#he was baby yoda for longer than grogu I can’t help it

[theboyercannon]

excuse me it’s been a while since I’ve drawn my two favorite boys

[ariainstars]

The Mandalorian: Is He “Better Vader”?

This may sound funny, but please hear me out for a moment. 

The further I watch Star Wars’ new live-action tv show, the more I get the impression is that Mando is meant to be a positive version of Darth Vader (the “dark father”). 

Father figures usually don’t have a thankful role in this galaxy - either they are absent like Anakin’s, terrifying like Luke’s, or well-meaning but failing in their primary duty of keeping their child safe, like Ben’s. 

Not a few fans, though a little mockingly, like to call Kylo Ren “better Anakin” since his conflict is more fleshed out and the whole figure inspires more sympathy. My theory: is Mando meant to be “better Vader”? 

It was repeatedly and amply shown that the cause for the never-ending conflicts in the galaxy lie for a large part on the side of the Jedi, whose stuck-up attitude ultimately failed. Their order prohibited personal attachments, and even the wisest among them were not affectionate. This was what drove the all-powerful but passionate Anakin, who desperately wanted to have someone he could love and protect, to his ruin: the moment he finally became a father he also became a ruthless monster. Mando is introduced as a merciless bounty hunter, but as he opens up to the child, he becomes kinder and begins to find friends. He grows even more valiant, but also learns how to be gentle and caring. 

Since the Jedi are almost all extinct, but Force-sensitive children still are born throughout the galaxy, we are left with the question of what is to become of them. Some were brought to Luke’s new temple later, but we can assume that not all were identified. 

Mando’s little protegee is staying and making life experiences with a guy who doesn’t know anything about the Jedi and has no clue of the source of the child’s mysterious powers, but instinctively does the right things: he keeps him safe, instructs him, scolds him when necessary, and offers him friendship and companionship. (The Mandalorian who adopted him probably was a good father figure, too.) The child never sees his “father’s” face, but nevertheless he trusts him explicitly. Mando is the living proof that coolness and fighting qualities are not opposed to being gentle and caring.

Ben Solo’s tragic fate was the result of failed fatherhood: Luke did not know how to be a father because he had no children of his own and had had no role model, while Han did not trust his capacity to protect his son from his own powers.

The Parallels

Both Vader and Mando are soldiers. Though not Force-sensitive, Mando is extremely strong and well-versed in martial arts; he never shows his face; he wears an armor completed by a black cape which does not seem to have much practical use. He usually speaks only in short, clipped sentences and has a wry, sarcastic kind of humor. 

Vader was a follower of the Emperor, factually a slave who had no choice but to obey his master, and wherever he went he wreaked terror. Mando does take jobs from the bounty hunter’s guild, but essentially, he is a free man and often offers his services negotiating on his own terms. Noticeably, he fights against raiders and mercenaries or remnants of the Empire, peace following in his wake.

When he first reaches out for the baby, it looks like the opposite to another famous scene in the saga: here we have the adoptive but good father, while the other was the biological but cruel father.  Luke did not take his father’s hand, while the baby instinctively reached out to the man who had protected him.

Note also the scenic reversal: one figure is standing on the right side, hand with upturned fingers reaching out into a void, the scene is bathed in cold light. The other figure is standing on the left, hand reaching down, illuminated by warm light. 

When we do see his face once, Mando is lying down and helpless like Vader; he is not disfigured though and despite being injured, he is not dying. Shortly after this he finally accepts his task as the child’s father figure, while Vader died a few minutes after his unmasking and could not fulfil his fatherly task any more. Also, in both cases we learned the person’s real name not long before the mask went off: Anakin Skywalker respectively Din Djarin.

Given the saga’s love for cyclical narrative, this would make a lot of sense. Star Wars is telling us once more how important a protective and kind father is for a child, both as a role model and an attachment figure. We do not know yet how baby Yoda will turn out; but it would have made little sense for the storytellers to think up such a figure in the first place if they didn’t want him to go another (possibly better) way than his more famous predecessor. 

Is the galaxy at last healing after the terrible conflicts caused by both Jedi and Sith, and will the good fathers be responsible for a better future, maybe even for the long-awaited Balance in the Force? I hope so.

May the Force be with the Clan of Two. 😉

(On a side note: Vader / Anakin was in his mid-forties when he died. Din Djarin is about the same age.)

After the closure of Season 2, I would like to add a few details that also set Din Djarin apart from Anakin.

 Attachment vs. Affection

Anakin’s greatest weakness was his anxiety to lose the ones he loved. In the end, he sacrificed all of his ideals for the purpose of saving his pregnant wife. Luke also loved his friends and wanted to save them, but in that fateful moment before Palpatine, he realized that he would have had to give up his integrity for the purpose, and that was when he decided to throw away his weapon.

Din suffers deeply when he has to give up “his” child to a literal stranger for an indefinite time. However, he knows that it must be done because he does not have the knowledge to train him. Grogu also, reluctantly, lets go when he sees that his “father” is doing the same. This goes to show, again, that he is much stronger than Anakin.

 Following Rules vs Following One’s Heart

Like Anakin / Vader, Din takes his helmet off the moment he has to say goodbye to his child. The famous sentence “Just once, let me look on you with my own eyes” comes to mind. Vader was a Sith Lord and Anakin had been a Jedi. Both adhered strictly to their code: Anakin was a faithful Jedi until he became a Sith and Vader obeyed to the rules of the Sith until for a brief moment he acted like a Jedi again (and, also, like a father, which was a first). Mando unmasks not only before Grogu but also

-     Luke, who is a total stranger -     Moff Gideon, an enemy -     Bo-Katan, a possible potential enemy since she pursues the Dark Saber -     Fennec, an ally but not a friend -     Cara, a friend who never saw his face.

That he is willing for all of them to witness the moment he lifts his incognito shows that Mando is finally listening only to his heart. The Way of the Mandalore, which was his guideline for his entire adolescence and adult life (i.e. thirty years or more), has become less significant to him than the bond he has with Grogu.

Anakin’s tragedy was that he could not follow his heart but that some rules defined by an outside source always were in control. He wanted to be a husband and father and loyal friend, a mechanic and a pilot, not a Jedi or a Sith.

Ben Solo’s tragedy was the same; though not born a slave, he also had no choice about what to do with himself and his life. It was either being a Jedi or a Sith. But we know that he wanted to be a son and a lover, and a pilot.

The same fate occurred to Luke, many years later: the kind-hearted, affectionate young man from Tatooine, who so easily befriended everyone and always was compassionate and helpful became aloof and detached on being a Jedi, because he thought that was what this task required. But in the end, it was exactly what made him not understand and even fear his nephew, with disastrous results.

Din Djarin chose the way of the heart, he is no longer adhering to “the Way”: he said himself that now he can’t put his helmet back on. (Alternatively, he could put it on again, but that would mean defying the Way otherwise.) Grogu has witnessed that a man can very well choose family over a code that was taught to him, even if he adhered to it all of his life. Luke is the one who carries him away, but Grogu looks over his shoulder to his “father”. Luke may become his teacher, but Grogu’s role model, his hero, will always be Din; as it was for Ben with his father Han.

 Hints at the Future

Anakin died twice: once on Mustafar, where he also lost his blue light sabre, and on the second Death Star, where he had lost the red one. Din Djarin, at the end of this part of this journey, receives a sabre, although he never wanted it.

With the Dark Saber, a new fate is awaiting Mando. Is his destiny that of being the warrior-king, protective and honorable, that ought to have been Anakin’s place? Maybe. As they say, the best leaders are the reluctant ones. 😊

[rainydaydream-gal18]

(Clone Wars) Obi-Wan Kenobi x Jedi!Reader: Here to Stay a Little Longer

Author’s Note: In this fic, reader is a jedi who volunteers to care for an educate younglings in the order. Just wanted to say I know a few teachers and caretakers, and I just wanted to say the amount of respect I have for people who dedicate their time to little ones whether it be for a job or because their your own little ones!

    “Good work today.” 

    There was no stopping the affectionate smile that bloomed on your face as the youngling chirped in response to your affirmation.  You could sense his happiness at the lesson being over for the day.  He wanted to take a nap.

   “Me too, Grogu,” you sighed.  “Me too.”  He waddled over to you, and you lifted him into your arms.  Another jedi would be coming to take him back to the nursery for rest. 

   “___________?” a voice asked.

   “Hm?” you turned to see an elderly female jedi at the doorway to the training room.  “Oh, jedi Lilanou.  You are here to take Grogu back to his quarters?”

   “Yes, indeed,” she said with a smile, outstretching her hands.  They were weathered but ever so gentle as you transferred the tired baby to them.  He waved at you, and you laughed and waved back.  “Grogu will see you later this week for another training session.”

   “I will be expecting him.”  You nodded.  Grogu wasn’t quite like the other younglings.  He was more developed mentally for one so small, and he was much older than the others.  This meant he started training, but only a little since he was still a baby.  As Lilanou carried him away, you felt sadness creep its way into your feelings.  No doubt your attachment to the young one went beyond what it should.  You felt that way about most of the younglings you volunteered to look after and train before they became padawans and were assigned to mentors.  It was hard to let go when that time came, but the need for jedi to step up and help the next generation of younglings drew you in again and again.

   With the absence of Grogu, your afternoon was free.  The rumble in your stomach told you it was time for a meal.  You released a sigh and stepped out of the empty room into the vast halls.  Jedi walked to and fro, some in pairs while others had their noses in datapads.

   The sound of children’s laughter weighed your steps until you stopped altogether.  It was a collective laugh as if it was one shared by an entire class.  You started back on your way again before it rang out once more.  It was indeed a class that occupied one of the nearest training rooms, and from where you stood outside the doorway, you could hear Yoda’s voice instructing.

   “I’ll just stop in for a minute,” you said, grinning.  “Lunch can wait.”  As you approached, Yoda paused the lesson to meet your gaze.  As he greeted you, the younglings that were all seated in a semi-circle turned their heads to look in your direction.  Their faces lit up in recognition.

   “Ah, _________, how nice it is to see you,” Yoda said.  “Younglings, say ‘hello.’”

   “Hello!” they chorused.

   “Hello everyone!” you gave a nod of greeting before turning your gaze back to Yoda.  “I was just wondering if I could sit in on class today?  And maybe help if you need any assistance?”  It felt like a silly question to ask.  He was Yoda.  He’d been training many generations of younglings since long before you were born.  Nonetheless, his features softened as he motioned with his hand for you to enter.

   “Needing a lesson to refresh your memory, are you?” he joked in a good-natured way.  You chuckled as you took a seat on the far right of the semi-circle.

   “Something like that.”

   “Good, your timing is.”  He nodded.  “Discussing the process of constructing lightsabers, we are.  Perhaps, share with the class your experience, you could.”

   “That’s right,” you mused.  “Many of you are nearing that time.  Oh, yes Ganodi?”

   The Rodian girl lowered her hand, galaxy eyes averted shyly for a moment.  “Was it hard to build your lightsaber?”

   “It was a challenge,” you admitted.  “But it wasn’t meant to be easy.”  When you noticed her nervous expression, you added, “I’m sure you will do well.”

   “I’m excited to build mine!”  Petro exclaimed.  “I can’t wait!”

   “All in good time,” Yoda told the enthusiastic youngling.  “Anyway, back to our lesson, we should get....”

- - - - - - 

   After the class had been dismissed by Yoda, some of the younglings stuck around to talk.  Yoda walked over to you.  “Thank you for your help today.  Warms my heart, it does, to see your compassion and willingness to nurture the next generation of jedi.”

   You smiled.  “It warms my heart to see them so eager to learn.”

   After he left, you found yourself in the middle of a game of tag with the younglings in the classroom.  Katooni was “it”, and the rest of the group scattered.  She was fast for a youngling!  You raced past Byph, and he got tagged instead.

   “Sorry, Byph!”

   You were so captivated by the game that you hadn’t noticed a new presence.  “I thought I’d find you here.”  You skidded to a stop, looking over to see Obi-Wan Kenobi standing at the doorway.  Your heart did flips at the sight of that smirk of his while he stood there with his arms folded across his chest.  He had left on a campaign weeks before, and his return to Coruscant was a surprise to you.

   You turned to the group, who didn’t seem to notice him.  “Give me one second, guys.”  They continued to run around, and you walked over to the jedi, out of breath.  “It’s good to see you.  How are things on the front?”

   “Well, we were successful,” he replied.  That smooth voice was like music to your ears.  As you listened to him describe the gist of the mission, your mind wandered to silly little things like his velvety hair that shone in the light or his soft blue eyes or the way his lip quirked when he spoke.  It was just so nice to see him, to be able to take it in that he was there.

   “Sounds like an interesting time.”

   “Oh, no.  Not interesting in the least,” he said sarcastically, the shine of amusement in his eyes.  “How have things been here?”

   “Same as ever.”  You smiled and nodded in the direction of the younglings playing their game.  “These ones keep me occupied.  It’s not fighting Separatist battle droids, but…”

   “It’s an important duty.  I can hardly think of a more noble endeavor,” he told you, eyes looking distant and warm as the younglings’ laughter carried.  “I myself hope to dedicate more time to the cause.  I haven’t been as involved as I’d like to be.”

   “Well, we could always use the help.  Besides, you have become a sort of legend around here.”

   Obi-Wan’s brow lifted curiously.  “Is that so?”

   “It is, and you have Anakin to thank for that.  He stops by every now and then and shares a story or two about his and your adventures on the battlefield.”

   “That sounds like Anakin,” he sighed.

   “He’s an inspiration to the younglings, as are you,” you paused.  “To me as well.”

   “Obi-Wan!”

  “Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan!”

   The group began to gather around the two of you, their eyes wide with admiration and curiosity.

   “Well hello there,” he said.  “I was beginning to think I’d gone unnoticed.”

   “Where’d you go? Did you fight Grievous?” Petro’s questions poured out quickly.

   “Was Anakin there?” Zatt asked, tipping his head to one side.  “He said he was going on a mission too.”

   “Alright, alright,” you laughed.  “Let’s not overwhelm him.”

   “I’ll tell you all about the mission another time,” Obi-Wan assured them.  “For now, you might want to run.”

   “What?  Why?”

   “Because it looks like Byph is still ‘it,’ and he’s sneaking up behind you.”

   “Ahhh!”  They burst into laughter and screams as they scattered once more, leaving you and Obi-Wan chuckling.  One of the smaller younglings fell down in front of him.  He simply took her hand and gently pulled her to her feet.

   “Careful, little one.”  His warning was tender, and you watched the scene with heart thumping.  Obi-Wan was always good with younglings.  His kindly nature and humility made him quite popular. 

   He’d make a good parent, you thought.  Realizing where your mind was taking you, you shook your head.  That was hardly appropriate for one to think about a fellow jedi.  Romantic feelings were normal, but these were driving you to imagine a life with him outside the order.  You imagined a loving man with whom you could have your own children with.  The way he was gazing at you made you feel embarrassed, as if he sensed your thoughts.

   “___________?”

   “Yeah?”

   “Are you hungry?”

   You glanced down at your stomach as it gave another rumble.  Ah, right.  You skipped out on lunch to join the youngling class.  How embarrassing he heard that!  “Uh yeah, I missed lunch.”

   “I’m rather hungry myself,” he said.  “Shall we go get something together?”

   You nodded, smiling.  “We shall.”  You looked at the younglings.  “I’ll see you all soon.”

   “Okay, bye ___________!”

   “Bye Obi-Wan!”

   They headed out the door, their chatter echoing down the hall.  You walked alongside Obi-Wan on your way to get something to eat.  He was always pleasant company.  He walked with his hands folded behind his back and his gaze occasionally resting on you.  You had longed to see him again, but when the moment was finally there, you weren’t quite sure what to say.  Finally, you thought of something.

   “Did you need me for something?”

   “Pardon?”

   “You said you might find me there with the younglings,” you said.  “Does that mean you were looking for me?” 

   He opened his mouth as if he had a clever response, but his voice came out in a subtle stutter before he found the words. “I thought I’d pay you a visit since I arrived back on Coruscant.  I merely...wanted to see you.”

   “Oh, I see.”

   “Is that a problem?” The question wasn’t irritated.  His eyes searched you with genuine concern.  He had made it known that he sought you out for no reason in particular other than his enjoyment of your company, and he didn’t want this knowledge to make you uncomfortable.

   “No, no, not at all.”  You shook your head.  “I’m glad you did.  I’m pleased to see you.  It was only a few weeks, but it felt like so long.”  You went silent after that statement, unsure if you crossed a line either.  You were supposed to be a jedi free from attachment, and the last thing you wanted was Obi-Wan Kenobi to think you were needy.

   “I know exactly what you mean,” he muttered in agreement.  His eyes went to the floor in a way that suggested he had something on his mind.  The implication that he may have missed you too made you want to hide your face shyly, but you remained nonchalant.

   “When do you leave Coruscant again?”

   “Not for some time, I hope.  Like I said, I’d like to be more involved with training the next generation for a while.”  He glanced your way, eyes crinkling as he smiled.  “But my apologies, that means you’ll have to see more of me.  I know how much of a burden I am.”

   “Indeed.”  You returned the smile.  “How terrible.”

   The warmth between you two was unmistakable during the playful banter.  Part of you was thrilled that he would be around, that you wouldn’t have to say “goodbye” for a while.  The other part was worried what it might bring upon both of you.  If the two of you spent more time together with the younglings, it would do you no good as far as dismissing the attachment you had to him.  And what of the Council?  Would they take notice?

   Obi-Wan sat across from you at one of the long dining tables, and those doubts one-by-one went out the viewport.  He spoke about his mission away and then listened as you told him about some of your adventures on Coruscant.  Some involved your travels outside the jedi walls while others were about your daily struggles and victories with the little ones.  You told him of a youngling still in the nursery that ran off without their robes that you had to chase down and dress.  Fortunately the nursing droids had proper security so the youngling didn’t leave the nursery.  Obi-Wan’ laughter rang out clear as a bell as he tipped his head back at the outrageous tale.  Something fluttered in your chest as he lost himself in the humor for a moment before taking a breath and sighing.

   “Well it seems I have much to look forward to,” he chuckled.  “I recall once you said you wished you had some war stories to share, but it seems you do now.”

   “Some days it is a battle,” you agreed.

   “Believe me, I know.”  He gazed at you then, that glint in his eyes as he smiled tenderly.  You found yourself unable to look away.  It was like a magnet pulling you to him, and if there weren’t a table separating you, you might have even leaned in for a kiss.  It was like electricity crackling between you, and you had to force yourself to glance down at your now-empty tray.  The time working with Obi-Wan again would be interesting.  Even after only a few hours together, you felt that same pull that you fought for years.  You wondered how long you could go without giving in.  You wondered if he felt it as strongly as you did.  By the look flashing in his eyes as you leaned in ever so slightly to scoot out of your seat, you figured he might.

   An interesting time indeed. 

[hiscyarika]

I hope it’s okay for me to think of my own word for you to write... hmm let’s say SOUL! Please write about Din, the reader and baby yoda with the word soul in it! Thanks!!! ❤️✨🥺

Word Count: ~900

Pairing: Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) x Reader

Prompt: “Soul”

Warning(s): None

A/N: Hey! This has been sitting in my inbox for a while, so sorry for the wait. But I finally had a scene strike me and I wrote it out in this little drabble today. I hope you enjoy! Thanks for sending this in! 💕

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—

You’re alone when you wake in bed.

Fighting your bleary vision and the urge to just close your eyes again, you reach over to Din’s side of the bed, sighing softly when you find that the sheets have long since gone cold. This isn’t an abnormal occurrence. You just wish that your riduur would allow himself to sleep in sometimes.

You push yourself up and force your eyes open. As you rub away the last dregs of sleep, you notice that it’s a little earlier than even Din would normally get up. The sun has just barely climbed above the horizon, golden rays only beginning to break through the blues and purples of the early dawn. You shake your head, standing and listening for a moment. Perhaps the child woke early and could not be soothed back to sleep. Somehow Din always manages to keep the little one from waking you before you’re ready.

You shiver as your bare feet hit the cold floor, and you reach over to grab the robe you keep near the bed. You pull it on as you walk out of the bedroom, heading first to the neighboring room where Grogu sleeps. At least, that’s where he sleeps on nights that he doesn’t climb between you and Din. You certainly don’t mind when he does. As you come to the doorway though, you immediately see that the room is empty. Your riduur is nowhere to be seen, and Grogu is not sleeping soundly in the wooden crib that Din built for him not long after you settled here.

You hum softly in amusement as it occurs to you that the two of them are likely in the kitchen. The little one never seems to be full, constantly snacking on whatever he can get his tiny claws around. But even as your feet pad quietly in that direction, you hear nothing. Not Din’s gentle murmurs or Grogu’s hums and coos. The cottage is silent.

When you don’t find your riduur or your ad’ika in the kitchen either, you find yourself a bit panicked. Your heart starts to beat faster in your chest, and you move much faster through the cottage trying to find the two of them. You call their names, hoping that maybe one of them will answer, but there is no response. And in your head, you know that they’re around somewhere, that there’s nothing wrong and neither of them are in danger, but you still can’t help the way that fear grips you. You’ve spent too much of your life fighting and on the run for your body to accept the things your mind knows logically to be true.

You don’t even slip on a pair of shoes before you step out the front door. The grass is soft and wet beneath your feet, but you pay it no mind as you look around. It doesn’t take you but a second or two to spot them.

Din sits in the grass with Grogu in his lap, several yards away from the cottage. From your distance, you can see the little one pointing towards the treeline, and when you look, you see a few small, antlered creatures just on the edge of the trees. You let out a heavy breath, glad to see that the two of them are safe. The anxiety in your chest is immediately replaced by a sense of warmth and peace at the sight.

Quietly, you walk towards the pair, cautious in your movements so that you don’t scare the creatures away. Din is the first to notice your presence. He goes quiet, no longer murmuring softly to Grogu, and instead he turns to face you, eyes soft and gaze gentle as he looks at you. Silently, he opens his arm to you, and you don’t hesitate to oblige. Even though the morning dew immediately dampens your robe, you sit comfortably next to him, soothed by his warmth and his close proximity.

He presses a soft kiss to your temple. “Good morning, cyarika,” he says quietly, his fingers trailing gently up and down your arm as he holds you to him.

“Good morning, my love,” you murmur, turning to kiss his cheek. “It took me a while to find you,” you tell him, though not at all to scold him.

He chuckles softly. “The kid got up with the sun and then saw these from out the window. I thought I’d bring him out to watch while you got some extra sleep,” he says, nodding in the direction of the antlered creatures. “He’s done surprisingly well at keeping quiet.”

Hearing the acknowledgement, Grogu looks up at both of you, smiling and quickly clambering out of Din’s lap to instead settle himself in yours. You smile brightly, holding the little one close. “Good morning to you too,” you tell him, gently stroking one of his ears. He pulls excitedly at your own, laughing softly as he points to the creatures, trying to get you to look at them.

You giggle quietly, still minding your volume. “Yes, my little love. I see them. They’re beautiful, aren’t they?,” you ask, watching as the smallest one bends its neck down to graze. Grogu quiets in your lap again and you lean a bit heavier into Din’s side. “This is nice,” you whisper to him.

“Yes it is,” Din agrees in a soft, reverent murmur. You take in a slow, deep breath, humming in contentment as you exhale. This peaceful moment is one that you want to absorb and immortalize in your memory. It’s a perfect picture of what you’ve fought so hard for all your life. And now, your soul can rest easy.

---

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[lovemesomesurveys]

When was the last time you wanted to wear something but it was still ‘in the wash’ or ‘not yet dried’? I wanted to wear my Baby Yoda/Grogu Christmas sweatshirt on Christmas, but it didn’t end up getting washed.

Any new subjects for the upcoming school year? I’m not in school anymore.

Last time you got a haircut? Back in February of last year. Almost a year ago now.

Have you ever rode Business Class? No.

Paris, Texas or Paris, France? Paris, France, please.

How much time/percentage is left on your laptop battery? It’s at 100% because it’s plugged in.

Do you like to know how things are made? Yeah, a lot of it is interesting.

Care to post the most recent tagged picture of you on Facebook? No.

HAVE YOU WATCHED BRUNO YET!?  I saw the first one. I don’t have any interest in seeing the new one.

Is there any song that’s stuck in your head?  Not at the moment.

What does your school bag look like?  --

Is it anyone’s birthday today? I’m sure it’s a lot of people’s birthday today, but no one I know.

With your guy friends, are you known as a girl or a buddy? I don’t have any friends.

Do you own a foam finger? No.

Where was the last place you dined in with your friends? It’s been a few years since the last time I did that, so I don’t recall. Yes, I actually used to have friends and I actually used to go out. *gasp*

Name all the websites on your bookmark toolbar here! Google, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, YouTube, and Pinterest. 

Have you actually ever eaten a wedding cake? Yes.

Gotcher back to school outfit yet? Or do you just don’t care? --

Do you get email updates from Urban Dictionary?  No.

Do you think some babies are ugly? Aw, that’s mean.

Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? Aw, those were fun times as a kid.

Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC?  I don’t know. 

Do you love stuff crusted pizza? I don’t eat the crusts, so.

Is Lil Wayne all that he’s cracked up to be? I like some his features and songs.

Who are you usually attracted to in bands, the singer, the guitarist, bassist, or drummer? I wasn’t attracted to many band guys, honestly. 

Do you apply lotion after you bathe? No. I should.

What’s your favorite color? Pastels, rose gold, mint green, coral, and yellow.

Who did you have your most amazing kiss with?  Joseph.

Have you ever hugged a stranger?  No.

What’s a random act of kindness you have done to help a stranger? I’ve given money to homeless people.

Has a Youtube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? Ha, no. What’s a fear you’ve conquered? Hmm. I don’t know.

Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? Yeah.

Have you ever received a homemade card from someone?  Yes.

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? No.

Do you like Robert Frost poems?  I only know one.

Do you go to church every Sunday?  Yes. I attend via livestream. 

Ever had a drunken night in Mexico or Las Vegas? Nope.

Have you ever been to Arkansas?  No.

Where would you go on a road trip with your best friend? There’s so many places I’d love to travel to.

Do you know anyone with Harry Potter glasses?  Growing up I had the round frames.

Longest you’ve ever stayed on the phone? Houuuurs. I used to talk to my best friends in elementary and middle school on the phone for-fucking-EVER. I’m not sure of the longest bit of time though. <<< Haha, I actually used to do that, too, which is so shocking because I hate talking on the phone now. I kinda did that in high school the first two years a few times, but after that something switched and I never wanted to talk on the phone. It became just text me or message me online.

Have you ever been in a relationship on and off for more than a year?  Joseph and I, whatever it was we had going on, was off and on for a few years. We never were officially together, but we had something going on and it would seem it was going in that direction but then nope.

What about just for a year straight?  Like I said, it went on for 3 years.

Do gangs scare you?  I mean, yeah...

Have you met a best friend on a cruise before?  I’ve never been on a cruise.

How many high schools are in your city/town?  Like 4.

If offered, would you want to go to fashion week in Paris? Can I just have the trip to Paris?

If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. 

What are your thoughts on fake reality television? I’m a sucker for reality TV. *shrug*

Would you want to own your own island? Nah. I’m good with my Animal Crossing Island lol. <<< Ha, same.

Who killed John Bennet Ramsey?  Her brother is kinda sus. I could see it being a situation where the family covered up for him because he was just a child. Or, perhaps one of the parents. Again, it being an accidental situation and they just covered it up.

What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? I don’t think about it. 

Do you even like politics? I don’t like it, but I try to follow it at least somewhat because it is important and affects all of us. It’s stressful and overwhelming and confusing, though, so I don’t follow it as closely as maybe I should.

Have you ever seen a guy wearing hoop or dangling earrings? Yeah.

What’s it like at raves? I’ve never been. I’ve never had any desire to go to one.

Do you do a nice Scottish accent?  I can’t do any accents.

Do you think that all people in England have really bad teeth?  No? That’s an awful stereotype.

What is your state nickname (The Golden State, The Cheese State, etc)? The Golden State.

Would you rather lose your best friend or your boyfriend? I’d rather not lose anyone in my life, thanks.

Do you think people who pay hundreds of dollars on perfume are ridiculous? Spend your money on what you want, but I don’t spend that much on perfume. I think it’s crazy how expensive they can be. 

What is the last thing you tried on in a store? A jacket. That’s the only thing I ever try on because I can easily just put it on real quick right there and it doesn’t require much. I never try on clothes or anything otherwise. 

Do you know who Georgia Nicholson is?  Nope.

Do you ever sleep through your alarm? It happens. Thankfully, it hasn’t happened for anything important in a long time, but I sometimes set alarms when I don’t want to sleep in too late or I want to try and get up by a certain time for whatever reason and oftentimes I just end up hitting snooze or turning it off.

What is the dominant color in the room you’re in?  There’s a lot of colors going on.

Do you think Sophia Bush is a good actress? I’ve only seen her in a couple things, I think.

When did you realize you are no longer a child?  I’m not sure if it was one specific moment. 

Is sleeping naked more comfortable then in clothes?  Noo, not for me. I don’t feel comfortable naked.

Does your best friend wear makeup? Yeah.

Who is someone you do not understand at all?  Myself. What is your morning routine? When I get up, I take my medicine and lie around for awhile checking social media and whatnot before finally dragging myself outta bed for coffee. 

Have you already met your true love?  No.

Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone?  Yeah.

Do you prefer to fix the problems or just end the relationship? I would want to try and work on things first. I wouldn’t just end a relationship right away because we had a problem. Now, if we had a lot of problems and nothing was getting resolved or it just wasn’t working out even after trying to work on things, then it would be time to end the relationship. But you’re going to experience problems in a relationship, you can’t expect not to. It’s how you go about them.

Have you ever accidentally stepped on a cat tail?  Not a cat, but a dog. I always feel like the worst person in the world whenever I’ve accidentally done that with their tail or paw. Gahhh. And my doggo (and my previous doggos) acts like she did something wrong and snuggles up next to me and is all lovey and it’s like, ‘nooo, I’m the evil one here you didn’t do anything wrong you precious angel!’

Did they meow really loud? They let out a yelp.

Do you ever go to Plyrics.com?  I’m sure that was one of the sites I used back in the day for lyrics. Nowadays I just quickly Google a song and the lyrics pop right up.

Did you know that when a worm is cut in two both pieces grow again and continue living?  Jlkfjkdfjl ew yes I’ve heard that. That gives me the creeps just thinking about it, thanks for ending on that note....

[marcussour]

BTW, since it’s been already a week and since I guess it’s no longer a spoiler, I think it’s finally time to talk about Ahsoka and why her appearance in The Mandalorian was so disappointing.

First, a visual thing. This is how Ahsoka looks like in Star Wars Rebels (a show set 10 years before the events of The Mandalorian), where we last saw her:

And this is how she looks in The Mandalorian:

Even when taking into account the stylization that animation provides, the whole thing with her montrals (the togruta’s “horns”) is there to show the age and growth of the character. Ahsoka’s 41 y/o during The Mandalorian, which is older than what Shaak Ti was during Episode 3, and Shaak Ti looked like this:

Now, I understand that there’s a whole practicality reason behind the “shortening” of the montrals (apparently it had to do with confort and it’s appearance during action scenes), so you can kinda overlook it, but it still feels weird that Ahsoka in her early 40′s looked younger than when she was in her 30′s in Rebels.

Besides, if Disney has the money to digitally erase the “jeans dude” that they overlooked in the background of a scene 2 episodes ago, I’m pretty sure they could have fixed Ahsoka’s montrals during post-production so they looked better.

But beyond the whole appearance (which, like I said, can somewhat be overlooked), my biggest issues where related to the casting and characterization.

Starting by the casting, I know that Rosario Dawson was always the dreamed fan casting. Heck, it was even an option that I liked a couple of years ago, but all that changed the moment the transphobia allegations appeared and that many people kinda overlooked.

With independence of the rumors before this season regarding her apperance and casting, I was shocked to the mere idea that one of my favourite characters was going to be played by someone who had that cloud over them with allegations of physical and psychological violence related to transphobia.

Now, the fact that the person who made the allegations withdrew 18 of the 20 charges (without settlement), including all of those that are related to transphobic violence, changes the panorama somewhat, but the shroud of doubts will always remain (especially when we’re talking about accusations directed to a celebrity who happens to be dating an US senator) and that was always going to affect my reaction towards the episode.

Especially knowing that the social media vocal fan casting was the main reason why Dawson’s was given the role according to Dave Filoni. Because I guess people always assumed that Ashley Eckstein couldn’t play the character in live action, which I think is silly because look at this:

That’s Ashley cosplaying as Ahsoka and doing a magnificent job about it. If she could achieve this with only (expensive I asume) cosplay, imagine what LucasFilm could’ve done with the budget they have for the show. 

Especially because you not only prevent the issues regarding the casting, but also because Ashley’s already inside the mind of the character having played it for 12 years; and also because her voice for the character is really special.

Even if she was Anakin’s padawan, in a way she’s also like the daughter or little sister of Anakin, Obi-Wan and Padme. She’s learned and absorbed things from the 3 of them and her voice, especially in Rebels, reflects that. There’s a calm born from experience, and a special type of solemnity and gravitas, and there’s this hint of pride and arrogance (like Maul’s told her during their fight during the siege of Mandalore in Clone Wars).

And, with exception of the scenes where Ahsoka was testing Grogu Baby Yoda and helping Din connect with him, I never felt that in any other part of the episode. And that’s something that goes hand in hand with the characterization problems.

Sure, the show gives you the idea that she’s been for quite some time trying to liberate Corvus, and you can understand that they did things the way they did during their introduction to awe the audience (especially the one that never saw the animated shows), but it’s hard to reconcile her introduction with the Ahsoka we knew beforehand.

In fact, to me the “real” Ahsoka doesn’t appear until the scene where Magistrate Morgan Elsbeth threatens her with the amount of innocent people she’s going to kill in case Ahsoka kept opposing her. Because that’s Ahsoka to me, the one that puts the safety and well being of others above her own all the time. The Ahsoka that, even when she was in dire danger during order 66, never stopped caring and thinking about the wellbeing of the clones that, beyond being her subordinates, she saw them as her brothers. That’s her character’s essence, and while we saw some of it, it just wasn’t enough.

The other big problem I think with her characterization is her refusal to train Baby Yoda considering his attachment towards Mando and how that can end badly, because she saw it first hand with regards to Anakin (yes, it was one heck of a scene I’ll admit, but in the great context it feels weird).

Obviously there’s a practic reason why they won’t do it (of course the show is not going to get rid of Baby Yoda), but it feels weird when Ahsoka is supposedly in the middle of the search for Ezra and Thrawn (I know that there’s been some talk or rumors of a retcon where the Rebels epilogue, that happened before the events of the Mandalorian, is supposedly going to be placed further down the line, in order to have a new show where Ahsoka and Sabine are looking for Ezra, but that hasn’t been confirmed). 

Yes, I know that it was part of Baby Yoda’s journey and whether he ends up on the light or dark side, but the whole talk about attachment feels like something the padawan Ahsoka from the first seasons of Clone Wars would say, not the Ahsoka that left the jedi order, that saw how the rest of the galaxy lived and thought of the jedi, and that knew that, despite Palpatine’s work, the jedi had a lot to blame regarding being architects of their own demise. There are plenty of similarities between Ahsoka’s and Luke’s thoughts in The Last Jedi, in regards of the jedi and the conceptual failures in their reasoning before order 66.

So to see Ahsoka in The Mandalorian being so “binary” in her way of thinking, so black and white, so “jedi”, felt like a regression of her character development. Of course, something could’ve happened to her after Ezra saved her through the World between Worlds, and then after the Rebels epilogue, but until we don’t know for sure, it felt like a step back for her growth, especially considering how many people where introduced to her through The Mandalorian, it’s kinda of a disservice to the character (here’s hoping that enough people check Clone Wars and Rebels to see the real character journey that she went through).

So, that’s it. I’ve been wanting to write this down for days. Because even though the episode was really good, there were enough reasons and things that made it impossible for me to enjoy it as much as I would’ve like in other circumstances. Yes, there were some things that I’ve been able to rationalize and understand after the episode aired, but I’m never getting my first impression back. 

Ahsoka is one of my favourite characters of everything (I’m pretty sure that, if it weren’t for the childhood nostalgia regarding having seen the OT when I was a child -and being obsessed with SW ever since- she would probably be above Luke in my list of favourite characters), and Clone Wars was a really important show for me (after Empire Strikes Back, is my favourite Star Wars anything).

And I can’t just conform or be happy with her appearance in this episode. The whole “just being there” is not enough, especially when you see how characters like Bo-Katan, Cobb Vanth or Boba Fett were all given their due and well portrayed in a great light, but you can’t say the same about a character that’s more important, and who sadly had this whole cloud surrounding it since the first casting rumours appeared.

Ahsoka is a character that represents the best of Star Wars, so it’s sad to see that her appearance and portrayal not only was dissapointing, but it ended up hurting so many people in the LGBTQA+ community, and especially in the trans community, many of whom are Star Wars fans that have the same passion and love for Ahsoka. And like I said the other day, the trans community concerns must be front and center and must be listened by everyone.

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. How did your parents come up with your name? Is your name anything like what you might name one of your potential future children? My dad has said he liked the name Stephanie and there was a character on some show he watched in the 80s with that name and so he suggested it to my mom and she liked it, too. As for myself, I’m not having children. 

2. When was the last time you changed your mind about something? What was it about? I was going to reschedule my doctor appointment I had yesterday, but I ended up just keeping it to get it over with.

3. Would you say that you are an indecisive person, or do you have little problem with making decisions? I do have trouble making decisions. 

4. How much time do you spend in the yard/outdoor area where you live? What do you tend to use those areas for? I don’t spend anytime in my yard, front or back. I’m not an outdoorsy person unless I’m at the beach. 

5. What are some of the oldest things within your bedroom? How about the newest? One of the things is my dresser that I’ve had since I was a kid. As for newest, the stuff I got for Christmas such as an R2D2 themed mini backpack and a Baby Yoda/Grogu animatronic. 

6. When feelings of boredom creep over you, what entertaining activities do you use to combat them? My days consist of the same activities and usually it’s fine, but there’s some days where those things just don’t do it for me so that sucks. I just end up lounging around and zoning out to the TV, maybe take a nap.

7. When was the last time you could not stand to be around someone? I wish I could get away from myself a lot of the time.

8. When you last asked for help, what did you need help doing? I recently asked my mom for help with a personal thing.

9. What is the worst bit of advice someone has ever given you? Did you realize it was awful from the start, or did you follow it? Hmm. I’m blanking at the moment.

10. If you are in school, are you out for the summer yet? Was the last semester your final one of high school? If so, are you looking forward to graduation activities, or would you rather they were just over and done with? I’m done with school. 

11. Who do you know that has a music taste similar to yours? Who do you know with a taste that is nearly opposite? My mom, brother, and I like a lot of the same. I like variety, so I share the same music taste with a lot of people. 

12. If one of your friends/acquaintances dressed in a way that seemed somewhat ridiculous to you, would you tell them, or let them wear their preferred outfit in peace? Hey, if that’s what they liked then go for it. Who am I to say anything just because I personally don’t like the style. It doesn’t matter what I think, I’m not the one wearing it.

13. How would you respond if someone you cared about honestly disliked what you were wearing for some reason? Would it make you inclined to change, or would you continue to wear what you had on? I can’t imagine why they’d have such an issue with leggings and graphic tees, but oh well. This is what I like to wear. 

14. Do you think that waiting until you are able to support a child is a realistic expectation for having sex? What are your expectations/morals regarding your sex life? If you are no longer a virgin, do you think that you made the right decision to start when you did? No, probably not. But that’s why it’s important to take the necessary precautions to try and prevent that from happening if you’re not ready. You have to know getting pregnant is a possibility. I’m still a virgin. 

15. Are there any foods that you love in spite of the fact that they are unhealthy? How often do you eat those particular foods? Everything I eat, ha. I’m not a healthy eater, but to be honest it’s not something I think much about. I just like to eat what I want. 

16. Does anyone ever comment upon your weight? If so, how do you react to their comments/compliments? Yes. I’m too thin, actually I’m underweight, so I get comments on that. I’m actually quite self-conscious about it. I’ve been trying the past few years to put back on some weight, but I haven’t been able to. It’s not that I’m not eating, but my appetite has changed significantly from a few years ago and it’s been hard. I don’t like hearing how I should eat more and “get some meat on those bones.” It hasn’t been that simple for me. Or hear about my stick arms or chicken legs.

17. What is something you wish more people would notice about you, or compliment you on? Why do you think this quality is not often noticed by others? Nothing, really. I’ve been especially self-conscious these past few years and I’m also just really shy and awkward, I don’t desire to be more noticed or get complimented. There’s nothing compliment-worthy about me anyway. 

18. What was going on the last time you felt as though your life was taking a turn in a different direction? Soon after I graduated in 2015. That’s when everything took a turn for the worst and I’ve been going through it ever since. 

19. Is college something you want to experience? Why/why not? If you are already in college, do you think that you made the right choice as far as where you are attending, and what major/field of study you are pursuing? I majored in psych and graduated with my BA. I truly thought I was making the right decision at the time, but now... :/ My degree has been collecting dust on a shelf ever since and I have no interest in pursuing anything in that field anymore. I honestly have no idea what I want to do. I don’t know what else I would have pursued if not psychology. I genuinely was interested in it and thought I’d want to pursue something in that realm. I still am interested in the subject itself. Gahh, I just don’t feel cut out for anything. There’s nothing I’m good at.

20. After leaving a particular school, did you ever go back to visit your teachers? Was it weird to walk the halls of a school you previously attended? I did that when I was in high school once where I went back to my previous school, which was a K-8th grade school, and saw some of my old teachers.

21. Describe a social time that you had this week, if any? How about a time when you wished to be alone and unsocial? I don’t have a social life anymore. 

22. Are there certain stereotypes/groups of people that you tend to avoid? Is there a reason for this? Or, are you someone who doesn’t care about what stereotype someone might fall under? I just try my best to avoid anyone who seems like a creeper and gives off uncomfortable vibes for me. I won’t hesitate to block you if you’re making me feel some type of way. I don’t have time to put up with that nonsense. <<< Yeah, I judge people individually and what vibe they give off. If I feel uncomfortable or they give off bad vibes to me, then I avoid them.

23. How did you last injure yourself? Was anyone around to see this take place? If so, was it at all embarrassing? I don’t remember, actually. It’s been awhile since I’ve had any injuries.

24. Do you think that it is possible to cease loving a family member? Why/why not? Are there any immediate family members of yours that you do not love? What caused that rift between you? Not for me, no. My immediate family and I have always been very close. My family is everything to me. 

25. If you could only bring one album with you on a road trip, which would it be? What made you choose this album? None. My family just listens to their Spotify in their car.

26. When was the last time you had unrequited feelings for someone? A few years ago.

27. Other than the computer and the parts relating to it, what is the most expensive thing on your desk/in your immediate vicinity? My iPhone 12 Pro Max.

28. If you post pictures or quotes with your surveys, what is it that causes you to post something? Are you going for a theme, or is it just things you like? I don’t do that.

29. Is there a limit to what you will share about yourself in surveys? Where would you say that line is drawn? Of course, but I am quite open I think.

30. Do you give insincere apologies? Or, are you the type to give them out only when you genuinely feel that way? If I apologize, I mean it.

31. Do you trust the apologies of others, or do you prefer to wait until their actions show a change? I can accept their verbal apology, but I’ll want to see their actions.

32. Who was the last person to exit your life? How about the last person to enter it to a significant degree? Ty. He was the last to enter in a significant way and the last to leave.

33. If you work, what is the hardest part about your job? Did you expect that, or did it come as a surprise? If you have not yet worked, what are some fears or concerns you have about holding a job? I just have no idea what I want or could do. I don’t feel skilled at anything. I’m not especially good at anything. I just really don’t know.

34. Do you know anyone who gets a lot of things just handed to them? Or, are you one of those people? Does it ever make you envious? Why/why not? I do know people that seem to have a lot handed to them.

35. When picking out a bathing suit or beach outfit, what kinds of styles do you look for? Are you comfortable displaying your physical form? I don’t wear bathing suits. I also don’t wear tank tops or shorts. My beach attire consists of what I normally wear, leggings and graphic tees. 

36. When was the last time that you compared yourself to someone else? Is this something that you tend to do? Recently. Yeah, I do tend to do that a lot. I think about other people my age or even younger than I am and where they are in life versus where I’m at. Everyone seems to be much further ahead than I am.

37. What kind of expectations would you say you set for yourself? Do you aim high/low? Or, do you prefer to set no expectations and just go with the flow? I’m just floating aimlessly through life it seems.

38. What was the last helpful thing you did for someone else? Does it bother you when other people ask you for your help? Uhh. I helped my mom last night with a few small tasks. 

39. When was the last time you refused to do something for someone, and why? Hmm. I don’t know.

40. Do you ever worry about being remembered after you die? How would you like others to remember you, if you care?   That’s not something I’ve really thought about. I know my family would always remember me, so that’s really all that matters to me.

41. Are you someone who fears abandonment? Have you been through anything which might cause that fear? No.

42. Are you more inclined to be clingy or detached while in a relationship? I feel like I’d be detached if I were to be in a relationship now. I’m not generally a clingy person, either. I need a balance of time with that person and our own time. 

43. If you found out your parents were divorcing (or getting back together if they were already divorced), how would you react to this? Is this even something that you think is possible to happen? It would be difficult and I’d be upset, of course. Even though I’m 31 years old, I still live at home with my parents so it would have an affect on me in that way as well. I know I would live with my mom if there were to happen, but still. Things would certainly be different and weird for awhile. 44. What is one opinion or view of yours that has changed since you were little? What is one that has stayed the same? Hmmm.

45. Do you ever make assumptions about survey-makers based upon what questions they ask? There have been times for sure. Like, sometimes there’s questions that are just so out there or disturbing and I’m like wtf??