#he wouldnt want to die any other way
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Imagine in your head a drawn line representing a spectrum and that line is labeled "sincerity". Hua Cheng and Shen Yuan are on opposite sides of that spectrum
#my text#svsss#tgcf#shen yuan#hua cheng#sy gets through life flying by the seat of his pants never comprehending his own desires n not really chasing anything just bc he wants it#meanwhile hc has known what he wants since forever and has doggedly chased after it ever since#knowing himself in his whole entirety#thank god binghe is also in touch with his desires (even if it doesnt always manifest sincerely) or else sy would never have a happy ending#that also kinda conjures an interesting diff between hc and lbh#bingy does resort to manipulation if he feels his relationship to sqq is threatened#but hc is more selfless towards xl and would accept most any genuine separate if thats what xl wanted#binghe cant survive without sqq but he also cant die bc of the narrative's need of him so he claws to have him in this life#meanwhile hc has face down true deaths and only lingers FOR xl and would be content disappearing if xl truly wanted that#as he wouldnt want to live in a world like that#binghe's golden protagonist aura clashes interestingly with fafa's child soldier cannon fodder turned villain-by-reputation too...#even if they are also quite similar in other ways
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I will forever maintain that Jason would've been fine and Not a vigilante without Bruce making him Robin
#''bruce never recruited any kids for his mission/war'' falls apart immediately when u consider jason's backstory im ngl#jason todd#my dc posting#his whole character to me is breaking the conventions of the medium#batman#like i hate how ppl treat others like theyre ridiculous when they even dare to critique bruce in any way#i am capable of suspending my disbelief and accepting some things in fiction as okay even if they wouldnt be irl#its the viewers responsibility to meet stories whre theyre at#but its also the story's responsibility to upkeep that yknow?#''child/teen sidekicks are okay n not morally dubious'' okay :D yay :3#then one of them gets brutally murdered by a villain and im like. yeah uhh no. cant do that anymore 👍sorry#''they all became vigilantes on their own bruce couldnt have stopped them'' yall under the impression bruce hates kid heroes n wants them#properly safe n is just doing damage control/harm prevention#when hes more the lines of encouraging them#difference between ''i cant stop u from doing this so ill make it as safe as i can'' and#''im actively going to encourage you to do this dangerous thing''#i have many opinions n im ngl theyre constantly shifting n they depend on a lot#im not gonna hate on lego batman for robin thats a goddamn childrens movie who tf gives a shit#comics are fair game tho. have u seen what gows on in there.#bruce couldve stopped jason from being a vigilante n instead encouraged him is the hill i will fucking die on#the victim blaming of jason has Got to stoppp its the worst thing ever#also just to remind everyone. ''a good soldier''.#wow a character blames themselves for the death of their child and to torture themselves they put the words 'good soldier' on their memorial#anyway if you even dare to think abt the implications ure stupid n#like do u hear urself whattt
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God every day I think about Akane’s breakdown in door 3 because there really is no correct way to interpret that and every possibility makes me crazy. Like she sees this fucked up corpse whom Junpei (and the player, depending on how they play) believes is their friend Snake, but she knows that it’s Guy X. It’s a man she very intentionally put in the game for this very purpose, so that he could die horrifically and be displayed for everyone to see. And she has a full mental breakdown over being trapped in this room with the corpse, being trapped by Junpei, to the point where she rips out her hair and starts bleeding from how much she bangs on the door screaming to get out. And fuck, there’s so many possibilities like
Akane could be feeling genuine terror over the sight of the body, and with that remorse. She made this happen, she wanted this to happen, and now she’s forced to quite literally watch the damage she’s caused unfold. She can detach herself from his murder easily in other timelines where she doesn’t have to look at it, and she can sleep easy knowing that her hands are technically clean because she didn’t do the literal killing. But she can’t do that here, and she has to face the fact that not only did she happily cause this death, she failed her mission. She isn’t going to survive, and now this man is dead for nothing and everything is her fault
On the other hand, her entire breakdown could be completely fabricated in order to keep playing the role of the damsel in distress who is so innocent that the very sight of blood drives her to insanity. The interesting part about this is that if she could fake such a horrific breakdown, just how much of her personality a facade? We know she wants revenge, for everyone from Cradle to feel even an ounce of the pain she and so many others went through, but we don’t get to see the extent of how much she feels this way. We never hear directly from Akane about her feelings on any of the original organizers, just her note about her desire to punish them. She hates them, but does she see their deaths as a necessary evil, or does she feel joy and satisfaction at watching them go? It’s absolutely horrifying not knowing, not being able to see her true feelings, not knowing just how real or fake she is, the extent of her madness. Perhaps she doesn’t even know that herself
IN OTHER WORDS, it’s fucked
#zero escape#akane kurashiki#the truth lies somewhere in the middle im sure#but god both possibilities are so tasty#personally i think her reaction is fake to an extent like i think she does feel at least some joy over the murders#shes doing a good deed and ridding the world of evil#but i think that this is a rare moment where she actually thinks for a minute about what shes done and how its fucked#like shes never truly present in the moment she can never fully grasp the severity of the trauma#and i kinda want to believe that this route is a bit unexpected for her#like she had to have known it was a possibility but its entire existence relies on junpei betraying the others#and i think that she was ready to write it off as a rare possibility so she didnt worry about it too much#because the only thing holding junpei back from choosing door 3 is aoi saying that picking it would require leaving people to die#and akane has nothing but her trust that junpei is good and wouldnt do something so horrible to rely on#but then it happens and she cant handle the uncertainty she wasnt ready for ANY of this to happen#not only did junpei betray the others he betrayed HER in so many ways he doesnt realize#he did what he thought was good for june but its exactly the opposite hes not only damned her#but he trapped her in a room with the disgusting corpse that she put there and everything throws her off#and she has to confront that even junpei is unpredictable and is capable of evil and that she herself has fucked up so much#she cant escape this without literally STEPPING INTO the entrails of someone she killed#and its all just too much and she completely loses it#so yeah for me its less a mental breakdown cuz she feels bad for murder#but more a breakdown because shes been betrayed and caught off guard and has a brief realization of how terrifying her actions are#those may sound the same but they arent please guys please :(#as you can see im very normal about this and good god 999 is so fucking good
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having upsetting thoughts about the “live” ending
#what would he think? would he think the audience just wants to see him suffer for as long as he's entertaining?#how do you feel being dragged away knowing you're going to loose every memory you've ever had after just getting them all back?#how do you come to terms with the fact that you *begged* to die and they refused you?#do you think h'ed fight back? or just accept his fate silently and let himself be dragged away by showfall's drones?#sorry genloss is giving me such severe brainrot#it hurts me so good#honest to god want to write stuff for this and i am not a writer#shut up virgil#genloss#like you know if chat picked live it'd be because we couldnt stand to kill him/had *some* kind of hope he could escape eventually#but he wouldnt know that#he'd just think that however many people (hundreds? thousands? he doesnt know) wanted him to suffer#i so fucking wish gl!ranboo could know just how badly chat wanted to find a way to save him#GENUINELY almost tied the poll 50/50 to find any other option than kill him or have him suffer#uwahhhhhhhh
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I don't know how to explain it, but Scylla from Epic the Musical: Thunder Saga is a VegasPete song. Particularly the coup on the major family, with Vegas as Odysseus and Pete as Scylla.
#“but wouldnt it be the reverse-” no#the song is scylla empathizing with odysseus in a clearer more intimate way than any other epic antagonist#where this is the first time they've met but she recognizes odysseus is trying to survive#but in turn scylla is doing what it takes to survive too and attacks not necessarily in self defense but attacks back#pete knowing more about vegas than anyone else but still having pain and rage from the torture#and still having his loyalty to the major family and telling vegas to choke on his tears (whose vegas or petes)#and to die in the blood he bathes in (references to vegas torture and the wounds inflicted)#sure in the end pete doesnt want vegas to die but he didnt leave vegas unscathed in the battle#the opening conversation between odysseus and his right hand man is between vegas and macau by the way#also scyllas early singing can be taken as pete trying to rationalize betraying the major family for vegas#this has been a long way of saying this song is so Coup!VegasPete#vegaspete#kinnporsche the series
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should i get really high
#i wanna relapse i wanna die#what does it mean when your best friend has a girlfriend but tells you it feels like he met u in the womb and he wants to die when u die#worst part is i wouldnt have it any other way i think id try to kill anyone who tried to get me in a relationship
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my parents really are never going to change. theyre a team and im on my own. in the most literal sense
#i see it every time i express how i feel about something and they dont incorporate that in their beliefs for next time#and use it as something to help us navigate our interactions better#its alwaysssss right back to square one. same exact repetitive auto responses and nonchalant attitude toward my feelings#i try to reach some understanding but man its fucking impossible when the other person doesnt hear u at all#everything is so miserable#i dont have it in me to try and make somethinh out of myself because theyve completely destroyed any self image i have#but i also need to make something of myself so i can afford to get the Fuck out of here and cut off any contact#for the rest of my life#i feel trapped in the most hopeless way possible#today my father told me im going to die alone and unloved and no one will ever care about me#just because i told him to be mindful of the things he says rven indirectly#because ive gotten mad over it before so to avoid any future situations again#its best to avoid expressing the thought he expressed#for a guy who hasnt asked me a single personal question he really said all that like he knew me even a little bit#with so much demonic confidence#never wouldve thought id hear those words from a family member but it seems like he festered them for a while#and my mom stayed silent the entire time scrolling on her phone#clearly im not wanted around here and if i were petty id think 'ill distance myself to teach them a lesson'#but i know theyd prefer that#whenever i do isolate its only for my own sake. which is funny because when that happens they STILL blame me for isolating#nothing good ever comes from trying to insert some common sense into them#im always the demon child i ask for too much im ungrateful i should tolerate their mistreatmant#i should boil down and kill any feelings i have that are a reaction to their behavior etc#but all this is going to make me do is kill all of us#its reaching to that point i think#so if i ever go missing from tumblr thats probably what happened#if i lived away from them i wouldnt put them on my mind at all but i have to see them during the day#it adds and adds and adds and adds onto my mental state and one day ill snap#im a rat in a cage thats being constantly negatively stimulated#living in this type of environment is only possible if the other people are puttibg some effort into trying to coexist in peace
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SO FUNNY I was just about to write in complaining that I got sick a day after you posted your last comic... I caught it... yet I don't have an Arakawa to take care of me... [<- I started writing this when you answered my last ask]
OH BUT NO WORRIES AT ALL I always love reading your responses and these were no exception :) It really means the world to me to have you guys listen! I believe I've [probably] mentioned the headcanon is a bit personal [In Other Words projection galore but. Believable Enough. Please DO dare to think... It'll work out...]; I was more or less expecting to keep it to myself forever because I felt the Venn Diagram of people who would know what I'm talking about and be interested had no overlap. I'm incredibly grateful to be able to have these talks and the assurance that's not the case :) and also I just kinda don't wanna Mansplain Jo To You so I'm glad that doesn't seem to be the case as well
AND I MEAN... LOL... LMAO EVEN...
it would be a pretty fair to pursue that line of thinking given he has both visible symptoms of sleep deprivation and things to lose sleep over... reminded of Debt [TWISTING AND WAILING AND CONVULSING] but also the counterpart to Matrophobia you were thinking about...
I absoluuuutely get what you mean by the mirror thing too I see you in the kitchen I smell what you're cooking... same here... very excited to see what he's like when he doesn't have to be a bullet as well... here are those for the sake of completion [If I May I think perhaps he wouldn't feel the need to change his name, just feel a disconnect if it's his father's family name and/or his given name was chosen by his father. Like an ambivalent Aoki I guess; he knows he'll answer to it so why fix what ain't broke and "inconvenience others"...]
SORRY FOR RAMBLING MYSELF HGLDJLKDJG again No Worries At All since you shouldn't be saying much with your Gameritis anyway... I hope your wrist gets better soon, rest up and take care!
NOT MY SILLY COMIC GIVIN YOU THE FLU (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) hope youre doin better now gettin sick SUCKS (╯x╰ )
oh but yaya of course : i have a cockroach for a brain so im glad star can supplement a lot more valuable commentary (╯▽╰ ) even if i have bugs for brains im still happy to see what you (and star should they write again) have to say :)
#snap chats#my only contributions to anything is illustration and now im gettin people sick 😩 horrendous..#in any case... as a serial Nightmare Haver its only logical id inevitably project that onto people in Way Worse situations than i#if im upset bout the littelest things then i can only IMAGINE The Horrors with what jo- not to mention arakawa- have to deal with#jo esp when he outright confessed to being haunted by masato's outburst for. 'Who Knows How Long'#And Lest I Neglect Ikumi. she also gotta have it bad... everyone gets nightmares its like an episode of oprah in my mind..#oh but i dont think you mentioned it was a personal topic- i had A Feeling tho thats also why i feel unprepared to touch on it#i generally try not to talk bout things i dont know about and while i know SOME things i certainly wouldnt want to start gettin into it#esp if someones dealt with it themselves i dont wanna say nothin STUPID. more than usual anyway#not without doing studying beforehand with a sensitive topic as such BUT LIKE I SAID im still very much open to listening#onto topis i am familiar with.. i GUESS..i still very much think of jo's potential fear of ending up like his dad#i just wish i knew what to do with the idea.. again my brain is very small and ive accepted that bout myself. at most i can draw but that i#on that note tho About His Name. yeah not many notes on that LMAO I Agree in other words#esp at his age its just a. Well I'll Die Soon Anyway There's No Point In Changing and the whole#The Few People Who Know Me Already Know Me By This So I Shouldnt#just sort of something to be numb to by this point#anyhow... i think thats all my gumball dome can rattle out... now to . drastically shift the tone of my blog with a post BYE TY FOR WRITIN#i always feel bad for apologizing since apologies are like promises and Apparently Im Very Bad At Keeping Promises so.#Forgive Me for having pool noodles for braincells.. i can only try to make up for it with works...#works that I Hope do convey the fact i Try to think and i take everythin sent to me to heart..#ok bye bye i TRULY must get moving along (╯▽╰ ;;)
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i think she would kill her brother in any universe (said in a very sad voice)
#sry saw them on steam now im thinking abt it again i feel sick. literally nauseous thinking abt it#SHE HAD TO KILL HIM YKKKK. IT HAD TO HAPPEN HE HAD TO DIE AND IT MAKES SENSE BUT IM GONNA THROW UP ABT IT!!#also ik this isnt true bc theres literally an ending where lucas does it instead but Well i dont like that one#not that i like the one where she has to do it bc it makes me oh so sad but it does fit better i think#since the entire game is hugo desperately saying youve gotta let me go and her being like no i dont#i think its way better if she does it. but also i get why she wouldnt obviously#me when my 8 year old brother starts the apocalypse bc he thought i died and the only way to stop it is to kill him and he asks me to do it#like. totaly understand why she wouldnt be able to but also i think she SHOULD its what he wanted and its best for her arc but whatever#and also i acknowledge that they were so close to not having to do itso this post is double not true#bc thats th real tragedy is that it didnt have to happen it was literally bc she was too stubborn yk. i get that#but narratively#im saying it wouldnt have made sense narratively for it to end any other way it just wouldnt have made sense#for the entire game to be Amicia cant let him go and is too stubborn to see that doing that is the only thing that will#save him. but its ok it works out anyway#that just wouldnt make sense. ok. whayever
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Time Traveller AU part 7
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
Part 8 is here!
"Gather the troops and have them warn the public. All the infantries will be stationed here and here. The archers and cavalary-" Salauddin was sending orders to his generals. As soon as he was informed of Baldwin coming, you knew he had only limited time to make a game plan.
You didnt understand why Baldwin would come all the way here for a war. He wouldnt leave Jerusalem unarmed this way, so either he's bring half of his army while the other half protects his kingdom from invaders- which would put him at a great disadvantage against Salauddin. Or he's bringing all of his men and that means Jerusalem is practically up for grabs.
No. He wouldnt leave Jerusalem unarmed like that, so that means he's inadequately prepared for the war?
No. Baldwin's too smart. If he won against Salauddin at just 16 years, then he's definitely coming up with a plan. And it scares you to not know what he has in mind.
You looked at Salauddin who had just finished instructing his generals, as they left. He was stressed, you could see that. War. Its not a small thing. There are no true winners when there's blood shed on either side. While Salauddin does have the advantage of fighting in his home ground, that is also his disadvantage. At the end of it, his people- his Egypt will suffer.
"Y/n." Your eyes meet. "I need you to stay inside the palace. I will have guards assigned to you. If they tell you to go somewhere, follow them."
"What? No. I'm coming with."
"Have you lost your mind?"
You ignored his insult. "If Baldwin is coming for a war-" "You're gonna talk him out of it?" "I mean, its not a bad plan but I was gonna offer you to use me as a bargaining chip? That way you could avoid blood shed." You wouldn't offer to put your life in danger but since your time machine is still not ready, you need to avoid a war.
"No." He gave you a stern look. "I dont want you anywhere near him or his men. You will stay here. Listen to me for once."
"But I-"
"Y/n." He warned. You sighed before nodding. Well I could always just go out when he leaves, just like last time.
Almost as if he had read your mind, he made you follow him to a room that had no windows or any other exits besides the one door that was made of solid wood and had guards stationed outside.
"This is the safest room, Y/n. It is impenetrable." Oh no, you cant stay here.
"I think you're overreacting a bit-"
"Overreacting? Your fiance is coming over to start a war because of your crazy brother-in-law who you underestimated because you said that he's just a tool. I think I'm reacting very appropriately." He shut you up.
"I want Isabella."
"No."
"Please Salauddin, I need to keep her safe too-"
"No."
"This may be the last wish you ever grant me, so can you just agree-"
"You think I'm going to die?!" Salauddin stared at you in disbelief.
"I... I didnt say that." You tried to think of a lie. "I mean, maybe this might be the last time you see me... alive? Who knows when the angel of death pays you a visit? If we look at the statistics, between you, me and Baldwin, at least one of us going to die-"
"Stop talking." He gritted out, "Fine."
-
"Princess." Isabella wailed as soon as she entered. You let her hug you. "I missed you too, Isabella." You smiled wiping away her tears.
"I- I heard rumors of a war! Is it- his majesty coming?" The girl sniffled. You nodded.
"Its true. A war is going to happen... unless I do something about it." She blinked in confusion. "Huh?"
You held her hands and gave her your most pleading eyes. Its time for manipulation.
"I need you to get me out of here." "Why?" "Because I need to talk to my future husband out of war."
Her eyes widened. "B-but its too dangerous for you to go outside, princess!"
You sighed. "If I cant even protect people from unnecessary pain and bloodshed, then what good am I as a queen?" Yes, time for some heart breaking lines about self sacrifice. "I would rather risk my life than the lives of those who have their families waiting for them at home. I would happily fall on my own sword if it means my subjects wont have to. If I cant prevent suffering of the very people who would bleed for me, then I have no right to be the queen of Jerusalem."
-
Half an hour later, Isabella had knocked on the door for the guards to let her out.
"Sultan Salauddin has forbidden-"
"Princess Y/n from leaving. Not me. I'm her lady in waiting and the princess needs me to get her belongings so that she can write her will."
"We can have it fetched-"
"You? A common man she has no relations with- wants to touch her stuff? I dont think so." Isabelle glared at them through her niqaab (all of your maids had followed your dress code in Egypt). She didnt wait for an answer as she began walking away before a man appeared by her side. It was one of Salauddin's guards.
"What?" She snapped at him, continuing to walk.
"They sent me to walk with you and bring you back safely." He said before grinning at her. "I thought you'd be happy to see your habeebo."
"Habeebo?" She asked, reaching your room.
He caught her wrist and turned her around, gazing at her veiled face with affection. "You cant still be mad at me for leaving the other night- I had duties."
"What right do I have to be mad at you?" Isabella kept her face down, conveying she was still very much mad.
"Habeebo's habibti- you have all rights over me. You're the only woman for me." Habeebo said as he placed a hand over his heart.
Isabelle finally giggled, freeing her wrist from his grasps. "Stop... someone could walk in on us." She warned.
"So? I'm not afraid. I can do anything for love!"
"Anything?"
"Anything." He assured her.
"Then go fetch me some cold water while I pack the princesse's belongings. Hurry now, I'll be waiting for you here." Habeebo all but smiled before walking towards the kitchen, leaving Isabella alone in your room.
As soon as she was sure he was gone, she removed her veil and quickly changed her chaddar with yours.
"Thanks Isabella." You muttered as you slipped on your chaddar. Yes, you had left Isabella in the room upstairs and pretended to be her to slip out of there. She had told you about her crush Habeebo who you had also fooled into leaving you here, and youre sure that if he were to go back upstairs and find Isabella instead of you, he'd protect her. Surely.
Sneaking out of the palace wasnt a hard feat by now. What was hard was trying to figure out what way to go to find Baldwin or Salauddin, with all the people panicking as they were being constantly warned by guards about Baldwin's arrival.
You decided to go through the market and head towards the madarrasa, though you doubt Abbas is anywhere done with the parts you gave him to make. You had given a week's deadline but only because you needed him to hurry up, not because he could actually make them in such little time.
The streets were packed, shops were getting closed and people were trying to rush home to safety. You were nearing the madarrasa when you were pulled to the side in an alley.
"Y/n!" Abbas exclaimed. "Finally, I found you." You raised a brow and he grinned. "Your things are ready."
"Already?" You were in disbelief. How did he-
He puffed his chest. "Of course. I had a deadline and with the war being announced, I'm glad I made haste!" You felt hope again. If the parts are ready, all you need to do is assemble them and you can leave this timeline for once and for all, and if Baldwin and Salauddin do end up fighting each other, everything works out! You're sure that Salauddin would win by playing to his strengths, and because eventually Guy will fuck up and betray Baldwin and cause him to die. Then another crusade will happen and Salauddin will take over Jerusalem! Everyone wins.
"Well? Hand it over."
"I dont have it with me right now! I took the parts home to work on them. Lets go." You trailed behind him, the market still bustling as the air became more tensed. They're kingdom is about to be attacked and they have little to no time to prepare for it.
Soon, you reached his home. It was a cozy place, made of mud. The beige walls added onto the coolness. He lead you inside, crossing the patio. Abbas told you to wait there while he went inside a room to get your parts. While waiting, your eyes landed on a cage in the corner that had 5 doves.
"Here it is." Abbas returned with a wooden box and gave it to you.
Opening it, you saw the designs you had given him. You took the parts out and examined them. They weren't top notch, but they'll make do.
"Thank you." You handed him a pouch of gold coins. He pocketed it before raising his brows at you. "So... will you finally tell me what this is for?"
You looked up at him before taking out your time machine. Might as well assemble it here and leave as soon as possible. "I would but I'm afraid it'll go over your head." He frowned at your words before grumbling angrily under his breath before going to the doves to give them seed. Good, he should be distracted while you put these parts in.
It didnt take more than a few minutes for you to place them in. All you had to do was to put in the last key, turn it on and set the date-
"Y/n." You looked up at Abbas, not understanding his horrified expression. What's wrong? You followed his gaze and looked behind you, and there it was-
A shadow standing at the doorway of the patio.
You squinted your eyes before your heart dropped at the realisation.
Black robes, hood over the head, geared up.
Assassin.
"This is the wrong house." Abbas said with a trembling voice.
The assassin stepped forward into the light, while you and Abbas took a few steps back.
"What- what do you want?" The assassin didnt answer him, his eyes fixed on you. This is- this is not an Ismaili. They wouldnt attack alone, and especially not so soon, and not when a war hangs over their head.
The assassin took another step forward, this time you grabbed the time machine and held it closely. This made the dark figure tilt his head at you.
"Get behind me." You moved behind Abbas. "Get out of my house- this is not the time. Evacuate!" Abbas warned the guy but he didnt stop staring at you.
As soon as he took another step, Abbas grabbed a wooden stick from the side and ran towards him, only for him to be flipped over his shoulder and slammed to the ground. You took this as a sign to run but the assassin was faster, grabbing you by the chaddar as it ripped off you. Your eyes widened as he grabbed you by the shoulder and yanked you back and your immediate reaction was to slap him, but he caught your wrist and pushed you back inside the patio. Abbas got up and tried to punch him, but he was knocked down back on his back in a second.
You ran, but didnt make it more than a few steps before you got tackled to the ground. You struggled to break free but the assassin had his arms wrapped around your neck, putting you in a chokehold.
Knowing Abbas couldnt come to your rescue, you clawed at the assassins hands, flailed about trying to break free from under him. But he had overpowered you, putting immense pressure until you started seeing black dots.
Just at the last moment, your eyes caught the sight of the dove cage and instinctively, you yanked the cage, hoping to hit the assassin in the head with it, but all you managed was to tip it over, the latch holding it close dropped.
And in the next moment, the doves flew out and went straight for the assassin. You wouldnt say they were attacking him, but the moment he saw them flying in his direction, he raised his hands to bat them away, which only caused him to get scratched-
You didnt stick around to find out if they clawed his face off, springing to your feet as you ran inside a room, hoping to find a window to escape.
You spot the window, quickly opening the wooden frame to leap out. Only the moment you have one foot out, you're pulled back inside and thrown against the wall.
The assassin is back, his body language conveying he's more pissed now than before.
You cant outrun him. You take a fighting stance. You know very well that you cant beat him either, but it works well to at least make him doubt that.
Maybe you could bribe him?
"What do you want?" You ask him, your fists raised. He tilted his head at your attempt to look ominous.
You glared at him. "You let me and my friend go, and I can assure you I can give you enough gold to keep you out of work forever. I am..." you pause before using your last card. "I am King Baldwin's fiance, future queen of Jerusalem. Let me go, and I'll give you anything you want."
He took another step forward and you knew you were backed into a corner so you punched him, only he caught your fist before it was anywhere near his face.
He stared at you, tightening his hold on your wrist.
"Please dont hurt me." You gulped before raising your other hand to punch him, but he caught it too. Now both of your hands were in one of his while he used the other to grab your throat and push you against the wall.
"Oh fuc-" He squeezed a pressure point on your neck until you passed out.
-
Salauddin was on his horse at the front of his army, waiting at the gates of his kingdom for Baldwin. His generals had informed him that they had placed the respective troops posted according to his plan. Everyone waited with baited breath for his command. They're ready to protect their sultan, ready to sacrifice their lives to protect their kingdom.
Salauddin heard them before he saw them.
The heavy jingle of metal armour, the marching of the horses and then he saw their cross flags. He gave a nod to his men, signalling to be prepared.
They're coming.
In all honesty, Salauddin was expecting Baldwin's army to not make it through the hot desert, since they rarely ever leave Jerusalem.
But it was still a surprise when he saw the actual size of his army.
It wasnt that much. Thought he anticipated it, after all Baldwin wouldnt have left his kingdom without some men, but now this means that Baldwin is not relying on numbers.
He's relying on strategy. And its hard to predict Baldwin's moves.
Salauddin's mouth turned into a grim line. What was he planning?
The templars lead the army to the gates of Egypt. The Muslims had their weapons ready to be drawn. Salauddin watched the Christians Knights halt.
Do they attack now?
Baldwin emerged from the masses on his horse, sporting his iron mask despite not needing it anymore. Salauddin also rode his horse to meet him halfway, knowing his generals dont appreciate him leaving.
Their horses stopped a few feet apart from each other. Everything was silent apart from the sound of warm air whooshing through the desert.
Baldwin raised his hand. Salauddin heart skipped a beat. He's going to signal them to attack-
"Salam alaikum!" Baldwin greeted with a wave.
Salauddin gave a nod. "Walaikum asalam."
Baldwin tilted his head. "Why so tense, Sal? Not happy to see me?"
"I dont like uninvited guests." He replied. Baldwin chuckled. "Of course. But we're friends-"
"Why are you here, Baldwin?"
Baldwin stared at him. No king appreciates being interrupted.
"I'm here to meet my fiancee."
Salauddin stared at him unamused. "You left the Holy Land to meet your fiancee who was going to return home soon anyways?"
Baldwin shrugged. "I missed her."
"Baldwin."
The young king sighed. "I know I should've informed you before coming but I really do want to see Y/n. I mean no harm, Salauddin." He raised his hands in surrender. "I just thought it would be a nice surprise for her. Ever since she cured me, I realised I hadnt seen the world that much, so what better location than Egypt?"
Salauddin stared at him, before his gaze fell on his army.
"Come on, Salauddin. Where's Y/n?" Baldwin asked with a goofy smile.
Salauddin's brows furrowed before he sighed. "In my palace." He nodded at his men to open the gates as he lead Baldwin in. But not before whispering to his second in command to surround the kingdom from all perimeters and be on high alert. Things can always go south.
Baldwin smirked looking at the size of Salauddin's army. "Aww, you didnt have to bring them for my warm welcome." Salauddin ignored him, knowing very well that Baldwin knew how it looked when a king comes unannounced at another king's door.
-
They soon arrived at the palace, welcomed by servants and maids who were looking at Baldwin in awe. They had heard rumors of his beauty, and when he removed his mask, they realised how huge of an understatement it was. And the fact that this young king was the one to defeat their sultan at just 16 years age, it definitely added to the charm.
But Baldwin wasnt blind to the furious gazes of his soldiers either. He just ignored them, which was easy since his mind was occupied by thoughts of you. Y/n. My princess. My angel.
What surprised Salauddin was that Baldwin hadnt come alone. No, Guy was here too which only confused him more. If Baldwin brought Guy along, then who did he leave to take care of Jerusalem? Sibylla and Guy's son was still too young to be a heir.
He did remember your theory about Guy being the one to hire the assassins to ambush you in the desert. If Guy came here despite his failed attempts to get rid of his enemies, then he's either incredibly stupid or he's well assured that he'll get away with everything.
Salauddin wont let him. He'll make Guy pay.
"I hate to rush you Salauddin, I know Muslims are knows for their hospitality but can you just lead me to Y/n's room? She is a sight for sore eyes." Baldwin requested sweetly, making Salauddin roll his eyes. He signalled a servant to bring you down.
Guy looked disgusted to be in the presence of so many Muslims, but the moment he caught sight of any maids passing by, he would be eyeing them like a piece of meat. A maid came by holding drinks in a tray. When she offered it to Baldwin and then Guy, the latter startled the poor girl by purposely touching her wrist with his grubby paws.
Salauddin gripped the armrest tightly. If he wasnt Baldwin's brother-in-law, Salauddin would've plucked his eyes out and had him whipped in public to make an example out of scum like him.
"So, when did you leave your camp outside Jerusalem? I was expecting to see you there on my way here, but there were new troops of yours instead." Baldwin asked, sipping the cool drink.
"I came here with Y/n. I had some errands that required my attention." Salauddin didnt bring up the ambush, watching both him and Guy to gauge their reactions. Did they know?
"Went on any new conquests recently?" Salauddin decided to make small talk as they waited for you. He hopes you're not taking time to get ready to meet Baldwin. He'd rather you come up covered in a chaddar when Guy is here.
Instead of allowing Baldwin to answer, Guy cut him off. "Of course! We are the noble warriors, the Chosen Ones! God wants us to conquer as much as possible, for the sake of his-"
"How dare you talk to me?" Salauddin silenced him. "I'm talking to your king. He may allow it but you're in my kingdom now. You will abide by the rules or so help me, your head will be on a spike for the crows to shit on." Guy's eyes widened and his jaw fell open. No one had threatened him like that, at least not since he married Sibylla.
Baldwin barely suppressed a smile and when Guy looked at him for help, he only shrugged. "You should listen to him. We are his guests, after all."
The servant returned with the special guards he had assigned to protect you, all looking scared.
"S-sultan... the princess-" Baldwin and Salauddin's gaze sharpened at your mention. The poor servant gulped.
"The princess is gone."
There was deafening silence. The servant had his head bowed, along with the guards, all too afraid of the wrath they're going to face.
"Gone? Gone where?" Salauddin spat as he walked upto them.
"I- I dont know-" Salauddin grabbed the guard by the collar and shook him. "I left her in a room with no windows, a room guarded by the 6 of the most skilled men. Where did she go?!"
The guard's head only lowered further. "Sultan, we only opened the door to let princess Y/n's maid in and out. B-but- but when we opened the door, the maid was waiting there instead of the princess!"
"Which maid? Where is she?!" Salauddin roared.
The guard nodded at his men who pushed a young girl forward roughly. She fell on her knees, crying pitifully. He immediately recognised her.
Isabella.
"Where's the princess?" Salauddin questioned her, only to be answered in hiccups and tears. A vein on his forehead popped. He doesnt have time for this. Who knows where you are? If you're safe-
"Isabella." Baldwin called out gently, kneeling in front of her. She sniffled and bowed her head. "Isabella, look at me." She took panicked breaths before lifting her eyes to meet his kind ones, not a a grain of anger in them.
"You know where princess Y/n is?" He asked, pushing her hair back over her ear. She shook her head, hiccuping though she wasnt bawling her heart now.
"Use your words, Isabella. Tell me what happened." Enchanted by his gentleness, she spilled, told him all about how you made her take your place so that you could go and stop you from starting a war with the sultan.
Salauddin watched the interaction closely, trying to figure out if Isabella was lying. He did note Baldwin's behabiour throughout this entire interrogation as well. For someone whose future wife is missing, Baldwin is surprisingly calm. Then again, he's rarely ever seen Baldwin lose his temper.
"Where did she go?" Baldwin questioned her once again.
"I- I dont know, your majesty. She never told me!" Isabella cried out.
Baldwin nodded before standing up, his brows furrowed as rubbed his chin with his thumb and index finger.
"If Y/n was going out to stop me and she never reached the gates, then it means... she's still here." Baldwin said after some deep thought. He looked at Salauddin. "Your men have surrounded the kingdoms, havent they?"
Salauddin nodded before ordering his men to find you.
"Search every house, every place. No one gets in or out of the kingdom!" He yelled at them, watching them leave. He felt Baldwin stand beside him and out of the corner of his eye, he saw his face wasn't... too concerned.
"You know, for someone whose fiancee is missing, you're surprisingly calm." Salauddin was both stating his observation, and accusing him too. Did Baldwin know where you were?
Baldwin simply smiled, his dimples showing. "I know you will find her."
"And why is that?"
"Because if I dont have Y/n in my arms by today, then I will burn your Egypt to the ground."
-
The Templar Knights kicked down doors, rattled the poor citizens and took great glee in destroying their belongings, using you as an excuse to "search thoroughly". Salauddin's army was also rigorously working to find you, interrogating everyone for any clues on you. Then again, no one had really seen how you looked like. You were just another woman covered in a chaddar and niqaabi among a whole city of them. It would be like finding needle in a hay stack and Salauddin wasnt about to allow anyone to rip off the niqaabs off his Muslim women. He wont allow such a transgression.
Fortunately, Baldwin agreed. After all, why would you be hiding from him? You dont have a reason to, right? But still, he had to find you. So he was walking through the streets of Egypt himself to look for you.
Salauddin had joined him, and not just because he wanted to ensure the safety of his folks but also to stop Guy from provoking Baldwin by feeding him any lies.
That cretin was getting on his last nerves.
Salauddin pretended to be deaf as Guy harshly whispered to Baldwin that "How can a princess just vanish? Clearly, there's someone plotting. These Arabs must've sold her off! They dont respect women like we do-" only to be pushed away by Baldwin who told him to focus his energy on finding you.
Its been 3 hours since Baldwin's arrival and still no sign of you. Despite his best attempts, Salauddin could see Baldwin's calm demeanour chipping away. He was running out of patience.
They were now standing outside the madarrassa where all the scholars, students and staff were rounded up. Salauddin was the only one who knew about Abbas, but now that he looked at each face, he realised he was the only one missing.
Immeadiately, he sent the guards to find him. Salauddin was sure that he knew about your whereabouts, He had to.
"Who is Abbas?" Baldwin asked as they both followed the guards that had found out his residence.
Salauddin didnt miss the suspicion in his tone. As much as he wanted to toy with Baldwin, now is not the time.
"He is a craftsman. Y/n had hired him to make something for her. Maybe she went there to collect it." He purposely avoided telling him about the unique chessboard you had gifted him.
After half an hour, they had reached Abbas's residence. It wasnt all that odd to find the front door open, and truth be told, no one was expecting anyone to be home.
It was concerning to find the disasterous state of the house as they entered. Clay pots were smashed to the ground, a cage lying empty in one corner. Clearly, something had happened here.
However, something caught Salauddin's eye that made his heart sink.
Your chaddar, lying on the ground.
-
You woke up with a pounding headache. When your lids fluttered open, they first spotted the single candle in the corner of the dimly lit room. Memories of the previous events flashed through your mind and you fitted the pieces like a jigsaw puzzle.
When your eyes finally adjusted to the dimly lit room, you realised you were still in the same room the assassin had knocked you out. Not only that, but Abbas was also lying beside you, though he hadnt regained conciousness yet.
"Abbas- Abbas, wake up." You raised your hand to shake him, but your eyes caught the sight of your ripped sleeve. When- when did this-
You looked down at your clothes and realised they were all tattered too. Your niqaab was gone, you recalled the assassin had pulled off your chaddar during your escape attempt, and now that you looked at Abbas, he was in a similar state too. His clothes were torn and ripped too. But why? The assassin had already knocked you two out, he didnt need to-
You gasped, patting yourself to find your lack of belongings. Your time machine was gone, as was your jewellery an coins. You'd been robbed!
Panic surged into your veins as you violently shook Abbas, your machine was gone- your only way out of this era was gone!
"Abbas! Wake up!" But he only groaned in response. What was wrong with him?
You dont have time to wonder as you rushed to open the door. You need to catch that thief, assassin- whatever he was, before he got too far and you lost your time machine forever. Grabbing the handles, you tried to yank the door open, but it didnt even budge. Its... locked.
You whipped your head around, remembering the window you were trying to get out of earlier. Running up to it, you tried to open the wooden shutters, but they didnt move an inch. No. No. This is- this is not happening. You ran back towards the door. You felt your throat close up as you pulled the door with all your might before banging your fists against them in frustration.
You were locked in.
The thief has your time machine. He's probably gone far away with it. By the time anyone comes to your aid, he'd have fled the city. He'd be gone as Baldwin and Salauddin fight and burn Egypt to the ground. I'll be trapped here, probably die under the rubble with Abbas-
Abbas.
You look back at him, still unconscious. How hard was his head hit?
You fall back on your knees besides him, trying to wake him up. He'd know- Abbas would know how to get out of this room. He's smart, and he knows his house, probably built it himself- he'd know a way out.
"Abbas! ABBAS! Wake up! Wake up-!" You grabbed his head and laid it in your lap, turning it side-to-side to see if he was bleeding. You started to massage his temples, hoping the circulation will wake him up.
Wait. Circulation.
You recalled what they taught you in first aid class- what to do when someone faints? Raise their legs above heart level. You quickly moved and pulled his knees up until they were able to stay bent on their own, before cradling his head in your lap again, tapping his cheeks.
"Abbas- Abbas, wake up please. Abbas-! I swear if you dont wake up, I will give you a tight slap-"
You were cut off by the sound of the door being banged.
What in the-
The door shook as something hard banged against it. You jumped at the force. Did the war start already? Are they using cannonballs?
No. While cannonballs were used as heavy artillery in medieval Europe, it was more popularly used in the 1700s, but I'm still in the 1100s-
NOT THE TIME TO GEEK OUT! I'M ABOUT TO DIE-
The door burst open and light flooded into the room, blinding you for a moment. You raised your hand to shield yourself from the light before slowly bringing your hand down as you saw figures entering into the room.
Once your eyes finally adjusted, you recognised the figures in front of you.
Salauddin. Baldwin. Guy-
Guy?
All three of them stared at you, though your eyes remained focused on Baldwin, who looked at you, then at your clothes, and then... at Abbas.
The look of relief turned into confusion. What? Whats wrong?
You heard Salauddin yell something in Arabic at his soldiers, which made them instantly look away and leave the room. Baldwin kept looking at you in barely suppressed shock.
"Baldwin?" You whispered, though it was Salauddin who moved first, removing his chaddar and bending down to cover you with it, but your eyes were fixated on Baldwin's face. Why is he... looking at you like that?
Wait. If Baldwin and Salauddin are here together, then it means there's no war. Which means-
"Are you okay? What happened?" Salauddin asked you, though before you could answer him, Guy began laughing.
"Okay? She's more than okay!" He smirked. "After all, she was spending some time with her secret lover!"
Both your and Salauddin's eyes went wide. It finally clicked why Baldwin was looking at you like that.
He thinks you and Abbas-
"No. That's not true-" You tried to speak but Guy cut you off.
"Of course it is! Look at you, holding his head in your lap so sweetly!" He accused before snarling at you. "And you chose a dirty Muslim to cheat on our King? The audacity! And the lack of taste."
You shook your head. "Thats not true. This is Abbas. He's a- a craftsman-" "Oh, I'm sure you were pretty crafty with him too." Guy cut you off.
"Shut up, Guy!" You snapped. "I came to get my valuables from him. It was a gift! I had them commissioned for- for you Baldwin!" You half lied.
"And where is that gift?" Guy interrogated.
"I was robbed. We both were-" "Oh how convenient!" You glared at him. He was framing you. You pointed at your clothes. "How else do you explain the torn clothes?!"
Guy hummed and you knew you were going to regret as soon as a disgusting smile crept on his face.
"Well, animals fuck with wild passion-"
"I WAS ROBBED!" You yelled. "Look, the thief even knocked out Abbas!"
"I dont see a head injury." Guy shrugged. "I just think he's passed out from drinking. Or maybe his stamina wore out-"
"Shut up! Just shut up!" Your face was red with rage, though to anyone else it may have looked like you were caught red handed in a lie. You calmed yourself down. You need to explain before things got worse.
"Baldwin, I'm not having an affair with Abbas. He's married-" Once again, Guy cut you off, this time waving his hands. "My king, it doesnt matter to these Muslims. They're into polygamy. Whats one wife, when you can have four?"
Of all the things, this is the one thing he knows about Islam?
You didnt detect one, not a single emotion of trust or love from Baldwin's stoic face. Is he- is he actually believing this bull?
Why wouldnt he? He's a man after all. And who knows what other lies Guy has been filling his head with to make him doubt your loyalty?
Enough is enough. You need to come clean.
"You know what Guy? I was going to keep this a secret to let you beg for forgiveness, but I think its time for the truth, hm?" You watched Guy's smirk falter. Enough games. You stared at Baldwin with determination. "Here's what has happened Baldwin: Charlotte didnt just happen to drop by Jerusalem. No, Guy summoned her by pretending to be you. Oh and I have that exact letter where Guy used your respectful name as proof. Guy exploited Charlotte and his plan was to use her and her son's illness to infect you so that you could die and he could get your throne."
Guy's face paled. But you didnt stop there.
"Of course, when that didnt work because you and I have an unbreakable bond, Guy decided to get rid of me." You looked at Salauddin. "When I left for Egypt and I was at Salauddin's camp, he had hired assassins to ambush us in the dead of the night and kill me or Salauddin, or both! If I were to die while I was with Salauddin, he would've convinced you that Salauddin was the one who killed me. And if Salauddin was dead, then it meant good news for Guy because he would have to deal with one less enemy after he took your throne."
"Lies! There's no proof-"
"No proof? Baldwin, did you realise that more than half of my entourage was missing? Its because they're dead. And if that isnt enough proof, then this might help-" You pulled up your sleeves to show your fading burn marks. "My back is full of these marks because the assassins left me to die in a burning tent. It was Salauddin who saved me!"
"And today? When we heard you were coming, everyone thought that there will be a war. I left the palace on my own, to find you Baldwin. I wanted to stop you from committing unnecessary bloodshed! I came to Abbas's house to get my gift for you, but Guy sent a thief after us! The thief knocked us out and he robbed us both!" You explained. "Didn't you ever wonder Baldwin- why Guy decided to accompany you today? Guy has never left Jerusalem, not even for a war, not to defend his people. He wouldnt leave the throne empty! He hopes, he prays and he plots for you to die everytime you leave Jerusalem so that he can finally be king!"
"BLASPHEMOUS!" Guy screamed, red in the face. "You wench-!"
"With all due respect Guy, which is NONE! I didnt think you would be smart enough to come up with such schemes. I underestimated you, which turned out to be mistake because you made Baldwin doubt me!"
Guy shook his head and stood in between you and Baldwin, acknowledging the stoic faced king first. "This is slander! All lies, Baldwin! I'm your brother-in-law! I would never betray you!"
"Never betray Baldwin? You aren't even loyal to Sibylla! I could have more than half of Jerusalem attest to that you've tried sleeping with other women! Adulterer!" Guy's eyes practically popped out of his socket and he screeched.
"You dare accuse me of cheating?! YOU?! You're the one who is locked in a dark room with a strange man in your lap like a fucking whore!" Not risking Baldwin's suspicion, Guy stormed towards you with his hand raised to strike you.
"You unfaithful, lying bitch-!" You heard the air being sliced and you flinched as you felt something splatter across your cheek.
Thud.
You looked down to where the sound came from.
Guy's head dropped in front of you.
Your ears began ringing. Slowly, your eyes trailed back up to where his body remained.
Headless body. That fell to its knees before dropping to the side.
You could hear the ringing get louder.
Baldwin stood there, his eyes full of rage, his hand holding his sword that had just cut off Guy's head.
He was breathing heavily, nostrils flared and a vein popped in his temple. Your heart dropped as his eyes landed on you and he moved towards you.
Your consciousness finally gave out.
Salauddin caught you but not for long as Baldwin made his way to you. Fearing for you, Salauddin tried to bargain for your life.
"Baldwin, she didnt-"
"Let her go. Now." Baldwin commanded, throwing Abbas's head off your lap. He didnt wait for Salauddin to move, simply taking you from his arms, ripping off the chaddar and replacing it with his cloak instead, before picking you up.
"Lets go home." He whispered in your ear before kissing your temple, pulling you snug against him as he walked out of the room.
-
You wake up to the feeling something wet on your legs. You jolt, eyes snapping open as you look for your potential assaulter-
"Isabella?" You croaked as you saw the young girl at the foot of the bed, her face red and eyes swollen from all the crying.
"P-princess." She greeted tearfully, holding a wet towel in her hand. Her lips wobbled as she spoke, nose bright red, sniffling as she stared at you with those big sad eyes.
"What's wrong?" You couldnt help but be soft with her. She just- she looked so pitiful.
She looked down, her hands clutching the towel tightly. "You- you were- you were gone for so many hours. I- I didnt know where you were- his majesty and the sultan- they were so mad- they were so concerned- i- i didnt think they believed me when I said I didnt know- where- where you were- i thou-thought you were-" Her tears cut off her hiccuping explanation. You didnt think she would be this distraught over you.
"Its... its okay, Isabella. You didnt do anything wrong. I'm... fine." You tried to calm her down, beckoning her forward. You sat up on the bed, taking the rag from her hands before holding her hands in yours. Giving them a gentle squeeze, you assured her. "I'm fine, Isabella. In fact, I should apologise for causing you all the trouble-" She shook her head. "No- princess- its my duty to serve-" You gave her hands another squeeze, calming her down.
"Thank you- oh. Isabella-" You looked at her hands, noticing something red peeking from her wrist. You pulled her sleeve up, realising that the redness was from the welts on her arms. "What happened?" You asked, turning her wrist around, noticing a small scratch.
She pulled her hands away, pulling down her sleeves as she sniffled. "N-nothing to worry about, princess-"
"Did you get injured? Are you okay?" She nodded. "I just- when I heard you were missing, it made me worry too much and I- I tend to scratch my arms when I'm stressed!"
You gave her sympathetic look, grabbing the cool towel from earlier and handing it to her. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Isabella. Here- take this. It'll help your skin, hm?"
"But the king asked me to wipe your sweat with this-"
"Its fine- wait? What sweat?"
She nodded. "We've been travelling through the desert for some days. His Majesty suggested I be the one to wipe you clean while you were unconscious." Now that you looked around, you realised you were in a tent, much different in design to Salauddin's.
Wait, desert?
"We've left Egypt?"
"Yes-"
She stopped speaking as soon as the sound of footsteps filled the room.
You stiffened at the sight of Baldwin.
Isabella had to only take one look at his face before taking her leave. Events of the last time you had seen him flashed through your mind, and you couldnt help but be scared of him when you remembered the murderous look on his face as he killed Guy. It is one thing to know that a king has killed people, perhaps even more brutally than this but after spending so many months with Baldwin, you had become accustomed to his soft nature. Never in your worst nightmares could you have ever imagined such a barbaric actions from him, and to his own brother-in-law.
It made you question everything, your own mortality- your own safety with him.
"How are you feeling?" He had his arms crossed behind his back as he made his way towards you. It took everything for you to not flinch back and beg for your life. No- no, you need to think smartly. If he wanted to kill you, he wouldve gotten rid of you back there-
Or maybe he has decided to torture you.
"I'm fine." You replied weakly, keeping your eyes on your lap. You dont want to risk pissing him off.
Maybe I should apologise, clear the air before he has any other doubts about me.
"I'm sorry." You said abruptly, finally looking up at him. His stoic expression didnt falter. This is not the Baldwin you knew, no. This was the king you had imagined when you first came here. Stiff and apathetic.
Taking his silence as a sign, you continued. "I'm sorry... for everything. For hiding the truth about Guy, for causing misunderstandings, for making you doubt me-"
"I never doubted you." He cut you off.
Your brows raised in surprise. He sighed sitting down on the bed besides you.
"I never doubted you, Y/n. Not once." He said with conviction."I didnt doubt you when Salauddin said you'd be with Abbas. I didnt doubt you when Guy raised false allegations. I didnt doubt you when I saw you in that dark room alone with that man. You could've been naked in there and I still would not have doubted you."
Your lips parted. What... what was he-
"You trust me? That much?" You couldn't help but whisper.
He smiled sadly. "I do. And more than that, I trust in my love for you." Baldwin looked down at his hands, still smiling gently. "I love you so deeply that I know you would never betray me. I have loved you the way I want someone to love me. My love for you... it is free of impurity, of imperfection. And thats how I know you would never betray me."
You couldnt help the tears that came in your eyes, and you looked down. How could he- how could he-
"If anyone should apologise, it should be me, Y/n." Your head snapped back at him. He was looking at you with genuine guilt. "I may have loved you deeply but I have failed to express it to you. Had I- had I done a better job, had I let you know just how much I feel for you, you wouldn't have hesitated to come to me. You wouldn't have felt the need to hide your traumas, your pain from me. You wouldn't have felt shy to get my help, to tell me your secrets. All of this could've been avoided if I had made you feel secure enough to come to me. I alone am responsible-"
"Baldwin." Your teary voice cut him off. You shake your head, sniffling at him. "This- this isnt your fault- I-"
"You did nothing wrong." He assured you, holding your hand. "Traps were set for you, but it was my job to save you from them. I am your protector, your shield. I owe my life to you. I owe everything to you."
A tear slipped from your eye. "I- I didnt think you'd save me. I thought you didnt trust me- I thought I lost you forever." You dont know why you said that, but they were true.
"I would've found you. I will always find you." Baldwin cupped your cheek, he felt his heart break at your confession.
"If I don't go to you Y/n, then where do I go?" And at that, the dam you'd been holding finally broke.
Baldwin immediately pulled you into his lap, his arms wrapping around you as you buried your head into his shoulder, sobs wracking your entire being. You dont know why you're crying, whether its because of Baldwin's pure love for you, or that Guy is dead because of you and you've ruined the timeline, or because you're mourning the loss of your time machine and its just dawning on you that you're stuck here forever.
He patted your back, rocking you gently like a child. "All my paths lead to you, Y/n. All my conquests bring me to you. Everything leads to you." He kissed your cheek, his hand petting your hair smoothly as you broke down in his arms. "You... you are the beginning and end of my everything."
Baldwin pulled you away and wiped your tears away with his thumbs. "I love you, Y/n. And I know you love me too. You may not say it, but I know deep down in your heart, you love me. I know you do-"
"I love you, Baldwin." You said.
His eyes went wide. "You don't have to say it-"
"I love you, Baldwin. I really do." You admitted.
Baldwin's shock was replaced with joy, a grin gracing his face as he cupped your face and kissed your forehead deeply.
"You have no idea how happy you've made me." He whispered before pulling you into his embrace.
-
Following this, you both began your journey back to Jerusalem. Every now and then, you'd start crying again because you'd realised just how much you were loved by Baldwin. You remembered the time when you saw him with Charlotte and you didn't give him a chance to explain. You had already decided that he was a cheater, he was disloyal. Yet when the tables were turned, when everything pointed against you and Baldwin had every right to find you disloyal, have you punished for even being in a locked room with another man, he trusted you. He didn't question your love for him. And even if you didn't love him back then, you respected him enough, both as a king and as a man and he still didn't ask for an explanation, let alone accuse you of adultery.
The rest of the trip home was spent with you crying and Baldwin consoling you like a toddler. No matter how many times your tears fell, he was right there to wipe them away and assure you that you did nothing wrong.
Did you love Baldwin? Maybe not back then, but you do now. Perhaps he was right. Maybe you did love Baldwin deep down, you just didn't know it.
And it's not like you don't have a choice either way. With your time machine lost, you can't leave this place. So, you've accepted your fate and agreed to marry him. Baldwin says the wedding preparations are mostly complete and the wedding day is on Sunday.
Today is Friday, when you both finally reach Jerusalem. It didn't dawn on you until now just how you were going to face Sibylla, the woman whose husband was killed because of you.
But Baldwin already had a plan. "Guy was buried in an unmarked grave outside of Egypt. I have instructed my knights to inform everyone that Guy had died a dishonourable death because he was a traitor to the crown."
"Traitor to the crown?"
He nodded. "I'll tell Sibylla I caught him cheating on her and plotting against me." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Its believable. She'll be upset, but she'll get over it. Besides, she deserves better than him. I have already found a list of suitors for her."
He truly has thought of everything.
-
Sibylla as expected was the grieving widow and after she welcomed you and Baldwin, she excused herself and left. You pitied her, she really did love Guy despite all his shortcomings. But she also respected her brother.
After a quiet dinner, you had returned to your room. You sat on your bed as you thought over the events of the past few days. Baldwin had assured you that he doesnt hold any hostility towards Salauddin. In fact, to further put your mind at peace, he told you that he had invited Salauddin to the wedding. As for Abbas, Baldwin said he doesnt know what happened to him but he's sure Salauddin didnt harm the man.
"Did you ever find your family?" Baldwin had asked earlier. You shook your head, telling him that you mistaken someone you thought was family.
"I know you would prefer to have the Nikkah first, before our actual wedding, but I wasnt able to find someone to marry us off in the Islamic way. But then-" He grinned, almost proud of himself. "I decided who better than Salauddin?! Since he'll be arriving on the day of the ceremony, he could walk you down the aisle and then later that day, he could do the Nikkah for us!" You could only smile and agree, what difference does it make what ceremony happens first? You're stuck here either way, and you're gonna be his wife soon.
You sighed and got up to dress into something more comfortable. As you removed your clothes, your hand found something in your underclothes.
The key.
You fiddled with it. Its useless now. The thief probably has broken your machine or sold it and it could be anywhere in the world now, also useless without this key here.
You put it back in your underclothes. Perhaps it'll be of use you can craft your machine again one day.
Lying in your bed, you thought about Guy. You didnt feel guilty, no. He had it coming, and it really was a matter of you versus him at the end. But what bothers you is how much you had underestimated him.
Guy's plan was perfect. There was no chance of escape for you. He had ambushed you and Salauddin, and when you narrowly escaped that attack, he brought Baldwin to Egypt to cause misunderstandings between him and Salauddin. And when they found you with Abbas, all his allegations were perfectly said. You're only here because Baldwin was far too much in love with you. He had no reason to not take Guy's words over yours.
You turned to your side and closed your eyes.
Perhaps God saved me.
-
Today is Saturday and Sibylla had taken you to get your dress fitted.
"Whats that?" You pointed at the huge frame, covered by silk as the servants struggled to hang it on the wall.
"Oh, you're not supposed to see it yet, but Baldwin had commissioned a portait of you. He wants to gift it to you tomorrow, so dont peek. He'd hate to miss your first reaction." She explained.
"You look... absolutely stunning." Sibylla praised as she looked at you in awe. She brought some jewellery to pair with your white gown. A diamond necklace, tear drop earrings, and-
The ring.
"Its the-"
"The exact same ring!" Sibylla finished for you, slipping it on your finger. "After yours was stolen by that thief in Egypt, Baldwin had the same ring made again by the royal jeweller within a day!" Your heart warmed at the gesture. Baldwin must've known you felt guilty over losing his family ring.
"Isabella, will you pass me the veil?" You asked. Isabella brought the soft veil and helped you wear it. As she was adjusting it, your eyes caught sight of her hands again.
"Oh, they didnt heal?" You gently grabbed her hands, taking note of the same red welts on her arms again. She pulled her hands from your grasp away.
"N-no, they healed princess. Its just- its that I'm stressed again! Thats why my skin is itchy and I- scratched them raw."
"Stressed? By what?" You asked.
"Oh- um, the wedding." She muttered. "Its- its not that I'm not excited for it, I am very happy for the union of you and His majesty, but its just we have very little time and there's so much to do-"
You giggled, nodding at her understandingly. "I see. Well, I apologise for causing you to stress. And I hope you know how much I appreciate your efforts."
"Its my honour to serve you, princess." She squeaked.
"Well, do get those checked out soon, Isabella. I dont want you getting sick." Sibylla advised the young girl who bowed her head before taking her leave.
Sometime later, after you had lunch with Baldwin, you decided to go to the gardens and... be by yourself for a while.
Planned or not, I'm getting married tomorrow. This will be my last day as a single woman and I... I should savour every moment left.
You were sitting in a cozy little spot in the royal garden. It was besides the huge bush maze, near the area where your time machine had first gotten burned by the maids accidentally. Speaking of maids, the small entourage had given you space and were standing near the maze, away from your eyes with some knights. They were all eager to please you, the future queen, if only to get a better status by you or Baldwin.
But you had already decided to make Isabella your lady-in-waiting. She deserves it, for everything she's done for you.
You laid down on the soft bed of grass, looking up at the sky as you wondered what will happen tomorrow. Well, nothing about the wedding, Sibylla had made you rehearse several times that you knew exactly how the ceremony will go tomorrow. No, you were curious about... how your wedding will impact the future.
Will you cease to exist? Will the world change because the crusades might not happen since a Christian king married a Muslim commoner? Will there-
Doves flew up in the sky. You smiled, recalling the doves in Abbas's house. You hoped he was alright now. Maybe he could attend the wedding-
Wait.
You sat up with a jolt at the realisation, heart beating fast as you connected the dots.
-
Isabella rushed to the gardens. A servant had told her that you had immediately summoned her. Fearing the worst, she hiked up her gown and ran as fast as she could.
She was out of breath by the time she found you. "You called for me, princess?" She gasped out. You hummed, standing beside a gilded cage of doves.
"Arent they so beautiful?" You asked her, beckoning her to come forward. "They are indeed." She agreed, standing beside you.
"I was thinking of releasing them tomorrow, outside the chapel. All the maids could hold them in their hands and release them as I walk out with the king. What do you think?"
She nodded. "Wonderful idea. I'll go and have it arranged-"
"Hm? Oh, I took care of that. Why dont you open the cage and hold this one for me?" You smiled at her as you made you took a few steps back. "And gloves off, Isabella. I want to see how you will look like tomorrow."
Isabella throat ran dry, She gulped looking at you, then at the cage before back at you.
"I- I cant hold the doves, princess. They'll slip out of my hands-"
"We have plenty here for you to practise. Dont worry. Now make haste." You crossed your arms in front of you and looked at her expectantly.
She parted her lips to say something, but then looked back at the cage. "Whats the matter? Dont know how to hold them?" You sighed before making your way back to the cage. "They're just tiny little birds, gentle ones really. They wont bite you, so I dont know why you fear them. Here, let me show you how to hold one." You opened the cage and carefully held the dove in your hands, petting it softly. "There, there."
You suddenly thrusted the bird in her direction, and Isabella jumped back. "What's the matter? Scared of birds?"
Isabella hesitantly nodded. "Yes, I'm sorry princess- I- I- dont like birds. I'm very much afraid of them." You nodded understandingly, before placing the bird back in the cage. "How very inconsiderate of me. Very well, off you go." Isabella bowed graciously and was about to leave when you suddenly grabbed her arm and rubbed a feather along her exposed arm.
"P-princess-!" She shrieked, trying to yank her arm out of your grasp but your grip didnt relent.
"Would you look at that?" You grinned looking at the area turning bright red. "Are you itchy now? Did I stress you too much?"
Isabella could only look at you in horror as you became angry.
"How stupid do you think I am?" You snarled before throwing her hand down. "That itchy red skin wasnt from stress, it was from birds!" Her eyes widened.
"You had me thinking that your tears, your red skin, your snotty sniffles was because you were soooo concerned for me. But you actually had the rose fever from birds!" You recalled seeing the scratch on her hands the day you had first seen her skin, which wasnt just random skin welts. They were hives, from her allergy to avian protein (or birds, in simple terms).
Isabella could only look at you in silence as you continued. "How long did you think you could keep this charade up? Did you honestly think I wouldnt find out?!" She kept quiet while you continued, which only made you angrier.
"It was you. You were the thief. You- only you knew when I would leave the palace. You followed me! And you stole from me?!" When she didnt speak, your threatened her.
"Say something before I tell the king how you attacked me!"
Isabella looked up, and she smirked.
"You have no proof."
You looked at her in disbelief. Instead of defending herself, denying all the things- she basically admitted to it all.
"Isabella, where are my belongings?" You asked her. "If you return my things, I wont let you stay here, but I will let you leave this castle on your two feet." You didnt bother asking her why she did it, you cant waste any more time. You need to get your time machine back.
She shrugged, playing with her nails. Now that she was caught, she didnt bother putting up her scared, demure little girl image. "It doesnt matter. You will never get it. And you're not getting rid of me either. After all, you have no proof of any of the things you accused me of."
"You think you're going to get away with it?" She hummed. "I already have, princess. Now, I will be returning to my duties to prepare for you wedding tomorrow. And I think we'll do no birds-"
You pulled out a knife, silencing her. She looked at the knife before smiling. "Are you really going to kill me? Did you forget how I overpowered you and Abbas back there?"
"I havent." You bring the knife up to your throat. "But if you dont tell me where my belongings are this instant, I will slit my throat and let you explain to the king how you killed me. Oh and you may think you can just sneak out of here, but remember, there's a whole entourage who saw you come here. They'll tell Baldwin you were the last person to see me, and then no matter where you run, Baldwin will hunt you down. Him and his Templar knights."
Her brows furrowed at your threat. "Princess, I dont-"
"Dont think for a moment I wont do it, Isabella. I'm mental." When she remained quiet, you pressed the blade harder into your neck, just enough for the skin to break and blood to pour, making her eyes wide.
"Okay! Okay- stop! I'll tell you."
-
Isabella lead you to a room inside the castle, hidden away in a corner. You had never been here before, you realised when you stepped inside. She pulled out a drawer from the desk, which had a false floor in it. Lifting the wooden panel, you saw all your belongings, including your time machine.
"Leave." You ordered her. Once you were alone, you pulled out the key from your underclothes and placed it inside. Saying a tiny prayer, you turned on the machine.
It worked. The tiny lights turned on. All you had to do was set the date and-
The machine was snatched from your hands. "Isabella drop-!" Your eyes widened at the sight of Baldwin holding the machine.
"What are you doing?" He asked you, looking at the machine.
"Baldwin, please give it back-"
"This?" He shook the machine in his hands. "Sure, you can have it." He smiled at you before bashing the machine to the ground.
"BALDWIN NO! STOP!" You tried to stop him, but Baldwin pushed you away and kept smashing the machine until its lights went out and they key broke.
"NOOOOO!" You finally snatched it from his hands but it was too late. The screen wouldnt turn on, wouldnt display the date no matter what you did. The key was broken.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" You cried out.
"What is wrong with me? What is wrong with you?!" Baldwin yelled. "What were you going to do with that? Leave me, the love of your life, to go where?! Back to heaven?!"
Heaven? No fucking way-
"Do you- do you actually think I'm an angel?" Oh god. The look on his face was enough to let you know that he was actually serious.
"You can deny it all you want, but I am your husband to be and you cannot lie to me! You appeared out of nowhere in my castle. You cured me, you brought that baby back to life and you have escaped death one too many times! You may think I'm a fool, but I'm the king of Jerusalem, head of the Church and you were sent to me by God Himself! YOU ARE MINE AND I WILL NOT LET YOU GO BACK!"
Oh God. Oh God, you're marrying a crazy person.
Wait.
"How did you know I was here?" Your brows knitted together when he didnt reply, still looking at you in rage. "Did Isabella-" You gasped.
Of course. OF-FUCKING-COURSE!
"She wasnt a thief. She was a spy!" You chuckled humourlessly. "All this time, I thought Guy was behind it all, but I knew- I knew he was too dumb to come up with such a plan. It was you! It was always you! You sent the Ismailis after me! You sent Isabella after me to steal my belongings and spy on me! You set me up with Abbas so that when you "saved" me, I'd fall for you! Oh and I'm sure you made it seem like Charlotte was also here because Guy had called her. You framed Guy just so that you could have an excuse to get rid of him!"
"I did it because I love you!"
"You hurt me because you loved me?" You whispered to him, tears flowing down your cheeks. "I almost burned to death because of you. And you say- no. Why did you do this, Baldwin? Why the hell did you do all this?!"
"I was- I was testing you." He answered, bending down on his knee to cup your face. "I... only wanted to see if you would come to me for help. If you truly trusted me, loved me enough to come to me." He wiped your tears away. "I'm sorry it had to happen this way, but it worked out in the end-"
"You dont test the people you love, Baldwin."
"Oh, come on. Even God tests his strongest believers-"
"YOU ARE NOT GOD!" You shrieked, pushing him away.
"I'm not, but I'm special to Him. He made you for me. He gifted you to me. He made you fall in love-"
"I dont love you!" You cried. "I can never love you! Never!"
Baldwin's face hardened. "You do love me. You said so yourself. Now, youre just saying nonsense out of hysterics. Calm down-"
"I hate you. I have never loathed anything as much as I loathe you. I would never love you, even if you were the last man on Earth. I fucking hate you."
Baldwin stared at your red face. "Well, I hope you can change your mind because we will be getting married tomorrow regardless." He tried to touch your face but you slapped his hand away. "Besides, I love you enough for the both of us."
-
Its Sunday. You were locked in your room with a whole infantry ordered to not let you out. You had cried the entire night at your loss, at your fate, at your stupidity. How could you have ever trusted Baldwin? And now you will have to marry this religious lunatic.
The maids did their best to dress you up and tried to mask your red, swollen eyes. And with Isabella in the room, you were sure she had told them to not comment at your pitiful state.
You were standing outside the chapel with Salauddin. Everything seemed to blur, the choir singing, the attendees- you couldnt focus on anything.
"Y/n." You finally looked up at Salauddin, who was looking at you with deep concern. "Are you okay?" He asked you, noticing your teary eyes and dull expression.
"No."
He wasnt expecting you to answer bluntly.
"Do you want to marry Baldwin?" He whispered.
"No."
"I can help you-"
"No." You sniffled. "No one can."
The knights stood outside the chapel doors, waiting for you to enter. A few ladies held your trail behind you. Salauddin cast a glance at them before passing you something in your hand discreetly.
"Abbas asked me to give you this."
You opened your palm to see-
A key.
The key!
But how did he make this? You never designed it-
You smiled. That genius. He must've used the other parts to figure out the design and crafted it.
Abbas, I'm sorry I dont give you enough credit.
"Give him my thanks. And a lot of money, hm?" Salauddin could only nod in confusion. You looked back at your ladies. "I need to pee." Their eyes widened at the use of such crass language, especially in front of the sultan.
"But princess, the ceremony is about to start-"
"Would you rather I pee in my gown?" You snapped.
"But there is no bathroom here-"
"Then be useful and find a sheet and a bush. Now!" They all scrambled away to find some bush. You looked at the knights in front of you. "Go inside and inform them of a delay. The princess has to take a shit."
They looked hesitant to leave. "I'm not taking off my underclothes in front of you men. LEAVE!" They hurriedly went inside and closed the door to give you privacy.
You looked at Salauddin. "Can I borrow your horse?" He nodded, helping you up on it.
"Where are you going? I'll come with."
You shake your head. "No. I have to go alone. And I suggest you go inside as well."
"Y/n-"
"Please, Salauddin. No more questions. I dont want to lie to you." You smiled at him.
Salauddin reluctantly went inside the chapel, and you rode the horse out of there. There was only so long before Baldwin realised you had left, so you needed to speed things up. Grateful that you had swapped your broken time machine during your heated argument with Baldwin. You placed the new key in, just as you heard the sound of galloping horses and Baldwin-
"Y/N!" You didnt pay attention as you sped off ahead, only stopping when you reached the edge of the cliff. Climbing down, you looked at your machine as you turned the key.
It didnt turn on.
No. No. No-
"Y/N! GET BACK HERE!" Baldwin yelled at you, getting off his horse as he made his way. His troops had surrounded the area so you couldnt escape.
You looked back at your time machine and you- you banged it with your hand. "Come on. Come on!" This had to work- you banged on it as you would bang on a TV set when it stopped working, on a remote when it didnt operate quite right.
"Did you think you could escape me?!" You looked up and Baldwin was a few feet away.
"Baldwin stop!" You took a step back, nearing the cliff. "I'll jump-I'll fucking jump, I swear!" He halted.
"Dont be stupid, Y/n. Come to me, and we can put this behind us-"
You banged on the machine, cutting him off.
The machine turned on.
You grinned as Baldwin stared at you, shaking his head. "Dont-"
You jumped, pressing the button and hoping you returned to your time. You hadnt been able to set the date cause of the broken buttons.
The last thing you heard was Baldwin screaming your name.
So what do you guys think? Yall better comment and send asks and reboots because i sacrificed lunch and dinner for this.
Also, what do u guys think will happen in the next part? Do you think she'll return home or to a new timeline??? And which era???👁👁
PART 8 is here!
#yandere baldwin#yandere salauddin#time traveller au#baldwin iv#king baldwin x reader#the leper king#king baldwin iv#salauddin
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IGNORE THIS; I AM JUST HAVING A CRISIS. WILL BE FINE TOMORROW
Emmet doesn't care whether Ingo lives or dies -ingo needs a kidney and Emmet is the only one who can give it- Emmet is informed- there is no one who is Ingo's new family - Emmet doesn't have to do this for anyone but Ingo - Emmet is a good person or tries to be- Emmet is aware that he is the only person that will be able to care of Ingo dies and he doesn't care - Emmet is aware that he is the only one who can help Ingo - they ask him if he'd like to donate his kidney and he doesn't want to but if he doesn't care then he can give it - Emmet donates kidney - Ingo lives - they do not speak again but they part knowing the other would help them out
#hed be just like alright fine ill do it just because it changes nothing for me#ingo would want to libe and emmet doesnt care#so the only person that cares would be Ingo and in the end there is no one else that would say the opposite so emmet has reason to let Ingo#live because ingo himself would want to live and no one wants him to die and if he doesn't care then someone wanting to live while no one#wants them to die is reason enough to save them#please for the love of god let me be done with this thing#ignore this if you somehow see it by the way i am trying to get the ocd obsession out of my system#he would do this even if he thought ingo didn't deserve it because again he wouldnt let someone die#even if they didnt deserve a second chance at life if they asked and no one cared to deny them and he could deliver he would do it. even#if he hated them personally#because if they arent hurting other people actively he'll help them out anyway despite his own feelings#he might feel it is unfair but he would still do it. he would be very vocal about the unfairness and his hatred though#he would let them know he is better than them as he should#ok enough now i do not think about anything like this anymore or i'll start all over again and find some imaginary flaw that isnt there and#start spiraling again#this is true#what i said in this post and tags is true because there is literally no other way things would make sense to go#any other way would be literally out of character and therefore cant be true#please for the love of god brain let me stop here is nothing else to think about this is over this is true and#and there is no fault in the thought process#if anyone was the only person to be able to help someone hated or not they would help if they were the only one to hate them even if no one#loved them#and if they dont the personality they have is drastically different from the ones ingo and emmet have so again it would be ooc#ENOUGH NOW.
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the cowboy doesn’t even try to hold his laughter inside, erupting into airy giggles almost as soon as the words are out of her mouth. “yeah, it’s plain to see i take after you with my olive skin and brown eyes and height, but what about my hair? do i have my pa’s hair? who even is my pa?” he jokingly inquires, tapping the side of his chin in wonderment, eager to see what she comes up with. “hey, don’t be sad, ma. it was only a silly jest.” he knows the look on her face, much like the one on his own, is only an act, and still his heart breaks. he cups her cheek with his wet palm, stroking her soft skin affectionately with the pad of his thumb to soothe the sting of his words, worrying he might have gone too far. that is, until he hears her next words, which have his hand falling back into the tub as though her skin was afire. “fifteen?!” he repeats, dumbfounded. he falls for her act, her explanation about having to grow up faster making perfect sense, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach for flirting with her without a care in the world. he was convinced she was no child, but clearly — he was wrong. “i apologize, lucy gray. you obviously don’t look fifty-three, but i did assume you were a couple years older than you actually are.” does he regret wishing she weren’t such a mystery? yes, now that his insides are churning, yes. “thirty five? you think i’m thirty five and here you are, scrubbing my back and…” he trails off, trying to keep the tremors in his voice under control. has she been flirting with him as well? he’s almost certain that yes, she has. eyes open wide as he shakes his head, cheeks flushed with embarrassment because this is something jesse’s strange friends would do, not billy. “i’m nineteen, twenty this november,” he admits truthfully, staring at her in utter disbelief. a child, lord almighty, she’s a child. the thought makes his nauseous, butterflies evaporating from his belly.
“no,” he’s quick to protest, hearing her wonder aloud whether he’d like her to go skinny dipping with him. he cuts the flirting all at once, bashful eyes leaving her face, shamed. he should have known she was just a child still, the teddy bears he’d glimpsed in her room, the bubbly personality befitting a young teenage girl. he wants to kick himself for failing to put two and two together. “what time do you serve dinner to your goat? she already ate?” he’s so embarrassed, his brain fixated on how he’s just fallen in love with a child, disgusted beyond belief with himself, that he wishes she could just give him a moment to recover by himself. he doesn’t know how he’ll look her in the eyes again, but he does know this playful bickering has to end. fifteen might be a woman grown to most men, jesse and his friends surely wouldn’t mind, but he’d rather bite off and swallow his own tongue than agree with them. “lucy gray, why didn’t you tell me sooner? that you were fifteen? you should have. i wouldn’t have acted like an idiot around you. i’m sorry.”
“mhm, my thoughts exactly,” the cowboy lets out a chuckle and nods in agreement, enjoying this playful exchange a little more than he probably should. this blossoming bond between their souls fascinates him. “and look at our eyes! mine are just like yours, same color, same shape, same everything.” the air seems to be thrumming with a different kind of energy now, something that he can’t even begin to describe — infatuation? on his end, for sure. “43? ma… i been sittin’ here thinkin’ you’re at least 53,” he teases, hoping to conceal the disappointment in his voice. he’s naturally a very curious person, but since she’s not answering his question, only dodging it, he decides not to pressure her. but why would she want to avoid it? she’s petite, her skin looks radiant and smooth as silk, there’s no way he’ll ever guess her age correctly on his own. she must really enjoy mysteries, he thinks, not sure he enjoys trying to solve them. though, he can’t say she doesn’t intrigue him, even if that comes with a grain of frustration. “not sure i can believe you. that’s what all mamas say.” does that mean she will brush his hair, too? the thought makes his heart skip a beat.
“would that really be so bad if you’re already planning to take a bath later on?” he teases, playfully reaching for the hem of her skirt and pretending he wants to pull her in. “just honesty. your honesty wounds my pride.” struggling to refrain from laughing and keep on pouting, he doesn’t understand why but he just loves playing with her like this. she helps him forget about the real world, about what awaits him outside these walls. “that’s a good start. as long as you can stay afloat, i guess we can say you can swim.” he’s all jokes and sweet smiles, but makes a mental note to himself to make sure they stay away from rivers and creeks and lakes. how can she bathe in these when she can only doggy paddle? “how can i be sure you scrubbed them good,” he pauses, her hand on his chest tickling, sending wave of warmth up his chest, distracting him from what he intends to say, “when you grimace at the thought of kissing them, hm?” for a moment, he forgets that he’s not talking to his wife of twenty years. his heart seems to see no difference between that and lucy gray.
#billysgirllol#mobile.#umm?? excuse you?? not true 😭 your morning replies are just as beautiful and i love them and wouldnt want to have them any other way 😭😭😭💕💕💕#your replies are always pure masterpieces so idk what you mean 😭#XJSJXJBS GOODBYE THO CAUSE HE FELL FOR THAT SO QUICJ#dino’s questioning his choices big time JXNSJS#want me to go skinny dippin with you?#NO 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 IM LAUGHING OMGOSH I FEEL SORRY FOR HIM BUT ALSO 😂😂😂😂😂#and i make him be 19/20 cause he apparently passed when he was 21? so it kinda makes sense 😂#but since i don’t intend for him to die ever i’ll be writing him always 😂 if you want me to age him up a bit lmk! 💕💕💕
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Qsmp is the cultural exchange. Its the learned words. The way terms like cubito and fofoca have entered our vocabulary. The way ccs from different cultures regularly hang out. The way other streamer events want to try and add translated captions to be more accessible to an international audience.
Qsmp is the family. The irl meet ups that we rarely see much of because theyre too busy having a good time. The karaoke clips. The way the ccs are still in contact with the egg admins after everything. The way the qsmp couples joke about dating out of mc ("theyre really hard selling it!")
Qsmp is the futility. The thousands of failed escapes. The failures to rebel. The acknowledgement that nothing lasts forever and your kids will die.
Qsmp is the horror. The threat of attack. The jumpscares. The tears shed over the dead eggs. The maze that reeks of death. All piled on top of the lurking threat of the unknown.
Qsmp is the grief. The bobbys fields. The geggs. Codeflippa. Its maximus feeling as if everything he loves is taken away from him until he cant take it anymore and lets himself get taken out by his own nuke. Its bad crying after dapper dies. Its roier spiralling after purgatory, childless husbandless and life partner-less. Its sunny calling corpses mermaids.
Qsmp is the mystery. Its theory bros and ordo theoritas and about 3 different secrets rooms used to create hypotheses as to whats going on. Its the arg. Its cellbit doing puzzle after puzzle to investigate the federation. Its Tubbos conversations with cucurucho, some of the most effective interrogations weve ever seen. Its attempt after attempt to search the maze or infiltrate the federation building.
Qsmp is the humour. The big swell and slimeriana gay sex. Badboyhalo filling tubbos hole. Abueloier logging on just to be a nuisance and to make everyone laugh. KELP will help and KOC will rock. Hoping Felps will be added to the smp soon.
I could go on but this is all really underpinned by one thing.
Qsmp is the love and the kindness and the happiness and the joy. And i wouldnt have it any other way
#this is definitely a bit scewed to what i watched of the server so feel free to add to this post#but i had a god this server was so cool moment and had to get it out#qsmp
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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over
Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰
#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually#very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds#like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd#but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga#and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit#and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road#its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control#which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way#like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health#i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to#be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game#is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me#cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused#but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone#like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways#and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed#but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child#shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING#HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY#like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work#apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs#his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be#better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy#and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad#how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel#makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired
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Plot bunny?
You are a servant of some god during the Archon War.
He enslaved you and your people, saying that humans are too simple to rule themselves.
***
You scratched the dirty floor, trying to achieve perfection as your god demanded it. It didn't matter that your knees hurt as skin gave up and broke. It didn't matter that your fingernails were almost completely destroyed. It didn't matter that your spine was giving up.
This task was the simplest one your pathetic self could do. That's the only thing you could do. Thing that you were made to do.
At least it was what your "Master" said.
Your village laid in the mountains, growing into a small city over the years, slowly connecting with other small villages. It was peaceful, your biggest enemies being some rowdy slimes and a geovishap from time to time. But that changed when your "Master" marched in the town and claimed all that he saw. He was the one who told you that as humans, you are simple, made to serve. He killed anyone who disagreed, showcasing how weak you are.
Now, you almost believed him.
Yet, as years of breaking your back and thinking of not being worthy of doing anything else but serving your master, one moment in your life caused it to change completely.
*
You only watched as guards dragged someone, following Master and his toy - Alatus. You wondered who angered your Master this time and yet, as you uncharacteristically looked away from your work on the victim, you couldnt recognise even a bit of human in him. That meant one thing - your Master defeated a new enemy.
His beaten body was a mix of somewhat human and a dragon. He had a long tail with some missing scales and fluffy end was drenched in mud. His clothes that once could be white were mostly covered in blood and dirt. His back was bare of clothing, and you could see whip marks along it, scales on it missing as well. His hair was all over the place, tangled and greasy. And on top of his head you saw two orange horns, that dully glowed.
If it was your old self, you would say that this man was beautiful. But as you learned in the hard way - god's were cruel beings and their beauty was nothing but a mask put over a monster inside.
Your second encounter with him was when you were tasked with cleaning steps leading to the throne. Your Master often ordered servants to clean while he was there, so he could watch over you, as humans were so stupid that they often missed spots.
You dutifully scrubbed the steps and golden decorations while the god that your Master captured was being kicked around by him.
Your Master ordered Alatus to whip him again, and you heard grunts coming out of the strangers mouth. It sounded like he didn't have any strength left to scream.
For some reason you felt... sad? As if you didn't want this stranger to suffer. You were told that god's are heartless and humans are replaceable, so why do you feel sad for him?
*
You were tasked with giving the new prisoner food while he waited for his execution. It was weird.
He tried to talk to you. Like you weren't lower being. He thanked you for goodness sake. It wasn't something a god would do. Or maybe it was something your god wouldnt do?
You thought about this for a long time. This stranger was the kindest treatment you experienced in years. You couldn't let him die.
So now there you were, running with a torch and stolen keys through long and gloomy corridors, looking for him.
Your heart was racing and your mind was filled with terror. If you were caught, you would suffer. Why were you even doing this again? Humans weren't supposed to have free will, so why?
You saw him, chained to the walls behind thick bars. His wounded flesh angry red, wounds dirty with various spices that your Master ordered to smear in his wounds. He now looked weak, but you knew it was only because of that collar made of cursed metal. It was suppressing his godly powers.
But not for long.
Frantically you searched the keys and opened his cell. He looked at you shocked - he only saw light when he was dragged outside for torture. And you definitely looked too weak to do that. He was silent as you unchained him and freed his neck from that collar. Grabbing his hand, you stormed out, running towards the hidden exit.
As you stopped and opened door to the outside, you looked in his reptilian eyes.
"Free us please"
You didn't know where these words came from.
As he tried to speak, you heard ruckus and screams. Your Master felt his enemy being freed. You didn't listen to the stranger, pushing him outside and slamming the door, only telling him to go.
You then ran to servants quarters and laid down, praying that the chaos will buy him enough time.
You will be dead by tomorrow morning, but perhaps as you dared to hope, maybe some of the others will taste the freedom in their lives.
luke: plot bunny? :)
also luke: *dishes out a whole fic*
me: what-
also luke: and here's a cliffhanger :)
me: *angery kitten screams*
NO BUT FR THIS IS A WHOLE ASS FIC YOU JUST DROPPED IN MY INBOX HELLO????????? imma cry my zhongli my bby he does not deserve all these tortures ;A;
but but but the potential for this to turn yandere..... oooohfladhufsebfurnsuf frothing screaming salivating-
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𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐓 𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄
a snippet of what could have been a good story.
angst at first, attempted assault, p in v, hate sex
“you always like to start some shit when it doesn’t go your way.” toji seethed, eyes glaring into yours as he looms over you. “you act like i wanted any of this to happen.”
“really? i couldn’t fuckin’ tell.” you spit back, arms folded and glaring right back at him.
he sucks his teeth, his arms shaking and heart racing with rage, anxiety, animosity. “always talkin’ about my faults, we never talk about yours.”
“oh really? what the fuck is my problem?” you ask, finally looking up to him and becoming chest to chest. you point your finger into his chest, rage flowing into you. “we talk about your faults because you have many more than i do.”
“well for starters, you bitch and whine all the time.” he gets closer, chest pressed to yours. “you talk alot of shit as if you have room to qualify.”
“because i do qualify, toji!” you bark, agitation flowing over you. “maybe i talk shit because you left me in the fucking dust as if what we had was nothing to you!”
“we were teenagers stuck in a fucking clan.” he deadpans, raising his own voice. “if you mean that little ‘relationship’ you think we had, i would just say we were fucking each other. nothing more or less than that.”
just fucking huh?
“you bastard— you said that you were in love with me!” you remind, a snarl coming from your throat.
“bitch- i was sixteen!” he shouts, his hands shaking more and hes growing more irritated, more anxious the longer this conversation goes. “you act like i cheated on you or something— we werent together!”
“and yet you promised me you would be better, that you wouldnt be an asshole— but look at you!” you slap the backs of your hands on his chest, watching his eyebrow twitch. “youre no better than the fucking clan!”
“the fuck did you say?” he asks, dumbfounded.
“oh, i gotta break it down for you? youre no better than a fucking zenin, because thats all you will ever fucking be!”
he blinks for a second, his brain allowing him to process the information and he swiftly raises his hand, quickly stopping himself before his palm reached your face. he grits his teeth, staring down at you.
“do it, i fucking dare you toji.” you warn, watching his eyes.
he breathes deeply, his hand wrapping around the back of your neck to pull you in for a deep kiss. a kiss you havent had since he left you in a empty house, that the clan had left you to essentially die in. you, still shaking, embrace the kiss as he forced his way inside of your mouth.
“sometimes,” he says in between kisses, “i really despise you.” he finalizes, hands all over you and his lips at your neck, a hand on your hip and a hand on your breasts.
“can say the same for you.” you retort, your hands tugging on the back of his hair and he groans.
the fact you remember he likes that… surprised him.
your back his the bed, eyes looking up to toji and moaning as he suckles on a hardened nipple, and a hand spreading your legs apart. the air fans against your bare clit, making you shiver.
hes gotten bigger, over the years. sure, he was a good size when he was younger with you, taller, a bit bulky, but now? hes massive— not mentioning his cock grew, too.
he aligns himself with your entrance, and you grab his shoulder. “if you think im wet enough for you to slam the whole thing in, we can call it quits.”
he stares at you for a second, face straight and his hands holding yours down. “if you want this to feel good, better ask properly.”
you suck your teeth, a heat coming to your face. “please, give me some kind of lube before you go in.”
“thats much better.” he sarcastically replied, sliding down to pull your knees apart, his breath fanning your clit and you jump slightly. he stops, looking up to you. “i havent even touched your little pussy, yet.”
“shut up..”
“guess you havent had any action in a minute, huh?” he asks, but doesn’t care for a response. he licks at your clit, a thumb hooking down inside your cunny and he suckles the nub of nerves.
you roll your eyes in bliss, hand going into his hair and you forget to tug at it, him reminding you to do so with your pussy in his mouth. his wet muscle slips inside, fidgeting with your folds and suckling at anything he can. “think ‘yer all prepped, now.” he gruffs, pulling himself back up to align with just you.
you silently wish he wouldve kept going, a hiss from both of you as he sinks inside of your velvety walls and you sit there for a moments time.
he stares down at you, eyebrows furrowed and he breathes heavier. his hands are already sweaty, but he pulls his hips back and pushes them forward in a agonizingly slow pace. he grits his teeth again, a groan in his mouth as he sinks deeper and deeper with each thrust.
your hands travel up his back, feeling the old scratches on his back you gave him all those years ago. theyve healed, feeling the slight scar tissue over his skin and you moan when he hits a new spot.
fuck you, toji.
and you scratch over the same ones, he groaning when you do so and his head drops. “fuck— you fucking bitch.” he breathes out, enduring the pain for the most part, but it still feels so good to him..
you feel good to him.
he grabs your throat, pulling you up and kissing you. his knees support him up, you being pulled along with him and him holding you in his lap, fucking up into your womb and swallowing your moans.
“toji..” you breathe out, you trying to hide your face into his shoulder, but he pulls you back as his hips start to bully their way into your walls. “toji..”
“this what youve been wanting again, right?” he asks, slamming you back onto the bed and his head goes to your neck, biting and kissing the tender flesh as he holds your hips down. “cum for me, fucking cum.” he growls his demands, his jaw dropping when he feels your pretty pussy clamp down and spasm around his length. “fuck yeah,” he groans, his big arms pulling your legs onto his shoulder as he puts himself into a new angle.
“to-toji!” you cry out, hands patting at his chest in a retort. “fuck— fuck!”
“uh huh.. me too.” he moans, pushing himself closer to you. your hamstrings burn, the stretch of him pushing your knees to your chest, just so he can get deeper makes you squirm. “fuck, gettin’ close.” he moans out, eyes rolling and he pulls himself away from you. hot, thick ropes spurt onto your thighs, him breathing heavy all the meanwhile.
you pulled your shirt back over your head, pulling the clothing down and he coughs. “you know.. i didnt have a choice in leaving you or not.” he starts off, his voice a little softer. “i truly didnt.”
you don’t respond, just focused on getting dressed while you try and think of something to say. “why did you leave?” you ask, of all things.
“im still not sure as why.” he responded, peering over to you. he licks the scar over his lip, a nervous tick. “yo can ask whatever you want.”
“why did you hunt me down?” you ask, something that had been eating at you ever since he found you a few days back.
he feels his heart pang, a deep breath. “..i uh—“ he tries to say, not too sure how to put it, other than what it is. he sighs, just saying to hell with sugarcoating it. “i.. fell in love with a woman.”
you stop all motion, your heart sinking to the pit of your ass and you turn to look at him. “what the fuck.”
“i know. its..” you cut him off, anger fueling your bones and blood.
“you track me down for years just to scream at me and then get your dick wet, just so you can tell me you fell in love with a woman?” you put plainly, because thats what he did, to the tea.
“better than me not telling you.” he rolls his eyes, pulling his jeans back up. “what the fuck do you want me to do?”
you both bicker back and forth, ending words off with ‘fuck yous’ and him storming off.
why did it have to be her and not you? why was she the one that healed you and what made you crumble at the same time?
#fushiguro toji x reader#toji x you#toji smut#jujutsu toji#jjk toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji zenin#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji x black!reader#toji x black reader#dvs haunted mansion 🧟♀️
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