pow — the metal gap ker-thunks to the floor.

"So — you're helping me then?" he asks.

Her eyes widen a little. "I guess I am, huh?"

There's such an uncomfortably long silence that it almost makes more sense to kiss him than do what she is about to do.

"I don't want to do Team Go anymore, it's dumb," she shrugs, trying to play it cool. It's not like these thoughts have been tormenting her for years or anything.

"Ah, and I do need an assistant," Drakken grins something surprisingly charming. It's not like he's been a loser with no friends except the bartender ever since James Possible got him kicked out of college.

"I'm def not your assistant, but I'll do with partners."

"Sidekick?"

"Partners."

"Henchwoman?"

"No. Partners."

Drakken eyes her as if any second the cameras are about to swarm him from all over and broadcast his naivete and gullibility all across America. But no one comes.

"We'll stop you Aviarius!" Hego proclaims from waaaay across the lab, saying it with the relish of an actor who can deliver a line one hundred times and somehow always keep it fresh. "Even if it's the last thing I do."

She snaps and grabs his tiny hands, making the decision for him, rocking his arm up and down. "We'll talk logistics and titles later — let's steal the cash before my brother trounces that idiot. Drakken's your monicker right?" She wants it to sound like she didn't already know that — but she's no phony. Not like Hego. And Drakken sees right through the I-don't-give-a-fuck-facade.

He nods along anywho. Because he likes the banter.

She grins. "Good. Doctor Drakken and Shego. I like it. Kinda like Frankenstein and Igor — "

Drakken raises a finger to make the exact same point that just came to her mind.

"So not a lab assistant," she shuts that down fast and laughs as he droops like a rapidly wilting flower. "But we're going to make a big time villain out of you, Doctor."

He smiles and finally grips her hand back.

"Partners," they say together.

[daincrediblegg]

2, 9, 11, 12, 22?

2. Do you read/reread your own fics? It really honestly kindof depends on the fandom on this one. Generally speaking when I put some creative thing out there of any kind I am loathe to re-watch or re-read it (with the exception of looking at my own fanart- unless it was especially bad I love looking back at some of my old stuff just for the sheer thrill of seeing how much progress I’ve made) BUtT!!!! There is the exception of when it’s like. I’m either in a fandom in which the character I like gets character assassinated in fics a lot of the time and I need enrichment from outside sources or my own. OR when I’m just in a fandom where people don’t write x reader fics that much for the character and I’m the only one writing them and I have to re-read myself bc that’s the only content out there (current predicament re; everything Jared Harris has been in and it’s a crime that I’ve spent the whole year trying to remedy lmao).

9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written!

OK SO!!!! This was actually a couple of paragraphs I got down yesterday and it’s some of the more solid stuff I’ve put out in recent months, but I’m very proud of how it turned out:

Sinclair was never particularly fussy when it came to her appearance, which made changing for dinner a fairly brief affair. She had learned from an early age that there was certainly no room for such attentions on a ship, and in fact had great fun in witnessing first-time sea-faring ladies, passengers of course on The Demeter, who tried to keep their appearances in spite of the swell and sway of the high seas. She remembered fondly then, the laugh of Mrs. Rose Anthony. How she’d wished to hear it now and all these months gone past. She would have laughed to see Fitzjames on the deck this morning, with that ridiculous cloak flowing behind him like a peacock with his feathers at half mast. None of the men would see it as she did. Not that she was in too much want of friends among them. But fewer still would understand her sense of humor as Rose had.  Pondering this, Sinclair forewent her shirt and waistcoat- both of which were custom tailored, as it wouldn’t do for the navy to commission such a garment. But her father had, for her sake. One of his many parting gifts. The very same man whose picture Sinclair’s gaze drifted to as she buttoned the deep blue bodice that had also been part of the set he had purchased for her, this one long sleeved to match the deep blue flannel day skirt she kept on, and which had served her so well in the chilly climate. She’d missed too how well he’d been able to do her hair for an occasion like this, where Sinclair now only managed a bun tied fairly neatly to the back of her head (more than she’d dare to manage for her daily duties, she might add), but it suited her all the same for the impression Sir John, and indeed, most of the men had of her. Neat as a pin. Diligent. A fixture of a plain sort of beauty in the corner. Never the center of their attentions, but never quite ignored.

12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it!

As I said in the other ask I have like. Just so many. None of them coherent- but THIS ONE has been my instrumental inspiration for a little while so there you have it. Someday I will consolidate all my fave lady terror vibes into a proper playlist... but that is not today...

22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?

I mean… sort of. Like in general I do like to have some kind of sense where something is going before I start it- if it’s anything I’ve learned from commercial failures like GOT and the Star Wars Sequels it’s that poor planning will fucking kill you because actually as it turns out narrative structure is important. But at the same time- I think this was a quote from George R.R. Martin that some writers are “builders” who have everything pre-conceived before they put anything down (in reference to Stephen King), and some are “gardeners” (like George) who let stories just grow as they go. For me personally I’ve never felt too tied to either camp, so I put forth my secret third option being: “chef”. I know what I want the end-product to be. I have a general sense of what it should taste like and how I should cook it-thematically speaking. But things still come up as I go. Sometimes it needs a bit more of one spice than another and I try to listen to those instincts when they tell me to add something to what I’m making. 

11 ANSWERED HERE

[tveitertotwrites]

40

Series: Open Heart

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Claire Evans)

Word Count: 1602

Summary: It's Ethan's 40th birthday

A/n: So, I tried to have this up earlier but I didn't like it so I had to fix some things before I uploaded.

To say that Ethan was surprised to wake up and to see that Claire wasn’t in bed would be an understatement. He knows that Claire would never willingly get up before 9 am and as it was 7:43 according to his watch, he knew that he was in for some sort of surprise. As much as he hated his birthday, because his mother ruined it for him, but celebrating it with Claire and their 5 month old son, Oliver made it much more enjoyable.

Ethan slowly made his way out of bed and got dressed. There had been a few times where Claire had woken up before him and surprised him, and everytime that he had gotten up and out of bed, Claire had yelled at him and told him to go back to their bed but he didn’t care. He slowly walked over to the door of Oliver’s nursery, making sure to make as little noise as possible.

Ethan closed the door to Oliver’s room and then walked over to his crib to see him just waking up, seeing his father smiling at him, which made the little boy giggle. Ethan gently picked Oliver up and changed his diaper before heading over to the rocking chair. He started to rock his son while rubbing his back. He also started to hum a part of one of Claire’s favorite song mixes from Moulin Rouge, since he had just bought tickets recently.

Ethan heard Claire walk past the nursery door and towards their bedroom, where she obviously didn’t see Ethan in. She looked in their bedroom and bathroom for a little bit before walking over to the door of the nursery and gently opening it. Claire peeked her head inside and saw Ethan and Oliver over at the chair. She then smiled as she fully came into the room and walked over to her husband and her son. She gave Oliver a kiss on the crown of his head and Ethan a quick peck on the lips.

“Good morning you two. How did you sleep?”

“As well as I possibly could have. Also, good morning my love.”

Ethan gently placed his free hand under Claire’s chin and pulled her in for a kiss. Their son then looked up and giggled at the two of them, which made both Claire and Ethan laugh. Claire then gently took Oliver into her arms as Ethan got ready to stand up, groaning as he did so.

“Wow. Now you’re really an old man now. Just need to dye your hair a little more gray and you’ll be complete.”

Ethan rolled his eyes. “I’m 40 years old Rookie, not 60. Also I just had my legs in an uncomfortable position, no need to put me in a retirement home yet.”

“I know. Just wanted to mess with you a little bit.” Claire said while laughing.

Ethan shook his head and smiled before pulling Claire in for another kiss and gently grabbing her hand and walked towards their dining room. He then slowly let go of her hand to pull out a chair for her, which she had started to object to, but Ethan had insisted as Oliver had started to get fussy in his mother’s arms. Ethan then went into the kitchen and plated food for the two of them as Claire fed their son. He set both of their plates down on the table and went back to make the two of them some coffee. By the time he had returned, Claire was just finishing up with feeding Oliver and was about to burp him before setting him down in his highchair.

Both Claire and Ethan decided to eat in silence this morning. As much as they enjoyed having morning conversations, they also enjoyed the times when they could just admire each other’s presences. When the two of them were done, Claire grabbed their plates and walked over to the sink to wash them along with the other dirty dishes. Ethan then stood up and gently grabbed Oliver out of his highchair and walked over to Claire and wrapped his free hand around her waist. When she was done, Claire turned around and put her hands on the sides of Ethan’s face and pulled him in for a kiss before putting away the leftover food.

Every year on his birthday up until last year, Ethan would spend his birthday working to keep himself busy. Since his mother left not long before his birthday, working would help him take his mind off of it. Once Claire and himself were officially together, he realized he didn’t need to worry about any thought coming into his mind. So now Claire makes sure that Ethan has his birthday off to spend with their friends and family.

Ethan and Claire spent the rest of the morning playing with their son as best as they could while having the TV on as background noise. Then they all got dressed and walked to Ethan’s car to go to Derry Roasters before going shopping. As they were standing in line to get their drinks, Ethan kept staring at Claire, admiring her beauty. She wasn’t paying attention to Ethan as she was making faces at Oliver, which made Ethan smile. Once they had gotten their coffee, they went back into the car to go shopping for some last minute items for their dinner with their friends and family.

Claire and Ethan had just started making dinner when both Alan and Naveen had arrived at the apartment. Not long after Tobias and Adelaide arrived, also bringing in a couple bottles of Ethan’s favorite scotch as a present. Next was Rowan and Jackie, Odette and Rafeal, and Atlas and Sienna, who all went to go play with Oliver and the two dogs, Jenner and Luna. Aurora, Elijah and Bryce were the last ones to arrive, also coming in making different old man jabs at Ethan.

“Claire, why are you making grandpa do most of the work.” Bryce said while walking into the kitchen and dining area.

“Oh shut it Lahela. Do you want to eat or not?”

“Well if we don’t count your dad or Dr. Banerji, you are the old man of the group.” Elijah stated.

Ethan rolled his eyes as Claire and himself finished making dinner. When they were done, they set all of the food onto the island in their kitchen and started the line for everyone to grab their food. Once everyone was settled in their seats with their food and their drink of choice, Claire stood up and grabbed her glass before clearing her throat.

“If i could just have everyone’s attention for a moment it would be very appreciated.”

Everyone looked up from their food and realized what was going on except for Ethan. Everyone around him had their glasses in their hands and when he realized that Claire was smiling at him, he sighed and held up his glass in his hand.

“I would just like to thank everyone for coming today. I know the person we are all here for acts like he would rather have dinner with just me and Oliver, but I know very very very…”

“Yeah yeah we get it.” Ethan muttered, making everyone else laugh.

“...Very deep down, he knows that he wouldn’t want it any other way and I would like to take a moment to talk about how important he is to all of us, but mostly me.”

Claire took a second to take a deep breath and look at Ethan, who had a small smile adorning his face. She had been staring for a little while when Bryce cleared his throat, causing Claire to come out of her trance and look at everyone else at the table.

“As I was saying, there are not enough words to describe what Ethan means to me. He’s loyal, smart, sometimes kind, sometimes a pain in the ass, compassionate, sometimes annoying, sometimes grumpy…”

“Ok Rookie.”

“But what’s most important is that he’s allowed me to love him and allowed all of us to love him in our own ways and I couldn’t be happier. So I will end this by saying ‘Happy birthday’ and I love you.”

Everyone raised their glasses into the air and wished Ethan a happy birthday as their drinks collided. Ethan gave everyone a small smile and thanked them all before everyone dug into their food. Once dinner was over and everyone had left, Claire closed the door and found that Ethan and Oliver were nowhere to be seen. She then decided to go look in the nursery and saw that Ethan was just finishing up with putting Oliver to bed. He then turned around and saw Claire in the doorway before walking over to her.

“He was getting tired so I figured I would put him to bed.” Ethan said.

“Ok. I have some surprises for you.”

Claire gently took his hand and brought him into the kitchen. She then went over to the fridge and pulled out a cardboard box. She set it down next to Ethan and opened it, to which he saw a small cake with white and blue frosting and “40” written in blue icing on top.

“Do you like it? I had Sienna make it for you.” Claire said.

Ethan smiled at her and kissed her temple. “I love it. Thank you, love.”

The two of them smiled at each other as they dug into the cake and spent the rest of the night in each other’s company, making this one of Ethan’s best birthdays yet.

Perma tags: @bendriversolo @crazy-loca-blog @rookiemartin @zahrachoices

Ethan Only: @cariantha @ofmischiefandmedicine​

@openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations

[cherrping]

Searching for a Roy/Riza 1x1

I am forever Royai trash and always looking forward to roleplaying it with anyone. I love sending head canons and plotting up kooky things. I don’t mind playing either Roy or Riza. Canon, Canon divergent, or AU I can plot and brainstorm on.

I have plots under the cut.

A few things about me:

She/Her, 33 Years old, and prefer to rp with 21+

I do enjoy romance in my rps, it makes it fun for me but I don’t ask for it to be the end all and be all.

I am a lazy-lit, semi-lit I guess? I enjoy fast-paced rps. I don’t mind if you send me a one-liner. I prefer typing 1-3 paragraphs. If you want to send more 4+, go ahead! I don’t want to feel like I’m limiting your creativity.

I post at least once a day. If things come up, you want to change the plot, or you are no longer interested please tell me. I promise I won’t get upset.

Also, if you want to do multiple RPs, that’s perfectly fine with me!

You can poke me to reply. I sometimes forget to hit send or think I replied when reality tells me I didn’t.

I prefer to rp 3rd POV in paragraphs. Willing to do action RPs if in the mood.

I prefer to RP with women (cis and trans) only or people who use she/her/they/NB pronouns. No offense to the guys but I’ve had too many bad experiences and creepy men wanting to rp out kinks and fetishes I want no part of.

I don’t mind getting to know my partner OOC-wise. I understand if you want it to be strictly IC. I rp over discord.

But I do enjoy gushing about head canons and this pairing

I do find it fun to do IC chatstyle rps while waiting for posts if you like things like that.

I’m pretty flexible about gender. I don’t mind playing male or female roles.

I don’t mind a bit of darkness in my rps but I do like to balance it out with fluff.

message me if interested!

red string of fate. - What if they could see the string that connected them their entire life. They spent years trying to sever it only to think deeply about it once they see the string finally fray? (bonus if there's a mental bond too.)

I just woke up from a 6 month coma and I don’t remember anything about the past 5 years but that’s kind of okay because as a trade-off this gorgeous stranger sitting at my bedside is saying he’s my husband

Possibly modern or normal timeline Royai AU:

Roy considered Van Hohenheim an old acquaintance but hadn't heard from him in years. Which wasn't out of the ordinary for the man, he comes and goes with his own time and rhythm. Which was out of the ordinary when he was asked to care for his children as his ward. Roy was hesitant for a moment, he was a busy military man and doubted he could properly care for any children. With a little convincing from Hughes (and a discussion of how the public loves a good feel feel-good story), he decided to take them on.

Riza considered this to be one more thing added to her plate, wondering how Roy could possibly handle this but she was caught by surprise seeing how well he adapted to fatherhood despite taking on two very traumatized boys.

Modern AU

Can be done with or without alchemy, can be discussed more.

It was rare that Roy took Hughes's offer to set him up on a blind date, but decided to do so to help shut him up. He counted his blessing when Hughes found an endlessly charming woman for him but felt a spray of cold water when she told him she didn't want to meet him again. At a loss of words, he agreed.

The next day, the color nearly drained from his skin when he saw his newest transfer from Briggs was the woman he went on a date with last night.

‘you’re my normally really pedantic and fussy assistant so i get really confused when you start sending me office memos with typos of randomly added letters turns out the added letters spell out a declaration of your love for me’

'my really stern and strict (but secretly nice) boss and i have to fly somewhere on a business trip and during the plane ride she fell asleep on my shoulder she looks so cute and peaceful i’m melting on the inside’

I fell in love with you three lifetimes ago and I’ve been looking for you ever since but I’ve been starting to give up and my friends’s new crush has your eyes and oh god I’m not going to steal someone’s date just because I’m hoping you’re the person I met in a past life (jk yes I am)

We only remember each other in alternating lifetimes so every lifetime we have to find one another and convince each other that we’re soul mates but half the time I won’t believe you and half the time you’re already dating someone else

“I’VE BEEN TEXTING MY FRIEND FOR ABT A WEEK NOW AND THEY DONT REPLY BUT TURNS OUT I WAS TEXTING A RANDOM PERSON AND THERE WAS SOME DEEP PERSONAL STUFF I SENT OH MY GOD WHY ARE THEY CALLING ME NOW?” AU (+BONUS IF THE PERSON CALLS AT 2AM)

[what-if-nct]

hi i exist and i had a dream about me having eggs with jj0ng. it’s safe to say that i’m finally undepressed and i’m writing a story on ao3.

which leads me to my question, how do you stop yourself from procrastinating? idk if you know, but i wanted to ask in case if you did. i do like your posts as always even though i’m shy to make any tumblr posts as of this time. i had just introduced myself to live journal and i’m using it just to make fake old posts of me thirsting over shinee, tvxq and snsd because i miss that era of being a kpop fan and i wish i lived through it myself. every time someone screams “my ovaries” would make my heart cry. i miss teenagers being… well… teenagers. it’s sad that we might not see golden content like these anymore, but at least i have a space to act like i did because i’m delulu and need to be stopped.

Hii! Wholesome dreams are definitely a true antidepressant. Oh I procrastinate all the time. I even procrastinate eating and putting up my groceries. Like I don't buy milk, eggs or real meat. It's fine but there's still hummus, cheese and tofu so after i remember that i do it. But something I do that does help me especially with posts is I give myself a deadline like you have this post half written in your drafts try to get it finished by the end of the week and give yourself an incentive. Like if I clean my closet by the end of today I can buy my whole shopping cart on whatever site I want. I think cause that's how it was when I was a kid. After school or summer camp especially if we were fussy in the morning our grandma would have some kind of treat or toy for us when we got back so we knew if we go to school that means we'll get a hula hoop or ice cream or cookie when we got back. So I think you should try rewarding yourself for when you finally do something you've been meaning to do. I hope that is helpful for you. Also don't feel guilty if you don't do something you can always change your idea if the current one isn't inspiring you I do that all the time and it always works out better than your original idea. I was a kpop fan around that time. I totally remember the my ovaries or my ovaries exploded thing. I see some current version of that and it's like "I am ovulating right now I can't handle this" but I think its usually like people a little older at least I just follow people around my age.. I've definitely said it But I think just creating that atmosphere for yourself is great. I have noticed that a lot of younger fans are extremely puritanical I've never seen anything like it. I was like 15 when I became a kpop fan so it was different and even fans of elvis and the Beatles were similar in the 50s and 60s. Like not even jokes about idols smoking are even allowed. Like honey that's a grown man. It's okay he smokes and it's okay when especially adults find him sexy when he's behaving in a sexy manner that's the idea. It's only a problem when that's all you see them for and all they are to you is a sex symbol thats the only time it's a problem. It's fine if you don't want to do that I especially think so if it's a 30 year old man probably dont do that. But don't shame those who do it when it's called for. I think it's just the vicious attacks I have a problem with. I will never forgive Armys for what they did to cupcakke, she's the same age as Jungkook for goodness sake.

[peninkwrites]

A Patchwork Powder Keg - Ch 10 of 14

George is briefly asked to do his job. Sam and Sapnap have a chat about old times.

[CW: referenced past character death. c!Dream for like a minute.]

crossposted to ao3

Ch 1

Ch 9

Ch 11

Mafia AU masterpost

~ Sapnap & Sam ~

Sapnap reenters the station after his talk with Ant, feeling like his own thoughts are eating him alive.  The only person who might understand would normally be in this very station, instead he’s unconscious in a hospital bed.  George hasn’t moved from his desk, scanning some paperwork.

“What was that about, then?” George asks disinterestedly.

“Nothing… uh, family stuff,” Sapnap half lies.

“I thought you didn’t talk to your family.”

“I don’t.”

George hums, not really curious, more intrigued by whatever is in front of him.

“What’re you looking at?” Sapnap tries to focus on the task at hand, looking over George’s shoulders.  “Other reports from last night?  Did something else go down?”

“Not particularly,” George shrugs.  “This morning some anxious civilian called in about a pry bar stuck in his car’s window.”

“Car theft?”

“No, but probably attempted.  It’s just that they left their pry bar.  They didn’t just give up, take the bar and go, they left it there.  Blood on the street too,” George says dully.

“Blood?  You didn’t think to mention that first?”

“It wasn’t a lot.  We sent an officer over just because the man was being so fussy, and it looks like there might’ve been a scuffle.  Maybe mobs getting territorial about who’s stealing cars where, it’s probably nothing,” George says, but he continues to stare at the paperwork.  There isn’t much else in the area, especially from that late at night.  Earlier reports are smaller, a mugging at sundown, apparently two thieves stole a bunch of paint cans earlier–

“Wait, look,” Sapnap points out the incident.

“Yeah?” George says dryly.  “Paint?”

“Yeah, spray paint, dude.  We saw that weird graffiti, come on, it makes sense, right?” Sapnap says.

“You think they’re connected?”

“I mean, I’m not saying it’s smart of whoever these people are to steal paint and immediately use it to mark off their crimes, but it tracks.  D’you wanna go talk to the shop staff with me?” Sapnap is perhaps too eager to have a distraction.

George sighs, pressing his forehead to his desk.  “We just went out,” he whines.  “I think I should… I should stay here, and hold down the fort.”

“You think the dozen officers already here can’t do that?” Sapnap teases him.

“Okay, why don’t you drag along one of them?” George says gloomily.

“Because they’re not my buddy, my good pal George,” Sapnap croons dramatically.  “Come on, I can’t drag Dream along with me ‘cause he’s gotta do Lieutenant stuff now– or Captain stuff I guess, I dunno– so it’s gotta be you!”

George gives him a look.  “Fine.”

“Yes!” Sapnap heads outside with a skip in his step, George trailing behind him.  “Ha!  I knew you’d wanna come.  I am way more fun than desk duty.”

“I disagree, but sure.”

Sapnap heads to the address in the report, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel, turning up the radio and singing as obnoxiously as he can until George threatens to get out his gun.

The store clerk doesn’t look particularly pleased to see them when they enter.  “Can I help you, boys?”

“Yeah.  I’m Officer Halo, my partner and I are following up on a report that was made yesterday,” Sapnap says.

He looks unimpressed.  “I already made my report.  Look, I just needed the paperwork for inventory credit purposes so I wouldn’t have to pay for it.  I’m not expecting you to solve the mystery of the missing paint cans, alright?”

Right.  East side.  No one likes cops.

“Well, it’s actually relevant to another investigation,” Sapnap pushes.

“What color paints were stolen yesterday?” George asks, staring around at the shelves without much interest.

“You want like, the colors?  And that’s relevant to your investigation?”

“Could you just tell us?” George gets sharper.

The man sighs, mulling it over.  “Two cans of solid black, one brick red, one sun yellow gloss, and one true blue.”

Sapnap gives George a pointed look, not wanting to blurt out I told you so! with a civilian there.

George refuses to acknowledge it.  “And could you describe who stole them?  There were two of them, right?  You didn’t give us much more descriptors than that.”

“I’m not expecting you to catch them.  No point,” the man shrugs.  “Fine.  One was a scrappy kid, a teenager.  Well, they both looked a little rough, I assumed homeless.  Kid was skinny and tall, blond, talked my fucking ear off, and the other one was older, not a kid, also tall.  Brown hair.  Dickhead wore a big coat he stuffed full of paint cans.”

“Right, so, not exactly hardened criminals,” George says dryly, giving Sapnap his own look.

“And they didn’t hold you up?  Or threaten you?  The guy shoved paint cans in his pockets and what, they just walked out?” Sapnap asks.

“No they didn’t hold me up,” the man scoffs at the idea.  “The kid could’ve been fourteen.  I saw the older one with the paint, told them I was calling you lot, and they ran.  Which is what I expected.”

“Anything else?” Sapnap asks.

“Nope.  I do think the younger one was the one who planned it, put the older guy up to it.  He yelled at him before they ran,” the man actually looks amused.

“Right,” George gives Sapnap another look, clearly ready to leave.  “Well, thank you for your time.”

Sapnap follows him out.  “I mean, it seems like they definitely are the ones who painted that stuff, but they don’t sound like… like they’d be able to murder a mob boss, y’know?”

“Yeah, but if it is a bigger crime ring coming up, they could’ve sent some lackeys to get the paint,” George points out.

“Yeah, I guess,” Sapnap shrugs.  Something about all of this doesn’t sit right with him.  They head back to the station, Dream is waiting, annoyed.

“Where have you two been?” Dream asks.

“Just–” Sapnap doesn’t know why he feels like he’s being scolded.  “Following up on something.  Why?”

“Sam is awake,” Dream says.  “I can’t go check on him, I don’t have the time, but I know you wanted to.”

“Y-Yeah, I can go there right away,” Sapnap nods.

“Good.  Ask him what happened last night,” Dream says.  “Dismissed,” is his offhanded way of goodbye.

Sapnap and George exchange puzzled looks.

“He’s probably just… just stressed, taking over for Sam,” Sapnap tries.

George shrugs.  “Yeah.  Sure.  That’s the second time you’ve had me running around, I’m gonna stay here this time.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.  I’ll tell Sam you said hi or something,” Sapnap says.  “Let me know if anything else comes up on those two guys who stole paint.”

“Why?  You think it means anything?”

“I dunno, feel like it’s… not familiar, but–” Sapnap shakes his head.  “Probably nothing.”

“Let you know if that changes, I guess,” George settles back in at his desk, and Sapnap heads to the hospital.

Sam wakes up in a hospital room alone.  He doesn’t know why upon waking, he expected Ponk to be there.  That moment of confusion when he woke, heard the heart rate monitor, smelled the scent of disinfectant of a hospital, and wondered why Ponk wasn't holding his hand.  He'd looked around the room, and realized they weren't asleep in a chair beside him either.  Then he wakes enough to remember why.  Right.  A nurse, a stranger, comes into the room soon after.  They look him over, and ask if he wants to call someone.

Sam doesn’t have anyone to call, not really.  Just work.  “I need my team here.  Just… just call the police station.”

Sam lays awake, alone and in pain, for the 30 minutes it takes for Sapnap to arrive.  He takes inventory.  Both of his legs are in casts, his fingers too.  Breathing hurts, so he’s guessing busted ribs.  He cannot help but think bitterly that he surely hadn’t hurt Ponk anywhere near as bad.  It’s not comparable.  It’s not fair.  All of those people had to have their share of flesh.  Sam doesn’t understand it. 

There's a knock.  Sam almost tries to sit up when Sapnap enters.  He can’t.

“Hey, man.  How are you?” Sapnap winces, eyeing him over.  “I, uh.  I brought you coffee.  Donuts too, but I dunno, maybe that’s a cliche.”

“Funny,” Sam says hoarsely.  Sapnap is at least someone he knows personally, that should make him feel a little less alone, but somehow all Sam can think to talk about is work.  “How’s the squad holding up without me?”

“Uh, okay,” Sapnap looks uneasy, setting down the coffee and box of donuts beside the bed before taking a seat in a chair, the one Sam had assumed Ponk would be waiting for him in.  Stupid of him.  “I mean, Dream took over like, immediately, and he’s, y’know how he is, takes the job seriously.  So, it’s not gonna burn down any time soon.  But, I’m sure he’s worried about you too.  I know I’ve been waiting for you to wake up.”

Sam feels almost touched, more so pathetic.  “Right.”

A heavy pause.  Sapnap clearly wanting to say something, but unsure if he should.  “So, uh.  I’m not gonna make this all official, you don’t need like, instructions on how to make a witness statement, so.  What… What happened?”

Sam hates this.  He could name any of the people he had seen last night, he could have half of them arrested.  The retaliation would make his suffering the night before look like child’s play.  He’d been worried about them hurting Fran then, if he arrested them in response…

Then again, it’s not a typical officer.  It’s Sapnap.  He understands better than most.

“Some of the mob, some random locals, who knows.  A lot of people.  Showed up and…” Sam stares at the wall, he doesn’t want to see Sapnap’s expression, whether pity or understanding or even blame.  “Well.  I’ve got nothing to prove it, but I’m guessing they showed up on Ponk’s orders.”

“Orders?” Sapnap almost laughs.  “What, you think Ponk’s giving out orders now?  To who?”

“Okay, well, not orders then, but… for them.  I don’t know.  It doesn’t really matter, does it?  You and I both know those people can get away with anything without consequences,” Sam says bitterly.

Sapnap nods, but his thoughts seem somewhere else.  They are.  Sapnap feels like it’s selfish, unfair even to bring up what’s weighing on his mind considering Sam’s burdens at present, but he doesn’t know what else to do with himself.  He needs to share this weight with someone else, someone who will understand, and somehow Sam is all he’s got.

“Hey, uh, have you…” Sapnap doesn’t want to do this, he feels almost a burning in his gut, something like embarrassment, as if he’s admitting to something shameful.  “Have you heard from my dad at all lately?  Or Ant?  Or…” He doesn’t look at Sam, his hands fidget restlessly in his lap.  “Or Skeppy?”

Sapnap glances up and sees not only an expression indicating the affirmative, but something far more targeted, more affronted.  It almost scares him.

“Yeah, yeah I’ve heard from your dad recently,” Sam says icily.  “And from Ant, sure.  So, you know, then?  What the hell have they said to you?  I thought you were out of contact.  I thought we had both left that behind, Sapnap,” Sam is lecturing him from a hospital bed.

“Whoa, whoa, I dunno what you’re talking about, dude.  I have been out of contact.  It was–” Sapnap is weary.  “It was Ant.  He reached out to me about Skeppy.  Have you– What do you know?  What did my dad say?”

“Sapnap, really, you’re smarter than this.  When do you think I spoke with your father?  I left that all behind a long time ago, so in what goddamn situation would I have seen them?”  Sam gestures to his injuries.

“Really?” Sapnap wishes he were more surprised.  When he had asked Ant if he’d heard what happened to Sam, he’d done so deliberately.  He’d had a feeling, but still, it's different to hear it from him.  “And my dad too?  But he– Of course not…” Sapnap tries to keep his resentment quiet.  His father’s last pleading promises had been that he would go straight, that he would do better, and of course that hadn’t been the case.  Bad was at his best leading the Badlands, why would a son who won’t even talk to him keep him from that?

“But no, Skeppy wasn’t there.  Ant was, and so was your dad,” Sam sighs.  “Don’t worry, I didn’t tell him where you’re living nowadays.  It wasn’t a torture type situation, at least not one for information…”

“Skeppy is missing,” Sapnap just says it.

“He’s–” Sam stares at him, eyes narrowed.  “What do you mean missing?”

“They think taken.”

“Taken?  What nutjob would kidnap a high ranking mob official?  Do they have a death wish?”

Sapnap shrugs.  “I dunno, Ant didn’t really stick around to explain.  Actually, it all sorta makes sense.  I also asked if he’d heard what happened to you, and he said something about Ponk.”

“What about Ponk?” Sam is sharp, defensive.

“Nothing, nothing really, like.  Just… repeated what I said, asked if I’d heard what happened to them,” Sapnap raises his hands passively.  “I’m guessing you’re right about that part.  That’s why they went after you.”  Sapnap doesn’t want to feel an ounce of pride for his old family or his old life, especially not for attacking the man that had first shown him there was a way out, but seeing Ponk exhausted and defeated in an interrogation room with a busted nose had put him off a bit.  It felt like Sam was acting more like his younger self from the Badlands days.  Last Sapnap checked, they’d both left to get away from that kind of harshness.  It feels wrong, but it’s undeniable.  He feels just a hint of that old pride at his father attacking someone who, as far as he probably knew, had assaulted his own boyfriend.  That was the part of the Badlands Sapnap missed, or if not missed at least respected.  His dad was good at protecting people.  Just as he was good at hurting them.

“Of course… and Ant came to the police station?  Why?” Sam’s head is pounding, but he is trying very hard to piece things together anyway.

“Just to ask about Skeppy.  Oh!  Yeah,” Sapnap sits up, more excited now, maybe hoping Sam might have some insight, “JSchlatt’s corpse washed out of the river this morning.  Bullet between his eyes.  Somehow it got back to the Badlands, sort of, and Ant came in to make sure the dead mob boss wasn’t Skeppy.  That was his whole deal.”

“JSchlatt’s dead?” Sam is intrigued.  “Any leads on who did it?”

“No, not really.  There’s that body, and another one of Schlatt’s boys turned up dead a few streets over.  And there was like, graffiti around the area too.  Hey, you ever heard of crime boys?” Sapnap asks.

“Crime boys?” Sam frowns, puzzled.  “No, not at all.  That’s not Schlatt’s deal.  I’ve never heard of them, not from now or the old days.”

“That’s what the graffiti said.  So, George and I are thinking it’s probably connected, right?  All that shit turning up at the same time?”

“Maybe,” Sam is having a hard time thinking.  He’s guessing he’s on some pretty decent painkillers right now.  “Look, just–”  He sighs, even that breathing hurts his ribs.  “Keep me posted.  I know I won’t be able to get back to work any time soon, but I know Dream can handle it." Maybe Sam shouldn't send Sapnap away.  All it means is he'll spend hours alone and in pain, but he doesn't know what more there is for them to talk about.  Nothing that Sam wants to talk about, anyway.  "I’m… I feel terrible, obviously.  And I want to get some rest.”

Sapnap nods.  “Got it, Captain.  If you do want to drop any names of your assailants, let me know.”

Sam gives him a wry smirk.  “Yeah.  Right.  You know I can’t do that.  If the boys need information for the paperwork, just… just say they were all masked.”

“I will,” Sapnap says grudgingly.  He hates it.  It’s part of what he had run from all those years ago.  His family living a life of violence without consequence, although, if they hadn’t gone after Sam, it’s not like Sam would’ve faced any consequences for being so rough with Ponk.  Sapnap doesn’t know what to do with that thought.

“Sapnap, if your dad tries to get in touch with you…” Sam thinks his words over carefully, Sapnap listening, looking almost hopeful.  “...don’t let him, okay?  You’ve fought too hard to make it this far.  Don’t let him get you to throw it all away.”

Sapnap doesn't know what he expected, if he should feel disappointed or not.  “I won’t, Sam.  You know I won’t.  Besides, I don’t think my dad would have the guts to try and talk to me.  It’s been…” Sapnap buries the ache in his chest, just as he’s done his best to bury every bit of nostalgia he’s felt for the Badlands today.  “It’s been a long time, y’know?”

Sam hums his agreement.  “Yeah.  It has.”  A pause, Sam staring up at the paneled ceiling, doing his best not to let himself long for the past.  It’s harder now, when the only part of his past he’d wanted to keep had left him.  “I hope they find Skeppy.  Alive.”

They both are thinking of the same thing.  Years ago, that awful week ending in an even worse night.  Red Velvet missing for days and returned to Ant bloody and dead.  Sam had gone with Bad and gotten their reckoning.  Sapnap had stayed behind and watched Ant, a man he had always admired as strong and composed, break down under the weight of a loss that Sapnap, still only a teenager, had been unable to truly understand.

Sam had lost a friend that night, and he and Bad had found something worse inside of themselves.  When they found those responsible, well; Sam knows what happened to him the other night could have been a lot worse.  Back then, they had had no interest in leaving those men alive.  That changed things.  There had been far less restraint, especially when Sam had felt like the image of Velvet’s corpse had been burned into his eyes.  Bad’s wrath last night had been nothing compared to what they had done then.  He’s not proud of it.  Not anymore, at least.  Maybe knowing he was capable of that was part of what got Sam to leave.  That, and the impossible thought of Ponk turning up the same way as Velvet had.

“Yeah,” Sapnap feels like there’s a weight pressing down on him.  He cannot fathom his father surviving Skeppy’s death; they loved each other too much for that, it’s not something he even wants to consider.  “Me too.”

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

I do think Haley is a good and fitting person. But the age difference is too big in my opinion. What bothers me the most about this situation is the male privilege… Men have enough time to make experiences, build a career and then have children with a younger woman when they’re 40. Women have 10 years less. But our culture is not addressing the problem. So a lot more women end up either childless or without a career/ status.

i understand what you mean, but it’s not really a huge age gap given the fact that haley is nearly 30 herself. not so young that the difference is creepy, at least to me. anyway, here’s a bunch of thoughts lol

i think we’ll forever be stuck in this unequal power balance because men aren’t going to just concede a comfortable advantage they have and start working on the female timeline that exists because of a biological clock. realistically, why would they? nowadays women are doing all kinds of.. quite frankly, morally dubious and invasive medical procedures to have kids far past appropriate childbearing age. to include surrogacy, which is just the disturbing act of paying to rent another, potentially vulnerable or cash strapped woman’s womb. this tells you that loads of women will do the exact same thing (delay parenthood) if they can manage it. there’s so many variables - school, career, finding the right mate, becoming financially stable.. quite frankly it doesn’t make sense to be mad at men for being able to postpone the enormous undertaking of parenthood, but maybe shake a fist at god if you believe in him? 😬

anyhow, speaking more to the problems with our culture.. i can say that even successful women who “have it all” will follow a trajectory i don’t understand: work incredibly hard to establish their careers, find a mate, then balance adding motherhood into the mix while working just as many hours as her male SO, and still be burdened with the majority of the child rearing and emotional labor because they settled with a man who does not see them as equal partners in life. and he can just flee if she becomes too much of a nag! now, understand when i say this i’m not speaking to women in abusive or controlling relationships, but i really don’t know why this is something anyone would willingly sign up for. i know, i know; every stressed and depressed wife and mother who isn’t getting support would say they didn’t sign up for that, they imagined it’d be different. but i just can’t fathom being that divorced from reality. it’s far more unusual to find a man who has worked to make things a 50/50 split with his wife, or to find a man who stayed home with the kids so his wife could go to school and work to advance herself. am i the best person to assess this? as a lesbian for all actual intents and purposes (lol) who is adamantly childfree.. the answer is up for debate. but i think an interesting thing to ask is: in these age gap relationships where men find a younger woman to become “old” dads with, how many do you think really weren’t fussy about having kids, whereas the younger woman really desired motherhood? 🤔 in general, i just don’t think men see parenthood as the all-important, life-defining necessity that so many women do. when you see the significantly older men who have kids, i highly doubt there’s a normal level of involvement.

[shes-an-oddbird]

Tales of a 126 Valentine’s Day

Short Valentine's Day snippets featuring members of the 126 and filled with dates, dilemmas and classic candy hearts.

Struck with inspiration and managed to write these all in the past 24 hours. They are short, sweet and poorly edited. Enjoy and Happy Valentine's Day

Chapter 2 - Nancy x Mateo & Fancy Restaurants Summary:  Mateo thinks Nancy is uncomfortable on their fancy date. She is, just not for the reasons he thinks.

She’s uncomfortable, he can tell. She keeps fidgeting and adjusting her dress and she’s already been to the bathroom twice and keeps looking back in its direction like she’s about to go a third time.

It’s the restaurant. It’s too fussy or too quiet or too something. He’s not really sure. Maybe this had been a bad idea. They liked to try new places for dinner but it’s usually like food trucks and diners and any place that offered take out. This place definitely did not offer take out. He’s not even sure they would have to-go boxes.

The waiter comes by their table to check on them, pouring wine and informing them that their first course will be out shortly. Nancy thanks the man and as soon as he walks away, she excuses herself to the bathroom again.

Mateo leans back in his chair, wipes his sweaty palms on his one good pair of dress pants and wiggles his toes in the too tight shoes he’d just bought because none of his old ones seemed nice enough for this place.

“I’m sorry.” He says, the moment Nancy returns to the table; before she can even fully sits back down.

She looks startled by his abrupt apology. “Why?”

“Because I should have picked a different restaurant, you’re not having a good time and –“

“I am having a good time.” She objects.

“You’ve been to the bathroom three times and we’ve only been here fifteen minutes.” Nancy’s cheeks flush pink and she looks around nervously before adjusting her dress again. “See you’re uncomfortable, we should go somewhere else.” He’s not sure where, everywhere else is probably full with reservations made months in advance, but he takes out his phone anyways, hopefully he can find somewhere that can squeeze them in.

“Mateo, don’t, its fine.” She reaches across the table, covering both his hands with hers, coaxing him to put the phone down. “I’m fine, I promise.”

“But – “

“You really want to know what’s wrong?” She asks, smiling as she leans in closer over the table, glancing at the other guests who seemed to have moved closer just to hear how awful of a time she was having. She gives his fingers a gentle squeeze. “It’s not the restaurant, it’s my bra.” She whispers.

Mateo looks back at her confused. “What?”

“My bra, my stupid strapless bra,” she whispers a little louder. “It keeps slipping down and this place if so fancy, I feel weird hiking it up out here in public, that’s why I keep going to the bathroom.” Mateo has to take a moment to process this information. His eyes distractedly fall on her bare shoulders which she shimmies, he supposes to emphasize her point. It makes him laugh and untwists the knot that was forming in his stomach.

“Seriously?” He asks.

“Seriously.”

“If it’s that uncomfortable, why did you wear it?”

“I had to buy a dress, I didn’t have one that was fancy enough for this place,” she admits, “and it unfortunately needs a bra, this bra.”

The table nearest to them seems to have finally taken an interest in their conversation. Apparently if you say ‘bra’ enough in public that happens. Nancy’s face burns a darker shade of red as she sits back up in her chair, her reassuring smile starting to slip.

“My new shoes are too tight and I can’t feel half my toes.” He shares and it has exactly the effect he hopes it will. Nancy bursts into laughter, drawing the attention of more tables. He tries halfheartedly to shush her but he loves when she laughs. “I’ve been thinking about taking them off, but I didn’t want to get us thrown out.”

“Do it!” Nancy urges. “They can’t tell, the tablecloths are too long.”

“How do you –“

“I already took mine off.”

“You didn’t.” She did. Her bare foot hooks around his ankle under the table as proof.

Dinner gets better after their slightly inappropriate game of footsie. The food comes and its every bit as good as the reviews had claimed it was. Halfway through the second course, Nancy steals Mateo’s jacket and disappears to the bathroom again. When she comes back its with his jacket on and her bra shoved into her purse.

They get to witness two somewhat stoic proposals and a far more emotional and entertaining break up that happens at the table behind them. The waiter offers them the couple’s preordered dessert in apology for the disturbance. Chocolate cake with pistachios. According to the waiter, the man had thought it was the woman’s favorite. The woman was in fact extremely allergic to both main ingredients.

“Now see,” Nancy says after taking a bite of cake, “they are having a bad night.”

[punkscowardschampions]

Chlu & Lolly & Golly

Chloé: Are you determined to kill me

Chloé: Do you have ANY respect for me or your father, just out of curiosity

Lulu: I told them not to even contact you & daddy, it isn’t my fault the request was overridden 

Chloé: They have to, for God’s sake, as you should well know

Chloé: and now we’re faced with the impossible decision of looking like terrible parents or ruining our holiday for this

Lulu: I’m sorry you were faced with such a horrid decision which you’re finding so difficult

Chloé: I’m sure you find yourself terribly original in this moment, you are nothing of the sort

Lulu: I find myself to be a lot of things in this moment, original has yet to make the list

Chloé: Was this really the best way to deal with your problems

Chloé: You couldn’t think of any other way

Lulu: Officially, I don’t have any problems & this was truly a frightful accident

Chloé: I expect this kind of behaviour from your sister

Chloé: but now I have to deal with you too, do I

Lulu: How exactly are you dealing with her? Because I don’t see any reprimands at all for her behaviour, she’s utterly living it up at grandma’s

Chloé: She’s never going to see that man ever again, if he’s any sense at all

Lulu: She doesn’t want to see him, mummy

Lulu: & vice versa, naturally

Chloé: I don’t believe that for a second, please don’t treat me like a fool

Lulu: Dolly told me so herself, she doesn’t care about him

Lulu: he was a means to an end

Chloé: Why would I believe you?

Chloé: You didn’t even know about him, allegedly 

Lulu: [send her the part/s of the convo where she said it]

Chloé: And that’s why you threw yourself out of a window, is it

Lulu: I fell

Chloé: No, you didn’t

Chloé: She reaffirmed what you already knew

Lulu: Yes, I did

Lulu: it’s a simple narrative to stick to

Chloé: I raised two ungrateful daughters who do nothing but lie and lie and lie

Lulu: If it makes you feel any better, you barely raised us

Chloé: Wow

Chloé: Just because you’re playing the melancholic does not mean you need to drag me down with you

Lulu: I tried my best not to, but don’t worry, next time I’ll wait until after I’ve turned 18

Chloé: Why are you doing this

Chloé: I thought you had ambitions 

Lulu: Oh please, you aren’t the slightest bit interested in why or you’d already have those answers

Chloé: Well, what an absolute waste of our time and resources

Chloé: I’m SO glad we paid for that school for Dolly to fuck a teacher and for you to turn out a complete basketcase

Lulu: Well, I’M glad you did, perhaps if you’d let me stay I wouldn’t be a complete basketcase 

Chloé: That is entirely out of the question, look how emotionally disturbed you are as is

Chloé: It’s time you grew up and entered the real world, I’m afraid

Lulu: I had to grow up when I was [insert a horrifically young age] & [insert a horrific anecdote of which there are millions to pick from because her parents are inappropriate af and unhinged and only care about each other]

Lulu: have you considered that could have potentially emotionally disturbed me?

Chloé: You weren’t like this before you went to that place

Chloé: don’t you think it tortures me how horrifically inappropriate they turned out to be? That I wish we had never sent you away?

Lulu: You sent us away when we were 7, yonks before we were old enough to attend there, you’ve always wished we weren’t around

Chloé: How could you say such awful things

Lulu: Because you’re more upset that your holiday is in ruins than you are about the damage done to my body

Chloé: You need to understand that what you did is a wholly selfish thing, so you never do it again

Lulu: Everything you do is wholly selfish!

Chloé: I am a mother, I NEVER get to be selfish

Lulu: When? When are you EVER a mother?

Chloé: Since I was barely older than you!

Chloé: I would LOVE to see you try, you are as useless as you were when you were born, still so fussy and needy

Lulu: I’d love to see you try, except you can’t because it’s far too late, you abandoned Mattie literally when she was born & you barely managed much longer with Dolly & I

Lulu: [do a maths sum like a nerd which is giving you two so her love already divided by 2 and then again for how long you were always at your grandparents and the fact she only did 7 years before she started on this boarding school stuff]

Chloé: I didn’t abandon Matilda, I was forced out of my home and my marriage

Chloé: Try having nothing, and no one, because that is how James left me and how your father found me

Lulu: That is how I’ve been left, with nothing & no one

Chloé: Your doting fucking perfect grandmother and grandfather rushed to your side

Chloé: You are so cosseted you have no clue how good you have it

Lulu: Of course, they feel guilty for being MIA for yonks & yonks because they’re on her side

Chloé: Don’t be so ridiculous, there are no sides

Lulu: Yes there are, they dote on her now, not me

Chloé: Nonsense, I know my own parents, thank you very much

Lulu: Oh good, then you know how much they say beastly things about you 

Lulu: it’s my turn too apparently, I’ve heard grandma, she hates me

Chloé: Ha! Trust me, they were not the people they are today, how else would I end up in such dire straights as I did

Chloé: but they’ve made it up to me, as well as they can, by being devoted grandparents, as much as it pains me to see them treat you how they never did me

Lulu: I was awfully foolish to think you might actually believe me, it’s clearly the pain meds I’m on sending me loopy or some kind of delayed shock

Chloé: Believe you about what, falling from the window

Lulu: About grandma, but okay, as we’re moving on, that too

Lulu: I did do it for you, after all, given how poorly you’re still managing the previous scandal

Chloé: You’re not to ever repeat that bullshit out loud again, unless you want to end up a permanent resident of [giving a private and fancy asylum]

Chloé: You’ve given yourself more brain damage with the fall

Lulu: I’d adore it, the alternative being more of your bullshit regime, your threats are therefore null & void

Chloé: Regime, ha!

Chloé: You have a free house for the whole holidays, do you know what that’s called, free rein and I would have thrown parties every night 

Chloé: Again, you don’t know you’re born

Lulu: Darling, it’s called neglect, bad luck

Lulu: & obviously you haven’t grasped the amount of trouble you’d be in if I hadn’t lied, enjoy your own freedom, mummy

Chloé: Trouble, for your fucked brain, I think not

Chloé: You’re [I think 16/17 but I’m not saying for sure, you get the point anyway] and your grandparents are looking after you and your sister

Chloé: Honestly, one minute I’m Kate McCann and the next I’m some kind of Fritzl, you can’t have it both ways, darling

Lulu: You have the audacity to call me selfish, when I’m protecting your reputation from being in further tatters

Lulu: goodness knows why when this is the thanks I get

Chloé: Protecting my reputation by clearly throwing yourself from [whatever floor is the highest in your house because we’re being dramatic]

Chloé: How are you so damned stupid, Lulu!

Chloé: You may have convinced them to put the tranquilisers down but NO ONE, I repeat, NO ONE ELSE is going to believe that lie

Lulu: Wow, I’m supposed to be the beyond hysterical one 🙄

Lulu: It was from my bedroom on the second floor & your friends will, daddy’s family will, all of them are stupider than I could dare to be in my wildest dreams

Lulu: Who else’s opinion matters to you suddenly?

Chloé: Your arrogance is ugly and what makes you the stupidest

Chloé: You’re a child, everyone will be too polite to question your tall tale but they’ll know and the knowing glances will be exchanged 

Lulu: Your contradictions are hilarious, a moment ago I was [her age] & absolutely not in any way a child

Lulu: my apologies, mother, are you going to get tired of it? Because guess what, I’m exhausted too, join the club

Chloé: You’ve zero common sense, zero street smarts

Chloé: this is what comes of sending you to that backwards backwoods school, I should have NEVER let you talk me into that, the mistake has cost me greatly ever since

Lulu: No, I don’t tend to walk the streets like you did at my age, I’m afraid

Lulu: but fear not, I’m sure an unwanted pregnancy can be arranged instead of a university place, since my ideas are THAT bad

Chloé: You live in London, not the Swiss Alps

Chloé: Your lack of friends here before was alarming, how are you going to make any now you’ve crippled yourself

Lulu: [correct her on the exact geography of wherever you were in your beloved switzerland]

Lulu: & I haven’t crippled myself, get a grip

Chloé: I don’t care, Heidi, the dream is dead

Chloé: Whatever you thought you were doing over there, is absolutely meaningless

Lulu: It is, you’re right, hence hoping for the sweet release of death

Chloé: I should have stopped at one child

Lulu: Evidently, as she’s SO perfect, it must be nice to be allowed to thrive without your influence, unfortunately I can’t relate

Chloé: At least Dolly was doing something real

Chloé: You spent the last [however long you’ve been at that school] doing what, being the biggest swot at the nunnery

Lulu: No one is shook to their core to hear sex is one of the only things that means anything to you

Chloé: School is not real life, that fairytale cult castle is especially not real life, you wasted your time

Lulu: You’ve never even had a fake job, what would you know?

Chloé: I’ve lived a life, darling

Lulu: Don’t come crying to me when that life is wrecked because you’ve blown through all the money by [an age that’s giving 5 to 10 years from how old she is now], I’ll refuse to help you

Chloé: Well, I’d assumed you’d have managed to successfully reach the sweet release of death by then

Chloé: Not counting on you

Lulu: That’s rich given your track record, how many times have you threatened to kill yourself, mummy? I’ve personally lost count

Chloé: When have I ever flung myself from the rooftop, you mental bitch

Chloé: A well-timed threat versus an insane action you can’t undo, not really giving brains of Britain, are you dear

Lulu: True, it’s a lot of stairs, you’d be more likely to die of a heart attack

Chloé: Says the anorexic, look that fact up

Lulu: It would be orthorexia, if anything

Lulu: a fact which a woman who has been controlling my diet since I was [however old] should probably have looked up

Chloé: Because you can’t be trusted to keep yourself alive

Chloé: No punchline, just the draining joke that you have made my life as your mother

Lulu: Because you can’t trusted to follow your own advice, I have to make you look good or else you’re a laughing stock among your own circles

Lulu: no punchline, it’s dreadfully unamusing at your big age everything you lack

Chloé: Everything I lack is because it was given to and for you and your sister

Lulu: How noble of you

Chloé: There once seemed a point, how foolish 

Lulu: On that point alone we at last discover some common ground

Chloé: We have nothing in common, and you are nothing like your father

Chloé: I don’t know what kind of genetic throwback you are

Lulu: What a relief, his face has been taxing enough to have to try & wear without being saddled with anything else

Chloé: Don’t talk about your father like that

Chloé: In fact, don’t contact either of us

Lulu: Okay

Chloé: You will not be spoiling our Summer

Chloé: Stay at your grandparents’, I’ll tell them they are to watch you far more closely until we are back and you are back in school

Lulu: Nothing could spoil your summer

Chloé: Not you, not this performance

Lulu: Message received 

Chloé: Goodbye

Lulu: [do it in french, the most slang and the most swiss way you can as a fuck you because not letting go of being heidi haha] 😘

Lulu: I told you so [but in french because it’s about Gabe and golly being over after their summer fling]

Dolly: You been working on that all summer?

Lulu: He’s been texting me since [whenever it started to go wrong, whether she’s giving a date here or a location where golly were in europe, because he would, that’s such a boy move]

Dolly: Ah, congratulations

Lulu: It’s hardly worth any, but thanks

Dolly: Next move is obvious, I hope you aren’t waiting for shock or tears

Lulu: Fear not, I’m solely waiting for school 🤓

Dolly: They’re letting you go

Lulu: Even with both wrists broken, still no shock or tears

Dolly: You’re welcome to him, welcome to the school

Lulu: I’m certainly not waiting for your permission, in either instance

Dolly: No shit

Lulu: Welcome home

Dolly: Good one

Lulu: If my sense of humour also fractured, it’s healed quicker

Dolly: I doubt we’d say it was anything close to healed ever

Lulu: Of course you wouldn’t & there is no we

Dolly: As if I’d come back and want that

Lulu: I know why you’re back, hence my opener

Dolly: I don’t see your point

Lulu: What a surprise

Lulu: you never do

Dolly: Lament at someone else

Dolly: I got what I wanted, so did he

Lulu: Why would I lament? He doesn’t want you any more, as predicted because he is nothing if not

Dolly: Wow, still your mother’s daughter, I’m so sorry

Lulu: Old habits die the hardest, especially when I don’t

Dolly: My condolences

Dolly: At least you got to dine out on that sob story with grandma and grandpa, if not your main targets

Lulu: It’s bad luck, a devoted sister would offer to slash my broken wrists for me ☹️

Dolly: A minute in your company turns devotion into indifference 

Dolly: The worst luck, maybe a family curse

Lulu: Has it been a minute already? Wow! ⏲

Lulu: I should really reply to Gabe, excuse me, it’s all so difficult while injured 🤕

Dolly: Do you imagine I’ll feel anything but pity for you both?

Dolly: You’re going to fuck a boy who found your mangled body and left with your sister and he’s well, Gabe

Dolly: I’ve never heard anything sadder

Lulu: Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not going to fuck him, I’m not you

Dolly: You think you’re being quippy but you won’t be able to resist

Dolly: on the off chance I’ll be as 😭 as you were

Lulu: He’s Gabe, he’s hardly irresistible 

Lulu: & he’s already told me everything about fucking you, naturally it would be IMPOSSIBLE for me to compete

Dolly: No, but he’s yours 

Dolly: 💔

Lulu: He’s what he is & has always been to me, sometimes marginally useful

Dolly: Sure he is, Loo

Lulu: No one’s 💔 over that boy

Dolly: You just threatened to kill yourself for no reason in the same breath you begged me to leave him alone

Lulu: I had my reasons, none of them about him, I told you that

Lulu: I’d have begged him if I wanted him, not you

Dolly: You really fluffed the narrative this time, didn’t you

Lulu: Yeah, doctors will believe anything it turns out, all you have to do is bat your eyelashes same as anywhere else 🥺

Dolly: What a useful skill

Lulu: I know, right? 😊

Dolly: We both had productive summers then

Lulu: Seems like it

Dolly: If you want me to feel betrayed that he’s told you shit, you’re labouring under the misapprehension that I thought either of you was to be trusted

Lulu: Oh no, I just wanted to feel something by being told & I did

Lulu: I don’t care about how numb you get to be again now you don’t have to pretend he’s fixing you by fucking you

Dolly: I’m not you

Dolly: I wasn’t pretending and I’m not going back

Lulu: Okay, if you say so

Dolly: Your inability to feel is your business

Lulu: I feel, it just isn’t ever triggered by his penis, bad luck for him

Dolly: You’ve confused pathologies for feelings

Lulu: Have I? Whoops

Dolly: You’ll never know the difference so it makes none

Lulu: & yet you felt the need to say it, clearly it makes a difference to you

Dolly: I feel, you would have had it be otherwise forever so you need reminding

Lulu: No, you needed reminding who you’re supposed to feel for & where your loyalties are meant to lie

Dolly: That’s what you were doing, seriously

Lulu: I’m your twin sister & you don’t care if I die!

Dolly: You weren’t going to die

Lulu: I wanted to, I miscalculated the landing

Dolly: And what is the point in that

Dolly: You’d be dead, any reaction is irrelevant 

Lulu: Living like this is worse than irrelevant

Dolly: No one has asked you to act like this

Lulu: You’re literally asking me to act completely different

Dolly: What have you done my entire life, you can’t last a minute? 

Dolly: Amateur 

Lulu: I didn’t force you to do anything, you have to stop saying that

Dolly: You want me to respect you forcing me to care with a suicide attempt when you don’t believe my truth

Lulu: I can’t believe you would reject me, you’re the one person who’s supposed to understand, me, this, all of it

Dolly: And what the fuck do you even know about me

Lulu: I’ve been with you for [however many years] through everything they did, everything it made us do

Dolly: Everything you wanted to do

Lulu: I didn’t want what happened to happen, Dolly, so sue me, okay?

Lulu: for god’s sake, don’t be horrid

Dolly: Yes you did because if I hadn’t put a stop to it, it would all still be happening now, wouldn’t it

Dolly: They weren’t there, when we were at school, none of it had to be the way it was

Lulu: At school I got you the attention of the only boy within what might as well have been hundreds of miles

Lulu: you wanted experiences, you said so yourself

Dolly: I didn’t need you to, I didn’t ask you to

Dolly: and it’s not as if you let me have it on my own

Lulu: Well, I was trying to help

Lulu: & as if I’d let some boy go near you on your own, he can’t be trusted, which you’ve also realised

Dolly: Jesus Christ!

Dolly: You can’t be trusted, it’s none of your business and the fact you made it yours is just so insane

Lulu: Then I’m insane, fine 🤪

Lulu: for protecting you, which is what families are meant to do

Dolly: Protecting me should extend to telling him to shut up if he goes around telling the whole school

Dolly: That isn’t what it was

Lulu: Basic human decency should extend to asking me how I am when I fall/throw myself out of a window, but you didn’t because you were too busy fucking him all over grandma’s house & then Europe

Dolly: You’ve made it abundantly clear there is no we

Dolly: and I knew that’s why you did it

Lulu: No one could ever make that clearer than you did

Lulu: Mummy & daddy don’t understand how important school is, but you knew & you took it anyway

Lulu: we might not even pass now, all those factors working against us

Dolly: There’s nothing else for you to do, of course you will

Lulu: You risked the only thing that matters when we barely had any time left, why couldn’t you just wait to stage your little revolt?

Dolly: I was done

Lulu: But I’m selfish

Dolly: It’s my life, I should have been living it for me the whole time

Lulu: If you’d spoken to me about this instead of lying to my face for [the length of teachergate] we could’ve both carried on living our lives, you didn’t have to blow mine up 

Dolly: You don’t understand

Lulu: You don’t communicate, I’ll go back in time & read your blinks, shall I? Because you’re truly only ever giving as much as a coma patient would

Dolly: You’ve never been in love, I don’t think you’d know how

Lulu: Ouch, who’s their mother’s daughter now?

Dolly: I’m only faking it anyway, right

Lulu: She thinks I’m worthless, you’re saying the same thing by believing I’m incapable of love

Dolly: It’s all her fault either way

Lulu: I’m the one who has to live with it, not her

Dolly: She doesn’t care, about nothing but herself

Lulu: Tell me something I don’t know

Lulu: my near-death experience didn’t cast a shadow over her scorching summer

Dolly: You’re the one still chasing her, beating that dead horse

Lulu: I’m done

Dolly: Good

Dolly: then it was all worth it

Lulu: She outdid herself this time

Lulu: I fail to see how anyone could fail a test more spectacularly, you & Gabe included

Dolly: If only a comparison to her could ever be a compliment

Dolly: She’s always predictable, if anyone is

Lulu: Everyone is 🥱

Dolly: Tell me something I don’t know

Lulu: You know now that summer’s over, congrats

Lulu: better late than never

Dolly: You were determined to have a terrible one

Lulu: My terrible time was determined by your beastly actions

Dolly: You want to act powerless now that suits your story better

Lulu: How aren’t I for real? I’m still alive, mortifyingly

Dolly: You should be grateful

Dolly: that would’ve been the most embarrassing death

Lulu: I’d be gone, I’d neither know nor care

Dolly: Time for plan B

Lulu: I’m aware of that, don’t waste yours stating the blatantly obvious

Dolly: You’re the one still moping, summer is over, time for a new bit

Lulu: My depression isn’t seasonal, if only

Dolly: It’s situational, if we’re being generous

Lulu: Because what everyone loves is yet another unsolicited diagnosis

Lulu: very generous 

Dolly: It’s your time to waste

Lulu: Gabe’s way ahead of you on that front

Dolly: You’re ridiculous, what do you even have to say to him at this point?

Lulu: At this point, that’s none of your business

Dolly: 🙄

Dolly: Unlike you, it isn’t my life’s work to know yours

Lulu: Then don’t ask

Dolly: I’m shaming you

Lulu: Bad luck, no you aren’t

Dolly: You know it’s pathetic, you’re wallowing, that’s all

Lulu: If you’d ever checked in, you’d know that’s the vibe

Lulu: [with a list of whatever injuries you sustained, healed or not like ugh & duh I couldn’t be more pathetic rn & this is all voice typed thanks to those wrists which would actually be annoying I agree gal]

Dolly: I guess it beats organ failure but for fuck’s sake

Lulu: But it’s fun you think you can shame me from rock bottom 😅 go off, darling

Dolly: Optimistic to assume this is rock bottom

Lulu: 😁😁😁

Dolly: [deleting all of the messages and pictures between y’all with haste after this conversation with your sister]

Dolly: [sending him the message(s) where Lulu says he’s telling her everything]

Dolly: Just in case you thought she cared about you in any of this 👌👌👌

Gabe: [just to ref that he isn’t gonna reply because he is a flop and that’s the coward move when she is actually owed a reply here cos um excuse you wtf sir going back and forth between these gals]

[lumiereandcogsworth]

WOW 😭 im starting to wish YOU wrote the “as old as time” book since thats the only “official” world building disney gave us and it was … bad 😭

ok ok so everything made sense but i still got some questions .. im so sorry 😭

so before i ask about time, how old do you think adam was before the curse? i see in the remake the change from “if he could learn to love before his 21st bday” to “if he could learn to love before the LAST PETAL FELL” so now im like how much time was that really ?? i mean obviously ur right on the whole time freezing if they felt like removing a key plot point of it all happening before adams 21st and the whole eternal winter fiasco, so whatever adams age was before the curse was the same after?? So im asking a follow up bc im still a bit confused if you’re saying the gap between the WHOLE curse is january to june? am i getting this right lmk 😭 i seriously think someday you should write a timeline on ur beauty and the beast world bc i am loving this theory sm?? literally everywhere else is yapping about it being 10 years (some are saying the curse was 21 years!!) and the enchantress being belles mom for some reason??? literally so silly 🗣️ anyway idk man ur ideas r just refreshing for this fandom ngl 😭 anyway thxs for answering my questions dude <33

AAHH i’m smiling SO WIDE!!! i love this so much !!! yeah yeah yeah

okay SO! yes, because batb 2017 changed the parameters of the curse, it’s up to us to decide his age! i actually decided a while ago that i would make him 21. this was mainly to honor batb 1991, but i also like that he was young. and you didn’t ask this, but i headcanon belle is 20. they’re a couple of youngin’s!! belle turned 20 in may, the movie takes place in june, and adam will turn 22 in august. SO yes he was 21 when he was cursed, and just 21 the whole time. that’s just my timeline for ya. i think belle is surprised to learn how close in age they are, when adam inevitably reveals his age to her when they’re courting. i think adam has Always been old for his age. (caused by childhood trauma and also just his personality) and i’m sure being cursed sort of “aged” him a bit too. something i love about them is that while belle is mature for her age as well, she is also able to bring out the child in him. he laughs with her, they play with and tease each other. they’re best friends, always. so he IS young, but he’s never really matched his actual age. life’s been difficult for him, despite the royal status :(

as for the timeframe of the curse, yeah that works!! i’m not too fussy about how many months exactly it has been, but i think six months is a solid number, and a storm in january makes just as much sense as anything. some day, when i’m feeling extra insane, i want to develop my own formula for how time compares in and out of the curse. like one real day equals one curse week, or something like that. i’ll do that some day lol. but for now i’m just vague about it. they were under the curse for MONTHS (six works nicely) and it FELT like a couple/few YEARS. belle was at the castle for five days (according to gaston), so how long did it FEEL like she was there? i think her and adam spent weeks, maybe months, falling in love. once she spent the night there, i think she fell into their frozen timeline as well. (maurice doesn’t experience it because he doesn’t sleep there!) which is kind of cool!! i love writing extra scenes that happen during the curse, because in my view, a lot more time passes in that period. which is evident (to me) in the nature of their rapport and dynamic. they don’t seem like two people who have only known each other for 5 days, do they? :”)

as to your lamentations, i can only sympathize. while i do love and respect batb 1991, it really has some frustrating plotholes for people who like digging into lore & canon. and i hate to start up comparisons, but i’ll just say i’m quite thankful for everything batb 2017 does to button up those issues. the ten years thing is rough, because that IS was 91 lumiere says! i’d have a hard time refuting that, myself. as you may have noticed, i’m quite the canon girlie lmao. i think lumiere was just being dramatic and hyperbolic, which lends to 17 lumiere singing “too long” instead of “ten years” — which i am so thankful for. the 21 years is… ludicrous? i have no idea how people could get there. maybe they think adam was cursed from birth ??? ugh. don’t get me started on people who forget that he was born a human being, AND DESERVES TO BE A HUMAN BEING AFTER THE CURSE IS LIFTED. i’ll blow a fuse. anyway!!

the enchantress being belle’s mother theory is i BELIEVE from a book that’s like batb but with a twist? i think there’s a whole series of books that are disney movies with wild twists. and for the batb one, it’s that her mother was the enchantress. i’m not ever going to read that, because it’s ridiculous, and canon is my beloved best friend that doesn’t need changing. but yeah i think that’s where that comes from. whateva. i have lots of lovely lore about belle’s beloved mama already💜

thank you again for your kindness and appreciation of my thoughts!!!! i can’t express enough how much it means to me. thank you a million times💖

[tatumrileylove36]

Maxine minx x female y/n

As you and Maxine get dressed before you get on the road when you and Maxine get dressed Maxine sits down to do her eyeshadow how you loved the blue on her eyes looked but she was with that stupid guy Wayne he was old enough to be her dad! For god sake he was in he’s early 40s or even mid 40s and Maxine was only 16! Most of us or even old enough to be making this film but we were doing anyway Maxine got done with her eyeshadow and she brought out cocaine and started to sniff it up Maxine yes y/n replied Maxine without turning around can I try? You never told me you did cocaine i don’t I just want to try first time for everything I guess ok there you go maxine helps you hold the stick and sniff the cocaine up your nose shit why does it feel so good i know right you put your finger on your nose to keep all the cocaine in then all of you get out the dressing rooms and go onto the van and go to a small shop to get some materials for the movie and some food as Maxine talks to Wayne about how she wants the The whole world to know her name you can’t help but get a little jealous till Lorraine comes next to you like her don’t you how Couldn’t I not she’s beautiful smart nice nice she’s nice to you but she’s not nice to me she’s always  on me that I don’t talk to her but she needs to talk to me first then I’ll open up to her well that’s because you have social anxiety then all of you get back in the truck and you guys start to talk about your American dream  I just wanna buy A big mansion with a big pool and be in the pool and tan these titties what about you Maxine what’s your American dream maxine doesn’t say anything and just looks at her script all right well what about y/n  i’m not sure you guys get to the barn and Wayne goes to talk to the man about it and he lets all of us go inside and we start to film Bobby and Jackson you and Maxine just walk around outside and you guys discover a lake and you guys look at each other you thinking what I’m thinking hell yeah let’s do it but you really didn’t wanna do it because you were uncomfortable but you just wanted to because you thought you would impress Maxine you both put 1 foot in the water to see if it’s cold but it’s the perfect temperature maxine takes off her overalls and you see the way she looks she’s so beautiful without clothes maybe if she wants we can be in the movie without Jackson we can do like a lesbian part hello suddenly you get snapped out of your thoughts when Maxine says your name what are you thinking about y/n she gives you that beautiful stare with her deep brown eyes nothing you take off your tank top and shorts maxine looks you up and down and you think she’s judging you for a moment your body is amazing you’re beautiful  you start to blush come on let’s just go before we have to go back and start to film film

Film even Maxine jump in the lake and start to Alex about 15 to 20 minutes later you guys want to get out so you both slowly start to swim back to the deck but when you do you feel really uneasy and you feel like something is following you but you don’t her road you and Maxine get back to the deck and put your clothes on and you and her start to walk back to the house till you and Maxine saw an old lady waving at you and Maxine gives her a weird look and slowly waves and when you guys get closer she invites you in and she asked you guys if you want some lemonade she gives you both a glass and both drink it quickly I gotta go back my boyfriend gets fussy when he doesn’t know where I am so you and Maxine leave y’all get back and Wayne says where have you been I’ve been looking for you everywhere come on is your part take one Farmer’s daughter you just watch Maxine because it wasn’t your scene yet soon Maxine was done with her scene and y’all all were back inside the house talking about how amazing we did today till Lorraine says don’t you feel weird seen her do it with him oh you do talk no it’s just a movie we’re just acting but what about love I do love you can choose who you love but not who you Screw  I want to do a scene in the movie no why not because I filled it so just no I wanna be in the movie too  OK both y’all could be the movie so y/n you can go first your scene was about another sister and Jackson accidentally went into her room and she didn’t have any clothes on and your scene was done and then it was Lorraine’s turn  but you were in your room getting ready for bed and you felt really guilty doing it with Jackson because you haven’t told any one of your friends in the friend group that you’re attracted to girls not just any girl but Maxine set an off everybody was sleeping and you didn’t know it but RJ was crying in the shower that he got out and took the car keys and tried to leave till he saw the old lady that me and Maxine saw earlier he got out the van and tried to help her but she stabbed him in the throat and took his body and took the car keys later Lorraine woke up and RJ wasn’t there she went outside calling his name then Wayne woke up what are you doing out here this late RJ is it in the bed do you think he’s mad at me you didn’t do anything wrong can you help me look for him fine Lorraine and Wayne looked around Wayne went to the barn and Lorraine was talking to the old man Wayne looked around in the barn until he stepped on a nail and he was calling RJs name and he looked inside of a hole in the Barnes wall and he got a pitchfork in the eyes and he died  The old man told Lorraine to go downstairs and look for a flashlight so she did she got back and the door was locked she couldn’t get out 

Part 2 coming soon

Sorry wanted to write the whole thing but I thought it would be too long for you guys so sorry because I think it’s kind of long so I’ll be making part two in a few days Love you my little Spookiz💝❤️‍🔥 and it’s my birthday tomorrow🎂😊🤗 and I’m sorry if the spelling is bad 

[ketso]

Episode 57

I’ve dropped Risuna off at school and am now at the Maphumulo house. I’m Mrs Maphumulo’s assistant and the workload is a lot. I thought work at Keith’s office was hectic. Yoh, here?! It’s a lot! But the payment has helped me a lot.

I’ve been asking my mom to quit her job for some time now. She’s old. And this thing of hers cleaning at government hospitals for R4500 a month is not okay. There was a time when I couldn’t help her. But that changed. When Keith got his CEO job, I know he started paying my mom R8000 a month. He refused to send money to his mother though because according to Keith, his mother would starve then send money to his father. And Keith would rather die than support that man. But, Keith’s mother doesn’t work. And this is not okay. It’s just not. She lives on the money that Keith and his brothers give her. And Keith has the highest paying job.

So, I give her money from my salary.

Keith and I are responsible for her groceries. So I buy her groceries online every two weeks and have them delivered to her. Michael and his girlfriend are responsible for rates, taxes, the garden person and the domestic worker. Samuel and his wife are responsible for DSTV, TV license and clothing accounts.

According to Keith, what else does she need money for? That’s why she can afford to give money to the dad. Now that the dad moved back into the house, it’s worse. Keith even wants us to reduce the groceries. Honestly, he must just take one for the team at this point. He cannot NOT look after his mother because of his hatred for that man. Hai bo.

So I’ll generally send her R2500. When she needs money for stuff, she phones me. And I’m happy that she does. Her sons are not prepared to send her money because of the father. And the wives and girlfriends… well, they don’t like her enough to do what I do. And I don’t understand why. Maybe I just understand her better because I grew up just next door her house and she’s always seen a daughter in me.

Now with my significant increase in salary, I give her R5000 every month. Then I’ve added onto my mom’s allowance. So she gets R10 000 from Keith and I collectively. She finally confirmed that she doesn’t work anymore. I’m happy. She also tells me that she takes Keith’s mom out from time to time, which I appreciate. But ja, I don’t know how we are going to work around this situation.

“Moghel!!!!” Wandi comes into my office and says.

We are both super excited to see each other. We jump on each other, hugging and actually making a noise.

“I hope I’m not disturbing you”, she says.

“I’m so excited to see you!!! I feel like we all just don’t see each other unless it’s a funeral or a wedding or something. That’s so wrong guys. We can’t be missing Thebe’s back rooms because of such”, I say.

“I hear you. I definitely agree. We just all have a lot going on. But you are right, we need to make time and just catch up.”

“Yeah. How are you finding being a new mommy?”

“It’s beautiful. I’m very blessed. And I have the best support system seeing me through. Plus, Melo is not a fussy child. So she really favours me in that regard”, she says.

“Well, being a mommy is a stunning look on you. I’m loving it for you!”

“Thank you, gorgeous. And wena? How’s Risuna and Keith?”

“They are good, watsiba. Keith wants another baby even.”

She almost pops her eyes out.

I laugh.

“I kinda want one too. But I think I’ll come off the pill after the wedding. I’m giving Risuna a little more time to be an only child. But even he’s asking me why people around him have siblings and he doesn’t.” I say.

Wandi actually laughs.

I laugh too.

“I’m really happy for you and Keith, Bassie. You know we’ve always held pom-poms for the two of you, but seriously, I’m so happy you guys found each other and knew what to do with this opportunity.” She says.

“Thank you so much, friend. There was honestly a time where I would have never believed anyone who would have told me that Keith and I would be married one day and building a whole family together. When he married that lunatic of his, I genuinely believed that any chance of him and I being together was over. Hell, I was even thinking about giving Sipho a chance.”

“BASETSANA!”

We burst into laughter.

“That guy unofficially adopted my child when his father wanted nothing to do with him - or so I thought at the time. He bought the baby a stroller, a cot and all these other things that I couldn’t afford. Not even he could afford it… he worked extra shifts at the mine just so my baby and I could be okay. Why wouldn’t I give him a chance.”

“Chomi, vele you didn’t find that to be creepy? I mean who does that? And with no guarantee ukuthi that’s your woman vele vele vele? I mean, now, you are with Keith and you haven’t spoken to him in forever. Lapho akhona, how’s he taking the fact that you and Risuna are not in his life and are not his family as he thought would be the case when he was being extra? Phela he surely didn’t do that just nje… there must have been some expectation.”

“I’ve never thought about it like that, watsiba. I just always thought of him as this thoughtful person who really cared enough to pick me up when I was at my lowest.” I say and I’m actually being honest.

“Anyway… he got arrested. Uzwile?” She says.

“Hai wena! For what?”

“Aren’t you still in the WhatsApp group kaThebe for that place?”

“No. I changed phones and lost everything.”

“Yoh! Apparently, police came to fetch him at the rooms. The charges include murder, rape, robbery and assault.”

“WHAT?!” I’m so shocked.

“Ja. Maybe that money he made to buy all of things was not 100% legal.”

My spine honestly has a hectic chill.

“You dodged a bullet, babe. He’s not who we all thought he was. I just found him to be very creepy for being your unofficial husband nje. It was too weird to me.” She says.

“Ja neh. Keith did say that there was something off about him. I just thought that Keith was being jealous.” I say.

“He was being jealous. He could tell that Sipho was off but couldn’t tell that his wife was a dangerous nutcase and a half?”

We look at each other.

We burst into laughter.

“Anyway, let me love and leave you. Melo is with her mkhulu and I don’t want her exhausting him. I’m somewhere around this massive house if you need me or just want to take a quick break nyana.”

“Thanks babe. Enjoy.”

She leaves my office.

Ja neh!

I’m busy for the next few hours in my office. Fifi, my boss, is in and out of my office. She even had a site visit today with the queen. This is really a big project. I feel honoured to be part of it.

It is now 6pm. I decide to call it a day. Fifi is not back from the site visit. She texted me telling me that I can leave. We will catch up telephonically. Vele I miss my child and my husband. I have missed calls from my mother as well. I’ll call her back on my drive back home.

I walk past Wandi, Melo and Mr Maphumulo. Wandi has just made Mr Maphumulo food. So he’s eating. I say goodbye. They all say goodbye. Wandi even says that we will chat. I agree and give her space. She’s being a makoti. I understand.

I’m driving home now. Let me phone Keith first. He is actually away on business. He’s in South Africa, Cape Town.

“Hey my love”, he answers his phone.

“Hey baby. How are you doing?”

“I just miss you. A lot. You should take me with you on your trips.”

“I’d love that. Plus, I’m very horny right now. And only you can solve this problem.”

I actually laugh.

“How’s my boy?” He asks me.

“I’m headed home now, so it will be me and him when I get home. We can video call you after dinner.”

“I have a meeting just after 7pm. As soon as I’m done, I’ll phone you guys.”

“Okay baby. Sure. When are you coming back again?”

“Tomorrow my baby. I honestly cannot wait.”

“We miss you, love.”

“I miss you too, baby.”

“And I love you, baby.”

“I love you too, baby.”

-

My kid is running around the house, driving mzala crazy. What I don’t understand is why mzala is running after him. Upset as she is and yelling at him the way that she is, he’s completely entertained. He’s laughing so hard that he even stops running to catch his breath from laughing and running. My chaos part 2 has started.

“Risuna!” I’m the one who makes him stop this nonsense.

“Mzala! Hai your child!” Mzala is so tired. She’s even sweating. What were they doing?

“Why are you being naughty, Risuna?” I ask.

“I’m not. I’m playing. And mzala is very funny”, he says as he laughs.

“Are you saying your elder is funny?” Mzala.

“Mama, mzala wants me to go bath. I tell her that if she can catch me, I’ll bath. She told me she was an athlete at school so I want to see if she can beat me. When I run, she runs like this” then he imitates her… tongue out… he even splashes water on his face to imitate the sweating. I’m not even joking. It’s the exact sight I saw when I walked in here. I really want to burst into laughter. But mzala is so mad!

Then Risuna bursts into laughter.

“Mzala, you can knock off. I’ll take over from here”. I say.

“Mzala, you must discipline your child! This is no way to treat an elder!”

Okay, now she’s judging me.

“Hawu mzala, I’ll talk to him.”

“Talk to him?! This child needs a hiding! And a serious one! This is not a child! It’s a brat. And I told sesi! She said she’d talk to you.”

That explains the multiple missed calls.

“Mzala, I’ll talk to my son.”

“Wabona wena neh… you are raising a criminal! This one will be in prison before the age of 25. O tlare I didn’t tell you. He doesn’t listen! He doesn’t have respect! His teachers complain about him. I complain about him. All you do is talk to him?! You’ll regret this. You’ll see.”

“Mzala, I don’t appreciate your tone and your uncalled-for prophecy! Keith and I are raising our child as best as we see fit.”

“Keith? Ukai yena? He sees that you are an unfit mother who doesn’t know how to discipline her brat and he’s not here to watch the ship sink right before his eyes. He’s out there with a girlfriend to release his stress.”

“Keith is away on business, mzala.” I say.

“Weh! Watsiba I feel sorry for you. You all go to school to become more and more stupid. Your house is falling apart right before your eyes and you are blinded by what you choose will make you cope. That man doesn’t like you working. He wants you at home, disciplining your little brat and creating a decent human being out of him. He wants you making this child a sibling so that he learns some kind of responsibility, and not see everything to be about him. But wena o rotehile akiri? You want to work and hang out with your friends. You want to hire people to take care of and raise your unruly son. Keith is gone! Yena he will love you and marry you and hide manyala ahaye because he loves you. It’s just your actions that are driving him away. O hopole that you are his second marriage. He’s more seasoned at this than what you are. Even his ability to lie and hide things from you has improved. But nna… I know a well-taken-care-of man when I see one. Kgale ke phila.”

I just look at her.

I choose to not believe her.

I trust my husband.

I trust that my child is not a criminal in the making.

“Goodnight!” And just like that, mzala knocks off.

…

I needed these three days. And Phindi didn’t disappoint at all. She made sure that I’m all the way happy and that no part of my body remains untouched.

I like her. A lot. She explores me. She takes risks with her body alongside mine.

The best part about her is that she’s married too. So she has as much to lose as I do. So I know that she won’t be a lunatic. And this arrangement between us is as good as we want it to be and will last as long as we want it to last. Her husband lives in the UK. She’s here in the kingdom with her three children. She’s a CEO of her business that is also here in the kingdom. We met at a conference that I attended a while back. And honestly, I’ve been captivated ever since. Apparently, so has she.

“We need to get back to the running again, baby. Your wife is over feeding you and your body is aging faster than your actual age. Look at these love handles”, she says to me, running her hands around my waist… removing my towel that I had on since I did just take a shower.

“It’s work stress, baby. You know I barely have time to run or gym.” I say.

“We need to change that. Get a treadmill or something in your house. I don’t want you having a heart attack while we are deep within our shit in bed.”

We both laugh.

“Well, you look really nice.” I tell her. She is looking good. For a mother of three, she looks nothing older than 28. Her long weave is making her look expensive. She has a small body frame. She’s a runner. A committed one at that. She has a personal gym trainer. She has a physiotherapist that she goes to weekly. And she’s a “Saturday mornings are for the spa” kind of woman. I even know that her Saturday mornings are off limits.

“Are we in our love pod this weekend?” I ask her.

She shakes her head, lets go of my body, then gets back to getting dressed. Then she says, “the kids and I are going to see their dad in Manchester. I’ll be there for the next two weeks.”

I nod my head.

“So no contact?” Me.

She shakes her head and says, “None at all. You know he will catch on as soon as you even text me and he will make life difficult for us. Unengane encane, Keith. Uyakudinga. My husband will honestly end it for you. I don’t want your son to suffer because you and I chose to be reckless. I’m even going to leave this phone in SA and use my main line only while I’m away.”

“I understand. I’m going to miss you.” I say.

“I know. But you and I agreed that we wouldn’t be reckless with this. You still need to love and honour your wife. If your marriage changes, it gets better - not worse. If she starts feeling like she’s losing you, we are done, Keith. You and I - it’s just sex. There’s no reason why our kids and partners need to suffer at any point because of this.”

I nod my head.

We finish getting dressed. She’s packed her bag. She double-checks my bag to make sure that there is no evidence of her at all in my stuff. As she does this, I get dressed as well.

I feel her hands on my ass now.

I look at her.

She has her bag in hand… travel bag being pulled with one hand, her handbag is over the shoulder of her other hand.

“Keep well, lover.” She says as she kisses me.

“You too, beautiful.” I say.

She leaves.

…

I arrive at my house just after 4pm. I find a few cars here. So I park my car just outside of my gate.

I take my bag, some flowers and the gifts that I bought for my wife and kid: a new Chanel bag and Dior perfume for my wife, then a new electronic vehicle for my son. The number plates are “RISUNA GP”. It’s a black Range Rover Sport - just like his father’s car.

“Ladies”, I say as I step into my living room.

I see the whole gang is here… Tamia, Bassie, Morafe and Wandi. Their kids are also here, going crazy in Risuna’s playroom. Risuna’s playroom has nice stuff, that I will admit. Then it has a sliding door leading to the garden where he has his jungle gyms, trampolines and other outdoor activity stuff. I really wish he had a sibling to share all of this with.

“Hi Keith”, these ladies greet me.

“How are you doing?” Me.

Bassie walks up to me, smiling from ear to ear. I’m also very happy to see her.

We greet each other with a kiss. I give her flowers and her gift. She thanks me and brushes my dick.

What’s happening?!

“Let me help him get settled. I’ll be right back.” Bassie tells the ladies.

“Take your time.” Tamia slyly says. I just laugh. I wonder what they’ve been talking about.

We get into the bedroom and Bassie is all over me. I’m not sure what’s happening, but she’s never this keen for sex.

But I take advantage.

I undress her.

I put her on the bed.

As I’m about to put my penis in there, she says, “are you cheating on me?”

What the fuck?!

She can’t possibly know. I’ve been careful. Phindi has been extra careful on behalf of both of us.

I just get up.

I sit on the bed.

I try to wrap my head around this question.

“What are you asking me, Basetsana?” I actually even pretend to be offended by the question.

“Mzala says that you are cheating on me.” She says.

Mzala?!

Wow!

“What am I not doing right, Basetsana? What don’t I do for you and Risuna?” I say. I’m even getting angry.

“I’m sorry. It’s just been eating away at me all night. I couldn’t even eat or sleep.”

“Is that why your friends are all over our house? You are discussing our marriage with them and accusing me of shit I don’t even have time to do because I’m so busy working my ass off for you and our son.”

She’s quiet.

I’m quiet.

She then says, “Look Keith, I’m choosing to trust you. I’m choosing to believe that if there’s something wrong that I’m doing or there’s something that you are not happy with when it comes to me, you’ll talk to me and you’ll give us an opportunity to fix it… you won’t run to ejaculate inside another woman. I won’t even go looking for evidence of whether you are cheating on me or not. If you are doing something, it will come to light on its own. And if it does, Keith… I want you to know that I’ll take my son and leave you. I won’t even sit here and listen to your explanations. I won’t even try to fix it or forgive you. We will be done. You are a grown and consenting adult. You know what is acceptable and what isn’t. If you are cheating, I will not accept it as a mistake… and just know that God will deal with you accordingly.”

Then she leaves the room.

I don’t know why I feel so shitty.

I’m in my room now, unpacking my travel bag. I’m mostly putting my stuff in the laundry basket. Bassie is still with her friends and Risuna is still having the time of his life out there.

When I am done, I turn on the TV, lay on my bed and go online to purchase some gym equipment for myself. I think I also need to get into shape again. I’m not a buff guy with a six pack and firm glutes or whatever. The only thing I have going for me is that I’m tall and dark. Noria loved that about me. Bassie seems to love it about me. Oh… and I’m a gifted Tsonga man.

But being with Phindi and watching how she looks after herself… I suppose it won’t hurt to also fix myself up. We actually have a gym in this house that neither Bassie nor myself use. It’s just there. We don’t even have equipment in there.

I order two treadmills, two cycling machines, the rowing machines, a punching bag, boxing gloves for myself and Bassie in case she decides to join me, medicine balls, dumbbells and weights. I notice that there’s a special. Basically this special says because I’ve shopped for more than R10 000, I get someone who will deliver these and set them up for me for free. I just accept the special. Whatever, honestly.

Now, I take my nap. I’ll only see Bassie when the girls remember that they all have husbands to go back home to. I’ll see Risuna later on when he’s done being a host as well.

…

“Hai ngeke mah, kuyabanda la. How does dad live here?” My daughter, Kayla, says. She’s my eldest. And yes, Manchester is cold. Tholoana Kingdom just rains a lot, but compared to Manchester, it’s not that cold.

“You get used to it, Kayla.” My husband says. His name is Harry Wright. Yes, I married a white man and I have three caramelo babies. I’m just proud that they can speak Zulu - it must be because they live with me and are very familiar with my parents’ kraal in Eshowe. They picked up seSotho in Tholoana Kingdom. I’d say that they are very multilingual kids. I’m proud of them.

Kayla - whom I also named Nkanyezi - is my eldest. My second child is my second daughter, Charlotte - whom I also named Nomcobo. My last born is my son, Michael Bhuza Wright. The Zulu names all came from my dad, I swear. I would have gone for something less out of the Shaka Zulu movie.

“Dad, this place is cold. No one can get used to this. We’ve been coming here for two weeks every school holiday and every midterm break, but I’m still not used to this”. Kayla says.

I serve Harry his coffee.

He kisses me as he accepts it, rubbing my lower back.

“I was actually hoping that I’d convince you guys to actually move up here and live with me.” Harry says.

“There’s no way”, Charlotte says.

“That could never be me”, Kayla.

“Dad, why don’t you just move to the kingdom and just come live with us? You and mom are probably the only two married people I know that don’t live together. Don’t married people have needs?” I actually choke on my tea as Charlotte says this.

Harry finds it funny.

“I’ll come live with you, dad. I’m tired of being the only boy anyway”, Mikey says.

“Thanks my boy. But seriously guys… your mom has a business and in my view she can pretty much run it from anywhere. I have a job that I can’t just leave.” Harry says.

“But you can find a job anywhere. Why do you specifically want to work here?” Kayla.

“My family is here.” Harry.

“Mom’s family lives in a different country from us.” Charlotte.

“But it’s a drive away”, Harry.

“Moving to Manchester would make it a flight away.” Kayla.

Harry is quiet.

“Dad, this place is not nice to settle in. It’s always cold. It’s not nice being black here - and here, we are black, not mixed-race. We’d be miserable here”, Kayla.

“How do you know that? You guys haven’t even tried”, Harry.

“Dad -

I intervene and say, “How about we test all these theories before we make a decision? We move up here with dad for a year. We try this out for one year. If we love it, we will move up here permanently. But if we hate it… then babe, you need to come back to the kingdom with us.”

“What about school? And our friends? I actually have a life, you know.” Charlotte.

“You’ll go to a new school here and make new friends. Our schools are great too”, Harry.

“What about my boyfriend?!” Says Kayla, my fourteen year old.

“Lord, help me.” Harry says.

I actually burst into laughter.

“What about mom’s business?” Mikey asks us.

“I’ll have to run it from here then make occasional trips to the kingdom from time to time.” I say.

“Can we actually go with you? Like to actually check on our lives and make sure that we are still relevant? Because I for one know for a fact that I’m not staying here forever”, Charlotte… my twelve year old.

I look at Harry.

He’s not impressed hey.

“I need you guys to give this a chance. It’s important to me. Is that a lot to ask?” Harry.

The kids understand the seriousness of this.

“Dad, we understand that this is important to you. But we also need to be comfortable and you need to also understand what’s important to us too. You are asking us to just uproot our lives and move to a country that doesn’t even like the colour of our skin. Have you thought about what this means for us? We are allowed to have reservations and actually cling on something familiar that makes us happy”, Kayla.

“To be clear… I’m not asking. I’m telling you! And I’m your parent. In fact, I’m the head of this house and family. My word is final.” He’s suddenly scary now.

“What about how we feel?” Charlotte.

“You’ll have to get over it and do as we say”, Harry.

“What if we said no?” Kayla.

He looks at me as if blaming me for this. Did he not hear me suggest we try this out for a year at least?

He walks out of the kitchen as if saying “speak to your kids!”

“Mom, you cannot agree to this! You just cannot!” Kayla.

“And dad is being unfair. He’s being a dictator”, Charlotte.

“I can stay with dad by myself”, Mikey.

“There we go! Problem solved.” Charlotte.

“All my kids stay with me. Mikey goes where I go.” I say.

“It’s the four of us and one of him. If he moves, it’s less of a change than if four people move”, Charlotte.

“Have you guys considered his point of view in this?” I ask.

“We have. Then we realised that he doesn’t care for ours, so why should we care for his? It’s bad enough dealing with this cold for two weeks at a time. Now we must come here forever? Mom, do something”, Kayla.

“You are all moving here! And it’s final!” Harry says. I didn’t even realise that he was back in the kitchen.

The girls are not happy at all.

…

It’s evening. The day was pretty sour after the conversation earlier on.

I’m in bed. I just took a shower. Now I’ve just lotioned myself and am ensuring that I’m warm as I slip into bed. He’s in here, on the phone with his parents and telling them that the kids and I are moving here. The parents sound excited. I’m not excited about moving here. It’s not even about Keith. I don’t love Keith… he’s just black dick after I’ve been having wife dick for thirteen years of marriage. That’s why I encourage him to be a good husband. I don’t want him having ideas of us leaving our partners and families for each other. I love Harry. I just don’t like Manchester. I’m with my kids on this 100%.

Yes, I was living and studying in the UK when I met Harry, married him and had kids with him. I moved from here to the kingdom when I just couldn’t get my business off the ground and the best thing that I could be was Harry’s PA. I am Phindile Wright. I am the daughter of Khombisile and Mlungisi Zwide. I’ve never been destined for the bare minimum. My mother opened her first supermarket when I was four years old. My father started his own farm when I was two. I come from two business geniuses who created their own wealth and self-built their ‘royalty’ status in our community. When people talk about the Zwide family, it’s always with a dose of respect. When Harry came to pay lobola and we had our traditional wedding in Eshowe, people said “of course she married a white man. What black man would be good enough for her?”

Now for all of that to just be Harry’s PA? Who only got the job because I’m his wife? No thanks!

So I packed up my things and my three kids - at the time when I left, they were ages 3, 8 and 10 - and I went to start my empire. And it’s growing!

So moving here, I feel like I’m headed towards a set back. My business will not thrive here. It won’t. I tried. I failed. But you know what… my marriage is worth the shot.

“You okay?” He asks me as he gets into bed.

“Yeah.” I say with a feint smile.

“Thank you for supporting me out there with the three rebels.” I don’t appreciate him calling my kids rebels.

“It’s change. When have you ever known kids to adjust well to change?”

“But still… I wouldn’t have won out there without you. Thanks.” He says.

“So… how will you juggle yourself between us and your other family?” I ask him.

He looks at me.

“I mean… Julie is the one that even your family loves. Her and her kids are the preferred ones. I thought life was easier for you with us being away. Are you ready for the chaos that’s about to come with the kids knowing that you have two kids with your high school sweetheart and your family treats her like your wife and me like your dirty secret?” I say.

“Julie won’t come near my children… or my wife. You guys always come first.” He says.

“I’m sure she was fine with that when we were far away. But if we are here full time… look Harry, I just don’t want issues or drama. You can sleep with her all you want, but I want my dignity and my children’s sanity to be protected and respected at all times.”

He nods his head.

I doubt that this is going to work. But let’s see what happens.

[togrowoldinv]

Familiarity

Wanda Maximoff x Female Reader

Wanda is living her best sitcom life in Westview until you show up. It’s up to you to help her remember her old life

Warnings: Smut! 18+ please! Oral and fingering (Wanda receiving) and language

Note: This is milf Wanda 😌 For the sake of this story, there’s more time between the events of the Avengers movies and WandaVision.

Wanda Maximoff Masterlist, Main Masterlist

Drinks. Bread. Chips. Fruit. You’re going through your grocery list in your head as you turn onto the next isle at the grocery store and bump directly into another person.

“Oh, I’m so sorry ma’am. Let me help you,” you say as you pick up the things that the woman had dropped. “Here you are.”

You stand back up to be met with a beautiful woman with two small babies in her cart. She’s exactly who you were hoping you would eventually run into. The new woman in town, the one with a mysterious husband and seemingly magical babies.

“Thank you,” the woman says as she takes the groceries from your outstretched hands. “Sorry I probably should have been on the right side of the isle,” she says.

“That’s quite alright. I wasn’t watching where I was going either. I’m y/n by the way. Are you getting supplies for the neighborhood cookout?”

“Oh, yes, I am. I’m Wanda,” Wanda says and as if on cue both of the boys get fussy. “And this is Tommy and Billy,” she says as she rubs both of their backs to calm them. It doesn’t do much good. “I better be getting them back home for a nap. It was nice to meet you, y/n.”

“It was a pleasure, Wanda,” you say, reaching your hand out for her to shake. She does so and you feel an electric shock course through your veins.

As you walk away from Wanda, you notice she stands there for a few moments and seems a little disoriented. Perhaps she felt that electricity too.

It’s the next day when you expect to see her at the annual fall cookout. The weather is nice, so you put on your favorite fall flannel and head out of the door. It’s a short walk to the town square.

When you arrive, you see Wanda over by the haybales with her boys. You greet your other neighbors and drop off your food at the tables that are set up.

“Hey there, neighbor,” you say to Wanda as you make your way to her. You offer her a drink and she takes it with a kind smile.

 “Hey y/n,” Wanda says. “I like your shirt.”

“Oh, thanks,” you say. You’re about to speak again when you’re interrupted by the sudden presence of a man.

“Hi there darling,” the man says to Wanda as he takes a baby from her arms. You put together that it’s her husband.

“Vision, this is y/n. Y/n, this is my husband,” Wanda says.

“Nice to meet you,” you say politely.

You converse with Wanda and Vision a little while longer before you excuse yourself to help with the cooking. For the next thirty minutes, you keep your eyes on Wanda and watch for her to get a moment alone.

It comes when she says she is going to her house to get more supplies for the babies. You walk quickly after her and tap on her shoulder.

“Fancy meeting you here,” you joke in the timely fashion and Wanda laughs.

“You can come inside with me if you want,” Wanda says as she opens her front door.

You follow her inside and decide it’s time for you to follow through with what you’re here for.

“Wanda before you go upstairs, I need to talk to you,” you say.

“Oh is this about the neighborhood parking or something because-“

“Cut the fake town shit, Wanda,” you say. She startles at your tone and walks closer to you.

“Who are you?” she asks.

“I didn’t lie about who I am. Unlike you. You’re an Avenger walking around here playing house. Just drop the act and let’s leave this place, Wanda.”

“No.”

“Don’t make me stop you myself,” you say.

Wanda is extremely close to you now. Her eyes look into yours with a certain intensity that you’re sure they’re about to turn red.

“You can’t stop me, y/n,” she says with a tone that almost makes you shiver. Her accent is back, and its thickness intensifies the situation.

“Yes I can, Wanda. And I will,” you say, standing your ground.

“Make a move. You’ll regret it,” she says.

“You have to leave this place, Wanda. You have to come back to us,” you say.

“To us? I don’t even know you. Who is this us?”

“You know me, Wanda. And you know Sam, Bucky, Rhodey, Steve, Peter, Nat. All of us. I tried to play nice and let you remember me, but I can’t do it anymore.”

“Who are you to me?”

“Leave Westview and you’ll remember.”

“I can’t,” she says, her voice still bordering anger but there’s a slight change in her tone this time. You’re breaking down her walls.

“You can’t or you won’t?”

“I- I don’t know. Everything was going fine here and now you show up like this. I just don’t need to leave. This is my home now,” Wanda explains.

She’s still close to you and you place a hand on her cheek. There’s a reason Wanda doesn’t flinch. Deep down she knows you won’t hurt her.

“Kiss me, Wanda,” you say.

Her eyes go wide. And you repeat your words.

Wanda’s eyes search yours before she leans in and places her lips against yours. It’s chaste and tentative but it sparks a familiar feeling in her.

“Y/n,” Wanda says after she pulls away.

“Wanda,” you say.

She kisses you again. This time it’s ferocious. Her lips chase after yours like a lioness after its prey. Your hands travel down from her face to her neck as hers circle your waist.

When you move your lips to her neck, she pulls you further into the living room and you fall back on her couch. Wanda straddles you as your hands fiddle with the zipper on her jeans.

“Can I?” You ask her, nodding to the pants.

“Please,” Wanda replies.

Your fingers work quickly to unzip her pants and pull them down her legs. You take this chance to flip her onto her back and hover over her.

She’s still in her sweatshirt as you kiss the insides of her thighs. Wanda makes sweet moans as you get closer to her aching core. The panties she wears does little to stop you from seeing how wet she is for you.

“Please y/n. Please fuck me,” Wanda groans out as your fingers play with her underwear waistband.

“I will, my love,” you reply.

With that, you slip off her panties and dive into her core. It’s the familiar feeling of your tongue against her that makes her start to truly remember you.

“Y/n, you feel so good,” Wanda says as you add your fingers to the mix and she feels so much pleasure that she’s practically dripping.

You keep your fingers moving at a steady pace as you emerge from between her lips. Your face has evidence of Wanda’s arousal and she bites her lip at the sight.

Wanda reaches her hand out to grasp your shirt and bring you in for a kiss. She tastes herself on your tongue and moans as your fingers hit the right spot.

“Let go, Max,” you say. She shudders at the nickname only you call her. “You know me. You can do it.”

And she listens to you. When she comes undone by your touch, she feels a new sense of familiarity. One she can’t help but acknowledge.

You two sit up and Wanda looks you over intently. You hand her her pants and she puts them back on.

“You’re my- are you my wife?” Wanda asks.

“You remember me now?” You ask her.

“Yeah I think I do. But how did this happen? Why am I in here with Vision and my boys?” Wanda asks.

“We don’t know exactly. But some time has passed since Vision died. And I know he was your great love, Wanda, but you’re mine. We were together. We were happy and then you were gone. It took me weeks to discover you were here,” you explain.

“I don’t know how any of this started, but I do know that I can end it. I just have to give up my boys,” Wanda says sadly.

“Wanda, look at me,” you start, “we can have kids. Me and you. And there’s gotta be some element of realness to these boys too. Seeing you with them makes me believe that’s true. I promise we can figure it out, my love. But you have to let this town free.”

“I will,” Wanda says. “I’ll make this right.”

You stand up off the couch and offer Wanda your hand. She takes it and you walk back outside. You let go of her and let her say a final goodbye to her children and to Vision. You can’t imagine how much it must hurt her to lose them.

Wanda takes another look around before she starts letting the red force field start to open and fade away. It pains her to do it, but as she starts being more free she starts regaining her memory of you.

At the time the town is back to normal, Wanda runs to envelope you in a hug.

“I’m so sorry, y/n. I’m so sorry, my beautiful wife,” she says over and over again as you hug her.

“It’s okay, Wanda. I’m just glad you’re okay,” you say.

She pulls back from the hug and kisses you deeply. Feeling completely familiar now, she smiles into the kiss and pulls you closer.

“I love you, y/n.”

“I love you too, Wanda.”

“Let’s go home,” she says.

“Let’s do it. Hey, there’s one more thing Wanda,” you say.

“What is it, baby?” She asks you.

“You were a total milf in there,” you tease her.

“Oh, well my boys were real to me so maybe I still am I what you call a milf,” Wanda suggests.

“You’re right, Max. I’m married to a total milf,” you say. She laughs at that.

As the two of you make your way back home, you discuss how you’re going to find the boys. You’ll do whatever it takes to make your wife happy. Even if it means entering the multiverse if that’s what it takes.

But for now, you drive home with your wife by your side. It’s right where you want to be.

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