#he uses that s rank int

[pocketramblr]

Well now i just want to read a fic where eraserhead and snipe are an assassin duo

so do iiiiiiii like come on. i think they'd be an amazing assassin duo. they're both ridiculous (one's a cowboy and ones a bounty hunter) they're both homeroom teachers, they both lie to other people about their quirks, i can totally see snipe being a cat person too (alt, hes a dog person and its their issue with the other). they should both also be assassins together

[whatsissue]

2025 Grammy Awards Nominations: Beyoncé Leads List of Music Contenders

2025 Grammy Awards Nominations: Beyoncé Leads List of Music Contenders Welcome to Beyoncé country! With the 2025 Grammy Award nominations now announced, Beyoncé leads the pack with an impressive 11 nominations, bringing her career total to 99 nominations. This achievement makes her the most nominated artist in Grammy history. Major Nominations Beyoncé's latest album, Cowboy Carter, is nominated for both Album of the Year and Country Album of the Year. Additionally, her song Texas Hold ’Em is up for Record of the Year, Song of the Year, and Country Song of the Year. This marks her first nominations in the country and Americana categories, showcasing her versatility across genres. If she wins Album of the Year, Beyoncé would make history as the first Black woman to achieve this honor in the 21st century. The last Black woman to win this award was Lauryn Hill in 1999 for The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, joining the ranks of Natalie Cole and Whitney Houston as the only Black women to win the Grammy’s top prize. Rising Stars and Notable Nominations Post Malone also made waves with his first-ever nominations in the country categories, following the release of his debut country album, F-1 Trillion, in August. The album is nominated for Country Album of the Year, and his collaboration with Morgan Wallen, I Had Some Help, is nominated for Country Song and Country Duo/Group Performance. This marks Wallen's first Grammy nominations. Following closely behind Beyoncé, both Post Malone and Billie Eilish received seven nominations each, along with Kendrick Lamar and Charli XCX, who is nominated for the first time as a solo artist. Lamar's diss track, Not Like Us, is nominated for Record of the Year, Song of the Year, Best Rap Song, Music Video, and Best Rap Performance. Notably, he received two simultaneous nominations for Best Rap Performance, a career first, with his collaboration Like That featuring Future & Metro Boomin. Other Nominees Taylor Swift, along with first-time nominees Sabrina Carpenter and Chappell Roan, also garnered six nominations each. Last year saw a strong presence of women artists in the major categories, and this year continues that trend while showcasing a variety of genres. In the Album of the Year category, alongside Beyoncé's Cowboy Carter, nominees include André 3000’s New Blue Sun, Jacob Collier’s Djesse Vol. 4, and albums from rising stars Carpenter and Roan. Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department and Eilish’s Hit Me Hard and Soft round out the nominations. Eilish is notable for having all three of her first albums nominated for Album of the Year, while Swift made history last year by winning Album of the Year for Midnights, breaking the record for the most wins in this category with four. This year, she becomes the first woman to achieve seven career nominations in this category. Recording Academy Insights Harvey Mason Jr., CEO and President of the Recording Academy, expressed excitement over the diversity in genres represented in this year’s nominations. He attributed the success to an active and evolving voting body, emphasizing efforts to ensure representation across gender, racial, and musical lines. Eligibility and Ceremony Details Only recordings commercially released in the U.S. between September 16, 2023, and August 30, 2024, were eligible for nominations. The final round of Grammy voting will take place from December 12 to January 3. The 2025 Grammy Awards are scheduled to take place on February 2 at the Crypto.com Arena in Los Angeles, promising an exciting night for music fans. Thank you for taking the time to read this article! Your thoughts and feedback are incredibly valuable to me. What do you think about the topics discussed? Please share your insights in the comments section below, as your input helps me create even better content. I’m also eager to hear your stories! If you have a special experience, a unique story, or interesting anecdotes from your life or surroundings, please send them to me at whatsissue@gmail.com. Your stories could inspire others and add depth to our discussions. If you enjoyed this post and want to stay updated with more informative and engaging articles, don’t forget to hit the subscribe button! I’m committed to bringing you the latest insights and trends, so stay tuned for upcoming posts. Wishing you a wonderful day ahead, and I look forward to connecting with you in the comments and reading your stories! Read the full article

[the-firebird69]

TAMPA BAY COMIC CON 2024: Ultimate Experience & Incredible Cosplay

and i told myself look at it nad did. and he was right the levels changde  and matched teh pay raise.  and then he said it is up due to dave a histroy adn was the increases matched all of them and incrementally meaning it was in lock step with his career and then our frend was doing jobs certain ones and most hd no clue the  macs do tis.  and he was given stipends.  and more and i lined i t up knew when nd got panicked. went the wrong way.  and then got beat well  was happening im glad to knw the code see them wiht it and it is why

tommy f

Olympus

twenty sixth our son goe up in rank here with them and without telling him.  pay increases and stipends but works for rebels and the macs trace it and use code due to it.  moreso than colonial congress.  and has been working yes.  now these macs are persnicity but not that bad these try extortioin and he began to threaten our sonand the program and macs wasted his fleets.  out then and took them down.  and to any ohters and we do too.  now they are hot and mean now and dont want this toddler shit and fire on them  hear it too we do work and tons and need it badly these obstruct it and they hunt them for it soon they will be gone.  now they the morlock ramp upt to strike the pseudo empire and if hit will strike them back and geat up to hit trump and to take out of more stashes and caches but by twnty not five. and will roll on it tonight in the west andtommorrow in the east.   finally.  they beat each ohter up good.  and are pushed out.  of florida psuedo empire too.  fully out.  minority morlock too minorites come int and s and stay. fight.  a diferent fight yes.  but bad too. not as rancid by far.  no way are under control. bu tdangerous as hell. we work now here get it there

[puppy-the-uncensored]

SDJ au concept. I saw camp counselor aus before where Jack becomes a slasher, but what if YOU were the slasher? Two ways it can go, either y/n is a classic slasher that happens to target the camp Jack works at OR;

You're a camp counselor and all your coworkers this year are a bunch of irresponsible young adults who aren't taking their jobs seriously. I mean, you have to look after kids in a remote forest location with easy access to a lake, they could get into anything and hurt themselves or wander off and get lost or worse if they aren't properly supervised! So- after catching the other counselors shirking their duties to hook up or sneak a beer one too many times- and to the detriment of one of the children no less- you decide you're going to teach them the lesson of a lifetime. Teamed up with one of your friends you stage a slasher murder, just like in the campfire stories. You make a cool mask and wear some clothes that obscure your figure and with some shoddy sfx thag looked just real enough in the dark you make it look like you killed your friend and fellow counselor. You'd planned to meet back up and reveal the ruse in the morning but... your friend never came to the meeting spot. You eventually get to see the "body" and... those aren't the fake slashes and corn syrup blood you'd made.

Someone had gone in behind you to make your murder real

Unbeknownst to you, you weren't the only one fed up with the state of things. Only, Jack wanted a much more... realistic slasher case to scare the others straight. Of course, now that they're freaked out they're minding the kids less and less, which just means Jack's gotta hammer in the lesson even harder until they shape up and get the point! Meanwhile, you've got to cover your tracks and hide your own involvement while also investigating this new slasher that's using you as a scapegoat to hopefully avenge your friend and keep the campers safe all while picking up the counselors' slack with the only other person who seems to actually be doing his job.

It's a bit wild that he's thinking about dating at a time like this, but hey- when there's a chance you'll die tomorrow may as well have a whirlwind romance while you're at it, right?

Jack meanwhile thinks that one of these unhelpful lot of new counselors might just be worth sparing, and maybe- if they agree- he'd like to keep them for himself.

Some fun tidbits to point out, Jack doesn't know you're the original masked "slasher". He only becomes obsessed with you after he starts killing and the two of you start bonding while working together to keep the camp running. And you're also still going out in your slasher attire to hopefully either lure out the double or make it so if you're caught, nobody sees that it's you sneaking around and gets suspicious since your face is hidden. It's better they run from the "killer" than catch you and start thinking you're up to something when you're actually trying to be the good guy here and investigate/stop the real killer on the loose.

I'm thinking he's a spirit of a counselor that died in the 80's, his self appointed role is to continue protecting and looking after the children- so when the new wave of counselors come in and treat the job like a summer get away he quickly inserts himself into their ranks and takes matters into his own hands. They're hardly paying attention and it's not like any of them checked the employee roster, who'd notice an extra set of hands helping out? You don't remember meeting him when you were first taken around the grounds and introduced to everyone, but you figured he might just have been quiet. The kids seem to know and love him, and you swear you've seen him out of the corner of your eye around the camp a couple times, so it's probably fine. The camp was a big place, it isn't surprising you hadn't gotten to meet everyone in one go, and since he seems to really be working he was probably too busy covering the others to mingle with the other counselors and introduce himself.

EDIT: I think I actually like it more if he's just a normal guy instead of a ghost in this au. He's just Like This™️

[swldx]

Voice of America 0327 7 Apr 2024

6080Khz 0257 7 APR 2024 - VOICE OF AMERICA (UNITED STATES OF AMERICA) in ENGLISH from MOPENG HILL. SINPO = 55334. English, Dead carrier s/on @0256z, @0259z Yankee Doodle int fb news anchored by Tommy McNeil @0300z. A top military commander Saturday renewed Iran's promise to retaliate after an airstrike earlier this week widely blamed on Israel destroyed Iran's Consulate in Syria, killing 12 people, including two elite Iranian generals. General Mohammad Bagheri, Iran's joint chief of staff, told mourners gathered for the funeral of General Mohammad Reza Zahedi that Iran will decide when and how to stage an "operation" to take revenge. Zahedi was the highest-ranking commander slain in Monday's attack. Dozens of Ukrainian drones targeted sites in western Russian regions and elsewhere early on April 5, including an airbase that's home to a squadron of Sukhoi fighter bombers. If confirmed, the attack would be among Ukraine's most successful cross-border strikes. The United States and China have agreed to hold talks and create two economic groups focused on a wide range of issues, including addressing American complaints about China’s economic model, growth in domestic and global economies and efforts against money laundering, according to a statement released Saturday by the U.S. Treasury Department. The agreement comes on the second day of an official visit to China by U.S. Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen, during which she has urged Chinese leaders to change their domestic manufacturing policies. A UK Conservative MP has revealed that he was targeted in the Westminster sexting scandal and was the MP that first alerted the authorities. Luke Evans said he was messaged in what is suspected to be part of a wider attempt to target MPs. In a video posted on Facebook, Evans said he had been sent a photo of a naked woman on WhatsApp, which was followed by a message 10 days later. Ecuador was lambasted across Latin America on Saturday after security forces stormed the Mexican embassy in Quito to arrest former vice president Jorge Glas, who had been granted political asylum there. Special forces agents surrounded the embassy in an almost unheard-of raid on diplomatic premises that are considered inviolable sovereign territory. The incident Friday night prompted Mexico to quickly sever diplomatic ties with Ecuador. "This is a flagrant violation of international law and the sovereignty of Mexico," President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador wrote on X. Natural farming methods help resist effects of climate change. Studies show that the elimination of synthetic nitrogen fertilizers alone, as is required in organic systems, could lower direct global agricultural greenhouse gas emissions by about 20%. A forty-year study conducted by the Rodale Institute also showed that organic farms use 45% less energy compared to conventional farms while maintaining or even exceeding yields after a 5-year transition period. @0305z "VoA One" music DJ'd by female announcer. MLA 30 amplified loop (powered w/8 AA rechargeable batteries ~10.8vdc), Etón e1XM. 100kW, beamAz 350°, bearing 84°. Received at Plymouth, MN, United States, 14087KM from transmitter at Mopeng Hill. Local time: 2157.

[chudleycanonficfest]

Day 28, Post #1 by @floreatcastellumposts

Title: The Argument Author/Artist: FloreatCastellum Pairing: Gen Prompt: “Siblings: The only enemy you can’t live without” -Anonymous Rating: T Trigger Warning(s) (if any): Mild language

When he was a child, Ron had sometimes sat secretly on the stairs, feet in slippers too big for him, teddy tucked under his arm, listening to the goings on in the kitchen. Often his sister or a brother or two would be with him. This was especially the case when there was an argument, because they were a nosy bunch of kids, and they would grin gleefully at one another as they heard their mother roar over some issue, like when Bill came home with his first tattoo, or Charlie had done something dangerous like climb on the roof, or the many, many, many things that Fred and George had done. They would gather on the stairs and snigger and delight in their siblings being in trouble - that it wasn't them, and usually it was over something hilarious too. 

Today was quite different. The stairs were narrow, so Ginny was pressed right up against him, but she was gripping hold of his arm too. Behind them, Fred and George sat in grim, stony silence, their knees occasionally knocking the back of Ron's head, but, remarkably, none of them were squabbling.

'Is it so hard to just be happy for me?' Percy was bellowing, and that in itself was unusual, because it was never Percy in trouble. 

'It's not about that,' Dad was bellowing back, 'are you so naive? Are you really so foolish-?' This was unusual too, because it wasn't usually Dad bellowing. 

'Percy... Percy, we're just worried, we're just concerned...' Mum was sobbing. This was unusual, because she usually had a bit more fight in her, not this desperate pleading. 

'You're so cynical, the pair of you-'

'We're realistic! You've been promoted well above your grade before the dust has settled on the inquiry-'

'STOP BRINGING UP THE INQUIRY!' Percy sounded quite deranged; the ferocity of his voice made Ginny jump slightly, and grip Ron's arm harder. 'That - wasn't - my - fault! That was the point of it! That PROVED I wasn't to blame, I was acquitted-'

'Yes, and we were delighted,' said Dad, and to Ron's astonishment, his words sounded bitingly sarcastic, 'but even so, you have to see that mass scandal is not usually a precursor to promotion!'

'He SAW something in me!' 

'Yes, he did! He saw a potential spy! On our family - on Dumbledore-'

Percy let out a maniacal laugh, forced and sneering and sanctimonious, it made Ron wince as he heard it. 'And you say I'm arrogant?' 

'We've never said you were arrogant-' Mum tried to chip in desperately, but Percy continued talking over her. 

'You think you're important enough to warrant the Minister for Magic spying on you? You think he considers you in the same circle as Dumbledore? More to the point, you think Dumbledore truly respects the likes of you?'  

'Fudge has been going round making it more than clear that anyone who supports Dumbledore can clear out their desks-'

'Utter rot-'

'-He knows I'm friendly with him, he knows I have advised the school on muggleborn inte-'

'No one cares!' Percy screamed. 'No one cares about that stuff! You're ludicrous!'

'Ludicrous?' Dad echoed, with an uncharacteristic scoff to his voice. 

'Ludicrous! Not everything is a conspiracy, not everything has an anti-muggle agenda - I know what this is really about, you're embarrassed that your own son is rising above you, is succeeding where you haven't-'

'Percy!' Mum's gasp was so clear that Ron could easily imagine her hand leaping to her chest. 

'I've had to struggle against your lousy reputation ever since I started! Do you know how embarrassing it is? Do you know what it's like having people ask if I'm related to the muggle-mad Weasley on Level Two-' 

'That's enough,' said Dad coldly. 

'I lie to them, d'you know that? I tell them we're only distantly related.' 

'What the fuck?' Ron heard one of the twins whisper behind them. 'Is he serious?' 

'I never imagined I had raised you to be so small-minded-' Dad was spitting back.

'It's baffling that you raised me at all! You, who has no ambition, no sense, no idea of how ridiculous you come across with your obsession with muggles - is it any wonder you've always been passed over for promotion-'

'-Because of bigotry!'

'-Any wonder you've left your children to grow up in poverty? To be humiliated by the failures of their father?' 

'Stop it! Percy, stop it!' Mum was wailing, and whether it was Fred or George directly behind him Ron didn't know, but their knee was trembling against the back of his head. 

'It's not failure, it's a matter of principle and integrity!' Dad roared back. 'There are more important things than gold, that's what we've always-'

'You are deluded! You are so blinded by your persecution complex, by your victimhood, that you cannot be happy for your son!' Percy’s voice was hoarse and raw, whether from tears or overexertion, Ron wasn’t sure. 'You can't bear to see him succeed where you failed! To see him make something of himself!'

'Why would I be happy watching my son be manipulated and used? Make no mistake, Percy - this is no achievement, this is Fudge playing you as a puppet - if you're ashamed of your background, that's your prerogative, but there's no denying this family is known to be close to Dumbledore and Harry, and Fudge is waging a vendetta against-'

‘You’re an idiot to run around with Dumbledore!’ snapped Percy. ‘He’s heading for trouble - gone completely power mad the last few years - you know full well his glory days are over. You’ll end up going down with him-’

‘Fudge is fighting a campaign against Dumbledore when he should be-’

‘I know where my loyalties lie, and it is not with my old teacher! It is with my employer, the leader of my government, with people who look at the facts!’

‘The facts are that Harry-’

'Yes - Harry - here we go,' snapped Percy. 'You rank the word of a child above the expert testimonies and mountains of evidence brought up by the inquiry, above your own boss - no wonder he thinks you're cracked. You’re determined to see conspiracy everywhere-’ 

‘How can you say that? You saw the aftermath of what happened, you saw him-’

‘I saw the actual dead boy, I saw Diggory!’ snapped Percy. ‘Think what his family is going through, their child’s death being used as a political quaffle-’

‘That is Fudge’s doing! That is his choice! He has chosen to make a mockery of Diggory, to disregard Harry-'

‘To question the story of a teenager,’ corrected Percy. His tone was cold and quiet, the kind of sanctimonious "I'm being the grown up here, actually" patience that Ron found unbearably aggravating. ‘The only evidence is his word, it’s not unreasonable to question a witness. In fact, it’s a perfectly standard part of due process.’

Ron’s growing anger was now twisted with a kind of lurching dread. The snide little comments in the Daily Prophet, which they had all blustered and raged and gasped in revolted disdain at over breakfasts for the past week, suddenly felt sinister. As he thought about it, Percy had never joined in… had always been silent… 

‘Percy…’ said Mum, so faintly that, as one, Ron, Ginny, Fred and George all leaned forward to listen. ‘Percy, surely you… surely you believe him? Surely you can’t believe he deserves what they’re saying about him? He’s just a child - it’s like the whole world’s forgotten that he’s just a child.’ 

'Yes, he's just a child - so why should he be the centre of everything?' Percy demanded. 'Why should he shape our family? Impact our careers?' 

'Percy… if you had seen him in the hospital wing, if you had looked into his eyes…' 

'Mr Fudge was not convinced,' said Percy, as though that settled the matter.

‘Has he asked you about Harry?’ Dad asked abruptly. Beside Ron, Ginny was shaking. ‘Casually?’ 

‘I - no more than is to be expected when you have someone famous living under your roof-’

‘What did he ask? What did you say?’ 

They heard a brief, thick silence, and a sharp exhale of air. ‘He… he’s not relevant to this discussion. This is beyond - this isn’t the issue - the only evidence is his word, as I said-’ 

‘You don’t believe him.’ Dad’s voice was blank, stunned, quiet. ‘You… you know that boy, Percy.’  

‘You don’t believe in me,’ said Percy, and Ron could hear his tears now, the slight thickness to his voice, the sniffs between words. ‘You’d rather believe in some ludicrous conspiracy theory from a teenager who thinks he sees You-Know-Who around every corner than believe that your own son might have worked hard, might be talented, might deserve his career. You’d really think so little of me.’ 

‘That’s not it. That’s not it at all,’ Dad said quietly, and Mum was crying loudly. ‘We just-’

‘I don’t care!’ said Percy harshly. ‘I don’t care what you think! Not any more! Years I’ve put up with it, years! I’m going - I’m gone - I don’t want to see either of you again - you’ve made it clear that you don’t have my interests at heart, this was your choice-’

‘What do you mean?’ Mum shrieked, and they could hear the scraping of chairs being moved aside, thundering footsteps, Mum begging-

The door was thrust open, and Percy stood for a moment in the hallway, looking up at the four of them sitting on the stairs. His expression was unreadable. Tear tracks shone from beneath his horn-rimmed glasses, and his mouth was a thin, grim line. 

‘Move,’ he told them. 

‘You’re being a right bellend,’ said Fred at once. 

‘MOVE!’ 

They did not, and Mum had come running after Percy, hanging desperately onto his arm though he tried to shake her off. ‘Come on, Perce,’ she pleaded. ‘Come and sit down, let’s all cool off and talk about this-’

‘Get out of my way,’ Percy told his siblings once more, and now Ron stood. 

‘Harry’s part of our family,’ he blurted out furiously. 

 ‘He’s not, Ron,’ Percy growled. ‘He’s your friend, that doesn’t mean everything he says is right - move out my way.’ 

‘How can you say that!’ Ginny demanded. ‘What’s wrong with you? How can you say all these horrible things?’ 

Percy started climbing the stairs, pushing Ron aside and stepping over Ginny, furiously struggling past Fred and George who immediately made their bodies as big and awkward and gangling as they could imagine, shouting colourful insults at him as he pushed past and thundered up to his room. 

‘He just needs to calm down,’ Mum was squeaking. ‘Go - go to your rooms, let me and Dad talk to him-’ 

‘No chance!’ 

‘I haven’t said my piece yet!’ 

He returned just a few moments later, carrying a bulging bag with a jumper sleeve trailing out, a little line of abandoned socks and a pair of underwear left on the stairs. ‘I’m going to stay with friends,’ he said. 

‘You haven't got any,’ goaded George. 

‘Be quiet, George!’ Mum wailed. ‘Percy-’

‘Then I’m getting my own place, I’m not staying here anymore - I’m not letting you all drag me down with you. If you’re all going to be traitors to the Ministry I’m going to make sure everyone’s well aware that I don’t belong to this family any more-’

‘You do, Percy, you do - you’ll always be my son-’ Mum’s words were barely audible beneath her crying. Percy pushed past her, and stormed towards the door. 

‘Percy!’ Ron shouted, and to his surprise, Percy turned and looked at him. 

Ron could not find the words for his contempt, could not find an insult strong enough, could not decide what to do with the rage that was coursing through him. All he could hope was that Percy could feel it in his cold, hard stare. ‘How could you?’ 

Percy said nothing, simply looked back for a moment, and then turned his back and strode swiftly to the door. Mum was running after him, and though they heard the ear-splitting crack of disapparation, she stood in the doorway shouting his name. 

Dad had not followed, and with a creak, Ginny rose beside Ron and descended the last few stairs. She peered through the doorway to the kitchen. ‘Dad?’ 

Ron heard a splutter, and then dry, heaving sobs. Ginny vanished into the kitchen. Behind him, Fred and George were muttering mutinously, swearing and cursing. 

‘What’s he playing at?’ 

‘He’s an idiot. A big-headed, pompous, ridiculous idiot, we’ve always said it, we were right.’ 

‘Who does he think he is? Does he really think that promotion is normal? Does he honestly think he’s that extraordinary?’  

‘Moron…’ 

Ron’s jaw was aching from gritting his teeth so hard, his heart was trying to break through his ribcage and go after Percy to beat him. 

���Do you really think he meant that stuff he said to Dad?’ George said. ‘It’s just…’  

‘I bet he does, the git,’ said Fred. ‘I bet he really does pretend he’s not part of the family. He’s ashamed of us. Slimy, brown-nosing prick…’ 

‘All that stuff about poverty? So uncalled for.’

‘That’s it, really, isn’t it? He’s a greedy arsehole.’ 

‘Well, he’s certainly written himself out of the will now, hasn’t he?’ 

‘He won’t care, nothing for him to inherit anyway, apparently.’ 

That prickling, heated anger was back - his very ears were hot with it, he wouldn’t be surprised if steam had been bursting out of them. The memory of Harry, pale and shaken in the hospital wing, his hands gripping Mum’s robes as she hugged him, was lingering in his mind. ‘Did you hear all that crap about Harry? Did you hear what he was saying about him? Harry!’

‘Yeah,’ muttered George. ‘Pillock.’ 

‘Why would he say that? What the bloody hell is going on with him? He’s gone bonkers. When did he turn into such a - a -’ He still could not quite find a word strong enough.  

‘Berk?’ suggested George. 

‘Something along those lines…’  

‘Easier than admitting he’s horrible, selfish, idiot snob, I suppose,’ said Fred. 

‘Money’s always been an issue, but blaming Dad like that is just…’ 

‘Nasty,’ said Ron, simply. 

‘You can make money without completely selling out and betraying your family,’ said Fred seriously. ‘You can do it and keep your integrity.’ 

‘He’s acting like we weren’t fed enough,’ said George spitefully. ‘Percy didn’t even get that many hand-me-downs, really - Mum and Dad were doing all right before they were hit with twins, and we all know Ginny was probably unexpected.’ 

‘Was she?’ said Ron distractedly.

‘Are you joking, you were only about eight months old, who picks then to decide to have another baby?’  

‘Mum.’ 

‘Fair.’ 

‘Anyway,’ said Fred, ‘Percy’s not exactly been hard done by, not really. He’s just always been ashamed we’re not as well-heeled as his smarmy new colleagues at the Ministry.’ 

‘It’s childish,’ said Ron, who was feeling another lurch of guilt as he thought back on the previous year. ‘It’s really petty…’ 

‘We’ve all wished the family was better off now and then,’ said George fairly. ‘Who wouldn’t? But that was a seriously low blow. God, poor Dad,' he added, his voice lowering further. 'I'm glad Ginny's gone in to comfort him, I don't even know where to begin.'

‘Do you think he’s really gone for good?’ asked Ron.

‘Hope so,’ said Fred viciously. ‘Hey - one less mouth to feed now, maybe the family’ll be better off.’ 

'You know what else,' Ron said sharply, his brain whirring, 'did you hear him dodging Dad's question about what he's said about Harry? Good thing he's buggered off before we go to the Order Headquarters, isn't it? Who knows what he would have blabbered about?' 

Fred was looking at him as though in a new light. 'You know what, Ronniekins, that is a really excellent and disturbing point. You're a bit of a bright spark at times, aren't you?' 

'Brighter than Percy,' Ron muttered.

[thecreaturecodex]

Warduke

“Dungeon 105 Cover” by Wayne Reynolds, © Paizo Publishing

[I keep getting distracted by retro villains! I wasn’t born during the 80′s D&D boom, so I missed the action figures and the cartoon growing up. I did subscribe to Dungeon Magazine, though, and issue 105 wasn’t my first, but it might have been my second or third. It certainly made an impression on me. Warduke is the Boba Fett of D&D (quiet, cool helmet, more badass in later appearances than the original canon, first appeared as a toy). And so Warduke appeared twice in my various campaigns in high school and undergrad, once in a prehistoric game (as an ophidian), and once in the Age of Worms. Both left a high body count in their wake. The Age of Worms rendition even managed to kill the same character twice in one round.

This version of Warduke is based on the Dungeon Magazine 3.5 version, with a few major tweaks. The shift from 3.5 to Pathfinder was kind to fighters in general and shield bash builds in particular, and he takes advantage of many Pathfinder-exclusive feats. I dislike the idea that Warduke’s glowing eyes are fiendish grafts, so I dropped that (it’s all about that helmet). Speaking of the helmet, I did make it a unique item, but not an artifact as it was in the Dungeon version. Understandably, Warduke is something of a cypher personality-wise, but I figured I’d give him a little backstory. Feel free to ignore it. In addition to Boba Fett, my main inspirations here were Angel Eyes (the “bad” from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly) and the Dread Pirate Roberts.

And yes, I realize that my version of Warduke is stronger than my Venger, which may upset D&D cartoon purists. I like Warduke better.]

Warduke CR 18 NE Humanoid (human) This man’s face is concealed within a dark, bat-winged helmet, revealing only glowing eyes. He is powerfully muscled, revealing his physique under a set of mismatched armor and a fur belt. He carries a heavy sword in one hand, a round shield engraved with a horned, fanged skull in the other.

Warduke is the soldier’s bogeyman. He has fought a thousand wars, killed ten thousand men. He is a mercenary, bounty hunter and assassin par excellence, who slays lesser opponents with a blow and can challenge even the stoutest adventurers.This much is true, but claims that he has lived for centuries or is unkillable are greatly exaggerated, and there is as much myth as man about him. “Warduke” is a title, not a name. Anyone who wears the signature blue steel helm of Warduke, set with three gems and causing the wearer’s eyes to glow in a sinister fashion, can theoretically claim the title. It is even possible that multiple versions of this helm circulate, and there are multiple Wardukes simultaneously on different worlds.

The current Warduke is driven by selfishness and greed above all other goals. Warduke does have a claim to nobility—he was a minor lord who preferred to train in warfare than in statecraft, who was obsessed with the legend of Warduke upon learning that Warduke’s Helm was kept in his kingdom as a trophy. He stole the helm after murdering its keepers, and assumed the title of Warduke after forsaking his previous life. Those who knew of his former identity were slain to keep the secret. Warduke is a cynic and pragmatist, and he kills for the highest bidder. He calls his sword Nightwind.

Warduke favors attacking enemies while they are weak—after a long battle, when emerging from a dungeon, or while at camp. He has no sense of duty, honor or humanity. He is not so foolish as to believe he is capable of fighting all battles by himself, however, and may travel with other cutthroats to act as ranged or magical support. Warduke doesn’t have much loyalty for these associates; he knows he can always buy the services of others if he needs them.  Likewise, he does not retain loyalty to a patron once his job is done—his next job may very well be to revenge his previous mission, or betray them if he has learned a valuable secret.

Warduke’s Helm (wondrous item) Price 57,390 gp; Aura moderate conjuration and transmutation; CL 11th Warduke’s Helm grants its wearer 60 foot darkvision, and makes their eyes glow bright red as a consequence. This grants the wearer a +5 competence bonus on Intimidate checks. Once per day as a full round action, the wearer of Warduke’s Helm can attune the helm to a location, as if casting the word of recall spell. From that point, the wearer of Warduke’s Helm can transport himself, allies and goods as per word of recall. Warduke’s Helm can only be attuned to one location at a time. The Helm is cursed—it does not function for any wielder of non-evil alignment

Construction Requirements Cost 28,695 gp; Craft Wondrous Item, darkvision, word of recall, creator must have 10 ranks in Intimidate

Warduke                 CR 18 XP 153,600 NE Medium humanoid (human) Human fighter 18 Init +7; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +4 Defense AC 36, touch 15, flat-footed 32 (+3 Dex, +12 armor, +6 shield, +2 natural, +2 deflection, +1 insight) hp 211 (18d10+108) Fort +21, Ref +13, Will +16; +5 vs. fear DR 3/- Defensive Abilities bravery +5, fortification (75%), freedom of movement Offense Speed 30 ft. Melee Nightwind +35/+30/+25/+20 (1d8+17 plus 1d6 fire/17-20), +4 bashing shield +37 (1d6+14) Ranged dagger +25 (1d4+13/19-20) Special Attacks weapon training (heavy blades 4, close 3, light blades 2, axes 1) Tactics During Combat If Warduke does not feel threatened by opponents, he begins a fight with Dazzling Display to demoralize foes and weaken their defense against him. If enemies are more prepared, he waits to intimidate instead with his Dreadful Carnage feat. Warduke prefers to close with enemies and stay close, using Shield Slam to isolate his prey and Step Up to remain in melee reach. He always uses Power Attack, unless he misses with three or more attacks per turn. Morale Warduke is not stupid, and retreats from a losing fight using his helm. Statistics Str 28, Dex 16, Con 22, Int 10, Wis 18, Cha 13 Base Atk +18; CMB +28; CMD 45 (49 vs. disarm, sunder) Feats Combat Reflexes, Dazzling Display, Dreadful Carnage, Furious Focus, Improved Critical (longsword), Improved Initiative, Improved Shield Bash, Intimidating Prowess, Iron Will, Missile Shield, Power Attack, Shatter Defenses, Shield Focus, Shield Master, Shield Slam, Step Up, Stunning Assault, Two-Weapon Fighting, Weapon Focus (longsword), Weapon Specialization (longsword) Skills Acrobatics +13, Climb +19, Intimidate +30, Knowledge (local) +12, Ride +10, Survival +16, Swim +19 Gear belt of physical might +6 (Str, Con), headband of Wis +6, Warduke’s Helm (see above), Nightwind (+3 flaming human-bane longsword), +4 bashing light steel shield, +3 glamered adamantine full plate of moderate fortification, ring of freedom of movement, ring of protection +2, cloak of resistance +4, amulet of natural armor +2, boots of speed, gloves of dueling, dusty rose prism ioun stone, bag of holding type I, flying ointment (x2), silversheen (x3), dust of appearance, potion of cure serious wounds (x3), 4 daggers, 900 gp SQ armor training 4, exceptional resources, inherent bonuses Special Abilities Exceptional Resources (Ex) Warduke has ability scores built with 25 points of point buy, and has treasure equivalent to an 18th level player character. This increases Warduke’s CR by 1. Inherent Bonuses (Ex) Warduke has accepted wish spells as payment for his dark deeds, gaining a +2 inherent bonus to his Strength and Constitution scores.

[arcticapple99]

Dabi’s intelligence

So I’m sure everyone knows about Dabi’s intelligence or the supposed lack of it really. His score is not all that high and when you consider that even effing Mineta has 5/5 A score intelligence, Dabi is really among the dumbest if his stats are to be believed.

Yup no change in intelligence. Mystery is his strongest stat. Understandable. But why the hell does Horikoshi keep giving him such a low INT stat. That boy can plot his dumpster fire of a father on top of the Hero rankings just so he can pull youtube reveal video about all the abuse and hit him with it just that much harder. So that got me thinking maybe it’s genetic thing. Maybe Todoroki boys just are dumb in stat books.

Shouto got B so little smarter than big bro, nice.

I see that soba love. No change in the INT department.

So Shouto inherited his INT score from his father. Good to know. Not that Endevour uses it for anything anyway.

...wait-

He’s a what now!

...so the stats are just for laughs and not accurate. Is this some kind of foreshadowing how hero rankings are bullshit. If so well played Horikoshi! Well played! Dabi has been running around with S rank intelligence and no one knows because data book is bullshit. 

[calliecat93]

ST: TNG S6 Watchthrough Episodes 14-17

Face of the Enemy: Troi has been kidnapped and forced to look/pose as a Romulan officer. Why? The one responsible isn’t saying, but to say that she’s unhappy would be an understatement. As it turns out, Troi was abducted by a part of the resistance from Unification and they need a Starfleet officer in case their current plan goes south. They even mention Spock… IDK if I can see him approving of an abduction but maybe they just forgot to mention that he disapproved that part… then again I guess it makes logical sense. Eh, whatever. So… this is by far the best Troi episode that they’ve done thus far. She was kidnapped yes, but she is NOT playing the damsel-in-distress. She’s not victimized. She’s not sexualized. She’s not forced into a poorly conceived romance or undergoes anything gross/f*cked up. She has to act the part of a cold-hearted authoritarian among a ship of Romulans and she is freakin’ badass. Especially when she decides that she’s had enough going and thoroughly tells off her kidnapper N’Vek and that he will listen to her. 100% perfection. They even managed to make her empathic abilities useful. Did putting her in the uniform cause this? Did they get it out of their systems in Man of the People? IDK but I am all for it! It was also an awesome look into the Romulans and the going-ons on their ship, something we haven’t really gotten since TOS’ Balance of Terror, and all the Romulans are done very well. N’Vek kidnapped Troi but he did it for his cause and is a great morally grey character, and the female Romulan Commander Toreth is an excellent antagonist. Plus it’s nice to see more of the resistance and to see them within the Romulan ranks. It was an excellent episode and I freakin’ loved it~! Thank you show for giving Troi the badass episode that she deserves (even if it was this late in the show's run), now keep it up! 5/5.

Tapestry: Two Q episodes this season? Hell yes~! So… Picard dies. Welp. Q decides to take this to give Picard an offer: go back in time and undo his greatest regret, the incident that caused his artificial heart that he told Wesley about in Samaritan Snare. Back when he was a hot-blooded rebel who got himself into a fight that got him stabbed in the heart. In doing so, he now has a chance to correct all the wrongs and settle all he regrets in his life since that day. So up to this point, Q’s episodes since Q Who, while still entertaining and interesting, had been more light-hearted. Q still came off as an all-powerful being (Deja Q aside which him not being was the plot point), but his antics had been more comedic or light-hearted in comparison. In this episode, he’s acting like a trickster as per usual, but again more with the purpose to teach Picard a lesson. Why isn’t made very clear aside from maybe he just likes Picard (take that however way you’d like), but it’s nice to see this version of Q again while still utterly stealing the show. Picard got to undo the event… but would it have really turned out any better had it not happened? Would not making mistakes, having regrets, and making all the supposed ‘right’ choices when he should have had truly made a better impact in his present? That’s the funny thing about life, it’s easy to look back and go ‘if I had done this one thing differently, it would have been better’ and te desire to correct it is very powerful. But with mistakes comes the ability to learn. To grow. To mature. You’ll always have guilt and regrets, but you have to accept that this is what you chose and go about your life. Picard is a man full of thrown-away opportunities, pain, and so much more… but it also caused him to become a strong leader, intelligent, a risk-taker, and even with all his faults become a better person in his present day. Now obviously he doesn’t actually die, but he sure as Hell learned the lesson. The life he would have lead would have been unsatisfying, his old regrets replaced with new ones, and been unfulfilling for a man like himself. Now he can truly value the one that he has and the people in it. This was a fantastic episode. It’s crazy how Picard went from one of my least favorites to now one of my absolute favorites. His development and growth from a strict, aloof authoritarian to a much more reasonable father-like figure and much more humbled man and the captain has been excellent, and this episode just helps further that. The only real complaint is there’s not much time devoted to showing how his crew ended up without him, but that’s minor and doesn’t take anything away at all. Very well done~! 5/5.

Birthright: Okay, guess we got a second two-parter… and apparently it crosses over with DS9. Didn’t see that coming. But alrighty, I’m game~!

Part One: So the crew is on Deep Space 9 to assist in repairs of some incident involving the Bajorans and the Cardassians that I guess I’ll find out about when I get to the show. While there Worf is approached by an alien who informs him that his dead father? He may not be dead after all, having been kept in a Romulan prison. Worf doesn’t take it well. He ain’t the only one having daddy issues. While working with DS9‘s CMO Dr. Bashir, Data gets knocked out has a vision of Dr. Soong (a much younger one than in Brothers). Normally Data can’t dream so he’s pretty taken aback by this. So as a first part, this was pretty good. It sets up Worf’s plot well with him deciding to break into the Romulan camp to find out the truth and rescue the Klingons there. Data’s plot is overall nice. He’s never dreamed before so him trying to track down why is very understandable, especiallya after Picard suggests that he quit going through facts and try a more creative outlet to get his answers. So what happened? As it turns out Dr. Soong made it so that when Data reached a certain cognitive point, he would obtaint he ability to dream and he made an AI version of himself to talk to him. I guess he would have explained this to him in Brothers had Lore not shown up/had he not died. It was a really touching moment. Soong’s still not exactly the most ideal parent, but his AI copy seemed legit proud of how far Data’s come. Is it out of ego, legit parental pride, or both? That’s up for you to decide. As this is my first look at Bashir… so far I don’t have too manys torng opinions. he seems to act more liek a Science Officer or Engineer han a CMO, but he is cute and so far liekabe. He’s curious about Data, but doesn’t dehumanize him like Maddox in The Measure of a Man did, if anything he notes Data’s more human-like elements like being able to grow hair than any of the nuts and bolts. He seems pretty well liked from what I’ve seen int he fandom, so I’ll see how that holds when I reach DS9 but I like him so far. I do have some issues, but that more impacts the Overall so I’ll save it for there. So we end with Worf discovering his father’s true fate… and he’s informed by the Klingons there that he’s never leaving the camp. Welp. How will Worf get out of this one in Part 2? We shall see. 4/5.

Part Two: So what the heck is going on? Well, Worf’s father is infact dead, but there were captured Klingons. As they weren’t able to die with honor nor could they return home as it would dishonor their families (Klingons prefer death to capture), they chose to remain in the camp and live out the rest of their lives there. So now Worf is among multiple Klingons, the vast majority of which know nothing about their heritage, culture, and customs and had it outright demonized. To them, the lives they have are the norm and they have no desire to change it. Worf may have been out of touch with Klingons due to being raised on Earth, but at least he can explore it and get in touch with it. The ones in the camp? They can’t do that. They’re essentially in a gilded cage. Yeah, there's the argument that they achieved peace between Klingons and Romulans… by imprisoning said Klingons and demonizing their culture to them with the older Klingons allowing it. Though it seems it’s also because of broken spirits and the dishonor they’d have faced otherwise which is worst than death to them. There’s even one girl, Ba’el, who is half Klingon, half-Romulan… and despite what gets said I don’t get the sense that her parents' union was a fully consensual one. This was pretty good. Worf has found a group that like him were out of touch with their heritage, and he is now able to educate them and guide them. With all that’s happened and his struggle to be a true Klingon and find his way, this was really nice to have. He’s still clinging onto his hatred of Romulans and this episode isn’t going to help it dissipate, but at least it was addressed and Ba’el being upset at being judged due to how she was born was very much justified. Heaven knows that the themes here are still very much relevant in today’s time. Worf’s guidance pays off in the end and at last, they can be free. The younger Klingons have a rough road likely ahead of them since we know that Klingon society isn’t exactly the easiest to get through, but at least they have a chance at freedom. It was a very strong Worf episode and it was great to see~. 4/5.

Overall: Okay, so overall… it’s pretty uneasy. The Worf parts are good.. As I said, it was nice to see him in a position to give guidance to a group even more out of touch than he is. It was very wel done. The issues are mainly with Part One. We have this plot where they go to DS9… and we are barely there. We have Dr. Bashir… and only him. None of the other characters. We don't even see O’Brien despite him having transferred to DS9 at this point. Maybe the actors were busy sot they could only pick one but it kinda makes doing a crossover cheap. Bashir doesn’t even get a lot to do, you could write him out and very little would change. On the upside this means that viewers who haven’t watched DS9 won’t be confused nor would DS9 be required viewing, but it also kind of defeats the purpose of bringing DS9 in. It’s essentially just window dressing. Data’s plot, while nice, is completely dropped in Part Two. It feels like they were required to do a two-parter, didn’t have enough of the Worf plot to fill it out, and came up with the Data dream plot and using DS9 to fill it out. The crew also don’t really do anything in either part. As such, aside from getting Worf into the place he needs to be, Part One feels irrelevant. As such, I can’t give it a perfect rating. It was still good, but as a two-parter Part One bogs it down, but still allows for Part Two to happen. Overall, pretty good. 4/5.

[pocketramblr]

Also YES to super smart scientist All Might. I need all the fic/art of All Might like that. It makes me super sad Izuku never really got the chance to talk to David long enough to find out how much of a nerd his mentor is. But I just imagine them meeting some sort of weather controlling villain and both Izuku and All Might break out the mumbling/babbling about the quirk at the same time.

anon.... u just galaxy brained i love it

let him use that s-rank int! let him get to nerd! he’s a huge nerd both about science and like... cars/weapons/flashy things/sort of american geography aesthetic/heroics/i dont know but he nerds!! let him nerd and let him bond with his nerd son, give a surprised expression at each other after the ramble that they both followed, a little hair ruffle before jumping into action

i’d die if anyone told me a fic of this please.... we all need the fic/art

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #49: Lu Bu Fengxian

Today on Fate and Phantasms, we’re building the General of Repetition, General of the Left, General Who Pacifies the East, and General of Repetition, Lu Bu Fengxian! Lu Bu is a Berserker/Champion combo who’s good with every form of his signature weapon, the Fāngtiān Huàjǐ. Have I mentioned I’m really glad this is a text based format?

You can check out the level-by-level breakdown below the cut, or the summary here!

Race and Background

Quick and easy, Lu Bu is a Human Soldier. That gives him +1 to all stats, and proficiency with Athletics and Intimidation. Also, because you’re a general, you might get some respect from anywhere that recognizes your rank.

Stats

Your Strength should be your highest stat, that’s the one that makes the most stabbing. You’re not a druid, so any weapon that doesn’t use strength will use your Dexterity. Third is your Constitution; you’re a berserker, so you excel at all things physical. Your Charisma isn’t amazing, probably because you can’t really talk that well. Or at all. Your Wisdom is pretty low, but you’re cognizant of the action economy which is surprisingly wise of you, so we’ll dump Intelligence instead. You typically leave tactics to Chen Gong.

Class Levels

1. Barbarian 1: First level barbarians get proficiency in Strength and Constitution saves, as well as two Barbarian skills. Red Hare liked you so much he became a servant to follow you around, so you’re probably pretty good with Animal Handling. Also, you have to see good to shoot good, so tick off Perception as well.

First level barbarians learn to Rage, temporarily gaining resistance to slashing, piercing, and bludgeoning damage and getting a whole lot of strength bonuses for as long as they keep hitting and getting hit, up to a minute. You also get Unarmored Defense, giving you AC based on your constitution and dexterity. You do have... let’s call it medium armor, but the choice is nice.

While we’re here, lets talk about weapons. Technically, your signature weapon can transform into six different modes, but that’s a lot to keep track of, and I have no idea what a “sweeping” mode would look like, so we’re keeping things simple here. We’re grabbing a Pike for the melee mode and a Longbow for the ranged weapon. You won’t start with the longbow, but it’ll be a while before you get any juicy features for it, so just buy one later when you get the chance.

2. Barbarian 2: Second level barbarians can make Reckless Attacks, getting advantage on all your melee attacks for one turn in exchange for all attacks on you getting advantage as well. Also, your Danger Sense gives you advantage on dexterity saving throws. For those of you keeping track at home, you’re now proficient in two physical saves, and have nearly permanent advantage on the third. You’re pretty well rounded, if you ignore every mental stat you have. Which is exactly what we’re doing, because you’re a berserker.

3. Fighter 1: The third level of barbarian isn’t kind to you, so we’re going to hold off on that for a second and check out fighter instead. First level fighters get a Fighting Style, your preferred way of dealing damage. Great Weapon Fighting lets you reroll 1s and 2s to damage rolls of two-handed melee weapons which, oh look, you have. Your Second Wind lets you heal a bit if you want, just remember every bonus action spent healing is another bonus action not spent killing.

4. Fighter 2: Your Action Surge lets you pack another action into a single turn. We heard you like stabbing, so now you can stab while you stab.

5. Fighter 3: At third level you become a Champion. Your Improved Critical lets you deal critical damage on an attack roll of 19 as well as 20. In case you couldn’t tell yet, stabbing is your hobby, and you’re really good at it.

6. Fighter 4: Burn your first ASI to become a Great Weapon Master. Whenever you make a critical hit or kill a creature with a melee weapon, you can use your bonus action to make a single melee weapon attack. You can also opt to take a -5 penalty to an attack roll with a heavy weapon to add 10 to the damage roll. Your reckless attacks plus your improved critical means you have four times the odds of critting as a normal person, so that penalty is basically nothing to you. Like I said, you’re good at stabbing.

7. Barbarian 3: Back in barbarian, you’re now a Berserker. You were a Berserker before, but now it’s official. Don’t think about it too much. Berserkers can use a Frenzy when they rage, letting them use their bonus action to make an extra attack, but after their rage ends they take one level of exhaustion. Oh look, it’s literally what you got last level, but with a debilitating side effect. Don’t use Frenzy.

8. Barbarian 4: Use your next ASI to start beefing up on Strength. It will be a while before we can really make your bow shine, so best get really comfortable with that pike while we’re waiting.

9. Barbarian 5: Fifth level barbarians get an Extra Attack, letting you make two attacks in one action. This means you now have eight times the chance to deal a critical  per round compared to most people, and that will give you a bonus attack to boot. You also get Fast Movement, adding 10′ to your movement speed while not wearing heavy armor. You’re not even proficient in heavy armor, so if you do end up in some you’ll have bigger problems than moving slower.

10. Barbarian 6: Your second berserker feature is your Mindless Rage, making you immune to being charmed or frightened while raging, and suspending any charms or spooks affecting you if you where charmed/frightened before the rage started. Most charms try to bring a person over to the caster’s side: you don’t do sides. They’re all just “People I haven’t stabbed yet”.

11. Fighter 5: Fifth level fighters also get an extra attack, but it doesn’t stack with your other extra attack, so this level’s also does nothing. Now both of your classes have given you a dead weight level. Does that make this a balanced build?

12. Fighter 6: We’re gearing up for some shooting, so put this next ASI into the Resilient feat to round out your Dexterity and give you proficiency with dex saves. This also increases your AC, so it’s great all around.

13. Fighter 7: Seventh level champions are Remarkable Athletes. You can now add half your proficiency score to strength, dexterity, and constitution checks that you’re not proficient in, and add your strength modifier to your long jump distance. Now I’m wondering if there’s a third thing like this to make a fighter/bard that’s better in things they’re not proficient in....

14. Fighter 8: Another ASI to make your Dexterity equal to your strength. Now you’re almost as deadly at range as you are up close. Some people are smart enough not to come near you, but they’re only prolonging the inevitable.

15. Fighter 9: Ninth level fighters are Indomitable, letting you reroll one failed saving throw per long rest. Most people are probably going to try and charm you out of a fight, but you’ve got other ways to deal with that (read: stabbing them). Wait for someone to wisen up and try to Banish you, you’ll probably need it then.

16. Fighter 10: Champions get an Additional Fighting Style at level 10. Archery lets you add 2 to ranged attack rolls. It’s not complicated, but it works. Like you.

17. Fighter 11: Eleventh level fighters get another Extra Attack, which stacks, unlike the last one. Figuring out exactly how much hitting you can do now wastes valuable hitting time, but it’s probably a lot.

18. Fighter 12: Use your next ASI to become a Sharpshooter. You can now attack at long range without disadvantage and can ignore anything but full cover. You can also subtract 5 from a ranged attack to add 10 to its damage, just like your melee attacks. Sadly you can’t get extra attacks like GWM, but you’re slapping 30 damage onto attacks happening 300 feet away, so it’s still a good pick.

19. Fighter 13: You get a second use of Indomitable, because sometimes people try the same thing twice. You should know, you’ve tried the same thing (read: stabbing) every time, and it always worked.

20. Fighter 14: Your last level gives you your last ASI. Spend it on Constitution for better saves and some more HP.

Pros: 

You’re a well balanced killing machine. Unlike Herc, you don’t have to worry about speedier enemies giving you the runaround when you can just shoot them, and you’re still plenty useful in close quarters combat as well.

Three to six attacks per round times twice as many crits times constant advantage equals a whole lot of dice being thrown around.

Your mental saves (Int, Wis, and Chr)... are terrible. But, you have ways to instantly shut off any charm effects you catch wind of, and multiple rerolls to protect yourself from the occasional banishment.

Cons:

Splitting your attention on both strength and dexterity means you aren’t at the peak of either. Herc can out-sword you, and Robin Hood can out-arrow you. So shoot Heracles and stab Robin.

None of your attacks are magical, so some higher level creatures may be an issue if you’re in a low-magic item setting. Maybe you should find some sort of super cool tactician who can make magical weapons for you. Who knows where you’ll find one of those, though...

Next up: He’s not the rebellion we deserve, but he’s the one we need.

[thecreaturecodex]

Neanderthal

Image © Wizards of the Coast, by David Griffith. Accessed at the Frostburn Art Gallery here

[I’ve wanted to cover WoTC’s take on Neanderthals for a while. They’re pretty cool, and pretty scientifically progressive for the time period. Neanderthals had art, culture and interbred with “modern humans”, and were just another way to be a person. Honestly, the fact that they did not survive into the modern day bums me out. As such, I removed the Int penalty they got saddled with in 3.5. I also added the wrestler ability, inspired by the discovery that most Neanderthal skeletons have breakage and healing patterns that resemble rodeo riders more than other modern professions. I also used this as an opportunity to convert, and simplify, some of the original weapons in Frostburn.]

Neanderthal CR ½ N Humanoid Although this burly man looks human at first glance, he is slightly too broad and barrel chested. He has no chin, a forward projecting nose, and a strong brow ridge.

Neanderthals are closely related to humans—in fact, the two species can interbreed, and most human populations carry a distant trace of neanderthal bloodlines. Although they are sometimes disparagingly called “cavemen” and derided as bestial, they are intelligent and skilled at making a living on marginal lands. They make art and artifacts, bury their dead, and have complicated religious practices. Most neanderthals are animists, and they view shapeshifting creatures with respect and awe. Their material culture is focused on tools of stone, bone and wood—neanderthals spend much of their free time crafting and repairing weapons and tools.

In combat, neanderthals are not terribly subtle, favoring overwhelming force and teamwork. Typically, one neanderthal warrior will grab an enemy and wrestle them into submission, while their allies assist by attacking the grappled opponent. Most neanderthals have multiple broken and healed bones by the time they reach adulthood. They tend to be clumsy with ranged weapons, and do not trust bows or crossbows unless trained in their use by other peoples.

Neanderthals as Characters Neanderthals do not have racial hit dice, and advance by character level. They favor martial classes such as fighter, barbarian and brawler. Spellcasters are mostly druids and sorcerers. A neanderthal character has the following racial traits

+2 Str, +2 Con, -2 Dex Neanderthals are hearty and strong, but thickset and lacking in hand-eye coordination Humanoid (human) Neanderthals are humanoids with the human subtype Normal Speed A neanderthal moves at a speed of 30 ft. Endurance as a bonus feat Hunter A neanderthal gains a +2 racial bonus to Stealth and Survival checks Resourceful A neanderthal gains a +1 racial bonus to attack and damage rolls made with broken weapons, and ignore 1 point of Armor Check Penalty when using broken armor or shields. Weapon Familiarity A neanderthal treats a iuak, ritiik, suglin and tigerskull club as martial weapons Wrestler A neanderthal gains a +2 racial bonus to its CMB to grapple an opponent, and a +2 racial bonus to its CMD against grapple attempts. Illiteracy A neanderthal cannot read or write. A neanderthal can learn to read and write a language by spending 3 skill ranks in Linguistics Languages A neanderthal begins play speaking Thal. A neanderthal with an Intelligence bonus may select from the following languages: Common, Orc, Pilt, Sylvan

”Frostburn Weapons” © Wizards of the Coast, by David Griffith. Accessed at the Frostburn Art Gallery here

Neanderthal Weapons Neanderthals have developed weapons from bone and stone. Neanderthals have weapon familiarity with the following exotic weapons

Iuak       One Handed Exotic Weapon Price 12 gp; Damage 1d4 (S); 1d6 (M); Critical 19-20x3; Weight 4 lbs; Damage Type slashing; Qualities fragile An iuak is a flint blade weighted towards the end, which can strike like a hatchet or axe. An iuak is especially useful for chopping—attacks made with an iuak ignore the first 3 points of an object’s hardness.

Ritiik     Two Handed Exotic Weapon Price 5 gp; Damage 1d8 (S); 1d10 (M); Critical x3; Weight 6 lbs; Damage Type piercing; Qualities fragile, grapple, trip A ritiik is a short polearm like a spear, except that it has a sharp hook at the base of the blade that can be used to grapple or trip opponents.

Suglin   Two Handed Exotic Weapon Price 35 gp; Damage 2d6 (S); 2d8 (M); Critical x2; Weight 20 lbs; Damage Type slashing; Qualities fragile, performance, reach A suglin is an oversized polearm crafted with sharpened antlers. Although it deals massive damage and is intimidating, it is difficult to use. A suglin imposes a -2 penalty on all attack rolls by a proficient user, and a user without proficiency suffers a -6 penalty.

Tigerskull Club        One Handed Exotic Weapon Price 16 gp; Damage 1d6 (S); 1d8 (M); Critical x4; Weight 8 lbs; Damage Type bludgeoning and piercing; Qualities disarm, fragile A tigerskull club is made from the lacquered skull of a great beast, typically a smilodon. The teeth can be used to wrestle away a weapon as easily as to punch holes in an opponent.

Neanderthal barbarian 1              CR ½ XP 200 N Medium humanoid (human) Init +0; Senses Perception +5 Defense AC 12, touch 8, flat-footed 12 (+4 armor, -2 rage) hp 17 (1d12+5) Fort +7, Ref +0, Will +3 Offense Speed 30 ft. (40 ft. unarmored) Melee greatclub +6 (1d10+7/x3) or dagger +6 (1d4+5/19-20x2) Ranged spear +0 (1d8+5/x3) Special Attacks rage (7 rounds/day) Base Statistics when not raging, the neanderthal barbarian’s statistics are as follows: AC 14, touch 10, flat-footed 12; hp 15; Fort +5; Will +1; Melee greatclub +4 (1d10+4/x3); Ranged spear +0 (1d8+3/x3); CMB +4 (+6 grapple); CMD 14 (16 vs. grapple) Skills Climb +6, Swim +6 Statistics Str 21, Dex 11, Con 20, Int 10, Wis 12, Cha 8 Base Atk +1; CMB +6 (+6 grapple); CMD 16 (18 vs. grapple) Feats Athletic, Endurance (B) Skills Acrobatics +1, Climb +8, Perception +6, Stealth +3, Survival +3, Swim +8; Racial Modifiers +2 Stealth, +2 Survival Languages Thal SQ fast movement, illiteracy, resourceful, wrestler Ecology Environment any land Organization solitary, pair, band (3-6), party (2-8 plus 1 3rd level elite) or tribe (4-40 plus 1 3rd level elite per 5 individuals, 1 5th level shaman and 1 5th level chief, plus 100% noncombatants) Treasure NPC gear (hide armor, greatclub, 2 stone spears, stone dagger, other treasure) Special Abilities Resourceful (Ex) A neanderthal gains a +1 racial bonus to attack and damage rolls made with broken weapons, and ignore 1 point of Armor Check Penalty when using broken armor or shields. Wrestler (Ex) A neanderthal gains a +2 racial bonus to its CMB to grapple an opponent, and a +2 racial bonus to its CMD against grapple attempts.

[khhunniewriting]

The Others (15)

[ Mafia/Gang AU ]  [ Index ]

Warning: Suggestive/Mature content

In order to give you and his son an official title Joonkyung went to work. He had to find Jia’s real father, assert his dominance over Ambition, and most importantly... divorce Kylie.

Joonkyung presented the divorce forms to you as a result of his work the past few weeks. Everything was in place. He worked his lawyers day and night to look for any and all loopholes. If he was going to do this he had to make sure everything was covered. 

He would keep all of Illionaire and Ambition. He would share custody of Ji-hoon until he was of age to make his own decisions. If money was all that Kylie wanted then Joonkyung would willingly compensate her, he would give half his fortune as long as he was free of her. Besides, he could always make more money. His businesses were in place and would continue to make revenue while she piddled away at the finite amount. 

By then she would be another man’s problem.

“I thought you said divorce was impossible.”

It was strange, Leo knew nothing of other families except for what he had seen on television but he knew this wasn’t normal. Their lives revolved around these meeting-like gatherings in Joonkyung’s office.

It was obvious Ji-hoon was used to it by how he often tuned in and out at appropriate times. 

“Our marriage was based on a contract between my father and hers. I handed over the contract to the lawyers who specialize in the laws of our organizations. They know the rules pertaining to the others.”

The others meaning, the other son and mother.

You looked over at Leo who simply looked back showing no sign of discomfort. 

After several weeks of this, he found himself quickly adapting. All he had to do was sit idly and listen to the information. Like this, he quickly found out what kind of man his father was. He found out what he did, how he did it, and why his life was so complicated after finding out he was his son. 

Despite knowing his father’s circumstances, a part of Leo refused to accept him. He felt that if he truly loved his mother he could have looked for her despite her leaving him. He obviously had the means to look for people.

His thoughts were broken by Ji-hoon’s abrupt stance. 

Ji-hoon sat up stomping his feet on the ground to lean forward. Everything seemed in place to the adults but there was one problem Ji-hoon wished to address.

“She can’t force me to go with her right?”

Both you and Joonkyung put your qualms on hold to address the teen’s concerns. 

“Shared custody means she has equal rights of interaction with you. The lawyers took into account the fact that you have been living with me for the past five months and that you are enrolled in a school nearby. If anything your mother can claim her rights every weekend. You won’t have to live with her but-”

“I have to see her every weekend? What if I don’t want to? Is she just going to show up like last time?”

Clearly, Ji-hoon had many concerns that you felt were best handled by Joonkyung. You gave him a look asking him to assure Ji-hoon that everything would be alright but Joonkyung had his own way of handling his son.

“I can’t stop her from claiming her parental rights until you are eighteen.”

“Joonkyung, I’m sure you can do something if he doesn’t want to go with her.”

Ji-hoon had been dejected until you stepped in to help him. His eyes grew wide with the hope that perhaps he could set the limit on his interactions with his mother. As it was now, seeing her every other weekend was enough of a challenge. She continuously asked about his father’s business and interactions, pestered him to continue studying things he had no interest in, and polishing his image.

Joonkyung silently contemplated. 

He hadn’t foughten for full custody of Ji-hoon knowing very well that Kylie was solely interested in their son inheriting everything. He figured this would be the only way she would sign the papers. If he dared to fight for full custody it was probable this would amount to nothing. 

“There’s not much we can do.”

Ji-hoon looked over at you with pleading eyes knowing there was a much better chance of you convincing his father.

You held his hand assuring him you would do your best to help.

“But there is something right?” You were quick to catch onto the meaning behind his words.

Joonkyung relented and regathered the papers that would have to be redrafted. “I’ll see what I can do.”

\\\

After weeks of drama with their parents and each other Leo and Ji-hoon were happily getting back to their usual routine- despite the legal talk. They would go to school where they could be themselves- to a certain extent. 

Leo still forbade Ji-hoon from calling him little brother while Jihoon practically begged to hear him call him big brother once more.

“Don’t we have a game soon?” Ji-hoon asked Cjamm as he settled down into his seat and put his feet up onto his desk. After being benched the last game due to having missed so much school and practice, he was feeling a build-up of energy and possibly aggression. 

Cjamm nodded, “Should be this week but coach says it might be canceled.”

“Why?”

“The team we’re going up against has some major issues. A few of their stars were injured after going up against this really tough team. Their team was small to begin with so there aren’t many people to stand-in.”

“I really want to play~” Ji-hoon groaned.

“Don’t worry, we might play that tough team instead.”

“Anyone is fine just let me play-” Ji-hoon yawned not even a few minutes after arriving into his classroom. He pulled the hood of his jacket down over his eyes and began drifting not without mumbling first. “Leo’s mom really wants to see...”

Nauen immediately perked up hearing Leo’s name.

“I want to see Leo’s mom,” Cjamm sighed.

Ji-hoon immediately sat up, “Don’t even think about it.” Now he understood Leo’s previous actions. Leo’s mom wasn’t just Leo’s mom anymore. She was also his father’s girlfriend- Illionaire’s Lady. 

“Not you too... she’s not your mom.”

“Still, she and my dad-”

That’s all Naeun was able to hear before the bell rang signaling the beginning of class.

\\\

After following Kylie around Beenzino was able to report the places she frequented to Dok2. Out of all the places, there were a few hits for known money launderers and they all pointed to one group.

“So it’s JM?” The Quiett speculated who out of the group was the one crazy enough to associate with Kylie. They had a few high-ranking officers that would attract Kylie but only a couple of names came to mind. “Could it be Vasco?”

“He’s married and has his own kids.”

“That’s clearly not a problem,” Hyoeun chimed in.

“Then what about Swings, he has a long history.”

Beenzino nodded bringing said list to their attention. “There are five kids, all boys from different mothers, the youngest is seventeen. I looked into them but none were ever married to him. They all got compensated but none hold power of JM.”

“Did he suddenly mature and grow a conscience?” Changmo asked.

Beenz shook his head, “According to my information, it seems he has maintained a stable relationship since then with a married woman. Is this married woman Kylie, you ask?” Beenz tried to add some dramatic pauses before slamming down the damning evidence. “It is!”

There it was a picture of Swings and Moon Jia.

“Swings, legal name Moon Ji-hoon.”

No one had been able to dig up much of his personal life. Swings wasn’t like them who inherited their groups or were born int the organizations they serve. He built it up from nothing, he was an orphan with no record... or so everyone thought.

Joonkyung held back his anger. Seeing his wife’s lover wasn’t the problem, what bothered him was the fact that she dared to name their son after him. It was a slap to his face and his ego.

“Donggab arrange a meeting with the lawyers.”

“Yes,” The Quiett immediately stepped out of Dok2′s office relieved he was dismissed after such a revelation.

The rest awaited their chance to escape never meeting Dok2′s eyes.

“You three,” Dok2 pointed to the top three Ambition guys. Hash Swan, Changmo, and Hyoeun. They had been newly recruited when Ambition first came into his possession so they were incredibly loyal to Dok2 despite deriving from Ambition. “Find out who knew about this and who within is still loyal to Kylie.”

“Yes Boss,” the three responded and escaped in unison. 

Only Beenz remained. He was now able to take a seat in one of the empty chairs. “What now Boss?”

“I need 100% assurance that it’s his.”

Beenz was slightly startled by the dark tone. Jia suddenly became an object rather than a person as Dok2 continued to talk about them.

“I can’t just get a sample from JM’s leader.”

“Do the same thing you did with Leo and Ji-” Dok2 inhaled sharply unable to say his own son's name. “Get one of his sons to cooperate. A willing testimony from one of the older ones should assist our case. Compensate if you have to.”

“Yes, Boss.”

Once his office was emptied Dok2 slammed his fist into the desk. Now he knew why she insisted on naming their son. She had been playing him for a fool all these years. 

“What!” he shouted when he heard a knock on the door.

You hesitated but opened the door slightly. “Sorry, I thought you said to come back at this time.”

Joonkyung had sent you off to another room where he asked you to look through countless files pertaining to AOMG while he held his meeting. You had to quickly familiarize yourself with the threat in order to assist him.

“No, it’s fine- come in.” Dok2′s hands unclenched feeling the slightest bit of relief after seeing you.

You stepped up to him going beyond his desk to stand beside him and set the files down. “I went through everything and-” you jumped at the feeling of his hand running up the back of your thighs before resting on the bottom of your ass. 

“What are you DOING?!” Your voice went an octave higher as his other hand joined in the mischief.

He wrapped his arms around you pulling you against him so his face hid in your abdomen while his hands continued to evoke a blush from you. There was no response for a while. He eventually sat you down on his lap securing you there with his arms around your waist, only moving them when your hair or clothes got in the way. 

Joonkyung kissed your shoulder continuously going up to your neck and ear.

“I’m upset.”

“What did I do?” You quickly asked not aware of the situation.

“Not you.”

His responses were annoyingly short.

“Then why- ah!” You groaned loudly as he bit down on your sensitive spot. “Joonkyung!” You slapped his hands but he responded by readjusting them on the swell of your chest. 

Your shirt began to ride up as his movements became needier. You tried pulling it back down into place but Joonkyung got a hold of your hand and instead brought it behind you to rest on his lap.

Instantly you felt his need and began to hear the thumping of your heart. Blood was rushing to all the wrong places. Your mind was no longer thinking straight, you were no longer wondering what upset him. All you could feel was the warmth that overtook you. 

It was strange how often you found yourself going along with his desires. It took a lot more out of you to match his pace now than before when you first met but- “Joonkyung we just... this morning.”

“So?”

His hand held your chin turning you to the side so his lips could claim yours. The kiss was automatically deepened as he felt starved for attention. His heart was settled having you near but his mind was in a bad place now due to the new information. He felt like killing someone but he knew he couldn’t... yet. Instead, he would focus on what he could do now that Kylie had dug her own grace. 

Now he could fully enjoy your company to his heart’s content.

“It’s never enough,” he panted as he released your lips. By now your shirt was rolled up to your neck, one of his hands was inside the black lacey cup, and the other was on your lap working on the button and zipper of your jeans.

A knock on the door startled you into a panic imagining yourself being caught exposed like this. The door was clearly not locked, as you had proven by entering earlier. If someone uncourteous were to come by they would open the door to a sight.

“Go away!” Joonkyung immediately responded. 

At this point, he could no longer be stopped.

His kisses were deeper, his tongue pushing past your lips to tangle itself around yours. There was nothing he wanted to do more than you. 

“Clothes off,” he demanded after finally letting you go.

“What, here!?” Your eyes widened seeing him toss his own shirt and jacket aside, now only his chains hung around his neck. It was a sight that took your breath away. “What if someone-”

He didn’t allow you to finish voicing your concerns. He continued to kiss your neck until your mind was once again muddled. With only Joonkyung on your mind and in your eyes, you began acting on instinct.

Outside Dok2′s office, The Quiett stood watch knowing exactly what was going on behind the closed door when his assistant informed him you were the last person to enter. If anyone else were to interrupt they would all surely pay for it. Since the lawyers were all present in the building and available he thought it best to bring them by as soon as possible. He was only gone a few minutes, he never imagined his Boss would be so quick to get in the mood.

The Quiett ignored the lawyers questioning looks and directed them to instead wait in one of the meeting rooms. 

“I will bring the Boss shortly.”

The Quiett’s low voice was overpowered by a sudden chorus of moans on the other side of the door. Everyone in range averted their eyes as they pretended to hear nothing.

“Joonkyung!” You bit your lip unable to suppress every moan. Your hands were holding the edges of Joonkyung’s desk, knuckles turning white, to avoid from falling face-first into the wooden surface. 

Papers were scattered everywhere in the heat of the moment but Dok2 didn’t care. He was enjoying the intimate moment- as primal as it was. After rekindling their relationship Joonkyung had yet to be this brazen or demanding.

It was embarrassing but you were also enjoying. It reminded you of your younger selves when Joonkyung could hardly keep his hands to himself. When you heard him begin to grunt you knew he was close.

Soon his grip on your hips began to tighten and his movements became far more erratic. “Y/N I’m-”

“I know,” you panted allowing him to finish however he pleased.

There was one last moan. 

The Quiett sighed pinching the bridge of his nose. He was trying to rid himself of the blush that had inadvertently taken over his face. If he hadn’t left his notes in Dok2′s office he would have run off without a care in the world. 

He waited several minutes before knocking once more.

This time there was no verbal response only shuffling. 

Dok2 quickly picked up the papers that littered his floor while you locked yourself in his personal bathroom. Once everything seemed normal, to an extent, he called Donggab in.

The Quiett warily entered his eyes focused solely in Dok2′s direction afraid of seeing something he shouldn’t. “The lawyers are in the meeting room on the second floor.”

“Alright, let’s go talk to them.” Dok2 quickly knocked on the bathroom door to let you know he would be leaving. 

It was then that The Quiett saw the disarray of files on the boss’ desk. That was the end of The Quiett’s patience. “There is a couch right there!” He exclaimed while pointing out the nearly new leather couch in the corner of Joonkyung′s office.

\\\

After cleaning and straightening out your appearance you emerged into the empty office clutching onto your chest. The adrenaline and euphoria that helped you forget your environment were now gone. The thought of stepping out and meeting people after what you just did had your heart thumping in your ears.

You decided to wait for Dok2 there. Sitting down in his chair you began to fix the files that had been corrupted. Some were torn and crumpled rendering them useless but you did what you could. 

As you organized you came across the files pertaining to Jia and her father. It wasn’t clear whether you were allowed to read these files but you were hardly able to look away. When you saw the picture of a  man carrying a little girl you immediately put two and two together. 

“This must be Moon Jia...” you realized she looked exactly like Kylie. It was scary to think there would be another version of her to deal with later in the future. Although you hoped she would be far less threatening than her mother.

Next, you picked up a stapled packet, thick with various pages. You quickly browsed them until you were left with an unhinged jaw. “Five different mothers!”

Joonkyung walked in at that moment with The Quiett in tow.

You quickly put the scary file together and stacked it atop the rest. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked seeing your shock still clearly present on your face.

“Nothing, it’s just-” your eyes wandered to the file. “Jia’s father is... busy.” Busy was the only word you could manage to use to describe him. 

The Quiett would argue you two had no right to talk when you couldn’t be trusted to be left alone in an office.

“You read it?” Dok2 circled his desk but allowed you to remain sitting while he stood. You deserved to rest after what he just put you through. 

“Not all of it.”

Dok2 searched through the documents to pull out the old juvie record from a foreign country of a young Swings. “He goes by Swings, his real name is Moon Ji-hoon.”

Once again your jaw was left to hang. “Ji-hoon,” you repeated. It was hard to call it a coincidence. Had she not known about Leo and Ji-hoon having their blood tested she might have begun to suspect Kylie was unfaithful long before Jia. Still, she had the nerve to taunt Joonkyung like this?

“I have people looking into their relationship for anything useful that might help us with my son’s case.”

\\\

At home Leo finished his homework, having started as soon as they arrived from school while Ji-hoon lazed around and took a nap. 

“Finished already?” Ji-hoon stumbled into Leo’s room not bothering to knock despite Leo’s constant warnings to do so. “if only we were in the same class...” he sighed wishing he could just copy his little brother’s work.

Leo silently glared at him not bothering to remind him that he could easily do so if he would do well on more than just the tests.

Of course, Ji-hoon understood that is what he meant with that glare- now that he was proficient in his brother’s silent language. “There’s more to life than school and basketball my dear little brother.” He plopped down on Leo’s well-made bed with a sly smile. “Don’t you have any other interests?”

Leo looked over at the trophies and belts that rested in a display case on the opposite wall.

“Besides Taekwondo.”

Leo blinked, there was nothing else he particularly found interesting.

“What about video games, cars, motorcycles, fashion, girls...” Ji-hoon suddenly remembered how much attention his silent brother got from the female population at school. “What kind of girls do you like?”

Leo shrugged.

“Fine, I’ll say it first. I like sexy girls that like to dress provocatively and wear strong perfume.” Ji-hoon thought for a moment what else was important, “big boobs too.”

Leo rolled his eyes at the last part. “You would say that.”

Although Leo had never put much thought into what kind of girls he found favorable, he knew what he didn’t like. “As long as she isn’t annoying.”

Ji-hoon laughed. “Sure but what about looks?”

“Does it matter?” Leo shot back. Honestly, he didn’t think much of the girls that approached him. They always seemed to be like the girls Ji-hoon just described. He noted they tended to roll up their skirts and unbutton their shirts until a portion of their chest was visible. “Someone with some sense would be better,” he thought out loud.

Ji-hoon nodded understanding what it was all amounting to. “So you like the smart shy types.”

“Smart and shy is better than dumb and annoying.”

-end-

A/N: I’m setting up a lot for the future content of this series. That’s the best I can do when it comes to smut and such.

I also included an index since this is getting lengthy.

[imnotcreativeenoughtomakegoodurl]

Dean X cop! Reader: Soulmate AU - Part 1

Genre: Dean X Reader, fluff (??), soulmate AU, slight angst/whump (if you squint)

Warnings: Description of injury/blood (let me know if I missed any) Summary: 

Summary: This is based on the soulmate AU where any unnatural markings or blemishes (cuts, bruises, stains, marker, ect…) on your body will show up on your soulmate’s body. You got the short straw with whoever your soulmate was-This crazy bastard was always getting the holy hell beat out of him. Waking up in the dead of night feeling like a truck had just run you over went from terrifying to extremely annoying as time went on, but you always did your best to stay safe after one of those nights. However, being a homicide detective, “safe” wasn’t a word you got to use often.

          “Back again?” The doctor asked, flipping through the clipboard Janice had left on the door. 

          “Don’t worry Dan, Janice has already patched me up and just wanted you to check me over before discharge in case this is anything like last time.” You explained, casually rolling up your shirt to show Dan your several bruised ribs and what once was a deep gash in your side. 

          You were in and out of the hospital so often that you were on a first-name basis with the majority of the staff and even friends with several. It was almost routine for you to walk- or even be carried in at least once a week with an assortment of bruises, open wounds and the occasional broken bone. They often joked that once you met your soulmate they would thank him or her for giving them such a dedicated customer, that is if your soulmate didn’t get themselves or you killed anytime soon. There have been several times when your soulmate must’ve made the choice to fight a bear or something because more than once, you’ve come in half dead. 

          "Looks all good to me, (Y/N)," Dan said and you rolled your shirt back down. 

          He signed your discharge form while you gingerly slipped on your coat and detective badge. Dan indiscreetly watched the detective badge glinting on your belt disapprovingly as he walked you to the front desk. 

          "Hey, you gave me the all-clear, doc. Besides, if I don’t leave now, I’ll be late.” You said as you slid the paper across to the desk for Oliver to look over. 

          “Are you sure you’re ready to go back to work? Right now, today? I mean, I discharged you but that doesn’t mean you should pass up some bed rest.” Dan advises. 

          “I really don’t think there’s a point, Doctor.” Oliver sighs, handing you back some papers. 

          “I’m sorry but, Oliver’s right, Dan.” You feign an over apologetic tone, slipping the papers into your bag while walking backwards “There’s been more of those creepy homicides and the PD needs all hands on deck. There’s nothing I can do.” 

          “Oh, that’s bull and we all know it.” Oliver calls out, making Dan snort. 

          “Hey, whose side are you on, Oliver?” You demand. But halfway out the door you turn back and joke “Don’t worry though, I’ll be careful. My soulmate really doesn’t need another injury!” 

          When you make it to the precinct no one needs to ask why you’re late. Your soulmate problems are a well-known routine here as well. You slide into your desk but before you can even begin to crack the surface of the mountain of files before you, your secondary rushes over, brimming with enthusiasm. 

          “So primary, what’s the plan for today? Check-in at the crime scene? Take a look at those corpses firsthand? Interview suspects? Well, I suppose we should properly look over the security footage we just got-“ 

          You have to grab Natasha's arm to get her to stop bouncing around. “Let’s tackle one question at a time. I know this is your first homicide case as a detective and it’s starting to get pretty damn interesting, but we need to keep our heads clear.” 

            You look Natasha in the eye and half expect to see her pupils vibrating out of excitement. When they don’t and she just nods so hard that her blonde ponytail almost flops over her head, you sit her down and continue; “So, what do we know about the killer, Palmer?”

          You’ve barely finished your question before Natasha starts chattering away “Again, you can just call me Tasha, I’m not big on formalities. It’s so weird y’know-“ 

          “Tasha?” 

          “Right, the killer. They first struck a week ago and killed Patricia Davids and Brian Lee We know their MO is to kill a man and a woman within twenty-four hours by stabbing the victim’s brain through the eye sockets. The man and woman are usually involved romantically in some way, so we’re thinking that the motivation is love and the killer is someone with a vendetta against romance. Have you found out anything else on this lead?” 

          And once again, before you can respond Natasha gets sidetracked "This works so well! This whole call and response thing where we bounce clues around is never something I got to do as a cop! I-“ 

          “Well I’m glad you enjoy this tactic, Tasha, but it’d kind of dead in the water if only you get to respond.” You explain, feeling slightly guilty when she sagged a little at getting shut down for the second time. 

           You leaned in conspiratorially and as expected, Tasha’s excitement came flooding back as she leaned in to listen like a schoolgirl being let in on a secret “I went and checked out each victim's itineraries leading up to the homicides and got a connection: The last time each couple was seen together was at Vicci’s Diner. I was thinkin-“ 

          “What’s so special about Vicci’s Diner?” An unfamiliar voice asked from behind you. 

          Slightly ticked at the fact that more reporters wanted info on the murders, you put on your best passive-aggressive smile and turned. 

          Two men you guessed to be in their early to mid-thirties, wearing layered overclothes and muted colours looked down at you. The taller one had a longer hair and slouched a little, almost like he didn’t want to intimidate anyone with his height. The shorter one had green eyes that were fixed on Natasha and you could’ve sensed from miles away that he was about to hit on her. 

          “I’m Sam, this is Dean.” The taller one introduces “We’d like to ask some questions about the Davids and Lee case.” 

          “I’m sorry, but as I’ve told the several other reporters; we’ve already had all the information we’re allowed to disclose published so you can go and check that source.” You said through a gritted smile before turning your back on them. 

          “Well, can’t you tell us again? We want to hear it straight from the source.” Dean says a little too automatically, giving away that they had coaxed info out of people one too many times. 

          “What was the crime scene like?” Sam asks, hot on Dean’s tail “Did it maybe smell odd? Did things not add up? Any weird patterns?” 

          Tasha opens her mouth eagerly to answer but you didn't trust Sam's bizarre questioning and their rundown attire showed that they weren’t reporting for anything too serious. 

          “Well it’s a murder scene so things did smell a bit fishy and if things added up we would’ve found the killer- I’m sorry but I didn’t catch what news publishers you were reporting for.” You pointed out, watching the men’s eyes meet and Dean crosses his arms across his chest to seem more authoritarian as he prepares to deliver what you know is going to be a lie. 

          “Who’s the primary?” Sam asks, now addressing the two of you and dodging the question. 

          “Oh, it's not me.” Tasha answers placing her hands proudly on your shoulders from behind “It’s detective (Y/N) (L/N).” 

          Dean looks almost surprised, as most people do when they find out that someone like you is a high-ranking detective. For some reason, it ticked you off more when Dean didn’t think that you were one to solve double homicides than it did anyone else. 

          Great now the lack of sleep from bleeding all night was making you seek approval from a total stranger. 

          “Damn okay, I was expecting your pretty lookn’ partner to bee the primary but I can see how you could’ve fought your way to the top.” Dean smoothly dishes out a compliment with a smirk and once again you can tell that this is something he did often. 

          Sam elbows Dean and resumes the one-sided questioning “Could you tell us something about Vicci’s Diner maybe? Has anything like this ever happened before in this city?” You sigh and stand up from your desk. 

          Placing a hand on each of their backs you turn the boys around and guide them to the exit “Vicci’s Diner is a really nice place downtown that had some great soup and occasionally carters to the homeless. Personally, I would recommend their grilled cheese and I would also like to work on the case so I actually have some new information to give you ‘reporters’.” 

          You gently nudge them out the precinct doors and scribble your address and number onto a scrap piece of paper “Now I don’t know who you guy actually work for but if you really are that desperate for a firsthand account swing by at night and you guys can help me finish my pie while we talk.” 

          The door closes in the Winchester’s face and you hurry back to your desk, massaging your temples.

           Did I really just give two complete strangers my address? God, what is wrong with me today? 

          Outside the precinct, Dean memorizes (Y/N)’s address before pocketing it. “Quit pacing Sammy, we got an address, it’s fine.” 

          “Yeah, we know where there’s a connection, but the detective didn’t give us any clues on whether or not it’s supernatural.” Sam opens the Impala doors and awkwardly clambers in. “Maybe we would’ve if you didn’t scare (Y/N) off with your questions. You might as well have been screaming “hey do you think a ghost killed those lovebirds?’” 

           Dean starts the engine and the loud banging of a drum solo fills the car. Sam can barely hear Dean when he waves the address in his face and says triumphantly “And I wasn’t talking about the diner’s address; I just got the address of a cute cop who just invited me over for pie because I gave one compliment. What do you think I could get if I bought them a couple of drinks?"

          "A restraining order," Sam mutters as the car takes off. 

          The break room in your precinct had been transformed in the last few hours into a mess of loose papers and gruesome pictures connected by thread beautiful mind style. The cuff of your shirt was indefinitely stained with dry erase marker from the frustrated wiping blank of the whiteboard every time a lead didn’t pan out. 

          You took a swig of room temperature coffee as you reread the ME’s report but the words seemed to have lost all meaning in the 2AM stupor you were currently swimming in. You absent-mindedly run your hands over the puckered line on your skin where your soulmate’s gash had been patched up in your stress and sigh deeply. 

          “What are you still doing here?” One of the night shift detectives asked, poking their head through the crack in the breakroom door “Go home, you look like a mess- and so does your workspace.” 

          “Thanks, Nosellla.” You snap, picking your way across the cluttered room to shut the door and other distractions out. 

          Nosella wasn’t wrong though; you had bitten your nailbeds into raw oblivion and had to band-aid a few fingers. Your hair stuck up at the front and became an impenetrable net at the back from all the times you had run fingers through it and you didn’t even need a mirror to know that you had some killer bags under your bloodshot eyes. 

          Between your soulmate’s antics and this impossible case, you would be lucky to have gotten twelve hours of sleep in the last week. Maybe it was the stress or sleep deprivation or just delusions in general but you rolled up your sleeve and stood by the sink with a washable marker. 

          When you were a kid, you and your soulmate would hold little conversations by writing messages on your arm for the other to see and washing it off to leave room for a response. 

          You wouldn’t be surprised if you were called in to do a psych eval tomorrow for leaning over a running sink with a red marked poised against your forearm. The mess around you must not help your case either but what the hell-you were desperate. The paranoia sent you down a spiral of wondering if your soulmate- one of the only sure things in your life right now- was out there and alive. He had stopped responding when the beatings started getting really bad and you hadn’t “talked” in decades. 

          “Hey guess who?” you scribbled and instantly dunked your arm under the water like one would toss away a phone after sending a risqué text. 

           “I was starting to think that you’d disappeared until it felt like someone was trying to rip off my fingernails today. Are you okay?” 

          Your heart soared and you let out a breath you’ve been holding since the marker first touched your skin. 

           You washed off his black ink and wrote in place: “I’m fine, just stressed. Since I have you “talking” I have a question for you actually.” 

          "Shoot," He wrote 

          “I know you wouldn’t tell me when we were kids because you said it was dangerous but we’ve both gotta be adults now, right? I mean you wouldn’t even want to get close to me as we grew up because apparently any connection at all could be dangerous. I kinda want to know who on earth my soulmate is yknow. All I know is that you’re an adult male who has a habit of getting the shit beat out of them. I want to meet you one day, hopefully soon?”

          It takes him much longer to respond this time and the letters appear haltingly, without the usual ‘no looking back’ penmanship that you were used to. “Listen meeting my soulmate sounds great but look at the hell I’m putting you through without even meeting you. I could never put you through what I have to do every day and people who I talk to have a habit of getting hurt.” 

          Your heart clenches for him but you must resist the urge to roll your eyes. “I already go through everything you go through if that hasn’t toughened me up then my job certainly has. If what you go through is hell than what kind of soulmate am I to just stand here and live in blissful ignorance?” 

          You can feel that he’s pressing the pen harder into his skin as he rushes to finish his statement in his annoyance “It’s complicated, what do you think this is a fairy tale? You can’t just rush into my life like a knight in shining armour and expect to come out in one piece.” 

          Your phone pings and you check it one-handed as you run your other arm under the tap. The stakeout crew that you had stationed by Vicci’s with Tasha had just texted you about a suspicious car that had parked across the street behind the diner but stayed stationary with the engine idling and no one entering or exiting. 

           “Haha, yes!!” You exclaim out loud at the news of a concrete lead and possible suspects. 

          You quickly text the team to take photo evidence but not to engage until you got there and end the unfulfilling conversation with your still nameless soulmate: “I’m still here aren’t I? Trust me when I say I do have field experience with getting near-fatal injuries. Speaking of my job, duty calls but please consider trusting me. We are soulmates and I’d hate for you to actually die one day without me even knowing your name.”

          “Who said anything about me dying?” 

          “Call it gut instinct.” 

          Under a shadowed overpass you tap on the window of the stakeout car and it whirs down to reveal Tasha’s always grinning face. “You took long enough, (Y/N).” She whispers. 

           “Sorry.” You apologize glancing around for eavesdroppers before continuing: “ So what’s the deal?” 

          “Well, they know what they’re doing.” Tasha says with an edge to her whispers “They parked somewhere dark so we couldn’t really get their profiles or see what kind of guns they pulled out of their trunk. But it looked like this wasn’t their first time going into a dinner heavily armed.”

           “Good to know.” You say, eyeing the suddenly sinister diner “Tasha vest on and with me. We’ll go in and split up and you two be ready to call for backup on my call.” You order the team in the car. 

           You slip on the familiar weight of your Kevlar vest and draw your firearm. Tasha grins at you and gives you a manicured thumbs up and you smile tensely and nod. 

          This could be the day you make the biggest break of your career, but despite this, you think back to your soulmate. You think of the hell he refuses to put you through, wherever he is right now, while you’re hunting down a pair of potential serial killers, and you change your mind. This could be the day you prove to your soulmate that you have the balls to walk through hell with him. 

          It’s now or never; You quietly push aside the yellow tape barring off the retro diner door and step into the dark reception area. You almost gasp when your eyes adjust to the dark and see an enormous silhouette no more than a few feet from the nearest booth. You barely have time to load your gun when: 

          “SAM DOWN!” 

          A click, a flash and a bang and you’re blown off your feet as the shot hits you square in the chest.

[hawkvalley]

Broncos Regular Season Week 8

Hawk Valley

Quick Review

The Broncos lost to the Chiefs 43-16. The game was not as close as the score might suggest.

A longer review

Kansas City started the scoring off, it was a run to the left side, on first down with 9:08 left in the first quarter. On Denver's next drive, the offense stalled. They punted the ball back to Kansas City with 8:15 left in the quarter. On first down, the Chiefs fumbled and the Broncos recovered. Lock then connected with Patrick for a 26 yard gain. On third and goal, Lock scrambled to the right for a Denver touchdown. McManus missed the point after touchdown. After the miss, the announcers had a ref in New York review the catch by Patrick and he said the catch would have been ruled incomplete had Kansas City challenged the play.

With the ball back in the hands of Mahomes, the Chiefs wasted no time on offense moving down the field. On first down they picked up 17 yards on the ground. On second down, Mahomes completed a pass for a thirty-eight yard gain. At this point in the game, the Denver defense toughened up and held Kansas City to a field goal on that drive. At this point, the score was 10-6 Kansas City, with two minutes left in the first quarter.

The Broncos started their new drive by handing the ball off to Lindsay on first down. He picked up a first down, on first down. Drew Lock followed that up with an incomplete pass. On second down, Gordon picked up 7 yards, but someone on the Broncos was flagged for holding, wiping out the run. On second and twenty, the Broncos tossed the ball to Gordon for a gain of two yards. On third and 18, Lock completed a pass to Gordon, but he fumbled and Kansas City recovered. Mahomes then threw an incomplete pass to end the first quarter.

Two plays into the second quarter, the Broncos sacked Patrick Mahomes. Kansas City punted the ball and downed it on the two yard line. Gordon rushed for 8 yards on the first two plays of this drive. Lock then found Jeudy for a 7 yard gain and a first down. Lock then threw a deep pass to nobody at the 12:12 mark. Lindsay bailed him out by picking up 20 yards on the very next play. Lindsay picked up another 9 yards on first down. Fangio then rotated Gordon into the game and he picked up a first down. Lock lost three yards on first down. On the very next play, Lock threw a pick six. Kansas City now lead the Denver Broncos by 11 points with 9:18 left in the second quarter.

Over the next two downs, Lindsay picked up 25 yards. Then Vannett caught a pass from Lock for a 19 yard gain. At that point, the Denver drive stalled and the Broncos ended up kicking a 43 yard field goal. Kansas City returned that kickoff 102 yards for a touchdown, increasing their lead to fifteen points. The Broncos drive that followed the Chief's kickoff return, failed to get a first down and they punted with 4:15 left in the half.

Kansas City earned one first down on their next drive before they had to punt. The Broncos returned to Lindsay on the next drive and he picked up five yards but he was injured on the play. Gordon came in and picked up 10 yards. Then Lock was sacked for an eight yard loss with 1:37 left in the half. Lock shrugged that off and hit Okwuegbunam for a gain of 17 yards. On first down, Lock completed a pass to Hamilton for a 13 yard gain. Kansas City was flagged for defensive holding on that play. Lock was then sacked for a nine yard loss. On second and nineteen, Lock threw the ball away as he was being sacked. He was flagged for intentional grounding. As the first half ended, Lock completed a pass for a 21 yard gain.

The Chiefs started the second half off with the ball, but thanks to a sack on that drive, Kansas City ended up punting. The punt was 44 yards and the Bronco fielding the punt dropped it. He ended up recovering the ball. Gordon ran for a one yard loss on first down. Patrick then caught a pass for a twelve yard gain. On first down, the Broncos tried a reverse and gained eleven yards. Then the Broncos tried a flea flicker which was intercepted.

On third down, what looked to be another Kansas City touchdown pass, ended up falling incomplete when their wide receiver dropped the ball as the Denver defense arrived. Kansas City then kicked another field goal. The score was now 27-9 Chiefs. The next Broncos drive gained four first downs before it stalled. On fourth and five, the Broncos tried to get a first down, but don't make it. Kansas City responded with a gain of 16 yards on first down and then another gain of 17 yards. The Denver defense then forced the Chiefs into their "short game" offense and with 2:03 left in the third, Kansas City kicked another field goal. Kansas City lead 30-9 at this point.

Back on offense, Denver quarterback Drew Lock scrambled and looked to have injured his knee on the play. It turns out that his knee brace got stuck in the turf. The Broncos made Lock remove his knee brace that he had been wearing since high school. Rypien came in and handed off to Gordon. Kansas City was flagged for a personal foul on the play. Lock came back in and ran out the clock in the third quarter.

On the first play of the fourth quarter, Lock threw an interception. In less than two minutes, the Kansas City offense gained about fifty yards. With about 11:21 left in the game, Mahomes threw a touchdown pass. Kansas City extended their lead to 28 points.

Denver got the ball back and had their most successful drive of the game, it lasted a little over four minutes. The Broncos ran the ball three times out of four, for a gain of 7 yards. The one non-running play was a pass was to Hamilton for a 13 yard gain. On third and five, Lock connected with Fant for an eleven yard gain. Lock went right back to Fant for a gain of 24 yards. On second down, Lock hit number 85, the big O, for a gain of 14 yards. At the 7 minute mark, Gordon ran into the end zone. The score was now 37-16, Kansas City.

Denver tried an onside kick, but Kansas City recovered. Andy Reid pulled Mahomes at this point and put in their backup quarterback. He moved the ball into the red zone. On first down, they ran up the middle for a two yard gain. On second and goal, a quarterback scramble lost three yards. On third down, they ran the ball for a two yard gain, but there was a flag on the play. First down Kansas City, with 3:48 left in the game. On second down, the backup quarterback scrambled into the end zone. Their kicker ended up missing the PAT. The score was now 43-16 Chiefs, which ended up being the final score. On the next Bronco drive, Lock threw four consecutive incomplete passes. Kansas City took over on downs and entered victory formation with 1:36 left on the clock.

The Game Stats

Denver

Time of Possession

33:24

Passing Attempts

40

Passing Yards

254

Rushes

33

Rushing Yards

177

Chiefs

Time of Possession

26:36

Passing Attempts

25

Passing Yards

213

Rushes

22

Yards

101

Player Stats

The Running Game

* AYPC is average yards per carry

PlayerCarriesAYPCLongTD(s) Fumble(s) Gordon1741112 Lindsay992000 Freeman34600 Lock33410 Hamler1101002

The Passing Attack

* He was targeted once

PlayerReceptions%LongTD(s)Fumble(s) Okwuegbunam7100%1700 Patrick375%2700 Fant343%2400 Hamler267%2102 Jeudy250%1300 Hamilton267%1300 Gordon250%1002 Vannett267%1900 Freeman150%500 Cleveland*00%000

The Quarterbacks

Lock

Passing

compypaTD(s)INT(s)LongRating 60%6022758

Rushing

AttYardsLongTD(s) 3841

Sacked

TimesYards LostFumble(s) 3200

Mahomes

Passing

compypaTD(s)INT(s)LongRating 65%91038107

Rushing

AttYardsLongTD(s) 0000

Sacked

Time(s)Yard(s) LostFumble(s) 3250

Henne

Passing

compypaTD(s)INT(s)LongRating 100%7001194

Rushing

AttYardsLongTD(s) 4-211

Sacked

Time(s)Yard(s) LostFumble(s) 130

During the week

There was a full press by the media to promote Drew Lock. They even suggested that the Broncos draft better receivers, hire a new offensive coordinator and only use offensive sets with three tide ends and two running backs so that Lock would look better. The problem with this approach is, those people that the media wants to replace, looked great when Rypien was behind center.

Once again, people blamed the front office. During this discussion, a point was made that John Elway doesn't have much time left on his contract. So maybe, change will be coming soon? *soon, as in the next two years.

Both the Broncos and Chargers tested positive for Covid this week. The Broncos offensive line coach has been quarantined and on Sunday, it was announced that the Broncos defensive coordinator tested positive. An offensive linemen for the Broncos will not play today due to a positive Covid test. The game is still scheduled for today.

Afc West Standings

Vs the Division

TeamGame(s) PlayedWinning %Net Las Vegas1100%+8 Kansas City367%+22 Los Angeles10%-3 Denver10%-27

Vs the Conference

TeamGames PlayedWinning %Net Kansas City4100%+53 Los Angeles2100%+13 Denver450%+8 Las Vegas20%-23

vs the NFC

TeamGames PlayedWinning %Net Las Vegas367%-11 Los Angeles30%-15 Denver10%-18 Kansas City00%0

Today's teams ranked by stats

Broncos (2-4)

28th

28th

26th

16th

6

5

13

93%

0

18

0

0

0

0

-8

Lost 1

Chargers (2-4)

21st

4th

5th

13th

12

5

9

69%

0

12

0

0

0

1

-2

Won 1

Outlook

For this game, lets look at how each team played against common opponents. Both teams have played the Bucs and the Chiefs. The Chargers lost to Tampa Bay by 7, the Broncos lost by 18. Both teams have played against the Chiefs, the sole divisional opponent for both teams. The Chiefs beat the Chargers by 3 points, but they beat the Broncos by 27. Both teams are 2-4, in their four loses the Chargers have been outscored by 18 points or close to 5 points per game. In the games the Broncos have lost, they have been outscored by 52 points or almost two touchdowns per game.

Game Time

Sunday November 1 @ 2:05 PM MT