#he wants her to step on him so bad
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all i'm saying is that he got real happy and obedient when mina smacked him
#he wants her to step on him so bad#i bet he acts up on purpose just to get her to discipline him#but y'all didn't hear that from me#his stubborn ass became real agreeable real quick hmmm#don't you think?#HMMMMMM?#submisive and breedable#what?#who said that?#y'all said it#not me#hoshina soshiro#soshiro hoshina#mina ashiro#ashiro mina#hoshimina#kaiju no. 8#kn8
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Furina: Anyone I've ever worked with probably couldn't wait to get rid of me... Since I'm just an ordinary person now. They'll probably just laugh in my face if I go asking them for help... :(
Neuvillette, the second Furina asks him about booking the Opera Epiclese, the process for which is notably cumbersome and complex: Yes, I will take care of it immediately. Btw does this mean you will allow audiences (myself included) to enjoy your outstanding acting talents once more? 🥺
#furina#neuvillette#genshin 4.2 spoilers#genshin spoilers#genshin 4.2#genshin impact#he is so horrendously pathetically down bad for her#i want to put clown make-up on him and beat him up in a parking lot#MY MAN#YOU ARE ONE STEP AWAY FROM SERENADING AT HER WINDOW#so yeah i played furina's story quest#her 1st story quest was kinda depressing#but also hopeful#we still have her presumed 2nd story quest for the 2nd weekly boss of Fontaine#maybe this one will have an all-around happier note#building on the hopeful end of her 1st one#i just want furina to be happy :')#focallette#neuvifuri
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Thinking about the CFAU and marveling at how much Danny and Jason care for one another. Does anybody else figure out that Danny is going to kill the Joker, or is that knowledge Jason exclusive? I can't see Danny being close enough to any other Batfam member to disclose his plans, but I wonder if he drops hints. They're a family of paranoid detectives. I'd be surprised if they don't figure out Danny has a PURPOSE for being in Gotham at some point. Whether Danny's able to disguise it as wanting to be closer to Jason or not is another burning question.
Its def Red Hood exclusive! You're right in that Danny isn't close enough to disclose his revenge plot to any of the batfam members -- hell, not even Sam and Tucker know his true motives for returning to Gotham, and they're his best friends right after Jason! And Red Hood knows only because Danny accidentally slipped up ;].
I do also think that the Waynes kinda think something might be up with Danny -- at least Dick and/or Bruce might since they're the only ones who actually know him beyond brief mentions of him. Tim knows about him due to his stalking, but doesn't really know him -- and Danny plans to keep a healthy, friendly distance from the family so he can carry out his plans.
It's not that he holds any dislike towards them -- quite the opposite. He appreciates what they do for Gotham and recognizes the hard work that goes into keeping their Rogues Gallery at bay (even if he is bitter about Joker, but there's an obvious reason for that) -- but, well. He knows they're the vigilantes, he doesn't want to risk them sniffing out his murder plot before he can even go through with it.
Luckily for him he can excuse any distance he puts between them as just being busy with life and trying to settle in, and they're not close enough to him anymore to find it suspicious. I do think they figure out he's back in Gotham for a reason, Danny's not going to exactly hide the fact that he's back to find some kind of closure -- but what that closure is?
I think the only person who might suspect something sinister going on would be Bruce, who saw the sinking rage in Danny's eyes at the funeral -- it was part of the reason he didn't tell him who killed Jason (beyond secret identity reasons). But that depends on whether or not Danny reveals some of his hand, and the fact that he was still holding onto that rage (somewhat unwillingly) all this time.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#cfau#childhood friends au#cfau danny#dpxdc crossover#danny's kept this deep-seeded hatred close to his chest for years. he's so close to his goal he's more careful than ever. he's under the#watchful eyes of his home city and the even more watchful eyes of her knights. he can't make any mistakes here -- not after the last one#with red hood. every step he takes going forward must be a cautious one so he doesn't draw the light of the batsignal.#also! funnily enough danny doesn't blame bruce for jason's death. sure they had a fight but he's not the one who sold him out to the joker#he's not the one who beat him to death. who blew him up. he's bitter over the fact that bruce withheld the identity of his murderer from hi#but even he can recognize the need to protect one's secret identity so he doesn't hold it against him that much. he's bitter over the lack#of action against the joker but that's a personal vendetta and again he recognizes how hard it is to be a hero. he would never ask bruce to#kill the Joker. he recognizes the fact that a hero cannot play judge jury or executioner and he respects Bruce's adherence to his moral cod#he knows it must be hard and he agrees that batman shouldn't kill. ever. bc if the batman kills the joker what's stopping him from killing#the common criminal? its a level of self-restraint and self-awareness that all heroes must have. and he genuinely respects bruce for it#if someone wants the joker dead that bad they can go and do the deed themself -- that's what HE'S doing. danny recognizes that his revenge#is wholly selfish in nature. it is closure for him and jason and him and jason only. its not good its not righteous its murder and danny#has come to terms with it.
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hm. idk, maybe the reason Luke Newton isn't announcing new projects or posting any Bridgerton content is because some of you demons treated him like hot trash instead of a creative that you wanted more work from and he decided fuck it, this isn't worth the stress. you know, like a lot of creatives who get mistreated do?
like this is a man who went from couch surfing in a friend's house and bartending to make ends meet, deciding that the Bridgerton audition was the last one he'd do before he quit, to suddenly being recognized on the street because that last audition propelled him to star in a global show where fans who have zero media comprehension blamed him for his character's actions and literally stalked him at any hotel he happens to stay at. he went from being a dude doing musical theatre and shopping at thrift stores and recording random songs with friends and posting silly memes on Twitter to being harassed on his only social media page and his friends insulted and his partners bullied by his supposed 'fans' and anything he posts being so microanalyzed that he can't do a damn thing without someone coming out the woodwork screaming about how he's the WORST and won't he think of the FANS!?
like damn he can't have a girlfriend without being harassed, he can't travel without being harassed, he can't like or not like social media posts without being harassed, he can't post a fucking MEME without being harassed, he can't take a vacation or cut his hair or hold someone's hand or just live his life without being blamed for some bullshit or another. but yeah, okay, 'when will Luke Newton come back?' as if it isn't your fault he's AWOL now
#luke newton#colin bridgerton#polin#lukola#bridgerton#bridgerton has a bullying problem- from kanthony fans to benophie (i see y'all with your anti blogs and your mean opinions) to polin#y'all lukolas say you're fans but most of you are the ones microanalyzing and feeling entitlement to this dude#and you know what?#jakola#because y'all straight up sip the hateraid and lbsr rn and call a spade a spade: you don't know this jack (jake? idk and idc) dude#you don't care about his achievements and aren't fans of his 'work'#you just want your stand-in avatar nic to have male attention as if male validation is the end all be all of a woman's success#and you see luke as the stand in for all the men who hurt you in the past but like he is literally not doing anything and y'all will be mad#and project that he somehow hurt nic as well by 'rejecting' her for his girlfriend who you hate because lbr she's conventionally attractive#when NICOLA Is conventionally attractive TOO ffs#how dare y'all make me step up to bat for a white man this way#leave him alone#aren't you exhausted?#'he didn't like xyz social media post and his girlfriend gives me the ick and he's not posting and appeasing me and blahblahblah' shut up#like y'all shut down at someone so much as raising their voice at you or posting some mild criticism for your bad takes#but you expect a man who has openly revealed his ADHD and anxiety to be the punching bag for all your vitriol#because he's not living his life in a way YOU approve of? like who are YOU to dictate how someone does and does not exist on this earth?#do some soul searching#do i love Luke's acting and want more of it and for him to star in everything i wanna watch? of course#but rn i'm gently cradling his face going 'baby you should RUN' because y'all are the PITS#YOU are the problem#one day y'all will realize that
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sorry if idk this but what do you think about Wordgirl now in 2024 do you still like it do you still want to make art or talk about it or are you just done with all of it forever and plus i seen that you haven't made art of it since 2022 so you just done with all of it oh yeah and what about The Magnus Archives + Wordgirl ao3 fic too like is that just going to be and i know that your working on 2 au's now just wanting to know that's all
My interests tend to come in intense bursts and then fade. Unless something like, big happens like it gets a reboot its unlikely I'll be coming back to it anytime soon. As for the fic I don't have any current plans to finish it unfortunately.
#Its so shocking whenever anybody mentions that fic to me#like its just such a specific combo of interests how are there this many people interested in it...#I have some fragments of unfinished chapters for it laying around but I was struggling to get them to work#and I definitely dont have the motivation to finish them now#If youre curious the chapters were going to be Slaughter avatar miss Power and Web avatar Mr Big#and possibly Flesh avatar Butcher but I never got around to starting that one#The Miss Power chapter was basically going to be about her having kind of lost her thread#I wanted to leave a lot of ambiguity as to what happened with her home planet#but she hadnt been in contact with them for agessssss and her radio is damaged and her ship is in bad shape#the chapter was just going to be her being like 'pfff I dont interpersonal connection Im doing great out here. Murdering. All on my own'#Well she has her little squirl thing but she treats him like an animal#mr giggle cheeks or whatever#anyway I wanted it to imply that whatever happened her bloodthirst was destroying her#The Mr Big chapter was from Lesley's perspective#She would have been one in a long long line of assistants that Mr Big went through like candy#Lesley is his favorite though because. while she is terrified of him. shes still willing to push him. to be honest with him#but she also knows exactly when to step off. when to lie to appease him#( its always a tossup as to whether he wants a sweet lie or the harsh truth that day. He can always tell either way#its a gamble he does to be cruel. She always picks right though. or maybe he's more lenient with her than he should be)#He likes that she knows exactly how to push him without ever stepping over the line#He likes that her guilt and revulsion are slowly eating her up inside but shes too selfish to leave#She likes being special. She likes the idea of ruling the world alongside him#She'll always be second in command but shell be so much higher than everyone else#and shes willing to do anything to get that#Mr big doesnt think shell ever make it that far#but he likes her anyway#shes the one assistant he'll be sad about dying#OK damn apparently I did still have things to say about this old fic DAMN#still not gonna finish it tho. they call me the struggler becaus.e writing is a struggle...
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even while it was happening, you knew it wasn't going to last
#parahumans#worm#lisa wilbourn#tattletale#feeling BAD about my girl lisa in the club tonite#i am convinced she is the most tragic main character in worm#which is a bold statement i know#but i just cant handle even thinking about her shit FOR REAL#she knew the cops and robbers shit was bullshit! from the very beginning!#of course she did! Coil fucking forced her to work for him at gunpoint and she totally understands that#if she doesn't do what he wants shes going to end up in a torturebasement!!#she knew aall of taylors funny little problems n Issues from the start! she tried SO hard to keep her alive and at least a little happy#struggling and clinging and digging in her claws as she watches this girl somehow get Worse(?)#and every time taylor takes a step towards the void guess who sees it in excruciating detail even when taylor can't/wont!!!!#and in the end it doesn't matter!! all her schemes and plans don't amount for shit!! she doesn't save the girl!#she doesn't save the girl.#my art
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back on my bullshit (meeting men im in love with). Ben Schwartz is so kind and tall :-) I didn’t totally freeze like when I met the Jonas brothers but the selfies we took are blurry so 😔
(at least I have these bc I told sam to record the whole thing heheheh)
#also the show was great#I had to slap sam many times bc she was choking from laughter#ben schwartz#bro how did i forget my personal tag for ben#ben schwartz my beloved#me#also forgot me tag#editing tags after the fact to recount the entire experience#so we waited outside for about 10 minutes and I had no expectation of how long it usually takes for him to come out and take pictures#he comes out without a mask which is surprising to me and says ‘you guys wanna take some pictures?’#we all just kinda form a non sensical blob (there’s maybe like 10 ppl total) around him#Brandon Katie and Eugene hang back towards the stage door unsure if anyone wants to chat with them#I’m gushing over how tall and handsome Ben is to my sister who is ready to record our interaction once he gets to me#as I listen to him chatting with the other fans I can’t help but smile and say to my sibling ‘he’s so sweet’ every minute#he meets someone who has a cool sketchbook of the skits from the show that he wants to take a picture of#but they need to write their handle so he says he’ll talk with some others and get back to them#so he does and then later I see the girl ready to talk to him again off to the side#so I tell her ‘you can go ahead and finish talking to him”’ and she’s like ‘are you sure?’ and I’m like duh!#finally it’s my turn and he looks at me and says ‘hi I’m Ben’#yes Benjamin Joseph Schwartz I know#he sees me holding my phone and immediately sides steps to get into selfie mode as I ask him if he’ll sign my Jean Ralphio figure#he steps back to Be in front of me ‘yes of course!’#what insane media training he has#he says ‘I’ve seen this! this is the first one I’ve ever signed’#upon seeing the figure he says ‘it’s beautiful’ lol#he’s concerned that the sharpie I brought will not show up and I mention that it was probably a bad one to bring because it’s pastel#he signs and holds it up (as you can see in the first photo) to make sure it’s visible#he hands it back to me and I thank him and he says ‘do you want to take a picture?’#and I say ‘I would love to!’ and then I hold the Jean Ralphio figure and he looks to my sibling assuming she’s taking the picture#she’s like ‘no I’m just here for moral support!’
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I can't stop thinking of Kyanako's Order of Attack au... there's something so moving to me about how things getting so much worse could be what finally causes Amane to get better -- seeing Fuuta dying may be the final straw of getting her to rethink her rejection of medicine. Been a while since I've attempted something whump-y, this was fun to work with.
Tw for mentions/contemplation of death. I don't go into detail about the cult but the doctrines are implied through it all.
Fuuta was not a big fan of dying.
When he imagined his own death, he always pictured it as something dramatic and fast. Action heroes going out in a show of explosions and gunfire. Fantasy characters meeting the shining end of a blade. Even when he accepted his place in Milgram, it filled his mind with images of gallows and electric chairs.
Whatever this slow, lengthy fever was, it was pissing him off.
He’d lost all sense of time. He could no longer tell which hour the prison bells were marking -- morning and night blended together. Dreaming and waking blended together. His head injury and broken leg and broken bones blended together. It was all just pain at the end of the day. He had nonstop visitors that kept him awake and asked him too many questions and prodded his injuries and made his head spin. Somehow, he was simultaneously alone every time he rolled over to talk to someone. Painfully, suffocatingly alone.
If Kotoko was going to kill him with those ridiculous emo boots of hers, she should have just done it. He was losing his mind here: devoid of all energy, suffering through broken bones and a cracked head, and boiling in an increasingly fiery fever. Maybe that was the reason he stopped commenting when he watched Amane pocket the medicine Shidou had left him. Maybe that was why he’d stopped following Shidou’s instructions himself. Even after losing an eye and taking a beating herself, Amane always looked at peace. He was tired of dealing with all of this. He wanted a bit of that peace.
Regardless of why, it was working. His fever had quickly gone from the biggest pain in his ass to the very thing that dulled his racing thoughts.
He awoke suddenly, or maybe he’d already been awake. He couldn’t feel anything in his limbs. There was only a breathless heat around him. He raised himself into a sitting position, looking for a drink. Moving his head felt like one of those glitching computer windows that leaves a trail of copies behind it. The room swam around him. His eyes moved absently around him.
Fuuta picked up the glass that someone had left him. His fingers were clumsy, and it immediately went crashing to the ground. He hardly heard the noise as it broke apart on the concrete below.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed. He’d just go get a drink himself. Shidou told him not to get up without help. But what did he know? Thinking of the man ordering him around only drove Fuuta to step out of bed even quicker. He cried out, pain shooting through his leg. That was right, it was broken…
Fuuta looked down, finding himself on the ground. It was so hot. Maybe this is what she felt, he thought numbly. Was it this slow for her too? Probably not. She had no regrets to fill the time like he did. The heroes got quick, beautiful deaths, and it was the villains who had to suffer the long ones.
He lifted his right palm from where it had caught his fall. The shattered glass on the floor had cut into it. Shattered glass? What had broken? He stared blankly at the blood dripping down.
He didn’t have the strength to raise himself up. He was burning. Why was he on the ground? Was he bleeding? He could barely breathe. What was he doing here, anyway? He just wanted to curl up and sleep. He was so weak... just to lie down... he wouldn't have the strength to get back up again. Was that such a bad thing...?
A voice caught his attention. His eyes struggled to focus on the figure who’d come running into the cell. He couldn’t understand a word of what she was saying, but he was happy when she pressed her cool little hands against his forehead.
He allowed her to prop him up next to the bed. She held onto his hand, squeezing it tight. Why was she holding it like that? That hand was bleeding. When did that happen?
Her arms wrapped tightly around him. He wanted to shove her away -- it was too hot -- but couldn’t. In his ear, he could make out her words. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please, Fuuta. Don’t leave me alone. I’m so sorry...”
As she pulled back, he recognized Amane. Her uninjured eye was filled with tears. Was she upset? He thought he’d been making her happy. He wanted to keep making her happy. He’d never made anyone happy before.
He opened his mouth to say something, but no words would come out. They all scrambled up in his mouth. He felt the cell swirling around him.
Amane raised her voice. She looked desperately upwards. “This can’t be --! This isn’t right!”
Fuuta looked up at the ceiling. There was nothing there.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
She continued talking. Fuuta was too busy studying the ceiling. She was shouting. Or maybe crying. Fuuta didn’t like that she was so upset. Huh, had there been someone there? He surveyed the empty cell. What was he doing on the ground?
He looked down at his hand. The sheet from his bed had been pulled down and wrapped hastily around it. Why? His eyes felt sticky as he blinked. Everything hurt. It was so hot. What was going on? He was so angry. He was so scared. He wanted to cry. Why was he here? Why couldn’t he just hurry up and die already?
The next time she entered, Fuuta recognized Amane instantly. Her one hand pointed to him, the other held onto someone else. The second figure hurried over to him.
Fuuta was not a big fan of dying. Shidou reassured him he wouldn’t.
—
“You’re wearing the eyepatch,” Fuuta observed.
He was playing a dangerous game, drawing attention to it like that. He was too exhausted, and his curiosity won out over his better judgment. If Amane was going to explode with one of her typical speeches, he’d just let her.
She didn’t.
Amane’s hand drifted up to her eye. It had been hastily covered before, but now it was cleaned and wrapped in professional-grade materials. She simply said, “Kajiyama Fuuta. How do you feel?”
“Like shit.”
“But--”
“-- But I’m better, yeah.”
Amane nodded, her shoulders releasing.
“Oi, I haven’t seen you in a while. Not since…” He wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence. Shidou had told him what happened, but it was difficult to believe. He couldn’t quite trust his own memory of the night. No matter how much clearer his mind felt since receiving proper treatment, those days of fever still muddled together. He heard that Amane had up and switched her beliefs overnight -- she was now complacent about all of Shidou's treatments -- but Fuuta knew people didn't just change like that. He wanted to hear it for himself.
She lowered her gaze in shame. “I… I thought you hated me.” Her voice was steady. “As you should. I almost killed you. I accept any ill will you may feel.”
“I -- what? You’re wrong. You… it wasn’t…” He grabbed his head, grunting in frustration.
After standing awkwardly in the entryway the whole time, Amane took a few steps inside. She made it to his bedside when he finally collected his thoughts.
“It was your fucked up family or whatever that caused everything. They did this. And I went along and made things worse.” He looked away. His next words felt stupid to say to a little kid. He felt like the most pathetic, weak, loser. But it was too important not to say.
“They almost killed me. You saved me.”
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#amane momose#i am emotional about them!!!#my other drabble between them hinted that fuuta would convince her away from her dangerous beliefs before things got too bad#but i wanted to see what would happen if things Did get bad ya know#we were talking about what could convince amane to think twice about the medicine ban (if anything)#and i think seeing her closest friend is literally on deaths door finally gets through to her#shes sees him weak and bloody and completely out of it and knows this is Wrong#i dont know how long it takes fuuta to realize that it really was all for him that she changed but he does accept it eventually#it helps both of them grow#he feels worth saving (and therefore worth turning his life around) and she is freer from her cult#not completely#but one step at a time#tried to make fuutas narration simpler and shorter to reflect his thoughts but idk if that worked#i thought they were going to do a lot of stuff with mahirus head injury and memory but they never did- i played around with that a bit here#i thought about writing out amanes monologue to her god about how shes not doing this anymore but 1. its more dramatic to leave that to#the imagination and 2. idk if its silly but some things are so personal for a character and i dont wanna intrude... like yeah its my#story but thats between her and god fr#drabbles#tw cults#tw child abuse
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#i wrote the arsl essay really emotionally if it's illogical i'm very sorry it's just my impression T0TTTTT.........#mumblings#EVEN THE SOLLUX ONE IS CRINGE TO ME I CANT LOOK AT IT ANYMORE i'm just glad people who've gotten something out of it can feel#more reassured in their enjoyment of these characters bcs theyre awesome & i like when people think abt them esp in relation to each other#i was so 👀!!! by how sollux detected his relevancy was reduced compared to the rest of the meteor crew and chose to step away with aradia#and since her arc was pretty much finished around the same time as his i rlly love how they complete their jobs then go off have fun#(well sollux is extra funny bcs he doesnt WANT to be a Main Character but mf can't resist adding his two cents backseat commentary LOL)#anw.. idk if ive ever mentioned but i dont care for pale arsl whatsoever skjskj highkey resent the popularity of that depiction but i don't#have grounds to complain since it gives people a reason to keep including aradia with sollux somehow#once again coming from a dvkt background i often saw aradia and sollux entering as a pair so it was wild to switch to slkt and#find out a lot of sollux shippers don't like aradia as much. or at all#<- was scrolling old posts and saw that people have been discussing this same exact thing years ago LMAO the cycle repeats itself#i think sollux should 🥺👉👈 for aradia forever its funnier to think he likes her so much and she's just. occupied by more important things#ANYTHING SHE NEEDS HE WILL COME.... SHE JUST HAS TO ASK. BUT WHAT CAN SHE POSSIBLY ASK FOR WHEN SHE'S ALREADY SO CAPABLE....... HSJAHAA#back when she approached him for tech and research assistance he could feel useful but now. he's huddled in the corner sad puppy#its so ;;; when ppl make him super relieved to see aradia like WAAGHHHHHH SHE'S HERE... SHE'S HERE FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!#sollux wanting to be more important to aradia is a thought i revisit a lot he just wants to know if there's anything there#but he can't pick Just One Thing and regardless of the outcome good or bad he'll always regret screwing it up#in reality its not his fault lol just like karkat dude's got the self-sabotage instinct for things no one holds him against for so. yeh#STILL don't take my opinions as truth gospel alright i'm a fangirl not a meta writer!!!!!!!!!
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Had a realization while mopping the kitchen,
Jotaro is all three of his parents child, because listen
Usagi:
He looks like a carbon copy of the guy and acts similarly to him, same drive, same temper, everyone points these two things out
Kenichi:
I like to make the cuck joke as much as anyone else but let's not forget that he and Jotaro have a real father-son relationship!!!! Jotaro calls him father and loves him like one!!! Kenichi knows Jotaro isn't his and his rival is his sire but doesn't care and loves and raises him anyway!!!! Also I'm pretty sure that Kenichi is always/mostly wearing purple in colored comic issues and what is Jotaro wearing???? Purple!!!!! The symbolism????? Because Usagi may be Jotaro's biodad but he is not the man that raised him, fed him, clothed him, Jotaro is wearing Kenichi's colors!!!! Because he is as much Kenichi's son as Usagi's!!!
Mariko:
obviously he has her ears and nose but also! May be grasping at straws but! His clothes have a pattern like she does and(correct me if I'm wrong) Kenichi doesn't! Kenichi's are plain with only the reigning Lord of the lands Mon and Mariko's and Jotaro's has a design! Similar in how they both love Kenichi but they also love Usagi! Jotaro wants a father-son relationship with Usagi but not at the cost of one with Kenichi! Mariko has affections for both Kenichi and Usagi but it's pretty obvious her feelings for Usagi run deeper than for Kenichi, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love him! Because for all that she loves Usagi, he didn't love her enough to stay and Kenichi did. Even though Kenichi had to leave the Dogora school in shame he still could've been a retainer to a lord like Usagi but instead he stayed! This man raised her child knowing damn well how he came to be and didn't care! Married her knowing she could never return his feelings with the same fervor!
Jotaro loves his parents and wants to respect all their wishes! This poor fucking kid...
#usagi yojimbo#miyamoto usagi#jotaro#jotaro usagi yojimbo#mariko#mariko usagi yojimbo#kenichi#kenichi usagi yojimbo#anyome remeber tomoe ame's evil halfsister/cousin? how she was raised by a father that knew how she was born and hated her for it?#talented with a blade but cruel? amd Jotaro could've been that Kenichi could've been cold and distant and cruel but he wasn't#he looked at the boy and he loved him#usagi wasnt there to raise him or provide for mariko so he fucking would#he's not a stepdad he's the dad that stepped up#sorry if it sounds like im dissing on my boy miyamoto i /know/ he'd have been a good fucking dad if given the chance#but current circumstances as they are? no he could not and that fucking /hurts/#good men good samurai both with potential to be good fathers and husbands but with the tragedy of war and being in love with the same woman#it was never gonna end well#hey do you think the reason why usagi keeps going after married/gonna be married women is because of his yearning to settle down#he wants to be domestic so fuckin bad...always so far but out of reach...#usagi miyamoto
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I voted
#go vote#When Trump won in 2016#I had a panic attack that had me curled up on the floor terrified#Its what finally pushed me to get anxiety medication#cause it had gotten so bad I couldn't function#I do not know how bad it will be if he wins again#he CANNOT win again#Myself and most of my loved ones are queer and/or disabled#Some are Jewish some are Muslim some are Pagan#I lost a grandparent to covid because of that man#if project 2025 is actually enacted#I will lose more loved ones and my own health will suffer#please vote for Harris#Once she wins and is sworn in#THEN go yell at her and the rest of the Democratic party#and tell them to do better#but first step is make sure she's the one we're yelling at#cause HE wants to execute people who yell at him#SHE won't
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I find it soo hilarious that Rhaenyra named her daughter Visenya and Aegon named his son Mae(l)or
to be fair, Rhaenyra had this idolisation for Visenya (hence the name) and while she was a controversial figure, she had more pros than cons. Though it's still rather bold to name her firstborn daughter like this and 100% respect for it.
Aegon had me wheezing with Maelor because there's no way he didn't do it on purpose. I feel like there was definitely a push from otto/Alicent when it comes to the first names (given how people in asoiaf use them) so firstborn son was forcefully named jaehaerys after the wise old king (as a sign of power that his son will follow the same path) and I headcanon Helaena coming up with the twist of its female form Jaehaer-a to be all cute and make her twins match.
Meanwhile with Maelor, Aegon had the opportunity to wilful and unruly and forced down his choice, instead of whatever other name his mother and grandfather had in mind.
#I have no proof to back me up but I know it in my guts he wanted to name him Maegor but everybody looked at him in horror#and started ranting why this was such a bad idea so he came up with the magical solution mae-L-or 😂#for what it's worth Aemond definitely thought Maegor was a good strong name and his grandfather is weak for being against it#As for Rhaenyra it's kinda ironic how Visenya is her fav enough to pass down her name when she herself is more similar to Rhaenys#like my girl wouldn't be 10 steps away from a sword but she likes the aesthetic of strong valyrian women#ask reply#aegon ii targaryen#anti alicent hightower#rhaenyra targaryen#headcanons
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Adam(Sackler) being super proud of me for taking the stairs again. Still can only get to the 5th floor before I need to stop and catch my breath. I make it to the 9th and go inside, I'm sweaty, my breath is trembling, and my legs feel like absolute jelly but Sackler is there to greet me.
"Don't touch me, I'm sweaty!"
He tells me he doesn't care, his hand places itself over my chest where my heart is and he flashes that little lopsided, goofy smile at me and reiterates what I can already feel.
"Your heart is beating so hard and so fast baby and your cheeks are all red~ you did so good~!!"
he'd envelop me in a tight hug and then brush some of my hair away from my forehead that was stuck there. He's pepper my face with kisses till I was laughing and telling him to stop because I can't catch my breath.
Then he'd give me one final kiss to my lips~
#Something comforting in knowing that he would be cheering me on. Because he's so good at it in canon. Like he gets Hannah to run with him#and he's so encouraging. Even when she lays on the road in defeat he steps over her and yells playfully at her to keep going.#Also he runs ahead and gets her to try and catch up with a reward being a high five. He starts running and is like#'high five me~ you got to catch up to me if you wanna high five~!' He's just so reassuring and so nice! (and silly)#Because I know he is so genuinely nice about loving bodies of every size but also being super encouraging if they wanted to lose a few#pounds I can actually believe he would be this way with me too. <3#As much as I like to say 'my other f/o love me no matter my body type' a part of me is like 'you're trying to convince yourself but you#have doubts' with Adam I don't have a single doubt in my mind because I SEE it. Its CANON its a part of who he is!#Like I really want to believe my other f/o love me as I am but until then. I know I have Sackler to help me with loving myself. <3#my favourite bad habit;
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thinking about Sam and Ursula scavengers reign again. omg. omg....
#SPECIFICALLY the way sam starts withdrawing when he realizes that he's a danger to her.#like omg.. walking ahead so she doesn't have her back to him. telling her to stab him if he scares her at all#u can tell hes doing so bad by the way his path in that field is so wobbly and meandering but he stays locked in#at least until he can see with his own eyes that she'll be safe and only then does he let himself rest#AND he doesn't even let the parasite take over completely. my man is dying on his own terms and its a little sexy of him who said that#and at the very end shes wearing his colors and has stepped into his role as leader and it makes me want to explode.#this is romance. to me
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Yeah yeah “show don’t tell” get mis-explained and misinterpreted as writing advice a lot and yeah sometimes you SHOULD be telling the reader things however I am unwilling to discard this particular phrase given the number of stories I have encountered that make me want to slap the author across the face with it
#tal reads#this post brought to you by my current audiobook#telling me. REPEATEDLY. in conversation and internal narration#that the mc is this incredible rebel who never follows the rules and who everyone knows likes to live on the edge man#meanwhile in terms of his actual ACTIONS in the story#the most exciting thing this man has done is buy a coffee shop without his family’s approval#(there’s a LITTLE more weight behind this than I’m making it sound bc his family is politically important. but not much.)#there’s this whole conversation he has with one guy#to whom the mc mentions his family wanted him to take religious orders#and the next like. ten lines of dialogue#are all just the guy repeating how UTTERLY UNBELIEVABLE this is and how NO ONE is less suited to that than the mc#and I’m just sitting there like. this guy is neither a serial killer nor afaik a political atheist so like calm the fuck down perhaps#it’s not a bad book overall!!!#but the reputation the author wanted her mc to have is HILARIOUSLY out of step with the character she actually wanted to write him being#if it was all internal narration I might call it a brilliant bit of unreliable narrator of the self-aggrandizing flavor#and take it as an artistic choice#but it’s clear other people think of the mc how he thinks of himself#just with…zero justification in the actual story lmao#every time he gets close to actually doing something seriously risky he’s like ‘but I’m not stupid so I didn’t’#me: WHY DO YOU HAVE A REPUTATION FOR DOING STUPIDLY RISKY THINGS THEN???#anyway if you have to TELL your audience what kind of person your character is#rather than letting their actions speak for themselves#then it’s time to reassess if that character actually is the kind of person you’re describing
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crazy how i have no one
#like yes i have my internet friends and i adore them ofc#but i have no fucking one irl#and i mean no one. my mom’s side of the family is all dead and the other side is uber christian and doesnt give a fuck about us#i only have my brother#and i need help and support so horribly bad but i wasnt there for him when he needed me#so why the hell should he be there for me. he shouldnt#im going to have to rely on myself this time and i cant do that#i dont trust or believe in myself whatsoever#i think im fucking horrible and useless and repulsive#and idk how to be nice to myself bc ive never felt that and i dont know how to self soothe#i dont have the energy physically or mentally or emotionally to learn#and idk what to lean on anymore if i want to quit abusing substances#realized recently how much i do that.#and for how long. a decade. ive been acting like a 13 yo this whole time#idk how to move past and grow up. god i absolutely need to see my therapist again. if she’ll have me#i fear ill be rejected tho ive left and came back several times and last time she said ‘ofc ill take you back youre my person’#whatever that means. ive been an anomaly to every therapist/psych ive been to apparently they all mention how weird i am and how they cant#figure me out. like damn me too doc!#i want to email her so bad but i wont be able to see her until my insurance goes thru and i dont want to get free labor out of her if i dump#all the trauma ive sustained since i last saw her on her yw#but i want to get better i dont want to live like this anymore i cant do it#any of it#my coping mechanisms are all self destructive and i want to grow past that#but i need help and i dont have it. not really#whatever i guess. first step call and see wtfs going on w my insurance#i feel like i need help even for that . i feel so utterly incapable of everything snd i always have#i can do it. i can do it
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