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arionawrites · 9 months ago

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arionawrites updated writeblr intro

who the hell am i?

my name is ariona! i also go by ari (common nickname), rio (occasional nickname), and whatever the hell else people wanna call me (within reason). fun fact, my childhood nickname was bird because when i started talking i apparently sounded like a parrot (:

i’m in my mid-twenties (23 as of posting this; turning 24 in march!) and i have been writing since i was in the second grade, or about 7-8 years old. i’ve wanted to be a published author since the fourth grade (10 years old). i have yet to achieve that “published” thing, but i’m working towards it every day and am hoping to have something published somewhere by the time i’m 25 (or while i’m 25, i’m not too picky lol)

i’m a chronically ill lesbian who tries to include type one diabetic characters in everything i write and almost exclusively write queer characters.

i currently work in before and after school childcare, though i am in the process of finding a new job that provides me better stability as well as the time to be able to focus on my writing more. my hope is some kind of office job, or, even better, something in a library!

what kind of things do i write?

it honestly depends on the vibes, man. i’m happy to write (almost) every genre so long as i have a story idea that fits it that i want to write. however, i do have some common things that i tend to write more often than the rest, such as:

queer romance (usually the romance part is not the primary focus, though i do have a sapphic romance novel in the works)

modern fantasy

coming of age

found family

complex and complicated family dynamics

i also have a tendency to post weird little ramble-y thought pieces in random points in time (would it count as poetry? i honestly don’t know). if you’re interested to seeing any of it, my writing tag is #ariwrites !! i’ll add the tag to this post as well for convenience sake!

what projects do i currently have?

so, here’s the thing: i struggle with completing things and tend to have a bunch of new ideas and kind of leave old ideas in the dust. because of this, i’ve decided to take almost all of my current projects and scrap them? actually, scrap isn’t the right word - i’m starting from scratch with a majority of them! i think there are some ideas that i can actually combine into one story rather than them being separate, and a lot of it is just a kind of conglomerated mess that i am in the process of detangling in order to move forward in a more coherent and structured way. however, i do have two projects that i am not starting from complete scratch. i am remaking the outlines for these two stories, though, and then rewriting them from the beginning!

here are those two projects:

rotten

a zombie apocalypse scenario that i originally started writing as a nanowrimo project in 2022 that i did not complete. matter of fact, i only got a couple of chapters in before the spark fizzled out. however, i love the characters i have created and the bones of the story i had in mind, which is why i am choosing to restructure the outline and try again. it will likely change quite a bit as i remake the outline and iron out the details in new ways, but the basic breakdown of the story is this: it’s three years into an apocalypse that has left a mere remnant of humanity in its wake. we have a cast of four main characters (maybe six, depending on how you look at it). one is an older brother taking care of his siblings, both of whom have yet to reach double digits in age. one is a grumpy pessimist who thinks it’s pointless building bonds when everyone else she knew before is almost definitely dead and anyone else she meets will end up dead, too. one is a former optimist who has been weighed down by the realism the apocalypse has forced upon him, who hates being alone (being lonely) but has been betrayed by every single person he has come across since the fight to survive began, and he doesn’t really know what to do about that anymore. one was raised privileged and pampered by a paranoid and eccentric millionaire who was also absolutely certain that doomsday was inevitable (hey, turns out he was right!) and therefore raised his daughter teaching her every survival skill he could and preparing her for the worst, so she is, realistically, the best person to have on your side in an apocalypse—and yet she has been alone the entirety of the three years. all of them are queer and all of them will have to learn that they can rely on one another after stumbling into each other’s lives. also, despite only one of them being the older brother of those kids, the other three will eventually come to an agreement that they would burn the rest of what’s left of the world if it meant keeping them warm, so that’s cool, i guess.

hot chocolate

this is the sapphic romance novel i mentioned above! started writing it on a whim with literally zero plan for it last year, made it my camp nano project, and somehow managed to hit 30k words before the lack of preparation caught up with me. the title is a working title and might change upon the rewrite, but i absolutely adore this story so far and am very excited to get an outline busted out so that i can get back to writing it. the breakdown is this: mallory james moves in with her big brother when she’s eighteen. it’s the summer after her graduation and every single plan that she had for her future has been rendered pointless and now she’s trying to find her footing in a life that is completely different from the one she had been living only a few months ago. her brother, eddie, is going to do his best to be there for her and help her heal, but mallory doesn’t want to heal. she doesn’t even want to acknowledge that there’s anything she needs to heal from. unsure of what to do next, she enrolls in the local community college and meets a few people who somehow manage to become her kinda sorta friends — ellie, ash, and bee. featuring sapphic love, healing from loss and family trauma, finding stability and reason in an unexpected place, and a side character who is definitely polyamorous but entirely unaware that that’s a thing he’s able to be.

alright, i think that’s all i want to put here! i’ll definitely edit this with updates as information changes and as old projects become new again and things like that, but it’s a new year (the fact that i’m posting this in february is absolutely not important at all) and i’m trying to make ‘24 something worthwhile. if you’ve read this far, thank you so much and i hope everyone is having an incredible day/night !!

#writeblr #writblr #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr #writeblr introduction #writeblr intro #aritalks #ariwrites #lowkey not the biggest fact of the way i formatted this but i’m too lazy to remake it rn so i’ll leave it as is for now and redo it later

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zhongster · 2 years ago

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Hii!! I know you wrote a long thread of Eddie Munson burping headcanons but do you have any more headcanons of him? I’ve read your thread a thousand times and still need MORE if not that’s okay you don’t have to answer :)

Hehehe always, i think about this man literally 24/7 so i most definitely have more dear anon, here’re some more of the things my friend and I talked about

Warning for sorta mentions of scat?? Idk i’m not really into scat but it’s kinda there a little bit

THIS IS KINK CONTENT, DON’T READ IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT

He burps on the toilet

Like he’ll be sitting there taking a record breaking shit and he keeps letting out full on belches

And Wayne can hear them from the living room

I’ve mentioned he gets really intense morning gas

So he’ll be in the bathroom belching while brushing his teeth and shit

Super obnoxiously

AU where Eddie’s a gamer YouTuber/twitch streamer

He does Mukbangs and people make comps of his burps

Eddie burping while on the phone

Like right into the receiver

Or he pulls the receiver away and whoever he’s talking to can still hear him because they’re so LOUD

There’s a scene where he looks away to cough into his shoulder and i feel like it looks like a burp:

Eddie in the shower and the hot water pounding on his back is making him burp

Meanwhile Wayne making coffee in the kitchen: 😐🧍

Wayne is definitely both surprised and not surprised

He also definitely let out the most gurgly-gnarly-guttural milk belch after this scene:

Tell me I’m wrong

Sometimes he gets super agro when he has to burp but it won’t come out

Usually when that happens he’ll very aggressively dig either his fingers or his knuckles into his tummy

Occasionally he’ll hurt himself doing that 💀

He loves it when someone pats his chest to help him get a burp out

Airplanes definitely make him burpy too

Something about the altitude

Whenever he gets the hiccups he pounds on his chest and forces them to go away by letting out a super long belch

Although sometimes they turn into hiccup burps

He HATES hiccup burps so much

Whenever he gets a painful burp he has to give some kinda one liner

Like “I think that one cracked a fuckin rib”

I love the idea of Wayne being super surprised by just how much Eddie burps

He’s like “Damn Boy! Where the hell is all that coming from?!”

Wayne definitely has some burping talent of his own too

So Eddie’ll respond “From you old man”

Eddie hiding behind his hair to burp

Like this hehe:

He thinks it helps muffle it but it definitely doesn’t 💀

Steddie AU where Steve and Eddie are famous

Eddie’s ofc the lead singer of Corroded Coffin who’s made it Metallica big and Steve is a model/twitch streamer

And Eddie constantly burps in the background of Steve’s videos

And sometimes Steve’ll be like “Babe I’m filming 😭”

And people clip Eddie’s burps in the background

Lol and the comments’ll be like “It’s not a Steve Harrington video if his bf doesn’t burp in the background”

And someone responds to that comment like “You did not just call the lead singer of corroded coffin “Steve’s boyfriend””

Eddie having to burp so bad while he’s driving that he actually has to pull over

He definitely gets stress burps too

And he definitely can’t control it at all

This is the only time he ever really gets embarrassed by his burps

(Hehe the video i put earlier in this post 👀)

Also have some photos of his tummy:

Sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night super gassy

And he has to let out several lengthy belches back to back before he can get comfortable enough to go back to sleep

But he’s so grumpy and sleepy all he wants to do is knock tf back out

Back to the fame thing Eddie definitely burps on the red carpet and hides behind Steve’s shoulder when he does

And the paparazzi have definitely caught a few of his burps on camera

Also there’s this clip of River Phoenix burping in the movie “My Own Private Idaho” that my friend and I definitely think was not scripted (I’ll add the video in another post since tumblr’s a bitch and won’t let me put two vids in one post)

And we were like “Imagine actor Eddie accidentally burping during a take and the producers keeping it in the movie”

And then he’d get asked in an interview “Was that a real burp and was it scripted?”

And he’d be like “Yes it was real and no it was not scripted 💀”

#burping #eructophilia #belching #stranger things #eddie munson #steddie

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alsjeblieft-zeg · 1 year ago

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465 of 2023

1) How do you like your grilled cheese?

I really prefer croque-monsieur, I have that memory of my grandma making them for me and my sister. It's such a comfort food for me. Grilled cheese is not an European thing.

2) Where did you go on your last vacation?

To Poland, I loved it.

3) Who was the last person you were in a car with?

My husband.

4) Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

In a happy place.

5) Where are you at noon everyday?

Whenever. It depends on what I have to do.

6) How many speeding tickets have you gotten?

I don't even have a licence.

7) Do you like anyone?

I like many people. Only a few I truly love, though.

8) What is the last thing you said out loud?

Something about my husband being grumpy. He caught a cold and he's kinda upset about it and he snaps at everyone because of that.

Okay but where is the question?

10) What do you think of winter?

I hate winter. Too cold, too dark, too depressing. My only exception is Christmas.

11) What do you do for relaxation?

Walking along the beach, reading books, listening to the music.

12) Last person you had a meaningful conversation with?

Probably my psychiatrist. He told me something really meaningful.

13) Do you use a plan book?

I do. I have a calendar planner and I note just everything there.

14) At what age do you plan on having kids?

Never.

15) When was the last time you swam?

I can't swim. Yeah I was raised at the sea.

16) Last time you cried?

The only time I really cried was in April, when I heard bad news at work.

17) Do you keep your clothes organized?

Kind of, by type.

18) How do you make headaches go away?

I go to sleep. I don't take painkillers.

19) Have you owned a beta fish before?

No, I'm not even sure what it is.

20) If you moved out of state where would you go?

I've never lived in any state, so how can I move out of state?

21) How old is your best friend?

51 and he's my husband.

22) Did you attend pre school?

I did. I didn't like it.

23) What do your shower curtains look like?

We have a sliding glass door there.

24) Did you have an imaginary friend as a child?

No, but me and my sister had OCs. We created a world of anthropomorphic cats.

25) How do you make eggs?

Scrambled or hard-boiled.

26) Where do you wash your clothes?

In the washing machine lol.

27) Which parent do you look most like?

I look like a mix of them both. My dad's eyes and ears, my mum's nose, and a unique eye colour. My sister has our dad's nose and his eye colour.

28) Who are the neighbors who live to the right of you?

Some Italian man and his daughter.

29) What are your thoughts on Tom Cruise?

Omg I feel aversion to him.

30) What is the next vehicle you wish to buy?

I don't think I do.

31) Do you pay bills online or by mail?

I make money transfers in my mobile bank app.

32)Do you talk to the hottest kid in your grade?

What? I'm not in school, but even when I was, I didn't care who "the hottest kid" was.

33) What is something stressful you will deal with next week?

I can't predict the future.

34) What is something in your home that you collect?

Pens, notebooks, band t-shirts, keyrings, postcards, fridge magnets.

35) What did you do last night? Slept, probably.

36) Who did you last see?

My husband, sitting next to me.

37) How do you take your coffee?

I don't drink coffee anymore.

38) What is the oldest thing in your fridge?

The fridge itself lol.

39) On your keyboard what key is wearing out from pressing it so much?

So far all of them are visible, but I kinda expect it to be E, because it seems to be most used.

40) Where do you put your keys when you come home?

Back in my backpack.

41) Where do you go for Thanksgiving?

We don't celebrate it in Europe.

42) How old will u you be in 2010?

Damn this survey is old. I was 23.

43) What actor/actress would play you in a movie?

No, thanks.

44) How much cash is in your wallet?

None, I always use a card.

47) If you were starving to death would you eat a pet?

No, My cats are like my children. I'd rather starve than eat them.

48) Ever been to Alabama?

Never been to the US at all.

49) What kind of accent do you have?

West-Flemish. Typical for my area.

50) What kind of alcoholic drinks are in your fridge right now?

None. We don't keep alcohol in the fridge.

#survey #q&a survey #random survey

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sysig · 5 years ago

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Good morning I am filled with many emotions

#I'm just gonna go ahead and do a 24 hour recap in the tags or something like that lol #So - yesterday - pretty uneventful excepting Minecraft until about 3PM. Ma comes home and we've been planning to go shopping #And free laptop diagnosing in fact I think we did that first #I talked for most of the car ride because the movement of a car makes my brain to mouth filter disappear it's great very relaxing lol #Oh no wait we went to the bank first and I deposited almost enough money for my new laptop in there yaaaay ;u;#Also there was a surly man in front of me in line who was very unhappy about having to pay for his son's lease??? He was grumpy :(#Luckily my favourite banker there rescued me and we had a casual chat yay #Then we went to the free computer diagnostic and they said ''Yeah we do free ones but it has to be on to run a diagnostic''#So this is the second piece of paper I've put ink to that needed to be thrown away because Nothing Can Be Done #So yeah that one's dead lol I get to look up YouTube videos on how to take this bad boy apart #The woman there was very nice tho she gave me hints and tips on how to take it apart without smashing it and also looked for a short #-cut because apparently older models had a removable external harddrive lol wouldn't that be just too easy #We went shopping and ma bought be another one of those nice-paged notebooks (and a book and one of those cooking brushes)#So now I'm all set when I inevitably fill up this one with church floorplans! Lol #Then we came home and watched YouTube videos for like two hours and I finally stumbled to bed at like 10 or 11 and woke up something like 7 #And I just watched Dan's new video and am filled with emotions #So yeah pretty good!#Oh and my Admiral ZEX picture is getting lots of notes thank you #And I watched some old personal YT videos and got filled with soft melancholy ;u;

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beemers-hell · 3 years ago

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That very nice message juiced me up so I now I wanna explain my thought process behind how I personally characterize the MadCom crew + make my gal Eb fit in amongst the cast, this'll probably get long, here we go lol

[CW: Lots of cursing, forgive me, it’s ingrained in my vernacular]

The main 4 + Tricky since they're the ones I draw most often

Hank

Very quiet, is selectively non speaking. He can talk, its just that his mouth sitch makes it a hassle and their voice is strained as shit, so they stick with making noises/gestures/using sign language.

This quietness also aids in making him fucking terrifying to the general public. The aura they give off is incredibly threatening so standing in a room with him feels like you're being suffocated by chainsaws.

Despite the horrific energy they give off, he's fairly goofy. [Points at the M:PN Trailer] Not super goofy 24/7, but they don't take many things that seriously anymore.

Combat prowess is in combat itself. He does not care what weapon he's using, they're gonna wreck shit no matter what's in their hand atm.

Krinkels himself said it, they're kinda dumb when it comes to non-combat/survival related stuff. Probably the least intellectually strong out of the bunch.

Deimos

He's a cocky smartass. Dude's always got some quip ready to go and he makes up the bulk of the chatter within the main 4.

He's a cunning little bastard (affectionate) and usually has a plan ready to go for most situations the crew gets themselves into.

Obviously his main thing is his hackerman status, so the dude is probably the smartest intellectually, only beaten out by 2B.

His specialty is in ranged, mainly guns, of course. He's a sharpshooter first and foremost.

Is a bit oblivious [points at Madness Aggregation]. He's also like Hank where he doesn't take things that seriously.

Sanford

My favorite himbo [points at their voice lines]

Anyway the guy's alright in the brains department but he really shines in combat prowess, his main strength being melee of course.

He's a bit of a dope, mostly in a "I see a problem and my solution is to punch it" kind of way, though I wouldn't say they're dumb as rocks or anything like that.

They don't talk that much, but gets chatty when fighting cause trash talk.

This man has no control over his volume so he yells like 95% of the time where being quiet isn't necessary for survival.

They’re the tank of the crew! Yet somehow he’s gotten very good at not getting hit. Doesn’t matter though, cause even if they do get hit, their muscle mass just kinda absorbs most of the damage. Beefcake!

He's most like Hank, being a quiet, threatening force, but unlike them, he takes shit seriously and only eases up maybe 10% of the time.

I like the idea of him being a grumpy old man so that's what we're going with.

I'm fairly certain it's canon that he'd rather outsmart the enemy and not fight as much as he can, so I figure he's not as fine with fighting as everyone else, but he can still wreck shit if it comes down to it.

However, obviously, he makes up for it in being smart as hell, he's the crew's handler and main medic after all.

Like mentioned, he’s a quiet guy, but he’s more willing to talk than Hank is. He uses speech fairly regularly but he’ll most likely use ASL when communicating. He’s got bandages around his jaw in addition to his mask so I bet he’s also got a fucked up mouth.

Tricky

Clown my beloved

He may be absolutely batshit insane, but he's the smartest out of everyone in the cast. His minds had to have gone through a lot but the Hoffnar smarts are still active!

Clearly he's also in the "doesn't take shit seriously" camp but honestly who can blame him, he's got a reality breaking machine crammed in his head!

He's Loud! Loud! Loud! Also refers to himself in the 3rd person only (by using Clown in place of Tricky/any pronouns), there is no reason, he just does.

Though he is on the same level of wickedness as Hank, he's also clearly a lot more juvenile and carefree, would probably get along well with Deimos if things were different. He indulges himself in a lot of "childish" things like small toys and cartoons, he's into DJ-ing, he literally types in internet speak, you get the gist

Incredibly skilled and violent in battle, of course, but at the end of the day, he just wants to have an entertaining time, so he plays fair and only gets dirty when he’s gotten bored and decides he’s done with the opponent [points at both Madness Antipathy and Expurgation]

So Eb, ahaha

Ebony

She's almost like a mix of everyone! Smartass, Chatty, and Cunning like Deimos, Loud as hell and not super brainy like Sanford, has the ability to give off a threatening aura just by standing there and staring like Hank, and also shares their carefree attitude, and is almost just as wacky and out there like Tricky. The only person she doesn’t share much in common with is Doc, other than like, being able to use ASL, but that doesn’t pose much problem to them working together.

She’s best at melee, as made obvious by her owning her own custom chainsaw (affectionately dubbed “Lana”), but is slowly working on getting better with guns thanks to help from Deimos and Hank.

She’s a speedy mf and incredibly agile, which is part of why Doc recruited her to the squad.

She has a sort of weird way of talking, where she’ll use words to mean certain things when they’re not really interchangeable, but the gang’s learned how to decipher what she’s saying. [I.E She’ll say something like “I’m positively cracking” when she means to say “I’m very happy right now”]

In canon, she’s an autistic woman, so obviously that carries over. Is constantly stimming (her necklace is basically chewlery), she’s full of energy, she has her own routine and way of doing things that the others have learned, she has problems with her memory, and her sense of hearing and touch (as well as taste but that’s not relevant here) is really sensitive so she’s able to hear sounds and feel things the others can’t, but she’s forced herself to not let it overwhelm her while she’s busy. She deals with it back at base in her own space. If only the dudes knew why she locks herself in her corner practically every time they go home after a mission!

She’s mainly with the 4 so she can survive, but she likes taking down people she thinks are doing bad things, so she’s all for Doc’s cause. It’s also why she has no problem sneaking around to hang with Tricky, she likes the poor thing and doesn’t see him as a real threat to life around them, just Hank. Which she thinks is funny ngl

The best way to describe her connections to everyone is that she’s like a bro and third wheel to Deimos’ and Sanford, she’s a rebellious teenager (she is in her 20s) who wants to test their authority figure’s patience as much as possible towards Doc, she’s chummy with Hank and has a level of respect towards him that they almost return (they find it interesting that she managed to keep herself alive and healthy for as long as she did, all on her own, when she’s a “naïve pipsqueak”), and she’s got feelings for Tricky because reasons.

Forgive me for the long ass post, when I ramble, I ramble! ND homies can relate lmfao

#madness combat #beemers ocs #beemers lore #oc #original character

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vrnicky · 3 years ago

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Lets go with some...

Deal breakers and things they admire from someone!!

In a romantic way and also in general! Man, this is going to be long- REALLY LONG-

Gotta thanks @ratsoh-writes lol

Sans:

-His deal breaker is either hating his brother or just being an *ss. Dont get him wrong, he gets when someone is teasing or joking around but when he knows someone is a truly *ss, you've been ghosted. Romantically is literally the same without counting how much he loves his job, if the probably future s/o doesn't want him that busy as he gets then maybe dont be with him??? He can't let aside his job that he truly enjoy for someone that isn't even his s/o-

-Something he admire either platonically or romantically is if they're also invested in their work/studies. That they dont mind having to stay late doing something they enjoy and not being forced to do. If i say knowing to say puns is already too used but anyone can make jokes or be the joke; how the ones with the bubbly attitude just keep being themselves is also something he admires.

Papyrus:

-One of his deal breakers are totally seeing the bad side of everyone like, all of the people and world in general. He doesn't like hearing talking sh*t about someone who they dont know??? Just with the excuse of "just look how they dress!" If you do this, he may just snap at you and just to break any connections; he still believes in everyone until they show him otherwise. That goes for also romantically! Too much jealous and trying to manipulate him is also one.

-Since he already sees the good in everyone what isn't something he admire from someone??? Platonically how they stood up for what they want and dont listen to some "extras" who are just jealous; romantically is another different thing, no matter your appearence because none of them would care but how compasive and kind they are is something he admire from his crushes.

Blue:

-His deal breaker either platonically or romantically for him, is one. Being treated as a child, he HATES it with all of his soul being treated like glass just because he is "small" and cute?? Well, cute he knows it; i think all my sanses would not tolerate someone who hate their brother or talk bad about them. Its a rule.

-If he ever meet someone like him, small, cute at everyone's eyes but they used to win stuff (without going that high) thats something he admires because not all the time he gets what he wants when he ask for it because he is "small" but instead, they can do it without a problem? How cool! Romantically may be acting like you want to act without waiting for everyone to like you, you're the one making decisions, not them!!

Miere:

-He is the most chill with deal breakers and that because.. he doesn't care that much but people making him choose between them or another cigarette/videogames/etc actually makes him mad and mostly uncomfortable, okay, you want me to probably choose you? Then gain it, its stupid how you try to compare yourself to something that isn't alive, for god's sake...

-People who actually give sh*t to people who expect a lot from them, he feels.. protective mostly from those ones since you do you man! He's here to support you in that big step you actually want to do for yourself, not your family, friends, neighbors. He likes their bravery.

Red:

-His more deal breakers were slowly fading away as he got "comfortable" in the surface but he still has one, someone who is really interested in scaring him by getting behind him; yes, it may be stupid but he HATES it because that return him into the underground when he could have been dusted in a blink of an eye, NEVER ever do that to Red.

-If someone can flirty and not get flustered thats a "marry me please" from Red, mostly joking.. unless. But also the fact of compliments that aren't in a flirt fight, genuine compliments also get him and he really admire them, like a lot actually. Use it either just to fluster him and get him grumpy or just do it if you want him to crush on you and deny it.

Cap:

-Lazy people, hands down or well, dirty people. He just can't help it, he hates watching a place so trash down but dont get him wrong; if you work 24/7, he will let it pass and if you're already friends he may help you and even help you organize everything. But if you dont work or study and have everything as a chaos... he may never go to your house again, total mother attitude.

-Now, what you really expect from him, everything in order and everything clean, If you can keep that even with your job or study, he may start being interested in you, legit. Or also if you take your job really seriously, If you want something and you go for it without having to hurt anyone in the process may also crush him hard, he doesn't like the ones who likes to feel superior of other people. If you want to be a good leader, you have to treat your team in a good way if you're expecting them to do a great job.

Black:

-Say something sh*tty about his brother and he is so done with you right now, like, another type of done with you. His brother is his everything and you better not try to ask him to choose between him or you because, sorry not sorry but he's choosing Slim, you had that win from before. Also blaming them about everything they went through. No, get the f*ck away.

-The protective instict towards family is something he will always respect, no questions asked; If you either have older or younger brother doesn't matter, for him it matter how much you protect them for love, of course, dont make them useless, just, let them know how much you care for them and Black would soften a little.

Slim:

-If you call him a baby because of wanting to be with his brother or trying to protect him, you wouldn't get it so dont talk about something you wont understand. Also the fact of making fun of his insecurities affect him HARD. Mostly because of his jealousy, he cant help it because a lot of people are better than him but here you are, making fun of him. People are better than you, after all.

-If you're also touch starved, dont get him wrong, he doesn't want anyone to be touch starved but he may enjoy more if you are since he's clingy even with friends, you're just so soft and squishy! If you're his s/o in the other hand.. he's more flirty clingy or child clingy by your side, you decide lol.

Hans:

-He's really weird because platonically, he hates that his friends or people trust so easily and romantically is the opposite! He hates when his crush/s/o doesn't trust them. That has an explanation, he doesn't trust that easily even with his joker attitude and when he probably accept his feelings towards a person, he started trusting more and more but now they dont trust him??? Like??? That's a really deal breaker for him.

-Now, he admires those people who had been hurt before but still can see the bright side of everything, yet, he doesn't understand them enough. That works for just a friend or crush/s/o. He will admire them not letting a Karen ruin their day too lol.

Edan:

-Saying his brother didn't suffer enough, making him less at what he felt as a toddler in a fell world... yeah basically you gain hate instead of love from Edan. He HATES hearing sh*t of his bro but the sh*t that involves his past or scars. That's his true deal breaker. No matter if its for s/o or just friend, dont say sh*t of his brother.

-Now, one word, fashion. Yes, he may not like dressing up that much as the old lady squad or that but he legit admires people who make perfect outfits that help their tone of skin, hair color, eyes, body, etc look good!

Allen:

-If you remember him how he killed those children because HE PROMISED to give his world freedom.. get the f*ck out of his sight; the sad thing of that is, he wont get mad, he will get sad and his hate towards himself would be stronger, please, dont do it.

-Someone who is really the word generous, no matter if you may ended up without nothing but you help someone in need and not expecting something back. He may crush on you thanks to that, he can't help it.

Bliss:

-If you call him out by the fact he left his brother alone, he has his reasons and both of them already talk about that. Dont bring that conversation ever again in his face, he gets MAD at that. Also hurting or insulting children AND talking sh*t of his brother, he doesn't want anyone talking bullsh*t at the back of his older brother.

-If you're a EXPERT with kids, he may put you in a fricking shrine; dude, he has the attitude of Toriel, of course he will want someone that likes kids and know how to deal with them. Either for just a friend or s/o, he may crush on you tho lol.

Zen:

-Treat him like he is scary and he is some type of weird creature... He may ghost you if you do, yes, he may be more taller and bigger than Sans but he is more soft than him. Of course, he may want you to treat him with patience mostly, his memory isn't the best so he may ask you twice about everything. If you're not patience then you shouldn't have talked to him in first place.

-Again, Patience is the key of Zen and if you either have literally the soul trait of patience or is in your personality; he really admire how patience you can be with either elder people or small kids, he may slowly crush but he may not know.

Max:

-A little the same as Zen, treat him like a weird creature and he may be upset at it and a upset Max is no joke; also treating his brother like a child or abusing his bad memory to get away with something... now that something that would make him MAD, since the famine has passed, he may got the older brother role and someone treating bad his brother make his non-existing blood boil.

-While Zen wants someone with a patience attitude, he wants a kindness attitude, he just wants someone that would be nice to everything and everyone, not giving a single f*ck if is a human, monster, elder, kid, etc. He just want them to be friendly and kind, more because of his scary look with his softie attitude, two totally different things in only one monster; that's him.

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jess-rewatches-prodigalson · 4 years ago

Text

Head Case (S2, E6)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:03 - This clip of Malcolm in the car is from the pilot episode. I was so betrayed by this clip. Full disclosure - I’ve always had a thing for Malcolm’s jacket from the pilot episode. I just love it and I think Tom Payne looks cute in it. BUT - I was betrayed because Malcolm isn’t wearing my favourite jacket in the next scene (I was disappointed but not surprised). Rant about wardrobe over.

0:20 - This is weird to me. In the clip right before this, when Malcolm was coming to Claremont (wearing the awesome jacket) - Malcolm is clearly in emotional distress. He’s not in a good mood. BUT right here, when Malcolm is chatting with Mr. David he seems like he’s in a good mood. Not one of his manic good moods - just a regular good one.

0:32 - Anyone else notice how visibly uncomfortable Jessica AND Malcolm are? This whole Ainsley situation is literally going to destroy them both. :(

0:34 - sooooo Mr. David knows by now right? He has to? ALSO when the European FBI guy shows up in a few episodes this is going to be bad for Malcolm and Jessica right? The FBI guy will probs talk to Mr. David who will be like - oh yeah, they’ve had more ‘family meetings’ in the past 6 months than in the past 20 years.

1:22 - Sooooo this whole family honestly thinks Ainsley’s going to become a serial killer. From the tidbits of her childhood that we’ve seen, the way she treated Malcolm in Q&A, and generally how she acts when she wants to get a story - I’m not surprised. Read my thoughts on older episodes (1x7, 1x20, 2x5), I’ve always thought Ainsley was a sociopath or psychopath. The girl doesn’t show a lot of moral backbone or sympathy for anyone.

1:33 - Wait. Does this montage of Malcolm’s erratic behaviour mean that Malcolm killed someone as a kid? And doesn’t know it? Or is this just a reference to the whole ‘girl in the box’ trauma arc from last season?

1:44 - “I wish I didn’t know that you were a killer.” Anyone else get major flashbacks to the movie Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause? “I wish I had never become Santa at all” then we get an AU for 40 mins? Just me? Cool - excuse my bad taste in Christmas movies.

1:50 - hahaha Martin is so bitter.

2:25 - You know, as much as I love to hate Martin - he has a point. Malcolm loved his Dad (still does whether he wants to admit it or not) in 98′ - why is Malcolm chill with Ainsley killing but not Martin? Is it because with Martin, he found a poor girl tortured in a box but with Ainsley he saw her kill a man that was threatening their family? Or was it because Martin tried to kill Malcolm but Ainsley hasn’t (yet?) **honestly - that would be such an interesting episode - if Ainsley tries to kill Malcolm**

2:33 - THANK YOU. Someone finally thanks Malcolm for trying to protect Ainsley (and in extension Jessica) from the emotional trauma he’s been dealing with since the age of 10. EVEN THOUGH PROTECTING THEM IS MAKING HIS MENTAL STATE WORSE. Seriously - Malcolm is going to snap soon I honestly won’t be surprised if we get some suicidal ideation from him this season (especially if things don’t improve). Look at those big sad puppy dog eyes when Jess thanks him.

2:38 - hahahaha that side-eyed glare directed at Martin.

2:53 - I know Jessica had good intentions here - she’s trying to protect both of her children but honestly, this whole interaction was probably super upsetting for Malcolm. Think about it - BOTH of his parents haven’t tried to have a serious discussion with him at the same time since he was at 10 years old or younger. This interaction is probably bringing up some memories for Malcolm and making him grieve for the childhood he lost all over again.

3:06 - “You’re gross.” followed by a very regal wave at Mr. David. YES. Queen Jessica. <3

3:25 - Malcolm startling JT is pretty freaking cute. Look at how JT’s expression immediately changes from startled to concerned. I don’t blame him. Malcolm gives off major manic energy in this scene. The visit with the parents did not leave him in a good place. Also - Malcolm straight up admitted that he’s had a ‘rough morning’ this boy almost never tells the truth when he’s struggling. He’s fine. He’s always fine.

3:30 - “Rough month.” IS THIS IT? IS THIS ALL I’M GOING TO GET? JT had a baby THREE EPISODES AGO. ‘rough month’ is a reference to the fact that he’s a new dad and he’s struggling with lack of sleep, leaving Tally alone with the baby while he’s a work, being a good husband, adjusting to dad life, ect. RIGHT?!? We’ve literally had no mention of the baby since 2x3 and I’m losing my mind. I just want someone to say, “Hey JT, how’s the baby?” that’s it. I want 5 seconds of dialogue. Just an acknowledgment that the child exists.

3:54 - “Sooo bring me up to speed.” OMG. That smile is both extremely manic and completely adorable. Seriously - why is no one on the team more concerned about Malcolm during this episode? AND WHERE THE EFF IS EDRISA IN THIS SCENE?!? We’ve been robbed.

4:21 - “What? I liked math class.” OMG. JT is a closet math nerd. You can’t take this headcanon away from me.

4:24 - hahahaha look at Malcolm absorbing the new information about JT. He’s like.....yes. I will keep that information for later. Very good. Will pry further.

5:04 - I love Dani. She’s perfect. She can see that Malcolm just checked out into his own horror of a memory. So she gently teases him to bring him back to reality. <3 This is true friendship. <3

6:00 - Was I the only one who thought it was weird that Gil asked Malcolm to help with the canvasing? Like - doesn’t Malcolm always help? Isn’t that part of what he does to build his profile?

6:12 - “KGB agent” Yes. Malcolm is still annoyed that Ainsley was so competitive about a literal murder last episode. I promise you. Ainsley’s probably still annoyed too.

6:26 - This is why Malcolm is considering telling Ainsley the truth. He’s already losing her. May as well rip off the band-aid. She might not react as badly finding out from him as she would finding out by herself.

6:51 - “That is my vagina.” hahahahaha OMG. As a woman I must say: HOW?!?! As someone who adores JT: hahahahahahahaha OMG.

7:23 - “You’re getting a lot of mileage out of that tidbit”. lol. JT gently teasing Malcolm is one of my favourite things. Hands down. Especially since they’ve reached a point in their friendship where Malcolm doesn’t seem scared or offended when JT makes fun of him. They’re acting like brothers and I LOVE IT. <3

7:25 - “That’s the tip of the iceberg my man.” I have no idea why I am so amused by someone calling Malcolm “my man” but I am.

7:36 - “The Bowery Ripper” hahaha the look that JT and Dani exchange when Malcolm starts nerding out.

8:00 - Wendell is kind of creepy. But like a weird, non-threatening creepy?

8:22 - OMG. JT let the vagina sculpture go. hahaha Look at how grossed out Dani is hahahaha she’s like, “Ugh. Men are gross.”

8:30 - This is why I love JT. He knows that that elevator is sketchy as hell. Plus it’s some (less than subtle) foreshadowing for what’s to come in this episode.

8:41 - How did Dani find out he was at Claremont?! Does Mr. David call Gil every time Malcolm visits?!? ......this is my new headcanon. You will have to pry it from my cold dead hands.

9:00 - This is a really cute moment between Dani and Malcolm. Regardless of whether or not you ship Brightwell - it’s really sweet to see Malcolm interacting so honestly with someone. He’s telling Dani the truth about something and she’s not making him feel bad about how messed up his family is or how weird his situation is. She just listens and teases him to make him smile. That is a good friend. IDC how you feel about Brightwell - right now - this is a GOOD FRIEND moment and Malcolm deserves more of them.

9:10 - Annnnnnndddd this is why Brightwell shouldn’t happen (right now). Dani is still hurt that Malcolm doesn’t trust her enough to tell her everything. She still doesn’t completely trust him after what happened last season. A romantic relationship without 100% trust will fail. End of story. They’re great friends but right now they can’t be in a romantic relationship. It’ll end poorly. (Damn, I hope Brightwell is endgame though).

9:38 - hahaha Greta Swan is a perfect comedic relief for the Dani/Malcolm tension we just witnessed. This girl is a little nuts and a lot funny.

10:00 - “Dad’s lived here his whole life” - wow. The writers really left us some big bread crumbs. We go from the scene where someone mentions a serial killer who killed someone (who was abducted from this hotel) in 1963. THEN we find a strange, gossipy woman and her grumpy father who has lived there his whole life. Coincidence? Nah.

10:17 - SERIOUSLY?!? The Whitly home is ENORMOUS. WHY IS JESSICA LETTING AINSLEY WORK IN THE MURDER BASEMENT?!?!?! We literally just found out that Jessica has a SOLARIUM somewhere in this house.

10:40 - “The guy definitely seems like he kills people.” Oh the irony here.

10:55 - “Are you upset with me?” This is soft and I love it. Malcolm is being vulnerable with his little sister and it warms my heart.

11:07 - “Insomnia sucks.” “Who knew?” Again. Irony.

11:18 - “Anything you want to talk about?” This is precious. Malcolm loves Ainsley SO FREAKING MUCH. He has major Dad/Big brother/concerned school counsellor energy here and I’m here for it.

11:38 - Malcolm’s soooo going to replay this conversation in his head about a million times. He’s going to blame himself for Ainsley’s murder victim of this episode. He’s going to play the “what-if” game. What if - he told her the truth here? Would she still have killed someone tonight?

11:52 - Look at Ainsley’s face here. She seems sort of confused and comforted? Like maybe the fractions of memories that she’s admitting to having are making her believe that she killed Endicott and it scares her. Malcolm telling her otherwise is probably comforting on some level. It’s helping her convince herself that she’s done nothing wrong.

12:25 - According to IMDB - this isn’t the episode LDP directed SO WHY IS THERE SO LITTLE GIL CONTENT IN THIS EPISODE?!?!?!

12:27 - What the hell is the puddle on the floor btw? Is it paint? Tar? Blood? I thought construction hadn’t started on the hotel yet?

14:14 - Malcolm. You. Are. A. Moron. Why go towards the creepy elevator that opened by itself? Why did you think that was a good idea?

14:29 - The Bowery Ripper is pretty strong for an old guy. I mean, Malcolm isn’t that big and he was caught off guard but still.

14:38 - I wanted this scene to be reality SO SO BADLY. I don’t even care about the Brightwell interaction in this scene. Malcolm is on a hospital bed. With an ice pack. I could’ve watched 45 minutes of “Malcolm in the hospital” content. The fact that this boy didn’t spend longer than a 30 second scene in the hospital is a CRIME. Why does Fedak hate giving us the whump aftercare?!? WHY?!?! Doesn’t he know like half the fandom LIVES FOR IT?!?

14:40 - You know how I knew this was the start of Malcolm’s AU dream? 2 reasons: 1) Dani has her hand on the ice pack on Malcolm’s head, even though he totally doesn’t need her help to hold the ice pack to his head. 2) GIL ISN”T HERE. .....although this episode did us dirty with the lack of Gil content (I miss Papa!Gil so much)

14:46 - There’s something about dream JT. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Real and dream JT are almost identical. But dream JT seems to be more open with Malcolm? IDK - he’s more relaxed around Malcolm? I can’t quite describe it. Did anyone else notice that there was just something a little bit different about dream JT? Not even in a bad way. Just different.

15:15 - “Noooo she said it could’ve been worse. Not the same.” hahaha YES DANI. Good looking out. Call out this boy for neglecting his health.

15:24 - This whole scene where Dani and Malcolm do a joint interrogation was awesome. They were talking pretty fast which I found a little distracting but JT said it best, “They were on FIRE”. One thing I REALLY liked about the scene was the dynamic between Dani and Malcolm. Neither one of them was really taking a lead in the interrogation. They were equal partners and I think that says a lot about Malcolm’s romantic desires. He doesn’t want to dominate anyone. He doesn’t want to be taken advantage of. He just wants someone he can trust and respect. Someone who will trust and respect him. He wants a partner. An equal partner. I think that’s a really healthy desire for anyone in search of a relationship.

16:12 - an affair? Did we know that Lyle and/or Katrina were married?!? If they weren’t married it would just be a relationship. Not an affair.

17:01 - Is this honestly the first time Dani has called Malcolm by his first name? In 26 episodes? It must be right? Because I swear I was so shocked my heart skipped a beat (also my Brightwell heart melted but that’s a whole different thing).

17:06 - .....so in Malcolm’s dream does he still work for Major Crimes? Is JT running the department? I need some more details here.

17:12 - Soft!JT <3 <3 <3 How cute is it that in Malcolm’s AU dream, JT (and Dani) don’t actually change (in terms of personality). Their roles in his life just intensify. Dani becomes his significant other and JT becomes a much closer friend/brother. It’s precious. <3 <3 <3

17:52 - Something about the fact that Jessica isn’t drinking liquor in the AU is hilarious and depressing to me. It’s funny because, well, it just tickles me. It’s depressing because Malcolm understands that Jessica drinks to dull the pain. In this AU, she isn’t in pain. She’s happy. Therefore, she doesn’t need alcohol. I don’t know about you but the fact that Malcolm’s subconscious wanted his mom to be happy so badly that she became (more or less) sober - is heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time.

18:11 - “No one in this family is scared of a little blood right?” The irony here is THICK.

19:23 - The fact that Ainsley is a doctor just like Martin in Malcolm’s AU is terrifying and hilarious. This whole “I watched Ainsley kill a man” thing is really destabilizing Malcolm’s questionable mental health.

19:27 - “Please Ainsley is the talented one. I’m a distance second.” ....does this mean that Endicott isn’t the first person Ainsley has killed? Does this mean subconsciously Malcolm somehow thinks that Ainsley is a better serial killer than Martin?

19:56 - “No phones at dinner okay?” Something about the way Martin is looking at Malcolm at this moment and Martin’s tone of voice made me think - “Shit. Martin’s still a serial killer in Malcolm’s AU.” Especially since they Ainsley literally just announced to the room that he’s getting a from Claremont.

20:06 - Yep. That’s a nightmare. From the back, Claremont!Gil probably looked like Martin circa mid-2010s for Malcolm.

20:09 - Look idc who you ship on this show. But I will fight you if you don’t think that Malcolm being comforted after a nightmare by someone he loves is the sweetest thing ever. Look at how Dani gently rubs his arm and back. Ugh. This is the kind of safety Malcolm DESERVES.

20:43 - Dani lying on Malcolm’s chest. <3 It just makes me so happy. Not even necessarily because it’s Dani (although I do ship Brightwell as end game) but because Malcolm’s subconscious is showing us his ideal relationship and we don’t see anything wild or questionable - we just see G-rated cuddling. And damn if that doesn’t say a lot about how much Malcolm just wants to be loved.

20:53 - .......Can we have a full episode’s worth of footage where Malcolm is unconscious on the floor? I know I’m a basket case but it would make my whump heart so happy.....even happier if that footage was immediately followed by 40 mins of hospital care/comfort footage.

20:59 - I know that time has sort of slowed down for the purpose of plot in this episode but ngl - every time we saw the elevator approaching passed out Malcolm all I could think was “this is the slowest elevator in the world.”

21:26 - Malcolm is so so relaxed and comfortable in this scene. I want him to be this happy forever.

22:07 - “You deserve all of it.” Malcolm subconsciously just wants permission to be happy. He doesn’t think he deserves to be happy (especially after Endicott). That little revelation broke my heart. Also the Brightwell kiss was adorable. Dani takes control because, Malcolm wants to feel wanted and this is how his subconscious is manifesting that desire. I will argue that Malcolm doesn’t necessarily want a relationship where his partner takes charge or dominates him. He made coffee of both of them. They’re living in his apartment. They’re having calm, mature, adult conversations. They are both equal partners in his dream relationship.

22:45 - Dani isn’t scared of Malcolm when his hand starts shaking. She isn’t judging him. She’s just concerned. <3

22:47 - “Existential ennui”? Soooo much french in this episode. Damn. “Jamais vu”, “Quelle suprise”. Now “ennui”.

23:35 - “I don’t fit your profile.” ....am I expected to believe that Malcolm didn’t realize this was a dream until this moment? Dani calling him “Malcolm Whitly” in the last scene wasn’t a red flag? Or the fact that Ainsley is a doctor. Or that Martin isn’t in Claremont? Or that Jessica isn’t drinking booze by the bucket? I mean, I know he has a head injury but these are big red flags.

24:15 - Sooooo is Wendell dead irl? Because this is technically a dream.

25:02 - “I thought we were looking for an inexperienced psychopath. A first time killer.”......this is him projecting about Ainsley right? Am I overthinking this? And now he says, “I was wrong”. Is that supposed to suggest that Malcolm thinks Ainsley has killed someone before Endicott?

25:07 - “The blows are confident. They were having fun.”.....couldn’t the same be said about how Ainsley stabbed Endicott? They were definitely confident stabs (plus a confident throat slitting).

25:14 - “We’re looking for a serial killer.” Istg the writers are hinting that Ainsley is a serial killer (or will become one soon).

25:27 - Mr. David appears in the AU but Edrisa doesn’t. We were ROBBED.

26:07 - I’m not the only one who thinks that beard makes Gil look like a werewolf right?

26:33 - Claremont!Gil is creepy. LDP’s performance here is really really good. Also - I hate it. Because serial killer Gil is just not my Gil and it upsets me to see Gil chained to a wall.

26:56 - Sooooo in the AU “The Surgeon” is still at large right? ....you’d think Malcolm would be trying to solve that case with Dani and JT. You know, an active prolific serial killer in New York?

27:34 - The way that Martin, Gil, and Malcolm interact in this scene is really interesting to me. In a lot of ways, this isn’t an AU. Think about it.

In the dream: Gil is frantically trying to convince Malcolm that Martin is a serial killer. In a way, Gil is trying to protect Malcolm from Martin.

In reality: Gil just shoots Malcolm disapproving looks when he mentions seeing Martin. Gil desperately tries to protect Malcolm from Martin.

In the dream: Martin is trying to convince Malcolm that Gil is a monster. He’s trying to convince Malcolm that he’s a Good father. That he would never hurt Malcolm. That he loves Malcolm.

In reality - Martin is the same.

The only main difference between AU!Martin, AU!Gil, and their real counterparts is their temperaments. AU!Martin has Gil’s calm, comforting, and rational temperament while AU!Gil has Martin’s angry, manic, and controlling temperament.

What is the same between the AU characters and their real counterparts?

Martin is still a manipulative killer.

Gil still shoots Malcolm looks of concern (27:45).

Gil and Martin still hate each other.

28:30 - Even dream Martin tries to gaslight Malcolm.

28:56 - “You can always count on Dad.” ....is this how Malcolm really feels about Martin subconsciously? It kind of makes sense? Who did Malcolm turn to when Ainsley did the unthinkable? Not Gil or Jessica. Malcolm said it in 1x12 - (I’m paraphrasing) “The child in me thought he cared. Loved me even.” I think there’s still a part of Malcolm that believes that. Or at least a part of Malcolm that desperately wants to believe that.

29:17 - “I’ve never been to a crime scene before.” That’s because you create the crime scene, Martin. In all versions of reality.

29:20 - annnnnnd AU Martin shares regular Martin’s weird fascination with Dani.

31:00 - JT being buddy-buddy with Martin is hands down the most horrifying part of the AU.

31:10 - “I think he’s having a psychotic break.” ......I want this to be foreshadowing so so so badly. I think it would be so interesting to see how the team, Jessica, Ainsley, and even Martin deal with Malcolm just having a total breakdown. Maybe not a full psychotic break. Maybe a nervous breakdown? Or he succumbs to his suicidal ideation? Probably a little too dark for network TV though.

31:34 - “I’m very protective of her and her boots.” Does Malcolm see himself as the Bowery Ripper, trying to protect Ainsley as opposed to his daughter? Or is the Bowery Ripper supposed to be a metaphor for Martin protecting Ainsley? Is Malcolm going to take the fall for Ainsley and all her murders?!?

32:45 - “Why did you kill again? After all these years.” istg this is hinting that Ainsley killed someone as a kid and Martin knows about it.

33:00 - “I can’t let my daughter know what I was.” .....is the Bowery Ripper supposed to be Ainsley? Is Ainsley killing people to try and protect Malcolm? Ugh. I’m totally overthinking this.

33:02 - Even in his dream, Malcolm can’t bring himself to kill his father. Wether that is by cutting off contact with Martin irl or letting the Bowery Ripper kill him in the AU.

33:07 - Actually though - why doesn’t Malcolm carry a gun IRL? We know he’s trained to use one. We saw him use one in the pilot on a case for the FBI. Is there some sort of NYPD rule about consultants carrying weapons? Is it a rule that Gil has imposed on Malcolm? Is it a rule that Malcolm has imposed on himself? A mixture? I want to know.

33:38 - OMG. Is Malcolm going to try and kill Ainsley?!?! What a twist that would be. AU Malcolm just killed a killer. He doesn’t seem to feel bad about it and he agrees with Martin that “everything is okay now”.

33:55 - This hug deeply moved me. Malcolm is fully aware that this hug isn’t real but he looks so content to be hugged by his father. Malcolm is finally getting a proper hug. <3 It honestly makes me wonder what Malcolm would do IRL for his father’s approval though. He’s clearly sooo desperate for Martin to love him. Who knows what Martin will be able to convince Malcolm to do in this season? Malcolm’s not all that mentally stable right now and he’s really vulnerable emotionally. I’m worried.

34:26 - “Not that it’s a competition.” ....yep. Ainsley wants to be better than Malcolm even in Malcolm’s own subconscious.

35:00 - Heart. Breaking. Watching Ainsley, Martin, and Jessica tell Malcolm how good they think Dani is for him breaks my heart. Look at how happy Malcolm looks. Look at how desperately Malcolm wants this to be real. Ugh. My heart is shattered.

35:20 - “You’re the best, big brother.” Even Malcolm’s subconsious knows that he’s an excellent big brother. Seriously, I love my younger brother but I don’t think I could ever cover up a murder for him. Never mind dispose of the body. Maybe I would? IDK the situation has never come up (thankfully).

35:25 - .....aaannnnnndd we’re back to the Girl in the Box.

35:58 - “Why would you ever want to leave?” “Because it’s all a lie.” Isn’t Malcolm living a lie IRL too? He’s pretending that Ainsley is a law-abiding citizen. He’s pretending that he isn’t an accomplice in a murder. He’s living in constant fear because of his secrets. They’re going to destroy him. This is why I think a suicide attempt is a possibility for this season. This trauma is a lot bigger (in some ways) than last season’s. Plus - Malcolm has a lot of pre-existing trauma. This could be the metaphoric straw that breaks the camel’s back.

36:45 - “Even in my wildest dream. I’m still a detective. I need to seek the truth. No matter how painful.” That’s it. That’s Malcolm’s character in a nutshell. “Traumatized boy who intentionally puts himself through more trauma for the sake of seeking the truth.”

37:01 - “You’re right. I need to work on that.”.......if Malcolm tells Gil and/or the team about Ainsley next episode I will lose my mind.

37:15 - TOM PAYNE. YOU ABSOLUTE TREASURE. THIS IS SUCH A GREAT PERFORMANCE. THOSE UNSHED TEARS. THAT DESPERATE ANGER. THAT HOPELESSNESS AND DESPAIR. <3 <3 <3 <3

38:21 - Look, I’m a mechanical engineering student (not an expert) but if that was a wooden stick like I think it is - that would’ve NEVER stopped an elevator (at least, not long enough for Malcolm to escape). But I’ll overlook it for whump. Because Malcolm has a head wound and I’m loving it.

38:33 - I’ve rewatched this clip of Malcolm with a bloody face meeting JT and Dani about 50 times (wish I was exaggerating that number). There is something so gorgeous about this scene. I mean - the fact that Malcolm is clearly in physical and emotional pain is enough to make my whump heart sing but it’s more than that. Listen to the genuine concern in JT’s voice when he says, “You okay?”. Look at Dani’s concerned face. Listen to how soft and desperate Malcolm’s voice is when he says, “When was the last time I talked to you?” Look at how concerned and confused JT and Dani are when Malcolm says, “I know who the killer is.” They’re not scared of Malcolm. They’re scared for Malcolm. Malcolm just showed up covered in blood, he can’t walk straight, he’s clearly confused, and now he’s claiming that he’s solved the case. They’re worried about him and they have every right to be. Listen to how broken Malcolm sounds when he says, “Long story.” <3 <3 <3 I’m in love with this scene.

39:19 - “Are you sure about this?” “I have no idea.” This. Is. Important. JT and Dani have every reason to believe that this old man isn’t a killer but Malcolm’s head injury is making him confused. BUT they choose to trust Malcolm (or at the very least, humour him). They trust him enough to take a risk on him and I think that’s beautiful. I think that’s exactly what Malcolm needed after his nightmare of an AU dream. He needed to know that they care about him IRL. I hope he notices their behaviour despite the head injury.

39:35 - Malcolm puts the skull down with his ungloved hand. I’m blaming the head injury.

39:55 - Look this was a really moving scene. The parallel of Malcolm arresting a serial killer in front of the serial killer’s child and Martin being arrested in front of Malcolm is haunting. HOWEVER, when that old man stood up from the wheelchair my stupid brain went “THAT ASSHOLE NEVER EVEN NEEDED THE WHEELCHAIR?!?”.....even though he literally wasn’t in a wheelchair in Malcolm’s dream.

40:40 - WE WERE ROBBED. I want to see the scene where Malcolm explains his dream to the team. I want to see GIL. WHERE THE EFF IS GIL IN THIS EPISODE?!?! FURTHERMORE - I WANT THE IRL VERSION OF “MALCOLM GOES TO THE HOSPITAL FOR A HEAD INJURY” SCENE. WTF FEDAK. GIVE ME THE AFTERCARE.

40:47 - “That man will be buried in a turtleneck.” hahahahahaha OMG. Iconic.

41:27 - “Goodnight Malcolm.” <3 <3 <3 She called him Malcolm IRL. Excuse me while I go and stoke my slow burn Brightwell fire.

41:36 - “Goodnight.” This is the face of a man who just accepted the fact that he will never be happy. Malcolm honestly doesn’t think he deserves to be in a relationship. Especially with someone as beautiful, kind, and talented as Dani.

41:40 - THAT HAT. Was this really in Season 1?!?! I don’t remember it? But holy hell - I want to see Malcolm wear it. Like now. It’s going to make me laugh. I can feel it.

41:53 - Immediately you can hear that something is wrong in Ainsley’s voice. She sounds distracted, dissociated, and scared.

42:14 - Give. Tom. Payne. An. Emmy. Listen to his voice breaking here. He’s so close to tears and it’s genuinely beautiful. Such an astounding performance.

42:51 - I honestly think Ainsley is shaking her head because she realizes that she made a mistake. She came to Malcolm because she thought he killed Endicott. She thought that he’d be able to understand. That he’d be able to help her because he had committed the same crime she just committed. She was wrong. He can help her - but legally, he really shouldn’t.

43:08 - Look. A new scene for Malcolm’s night terrors.

43:15 - Yep. This is going to drive Malcolm into a mental breakdown. This is bad.

43:20 - There’s a part of me that wants Malcolm to tattle on Ainsley. Just so he doesn’t have to keep the secret any longer. The secret is killing him. Telling won’t make the situation any better though. Gil and the team will react horribly and it’ll make Malcolm feel like garbage. Plus I can only imagine how the press would scrutinize the Whitly’s again. It won’t be good any way you slice it.

I have a love/hate relationship with this episode. On one hand - it’s the cannon AU episode that every fanfiction lover dreams of. It’s also a really compelling episode complete with some excellent acting and great insight into Malcolm’s psyche. HOWEVER: 1) not enough Gil, 2) WHERE IS MY WHUMP AFTERCARE?, and 3) I wanted to see Malcolm at the base of that elevator for longer. The whump wasn’t prolonged enough for my sick soul.

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narrators-journal · 3 years ago

Text

I’ll send a post card

Content warning: I forgot to put this in the last part, but this part includes phone sex and blueballing

Previous: here

Beginning: here

As if to punish Ango for that night in the bathroom at work, Taneada strolled over to his desk a few days later to talk to him about some paperwork he wasn't clear enough on, which instantly set off alarms in the brunette's head. Then, he dropped the facade of nonchalant work chatter and finally confirmed the brunette's worst fear. "Listen, I know you're already trying to catch up after your 'break', but I need you to do a certain job for me." It may have been blatant that he wasn't the most thrilled with this news, because his boss pat his shoulder reassuringly, "Not to worry, it's a small job. I just need you to fact check an item that's said to have heavy ties to a certain rat." Taneada's smile was friendly, but Ango could tell he really didn't get a choice. So, instead of arguing, he just agreed and noted down his departure time the next day. After that, he seemed to go into his usual auto-pilot, not really zoning back into reality until he was on the plane, his head resting on a neck pillow with his glasses in one hand and his other massaging the bridge of his nose where his glasses usually sat. It gave him a bit of much needed relief in such a familiarly stressful situation. He hated it, but at least he could nap on the plane, so that was a plus, however, he also couldn't call you on the plane, so there was a downside. In fact, he couldn't call you for most of the day when he finally landed a while later in the bitter chill of Russia. He would've called or messaged you when he got to his hotel room, but he didn't get a moment to. Instead, he was only allowed to put his bags in the room and fish out a thick winter coat and gloves before he was back out in the weather, heading off to the towns government branch building to inform his contact that he'd arrived and to fill out the appropriate paperwork to permit him use of his power. He was thankful that at least the building had heat, so he wasn't stuck becoming a popsicle while the polar-bears-for-natives snickered, but he never enjoyed the paperwork for temporary power usage. Of course, Ango never complained. Russia simply had a much stricter grip on the citizen's powers, they had to fill out forms informing the government of their abilities, how they worked, and so on, and weren't allowed to use their abilities without the paperwork Ango was now sat at a desk filling out, so for work, school, medical reasons, whatever situation called for a power. It was kind of like America's gun laws, but much stricter, something the government official appreciated as much as resented for it's thorough nature and how useful it could be when it came to keeping track of people. Of course, the brunette wasn't exempt from this rule, since he would be required to use Discourse on Decadence for his work he spent a good chunk of the remaining day filling out the appropriate paperwork for a temporary permit. Once he was done with that though, he was sent back to his hotel. The sun had already gone down by the time he was back in his room, but he decided to risk the fucked up time zones to talk to you. He missed your humor, voice, and playful demeanor. What could he say? He'd grown fond of having someone to call and at least inform that he was okay. "Hello?" You chirped through the line, your voice making the man smile a bit, "Uh, hi, I was just wanting to call and tell you that I'm off on a job, so I'll be gone a few days, but I'm fine." He assured, working on making a cup of coffee while he held his phone with his shoulder and talked to you. "Oh! That's where you went," you hummed, "Well, where are you in the world?" "I can't tell you, it's kind of classified, but just know that I am alive and well, and I will eventually be home." He could hear your hum turn into a grumpy huff, making him smile a bit, "I'd tell you my location if I could," He promised, and that seemed to sate your curiosity for a bit. After that, Ango just sat on his hotel bed, sipping his coffee, fishing his laptop out of his bag to work as he spoke with you until you went to bed for the night. After that, Ango sent his first daily progress report back to headquarters and tried to go through some of the relaxing and destressing techniques his therapist had taught him. He also looked into hobbies for himself, something simple and portable to deal with his anxiety towards not being productive 24/7, then, he too went to bed for the night. The next few days were full of work for Ango, made only slightly better by the rituals his therapist had encouraged him to do, but the true bright side of his day was the few times he could text or call you, even if he fell asleep during your conversations. Nevertheless, he found he enjoyed having someone to talk to, someone to fall asleep on the phone with. He had never actually had that. "Are you going to fall asleep on the call again?" You asked with a snort while Ango walked into his hotel room after another long day of pushing his power to the limits and taking in all of the information he could from the artifact Taneada suspected was tied to the agency's biggest threat at the moment. "Well, would you prefer I have a healthy sleep schedule, or return to my old habits of staying up for three days straight and then eventually crashing?" He asked, taking his glasses off for the night and stretching out on the hotel bed, "Damn, when did you stay up for three days straight?" "It was actually a pretty common occurrence not too long ago. I've told you how I'm a workaholic, right?" He heard your little noise of agreement, "well, before my break, I would take that to the extreme. I would regularly stay up for two or more days straight to work, scrambling to meet impossible deadlines and just file reports or whatnot." he sighed as he explained it, remembering all of the times Taneada would stack more paperwork on him just as he finished the last pile, pushing him to stay up and finish it so that none of it was filed late. It was a miracle he never screwed up on the filing. "That doesn't sound healthy, I'd prefer you not do that again." you said, pulling him back to reality, "I just want to talk to you and not have you pass out just before I initiate something." He could hear the pout in your voice, and he already knew what you had been wanting to initiate. "Well, go ahead and initiate your idea now, that way I can't fall asleep before you get the chance." He offered, and he could almost hear your smirk. For a moment, you chatted nonchalantly, flirting and slowly escalated the conversation while he slowly turned redder, but flirted back. It was pretty relaxing to just flirt and lay on the hotel bed with nothing but the closet light illuminating the small room for a while, it also didn't hurt that your dirty talk was easily stirring up filthy images and scenarios in his head. The image of you grinding against his groin like you promised to, having you kissing his neck, the fantasy alone brought his blood directly to his member, but your coy hum while you described everything you wanted to do when he got back just threw gasoline on the fire. Almost mindlessly, his hand slid to the growing tent in his pants, palming himself while you described just how badly you wanted him. In return, he slipped in his own ideas on what would happen when he returned from his trip. He was a bit clunky at first, from a mixture of building pleasure and just plain inexperience, but he got the hang of it pretty quickly and tried not to linger on his mistakes, it'd ruin the high he was trying so hard to maintain. Thankfully, you seemed a little too preoccupied to heckle him about his awkward attempts, too busy assumedly playing with yourself like he was, which he could tell from the way you moaned or got breathy when you spoke. It was a sign he was sure you could hear in his own voice whenever he talked about what he'd do in response to your ideas, but he didn't care. So long as he had the mental image of your (s/c) body against his, with the thought of your moans being heard in person and not through a phone, he couldn't seem to focus on much of anything else, let alone how shameful he may have sounded. "Are you close?~" You breathed, just as Ango was beginning to slip his hand down his pants to properly stroke his aching member, getting a hum of agreement in response. He expected you to say something dirty, maybe ask if he was thinking of cumming inside of you, but instead of any further dirty talk, he heard you let out a little breath and say "Great, I'm gonna go to bed now~" before hanging up abruptly. For a moment, he just laid there, listening to the silence before his hormone-addled brain caught up to what happened. "Oh, you are so fucking dead." He growled, yanking his hand from his pants and going to get some toilet paper to wipe it clean before messaging you. Ango: Excuse me?? (y/n): Lol, you're excused🙂 Ango: Why'd you hang up? (y/n): To blueball you, of course, lolol. That way you're good and riled up when you get home~ Ango: I am not neglecting myself that long. (y/n): Well than, you've got some photos, but until you get back, you don't get to hear me orgasm❤️ For a while longer, he tried to convince you to get back on a call with him, but you were annoyingly stubborn. He was going to need to wait if he wanted any further assistance from you.

#Ango Sakaguchi #bsd #bungo stray dogs #Ango x reader #Long distance #x reader #not sfw #fanfiction #quotev

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kazuwhora · 3 years ago

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Hi hi! Can i request for a tokyo revengers match up? A romantic one please. I'm fine with both sfw or nsfw.

I'm a girl, 19 y.o. 150cm/45kg. I usually go by she/her and yes, I'm straight. I wear glasses btw. Zodiac is cancer!

I'm an ISTJ. Although I'm the type that stick to the plan, I always be lazy. Super lazy. Not a good leader. I might act polite and a bit talkative but I get tired after being with people for a whole day. Sometimes people say I am rude when giving advice because I talk bluntly. But my friends still confide in me anyway. Kinda loud when laughing. I also make jokes, though some of them aren't that funny. I can say confidently that I'm pretty smart. Now about my bad traits, I tend to get irritated when someone is saying annoying things and they think they're right. I'm also a bit insecure because I'm not good at anything (I can't cook, not really good at cleaning, and clumsy). I don't usually rant unless I really can't handle it again, but I'm talkative when it comes to something I like.

Towards someone I like, I tend to act like a mom because I care so much about them. But I might be a bit clingy and childish too (cause I'm lazy). I will try my best to be their support system. I'd like a partner who can appreciate me and see me as their equal. I'm definitely a sub though.

Love language is quality time (receiving) and act of service (giving).

Habits :

- grumbles a lot and secretly cussing when I get irritated

- and slow internet irritates me so much

- sing 24/7 no matter what I do and where I am (unless when I am angry)

- sleep late, usually at 1 or 2 am, so I also wake up late

- I also sually skip breakfast because of the things I said above

I like music (kpop, jpop, and other random songs), anime, sweet TEA, making coffee (I work as barista btw), fangirling over 2D characters, SLEEP, playing games, and obviously MONEY. Btw I like ran and mitsuya (but please be neutral lol, don't force yourself to match me up with them)

I don't like physical activities like sports or work out, k-drama, animals, lies, being forced, getting my hands dirty.

I guess that's all I can tell you. This is so long and detailed, I'm sorry.

Thanks for being my cupid 💘

hi hi! thank u so much for sending such a detailed request- it really helps me to give you as detailed of a matchup as possible so don't apologize for sending so much! it makes the work on my end much easier and (hopefully) more accurate!!

I know you said that mitsuya and ran are your favourites but that you didn't want that to sway me, so I'm here to tell you that even before I got to that part your description had me screaming mitsuya. then I read that part and was like "oh I see that makes sense" LOL so rest assured this is a completely unbiased matchup with sweetest mitsuya <3 (my second choice for you was draken)

I wanna start by telling u that the part in your description about you grumbling when you're irritated made me laugh, and that it's something that would make mitsuya chuckle to himself hehehe (whether or not that works to make u even more irritated really depends on how cute of a smile he'll give you in apology for laughing at your disturbance) but he just can't help it. like he has this stupid little half smirk because he knows you're in a bad mood and that he absolutely shouldn't be laughing but like ?? he just thinks its so cute listening to you grumble like a little old man or a cute grumpy cat and he can't get enough.

getting into personality compatibility, the two of you make a sweet couple that value each other's intimacy more than anything. with the two of you functioning on an introverted thinking level, nights in watching movies together, or playing games together, or really doing anything small and intimate together is enough to please the both of you. don't worry about not being able to cook. one of the activities mitsuya loves to do with you is make the house all nice, light some candles, put on some music (probably a studio ghibli classical playlist don't @ him about this) and have a whole dinner planned for you. he wants you to help him though, but he's conscious of not wanting to frustrate you so he'll specifically delegate tasks he know you can successfully accomplish (like measuring ingredients for him, taking away extra dishes and putting them in the sink, handing him different tools and such). he's pretty good at cooking (mommy mitsuya over here) and he just really likes to do things both WITH you and FOR you, y'know?

there might be times where you have your struggles (nobody is perfect) and given that your dominant functions of your respective types are completely the opposite, this can be space for disagreement and frustration. nonetheless, mitsuya has that evolved sense of maturity that allows him to recognize your differences as things that make the two of you special and unique, and if you're willing to see things from his point of view every now and again and make an effort to respect his feelings, the growth and development the two of you will be able to share is something that trumps any opposing traits. in a sense, the depth and meaning of your conversations will outweigh the differences in the way you two differ in terms of cognitive functions.

also mitsuya will go to work late just so he can make you something for breakfast because he knows ur gonna skip eating and if he wont be home till late he doesn't want u to be grumpy what a sweet boy xoxoxoxoxoxo

#HEEHEHEH I LOVE MITSUYA #SUCH A SWEEIE

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ziracona · 4 years ago

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hey zira, what are your hot takes on all of the fo4 companions?

Haha, I don’t know how hot they are, but I can give you a speed run! (Also I am very excited to get this. FO4 was the first open world game I ever played and just the concept of that and the hugeness of the world and branching story & sudden feeling changes towards me in companion characters totally blew my mind, & it still lives rent free in my heart).

Ada, Old Longfellow, and Strong I /still/ haven’t maxed despite having too many hundred hours to want to list on this game—the former bc they were DLC, Strong because honest to god I left him at a nice settlement and then completely forgot about him and remembering that I am the energy in this Ryan O’Flanagan video but abt leaving my super mutant in a tiny settlement alone. I will get there! To max affinity I mean. But anyway, I don’t truly know those three, so my takes are incomplete. So far though, I really like Ada. She is a good girl just trying her best. Fucks me up I can tell her to self destruct. Even though I feel sure she would ignore me, I cannot imagine ever saying that to her. It was really sweet she was willing to forgive the Mechanist and move on with her life. A good girl. Longfellow I am maxing rn (was last time I played anyhow). I enjoy him. Gruff grumpy old man but he seems quite decent and I like his idle banter and when he sings to himself a lot. Seems like he’s had it rough. Strong I liked. He’s wild, and I loved how insane meeting him was, and am worried about him eventually understanding poetry and how that might mess up his sense of world understanding. But he’s a chill dude in his own way and I am glad they gave us at least one nice super mutant.

For the companions I actually do know like the back of my hand, the speedrun:

Nick Valentine: Best man on earth. One of two fictional characters I ever called husband. I would die kill or live for him. I want to be 1/4th the man Nick Valentine is. One of the best characters ever period and I adore literally everything about him. It fucked me up early in game where right after he offered to basically risk destroying his mind to help a stranger look for her son, he asked me how I was doing. First character in the entire game to do that. His first companion dialogue is abt how you’re doing TuT. The man is very kind and forgiving and fair, but knows when the draw the line and take no shit. Emotionally mature, kind, caring, longsuffering. Incredibly damaged and broken by life, but holding on and living kindly and to help others anyway. One of the four most marryablen fictional men I’ve ever seen.

Preston Garvey: Brave, kind, sweet man. I would defend him with my life. He really just wants so bad to make the world better and life has been so hard, but he’s still trying. A beautiful and underrated companion and I would throw hands for him on sight. I adore how he whistles. A true and gentle and loyal friend. Take him to Quincy and let him get his justice it’s what he deserves. People who hate him because he tries to get help helping civilians in that game are weak. I love him so much... please give him enough time to reach max affinity he’s so worth it.

Deacon: *To the tune of You Are My Dad* You are my friiiiend! You’re my friend! (Boogie woogie woogie). Initially, he pissed me off bc he lies all the god damn time, but after we got close enough he actually trusted me, he stole my heart and I would also die for Deacon. He’s a really good person who thinks he’s shit because of who he was on his past. Also him 🤝 Preston: massive survivor’s guilt. They should be friends. Poor Deacon has been the last member of the Railroad like four times, and it’s awful. Help him. Give him love and support. He’s one of my all time faves. Also, Railroad hands down best faction and if you kill them for any reason other than like a walkthrough route video and I ever get the chance I would 100% clock you in the face as hard as I can, like going for losing teeth, and feel no guilt. I know it’s a game and that’s wrong, and I’d be wrong, but I’d still do it. Also, Ryan Alosio (his VA) saw me do cosplay for Deacon once and told me it was great and it filled me with even more love. Anyway Deacon is great. Also, his whole “There are other organisations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it.” Is one of the like, two most iconic quotes in all of FO4 & just super good in general.

Hancock: Hardcore badass man but also a good dude and a champion for the people. Man really puts his money where his mouth is and you gotta respect that; another favorite companion for sure. Big fan of the way he stabs a guy for you upon meeting, and is a cool leader who organized his crime and does a decent job actually leading. He works hard to help people and bites back hard. Social justice advocate, dangerous man about town, not afraid to cosplay a revolutionary war hero 24/7 & u gotta respect the no fucks given attitude. A chill dude. Like that he fights the institute, hates the Brotherhood, helps the Railroad, and is friends with Nick. He’s legit af. Also, his VA gives a different answer every time someone asks him about the voice he did for hancock and they’re funny af.

Piper Wright: A cool spunky lady. Lois Lane on the case, kicking butt, and taking name. She’s nice but also hardcore and smart, supportive, fun. A good person. You always get points if you like Nick (which most companions do), and they’re good friends. She’s funny and I love her. A good heart.

Codsworth: He’s great. He’s family. He’s like my...weird brother. Getting to max affinity is heartwarming and also makes my heart go :’-] . Great early-game companion bc he kicks ass and doesn’t need stims to heal. I love getting called by my name and think that was a great feature (well, my PC’s name). He’s a wonderful funky little robot dude and I am so glad he likes me.

Dogmeat: Amazing. A good boy. Doggo of the year. His actor deserved the game award she won. Cute, full of love, and plays with a teddy bear if you give him one. 100/10z

Cait: I like her a lot. She’s been through so much shit, and it makes sense she is how she is. I like they actually gave her an emaciated and messy (though still pretty) design, since she is a drug addict. And that they make her main quest about taking that seriously and wanting to get help, and that she’ll call out the player if they fuck around and do drugs in front of her after she gets rehabilitated. Her relationship to the PC if good is really sweet, and I am a fan. I like that while she’s not sympathetic to synths and thinks they aren’t people, she forgets that every time Nick walks into a room and is like “Oh hey Nicky : )”. She’s a good girl who has been through a lot and still needs time to heal and find herself, but she’s making great strides.

Robert Joseph MacCready: Human disaster (loving). Homeboy a goddamn /mess/ but I love him. He tries so hard to be cool. I love he makes you pay him to come with, then chickens out and gives it back lol. A fool ball of anxiety and bad decisions and what he thinks brovado is. I wish he, Preston, and Deacon would quit fighting, bc I am always like “ :’-] </3 Boys Please” when they swap out, but I love them just the same. He’s doing his best, he’s just stupid and a fool. Like Philip J Fry. Keeping his goddamn soldier toy, which somehow is listed as junk instead of sent to Misc with quest items where it would be fine, safe?parylizes me with fear. I’ve lost 2 hours of gameplay reloading an old save bc I accidentally lost it.

X6-88: A more complex one to answer about. He’s bad, but like, I’m pretty sympathetic to how he got that way. He was created in a lab and had his emotions mostly dragged out of him in intense psychologically damaging training so he would be a weapon and view himself as an object. I was relieved he chose me over the institute even if he wasn’t a fan of the chocie, and think that means there’s a lot of hope for him. Wish he’d chill the fuck out and quit intimidating civilians for 6 god damn seconds, but I like him. I bring him fancy lad snack cakes home from travels all the time, bc Synths are supposed to like them. Really like that he’s the /most/ sympathetic companion towards Danse in Blind Betrayal, even though he should not be programmed for that, and Danse hated him and made it clear any time they interacted.

(EDIT) Curie: I FORGOT HER BABY IM SO SORRY. I like Curie a lot, despite the fact I temporarily forgot she existed. I stg I thought she was in here. Uhhh, okay. Curie: like her character and personality, HUGE un-fan of both the way her desire to get a synth body is to be ‘more real,’ as if Codsworth isn’t a fully realized person while the same robot type she is, instead of just like. Because it would make her happy. ALSO hate how much of a Born Sexy Yesterday she is, even intentionally in not-determinate affinity talks. It’s gross. But her herself, I like a lot. She’s my daughter and I will protect her. She works at The Castle right now as their on-site medic.

Paladin Danse: I know I’m gonna take heat for this but honestly? He didn’t do much for me. I like that he looks and sounds kinda like Buzz Lightyear, and that’s fun, but idk at all why people think he’s so hot. He’s very boring & generic looking to me. Like you’re valid! Taste all be different. But he doesn’t do it for me personally in looks or personality. I don’t at all like, hate him. Or even dislike. Tbh I am fairly neutral on him. It was funny making affinity with him though. Every other companion I had maxed, I liked more and more with each affinity talk. They’d be like “So my dad was a minuteman and died and I want to honor him” or “I just want to really feel like I’m a person, for real, myself, and I am glad I met you, because the good we have achieved together is ours, even if I can’t be sure of anything else,” or “My brother threw the cultural minorities out of our city for clout bc the rich citizens were all racist, and I tried to help—I snuck them food to the unsafe ruins they set up in for weeks, but eventually, they just vanished, and I still bear immense guilt and self-hatred over not having stopped that.” And Danae’s would be like “One time a buddy of mine got kidnapped by super mutants. They turned him into one of them, and they’re all abominations, so I killed him and it made me really sad.” And I was just like “...Oh danse. I really wanted to like you more. But what the fuck.” His relationship to Haylen is sweet though. And ofc I saved him in Blind Betrayal. I blew up the Prydwin so he’s safe now too, and he lives in the garden by my house and tells me how glad he is we’re friends, and I’m p into that. Overall, my feelings on him are not strong at all though.

Porter Gage: Not a fan. Like, I appreciated he helped me kill the old boss, sure. And bc I owed him for that, I went to max affinity to see what there was to him as a person. And like, as far as raiders go, he was okay. But he wasn’t deeply sympathetic, and he’s a slaver, and if you try to liberate the slaves he and the others own, he /will/ turn on and attempt to murder you immediately, no matter how close you were, so he made his choice, and it was to be a bad person and an asshole to the last. Really enjoyed the VA’s work a lot on him tho.

And there you have it 👈👈😎. Thanks for asking!

#ask #anonymous #fallout 4 #fo4 #god I love them so much. I was really proud I kept all the OGs too. everyone but Gage. who had to go but it’s his own choice and fault 🤷🏻‍♀️#GOD far harbor was a good dlc. it’s like the main quest choice again but way more condensed and twice as f ked up. my poor MC had only #come to terms just before with all the lives she took & started healing #doing bad things she did not want to do & knew he would know about and think less of her for doing. but she did them. 😔 bc of course she did #then she had to choose between letting the dude she loved be hurt in a way he wouldn’t recover from & torpedoing her relationship to him by #she loves Nick and if it’s him or her it’s always gonna be her #I was SUFFERING. a lot. but I also loved it #don’t come into my inbox and clown about liking Danse please or Gage. idc at all #like you are welcome to your opinion I’m not gonna try to convince you /not/ to like him. plz do me the same courtesy & respect my right to #have an opinion u may not like

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margokesses · 4 years ago

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I see some Bucky stans claim to be lesbians but when I follow them, it's always "I just want him to crack my skull between his thighs" and just them thirsting over him 24/7. I follow a few Bucky stans though. I personally like him and yeah it's cos I pity him lol. But he has potential so I'm looking forward to see what they do with him.

Yeah I'm lowkey hoping they pull from his 616 counterpart a bit. I do like the grumpy old man angle tho

Send me asks

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andrastes · 4 years ago

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if i had to do ur ungodly will u should also have to do 1-69 for polly and aggy

ok here it is for polly.

1. why did they choose their class(es)? their subclass(es)?

Well polly sought out Vaermina because she hoped that she would be able to make her nightmares stop.

2.before they met their party, what was their main goal? make enough money to survive, sleep through the night.

3. what is their goal right now? save the world lol. she doesn’t actually care about that part as much, she’s mostly in on it because her friends seem to really care. she’s trying to have fun while she’s awake though, which she didn’t really think about much until she met her friends.

4. if they could learn one spell that isn’t available to them at present, which spell would it be? create or destroy water. she just thinks it would be really useful for the group’s travelling. dredge can get stinky.

5. do they follow a higher power? what are their thoughts on divinity? lol she’s forced to follow Vaermina. she thinks the gods suck, not because they aren’t real or powerful but because she felt neglected by them when she needed them.

6. which party member do they relate to the most? sundrop

7. which party member do they understand the least? liz

8. what are three songs that suit them? still finding songs for her bit… tighten up by the front bottoms, be still by the killers, and wisdom by mother mother.

9. do they care about their appearance? how much effort do they put into presentation? She does care about how she looks but doesn’t have the energy to really put that much effort into it. That’s why her entire wardrobe is black and dark colors because you don’t have to worry about matching shit. she brushes her hair and braids it when she isn’t sleeping to keep busy, but that’s it.

10. how often do they lie? what situations cause them to be dishonest? she lies mostly when she thinks it’ll be funny or it’ll suit her. she has no real qualms about lying to any random person, but she would think twice on lying to her friends.

11. what skills are they proficient in? Why? she’s very good at staying awake because she’s too afraid to fall asleep.

12. have they ever been in love? no

13. what do they dislike about themself? Why? she doesn’t like how cynical she is

14. what is something they love about themself? she knows that she’s always going to get back up.

15. do they trust their party? why or why not? 100% trust. she’s been with them for so long she knows that if they wanted her dead or were going to betray her they would’ve done it.

16. what are their feelings on the people who raised them? she loves her parents a lot, she just wishes she were the daughter they wanted.

17. what do they dream about, when their dreams are their own? She’s had very few dreams that are her own in her lifetime. the first one was her sitting in a meadow outside her home in skingrad and feeling the sun on her skin. the second was sitting with her friends outside a cave making fun of dredge by the campfire.

18. do they see themself as a leader or a follower? leader.

19. what haunts them? what doesn’t? she’s haunted by the life she could have had if she ever got a good night’s sleep. she isn’t haunted by what she has done to make her life more bearable.

20. which of the five senses do they rely the most on? sight

21. do they follow their head, their heart, or their body? their heart-- she does what she wants to.

22. what is a promise they’ve broken? “i promise i’m not going to do anything rash.”

23. how do they feel about nicknames, titles, or labels that have been given to them? how do they feel about their name? her name is pretentious and very imperial and so she feels like she sticks out in skyrim, but she likes being called polly.

24. which of the four elements speaks to them the most? Fire. it's a light in the dark and warmth in the cold. an act of creation and destruction, which i think is sort of at war in her mind-- she feels like she is destroying her life while also trying to create something from the ashes.

25. what stories do they like to tell? what stories do they like to hear? she likes to tell funny stories and likes to hear stories with happy endings.

26. who do they miss? polly misses her parents, her sister, her niece and nephew.

27. how do they mourn? angrily, loudly. she is not the best at dealing with emotions.

28. who would they kill? who would they kill for? she’d kill quite a few people for money, but would kill anyone dredge, liz, sundrop, or her other family needed her to without question.

29. who would they save? who would they be saved by? she would save her friends and family, she can’t speak for anyone else but she’s done waiting for some deus ex machina.

30. what do they seek out from others? anything interesting. sometimes just their annoyance will do.

31. they’re given a blank piece of paper–what do they do with it? she takes the paper, folds it like a paper plane (fantasy plane?), and throws it at someone.

32. do they seek control, or do they want less of it? she seeks control desperately.

33. what makes them cry? any emotion in a high enough dose. thinking about loneliness.

34. which party member do they go to in a crisis? oh god. depends on the crisis. probably mostly sundrop.

35. which party member do they worry for? dredge, he’s really getting old.

36. what’s a secret they’ve kept? it’s a secret!!!

37. what is their favorite thing to hold? a bottle or a glass.

38. what do they smell like? i think she would smell earthy and deep from all the outside travelling and dark magic. maybe vetiver and something floral, like gardenia.

39. are their hands calloused, soft, or something else entirely? she has callouses on her fingers from constant tool working. Her palms are soft.

40. do they enjoy poetry? No, doesn’t much care for it.

41. what are they attracted to in other people? optimism, perseverance, kindness.

42. what are three words they would use to describe themself? funny, charismatic, annoying.

43. why do they fight? she needs to make a living somehow

44. what do they need to learn? To give people a chance first,

45. how do they hug people? she’s one of those: taps you immediately to let you know we’re done, side-hug, types.

46. what do they deprive themself of? home, sleep.

47. when they meet someone, what is the first thing they notice? she tries to make an immediate character impression so she’ll go oh they seem boring, or childish, or invested.

48. what do they see in their future? Dredge, Liz, Sundrop

49. what makes them smile? antics. pranks, doing silly things for no reason and succeeding.

50. can they sing? can they dance? she hasn’t done much of either.

51. what is the most beautiful thing in the world, for them? human (and not human lol) connection. she really loves flowers, they remind her of being back in skingrad.

52. from whom do they seek validation? her parents (and the gods but that one set sail)

53. which is more frightening to them: day or night? night. she has to fall asleep eventually.

54. what was their education like? she’s gotten a good basic education and a merchant’s education.

55. whose hand do they reach out for? sundrop’s

56. what animal do they most relate to? giant rat, just chilling going absolutely wild until someone shows up and just starts wacking.

57. what makes them angry? people giving up.

58. what do they think their role in the party is? what is their role in actuality? she thinks she’s there to deal with people in a business sense. her real role is to just be real good at noticing.

59. what is a quiet passion of theirs? she loves daydreaming and little figurines.

60. do they whisper or yell more often? yell.

61. what kind of flower would they choose to pick from a meadow? violets

62. outside of otherworldly forces, what do they believe in? herself. that people are always going to do what’s best for themselves.

63. what fight has scared them the most? fighting a dragon

64. do they value mercy or justice more? justice.

65. what is holding them back? currently, saving the world.

66. who makes them feel warm? her family.

67. what makes them laugh? liz eating anything

68. what was the best moment of their life? the first night she had a real dream.

69. how would they describe their party members? as her best friends. Liz is perhaps too sweet for this wofrld and she has no idea why she sticks around but is very grateful she does. Dredge is a grumpy old man with the funniest quips. Sundrop is confused but he’s got the spirit, but even still is loyal, which not many can say.

#polly #onechickenugget

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