#he would fuck eli sunday because he’s probably a freak

[springtrapsgf]

i need one of those buzzfeed freaks to get paul dano to read thirst tweets rn i’ll do anything

[swannscroft]

Gun for Hire OC---> Far Cry 5

Elizabeth (Liz) Palmer “Fights because she can.”

Specialty:  Spy Age:  21 Birthday:  July 10th  Hair:  Blonde Eyes:  Hazel Height:  5’7” Location:  Whitetail Mountains- South of the Stone Ridge Chalet Occupation:  Former college student Backstory:   Liz grew up in Hope County and went to high school there.  She was the 2nd baseman for the Hope County Cougars softball team.  She helped them win the state championship two years in a row.  Despite her Cougars shirt, she fights with The Whitetail Militia.  She is the niece of Eli Palmer.  When she returned to her childhood home for the first time in years, she was captured by the cult. Jacob discovered her relation to Eli and used her against him

Recruitment Mission:  Help Liz blow up the speakers around the Stone Ridge Chalet. ELIMINATE all enemies/ FREE Liz/ TALK to Liz/ FOLLOW Liz/ BLOW UP the speakers (0/5) /TALK to Liz Rewards:   +600 Resistance points/ Liz Palmer added to your roster/ Carry more melee weapons

Special Abilities: MELEE EXPERT- Give her a bat and she’ll knock any Peggies out of the park. - Liz’s weapon of choice is a barbwire baseball bat with screws sticking out of it.  You’ll also be able to get a few extra melee weapons from her if yours run out.  That means more shovels and more dead Peggies. PEGGIE INTEL- Marks all locations of enemy properties on your map. - When active as one of your GFH all the locations of cult properties including; roadblocks, prisoners vans, and supply vehicles are revealed on your map for the specific region you are in.

Relationships:  

Eli- She is very close with her Uncle.  Will do anything he asks.  Even if that sometimes means not fighting if it means that she’s safe.

Wheaty- Is best friends with Wheaty.  They are always hanging out at the Wolf’s Den together and jamming to the best music.

Jess- The archer doesn’t like her.  Jess thinks that she’s just as bad as all the other Peggies.  Jess calls her ‘Jacob’s little bitch’.  The girls will get along if they share a common goal in killing cultists, but that’s about it.

Sharky- He and Liz will argue over which songs to play on the radio.  Sharky wants to play disco, while she prefers classic rock.  Despite their difference in music taste she finds Sharky very amusing.

Adelaide- She absolutely LOVES Adelaide.  Addie thinks of Liz as the daughter she never had and likes Liz better than Hurk Jr.  She and Addie will talk about which of the guys in Hope County are the hottest (and how the Seed bros are the hottest out of all of them.)

Grace- Liz really looks up to Grace and aspires to be like her.  Sometimes she’ll totally fangirl when Grace is around.  Grace finds it flattering but doesn’t see herself as a role model.

Pratt- She dated Staci Pratt for a few months in high school.  Despite their messy break up, she feels terrible that he is under Jacob’s control.

Hurk Jr- Liz totally wants to join Hurk’s Gate but he won’t let her because she isn’t named Hurk.  She told him by that logic he and his father would be the only ones that could join his cult.  

What she thinks of the Seed siblings:

Joseph- She finds his man bun creepy.  She can’t decide if he looks more like a hipster or a cowboy.  She almost accidently ended up in the cult when she was younger.  No one had told her that they were crazy.  Liz had wandered in Joseph’s compound one Sunday morning in high school.  She thought he was a youth pastor.  To her surprise Joseph was indeed not, a youth pastor.

John- Does not like John’s power of yes.  One of her worst fears is ending up in John’s bunker.  Getting her skin cut off isn’t her definition of a ‘good time’.

Jacob- Won’t really tell anyone the truth about what happened while she was with Jacob.  If you ask her about it she’ll dodge the question.  No one knows if he tortured her or something very different.  All everyone knows is that she spent a lot of time with the redhead soldier.  Jacob enjoyed knowing that he had Eli’s niece under his thumb.

Faith- Liz is actually quite fond of Faith.  She feels bad for the girl, knowing that she wasn’t the first girl controlled by Joseph.  Before Joseph had found Rachel, he had picked out Liz as one of the potential candidates for ‘Faith’.  You’ll sometimes see her chitchatting with Faith when she appears.  Liz has wandered into the bliss willingly to try to reason with Faith but the girl is too far gone.

Quotes:

In her recruitment mission- “Thanks for getting me out of that cage.  If I had been there any longer I’d be good as dead.  My name’s Liz.  I’m Eli’s niece.  My Uncle runs the militia up in these mountains.  I didn’t know shit about this Eden’s Gate nonsense before.  I had just gotten home and those fucking cultists nabbed me out on the road. Jacob was ready to write me off as weak, feed me to his judges, until he found out who I was.  He liked having me around, knowing that I was related to Eli.  He kept me in a cage and treated me like I was his pet, called me his ‘little lamb’.  I guess Jacob got tired of my big mouth.  I had outgrown my usefulness to him. He said he’d come back for me when I was nothing but bones.  I’ve gotten real sick of listening to this bastard talk.  Help me take out the speakers around here so I don’t have to listen to him anymore.”

“I’ll put in a good word with Eli for ya’, tell him you’re one of the good ones.  Look Dep, I know you got a lot of skilled people looking to help you but I’d love to fight back.  You and me, we’re gonna shove my bat so far up Jacob’s ass that he’s gonna choke on it.  See you around, Dep.

In Jacob’s region- “Why does everyone think that I fucked Jacob Seed?  I mean sure Jacob’s tall, buff, and okay whatever, he’s a hunk I’ll give him that.  But do you know how old he is?  47.  That’s fucking disgusting.  I ain’t nobody’s sugar baby.  Besides if someone told you were meat every day, you wouldn’t want to fuck them either.”

“I never got to properly thank you for getting me out of there Dep.  Eli’s really the only family I have left.  I’d do anything for him.  Even if that means doing some things that I don’t agree with.”

“I don’t think Jacob realizes that when he tells someone they are meat it has a different connotation when he says it to a woman.  It makes it sound like Jacob’s into some kinky shit.  Not that I would have firsthand experience about that.  Because... I don’t...”

“Truth is, I was really no one before I met Jacob.  I was just a dumb sorority girl.  Eden’s Gate trained me, they showed me how to fight.  Too bad all that training will be used to kill every single last one of them.”

“You’ve met Jacob in person before, right Dep?  He’s one ugly son of a bitch ain’t he?  He looks pretty good without a shirt though... like damn.  Did I just say that out loud?”

In John’s region- “I heard that John tattoos people’s chest then cuts off their skin and calls it ‘atonement’. I call being a perverted little shit.  He probably just kidnaps the pretty women so he can rip their shirts off.”

“Did I ever tell you about the time I just waltzed into Joseph’s Compound?  Yeah my dumb ass thought it was just a new church in town.  None of the warning signs in my head were going off.  I just thought ‘hey this church has tv screens for the song lyrics, that’s cool!’  I have a selfie with Joseph Seed somewhere on my phone.  I’m pretty sure I put it on my snapchat story too.”

“If no one else is gonna talk about the elephant in the room, I’m gonna say it.  All of the Seed Brothers are hot as fuck.  Too bad they’re all fucking insane.  Man it is always the crazy ones that get ya’.  Just ask all those women that went home with Ted Bundy.  You can’t.  Because you know…  They’re dead.”

In Faith’s region- “It’s not Faith’s fault that’s she’s crazy.  She wasn’t the first one to be controlled by Joseph.  There were countless girls before her who took on the name Faith.  He even sought me out at one point.  I’m just glad it was her who took the name and not me.”

“Everybody will go on and on about how great the Hope County baseball team is but they sucked ass.  It was the softball team that were the real ball players.  We won two state championships back to back.  I hit the game winning home run for one of them.  But I’m sure Sharky and Hurk will just tell you how fun it was to get hammered at the baseball games.”

“Killing all these angels, I feel just like Rick Grimes!  You don’t watch that show?  When this is all over Dep we’re sitting on my couch and binge watching every episode.  It’s going to be freaking awesome!”