#he was quite unwell

[ginyia]

Going through some old stuff. Made me sad

[plasma-packin-peep]

Do you guys ever think about this panel. Do you think about how in this moment he realizes he’s about to be killed by the demon and he is SMILING!!!!!!! He’s about to fulfill his one remaining desire, the one he hasn’t even admitted to himself, and it’s all finally going to be over.

Because I’m thinking about it a lot, in fact I actually cannot stop thinking about it

Bonus in case thinking about it made you depressed:

💞💝💕💖💗💕💓💞💝💕💖💗💖YOUR NEW LIFE BEGINS HERE!!💝💞💖💗💕💓💞💝💗💕💖💕💝💞

[starry-bi-sky]

mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.

now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.

He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.

(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)

The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.

The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.

And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.

(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)

The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.

anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

are you really besties if you can't share a joint

[danburys]

POLIN WEEK 2024 DAY 7, POLIN SONGS

She's the rope that holds me Yes, I know she knows me well enough, oh She's the fire that blinds me Leaves my fears behind me for a while, oh

In Need by Gert Taberner

[wowieeitsisa]

I love DrRetro, Pest and Bive as a trio SO MUCH guys

PEST is an individual who clearly doesn’t want to deepen his relationship with the people of the elevator (biggest example being Poob, who tries TOO MUCH). But there’s DrRetro, dialogue between her and Pest imply they are closer, and quite know each other from BEFORE (they is canon facts that DrRetro have busted Pest out of prison!). PEST IS MORE LOOSE WITH THE WAY HE TALKS WITH HER, IT’S SO SPECIAL TO ME

Bive might not be as canon awesomeness as I like to think. But in a moment where Pest needed someone to LISTEN about some ‘dream parasite’ he immediately came to her… he recognized her as an actual detective!!!!!!!!!! Canon information that Bive also doesn’t trust Pest, BUT UPON A COMMON ENEMY THEY GO AGAINST IT TOGETHER RAHAHEHHEGFHG

MY BELOVED DREAM PARASITE INVESTIGATORS TRIO YOU’LL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS 2 ME

[asteria49]

AND ANOTHER THING

I'm imagining it now: Solas in wolf form going absolutely feral (maybe even blighted). I'm talking like completely terrifying. All anger and rage and cruelty as he fights against the gods. He's lost control. He skids to a halt at the woman standing defiantly before him. She lays her hand on his chest and he suddenly reverts to elven form. Out of breath. Tears streaming down his cheeks.

She is his heart.

[respectthepetty]

9 out of 10 times, Blue Boys cause their own problems because they think by sacrificing their happiness, everything will be better for the person they love, when actually EVERYONE suffers from their stupid noble choices!

They are the smartest color-coded boys, yet that make the dumbest fucking decisions!

KANG'S BLUE IS HAUNTING MY BOY!

Yet he keeps hurting my Yellow/Orange Oddity!

EVEN THOUGH HE STILL LOVES HIM!

He is sending him blank letters for goodness sake!

Moo is stuck between the yellow and the blue!

Moo is trying to keep their love alive in the pale green while writing songs about how he still loves Kang even though he left him.

Yet Kang denies he loves Moo surrounded by sterile grey and PINK even though they are still carrying around each other's baby photos!

Kang better not ever let go of my Yellow/Orange Oddity's hand ever again!

Because I have never been more hurt by a show's color coding in all my life.

Neth is the ONLY adult I respect in the house, and Shone, Moo's mom, and Jang can all kick rocks. Kang is also on my shit list.

That dumb Blue Boy better be wearing so much yellow and orange in the finale and standing under so many pink lights that he doesn't even remember his own color.

Moo and I deserve that.

[some-greatreward]

[x]

[copia]

just saw a clip of the miasma chat in rhrn and i was so focused on copia's sad wet eyes (once again) that i almost didn't notice the minutely trembling bottom lip. but it was there i'd swear on his life

[luciferscowgirl]

What if I scream? What if all I ask for is a necklace like this??

What if I ask for THIS EXACT NECKLACE???

[void-and-virtue]

Thinking about Andreil in that bus to Binghamton and just telling each other stories about their lives and Neil talking about the places he’s been while they watch the road pass by

It gets me because. Neil has this absolutely crazy life of being on the run and all around the world and it’s brutal and it’s hurt him so badly, but it was life and that means there was still mundanity to it. Little moments here and there that were maybe a little less overshadowed by the general menace of his situation (even when most of them were) that he can look back on and remember. Routines he used to have as the people he was pretending to be, living where he did, that were his norm for a while even as he was always changing again. There’s such a vulnerability in that, because yes, you can know the overarching points and general idea of him as a runaway, but it’s viscerally different to hear Neil tell it and speak fondly of back alleys and motel rooms he only spent a few days in at most yet still remembers.

He’ll tell Andrew about all the bad stuff, felt the relief of not having to edit it beyond his mom being alive (at this point in time), but in doing so he also talks about all these other things that (unbeknownst to him) are proof of life in the sense that they make him so very tangibly real by adding context and feeling and insight into his life and character. And that’s. That’s somehow more intimate even than sharing the violence.

[eerna]

the way Reeve Carney looks at Eva Noblezada when she nudges him to the floor during AIEK in that one bootleg should be Highly Illegal

[springtrappd]

really one of the most fun distinctions between afton and henry is that afton thinks (or rather, wishes) that he's a good liar while walking around with the most obvious, absolutely vile vibes imaginable (name a time he shows up and everyone doesn't immediately clock him as bad news), while henry -- typically thought of as the Upstanding one -- is the one constantly, constantly keeping secrets, the one whose relationship with the audience is always defined by the betrayal necessary to twist your trust in him as a narrator in the first place, the one whose entire house was rigged with mind-altering devices and who abused them for his delusions so badly his life fell apart. afton uses the illusion discs to make his creations more palatable to the public, and henry uses them to make the world more palatable to himself; afton's deception is in telling you a monster is a friend, and henry's deception is believing him.

[enhanced-operatives-division]

Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble

I will not be brief, all under the cut

To clear some things right off the bat:

No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.

Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality

The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.

This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.

Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:

Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.

All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.

Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).

And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.

At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.

I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.

Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.

This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.

It shifts something between them.

From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.

As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.

Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.

Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.

I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.

I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.

I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.

As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.

I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.

Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great

[cruel-hiraeth]

i will never get over childe’s voice line where he talks about the glorious snow in snezhnaya and how it’s the “perfect backdrop for bloodshed”