#and his romo partner is an assassin

[pocketramblr]

Well now i just want to read a fic where eraserhead and snipe are an assassin duo

so do iiiiiiii like come on. i think they'd be an amazing assassin duo. they're both ridiculous (one's a cowboy and ones a bounty hunter) they're both homeroom teachers, they both lie to other people about their quirks, i can totally see snipe being a cat person too (alt, hes a dog person and its their issue with the other). they should both also be assassins together

[moonfurthetemmie]

this is actually relatively old, but i just found it again and decided to cut out the like 3 dubious paragraphs that the whole thing started with. because i think i'm funny.

there were supposed to be more parts but literally the only thing after this is “…Man, I’m not one to judge someone else’s chocolate consumption, but this is…a lot more than usual. Are you okay?” and i have no idea what was supposed to come next. i'm not even entirely sure who was talking.

anyways. an excerpt from a google doc titled

who needs a champaigne supernova when you can have a toxic romo supernova

“...Y’know, I heard a rumor that someone saw a human scaling the walls to get to Dream's apartment a few nights ago,” Ink said in a hushed tone. “Dunno how true that is, though. Especially since this human apparently didn’t show up on any security cameras.”

Finch furrowed his brow. “I can believe someone thought they saw something, but why would anyone try to get into his apartment from the windows? It’s ten stories up.”

Ink shrugged. The pair turned from the office door and began to make their way down to the main wing of the justice division. “Maybe someone trying to blackmail him or something. If it had been, like, an assassin, he’d have said something by now. Or be dead.”

“...Surely he would tell someone if it was blackmail, though?” Finch took a sip of his coffee.

Ink shrugged again. Then she snickered and said “Maybe he’s got a secret lover.”

“Very funny, Ink. I’ve been working here even longer than you, and I have never seen him show even the slightest interest in anyone.”

“Yeah, that’s why it’s a secret. He’s got this reputation to uphold and shit.”

“...Please tell me you’re joking.”

Ink rolled her eyes. “Obviously. If he had a partner he probably wouldn’t be keeping them a secret. Even if they could be targeted to get to him, he’d think he could protect them from a nuclear explosion.”

Finch sighed. “I was about to be very concerned about you.”

“It would be hilarious if it was a secret lover or something, though.”

“...Yeah, alright, it would be. Who would it even be?”

Ink cracked a smile. After all this time knowing her, it still made Finch uneasy. “Do you want a crack answer or what I think is the most likely answer?”

“I’m afraid to ask what the crack answer is.”

“Cross.”

Finch involuntarily inhaled some of his coffee.