#he was willing to go find terry ALONE.

[november-rising]

I was thinking about the dichotomy of Carmy and Sydney (overt and covert expression). I believe in this and how these manifest in each character – particularly Carmen. Carmy is attempting to live in what he feels is functional because it’s not like his family or like Chef David; however, his actions are still aggressive, obsessive, tight and unyielding. He’s becoming what he doesn’t want to be. And yet this is family.

His saving grace is his overt acknowledgement of his failures as one running the ship. He's barely realizing how he fucks up. Yet he wants to be better.

But how has he tried to move past it all or ask “what more can I do?” He probably doesn’t know how. He’s been confined in every important and driven aspect of his life. So, he pushes regardless of the nurturing advice he’s received during his training before Eleven Madison Park. How he had mentors such as Chef Terry who reminded him to slow down and calm down. He wants to bring that to the kitchen through nurturing the others to the best of clout and privilege. He saw how the OG Beef team was even greater but, in doing so, he imprisoned himself in being a constant leader. He’s never been as such. Carmy has been driven by others. Never himself. So, he strives, throws himself into something without fully knowing what he’s doing.

Covertly, Carmen is trying to change and evolve everyone and everything because maybe that will make a difference. Covertly, Carmen punishes himself to prove that he wasn't the reason his brother killed himself. Covertly, he’s trying to change himself and his understanding of abuse.

In comes Sydney. She’s talented. Impatient but knowing what she wants. She’s willing to do what is needed and respects Carmy’s input. She is finding her own place. I don’t know what it’s like to not have my mother in my life growing up. I can only imagine the soft specter of her in Syd and her father’s life. The small reminders in décor. Her father’s reminiscing. The need for something that you don’t know is there.

So, knowing that life is so ever fleeting, Syd forged her own path at the risk of cutting ties with other family members who didn’t understand. As a Black woman, I can imagine the pressures of doing something more financially stable. Doing something to honor the sacrifices your parents made.

And Syd did something wholly hers. She overtly stated that she will be her own person in this white male dominated field and show everyone. She did with Sheridan Road. She has run a business. She has a fire resume and a fire palate. But, now that she’s shone brightly and “failed”, she may be taming herself to fit in. These seasons have shown that she had a voice. She was loud and open and supportive to others. Her overt desire to have this restaurant succeed is obvious. Yet, with Carmy, she’s holding back because she hasn’t had this much control.  Because she hasn’t felt this seen. It’s scary so she holds back (particularly season three). Trying to express herself through “snark” all the while desperately needing her partner to be the one she saw glimpsed in season two. She “stupidly” wanted more, received it, and needs more if it. She shared some but not all of her fear. Subtly sharing her fear to this again alone. Syd was told otherwise and shown the truth.

Something that just hit me is that impulsivity and impatience is subconsciously thought of as control for Sydney and Carmen.

Thank you @thoughtfulchaos773 and @ciaomarie for the quick chat that got me going towards this.

[httyddragonfox]

The Dragon Prince: Hatred & Vengeance vs Justice.

We are always told that Justice is better than Vengeance. If someone does something morally wrong with no defense for their actions, then they need to be brought to their actions.

Viren killed Rayla's parents, at least put them in a fate worse than death, she is justified in her hatred. Viren is also a threat to Xadia, a threat to peace, willing to kill a baby dragon, start a war with Xadia, kills humans just to achieve that war. He's dangerous and needs to be dealt with. That's justice. Do what needs to be done and nothing more. However, when Viren disappears, Rayla can't rest until she knows he's gone. She gets obsessed with revenge and this makes her leave Callum behind, believing she was doing what was best for him. As she admits in the second arc, it was wrong to leave him behind and go searching for Viren. She didn't even find him so all she did was leave Callum for 2 years.

Then there's the characters who lost who they loved in similar situations.

Avizandum, the Dragon King, struck down Sarai as she attempted to save Viren's life. She didn't want to go on the mission to Xadia, she thought it was wrong what they were doing, but she died doing the right thing. Avizandum was protecting the border, he was doing his job, he's not a threat to anyone who doesn't cross it. There's no need for violent justice, sadly. It was cruel, but that's just how things were.

Similarly, Leola was tattled on by Anak Arow, which caused the Star touch elves to deem her worthy of death. Her crime, she gave magic to humans, and thanks to divination, they foresaw that this would lead to the end. Yet, she was a child who just wished to be kind to the people she loved. They were just enacting what they saw as justice, it's cruel and sad, but there is no need for justice as violence.

The best form of justice here, is making sure they don't die in vain, to fulfill their wishes. For Sarai, making sure the people could survive the winter. For Leola, making sure the humans had a chance.

However, justice is doing what is necessary and nothing more.

Both Aaravos, as well as Callum and Harrow, are justified in their hatred. (Heck, I hate the Star touch elves and Leola is not even my daughter).

How they act on their hatred determines who they are as people.

Harrow was willing to leave Avizandum alone, knowing vengeance for Sarai would not fix anything, only creating a bigger mess. Callum seeing Avizandum dead does not bring him joy, despite still hating the dragon. The reason, he's sad for Zym, it's his father and Zym is an innocent. Zym had nothing to do with what happened to his mom, heck Zym is a friend. Who is he to wish the death of a parent on him, despite it already happened, he can't be happy for it knowing what Zym has to live with.

Then there's Aaravos, who has spent centuries enacting his vengeance, trying so hard to destroy the cosmic order. Leola would have been content with humans just knowing primal magic, but he chose to make a bigger mess of things by giving them dark magic. He not only enacts vengeance on Sol Regum, but causes the end of several Xadian rulers all to cause war and have Xadia destroy itself. He killed Khessa for no reason, tried to kill baby Zym for no real reason, and had Katollis destroyed for no real reason (he could have had Claudia sneak in and get it). When Sol Regum eventually does die, Aaravos has to taunt him over the fact he's been manipulated for centuries, and enjoys his suffering. Meanwhile, he doesn't care that a kingdom of innocent people got torched.

Aaravos doesn't seem to care about lives anymore, only seeing people as potential pawns. He seems to enjoy arrogant people meeting their end in painful, humiliating ways, even if those people had nothing to do with his suffering.

Terry is right: What happened to him was awful, but he's been so twisted by hatred and vengeance that it's turned him into a monster with no concern for life, living for the suffering of others.

Callum and Harrow are better for attempting to not let their hatred rule them, Rayla is better for choosing justice over vengeance, but Aaravos is a villain for choosing violence and chaos and war.

[onlycosmere]

I wasn’t going to say anything about it because, frankly, I regularly read much better criticism of Brandon Sanderson on tumblr.

However, Brandon responded to that Wired article, so I’ll share his response with you all.

Brandon Sanderson:

All,

I appreciate the kind words and support.

Not sure how, or if, I should respond to the Wired article. I get that Jason, in writing it, felt incredibly conflicted about the fact that he finds me lame and boring. I’m baffled how he seemed to find every single person on his trip--my friends, my family, my fans--to be worthy of derision.

But he also feels sincere in his attempt to try to understand. While he legitimately seems to dislike me and my writing, I don't think that's why he came to see me. He wasn't looking for a hit piece--he was looking to explore the world through his writing. In that, he and I are the same, and I respect him for it, even if much of his tone seems quite dismissive of many people and ideas I care deeply about.

The strangest part for me is how Jason says he had trouble finding the real me. He says he wants something true or genuine. But he had the genuine me all that time. He really did. What I said, apparently, wasn't anything he found useful for writing an article. That doesn't make it not genuine or true.

I am not offended that the true me bores him. Honestly, I'm a guy who enjoys his job, loves his family, and is a little obsessive about his stories. There's no hidden trauma. No skeletons in my closet. Just a guy trying to understand the world through story. That IS kind of boring, from an outsider's perspective. I can see how it is difficult to write an article about me for that reason.

But at the same time, I’m worried about the way he treats our entire community. I understand that he didn’t just talk about me, but about you. As has been happening to fantasy fans for years, the general attitude of anyone writing about us is that we should be ashamed for enjoying what we enjoy. In that, the tone feels like it was written during the 80s. “Look at these silly nerds, liking things! How dare they like things! Don’t they know the thing they like is dumb?”

As a community, let’s take a deep breath. It’s all right. I appreciate you standing up for me, but please leave Jason alone. This might feel like an attack on us, on you, but it’s not. Jason wrote what he felt he needed--and as a writer, he is my colleague. Please show him respect. He should not be attacked for sharing his feelings. If we attack people for doing so, we make the world a worse place, because fewer people will be willing to be their authentic selves.

That said, let me say one thing. You, my friends, are not boring or lame. In Going Postal, one of my favorite novels, Sir Terry Pratchett has a character fascinated by collecting pins. Not pins like you might think--they aren't like Disney pins, or character pins. They are pins like tacks used to pin things to walls. Outsiders find it difficult to understand why he loves them so much. But he does.

In the book, pins are a stand-in for collecting stamps, but also a commentary on the way we as human beings are constantly finding wonder in the world around us. That is part of what makes us special. The man who collects those pins--Stanley Howler--IS special. In part BECAUSE of his passion. And the more you get to know him, or anyone, the more interesting you find them. This is a truism in life. People are interesting, every one of them--and being a writer is about finding out why.

In that way, the ability to make Stanley interesting is part of what makes Pratchett a genius, in my opinion. That's WRITING. Not merely using words. It’s what I aspire to be able to do. People are wonderful, fascinating, brilliant balls of walking contradiction, passion, and beauty. I find it an exciting challenge to make certain that the perspective of the washwoman or the monk sitting and reading a book is as interesting in a story as that of the king or the tech-mogul.

And I find value in you. Your passion for my work is a big part of why I write. You make my life special. Thank you.

(NOTE: I do want to make it clear, again that I bear Jason no ill will. I like him. Please leave him alone. He seems to be a sincere man who tried very hard to find a story, discovered that there wasn't one that interested him, then floundered in trying to figure out what he could say to make deadline. I respect him for trying his best to write what he obviously found a difficult article.

He’s a person, remember, just like each of us.)

[colonelpancakes]

Watching the dragon prince season six episode four: The Starscraper. Under the cut as usual.

I love Callum but how is he not frozen solid. Those fingerless gloves may be stylish but they are NOT insulating. Give my boy a coat.

Ooh that’s a beautiful building. It does look a tad like a Minecraft beacon but, it's a very pretty Minecraft beacon

Callum, why would you just stick your hand in? For all you know it’s like a forcefield or something and it zaps you!

Okay, my question is what is the benefit of an elevator partially activating once you’ve read half the runes? That seems like a real safety hazard, like that seems like a magic bug that needs to be fixed.

Woah, wait a minute! Interesting, some of the Celestial Elves seem to have wings that aren’t bird wings. That one in the back looks like they have bug wings. Can that happen with skywing elves? I guess bugs are also flying creatures that inhabit the sky so that would make sense. Hmm… I wonder if you can get Mage Wing bug wings…

Aww. The leaflynx kitten is adorable but also the music is giving major flashbacks to the baby deer at the end of season two. Claudia. Claudia don’t you dare.

Also, glowing butterfly motif!

CLAUDIA NO.

Okay good. It seemed like her hand was almost acting out of her control, I wonder if this much dark magic is starting to like, impact her reflexes? Like she instinctively reaches for things even if she doesn’t consciously want to? Or maybe she’s just snapping herself out of it who knows.

“Are you feeling alright?” “No, I’m not. I’m so messed up, Terry. I’ve been stuck, just staring, for over an hour now.” Oughhh Claudia, honey. Its good that she’s at least able to admit she’s not okay, that’s a good start.

Oh, hey is Claudia starting to lean away from dark magic? Or, like, recognize that it’s not a good thing? That’s interesting, previously she’s been very adamant that dark magic is a good and useful invention, but now she seems to be realizing the negative effects it’s had on her? …Claudia redemption arc? 👀

Skjslkajfdkl that is the exact same face that she made at Zym when she first met him. Some things never change.

I love the little pose Callum does when he’s introducing him and Rayla, he’s so dorky I love him.

Oh my God that escalated quickly. Not a friendly lot got it.

No! Gosh dangit pearl stop rolling around!

CLAUDIA REDEMPTION ARC?! Let’s GO! YES GIRL! SELF-IMPROVEMENT!

I find it interesting how after losing her dad, Claudia turns to Terry, her only present loved one, for instruction. She needs someone to tell her what to do, she needs someone to do things FOR. She went from following her dad's orders to working to save his life and now she doesn't have him to give her direction, she looks to Terry. When was the last time she did something for herself without someone's instructions?

“Only you can decide the path you’re going to walk. You won’t be alone. I’ll clear out the thorny brambles if I see them, I’ll hold your hand as we trudge through wet, mucky leaves. But… you have to choose the way.” I love Terry so much he’s such a sweetheart. He clearly loves Claudia so much and he’s willing to stick with her through everything and anything, whatever happens.

Claudia... Again, it's interesting, how, because she doesn’t know what she wants for herself, she defaults back to finding what her dad wants, thinking that if she looks at him, she’ll find some clarity and she’ll suddenly know what to do. She doesn't know what to do without her family because she's been doing things for them for her whole life.

Aww. Okay, the leaflynx kitten is adorable but. Was I the only one alarmed by how big it is? Something about the perspective in earlier shots made me think it was a lot smaller somehow.

Also, I love the butterfly landing in Claudia's hair in the previous shot.

No, I think Callum has a point here. They did just drop you from the top of the tower.

Oh, hey! Kosmo has vitiligo! That’s cool, yay representation!

Also, I haven’t mentioned it yet but I love Sneezle’s hanging out in Callum’s scarf it’s so cute.

I love Sol Regem’s design he’s so big and menacing. Plus the lighting in this location is so beautiful, the way it illuminates him from behind like a dusky backlight is *mwah*

Sooo, what are we thinking Sunseeds smell like? ‘Cause personally, I’m thinking freshly popped popcorn.

Karim, man, he literally told you that his sight was unrelated to his lack of hope. I don’t know how you are surprised by this.

Sksjlfakj poor Rayla.

Ohh wow. This episode is really going off with the gorgeous scenery and lighting. The Starlooms are so beautiful and I love the name "starweaver spider".

Oh! So that’s what the bug wings are! That’s really cool and such neat worldbuilding.

Hey! It's the intro galaxy!

Okay, that sounds cool in theory but I feel like in practice being Timeblind would kinda suck. I feel like that would just be like. Too much information at any given time it’d be hard to make connections with other people or like, enjoy day to day life.

Continued in reblogs as per usual!

[daryfromthefuture]

Dary, I would very much like to hear about the angsty miitopia au unfolding. :)

*takes a deep breath* Okay. I shall provide you with the basic information. This will take forever but I AM READY (just transferred a bunch of screenshots from my Switch to my phone to give visuals lmao)

Under the cut because this includes massive spoilers for Miitopia

Marty is the hero of our game, just a regular guy from a place called Greenhorne. He came to Greenhorne town only to find it attacked by the so called Dark Lord (who I made Edna in this game). Edna steals the faces off Miis and plants them on monsters so they gain power and fight Marty. Marty agrees to go on a quest to find and defeat the Dark Lord. So far, so good.

On the quest, he meets other Miis willing to help him. Those are Jennifer, Paul (from the Pinheads) and Linda. They fight and stuff (and rescue King Sam and Princess Lorraine as well as help Lorraine convince her dad to marry her childhood friend George instead of the prince Biff that Sam wants her to marry. Guys those roles were PERFECT for them I swear. George was spineless in this game and had the perfect color scheme, and Biff ws absolutely useless. 10/10 casting from my part), but as soon as they get to the next kingdom, the Dark Lord straight up kidnaps Marty's friends and he's all alone again :(

Here's some screenshots from the castle before we move on

Marty watching his parents. Yeah.

I said Marty was left alone? Well, not completely. He's not alone in spirit - because in Greenhorne, he has had an encounter with the Great Sage Doc, who has saved his life with his magic (you can see where this is going). Marty meets him again in Neksdor, as well as his new party members - Dave, young Emmett, and 1986B Jennifer (I was legit running out of BTTF characters because I had a lot of the townspeople be characters like Seamus and Maggie. And Clara is my horse. She's a purple unicorn. Oh and my quizmaster is Bill Nye which, also, is 10/10 casting. I am proud of myself)

In this new desert land called Neksdor (pun of "next door"), Marty and team fight a pharaoh before having to move on to the next kingdom. Oh and unhinged versions of my OCs because, again, I was running out of BTTF characters. I even gave Western Union Guy and Terry the car mechanic roles.

Edward Cobra.

Citizen Valley Jen being possessed

An impression of Neksdor (ft. Clara)

Next up, we had to go through the Realm Of The Fey, a fairy/elf kindgom. Once again, Edna kidnapped all my friends so I had to cast my OCs as new party members.

(absolutely no context screenshot but welcome Helen, Anthony, and Marion)

I cast server friends as the Fab Fairies because I SWEAr Bobby G doesn't have enough female characters in this franchise.

@bg-sparrow was the eldest Fab Fairy and I had to fight her as an owl. I'm so sorry BG lmao

After finishing off this kingdom, Marty got to head to Krakaton, where the Dark Lord hides out. His friends are once again kidnapped, and - much worse - Edna stole their faces, too!!

Marty discovers his friends with no faces and is absolutely devastated.

Enter the Great Sage.

The best part began: Doc joined Marty's team! Yay! Together, they went to rescue Marty's friends and had some endearing moments along the way :)

Look at them. They're buddies. I love them.

In the end of this mission, they manage to rescue all of Marty's friends and Doc leaves again. And now, we are approaching the final battle against the Dark Lord in Edna's castle retreat.

That battle was surprisingly easy and BOOM, Marty wins!! Congrats!

But the game is far from over. It turns out that Edns was in fact possessed by the so called Dark Curse, and now the Curse is looking for a new body. Naturally, it attacks Marty, being angry with him for defeating the Dark Lord.

And then Doc appears and saves Marty once again.

Sacrificing himself in the process.

Yep - Doc is a villain now. And he's even more powerful than ever before, due to his Great Sage powers. This is heavy, am I right?

Marty is absolutely heartbroken :( But Jennifer hypes him up jsgfdjhs

Now, Marty, his team and this kind dragon named Dominic have to chase Darker Lord Doc and defeat him to free the Great Sage

After Marty had to do a bunch of side quests collecting jewels that open the entrance to Doc's hideout, the Sky Scraper...

(More no context images)

...he stood in front of its gates, wondering whether he was making the right choice...

(I clicked No. Marty, being the selfless guy he is, did not think about himself afer a moment of consideration. It's funny, Marty never refers to the Darker Lord and Doc as the same person. It's so wholesome)

And now, here we are. I'm on my way to the final FINAL boss of this game, but this plot is absolutely destroying me. This Mii RPG game has no right to be this angsty like. Why.

As a reward for going through all this, have a sketch of them I made yesterday :]

I can't wait to rescue Doc from his misery 🫡 Thank you for reading, this game has me in a chokehold lmao

And thanks Nikki for the ask! It was fun rambling about all this

[kilfeur]

Déjà je veux saluer la performance de Youna Noiret et Emmanuel Curtil, car Viren qui essaie de la raisonner et le cri de désespoir de Claudia, ça venait du coeur. Alors j'étais contente de voir que Viren a survécu et le voir heureux avec Terry m'a fait sourire. En revanche, Claudia a pu exécuter le sort Infantis Sanguine et du coup RIP Monsieur Bavetout. Viren voit avec horreur et culpabilité de voir jusqu'où sa fille est prête à aller pour lui. Viren essaie de lui expliquer, qu'il est un homme nouveau et doit faire face à sa vérité et retourner Katolis. Et Claudia ne peut pas le comprendre, Viren a été son phare pendant cette quête. Elle pensait qu'une fois que son père sauvé, ils continueront dans cette voix là mais il refuse laissant sa fille derrière lui. Ce qui est encore plus tragique je trouve. Et Claudia qui a maintenant plus de phare va poursuivre sa quête de libérer Aaravos seule sans Terry. Ce qui fait parallèle avec Viren qui la laisse derrière elle.

I already want to salute the performance of Youna Noiret and Emmanuel Curtil, because Viren trying to reason with her and Claudia's cry of despair came from the heart. So I was glad to see that Viren survived, and seeing him happy with Terry made me smile. Claudia, on the other hand, was able to execute the Infantis Sanguine spell and so RIP Sir Sparklepuff. Viren watches in horror and guilt as he sees how far his daughter is willing to go for him. Viren tries to explain to her that he's a new man and must face up to his truth and return Katolis. And Claudia can't understand it, Viren has been her beacon on this quest. She thought that once her father was saved, they'd continue in that path, but he refuses, leaving his daughter behind. Which I find even more tragic. And Claudia, who now has no beacon, will continue her quest to free Aaravos alone without Terry. This parallels Viren, who leaves her behind.

[terrence-silver]

God I can't stop thinking about this: Yan! Terry from Karate Kid breaking into Darling's house because he is obsessed with her and loves to stalk her (just like when he broke into Mr. Miyagi's house dressed in his beautiful black leather jacket) . However, the girl returns home too early and catches him in the act. What happens in your opinion? With Smuttyyy and a lot of dialogue if it doesn't make you uncomfortable ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

--- (Yandere!Terry Silver x Reader)

---

He could just hire someone to do this shit.

But, where was the fun in all of that?

Not like he'd ever let anyone but him rummage through your things anyway.

Truth was, Terry knew your daily timetables by heart. Your comings. Your goings. It took time out of his otherwise busy schedule to discover all of it; collect information, precious intel. Make note of the exact times of departures and returns over weeks of observation --- your habits, each and every manner of yours a pleasure to memorize just for its own sake and not because he felt he needed to be quite so careful. Even the tactical layout of your place, unfamiliar to him in the beginning--- well --- he supposed all that military training from back in the day paid off where he could more or less instinctually gage which room stood where judging from the positioning of your windows. Your door. Your walls. He could pick a lock too. Breaking in seamlessly? Leaving no tremendous damage behind that would have you suspicious? Making it seem you could've merely forgot to lock the door in your hurry when you have in fact, your own perception playing tricks on you? Sure. Why not. He was afraid he had Uncle Sam to thank for that too. Surprising the type of things a man could pick up in the army. It takes a wire and some wiggling. As occasionally easy as stereotypes made it seem, just like hotwiring a car was. Again, with a lot of instinct and practice --- not unlike when fucking, the understanding of how to move the tip and where --- and the handle comes undone, limp under his fingers. And there he is, in the sanctuary of all desire existing between walls, hallways and a roof.

Last time Terry's been here, he's let himself into your bedroom.

Discovering a drawer of underwear.

He's wanted to go back ever since. Needed to actually.

Your corridors and hallways already known, he makes an B-line for the chamber where you slept (confirmed and re-confirmed by all the nights spent gazing into your windows during the evenings and at night) opening and closing the door behind him even though there was nobody there and leaning on its surface for a second, closing his eyes, his head falling back, taking in the atmosphere for a moment, feeling a bit like a perverted schoolgirl entirely too exhilarated by the prospect of stealing and reading someone's diary. Sadly, if you had one of those, he was yet to find it and browse through himself and if it existed, he undoubtedly would sooner rather than later.

Discover all your thoughts.

Every feeling you were willing to relay into written words.

The commode of all his interests stands there, in the corner, beckoning him like a siren's call and he wastes no time to slide the top drawer open, uncovering the treasure inside; a neatly stacked pile of white, cotton, soft, fragrant, sweet smelling and ----"Perfect."- He purrs to himself, feeling his eyes dart left and right, transfixed by what he re-discovered, fascinated like it was the very first time, not even mustering the time to finish his own train of thoughts, observing your underwear, fingers sliding inside of one the panties, picking it up and lifting it up to his nose, inhaling the scent. The detergent you used wasn't anything otherworldly where the price was concerned, he could tell, but it egged him on, stuck inside of his senses, like something that infected his mind, refusing to leave. You deserved to have your things rummaged through for that alone. For not wanting to leave his brain. The price you paid for that sort of thing. Like something like that could ever really be for free. -"Freshly dried, huh."- Terry mutters once he had his fill of sniffing, smiling, thumb caressing the fabric fondly, looking at it, really looking at it. The tiny, almost seamless pale pattern. How lucky that cheap, nothing, pathetic bit of cotton must've been to get so close to you and be on you all day. Terry wasn't certain if he wanted to rip it to shreds or make a shrine out of it.

You never noticed the last time he's gone through your stuff.

Or the occasion before that.

In fact, Terry was always so careful never to leave a trace of himself behind, going for total subterfuge. Was it so wrong, though? If he wanted to leave something behind after all? A little souvenir from an anonymous admirer? Even though, admittedly, even the vague thought you'd mistakenly imagine anyone other than him as your ingenue wounded him to the point of irrational, vengeful rage. Maybe he should've simply carved his first and last name into your front door, so there would be no mistake who he was, regardless of how stupid, impractical and compromising that was. He banishes the thought.

For now.

He had this re-occurring fantasy of masturbating with your unmentionables, as Margaret so amusingly called such things, and he decides to do just that, right against the commode, leaning against it with the tent of crotch for friction, pushing against the hard wooden surface, finding some satisfaction that tomorrow or even today, when you returned, you'd cluelessly undress right here where he stood and it would've been almost as if you and him were together --- feeling his lips part as he unzipped his trousers with one free hand, your undergarments caught between his index finger and thumb pushed inside the tight slit, over his own briefs, rubbed back and forth, dryly. He didn't need to work himself too much. Terry was already hard before he even broke into the place, dripping pre-cum into his own fist at this point. It never failed to amuse him how turned on he was every time he visited your home behind your back. It was almost like an aphrodisiac that effortlessly got him off. Now, he'd just wipe himself off in your underwear, neatly fold them the way he found them after he was done and leave you questioning why on earth they were in a state like that...so...crusty and stained. He wants to cackle. Maybe you'd get repulsed, thinking you failed to wash them properly, getting sloppy with the maintenance of them. Maybe you'd touch them in shock, recoiling in confusion and a part of you would've still been touching a part of him whether you liked it or not. Whether you realized it or not. But, Terry would realize and that was enough. -"Yes."- He coos at the thought, throwing his head back, feeling his lips coil into a smile, pleasure bubbling in his gut. He decides to go faster, more vigorously, flying into a run against the piece of furniture.

His eyes snap open --- his panic almost instantaneous.

Terry hears well-known footsteps at the pavement leading up to the front door. The fuck!? Whenever you'd leave grocery shopping it would take you approximately half an hour to get there and back on foot, at a pace of a leisurely stroll. It wasn't even ten minutes. Why were you back so soon!? He hears you halting at the front entrance in a minute of some panic of your own once, just as he knew you would, you realize the door wasn't locked. Maybe you returned because the paranoia was already taking root and you grew into the habit of re-tracing your own steps and returning to check on your own failures to secure the premises, never even realizing --- oh, never even realizing it was all his doing. So, if you came back prematurely, really, it was on him. Terry holds his breath, zipper down, his underwear pushed inside of his trousers along with his hand, he doesn't move, holding his own cock with his fist, teeth gritted together to avoid making a sound. You wouldn't come into this room, his instincts tell him. You'd merely fidget around, find the keys, lock the doors, correcting a mistaken you haven't even really made and leave once more. He listens, turning his head towards the door, his heart thumping. One second. Two. Three. Five. The door handle never moves. Your footsteps fade. The front door slams shut. Keyhole clicks and he's locked inside of your house, watching your back as you rushed down the sidewalk in a hurry through the lowered bedroom shutter.

Terry lets go of his cock, cumming all over the palm of his hand.

On the leather sleeve of his jacket.

Holding back from groaning, but still doing it, muffled and feral.

Fuck --- close call. Too close.

Terry breathes, in and out, in and out, giving himself a second of reprieve. Ironically, if anything, the adrenaline rush serves to renew the yearning and he bites into his lower lip, holding back a giggle. The thought of you actually walking in, catching him...He puts the underwear with a moist patch back where he's found it, smoothening the fabric out, diligently, shutting the drawer, looking around the bedroom for a while, taking in as many details as he could for a short notice, deciding he wanted to dream of this place tonight and everything he'd do with you in it, holding up his hand still wet, slightly unsure what to do with it, eyes falling on your pillow. Ah, yes. Another thing you deserve for nearly walking in on him and interrupting his otherwise perfect calculations of your schedule. Terry feels himself smile so wide his cheeks ached as he wiped his fingers off on the clean linen with two swift moves. Perfect. Now, you'd set your head down and sleep on pillowcases smelling like him and you wouldn't even know it, surrounded with more and more stuff marked with him with each passing day until you'd become eclipsed with nothing but him, as you should be.

The satisfaction in him couldn't be described with words when he decided be extra agile and show himself out through the kitchen window.

[minniiaa]

(long ass post just me rambling about a new lawlu fic idea. t/w for discussion of addiction and sui attempt. feel free to keep on scrolling.)

Writing a new modern au about Law becoming an addict after Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo died in an accident coming to pick him up. It's inevitably going to be a healing LuLaw story, Luffy finding him in his apartment by sheer luck after he decided to end his life on the one-year anniversary of their deaths. Luffy is in his hospital room when he wakes up, a cute stranger who he discovers is his neighbor and also a firefighter. Luffy declares that he's going to be his friend which makes no sense to Law, why would a guy like him with such a good life want to be friends with a pathetic junkie freak who just tried to off himself? What he doesn't know is that Luffy knows what it's like to lose the most important people to you, to feel so alone and not know how you're going to go on. Only Luffy did go on. He built a new family for himself, a home, and a life where he could be happy and he wants Law to do the same.

The first chapter was one of the darker, more emotional things I've written, detailing Law's relationship with death and how he is convinced everyone he ever cares for will die because they all have died. He falls into despair and tries to die once but can't go through with it. He turns to alcohol, finding that it numbed the voices in his head that screamed at him every waking moment. So the decline begins, Law becoming a street rat alcoholic who goes to grimy bars, going home with any guy whose willing to fuck him until it hurts, the pain overwhelming everything in his head. Alcohol turns to club drugs which turn to opiates and he's just a shell of a human at this point.

I think there's beauty in the rise from your lowest low to your highest high (not a drug high, just happiness). Law needs a reason to stay. Luffy becomes that reason, someone who understands him, who he almost hates in a way because he was able to pull himself out of the trenches when Law couldn't. Law decides to get clean once he wakes up in the hospital, deciding to give life one last try before he calls it quits for good. Luffy declares he's going to be there for him every step of the way and after some thought, Law lets him only because he knows can't be alone anymore. He'll use Luffy as a crutch he clearly needs until he's fulfilled his purpose, and then he'll just dispose of him.

He's shocked to find that Luffy is just a good person, unlike anyone he's ever encountered. Sure, he's pretty brutally honest, almost chastising Law for not even trying to move on but he's totally right, Law never did try, he just gave up. He has this way of somehow just knowing how Law is feeling even without him saying a word. He brings him gifts in few days he's in the hospital, cleans his apartment that had fallen into an absolute shit hole while Law was an addict, and when Law comes home he basically just moves in even though he only lives down the hall. He doesn't want Law to be alone, to fall back into his addiction. He introduces him to his friends and is active in his treatment even going to his first NA meeting with him so he doesn't have to go by himself.

He's exactly Law's type and he's maddeningly charming, openly affectionate and flirtatious right off the bat which just confuses Law. He convinces himself that it's just the kind of person Luffy is, some people are just like that but there's no way he's actually attracted to him... right? He's still down horrendous for him from the very start though, and Luffy doesn't make this any better, sending him shirtless pictures of him and little flirty messages like 'wish you were here ;)'. (Law's a degen and Luffy is totally aware of what he's doing but he just likes Law and wants him to know it).

Their strange friendship grows and evolves while Law deals with the harsh reality of what it means for him to be sober. One day Luffy kisses him, things get intense and Law is fucking TERRIFIED. He can't care about someone again, can't watch them die like everyone else and know it's all his fault. He pushes Luffy away but he won't go. He loves Law and he's going to do anything it takes to make sure Law accepts that fucking love. He does, of course. He's wanted this from the beginning but he was just too scared of what it would mean to love someone for the first time, to admit it aloud. Law overcomes his addiction, begins to process his losses, and Luffy becomes his Reason to Stay.

(If you don't care about my personal shit feel free to stop here and enjoy this random summary headcanon thing I unintentionally wrote. This is just this week's episode of me oversharing but maybe it'll help someone who has been in similar situations idk.) I decided to write this story for purely personal reasons. About 7 years ago the person I was dating was an addict and although I did everything I could to try and get them the help they desperately needed after I saved them from overdosing the first time, but it wasn't enough and they ended up dying a few months later. I was also doing various drugs at the time, though only recreationally, and was thankfully able to stop after seeing what it did to the people around me. However, this death fucked me up and I blamed myself to the point it drove me to become an alcoholic just to help cope with the pain. Things are much better now and it took many years but I've finally been able to process everything. Writing is therapeutic for me and I always wanted to write a story about addiction and loss but I wasn't sure how it would do it. I guess I found it now?

At the end of the day, I wasn't enough of a reason for that person to stay but what if there was a world where someone was? I wanted to explore that concept with my favorite ship and somehow this beast was created in my fucked up little head. I'm looking forward to the very fulfilling and heart-warming journey of Law healing and falling in love with our favorite loyal puppy dog Luffy :)

[sock-pot]

Man I just reread that one medieval/fantasy Scott the Woz fic on AO3 and AKSJAKJSJAKA now I have so many thoughts about my own fantasy au and I just have to share. INFO BLAST GO:

Scott, the Virgin King. A kind, if troubled, ruler whose weekly speeches of games and plays from far off lands draw huge crowds outside the palace. Although loved by the commoners, there is tension among the nobles as he has shown no interest in finding a betrothed, much less an heir. Rumours have begun to spread among his detractors as to why his eyes don’t linger on even the fairest of maidens…

Rex, Jeb, Jerry, The Employee, and Terry are under the cut. I don’t want to clog up the Woz tag with a big ass text block y’know?

Rex, the Kings Bodyguard. He is incredibly passionate about following the rules. Someone has to be if the King keeps trying to sneak out of royal duties to mingle with commoners in the town square. There have been multiple times he’s had to practically drag Scott to important meetings with ambassadors and try not to giggle at him staring daggers through lengthy trade speeches and other boring official talks. As much as Rex sometimes bickers with him over menial things, him and Scott are very close, having grown up alongside each other in the palace walls. In a life or death situation he would fight honourably for the life of not only his king, but his friend as well. Maybe sometimes Rex will let Scott leave the castle. As long as he tags along to keep an eye on him.

Jeb, the Royal Messenger. Wether it be delivering news within the palace or bringing the thoughts of the townspeople to the court, he always has something to share. His messenger bag is always packed full of parchment rolls, each scrawled with news from both the town and the lands beyond. Because he spends so much time running around the town, he’s gotten to know each nook and cranny like the back of his hand. This comes in handy when the King and his bodyguard decide to skip out on their duties and need an alleyway to slip into to avoid the eyes of the public. Jeb is surprisingly close to Scott despite just being a messenger, as the King enjoys getting word of new exotic games he can use to entertain the public, and Jeb is happy to deliver, even sometimes relaying extra gold to travellers in the shipyard willing to teach him of their land’s own games and customs.

Jerry, one of the King’s Royal Advisors. Nobody is really sure why he still holds this position. The man has long since gone mad, and his advice is mostly nonsensical, not to mention the copious amount of liquor he drinks is troubling. Other nobles suspect he is kept around to entertain the King, much like a Jester in some other court. In reality he’s been a close friend to the King for a while now, and Scott couldn’t imagine throwing a friend out of his palace just because he sometimes gives bad advice. Plus, he’s the only one who speaks to the King as if he has no regard for his status, and sometimes that’s refreshing.

The Employee, a common goods vendor. Him and his twin brother were left on a doorstep as newborns, and the couple that took them in never bothered to name them. They were put to work as soon as they could walk, and grew up working in their adoptive family’s two booths in the town square. While his brother worked in the butcher’s booth across the way, he worked in a general store, trading and mending clothing and selling trinkets and curiosities traded to him over the years. His brother was killed a few years back. He was jumped by thieves while making a delivery to the palace one night. They stabbed him and looted his cart, leaving him to bleed out alone in the street. The Employee now keeps a distance from the butchers stall where his brother used to work, as he’s not fond of digging up those memories. Despite this misfortune, The Employee keeps a cherry demeanour, preferring to focus on the positives in life. He feels the happiest when his favourite customer visits his stall, though it happens very rarely. This customer hides himself in a dark cloak, although the extravagant blue embroidery on the collar and hem are nothing like the Employee has seen on other commoners…

Terry, the palace Apothecary. He isn’t much for company, usually spending his days alone tending to the plants in the palace greenhouse or bent over journals detailing recipes for herbal remedies and elixirs. Sometimes Jeb will bring him word of new plants discovered in other lands, accompanied with sketches, or even rarely some seeds to plant in the greenhouse for him to observe.

Ok cool. Thank you for listening to my INFO BLAST. Have a good night.

Maybe I’ll think of more characters idk there are still like 2 or 3 more I have ideas for but yeah later sometime

[writingdinosaur]

Let’s Talk Names Pt.1

I had the sudden urge to research the angels and demons that appear in Good Omens. This has nothing to do with the fact that I’m meant to be focusing on Grad School. Leave me alone. This will be long, but some of the stuff I found was pretty cool. Quick disclaimer: I am neither a good scholar nor a good researcher. I found most of this on Wikipedia.

Angels first because, honestly, they were a lot easier. Most of them will have names ending in “el” because etymologicaly, “el” means God. Most of their names have something to do with her.

Michael, for example, means “who is like God?” This is meant to be a rhetorical question as the implied answer is no one. HOWEVER, in Latin it can also be the opposite. Meaning “one who IS like God.” Kind of explains a bit about Michael’s personality, tbh.

Uriel means “God is my flame,” and is described as a smart and scholarly angel.

Sandolphon from s1 was pretty funny as his name can be literally translated into “co-worker.” I thought this was a funny nod to his role in s1, which mostly consisted of following Gabriel around and generally being a freak. BUT! Then I read further. His name is thought to deal with the Book of Revelation. The book in the Bible that deals with… The Second Coming! According to Wikipedia, his name probably refers to his relationship with the Metatron. Not Gabriel. Makes you wonder if he’ll make an appearance in season three…

Speaking of Gabriel, I decided to do this both for his given name and for Jim in case there was anything to that. Surprisingly, there was. Gabriel means “God is my Man,” or perhaps “Man of God.” Straightforward enough. Jim is where it gets a bit more interesting. Jim (short for James, short for Gabriel) can mean a few things, the first perhaps being a bit more well known. James means supplanter. Supplanter meaning to overthrow. Fitting for the Prince of Heaven willing to throw it all away for his love for the Prince of Hell. James can also mean protector (an Angel giving himself up to demons clad in a sparkly white robe comes to mind). The last meaning is “may God protect.”

Saraquel was hard to find. There seems to be a few different names for this Angel, but they all mean “God is my ruler.”

Aziraphale was a name made up by (I believe) Sir. Terry. From what Neil Gaiman has said, I think they came up with something that sounded angelic enough to be an Angel’s name. Intentional or not, however, there are still a few things that can be discussed. There was nothing on Wiki, but after consulting multiple naming websites, Azira can mean “pioneering spirit,” (aka a leader) or “rising star.” Either one fits with his upcoming arc. Rising star hits a little harder, though…. Perhaps more importantly, however. His name does not end in “el.” It ends in “le.” Close to angelic, but not quite. Very fitting for our grey shaded angel.

Time for the elephant in the room: Let’s talk Metatron (I didn’t forget Muriel. We’re saving the best for last). The etymology of the Metatron’s name is highly debated. One theory is that Metatron comes from a Greek word meaning “co-occupant of the throne.” …What?! The throne here is obviously referring to heaven, but this calls into question WHY HE IS CO-OCCUPYING?! Another theory is that Metatron comes from a Latin word meaning “forerunner.” Forerunner means (wait for it) “one who announces the coming of another.” Um… HELLO?! It’s fine I’m fine. Either of these are obviously VERY fitting and I can’t wait to see what Neil has in store for us.

Last but not least. Muriel. I’m warning you now, there isn’t much here. What is here is a FUCKING ROLLER COASTER! Boring part first, Muriel comes from myrrh. Yes, the myrrh that was gifted by the wise men to Baby Jesus. Now I’m going to tell you EXACTLY what else it says about them.

First of all, Muriel is a Dominion. They tell Crowley that they cannot access Gabriel’s trial because “you have to be a throne, a DOMINION, or above.” Now, is it possible that Neil picked an Angel at random to fill in this position? Yes. But considering he kept the positions of the other Angels, why would Muriel’s be changed? Second, and perhaps the scariest, Muriel, in biblical lore, becomes the ANGEL OF DEATH. I… Neil. Neil if you hurt them…. Also, perhaps Muriel is promoted to Dominion when they BECOME the Angel of Death?

Anyway, it’s 1 am now. I’ll do part 2 tomorrow. I’m new to long posts on mobile, so I hope I did this right.

[raayllum]

We see time and time again that Rayla does not value her family / loved ones above her duty (re: what she feels is Right or must be done). It’s why she:

Defects at all in 1x03 even when that means fighting Runaan, who’s been a father to her

Is willing to leave the boys / Callum and initial mission (of which she wanted to redeem her family on) in favour of 1) saving Pyrrah in 2x07 or 3) feeling tethered to the Storm Spire in 3x08 because of that sense of obligation, over her new family

Goes into the Moon Nexus portal in Through the Moon primarily to find Viren. Callum is the one who routinely brings up her parents

Finds some semblance of closure in TTM about her family ( “They’re gone, Callum [...] I have to face it”), but that’s not enough because Viren is still out there, so she leaves Callum by proxy

Had her family within reach and easily could’ve turned Terry over to Claudia for them in 4x09, but we see her consider and steadfastly reject this deal outright: “I’m not making a deal with you.” It is only when her parents would have met a terrible fate by burning in agony that she leaps after them

She’s not like Callum, who will bend to protect his loved ones even if he knows it’s wrong (“Your kind of magic” / “But is it really so wrong?” “Yes!” / Rayla’s reservations about lying to Lujanne vs him being totally fine with it) and she’s not like Claudia, who has the cognitive dissonance to believe that whatever protects their family is the right thing to do (“Soren wait! You’re making a mistake” / “It’s a sign! The dragons are leaving”) but an uncompromisable between. 

This one of the reasons why Rayla actually letting the boys take detours or Callum talk her into things, even if it delays that sense of Rightness, is such an interesting piece of bond development that highlights just how fast and strongly they connect as a pair and as a trio. It’s also one of the things that makes TTM such a gut punch, because on a logical level, Rayla knows she’s weakening herself by going out alone (and thus having a greater chance of failing her mission) because she’s so scared of losing Callum to Viren. It’s one of the first times we see her put him, wholly, truly above what she believes in her heart is necessary for the world, even if he sees it as the opposite. 

Which is also what makes the “You need to kill me” conversation carry so much weight in S4. On the one hand, we know (although what happened to her during the timeskip throws into question) that Rayla is incapable of killing an innocent, which a possessed Callum would definitely fall into. She wasn’t able to kill Marcos who hadn’t done anything to her, so how can she possibly be expected to kill the boy who’s done so much for her? But on the other hand, it’s the possible weight of the world against her heart, harkening back to her oath all the way in 1x01: “My Heart for Xadia.” 

Of course, all this is compounded by the fact that this means Rayla’s value hierarchy is 1) the World, 2) her friends and family, and 3) if not lower, herself, but that’s neither here nor there, for once. 

[mommalosthermind]

How do you block and filter fics with rampant racist micro aggression since that's never tagged properly and the writer will have a white meltdown if they're ever confronted with the fact their fic is racist?

I honestly can’t tell if this was in earnest or if it’s meant to be another Gotcha! Attempt from one of the anti-censorship posts I’ve annoyed people with, so I’m going to assume it’s the first and do my best to answer.

As a white woman, I am definitely not someone who should be speaking on racism, since the systemic issues I deal with are very very different.

Unfortunately, though, your experience with such a fic is going to mirror what I’d imagine is also your experience with most other forms of media which don’t flag that kind of behavior: bail. Back out. Don’t finish the thing that is upsetting you. Possibly, (as I’ve done with authors on issues that hit home for me) take note of who’s behind the thing so you know to avoid them in the future, as they’ve broken that trust.

This is also known as curating your space. I don’t remember if I go on that rant in the other two (three?) posts that seem to have picked up, but that’s the READER’s side of the equation. Find your garden and tend it well, keep it how you like it, because it is for you and you alone.

My job as a writer is to tag to the best of my ability so you know exactly what you’re bringing into your garden. I don’t want to spoil your flowers anymore than I want someone to trample on mine.

Hopefully, as people talk about this more, authors will be more open to tagging/ modifying and/or adding a footnote for things exactly like this.

Micro aggressions are especially difficult, since (again, pulling purely from my lived experiences) getting folk to agree on what ‘counts’ is rough. But as an author— I want to share my stories. That’s the point! If I’ve written it, then I damn well better be self-aware enough to tag it, and be willing to ADD TAGS so I’m not breaking trust with the people I’m trying to give nice things to. Hopefully that makes sense?

I’m gonna say that again since I feel it needs it: if you’re comfortable enough to write the Real World problem happening, you’re fully capable of being able to recognize why someone might like the warning. Be kind. Tags only work if you use them.

On AO3, I believe they recently made it possible to block an author entirely, so they no longer show up in the results for your searches.

I’ve run across exactly one author I’d have blocked if it was possible at the time, because he refused to add tags to a story that… really needed tags. And, going through the comments in later chapters, dozens of people have asked him to update tags. He claims that doing so will ‘ruin the story’ despite the graphic raped-to-death-then-magically-revived bit having literally nothing to do with the plot at all. Instead, it comes out of literally nowhere in an otherwise really well written tale, and was deeply deeply upsetting to the point that his response to my first chapter squee was “yeah, tell me if you still like it after chapter X”. (Unfortunately i am a very fast reader and had already gotten that far and bailed immediately. Dude if you KNOW it’s THAT upsetting to so many people ADD THE TAG.)

I’ll never read anything he’s written again, just like I refuse to read anything by JKR ( awful human) or Terry Goodkind (I can’t stand how he handles his female characters. At all.)

Obviously these two examples are not identical, but it’s the main comparison I have on hand.

This isn’t meant to sound like I’m belittling or downplaying that concern at all. But until people get better at tagging—and I really wish traditional books and other media would ALSO tag, because I’m very very tired of running into Specific Things without any fucking warning— you have to protect yourself and your happy place by putting up a fence, and booting unsavory things right back over it.

—side note: for those worried about spoiling the plot you can…skip the tags... just know you’re choosing to walk in blind. OR! And I wish i could figure it out—you can add! A hyperlink! That takes you to the footnote at the BOTTOM to add things that deserve a warning but might be spoilers! There’s even a tag for that! ‘More tags in notes!’ These are good and useful things! Use them so your readers can better curate their spaces!—

The system isn’t perfect by any means. There are a million ways to improve, and we’re trying! But please, please y’all use the damn tags because right now it’s the only system we’ve got. Take care of each other.

[anna-neko]

cannot stop thinking about a few things from last few eps.... this been marinating in there all night

Intent is a funny thing, ya know? The collar may say "blast those fools except Scary" but clearly Mr Stampler meant the order as "kill those meddling little boys" *cough* that panicked "don't let me kill you...."*cough* fuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Willy doesn't know Scary had a very traumatic experience earlier and has been disassociating as Terri for a bit. He doesn't know (weeeeeell, perhaps suspects. He never was too too trusting to begin with) that while she was separated from him for a few days, his control on her has weakened a touch. If she was so easily willing to murder the others at Rebecca's house just a few days ago, surely she won't mind it right now. Of course he is nice at first contact, keeping up the friendly charade as long as it suits him

but.... still.... guns. The kid-dads are on Earth with guns. The second Terry jr sees them float in he starts SHOOTING A GUN Not cast something. Not wait for them to land, get close to lead Scary away and oooh noes, the boys have been sniped by a mysterious assassin while offscreen! ...etc etc etc No, he shoots on sight. Willy absolutely set up the pieces in such a way that he gets what he wants & she wouldn't know ~ have no reason to suspect ~ she been played

Couldn't just write plainly "murder anyone w/ her" on those collars, not when there was a chance she may get close enuff to read it. noooope. "blast" or "stop all of them" could mean anything, plausible deniability y0! Scary needs to clearly see the weapons in this scenario, watch her [former?] team-mates be shot by those she knows. Bonus points if by stepdad - person she dislikes the most. But any of the kid-dads landing the final blow leads to exact same results.

She will end up alone.

Alone & isolated from her peers, toxic angst swelling inside by the second, zero doubts of Willy being her one and only true friend

but also - speaking of guns None of us question the sniper is Grant. Oh, we absolutely claw at the walls and wail in despair as it happens, but .... its fitting, isn't it? Poor lil Grant Wilson, the broken kiddo who was very much into shooter games. Of course he'd be the one to pull the trigger ("I'm up bad and broken, and wrong, and villain person. And it's important to me that you... I can't pass that on to you, okay? You can't be anything like me. So you gotta promise, don't ever kill anybody. Ever")

but hang on.... ALL the kid-dads have guns at this time. And why not Lark, who clearly is just as much about the guns. He was only giving one to his nephew literally at start of ep1! oooh right.. Lark comes prepackaged with Sparrow and the lvl of bitter betrayal at having him be the shooter just isn't the same . He already unleashed literal End of the World himself, the element of surprise won't work twice Terry jr could only fall by Grant's bullet.

______________ and while am spreading psychic damage out here - pray Scary herself never figures out she is partially responsible for that "kill" order How you may ask? weeeeeeeell *steeples fingers* think back a few eps and lets add up a few facts, shall we? Willy has been manipulating Scary for a while now, but he never actively tried to kill the others (even after separating them RE: Tony Pepperoni incident) Taylor's beheading was carefully done. Intensely shocking & upsetting, but non-lethal. Ever wonder why?

Sure, a group would have an easier time at getting all the anchors, but she's been more powerful than them for quite a while now; it is no longer as dangerous for her to go out there alone. But he didn't outright murder them..... because home & Earth dimensions hopping!!

the "amigara falls" door needed all 4 teens ~ alive and well as it were ~ to be able to travel between Earth & Forgotten Realms! Recall how furious he was with her when she sent that selfie of having "killed" them (you're fucking stupid for killing them because now we have to find another way into Faerune or Earth, I guess)

But now all anchors are taken care of, she has so conveniently just appeared right next to his other "travel keys" (collared kid-dads).... nobody else is as useful as this pathetic lil goth girl who's been dutifully accumulating power (for him to later suck outta her like a gusher, and throw away the empty shell)

./.....this has been a 6am brainrot......

[bi-lavelent]

Lone Wolf (Quinn Fabray x Fem-Reader part 7)

Warning: Fluff, Angst, Cussing, Bullying, Smut

We were all sat in the auditorium. Everybody except for me was watching Sue and Mr.Schue fight. I needed to talk to Sue after practice she needed to take the glee club down and I was ready to help. You see since the other day Quinn still has not talked to me. I overheard that she giving the baby to Terry. This highschool had never been this dramatic til now. It may or may have not also been the fact that I haven’t gotten layed recently. With glee I didn’t have time to go Cruising lately so I had to stay on home turf. Which wouldn’t had been an issue my freshman year when I was I had more confidence or any of the other years when there was ladies willing to do a little lady on top of lady stuff. But instead I’ve had to use my message gun and my fingers. It’s not the same I understand why Sue is always angry. I have gone full out against the glee club not only due to me not having friends except for the freshman. I’ve got nothing Santana won’t even flirt with me anymore. Which she started freshman year before all this Glee club shit. Sue had decided to turn the minorities against the others. As the meeting ended I ran up to Sue

“Hay sue” I said

“Yes Y/N” Sue said

“Can we talk in you office” I asked

“Sure” Sue said

As we both walked to her office together

“I can help you destroy Glee club. But you have to promise me two things one you won’t get kick Quinn off the Cheerios and two you’ll protect me if they come after me.” I said

“What do you got?” Sue asked

“I got things that will tear each of them apart. I’m tired of them bashing kids with special needs.” I told her.

The next day, I was sitting in the choir room as everybody entered. As Sue called out the names for her special club. Called Sues Special kids

“K just take the football players and your Cheerios” Mr.Schue said

“K when you hear your name cross over to my side of the black shiny thing.” Sue said

“That’s called the piano Sue.” Schue said

“Santana, Wheels, Gay kid, Asian, other Asian, Arthea, Shaft and Y/n” Sue said

As I was sitting in the glee room waiting for sue Santana came in.

“Hey” I said

“Don’t talk to me” Santana said

“Look I know we were never friends. But we at-least talked. We were becoming friends.” I said

“Okay than what’s going on with you and Puck.” She said

“Nothings going on I’m not flirting with him I’m mad at him. He got Quinn kicked off the Cheerios cause he blabbed to coach Sue about her pregnancy.” I said

“Why would he care? Why would either of you care?” she asked

“Because Finn isn’t the father he is she felt shitty about herself and he got her extremely drunk and took advantage of her. Oh yeah all of this was while you two were together.” I said

“Okay that does not answer why you’re helping Quinn.” She said

“What I’m about to tell you only two people in this school know. Sue and Quinn and know you. Freshman year I went worlds on the schools boxing team I was dating a Lacrosse, football player who was a senior. I got pregnant 6 months before school ended. The dad left for college I have never seen him since I then had the baby all alone no one was there for me. Because I had pushed everyone I cared about away. My daughter lives on a farm in Kansas. It was an open adoption so she can find me when she turns 18. But that’s why helping Quinn I was Quinn. I was popular I wasn’t a cheerleader I’m not hot or sexy enough to be one. But I was popular I lost everything so since Puck told Sue I’ve been trying everything to save Quinn’s reputation at this school. I even agreed to help you guys destroy Glee club. I care okay.” I said

“Wait that’s actually really nice.” Santana said “Wait do you think I’m hot?”

“Maybe I guess you will never know” I said

“Look When Sue told me to take glee club down. She also said that if I needed to get credit for a source to take you guys down too.” I said

“Of course she did” she said

“I really like you guys, you’re nice to my sister. I’m glad she has you guys as friends.” I said

“Thanks your not to bad yourself and hey I won’t get offended when you come at us. You’re actually kinda nice. This doesn't make us friends though” She said

“Oh trust me we will be friends one day.” I said

“Okay when pigs fly.” She said

As everyone else came in including sue went to sit next to each other she sprawled out on two chairs her head was on my feet as I was also sprawled out on two chairs.

Me and Santana sat up and danced together and sang along to song that Sue had chosen. What apparently connected to us being minorities.

The next day in glee we all were sat in there singing rid with me

Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? (Come on, now)

If you want to go and take a ride with me We 3-wheeling in the fo' with the gold D's Oh, why do I live this way? (Hey, must be the money) If you wanna go and get high with me Smoke a L in the back of the Benz-E Oh, why must I feel this way? (Hey, must be the money)

In the club on the late night, feeling right Looking, trying to spot something real nice Looking for a little shorty I noticed so that I can take home (I can take home) She can be 18 (18) with an attitude Or 19, kinda snotty, acting real rude But as long as you a thicky-thicky-thick girl You know that it's on (you know that it's on)

I peep something coming towards me on the dance floor Sexy and real slow Saying she was peeping and I dig the last video "So when Nelly, can we go?" How could I tell her no? Her measurements were 36-25-34 "I like the way you brush your hair And I like those stylish clothes you wear I like the way the light hit the ice and glare And I can see you, boo, from way over there"

If you want to go and take a ride with me We 3-wheeling in the fo' with the gold D's Oh, why do I live this way? (Hey, must be the money) If you wanna go and get high with me Smoke a L in the back of the Benz-E Oh, why must I feel this way? (Hey, must be the money)

Face and body Frontenac, don't know how to act Without no vouchers on her boots she's bringing nothing back You should feel the impact, shop on plastic When the sky's the limit and them haters can't get past that Watch me as I gas that 4 dot 6 Range Watch the candy paint change, every time I switch lanes It feel strange now Making a living off my brain, instead of 'caine now I got the title from my momma, put the whip in my own name now Damn, shit done changed now Running credit checks with no shame now I feel the fame now (come on), I can't complain now (no more) Shit, I'm the mayne now, in and out my own town I'm getting pages out of New Jersey from Courtney B Telling me about a party up in NYC And can I make it? Damn right, I be on the next flight Paying cash, first class, sitting next to Vanna White, c'mon

If you want to go and take a ride with me We 3-wheeling in the fo' with the gold D's Oh, why do I live this way? (Hey, must be the money) If you wanna go and get high with me Smoke a L in the back of the Benz-E Oh, why must I feel this way? (Hey, must be the money)

If you want to go and take a ride with me We 3-wheeling in the fo' with the gold D's Oh, why do I live this way? (Hey, must be the money) If you wanna go and get high with me Smoke a L in the back of the Benz-E Oh, why must I feel this way? (Hey, must be the money)

Check, check, yo, I know something you don't know And I've got something to tell ya You won't believe how many people straight doubted the flow Most said that I was a failure But now the same motherfuckers asking me for dough And I'm yelling, "I can't help ya" "But Nelly can we get tickets to the next show?" Hell no (what's witchyou?), you for real?

Hey yo, now that I'm a fly guy, and I fly high Niggas want to know why, why I fly by But yo, it's all good, Range Rover all wood Do me like you should, fuck me good, suck me good We be them stud niggas, 'wishing you was' niggas Popping like we drug dealers, sipping Crissy, bubb' macking Honey in the club, me in the Benz Icy grip, telling me to leave with you and your friends

So if shorty wanna knock, we knocking to this And if shorty wanna rock, we rocking to this And if shorty wanna pop, we popping the Crist' Shorty wanna see the ice, then I ice the wrist City talk, Nelly listen, Nelly talk, city listen When I fuck fly bitches, when I walk pay attention See the ice and the glist', niggas staring, know they diss Honies looking all "They wish, " come on boo, gimme kiss, c'mon

If you want to go and take a ride with me We 3-wheeling in the fo' with the gold D's Oh, why do I live this way? (Hey, must be the money) If you wanna go and get high with me Smoke a L in the back of the Benz-E Oh, why must I feel this way? (Hey, must be the money)

If you want to go and take a ride with me We 3-wheeling in the fo' with the gold D's Oh, why do I live this way? (Hey, must be the money) If you wanna go and get high with me Smoke a L in the back of the Benz-E Oh, why must I feel this way? (Hey, must be the money)

Hey, must be the money Hey, must be the money Hey, must be the money Must be the money

If you want to go and take a ride with me We 3-wheeling in the fo' with the gold D's Oh, why do I live this way? (Hey, must be the money) If you wanna go and get high with me Smoke a L in the back of the Benz-E Oh, why must I feel this-

After the song ended

Rachel said “I miss us all being together”

“I hope we don’t get in trouble for our covert jam session” Artie said

we all laughed

“If sue catches us mingling we’re cooked. She told me if I even talked to one of Mr.Schues kid that she would shave my head and I just can’t rock that look. Even Justin Timberlake is growing his frow back.” Kurt said

“Well we gotta go you guys Mrs.Sylvester is expecting us in ten minutes. In the dance studio.” Mercedes said

I started to walk down and waited for Santana to finish her hug with Brittnay.

we all said bye and left

“Bye white people” Artie said

“hey what are you guys doing here” Mr.Schue said

“oh we’re just stopping bye to say hello.” Tina said

“Hey at-least I still get you Freshman” I said after we had left

“Hey what minority are you?” Matt asked

“yeah” everyone said

“I’ll tell you guys just not right now okay. Let’s go get to Sue before she yells at us for being late.” I said

I wrapped my arms around Mercedes and Kurt shoulders as we walked to the classroom.

Two days later in glee club. We all got sat down after Mr.Schue

“You’ll all minorities cause your in the glee club now there’s only 14 of you so it doesn’t matter that Rachel is Jewish or that Finn is” Mr.schue said

“unable to tell my rights from my lefts” Finn said

we all laugh

“or that Santana is Latina or that Quinn is” Mr. Schue says

“pregnant” Sue said

“Sorry Q it will be all over the blogosphere this afternoon. Now everybody knows. Including me.” Sue said

I meet Jacob leaving school. “Jacob no I don’t care what Sue made you do. I told you not to run that story. Hell Rachael even gave you her underwear. I gave you everything you wanted. One day you’re going to have to realize that the things you write can destroy peoples lives. Your not a journalists Jacob you’re a nerd who’s a bully. You just ruined Quinn’s life and she needs friends right now so I’m not gonna hurt you. But if you ever come after someone in Glee again and destroy their life I will burn your house down and kill you. Do you understand me.” I asked

“yes can I go know” he asked running off

[taughtdefense]

after his near death experience in between 4x08 & 4x09, ethan struggles with finding a sense of normalcy, & finding healthier ways to deal with his trauma. despite being a member of miyagi-do, internally-wise, he's essentially constantly thrown off balance throughout s5. he feels like he doesn't "fit anywhere" anymore, & tries to act like everything is okay on the surface level.

i hope you guys are prepared to read everything & have some snacks ready, because this is very long.

part one: ethan & the "Silver Voice"

something that is rather prevalent for his character arc in season 5 is the fact that he starts hearing silver’s voice in his head. this applies to @opponentcompel's silver specifically, or, to a lesser extent, my own version of silver ( npc ). this development is something that started a few days after he was released from the hospital ( timeline wise, he is released at the near end of 5x03, after being in the hospital from "4.08 point 5" until then ). that's approximately a week or two he spent in the hospital recovering, then he jump-started his healing with his powers.

please note that i'm guesstimating that recovery time of a week or two, because there's no way it takes one day for miguel to get to mexico by bus ( which takes maybe like ~7-10 hours irl ), for johnny to realize where miguel took off to, or for robby & johnny to drive down to mexico, find miguel on their own, then drive back to/return to the valley that same day, returning early in the morning. all of that can’t just happen in one/two days, in my opinion.

canon ck timeline /negative.

anyway….

the fact that ethan hears silver's voice in his head is a real occurrence that is found in people who have PTSD.

"Auditory Verbal Hallucinations (AVHs) are commonly associated with psychosis but are also reported in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Hearing voices after the experience of stress has been conceptualized as a dissociative experience."

ethan hearing silver's voice is a trauma response brought on by his PTSD from the event. he can't just ignore the fact that he almost died, alone & terrified for minutes before robby found him. he can’t just ignore the fact that he actually, clinically died two separate times, either. if you’re curious, it was once in the ambulance to the hospital ( he was resuscitated by the paramedic ), then the second time while on the operating room table. these two times are canon, & he is severely psychologically impacted by it, even post season 5.

as i mentioned in this headcanon, ethan confronting silver can be viewed by other people in-universe as a suicide attempt. he was more than willing to let himself die because he thinks he "deserved the punishment".

the development of his AVH is piled on top of his paranoid anxiety/personality disorder… which forms after the same event, too, but it should be noted the voice of silver doesn't correlate with his PPD. ( an explanation of what PPD is linked here, if you’re curious. please note that the bullet point of "Have persistent suspicions, without justified reason, that their spouses or romantic partners are being unfaithful." DOES NOT apply to ethan. )

he hears the voice of silver in every episode of s5. this is non-negotiable for interactions going forward, & i may mention it once or twice in from this point on. at first, ethan assumes that it's the work of his Creators ( which is semi-true, because they KNOW that he's traumatized ), & tries to push the voice out of his head.

he tries everything he can think of, short of killing "the source" ( silver ), but nothing works. ethan doubts that killing silver would even rid him of the voice. OBVIOUSLY, i wouldn’t have him kill terry, of course for plot reasons. but does he think about it occasionally when the Silver Voice gets bad? yes. but he very heavily internalizes these thoughts throughout s5. he decidedly doesn’t want his friends/family or robby to think he’s mentally slipping. ( even if wade, vanessa & damiana can sort of just Tell. )

part 1.5: the effects of ethan’s near-death experiences on himself & my version(s) of the canon characters/my ocs

ethan tries to pretend like everything is fine around his friends/family, because he doesn’t want them to worry. his efforts of trying to make sure that his friends don’t notice him suffering has the opposite effect, though:

wade & vanessa become increasingly more worried about ethan’s mental state with every s5 episode that passes, practically every scene they're in ( all three of them are in the episodes, trust me ).

his friend group ( my ocs & my versions of the canon ck characters ) start really looking out for ethan because they're worried about his mental, physical & emotional states in a near-constant way. both the adults & teens worry over him. they never want to see him get hospitalized, if they can help it.

they even ask ethan to put a sort of tracking app on his phone, so they can have his location to make sure he isn't hurt somewhere, or someplace where he isn't supposed to be. the group also implements what demetri calls a "buddy system", because that's what it is. it basically means that ethan should never be left to his own devices if out in public, & needs to be "babysat". ethan, because he’s ethan, complains & refers to the buddy system as a prison sentence. he knows they're making sure that he's never put in that life-threatening ever situation again, though. he commends them for that & their efforts in keeping him safe, he doesn’t condemn them.

part two: ethan & coping with his trauma / a tiny blurb: aka "How Did He End Up Here?", & "How Is He Throughout Season 5?"

the "silver voice" ( as i call it ) starts rearing its ugly head if ethan makes a mistake, no matter how small or big it might be. it also comes around if he accidentally hurts one of his friends. this especially applies to the secondary example. whenever ethan starts hearing the silver voice, he will essentially go catatonic & nonverbal in an attempt to cope, or reflexively mentally "fight back" against the voice, assuming its persistent enough in his head while reacting to a specific instance that either just happened, or happened in the past ( "failing" to prevent miguel’s accident at the school, "failing" to realize that robby was going to join ck/not doing "more" to prevent it from happening [even if that is a huge turning point for robby’s character/s4 as a whole, & erasing that won’t work storyline wise] ).

it doesn't matter what day of the week it is, or what time of day. the voice is present enough in ethan’s psyche to impact moments in his life. the silver voice mostly just taunts him & calls more attention to his "failures", like accidentally hurting chase during a friendly sparring match prior to 5x07.

ethan begins to lash out at his friends in s5, especially near the end of the season when the cracks in his mental health start to really show. this cracking unearths a lot of his genuine anger at silver, kreese, & the whole valley-wide karate war as a whole. he’s fed up during season 5. he hadn’t been angry in season 3 like sam was about miguel’s accident, because he’d been TRYING to not let himself get to that point. this is because walker!him in his deadpool universe getting angry = mass destruction of property & mass human casualties, including injuries & loss of life. he was trying to be Better.

( robby getting thrown into juvie by daniel ? VERY different story. he literally moves out of the larusso household without telling anyone, not even sam when it happens, or robby during one of his juvie visits. ethan’s feelings towards daniel switch pretty drastically during s3. there’s a lot of anger & tension towards him, even if he was only trying to help robby get a lighter sentence… but ethan is a teenager, & his friend/crush got put into juvie for an accident, of course he’d feel betrayed by mr. larusso. )

but in s5, his rage is palpable. he's furious over the fact that silver was the "cause" of everything ( for kreese & silver turning the students of cobra kai into miniature versions of themselves, for making them play solider because they're Old Men who can't let go of a 30 year old grudge. robby joining cobra kai, & ethan firsthand witnessing him choose cobra kai, was the main contributing factor to ethan just kind of losing his mind.

another - albeit smaller - factor of ethan finally having Enough of the evil karate senseis terrorizing the Valley & seemingly getting away with it… was stingray's hospitalization the morning after prom. ethan found out that happened unintentionally, when he physically brushed stingray's hand during a visit while stingray was comatose, just after getting beaten. ethan saw his final memory before passing out. he saw that entire stingray & silver scene play out, like he was right next to him, unable to breathe or move.

this enraged mindset only escalates further when daniel is beaten up by silver in season 5, unintentionally, perhaps, semi-paralleling his own run-in with silver. but whereas daniel went to mend a bridge with stingray & found silver, ethan willingly went after silver for both stingray's brutal beating, & the bridges robby's betrayal burned with his miyagi-do ( or eagle fang ) friends. ethan himself included.

but that ^ hc is gonna be expanded on at later date. back to this one...

with this unearthing of ethan’s rage, comes a "sudden" surge of his genuine knowledge/strength in martial arts - whereas prior he'd been pretending to be weak/not as trained in marital arts, despite his legacy status of being wade & vanessa’s son. he stops holding back so much, especially during any fights. whereas someone like emma might attempt to de-escalate the situation verbally, ethan is pretty much ready to throw himself headfirst into battle.

which kind of brings me to my next point.

part three: ethan & co-dependency towards robby throughout season 5, formed as a byproduct of shared/collective trauma ( defined as "experiencing a traumatic event together" )

with ethan nearly dying in the back room of the old cobra kai dojo & robby walking in on that, i genuinely think that ethrobby have shared trauma. not to mention all of the drama/big group fights that happens throughout the show, with the school fight is another big reason why i think they have shared trauma. the show pulls no punches, & for any of them to just walk away without severe impacts on their mental health is very unrealistic. sam’s ptsd storyline throughout s3-s4 was great.

"Strong links between psychotic symptoms, including AVHs (Auditory Verbal Hallucinations), and dissociative experiences have been demonstrated in a number of studies, in both clinical and non-clinical populations (see Moskowitz, Barker-Collo, & Ellson, 2004 for review). Allen, Coyne, and Console (1997) argued that dissociative detachment deprives individuals of “internal and external anchors”."

personally, i interpret "internal & external anchors" as a means to ground oneself to reality, or to "pull" oneself out of a nightmare/PTSD flashback. that is just my own interpretation, though.

during season 5, ethan's quote — unquote "external anchor" is @taughtpain . robby is who grounds him to reality, as well as any thread set post season 5, too. i don't think he'd ever disclose that fact to him, even if he does let him know about the silver voice in his head… or if robby somehow finds out about it on his own. the ‘external anchor’ part is Very Obvious to everyone else in their friend group ( potentially robby himself recognizes this, @mads? ).

as of the posting of this headcanon, i don’t think he’d tell robby or his other partners ( my miguel, my tory or mads’s sam ) about the silver voice, mostly due to internalized fears of rejection/the stigmatization of mental health disorders. he wants to avoid ‘losing’ his fiancés + fiancées at any cost possible.

"The absence of anchors is proposed to increase an individual's sense of feeling disconnected from the world, interpersonal relationships, and within their intrapersonal self, resulting in a sense of confusion and disorientation, and critically, in an impairment in reality-testing."

ethan’s co-dependency towards robby is wildly rooted in the their shared trauma. he loves robby to pieces - he’s not obsessed with him. it is not a stockholm syndrome situation. i want to make that distinction very clear. in practically every shot of season 5 that robby is in, ethan is right next to robby, or in the background someplace, watching over him, or physically holding his hand. he feels compelled to be near him because he is his ‘anchor’ - or someone who tethers him to reality - & his boyfriend. robby makes the silver voice less severe. he’s allowed to be clingy with robby because he saved his life.

"In this way, Moskowitz and Corstens (2007) proposed that for individuals hearing voices when exposed to high levels of stress, AVHs should be conceptualised as dissociative experiences. Similarly, Longden, Madill, and Waterman (2012) proposed that voices could be conceptualised as dissociated or ‘disowned components of the self’, arising from the failure to integrate adverse and traumatic sensory and psychological experiences into the context of the self. Hallucinatory experiences might therefore reflect directly or indirectly dissociated traumatic content (e.g., the voice of an abuser) impinging on conscious awareness (e.g. Anketell et al., 2010), rather than a psychotic symptom."

ethan hears the silver voice a lot. if he was counting the amounts, he’d have surely gone past 10 times per episode, typically not per scene, because that would be too many times to calculate. especially depending on the context of the episode’s plot-line. with 10 episodes per season, that’s ( at the very LEAST ) a minimum of 100 pieces of dialogue the Silver Voice says to ethan. he feels physically sick ( or a little violent ) when silver even looks in his general direction during the sekai taikai qualifying matches in 5x08. he wants to fucking run out of the dojo. he doesn’t, although it’s obvious by his facial expressions he’s uncomfortable.

is that a lot of silver dialogue running around in ethan’s head? yes. i’m fully aware of it. but ethan’s severely traumatized, he’s an eldritch being. he doesn’t know how to properly cope with anything that happened to him in the past, & the Silver Voice isn’t ( mostly ) meant to appear during his happy moments. he’s not really genuinely happy or calm during s5. he starts to get his bloodlust up, the desire for revenge. he can’t just sweep his trauma under the rug.

if ethan is away from robby for a prolonged period of time ( ex: a few weeks for whatever reason ), the silver voice can & does routinely say nasty things to him about everything that happened in between 4x08 & 4x09.

some examples of the voice include, but are not limited to:

the miguel+johnny+robby trip to & back from mexico, because ethan was recovering in the hospital

the miguel+robby+johnny apartment fight because my johnny kept him away intentionally ( something that REALLY pissed him off )

when robby confronts silver with tory, the rest of the ck students & sensei kim present in 5x09.

while ethan doesn’t at all feel ‘insecure’ with his romantic relationship, or doubts his faithfulness ( or anything like that ), the silver voice reminds him that if robby was more like ‘him’… specifically: both real-life silver or kreese, he may have put ethan out of his misery. it’s what his creators firmly believe, so they kind of put that thought in ethan’s head.

in an attempt to completely halt the silver voice from making more of a worse impact on his already somewhat fragile impacted psychological state, ethan feels the need to constantly be surrounded by his friends, family or robby. just being around them will typically lessen the voice, or quiet it completely. i’ll admit, he was clingy before his near death experience, but after? that clinginess becomes a bit amped up in its severity. my muses might make a joke out of it with robby, or sam, or everyone else, but they’re all aware that he’s clearly traumatized - understandably so. his friends are ready to help him out with whatever he needs, whenever he needs it.

by the way, his clinginess doesn’t just extend to robby, even if he’s the main person ethan will naturally gravitate towards. for example, if you see ethan w/ his hand on hawk’s shoulder during 5x09, please don’t call him out on it. he’s anxious enough already, & he will react negatively.

part four: closing thoughts ( aka: how the Silver Voice impacts him throughout post season 5 )

post season 5 & with silver’s arrest + ck takedown, the voice no longer comes around nearly as often. there are moments when he can hear it, & that can be deliberating on ethan. sometimes, he’ll just freeze up, his breathing will get heavy, he’ll have a small panic attack, then calm down enough to continue on with his activities. the nightmares are the worst part: they usually involve seeing robby get hurt, where he’s just out of reach from ethan. but the silver voice is no longer consistently whispering in his ear, like it had been in every episode of season 5. he’s healing… or trying to start healing, anyway.

for season 6, i think that the silver voice will once again become MORE of an issue for ethan. if/when terry gets out of jail because he’s Rich, & starts enacting his revenge on the miyagi-fangs, the silver voice will make its return.

ok, i think that’s everything for now! if you’ve read this far, i thank you from the bottom of my heart! :). i hope this made sense & it wasn’t just me making a fool out of myself! if i think of anything else, there will be a part two to this headcanon… or maybe a part three when season 6 drops. let me know if you have any questions or comments! thanks again for reading!

-bows & exits-

[msfbgraves]

So, Mobverse is a very "Alpha are the top dogs/better without even trying/head of the household" kinda world, am I right? Betas are boring and "regular" and omegas very much lusted over but powerless...or are they? Would you say an omega gains power if their Alpha falls in love with them like Terry did Daniel, or perhaps if they marry well? Maybe not power in a job, but definitely in their home? Like, they have a lot of say in what happens in their house, and are not entirely subservient to the will of an Alpha (unless they want to be of course). Or maybe it just depends on the omega themselves, their Alpha, and their household. Speaking of this sort of thing, does Daniel ever use his charms or his beauty/sweetness/sex to coerce Terry into getting what he wants? From the mundane to something far more significant/mob business. I feel like omegas could have Alphas wrapped around their fingers if they use their charms correctly. We've seen already how Terry falls apart when Daniel makes him pay for what he's done in their marriage. So maybe omegas have more power than suspected...

My baseline for this Alpha/beta/omega world is, what if most omegas truly don't seek power? What if all these gender roles that women are supposed to want and men are not allowed to want, well, what if that really was a very strong, almost inescapable way of relating to the world? Daniel isn't making himself totally subservient to Terry, and Terry is not really trying to put Daniel in his place all the time, but by God, that man just thinks in orders, and it's easy for Daniel to go along with things. That said, he is also trained to be quite forceful for an omega, because of his family ties. His parents couldn't afford any of their pups to go "yeah, OK" as soon as someone told them to do something. And Daniel was the only omega in his house, everyone else was stronger willed by nature, so that's what he got mirrored, and of course he is a boy and for all they could really know, he could have been a head of a household someday. So could omegas gain power? Yes they could, see Amanda. Would they be inclined to wield that power? I'm not writing much about Louie and Anoush for instance because Anoush really is the barefoot and pregnant type. He's quiet where Louie is loud and even when Daniel gets him alone he really thinks most about how to make Louie and his puppies happy. He doesn't want to be involved in too many things outside of the home at all.

Amanda on the other hand would use every trick in the book because she doesn't know what happened to her biology but she doesn't fit that type in the slightest. Daniel does know how to play Terry - it's how and when to ask his permission for things - but sometimes he resists that dynamic, because he can be afraid to go along wth his mate. That's why trust is so important. How can Daniel give in to his softer side if he can't trust Terry to look out for him? So sometimes he doesn't play, and sometimes Terry tries to tone himself down for Daniel's sake, but that is stressful for them both.

And yes, Alphas did put a very strong mark on the overall culture of "Alpha is superior", but that is because they are usually in their own bubble. There's far fewer Alphas at NASA, about a third of the Presidents are beta. Social services barely allows Alphas in the building. Diplomacy? If they want to omegas can rise extremely high there, though most find the environment too stressful. And Daniel's little rocketmouth, nah. Still, omegas could be quite high up in many fields, but they mostly really do not want to. Both Terry and Daniel are quite forceful for their gender. Samantha is a much calmer Alpha than Eli or Yasmin; John Kreese is also much more grounded than Terry.