#he wanted to get in and figured gorgug could hold him up

[nocturnal-artist]

The Bad Kids cuddle sesh on the Mordred Manor couch

[dullgecko]

TWO HEADCANONS!!

Riz, like a cat gets the zoomies. But He also will blue screen if you pick him up by the back of his neck or shirt (which is less welcomed because he will immediately perceive that as a threat.)

The first time it happened it was Fabian trying to get The Ball to stop running around, this was met with Riz just staring off into space with dilated pupils and a thrashing tail.

It’s a goblin thing, Neither Pok or sklonda ever picked him up like that. Nobody knows, including Riz why he does it.

Now it’s plan c if they can’t get him to calm down from the zoomies or in general.

Gorgug loves children, unfortunately most of them are scared of him, especially gnomish or small folk children. The few that do get to know him, love to climb on him. He is a jungle gym and he loves it, he will gladly play pony for a bunch of overexcited 6 year olds, and yes he will weld each of them a little metal flower and tell them to give it to someone they want to be friends with.

Fabian was the first person to accidentally scruff Riz when he made a grab for the goblin to get him to calm the fuck down and accidentally grabbed his skin AND his shirt at the same time. Riz didnt like it at all but he couldnt bring himself to be mad at Fabian because neither of them knew that would happen. Fabian is also the only person allowed to pick Riz up without warning due to best-friend priveleges, so despite Riz's general dislike of getting picked up without warning he just let it go.

Riz is fine with getting picked up but only if he's given a heads up. He grew up around people who were almost always BIGGER and STRONGER than him and there have been too many incidents of people grabbing him without warning and causing harm on purpose for him to be totally chill about it.

Out of general curiosity they even tried to recreate the reaction but it seemed like Fabian grabbing JUST the right spot had been a total fluke and they just moved on with their lives.

The second time Riz was successfully scruffed led to an /incident/ that almost fully banned the practice except in dire circumstances. Kristen had been purposefully antagonising him for a week by picking him up without notice and, after Fabian mentioned the whole limp-kitten reaction to her, had done some research to figure out how to do it successfully.

Turns out there's a specific spot of tougher skin just above a goblins shoulder blades that covers a cluster of nerves that if pinched will fully paralyze them from the neck down. It's a biological reaction so that goblin parents can carry their children without them squirming and being accidentally dropped while cimbing (you're supposed to bite the spot so that your hands are free).

Riz had already been ticked off about being constantly picked up, so when he was scruffed on PURPOSE this time it flipped a switch and he was fully /enraged/. He may have looked totally spaced out, but the aura he was emanating was goddamed terrifying. They had to disarm him while he was still paralysed and have Gorgug pin him down so that Kristen could release the hold and escape.

Picking him up by the shirt is a LOT more dangerous, because it will not paralyse him and he will maim indescriminatly. It happened way too many times when he was a kid and now he flips to full murder-mode without thinking whenever it happens.

When someone outside the party grabbed him by the back of the shirt once, they witnessed him twist around fully so that he was upside down and had the guys lower arm in a bear hug. The goblin making a noise that could only be described as 'pissed off feral cat' as he bit out SEVERAL chunks of the guys forearm and didn't even let go when the guy released his hold on him. He simply used the oportunity to bite off a couple fingers as well for the insult as he was flailed about to try and dislodge him.

-----------------------------

When Gorgug and Fig start getting famous the kids become a lot less scared of him, often coming over to oggle at him whenever he's hanging out on the front lawn of the Thistlespring tree. He's always happy to play with them if they ask, or even sit still and listen to them chatter about whatever as they climb all over him while he works on his artificer homework.

[swarmkeepers]

riz & gorgug for #5! ✨

5. heard you tell the same story multiple times but doesn’t point it out to you when you excitedly bring it up to them again + riz & gorgug (prompts linked here)

(starting immediately post-fhsy, and a little more angsty than the other prompt fills so far because it deals with some of the aftermath of spring break. sometimes friendship is late nights and brownie recipes and old stories.)

There are forty minutes left until Elmville when Riz digs his claws into the headrest of the passenger’s seat and clambers over the seat backs to sit shotgun in the Hangvan. 

Everyone else is asleep, or as Riz suspects in Tracker’s case as she stays oddly still as a human pillow for Kristen in the backseat, at least pretending to. But Riz is quest-restless even though they’re heading home, and Gorgug’s awake because he’s driving, and both of their darkvision light up the street ahead for them. 

Gorgug doesn’t look surprised when Riz lands in the seat next to him. Of course. Because his whole party knows that Riz doesn’t sleep, or at least has to be told to, or has to know that there are hit points to be regenerated and a fight to be alert for the next day. 

Streetlights speed by and Gorgug brings the van to a smooth stop at a light, accelerating smoothly up afterwards to not jostle anyone in the backseat. He’s practiced, easy, calm. Meanwhile, Riz’s thoughts are a messy turbulent maelstrom. He can’t sleep, and after everything in the Nightmare Forest if he never saw a bed again it’d be too soon. But, forget sleep, his brain isn’t even letting him relax right now, and Riz is struggling to figure out the questions that are on the tip of his tongue. His fingers itch for a ball of red string, trying to figure out why he wanted to be up here with the passenger seat and the windshield and Gorgug.

“What’s being a barbarian like?” he asks quietly, and Gorgug doesn’t exactly startle but does tip his head to the side curiously. 

“Can I ask why?” 

“I’m—angry,” Riz says, surprising himself, but it feels true enough. “I killed Kalina, but she said she was with me my whole life. And I hate that.” He wants to hiss, to bare his teeth and make the hair on the back of his neck stand up, but it’s not Gorgug he’s mad at. “Sometimes I wonder if I should use that to. Hit things.” 

“Okay,” Gorgug says. 

“And you—you know about that. About being angry, and not being. As comfortable. Or at least you’ve said stuff like that.” Riz picks at his long fingernails, pretending to be nonchalant and not looking up to see if Gorgug’s insight is better than his shitty attempt at deception. 

“Tell me about why you wanted to be a rogue?” Gorgug asks instead, and Riz understands it’s not really a question. He trusts Gorgug. He thinks about it. 

“Um, my mom was always a detective, I guess. And my dad was a spy, but I guess I didn’t know that.” Riz spends a lot of his time thinking. He’s realizing he doesn’t spend a lot of time thinking about himself. Maybe he needs to make a new conspiracy board. “Uh. I guess the first time I ever saw Penny sneak attack someone was really cool, I definitely knew I wanted to do that.”

Gorgug makes a soft hm? noise that asks Riz to keep talking. “Because I was little and Penny’s little too, and we were at the mall and some asshole catcalled her? And oh, man, you should have seen her, Penny was probably an Aguefort freshman then? But she told me to hide behind this vending machine and—”

--

They’re all the way home, with the Mordred Manor crew taking their stuff out of the trunk while Gorgug and Riz keep talking. Riz finished his story hurriedly as they pulled into the driveway, ending with Penny teaching Riz to make brownie bars at Strongtower after the sneak attack incident and being so cool and badass and nonchalant about making that guy’s nose gush with blood. He’s talking fast and gesturing big like he doesn’t usually, caught up in a story that he can tell well and that he hadn’t thought of in a while. Him and his rogue friends are tiny badasses. 

“That was a good story,” Gorgug says. “Rogues seem pretty cool.” 

Riz grins, all his fangs out and happy in the driveway of the manor. “Thanks, dude.” 

“I think you can be angry and not a barbarian,” Gorgug says, gently. 

And “Okay,” Riz says, gentled. 

--

It’s the tail end of one of Fabian’s all-out summertime ragers. The Bad Kids are in a big cuddle pile that barely fits on the picnic blanket on the lawn of Seacaster Manor, and Gorgug’s at the very bottom. Riz is tipsy on half a beer (goblin metabolisms are not good and it’s not his fault) and he thinks Gorgug looks a little lonely, lying on his stomach and tapping at his crystal with all the wind knocked out of him from everyone lying on top. He scrambles down the pile of friend-bodies and sits on the grass by Gorgug. Riz racks his brain for something good to say. He doesn’t want Gorgug to be lonely, not when Riz is going to be up all night and Riz is usually the lonely one.

“Di’ I ever tell you about the first time I saw someone get sneak attacked,” Riz says, words big and bubbly and coming out too fast. He doesn’t care, he’s buzzed and happy and Gorgug looks like he could use a good story.

“I don’t remember, tell me,” Gorgug says, putting his crystal down face down so its glow goes dark. 

“Oh man, you’re going to love this story. It was, like, me ‘n Penny at the mall, and there was this real asshole of a dude, and I didn’t know Penny went to Aguefort but she took out this knife? And it was like she flew at him—”

At some point in the story Gorgug falls asleep, and Riz is more pleased than annoyed. He looks cozy. And not lonely. 

--

“What’s this, The Ball?” Fabian asks when Riz takes a fantasy tupperware of brownie bars out of his briefcase and puts it on the the table in the cafeteria.

“They’re sneak attack brownies,” Riz says. 

It evidently does not clear up any of Fabian’s questions. 

“Penny—Penny Luckstone?—they’re her recipe, she taught me how to make them the same day I ever saw her sneak attack a dude,” he explains. “She like, jumped out from behind one of those fake potted plants at the mall and slashed him so bad with a dagger and then she didn’t even get sneak attack on it but she also socked him in the nose and it was like the coolest thing I’d ever seen. And then she just went home and washed the blood off her fist and then we made brownies.” He puts a hand on his chest. “And I’ll never forget it.” 

“Okay, The Ball,” Fabian says, but he takes a brownie. 

Next to him, Gorgug’s already halfway into his second, nodding happily and energetically so his hair flops in front of his face. “I love that story!” he says. He’s all leaned in, listening to Riz’s story.

Riz lights up—he’s no Fabian, with expensive magical gifts, and he’s no Gorgug either with little artificed trinkets and sweeping big gestures. But he’d remembered the story and remembered the brownies and wanted to make some, and he’s just glad his friends like them as much as he does.

“Because the secret ingredient is sour cream,” Riz confides. Fabian fake-sputters, sending tiny brownie crumbs everywhere, and Gorgug swats at him. 

“You were eating it just fine before!” Gorgug says indignantly. “Respect the brownie, dude!”

“You’re right, Gorgug,” Fabian sighs. He takes another bite. “They’re not bad, The Ball.” 

--

Riz only dimly registers footsteps pounding up the stairs and also a greataxe brute forcing its way through the booby traps at his office door. His crystal is abandoned on the floor next to him, the last text he sent to Gorgug still on the screen. It’d been “Having a bad time. At my office. Can you come help? Thanks, Riz” and it’d been typed out with shaky fingers as his breaths started coming too fast, the way it does whenever he lets himself be alone in his own office for too long. Riz hates it but he needs help. He forgot the period on that text and it’s been staring at him for the past few minutes. 

His brain is whirring too fast—Shadow Cat, Kalina’s eyes in his own eyes, Baron in his mirror in his own office, darkness and danger and Fabian in churning waters, he died in that forest and so did Adaine and so could any of his friends, bullets dodged and bullets fired and it’s too much, too much. His breaths are coming too fast but also not fast enough. Riz feels suffocated. 

He’s wedged himself into his own briefcase of holding, the sides squeezing his arms in a way that’s grounding and comforting when nobody else is here in his office to help.

But Gorgug is. Gorgug is here to help now. He skids to a stop in front of Riz and sits on the floor and Riz only dimly registers it out of the corner of his eye where his head is curled into his chest trying to make himself small, make himself safe. 

“Riz, can I touch you?”

Riz does his best to nod and Gorgug just wraps long lanky boy arms around his torso, gently lifting Riz out of his own briefcase and settling him in Gorgug’s lap as they sit on the floor of the office. He doesn’t let go, just squeezes tighter. It’s so much help, and also— “Can you. Talk? Anything— Anything’s fine,” Riz says. 

“Um. Sure, Riz. I guess I can. I could list a recipe? My parents have been trying to teach me to cook more, for when we go to college in a couple of years. I’m sorry, I’m not like Adaine, I don’t have lots of interesting things memorized,” Gorgug says, apologetic. Riz wants to be able to tell him not to be, but he’s a little preoccupied trying to make his brain tell his lungs to breathe.

“Uh, so these are called sneak attack brownies?” Gorgug says hesitantly. Riz realizes what he’s doing and tries to laugh, the giggle interrupting the choked breath he was trying to take.

“They’re called sneak attack brownies because they’re my badass friend’s recipe. And he learned it from his badass friend. Um, I don’t know this super well, actually, but I really should by now and I’m just going to keep talking and if it’s wrong then I guess it’s wrong? I know that you need chocolate for a brownie. And eggs and sugar. You told me the secret ingredient is sour cream.”

Riz nods, thudding his head into Gorgug’s chest a little. He takes a deep breath. Gorgug’s hoodie is soft. And he’s a good listener.

“Right, uh. After sour cream. Flour. And butter?”

“The butter’s— the butter’s unsalted,” Riz manages to eke out, voice small and quiet and mostly talking to his own knees. 

“Got you. Unsalted butter,” Gorgug agrees, easy as anything. 

“Penny said— Penny said that dude she punched’s tears were salty enough, that’s how I remember it,” Riz tells him.

“Tell me more?” Gorgug asks, and he waits patiently as Riz lets his brain just focus on a recipe, an easy recipe and a badass story. It helps, to be given something focused to do. And Riz is just so, so glad he has friends who will give that to him, will listen over and over again when Riz needs to talk. 

And Gorgug waits. And Riz tells him. 

from the prompt list linked here! i’m closing prompts from this particular list simply because i have so many excellent ones to get through

[justbeingtalea]

Here we go again, another part of me just dumping all the things I love about specific dynamics and relationships in Dimension20′s Fantasy High on all of you guys who have to see this.

And I realized that I already talked about two parts of the triangle that is the “Bad Boys”, but that there is still one dynamic to get more into, so today we are going to talk about Riz Gukgak and Gorgug Thistlespring.

Gorgug Thistlespring is and has been the quiet and introverted kid for as long as we know him, while Riz Gukgak is extroverted (or: “social”) and initiates conversations, questions, etc. Gorgug is emotionally smart, but not really book-smart, while Riz really excels in being book-smart but isn’t the person for emotions. Because of that Riz is also always very secretive when it comes to personal or emotional things and will mostly just share them if they are relevant to a case or adventure, while Gorgug is not one to hold back on talking about how he feels, what he is thinking, etc. And then it is also interesting to look at them from the outside, where we have the big and strong half-orc, who is always in the middle of the fight and the small goblin, staying as far away from the fight as possible and fighting from hiding.

But at the same time, all these differences make both of them able to support each other in a way that is complementary, strengthening and supportive. 

Riz will often get into his own head and conspiracy theories and Gorgug will listen, will talk it through with Riz, will let Riz explain it to him and ramble on until Riz figures out what it is that he needs to figure out. Gorgug often doesn’t know what to do, clueless about which direction is the right one, or what to do next, but Riz nearly always has a plan, something to follow, somewhere to go, he gives Gorgug a direction.

Like Gorgug following Riz’s direction in the Forest of the Nightmare King, going all in with calling Riz “Little Angel” and believing that he has to be an angel, catching the backpack with Riz in it, joining Riz in the AV club or grabbing Riz and jumping both of them to safety when fighting the golem in season 1.

Like Riz taking part of Gorgugs hoodie for himself, immediately accepting Gorgug as part of the AV club and even specifically wanting him there, wanting to go after Gorgug when he walked out of “The Swans Little Parade” to make sure that he was safe or agreeing to call him Skipper when Gorgug asked if the other Bad Kids could do that.

They don’t often interact one on one, but you can see how much they care for each other. Both of them being terrible at lying, socializing not really being their thing, “playing the nerds”, being the “green one with a unusual height” and maybe being strange in normal life but absolute badasses in combat.

And there could be so many moments when Riz shows up at the Thistlespring Tree and just rambles on to specifically Gorgug, because Gorgug will let him, will ask questions, will make him repeat himself and through that Riz will usually find the problem or mistake in his thinking and can move on or sleep his four hours of sleep that night as peacefully as a Riz Gukgak can. 

Or maybe Gorgug will mention a bad rumour that is going around school about him, or Zelda, or both of them and maybe Gorgug won’t do anything, but the next day suddenly the rumour has stopped and if the person who started it was visited by Riz Gukgak, who had only needed a few hours to dig out all the blackmail he needed to make that person stop, nobody needs to know (even if Gorgug will know and will make sure to buy Riz a coffee ... the Riz version of an orange).

Remember the time when Riz said that Hot Topic-nerds hate AV club-nerds in regards to how Gorgug hated Biz? I don’t think that is particularly true, because Gorgug and Riz like each other just fine.

[cactusnymph]

Prompt fill #8 for @dimension20alphabet:

Home / Healing

Riz didn’t like sleep before he went on a quest to retrieve the crown of the nightmare king. Sleep is a pointless waste of time and if Riz could have some sort of magical solution for this, he would take it immediately. 

Now, after the events of their spring break though, Riz actively dreads going to sleep. He hates it. 

Hates lying in bed in the dark and thinking about all those things in the forest of the Nightmare King, about dying and coming back to life, about their trip to hell, about Kalina sitting on his chest in the night, threatening him to kill Fabian, about Kristen being torn up from the inside—those pictures follow him into his dreams as well. 

He knows that it’s stupid because the Nightmare King is no more and neither is Kalina, but the dreams haunt him still even after their quest is over and he’s back home in Elmville, where he should feel safe. 

Except now, when he goes into his office, he hangs a sheet over his mirror and when he looks at the floor and sees the scratch marks there he shudders and swallows. 

When he’s lying in his room, from time to time he feels a weight on his chest that’s not really there. 

Sleep and silence and solitude have become his enemies and he doesn’t know how to win this battle. 

After a week of barely sleeping at all, of a degree of caffeine that alarmed his mother to no end, Riz finds himself in Mordred Manor in the living room. Someone pushed most of the furniture out of the way and the entire floor has been covered in mattresses, pillows and blankets. 

All Riz wanted to do was check in with the others to see if they had any plans for the coming weeks, but now he realizes that the inhabitants of Mordred Manor have spent their nights sleeping in this living room together. 

And right now, in the middle of this all, lies the familiar figure of one Fabian Seacaster, snoring lightly with a pillow on his head while Adaine sits next to him, reading, and Ragh seemingly plays a game on his crystal. 

“Oh, hey, Riz, my man”, Ragh says, his usually loud voice surprisingly quiet and he raises his massive hand to wave at Riz. 

“Um—hey guys”, Riz says, unsure what to make of this. “What’s up?”

“Fabian has trouble sleeping at home”, Adaine says and smiles at him, sticks a bookmark between the pages and puts her book to the side. After regarding him for a few seconds she cocks her head. “You look like you haven’t slept at all.”

“Uh—maybe? Sleeping is...”, he gestures vaguely and doesn’t finish the sentence. 

“Hard?”, Ragh offers. 

“Yeah.”

“I mean, dude, feel free to crash here any time. We sent you some messages but you didn’t answer them, so we figured you were not into the whole slumber party thing”, Ragh says and Riz blinks. 

Now that Ragh mentions it, Riz isn’t sure where he left his crystal. And he was too occupied with his own brain and his sleeplessness that he didn’t even realize it was missing. 

“I guess it would be okay to try”, Riz says and steps forward until his feet hit the end of one of the mattresses. Adaine gently pats the mattress next to her and Riz climbs into the middle of the nest made of pillows and blankets. 

“Isn’t it weird to just—I don’t know. Sleep here? While other people do their thing?”, he asks. 

Adaine shrugs. 

“We went on a quest to defeat the King of Nightmares. I feel like we can use all the restful sleep we can get. And it helps to not be alone.”

Riz lies down and immediately remembers how part of his journey through the Nightmare King’s forest was to take a nap. 

He still feels entirely ridiculous about this. 

As someone who helped defeat a damn deity Riz shouldn’t feel as nervous as he does about sleeping. 

Just as he arranges some pillows in a way that seems comfortable to him, Fig and Kristen enter the living room. 

“Oh hey, Riz!”, Kristen says with a wide smile. “Have you decided to join us in our cuddle pile?”

“I guess”, Riz says and shrugs a little helplessly. He’s still not entirely sure if this is going to work, but even while he considers if he should maybe just stay awake until night comes so it won’t be too weird, he feels his eyes drooping. 

At some point, while he dozes off, he hears other people enter the room and he thinks that he can hear Ragh offer his lap as a pillow for Gorgug and Ayda’s voice making sure that it is okay for her to hold onto Adaine’s wrist while she sleeps and a warm presence next to him smells like motorcycle oil and leather and some sort of pretentious aftershave. 

And Kristen is there by his side ruffling his hair while saying “Sweet dreams, Riz.” and Riz feels like maybe it would be more normal to have enough of these people after spending so much time with them for so long, after being in close quarters with them for so long. 

But all he feels is a sense of safety and warmth, something that hugs him like a blanket and says “This wound will heal and these people will help”. 

And Riz sleeps. 

[etanunu]

Merry holidays folks!!! I just stuffed myself on tamales. I hope you’re all having a good day but I know the holidays are tough, especially this year. Just know that you matter, you do, and that even when we feel lonely we are never fully alone. Even now, by me posting this and you reading this we’re connecting right this moment! Anyways, I figured I’d give you all a new Fantasy High AU I’ll probably never get around to writing to celebrate this connection. This time Fantasy High Figayda Anastasia AU. You heard me right folks, here we go.

Arthur Aguefort gets owned indirectly. Since he’s such a powerful wizard, someone he pissed off (maybe a god) kills all of his lovers and progeny. Depressed, he isolates himself in Spyre while he mourns (and starts his plans on how to kill a god).

Unbeknownst to everyone, one of his children survived, for she is half phoenix and was reborn. Rumors circle around the possibility of Ayda surviving, but they’re chalked up as nothing but rumors otherwise someone would have found her or surely she might have stepped up.

NOW. Ayda lives on Leviathan and is trying her best to maintain the Compass Points Library but it keeps getting destroyed as political tensions skyrocket on Leviathan. So she considers leaving for the first time, though she doesn’t know where to go. That’s when she hears that some touring rockers are on Leviathan and heading toward Spyre soon and they might be her ticket out of there.

Fig and Gorgug are on their way back to Spyre and Fig’s been hearing these rumors about Aguefort having a daughter who lived on Leviathan once who might be alive that he hasn’t seen in forever. She tells Gorgug that if they find the long lost daughter then Aguefort would owe them big time, like big enough to make them a magical creature to tour in. G: “What if we can’t find her? No one else has.” F: “Well obviously we disguise them and teach them all about Aguefort to convince him it’s her.” G: “Isn’t that wrong?” F: “Is happiness wrong?” Gorgug goes along with Fig’s plans and they start auditions.

They meet Ayda and Fig says she looks like she could pass for a Phoenix-Aguefort child. Ayda says she is in fact part Phoenix but does not remember anything from her past lives because all her records were burned after someone attacked and killed her past life. A: “Garthy took me in and told me a little.” Fig decides that even if Ayda isn’t the lost child, she can definitely pull off the part and has such a convenient alibi for not going back to Aguefort. Gorgug agrees.

They journey back to Spyre and Fig coaches Ayda as gods try to get in their way and kill Ayda but luckily she and Gorgug are badass adventurers. They make it back to Spyre.

Figayda softness galore. I’m talking Spyre Holds the Key (to Your Heart).

Fig and Ayda fall for each other just before Ayda meets Aguefort. He recognizes her but tells her she should probably go. He tells Fig he knows what her plan was. Ayda is hurt by all of them and thinks this means they have all tricked her and rejected her.

Fig feels bad, goes and tries to kidnap Aguefort, fails, and then just persuades him to go talk to Ayda if she really is his daughter as Aguefort says.

Aguefort goes to see Ayda and explains that he always knew where and who she was but that they had fought in one of her past lives. After not hearing from her after so long and after gods set out to kill all his children he thought it was for the best for both of them to not reconnect. He didn’t realize they were both hurting and lonely.

Ayda gives him a second chance. But she is still hurt by Fig’s deceit. Fig is about to leave when Gorgug tells her she should just be honest and apologize. Then gods come back and attack Aguefort.

Fig shows up to help just as Ayda is down to her last points of HP. Then Gorgug and the rest of the Bad Kids show up to help. Ayda uses badass magic to defeat the gods. A: “Why are you here?” F: “Because I care about you and I’m sorry and I want to help you even if after this you never want to see me again. I’ll respect your choice but not till I’ve helped you kill these assholes.” The fight ends. A: “I am still upset and hurt but I would also like to kiss you right now. Because I like you a lot and it scares me. Can I kiss you?” And then she and Fig kiss.

Fig apologizes profusely and she’s honest even about the things that scare her and the things she thinks will make Ayda hate her. They talk for a while. Ayda decides she needs time to figure things out with her father in Spyre. She thinks about trying to remake the Compass Points Library one more time, and she tells Fig that she wants to be together.

Happily ever after.

[infaethable]

(part one here)

riz gukgak has been legally dead for a week when he wakes up in a hospital bed.

it’s not like in movies, he doesn’t come to consciousness all at once. he catches snippets of conversations and traces of sensations, the relief of his mother’s voice for half a second, the comforting smell of adaine’s bergamot shampoo that always lingers even a few days after a wash, a hand in his, rubbing a thumb across riz’s split and scabbed over knuckles before he finally fights the urge to go back into the sweet relief of unconsciousness and opens his eyes.

it's so bright that he immediately has to beat back the impulse to close them again, his pupils narrowing into slits in order to take in less light. he's got a killer headache, and his mouth is dry as he says the only thing he can think of.

which is understandably, "ow."

fabian, who riz had uncharacteristically not noticed sleeping silently in the chair beside the bed, falls out of said chair in surprise. riz lets a smile spread across his face, the first in a number of weeks.

now that he's more in himself, he takes in the room more and sees that clearly, he's been here for at least a little bit. if he had to guess, a couple of days. there are multitudes of cards on his bedside table, a kids one scrawled over in black sharpie clearly from fig, a handmade one that could be from kristen or gorgug, a lovingly colored in color by numbers type thing unmistakably from adaine, and a number of nondescript ones probably from distant classmates or his mom’s coworkers. on the windowsill is a slightly misshapen glass vase riz recognizes from it’s home on fabian’s dresser, holding a tin flower.  

riz leans over the side of his bed, ignoring the flash of pain from pulling his stitches (which he apparently has now?) and takes in fabian himself, who’s getting his bearings on the floor. he supposes he’s being hypocritical, as someone in a hospital bed, but fabian looks rough. 

he's got dark shadows under his eyes, and his hair, which over the past year had shifted slowly from straightened to loose bouncy curls, is frizzy, and disheveled like he’s run his hands through it too many times for the style to keep. his jacket, usually pressed (which riz made fun of to no end, the idea of pressing a letterman's jacket was so ridiculous-) was crumpled on the chair as if it had been draped over him like a blanket when he fell. and as fabian reaches a hand on the side of the hospital bed to help himself up, riz sees that there are white bandages wrapped around his palms.

riz feels a pang of worry along with the pull of his stitches, so he reluctantly repositions himself, but cocks his head to meet fabian’s gaze and croaks out (he should really ask about some ice chips-), “what happened to your hands?”

fabian finally gets himself to a standing position, blinks the sleep from his eyes, and says, "the ball. you’re- i'm going to get a nurse!" and runs out of the room.

riz gets about ten seconds of confusion before sklonda comes running in, and envelops him in the warmest hug he’s ever had and holds on for dear life.

and then, in a voice laced with more grief than he’s heard in six years, she says, 

"you- riz you were gone." 

and riz says back, trying not to get his mom’s curls in his mouth,

"i texted adaine?"

and sklonda pulls back, hands still on his shoulders, says, 

"and then you went missing for three weeks! they found three and a half pints of your blood on the floor of a laundromat in bastion city, riz you are so!"

and then she makes a noise that riz knows means she is utterly done with his antics and buries him in a hug again.

and a nurse comes and taps sklonda on the shoulder, "mrs. gukgak? we need to check his vitals." 

his mom corrects the nurse under her breath, “as i’ve told you, it’s miss gukgak.” before taking a step back.

riz answers benign questions like what country he's in (solace) what week it is (second week in november) how he’s feeling (bad) all the while craning his neck very subtly to see if fabian will come back in the room. his mom only rolls her eyes once. 

when the nurse leaves, sklonda sighs and rubs her temples, and starts, "riz, you lost- you lost so much blood." 

riz can’t meet his mother’s eyes as shame pools in his gut, says quietly, "i- not all of it was mine."

sklonda tenses, before continuing, "we figured that out when you showed up again, but riz, it was." and her eyes well up as her voice breaks, "if it had been, there was no way- you couldn't have survived it."

riz's brows furrow in confusion, as he prompts, “but it wasn't." 

and sklonda retorts with a frustrated hand gesture, "yes, well the idiots in the bastion city precinct didn't know that, riz." and pauses to make sure he's looking her in the eyes as she continues, "you were legally dead riz. for a week."

and riz's eyes widen as he takes in the information, "what- that's stupid. i was alive. didn't anyone do any divination spells? or locator spells? or, actually, fuck-” riz takes a quick breath as some machine next to him starts beeping, “i um. warded myself against divination and locator spells, but i think dead is a little bit of an overreaction! how does this happen?!" 

sklonda raises her voice, “calm down-” before taking a glance at the steadily rising heart rate monitor, and says in a low tone, “what's done is done, and the important thing is that you're alive."

riz does not calm down, his voice raising pitch slowly, "everyone thought i was dead? everyone?"

sklonda nods her head slowly, says, "we were about halfway through your will, which, by the way, how the fuck did you, a fifteen-year-old boy, get a will notarized without letting me know about it? do you want to explain that?"

riz's eyes are as wide as saucers as he says, "wait wait wait. my will? halfway- how much of my will?"

sklonda furrows her brows for a millisecond in confusion before a revelation washes over her face and incredulous anger sets in, 

"riz gukgak. you were legally dead for a week and that is what you're worried about? YOU LOST THREE PERCENT OF YOUR BODY WEIGHT IN BLOOD!"

and she takes a step back, takes a deep breath, and says, before riz can respond, "i am going to get myself another coffee, and you some ice chips. and you are banned from “deep cover” for- for till college!" 

and riz tries to sit up, but his stitches pull too painfully to ignore, so he cranes his neck to see out of the room as he shouts after her, "like in icarly?!"

sklonda shouts back, “stop pulling your stitches!” before disappearing out of sight. 

riz waits there for a couple of moments spiraling, maybe he got the old letter, fuck, did i remember to switch them out? habit of forgetting things integral to my wellbeing, please don’t fail me now, i promise i will never say anything bad about you again- maybe they didn’t even get through all of them? or maybe he got it but he didn’t open it? was going to save it for his wedding day or something like in that movie with julianne hough- before hearing tentative footsteps, and looks up to see fabian in the doorway, head down, wringing his hands. 

riz is suddenly acutely aware that he hasn’t talked to fabian (besides the brief exchange earlier) in almost a month, which would make it the longest he’s gone without talking to fabian since they met. even in those long and lonely weeks in jail, they found quiet ways to communicate. notes passed daisy chain style, the odd few messages by way of fig or adaine whenever both of their cell doors opened enough to let magic in. 

riz opens his mouth to say something, act like a normal fucking person, but- 

he can't.

and thankfully, fabian does, clears his throat and says, so quiet that riz might not be able to hear it if he weren't a goblin, "i got your letter."

fuck.

riz winces and looks down at his lap, the green of his hands contrasting with the pale blue hospital gown patterned with tiny dark blue polka dots. 

he holds his tongue as he thinks about what to say before finally responding, "you um.” so much for thinking about what to say, he thinks as he levels his gaze at fabian yet again, “i wrote two. i had to rewrite yours, for- reasons. which one?"

fabian takes a step into the room, pauses a moment, then closes the door behind him. fabian’s movements are slow and hesitant like he’s trying not to make any loud or sudden noises. he still won't meet riz's eyes. riz gets the sinking feeling that he knows what letter fabian read. 

fabian confirms it anyway, "the one where you said-" 

and that’s all riz needs to interrupt, his voice painfully high pitched at this point, "we don't have to talk about that. it- it was a contingency plan, just in case, you know, and we can just move past it." 

riz gives a smile that begs fabian to not notice his face is lime green right now. and then as a further misdirect, he adds, "you never told me what happened to your hands."

fabian finally meets riz's eyes, and his expression is. god, riz is so bad at reading faces, and he’d count fabian’s as his top three most readable faces, on the sheer amount he looks at it alone. he’s. confused? hurt? but that can't be true, why would fabian feel hurt? maybe he's mad riz took advantage of their friendship? but fabian denies that there's a friendship to betray at every turn-

his train of thought gets interrupted by fabian's next words, breathy with a hint of annoyance maybe, "i- my sword. burned my hands. when i made my pact." 

and riz's eyes widen even more as horror and panic sets it, what the fuck did fabian do-

"your WHAT?"

fabian winces at riz's gravelly voice, which cracks halfway through so it can't be very intimidating, before saying, "riz, it's not important, if we could just please talk about the letter-" 

riz interrupts him again, "i don't think my feelings for you matter as much as you selling your soul, fabian, why would you do that, oh my fucking gods-"

and fabian raises his voice for the first time, a hint of darkness and desperation riz hasn't ever heard before in his voice, "you were dead riz."

and riz quiets down, shakes his head from side to side a minuscule amount, before saying so quietly it could almost be a whisper, "what does that have to do with anything?"

fabian gets a look on his face that riz couldn't parse in a million years, his lips the smallest bit parted and his head shaking in mirror to riz’s. disagreement? confusion? riz can’t figure it out. 

fabian’s steps echo on the linoleum as he crosses the distance from the door to the side of riz’s bed. riz looks up at him, so much taller normally and even more imposing now, and he doesn’t know how fabian clocks it, but he does, leans down so he’s on his knees and he and riz are at eye level.

it's dizzying, to have fabian's full attention like this. he almost opens his mouth to question what are you doing? but can’t bring himself to break the magnetism of the moment. 

fabian’s gaze bores into his, and he says again, so softly riz thinks for a second that he wasn’t meant to hear it, and so broken that riz never wants to hear it again,

"riz. you were dead."

and for a beat, they just stare at each other.

fabian, slowly, slowly, reaches his hand to envelop riz’s, and it feels familiar. he can’t remember any other time fabian has held his hand, so that has to mean-

riz gets these feelings sometimes, little thorns of hope that dig their way in and whisper, what if- that inevitably disappoint when fabian crushes them underfoot. riz waits for the inevitable. 

the inevitable doesn’t happen. 

fabian leans in the slightest bit so that their foreheads are touching. so close that riz's breath hitches and fabian must feel it. and fabian has tears running down his face, riz doesn’t know how he missed fabian starting to cry, but he is, and fabian swallows a lump in his throat before saying in a pleading tone, 

"riz”

riz realizes that fabian hasn't called him the ball since he came in the room. 

so he says back, those thorns crawling their way into his voice, hope, bloody and raw, 

"yeah?"

fabian swallows again, and then, small and wavering, asks, "would you tell me again?"

and riz squeezes fabian's hand, involuntary, says, a tiny bit breathless,

"that i'm in love with you?"

and fabian nods imperceptibly, forehead still pressed against riz's.

so riz, with the conviction of a dead man, answers, "i'm in love with you."

and fabian inhales, sharply, before saying, "me too."

and then fabian kisses him.

and this isn't like the movies either, the tile is probably hard on fabian's knees, and riz has to crane his head to the side in his half laying down position, but fabian's mouth is warm and he tastes like coffee with so much sugar that it can't be called coffee anymore, and his hand that's not holding riz's comes to rest on the back of riz's neck, fingers threading into riz's curls. 

riz pulls away, takes a deep breath, and says, "you mean that you're in love with me, and not that you're in love with yourself right?" 

and fabian's face spreads into a smile and he laughs like sunlight that riz has barely seen in weeks, answers, "i'm in love with you, riz."

riz's voice is breathy and higher pitched than he would like as he says back, "cool cool cool. would you kiss me again?"

but as fabian goes to lean in again, he hears a voice from the doorway, the same nurse that took his vitals previously, 

"he most certainly will not. your heart rate is way too fast for the amount of blood you lost young man."

sklonda is behind her, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. 

fabian goes to back away with his arms up in a surrender motion, but at the last second presses a kiss to riz's lime green cheek, before he backs away for real. 

riz is already missing his presence as he meets sklonda at the doorway, where he finally breaks eye contact with riz to look her in the eyes. she puts a hand on his back to gently push him out of the doorway and into the hallway outside.

she says, annoyed in that way that means she’s not really annoyed but amused, “go get adaine. she’s been waiting for her turn for ten minutes, and if she waits any longer i can’t say in good conscience that she won’t murder you, and then we’d have an actual death on our hands.”

and sklonda turns back to riz, raises her eyebrows. riz raises his back, and she walks across the room to press a kiss to the corner of his head. the nurse rolls her eyes, mutters something about adventurers, and shuts the door on them.

[esther-sinclair]

Fantasy High PJO AU

it’s what you’ve all been waiting for

Of the Bad Kids, Fabian has been at Camp Halfblood the longest. He’s a son of Aphrodite, and his father is Bill Seacaster, and he spends his summers at camp because he is a respectable boy who started learning how to fence from the moment he was old enough to hold a sword. He wouldn’t exactly say that he’s on the closest of terms with his mom, but she’s showed up a few more times than most godly parents do. If asked, Fabian will say that it’s obviously because he’s special, and because he’s just that good, but he would be lying if he didn’t admit that it only increased the pressure to be the best. 

Next longest was Adaine, who discovered camp after she wandered over the border on a school trip. She was a human with the sight, and from a young age she knew that her family couldn’t see all the things that she could. She ended up becoming the Oracle of Delphi, and was able to get a forged note saying that she was invited to a most exclusive summer camp. She spent most of her summers there, and then eventually she started staying longer and longer into the year until she lived more at camp than she did at home. Even though she is technically a mortal, she spends most of her time in the Apollo cabin, being the oracle and all.

Fig found out that she had powers, summoning tremors in the earth as she played her guitar, and her mother didn’t tell her anything more than that her father was not Gilear, and was, in fact, a greek god. Sandralynn told her about Camp Halfblood and Fig headed off, bringing a duffle bag with her and refusing to leave after arriving unannounced. She really hoped that she would be an Apollo kid, musical talent and all, and she spent most of her time in the cabin even after it was revealed that she was a daughter of Hades. She feels isolated and different because she’s the only child of the big three that anybody knows about, and that just means that she is going to throw up more walls and hang out with the Apollo kids and fit into any role that she needs to.

Riz was next. His mom always told him about how his dad was a secret agent and that was why he was always gone, and the stories were good enough, and by the time that Sklonda realized that she maybe should have told Riz the truth, he was already well on his way to becoming an (un)licenced private investigator. He was good at hiding and snatching and clever as anything, and one year when he put together the clues and wouldn’t stop looking for his father, she told him about camp. He stayed there for a summer, and he might have stayed there a few weekends during the year as well when his mom got caught up in work. He was claimed pretty quickly as a child of Hermes, and has decorated the entire underside of the bunk above him with a conspiracy board.

Gorgug always knew that his adoptive parents weren’t his real parents, but he didn’t know quite how different he was until the end of eighth grade, when a monster attacked his school and he ripped it apart. Turns out, Wilma was a child of Hephaestus, and she had wanted to protect him as best she could, and in this case that meant sending him off to camp for the summer. He ended up being a son of Ares, but didn’t exactly make himself many friends when he showed up to the cabin with a metal flower. Fig took him under her wing, and they ended up spending a lot of time with Adaine and the Apollo kids.

If this were to have a plot, it would kick off with Kristen learning that she was a demigod. She went to church summer camp her entire life, and then one year, there was a new kid who seemed to take a special interest in her. Tracker seemed to seek her out and they actually got pretty close, and then a monster attacked and Tracker turned out to be a satyr who was there to take her to Camp Halfblood. Cue Kristen’s crisis of faith as she realizes that the God she worshipped her whole life isn’t the whole story, her crisis of life as she tries to figure out what being a demigod means to her, and her crisis of sexuality as she and Tracker get closer. 

If she feels at home at Camp Halfblood, it’s only because it’s a summer camp, and not because she’s finally allowed to be herself. She’s been herself this whole time, right?

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 18

Brennan Lee Mulligan Fight Me IRL (subtitle: Is This Allowed?)

***A proclamation: Non-Adaine Abernants have no rights (and no consistent canon name spellings) so, henceforth, I will be spelling their names however the hell I want.***

Yeah I don’t have any preamble this week, let’s just do this.

We rejoin our table (which Ally is very noticeably absent from) with Fabian just having seen Kristen stabbed through by the skeletal unicorn. He runs out to get the rest of the Bad Kids but, when he comes back, there’s a mirror showing the room instead of a passageway into it. He shatters the mirror, which doesn’t help the situation at all. 

Fig takes advantage of the souped up illusion magic in the forest and uses Phantasmal Force on herself to create an illusion of a door that she can walk through. She, however, realizes that she’s not being taken into the same place that Kristen’s body was and gets out of there ASAP. Meanwhile, Gorgug takes down the wall and they’re able to get into the room. 

Once in the room, they find a human skeleton clutching shattered pieces of stone in its hands, which Adaine does the Identify Spell on--it’s St. Kristen Applebees, who’s been dead for 850 years (850 years ago is when the last Sylvan War happened, just FYI). Fabian can tell the room is very different than when he was in it last, like it’s been shut up with a dead body for 850 years. The skeleton is also weird. The posture and joints are wrong and it seems like it was decaying during life as well. Gorgug looks at the stone shards the skeleton is holding and sees that they’re broken pieces of an image of a face, but the freaky thing is it’s not all the same face. And the faces resemble their own. 

So, across the board, troubling stuff.

Adaine casts Locate Creature on the unicorn and senses that it’s moving into the forest (which is in conflict to where they see its hoofprints leading). Riz does an insight check and is convinced that this isn’t a situation that can be solved with logic. This is some straight Alice in Wonderland BS that can only be endured, not solved. There’s only one thing to do. Take a ton of drugs and go through their personal hells to save Kristen. The group, filled with trepidation and determination, agrees. Fig offers to cast Fear on everyone to make things easier. (She also takes her hair down because she is a rock star who understands when to do things for maximum drama). Adaine dismisses Boggy and gets rid of her Anxiety meds. Fabian gets rid of his fear-cancelling eyepatch. Fig and Adaine want everyone to be tied to each other but Riz thinks this is something they absolutely have to do alone and they reluctantly agree. Everyone comes together in the last moment before they put themselves through this ordeal. I believe in you. Spring Break.

Then Riz takes off, before they can even do the drugs. His biggest fear is not having a plan so it’s the best he can think to do to give in to fear. Riz tries to follow the unicorn, getting torn at by branches and briars as he goes, hands suddenly bleeding (as if digging through a palimpsest), and he stops when he finds a sliver of silver mirror. Let’s do some D20 math. Riz+Mirror. What does that equal? That’s right. We knew this was coming. It’s the return of Baron from the Baronees!

Baron appears and says that Riz made him up because he was scared. What was he scared of? Riz says he’s scared of being wrong and hurting his friends but Baron says that that’s not why he lied. He lied because of his anxiety over all of the rest of his friends getting into romantic relationships and leaving him behind. They don’t care about him. They only keep him around because he’s useful for mystery solving. Baron shows his images of his friends with their respective love interests and Riz, ever logical even when he’s trying not to be, sees Ragh with Fefethriel (he also has no rights so I’m not looking up how to spell that) who he knows Ragh doesn’t like and clings to that as a sign that this isn’t all real. Baron continues to twist the knife. Riz isn’t like his friends. He’s not like his parents. And he’s not a good detective because, if he was, he wouldn't let himself get so easily distracted. Riz finds he’s no longer in the forest. He’s trapped in a world of mirrors.

“OK,” says Brennan. “Let’s go down the line. What are all of you afraid of?”

“Oh Boy,” I say, knowing this is going to be a bitch both to watch and try to coherently recap. 

Their answers are as follows:

Gorgug: Impostor Syndrome and the fact that he’s already died once which calls into question the reality of everything after that.

Adaine: Failure and loss of control

Fig: Fig has a whole laundry list of fears. Gilear being dead, Ayda being dead and coming back as a baby, being a fraud that will wear out her welcome and be discarded, not being able to save her friends

Fabian: Helplessness and ending up as Yogurt Fabian

Everything starts to go to hell at once.

Gorgug’s crystal pings. It’s a message from Skrank saying that it’s dope that he and Zelda got back together and he’s happy Gorgug is being so cool about it. Gorgug just turns his crystal off but then, he’s hit with the realization that his life just doesn’t really add up. He’s a rockstar with a girlfriend who saved the world from a dragon with his friends? Come on. That’s a little far-fetched. And then, Bam! Adaine has to roll for a panic attack. For the first time ever, she fails on a 4 and begins to shut down. She fights the panic attack, even though she knows she needs to experience fear to get to the center of the forest and she’s able to...but finds herself outside of the briar wall, alone. She tries to Misty Step back in, but she can’t. She’s stuck.

At about the same time but a few seconds earlier as Fig is casting Fear, Fig is caught between her two main fears: being a fraud and not being able to save her friends. But Brennan, the evil genius, says that it occurs to Fig that the fact that she even had the thought of her self image while her friends were in danger means that her main concern is a shallow one and that she is a fraud. A cool, confident copy of Fig--the rockstar image she tries to project--splits from her body, tells the real Fig to stay down, and Fig is frozen to the ground. 

Fabian just straight disappears. Not from the room like Adaine. From history. All his friends forget about him and are unable to see him. The Bad Kids were always comprised of 5 Members. There is no war in Ba Sing Se.

The Illusion of Fig says she’s going to find Riz and Adaine and she poofs out, leaving Gorgug and Fabian alone in the room. But Gorgug can’t see Fabian. He doesn’t even remember Fabian exists. As far as he can tell, he’s been left alone. Abandoned. He tries to anchor himself with a bone he took from Kristen’s skeleton earlier and then heads off to try to find Riz.  Fabian tries to call out to Gorgug, or hold him back but Gorgug doesn’t hear him and he finds he can’t physically affect him in any way. Fabian decides to let him go. He just sits. With everyone gone (including Baby who left with Fig’s double), Fig is suddenly able to move again. She calls out to her friends and, hearing no response, goes towards the woods. 

OK, that was a lot and it just gets wilder from here. I’m going to try to present this as coherently as possible by splitting up what happens to everyone rather than intercutting the scenes like in the episode.

Gorgug

Gorgug travels until the forest becomes impassable. Then, he finds a tunnel under the roots of the tree that’s super tight. He can get through but just barely and he for sure can’t get out the way he came. It's littered with leaves and bugs and Gorgug is pretty claustrophobic. Still, he steels himself and starts dragging himself through. It’s scary as hell but he knows the fear is leading him in the right direction and with a 21 Acrobatics, he gets through. 

Once on the other side, he takes out the recording stone he made earlier and records himself saying, “It’s Gorgug. Keep going,” as a message for anyone who might come this way. The message Care Bear Stare reverberates through the forest and all of his friends feel a spot of encouragement that they’re doing the right thing.

But Gorgug finds himself in the worst room for a low Int party member to be in alone. He’s in a puzzle room with a dick of a Sphinx who says Gorgug has to solve this puzzle or the Sphinx will eat him. The Sphinx says he’ll help (which will lower the DC of solving the puzzle) but every time he helps, he’ll give Gorgug some true but hurtful information. He has unlimited tries but once he starts he can’t stop.

Gorgug tries and fails (just barely). He asks for help. The Sphinx then shows Gorgug a vision of himself as a baby with his younger parents and all of his aunts and uncles. Gorgug doesn’t really know his extended family. Turns out, that’s because they were all hella racist about Gorgug being adopted so Digby and Wilma cut them all out of their lives. He created a rift in the family. He tries two more times. Both failures. The Sphinx begins to prowl and stalk him.

Gorgug realizes that the scariest thing to him is to admit that he’s too stupid to figure this out and he says, “I’m a dumbass. Eat me you stupid bug.”

The puzzle spontaneously solves itself. The sphinx leaps at Gorgug but vanishes into bugs before it can reach. The door opens and he can walk through. 

Riz

Riz takes comfort in the images of his friends around him (even though they’re all of awkward romantic moments) and says that no matter what Baron is saying, he knows his friends care about him. Kristen could have cured herself, but she cured him. They may call him The Ball, but now he’s friends with the bully who made up that nickname. He might not be super close with Penny who he worked so hard to save, but that’s OK because they just run in different circles. He feels secure with his role as Little Shrimp of the Bad Kids. 

The mirrors shatter. Baron vanishes. Care Bear Stare.

Riz sees tracks of the unicorn going off in another direction and he feels very confident that he can follow them and find it. He also sees a really cozy bed. 

“Is my greatest fear sleeping on the job?” he says. “I’m so lame.”

Still, he bravely gets in snuggles down (to the outrage of Lou, who we’ll get to next actually).

Fabian

Fabian gets up after feeling the spark of hope from Gorgug and starts moving deeper into the forest. Unfortunately, his friends may have forgotten about him but you know who hasn’t? Chungle-Down Bim who is in the forest, feral, and still chomping at the bit to shit in Fabian’s mouth. Fabian runs like hell into a cave to hide where he is met with his other worst nightmare, the SEXY RAT FROM FRESHMAN YEAR--now human sized--who gives away his hiding place.

After running for a bit longer, he takes a deep breath, lays down and--for the good of the party--decides to subject himself to what the forest has decided are his two worst fears apart from being forgotten: having his mouth shit in by Chungle-Down Bim and being fucked by a sexy rat. 

Insane but Bam. Care Bear Stare. 

The ground opens up and swallows him. He’s falling in darkness, just like in his nightmare from episode 1 (which I finally looked up, just in time it turns out). He hears Cathilda’s voice: If he’s his own new man, then will he be extraordinary? Will he write his name on the face of the Earth? Fabian senses a trap but he answers. He doesn’t know what he’ll be but he likes the direction he’s going. He doesn’t care where he ends up, because he likes where he is. And he doesn’t care if he writes his name on the face of the Earth because he’ll be with the bad kids. 

Gorgug, in the room that the door opens up to, suddenly sees something crash through the ceiling and Fabian--who he now remembers--is in the room with him. Fabian hugs him immediately--something he’s never done before.

And, for the trouble of that ordeal, Brennan lets them reroll their lowest ability scores with 4d6 (unless it’s lower than what they already have or higher than they want it for story reasons). 

Fig

On Fig’s way out of the temple, she sees a placid pool of water which has a carving of an eye being pried open above it. She can tell the pool is magical and she dips her feet into it, being consciously reckless. The pool is body temperature, which is unsettling, and it asks her whose dreams she wants to see. 

She first tries Aelwyn but gets nothing because elves are weird to scry on dream-wise since they trance. Then, she tries Kristen and sees the image of a huge woman (like mountain huge) clutching her scalp and screaming as a storm rages around her, striking her with lightning and destroying her in some crazy act of magic. Yikes. She scoops up some pool water to take with her. 

She tries to scry on Ayda, sees the same place Adaine saw when she did it earlier, and tries to Dimension Door there. It doesn’t work and she just ends up in some random place in the woods, hopelessly lost. As she walks, she comes across an elven village covered in spiderwebs and cocoons. Fig finds a griffon feather and then sees an old woman who is only partially cocooned. She wakes her up and asks what’s going on. Does she need help? Yeah, she could use help getting home. Fig asks where she lives. That’s easy. 22 Hilda Street; 22 Hilda Boulevard BAYBEE! 

Hilda-Hilda and her MASSIVE dog start to attack Fig (who was EXPLICITLY WARNED THIS MIGHT HAPPEN and told this insane lie anyway) and she books it out of there. As she runs, she is frozen and magically bound again. Her double walks out of the forest to taunt her some more. She asks what will happen once her rock star persona wears off and Ayda sees the real her?

“I hope that she finds something I didn’t know was there.”

Boom. Care Bear Stare.  

But Fig isn’t free. In fact, the bindings on her turn to marionette strings and she finds herself being dragged behind her double. Fig tries to make some illusion scissors to cut herself free but it doesn’t work. She’s reminded of the dream she had in the first episode of having fame and power and wanting a crown and any confidence she has leaves her as she remembers the times she’s been possessed in the past. Her double asks her why she wanted a crown so badly and Fig says it wasn’t her. It was whoever mind controlled her. Isn’t there a part of her that wants a crown though? Fig says what she’s interested in isn’t the crown. It's being able to control her self-image. Her double tightens her puppet strings which is heart clenching but Fig knows that means she’s going the right way.

They end up walking past the place where Ayda is and Fig yells at her double to help her--she may be a twisted version of her but she’s still a part of her so she should still have a crush on Ayda. The scrying water Fig took heats up and turns to steam and, within the steam, she can see what Ayda is experiencing: Previous incarnations of herself, screaming at her to do better and be better. She sees that, in Ayda’s memories, she spent a lot of time being confused and feeling inadequate and Fig was one of the first people to be patient with her and explain things to her. Ayda’s doubles taunt her and say there’s no rational world where someone as awesome as Fig (the real Fig, the Fig in Ayda’s memories is the real one, not the glamorous idealized one that has Fig hostage) would find a single redeemable quality in her. 

Ayda says, quietly to herself, that just because she hasn’t found any worthwhile qualities in herself, doesn’t mean someone as brilliant as Fig can’t.  

Fig suddenly finds herself somewhere far away, bound between trees right next to Riz who is still napping.

Brennan gives them the same offer to boost a score--Wisdom since they both got through their trials with Wisdom based solutions.   

Adaine

Adaine, also upon feeling the spark of hope from Gorgug, thinks that there has to be more going on than it seems so she takes off her jacket, leaves her orb, closes her eyes and starts walking. As she walks, it feels like days are passing. She doesn’t trip or fall but she takes slashing damage from the trees around her (still in the forest, regardless of how it appeared).

Eventually, she finds herself at the edge of a cliff that drops off into ocean. Ocean like the previous Oracle drowned in. Ocean like in the dream she saw herself drowning in at the start of the season. She sees someone standing near her but she doesn’t give them the time of day. She simply steps off into the open air and starts plummeting down. 

As she does, she sees that the figure--the same figure that was in the tent with her that she didn’t look at way back when--is of an older version of herself in a black mourning dress.

She starts drowning and she wants to try and solve the situation but, like Riz, she realizes that this isn’t something she can solve. She can only fight which she does, refusing to give up (which would be less scary). She suddenly finds herself not drowning in the ocean, but in an orb surrounded by people as Biz Glitterdew dressed like a Carnival Barker tells people to step right up and see the amazing Elven Oracle. She’s surrounded by people she doesn’t know how to help. She can’t even help herself. 

As she’s in the orb, she hears the voice of the future version of her from the cliff. She’s always been clever. She did everything right. This is her last chance to speak with her if she wants to. Adaine asks why she doesn’t have friends now. She’s hit with the reality she must know on some level already. She’s an elf. Her friends all have naturally shorter lifespans. Her future self has all these answers but the one thing she doesn’t know (much like Will in that one episode of Fresh Prince) is why she was so easily discarded by her parents. Are they unlovable? Our Adaine doesn’t know either. Maybe some things don’t have answers. Future Adaine asks if she ever wonders if the kindness from her friends is a reflection of their goodness and not her worthiness. God, yes, Every day. “But I know that my friends do love me so maybe there’s hope for us yet,” she says, voice heartbreakingly tremulous.       

Care Bear Stare.

Her double gives her a second and then says that as valid as that hope is, she needs to let it go, at least for now, to get to where she needs to get to. 

She lets it go. 

Adaine finds that she’s no longer in an orb filled with water. She’s in a prison orb in the heart of the forest surrounded by her family (hard air quotes around family). Her mom has summoned her. Aelwyn won’t look at her and is just staring at the floor, totally dejected. Anguin is there too, one eye busted and one arm in a sling. He’s PISSED. Arianwyn is still marked with curse wounds and Adaine doesn’t see the crown on her anywhere. She says it’s good to see Adaine, but Adaine’s not buying it. She Messages Aelwyn: Are you OK? What’s going on? Aelwyn says for once in her life, just do what their parents ask. Please. (She actually says please! Concerning!)

Arianwyn tells Adaine that all her friends are alive and nothing bad will happen to them. She’s not in any trouble. Adaine wants to know why she’d care if she was in trouble with her parents-in-name-only. “Self preservation?” Anguin suggests. Adaine says there’s nothing else they can do to her that’s worse than what they’ve already done so it’s kind of an empty threat. Anguin has something to say about that but his wife stops him and tells Adaine everything is nearly done. Promises were broken, they needed new allies, so they joined up with the Nightmare King. That’s not nearly enough information for Adaine. She wants to know why she’s there.

Arianwyn says that they need Adaine to just tell them what the Bad Kids have been planning so they can stop it and they’ll keep her friends alive. The Court of Stars said they would trade Aelwyn’s freedom for the Crown but, when she delivered it, they broke their promise. “So you bring back the NK?” Adaine asks, incredulously. The Abernants have always been important, Arianwyn says. She has no choice but to restore their tarnished name--the name tarnished partially by Adaine she points out.

Adaine wonders how they got to the center of the forest and faced all their fear while still being so craven. Aelwyn expresses surprise that Adaine didn’t just use a Duskmoss ritual the way they did. But she still made it, and Wiser than all of the rest of them. (Speaking of, here, Brennan gives her the same opportunity to boost her lowest score; hope she rolls 4 sixes and boosts her strength score). 

Tearfully, Arianwyn says that she doesn't know how to make Adaine believe in the family. To make her more like Aelwyn. Adaine says she's been so cruel and loveless to her her entire life. Why would she suddenly start believing in the family now? Arianwyn seems confused. She’s been very loving. And Adaine sees that she truly believes that. She had no self awareness at all.

Arianwyn continues to try and get Adaine on her side but Adaine rebuffs her, citing her earlier cruelty. “Love without expectation what is that?” Arianwyn says. “What is expectation without love?” Adaine counters, echoing her previous words. 

Arianwyn decides she doesn’t have time for this conversation and she doesn’t want to get upset in front of Adaine. She takes Killian (who is also there btw) and leaves. Once she’s gone, Anguin says that, when this is all over, he’s going to figure out a way to “fix” her permanently and his hands crackle threateningly with magic. 

We leave her there.

Riz wakes up and he and Fig make sure that the other is alright. Then, they hear the sound of hoofbeats and see the skeletal unicorn approach them. They sense a growing malevolence from the forest. 

Meanwhile, Fabian and Gorgug travel deeper into a tunnel off the room they both found themselves in and see that it leads to an endless ocean of mist from which huge islands of rock topped with forest jut out. They can sense that their friends are close.

“Spring break?” says Fabian.

“Spring break,” Says Gorgug. 

And that’s it for the session! 

Can’t wait for next episode to start with 30 minutes of Kristen being retroactively subjected to this same caliber of absolute nonsense just when I’ve recovered from this! 

 Detention

Arianwyn for Gothel-ing it Up

Tyrawewereallrootingforyou.png

You hate to see it. You truly hate to see it.

Was really hoping (based on some in-text evidence that I’ve previously discussed but also just wanting it really bad) that Arianwyn was gonna pull through and be not The Worst but it turns out she still mega sucks, just in a different direction than Anguin.  

I will say that we’re in the Nightmare forest of Lies so it’s possible we’re being lied to in some respect and I will glady eat my words if I have to later but, idk y’all, It felt pretty real to me.

Dishonorable mention to Anguin for threatening to mind-break Adaine which is horrific but we been knew he needs to get put down. 

Honor Roll

Gorgug for Sparking Hope

Gorgug is truly just the goodest boy. I really had no idea that him dropping that rock was going to do anything. In fact, I thought it was a dumb idea because nothing about the way things were set up made me think anyone else would come his way. It all seemed pretty individualized. 

Maybe that occurred to him. Maybe it didn’t.

But one thing that for sure occurred to him was that he wanted to help his friends in any way that he could so he tried and it worked and it helped. 

Gorgug really is the very best of what the Bad Kids stand for. Spot well earned. 

Random Thoughts

Brennan name dropped Kitty Pryde in this episode so I'm gonna give y'all a fun fact. I was a big fan of X-Men Evolution as a kid. In fact, it's still my fave piece of X-Men media to date (or, at worst, a veeery close second to the OG and TAS adaptation of the Phoenix saga). Anyway, Spyke in that cartoon at least once refers to Kitty as K-Girl and every time I call Kristen that, that's where I'm getting it from. 

Riz re: The Bardy Boys: As long as you investigate and and have a song in your heart you are a Bardy Boy. (If I was in charge of D20 merch, this would be the t-shirt for the ep for sure)

I gotta give major props to Brennan for how he ran this episode. I was so curious about how it would work and I had absolute faith in him of course--he’s never disappointed with individualized encounters--but he just knocked it out of the park. 

Kristen having all the revivify diamonds Concerns me, even though I guess she is the only one who could cast it I think (besides Tracker).

Siobhan: Keep crunching. Great practice for that die later. 

Ayda really stabbed me in the heart this episode. Brennan tried to murder me and Ayda was the weapon he used. The esteem that Ayda holds Fig in after such a short period of time is so sweet, as is how completely reciprocated it is. You know that “same hat, same hat!” Meme? That’s them, but also with their trauma. 

Interesting that, to Adaine, fighting and not giving up is the scariest thing but to Riz, going to sleep and not continuing is what’s scary. Especially since they’re so similar.

Of course, the bed could be going to sleep and being possessed but I don’t think he’s scared of that now that his money is gone. 

Some INSANE stuff happened re: Kristen this episode but it barely is even a footnote compared to everything else that happened. Isn’t that wild? Isn’t it wild that Kristen is apparently a Saint that has been dead for 850 years now and we’re not talking about that? Is this gonna be one of those weird time loop things where Kristen comes to find out that she’s actually been a part of this story the whole time?

Thank you Brennan for the emotional breaks of Fabian’s Loony Tunes antics and the return of Hilda-Hilda.

Anguin is still busted up from the fight with the Bad Kids which confused me until I remembered, oh yeah. Wizards don’t get heals. That’s why you diversify your party comp BI-YATCH.

I wonder what the true nature of the forest is. Most of the figures we saw in it were fully hostile but Adaine’s future self wasn’t. Just kinda sad. Of course, that is probably the better tactic to break Adaine since if something is openly hostile to her, she just tries to hit it.

What happened to Aelwyn since the last time we saw her? Clearly, all is not well. Intestinal distress aside, she was fine the last time she actually interacted with the Bad Kids and the last time we saw her via scry there was nothing obviously wrong with her. One thing that I noticed at the time but didn’t bring up because it wasn’t relevant then was that Brennan specifically said that she was wearing wood elf clothing while Arianwyn was wearing “Deep elf” clothing. In the art, you can see that she and Anguin are dressed more “nobly” and also that Aelwyn looks not only emotionally defeated but also physically roughed up and dirty. Why would they have her dress as a wood elf, who they clearly see as inferior? Is it pure cruelty? Part of whatever ritual they were doing?  I thought for a second it might be to pass her off as a wood elf for something in connection with the mystery goddess but they all look pretty freaking related. Nuathra was able to tell that Adaine was related to Arianwyn and Aelwyn pretty quickly. And, beyond what she looks like, when Adaine spoke to her via message and Aelweyn told her to not make waves, she said please. Aelwyn used the word please. That, to me, is a MAJOR red flag.

And what changed so drastically that it got Arianwyn and Anguin back on the same side? It didn’t seem like they were working together before and Aelwyn, who I don’t think had any reason to lie at the time, also said it point blank. 

@camwritery and I were wildly speculating about the Abernants, you know, as you do, and wouldn’t it be wild if the Abernants via prophecy or whatever knew they were going to have a child who would be the Elven Oracle and since elves tend to not have more than one kid (idk if it’s like that in FH but it’s like that in a lot of stuff with elves) they assumed that kid would be Aelwyn which is why she got all the attention and Adaine--a surprise baby in this scenario--got ignored until she was suddenly became relevant to their plans?

We were also talking about how Adaine has basically walked herself right into a worst case scenario by leaving her arcane focus and jacket somewhere in the woods (not to mention getting rid of her familiar and meds). She’s pretty defenseless, which means it would be a *fantastic* time for Aelwyn to grow a spine and do her sister a solid. Like, presumably her friends will be to her soon enough but come on girl! The path to your redemption is right there, just stick the landing! My best case scenario: Anguin tries and fails to do a Detect Thoughts on Adaine to get the information she refuses to give him. He orders Aelwyn to do it. Adaine purposefully fails her save, shows Aelwyn everything she wanted to show her before, and boom. We’re in business. 

Last excerpt from that conversation: In the new art, the Abernant’s names are spelled Aelwyn, Angwyn, and Arianwen. First of all that’s nonsense and, as I said earlier, they get no rights. But, assuming that’s correct, interesting that all of their names have the same ending but Aelwyn got her dad’s spelling and not her mom’s. 

Why does Arianwyn care so much about the family name? Assuming elves do it like humans (which is a bit of an assumption I’ll admit) it wouldn’t even be her name and line. This is A LOT for a family you married into.

Fig did three low-key things this episode I thought were very sweet. One, she worried about Adaine’s meds. My thought was that she had her jacket so she’d be fine but Fig thought ahead the extra step and was worried Adaine would be too panicked to think about that. Two, upon seeing Baby was with her doppelganger Fig’s main thought was, “Oh good. At least he’s alright.” Three, she begged her doppelganger to stop and help Ayda, trying to appeal to any shared feelings for Ayda, even though she was being straight savage to her. In conclusion, Fig is a huge sweetheart and a lot more forward thinking than her actions would often suggest.

Also, “No one wants to hear the bass play solo”?????? Was that off the top of your head Emily???????????When Zac clutched his chest? I felt that.  

Not mechanically important, but Fig’s archdevil pentagram is now an anarchy symbol instead. Rock on. 

“Are you afraid to know the truth of your life?”/“Now I am.”

I was SO worried we were gonna hear some bad information about Wilma and Digby but it just turns out that they loved Gorgug so much that they cut all the toxic family members out of their life? You love to see it. 

Did this episode give anyone else major Labyrinth vibes?

Gorgug calling the Sphinx, “Mr. Sphinx.” I love him so much.

I saw people talking later about Zelda maybe having cheated on Gorgug but, tbh, the thought that that was real never really crossed my mind. I just assumed it was phone trickery because haven’t we seen phone trickery before? On the other hand, Brennan’s Good Place-esque, “Come on. You’re a popular rockstar who killed a dragon with his friends last year? Does that sound real?” torture of Gorgug was exquisite. Not to mention asking Emily which thing Fig dreads more than turning it in on itself. You could see the “game recognizes game” look in her eyes as he did that. 

The moment the Hilda-Hilda sequence started I knew exactly where it was going and it was delicious. Brennan spinning it out, baiting Emily into asking her address, the reveal? *Chef’s Kiss*

Weirdly specific point but in this episode, Fig has water she collected from a magical source boil and burst the container. That’s actually the second time this has happened to Emily, the first time being during Unsleeping City with a flask of water from Em’s fountain.

"My friends were warmer to me when I first met them than you ever have been my whole life." Really can’t wait for Adaine to get to deck her parents. We’re all rooting for you girl.

Awards for shredding my heart this week go to Fig and Adaine. Special awards to Riz for hitting a little too close to home and Brennan for facilitating this torture. I feel like I should also get to reroll my lowest skill with 4d6 for experiencing that.

As an aside, hope everyone is doing OK what with all the craziness going on in the world right now. I’m sure you don’t need another person to tell you to wash your hands and stay inside if you can but I do want to say that distracting yourself is a perfectly valid response to a situation you can’t do anything else about. I’m gonna say, if you’re into theater, check out the Six soundtrack if you haven’t already. It’s a whole bop (with a side of some history). Anyway, stay safe y’all. 

This episode, Adaine and Riz each rolled one Nat 1, Gorgug rolled two with one being cancelled out, and no one rolled any Nat 20s because it’s Bad Kid suffering hours baybee.

[squidbatts]

your funny mouth to the clouds

Or: Fabian stresses, confesses, and gets some kisses in

((The last couple of Fantasy High episodes have been Buckwild but IN THIS HOUSE we ignore current canon happenings to write about fabian wanting to kiss ragh and then getting to kiss ragh!!! because i crave ragh/fabian content even if i have to Do Everything Myself))

{ao3}

Fabian Aramais Seacaster, son of Bill Seacaster, knows he’s hot; it’s kind of his whole thing, being a charming, roguish pirate, as dangerous as he is dashing. So, obviously, it makes complete sense that he and Gorgug would be Ragh’s dream makeout partners. They’re all hot athletes and they spend a decent amount of time together, he gets it.

It shouldn’t even be a thing.

Except that Fabian can’t stop thinking about it. When Ragh lances a demon through the eye and then turns to grin at Fabian, manic, muscles straining his letterman jacket, he thinks about it; when Fabian’s trying to teach the party literally anything about the sea and Ragh slides in right next to him, body a point of warmth on Fabian’s left side as he points at completely the wrong part of the map, he thinks about it; when Ragh tears off his shirt and leaps into the water with Fabian, throws a glistening and sea-wet arm over Fabian’s bare shoulders, tugs Fabian into his sculpted chest as he laughs-

The point is, Fabian keeps thinking about it.

Which is why he thinks he should be excused for asking Kristen for advice; she is, after all, their “token gay friend"; the rest of his close friends are straight, so she’s really the only one he can ask.

“Kristen,“ Fabian starts one afternoon when it’s just the two of them on the roof, “You know about gay stuff, right?“

Kristen lights up. “I don’t know if you know this-“

“I do, you say it all the time-“

“-but I’m gay!“ Kristen finishes like she doesn’t come out over breakfast every morning. “So yeah, I do.“

“Awesome, great, listen, I have a question. Have you ever- hm.“ Fabian cuts himself off with a hum as he attempts to word it correctly. He decides to try another route. “Do you think Ragh is attracted to me?“

“Oh, for sure,“ Kristen says and, even though he already knew that, Fabian chokes on air in surprise at her surety. “He’s really into the whole ’straight boy jock’ thing and, I’m a lesbian, but even I know that you’re objectively the hottest person in our party. You and Fig are the hot ones.“

“Obviously,“ Fabian replies, kneejerk.

“Yeah, so, duh. Why do you ask?“ Kristen asks, and Fabian-

Fabian falters because, obviously, he wants to get to the bottom of why he can’t just forget about Ragh’s proposition like Gorgug has, but the idea of talking about it, of telling Kristen makes his stomach twist. Something about it makes him feel weird, the same way he feels weird whenever he thinks about Ragh wanting to kiss him.

“He just said something and I-“ Fabian waves a hand dismissively. “Nevermind, it doesn’t matter.“

Kristen’s eyebrows furrow and she places a hand on Fabian’s arm, firm but still kind. “If you’re uncomfortable with a gay man simply being attracted to you, you’re the asshole here. But listen, Jawbone has some pamphlets about it and we can totally work this out-“

“I’m not uncomfortable, I just wanted to know if he had said anything to you,“ Fabian says, the words quick and awkward in his mouth. Maybe I am uncomfortable, He considers. Maybe the twisting how of his gut and the heating of his face are merely symptoms of his discomfort. He’s always been fine with Kristen and Tracker, he was fine with Ragh when he told them about Dane, but maybe he just thought he wasn’t homophobic until it directly affected him.

Kristen stares at him silently for a second, tilting her head as her eyebrows raise. “Huh. Never would’ve guessed that.“ She says, then, “Well, actually, I maybe would’ve because you’re like, supernaturally obsessed with your appearance, but stereotyping is bad and all that.“

“What are you talking about?“ Fabian snaps, irritated with her vagueness. He realizes that he should’ve just gone to Adaine for help, she reads books and knows about a great many things, not to mention that it certainly would’ve been less of a tax on his patience than dealing with Kristen at her… Kristen-est.

“I think… I think you should talk to Ragh,“ Kristen says, and then continues on quickly before Fabian can get the horrified Absolutely not out of his mouth. “No, listen, this is really something that would go best if you just, like, talked to Ragh about it, I think. And like, I rolled a seventeen on persuasion, so you kind of have to.”

Fabian, not blessed in wisdom, fails his saving throw and has to admit that Kristen’s point is pretty compelling. Still, “I don’t even know where Ragh is right now.”

Kristen gives him a look that clearly says We all live in the same vanboat, you have to know that he’s less than three minutes away. She leans away from Fabian and, still holding eye contact, yells into the van, "Hey, Ragh, Fabian wants to talk to you!"

"Kristen, no," Fabian hisses. Kristen just grins back at him.

"Kristen, yes!" She says, "You will so thank me for this."

Fabian is still cursing Kristen's name when Ragh climbs up to join them on the roof. He's wearing his normal jeans but has elected to leave his letterman jacket in the van. Probably a good idea, Fabian thinks, eyes involuntarily drawn to the sheen of sweat over Ragh's biceps as Ragh stretches before he sits. It's been hot all day, but Fabian would bet gold that it's gotten hotter in the past five minutes. He certainly feels rather feverish, suddenly.

"What's the problem, bro?" Ragh asks when he settles down. Kristen makes a face at him from behind Ragh's back and mouths Take my advice!!!! When he pretends not to notice and instead stares pointedly at the sea, she huffs loudly.

"Well, I'm going to go back into the van, I'm real tired," She says, obnoxiously obvious. Fabian makes a face back at her when Ragh turns towards her. "I'll, uh,see you guys later. Don't even worry about everyone else, I'll keep 'em down there."

Fabian tries to infuse enough That is absolutely not what I want! and Don't leave us alone! into a single glare to make her stay, but she just winks at him, like she's a bard or something, which of course makes Ragh turns back to Fabian, puzzled.

"What was all that about?"

"It's nothing, really," Fabian says, forcing lightness into his voice as he waves a hand, as though all this awkwardness could be as easily dispelled as Fig's cigarette smoke. "Kristen is just being dramatic."

Ragh frowns, his dark eyes are stormily serious. Fabian's heart skips a beat. "We're bros. And bros don't have to lie about their feelings, right?"

"... Right."

"Dude." Ragh says as he punches Fabian's arm, clearly about to get started on the Jawbone taught me emotional vulnerability and now I think everyone should do it spiel. Fabian's already heard it at least one time apiece from Kristen and Adaine, and he still thinks he's good on the emotions front, thank you very much. Still, his stomach flips even now with nerves, and he thinks of how Kristen thought that talking with Ragh would sort him out. As truly awful as he imagines it will be, he wonders if Kristen has a point, just this once.

"Alright, alright!" He concedes, "I suppose we can talk about my feelings."

"Awesome!" Ragh grins lopsidedly, shifting to sit lotus style, his full attention on Fabian. "Now, what's up?"

A feeling rises in Fabian's chest, like his ribcage is stuck in a vice, and he feels nearly sick with guilt. Here Ragh is, so kindly and sincerely devoting his attention to Fabian, and Fabian's body can't even relax enough to appreciate it.

"I think I owe you an apology," Fabian says, and before Ragh can respond, he rushes on with, "I think I might be homophobic, but I'm going to work on it and be a better friend for you and Kristen, and I'm very sorry."

Ragh's opens and closes his mouth wordlessly a few times, tusks catching on his upper lip. "I- what?"

Fabian sighs huffily and explains, how he's felt weird and off-kilter since Ragh's proposition and Kristen's offered explanation. Ragh listens thoughtfully, brow furrowed and a hand on his chin. He's still frowning as Fabian finishes his tale and Fabian fights the urge to fidget under the scrutiny.

"I don't think you're homophobic, dude," Ragh says, eventually. He sounds like he's choosing his words carefully, like he's walking on eggshells, and Fabian aches to think that he's made Ragh think that he has to do that.

"Of course I am, what else could it be?" Fabian asks, and Ragh screws up half of his face. "See! I made you uncomfortable with my- weirdness. I'm sorry."

"No, no, I'm not uncomfortable, I'm just trying to… Reconcile some things. Sort stuff out in the old noggin." Fabian tries not to look too doubtful but Ragh must've aced his insight check because he sighs and continues, "Listen, this has got to be weird for you too, I mean, obviously it is if you think you're a homophobe, but I think there's a pretty easy way to figure out what your discomfort means."

"And what would that be?" Fabian asks snipily, turning away. He doesn't like apologizing in the first place, much less when the other person won't just accept it.

"Feel free to say no, but I figured you could just try kissing me." Ragh says, and Fabian’s head whips back to him. Ragh lifts up his hands defensively. “Full disclosure, I think you’re super hot so I'm definitely getting something out of this, but if you can't stop thinking about it… It couldn't hurt, could it?"

Ragh shrugs as he lays his offer down and Fabian-

Fabian's heart pounds like he's in the middle of a Bloodrush play as heat pools in his face and his stomach. He hadn't ever considered actually kissing Ragh, but now that it's on the table, something deep within him twists with want.

"One kiss?" Fabian asks, trying to will away his blush, "I wouldn't be… Opposed."

"Uh-uh, none of that. I need a definite yes or no, bro," Ragh says, "I don't want to pressure you into this."

Fabian feels his flush flare hotter and squeezes his eyes shut. The deep buried part of him has rapidly expanded and spread throughout his body, leaving his fingers twitching towards Ragh and his lips tingling with anticipation. He can't imagine saying no, but to say yes also seems almost insurmountable. He opens his eyes, sees how softly Ragh smiles and the patience in his eyes, and it feels like someone's reached into Fabian's chest and twisted. Fabian nods, excessively, embarrassingly, then says, "Yes, yes, I'd like to try it-" before Ragh is upon him like the tide on a beach.

It's different from kissing Aelwyn; there's no bitter taste of alcohol or sticky-sweet lipgloss, no, Ragh's lips are chapped and he tastes of salt from days at sea, but it's still so much. Ragh cups Fabian's head, gentle, but presses his mouth insistently forward, easily leading Fabian through the sweeping movements of a makeout. Fabian's heartbeat still thuds in his ears, but he can also hear Ragh's slow and steady breaths, feel how he nips Fabian's lips and smiles against Fabian's mouth. When it's over, when Ragh pulls back and Fabian embarrassingly chases after him for half a second, Fabian is breathing like he's been near-drowned.

"Still think you're homophobic?" Ragh asks, teeth flashing in the ocean sunlight, lips slick from Fabian. Fabian burns brightly.

"I have," Fabian clears his throat awkwardly. "A few other theories now."

Ragh laughs, full and perfect, throwing his head back. Fabian looks at the vast muscled expanse of his neck, realizes that the twist of his gut just means that he wants to press a kiss to the juncture of Ragh's jawline and neck, and thinks, Huh.

"Well, that was super fun," Ragh says, clapping Fabian on the back, "Always down to help a fellow Owlbear with a sexuality crisis, dude, just let me know if you wanna do that again."

Ragh heads back into the vanboat, whistling cheerfully, and Fabian waits until he's absolutely out of sight to raise a shaking hand to his lips. He feels a smile giddily crawling over his face and he buries his face in his hands rather than risk someone seeing him like that. He wonders, in a corner of his mind that's not fully busy simply rejoicing over getting his kisses in, if having a boyfriend is much different than having a girlfriend.

[titanias-stolen-shoes]

Crossing Paths: Part Four

Summary: Something happened to Ayda—she just doesn’t know it yet. With her internship at the Cross Points Public Library, absent mind but ever-present father, nothing feels out of place. That is, until she finds a journal in the library she can’t read and soon after a wild assortment of kids come in, asking for her help.

Together they work together to figure out their dreams, the journals, and whether they can figure their way back home from our world.

Read on AO3!

-

Ayda laid awake, wondering why she had avoided letting Garthy know the truth. She hadn’t lied to him. She never lied. She did, however, not tell them the whole truth. Just that loud teenagers had come to the library right as it was closing. They had laughed and joked that she should steer clear of them. “They’re probably a bunch of bad kids,” Garthy laughed, hopping off the table. “I’m joking, love, I’m sure they perfectly fine. Don’t be afraid to talk to them if you want to.”

“They seem… normal. And I can’t always be sure that what I say or do is normal.”

“Oh, love,” they said, flipping their dreads over their shoulder. “There no way to really know if what you say or do is normal, but it’s not just you. Everyone is worried about if what they’re doing is normal. You just have to be yourself and if you’re worried about it, take cues from someone you like.”

They left after that, leaving Ayda to cook dinner for her Arthur. After an hour of waiting, she made him a plate in the microwave and went to her room. She had planned to sleep early so she could have enough energy for tomorrow, whatever it might bring. Instead, she tossed and turned, unable to sleep.

It wasn’t that she was nervous about meeting the other kids. In fact, she was excited. It would be nice to talk to other people her age. In school most people avoided her, saying she was “weird and hard to talk to”. She did her best not to talk as much after that. No, it actually wasn’t the kids. She was nervous about the journal. Not only did it incapacitate her, she learned nothing from the experience other than it was painful to try to read. And for them to come back to it, determined to figure out… she couldn’t imagine why they were after it.

The next morning, she walked to the library doors with heavy bags under her eyes, ready to call Rawlins to let her in. Before she could get to her phone, she saw a note on the door.

Ayda

Sorry for the short notice, but the library has been closed for the day. I will be back tomorrow afternoon. Enjoy your day off!

- Rawlins

She stared at the note, irritated and squinting. It didn’t make any sense to have the library suddenly be closed. As far as anyone knew, Rawlins didn’t do much outside of running the library. Unless it was library-related and he just forgot to tell her.

Behind her, a van rounded the corner into the parking lot, parking as close to the door as possible. All six of the kids she’d seen spilled out of the van, with two new additions (another tall man and a short girl with messy hair) surprised to see Ayda standing at the door.

Adaine shaded her eyes from the sun and said, “Are we too early?”

“Yes, but it doesn’t matter. The library is closed.”

“Really?” Her shoulders sagged in disappointment. “We came all the back for nothing. Do you know when it’ll be open?”

“Tomorrow afternoon.”

“Really?” Riz perked up, turning back to the van and grabbing his backpack. “Ayda, how do you feel about breaking and entering?”

“Ooh yes,” The punk girl clapped her hands, grinning. “I love it when we do illegal stuff.”

“Oh, hell yeah.” The new tall one grinned. “Do you need me to stand watch?”

“I don’t feel comfortable with illegal activity.” Then she paused, thinking about Garthy and how whatever it was they did, was probably very illegal. “Let me rephrase I am not comfortable with most illegal activity. Why are you all so interested in the journal?”

They were all quiet for a moment, exchanging looks then the tallest one piped up saying, “We’re not gonna get inside if we don’t tell her.”

“Yeah,” the redhead said. “There were letters that we found under Fabian’s house. We were just goofing around and there was a box hidden underneath a bunch of crap. Anyway, all these letters were addressed to us. There was a lot of weirdly specific stuff in them. Like how me and Tracker—”

“Babe, not that,” Tracker cut in. “It was weird, so we asked his parents about it and they both said the pages were blank. No one but us could see them.”

“And if we tried to read each other’s letters they wouldn’t make any sense. It would be a jumble of words that made no sense. And the only correlation any of them had was the Cross Points Library. So, we’re here to see if we can figure this out.”

“I see.” Ayda crossed her arms, quietly processing what they said. Much like the journal, what they said shouldn’t have been possible. And yet they were here, at a library in the middle of summer when they all (well, most) looked like they wouldn’t go near a library if they had a choice.

“Do you not believe us?”

“I do. I’ll overlook this transgression if you all introduce yourselves to me.”

They all stared for a moment before one by one looking a little embarrassed. Adaine smiled a little before pointing to each of her friends, “Tracker, Kristen, Riz, Gorgug, Fabian, Fig, and Ragh.”

“I’m Ayda. There are cameras pointed at this door. Follow me to the back.”

“So, Ayda,” Adaine said, doubling her pace to keep up with Ayda. “How long have you been working here?”

“A little under a month. I work an internship so I technically employed here.”

“Tell me you’re at least getting paid.”

“I am. I won’t work for free even if it’s work I enjoy. Equal exchange is important.”

“Hmm. Then our names were equal exchange for letting us break in?”

“Yes, I don’t know very many people my age and I’m also curious about the journal.” They stopped at the back of the building, less grand that the front and no cameras to catch what they were about to do. Ayda squatted down, feeling along the stone for a familiar carving. Almost toward the bottom, she pressed in on the one she’d carved an ‘A’ on and it came out of its place, leaving a perfectly size hole for her to pull the trick door open.

Riz looked far too excited as he picked up the stone and started to examine it. “How did you know about this?”

“Last year I spent almost all of my free time here.” She held her hand out and he gently gave her the brick. “A great deal of that time was spent wandering.”

They all shuffled in, watching their head on the low entrance and into the sublevel of the library. The door let out in the boiler room which was near inaccessible to people who didn’t know that the bookshelves on the far right didn’t touch the walls. Ayda wasn’t normally allowed in here for obvious reasons, but Rawlins had shown her just in case.

The room was as messy as the first time she had seen it. Boxes were haphazardly stacked against the far wall and an old workbench was shoved off to the right.

“Hey,” Fabian said, moving toward the pile of boxes. “This is the exact same box we found our letters in. The exact same.” He shifted the boxes on top and pulled out a small wooden chest with the same set of wings on the journal burned onto the top. Next to it, carved roughly, was a bass guitar.

“It’s locked,” Riz said, swinging his backpack off. “I’ll open it.”

“I’ll go get the books. Both of them are down here with us.” Ayda moved away from their group to the door. There was just enough space between the bookshelf and the wall that the door wouldn’t hit it. She grabbed Daya’s journal easily, always remember where it was. The second book was a little harder to find. Not that she didn’t know where it was, but every time she looked in that direction, she found herself looking elsewhere.

“Ayda!” Adaine popped out from behind the bookshelf, looking a little surprised. “I wanted to see where they were. The books.”

“Alright.”

“So… do you always spend your time here?”

“No. When I’m not here, I’m at home or helping my father with his research.”

“That sounds fun. Listen, I don’t have many… bookish people in my life.”

“Why? Are you hard to be around?”

“Uh, no, I— No? Are you hard to be around?”

“Yes. I’ve been told that many times.”

“Oh. Do you want a friend?”

They stopped in front of the shelf and Ayda turned to face Adaine. She looked sincere, fiddling with her crystal necklace. “Desperately.”

“I’ll be your friend. Would you like to hold my frog?” From her bag, she produced a small, plush frog. It was as spherical as one could make a frog without it being unrecognizable. It was cuter than it had any reason to be.

“I don’t take presents. I have nothing to give in exchange.”

“It’s not a present. I need Boggy.” She held him out and slowly Ayda took the plush. He was soft and Ayda felt calmer holding him.

“Magnificent.” Ayda gave him back and turned to the shelf, one her eyes had been scampering away from. In the very back of the autobiography section was the second book, but this one was three composition notebooks glued together. Messily written on the front was the name Iggy Fathe.

“Why is that so hard to look at?”

“I do not know.” Ayda frowned, trying to keep her gaze pinned to the name. It looked… wrong. Like it was missing something and she couldn’t place what.

“Adaine! Ayda!” Kristen’s voice called out from the other side. “We got the box open!”

“Maybe someone else will be able to look at it.”

Back in the boiler room, they were all crowding around the box, looking at a bundle of papers along with a few pictures. The pictures were blurry, but not in a way that would indicate whoever was taking them had been bad at it. No, the pictures were just blurry to her eyes and it made her not want to interact with them.

“Here’s your letter. No one but you can read it. And maybe Adaine depending.”

“Adaine?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know why, but I’m the only one who can sort of read everyone else’s letters. I can’t make out much, but I did make out enough to get us here.”

“Impressive.” Ayda unfolded the bunded of papers and felt… odd. Like something in her shifted out of place and back. Not like the journal, but almost a feeling of nostalgia.

She picked one of the boxes and settled down to read her letter.

-

Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four

[dullgecko]

(Journalist Riz)

When Riz gets nominated for an award, he gets a plus one to the ceremony. Who do you think Riz would invite?

As much as he loves them all, I think Riz would probably either pick Sklonda, Adaine or Gorgug; depending on who is available. Maybe Fabian, but it all depends. Fig and Kristen are no gos.

Riz had gotten home before his mom that day, stopping by the mailbox in the lobby of the appartment to grab their mail before heading upstairs. It was mostly junk mail, a couple of bills (which he pocketed so he could pay them himself before his mom saw them) and weirdly enough a letter addressed directly to him.

It was suspicious. No one ever sent him letters. Riz flipped it over in his hand to look at the back (no return address, hand delivered obviously) before he felt the envelope between his fingers. Noting the weird texture and thickness of whatever was inside before giving a slight bend. Whatever it was had multiple pages enclosed plus at least one or two pages that were shorter than the edges of the rest.... this warranted some investigation. He wasn't about to open a weird letter without checking it for traps first.

Once he was securely in his apartment he placed the envelope on the kitchen table, first trying detect magic before starting on the usual trap-detection routine he had to go through every time he got an info packet from his rogue classes. The goblin found nothing. It was just a normal, untrapped, suspicious letter.

Now that he was relatively sure it wouldn't explode in his face he ripped it open, Riz digging one of his sharp claws under the flap an tearing a neat line along the top so he could access the contents. He slid the thinner pieces of paper out first, surprised that he was holding two glossy VIP tickets to an award ceremony in Bastion City in his hand. The letter that accompanied them getting unfolded and read quickly as he searched for the reason why.

Oh.... well. Wow okay.

He glanced at the tickets again, quickly digging out his crystal so he could bring up the website for the ceremony and scroll through the list of nominees. Yep. There he was. 'Riz Gukgak - nominated for his piece exposing the unethical hunting of sapient species for level grinding in the Mountains of Chaos'.

There was a fairly substantial cash prize if he won too and he honestly didn't think he'd ever held that much money in one go before (saved for the cursed coins in Kalvaxus's hoard, and that didn't count in his mind).

The rogue flopped heavily onto his couch, still clutching the letter and tickets in one hand and his crystal in the other while he stared at the ceiling. Sure he was aware his article had been popular, the Bastion City Newspaper having bought it from him for a decent amount of money, but he didn't think it was that good. He'd written it on a whim, something he'd discovered incidentally while working a different job for the LPRTF that had left him with a lot of information buzzing around in his head but nowhere to put it other than into an article. This was... wild.

He glanced at the letter and tickets again, holding them up and snapping a photo before sending a text with the picture to his mom.

//Hey. I've been nominated for an award. You free Thursday night next week? They sent me a ticket for a plus one.//

//Honey thats amazing! Of course! I'll let work know I won't be free. We can discuss details when we get home. I'm so PROUD of you.//

Riz laughed, flicking over to the group chat as well to update his friends and getting a swarm of similar texts, though they were more packed with emojis than his mothers had been. It had been Fig that noticed the second ticket, the archdevil reposting the picture into the chat after circling the extra ticket in red.

//Omg who are you taking as your plus one?! Do you have someone you want to ask out maybe? >:3//

//No. Dude. I've already asked my mom.//

//Lol figured. You'll have to tell us how it goes! Down to the second updates.//

The next few days had been hectic. Between school and work he had barely any downtime as it was but Fabian had insisted he get a new suit for the ceremony. Riz had protested that his normal suits were fine but he apparently had no say in the matter, the half elf saying it was a gift to congratulate him on his success and basically dragging him from store to store in his quest for the best. The girls had kidnapped his mom though, something he found out after he got home (arms overloaded with a new suit, and shoes, and socks, and cufflinks) and found his mother in a similar state of overwhelemed overshopped exhaustion surrounded by her own pile of clothes.

And so the day of the awards ceremony came, Sklonda getting a little teary eyed on seeing Riz in his outfit because he looked so much like his father. They were hustled quickly into the dark theatre once they arrived, the pair of them sitting through nearly an hour of speeches and awards before Riz's own catagory was announced.

He felt a little out of his own body when they announced that he'd won, heavy feet making their way up onto the stage to accept his award and cheque and got ready to make his speech. The rogue blinking in surprise when he noticed his party seated near the far back of the room waving wildly at him as he gave them a confused look.

Of course they were here. He shouldn't have ever doubted that they WOULD be. Between Fabians connections and Figs ability to get into places she shouldn't there was no way they'd miss out on this.

Riz shook his head in amusement, giving them a small wave back before clearing his throat to speak. Having to take a few seconds before he was finally able to get the words out.

[escapistcatontheinternet]

I’m having Feelings about fantasy high y’all

Like fabian and aelwyn as the hot comphet (on aelwyn’s part) couple that everyone envies/worries about bc they are Kinda Very Bad. He knows everyone’d be fine with him liking boys and girls but there’s still a shouty sort of voice that mocks him when he thinks about that he’s living the Peak Teenage Life and he’s so god at everything but he still reaches for a bit of Papa’s approval he worries he still can’t hold onto. Fabian doing the whole reinvention thing in the middle of high school while still mourning his father and killing toxic masculinity and dealing with the manifestation of his fears (gilear) living in his house and banging his mom on the regular. I love my boy but he ha strong Pre-teenage-burnout vibes and i just-

Speaking of burnouts, Riz pulling all That Shit w the late nights and coffee and dangerous situations just slowly unraveling himself over the next mystery and he’s seen heaven and it’s p chill so he can’t really care if he drives a Little too fast or gets a Little too close to the fire. His need to keep busy, no matter what, not sleeping because he doesn’t Have Time. And him figuring out first that, while he’s not and maybe never going to be horny for anybody, that he likes Fabian an awful lot and maybe wouldn’t hate kissing him (this happens after he wakes up in another conspiracy pile).

Fig dealing with the Inevitable crash of being a teenage rockstar focused on Rebellion. There’s always a camera on her now, a curse and a safety net of someone else when she’s sure she’s not enough. Blurting out her feelings in the wrong place and the wrong time and she feels so much and she writes songs about reveling in that chaos but she can’t (also how her reluctance for intimacy is slowly broken down into pieces by ayda. like sitting on the roof at an ungodly hour in the mring, tracing out each other’s hands and faces and finding where they can stand to be touched). 

Gorgug with all of his rage in a body he doesn’t quite fit in, all limbs and no brain and no consideration and that just makes him want to punch something or just stay still to prove them wrong (he usually punches something). The fear he’s going to spiral out of control someday and hurt somebody, being extra gentle with everyone like an apology in advance. He’s always ready to apologize because he’s always sure he’s gonna fuck it up. It’s kinda why he and Fig could tour together, the quiet solidarity of not knowing if they were just faking it. Liking the quiet touches of Zelda, she’s his capital-G-Girlfirend that he capital-L-Likes then the confusion about being drawn to Ragh’s loud support, unfailing, confident and steady

Kristen is still confused, of course, even with a direction and a goddess and a goal. She keeps setting goals, things for her to figure out and achieve, because then it’s the safety net that doubt had taken away, something to fall into, inevitabilities. And of course she still hated herself a little bit. Nothing is infallible in a world of doubt, especially not St. Kristen Applebees. It’s the special guilt of someone who grew up in religion, the sort of guilt that garners guilt just for the guilt itself and also for finding comfort in Tracker, a squirming feeling she fears will never go away. Tracker’s so free so she doesn’t know how to tell her, so she just squeezes their fingers together tighter to squash it.

My girl Adaine having to make big Decisions about people and information and power she didn’t ask for. Feeling weak, reaching out, panicking, drawing back in to seek comfort in solitude. Memorizing the names of all the feelings buzzing in her head, reciting definitions and clutching them even as her breath comes fast out of nowhere. Adjusting everything in her room three times because her parents will get mad she likes it that way, flinching when her sister comes sometimes, and the guilt at seeing aelwyn’s face fall, talking in hushed tones to riz about not knowing how to put words to the fact she doesn’t want to be touched like That, or loved like That

...just the Bad Kids, y’all

[mattzerella-sticks]

Natural One (Fabian Seacaster/Riz Gukgak, 5.8k)

5 times Fabian rolled a natural one, and one time Riz rolled a nat 20

Fabian and Riz stand with their backs against each other - well, with Riz’s head pillowed by his lower back - surrounded by tiny gnomes baring their tools menacingly. Hammers and saws meant for building were slowly tearing them and their friends apart. One lucky swipe slashed his arm and earlier one of their attackers bashed Riz’s knee in. For tiny creatures they have a ginormous ruthlessness to them.

If they survive this, Fabian will bind Fig’s hands together with enchanted chains. So she can never again anger a room full of sleep-deprived mechanics by pressing the only button that would destroy their hard work.

“Why would you even make a button for that!” Fig screamed, swinging her guitar wildly, “It’s like hanging a piano with fraying rope. One way or another it was getting smashed!”

“Less pointing the finger and more apologizing !” Adaine said, tossing up a shield to block the flurry of screws pelting her.

Now while their friends handle the main engineer, Riz and Fabian stay with the stragglers.

“I never thought it would end like this,” Riz mutters, fingers twitching against his trigger, “After so many close calls… taken down by a bunch of gnomes hopped up on coffee and Adderall.”

“Don’t say that Riz,” Fabian says. He glances at the smaller boy, attempting a reassuring smile. “We’re adventurers. We have the final say on when we perish… and that day is certainly not today.”

Riz meets his stare, mirroring his expression. “Thanks, Fabian.” The words drift towards Fabian’s heart and wraps around it, squeezing. The uptick of his mouth feels more genuine. While he has confidence in his premier abilities and skills, Riz’s support is a special kind of blessing. A gift far greater than any Kristen’s terminally positive deity could give. His faith in Fabian is unshakeable, even when some of his actions and misadventures were questionable.

Why he never realized he loved the eager goblin sooner Fabian blames on tunnel vision. Too focused on aiming for precise points on the dartboard that he completely missed the bull’s-eye.

Once he realized where he should be firing, though, his aim faltered.

Fabian faced the encroaching gnomes, ready to fight. He crouches and leaps, twisting over the pack blocking him. Picturing how amazing he must look - twirling in the air, fluorescents flashing behind and casting him in a vengeful shadow, preparing to swing, slash, and drop his enemies.

Except he lands wrong. Foot sliding, Fabian falls to the floor. His sword flies elsewhere, wrung from his hands. The last thing he hears before succumbing to swirling darkness was Riz calling his name.

It doesn’t make him feel as warm as it did seconds earlier.

He comes to surrounded by the other Bad Kids. “It’s all smoothed over,” Gorgug says, “I managed to convince the boss that Fig blowing up their machine was a good thing.”

“Helped that he thought you were his son,” Fig chuckles, elbowing him in the ribs, “Seriously, who knew so many gnomes adopted orcish orphans? Apparently it’s really big in the gnomish community.”

Gorgug whines, “But he’s not my dad!”

“Honestly?” Kristen says, leaning on her staff, “It was a little touch and go there.”

Adaine nods, “I saw you mumbling to yourself. ‘No, it can’t be… three dads is too many’.”

“I got there in the end, that’s all that matters!”

Fabian sits up, waving his hands and cutting into their argument. “Wait a minute! It was that easy? But what about the other gnomes we were fighting?”

“They stopped pretty quickly after their boss offered them paid time off,” Riz tells him, “After you went down -”

“Which I took pictures of,” Fig adds, “very funny.”

“After you went down,” Riz repeats, “the gnomes closed in and were about to end me. But when the gang rushed in with the PTO forms they rushed home.”

“I can’t believe I got knocked out almost as the fight was over,” Fabian groans, “What did I even slip on?”

“Some loose nuts and bolts.”

Fabian slams his head into his knees, hoping the concussive blow could force him unconscious once more. “Please,” he says into his legs, “No one speak of this.”

“Too late,” Fig says, “I already texted it to the entire school.”

All he wanted was to impress Riz. He surely wouldn’t find a laughingstock that worthy of his affections.

The Hangman sped in as the group said their goodbyes, promises to meet up tomorrow and discuss their findings. Fabian couldn’t leave fast enough.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Coach Gorthalax stressed how important this game was for the Owl Bears. Winning this meant that they would advance to regional championships, playing bloodrush against some of the top schools across the lands. And with their final competition being the boys from Hudol, there wasn’t any doubt they’d move forward.

“Even if their players are pale, nerdy weaklings, with so little muscle development they can barely hold up their books,” Gorthalax said during the huddle, “I don’t want you slacking. Being lazy now is just the thing that’ll give them an edge over us. If we all focus we’ll win and have a good time!”

“Yeah!” Ragh screamed, pounding his helmet against his chest, “Let’s go and mutilate the other team! Woo!”

“See, now that’s some great enthusiasm,” Gorthalax wags his clipboard at the orcish player, “I want to see that from all of you. Now let’s hear some hoot growls. Hoot Growl! Hoot Growl!”

“Hoot Growl! Hoot Growl! Hoot Growl!”

A stampede of cleats and warcries filled the pitch as Fabian and the other Owlbears stormed the field, startling the opposing team as they sipped at their tea. Watching a biscuit drop and crumble onto the grass made Fabian grin, an omen for how the game would play out.

Hudol didn’t stand a chance. The Owlbears played to their strengths. Fabian and Ragh never let them have the ball, and on the off chance they did Gorgug tackled them once they stepped foot near the goal. Height and long limbs had their advantage when guarding. Riz helped by confusing them, rolling up into a little ball and jumping into their arms. Sometimes a Hudol boy ran towards Gorgug only to find Riz in his arms smiling. Distracted, they never saw Gorgug until it was too late. They high-fived over the prone figure below them.

Halfway into the third quarter, though, Riz sat on the sidelines. Helmet off and chatting with Fig, their assistant coach and manager. He didn’t think a student could hold such a position, but one day during practice she came in with a whistle and two hats - ‘Ass Coach’ stitched onto one and ‘Womanager’ on the other.

“Is this allowed?” Gorgug asked, “What did Principal Aguefort say about this?”

“He liked my moxy and wanted to know if  I could be coach as well,” Fig said, smirking, “I told him thanks but assistant coach and manager were already enough. Then he did a bump of cocaine, offered me some, and hopped out of his office window.”

Riz arched a brow. “You didn’t take it did you?”

“What are you, a cop?” she huffed, rubbing her nose.

They were most likely discussing plays and maneuvers. Fig surprised him with her skills in both roles she took on. During practices she pushed them harder and further than even his mother during sword practice. Outside the field Fig kept their successes circulating in the school paper and once, for an overnight away game. booked them the nicest motel.

“I didn’t think the school had the budget for something this fancy,” Fabian said while waiting in one lobby with its own water feature. Gorthalax spoke with the lady behind the front desk while the others ran to their rooms.

“Oh it doesn’t,” Fig said, “That’s why I used Gilear’s credit card. Not like he’s spending money on anything other than yogurt.”

Caught up in the memory he doesn’t see the leg of  Hudol player until he’s tripping on it. The ball in his hands goes flying.

Luckily an Owlbear snatches it and powers through over to the Hudol goal. Fabian glares, shoving the boy who tripped him as he stood.

Ragh jogs over to him and slaps his shoulder. “Head in the game, Seacaster. Hoot Growl!”

“Yes, yes - Hoot Growl!” The teams move to set up for the next match after the Owlbears scored their latest goal. Fabian waits in the middle for the referee's whistle. Glancing over to the bench he sees Riz staring at him intently. Under such intense scrutiny forces a blush to settle on Fabian’s cheeks. Trying to will it away only causes him to miss the whistle and see Hudol steal their ball.

“Get it!” Gorthalax screams, “Get the ball!”

Fabian spins and chases the player, bulleting over. Leaping forward Fabian tackles the other boy and rolls with him until he’s crushed underfoot. Grabbing the ball back, he takes a moment to appreciate the cheers erupting from all around. The stands go crazy. He spots a sign held aloft by Adaine and Kristen, both girls stamping their feet in excitement. On the bench Fig is shouting at him, but he can’t notice over the pride glowing from Riz’s face.

He craves more of it. “This one’s for you, Riz,” he says, and charges towards the goal. Fabian slams the goalkeeper to the side and scores a point. Overcome with delicious victory, Fabian throws the ball and begins dancing.

Suddenly someone knocks him to the ground.

Ragh rages over him, teeth bared and drool leaking from his mouth. “You idiot,” he says, “you cost us a point!”

“What?”

Gorgug groans from his side. Craning his neck far enough, Fabian can see the taller boy hunched in on himself. Nursing his wound from the vicious attack he laid upon him.

“There goes our perfect game!” Ragh seethes, “You working against the Owlbears? Is it some kind of elf thing? Because if there’s one thing I don’t like it’s a traitor -”

“Get off of me!” Fabian says, shoving Ragh off of him. Standing he looks past his friend and notices the rest of the scene. His teammates glare at him, scowls hidden behind their helmets. The crowd flipped on him. They boo and taunt him, Adaine and Kristen hiding behind their hands. Gorthalax shakes his head while Fig breaks her clipboard with her knees and sets it aflame.

And Riz winces, as if the overwhelming embarrassment crushing Fabian was too painful to watch.

“Get it together,” Ragh shoves him, jogging over to the starting line, “We have a game to win.”

Owlbears triumph over Hudol with a wide margin. However the celebrations are muted since it wasn’t the landslide they were expecting. The locker room was silent where Fabian changed. No one clapped him on the back or flicked a towel in his direction in good cheer. What he did receive were fumbled assurances from Gorgug - who brushed off his apologies, saying there was no need - and Riz’s attempted jokes.

All Fabian wanted to do was crawl into his bed and die.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fabian sits at Riz’s table confusedly following the red strings criss-crossing the corkboard in front of him. “Wait, how is the Daycare connected to the Pixie smuggling ring?”

Riz sighs, sipping at his coffee. “Okay, so the Pixies…” He launches into another explanation, Fabian doing his best to focus. But like before he stops listening and instead focuses on how Riz’s mouth moves to shape his words. The way his hands flit around and, at times, shake so much Riz nearly drops his coffee. And when he turns to point at his work Fabian’s eyes drop low to appreciate how his slacks cling to his tush.

“And the money from their operations gets funnelled from the Daycare and into these shell accounts,” Riz finishes, facing Fabian again, “Do you get it now?”

He doesn’t trust his voice, so he nods.

Riz smiles. “Good. Then that’s exactly how I’ll explain it to the others when we see them tomorrow.”

Fabian returns it, fiddling with his own mug. Like always they and their friends were wrapped up in some serious trouble. This time Kristen, in trying to set up a physical location for her Church of Yes?, accidentally rented out a space that used to hold illegal artifacts between trades. They discovered this when Gorgug picked one up and unleashed an army of gremlins that wrecked the barren floor. After beating them and destroying the orb Riz sent the evidence to his mother.

Hearing how it was stolen piqued their interest, and once again launched them on another adventure.

A few days of serious investigation later the group reconnected and went over their findings, Riz taking it down and setting the clues on the corkboard. The night dragged on and one after another their friends dropped. Gorgug left first, promising to meet them at school in the morning. After him Adaine said she needed her rest and invited Fig to join her and Kristen for a sleepover.

“Sure,” she said, “can we have a few brewskis and kick it before we hit the hay?”

“I don’t know,” Adain shrugged, “we can always ask Jawbone?”

“Sick!”

That was over an hour ago. Fabian felt the siren call of sleep singing to him, tempting him with the wondrous beauty of sleep. He fought against it as he did everything in life; clawing tooth and nail for what he wants. In this moment it’s to share the cramped kitchen with Riz and his cluttered corkboard.

Riz settles in the seat across from him, pouring another cup of coffee. “You want me to top you off?”

Fabian shakes his head, pushing his mug away. “I really shouldn’t. Too much and I might not be able to hold my sword without it shaking.”

“You get used to it,” Riz says, “Years of drinking this stuff allowed me to take into account the jitters for when I’m shooting my gun.”

“How early did you start drinking coffee?”

“Same as everyone else. Five?”

Fabian bites his lip, unwilling to shatter the illusion for his friend. Instead he glanced behind him at the corkboard again. “I must say, that sure is something…”

Riz follows his gaze. Smiling, he leans into the chair and takes a huge gulp of his drink. “We did a lot of good work. I know officers who can barely think past their patrols who wouldn’t have been able to do this.”

“I think the real credit goes to you,” Fabian says.

The other boy directs his smile at him. “You think so?” he asks, a small tint to his cheeks. Seeing him fluster brings a rush of warmth racing up Fabian’s chest, and he hopes a blush isn’t blooming across his own face.

Everyone knows how deeply Riz loves detective work. Aside from how he dresses and the never-ending supply of mystery novels he keeps in his briefcase, Riz also treats everyday matters like an investigation. Once a water fountain broke and, before the janitor could react, Riz canvassed the area with caution tape and began questioning witnesses for motives. During lunch he explained how, using deductive reasoning, Riz found the stolen item in his Rogue class and where his teacher hid it.

“That’s amazing!” Fig cheered, “Now do Porter! Find out exactly what evil schemes he’s working on!”

No matter what situation they were faced with Riz approached each mystery with a ferocious tenacity for finding the answers. Not willing to rest until every stone was uncovered and the truth was set free. Fabian cannot count the amount of times Riz’s quick thinking saved them or helped them see an important piece of evidence they missed earlier.

With the way Riz’s eyes sparkle under the flickering light bulb, Fabian wants to tell him how much he values and appreciates him.

Instead, what comes out is this. “No one else is as this obsessed with mysteries than you, The Ball.” Wincing, Fabian pinches his thigh in disappointment. Especially when Riz’s face falls.

“Oh…”

“That, I didn’t…” Fabian sighs, scrubbing a hand down his face, “I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant to say at all.”

Riz tries to smooth his expressions, except Fabian can clearly see the lines marring his pretty face. “It’s late, I get it. Why don’t you turn in for the night?”

“Don’t you need my help?”

“It’s like what you said… I’m the only one obsessed enough to stay up this late. You don’t have to worry. I’ll crash on the couch if I need to.”

Fabian leaves, drained of any energy to stay and apologize. He shuffles over towards Riz’s room, closing the door behind him. Stepping over empty coffee mugs and sheaths of paper he stops at the smallish bed. Fabian strips off his jacket and jeans, folding them gently and leaving the pile on a clear space of floor. Then he curls up on the bed and wraps the wrinkled sheet around his shoulders.

There’s an ache in his chest where his heart is. Sleep won’t come until he’s finished lambasting himself for shoving his foot into his mouth. At least the smell from Riz’s pillow eases the blows, and gently cradles him as he drifts off into a dreamless sleep.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sitting at his desk, Fabian thinks that he finally found a way to confess his feelings to Riz.

He got the idea from his mother after a particularly grueling day of training. Fabian laid on the lawn, gasping for breath and waiting as Cathilda prepares a protein shake for him. Hallariel stands beside him, checking her makeup using her sword’s reflective surface as a mirror. A few feet away, sitting on a lawn chair, was Gilear. His mother’s boyfriend played keep away with a seagull who wanted his yogurt.

Turning away from a remarkably hilarious sight, Fabian asked his mother, “How did father win your heart?”

Hallariel shrugged, “With his passionate lovemaking.”

“ Mama !”

“What? You asked me a question and I answered it. Did I do something wrong ?”

“No, I…” Fabian sighed, leaning up on his elbows, “I wanted to know if there was anything he did that might have made you… swoon . Something sweet and romantic. ”

Hallariel’s gaze darted away from her face to her son, smirking. “Does my darling boy fancy a girl?”

“Mama…” Fabian ducked away, blushing, “it’s not a girl …”

“Even better,” she grinned, “now you won’t deal with the crushing disappointment when you realized she could never be as good as your mother.”

He rolled his eyes. “There’s no one who could be more perfect than you, mama,” he said, reaching forward to accept the shake from a returning Cathilda, “except maybe Cathilda. If you’re number one she’s definitely number two.”

“Bless your heart, you young thing,” Cathilda said, hand over her heart, “the sweetest you are.” She moves over to Halladriel, “What were you two discussing now?”

“Fabian wants to know if Bill ever did anything romantic,” Halladriel explains, “probably so he can use it for inspiration in winning over his little crush.”

“Oh! Why don’t you tell him about the letters?”

“Letters?” Fabian asked, “What letters?”

“The sweetest things they were,” Cathilda tells him, “your father, Bill Seacaster, would write these beautiful letters to your mother and send them whenever he was away for months on end. Whenever they arrived I’d always read them aloud as Haladriel drifted off to sleep.”

“Papa wrote you letters?” Fabian looked to Haladriel, “Why didn’t you remember this?”

She shrugged again. “Honestly I was toasted so much during my time with your father a lot of it is still a blur…”

Cathlida clapped, drawing their attention towards her again. “We still have them!” she said, “They’ve been put away, but I can dig them out for you if you’d like?”

“I would be delighted.”

Reading through the letters provided Fabian with a lot of details he didn’t need, learning that the beautiful prose was essentially foreplay for his parents. Imagining Cathilda read about his father’s length forced him to pause and spend the next few minutes hovering near the toilet. When he recovered Fabian focused on finding the little bits that weren’t explicit. Where his father compared his mother to the beauty of the sea or explaining how his newly earned riches would look better once locked away with his most valued treasure - his family.

While a letter was deemed gauche by today’s standards, Fabian found the practice intimate. Halfway through composing his own letter, though, he was hit with the worry that his letter wouldn’t arrive. Maybe on the way to his apartment it would be lost or damaged. Perhaps someone other than Riz opens it up? Squanda, to check and make sure the letter wasn’t a bomb. Fabian wouldn’t be surprised if Fig stole Riz’s mail that day and read his feelings, only to then tell Riz and butchering his meaning.

He succumbed to the anxiety and decided on a more direct approach. Fabian transferred his writings to his phone, finishing the letter there to send through text.

Re-reading it for the third time, Fabian realizes he needs to send it.

Fabian copies the text and switches from his notes app over to the messages. Working quickly while the courage of his father swims through his blood Fabian clicks on Riz and his messages. He pastes the text and sends it, slamming his crystal onto the desk face down.

Staring at it won’t make Riz respond faster, yet he cannot pull himself away. Each minute ticks by slowly the longer his crystal stays silent. Allowing for horrible images to flash across Fabian’s mind. Like Riz laughing and sending the letter to their friends, a highly impossible outcome. But the one where Riz spends time crafting the kindest rejection is unfortunately a sound possibility.

Suddenly his crystal flashes to life. Fabian snatches it with terrifying speed, opening the newest message.

It isn’t Riz.

Aelwen cooly thanks him for his devotion, offering him a night of passion if he’s willing to make the journey. Scrolling upwards he sees all the words that poured from his heart - sent to the wrong person.

He hadn’t talked to Aelwen since his disastrous attempt to free her. Fabian managed to follow through on his promise and fought for her freedom alongside the ragtag crew he gathered for the mission. Dodging spells and powering through guards, Fabian rode the Hangman and crashed through her cell. Then, after a kiss filled with searching hands and tongue, he helped her onto his motorcycle and fled to his ship.

Halfway across the Celestine Sea, Aelwen showed her true colors. Fabian found her preparing a dinghy for leave one starless night. He asked her where she was going.

“I’m leaving,” she said, “Is that not obvious?”

“But… but why?” Fabian asked, gut screaming as if stabbed. “We’re almost to Solace. And there we can be together… I - I thought…”

“You thought what?” Aelwen snickered, “You thought that I’d go with you because you freed me? Sorry to break it to you but I don’t slum it with trash, even if they’re somewhat cute and entertaining as you.”

Vision spinning, he staggered backwards. “W-what?”

“Thank you for all your help,” she said, untying the last rope, “But I must return to Fallinel. A friend offered me a room at her estate when I was free and I’ve kept her waiting long enough.” Hopping into the dinghy, Aelwen winked at him one last time. “Do tell my sister one thing for me? Even though she’s now an oracle she still can’t see what a colossal disappointment she is to the Abernant name. Farewell!”

The rope slips from her hands and she drops into the ocean, nothing left but the splash on her exit. Fabian doesn’t run to see her off, rooted to the deck as the pieces of his heart spear through his boots. When he collects them, Fabian shuffles towards his cabin and hides them until they reach shore.

His reception wasn’t well received. Adaine screamed at him until her voice was hoarse, pounding against his chest until she slumped over and was led away by Kristen. Fig and Gorgug didn’t say anything but kept their distance for the next few weeks. Only Riz stuck by his side.

The other boy sat with him after everyone left, understanding that Fabian had to go and see Aelwen. “Once you make up your mind about something,” Riz chuckled, “it’s hard getting you to change it.”

Riz’s words held no judgement. Even as Fabian confessed everything, including how Aelwen used and left him; he asked how that made him feel and hugged him through the rolling wave of depression that swelled inside.

Things returned to normal after a while. Adaine forgave him, and their group drifted together again. Except it wasn’t the same.

During the days Fabian and Riz were left alone he finally began to take notice of how special and important the goblin boy was to him.

So seeing how disastrously he messed up something as easy as a text, sending it to the worst person imaginable, turns his hopes into ash.

Fabian deletes the messages and leaves his phone on silent.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s now or never.

Fabian needs to take a leap of faith and lead with action. His father would chastise him thoroughly for how he’s tiptoed across the whole ordeal. Inviting embarrassment by tiptoeing around Riz. When he should do first and apologize later - if at all.

The group sits huddled together in Basrar’s, enjoying some milkshakes. Ever since Adaine freed him from his curse, Basrar has branched out to include other items in his menu besides various ice creams. To varying levels of success. While his milkshakes were delicious Fabian suffered at the hands of his chicken nuggets.

But they’re not slurping them as vigorously as they usually do. Too worn out from fighting pirates all day at Seacaster Manor.

His crew from the Aelwen misadventure came calling for Fabian, demanding their pay. He should have seen this coming since, bereft of any common sense by the heartbreak, he gave them a map rumored to lead to the grandest treasures of all. Except he drew it up in less than five minutes and water-logged it with tears.

When they finally discovered the ruse the ship set course for their newest mission - robbing the accumulated riches of Bill Seacaster.

Pirates were no match, of course, for the combined efforts of his friends, his mother and housekeeper. “And Gilear,” Halladriel added, standing over the corpses of their enemies, “we couldn’t have done it without his help.”

He glared at the sad elf his mother rubbed against, her hands tugging at his jacket. They knew Gilear added nothing of value to the battle save for the accidentally flung yogurt that sabotaged the cannon firing at them. Halladriel wouldn’t hear reason and began undressing Gilear in front of them.

“Best to run along, children,” Cathilda ushered them away, “Who knows how long they’ll be at it.”

Kristen swallowed her vomit. “Gross.”

“It’s not gross,” Fig defended her second father, “it’s good for him.”

“Well it’s awful for me,” Fabian hissed, “let’s go before we hear anything.”

“Oh!” Halladriel cried from a distance, a cold chill shooting up his spine, “You taste so sweet! What is that flavor?”

“Nothing too adventurous… just a simple vanilla mango yogurt…”

Fabian led them away with blinding speed. They decided on Basrar’s thirty minutes into their wandering, too sore to stay upright for long. Sliding into the booth the group ordered and enjoyed the calm environment. For once the group rested quietly, enjoying the silence.

It was so peaceful Fabian could think clearly for the first time in a while. An epiphany floated down from above and entered his spirit, imbuing it with strength.

Riz rests against his shoulder, skin tingling under his shirt and jacket. The smaller boy was injured pretty badly during the fight. Kristen’s healing only helped so much and Riz looks seconds away from sleeping. Kept awake only by the gentle shakes from Fabian every so often.

He wants to do this before sleep lulls him away, so Fabian softly whispers Riz’s name. Riz glances at him, frowning. “Yeah?”

“Riz, I…” A voice that sounds like his father cuts through his mind, telling him to stow his words. Show the other boy what he feels and steal a kiss. Cooling his nerves, Fabian leans down to do that. To capture Riz’s lips with his own.

But then something cold drips onto his nose.

“What’s th-” A blob slams into Fabian’s face and knocks him backwards, falling onto the floor. He curses and wipes the mess clear. Investigating what hit him, Fabian finds the culprit was a stray scoop of ice cream.

“Oh my God!” Fig screams, “it’s raining ice cream!”

Ice cream pelts their station, inspiring different reactions from the group. Unlike Fabian they cheered at the surprise dessert storm.

“How is this possible?” Adaine asked, chocolate ice cream melting on her head, “Our wish was already fulfilled?”

Basrar drifts over, smiling. “That is true, yes. However, I received a call from a man named Gilear asking that I serve you kids a treat so you would stay far from the Seacaster manor a bit while longer. He asked me if I could conjure some yogurt, but I told him that my magic does not create something so... sad . So then he asked if I could give you all frozen yogurt, which I could only assume was a strange way of saying ice cream!”

“Are you kidding me!” Fabian growls aloud, “How did Gilear even find out where we were?”

“I texted him,” Fig says, scooping ice cream off of Kristen’s shoulder. “Figured he’d want to know where we were in case more pirates came back.”

He groans as more ice cream pelts his prone body. Squinting one eye open Fabian sees all his friends save Riz enjoying the treat. Riz smiles down at him, fondness shining in his eyes. Fabian flushes, turning away from the stare.

Shoes squish onto the ice cream as Riz jumps out of his seat. He offers a hand to Fabian, “Need some help?”

Fabian answers by weakly taking Riz’s hand, pushing forward.

Instead of standing Riz tugs Fabian closer to him and slips an arm around his waist. Riz kisses Fabian, surprising him and earning catcalls from their friends. He ends their embrace, still smiling.

Fabian cannot wipe the shock from his expression. “Did you-?”

“Do what you should have done from the start?” Riz chuckles, “Yeah. Did you like it?”

“Did I like it -?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lou slams his fist on the table. “This is some bullshit,” he says, “How is it that I’ve spent countless games rolling nat 1’s trying to seduce you. And the first time you decide to flirt back you roll a nat 20. Bullshit!”

“I’m as surprised as you are,” Murph laughs along with the other intrepid heroes, “Usually my rolls are the crap ones.”

“Is that why you never helped out until now?”

Murph grins, winking. “Nah, I liked seeing how many times Fabian suffered.”

He scoffs, “You think that’s going to make me want to kiss you again?”

Brennan jumps into the conflict, shoulders shaking with contained laughter. “With a nat 20 Fabian and Riz begin making out in the storm of ice cream.”

“Oh come on!” Lou cries, “Fabian’s supposed to be the dashing hero! He had to make the first move! These dice are cursed.”

Emily shakes her head, cackling. “Could be worse. Riz could’ve rolled a nat 1 and we’d have to sit through another round of you trying and failingseduction rolls.”

“It’s not easy,” Lou argues, “Love to see you try and get a nat 20.”

“I so could,” she says, “you saw how hot and heavy me and Dr. Asha got. The next time we see him I’ll roll and ask him to marry him.” Brennan rolls some dice, drawing the group’s attention. He barks a quick laugh, looking to Emily. Her smile falls, “Uh oh, what?”

“All the commotion of raining ice cream and teens making out means the entire store is looking at your booth. Especially one seat at the bar where a dwarven doctor relaxed after a long shift at St. Owen’s Memorial Hospital,” Brennan explains, chewing on a chip he sneaked. “He walks over and, to Fig, asks, ‘Dr. Keller? Why are you hanging with these teens and not at home watching the kids?”

Lou erupts with laughter, leaning back in his seat and clapping. Emily scowls, grabbing for her dice. “What do I have to roll.”

“Let’s start with a deception.”

“Okay I’m good with deception…” She rolls, slapping her hand against the table. “I got a four. But that’ll be over a ten.”

“Say what you’re going to say.”

Emily clears her throat, shifting in her seat. “I needed a break from the kids and release the inner child in my heart with these… actual children?”

Brennan squints, head skewed to the side. “Dr. Asha is taken aback by that, slightly, but wants to believe in your relationship. ‘Did you at least get a babysitter’?”

“Yeah, yeah they’re fine…”

Lou turns to her. “So, are you gonna ask?”

“I’m getting to it, I’m getting to it…” Emily says, “So, Dr. Asha, I know we’ve been seeing each other, and we have kids… I think we should take this to the next level. I think we should get married.”

Brennan rolls another die. “Make a seduction roll, with disadvantage.”

“Fine.” Emily drops two dice on the table. Looking between the two, she screams and drops her head onto the table.

“What did you get?” Brennan asks.

Zac, at her side, uproariously laughs. “She rolled a twenty and a one.” They all hiss at the disastrous roll.

“A twenty,” Emily chuckles self-deprecatingly, “How can I split it this bad?”

Lou asks Brennan, “What happens?”

Brennan rolls a few more dice before smirking at Emily, doom curling his lips. “As you ask this Dr. Asha’s phone lights up with a call. He answers it, and the real Dr. Kelly speaks from the other end. Asking if he can bring home a pint of ice cream for the twins.”

“Oh, crap.”

“And,” the dice ominously tap against the table. “When he hangs up a couple enters Basrar’s - one elven ranger and the other a ginormous demon. It’s Sandralyn and Gorthalax!”

“Seriously?” Emily hisses, “How is this possible?”

“It’s possible because of the dice, baby,” Brennan says, “They see you and come over. Gorthalax starts up, ‘Fig! Oh, my lovely daughter, Fig. We didn’t know you’d be hear. Are you having fun? It’s so great to enjoy the days of youth before it’s all over. Being a high school student can truly be some of the best times of your life. Anyway, we won’t cramp your hang - get home at a reasonable time, though!’ They seat themselves far away, leaving a stunned Fig and Dr. Asha.”

Chin trembling, Emily asks, “Does he still accept my proposal?”

Brennan claps, laughing. “Dr. Asha leaves immediately.”

“Dammit!”

“See,” Lou says, “it’s not that easy.”

Emily rolls her eyes, “Just enjoy making out with my husband, okay?”

“I will!”

[iamashippingtrashbin]

Fantasy High, but the entire main group is dating.

Everyone at Fantasy High would be so confused

Like, people would see various members of the group flirting or doing couple things with each other and get super confused

Example, Riz and Gorgug will be holding hands and talking, and people will notice. Then Riz will be with Fig, and Fig will be talking to him and flirting, and people notice that, and think “Hold on... Wasn’t Riz dating Gorgug???”

The whole thing is just confusing for everyone at school, and no one bothers to ask them about it, because, is it really any of their business if they’re all cheating on each other????? Maybe just a little... But everyone’s in it for the drama.

Fabian makes things even worse by making a big show of his affection towards everyone in his little group, being sure that everyone gets the same amount of attention, and that they’re treated like royalty. He even passes his letterman jacket around the group, though usually only Adain, Riz and Fig wear it.

Another thing that makes it even more confusing is the fact that Gorgug’s hoodie is passed around in the group. Everyone gets it for at least a week, and you can bet your bottom dollar they sleep in it because “it’s just so darn comfortable!”

Gorgug had planned to keep his relationship with his friends to himself, but his parents did end up finding out, when they noticed his hoodie constantly went missing. His parents were absolutely over joyed to hear about their sons new relationships and encouraged him to bring them over as much as he wanted, or go spend time with them as much as he wanted.

Fig’s parents don’t know exactly what’s going on with her relationship she has with her friends, but they choose not to look too much into, and as long as she’s staying out of trouble, they don’t mind.

Riz’s mom is 100% supportive. Though she was a little confused at first, she figured that her son was happy, and that’s all she really cared about.

Adain’s parents don’t know anything that’s going on in their daughters life, and she makes sure to keep it that way. If they ever found out she was dating her entire adventuring guild, who knows what they would do.

Kristen is in a similar situation to Adain, being sure that any affection she shows towards the group, especially the girls, stays under the rug, fearing that if her parents ever find out, she’ll get thrown out into the streets or sent to a camp.

Fabian makes sure to keep his relationships to himself. He loves his family, but isn’t sure how they’d react if they discovered he was dating men so many different people. Though, he did almost get caught snuggling with Gorgug, but thankfully the two managed to lie their way out of that situation.

ALL OF THE GROUP SNUGGLES!!!

Fig pays extra attention to Gorgug, because she feels guilty for causing him so much trouble. Gorgug constantly tells her that it’s fine and she did it to get information, but she still feels guilty, and does everything in her power to spoil him.

They would be in class, and Fig would find ways to just touch him, like, with her leg, or hand, or arm, or she’ll stand really close to him. She would make sure he had as much physical contact as he could without getting attention from the teacher. She gives him bardic inspiration all of the time, and even goes over to his house a lot, and sometimes she’ll find the others with him, and they’ll just all snuggle together, and Gorgug’s parents will constantly get pictures of everyone.

Adain likes going shopping with the girls, because she has the freedom to buy what she wants instead of wearing what her parents get her. She also likes stealing Fig and Kristen’s shirts, especially when she’s feeling extra lonely in her house.

Once everyone finds out that Adain suffers from panic attacks, they immediately ask her the best solutions to calm her down, especially in battles. She’s gotten better at controling it, but it helps that she knows if anything goes wrong the others are there to help her.

Over the summer, Fig suggested that they all go out to the beach or pool, and everyone agreed. This leads to Adain having to do some more clothes shopping, and she finds a really nice sundress to wear. As soon as the group sees her wearing it, they immediately lose it, because “she’s just too cute!”

Fig and Fabian get jealous the easiest out of everyone in the group, but they do their best to keep their cool and try not to get too over protective when they notice someone flirting with their dates.

Fabian gives everyone in the group loving nicknames.

Gorgug is Honey

Adain is Sweetie

Riz is The Ball Dearling

Fig is Dear

Kristain is Love

Fabian “sneaking out to see your dates” Seacaster

Adain “also sneaking out to see your dates” Abernant

That’s all I can think of for now! Feel free to add on anything else!

(Also if I forgot to tag anything, please let me know! I’m still relatively new to this fanbase.)

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 11

The One With All the Lore (in which the Bad Kids do a Lot of Reading and we are Forcibly Reminded the Plot is Happening)

We are back in the Land of the Lomenelda where the Bad Kids and Co. are waking up (well, those who went to sleep anyway). Fig and Ayda wake from their sleepover that Fig decides to keep going into the day, confusing Ayda immensely in the process. 

Kristen decides to look at the research she found in Calethriel Tower and on a 22 religion check, she gets a lot of info which I will do my best to summarize here:

The information is older than what she read in the pirate book. It’s probably from 850-900 years ago--around the time of the last great Sylvan War.

The text is by high elven clerics of the Moon Goddess Galakaya (Tracker’s goddess).

There used to another goddess worshiped in Sylvere--a goddess of night, mystery, and magic and the younger sister of Galakaya. This goddess was worshiped by all of the races in the forest (and it sounds like this is who all the oblique references in the earlier research was pointing to). Doubt and the unknown were parts of worship to her which Kristen is very into. Religious differences between the races about how to worship the mystery goddess was part of what sparked the war.

Some high elven clerics came in to help broker a truce which ended up leading to the invention of the “Sylverian Heresy”. Basically, the Moon clerics advised the Mystery clerics to “unmake” the name of their goddess because, “Hey, she’s a mystery goddess, right? So isn’t knowing anything about her a contradiction of her whole thing?” They think that sounds legit and proceed to do that but it seems that it wasn’t actually altruistic advice as much as a ploy by the high elven clerics to weaken the mystery goddess. 

Fabian has been dancing all night and he is feeling exhausted but super good. This becomes even more of a family affair when none other than Hilariel Seacaster shows up! She joins the dance! Cathilda joins the dance! Fig plays her bass! Riz is skanking? It’s one of those classic D&D moments where the plot utterly grinds to a halt while everyone takes turns describing the ridiculous nonsense they’re doing and it’s fantastic. Once that calms down a bit, Fabian goes on a walk with his mom and Cathilda where Hilariel tells him that the grapes 1000% do not work, which honestly checks out.

Shifting to the Abernant sisters, Aelwen (this is the canon spelling and I’m gonna try to use it for these recaps but we’ll see how that goes) has just regained her pre-torture memories. To be specific, she seems to have backed them up between being broken out of jail in Solace and the torture starting. They have a little bit of a standoff, not sure whether one of them is going to attack the other. Once it becomes clear that blasting each other isn’t on the top of their respective to-do lists, they settle into a semi civilized conversation. Adaine wants Aelwen to read her thoughts so she’ll have the memories of what happened to her and the past day (at least from Adaine’s P.O.V.) and not go back to working with their parents. Aelwen seems resistant to the prospect and asks Adaine to just tell her what happened. While they’re talking, Adaine rolls an Insight check of 10 which doesn’t net her any information (we’ll come back to this).

Aelwen tells Adaine that their parents are not on the same side but refuses to elaborate, much to Adaine’s annoyance and frustration. They kind of dissolve into almost normal sibling bickering except that it’s about stuff like, “Oh come on, I only tried to kill you one time. Don’t be dramatic.” When questioned, Aelwen says that she only joined up with Goldenhoard for fun and she didn’t really think he’d win against her and her friends. The argument ends with Adaine casting Tasha’s Hideous Laughter which knocks Aelwen out in one shot because she’s still three or four levels of exhaustion deep.

Fig goes to Telemein to ask if he knows Planeshift (which she needs to get Gorthalax out of the ruby he’s trapped in). He does not and she doesn’t trust him to figure it out in a timely manner (or to even know what a timely manner is). 

Kristen goes into the Van where Aelwen is to check on her (she’s fine, just trancing). Then, she helps out while Adaine tries to rifle through Aelwen’s brain for information on their Mom. Aelwen saves from the first Detect Thoughts but she’s sleeping so Adaine just tries again. Second time’s the charm. Her sleeping brain is a little hard to read but what Adaine sees is that when she failed her Insight check with a 10, what was happening was THE SHADOWCAT WAS STANDING BEHIND HER AND TALKING TO AELWEN. And I (roughly) quote, “Don’t keep looking at me. Look at your sister. Your mom is working for me. She has the crown and she’s taking it to Sylvere. Get away from Adaine so we can talk.” On an 18 Insight check, she can tell that Aelwen and Kalina have spoken before and seem familiar with each other.

Now that Adaine has seen Kalina through Aelwen’s memories, she decides to Scry on her. Oh, and she has a Nat 1 portent roll to give her. Eat your dice Brennan! The Scry goes really weird though. Instead of just showing one person, it cycles through a bunch of people, ending with Ragh, Tracker, Sandra-Lynn, that elf Ragh slept with, and Kristen. Then, it flashes to a creepy-ass forest where she sees a wood elf covered in festering wounds and claw marks. Vines are dripping with blood. The elf stands, grabs an old spear, and scratches into the ground, “Hello Adaine. Glad you could join me.” Then, it moves back to Kristen. Um, como se dice, CONCERNING. 

Adaine gets a 27 to Detect Magic on Kristen and pings nothing that shouldn’t be there. Gorgug (who is also there btw) gets the pic and asks Ragh’s hookup if he can see the tabaxi and he can. The group gets together and they realize that everyone who can all of a sudden see the Shadowcat either had sex or exhanged blood with someone who initially could (ie: Garthy got it from Sandra-Lynn, as did Tracker when she blood healed her and Kristen got it afte she hooked up with Tracker in Leviathan). Shout out to everyone who called that. And I guess the Thistlespring STD talk at the top of the season was less of a wild detour than it seemed (I wonder if it would have transferred if said people specified that they used protection). 

Fabian and Fig are very down to drink some blood so they can also see the picture but they are warned off with the idea that it very likely means Kalina can see through their eyes or something similar. After they all exchange their info, Riz theorizes that Kalina is not just a servant of the Nightmare King and rather the Mystery Goddess herself, powered down. Adaine starts a private message (w/ magic, not on their crystals) with the non-infected people.

Kristen recently learned the spell Hallow which can basically turn the Van into a permanent Moon Haven. She tells Tracker and on a 15 Persuasion check, Tracker seems to have warmed back up to her a bit and is down to help. Telemein offers his library which has zero useful books but lots of meditation guides and essential oils which Adaine and Kristen respectively grab.    

Having learned her lesson, Kristen tells Tracker EVERYTHING she learned from the religious texts (and Tracker notices what she’s doing). She feels weird about something that bad having been done in the name of her goddess and also she’s sorry she gave Kristen a magic STD. She does the head bump thing that dogs and wolves do and says that just cause she was mad at her, it didn’t mean she didn’t love her. She goes to talk to Sandra-Lynn and it seems like they’ve patched things up. 

The Bad Kids split up again to get some stuff done before they leave (which they want to do since they are dangerously close to the elves who are probably looking for them). Adaine and Gorgug (who was also given Aelwen’s spellbook to hold) work on fixing the Hangman. Riz wants to do some research/investigating. Kristen and Tracker work on the Hallow spell. Fig guards Aelwen. Fabian hangs out with his mom.

After spilling his guts about the past week to his mom, Fabian is given an uncharacteristically lucid and touching speech from Hilariel which basically boils down to: you’re your own person and being able to get through hardship is better than never facing hardship. She also drops the information that post-yesterday’s shenanigans (grabbing the sun and all that), Aguefort has lost a LOT of funding. They won’t be able to pay their hirelings. Also, she kinda sorta wants Cathilda back because she’s out of yogurt and cannot cook. Cathilda has a little sidebar heart-to-heart with Fabian where she gives him a choice on whether she stays or goes and he decides she should go home with Hilariel. Says Cathilda, “There’s only one Seacaster left to take care of and she’s out there in a kimono.”

Oh yeah. Hilariel showed up to the woods in a black kimono. As you do. 

Cathilda asks Fabian which sword he’s going to fight with now since he has two and he chooses the elven one he got last episode over the Sword of the Seacasters.

Riz, with a crazy 28 Investigation check gets a bunch of information from the stolen research which I will summarize below:

Ragh, who is also there, reminds Riz that he saw Adaine’s mom talking to Jace post-prom and then saw the Shadowcat after on his way home.

Adaine’s mom was looking for a way to pin down the Shadowcat and also how to rename the goddess of mystery. She pulled 200-300 year old records on the execution of a wood elf named Landryn Leer in the elven secret service (called the Third Court). 

Landryn was a cleric, ostensibly of Galakaya, but she was actually a cleric of the goddess of mystery and was killed for espionage. When she was supposed to be healing, she was also infecting people with some kind of virus--probably whatever magic STD that lets you see Kalina in the picture.

Mom Abernant was also researching Abyssal demonic texts while she was working for Falinel (which I think is connected to the next bullet but my notes are a little hectic here).

After the first fall of Kalvaxus, a group of infernal warlocks came to help the good guys by making a boundary around the forest of the Nightmare King so no one could get in or out. The devils helped because devils hate demons and demons were on the other side. 

This isn’t new information but we’re reminded that the Crown of the Nightmare King can be used to anchor a being to the material plane.

Pok, Riz’s dad, also checked out the same information (about the fall of Kalvaxus and stuff) for himself and Kalina earlier. 

(Riz wonders whether the Nightmare King and the Mystery goddess are opposed rather than allies).

Anyway, the only way to pass through the barrier the devils put up is by a high ranking devil allowing passage. Mom Abernant had notes about binding a devil into a gem (Ragh recognizes that bit because of his mom’s condition) and doing a ritual to put the devil in a freshly dead body. Riz realizes that this is what was happening with him and Fig and Gorthalax in the Hotel Cavalier. 

This is actually from research that Kristen does but I’ll put it here because it’s related. Apparently, only a certain kind of dead body would give the Shadowcat the gem.

Meanwhile, Fig is watching Aelwen. She hexes Aelwen (giving her disadvantage of Strength checks), disguises herself as her (Aelwen’s) mom, and smokes cloves. Ragh’s hookup shows up, recognizes Fig because she’s still carrying her bass, and asks for the hot goss on her and Ayda. He says the elves told Ayda that she’s a rockstar and therefore probably promiscuous which made Ayda teleport away. That pisses Fig right off and she gets Gorgug to take over watching Aelwen while she goes after Ayda (with a parting, “CHOKE ON GRAPES BITCH,” to Fathethriel or whatever his name is). 

Aelwen wakes up but Gorgug realizes after about a minute that he’s not talking to the real Aelwen, it’s a water elemental like the one she made in her S1 battle episode. A decoy. At about the same time, Fig goes to where she was told Ayda left through a door but the door isn’t there. Then, she’s made to roll a Wisdom saving throw. Dirty 20 passes and whatever spell was happening doesn’t land. She rolls initiative but, even with a 5 turned to a 17 (she took the Lucky feat) she can’t beat a 19. Another Wisdom saving throw and this one she fails with a 10. She’s frozen with a Hold Person spell. Someone invisible grabs Gorthalax’s gem from her pocket.

She breaks out of the Hold Persons spell and casts Bestow Curse on the person--clearly Aelwen--to give her wicked gas (which is a hilarious on its face but smart after a second of thought Axford Gambit--Invisible Aelwen w/ gas = trackable by scent). Aelwen (who has the gem and her spellbook because she was in the Van, invisible and snagged it from Gorgug) drops invisibility, tells Fig, “Sorry but goodbye for now,” rips a huge fart, then teleports out. Adaine isn’t mad at Fig and Gorgug. She says she should have been watching Aelwen. The group tracks down Fathethriel who tells them Aelwen bribed him with the promise of 10 gold (the promise, not the actual gold) to mess with Fig. Fabian and Riz backhand him. Fabian calls him mean which is somehow the worst thing he could have said. Fig is ready to straight up kill this dude with Booming Blade but ends up just doing non-lethal damage and knocking him unconscious. But even Telemein hates that dude so it’s probably fine. 

The group discusses the hireling situation now that school is no longer paying their stipend. Sandra-Lynn and Tracker are both willing to keep on with them without being paid but the Bad Kids insist that they’ll still pay them from their own money. Riz thinks Aelwen might be the new sacrifice and Adaine is kinda like, “Sure. Of course. Why wouldn’t this be happening.”

Cathilda has a nice goodbye with everyone. Adaine gets cookies. Fig isn’t suspicious of her anymore. Fabian puts his eyepatch back on and calls her the best surrogate mother a boy could ask for (while standing like two feet away from his actual mom who, though hurt, is like, “Valid.”) 

Once they’re back in Leviathan, Sandra-Lynn gives a speech that’s half pep-talk, half apology. Then she asks Ayda to use her Sending spell and Kristen can tell even without an Insight check that she’s gonna talk to Jawbone. 

After terrifying Fabian with the idea that they might track down Chungledown-Bim, they decide to talk to Garthy instead--they being Fabian, Fig and Ragh. We’ll get back to them in a second. First, Adaine goes to the Library to read over her research. Nat 20 arcana check so here comes another info-dump:

The info she found was written by mystics and shamans of wood elves, centaurs, treents, and sprites (the forest races). 

Before the name of the goddess was destroyed, there were clerics driven out as heretics because they were having dreams sent by the mystery goddess which were ignored by the clerics in Sylvere. She was trying to tell everyone not to do the whole un-naming thing because it would destroy her. 

There were 4 miracles called the 4 transubstantiations followed by 1 bigger transubstantiation that happened before the unmaking of the goddess’s name. 

The mystery goddess was not just a goddess of magic but specifically, a witch goddess. 

Anyway, the transubstantiations were these:

Her spellbook was turned into a coin.

Her familiar was turned into a plague.

Her sanctum was turned into a curse.

Her focus (a broomstick) was turned into a tree.

Her name was turned into something unknown before it could be unmade (this was the major transubstantiation).

Riz is also doing some investigation and on a 23 check, the main piece of new info he gets is that in the original alliance of Kalvaxus and the Nightmare King, the NK gave Kal a coin for his hoard to seal their alliance. They realize that they got Kal’s hoard but they don’t know if they got the exact coins he owned or just an equivalent amount of money. Riz also sees notes from the government of Falinel saying that Mom Abernant was doing this research for them with the promise that they would release Aelwen and restore their family to some level of prestige. When the government went back on their promise, she started looking into other people that could help her, like Garthy (and the government eventually found out).  

Speaking of Garthy, back to Fig, Fabian, and Ragh. They try to persuade Garthy to come with them to help but Garthy is staying put. They do have some news though. Mom Abernant actually isn’t Falinel bound. She’s on the way to a town close to Sylvere (which the group kinda already knew but now they have confirmation and more specifics). The town is called Arborly and Fig actually knows someone who has a mansion (called Hollyhill) there who, while she was on tour, said she could stay there any time. With teleportation, they should be able to get there before her. Fabian has Garthy check their coins for anything fishy (looking at the aforementioned transubstantiated coin) but nothing seems amiss.   

As they leave, they suddenly hear a weird rumbling and then something leaps onto Fabian and starts giving him rubber burn. It’s the Hangman! Gorgug continued working on him in Leviathan and we learn that he took a level in Artificer and was able to fix him with a 22, some help from Adaine, and a little of the wax Fabian got last season. He’s back! And he wants to shit in Chungledown-Bim’s mouth! 

The next day, Kristen finishes casting Hallow with Tracker. She taps into some of the mystery goddess energy which seems like a questionable thing to do so very on brand for her. Ayda wants to come with them but she has to look after the library. However, she plans to shrink down the entire library, book by book, so she can carry it around and continue adventuring with the Bad Kids. Until then, she teleports them all to Arborly and the gates of Hollyhill.  

Detention

Fathetriel for Being an Ass

Even Telemien thinks he sucks. Choke on grapes bitch.

Honor Roll

Gorgug for Fixing the Hangman

I’m going to be less than entirely predictable here any instead of giving Adaine this spot for the objectively clutch move of scrying on the Shadowcat by forcing a Nat 1 on her save, I’m going to give it to Gorgug for taking a level of Artificer and fixing the Hangman. It’s just such a sweet move. All this insanity going on around them and he took the time to figure out how to fix his friend’s bike/dog. He didn’t have to do that but he did, and in such an understated way. Plus, it totally makes sense for him being the son of two tinkers. I wonder if he can build that cell tower for Zelda now. This also seems like a good move story-wise because I feel like having these extra skills ups Gorgug’s potential for shenanigans/helpfulness out of combat a lot.  

Random Thoughts

What did I say? What did I say at the end of last recap? I KNEW we’d gone too long without a Shadowcat sighting. I KNEW we were about to get wrecked! 

Made a couple of oblique references to this in the recap but I’ll say it outright now. The gang is all level 9 now!

There was a LOT of lore in this episode so, if I got anything wrong and you notice, please tell me and I’ll fix it when I get the chance. 

Sad to see Ayda go but happy that the Hangman’s back! I hope The Bad Kids take a page from Jester’s book and Sending her all the time.

Good on Fabian/Lou for letting Cathilda go in a move that was right for the story but objectively worse for the inevitable coming battle. 

“I couldn’t have one nice day with my sister.”/”No.” (“He’s all the bad guys,” Siobhan says in a resigned tone.)

Speaking of the Abernants, I think Arianwyn is how you spell Adaine’s mom’s name which I am going to try and get used to before she shows up again and I have to type it 47 times. Also, very funny that Ally/Kristen learned the name Adaine and was like, “She is the only valid Abernant. I refuse to learn any more names.” Anyway, this campaign needs less elves and more goblins. Riz. Pok. Sklonda. Things I can spell. 

I question whether the Mystery goddess is actually going to be an antagonist. Both because it seems like she got majorly screwed over by a bunch of uptight high-elves who have been nothing but trouble so far (sans Adaine and Hilariel to a degree) so I’m inclined to be on the side they’re not on and also because this was clearly a plot point written with Kristen in mind. So I guess the question is, is this going to be a temptation for Kristen or a safe harbor? 

Did the curse on the NK’s crown get properly dispelled by Adaine’s mom? Wondering because of the whole sanctum being turned into a curse thing. Though, I guess breaking the curse could be what turned it back into the sanctum.

Lol at all the people in the comments questioning whether Brennan ripped his lore from My Little Pony when all the Moon goddess, sister goddesses stuff was being explained. 

Did Brennan say how Hilariel knew where Cathilda was? She doesn’t have magic, she’s some kind of Fighter. Does she have Cathilda Magic Lojacked?

“Yes, The Ball! Feel it! Yes, Ball, skank!”

Hilariel, like Jareth the Goblin King, can contact juggle, which checks out. 

I’m very curious about what Brennan has planned for Aelwen because I think Adaine offering to willingly fail a save so she could read her mind was a very clutch, “I had a week to think about this and you better believe I thought about it,” move from Siobhan and I don’t know why Aelwen would be hesitant to take that opportunity (besides maybe thinking it was a trap?) except for the meta reason that a quick reality check would joss some important story beats. I could be wrong but that’s just the vibe I got. Also if any of y’all are inclined to write the alt version of this scene where Aelwen *does* do that, def tag me so I can read it. 

The vibe that was going on when Adaine and Aelwen was talking was fascinating. I kinda loved it? Like, they were still fighting and Aelwen was still being a bitch and Adaine was still super annoyed but it felt almost blunted? Like they were shooting at each other but with Nerf guns instead of AK-47s for a change. My read on Aelwen is that she enjoys having a relationship with Adaine, even if it’s antagonistic. I think that Aelwen would much rather fighting with Adaine every day than for Adaine to not care about her at all. It’s like the horseshoe thing, you know? Love and hate are much closer to each other than they are to indifference. Better to have her care about you in the wrong direction than not at all. Anyway, this is so the vibe that I was expecting from them when they linked back up post-rescue. Wish we had gotten a little more before she escaped but I’m really liking this plot thread.

Also, curious about how truthful Aelwen was being when she said she only joined up with Kalvaxus for fun and was counting on Adaine and Co. to stop them. And, while we’re wondering about things, I’m curious about what Aelwen’s previous relationship with Kalina was. Like, besides creating a diversion to steal the crown, how do the events of this season hook up with the events of last season in a way that explains the relationship? Or is it not related? What is the timeline of events here?

And was Kalina actually there talking to her do you think or was it more of a projection type deal?

Sidenote: I think Brennan is taking liberties with what Detect Thoughts can do (in this and especially last episode) but I think it’s a very good creative choice and it makes things a lot more interesting.

Also, gotta say, the way the plot ended up turning out re: Aelwen’s Escape was just *chef’s kiss*. Like, you had Fig bring up the ruby, unprompted earlier in the episode--reestablishing it as a thing that exists. Then they gave the spellbook to Gorgug. Then, Fig was the one who took up guard duty and she happened to switch up with Gorgug, giving Aelwen and, by extension, Brennan a perfect series of events to get her out of there. Wild. 

This episode explains how the Shadowcat/picture thing is spreading but not where Riz and Sandra-Lynn got it from initially. Like, I assume Sklonda got it from Pok. And it’s very plausible Riz got it from one of them somehow but when would they have shared blood? That’s not a normal family thing to do. Did his dad give him a kidney or soemthing? I’m probably overthinking this. 

Emily, I’m begging you. Please keep bringing up those rock and roll babies until Brennan is forced to make it plot relevant.

Speaking of, I was getting so many Night Yorb vibes from that mystery goddess “don’t speak her name” conversation and if the Night Yorb becomes plot relevant I swear I’m gonna personally make Brennan eat his dice.

“I mention everything to Tracker from now on.” You know what that is? Growth 

I loved Fig saying “I don’t know enough about you to know if we wanna kill you,” to the Shadowcat by directly looking at Riz and him being like, “UMMMMMMMM.”

Gilear, wildly, was not mentioned once in this episode and you think he would have been since his girlfriend showed up.  

I wonder if Fandrangool has better stats than the Sword of the Seacasters. I also wonder if I’m spelling that correctly. Doubt it.

“My vices rule.”

One thing I didn’t recap but should have were the dreams in the first episode and I feel like I should go back and watch them because they feel like they could become relevant any time now but that sounds like a lot. I’ll try and watch them before next recap though so I can connect any obvious dots.

Is there anything more pure than Murph cracking up at Emily’s shenanigans. 

I have a note in my notes that says “Fig/Virgin” but it’s like that one gif. “Why am I gasping? I already knew that.”

We originally thought the Shadowcat didn’t want people to be able to see her but now it’s seeming like the opposite is the case. It looks like this is a systematic way to *force* people to be able to see her. If that’s what’s going on then that’s a brilliant reversal from Brennan.

Aelwen, when she gets her memories back, says something like, “Since I’m in a hot tub and you found what you found, I’m assuming you’re not gonna kill me this second.” And one, funny that she can’t even directly reference the one compliment she ever gave Adaine while in her right mind but also, the implication seems to be (at least partially) that she thought, “Let me say something nice about Adaine on this charm to buy me some goodwill so she doesn’t immediately kill me once she restores me,” which is so calculated and I kinda love it.

I had a conversation with drinkingdeadpeopletea while the ep was going on that basically went like: Me: They better watching Aelwen so she doesn’t escape. Her: lol she’s def gonna. 

“Does your mom smoke cloves?”

The goddess’s familiar being turned into a plague and the thing going on with Kalina and being able to see her being like an STD and Goldenhoard presenting as a dragonborn but being an actual dragon and Kalina being a tabaxi and cats being the most classic familiar for witches and the goddess being specifically a witch goddess all feel possibly related to me, but that could just be my brain playing the association game and connecting things that don’t necessarily connect. 

The fact that other characters (read: Fathethirel) read Fig and Ayda’s relationship as possibly romantic (in an attempt to mess with her of course, but still) and Fig reacted so strongly (well strongly and in that specific way because I have no doubt she’d also beat a dude within an inch of their life for messing with, say Gorgug or Adaine) is something I’m going to star for later. [Edit: Brennan clarified on the Discord recently that Ayda (or at least this version of her. Phoenix reincarnation and all) is 17 so y’all are all good to go shipping-wise). As is Tracker, by the by, but I think we were all pretty sure Brennan was keeping that above board.] 

Siobhan’s face when Fig says that she’s “straight edge except for hallucinogens.”

“I’m gonna buy you an orange.”

This episode, Adaine, with advantage, rolled a nat 20 (the other roll being 1). Brennan got one natural 1 (though it wasn’t rolled, it was a portent roll) and Gorgug also rolled one Nat 1 but it’s important that I note it was for giving the Hangman an ass to shit in Chungledown-Bim’s mouth.