#he wants to build a world where children wouldn't cry anymore

[su-talks-about-things]

There's something so deeply sad about this picture.

He's so far from her.

Like he's outside looking in...

[yellowcry]

A honour of you

Camilo often babysat children in the village.

When another orphan had appear without anyone expecting, he just had to lend a hand in taking care of her

Julieta sighed, dropping into the seat. Her arms trembled from exhaustion as she felt limp. Succumbing to the pain after the long night. She was tired from sleepless night already, the eldest triplet was never the one to enjoy post-midnight existing out of her bed. So of she had to be awake it always meant there was something very serious.

"Amor?" Agustin rubbed his eyes, crouching next to her and pulling woman against himself. "What was it?"

Her head fell against his chest. Not crying, after years pf healing she was used to bad outcomes. But it didn't mean witnessing somebody fading so quickly wasn't upsetting at all. Julieta's tongue was sore. Heavy. 

"Señorita Riaña died in childbirth."

She could see her husband's face dropping. Unlike some people, they weren't all that into gossips that walked around the town. But it didn't mean they were blind to the loud stories. Maria did have a serious argument with her partner a while ago and both seemingly hated each other. Wanting to do nothing with one another until Jose packed away and left. 

Agustín patted circles against Julieta's back. "You did your best."

"Poor girl." She sighed. The fact of adult death didn't sting as much anymore. But there was also an orphan baby who could only hope to get lucky enough to be one of adopted at some point.

Camilo shrugged at the sound on shutters creaking as the draught creeped under the buttons of his shirt. The building was known to him, when you are official babysitter of Encanto, the orphanage wouldn't be the last place you known. The building wasn't all that big, with how small Encanto was, it was really rare to have newbies in here.

And he always loved kids. So his heart felt a direct responsibility at the idea of them having no parental guidance. Of course, it was impossible to mother everyone at once, but he ensured to do his best and pay a visit once in a while.

Señora Ortiz, Osvaldo's niece a few years older than Camilo, nodded at him, gesturing to come in as she cradled a furl. "Oh, hola, are you in for a visit again?"

Camilo smiled stretching imposingly. "Like always." Now at the closer look, what she held was a little baby. "A new one?" He blinked, digging his fingers into the yellow fabric of his ruana. Then added. "Is this that one child whose mother died a while ago?"

He heard of it in the home, of course. Just barely. Tía said it's not her place to elaborate. And she was one of very few members who knew how to hold their mouth shut. But Camilo knew it was bad. What he knew is that another child was left without their parents.

Mayra signed. "I don't have a prepared place." It was one of requests if anybody wanted to leave their child. At least warn a but before so the kid wouldn't get in empty-handed. With how small their village was, there was no need for a big traditional orphanage always set for a new child.  So it needed at least a week to get a proper amount of supplies (And with Dolores you couldn't just leave the aby somewhere without her questioning where had it gone)

Well, not this time.

The Madrigal took baby, cradling her for a bit. He wasn't a stranger to doing so. "I'll look over her. You can rest."

Woman smiled at him, thankful as the baby sobbed between the waving movements.  Camilo traced his fingers against the peach skin. Cooing, even if newborn had no chance to understand it.

Somewhere, in-between his chores, Camilo made sure to daily check on Teresa. Her mother had mentioned it was her name for a girl among dome of her friends. And letting deceased name the last thing she brought into the world just seemed right. The girl was a newborn and needed an adult supervision on constant basis. Doctor said she was weaker than it would be preferable. Not to the deathly risk, but with how fragile children were, it was a big problem regardless of how little the damage was. Or, well, maybe it just were Camilo's mom instincts again

So it was very in-handy if he came to help and looked over the baby on a everyday basis just to know she was okay. Village children were in his care and he was looking out to make sure they were okay. 

Teresa cried a lot. She was a pretty hard baby, constantly snorting and weeping for reasons really hard to understand even when she seemed to have everything. With it, Camilo began to stay in the night shift, to ensure the sleep of the girl was soft and warm. Not like it helped much. Teresa was waking ten times on the night, crying so much it was impossible to stay focused. But he still had appreciate the experience and time they had spent together. It wasn't actually very typical for him to look over infants. Most of his wards were at least a bit older. And Camilo knew he wanted to have a kid of his own one day (or probably children). And, therefore helping with other babies was useful. 

The things were pacing. Camilo was getting used to take care of Teresa. She was a bit cranky, but overall a cute girl. And so, he found himself going to an orphanage over and over again. Just by some weird instinct. Wanting to ensure she was okay. Looking over her became almost a daily part of Madrigal's life.

At first, Camilo did think it was just his parental nature that was pushed on all children. But there was a big difference between all the kids that he babysat and one specific girl. They had primarily caretakers for them. Oswaldo's sobrina did her best for orphans, sure, but she still wasn't exactly a parent. And with how often Camilo checked on Teresa, he found himself taking more and more part on the free spot. Where the mother and father were supposed to embrace and hold close. And what there brownish eyes never knew because of the fate's cruel joke.

Camilo didn't mind looking after the girl. It was his job still to babysit the children if their families couldn't do it.

But the more he thought abouth it, the more protective Camilo felt about the whole situation. When idea of losing the parent replacement place in case of adoption stung. And the guilt pinched his heart. Camilo wished for all orphans to be adopted. But having the girl taken into a family other than his? It was painful. Upsetting and unfair. Because Camilo got attached to her like to his own blood.

Even as the idea of getting adoption was growing more evident, Camilo didn't immediately jump forward. The Madrigal knew himself and the fact that he would want to adopt before thinking of everything wasn't a big surprise. But he wanted to unsure his own confidence. Which wasn't trembling. Heavy as rock he leaned on. Making him more and more sure that the fact of officially adopting was what he wanted.

The next thing was actually telling the family. In the very least, it would be good to warn about his plans beforehand so the rest of them would get prepared.

"Mamá, I wanna talk." He gulped, peeking into the room. Of course, he was a bit of a mama's boy. And, naturally, Pepa would be the first one he actually talked with. 

His mother turned around, throwing back her patched in blond braid. Green eyes scanning the boy. She approached, energetic and rapid as always. "Mijo, is there something wrong?"

Camilo breathed out, frantically shaking his head. "It's fine. I just"

The words were stuck in his throat. Of course, he was worried. He was practically announcing his mother she was about to become an Abuela. And even if he knew the family would support him, the fact of telling them still was worrying "I decided, I want to adopt. Than orphane baby. Teresa."

Green eyes widened, staring at the boy. Pepa's pale hands rubbed her hair. "Are you sure?" She cupped a handful of his cheek into her hand. 

Camilo nodded. He was thinking about it for a while. Only growing more confident as he thought of the whole situation. And he always wanted to have a big family. Again, his love of caring for kids taking effect. He wasn't new for taking care of infants. having gotten practice with the nature of his gift.

It was quiet for a bit. "Are you sure? Child is a huge responsibility that can't be afforded by impulse or pity."

Damn, that's what she thought of? No, pity probably played the part big enough to be concidered a weighted thing. But even without how he wanted baby to have home, he still wanted to be a parent. "It's not just that." He assured, feeling the humid cloud between his fingertips. "I wanted to be a parent probably as long as I could realize myself."

Even as a child, Camilo had often played pretend and imagining his future family. Then he got into babysitting. Which was hard at first, but with enough practice it became his second nature. Teaching him the bases of what he would have to do if he gets the family of his own.

"I know you love children. But you're only nineteen. Think about it for a bit more"

"I thought about it. I promise."

He knew how hard children were on his own skin. It wasn't a magical fairy tale, no. It was a job, and a very hard one. Raising a child, ensuring they are safe, fed and happy every day of the week. But with all that, it was worthy of all the effort. He loved taking care of the village children

Pepa knew she had no chance to get Camilo out of it once his mind was set on the task. And she did support his wish to get his own family even if it was way earlier than what she had expected. Part of her had realized that he son was a family guy way before had even reached an adulthood. She had to expect a family of his own that would begin earlier than most. And it was obviously he was ready, as painful to admit as it was. He grew up as kind soul. 

But it didn't mean the idea was easy. Yes, Pepa was very proud of her son for being willing to take such a responsibility upon himself and give a family to somebody without it.

The boy chuckled, leaning down as Pepa reached to ruffle his hair. 

Camilo stood over a cradle bed, wood thick and carefully cut. 

"Is this okay?" Luisa looked down at him, pushing the bed sligtly, letting it swing from side to side.

"Yep, thanks again, prima!" Camilo grinned. Soon after his mother knew the rest of the family was informed about how they would get a new member soon as well. Luisa with her construction knowledge helped to make furniture. No, of course, there was something left back from when Camilo himself was an infant. But he didn't want for Teresa to be forced into using leftovers older than her parents. "Also, sorry for getting it the way of marriage and all."

Luisa and her girlfriend got enganged sometime before Camilo set on adoption. Around July in a very awkward fashion. When Luisa managed to knock off the candles and nearly burned the priced embellished tablecloth. But still fully ready to bride-carry Raula here and now. But the older cousin pulled the plans a bit further away until the entire thing was solved. Maybe she didn't want to share attention. But the wedding would come at least a few weeks late compared to what was planned in the beginning after the adoption process was done.

Luisa hit his shoulder, shrugging it off. "Hey, at least it gives me more time to prepare, right? I have written like twelve speeches and they all shit"

Getting the papers done took way longer than what Camilo was comfortable with. He didn't really expect a long process like this.  But no, he just had to wait for until it was all written, establishing him as adoptice parent. His heart pinced, as he took Teresa. Finally over the entire time of preparing. As Abuela said, he was now an official parent. The days of looking over her in the orphanage were over. (Of course, he still would come to help with other kids too, but Teresa wasn't here anymore.)

[djeterg19]

Chapter 22 a mix of the case and some other very interesting things

The next day the team heads back out to the forest for their investigation. The Captain and Singh blended with the reporters. Khem, Chart, Yai, and Phaya secretly infiltrated the mine area. Chart leads the way since he's familiar with the territory. They find an abandoned building that they think belongs to the mining operation. They sweep the building but there's no one there. There are large oil barrels they start moving. Phaya and Yai check the upstairs and find the kidnapped children. They evacuate the children and call an ambulance.

Chart finds a weird lump of branches and asks for help moving them. There's a blue tarp that emits a rotten smell. Chart wants to look but Phaya says they need to wait for CSI. Yai says they will be there any moment. They don't know why they would murder someone and leave the body right there. Chart recognizes him as Mr. Morti's secretary.

Tharn stayed home as ordered and means to ask Chalotorn what he was arguing with Phaya about. Tharn asks where Chalotorn is but his mom wants him to eat first. He's not hungry and wants to go meet the doctor. She acts suspicious and asks how she knows the doctor. Tharn remembers the first time they met. He was in the monks cell crying and Chalotorn tries to convince him to come back to Chiang Mai with them. The mom explained Chalotorn is the son of an acquaintance. Tharn asks if she left anything out but she doesn't answer. He says he'll just ask the doctor. The grandmother says it's time to explain. The mom says he's come to reclaim a past commitment. She tells him to go talk to the doctor. Tharn says he will but when they are done he wants her to explain why she separated from his father.

Tharn finds Chalotorn by the lotus pond. He says that shaman meddled in things that are not his. Tharn is suddenly very cold and can't breathe. He's about to pass out when the doctor grabs him. Chalotorn says in the old days Tharn wouldn't be so weak but he's not the same. Tharn says you aren't human are you? The doctor says he's not. He's here to follow Tharn back. Back to where Tharn asks. Back to stay with him by the commitment that Tharn gave in a past life but the family refused. They were willing to do everything for Tharn. Tharn is shocked that Chalotorn is responsible for everything that happened with his parents. He's extremely angry. He clenches both fists so hard they shake and asks why he did this? Just to take him back with him?

Chalotorn says they did it to repay Tharn for karma in a previous life. He cannot interfere with others karma only those interwoven in his karma. Tharn asks if Phaya is involved too and the doctor coldly says yes him and three others. Tharn flashes to the doctor who gave him stitches. Chalotorn says because of them he wants to take Tharn back with him because Tharn is too good for this world. Tharn says he has no right to decide that for him. This angers Chalotorn and everything gets very cold. Tharn softens his tone and says he's sorry that he can't honor the commitment he made but could he let go of the past and stay in the present instead?

Chalotorn says it's easy for Tharn who doesn't remember the past to say that. But Chalotorn was released from confinement thinking Tharn would be living a blissful life because of his beautiful soul but he's not because he has to protect and die for Phaya. That he's watched Tharn die over and over again and he can't stand it anymore. That's why he wants to bring him back. That he won't allow it to repeat again. And then he transforms into his Naga form. Tharn realizes this is the creature Phaya saw in the river. The doctor confirms it was him and that if Tharn hadn't interfered they would already be together.

Tharn doesn't completely understand but can't stop crying. He feels overwhelming sorrow and can hardly breathe. Chalotorn transforms into his golden form and asks if Tharn remembers a necklace from their former life. Tharn tries to get away because it makes him feel terror. Chalotorn says Tharn can only return with him three more times. Tharn realizes he's trying to transform him back into a Naga. Tharn tries to escape but he can't move. Suddenly there's a gust of wind and a Garuda appears and knocks him off his feet. It's Dr. Ticharuj. He tells Tharn to go back to the house. That his mother can save him. Tharn watches as they fight until Ticharuj yells at him to go.

He runs but thinks he's dreaming because he sees Darawan until he realizes she came with Ticharuj. His mom hugs him apologizing because she didn't think Chalotorn would hurt him. He tells her to not be so hard on herself. He asks Darawan why they are here. Phaya sent a photo of the mark from Tharn's back. As soon as Ticharuj saw it they left immediately. Darawan has other news as well.

The case has hit a dead end. The full autopsy hasn't been done yet but the secretary was strangled. Motri insists he's innocent. Chart is disbelieving. They do explore the possibility that the secretary was murdered to make Motri more suspicious. The Captain assigns each person a suspect to look into. Yai asks Thongthai to look into the gunman with tattoos that was in the tent who killed Tharn's dad. Thongthai asks for all the info and then wants to know why he should find this man. He explains and asks Thongthai to keep it hush hush.

Chart is angry again. Khem asked what's up and Chart says he just wants the case to end quickly. Khem asks what happened to his arm which looks scratched. Chart says it was a tree scrape. The Captain isn't sure about Chart. Singh mentions that Chart does meet the criteria for a behavioral issue. The Captain thinks he may have killed the secretary to frame Motri.

[angelamajiki]

PARINGS: Pro Hero! Dabi x Sister! Reader

TW: yandere, incest, no con, voyeurism, choking, burning, unprotected/no prep sex, breeding/creampies, snowballing, public sex, degradation, lots of dirty talk

AN: WHEEWW my first fic in a while, so excited for my first join intro collab!! thank you to the lovely jo for writing it <33 enjoy

A BNHarem Server Collab! Check out the other works here.

Breaking news: We have yet another report to add to the slew of attacks this month, this comes just days after we broadcast rumours of villains running rampant over the city. This spate of attacks has put the entire metropolitan area at a standstill, road closures and damaged property making it difficult for commuters to get to work in the morning. Road maintenance endeavour to do its best to keep the city running, but it seems futile when these attacks continue to increase. The entire city was brought to a standstill by the mysterious villain who has still not been named, but reports show they are nothing like we have ever experienced before.

Where are the heroes now? Who will save us from the terror overwhelming our city?

Every day the crime toll continues to rise and we have no one here to protect us. The Hero Public Safety Commission assured us earlier in the week that the crime rate would go down, that the top Heroes are out there protecting our city, but if so, where are they? Is it really safe to go out anymore, who can we trust? Would you put your life in the hands of a Hero today? When they have proved our streets are no longer safe. We still have no information on what is going on, or who is involved but we must remain observant. We will continue to report the latest news as we receive it, but for now, we must implore you to heed the warnings of the city-wide curfew that is soon to be implemented. If anyone has any information on these occurrences in the city please send them to us or contact the police, you can remain anonymous. The safety of our citizens is what is most important, stay vigilant and don’t go out unless it is absolutely necessary.

Christ, what a load of bullshit the news was nowadays. Constantly whining and squealing about what heroes did and didn’t do, promoting fear-mongering like it was the hottest trend. Between your father and two older brothers dedicating their life to the cause of justice, the world always felt just a little safer to you, the naive little thing that you were. And tonight was no exception.

Despite the rapidly increasing crime rates, your judgment to grab a couple of drinks in the city with your friends was hardly swayed. The stress of it all was getting to you and you’d love nothing more to drink your heart out at one of the few spots still left open. It was a sleazy place, but it was fun. If anything, you found a bar in the area where your eldest brother was currently stationed patrolling.

Touya had always been protective of you ever since the two of you were children, and he carried that same possessiveness well into your adulthood. Always chasing off any potential suitors, keeping you out of trouble, and generally being a menace to anyone who thought they were good enough to be around his favorite little sister.

By the end of the night, stumbling around drunkenly was the only thing keeping you upright as you made your way out of the club and onto the street, looking for a taxi to get you home. Sirens wailed faintly in the distance, a mess of blue and red lighting up the darkened streets.

“Hey sweetheart. Need a hand?”

Grubby hands met your arms the same time the cool air of the night did, tugging and pulling at you to come closer, wherever that may be. Jaunts and laughter echoed off the buildings, only adding to the haziness the alcohol induced. “What’s a pretty little thing like yourself doing out here all on your lonesome?”

Weak attempts to push the group of assaulters off you were in vain as they groped and squeezed your body at their pleasure. “Come on, we’re just trying to keep ya company. Right, boys?”

“Stop..”

Your whine came across much more pathetic than you could have ever hoped, only earning more chuckles from the men. “Just relax, sweetheart. We’ll take good care of you.”

Blue flames danced around the group of you, closing the lot of you against the building wall in a small circle of fire.

“Will you now? Last I checked, I'm the only man suited for that.” Touya was less than amused to have found out from Fuyumi that you traveled into the city given its state, even more so when he saw how drunk and disorderly you were being.

“T-Touya-nii!”

The men untangled themselves from you with ease, tossing you into the arms of your expectant brother, who was more than glad to pull you into a tight embrace. “Shit! It's the number three, Heatstroke!”

The comforting warmth of his body and scent of his cologne settled your frantic nerves, tucking yourself closer into his arms. “Honestly, it’s like you're asking for it at this point.”

Your heart sank low in your chest, but you couldn't find the strength to move away from him as he scowled down at you.

“Look at what you're wearing, you little tease. Bet you would have loved to have them violate you, huh slut?”

Never has Touya been so venomous with you before; it made your heart hurt, even more, to see your beloved nii-san be so cruel.

“Don’t you worry, that’s why your big brother is here to show you who you really belong to.”

Shoved against the wall, he pinned your trembling form with his right knee in between your legs and his hands wandering over your skimpy dress.

“You boys can stick around to watch; let a real man show you how it's done.”

Flames singed at your dress, burning it to ashes to expose you in the cool wind of the night. Hot fingers pressed into your skin, littering marks in their wake before they wrapped around your throat. “You were just begging for nii-san to come to save your slutty ass, huh, princess? I know you checked my patrol schedule before ending up at this dive.”

His hand tightened around your neck, his lips at your ear. “Wanted nii-san to come put you in your place, yeah? After fuckin’ teasing me all these years, you finally cracked me. Are you proud of yourself, little girl?”

A whine slipped from your constricted throat, your smaller hand gripping at the large one squeezing you with everything it had. “And now you've got an audience to witness my ownership over you. You're mine, little girl.”

Finally releasing your throat, his hands traveled down to your chest and groped at your roughly, pinching and pulling at your soft, sensitive nipples. Bile was rising in your throat as you drowned in your own fear, feeling him drag you into the depths of depravity.

“What’s the matter, imouto? I thought you said I was your favorite. You're hurting my feelings, y’know.”

“Touya, please-”

A scoff slapped you hard in the face as his knee jerked up against your cunt. “Don’t start with me. I know who you really are and what you really want, even better than yourself.”

His words stabbed at your heart, and his wandering hands only seemed to pour salt over the wounds. “You’re nothing more than my whore, little sister.”

Hips ground against your backside in a slow, teasing manner, groans pushing past his lips as he did so. “You have no one to blame but yourself.”

His erection was pressed flush against you, straining in his pants before he unzipped himself. At this point, you were more than sobered up running on fear and adrenaline alone. Your panties were ripped clean off with his free hand while the other stroked his hardening cock. “Look at me.”

The tip was aligned with your hole, rubbing slightly to gather the minimal wetness between your lips. “I said look at me.”

Teary eyes peaked up at him through wet lashes, silently pleading with a man who was not known for mercy.

“Good fuckin’ girl, so obedient for your big brother.”

With one snap of his hips, Touya fully sheathed himself inside of your tight cunt, groaning at the way you squealed for him. “Aw, you like that, huh, princess. Feeling good?”

A warbled moan was the only response you could give him as he slowly began to pull out. The alcohol had you buzzing enough to block out the pain of the stretch, and damn did you feel filled to the brim.

“Can’t wait to breed this greedy little cunt of yours.”

His pace was slow, agonizingly so. Touya couldn't help but savor every second of the first time having been inside you, especially after dreaming about it for so long. God, if it didn't turn him on to have an audience, knowing that these men knew he was fucking his sister.

What would the media think? God, the news cycle would be ripped to shreds tomorrow over this breaking story. But hey, no PR is bad PR.

The thought of finally having staked his claim in you almost had him coming prematurely, but he had to hold out for your very first time together, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

Heh, your crying face was so cute. Those tears weren't shy by any means and neither were your sobs. It's alright, you’ll learn to love being Touya’s cocksleeve.

“Say you love me.”

An impossible request when you're being violated by the person you held dearest to your heart.

His pace had picked up brutally, slamming into you without care for his flames spreading wildly nor the group of assaulters who seemed to vanish once they had the opening to.

“I-I love you, nii-san! I love you!”

Your cries were shrill and whiny, echoing into the chaotic night. The grip on your hips was heating up, so much so that his handprints were burned into your love handles.

“Good girl, good little slut.”

His breathing was erratic, hot against your neck as he growled and grunted into your ear. “Gonna let nii-san breed this pretty little pussy? Yes, you are. I know you are because you're fuckin’ mine, bitch.”

Moaning out your name, Touya came deep inside your womb, thick ropes of his cum painting your insides. You were soon to follow thanks to his thumb against your clit, causing you to writhe and whine in his arms.

Utterly spent, you rested against the brick wall you were pinned to, feeling the cum drip out of your still filled hole.

“Let’s get you home and into my bed, princess. I gotta go have a chat with Dad and Shouto, let ‘em know you’re fully off limits now.”

— tagging: @libiraki @bonesoftheimpala @tomurasprincess @sightoru

[saturnsstufff]

Epolouge: The Empress

Warnings: slight NSFW

"Thena, sweetie, you can't play with that-" Techno warned to his child, moving the wrapped sword away from her tiny hands.

"But Daddy- you said you'd teach me!"

As Athena got older it was obvious she shown sides of taking after her father. Her curiosity in weaponry, speech, and body language told you that much. But, to be honest, you didn't mind.

You would admit, after being away from the toxicity of the empire, and the people it entailed, life was much simpler, and way more humble. It was homey, something far more than the large palace was. Instead of large marble floors, tall lengthy walls, and perfect matching fabrics, the cozy cottage home Techno and you built was made of warm, strong logs, wooden floors that gave off a warm glow, mismatched blankets and curtains that hung with care, showing they were frequently opened and closed. It was perfect for your small family. You adored it.

After the fall of your kingdom and the near escape you all had, life was hard to adjust to. Techno was distant, scared he would lash out at you again like he did in the library. You wanted to tell him it was ok, that it was a terrible misunderstanding between the communication, and the people holding the letters. Yet, the way he grabbed you still had you hesitant. You could still remember the first few months within the tundra.

Your eyes watched the brute cut more logs. The way he moved the axe, you wouldn't have expected him to be a once prestigious emperor. Instead he looked like a boy far past his years- someone overly exhausted.

The baby in your arms was easily fast asleep. Warm and cozy from the near fireplace, and if that wasn't enough, her mothers arms and chest opted as a warm cushioned resting place.

The past month was hard, both mentally and physically. Between the tension techno and you had, and the fear of Athena getting too cold from no true shelter, you both were at your wit's end. Thankfully Techno and Phil worked to built a small shelter. Something you could rest Thena in, well the three of you worked to build a more suitable home for a family.

The rocking chair you were seated in offered a soothing place to think back on it, of course your thought's were disrupted when Tech walked back inside the home. Logs over his shoulder for the fire, not wanting it to die out and bring the tundra chill into the home.

"Did she fall asleep finally?..." he asked softly, setting the logs down. Although he walked over to the two of you, he didn't rub his finger on her cheek like he normally would, he probably had sap on his hands from the wood. Something that was now normal.

Your smile came easy to his tone "yeah, she zoned out pretty quickly after she ate. You were right about rice cereal, she's not as hungry anymore" your eyes went up to meet with his. His smile was just as gentle as yours. "Where did you even hear about it?"

"I was curious if it would... I was trading in the village and I herd it from a elderly woman" he explained, moving to the sink to wash his hands off.

Your curiosity perked at this.

"You did?"

He hummed and wondered back, sitting on the couch, still respecting the space you wished. Just because you two were married didn't mean it was all sunshine and rainbows. Things were still healing, you still got weary around his touch after the library incident, and he was still blaming himself for the years you were alone. He didn't feel like you could forgive him so easily- he knew you shouldn't.

"Mhm. She saw me looking at a small plush and rattle. She asked if I had any children or if they were for a friend... I explained I had a fussy infant... she kind of laughed and told me a few ways to avoid it..." his cheeks went pink as he glanced away.

It was easy to believe Sarah tampered with the letters, the tech in the letters was cold and distant about children. Where the one you laid with every night cooed, and played with his daughter, eager to show her the world. One thing he did for her almost made you break down in tears.

Due to fleeing for your lives, Athena no longer had toys, blankets, or anything she needed. She even lost her plush, the one she slept with every night. When she was particularly fussy one night, you explained to techno why. Of course he was saddened too, he didn't wanna hear his little girl cry, no parent did. So the next day he found some scrap fabric and sewed together a small Pig for her. You would always remember how eagerly she pulled it into her arms.

In the end. It was easy to see Technoblade was a family man.

When night time rolled around, you were thinking back on all the nights techno held you close. After his return you both slept with a bit of distance between you. The first night you both were tightly within each other's arms, too scared to loose each other again. But after that something about laying tightly like everything was ok didn't feel right. So the two of you kept a bit of distance, easily a hands reach away if needed.

Tonight however, you wanted tech to hold you. You wanted old times back, the endless giggles, the warm arms, slight smirks, his nose in your neck content with life. You missed it so much.

So when Techno crawled into bed, you fallowed in suit, but instead of crossing over him for your place by the wall, you sat atop straddling his waist. The action alone was enough to make him pink, and curious. His hands didn't rest on your hips, rather you guided them to rest there yourself, showing it was ok for him to touch you.

You could feel how hesitant he was. He didn't want to scare you, drive you away farther than you already were.

"Princess... what are you doing?" He asked softly, admiring your form above him, dearly missing the sight deep down.

"Tech I miss you... I miss you holding me, making love to me, whispering how much you love me... I miss how close we were..." you said slightly pained.

He drew a slight breath, the air coming out shaky. "Darlin'- Princess... look... I miss it too... But I hurt you... I accused you of sleeping with Orion, i also assumed you hated me... It made me draw my sword to you... it made me Grab you-" he was cut off by you.

"And I forgive you... it's in the past... we can move forward... I mean... I'm assuming you wouldn't do it again..." you said slowly, watching him discard your hips for your hands.

"Ill never raise a hand, or blade to you again... never again... God's I love you too much to even think of hurting you like I could have... Your all I have..." he said softly, tearing up slowly. Thinking back on it, he hated how he acted, he was hurt and took it out in rage, he took it out on the one person who endlessly loved him.

After talking out how you two truly felt, you tried to make love again, the action felt odd, yet long awaited, Both of you desperate to feel one another after so long without each other, but sadly when Tech moved you under him, you watched his eyes well with tears before he fully broke down in tears.

Their may have not been physical intimacy shared, yet the wounds of words, and actions began to slowly heal, and it all started with techno burring his face into your chest, his sobs drowned out by the wild wind outside the cabin.

Your thoughts were shaken from your mind as you watched your daughter try to charm tech into teaching her sword play.

"You promised!" She said, hoping it would budge the stubborn Brute.

"Yeah, well I promised your mother a new ring too and all she got was another one of you-" he said scooping Thena up into his arms, holding her upside down to get her to laugh.

"Yeah well she can take Ares back! I don't want a brother!" Thena said, sounding like she meant it. "He’s annoying and he always cries at night" she explained, finding her reasoning good enough.

"It sounds like you when you were his size" you said with a smile, stepping up beside your husband, almost eye level with your child. "Ares is young, he'll grow up and get quite darling. Crying is his only way of communicating he needs something" you explained, moving your head so you were somewhat looking her in the eyes.

When tech started to tickle her, it brought smiles to you both. Over the years her giggle, and laugh had become your shared favorite sound. Athena was so innocent and pure, she was the only hope that had survived the darkness of the empire. Luckily out of that darkness came a stronger relationship between you and Tech, even if it took time to develop again.

Without the empire down his throat, he had become much more relaxed. Even his voices seemed to dull down quite a bit. Not only that, but with his son born he felt more at home than he ever had.

This was, and always will be better than what you suffered. This was the life you and Technoblade deserved, after every tooth and nail fought for normality, this was rewarding. This was home.

[toscrollperchancetomeme]

Lestat de Lioncourt - A playlist

So, guess who made a Lestat Playlist (like there aren't enough already) and decided to sit down for 4-6 hours to find some excerpt corresponding with each song? Featuring 80s and 90s music (clearly showing my age...) as well as many european songs and showtunes. Enjoy!

1. Cathedrals – Ramin Karimloo (Original by Jump, Little Children)

In the cathedrals of New York and Rome There is a feeling that you should just go home And spend the lifetime finding out just where that is

And that was not a good year for me. I was wandering aimlessly. I was sick of things. I was furious with myself that the „beauty“ of life wasn't sustaining me, wasn't making my loneliness bearable.

I wanted to join them. Always do want to join them and never do. „Go home,“ he whispered. - Prince Lestat

(I actually feel like there are quotes that would correspond to this song in every one of the books and indeed have not yet found any other song that captures the general spirit of The Vampire Chronicles as perfectly.)

2. Edge of Seventeen – Stevie Nicks

Well, I went today Maybe I will go again tomorrow Yeah yeah, well, the music there Well, it was hauntingly familiar Well, I see you doing what I try to do for me With the words from a poet and a voice from a choir And a melody, and nothing else mattered

He sat next to me, hugging me and asking me why I was crying, and though I couldn't tell him, I could see that he was overwhelmed that his music had produced this effect. There was no sarcasm or bitterness in him now. I think he carried me home that night. And the next morning I was standing in the crooked stone street in front of his father's shop, tossing pebbles up at his window. When he stuck his head out, I said: „Do you want to come down and go on with our conversation?“ - The Vampire Lestat

3. I ain't scared of lightning – Tom McRae

No I ain't scared of lightning And thunder never killed I was born in a summer storm and I live there still

I wasn't part of the world that cringed at such things. And with a smile, I realized that I was of that dark ilk that makes others cringe. Slowly and with great pleasure, I laughed.

And the labor that brought it forth was rapture such as I have never known. - The Vampire Lestat

4. Junge Roemer – Falco (Young Romans – Full Translation)

Don't ask for new old values See white light, see only feeling The night is ours till morning We play every game Don't ever let this journey end The doing comes only from the being Only from dimensions, that Are worth illusions and sensations Give me more, give me more, give me more...

... and again she laughed. „Ah, but we are splendid devils, aren't we?“ „Hunters of the Savage Garden,“ I said. „Then let's go into Paris,“ she said. - The Vampire Lestat

5. Running up that hill – Candy Says (Original by Kate Bush

If I only could, I'd make a deal with God, And I'd get him to swap our places, Be running up that road, Be running up that hill, Be running up that building,

„Not even with Nicolas?“ „No, god, no!“ I looked at her. She nodded slightly as if she approved of this answer. „Why not with Nicolas?“ she asked. I wanted this to stop. „Because he's young,“ I said, „and he has life before him.“ - The Vampire Lestat

6. Florence – Notre Dame de Paris (Full Translation)

The little things always triumph over the large And literature will kill architecture The school books will kill the cathedrals The Bible will kill the Church, and man will kill God This will kill that

„I never lived in it. I push against the glass. But how do I get in?“ „I can't tell you that,“ I said. „You have to study this age,“ Gabrielle interrupted. Her voice was calm but commanding. He looked towards her as she spoke. „You have to understand the age,“ she continued, „through its literature and its music and its art. You have come up out of the earth, as you yourself put it. Now live in the world.“ No answer from him. Flash of Nicki's ravaged flat with all its books on the floor. Western civilization in heaps. - The Vampire Lestat

7. Go your own way – Fleetwood Mac

Loving you isn't the right thing to do How can I ever change things that I feel

If I could maybe I'd give you my world How can I when you won't take it from me

You can go your own way You can call it another lonely day

„Keep your promise,“ she said. And quite suddenly I knew this was our last moment. I knew it and I could do nothing to change it. „Gabrielle!“ I whispered. But she was already gone. - The Vampire Lestat

8. Désenchantée – Olympe (Original by Myléne Farmer - Full Translation)

If death is a mystery Life isn't exactly tender If heaven has a hell Then heaven can still wait for me Tell me how to handle this headwind Nothing makes sense anymore, nothing's fine

Laughter. That insane music. That din, that dissonance, that never ending shrill articulation of the meaninglessness... Am I awake? Am I asleep? I am sure of one thing. I am a monster. And because I lie in torment in the earth, certain human beings move on through the narrow pass of life unmolested. - The Vampire Lestat

9. A kind of magic – Queen

The bell that rings inside your mind Is challenging the doors of time It's a kind of magic The waiting seems eternity The day will dawn of sanity

And quite completely I understood that it was looking for me, this sound, it was seeking me out.

Blood like light itself, liquid fire.

It seemed beneath the roar of the flow he spoke. He said again: „Drink, my young one, my wounded one.“ I felt his heart swell, his body undulate, and we were sealed against each other. I think I heard myself say: „Marius.“ And he answered: „Yes.“ - The Vampire Lestat

10. La quête – Bruno Pelletier (French version of „The Impossible Dream“ from Man of La Mancha)

To try when your arms are too weary To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest To follow that star Ooh, no matter how hopeless No matter how far

I would remain in New Orleans if New Orleans could only manage to remain. Whatever I suffered should be lessened in this lawless place, whatever I craved should give me more pleasure once I had it in my grasp. And there were moments on that first night in this fetid little paradise when I prayed that in spite of all my secret power, I was somehow kin to every mortal man. - The Vampire Lestat

11. Wicked Game – Chris Isaak

What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you

Yet Louis gained a hold over me far more powerful than Nicolas had ever had. Even in his cruelest moments, Louis touched the tenderness in me, seducing me with his staggering dependence, his infatuation with my every gesture and every spoken word. - The Vampire Lestat

12. Do I disappoint you – Rufus Wainwright

Do I disappoint you, in just being human? And not one of the elements that you can light your cigar on Why does it always have to be fire? Why does it always have to be brimstone?

„And suppose the vampire who made you knew nothing, and the vampire before him knew nothing, and so it goes back and back, nothing proceeding from nothing, until there is nothing! And we must live with the knowledge that there is no knowledge!“ „Yes!“ he cried out suddenly, his hands out, his voice tinged with something other than anger.

And then I sensed it. He was afraid. Lestat afraid. - Interview with the Vampire

13. Ordinary World – Duran Duran

What has happened to it all? Crazy, some'd say Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away

But I won't cry for yesterday There's an ordinary world Somehow I have to find And as I try to make my way To the ordinary world I will learn to survive

I do not remember when it became the twentieth century, only that everything was uglier and darker, and the beauty I'd known in the old eighteenth-century days seemed more than ever some kind of fanciful idea. - The Vampire Lestat

14. I'm still standing – Taron Egerton (Original by Elton John)

And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use And did you think this fool could never win? Well look at me, I'm coming back again

But after the third night up, I was roaring around New Orleans on a big black Harley-Davidson motorcycle making plenty of noise myself. […] I was the vampire Lestat again. I was back in action. New Orleans was once again my hunting ground. - The Vampire Lestat

15. Catch my fall – Billy Idol

I have the time so I will sing, yeah I'm just a boy but I will win, yeah Lost song of lovers, fellow travelers, yeah Leave me sad and hollow out of words

It could happen to you so think for yourself If I should stumble, catch my fall, yeah

I've survived, obviously. I wouldn't be talking to you if I hadn't. And the cosmic dust has finally settled; and the small rift in the world's fabric of rational beliefs has been mended, or at least closed. I'm a little sadder for all of it, and a little meaner and a little more conscientious as well. - The Queen of the Damned

16. I want it all – Queen

I'm a man with a one track mind So much to do in one lifetime (people do you hear me) Not a man for compromise and where's and why's and living lies So I'm living it all, yes I'm living it all And I'm giving it all, and I'm giving it all

It is not enough any longer that my little rock band be successful. We must create a fame that will carry my name and my voice to the remotest parts of the world. - The Vampire Lestat

17. Let me entertain you – Robbie Williams

Hell is gone and heaven's here There's nothing left for you to fear Shake your arse come over here Now scream

I'm a burning effigy Of everything I used to be You're my rock of empathy, my dear

So come on let me entertain you

"I AM THE VAMPIRE LESTAT!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as I stepped way back from the microphone, and the sound was almost visible as it arched over the length of the oval theater, and the voice of the crowd rose even higher, louder, as if to devour the ringing sound. - The Vampire Lestat

18. La bien qui fait mal – Mozart l'Opera Rock (Full translation)

I can feel a violent urge I feel like I'm sliding towards the ground If I don't find out where this plague is coming from I adore having it under my skin Bewitched by mad ideas Suddenly all my cravings take off The desire becomes my prison Until I loose my mind

Yet I was in her arms in this chilling darkness, in the familiar scent of winter, and her blood was mine again, and it was enslaving me. When she drew away, I felt agony. - The Queen of the Damned

19. Tainted Love – Soft Cell

And you think love is to pray But I'm sorry I don't pray that way Once I ran to you Now I'll run from you This tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you Take my tears and that's not living, oh

„What do you think I am that I am so easily swayed? I was born a Queen. I have always ruled; even from the shrine I ruled." Her eyes were glazed suddenly. I heard the voices, a dull hum rising. "I ruled if only in legend; if only in the minds of those who came to me and paid me tribute. Princes who played music for me; who brought me offerings and prayers. What do you want of me now? That for you, I renounce my throne, my destiny!" What answer could I make? - The Queen of the Damned

20. Dancing in the Dark – Ruth Moody (Original by Bruce Springsteen)

They say you gotta stay hungry Hey baby, I'm just about starvin' tonight I'm dyin' for some action I'm sick of sittin' 'round here tryin' to write this book I need a love reaction Come on now, baby, gimme just one look

"I want you to put the book aside and come join us," he said. "You've been locked in here for over a month." "I go out now and then," I said. I liked looking at him, at the neon blue of his eyes.

"Do you love me now?" I asked. He smiled; oh, it was excruciating to see his face soften and brighten simultaneously when he smiled. "Yes," he said. "Want to go on a little adventure?" My heart was thudding suddenly. It would be so grand if- "Want to break the new rules?" "What in the world do you mean?" he whispered. - The Queen of the Damned

21. I want you – Savage Garden

Oh, I want you, I don't know if I need you But oh, I would die to find out

"You don't think you'll be back?" he asked. "I think you will, whether I call or not." Another little surprise. A little stab of humiliation. I smiled at him in spite of myself. He was a very interesting man. "You silver-tongued British bastard," I said. "How dare you say that to me with such condescension? Maybe I should kill you right now."

I thought of David Talbot's face, and that moment when he'd challenged me. Well, maybe he was right. I'd be back. Who said I couldn't come back and talk to him if I wanted to? - The Queen of the Damned

22. Lay your hands on me – Bon Jovi

I'm a fighter, I'm a poet, I'm a preacher I've been to school, oh baby, I've been the teacher If you show me how to get up off the ground I can show you how to fly and never ever come back down

I sat down on the bed beside him. And then I bent down and kissed his face again gently, as I had in New Orleans, liking the feel of his roughly shaven beard, just as I liked that sort of thing when I was really Lestat and I would soon have that strong masculine blood inside. I moved closer to him, when suddenly he grasped my hand, and I felt him gently push me away. „Why, David?“ I asked him. He didn't answer. He lifted his right hand and brushed my hair back out of my eyes. „I don't know,“ he whispered. „I can't. I simply can't.“ - The Tale of the Body Thief

23. 20th Century Boy – Placebo (Original by T-Rex)

I move like a cat, charge like a ram Sting like a bee, babe, I wanna be your man, hey!

He drew back with a speed that astonished me, cleaving to the wall. „Don't do this, Lestat.“ „Don't fight me, old friend. You waste your effort. You have a long night of discovery ahead.“ - The Tale of the Body Thief

24. Way down we go – KALEO

Oh, Father tell me, do we get what we deserve? Whoa, we get what we deserve And way down we go

„In chains, to my friend and my scribe, I dictated these words. Come with me. Just listen to me. Don't leave me alone.“ - Memnoch the Devil

25. Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode

Reach out, touch faith

"Don't tell me," Gabrielle said slurringly, "that it's a matter of faith." She sneered and shook her head. "You come like doubting Thomas to thrust your bloody fangs in the very wound." "Oh, stop, please, I beg you," I whispered. I put up my hands. "Let me try, and let him hurt me, and then be satisfied, and turn away." - The Vampire Armand

26. Papillon – Editors

Darling Just don't put down your guns yet If there really was a God here He'd have raised a hand by now Now darling You're born, get old, then die here Well that's quite enough for me We'll find our own way home somehow

"And if I spill my blood down into this coffin now," Lestat asked her, "what do you think will come back? Do you think it will be our Louis that will rise in these burnt rags? What if it's not, chérie, what if it's some wounded revenant that we must destroy?" "Choose life, Lestat," she said. - Merrick

27. Sunday Light – Choir Boy

Why, why, why, are you silent on the ride home? I'd love to see the temple with you Heavenly and bright, golden angel twisted scathing You were one of us, one of us, one of us, you were one of us

"Then come, Little Brother, take me to where you want to talk," he said, and I felt the soft squeeze of his fingers on my arm. "Why are you so kind to me?" I asked him. "You're used to people being paid to do it, aren't you?" he asked. - Blackwood Farm

28. Für mich solls rote Rosen regnen – Hildegard Knef (It should rain red roses for me - Full translation)

It should rain red roses for me All wonders should encounter me The world should rearrange itself And keep its worries to itself

I want to be a saint. I want to save souls by the millions. I want to do good far and wide. I want to fight evil! I want my life-sized statue in every church. I'm talking six feet tall, blond hair, blue eyes- Wait a second. Do you know who I am? - Blood Canticle

29. Constant Craving – K. D. Lang

Even through the darkest phase Be it thick or thin Always someone marches brave Here beneath my skin And constant craving Has always been

I was hunting, thirsting though I didn't need to drink, at the mercy of the craving, the deep agonizing lust for heated pumping human blood. - Prince Lestat

30. Kalte Sterne – Jan Ammann (Cold Stars from the musical Ludwig² - Full translation)

Get up, ride home, on your horse, through your land Across the morning with your reins trailing behind you Build a castle like a dream, build it with mighty hands And it shall be named „future“

Build a castle like a dream Up from the ashes and close to the heavens Build a castle like a dream And realise the future as king

If we wanted to survive, if we wanted to inherit the millenia […] then we had to meet the future with respect as well as courage and count fear and selfishness to be small things. - Prince Lestat and the realms of Atlantis

31. C'est une belle journée – Mylene Farmer (Full translation)

I'm going to bed To bite eternity With my mouth wide open It's a beautiful day

And I felt the cold numbing shell of alienation and despair which had imprisoned me all of my life among the Undead – I felt that shell cracked, broken, and dissolved utterly into infinitesimal fragments. - Blood Communion

32. Princes of the Universe – Queen

Fly the moon and reach for the stars With my sword and head held high Got to pass the test first time, yeah I know that people talk about me, I hear it every day But I can prove them wrong 'cause I'm right first time

„I know that you meant full well to bring Rhoshamandes down, of course you did. But you had no way of knowing that you could. And no one would have predicted that you could. And with the willingness to die, you gave yourself over into his hands... and you disarmed him and destroyed him.“ – Blood Communion

And finally, because I can, a bonus track:

33. Primadonna – MARINA

And I'm sad to the core, core, core Every day is a chore, chore, chore When you give, I want more, more, more I wanna be adored

[breanime]

Bre's Boys as dads.... How do they rectify it when they realise they've been letting work come first too much lately. Obv they wouldn't allow that overall but sometimes things get busy and your schedule can change without you noticing.

Billy Russo: Billy was used to waking up early and hearing the excited footsteps of his son running to greet him, but this morning it was different. Your son walked into the living room where Billy was on his computer, saw his father, and didn’t say anything. He just grabbed his stuffed turtle from the toy bin and walked off. “Did you see that?” Billy asked you, trying to keep the disappointment and confusion out of his voice. You sighed, shrugging. “He’s a little upset with you.” Billy’s heart stopped. “He is? Why?” You looked away, and Billy could already feel the guilt seeping in. “He says you love Anvil more than you love him.” And that sentence broke Billy’s heart. He made sure to go and talk to your son, and after that day, he made every effort he could to be home at a reasonable time and spend time with his family. The last thing he wanted was for his kid to ever feel they were unloved or unwanted, and he vowed to never let his son feel that way again. 

Logan Delos: When Logan came back from working overseas for over a month, and your daughter cried when she saw him; he knew he’d been away for too long. Logan told the company that he wouldn’t do any more long distance meetings for a while, and he actually took some time away from the office and worked at home. He remembered what it was like to be a kid and barely know his own father, and he did NOT want his daughter to know a life like that. So he worked from home and made sure he had lunch with her every day and read to her every night, determined to make sure he was always a distinct part of her life. 

Jax Teller: The club was dealing with a lot of shit lately, so Jax was extremely busy. He came home one night, just in time for story time, and he was about to surprise you and your sons, but then he heard his baby boy’s soft voice ask “does Daddy not like me anymore?” “Of course he likes you. He loves you,” you answer just as Jax’s heart breaks. “But he doesn’t come home no more... Did I do something bad?” “No,” Abel answers from his bed, “Daddy just doesn’t like to be at home.” And that made Jax want to cry. The next morning, he surprised the boys (and you) with chocolate chip pancakes and spent the whole day with them. He knew he wouldn’t be able to do this all the time, but he promised himself to do it as much as he could, and to never let his family think they weren’t the absolute most important thing in his life--and he did. 

Coco Cruz: Coco is unbelievably pissed at himself when he misses your daughter’s preschool graduation. You try to make him feel better, telling him it wasn’t a big deal and there would be more events and programs in the future, but he felt like shit. All he had to remember that special day were the pictures, and when he came home and tried to hug your daughter, she crossed her arms and refused to hug him back, and wow... That shit hurt. Coco stayed up all night, staring at the ceiling in the dark, trying to think of how he could make things better. He was a Mayan, of course, but he was a father and a husband too, and he knew he had to do better in those parts of his life. So he made efforts to be present more, to make it to the events and programs and recitals, and when he couldn’t--if he was in Mexico or stuck at the clubhouse--he would call or Facetime, so his baby girl never had to go a day in her life without hearing her father’s voice. 

Angel Reyes: When Angel’s baby boy calls EZ “Papa” and cries when he sees Angel, that’s when it hits him. Angel had been busting his ass for the club lately, and so he would send EZ over to the house to check on you and the baby and make sure everything was good at home. But this was becoming so frequent, your son hardly recognized him anymore, and that broke Angel’s heart. EZ tried to make him feel better, saying that his nephew knew that Angel was his Dad, but Angel knew he had to be around more--it was simple as that. So he did. He also made it a point to refer to himself as “Daddy” or “Papi” when he spoke to his son, just to kind of drill it in. He had felt inferior to and replaced by EZ far too often in his life, and he’d be damned if his own son chose EZ over him. 

Miguel Galindo: Miguel worked from home, but that didn’t mean he was around much. He made sure to show his face a few times a day, but he didn’t spend as much time with his kids as he wanted to. He was in-between calls, walking towards the library to grab a file, when he heard voices. “Bam bam,” your daughter said, her little squeaky voice making Miguel smile, “how come Papa doesn’t play with us like Mama does?” Miguel’s smile dropped. Cristobal sighed. “He’s too busy,” he answered, “Papa works a lot.” “Oh,” your daughter’s voice sounded sad, “does he like us?” Cristobal paused, and that pause said so much to Miguel. “I think so,” his son answered. That was it. Miguel took the family on a vacation and made sure to play with the kids as much as he could. Miguel remembered being a child and not really having a relationship with his father, and he hated the idea of being like Jose in that regard, so every day, Miguel made sure to spend actual, quality time with his children as much as he could. 

Nick Amaro: The day Nick calls his son the name of the perp on his latest case is the day he realizes he’s been working too much. The self-disgust is overwhelming, and Nick decides to take the some much needed time off to be with his family. It does wonders; he’s happier, you’re happier, the kids are happier--and Nick quickly comes to the conclusion that family time is beneficial to all of you, and he works hard to maintain and build that family time as best as he can. He can’t always spare hours on end, but he makes time as he gets it, which isn’t nearly as difficult as he thought it would be. Plus, there was no sound sweeter than the sound of his kids’ laughter, and he’d do anything to hear that sound as often as he could. 

Johnny Tuturro: Working with the FBI and being a father was tough, but Johnny thought he was pretty good at it. He was there, more often than not, when your daughter woke up in the morning, and he always called to say good night if he wasn’t home. He was kicking ass at this life thing--or so he thought. One night, when he called, he heard his precious baby girl say “I don’t wanna talk to Daddy!” “What? Why?” You asked. “I want Daddy to come home!” She cried back, and Johnny felt tears in his eyes as he listened to her cry. This half-in, half-out thing just wasn’t enough--he had to do better. So Johnny put in a request to get off of undercover work and work on cases from an office. He was able to have breakfast, dinner, and storytime with his family, and that made all the difference in the world. 

Rio: Rio came home late one night to find Marcus waiting for him. “What you still doin’ up, papa?” Rio asked, whispering so he didn’t wake you or his baby up. “I just wanted to see you,” Marcus answered, getting up, “We forgot what color your eyes were.” And with that, he was gone. Rio stood in the living room for what felt like hours after that, picturing Marcus and your son discussing him and not remembering what their dad looked like because he was working so much. The thought made him sick. He got on the phone then and told Mick they were gonna cut back on distribution until they found more reliable employees, and Rio made sure to spend as much quality time with you and the kids as he could. He knew, of course, that there would still be times he worked late, but he talked about his absences with the kids, and made sure they knew that their Daddy loved them, and would do with anything for them. So even if he was gone, they knew he would come back, and they knew how much he loved them. 

*******************************************************************************************

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[newmysterygirl]

Warning: Strong language and possibly graphic details.

A/N: This is not all sunshine and butterflies. I would recommend listening to Grenade by Bruno Mars but the slowed and revered version :)

"He's Dead"

I see the person point the gun to Oscar's head. I go to run towards the building, cocking my gun when I feel arms wrap around me, grabbing the gun and I let him because that wasn't the only gun I had on me and I wasn't gonna let Oscar die. Definitely not because of me.

"You can't" Sadeyes whispers

"Yes" I elbow him in the gut "I can" I whisper then start running.

As I'm running the person pushes the gun further into Oscar's temple which makes his head move and we lock eyes.

The guy grabs his chin roughly and puts the gun in his mouth. Which send me running again but I'm tackled. They wrapped their arms tightly around me.

I freeze and stare at him. His eyes widen then go back to normal. He looks behind me then looks at me again.

"Let me go" I say in a low voice but sternly

"No You aren't thinking straight. We can't just bust in" Joker says

"Yes the fuck we can. You know what you guys" I look at Sadeyes "don't got to but I'M not letting him die."

I see Sadeyes look up. I'm assuming at the guys and Oscar then I see him nod. He walks over to me and covers my mouth. I start squirming and try to bite,hit,kick,pinch whatever I could till I hear

POP POP POP

I freeze, look at Sadeyes and see it in his eyes.

He's dead.

I give up on fighting Joker and close my eyes, lean my head back on his shoulder and start sobbing. I try to be quite but at this moment I don't care and I could feel it. Physically in my chest. I've felt this before and I NEVER wanted to feel it again but here I am.

After I don't ever know how long Joker says "You gotta get up baby"

I don't respond in any way. I keep my eyes shut and cry.

Joker sits up and I feel Sadeyes pick my up bridal style. I put one arm around his neck and lay the other on my stomach "I gotchu mana" he whispers as I cry in his neck.

I hear a car pull up as Sadeyes is walking. I lift up my head and see Carlos,Tito,Benito and Cruz get out the Impala and Julio,Oso and Benny get out the van.

BOOM

Sadeyes turns around real quick and we see the place on fire.

I jump out of Sadeyes arms and this time I only hear foot steps behind me.

I hear the other's cock there's. We see the guys walking to their cars

I pull out the gun from my bra and cock it as I'm walking.

"19th street" the guys whisper

I watch them closely. I see one guy start to walk into the woods with the gas tank. I go into the trees. One or a couple of the guys follow me. The guy turns around and sees me and whoever followed me shot him then we dropped to the ground as the rest shot the 19th street Members.

Once the guns stopped I got up, grabbed the gas tank and walk towards the 19th street Members. Some dead some almost. As I get closer one that's sitting against the car say

"You couldn't show up could you? You're the reason he's dead. You killed him."

Then he get shots. Once in the neck, 2 in the stomach and 1 in the thigh and nun of those were from me.

I look at the boys on the floor and ask "They all dead"

Sadeyes says "Nah. Watcha thinkin"

I hand him the gasoline and pull out my lighter. He starts dumping it on the body's when Carlos walks up with another gasoline tank and starts pouring it on them.

After they are drenched. We all stand infront of the body's, take our lighters out and throw them on them. We step back as we watch them burn, squirm and some make some noises.

After a couple minutes we hear sirens so we run the other direction towards the cars and jump in. I get in the back of the van because I felt like I would feel to claustrophobic in the back of the Impala.

As I'm sitting in the back of the van I start thinking about this whole day.

That Morning

I wake up and Oscar's not next to me so I get up and walk into the hallway. I'm about to call his name when I hear

"They won't get her. I'd die before I'd let that happen"

I move up against the wall and continue to listen.

"They were wanting you but apparently figured it would be worse if quote 'both the King and Queen died'

"What's that supposed to mean" Oscar ask

"They plan on either taking you and making her go rescue you or take her and make"

"Me rescue her"

I close my eyes and think great. I step out where they can see me and Oscar turns around "buenos días mi Reina" he says moving towards me with a smile.

We kiss and I say "Mornin." Then I turn towards the guys "Morning guys"

They all bid me a morning and I look back at Oscar and ask "You really busy"

"No what's up?"

I nod my head towards the bedroom. He nods then turns back to the guys telling them he'd be back as I was walking down the hall. I walk in the bedroom and then he does and closes the door. I turn around and say "I heard"

He closes his eyes,rubs his chin and takes a deep breath before looking at me and saying.

"What you don't understand is I'd catch a grenade for ya. Throw my hand on a blade for ya. I'd jump in front of a train for ya. You should know I'd do anything for ya. I would go through all the pain in the world for ya. Take a bullet straight through my brain. Yes I would die for you. Your telling me you wouldn't do the same"

"I would bu"

He interrupt by saying

"So. Let. Me. Handle it."

And he walks out slamming the door. I fall back on the bed with my arm over my eyes.

A Few Hours Before He Was Taken

Oscar says "I love you and I just want you safe"

"And I love you and I just want YOU safe. I can't let you die because of me. You got Cesar to think about. I'LL be ok."

Oscar says "NO. It's not up for discussion. You don't have to protect yourself anymore. I gotchu. I'LL handle this."

I just stare at him. He moves closer, grabbing my hand pulling me towards him, looking me in the eyes he says "I love you. Your el amor de mi vida princesa"

"I love you but" I look down at his chain

"I'm not used to this"

"I know" he tilts my chin up "but I gotchu"

I just nod because I know he's as stubborn as me so I know how this will go if I keep going. We kiss till there's a knock at the door saying it was time for him to go.

Back To Her In The Van

I didn't realize we had made it to the house because I was lost in my thoughts but when I snap out of it I see the guys standing there looking at me. I get out and walk into the house not saying anything to anybody because I know we are all fucked up right now. As I'm walking down the hall I check Cesar's room but don't see him. Thankfully.

I go to Oscar's room, get one of his shirts and boxers and take a quick shower. Once I get out I brush my teeth and get in bed. I smell him and it all hits me like a bat out of hell. I just can't stop the tears. I don't even hear to door open. I feel the bed indent and I gasp and sit up fast. I see Sadeyes

"It's ok. Sorry."

I wave him off then wipe my tears. I look at him and give him a sad smile. We all need each other right now it's not just me that lost someone.

"You can talk to me. We're all hurting."

He nods and gives me his best smile but I can see it in his eyes. "What that guy said"

I cut him off by saying "I should of been taken not him"

Sadeyes puts his hand on mine stopping me from talking.

"The plans changed and it was a last minute decision. He didn't die because of you. He died FOR you. He never looked,saw,treated or loved anyone like he did you. You were his Queen and your still his Queen and OUR Queen." He gives my hand a squeeze "We gotchu."

I give his hand a little squeeze and give him a small smile before saying "I gotchu guys too. If you want or need to vent. Like always I'm here.

He smiles "We know" then he kisses my forehead before standing up "I'll be on the couch tonight if you need me"

I just nod and he walks out. I grab Oscar's pillow and bury my face into it as I cry myself to sleep.

2 Years Later

Cesar is now the Leader of The Santos and I am a mother of 2 beautiful, Evil children.

I found out 5 weeks after Oscar died that I was 2 months pregnant.

With Twins.

I was soooooo lucky to have them because of the stress I was under I was worried but The Santos and Cesar were and are great.

I had a Boy named Mateo Spooky Diaz and a Girl named June Marie Diaz.

They are going through the terrible 2's right now so they are far from Santos.

Unless June is getting candy or money from one of her tíos or Mateo is getting whatever he wants at the moment from one of his tías. I lost the love of my life, felt like I lost everything but I honestly believe he's with me everyday because of those kids.

The End👩‍👧‍👦

[notfeelingthyaster]

Imagine (based on the incomplete fanfic Son of the Underworld) (Son of Hades! Percy AU) (5/5) or (5/10)

Hey so, this is the last part of PJO - I follow into HOO, so before you read this, check on the masterpost - and read the warnings before proceeding :)) Good reading!

Annabeth comes to him, at the end of his fifteenth birthday party, and shows her Daedalus laptop. There's a document open in it, and it's labeled Achilles' Curse.

Percy doesn't read it - he hates reading, in any way or form or language - but she does, out loud.

"I'll think about it"

They have a year. Most of them, even those who aren't year-rounders, are going back to camp, to draw battle plans and stock on the armory.

He feels kinda selfish - for a whole five seconds before he remembers he'll probably die next summer, so he just shrugs it off - Percy deserves this year.

They all leave to go back to camp. Nico seems conflicted over something - but Perseus doesn't question it, there's enough bad blood between them.

Paola is really cool - and Sally really loves her. It's kind of bizarre at first, to see his Mom dating his teacher - and of a subject he hates - but Paola is calm and well-tempered and she laughs at his stupid ass jokes.

He visits Persephone afterward - and it really feels like he has three moms to fulfill his lack of a father - well, he is absolutely grateful for the women in his life.

Percy isn't truly in good terms with his father. The man doesn't really seem to care much for him as a person - he is much more of a trophy son.

Perseus loathes being a trophy son, but at least he has someone to help with his powers - not something a lot of half-bloods can claim.

So he goes back to school with Rachel, and they pretend everything is normal. He tells her about his quests - all three of them. He thinks she understands him better now.

He opens up to her. Tells her about Annabeth - the adrenaline-fueled kiss - and Rachel stops talking with him for a week.

She apologizes when she comes back. She needed to figure some things up - firstly, the redhead tells him she is probably asexual - and maybe aromantic too, but she is not certain because the internet wasn't really clear about that.

Then Rachel confesses that she is not jealous of him in a romantic way - she is envious of his friendship with Annabeth. Percy is her first genuine friend that really appreciates her.

This is the first grudge Perseus lets go for real before it even takes place - Rachel didn't leave him because of teenage drama, she ignored him out of confusion. Everyone is allowed space - he knows this better than anyone.

They don't kiss anymore. Not because Rachel doesn't like it - no, she is all for it - but because Percy is starting to think kisses should mean something - he is saving them.

They kiss once - when Rachel father calls for the first time this year - not to ask about her, but to tell Rachel he found this amazing all-girls school. To Percy, kisses mean comfort.

They cuddle a lot, though. These past few years of fear have made Percy very touch-starved.

It's sophomore year - and Percy is in five AP classes: Macroeconomics&Microeconomics, Statistics, Calculus AB, Physics 1, and Comparative Government and Politics.

He is planning on taking both AP Computer Science classes, Psychology, Physics 2, and Calculus BC next year; leaving only Electricity&Magnetism, Mechanics, Chemistry, and World History for his senior year.

If he lives, he is working on a tight schedule here. He doesn't know what he wants yet - and if he is in constant danger, it's already pretty lucky he can do high school - but probably something with Math.

Rachel says fourteen AP courses are ambitious - that he'll burn out. But math comes to him easily enough - it's in his blood.

She is also overworking: She is taking AP Environmental Studies, Art History, Drawing, 2-D Art and Design, and English Literature and Composition.

They complete each other. Rachel is planning on taking as many Art, History, and English courses as she can - he is taking as many Physics, Math, and Science as he can handle.

(She is also going to take on Japanese studies for some reason - probably for her GPA, but Perseus just teases her that she is getting too invested in anime)

Perseus doesn't care about languages anymore - the only languages that matter to him are C++ and JavaScript now.

They study together, they take naps together, they climb to the roof together, they flee school to visit Sally together - he is the Pinky to her Brain, the Scooby to her Shaggy, the Lois Lane to her Superman, the Robin to her Batman.

They look like troublemakers - They are honor roll students, but she is always with ripped pants dirty with paint, and he is always full of flowers everywhere, even in his muddy converses - a cliche to kill all cliches.

They're both nerds - he is the classic one, all polo shirts now, the first chair for every number-related class - and she is the artsy one - there's a brush behind her ear and her hair is so messy that half the time it covers her face.

Paola gifts him a pair of cheap frames without lenses once - saying it adds to the aesthetic - he totally uses them.

Persephone just makes him flower-crowns, and giggles when he matches them with his polo shirts.

When winter comes, he goes back to his hoodies and sweaters and gloves - to find out he doesn't miss them a lot.

Rachel introduces him to polaroids - and they look eerily pretty in the winter, her hair looking like blood spilling over the snow - and he loves it.

If he survives - he can feel Rachel slapping him - when he survives, his college credits will be remarkable. The idea of doing SATs makes him want to cry - reading always does - but he'll get somewhere good - he knows it. Perhaps Stanford. Or NYU. Or the dream of his life, MIT.

He is living his life to the fullest - he starts reading comic books, he gets really (really) into Tony Stark once Iron Man 1 comes out (even if he has to kill at least three monsters just to go to the movies), he plants trees and Rachel starts teaching him how to play her ukulele - but half his mind is still on the upcoming war.

Christmas vacation comes - and he goes to visit Camp Half-Blood, before heading back to his mom. It's quite memorable, if only by the fact that Nico Di Angelo freaking betrays him.

He tells Percy to come to the Winter Solstice with him. Most of the campers are not going - the war effort is in an all-time high - but Percy has never gone before. Hades will be there - it'll be great!

Perseus should absolutely be less surprised with the outcome - seeing that Nico is inviting him in Cabin 1, post-dinner, and they don't even stop to talk to Chiron about it.

But Percy goes. Because Percy wants to make amends.

There's no time to really talk to anyone. They travel in Blackjack for the Empire State Building - and it's fine.

They go up to Olympus, Nico shows him everything in the god's land, the temples are a work of art, if not kind of old, and the meeting is kind of okay, even if the gods are squabbling children.

Then the gods leave, and Perseus thinks they're leaving too.

"My father needs a word with you"

Perseus feels the betrayal claw on him. There are no shadows in the white hall, there's no way for him to escape. Nico looks apologetic - Percy wants to clock him in the face.

"He promised to tell me more about my mother" Nico pleads "He will tell me more about where I've come from. Please, Percy."

Nico is cute. He is, for a soon-to-be fourteen-year-old. But his pretty face and exquisite white eyes don't make him any less of a freaking liar. All his handsome male straight friends betray him - it's a worrying pattern now.

He muses for a second that they also all have a crush on Annabeth - gods, the blonde attract the worst types.

It's double-crossing - Percy ends up in an all-white cell that burns his retinas without any weapons because Zeus wants praise in the middle of this freaking war - doesn't matter if a hundred demigods die, if he only has the glory.

Nico ends up with barely any information - Zeus didn't promise anything. The god of the skies is a lying-ass motherfucker - literally.

And Zeus justifies it - He says Perseus is a criminal because he awakened Typhon. So Hephaestus issues a quest so he can save a hundred demigods, he destroys a powerful titan weapon of doom, and he is the villain? Sure, Jan.

Perseus writes this grudge in his heart - that's where trust will take you. To a cell. Betrayed by a "friend". Again.

He flinches when Nico comes into his cell, pins him to the wall and promptly begins to try and strangle him. He wants to melt in the boy's shadow - to go and never give him a chance to explain - but he looks so guilty Percy waits for his repentance.

The son of Zeus saves him, but Perseus is still pissed off. The god of thunder has threatened to kill him off at least two times now, what is to say he wouldn't have killed off Percy for the sake of glory?

He half hopes Zeus had killed him off. The war is close, too close - Nico wouldn't be the Prophecy's child. There would be no child. Olympus would fall - and Percy would have seen it all from his very comfortable couch in Elysium.

He wants Kronos gone - but he kind of wants Olympus to fall with the Titan.

Nico flies him down to the Earth - the elevator is monitored. Zeus has left, like many others - not to bother with the war effort against his main enemy, but to go to the human world mess with people.

Some gods are doing something - He has heard from Annabeth that Artemis is leading the widest hunt ever, with her brother by her side; Hermes (with Hephaestus help) is delivering Celestial Bronze, other metals, old schematics and a whole lot of fuel to Camp Half-Blood every few weeks; Poseidon is fighting his own war, in the ocean; Dionysus is at Camp - and this time, he is really helpful with the battle formations; Demeter is on the Underworld - Chiron seems to think his father is preparing for war, but Percy sorely doubts it.

Percy is taking some people with him to Sally's Christmas dinner. Just Annabeth, Clarisse, Rachel, Connor, Travis, and Charles - people who don't have a present family to celebrate it with.

Grover is coordinating the dryads up in San Francisco with his second cousin, Gleeson Hedge - they are the first to fall if anything goes wrong in Mt. Othrys.

"I think you should stay." He tells Nico.

"You don't trust me anymore." It's not actually a question.

Percy doesn't trust the boy. Not at all - it's the third time he does something shady to achieve his ends based on emotional turmoil. But he is a good person - it's just his father's cursed temper and his grief.

"It's not that. You're needed for the war effort."

Both of them know it's a lie. Percy doesn't care - he deserves to be bitter a little longer.

Percy goes back home. Christmas is amazing - even if Rachel asks him where Nico is because he is talking about making amends with the boy for a while now.

He goes visit Persephone - but she is occupied, so he wanders through the Underworld after Bianca di Angelo - someone he, for some reason, never been able to reach. It's a pointless endeavor by now.

He finds her. Or else, he finds a shadow of her - she is blocked from his view. Bianca doesn't talk to him - they weren't close - but she guides him to a girl.

Her name is Hazel Levesque.

She seems lost - like most ghosts - but something in Percy calls for her. It's the color of her skin and the sparkle in her golden eyes - Hazel remembers him of himself.

He promises to visit more - even though he doesn't think she'll remember it - and leaves to go back to the surface - he will finish the sophomore year.

And Percy does. After a very distressing break, he is doing his best. His grades drop a little in English because he can barely focus - half his mind is on the war and Nico's betrayal and Hazel Levesque's golden eyes.

Miraculously, his GPA doesn't fall - he still is taking a ridiculous amount of AP classes, and barely has time to breathe - dark circles grow under his eyes, and he looks like a mess - but now he is a Junior.

That's why, as soon as the year ends, Rachel takes him on a road trip with Connor. They go all the way to Boston, then Portland, Quebec, Montreal, Ottawa, Syracuse, Baltimore, and Filadelfia, before going back to NY.

They are stopped five times by the police - because Percy is black, and it's Rachel driving the Camaro, because she has a learner's permit and Connor is, somehow, an approved license holder.

They are on a pier, enjoying the view of the beach. They did the last week alone because Connor wanted to go check on one of his cousins - at least, that's what he said, with an over-exaggerated wink that both Percy and Rachel ignored for the sake of their sanity.

She tells him about Clarion Ladies Academy - but that her father is at least mildly happy with her GPA this year, even if he disapproves of her Art focused AP classes. Percy thinks Mr. Dare would love him, with his APs on Economics and Politics, if only he was rich. And white.

This time, when Charles Beckendorf arrives in a Pegasus to tell him it's time, Rachel doesn't kiss him - she justs hugs him and makes him promise to call her.

Perseus doesn't go to the Andromeda Ship - he is needed in Camp. He is useless on the water - but they do need him to improve battle strategy.

Charles Beckendorf is dead. Thalia is the one to tell them - she was in her father's palace helping with a monster under her Lady's orders - he went on the mission alone.

Percy talks briefly with Beckendorf's ghost - is his worst developed power, and he can barely hold the "seance" for more than a few minutes. He does it with only Nico di Angelo for witness - the others are the way to close to the situation.

There's a spy passing information to Luke.

They look at him. Doesn't matter how much he does, he is always the first suspect - he is a son of Hades. He was friends with a lot of people on the other side. He was gone for a year and a half, who knows where.

Perseus wants to say that he has helped to save their asses four times now - that without him in the Labyrinth, they would all be dead right now - and that Charles was basically his older brother.

Then he points out he wasn't even here - he had no idea of any plans of anything - and he told him about the spy, so he is not the freaking spy, go point fingers at each other instead of him.

When they start yelling, he stops them - this is not the time, he was just angry at their accusations. They have to burn Charles shroud. Silena is inconsolable - Percy is not very far from it, but he is not a public crier. The last time he cried in public, Luke was dead on a cliff.

Percy speeds up the line for Elysium to Beckendorf - his brother deserves it.

They read the prophecy together - Perseus already read it last summer, he doesn't even care anymore. They look at him anxiously - no one has forgotten that he abhors most of the gods.

Clarisse and Michael Yew fight, but Lee Fletcher - with a mechanical arm built by Beckendorf himself, still re-learning how to shoot arrows and forever incapable of playing the guitar again (but the keyboard is not ruled out yet) - stops them: They can share the chariot. The war is more important - is not the time for petty fights.

Chiron shows them Typhon - and Perseus has a sliver of hope that they can destroy Kronos and be free of the gods at the same time - It's a horrible hope, because he loves Persephone and some of them are even okay sometimes, but he really wants Zeus to go to Tartarus for at least a century, so Perseus doesn't meet him again in this life.

But he also wants the gods to win, because there's a lot of dead people - innocents, people who have nothing to do with this war.

He dreams of Rachel. Rachel is painting Luke - and Percy wakes up crying, for the boy the gods took away.

Annabeth takes him aside and reminds him of Achilles' Curse. He is off to May Castellan's house - the last place Luke has been - for it's his best and only chance, its what Annie thinks. And she is scarcely wrong.

Perseus hates the gods. They wrecked a family - and for what? May Castellan - forever waiting for a son that will never come back, haunted by visions of his future, plates of burned cookies everywhere.

Perseus doesn't pity her - he rages against the gods, who brought madness upon this woman and then left her to it. Where was Apollo, the god of health? Dionysus, who is supposed to control mental health? Artemis, whose job is to protect women?

Hestia is kind - but she is still a goddess. She could've prevented this - but she hides in her hearth and abstains - and that's enabling. Hestia enables the other gods to do as they please, even when she is the oldest. She says they ignore her - oh well, she ignores them right back! He has no time for the laments of another all-powerful being.

So he goes to his mother and asks for her blessing. Then, just to be sure, he asks Persephone's too.

He thinks about his anchor - where does he want it to be in his body. He doesn't want somewhere in his back - where he can't see it - or in his gut - where anyone can stick a sword. He settles for the bottom of his back - where he can at least touch it and it's well protected by armor - and dives.

Perseus hates water - and he has an uncanny fear of drowning. He feels pain - everywhere, horrible pain.

His vision now doesn't have Annabeth's face - the blonde is his link to the demigod world, Persephone is his link to the Underworld and his mom is his link to childhood - but the person who grounds him is Rachel.

He is stronger. He feel his powers at his fingertips - Perseus feels the Underworld as a whole, and it's overwhelming.

Green flames explode from his hands. Flowers made of shadows curve around his ankles - he has been training since he was 12, but now his body can sustain all of his power. This is all his.

He goes meet with his father - Perseus manipulates him. He tells Hades he'll be the hero, but the god himself can be praised for more than being his father. That he should join the battle against Typhon - That's his chance of proving himself. Also, there's less paperwork for him if there are fewer dead people.

His father is amused with his blatant bribing, but he thinks about it, Percy can tell. In a way or another, he excuses himself and goes back to the surface where he is needed.

Persephone stalls him. She asks him to stay, just for this night. He can go back in the morning - he sleeps, and dreams of Rachel again, drawing in the sand. In greek.

He is scared for her - she is having demigod dreams, but she is mortal. Something is wrong.

Typhon is getting worse - and Kronos draws closer to NYC. It's time - he calls for Blackjack and leaves - Mrs. O'Leary, who has become more or less of a mother to his own hellhound, follows. Persephone promises to convince Hades.

They have about sixty campers able to fight heading for the Empire State Building, and five healers. The ones too young to lift a sword or string a bow stayed back at Camp with Argus - fifteen children between 5 and 9 years old.

Percy knows he looks different - he looks just like his father. He has gained a godly aura - he has no scars anymore, no imperfections. Perseus looms over all of them - he went from 5'7'' to 6'2'' - it's a weird view, from up there. It's still strange when they look at him with a mix of fear and admiration.

Perseus Jackson is officially their leader. He hates Olympus - but he will give his life to defend every single one of his demigods.

The vision Hestia shows him just makes him want to tear this throne room with his bare hands - Luke was a kid. He was a kid - and the gods corrupted him. Thalia was a kid - and the gods took her life, twice. Annabeth is still a kid - they all are - and she is here planning battle strategies.

Annabeth missed an extra year of formal education - while Percy is a Junior, Annabeth barely qualifies for a Freshman - because the gods took this from her too.

Percy rages. The ground of Olympus trembles beneath him - he wants to kill something.

Then Hermes appears - like this whole war is not his fault in the first place, the literal bastard - just to relay a message from Athena that gives them a plan that Annabeth was already putting into works and tells Percy to stay away from Annabeth.

Like she cares. Like Athena has ever, ever, done anything for Annabeth.

Perseus can't punch Athena, so he punches the messager (also, because he freaking guilt trips both of them about Luke). He has nothing to lose - he is going to die by the end of the day anyway, and they need him too much.

He has punched a god before - Ares, in a desert in the middle of Los Angeles - but this time, it's satisfactory. He feels good after it.

Hermes seems strangely resigned - He feels guilty about Luke too, but Perseus doesn't think it's enough. It'll never be enough, not while the gods leave their children to rot in a cabin of rejects and May Castellan bakes cookies for a son that will never come back.

Hermes leaves, ashamed. It's only fair, Perseus thinks. They all should be ashamed.

They see the city asleep - the prophecy is in the works.

Perseus executes their strategy - every cabin is covering a tunnel, with the exception of Dionysus, because Pollux is with the Demeter kids, and the Hecate kids stay behind to use spells to overlook the city. Lincoln Tunnel is getting covered by Ares - who, this time around, is actively participating.

The undetermined who didn't desert are with Hermes - and the minor god's children are divided by specialty - most Hypnos and Morpheus children follow him directly, but the two sons of Iris go with the Apollo Cabin.

Annabeth executes Plan 23, automatons, mounting on Mrs. O'Leary (who has strict orders to take Annabeth anywhere she wants without stopping to play around) - she doesn't need his help with this, and Percy has a tunnel to defend.

That left the rivers uncovered - until Thalia appears, with magical sand money, and made the rivers cooperate.

The hunters join the Aphrodite kids - who are half a dozen children between 11 and 19 - the oldest being Silena Beauregard, who uses a crossbow that looks exactly like her immortal half-brother's one.

His bridge is completely covered on skeletons - but no monster comes, even if he hears explosions. He leaves an English Lieutenant from the Battle of Yorktown in command of the bridge - with Tyene, the oldest daughter of Morpheus, to be in alert and don't let Clovis sleep through the battle. Because he did it before - and while it is funny, it can't happen right now.

Perseus mounts Blackjack - and go see where the noise is coming from. It's the Williamsburg Bridge - where are most of Apollo's Cabin.

They fight - and Percy almost cries when he sees Luke, who is not Luke anymore. Luke, who is a puppet controlled by Kronos.

Perseus kills the Minotaur and the weight of his stone spikes collapse the bridge - and Michael Yew dies. This time around, the bridge falls silently into shadows, and he doesn't bother about searching for the corpse - he saw the boy falling, and his screams will haunt all of them, forever.

This time around, Annabeth is not there to protect him - Ethan also doesn't try to kill him. The Son of Nemesis doesn't leave Kronos side for a second - but there's regret in his eyes.

After the bloodlust is gone, Perseus collapses - Will has to bride carry him back. Overuse of his powers - he summoned skeletons and produced shadows, melted enemy swords (with the bonus of incapacitating them without killing), and sprouted stone spikes everywhere - there's even a vine or ten that he used to hold his friends from falling.

Perseus doesn't sleep quickly enough to not hear the yell of anguish that comes from Lee Fletcher - the pain of losing a brother and not being able to fight beside him.

But he does sleep - and he dreams. He dreams of Hades killing Maria Di Angelo, not Hera, like Zeus told Nico. He dreams of Zeus cursing the Oracle - and he seethes, because he also sees what happened to May Castellan.

He keeps getting angrier and angrier at the gods - it's building inside of him. But his friends are still here, still fragile. He can't let them suffer more.

Perseus wakes up, checks on everyone - most everyone is either injured and/or exhausted, but he checks on every camper. He knows all of their names, their ages, their cabins. - and promises to sit up to talk with Thalia and Nico - war makes him prone to peace - and promptly goes back to sleep.

He dreams of Rachel. He wants to scream for her not to come: but she'll anyway.

Perseus dreams of a boy. He is his age - maybe a little younger. His hair is blonde and his skin is whiter - but Percy glances at his eyes, and there are waves in them.

There's a girl by his side - she is familiar to Percy, somehow. They're climbing a mountain.

The dream ends and Percy can't make heads or tails of it. He asks Thalia if she has a brother, but she says that she doesn't, looking wistful.

Prometheus is tempting - but he knows there's no Luke anymore, there's only Kronos. And the gods are horrible, vile and immature - but they never killed any of Percy's friends. Some of them died for the gods - but never by their hands, so for now, Perseus would toe the line.

He does want to punch Hermes again. He takes the Pythos - if everything goes wrong, he will not hesitate in going down for the sake of his friends - but there have been six deaths, and it's enough.

"Was it worth it?" He asks Ethan.

"Alabaster is alive" And it's all the answer Percy needs.

He dreams of Ethan and Alabaster. Alabaster is alive, yes, but he is missing half a leg - courtesy of Clarisse herself. Luke - Kronos - is indifferent, and Ethan curses the daughter of Ares - "The sword that took from us will take from you"

He contains Hyperion with his shadows. Then he helps Grover (who was half asleep, because of Morpheus) to make the Titan into a tree. It's a pomegranate tree - then he sets hellish fire to it and sacrifices it to Hades and Persephone.

A pig is in the sky - this time around, Annabeth and her frightening army of automatons kill it with Nico's help.

Perseus laughs - because Annabeth has about two hundred automatons under her command, Martin Luther King and Alexander Hamilton leading the charge with a giant bull being ridden by the Mad Hatter behind them.

It's weird to see historic figures Percy admires - like Jane Bolin, Sylvia Mendez, or Abraham Lincoln - fighting alongside people he downright despises - Thomas Jefferson and the goatfucker, herpes-ridden, Colombus. His Comparative Government teacher would have a field day.

Annabeth and Nico's pair up is amazing - They fight alongside like they have been doing it all life.

Nico is a force of nature, flying and commanding the winds to do his bidding - His eyes shine in the midst of the stormy clouds. His specialty is weather manipulation - he hasn't had much success with direct energy or electric discharges.

Annabeth has her mother's tenacity for war - and her clever mind for strategies. It's clear in her eyes - she is racking the weaker points of the Clazmonian Sow in her mind and destroying it. The automatons hold the pig in place - and she makes bacon of it.

Hercules couldn't do it. Nico and Annabeth can, because they have the power and the mind.

Perseus is still fighting off monsters - but they're too widespread, so they retreat to the doors of the Empire State Building.

Percy does a mental tally: of sixty-two campers, six are confirmed dead, twenty are injured and nine are out of commission on exhaustion. There should be 27 orange shirts here - but there's only twenty.

Percy wonders if the seven missing are injured, or dead, or under a pile of rubble somewhere with no one to help them. Is there someone being slowly eaten by monsters? Is there someone alone and injured and abandoned? He doesn't know.

He prays that those seven deserted them - at least that means they probably are alive and well.

Perseus looks at Phoebe's grief-stricken face, and he knows it's not probable - she had almost three dozen hunters with her, and now there's barely fifteen still fighting, Thalia nowhere to be seen.

They prepare for their last standing - Percy keeps conjuring skeletons, but they're no match for the sheer strength of the hyperborean giants. Nico is shoulder to shoulder with the Stoll brothers against a group of telkhines - Clarisse is bringing down a whole giant by herself.

After the Party Ponies save them - Chiron leads the charge against his own father, and Perseus is so proud of his mentor he can't even put in words how much - he goes to sleep. Fighting gets him tired quickly, and they'll come back.

He dreams of Dionysus. Perseus is not fond of any god who is not Persephone, but Dionysus is mostly okay sometimes. He seems to care about his children.

Perseus couldn't care less about the Western Civilization - but he'll care for Pollux. It's one of his demigods, after all, and Underworld people are possessive of theirs (i.e. Hades and Persephone).

He dreams of Thalia, in her father's palace, begging Poseidon to leave the underwater war and help with the invasion - His wife is none too happy with the presence of his immortal bastard daughter.

He wakes up to Rachel's helicopter falling - how is Rachel even awake, is a mistery.

The improbable pair Nico and Annabeth strike again: The girl knows how to fly helicopters, and the boy can fly himself. They save the redhead and the pilot - everything is fine.

"You're not the hero"

"Why did you risk yourself to tell me something I already know?"

Rachel doesn't explain - she can't. But she has a vision that says that he is not the hero. The hero of what? Perseus has no idea. But there's no way any of his cousins is dying for this stupid prophecy.

Suddenly, there's a drakon there. Rachel has another prophecy - Perseus fears she will walk the path that led May Castellan to destruction - that only a child of Ares will be able to kill it.

Bad news: All children of Ares are otherwise out of battle.

Clarisse is resting after a nasty concussion - and her brothers and Apollo's children are fighting yet again because Lee Fletcher is in no condition to stop them and Michael Yew is dead. Ares' side refuses to fight without the chariot - which Cabin 7 has hidden somewhere.

The best they can do is fend the drakon off until a miracle occurs. And it does: Clarisse, in full armor, manages to lead her brothers into battle.

Clarisse is dead. Something shatters inside of Perseus - and he leaves the drakon for the Ares' children to solve - he can't kill it anyway - and starts to vaporize the army behind it.

He is so caught up in bloodlust, that he almost misses Clarisse slaying a dragon. Clarisse, who has no armor. Clarisse, who is alive.

Ethan's curse rang true - Clarisse's weapon took something from her.

Silena is a traitor. She is also dead - which makes her a martyr, and probably going to reunite with her boyfriend in Elysium.

He remembers how easy is to fall for Luke's charm - he was - is - still in love with the guy. Percy thought the son of Hermes could do no wrong - and he wonders how much of his rage against the gods sprout from his influence.

Something evil inside of Perseus's mind tells him she deserved it. It tells Perseus that better her than Clarisse - but he shuts it down, and concentrates on his shining red friends.

He hates Ares. But he might just have an okay side if he can produce such a magnificent daughter.

Silena is the Patroclus to Clarisse's Achilles, and the Drakon is Hector - and the daughter of Ares is sure to parade its dead body.

It's the first time they feel like they are winning. It doesn't last - but as he hugs Clarisse tightly, he thinks he might cry of relief.

Clarisse looks tough - but she is a wonderful human being. She loves Silena with her whole heart - even more than she loves Chris, her best friend. Silena might've been in love with Charles - but she and Clarisse? They are soulmates.

The damned Pythos is following Perseus - and he is done with it. He knows where hope will survive best. Rachel wants him to give it to Hestia - but he owns the fire goddess nothing.

She has never interfered, not once, to help the dozens of demigods with no family that is abandoned in Cabin 11, and he won't forgive her for it.

He sacrifices hope to Persephone because that's what spring is. Spring is the hope of a new life. Maybe, Perseus thinks, it'll convince his father to come.

They go down to make their final stand against the forces of Kronos. There's not a lot of them - but they're not getting through those doors.

Well, his father doesn't come. But Poseidon does, with his whole army, Tyson and Thalia behind him, and the scales seem to turn.

And then Kronos cuts the barrier. Perseus can see his Mom (why is his Mom here with a handgun?!) and Poseidon fighting against the monsters under the eyes of extremely confused mortals.

Some are trying to break the barrier - but it's futile. Kronos has corraled them like sheep for the slaughter.

It's just him, Grover, Annabeth and Nico, fighting against Kronos vanguard - which is big, but not as strong as they are.

Kronos passes him without resistance - Ethan follows, but there's anger in his eyes - not for Percy, but for the monster he is leashed to. Alabaster is not there.

As soon as Kronos powers stop working on them, the four follow the titan - and some things never change, no matter the universe.

This time, it's Nico who falls because of Hera - it's her curse over all of her husband's bastards.

Ethan takes one look at Perseus, and they don't even need to fight. They have been friends for longer than they have been enemies - and they both loathe the gods, but Kronos is as much of an all-powerful controller being as any of the Olympians.

They battle against Kronos - Perseus has only his ax against his scyther - a true Underworld fight.

Ethan dies. And Perseus bloodlust consumes him - it clouds his eyes and he can only keep fighting.

"If... if we've had cabins... and they had thrones"

It's true, and more than ever, Perseus wishes Kronos wasn't such a bastard. He wouldn't bother killing the gods - but the titan is a way worse option.

"LUKE, PLEASE" It's Annabeth. He doesn't have her faith - she didn't saw his transformation. But he tries anyway because he loves Luke just as much as he hates Kronos.

"Luke, remember our summer" But his words are caught up in his throat when the titan throws him against the wall.

But the amalgamation of his friend and an all-powerful being looks confused, so props for his genius best friend.

Kronos shows them a rainbow message of Typhon - and that's where Perseus it's pretty sure he starts liking his father.

Because the Lord of the Dead opens up the earth and gets out in a black chariot guided by skeletal horses like a king. By his right side, is Persephone, in armor battle as a queen should be. By his left, is Demeter, who looks every single bit like the matron she is supposed to be.

Behind him, a hundred thousand dead roars. Charon is mounting Cerberus - and literal hell is unleashed upon the Father of Monsters.

The gods strike down Typhon, sending him back to be locked away - this time, in the depths of Tartarus instead of Mount Etna.

Kronos gets mad. Utterly, undoubtedly mad. He talks about burning Luke's body. Then he hurts Annabeth and breaks two promises in one fell swoop.

"Luke.... remember family" It's what Annabeth utters, but Perseus, already certain of their own demise, is crying now.

"That summer Luke, you promised to never hurt her again. You remember it? YOU PROMISED LUKE!!"

Annabeth's promise was already broken - he had hurt her, all those years ago, in Mt. Othrys. But the promise he made to Percy - that he would never hurt her again - is new and broken, in the river Styx no less.

Luke regains his own body, for a minute, and Perseus runs to him like a man in a desert with no water.

"Please, please tell me there's a way to undo this, Luke, please, please"

"There isn't one, Percy" And it's the first time he hears Luke call him Percy, Percy and not Perseus, in his own voice, in two years. Percy cries.

"We... we don't have much time, hellebore. Give me Annabeth's dagger. Before he... before he takes back"

Luke calls him hellebore and it makes him start crying all over again. He gives him the dagger - and Luke kills himself, taking Kronos out with him.

Luke doesn't need to ask if Percy has ever loved him - Percy kept loving Luke, one-sided as it was, even when Kronos was there.

He still crying over Luke's body when the gods arrive. Luke is dead. Ethan is dead. Silena is dead. Michael Yew is dead. Charles is dead.

He lost three of his best friends in two days. Ethan is dead. Luke is dead. Luke is dead.

Perseus can't stop crying. They take Luke's body away - but he can't stop. Annabeth explains what happened to the gods - most of it, anyway. Apollo says he is in shock - his father says he is a hero.

Perseus doesn't feel like a hero. Was this all worth it? Was it worth it the pain and the death and the suffering?

Persephone touches him - and he has no tears to cry anymore. She can't hug him here, but she'll do so later.

He stares at the walls, listening to his friends being awarded - compensated by their siblings and friends' deaths - with a blank stare. Perseus wants his mom.

They call for him. He raised his head but doesn't bother getting up. He just saved their asses - for the fifth time in a roll. He deserves to grieve.

They offer him immortality. A place between the gods.

He laughs. Zeus looks murderous, but he can't stop laughing.

"My apologies, but I have to refuse," he says. But in his mind, he is thinking about how could they even think he might want to sit between them and be an all-powerful being, be another god ignoring his children and messing with mortal lives while thousands die for him.

"Promise me, on the river Styx, that you'll give me the wish that I want."

They promise him, that if it's within their capabilities, they shall grant him his wish.

"I wish for every child at the age of twelve to be claimed. I wish for cabins in Camp Half-Blood, for every single minor god, and my own father. I wish for Calypso to be free, and to the demigods from the opposite side of this war to be given amnesty. It's not their fault. It's not any of our faults."

"You dare to-" Zeus begins, but Percy is really tired of Zeus.

"We fought your war, we won your battles. We, the unclaimed and rejected stowaways of Cabin 11. We, the children of minor and Underworld gods. We deserve respect. Just like my father deserves a throne, just like the minor gods deserve justice."

"Don't you fear us?" Athena asks, something weird shining in her eyes.

"I thought I would be dead today. At least if I die now, I'm dying for something I believe in."

It stays unsaid that he doesn't believe in them. The other demigods look at him worried - but he is not afraid of the gods.

They grant his wish. Some of them aren't happy with it, but they have to do it. He meets Calypso at the front gates of Olympus - and her smile can brighten the pits of Tartarus. He sees Alabaster talking with Lou Ellen - they are both crying.

He thinks it's the end - it's not. Thalia tells him Rachel left for Camp in her Pegasus - and his father has lift the curse, the Prophecy is gone, but he fears for his best friend.

Perseus is too tired for shadow travel - he does it anyway. He flickers, but anyway, he is too late.

It works. Rachel - his best friend - is the new Oracle. Someone jokes they can't be together anymore and Rachel lifts an eyebrow.

"We never were. Didn't you see the last few hours?" Well, he did out himself. Mostly - they might say it's just friendship, and he will hate the way they twist it. Luke wasn't a villain, and Perseus isn't a pure hero with a heart of gold.

Perseus is healing from lost love - and Annabeth is too. His crush on her was only a crush, he thinks - She is his best friend first and foremost. They cry together at the bonfire that burns away the shrouds of 43 demigods - from both sides - and 16 hunters of Artemis. Their souls all rest in Elysium now.

Alabaster comes back to Camp and helps his siblings to build the new Cabin for Hecate, full of spelled blocks and magic chimneys. Clovis and Tyene have their hands full with their own cabins - it doesn't help they keep getting sidetracked with naps.

Somehow, Nico, Thalia, and his bond over helping construct Cabin 13 - They are both way too invested in the goth vibe, mostly because Cabin 1 looks like a temple, and Cabin 3 looks like a beach cabin. And both of them are so over it.

Perseus doesn't want a goth cabin - he is fighting against the aesthetic for years - but sometimes, there are no arguments. His Cabin is made of black marble, and there are skulls everywhere, with torches shining with green fire. Outside, at least. Inside, it looks like Persephone's garden, with input from the queen herself. It's ready just shy of the end of summer vacation.

Rachel tells the next Great Prophecy. Perseus isn't such a positive person to think it won't affect him - he hopes at least it'll wait until he is done with High School.

That night, he dreams of the blonde boy again - it's his first night without nightmares since the battle. He has a scar in his lip, and his green eyes pierce Percy's soul. Perseus wonders if they'll ever meet, wonders if this boy is one of the Seven of the Prophecy.

But alas, Perseus lets it go. The summer is over - he is sixteen, somehow. He is alive and going to go back to his mortal life and his junior year, and grief. Not everything is fine - but eventually, it will be.

It's not the end. Not yet.

[hughiecampbelle]

Baby Teeth (Thomas Shelby Oneshot)

Character/s: Thomas

Word Count: 1,321

Inspired By: kind of based off this imagine

Tag List: @dontdowhatisayandnobodygetshurt @myriadimagines @lilyswritings @encounterthepast @death-of-a-mermaid @lotsoffandomrecs @woahitslucyylu @obsessedunicorn24 @thedarkqueenofavalon @fangirlsarah16 @theshelbyclan @captivatedbycillianmurphy @creativemayhems @soleil-dor @thegirlwithoutaname87

A/N: Just a lil something that's been collecting dust in my writers block folder for a while. I am so sorry about the lack of posts my loves, things will go back to normal very soon. Thank you for your patience and understanding 💜💖💜

Gif Credit: @nofckingfighting :)

FIC MASTERLIST PART ONE. / PART TWO. / PART THREE.

WANNA BE ADDED TO THE TAG LIST?

Burned out. Burned up. Your entire body turned to ash, bits and pieces of charcoal cracked off in your bed, dust coating the cheeks of your children, the remains of your lips burned into his cheeks. A crushing weight on the bones of a ruin, your cracked foundation threatening to cave in. Too strong a wind would have collapsed every strength you had just to pull yourself together, to get out of bed every morning and face the day. Fragile. Exhausted. The circles under your eyes threatening rain, staring back at him from across the table. Prominent. Resembling bruises. He couldn't remember the last time you'd slept through the night, the last time you truly relaxed. You were the result of a house fire, a burning building, a candle left unwatched. You were the stresses of the day, the what if's at night, every terrible thing that could ever happen to you, your family, him. You watched the ghosts so no one else had to.

You could only describe it as drowning. Wasting in the bath, your skin pruned, unable to breathe, choking, your head above water. Your heart racing, rejecting the very body it slept in, pounding, screaming, clawing it's way out. Your breathing labored, conscious, too loud to be your own. The air stung. Tiny hands patting the door, giggles erupting from the other side, a whine escaping one of them. They shouldn't be up this late. Past bedtime. How long had you been sitting here? Pull yourself together. Pick yourself up, one step at a time, one breath in, the next out. Sloppy buttons, wet hair, hands shaking, steadying with the doorknob. A second thought, a want to go back, to scald your own skin in the tub until it was floating in soggy chunks and pieces, too big to be washed down the drain. Maybe that would lessen the weight, the pressure, the tension. Maybe it wouldn't. You were always too forgiving with your chances.

Tossing, turning beside him, startled by the dreams. Even in sleep, these things were inescapable. A terrible feeling left you raw, scared of the dark, checking under the bed, in the closet for things made of shadows. He'd caught you, only once. Frantic, searching for relief, for a pairs of eyes to look back at you. Looking for something you knew wasn't really there. If you didn't check, something bad would happen. It would show up. Exhausted, in a yawn he beckoned you back to bed, holding you close. If you got up again, he would know. Didn't matter. No eyes. Not under the bed, not in the closet, not waiting the corner for you to turn your back. Another night safe. Another night awake. Too late to check the soil, to press your palm to the soft wet grass the way you used to. No use, though. Six feet under. There wouldn't be a heartbeat anyways.

The doors, the windows, every lock you could remember checked twice. Sometimes, when the dark was too quiet, too still, you'd carry them one by one to your bed, needing them to be close, to be safe. Apologize for waking them, stirring them from their sweetest dreams, tucking them in with a kiss and a promise of everlasting love. One in your arms, another in his, the rest lay where they fall. Objects of comfort, stuffed animals and pacifiers, baby dolls and cloths littered the bed like landmines. Little hands and feet ice cold pressed against you, a welcomed discomfort. He didn't flinch as he was pulled at, tugged on, all of it a reflex now. Hush them, rock them, will them to sleep again. Without the cap, the coat, those starry night eyes of his closed, he almost looked human.

Baby drool dried in the pillows, tiny snores filling between you, but the distance was an ocean wide. Call it what he may, he knew you were right. Burning greater in these moments. The only one awake, aware, left to brew in your own worries. Regret spilling over your insides, erroding you, your belly full of every bad decision. This life took its toll. The threats. The violence. The way he almost smirked when the blood of others finally washed out of his collar. A second death. The moment that ring slipped around your finger the Grimm Reaper started stepping on your heels. You'd done enough. Faced enough. Scars across your mind, body, and soul the result of the Blinders and their drama. Recovery never easy, the aches and pains living even after the scars have faded, that shop becoming a constant reminder. You put up with it though, because you loved him, and because saying yes was your decision.

But it was not theirs.

A big family, that's what you always wanted. A home full of warmth, of love, of enough mouths to feed to start an army. Hesitant, he was, but not for the reasons you should have been. The world wasn't so scary for a man who saw war. When he walked, others moved. When he spoke, they quited. His presence demanded everyone's attention. He never realized though, he brought that war home, back to Birmingham, to your bed, in his blood. He was only scared of the father he'd be. But you? You knew how easy soft skin caught on the sharpest edges of this life. Every scrape, bump, bruise, cry, it only made the dangers that much more prominent, that much more deadly.

First smiles, first laughs, first words and steps. He promised he'd be there for it all, each of them. Sometimes he was, sometimes he wasn't, but he tried. He loved it, celebrated every milestone no matter how small. You were more careful, more cautious. The first day of school, first tooth, first crush, and every broken heart after that, all of it meant they were hurling towards adulthood, towards their own freedom. For a Shelby, the likelihood of seeing another day dwindled as the candles on the cake grew. Tommy assured you, over each crib and sleeping infant, he would do what it took to protect them, no one would ever hurt a hair on your child's head. Talk was so easy, though, so cheap. He promised the same the night of your wedding, and at your bedside every time after that when he failed. You couldn't bear the thought of history repeating itself in them. If it was between you and them, you made him promise, cross his heart and hope to die, stick a needle in his eye, he would save them.

Always.

He knew. You didn't tell him, but he knew. They all did. They could read in the ways you dug at your skin just to calm down, the ways you paced back and forth, how attentive you were to every coo or gurgle, the glaze over your eyes when they spoke of anything yellowed by the past, brightened by the future. This moment was the only place your thoughts could live. Life was too heavy right now. It wasn't just you and him anymore. It wasn't only your broken bones, or the ringing in your ears, or the paralyzing fear when anything resembling a gunshot pops. It was theirs now and you knew no matter how easy it was to put the blame in his hands, it was your fault, too. It was a decision you both made, a step you took together. Your children were your world, a slice of your own personal heaven, proof there was someone looking out for you after all. They were your pride and joy, the only happiness you found when the thought of a smile was impossible. They were also your greatest weakness, a vulnerability like no other. If anyone ever wanted to get through you, hollow you out, they would use your children against you.

No one knew that better than this family.

[peanutxparker]

A (very long) list of all of my favorite AJJ lyrics because why not

Candy Cigarettes and Cap Guns (2005)

“Well my great grand-dad he died of cancer, from smoking too many cigarettes. But I must confess that he did quite profess to being the coolest motherfucker I ever met.”

“And cocaine is essentially vegan and they don't give a fuck anyway.”

“And I can't help but miss him even though he hit me everyday.”

“So fuck white people! (fuck white people!)”

“Heaven is a special place in hell where you can watch the people you hate get hurt.”

“You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming ‘cause I'm gonna take your life. You find me quite charming and I find it quite alarming and I'm sad you won't be my wife.”

“What makes you think you can be so pretty? And what makes you think you can be so great? And what makes you think you can be so intelligent? And what makes you think you can be so far away?”

“What makes you think you can be so wonderful? And what makes you think you can be so keen? And what makes me think I can be so hurtful? And what makes me think I can be so mean?”

“Sometimes I feel like a cigarette, I'm wrapped in paper and I'm suffocating to death.”

“I don't want to be a cigarette anymore. I'll go to hell in my self death all day and night, so please just put me out.”

People Who Can Eat People Are The Luckiest People In The World (2007)

“Rejoice despite the fact this world will hurt you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will kill you. Rejoice despite the fact this world will tear you to shreds. Rejoice because you’re trying your best”

“I'm afraid to leave the house. I'm as timid as a mouse. I'm afraid if I go out I'll outwear my welcome. I'm not a courageous man. I don't have any big lasting plans. I'm too cowardly to take a stand, I want to keep my nose clean. And it's sad to know that we're not alone in this and it's sad to know that there's no honest way out. In this life we lead, we could conquer everything if we could just get the brave to get out of bed in the morning.”

“And I give a thank-you to my father for not raising me, and I give a finger to my step-father for beating me, and I give props to myself for achieving, and god damn I’m glad that I survived, and god damn I’m surprised that I survived.”

“So I looked into your eyes and I saw the reflection of a coward you and I both hate very much and then I grabbed the knife and I let the blood out of your throat and I smashed those tiny mirrors inside of your skull.”

“If I don’t go to hell when I die I might go to heaven, might go to heaven. But probably not.”

“Just happy times and half assed rhymes and mimes because mimes are dears, but most of all I want no more tears.”

“No more racism. No more discrimination. No more fat dumb fucks keeping people out of our nation.”

“We’re all one big band across this land and we should sing in tune. Let us grow the balls to break the walls, we’ve got to do it soon.”

“And I hope our candles flicker and die so that our hearts don’t burn to the ground.”

“First we were babies, we're birthing and dying. Then we were children, we're playing and crying. And then we're teenagers and smoking and fucking. But now we're all grown up and we're sadly sighing.”

“And your manic depression, it comes and it goes. Your parasympathetic nervous system reacts and you're in fight or flight mode.”

“How's the world so small when the world is so large? And what made the world? Could I please speak to who's in charge? Everything is real but it's also just as fake. From your daughter's birthday party to your grandmother's wake.”

“I've tried to know which words to sing so many times. I tried to know which chord to play and I tried to make it rhyme. And I tried to find the key that all good songs are in. And I tried to find that notes to make that great, resounding din.”

“There's someone in your head waiting to fucking strangle you.”

“I've got essays, I've got finals due. I have got lots and lots of problems.”

“Welcome to this world, have as much fun as you would like while helping others have as much fun as you're having. Be kind to those you love and be kind to those you don't but for God's sake you gotta be kind.”

Can’t Maintain (2009)

“I wanna pick up the pieces and plant them in the ground. When a tree grows there I want to chop that tree down. Build it into a boat and float it in a lake. And with dynamite I will explode the thing that makes me make mistakes.”

“Sometimes I get so lonesome I can't breathe. Sometimes I get so scared that I can't speak. Sometimes I get so worried I can't hear my heartbeat. Anyway…”

“I wanna tear out my heart and give it away to a person more deserving one day. If all I see is the worst in everything that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get, that's all I'm gonna get.”

“And people freak me out. People make me scared. People make me so damn self-aware.”

“I get bronchitis twice a year at least. My lungs aren't the way they should be. And I smoke more than a mother fuckin chimney. I declare war on my body.”

“You will cough up crows that peck my eyes and I will do nothing but go blind.”

“We could live there together or I'll live alone, less happy but I'll live... unfortunately.”

“And no one will know how I truly feel ‘cause I can no longer differentiate between what is fake and what is real. I don't know how I feel.”

“And I will always appreciate bad days like this because they grant me a point of reference in regards to my happiness.”

“If the bridge that I was driving over collapsed while I was driving over it that may not be such a bad thing. I would finally meet my maker, I could meet the great creator, and I'd punch him for teaching me how to sing.”

“Don't know if I believe in god but sometimes I pray because the way I was raised keeps me afraid.”

“I hope I can forgive me for having the nerve to exist. I hope someone can help me make some sense of this.”

“Sense and sensibility and peaceful productivity, a pretty girl with broken wings is all that I desire. But there's so much hostility in all the things surrounding me. The awful glow of enmity is trying to stop my shine. So I try to look inwardly at all the things inside of me but sodomy and buggery keep bubbling to the top.”

“I met you once over the phone, you sounded sad and you seemed alone. You left me but I never left you. I never had the chance to.”

“If you spend all your heart on something that has died you are not alive and that can't be your life.”

Knife Man (2011)

“There's no one to blame. People are just fucking mean.”

“So if I see a penny on the ground, I leave it alone or fucking flip it. I'm a straight white male in America. I've got all the luck I need.”

“I've got a pile of broken mirrors and I'm walking under ladders and I'll spill a ton of salt because to me that doesn't matter.”

“You were dead by the time that I had found you. Your blood was spilled on the couch where we had first kissed. So I carried you west to the sea so I could wash you. Your body felt just like a back pack.”

“I hate whiny, fucking songs like this but I can't afford a therapist. Sorry guys, here's a solo.”

“Some days I feel like I'm the weakest and others the strongest. These days are the longest and I've got the weirdest feeling about this and I wanna go away for a while.”

“I wish I had a bullet big enough to fucking kill the sun. I'm sick of songs about the summer.”

“When you have no one, you are no one. Like I said, I used to work at the people pound. All these no ones clumped together, just like a human lost and found. If they left them all be someones there wouldn't be enough to go around. It's better for us all us if there are no ones. And I knew a lot of no ones round that time. They used to all be someones until something took their life and all their someones disappeared while they're stuck there waiting in a line. And for them now, no one seems to have the time.”

“They say ambition is an enemy of weakness and greatness is an enemy of fame.When I pick up my guitar and I try to write a song, I think of what my mentor used to say… “Who fucking gives a rat's ass Steve, just write a love song. Cus they'll keep your belly full and your wallet lined. Don't bother these nice people with your sad sack songs. If you ask me I think they're just a waste of time.””

“Inspiration is the best friend of my sorrow and sorrow is the best friend of my drink. Well I want to look myself in the eye tomorrow but I'm too worried of what other folk's will think.”

“And the troubles in my heart need to get let out. And the troubles in my heart need to escape. And I never liked writing poetry and I never liked doing pottery and God knows that I never learned to paint. So every now and then, I'll sing sad songs. Cus it keeps my spirit light and my conscience clean. And if you don't care to hear I don't mind if you go out for some air. Cus I'm happy that you're happier than me.”

“So I wish I had a cigarette for every time a perfect stranger asked me for a cigarette but I wonder what a cigarette will really do to help that person out. I wish to God I had some spare change for every time a perfect stranger asked me for some spare change but there's not enough spare change in the world to make such an empty gesture count.”

“You can hope it gets better and you can follow your dreams but hope is for presidents and dreams are for people who are sleeping.”

“You don't have it any better and you don't have it any worse. You're an irreplaceable human soul with your own understanding of what it means to suffer and that’s a huge bummer.”

“I'm afraid of the way I live my life. I'm afraid of the way I don't. I'm afraid of the things that I want to do but I won't. I'm afraid of God. I'm afraid to believe and I'm afraid of all the loved ones that I've made leave. I'm afraid that my dog doesn't love me anymore. I'm afraid of the social laziness that let Kitty Genovese die. And I'm afraid of the mob mentality that makes otherwise normal people go blind. I'm afraid of the way that the world works and I'm afraid of the words in my notebooks. I'm afraid that you all know that I am a pervert.”

“It's harder to be yourself than it is to be anybody else. I wish I were a little less of a coward but the big red bird that lives under the city doesn't give a damn about me and it dies every night. So I bought a knife. I am a knife.”

Rompilation (2012)

“I used to be a spiderman, I used to be a cowboy from hell, but not anymore. Now I'm just a clam and I live inside this shell inside this shell I am. God damn I hate my brain.”

“I'll dip my brain in medicine so that you can stand to be with me.”

“Give me your tired, give me your tired, give me your poor. When our government acts like this, I wonder what World War II was for and the rest of the country hates us more and more. Lady Liberty is not a whore.”

“This is not a protest, it's a tortoise slowly pushing through a race. I hope the tortoise keeps its patience while the hare continues to pepper-spray its face.”

“There is no enemy, there's only people that also love their families and they're scared that they won't have enough long after they are deceased. But how much money do they need? Love turns into fear, and fear turns into greed. There is no enemy, there's only dummies that also love their families.”

“And this is not a phase, it's just a matter of time, with diligence and peacefulness, you will reach them and you will change their minds. If you stay there long enough, they'll start to see you.”

“And when you pushed my face in shit how could that have made you feel like a man or like a monster. It's your fault that I can't tell the difference.”

“In the evening I try songwriting. I'm self loathing, but I love singing. I'll try escaping these evil feelings but they keep coming, they keep coming…”

“So the baby's gonna have a daddy, that's wonderful news. He won't be the greatest parent but neither will you! Gotta get out while you can, otherwise you're screwed. Your legs are broken and your eyes are black and blue.”

“And smoking is like hiring a hitman for five dollars a day, and as cool as that is, I don't wanna keep dying this way.”

Christmas Island (2014)

“Shoot him again ‘cause I can see his soul dancing.”

“If you give it to me I’ll give it back much harder. If you treat me like a son, then I’ll treat you like a daughter. Everyone has a future, everyone has a soul, everyone has a heart, they have a mind, they have control.”

“The Coffin Dancer dances like he has something the prove because he does. He sleeps a couple hours in the morning, hates the morning when he wakes up.”

“The Coffin Dancer dances like he wants to make a friend, but he does not.”

“Getting naked and playing with guns. There's a gerbil in the microwave, a baseball bat in everyone. Sharing kisses and building a bomb. We'll set it off like Microsoft in '94.”

“McDonald's PlayPlace before the Xbox, cake frosting, sweet talking, bedroom wall, covered in knives, touching God, burning shit. We'll make a wish and take a trip to Future Town like our daddy did.”

“Have you ever wanted to be, have you ever wanted to see someone better in the mirror? Have you ever wanted to go, have you ever wanted to know somewhere greener, somewhere cleaner. I bet you got something beautiful in mind.”

“I can’t handle astounding works of beauty. I think I like my pretty pretty ugly but the beautiful soul I witnessed in that movie was an entirely different kind of overwhelming. It was a dog that won’t stop barking. Like a cut that never stops bleeding. Arizona sunsets in the early evening. Or a grown man inconsolably weeping.”

“I am the Kool-Aid stains on the mouth of a kid whose name is most likely Cody. He had a juice box for breakfast and he carries a stick that he most likely found in the alley. Cody doesn't have friends and his parents hate each other and he wants to find a better way to love his family and after school he hangs out in the abandoned house behind the Arby's.”

The Bible 2 (2016)

“Oh, I love you cause I love you cause I can.”

“On your last night at Saint Mary's you were way too intoxicated to breathe. So I used your ribs as ladders and I climbed up on your chest and I jumped up and down just like a trampoline.”

“Confused and rude. Such a special kind of way to be cruel.”

“If I were one of the things, I'd be american garbage. The most beautiful thing. The most beautiful american garbage you have ever seen.”

“No more shame, no more fear, no more dread.”

“And if you don't want to feel the feeling, no one should ever make you feel the feeling.”

“I thought I saw you before I knew who you were.”

“I just wanted to rage but all I got was tired”

“I showed him all the books that I was raised on. Your Madeleine L'Engle(s) and D'Aulaires' Mythologies.”

“And his eyes became a beacon, an LCD projector, broadcasting all my memories in a clear and vivid picture. His tongue became a staircase, his uvula - The knocker of an ornate wooden door that lead me straight into my future. His throat became a hallway with a thousand baby pictures and I became forgiveness, I transformed into the closure that I lost when I learned about the tragedy of all of us. I lost it when I learned about the tragedy of all of us.”

Good Luck Everybody (2019)

“If you don't give it to them they'll starve to death and that's alright.”

“I've got the normalization blues, this isn't normal, this isn't good.”

“I'm detached and I'm distracted, all keyed up but unproductive, vacillating between being all excited and disgusted and then dozing lackadaisically in this bubble where I've made my mental home. Connection's more important now than it ever was, but I'd rather be alone.”

“And when we talk about the president, we're either pissed off or we're giggling about an atrocity he's committing or some stupid shit he's tweeting. He's a symptom and a weapon of the evil men who really run the show. The ones who melt down human beings into money like a cruel Sorcerer's Stone.”

“This is the golden age of dickotry, probably the last golden age of anything, and the ugliest word in the English language is anthropocene. Good luck, everybody. Good luck.”

“But before that, you'll be a doormat, for every vicious narcissist in the world. Oh how they'll screw you, all up and over, then feed you silence for dessert.”

“I'm sorry that you have to have a body, filled with infection, one hundred scabs singing in unison, eyes and hands, sometimes bullets, uninvited, passing through us.”

“Oh to be awake for such a shitty dream. A bullet in the head of every decent thing.”

“The lake of dead black children that America created is getting fuller than the founding Fathers even wanted. The ghost of great America was underestimated and now it rages like a cold sore on the lip of this dumb nation. Again we've slipped inside a pit of absolute despair. That's where we live.”

“Rewarding our worst cruelty, they destroyed our shared reality, and now they upsell us our dignity like some fucked VIP package.”

“There is no absolute, these days there's no such thing as truth and you don't need to be a dick about it.”

“I'm a burnout and a fool, oblivious to all I do. I move my lips when I read and breathe with my mouth open, wide open. Timid, meek, and cruel, this is the best that I can do. I need to speak my truth, yet here I'm broken wide, wide open. My resentment, big and strong, and all the things that I can't change. They'll buckle me beneath the weight. I will drive myself insane with all the things that I can't change. I hate all the things that I can't change.”

“You're a loudmouth and a tool, and as it turns out I am too, and you don't need to be a dick about it.”

“Because I know that you know what I need more than me and I know that you need me more than that.”

“For all the pussies you grab and the children you lock up in prison, for all the rights you roll back and your constant stream of racism, for all the poison you drip in my ear, for all your ugly American fear. I wrote you this beautiful song called Psychic Warfare.”

“I hate you with all of my heart. I hate you with all of my art.”

“I went back to the desert, little Midwest in me, and now I am colder than I used to be. I live in a fortress the shape of my body, and now there's a coldness, and it's shaped like me. Now I don't suffer any more bullshit gladly. Even though everything's bullshit now, here in 2019 and you can bet it's gonna be a bunch of bullshit too out in sweet 2020 or whenever this album's released.”

[bloodbendingbabe]

au where enji gets his quirk taken away shortly before shouto is born. results? the best thing i can see for everyone is divorce.

I didn’t mean to treat this like a prompt, it just wouldn't go away. 

TDLR: I think Enji would have more free time to train Shouto, A.K.A I think he would be worst. But thats not what I ended up writing about because I’m optimistic 💕

CW // alluded abuse/domestic violence, small emotional manipulation with Hawks, Toshi thinks that Enji is going to commit suicide its small but there, ambiguous ending

tiny synopsis: Enji loses his quirk while Rei is pregnant with Shouto, the world reacts with a special appearance by my favorite Number One hero. 

It got a little long so it will probably be crossposted at ao3 ~

The Number Two hero retired at 30 years old, never gave a reason, bruised his way through a press conference, his flames off, and then flickered out of public life. Despite being a high ranking Pro-Hero, people could count on one hand the amount of personal information they knew about Endeavor.

“I think his wife wanted him to retire.” A journalist said as they left the press conference. “I heard she was pregnant. It must have been hard on her. Maybe a villain attack scared her. Imagine being all alone, raising four kids. It couldn’t be me.” 

“You’re speculating.” Her friend said. “Everyone knows that he dropped out because he realized he couldn’t beat All Might.” 

“Being a hero is not about the rankings!” 

“That’s all Endeavor ever cared about. You think he cares about saving people?” Their speculations did not make it into their articles. They focused on actual stories like All Might saving 20 people from a burning building (the perfect job for his former number two) 

There was a little boy with blonde hair and red wings who has to be ripped away from the television where the press conference played over and over, the news reporters speculating more and more ridiculous theories. 

“That’s impossible.” He told his handlers. “Endeavor would never give up! He’s the only one who could even come close!” 

His teacher gripped his tiny chin in her hand and said, “Well, good thing we have you. You’ll fill in where he’s left a gap, isn’t that right my little one?” And Hawks nodded, squared his shoulders, flapped his wings. 

“I’ll be the fastest hero that ever lived.” 

“That’s my boy.” She said.

And then there was a family who walked on eggshells. The Estate was cold and Rei Todoroki tucked Natsuo (her youngest at the time) against her side as he sucked on his thumb. The frost coming off of her was too strong for her other children, but Natsuo reveled in it. 

Fuyumi gripped her older brother’s hand. With his red hair and blue eyes, Touya looked the most like their father, and every time little wisps of blue flames flickered across his fingers, Fuyumi put them out. She’s eight but already knew how to take weight onto herself, knew that flames were the last thing her father wanted to see. 

“It could kill him.” The Commission official told them, didn’t seem to notice the strange chill in the air or the anxiety packed in their little bodies. “He’s been powered by flames his entire life, without it, there is no telling the effects on his body.” 

“He can’t be a hero anymore.” And Natsuo, who had already seen the way his father arrived late from work, how he ignored them, and pressed his hand against his mother’s pregnant stomach, and the way she flinched away from him. Who had seen the way the house tiptoed around each other whenever six months past and their father tore through the training room. He’d seen his oldest brother, who he looked up to, cry as their father tried to push him into something he couldn’t become, his quirk too out of control. And a part of him thought good. His father didn’t deserve to be a hero, anyway.

And then there was a man, sitting in his training room, no char covering the wall. It’s cold. And he sat in the middle of it, his hands bloody from where he ripped them open on the punching bag. His face was wet, sweat, or tears? He’s breathing hard. 

“What are you going to do?” Yagi Toshinori asked. He’s All Might, had been for so long that when people call him Toshinori he flinched. 

He leaned against the wall and watched Enji tear open his hands on his punching back, and now he walked forward and was there when Enji spun around to meet him.

Enji had an ugly sneer across his face, his hands still balled into fists. It’s easy for Toshinori to see that Enji’s entire body would be alight in flames if he could make them. He didn’t budge when Enji shoved at him. That made Enji angrier. “I’ve spoken with U.A” Toshinori kept speaking as if Enji wasn’t glaring up at him. 

“This isn’t something you can fix All Might.” 

“And they’re comfortable with you teaching without your quirk,” Enji yelled, the sound full of anguish and frustration, and Toshinori didn’t even flinch when the other man lashed out, swinging to hit him. Enji didn’t want to be a teacher, had wanted to be the number one hero since he was a small boy and he failed. Had his quirk ripped away, was nothing. 

“Get out!” And there was no one else here. No one else had rushed to be at Enji’s side at the news. All Might was here. All Might’s whole thing was that he would be there when people needed him, Enji never imagined he would be one of those people, didn’t want to be.

“Don’t you have someone to go save?” And that was a valid question. All Might was too busy to build relationships, to worry about his Number Two hero, to care about other people’s troubles. But when he heard the news, he got over to the Estate as fast as he could. Maybe it’s because he knew what it was like to be quirkless, maybe it’s because Enji has been a solid presence underneath him for years and he didn’t know what he’s going to do without the man. Maybe Toshinori just cared about the man and that was stupid. They weren’t friends.  

“What are you going to do?” Toshinori asked again and Enji swung again, All Might didn’t let it connect. He just reached out and gripped Enji by the back of his neck, moved quicker than he should, and pressed him into the wall and Enji struggled in his grip. All Might had always been stronger, faster, better than him and without his quirk, there wasn’t anything that Enji could do, but struggle, curse Toshinori’s name. “I never took my number two as one to give up.” 

And that was unfair. Toshinori had only ever cared about saving innocent people, about being a pillar on which society stood upon. He had only ever treated Enji with a patronizing tone, as if the other man never grew up from being the furious little first year that always wanted to beat him. Yagi always acting amused as if it was a valiant effort on Enji’s part but would never be good enough and standing before Toshinori now, quirkless, defenseless, it made Enji want to scream. 

This was the very last thing he ever wanted to happen to him (didn’t matter if he deserved it, didn’t matter if he had it coming to him with the way he used others to achieve his own power, he didn’t want this to happen to him and it happened anyway). 

“They took my quirk.” He bit out. A bullet right in his side had erased like it never been there at all. And he wasn’t even the initial target. It was a random act of fate that the villains’ first experiment was on the Number Two Hero, and he couldn’t even tell anyone. Couldn’t cause a panic. Toshinori pressed his hand to the wound and Enji struggled to get away. Toshinori was the only person who could ever make him feel small.

“We’ll find them, we’ll fix it.” Enji thought All Might felt guilty because he knew they meant the bullet for him. It wasn’t the first or last time when All Might would not be there, where his booming voice would not appear to save the day. “But don’t give up Todoroki.” And that stung, was far too familiar.

“Don’t call me that,” Enji grumbled, Toshi pushed a little harder on the back of his neck, grip like iron holding Enji in place.  

“Enji,” Toshinori said instead, and that was worse. “Promise me you’ll keep fighting, don’t do something you can’t take back.” The anger that flared through Enji was how he got out of All Might’s hold. Paced in front of the man, wanted to flare up, wanted to destroy, and there was nothing there for him to use.  

“Why do you care? You know nothing about me!” All Might knew about the anger but had never paid more attention beyond that, had just thought his Number Two far too focused on numbers, had never seen the man smile.

“I was a late bloomer.” He said like it mattered. “I know how it feels.” The Number One hero was an idiot. 

“No, you don’t.” And Enji roared, pushing at All Might, had wetness seeping down his cheek. “You get nothing, you don’t understand what I’ve done trying to defeat you, to be better than you.” There are three children in the living room, Rei pregnant with another and he didn’t think any of them would ever be good enough and now that he was quirkless he would be nothing at all. 

In a different universe, sixteen years from now, he would realize he should have never been trying to beat All Might at all. 

“I have to be better.” He told All Might now, in this universe. “They have to be better.”

“Then you have to be patient.” Enji could strangle him. “Let’s work together, let me help you,” Enji saw red, lunged at All Might, wanted to kill him and he just ended up on the ground, All Might’s knee in his back, Toshinori’s hand in his hair. 

“I’m here,” Toshinori said, not in his All Might voice, just saying it so Enji would hear him. “I’m not going away, so fight all you want, get it out.” The Number One Hero was a busy man, always threw too much into his work, had no one he was fighting to live for (yet) and yet a part of him worried that without his quirk that Enji would do something that he would regret, hadn’t hesitated to be here to stop it. “But just let me help you.” And Enji didn’t want his help, Enji hated every second, but no matter how he moved All Might was still there. 

Enji did not deserve him. He deserved to be alone, deserved to be nothing, had fought his entire life, had manipulated and used others trying to get over him and he still ended just like this, under the very man he wanted to defeat and All Might was offering to save him, it left a terrible taste in his mouth. 

“Come on,” Toshinori said. “You’re right I don’t get you, I don’t get why you have to beat me bad, but don’t shut me out.” 

Yagi Toshinori didn’t have many constants in his life, He had a sidekick obsessed with him, an evil villain that was always lurking in the background waiting for him to miss up, an empty lonely apartment, and a number two that hated him, that had always been there despite it. A number two he wanted to support. Other heroes had come and gone but he didn’t want that for Enji, had been comforted more than once at the thought if he was gone, Enji would be strong enough to sustain his world.

“Get off of me.” Enji bit out, angry, so angry, and Toshinori relaxed his hold. He immediately shoved his shoulder back to dislodge Toshinori, rolled to his feet. It was a stand-off. The Number One and former Number Two were stubborn men, selfish men, and the Symbol of Peace had never been told no before. Enji was so angry, there would be steam coming through his nose. There was none now, and it made him livid. It was hard to even form sentences around the red haze in his brain. Tried to speak anyway.

“I can’t,” Blew out a breath of frustration. Without his flames on his face, he’s looked painfully young to Toshinori, his face bare save for a little mustache above his lips. “You don’t know who I am.” He said, thought about Rei and the children, thought about the way she flinched back from him when he entered. “I need time, I don’t,” He didn’t know who he was outside of Endeavor, outside of chasing All Might, didn’t know what to do with all the anger inside of him and no flames to use.

“I know,” Toshinori said, his blue eyes wide as if he was seeing Enji for the very first time, Enji wanted to ruin him, crushed the feeling. “I’ll still be here, I’ll learn with time.”

They both knew that when the world needed All Might he would leave, that he would eventually be too busy to think about a quirkless fallen hero hardly anyone liked. And Enji knew that without Endeavor there was a life he had to fix, wrongs he had to make right, thought fleetingly that he had a son coming who would never meet Endeavor if he never got his quirk back, would only know who his father used to be through stories.

Maybe that would be a good thing.

Toshinori reached out and put his hand on Enji’s shoulder, Enji didn’t shrug him off. He considered it a win.

-

Shouto was six when he burned his bowl in one hand and froze his spoon with another. Enji didn’t kill the flicker of hope in his heart as he watched the fire flare. (He should have, definitely should have).

[straydawg]

when the rain stopped.

summary: killua's tears are the rain that falls. (or, a short fic where killua can't live on with gon dead.)

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

Rain was falling.

You didn't know what moved you to come so far out, only to lay with your back saturated against the cold concrete as the rain washed over your body.  It bruised your face with every shard of ice-like rain. There was something so violent, so excruciatingly heart-rending about the downpour. The sky was thundering in wails of misery. Raindrops surged from the sky, crashing into one another, plunging onto roofs and cars. They held no consideration for where they would land. They only poured down.

It had been like this for hours now.

Your hair was matted and soaked. You reached your hand up to the sky, feeling the pounding rain crush it. Tears, indistinguishable from the rain, streamed down the sides of your face and mingled with the rising puddle beneath you.  'Were those your tears? When had you begun crying?'

You could no longer see the sky above you, as the rain kept falling down with such fervent and passionate intensity you were forced to squeeze your eyes shut. There was no reason to cry or even be there at all, but you could feel the sky mourning.

No.

Someone was grieving.

This had to be a real person. This was desperation, heartbreak, and loss all in one.

A deep cry of thunder lamented around you, so deafening the buildings shook. Perhaps you would drown here- if you didn't die beneath the sheer pressure of the storm first.

Just what happened to cause a thunderstorm charged with this much grief?

The cries turned into whimpers, short bursts of lightning illuminating the black sky.

It was radiant.

With every fluoresce of lightning, you saw another's life flash before your eyes.

"Gon!" He shook the lifeless boy in front of him.

"No no no no NO! Please Gon," Killua screamed, holding Gon to his chest and rocking the both of them.

Tears splashed onto Gon's eyelids, but they weren't his.

"Idiot, wake up! You can't die here. You can't die yet."

"You're meeting your dad for breakfast tomorrow. Mito is planning for you to come back home in the summertime. You're just a kid...we're just kids..."

Killua clung onto him tighter with every word, but Gon fell limp in his arms. He clenched his fist into the dirt, shoving sharp debris underneath his fingernails.

Killua refused to believe it. The person he had spent years adventuring with, the one who had helped him see his worth, the one who had saved him. He couldn't be gone, just like that. No, Gon was not the type to give up, and he would never back down in a fight even if he were outmatched. He would always come out with a smile and a, "hey don't worry about me! We did it, didn't we?"

But not this time.

Killua's sweat was sticking to Gon as he tore himself away to gaze at his friend. The bright moonlight shined on Gon's face, wet with Killua's tears. It was too bright for a night like tonight. He smudged the dirt off the boy's cheeks.

"Gon. Please wake up. D-Don't be so selfish. I.. you're the most precious thing to me. You're my dearest friend. The world.. it can't turn if you aren't there." He sniffed.

A tear escaped from the corner of Gon's eye.

"K..K.."

"Gon!"

"Killua.. thank you..." Gon coughed, cracking open his eyes. "From the day I met you and everyday I've been alive since...I knew I'd never find someone else like you. You made me li-"

Killua couldn't hold back the hailstorm of sobs that wracked his body as he heard Gon's words. He was still alive. He wouldn't let him die.

"Gon, don't talk like this is the end! I'm going to save you," he began scooping up Gon's body, ready to take him somewhere- anywhere that wasn't there.

"Let me finish. I want to hold onto this last moment...with you. Please."

Killua reluctantly set him back down on the dirt, laying him gently against a wall. He never let go of his hand, in fear that Gon would fade away from him in front of his very eyes.

"You made my life worth it. Ging said.. He said to enjoy the little detours in life because those are the moments you treasure the most. You never were just a detour, Killua. You became my purpose," Gon's eyes glistened. His light was fading fast.

Those few words were apparently too much for him, as it sent him into a violent fit of coughing. There was blood oozing out from his mouth. Killua quickly wiped off the redness with his fingers and grabbed onto his friend again.

He held Gon's forehead to his.

"Don't leave me."

No response.

Killua felt an exhale of breath touch his face. He didn't dare move.

After a few moments had passed, Killua found the strength to lay Gon onto the ground, and place his own longsleeve shirt over the boy for warmth.

Gon only wore a tank top. He'd be chilly without it.

Taking some steps back, Killua stared at the boy laying on the floor. Gon looked like he had shrunk, so weak and devoid of life.

There was nothing left in Killua, but a throbbing pain and emptiness.

Falling to his knees, he let out a series of gut-wrenching screams. His sobs filled the night just as much as the stars in the sky did. He beat the floor until his hands were bloodied and mangled, unleashing strikes of lightning to the earth with every devastating blow. Hopefully, the lightning would ruin him too.

What even was the point anymore? There was no longer any light left to illuminate the dark.

Once Killua had bled himself dry of all tears and every emotion there was, he weakly looked upon Gon's form.

Hadn't he said that the world would not turn if Gon wasn't there? But why was it still going? Why was he the only one suffering this cruel loss? Why were there people who were going about their lives right at this very moment, not knowing Gon had just died?

His world could not go on without Gon, smiling him on. Pushing him on. So— he had made his decision.

Memories of all their priceless times together played in Killua's mind like a movie, as if he were experiencing each one of them again for the first time.

The time they first met—

Gon hadn't even questioned Killua's line of work. He had become his first ever friend without a second thought. No one had ever put that much faith in him before.

The time Gon brought him to Whale Island—

Killua had been shocked at Mito's generous hospitality. He had learned what a real home was like, and Gon had asked him to continue travelling with him. It made him feel special, although he had never admitted it out loud before.

The time they began Greed Island together—

He never did tell Gon the real reason he followed him there. It wasn't just to find his dad. Maybe he was embarrassed, or scared too, but the truth was obvious. He loved Gon. That's why he stayed.

The time he saw Gon lying in that stupid hospital bed—

Killua wasn't sure if he felt hurt, angry or betrayed, but the one thing he knew is that he was being torn apart. He was breaking to pieces seeing Gon dying slowly in front of him. He swore he would save him, and he did.

But he couldn't save him today.

Sitting up a little straighter, Killua took a deep breath. Turning his nen against himself, he sent the electricity force of 900,000 volts straight to his heart. Enough to kill a tortured assassin like himself.

Killua fell to the ground next to Gon, and shakily reached for his hand. Once he had made contact, he sighed and closed his eyes.

He hoped and prayed that this would count as Lover's Suicide. Maybe, if the universe cared at all, and if some force out there pitied these tormented children enough— they could have a chance at life together. Souls forever intertwined in the afterlife.

Then the rain stopped.

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

❝ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʜᴀꜱ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ɪᴛꜱ ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ

ᴀɴᴅ ɴᴏᴡ ɪꜱ ᴡᴀɴᴅᴇʀɪɴɢ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴇᴛᴇʀɴᴀʟʟʏ

ᴀʟᴏɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ

ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴜɴᴀʙʟᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀʏ ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ ᴏʀ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴏɴ

ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴅ ᴛᴇᴀʀꜱ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜰᴀʟʟ

ꜰʀᴇᴇᴢᴇ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴋʏ

ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴘʀᴇᴛᴇɴᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴋɪɴᴅ

ᴀɴᴅ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ᴛʜᴇʏ ꜰᴀʟʟ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ᴍʏ ꜰᴀᴄᴇ

ᴛᴡᴏ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴛᴏɢᴇᴛʜᴇʀ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛᴏʀɴ ᴀᴘᴀʀᴛ

ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪꜱ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ❞

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡

author's notes: hello! i'm new to tumblr and hoping to improve my writing here and make new friends! :) this blog will be multifandom, (bsd, hxh, aot, etc.)

requests are open!

[sunflowersunshinevol6]

My Way

Chapter Two

Warnings: mentions of violence, phobia, mentions of child neglect, mentions of substance abuse, kidnapping

Harry pulled off onto a dirt road, the sky was crimson and orange as the sun went down. It had been three days since the gas station, three days of constant driving. And while she had managed to grasp sleep here and there, Harry drove on. She didn't know how he stayed awake, but he had managed.

Clara felt her anxieties clawing at her, ready to drag her beneath the surface, she was filthy, her hair, oily and greasy, it smelled like sweat. Her teeth hadn't been brushed and she could feel the germs, literally smell the overall, overwhelming stench of her body. She was disgusting.

Harry parked in a wooded area, back away from the road. Clara looked at him wearily as he unbuckled and hopped out of the van. She watched him trudge around to her door and throw it open.

“Get out. Come on.” Clara fumbled with her seat belt, moving as quickly as she could, but not quick enough for him. He grabbed her hand and yanked her from the seat, she stumbled, but he caught her with ease, setting her steady on her feet.

“Y-you said you wouldn't hurt me.” Clara whimpered. She backed away, as he opened the back sliding door. He hopped up into the van, turning to look at her.

"No. We're gonna sleep. C’mere.” He knelt, extending his hands out. Clara peaked around him to see a dirty old mattress covered in rumpled blankets and sheets. A tingling sensation made it's way up her spine, as her anxiety wrapped it's ugly hands around her throat. She began to hyperventilate.

“Clara?” Harry asked, concern lacing his words. He jumped down and came to her. Unsure of what else to do, he took her hands in his. His nails were dirty. She screams internally, unused to touch by others. “Clara look at me. Breathe. What's wrong?” he placed a hand on her cheek, making her stomach lurch. She couldn't shake it off. “Look at me.” He said again, she tilted her head to look at his face. He was breathing in an exaggerated fashion, trying to help her. And as cheesy as she always thought that was, she found it endearing now.

They hadn't been this close before, and as she tried to slow down her breathing she studied him. Really studied him for the first time.

He didn't have his cap on and she saw he had thick brown,curly hair, it fell down over his eyebrows and curled below his ears. freckles on his face seemed to dance in the fading sunlight. Tattoos covering his neck in black ink, down his chest and over his arms. She wondered just how many he had. as her breathing steadied, she stared at him in awe. He was kinda…..beautiful.

“You ok?” he asked, stepping back, giving her her space again. She shook her head.

“I can't sleep on that.” She mumbled, blush rising to her cheeks.

“what?” he glanced back, “why not?”

“Germs. A-and…..”

“And?”

“I've never slept with a man before….” He raised an eyebrow, she didn't explain what she meant.

“Okay,” he said annoyed, dragging a hand over his face. “you're like, the worst hostage ever,” he chuckled.

“I'm still a hostage?”

“What else would you be?” She shrugged.

“I don't know…..just doesn't feel like a hostage situation anymore.” It hadn't since the first day. They spent hours at a time cooped up together in the car. They weren't friends, but they weren't enemies either. It was a weird in between.

“Let's get something straight.” Harry stepped back up to her, he crowded her space, making her feel small. “You're not free. Not yet. My family says you can go I'll take you home. You try to run, and I will hurt you Clara,” his voice was low, his eyes serious, “and don't get me wrong. You're all right. You seem like a good kid. So don't give me a reason to hurt you. I don't want to.”

“I-Im sorry,” she whimpered. “I guess I got used to-”

“Don't get used to me. This situation is temporary. You'll be back in your cushy old life soon enough.” He turned, slamming the van door shut. “Get in.” He was in a bad mood.

“Where are we going?”

“The laundromat.”

--------------------------

The ride is quiet. Clara can feel the tension rolling off of Harry. She didn't know what exactly set him off, maybe her anxiety about germs? Whatever it was, she couldn't blame him. She knew she was a handful.

The parking lot is empty, save for Harry's van and one other car, a little further down the way. The fluorescent bright lights shine brightly from within the building. Harry reaches behind his seat, pulling two baseball caps out, and hands one to Clara.

“Put this on. Keep your head down and don't tell anyone who you are.

Understand?” She nodded. He tugged the cap over his head and opened the door. Clara followed suit, watching him yank open the rear door and start pulling out the blankets and sheets. He stopped, looking over his shoulder. “You gonna help?” he asked.

As much as she didn't want to make him mad, she couldn't do it, “no.” She said quietly.  Harry just huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Such a fucking princess.” The words stung. There were a thousand other reasons she should be crying at this moment in time, but instead she's hurt and on the verge of tears cuz he thinks she's some spoiled brat. “Can you at least open the door for me?” She turns without a word to hold the door for him

It's quiet, except for the machines and a tv that's playing the news. Great. Clara thought. She went to the bathroom and grabbed some paper towels, taking them with her towards the table she had first seen, while Harry loads the blankets and sheets. She wiped down the table meticulously, making sure to catch, what looked like a soda stain, that had been left there.

Harry fell into the chair across from her. She could tell he was completely exhausted, and this made her feel bad. Why couldn't she be normal? That was all she wanted. Nothing else. Just to be normal, and not have people look at her like she was a freak.

“Mysophobia.” Clara said suddenly. Harry grunted, his eyes were closed, head in hand, but he acknowledged her.

“What's that?” he asked.

“Fear of germs basically….When I was a kid my dad died, and my mom started abusing pain medication as a way to cope. Instead of taking care of me she laid on the couch a lot or in bed, high as a kite. The house was always dirty, flies and gnats were everywhere and mice poop was all over the place too. It was really dirty and disgusting.” She takes a quick glance to see Harry looking at her with tired eyes. “The school reported my mom to children services, I got taken away while she went to rehab. I stayed with my best friend and his family for a little while. Until my mom got better….That’s when she met Marcus, he's a great guy, and he really helped her. By that time I had already started going to therapy for my anxieties and he was very supportive. He’s a good guy. I kept everything under control until my senior year of high school….” She trailed off, lost in thought, no longer caring if he was paying attention. She just needed to tell someone. Someone other than her psychobabble shrink. “I’d never been in a relationship, so when I met Leah I really fell for her. Hard….I had always considered myself straight, until I met her, she changed everything for me, and we loved each other a lot. She helped me tell my mom I was Bi. She didn't care that I was a clean freak. She saw me for me and she loved every bit of me.” Clara smiled, thinking of her former girlfriend fondly. Leah had been so beautiful, and strong and brave, everything she wasn't. “She brought something out of me, I didn't even know was there, she helped me become outgoing and confident. I felt like I could conquer the world, with her by my side….but then...Alex Collins came to our school.” She closed her eyes and shuddered, even his name still gave her chills. “He latched onto me right away, and had tried very hard to get me to break up with Leah to be with him. He started stalking me and wouldn't leave either of us alone...he didn't stop, it continued all the way up through senior year,” Clara felt a lump in her throat, it was growing, and she had to blink back her tears, “he killed her. He killed Leah. Shot her right in front of everybody.” She couldn't keep the tears from falling now. “he just walked up as we were entering the school, put the gun to her head and pulled the trigger….I….I was standing right next to her, her blood was all over everywhere. And he looked me in the eyes and said ‘you did this. This is your fault.’....he still hasn't been caught. He's been on the run for two years. And I….i've been even more messed up, ever since….”  Clara finished quickly, not sure if he was even listening anymore. Just to be able to talk made her feel a new sense of relief.

“Why are you telling me this?” Harry's voice isn't annoyed or angry. There is sympathy layered beneath his words, so Clara looked up. Harry's face was blank, he stared at his hands in his lap.

“I just didn't want you to really believe I'm a spoiled Princess….Im the furthest thing from it.”

“My opinion shouldn't matter to you.”

“But you're the only one in a hundred mile radius I know. So it does.”

“Jesus Clara, you don't know me.” She flinched at the way he snapped. I am your captor,” he whispered the word. “This isn't a vacation. I'm not your friend and I don't need to hear your life story.”

“B-but I thought-”

“Whatever you thought is wrong. Look,” he leaned forward. “I'll do what I can to to keep my family from killing you, but whatever they decide I have to do. And as fucked up as your life has been you couldn't handle mine for a minute, You don't have the stomach for it. This isn't destiny or fate it's a temporary crossing of paths. So don't trust me. Don't get used to me. Just don't. Just keep your head down and mouth shut.” Clara was on the verge of tears again.

“But the sheets-”

“If washing some fucking sheets, keeps you compliant I'll do it. Nothing more.” He stood, wiping his hands on his pants. “Don't mistake me for a good guy. I'm not.” Clara sniffed, unable to stop the tears. Harry sighed, annoyance subsiding, he ran his hand through his hair. “I'm going to the bathroom. Don't move.”

Clara sat in stunned silence for a moment, truly processing the last three days for the first time. Harry was only being nice to keep her docile. Keep her from trying to run or find help. He only conversed with her in the van when she initiated conversation, meaning he really didn't care, probably didn't even like her as a person. She must be one fucked up girl if even an admitted serial killer didn't like her.

She looked towards the bathroom, if she was that much of an inconvenience to him she would just leave then. She flung the hat off her head and walked to the door without a second thought about it.

She had no idea where she was. It was dark out now, the sun long gone and a cool wind was blowing, leaving goose bumps on her arms. She shivered slightly, taking a deep breath and trying not to panic.

“Okay,” she muttered, “Look for help. A police man, mom with kids, anybody.” She scanned the street to see it mostly empty, most people were inside the shops and restaurants, escaping the first chills of autumn. Clara decided to walk towards a Subway down the road, passing by the same alley of the laundromat and the building beside it.

“Hello pretty.” before she could even get halfway down the sidewalk, arms burst forward from the dark alley, one dirty, smelly hand clamped over her mouth, the other wrapped around her waist, dragging her further back into the darkness. “You're mine,” a ragged voice chuckled against her ear. Clara gagged as alcohol and cigarette breath wafted into her face. Panic seized her as she was drug further into the darkness of the alley.

[missjoker96]

This is another piece, written for my beloved friend @arthurflecksgirl because she deserves to be happy and loved.😘

The girl can be every female reader again.

Warning: This piece has nothing to do with my other written stories!! It's an own chapter and it came into my mind earlier. It also reminds on the subway scene, but it's my own written piece.

Enjoy it :)

What For A Cruel World

It was a cool evening in Gotham City as you left your work to go home.

You were alone, because your boyfriend was at home and waited for you to come home and kiss your lips hungrily.

He loved to threat you like his princess, because you were the only one who understand him, take care of him and love him. Other people would only insult him, beat him, kick him to the ground and call him a freak.

Maybe he was a freak, but then you both were two freaks in a cruel world full of hater and criminal people.

Whatever.

You walked to the subway station and waited until the subway arrived. Your heart was racing, because you were alone and not many people were around. A few minutes have passed and the subway arrived.

You got inside and sat down on a single seat and you felt a little safer, but your luck was over as you suddenly hear male voices. You try to ignore them, but it was impossible.

It was new for you that people stared at you in public places and even talk to you and suddenly you remember that you forgot to put your clown make up off.

"Fuck, I totally forgot to put my clown make up off.." You spoke to yourself in a whisper and a cold shiver ran down your back. You hoped that they would let you in peace, because you have nothing done wrong.

There was only a friendly and happy clown girl who wanted her peace.

One of the guys stepped closer and shouted.

"Hey clown! What's up?"

You didn't look at him and tried to ignore them all, but the next one asked his question and this one wasn't polite anymore.

"My friend just asked you something, clown! Better you answer him before I punch into your face."

You were scared and didn't know what to do. You couldn't escape them, because they were three big guys and probably clown haters. Always clowns! Why did they hate clowns? They are there to bring laugh and joy to unhappy faces.

And you were a friendly and happy clown. At least your face told that you look happy. The only part that was missing was your red clown nose, because you already took it off once you left your work. The clown nose made you to a clown and sometimes it was very uncomfortable to wear, because you were not only a nurse. Being a clown doctor made you happy, because you have seen it already in your boyfriend who works as party clown.

He was your idol.

Back to reality...

You began to sweat and you only wished that these guys would let you in peace, but they were looking at you with their annoyed and angered faces.

"I.. I am about to drive home from my work. What do you all want from me?"

You were scared and you looked into the eyes of all three men. One of them began to laugh and touched your hair, because he found you sweet and shy. The second one noticed the red clown nose in your bag and took it out, because he wanted to put it on your own nose. The third man clapped into his hands and spoke to his friend.

"Put her the clown nose on. A clown is only a clown with a red nose, right?"

They were right, but had no idea that you didn't want to wear it anymore. It hurt you within the time and to wear it a whole day, hurt really on your nose. And you never thought about paint a red nose, but this would be the next step in your future as clown doctor.

Children loved clown noses more on clowns, than a painted one. You have seen it yourself and right now you only had two choices.

Put your clown nose on or see the consequences.

Of course you decided to put it on and you grabbed the nose from your bag and after a moment you were the perfect clown again.

"The clown is complete. Is there anything else I can do before I leave the subway? The next station is mine." You looked at them and grabbed your stuff already, because you were ready to leave.

You thought they would let you in peace after you did what they wanted from you, but the fun just began as one of the guys stole your bag and threw it out of his sight. The next guy began to laugh at you and the third began to sing a song about clowns.

You felt how hot tears appear on your eyes and you ran to your bag with your stuff and fell to the ground, because the subway arrived your station. Good that you are a girl, because if you were a man then they would have probably kicked you to the ground. The subway soon stopped and you took your bag in your hand again, but you fell to the ground and all three men laughed.

"Stupid clown!!"

Insults. Clown haters everywhere and you left the subway half crying and ran away. Not many people were around and you didn't care a lot, because you were deeply hurt. Now you understood why people hate clowns and you wanted to know why.

"Look, a lost clown! Can we help you?"

A group of young people were looking at you and you didn't want to talk to them. You were a sad clown now and your make up was a mess of colours and you wore your clown nose.

"I don't need help." You said and stopped to run, because you were already away from the subway station. The next few streets and you would be at home again where your beloved Arthur waited for you. He would save your evening with his lips, his gentle hands and his warm body to keep you warm the whole night.

"Of course not, freak! Leave before we teach you a lection."

Your heart raced again as your ears heard this and you started to run again. What kind of nightmare was this? And why was Gotham such a cruel city beside the dirt and the rat plague? It definetely couldn't continue like this.

You kept on running until you arrived the building where you lived with your boyfriend. After you stepped inside, you waited for the elevator and saw the pictures in your minds again. The pictures of your horrible trip from your work to your home. And it only happened, because you were dressed as a friendly and happy clown.

Once you were in the elevator, you pushed the button to your floor and kicked your foot against the old thing. Anger grew inside of you beside your tears and your faked happy face. You didn't care if your make up was a mess, because you would get rid of it once you were in the bathroom.

The elevator reached your floor.

You stepped outside and went to Appartement 8J.

Instead of knocking at the door, you banged your head against the door. Arthur opened the door and looked shocked at your face expression.

"Oh my god, (your name). What happened to you?"

He took you into his arms and closed the door to check what happened to you. You could see his green eyes, his shocked face and you sank into his arms before you began to speak.

"I hate people. You know me that I am a very shy girl around random people, but just because I am a clown they thought they could hurt me with insults, laughing at me and force me to put my clown nose on. I can't take this anymore, Arthur."

You cried your tears out of your eyes and you smeared your ruined make up on Arthur's face, but he didn't care and stroked your hair gently with his fingers. All you wanted was to be friendly, but to get insulted was enough to hurt you. But Arthur understood you very well.

"They should be glad that I wasn't with you, because then I would have showed them what real fun is. Come, (your name). We will clean the make up from your face and then let me kiss the pain away from you."

He couldn't await the kiss and placed his soft lips upon yours. The clown nose of you was in the way and Arthur giggled before he removed it from your nose. You felt safe in his arms and closed your eyes for a moment, because you needed this affection and love from your boyfriend.

And your voice sounded so sweet as ever before.

"But a clown is only a clown with his red nose on, right sweetheart?"

You looked into his eyes again and he placed his warm hands on your cheeks. A warm smile appeared on his handsome face and he spoke to you with sweet words.

"My sweet, (your name).. Yes, a clown's mark is the red nose. And he wouldn't be the perfect clown without it, but you are the cutest and prettiest clown I've ever seen. Let me remove your make up now."

Arthur's words made you happy and you took the clown nose and put it on his nose. A giggle escaped from your painted lips and you kissed his lips deeply. He repeated your kiss and whispered into your ears.

"I love you so much, (your name)."

You wrapped your arms around Arthur's neck and repeated his words.

"I love you too, Arthur. We both are clowns and we will show it these clown haters."

Arthur looked at you with an evil smirk on his face and took you on his arms. He agreed with you and took you into the bathroom, because he wanted to share a nice and romantic bath with you.

"Yes, we will show them that clowns can fight back in their own funny way. We can defend ourselves better than our enemies can."

You laughed and were so glad that your beloved Arthur was a clown too, like you. And you could thank him to be a clown. He showed you how to practise being a funny clown before you started a second job as clown doctor.

First you were afraid, but now you loved it and the most important thing was that your boyfriend loved your skills as funny clown doctor and he knew that you would make it in your role as clown...

(I wrote this piece, because I knew that you were so sad and hurt the last days and had to write something to make you feel better again. I hope you feel a little better now my dear.♡♡♡)

#Fanfiction #Clowns #ArthurFleck

[lost-in-your-own-thoughts]

Girl of Glass

In a world where the people would be made of sticks and stones armed with steely knives and words that slither and stay,

She was made only of glass, covered in a thin layer of paper and tape.

See it held her together in a world where sticks and stones broke your souls, and our mouths were caverns that should have never been explored, but out to be silent in the black mist as they set fire and burn to ash our little paper walls, oh we could wish that our bodies were far humbler Halls, and instead of trauma and despair held love and a body still left untouched and not scared.

Because those steely knives, those rods of steel, they stay and play at night, where nobody will hear the tears. Because they pray and bite at your mind until you become numb or shattered and nothing but the hollow shell of someone who you used to know. Unknown to be true, can't seem to believe that the words "I love you" can be true.

Say "I'm fine" and laugh, but really your cracked, "I'm tired" and smile, though the real one hasn't shown in awhile.

In the end she was nothing but a frame to be used by paper mache, and a vase that knew way too much for her age.

And change and change and change she did, because no matter how she looked or acted or how things changed, she was so young, so her mind thinks that its the calm before the wave. Cuz if she got a little too happy the things that once held her fragile hands would be the same to scrape and scratch at her newly polished glass, and quiet she was, but her mind was too loud, filled with the blood they made her bleed out.

Because she was betrayed at a young age, thrown in the battlefield before she made it to the first grade, learned how to survive in a world where you need to know if someone was bullshitting you because that could be your life or your reputation.

Learned that sometimes men are immature, and women are not always to be trusted, that family can even lie and betray, oh the child's mind should have been left alone, didn't you know,

Children are supposed to believe in fairy tales...

Went back and forth from a home to a pit of nothing but agony and dispair, the homes were different, not just in acts but looks I swear any sane person would have seen right through it in a minute.

From a home where responsibility was key and the house was clean and mom had you surrounded by who you considered your real family and fun, to a house held by a father who didn't work nor pay bills, dove into alcohol and drugs, and lived in a pit of filth with his mother and father who seemed to condone it still.

A man who slept in nothing but boxers with his children, they were old enough to bathe on their own but father's mother couldn't get the picture. He seemed to not care about his daughter and more about his son, then contradict it all by calling him a after teaching him it was ok and fun.

We were only kids, but mistreated by him, so much so we don't remember most of the things he did.

It's been 6 years now, since they've last seen him. But still his picture would be a horrific thing to the victim.

From young the girl made of glass learned to thicken her core, she didn't want to feel like that anymore.

But the girl made of glass went through more than just that,

Their was a house fire that had her move far, to a place unknown,

Leave the ones she called friends and say goodbye, she moved to a new neighborhood and looked out the window as they arrived.

That was her second year of second grade.

The girl made of glass, found new friends in the third grade, though when things got ugly, they proved they weren't real anyway.

"your a girl you can't do that" staff told her when she wanted to play sports, not like she cared, she did way she wanted to, to stay happy and sane since she was still dealing with back and forth shit, and her father had a dog he beat with his cane.

Fourth grade was hard as she lost most of her friends, started pulling her hair out another coping mechanism, because distract and distract her mind she did, ignoring all her pain till she couldn't feel it. Was the last year she saw or heard from her father, that was good news at last.

Fifth grade came by, all the kids hated her, teachers too, but let's not go there. It's when she started to isolate and keep to herself, but boys loved her misery and dragged her into the boys bathroom, crying she was no longer unscratched glass on a shelf.

The first guy she liked played with her emotions to get what he wanted, said if she didn't touch him or let him touch her he'd leave her, truth be told he was the only actual white boy she knew, said he was from Texas had and older brother and a younger sister she adored, made quite the impression, though their relationship never went far. It was on and off and he even cheated on her with a guy, same one tried to screw her on the bus during senior trip, but lol she wasn't having it.

They called her "white chocolate" at school because for her ethnicity she was pale as paper with chocolate hair and eyes, She didn't know much but apparently you're not Hispanic if you can't speak Spanish.

The kids in the middle and high school that were also in the building tended to look over the stalls in the restroom and make fun of her, and the girl with glass afraid to use public restrooms after that.

The girl made of glass had long chocolate hair, that was until the fights were no longer fair. It was groups of girls that jumped her, and not only the girls, but then she cut her long hair short so she wouldn't be thrown against a brick wall again like a raggedy Ann. The fights still persisted, and she was the only one not winning and getting into trouble at the school.

She cried and cried and cried so many tears. "You only have to push it out for the rest of this year. Then it'll be a new school new you."

She held on to that till she made it out of 5th grade, little did she know 6th grade was almost close to the same.

But the boys were more "respectful" she could say, they all hated her and called her ugly and one beat her with a bat. But those hands she had were for healing and not for beating people so she couldn't even fight back.

Too many kids from elementary school were there, I guess you can say at least the kids kept it verbal for the most part. She told the staff but nothing was done, treated like a desease and they made fun of her and called her things like "ebola" or skinny freak" that's how she met her group of friends, who stood up for each other, I guess.

By 7th grade the whole ebola thing was off but she could still sense that nobody wanted anything to do with her so she kept to herself. She made herself busy, to forget her pain, she was in a band where she put her emotions and pain into the music, because it was her blood.

We aren't even going to talk about her relationships in this year. But there was I believe, one.

He was good for the most part but because of her past after she collapsed in the middle of the street he didn't help her and stood with his friends and laughed, she didn't want it anymore because the one to help her was her best friend.

Year 8. The year of the seniors. Let's just say it got so bad, police were involved, she dated her best friend but he broke her heart, dated someone else who she in turn broke their heart, and then dated another who left her for a friend. Though it's not like she blames them. She was starting to hate herself more in the end. She's stopped too many suicide attempts and was bullied on end, the school had to change her class and thing finally started to smooth out but she felt like the only one in a crowded room. She was loved by the teachers and the friends that stayed, but she was lost for her own self love.

She avoided going to the nurse because grades were everything. "Your worth nothing if you don't have anything to prove your worth" her mind taunted.

She was sent to guidence, but they are idiots because it's not like they could really help anything. she was way too good a faking till her mask came off at night.

Then one fateful evening, her father messages her and she feels like the breath was stolen from her lungs as flashes of periods she can't even remember went through her mind and she had to excuse herself to calm down and once she did she blocked him.

9th grade. She had only dated Hispanics up until this point minuses the non-binary pal she was with for a short period of time.

She makes new friends but is careful. Her mind doesn't believe that anything stays good for long.

She dated this boy who was a actor and dark skinned, like sweet caramel mixed with chocolate with light blue curly hair. He was a weeb, charming, nice. Though, he kind of smelled like blood and was just as cracked as her, if not more.

They said "I love you" but his was a lie. She was not only second girl but he also cheated on her and the first girl with a guy. And he bragged to her friends about the girls he saw when he was admitted to a mental hospital. When she gave up her time to visit him and show dedication but it just seemed like it didn't matter. Because he broke her heart the second time. He was her second time saying the words "I love you" and she ment it, the first was the best friend that she dated that she no longer spoke to.

It didn't matter she blamed herself for trusting him.

She then she met a new guy a couple months later. They couldn't see each other in person and the cronavirus pandemic happened so it's not like that made it any easier so they were on FaceTime a lot. He makes this girl of glass feel like her cracks and everything about her is good. He makes her feel normal, is patient and sweet. He's funny and smart. And looks at both sides of the story before jumping to any conclusions. And he was a healthy mix of immature and mature that made her smile and laugh and also taught her things.

So maybe, in a world where she was a girl made of glass, she was unique and she couldn't see it yet.

(the video isn't mine)