#he was on the news for literally 2 seconds but one of my coworkers is already clowning on him and asking for an autograph

[spacemilkbag]

.

[andromeda-galaxy2877]

I Promise...I'll do better.

First write fight attack! @untitled-tmnt-blog 's prompt 2, "New dad Splinter (Rise), very unprepared, but doing the best he can" this is for @tmnt-write-fight !! Y'all know I adore Rise Splinter, I just HAD to pick this one for my first attack. I hope you enjoy!

Quick warning! This fic does depict some issues with body image, due to Splinter's mutation.

-----------------------------

Lou was far out of his depth.

Huddled in a box in a rainy alley, four sleeping little baby turtles— whom of which he was beginning to fear weren’t really just animals anymore— curled in his arms, sheltered from the cold.

Babies.

They were babies.

Not animal young, not little creatures, not pets— babies. Children. Once he’d gotten over his initial panic and the chaotic whirlwind of emotions that had swamped him over being a literal goddamn rat now it hadn’t exactly been difficult to realize how the turtles had changed.

‘...What on earth do I do now?’

Going back into the Hidden City was completely out of the question. Big Mama would have her people crawling around all over the place trying to find him, to force him back into that arena. Not to mention Baron Draxum would certainly be looking for Lou Jitsu and his creations, determined to fulfill their true intention. 

‘Over my dead body.’ Lou’s hands curled over their shells protectively. There was not a chance in hell he would allow these sweet creatures to become monsters. 

So that ruled out the Hidden City, where Lou’s…new appearance would be accepted without second thought. But…the human world wasn’t exactly the best place for that either. He grimaced, pulling his legs closer to his body. His stomach roiled in disgust at the fur he could see poking through, his misshapen feet. ‘What did he DO to me?’

The sight of his monstrous, clawed hands curled around the innocent creatures made his stomach churn. His body still ached from the transformation, his vision was different— blurrier, he had assumed that it was from the panic but it was staying— ‘Why is it staying??’ He was disgusting, a monster, he—

A soft squeak caught his attention, snapping him free from the downward spiral. He looked down, noticing the large spiky turtle gently nuzzling into his hand. Lou’s eyes softened as he gently stroked the baby’s shell, chuckling softly at the ensuing…chirp? Turtles chirp?

‘Right. I…need to figure out what to do.’ Lou swallowed tightly, daunted by the sudden responsibility thrust onto his shoulders. He had never done well with this before, and now to be responsible for other lives? Oh dear god.

Gathering the babies close to his chest, Lou carefully exited the box, hesitating after he had gotten to his feet. Returning to the human world would be impossible now. He was hit with a wave of desolation, pure defeat at that realization. ‘I could never go back to my career like this. Could I even go back at all…? How long has it been since I was taken?’ He didn’t even want to know. ‘My coworkers, my friends…’ He…he would never see them again. They would never accept him like this.

His life was over.

A little warble caused his gaze to lower, the stinging in his eyes signaling the wet drops falling onto the babies’ shells was not only from the rain. The one with orange spots was looking up at him with big eyes, another soft warble escaping its beak. It was then Lou realized it was shivering—- they all were. 

Something solidified in his chest. His life may be over, but theirs had only just begun.

He would not fail them.

Shielding them closer to his chest, Lou made his way towards the back of the alley, searching for something that could act as a better shelter than that worn and torn box. Dumpsters, a pile of garbage bags, a torn up pile of blankets…a manhole.

Lou grimaced, hissing through his teeth. That would be disgusting. But… ‘What choice do I really have anymore?’

Passing the babies into one hand, he gripped the manhole cover in the other and hauled it to the side. The ladder seemed to lead into an endless abyss of darkness, his vision swimming for a moment at the daunting sight. He hesitated, ‘...Is there nothing else I could do?’

One of the turtles— the one with the soft, leathery shell— let out a fearful little chirp. Lou immediately gently stroked its shell, shushing it. “I know, little turtle. I know…don’t be scared.” 

‘That’s MY job!’ He thought with a shaky chuckle. Cradling the four babies in his arm, Lou carefully climbed down the ladder with the other. 

_______________________

A few hours had passed since then. And Lou had never felt so out of place in his entire life.

He had found a large atrium, deciding to make it into their home. Using some old blankets and a damp box he had grabbed from the alley, he formed a bed for the babies. And for a few haunting hours, Lou had sat and contemplated the complete shitstorm his life had become as the babies peacefully slept.

And then a piercing wail broke through that fog.

Lou startled, a sharp gasp of surprise escaping him as his hand flew up to cover his heart. He looked over at the box, eyes wide and heart pounding as he carefully fished out the shrieking turtle. ‘Is it hurt?? What happened?!’

The other babies let out whimpers as their sibling was taken from them, but Lou ignored them as he turned the baby over in his hand. The turtle looked up at him, sniffling, before letting out another cry.

Lou flinched, his ears pinning down to his head to try and block out the noise. He patted the red-striped turtle’s shell soothingly, grimacing “It’s alright, it’s alright little turtle…what are you crying for?”

The baby paused, blinking a few times. Then a series of chirps escaped its beak, rapid and increasing in volume.

Lou winced again, rubbing his head. “My, you are a talkative one, aren’t you…”

‘Something’s wrong. It doesn’t seem to be hurt though— what’s the problem??’ Lou’s concern grew as the wails did in volume, even more so as the other babies joined in. He carefully set the red-striped one back with its siblings, but unfortunately that did not stop the cries.

And then it hit them.

‘They’re hungry! Oh I’m so stupid—’ How had he not thought of that?!

‘...What the hell do turtles eat?’

Well, it was time to find out. Lou hesitated as he looked back down at the babies, their tearful little eyes and wobbling lips striking his heart. His gaze softened as he scooped the babies up with their blanket, holding them to his chest. “Alright…let's go find you turtles some food.” 

All four babies let out a chaotic little series of chirps, the red-striped one patting his little hands against the leathery-shelled one’s face. It immediately grumbled, snapping its teeth at the fingers.

Lou sighed, shaking his head fondly as the spiky one shuffled its way between them, chirping in annoyance before settling against the blanket with a little chirp. The orange spotted one seemed content to just rest beside its siblings, but its expression was twisted. 

Hungry. The poor babies were still hungry.

Lou began making his way out of the atrium, heading back into the tunnels towards the ladder. He grimaced as his bare, spindly claws clicked against the grimy concrete below. He did not want to be doing this, doing any of this— all he wanted was to huddle up in a corner and cry.

But as the soft sniffling of the red-striped turtle started up again, that thought faded away in an instant. All that mattered right now was taking care of these little turtles.

Climbing up the slippery, wet ladder one-handed was a lot easier going up than down. Easier to see where he was going, at least. As he made it halfway— his arm slipped. 

Heart lurching into his throat, Lou instinctively released his cargo to grab the ladder— before he immediately realized what he had done, and nearly dropped himself back down the ladder to catch the bundle.

‘Tell me they’re alright, tell me I didn’t already fail them—’

Lou could barely breathe as he carefully untucked the top of the blanket, counting one, two, three—

Three turtles.

Where was the red-striped one?! Lou’s ears were ringing, chest so painfully tight he could barely even think— and then a squeaky giggle caught his attention. The man turned his head, spotting the missing turtle sitting on the rung right over his head.

Lou blinked rapidly, the relief he felt near-dizzying. “What are you doing up there, you silly daredevil?” He reached a clawed hand out, gently scooping the baby back into his arms, and safely returning it to the blanket with its siblings. “Give me a damn heart attack, why don’t you…”

He finished climbing up the ladder, taking a moment to sit down outside and catch his breath. The rain seemed to have halted, dawn’s light gently painting the alley in a warm orange glow. As his panic slowly ebbed, guilt quickly encroached on where it had once been.

‘Why did I do that?! That was beyond reckless, so stupid— it could have died, they ALL could have!’ Lou swallowed tightly. 

He was not cut out for this.

He had never wanted to be a parent. He blanched at the word, terror striking him. ‘I can’t be a father. I cannot be their father, they need someone better than me.’

But who? He couldn’t just leave them at a pet store and hope for the best, they clearly weren’t normal turtles anymore. It didn’t take a genius to realize that. The human world would never accept them. Leaving them somewhere up here would only be a death sentence, either some small-minded human would hurt them or bring them to a scientific laboratory to be—-

‘NOPE. NOPE. Do NOT follow that line of thought, you JUST calmed down from panic!’ He scolded himself, shaking his head. No, the human world would not be safe.

The Hidden City could be…maybe there was an orphanage that cared for children, maybe he could find them a good family. With parents who were equipped to handle them, ready to raise them, who wouldn’t put them in danger by climbing a wet ladder with them with one hand.

But…

‘If Draxum found them...’ No. No, that was not an option.

The turtles’ only option was him. 

“I’m sorry…” He whispered, curling his knees to his chest as he cradled the babies closer. “You deserve so much more than me.”

The spiky turtle’s face scrunched up, an incoherent soft little murmur-babble leaving his beak as he gently patted Lou’s muzzle.

Lou chuckled wetly, smiling softly as the other little turtles followed the spiky one’s lead. “Thank you, little ones. I…I will do my best to care for you.” ‘I can only hope it will be enough…’ “Now. Let's find you food, shall we?”

The little turtles remained curled up in a little huddle together as he stood, eyes scanning the alley. His vision was still blurry— only further confirming his fear that this was permanent— but he spotted a large enough scrap of fabric to wrap himself in. The man carefully set the babies down as he did so, doing his best to cover every inch of exposed fur and otherwise rat-like traits.

A series of chirps caught his attention; Lou turned, heart leaping as he expected to find the babies in peril again— only to see them all messing with bits of fabric. It seemed it had come from a rainbow t-shirt, but the spiky turtle was hard at work chewing it to pieces, a scrap of red fabric still hanging from its jaws.

Lou chuckled, kneeling down to pull the fabric out of its mouth. “That’s not good food, little— uh…” 

He forgot to name them.

‘I should probably do that.’ They needed good names, something meaningful…he couldn’t think of anything now, with his mind the chaotic spiral it had remained trapped in since he had escaped that wretched lab.

He glanced around between all the babies again, noting the colors they were on— or, in the spiky one’s case, currently chewing on—- ‘WHERE DID IT GET MORE?!’ — Red, Blue, Purple, Orange.

“I’ll call you all that for now. While I think.” He muttered, scooping the little ones back up. Maybe he could take pieces of cloth on the way back, give them each little necktie bandanas? Whatever. That didn’t matter right now; what did matter, was finding these babies something to eat.

…Maybe visiting a pet store wasn’t such a terrible idea. Just to ask what to feed a turtle. That would be his first step. Then he would find said food, get the babies properly fed and bring them back to that atrium…and then…

Then…take it day by day. Raise them as best he could. It was all he could do now.

Lou was far out of his depth.

But maybe…

Maybe everything would be alright in the end.

[kineticallyanywhere]

Is the new dndads season good? I kinda fell off on the second one with the kids since it felt kinda railroady and bogged down.

I ended up writing a lot. tldr I am having a Great time. if you're worried about railroads know that the track was not exactly loose on this season's plot but boy did the players manage to shatter it in like 2 episodes (and Will's ability to keep the party together)

s2 definitely had a LOT going on (emotions run way higher I think mostly because the characters are teens and the stakes are the end of the world) but I don't think it's any more railroaded than s1. frankly these guys operate best with a clear set of instructions to follow and/or mcguffins to collect and then proceed to not follow those instructions but win anyway. which is (sort of??? lol) what's going on in s3

I'm liking season 3 a lot! life has made it harder for me to just sit and draw fanart for it, but Francis might be my favorite. (tied with Trudy) Anthony is super fun as a player. There's a kind of player balance that the daddies have (between silly and serious, sincere and irreverent) that makes them work as a group, and Anthony fits into Will's spot without being Will, if that makes sense? Like he's definitely a different flavor of player and Francis is no Henry/Normal/Hildy/etc, but he plays the heavy emotional hits with Beth, the I'll-die-before-I-break-character with Matt, and the This-is-a-game-and-I-intend-to-Win with Freddie. But instead of Will's hopepunk sincerity he brings a flavor of "no, I'm straight up gonna do a thing that's Wrong" that even Freddie didn't hit with Glenn. And then Will as DM, like Anthony, is more than willing to throw in real-life mechanics that somehow work on a podcast, as well as brutal, horrific, curve balls that make me question life.

s3 is also big on mystery! every s3 PC even has a Twist built in, and you find them all out within about... 5 episodes? but since this season is meant to be shorter honestly that's plenty of time for them to be uncovered and then pulled on for all their worth. Beth's twist for Trudy is a hecking profound take on the human condition (naturally), Anthony's plot for Francis is a sandbox one could sink their teeth into for days that is honestly a bold hecking swing (especially if you're a usamerican living in Now), Freddie's twist for Tony is--

...we don't have time to talk about Tony but take every Glenn antic, crank it up to a hundred, and then literally mad libs his backstory. Nothing I say could prepare you for this man.

and then I have Feelings about Matt's character Kelsey, since she's a teacher and I'm a teacher but I don't know if they're the feelings anyone would expect and I don't wanna write any takes of even moderate temperature I'm literally just here to have a good time but I WILL say she fascinates me and I want to watch a documentary about her interviewing her coworkers and students

[fuck-customers]

I'm still a bit mad about this so here we go-

My place of work closes at 5. These two customers come in like ten till and get a bunch of plants (I work at a plant shop). The one guy wants delivery, fuck me cause delivery orders take a while to do with all the damn paperwork and he has like 15 plants. I tell him the delivery fee, he asks if it's subjective on the amount of plants he gets, I explain it's a flat fee and that it gets delivered by a box truck. He decides he's gonna go back and get more plants. At 4:51. I tell him we close at 5 sharp, he says okay, but we all know that doesn't mean jack shit. He spends like another 10-15 getting more plants.

While he's going back there I start writing up the information for delivery. Plant name, gallon size, quantity, price, ect...

One of my coworkers comes up with the golf cart full of plants. There was probably 15+, atleast. It's like 4:55 now. He says the lady is still shopping in the back and has another cart full of plants. Fuck me again. He says she has a Beep and isn't gonna fit it all in there and is probably gonna do delivery. Double fuck me. I haven't even counted the cash drawer yet. I start writing up this first order. Again, all the details. Everythin.

One other coworker says she already got the prices of plants for the second order (the second cart, on top of the golf cart, the customer brought up) in the register computer. I say she (customer) wants delivery, so she walks away. Just leaves, as I'm writing up the order. Thanks for the fuckin help.

This is where I get more angry than I already was. Manager comes up, asks what's going one. It's past 5 at this point, we're closed. Except we're not cause both these fucks are out in the garden gettin more plants. I explain *both these customers want delivery. She says I can't do two things at once and that we need to 'divide and conquer'. First of all, divide and conquer my ass. I am conquering, no one is helping me. One cowroker even left while I was doing the order write up. I already wrote up all the information for the first order (besides stuff like customer address, I just did the plant details) and I'm pretty much almost done with writing up the next order. Bitch customer number 2 then is up front and loading plants in her car, which no one told me, which the coworker who brought them up who's helping her SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME the customer was taking certain plants. My manager and I have a back and forth, me basically explaining 'I already wrote down the information for BOTH orders'. She then makes me hand her my paper with order 2 on it and she basically disregards my entire work I just did, redoing everythin. I literally had it under control, I wrote down EVERYTHIN (that I could do). Plant names, quantity, prices, gallon size, and it was over 40+ plants in the end. At this point I'm pissed cause it's like 20 past five, neither one of these customers have their order written up officially (I use a scrap paper first then write nice on the order form), I don't want to leave in rush hour traffic and neither customer is upfront actually paying for their order.

Eventually another coworker comes up and helps the other other one who's still slow with doing orders. I give her all my information I wrote up for order 1. Weather or not they actually used it, idfk. I'm just pissed that all my effort went to waste for NOTHING for my manager to tell me I'm doing it 'wrong'. I was *this🤏 close to just clocking out and leaving since clearly no one wants the actual effort I put into these two damn fiasco of orders. Someone else can count the two cash drawers out, if you're gonna disregard my effort then you clearly don't want it and you can get someone else to do it.

This and the other shit that has been piling on, like my coworkers not helping me when we get busy and me feeling singled out for 'not checking customers out fast enough, not being vigilant of the front' makes me want to look for a new job. I'm tired of hustling my ass just to be told I'm slow at it, that I'm not cognizant, that my effort isn't enough. Why they don't get on my coworkers, idk. They do fuck all while the phone is blowing up and I have a line of customers upfront. They literally have 20 minute chats with the manager while I'm gettin slammed with customers or I'm actually doing somethin productive. It's only been six months but I'm already thinking of leaving.

Posted by admin Rodney

[jadededge]

Siren | Christian Yu - Ch. 2

Pairing: Christian x You

Genre: Demon AU, Romance, Smut, slight Horror

Rating: M

Summary: That voice. It started calling me during the darkest moments of the night, like a siren luring me further into the deep and it has continued for weeks.

Wattpad | AO3   (will likely always update these 2 places first)  

Navigation: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

I'm awake. "I'm awake. What was that?" My heart was racing as I tried to cling to the details of what I'm sure was just a dream. A very vivid dream. But it felt so real. As I tried to sit up, I wince. My body is sore all over but I can't remember what happened to me.

After laying for what felt like hours, I got up to get ready for work. I slowly make my way to the mirror and take a look at myself. "What is that?!" I zero in on a strange bruise just below my right breast. It's got a funny shape, but I cant remember exactly how it got there.

In the distance of my mind I vaguely recall bits of what happened in the dream but with every passing moment I forget more and more, including his name. I can only see clearly his eye, his eyes. And that voice.

Shrugging off the unease that crept up my spine, I continued my routine, inspecting my body for anymore abnormalities. I wasn't looking forward to going to sleep that night but I told myself, just get through today and worry about that later.

Though, since that day, I stopped hearing the voice. The first couple of nights, I was afraid to fall asleep. I was afraid I would be lured back into his or its lair. But nothing. I slept peacefully for quite a few days. On the sixth day, I chalked it up to my imagination. The bruise disappeared, and I slowly began to go back to normal. His eye, his eyes, and that voice were the only memories of the dream that remained.

On the 7th day, however, my literal world turned upside down.

"I'm exhausted. How much longer must we carry this load." My coworker Kira laments as we chat during lunch at a café near the office. "It's been 3 weeks since Jason got fired and we're still carrying these extra assignments."

"I know. I didn't think he was the type to steal. He's honestly the best director I've worked for. You know, other than the stealing thing." I add.

She nods, "Same! I heard they may be close to finding someone. They need to hurry it along. We've got a deadline and a butt load to go."

I nod in agreement.

Once we arrived back at the office, we noticed quite a few people up and gathering around one of the manager's door. Another coworker Andrew is hanging back and looking on.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"Boss found a replacement for Jason. Guess they finalized everything over lunch." He whispers to Kira and I.

"Oh wow! I wonder if he's cute." Kira says excitedly causing Jason to roll his eyes.

I can't clearly see the new person from where we're standing. But just as the crowd parts slightly, I get a clear view, and my heart stops.

I gasp and freeze in place. "You okay?" Kira asks.

I can't answer and my vision tunnels. As if he sensed me, he turns to me and stares directly into my eyes and smiles slowly, a bright devious smile. I start to panic.

"I'm uh. I'm okay. I just need to sit down for a second." I retreat to my office quickly and shut the door.

"It's him. I- I can't remember what he did but it's him. How?" I start panicking. I really wanted to go home. I can't think straight and there's no way I'm going to get any work done. "Let me at least email Kira and let her know I'm working from home the rest of the day." And tomorrow.

As I'm packing my things to go, a knock at my door broke me out of my thoughts. "Come in."

I don't know why I didn't expect him to walk in, because of course.

"Hi." He steps in smiling brightly at me. Something about it was sinister. "You must be..."

"You." It slips out before I'm able to contain myself.

He tilts his head to the side, still smiling. "Me?"

"Yes. Y- you" I'm stuttering I never stutter. I realized I'm scared, but I cant scream. I can't ask for help. His voice sounds similar but not the same. It's not as deep. Am I imagining things?

"Yes I'm Christian. Your new supervisor." He steps further into my office, not closing the door completely. That does little to comfort me. "You must be..." he extends his hand to shake mine.

The way he sounds when he says my name makes my head spin. It was much deeper. Guttural. Just like that voice. Deep down, I know it's him. But he shows no signs of skipping a beat. I feel like I'm losing it again. I quickly stand trying to grasp my sanity. I place my hand in his and it all comes back to me. The dream I had mostly forgotten. I've got to get away from him. I pull my hand back quickly.

"I'm uh-sorry, I was leaving early for the day. I'm not feeling well and I really need to leave."

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you get some rest." He's just smiling.

[artistic-intrxvert]

can you write yandere funtime foxy and funtime freddy headcanons please and thank you?

Hey Bon Bon, we have a new friend!! Fr tho hello!! I got excited when i saw this :D ✨FNAF SISTER LOCATION APPRECIATION✨ I had fun writing this and I hope you enjoy and have an amazing day/night wherever you are!! <3333333

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO YANDERE TOPICS!!

Other TWs: Swearing, Mentions of breaking bones, dark topics, Funtime Freddy, feral animatronics..i think it's pretty self-explanatory-

If I missed a TW, please tell me so i can add it!

✨Funtime Foxy🦊

From what I understand of Funtime Foxy as a general character, he loves to have attention on him

So i would imagine as a Yandere, it would be much, MUCH worse

Wants your attention 24/7 and will not take no as an answer

As for how you got stuck with this little shit? Yeah you were hired to do all of the stuff that needs to be done during the day since your coworker, Mike, has the night shift

Funtime Foxy always enjoyed when you came by to make sure that his voice box and other mechanical parts worked fine because that meant that he got to spend time with you! Not to mention you have have all of your attention on him and him only

Hated it whenever you had to go check out the other animatronics heaven forbid Funtime Freddy

Yeah no Funtime Foxy and Funtime Freddy do not get along...at all

One day at work he doesn't respond to tests for his voice box so that you think it needs replacing, and while you turn around to go grab a new one he hits you over the head and knocks you out

Alright so now you are kidnapped, congratulations! Would you like a trophy? Nevermind, i don't think I have any that say "Congrats for getting kidnapped by a lovesick animatronic fox"

Anyways-

Loves to perform for you! I mean, he loves to talk about being on stage and performances so why not perform for his darling?

What other choice do you have? Escaping? Oh, no you don't

If you even try escaping this mother fucker he's going to know before you can even get to the vent that leads to the elevator

He will then proceed to break both of your legs, not flinching or pausing when your cries of pain echo throughout the underground circus

Will take care of you until you feel better, by then you would have learned your lesson...

"Now now, don't give me that look...why are you crying? Didn't you even think of what was going to happen? Tsk Tsk..i suppose i will put aside my lovely performance just to take care of you..”

🐇Funtime Freddy🎤

If you thought Funtime Foxy was bad, then you clearly don't know fear until you've experienced a Yandere!Funtime Freddy

Now, Freddy by himself is already dangerous enough as it is

But because he has Bon Bon and can literally throw him at people, there is absolutely no hope for you, I’m sorry to say

As for how you got stuck with this psychotic bitch, you are given the ✨Night Shift✨ instead of Michael

And for those of you that know your stuff, Michael has to deal with Freddy and Bon Bon on night 2

So on your second night of working your Night Shift, you got stuck with this motherfucker

Will let you leave the weird back room closet thing he calls his room, but will have the others keep you away from the door

Suuuuper aggressive; if you wanted him to be nice, do everything he says, simple as that

As for entertainment, he will tell jokes and will sometimes play hide and seek with you

Nah never mind he plays hide and seek with you a lot, it gets super terrifying

I can imagine you think your hiding well and then you just hear a whisper in front or behind you saying “Found you…I win”

No hope for you escaping, it’s just you watching him recite programmed jokes over and over and over again

If you try to escape, will let you get to the vent before promptly throwing bon bon at your head, essentially giving you a concussion

He will take care of you though! No need to worry!

If you dare pull something like this again, more headaches and concussions until it gets through your thick skull (his words)

“How many times am I going to have to do this before it gets through that thick fucking skull of yours?! *sigh* It’s fine, I will just have to keep you in my room for another week, not like you can say anything against it..”

-

This is my first time writing yandere stuff so I hope I got this right! I didn’t go back and check to see if these had proper grammar and spelling but it’s fineee-

Hope you have an amazing rest of your day/night!

-artistic-intrxvert

[sirfrogsworth]

Isaac Newton Saves the Day

Okay, so I got my battery installed.

I was worried I couldn't drive until next month. On a whim, my aunt decided to stop by the house and buy some of my mom's antiques. It was literally just enough for a new battery.

But it seems everything is an adventure for me lately.

Getting a pizza and needing a jump start. Tripping at the movies and getting laughed at. Driving the wrong direction on the highway and circling the entire city of St. Louis.

I can't seem to go out of the house and not come back with a story to tell. Just once I want a boring excursion where nothing of note happens.

But not today!

I go to my local AutoZone. I request a new battery installed and a very young man (maybe 20 years old) heads to the back of the store and selects a nice Die Hard for me. If it is as good as the movie, I should be in good shape. It has 800 cold cranks... or something.

He starts ringing me up and notices I have cash in my hand. Seems we weren't at the register with a cash drawer. So we had to move to a different part of the store so I could give him my aunt's crisp 20s.

He gave me change, though instead of 3 one dollar bills, he gave me 2 one dollar bills and a bunch of quarters. He had more ones—I could see them, but I guess he was committed to giving me quarters.

It was time to head out to my car. He had a little cart with wheels and it had various tools he might need to install my battery. I pop the hood and he spends about 2 minutes trying to find the latch. I kept offering to do it, but he insisted on figuring it out.

I was starting to sense this AutoZone employee was not a car guy—just a guy that worked at a store.

He eventually pops the hood and starts to look for my battery. I pointed directly at it, but I guess he didn't see my helpful gesture. He finally notices it and has a little eureka expression. Then he notices me pointing and is like, "Oh."

And here is where the adventure begins.

My car has an engine brace partially covering the top of the battery. It must be removed to swap in a new one. It has three bolts and they looked a bit... rusty.

I may not be a car guy, but I watched my dad fix hundreds of cars. And I had a bad feeling about those bolts.

Then I notice he has the world's tiniest socket wrench.

My bad feeling got worse.

He started on the first bolt. It was sticky. Then I saw him visualize "righty-tighty, lefty-loosey" making circles with his fingers. This confirmed my suspicion he was not a seasoned mechanic. Eventually he started turning in the proper direction and the first bolt came off.

One down.

The second bolt was a little stickier. He was straining hard, but that tiny handle was not doing him any favors.

Then he went back to his tool cart. I thought maybe he was going to grab a longer wrench. But for some reason he got... a longer bit.

And in my head I was just, "No, that's not the part that needs to be longer." I was trying not to intrude and let him figure things out. He seemed like he was still learning all of this and wanted to do as much as possible without help. And I didn't want to embarrass him.

It was at this time that his friend and coworker came out to assist. He was the more experienced battery installer and started giving him tips. He gave the second bolt a try with the long bit and it finally started budging.

One more to go.

His friend went back in the store and he took back the socket wrench and started on the final bolt.

It was not sticky—it was *stuck*.

I watched him struggle for quite a while. He thought maybe he did righty-tighty, lefty loosey wrong. So he turned it in both directions just to be sure. Then his friend tried with no success and left again.

I couldn't take it anymore, "You need a longer wrench... I think."

He inspected the cart and sorted through a haphazardly organized set of tools. Looking for something to help. Then, inexplicably, he found an extension that made the socket bit even longer.

I was screaming in my head, "THAT ISN'T WHAT I MEANT BY LONGER."

Now I was worried he was going to twist his wrist. Those extensions are really only meant to get in tight spaces. They are not terribly ergonomic, especially for sticky bolts.

I think in total he worked on that third bolt for 35 minutes. His friend brought out WD40 in the hopes that might loosen it. That did a whole lot of nothing.

I was struggling to stand for that long. I really wanted to get this over with. I figured they have to sell socket wrenches at an auto parts store. Maybe I could just buy the proper one for these two battery installation comrades.

They were still tugging so I popped inside and checked out the options. But all of the ones with long handles were $30 to $40. I was not spending that to fix this problem for them. Though if this kept going another 30 minutes I may have pulled that trigger.

I head back outside and I start inspecting the tool cart for myself while he grunts. I saw that he had a different kind of extension and the end fit loosely onto the end of one of the socket wrenches. It was not a snug fit and it jiggled a bit, but it was definitely good enough.

I was able to do something similar to this...

His hands were starting to hurt so he went inside to get gloves. When he returned I said, "I have an idea."

I hold up my makeshift extendo handle. "This will make your wrench almost three times longer. It might do the trick."

He responds, "If I could I would, but I don't think that will work."

I am trying to be patient and not overstep. He starts trying again with his gloves and it still has not budged. But I think the desperation was getting to him. After a few more minutes he went back to the cart and picked up the items I showed him.

He was finally willing to give it a try.

First attempt... the wrench slipped.

He thought he loosened it. Turns out he put the wrong size socket on. I was worried he was going to abandon my idea. But he went back to the cart, got the right size, and tried again.

He suddenly realized he could push with a great deal more force. I could see him starting to feel like he was a superhero using his strength for the first time. Now that he wasn't using the shortest socket wrench in existence, he could put his entire body behind it.

Suddenly, his hand flew forward and he had a shocked expression frozen on his face.

He looked up at me in amazement. "I can't believe that worked!"

I exclaimed, "It's just leverage!"

He starts loosening the bolt and dancing with each twist of the handle. He was so happy to have slain this dragon. His friend comes out to check on the bolt progress... "Did you get it??"

"Look at this thing I made!" *holds up the extendo wrench*

*in my head* "Wait, is he going to take credit?"

"Oh wow! And that worked?"

"LEVERAGE, BOYYY!!!"

"We'll have to remember that for next time!"

"I'm just playin'. He figured it out." *points at me*

SWEET VALIDATION.

Not only did my problem solving skills save the day once again, I got to teach two young men about physics. I told them if the handle is longer then the same amount of energy can do more work.

They said that was "tight" and I felt like a real Captain Smartypants.

The rest of the process was trivial. Under his friend's supervision, he was able to get the battery swapped with no further issues. I started up the car and thanked him for his help.

Adventure accomplished.

[defilerwyrm]

Oh, Alcohol.

Barenaked Ladies saved me from a life (and possibly death) as an alcoholic.

Let me explain:

My first official, tax-paying job as as a mutuel teller at a horse track in the mid aughts. I worked for $8.15/hour most of the year and during live season (when races were taking place at my track) they bumped it up to $8.50. During live race nights, I could easily pull in $100 in tips in a night.

You would have thought that a nearly-homeless college dropout trapped in a relationship he didn’t yet fully realize was extremely abusive would have squirreled that away to make a better life for himself, but no. My coworkers (including The Ex From Hell) liked to go drinking at the restaurant/bar across the highway from the track after live race nights—twice a week—and I, being starved for company and having TEFH as my only ride home, went with them.

It was always a jolly old time. I drank so many mudslides & flying grasshoppers and ate so many mozzarella sticks you wouldn’t believe. My regular bartender and I (and that phrase should set off alarm bells in your head already) developed a new drink! It’s still one of my favorites. Here, let me share it with you:

AQUA VELVET 2 parts blue curaçao 2 parts Midori (melon liqueur) 1 part pineapple juice spritz of Sprite Shake with ice, strain, serve cold in a hurricane glass.

Fucking incredible drink.

But yeah. I drank pretty heavily every night we went out. Drank until I got loose and loopy and extremely homosexual. Drank until I didn’t care about the dysphoria I was trying to ignore and the mental illness & traumas I couldn’t afford to get help for. Until, for just a few hours, I was happy.

And then one night as “Closing Time” by Semisonic played on the speaker system and I received my solo bill, I really looked at it and realized I’d spent literally all of my tip money for that day’s work. I spent over $100 on alcohol in one sitting—in 2007 or 2008 money, on an $8.50/hour wage. Moreover, I’d drank over a hundred dollars worth of booze specifically for the goal of getting drunk and staying that way.

As a sidebar, one of the many things wrong with me is moderate/severe OCD. My most intrusive symptom is endomusia—music stuck in my head…every…waking…moment. As in, I can tell when I’ve woken up because that’s when the music starts. (In a fascinating twist, my father and brother both suffer this, too.) Any little thing that I see or hear or think about could set off a new song playing on repeat in my head.

And in that moment, looking at that staggering total on my receipt for the night, I heard Barenaked Ladies jamming their way through a syncopated bridge:

I thought that drinking just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze

Had it not been for that song, I would not have known that drinking to get drunk on a regular basis was a classic sign of alcoholism. But because I knew and loved that song, and because I had that moment of crystalline clarity at something like one in the morning, I realized that I had a fucking problem and I needed to stop.

I am immeasurably lucky that I came to this realization before my alcoholism developed into an actual dependency instead just of a deeply stupid bad habit I did for fun twice a week. I don’t take for granted that it could have been the end of me if not for that single moment. As much horrific shit as has happened to me in my life, holy fuck have I ever gotten some lucky breaks.

I don’t drink much nowadays, and haven’t for almost a decade. I don’t really like how it makes me feel most of the time. I just finished a top shelf margarita before writing this, in the safety of my own home, and it’s—I think the second alcoholic drink I’ve had this year.

So yeah. Music saves lives, y’all.

[valaenatargaryensdragon]

I seriously hate my job sometimes. I had the worst shift ever in my life. We just had a costumer come to the drive through complaining about the fact that he got 2 20 nuggets yesterday and that they were cold and that he called us and we promised him new ones. My coworker did not find any evidence that he had called but still since it was busy we decided to give him one 20 nuggets and let him leave so we can continue our jobs. When she took the nuggets out to him, he literally put his entire hand inside the box then threw them at her and told her "these are cold. Go give them to someone else" and started filming her as "evidence". Btw they were fully new and out of the oil. I feel so bad for her because she started crying. Before our more experienced and male coworker could confront him he drove off and we thought he would leave but instead he drove around to the drive through again and started filming me at the window as if it was all my fault as well but I remained calm and collected and smiled in his face. My male coworker immediately came over and forced him to delete the video is by threatening to call the police for harassment and took his name to ban him from our McDonald's. My coworker was literally sobbing and having a panic attack so I pulled myself together and finished my shift with a smile. But the second I got into the car and saw my dad "my safe space, other than my mom" I couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out crying as well. My dad took me on a calming walk at 4:30 am to help me relax again before we came back home. I don't know if I was in the wrong or if my coworker was in the wrong but this incident has made me feel so weak and I promised myself to never be this weak ever again and defend myself. I'm sorry for the rant but I had to get this off of my chest.

Now I’m watching the sunrise at 6 am cause I cannot sleep for the life of me😭

[nashusglasses]

it's always a surprise when the tide comes in

note: this is a writing exercise for exposition. I hate hate HATEEEEE writing it!! it makes my skin crawl i just want everything to happen at once!!!! -_- anywho. this story is the background story of this drabble

i love the idea of gojo in an office setting bc he’s already so silly like that would be a 10 times silly buff. Also the thought of him and yuuji having deep conversations about pop culture scratches a very good itch in my heart :3

note 2: this is literally yuuji n gojo in this au im going to HURL !!!

PAIRING. gojo/reader SETTING. work husband au (or, "you keep being suggestive in front of all our coworkers to the point where everyone knows we're not dating but we COULD be and it's silly so I'll go along with it!!!! ...wait why are you asking me out on an actual date?" au) WARNINGS. twilight references. shitting as a threat. hime n gojo hating each other bc they both love oc =3= SUMMARY. He’s a liar, but only for good reason. WORD COUNT. 2.5k

Someone is going to die today.

You’d been so diligent in choosing your hiding spot in the break room fridge. Your one yogurt cup—the one with the strawberry bits swirled in the vanilla—sitting behind the giant bottle of mustard at the bottom of the fridge door shelf. Gone. You try in vain to scour for your snack, but there’s nothing else save for labeled Tupperware and three quarters of a cake from Mei Mei’s birthday celebration yesterday.

The list of culprits shouldn’t be that long, anyway. 

First: Nanami. He wouldn’t. Your boss is built on black coffee and the occasional vegan bao from the restaurant across the street. You’ve never seen him eat anything else.

Utahime, the freak owner of the mustard bottle because she eats it with her pretzels, is lactose-intolerant. There’s no way she’s risking an explosive gut when she’s always busy at reception. 

Nobara’s too new to the office to try inciting violence against her seniors. You’d probably let her off the hook, regardless—she’s too hardworking to stay mad at.

You’d brood more over The Case of Your Missing Yogurt, but Satoru’s loud talking at the lunch table cuts right through your ruminations.

“—like I know it’s personal preference, but I think it’s so lazy,” he grumbles. “My uncle: Hiro. His son? Hiro, junior. God. Corny people piss me off.”

“Right.” Yuuji, the other new junior associate, hangs off Satoru’s every word. “It’s kind of like Bella from Twilight.”

Satoru slaps the table with passion. Yuuji hastily clings to his cup of coffee from spilling over. “Exactly, Yuuji. Exactly! You named your kid not only after the dad but also your ex who wasn’t even your ex?! The combination didn’t even sound good.”

“Edward Jacob,” Yuuji recalls.

“Disgusting.” Satoru shivers. “I don’t—Jesus. Don’t let me think about that. It’s so vile.” 

You close the fridge door, trek a sad path to the chair next to Satoru. Yuuji gives you a quick smile. You decide to scheme your murder plan later, because now you just want to pinch Yuuji’s cheeks off—your juniors are so cute! “Hello,” he greets politely.

Satoru sneaks an arm around your shoulders, resting it on the back of the chair. “What’s up with you?”

Is your sadness that obvious? God, you were waiting for that yogurt all morning.

“I’ll tell you later,” you say, because you might start languishing if you think one more second about your lost snack. “Hi, Yuuji. What were you guys saying about naming babies?”

Satoru huffs. “I hate parents who name their kids stupid names.”

(Yuuji takes a sip of coffee.)

“You wouldn’t do that with our kids, right?” Satoru asks you next.

(Yuuji, promptly, chokes on his coffee.)

“Absolutely not,” you answer, just as nonchalant.

“Hek.” Yuuji dissolves into five seconds of hard coughing. “You—you two are married?”

“Nope,” you both chirp at the same time.

The poor boy just stares, coffee blushing on his shirt. “Ah,” he says. “I see.”

Satoru shrugs. “Don’t get me wrong. I’d have babies with her. But she makes my coffee wrong every time I ask for it. I don’t think I could share my bank account with someone like that.”

Yuuji looks at you for a response. You reach over to pat his hand. “Don’t listen to him. You just keep working hard. And don’t tell Nanami that we gossip too much.”

“Right. I guess—well.” Yuuji stammers. “Does..? Am I? Is this… a secret?”

He sticks a hesitant finger up, pointing it at you, then at Satoru. Satoru wiggles a finger right back.

“Whatever Utahime tells you is wrong,” Satoru says, and Yuuji stares at him like he’s waiting for an explanation, but all Satoru does is wave him off. “Lunch is done.”

“Oh. Right.” Yuuji stands up, bows quickly, then remembers his mug. He runs to the sink to drop it off, then says, “I’ll–I’ll be careful around Utahime!”

He doesn’t wait for a response; he scampers out the room like he’s got a secret to share. 

Satoru’s always been lax with new hires—you wouldn’t be surprised if he’d explained his entire life story to Yuuji in the last hour. But his ongoing charade of touting you as his much-more-than-coworker co-worker is the oldest secret of Office Drama there is.

Utahime, your best and first co-worker friend who worked in the same room with you as clerks. Satoru, whose first day was the last day of your probation period, booted her out of the office because she got the full-time reception position she applied for. He proved himself a competent coworker. Steadfast in work ethic, a little too up the ass about gelling his hair properly in the morning. Had to look good to do good, he claimed. 

Utahime’s been out for his ass ever since, complaining that he was using his good looks to steal you away from her. Satoru took the bait right away. Made it his mission everyday to make Utahime green with explosive jealousy for having taken her rightful spot as your Worker Bestie for the Resties.

It started with the little gestures. A gentle hand on your lower back when you passed by reception (Utahime, who zeroed in on the touch from her desk, scoffing loudly). Complimenting your outfit choice of the day (“I think she’s beautiful everyday!”). Making you laugh with his stupid Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions (she hated this the most; she said he sounded like an ugly troll). 

“That’s the love of my life you cad!” Utahime bellowed, once, when Satoru trailed after you from the elevator one morning. Nanami said she had to stop playing sad Drake songs every morning when you passed by her desk because the melancholy brought the office morale down.

“You know I take good care of her,” Satoru called back. “And nobody says cad anymore, harlot!”

(They insulted each other for two more minutes using outdated expletives. After Nanami came to intervene, you gave him five bucks for his vegan bao to calm him down.)

You don’t really know when Satoru’s attempts to establish workplace dominance turned into straight-up flirting, though. Utahime didn’t need to be around anymore for him to butter you up. He’d leave little sticky notes he left on your monitor to remind you about deadlines, the next fire drill, drawing those little hearts at the ends of his sentences. The hand on your back turning into an arm draped on your shoulder. 

You told Utahime about it when Satoru took a sick day. She was livid. Then, immediately, she started tearing up.

“So I’m demoted from Bestie for the Resties and he’s trying to get into your pants?!” She moaned, sliding dramatically down her chair in the lunch room. “I’m going to pass away right now.”

“It’s not like he’s being serious,” you contended. 

Utahime gave you a hard look. “Please don’t tell me you actually believe that.”

You looked at her blankly. Wholly unfazed, because you really did believe Satoru had no other motive. He was just your stupid coworker–who sat across from you and did nice things and said nice stuff and you were pretty sure the older lady from accounting had a crush on him, anyway. 

“It’s nothing,” you decided, and Utahime shook her head, scoffing.

“Look. That garbage can’s been going after you since day one. You may not see it, but I have eyes, my pumpy-wumpkin bugaboo.” She tapped your nose. “You owe me twenty when you see I’m right.”

And that was all she had to say about it.

If anything, you figure it’s better for Yuuji to learn right from the source than be wrongfully convinced by Utahime that Satoru was a piece of shit homewrecker who lived to piss her off. Regardless of whatever lie is being fed to the junior staffers, there is one universal truth: you are the crowned jewel of this office floor, and that means everyone’s being lit on fire till you find the person who stole your fucking yogurt.

The second the door closes behind Yuuji, you glare daggers at Satoru. He still has his arm around you. 

“I might kill you,” you start.

“You say that everyday.” Satoru grins. “Don’t tell me the thought of having my babies scares you that much.”

Steam might actually blow out of your ears. “That’s not—stop trying to confuse me! My yogurt! It’s gone from the fridge!”

Satoru stares at you. Then his face morphs into a mix of shock and disbelief, and he screeches: “Are you saying I took it?!”

You sag in your seat, give him a look that tells him he should just confess before you find the closest sharp thing in this room. He just levels your stare with the same offended look, and you give in first because you don’t have time to argue anymore. Lunch really is over.

“Fine,” you sneer. “But if I find anything incriminating I will crucify you.”

Satoru fakes a shiver. “Ooh. Threaten me again. I can take it.”

He screams when you pinch the sensitive spot just below his armpit.

.

.

.

Right when the clock hits 4:59, Satoru hauls himself up from his seat. 

“Meet me outside. I’m getting my stuff then ripping ass in the bathroom,” Satoru tells you.

You snort. “Which one?”

“The one closest to the elevators.” In other words, right next to reception where Utahime is closing right now. Satoru is nothing if not calculating in his efforts to vex that poor woman. “See you.”

At this point in the day, the despair of losing your yogurt has simmered down to lazy indifference. You’ll just have to interrogate everyone tomorrow. Maybe print out a missing yogurt paper to stick on the fridge with no reward but your sincere gratitude and the promise to stick out for their missing lunch, should the same depravity befall them too. 

You turn your monitor off, make sure your desk is neat. Swiping off any crumbs from Satoru’s desk because he snuck in a sandwich today after forgetting to eat when he was talking to Yuuji.

And then you see it.

The silver shine of ripped plastic in the trash. 

At first, you’re skeptical. You’re too tired to spark another match of anger. But surely enough, when you hunch over to look, an empty can of yogurt sits innocent, perfect. All your strawberry vanilla goodness wiped clean.

You think of all the spectacular ways you could beat the shit out of Satoru, because he didn’t only lie; he thought you were stupid enough not to see the evidence right across from you. He could have at least thrown it into Mei Mei’s trash. Snuck it into Yuuji’s bag when he wasn’t looking. If there’s one thing you hate, it’s being underestimated.

So when you meet Satoru outside the elevators, the first thing you say is:

“You’re a giant fucking oaf and I want you to stay exactly one metre away from me till we get to our cars.”

He always parks his car next to yours.

“O-kay.” He puts his hands up in surrender, maintaining his distance. “Actually, that’s a good thing. My ass. It’s weeping. Ow.”

You quickly realize that this is the best course of action you could have taken, because you know the one thing Satoru hates, and it’s being ignored.

And you do it well.

“Your hair looks pretty today,” he says when you step out into the garage.

“I like the jeans you picked out,” he notes when you walk ahead without him.

“I’m going to crash my car into the first pole I see,” he whines the second you reach your car, and he traps you against the door with a hand pressed above the window. Distant enough to keep you comfortable, but you still feel more warmth than you’ve ever felt from him before. Like those slow burn romances where the lead slyly flirts with the pretty girl he’s been chasing for two seasons, except you’re one second away from kneeing his balls into painful oblivion. “Why are you being mean?”

You cross your arms. “Because you lied.”

“About?”

“You know what about!”

He clicks his tongue. Then his eyebrows lift in realization. “Ah.”

You wait for him to continue. Maybe you’d ask him to go down on his knees, get those nice linen pants dirty with grime and dust just to gloat about his passion for you and only you. You’ll partake in his drama for the sake of an inflated ego. But all he does is smile, and he’s got a handsome face, and for some reason, you’ve got nothing for rebuttal.

“So I have a confession to make,” he starts. 

You nod.

“I did eat your yogurt. Don’t say anything yet!” Satoru interrupts your open mouth. “I just. I didn’t think you’d be too upset.”

“Hm,” you concede. “Go on.”

“I’ll make it up to you.”

This is too easy. You feel like an ant trapped in a glass jar. You’re used to the bickering, the roundabout conversation because somehow, he always makes you laugh. Your conversations are never serious. 

But this. This feels serious.

“How?” You ask, gut heavy with dread, anticipation.

“I’ll take you out for lunch,” he suggests, and you wait a heartbeat for him to tack on a sike, I’m broke, but he almost looks nervous. Like he wants so badly for you to understand something he knows so well. 

“It–um. Like… tomorrow we go across the street and get those baos Nanami loves so much?”

You’re stalling. Satoru laughs. You think you’re starting to like the way he looms over you like this.

“Like on the weekend, I pick you up, and we both look pretty, and you say you’re paying but then I slap your hand away from your card, and I pay because I need to give you a good impression,” he rambles.

“You don’t need to give me a good impression.” You’re almost breathless. “You–you…”

Satoru tilts his head, and it’s annoyingly charming. “Me?”

“I thought–I thought we–this is just–it’s you and me?” You stumble. He watches you shift your feet. Takes his hand off your car, uncrosses your arms with a tug on your wrist. You think he’s about to hold your hand, but he pulls away at the last second.  

“It’s always been you and me,” he repeats. Then scratches the back of his head because you think he’s floundering, too. “Just not for everyone else this time.”

You think you might genuinely explode. All your synapses stretch to the absolute limit, you’re almost convinced you’ll bleed from your ears. “You’re being serious.”

He nods. There’s zero indication that he understands the gravity of the situation. But it’s quiet in this garage. You hear it then, the tapping his shoe makes when he’s impatient.

“When–when you told Yuuji about sharing bank accounts,” you continue.

“Okay I’m not in that deep,” Satoru defends. “Well. Who knows. Maybe I could be.”

You shove his shoulder. “You can’t just say that!”

“You’re so violent.” He rubs the spot you’ve tainted. As if you did any damage. He’s just doing it to fuck with you. “Do you hit all the guys you’re into?”

“Are you trying to make me say no?” That’s a lie. You know this. You’re just still in shock that you might actually owe Utahime twenty bucks. Satoru clicks his teeth.

“Look. You don’t have to answer me now. And I’ll buy you your yogurt back.” He digs in his bag, taking his car keys out. “Just… let me know, okay?”

He lingers in his spot. He’s not the main character in this romance scene, though. It’s you, the unforgiving lead who can’t decide what they want for themselves, and when the opportunity comes for a new start, they stand frozen in time. All those past mistakes a whirlwind behind you, threatening your security, and the glass breaks, and all of a sudden you’re in a garage, making a fool of yourself in front of the character who never deserved a bad ending. You wouldn’t do that to him.

“If I say yes,” you murmur. Satoru perks up instantly. “Can I choose where we go?”

“Depends. Do they have free ice cream for dessert?”

Of course that would be his only stipulation. You’re glad he’s easy to feed. “Probably.”

Satoru nods. He clicks his car unlocked. “If you say yes,” he repeats, rounding the back of his car to the driver’s seat, “I’ll go anywhere for you.”

He leaves you gawping. You watch him open his door, sit down. Adjusting the air conditioner high because you know he’s always blasting it. He doesn’t roll the window down to say bye, just pulls from his spot, and you mind your feet, mind the way he waves at you, but not as enthused as he usually is with it.

You stand there, thinking about your yogurt, and about Utahime’s face when you tell her you’ll say yes.

[highwayorgantrade]

As Long As You're There

Pairing: Reader x Carlisle Cullen

Request: "can u do more carlisle fics hehe i read art history and it was so cute help:)) love ur writing!" by @sofire-k

Spotify Playlist: Record Store

Summary: Small business owner just opened a store in Forks!

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: Surprise: None! Not even cursing!

Author's note:

LITERALLY SHUTUP I'm so in love with you please gimme a kiss. Okay so listen I know people want me to make a part 2 to Art History and Live A Little but I have to get out my gratuitous bs!! This one is def. more of a slow burn that I might continue, but this fandom is horny as hell and I swear I will be indulging soon!

Alice's vision came to her a week before he met you, and her and Edward debated for days on whether they should tell Carlisle or not.

"But they should meet organically, you shouldn't force anything." Edward griped at Alice in the living room, their siblings watching in entertainment.

"It's not forcing, Edward, it's warning. Have you ever seen him talk to a woman romantically?"

Edward thought about it, and he hadn't. Of course, he heard the thoughts of Carlisle's coworkers when visiting his father at the hospital, but to Carlisle, they had largely gone unnoticed or ignored.

"No. Have you?"

"Exactly!" Alice exclaimed, and she turned to Rosalie. "And the way that they meet is just so cute!"

"Alice, I'm sorry," Rosalie laughed, gesturing to Edward. "I'm on his side for this one. If they're supposed to spend eternity together, what's some time letting them find each other?"

"Alice, I will tell you right now, that Jasper and Emmett are on your side." Edward groaned, running a hand through his hair. Rosalie turned to Emmett and raised an eyebrow, challenging him to go against her.

"Well, I do agree with Alice, but since the both of you are terrifying, what about a compromise?" Emmett suggested, patting his mate's leg gently.

And so they decided not to tell him, rather lead him in the right direction. And the right direction was to a new record store in Forks.

You ran a hand through your hair as you took one last look at the store. Everything was clean, organized logically... What was missing? Okay, all the lights were turned on, and the comfortable, warm glow eased your worries a bit. The quietness of the building made you uneasy, despite the sign on the door reading, "Closed!"

Almost subconsciously, you smack your forehead. It's quiet! There's supposed to be music in a music store! You flipped the sign, and rushed to your phone. In your anxiousness of opening this store, it was only natural for you to spend weeks curating the perfect playlist.

"Alice, I don't understand. If you want something so badly from this store, why can't you go?" Carlisle was exasperated, as Alice had been begging him all week to go to some new store that had opened in town.

"Can you please just stop by and see if they have it! I don't want to waste my time." Edward stifled a smile at her desperation, her mind still coming up with reasons as to why she couldn't go.

"Alice." Carlisle placed his hand on her shoulder, to calm her. "You seem very passionate about this, so I will go and look." He shrugged on a coat, and grabbed his car keys. "I want a tune-up on my car by Monday!" He called behind him, and set out to find this record.

"I hope you have a good day!" You called out the door, giddy that business seemed to be going well. Honestly, you expected it to be super dead, but apparently, the people of Forks desperately needed music, and you made a mental note to buy more guitars for the next shipment.

"Hello?" You heard a voice calling as the door swung open. You looked up from your computer to see a blonde man stepping in, looking mildly confused. Wow. Okay. Yikes. This man certainly didn't look like the rest of your customers, all indie high schoolers or alternative twenty-somethings, but still, the sight of him made you forget how to breathe for just a second.

"Hey!" You tucked your loose hair behind your ear, and smiled, trying not make your fascination for him obvious. "Looking for anything specific?"

He smiled back at you, and glanced around your store.

"Yes, my daughter sent me here to get an album for her, could you help me?"

"Absolutely! Do you know the name of the album?"

"I think it's called... To The Fire? Away From The Fire? The band name is kind of German sounding." He realized how little information Alice gave him about what exactly she wanted, and sighed.

"Could it be From The Fires by Greta Van Fleet?" You raised an eyebrow, and gestured for him to follow you. "Would you recognize it by the art?" You were absolutely dedicated to do whatever it would take for him to keep coming back, and your customer service voice was working overtime. He nodded, and followed you into a corner, the entire section labeled 'Rock.' "Your daughter has good taste, Greta Van Fleet is one of my personal favorites." You flipped through the albums until you found the one you wanted.

You held it up to him, and you could tell he recognized the picture.

"Yes, that's exactly it. You're very good at what you do."

He couldn't help but stare at her. There was something about her, something in her that he could feel himself drawn to. The shop had a pleasant vanilla smell, but the scent of her blood was calling him more than anything.

"What kind of music do you like?" Your voice cut through the silence, trying to contain yourself in the wake of his praise. He seemed taken aback by your question, like nobody had ever asked him before.

"I'm more into classical music. Tchaikovsky, Chopin-"

"Vivaldi?" You questioned, walking behind your counter and sliding the record into a bag. A slight smile cracked on his face, and he cocked his head.

"I love Vivaldi."

"He goes hard." You grinned, and glanced at your register, already inputting a steep discount. If you could have any loyal customer here, it would have to be whoever this guy is.

"You've been such an amazing help, what's your name?" He handed you $20, and you could barely focus on counting his change right. Stop acting stupid! Focus!

"My name's (y/n). Yours?" When he took the bag, he didn't look like he was making any effort to leave.

"My name's Carlisle."

"Well, Carlisle, if that's not the album your daughter wanted, you can always come back and exchange it for the right one." You leaned against the counter, and the way that Carlisle followed your movement made you fight a smile. "And if she's interested, I have live music on Fridays. It might help get her down here herself." He laughed at your suggestion, and turned to leave. Carlisle hesitated in opening the door, and gave you one final smile as he exited.

As soon as the cool air hit his lungs, he inhaled deeply, clearing the scent of you out of him. It dizzying to him, to where he almost felt drunk. He stopped in his tracks on the sidewalk, the thought finally crossing his mind. That's why Alice sent him here. This woman was his blood singer. He heard Aro talk about it multiple times during his time in the Volturi, but after centuries of not experiencing that level of desire, he simply believed it didn't exist. Not for him, at least. He pulled out his phone, and quickly shot a text to Alice, a grin breaking out on his face.

C: You could have just told me. Carlisle spun on his track, knowing what he had to do, and his phone vibrated.

A: Blame Edward.

As soon as you forced him out of your mind, you heard the door open again. You looked up to see Carlisle, and you mentally groaned. Looks like he's going to be in your thoughts all day.

"Do I need to brush up on my music identification skills?"

"Would you like to have dinner?"

You spoke at the same time, but his voice dwarfed yours, and you raised your eyebrows. Did he just ask you to dinner? Your brain was completely blank, completely surprised by his question. Your eyebrows knit together, and you waited for him to change his mind. Or to tell you it was a joke.

"Uh, yes, I would." You scrambled to find a pen and a receipt slip that you could write your phone number on, and you rolled your eyes at the slight shaking in your hands.

"We don't have to go to dinner." Carlisle added. "We could go on a hike, I could show you around Forks, anything. Whatever you want, as long as you're there." The glint in his eyes was mesmerizing, and you couldn't help but smile.

"It sounds like you've got it all figured out."

"I sure hope I do."

[priestfrommidnightmass]

new potential love interest reveal for anyone invested in my personal life for some reason. bc some are

okay SO. there’s this other guy i work withhhh of course and i’ve had a bigggg crush on him from the literal first moment i met him because god he’s sooooo fucking cute UGH. (the first time i saw him at the training me and my bestie gave each other a Look and were texting each other under the table like Oh my god did you just fall in love with him too. we have been jokingly fighting over him for MONTHS 😭) however it was like. never that serious it was just a fun thing for my friends and i to joke abt all the time and i haven’t felt the need to talk abt him for a variety of reasons bc 1. i was clearly BUSY with my other situationship hell and 2. me and him literally Never talked. like we talked comically little it was almost a bit that we’d never had a full conversation he would give me his stuff and then leave the second i got there so it wasn’t like we were super close by any means lmfao. and of course 3. he just HAD to have a girlfriend because why wouldn’t he. why WOULDN’T HE. they always do. but me and my friend were like okay soon we have to gauge how serious it is like what’s the deal is it serious is it like a canada girlfriend or what. so i finally brought it up with him this past friday and he talked abt her a bit and showed me pics of them and she was verrryyyy pretty and they’d been together for like two years which whatever that’s fine cool now i know right. NO! that’s not the end.

first of all him and i have already been talking a bit more than usual (maybe a few full conversations at this point!) but even better we were actually teaching together this week which means we’ll get to spend a bunchhhh of time together (also me and situationship are separated which helps too bc. out of sight out of mind) and he was like i’m so excited to finally be able to work closely with you and talk to you and whatever which is fun i was super looking forward to it. but anyway context there had been a wedding at our week on friday and so on monday my other coworker was like God I feel sooo bad for him we keep talking abt the wedding and stuff it’s probably making him feel worse and i was like. hey wdym. wdym. and they were like oh he just went through a really rough breakup and he’s kind of unwell abt it. and listen this person is Not the most reliable source whatsoever so i was hesitant to believe it because he had literally been raving abt her less than three days prior bro like WHAT DO YOU MEAN!!! so i casually bring her up (he’d mentioned that they might’ve been going to an event at our work together in a few weeks and i asked if he was still planning on that) and he was like oh yeah me and girlfriend unfortunately broke up it’s kind of a mess right now. and i was like oh my god i’m so sorry i had no idea i feel bad for bringing it up and he was like no it’s okay it’s fine i should’ve seen it coming. it’s kinda funny i totally switched up the gender roles and *i* was the one begging her for an explanation and to try and stay and fix the relationship and she was the one who ghosted me LOL! (.) BUT THERE’S ONE MORE KEY DETAIL. he’s leaving in LESS THAN A WEEK ACROSS THE COUNTRY because he’s getting his fucking PHD from a nice ass school (i fucking know dude) i always knew this but he’s leaving like much much sooner than expected. but anyway he is like. insanely attractive and charming and smart and it’s like 😭 why are you doing this to me. he’s so tall and he has the nicest hands if anyone i’ve ever seen and he’s sooo sweet to me and he’s always nerding out abt the smart ass shit he’s studying and it’s soooo charming dude you have no idea he’s so fun to talk to and be around. he is insanely out of my league like i think we all have got to be a little in love with him but for some reason the last few days i’ve been deluding myself into thinking there’s any chance something could happen and yknow what? i will absolutely try my luck he’s literally gonna be gone in a week i will totally make a rebound offer bc he keeps asking to hang out soon and shit. the pieces are falling into place let me finally have this universe. LET ME INNN

[inkedover]

hdjahtejrjdhd I forgor to post the Hyperlaser art I made while on vacation so have this to feed yourself while I struggle with my animation

headcanons and info abt this under the cut :3

okayyy so Phighting x Pokémon crossover has invaded my brain and I started thinking abt what Pokémon each Phighter would have, how it would fit thematically, and how the world around them would change with these new pocket monsters.

first off, I like to think that Pokémon are very heavily influenced by the environment they live in and evolve in. Ex. Pokémon living in Blackrock will get some sort of cold resistant evolution like fluffier coats or thicker skin. their patterns are also influenced by their environment, but to an extent. the Pokémon will keep most base features and colors, but there are typically a lot of variables. think of Pokémon species having genetic diversity inside of their own species like real life Pokémon do. Zebstrika having different stripe patterns, Daschbun differentiating bread and baking types, ghost Pokémon in general taking on different forms, etc.

second off, Phighting Pokémon are definitely treated like they are in the Pokémon universe. some as pets, some as tools, others to dominate the leagues and others just as general help for jobs. Hyperlaser + his Inteleon are the example for this one, read down below.

tbh idk why I thought to do Hyperlaser first, maybe because I already drew Pokémon art with him in it idk

Hyperlaser's wip team:

Liepard

Inteleon

Yamask

1. Liepard is literally just Princess except as a beeg girl, and she was Hyperlaser's first Pokémon. tiny Purrloin approached him and he was like “aw yeah how adorable a kitty cat”.

her patterns and coat as a Liepard were both influenced by Blackrock and Hyperaser himself, Princess' coat becoming thick and fluffy so that she's more comfortable living in Blackrock and the typical oval/petal shaped rings on her coat turning more heart shaped due to Hyperlaser's constant love and affection, we love a good Pokémon owner here fellas!!!

2. Inteleon. Inteleon was given to Hyperlaser as a sort of ‘partner Pokémon’ to work with him and assist in his duties as a sniper. I actually looked through all of the Pokémon with the sniper ability available before choosing Inteleon because overall in both design and themes I feel like Inteleon works the best with Hyperlaser.

Inteleon definitely has more of a snow coat/windbreaker on than the usual tailcoat pattern that normal Inteleon have, but other than that nothing too out of the ordinary. well- for patterns at least. due to evolving inside of Blackrock I like to think that Hyperlaser actually got a sort of ‘Blackrockian Inteleon’ and that his Inteleon developed the ice-typing as well.

3. Yamask. okay so this little fella seems kind of out of place for people that haven't read it's Pokédex entry, but those who have probably understand where I was going with this. Yamask have the face of somebody who was passed away on their mask, and I like to imagine that this Yamask began following Hyperlaser around after the incident which took majority of his horns + face.

Hyperlaser was actively avoiding the Yamask whenever it showed up, but Subspace noticed this and- being the sadistic little prick he is- caught it and forced it onto Hyperlaser's team (context for the drawing that you may or may not have seen long ago).

as for relationship dynamics:

Hyperlaser loves Princess with all of his heart and soul. he is a very very good Pokémon keeper and Princess is his literal pride and joy.

Hyperlaser treats Inteleon like a coworker. he respects the Pokémon and it respects him back and works with him readily on missions. at home Inteleon enjoys cleaning, even though Hyperlaser has said it doesn't need to.

while Hyperlaser is uncomfortable with Yamask around, he makes sure he isn't neglecting it. sure, he doesn't usually mention that it's on his team, but he does ensure that it at least isn't uncomfortable with him.

Princess occasionally feels like Inteleon is her rival when it comes to Hyperlaser's attention, but Inteleon tends to ignore Princess when they're both together. Neither Pokémon like Yamask, but Hyperlaser makes sure that they don't bully it- errr, not on his watch, anyway. Hyperlaser can't leave Yamask alone with either Pokémon.

anywayyyyy thank you for reading to the end!!!! if you saw this have some cookies for the road!!!! 🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

[snippychicke]

For the Sake of a Smile (V.2) Chapter Eighteen

Title: For the Sake of a Smile (Revised)

Overall Rating: Mature (18+)

Chapter Rating: M for Mature. We've begun the 18+ content

Trigger warnings: Nothing beyond the child abuse hinted in the series, though we do explore the consequences a bit more.

Main Pairing: Balam Shichiro/Reader

Summary: Hell on earth was your motto for your job. Granted, you were pretty sure earth really was hell, considering the shit you had seen in your life. And the fact your coworker was a child. 

A child named Suzuki Iruma, in fact. A kid who’s life was decidedly worse than yours, but yet he smiled despite everything. It wasn’t long after meeting him that you decided you’d do a lot for his smile. Including summoning a literal demon and signing your soul away.

But as it turns out, hell (The Netherworld, actually) was a lot better than living on earth. Demons were more humane than a lot of humans you knew.

And Iruma’s smile wasn’t the only one that would change your life.

Masterlist | Ao3| Mairimashitai! Simps Discord

Your body hurt.

The cool autumn air was both refreshing and like sharp daggers to your lungs as you gasped for breath.

Yet while you were barely upright, arms braced against your knees to keep you from falling flat into the dirt, Opera was impeccable as always; looking at you with a mote of concern on their face. "Do you need a moment?"

You needed several moments. Actually, you needed a hot bath and then a cup of pain-relieving tea as you settled into your bed. Hell, even taking an impromptu nap in the torn-up grass sounded like a lovely idea.

But you remembered how easily you were snared by the drooling vine just a few days ago; how weak and helpless you were, how one tiny mistake had almost cost you your life.

Then, to make things even worse was the vivid memory of Shichiro's reaction to you being in danger. That small glimpse of his demonic nature, triggered because of his worry. And then there was how Sullivan and Iruma reacted when they learned about the incident, thanks to Shichiro who didn't gloss over how close you had been to death.

You had both them - plus Shichiro - plastered to your side for the better part of the next few days making you wonder who was the mother hen, you or them.

But their reactions made you realize something. For the first time in your life, you had people who really cared if you were hurt - or worse. They actually loved you, just as much as you loved them.

Your thoughts strengthened your resolve as you stood taller despite your legs feeling like jelly. You were going to do your best to make sure your loved ones never had to worry about you. Or rather, at the very least, you could protect yourself from an overgrown weed.

"Not yet," You bit out, earning a faint proud look as Opera's tail twitched. They shifted, holding their hands in a defensive position. You took it as your cue to lunge once more, attacking as they had instructed. A swinging kick, then a sharp jab to try and break their defense. Your movements felt sluggish even to you, so it was no surprise as Opera easily blocked each strike.

But as they had mentioned before; you were new to the exercises they were putting you through, so the focus wasn't on landing the hits. It was fluidly moving from one action into the next and not having to pause to think about how to strike next.

You continued on, trying to press past your muscles screaming in pain and your limbs shaking from exertion. Your strikes became sloppy, and Opera put a stop with a sweeping kick to your legs.

In that split-second, you feared crashing onto the ground - only for Opera to catch and lower you gently to the loose dirt.

You swore the damned demon was faster than light.

"You mustn't press yourself too much, my lady." They spoke as you stared up at the sky, still trying to figure out what exactly just happened.

You looked up into their ruby eyes. "...I need to be stronger, so everyone doesn't worry about me."

Opera's ears twitched as they tilted their head slightly. "We will always worry about you, just as you will always worry over master Iruma."

"Iruma is different," You protested. "He's...."

"Your child, just as much as you are Lord Sullivan's," Opera interrupted gently. "And we both know Shichiro will worry no matter how strong you become."

You sat up slowly, your mind trying to process the idea. Yes, you had adopted Sullivan as a father figure - someone to go to for help (the few times you were desperate enough to actually ask someone else for help.) - and he did dote on you, but the thought he might feel as protective over you as you felt towards Iruma was still a difficult pill to swallow.

You were an adult. You had taken care of yourself for years.

...as had Iruma, despite being a child. And that fact made you even more protective of him.

If the hints you picked up were true, Sullivan was far older - and probably saw your few decades of life as nothing, and considered you a child.

"... what about you?" You asked to turn your thoughts away from that realization. "I know you serve dad, and you're Shichiro's friend..."

Opera tilted their head once more, studying you intently with those piercing eyes. "When I first enrolled at Babyls, it was chaos. The strong students preyed upon the weak, and the rules meant nothing. The teachers let the students run wild outside of classes. But between my kohai and myself, we brought peace and order to the student body - and Lord Sullivan hired teachers who cared for the students outside of class. 

“I thought Babyls couldn't improve after that - that it was the best it could be - but you and Master Iruma have already made a powerful impact that I feel has made it even better. And if you can do that in just a few short months, how much of a positive impact can you two make on the rest of the Netherworld?"

Your stomach twisted even more. You had been so busy just trying to survive, you had been unaware of making any impact.

But... you recalled the students now taking refuge in your library, finding it a quiet sanctuary. The misfits calling you mom, and how you would have discussions with the Literature batra as well as others about philosophical ideas where demons and humans seemed to have drastic ideas.

"That is why I serve you and Master Iruma," Opera finished as they helped you to your feet. "Because you have earned my trust and respect despite being human."

--+--

Monday came, and you were faced with a difficult choice. Kitten had bonded with you quicker than you could have hoped for, but to the point he thought he needed to be at your side constantly.

So the thought of making him stay home with just the imps as company left you feeling more than a little torn. Which must have been obvious on your face as you shared pieces of your breakfast with Kitten.

"Why do you look so sad, dear?" Sullivan coo'd as he appeared, hand falling on your shoulder in a reassuring manner.

"It's silly," You tried to dismiss as you watched the kitten devour the small piece of egg, making adorable 'omnomnom'  noises all the while.

Sullivan sat down beside you, his hand finding yours. You looked up and realized the concern in his eyes. "If it's making you sad, then it is not silly. I would hate a repeat of before."

Your stomach squirmed guiltily as you recalled that dark period not too long ago. Yet at the same time, it made your heart warm with the reminder of how much he cared. "It's nothing like that. I… I just didn't like the idea of leaving the little one here all day by himself."

"Well then, don't!" Sullivan smiled. "I am the chairdemon, after all, and I'm certain there are no rules against this adorable creature keeping you company all day."

"It wouldn't be unprofessional or whatever?" You asked, barely daring to hope.

Sullivan's smile turned slightly mischievous. "Darling, we're demons. I frankly don't care what you do as long as it makes you happy."

Which is how you ended up with Kitten riding your shoulder through the day, apparently quite happy and content; and if he wasn’t on your shoulder, he was snuggled underneath the desk - either watching the students or trying to nap.

The students quickly warmed up the kitten, but he was not as eager to meet the students. He would usually just stare at them, or even puff up his fur until he was nothing more than a ball of fluff and hiss.

Which, really, only increased the cuteness factor.

Near mid-day, you were surprised to see Jazz trying to play with the kitten peek around the corner of the desk leg as the demon dangled one of the toys you had brought for the cat. (Granted, you didn't recall leaving the toy somewhere it was easy to reach, and had a sneaking suspicion his 'snake fingers' were at work again).

"He's... cute," Jazz commented after a moment, breaking your concentration on the paperwork you had been doing. "I didn't think familiars were cute, though I suppose Eggy-sensei is awfully fluffy...."

"He's not a familiar," You answered, smiling as you saw the kitten finally pawing at the fuzzy worm on a string. The brown tabby paw darted out from beneath the desk, sharp needle claws extended and trying to reach the toy. "But I think familiars can be cute, considering appearances can be deceiving and all."

The teen was quiet, but had a thoughtful expression on his face. "... what if they're as fluffy and cute as they appear, though? What does that say about a demon?"

"Well," You started, having an odd feeling the conversation topic had a deeper meaning than just beating away an awkward silence while Jazz played with the kitten. "I mean, I'm not the expert of familiars, but from what I've read, I think it just means at their core, that demon is..." Was it a good thing to say that a demon was a 'good person'? That they have a good heart? You considered it a valuable trait, but some traits in the Netherworld were different.

Eh, you were gonna take the chance. "It's a good thing," You continued when Jazz looked up questioningly after your long pause. "Sure it may not look traditionally strong, or vicious as some, but sometimes when push comes to shove, the softest, kindest people can become ruthless powerhouses when needed. I personally respect those individuals the most."

Your suspicion was proven true as Jazz looked away, seemingly embarrassed but a faint smile on his lips. You'd have to ask Iruma later if he knew anything about his classmate's familiar.

"I never thought about it that way, Mom," He admitted after a moment, your nickname still causing a warm feeling to fill your chest. Which turned sour as he looked back, embarrassment gone and replaced with the devilish smirk you were more familiar with. “So, Iruma states you and professor Balam spent the weekend together. Is that true?”

It was your turn to blush. “What professor Balam and I do outside of school hours isn’t food for the rumor mill, Jazz,” You tried to chide in your best authoritative voice, though it hardly succeeded as he grinned wider.

“Mmhmm. You know, there may be a betting pool about how long it’ll be before Iruma becomes a big brother. Especially with the professor having been late twice now to class after the lunch period.”  

Words failed you as you gaped at him, his words echoing in your mind as you acutely recalled the events that happened just a few nights earlier. It was a long moment that Jazz seemed to gloat in before you were able to rebuke him.

“Don't you have classes you need to go to?” You finally spluttered, sure your face was as red as a cherry, making the teen laugh.

--+--

"Despite anything I say," You sighed as you collapsed on the couch in the biology prep room during the lunch hour, careful of Kitten who you held close to your chest until you were settled. "Everyone is convinced the kitten is my familiar."

"There have been instances of the offspring of a familiar taking over their parent's contract," Shichiro offered as he set a tray of tea and snacks down on the table before taking a seat next to you. He didn’t hesitate before pulling you close to his side with an arm wrapped around your waist. You instantly melted into his, soaking in his warmth as you rested your head on his shoulder. "... not usually as young as he is, however,” He amended as his other arm reached across to scratch against Kitten's cheek.

The kitten arched up against the hand that was larger than his body, his purr rumbling loudly. Despite Shichiro's initial hesitation about you taking in the feral kitten, it was obvious that he was quickly growing fond of it - especially as he realized it wasn't a danger to you.

For now, at least.

"Have you figured out what he is?" You asked as you carefully reached for a snack, only to be jostled as Shichiro sat up straighter, obviously excited. Except despite the sudden movement, he froze just as quickly. You were about to ask what was wrong when a vine casually descended from the ceiling. You watched with a smidge of awe as the vine was able to wrap around a book and pull it from one of the shelves before delivering it to Shichiro’s outstretched hand.

"I didn't want to move," He explained sheepishly at your amused yet curious expression. You laughed as you snuggled more into his side after grabbing one of the sandwiches to nibble on and share with Kitten. Shichiro mindlessly stroked your hair with one hand while the other placed the book in his lap and carefully flipped through the pages.

You recognized the art inside the book almost instantly. Not because of the creatures it depicted, but the careful intricate style that was intimately familiar to you by now. "Wait, is this one of yours?"

"It was one of my first research books," He explained distractedly. "I think I started this one shortly after graduating from Babyls. I had wanted to study some of the lesser known creatures that were depicted more in legends and rumors than in anything.” The page flipped open to a yellowed page of a cat curled on a fallen log, a dark coat with lighter spirals much like the pattern you were barely able to see on the kitten. “I'm pretty sure our little kitten here is a Kausa, also colloquially known as Library Cats, since they're found in old temples and abandoned ruins,” He explained as you read his handwritten notes. “Which makes sense, considering there is an abandoned temple for an ancient deity in the forest. And the good news is their main diet is small birds and rodents, though they do enjoy feeding off the spirits and mana that linger in such areas. "

"So, he isn't going to try to eat me when he grows up?" You asked, though you hadn't missed the term 'our kitten', causing your chest to warm inexplicably.

"He won't grow much bigger than a hellcat," He confirmed, his smile evident in his voice. "And maybe not even that big, considering he's a runt with ruined wings."

Your smile fell slightly as you looked at the small wing that was deformed. You had watched him many times try to use it whenever he jumped and had to agree that there was certainly something wrong with it as it never seemed able to expand completely. Worse still, you had heard more than a few students, and even a couple teachers, make a few disparaging remarks about his defect when they had visited.

"I don't care. I love him, imperfections and all," You swore stubbornly, saying the words you had to bite back when you overheard the others. "It doesn't make him any less perfect in my eyes."

There was only a short moment between your statement and suddenly being pulled into Shichiro's lap, displacing his book. Both of his muscular arms wrapped around your waist while he buried his face against your shoulder. "You humans are such fascinating beings," He muttered, warm and reverent. “Compassionate and accepting to no end.”

At first you were a little confused until the realization hit you. You hadn't even considered the dual implications until then; after all, the kitten wasn’t the only being you loved that demon society had difficulty accepting. You set the kitten down next to you so you could shift in his lap until you were facing him. You cupped his face in your hands as you met and held his gaze. 

"I will fight whoever states that you're not handsome, or beautiful, or whatever,” You stated firmly. “Same with our little kitten."

His smile was reflected in his eyes while dark pink stained his cheeks as he blushed. "As touched as I am, please don't start picking fights."

"Opera's been teaching me," You defended playfully as you smiled. "And I have my runes ready at all times now." To prove your point, you let go so you could pull back the arm of your coat (the same style that many of the teachers wore) to show the defensive runes you had carefully drawn.

Your weekend escapade had proven that you needed to be prepared at all times.

Yet despite your playful attitude, Shichiro narrowed his eyes. "No fighting. Please."

You were tempted to push the point - if just to be ornery - but sighed dramatically. "Fine. I won't pick a fight. But if I ever hear someone insult you or Kitten, I won't stand by idly. You both mean too much to me."

He sighed but held you closer, apparently unable - or unwilling - to argue that. So you allowed the subject to slide and instead turned back to the book that had been nearly forgotten.

Shichiro had two art styles; one was the soft, cute drawings of his picture books while the other was hyper-realistic as he did careful drawings of his research subjects. The Kausa looked as if it would start moving and continue stalking along the yellowed page. The detail he had put into his artwork-- samples of the creature's claws and fur, the shape of a lithe body and matching leathery wings-- left you breathless.

"Do you think if I was a demon, I'd have a familiar like that?" You asked as you read his notes. Familiars were - of course - an area of interest for you. You had done research into the area, especially about humans having familiars-- such as the relationship between Kalego and Iruma --with little success. A human summoning a demon was well documented, but not as a familiar. More like how you had summoned Sullivan so many months ago.

"The familiar that responds to ones’ summoning is usually a reflection of a demon's true self; their desires, ambitions..." He mused thoughtfully. "Having a Kausa would probably fit you. They are often very defensive of their home and kits, avoid conflict, and prefer places others have abandoned."

You indulge yourself with the daydream despite knowing you would never have such a bond with Kitten. After all, you just happened to stumble upon him - saving and adopting him said nothing about who you were. 

Well, other than you lacked forethought and self-preservation. And would likely take in anything that needed help

But if he really was as harmless as Shichiro thought (well, as harmless as anything in the Netherworld was) he could become a companion - just like an earth cat.

Or he could grow into a cold, aloof adult that wanted nothing to do with you. Again, just like an earth cat.

Only time would tell.

"Nigyul is your familiar, right?" You asked after a moment, seeing the little dragon watching inquisitively from above, as if not sure he wanted to enjoy the cuddle pile. Though something in your memory gave you the feeling you weren’t quite right.

"Well, not exactly," Shichiro admitted, looking up to the dragon before holding out his hand. Nigyul chirped before jumping down and curling his tail around Shichiro's fingers for support, reminding you strongly of the first time you had met the dragon. "My bond with him is like a demon and a familiar's bond, but I didn't summon him. Instead, it was more like I cultivated him." He saw your curious expression and continued. "I found his seed years ago and carefully nurtured his growth with my mana, training him to respond to it as a familiar would its master's commands."

"That's awesome..." You trailed off as you realized Kitten had climbed up to Shichiro’s shoulder, hesitant but curious about the dragon that was currently smaller than him. You were tense, worried about how they would react to one another as the kitten carefully stalked down Shichiro’s arm to smell the tiny dragon.

But instead of acting aggressively, Nigyul allowed Kitten a moment to smell before nuzzling the kitten and even trying to groom him, making your heart warm.

"Well, Nigyul’s definitely like his master," You teased, looking up to Shichiro who blushed.

"Well, he is our kitten," He teased back. “Of course we both want to take care of him.”

It was your turn to blush as you buried your face as best as you could into his chest. You felt as well as heard Shichiro's chuckle as he held you tight after setting down both dragon and kitten. Part of you wished you could just melt into him like before, letting all your worries melt away. Yet…

“Er, speaking of which,” You mumbled awkwardly after a moment. “Jazz let it slip earlier that apparently the Misfits have a… betting pool on us.”

“Oh?” He merely hummed as he ran his fingers through your hair, unable to see the blush growing deeper on your face.

You knew he needed to know, or at least he deserved to know considering how he was involved in the bet. Yet actually voicing the words seemed near impossible. Despite everything - despite knowing how much he cared for you and would never intentionally cause you to feel ashamed or embarrassed… you were worried how he would react.

You also supposed part of it was because of your own inner turmoil on how Jazz’s words affected you. Yes, you were fairly embarrassed that Iruma’s classmates had such a bet… but you remembered the conversation you had with Sullivan and Iruma. The pictures Opera showed you, and how ever since you had moments of wondering what it would be like.

To think the whole class was betting on the inevitability made you… happy.  

Eventually you gathered your courage and spoke. “They, uh, kind of have made some assumptions,” You began. “About… why you’ve been late to a few classes lately.”

His fingers paused for a moment, his shock evident in his voice as he simply went. “Ah.”

“Mhmm,” You agreed as you steeled yourself for the biggest point. “And… also when Iruma might get a younger sibling.”

You could feel his breath catch as he processed your words. The hand resting on your hip shifted so his thumb could brush against the soft curve of your stomach. “A sibling…” He repeated quietly as if to himself.

“I mean, I am taking that contraceptive potion,” You added as the silence stretched on. “Not that we’ve… you know. Gone that far.”

Shichiro didn’t say anything, but held you a little tighter as he pressed his face against your neck. Yet another piece of his anatomy nudged against your thigh. At least part of him liked that idea.  

“I know it's probably too early in our relationship to really talk about those kinds of things,” You continued. “But, just as an FYI…”

“Right,” He agreed slowly. “I just… never really thought of the possibility before.”

You chewed your lip. “Well, to be honest… is it? I mean since we’re…. different?” You knew the act was a possibility now, but having results from it - having children… Was that a possibility, or were demons and humans too different to be compatible?

“There are a few legends and stories that speak of half-human demons, so if they are to be believed…” He trailed off as your stomach squirmed. You could remember how adorable he was in those pictures Opera showed you. And before coming to the Netherworld, you hadn’t been very keen on the idea of having children of your own, now…

Now you could see the appeal. It wouldn’t be like ‘families’ you were familiar with back on earth. You would have Shichiro. Iruma. Sullivan. Opera even…

“Some day in the near future, let’s talk more about this,” Shichiro spoke as he shifted, pulling back a little. “Because I think if we talked more today, we’d only end up fueling those bets.”

--+-- Su-Ki-Ma--+--

Within just a few days, Kitten became bolder and braver. Soon, he loved to wander around, proving to be as curious as an earth-kitten. It was fine as he explored the mansion at night as you knew the imps would keep an eye on him, and when he stayed within the confines of the library during the day. 

And then, not even the massive library could contain his curiosity.

Oddly enough, it was Marbas who brought Kitten back the first time. “I figured it would be best to bring him here after I found him wandering through my store room,” He said with a faint smile as he held up the yowling kitten by the scruff.

“I am so sorry!” You apologized as you accepted the kitten back. “I hadn’t even realized he had wandered off!”

Marbas, thankfully, only smiled as he shrugged good-naturedly. “Eh, I caught him before he killed himself, so it's all good.” The dark-haired demon reached to scratch Kitten between the ears. “You might want to keep a closer eye on him, however. I mean, he did knock over a few containers of strong acids when I was trying to catch him.”

You nodded and agreed you would. And after that, you tried. You really did. But keeping track of him and performing your work was impossible. Within days, you were interrupted every few hours by either a student or a teacher returning the furball. Thankfully most were amused by the antics. A few, however, were not.

Case in point: Kalego.

[onlyjaeyun]

thinking about the sb!universe so here are some scenes/headcannons i have:

• one day jay’s dad shows up to the office with shiah’s dad and shiah herself. jay’s dad drops that he believes it’s time to start the marriage process. shiah slips jay the ring she’s always wanted and tells her to make the proposal big and grand, and that they’ll act like it was all a surprise for the media. yn overhears and is devastated. my poor girly :( . that meeting is like 3,000 steps backward for jay and yn.

• yn showing up to flowers on her desk from the one guy she starts seeing from another dept. jay has someone send out a notice reminder that sending gifts with intent and dating amongst coworkers, even those in other departments is not recommended. he even asks giselle to investigate it as she works in HR, and she’s like uhmmm, ok?? giselle doesn’t take it seriously and snitches to yn. she’s like “GIRL UR MAN IS JEALOUSSSSS” 🤭🤭 when jay asks for a follow up a few days later giselle is like uhmmm…no response yet from my manager haha, we’re like super busy rn.

• the other boys of the seoul 4 and nayeon finding out yn is casually dating again and throwing random options at her in front of jay who can’t show jealous he is to prove a point.

ok enough of the jealousy, some cute stuff:

• yn and jay taking a weekend vacation when they get together and just being glued to each other all weekend. yn is so cuddly, especially after sex, which is new to jay. usually he keeps his distance in bed after his 3 rounds with miyeon or she leaves right away. he’s ready to go crazy when yn leaves the bathroom and comes back to the bed after being cleaned up and she just closes the distance between them (pee after sex so you don’t get a UTI girlies). his breath hitches in his throat and he knows he can stay like this forever.

• IK IK IK it’s too early in the smau to think about sb!yn and jay getting married and having children but i had to 😭 jay’s like in a serious emergency meeting after something goes wrong and his face is just stoic and he looks like he’s gonna kill someone in a few minutes. but then his 2 little children burst through the door after yn took her eyes off them for literally 30 seconds. they were supposed to wait outside of the meeting room to surprise him but their 4 year old daughter and 2 year old son don’t care. jay’s mood instantly changes when his children are suddenly jumping into his lap and gripping his arm with their little hands. he hasn’t seen them all week because of all the time he’s been spending in the office so he lets them stay. he gives him his pen and notebook to play with as they sit on his lap. yn opens the door a crack and makes silent eye contact with jay to say sorry, but he just silently assures her it’s fine and laughs at how one of the kids started drawing on his suit sleeve. when the meeting finishes he kisses their cheeks and thanks them for being so good during the meeting.

• yn and jay taking their first trip together and deciding to go shopping. jay buys everything for her and she’s like no no i didn’t even want it that much. he’s like baby u tried it on and stared at yourself in the mirror for 15 minutes smiling before u put it back. whenever yn needs something he just puts his black card in front of her and assures her that he has more than enough money for himself and that his princess deserves to be spoiled. and then yn fights him at the boba shop, insisting she’ll pay for this one thing 😭😭

a little nsfw hc for u too heehee

• sb!jay is probably obsessed with creampies, he loves to come in yn and watch it just drip out ooooh. if yn’s on bc, he’d go crazy 😭😭 when yn’s like yk i still have the chance of getting pregnant, jay’s just like well baby we’ll be parents then, i don’t mind. we love a man who accepts that pleasurable actions have their consequences.

this one for shits and giggles:

• jay learning about yn’s family and deciding enough is enough. he hires a hitman to get them 😍😍😍

i literally love all of these so so so much and am just super grateful to know you guys enjoy this as luch as i do. i'll absolutely use a few of ghese ideas as inspo and genuinely can't wait to indulge in most of them. ESPECIALL THE CREAMPIE ONE BC THATS SO HIM 👀👀👀 and pls involving the boys and nayeon when she does start dating again will make things so much better so you bet your ass i'll use that one 🤭🤭 thank you so much baby, your brain is so sexy i hope you have the best day ever and know i love and appreciate you so much 🥺🤍💖🧸

[classicintp]

i wish i could prove this without violating someone's privacy and getting in trouble for it but one of my co-workers who is very.. uhh. let's just call him ignorant for now, changed his last name legally from his birth dad's last name to his step dad's last name because of family drama that is none of your business. His first name is super common and is shared with 2 other people here so we call all 3 of them by their last names and over the last 6 months while everyone was continuing to call him his birth name (because, look, honestly, it really is difficult to adjust to changing someone's name you've all but carved into stone in your mind and memory) I have gone on a pissing-people-off-by-correcting-them crusade. It was hard for me too, but I changed the habit, and so everyone else can too.

he doesn't even really care if others adjust to it, it was a personal issue and if everyone else continued to call him by his birth surname he said it wouldn't affect him because legally it's different and that's what matters to him, but to me names matter so I correct people and had all of his work credentials painstakingly changed even amongst opposition from higher ups. And it's not even strictly on the principle of contemporary transgender issues, names have always been very very important to me before I was even aware transgender people existed (i live in the southern us, not my fault), but I'll be god-damned if I didn't risk my job and health to bitch and complain DIRECTLY in favor transgender issues because of it. After over 6 months of making whole rooms uncomfortable with loud interruptions, hands slamming on tables, and direct eye contact correcting people from referring to this long time coworker from name 1 to name 2 and this same motherfucker tells me today he doesn't get why a transgender person (not the term he used) thinks they can "force" others to call them by a girl's name just because they think they're a girl (same for trans men and boy names but that wasn't his specific rhetoric)

just imagine this.. imagine someone saying something that is ignorant, not specifically hateful just.. they don't get it, they don't get it in a way that has unfairly bred hate and they don't see it. they feel uncomfortable and due to that discomfort they say this stupid thing and

everyone at the table just kinda stares at him quietly, almost confused I think; though he didn't make anyone change to using his new name, he has expressed appreciation to everyone that they had changed, and expressed appreciate to me for putting in the work to get his work credentials updated. He'd been working there for a decade, in the past he has expressed he felt respected.

i am probably the only progressive at the table, i think literally everyone else is a trump supporter, fox news loving, tucker carlson mentee and they all have endured my relentless lectures reminding them over and over to respect this man and his decision to change his name. they all see my effort swept under the rug by this utterly stupid comment because they want to agree with him, they really do, they hate "THE TRANS AGENDA" and YET they know they can't say anything because they have been made well aware by me for six mother-fucking months how this deadnaming issue has affected a cishet, how trans issues aren't actually some bogeyman agenda and how they affect everyone. They rolled their eyes and ribbed me about it but they still have such a slight modicum of respect for me because of the experiences they've shared with me on the job site and my absurd work ethic that for 15 full seconds they see it now, they see what the FUCK I've been talking about. 15 seconds is so short but when 24 people suddenly go quiet and look at you, it becomes an eternity, and he felt that weight, and he said "oh" and everyone said "uh huh" or an uncomfortable "haha" or some other such murmurring sound while I just kinda shook my head a little bit in the utmost frustration and i hope it made just a little bit more fucking sense to everyone.